#maybe even scared theyll be next
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getting pissed at people and having to resist the urge to tell them to kill themself cuz theyre just gonna say “cope” and then youre gonna actually want them to kill themself
#homohollers#what mental disorder is this#if you genuinely make fun of people and shit on people and insult and ridicule people on games i hope you die actually#scum of the earth and actual human trash#like#kill yourself#you fucking make me mad#you make me want to tear someones eyes out#you make me want to fuckinf stab the shit out of someone#strangle you with a coat hanger#stab you in the neck with scissors#watch the blood drip down my arm#watch as everyone in the rooms faces become horrified and terrified#maybe even scared theyll be next#im just mad rn dont take any of this seriously#i mean it when im mad but i dont mean it when im not#i just suddenly want to become a feared brutal serial killer when someone makes me mad#im mentally ill#is this a bpd thing or nah#bpd#????
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Fuck I just have to write a fic about Emmrich noticing Rooks hidden injuries now
#Its so sweet that his favourite color is lilac and i happened to have made her eyes purple#anyways adore this dapper man#im romancing taash next (harding is low key making me jealous but i just know theyll be good for each other when taash finally tells her)#or shit lucanis i was so close to swaying towards him but emmrich is so sweet im just scared hell turn into a lich but i wanna support him#ahh so excited to see how things go from here!#dragon age the veilguard#dragon age the veilguard spoilers#emmich romance#emmrich volkarin#emmrich romance spoilers#im playing on low graphics because thats all my poor gaming laptop can handle but i wouldnt even know and i dont care it looks so good#i liked neve but hardened her maybe ill see what happens when lucanis gets hardened instead (hehe) but poor spite...
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I am. SO being fucked over by my school 24/7 but if I take extra classes I get to graduate early..
#And not only that- i could take some college credit thingy classes apparently and im gonna do math because MAYBE#that means i wont need to take math next year? im not sure. this stuff is confusing.#they apparently lost our paperwork again and they said that im not allowed to make up my classes so im 'failing' but i also have 98s and stu#ff but ?? gpa bad but?? confused#school isnt very nice and they keep lying to me but i never trusted them in the first place because school people always lie to your face#then theyll lie further and i fucking hate them for that#but they keep on. not doing their fucking job. and im really sick of 'failing' because they lied or 'werent given' paperwork that i went and#gave them in person. paperworkmy mom emailed to them and bills and whatnot#i am. very fucking sick of this school not doing anything except punish me.#i put in so much effort and all i get is my good grades revoked and told 'oh sorry!! you missed too many days but you cant go to makeup sch#ool.. youre gonna have to figure this out!! no way we can help!!'#literally have to goad answers out of them and they refuse to talk to my mom because shes 'too aggressive' yeah no shit shes a mom#you would be mad too having to deal with this dumb fucking school!! it isnt a valid excuse to leave due to a loss in the family!! or illness#my doctors notes dont fucking count what do you mean??#you tell me all this shit im so confused bro make it make sense am i failing or not? are you even trying?? fuck this school#and then you lie in front of the school spouting bullshit shining your shoes and saying you did wrong to make yourself seem good like#WE HAVE KNOWN. THIS IS NOT NEW INFORMATION.#im scared to go back to school on monday
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I gotta. Learn how to date again ;-;
#rant#am i gonna brute force try dating apps then feel hopeless and anxious and socially Too Not Understanding Rules to get anything forward?#yeah probably then ill be real sad. :/ i watched a tedtalk today about fear of intimacy and how like u get hurt in love once#and ur brain tells u the story it was UR fault or youll have the SAME experiencr again. so u illogically either avoid finding love#because u associate it with PAIN. or u go for unavailable people (me! no one i dated ever liked me back they just dated me until they liked#someone) because unavailablr ppl wont Ever get a certain level close emotionally since theyll leave you.#and so i think partly i had unavailable partners CAUSE i was scared to be in an abusive 7 year nightmare again ToT#so i have to conciously Start saying hey it wasnt me. hey its okay to be vulnerable best reward is love#and worst i can just leave itll be okay (byt also dang i barely cry im a bit emotiomally numb#despite the self awareness). so like. i trust my very Good judgement of red flags. but i need to conciously try to#believe i may NOT be hurt next time. and maybe idk flip a coin the next petson isnt unavailable.#but. the thing is. befote i can even PRACTICE saying no to unavailable and yes to interested people?#i literally work myself into an anxious mess trying to research the norms for How To Date. How to Ask Out. Where to Meet Ppl.#i get so anxious over conglicting advice everywhere i just CANT do it all! it contradicts!! and also like#i literally havent had a single crush in 5 years or more. 10k tinder matches and no crush#who knows how many hinge matches. no crush.#i havent even felt like potentially i liked a person in years. and i yavent managed a date in like 4!#and rhe last date i lowered my standards to: anyone replying. so went on a date whete they were nice but#had nothing in common and never spoke again.#despite me trying to ask ppl out on apps and chatting on apps thru these years. 1 date. thats all that said yes and we didnt even#think each other as good fits. (also im demi so i need to like.. guess if someones compatible then date for 3-5 months to even know if ill#develop feelings so. even if ppl responf AND i ask every single person out. most arent gonna be interested in Long Term#and in Exploring Potential compatibility until i can develop feelings (or let them know by like 4 months if i couldnt) so :c#i would like love!! i like best friends!! im great at making friends!!! but dating? apparently im so dumb i feel#dumber than a 70 year old on an app at least they might know the rules and get a date and make a friend!#id also you know like to have sex again regularly reliably with a person i love byt that#may well take 500k matches. 20 dates. 3 people who maybe dated more than 3 outings. and if im lucky 1 who#really fell in love and we mutually clicked#or idk maybe itll take a million people or worse odds i am not liking these odds at all....#but making friends? why cant dating be likr that??!!! within a few months i can meet ppl who like tarot and dark fantasy and meditation and
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as big as the friend confession scene is i love this part best. laios is ofc still under the impression that kabru likes monster food and went thru this big effort to make something special for him and then kabru goes out of his way to be so warm and sweet, and frankly a bit flirtatious like i know he thinks that exit killed it
and hes kinda right bc laios cannot stop staring after him when he leaves and i cannot attribute all that to him being confused about what kabru meant by "dont forget me next time". like laios means it if he says something like "meeting you was the best part of this" those are not empty words even if hes under a false impression about kabru--i dont think its just that kabru shared his interest that has his attention either. i think its bc kabru really engaged with him. i dont think his opinion wouldve changed much if kabru said "nahhhh im good i wont eat a monster cool for you tho have fun" instead of saying he would try it
(and he really is trying the 'laugh at anything he says so he'll feel special' strat here huh.....)
and kabru despite being a stranger he helped get thru to shuro about falins resurrection
and he does it with a sensitivity and care that laios wishes he was capable of and he know it limits him as a leader
the thought laios keeps having about kabru isnt "wow he loves monsters too!" its "wow he is sooooo nice :3" which he is! at this stage he likes kabru bc he feels heard by him and kabru has qualities he knows he lacks but admires greatly and didnt make fun of him or call him weird for his interest in monsters
the way kabru acts and thinks about laios at this point feels allegorical to how people feel in new relationships. can i trust you? are you who you seem? if i tell you how ive been hurt, will you use this to hurt me or to protect me? i dont know yet, but i like you so far, so im going to show you the self that i think you'll like best. i want to impress you. i want you to trust me so maybe i can trust you
so much of dungeon meshi is about the way that we accidentally hurt our loved ones because we cant always understand them, or we dont know whats best for them when theyve been hurt in such complex ways, or because were too scared of being hurt again to tell them not to press into the bruise (see: chimera falin, falin giving up parts of her life to suit/protect marcille and laios bc she loves them, laios driving marcille deeper into the winged lions grip TWICE with his advice in the nightmares and again with the dungeon rabbits, everything chilchuck has ever done in his whole life, laios' father's everything also, and this is a labru post so ofc kabru lying about wanting to eat monsters to impress laios) i wouldnt be surprised if the allegory was intentional
anyways this part of their relationship budding into a toxic little flower theyll have to prune later is very cute to me and i really like reading it again knowing how they turn their relationship around later into one built on a mutual understanding and trust
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smth i think ppl who werent raised christian need to understand is that a) fear of death will make you do things you wouldnt otherwise do and b) being raised christian fundamentally kneecaps your ability to process death. most christians are the way that they are because if the bible isnt true, if god isnt real, then neither is heaven. if there is no heaven, then all their loved ones who have died arent actually waiting for them, there is no place theyll get to spend forever with the people they love now, there is no eternal reward for being good, there is no guarantee of any afterlife whatsoever. and as science progresses and christianity becomes harder and harder to maintain, as various claims in the bible get disproven and we learn more about how life actually came to be, that possibility that Death Might Actually Be Something They Have To Fear After All gets stronger, and so that protection of the idea must get stronger too. the bits of the bible that are too hard to defend have to be removed or papered over or talked around, the rules that dont make sense have to be explained or maintained without question, the people who dont believe must be agents of satan sent to damn their soul to hell. the way they learned to cope with death is to say it didnt happen, not really, not in a way that mattered, theyre still out there somewhere, youll see them again someday. and with that came a promise that their death wouldnt be permanent either. it all has to be true, that heart has to be maintained, because otherwise. otherwise, this is it, and we dont know what happens next. otherwise, death becomes scary again. otherwise, death is no longer the loading screen before your eternal reward. otherwise, they have to think about what might come next, how their actions affect others here and now, fully grieve the people theyve lost, grieve the eternal life of happiness and love they were promised from birth. and that is. hard. and while obviously none of this excuses the way they treat people, i do think that like. keeping that in mind during interactions with them, being aware of how high the stakes are for them, can very much effect the way you approach those conversations.
at the heart of every horrible christian with bigoted views and worse actions is a scared little kid who doesnt know where you go when you die, because the answer they were given when they first asked is turning out to be full of holes. and while you may not be able to work with the adult in front of you here and now, maybe you can at least find that little kid for a moment. maybe you can sit down with them and say yeah bud, that is pretty scary, isnt it? it's scary not knowing what's gonna happen to you. it's scary learning something you thought was true might not be. maybe you can tell the kid that theyre allowed to be scared, that being scared doesnt have to mean hurting others. and maybe the kid wont listen, maybe youll have wasted your time, who knows. but maybe not. and even if you did, youll have learned something about how to find that kid in others, so was it really a waste?
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‧₊˚ pick a pile‧₊˚✩embracing your alter ego⛓����*♰*𓌺⛓
this is a general reading & for entertainment purposes only, take what resonates and leave what doesn't. scroll through the images & choose based on your inner guidance and gut feeling. 🖤
PILE ONE 彡
🕯️energy you need to embody/ reflect on: aries, leadership, willpower, ANGER, turning points, epiphanies, destiny, fate, pallas, creativity, wisdom, venus, pleasure, love, art, money, 4th house, foundations, traditions, home, family, roots. 🔐 **note: i got a lot of libra/aries energy from this reading. if you know your birth chart maybe look at the houses that are in aries and libra. or if you have any aries/ libra placements do some more research on them 👀
your alter ego is someone that refuses to go down a dead end. if they get the slightest hint that someone isnt respecting their boundaries or treating them/ providing them with less than what they deserve they LEAVE. in order to embrace your alter ego you have to accept that you are in a state of metamorphosis 🦋 and push through to that next stage. rip that bandaid off and stop sitting there “crying over spilled milk” & your alter ego isnt having none of that. theyre the type to not let anyone seem them cry or sad (espeically the people that hurt them) and theyll if anything, dress up and fix their hair and strut like nothing happened. “I will always win in the end”
the person you are now isnt the same as who you were a couple months or even a year ago. you could have been a BIG people pleaser or scared of disappointing the people you love. the difference is now you are more sure of what you want and now your boundaries have become less shaky.
once you realize how fucking good it feels to love yourself your alter ego will bloom and you will take more risks and do all those things u were to afraid to do before. your alter ego reminds me of beyonces “sasha fierce” alter ego lol bc you will snap into it soon and it will help u get over that “stage fright”
i just heard“if you needed more time why didnt you make it?” your alter ego is someone who is bold, a risk taker, the first person to ask that question (and then break that rule), to wear the strange outfit. the first one to lean in for the kiss. your alter ego is an innovator, creative to no end (don’t worry if you aren’t inspired right now, you are the inspiration thats why you cant find it). its you. you are the muse, the canvas and the artist. your alter ego has harmonious relationships because they are very attractive, balanced, fair, fiery.
𓆩♱🤍₊˙ TIP JAR 🧸 ♡♱𓆪
PILE TWO 彡
🕯️energy you need to embody/ reflect on: compassion, dreams, confrontotation, disharmony, pleasure, love, trauma, wounds, health, routine, pets. note: i got a lot of pisces, scorpio/ pluto/ 10th house, and virgo energy from this reading. if you know your birth chart maybe look at the houses that are in these signs. or if you have any planets in these signs do some more research on them 👀
in order to embrace your alter ego you need to stop victimizing yourself, similar to pile one there is need to use past trauams as an excuse for staying the same in unhelful behaviors and self sabotaging habbits. you’re letting life happen to you and shrugging your shoulders saying “it what it is” or “I cant change the past” get UP! when you walk, walk with your head held up high. I heard “don’t let people step on you not even once or they’ll keep their foot there pressing against your neck, suffocating..” don’t be afraid to show teeth, whether its a smile or a snarl.
people have wronged you deeply, maybe in irreperable ways. thats okay if youre not the same person. i promise they didnt take anything from you. you are whole and complete on your own. what people are DEEPLY scared of is you realizing your power. I heard “what? did you think I was going to stay small and insecure forever?” people in your close relationships want you to be down bad when they are (misery loves company). in order to embrace your alter ego you need to take the wheel and take control.
your alter ego embodies boss ass energy. your alter ego is mysterious, intuitive, passionate, magnetic energy. the ultimate femme fatale. your alter ego doesn’t let any sly or snarky comment slide, doesn’t allow fake ass people in their circle (theres a vetting process to getting close to them), is deeply loyal and ambitious. your alter ego enters peoples lives and leaves them in awe and jealous and in love and also turned on lol. This is POWERFUL (and slighlty dangerous) energy but if you know how to balance well your alter ego can easily climb the ranks in whatever endeavor its interested in. your alter ego loves to be in control. they’re the ones who dress in all black or sexy clothing. they love to work out as well. they secretly love the pain and soreness later. 🔥
𓆩♱🤍₊˙ TIP JAR 🧸 ♡♱𓆪
PILE THREE 彡
🕯️energy you need to embody/ reflect on: conflict, tension, your calling, discomfort, challenge, destiny, appearance, physical body, character, first house, ninth house, long distance travel, morals, teachers, beliefs. note: i got a lot of pisces, sagittarius/ jupiter, gemini/ mercury energy from this reading. if you know your birth chart maybe look at the houses that are in these signs. or if you have any planets in these signs do some more research on them 👀
in order to embrace your alter ego you need to really work on your forms of communication (this pile gives off blocked throat chakra energy or some kind of harsh influence in your surrounding area that makes you feel like you to watch how you speak to the point where you dont speak up at all). you could have saturn in third house, squares/ oppositions to your mercury, or Capricorn or aquarius in your third house. the point is though, it has felt like when youre in groups theres so much conflict that youve spent so much time alone, that you believe you have to stay alone forever now.
youll find the people that will become like family to you but they will be of other backgrounds, religions, status, ethnicities or even in different states (possiblly entirely different countries). it makes sense considering your alter ego is philosophical, adventurous, flirty, fiesty, and very very very beautiful with a big smile and nice hips. a sight to behold to the eyes of the public. i heard “they talk shit about me to make themselves feel better” your alter ego is a heart breaker, people fall fast for there intoxicating personality and their big dreams. but in the blink of an eye theyre off to the next person or dream or adventure. i heard “ill mourn my losses on the way but im not gonna stop”
hey if you been thinking about booking that flight then maybe do it. or if you’re thinking about or make that vision board or buying those books on that occult topic you’ve bern interested in. your alter ego is determined, they wanna see the world and drink up all its beauty, delicacies, sights, rainbows, books, temples, slow and then fast kisses in the middle of sweaty and neon night clubs. they wanna feel it all. i just heard “im going to free my mind. just wanna remember all the good things” 💗
𓆩♱🤍₊˙ TIP JAR 🧸 ♡♱𓆪
PILE FOUR 彡
🕯️energy you need to embody/ reflect on: responsibilities, routines, self-worth, savings, sticking to your budget, investing, new moon energy (making wishes), shadow side, marriage, secret enemies, love, health, false notions of purity. note: i got a lot of pisces, libra/venus/ 7th house, virgo/ 6th house energy from this reading. if you know your birth chart maybe look at the houses that are in these signs. or if you have any planets in these signs do some more research on them 👀
pile four, I see you giving and giving and giving to others. whether it’s letting people borrow money or listening to them endlessly vent or being there for people that necessarily aren’t always there for you. I see you putting other people first and not necessarily the people please in the way pile one does. Because pile one does it but secretly doesn’t wanna do it. But you do it and think you have to do it and feel like it’s your responsibility to make sure that other people are okay. i just heard “im your hero, you see me as your angel” is there someone deeply depending on you right now? im sorry but they’re not your child. nurture yourself and your inner world. give yourself more credit now..
oopp, the song i was playing just said “i could use a vacation but i gotta take care of my family,… im so damn tired from working overtime” PLEASE😭 this pile is so sweet/ wholesoom🥺🥺🥺🥺 its really calling on you to be selfish. and unapologetically so. you don’t have to share everything. your feelings, your hobbies, your resources or time or money. your alter ego slams the door shut IN THE FACE OF ENERGY VAMPIRES.
your alter ego reminds me of a mermaid or something. just very MYSTICAL and elegant energy. your alter ego is well loved and seen as very wise but they stand tall like a queen/ king. people want to worship your alter ego. i heard “you have beautiful eyes” a lot of people cherish their advice and could do well in doing spiritual readings as well. your alter ego is kind but not nice. they see right through superficial bullshit. They dont care if they have to force you to behave, you will not take from them without asking. I just heard “I respect your opinion, but please don’t force it on me. accept we see things differently.”
𓆩♱🤍₊˙ TIP JAR 🧸 ♡♱𓆪
© plutonianeris 🕷
#pac#pick a deck#pick a photo#pick a picture#pick a pile#astro tarot#astrology#intuitive reading#pick a pile reading#pick an image reading#astro tarot reading#plutonianeris#healing tarot#self help tarot#alter ego tarot#pac tarot#pick a card reading#zodiac#pick a card#pick an image#tarot spread#tarot pac
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sorry dhmis fandom i havent been around to ramble as much because i was off getting mad bitches and touching grass. but im back and ready to get really sappy and emotional and compare my life to old man yaoi. so anyway. do you ever think about how lonely the main three are despite being right next to each other. how they really do love each other but they dont trust each other nor do they know how to properly treat each other. like they try their best but their best isnt enough. they try to teach themselves how to love but its made them selfish. growing up in shitass nowhere alabama, traumatized as fuck, this is how friendships have sometimes felt for me. nothing is serious, everything is ignored, everything is funny no matter what. our words may sting each other but we stay silent and fake a laugh. and then those friendships would fade into weird gay bromances. and yeah those middleschool ass homo-friendships might be shitty but theres something so nice about the moments in the dark, when you realize you like looking at each other. when you realize that maybe you should be kinder. maybe you should trust them more. maybe if you hold their hand long enough and close your eyes tight enough you wont have to go back to pretending to be cruel. and it might notve worked back in middle school, we may have crashed and burned, but i still look back fondly on those moments in the dark. and now that im older, and ive learned to be kinder, and ive met others whove learned the same, im finally with someone that likes looking at me even when the lights are on. im surrounded by people whove lived and learned. like sonic adventure two am i right guys. but seriously. ive said this before and ill say it again. dont hug me im scared makes my fucked up life feel represented, but it also gives me hope. those gayass puppets may forever be trapped in toxic yaoi, but i am not, we as real people are not. theyll learn how to love and forget in an hour, their efforts are hopeless, but ours are not. GO OUT AND KISS YOUR HOMIES TODAY. BE KIND. LOVE YOURSELF AND LOVE EACH OTHER. HOLD THEIR HAND IN THE DARK AND IN THE LIGHT. THE PEOPLE YOU LOVE DESERVE MORE THAN A MINUTE OF AFFECTION. YOU DESERVE MORE THAN A MINUTE OF AFFECTION. WE ARE HUMAN AND WEVE MADE MISTAKES, AND WELL MAKE THEM AGAIN, BUT WE CAN CHANGE, WE CAN GROW, THEIR LIFE WILL NEVER CHANGE BUT OURS WILL. THEY WILL NEVER DIE BUT WE WILL. YOU ARE NOT A BAD PERSON FOR THE MISTAKES YOUVE MADE, BUT YOU SHOULD FIX THEM WHILE YOU CAN, BETTER YOURSELF WHILE YOU CAN. DONT SPEND YOUR LIFE DRIFTING AND WAITING FOR A FRIDGE SCENE TO HAPPEN. MAKE EVERY DAY YOUR FRIDGE SCENE. AMEN
#this might be about my beautiful partner and how theyve changed my life so what#i like looking at them#dhmis#dont hug me im scared#dhmis tv show#dhmis tv series#fluffybird#dhmis analysis#dhmis trio#dhmis fandom
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bpd culture is splitting on your fp and after that being like “thatll show them, maybe theyll learn for next time” but the moment they start questioning why you even stay with them you burst into tears and sobs telling them how much you love them because you really DO love them youre just scared to get hurt again
.
#borderline culture is#borderline personality disorder#bpd#bpd culture is#bpd culture#bpd safe#actually borderline#actually bpd#bpd fp#fp#fp bpd
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OMG THOSE EPS--- I HAVE SO MANY EMOTIONS I CANT---
HAZBIN HOTEL EP 7-8 SPOILERS WARNING‼️
Okay so Charlie actually didnt forget Vaggie for lying for that long, which is understandable, really.
So Charlie ACTUALLY MADE A DEAL WITH ALASTOR NO MATTER HOW MUCH TIMES VAGGIE TOLD HER NOT TO.
Rosie is really sweet lady, but im not really vibing her voice
But i really DO vibe the cannibals. They all have this cool aesthetic n i really love that!
Carmillas n Vaggies song was also really good!
Also when Vaggies wings SUDDENLY N OUT OF NOWHERE came out i was like: OKAAAAAYY... IM NOT SURE WHY BUT GO OFF IG!!
ALSO OMG THIS SONG WHERE CHARLIE IS TRYING TO BRING CANNIBALS ON HER SIDE WAS SO COOL, ESPECIALLY THE END PART THAT WAS IN DA TRAILER, ITS SO COOL JSHSBSJSJ
Also they so cute n silly, I love em
AND AWWW THEY ALL GOT ALONG N BECOME FRIENDS 😭😭😭😭 I JUST KNOW WHAT WILL HAPPEN IN THE NEXT EP N THIS MAKES IT LOOK SO SAD 😭😭😭😭😭😭
the 8th ep...
OMG VOX IS BACK HIIIIIII!!!!!!! I MISSED U SO MUCHHH
AWWW NIFTY DID THIS LIL THINGY FOR ALASTOR ITS SO CUTE
Also can we talk bout how Charlie n Vaggie FINALLY KISSED??? I CANT IMMA JUST----
Im really so glad that Alastor is actually protecting the hotel and all people in it, hes probably doing it just because he have no choice, but i really hope that he do care about Charlie n everyone else. Also their fighting outfits is really cool. AND THE ANIMATIONS WHEN HE TOOK HIS DEMON FORM WAS SOOOO COOL, IT WAS LIKE IN 3D (maybe it actually was in 3d idk-)
Okay yknow.. When Adam blasted (idk if thats a correct word for that) at Alastor n broke his michrophone and Als voice became so clear, like, without any radio effects, I actually thought that he lost all his abilities, cuz Adam is clearly stronger than Al, and i got so scared becuz that would mean that he wont be able to protect the hotel anymore and maybe even die... But it didnt happen so its all good!!
Also Vox watching this whole fight being so exited for Als death was kinda funny to watch.
Okay.... I dont wanna cry again so can i not talk about sir Pentious? Thank you. All i gotta say, I really happy he managed to confess his feelings to Cherri before he... yknow...
Also Charlie FINALLY TOOK HER FULL DEMON FORM. N I ACTUALLY WAS NOT EXPECTIN RAZZLE N DAZZLE TO BE A GIANT DRAGONS THAT WAS SO COOL without thinking that one of them died...
Also i immediatly thought that sparing Lute was a mistake. Guess what? IT WAS!! :DDDDDD
ALSO I THROUGH THIS WHOLE FIGHT WAS REALLY HOPING THAT LUCI WILL COME OUT N SLAUGHT ALL THOSE BITHES FOR GOOD. N HE DID!!! I LITERALLY, ALL IN TEARS AFTER SR PENTIOUS' DEATH, WAS SO HAPPY I WAS LIKE: FUCKING FUCK YESSS!!! KILL THOSE MOTHERFUCKERS!!! '!!'! '! ₽!! 3!&!& ALSO I ADORE THE FACT THAT EVEN IN A FIGHT HES SUCH A SILLY CUTIE PATOOTIE.
And we saw his demon form n its really cool!
ALSO I WAS SO ANGRY WHEN CHARLIE MADE LUCI SPARE ADAM LIKE-- PLS LUCI KILL HIM N LUTE, THEY CLEARLY DONT DESERVE TO LIVE. Also we saw Adams real face which is kinda cool.
ADN MY GIRL NIFFTY DID ALL THE JOB HERSELF, LIKE GOOD JOB GURL! I KHEW WE CAN COUNT ON U.
Okay, at 1st ep i was not sure bout Katies new voice, cuz it clearly was hearable that its a mans voice, but in this ep its actually working! I absolutely loved this: «Nobody gives a shit about you, Tom!» xd
Ok so.... Ill try not to scream... khem- THEYRE CANNON!!!! THEYRE!!! FUCKING!!! CANNON!!!!! IM SO HAPPY U CANT EVEN UNDERSTAND!!!!!!! I FUCKING KHEW THAT THEYLL BE CANNON, IM A FUCKING GENIUS IDC. IK THERE WILL BE SOME PPL THAT WILL BE LIKE: "nOoO tHeY rE nOt cAnNoN iTs pRoBaBlY mIsAnDerStOoDinG....." YOU KNOW WHAT? FUCK YOU. THEY ARE CANNON, I DONT GIVE A SHIT!!!! FUCK U IF U THINK THEYRE NOT TOGETHER
JUST LOOK AT THEM THEYRE SO CUTE AAAAAA
Also this last part of the song with Alastor was so strange. Yk english is not my first language so i probably missed alot what he said in that, but i clearly remember that he said something bout his wings n i was like WHAAAAT????? I know i probably just heard it wrong, cuz HE JUST CANT BE AN ANGEL RIGHT?... RIGHT??? He also said smt bout his freedom, so yeah, I think the wings was just a metaphor. But overall he looked really scared for some reason, which is actually so weird. Its so weird to see Alastor actually being scared..
ALSO WE FINALLY SAW LILITH, but sadly didnt hear her voice. N what is weird, it looked like she was on sorta vacathion, and Lute talked with her bout Adam being Killed AND THATS SO WEIRD AHHH I CANT WAIT TO FIND OUT WHAT IS HER ROLE IN ALL HERE!!
ALSO CAN WE TALK ABOUT THAT CHARLIE WAS RIGHT?? SINNERS CAN BE REDEEMED. CUZ PENTIOUS APPEARED IN HEAVEN AFTER HIS DEATH (n im really-really happy for him actually, im so glad that he didnt dissapear from the show, cuz he actually was my fav character in the pilot)
aoisjdjdjndndnns i cant wait for season 2!!!! Ig that the main antogonists in this season will finally be VEES?? OHHH IM SO EXITEDDDD
My review/thoughts on eps 1-2
My review/thoughts on eps 3-4
My review/thoughts on eps 5-6
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every time i think of system jason i think about. well first i think about how jason todd is a separate alter but jason todd is also the person because thats the name they own but the main host for like 20 years goes by jason and thats his name and. anyways. next i think about the ways he dissociates. but THEN i think about the littles/teens/even some adults that will only respond to robin or their name, and if they dont have a name, just robin, and maybe jason
sometimes its just a game of firing off names. some of them only respond to red hood, some of them respond to jason todd in full specifically, some of them respond to peter. theyre bad at names and in the early days its hard to figure out whos who (both in the system and out), too, so sometimes theyll just stare at whoevers talking to them with squinted eyes until they say a name they recognize as their own. some of them only respond to Specific Nicknames, some of them love people besides dick and bruce and alfred (and sometimes damian and tim and steph, but not duke, or...you get the picture) because they all love their family, even if they dont know them, but they dont Know Them. and some of them only respond to jaylad or jaybird or little bird, some of the older ones only respond to damian. its definitely a trial and error kind of thing. usually they can interact with everyone just fine, but some days they find jason in the kitchen and when tim tries to talk to him he looks away and creeps into a corner of the kitchen and they have to find dick and then bruce (bad choice) and then damian. its the trauma conversation but its also the memory conversation and the 'who are you to yourself and who do people know you as' conversation. i have a lot of thoughts abt jason w osdd/did (preferably did that sounds more like him) it does things to my brain. this post was supposed to be abt alters that respond to robin and then i just. kept talking. oops
oh my god the thought i just had. some of the littles dont know any of them and just hole themselves away in the library and everyones like 'ok has anyone seen jason he skittered off earlier and he looked fucking Scared we are Worried' but they learned early on that looking for him is a Bad Idea because hell get scared. so they just have to wait until jason texts one of them or smth like 'bad news weve got a new kid and they dont know any of you. good news we know what they respond to. bad news its a nickname from our mom most of us cant bear to hear. good news were getting them a name. bad news we cant leave the library yet. were alive though' and thats all they have to go off until he trudges out of the library three hours later asking what the hell happened because the little and a protector had a whole Convo then threw jason back in front to fend for himself
ok thats it this time i think. for real this time. anyways i have thoughts abt system jason if you have any queries please ask them i would love to talk abt him
#for context using him as a collective pronoun for ease of conversation#which is what the others do when talking about jason as a whole as well#it serves the same purpose as they/them (plural)#dont tell anyone (joking i made it obvious i just keep it on the downlow. we have a sideblog) but im also a system#and we do the same thing. she is a collective pronoun until a guy shows up that fuckin hates it#and its the bodys gender so using it as a collective pronoun is easier#plus i think jason (the alter) and jason (the system) both do not care on the whole#there are some girls who are finicky abt it but not too much#what was i doing. right ending the post. its 4 am sorry#lunas lies#dc#batman#jason todd#red hood#begging this reaches the wider community. talk to me abt system jason please please please please ple#you know what. for these posts#system jason#yahoo
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My fav thing about the SC weirdos is that theyll spend HOURS setting up PKs just to role play being a "fake system" to pass off the screenshots as "real system cringe uwu!!!" on their sub. They ARE a hate group, if they werent they wouldnt be spending this much time to make us look bad because they can't find any real material :)
As a Theatre kid, I can definitely appreciate the usefulness of a good disguise. Hell, it's how I'm in the damn server in the first place. And while spying isn't exactly moral, sometimes it i necessary to fight fire with fire. And in this case, we're fighting the entire damn Canadian Wildfire here. Yes, I realize that what I am doing is nowhere near redeemable, but against such a blatantly toxic place... yeesh.
Honestly. I'm perfectly fine becoming the next punching bag, if it means a few more systems can discover something about themselves. I will gladly face the hate group head on, not because I think it's noble or valiant (because a the end of the day it's online discourse, ir's not gonna change much of anything). Nobody is the hero here. But if I can maybe change a few minds, maybe help a few people along the way, then I'll consider my job fulfilled.
I'll let you in on a little (not so) secret. These people? These ideologies and tactics, sowing an "us vs. them" mindset? Yeah, it's been used throughout history by some of the worst fucking people imaginable.
But I'll tell you another (not so) secret...
Every stick and stone they throw our way is only adding on to the ammo we have against them. They don't care about policing systems. They don't care about "cleansing system spaces" or "stopping fakers". No, they only give a shit about turning the entirety of system spaces into a goddamn gulag. It's power, is all it is.
Honestly, I wish I could call them a cult. But even I know they don't meet half the criteria.
I know this rant is long and pretentious for no reason, and I know I'm probably not the person people need to see saying this. Hell, I'm scared of what they're gonna do once they realize how much I fucking hate them. These are just... purely personal opinions that I, Gipzi, share, and needed to get off my chest. I wholly agree with you, Anon. I really do.
I think it's fucking sad we have to go through this.
#syscourse#pro endo#pro endogenic#endo safe#system stuff#r/systemcringe#r/systemscringe#r/fakedisordercringe#r/didcringe
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AlmondTruffle because genuinely love the dynamic of this Tired old detective Meeting this Goth ,eccentric, older woman and having a fun time together.
I HC that since a lot of cookies are scared of Truffle, but Almond wouldn't since he's seen real bad cookies and would see her as the kind woman that she really is and I feel like she can also brighten up almonds day with her stories and hospitality
Also with all the scary stuff she says sometimes you're always in for a treat like Almond would be like are you joking are you not?? But anyways yeah I am in love with them :)
omg omg actually im so into this. ive seen almondtruffle around here and there but i didnt get it. I GET IT NOW....
wait wait. i feel like they've almost got a gomez and morticia addams kind of vibe. guy who loves his eccentric goth wife. (almond isnt necessarily exactly like gomez but he DOES have that feeling of "this is my wife look at her she's just gorgeous and amazing" and the wife in question is the most beautiful goth lady you've ever seen)
ALSO your hc that other cookies are usually scared of truffle and almond Not Being Scared of her, that is galaxy brain. bc instead of being scared of her, he can see what other cookies dont think to see at first, because truffle is genuinely a kind woman, even if she is a bit eccentric and unsettling sometimes. but thats why he loves her!
and she loves him because he's determined to do good and keep other cookies safe, and his heart is so good and pure, she Wants it (goth gf affection).
i feel like they're the old type of couple that can easily find comfort in just sitting and enjoying each other's presence. theyll be having afternoon tea at truffles insistence (almond w his coffee depending on his mood that day) and they'll just sit there together while truffle reads a book and almond relaxes for once with no work... truffles also just happy to tell him things and hes so happy to just sit and listen. maybe she reads her book to him, not that he couldn't do it himself, but he likes the sound of her voice and its something nice they do together when hes not busy... (she doesnt read ahead without him either, she would wait for him to be free next so they could continue reading together)
ok yeah im convinced. im SO convinced, thanks anon!!
- Mod Poi 🍄
#almondtruffle#almond cookie#truffle cookie#cookie run#cookie run rarepairs#cr ship propaganda#mod poi
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Scarab & Prismo & Snufkin & Muddler for the character bingo!
(doesn’t have to be all of these of course. But can be)
I NEED TO KILL SCARAB. ITS A NEED. I NEED HIS BLOOD (<- will weep at any angst including him). HES EVEYTHING HES HORRIBLE HES A WRETCHED THING I HATE HIM HES THE WORST I WILL KISS HIM. AUGH. what the hell.
anyways i find him relatable.. something something vulnerability hard and shit yada yada but ALSO i make weird squawking/squeaky noises when im annoyed and i like to imagine he does that with the chirping... its funny
ALSO THE FANDOM KEEPS MAKING HIM SUFFER AND I LOVE IT AND WANT MORE BUT ALSO OW FUCK THAT HURTS WHY OW OW OW everything about his - concerning - respect (kneel for your life.) for authority (he was only following orders.) and isolation (he was never invited to those parties.) from the rest of. well everyone (he doesnt need them. he enjoys being alone. he doesnt need anyone else. he doesnt want it, he doesnt want it, he promises he doesnt.) is just SO. augh.
and the self sabotaging aspect of it. no one will love you, youve accepted that, so you stop sanding down your teeth. you bite and claw at any attempt to soothe your aches and stroke your spikes down, theyre only trying to find a soft spot near your belly.
your worst fears come true. youll never let it happen again. youll stand straight, youll make yourself seem bigger to scare off anyone who tries to come close to you. which leads to anyone who couldve helped you being dissuaded and backing off. serves them right, you never needed fixing. you never needed anyone. ...the clycle begins again. it aches. why? it shouldnt. that isnt allowed.
they should stop that, stop poking at the weak spots. it hurts to feel. you KNOW its to help. you dont want to be helped. stop it, stop. everyones going to know. they cant know it aches. theyll use it against you. keep kneeling, head lower, arch your back. maybe theyll be amused enough to give you mercy.
...cough. well anyways. im gonna stop here before this turns into a full on character analysis and MOVE ON TO THE NEXT ONEEEE WOO
(youll start to notice a pattern that i express love for characters by wishing to kill them cough)
ANYWAYS MY SECOND HUSBAAND WHOM I WANT DEAD . hes. hes so. i cant.
i honestly love his aesthetic i dont know why. the tv/light/dream shit has a lot of potential methinks. i love the thought of a job swap au where prismo uses light/tech as a way to interact with the world while still being stuck somewhere else... and also the visual funkiness of him being projected onto many many tv screens brings me joy. i want that gender...
also. in general i love it when gods are depicted ss being really mortal-like... like, youre a cosmic being with power and omnipotence over the multiverses you watch over, and yet. you like sandwiches and pools and games and hanging out wih friends and its just. on every level but literal you are mortal and alive and wholly r e a l. but youre not. youre a dream, a projection, youre not even in the dimensions of the people you (love) watch. youre an outsider and its very clear. youre THIS CLOSE to being just like them. but youre not. and you never will be.
youre admired by those who are like you, but you dont really care for it. but those who you do care about either dont see you as anything more than a tool to manipulate the multiverse or see you as too grand to be able to connect with in a way that isnt "you are god and i am not". youre stuck in a prison you yourself control. but a prison is still a prison. people want what you have- how you wished they had it instead of you! maybe then, youd be loved. maybe then, things wouldnt be so ear-deafingly quiet. silence sticks out like a sore thumb in the yearning- the wish to not be alone.
OKAY AM I JUST GONNA DO THIS FOR ALL OF THEM. WHAT THE HELL. MOVING ON.
okay this time im not gonna intensely analyse his character. hopefully.
AHEM . SNUFKIN!!!! my best friend i love him so so much.......... i need to absorb his fucking vibes and gender so hard what the hell. LIKE BROTHER. HOW DO YOU PULL OFF THAT MUCH SWAGGER WITHOUT EVEN TRYING oh and also there are so many things wrong with you are you like okay bud...
i like to think that "omg hes just like me frfr" but the fact that i get so excited about that thought proves that I actually kin moomintroll nsnxjsjjsj WHICH MAKES SENSE. makes a lot of sense
i love how people interpret his personality... and i love seeing all the potential angst/drama/whatever you call it that could pop up because of how avoindant he is... and his relationships with the other characters... the way he so easily distances himself from others while (i know this isnt about him but once you talk deeply about one of them i suppose you cant leave out the other) moomintroll clings a little too hard onto him...
ill be honest im a bit rusty on anything moomin related, so forgive my poor memory + hesitation, but i do love em a lot still!!! no hyperfixation is dead, just dormant, as they say........... havent thought about them in a while but i should really brush up on everyones characters and the way they interact ... would be really helpful for some analysis and application to my own work and- YEAH WHATEVER YOU GET IT NEXT ONE
OKAY SO I HAVENT HEARD TOO MUCH ABOUT MUDDLER (aside from bloom's stuff - bless you bloom) BUT WHAT I DO KNOW IS THAT HES VERY RELATABLE AND FUNKY AND I LOVE HIM FOR THAT... button collector.... so me fr............
im quite neutral on account of the fact that (again) i havent seen much of him, but i think hes really neato and also(!) i actually used him as inspo for my sona design... ITS JUST THAT, his design fucks so hard so so hard its such a good design. PEAK. absolute peak...
IDK ! i think muddler is such a nice and cool little critter... i would love to have more content of him!!! i need to know more about him!!! honestly atp someone could tag me on muddler content id be happy to have it... i think id really really love him if i just knew more(!!!) but i dont unfortunately waaah..
#TYANKS FOR THE ASK WOOHOO THIS TOOK FOREVER BECAUSE OF THE ANALYSIS BITS HAHAHAHHAHA#woopee! yippee!!!#thanks heather!!?#no question mark***#anyways i wanna answer your prismo and scarab oc projection ask now that im on a roll with this...#huhuhuhu
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Heyyyy saw you would like some COD matchups
I'm American, but my mother's side is Slavic. I'm white, 5'6, shoulder length brown hair. I wear glasses and have a coquette aesthetic. I'm not skinny but I'm not plus sized so idk what to call myself lol.
I'm quiet and come off and kinda weird when you don't know me (I have under developed social skills due to C-PTSD). I stay to myself, make jokes that don't even seem connected to the current interactions, have a hard time maintaining eye contact. I love space and art, I have ADHD, Bipolar, and C-PTSD. I'm extremely loyal, can see right through people's bullshit, and am extremely understanding of people's unconventional habits. When you get to know me, I'm more chaotic. Not in an "I'm so random🤪😎" way but "I have an idea, I've thought it 70% of the way through, and we will see how it goes together"
If I were in the COD universe I'd probably be a sniper. I know that's a basic answer but my reasons are due to my hypervigilence, good eye tracking, great at shooting (shoutout to Thanksgiving traditions), and preferance for overall quiet and strict environments.
My top 5 characters are Simon Riley, Nikto, Gaz, Konig (Canon, not fanon), and Krueger.
Feel free to ignore, ik that writing can be really draining!! <3
I matched you with....
KU-KU-KUH KRUUUEGER 📣📢♨️❗❓💢💯🆘
^graphic design is my passion
TYSM for the first ask :,,DD So I got carried away, gonna see if ur into it but if not give me a shout to remove any of the warning stuff/private it etc !! (this is on me lmao) dont wanna scare you off w warnings, its overall fluff but i gotta tag em correctly
W: bbgifying fictional war criminals, violence/murder(described Krueger kills hostiles, implication you have), intimidation(Krueger likes killing/is ego aggressive to hostiles/brief aggro jealousy to others), ally very wounded (brief, blood mention, theyll be ok offscreen dw), unexpected gunshot on the range(all g, it was an ally), stalker-y (lately announced presence, lies that the public german nickname 4u he uses isnt affectionate, pre-dating jealousy), vague bad mental health mention, getting triggered mention, unspecified negativeish Krueger coping mechanism, vigilance(nothing happens but ur partners wanted/tense mission), you guys shooting, long mandated proximity, brief 'is bad man?', worry, long read more, light cliffhanger + HC that you were assigned callsign 'Cere'!
(This is a delulu long 2 off, next inbox ask i get to im gonna chill & try bulletpoints instead :p)(req are closed rite now TYSM for them<3 !)
===============================================🌙
"You're assigned with Krueger? Oh, buddy." Your fellow KorTac operator eyes you with sympathy.
It was the equivalent of a teacher seating the 'troubled' kid next to the 'good, quiet' kid.
Flash back to pre-assignment: as soon as you met him you didn't need to look into any files to know he was a two-faced bitch. He was pretty socially inconspicuous if not for your watchful eye. Low-effort charisma, flattery, egotisical swagger. Heedless apathy if someone that wasn't helping him needed help. All the calm confidence in the world and he's always at least hiding some part of his face. So suspicious for a dude whose job is murder.
Krueger was 'friendly', but he wasn't the type to get invested in getting to know 'the team'. Meaning, once a blue moon when you both decide to stay in a social space together, the max of your interaction is him staring from across the room and snorting at you. A joke of yours had fell on someone's deaf ears and a solid 4 seconds later he chuckled at it. Or at you. Unclear. You'd felt his blatant gaze burning you through the hood as soon as you'd started talking. Anyway, now you both looked "weird".
Maybe it was a sniper thing? You couldn't afford to get rusty as you settled on the faction base's range; one eye closed to focus down the scope. That familar 'pchow' sound: hit. Cock, reload, hit, repeat. Hit. Hit-hit, wait what? What was supposed to be your target dents in front of you as you hear the same sound, but from along the range. Jesus christ. Someone else was practicing too. You still yourself and resume through their tampering/co-shooting. Once you've had your fill Krueger conveniently had too, revealing himself as your competitor to purr a praise at you as you passed by. "Very nice."
Anyway, that mission you two were sent on. Heavy snow, low hills and wind-swept shrubland before forest. Hostile base right in the middle in which you've been ordered to clear by any means. There was no way they'd be able to send in a team yet without getting spotted, which is where you guys came in. A sniper either side. Hit your shots; everything will be okay. Miss? There's only so many places it could've come from.
There was something beautiful in that moment in the calm before the storm. Only the crunch of snow as you settled into position, impossibly small as you painted the final dot in the break of snow back to white. Above you, an even wider sprawling landscape of almost clear blue sky with a few sparse strings of cloud. You could see the faint impression of the moon. And…another planet? Something smaller, stationary, glinting. It was possible to catch planets during the daytime, sure, but you might know that this wasn't their usual positions. You think you've just witnessed something very special.
Married to that sight was the chill of wind over your many layers, and Krueger muttering eerily calm communications in your ear via radio. It's not like sniper fire could be silent, but you had a window of opportunity with the suppressor temporarily hiding your position. You'd shoot together.
He slowly counted down like he enjoyed it. Regardless of his distracting yapping you both hit, and he shamelessly hissed praise as he eagerly loaded his next.
Cut to your report back, your half-smile fades at a joke that didn't land with your befuddled superior. Krueger snickers. This was a long-range mission. Somehow, you were standing to attention in front of them, half your sniper hood burnt up (??) and Krueger standing a little more lax next to you splattered in blood. Now- you had clutched the mission. Thanks to your half-plan in response to Krueger getting ahead of himself, in which upon your very stressed communication you both went all-in on.
You remember a moment in the scuffle in which you were pinned by the last hostile after rescuing a screaming damsel Krueger (you didn't know he hit that pitch). You half expected the knife stuck through your attackers neck to pierce you too, before Krueger threaded the needle and double-neutralized your attacker with a snap of the neck. Panting, he leant out a hand for you to take, with a tilt of his head. "Thank you, bruder." You'd worked surprisingly natural together come the highest pressure. He didn't want to die, and you wouldn't let him. But God, he gave you a headache.
To your dismay/morbid interest you were assigned as a duo together again. And again. And again. Through trial and error you got more and more used to how each-other worked on the field, to the point his more bloodlust-y spontaneous ventures seemed quite tempting. With the guidance of your planning, of course. You swear you could hear him smirk on the other side of the radio when you finally seemed just as enthusiastic as him. Others joining you on your assignments would have to scramble to keep up with the pace of your symbiosis.
When he wasn't screaming and shouting for his life from the consequences of his own actions/in combat/violently taunting his enemies with concerning egotistical aggression, it was quite peaceful. Something about being able to focus together, but apart. Beautiful landscapes to the sound of his soothing dry tone.
And so, sue you if you hung out a little more.
"Come; you're needed." He'd half-joke with a pat on your back if he saw you alone, inviting you to sit with him and Nikto. The life-or-death nature of your field didn't really breed cliques, it's just when you could pick, two other 'offputting' neurodivergents were much less exhausting (once you'd mostly figured they weren't planning to kill you). Sometimes Krueger would be trying to say something and both you and Nikto would lose focus and have a lighter episode at the same time, which could be funnily validating despite the circumstances.
Nikto's threateningly gruff, jovial energy was kind of infectious. It might just come up in conversation: your mother's heritage. Ooh, Russian? Was it Russian? Do you know a second language? Krueger participated in the conversation, but…fuck, why were you looking at Nikto like that? No, no, you should just learn German with him instead. You'll have enough time for it together when you travel for your next mission.
It was very few and far between where Krueger had given anyone a nickname. Acquaintance German speakers would give him weird looks when he called you 'asterisks/little star'- "Sternchen," with a lingering tone. He'd non-chalantly play it off when you asked, oh you know, explaining it meant star, like the callsign you got assigned. You might explain, oh no, 'Cere' is a dwarf planet.
"Oh, really?" He seemed very interested as your eyes lit up into conversation about something you seemed to like.
Upon your explanation, he thinks your callsign suited you very well. Cere: an exceptional astronomical body usually hidden to the human eye. The largest object in an asteroid belt in-between Mars and Jupiter; muddy and icy; sporting brines, carbonates and stunningly shiny cryovolcanoes. Incredibly underrated for a beautiful busy planet that screams potential life.
He still called you sternchen, ft. "Mein sternchen," that one time. He was aiming for a cutesy secret term of endearment, but 'asterisks' technically worked too. You were his 'yes, and'. Shit, was he really thinking like that? I mean, he wasn't totally shy to it. It's just most of his previous attractions were short-term and pretty baseless for a reason. Especially with co-workers that actually had an allegiance to who they were working for.
Which made it all the more natural for him to unblinkingly step over and in the pool of blood of the person you were both tasked to protect when he saw you go down. He shouted scolding concern as he rushed to help you out even though you weren't even half as hurt.
Or when you felt shit, to say the least. You were stationed together in Berlin for an unpredictably long wait for a high-priority target. A safehouse in the middle of plain sight with you guys on deck. Blend in as civillians, barely working, just…waiting to be called on. It felt like leave, except you were living with Krueger.
It was definitely a little stressful for him to be back in Germany. He didn't intially realize his unconscious unconventional coping mechanisms set you off too, until he did, and he was at your side if you ever needed something. Helping you wasn't a big deal as far as he was concerned; he didn't have the capacity for afflictive empathy to get particularly tired of it. He'd stare at you with a limited calculative look as he tried to think of what might make his (..work)partner a little better.
Oh, staring? It was a natural habit of his to unabashedly look right in the eyes of people he considered safe/close. Just outside he tried to keep his anonymity, but here he offered to also hide his face or something indoors whilst he checked himself for that habit. Wouldn't be anything new.
Neither was finding the right words to avoid misconception/upset; casually, calmly squashing any worries.
Or when he kept bouncing his leg after being in too long when he sat, and you met eyes whilst fidgeting yourself. Yeah, no-one needed to say it to know it was time to go out.
Just two solid, fit foreigners with inconsistent tan lines. Yeah, no pressure. Played it off as his American other-half visiting for the summer holiday, or something. Not that he at all minded. An older couple observing you when he used his nickname for you (it..just meant star, right?); when he put his hand on your back to guide you somewhere less dodgy; or when you both stood close like you liked him to inconspicuously mutter information. In one of those moments you thought he might be a bit too much of a natural at this.
But you couldn't exactly leave each-other; he spared the details but let you know the faces to look for. And when his description trailed off, he tried drawing instead. Uh, yeah, no offence, but you couldn't tell what that was. You tried instead for him, kind of like a police sketch artist. Regardless of whether you drew often or not, he'd walk a little closer in interest, hand on the back of your seat to look over your shoulder with an impressed noise. "You made them too handsome, sternchen. That-oh yeah, much better." He'd joke.
Art was a pretty good way to fill the time. Alongside Krueger teaching you a little German to apply it later- maybe at a till. If you wanted to buy paints or something, go crazy. Company money, right? Fashion was fun, too. Unsure if you'd ever get the opportunity again to have packed nice-nice clothes for a job. Unlike him; he was underdressed compared to you. Sometimes literally.
Whenever the sunlight beamed in through your little window at the right time of day, he'd lay in it like a cat, sleeveless/ shirtless if you were comfortable. Men. Which was of note since he couldn't exactly flash them outside, but aside from the few scars (a couple of which you remember how he got them.) he had some cool (..?) tattoos. Shame he couldn't get one from you. Not that he'd back out if you busted out the ol' stick and poke. But hey, plenty of empty space left for illustratory practice to bide the time?
Time seemed to go quicker. Krueger singing under his breath around the small flat-thing as he tried to occupy himself; laying next to you on the floor when you felt bad; routine window sunbathing; eagerly crafting an elaborate game with you via worryingly stacked things from around the place just to take aggressive turns with each-other making it break everywhere and fall. It was the human equivalent of two ping pong balls in a box. His stories being your podcast as you did art; him sitting still-ish for you and being amused by the cute bow he'd been awarded to his bicep (not that he could compare to your style); loosely giving his hands back to you behind his head so you could fidget with or hold them, whatever you want.
If you liked him back? He confidently didn't think it was just an act of care anymore from the way your gaze lingered on him- which he reciprocated. He'd speak back calmly and try to hide the twitch of a smile with a satisfied tilt back of his head.
He'd hold you like he would've done anyway if you needed him, with the added flair of lulling his head to rest against next to yours as he calmly talked your ear off before bed. Maybe as he lightly traced your cheek where his hand laid, if he felt braver.
Your shared enemies always seemed to go down harder, more violently. Other operators caught snarky comments.
You weren't quite sure how it'd all come to an official head, or not. But as far as you were concerned, with your head on his shoulder, it wasn't too bad to be assigned with Sebastian Krueger.
#cod matchup#cod#call of duty#cod x reader#sebastian krueger#cod krueger#krueger x reader#ive done priv keegs/anon 2k now krueger/anon 2k#holy crapoli#jamies next then gemini lady >:D#im nervouuuseeeee#keep readings broken omfg its fucking w my POST#64sshit
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i think a lot about aus in which bug stays “human” after the events of the show, and figured out how that could happen while still somewhat keeping with canon
it’s a lot of words but hey, what is this site for, if not to ramble about obscure bug musicals
when bug gets confronted by pincer in the starship, unlike in the musical, he still doesn’t tell the other rangers hes not human. hes too scared of what theyll think, and pincer can’t speak human anyway, so instead he only tells them that he was working with pincer before. it has the same effect (of everyone feeling betrayed and loosing trust in him, he just said he was working with what was trying to kill them), but at least they still think he’s human
when he tries to sacrifice himself to kill pincer, this time february overrides the airlock doors and opens both of them at once, being able to quickly grab bug and keep him in the ship. this way he doesn’t die, and he keeps the human body, while pincer still gets launched into space. his attempt has the same effect as his canonical sacrifice, since he was still fully willing to do it, still showing his loyalty to the other rangers
the rangers all go back down to the bug planet because they know that juniors still down there. bug tells the others to stay by the ship (and maybe has roach with them so the other insects know they’re safe) before going on to find and confront junior himself. he feels guilty for junior even being and feels like he has to fix his mistake himself
when he finally finds junior, their conversation is mostly the same, except now it’s junior taunting that he knows bugs secret. the scene with bugette is also the same, concidering she knows what he looks like human. rip those two
junior and bugettes deaths effect him greatly. he feels like junior didn’t deserve death, because hes the way he is because of his dad. he might’ve been able to change, but now he can’t, because he’s dead. bug feels guilty that bugette died for him, especially after the way he last treated her
unlike in the musical, bug doesn’t stick around to talk to the overqueen. she doesn’t know that that’s bug, and so she doesn’t say anything to him and he leaves. hed have to go back to where the other rangers are and tell them that juniors dead, as well as tell roach about bugette
i feel like he wouldve been devistated, like sobbing, when they died, but by the time he gets back to the others hes numb.
other than that, what happens next can be anything, though bugs already terrible imposter syndrome is only gonna get worse. poor guy
also, if need be, bug can also still tell them hes a bug while keeping the body, tho that would have less angst and who would want that
#starship#starship starkid#starship rangers#starkid#this has been on my brain for awhile#i love having a place where i can empty my mind trash#fiddl is kicking it up a notch
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