#maybe consult an ouija board

[commissionsdarian]

What happened?

Very, very good question

[paeshsh]

Agatha All Along Episode 5 Spoilers!!

I liked this episode (especially the beginning and end sections) but it was my least favorite of the trials so far. I just wish it was longer!

If we divide the episode into 4 sections:

1. Pre-trial

2. Early trial / fake Mrs Hart possession

3. Agatha possessed & ghost

4. Post-trial

I would have added an extra 5 ish minutes to the 3rd part. I think that after Agatha attacks for the first time and Lilia gets the lights on, the Coven should have had a discussion about exorcising Agatha or binding her somehow. They should have consulted the Ouija board at this time! Then Agatha attacks again, they fend her off, now ghost mom.

Also adding more time there would give them a chance to explore the cabin(?) they were in. In the first two trials the setting felt necessary to the solution but this one was kind of just set dressing. Maybe there could have been a board game about exorcisms idk. The aesthetic of the cabin was cool but didn’t feel included in the trial itself.

Rest in Peace to my girl Alice ✌🏻I really liked her and Teen’s big sister / little brother vibes. You will be missed.

[d-adpool]

"Have you ever seen that video of the snake that they gave bionic legs?"

Wade takes less than a second of thought before he's explaining his scheme.

"I'd make you bionic legs. That's step one. I don't know how, and unfortunately, my top engineering consult would have been turned into a worm, but I would figure it out for you. And once you had legs I think we could communicate better. You could crawl on me and shit. Maybe write me little messages. Type on a keyboard, if you're strong enough. I think I'd get you a Ouija board to make it easier, but you also might get possessed that way. I'd have to give that a little more thought."

SCRAPS! I made chocolate chip cookies :) you want some?

No thanks.

Not hungry.

Appreciate it, though.

[space-mermaid-writing]

The witchling and the god [Loki x Witch!Reader] Chapter 25

Summary: The Avengers were looking for someone to help Loki fit in with the team. To become socially acceptable, so to speak. He had been given the choice of sitting in a cell in Asgard or serving some sort of community service probation on Midgard. The Avengers and Shield both felt that as long as Loki was on Earth, he should be under supervision. This is now your job. Why? Because you’re a witch. You’re not sure why this qualifies you, but here you are, giving it a shot. What could possibly go wrong?

Tags: Witch!Reader, Magic, Witches, slow burn, everybody lives in the tower, character development, Loki‘s redemption, Stephen Strange is a friend, Loki and Stephen are frenemies, Tony Stark is a good bro, kids love Loki, Tony has stupid nicknames for everybody, eventual smut

Main Masterlist | Series Masterlist | Read it on AO3 | Previous | Next

Chapter’s Note: New week, new fun. Loki and the Witchling being domestic (or something like that). Beta by @zaria-04

Chapter 25: A common weakness

You are nervous. For a few days now you’ve felt a restlessness inside you that you don't really understand. You have the constant feeling that you have to move, that you can't sit still for more than a few minutes. This is unusual for you. Also, you can't even concentrate on the book you're trying to read.

You've been in this state - if you think about it - ever since you returned from the Josiah’s. Since the attack on Gabriel. No, actually, ever since you laid the cards and Death sneered in your face. You were nervous then, waiting for the impending doom, seeing it lurking around every corner. And when it came, you were absolutely not prepared.

But now it is over.

The disaster happened and was averted at the last second. You should relax, breathe a sigh of relief. Unless it wasn't about Gabriel at all. Maybe something else is coming, something worse.

You don't want to consult your cards again, afraid of what they might show you. That is the disadvantage of insights into the future. You get knowledge, good or bad. And sometimes you are as smart afterwards as you were before.

You're so antsy that Loki catches on too, but he says nothing about it, blaming it on the fact that your brother almost died under your hands. And you’re sure that's part of the reason.

You decided that you want to broaden your knowledge. It's been a long time since you've actually actively expanded your magical repertoire. Most of it you learned from your mother. So did Elizabeth before you and Gabriel after you. You've specialized in different areas just over time.

You live in modern times - at least that's what people claim. To be fair, they claim that at all times. But it somehow always seems true. You live in times of technology. It's developing faster and faster. But you feel that the more technology develops, the more difficult it is to get magical knowledge. As if they are two different worlds.

That's why you're on the phone with Stephen Strange right now. His order has the largest collection of magical knowledge that you know of.

Normally you would talk to him in person about it, you would have visited him in the Sanctum, which is not far from the compound, and you are in the elevator on your way to the city anyway. But the Sorcerer Supreme is very busy investigating an increase in paranormal incidents in the city. Apparently there are an unusually high number of people meddling with stuff that is above their ken: ouija boards, pissing off ghosts. Mainly poltergeists, who are a pain in the ass in general. He mentioned something about the people being mind controlled and losing their memory doing the stuff, as soon as Stephen or one of the other sorcerers free their minds.

It seems like a disturbance in the force, which is why he keeps the phone call with you relatively short. You are glad that you reached him at all. Unfortunately, he doesn't have any good news for your request.

"Sorry, you know the rules," he says as a matter of fact. "The library is just for masters or students of the Mystic Arts."

You've been figured something like this. There are few exceptions to the rule, like the book on Seidr he had lent you. Presumably he had only done that at the time because it had helped with Loki. An Asgardian under control means less work for the Sorcerer Supreme. He’s pragmatic like that.

This time it's a personal matter. You sigh silently as you leave the compound and step out onto the streets of New York.

"Yeah, I understand."

It still sucks. You've already approached Loki on the subject, but the Asgardian has no access to his father's library and writings - because of obvious reasons. So he can't help you either.

Unfortunately, there are no public archives about magic, freely accessible to all. This knowledge is mostly secluded - for good reason. Knowledge is power. And potentially dangerous knowledge is not shared with everyone. It's a primal survival instinct.

"So, mind control?" You ask, changing the subject. "Any relation to 2012?" You don't mention Loki's name, but it's implied.

"I don't think so. I haven't found the source yet, but it's different. People mess with forces they can't possibly know."

"Sounds fun. I can tell you that Central Park is safe. No weird activities here."

You hear a chuckle from Stephen. "You have a weird definition of fun. Stay safe."

"You too."

You pocket your phone and stop at a red pedestrian light. Considering that you spend most of your time in New York, you're rarely downtown. Somehow, you still don’t like it. It's too noisy and too crowded for you. The city may have its beautiful corners, but in your opinion Manhattan is not one of them - and the Avengers Tower stands right in its center.

Natasha recommended a bakery to you the other day that's supposed to be really good. In fact, you met her and Clint in the lounge the other day, where the two of them were eating the most delicious looking pastries. And since they assured you that it tasted just as good as it looked, you decided to pay this insider tip a visit. You have to expand your horizons, after all.

The bakery is near Central Park, so it wasn't so much an insider tip as a local favorite.

It's a sunny but windy day and you've got a thin jacket on. Luckily, the bakery isn't too crowded. You must have caught a good time between morning rush and midday break. While the patron orders in front of you, you look at the display.

From the hem of your sleeve peaks a snake head. He wanted to see the selection – Loki always has an opinion on sweets, no matter what kind they are – but hadn't been willing to walk 'that far' across the city for it. You don't know if he just doesn’t want to be seen by people or his royal butt feels too spoiled to walk today.

In turn, you've refused to take a car downtown because of traffic. You have found a compromise in his shapeshifting because you don't mind carrying him with you in this shape and so he can still see everything. You hold your arm so he has a good view of the display.

The only difficult part is communicating - you just decide to pick the one that his gaze is fixed on, even if that's sometimes hard to tell when he’s a reptile. On the other hand, if he doesn't like the selection, that's his problem.

"Hello, welcome to Kowalski's. What can I-... uh, get for you?"

You have to hand it to the young woman standing behind the counter, about to take your order, that she hesitates only briefly in irritation when she spots the animal in your sleeve. Her customer service smile is back on her lips a second later and she keeps her eyes level with your face.

"Hi, yeah, can I get two of the strawberry-cheesecake-cupcakes and two triple chocolate sins?"

Loki tongues and moves a bit away from your arm toward the counter.

"Anything else?" the cashier asks.

You follow Loki's movement. "That one?" You point to a stack of filled doughnuts. "What's that, with the frosting?"

"These are our Sugarbombs, filled with vanilla cream."

You make a face. Sometimes Loki's sweet tooth is really disgusting. He would be eating that one alone. "One of those, too, please." You pay and shove the snake back under your jacket as you reach for the bag.

That's the great thing about modern times, and especially about New York. You can walk the streets with a reptile on your arm and no one thinks it's strange. In earlier times, that would have been unthinkable. Snakes have always been considered magical animals. You would have been accused of being a witch – which is ironically not wrong – and possibly put on a stake – and that’s a very wrong thing to do.

You take a little detour on your way home through the park to enjoy the sunshine. The city also has its beautiful sides and the gentle pressure around your chest comforts you. Loki is a great pet. He is also a great lover. You still can't grasp the idea that you striked the attention of the Asgardian god.

You feel more content than you have in a long time. Living on your own in your cottage had its perks. You liked the lifestyle, the peace, the quiet. It was a good life. But you withdrew a bit from other people. Maybe you needed that for the time being.

Since you took the job with the Avengers, you feel like you've been thrown back into the middle of life. There's always something going on, it's loud and exciting. But it's not exhausting. You feel like you've arrived in the right place.

Back in the suite of the princes you meet Thor. "Good morning, Lady Witch," he greets you cheerfully.

"Hello Thor." You set the bag down on the kitchen counter and take off your jacket.

"Are you meeting with-… oh, is that a snake?" The god hunches down to be eye level with the reptile peering over your shoulder.

"Yeah, that's-..." you continue, but he interrupts you.

"Can I hold it? I love snakes!"

Perplexed, you blink at him. He doesn't seem to recognize his brother. You turn your head questioningly to Loki, for it is not up to you to make the decision. Loki is already moving toward the Asgardian, and Thor takes the reptile in his hands. With a gentle grip, he strokes the scaly surface.

"Beautiful," he murmurs, before looking back up at you. "Ah, before I forget: I wanted to ask my brother if he wants to spare but if you two have a date…"

"Oh, no, it's fine. We hadn't planned anything for today," you assure him as you watch the snake move around Thor's shoulder.

"Great, I-..." the Asgardian continues, but at that moment Loki transforms back and knocks his brother over with the sudden shift in weight and momentum. Thor lands on the floor with an 'oof' and Loki kneels triumphantly on his chest.

"I accept your challenge," he announces with a grin.

"Loki! I should have known!"

"You always fall for the same tricks." Loki stands up, and Thor rises again as well. You watched the scene with amusement and can't help but chuckle.

Thor turns to you. "I guess I'll have to watch out for you in the future, too, if you're aligning yourself with my brother’s shenanigans."

"I tried to tell you, but you were distracted by the presence of a snake," you shrug.

"A very common weakness," Thor defends himself, but doesn't seem to hold it against either of you. He's never been the vindictive type anyway. "Maybe your lady wants to accompany us." He winks at Loki, smirking. "Watching your royal butt fall on the mat."

With feigned seriousness, Loki turns to you and indicates a bow. "My lady, do you want to accompany us and watch my glorious, royal butt?"

You chuckle. It's always funny when the two of them speak in a mix of Shakespearean and modern slang. "I always love watching your butt." You lean a little closer to him. "I'd love it even more if it was you who got Thor's butt on the mat."

It's suggestive, challenging. Loki grins. He loves a challenge. "I shall try and please my lady then."

The gyms are on the lower levels. There is something for everyone and no expense or effort has been spared in the equipment. The Asgardian princes opt for a larger room, most of which is covered with mats. In one corner there is some training equipment, otherwise it is empty. Perfect for hand to hand combat. Thor didn't bring Mjolnir, because the walls would probably not withstand the full force, despite their strength. In return Loki renounces his magic.

Thor is strong, powerful, but also sometimes a little slow. He is not the oaf Loki likes to call him. Loki, on the other hand, is faster, more refined in his attacks, but no less powerful. Next to his broad built brother it sometimes doesn't give the impression, but he's still an Asgardian - at least half of him - and thus he also possesses their physiology.

Both wear sleeveless workout clothes. Thor had already worn them in the suite, Loki conjured his magically on their way down

You stay seated against the wall, water bottles beside you, and watch the two. The good girlfriend you are, you cheer whenever Loki lands a good attack or brings Thor down.

Girlfriend still is funny on your tongue, yet you can't think of a better term. Loki and you have yet to talk about it. You both are exclusive. At least you assume so, because you spend most of your free time together and you don't have the impression that he is hiding anything from you. But neither of you has been brave enough to mention feelings. The closest thing you came to was your talk at the moon convergence. At that time, you agreed to be more than friends.

Now you are so much more than that. You're falling hard for the Asgardian. Yet you are reluctant to tell him. Maybe you're too stubborn, but you want him to say something first. He's called silvertongue for a reason, he should use it.

You know that insecurity speaks from you. Fear of rejection, that he is less serious than you. As long as nothing is said, you can give in to the illusion that everything is just as you want it to be.

You realize that your mind is drifting and you concentrate on the sparring brothers. They're beautiful to watch. Both are great warriors. They make it look effortless, but you feel the power behind it. They are no mere humans.

It's an even fight, neither has a clear upper hand. Both end up on the mat floor or in an awkward grip about the same number of times. They have known each other's tactics for too long. Centuries of training and wars have formed them into a well-rehearsed team. Despite this, or perhaps because of it, they don't hold back. Because they know what the other can endure and take.

You are glad to be just a spectator, because some of the kicks and punches look very painful.

Loki looks over at you and you wave back. The prince grins and takes off his shirt. He wipes his face with it before tossing it carelessly aside and continuing to fight without it. Thor is visibly amused by this. He's done this enough times himself to impress ladies, and shakes his head at it. You don't notice, because you only have eyes for Loki. His body is by no means foreign to you, not by a long shot, yet you can't look away and follow his every move with fascination.

In the end, Loki manages to throw his brother against the wall, very close to where you are sitting. You're sure there's a little bit of magic involved.

Thor lets it slide, but decides to end their training session. He grabs one of the water bottles and with a quick goodbye to you, he goes to the showers.

Loki sits down with you and you hand him a water bottle as well.

"You cheated."

"Can you prove your outrageous accusation?" He asks in a mocking shocked voice that makes you laugh.

"I didn't say it was a bad thing to do."

"Then let me collect my prize." With these words Loki pulls you onto his lap and steals a kiss from your lips.

You grant him one before climbing off him. "You're sweaty."

"And whose fault is that?"

"Well, for once not mine."

"We should change that."

"Maybe after you showered." You reach out a hand and help him to his feet. It's more of a courtesy, because if he wanted to, it would be a breeze for him to pull you back down.

"What a waste of water," he complains, not really meaning it. "You should join me to make it ‘economical’."

You pretend to think about it as you turn toward the exit. "I would, but I'm not sure if you can keep up with me after your exhausting training."

Suddenly two arms wrap around you, and you yelp in surprise as Loki throws you over his shoulder. You want to complain and ask what this is all about, but one look at his face silences you. His eyes are dark and like a predator.

"Oh, you'll see how I keep up with you," he growls as if you've just awakened a tiger. "And unlike just now magic won't be off limits."

He walks in long, purposeful strides to your room.

___________________________

I’m a weak woman. I see two Adonis build men wrestling and I drool

Tag List: @lokisgoodgirl @lokixryss @itsybitchylittlewitchy @yokshi-unbeliebubble @fictional-hooman @elennair @all-envy-suyu @purplekitten30 @elisadmaggiore @nothing2113 @baebeepeach @ceo-of-stfu @moonlightreader649 @ronipiamka @fluffybunnyu @ninjarose23 @ozymdias @huntress-artemiss @thedistractedagglomeration @rosaline-black @sofi786 @moonlightreader649 @paetonnn @eldriidd @r4inlov3r @eleniblue @eleniblue @maeisonline @marvel-love24 @sinsandguilt @kalinaselennespeaks @ohtellmelove @eleniblue @msrawog @hyojin-2579 @just-someone11 @marygoddessofmischief @fall-myriad @melavoris

If you wanna be added/removed dm me, comment or send a raven

[yourwitchmama]

Full Moon on Samhain, October 31st: The Hunter’s Blue Moon With Horoscopes

For the first time since World War II, people in all parts of the world will be able to see the Oct. 31 display. Samhain's full moon will be a blue moon. What is a blue moon? A blue moon occurs when there are two full moons in one month. We are halfway between the autumn equinox and the winter solstice, a turning point in the season when we prepare for the cool months and shorter days. This is also a point in time where we turn our focus inward. How are we doing in our relationships? How do we feel about ourselves? What do we have to learn from our shadow self? This full moon falls under the sign of Taurus. Since the sign Taurus is powerfully rooted to the earth, this will be an ideal time to preform earth magick. Take this time to reflect on the magick and mystery of nature. This moon, though in Taurus, will inevitably shake things up in your life where things have been stagnant. Below, I am going to touch on the influences of this blue moon on each sign. Remember that it is important to know other signs in your chart, because it does affect your main sign.

Capricorn (December 22- January 19)

You may feel as if you want more attention or prosperity for the work or energy you have been putting out into the world. You may feel like you are fading behind the scenes, or maybe you aren’t getting close to desired achievements. This moon will reveal why you are feeling this way, and will bring you the boost of creativity you need in your life to move forward in what you are wanting to do. Meditate this Samhain, have a bonfire if you can, and add herbs and incense to set the mood. You aren’t alone, there are many spirits, for this is the most spiritual time of the year. If you are looking into spellwork, doing a spell on boosting creativity and insight on how you can get things done is going to be highly effective on this full moon.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

There are two polar ways you will be feeling during this full moon. You may feel overly excited and you may want to go all out with the decorations and costumes. Do it! This full moon is activating your inner child, so don’t feel weird if you have an urge to trick or treat or watch a kids movie. If people give you weird looks, so what! You want free candy! In turn, you could be feeling bleak or depressed, stuck on your past and how you were robbed of your childhood. Don’t let any of this get you down. Inner child work is going to be very beneficial this Samhain. You will easily see into your past, and if you don’t have clear memories, feelings will guide you through your inner chid work. Nurture yourself like a child, but don’t coddle yourself. You are allowed to feel however you want, but like all things, in moderation.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

If you have been feeling stuck lately, look forward to a burst of inspiration and motivation. It might come out of nowhere, but you will feel ready to take on a new project or feel motivated to get things done that have been sitting for a while. You may feel inspired by those around you, or spirits could be putting subconscious information into your head that will inspire you. This is a highly spiritual time for you, and you will benefit from doing manifestation spells during this full moon. Remember to not take too many things on at once, and little steps are what you need to take to get where you want to be. Use this motivation to make a vision board.

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

You might feel like you are financially tight this year, which is understandable. Know that you are worth much more than you think you are, and you can get a job that you might not think you can get. If you couldn’t get fun decoration or a costume, don’t be upset! Samhain isn’t all about superficiality, it is about connecting to the other side while the veil is thin. Write down what you should be spending your money on vs. what you should not be spending your money on. Focus on what you can do to really save money, even if it is a few cents, it adds up. Consult your ancestors on what to do about money. You could use a ouija board (please use the proper precautions when doing this) or tarot cards to do this if you do not have the ability to talk directly. This is also a good time to cast money spells.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

You are going to feel much more energized than normal, but don’t let this scare you! You aren’t manic, you are extremely excited and ready to take the day, no, year on. This energy will be intense since this full moon is in Taurus, but it will not be a bad intense. Choose wisely where to put your energy. This is also a good time to examine the rules you set for yourself, and try to see if there is anything you need to change. Try to step out of your comfort zone, and realize that you are capable of much more than you think you are capable of. This is going to be a good time to think about all of the things you are capable of doing, so write down ideas for yourself and focus on each idea, exploring the possibilities that are available to you in this life. Charging crystals or any magical items will be highly effective for you on this full moon. Hold whatever you want to put energy into, and tell it what you want it to do. Let your items soak up the full moons rays all night.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

You have been wanting to explore your creativity more and open your mind to something new. This full moon is a perfect opportunity for you to get lost in your thoughts, take a magical bath, and curl up with an interesting book. You may want to watch horror movies or halloween movies from when you were a kid. This will bring a lot of inspiration and energy that you can harness for your creative journey. Any blocks you will be having will clear with this Samhain blue moon. You will be able to come up with new ideas and break out of your box to explore new creative things that you can thrive in. Crystal magick is going to be the best way to harness this creativity. Use crystals such as lapis lazuli, jasper, blue lace agate, herkimer diamonds, and tigers eye to help boost your creativity. You will also get signs from spirits as to what you can do, so look out for any symbolism or repeating numbers this Samhain. 

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

You are feeling upset that this Samhain isn’t going to be a normal one, but that isn’t stopping you from indulging in the Samhain spirit. You may feel lonely or like something isn’t right, and that can lead to depression. Call some friends and talk about your hopes and dreams together, and delve into spirits and ghost stories as well. The goal of this Samhain Reflect on your ancestors and their accomplishments, and how they may affect your DNA. You are a collective being of all of your ancestors, so look at what runs in your blood. Know that you are not alone, and your ancestors and other beings are around you in spirit. You can talk to them, though you may feel crazy talking out loud to the air, they can hear you. You may receive signs that they are there, like something falling off a shelf or a knock on the wall.

You should focus on divination, talking to your ancestors through candle scrying, ouija boards, and pendulums.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

This year has made you restless and ready to get things done. This full moon is going to amplify those feelings, so you may feel frustrated that things aren’t going back to normal. Luckily, the stars are aligned for positive change, so making a move now is going to land you in the right place. Try to get some of that pent up frustration and energy out by carving pumpkins, making a vision board, deep cleaning your house of any residual energy hiding in the dust, and anything else active you can think of. If you play an instrument or sing, do that to your heart's content. This Samhain, focus on your higher self and try to take advice from it. If you get tired from all of your physical activities, sit down with a good book or watch a movie that brings nostalgia and motivation. 

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

You may feel like your world is upside down, and you don’t know what to do with it. You could be feeling depressed that this Samhain isn’t going to be normal, but know that you are not alone, spirits are all around you. Try to connect with them to get rid of that loneliness. Try scrying, ouija boards, and pendulums to connect with those beings around you, you will feel less lonely. You also might feel that this year has been against you, and you are stuck in a rut. This full moon will give you inspiration and motivation, getting you out of this rut with new solutions to old problems. Journal and try to figure out what you need to do to get out of this rut. You can try automatic writing to see what spirits are trying to tell you to help you as well.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

Your highly empathic feelings have been hurting you this year, and you might feel sorrow from the deaths, fires, riots, corruption, and disease. Your highly sensitive heart needs a break, and this Samhain, you will get it. You may feel more empathic than usual, but focusing on what you can do to help yourself is going to be important. Go for a walk under the moon, take a long bath, watch some movies, and indulge in good food. You will learn how to feel for others without it harming you, bringing you motivation to help the world by donating, praying, and getting active in your community if you can. It is important to cleanse and cord cut this Samhain, focusing on taking negative energy out of your space and inviting healing energies in. Cut yourself off from negative people and thoughts with cord cutting. It will also be helpful if you place bowls of salt water around your space (don’t do this if you have animals or a way to get animals out of the space you are putting the bowls in) to soak up the negative energy. 

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

You are fully immersed in the autumn spirit, embracing your birth month to the fullest, and revving up for a full on Samhain. It won’t be like other Samhains, but you don’t care. You are going to make the most out of this holiday, and it will bring you satisfaction and coziness like no other time of year. Watch nostalgic movies and embrace the colder weather. Drink some hot cider (you could add a little spiced rum if you are about that life) or smoke a little thc (if you are about that life). If you haven’t set the mood yet, what are you waiting for? Go get a cheap tiny gourd if you are out of money, and try to carve it. ANY squash will do, so don’t feel upset that pumpkins might not be in the cards because of the price tag. Have some pumpkin soup, pumpkin pie, candy, any kind of food that will get you into the fall mood. If you don’t have fall room spray, boil some sticks of cinnamon in hot cider, the smell is heavenly. Spiritually, focus on your shadow self, and try to communicate with the spirits around you. Make sure to use black crystals for protection.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

You are feeling EXTRA spiritual this Samhain. You may not even feel like yourself, but that is normal to experience on the most spiritual day of the year. You are more psychic than usual, so divination is going to be highly accurate and easier to perform at this time. Give out free tarot readings, read friends who don’t know what tarot is, chant, drum, sing, and get fully immersed into the spiritual side of this Samhain. You might feel to magickal to participate in more materialistic things, so make this Samhain your own. There is no right way to celebrate. Let the spirits guide you in your actions, and maybe do some rituals if the inspiration strikes. 

Get a psychic reading here

[write-orflight]

Trouble: Chapter 2

*Gif not mine*

Pairings: HotchxReader

Prologue  Chapter 1

Rating: M

Words: 3K

Warnings: Basic witch stuff, angst, mentions of child birth, mentions of near death

Request: OPEN/CLOSED

Summary: After Haley’s passing, Aaron Hotchner has lost the light in his eyes. He seems to find it it the most unlikely of places, an occult themed coffee shop ran by a witch.

A.N: Tarot, wicca, and crystal information is very secondhand if you see any inaccuracies, no you don’t. If you are a witch tho and want to help and be nice to me enter my ask box please, I’m annoying my friend too much.

Chapter 2: God, don't let me lose my mind

The deeper into autumn you got the more busy the shop was. 

Halloween was a big money grabber for your shop. People loved to come to the shop around that time because your shop offered such ‘spooky’ feel, as the hipster who came in that morning would say. You hated that. Halloween was one of your favorite holidays simply because the veil between the natural and supernatural was so thin it was the best time for spells and charms but what you didn’t like was people and baby witches asking you about certain spells or how to commune with spirits just so they can do something “extra spooky” for whatever parties they were having for the season. Consultations were such easy money though so you’d never turn them away but your answer was always the same, that Spirits are not toys and that if they are going to invite them it better be serious and for the right intentions otherwise they might not leave. 

Despite it being your favorite season, It didn’t make you less annoyed. 

“If I have to make another Pumpkin flavored whatever and tell a sorority girl not to invoke a demon in her house, I’m going to scream.” Silena says to you as you enter the shop, Artemis in tow. Your sitter had to take an exam so you had to watch her for the first 2 hours of your shift. Artie, knowing the drill by now, tries to crawl up to the bar stool. You watch her for a second, smiling her little legs before taking pity on her and hoisting her up. She immediately pulls a coloring book and crayons out her bag, before working diligently in silence. You kiss her temple before walking behind the counter, tying your apron on. 

“You had another consultation today?” You asked.  

“Pfft, it wasn’t even that. She asked me while ordering her coffee, though I should’ve charged her for that dumbass question.” You look at her pointed, nodding your head towards your child who repeats everything. Silly winces “Sorry, but still. If this is how halloween is going to be, you’re probably going to have to do some balancing spells.” 

You rolled your eyes. “Exactly what I need, more work.” 

“What’s a dumbass?” Artie pipes up from her perch on the stool. 

“Something you are not and shouldn’t repeat unless you want your mom mad at me.” Silly says, reaching across the counter to ruffle her hair. 

The doorbell of the shop rings and the very man who’s occupied your mind these past couple of months steps in. Aaron Hotchner was one of your favorite customers despite not talking very much, he’d make small talk while you made his order which you found yourself doing slower than it would normally take you, just to get a little bit more of his time, he’d leave a tip in the jar and be on his way always leaving you with a small smile that you always immediately returned with a wide one. You tried to stop yourself from getting attached but here you were, an adult woman who had a crush on a customer who probably didn’t think about you when he left the shop. 

You’d never seen him on a weekend though and frankly you didn’t know if you could handle seeing him like this again, he wore dark blue jeans, a black belt and a black t-shirt that fit a little too well over his broad chest you couldn’t help but staring at his arms that you’d never seen on display like this. You knew for a fact(well you hoped at least) he’d have no issue picking you up or pinning you down. 

Now’s not the time, y/n… you think. 

“Hey, you.” You greet, flirtatiously. You’ve been trying not to flirt with him, you really were but sometimes you couldn’t help it. It was your personality. “Didn’t think I’d see you in here. On a weekend, no less.” 

“Yea, decided to stop for coffee before heading to my sister in law’s. Can I have my usual and an Americano for her?” He asks 

“You got it.” You wink before starting to work. Silly gives you a knowing look which you brush off. Hotch takes a seat at the bar a few seats away from your daughter who looks up at him. 

“Hi!” She says excitedly. “I’m Artie.” 

“Hi Artie, I’m Aaron.” He looks around. “Are your parents around?” You look up. You’d forgotten to mention you had a kid to Hotch, which would probably explain his confusion of a random child sitting alone. 

“My mama’s right there, silly.” She laughs. “Mama?” She says you look up automatically from the milk you’re frothing. 

“Yes, bean?” You say. 

“Can I have a brownie?”  

“Well, I don’t know. Did you finish the addition tables I asked you to do?” She shakes her head at you. “Well, how about you do that then we’ll see if it’s brownie time, deal?” She nods, fast while pulling her math homework out of her bag. Hotch watches the interaction confused but with a slight smile. 

“I didn’t know you had a kid.” He says 

“There’s a lot you don’t know about me, Gus.” You say, calling him by the nickname you affectionately gave him your first meeting. “But yes I do, that’s Artemis.” 

He nods, knowingly. “How old?” 

“Well, I don’t know. How old are you, bean?” You say. 

“I’m six!” She says, holding up 5 fingers, you grab her other hand to extend her other index finger too so the number was actually 6. 

“Really? You’re not 16 yet?” Silly asks, ruffling her hair. “I thought you were driving us home tonight?” 

Artie shakes her head. “Mama says I can’t drive yet.” 

“Between you and me kid, your mama shouldn’t be on the road either.” You swat at her. 

Aaron gives a small chuckle at the display in front of him. But he has to ask the burning question in his head. “Her dad—“ 

“Not in the picture.” You cut off. “Like not even in the same gallery.” 

Hotch nods understandably as you put his drinks in the carrier for him. He looks at you confused when you add a 3rd cup. 

“Hot chocolate.” You say. “For your son. I imagine that’s where you’re going. To pick him up from your sister?”  

“How did you know I had a son?” He asks. 

“Oh, I just used one of my witchy spells to find out information on you.” You say jokingly, but he looks at you with mild horror. “I’m kidding, Spencer told me.” 

He nods. “Thank you, y/n.” 

“No problem, come back to see me?” 

“Always.” He says, offering you a small secret smile before leaving. You can’t help the dreamy look you give his retreating back. 

“Are you coming back to earth anytime soon?” Sil says, shaking her head. “You got it bad, kid.” 

“Pfft, no I don’t.” You say turning to clean up the mess you just made. 

“I don’t understand why you just won’t ask him out.” 

“He’s healing, Sil.” You say, shrugging. “And I don’t want to push him into something he’s obviously not ready for.” 

Not to mention you also didn’t think you were ready for it. 

———————————————

On Halloween day, you get a visit from one of your favorite customers 

“Pennywise!” You say to chipper blonde women who strolled in she was wearing a orange and black dress with little jack-O-lantern earrings that you had gotten her the beginning of month. You move your hair back to show her the Ouija board pointer earrings she had gotten you in return. Penelope Garcia couldn’t just accept a gift without giving one in return. 

“Hey Y/N, how are you this ole hallow’s eve?”

“It’s Halloween and a full moon tonight.” You say excitedly. “It’s like witch Christmas.” 

“I don��t know about that but I am happy for you. Can I have a pumpkin spice latte and since I’m such a good friend an Americano with extra sugar for the good doctor?” She asks. 

“You got it, Pen.” You say before starting her order. “Heading into work now?” 

“Sure am! Hopefully there’s not a gruesome murder so I’ll be able to spend my Halloween having fun.” Penelope says. “You got any plans?” 

“Other than taking Artie Trick or Treating and charging some crystals in the full moon, no.” 

“Come on, no wild parties? no hexing beautiful men into falling in love with you?” Penny asks. You laugh loudly, shaking your head. “Man, maybe the life of a witch was more exciting in my head.” 

“Yea, you did.” You laugh. “I’m basically just a cool rock collector plus love spells, so not my thing.” 

“So there’s such a thing?” 

“Yea there’s love spells. I don’t believe in using them. I think love itself is it’s own powerful being. It shouldn’t be manipulated with, if someone was meant to love me they would.” 

“Speaking of love and love spells…” Silena pipes up from the display case she was loading pastries she just made into. “Penelope, how’s your boss?” You glare over at her. 

“Hotch?” Penny asks looking between the two of you before smirking at you. “Why do you want to know?” 

“I don’t.” You say at the same time as Silena says. “She has a Texas sized crush on him.” 

Garcia practically squeals at that. “Let me set you up please.” 

“No, Penny.” You say, immediately 

“Why not?” Her and Silly say at the same time. 

“Because… I don’t know didn’t his wife just die months ago, it’s hardly appropriate for me to try swoop in.” 

“Ex-wife. They were already long divorced before she died.” Penelope adds 

“Still! It’s not appropriate.” You say. 

“So what? You’re just going to keep making him free coffee until he realizes you're into him?” 

“Yup” you say adding the 3rd cup to Garcia’s carrier. “Give that to Grumpy for me please.” Garcia opens her mouth to say something but you just hold up your hand cutting her off 

“Fine.” She says, grabbing the carrier. “Only because I have to go to work though, this conversation isn’t over.”  

“Yes it is.” You call after her. 

——————————————

You were back in the shop. Artie was tuckered out after a long night of trick or treating and crashing from her sugar high so you decided to charge some of your crystals and do some balancing spells, knowing for a fact a lot of teenagers did stupid shit to upset the balance. 

As you were lighting the candles and incense, you heard a knock at the door. You were long closed so who could possibly need something right now? You look out the window and Aaron is standing there. You’re confused but you let him in anyway. 

“Hey Grumpy, what’re you doing here?” 

“I’m sorry I didn’t know you were closed, I guess I’ve never been here at night. I’ll go. I'm sorry for bothering you.” He says turns to go but you grab his arm to stop him. 

“Gus… it’s almost midnight, no business is open. You’re here because there’s obviously something upsetting you so I’m not just going to let you leave.” You all but push him into barstool. “Now like I said it’s almost midnight so there is something important I need to do so if you’ll sit tight for like 2 minutes, I’ll make us coffee.” 

Hotch obliges, sitting silently watching you as you lit some candles on the altar you kept in the shop. You placed the honey cake you had made earlier in the day on the altar before whispering. 

“Thank you to the patron, Artemis, Great goddess of Moon and Magic. Mistress of deer and owl. Be thou my guide and Inspiration. Teach me Thy mysteries and lead me in thy ways.” You stand and turn back to Hotch who is watching you intensely. “Sorry about that, midnight is her favorite time. Coffee?” You ask, He nods as you move behind the counter. 

“Can I ask what it is you just did?” Hotch ask. 

“That?” He nods. “It’s a full moon so since Artemis is my patron goddess, it’s best to leave a sacrifice to stay in her favor.” You shrug. He looks at you like you're crazy but you're used to that look. “Don’t look at me like that, it’s no different then some catholic practices. In fact, Christians often stole from pagan practices, and only one is just considered ‘taboo’ now.” 

“Is that why you named your child Artemis, because she’s your Patron?” He asks. 

“Actually, Artemis is my Patron because of Artie.” You say, he looks at you as if asking you to continue. “I wasn’t always like this.” You say gesturing to yourself and the shop. “My parents are pastors and for a long time I was this faith devout christian girl. But I got pregnant out of wedlock, my parents disowned me and I was looking for something to turn to. I met Silena and she introduced me to Wicca, and said whoever my Patron was through meditation and study, They’ll reveal themselves to me. So I went months, meditating daily, and still nothing was working. Then I went into labor, and everything was going wrong. I thought, this was my punishment from god for not only getting pregnant without marriage but turning to witchcraft. I had to have an emergency C-section. And when I was on the operating table, I almost died, Artie almost died. I started to see these images of deer and boar running through the forest. And finally when I came back to, and I could hear my baby crying, the first thing I saw when my eyes opened was the full moon out the window.” You sigh, sliding a cup to Hotch before moving from behind the counter to take a seat next to him. “That’s when I realized the goddess had saved me and my child. And while Artemis prefers virgin patronage, and that ship had long sailed past back then. I figured naming my child after her was the next best thing.”  

“That’s a beautiful story, Y/N.” He says, looking at you sincerely.   

“Thank you, and since you’re not running for the hills, why don’t you tell me why you really knocked at my door at midnight.” 

“It’s just…” He starts, clearing his throat. “Tonight was the first ‘major’ holiday without Haley. And I tried to take Jack’s mind off it, make it fun but it was like this looming weight above us. That it wasn’t the same without her and that it never would be. And I was upset and just wanted to take a walk but I guess my feet carried me here.” He shrugged. 

“Well I’m glad you’re here grumpy. And you’re healing you need to give yourself time--” 

“I don’t have time!” He snaps. You flinch back a bit, having never heard his raised voice. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to yell. It’s just-I don’t have time to heal. I have to be there for Jack.”

“Who’s there for you, Aaron?” You ask. He looks at you confused. You hardly ever call him by his name. It's either grumpy or gus or a combination of the two. Never by his actual name, he hated how much he liked how it sounded coming from your lips. “Do you know what a rock tumbler is?” you ask, he shakes his head confused where you’re going with this. You run behind the counter to retrieve the box you had dug through the very first night you met.

“Well a rock tumbler is a device you put rocks into. Rocks that have eroded, rocks that have trekked the earth, rocks that have been to hell and back. And what you do is you put them in this device with a little bit of water and you wait. Days, weeks, months all the while this device is just spinning, you don’t see what’s happening on the inside but after a while, when the time is right, you get these beautiful lustrous stones.” You say, showing him the box. “Healing is the same way, others don’t see you working. But in the end, they’ll see the result. And you’ll feel the result too. But if you don’t take that step you don’t end up with gems like these. You just end up with an eroded dingy rock.” You look up at Hotch and he’s tearing up slightly. Your heart melts. “Do you want a hug?” you say. 

“You don’t have to--” 

You cut him off. “No one on earth gives hugs because they have to. I want to give you a hug if you want one. So do you want a hug?” 

He nods, fastly. So you stand, he follows suit and allows you to pull him down into a full embrace. Your arms around his neck and shoulders, he envelopes you fully into his torso, arms tight around your waist. You sigh, content. Before shaking yourself out of it. This wasn’t about you. No matter how right it felt. 

After a minute or so you break apart. You look him in the eyes and he’s staring back at you in what feels like admiration. You clear your throat. “Can I give you something?” you ask.

“Is it another crystal?” He asked back. 

“Yes, it is.” You rummage through the box before pulling out the one you needed. “This is Aragonite, it’s good for healing old wounds and building emotional strength. Now I can gift you this but you have to activate it yourself. Even if you don’t believe it, I feel like it’s good words to hear yourself say anyway.” You grab his left hand, sliding the crystal into it. He looks into your eyes. “Now say, I release past wounds and embrace resilience.” 

Hotch sighs. “I release past wounds and embrace resilience.” He then slides the stone in his pocket. Before grabbing your hand again. “Thank you, Y/N” 

“Anytime, Grumpy.” You say.  

Taglist: @megatrexus @roses-and-grasses​ @tittymuncher69​ @liaabsurd​ @ladyravenclaw​ @genevievedarcygrangerreading​ @softbibxtch​ @xxdisappearwithoutatracexx​

[solarscholarsofmagick]

7 Feelings that Most Witches Can Relate To

1. Feeling shame when you forget about a holiday (again)

Let’s be honest; it happens to us at least once. Life gets busy and before you know it, you see posts on Twitter, saying, “Blessed Ostara!” while you are in the breakroom, scarfing down bagel bites while simultaneously trying your damnedest to get marinara sauce off your white shirt. What happens next can only be compared to the 5 stages of grief:

Denial: Maybe everyone was just posting stuff early. Maybe they’re in a timezone waaaayyy ahead of yours. You didn’t see anything posted about it yesterday, so there’s no need to look at a calendar, because you didn’t forget about the holiday.

Anger: It’s not your fault, it’s society’s fault. It’s not like there’s tons of advertisements about it in the media. No, everyone is hung up on Easter. The lack of accurate representation pisses you off and you’re prepared to scream from the top of your lungs about your beliefs.

Bargaining: Okay, so maybe you initially forgot about it, but you can totally make up for it. You still have time in the day to go to the store and buy some ingredients to make a quick meal as an offering. Wiping that stain off your shirt can kinda represent creating a clean-slate, can’t it?

Depression: You are legit the worst witch in the world. What kind of witch doesn’t even remember the major holidays. No amount of salvaging the day will erase the fact that you forgot about it in the first place.

Acceptance: Missing the occasional (or every) holiday isn’t something worth beating yourself up for, especially since they traditionally span three days or a week anyways. Even non-witches will forget about mainstream holidays. Besides, there’s always next year if you absolutely can’t do anything this week.

2. Trying not to destroy your bank account on a really cool crystal

For most witches, the fascination with what are essentially pretty rocks predates their official delve into the craft. When we do delve, however, that love (pretty much an obsession at this point) amplifies. So, when we go by that crystal kiosk in the mall, it becomes all too hard to resist buying that $50 bonsai tree with leaves of tiny jade shards. Sometimes it’s a jade tree, sometimes it’s a large amethyst geode, and sometimes it’s a hand-crafted obsidian dagger with an ornate elk-antler handle. However, the little voice in the back of your head desperately screams out that this money can be better used on food or on hoarding toilet paper (excuse our memeing). Who wins the argument? Hell if I know. *tries to sneakily slide card across the counter*

3. Not being sure which *witchy* aesthetic you want to represent

There are so many different aesthetics that you see witches portray on social media such as Instagram, Twitter, and even Tumblr. There are so many, and they’re all so damn cute, so finding one to truly commit to is about as difficult as choosing your starter in the first Pokemon game. (Charmander is the right answer to that decision, by the way). Those aesthetics include, but are not limited to:

The “traditional” witch- This aesthetic is typically described as Goth, witchy, or spooky. It can entail black lipstick, straight pitch-black hair, spider-web stockings, and platform boots that go up to your knees or thighs. There is nothing wrong with following this aesthetic. Go for it and relish in the fact that you can easily crush your enemies under your 5-inch platforms. And the fact that you are able to walk in them while normies just can’t seem to quite grasp the skill.

The plant witch- These witches will wear lots of greens and often have floral or tree tattoos. Their social media is usually saturated with pictures of their green children. Their hands are more often than not coated in a thin layer of dirt, especially under their nails. They yearn for their own greenhouse or maybe just a really nice sunroom.

The bohemian witch- These witches fulfill an aesthetic similar to the hippie movement of the mid-1900’s. You can usually find them wearing comfortable, loose-fitting clothes, and, more often than not, barefoot. Their Instagram is typically full of yoga poses and soap that they just hand-crafted.

The closet witch– Because these witches are not open (or are actively hiding) their craft, it is not easy to spot one. You have to look closer to see the signs. Such signs will usually be in the form of crystal and/or symbolic jewelry.

Pro-tip: You don’t have to fulfill a certain aesthetic. The aesthetic is never what makes a witch a true witch. So go nuts and wear what you want to wear. Your personal style is your aesthetic.

4. Getting Roasted by Your Own Tarot Cards/Runes/Divination Method

We usually consult our cards when we need answers. However, sometimes, we already know the answers and are just in denial. In these times, we consult our trusty tarot cards to find the real answer, since the one in our heads is obviously not the right one. It can feel like a slap in the face whenever we do a reading, hoping/praying for a different answer, and receiving what we already knew or facts we wished we hadn’t discovered. In these situations, it can mean that something unpleasant is the result of our own actions or that we have to do something unpleasant in the near future. The cards do not care about your feelings. The cards care about giving you the answers you need and helping you.

5. Forgetting About the Jar That You Put Outside to Collect Rainwater

It’s supposed to be simple. You wait until it rains, you grab a jar, you put it outside, and, once it finishes raining, you bring it back in. But, no, it never ends up this simple. It all seems to go wrong at step 4. After we put the jar out, more often than not, we go on about our day and the jar leaves our mind… usually for a few days. By that time, however, the water has either been evaporated or it has been contaminated with dirt, pollen, or even bugs. Just like with forgetting holidays, we tell ourselves that we won’t forget next time, but you don’t need to consult your cards in order to know that, unless you set an alarm on your phone, the cycle will only repeat itself.

6. Being Overwhelmed in the Beginning

Witchcraft is such a broad, broad term. When you say that you’re going to “practice witchcraft,” it can mean a multitude of things. You could be performing a spell, praying to your gods, drawing sigils, astral projecting, divining, and much, much more. You quickly discover this when you start your journey into the craft and it becomes overwhelming. We are in an age where vast amounts of information is at our fingertips at any moment. You find yourself asking, “Where do I begin?” We tell ourselves, “Let’s find a guide!” Then, we see that there are hundreds of “beginner” guides to the craft in bookstores and thousands online. It’s stressful and there’s a pressure of picking one that had the “right” version of things. In the end, you just have to make a leap of faith and pick one that feels right to you. Build your craft from things that pique your interest. Or, like me, you can close your eyes and grab one off the shelf and go with that.

7. Being Exasperated with Incorrect Portrayals of Witches/Paganism/Magick

You’re just hanging out with someone or a group, or you’re just chilling by yourself, innocently checking out something claiming to be about witches or paganism or magick- or even those books or movies about Ouija boards and/or malignant spirits- and as you’re watching, you notice some things are wrong. Very wrong. In fact, if the people in this had any knowledge at all of magick or paganism, they wouldn’t be in this unfortunate circumstance to begin wi- hey, don’t go without closing the ritual prope- at least the salt is still lini- hey, don’t do tha– I don’t even care anymore, they had no respect or reason to even do this in the first place. If people look to these things as what practicing magick is like (there are some very ignorant people out there), then they are getting a lot of misinformation and downright insulting stereotypes and stigmas ingrained in their minds. No, not all spirits are bad and trying to kill you, maybe if you’d show some respect, Karen, things wouldn’t try to kill you or possess you or whatever the fuck is going on here.

Please consider supporting us by viewing the original post on our website here!

[sleepsignals]

mal grew up with his mom also being a medium, who sometimes consulted on investigations with detectives. and they sure had a seance table in their basement... and so when y’all are touching the ouija board he is legitimately like Hey Maybe Don’t Those Things Are Not A Fucking Joke-

[grimoiresgirlsrp]

WHO SHE IS. . . 

you know too well the secrets that creep the earth, the hidden forces veiled in danger. your whole life has been spent living in darkness through the books you devour, the dreams you experience, and the longing for more. this world, this earth; it’s mundane, and regular. maybe it was your desire for something magical that enticed it back, but the box you opened released much more than mere magic to the world... it created a force of nature in the form of 15 witches, and now you feel responsible for their lives. 

WHAT WE KNOW. . .

Past: Little is known about Genevieve Ceoi, including where she came from, and why. Maybe she was always there in Salem, watching and learning... or maybe she sought out this place on purpose. Either way, her story really begins on July 11th 1993 when Genevieve discovers an ancient sort of time capsule, buried in the local woods and protected with symbols and charms. Long since had the magic worn off, but Genevieve had a feeling that opening the box would alter the course of the universe; and she was right.

Present: One by one, they arrived, and one by one, Genevieve figured them out. She studied them, closely, unknown to each of the 15 witches, deciding which grimoire to send them based on her own connection to the spirit world. She meditated, consulted Ouija boards and tarot, and studied. Finally, it was time to bring them together, but one question remains; will they accept her as their leader, or banish her?

Personality: Intelligence beyond compare is what is most stark about Genevieve. She is focused, driven, and resourceful. Firm and heavy-handed, Genevieve is not some who easily hears and accepts the word no. In her work, she is meticulous, but in her life, she is lacking. Friends are far and few between, and whispers cloud gossip calling her insane or cruel. To the 15 girls, she is almost maternal, strict but caring, and represents what many of them lacked in their own home lives. Someone to root for them, to guide them; or is it control them?

Genevieve is an NPC and will not be open for applications at any time.

[eldritchsurveys]

454.

When do you start to feel the Halloween spirit and begin decorating for the holiday? >> I don’t experience much of the “Halloween spirit” per se because the stuff that I associate with Halloween is either stuff I also associate with fall (so, the “fall spirit”) or stuff I’m already into all year long. Sparrow puts up the few decorations we have whenever she feels like it.

What is your favorite Halloween motif for decor (e.g., ghosts, pumpkins, bats, etc.)? >> Skulls/dead things and spiders. Also bats.

When decorating for Halloween, do you prefer to use exclusively Halloween items or do you incorporate creepy and vintage decor too (e.g., test tubes, taxidermy, dolls, etc.)? >> I like all of those things equally.

Do you decorate the outside or inside of your house more? >> We live in an apartment, so.

When you decorate, do you tend to create scary scenes or festive creepy and cute decor? >> I don’t decorate, but I think a combination of both is pretty good.

Do you have any Halloween parties or community events that you attend every year? >> No.

If you were to host your own Halloween party, how would you theme it or make it special? >> I wouldn’t, really. It’d just be a casual party where people can wear costumes if they feel like it, and maybe we’d watch spooky movies or something. I could see making Halloween-themed cocktails or something, but that’s it.

What was the best Halloween party you’ve ever been to? >> I’ve never been to one.

What is your favorite piece of Halloween memorabilia that you own? >> ---

What is a household or decor item that you own that you wish you had a Halloween version of? >> A spookier version of anything I own would be delightful.

Do you have any Halloween themed clothing? >> No. I might try to find a Halloween sweater (like a Christmas sweater, same idea) at some point.

Who or what embodies the Halloween essence most to you? >> I’m not sure. I never thought about it.

What is the best haunted house or hayride you have attended? >> I’ve only been to one haunted house and it was pretty lit.

Would you rather accompany children trick-or-treating or stay at home and hand out candy? >> I’ve never done the former but I’ve done the latter and it’s a lot of fun.

What is your favorite treat to hand out - or your favorite treat to receive? >> ---

Do you have plans to dress up this year? What about your children or pets? >> No, I have no plans to dress up, but if the opportunity arises I’d sure like to take it.

Do you tend to buy costumes from the store or come up with your own unique ideas? >> ---

What is your favorite costume that you wore in the past? >> ---

Do you enjoy the spooky and goth theme all year round or only at Halloween? >> Yeah, I’m already goth so, you know.

What is your favorite horror film and what makes it special? >> Event Horizon, I guess, and I don’t know what makes it special. It just is.

What is your favorite Halloween tv special? >> I’ve never seen any.

What is your favorite family friendly Halloween movie? >> I don’t have one.

If you could create a 6 film horror movie marathon, what would you include? >> I don’t know, that’s a lot of effort right now.

Do you enjoy paranormal investigation series such as Ghost Adventures? >> No, but Sparrow loves that show.

Do you enjoy true crime or do you prefer your horror to come from fiction? >> I like both.

Have you ever seen a ghost or felt a supernatural presence? >> Something like that.

Have you ever consulted a Ouija board or had a seance? >> No.

Did you ever believe in Bloody Mary? What were some urban legends that were popular when you were a kid? >> No. I have no idea.

What is your favorite scary story or creepypasta? >> The Russian Sleep Experiment.

If you enjoy horror novels, which is your favorite? >> Aside from Stephen King, I don’t think I’ve actually read any horror novels. I should rectify that.

Are you reading any spooky or scary books this month? >> Maybe I will.

Do you have any other yearly Halloween traditions? >> No.

What is your favorite thing about Halloween? >> Kids in costumes, they’re pretty cute. Or parent-child costume sets. Like one time when I was handing out candy at the Wayland house we got a mother dressed like Strawberry Shortcake and her baby was dressed as a strawberry, hehe.

[mst3kproject]

1003: Merlin's Shop of Mystical Wonders – Part II

So much for the magic-book-and-toasted-cat part of the movie.  On to the bit everybody remembers best – the satanic cymbal monkey.

This half of the movie is actually parts of a film called The Devil's Gift, made twelve years earlier by the same director. The movie the kid is watching at the beginning of Merlin's Shop is the opening of The Devil's Gift, in which the demonically possessed toy kills a fortune teller by burning her house down. There is a similar monkey in Merlin's shop, but it is stolen and re-sold, and ends up being given to a kid named Michael.  While Merlin tries to track the monkey down, it begins methodically killing every living creature in Michael's house, starting with plants, then insects, then the dog.  Michael's father, David, consults a psychic who tells him to get rid of the monkey.  He tries repeatedly to do so, but it just keeps coming back, and nearly murders the entire family before Merlin finally shows up to claim it.

The Devil's Gift segment is much more memorable than the Book of Magic one. Both the pacing and the acting are far better, although since the Book story was glacial and stilted, often giving the impression that it was just filling time, that's not hard.  The Devil's Gift was shot on real film to be released to theatres, and its sets and props look like places and objects, not sets and props.  As a whole it just feels more polished and authentic than the silliness of the Book of Magic, but since the two are intended to be parts of one universe, that's kind of a problem in itself.  The attempt to blend them never works. Because Merlin is a retroactive addition, he can never interact with any of the main characters.

The original ending of The Devil's Gift had the monkey killing the entire family by blowing their house up with a gas leak.  It also had a couple of extra subplots; the monkey gave David nightmares, the psychic came to the house and tried to do an exorcism, and the babysitter became possessed by the monkey (foreshadowed by the shot in which she creepily fondles it!) and tried to drown Michael in the bathtub.  I actually think the story is much better for the loss of the last of those.  One of the creepiest things about the monkey is how it manipulates events subtly, making it seem that this could all just be a freaky coincidence.  The best example is the incident in which Michael is almost hit by a car, only to be saved at the last moment when David prevents the cymbals from coming together.  To have the monkey work directly through a person is much less insidious.

All this outright scary stuff makes for a very odd juxtaposition with the lighthearted sequences involving Merlin and Zurella, and here it's even more pronounced than it was in the Book of Magic.  It's made worse by the obvious difference in time between the Merlin parts and the main action.  Although the director did try to match the costumes of the bit players in the Merlin sequences to the time period of The Devil's Gift (check on the 80's Dad Glasses on the consignment shop guy), the ten years' difference is still very obvious.  There's also the difference in urgency between Merlin's quest, which he undertakes at walking pace and only because his wife nags him into it, and the psychic shouting get it out of your house MY GOD DAVID.

And of course, The Devil's Gift totally lacks the element of cartoonish whimsy that was present in even the most distressing parts of the book storyline.  As I discussed last week, the horrifying results of Jonathan's experiments with sorcery are often treated as jokes.  Even the book itself, with the dragon coiled around a giant jewel on the cover, looks like something off a Magic: The Gathering card.  The Devil's Gift, on the other hand, has a very down-to-earth aesthetic, mostly lacking in anything visually fantastical.  The effect is heightened by the early 80's palette of autumnal colours.  Even the monkey itself is a totally ordinary object made of ordinary materials.

Which is not to say it isn't one goddamn creepy little son of a bitch.  There's something about the monkey's staring red eyes and bared teeth that is really, really menacing.  The mouth looks nothing like a smile, and the eyes suggest that it is watching your every move.  This actually seems to be a fairly common gut reaction to this type of toy.  If you do a google image search for 'cymbal monkey', one of the suggested sub-searches is the word creepy.  Stephen King wrote a short story called The Monkey in 1980, which probably inspired The Devil's Gift – indeed, King accused director Kenneth Berton of plagiarism.  The story also inspired episodes of Supernatural and The X-Files, a similar monkey was one of Lotso Bear's minions in Toy Story 3, and there are freaky cymbal monkeys in Fallout 4... which I like to speculate are there because somebody on the game's design team was a MSTie. While the other objects in Merlin's shop, the gnomes and crystal balls and wishing stones, look cute and whimsical, the monkey looks evil.

The sequence in The Devil's Gift that best matches the world of Merlin's Shop of Mystical Wonders is actually the one that isn't presented as part of it.  In the opening sequence of Merlin's Shop, the little boy is watching a movie in which a fortune teller is trying to contact a ghost name Thomas.  The rest of The Devil's Gift is given to us as the story told by the grandfather after the power has gone out, and all the two appear to have in common is the toy monkey.  The fortune teller looks like somebody Merlin might get along with, what with her silly outfit, her collection of woo-woo paraphernalia, and her ouija board.  In a way, using her in this opening instead of in the body of the story actually kind of works, since she'd probably jar with the rest of the Devil's Gift material in the same way the Merlin's Shop parts do.

The constrast between The Devil's Gift and Merlin's Shop of Mystical Wonders also brings up the idea of coincidence.  The monkey works through coincidence – the fire that leads to the death of Sparkle the dog while she happens to be locked in the garage, the series of events that nearly ends in Michael being run over by a car, the storm and earthquake, and the monkey improbably returning after David buries it.  All these events feel like they're being directed by the evil spirit... but at the same time, they could just be coincidences.  What about Merlin's search?

Nowadays if you wanted to locate a stolen toy it probably wouldn't be hard – look up possessed cymbal monkey on Craigslist. There's probably a whole subsection for haunted or cursed objects. In the early 90's Merlin has a rather more difficult job, in which he has to actually go out and wander around, asking people if they've seen this monkey, and he gives the impression he's got no idea where to start.  You'd think he'd look specifically at places like second hand shops and such, or at least would have some kind of tracking spell that might lead him to lost and stolen merchandise, but he seems to just wander the streets, meeting up with the people who've encountered the monkey purely by accident.

This would make sense if the sequence in which Merlin and Zurella argue, flirt, and argue again had bothered to set something up to explain it. Maybe Morgana, who gave Merlin the monkey in the first place, would ensure it found its way back to him.  But that time is spent instead on pointless comic relief, and so the coincidences where Merlin meets the toy sellers are just that – coincidences.  As a result they actually manage to seem less plausible than a demonically possessed cymbal monkey!  If anything's a sign that you need a rewrite, that's it.

I haven't seen The Devil's Gift in its entirety, but from what I've read about it, I suspect that the parts that made it into Merlin's Shop of Mystical Wonders represent the 'good bits'. The part where David has nightmares sounds pretty cliché, and I've already talked about my problem with the idea of the monkey possessing the babysitter.  The psychic's enlarged role also seems unnecessary, as indeed does her having any role in this story at all. David could come to suspect that the monkey is sentient and evil without her help.  The things that were removed from the earlier film make the story leaner and quite a bit creeper, and if you took them out of Merlin's Shop of Mystical Wonders they'd probably make for an effective horror film in themselves. The fact that it's still pretty creepy, even in the form presented, speaks eloquently to what it could have been.

I was dreading watching this movie again – so now that I have (twice!), was it really that bad?  I feel like it was less icky and uncomfortable than I remembered it being, but that might be because the nastier plot points didn't come as a surprise this time.  Merlin's Shop of Mystical Wonders is still definitely not something I'd choose to watch, however, except maybe to show it to friends and see them react to the nasty parts.  It may not have been the ordeal I feared, but I'm glad it's over with, and I don't plan to ever revisit it.

[pilawforhire-archived]

🎃Someone thought it would be a good idea to fit their head inside of a freshly-carved pumpkin, but needless to say, it was not their best decision.

“No.”

“Yes.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

“N—”

“Too bad, Roo,” Ace chirped, sounding a little proud of himself. “Already well ahead of you.”

Before Law could protest any further, Ace disappeared into the kitchen and returned with one large pumpkin carried in his arms. He set it down on the dining table with a thud. Seconds later, Ace strode out with another pumpkin and smacked it down in front of Law. Ace snatched the hardcover out of Law’s hands like it was crude pornographic material and threw it over his shoulder in sharp disapproval. CRASH. A vase cushioned the hardcover’s fall — only for a split second before the vase shattered into smithereens.

“…I was reading that,” Law muttered, widemouthed in disbelief. His eyes flicked to the pumpkin and then back to Ace. At that moment, Law felt like the sulky and grouchy spoilsport father that told their kid ‘no’ to every single request, no matter how trivial. Even Law would tire of saying ‘no’ all the time and of being a generally stuffy person. Besides — the corners of Law’s lips curled downward slightly in defeat — how could he refuse Ace when Ace had that ‘excited puppy’ face?

Less than ten minutes later, Ace and Law were seated at the dining table, busy at work cutting a lid from the pumpkins before they scooped out the filling into a bowl.

“Why?” Law asked.

“Why? Why, Roo?” Ace repeated, as if Law had asked the dumbest question in all of existence. “Because it’s Halloween? Do you need a better reason?” Ace gesticulated wildly with his hands, inadvertently waving the knife in all directions.

“Hmm…” Law put down his knife and pressed both hands to his temples. “I’ve not consulted the Ouija board but I’m fairly certain I’ve got a strong premonition incoming… of the night ending with us in the A&E waiting area. Shall we bet on it? Say, a hundr—”

“Jesus Christ, Roo.” Ace gave Law a friendly kick under the table. “Don’t curse me like that! I’ve trained for this night, you know. My stomach’s ever-ready. Take that, diarrhoea.”

“Mmm…” Law tugged at the thick raccoon mascot fursuit he was melting and dying under. “Can I at least take this off…? I’m sweating my balls off. The kids are gonna run soon as they smell me coming from yards away.” Law fanned his neck with his hand. It wasn’t that warm, but he thought he must look absolutely ridiculous, even though he had not worn the costume out the door yet. “How do you manage?” Law swept his eyes over Ace’s flower piglet costume. However, it went without saying that Ace’s costume allowed his skin more room to breathe — his arms and legs were uncovered, for fuck’s sake. Meanwhile, Law was drowning in his own sweat — just a little, but Law liked to overexaggerate his discomforts all the time.

“Peachy,” Ace murmured, fully engrossed in tracing out his designs to be carved. He paid Law zero attention from then on out, while he worked patiently and meticulously on his pumpkin.

From the television, Martha Stewart said, “Pumpkin carving is a fun Halloween tradition that’s popular among both children and adults.”

Law casually and briefly flipped her off before he grabbed the remote and turned off the screen. For the following half an hour, Ace and Law worked separately on their own pumpkins.

“What are you carving?” Law asked.

“A face,” Ace said.

“What face?”

“A pumpkin’s face.”

“…Oh. Jolly good.”

Since his attempt at conversation died remarkably quick, Law concentrated on making his pumpkin the freakiest piece of shit anyone has ever laid their eyes on. He gave his pumpkin sharp jagged teeth, five angry eyes, and a heart-shaped nose, with tons of freckles (read: stab-wounds). On the backside, he carved ‘YOU WILL DIE TONIGH’ and then he ran out of space for the last letter, to his utter disappointment and chagrin.

Oblivious to Law’s brutal disfigurement of his pumpkin, Ace finished his own. In order to show off his design to Law, Ace, very boldly, to Law’s raised brows and unimpressed look, inserted his head into the pumpkin and wore it like a fashionable helmet. Ace straightened upright, and with the pumpkin (finely carved, by the way; expertly carved) over his flower piglet costume, Law snorted and snickered. Law pressed the back of his hand against his mouth to stifle his laugh.

Unfazed, Ace waved at Law in the same elegant manner the Queen would wave to the cameras and reporters and the public. Ace turned a full three hundred and sixty degrees and stood arms akimbo. To Ace’s modelling, Law only stared blankly. Then he clapped twice and turned back to his pumpkin before he reciprocated Ace’s wave.

For the first few minutes, all was good and peachy. Ace didn’t bother trying to remove the pumpkin from his head because it looked extraordinarily cool and amusing. Law finished the sixth eye on his pumpkin before he set down his tools and stood up. Glancing back at Ace, a number of ideas flitted through Law’s mind.

“Eh, might as well have some fun.” Law smiled at Ace, an impish smile. The same smile he pulled just before he would smash cake all over Ace’s face and then lick it up after. “Wait here,” Law instructed, “I’ll be a sec.” Law jogged away, almost cutting his feet on the glass shards of what was once a beautiful vase. He skipped over the mess — someone could sweep it up later — and dug through his room. Law returned a moment later with a bag of candies and his mobile phone.

“What’s that, Roo? You got me candy?” Ace could not see very well out of the pumpkin, but Ace thought he smelled the sweet scent of delicious candy. He could smell it from a mile away, that was how attuned his senses could be, if it was candy.

“Our Instagram’s been lacking,” Law said. “About time we gave our fans some new content, yes?” Law smiled genuinely. He put away his phone first before he reached his hand into the candy bag and grabbed a handful. “Okay, now—” 

Without launching into an explanation of what was going to happen, Law launched the candies one by one at Ace’s head. Law tried to aim for Ace’s mouth, but the carved-out hole in the pumpkin was relatively small, and Law’s aim was not sniper-perfect. Thus, many of the candies bounced off Ace’s pumpkin helmet and fell miserably onto the floor. Naturally, Ace did not appreciate being treated like a dog nor was he pleased by the wastage of precious candy. Law’s game lasted all of several seconds before he admitted it was a terribly bad idea. Instead, Law dug out his phone and snapped pictures of Ace from various and all angles. 

Law climbed onto the table for a bird’s eye view shot; Law laid on the floor for a worm’s eye view shot; Law pretended he was a sniper armed with the phone and shot many pictures of Ace from behind a wall. Finally, Law took numerous selfies with Ace, though his selfie game was disastrous. Most of the selfies had Law’s face cropped out. Nevertheless, moving on, Law made Ace do somersaults and dance moves to Britney Spears and all kinds of pop music while he observed and occasionally snapped a few photos. Law carried out Ace’s guitar and asked Ace to play a song as flower piglet with a pumpkin helmet. It went without saying that Law recorded the entire performance to look back on in future and laugh. Alas, the evening passed in the blink of an eye and the next part of the night would begin: the highlight of Ace’s night, Trick-or-Treating. There was only one problem. Ace was caught in a pickle.

“Uh… Roo?” Ace called out, waving his arms for Law’s attention. “Roo?!” Ace grabbed his pumpkin helmet but it would not budge. “Fuck. Okay, uh, little help? Roo, I think I’m… stuck.” A few beads of perspiration rolled down Ace’s brow, although those could be blamed on the intense workout and song and dance routine Law put Ace through. Ace took a deep breath and tried not to worry — Law was a doctor, after all! He could most certainly help with removing the pumpkin. At the very least, if he fainted, Law would know what to do. He was in good hands; Ace trusted Law. That was his mistake.

Law cleared his throat. He swallowed hard and pinched his lips together to keep from chuckling. “Huh, what?” Law said, feigning ignorance. He struggled to keep a poker face even though Ace could not see him clearly through the pumpkin helmet. “Don’t lie to me, Piglet. Your head’s not that big.”

For the next few minutes, Law bore witness to Ace running around the hall, doing all kinds of jigs in an attempt to get the pumpkin helmet off, to no avail. Ace grunted and pulled. He pulled, he pushed, he whipped his head back and forth, he ran his head under the tap, he pulled and pulled some more, and he twisted, but the pumpkin helmet refused to come off! By then, Ace was the one drenched in sweat. Worrying thoughts flooded his mind: What if he had to miss Trick-or-Treating? Son of a bitch, Law was a goddamned fucktard.

True enough, Law sat with his feet outstretched, lazying on the couch, observing Ace’s distress. Law managed to keep a straight face despite how he entertained and amused himself at Ace’s expense.

“Aren’t we going trick-or-treating?” Law asked nonchalantly. “Shouldn’t we go? It’s getting lat—”

Ace grabbed Law’s shoulders hard and shook Law with desperation. Ace hissed, “I can’t see shit, asshole! Help me, or so help me God!”

“Well, don’t you look handsome,” Law said coolly. He smiled and caressed Ace’s pumpkin helmet. He rubbed the pumpkin helmet like it was Aladdin’s lamp. “I’m sure others would take pity on your predicament and treat you all their candy for your suffering…?”

“I can’t really eat like this, can I?!”

Ace shook Law’s shoulders harder but Law remained unwavering in his decision to be an unhelpful bastard. Finally, when Ace sounded about to cry, Law snapped out of his uncaring demeanour.

“…Hey.” Law reached for Ace’s hand and pulled Ace toward him to sit in his lap. “All right, all right. I’ll help—I’ll call for help. I’ll call the fire department—or maybe the police? I’m sure they can do something.”

“Wh—What?!” Ace exclaimed. “Don’t fucking call the police for something like this! Are you serious, Roo? N—”

Law shoved Ace off his lap. He leapt from the couch and sprinted off into his room. To Ace’s fists banging on the unlocked door, to Ace screaming “don’t you fucking dare”, Law ignored all that racket and proceeded to place a call on his mobile.

“Roo?!” Ace pounded his fists harder into the door. “No, don’t call the police! These pumpkins are stolen!” There, it was out. He had stolen the pumpkins from their sons-of-bitches neighbours who shaved their poodle into a monstrosity. While they did not physically hurt their dog, they had made their dog a laughing stock! Heathens! They deserved to have their pumpkins stolen and their house egged and covered with toilet paper! Indeed, Ace had committed all those crimes, unbeknownst to Law while he napped like the lazy fucker he was. Ace banged his fists against the door until Law opened the door suddenly. Law very narrowly avoided having his eyes punched black and blue as Ace’s fist shot past his temple.

“…Calm down,” Law said, trying to sound as comforting as he possibly can. He failed and sounded indifferent instead. “I didn’t call the police, okay? But don’t you want help? How are we supposed to ever kiss again?”

Ace gave Law’s words some deep thought. Eventually, Ace nodded. “Okay, if the police suspect anything—”

“We kill the police,” Law blurted, finishing Ace’s sentence.

“…Not what I had in mind, Roo. Wouldn’t more of the police just be after us? Then we’d be wanted for murder, besides theft and… only theft.”

“Then we lie.” Law placed a consoling hand on Ace’s chest. “Don’t you worry, you can leave everything to me.”

As if on cue, the doorbell rang. Without hesitation, Law went to answer it, and Ace lingered several steps behind.

“Whatever is the problem, lads?” boomed an officer. He had ginger-red hair, a sharp nose, and he wore a pair of tinted sunglasses despite that it dark outside. His partner stood by his side, wearing the most ridiculous afro that was the size of a truck’s tire. Both officers took one look at Law’s and Ace’s costumes and they burst into rambunctious laughter. They guffawed and giggled, they snorted and cackled, they clutched their stomachs, bent over, shoulders tremoring like an earthquake. Finally, they shut up when Law slammed the door in their faces.

Law turned to Ace with a look of regret. “I…” Law frowned, unable to continue his words. He had not meant to hurt Ace like that. It was… a bad joke. Law opened the door again. The two officers were still standing put, although they were both rubbing their noses and glaring.

“Dood, I dink eet’s brohken. Wha the fuck,” grumbled the ginger-hair officer.

“Ya gonna hafta call an ambulance,” muttered the afro officer.

“Call them yourselves.” Law slammed the door in their faces again. He grabbed Ace’s hand and pulled Ace to the living area. Law made Ace sit down on the couch.

“Hold still,” Law said. He grasped both sides of the pumpkin helmet and gave it a simple twist and a gentle pull. The pumpkin stayed stuck. Law twisted it in the other direction. The pumpkin refused to budge. Law mumbled, “Hmm… Hang on.” He jogged away and returned with the serrated knife. Law flopped down beside Ace. “I’ll have to cut it a little. Just sit still, and I won’t slice your throat by accident—It’ll be fine. I’ve done this plenty of times; You wouldn’t believe how often this happens every Halloween.” With that said, Law scooted closer to Ace. He took the knife in his hand and very carefully, he carved away at the pumpkin to widen the opening. Mere seconds later, Law placed the knife down and rose to his feet. He grabbed the pumpkin and managed to dislodge it from Ace’s head without further difficulty.

Law stepped back and let out a breath he had been holding. “…You all right?” He reached out and tousled Ace’s hair. “Sorry about those two… As you’ve guessed, they’re not real cops. Just friends… in costume. Anyway…” Law sprinted off. He came back with a large bag of candy. “So d’you want to go trick-or-treating or stay in and snack on these?”

@pxrtgasdace

[cyberstabbing]

Horror

I wish this list would be longer, but as someone who is easily grossed out by gore and scared shitless by, well, everything - it's not really possible. Oh well, maybe one day. If anyone knows good horror (not gore-focused) send it my way!

Unholyverse - “He thinks I have stigmata,” Frank said, because what the fucking hell, it couldn’t get any worse. He might as well just lay it out. “Oh, well,” said Brian into his hands. “Of course.” 186k

Break The Walls (And Kill Us All) - Frank owns an antique store, but he’s not very good at it. About the only thing he IS good at is having a crush on his best customer. Until Frank unknowingly unleashes something into his shop— something that doesn’t like him very much. And it’s not going away any time soon. 27k

ahhhh, fuck. scared me shitless. I’’m not good with horror, but i still pulled through because this was SO DAMN GOOD to read

So Haunted - Gerard doesn't believe in this shit, not ghosts, not spirits, not Ouija boards or séances or talking to the goddamned dead, but Mikey doesn't look like he's fucking around and Gerard honestly can't come up with a better explanation for what's been happening to him. 18k

Not to be read at 2am like I did. fuCK.

In Firmer Chains, Our Hearts Confine - Former musical composer and current writer Gerard Way is a sensation of the musical and literary scenes of 1800s London. But after struggling for ages with his new book, he’s close to giving up. Until he receives an offer from Grant Morrison himself; to go to his manor in Scotland and work on his novel in peace. Gerard seizes upon the chance immediately. Grant, however, has a dark secret he’s desperately trying to keep hidden. And Gerard has a few of his own. 37k

Picture me, casually stumbling upon this fic one late night. Historical? Check. An AU but Gerard’s talents are still appreciated and encouraged, and he makes a name for himself? Double check. Grant Morrison? Check. Gerard and Grant’s dark secrets? CHECK CHECK CHECK CHECK CHECK

Me: *already fucking shaking from excitement, now glancing up at the tags* Enter the tag Alternate Universe - Vampire. Queue foaming at the mouth.

This fic was so fucking awesome in so many ways I don’t even know where to begin. The slow and suspenseful unraveling of secrets and mysteries. The numerous parallels drawn between the AU and real life events of the people in it, and that the author made sure that they all worked within the AU without a hitch. All the actions and ambitions of the people in it that somehow managed to balance masterfully on the fine line between what’s canon and what’s realistic for that time period.

Fuck, lurkers guys. I’m not sure if my word-vomiting even gets anyone to read fic on my list, but for the sake of this fic (and my ego sdkjlskldhfklf) I ask anyone reading this to p l  e a s e read it. For your own sake. And mine. Because I need to yell about this fic with somebody, STAT.

Ships: Gerard/Grant, and very, I repeat, VERY low-key Frank/Mikey

Adrift - When successful author Gerard Way is forced to do something drastic to spur on his creativity, he decides to move out of the city. He buys an old villa in the small town of Kellmington and is satisfied with that, until he discovers that it’s already inhabited by one of the former residents: a persistent ghost. To have a dead spirit around is certainly not what he paid for, but Gerard soon learns that the ghost has its own story – a story that might lead him to a life-changing plot twist. 31k

Maaaaan I am I glad I read this. A ghost ... mysteries ... historical flashbacks ... a pinch of horror ... Successful Writer!Gerard ... foreshadowing ... Old creaky houses ... I’m going to come clean. I shed tears over this fic. Dammit, I need some art of that last scene. Maybe I’ll make an attempt once exams are out of the way.

The Collision of Your Kiss - Gerard can hardly believe it when his new neighbor and latest obsession, Frank Iero, agrees to go out to dinner with him. It seems as though Gerard's dreams have come true, but he soon discovers that Frank's "hobby" is a little unconventional. Gerard still wants to be with him, though--if Frank's deadly secret doesn't put a wrench in their relationship. 4k

The Old Straight Track - Death is weird, Frank thinks, though he suspects this is not the way it’s really supposed to go. 30k

This fic is haunting, in more than one way ;) … Okay, enough puns. Anyway this one has this really cool part – and I’m not going to spoil it!! – With the main dudes and a window and I love it a lot so please read it and maybe shoot me an ask and yell about That scene so I can yell back about how gr8 it is. That is all.

Oh and it has a hilariously lost Pete who can’t get anyone to explain anything to him and it was a well needed laugh from all the other shit going on in the fic.

Monster Under the Bed - “You’re not real. Go away,” Gerard ordered. “If I’m not real, then who are you talking to?” it countered. “My imagination.” “Can your imagination shake the bed?” Gerard screeched. “Stop that!” There was a sigh from underneath the bed. “It makes me sad to be told I’m not real. Sad and angry.” Gerard whimpered and squeezed his eyes shut. “All right—you’re real! Stop shaking the bed!” 3k

A Red So Deep - Constantine AU. Warnings for gore, religious themes, suicide.

Brendon says, “Ugh.” “That’s why I like you,” Frank tells him between spits. “You’re articulate.” “What else is there to say, you know?” Brendon shrugs. He gingerly pinches his jacket by the edges of a button and lifts it a little to get access to the inner breast pocket. “’Ugh, we’re covered in blood because you killed a demon with a shotgun that was blessed by some psycho priest a decade ago.’ Like that?” “You’re right. Don’t do that,” Frank concedes after a pause. 14k

Criminally underrated. Frank deals with a lot of shit that other people don’t usually notice, and Brendon is his nerdy apprentice of sorts. Frank runs into Gerard, who has come for his help. Throughout the fic you’ll notice that things are gearing up for something ... big. Which of course unnerves the hell out of Frank. Also, no spoilers and all that but this seriously gives me strong vibes of Deathwish (guess who just got home and saw that her copy arrived!). Which of course, just adds more awesomeness to it. 

Shadows In The Parking Lot - In which there’s a mass grave under Frank and Ray’s apartment complex, Frank doesn’t believe in ghosts, & Frank’s ex-boyfriend is, conveniently, a paranormal consultant. For Milo. 61k

Well, I just stayed up until 4AM to finish this masterpiece. I love love love the characterization, and the whole “we used to be a thing years ago.” Which I haven’t really read much of, but it worked SO well for this fic and it might be my new thing. Not to mention the spookyness! It was so awesome, especially how nonchalant Frank was about ghosts in the beginning, which seemed to be more confusing to Gerard than if Frank just straight up was a firm non-believer. lol. Will definitely reread around Halloween! :D Also, the author said that they’re working on a sequel!!!!

Still Life - Gerard immortalizes Frank in his own way. (Graphic medical ickiness) 2k

[urbanspellcraft]

Hello, green witch thats never done spirit stuff before. My fellow witches would like to consult a spirit for wisdom inspired by a tool we happened across, but I think it feels insulting to use the plastic Ouija board from some random toy aisle that was lying in my friends garage? I don't know, maybe I'm overthinking it. What other ways could we summon a spirit to speak to them? What are some ways we could charge the area and make it easier to conjure up the energy to ask them for conversation?

On conjuring/summoning questions, please read here. As far as the ouija board goes... the plastic one is just fine. Its a tool. You can make one out of paper if you want too, it really doesn’t matter what material it is. I promise. :)

You can also use tarot, or pendulums, or runes or any other form of divination to communicate with spirits, if you don’t feel comfortable with an Ouija board.

[scotts-stretch-line]

You know I didn’t even think about this, I was just like, hey T loves democracy, but maybe she was performing republican voodoo magic???? Gonna break out the ouija board tonight to consult the spirits, will report back

DO YOU THINK ITS A COINCIDENCE TESSA WORE AN RBG SHIRT AND THE NEXT DAY RBG BROKE THREE RIBS! BC I DONT!!!!!!!

imagine leaving tumblr n missing out on this prime content 

[tango-uniformed]

Viv annoys the hell out of Levi

Here’s 6 pages of shit I typed out this morning because I was thinking about how random connections are. Also trying and failing to write Levi as simultaneously cool and empty but with an underlying idk badness/darkness. Also two sentences of Felicia being rightfully mean to Viv for being disruptive in her shop.

####

At 10:00 one morning Viv and Levi found themselves on the prowl for brunch.

They walked down the street a few blocks from the apartment Madeline Calligaris had so...graciously provided the two of them. The Kennellys apartment was in the same complex, but Rain had lived in East Boston her entire life and stayed in her own place 20 minutes away despite the offer. The area was ok but it was so...Massachusetts-y and reminded Viv of when he lived there during college. Not a bad time but not the best time either. The neighborhood they were in was West Fenway, full of students and professionals.

It had been about a decade since Viv lived there and he felt very aware of how he much he had aged. Walking next to Levi didn’t help his self-esteem.

“This is ridiculous,” Levi complained. He was always talking or complaining but for some reason it came off as engaging rather than annoying. “It’s September. Why is it in the 50’s?” He was probably cold because he was wearing flip flops.

Viv felt like he did not know how to explain weather differences to a Californian and kept walking. “There’s a Starbucks coming up here in a block, want to go there?”

“No,” said Levi. A pretty older woman walked by him and she turned her head to look at him as he passed her. It was like the guy had pheromones. Levi didn’t seem to notice her.

“Dunkin?”

“I’d prefer a place that isn’t run by corporations or crowded, you feel me? If I’m staying here a while, I need a usual coffee place that’s cool.”

Nodding enthusiastically, Viv said, “It’s so cool that you care about that. Would you believe that when we drove out to find you, Bobby stopped at Chick-fil-a? It’s like, people like him even think about the consequences.”

Levi ignored him.

They passed the Starbucks, and then the Dunkins. One of the new dispensaries came up on their left side and Viv looked at it, trying to come up with conversation. Levi wasn’t into him at all, but Viv couldn’t ignore his crush on the guy, even though it was just leveling down to a friend-crush. He felt desperate to be liked by Levi.

He pointed at the dispensary. “Glad Maddy put us here instead of Baltimore.”

Levi looked up from his phone. “Yeah? I forgot it just got legalized here. Felt kindaaa worried that I’d have to buy from sketchy guys on the street like I when I was 20.” He laughed bitterly. “Good memories. Want to hear about the time I almost got kidnapped trying to buy weed in Echo Park?”

“Uhhh.”

The story Levi told lasted 5 minutes and didn’t have a point or a punch-line. It was just that he was so good-looking that whenever he went off on another one of his long nonsense stories, Viv wasn’t even annoyed. He was so involved in listening that he almost walked into a group of bleary-eyed MIT students.

“Anyways,” Levi concluded. “That’s how I learned never to tell my mom about anything dangerous I did, because I swear I almost gave her an aneurysm that night.” He laughed his peculiar bark-like and humorless laugh.

“What does she think about you moving across the country?”

“Oh, she doesn’t think much of anything. Since she passed after having an aneurysm in 2011.”

Viv could have committed seppuku in that moment. He cast his eyes around the block, desperately looking for something to keep the conversation topic away from the macabre. Even though Levi had been the one who made the joke, it still made him feel uncomfortable. And even worse, it made him briefly consider his own unstoppable mother’s mortality.

His gaze landed on a building on the corner across from them. It was a cafe, with Victorian-era looking chairs and tables outside. The sign above the door read “The King In Yellow” in ornate black lettering, and had a dragon on it. Viv grabbed Levi’s shoulder and pointed.

“Is that a True Detective reference?” Levi’s body felt warmer than most people’s, he could feel it through his floral shirt.

“Don’t touch me like that, man.” Levi brushed Viv away from him. “Want to eat there? Kind of hipster, but independent.”

“Sure,” said Viv, more embarrassed. He was a touchy person. His whole family was. His dad showed his emotions physically instead of speaking, always hugging when he was overjoyed or stomping around and slamming doors when he was angry. His mother was never shy and pulled people into dancing with her when she felt like it, and her hands were always guiding the hands of others when she taught music or art. Viv and his brothers all modeled the way they interacted with the world after them, even Will, though he wouldn’t admit it. Levi came across as an open individual, not closed off like Bobby Kennelly (who Viv knew straight away never to touch). He hoped that Levi hadn’t gotten the wrong idea. “Yeah. Sure. We want a cool, weird place, right?”

They crossed the street and went inside. The chimes that were on the door jangled discordantly.

It wasn’t a hipster cafe. It looked like Edgar Allan Poe’s ghost lived there with Salvador Dali’s ghost. One wall had a huge velvet Elvis painting mounted on it. There was a Ouija board encased in a glass frame up behind the cash register, next to an inexplicable signed picture of Chris Jericho. The furniture inside was also Victorian, and in one corner there was a Yamaha upright piano with books and candles shaped like skulls all over the top. Despite the discordant and slightly macabre decor, the whole place smelled like freshly baked bread and strong coffee.

The glass displays contained a beautiful assortment of French breads, croissants, and a few types of pastries that Viv didn’t recognize. From what he could tell, it all looked pretty serious and professional.

There were some people socializing and drinking coffee, but not many. The single greasy teenage barista looked up at Levi and Viv dully. “Oh shit,” he said, whistling slightly due to the braces that were straightening his sharp teeth.

It took a second for them to recognize him from their ill-fated McDonald’s trip with Rain from one week ago. He was the one who had covered for them all as they tried to get her magic under control.

“You,” said Levi. “McFlurry boy. What are you doing here?”

“I got fired because of you dickheads,” said the greasy little barista. He was wearing a nametag that said ‘Cyrus’. “Apparentlyyy spraying frozen yogurt all over a store accidentally on purpose to distract everyone from a lady who’s about to explode is frowned upon by management. It sucks here, I can’t steal chicken nuggets anymore.”

Viv wondered if this was a loose end that they would need to kill for Rain. He didn’t want to kill a teenager. Maybe Rain could kill her own loose end. Her cool gay lawyer seemed like he could easily get her out of any problem. He had already sprung her from prison even though she had...done whatever it was she did.

“You’re welcome, by the way,” said the barista, Cyrus. It didn’t seem like this establishment required a uniform, because he wore a NASA t-shirt under a black apron. “Did that lady explode? I have an uncle who works for the OVA so I’ve heard all kinds of stories about people dying because they didn’t get their magic or whatever checked out.”

“She didn’t explode,” said Viv, looking over his shoulder at the other customers. He conspicuously pulled out his wallet. “Thank you and could I get a caramel macchiato and a croissant?”

“Decaf green tea latte,” said Levi.

Cyrus rolled his eyes and got to work.

They sat down near the piano, because when Viv had the chance, he always sat near pianos. He missed his own baby grand, which was sitting in a storage unit back in Baltimore with the rest of his stuff. Maddy had told them all that she would take care of it. “Logistics,” she had said. “It’s what I do.” And she had laughed. Viv hoped that she would get on the ball soon.

“This is nice,” said Levi.

“Yeah,” said Viv. He drank his coffee, which was surprisingly good. The croissant was excellent. “What is it, a 15 minute walk away? We could all meet here when Maddy sends us a job.”

Levi was lounging in his chair. There was no better word for it. He was the most relaxed person Viv had ever met in his life. Every second he had to keep himself from staring at him. Another customer nearby stared without trying to hide it. Viv was starting to think that Levi’s variance was not limited to his sharp teeth, big ears, and strange green eyes. The man had a noticeable effect on other people. People couldn’t resist him. But Levi had never mentioned dealing with the OVA-- not that that surprised Viv, since Arlene hadn’t disclosed her abilities to them, nor had Rain.

“It’s fucked up,” said Levi. “That woman is using us somehow.”

“Yeah. It’s called a job. She put us all on payroll.”

Levi shook his head. “She wants expendable goons to clean up messes she can’t get to otherwise. I’m a good judge of people. She’s done it before. I’m only going along with this shit because I’m pissed off about someone framing me over that thing with your brother. Once that gets cleared up and I feel safe, I’m going back to L.A. I’m not abandoning my business for more than a couple months.”

It was something Viv suspected but didn’t want to believe. A month ago he had been making money off of podcasting and begging his old theatre to take him back. Now some lady came out of nowhere offering answers, a salary, and health insurance in exchange for...consultant work. He couldn’t just say ‘no’ to something like that. The Kennellys couldn’t say ‘no’ to that. Rain definitely couldn’t say ‘no’. And Levi? For all his talk, Viv knew that he couldn’t either. Even if Maddy’s intentions were sinister, she was paying up for the time being.

He decided to change the subject. “What do you want me to play?” he asked, gesturing at the piano.

“Anything?”

“For the most part.”

Levi drank the rest of his green tea latte. “Uptown Girl.”

Viv snorted and sat down at the piano, recalling Billy Joel’s 1983 classic, which didn’t seem like something Levi would choose-- but then, he couldn’t really pin down Levi’s musical taste. After a moment’s contemplation, he began to play.

He had always had a talent for music. The combination of having excellent tonal memory and being taught by his mother from early childhood lead to Viv being able to play almost anything by ear. He wasn’t that great at anything else-- bad at sports, terrible with math-- but give him a piano and he could make something beautiful. It was only when he was playing that he felt most himself. Even playing in a weird cafe beside a guy he had only known for a short time made Viv feel like he was on top of the world.

By the time he got to the 3rd stanza, the barista had made his way over to where they were sitting. “You can’t do that,” he said.

Viv stopped playing. “Why not?”

“Don’t tell me this thing’s here just for decoration,” said Levi with the air of a man who was bored and just wanted to cause trouble. He leaned over and clumsily played ‘Chopsticks’. “How am I doing?”

“You’re the next Ray Charles.” Both Viv and Levi snickered.

Cyrus looked annoyed. “Seriously, cut it out. It’s just there for open mic nights, which are Sundays at 7.”

Viv started to accompany Levi with the other part of ‘Chopsticks’. He was having a lot of fun all of a sudden, more fun than he’d had since Christian disappeared and this whole thing started. Was this what had been missing?

“I’m getting my manager,” muttered Cyrus. He slouched off.

“Play ‘What Does The Fox Say,’” said Levi.

“I can’t do that on the piano.”

“Play the Game of Thrones song then.”

What was with Levi’s musical tastes? Dad rock, an electronic meme song, and a HBO theme song? Who thought like that? Viv started to play. By this time, everybody else in the cafe was staring at them.

Before he even reached the middle of the song, a young Indian woman in a flour covered black apron marched over to them, and without saying a word slammed down the fallboard. It almost mashed Viv’s fingers. He held his arms up to his chest protectively and looked at her in shock.

“Thanks for your little performance,” said the woman, evidently Cyrus’s manager since he was trailing behind her like a hyena. She was short and overweight, with heavy dark make-up and an angry look about her. “The piano is off limits to customers except during open mic.”

Viv couldn’t even say anything. He kept thinking about how he just narrowly missed getting his fingers lopped off for no reason. Usually when he was rude in public spaces, service workers remained subservient and didn’t try to maim him. Levi looked like he found the whole thing hysterical; he hid his sharp smile behind one hand.  

“Can I get anything else for you?” asked the woman. Her name tag said ‘Felicia’. She smiled tightly, her black lipstick garish on her round pretty face.

“Can I speak to your boss?” whined Viv, taking a page out of his mother’s book. She would always complain in order to get her way at restaurants and shops.

Felicia kept smiling. “I’m the boss here,” she said. “I’m the owner of this establishment.”

“Oh shittttt,” said Cyrus from behind her.

“Will you get back to work?” Felicia snapped at him. The barista scuttled off. She turned back to Viv. “So what can I do for you, sir?”

For a second, both Viv and Levi were speechless. The entire cafe was staring at them as they, two adult men, got owned by a couple of service workers.

“We were just leaving,” Levi said tactfully. He stood up and held out his hand. “Thanks so much for the coffee, Ma’am, it was perfect.”

Viv walked out without making eye contact. “What just happened?” he muttered. “Did we just lose?”

“I didn’t lose. You looked like a real idiot though.”

“Great,” said Viv. “We can never go back there again.”

They of course, would go back again. And again. And again. Once you find a place like that, you don’t just forget about it.