#maybe i *AM* talkshow boy

[nintendont2502]

ur probably asleep when im sending this um check this out:

...

how did you know

[wav3y-zzz]

Didn't realise I'd have to state the obvious over here in the cool kidz club, but if you are a pedo nonce proshipper, GET UP OUT OF HERE!!!!🤢🤮 NO LANKY NONCES ON MY ACCOUNT EWWWWWWWW YUCKY!!!!!!!! THOU HAST BEEN WARNED!!!! ⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️🚫🚫🚫🚫🚫🚫

If you a proshipper like actually just piss off, I can't be bothered ✋️🙄

Anyway intro post time ig!!!!! Sorry NOT SORRY about allat at the top, just want to make it clear I don't want any creeps on my account.

The names Wav3y! I don't really mind what people call me, but yk Wav3y is I and I is Wav3y, calling me anything else would just be kinda strange yk 😋

He/him pronouns maybe?? Again I don't really care

Fairly standard dni criteria, proshippers or any of the other variants, racists, homophobes ect. Also dni if you're just like unfunny I don't want among us jokes up in here, I already have to deal with unfunny people in my day to day life I don't wanna have to deal with them online too

I like to do ART in case you haven't noticed, but I also like other things, like music. 90s and early 00s music if we're being specific, im really into Talkshow boy mostly, but there are a ton of other things i listen to,,,,,old music kicks ass yall just dont get it. Also, i mostly collect fnaf merch and monster high dolls in case you wanted to know how insufferable i am!🤑

I LIKE OTHER THINGS ALSO!!!!👍 HISTORY I LOVE HISTORY AND HISTORY RELATED THINGS,,,,, like clone high and horrible histories! Mathew Baynton my beloved.. I'm the biggest FNAF fan I've been into the games for years, it's pretty much one of the only things I've liked consistently for years. I like the games, the books and OMG THE MOVIE NOW which feels so crazy to say after all this time. I of course like other games, I like cookie run ovenbreak (not kingdom) and also undertale (I ❤️ METTATON). And ya, I DO LIKE GOTHIC LIT, i especially like when the book is about mad science (yes i do know everything there is to know about jekyll and hyde).In case you couldn't tell I do get weirdly obsessed with random fictional characters, must be the autism..

I've got a couple of other socials, like tiktok and Instagram, but I ain't really all that active on them, JUST STAY HERE ON TUMBLR YOU GUYS! (no but like actually do follow me on tiktok or whatever)

(Anyways feel free to ask me random stuff, send drawing requests idc go crazy)

[thatonegaybastard]

Simon playlist!

Hello remember the Reiki playlist? This is the Simon playlist. It's not quite done but here's it so far

Warning for lik. Depressing themes and maybe suicidal themes and potentially overstimulating music also flashing lights and bright and rapidly shifting colors!!!!! And some suggestive and religious themes (more religious themes then sexual) and likem violence and blood

Also one of the dongs might have spoilers for a game called Cell of Empirio I'm not 100% sure so if you're wary of spoilers for that then beware

Songs and my silly commentary on them under the cut

White Happy by Maretu (English cover by Milkychan) - Literally the most Simon song ever also I live this song so much. Idk why I put an English cover of this song but not the other songs in other languages on this playlis. I really like this cover tho so I'll allow it

Chiri Chiro Juso (Dust Dust Curse) by Kikuo - Depressing song about death. I could see this being like from Simons point of view of himself and during his death

HURT by 1800 PAIN (I think) - They do wanna see you hurt. Idk how I feel about this song in general tbh

Montreal by Penelope Scott - Ok this song just makes me depressed about life and not even like in the good way it's a good song but like. Cries.Anyways this fots Simon a lot he won't make it to Montreal guys same

Sweet Hibiscus Tea by Penelope Scott - like most songs here it just fits him pretty well idk I might remove this so g I do t even have much to say

Angel Eyes and Basketball by Foot Ox - Good song I wish it was longer tbh it scartches my brain. We get it Simon is depressed /j

Cradles by Sub Urban - um

The Chattering Lack of Common Sense by GHOST - This song reminds meminds me of Simon and Beau specifically this is just the duo where one is probably murderous song to me. Also this omg is just so good I love it so much <3333 Simon would be the guy in the hoodie with bandages over his eyes his name is arc

IN MY MOUTH by Black Dresses - Why'd idd I add this song. I dobt know.it just fits kind of trust me (I kinda forgot I added this song to the playlist)

there I am, there I am again by RP_A (I think??????? I'm not sure) - This song isn't super specific to Simon actually it mostly just fits the Lore™ its more of a Rosa song tbh

SCAPEG∞AT by GHOST - okay one good so g obviously but also this song is mostly just on the playlist because of the chorus it fits Simon so fucking much like what the fuck- also the ending parts- also unrelated but these guys have deity oc vibes tbh

Dr Gaster by Shadrow - Teehee :) (lore)

I'm Difficult by Talkshow Boy - Making you guys listen to talkshow boy not sorry /j /nf

Abnornality Dancing Girl by Guchiry - Okay this song doesn't exactly for him because of what it's probably about but the chorus fits him alot and so does the ending part. Also I'm making some art of him base don this sign it'll probably be a while until i finish because it's not super high priority but yeah :)

Fry Me In a Pan by Talkshow Boy - You will listen to my favorite Talkshow Bky songs. Might remove this one too tbh

Orthodoxia by Gunchiry - Okay doesn't necessarily fit Simon specifically if anything he'd be one of the religious followers but like. (Then again he also lives off the misfortunes of others) The lore was literally inspired from this sign and also it fuckign slaps I can't NOT include it wtf

Kitchen Fork by Gustavuo Rubio (I think) - Also one of the most Simon songs ever. Something is very wrong with this man

Also I ahvent added this yet but I think it's be funny if I added the happy song that's like "I am really special cuz there sonly one of me look at my smile I'm so damn happy all the people are jealous of me" yknow the ond

[cwarscars]

(( i think one of the main things i admire about the pws stuff is the fact that we've actually got to see a slightly more human side of heidegger.

like, one thing that irks me to no end writing this character is the fact that people seem to believe a man like heid or pres.shinra or a woman like scarlet etc are just the same sort of person all of the time.

like, characters like sephiroth, genesis etc are allowed to have personalities. sephiroth tries to destroy the entire planet but we're allowed to see him as a younger, softer, nicer guy. he's the poster boy for war and legit fights & ( i assume ) kills in the wutai war, but we're allowed to see him as a human. even the turks - whose job is fucked up on many levels; the fandom sees as having cute little moments and down-to-earth times...but the execs?

there's this belief that like, because they're all older than 30 & are the 'big bads' of the game in a cooperate sense - it means that they're not allowed to be human and i really resent that.

like, give me scarlet being supportive of other women in the workplace, having a slot on a talkshow where she talks about female empowerment, or give me a moment of her sitting in the breakroom desperately avoiding conversation with hojo. give me heidegger fawning over his dumb little airbuster, making lame dad jokes while he dotes on his soldiers behind the scenes (seriously, calling sephiroth cute? - still not over it). give me president shinra having RUFUS' NAME AS HIS PASSWORD.

my god, seeing human sides of these characters is so much more fun than seeing the boring two-dimensional 'POWERFUL MAN BAD' take.

this turned into a rant but what i'm saying is that i am now a simp for powerwasher game cause it gave me more insight into heid's personality than like, any other content ever has aside from maybe the concept book / SOME scenes in game. it just - urgh - ))

[kittenfangirl20]

Adam: Cain, look everywhere for Charlie.

Cain: Yes dad.

*Lucifer and Adam were being ushered into a limo taking them to an interview because the humans thought they were some famous couples getting married, which made Adam and Lucifer separated from the rest of the group*

Adam internally: I wish I was getting married to Luci.

*they were shoved in a room that was preparing them for the interview*

Adam: Did you really mean it?

Lucifer: Mean what?

Adam: Mean it when you said I was beautiful.

Lucifer: I meant it 100%, the last few months have been a worse Hell than the one we live in because you are no longer in my life and it is all my fault. I am so fucking sorry.

*Lucifer reached over and caressed Adam’s cheek, Adam’s lip trembled and Lucifer was so tempted to kiss him*

Adam: I forgive you.

*the crew swept in and got them ready, Adam blushed even more realizing they thought he was a woman when they put him in a stylish dress, put extensions in his hair, and put makeup on him, he noted that Lucifer was practically drooling because of how the dress clung to his body, they were led out to a cheering crowd and smarmy talk show host that made them both think of Vox, Adam gently nudged Lucifer*

Adam: Maybe he is related to Vox.

*that comment made Lucifer giggle, they sat down as the crowd cheered*

Talkshow host: You two are the talk of the town, getting married and having a baby-

Adam: Babies, I recently found out I am having twins. A boy and a girl.

*but Adam was looking right at Lucifer when he said this, the teary smile Lucifer gave Adam melted Adam’s heart*

Lucifer: Twins…… they will be as beautiful as their mother.

*pretty much everyone in the audience went awwwww hearing that*

Talkshow host: Wait, where is your engagement ring?

Lucifer: Don’t worry, she accidentally dropped and I forgot to give it back.

*Lucifer pulled out the most beautiful ring Adam had ever seen, but he noticed Lucifer’s lips moving without saying anything, Adam nearly started crying tears of joy when he realized the lip movements were saying “I love you Addie, will you marry me,” Adam just held out his hand and nodded while he made the lip movements sayin “I love you too Luci,” Lucifer slid the ring on Adam’s finger, he realized what this meant, once the divorce between Lucifer and Lilith was finalized he was actually going to marry Adam, Adam couldn’t help it and he gave Lucifer a very passionate kiss as they clung to each other*

Cletus: How can you celebrate that freak.

*Cletus was pointing at Adam which made Lucifer glare at both Cletus and Keenie, but Collin looked uncomfortable because he didn’t want Adam to get hurt*

Lucifer: DON’T TALK TO MY FIANCÉ THAT WAY!!!!!

*Lucifer went into his demon form which caused the studio to catch on fire, Lucifer then picked up Adam*

Lucifer: We need to find Charlie now.

*Adam nodded, he already cared a lot about Charlie and he hoped that Charlie would care about him too, Lucifer then held Adam as he flew off*

@things-arent-what-they-seem66

Stoliz Au

Adam sipped on his coffee out of his "Hell's Greatest Boss" mug as he overlooked Pentagram City. His workers, Lute and Emily were at the conference table trying to figure out ways they could get to the human world.

Adams oldest son Cain sat there on his phone looking very interested in anything that had to do with work.

Here at Adams Angelic Assassination, they started out by protecting sinners. Either from other demons or from angels on extermination day.

Turns out people would pay a pretty penny to have someone on earth killed.

It has been a few years since Adam was cast out of heaven for questioning things. They took his halo and his powers before casting him down.

Lute and Emily didn't want him to be alone in Hell so they willingly fell. Adam reconnected with his son who was homeless at the time.

They all needed money so that's when Adam came up with the idea for his business.

Lute sighed: It's impossible! There is no way to the human releam without our angelic powers.

Emily: It's okay Lute, we'll figure something out.

Adam turned: She's right Lute! And I actually have a plan.

Lute: You do?

Adam: I do. I know of a book and where I can get it. It's our ticket up top.

Yes Adam knew where to get this book, but could he sneak in and out without being noticed.

Emily: How will you get it?

Adam smirked: Leave it to me and my stealth skills.

*Adam scouted out the royal palace, he knew the largest collection of demonic grimoires were housed in the Morningstar palace including one that could take him to Earth, thankfully Adam still had his angel wings so he fly over the gates surrounding the palace, there was a party going on, his eyes went to Lucifer who was off in a corner drinking while Lilith was talking with her friends, Adam’s heart filled with longing over seeing his first love, but Adam was here for a reason and it was to get a spell book, he hid his wings thankful for the all black outfit he took to wearing now that he could use to hide in the shadows, but before he could open the door to Lucifer’s room, he was tackled by a pair of hellhounds who dragged him to Lucifer*

Adam: Shit.

*Lucifer was chugging down a bottle of absinthe when he saw a pair of hellhound guards drag Adam in front of him, Adam had a sheepish smile on his face and he couldn’t help but realize how handsome Adam was, in fact he had a strong desire to pin Adam to the bed and have his way with him since he hadn’t shared a bed with Lilith since Charlie was born*

Hellhound 1: We saw this man trying to sneak into your room.

Hellhound 2: What should we do with him?

Lucifer: I will deal with him myself, don’t tell anyone what you saw.

*the hellhounds handed Adam over to Lucifer and the former angel reluctantly followed Lucifer up to his room, once they were alone Adam became nervous*

Adam: Look, I can explain-

*Adam’s words were cut off when Lucifer kissed him on the lips, Adam found himself returning the kiss enjoying the feeling*

Lucifer: I missed you so much Adam, in more ways than one.

*Adam felt himself getting wet with desire, one of the punishments was they took away Adam’s favorite thing, his dick, before throwing him out of Heaven and now he had a pussy instead much to his annoyance, but now he saw a way to use it to his advantage and it would give him something he had always wanted*

Adam: You realized what you missed out on and now you can have it.

Lucifer: Yes.

*they ended up on the bed, they kissed as they frantically pulled off their clothes down to their underwear, Lucifer rubbed the underwear covered erection against the wet area of Adam’s panties, they pulled off their underwear and Lucifer slid into Adam, Adam had to hold back a moan of pleasure by biting into Lucifer’s shoulder which made Lucifer even more turned on, Adam moved his hips along with Lucifer’s thrusts, after a long and passionate dance on the bed, Adam climaxed and Lucifer cum inside of Adam*

Lucifer: That was amazing, is there a way I could convince you to come around more often.

Adam: Maybe if you let me borrow a grimoire to help me with my new job.

Lucifer: Done, but you must come back to me at least once a month. How about full moon night?

*Lucifer had the grimoire appear in Adam’s hands*

Adam: Sounds perfect to me.

*they both fell asleep, Lucifer holding Adam and Adam holding the grimoire, in the morning Adam had to get dressed and sneak out, but before he could sprout his wings, he fell off the balcony and onto the table which had Lilith having breakfast with her friends.

Adam: Sorry, I fucked your husband….. actually I’m not sorry.

*Adam sprouted his wings and flew off*

@things-arent-what-they-seem66

[spinchs-field]

IMG BLORBO PLAYLIST uhm dib from invader zim ^_^? His name is preddy short tho so maybe lollipop bfb heheehjegejsbjs

i can do both :D! i'll do two songs for Dib, and a good few for Lollipop since there's a lotta songs that remind me of her (:

D - Do It All the Time by IDKHOW, Darkworm by Cheshyre I - I'm Not Famous by AJR, I Cut Myself by Talkshow Boy (i promise it's not as bad as you think. it's a pretty banger and upbeat song /gen) B - Be Your Shadow by The Wombats, Borderline by Tove Styrke

-

L - Leave Me Alone by IDKHOW O - Obsession by OK GO, Ode To The Bouncer by Studio Killers L - Loveseat by Raspberry Pie L - Little Talks by Of Monsters and Men I - I / Me / Myself by Will Wood, I am not a woman, I'm a god by Halsey P - Paparazzi by Lady Gaga O - One Day by Lovejoy, Out of My League by Fitz and The Tantrums P - Pink Lemonade by The Wombats, Preach by Saint Motel

[cacti-are-like-flamingos]

Texted Love

Henry Cavill x Fem!Reader

Part 2

Central Masterlist | Texted Love

"Our first guest is none other than the famous and dear friend of mine, (Y/n) (L/n)!"

A smile snaked its way on your plump lips as you came out from behind all the decorations, your eyes shining from the bright stage lights. Twitch played Drew Barrymore by Bryce Vine as you walk down to the main area, having heard it was one of your favorites. The nervousness that you once had was quickly disappearing, and instead the vibe of the song was taking control of you as you began singing.

You danced your way over to Ellen, your lips pronouncing every all the lyrics with such clarity and joy. Your hips subtly moving to the rhythm of the music, rolling from side to side. The blond laughed at your goofy entrance, her pearly whites shining with silver sparkles.

As the music came to a faded out end, you hurried over to where your host was, greeting her with a quiet, "Morning Ellen," and a hug with a kiss to the cheek. Your voice full of giggles as the two of finally sat down on the two white single seaters.

"Wow that-that was quite the performance!" Ellen joked, making you burst into another fit of giggles.

"Why thank you! I really do try my best."

"Do you usual do that?" You gave her a funny look, a smirk tugging on your lips.

"Do what? Burst out into song like a Disney character? Hell n-well. Actually....maybe...dunno. Gotta ask my staff." It was her turn to giggle. It took either of you a minute to compose yourselves, staring at each other as the room got quiet.

There was a look on your face, one that Ellen knew very well from having had you many times before on the show. Opening her mouth to say something, Ellen was interrupted by you calling out to her in what could only be referred to as an 'alien voice.' The strange sound your voice made causing her to go through another series of laughs and giggles as she desperately tried to compose herself. You grinned, loving the reaction you got in return.

"I'll stop now. Hahaha. I'll stop now." And with that said the interview went under way.

...

"Hehehe. Okay, okay. I-I need to ask you some questions. And these questions revolve around a certain....someone." Ellen wiggled her brows, noting the way your eyes just lighted up with joy at the oppprtunity of talking about the handsome man.

Oh boy, did you love him.

"Ah! My favorite subject. Do continue!" You shouted, fixing your clothing as you leaned in more into the cushions of your seat. You really just loved to toy with the media these days.

With a grin, god there's so many smiles and grins you realized, the talkshow host continued, "So what's going on? Are the two of you talking, flirting, sharing grandmas secret recipes, battle plans- what are you two doing?" You snorted before turning serious.

"We plan to attack by midnight. There's five groups with few subdivision, but the main will attack the South, North, West, and East. The fifth will attack the headquarters. Soon enough Wendy's shall be ours by the first light of dawn." The audience laughed at the mention of the fast food company. Ellen shook her head, her cheeks already hurting from so much smiling. Chuckling, you answered honestly.

"We have spoken actually. Well, not really talk talk. Like not orally but we've been texting and it's all nice and yeah." "And yeah?" "And yeah."

"Oh (f/n), you always mangae to make me laugh so much. Anywyas, for those of you who don't know," Ellen satred at the camera, "A while ago, while on the Graham Norton Show, (Y/n) learnt that she was Henry Cavill's celebrity crush," The crowd 'ooo'ed' much like the other interviews. You snickered, "(y/n) being (y/n), told on national television for Henry to hit her up on Instagram." You nodded.

"And he actually did. Hehehehe." Watching you, mischief introduced itself into her blue eyes. Not a good sign. Knowing you, you would play along and so much more. Its one of the reasons why many loved to have you on their shows. You were a goofball, always playing around, always keeping the conversation going. You were perfect.

And plus, you always did love going out with a bang.

"Do you think anything will come of it?" "Like relationship, romance wise?" "Yeah." You thought for a moemnt. In truth, you kind of hope it did but at the same time you were scared. You've never been in a relationship before, what if you were bad at it? You had always been a lone wolf in your life, opting to do everything on your own despite the many times help was offered.

Not the time to think this!

"Well I mean our zodiac signs say that our compatibility is favourable so I guess so." There was a moment of silence as everyone tried to process what you just said.

"W-What?" You gave Ellen a look as well as towards the audience who werw now snickering ag you.

"What?! I just wanted to raise the percentage!" A roar of laughter. Ellen looked at you, "Percentage?" You nodded, a stupid grin on your warm face. "Like when you're 99% sure that 2+2 makes 4 but you just want to get that one percent in. Just to like, make sure." "And how does this affect...?" You shrugged," I mean in my head it's like I now have a 1% chance of getting with him. The previous was like 0.5% chance." They continued to laugh at you.

"Wow, I feel bullied right now." You continued to joke around.

...

Throughout your whole interview, Henrybhad been watching it on his phone, a smile on his face. He still sat in his car, having previously needed to go to some place urgently, however, the news of you being live prompted him to take a few moments of distraction.

However, a few moments soon turned into a whole 25 minutes.

Oh he was definitely late. But it was you, so who cared.

He chuckled when the interview had reached your percentage bit, his eyes tracing the ways your face moved about. Admiring the your eyes shined whenever you were successful in making another laugh. Shaking his head, he plugged his car key's into the ignition, activating the vehicles engine. Quickly, he tapped out of the live stream, going to the still opened Instagram tab that remained on your conversation from the night before. Pressing on the voice recording button, he chuckled. Thinking of how dumb his next words were but finding the idea of how riled up you'd get after it, was extremely funny.

"1%? Babygirl, you have 100% chance to get with me."

...

The interview had then ended and lunch had quickly rolled in, your stomach grumbling angrily. Picking up your phone, you noted that you had a voice message from Henry. Arching a brow, you preased on it. Not caring if the volume was all the way up and that you weren't the only one in the car.

---"1%? Babygirl, you have 100% chance to get with me."---

The car came to a screeching halt.

"DID HE JUST CALL YOU BABYGIRL BECAUSE IF SO, FUCK GIRL YOU'RE AT THE FUCKING TOP OF YOUR LIFE. YOU'VE REACHED YOUR PEAK DUDE." Your assistant screamed at the top of his lungs. Staring wide eyed at you from the driver's seat, his face equally as shocked as yours.

"BICTH HE CALLED ME BABYGIRL! FUCK! AND HIS VOICE, HOLY SHIT. I'M DYING!"

"AHHH/AHHHH!" The two of you screamed simultaneously.

.

.

Oh Henry. If you only knew the chaos you were causing.

.

.

.

Nahhh, he's a little shit. He would continue fully knowing of the chaos he causes.

...

(A/N): Made this at like five am so if there's grammatical or spelling errors then please don't mind them. :)

Hope you enjoyed!

[spirit-shroud]

what are some roles that have been largely changed for cityrune? since you said queen was an influencer now :]

hi ty for asking me im vibrating. havent gotten to talk about this au now for three years and now that chapter 2 is like real and this time i can like........draw occasionally and i have more understanding of nuance...... [grips table] [screams]

this isnt quite what you asked but heres what's everyone from chapter 1 has been Up To with a little bit of context (and under a read more bc it got LENGTHY):

kris - professional stay at home teen (they live w/ asgore n help run the flower shop sometimes. this decision was entirely bc i dont like toriel). was wrongly diagnosed w Sudden Soul Rejection when they were incredibly young and given an experimental transplanted soul as a replacement. it works for them fine, give or take having to see gaster once a month for checkups. but sometimes the soul makes them skittish n decides they're going to sit in front of the pc and play 30 consecutive hours of a certain simulation game and not even let them drown people in the pool. if it were entirely up to them, they'd be like. passing out on the sofa to documentaries about bigfoot. or practicing cool knife tricks to impress their friends at their next tabletop meetup

- EDITED IN: the soul is kind of their friend. they are wearing a hypothetical get along shirt. most of the time, they agree on actions and things to do. tends to refer to themself + their soul as we/us which originally was just something they did in their head but they kept slipping in speech/text n just became a Thing of how they talk. switches to 'I/Me' whenever smth is wrong.

- also edited in: they believe the soul they have is their original soul bc nobody has told them otherwise. whenever theyre like 'oh yeah we think about our soul n view it as a separate entity to us like. all the time. it likes to hurt if we make too many choices it doesn't seem to like and kind of forces us to be a toned down version of what we want to be but thats just how souls are haha' and everyone is like.... 'Hey Kris That's Really Not How It Is.' theyre like. 'huh. gonna ignore that for now' - this was going to be a plot point

toriel - head of H0MEWOR1D (H01)'s department of education; kind of lost her roots as a simple math teacher as she was pushed into a lot of power she didn't even really seek out. divorced asgore over some miscommunications in their relationship; also loosely as a result of grief from asriel's death

asgore - the same. runs a lil flower/gift shop. people come in more to talk with him than to buy flowers most of the time, though

asriel Flowey - he's back in flower form, thanks to the government an accident. causes a lot of technology glitches wherever he goes, and wants revenge. isn't sure how to go about it. asriel "died" around 8 years before the story takes place and kris still misses him and refuses to even THINK about even the IDEA of calling someone their sibling after what happened, just in case it somehow happens a second time

susie - more of the same really. she spends most of her time either at grillby's (she's sort of become his assistant n helps with opening/closing. it just happened) or getting into low-stakes trouble w/ kris

noelle - she's in the city's equivalent of college and shes so tired. shes So Abysmally Tired n got kinda pushed 2 follow in her mom's footsteps. she's rarely around anymore except through text or on monsters & mages (dnd) night. (however.........she will come back w/ a long break n hang out w everyone again)

berdly - tbh i didnt even consider berdly when i made the au initially. idk what he's doing. probably in a similar situation to noelle??? canonically got kicked out of the M&M group due to clashes w/ other players but lurks in their group chat to posts memes sometimes

didnt rly think of any other of kris' classmates (+ their families) after ch1 and probably will continue to not, until chs 3-5 come out and i gotta whip up roles and histories for like. a lotta guys all of a sudden. i also forgot about noelle's parents

sans - runs a convenience store that everyone kind of thinks is a front, but also it has really cheap snacks and the local teens make a point of stopping there after school. so essentially, more of the same papyrus - similar to ut. is a very polite and sweet boy but you'll know when he's coming

grillby - he's back. he runs a bar like back in ut but the cozy vibes and weird-for-a-bar hours keep attracting kids who need parents, so half of his menu is comprised of overly sweet mocktails. usually only frequented by monsters

QC - same as usual. has a "rivalry" with grillbz but, theyre besties and have a book club

mettaton - he's real and he's back. he's similar to how he is back in ut w/ his EX body. likes to hang out at grillby's and talk to unsuspecting fans. has a show for everything

napstablook - similar to how they are in ut. helps mtt with making music sometimes. doesn't leave the house too often, but spends a lot of time posting on undernet

undyne - unfortunately. more of the same. she is a cop in the monster district. i am also upset by this but couldn't think of anything better for her

alphys - a doctor studying under dr. gaster in the hopes she'll one day take over his research. she spends most of her time as a nurse with a bigger title, though, and blocks out the weirdness of her job with anime.

gaster - weird guy. H01's top soul researcher and resident House wannabe. trying to manufacture the ultimate soul that can be controlled with simple internal switches, but so far he's only had 1 (very limited) success with a certain human. monsters just melt, and darkners just sorta......get weird... he's onto Something, though.

ralsei - lonely boy with some very strange hobbies. popular on UnderNet for poetry, baking videos, and general cryptid vibe. is the DM for the monsters & mages group (also seems to think everything is actually very fine in H01 when it is very much not)

lancer - about the same. professional Round Boy. lives w/ rouxls full time. follows susie around like a lost puppy and calls himself her "underling."

rouxls - runs a hotel/casino kind of deal where the objective Bad Guys hang out, and usually ends up doing any of the spade king's paperwork.

spade king - mafia godfather. kind of a dick. don't play cards with him

seam - works with the spade king as his right hand cat more or less because they have for a lot of years and are in that 'sunk cost fallacy' zone. thinks of retiring to a quiet life in the monster section of town like, daily

jevil - used to work with the spade king, but got imprisoned for Crimes. got weird after The Accident (separate from asriel's accident)

temmies (all) - dont really get mentioned except offhandedly but they run the monster space station. so far, are the only monsters who have ever been to space.

as far as chapter 2 goes:

yeah i dont have much so far for characters. in the original version of the au i accidentally made darkners as a whole just kinda..... not great? like all sorts of weird organized crime ties n sort of going out of their way to be A Problem to the city (not even in like. a revolution way. in a working against them but with the same goals kinda way). with the whole context it worked At The Time, bc i just had the spade king to look to as a villain, and also in this au the darkners are just trying to survive a world that ultimately was not built for them (that humans think they own, and monsters sort of... seeing this and wondering what it'll mean for them whichever one wins), but w/ new info abt how the dark world works n more guys to work with i want to kind of. edit the vibe a bit. like yea darkners will ultimately do whatever it takes to take over H01, but maybe in a better way than like. idk. all this. it doesnt have to be peaceful or anything it just has to be more adaptable as we meet more kinds of darkners

however yeah i thought up 'queen as some sort of childless mommy blogger/influencer' and that completely revived all memory i had of this au. she should be on mtt's talkshow. also she sells collectible wine glasses w/ her likeness

spamton is another one of gaster's failed soul experiments, but he hasn't melted yet, and seems............fine? sort of. so he hasn't gotten decommissioned yet. he does want to give you malware tho. hot monster singles in your area n all that

im blanking on the rest of the guys but i hope any of this was comprehensible

[fawntastic]

tagged by @neophyte-ghoul (ty!!)

Name: I'm actually trying to re-name myself to something I feel more comfy with atm, but if we're not mutuals, call me wren!!

Pronouns: they/them maybe she/her

Height: 5′3″ (163cm)

Time: 16:28 pm

Birthday: March 1st

Nationality: Greek-Australian

Favorite Bands: Hop Along, Jukebox the Ghost, AJJ, Ben Folds 5, Cayetana

Favorite Solo artist: Alex G, Frances Quinlan, Sidney Gish, Talkshow Boy

Last Show I Binged: Mob Psycho 100 (It was 6-8 months ago at this point...I don't watch a lot)

When did I create my blog: Last year, however I have an old blog that I've used since 2018 :)

Why did I choose your URL: It was originally my Deviantart username, and I think it was inspired by warrior cats somewhat :/ it just kinda stuck lol

Following: 256

Followers: 511 (thank you!!)

Average Sleep: 7-8 hours or 3-4 hours (depending on my stress levels)

Last thing you googled: 163cm in feet

side blogs: 0

lucky number: I don't trust numbers (also ive never thought about it)

instrument: I like the piano!!! I used to play it but I had to give up when we moved houses, and lost my skills

what am i currently wearing: Jeans and a plaid flannel shirt

dream trip: driving along the great australian bite or through the nullarbor plain. Maybe seeing Uluru. Going back to Broome maybe. Outside of Australia, I reckon Thailand could be swag, Japan would be cool too

Favorite food: Hmmmmm idk maybe cashew nut stirfry? or a curry of some sort mayhaps

Favorite song: Alex G - Guilty

top three fictional universes: Tokyo ghoul, Dorohedoro, Lobotomy corp/Library of Ruina

Tagging: @resyncedruth, @phantasragon and @angelbirdo :)

[dalzzo]

💕Jikook fics with a special place in my heart 💕

Hello, this is my rec list of jikook fics I love a lot, my all times favorites. I only read complete fics so this list is full of them :) It is mostly fluff (a little fluff and agnst here and there) Also, give the writers lots of love, they deserve it.

Falling for you again by Rose_gold71

Words: 30,985

Jungkook loses all memory of the last five years of his life.Jimin is scared he will never love him again.

Finish Line by vanillapeachesandcream

Words: 50,541 

Jeon Jungkook has spent his entire life in the entertainment industry, jumping from role to role until he finally reaches the top. Jungkook has also been plagued by dreams for as long as he can remember, dreams of a life different from this, dreams of a certain boy with pitch black hair and beautiful eyes. As the dreams escalate, Jungkook prepares to take on his next role, but the last thing he expects is to meet the boy of his dreams. When he begins to notice striking similarities between the movie and his dreams and becomes increasingly sure that actor Park Jimin is truly the same Jimin he dreams of, his life turns upside down in a race to correct the wrongs in their past lives and maybe achieve a happy ending along the way.

Baby boom by heyhosam 

Tags: Words: 26,288 

The doctor didn’t stop putting pressure on his tummy, turning her head to see Jimin’s wide eyes fixed on the screen at his side that showed a little curled up form that was supposed to be his baby. He swallowed harshly, the lump on his throat barely allowing him do much as breath.

Jimin was so fucked.

Present by pinkmonnie 

Words: 21,060 

“Sometimes I wish I could fall through this wall instead. Spend a few days with just you and the beach and no other distractions. I'd love some quiet in my life.”

One night, unable to take the solitude, Jimin writes a single word on the wall of the abandoned record store. He never expected to get a reply, least of all from a kind stranger all the way back in the real world.

One afternoon, as he's working on the repairs of the record store, Jungkook finds someone had written something on one of the walls. And he writes back.

Night Sky Feathers by Priska 

Words: 7,358 

Jungkook is more than gorgeous with his black and blue and purple feathers, wings sparkling as if he captured the stars inside, and mesmerizing silver eyes glow like the bright full moon above their heads.

Night Sky dragon is what they call him and it fits him perfectly.

I've Got a Lover Back in Japan by teecysh 

Words: 2,572 

It's no secret that Jungkook always aims for the best of the very best. The art of giving Jimin birthday presents is no exception.

(a bunch of silly, fluffy snippets of jungkook and jimin's trip to japan.)

Pull me in so there's no space between us by earthynamjoo 

 Words: 3,669 

“the—fuck! the doors won’t open!”

“stop pushing buttons! y-you might make it worse!”

jimin felt heat brush along his face as reality crashed down on him; he was stuck in this tiny little box with the insufferable junior he was forced to be around. he was in hell.

“how am i going to make it worse?” the taller boy merely commented as he tried pushing every button on the board. jimin felt a headache brewing behind his browbone.

“just, stop— i am not going to die with jeon jungkook of all people.”

The unlikely wingmen by mxinhyuk 

Words: 3,721 

The town he lives in houses a lot of wild rabbits, because he can’t go a single day without at least one rabbit following him to school, to work, or to his apartment.

He doesn’t know why its happening, he doesn’t why these rabbits like him so much, he just knows its inconvenient most of the time.

Or, Jungkook likes Jimin and Jimin thinks the bunny hybrid with bunnies following him everywhere is cute.

Feel a little more (and give a little less) by jellyfishes 

Words: 18,541 

Jeongguk knows he wears his heart on his sleeve, but he thinks that, given the circumstances, he does a good job of keeping a straight face. And it’s not a big deal. He can watch an interview of Park Jimin on a talkshow even though the last time he spoke to him was an awkward five message exchange on Jeongguk’s last birthday.

or

Jeongguk spends a lot of time thinking about Jimin in the eight years following BTS disbanding for someone who isn't still in love.

Touch Starved by krispy_kream 

Words: 4,602 

How had Jin described it when he was trying to explain it to Jungkook? Touch starved. And what a relief to know it had a name, that it was a real thing and he wasn’t just insane. Now that he isn’t starving it only takes a gentle hand at the small of his back to soothe his anger, an arm thrown around his shoulders to chase away his anxiety.

It only takes a bright smile from Jungkook to send the butterflies in his stomach into a frenzy.

When You Touch Me (I Die Just a Little Inside) by TrappingLightningBugs 

Words: 10,667 

Jimin's too proud to admit that he feels the most at home with Jeongguk's hands on him.

Lost Stars by pjungkook 

Words: 25,406 

Park Jimin has another maknae in his life and Jeon Jungkook is completely losing it.

Wander by pinkmonnie 

*ALL OF THIS FICS ARE SUPERIOR, BUT THIS ONE TAKES THE CROWN*

Words: 19,721 

"Your eyes are like the stars."

"Your smile is like the sunshine."

Jungkook takes a trip to the country to forget everything else and try to find some peace of mind. He thought perhaps he'd begin to understand and see things better, maybe even enough to start taking photographs again. He didn't think he'd end up falling in love with The Yellow House, or the forest and fields that surrounded it, or the beautiful, kind-hearted young man that managed the small hotel.

"And your hands are so small."

Flower Talk by soranosuzu 

Words: 3,280

Jimin works in a flower shop and Jungkook is a delivery boy who drives a pastel pink van. 

Nanny by Nochucomethru 

Words: 13,097 

“I can’t believe I’m actually considering being a nanny. What did I do wrong in my life?” Jungkook sighed, leaning back in his chair.

“Probably the entire sleeve tattoo that you couldn’t afford,” Taehyung said.

You give me purpose by TsingaDark 

Words: 6,475

While on their Wings tour in Japan, Jimin starts receiving gifts from an anonymous person, but it doesn't take long until he begins to figure out who the presents are from.

What the Fans Want by Shealezz 

*I waited so long for this one to be complete, believe me, the wait was worth it*  

Words: 78,894

Jungkook never imagined he would end up in a fake love with a tease like Park Jimin when all he wanted to do was dance. Unfortunately, this thing called “fanfiction” exists.

Start of Time by Fleurete 

Words: 33,673 

HP!AU. Perfect student Jeon Jungkook isn’t fond of new kid Park Jimin. He doesn’t care if its irrational, he just can’t stand him or his pretty face.

But as Jimin starts to worm his way into his life, everything Jungkook thought he knew about Jimin falls apart around him, and soon he is forced to discern for himself the truth of the mystery surrounding Park Jimin.

Blow Me Like Your French Horn by ohdizzy 

Words: 40,219

In which Jimin undergoes a transformation from Cinnamon Roll to Sinnamon Roll and Jeongguk is a little too competitive, a little too tsundere, and a little bit too moony-eyed for his own good.

(A tale of red converses, sandpit wrestling, shitty best friends a little too obsessed with playing Cupid, emotional constipation, existential crises, and that one body roll Jimin does that makes Jeongguk re-evaluate his life)

“i see that you adore playing your loud ass trumpet at random moments in the middle of the night, well fyi i happen to be a master at the French horn so fuck u i challenge you to a brass off” AU

Thank you for making it till the end, I hope you like them a lot ❤️❤️❤️

[stillwooozy]

im rlly feeling my narcistic phase

I was a tweet that was like “what celeb do u realistically think u could pull”

And my brain is like: “anybody who is into eccentric 20 yr old twinks, duh”

i mean i stand by that. if i want to be intimate w/ someone, and they are into guys ofc, then i usually get what i want.

Now “pull” as in which celeb do i think i would be compatible w/ in a long term relationship?? How tf am i supposed know? Probably none in all honesty. But also their just ppl. What am i meant to infer about them thru talkshow interviews like idk

Im not even that hot Lmao this isnt me gloating im fully aware im just average tbh. Nothing about me is special. I guess ive just perfected the art of schmoozing. im also kinda a blank slate as in i dont ever disclose much about myself and i kinda just mold myself to what ik the party im interested in is looking for. Not in an overbearing way, just subtly.

I mean so yeah. If ur average looking and want to hook up w/ anyone just ask them about themselves, act a little flirty but mostly just be interested/engaged. Stay true to ur personality but like... only the interesting parts? dont disclose ur trauma or anything like that number one. pretend ur just as attractive as whoever ur talking too cuz “attractive” is subject and in all honesty its hard to guess ppls “type”. Basically for men..... just act nice, and if their into men, they’re likely realize ur into them too. Men are simple. But i mean women are simple too. U just act nice to them too and if they find u hot it becomes obvious and then make a move.

im literally so high painkillers and xans rn so this is just me being frusterated that i still have to be quarantined till every one of my siblings gets a negative test back and unfortunately i am a prositute for attention. Literally.

ALSOOOOOOOO i will be going to LA for winter break and then Miami baby!! might be some rly good news for me. i cant be in the music industry for a career tho. I just cant. Or maybe? Idk. Nah id have to work my way up but i can help my friends make it to the top if they want. And this man.......... omggg i cant name-names but i do idolize him. Not idolize him, hes just perfect and so talented. Also he might(?) be single now. Or an open relationship or break type thing. My source is not reliable - hes also a dick that likes the mess w/ me and I KNOW he knows the type of horrid person i am... so yea im writing a fanfic in my head, literally. And it may be a possibiltiy. Idk. I need to focus on making $.you’d expect i’d give in a just become a part time drug dealer right?? My anxiety saves me from one crime at least. Mostly just the fact that i dont trust my brain. Stds or being murdered sounds better than jail. I can fight - but by that i mean i can fight wimpy indie/alt boys and decaying drug addicts....... im a fag. Im not going to prison - ever. So yeah. I dont sell drugs. I fill the trauma hole in my soul w/ dick.

[scribble-fics]

Transformers r.i.d.2015 headcanons

(Hi so first thing I had the mighty need to do some robots in disguise headcanons. I apologize if you don't liken them.)

Bee-

~I feel like bee has trouble recharging during his breaks because he is either thinking of what new decepticon might pop up, or the fact that he has "nightmares" about the past

~ Also feel like bee has ptsd from his voice box being ripped out and what not.

~ sometimes he might feel embarrassed about how his voice sounds and the best way to cheer him up is to compliment it. Say how it makes him sound like a leader and such.

Strongarm-

~okay weird I know but I think strongarm watches female volleyball.

~like one day the t.v was on and it was showing the female volleyball tournament. Making her watch in pure awe at the power of the serves and team work showed.

~Also think she admires wildlife on earth.

~like silently watching the birds flutter is sort of peaceful even though the animals are alien to her.

Sideswipe-

~this boi listens to radio too much. Like not just music but talkshows too.

~he likes to listen to them because he hears all the juicy gossip and comments. Like who cares if he has no clue who they are talking about HE WANTS IN ON IT!

~whistles in his free time to the tune of his favorite songs. Maybe when jazz comes back they can jam out!!

Grimlock-

~Omg this softie loves bubbles. Look at him he has too!!

~like if bubbles were blown he would chase after them and smile the biggest smile!

~when they pop he gets kinda sad. No bubble friend whyyyyy

~Also he tries to make things from the scrap yard- like sculptures to impress everyone

~they kinda just clap to make him feel good. I mean- yeah sure two smashed and twisted pieces of metal are art! Good job grim!

Fixit-

~he gets into word searches and sudoku I bet

~feeling smart when he gets it done and doing a tiny victory shuffle

~if there is a maze on a cereal box fixit calls dibs. Puzzles are his thing.

~and them being from earth it takes him a while to solve. Then bam! Solved any puzzle from crosswords to rubix cubes.

(Now for steeljaws pack)

Steeljaw-

~this furry likes to go on walks/ runs through the woods during night and early morning.

~like early early morning he will just be in the woods not really knowing what he's doing. Maybe just comforting himself with alone time.

~interested in the earth wolves he does some research on them. Looking for similar traits and such.

~then he finds the stories of wolves-like the three little pigs, and little red riding hood.

~he must keep these away from the pack if he wants no remarks to him about these stories.

Thunderhoof-(son♡)

~I think he sneaks up on someone (mainly clampdown) and like screams AAAAYYYOOOOO!

~because he knows it scares the scrap out of them

~I feel like he won't let anyone touch the tip of the last edge of the horns he has (does that make sense? Like the last nook on the end) because it's sensitive. He's used to the ones closest to his helm being held from like others defending themselves.

~it's hard for this baby to scratch his back (if he ever has to) and when no one is looking he might rub his back against like a tree or pole to help.

Fracture-

~shark bait uh-ha-ha!

~anyways- he has a fear of lighting.

~he won't let the others see it, but if there is a lightening storm he kinda goes to his room and comforts himself

~the minicons help as best as they can to comfort him too.

~he likes his helm to be rubbed I bet, like between his spikes.

Clampdown-

~he trips all the time. Like all the time.

~Also likes to talk to himself. Like a-HERMIT (GET IT?)

~primus help him he gets lonely.

~hugs himself.

Underbite-

~he has heard of humans tattoos and wants a cybertronian version of one. With the names of his fists on his shoulders

~what a dork.

~he has to like wrestling and is always trying to get someone to wrestle with him.

(Thats all I'm going to do- hope you liked them and if there is any misspelling I am so sorry! I will try to fix it!)

[dazzledbyrob]

New Rob interview with WELT (Germany) "The uncertainty is part of it“ Being on Hollywood’s A-list, his own fame still seems to perplex him somewhat. Robert Pattinson‘s weapon: a self-deprecating sense of humour. An encounter with the British actor in Berlin. Robert Pattinson perches on the edge of a yellow sofa and fiddles with a bottle opener. The soft drink in front of him has been open for a while, but he doesn’t put it down. The British actor is nervous; his fingers continually stroke the wavy steel object as if it were a worry stone. He doesn’t like the media circus and rarely gives interviews like this one at Berlin’s Hotel de Rome. Since the boy from Barnes in South West London was thrust into the limelight – where he has remained for the past ten years – he has feared talking nonsense or divulging details about his personal life, both, to him, are equally horrifying. His weapon: a self-deprecating sense of humour. Time and again he lets out a loud peel of resounding laughter, to make it clear just how laid-back he wants to be. Because the problem is, the thirty-year-old shot to global fame with the Twilight saga and he has been trying to shake off the role of the romantic vampire Edward Cullen who fell in love with mortal Bella ever since. His new film is also such an attempt. In the epic The Lost City of Z Pattinson plays neither the beau nor the seducer. In fact, (forgive me) he’s not even good looking. For his role as researcher Henry Costin, he fasted, let his beard grow out and had a prosthetic gaping wound crawling with maggots glued onto his sunken cheek. “We used real maggots, it was disgusting,” he laughs loudly as he talks about shooting the film in the Columbian rainforest. “The maggot scene where I ate one from my face was actually cut out of the movie.” Instead there is a second where Costin’s shirt rides up as he bathes in the Amazon. Revealing his back. No, there are no nude scenes, not even a kissing scene, with Robert Pattinson. His good looks were encouraged from an early age. At twelve, his Mum got him his first few jobs via her modelling agency. Back then, his two sisters liked to introduce their androgynous brother as “Claudia”. After puberty, his physique became too masculine and the bookings began to dwindle. Pattinson dubs it “the most unsuccessful modelling career ever”. Pure coquetry. Currently, he’s a model for Dior, photographed by Karl Lagerfeld. Right now he’s wearing a monochrome outfit from the French fashion label: white shirt with cardigan, jeans and sneakers, all in black. His famous hair is deliberately mussed. “I think pretty much every actor feels like a fraud in some ways,” he says self-critically, as he strokes his two-day beard with his free hand. He doesn’t know why. “Perhaps they’re a type of people who are attracted to playing other people, I guess.” His own fame still seems to perplex him somewhat. At 15 he ended up on the stage as a substitute in a London theatre by chance. An agent was in the audience. While other actors struggle for years, his third role brought him worldwide attention: In the fourth Harry Potter film, he met an untimely death as the handsome Cedric Diggory in a fight with Lord Voldemort. It meant the 19-year-old was part of an international blockbuster franchise. No mean feat for someone who never went to drama school. “Every movie you do is like going to acting school. You don’t need a teacher, you can find one in every director,” says the self-taught thespian today. He finds it strange to think that there is only one prescribed or correct way to play a role. “It’s all totally random.” Not Robert Pattinson. At 22 he became a sought-after sex symbol in Twilight. At 23 his salary hit the 20 million mark – he had made it onto Hollywood’s A-list. “I‘ve never really thought about what everybody else wants,” he says, almost apologetically. “Or not even about a career! Maybe one day I’ll have to.” Another loud laugh. Ha ha. “Might be coming pretty soon.” Too late. In 2010, Forbes and Time Magazine named him as one of their 100 Most Influential People. Nevertheless, Pattinson’s British understatement seems at once credible and likeable. He has always emphasised how difficult he found the role of the vampire, the immortal 17-year-old with no opportunities for character development. The romantic saga spanned five films, while Pattinson also dated leading actress Kristen Stewart. During the Twilight years, which continued until 2012, Pattinson decided to emancipate himself from the character. An almost impossible undertaking. He shot one to two additional films per year, many arthouse and independent projects, but the catch was that in every one of those years there was also a reunion with Edward Cullen and his brown contact lenses. Doubts still eat away at him, he admits. “For me, the uncertainity is part of it,” Pattinson says of his inner drive. He can’t stand actors who are conceited and think they’re not going to mess this up. He likes the idea that for every performance there is the chance of complete failure. “It’s like watching a concert or something, you kind of want this teetering on the edge, like your life could just fall apart.” Big words, romantic words, more film than reality. Up to now there have been no stories of pretentiousness or tantrums on set; instead he reads the classics while working. He takes the business more seriously than he takes himself. “When you’re on a job you can have all the training you want. If it’s going to go wrong, it’ll just go wrong. It’s a kind of weird alchemy that needs to happen to get something interesting.” Practically every director praises Robert Pattinson, his seriousness and his talent. When he hears such compliments himself, he rumples his hair, like he’s doing right now. His name has become a door opener and a box office guarantee, yet he doesn’t appear to trust the hype about himself. When he meets loyal fans at film premieres, he takes the time to give autographs and smiles for the cameras. They camp out overnight to catch a glimpse of him at premieres and scream from talkshow audiences, he often seems overwhelmed by the force of adoration. As if he can’t quite believe it’s really for him. “I don’t know really how to appeal to people and do things that they want, because that changes so quickly.” He claims it is practically impossible to predict what will go down well. “Other than,” he says, cracking up, “doing another Twilight movie.” But then the vampire must be allowed to have aged a bit by now, surely? He stops short. “What do you mean”, he says, jokingly indignant, “I’m too old to play a 17-year-old?” Again, there’s that Pattinson laugh. Of course he could. Clean-shaven. His fans would go crazy, but for him it would be a step backwards. This evening he’ll be confronted by a screeching mob at the Zoo Palast, the same as always, despite his beard and scar in The Lost City of Z. “How I chose things is very easy for me,” he says, the bottle opener still in his hand. As a rule, he only does things that excite him. With this film, he liked the fact that the men were following their aspirations. “Yes, it’s incredibly selfish, but at the same time, eventually, at the end of the day, you’re gonna die alone. You have to do what you have to do sometimes. Sometimes a dream can be at the expense of everybody else.” Again, those are some lofty words. And he laughs. He has had to give up some dreams of his own. He wanted to be a musician; he had a band, he can sing and play piano and owns over a dozen guitars. One of his two sisters is a singer and dissuaded him. But Lizzy Pattinson’s opinion wasn’t the decisive reason. He is afraid that his audience will never see him as Robert Pattinson on stage, but rather always as Edward Cullen. However, this is perhaps partly his own doing: he composed some songs for the Twilight soundtrack. He shuts down the subject of his music career quickly, but with a smile. “This and a few other things I’ve been doing recently really excited me about acting again. It’s really nice how everything’s going now.” His private life also appears to be going well. He has been in a relationship with British musician FKA Twigs, whose real name is Tahliah Barnett, for three years – for two of which they’ve been engaged. The pair is rarely seen at events and they don’t talk about each other in interviews. It was likely in part for her that he moved from Los Angeles back to his hometown two years ago. He claims the almost seven years he spent in Hollywood always seemed like a “holiday” to him anyway. He lived in huge mansions that he christened “Versailles”, was dogged by paparazzi 24 hours a day and could never go out. In London, however, the press largely leaves him alone. Pattinson had what was likely his bitterest experience with the media in 2012 when his relationship with Kristen Stewart imploded. The US actress was splashed across the tabloids when the paparazzi caught her cheating. Stewart made a public plea to Pattinson for forgiveness, which was in itself astonishing as up to then the pair had never publicly confirmed they were in a relationship. The tabloids, paparazzi and fans went completely berserk. That year “Robsten”, both before and behind the cameras, was history. This made one person above all very happy: Donald Trump. He waded in on Twitter in October 2012, making eleven Tweets on the topic within a month. “Everyone knows I am right that Robert Pattinson should dump Kristen Stewart,” wrote Trump. “In a couple of years, he will thank me. Be smart, Robert.” In another Tweet Trump invited him to his Miss Universe contest, because the relationship with Stewart was supposedly “permanently broken”. A few weeks ago, Stewart hosted the US show Saturday Night Live and insinuated the US President is in love with her ex-boyfriend. And what does Pattinson have to say? Does he have a word of advice for Trump? For the first time, Pattinson seems to agonize. “I hope,” he says hesitantly, “he has more interesting things to think about now.” He lets out an embarrassed laugh and takes a sip of his soft drink. The son of a car dealer has not become an arrogant snob, but rather Robert Pattinson, the reluctant star. With or without Edward Cullen.

[winstonhcomedy]

“Dope A-F”- 1/24-1/25 - “Booed Off Stage and Reg Charity”

Sweet lord almighty. Thursday/Friday were some slobbrerknockers of shows. I’ve got three bad boys to cover so let’s hop right to it laydees.

Earlier in the week I got asked by Travis Carl if I could fill in for him at The Richmond Funny Bone hosting for the “Fresh Drunk Stoned Tour”. I of course agreed. Luckily the open mic this night was The Camel hosted by Jameson Babbowski. This was an early mic so I got to get two sets in.

I head over to The Camel right after work. I am the first comic there. The Camel always has a chill fun vibe to it. When Jameson gets there I look at the lineup and I know like half of the comics. The influx of new comedians continues. It is getting kind of insane. I feel like more and more experienced comics are either moving away/giving it up/taking a step back from standup. Which is a shame. I love the new comics, but I do miss the feeling of going to an open mic and it being filled with all the dudes I started with.

New comics are always good for a scene. As people trickle out you need more comics to trickle in. They bring audience members, and a sense of enthusiasm that is kind of gone from people who have been doing standup a while. The downside is when your scene becomes all new comics booking showcases becomes difficult. You want to give people opportunities, but at the same time a showcase full of newbies is just an open mic.

There is a family with a small child at the show. They tell Jameson they are ok with the swearing and are going to leave aft4er a quick bite. I get to see a few of my friends like Alex Castagne and Mike Engle. So that was a nice little hang.

Jameson goes up and does a quick hosting set before bringing me up. I go up and talk to the kid a little bit and get a few laughs. The crowd is interesting. Paying attention, but not really loving the comedy yet. My set goes pretty well. I need to write some new stuff because I am getting to the point where the new stuff I am working on is starting to become fully formed. The jokes go ok. Some hit pretty hard and some get nothing. All in all I was able to riff a couple new tings, and work on wording. I’d give this set a C-. I grab my stuff and run to my car to head to Short Pump to get to the Funny Bone.

It has been a while since I have been on a show here. I walk in and say hi to the staff. Every time I come by they have some new wait staff, but a lot of the people who’ve been there for years are still around. People like Cory, Derek, Buz, Brittany, and of course Jason the gm. I get to talk to everybody for a bit and shoot the shit before the comics from the “Fresh, Drunk, and Stoned” tour show up.

They were coming from VB so they had a comic down there drive them up and they gave them a guest spot. Drew Grizzly is the comedian who drove them. I have only seen him perform a couple times at clash so I don’t know much about his standup. I know the couple times at clash I wasn’t super impressed, but also that was forever ago and I think he was a super new comic at that time.

All three of the headliners were super cool. They were Tim Hanlon (LA), Matt Bellak (Chi) and Franco Harris (Chi). Very chill dudes and fun to hang with. all real professionals as well. Franco came in and had the complete run down written up ready to hand over to the sound guy Buz. I was going to be doing 10 up top, Drew was going to do 7, then each of them would do 20 each to close out the show.

They also did a great job of packing the show on a Thursday night. They didn’t sell out but they came damn close. I think there was close to about 220 people in there. Which is definitely a treat for a Thursday.

I go up first and have a super strong hosting set. I tried some material I’ve never done there before and it went over great. My “problems with China” bit hit super hard, and my “Angel/Devil” closer really got them. I’d give this set a B+. I really had them in a good place to get this show going and I bring up Drew.

I walk to the green room while he starts his set. I don’t really pay attention to it. He’s not getting a huge laugh or anything, but I don't think anything of it. I am talking in the back with the guys, and after like 2 minutes we start to hear a noise coming from the green room. I can’t really tell what the noise it, but is most assuredly not laughter.

I start to listen closer and realize it is boos. Drew is bombing so hard he is getting booed. Tim and I go out to check it out and we are just in awe. This crowd that was super into the show had now completely turned on him. Apparently he had started his set and said he had weird pubes. A woman responded, “you got a problem.” Instead of rolling with it he doubled down and started to be aggressive with the lady. He had not built up the goodwill in his set to warrant this type of response. So the crowd started to turn. He also mentioned that he doesn’t date black women (he is a black guy) which honestly is where he really lost the crowd (primarily black audience).

I have never seen this kind of shit before. It is surreal. People are losing their minds yelling at him, booing him, screaming to get him off the stage. People are standing up out of their seats. Like it had the vibe that someone was going to come up on stage and get him. Jason came out of his office wondering what was going on. It was too much for security to silence everyone. He was getting the light from the back, and he wouldn’t get off stage.

I don’t know how much time he did but it felt like a millennium in that atmosphere. It might be the worst set I've ever seen in my life. I was inching closer and closer to the stage trying to give him a hint. Also I was worried I was going to have to go on stage and take the microphone from him. The worst part is I have to go up after this. I tell Tim I am going to try my best to get the crowd back and do something before he gets on stage.

Drew finally gets off, and I go back up amidst a sea of boos. They’re still yelling and I give them a second to see if they’ll die down enough to try to get a word in. I finally grab the mic and say, “I think this is the first time in history where a room full of black people are like, ‘Thank God the white guys back’”, and it absolutely murders. People stand back up and are screaming and hollering. People are giving me high fives, and I'm really selling it leaning over with the mic stand talking to people and getting them pumped up. I bring Tim Hanlon on stage and the show is back on track. This is now one of my favorite comedy memories.

I go back to the green room and Drew is talking about it, and Franco and Matt are giving him good advice. Bombing happens, everybody does it, this is not a reflection of an entire comedians career or act. I do know that I have never in my life seen a worse set, and at least Drew knows it can’t get worse. He was in good spirits, and we all ended up having a dope rest of our night. I get a lot of compliments and I get to watch Tim, Matt, and Franco have super hot sets to end this amazing night. I also get a weekend of work from Jason in March. I love filling in dates on my calendar.

After the show I stick around, take some pictures, and meet some people. I say my goodbyes to everybody and then head to my car. I drive home enjoying the end of this awesome night.

1/25

The next day after work I took a nice nap, and then headed down to perform on Tidewater Tonight in Virginia Beach at Pinboys. This is a talkshow co-created and hosted by Roberto Lundgren Rodrigues. This isn’t a standup show. I had to create a character to be interviewed. I low-key love stuff like this, but I don’t get the opportunity to do it often.

I came up with the character several months ago when I was first asked, but I kept having to reschedule. I finally got an open Friday and was ready to unveil Reg Charity.  Basically the character idea I had was I'd be a disgraced, southern, ex PBA bowler who was banned from the sport due to my rampant alcoholism. So after my PBA career I started inventing. All my inventions are supposed to do the opposite of what they normally do (sunglasses that brighten the room, chips that help you lose weight, whiskey that sobers you up, and a toaster that turns toast into bread). It slowly becomes apparent during the interview that none of them work, and I get drunker and drunker on my “non-alcoholic” whiskey. 

I get to the venue early and am just hanging out with the people who run the show. Ryan Dix, Roberto, Laura Batty, and a few others. My buddy Nick Deez showed up also.

So after they set up for the show we wait for it to start. There is a tiny audience of maybe 5 or 6 who aren’t involved in the show. That’s ok though because everybody is super into the show. I am so excited to see how the video turns out because I am super excited about it. I improvised the entire thing. I feel like I went in and out of my accent, but I honestly don’t care. It was super fun, and I got people laughing. I had an absurd outfit on, and some great lines. I’d give it a solid B. If I get to go back I know I’ll do even better.

They do some ads, and a singing commercial. Then Donna Lewis goes up and is doing the character of an ex child star. She is having a hot one, and everyone is having a blast. The show ends and it was definitely a success.

They make several attempts to lift the couch up with me in it. We get some funny pictures of me falling out of it, and them failing to lift me. We keep chatting for about an hour, and just talk shop, and shit. It was a super dope show, and I can’t wait to do it again.

All in all this was a helluva two days of shows. A real hoot and a half. I just want to give everybody who reads this blog a million kisses. XOXO I love you and I’ll be back to recap the weekend tomorrow sweeties! GOODBYE LAYDEES!!!!

[cacti-are-like-flamingos]

Texted Love

Henry Cavill x Fem!Reader

Part 3

Central Masterlist | Texted Love

"Please welcome back... Henry Cavill!" Graham announced, watching as the tall and burly man walked onto the stage wearing a black on black suit, the first two buttons of the collared shirt left undone, revealing a bit of his strong collar bone and unruly chest hairs. Going over to him, the two men hugged each other, muttering soft and polite greetings before pulling away, heading towards their respective seatings. Norton in his black cushioned bucket chair and Henry along side the other guest stars on the strangely shaped red couch.

The interview started as like the many others before, with questions about the guest stars participation in the latest new series or social events or just some funny things that were rumored to have been done or said by the guest. Already a handful amount of minutes had gone by, the show was due to end in about 30 more when the talkshow host decided to bring back up the subject about Henry and the lovely (Y/n).

"So Henry, have you got an update for us?" Henry furrowed his brows in confusion, not truly understanding what the older male was trying to imply. It took him a moment or two to finally understand. No one would know, except himself of course, that the smile that arose to his lips wasn't because it was a funny situation or because he was shy about it. No, it was because he had instantly pictured you in his head, the thought of you causing a bubbling warmth to flood his stomach.

"Ah yes...What would you like to know?" Henry asked, a fond look in his eyes.

"Have you guys been talking?" The actor nodded making the host squeal out of joy; fangirling. The action causing many chuckles. "Ooo, do tell." The host spoke.

"Oh, uhh, well we've been nonstop talking with eachother since," he chuckled under his breath, the veins in his neck seemed to become more visible due to it," she told me to 'hit her up'," his said, air quoting the phrase with both his hands index and middle fingers," on instragam."

"Have the two of you met yet?" A guest star asked.

"No, we haven't unfortunately. Her schedule and mine contradict a lot. So we make due with a lot, and I mean, A LOT of texting and face timing."

"That's good, great way of communicating despite circumstances. Tell us, have you learned something new about (y/n)? Like any weird habits?"

An instance quickly popped up in his mind, a chesire grin on Henry's face.

"Actually yeah. Here's the thing, (y/n) likes to send me strange things at like the most ungodliest of hours." The audience laughed, huge beaming grins on their faces. Graham sent the male a hesistant look, anxious of what was to come one could say.

"What-hahaha. What do you mean? What has she sent you?" Shifting about his seat, the raven haired male wet his lips, a smirk coming about them.

"Hehehe. She, for some reason, likes to send me a lot of gifs of those, uhhh, I don't know what they're called. Uhh, it's like a tomato from a kids show. And like it has a confused face."

"What the fuck...?" Another guest star quietly muttered under their breath, but loud enough for the microphone and the people on stage to catch. Henry tried to surpress another wave of laughter as he continued to elaborate more on the bizarre subject.

"Yeah, so she'd send them at like 5 in the bloody mornin', which is actually her midnight back in the states."

"Is-" Graham cleared his throat, eyes twinkling in amusement, "Forgive my bluntness, but is she drunk at that time? Does she drink by then?" A whole roar of laughter and claps erupted from the audience and stage. Shaking his head, soft black curls fell upon his glistening forehead, his smirk widening.

Henry quickly added, "Actually, I've asked her that question like once but she said that even she's surprised she isn't drunk."

"And does she do it like every day?"

"Soemtimes its back to back. But then it stops for a while and then starts up again."

...

Instagram 11:50 pm

(U/n): (henrycavill): You just had to out me to the world didn't you? 😒

(henrycavill): (U/n): What? It was funny

(U/n): (henrycavill): smh

(U/n): Wonder what else you gonna spill about me

(henrycavill): (U/n): oh i don't know...maybe your obsession with Star Wars fanfiction? Figure that'll catch the media's attention quite nicely won't it?

(U/n): (henrycavill): 😧

(U/n): (henrycavill): Wow. We really going there. Okay, okay.

(U/n): (henrycavill): Pay attention to my next interview. I think you'll find something of great interest.

(henrycavill): (U/n): Oh? What is it?

(U/n): (henrycavill): Not gonna say. But I'll give you a hint.

(henrycavill): (U/n): Ooo a hint

(U/n): (henrycavill): I hear your sarcasm so freakin loud rn. When we meet imma slap you hard core

(henrycavill): (U/n): As if you could reach

(U/n): (henrycavill): Psst I don't even gotta reach. All i gotta do is grab you by the tie and pull you down to my level.

(henrycavill): (U/n): oh? how kinky of you

(U/n): (henrycavill): darling that's vanilla compared to my other kinks ;)

(henrycavill): (U/n): And just what are your other kinks? 😏

(U/n): (henrycavill): Bondage~

(henrycavill): (U/n): Really now? You like to be tied down and called a good girl? 😏

(U/n): (henrycavill): Nope. I like to tie you down and make you beg for me to call you a good boy. 😏

(henrycavill) still typing...

(U/n): (henrycavill): Gtg see ya babe! Remember watch my interview! Bye💕

...

"I literally cannot believe you actually just said that to him." Terry stated, eyes wide and glassy as he took yet another swig of his liquor. A pink blush flourishing a the apples of his freckled cheeks. Laying beisde his seated body, you buried yourself deeper into the velvetness of your fuzzy blankets, a content smile on your glossed lips. A bottle of vodka in your hand.

"Me neither. Future me will most likely either regret it or be proud of me? Question mark." You said, your eyes still glued onto the tv. Ah, Reid found another body.

"What do you think his reply is?" You shrugged.

"I dom't really care man. Actually I do care but I want to ignore my anxiety for as long as I can so Imma act like I don't care."

"But you do care right?" You briefly looked his way.

"...Yes."

"Do you like him?" You drank.

"If I say it, it becomes more real. So I'm just gonna ignore that question."

"But you do. What's so wrong about liking a person?"

"Are you gonna drink that or am I going to have to drink it for you?"

...

His mind didn't know how to react to her text. But his body did. Almost instantly did a sudden discomfort form within his pants, a tightness. His whole body felt as though it was near a furnace, his cheeks warm and pink. His imagination was running wild. He could see so many fantasies, all runnung parallel to each other. Each equally pleasurable.

You really were a minx.

He continue to try and formulate some kind of phonetic response to your message, but to no avail. Ten minutes had gone by when all of a sudden his phone's screen lighted up, illuminating his face in the room filled with pure darkness.

Instagram 12:00 am

(U/n): (henrycavill): his name is Bob the Tomato from Veggie Tales. Night 🌙💕

"Yep. She's a keeper." Henry muttered, a small smile on his lips as he put his phone away to sleep at last.

Wait she never gave the hint? Oh well. It'll just have to be a surprise then.

...

"You really had to send him that?" "Shut up and drink up your vodka." "Is that a threat?" "Fine. Give here then!" "No, no, no, no, no, no! Sorry! Sorry! Look! Morgan's on the screen!"

...

(A/N): This could've gone so many different and not so innocent ways but I'm a crackhead so...!

Wished 🌟 @nothernlights19

Hope you enjoyed!