#maybe her hair doesn't make sense idc
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This design came to me in a dream
#looks rushed because I did rushed#I just wanted to plan it out lmao#art#my art#digital art#fanart#gta cw#ling shan#gta ctw#gta chinatown wars#gta#grand thetf auto#maybe her hair doesn't make sense idc
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RDR2 RELATIONSHIP CHART!
free to use, just credit me if you do :) (also tag me if you use it for rdr2 oc's i'd love that hehe)
Young Jack ver ⤴️
Old Jack ver ⤵️
notes cuz i love overthinking shit :
EVERYONE except Micah, Sadie and Kieran have both little hair thingies
for Micah it's cuz....yknow. he's not really part. he's the rat. doesn't even have one of the two.
For Sadie and Kieran they have 1 since they are part of the gang, they just happened to join later
I changed some people's design a little bit but it's minor changes that don't mean much just me fixing up stuff
Molly and Grimshaw's eye-makeup-thingies are the same (cuz yknow. Dutch.) Molly's hair doesn't naturally do the Little Hair Thing, she has to do it every morning, hence why it's...oddly curly (this time not because she's not part of the gang, but because she feels the need to have it. maybe Dutch will love her if she does. if she's like the rest.)
I decided to make older Jack have a few things from other characters who are theorized to be his dad (lol. i don't believe those theories just for the record, i think Jack is John's kid, i just like stirring the pot HJKASJKHASGASG)
Jenny is like that cuz we never see her apart from a drawing, so i thought i should make her all sketchy and silly
Mac is. a fucking square. we never see that mf.
Karen has 3 freckles instead of 3 cuz she's quirky and not like the other girls (no but fr)
i tried to keep it right side people who would agree most with Dutch after Dutch...? if that makes sense? so yknow Micah is first, then Bill, etc. from the left side is the people who agreed the most with Arthur/John...so Hosea, Charles, lenny, etc.
Arthur facing John, Hosea facing Dutch, Charles facing Micah is on purpose teehee (Kieran is also kinda facing Mary-Beth but you can call bullshit and i'll accept it)
Jack is the only boyo between the women cuz he stands with his momma
i thought Arthur and John's hat bonking was p funny
idk what else to say, i've probably forgoren a lot but idc so...
these designs are 100% not perfect but i am p satisfied with most overall, lemme know what you think!
also....
i don't have any fucking clue why person's eyes are the only ones like that please someone fix him whats wrong with him help get him eye contacts or something PLEASE--
#rdr2#arthur morgan#john marston#dutch van der linde#micah bell#bill williamson#javier escuella#davey callander#mac callander#leopold strauss#jenny kirk#mary beth gaskill#susan grimshaw#molly oshea#jack marston#abigail roberts#abigail marston#karen jones#sadie adler#tilly jackson#josiah trelawny#kieran duffy#orville swanson#uncle rdr2#simon pearson#sean mcguire#lenny summers#charles smith#hosea matthews#rdr2 fanart
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Hiii, could you write a nikokai fic where reader is like in love with kaz but he doesn't really pay attention to her. And then the crows meet sturmhond because of a heist and he takes interest in the reader form the first moment he sae her and makes her fall in love with him. And then whatever you want lol. Maybe kaz being jealous idk.
Sorry for any grammatical mistake, english it's not my first language.
𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐝𝐞
Masterlist<3
Summary: After years of being in love with the one and only Kaz Brekker, breaking her own heart, Y/N meets someone else... Pairing: Sturmhond x fem!inferni!reader, Kaz Brekker x fem!reader
Warnings: The usual crow violence, DRINKING, jealous Kaz, mean Kaz, "unrequited" love for a little while, Matthias is alive and well like in the books duh but this is ofc before Nikolai becomes king, idc I just want my Fjerdan hunk happy in Ketterdam, curse words, kind of a messy timeline. HURT AND NO COMFORT. Lmk if I missed any.
Word Count: 2.9K!! Requested: Yes
A/N: IM SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG! :( I've been looking forward to getting to this specific request because oh my god, also, I changed it up a little; making Kaz actually be in love with reader but never really trying anything. Tysm for requesting love! Hope you enjoy :)
˚ · • . °
Exhaustion. That's what she felt, and to be honest, it was even more frustrating when Y/N knew she was doing it to herself. Those persistent yet futile attempts at reading Kaz's silence or gaze as something else; a love message, a confession of his sins, any sign of vulnerability reserved for her. However, these attempts, though fervent, ultimately proved fruitless.
How could she confirm what she thought she saw if, after, say, he appeared distressed at her being in danger or fumed when some dick was being extra disgusting at the bar that night; he went back to being his usual cold self?
When she finally obtained concrete evidence that disproved her misconceptions ("Jesper, she prefers black coffee" or "Y/N, could you join me in my office for a moment?" simply to spend time together in quietude), he strategically distanced himself throughout the week, transforming those precious moments of tranquility and companionship into ordinary occurrences, leading her to, somehow, misunderstand them.
Another shot of vodka and the pain her thoughts evoked was replaced by the burning, bitter sensation in her tongue and throat. "A hangover won't make Kaz let you stay behind tomorrow, you know that?" Matthias smiled next to her.
Since he joined the crows, the Fjerdan had taken a special liking to his girlfriend's best friend; she was funny, kind hearted and could keep up his pace in drinking games. Nina couldn't be happier to see her loves get along so well, saying it's her dream come true. "Oh don't even start, Matthias" Y/N answered, feigning annoyance as she poured more of the burning liquid into her glass and pulled out another for her friend.
They silently toasted to nothing in particular and chatted about their books as they usually did. Matthias' romance novel had an interesting love triangle Y/N was eager to read when he was finished. From how he talked about it, the girl knew it was just her type of story. They were in the middle of a playful argument about a plot-hole Y/N thought she found when Kaz approached them.
His usual demeanor seemed a bit... shaken. If you asked the blonde, he'd say he only looked more agitated, but Y/N/N knew better; his hair was covering his forehead slightly, but he wasn't brushing it back. The limp was prominent still, yet he wasn't using his cane. Kaz was in a rush to get to her, maybe?.
"One of your fellow countrymen is starting a turmoil outside, doesn't speak Kerch. Will you please, for the tree's sake, go and talk some sense into his thick blonde skull?" Saints, why did she like him so much? Even like that, Y/N thought he looked rather divine. Matthias stood up from his seat and directed himself to the entrance.
"Since when do you care for what happens outside that door?" She asked with a grin, genuinely curious. "I wouldn't if he wasn't scaring off the pigeons. No wealthy tourist will endure the trouble that some drunk Fjerdan means just to get inside a place full of people that'll take his money" the boy explained, looking down at her.
Kaz's complexion, kissed by the soft glow of the candles, is pale yet flawless, as if untouched by the harshness of the world he inhabits. His sharp, well-defined features give him an air of enigmatic sophistication, further heightened by the way the light dances upon his cheekbones, emphasizing their elegant structure.
Y/N realizes she's staring. She looks away.
The bastard smirks. "Finding something intriguing, are we?" And oh, she wanted to stab him to see if that would wipe the stupid grin he carried. "Oh, please, Kaz. You give yourself too much credit. I was merely lost in thought, contemplating the mysteries of the world. Your face happened to be in the line of sight, that's all."
Quick, sarcastic answer, as if the seconds between her silence confirmed even further what he was saying. He scoffed, drinking the remains of alcohol on Matthias' glass and fixed his hair in the process. "Stop drinking, a hangover won't spare you from our meeting tomorrow".
˚ · • . °
She should've listened. The crashing waves outside only intensified the discomfort, while the salty breeze seemed to carry a tinge of regret. Even the beauty of the sea she was now too used to felt distant and inaccessible, overshadowed by the haze of her post-indulgence remorse.
Nina, taunting Matthias with a mature Ravkan song and Jesper shooting bottles in the warehouse, created an uneasy atmosphere for hungover Y/N. This unsettling environment made it difficult for her to focus on evaluating any potential deals they were to discuss with the privateer Kaz said they were meeting that day. Also, they had been waiting for over an fifteen minutes now! She was surprised Kaz was waiting still.
He checked his pocket watch subtly, sighing at the tardiness of their Ravkan guests. Then, he looked over at Y/N. Even with those deep baggy eyes and with her head on her hands in exasperation, she managed to awaken that odd feeling in his chest. He hated it. No, he despised it.
If he ever accepted that he was down hard for the girl, he could also get over the fact that she, too, liked him. Well, he wasn't dumb! There was no denying that Y/N's actions warmed his heart. He just knew loving was a dangerous thing to do, a weakness he couldn't afford after spending years building a reputation in Ketterdam.
Then came a loud bang on the heave wooden doors of the warehouse. "Fucking finally" Y/N sighed, going to open the door herself before anyone would, wanting nothing but to end this as soon as possible so she could go back home to sleep. She grabbed the handle and pulled, the bright light outside blinding her momentarily before seeing the privateer and his crew.
"Hello gorgeous! Here to see Mr. Brekker. I'm guessing you're one of his associates?" A sharp, slightly deep voice greeted. The girl shielded her eyes from the light and found captain smily offering his hand out. In Ketterdam, rumours ran as quick as blood on pavement; Sturmhond knew that. He needed no introduction. Every person involved in not so legal activities who didn't live under a rock had heard at least once about the dog of the sea.
She took it, shaking gently. "Y/N Y/L/N, but if you prefer nicknames, call me Haepha". Then she stepped aside, pretending not to notice the smirk on Sturmhond's face so his partners could come in. The rumors hadn't done justice to his captivating presence.
The charismatic privateer stood tall, his dark hair falling in unruly waves that added to his allure. His piercing blue eyes seemed to hold a world of secrets, and a mischievous smile played across his lips. Dressed in opulent garments that exuded confidence and flair, Sturmhond commanded attention with every step as his crew and he approached the rest of the crows.
"I'll stick to your name for now doll, too pretty not to use," And the bastard winked at Y/N, making a Shu girl who was walking behind him with the same confidence giggle. The worst thing about pretty men is they know they're pretty, and knew damn well how to get away with being cocky. She knew his type, so she brushed the wink off and walked towards her friends.
Kaz and Sturmhond shook hands. Everyone who was fast enough grabbed a seat in old boxes or even on the floor. Jesper offered Y/N his seat, knowing that the vodka she drank last night was no merciful rival, and stood behind her alongside his boyfriend. Inej lingered sitting in a window near them as Matthias and Nina remained standing, contrary to all the privateers' team.
Kaz started making introductions, all a mere formality, Y/N knew. "You've met Y/N, our inferni. Behind him are Jesper, sharp-shooter, and Wylan, our demo-man. The blonde wall-resembling man over there is Matthias, and Nina is a heartrender. Inej in the window, our Wraith" he pointed, everyone nodding or waving at the dark-haired man.
"A Wraith alright, didn't notice you were there sweetheart!" He pointed out and then introduced the twins; Tolya and Tamar. As well as Anya and Andrei, who were two members of his ship's company who wanted to come by and see who they were working with. When that was taken care of, plans were strategized by both leaders and positions were given to each member.
Y/N knew Kaz was characterized by having plans from A to Z for very elaborate heists, but even this one seemed out of his reach, almost too ambitious. But if Sturmhond's name lived up to the myth, nothing was quite impossible for him and Kaz's love for money could get him to plot even the tiniest detail.
Their objective this time was to steal some kind of jewel called "the moon's tears". It was a gem said to be worth four million kruge, to be bargained for even more; the crows' biggest heist yet. The vault it was in was widely known for its impenetrable security measures, including seemingly impenetrable barriers, intricate lock mechanisms, and a team of highly skilled guards.
Those two were absolutely insane! Even before one considered the noble who owned the vault and therefore the gem they were trying to steal, knew Kaz from the past. It was an extremely peculiar coincidence that a masquerade ball was taking place some distance away from the location of the vault, which represented the perfect opportunity for the work.
This would allow them to exploit the lack of security and sweep the gem away. Nina would ideally take care of the distraction, to keep the nobleman from returning home too quick, but her heartrending abilities would be helpful to make a quick work to make the few officers guarding the vault doze off.
So it became Y/N's job. A job she was to complete with Sturmhond.
After the meeting ended and Y/N's headache had worsened, a deep voice was heard from behind her. She turned to find the charming privateer flashing a smile at her. "Looking forward to working with you, darling" He commented, offering his hand out and all. She took it and shook half-heartedly, eager to just go home and sleep for the rest of the evening.
"Me too, handsome" Irony laced in her tone. "Doesn't seem like it, you alright? You look like a ghost. Lovely, yes, but still ghostly" The comment made her smile, tightening the grasp on his hand but not shaking anymore "Just hungover s'all" "Told you so!" Jesper proclaimed from their side as everyone directed themselves to the door.
The privateer smiled sweetly. "Got any plans this evening?" "Other than rotting in my room until my body stops hurting? Not really. Why?" Y/N looked down briefly, realizing she still hadn't let go of his hand and then released her grasp "Well, if my days at sea have thought me anything other than how to read the stars..." he started, tapping the necklace with a star charm the girl sported.
A "gift" from Kaz (some jewelry that wasn't redeemed from a heist he let her keep). "...is how to cure a hangover. Mind coming with me to a bar? You can decide which". Going to a bar with a complete stranger who had a reputation of being in trouble most of the time and who she were to work with? Sure thing.
"Promise youll make it go away?" "Promise".
˚ · • . °
And what a plot twist he was. Jesper had jokingly said to the girl that she shouldn't take a privateer's word but he did termiante her hangover with some strange, black-ish liquid she didn't dare to ask the composition of. Then they drank more.
As the drinks arrived, they raised their glasses, the clink of crystal breaking the spell of their silent connection. Sturmhond smiled, his eyes twinkling with mischief. "To new adventures and unexpected encounters," he proposed, his voice smooth and velvety.
Y/N couldn't help but return the smile, feeling the warmth of excitement spread through her veins. "To embracing the unknown," she replied, raising her glass in agreement. They took a sip, the flavors dancing on their tongues. A comfortable silence settled between them, allowing the sounds of the bar to envelop them. After a moment, Sturmhond leaned in, his voice low and captivating.
"So, Y/N, what brings you to this lawless corner of the world?". He asked, genuine curiosity lacing his words. Y/N's eyes sparkled as she recounted her journey, the challenges she faced, and the dreams that fueled her determination. Sturmhond listened intently, his attention unwavering, as if she held the secrets of a hidden treasure.
As she spoke, Y/N couldn't help but notice the genuine interest in Sturmhond's eyes. He asked thoughtful questions and shared stories of his own adventures, effortlessly weaving tales of daring escapades that left Y/N hanging on his every word.
The conversation flowed effortlessly, a seamless exchange of ideas, dreams, and aspirations. Time seemed to melt away as they delved into deeper discussions, finding solace in the connection they were building. Laughter intertwined with their words, a symphony of shared amusement and understanding.
They became lost in each other's company, entranced by the way their thoughts aligned and their hearts danced to the same rhythm. And as the night wore on, their conversation continued, their new found connection growing stronger with every passing moment.
She couldn't help but think of Kaz, when exiting the bar, and on the way back to The Slat. When would he ever, in a million years, make her feel so seen? How could he? He seemed to be nothing but cold and a bad type of confusing to the girl.
Y/N was not blind, either. Sturmhond was known for his endless romantic encounters with women across the sea, and he was interested in her. Now, she could not deny the guy was a charming boy too pretty for this Earth, sharp as a knife and, as she found out that evening, shared a lot of ideals and interests with her.
Could he maybe work as a rebound? Maybe. Would she shamelessly use him as that? Could be. Having his eyes on her that whole meeting was no coincidence, and she liked his attention. Maybe what mends a broken heart was a handsome privateer.
They agreed to meet up the next day, his treat.
˚ · • . °
Back at the Slat, Kaz was fuming. No, not fuming; seething. A bar outing? She just met him! He could not believe his eyes when they were talking hand in hand like they had known each other from a previous lifetime.
In the little time that had passed since (most of) the crows had returned from the meeting, Kaz had already gotten four drunks kicked out, death-stared a group of dregs twice so they'd shorten their break time to get them to work and downed four vodka shots.
Why was he this mad? She wasn't even his and as far as she knew; he had no intentions of being hers either. The boy couldn't be mad at her, but he was, and Kaz knew very well he was being a big selfish shit. He could not blame Y/N either; the bastard she had been crushing on gives no signs of interest but a privateer handsome as the devil shows up with his attention completely focused on her? Of course she'd fall.
He just hated that feeling.
It's presence looms, heavy and suffocating, wrapping its tendrils around the heart, constricting with an iron grip. It whispers sweet poison into the mind, distorting reality and fueling irrational fears. Like a tempestuous storm, it rages within, lightning crackling with envy, thunder rumbling with resentment. It paints the world in hues of green, tarnishing every joyous moment with a bitter aftertaste.
And then his heart sunk into the depths of his dark soul when he saw them walk in hand in hand. That was the first time Y/N had walked into a room and not looked for him, he noticed. She was laughing at something Sturmhond had said as they walked up the stairs until they reached the door of Y/N's room. He kissed her hand and she kissed his cheek.
The privateer then walked down the stairs, noticing Kaz staring.
"She's one of a kind, that one... Might stay a bit more after the job's done. See you tomorrow, Brekker"
The feeling was now leaving an empty, bottomless void in his soul. He bottomed his shot glass then poured another one.
˚ · • . °
Time kept ticking and the void intensified, but Kaz learnt how to deal with it.
He learnt how to deal with it when he kissed her after the job was done.
He learnt how to deal with it when Y/N took a break from the crows to leave with him for six months.
He learnt how to deal with it when she returned from her trip, beautiful tan skin and a diamond on her finger.
He learnt how to deal with it when he saw her crying herself to sleep because she missed him.
He learnt how to deal with it when she left for good.
He learnt how to deal with it when she was named queen of Ravka.
Kaz just learnt how to live with the shame and regret of not recognizing that the one thing he needed was right in front of him, hoping she'd have a place next to him.
˚ · • . ° .
Hi! Thank you so much for reading, hope you enjoyed:) I'm actually sorry for this one...
Remember, the best way to support writer’s works on here is by REBLOGGING WITH TAGS. I’d very much appreciate it if you did!
Thanks again, stranger. Hope you have a nice day<3
NO ONE IS ALLOWED TO REPOST AS THEIR OWN/TRANSLATE/OR COPY MY WORK IN ANY PLATFORM OR SPACE WITHOUT MY EXPLICIT CONSENT.
#kaz brekker#six of crows#kaz brekker x reader#shadow and bone#grishaverse#six of crows x reader#grishaverse x reader#kaz brekker imagine#kaz brekker fic#kazbrekker#kaz x reader#kaz brekker fanfic#kaz brekker angst#kaz brekker smut#kaz brekker oneshot#nikolai lantsov imagines#nikolai lanstov#prince nikolai#nikolai lantsov#nikolai lantsov fluff#nikolai lantsov smut#nikolai lantsov x reader#nikolai lanstov x y/n#nikolai lanstov x reader#grishaverse oneshot#grishaverse headcanons#grishaverse fanfic#grishaverse imagines
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sanctuary
pairing: jude bellingham x f1 driver!reader
summary: after an eventful singapore gp, the only thing you can think of is your comfy bed but your body has another plan and your boyfriend isn't happy about that. [wc: 1,6k]
req: Ferrari driver reader x jude where she feels a bit dizzy after a race and kind of faints when they get at the hotel, like just fluff with him taking care of her + CAN YOU WRITE JUDE ANGST THEN FLUFF IDC ABT THE SCENARIO JS JUDE ANGST IN JUDE X DRIVER READER 🙏🙏
contents: established relationship, charles is reader's teammate, ferrari being good au (impossible ik), reader faints, jude is a worried bf, barely has angst ngl 🏃♀️, nothing else i think
note: i have no idea how to write about fainting and it probably shows. ALSO, i wrote most of this at 1am so i hope it makes sense (probably doesn't but we move😪)
now playing: sanctuary by joji (nectar)
usually you would say you absolutely loved singapore. the track was one of your favourites on the calendar and you practically counted down the days to this race. but this week was probably the most difficult of your entire career in motorsports. of course, marina bay had never been an easy race, and the weather conditions in singapore were only making it harder to handle. but this year, no number of ice bath and cold shower could appease the dizzying headache that plagued your weekend.
and to add to that, everyone at the team has been stressing you out about the championship. obviously, you were grateful that you could finally fight for one, ferrari had built the perfect car this season. but this came with a price, fighting against charles for the title. you were great friends with your teammate but you had to admit your relationship took a toll with the constant tension between the two of you throughout the season. anyone wearing a bright red kit kept reminding you that you needed to be careful on track, that if you crashed with anyone, but especially with charles, you'd be in great trouble.
thankfully your boyfriend joined you after qualifying, and made your weekend instantly better. he noticed something was wrong right away. of course, you told jude about your struggles but he didn't expect to find you in this state.
"maybe you shouldn't race tomorrow..?"
you took a glance at jude, laid down on the hotel room bed, to check if he actually meant what he just uttered only to find a very serious look on his face.
"yeah, i'll just call fred to tell him i'm feeling sick and don't care about the championship anymore, that's definitely the best choice i have." sarcasm dripped out of your words as jude rolled his eyes.
"just because you had a bad day, doesn't mean you have to give me an attitude." it was your turn to roll your eyes. you quietly got under the sheets and muttered a barely audible 'goodnight', clearly not having the energy to argue with him tonight.
as you closed your eyes you felt jude turn around to wrap you in his arms around you.
"i'm just worried for my girl, that's all." he said, softly kissing your hair. you turned around to face him, having to trace his face before finding his lips because of the darkness of the room, and pressed a quick kiss on his lips.
"i appreciate your concern, i really do. but this race is so much more important than a silly headache. i'll be okay." you kissed him again for good measure. "you're gonna have to trust me with this one."
"i always trust you." the two of you talked some more before falling asleep in each other's arms.
—
the only thing you could think of when you stepped out of your car was your bed. as expected the race had been particularly draining and truth be told, you didn't know if you would be able to stand on the podium in your state. you managed to score a satisfying p2, well it would have been more satisfying if charles wasn't standing on the highest step of the podium, with a 4-point difference before catching on you in the driver's standing.
when the whole team congratulated you on your results, it felt like you were in a fever dream, barely making out what was real and what wasn't. you didn't even notice jude talking to you before he snapped his fingers in front of you.
"are you okay ? should i take you to the medics ?" he asked in a worried tone.
"i'm alright... just need to get through the podium." which did not happen. you ran off stage as soon as the italian anthem stopped ringing in your ears. it was all too much, the heat, the noise, the exhaustion, the pressure. all too much to handle for you.
when you joined jude, he was already talking with your pr manager, telling her you wouldn't be able to do any media work right now. it was the truth, not a petty lie to get away with it. you genuinely felt even more lightheaded (if that was possible) at the sole thought of having to go through a dozen interviews.
seeing you barely standing straight must have conceived her, so soon enough you were on your way back to the hotel in a cab jude called.
you quietly laid your head on jude's shoulder. he barely said a word to you since the podium incident, only asking how you felt, if you drank enough water, and how many hours of sleep you had. you watched him as he typed things on his phone in total silence. you wondered if he was mad at you for putting yourself in such a situation or only worried. regardless, you felt a pang of sadness in your heart thinking about it before drifting off.
—
as soon as jude opened your hotel room's door, you felt your legs giving up on you, your hands found the wall to steady yourself. you could hear jude's voice but couldn't make out what he was saying, like you were underwater.
you tried making it to the bed, but you fell down on your knees and just propped your back against it, waiting a minute before getting up, to get your head to stop spinning uncontrollably.
"y/n. are you okay ?" you felt your boyfriend kneeling down next to you and could finally understand his words, but it felt like they were resonating in your brain, only worsening your headache.
"i'm fine, i'm fine... i just need a moment." you didn't want to worry jude more than he already was, although the weak tone of your voice alarmed him more than anything. you felt him shift around you, and caught a glimpse of him coming back from the bathroom before your eyes shut.
when you woke up, you were laid on the bed with a wet cloth on your forehead. and the first thing you saw was a wide-eyed jude handing you a glass of water.
"i thought about making you drink when you were... asleep? but i didn't want to drown you. so i waited for you to wake up." he was talking fast, too fast for you to fully understand his nonsense.
"hello to you too." your voice was still weak but you felt much better than at the race track. you quickly took a few sips of water before jude tried drowning you for good.
"what's that ?" you asked pointing at the cloth still laying on your face.
"some website said that's what you're supposed to do when your irresponsible girlfriend faints." you hid your face in your pillow at his accusatory words.
"no, but seriously y/n. do you have any idea of how worried i was ? imagine if something wrong happened. god, i knew i shouldn't have let you race..." his words had an angry tone to them and you were confused as to why jude was mad at you over hypothetical scenarios.
"but nothing wrong happened, i even got points. are you not proud of me ?"
"are you being serious right now ? you know i'm always proud of you, points or no points. but you think i'm gonna clap for you after putting yourself in danger like that ?" jude's tone got somewhat angrier but he kept going.
"fuck, when you fainted i already saw myself explaining everything to your mum. you can't take those risks, especially when you drive a fast car for a living. you can understand that right ?"
you felt tears well up in your eyes at his words, thinking about how worried he must have been this whole time.
"i'm sorry, it's just... i've been thinking about the championship a lot. i guess that clouded my judgment." you wiped away your tears quickly, before jude could notice them but it was too late.
"hey, hey, hey... you shouldn't be saying sorry to me, you probably spent a worse weekend than i did anyway. i'm not mad at you but at the situation, alright ?" his fingers stroke the wet spots under your eyes, wiping what was left of your tears away. "i'm proud of you, and happy for your points. but you're not winning a championship by making your dangerous job even more dangerous." his voice and his eyes were soft and you felt your chest get significantly warmer.
"you're right..." the room got silent for a couple seconds at your words.
"what was that ? i couldn't hear you babe" jude had a shit-eating grin on his face and you knew exactly what he wanted, and it almost made you physically sick to give him this satisfaction.
"i said... you'reright." you tried getting those terrible words out as fast as you could, but he wasn't happy with that.
"mmh mmh, that won't do... say it nice and loud for me love." you felt your face heat up, both in fluster and embarrassment at his words.
"you're right." your words had a defeated tone to them, but jude decided that would be enough by the way he didn't taunt you anymore.
he moved and got under the covers with you, even though you were gonna have to get up again as you were both still dressed. he just wanted to share this little moment of peace with you.
"you know, it's crazy how you drive the fastest car in the world but can't survive singapore's heat for a weekend." you playfully elbowed jude's ribs at his teasing.
you were grateful to have someone like jude to support you and your intense lifestyle, but also someone to talk about silly little things, legs tangled under the sheets.
#i can write a pt2 with another req#in which reader wins the wdc#and something cute happens#anyone wanna see it ?#jude bellingham one shot#jude bellingham imagine#jude bellingham blurb#jude bellingham x reader#jude bellingham#jude bellingham fluff#jude bellingham fanfic#football one shot#football fanfic#football fluff#footballer imagine#football imagine#football x reader#football x you#football x y/n#jude bellingham x y/n#jude bellingham x you
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IMAGINING. . . SOOBIN W TATTOOS !!
p — CHOI SOOBIN × FEM!READER | g — suggestive asfff, slight fluff, s2l!au kinda, | w — sexual tension type like a lot, pool scene, mentions of reader wearing revealing clothing (again it's literally a pool scene), mention of cigs somewhere + not really proofread
A/N — based on a thirst trap I saw on ig you have me on chokehold for the rest of the month <3 idc if the concept doesn't fit I needed it.
🖇️ READ PART TWO HERE !!
PARTIALLY INSPIRED BY ARIANA GRANDE'S “BREAK UP W/ YOUR GIRLFRIEND” MV & SONG
you've been friends with soobin for quite some time now— you kicked it off at a cafe when your friend wanted to meet up after coming back to town. she had a few other friends there with her, choi soobin being one of them. “dude, you have to meet soobin,” you recalled your friend telling you, that you he was this fun guy with a great fashion sense, and you'd just brushed her aside, not paying too much attention.
but now, you kind of wished you did. soobin wasn't anything like you imagined. you probably pictured an average looking guy with a personality that reached depths, maybe wore a few fashionable pieces here and there. but you didn't expect him to have wear the simplest outfits, and yet look like— well, the way he did.
you eyed him in a white t shirt covering all of his arms, the thin material subtilty revealing dark outlines on his skin, a delicate pendant around his neck and fluffy hair brushed aside to make room for his glasses. and when he smiled at a joke your friend made...shit. he was kind of cute.
and soobin made his efforts to talk to you, but you couldn't help but focus on his body language— his fingers gripping his forearm, his jacket riding down to show a few tattoos on his shoulder— and you'd mask a smile at him when you'd hear him repeat a question he asked you earlier, trying not to focus on the way his hand rested on his thigh.
and you'd see soobin when your friends hung out often— usually sitting in one of the corners of the table where you could observe everyone talk, and then driving people home in his car. but, despite his appearance, soobin was a sweet fucking guy. always offering you a napkin at dinner or lending you his jacket on a particularly windy night.
and everytime he stretched while he silently watched everyone talk at the table, you noticed there was something scribbled on his soft skin underneath his full sleeve shirt. and he'd catch you staring sometimes, his bangs falling over his eyes as he bent over to tap you on your knee, asking with a small smile if you're lost in thought.
so maybe, soobin had been growing on you. just a bit.
and the night you left a party after arguing with your ex about how you don't want to “try again,” some back and forth between bittersweet, blaring music & heated expressions flashing through shifting lights— your relationship had come to an end as abruptly as it had started, and you intended to keep it that way. refusing with a harsh pull, you rubbed your bare arms as you walked away, sliding between sweaty bodies in the tight room.
and you remember taking a seat outside, trying to wrap yourself in a shawl as cold wind nipped at your bare legs, muttering curses to your ex. the uncomfortably irritating sound of a couple making out in the corner was making your headache worse, as blaring music from inside muffled with the blowing wind.
you glanced down at your phone, knowing it'll offer you better entertainment than whatever was inside, when you saw a couple of texts from soobin a few hours ago.
SOOBIN
[11:12 pm] hey, y/n, how's the party?
how was the party? you scoffed to yourself, cigarette smoke wafting around in the air as you twiddled your thumbs hovering above the keyboard, trying to think of a response— when you reached over and pressed the call button, not really expecting him to pick up. “hey, soobin. I know it's super late, but can you pick me up?”
and soobin's response was a bit delayed, as if he was shocked you called, but he replied with something that sounded in-between a ‘sure’ and a hum, his voice hoarse. “oh, soobin. did I wake you up?”
“no, no. I was wide awake,” then you heard him yawn. your cheeks flushed as you tapped your foot to the ground, “sorry about that, soobin.”
he ignored your apology, mumbling at you to send him your location with another yawn. maybe you should have thought twice before calling him at nearly 4 in the night. but you didn't know that soobin was secretly over the moon at you calling him, he was just too sleepy to show it— every second he got, he had always picked to be your side. slowing down his pace to walk beside you, or discreetly allowing his fingers to brush against yours whenever he got a chance to, had his heart beating like crazy. you had his heart beating like crazy.
and when you finally sat in the passenger seat of soobin's car after a few more calls he made confirming your location— fuck.
you knew there was something suspicious about soobin always wearing a full sleeve shirt even in the hottest weather possible, but last thing you expected was him having an arm full of tattoos resting on the wheel, the other out the window. his designs slowly circled and disappeared behind the strap of his black tank top. and when your eyes trailed below towards his sleeping shorts, accidentally catching them riding up as he bent over to lower the aircon—
you snapped your eyes forward, feeling a blush settle on your cheeks. your fingers clutching the end of your shawl tightened.
and little did you know, soobin did it on purpose. he'd seen the way you looked at him, your eyes slyly (or not) slipping down to gaze at his arm flex when he scratched the back of his neck or readjusted his hair, a guilty, dark shift to your eyes when you'd notice his fingers on his thighs. and was it that bad to admit he liked it when he saw the expression on your face lightly change when you noticed a tattoo peeking out? you'd slowly press your legs together, a hand moving to hide your face as you'd look the other direction, trying to focus at the conversation everyone else was involved in. but he'd see you slowly default back to him, and everytime, he'd feel a tingle in his stomach when you'd lick your lips, and excuse yourself to go to the bathroom.
“how are you? how was the party?” he gave you a sleepy smile in the car, his eyes glazing over you. you looked towards him, pressing your lips together at the way his hair fluffed up, his hand rubbing his thigh as he leaned his head back to the headrest, revealing the shape of his jaw—“good. met my ex. not doing that again,” you nodded, earning a small chuckle from him.
and throughout the drive, you felt yourself slipping into sleep, accidentally focusing on your reflection in the windshield instead of the traffic. your eyelids closing, the soft bass of a summer song playing in the background, the fresh car scent wafting around you— before the car would jerk, shooting you awake. “sorry,” soobin would mumble, throwing you an apologetic look before he'd suggest you lay your seat back, allowing you to sleep in a more comfortable position. and you remember refusing, curling into a ball to sleep instead.
and occasionally, a speeding car would pass by an intersection, and soobin would lean his arm out to stop you from falling forward as the car came to a sudden stop, a serious expression on his face as he asked you, “you okay?” and the two of you would trail your eyes down to his hand on your bare thigh, hearts skipping beats. and he'd snap his hand back, apologizing and trying to clear his intentions, when you'd just giggle him an, “its okay!” thanking him for looking out for you. and the drive would start again, and he'd yawn after hearing you yawn yet again, eyelashes bearing sleepy tears.
and right before he dropped you off at your place, he turned his body to face you, scratching the back of his neck. he was telling you something about not hesitating to call him, but did he really think you'd pay attention? your eyes watched the way his detailed arms flexed when he ran his hand through his hair, his fingers tugging at the material of his shorts. your eyes watched the stars sprinkled across his collarbones attentively, wishing you could see the designs that hid behind his clothes.
and when soobin held a small ‘get together’ as he called it— was really a party— you thought you'd really never lived. you weren't planning on going, but after being urged by everyone in your circle, there you were, wearing swimming clothes underneath your dress and holding hands with your friend as you walked into the venue.
and eyeing soobin in the crowd, soft giggles and hushed whispers as the bass snuck up your legs— and you felt your stomach tighten when he glanced over towards you, a hand gesturing to come closer.
and dipping your feet as you watched everyone urge soobin to jump in the pool— him shyly refusing with a shake of his hand as he backed away, trying not to glance at you, sitting sweetly as your legs tread in the water. and he didn't notice someone sneak behind him, pushing him in, earning cheers from everyone around. and when he came up to the surface— beads of water dripping down as he pushed his hair back with a scowl and furrowed eyebrows, his dimples suddenly popping out. and he noticed you giggling as he pulled his top off, your eyes glazing over the chain that hung in the dents of his shoulders and collarbones, and he broke out into a smile, slowly walking towards you. “come on, y/n, jump in.”
you refused without actually meaning to, but then, everyone started a chant lead by soobin— and the last thing you remember before your ears crashed against the surface of the water was soobin's chin coming to rest on your knees, tilting his head with a smirk as he snaked his hands around your thighs to pull you in.
and everyone followed suit, splashes of water against your cheeks as soobin held your arms, laughing as the waves hit your face.
and everything happened so fast, his arms clinging to you when someone splashed water on you, or him wiping the water out of his face with a soft gasp. his hand on your waist, your leg slowly wrapping around his waist as he pushed you into a corner when everyone left to grab towels— bending lower, almost underneath the water when you felt his breath hit the cold skin of your lips, a soft, “can I?” as he pulled your hair to the side, his lips against your own, pushing you against the cold walls of the pool.
the sensation of the ripples of water against your hips was sending you over the edge whenever he adjusted your legs around him, softly smiling when he'd hear you mumble something in between, feeling your hands around him. and it was almost horrifying the way you could hear him kiss you, despite the music in the back, despite the water rippling around the two of you.
and you remember you snuck your fingers to pull lightly at his hair, the other hand finding it's way to tug the pendant around his neck when he pulled away— hooded eyes and cute puffy lips, his cheeks pink as he whispered, dragging your hand down his tattooed chest.
“if you keep doing that, we'll have a little problem.”
txt — masterlist
main taglist (hmu to get added!) — @koishua @navyhyuck @allegxdly @daystiny @kdyism @neotism @bluejaem @radiorenjun @sleepylixie @oifelixcmerebrou @mrkcore @imdamnconfused @sicluvz @abhirami20 @tyongishs @emvrd @brxght-world @1921choi @bangchansbae
I’d appreciate if you’d give me a little feedback on the drabble if you read, whether it’s an ask, a reply or in the tags of the rb! Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed!
#soobin#choi soobin#soobin fluff#soobin suggestive#choi soobin fluff#soobin reactions#choi soobin scenarios#soobin scenarios#soobin soft hours#soobin soft thoughts#choi soobin imagines#soobin imagines#txt soobin#soobin txt#soobin tomorrow x together#soobin timestamps#soobin thoughts#soobin headcanons#choi soobin x you#choi soobin x reader#soobin x reader#soobin x y/n#soobin x you#txt scenarios#txt imagines#txt blurbs#txt reactions#txt headcanons#txt timestamps#txt x reader
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You said when you were watching the Descendants rise of red teaser trailer you didn't get to pause and look for details since it was a quick watch but assuming you've watched it fully now, can I get your thoughts and opinions?
⚠️ KINDA LONG POST⚠️
I will be sharing MY thoughts and opinions on The new teaser trailer for rise of red, so if that bothers you it's time to ski dazzle off of My post 💋
Feel free to Reblog with your ideas aswell. Would love to see em
Okay so the first thing I thought of when kylie(red) pulled out all the spray paint and start doing her thing, was Mal. Like Disney bae it's giving Mal dupe.
Second and this one got me cracking was The Merlin Academy. Like My brain totally disregarded it as in I FORGOT ABOUT IT, so imagine to my horror when red is spray painting I see them BLAM! Plastered on the wall in all their Evil Glory.
Okay so I found this picture on Instagram where someone got a close up and other than Ulyanna, Maleficent, Hades and Hook, I don't know who the others are ( sorry not sorry) Now underneath the picture we can see on a plaque the words "vk students" now this made me realize why the title vk was so accepting when the core four came to aruadon, Because it wasnt the first time the title had been given/used.
Now look at this close up of teen Maleficent all I have to say is Wtf is that.
If those things at the side of her head are supposed to be horns, respectfully she needs to chop them tf off?? And is she wearing a ponytail??? Now I haven't seen Maleficent in a long time but isn't she supposed to have brown hair? Now idc if they give her a different hair color but the outfit and those HORNS especially are not giving!!!.
Like I saw someone do a redesign of this descendantofthesparrow I think and it was jaw dropping absolutely gorgeous, like mam what's your major? Anyways yeah I've seen this person done a ton of redesign and rewrites that when I watch descendants I'm like "oh yeah, this is Canon and the good stuff is fanfic"
Now this whole time travel thing doesn't make sense to Me because am I really supposed to believe that Hades who's older Than all of them by thousands of years went to school with them? Like what.
I'm going to assume Ulyanna is the Leader of the gang because she's in the middle and everyone else is in the back and from what we've seen the Leader is always in the middle.
Now I have a feeling rise of red will be pushing to make Hades and Maleficent a thing so we can see how Mal became a thing, just an assumption. Respectfully If they try to make hook and ulyanna a thing I will jump tf off. There was something else I wanted to say about Hades and Maleficent but I forgot and will most likely reblog this post when I remember.
now this is the Queen of Hearts and once again Descendants isn't following Canon because I'm pretty sure Carlos mentioned at one point that he used to drive his mom to the queen of hearts castle.
Now if I didn't know already that this is the queen of hearts and u shoved this pic in my fave and was like "girly who do you think this is?" I WOULD NOT SAY THE QUEEN OF HEARTS, I MEAN JUST LOOK AT HER SHE'S RED! Where are the other colors??? There's no white, no black just RED. Now as a theatre kid we've done better, with less money!!!. Disney I hope you are ashamed because you should be.
Now descendants brandy Cinderella has blue hair which doesn't make any damn sense so I'm guessing that's why Chole has blur hair. I really wish there outfits were better because with the og 4 we could tell what their main colors were without it being to much but now It's Def too much. I've got a few more things to add because I feel like I haven't said everything I wanted to so maybe I'll reblog with more later. Who knows
#disney descendants#descendants#mal descendants#disney hades#Maleficent#disney rise of red#descendants rise of red
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Special for mootie: my headcannons on @imaginary-grandpa Prime!!
(btw mootie take my opinion as a grain of sand in a dessert cause it's just silly things I thought when rereading the blog jvj- btw like this is one of my fav asks in Tumblr and just wanted to y'know..talk about it and give my mootie support cause they create amazing stuff)
-based on this ask I hc that Prime curious to what Morty enjoyed started watching Morty's cartoons and even present Morty some that he watched as a kid, maybe gifted comics too (clearly he was talking aboUT Ben 10 so I imagine the Ben 10 comics as some gifts) I also imagine the 2 watching some 2000's CN shows like courage the coward dog (Morty would be TERRIFIED and cling to Prime's arm while he is just vibing eating popcorn) or Codename: Kids Next Door and just make stuff together based on the shows, it became a habit for Prime to gift these to Morty (sometimes even summer IF he feels in the mood)
based on this one I think Summer and Prime have this complicated dynamic, clearly Summer cares for Morty and is protecting her lil brother WHO CLEARLY IS NAIVE (which hey as a easily kidnapable kid, relatable) I imagine in the first weeks or months Summer would be SO ON GUARD and just silently judge Prime and give him looks that she'll jump on him and bite him.
OK this will sound stupid but THIS made me think, hey based on "Tales from the citadel" (rewatched this weekend with my dad and it's A FAV of mine) we know there's variants to universes so there could be a Prime dimension A, B, C etc; what if, Prime just killed the other Primes to a level or just let them fuck off cause y'know, whatever he doesn't care, and in exchange, he goes to this reality that C-137 didn't found due to being an obscure timeline and WAY in the past, this way he'll have a safe reality just like his original in every sense but without wife guy knowing and thinking there's only one Prime dimension, now abandoned. OR I'm just overthinking and the whole ask is BEFORE canon Rick and Morty, literally years before C-137 reached Prime dimension and what we are seeing is an alternate reality he CHOSE to come early to get his leftover shit-- well i'm probably just overthinking but eh, it's fun to imagine shit
I'm focusing more on the image here but my note is: I like to imagine Prime comes over either in the morning when Beth is out and Jerry is well, being jerry, and since morty is really young prob he doesn't go to school yet and wouldn't need to go to a daycare due to jerry being there + Summer, but I think he could come late into the night when Jerry and Beth are asleep and just sound proof the garage, the kids stay up all night with Prime and sleep in the morning/noon. As for the image, I already commented this on a reblog but, Prime actually looks happy in those pictures, which makes me wonder if something happenned between him and diane in the first place on the past, BUT idk if i'm JUST overthinking (look i'm autistic with a hyperfocus, I look for detail onto the tiniest shit ever) but in the one with only him and diane his smile looks a bit unnerving, maybe forced? Anyway clearly Prime got angry when talking of being replaced, or when we bring up Diane, so I'm just guessing he didn't kill her JUST to kill her, something else had to happen.
*cough* I need to actually see this happening in the blog *cough* but it kinda makes me think if Prime even thinks he is toxic in any way cause well, clearly he feels something for these kids and family, remembers stuff with Diane and Beth and doesn't just fuck off, perhaps, just like C-137 he would consider this "irrational"? idk I just like to think Prime every single night after coming back to his place alone runs a hand in his hair and thinks wtf is wrong with him to want to come over again
idk, silly but he made the costumes, Summer helped, he is into crafts but would never admit
just to finish this, SUMMER BULLIES HIM AND JOKES HE IS LIKE A CAT JUST TO GET HIM MAD. IDC, SHE MADE IT ON PURPOSE AND GETS WHAT I'M SAYING.
#silly#headcannons#writing#ask blog#rick and morty#silly thing for my mootie#mooties ♡#prime rick#rick prime
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"The representation in hh is bad" I'm sorry all those scaleys and furries didn't represent you well enough 😔
I find it strange when people judge the demonic characters cause like.....okay?? Yeah, Alastor is pale....but I also don't think he was fucking deer when he was alive. I could be wrong tho x3c Also, they completely ignore good POC rep like Sera, Velvette (esp her hair in the Finale), Clara, and possibly many more.
Like, maybe you shouldn't be judging characters that have PURPLE SKIN AND ANIMAL TRAITS! You can dislike it all you want. Idc. But calling them bad rep when that isn't even what these Sinners looked like when alive.....come on now x3
If anything, I'm glad skin color and all that doesn't matter. Because, lbh, once you're in Hell or Heaven...does it really matter anymore? I mean, if you're in Hell, all of you fucked up and if you're in Heaven, then that would be hypocritical.
I understand wanting more cultural depth to the characters. But, again, once in your Hell...I don't think it matters. You can't tell what anyone is, especially when there are Sinners who have turned into furniture x3c
Yes, I understand the need for rep (can't say positive rep with this show tbh lol). But why are you making a character all about their skin color? There's more to anyone than their skin color or even their culture. They are a person. Treat them as such and get to know their culture by learning more about them as a person.
Idk if that made sense xP I kinda just rambled at the end. I'm also very sick, so 🙃 Idk it's a fucking cartoon about some demons redeeming themselves. I don't think skin color entirely matters to the plot here
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Rosyln
[Jacob Black] X [Reader]
One shot
Prompt: Unwilling Imprint, ANGST
Pronouns: I tried to be gender-neutral but I may have messed up a few times.
TW: DESCRIPTIONS OF BLOOD AND GORE. Read at your discretion. A little bit of mommy issues lmao. (laughing through the pain rn)
Notes: I don’t have the best grasp on what phones were like in the 2000’s so it’s probably inaccurate. Jake is fine y'all please don’t call paw patrol. JUSTICE FOR LEAH CLEARWATER. A little bit of simping for her because idc she's gorgeous and I love her.
I realized that the timing for this is a little confusing, so its supposed to take place in like the middle of New Moon but I wrote that Seth and Leah had already shifted, which doesn't happen until eclipse so pls ignore that.
THE FUCKING TITLE HAS BEEN SPELLED WRONG THIS WHOLE TIME ITS ROSYLN NOT ROSLYN
꧂☾✮☽꧁
Jacob Black had made it clear he didn't want me in his life anymore. Those last words I had heard from him burned themselves into my memory, into my very skin.
"It wasn't supposed to be you."
I cringed and tried to sink into the bed further, but the mattress wouldn’t let me in. My eyes traced the shapes in the popcorn ceiling of my room, and I tried desperately to think of anything else. Making shapes out of nothing—and stories to go with it. Yet my mind seemed to somehow circle back. Everything seemed to remind me of him. And the last time I saw him.
The rain pounded against the steps of my front porch, drenching my clothes in muggy water. The deafening sound almost tore me away from the boy in front of me. But he wasn't the boy I knew before. He was taller, bigger, and much meaner. He said nothing for a moment, he just stared at me. I couldn’t read his expression—it was many things all at once. There seemed to be some sort of realization, then confusion, and then hatred. A burning hatred that made me want to shrink away from him. It made my skin crawl. I was suddenly very aware of the way my clothes now hung to my skin, the rainwater adding an extra pound or two.
He shook violently, his breath hitching. His eyes darted around like they were searching for something.
I hadn’t expected him to change so drastically in the two weeks I hadn’t seen him. His long, dark hair was cut short. His formerly lanky figure looked like that of a man twice his age. And his dark skin bore an intricate tattoo located on his right shoulder. It was the same tattoo Sam had. Sam, the man he apparently hated.
"It wasn't supposed to be you."
That was the last thing he said to me, before storming away. Into his truck, and out of my life.
It hurt to think about it, I tried to convince myself that it was somehow my fault. That I had said or done something wrong. Something so vile that it would make him hate me enough to leave. But why would he be so angry with me? I had called him, I called Billy. I even tried calling Charlie. No one would give me a coherent answer. Charlie was the only one willing to give me anything. Saying something about how Jacob and Bella had gotten into a big fight, and she was receiving similar treatment. But to know that he had at least had contact with her while having ignored me completely. It stung. It made my skin crawl, and I felt a burning sense of rage. But it was overshadowed by guilt. Maybe it was my fault—or was it selfish to assume that everything in his life revolved around me?
I felt tempted to call Bella. It seemed like she knew the most about whatever had Jacob acting this way. I bit my lip, weighing my options. Bella and I were never close, I knew that Jacob liked her. Jacob liked her a lot—I bit my lip a little harder at that thought. I hated the way he would swoon whenever she breathed in his direction. How he would trip over his feet trying to please her. And yet he couldn’t take the hint that she didn’t want him. And she refused to let him go. Wrapping him around her finger and leading him on, only to pull back as soon as he got his hopes up. I stared at my phone, I had Bella’s number saved somewhere deep within my contacts. The last time I had actually used it was weeks ago when I tried to be friends with her—she had denied my advances of course. I reached for my phone hesitantly. My heartbeat quickened slightly. Would she even answer me? Was it rude to try and talk to her just so I could ask about Jacob? Especially while they were fighting? My finger hovered above the call button. I pressed it quickly, it was worth a shot.
The phone rang for an uncomfortable amount of time, enough for me to start regretting my decision. But before I could chicken out and hang up, Bella answered. She didn’t sound too great. Her voice was slightly hoarse, and it wobbled a bit. It sounded like she was forcing the words out of her mouth.
“Hello?” She answered. It took me a second to remember what I had called her for, though I should have expected this from her. She was almost in the same situation I was in. Almost.
“Hey Bells,” I used the old nickname we had for her when we were kids. I hoped that the friendliness would maybe help convince her to spill the beans about Jacob. “I don't want to pry into your guys’ business, but what's going on with Jacob?” I tried to sound like I was just mildly curious, forcing the worry out of my tone. But I didn't have time to explain my reason for asking before she cut me off.
“He's just not feeling well.” She spoke fast, too fast for me to understand at first. The words jumbled and rushed, slowly connecting in my mind. Not feeling well? He seemed fine to me.
“Oh,” That couldn't be all that was wrong. “Did he say if he was sick?” I questioned. I wanted to drag this conversation out. I wanted to pry as much information as I could from Bella.
She paused on the other side of the phone—I desperately wanted to know what was going on inside her head, to hear what she was keeping from me. There was no way she didn't know more than what she was leading on. “Uh, he said it was Mono. Yeah, he got pretty bad Mono recently so you probably won't see him for a while.” She spit the words out fast. Stumbling over them like the way she stumbles through life. I knew for certain that he did not have Mono. That was the biggest load of shit I had heard since Jacob told me he “didn't have a crush on Bella”. People got Mono from kissing someone else with it, and I knew that Jacob wouldn’t have kissed anyone but Bella. And she was apparently Mono-free.
“Oh that’s awful, when did he get it?” I asked. I had no idea whether or not she knew about my recent encounter with Jacob. Only her answer would tell.
She panicked for a second. “Um, I think it was three weeks ago. Yeah! Three weeks.” She sounded more sure of herself the second time she said it. Bingo.
Bella had always been a bad liar. She’d stutter over her words more than usual, and she’d start to get antsy the longer the lie went on.
“Huh, well that really sucks. If you get a hold of him could you tell him I hope he feels better soon? I haven't been able to contact him.” I didn't plan on telling Bella about Jacob's midnight appearance. She didn't know, which meant she didn't need to know.
“Yeah, I will.” She sounded eager to hang up, so I put her out of her misery. I tossed my phone back onto the bed. And began to calculate my next move.
Bella had no idea that I had seen Jacob, so she had no idea that I was certain he was not sick at all. Sick in the head maybe, but he seemed physically healthy to me. Jacob stood in the pouring rain with no problem, in a sleeveless shirt might I add. And showed no signs of any kind of sickness. From the sound of it, Bella knew he wasn't sick. It was painfully obvious that she was trying to cover for him. I had to come up with some plan of action. I needed Jacob to talk to me. It wasn’t fair that Bella was allowed to know everything while his “best friend” wasn’t.
I inhaled deeply through my nose and exhaled from my mouth. This wasn’t going to be easy. I had no idea where he was, and I knew no one was going to tell me. I could beg Billy to tell me what was going on, he could only handle so much of my puppy-dog eyes before he cracked. I could march my way to Sam’s house and demand to know everything. Both plans of action sounded terrible. It felt selfish. I wasn’t really owed anything, it felt wrong to demand that they tell me their secrets. Maybe once I found out I’d wish that I’d left it alone. Stubborn as always, I decided that I was going to find out. You can’t just shut someone out for no reason and then be upset when they want to know why.
I reached for the stale glass of water on my bedside table and knocked back a large gulp. I cringed at the funny taste. My thoughts flew a mile a minute. I came up with a new plan of action. I was going to go to Jacob’s house and wait for him there. He couldn’t stay away from his house forever and I was willing to wait as long as it took. He would talk to me, whether he liked it or not.
I marched to the other side of my bedroom and rifled through my closet. I picked out the first outfit I found, and threw on a jacket. I snatched my keys and marched to my front door. I didn’t care who I had to ask, I would figure this out. There was no way Jacob was getting rid of me so easily. The puddles on the pavement splashed violently as I stomped through them, soaking through the crevices of my shoes and dampening my socks. But I was too preoccupied to care. The car door creaked from the force that I opened it with, I threw myself into the driver's seat and slammed it shut again. I flinched from the loud noise. I need to slow down a bit. I inhaled, closed my eyes, and relaxed my shoulders. I shouldn’t be driving in such a state. I pried my eyes open and started the car, reversing out of the driveway once I heard the roar of the engine.
The long roads that led to the reservation were more familiar to me than the back of my hands. I had driven there so many times, for as long as I could remember. It hurt to think about every other time I had been here. When things weren’t so complicated. When it was Jake and me against the world. Without Bella. I bit the inside of my cheek, focusing on the pain from that instead of the tears threatening to spill. Breaking down crying while driving was not the best idea. I didn’t need to add a hospital visit and a wrecked car on top of all of the other shit going on in my life. I focused on my breathing, and not crashing the car. With every landmark, I knew I was getting closer. It wasn’t long before I was turning down the road that led to Jacob's house. A cozy, barn-esque house. Where I shared some of my most cherished memories. Though the memories were slightly bitter now. I parked the car in his driveway. Billy Black was sitting on the porch, his eyes bored into my very soul, and I fought the urge to avoid them. He huffed and wheeled himself back into the house.
I shoved myself out of the car and marched up to the front door. I pounded on the stable wood, he wouldn’t ignore me too. Billy swung the door open, looking frustrated and concerned.
“He isn’t here [Y/N]. I’ll tell him you stopped by.” He turned to close the door again. It hurt to have Billy turn me away. I had never felt anything other than welcome in his home, but I was treated like a stranger now, he was treating me like a girl scout. I grabbed the door before it could close.
“Then I’ll wait here for him,” I said in the sternest tone I could manage. It killed me to be rude to Billy. But I kept my guard up. I couldn’t show any sign that I would back down.
Billy sighed but made no move to let me in. He glanced behind him into the house, then back at me.
“I hate to do this to you kid, but you really can’t be here right now.” Billy looked me in the eyes again. His tone was stern but comforting. But I couldn’t give up so easily.
“Why not? Why won't anybody tell me what’s going on?” I was more desperate this time, my faḉade dropping. It took everything in me not to start hysterically screaming.
Billy cringed, it hurt him to shut me out. He obviously knew what was going on with his son but something was stopping him from telling me. He looked up at me again, opening his mouth to speak. But his eyes caught something behind me, and he stopped. I turned around. A red truck pulled into the driveway. Jacob sat in the driver’s seat and huffed when he saw me. I looked next to him, of course, Bella was with him. She bit her lip, and blinked way too many times, looking between me and Jacob. He stepped out of the truck and walked to the other side to open Bella’s door for her. He was just pouring salt on the wound at this point. The pair walked toward me, I opened my mouth to yell at Jake, but he walked right past me, Bella in tow. Billy looked disappointed but said nothing. Bella looked back at me with a look that I couldn’t quite pinpoint. It almost looked like sympathy, but there was venom to it. Not quite a glare, but not friendly. I scoffed. Who does this girl think she is?
“Hey!” I shouted. Jacob paused, his shoulders tensed. But he didn’t turn around to look at me. “What is your problem?” I continued, “What am I not good enough for you anymore? Not cool enough to hang out with you and your new friends?” This went much more calmly in my head. A lot less accusingly. Jacob still refused to look at me. But Bella did. She walked toward me and put her hand on my shoulder.
“[Y/N] I really think you should leave.” Bella insisted, but I shoved her hand off of me. I was even more frustrated that she had the audacity to tell me what to do after she tried to lie to me earlier.
“No! I’m not going anywhere ‘till he explains himself! He has no right to just cut me off.” I yelled, more at him than her. But she still flinched, and I felt a little bad. Jacob spun around now, jumping at the chance to protect Bella. He got in my face and pushed Bella behind him.
“Don’t you dare yell at her.” He glared at me. He shoved me back a bit, the force almost sent me flying, but I held my ground.
“I’m not yelling at her, I'm yelling at you, Jacob. Funny how you only speak to me when you want to protect her. And what the hell does “It wasn’t supposed to be you” mean?” I got right back in his face, confronting him about his last encounter with me. His eyes widened slightly, and he glanced back at Bella. She furrowed her brows and looked at him.
“Jake, what are they talking about?” She held onto Jacob’s shoulder and tried to turn him towards her. But he didn’t budge, only turning his head to look at her.
“Don’t worry about it, Bells.” The nickname made me want to barf. Wasn’t she dating that Cullen guy? Oh right. The Cullens had packed up and moved town a few months ago, the whole town had been so worried about Bella since she was so in love with Edward. I had felt bad for her too, her depressive episode was all too familiar to me. Though it seemed she had moved on and sunk her claws into Jacob now. Suddenly I wasn’t too sympathetic toward her.
“He didn’t tell you?” If he wouldn’t, I would. “He showed up at my doorstep in the pouring rain and told me the most cryptic bullshit I’ve ever heard, before disappearing out of my life!” I shouted. It seemed I had called out to some weather god because a light rain began to fall on all of us. But no one made any move to take shelter. At least this was more dramatic now.
Bella looked confused but didn’t press any further. Jacob turned to me again, he looked more frustrated than mad now.
“Look [Y/N], just go away. If I could tell you I would. But you shouldn’t be here right now.” Jacob started to shake, he wasn’t wearing that thick of clothing, so he was probably cold because of the rain. He turned to walk away again, but my hand shot out on its own to grab onto his shoulder. Woah. I was wrong, Jacob wasn’t cold at all. He was hot to the touch. It almost burned.
“Holy shit!” I pulled my hand back, and he turned around frantically, my cry alerting him. “Jacob you’re burning up! I think you need to see a doctor or something.” I looked down at my hand, thankfully it wasn’t burned, only a slight red tint was left behind. Even though I was mad at him, I couldn’t help but worry. As much as I try, I’ll never be able to hate Jacob. I looked up at him, my ‘angry face’ was gone now, a look of worry taking its place. His eyes softened for a moment. His shoulders relaxed, before tensing back up again. His gaze hardened, and he huffed.
“Go.” Was all he said, before turning again. He ushered Bella to follow him, leaving his arm around her shoulder. I stomped forward again and slammed my palm onto his shoulder.
“Hey! I’m not leaving without an answer, Jacob Black. If you think you can get rid of me that easily you are stupidly mistaken.” I let out a sarcastic laugh at the end of my sentence. Nothing was funny about this but I couldn’t help myself. Jacob shook more, and his breathing sped up. He let go of Bella and looked at me.
“I am not going to tell you again [Y/N].” He emphasized each word, “Leave now, for your own good.” For my own good my ass.
“No Jacob, not until you tell me WHY.” I emphasized my words, mimicking his. He shook so hard I was afraid he would combust.
And then he did.
Within a split second, the sounds of clothes tearing filled my ears. And I felt something tear at my arm. I was flung back from the force of it, landing on the muddy ground. White hot pain shot through my entire right side. I felt something warm run down my arm, contrasting with the cold rain surrounding me. But my focus was still caught on what was in front of me. Jacob was gone, replaced with a reddish-brown wolf. It was the size of a horse. Way bigger than any normal wolf should be. My mind felt fried. This couldn’t be real. This had to be some horrible dream or some hallucination. But the pain in my arm told me that this was all too real.
The wolf, presumably still Jacob, snarled and growled for a moment before its eyes caught sight of my arm. I looked down. I could barely see anything past the amount of red. It was my blood. The flesh was torn, ripped almost to shreds. Exposing the pink mussel beneath. I caught a small bit of white. Bone. My breath was rapid. The air entering my lungs burned, it felt like they were trying to rip open. I shook. It took everything not to start screaming. I was in shock. This couldn’t be real.
I looked back up at the Jacob-wolf. His ears flew back, and he shook and backed away slightly. His brown eyes, eyes I knew too well, flickered between my face, and my arm. His tail tucked between his legs, and he ran. With incredible speed, he ran into the forest. My ears rang.
All I could hear was the pounding of the rain and yelling. I heard yelling from all sides. A woman’s voice. And a few different male voices. I heard something thump on the ground across from me. But as my vision blurred, I was unable to make out what it was. Or, who it was. I felt something pull me from the mud. Two large hands grabbed me and held me tight. I was pulled into someone's arms, and I felt us move. The heat was almost unbearable. It was suffocating. I wanted to pull away. To be left on the ground. But I couldn’t pull together the strength to do anything. I felt oblivious to the world around me. Everything was blurry, and moving both too fast, and too slow all at once. I could make out only some of the words I heard around me. Most were panicking. But over all of that, I heard a calm voice yelling orders. I heard more clothes ripping, and two more giant figures ran into the woods. After Jacob.
I heard that same voice from above me, it was calm and reassuring this time.
“Everything is going to be okay [Y/N], we're gonna get you some help” It was distinctly Sam. I knew that tone. It was paternal, it was gentle. But it felt so firm, so firm that I believed every word of it. I let myself relax. Black spots entered my vision, everything was blurry again, and then there was nothing.
꧂☾✮☽꧁
The faint sound of beeping woke me, the shrill noise scraping against my ear canal.
I groaned. My everything hurt. I squeezed my eyes further shut, trying to block out the bright light that threatened to burn my retinas.
My opened my eyes reluctantly as I heard footsteps come through the door. Sam’s large figure came through the doorway. He looked calm, but his brow was slightly furrowed. He opened his mouth to speak, before shutting it again. He looked down for a moment, almost like he was having a conversation I couldn’t hear. Sam inhaled deeply, before stepping towards me. His heavy footsteps resonated through the nearly silent room. The only other sounds were the beeping of the machines next to me. He stepped cautiously towards me, before sitting down in the chair next to my bed. I looked at him anxiously. I knew what was coming, but I didn’t know how. There was no way I could explain what I had seen without sounding insane, “Why yes doctor, my best friend turned into a wolf and mauled my arm. No biggie though.” I bit the inside of my cheek nervously, but Sam gave me a knowing look that calmed me slightly. His look told me he could understand the silent words I was trying to speak.
“How are you feeling?” Sam’s commanding voice vibrated off the walls. I didn’t know how to answer, I assumed he was asking about my arm.
“Fine, the doctors gave me a bunch of meds to make it hurt less so I’m mostly just numb now-”
Sam raised his hand to stop me.
“No, no. How are you feeling.” He emphasized the word. He didn’t mean my arm. It was clear that he wasn’t going to try and cover up what I had seen. I knew there wasn’t much I could say to him. If anyone were to overhear me talking about my friend turning into a giant wolf and scratching my arm, they’d ship me off to the psych ward without a second thought. I bit the inside of my cheek. For a moment, I refused to meet Sam’s gaze. His eyes were intense—they always were.
I tried to think of an answer for him. But I just couldn’t put what I wanted to say into words. He seemed to understand my frustration, and he sighed.
“Look kid, I know that this is going to be hard to understand, but it's time you know the truth.”
I perked up at this. Finally, they were going to tell me what was going on. It only took a traumatizing and unexplainable experience, and my arm getting fucked up to make it happen. Worth it.
We sat there for what felt like hours, as he explained to me the deep, and extensive past of the Quileute tribe's history. How they could turn into wolves, and it was their duty to protect humans from vampires. He also told me about where Bella fit into all of this. The Cullen boy she was dating was part of a family of vampires. And, by proxy, she was now involved with the pack too. But everyone in the pack was sworn to secrecy. And that's why they couldn't tell me. Sam being the alpha made his word law. So they had no choice.
I felt guilt bubbling inside my chest, I was so mad at Jacob and the others for not telling me. But they couldn't whether they liked it or not. It felt like someone was grabbing at my heart and squeezing it. I felt so selfish, so arrogant. I demanded that they tell me everything, and then got myself hurt. I felt so bad.
Sam gave me a sympathetic look, it was as if he understood without me having to speak a word.
“It’s not your fault. Besides, we would have had to tell you anyway.” I looked up at that. But he paused.
“Why?” I asked. It was hard to find the words I wanted to say. I felt like I had so many questions, but forming them together in a coherent manner was impossible. These drugs were fucking with my head. I noticed that the lights were a bit fuzzy now.
Sam looked away and contemplated for a moment. But when he looked back, it was obvious he wasn't going to explain himself. Why does everyone have to be so cryptic all the time?
“I think Jacob should tell you himself,” Sam spoke with finality. There was no wiggle room to try and pry anything out of him.
I sighed. But I didn't try to push any further. I was exhausted. Taking in so much information was hard, especially while I was barely awake. Sam smiled at me and stood. He towered over my bed, making the giant machines look like children's toys. This explains why the Quileute men are all so big.
“I'd better let you rest kid, just come to the reservation whenever you're ready.” He smiled and made his way out.
I sunk back into the firm hospital bed. I ran through everything in my head again. Vampires? Werewolves? What other ghouls should I be worried about? Will I run into a troll the next time I cross a bridge?
I couldn’t pull together the energy to really care at the moment, the only thing I cared about was going back to sleep. I glanced down at my bandaged arm, moving it slightly, and wincing. I sighed, and relaxed my whole body. I tried my best to ignore the beeping, and clamped my eyes shut. I shifted slightly, and felt a jolt go through my entire right side. I grumbled and settled back down, being more weary of my arm this time. I rolled my eyes, this was going to be a long recovery.
꧂☾✮☽꧁
It took a week before they let me out of the hospital. But the stitches in my arm would take way longer to come out. And I wouldn't even be fully healed for a few months.
They gave me fresh clothes since mine were basically ruined. I had to wear a shirt that was way too big for me, and shorts that went down to my calves. My socks were a bright yellow, and the worst texture I’ve ever felt, with grips on the bottoms. This sucked. Stupid Jacob. Stupid wolves. Stupid me.
My mother helped me to the car, but I nudged her away slightly. My arm was hurt not my legs, I could still walk on my own. I half-expected her to try and carry me to the car.
I wasn't allowed to drive while my arm healed, obviously. But at least I got time off of school, and off work. At least one good thing could come out of this mess.
But having so much time on my hands gave me too much time to think. And of course, my mind went to every bad scenario that could happen. I didn’t know how I was going to be able to face Bella. She had seen everything. But I couldn’t really find it within myself to hate her any less. Hate feels like a strong word, but I can’t think of any other word to describe the way I feel about her. It felt like she had ripped my best friend away from me, and left a gaping, burning hole behind. But was it entirely her fault? He chose to leave me, for her. But at the same time, she didn’t make any move to stop him. I sighed. Obsessing over it wouldn’t change anything. My mom glanced at me from the driver's seat. I could see her reflection through the window, as I stared at the beautiful scenery. The rain cast a thick fog across the forest, giving a gray tint to the world around it. My mom's eyes scanned my face, before quickly bouncing back to the road.
“What’s wrong honey?”
I didn’t know how to answer that. So many things were wrong. Jake was gone, my arm is fucked, and I’m way behind on my homework. What was I supposed to tell her?
I sighed, “I just… I just miss Jake.” That felt right. It was the truth, but not in its entirety.
She grimaced, “I know sweetie, but… when people get older, they tend to drift apart. Maybe it’s just time to let Jacob go. Maybe make some new friends?” She always got over things quicker than I did.
“No. He’s my best friend. I can’t lose him.” But what would I do if I did? It was entirely possible now. He had his new wolf friends and… Bella. A shiver of anger rushed through me at the thought of her.
“I know it’s hard but-”
“No! I-” I cleared my throat. I didn’t mean to yell at her. “No, I- I won’t lose him.”
She didn’t respond, she continued to stare at the road ahead. The large pine trees cast a thick canopy above us, rainwater pouring through the gaps in the branches. I sighed and tried to relax. All this stress was bad for my health. I didn’t need to have a full breakdown and end up back in the hospital.
The pine trees gave way to a small path on the side of the road. I caught a glimpse of brown fur vanishing into the foliage. I gasped lightly, which alerted my mother.
“What’s wrong? Did you hurt your arm? You’ve got to be careful with those stitches in! And how did you even-” I cut her off before she could start ranting.
“No, no everything’s fine I just thought I saw something in the forest. Like a bear or something.”
Smooth [Y/N].
She looked hesitant, I couldn’t tell if she believed me, but I prayed she wouldn’t push me. I guess lady luck finally decided to cut me a break because my mom sighed and focused on the road again. I wanted to yell for her to stop the car. I wanted to jump out and chase after him. I didn’t care if I was injured, or if I could get lost in the forest. I wanted nothing more than to just at least talk to him. But after… the incident… would he even want to see me? I held back a sob.
As soon as we pulled into the driveway, I shoved myself out of the car. I needed to be alone for a bit. My mom waited a bit to get out, trailing behind me a few steps. I stood on the porch, waiting for her to unlock the door.
Memories flashed at me in waves. Pieces from my childhood, when Jacob and I would play in the grass, or draw in the driveway with our chalk. When Jacob would pull in with that loud ass truck after school to complain about all the homework he had. And when he struck the final nail into the coffin that was now our relationship. I cringed. Everything would remind me of him now. Ghosts of my past would haunt the hallway. Phantoms of what I had lost. My mother didn’t bother to hide her concern. I’m sure I looked like a mess right now. My hair was unkempt, my eyes dark and sunken in, and my skin drained of its warmth. I felt like a shell of my former self. A ghost walking amongst the living, trying to blend in. I sniffled and shook it off. I didn’t need to scream my anguish to the world. As far as they were concerned, everything was fine and dandy. I let myself in as soon as the door opened, and made a bee-line for my bedroom. I ignored the memories, and my mother when I was asked what I wanted for dinner. I let my legs give out and fell onto my bed. Just inches away from crushing my arm. I sighed, and ran my good hand over my face, trying to wipe the stress away.
I had no idea how long I lay there. Staring at the ceiling, without even bothering to make shapes in it this time. My phone rang, and my computer pinged. But I made no move to check either. Nothing went through my mind. It felt like time was moving at breakneck speed, and I was stuck. Unmoving. I was catatonic. I felt myself going through my nightly routine, showering, brushing my teeth, and taming my hair. But none of it registered. Like an automated machine. I was on autopilot. When I lay back down, I hoped to just pass out immediately. I should be exhausted. And I should be happy to be able to sleep in something other than a hospital bed. But I felt nothing. Something was missing and I knew it.
But minute after minute of laying there, I felt myself start to drift off. Maybe when I woke up, everything would have fixed itself.
꧂☾✮☽꧁
I was running. Branches and bushes whipped around me, scratching at my arms and face. They caught onto my clothes as if they were trying to slow me down. But my feet carried me through the thick forest. I heard howling, and the sound of something running. But they didn’t stop me. I had to keep going. But what was I running towards? I didn’t stop to think, I kept moving. But I was quickly halted, as a huge, black wolf appeared from the trees in front of me. I stopped as fast as possible, losing my footing and sending myself onto the hard ground. I scrambled back to my feet quickly, without taking my eyes off the wolf. It was as big as Jacob was when he turned into a wolf. More wolves emerged from the forest surrounding me. I could see now that I was in a small clearing, only a few feet big. I turned around, ready to make a run for it. But as I did, I came face to face with a brown wolf. This one was closer than the others. And its eyes bore into mine, nothing was threatening about this wolf. It took a tentative step towards me, and I stepped back. It bowed its head and continued to approach me. But before I could move, its head snapped back up. It growled and snarled. The wolf took a step back. It wasn’t looking at me anymore, but something behind me. I didn’t have time to look before the wolf pounced. Jumping high above me. I screamed and ducked. And then, I was in my room.
I sat up in my bed, panting and sweating. My heart was beating so fast, I feared it would fly out of my mouth. I tried to slow my breathing, I wasn’t in the forest anymore. I was home. I was safe. It was a dream. A really weird dream. I fell back into my bed.
It was clear to me now that the brown wolf in my dream was Jacob. The reddish-brown fur, and the deep brown eyes I had known my whole life. But what did it mean? What was behind me? Why did he attack? Maybe it was just a weird dream, maybe it had no meaning. I assumed that the first wolf was Sam, it seemed a tad bit bigger than the others, and it just felt like it commanded authority. I sighed and rubbed my eyes. I rolled over to my bedside table and grabbed at my phone, eventually, my hand made contact, and I turned it towards my face. I recoiled from the intensity of the phone's light, my eyes having been adjusted to the dark. I squinted, 2:45 a.m. Great. It’s not like I was going to school in the morning, not while I was healing. So I could just go back to sleep. But what if I had another weird dream? I could only handle so much weirdness at a time.
The door to my room slammed open, and I flinched at the sudden sound. My mother stood in the doorway, still clad in her nightclothes. She looked frantic, and her eyes studied me.
“What happened?! I heard you scream!” My mother yelled, breathless. I guess when I screamed in my nightmare, I must have actually screamed. That was kind of embarrassing.
“Oh sorry. I had a nightmare.” I looked at my hands, they were shaking still. My mother sighed a breath of relief, but when she looked back at me, she was concerned.
“Honey, what’s wrong? You still won't tell me why you were in the hospital, and now you’re having night terrors? Why can’t you just tell me?” Her voice started to waver, I knew I was hurting her by not telling her.
It pained her to see me like this, but since she didn’t even know what was wrong, she was unable to help me. I felt so bad. But I knew I couldn’t tell her, Sam had sworn me to secrecy, and I wouldn’t betray his trust. Or the pack.
I didn’t really know the boys too well, of course, I knew Embry and Quil, as they were Jacob's other best friends—I didn’t know if I was even considered his best friend anymore, it felt weird to call myself that. After… everything. So of course I knew them well enough. But after the whole shift, and then Bella's situation. We grew apart.
I blinked, snapping myself back to the present. I think I just made mom more concerned.
“It was a dog. I saw some stray dog and I was gonna give it some food, but it attacked me.” I lied, I had to make it up on the spot. She didn’t look convinced, but I’m sure I looked rough enough for her to leave it be. She sighed, and gently grabbed the door handle, contrasting to how she had slammed it just a few minutes before. She glanced at me, before shaking her head and leaving. I sighed, relaxing my shoulders and flopping onto my bed. I thought back to the pack. So many of them were so young, too young to be fighting vampires. I thought back to Embry and Quil. Quil still hadn’t shifted, but Sam told me that they knew he would soon. I thought about how much Embry had changed. I didn’t even really talk to him anymore, but any time I saw him he just seemed different. I glanced at my phone. I probably still had his number somewhere. Maybe I should call? I still had plenty more questions about the pack. Why did they cut their hair off? Why did they go through a growth spurt that drastic? Why was Jacob so mean now? I held my phone in my hand and hovered over the call button.
“Hello?” Embry’s distinct voice echoed through the silent room. I almost forgot what I was going to say, he was still so different, but he sounded the same as he did before shifting. Into a werewolf. The word felt wrong. Like it wasn’t the right way to describe them.
“Uh hey, Embry. I’m sorry did I wake you up?” I tried not to stutter over my words. I had completely forgotten what time it was. I felt bad for waking him.
“Oh hey [Y/N], no it’s fine I wasn’t asleep yet.” Embry’s voice picked up in volume. The tired tone from his voice had vanished, leaving the excited boy I was familiar with.
“I uh, just wanted to ask you a few questions.” It wasn’t like that’s the only reason I called, but it must have sounded like it. Because Embry sounded upset like he audibly deflated.
“Oh, yeah. Of course, uh go ahead.” His enthusiasm from before was lost.
“No! No! I wanted to talk to you too, I didn’t just call for that. It’s just that since I know about you guys now, I can really talk to you again.” I reassured him.
I could hear him perk up at that. “Oh! Of course! Well uh, what’d you wanna know?”
We talked for a long time, and he told me a lot more about the Quiluete boys. How their hair translated to how long their fur was, which seemed stupid to me. That their bodies had to rapidly grow to accommodate their new wolf abilities. But when I got to my third question, Embry stopped. He didn’t answer when I called his name. But in a few seconds, he shook out of it.
“Oh uh, well, Jake’s been going through a lot more hormones than the rest of us, and he… He uhm…” He stuttered over his words, it was painfully obvious that there was something he wanted to tell me. But something was stopping him. I’m getting pretty sick of people being all cryptic and keeping shit from me. “He’s just, well… I don’t think I should be the one to tell you.” I was quickly reminded of my conversation with Sam in the hospital.
“So who should I ask?” I was getting frustrated at this point, but I didn’t let it show through my tone. After all, it wasn’t Embry that I was upset with.
“I think you know the answer to that [Y/N].” Embry finished. Before I could say anything in retaliation, he said a quick goodbye and hung up the phone. I glared at my phone as it flashed CALL ENDED across the screen. I resisted the urge to chuck my phone across the room in anger. Breaking your phone is counter-productive [Y/N]. I went back to my contacts, gazing at one familiar number. I shouldn’t call him so late.
Waiting overnight and thinking about what to say is probably the smart decision. But I didn't doubt that he would ignore my call anyways. At this point he probably had me blocked. I didn’t know if I should be mad at him for that or not. I was calling excessively, and that was bound to get annoying at some point. I thought about going back to his house, and waiting there for him to show up. But that didn’t go too well last time. But if I was calmer this time? My thoughts trailed off. I thought about every scenario possible. I thought about every possible way he could try and dodge my advances, and I thought of ways to make sure that he couldn’t run away from me. I don’t know when I managed to fall back asleep, but sooner than I thought I had drifted away. I was ready to face my problems. Tomorrow.
꧂☾✮☽꧁
“Come on, get your lazy butt up.” My mother barged into my room, ripping the blanket off of me and shaking my shoulders. I winced from the cold air hitting my newly exposed skin and tried to pry it away from her. “Wake up, you have a visitor.” That woke me up. My thoughts raced, was it Jake? Embry? Bella…
I heard a voice from the other room, “It’s okay Ms. (L/N), I could just come back later.”
Bella.
I sighed, slumping back down into my bed. I let my entire body go limp, hoping that I could somehow mold into the mattress and avoid all of my problems. But unfortunately, reality came like a harsh slap to the face.
“No, it’s fine hun! I’ll have them up in just a minute!” My mother called back, making a promise that I really didn’t want to keep.
I groaned into the pillow. My mother grabbed my shoulders again and started to pull. After a couple of seconds of pulling and tugging, I gave up and sat up fully.
“There you go. Now get dressed, we’ll be waiting in the living room.” My mother chirped and flitted to the doorway. “And fix your hair. You look like a mess.” She threw out one last comment on my appearance, shutting the door before I could respond. I sighed, did she expect me to wake up with perfect hair?
I shook off the last of my blankets and forced myself out of bed. I stumbled a bit, letting my legs get used to the feeling of walking again. I dragged myself around my room, grabbing whatever clothes I could find. To be honest, I was tempted to go out in my pajamas, was Bella really worth the trouble of getting dressed? I contemplated it for a minute, but I knew my mother would chew me out as soon as I stepped out of the door. I got dressed sloppily, not caring if I looked presentable or not. I ran my fingers through my hair, taming it as much as I could. I tied it back, hiding most of the mess. I didn’t bother with shoes.
I carefully opened the door, trying to refrain from making too much noise. I slowly shut the door and made my way down the hall on light feet. I rounded the corner into the living room, my mother's back was turned, but I had a clear view of Bella. She didn’t look too much better than me, but it was clear she had at least tried to hide it. Her hair was tied back, but the chunks that framed her face had escaped. Her eyes were dark, with deep bags hanging underneath. Her clothes were too big for her, hanging off of her small frame. I felt big just standing next to her. I felt like if I walked by her too fast she’d crumble. Her emotional state didn’t seem much better either. A small frown permanently occupied her light pink lips. Her eyebrows perpetually furrowed. I almost felt sorry for her.
It only took a moment for her to notice my presence, she looked up and gave a half-assed smile. I formed my lips into a tight line, I could be civil. But she was on my turf. It’s free range here. I smiled a little more at that thought. I made my way to the couch where my mother was sitting and plopped myself next to her.
She pushed me away slightly, “You’re sitting too close.” She murmured.
I made a show of scooting to the other end of the couch, exaggerating my movements as much as possible. She scoffed and looked back to Bella. Her expression brightened drastically as she looked at the girl across from us. Way to make it subtle Mom.
“So what brings you here Bella?” My mother chirped, she took a sip from her mug without breaking eye contact. Bella squirmed under my mother's intense gaze, fidgeting with her fingers and the hem of her jacket.
“Oh uh, I hope it’s not too much trouble but I’d really like to talk to [Y/N] alone.” She stuttered. She avoided eye contact with me entirely. I hoped that I was intimidating her.
My mother deflated as if she was hoping that Bella was here for her. No doubt I would get a lecture later, ‘You should be more like Bella! She’s so much better than you in every way blah blah blah’ etcetera etcetera. I rolled my eyes and shifted around.
My mother straightened again and smiled at Bella. “Oh of course honey! Why don’t you two go to [Y/N]’s room?” I snapped my head toward her, my room? It felt wrong to let Bella in there. As if she was trespassing into my domain like she was tainting my sacred grounds. I huffed, and my mother shot me a deadly glare. I winced and lowered my gaze. I held back a sigh as I pushed myself off the couch, gesturing for Bella to follow me. As soon as my back was turned, I grimaced. She shuffled behind me, watching her every step. Like she was afraid she’s break something if she stepped on the wrong floorboard. I rolled my eyes, knowing damn well I was the same way.
I shoved my door open and waved my arm in front of me in a ‘ladies first’ motion. She gave an awkward smile and walked in. When she was far enough into the room I walked in after her, shutting the door behind me. Every inch of my body was screaming. Screeching for me to shove her out, to get her out of my room. My brain itched and scratched, I wanted nothing more than to scream at her to leave. I smiled, at her and gestured toward the unmade bed.
“You can sit down.” I tried not to sound upset about it. Her sitting on my bed.
She glanced at the bed and hesitated. But she didn’t sit down. She continued to stand in the middle of the room. She bit her lip and blinked too many times.
“Oh, it won't take that long.” She started, “I just… wanted to talk to you about what-” she paused, “What happened.” I knew exactly what she was talking about. And I grimaced, taking a look at my arm. I chewed the inside of my mouth, debating my response.
“Oh yeah… That.” Wow. Absolutely amazing. 10/10 conversational skills [Y/N].
It was silent. Neither of us dared to say anything. Bella opened her mouth for a moment, presumably to say something, but she closed it just as quickly. I shuffled my feet, taking notice of the fact that I wasn’t wearing any socks. Kind of weird to have my feet out right now.
“It’s fine.” I blurted. “My arm I mean, it’s healing all right.” I clarified.
“That’s good. It was uh, pretty bad…” She trailed off, grimacing as she remembered that night. I thought about it too.
I felt tingles run down my arm as my skin remembered the feeling. The feeling of being torn open, the warm blood coating my skin and clothes. Lying on the wet ground with my former friend in front of me. My stomach lurched, and I resisted the urge to double over and empty my guts on Bella’s shoes. I shook my head, shaking the thought away.
“Yeah. But I’m getting better so.” I gave an awkward confirmation, was this all she came for? She could have just called or something.
“Um, [Y/N]... I dont mean to pry but…” Oh god, here we go.
“How are things with you and Jacob.” She asked shyly, shuffling her feet and picking at her fingernails.
I knew this question was coming. I guess it was only fair she wanted to know, but something in my gut told me that it wasn’t just innocent curiosity. I sighed, thinking about my answer for a moment.
“We haven’t spoken since then.” Putting it bluntly seemed like the best idea. I didn’t know if there was a way to sugarcoat it, but I didn’t bother to try anyways. Bella tried and failed, to hide her excitement. I guessed that was the answer she was hoping for. She tried her best to hide the way her back straightened, and her eyes lit up. But as always, Bella was a shit liar.
I gave an awkward smile.
“It’s fine though, I think it’s best to just give him some time before I reach out again.” I ignored the shiver that ran down my spine. I tried to ignore the way that she deflated a little. Maybe she was hoping that I would never speak to him again. She smiled and took one last look at me. Before she politely excused herself. Hopefully to leave my house altogether. As soon as the door was closed, I breathed a sigh of relief. And let myself fall back onto my bed, being careful not to land on my arm this time. I stared at the ceiling. I find myself in this position a lot huh? Whatever. Going back to sleep sounded really good.
꧂☾✮☽꧁
I was only aware of the events that took place in the next few days secondhand. And surprisingly, I made a new friend.
As usual, the sky was covered in a thick layer of clouds, creating a blanket over the trees. And the air was moist with the promise of rain. I walked briskly, I was completely out of snacks and that would just not fly. What was I supposed to eat? Real food? Absolutely not.
The posters covering the walls of my favorite convenience store brought a smile to my face. The door opened with a loud ding, alerting my presence to the man behind the counter. A sweet old man smiled at me through bushy eyebrows. His big handlebar mustache moved up with his smile.
“Hey, Mr. Barker!” I chirped, making a beeline for the snack aisle. As expected, it was recently stocked, and colorful plastic littered the shelves, drawing me in. What I wasn’t expecting, was Leah Clearwater standing in the middle of the small space. Right in front of my favorite chips. I paused, not wanting to alert her. I didn’t feel like getting on her bad side and getting my head bitten off today. But, as if she could sense me, her head turned quickly. Her beautiful dark hair was cut short, as were her sleeves and shorts. Her russet skin bore the same tattoo Jacob had. I had heard of her shifting recently, and of her father's death. I tried not to let the wave of pity I felt show on my face. I avoided her cold gaze and pretended to check out the other snacks. I would have to wait until she’d moved.
After a few seconds, a hand made its way into my view, holding my favorite kind of chips. I followed the arm upwards until I found the face of the owner. Leah held her hand out, without making eye contact.
“Here, you like these right?” Her voice was assertive like she wasn’t asking me. She was telling me.
I’m sure I looked really confused because my silence made her turn to look at me.
“Pack mind-reading. Jacob doesn’t keep much to himself.” She explained. I grimaced.
I was trying not to think about him. She must have noticed because her lips turned up just slightly.
“He still hasn’t told you huh?” She teased, but I could hear underlying sarcasm in her tone. She sounded upset about it.
“Oh god,” I rolled my eyes, “Not you too.” I groaned.
It took me a second to realize what I had said. And I slapped my hands over my mouth. I snatched the chips out of her hand and started to speed walk out of the aisle. But, to my surprise, Leah laughed. Not like the sarcastic one before, this one sounded genuine. It was a quiet, small laugh.
“I know what you mean kid,” I’m pretty sure I’m older than her. “I felt that way before I joined the pack.” She opened her mouth to say more but stopped herself. She peeked her head around the aisle to look at the old man behind the counter, and the various other shoppers. Mr. Barker was blissfully unaware of us, too occupied with his game of solitaire. She turned back to me and grinned for a split second, it threw me off for a second.
“Do you wanna talk about this at my house?” She gestured behind her with her thumb. Her face was unreadable again.
Oh.
OH.
I felt my heartbeat speed up, just a little. A pretty girl just invited me to her house. What do I do?! I felt my brain moving at lightning speed, trying to come up with a response that didn’t make me sound like a total dork. I prayed that I wasn’t sweating.
“Uh, sure!” I beamed. Nailed it.
She gave a small—noticeably strained— smile, I was sure that she saw through me without any trouble. But to be fair, she’s very intimidating. I mean, she could tear me in half like wet paper—the same went for all of the pack to be honest— and she’d look pretty doing it. I cleared my throat and tucked the chips under my arm. Being careful not to crush them. We went to pay for our stuff quickly, I’m sure the old man could sense my internal panic because he sent me the most heartwarming smile. Stupid old man and his silly mustache. I smiled back of course, before hurrying to meet Leah at the door.
She opened the door, stepping out into the cool air. The rain must have started when I went inside, it wasn’t pouring thankfully. I watched as Leah stepped out into the cold rain with no trouble as if it didn’t even phase her.
I suppressed a gasp as I watched, the water was evaporating as soon as it touched her skin, coming off as mist.
Incredible.
I guess I hadn’t paid much attention to how warm all the members of the pack were. Thinking back on it, I’m pretty sure Jacob did the same thing in the rain. The water had evaporated from his skin as soon as it had touched him. I hadn’t processed it then, with my mind being so preoccupied, I thought I was just seeing things.
I pried my eyes away from Leah. It was rude to stare. But as soon as I did, she laughed quietly to herself, before leading the way to her house. I wasn’t as sneaky as I thought.
The walk to her house was quiet, with nothing but the rain and the sound of cars filling the air. It was hard for me to tell if the silence was awkward or not. I couldn’t see her expression, as she was a few paces in front of me. Damn, she walked fast. She didn’t say anything for the duration of the walk, but thankfully it was short. We made our way up to the front door, she unlocked it quickly. It took a harsh shove for the door to open, it creaked loudly in protest. Leah groaned and held the door open for me. Waving her arm as a gesture for me to go in.
I was getting a lot of deja-vu from when Bella came over. I’m pretty sure I did the same thing. And just like Bella, I sheepishly made my way into the home. Taking in as much as I could, I watched my every step. Leah walked past me, and I followed her instinctively.
She led me to the living room, I repressed a sigh of relief. I didn’t know if I was ready to go into her room. That felt a little too personal. She gestured for me to take a spot on the couch next to her. I carefully sat down, feeling the couch creak a bit. She sighed, before turning to make eye contact with me. I resisted the urge to shy away from her intense gaze.
“So, Jake still hasn’t told you huh?” Leah started, “I guess it makes sense since he’s still got that obsession with the leech-lover.” Her tone was malicious, she didn’t try to hide her disdain for Jacob, and whoever the “leech-lover” was.
“Leech-lover?” I questioned, why would someone like leeches?
She paused and looked back at me. A sense of realization crossed her features, and she grinned.
“Bella, the vampire girl.” She explained. I nodded my head, humming in affirmation. I had almost forgotten about the fact that vampires existed too. And that Bella used to date one.
Wait. Vampires. Does that? Mean what I think?
“Wait, the Cullens were vampires. Did they… eat people?” My voice wavered at the thought, were they responsible for the unexplainable deaths in the area? How many people of Forks had they eaten?
Leah noticed my concern and shook her head.
“No, the Cullens were… vegetarians. They ate animals instead.” She said that like she didn’t believe it, as if it were blasphemy.
“Oh. Okay, that’s a relief.” I sighed, “So there aren’t vampires running ramped through the streets anymore?” I giggled. Leah’s eyes darted away from mine. Oh god.
“Well, not the streets.” She sounded very reluctant to say that. I felt the color drain from my face, my eyes widened, and my breath hitched. There were still vampires? That wasn't the Cullens. They weren’t vegetarian. Leah saw my face and quickly retracted her statement. “No! No! It’s just one and we’ve got her under control.”
“Under control? So what you’ve got her like locked in your basement or something?” I barked out a strained laugh, trying to deflect my anxiety with humor.
“No,” she laughed, before fixing her face to look stoic again. “We’ve managed to chase her off the border, but we can’t figure out what she wants.” So she wasn’t just trying to kill everyone in sight? Good. Great. Cool.
She inhaled and shook her head lightly, “But that’s not what I brought you here for.” She started.
I perked up at this. Finally, I’d get some damn answers. I was confident that Leah wouldn’t be as cryptic as the others. Her blunt nature gave me a sense of security. I knew she would tell me the truth.
“So, did Sam,” she paused at his name, but I didn’t question it. She cleared her throat and continued. “Did Sam ever tell you about imprinting?” She asked.
“Imprinting? Like that thing ducks do to their moms?” What did that have to do with me? The last time I checked they weren’t ducks.
“Sort of. But it’s kind of different in our case. So, well- I… ugh” She stuttered over her words for a moment, “How do I explain this?” She sat there for a moment, gathering her thoughts. Before she inhaled and started again.
“When we imprint, it’s like, the whole world stops. As soon as you set your eyes on your imprint, the world stops rotating for anyone else. They are the only thing that matters, you would do anything, be anything for them. It’s a kind of devotion like no other. And there’s no escaping it.”
She didn’t sound too happy about it, now and then her eyes would narrow. I really wanted to see what was going on in her head.
I was starting to connect the dots in my head, so did this mean Jacob imprinted? On who.
.
.
.
Bella. Of course. Obviously, it was Bella.
I barked a laugh, “Of course.” Leah looked at me expectantly, waiting for me to continue.
“Jacob imprinted on Bella!” I could faintly hear her groan, but I was too preoccupied with my thoughts to care. “He imprinted on Bella, but he’s mad she doesn’t like him back so he ended up taking it out on me! Ugh, it all makes sense now.” The way Bella clearly didn’t want me around Jacob, the way he’d always protect her, the fact that he wouldn’t stop pining over her even though she didn’t want him. Of course, it was so blatantly obvious to me now.
Leah sighed and rubbed the bridge of her nose disappointedly. I was taken aback, was that not what happened? I glanced out the window, it was getting late. I sighed and picked up my stuff. I got up to leave but Leah stopped me.
“Hey wait, that’s not what happened.” She started, then who was it?
“Jacob didn’t imprint on Bella, he imprinted on-” She was cut off by a loud BANG.
We both whipped our heads to the door, where a young Seth Clearwater stood panting. He barged in frantically and started to shake Leah.
“Leah! We gotta go one of the Cullens is back and Bella’s gonna go to Italy and get them back and Jakes freaking out and, Oh hi [Y/N],” He stopped for a second to acknowledge my presence, but I was still trying to figure out what the hell he was talking about.
He opened his mouth to continue, but Leah held up a hand and got up from the couch.
“[Y/N], you go home. I’ll catch up with you later.” She ordered, I didn’t have time to say anything before she and Seth hurried out the back door. I jumped from the couch and watched as they ran into the forest, I could see clothes tearing, and fur sprouting. I marveled at the two new wolves, watching them in awe as they darted into the trees.
I grabbed my stuff and hurried out the front door. The rain wasn’t quite pouring, but it would be a pain to walk in. I hurried down the street, trying to avoid the puddles. They splashed violently against my shins, dampening my pants. I cursed but continued.
It took me a long longer than I liked to make it back to my house. I was regretting not just taking my car, but walking was good for me and I needed to save gas. Courtesy of my mother. I stomped to the front door, my wet shoes making small puddles on the porch. I fumbled with my keys, and hurriedly unlocked the door. The house was dark and noticeably empty. Mom’s car was gone, and all the lights were off.
I flicked on a few lights as I made my way inside, but as I set my keys down my eyes caught something.
A brown leather jacket was hanging on the coat rack, it was way too big to be my mom's. And I knew it wasn’t mine. My heart raced, my eyes widened, and my mouth fell agape. Someone was in my house.
I scanned the area around me before my eyes landed on the hallway closet.
Bat! We had a bat in there just in case, and mom called me paranoid. I opened the door as quietly as I could, grabbing the bat quickly. My cold hands wrapped around the hardwood tightly. My knuckles turned white with the death grip I had on the poor stick. I slowly made my way through the house, turning corners quickly, with the bat raised to swing.
I felt a presence behind me, I was sure whoever it was could hear my heart pounding, and my breath hitching. I felt a large hand touch my shoulder gently.
I whipped around and swung the bat with all my strength. It made a sound CRACK as it met its target.
“Hey! What was that for?” I recognized that voice. I knew that voice so well, it was the voice I was praying to hear for weeks.
“Jacob?!” My hands fumbled for the light switch, I squinted as I turned it on. But I was able to see the boy in front of me now. Lo and behold, Jacob stood in front of me, like a giant brick wall. But he didn’t look like Jacob. His eyes were darker, heavy bags hanging beneath them. His skin was de-saturated, giving him a sickly look. His hair was messy, and his clothes were raggedy. I stepped back a bit.
“Jake, what are you doing here? How did you get in my house?! Why were you just waiting with the lights off?!” This didn’t make any sense, he avoided me for weeks, and then shows up in my house all creepy? I don’t think I’ll ever be able to understand this boy. I untensed my shoulders, and sighed.
He looked away for a moment, he looked embarrassed. “You weren’t here, and I heard Leah say you were at her house so I thought I’d wait here for you. I didn’t think you’d let me in soaking wet.” Of course, Jacob knew where the spare key was. So he wouldn’t have had any trouble getting in without committing a crime. I sighed and looked him in the eyes.
The air was tense, we both just stood there for an uncomfortable amount of time. Neither of us knew what to say.
“I heard what you and Leah were talking about.” Jacob blurted. It caught me off guard before I remembered about their whole wolf telepathy. I huffed. I had so many things I wanted to say, but putting them into words was impossible. I thought of everything at once, before just meshing them all into one.
“Why?”
Maybe I shouldn’t have been so vague, but Jacob looked at me with a guilty expression. It was clear he understood, he knew exactly what I was asking without me even having to say it. I tried not to let it show, but I was trying not to cry. I thought of everything that happened the past few weeks, it felt like it had been years since I saw Jacob. Really saw him.
Within a month I had lost my best friend, fucked up my arm, had my perception of reality shattered, and now my long lost best friend broke into my house. And I still don’t know who he imprinted on.
I sighed and shook my head. “Why did you cut me off, Jacob? What did I do? Was it something I said? Or did I make you upset? Whatever I did I’m sorry-” I started to ramble, I couldn’t even look at him as I choked the words out of my mouth. I had told myself I was ready for this confrontation, but just thinking about it made my eyes swell with tears. I tried not to let my breath hitch.
Jacob looked guilty again, grimacing and looking down. When he looked back at me, he sighed. He held my face gently and wiped the tears from my eyes.
“[Y/N] I’m sorry please dont cry.” It was clear he didn’t know how to comfort me, but he was trying his best. I pushed his hands away harshly and wiped my face with my sleeves.
“I’m not crying, you’re crying.” I hid my face in my hands, trying to calm myself down. I heard him huff and take a step back. When I was ready, I made eye contact again. I didn’t care if I looked like a trainwreck. My hair was frizzy and messy from the rain, my eyes were now puffy from the tears, and I could only assume the bags under my eyes were prominent.
“Well? Are you going to answer?” I demanded, I don’t think it was wrong of me to want some damn answers.
He grimaced, and looked away. His eyebrows furrowed, scrunching together in thought. I watched the way his eyes darted around for a second, I analyzed his every move to try and figure out what would come next. I was waiting for the bad news, for some terrible fate to come crashing down on me. I was waiting for him to look me in the eye and tell me he hated me.
His gaze hardened, and his eyebrows scrunched up. The way they moved seemed harsher this time, more hostile.
“I had no other choice. I won't get you wrapped up in this.” His voice was firm, unwavering. His eyes were dark, completely unreadable. I felt them burn into my skin even as I looked away.
“It’s a little late for that Jake.” I mumbled. His huffed, and I saw his jaw tense. His upper lip curled up slightly, in a menacing snarl.
It was frightening.
I told myself I wasn’t going to be afraid of him. He didn’t hurt me on purpose, I just happened to be standing too close.
But as the boy in front of me shook again, I shook too. My heart pounded against my ribs, I pulled air into my lungs violently. My lungs burned from the force of my breaths. My eyes widened, and I took a tentative step back. I tried my best to hold a tough exterior. But it was obvious how easily Jacob saw through me.
He stopped, and blinked. His cold exterior fell for a second, showing the warm, sweet boy I knew before.
But as soon as it was dropped, he caught himself. I blinked and it was back, sending a shiver down my spine. He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, holding his breath for a few seconds.
He let out a long exhale, and opened his eyes again. His calm and cool mask was back, no doubt hiding the anger I knew he was feeling.
But he deserved to be upset, after all that transpired. I failed to see where I could have possibly been wrong. What I could have possibly done to piss him off this much.
“I came to say goodbye.” He spoke, his voice didn’t waver for a second. His eyes didn’t move from mine, his unrelenting gaze intimidated me.
“What? Wait why are you leaving?” I asked, I didn’t try to hide my emotions this time. I was baffled, he’s leaving again?
“I just… have to. I’m sorry but this is the way it has to be.” My fat fucking ass it is.
“No it’s not, Jacob stop trying to run away from your problems!” I shouted, “What did I do to you? Why are you doing this to me?” I was frantic now, raising my voice at him.
“Goodbye.” He gave a curt nod, and turned around, making his way to the front door. I tried to grab at his shoulder to stop him but it was no use. He pushed forward, completely unaffected by my feeble attempts to hold him back.
He didn’t so much as glance at me as he opened the door, it gave a loud creek in response to being ripped open so suddenly.
I watched as he walked down the front steps of my porch, into the pouring rain.
I was vividly reminded of the first time he did this to me.
The first time Jacob had ripped my heart out of my chest, crushing it beneath his big stupid feet.
I stood in silence.
Not this time. I wouldn’t chase after him this time.
#jacob black#the twilight saga#angst no comfort#jacob black x reader#bisexual panic#mommy issues#jake is being an ass#originally posted on ao3
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okay i've decided to make a more organized review on the flipside with my own personal reviews on each ending cuz ik tumblr loves the opinions of some random girl. spoilers for flipside ofc, if u care idc
the fucking slave ending: this was the one ending that i like passionately hate. because like, what?? first the story felt NOTHING like a class of 09 game, it felt like this weird episodic story with a twist end that was only there for the shock and emo factor. like i actually prefer if they had killed jecka instead of SELLING HER TO GODDAMN SLAVERY. literally this entire route is just, girls want paycheck, girls go to porn store, old school counselor gives them fuck up riddle completely occ for class of 09, girls find porn warehouse, counselor kills one girl, fbi sells the other. literally what?? that is some weird fucked up excuse of a story that was lowkey boring until the porn warehouse shit. felt like a goddamn scoobydoo episode with a poorly written edgy twist. also kelly was just boring as shit sorry kelly fans i snored. 0/10
drunk driving ending: this also felt not like a class of 09 ending but it was like slightly better bc black hair jecka was cool. i didn't know what to expect with this ending but i didn't think goddamn ARI would die. i kept forgetting about ari during this run. like yeah they make fun of her once and then bring her up again when jecka tries to get a job but like, that's it. maybe i'm remembering wrong but when another character is involved with an ending they usually include that character more. in the reup the suicide pact ending was like emily heaven. both ari endings had ari show up a bunch and have her gay awaken be like important to the story and constantly brought up. this one just, eh. it's not bad but like, eh. seeing ari's dead body was more of a jumpscare. like "ah! i forgot about her. wait why is she here again? oh right dominos." just felt off. 3/10
feet ending: okay first why feet? and why so many goddamn cut scenes with jecka stepping on people. like i get it move on. anyway so nicole's betrayal was..something. it's weird cuz it does feel like something nicole would do...to like someone she hates. the megan ending in the reup happened bc nicole was tired of megan being like a bitchy stuck up bossy bitch. but also like nicole never even liked megan. and like i get that nicole got pissed cuz jecka wouldn't let her join her feet empire but like, that's so minor. i feel like what would make more sense is nicole being like "fuck u i don't need u" and building her own feet empire, one up-ing jecka and making her lose her place, kinda like the OD ending. but nicole only doing it do jecka's dad? i mean i dunno. i get nicoles evil and whatever but also nicole likes jecka. or at least liked her enough to get the counselor off her back in the reup, liked her enough to buy tickets for the two of them to go to a concert, liked her enough to like, not tell her to fuck off and die. nicoles evil but she still LIKED jecka. for something like that i feel like nicole and jecka would have needed a much more dramatic falling out, not just, being mad for getting feet fomo. 4/10
OD ending: okay so admittedly what nicole did to jefferfy felt in character for both nicole and the game. how nicole treated jecka when she threaten her if she called the police felt in character to nicole. it was overall not that bad of an ending, but i found myself being more interested in nicoles pov than jeckas, which is upsetting bc this is literally jecka's game. nicole was the highlight of jeckas own game. ironic. 6/10
nicole suicide ending: the one ending i actually liked. this felt like an actually class of 09 ending, it gave insight to wtf jecka was going through before during and after nicoles nice girl turned suicide ending. jecka suffering just as much as nicole, almost mirroring nicole was really interesting. the scene where jecka is begging to hang out with nicole. where she tells nicole she "doesn't have to do anything," in which nicole responds back with "you don't have to date your teacher." jecka finding nicole fucking dead body. and even after nicoles death jeckas still suffering, bc she really was the only one who cared for nicole. it actually felt real and actually made sense. all the suffering jecka goes through here made sense for the plot and didn't just feel like it was making jecka suffer for the sake of suffering. it was just a very interesting take on nicoles suicide ending. not really funny, but still was an appealing story. 8/10
#class of 09 game#class of 09 flipside#review/rant/idk man#local tumblr girl talks about her opinions
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Mcl style contest outfit dump
f2p
Day at the spa
It's a pretty easy theme for f2p too, although if you don't have sparkles you probably won't win. My first thought was that daily mission robe and some underwear/swimwear. I forgot I don't have that robe at all lmfao. Plus I only have the bikini we got in basic pink, and other colors are pretty expensive as I'm trying to save up for the episode. Luckily I bought this kimono for a previous theme so I built the outfit around it. Went for maximum comfort. Thankful for the shared item hair! I didn't have a Taki that would fit in the theme so I just turned it off. For the background my only dilemma was with the room, couldn't decide between this and the summer one. I picked this because the other was more beach vibes than a spa, if that makes sense.
Got pretty low rankings with this one.
The archer and the fox
I had to look up the theme because I wasn't familiar with it. I noticed Once upon a Broken Heart pop up, but I didn't have the opportunity to read that series yet (although Caraval is one of my favourite trilogies). As I read the story description I remembered there's a similar Love & Death & Robots episode, but I couldn't imagine an outfit inspired by that. Overusing the prosthesis accessories maybe, but that doesn't really feel right. So I just stuck with a fantasy-like outfit with fox like colors (plus green lol). Thankful for the shared item hair again! The Taki was shared too, it fit the theme the best so I choose this one. The background is also shared, I left it mostly empty because I don't have natural/fantasy room items.
Got one of the best rankings so far with 54th, which surprised me because I didn't like it when I submitted. Still don't. Just a 'good enough' thought is all I have.
Crowstorm fan
Now I was satisfied with this one! Easy theme, easy to imagine. I didn't have to buy that much items, I reused a lot I purchased when piercings & tattoos theme was on. The red suitcase was too expensive for me to buy before the episode. I didn't notice this bag was red, black AND gold before I purchased so I kinda freaked out... I tried to balance it out with the eye color. Normalise mixing gold with silver idc. Taki is wearing her cute little band T-shirt, very cute, very mindful. I tried mixing different themes for the room to create a chaotic look.
I got one of the best rankings with this one as well, as 51th. I was hoping for this rating, I'm overall satisfied with the look!
Can't wait to show the other ones still in voting!
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I ramble about headcanons while reading the artbook:
Here are my notes::
So idk if peeps talk about it but timeline wise I'm going to assume brozone's last concert had to be before the bergen fully captured the trolls.
I'm mainly basing this on the art work from the artbook, as well as how it would make sense how easily the older brothers could just walk off and live their own lives. Given previously with the whole bergen town surrounding the tree, and the only actual safe way out had to be a tunnel they were digging potentially not even ready yet.
So I would assume say a month at least after they left the bergen took over. Which could also play into all of them thinking the other was dead/captured and simply couldn't risk coming back even if they wanted too.
John dory returning when he had more experience and got "floyd's" letter. But for the most part genuinely was fine on his own. Maybe wanting to at least open communications back with his family.
Clay having found his way to Viv (I REFUSE to entertain the thought that he was with them when escaping just didn't contact branch or grandma)
I don't think floyd was even CLOSE to the tree to know. I imagine he did do a solo career but everything was so big and trolls being cared about wasn't till later. Which plays into that image of him playing alone in some alley on mount rageous.
Bruce traveled and maybe sent out a letter that never got received and found himself starting a new life and having kids.
I DIDN'T KNOW BRIDGET AND KING GRISTLE WERE IN THEIR MID TO LATE 20S HUUUHHH
I thought they were at MOST early 20s. Huh. Makes me wonder about the life spans of bergen.
I like to think outside bergen long since learned they don't have to eat trolls to be happy.
I need the extra of Viv consoling Poppy. Cause I need that.
I also need poppy and branch talking about sense of being left by siblings. How branch is still upset but dammit he's just as happy to be around them and singing with them again. How poppy just found a sibling who filled that unknown/forgotten side of her and having to potentially give a family member up. How now she understands branches hesitant to be involved with John dory at the start, etc etc.
I need more solo songs from the brothers. I need those scenes where they're bonding again. (Idk if you can tell but I want a TV series for the movie like the others).
I NEED backstop of the brother's parents and just WHERE are they if we're going with the before the bergen's theory.
I think it's funny before floyd and Branch were born. That Bruce was the middle child to probably dory's older brother and Clay's younger brother shenanigans. And then Clay becomes a middle child himself but not the peace maker kind lmao.
I need to see and hear that talk the sisters have with king peppy. Cause that whole side scene where he feels guilty was NOT enough.
I have this idea that what positivity was to branch in movie 1 is what being silly is to clay. Like it's not that they hate it but being taken serious and not always that one thing is a nice breath of fresh air. And maybe Viv had been someone who was able to welcome both sides for clay.
Branch is a poet idc what anyone says. He doesn't write anything bit he has his moments.
Also Poppy being a Clay stan idc idc idc
I LOVE SEEING MORE TYPES OF TROLLS. especially interesting when they don't seem like the typical singing ones!
Mount outrageous being a place without a single adult is... I have several questions on that. Whether that stayed in the final movie or not....
Concepts of the bergens remind me of old og Shrek designs.
Floyd not just being the more emotionally mature one is nice, he's also generally intelligent and clever/witty (from the artbook). Also, his style being confirmed emo is funny to me. Like, yeah, the hair is obvious, but now it gives me the pass to draw him wearing SO many cool/interesting outfits.
Creek concepts have me feeling annoyed at the fact that yeah... I can see it.
MOVING ON-
#trolls 3#trolls band together#I have very clear favorites#no but seriously what happened to the bois parents if branch was the last kid?????#also a bestie joked about branch being floyd's twin but was a late hatching will not leave my head idk#i ADORE broppy so much#I love that branch doesnt stay overly saturated showing that while hes healing that deep depression doesnt just go away#trolls floyd#trolls branch#trolls john dory#trolls clay#trolls bruce#trolls viva#trolls king peppy
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moss might i please have some trans tim headcanons. or trans kon if you’re feeling it.
Hii blink thank you blink i always have those<3
Kon is nonbinary and transfem to me and i do have a more specific way this happens in mind which is he starts questioning his gender after already figuring out hes not straight, and this is a few years down the line post sb 2011, so hes getting comfortable living on the farm and having a group of friends there, being a part of the kent family (hes never had a family before!!) and its because of that new personal comfort and safety that he can think more about himself as a person and not just. An icon with a role.
I read his tt03 era as his big Repression Period (along with cassie) where he figures he has to be a Normal Real Boy so he ditches the 90s superboy charm for a more traditionally masculine look, which maybe works for his secret identity but isnt what he actually enjoys. So later he starts growing out his hair and tiptoes around more flashy costumes which are daunting now, because kon has a lot of hate for his younger self for being foolish and a try hard, and this all reminds him of himself back then.
Its a slow process but he will get there eventually and i think living with ma helps a lot. Being away from the public eye and with someone who wouldn't judge him for not wanting to look as masculine would do kon wonders. Also he hangs out a lot with the yj girls, and i imagine cissie would eventually she starts putting makeup on him for funsies (and bc cassie doesnt let her) which kon has many feelings about. No worries! Anita braids his hair like she did cissies so many times and kon goes haha does this mean im one of the girls now as a joke and then has many feelings about that too bc what if he Wants to be one of the girls? Uh oh
I have less of a specific timeline for tim so some scattered ones are:
It would take her a long time to make peace with being trans and to come out, bc imo tim would not be a fan of the Coming Out Process. Would hate to do it. Would only do it once its the last feasible option bc shes sick of lying (again) and being seen so wrongly by everyone. I think she just writes cassie a note or something like it would be funny.
Jack having been so obsessed with tim being his perfect masculine son would make all of this especially hard but also make certain stuff make more sense in retrospect. Its impossible to think about tim being queer in any way without thinking back on jacks behavior.
Theres a v sweet image in my head of helena braiding tims hair bc once she lets it grow out tim does not know what to do with it and helena has to do something about that (set in a future where helena knows tims identity. The cowl doesn't really show hair. But boy it must be sweaty gross in there).
While i think kon would be big into makeup and all sorts of fun clothes and shoes i dont imagine tim being That much into it, is not as much of a makeup girlie, loves a nice dress but mostly for occasions and such.
One of the reasons why itd take her so long to figure herself out is she mostly didnt get body dysphoria until she thought of the possibility of Not Being A Man and then started noticing little things that bothered her, bc tim would be very aware of which traditional standards for being a woman she is not fulfilling. Very aware of and held back by the Issue Of Bodies And How They Are Perceived, as you do.
The initial realization would probably be something sudden that she refuses to think about for a while bc tim v much lives by that post thats like i may be trans but i have a job so idc about that rn. Its in the back of her mind and she is Not examining it when there are bad guys to punch out there.
#I have to note that i dont believe in skinny kon and this goes twice as hard for transfem kon#Just bc hes not a man doesnt mean he loses all his muscle mass and body fat come on#Anyway yay thank u tb. I love thinking about trans hcs always and forever#Ask
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sending you my hcs that are varying degrees of quality but. eh. it's my media perception so i have no shame in them
1. obviously asd/autistic miles because that is the truest thing ever? i don't think it's something he discovers as an adult, more like he got diagnosed before dl-6
2. maya to me is a girl that wears leg hair with pride. i'm sorry i can't imagine her in any other way and i picture her chubbier than capcom made her just bc she deserves that powerful look
3. miles edgeworth is a quiet rebel to me. this hc started when i saw a post about how putting your hands in trousers pockets isn't proper etiquette and miles does it anyway so... i just think he does these small things to feel mischievous and like his own person, maybe he did them more in his youth. and i also think the steel samurai and watching it also feels like rebellion to him and gives him a certain thrill? idk if this makes sense honestly
4. i think i made fanart of this one before but i basically hc that the short animations we see before a case (esp the ones in aa1 revealing the culprit) are phoenix's dreams that he barely remembers but they guide him like an intuitive sense. because yk how in aa2 the animation we see is an actual nightmare of his... and he definitely has some spiritual ties there somewhere.. and in aa4 he deadass predicts the future ominously to apollo sometimes... and he goes through spirit medium training with maya bc she makes him.....it makes sense
5. pearly's aged-up design is way different in my eyes. like i'm sorry but she should rebel so much after the ways she was raised, let her have the most unfortunate haircut in the world and funky makeup and cool clothes
6. yeah that's it im not going to embarrass myself further 👍
damn, let me get my reading glasses (i don't have reading glasses)
1. miles is the final form in the evolution line of the autism creature, so agreed. although i think gregory is not around enough/too old fashion to notice it, and von karma is a dick and would purposefully avoid getting him diagnosed; i think he got diagnosed after moving out. overall a strong 9.5 out of 10
2. i can definitely see her with body hair, but idk about the body fat because she has to stand under waterfalls for days so the training probably requires a restrain from food (kinda how monks fast) but im not in opposition of her being chubbier. 7 out of 10, capcom give us more details about the training plsss
3. lets just say ive been planning to draw something related to this idea... so 10 out of 10, hes shy and unsure about it but hes still a rebel at heart.
4. i think he just smokes weed when he reads case files and we just get to trip with him (yes this chronologically doesn't make sense but idc). Brother is the plainest cringefail guy - hes the last person anyone should give magic powers to, theres like 7 billion people who'd be better off with them. this one is a 6 put of 10, im not big into magical powers.
5. i hate pearl. well more like i hate children and pearl is a child, but they failed with her so bad the design... 9 out of 10.
pearl, send me a dm and well go clothes shopping and get you a haircut so it actually looks like youve actually been affected by 7 years of no longer dealing with your bitch of a mom
6. 0 out of 10, be shameless its the internet noone knows who you are. just don't be a weirdo!
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incoherent and shit rambling on bakery abominations (my ocs) under cut
realized I never really just lore dumped here sooo... can't do too much because I actually am writing a novel (maybe vn if I get creative) abt them but so like they're silly cake people uh anatomy is basically boneless and organless but they have thicker cake layers on the inside that work as bones and they don't need organs because magic there is literally no explanation they're just like the abominations (get it) that just kinda defy all odds and exist, also they don't actually have like hair it's just frosting, their blood is also frosting, and like their teeth is sprinkles and eyes are just frosting and sprinkle stuff that kinda moves, their horns are also sprinkles (all this as in material wise idk) and like they can like die of they have no horns its like a health bar, they also have like silly kids by removing a horn and limb then attaching them then holy hell it fucking grows wtf they also all are constantly in pain due to their wings unless they dont have any or they are extremely light, and also they all look different because cakes have cool decorations, also like humanity is mainly extinct other than like a dozen ppl, anyways like the main 4 bitches are called the peace pastries and like it consists of shortcake (like the silliest main guy ever kinda mascot), zivix, litan, and lily, and like they're all really silly but also dumb but like they don't like shortcake's sister alice who is like a cultist like many of the other abominations because they all either have a god complex or believe those with a god complex really are gods so they worship them anyways alice is like a really shitty person and only values human lives and she also kills a ton of the other abominations and sews their parts onto herself as a sort of "look at me im superior to you" kind of thing so like they set off on a mission to make her sane but like he has basically no contact with her due to this so they gotta go find her by going and taking down other cults through words or force, also there's chantal who follows from a distant them out of an odd gut feeling, and litan avoids him like the plague which he doesn't get why but he has a suspicion about why so that's why he keeps following them, and like launcelot who made a contract with chantal about something that I don't wanna say just yet so like they basically own his soul but she just likes following him around and annoying him like a sibling would, and also there's loretta and spotty who are distant friends to the main silly guys so they're there sometimes... also the whole world is really surreal and freakish now and nothing really follows basic fundamental laws of the universe anymore because it's kinda breaking down, so kinda like a labyrinth from madoka magica but the whole world, also most eat eachother because they're all sweet tooths and have no sense of right or wrong also there's no technology because zivix is a bitch and somehow broke it worldwide while trying broadcast his hyperfixations cause why not it's pretty obvious idk how to write but idc I'll make my shitty story if ppl like it or not
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(Finally) doing Natlan act 3
:3 rambling incoming~
Wdym Citlali is "old"???? Is she like Faruzan? Bc no way she's a human & older than Xilonen...
I've been avoiding spoilers, but prob heard smt anyway... so I think its true that Ororon is being forced to work w/ the Fatui.
So... Xilonen knows Mavuika, and argues w/ her??? Like she's just a normal person... the way that ppl interact w/ each Archon is so interesting. Its easy to forget that they're gods sometimes...
Natlan... friends w/ the archon...
OH NO PAIMON. PAIMON SHE'S RIGHT BEHIND U!!!
Not Citlali calling out the "ancient loli" trope... as if Genshin itself doesn't do it allll the time :v like i don't mind the "just looks young" thing, but tbh still not a big fan of Nahida's design...
Ah yeah, ok that's what i thought.
Uh... Citlali is kinda... nicer than i thought. She was going to apologize for being late. Idk, she seemed rly tsundere b4.
Ahhh, its the social anxiety mistaken for arrogance.
...i still think she's rly pretty x3
In a dream huh? We have exp...
Since i'm just starting, i don't know anything about Ororon, but i have to say... His design kinda ugly. I hate the ripped jeans...
"Only in his 20s..." "kid"... ok how old is Citlali rly??? Like i'm 23 rn.
Ahhh, Hoyo is so mean ;^; why both her & Mavuika in the same patch...
Btw, my Archon quest team is Xiao, Traveler (Lumine), Kachina & Furina :3
Ahhhh... i kinda don't wanna do this rn :/ but i need to write smt on this for tomorrow. Its hard to focus. I'm tired... college is kinda kicking my ass rn.
UM. Citlali? Can we heard ur thoughts...?
No, REALLY? Paimon...
Wait a min... is the Ororon "grandma" i heard about Citlali?!?
Omg 🤦♀️
Um... maybe we should like *tell* Citlali that we can hear her thoughts...? Like this feels weird...
Um, maybe its just bc i'm late, but how long has Ororon been missing? Like how is all this evidence still here...
"You little brat!" XD i kinda love that... i guess she is kinda tsundere.
Oh, Paimon is making sense. I didn't rly think about it, but both Traveler & Paimon r very weird... we have weird stuff happen to us all the time :v
THE NIGHT KINGDOM??? Ok quest is gonna pop off now...
...i do like Ororon's eyes tho. Genshin has very pretty eyes, i like the heterochromia thing. Lol.
Betrayal???
Idc about Childe, or the House of the Heart ppl... i still don't like or trust the Fatui organization.
Ahhh i feel so bad. I love Genshin, but i'd rather be playing like AC rn...
Idk what's going on, but Ororon working w/ the Fatui isn't beating the "edgy teen" allegations...
Yeah, i fon't trust the Fatui but i think its best to just wait & find out as much as we can.
"Like the wind and the clouds, we either move as one or not at all"- that's a cool quote!
💀💀💀
NOT THE REVERSE 100 YR OLD LOLI 💀💀💀
Oh, Ororon has eye bags. Like me.
Him protecting his "granny" is what i expected... but now idk what to think.
Pink hair and blue eyes... cotton candy queen <3
Oh ok. Makes sense, we tell Paimon like everything. Would be hard to sneak off w/out her.
"Sounds innocent but is doing shady stuff behind ppls backs"...
Capitano wants to avoid "clashing" w/ is? Why, scared to lose, bitch?
The "cost" for using the gnosis... i wonder what it is?
Is he like Arlecchino? He cares about, his(?) Nation, but it puts him in conflict w/ the Archon? I mean it turned out that Furina saved the day & Arle did like nothing in the end...
XDDDD GET WRECKED, GO GRANNY!
This is actually rly upsetting... like Citlali rly believed in Ororon :( maybe he's still being mislead by Capitano? He thinks he's right, but i kinda doubt it... the Fatui keep getting what they want, but they've never been in the right. All they've done is cause problems.
His voice? I'm playing w/ Cn voice, i fon't heard anything diff... oh.
Dude he rly is a brat, & not in a fun way :/
Citlali! Violence! XD
I still don't get the "old" thing but... aw Citlali. :( wdym useless?
Girly pop drinking to forget... or maybe so she can talk about that "duty" thing of Ororon?
Lol, they've gotten better at the "meme" faces.
This is a little sad...
I'm sure what she was saying is important but... mannnn is she drunk :/
Oh... i actually feel rly sorry for Citlali :/ she seems to be having a hard time... tho i still have no idea what's going on.
Yeah, i don't think we'd be very phased by getting trauma dumped on by someone we literally just met by this point... it happens to us a lot actually.
Huh so... its not just that Citlali hates ppl. She actually seems pretty lonely & upset...
Yes PLS. Still no idea what's going on here... explain someone pls!
"His soul is incomplete" ???
Human sacrifice? Genshin??? Huh???
SACRIFICING A BABY??? wtf...
"Probably" drank too much? Ma'am...
Idk guys, i don't rly have any thoughts. Just kinda confused... big set up quest i guess.
I say, right b4 shit happens :v
I like this. Srs ppl, just be direct. I hope that Mavuika will actually explain...
I see... i think i get it, to use the gnosis she'd have to sacrifice the souls of the dead. Idk... i can see how that could feel wrong. She considers souls "just another form of life"... idk how i feel about that. I feel like i'm not quite grasping the implications here...
Ohhh ok, spoke too soon :v erasing their history & culture... the memories... that makes more sense to me, i see why this would be the last resort.
And it might not even work
Mm, i see. She's not an "ends justify the means" kinda person... maybe, unlike Capitano she's also considering what could go wrong. As she said, its not a permanent solution anyway.
Oh yeah, i was just thinking- no, tribe has nothing to do w/ vision. Citlali & Ororon r 2 diff elements... idk, i guess Kachina & Xilonen just confused me. And also bc the rep 5*s for each tribe is a diff element...
Wait, why r we talking about Capitano??? I thought Mavuika told us to keep it a secret...? Do the plan TM ppl not count?
Ok yeah. Idk. I wasn't sure where Capitano was from... cause if he's no Natlanian, why does he care so much? But Natlanians can't just leave either so...
Fatui being morally grey again... but they want it to be a secret?
Why r they sneaking around? This isn't that many Fatui... as a player. Maybe they're worried that the Fatui will try to hide what they're doing if they're caught?
U know... what does it even mean that Ororon's soul is "fragmented"? Esp since he was born like that...
Ororon's memories...
Citlali said she's done making excuses for Ororon, that he's an adult, but it still seems like she's blaming herself for him working w/ the Fatui. I can't quite see it. Idk. I don't think that Ororon is like evil but still...
Ororon talks to inanimate objects, just like me lol.
Ok i know that Genshin has powers & gods n stuff, but its still weird to hear them call things "spells". Like... Genshin is fantasy, but not quite that kind right? ...altho, just as i type this i remember that Lisa is straight up called a mage. So.
So... Ororon helped Capitano bc he wanted more info? He wasn't in cahoots until after his & Mavuika's fight.
Oh, no. Its kinda as Mavuika said... i think. Her keeping secrets is leading to doubts.
I feel like that hardly answered any questions at all...
As she should be.
Ok... ends w/ going to tell Mavuika what we learned... yeah this was def a set up quest. It was rly slow... idk maybe it was my fault, but i was rly bored & had a hard time paying attention the whole time. I've been here... for many hrs now. Like idk, maybe since 10:30 & now its about 1:30...
I don't rly have any thoughts. Capitano is weird. Its not the same as Arlecchino, he's not Natlanian so why does he care? Ororon & Citlali aren't exactly what i thought they'd be... actually, i'm surprised how little Xilonen was in here. It was almost all about Ororon & Citlali.
I have heard things... appearently it goes DOWN in act 4. So i'm kinda anxious to see what happens... but idk. My tv is raised from my couch, so my neck is hurting :(
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