#i’d say not to be tmi but this is my house

[seethinglikeme]

girl help i need to shit but i keep forgetting to eat 😔

[6ix9inewiturmom]

She Ours- Christopher and Matthew Sturniolo

Summary: you’re at an LA party and both chris and matt find you attractive…

Warnings: SUMT, THREESOME(not the weird kind ya freaks), P in V, Unprotected (please don’t reproduce), Dom!Matt!Chris, Sub!Reader, Squirting, Oral (M and F Receiving), PARIS (iykyk)

A/N: THIS IS BASED OFF OF P POWER BY GUNNA FT DRAKE 😫😫 ENJOY

My friend Lina was one of the biggest party girls I knew, every weekend was some party she heard about through the grapevine, which typically because I don't get out much she insisted on dragging me out of my house.

“This party better be worth it” I snap walking down the staircase of my shared house with Lina. She let me borrow her outfit: A skintight black dress that barely covered my ass, her adorable red bottom heels, and my jewelry.

“Girl you have the possibility of getting LAID tonight, let's not complain,” she stops to gasp “Maybe if you get laid you'll stop being so bitchy” she jokes.

“Lina you realize you're like the female version of a player right?” I laugh as we walk out of the house together.

As she fastens her seatbelt and starts reversing the car out of the driveway, she responds with a gentle smile, "No, I'm not. I love everyone."

“That's the problem” I chuckle.

Driving on the highway we had our hype music blasting through the speakers of the car, Lina breaks the silence, “When is the last time you actually had a dick?”

I about choked on air when I heard her invasive question, we were best friends so TMI didn't exist in our relationship considering we've known each other since we were 2 years old in daycare, but I was more or less caught off guard. “um I’d have to say probably since I went off the rails and impulsively joined Tinder and had that horrible hookup with that guy. Um shit, what's his name? OH YES TYLER” I laughed reminiscing the times.

“BITCH” she jokingly yells stomping on the brakes at the red light sending my whole body jerking forward. “That was 2 years ago” she whispers

“Yeah but like that man was weird as fuck, so I just thought maybe a guy who wanted to fuck would just pop out of the blue somewhere I don't know, you're a lot better at this than I am” I shrug getting almost embarrassed.

“oh my god, bitch this isn't the 80s you need to catch a dick” We both laugh at her commentary “But let's not catch STDs” her voice trails off as i try to contain my laughter.

After a lengthy journey, we finally reached the venue. As we pull into the parking lot, we are greeted by the sound of vibrant and lively music reverberating through the air. As we stepped out of the car and made our way inside, we were immediately engulfed by the dim, flashing lights and vibrant colors illuminating the area, accompanied by the pulsating beats of loud music that reverberated through the space.

“BITCH I LOVE THIS SONG” Lina yells over the loud music and dragging me to the lit up squared boxes where the song Maneater by Nelly Furtato is playing.

My hips move around to the song, not a care in the world who sees me but alas I nervously look around and see two pairs of crystal blue eyes practically drooling over me. One with slightly longer hair than the other and the other with a tatted arm but they both look the same.

“Y/N” Lina yells over the loud music “YOUR LOOKING A LITTLE TOO HARD” she continues

“Those guys over there keep looking at me” I lower my tone a little trying not to make a scene “They’re kinda cute” I softly smile carefully taking my bottom lip between my teeth and watching them talk amongst each other.

“BOTH?” Lina's eyes widen

“I mean why not?” I shrug my shoulders laughing

“They look like brothers which I mean is kinda attractive” Lina Replies “Just not that weird threesome Shit I'm talking about that trip to Paris if you know what I mean” she smirks shimming her shoulders

“Oh shit” my eyes widen “fuck they're coming over here, WHAT DO I DO LINA”

“Just act normal and if shit gets weird to remember to text me ‘Lemon Jelly Belly’ and ill find a way to get you out of there” Lina smiles as she walks over to the bar to flirt with the bartender

My nerves were heightened to the max watching the boys walk towards me, one of them had this coxky aura about himself and the other seemed nervous but still confident.

“Hello beautiful” the longer-haired one walks towards me coming behind me.

The one with the tatted arm comes in front of me, his smile turns into a smirk as I find my bottom lip in my teeth again.

“I'm Matt, and this is Chris” Matt said smirking down at me.

“We just couldn't help ourselves when we saw the way your hips moved and danced to the music,” Chris says whispering in my ear smirking.

“Thanks for asking my name, I’m Y/N” I snap jokingly

“That's such a pretty name,” Matt says placing his hand on my face and caressing my cheek

My hips started moving to the song softly as Matts's hands made their way to my hips as Chris’ was planted on my ass.

“Can I?” Chris asks as he moved the hair on my neck and became closer to my neck.

“Mhm,” i mumble

“Use your words, sweetheart, Can he?” Matt smirks down at me.

“Y-Yes” i stutter.

“Good girl” Matt’s smirk remains on his face as Chris kisses my neck and immediately finds that sweet spot on my neck sending chills down my spine.

“Why don't we do this In a little less crowded area hm?” Chris suggests

“I don't mind” I softly giggle

“Chris, how are we doing this? We gonna flip a coin to see who gets her first or what?” I could tell Matt was a little antsy and irritated by his brother's greediness.

“She ours,” Chris tells his brother.

Matt’s smirk became more apparent as soon as Chris said those words. Chris grabs my hand as and he guides me up a set of stairs and Matts hands remains on my ass. My eyes meet Linas and to say the least I've never seen her more proud of me. Her eyes are wide and her smile is wider. She's holding up her thumbs nodding her head in approval.

the room was dark, but very warm and had lots of room, the bed had silk sheets, and a lot of posters. “Do you guys know whose room this is anyway?” I nervously chuckle out.

“Happens to be my room” Matt speaks with a laugh

Chris comes behind me moving my hair to kiss that sweet spot on my neck again this time leaving dark purple marks on my neck. Matts's gaze softens as his eyes darken with lust watching how my body reacts to Chris’ mouth against my neck. Matt comes closer to me looking at my eyes first then my lips and sending me a soft but seductive smile before he presses his lips against mine. A soft moan escaped my lips causing him to pull back and smirk.

“Fuck I wanna rip this dress off of you,” Chris says with a husk in his voice practically groaning.

Matt presses the pad of his thumb against my lip running it across my bottom lip. “I just wanna put this pretty mouth to good use” he smirks.

Before Matt could do anything Chris picked me up and threw me on the bed looking in Matt's direction with a smirk.

“Sorry ma I really couldn't help myself” he softly chuckles positioning himself between my legs and rubbing softly up and down “May I?” Chris questions while playing with the bottom of my dress

“Be my guest” I smile looking down at his blue eyes glaring down at my clothed pussy with a small wet patch from my neediness of getting dicked down.

Chris moves my dress up to my mid-thighs and slides my underwear to the side diving right in like it was his last meal on planet earth. Matt on the other hand was too impatient and hard to wait, he removed his belt and his pants and kneeled on the bed beside me stroking his throbbing hard cock beside my face and rubbing his tip along my bottom lip teasing my mouth, finally he grips my jaw signaling to open wider as he slides his cock in my mouth thrusting ever so slightly, watching me please him and get pleasured by his brother.

Chris’ tongue laps around my clit, as my moans r muffled by Matts's cock being shoved so far down my throat.

“Fuck” Matt groans “Prettiests of mouths do the sluttiests of things” he praises as he wipes the tears that started forming in my eyes from the overstimulation.

“You're clenching around my tongue ma, you close?” Chris sadistically chuckles around my pussy.

“Mhm,” I muffle out around Matts's cock desperately in need to release built-up tension.

“Why don't you be a good girl and cum for Chris yeah?” Matt coos as he's thrusting his hips in my throat while having my hair in a makeshift ponytail.

My legs tremble and shake around Chris’ head signaling to him how close I am. “That's it baby” Matt's voice becomes husked.

Chris groans around my clit as his tongue laps around it feeling my cervix spasm over the overstimulation and pleasure that he knows he's giving me. The pent-up knot in my abdomen snaps sending me in a wave of euphoria, my eyes roll back, and my legs shake. Matt trusts into my mouth a couple more times before finishing in my mouth, placing his hand on my throat to feel mg swallowing all of him.

“Such a good girl” matt coos at me with my lips still wrapped around his cock.

He gently pulls out and walks over to Chris who's smiling down at me wiping his mouth with his sleeve. The boys talk amongst each other talking about how they'll share me.

Matt walks over between my thighs biting his lip. “Sweetheart I don't have a condom,” he says almost nervously.

“I'm on the pill,” I smiled up at him as his eyes lit up at my response.

He brings his hand to my mouth “Spit” he demands and I obey.

He uses my spit to coat his dick as my eyes roam from Matt to Chris who moves to place himself behind me placing kisses on my neck.

Matt aligns himself at my entrance pushing slowly. “Oh fuck” I moan out as my back arches off of Chris and my hands grip his for support.

He pushes himself further, completely bottoming out letting a loud groan fall from his lips and his head throwing back “fuck baby, you feel so fucking good” he smiles devilishly as he watches my body react to His movements.

his thrusts become harder and rougher. “god damn” he groans out almost at a whimper. “fuck your pussy was fucking made for me” he looks down to watch himself thrust in and out of me as he notices a bulge in my stomach from him and he smirks and presses down.

“Fuck” I scream out.

Both Matt and Chris smirk and look up at each other “Someone likes that eh?” Chris whispers in my ear using his hand and pulling and twisting at my nipples.

Matt pressed harder on my stomach watching my face contort in pleasure. “Such a fucking whore” matt groans out.

“C-C-C-LOSE” I stammer out.

“I can feel you squeezing my dick so fucking good, let it out baby” he coos not switching up his pace or his movements one bit.

Chris’ hand snakes around my throat giving slight pressure to the sides making me see more than just stars. “Cum for Matt baby, come on you can do it ma” Chris praises in my ear.

A loud squeal escaped my lips as my orgasm hit me like a train and I squirted my juices all over Matt and his abdomen. “There she is” Matt lets a low chuckle out from him. “Hold on for a second sweetheart, you can take it”

His thrusts got sloppy as I became jello in Chris's arms, with one final thrust Matt painted my pink gummy walls white coating them with all of his cum.

“Fucking hell” matt breaths out.

“You did so good” Chris praises, “can you take one more ma?” he smirked up at matt.

My body was tired but alas I nodded with a tired smile. Matt moved to where Chris was but Chris had other ideas, he used my ankles to flip me up so my ass was in the air and my stomach lay flat on the mattress. Chris used his precum and spread it around his dick before aligning himself with my sensitive entrance and bottoming out quickly.

“Fuck chris” i moan out trying to move forward but Chris stopped me by placing his hands on my waist pinning me down to the mattress.

“Someone a little sensitive hm? Can't take me, can you?” he chuckled sadistically.

I bit my lip to muffle my own screams of pleasure. “I-I- I can take it-“I was cut off by Chris absolutely pounding into me like there was no tomorrow hitting spots I didn't know was even possible.

Skin slapping and moans were the only sounds bouncing off the walls. “I ain't gonna last long ma, you're clenching me so fucking good” he groans out forcing my head into the mattress.

“CLOSE” I scream out.

“Come on sweetheart, be the good girl you were for me and cum for Chris yeah?” Matt is positioning himself so he can brush some of the hair out of my face.

Matts's gentle words sent me over the edge and once again, I squirted all over Chris sending him into a state of euphoria and cumming on the spot inside of me filling me up with his seed.

I immediately collapse laying flat on the bed out of breath. Matt ran into his bathroom connected to his room and grabbed a warm cloth to clean up my legs as Chris whispered sweet nothings into my ear about how good I did for both of them.

“You doin’ okay love?” Matt says softly wiping my legs.

“Mhm,” I mumble out.

They chuckle as Matt throws a pair of sweatpants and an oversized shirt for me to put on. In my attempt to stand up, my legs gave out.

“Don't tell me you can't walk?” Chris chuckles

“Try to be in my position and see how you feel” I joke making them chuckle.

“Okay okay Chris enough taunting,” Matt says guiding the shirt over my head and helping me get changed.

Chris helped me get my pants on while talking to me about random stuff like 7/11 Bring Your Own Slurpee Day that he didn't know existed and Matt rolled his eyes.

“We just took her ability to walk and change herself i doubt she wants to hear about Slurpee day Chris” matt says carrying me bridal style to sit down on his bed.

Suddenly someone barges into the room obviously drunk. “Wait this isn't the bathroom” it was Lina who immediately saw me and started winking and throwing her thumbs up seeing me curled into bed and in someone elses clothes.

“Who the fuck are you? Get out!” Chris yells “Bathrooms downstairs” he gently closes the door.

“That was Lina…” I shyly say covering my face.

“Who?” they say in unison

“Lina my best friend since we were two, she's the reason I came” I laughed softly.

“yo…you think she heard anything,” Chris says bluntly scratching the back of his head.

“She's weird but not that weird. She's obviously drunk so she'll forget it by morning if she did anyway” I brush it off, and I pat the empty side of the bed for Chris to join Matt and me on the bed where I'm in the middle of both of them.

“You wanna watch anything? I'll let you pick?” Matt says handing me the remote and smiling.

“Wha- bro you never let me pick anything when I’M in your room” Chris whines.

“Shut up” matt laughs in response.

“Yall ever seen gossip girl?” I smirk at both of them

“Nope,” they both say popping the ‘P’

“YAY okay so we gonna watch it and if you have any questions feel free to ask” I smirk getting cozy and comfy in the silk sheets pressing play on the the TV.

“Why am I scared?” Chris says leaning over and whispering at me.

“Shut up and watch” I snap playfully.

HI LOVERS!! im so sorry for not posting this!! ive had writers block and i’ve been on vacation with my family visiting my home town and i haven’t really had time to write or do anything on this fic!! but i hope you guys enjoy it and i love you and thank you for your patience!!

XOXO,

Gabs 🩷

Sjendje

[colorsunimaginable]

the spare // chapter sixty-eight // death eater ! tom hiddleston oc x plus size ofc - voldemort wins au

story summary: 

While on a mission to avenge the death of her best friend, Ilvermorny graduate Melisa Alder finds herself in the middle of the fight to defeat Voldemort. Upon capture after the Dark Lord's triumph, she's being sold at an auction with other muggle borns and blood traitors. Her only hope is also her only bidder - the tall, dark, and handsome Thomus Malfoy, Lucius Malfoy's younger half-brother. Is he just another Death Eater or is he hiding more than just his face beneath the mask? Will she realize her true potential to be one of the resistance's greatest weapons?

*a Voldemort Wins AU with Tom Hiddleston cast as an OC x a plus size protagonist* *takes place in The Auction universe by Lovesbitca8*

words for this fic: 6.7k warnings for this chapter: p in v, fingering, dirty talk

a million boops to my beta reader banners by @cafekitsune

CHAPTER MASTERLIST

Chapter Sixty-Eight:

Cliveden’s gardens at night in the winter are beautiful. They’re vast and eerily empty, though that could just be the stillness of the night. Victorian lamp posts light the way and with the gently falling snow, kinda gives me Narnia vibes.

 I wander around, careful to stick to the crunchy gravel paths and keep the main house in sight. This isn’t the first time I’ve had such an opportunity for escape. Yeah, I could Apparate anywhere, but why? Now that a plan will be in place, what’s the point? It’s exactly what I wanted. 

Movement draws my eye and I catch Diana’s head above the shrubbery, heading in my direction. I’m not ready to go inside yet, so I sit on a nearby bench and wait for her to join me.

“Did they send you to make sure I was still here?” I ask, mostly teasing.

“Kyle did,” she admits as she sits next to me. She’s all bundled up in a stylish thick wool coat while I’m just fine in my Ilvermorny sweater and Thomus’ scarf. “But that’s alright, I’d much rather talk to you.”

Instantly my guard's up. “About what?”

She hesitates for a moment, but I give her my best encouraging expression, despite my raging nerves. 

“Well, I wanted to ask how you feel about Thomus.”

I blink, my eyebrows shooting up. “Oh, um, well, I -”

“It’s just that Jake seems to think you genuinely care about him because of how adamant you are about his safety,” she says. “Now that I’ve met you and I’ve seen you two together, I think he’s right, but I wonder if it’s more than that.”

I think about my answer for a few moments, but respond with a question instead. “Is this because you two used to date?”

She immediately shakes her head and chuckles. “Definitely not. It didn’t last longer than a month or two and it was a long time ago.”

“Did-did he break up with you?” I ask with some hesitation.

“I dumped him actually,” she says. “He just… When we hung out or went on dates, his mind always seemed like it was elsewhere.  The only time he seemed fully present and invested was when we…” she trails off. 

“When what?” I prompt.

She gives me a sheepish expression. “Sorry, it might be a bit TMI.”

I shrug and shake my head. “Don’t worry. There’s no such thing as TMI for me. I need everything.” Even if that information guts me. I’d always rather know.

“When we were sleeping together,” she says all in one breath.

I don’t say anything, waiting to hear more. “Oh, is that it?”

Her eyebrows tilt up in sympathy. “I suppose if I were in your situation I wouldn’t want to hear about it.”

“Yeah,” I say, looking down. “I can see that. Do you know what he was so focused on?”

“Well, I know his mother had passed away a few months before and then there was… her .”

“Bellatrix,” I sigh knowingly.

“He visited her every couple weeks - no matter what. I didn’t even know he was still going after we started dating. When I confronted him, he insisted there was nothing physical going on between them, but I… had my doubts. He told me he stopped going after that, but I know he went back after it ended,” she explains. “Does he still see her often?”

“I… have no idea honestly.”

“Have you not asked?”

I shake my head. “Why would I?”

“Because you two are…” she sighs. “It’s complicated, I know.”

“There’s a massive power imbalance between us and I’m not going to let myself forget that, regardless of how I feel.”

“What about how he feels?” she asks gently.

“If anything he feels is real, then why am I still his prisoner?” I answer a little too quickly. “He doesn’t see me as his equal. I don’t want to belong to him like I’m some kind of possession. I want a partner willing to rely on me as I want to rely on them in return. How can anyone be devoted to an object?” I finish by inhaling sharply, having taken short breaths during my lament. 

Her lips press together as she regards me with a cautious look. “The world has really changed since Harry Potter died,” she says. “No one is doing well - especially muggleborns. No one has been able to fly under the radar since they started implementing some kind of forced registry.” She pauses and then chuckles. “And you would not be able to go unnoticed.”

I sigh. “It’s the hair isn’t it?”

“Actually, no,” she says. “You’d be surprised how popular some of these articles about you have been.”

Now this, I’m taken aback. "Articles? As in more than one?"

"I'm afraid so. The best one is from the New York Ghost , but Witch Weekly's was pretty nice. Does someone have it out for you at The Daily Prophet , by any chance?"

"Probably Rita Skeeter," I grumble. I want to know what they've been saying about me. "Though I'm surprised I was interesting enough for one article, let alone multiple."

"I disagree," she says. "I think what you're doing is very brave. You haven't given up despite all these odds stacked against you. Honestly, I was really excited to meet you when I heard you were coming."

I blush, laughing awkwardly. "I, um, I'm sorry, I definitely had no idea you existed until tonight. Thank you for inviting me to that thing on New Years Eve, even though I can't go. It reminded me of what being normal was like."

"No problem!" she smiles. "I would've been glad to have you. You’re super cool and totally normal.” She winks at me and quietly laughs to herself. “But seriously, you should consider thinking that he might just want to keep you safe, where he can protect you.”

“But I can protect myself ,” I gently protest. “It’s because I’ve been under his ‘care’ that I’ve been vulnerable! He has to realize that.”

Her eyes soften with sympathy. “I think he does, because there was one weekend Jake told me about. He’d just met you and Thomus in Edinburgh and you’d been… assaulted while they’d all just been standing there, unknowing. He said he’d never seen Thomus be that violent before - violent without using magic that is.”

I stare at her eye-wided, enthralled with this story. This change in perspective. 

“And then the next night, there’d been this party Thomus got drunk at and Jake said he could tell something was really bothering him. Apparently, he was really reluctant to talk about it, too.”

I scoff. “I hope he got over himself and opened up so you can share this information with me now.”

“Yeah, so he finally said he blamed himself for being an idiot and not paying better attention. Like, it really hit him that your safety was in his hands.”

I… don’t know what I’m allowed to feel. My heart wants to swoon and my mind wants to roll its eyes. Except, if he’s not as terrible as I thought, am I allowed to hope? 

“I think I remember when he came home,” I admit. “We continued drinking and he asked me how I felt - which was very new for us at the time.”

Diana smiles ruefully. “Does he get points for trying, at least?”

“We’ll see,” I say. “I’m definitely nervous that it could all just be a… fling to him.”

Diana startles me by releasing a loud cackle.

“A fling?!” she bellows, struggling to catch her breath. “Oh honey, you’re delusional.”

“What? No!” I protest. “I’m being realistic.”

“Oh Lady Morgana,” she says, wiping tears from her eyes and standing. “Come on, let’s go inside before my fingers fall off.”

~*~

By the early hours of the morning, I’m utterly exhausted. 

Kyle had changed his mind and decided to tell me his roughly outlined plan. It’s not terrible, but luckily the rough bits still have time to be hammered out. I should have plenty of notice before I have to leave, plenty of time for contingencies.

Thomus is out like a light, still snoring softly, when I return. I try to be as quiet as possible as I strip down to my undies and crawl into the massive four-poster bed with him. 

It must not be massive enough, though, because just me softly rolling into position beneath the covers is enough to rouse a few sleepy words from him.

“Darling?” he rasps and I feel his hands reach for me in the dark.

“Hi,” I whisper. “Sorry I woke you.”

He hums and pulls himself closer, resting his head on my chest. “How did we get back to the cottage?” he says sleepily, curling himself against me.

“We didn’t,” I say, running a hand through his hair and the other over his shoulders. “We’re still at Cliveden.”

“Hm, I don’t remember getting here.”

His tone isn’t setting off any alarm bells. It’s low and gravelly, like he’s not entirely awake yet.  He’s just mindlessly chatting and I just have to be casual.

“Well, you were very drunk,” I say. “You passed out playing Exploding Snap. Jake had to levitate you up here.”

His arm around my waist tightens, pulling me tighter against him. “You didn’t leave.”

I don’t say anything, panic instantly spiking my heart rate, and I hope he’s not awake enough to pay attention.

“You could have, but you didn’t,” he continues. “Not that I’d blame you if you did.”

I stay silent, trying to convince myself that his calm demeanor is because whatever he’s talking about, couldn’t be about the drama of the night. There's no way he was awake enough to hear what we said. 

“No,” I murmur. “I didn’t.”

“What room did he put us in?” he murmurs.

I let out a sudden strained laugh. “You’d never guess.”

~*~

On New Year’s Eve, Thomus leaves again. He says it’s to finish last minute tasks for the Gala and whatnot and I feel… depressed… again. I’m mostly uninterested in eating - I ate a bologna and cheese sandwich for dinner. I’m not in the mood to read, listen to music or watch any movies, but I’ve had The Nanny on all day - just to make the house less quiet.

So I just go to bed at the blessed hour of 8pm. 

I’ve barely been in bed for longer than fifteen minutes when the easily recognizable sound of the Floo roaring to life drifts up the stairs. I’ve sat up by the time Thomus finds me.

“In bed already?” he asks, surprised. “On New Year's Eve?”

I shrug, holding the blanket up to my naked chest. “It’s not the easiest holiday to spend by yourself.”

Thomus sits on the edge of the bed, swiftly leaning in to kiss my cheek. “And I don’t intend for you to, I agree completely.” He jumps up, taking long strides through the bathroom to my room, where I hear him opening the wardrobe. I sigh, scooting to the edge to throw my legs over it. It’s just my luck I was already in bed.

“A little warning might have been nice,” I say when he returns, arm cradling a black hoodie and black leggings. 

He takes one look at me and the next moment he’s tossing my clothes on the bed and crowding into my space. His large hands cradle my head as he braces me for his lips on mine. He leans in and I have to prop my arms behind me so we don’t fall backward. Of course this causes the blanket to fall and his hand swoops down to cup and grope my chest, the attention causing my nipples to harden. 

His kisses take my breath away and my thighs are quick to part for him. His hips slide right into the space provided, grinding his hard-on against me. My kisses slacken because all of my attention goes right to my throbbing clit and I desperately whimper.  

His hips rock against me one more time before he pulls away, both of us breathless. His eyes trail down my body as he speaks. “We don’t have much time,” he says. “I will have to savor you later.”

When he steps completely away from me, I’m left cold, so I quickly slide on the oversized hoodie as he adjusts himself in his pants.

“Savor me?” I ask when I stand, stepping into the pants one leg at a time.

He chuckles, watching me wiggle the waistband up over my hips and stomach. “I thought it was a bit more romantic than fuck.”

Ping . There goes the tiniest fracture in my heart for him. I scramble for something clever or funny to say. 

“I suppose it could’ve been worse,” I say, popping in a British accent for the last word. “You could’ve said shag .”

“Cute,” he smirks.

I follow him downstairs, sliding on my socks before I stop at the door for my sneakers and turn for the fireplace.

He clicks his tongue. “Not that way.”

I narrow my eyes and follow him out the door. He takes me to the spot beyond the fence and touches the tattoo before Apparating us to the Manor. The front gates are open and he swiftly takes hold of my tattoo again to get me over the barrier. 

We walk down the entrance path, under gilded arches and golden fairy lights crossing overhead from the tall hedges. Holding my hand, he pulls me around the building along the back toward a door being held open by an elf.

“Miss,” Remmy says to me in a disinterested greeting and drops his voice to a whisper. “Master Thomus, Mistress expects you in fifteen minutes. Master isn’t even dressed -”

“Don’t worry, Remmy, I will be there,” Thomus reassures them as we pass. “Mums the word about Miss Alder, remember?”

“Yes, yes, Remmy remembers,” the elf dismisses. 

Thomus leads me to his room, making sure to use hallways noticeably absent of chatty portraits. A familiar route because of the many times I'd avoided them myself. The moment we’re in his room, he heads for the bathroom, already stripping. There’s a black robed suit hanging from a hook on the door. 

“Please tell me you're not gonna surprise me with a ball gown, are you?” I ask, hopping up onto the bed and toeing my shoes off. 

“I value my neck, thanks,” he remarks, pulling on first his suit pants, then the black button up shirt. “Would you grab me a pair of cufflinks from the closet?”

“Does it matter which one?” I ask, knowing he's got a variety. 

“No.”

By the time I emerge from the closet, elegant silver M stamped cufflinks in hand, he’s already dressed. He smiles at me as I pass him the tiny pieces of metal. 

“All you have to do is wait for a few hours,” he says, his mood curiously… cheerful? “Go back to sleep if you'd like - just don't leave this room. Only Remmy knows you're here.” 

“Why all the fuss?” I ask, my eyes greedily taking his suited form in. I suppress the desire to pull him close by his silk tie for a kiss. He looks too suave and sophisticated and… way out of my league.

“For the simple reason that I don’t want certain guests to know you’re here,” he explains, stepping into the bathroom once again. I hear him spritz a bottle of something.

“And why is that again?” 

He glides out of the bathroom, passing me by with a quick peck to my cheek. “I’ll see you in a few hours.”

I completely ignore the fact he didn’t answer my question, because I’m way too distracted by his suddenly fragrant cologne. I breathe in lung-fulls of cedar and pine, trying not to swoon in his wake as he pulls out his wand to light the fireplace. 

Then he’s gone, the door audibly locking behind him.

~*~

Well, I definitely try to sleep. Except I wasn’t even tired when I climbed into bed the first time.

First I change into a purple wispy nightgown with a deep vee in the neck that stops at my thighs. Then I change out of it when the frills around the short sleeves become too itchy under the covers, opting instead for a simpler one with long sleeves and a hem that falls around my ankles. 

All this, just to be uncomfortable in every position I try. Nevermind the fact my mind keeps doing laps of worrying, wondering who exactly Thomus doesn’t want to know I’m here. Rodolphus? Bellatrix? Is he dancing and flirting with her while her husband tracks me down this very moment? 

Finally I give up and decide to grab a handful of Thomus’ old Daily Prophets and settle on the cushioned bench in the alcove of one of his windows. I sit sideways on it, my back against the wall with the door in my line of sight. 

I’m about to cast a subtle illumination spell to help my poor eyesight in this dim lighting when movement out the window catches my eye. It’s the curtains billowing out of the open doors to the ball room - or the large drawing room as Narcissa calls it. Golden light spills from windows and the doorway  as the guests' shadows and silhouettes move within. Some are moving swiftly as if dancing while some are mingling. Before I can think better of it, I’m pushing open the French window closest to me.

I hear boisterous laughter and the low hum of chatter, and best of all, music drifts up to me like a leaf in the breeze. It’s the exact kind of music I’d imagine would play at a ball like this, and I can’t help but picture myself down there, in some pretty dress twirling around the room with Thomus.

I sit there, content to listen to the string quartet and people watch. Some come outside for the cool air, others to have a private word alone with each other. 

Hermione is relatively easy to spot. Her black gown is ridiculously puffy around the skirt, but synched skin-tight in the bodice, and even from here I can see the jewels glittering on her chest. I’m surprised to see Draco by her side, dressed head to toe in white. They linger by the door, always surrounded by ladies vying for his attention. I can’t help but notice how his hand slowly caresses her back, almost… lovingly from her waist up to her shoulders and nape when he thinks no one is watching.

Thankfully, I don’t see Bellatrix, but I also don’t see Thomus, either. An inconsequential fact I try not to linger on.

I don’t know how long I sit like that, but eventually Thomus returns, quietly stepping into the room with two empty champagne glasses and a bottle.

“I kinda feel like Cinderella wanting to go to the ball,” I say softly as he approaches. He looks politely puzzled and before he can ask, I explain, “It’s just a No-Maj fairytale.”

“Ah,” he hums. He takes hold of the forgotten newspapers on the other side of the bench and raises an eyebrow.

I feel a blush creep up my throat and try to keep my tone nonchalant. “I… maybe like to read your articles,” I say. “It’s crazy to think we both spent time at The Daily Prophet , but at different times so we never ran into each other.”

I feel like I’m rambling, but how could I not? He looks and smells far too dashing for me to think clearly. 

“It is a bit ironic,” he says, replacing his papers where I’d gotten them from before returning. He takes up the rest of the bench, his back to the window, and places the glasses and bottle on the floor next to him.

“Do you think things might’ve been different if we’d met there instead?” I ask hesitantly, knowing all too well his opinions on ‘what if’s. “Before?”

Thomus sighs heavily and the air puffs out his cheeks. He raises an eyebrow and gives me a sideways look. “Honestly?”

I nod. “Yeah, always.”

“Hm, I think…” his mouth downturns as he speaks, his voice betraying his amusement. “I’d find you the most annoying person on the planet.”

A disbelieving laugh bursts out. “What?!”

He nods, completely solemn. “Oh yeah, always asking questions, always bothering me.”

“Oh no, I’d have to talk to you about our job ,” I say with dramatic sarcasm, trying and failing to keep the smile off my face. “Oh no, what a nightmare.”

Thomus grabs my ankle, lifting my foot so he can shift closer, until my calf rests on his opposite thigh. That hand slides from my ankle all the way up my leg, and I’m disappointed it’s not under my nightgown. “It would have been an absolute nightmare to have you prance into my office every bloody day,” he continues as his fingers meet the crease at my hip and wedge themselves in. Then they keep traveling and grip all the plentiful flesh there. “I’d never be able to get any work done because I’d constantly be thinking about bending you over my desk.”

My eyes run laps over the sharp lines of his face, trying to determine if he’s serious. “Is that so?”

Thomus’ eyes drop to my mouth, his free hand brings his thumb to brush my lower lip. “These would be the worst. With every meddlesome question you ask, I’d only be able to think about how they’d taste.”

I’m holding my breath - my heart thudding, my ears burning. I’m suddenly very unnecessarily conscious of how far my glasses have slipped down my nose, the cool breeze from the window across my chest, and how heavy I’m breathing over his thumb. And for some reason his accent is doing funny things to my insides right now, of all times. 

His voice is low, husky, and oh, so hot. “I’d be thinking about how you’d sound when I touched you. And yes, I say when . I could only endure such torture for so long before I wouldn’t be able to keep my hands off you.”

I snort, a disbelieving smile breaking out under his thumb. “You make me sound like some kind of irresistible vixen.” A chuckle rumbles out of his chest, but I keep going. “Well, I have good news for you - I wouldn’t object to any of that.”

“Is that so?” His hand caresses from my jaw to my neck. 

I bite my lip to control my grin. “Well, yeah. Why do you think I’d be bothering you so much in the first place?”

Thomus lets out a breathy chuckle and sits back, his eyes crinkling in the corners. I can only stare, mesmerized by seeing genuine happiness on his face.

“So,” I say brightly. “Are you enjoying this party you put so much effort into preparing?”

His smile fades. “Not as much as I ought to, I suppose.”

“Oh, why not?” I ask, placing my hand over his one on my neck, feeling along the lines of his knuckles and fingers.

“The people down there…” he starts, eyes gazing out the window, “the only thing I’ve ever been to them is a source for gossip and scandal. And then the few who look past all that see the Malfoy name and nothing else.”

I let that process. “So what you’re saying is you’re a real catch?”

He bursts out laughing, the hand from my hip reaching up to scratch his chin. “Yeah, for those desperate to social climb.”

“So you’re a desperately eligible bachelor ?” I tease with a bit more drama to my tone. “How interesting. All the finest debutantes must be lining up down there, so what ever are you doing up here with me?”

“I’m a little old for debutantes.” He settles toward me into a more relaxing position, pulling his knee up and pressing his calf onto the bench under my thighs. With his face closer to mine now, his softly spoken words are loud and clear. “And besides, your company is vastly preferable over theirs.”

My face floods with heat and I crumble under his direct eye contact. My mouth suddenly feels as dry as the desert while I’m forced to figure out some kind of intelligent reply. “Quite shocking, really,” I say, my voice a whisper until I clear my throat, swallowing down some nerves. “Who wouldn’t want to hang out with the wizarding world’s most crankiest?”

He laughs again. “Are you talking about me or them?”

I’m about to answer, but a dull tapping sound coming from the party draws my attention. The guests are returning inside, tapping their wands against their champagne glasses. 

“Ten minutes to midnight,” Thomus explains. “Lucius and Narcissa are about to make their toast.”

I slip my other hand around the one he has at my neck, both of mine cradling it near my chest as I glance at the clock on his mantle. “I guess that means you have to go?”

“Probably,” he admits slowly. “But I’m here.”

“Hold on, speaking of being here, isn’t Draco supposed to be in Switzerland?” I jut in, my eyes easily finding him and Hermione on the edge of the crowd. 

“He is and Lucius is absolutely furious,” he sighs. “I can’t believe he’d be so foolish.”

“Well, it's obvious, right?” I ask, side-eying him, unsure if this is something I could even talk about. “He’s like, really into Hermione.”

A few moments tick by in silence as I stare at the crowd below. I glance at him to see his eyes had been on me the whole time, his expression pensive. When our eyes meet, he holds them for a moment before his gaze follows his hand as both of his gently hold mine instead. He pulls back my left sleeve, his fingers lightly tracing his name inked on my skin. Then he goes further, tracing the white puckered lines of the scar Bellatrix left me. 

“What’re you thinking about?” I whisper.

His lips curl ruefully. “I’m thinking about how much of a hypocrite I am. I’ve called him foolish when here I am,” he says. “Unable to stay away.”

“From what?” I breathe, feeling stupid the moment I finish. My heart is beating so hard I wonder if he can feel my pulse where he holds my arm.

Thomus’ eyes hold on my arm, avoidant of my own. His voice is soft like he's telling me a secret. “I snuck you in tonight because I couldn’t bear not spending it with you.”

My eyebrows come together and I feel my head shake. “It’s just another year.”

“No,” he says, his eyes flashing up to mine, adamant. “Moments like these are important, to spend with those who are important. That’s why they’re all gathered down there, isn’t it? To go into the New Year praising the Dark Lord’s reign, congratulating themselves for their accomplishments this year.” He looks back down at our hands, at his name. “I know I don’t have much to celebrate in that regard, but I do know that you’re important to me… and frankly I'm tired of pretending otherwise.”

I can only stare at him. Unable to think, unable to breathe . How could he say something like that? 

When I finally have to draw breath after what feels like an eternity, I only get to say his name. “Thomus -”

The loud popping of fireworks bursts from below, along with some cheer that has me turning my gaze away only briefly. I turn back and Thomus’ mouth descends on mine. 

The kiss is full and wonderful, but short. He pulls back inches away to search into my gaze, like he’s asking for permission, like he’s making sure what he just said was okay. 

It was more than okay. It’s exactly what my heart wants to hear, even though my own stubborn insecurities push doubt into my mind. 

I can’t say anything back. I can’t tell him how I feel.

But I can show him.

Our lips meet again in a rush. At least it feels like that to me, like we just can’t bare being apart anymore. I pour my heart and soul into this kiss. My hands find their way into his hair, his caress and grip every part of my body he can reach. 

Soon I’m pushing him back so I can climb onto his lap. He’s pulled up my nightgown and the cool air feels amazing on my bare legs. I’ve got one foot on the floor and the other is bent at the knee, helping control my balance while I’m grinding on him. 

He keeps pulling me to him, my weight rocking into him, and I brace a hand on the wall in the bay window as he falls further back, keeping me upright. His hands slip under my nightgown, roaming my thighs. I adjust my hips, feeling brave enough to put both hands on his chest to steady me. His suit pants can’t hide how hard he is. I try to use that as a reminder he’s genuinely into me. No matter how many times I’m in his lap, it’s still hard to believe he wants me here. 

“How long till you have to go back?” I ask with controlled breaths. 

He growls. “Just fuck me, baby.” His fingers painfully dig into my hips as he pulls me down, undulating his hips against me. “I don’t want to be anywhere else.”

There are things I want to blurt out, simple little words swelling in my chest that threaten to ruin everything. 

But if I confess how I feel, it wouldn’t change anything. I’ll still be his prisoner. His possession.

I don’t wanna be an object. I long to be more .

My hands slide up his chest to meet at his neckline, shoving my fingers into the knot on his tie. I don’t bother pulling it all the way off before I go at his buttons, not stopping until his muscled chest and abdomen are revealed. My hips rock, rubbing my pussy over his cock straining to be let free. 

Then I jump up, standing to shimmy my undies to the floor. Thomus sits up and shrugs off his suit jacket, pulling off his tie completely. I pause, waiting to return to my seat, but then he looks at me, his eyes raking me up and down. 

“I want that off,” he says, referring to the only article of clothing I have left. 

I struggle not to make a face, because I still have a hard time being completely naked in front of him. If we were in bed, that would be different. This just feels too exposed.

I grip the material around my hips and step toward him. “Take it off for me?” I ask.

Lust-filled eyes lock on mine and his hands go to my thighs, sliding them up my sides, taking the gown with them. I raise my arms to help him pull it off the rest of the way and a blast of cool air from the window makes goosebumps rise all over me. It sends a shiver through my body and my nipples harden.

When my arms are free, I step even closer and cup his face, pressing my lips to his. I kiss him softly, from one corner of his mouth to the other. While I distract his mouth with sweet kisses, one hand takes off my glasses and the other goes to his belt.

Of course, I can only use one brain cell at a time, so my mouth becomes distracted when I struggle with undoing his belt. I just pull my mouth away all together so I can get a visual on my hands. I glance up at Thomus’ face to find his heated gaze focused on mine. 

“Sorry,” I mutter, looking down at the matter at hand. “Not very sexy, I know.”

“Oh, on the contrary,” he says and inhales sharply when my hands finally wrap around his swollen cock. My palms glide up and down gently before giving it a firm squeeze. My thumb circles his head, spreading a bead of pre-cum, and he leans forward, lips and tongue tracing a path from my neck to my breasts. One of his big hands cups my breast and when he immediately bites down on my nipple, I gasp and whimper. His tongue soothes away the pain, swirling around the stiff peak. 

His other hand slides down my thigh, fingers feeling the dimples and divots until they hook behind my knee. My hands go to his shoulders for balance as he lifts my foot until it’s on the bench. His fingers quickly glide back up my thigh, this time underneath it to where it’s most sensitive and softest. 

Thomus’ lips release my nipple and he pulls back enough to see my face. “I think you’re very sexy,” he murmurs. “From this pretty little pussy of yours” - his fingers glide through my folds, teasingly spreading the slipperiness from the center to my clit - “to those lips I just can’t seem to get enough of.”

His thumb presses in on my clit and my train of thought struggles to stay on track. “You’re pretty hot too,” I say breathily. “You’ve got these shoulders and thighs and hands that just -” My words are cut off by a moan when he slips two fingers inside me.

“That just what?” he teases, unmistakably smug. 

It takes me a moment to answer because his thumb in combination with his fingers curling against my g-spot have my hips rocking and my brain turning to mush. My breaths come in short pants and my eyes are pinched closed, focused on riding the pleasurable waves his fingers are orchestrating. 

“Concentrate, darling,” he presses. “Answer me.”

“Hands,” I gasp, my fingers digging into his shoulders, “hands that do terrible… awful things to me.”

His fingers turn aggressive, pressing harder and rhythmic as he hums in approval. “That’s a good girl.”

His lips return to my nipple and that pushes me past the point of no return. A stream of curses and Thomus’ name tumble from my mouth. My toes curl and my body goes stiff as my orgasm washes over me. Thomus slows his long fingers, but still presses in hard on my g-spot as my pussy pulses around him.

When I can finally breathe again, I push at Thomus’ shoulders and he leans back, bringing his drenched digits up to his mouth. He groans at my taste and resituates himself on the bench, pushing his pants and briefs past his thighs. I’m still dazed from my orgasm when Thomus pulls me on top of him. He holds his cock at the base and guides me until he’s sliding home, deep inside my pussy. 

“Oh fuck,” I moan, my eyes closing. This position never fails to put him as deep inside as possible, and if I really sit on his lap, he’s hitting my cervix. But that would be painful, so instead I move my hips around slowly, figuring out what angle works best and won’t kill my thighs. One particular move makes him groan and my eyes flutter open to find his locked intently on me, watching my body move. I definitely found the right one.

I start to go a little faster, a little harder. I have a hand on a window pane and the other grasping his shoulder to stabilize me. My thighs are burning, but the pain isn’t enough to make me stop. He’s inside me, and I love being connected like this. What I feel for him never feels more real than it does in moments like this. When I can’t be in denial.

With the increasing intensity of my hips, little whimpers start to tumble from my mouth alongside my panting. My bottom lip is nailed between my teeth and as I can feel my orgasm hurtling towards me, fuck is the only word coming out of my mouth. 

Whenever he feels they could use more attention, his hands never fail to stray to my breasts. Supporting them as they bounce and sway, leaning forward to kiss and nibble at my nipples. 

“So fucking beautiful,” I hear him grind out above the steady and erotic sound of our bodies joining. 

My orgasm is close - so, so close. I’m starting to go crazed, desperate to cum again. Thomus is, too. I can hear it in his voice as he groans.

“Baby, I need you to cum on me.” His voice is strained like he’s in utter agony. 

I let out a frustrated whimper as I pause to grind on his lap, hoping for an angle that hits my clit. 

“I need - can you - ?” I gasp out. 

I don’t even have to finish my sentence before his fingers wiggle in under my belly. My pussy’s so slippery, the pads of his fingers find the hood of my clit and press in, rubbing it in circles. My hips jerk, bouncing up and down on his cock, continuing even as my orgasm finally crashes over my body. I throw my head back as my back arches. His body stiffens below me as he cums, groaning out his pleasure.

“Beautiful darling, well done,” he pants with praise after we both have a chance to breathe, his voice shaking. “I lov-”

Thomus is abruptly cut off by loud banging on his door.

We both jump like we’ve been hit. There’s a moment where our eyes meet and I see panic cross his face just as it does on mine. 

“Thomus!” a familiar man’s voice calls from beyond the door. 

Thomus blinks, his expression hardening. He brings a finger up to his lips, warning me to be quiet. “Closet,” he whispers. “Go. Now.”

Nodding, my legs are like jelly as I push myself off of him. He’s hastily throwing on his suit as I bend to scoop up my nightgown and undies. I dash for the closet. It’s dark enough I can just hide behind the open door. Instead of the nightgown though, I opt for my pants and hoodie. Plus a pair of Thomus’ socks while I’m at it because mine are lost in the sheets somewhere.

While I’m desperately dressing, the man at the door calls for Thomus again. “Where have you been, Thomus? I’ve been sent to fetch your ungrateful ass.”

I squeeze behind the closet door to peek through the crack between the hinges just as Thomus strides to the door. He’s fully dressed and smoothing back his hair with his fingers. He pauses to take a deep breath before opening the door. 

It’s Rodolphus. 

“What do you want,” Thomus demands, sounding amazingly composed.

Rodolphus leans a hand on the doorframe. “You missed your brother’s toast,” he says, a mocking lilt to his tone. His hair is disheveled, the tie to his tux hangs loose around his neck. “How could you have missed this moment to show support for the Dark Lord? Your family? ”

“I don’t answer to you,” Thomus says. He keeps his back straight and his chin up.

Rodolphus puts a finger to his chin, tapping it. “And then I remembered a few other times you’ve mysteriously disappeared from similar events,” Rodolphus continues before abruptly shoving past Thomus into the room. Thomus tries grabbing his coat tails, but he somehow avoids him.

Rodolphus stops in the middle of the room, eyeing it while slowly turning back to Thomus. He inhales heavily through his nose and steps back towards the window with the bench. “A moment ago, I was convinced you were up here fucking my wife,” he says casually. He reaches for something on it and my anxiety explodes in my chest the moment I see him pick up my glasses. “Of course, I was only half-right. This room reeks of sex, but my wife has never hid.”

Rodolphus drops my glasses and stomps on them with his shoe, crushing my lenses under his sole. The glass crunches as he turns, backing up towards the closet. Thomus watches him with furious eyes. His hands are empty, but I know in the blink of an eye he’d have his wand.

“I’m surprised you can still get it up for her since her… accident ,” Rodolphus taunts. “She’s utterly repulsing if you ask me.”

“I didn’t,” Thomus bites.

He’s so close to the closet. My fingers feel for anything on the shelf behind me and immediately feel the unmistakable smooth metal of Thomus’ shoehorn, the very one I tried to pummel him with. 

Maybe New Year’s Eve kisses are good luck.

I raise it over my head as he steps to the doorway.

“Your silence is very telling,” Rodolphus chuckles as he slowly steps into the closet. I hear his footsteps on the wood floor as he disappears on the other side of the door.

I’ve shoved my anxiety down enough so I don’t panic as he reappears, wand scanning the room.

Just as he turns to me, I transfigure the shoehorn into a dagger, and hold it up to his throat.

[lunevei]

helloo! volt here again to send u some emojis from the misceverse ask game & ask u some more misceverse questions if u don't mind :33

first; 💕, 👾, 😶‍🌫️, 🎆, 🍼, 🦋 (that much cuz i'd love to hear u yap abt urself !!)

second; u were talking about your heat, but i was thinking like "humans don't have the hormones to do that... right?" and now i'm a little confused, are you pretending to have a heat? or do yo u do some specific things or what do you ... do ? sorry if this seem ignorant or hard to understand or something, i just really wanna understand bc i idon't get it but idk how to convey my question.

(man- english can be hard sometimes)

— @r4inbowv0lt

hellooo! please don’t worry at all, i know it can be confusing bc it’s different for everyone— like, my way of being an omega might not look the same as someone else’s and that’s okay! i’ll answer the game questions first and then get into the biology/personal idenity section ;3

💕 ; do you have a mate(s)? if so, what’s your mate’s dynamic and scent? yes, i do have a mate! we’ve been together for three years, and bonded for probably two and a half of them. (if you want me to go into bonding i can!!) he’s a beta and his scent is mint and chocolate (sooo yummy hehe)

👾 ; do you have any friends who are misce? i mean, not really? nobody i’d really call friend rn (more like acquaintance!!) online, and defo nobody irl ;( hoping to make some here tho!! :33

be warned, u said i could yap so i have hehe!! but i put it under the cut to keep it short for everyone else <3

😶‍🌫️ ; are you open to being misce in real life? or do you prefer to keep your misce identity online? as of rn, definitely online. i don’t really act much differently online as i do irl, like i think that as a person i have (as cringe as this sounds) a very ‘stereotypical omega’ personality in that i’m pretty submissive and have people pleasing tendencies. but i don’t use misce terminology outside of the internet and my house :,)

🎆 ; what would you like to see more of in the misce community? weeeell i haven’t really been in it for very long, but i would love to just see more of everyone! like this has been such a great experience for me so far and i want to share that with ppl who are similar :33

🍼 ; do you regress? does being misce influence your regression? um i’m not sure! i’m still exploring regression, but i think i’m mostly just a very needy submissive rather than a regressor. like, my mate does take on a caregiving role and i am kinda helpless when i’m subbed out, but i’m not really sure you’d count that as regression as i know it’s not sexual for most people!! i tend to think of it more as being really in my omega (if that makes literally any sense??) rather than regressing!

🦋 ; do you have any misce needs/urges? hehehe yes absolutely! i love to nest, and my whole apartment is cozy to the max bc it’s basically one big nest. i love my friends and my mate, and i love to nurture the bonds between us (although i wouldn’t say we’re a pack, i still love them all). i think that a lot of my mannerisms are pretty misce omega, and as i’m about to go into in a lot more details, i have a fairly regular heat cycle. tbh i feel like there’s so much more to that answer that i’m not saying (bc u’re right, english is hard), but that’s all i can think of off the top of my head! :33

okay!! now onto my personal misceverse (this might all be so tmi but i have no fear and unlimited characters)

so i’m afab, and i have a pretty regular human horomone/menstruale cycle. in the human horomone cycle, similar to cycles in misceverse/omegaverse, there’s a phase called ‘ovulation’ that lasts about a week and is when a person is most fertile. irl the person would get kinda horny (usually, it’s different for everyone) bc their body is prepping them for, ya know, procreation.

in omegaverse, this is turned up to the max. if u look at literally any omegaverse content you’ll see right away that it’s hornier than horny. like, week long sex fest horny. debilitatingly insatiable sex drive that leaves u house bound for days horny.

soooo, that’s kinda what it’s like for me. i’ve always been a very hormonal person anyway, and i’m also neurodivergent and i think (can’t confirm) that it makes me extra sensitive to, like, everything, including my horomones. heats for me are just (kinda painful) super horny times where i’m very easily overwhelmed and need the isolation of my home, my nest, until it ends and my horomones settle again. this is defo tmi but sometimes my mate (who is the love of my life and also a beta) can’t keep up with the omega-in-heat energy and has to tap out, and we’ve jokingly talked about opening up our relationship just for heats :,)

in terms of horomones/pheromones (which are a huge part of misce/omegaverse), humans irl actually do have pheromones that attract potential partners, and they are stronger during ovulation. in omegaverse, this is much much more obvious, given that everyone has a signiture scent in a way that humans outside of misceverse/omegaverse don’t! but yeah they are a real thing, and i use a lot of perfume/scented moistures/oils daily to enchance mine. my mate always say i sell delicous so i must be doing smth right hehehe ;3

OMG okay i have no idea if u’re still reading (i don’t blame u if u arent!!), but i hope that all makes sense ! truly, my yapping abilities know no bounds. anyway, i hope that was at least a little bit interesting and if u have any more questions pls ask!! <33

[niemernuet]

tmi alert but last night i had the most first-world spinster problem of all times. somehow i persevered though, and i also had an idea for a little oneshot.

rating: E pairing: Camille Rast/Lara Gut-Behrami length: 1'100 words content: pwp

"Fiche-moi…merde! Bien sûr ça arrive à moi! Putain alors!"

In white-hot anger, Camille threw the piece of plastic across the room, though she paused in shock when it slammed against the wall with a heavy bang. For a second she listened unmoving but luckily, nobody in the big house stirred. Cursing softly under her breath she climbed out of the toasty, comfortable bed, and hurried across the room, her anger starting to simmer again, and when she heard the sharp rap at her door, she could not hold back.

"What now?", she sighed, and picked up the toy from the floor. She was already halfway into her beloved bed again when the door was finally wide enough for Lara to peek through. She mustered Camille wordlessly, and Camille, her rotten mood getting worse by the second, could not hold back.

"Do you need something else?" she snapped impatiently. "My hair tie? My shoes?"

Lara had very little patience at the best of times but Camille was not fazed by her cold look, not tonight. As always with Lara, her mind was racing at the speed of light through the perceived hidden meanings and slights in Camille’s words, and arrived at a conclusion that, for others, might have seemed like a non sequitur.

“I never asked for your charger. All I said was that mine broke, and you offered yours.”

“I know!” Camille whisper-howled, annoyed by the fact that she only had herself to blame for her predicament.

“But okay, I’ll go fetch it…”

"I don't need it now!" Camille exclaimed, and with an annoyed huff sank fully into her bed and under the cover. "It's too bloody late."

Lara frowned at her, and again paused for a moment. “Is it your earphones? You can have mine…”

“No, it’s not earphones,” Camille huffed, and turned on her back. “Just…I’d like to sleep now. Please.” With the only light from her nightstand she could barely see the ceiling above. She waited for the soft click of the door but it did not come. Instead, Lara snorted.

Camille turned her head to the door. Lara was not looking at her but at a spot a bit below her, on the bed. Poking out from under the cover, to be exact.

Hastily, Camille moved the blanket over the toy but it was too late. The embarrassment almost brought her cheeks to a boil as she heard Lara’s soft laughter.

“Seriously?”

Camille opened her mouth but whatever she wanted to say got stuck in her throat when she saw Lara step over the threshold, and close the door in her back.

“You have ten healthy fingers, don’t you?” she asked as she crossed the room, and slowly sank down on the edge of the bed.

“It’s not the same!” Camille protested, half her face hidden under the blanket, fully aware that her voice was barely more than a squeak. “It’s like being promised a freshly prepared pair of skis and receiving two old planks of wood.”

Lara’s gaze, even though she was quite close to the light, was unreadable. Her hand pulling the blanket away from Camille though was very easy to understand.

“Sounds like a skill-issue to me,” she whispered.

Camille held her breath as Lara’s hand slipped under the rubber band of her pyjama pants. For the fraction of a second she regretted that she had not shaved before coming to Lienz, then the hand slipped between her crack, and pulled out her breath in a longwinded sigh.

“Merde…” she whispered as her legs spread apart without her doing. Down below, underneath her pants, Lara’s fingers slid between her labia, pulling the soft skin apart until she reached the source of Camille’s wetness that was still there from her first attempt before the battery of her toy had given out. For a second one finger wandered inside her hole, and Camille forgot how to breathe again. Lara had no intention to stay there though, and began to rub the almost embarrassing amounts of slick running out of Camille all along her pussy, right up until…

“Fuck!” Camille moaned, and bit down on her hand as a wet finger swiped over her clit.

It took all her willpower to open her eyes again, and force fresh air into her lungs. Lara was smiling down at her, and the sudden surge of irritation brought some of Camille’s senses back.

“Easy for you to laugh,” she panted. “You don’t know what it’s like for us. You and your private team can just waltz wherever. This is my first single room in like a year!”

The finger between her legs moved down again. Lara chuckled as she languidly rubbed more of Camille’s cum all over her pussy.

“Maybe you should ask your roomie more often. It’s Mél, right?”

“We’re not that kind of friendssss…ssshi…” Camille answered before her head sank deep into the pillow and her legs moved up at the knees as if pulled by invisible strings.

“That explains so much,” Lara muttered.

Camille could not answer anymore, her whole body rocked by surges and surges of lust as Lara’s thumb stroked over her fat, swollen clit in earnest now, down the sides and up across the shaft. She swore, unintelligible curses hissed in every language she knew, her breath coming harder and harder, her whole body getting tense while her pussy exploded underneath Lara’s fingers.

Camille’s back arched high when she came, every limb becoming stiff as the waves of the orgasm washed over her. Lara knew better than to stop, and followed Camille’s clit as it retreated into her body, pulling every last breath out Camille with the pressure of her thumb, the firm circles stroked across the soft skin.

The end came abrupt, the change from maddening excitement to overstimulation changing like the switch of a light. Something between a whimper and a sigh escaped Camille’ lips as she pushed her legs together. Lara pulled her hand out from under her pants, and inspected her soaked fingers in the shine of the night lamp. She grabbed a packet of tissue from the small table next to the bed while Camille still fought for breath. When she had wiped her hand, she stood up, and walked over to the trash can.

“Do you…also need a hand?”

Camille almost laughed at herself for blushing once more. Lara stopped at the door, and turned around.

She shrugged. “No, my vibrator’s fully charged.”

Camille laughed as she sank back into her pillow. “Bitch.”

The door was half-closed when Lara poked her head inside the room one last time. “Ask me again tomorrow.”

[fy-wonwoo]

[eng trans] seventeen for vivi mag japan – wonwoo

TMI interview (©)

q: if you were to choose a punishment game, what would you choose? a. extremely spicy food b. bungee jumping c. haunted house ww: for me, i think all three would be fun. so i don’t think it’ll be a punishment game.

q: what do you concern yourself with the most clothing, eating/food and living space? ww: for me, i think it’s the interior (of my living space). if it isn’t stable or comfortable, it affects my performance negatively.

q: what’s a hobby you love nowadays? ww: on youtube, i watch videos of games, fashion and cats.

—ฅ/ᐠ. ̫ .ᐟ\ฅ —

ww: even though i’m in charge of rapping in seventeen, i can also write lyrics, i’m good at singing and dancing, and i can also play the guitar. the thought of “i can do anything” may be my biggest weapon (laughs). however, i am not complete/perfect as i am now, and i believe i can continue to become cooler moving on. because i’m less talktive compared to my members, it’s easy for me to come off as cool/indifferent, but i am actually someone who loves working and positively enjoys every passing day. a major reason why i can be stable mentally is that through writing lyrics, not only can i express my posivity, but i can also outboot feelings of frustration and stress into words. if you look at the notes (regarding lyrics), it’s fun to search for the right execution and expression fit for seventeen. i have 12 friends giving me all kind of inspiration everyday, so i don’t find myself getting sick of it. everyday is sincerely exciting and fun. even though we were able to focus on the work right in front of me. i only have thoughts of wanting to succed in all of the rojets we have set in japan. during our stay, i hope we earn more fans. (©)

—ฅ/ᐠ. ̫ .ᐟ\ฅ —

"during the light testing, wonwoo & mingyu showed off perfect poses that almost had the onsite staff to the point of screaming & cheering. the photo booth styled cut-and-paste photos were made of poses that came from their interactions, presenting us with the best collaboration."  (©)

—ฅ/ᐠ. ̫ .ᐟ\ฅ —

wonwoo & mingyu interview  (©)

wonwoo to mingyu: “thank you for your love that doesn’t make me feel lonely”

ww: my relationship with mingyu is very good mg: (it’s) because we usually have a lot of conversations between the two of us

ww: when i go to the bathroom after practice, mingyu waits for me until im done. mg: ah embarrassing! that’s a secret! (laughs) ww: he’s a reliable presence that reassures me just by being together. im always grateful. mg: i’d say the same thing back to you. really, thank you always.

mg: even when i’m busy and exhausted from work, i receive a lot of positive energy from (gentle) wonwoo it’s like the feeling of “thank you for your existence.” ww: i’m of the same mind as well.

mg: we’re living together, and wonwoo cooks for us sometimes, so it saves us the trouble of ordering food, which is nice. the ramen he makes is really good. ww: [the food] is not at a level that you can consider it cooking. (laughs)

—ฅ/ᐠ. ̫ .ᐟ\ฅ —

wonwoo questionnaire  (©)

q: if you could take one person to a dessert island, who would it be? a: jeonghan

q: a member that you want to style from head to toe? a: jun

q: on the contrary, a member that you want to ask for styling? a: joshua

q: if you lived as someone else for a day? a: vernon

q: a member you want to travel with? a: dk

q: a member that likes children the most? a: seungkwan

q: who do you want to go on a drive with? a: vernon

q: a person who answers kakaotalk the slowest? a: woozi

q: a member who is the most sensitive to trends? a: the8

—ฅ/ᐠ. ̫ .ᐟ\ฅ —

“talking about our team” interview cut (©)

seventeen’s charms stand out in live performances, what do you care about the most during live (stages)? ww: i am also the same way (as minghao). the concept of the song and the appeal of the lyrics are the most important thing. your face shouldn’t be happy during a sad song, your face shouldn’t be sad during a happy song. letting go of distractions and focusing on the performance is the most important thing.

what is the point of focus for this live (performance)? ww: of course it’s hoping that the (1st japanese ep) DREAM gets attention. the dome tour is a dream to us. i’d like to perform with (feelings of) appreciation and love for carats whoo helped us achieve this dream.

what role do you play when the other members are making decisions within the group? ww: i’m usually a listener. the discussion rarely veers in direction completely different from my own. in the case of disagreements, we go with the majority. this is the fairest approach. in the end, wether or not your opinion is accepted, there won’t be any hard feelings.

when do you feel like having 13 members is great? ww: when we’re on vacation, those who enjoy exercising can go to the gym together, those who want to go to a cafe can go to a cafe together, and there are some who go watch a sports march together. it is because we have so many members that no matter who you’re with, there’s someone with a common interest.

[forjongseong]

*knocking* since it’s written there

lol me reading something about studying as soon as i finished my exams🤡🤡. and it’s a studying for stupid IETLS. it’s not a studying it’s more a (stu)dying. hate everything that starts with sty- and ends with -dying.

so why heeseung getting the same score as before seems so funny to me??? and his excuse “i’d have gotten less without you”🙄. hope these tutoring sessions really helped him and he doesn’t have any problems during his study abroad. jake hoon hi🤭

okay okay okay that little interaction between y/n and the waitress!!! please tell me why do the waiters always want to pick up the dirty dishes right after i eat the last bite? they’re hunters with hawk eyes sometimes. what if i want to sit around dirty dishes a little longer mhm??

and student! jay being late reminded me of sec! rookie jay🥹 despite the fact that he came late he definitely called the impression. what an impression!! y/n was lowkey panicking admiring his handsomeness.girl same. we understand her cause look at him!! he doesn't have to do anything and i drool over him. tmi. a majestic black cat. jay’s never beating the black cat allegations fr.

him wanting a higher score than heeseung it’s just a boy moment. yk like boys comparing their dick sizes or number of hookups. boys🙄

AND WDYM WRTING ESSAY THE WAY JAY DOES IS WRONG????😟😟 i do it the same way??? for whole my life??? bro you should’ve written this fic a long time ago so maybe now my essay writing skills were at an all time high hdhdhd.

why was she surprised when he called the students stupid? if they don't listen to tutor who they paid money to who are they if not dumbasses?🤡 jay speaking facts right there.

y/n can’t stay mad at him for being late? simp behavior! him inviting her over to his house? act of a predator i think. nah forget it!! he just too cute with his nervous rumbling. like a virgin 🤭

EVERYONE PLEASE RISE FOR JAY IN RIMLESS GLASSES.🧎‍♂️🧎‍♂️MAN LOOKS WAY TOO GOOD IN THEM. and without them too.

false and not-given questions!!!! bro i hate it with all my heart and soul. always confuse me. jay and me in the same boat. we’re besties😎. just listen i can totally see with my eyes that needed information isn’t written in a question but what if i’m THAT stupid and i just didn’t comprehend it?? this type of questions is like “choose a correct answer: 1) a+a=2a; 2)a+a=a^2; 3)a+a=a”. fuck them.

“If I get the answer right,” he began, “would you show me your boobs?” OKAY I GET IT YOU’RE BOLD BRAVE DARING. “Alright, why not? Nothing to lose here,” NOT OKAY GAHSGSG. she should’ve not fallen for it. i honestly didn’t expect her to say that. i thought she’d react like a responsible tutor with “are you out of your mind? are those questions that hard to answer? i can explain it to you again” and laugh it out. but she’s wild and we love it.

NAUR JAY YOU PUSSY😭😭😭 YOU DARED NOONA TO SHOW YOU BOOBS YET YOU CHICKENED OUT NAUR DON’T BE LIKE THAT. AND NOOO CONSTRUCTION WORKER PLEASE READ THE ROOM. he surely doesn’t have a nunchi (plz get this joke🙏).

“I meant like, I think I could get motivated a lot if there was a reward waiting if I get a question right. Or if I reach a certain score in a mock test, don’t you think?” sure sure let’s see where your little game takes you. sorry it reminded me of dog that waits for the treat after completing the trick🤡

“Well, you’d probably be getting in between something.”…and you brought your hand to your thigh, patting it. STOP THE MADNESS RIGHT THERE. I CANT HANDLE IT.

*clearing my throat* *cough cough* usually 7.5 rounds off to 8 so Jay could receive a blowjob hahah. the makeout🤌🤌🤌 please kissing licking sucking jays birthmark😫😫 that’s all we want. is that too much to ask?

“Seamless,” he commented as he eyed your panties. would be cute if it was polka dots or striped panties🤭.

so jay is that of boyfriend who prioritizes his partners pleasure over his own? huh? and his fingers?? the way they curl??? he plays the guitar doesn’t he?? you have be good with fingers for that no?? once chance jay one chance im begging.

“It’s unfair,” Jay began, “the way you taste as good as you smell.” sir it’s unfair the way you look hot as you sit as you breath as you walk as you exist. you shouldn’t talk about the unfairness in this situation.

“In that case,” you said, pushing his chest slightly so he could move away from you. You tugged down your panties that had stayed on the whole time, and when you took them off your ankles you handed them to Jay. ughhhhhhghgg i just know he was jerking off holding panties with one hand right under his nose. like 🤤🤤

okay where the angst came from???😃😃 “I appreciate what you’ve been doing for me, but I also don’t want you to get the wrong idea.” the audacity. HAGAGAGAGAG BOY YOU FUNNY. made my giggle at night.

“If I get over 7.5—”“I’ll treat you to lunch.” what it's like to get the same thing in return? pleasant right? nice jay. good job. and you tell me he’s the top student in class? bro is stupider than these students who didn’t listen to y/n’s advices in the first part of fic. even though he get 8.5 he still stupid.

“The day of our last meeting when I said I needed to remain focused. I was trying to confess to you.” see!! who confesses like this??? only stupid boys. i get it. jay is just a book smart. what if before y/n noona he only saw human body in med books😱😱 he’s nerd after all.

“When I said if I get more than 7.5, I was going to say I wanted to eat you out.” top5 phrases to ruin the mood.

why he’s teasing her!?!?! why he’s teasing us?!/!/! please just fuck her already with your huge and thick and beautiful (i just know it) dick!!

“Tell me if it’s okay to move,” he whispered ever so gently before kissing your nose. but a point to him waiting till yn adjusts.🥹

Your hand was looking a little lonely, so he took it and intertwined his fingers with yours. fhfghfg “your hand looks heavy. can i hold it for you?”🤓

“So, what are we?” You asked in the most straightforward manner. TOP1 PHRASE TO RUIN THE MOOD.

GIRL I REREAD THE REWARD FOR THE THIRD TIME AND ITS 6 AM I DIDNT GET ANY SLEEP IM OVERWHELMED BYE

I read this review three times already and it's hilarious every time omg not you DRAGGING jay and literally calling him book smart, brave and a pussy in the same sentence, stupid and smart in the same sentence I AM CACKLING

glad you think it's wild because that means I achieved something... this is still by far my favorite one shot i have ever written for jay!

[dietcokedemise]

confessions of a junkorexic

june 2, 2023 | entry #9

TODAY WAS A GOOD DAY! god it feels so good to say that. not only did i manage to complete 10k steps today (for the first time in literal months) but i even went over 10k steps and finished my day with a solid 11,040 steps total! i spent my afternoon at an amusement park today so i can mainly accredit this achievement to that, but a win is a win nonetheless! it honestly didn’t even feel that laboring?? there were times where we’d sit down for a few minutes to take a break and the occasional long line waiting where i would just stand still for an extended period of time, but even then i didn’t feel any real pain. this is a regular experience for most people with an active life i’m sure, but since i’m an overweight hobbit who spends 99% of her free time cooped up in her room hiding from the world this is a pretty big deal for me 😭

i even fasted to! …the reason why i even decided to do an extended fast in the first place was because i binged yesterday and it got bad. i inhaled close to 3k cals yesterday and immediately felt like shit. see i initially planned to do a 24hr fast yesterday because i had overate the day before, but little did i know that that overeating stint would have triggered a full blown binge the next day ☹️ all because my mom wanted me to pick up a pizza for her. of course she offered to get me one as well and i greedily accepted because i’m pathetic and food is my #1 weakness. it’s not my mom’s fault, i could have easily said no and she normally is really good about navigating my food addiction and acknowledges when i’m trying to exercise self control. she was just being nice, as we often do for each other, but i shouldn’t have taken her up on her offer. i should have let her place the order so i wouldn’t have even had the opportunity to pick something up for myself. i could have just walked in, grabbed her order, came home and gave it to her, and scurry back to my room to complete my fast far far away from food. but i didn’t. i walked in, grabbed our order, came home and gave her her pizza, scurried back to my room with my own pizza in tow, and inhaled it like i hadn’t eaten in a YEAR (it had only been 12 hrs since my last meal 👁️). granted it was only one of those personal pan sized pizzas, but it was still over, like, 900 cals!!! in one mini pizza that consisted of four miniature slices!!!!! it was delicious, but definitely not worth what ensued after. i ended up scarfing down a bucket of popcorn, two pb&j sandwiches, a serving of pepperoni slices, a few croutons, bacon bit salad toppings (wtf????), and finished the night off with a big ass plate of chicken nuggets and chick-fil- sauce…and that was only in the span of three hours! i went to sleep feeling heavier than a house made out of bricks.

⚠️ super gross tmi warning ⚠️ what makes it even worse is that i had taken like, three lax tablets and two stool softeners the night before. so not only was i shoveling shit down my throat, but i was simultaneously shoveling shit out of my ass too! (tmi i know 😳 i sincerely apologize that your eyes had to behold that monstrosity of a sentence) not to mention that it was one of the most excruciatingly painful lax experiences i’ve ever even had because i hadn’t taken a shit in damn near an entire week.

fast forward to today as i attempted to right my wrongs by fasting and feverishly walking around an amusement park for hours. the mission was completed…partially. what was supposed to be a 24hr fast ended up just being a 20hr fast after i came home and sat down for a few hours. i didn’t take my appetite suppressant today (did i mention that i take appetite suppressants???) since i figured i’d be out most of the day and i typically don’t get hungry when i’m busy/distracted, but my appetite returned with a vengeance soon after. the fast may not have been as long as i originally intended, but i’m still content nonetheless. the whole 10k steps achievement really softened the blow—not to mention that i broke my fast with a salad and a serving of broccoli too, so i feel pretty good about my decision overall tbh. small steps i suppose.

normal, healthy, and fully functioning human beings don’t have to worry about this kind of stuff, and i envy them. i wish this wasn’t my reality. i wish that i could have a normal, healthy relationship with food. i wish that i didn’t get excited about reaching 10k steps in a day, and that instead it would just be a normal everyday thing. i wish, i wish, i wish…i wish that genies were real 😪

———————————————————————

food log

breakfast

N/A (0 cals)

lunch

N/A (0 cals)

dinner

homemade southwest salad (526 cals)

“loaded” broccoli (190 cals)

water + sugar free drink mix (5 cals)

snack(s)

water + sugar free drink mix (5 cals)

homemade iced matcha latte (120 cals)

two slices of artisan brioche bread (220 cals)

total cal intake

1,066 cals

———————————————————————

daily stats

cw

201 lbs (91.2 kgs) [5/24/23]

bmi

38

steps

11,040

hrs fasted

20

days binge free

1

mood

👣☺️💕🥗🥦

[horizon-verizon]

Tagged by @la-pheacienne, thank you!

What book are you currently reading? The Count of Mounte Cristo

What's your favorite movie you saw in theaters this year? Didn't go out to see any movies yet, so none

What do you usually wear? Sweaters, leggings, boots/flats, and sweater dresses. When it gets warm, Tshirts, overalls, sweatpants. Unless I can barely feel them, I don't like to wear form fitting clothes. And they tend to be dark colors. Except the random white Tshirt.

How tall are you? 5 feet, 7 inches (170.2 cm).

What is your Star sign? Do you share a birthday with a celebrity or a historical event? Taurus, and not that I know of.

Do you go by your name or your nickname? My full name, which I very much like and put too much pride in.

Did you grow up to become what you wanted to be when you were a child? No, and I didn't know what I wanted either until I was around 13. Which was to be a writer.

Are you in a relationship? If not, who is your crush if you have one? Very, very single. No crushes. Unless it's on fictional character/celebrity Daemon/Matt Smith. I tend to go for unconventionally attractive men. Or people might say are "ugly" to "ugly-captivating".

What's something you're good at versus something you're bad at? I don't have anything that I am particularly good at. Maybe multitasking? I am bad at chess.

Dogs or cats? Dogs. Cats are cute, too, but dogs have my heart.

If you draw/write, or create in any way, what's your favorite picture/favorite line/favorite etc from something you created this year? I don't create anymore. Used to draw. My favorite subjects were women and supernatural, classy creatures. (Just in case the TMI was welcome)

What's something you'd like to create content for? Nothing at this moment.

What's something you're currently obsessed with? Daemyra, Matt Smith...and quietly imagining a society similar to GRRM's with a ruling, incestuous dragonriding family (this time in a society where only the ruler could have an official spouse (who is their oldest sibling) and a hierarchy of concubines who can give birth to trueborns but those kids will always be behind the living ones by the official spouse [that will change and reform in structure, candidacy, and levels over the family's rule] that only the ruler can have; each major clan/house having very distinct, cultural practices [but no concubines who could be the parent of the "trueborn"'s trueborn child for them by doctrine, just lovers] since the ruling dragonriders have only just conquered them 3 generations ago); and primogeniture).

What’s something that you were excited about that turned out disappointing this year? If this was 2022, I’d say HotD, but otherwise nothing. The Last of Us is turning out wonderfully.

What's a hidden talent of yours? None.

Are you religious? More spiritual than religious, but with every year I lose the sense for it.

What's something you wish to have at this moment? The ability to consume food and not develop diabetes or other serious health problems.

Tagging @darklinaforever.

[numbernninemickey]

i’m deadass so depressed it’s actually crazy.

i’ll preface this by saying i am not perfect and there’s a lot wrong with me i need to work on. like a lot.

i hate going to uni because i hate the people im around. i’m not even trying to talk myself up but i feel like people only want to be friends with me because they’re either attracted to me or im smart and understand what’s going on in classes. anyone else i genuinely wanna be friends with doesn’t like me because im too weird. i’m working so hard in school that im barely eating, barely sleeping, barely doing other things that i enjoy. i’m just there stacked with work lonely as fuck with no hobbies or no one to hang out with. all my real friends don’t live in the same city as me and is a bitch to get a hold of them. if i could be genuine friends with big time drug dealers i’d do it in a heartbeat. i’d love to run numbers or case out potential stick ups just to feel like i belong. and they could sit with me at my bench and, while i do my homework, talk about their past or have genuine conversations with them. not these fucking momos i go to school with. i don’t even know what i want to be doing after i graduate. i’m computer engineering and i want to work in robotics but i have no experience in anything outside school. i went to the career fair so unprepared and intimidated that i had to leave. what is it that i actually enjoy? i was thinking of making my clothing line but [tmi but basically i can’t do that rn either, maybe i could i just need to find time]. i can’t believe i left utk to go to this bullshit ass college. i want to work so hard to get out of this situation but im unmotivated to do anything. and why every time i say that it’s some fucking idiot saying “well you don’t need motivation you just need discipline” a part of me wants to say they’re right, because they are, but in reality i want them to shut the fuck up. maybe i need to stop being scared of the truth. i also stack my work up against me instead of being ahead of it which makes me feel like i have more work than i do, because i just want to feel free for a little bit. i never want to do work on the weekends i just want to sulk in bed.

then i have to come home from school i hate to a house i hate even more. i dont care that my mom married some rich lawyer that i have to respect now because i live in his bullshit ass mansion. i had to delete an entire paragraph that was threatening violence onto my step dad for no reason even though he’s done nothing to me, but i just don’t like him and i don’t know why. i can’t even tell my own sister who lives in nyc that i don’t like him because “it’s not nice”. she doesn’t understand because her lucky ass got to get out of that hole. maybe that will be my motivation to leave. i like to disrespect my dad more now because i can’t do it to my step dad. at least my dad knows how to take a joke. shit at least my dad knows what a joke is. if i would talk about how annoyed i am to be living under the same roof as that man i would be here forever. matter of fact it’s what makes me most annoyed out of anything. but just know i have to come home to a home that isn’t a home. i’d rather be at my dad’s where my room feels like one of my childhood rooms but he doesn’t want me there. he wants to live alone and i feel him. a part of me wants to live alone for the rest of my life too. i’m scared imma end up just like him, but hopefully i’ll have some money.

see what people don’t understand about having depression is that on the outside i help people out and can’t say no to anything, but on the inside im just an asshole who really doesn’t like anybody and would rather whine about being broke and lonely than actually put in the effort to make friends or to get that dream job or to discover and work on a talent. i might have a big heart deep down that i don’t know about, but it’s buried behind this cold attitude i feel like i must have. besides the people that hate me for no reason, there are people that genuinely think im a good person… why do they think that. if they knew the real me and i talked the way i really wanted to talk, they would never want to be within a football field of me. im agitated by everything, the people that hate me now or don’t like me anymore, i genuinely want to see them doing bad in life. for some reason it would bring me so much joy if i found out that certain people had a drug problem or went homeless. why is my self esteem so low that i need other people to fail. i bet the reason is that i don’t do anything to help me succeed so it’s better if everyone else was at my playing field. if i was just working on myself i wouldn’t be having these problems but for some reason im allergic to self betterment. whoever said hating is fun is a liar. hating is such a painful but addictive coping mechanism.

[joshuasearing]

Tuesday 16th may 2023

Hey journal so sorry that I have not wrote In here for days on end. The past few days I have just felt so busy especially with work and trying to fit in other things like seeing my girlfriend going to the gym etc. anyways the past couple days I have been at work and it has been pretty shit, however luckily yesterday was good as it was a day of work. So basically yesterday I started my day off waking up with my beautiful girlfriend, we hugged and relaxed with each other for a couple hours. Then after a while we got ready and got the bus. She got the bus to town with Alyssa however I went to the gym. In the gym I did a leg session, however I couldn’t push myself to hard as for some reason I felt so drained from just everything and felt somewhat weak. Anyways after the leg session I walked home. Whole in the way home I walked into a shop and got myself some chocolate raisins and I ate them whilst in the way home. Then once I get home I relaxed for a little while before leaving the house again but with my mum this time. We were going out as I had my theory test for driving today. So firstly when we got into town we quickly checked to see where it was. Then we went to boots and it had nothing my mum wanted. Then we walked back to the theory place. When I walked into that building I felt really nervous and scare that I may fail. When I went inside they asked for my id and asked for me to turn my phone fully of so that I could no long use it for research. Then after this I went to the toilet I was in there for a good while as I was really nervous so this made me poo really badly. I know this is tmi and you probably don’t want to hear that. Anyways after this I say on this chair and read the rules and guidelines, then I had to show this woman my I’d and she told me to put my valuables in this locker my locker was number 13. Then after this they told me to walk to room two this is where I was brought to this woman and she asked for my name and told me things I needed to know and also answered my questions that I had. Then she told me where to sit for the test. Anyways whilst in there I was still feeling really anxious and worried I was going to fail. At one point I was 5 questions in and I thought I was doing practice questions it took me a while to realise I was now doing the real thing. At first doing the test I felt I was answering the questions really quickly this means once I got the near the end I decided to go over all the questions that I answered and I did this about two times before completing the test fully. Then after doing the multiple choice I did hazard perception and absolutely smashed out the park. Anyways after all this when I got the results I was so happy but also shocked that I had past my theory and this was first attempt and I knew many people where it took them loads of attempts to pass but luckily for me I passed first time. So my results were multiple choice I got 44 out of 50 and hazard perception I got 61 out of 75. The pass mark for multiple choice is 43 and the pass mark for hazard perception was 44 so I smashed that one. After this I walked to the car park and waited for my mum to pick me up from there. Then once she picked me up she quickly went shopping. Also when In the car I told some of the family the good new about the theory test m. Then after my mum went shopping we went to macdonalds as a celebration for me passing. Then after this we ate it at home. Then after a while I decided to watch Liverpool absolutely dominate against Leicester and Liverpool were the away team. Anyways after this I came upstairs made a couple tiktoks, FaceTimed my girlfriend and played on my pc.

Speak to you later journal, bye journal!

[alsjeblieft-zeg]

238 of 2023

Yet another TMI as I got too much of them XD

   First kiss?

I thionk it was with Jay, I was 22 then.

   First time masturbating?

Consciously at the age of 15. I guess so.

   First sex toy?

Something my husband gave me, but I’ve never been interested in using it.

   First kink tried?

Nope, I’m a boring guy.

   First time doing oral?

With my husband, I was 28.

   First time having sex?

With Nielsje, I was 24.

   Turn Ons    Biggest turn on?

Eyes, omg. I love guys with pretty eyes *.* arms and thighs seem to be the closest second.

   Biggest turn off?

When someone stinks.

   Quickest way to get horny?

Biology lol. Like, really. Touching is enough.

   Weirdest thing that ever turned you on?

I can’t think of anything.

   Top 3 places to be touched?

3 places? Where am I gonna find that much? I don’t like to be touched by others anyway.

   Ultimate fantasy?

Being left alone so I can sleep.

   Do you like the idea of a three or moresome?

Not for myself, but I don’t care what others do, as long as I’m not involved.

   Do you send nudes? Do you like receiving them?

No and no. They make me cringe.

   Preferences    Sex or masturbation?

I’d say masturbation because I’m not into partnered sexual activities.

   Spit or swallow?

I don’t do that.

   Cut or uncut dicks?

Doesn’t matter to me, I’m indifferent to these body parts. On myself, though, I prefer uncut for reasons.

   Rough or sensual sex?

No sex, but if I really have to choose, then sensual.

   Oldest person you’d sleep with?

My husband, he’s 51.

   Loud or quiet partners?

Preferably quiet, my husband is not that loud either.

   How much foreplay do you like?

None, it’s boring and a waste of time.

   How much teasing do you like?

No, thanks. It gets on my nerves.

   What is too big for you to take?

Everything, it’s painful.

   Do you do hookups or only sleep with a partner?

I’d never do a hookup in my life. Only with a partner, if ever.

   How much kissing do you like during sex?

I’m not into kissing.

   What’s the most attractive part of the body?

Eyes, arms and thighs, I think so.

   Location    Favourite place to have sex?

Bed, if I really have to do it.

   Would you have sex in public?

No, never.

   Last place you had sex?

Our bed, surprise.

   Where would you most like to have sex?

Nowhere.

   Do you like spontaneous sex, or do you need to be in the mood?

I definitely need to be in the mood, and I’m basically never in a mood for it.

  Could you go through with a hookup at a strangers house?

Omg no. No hookups in the first place.

   Kinks    What’s your biggest kink?

In non-sexual way, the body parts which I mentioned before.

   What’s your limit?

Almost everything.

   Are you okay with name calling in bed?

Nope. I’m not into such things.

   Would you do any BDSM?

Never. Not interested in it.

   Do you prefer to tie somebody up or be tied up?

Neither.

   Favourite type of bondage?

None.

   Do you like orgasm denial/forced orgasm?

I still don’t really know what it is.

   Do you like overstimulation?

Nope, I’m oversensitive even without it. This would be painful to me.

   Do you like having pain involved?

No, it would be like a trauma.

   Do you like biting/being bitten?

Not into such things.

   Have you ever been made to/made somebody beg for it?

Nope. Not into such things either.

   Do you have any strange or extreme kinks?

No, thankfully not. I’m a really boring dude.

   Have any roleplaying preferences?

No, I’m not into it either.

   Send a kink with this number. Do you have that kink?

...what?

   Masturbation    Do you own sex toys? How many?

A few, but they’re a gift from my husband and I’m not interested in using them.

   Favourite Sex Toy?

None.

   What do you masturbate to?

My imagination.

   How often do you masturbate?

Sometimes once in a few weeks, sometimes multiple times a day. It depends on how annoying my body is at the moment.

   How often do you use sex toys to masturbate?

Never. Tried it once, it hurt.

   Do you masturbate with penetration?

Said above.

   Do you go for multiple rounds or settle at one or no orgasms?

I could have two when I was younger, once I had three, now I can come only once. I’m getting old, you know XD

   Oral    Do you enjoy giving oral?

No, ew.

   Do you prefer giving or receiving oral?

Neither. For receiving, it’s like overstimulation. Almost painful.

   What makes you orgasm the fastest when receiving oral?

I don’t know, I avoid it at any cost.

   Do you have a preferred technique for giving oral?

No, I rarely do it anyway and only because he’s into it.

   Can you deepthroat?

Omg, no.

   For people with dicks…    How long and how thick is it?

Ooh lol, there we go again. It’s not impressive, but I couldn’t care less.

   Do you do anal? Top or bottom?

Rarely I do, always bottom for some reason.

   Are you circumcised?

No, I’m not.

  Do you like your balls being played with?

Not really by others. Sometimes I’d allow my husband do it, though.

   Do you enjoy prostate stimulation? Ever came from it?

I did once, it was really intense and I figured out it’s not really for me.

   Where do you like to finish?

Wherever it’s easy to clean.

  For people with vaginas… (skipping this as I don't have one)    Do you like playing with your clit?    How do you prefer to do it?    What’s your breast size?    How often do you go braless?    Do you finger yourself?    How familiar are you with your g-spot?    Do you squirt?

   Sex    Favourite position?

“Leave me alone so I can sleep”.

   How often do you do unprotected sex?

Well, I have one stable partner and there’s no risk of pregnancy, so.

   How loud are you in bed?

I don’t moan, but I tend to laugh.

   Do you enjoy having nipples played with?

Omg no. They’re oversensitive as well.

   Do you like/dislike/love/hate cum?

I’m not a big fan of bodily fluids, even my own, so here’s your answer.

   How good are you at dirty talk?

Terrible and I’m not into it anyway.

   Do you get sleepy after an orgasm?

Yeah, I do. But I have some negative feelings either.

   Other    Do you like wearing/seeing people in lingerie?

No, I don’t like it.

   Do you masturbate or have sex with clothes on?

Yeah, I prefer that. Being fully naked kinda turns me off.

   What’s your favourite style of underwear?

Just a normal one that I wear as well. Is it called trunks or something?

   Are stockings/thigh highs a turn on?

Not for me. They’re too feminine.

   Ever had somebody say no to a kink you suggested trying?

I don’t suggest any kinks to anyone.

   Do you trim, shave or leave pubic hair untouched? How do you prefer partners?

That’s the only thing I shave, except for my face, and I don’t care about others. It’s a free country.

   How many orgasms can you have in a day?

Depends on how many times a day I “have fun”. I can’t have multiple, it seems, but after that period of refraction (is this how it’s called?), I can easily haveanother one.

   How many other people know your dick/bra size?

Two. Nielsje and my husband.

   What do you wear to bed?

Just underwear, or nothing in summer.

   Do you eat ass? Do you like having your ass eaten?

No, that’s disgusting.

   Try to describe how orgasm feels for you.

Too overwhelming and too intense. Seems that my body is way more sexual than my mind has ever been.

   Have you ever been to a strip club? How was it? If not, would you?

No and yeah, just for lolz. It woukdn’t turn me on even a bit.

   Fun questions!    Do you name your genitalia?

Lol no. It’s lame.

   What would be your stripper name?

Get off.

   Any funny sex stories?

I had a leg cramp during my first time, does it count?

   What food if any would you use during sex?

Omg lol, nope.

   Would you give somebody a sex toy as a gift?

No, but someone got such a gift for me.

   What’s the weirdest porn you’ve ever seen?

99% of it is either weird or boring.

   Do you often get horny in public?

Recently yes, and I hope nobody has ever noticed. Such a shame.

   Ever used something that isn’t made for sex in the bedroom?

No, I don’t think so.

   Have you ever walked in on somebody or been walked in on?

No and no. Thankfully.

   Do you have any friends you’d sleep with?

Does my husband count?

 ​

[keanureevesisbae]

tales of love - a coffee date

Vision impaired!Syverson x Molly Sweet (asian ofc)

Summary: Sy is going on his first date with the one and only Molly.

Warnings:��None

Wordcount: 1.5k

Masterlist // tales of love masterlist //

Sy’s neighbor Ruiz is an elderly Puerto Rican man and the only one who is willing to make sure Sy will not leave the house wearing an outfit that is mismatched. So, when Sy is going on his first date with Molly, Ruiz is there for him to make sure he looks good. Making sure his buzzcut is neat, the beard is trimmed and he wears a decent outfit. Nice slacks, a simply black shirt and shoes that do not have mud on them. 

Ruiz walks with him to the cafe where Sy is going to meet Molly. He would lie if he said he wasn’t nervous, because he is. Ruiz had described her profile pictures, but despite that, he still couldn’t make anything off it, however he had dreamed about her face, while she remained faceless.

‘Do I have to wait here with you?’ Ruiz asks, when they stop in front of the door, not in the way of others. ‘I can, you know. We’re here at least fifteen minutes early.’

Sy nods. ‘I’d like that, Ruiz. Thank you.’

They wait in silence, but it’s great for Sy to get his mind straight. To get the facts in order.  He does not need to feel insecure or nervous, however he still is. Before he lost his vision, he knew his way around, but that was when he could see. When he saw the facial expressions. Now he has to pluck it out of the air and that can be difficult. 

‘I think she’s here,’ Ruiz says, dragging Sy out of his thoughts. ‘Axel, look out for your owner, okay?’

While Sy usually does not let people engage people with Axel, Ruiz is the exemption of his rule and he can scratch him behind his ear whenever he wants.

‘I’m here, I’m here,’ he hears Molly say as she approaches. ‘Sorry, I’m late. I got stuck in traffic.’

‘That’s okay,’ Sy tells her.

She is quick to wrap her arms around his shoulders. He now feels Molly is a petite woman and he can tell she’s standing on her tippy toes to hug him. He pulls her close to his body as he says: ‘Hi Molly, glad you could make it.’

He pulls back and he hears Molly say: ‘Hi there, I’m Molly.’

‘I’m Ruiz, Sy’s neighbor. I helped him pick out the outfit. You like?’

‘Ruiz, you did a splendid job.’ 

Sy can’t hide a smile.

‘Well, I leave you two to it. Adios, big guy, do not screw this up. Miss Molly, good to meet you and have fun.’

‘Bye Ruiz,’ Sy says and Molly says her goodbyes as well.

Molly places her hand on his elbow. ‘You look really good,’ she says. ‘I’ve been looking forward to this date the entire week. I really think you are the most handsome man I have ever seen in my life.’

He shyly chuckles not expecting that many compliments. ‘Are you sure about that?’

‘Yes Sy, I am sure about that. Come on, let’s go inside.’

She’s lovingly guiding him by his hand, not in an overbearing motherly way, but in a kind and gentle manner. Almost like she always does it. Molly helps him take a seat, make sure there is enough room for Axel and she sits across from him. ‘What would you like to order?’ she asks. ‘I always go for a cappuccino here, with a pump of caramel syrup with regular milk. I actually can’t digest lactose really well, but I always make an exception for a cappuccino.’ Molly lets out a nervous chuckle. ‘Okay, that was a little TMI. You did not ask for that.’

It’s the first time she has shown a little bit of awkwardness and it’s good to see she’s relatable in that sense.

‘It’s okay,’ Sy says, utterly enthralled by her voice. ‘I like a double espresso.’ When the waitress walks up to their table, politely asks what she can do for them today, he is quicker than Molly and orders their drinks and Molly even adds some vanilla cake to it, saying they can share.

‘You have not seen the sizes of the vanilla cake here,’ she says, only for her to stammer. ‘Oh gosh, of course you haven’t. That is really embarrassing and inconsiderate of me. I’m sorry.’

Sy starts to laugh, finding it quite amusing. ‘That’s all right.’ 

‘Does it happen a lot?’ she asks.

‘It does,’ he says, ‘but I don’t mind.’ And that’s not a lie. He really does not mind, especially when it comes from Molly.

‘Is Axel comfortable?’ Molly asks.

‘He is,’ Sy confirms. 

‘How can you tell?’

‘He is relaxed,’ Sy says, as he places his hand on Axel’s head. ‘I know my guide dog, Molly. I can tell by his body language and his energy.’

‘Awesome,’ she says. ‘Is it too… Too much to ask already about… You know… The elephant in the room.’

Sy smiles. ‘No, no, not at all. I lost my vision during my time as a Captain in the army. It was an accident and… It left me blind. That’s at least the short version of it.’

‘And are you totally blind?’ Molly carefully questions.

‘I am.’

‘Must be hard,’ she admits. ‘But I bet everyone says that to you.’

‘I’m used to it,’ he says in all honesty. ‘So, tell me about yourself, Molly. What do you do for a living?’

‘I work at the zoo,’ she says. ‘I’m the dolphin trainer.’

He bursts into laughter. ‘Now for real.’

‘How did you know I was lying?’ she asks. ‘I thought I was pretty convincing.’

‘I have an antenna for that.’

She lets out a chuckle. ‘I work as a secretary. It’s pretty stupid and unimportant, so… What do you do?’

He doesn’t really like how she’s undermining her profession, however he lets it go. ‘I’m a coach for guys who serve in the military and suffer from PTSD. I don’t do it alone, because apparently I can be a bit of a heartless asshole, but it’s nice to do something right.’

Molly places her hand on his. ‘That’s so noble of you. Makes my job even seem more of a waste of time.’

Sy squeezes her hand. ‘It’s not,’ he says. ‘Someone has to be the walking agenda for jumped-up loser, right?’

‘You’re right,’ she chuckles. ‘You have very protective hands. Wait, no, that sounds weird. I’m so so sorry,’ Molly continues, ‘I just really nervous.’ She wants to pull her hand from his, however Sy doesn’t allow it. 

‘It’s alright. You… You are quite something, Molly.’

‘I am?’ she asks. ‘I feel like I am making you uncomfortable.’

‘You’re not,’ Sy says, actually touched she thinks like that. It’s clear from her intentions she is not pitying him. On the contrary, she’s just a girl who is nervous for a date with a guy.

And that makes Sy feel like he is just a regular dude. Not a blind man, but a normal one. 

‘You’re hands are quite calloused,’ she then says. ‘Has everyone told you that you are really handsome? Besides me.’

He chuckles. ‘They have,’ he admits. ‘Ruiz tried to tell me what you looked like, however I couldn’t quite make the picture, despite him trying.’

‘Well,’ she says, ‘that says something about Ruiz.’

‘I bet you’re gorgeous,’ Sy says in a low tone, almost like he doesn’t want her to hear.

‘I’m not,’ she says, ‘but… thanks.’

｡◕ ‿ ◕｡

Their date continues on to be magnificent. She manages to lose the jitters and he loves spending time with her. One of those obnoxious cappuccino orders of hers quickly becomes two and eventually they share a pot of tea of her taste, since she is awfully picky and he doesn’t really care.

Molly is a very happy young woman, in her mid twenties and despite her boring sounding job, she is able to tell a lot of juicy details she probably shouldn’t spill, but does nonetheless. 

She even swapped places, sitting down on the chair next to him and her perfume is lovingly pleasant to be around with. Sweet, but not candy sweet. Sweet as in the nicest flowers he has ever smelled. 

But eventually, it’s time to call it quits. Molly has to grab an Uber back home and right before she gets in, she takes his hand again. ‘I had an amazing time,’ she admits. ‘I really want to do this again sometimes. If, of course, you want to as well.’

Sy smiles. ‘I’d love that, Molly. I had a wonderful time.’

He can tell she’s hesitating, but then he feels her lips leaving a quick peck on his cheek. ‘I’ll talk to you later, Sy,’ she says, her tone lower and therefore huskier.

The spot on his cheeks flares up in probably a deep red color, his heart skipping a beat or two. He hears the door shut close, but a window open. 

‘Au revoir, Sy,’ she says, before laughing.

He smiles. ‘Au revoir, Molly.’

｡◕ ‿ ◕｡

｡◕ ‿ ◕｡

Taglist: @diegos-butt // @crazybutconfidentaf // @lyrarodriguez // @thelastsock // @cherry-gemz // @oddsnendsfanfics // @kebabgirl67 // @abschaffer2 // @bourbonwithice // @eldarwen333 // @needmorereading // @gearhead66 // @kingliam2019 // @omgkatinka // @liecastillo // @xuxszx // @sofiebstar // @pterodactylterrace // @inlovewithhisblueeyes // @viking-raider // @identity2212 // @kneelforloki // @pretty-toxic-revolver //

[xiaq]

Hi, I have a question re:sex and Christianity. Small background: I still go to church, and I still live with my parents even though I'm not much younger than you, because housing is very very expensive where I live (pretty common here, I would say about 2/3 of my friends live with their parents and we are decently privileged kids)

Anyway. How does one get over purity culture? To be clear, I've never been told in church not to have sex, I've never gotten the gendered lessons that you got. But I am terrified of having sex. My first real, multi-year relationship just ended and while there was hand stuff etc, there was never any p in v sex (lol I feel 12). But I still had insane anxiety about being pregnant despite being on bc. And I think its because I know my parents would be so disappointed if I had sex. And if I was pregnant I could imagine all the gossip. And honestly I think im from a pretty open church, b/c one of our previous ministers kids recently got married at 8 months pregnant and lots of church people were at the wedding and supportive and her parents were there and everything.

I dont even think I particularly like sex, i might be on the ace spectrum, but how do I remove it from all the anxiety that's tied to it so I can even give myself the chance to find out???

(Asking because it seems like you've been pretty open about purity culture/removing yourself from it)

CW for sex talk (again)

How does one get over purity culture?

Oh man. That really is the million-dollar question, huh? Obviously, I can only answer re my personal experiences, and this is something you should talk to a therapist about, but I can tell you how I’ve tackled it with my therapist at least.

Purity culture is, at its core, an ideology that is perpetuated by shame. If you’re indoctrinated into purity culture when you’re a kid, the concepts become baked into the way you construct your identity, your perception of self, and your perception of your sexuality. It’s practically intrinsic, by the time you’re an adult, to feel shame any time you’re reminded you have a body, much less a sexuality.

According to the chapels I sat through every week as a kid, a girl's body could be 3 things: an intentional stumbling block for men, an accidental stumbling block for men, or unnoticeable. Women were to strive for the third option so as to keep their (and their male friends/authority figures) purity intact. After all, if a boy, or even your male teacher, had impure thoughts about you, it was your fault for tempting them (which, holy shit. I still can’t believe that was a thing I bought into for so long. If my 45 yr old grown-ass teacher had impure thoughts because he could see my 12 yr old collarbone, that sure as hell wasn’t my fault. But I digress.) The Only time a woman’s body can be something else, is when she gives it to her husband, at which point she must suddenly flip the switch in her brain that she is now allowed to be a Sexual Being and she must perform Sexual Duties despite living in outright fear of her own body and sexuality for years (decades?) up until this point. Jesus take the wheel.

Purity culture isn’t a thing you can just decide to walk away from if you’ve grown up in it. Because its ideology is insidious and internalized. So first you need to submit to the fact that you’re going to be fucked up about sex. It sounds like you’re there. Second, you need to interrogate what you believe. If you’re leaving religion behind entirely, you’ll approach removing yourself from purity culture differently than if you still identify as a Christian. It sounds like you might be the latter, which meant, for me, separating what’s actually biblical and what’s shitty, contrived, doctrine that I was told is biblical but is actually more political than spiritual. This helps you address the shame issue.

You need to throw away I Kissed Dating Goodbye and Lady in Waiting and all those ridiculous books you read and reread in the hopes of somehow obtaining impossible marriage perfection and look into actual scripture interpreted within its historical context. I could write a book on this, but the TL;DR is that the text of the Bible was written, translated, curated, and changed multiple times over thousands of years by human beings with human biases and, often, personal and/or political agendas. It contradicts itself! Reading it as it is—a flawed historical document—rather than some sort of God-breathed perfect document—is incredibly freeing. When you do, you’ll probably realize that purity culture is bullshit on a spiritual level. Which is a good start, if that matters to you. Because any time you start to feel shame or guilt you can ask yourself: does God actually care if I wear a bikini or touch a dick I’m not married to? Probably not. Wear the bikini. Touch the dick.

The most important therapy session for me was when my therapist asked what I would do if I got to heaven and God was actually the God I’d been raised to fear. What would I do if he condemned me for being bisexual and having premarital sex and becoming educated, for arguing with men, and failing to isolate while menstruating, and wearing mixed fabrics? If Montero had come out at the point, I probably would have said I’d pole dance down to hell. Instead, I said I would spit on heaven’s gates. If a god that cruel and that pointlessly demeaning really exists—a god who would create in me condemned desire—I won't worship him. The good news is, I’m 99% sure he doesn’t exist. At the very least, he isn’t supported by scripture.

Okay. The final thing you need to do is figure out what you actually want, sexually speaking. This bit is probably the hardest. I’m still in the early stages of this myself. You say: “I dont even think I particularly like sex, i might be on the ace spectrum, but how do I remove it from all the anxiety that's tied to it so I can even give myself the chance to find out???” Bro, I wish I had an easy answer for you. For me, whenever I’m feeling anxious about Sex Things, I tell myself: 1. My God does not equate my worth to my sexual habits. 2. My partner does not equate my worth to my sexual habits. 3. I do not equate my worth to my sexual habits. It seems silly, but reminding myself of those three things is massively helpful. If, after I’ve sorted through those, I’m still anxious or uncomfortable, I stop doing the thing. I evaluate. Am I overwhelmed and I need to try again some other time? Do I just not like the thing? Sometimes it’s hard to tell. Sometimes you change your mind. Sometimes you just don’t know. That’s why having a partner who you trust and who’s willing to patiently explore your interests (and respect your disinterests) is so important. Half the battle, for me, was having a partner who told me they’d be ok with no sex at all. Because that took the pressure off me. If the bare minimum they need is nothing, then anything more than that is a bonus! Hooray! This is maybe TMI, but let me tell you. I thought I was asexual* right up until I was able to have moderately non-anxious sex. Never in my life did I think I would initiate a sexual situation but… I do now. It’s a fun thing to do with a person I love and, holy shit. I am furious that I nearly missed out on it.

Finally, re birth control: I don’t know how you can approach that fear in a way that works for you. If you don’t want to ever have penetrative sex, that’s fine! If that’s a point of anxiety you can’t get rid of, then don't push yourself to do it. If you find out you like other sex things, do the other sex things! If you don't like doing any sex things, don't do any sex things! Also, have you considered sleeping with people who can’t get you pregnant? Always an option if it’s an option you want to consider. ;)

Okay. I hope this was even a little bit helpful. Sorry if it’s a little convoluted, I typed it up in bursts during my work breaks.

*This is not at all to say that asexuality can be “fixed." Rather, it’s to say that things like purity culture can drastically confuse your sexuality in general. If you’re asexual, then this process is still important to discover what you like/dislike. Then you can be explicit about those necesities and find a partner who’s a good fit (if you want a partner at all, that is).

[lowlights]

First I’d like to say congrats on your huge milestone!!! You absolutely deserve all the love and all the praise and all the cookies! Or pastries or whatever you prefer lol.

Second, I would like to talk about Frankie maybe? For a minute, if you don’t mind? (Also a bit of tmi ahead - I’m not squeamy but I don’t want to upset anyone)

Today I had an hour long gynecologist appointment and had to have a drain tube placed in my bartholin gland bc it was blocked (it has to stay here for 4 weeks with no penetration of fingers or even tampons 😞) and I’m overwhelmed and uncomfortable and upset and every other thing and I don’t have anyone to comfort me. I cried the entire hour long drive home and was only greeted by my dog.

Could you maybe talk about how Frankie would help comfort his girl, and reassure her that she’s okay, and just idk the softest syrupy shit that our sweet man would do for his girl. And if not that’s also 100% okay and I respect your decision!

Oh, honey. I'm so sorry. I'm not squeamish either, but I'm going to throw this whole thing under the cut just for people that might be. But I want you to know first and foremost that I know what it's like to come home to just your dog. My dogs have had a lot of tears cried into them. Also, I go through a lot of medical things myself with chronic illness, so I can relate a bit to this.

Talk of medical things, crying, mentions of sex, lots of fluff, TLC under the cut.

You cry all the way home from the appointment, the road blurring with your tears that you don't even bother to wipe away. When you pull into your driveway, Frankie's truck is already parked in its usual spot. That's weird - it's still too early for him to be home from work.

You try to pull yourself together, not wanting to upset Frankie. As soon as you walk into the house, you smell your favorite candle burning. You drop your bag and coat on a chair, not even bothering to hang anything up. Your dog greets you and you can barely manage to give them a little pet as you walk by slowly, uncomfortable from the procedure and the long drive home.

"Babe?" you hear Frankie call from the next room. "You home?"

You open your mouth to call back to him, but no sound comes out. You think if you do try to talk, the dam will break again and all the pain you're trying to hide below the surface will spill out. So you just nod, as though he can see you through the wall that separates you.

After a moment, Frankie comes walking around the corner. "Hey, I thought I heard the door open." He sees your face and is immediately at your side. "Baby, what's wrong? What happened?" The concern on his face breaks your heart wide open, and the second he puts his hand on your cheek, you fall apart.

You sob into his chest and he holds you tightly, his strong arms wrapped around you. He murmurs comforting things against the crown of your head in between the soft kisses he presses against your hair. He doesn't pressure you to talk or even move until your tears start to subside.

"Can you sit and tell me about it?" he asks. You nod so he leads you to the couch, helping you to get comfortable before sitting right up next to you, arm around your shoulder.

You tell him everything. Everything the doctor did and said. How you were freaked out the whole time. How you wish the home remedies had worked, but they didn't. How you had to have this procedure and it was going to affect your life for the next few weeks.

Frankie listens without interrupting, only giving a nod or a hum of understanding as you talk and rubbing your arm. When you get through it all and the tears threaten to come back, he tilts your face so that he can give you a gentle kiss.

"I should have been there, I should have driven you. I even got let go from work early today. Fuck, baby, I'm sorry," he tells you, remorse evident on his face.

"No, it's ok. It wouldn't have changed anything," you promise him. You hesitate before telling him the last bit. "There's something else, though. Something that might upset you. I can't...you know...do anything for the next four weeks."

Frankie looks confused. "You mean you can't do any heavy lifting or something?"

You shake your head no. "I mean I can't do anything. With you. I can't have sex. I can't even put in a damn tampon!"

Frankie looks at you, serious as can be, and takes your hand in his. "Babe, I don't care in the slightest. If I made you feel like that would be a big deal to me, I'm so sorry. I just want you to be healthy. I love you more than anything."

"I just didn't want to disappoint you," you say softly.

"You could never disappoint me," he says. You smile, just a little one.

Frankie flips into pilot mode, ready to take action. You can see it on his face. "Alright, tell me what we need to get. What did the doctor say to get?"

You outline everything, including what you need from the pharmacy. Antibiotics, pain meds, and sanitary pads. You stutter a bit at that last part, but Frankie just asks you to explain which ones ("That aisle is too damn big") and makes notes on his phone. He brings you your favorite pillow and blanket, calling your dog to curl up in his place as he moves around the house. Before you know it, you are as cozy and comfortable as possible with a cup of hot tea, Netflix pulled up on the TV, and the curtains next to you open just a little bit so you can feel some sunshine on your face.

"I'm gonna run to get everything you need and I'll be back in 30. Pick out a good show for us to watch. I called both of our bosses and took off tomorrow- I'm just gonna stay here and take care of you, alright?"

You nod with a sad smile. He loves you so much.

He leans down to kiss you. "It sucks, but it's just a few weeks. We can do this. I've got you."

----

A/N: I'm sorry that you're going through this, love! Hopefully, this brings you a little bit of comfort. Take care x

[atlafan]

The Good Life - One Shot

a/n: okay so we have business man!Harry, and co-worker Y/N, but also she’s the boss’ daughter???? friends to lovers???? smut??? not proofread????

words: 14.5K

If there was one thing that Harry hated, it was a spoiled brat. He hated when people got whatever they wanted without even working for it. If he ever had kids, he would teach them the value of a dollar. You, however, were an exception to that rule.

Harry steps out of his office, and smells his favorite scent in the world. There was this perfume you’d wear that smells like raspberries. You were officially home for summer vacation, and you had to be here visiting your mother, who was Harry’s boss.

“Carol, is Y/N here?” Harry asks his secretary.

“Yes, she came by to have lunch with Cheryl. She just finished grad school, can you believe it?”

“That’s incredible…so that would make her what? Twenty-three?”

“She turns twenty-four later this summer.” She smiles.

This was good, Harry was only twenty-seven, so that wasn’t that big if an age difference. Carol knew Harry had a crush on you, even though he had never admitted it. He’d been working at the company for five years, so he’s known you for a while now. He’s always kept his distance, though. You went to a private school in high school, and you used to come to the office in your uniform after school. You were a senior at the time, but Harry still felt weird being attracted to you at that time. And sure, Harry’s had a couple of girlfriends that he really liked, even loved. It’s not like he was obsessed with you or anything. He just…thought you were cute.

You and your mother come out of her office giggling. Harry stands up straight and makes sure his tie isn’t all out of sorts.

“Harry, good I’m glad you’re here.” Cheryl starts. “You remember my daughter, Y/N.”

“Sure, hi.” He smiles.

“Hi, Mr. Styles.” You smile.

“Oh, honey, no need to be so formal, especially now that you’re joining the team.” Cheryl beams.

“What?” Harry asks.

“Harry, I know you and I usually discuss new hires, but Y/N officially has her MBA, and well, she really wants to work here.”

“I have since I was a kid. I’m really excited.”

“She’ll be your new assistant. Gotta start her somewhere.”

“But…that’s Carol’s job.”

“Carol is the office secretary, not a personal assistant. You’ve been asking for one for quite some time. I thought you’d be more excited.” She raises an eyebrow at Harry.

Harry looks at Carol, and Carol just smiles nervously.

“I think it’s great.” Carol says. “But a girl with an MBA…that’s a little too entry level, don’t you think?”

“Well, I certainly couldn’t start her as an associate director.” Cheryl laughs.

“It’s okay, I know I need to work my way up. I have, like, zero experience. This’ll be my first real job, so I really don’t mind being Harry’s assistant. I’m good at answering phones and writing messages down.” You smile. “I won’t disappoint you.”

“I didn’t think you would. This’ll be great. When do you officially start?”

“Monday. I was just coming by today to pass in some paperwork to H.R.”

//

Before the end of the day, Harry knocks on Cheryl’s door. She tells him to come in and he sits down.

“What can I do for you?” She smiles.

“So…why’d you choose me to work with Y/N? There’s plenty of people here that could use an assistant.”

“To be honest, Harry, I trust you. You’re close in age with her, you can give her advice on what it’s like just starting out. You were just a mail boy when you started.”

“That was when I was just an intern when I was still in school.” He chuckles.

“And we just loved you so we hired you. You’ve grown up a lot over the last five years, and you work so hard. I think she could really learn a lot from you. I’ll let you in on a little secret too, she actually asked if you needed an assistant.”

“She did?” He perks up. “I mean, uh, did she now?”

“Yes…I think she may have a small crush on you, but don’t mind her. If it makes you uncomfortable I can have her-“

“No!” He takes a deep breath. “No, it’ll be fine. She probably won’t like me much once she gets to know me anyways.”

“She knows you well enough. You’ve been to the house enough times for parties.” She laughs. “In fact, I’m hoping you and Amy will come skiing with us again this winter.”

“Oh, uh, Amy and I broke up.”

“Oh no.” She frowns. “I’m sorry, Harry.”

“It’s okay.” He shrugs. “Just wasn’t mean to be, but I’ll totally come skiing.” He grins. “Could be dating someone else by then anyways.”

“Very true.”

//

Monday morning you show up bright and early. You had a nice light purple blouse on with a black pencil skirt. Your mom had taken you shopping for some new work clothes, and you loved them. You had stopped off at a coffee place and grabbed a ton of different coffees and doughnuts. You wanted to make a good first impression. Most people knew you as Cheryl’s littler girl, but you were almost twenty-four, you weren’t a little girl anymore.

Harry always went to the gym before work, and would eat his breakfast in the breakroom before changing. He stops short when he sees you bent over the table making everything look nice.

“Morning.” He says, and you stand up straight right away.

“Hi, Harry…uh, coffee?” You gesture to the table of assorted drinks.

“Maybe in a bit.” He scrunches his face at the drinks. “Any of those just black?”

“Um…no…do people actually like black coffee?”

“I do.” He smirks. “You’ll want to know that. As my assistant, I’ll expect a coffee on my desk every morning.”

“Oh, uh, alright-“

“Y/N.” He chuckles. “I’m just teasing, I can get my own coffee.” Harry shakes his head and reaches to open one of the cupboards. He pulls out a box of protein bars and takes one out.

“No doughnut either?”

“Hmm….” He peers over and sees a chocolate glazed. “Save that one f’me?”

“Sure!”

“Thanks, I’ll have it after lunch.” He slings his gym bag over his shoulder. “Now, I usually go change in my office, so, don’t come in.”

“I won’t…do you always go to the gym before work?”

“Yup, helps wake me up, gets me ready for the day.”

“Cool.” You smile.

Everyone else in the office was very quick to snatch up the things you brought in, gaining major brownie points. Your mom was happy to see you take a little initiative. For most of the day you sat in on various meetings. You and Harry didn’t even have much time to talk. He shares his calendar with you so you can see when he’s busy, and you share yours with him as well. You had a nice size desk right outside his office. You brought some things with you to decorate it, pictures of friends and what not. Right before lunch, a few people come over to Harry’s office, women. One of them is about to open his door, but you stop her.

“Sorry, Mr. Styles is busy.”

“It’s okay, I’m a friend. It’s almost lunch.”

“But he’s on a call.” Your eyes peer over to the screen where you can clearly see on his calendar that he’s busy.

She sucks her teeth and looks at the other women.

“Fine…guess we’ll see him later then.” She sighs and they all walk away. A few moment later Harry slowly opens his door.

“That was brilliant, thank you.” You turn to look at him. “Those three always try to have lunch with me, it’s pretty annoying. Now I have a barrier that they have to get through.” He checks his watch. “Gotta go. Have a good lunch.”

“Thanks, you too.”

You go into Harry’s office and place the doughnut he had asked you for on his desk. When he gets back he smiles and picks it up.

“Wanna split it?”

“Sure!”

It looked so small in his large hand. You take the half from him and eat it happily.

“Come in around four, we can talk about your first day and what the rest of the week will look like. Sorry things have been so busy.”

“It’s okay, I feel like I’m already learning a lot.” You tuck some hair behind your ear. “I’m really glad I get to work for someone so chill. I was worried I was going to get stuck with Phil.” You laugh.

“Yeah, that would’ve been boring. He’s been here nearly thirty years. Think he has grandkids your age.”

“Gross.” You say and it makes Harry laugh.

At four you come into his office with a notepad. He had loosened his tie a bit, and his sleeves were rolled up.

“I’m really glad this place has A/C.” You say.

“Believe it or not your mum had to fight for that. It was before I started, but she made it happen.”

“Probably the hot flashes.” You start laughing and then you stop. “Sorry, TMI.”

“It’s alright. Didn’t think she went through the change yet.”

“Well, you know my oldest sibling is like…thirty-two right?”

“Ah, forgot you were the baby.”

“Hey.” You pout. “I may be the youngest, but I’m not a baby.”

“You’re the most fun. Your siblings didn’t even ski last year on that trip. They just sat around.” He rolls his eyes. “Anyways, let’s talk about your first day, how was it?”

“Good! I was a little nervous, but it was good. A lot to take in, but I’ll catch on.”

“Where do you see yourself going?”

“I want my mom’s job someday.”

“Ambitious.”

“I’m willing to work for it.”

“Well, you’ll have to wait a little while because when your mum retires, I’m hoping that spot’ll be mine.”

“Okay, so I’ll take your job in the meantime.” You smirk.

“Sounds like a plan.” He chuckles. “Anyways, you have a chance to look at my calendar?”

“Mhm, you have a lot of meetings this week.”

“That’s right, so I’ll need you alert for the phone. Oh, and some meetings I’d like you in on to take notes. Makes it easier for me to pay attention if I don’t have to have my laptop in front of me.”

“Okay.”

“This is your first real job, so I wanna make sure you know about burn out. You’ll accumulate time off, use it. Same with sick time. Mental health is important and you may feel overwhelmed at times. You’ll probably feel really tired by the end of the week. Make sure to check in with me about how you’re feeling. If there’s something you need, we’ll make sure you get it, okay?”

“Thanks, Harry.”

“Just paying it forward. This can be a really great place to work, you just need to know the right people. You know Carol, obviously. She’s the best. Don’t be afraid to go to her for help. She was amazing to me.”

“Yeah, her daughter used to babysit me.”

“Right.” He clears his throat.

“I think you’re the only person here that never saw me with braces.” You laugh. “I think you came on when I was, like, a senior in high school.”

“Sounds about right.”

“You were always so polite. I couldn’t believe it. When I got to college I always hoped the boys would be like you, but they weren’t.” You shrug.

“Okay, well, I think that’s enough for today. Why don’t you head home?”

“Would you mind walking me down to my car?”

“Oh, well, I’m not done for the day yet. I usually stay until six just to wrap things up.”

“Okay, then I’ll stay too.”

“You don’t have to.”

“I want to.”

“You’re not allowed to. Your day ends at 4:30.” He runs a hand through his hair. “But I could take the stroll down to the parking garage with you if that makes you feel more comfortable.”

“If you don’t mind, I felt sort of sketched out this morning.”

“I get here at the same time every day. You can just wait for me if you want in the mornings, and we can walk up together.”

“I’d like that.”

//

Working with Y/N was great. Harry absolutely loved it. You kept him organized and taken care of. You stalked the cupboards with his favorite protein bars, and had started picking up his coffee, just because you wanted to. He always praised you and told you how much he appreciated everything you did.

You were good at your work too. He could give you a project and you’d have it done within a couple of days. You were determined and efficient. He could definitely see you moving up fast, which sort of made him sad. He’d keep you forever if he could, but that would be selfish. He thought his little crush on you would be distracting, but it wasn’t. It almost made you get along even better.

Your mom always hosted a company Labor Day party. You had a huge backyard with a large in ground pool. You couldn’t believe how fast the summer went by, but you were happy to be in a routine. You loved this pool party, and now you were there as an employee. It was always catered with the best food, and your friends would come by. This year, though, you didn’t invite them. You wanted to seem professional with everyone. You even wore a one piece bathing suit with a little sheer skirt tied around your waist.

You were walking around, mingling, when you saw Harry walk in. Usually he brought some pretty date, but the only thing in his arms was a platter of food he offered to bring, and some beers. You were excited that he hadn’t gotten back together with Amy, or that he had met someone new.

“Harry!” You exclaim when you go into the kitchen.

“Hi, Y/N.”

“You don’t look dressed to swim.” You tease him.

“Not really planning on it this year.”

“But it’s so hot out.”

“Drinks will keep me cool.” He winks at you and cracks open one of his beers. “Does it ever get annoying to have so many people around your house?”

“Well, technically, this isn’t my house anymore. I moved into the pool house last month and started paying my mom rent. I wanted to have a little more freedom, you know? But it’s just her in this big place now so I felt bad wanting to fully leave. She said she’s putting the rent money in an account for me so one day when I do buy a house or something, I’ll have something to start with. Plus, it gets me in the habit of paying bills.”

“Look at you, becoming a real adult.” He nudges you and you both go outside. “You’ll be twenty-four soon, right?”

“Mhm, next weekend. I’m going away with my friends. I’m leaving early Friday, don’t forget.”

“Got it on my calendar.”

He smiles and walks away. Of course he does, he wanted to talk with the other, older people at the party. Your mother adored Harry, she always had. Your step-dad liked him a lot too. You were sipping on some wine while the sun was setting, and the party was dwindling. You go over to Harry who was backed into a corner by one of the ladies from finance.

“Harry?”

“Oh, hi! So glad you found me, how about a tour of the pool house?”

“Sure!”

“Excuse us, she’s been dying to show me all day.” Harry says to the woman. He grabs your wrist and leans in. “Walk fast, or she’ll follow.”

You giggle as you both basically sprint away. You key into the pool house and lead him in.

“Oh, wow, this is actually really cool.”

“Thanks! We sort of used it as a guest house anyways, so it didn’t need much work. Just some paint and new furniture. It’s like a little one bedroom apartment. I love it. My friends can come over and we don’t have to worry about being quiet or keeping anyone up. It’s been working out great for everyone so far.”

“I’m happy for you.” He says, looking around. “It’s nice having privacy, isn’t it? I remember when I had saved up enough to move out.”

“Do you have your own house?”

“Haven’t bought any property yet, no. Suppose I could, but I’m fine renting for now. My place isn’t small though.”

“How come you haven’t yet?”

“I don’t know, I just figured I’d buy a house with someone, you know?” He sits down on the arm rest of your couch. “I mean, what if I bought a house, and the girl I was with wanted a different house? I’d want to make it ours. I’ve always wanted to buy my girl the house of her dreams.”

“I thought you didn’t like buying things for people.” You smirk. “But I suppose that’s really sweet.”

“It’s one thing if it’s a gift. I just don’t believe in giving people every little thing they want. They should work for it, you know?”

“My mom was really good about that when we were growing up. She said no all the time. I mean, we were spoiled a little, but at least we’re not brats.”

“True, you could be way brattier.”

“Hey.” You put your hands on your hips.

“Just teasing.”

Just as you were about to step closer to him, your mother opened your door.

“There you are, people are leaving, and…oh…am I interrupting something?” Cheryl asks, a little too eagerly.

“No, mom.”

“She was just helping me escape from Beth in finance.”

“She’s gone.”

“Great, coast is clear.” He stands up. “Better get going myself. Thanks again for a great party. Sorry Ed had to be traveling.”

“You’ll have to come over for dinner next time he’s home.”

“Sounds good, love hearing his traveling stories.”

He gives your mouth a hug, and out he goes. You glare at your mother.

“I’m so sorry.” She says. “I did interrupt.”

“You certainly cooled things by saying that.” You groan. “I finally got him alone, we were talking about things other than work for once! He likes the way I decorated.”

“Honey…Harry’s a little older than you, and you’re fresh out of school. He may just be looking for different things, we’ve talked about this.”

“It’s not like I’m right out of undergrad. I have my MBA, and I’m doing really well at work.”

“You are, you’re doing amazing. Come on, help me say goodnight to our guests.”

//

Harry had already gone to lunch when you were packing up your things to leave early for your girl’s weekend. You notice a card on your desk. You open it and smile. A Visa gift card slides out.

Don’t spend it all in one place. Don’t check your email. Have a great time, and happy birthday. – H

You bite your bottom lip and try not to squeal. That was so sweet of him. You pack up your things and head out. You send him a quick text saying thank you for the gift and out you go.

He missed you the rest of the afternoon, but your thank you text made him smile. You told all of your friends about Harry. He had given you a $100 gift card, which was way too much. He had to like you, there was no way he would have given that much money to just anyone.

//

For Thanksgiving, your family did things a little untraditionally and went skiing. It was something your mother’s family used to scrape together to do, and she continued the tradition with you and your siblings. She bought a huge house in the mountains when you were young. Her friends would come too, sometimes Ed’s parents as well. It was just for people to get together for an entire week, and then share a good meal.

Harry and his girlfriend at the time, Amy, came last year. To be fair you had brought a boy with you too, but it was nothing serious. He would be joining again this year, and he wouldn’t be bringing anyone with him. The house had separate wings, so guests wouldn’t be on top of each other.

There were some other young people there too, along with your siblings and their partners. You were excited to spend time with so many people. None of your siblings wanted anything to do with the family business, which you couldn’t understand. You loved working for your mom.

“Harry!” You hear your mom. “How were the roads?”

“Not too bad yet, just a bit icy.”

“Y/N, help Harry to his room. Look at all the things he’s carrying.”

“She doesn’t need to-“

“Don’t be silly. I’m used to helping you.” You giggle.

You carry one of his bags to his room.

“Thanks.” He walks around and makes sure he has his own bathroom like last time. “Perfect.” He smiles. “I can’t wait to hit the slopes. Is your mum making that green bean casserole again for the holiday? It’s so good.”

“Actually, uh, I make that.”

“Really? Should have known.” He smiles. “Which wing are you in this year?”

“Oh, I’m right across the hall from you actually. My siblings have babies and I didn’t want to risk losing sleep. Is that okay that I’ll be so close by?”

“Definitely. I don’t know who else is going to be here, so it’ll be nice to have a friend so close by. Sure you don’t mind spending so much time with your boss?”

“You’re, like, the best boss ever. Don’t mind at all. Besides, you’re on my turf now.” You step closer to him.

“Oh, is that right?”

“Mhm.”

You hear your name being called from down the hall and you sigh.

“You’ll ski with me tomorrow, right?” He asks before you leave.

“Only if you use the hot tub with me. Gonna need to relax after a long of day of hitting the slopes.” You wink and off you go.

Your mom and Ed make a huge dinner for everyone that night. People were drinking and having a great time. You all head to bed early so those that plan to go skiing and snowboarding, can.

//

The next morning you get all your gear on, and head to the kitchen. Harry was sipping on his black coffee.

“Should I have made that for you?” You smirk and fill your own mug, adding a little creamer to it.

“You’re off the clock, remember.” He takes another sip. “Want some eggs?” He points to the pan of scrambled eggs he made up for everyone.

“Sure! Thanks, Harry.” You beam.

You both share a nice, quiet breakfast together until everyone else comes racing in. Someone makes bacon, and breakfast sausage to go along with the eggs. Harry offers to drive you up to the mountain, no one really seems to notice.

You and Harry have a great day taking runs together. You stop off for a quick lunch at the lodge. Just as you were bringing over a couple of hot chocolates you see him talking to some random girls. You watch as he laughs along at some joke. You hated watching him flirt. He was too good at it. You walk over and hand him his hot chocolate.

“There she is.” He hooks his arm around you and takes the cup of hot chocolate. “Told you ladies my girlfriend would be right back.” He looks at you with a please help me face. “Thanks for the drink, babe.”

“My pleasure.” You kiss his cheek. “Who are your new friends?”

“Oh, we were just leaving.” One of them rolls their eyes and they all leave.

“Nice touch.” He lets go of you and takes a sip of the warm drink. “Mm, this is good.”

“They were bothering you?”

“They invited me to some party. They have to be in college or something. I told them I had a girlfriend. Sorry about that.”

“No worries, it was easy to play along.” You both smile at each other, and he blushes slightly. “Hope it’s okay that I did that.”

“Didn’t mind at all.”

After a few more hours, your legs were starting to get sore. You take a shower the second you get home, and you all eat another big meal together. Ed gets a fire started. Some people play card games. Harry even gets into a game of poker with some of the guys. You announce you’re going to get the hot tub started.

“Oh, that sounds like fun.” Your sister says.

Your mom watches as Harry gets up from his chair to go to his room to change.

“Janey, honey, stay inside, would you?”

“Why?”

“Because I think Harry’s going to join your sister…”

“So?”

“So, why not give them some privacy?” Ed says.

“Ah, I see, so you’re letting her work for you as a way to match them up?” She scoffs.

“No.” Your mother sounds offended. “I just think they’d make a cute couple, and it’s much more appropriate now, so-“

“Mum, she works for him…”

“There’s nothing against it in our H.R. policy. As long as they disclose things if they decide to date, it’s not a big deal. You also didn’t ski all day. You can use the hot tub tomorrow.”

//

You get a two piece on and throw a robe over yourself. You go outside to the back deck where the large hot tub was, and get the jets started. You slip your robe off and get in. A few minutes later Harry comes out with a t-shirt and trunks on.

“Alright if I join you?”

“Yeah! I basically asked you to yesterday.”

You look away as he takes his t-shirt off. You look at him once he’s in. You knew Harry was littered with tattoos. You’d seen him without a shirt on plenty of times. He’d been coming to your house and family gatherings for years. Your mom was really good at creating positive work environments where the boss didn’t need to be this person to be feared. She was a woman of the people, and that’s how you wanted to be. Harry had learned a lot of leadership skills from her, maybe that’s why he was such a great supervisor to you as well. You watch as a sigh leaves his lips and it makes you smile.

“What’s better than this?” He asks, looking at you.

“Not much.”

“Do your legs hurt much?”

“A little. I stretched quickly when I got home.”

“You looked great out there today, you’re fearless on those black diamonds.”

“Oh…thanks.” If your cheeks weren’t already flushed from the steam, they would be from his compliment. You knew he just meant your form and not necessarily your clothes, but still.

“Did I tell you that Paula invited me for Thanksgiving?”

“No!” You gasp. “You’re kidding?!”

“Nope.” He chuckles and shakes his head. “Jocelyn did too, as if neither of them knew I hang with your family. I told them and they were shocked I wanted to go skiing with the boss again. Your mum’s like family to me at this point.”

“You also don’t really celebrate Thanksgiving.” You giggle. “Why go to someone’s home you barely know when you can basically just go on an early winter getaway?”

“Exactly! I don’t understand the women we work with, honestly. The second the picture of Amy left my desk it was like…I don’t know they stopped seeing me as a colleague and more like prey.”

“Does it bother you that so many women flirt with you?”

“It’s not just the women.” He smirks. “And no…not really. It’s mostly harmless. It’s not like they’re putting their hands on me or anything. And it’s not that none of them are attractive or anything.” He sinks a little further in and rests his head on the back of the cushion provided. “I just don’t want to date someone I work with.”

Your heart falls into your stomach. Why would he say something like this to you? You two sort of flirted at work, but mostly things were professional. He met you every morning to walk you upstairs, and he’d always bring you down to your car. Even if he was in a late afternoon meeting, he’d excuse himself at 4:30 to make sure you got downstairs okay.

“I mean, what’s there to talk about when you get home? I suppose if you work in separate divisions that’s not so bad. But the other person knows what you do all day. Seems a little boring.”

“But on the flip side, that person would know exactly what you’re going through and would be able to relate and understand your schedule. Why did you and Amy break up?”

“Uhh.” Harry has to really think about it. It was so long ago now. “We had started talking about moving in together, and she couldn’t understand why I would never try to get out of work earlier so we could go look at places. I stay late so I can leave my work at work. I would try to explain that to her. And then when I would come home early I’d have to be on my laptop answering emails. She didn’t feel prioritized, which I understood was annoying.”

“See? Someone you work with would totally understand.”

“She was also a couple years older than I am, and I could tell she felt like her clock was ticking.” He shrugs. “I wasn’t ready for all the steps she was, at the time.”

“You do tend to date a lot of older women.” You chuckle. “I think one time you brought a woman almost ten years older than you to one of our dinner parties.”

“I used to go out with a lot of divorced women.” He smiles.

“Why?”

“I don’t know, I was young and it was easy to not commit to them. Some of them had kids and stuff, it was an easy out.”

“So you would date just to…fuck and then leave, essentially?”

“I wouldn’t phrase it like that, but I think deep down I saw it as a way that I could be with someone without fully needing to commit. Again, I was young and stupid.”

“You’re still young.”

“And maybe just a little less stupid.”

“Only a little.”

“And what about you? I think I’ve seen you bring every type of guy home with you. Jocks, artists, short guys, tall guys…”

“It’s easier to bring someone to family functions, you know how it is. Some of them were just friends. I never knew which things you were going to come to.” You say nonchalantly.

“Why would me being there matter?”

You realize now what you’ve admitted.

“You know, there’s a fridge out here full of wine, why don’t I-?” You start to get up, but he puts his hand on your shoulder to sit you back down.

“Just answer the question, Y/N.”

“Well…if we’re talking about being young…I obviously had a crush on you…back then.” You were starting to sweat, and it wasn’t from the steam popping out of the bubbles and jets. “I mean, what other teenage girl liked visiting their mom at work as much as I did? I remember the first time I saw you too, I came in after school to drop something off since I was able to drive myself, and I nearly passed out. You were talking with my mom and I felt too nervous to walk up to you. I never felt more like a child in my life. I gushed to my mom about you, and she told me you actually weren’t that much older than I was.”

“So you’d come around more just to see me? You never said more than hello?” He smirks.

“I was way too nervous. You know I almost asked you to take me to my prom?! How embarrassing.” You laugh. “One of my friends took me, obviously.”

“I remember when you came to the office in your dress.”

“It wouldn’t have been so weird if we got together. I was eighteen my entire senior year.”

“You still had a lot of growing up to do. Eighteen legally means you’re an adult, but other than that you’re still just a kid.”

“I realized that the second I got to college. I had a major culture shock. I mean, I was able to do my laundry myself, unlike other kids, but I definitely learned that a maid wasn’t coming around to make my bed or take out the trash. I grew up even more in grad school when I had my own apartment. My mom paid for it, but still.” You shrug. “I was really on my own.”

“Are you happy you went to grad school right after?”

“Yeah, I don’t think I would have gone back if I hadn’t just done it. You have your MBA, right?”

“Mhm, got it a couple years ago through this online program your mum helped me find. It was the only way I was able to move up the way I did.”

“So…it doesn’t totally weird you out that I had a thing for you?”

“Nah.” He smiles. “It’s flattering.”

You may have been willing to expose yourself, but Harry wasn’t. How could he say he had a thing for you too? It still felt weird to him. There was a reason he kept his distance from you. Now, things were less weird. You were twenty-four and he was twenty-seven, almost twenty-eight. You weren’t a child anymore.

“And it’s not weird to say this to my supervisor either?” You cock an eyebrow at him.

“We’re off the clock, away from the office. Besides that, I won’t be your supervisor forever. You’re doing really well, you’ll move up soon.”

“Thanks.”

You desperately just wanted to lunge at him, throw your whole body and mind at him and have him fuck you right there in the hot tub, but the jets slowly came to a stop.

“Think that means we’re supposed to get out. Not supposed to stay in these things long.”

You watch as Harry stands up, your eyes following the droplets of water falling from his chest. He gets out and grabs a towel quickly. He picks up your robe and hands it to you. He looks in the other direction as you stand up and grab it from him.

“Fucking cold out.” He says and you start giggling.

You both go inside and go to your wing of the house.

“You looked away when I got out.” You say as you reach your doors.

“Pardon?”

“When I stood up and got out, you looked away.”

“I was just trying to give you your privacy.”

“Why?”

Now Harry was sweating.

“Because I’m not a guy who ogles women, okay?”

“Are you sure about that? I see the way you glance at me in the office. You’re always complimenting my clothes.”

“You wear nice clothes. Right now, you’re not wearing much, so I didn’t look.”

“My, what a gentleman.” You step a little closer to him. “I don’t mind if you look.” You whisper and then step away from him. “Goodnight, Harry.”

“Goodnight.” He swallows hard as he watches you walk into your room. He goes into his room and locks his door. He wasn’t sure if you were playing a game, but he wouldn’t play it…not while on vacation with your family.

//

The next day he finds himself on the chair lift with your mother. You all had enjoyed a nice breakfast together before heading off to your various activities.

“Sleep well, Harry?”

“Yeah, beds are super comfortable.”

“You don’t mind having it to yourself this time around?”

“Not at all, I can really stretch out.” He chuckles.

“How was the hot tub? It working okay?”

“Uh…yeah…how did you know I used it?”

“Well, the second after Y/N left to go change you got up as well. Doesn’t take a rocket scientist.”

“She had mentioned it the night before. I asked her to ski with me yesterday, and she had said yes, but only if I joined her.”

“Right.” She smiles. “Was it just you two out there?”

“It was.”

“And how was that?”

“What do you mean?”

“Do you enjoy spending time with my daughter? Outside of work, I mean. You both work so well together. You’ve helped her out a lot there, you’re almost like a mentor now. She’ll move up quickly. She’ll be your equal before you know it.”

“She’s very bright.”

“She is. Anyways, outside of work, you both also make a great pair.”

They both jump off the chair once they’re at the top of the mountain.

“What exactly are you saying, Cheryl?”

“I’m saying I’m okay with it.”

“Okay with what?”

“If you wanted to date her, ask her out, whatever, I’d be okay with it. She’s grown woman, she can make her own choices. I would just hope you two weren’t scared to go for it because of me.”

“Cheryl…I…”

“If you don’t like her like that, then I apologize for overstepping. I’m not one of those overprotective people that’s going to stand in the way. I just ask that if you two decide to date, you disclose it with H.R. and keep things as professional in the workplace as possible.”

Before Harry has a chance to say anything, she begins her run down the mountain. He was thoroughly confused. Had she essentially just given him her blessing and permission to ask you out? He wanted to, he really wanted to, but was now the right time? On a fucking family vacation?

//

After the tiring day of taking a crack at snowboarding, you realized skiing was definitely the winter sport for you. Harry had just finished showering and gotten dressed in a sweater and pair of slacks. You were hanging out in your room, just taking some time to scroll on your phone. You hear a knock on your door.

“It’s open!” You call, not looking up from your phone. You were laying on your stomach, with your feet hanging in the air as your knees were bent. Your door opens and you sit up immediately when you see it’s Harry. He leans in the doorway.

“Hi.”

“Hey.”

“How was your day?”

“Good, I tried snowboarding.”

“That’s nice. I went skiing with your mum.”

“Oh, I bet she enjoyed that.”

“She did.” He looks you up and down and squints at your comfy clothes. “Get dressed.”

“Why? We don’t need to be fancy for dinner.”

“Yes we do, because we’re going out tonight.”

“Oh, well no one told me.” You say, annoyed that the messaged hadn’t been relayed. You suppose it made sense since you’d all be cooking a lot once Thanksgiving actually came around.

“You’re misunderstanding me.”

You stop short as you reach your dresser.

“Then explain.”

“You and I are going out to eat. I’m taking you out.”

“Why?”

“So we can be alone.”

Your jaw nearly drops. Both of your eyebrows raise at him. It wasn’t exactly the nicest way for him to ask. This was how he spoke to people in meetings sometimes so they knew he meant business. It always sent a surge through you to see him be so…powerful.

“Would you like that?”

“Yes.”

“Alright then, you’ve got thirty minutes.”

With that, he grabs your door handle and closes your door for you. You were stunned, but giddy. You pull out a cute sweater and a pair of jeans to wear with a nice pair of boots. You fix your hair and makeup, and you’re ready to go. Harry was waiting for you in the living room. He had already told your mother he was taking you out for dinner, and she had told everyone not to make a big fucking deal about it. He hands you your coat and out the door the two of you go. He opens the car door for you, and then he gets in on his side to start driving.

“So, where are we going?”

“Do you remember that Italian place we went to last year? I’ve got a craving for pasta and bread, lots and lots of bread.”

“Skiing all day will do that to you.” You giggle. “Works for me.”

“Good.”

His glove covered hand reaches for your and he intertwines his fingers with yours, resting the conjoined fist on your thigh. He doesn’t look at you, he keeps his eyes on the road. This was his subtle way of saying that was, in fact, a date. You give his hand a little squeeze to let him know that, in fact, you were okay with it.

Once you’re at the restaurant, he opens your door for you again, and leads you inside. You stay close to him for warmth, it was freezing outside.

“Hello, how many?” The hostess asks.

“Two, please.” Harry says.

“That’ll be fifteen minutes. Here’s a buzzer. Feel free to grab a drink at the bar while you wait.” She smiles and he takes the buzzer from her.

“Wanna grab a drink?” You ask him.

“No, we can just get a bottle ordered for the table.” He notices your slight disappointment. “Is that alright?”

“Yeah, makes sense.”

You both wait awkwardly until the buzzer buzzes and you’re brought to a table. You take your coat off and hang it on the back of your chair, and he does the same.

“You can pick the wine.” He says, smiling. “I’m fine with whatever you like.”

“Well, I’ll wanna pick out something that would taste good with our meal. I was thinking chicken parm.”

“You know, so was I.”

“Perfect, then a bottle of red…some merlot maybe?”

“Sounds good to me.”

A waiter comes over with water and bread, and takes your full order. You butter your bread and take a bite.

“Mm, so fresh.” You say, and dab your mouth with your napkin.

“It’s delicious. I won’t even be mad at myself if I fill up on it.”

The waiter comes back with the bottle of wine and opens it for you both. He pours the glasses and leave you alone after. You both clink your glasses together and take a sip.

“So.” You say.

“So.” He repeats.

“Why is this happening?”

“Because…I-“

“I thought you didn’t want to date people you worked with.”

“You’re the exception.”

You were the exception for a lot of things. Harry only exclusively dated older women, and here you were three years younger than he was. He hated spoiled rich kids. But here you were, not so spoiled, but definitely rich. He hated brats, but here you were, knowing full well how much of a brat you could be if you really felt like it.

“Well, don’t I feel lucky.” You say, sarcastically with a smirk of your own.

“Do you not want to be on a date with me?”

“No, I do. I have for a long time, obviously.”

“Obviously.” He repeats.

“How long have you wanted to take me out for?”

“Too long.”

You smile and bite your bottom lip as he smiles and takes a careful sip of his wine.

“You know you’re cute, come off it.” He says.

“Oh, so you only like me for that fact alone?”

“Not true. I like a lot of things about you, but I’m not going to give you the satisfaction of listing them.”

Your food is brought over and you both thank the food runner before diving in. He watches as you elegantly twirl your spaghetti with your fork onto the large spoon so you don’t make a mess. He starts with his chicken.

“This is as good as I remember.” He says. “Much better company this time around though.” He grins and it makes you blush.

“I agree.”

It’s a good date, a really good date. You were able to open up to him about things you wouldn’t normally. You talked about what your friends were doing with their lives. He talked about his friends as well. Some of them were married, some of them were traveling. He was sort of just in the middle, and fine with it. You don’t finish all of your food, the plates were far too big, but you both wrap it up to take it home. Someone was bound to eat it. You’re both given minty chocolates and Harry squares up the check.

“Thanks for paying.” You say as you get your coat back on.

“Don’t mention it.” He says, taking your hand and leading you out of the restaurant.

When he pulls into the driveway of the large house, he only pulls partially in before parking, keeping the car on, heat blasting.

“What are you doing?”

“M’not ready to go in yet. Not sure I want our date to be over already.” He unbuckles and turns slightly to look at you. You unbuckle as well so you can look at him comfortably.

“Good thing it went well, could make the rest of the week pretty awkward.”

Harry laughs at that and nods his head. He grabs a tic tac from his console and pops one in his mouth.

“Want one?”

“Please.” You hold your hand out and he shakes the small container so one comes out. “People don’t value tic tacs enough. They’re the perfect little mints, you know?” You say, sucking on it.

“You’re really cute, you know that?” He leans his are on the steering wheel so he can rest his chin on his palm. He was smiling at you, just truly enjoying your company. “I have that thought at work nearly twenty times a day, and I never get to say it loud.”

“Well, you should. Nothing wrong with an ego boost, right?”

“Y/N.” He chuckles. “Why would I say something that could so easily make you uncomfortable?” His mouth forms into a straight line. “I would never want to make anyone feel uncomfortable where they work. Why do you think I keep my distance, physically? I never lean over your desk, or get too close to you.”

“I appreciate that a lot. You definitely make me feel comfortable.”

“Good. I’d feel terrible if I ever did something…”

“Harry.” You put your hand over the one he wasn’t resting his chin on. “It’s all good.” You smile. “You’ve always been really professional, and respectful.” You give him a reassuring smile. “But we’re not at work right now, so if you wanna get a little closer to me…I wouldn’t mind.”

“So, what you’re saying is…” He lifts his chin from his palm and gently cups one of you cheeks. “If I were to kiss you right now, that would be okay?”

“More than okay.”

He smiles and leans in. You close your eyes in anticipation, and smile once his lips are on yours. You always wondered if something like this would ever happen with him. It mostly happened in unclear, faded dreams. His hand gently moves to the back your neck to pull your closer to him. Your hands find the front of his jacket so you can also tug him closer to you. It was difficult kissing in the front seats of the car, but you were trying to just focus on the way he kissed you.

He sighs happily against you. You get a little carried away and take his parted lips as an invitation to gently bite down on his bottom lip. You let go of him and look up at him through your lashes. He doesn’t let you get to far away before he slots his mouth over yours, and you both essentially grope each other. The windows in the car were starting to fog as you both started breathing heavily, and you weren’t even kissing with tongue! Not yet, anyways. You both still easily tasted like Italian food, the tic tacs only helped a little. Harry could feel the front of his pants tightening and that was when he decided to pull away.

“Right.” He clears his throat and adjusts his jacket. “They’re probably wondering, uh, where we are so.”

Before you can say anything, he throws the car in drive and gets you the rest of the way up the driveway. He gets out and opens the door for you. All you do is smile. You couldn’t stop even if you wanted to. When you get inside various people are hanging around the fireplace. Some people are playing cards, and your mother was in the kitchen getting certain dishes prepared so there was less to do on Thanksgiving itself.

“Hey, you two.” Ed says, with a smile. “There’s some hot chocolate in the crockpot if you’re interested.”

“Thanks, Ed.” Harry smiles and takes his coat off. “Would you like some?”

“Please.” You say and hang up the coats.

Harry gets two mugs and fills them up with the homemade drink. Cheryl smiles at the two of you as you walk in and take a sip.

“How was dinner?” She asks.

“Good, we went to that Italian place we all went to last year. Still just as good, if not better.” You tell her.

“Glad to hear it.” She smiles. “Everyone’s just been relaxing. I think tomorrow we’re taking a trip out for a little hike, and then in the evening we’re going to look at those ice castles. They look so much better at night. Then taking a break on Thanksgiving of course. Too much cooking to do.”

“Sounds good, mum.” You finish your drink and stick the mug in the sink. “Think I’m gonna go get cozy for the night.” You give her a kiss on the cheek and give Harry a look before going to your room.

Cheryl smirks at Harry.

“What?”

“You had a good time, then?”

“Yes.” He chuckles and rinses out the two mugs. He leans against the counter and crosses his arms, studying Cheryl. “What’s your angle with all this? Mum’s usually like me, but you’re really adamant about this.”

“As Y/N’s mother, I want her to be happy. She’s gushed about you for years, and well, you’re both at an appropriate age now, I think it’s fine if you date. I know you really well, Harry. You’re not the type to hurt a girl. Even if it didn’t work out, I know you’d still be sweet about it. I trust you with her. No other angle than I think you could make her happy, I think you could make each other happy. Things didn’t work out with my first husband, that’s why divorce is a thing. Ed and I make each other happy, I didn’t have that before. I see the way you two look at each other. You have something, and it would be silly to not go for it.” She puts her knife down that she was using to chop some vegetables. “I suppose it seems like I’m trying to pimp her out, doesn’t it?” She laughs.

“Little bit.” Harry laughs with her.

“Well, I don’t mean to. She can make those choices on her own.” She looks in the direction you had walked off. “Something tells me she’s waiting for you.”

“And you’re alright with that.”

“Well, maybe just don’t get busy while we’re all under one roof, but it might be nice to have an after date chat, don’t you think? Hang out a little?”

Harry laughs and shakes his head. He makes his way down the hall where his bedroom is. He uses the bathroom, brushes his teeth, and then changes into some sweatpants. He puts a long sleeve bed shirt on as well. He opens his door and sees yours is a crack open. He taps on the door frame.

“Y/N?”

“It’s open.” You say, this time a little less loud. He opens the door and sees you on the bed in your pj’s, snuggled up. “Come in.”

He smiles and closes the door behind him. He sits down on the edge of the bed.

“Wanna watch a movie? This TV has a chromecast.”

“Great idea.” He climbs up the bed to sit next to you as you set everything up. You put an easy going comedy on.

You lean back and he puts his arm around you so you can both get really cozy. It didn’t take long until you both passed out. You woke up in the middle of the night with Harry’s arms wrapped around you, his pelvis pressed to your butt. He liked to spoon, he could sleep comfortably like this with you. You sigh and fall back to sleep easily.

//

Harry woke up before you. He presses kisses to your temple before getting out of your bed. When you turn over you feel where he slept was still warm. He must have gotten up to start his day. You were a sweaty mess after your hike. You couldn’t wait for the sun to set so you could go to the ice castles and see them all lit up.

Harry held your hand the entire time, he even wraps his arms around your chest as he walked behind you, pointing out different ways the lights hit the ice. It was very romantic. Or, it would have been if your siblings weren’t around with their kids. But nonetheless, it was nice.

The next day you all help cook and set up for a wonderful Thanksgiving dinner. You sit right next to Harry, and he holds your hand under the table. You had driven up with your mom, but you opt to drive home with Harry the next day. You both were desperate to just be alone together.

“Do you want me to drop you off so you can unpack and all that? I can come grab you later if you want.”

“That’d be great, and I can just drive myself to your place if that’s easier.”

“Whatever works.”

He helps you get all your things inside, and after a few minutes of kissing, he leaves you to go take care of his own things. You shower and freshen up after unpacking, and then hop in your car to Harry’s. You weren’t sure what your evening would look like, but you didn’t really care. You were just happy to maybe do a little more than kiss.

You text him when you get to his place, and the doorman lets you in. You get into the elevator and head up. You knock on his door and he opens it, yanking you in and shoving you up against the wall next to the door. Clearly, he wanted to do more than kiss as well.

He had one hand cupping your cheek, and the other on the side of your neck to keep you in place. You wrap your arms around his neck and pull him closer. His hands drift down your sides, and you feel yourself being hoisted up. You wrap your legs around his waist and he carries you down the hall to his bedroom. You tug at his hair as your tongue slips into his mouth. His molds to yours as he sets you down. He groans into you and it sends a shiver up your spine. You couldn’t take it anymore.

“Get on the bed.” You tell him. He sits down, but your shake your head. “Sit all the way back, I’m not kneeling on the hard wood.”

His eyebrows fly up when he realizes what you’re talking about. He quickly gets back further on the bed. You crawl on, and sit on his lap. He kisses on your neck while you roll your hips down on his. His hands slide to your ass to grope and squeeze at you. You nip at his lips before getting of his lap and settling between his legs. Your fingers fiddle with the button and zipper on his jeans.

“Is this okay?” You ask, looking up at him.

“Yes.” He breathes. “Do whatever you want.”

You grin and slide your hand inside his jeans, palming him above his boxers. His head rolls back from your touch alone. It was something he’s wanted for so long. You tug his jeans down, he lifts his hips to help you, and you get them all the way off. You lift his shirt slightly to kiss on his tattooed stomach as you work your way down. You tug his boxers down and his hard dick springs out, slapping against his stomach. Your eyes grow wide and you look up at him.

“Jesus.” You say under your breath as you start to rub your thumb over his tip.

“Fuck.” He breathes as his head rolls back again. He felt like he was being pampered.

You let go of him, only for a minute, to get some spit on your hand. You start pumping him up and down, slowly at first. You gets yourself settled on your knees, leaning forward so your ass was in the air, and you kiss his tip. He looks down as you swirl your tongue around him before sinking further down on his hard dick. You couldn’t take all of him, even if you tried, so you pump what won’t fit. One of his hands slides down your back and down to your ass to squeeze at you. His other hand works through your hair to hold it back for you. He moans out when you swallow around him and really start bobbing your head up and down.

“Feels so good, Y/N, fuck.” His hips buck up involuntarily, causing you to gag slightly on him. “Sorry, babe.”

You squeeze one his thighs to let him know it’s okay. Your eyes flicker to his tiger tattoo, and if you weren’t sucking him off you’d smile at it. Harry was so interesting. You couldn’t wait to learn everything about him. Like right now, you couldn’t wait to learn how he tasted, how he really tasted.

“Oh god, fuck, I’m gonna come.” He says through gritted teeth. “Y/N, you don’t have to, ah!”

One of your hands slides up to his throat. You just needed him to shut up for a second so you could focus on the task at hand. His eyes were wild while he looked down at the scene before him. Your little hand wrapped around his throat while you sucked on him vigorously. You move up to just suck his tip while his come shoots into your mouth. You suck and suck until he can’t stand it anymore. You pop off him and let his throat go free. You make eye contact with him while you swallow.

“You…you didn’t have to do that.” He says, while trying to get his breath.

“I know, I wanted to.” You wipe the corners of your mouth, and tug his boxers back up. He winces slightly from the sensitivity.

“Alright.” He lifts his shirt up overhead and pins you down, you giggle at his sudden movements. “Your turn.” He unzips, your pants, but you stop him.

“I can’t.”

“Wh-why not?” He pouts.

“I got my period this morning.”

“Of course.” He sighs and hangs his head.

“Sorry.” You giggle and runs your hand through his curls.

“It’s okay, know you have no control over it.” He sits back up against the headboard and pulls you into his arms. “That was really nice, thank you.” He pecks your lips and you smile.

“My pleasure.”

“Want me to order something for dinner? I haven’t had a chance to go grocery shopping yet.”

“How does Chinese sound?”

“Perfect.” He kisses you again before getting off his bed. You lay back and sigh. His bed was really comfy, you could get used to this.

//

Monday morning everyone was feeling refreshed from the holiday. You and Harry drove separately since you still finished work earlier than him. He walks you upstairs like always, only this time before he goes into his office to change out of his gym clothes, he gives you a kiss and a pat on the bum. He knew he had to be careful, though, not too much PDA in the office.

Once he was changed he comes out of his office. You had his coffee ready to go like always. He takes it happily, but decides to speak up.

“I wanna start getting my own coffee.”

“Why?” You frown.

“I feel weird with you doing that kind of stuff for me now that we’re…involved.”

“Oh, is that what we’re calling it?” You smirk.

“Hanging out, dating, whatever.” He shrugs. “Getting me coffee doesn’t fall under the umbrella other tasks as assigned.”

“But it did before?” You raise an eyebrow at him.

“Only because it was an excuse to have a nice chat in the morning.” He smiles and sips his coffee. “You understand what I’m trying to say, though, right?”

“I do.” You smile at him, and then bite your lip. “Um…when do you, I mean, should we…”

“Let’s see how things go before we go to H.R., yeah?”

He could read your mind, and it gave you some relief.

“Okay.”

He winks at you and goes back into his office. He had a ton of emails to answer from being off last week.

“Y/N?” He calls for you and you go right in.

“Yes?” He shoots his eyes at you. “Mr. Styles.” You grin.

“If I forward you a few emails, could answer some people for me? I hate to make you the middle man, but some of this doesn’t need my attention.”

“Of course! Happy to help.” You smile.

“Thanks you.” He smiles back. “Would you mind closing my door? I have some calls to make.”

You nod and close the door behind you. He forwards you about ten emails, but you didn’t mind. It gave you something to do. You worked fast, so you often would get bored. He’s in and out of his office once his calls are made. When noon finally rolls around he comes out of his office and drums his fingers on your desk. You were standing up, thanks to having that kind of desk, and had your earbuds in. You raise an eyebrow at him and pause your music.

“Yes?”

“It’s lunch time.” He grins.

“So it is.”

“Would you like to join me?”

“Where?”

“Just in my office.” He shrugs.

“Alright.” You smile. “I just need to heat my food up.”

“Great, come in when you’re all set.”

You go to the breakroom to grab your good. You lean on the counter next to the microwave as you wait for your food to heat up. Paula and a couple of other women walk in.

“Oh, hi, Y/N.” She says.

“Hi ladies, have a good Thanksgiving.”

“Yeah, it was good. Probably not as good as yours though. Must be nice to go skiing.”

“It’s an old family tradition.”

“Well, it’s not just family though, is it?” She scoffs and grabs her good out of the fridge.

“Everyone that goes might as well be.” The microwave beeps and you grab your food. “Is there a problem?”

“Not at all.” She shrugs and puts her food in the microwave. “Must be nice, is all.”

“What?”

“To just get everything you want all the time.” Another woman says.

“I don’t…I work really hard for the things I have.”

“Right, must be nice to just pay mommy rent while you live in her pool house.”

“She’s alone a lot. My step-dad is a pilot, he’s not home with her when she’d like him to be. I wanted to move out and she asked me if I’d want to live in our…you know what? I don’t owe any of you an explanation. You can just be bitter.” You scoff and leave quickly. You go right into Harry’s office and sit down with a huff.

“Everything alright?”

“No.” You shake your head and angry stick your fork into your lunch. “There’s a bunch of bitches that work here, and I’m annoyed.” You sigh. “You don’t think everything’s been handed to me, do you?”

“I think you’ve lived a very blessed life, but your mum’s done a good job raising you. I’ve seen you act like a real brat before, but I wouldn’t call you spoiled or anything.”

“Gee, thanks.” You roll your eyes.

“Tell me what happened, what’s going on?”

“Paula and her crones were a little rude to me in the breakroom.”

“They’re just mad because I don’t pay them the time of day, and they’re jealous you work for me. I’m sorry you’re getting the brunt of that.”

“It’s okay…maybe we should go to H.R. sooner then. If they find out about anything before we disclose…they could just make it worse. The whole thing just feels so high school, it’s fucking stupid. Grow up.” You shake your head and take a bite of your food. You look at him. He had his chin resting on his palm, smiling at you. “What?”

“Nothing, you’re just cute when you get all fired up.”

“You think everything I do is cute.” You chuckle.

“You got me there.” He takes a bite of his own food. “We can go down a bit before you leave for the day if you like. I don’t want you feeling uncomfortable with anything. And…I mean…do you want me to talk to your mum?”

“About what?”

“I can tell her that the other women have been rude. I can tell her what they’ve said to me before too. Or I could just straight up talk to them myself. I don’t care.”

“Let’s just go to H.R. first.” You take a sip of your water. “I don’t wanna add fuel to the fire.”

“Fair enough.” He sighs. “So, how would you like to come over tonight? I have stuff to make this chicken and noodle dish in my instant pot. Only takes like thirty minutes once it’s altogether.”

“That sounds amazing, but I can’t. I make dinner with mom on Mondays. We make a big casserole that we can have during the week. You could come over if you wanted. You know how much she loves when you come over for dinner.”

“I wouldn’t want to intrude.”

“You wouldn’t be, please, come to dinner.”

“Alright.” He smiles. “Um…” His voice gets a little quieter. “How’s your, uh, are you still, um…?”

“Yes, I still have my period.” You chuckle. “I promise, once it’s done, you’ll be the first to know.”

“Thanks, I appreciate that.” He stands up from his desk and comes over to you. He cups your cheeks in his hands and leans in to kiss you. Just as his lips were on yours, there’s a knock on his door. “Jesus Christ.” He groans. He walks over to the door and opens it. “Yes?”

“Hi, Harry.”

“Oh, hi, Jennifer.”

“I came by because I have some of that pumpkin br-“ She stops when she sees you sitting. “Sorry, am I interrupting?”

“Just a little lunch meeting.” You say, standing up. “Lots of emails and meetings to get through this afternoon. Mr. Styles wanted us on the same page. Excuse me.” You stand up and look at him before leaving.

“Leave it open, please.” He says to you and you nod.

“Anyways, I brought you that pumpkin bread you like so much.”

“Ah, thank you. You didn’t have to do that.” He takes it from her and he puts it on his desk.

“Well, you raved about it last year, so I made sure to make more.” She blushes. “How was your break? You went skiing with Cheryl’s family, right?”

“Yeah…it was fun. I get along well with everyone.”

“Must be nice to be so close with the boss.”

“I suppose.”

“Anyways, um, do you have plans Friday?”

You hear her ask it, and your eyes widen with rage. You never really realized how much people through themselves at him.

“Uh, well, this is sort of awkward, but I’m sort of seeing someone, and I’ll probably be seeing them Friday, sorry.”

“Oh! I’m so sorry, Harry.” Her face goes red. “I had no idea.”

“Well, that’s the funny thing about having a personal life, it’s, uh, personal.”

You can’t help but laugh when you hear him say that. You clap your hand over your mouth so they don’t hear you. You watch Jennifer leave his office in defeat. He comes out to you.

“I’m so sorry you had to hear that.”

“Oh, it’s fine.” You shake your head. “So, you’re seeing someone, huh? I wonder how long that’ll take to spread around.” You raise an eyebrow at him.

“Very funny. What did you want me to say, that I have a girlfriend? Haven’t really had that conversation yet have we?”

“Conversation about what?” Your mom says. “Harry, we have a meeting in five, get your laptop. Phil’s in on this one.” She rolls her eyes. “Hi, honey.” She smiles at you.

“Hi.” You smile back. “Can Harry join for dinner tonight?”

“Course he can, happy to have him.” She looks back at Harry. “Let’s go.”

Harry grabs his laptop and follows your mom.

//

Around 4PM, Harry grabs you so you both can go see Mary in H.R.

“Hi you two.” She smiles. “To what do I owe this visit?”

“Mary, Y/N and I are, uh, seeing each other.”

“Oh! Well, that’s great. Is it serious?”

“It could become serious, it’s still new.” You say. “We just wanted to do the right thing and disclose it.”

“And did this start on company property?”

“No.” You say at the same time.

“Alright then, let me get the forms. Y/N, you know things could get sticky with Harry being your supervisor.”

“I know, we’ve discussed it.”

“And…your mother…?”

“She’s thrilled.” You say with a smile.

“Alright, here you go. Fill these out and bring them back to me tomorrow morning.”

“Can do, thanks Mary.” Harry smiles.

Harry walks you out to your car and gives you a quick peck on the cheek goodbye. He tells you he’ll be over around seven for dinner, and you tell him to bring something to sleep in.

//

“Wait, so has everyone in our office hit on you?” Your mom asks Harry as she spoons him some lasagna. “Why did you tell me before?”

“It wasn’t really a big deal.” He shrugs.

“It’s bound to get around that he’s seeing someone, and it’ll only be a matter of time before everyone finds out it’s me.”

“Well, then, they’ll just have to deal with it, won’t they? We’re all adults.” She shakes her head as she sits down. “If anyone has an issue, they can bring it up to me.”

Everyone takes a bite of the lasagna.

“Mm, well done, Y/N.” Your mom says.

“Yeah, it’s delicious.” Harry smiles at you.

“Thanks.”

After dinner, you and Harry say goodnight to your mom and head out to the pool house. You settle in on your couch for some TV and much needed snuggles.

“Does your mum ever leave to visit Ed on his routes?”

“On the weekends sometimes, why?”

“Well, if you don’t wanna be alone on the property, you can always stay with me.”

“Aww.” You kiss him on the cheek. “Thanks.” You shift yourself so you can straddle his lap, and bury your head in the crook of his neck. He wraps his arms around you and rubs your back.

“Feels nice to just do this.”

“Mhm.” You nuzzle into him further.

“Comfortable?” He chuckles.

“You have no idea.” You kiss his neck and sigh. “Wanted this for so long, Harry.” You kiss his neck again, and linger a little this time.

“Don’t.”

“What?”

“You’re gonna get me all riled up, and I can’t do anything to you that I want to.”

“I could just take care of you again, I don’t mind.”

“But I wanna be able to take care of you, Y/N.”

You lift your head so you can look at him.

“Just a few more days, then I’m all yours.”

“Can’t wait.”

“So…do we really have plans Friday night?”

“Sure.” He smirks. “Anything you have in mind?”

“I need to go to the mall to do some holiday shopping. Feel up to it?”

“The mall on a Friday after work?” He raises his eyebrows. “You’re serious?”

“I’m an expert shopper.” You peck at his lips. “And if you come with me you’ll get a reward.”

“Oh, I like the sound of that.”

//

Friday after work, you and harry drive out to the mall. Everyone at work seemed pretty cool the rest of the week. Maybe a memo went out? You tried not to question it. All you could focus on was how cute Harry looked in his suit while walking around the mall with you. You at least had the sense to change.

“Let’s see, mom’s been looking for a new baking set, so let’s stop in at Crate and Barrel, first.”

“Sounds good.”

Harry basically just follows you in and out of a ton of different stores. He’s a perfect gentleman and carries all your bags. You insist you can carry some, but he tells you you’re crazy, and you just keep walking. Eventually you walk by a Victoria’s Secret. You hadn’t shopped there in a really long time since it was super overrated, but a wicked idea comes over you.

“Harry, are you getting hungry?”

“Starved.”

“Why don’t we go to Chipotle? Just have something quick? I need to stop into a couple more stores. You know what I like form there, right?”

“The tacos.”

“Exactly, why don’t you head in and I’ll meet you, yeah?”

“Works for me.”

You watch him walk away before going into the store. Your period ended Wednesday, but you two hadn’t had time to get intimate. You look at a few things, and fine a cute little turquoise set that you think he’d like.

“Would I be able to buy this and then go change into it?” You ask the woman at the register.

“Of course, miss.”

You find Harry in Chipotle, and scarf down your tacos. He gets everything you bought into the car and off you go.

“Mine or yours, babe?” He asks.

“Let’s go to yours. Your bed is so comfy.”

“So is yours.” He rubs his hand over your thigh.

“I do my best.” You chuckle. “But I’d definitely rather go to yours tonight.”

He smiles and takes the exit for his apartment. You tell him the bags can just stay in the trunk for now. You both get upstairs, and he sighs with relief when he gets his tie off.

“Just gonna change.” He says to you.

“That’s a good idea, I’ll do the same.”

You follow him in and he raises an eyebrow at you.

“Where’s your bag?”

“Oh, I just figured you’d be give me something to wear.”

“Sure!” He turns to his dresser. “Do you want sweatpants, shorts, just a big…” he turns back to you and his jaw drops when he sees your lingerie. “When…where…what’s happening right now?”

“Why do you think I sent you off to get food?” You stroll over to his and run your hands up his chest. “Do you like it?”

“You look incredible. Been dreaming about this.”

He wraps his arms around you and kisses you. You moan when his hands run down your back and down to your ass.

“I’m gonna treat you so well, make you feel amazing because you don’t deserve anything less.”

He lays you down on the bed and strips down to his boxers. He hovers over you and kisses down your chest. He sucks on the fleshy area that’s spilling out of the top of your lacey bra. His hands move around your to unhook it, and he gets it off of you all the way. He sucks on each of your nipples, swirling his tongue around, really putting a show on for you.

“You always smell so fucking good, I love your perfume.” He says as he kisses down your stomach.

“I knew you liked it.” You run a hand through his hair. “I just had to keep wearing it.”

“Drives me crazy. It’s the sweetest smell in the world.”

He sucks a nice bruise on your hip while his thumb trails over the lace material of your panties. He could see that you’re wet for him already, he can feel it to once his thumb pushes gently inside. You groan while he does it.

“Please, don’t tease me, Harry.”

“But that’s the best part. Gotta really make sure you want it.”

“I do, I swear, please, just take them off.

“You went to all this trouble to buy these for me, shame for them to go to waste.” He kisses you through the material and your hips buck up towards his mouth. “So reactive.” He smirks.

“You know, I could easily just go home and do this myself, so if you want to-“

“Don’t be like that.” He pouts and hooks his fingers into his panties. “I’m simply trying to savor the moment. I’m about to see this precious little cunt for the first time. You have no idea how honored I feel.”

He slides your panties down your legs and tosses them aside. He kisses both of your knees before spreading your legs apart. He gazes at you.

“It’s beautiful.”

“Harry.” You giggle and kick at him. “Stop it.” You were starting to blush.

“Can’t help it.”

He gets settled between your legs and spreads you apart with his thumbs. He uses his fingers to rub around your already slick folds. He sucks the same fingers into his mouth and it makes you bite your bottom lip. His middle finger runs along your center before slowly pushing inside. You gasp when you feel the cool of his ring hit you. He pumps it in and out of you, just trying to gauge how tight you may be.

“When was the last time?”

“When was the last time what?” You grunt.

“You’re really tight, not complaining, but I don’t wanna hurt you.”

“I don’t know, um, I can’t really think right now while you’re doing that.”

“Alright.” He takes his finger away from you completely and you whimper.

“The last time it was someone, and not just one of my dildos was over the summer, alright?”

“When do you use the-“

“Not that often, only sometimes. I’ll fucking let you use one on me sometime if it means you’ll just keep working me over, please, Harry.” You pout at him.

“Can’t say no to that can I?”

He uses both of his hands to keep your legs open, and he dives right in. He licks all around you and sucks on your clit harshly.

“Oh my god.” You tug at his hair just as hard it makes him groan against you.

You feel his teeth graze over the little nub, and it makes you clench around nothing. You wanted his fingers again, but he needed his hands on your thighs to keep you open. He pulls up from you.

“Ride my face.”

“What?!”

“Come on, come sit on my face. I’ll fuck you with my tongue, it’ll feel great.”

He lays back with his head on the pillow and gestures for you to come to him. You shrug and straddle his face. You gasp when you feel his tongue on you again. You grip at his head board, and your eyes roll into the back of your head when you feel the slight scruff on his chin rub up against you. He gets his tongue inside you, and you essentially start riding it. His hands grip your hips, pressing bruises into your plushy skin.

“Oh my god, Harry, holy shit.”

The bed was shaking at this point. You thought you might be hurting him, but when you looked down his eyes were closed and he looked like he was in pure bliss fucking you with his tongue.

“Fuck, oh my god, fuck, fuck!” You scream as you feel your release come.

You feel Harry suck on your cunt so he doesn’t miss a drop of anything. He slowly lifts you off of him so he can get some air. His mouth, chin, and a little of his nose were wet with your slick.

“Sorry.” You use your hand to clean him up.

“Don’t be.” He licks his lips. “You taste so fucking good, could do that for hours.”

“How about you use your dick instead?”

“You’re ready for that? We don’t have to move that fast if you don’t want to.”

“Harry, I really want you to fuck me. I’ve wanted you to fuck me for five fucking years, please.”

He grabs you by your throat and pins you down on the bed.

“No need to beg, darling, all you had to do was say you wanted to.” He lets you go and kiss your lips. He stands up off the bed and takes his boxers off. “See, I’m getting nice and naked for you.” He smirks. “Do I need to use a condom or…?”

“Nah, I have an IUD. Wanna feel you.”

He smiles and gets back on the bed. He pumps himself a couple of times and spreads you back apart. He pushes inside you and you can’t help but moan loudly. You’ve been dreaming of this moment for so long, and so has he. It’s incredibly satisfying.

“Ngh, you’re so fucking big, it feels so good.” Your head rolls back as he bottoms out.

He starts moving slowly as he buries his face in your neck. He sucks on your soft skin and lets it go with a pop.

“Fuck.” You breathe.

He snakes a hand between the two of you so he rub at your throbbing clit. You knead one of your own breasts, but he swats your hand away so he can do it.

“You just need to tell me what you want, want you like, and I’ll do it, okay?”

“Okay.”

He dips his head to suck on your nipple and your hands move to his back to dig your nails in. You start tightening around him when you feel his fingers rub your clit with more precision.

“Oh, shit. Oh my god, Harry!” You were panting. You felt like your heart was going to beat out your chest. Your back arches when you come again.

“Feel so fucking good, Y/N.” He fucks your through it, and wait for your to calm down before pulling out. You whimper at the loss of him. “Don’t worry, got a nice position for us I think you’ll like.

He sits up against the head board, and gets you in his lap, facing away from him. You were on his dick again and it felt amazing. You back was flush with his chest, and your head was on his shoulder. His tongue was in your mouth while one of his hands was rubbing your clit in rhythm with his thrusts, and the other was snaked around your chest to keep you in place.

His mouth leaves yours so he can kiss on your neck and shoulder. He looks down at the way he’s rubbing you and then at your face. Your head was rolled back into his shoulder and you were biting your bottom lip.

“Feels good, babe?”

“Feels amazing.” You tighten around him.

“Wanna come together?”

“Yes.”

“Alright, just hold on for me.”

He stops rubbing you, and moves both of his hands to your hips. He moves you up and down faster so you were basically bouncing up and down on him. He was hitting your g-spot perfectly.

“Harry, fuck!”

“Hold on, Y/N.” He groans. “Almost there.”

“Harry, please!”

“One second.”

All of the blood in your body was rushing to your ears, you felt like you couldn’t hear anymore. Your vision was starting to go blurry as well. He nips at your earlobe and then you feel his breath on you.

“Come for me, baby.” He whispers and that’s when you let go.

You feel his warm come shoot up inside you. You cry out as your orgasm prolongs. It was so good, so very good. You both slowly catch your breaths from the ordeal. Your legs felt like gelatin as you stood. You desperately needed to pee.

When you come back out he tosses you a large t-shirt. You giggle and put it on, and then crawl into bed with him. He throws his arm around you as you snuggle up to his chest.

“I don’t wanna sound clingy, but I hope you know, I’m never letting you go.” You say, pressing kisses to cheek, neck, and chest.

“Lucky for you, I like clingy. M’not letting you go either.” He presses a kiss to your forehead, and you both get settled into a goodnight’s sleep.

//

After basically staying in bed with Harry all weekend, you found it difficult to concentrate at work. You had so many scenarios in your head, but the one you wanted most was for him to bend you over his desk, but he made it clear with you that the office was off limits. He explained that he didn’t want to do anything to risk losing his job. You had to respect that.

The holidays came and went. You each got each other something small since you had only been together for about a month, but you spent the New Year together and it was just wonderful. Most people at work knew you were dating Harry. It was hard not to when he’d randomly get you flowers to keep on your desk, or when he might steal glances of you during a meeting.

Once summer came around again, and you had been there for an entire year, you were up for a promotion. You were excited because it involved you having your own office, but you were sad that you wouldn’t be handling things for Harry anymore. You had to train a new assistant, and you were even less thrilled when you saw it was just some girl fresh out of her undergrad. You thought you’d be jealous, but you watched how Harry was with her. She was to only call him Mr. Styles, and he did the same things with her as he did with you. He never got too close, the door was rarely closed if they were alone together, and a picture of you was front and center on his desk. No room for funny business.

He loved staying over at your place, and swimming in the pool with you, especially at night, and especially when your mom was away. You could get away with skinny dipping, which meant getting away with getting fucked in the pool. You’d cook together and hang out almost every night.

“Hey.” He says to one Saturday afternoon as you both were laying out by the pool.

“Yeah?”

“I’m in love with you.”

“Harry.” You chuckle. “You say it like you haven’t been saying it for the last six months.” All he does is pout at you. “I’m in love with you too.”

He smiles and goes back to facing front, taking a sip of his drink. Life was good, life was very, very good.