#maybe an angel can pretend to give a shit so he can get his stupid wings

[vagueiish]

all i want for christmas is to matter and to be worth something to anyone and not be so fuckin useless and worthless. to not be so fucking alone and have to watch other people being people and being loved and mattering and cared for while i barely fucking register

[restinslices]

Bi-Han As A Dad (fluff edition)

I’m currently writing a fluff one shot of Bi-Han as a dad, but with the world being boo-boo, I thought why not drop a few headcanons I have until it’s done. Enjoy. (Also I love this gif).

It’s very easy to paint Bi-Han as someone who would be a terrible and strict dad

We not for that over here tho

Is Bi-Han strict? Absolutely. But he’s strict because he wants his kids to be focused and become the best warrior they can

Bi-Han cuts his kids fruit and leaves it outside their rooms if they’re sleeping

He genuinely believes they can succeed at whatever they want to if they try hard enough

Do not ever let his kid get bullied. I swear to y’all this man does not care that hitting kids is frowned upon

Or the parent gotta run him the fair one

Either way, that shit is not sliding

Bi-Han has nicknames for his kids

I don’t see them being smth like “oh my little boo boo cake”, but smth like 小天使 (Little Angel) or 小战士 (Little Warrior)

I got those from google so I’m HOPING they’re not wrong-

Since he’s the oldest brother, he has experience caring for younger people when they’re ill or injured

He’s still Bi-Han though, so he’s talking shit the whole time

“You never listen to anything I say. I just speak and you don’t listen. I said wear a jacket”

He keeps mumbling things as he’s making soup. His irritation and need to parent is clashing

“爸爸 you don’t have to-“ “shut up”

If his kid is affected by the cold more than he is, he takes that into account and gets them actual winter gear

Bi-Han 🫱🏻‍🫲🏾 Black parents - getting pissed off when they see kids without a coat

Kids get hyper fixated on stupid shit and while I don’t think he’d listen to every little thing, he’s definitely a pro at pretending he’s listening

“爸爸 is the moon following us?” “Yes and it’s going to eat you if you misbehave”

Okay maybe that’s not fluffy but it’s funny

Is it manipulation to use a child’s mind to get them to behave?

“爸爸 do you think the tooth fairy will come tonight?” “If you clean your room. The tooth fairy likes clean kids”

Mansplain, Manipulate, Murder

Murder is not towards the kids obviously

Imagine a kid just running back and forth and Bi-Han is watching

He’s not stopping them. Go ahead and tire yourself out

Gives his kids very blunt advise, which is dickhead-ish, but he has good intentions

“He broke up with me!” “Some relationships are not meant to be. No point on sulking”

Dad I get it but I’m hurt right now

Thankfully, he doesn’t raise those little monsters that tear up shit constantly and are assholes to everyone

Bi-Han 🫱🏻‍🫲🏾 Black parents - seeing a kid acting up in public and telling their kid “I would’ve beat your ass if you did some shit like that”

How is this situation circling back to me?

On the real though, Bi-Han is not a perfect father but he for sure tries his best. He has a lot of hiccups because he’s not used to being in tuned with his feelings and the feelings of others, but he’s trying. I don’t see his kids ever feeling genuinely hated by him or like he doesn’t like them

They’re not Tomas-

[thefallennightmare]

Just Pretend-twenty

*gif created by me. feel free to use, simply give credit*

Parings: Noah Sebastian x Musician! Reader

Warnings/Tropes: language, angst, fluff, smut, star-crossed lovers, right person/wrong time, cheating, talks of mental abuse.

Summary: “I can wait for years, heaven knows I’m not getting over you.” A story about two star-crossed lovers, that always find their way back because their souls are entwined. The universe desperately attempts to bring them together, no matter what the cost.

Authors Note: We worked so fucking HARD on this! Please appreciate it and please 🙏 pay attention to everything.

Collaborating With: @thescarlettvvitch(better give her all the love as well)

Tags: @thescarlettvvitch @ozwriterchick @waake-meee-up @notingridslurkaccount @niicoleleigh @sammyjoeee @xxrainstorm @dominuslunae @notmaddihealy @malice-ov-mercy @crimson-calligraphyx @iknownothingpeople @writethrough @thebadchic @blackveilomens Claudia on Tumblr @tobe-written @blacksoul-27 @loeytuan98 @loverofagoodbeard @comfortcharactercraze @lma1986 @plutonikchaos1 @spicywhenspeaking @lyschko666 @somewhere-diamond @hi-fancy-seeing-you-here @koskeepsake @bngurngheart @shilohrosechicken @emzandthevoid @casangel1986 @qualityvoidcollectorsblog @myownthoughts12 @jilliemiw86 @bellaboo967 @halloweenaesthetic

NOAH

I stood in front of the mirror, straightening out my shirt, and made sure my hair was perfectly pulled back into the low bun. Excitement filled my veins, making me jittery, knowing that Y/N would be showing up shortly. We all were ready to help her and Malcolm set up for Chase’s surprise birthday party. 

Y/N had been texting me the last couple of days stressing out about every last-minute detail for this party. Chase was never big on celebrating his birthday but he was turning twenty-five so she and Malcolm wanted to make sure that everything went off without a hitch tonight. 

I also was nervous to see Y/N again after our conversation at Davis’ house the other night because she knew the truth; most of it anyway. Bailey and I were done, something Y/N knew. But with the stress of the party, we couldn’t continue our conversation from the other night. 

The nerves were eating away at me, like a disease, so I started pacing in front of the mirror, trying to hype myself up. I woke up anxious this morning and even after meditating earlier, I still couldn’t get rid of this feeling. 

I pinched my cheeks and smiled. 

“Hi Y/N,” I said to myself. 

No, I sound like an idiot. 

“Hi, angel. You look gorgeous today.”  

Eh, a little bit better. 

I continued to pace back and forth in my room, muttering words under my breath. 

 “Hi, angel. You look beautiful today. I’m happy to have the party here.”

My feet came to a halt as I snorted to myself. “I’m happy to have the party here. Who the fuck says that? That’s so stupid. It’s just Y/N; her. Why am I overthinking talking to her?”

I get those ridiculous butterflies, even in my current state. It’s like being in a botanical garden, waiting for them to emerge. Waiting for Y/N at any stage feels like that. 

“Shit, that’s corny isn’t it?” I muttered under my breath as I ran a hand over my face. 

Another thing I suppose I’ve noticed about myself all this time lately. Growth in words- is this maturity? A grown man with grown feelings. 

I often saw my future as not so bright and wasn’t sure if this thing called life would work out. So, I stood here in front of the mirror in my bedroom and thought that maybe this life that I yearned for would work out and Y/N possibly, maybe, needed to be included in it. 

With a final deep breath, I threw on my leather jacket and then checked myself over in the mirror one last time. The black shirt underneath the jacket was pristine, not a hint of hair or lint, and my white wash skinny jeans had a hole in the knee showcasing the rose tattoo. 

Y/N would be here any minute. My mind went straight to what she looked like, what she’d be wearing, and how badly I wanted her perfume to penetrate my senses.

As I bounded down the first set of steps, I turned on the landing to retreat down the rest of the stairs but came to a halt when her presence was immediately felt. In the threshold stood Malcolm and Y/N, talking with Jesse who answered the door. The bright smile on her face made my stomach twinge in a good way as my breath caught in my throat. 

Her long hair fell to the middle of her back in waves. The black dress hugged every one of her curves in all the right places, stopping right beneath her ass. Her tattoos were on full display tonight. The swell of her breasts poked through the mesh part of her dress that covered her neck and chest.

I wasn’t sure if Y/N having a glowing halo effect was normal, hence why the nickname I had for her only made sense.

Angel. 

It began to feel like she was specifically meant to shine for me alone, a long time ago, even with that time we were distant. I couldn’t possibly imagine another man seeing it or enjoying the warmth Y/N brought. My palms were sweating, I knew this had to be it. I had to make the move.

“You’re such a sweet talker, Jesse,” Y/N giggled while playfully rolling her eyes, tapping his cheek twice.

As I took the last step, stepping into the living room, something fell from her bag causing her to bend over to pick it up. Orie snuck up beside me and tilted his gaze toward Y/N’s ass; something I noticed immediately. 

“Orie,” I seethed low. 

His eyes snapped over to me, a sly smirk on his lips. “Y/N looks good, huh?” 

My jaw ticked but I let out a deep breath while counting to my ten in my head. 

I’m not mad. It’s innocent. It’s Orie, he knows how I feel about Y/N.

As Y/N stood tall, a bright shine from around her neck caught my attention, and gone was the anger replaced with sheer adoration. She was wearing the necklace and bracelet I bought her for her birthday. 

My heart skipped a beat as our eyes finally locked. 

“Hi,” Y/N smiled warmly. 

“Hi, angel.” 

I shifted on my feet, suddenly hot under her bright gaze. She looked absolutely breathtaking in that dress and how it hugged her tits perfectly made my cock throb in my jeans.  She softly tucked a strand behind her ear and our eyes never left each other. Malcolm looked between us, a sly smirk on his lips. 

“Y/N, why don’t you hand me the bags? I’ll start getting things set up while Noah gives you the tour,” Malcolm said while taking the bags of party supplies from her. 

“Yeah,” I nodded. “Sure.” 

As she walked past me, the scent of her perfume filled my senses and my cock now ached when I remembered how pretty she looked while sitting on top of me, her hands grasping my braids. 

“Oh, you smell good,” Y/N smiled up at me as I began leading her to the kitchen so she could set down the rest of the bags Malcolm couldn't carry. 

My cheeks warmed and I rubbed the back of my neck. “Thanks-uh, so do you.” 

“Let me take those from you,” Jolly smiled while giving Y/N a friendly kiss on her cheek. 

“Thank you, Jolly.” She smiled. “Did we get enough alcohol? I ordered the pizzas but I won’t have time to pick them up. Oh shit, I forgot to buy cups!” 

Y/N went to turn on her heels but I gently grabbed her shoulders to keep her in place in front of me, her back to my chest. 

“You need to relax, angel. You're trying to control so much of this party. Let us help you,” I rubbed out the tense muscles in her shoulder. 

“I just want to make things perfect for Chase,” she relaxed in my embrace. “The last few years of his birthday have been filled with unnecessary drama.” 

My nose brushed along her hairline. “It will be fine. Davis will pick up the pizzas and we’ll have Nick buy the cups.” 

“Someone has to pick up Chase. If I go, he’ll be able to read me and know something is up,” Malcolm said while unloading all the party supplies. 

“Fuck, I can’t. My car is filled with the balloons,” Y/N tensed under my touch so I was quick to offer a solution. 

“Okay, so this is what we will do. Davis will pick up the pizzas. Nick will stop at the store to buy the cups. Michael and Orie are in charge of setting up the alcohol. Jolly and Jesse, you guys figure out the music. Folio will pick up Chase. Those two can talk about drums or cymbals.” 

Y/N instantly relaxed once again and leaned her head against my shoulder. “Matt is picking up the cake.”

My hands rubbed her arms. “See? We have everything figured out. There’s no need to stress, angel.” 

“I know,” she let out a deep breath. “Thank you guys for letting us have the party here. It’s a nice place, lots of space. ” 

Michael chuckled while setting up the makeshift bar on the kitchen island. “You’d think so with the five of us but I’m starting to think we’re out-growing this place.” 

“Soon, it’ll be four of you. I move out at the end of the month,” Orie said as he walked into the kitchen, giving Y/N and Malcolm a fast fist bump. 

“Oh, that’s right. With the Mrs,” Jesse smirked. 

Orie rolled his eyes with a small smirk. “She’s not the Mrs. Yet.” 

Y/N watched my roommates bicker back and forth with a bright smile which in turn, made me hold onto her a bit tighter, not wanting to let her go. From day one, she always fit in with us, never once feeling left out. Everyone welcomed her with open arms and for that, I’ll always be grateful for that. 

“Angel,” I said into her hairline.

Y/N eyes sparkled as she gazed up at me, a loose strand of silky hair fell into her face, so I brushed it away and let my finger graze over her cheek. 

“Hm?” Her voice was quiet. 

“Let me show you upstairs,” my voice matched hers.

The corner of her lips lifted in a smile. “I’d love that.” 

As the others chatted amongst themselves, I led Y/N back to the living room, hand now on her back, and as we reached the stairs Bryan walked through the front door with Matt. 

“Hi!” Y/N smiled and stepped away from my embrace to give them their own separate hugs. “Malcolm is in the kitchen, he can show you guys where to set everything up.” 

Matt smiled while letting his hand rest in the middle of her back. “You look beautiful, Y/N.” 

I kept a watchful gaze on her, even though there wasn’t a need to.

“Oh, such a sweetheart,” she playfully pinched his cheeks. “You forgot to grab the cake didn’t you?” 

“Don’t worry,” he waved her off. “Davis will pick it up on his way over here; after he gets the pizza. I already texted him.” 

Rolling her eyes, Y/N turned her attention to Bryan. “Did you bring it?” 

He held up his camera bag. “Everything is ready to go.” 

“Awesome,” she clapped her hands with excitement. 

“What are you planning?” I questioned while crossing my arms over my chest. 

Y/N merely shrugged with a coy smirk. “Oh, nothing. Now are you going to finish giving me the tour or what?” 

I held out my arm towards the staircase on my left. “After you, angel.” 

Her heels clicked against the hardwood floor only to be muted by the carpet on the stairs and I followed close behind her, Matt’s voice calling after us. 

“Leave the door open, you two!” 

Without Y/N seeing, I flipped off Matt and then led her down the long hallway, telling her whose room was whose. She walked in front of me, her scent filling my senses the entire time, and my hands ghosted over her hips as I led her to the last door on the left.

“Welcome to my abode! Mi casa su casa and all that shit,” I said as we came to a stop. 

Y/N giggled. “And you said you couldn’t speak Spanish.” 

“I tried, gave up,” I chuckled, now grasping her hips from behind. 

With her standing in front of me, I stuck my arms over her shoulders to reach for the doorknob. But before I opened the door, I rested my chin on her shoulder, and Y/N immediately relaxed in my embrace. 

“This is my room,” I breathed against the crook of her neck. 

I saw her skin prick like a cactus as my breath tickled her sensitive skin. I only imagined her nipples probably did too but had to switch thoughts to avoid my cock twitching in case Y/N could feel it brush against her ass. I gazed down at her, my eyes immediately watching the rise and fall of her chest, and I licked my lips at the sight of them. 

A light click sounded as I opened my door, gently patting Y/N’s thigh so she could walk inside. She took a few tentative steps but I didn’t let her go far without me right behind her. It’s been so long since I felt her this close and now nothing was stopping us.

My heart was so heavy with my devotion, that I nearly kneeled at her feet.  If she only knew, I would do anything for her- to the fucking grave. Either way what bliss. This would be the best chance for me to explain it; to cave and tell her those three words.

I craved Y/N’s touch, her in this room was beginning to consume me and I’d fucking let her.  I watched her eyes close and open slowly, her body movements so gentle she leaned into my tiny touches. The way my hand grazed up her back. The way my fingers danced with hers as we stepped through the threshold of my bedroom; her pinking hooking with mine. I was so close to forgetting what the event tonight was. All I wanted was her all to my fucking self and I wanted to throw her on my bed only to rip off that dress. My tongue craved to taste every single part of her. 

Y/N’s eyes took in all aspects of my room; my desk with my computer. 

“Levi, huh?” She smirked while pointing to my monitor. 

Earlier, I was watching Attack on Titan and paused the episode, never exiting out of the app. 

I shrugged while stuffing my hands deep into my pockets. “You know he’s my favorite, he’s pushing for Naurto to move for the top spot.”

“It’s the hair I bet,” she began looking around my room once again. 

To the mirror, my bed, and the rosary beads. Her eyes darted from the bed back to me, a silent question. 

I nodded, letting her know it was fine to sit, which she did by resting on the edge. I followed, not leaving any space between us. 

“Shit,” Y/N cursed with a groan. “I don’t know why I even wore heels. They kill my ankles.” 

Bending over, I lifted both her feet into my lap to remove her heels then set them on the bed behind me. 

“But they complete my outfit,” she pouted. 

I chuckled while tracing a finger over the small tattoo on her ankle, the one that mirrored mine in design and spot. 

“Just rest your feet for a little while,” I suggested, eyes still on her tattoo. 

Mine subconsciously began to itch with the memories of when we got the tattoos. Her birthday. 

“Oh,” I said suddenly, remembering what I saw online earlier. “I saw that Hollow Souls are going on tour again?” 

Y/N smiled brightly, pure excitement on her face. “Yeah. Who told you that?” 

I waved her off with the hand that wasn’t grazing over her ankle. “Oh, must have been the little birds.” 

“Sneaky birds. But did you see who we’re touring with?”  

I hummed. “Nothing, nowhere. I bet you’re fangirling on the inside right now, huh?” I teased. 

“Can you blame me?” She scoffed. “Joe’s been one of my favorite artists for years now and to experience touring with him, I haven’t stopped smiling since I got the call.”  

When I first found out about this tour, I expected myself to get jealous at the thought of her being on the road with another man while being so far from me but surprisingly, I felt at peace. I trusted Y/N and knew that although she might have had an artist appreciation, I would have liked to think that her heart stayed with me. 

“It will be a sick tour,” I nodded. “Maybe I’ll come out to a show and support you guys. How does it feel knowing this is your first tour as a three piece?” 

Y/N played with the hem of her dress. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m excited; nervous but very excited. But it's still daunting to know that we have to go up there without a screamer, you know? Everyone seems to be loving our new singles but having to go out there and perform them is scary.” 

“Well, if you’re ever interested in taking up screaming. There’s this great vocal coach that I’ve been looking into. She helps out a lot of artists and I have my first lesson with her at the end of the month,” I stated, fingers still grazing over her skin. 

“I’ll keep that in mind, thanks Mochi,” Y/N reached over and ruffled my hair. 

I dragged my finger up her calf now, her skin pricking under my touch, and I dared a glance to her inner thighs and my cock was now aching in my jeans. Her head turned towards my mirror closet as she watched our reflections. 

“Hm, a mirror right in front of your bed. Kinky,” she winked. 

By now my cock was straining against my zipper and knew I needed to do something about it soon otherwise it would be an issue for the rest of the night. There it went again, my mind completely doing the opposite of what I wanted right now. All I saw were those erotic images over and over.

Y/N kneeled down on the floor between my legs and I shivered under her touch again as her nails raked up and down my thighs. I watched her actions from the mirror behind her, eyes drinking at the sight of her large back tattoo and the perkiness of her round ass. My cock twitched in front of her face as she gazed up at me, taking her bottom lip between her teeth.

“I’ve dreamed of the way you tasted, Noah.”

I shook the thought away but it didn't last long because another image of Y/N flashed in my mind. 

A guttural groan sounded from the back of my throat and I titled my head up towards the ceiling, my long hair cascading down my back. I gripped Y/N’s head with a vise grip and guided her up and down; slowly at first until I reached the resistance of the back of her throat and buried my cock deep in there.

That dream was so vivid when I had it months ago, just as the memories are now. 

Her pussy clenched over my cock as she came undone, her arousal spreading down my thighs. I hooked my fingers in her mouth to hold her up so she could watch us in the mirror now.

“Watch as I fuck your pretty pussy,” I ordered, long hair covering my face.

Y/N did the best she could to nod with my hooks in her mouth and my pace became relentless, slamming into her so hard and fast that the noises echoed throughout my room. The burning felt warm at the base of my spine as my heart pounded wildly in my chest, my own orgasm so fucking close to destroying me.

“Noah?” 

My eyes snapped away from our reflections in the mirror to Y/N’s ethereal face, my fingers still grazing up and down her leg. “Hm?”

“Well, before you zoned out,” she giggled while removing her legs from my lap only to sit on her knees. “I was going to tell you, I love your house and your room! It’s- it’s cute. The LED lights are a nice touch.” 

I smiled. “I love the way you look with them. Soaked in neon glows.” 

Y/N’s eyes sparkled as she looked over my shoulder towards the wall where I had old Bad Omens tour posters framed. 

“No way,” she muttered while climbing off the bed to gaze upon the frames. “You kept the tour poster with Hollow Souls?” 

I rose to my feet, brushing away any hair or lint from my leather jacket, and stood behind her. 

“Yeah, it was our first tour together. It may not have ended in the best way but it’s where we met,” I brushed away her hair from her neck, seeing the tattoo of her large snake back piece peek through the top of her dress. 

Fuck, this had to be my favorite tattoo of hers. It fit her back so well, each groove of her spine. 

I really should book that appointment.

My fingers now grazed over her bracelet and I hummed low in approval. “These look really good on you, angel.” 

“I wear them all the time now. I never take them off. Not even in the shower,” she winked while gazing over at me.

Fuck. 

My cock twitched and I let out a low groan, imagining Y/N in the shower with her necklace and bracelet only on her unholy skin. I leaned my face into the crook of her neck, breathing in her scent, and when my lips brushed against the skin behind her ear, Y/N shivered at my touch. 

“Noah,” she breathed. 

“I’ve missed the way you smelled,” my teeth grazed on the shell of her ear. 

Slowly, Y/N turned in my embrace, now gazing up at me through those long lashes, and I sucked in a breath at her sheer beauty. That magnetic pull that we always felt between us began to vibrate within us, causing her to lean up towards my lips. I tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, letting my fingers linger on the side of her neck briefly before cupping her cheek. 

“Mochi,” she moaned softly.

I swallowed, my voice just above a whisper. “Angel.”

Y/N’s hands grasped at my arms, her nails digging into the leather of my jacket, and I continued to hold her face in between my hands. Our lips were so fucking close now, I could feel her warm breath fan across until the taste of raspberry lingered on my bottom lip. 

“Hey, Davis is wondering if the pizzas are already paid for?” Jesse came barreling through the closed door. 

My head snapped to the right, eyes narrowing at him as he peeled an orange with a smug smile on his face. 

“Shit, did I interrupt something? I tend to do that. Just with different fruits,” Jesse popped a piece of orange in his mouth. 

I sighed and let my hands fall from Y/N’s so I could point a finger at him. “You’re peeling an orange and the juices are dripping all over my clean floor.”

“It’s fine. See?” He wiped some of the juice with his foot, his sock getting citrus on it, smearing it all over the hardwood. 

“Jesse,” I gritted out through clenched teeth. “I spent all day cleaning and mopping this entire space.” 

He rolled his eyes and finished the rest of the orange in one bite. “So, Davis.” 

Y/N, who was stifling a giggle behind her hand, nodded. “Yes, the pizzas are already paid for. It’s under Malcolm’s name.”

“Cool. Speaking of which, Malcolm needs help with the banner.” 

“Of course he does,” Y/N shook her head with a chuckle and began to walk away. 

My hand reached for hers, locking around her wrist. “Do you want some help?” 

She patted my hand lightly. “I’d love that, Noah.” 

As Y/N put her heels back on, I pushed Jess out of my room, orange peels and all. Then I led Y/N back downstairs with my hands on her hips. 

“I swear, I’m going to have to buy a lock for my door if Jesse keeps popping in,” I grumbled. 

Y/N turned in my embrace slightly to smack my chest. “Oh, be nice.” 

“And if I’m not?” I teased with a raised brow. 

Just as her lips parted, another shrill voice echoed through the space of the living room; one I hadn’t expected to hear. 

“Hi, baby!”

Y/N’s feet skidded to a halt and I nearly tripped over her since she was still in front of me. 

“Surprise!” Bailey yelled while shaking her hands, standing on the other side of the open door. 

Michael stood holding the door open, unsure what to do. 

“That’s not until later,” Y/N snapped with fists clenched. 

Bailey’s eyes landed on Y/N and I could easily see the way her jaw ticked. “What are you doing here?” 

“Excuse me?” She scoffed.

Bailey pushed past Y/N towards me, trying to rest her hands on my chest; an action I quickly brushed away.

“Wh-what are you doing here?” I asked dumbfounded. 

Her brows furrowed. “I thought maybe we could talk.” 

Bailey’s breath had a lingering scent of alcohol and I scrunched up my nose in disgust. She was a fucking mess; this whole thing was a fucking mess that I needed to rid myself and everyone else of. 

I peered over her shoulder towards Michael and Y/N, whose eyes burned straight into my own; she was furious. 

Angel- my angel. She was going to be so angry with me. I had to explain; fast. My feet couldn’t get to her fast enough

“Y/N-,” I began while stepping away from Bailey. 

She shook her head, ignoring my pleas as she brushed past me. “Malcolm needs my help.” 

READER

I’m angry-no, I’m furious. 

Should I be angry? Do I have the right to feel this way? It’s not like Noah and I were together. I learned quickly what Bailey’s place was. He was clearly trying to make me jealous, and it worked. 

I ripped apart a piece of tape to hand up to Malcolm who was standing on a chair to hang up the banner. 

“What’s wrong, sweets?” He asked. 

Grumbling in response to his question, I handed him another piece of tape just as Noah walked into the kitchen. 

“Angel,” he reached for my arm. “Let me explain! I ended it!” 

I ripped my elbow from his grasp to walk away from him, ready to help Jolly finish setting up the alcohol. 

“I don’t have time for this bullshit, Noah. I have to finish setting up for Chase’s party. Not talk about unwanted guests or lies.” 

His face fell. “I’m not lying. Please, can we talk?” 

Malcolm stared down at Noah from the chair with confused eyes as Jolly’s gaze bounced back and forth between us. “What’s going on?” 

“There’s nothing to talk about. Chase will be here soon,” I ignored Jolly. 

“Y/N,” Noah begged with a trembling lip as he stepped in front of me, blocking my path. “The house is already ready. We need to talk.” 

“I’m not doing this with you right now!” I spat with venom, eyes burning into his. 

“Y/N,” he tried to reach for my hands but I smacked them away. 

Jolly quickly picked up that something was wrong so after setting down the bottle of booze, he motioned for me to follow him. 

“Let’s get some air, huh?” 

Turning my back to Noah, I let Jolly lead me out of the kitchen onto their back porch, the cooling air of the afternoon immediately causing goosebumps to graze my skin; skin that Noah moments ago was touching with his lips. 

“Everything alright?”  

I began pacing, running a hand through my hair. “He lied to me, Jolly! He told me he broke things off but she’s here!” 

He shook his head. “No, Y/N, I promise you; Noah broke up with Bailey. We can all vouch for that.” 

“Then why is she here?!” I yelled with a hand extended towards the house behind him. 

“She’s here to salvage whatever she can. But that’s not on him or you,” Jolly said with his ever-calming voice. 

I swear, his accent is what always made any difficult situation easier. 

“It's just-,” I sighed while falling onto the step, Jolly immediately following me. “Every time I think Noah and I are getting somewhere, some bullshit comes up to continue to keep us apart.” 

Jolly nodded. “I can understand that, I get it. But it doesn’t have to be complicated. It really doesn’t, Y/N.” 

“Then why does this keep happening?” I blew out a shaky breath while looking up at him with tear-filled eyes. 

I was so fucking tired of the universe trying to keep Noah and me apart. I was so fucking tired of trying to be happy for more than a mere moment before something came to crash around me. 

Was I not worthy of a happy ending? After all the bullshit I’d gone through?

Jolly brushed away a stray tear, a solemn smile on his face. “Maybe the universe is-shit-I don’t know trying to humble you both first? Heal? Hell if I know, I’d kill to have that spark you two have. I don’t know shit about this, Y/N. But I do know Noah; he isn’t perfect. But he’s trying so hard to be. He also isn’t lying to you, he isn’t.”

Reluctantly, I nodded and rested my head against his shoulder. “Is it alright if I just sit here a minute with you?” 

He patted my knee. “Take all the time you need, söt.” 

“Huh?” I looked up at him. 

With a chuckle, Jolly wrapped an arm around my shoulders. “It means sweet, in Swedish. Sorry, sometimes it slips out without-.” 

“No!” I patted his knee now. “I like it.” 

With a relaxed breath, I eased into Jolly’s comforting embrace, thankful that I had so many friends to confide in when things became tough. 

MATT

So ‘distressed distraction mission fail’ was here. I chuckled to myself, my inner monologue taking over. I felt like it was closing in around me. In my mind, I was growing larger and larger, expanding with aggravation. If I say something too fast, to get myself under control, I’d explode and take the situation in my hands. 

This wasn’t my fuckin fight, I knew that. But- once again, this girl proves to me she doesn’t belong here and surely, doesn’t understand the words no.

Stop. 

Leave.

Noah ended this shit so why was she here? Dogs and fucking rabid raccoons understand basic shit better than Bailey.

I often tried to bite my tongue. I often tried to be kind when I didn’t need to be. It was important to be kind, however, not when you fuck with my family. Bailey didn’t get my message the last time. However, I knew tonight was going to be the last time she’d be around. I felt that shit in my gut.

Good fuckin riddance.

Noah was still in the kitchen and from the way Malcolm was laying into him about something, I knew he’d be held up there for a few minutes. 

I walked up to Bailey as she was sitting on Noah’s couch, a glass of wine in her hand. 

“Well, well, look what the cat dragged in.” I taunted while crossing my arms over my chest, staring down at her. 

Bailey rolled her eyes while taking a very long sip of her wine. “Matt, seriously?” 

“Yeah, seriously. Any particular reason you’re here tonight, trying to, I don’t know, ruin another gathering?” 

“I just wanted to talk to Noah,” she slurs while slowly sanding to her feet, swaying slightly. “I think we can figure things out.” 

My face scrunched in disgust. “Why don’t you sit down, no need to make a bigger fool of yourself.”

“‘M not,” the red liquid swirled in her cup as she shook her head. 

“I’m sorry but have you been blind this whole time?” I wondered.

Bailey scoffed, suddenly falling back onto the couch and spilling a few drops of wine onto the couch. “I’m not blind.” 

Fuck, if Noah wasn’t pissed with this girl before, he definitely would be now for staining his couch. 

I bent low on my knees to make direct eye contact with her. “You keep acting like it, Bailey. You should have just taken the voicemail for what it was. Noah ended it with you; it’s done. What was the point of even coming over here? Because this thing with him isn’t going to happen. You're water and Y/N is milk.” 

“What does that mean?” Bailey hiccuped, resting her head against the back of the couch. 

I peered over my shoulder to point toward Noah, who was watching Y/N directly as she walked back inside with Jolly. She didn’t bother to give Noah an ounce of attention as she was led by Jolly into the dining room. The look of hurt and yearning from Noah made my own stomach drop. His usual stoic face was void, it was evident that his emotions were coming to the surface. Noah loved Y/N with his entire essence but this woman sitting in front of me was going to ruin it. 

The hurt I felt for my friend; no, my brother made the tone in my voice turn to ice as I glared back at Bailey.

“Y/N is the fucking moon that lights his entire dark sky. Come on, stop playing stupid,” I stood to my feet and ran a hand through my hair. 

Leaving her to sulk on her own, I motioned for Malcolm to come out front with me so we could talk privately. 

NOAH

Music blasted throughout my house, the party well underway. Chase arrived about thirty minutes ago, not a hint of surprise on his face but still wore a happy smile. Somehow he managed to find out about the party, which immediately brought a sad smile to Y/N’s face; one I wished I could brush away with my thumb. 

“Ah, it’s alright sweets. I really appreciate the effort,” Chase kissed her forehead before laying a kiss on Malcolm’s lips. “Thank you, guys. I love you.” 

I tried talking to Y/N one more time before the party started but with Malcolm’s ice-cold gaze, I knew it wasn’t the right time. It would have to wait until later. 

Something else needed my attention. 

Bailey stumbled into the living room, red solo cup barely hanging between her fingers, as she was in a fit of giggles. I internally was smoldered with resentment as I watched Bailey. Rage flowed through me like lava because she came here and did this. I tried, I fucking tried.  I realized this was the consequence of my previous actions. 

However, have I not atoned? 

I apologized. I-I tried, I called Bailey and told her I couldn’t be what she wanted. I ended it. 

I knew she knew, she told me that night in the car. I had eyes for someone else. 

I couldn’t allow her to destroy what I was working towards. I tried to swallow my frustration. Angel wouldn’t even look at me- I felt like I could die right here.  I was sitting on the couch with my arms resting along the back of it, eyes watching Y/N’s every move as she talked with Davis. 

Until Bailey fell onto the couch next to me. “I-I thought I haad a driinkie for you.” 

My jaw ticked as I ran a hand over it. “Bailey, I’m sorry, but you weren’t invited.”

“Wha-what does,” she hiccuped. “That mean?”

I moved towards the other end of the couch to give us more space. “Bailey, I left you a voicemail!” 

“I haven’t checked it! I have like 20 messages,” she waved me off before drinking from her cup. 

“Bailey-.” 

A mutual friend of Orie’s came by with a tray of shot glasses, one that Bailey reached for. 

“Oh! Shots!”

Quickly, I pushed away the tray from her and dismissed the friend, stating we were fine and didn’t need anything to drink. 

“Noah!” Bailey whined while cupping my face. “Why’d youuu do that? I’m thirsty!” 

I smacked her hand away as gently as I could. “You’re drunk, Bailey. You’ve had enough.” 

She, of course, ignored me and was fast on her feet to stumble into the kitchen. “I’m gonna go get another!”

A look of great bitterness swept across my face when I approached Bailey again and attempted to get her to leave. “Bailey, let me call you an Uber. You need to go.”

“Noah!” 

She tried to push me away but ended up crashing into the kitchen counter, knocking over the vast variety of alcohol. The loud noise caught the attention of everyone around; Y/N watching Bailey with a look of disdain, never once looking into my eyes. I curbed the way my heart fell to my stomach only because I couldn’t focus on the pain. 

I needed to get Bailey out of here.

“I missed you,” she slurred while running a finger down my chest. “I miss the way you fucked me. Can we try again?” 

I threw her arms off of me as she tried to wrap them around my neck. “No, Bailey, whatever this was is finished. You need to go.”

“We need to talk right now, mother fucker,” Chase spat as he gripped my eblow to drag me to a far corner of the living room, away from prying ears. 

“Man, not now,” I ripped my arm from him. “I’m fucking busy trying to diffuse this situation.” 

“Bailey is drunk, Noah! What the fuck!” Chase ran a hand over his buzzed head. “You’re going to do this? Now? We fucking talked about this! What did I tell you? Get it together or leave my sister alone.” 

He roughly pushed my shoulder and I took a deep breath to keep myself calm. From the moment Bailey showed up tonight, I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown and there was nothing I could do to stop it; breathing be damned. 

“STOP!” I suddenly snapped, earning a few stares from people around us. 

Nick R. went to step forward as he leaned against the wall with Nadia but I was quick to wave him off. I refused to ruin their night. His girlfriend was in town for the first time in a long time so the last thing they needed was to deal with my drama. 

“Fuck!” I spoke. “I did! I fucking broke it off, it’s over! Bailey just fucking showed up! And I’d hate for her to drive and die. I do not need that shit on my conscious.” 

“Noah-,” Malcolm stepped up next to Chase.

“I swear to fucking Hades himself, if you tell me to break it off with Bailey, I will lose my shit,” I snapped, the vein in my neck twitching. 

“I’m not,” Malcolm’s voice was even, steady, almost a low whisper because he knew I was seconds away from sheer catastrophe. “Y/N’s fucking hurt, Noah.” 

“I’m-.” I couldn’t even finish my sentence before Chase snapped. 

“I know you’re fucking sorry, alright! But please for the love of fucking Neptune, get rid of her!” 

“Working on it, man,” I reminded him as I turned on my heels to head back into the kitchen but came to a sudden halt. 

Bailey was dragging a guy towards Y/N, her loud shrill voice echoing over the music. 

“Y/N! This was the friend I was talking to you about!” 

Friend? What the fuck? 

The look on Y/N’s face was one of embarrassment and awkwardness. Not many could read someone from across the room but I could. I knew exactly what Y/N was feeling without an utter from her sweet lips; her body always gave her away. 

JESSE

Oh shit, oh shit. 

If only I had known how tonight was going to go. 

Truth be told, I really wanted everyone out of my fucking house. I wanted to lock Y/N and Noah in the garage, not letting them out until they talked this shit out. Although, depending on what happens next, I might have to.

I leaned against the kitchen sink as I watched with careful eyes as Bailey approached Y/N with some guy in tow. 

“Y/N! This is the friend I was talking about! The one I wanted to introduce you to! Jared, this is Y/N.” 

My gaze snapped over to Noah just in time to see him crush the red solo cup in his hand. 

“Oh, hi. Hello,” Y/N shifted on her feet. 

“Fuck,” Jared licked his lips. “You know you’re really beautiful. You’re a model ain’t you?” 

Y/N cleared her throat. “Musician, actually.”

Something was off with this guy so without them noticing, I took a few steps closer toward Y/N, just in case she needed me to step in. 

“Wow a musician, that’s right! Bailey mentioned something about that. I have heard your band before. Souls Hollow.” Jared snapped as if he found out the answer for a million dollars.

“Hollow Souls”. 

The loud pop of Y/N’s water bottle made me jump slightly as she crushed it between her hands. 

“Right! Well, you have the face and the body for modeling if that’s something you want to get into,” Jared ran a hand through his short hair. 

“No, not my interest or my forte.”

Somehow through her drunken state, Bailey was able to feel the sudden tension and patted the guy's chest. 

“Jared, why don’t you get us a couple of drinks? I need to have some girl talk with, Y/N.” 

Girl talk?

“Girl talk?” Y/N chuckled low.

Once it was the two of them, or so Bailey thought, I leaned forward on the kitchen island to listen better. 

“You know,” Bailey threw her hair over her shoulder. “It might be good for you to blow off some aggression. He could be a good fuck.” 

“Thank you for your interest in my well-being.” Y/N scoffed, ready to end this conversation, and went to walk past her. 

“I’m just saying. I’d love to be fucked by Noah again, but he hasn’t been interested,” Bailey shrugged while leaning against the counter for support. 

Oh. Fuck. 

Y/N turned swiftly on her heels with a look of pure fury behind those eyes, the ones that drew Noah in that first meeting; something he told me many times before. I could see the hurt behind that fury though. It was clear that Bailey’s words dragged the knife deeper into her heart. But just as quickly as the hurt surfaced, Y/N was quick to close herself off by crossing her arms over her chest with wide eyes, internally going into herself. 

The shit I just heard. Bailey did that on purpose, or she was so far gone on liquor she didn’t realize what she said.

 No, it was both. Bailey came here to hurt Noah, that was obvious.

Daring a glance over to Y/N, I felt my stomach drop at what I saw. While it wasn’t easy for me to read her face all the time, that look was something I’d seen on Noah’s face one too many times. 

She was passed beyond the point of disassociation. 

Silence. 

Y/N was silent. The calm before the storm. 

“Shit, Noah.” I quietly said under my breath as I nearly sped to him. 

He was sitting on the edge of the couch, elbows resting on his knees as they bounced wildly. Even with me approaching him with a fury, Noah’s eyes never left the two women behind me. 

“Noah!” I waved my hand in front of his face. “Noah!” 

“Not now man,” he waved me off, still not looking up at me. 

Following his gaze, my shoulders slumped when I noticed that Jared had returned to Y/N and was trying to hand her a drink; one that she kept refusing.

Noah’s fists were balled tightly underneath his chin, his chest unmoving as if his breath was caught in his throat.

“Yes, now! Fuck, Noah. I need to tell you something.” 

Before I could sit down, Bailey barreled her way past me onto the couch to plop down next to Noah, resting her head on his shoulder. 

“Oh, don’t they look perfect together? I’d say I’m a great fucking matchmaker. Heaven knows she needs to get laid. She’s been so uptight since I’ve met her.” 

Mother fucker. 

All this time and Bailey still couldn’t read the fucking room. 

NOAH

I shifted my body away from Bailey, her head falling away from my shoulder, as I glared at her. 

“What did you just say?” I was eerily calm even though my heart was in my ears. 

Bailey did her best to fix her hair, trying to make herself presentable. “Y/N looks so good with Jared! I’m so glad I set them up. It seemed like she’d been so lonely since the break up with Trey.” 

Jesse sat next to me. “Noah-.” 

Ignoring him, I kept my hard gaze on the mess of Bailey. “Why do you insist on bringing that asshole up in every conversation?” 

“Why does her love life bother you so much, No-O-ah.” She hiccuped then let out a low belch, the smell rancid.

It disgusted me.

I was beginning to see slight parallels with this. Trey, Bailey, Trey Bailey. Drowning their demons. Once again confirming I will not be like this. I won’t become them. My demons won’t swim.

“Why can’t you mind your own fucking business? You don’t know shit about her or any of us. You think you do because of things you read on a blog?” 

Fuck, Bailey was getting inside my skin and I wanted to scratch it away until it bled. I chewed roughly on the inside of my cheek, doing whatever I could to keep my anger under control. I couldn’t make a scene in front of everyone because of Bailey. 

She took a large gulp of her wine and lazily shrugged. “Trey was a big part of Y/N’s life; I can understand that.”

Jesse reached past me to grab the glass of wine from her since she almost dropped it because of her weak grip. The sound of glass clanking on the table in front of me was a white noise in my ears. 

“Oh, Jo-O-lly,” Bailey whined with a hiccup. “You’re no fun.” 

“Jesse,” he corrected.

She ignored him with a wave of a hand towards Y/N and this friend. “Look at them. Y/N’s so into him.”

My gaze snapped over to Y/N expecting to see her all over this guy but breathed a little easier to see that there was a decent amount of space between them and her arms were crossed over her chest. 

She was closing herself off from the conversation but ever the sweetheart, Y/N couldn’t find the way to end it.

“Hopefully, they’ll fuck. I mentioned to Y/N that we did as girl talk, so maybe she finally will too!” 

My eyes doubled in size as my head whipped back to her, heart now leaping out of my fucking throat. All the noise around me fell away, the only thing I could hear was two words. 

You’re fucked.  

“You fucking told her we had sex?” I spat through clenched teeth. 

“It was girl talk, Noah. You’re freaking out about nothing,” Bailey rolled her eyes. 

Terror washed over me because there was absolutely no fucking way she told Y/N. 

“She did. I was right there,” Jesse informed, almost as if he could read my mind. 

The fine hairs at the back of my neck rose as the anger now ran through me in waves. 

Bailey told her. She fucking told her. 

Fuck!

My hands raked through my hair, ripping it from the low bun, and I vibrated with rage. 

I should have told Y/N right after it happened. I shouldn’t have let it drag on this long. It would have hurt coming from me, yes, but now that Bailey was the one to tell her, I knew it was eating away inside of Y/N. 

Idiot. 

Idiot. 

Asshole. 

Fucking bitch. 

My heart continued to pound rapidly in my ears. I wanted to scream; the sudden shock made my muscles tense. Innate fear was instinctive and hard-wired into my brain.

This kept fucking happening. Every time I thought Y/N and I were getting somewhere, something fucking came crashing into it. How did we go from almost kissing upstairs in my bedroom to now? She ignored me as another man was practically drooling at the sight of her. 

Mine. She’s mine. She’s always been mine. 

This feeling that burned low in my gut involved a fight-or-flight response triggered by a perceived threat; Bailey. 

I hated myself more than I had in a long time. 

A sudden thought crossed my mind which made me blow out a shaky breath. Was I the threat?

No. I broke it off. 

Fuck this.

“Oh,” Bailey’s voice was sad. “I hope Jared won't mind Y/N’s scar, though. I never had the chance to warn him.”

“Excuse me?” I fumed, nostrils flaring. 

How she continued to misread the room appalled me. 

“Well, I noticed her scar during the pool day. It’s a nasty one. I can't believe she deals with that endo bullshit,” Bailey sympathized. 

“Endometriosis,” I corrected but then shook my head with the sudden realization. “How do you know about that?” 

“Why does it matter, Noah?” She shifted uncomfortably. 

The only people who knew about Y/N’s scar beside herself were Malcolm, Chase, and me. It was a very sore subject for her, something she didn’t want brought up. It was from a procedure she had years ago, one to remove a thin layer of tissue that lined her uterus to help with her heavy bleeding. 

I never noticed the scar however during our night together. My mind was elsewhere. I never paid attention to that, it could have been a stretch mark for all I knew. I was a little too occupied tasting her to care. So enamored in her, so thankful just to have every inch of her at all that night that I didn’t see it as an imperfection on her. 

And I never would. 

“It fucking does matter, Bailey!” I roared. 

Jesse’s hand rested on my shoulder, his soft touch easing the rage slightly. However, out of the corner of my eye, something else caught the attention of my rage. 

Bile rose in my throat as I watched Jared’s slimy fingers graze down Y/N’s bare arm towards the silver chain on her wrist; the bracelet I bought her. He twirled it between his fingers before flicking it away with a look of distaste. Y/N yanked her arm away from him, holding her wrist close to her chest. 

My nostrils flared as my shoulders went rigid, my body going taught. Something cold and wet dripped onto my lips and the copper taste was bitter on my tongue. I could feel my increasing heart rate, the blood rushing in and out through my ears. I swallowed thickly with my dry mouth, producing no saliva. 

My clenched fists were aching, I was sure to leave half-crescent marks on my palms. My jaw was tight as if it was wired shut and my gums must have been bleeding. I could taste it in my mouth as one simple thought continued to repeat in my mind. 

Destroy. He’s touching what’s yours. 

I could do it, it’d be so easy. 

This piece of shit dared to look at something I gave Y/N with distaste and it made me bare my teeth. 

“Fuck, Noah. Are you alright?” Jesse’s concern brought me back from seeing red. “Your nose is bleeding.”

I wiped my palm over my nose. “Is it?” 

Crimson smeared all over my hand. 

Fuck. 

With every step back Y/N took, this guy followed in an attempt to close the distance between them. A muscle in her jaw ticked as her brows furrowed, eyes darting around the room to look for someone. 

Chase and Malcolm were in the front yard with others playing one of the yard games Steven brought. Everyone else was scattered throughout the house which meant I was closest to her. 

Perhaps this fear of loss is only proof of my love for Y/N, one that she will always depend on. The curse is the blessing. Blessed with a curse. Love is tough, but I’m tough enough. I needed to get to Y/N and get to her now.

Bolting to my feet, I moved like lighting and did not listen to Jesse’s protests as I reached Y/N in a few wide strides. 

Even though she was angry at me, Y/N’s eyes lit up with relief as she saw me only for a moment. 

“Everything alright?” I asked while standing shoulder-to-shoulder with her. 

Jared motioned towards Y/N. “I’m trying to get your beautiful friend from Sollows to go out with me.”

I ground my teeth while taking a step towards him.  “It’s Hollow Souls. Hollow. Souls. You don’t even fucking know her band's name. Get the hell out of here.”

“Noah!” Y/N jeered from behind me. 

“All I’m asking for is one date, dude. She’s hard to break down to agree,” Jared shook his head. 

I stood toe to toe with this asshole, my words stone cold and stern so he understood completely. “She isn't available!”

“Really?” He scoffed while stuffing his hands in his pockets. “That’s not what your girlfriend told me. Why do you care so much about who Y/N talks to?” 

“Bailey isn’t my girlfriend; not anymore. I broke up with her days ago, it’s not my fucking problem that she can't understand it,” I reiterated for what seemed like the tenth time today. 

“Why is she here then?” Y/N muttered behind me. 

Ignoring her, I continued to stand tall in between her and Jared. 

“So again, Y/N isn’t available,” I repeated. 

“Really?” Jared chuckled. 

“Yeah, dude. Really.” 

One step closer to him. 

He outstretched his arms. “I don’t see anyone around to claim her.”

I despised the way he was talking about Y/N; someone that was mine. 

“She isn’t a fucking object,” I hissed. 

I studied him with unforgiving judgment, an icy stare bored into him, making it hard not to back away.  I gripped the glass I had in my hand. My first thought was to throw it to the floor and smash it, but I knew if I did that, I wouldn’t stop until every glass in the cupboard was in shards and Jared’s face was pushed into it. 

Violence never solved anything. I had to remind myself that this is not what I am. Not what Y/N would want. I had to keep my composure at best. I had to.

I also would never want to incite fear in Y/N. Never. I knew she wasn’t into him, but I couldn’t help but notice sleazy Jared letting his eyes roam her entire body, as much as she tried to hide herself away. His eyes went to her exposed legs, the colorful and detailed drawings on her right one. 

 I didn’t like that. 

Y/N’s smooth skin. Her perky, round, and full chest was probably what caught Jared’s attention in the first place. At this moment, he became just another enemy. But nobody, not even him, was going to try and take Y/N away from me. Not when she was mine. I wanted her all for myself.

I inhaled and exhaled so harshly; like a fucking  bull ready to charge

“I’m not saying she is an object. All I’m saying is-.”

“Yeah, I know what you’re fucking saying,” I barked “And I’m telling you Y/N isn’t available. She’s with me.” 

Jared snickered. “If that’s the case then why did she spend the last ten minutes talking to me.” 

“I’m right fucking here!” Y/N screamed while pushing past me to now step between us. “Stop acting like I’m not!” 

Jared went to reach for her which prompted me to wrap an arm around her shoulder, ready to lead her away. 

“We need to talk; let’s go upstairs,” I begged with wide eyes. 

She hastily removed my arm from her. “No, fuck you! I have nothing to say to you. This conversation is over.” 

“The hell it is,” I snapped while running my hands through my hair. “This isn’t over until we talk into the light. Please, angel. Let's go upstairs.” 

Y/N pushed my chest. “Oh, you want to talk now? You’re bored with Bailey so yet again, I’m your second option?”

Jared shifted on his feet. “Am I missing something here?”

I glared at him over my shoulder. “Yeah, none of this concerns you. Fuck off.”

“Noah!” Y/N chastised. “STOP IT!” 

My head snapped back to her. “No, don’t Noah me. We need to talk! Without this asshole.” 

“Fuck you, man!” 

Jared went to reach for me but I was a hair faster than him, pushing him back into the kitchen island. By now, our little argument caught the attention of almost everyone in the house, and the music ceased, an eerie silence falling around us. 

“Don’t you ever put your fucking hands on me or Y/N.” I seethed, my chest rising and falling with each deep breath.  

So many different gazes burned into me but I didn’t give a shit about the scene. The only thing I cared about was Y/N. 

“Angel, please can we-,” I turned back around just in time to see her bolt up the stairs, away from everyone. 

“Shit,” I muttered while bounding up the stairs two at a time to catch her. 

As I reached the landing upstairs, I caught her frame slipping into the bathroom but before I could reach her, the door slammed in my face. 

“Y/N,” my voice was soft as my knuckles tapped against the door. 

“Leave me alone!” She choked on a sob, it echoing through the wood

My forehead rested against the wall next to the bathroom, the rage and anger that consumed me minutes prior suddenly faded into the void, my heart only feeling one emotion; despair. I needed to feel Y/N in my embrace. I needed to console her and assure her that everything would be okay. 

We will be okay. 

“Noah, what the fuck was that man?” Davis demanded. 

Turning my body around, I leaned against the wall with pure exhaustion and ran my hands over my face; images of Jared’s hands all over Y/N were clear in the darkness. 

“He was touching her,” I chewed out. “His hands were-fuck!”

I pushed myself off the wall and began pacing up and down the hall, right in front of my bedroom. 

Davis watched with his hands on his hips. “You need to pull it together. What the fuck was that downstairs?! Why hasn’t Bailey left yet? I thought you ordered her an Uber?”

“I’ve been trying!” I snapped while coming to a halt. 

But when I saw the look on his face, I sighed while pinching my nose. “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to snap at you but I’m just so tired of being accused tonight of shit that’s out of my control. 

“It’s alright, man,” Davis reassured me. 

“Fuck, where’s Chase? Or Malcolm? Maybe they can talk Y/N out of the bathroom.” I suggested. 

“Chase is pissed. Malcolm had to hold him back to keep him from coming up here to kick your ass.” 

With my hands on the ledge, I peered over it to see that Davis was telling the truth. Malcolm had Chase pinned against the front door, arms on each side of him in a way to lock him in a makeshift cage. It helped that Malcolm was a bit bigger than Chase so he couldn’t push past him, which I was thankful for because his usual bright eyes were dark with hatred. I couldn’t hear what they were talking about up here but I knew with the way Chase pointed up at me and the vein in his forehead throbbing that it wasn’t good. Malcolm rested a hand on Chase’s cheek, the latter immediately relaxing in the former’s touch.

“I never meant for this to happen,” I blew out a shaky breath, doing my best to keep my tears at bay. 

It wasn’t fucking fair. I did everything right so why was it coming back to bite me in the ass?

“I know,” Davis stepped up beside me to lay a hand on my shoulder. “I fucking know this is killing you right now. But you have to move past this. Y/N doesn’t deserve this side of you. And frankly, neither do you.” 

“I know I said I can wait for years if I have to, Davis. But fuck, I want us right now! I can’t see anything else but Y/N.  I want her with me! I want all of her forever. It’s her and me I-.” 

A sob crawled its way out of my throat.  "I want all of her. Forever.” 

“It’s okay, Noah,” he rubbed my back in smoothing circles. “It may not seem like it right now but I promise you, it will be okay.” 

The soft click of the bathroom sounded loud in the hallway upstairs but when I turned towards it with a hopeful smile, it faltered when Y/N whipped past us, her hair flowing behind her in waves. 

“Angel.” 

I reached for her, only for Y/N to rip farther away from me, and retreat downstairs. 

READER

Tears fell from my eyes as I hid behind my hair, heels reaching the bottom of the stairs. While my heart beat rapidly in my chest, my mind screamed one thing in my mind over and over again. 

You need to leave. Get out. Get out. 

I looked around with frantic eyes for Chase and Malcolm, knowing that I wasn’t in the best state of mind to drive. By now, the vast group of people that came for the party had dispersed only leaving our small group of friends. Instead, my gaze locked with Nick R’s and I nearly sobbed at the sight of him. I needed some sort of comfort from someone and it didn’t matter who it was; as long as it wasn’t Noah. 

Before I could make my way over towards Nick R., a vice grip wrapped around my elbow to spin me around. 

“You couldn’t stay away, could you?!” Bailey’s nails dug into my skin. 

I hissed. “What the fuck is wrong with you?!” 

“Noah could have moved on with me! I could have made him so happy!” Her words slurred together, the heavy stench of alcohol on her breath. “But no, every time I was with him, there you were! You couldn’t fucking leave him alone!” 

The tears tasted bitter on my tongue. “Excuse me?”

Bailey chuckled dryly, barely able to keep herself up on two feet.  “You’re his fucking ghost. You’re here all the time. It’s a good thing I showed up tonight. I followed my gut. But I don’t know what hurts worse; you and Noah sneaking around behind my back or-.” 

“We-.” 

She stuck up a finger to hush me. “Behind my back or you both lying about your feelings for each other to my face. You’ve been in love this whole fucking time and I was only a pawn in this story.”

I slowly shook my head, suddenly feeling guilty. It was true, even though we didn’t want to admit it, but she was a pawn. An innocent person caught in the crossfire of a tangled mess of soulmates. 

“Bailey.”

“No!” She screamed with her own tears. “What also hurts is that I can’t blame you! I can’t! But I truly don’t know how you’re going to be able to give him anything he needs.” 

Pure venom filled her eyes; a snake ready to snap at its prey. “I-I don’t-I know everything and I can’t help but feel sorry for you. I know how hard it will be for you to have a child. How do you think Noah feels about that? You’re taking away his chance of having a family, any chance of normalcy!” 

I nearly stumbled back, being smacked in the face with her words, and I blinked rapidly at her. “Wh-How do you know?” 

Bailey ignored me by throwing up her hands. “So take him! Noah is all yours. You two fucking deserve each other.”

My eyes now sliced into her. “How the fuck do you know about that, Bailey?”

“He’ll never love me like he loves you, and it’s selfish of you to keep throwing him away.” She yet again avoided my question. “He wouldn’t touch me, never. Especially when you were around. Only that one time but all he thought about was you.”

“I’m not! You don’t know a fucking thing! Noah doesn’t love me! He doesn’t.” I bellowed as loud footsteps came running down the steps. 

Noah’s frantic face pleaded for me to stay, to listen, but I refused; I was done with this entire day and wanted to leave. 

“I’m leaving,” I said, turning on my heels. 

“Angel, please wait!” Noah reached for me, yet again.

“Hang on,” Bailey stepped in front of him, blocking his path to me. “Y/N is Angel?” 

I didn’t bother hearing the excuse Noah came up with. My only path was the front door where Nick R. stood, waiting for me with it wide open.

Somewhere an hour outside of Cheston, South Carolina in a nursing home, a resident named Duke was so enamored with the elderly woman that sat beside him. He read to her every day about a story of love, loss, and the power to fight for love.

“Did they love each other?” The woman asks, brushing away the graying strands of her hair.

Duke closed the book and smiled. “They didn’t agree on much. In fact, they didn’t agree on anything. They fought all the time and challenged each other every day. But despite their differences, they had one important thing in common. They were crazy about each other.”

The older lady rested deeper into her chair, a faint smile on her lips.“I like these kinds of stories,” 

“Yeah? Me too.” Duke smiled at her and set the book on the table in front of them. “Somewhere out there, I’m sure this exists. It did for me.”

THIRD PERSON POV

“Leave me alone!” Y/N screamed over her shoulder to Noah who was following on her heels. 

He let her walk away so many previous times and he was done letting the cycle continue. 

“You’re not leaving!” Noah ordered, his voice echoing into the night air. 

Chase and Malcolm, who were sitting on the front porch, watched the entire scene unfold in front of them. Chase wanted to intervene, still reeling from what happened before the party ended but Malcolm held him in place with a hand on his knee, giving it a reassuring squeeze. 

“They need to figure this out on their own, Chase. We can’t keep helping them.” 

Davis and Matt also wanted to intervene as they watched through the large window in the living room. They wanted to help, but even they shook their heads. 

“This is it. The dam broke and it’s about fucking time,” Matt said while leaning against the wall next to the window. 

“Let them hash it out. This is going to be cathartic for both of them.” Davis said while peaking through the curtains. 

Steven almost popped out of nowhere with a sigh. “Here we go.” 

Suddenly, the dark sky above cracked with a bright light, rain immediately falling from the clouds and soaking Noah and Y/N as they continued their stare off in his driveway. 

“Have you been paying attention to anything happening?!” Y/N accused, wet strands of hair clinging to her face. 

“No, I guess not!” Noah retorted back. “I must have misread every fucking signal!” 

“Guess you did!” Y/N scoffed while turning back on her heels, the loud clicking being muted by the sounds of the onslaught of rain and thunder. 

When she opened the door to her car, Noah was quick to slam it shut. “You’re bored! You know it and we wouldn’t keep doing this if something wasn’t missing! But you don’t fucking get it!” 

“Get what?” Y/N questioned while trying to open the door again. 

Noah slammed it shut again, not allowing her to leave.  “WHY?! Why am I not worthy?” 

As he screamed those words a few more times, his despair was heard by everyone inside the house who watched with broken eyes, the yellow hue of the street lamp casting him in his own angelic aura. 

Y/N’s lips mimicked a fish out of the water, despite being drowned under the rain

“This whole fucking thing of hot and cold with you!  You’re being a pain in the ass!” Noah rested his arm on the top of her car, bright eyes burning into hers. 

Her eyes bulged out of her head and she gave a hard shove to his chest. “Excuse me? You arrogant son of a bitch, you tell me all this shit! I sit there and tolerate this distraction of yours, who sits there and tells me little theories and fucking intrusive bull shit. She pries into parts of my life; parts she shouldn’t know!” 

Noah’s face softened, immediately knowing what Y/N was referring to. “I didn’t tell her, Y/N. I swear to Hades, I didn’t tell Bailey about your endometriosis.”

“Then how does she know? It’s not public knowledge!”

He tried to reach for her but Y/N pushed him away with yet another hard shove. “Don’t fucking touch me!” 

Chase went to bolt outside into the onslaught of the storm to protect his sister but Malcolm was quick to bring him back inside. Unfortunately, this wasn’t their fight anymore. It was up to Noah and Y/N. 

“Angel, please,” Noah begged with a trembling lip. “Come back inside so we can talk about this.” 

Y/N ripped her hands through her hair. “There’s nothing to talk about, Noah! Don’t you get it?! We keep running in circles with no positive outcome. I can’t keep doing this. I can’t.” 

They both were drenched, limbs shivering from the cold wind and rain, but neither of them made the first move to falter; to end this fight. 

“Stop acting like I don’t care about you; about us!” Noah snapped. 

“I never said you didn’t! If anything I felt the same way you fucking idiot! I-I’m-.” 

The words died from her lips, unable to finish her sentence due to the fear of Noah not feeling the same. 

“You what?” He urged while taking a step towards her. 

Y/N wildly shook her head as her make up ran down her face, staining her cheeks and neck in mascara. 

“I-I can’t.” Y/N pressed her palm into her forehead. 

“Yes, you can,” Noah licked his lips in anticipation. “Fuck, Y/N! YOU WHAT?!”

“I’m in love with you! Okay?! I fucking love you.” Y/N turned on her heels to walk down the driveway but stopped, quickly turning to Noah. 

Everyone inside the house gasped, all looking at each other. 

“Did she?” Folio wondered. 

Malcolm had a hint of a smile on his lips. “Yeah, she did.” 

“You always just pretend that everything is fine when it’s not!” She pointed a firm finger at him.  “Then you stand there and have the right to say I’m the pain in the ass? Fuck you, Noah! I’m so tired of you pretending that you don’t have feelings for me.” 

Noah’s eyes widened with furrowed brows and his jaw slacked. “You-You-’re-wait!”

He shook his head in disbelief but then confusion etched over the features of his face. “I’m pretending? I’ve been trying to tell you for months! But I don’t know how to do any of this, okay? These feelings are new for me and I don’t know how to deal with them!”

“This isn’t going to work,” Y/N sobbed while holding her arms close to her chest, whether it was due to the cold or to protect herself from the feelings, no one but her was sure. 

Noah gapped at her. “We haven’t even started anything! And I’m fucking sorry about everything and Bailey! I’m so fucking sorry! I should have never even walked into the record shop that day. My head was a mess after seeing your instagram post and I lost it.” 

“Wait,” Y/N shook her head. “What Instagram post?” 

Noah ran a hand on the back of his neck. “The one you posted in Japan. I-I thought you found someone there that could get you actual ramen.” 

Y/N couldn’t help but internally snicker at that but the anger and hurt she felt outweighed that glimmer of humor. 

“So you dated someone because you misunderstood a fucking Instagram post?!” She pushed Noah once again. 

However this time, he grasped her hands so she couldn’t pull away. He held them against the beating pulse underneath his soaked shirt. 

They were exactly alike. In every aspect. Mannerisms, interests, and their souls were the same. Which is why they always seemed to find their way back to one another, no matter the outcome. 

“Just fucking stay with me, Y/N! Stay till the morning and we can figure this shit out. Please,” Noah begged with trembling lips. 

“Stay with you?” Y/N pushed away then pointed between them. “Look at us, Noah! All we’ve been doing is bickering and fighting!” 

“Well that’s what we do. We fight. You tell me when I am being an arrogant son of a bitch and I tell you when you’re being a pain in the ass. Which you are, 99 percent of the time. I’m not afraid to hurt your feelings. You have like a 2 second rebound rate, then you’re back doing the next pain-in-the-ass thing!”

By now, the rain was a terrental down pur, branches of the trees swaying widely in the wind as the sky cracked loudly with lightning and thunder; it shook both Y/N and Noah to their bones. 

“So what?” Y/N scoffed. “Why does it matter to you?”

“Because I fucking love you, angel!” Noah blurted out. 

He planned on telling her how he really felt from the moment the feelings clawed their way to the surface but something always managed to get in the way of it. But here, now, outside his house with all of their friends watching, he admitted it to her. 

And he’d spend the rest of his days shouting from the rooftops his love for his angel. 

“This shit is hard for me. I’m being vulnerable, but fuck, man” Noah pinched the bridge of his nose, inhaling and exhaling his breaths; like Dr. Poulos had told him to do so. 

Y/N gazed up at him with a fixed gaze unable to move. “What?” 

The onlookers had their ears peeled to their spots, doors and open cracks of the windows.

“Oh thank the gods.” Michael breathed out

“Fuck!” A low clap from Jesse.

Noah stood no less than a few inches apart from Y/N and his arms fell to his sides. 

“I love you! I’ve loved you since I heard your fucking voice for the first time through my Ipod that night on Nick’s couch. The first day of the tour when I got off that bus.” 

Y/N’s bottom lip quivered. “You love me too?” 

“Yes, angel. I want all of you, you and me! Will you do something for me, please? Just picture your life for me? Five, ten years from now. What does it look like? If it’s not with me then, go. Go!” 

Noah smacked the hood of Y/N’s car. “I lost you once. Shit, twice. I think I can do it again. If I thought that’s what you really wanted. But don’t you take the easy way out.”

Chase, yet again bolted up from his spot from in front of the window, ready to run outside to protect his sister but now it was Nick R. who stopped him. 

“Move,” Chase spat through gritted teeth. 

Nick R. shook his head with a stern face. “We can’t intervene anymore. This has to be between them and them alone.” 

“He’s getting violent! Noah just punched her car!” Chase yelled, not bothering the sleeping drunk on the couch behind him. 

Nick R. stood his ground. “We all know that Noah would never put his hands on Y/N.” 

Reluctantly, Chase nodded with a long sigh. “I know, I know. He might be your brother but she’s my sister. I’m just tired of seeing the same scene unfold between them.” 

Malcolm gently reached for Chase’s hand and brought him back to the far corner they were seated in. 

A loud crack of thunder made Y/N jump closer towards Noah, who instinctively reached for her but held back, not wanting to push her farther than she could handle. 

“What easy way, Noah? This isn’t easy!” Y/N sighed. “None of this is easy!” 

“No it is, actually.” Noah nodded. “Don’t think about anyone or anything else. What do you want from me? What do you want, angel?”

She rapidly shook her head, choking on a sob. “It’s not that simple.”

“What. Do. You. Want?” Noah enunciated every word with a pound fist to his chest. 

When Y/N remained silent, Noah grasped her face to bring her into his warm embrace, even with the rain. “God damn it! What do you want?”

Her eyes darted between Noah’s and her bottom lip caught between her teeth. He watched as she swallowed thickly, anxiously awaiting her answer. 

“I think-,” Y/N stumbled over her words. “I need to clear my head right now.”

Noah’s shoulders drop, disappointment clear on his face. “Are we doing that? Are we back there? What about everything we feel? What about everything that happened hours ago and beyond that. It happened, you know. They’re going to keep fucking happening. We belong together, Y/N.”

The grip on her cheeks tightened, his thumb brushing away the tears or rain, he couldn’t tell, from her cheeks only smearing her make up even more. 

“No! I don’t want to go back there. Noah,” she shook her head the best she could in his tight grasp. “I-I need to grasp all of this! But there’s one thing I know for sure; it’s always been you, Noah.” 

The crushing weight around his heart lifted at hearing her words. Noah’s thumb brushed along her cheek bone. 

“I can stay away if you want me to, but I don’t want to. I know you don’t want me to,” he whispered. 

Y/N whimpered while holding onto his wrists with a tight grip. “I love you, Noah. It was never really over for me.”

“It wasn't over and it still isn’t over,” Noah declared while crashing his lips to hers, locking her into place against her car with his hips. 

Moving fast, sensual, soft and moist and hot and breathy, not trying to win a battle but seeking union and closeness and the sharing of one breath. One sensation. One timeless and passionate moment. Their hearts were electric as the familiar scars faded with their lips upon each other.

The heat rose in Y/N cheeks as her tongue touched Noah’s, quick and electric and delicious, then firmer, more determined. More curious about the heat that lay within, seeking to chase down that elusive liquid lightning that reached through both of them. 

His hands were so soft despite the callous’ on his fingertips. Holding her face so delicately but with pressure.

The others in the house felt as if they should look away, however, given the rollercoaster they were on, they earned a peek at what their inner hearts also yearn for.

Noah’s hips pressed deeper into Y/N and he swallowed her moan, drinking in every part of her that he craved all this time. Her hands tangled through the strands of his hair, secretly reveling at the length. There wasn’t a doubt in her mind that Noah could pull off any haircut but deep down, she was thankful that the moment she met him, his hair cascaded to his back in glorious dark waves. 

She pulled on the lapels of his leather jacket to bring him closer, her teeth grazing over his bottom lip. 

“Angel,” he moaned into her mouth. 

“Mochi,” she breathed when his cock pressed against her heated core. 

The storm suddenly ceased as soon as their lips met, thunder and lightning no longer. 

There was a commotion coming from inside the house, one that went unnoticed by the two forms molding together; their souls connecting in a way that they so desperately needed.  

“Noah!”

He pulled away from Y/N, hands still on her face and lips parted, drops of the rain falling into his mouth. One more quick kiss upon those bruised lips, he looked up towards Jesse. 

“You have to deal with Bailey.” He said with a stern face. “Now.”

Cursing under his breath, Noah looked back to Y/N. “Don’t leave, alright? Give me a few minutes to deal with her. But I promise, we’re going to finish this.” 

Y/N sniffled while wiping away the rain and make up from her face, giving him a slow nod. 

With one final peck, savoring the sweet taste on her lips, Noah bounded up  the yard with Jesse in tow. However, Nick R. met him half way. 

“I know,” Noah held up his hand. “I’m dealing with it now.” 

“Good,” Nick R. nodded. “Because Bailey locked herself in the bathroom and won’t leave until you talk to her.

However, unbeknownst to Jesse and Noah who slipped back inside, Bailey managed to exit through the back door unseen. She had her gaze on one person, making a beeline towards her. 

“Like I said, you can’t stay away from him!” Bailey screamed. 

Y/N was touching her lips softly, as she remembered the kiss, but looked towards Bailey as she stormed into her. Nick R. was ready to head back inside with the rest of them but as soon as he saw Bailey push Y/N into her car, he quickly changed his path. He couldn’t leave the two of them alone, not when Bailey was drunk and actions were unknown. 

NICK R

I hung back off to the side but not too far as I watched Bailey and Y/N finally have words with each other. 

“You ruined everything!” Y/N brushed Bailey off of her, standing her ground. “This party was for Chase but you couldn’t handle your fucking booze as usual and had to run your mouth!”

“All you had to do was stay away! Why couldn’t you let Noah be happy?” Bailey accused. 

Oh, please. The only time the last time I’d seen Noah happy was when he was with Y/N. 

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Y/N scoffed with a dry chuckle. “You were the one that was brought into something you couldn’t understand.” 

Something flashed in Bailey’s eyes which made me stand taller in attention. I’ve read the signs. I’ve heard them before. That’s what Bailey didn’t understand. This wasn’t a fling, or a feeling of empty love lost. This was something created by a force no one was sure existed. This wasn’t anyone’s intention. They can’t be apart for too long, the anguish will swallow them whole.

When passion generates within the relationship flows into other areas of life. Bailey disrespected my friend. My best friend’s other half. That just wouldn’t do. 

She could yell, scream, and curse the ground Y/N walked on. It wouldn’t change anything. It will never change the course this is. 

It’s always Noah and Y/N.

“You want to talk about things you don’t understand? You’re delusional if you think your band can hack it without Trey. He was probably in his right mind to leave and do his own thing.” 

Fuck. 

I gazed over towards Y/N and my stomach fell at the broken expression on her face. 

Bailey continued her onslaught, not caring how deep her words were cutting. Noah told me months ago how fucked up Trey was and how long it took Y/N to over come how far he dug himself into her mind. 

“You guys want to be innovative! And be the next big thing but guess what, you’re just going to fall on your face. I got news for you, next time I see your record? Clearance it goes.” 

Y/N took a step forward which in turn made me reach and arm out to keep the space. Her eyes flashed to mine but with a curt nod from me, I allowed her to continue what she was going to say. 

“You don’t know shit about my life or my music,” she hissed with venom. “What, because you read some blogs online and work in a music shop you think you know what’s best?”

Bailey tossed her hair over her shoulder. “I don’t need to know the little details. I know just enough to know you’re never going to make it and you’re gonna ruin Noah’s life.”

“News flash Bailey,  I’ve already fucking made it. With or without Trey, Hollow Souls is where it’s at because of me.” 

Y/N stabbed a finger into her own chest and I couldn’t help the proud smile that played on my lips. 

“And it will continue to thrive because of me. And Malcolm. And chase. Not some girl's opinion who thinks she knows everything because she’s been in our inner circle for all of two months.” 

Bailey opened her mouth to retort but Y/N pushed past my arm so she could get right into her face. 

“I would rather chew concrete than ruin Noah’s life. I love him, I’ve loved him for a long fucking time and fuck you for thinking I’m going to allow you or anyone to intervene. Never again.” 

With a hand on Y/N’s lower back, I motioned towards the house. “Bailey, I think you’re done here. 

All the fight that Bailey had left in her seemed to falter and reluctantly, she turned to retreat back into the house. To do what, it didn’t matter to me. I needed to make sure Y/N was alright. 

“Hey,” I finally forced her to look at me. “Are you alright?” 

“Uh,” she let out a shaky breath while wrapping her arms around herself, shivering. “No. I’m not. It’s been a shit night.” 

“Do you want me to see if Nadine has some clothes for you? Get you out of those wet clothes?” I offered. 

Y/N shook her head. “No, it’s alright. I think I’m going to leave.” 

My stomach dropped for Noah, knowing that he wished for her to stay. But I wouldn’t force Y/N to stay. But what I could do was give her some sense of reassurance. 

“You want to know something cheesy? Something- a little too cliche?” I asked.

“What’s that?” Y/N sniffled with a slight chuckle 

I leaned against the car next to her, both of us staring up at the sudden clear sky; stars sparkling upon us. 

“The reason why it hurts so much is because your souls are connected.”

“Nicholas-.” Y/N started. 

I turned towards her now.  “No. No, I’ve been studying up on things like this, purely out of fun; Well, interest? Maybe genuine boredom but that detail doesn't matter. I’ve watched you both for a while now and it’s clear the two of you were always meant to find one another. I thought this kind of shit only existed in books. Turns out, I’ve watched it happen to my best friend. Noah found you. You’re his other half.” 

She sobbed quietly. “And he’s mine.”

“Yeah,” I nodded with a smile. “He fucking smiles with you, you know. He laughs with you. You mean everything to him. I’ve known this kid since he was 12-.” 

“Did Noah put you up to this?” Y/N questioned.

I shook my head. “No he didn’t tell me to talk to you but as his brother I needed to.”

“I just need-I need a space from this right now, just to get my head together.” Y/N said after a few beats of silence. 

I had some reservations about that, ones that I  made clear as I opened her car door for her, letting her drop in with a huff of a breath. 

“It didn’t work out so well the last time you two had space. So please don’t wait too long, Y/N. One friend to another,  I’m begging you, please, don’t break him. You both love each other. Noah can’t stay away from you and you can’t either.” 

“I know, Nick, I know. I love him, I- just-,” she rested against her head rest.

I lent in her car to start it, quickly turning on the heat, before leaning over the open door once again. 

“Work on your record. Get all this angst out. But don’t make him wait forever,” I said.

“It won’t be, I promise,” Y/N smiled up at me. It was weak and faint but it was there. “Can you tell him I had to go but we’ll talk soon.” 

I buckled her seatbelt, making sure she was safe. “I will. I’ll let Malcolm and Chase know you left too.” 

“Thank you, Nicholas.” 

“Oh Y/N?” I hesitated before shutting the door. 

Broken but hopeful eyes stared up at me. “Hm?” 

“The album release- we’re only a few songs away from mixing and mastering. It’s almost done. Keep an eye out of those deets,” I pointed a playful finger at her.

She smiled again, this time large and bright. “Noted.”

I stood with my hands in my pockets as I watched her pull out of the driveway, giving one final wave as she turned down the block. With a deep breath, I focused my attention on another friend that needed my help. I know that he was dealing with a huge issue inside and he needed to know the truth. 

As I stepped back inside the house, it didn’t surprise me to see that everyone in our inner circle had filled the kitchen as they watched the scene of Noah and Bailey unfold in front of them. 

Chase went to rise to his feet from the kitchen island but I assured him with a tigh smile. 

“She’s okay. She went home,” I mouthed.

That eased Malcolm and Chase only slightly as they went back to watching this mess unfold.

Bailey looked my way but my eyes were locked on Noah and I could see he was one more blow away from breaking. 

It’s intervention time. 

I knew where Noah was headed and it wasn’t good. Bailey let into him, and had no qualms on what she said to Y/N.

If looks could kill.

No scratch that. If Noah could change into a werewolf I think he would. The rage he held in his shoulders was proof enough. 

NOAH

I felt that rage burning low in my gut again as Bailey stood in front of me. I wanted to kick her out, have her find her own way home, but the good part of me knew that it wasn’t right. She was drunk and it was late, something could happen to her and I couldn’t have that on my conscience. Thankfully while I was outside with Y/N, Matt called Bailey an Uber that was minutes away. 

A few more words and this whole mess would be done and over with. 

“Bailey, you need to tell Noah what you said to Y/N,” Nick said as he came up next to me. 

My eyes snapped up from the old, worn, floors and up to her face. “What is he talking about?” 

She shifted on her feet with hesitation before she explained every mean and hurtful thing she told Y/N tonight; no ounce of regret on her face. 

“How could you say that to her?” I snapped while running a wild hand through my hair. “Why?! You think you know everything but you don’t know a fucking thing. My god, you were one of my biggest mistakes. You need to get the fuck out of my house and life. I’m serious.” 

Except, she ignored me and rested her hands on her hips. “Y/N is Angel?” 

My brow furrowed. “Why the fuck does that matter?” 

“Uh,” Bailey hesitated, fidgeting with her nails. “I thought that’s what you called me because when I saw the contact in your phone-.” 

“What the fuck,” I doubled back, head swirling in disbelief. “You went through my phone?”

A low whistle sounded from the kitchen but I didn’t have to look to see that it came from Matt. 

Betrayal dug its knife deeper into my chest. 

“I-I-just wanted to see what you were hiding-,” Bailey stammered. “I looked through your phone. I had this feeling you were hiding something from me. I thought it was my name but the texts didn’t match up.” 

Suddenly, the little light bulb in my head clicked on. 

“That’s how you know about Y/N’s endometriosis. You saw the group chat with me, Malcolm, and Chase?” 

Bailey remained silent, only nodded to give me an answer. 

“What the fuck, Bailey?! You know how private I am but yet you still went through something of mine!” I began to pace the room, running a hand over my face. 

“I heard the voicemail, Noah! I just thought if we talked it out- I don’t know. We could work it out,” Bailey blew out a shaky breath. 

I came to a halt in front of her. “There’s nothing to work out, Bailey. We're done; finished. You never should have been in the picture to begin with. 

“Noted,” she nodded. “It’s Y/N, isn’t it? It’s always about her! I knew it. I should have followed my gut!” 

A look flashed across her face. “You’ve thought about her..with me didn’t you?” 

Everyone’s eyes landed on me like a burning itch to the back of my neck. 

“Bailey,” I sighed, suddenly done with this conversation.  

“She’s the one, isn’t she?” Bailey questioned, all the anger gone from her eyes and voice. 

There was no use in denying the truth any longer. Y/N and I confessed our love for each other, it was time everyone else knew about it. Although, I’m sure they already did. 

When I finally nodded to Bailey, it hit like a ton of bricks. She said those things, she uttered them. She spit at the face my soul was intertwined with. 

I dare put my angel through this. That’s over now; never again will I put in the crossfires of someone else’s demons. This was my last battle. I could sense Bailey understood, but she wasn’t grasping with the idea that I wasn’t hers. She needed to let go.

There was something in the way I shouted at her earlier, a pain behind it. “How could you speak to her that way?” 

My heart hurt, my hand clutching my chest in anguish. It’s as if I could feel her pain physically. 

Must be a soulmate thing. 

Nicholas watched me, he watched my eyes then he knew. 

The anger was nothing but a shield for pain, like a cornered soldier randomly throwing out grenades, scared for his life, lonely, desperate. I breathed in real slowly. 

What if nothing blew up? What if Bailey just truly didn’t grasp this?

With a deep breath, I rested my hands on my hips. “Bailey. I’m sorry. I wish I could give you what you’re looking for but I can’t.”

Once again my emotions turn jagged and my insides tight.  I waited, wide eyed and heart in my mouth, hoping for kindness, when I explained this again.

“I didn’t want to hurt you. It was never my intention. I sincerely apologize,” I continued. “I fucked up and admit that. It was never supposed to get this far.  I just-I’ll never get over these feelings for her. She’s all I think about. I love her and although I'm not proud you were caught in the crossfire. I’m not sorry for who I love. It’s always her, that’s my angel.”

Finally, a hint of a smile cracked on her stone face. “I already know what this was. There’s a part of you that you kept closed off from everyone, including me. It’s as if I wasn't the one you were really with. Your mind was always on her.”

My face twitched as she cupped my cheek “Don’t let her slip away, Noah. It will be the biggest regret and I don’t want to see it destroy you.”

I gently removed her hand and nodded. “Thank you. Again, I’m sorry.” 

“I apologize for the scene I caused tonight. That wasn't mature of me. I was hurt but this wasn’t fair to any of you,” Bailey began to sober up. “I also owe a big one to Y/N.” 

“Well make sure to let her know.” 

“Uber is here,” Matt shook his phone while walking to the front door, opening it for it. 

With a tight smile, Bailey grabbed her things and quickly ran out the door. Matt, with a two finger salute, kicked the door shut and locked it for good measure. 

“Good fucking riddance,” he muttered under his breath. 

“Wait, Y/N’s still outside,” I shed off my jacket, tossing it on the railing of the staircase. “Let her in.” 

“Noah,” Nick spoke up. “She left.” 

My eyes snapped over to him, heart rate intensifying as my breathing became harsh and ragged. 

“She told me she’d stay,” I swallowed thickly. 

My ears rang with white noise as the room began to close in around me. 

“Don’t panic Noah, I spoke to her,” Nick reassured me with a hopeful smile. 

“But-,” I shook my head. 

“It’s okay. Y/N just needs to work through this. It’s a new phase Noah. You both have to get passed through some shit. You love each other. You are going to be together. Just have some hope.”

Knowing there was nothing I could do at this moment, I nodded and thought about that one word. 

Hope. 

Hope is in the way I feel like I can smile, in the way we are quiet when she can reach out with her eyes. 

Gathering strength to make a better choice, to breathe and let love have a moment to guide me, to guide us.

I knew Y/N needed a little space after this. I knew that, perhaps I needed space as well. To feel love and be loved back. 

We love each other. We love each other. 

I still had a few things I needed to work out, and I think she might too. 

Hope is in that soft shrug of hers, the playfulness of her smile. Every time we reach for the sun.

Maybe when we’re not so different, we will make amends and no longer having to pretend.

Nick’s voice was faltering as I sped up the stairs towards my bedroom where my phone was, still perfectly perched on my desk; almost as if Bailey set it back in the exact spot it was before she looked through it. 

Me: Why’d you leave?

Message Undeliverable. 

“What the fuck?” I muttered while sending another text. 

Me:  I understand you have some things to work on and so do I. But please don’t stray too far, Y/N. I’ll wait for years if I have to. 

Message Undeliverable. 

Fuck. 

There was a chance her phone was off but that didn’t deter me from stopping. 

Me: I love you. 

I breathed out a chuckle when I saw the text bubble turn blue, meaning the text went through. 

Angel 🪽: I love you too, mochi.

The corner of my lips curled up in a smile as that word echoed in my mind again. 

Hope. 

As I stood in front of the bathroom mirror shirtless and a pair of warm gray joggers, sometime after setting my phone back down, I had the scissors on one end of the counter and a buzzer on the other. A soft knock sounded on the opened door and I gave a weak smile to Folio. 

“Are you doing alright?” He questioned while leaning against the doorframe. 

“It hurts, knowing that once again there’s this space between us but the outcome is different this time around. For once, there’s hope.” 

“It’ll be okay man,” he assured me.

“I know.” 

Folio pushed himself off the door frame to hope up on the bathroom counter. “There’s no fucking universe where yall don’t end up together.”

“Thank you for your optimism,” I smiled lightly. 

"It’s true! Somehow in every universe you end up together. Whether you two are married with a son named Kenji or she joins us on the road together after the two of you spend one night together."

My heart fluttered at the sound of those alternate lives. “Kenji? Let me guess-we kick Matt’s ass in Mai tai?”

“Yes, bro!” Folio smacked my chest. “ Y/N is always meant to be there, Noah.” 

I leaned against the opposite wall. “It’s wild how thought out you have this idea of me and Y/N.” 

“Ah, I don’t know,” he shrugged with that goofy smile. “I can see it. There’s other universes out there, you know? I watched this special about it on Discovery+ or some shit.”

“That so?” I raised a brow with a chuckle. 

“Yeah, who knows. But I believe y’all will be.”

We fell in silence for a long beat before it was me who smacked his chest. "Michelle has you watching these specials, huh?”

Folio scoffed while rolling his eyes. “She barely pays attention after she asks to put it on.” 

I couldn't help but laugh, imagining Y/N snoozing on my lap after we watched another episode of I Think You Should Leave. 

“I can’t wait to have that,” I admitted. 

“In time. I promise you. I'm your friend, and I know. Take the time you both need. Heal. I’m a firm believer in patience when you’re trying to catch a good one. Trust me, I’m a fisherman,” Folio grinned while adjusting his fishing cap. 

“Fucking fishboy,” I rolled my eyes with a smile. 

 A hopeful one.

“So what’s with that?” He pointed to the scissors. 

I shrugged while holding the scissors now. “I’ve had all this weight at the back of my neck for years now. I need something new, a breath of fresh air. I’m suffocating. I need to see the back of my fucking neck, man.”  

“I’m not going to be here in case you regret that decision,” Folio patted my shoulder before jumping off the counter, leaving me alone yet again. 

With a long breath, I gathered my hair in a low ponytail, keeping it in one hand while I brought the scissors to it, the sound of chopping echoing in the small bathroom.

“Hang up my shame on display for you,” I sang low as I held up the cut ponytail in front of my face.

I shivered when a cold breeze brushed against the nape of my neck, reveling in the feeling. 

When there was no light, when there was nothing beyond the boundaries of my skin, hope was a ladder woven of heaven’s vibrations that spoke right to my healing soul. 

Hopes was a ladder that both Y/N and I could make it to the top. Because I believe it's destined in our hearts.

All I knew is that Y/N loves me back.

She fucking loves me.

[starringthesturniolos]

but its warmer in my arms- chris sturniolo

baby its cold outside part 2

summary- you and chris have a talk about why he is the way he is.

I open my eyes to see Chris, only to find his side of the air mattress was empty. His words from last night immediately come to mind.

"I could never hate you, angel, not in a million years. I'm sorry"

A thousand new question sprung up in my head. Is he telling the truth and if he is then why was he always so mean to me? But most importantly, why am I giving into him so easily?

After the way he's treated me for the past years, he shouldn't be able to hold me, hell, he shouldn't even be able to touch me. So why did I let him? And then it dawned on me. I'm in love with Chris.

That's why I hang on to every word he says. That's why his actions make or break my day. It's why his stare heats up my body, and why I enjoyed being in his arms last night.

"I'm in love with Chris." I say it out loud in complete disbelief.

"You talking to yourself dumbass?" Chris says while barging into the tent. I jump and turn around to face him. I look at him carefully to see if he heard what I said, but his nonchalant attitude says otherwise.

Anddd he's back to normal. I roll my eyes and ignore his question. "Where were you this morning?"

"What, you miss me?" he says while looking me up and down in a teasing way with a stupid smirk on his face. Fine, two can play at that game. If he wants to fake flirt, he can be my guest.

"Maybe I did" I say while impersonating his smirk.

He chuckles in disbelief at my comment and then sits down next to me on the air mattress. "Well, I'm right here now." he says. Somehow I can't find a way to respond to him, so I stay quiet. For a while, we just sit in silence and listen to the birds outside. For once, it was peaceful. But the whole time my mind was wandering, begging to ask questions.

"Did you mean what you said last night? That you don't hate me?" I whisper not wanting to break the delicate moment.

He smiles and lets out a breath. "I think we both know I don't hate you, Y/n."

While it's true that most people don't sleep next to the people they hate, it doesn't explain the other things. The picking me apart, leaving me out, or simply pretending I don't exist. Those things all seemed a lot like hate. So why does he think it should be obvious he doesn't hate me?

" I mean yeah we cuddled sure-" he cuts me off, like he always does. His intrusive thoughts getting the better of him. " Ew, don't call it that. That word is so weird. "cuddles" "

"Oh, grow up. that's what we did." I deadpan before continuing on. " Anyway, we cuddled, and it was nice. But that doesn't explain all the other shit you've done to me." I say exasperatedly.

"If you don't hate me, then why do you have to act like it" I say turning my whole body to him and looking into his eyes. He looks down to his lap in shame.

"I don't know." he whispers, eyebrows raising slightly. I laugh out loud. "Oh, you don't know, well that's just awesome." I wait and see if he's going to say anything else but he's still just avoiding my gaze. Annoyance bubbles in my chest.

"So you just pretended to hate me for no reason, got it" . I'm starting to get pissed off, so I get up to leave but Chris stops me. He grabs my wrist in a firm but gentle grasp.

"Wait" he looks up at me from where he was on the mattress. "Don't go. " he mutters, his eyes desperate.

"Then explain" I reply stubbornly. I go to sit down and he drops my wrist. He looks back down at his lap, his hair shielding his face again.

"When I first met you, I thought you were the most beautiful girl I had ever seen." he says quietly. My eyes widen in shock. He made me feel so inferior that day. "But you basically said I was ug-"

"I know what I said Y/n" he cuts me off but then pauses before he continues. "I say a lot of things I don't mean. But you already knew that." he says and then lifts his head up to meet my eyes again. Remorse and intensity were in them.

" I didn't want you to see how I really felt, so I pretended I didn't want anything to do with you.", he breathes out. His eyes travel my face looking for a reaction before landing on my lips. My heart beat quickens and I unconsciously lean in. Is he trying to say, what I think he's trying to say

"And how did you feel?" you whisper with your faces nearly inches apart. He smiles softly before attaching his lips to mine. His lips are soft and he's kissing me gently. My hands immediately travel up his shoulders into his hair and he deepens the kiss. I feel the passion and the want in all his kisses, confirming his confession. Tears start to stream down my cheeks. This is all I've ever wanted

Chris pulls away and cups my cheeks while whipping away my tears. "Did that answer your question?"

And then I laugh. A real, genuine one. "Yeah I think so. But I want to hear you say it." He smiles and then leans in again. Our foreheads connect, and I can feel his lips brush against mine as he says it.

"I love you. More than you'll ever know"

My eyes start to water again and I swallow. " I love you too, Chris" .

And with that he indulges in another kiss. This time he grabs my waist and pulls me into his lap. Who knew all this could happen in one camping trip??

@sturnstvr

@sturniol0s

@xoxotaylynn

Part 2, I hope you guys liked it. I just started writing, so if you read any of my fics I would love to hear feedback!! I want to get better at writing so I can use all the advice I can get. Love you guysss

[loulovingho]

i'm pissed right now about a lot of personal things and I'm gonna take it out by talking about 911 shit and how people refuse to let tommy grow as a character but take up for literally all the other screw ups on the show. under a cut so you can avoid:

going on instagram is always a mistake but i went on there anyway and people are just being absolute pieces of shit. i do not know a single character on 911 that hasn't fucked up in some way but tommy is the only one not worthy of redemption. i know why, we all know why, but i do not understand why the dipshits that ship buddie so fiercely are so stupid as to not recognize that their little babies are fucked up too.

eddie left his wife and reenlisted because he couldn't handle being a dad, especially to a handicapped kid. then he got pissed when his wife asked for help, asked to go see her family. honestly, do not blame his parents one bit for wanting custody of christopher. they fucking raised him! eddie still relies on the people around him to take care of his needs. he had a one sided friendship with lena, asks buck to babysit more than hangout, was getting flights to vegas out of tommy, and used his girlfriends as glorified babysitters as well. also cheated on his girlfriend with a dead wife lookalike???

hen cheated on her wife for no fucking reason, then spent the next episode all smug when everyone else got their karma for being garbage, and they had karen take her back after like one episode apart?

bobby got his entire family killed.

athena regularly abuses her power as a police officer when it benefits her or her family.

chimney basically lied through the first relationship we ever saw him in, and was a horrible captain.

maddie doesn't know the meaning of staying in your lane and getting the fuck out of other peoples business. she should have been fired a few times over.

buck cheated on his girlfriend, asked her to move in instead of being honest with her, and basically trapped her with him. he also stole firetrucks to go have sex while at work, which he very much should have (permanently) been fired for.

they're all screw ups and that's the whole point!! that they're trying to be better and do better and learn from their past. Everyone gets a free pass but tommy. maybe it's because I relate to him so much, because I once was the old version of him (probably worse tbh) and I worked really fucking hard on myself to be better and do better. i guess it's personal for me because I honestly relate to him more than any of the other characters, but it's also really fucking stupid to be so hateful toward a fictional character and real live person because you want two specific characters (one of whom's actor has said REPEATEDLY is straight) to kiss.

and for all the assholes who want to claim that lou is racist or whatever the fuck you've decided he is this week, I seriously suggest you research a certain regular actor on the show a bit further before you come to me with that shit.

in conclusion, ship whoever you want, i don't give a shit, but stop pretending your character is an angel when in reality they all suck because all humans in general suck!

[queenimmadolla]

CRUEL SUMMER - '85, PIII

summary: . . . the year Eddie Munson doesn’t give a fuck about not having graduated when he’s gotta save the girl so he can get the girl. (in which Eddie is in ST3 and reader is basically Heather Holloway) ┊ Eddie Munson x Flayed!Reader┊Main Masterlist - Series Masterlist - PI - PII

chapter summary . . . Eddie finally learns the circumstances surrounding your bizarre behavior and teams up with a ragtag group of kids to track you down and finally confront you. The only problem is you aren’t you because you’re suddenly committing grand theft auto and people around you are going missing.

chapter warnings: pining, billy hargrove (this fic is black reader friendly, I PROMISE), ‘unrequited’ love, angst, jealousy, mind control, nightmares, violence.

a/n: a very big thank you to my dear friend @kitmon for betaing this chapter! a literal angel ♡ and the detergent scene is inspired by this post, as I am a fan of LifeFire/Headdie/whatever the fuck eddie x heather's ship name would be and it was stupid fucking funny to imagine eddie seeing flayed heather do it. also didn't want to make Reader eat dirt.

word count: 8.4k

“No.” “What? What do you mean ‘no’?” Max demanded from her place in the passenger seat of Eddie’s van.

Eddie let out an incredulous, so-fucking-done-with-this laugh, void of any humor as he drove towards her home. They’d spent the entire car ride feeding him some utter bullshit story about weird paranormal shit going around Hawkins. Now, Eddie knew Hawkins was bizarre but he gave the credit for that to its rather conservative townsfolk. Not some preteen with mind powers and a gaggle of other kids trying to take on an alternate dimension and its monsters. He loved fantasy, so the moment they mentioned a Demogorgon, Eddie knew the whole thing was a lie. A Demogorgon was a monster that existed only within the confines of DND guidebooks and lore. Not in real life. “I mean whatever game of pretend you’re trying to play, I’m not playing.” He should have known better. Maybe they’d gotten mixed in all this when Billy had brought you over (thinking that alone caused his heart to ache) to his house and decided to have some fun with it.

“You don’t think it’s bizarre Chief Hopper suddenly has a new daughter after the death of his other one?”

“Sara.” El immediately leans forward from the back, frowning at Max’s lack of humanization for a sister she’d never get to know.

Max shot her an apologetic look before turning her attention back to Eddie who was sneering.

“You weren’t even around to see Hopper with his family, so no, I don’t think it’s bizarre! There’s a thing called adoption, you know. You adopted?” Eddie directed the question to El, glancing at her reflection in the rearview mirror.

She nodded.

“There you go!” Eddie sighed as he pulled up outside of the house they’d been directing him to, windshield wipers working aggressively to clear the constant stream of rainwater pelting down. “Look. I get it. It’s summer, you’re probably bored out of your fucking minds but what’s going on with Billy and—.”

God, he couldn’t even fucking say your name in the same sentence with him, it felt vile. Bad. What were you thinking? Why couldn’t he have just gotten to you sooner? He shouldn’t have canceled to make a few more bucks, if he hadn’t, you’d be with him. Not fucking Billy. Oh, god. No. He should have thought of another explicit word to use because his mind was racing with images that were making him sick to his stomach.

“It’s just adult stuff, okay?” He croaked out, throat thick with emotion. “It’s not whatever you think it is, you’ll understand when you get older.”

El opened her mouth to argue but Max hushed her, shaking her head as they once more exchanged a secretive look that Eddie could very much see since he had working eyeballs. 

“No,” El whispered in return as fragments of what she’d seen in her trances rushed to the forefront of her mind, the last being an image of you, soaked in an ice bath with red teary eyes as you begged her to help you. Then you’d been pulled away, dragged under by something wicked. That hadn’t been her imagination. Despite having seen you, seemingly fine in the flesh, something was amiss. Your eyes hadn’t looked the same as they did, had lacked life almost.

El directed her stare at Eddie with pleading eyes.

“You have to believe me, she needs help. She asked me herself.” 

Eddie frowned, exhausted with this whole back and forth. He’d been right freaking there and you’d asked her no such thing.

“When was this?”

“Last night. I can see things─”

Eddie groaned, yanking his door open. “Christ, I’ve had it. Out, everybody out.”

The girls scrambled out of the van and into the rain, staring up at Eddie while he pulled their bikes out from the back. “Enough! Enough with the magic powers, the lab, the visions and the monsters! This shit is not a game! If something wrong is going on with them, then I’ll find out on my own! I don’t have time for your little fables and I’m not a babysitter.”

Eddie was beyond frustrated. He’d wasted all this time with them when he could have been staking out your house to see what you were up to next. Instead, he’d foolishly trusted some 13 year olds and now he’d probably have to track you down.

He didn’t even know what the fuck he was going to do, obviously you weren’t going to talk to him now that you had your stupid ass ex-fling back and said ex-fling just wanted to rub it in his face that he’d gotten you because Eddie had been too little too fucking late, as per usual. Eddie just couldn’t let you settle for Hargrove, not after everything he’d put you through and how much you’d grown since Billy had discarded you. If you didn’t want Eddie, then that’d be fine. 

It really wouldn’t, because Eddie would be a total wreck and never forgive himself for missing out on you, let alone be able to get over you, but he’d rather experience that epic heartbreak over you choosing Patrick McKinney instead of Eddie. Or literally, anyone one other than Billy. 

Nevermind the strong sensation of danger that radiated out of the house while you’d been in it. Hell, Eddie had been reluctant to think it but the feeling also seemed to be coming from you as well as Billy. It was difficult for him to believe, he’d dubbed you Sunshine on impulse but it had immediately gained meaning as Eddie grew to know you. Regardless of how people tried to bring you down, tried to discourage you from what you wanted and where you wanted to be socially (he’d been one of those people at some point) you refused to settle, refused to give in and fall back into the crowd like your peers wanted you to. You were positive you’d shine one day. And one day, you did.  For Eddie, at least. He’d just been too stupid to see it—no. He’d seen it. He’d just always assumed you’d be there. Now, you weren’t. There had been no sort of sunshine present in your dining room. You hadn’t been you. 

“Just go home.” Eddie shooed them in the direction of the house, ready to go back to the trailer and collapse, though his brain was running a mile a minute to try and figure out what to do next.

As he’d been about to reach for his car door handle, it suddenly moved higher than his reach. And so did the door it was connected to. 

Because his fucking van was hovering a couple of feet in the fucking air.

Eddie’s mouth dropped open, eyes wide and the hairs on his body raising at the sight of the impossible.

His head whipped around to see El, hand out towards his van with blood dripping from one of her nostrils as a look of concentration morphed her docile features into something fierce.

He watched, stunned as she lowered his van, letting it go once it was just a couple of inches off the ground and it bounced on its tires. Eddie couldn’t even wince at the damage his rims were definitely feeling.

He was stupefied, gaze moving from the van to the young girls over and over again while his mouth opened and closed like a fish.

What. The. Fuck.

“Believe us, now?” Max asked, smug smirk on her face at Eddie’s astoundment. He could only nod stupidly, mouth on autopilot.

“Definitely fucked up my rims, so don’t do that again.” He whispered out, still mindfucked.

Eddie let himself fall against the side of his van, back pressed up against the wet metal as he ran a hand down his face and pushed the hair sticking there way, the rain wasn’t even a bother to him anymore.

His brain was spazzing out, sizzling like bacon as it tried to make sense of what he just witnessed. It just—It couldn’t! 

But it reminded him of the outlandish story they’d given him in the van. The government, the not so random deaths of Benny, Barb, the disappearance and reappearance of Will Byers and how Jonathan, Nancy and Steve’s weird little love triangle (used lightly, everyone could see Nancy and Jonathan would be ending up together) also was involved in the supernatural events. And The Monsters.

Eddie felt the blood drain from his face as he specifically recalled the one about Will Byers and how he’d been just about possessed by the Mindflayer, as the girls had dubbed it. A spy for its sinister intentions.

His stomach hurt.

“Okay, okay.” Eddie finally gave in, he still had no fucking clue what was going on and he really didn’t want to but there wasn’t anytime to waste trying to somehow argue his way into coming up with a reasonable explanation for all of this. It’s been obvious to him you weren’t in the most ideal of situations, despite giving him the cold shoulder, and he knew you were possibly in danger but know he knew El actually had real fucking powers and the stories they told him were true. You weren’t just in peril, you were in a life or death situation.

How he didn’t faint was unknown to him.

“What do we do?” The question escaped him in a rush as he started at Max and El, eyes wide with desperation. “We have to save her.” Max’s eyebrows furrowed as she stated the obvious and the desperation left Eddie just for a moment so he could glare at her. “I know that. How? Is it the Mindflayer?” “We didn’t kill it, just made sure it couldn’t come out,” El informed him, wiping the blood from her nose. “Look, I hate to put all of this on hold, but there’s not much we can do right now. We can recon tomorrow. Give me your phone number.” Eddie winced again, eyes darting around to make sure there was no one else around. God, why did this have to look so fucking bad? He yanked his car door open to dig around the floor of it for a piece of paper, shouting in victory when he’d found not only a receipt, but a really fucked up pen that still worked. He scribbled his phone number down and made sure to keep it snug in his palms to protect it from the rain as it was transferred to Max’s hold. “And don’t you dare think about leaving me out of any of your weird plans, I’ve seen those little looks you’ve been giving each other so I know you scheme. If it’s about her then I need to know. Deal?” “You’re not even offering us anything.” Max made a face as she shoved the receipt with his contact information into her pocket.

“Are most kids this annoying?” “Just go home and get some rest, Eddie. You look like hell,” she snorted out as she and El hurriedly guided the bikes up the driveway.  “I mean it! You better not leave me out of the loop!” He shouted after them before quickly jumping back into his van. “Go home and rest. Yeah, right.” He mumbled, fumbling momentarily with the keys before the van was sputtering to life. He yanked his seatbelt on and floored it, ring clad fingers gripping the steering wheel tightly as he made his way back to your house. No fucking way was he going home, now. Not when the love of his fucking life was possibly possessed by some cthulhu fucker. Eddie didn’t even bother turning to music for comfort, nothing but you could offer that to him and you were currently busy, apparently. When he was just a little ways down the street, he turned his headlights off and slowed his speed. He’d do a quick driveby and then circle back to park a little ways from your house, scope it out to make sure Billy wasn’t hurting you. That feeling of dread returned when he drove by and saw your home, every single light off and seemingly vacant of life. It was your wide open front door that really worried him, though. Fuck the discreet attempt. Eddie swerved into your empty driveway and jumped out of the van, slamming the door shut as he surveyed for the car he’d failed to notice the last time he was present but Billy’s Camaro was nowhere in sight.  “Sunshine?” He called out as he slowly crossed the threshold of your home, shutting the door behind him. The house didn’t seem all that scary anymore, he had a feeling neither Billy nor you were here.` When you didn’t answer him and Billy didn’t spring around the corner to attack him, he made a beeline for your room. Didn’t even bother knocking, just burst right in but like the rest of the house, your room was empty.  Eddie’s shoulders sagged as he sighed, a hand wiping down his tired face, back leaning up against your bedroom door to shut it. The day and his newfound knowledge were finally catching up to him. He was exhausted, physically, mentally and emotionally. And the stupid fucking weight on his chest wasn’t helping, Eddie was not a fan of melancholy or heartbreak, dealing with both the idea of the girl he loved being with someone else and being in mortal danger were not the obstacles he thought he’d have to face when he planned to confess his feelings.  Selfishly, he hadn’t thought he’d face any obstacles. Definitely fucking karma. Eddie should just pull himself together to go home and wait for Max and Eleven’s (he still couldn’t believe they had nicknamed her after a fucking number, the whole time he thought it was one of those preteen phases as Eddie had once tried to make himself known as The Munster. Terrible, he’s aware) call, just like he shouldn’t deal drugs. But he does. And he wasn't going home. He’s had a feeling, now that you and Billy were aware of your parents’ plans, Billy had taken you out somewhere. It was killing him to not know if you were doing something along the lines of Max and El’s memories or if you were doing something else with Billy. Were you completely out of it? Or were you aware of what you were doing? Did you really have feelings for Billy or were you being forced to stick around him? He needed answers and having to wait ‘til morning made him want to scream. So, he did. He collapsed onto your bed, body cushioned by your soft blankets and screamed into one of your pillows. He didn’t stop until it physically hurt his lungs to continue and only then did he shift around, kicking off his sneakers as he stared up at your ceiling, another thought (one he feared to even be thinking) plaguing his conscience. Could he lose you? And he didn’t mean to Billy.

People had apparently lost their lives when this Upside Down place was involved. And now you were mixed into it, would that mean you’d lose your life, too? Eddie frantically shook his head, trying to kick the thought out of it.  No. No, you did not get to die. You deserved so much more than what the world had dealt you and Eddie would move heaven and hell to make sure you got it. Whatever the fuck had a hold on you, he’d fucking rid you of it. And he was gonna tell you he loved you, too. If you didn’t love him, well then. Then, well. Yeah, he had no idea what he’d do but you’d still be alive so he could live with it. And if you did love him, then he’d spend the rest of his fucking life–your lives making sure you knew how important and loved you were. How much he loved you and wanted to make you happy. He’d do it every day. Tell you every day, if he could somehow keep from professing it multiple times a day (which he didn’t plan to). Wouldn’t be able to stop kissing you, either. GOD, how he wanted to kiss you. He’d had the urge sporadically throughout your friendship but it intensified around Christmas time last year and by the end of the school year, Eddie’s self control was hanging by a thread. He hadn’t kissed you then because he was too stupid to even think about acknowledging his feelings as well as yours. Then summer had punched him in the fucking face because all he wanted to do was kiss you stupid, hold you and just smother himself with your existence.  

Only he couldn’t. You were possessed and maybe dating your ex-whatever he was, while under the influence of something non-human (his brain hurt to make sense of it). How the fuck was he supposed to un-posses you? The only scenario he could think of was that of The Exorcist and while you hadn’t seemed yourself, your neck hadn’t been moving in ways it shouldn’t so an exorcism was probably out of the question. Eddie sighed, head nestled into your pillow before he realized it was your pillow, then he was pressing his face into again, albeit much more gentle, as he inhaled your scent, the ache in his heart immediately comforted by it. On impulse, he nuzzled further into it and for a moment, he was able to pretend it was your hair and you were with him, safe and curled into his side. Where you always should have been. He cracked an eye open with a sniffle to see one of your stuffed animals staring back at him. It was the one you’d immediately dove for, to hide, when you’d first invited him over and forgot it was still displayed on your bed. He’d teased you about it for only a moment before he’d made amends by having a one sided conversation in which he befriended it.  It was quickly pulled into his arms and Eddie was further comforted just knowing he was holding something you held and cared for. He hoped–full offense to the stuffed animal–he’d be taking its place in the future.

It was all too much for him, the tears slipped out before he could stop them. Eddie found himself muffling his sobs into your pillow. It was so unfair. So, so fucking undeserved. All you wanted was to be accepted, how could that fucking warrant all this bullshit? If Eddie could, he’d swap places with you in an instant. He’d do anything.

He cried so hard and so long, he eventually ended up tiring himself out. Eddie wasn’t even aware that he’d been slipping further away from consciousness, thoughts only focused on you, so much he even dreamed of you.

“You’re really not helping me out here, Sunshine,” Eddie commented with a smirk and a dry tone as he watched you get comfortable on his bed, stomach down and feet up in the air.

“You met her at one of your shows, Eddie. She knows you’re metal so literally every single piece of clothing you own is not only appropriate for your date, it also means you can’t go wrong. ‘Sides, you look great in all your clothes,” you said, rolling onto your back to peer up at him upside down.

“Now, you’re just flattering me.” But it had been the right thing to say, Eddie had already changed twice—eager to please—and just needed reassurance. You always made him feel better about being himself.

You were also making it harder and harder for him to deny his feelings. 

Maybe he shouldn’t anymore.

“Sunshine,” Eddie started, voice serious to even his own ears as he closed the distance between the two of you, squatting by the edge of the bed directly in front of you. You flipped over and sat up on your knees, hands clasped together in your lap with a hopeful gleam in your eyes. “I wanted to tell you something.”

“Okay, you can tell me anything,” you quirked and Eddie felt his heart squeeze, affections for you growing as each moment passed. 

He knew he could, you were always so easy to talk to. Still, something in him was scared, he didn’t want this to be another Chrissy situation. He didn’t hold anything against her, knew hurting people wasn’t in her nature but she’d still chosen Jason over him. It had stung, but he’d had you as a salve for the pain when he was finally ready to stop running from their end and stop seeking her out.

Who would he have if you got tired of him? Something about the ache he got at the mere thought of losing you told him it would hurt way more than any of his previous heartbreaks and that wasn’t something he was keen on experiencing. So, he chickened out. 

“You’re my best friend, you know that?”

“Of course, I know that. You tell me all the time,” you reminded him and Eddie just leaned forward to ruffle your hair, chuckling when you fought his hand away. He stood back up and went to grab his jacket from where he’d thrown it over one of his amps. He pointedly pretended he hadn’t seen disappointment flash over your face.

He’d make it up to you later, take you to buy a new cassette or something. God, what was he thinking? He’d almost ruined it all.

“I better get going or I’ll be late,” Eddie shrugged his jacket on, watching from the corner of his eye as you quickly pulled yourself together, pushing yourself off the bed.

It was only a little awkward as you both made your way out of the trailer. You walked over to retrieve your bike from where you always left it when you came over, unchained. No one really took stuff that didn’t belong to them around here.

Except for Eddie. 

“Well, I hope you have fun, Eddie. Just don’t trash her music taste if it differs from yours in the slightest like you always do and you’ll definitely get a second date.”

“What about you? Doing anything fun?”

“Oh, yeah. Babysitting some of the neighborhood kids. I think you and Lucas would get along. He’s a huge nerd, too.” You shot him a smirk over your shoulder as you walked your bike away, always too embarrassed to hobble onto it in front of him.

Eddie stood by the door of the van, the handle loosely in his grasp as he watched your retreating figure and felt the familiar feeling of longing settle into his belly. 

Fuck this.

“HEY!” He called out to you, already jogging the distance as you stopped to look back, eyes wide as you noticed the sudden change in him.

“What?”

“The thing is,” Eddie started, lips pursed as he debated over what he was about to confess. It would change everything and Eddie didn’t take to change very well. It was precisely why he’d ignored your feelings and his, hoping they’d simply go away, vanish into thin air someday. 

He didn’t want them to go away anymore. He wasn’t afraid of change. Because the change that would come to your relationship was the good kind. The kind that would allow him to hold your hand, kiss you, be close to you without feeling like he was pushing a boundary. 

“Are you okay?”

Eddie snapped out of it, focusing on your expression again. You looked concerned, of course you were worried about him. You were one of the few people who cared for him. 

He reached out, gently taking your soft hand in his, thumb stroking over your knuckles.

“The thing is . . . I love you. I love you, so much and I’ve been too chicken shit to say anything because you’re also my best fucking friend, Sunshine. I didn’t want to lose that. But if I didn’t say anything, I’d be losing the chance for more. I want everything with you, I want to be your boyfriend,” he confessed, giving your hand a squeeze as he watched you with bated breath.

You stared down at your hands for a moment.

Then you laughed.

You laughed cold and cruel and hard, before yanking your hand out of his grasp. 

“You think I’d want you? After all this time?”

The pain in his chest was immediate, he could feel the blood drain from his face. Then Billy Hargrove walked around the corner of a neighboring trailer, hands in his pockets with the most smug of smirks on his stupid fucking face. The fuck was he doing here?

“Why the hell would she want you, Freakazoid? She’s my girl, always has been.” Eddie watched as he walked right up to you, slipping an arm around your shoulders as you leaned into his embrace like you were used to it, your own arms slipping around his waist. Eddie felt physically ill.

He could also feel his heart cracking, chipping and shattering into millions of pieces as he stared hopelessly at you and Billy. It got worse.

Billy leaned down, mouth devouring yours in a messy kiss that you returned with fervor and Eddie felt like he was dying, could feel the hot tears of anger, heartache, frustration and betrayal—he didn’t really have a right to feel—already running down his cheeks.

He wiped furiously at them but they just kept coming. When you and BIlly finally pulled away, it was only to laugh at him.

Then it wasn’t just you and Billy. Suddenly, he was in the cafeteria of the high school, and everyone was crowded around, laughing at him, having an absolute fit of a good time at his expense. 

Eddie couldn’t breathe, wet gaze and red eyes darting around to take in all the cruel faces around him before landing on yours again, begging with them. 

This time, there was no cruelty on your face. It was void of any emotion before you turned your back to him and made your way into the crowd solo, Billy was no longer present. 

Eddie made a desperate attempt to follow you, trying to force and bully his way through the crowd, watching the back of your head disappear into it as he screamed your name, begging you to come back to him as the crowd got louder and rowdier. You were gone. He was left alone.

Eddie’s eyes snapped open as he gasped for breaths and jolted up, chest heaving and filled with momentary panic before he realized he’d experienced a nightmare. Or something close to it.

It wasn’t real. Thank fucking hell.

The nightmare had started off as a memory. You had been at his trailer, hanging out with him before one of his dates but he hadn’t stopped you when you left on your bike. Eddie had only watched you. Then he got in his van and went to pick up the girl he had asked out. 

He fell back into soft pillows, relaxing for just a moment before he realized the pillows were too soft and fluffy to be his, as was the mattress under his body. A quick look around his surroundings reminded him he was in your bedroom. 

He was also reminded of the horrifying circumstances regarding why he was in your bedroom and you weren’t.

Shit.

Reluctantly, Eddie got out of your bed, quickly gathering his things. Max would probably call soon and he had to be at the trailer to answer. He practically ran down your stairs, stopped, ran back up them to snag the stuffed animal he’d cuddled the night before. He’d need a little bit of you to keep him sane.

As he locked and closed your front door behind him, he just so happened to glance at your next door neighbor’s house, head doing a double take when he noticed their front door was also open.

Eddie did a quick glance around before he made his way over to investigate, brows furrowing when he noticed the door jam was broken. 

“Hello?” He called out, pushing the door open further. The entrance was a wreck, a small table with flowers had been knocked over along with a coat rack, which had a large section of it broken off. The broken piece was only a little ways away. The home had obviously been broken into and some sort of struggle had taken place.

Eddie had a feeling both you and Billy had been involved. Just as he turned to leave, a picture had been knocked to the floor caught his eye.

Of fucking course your neighbor had to be the goddamn Mayor.

He ran back to his van in record time, quickly peeling out of the area as he weighed his options. He couldn’t call the cops, not only because he was probably still on their radar, there was no way they wouldn’t try to blame him for it. Then, he’d get locked up and saving you wouldn’t be impossible from behind bars.

Besides, they were pretty much useless. He’d have to tell Red and El.

Eddie made it into his trailer just in time to answer the phone before it could finish its first ring. He nearly broke his ankles flinging himself at it, wincing as his shoulder collided roughly with the wall.

“‘Lo?” He croaked out, mouthing ‘ow’ as he rubbed the sore spot.

“It’s me.”

Red—Max, whatever.

“What’s up?” He demanded, shoulder pain immediately forgotten.

“Your girlfriend, you know her schedule right?”

“She’s not my—yeah. Yeah, I know her schedule. Why?” It didn’t matter all that much to correct her, right?

“Does she work today?”

“No. WAIT. Yes, she’s covering for her co-worker Heather. I don’t know what shift, though,” If you bothered showing up this time, anyways. “Why?” 

“Meet us at the pool then.”

“WHY?” Eddie demanded again, wincing once more when he remembered Wayne should be asleep on his bed. A quick glance into the living room confirmed his old man was still asleep. Thank god that man could sleep through the apocalypse.

“Why?” Eddie muttered into the receiver, voice much lower this time.

“We’re gonna see if she’s a spy.” 

“Were you not in the same house as me, yesterday? I wouldn’t call that atmosphere pleasant.”

“I wouldn’t call any atmosphere Billy is in ‘pleasant’.”

“Alright, you got me there. But I went over again and—hello?” Eddie was met with the sound of the dial tone. He rolled his eyes and cursed under his breath as he placed the phone back on the receiver. Kids were such assholes.

He took a quick shower, probably less than five minutes, and freshened up just so he wouldn’t smell in case he ended up in close quarters with you.

When he got to the pool, he was momentarily concerned he wouldn’t be able to find them. Then he caught sight of Red and El, crouched in the parking lot in front of a nearby car. They weren’t alone.

“Oh great, you brought the rest of the little rascals,” Eddie sighed as he walked over.

“Shut up.”

“I’m Lucas.”

“Will.” Eddie had seen him on a couple of ‘Missing’ flyers, had been handed one when Jonathan was passing them around during all of his breaks and lunch.

“Mike.” He was prompted when El shoved her elbow into his rib.

“Eddie,” He introduced himself, giving them all a nod before his attention was on Red. “What are we doing here?”

“I already told you,” Max sighed, ready to elaborate once more.

“Yes, I know that. I mean why are we hiding in the parking lot?”

“Plotting,” Max stated, glancing back at where Billy lounged on the lifeguard tower. Eddie followed her stare and frowned. If Billy was on duty, then they’d most likely missed you.

You appeared on the other side of Billy, still clad in your swimsuit with a towel over your arm as you conversed.

Eddie perked up immediately and so did the sense of longing in his belly. 

“What were you saying?” Lucas asked Will, referring to whatever it was they were talking about before Eddie interrupted with his arrival. 

Eddie didn’t take his eyes off you, too afraid you’d disappear like you did in his dream but he was listening intently to the conversation.

“The Mind Flayer liked to hide. He only used me when he needed me.” There was that unsettling feeling again. Eddie did not like that, not one bit. “It’s like you’re a doormat. And then, when he needs you, you’re activated.”

You didn’t look like you could harm a fly, sunglasses over your face as you appeared to argue with Billy, who didn’t so much as look down at you, gesturing to a kid in the water he’d most likely called a name.

You told him Billy did that a lot and it bothered you significantly.

“Okay, so we just wait until they get activated,” Max decided.

“No,” Mike shook his head, “What if they hurt someone?”

“Or kill someone.” Lucas added.

“They already broke into the Mayor’s house,” Eddie informed them, grimly. He was trying to wrap his head around the idea of the cute lifeguard, who held his heart in the soft palms of her hands, breaking into a home and abducting someone.

“What?!”

“I went by again yesterday.” Eddie threw Max a glare as he recalled what he had attempted to tell her over the phone before she hung up on him. “And when I left this morning—don’t ask—I noticed her neighbor’s door looked kicked in. The inside was wrecked and a lovely little photo of that asshole and his wife was on the ground.”

“That’s not the Mayor’s house,” Lucas corrected him, “It’s his mistress’ house. The Mayor lives in some fancy schmancy part of town with his wife but he’s been seeing my mom’s hair stylist and that’s where she lives. I hear my mom talking about it to her friends all the time.”

“Then they got a rude interruption last night.”

“We’re not taking any more chances,” Mike declared. “We need to find out if they’re hosts to it.”

Mike, Lucas and Will ran to the boys locker rooms to check something but Eddie couldn’t be bothered to go with them, choosing to wait with Max and El so he could keep an eye on you. The boys came back within minutes and had developed a plan to capture Billy. Which just left you.

Mike had come up with the idea to lock you in the sauna with Billy but Eddie vehemently rejected the idea. He was not about to lock you anywhere with Billy, especially since he was a little more reassured of your dislike of him. While you two had been playing house the evening before, it looked like you were back to being annoyed with him today. What the hell was up with that?

Eddie noticed you walking away and stiffend. Was The Mindflayer calling you away?

“She’s leaving,” he pointed out, a desperate edge to his voice.

“Oh, shit. We can’t let her out of our sight!” 

“I won’t,” Eddie stated as they crouched low to hide behind the car when you came out. He’d been expecting you to walk over to the bike racks but you made your way to the parking lot instead, hopping into the first car you saw. You dipped a little below the steering wheel before the car came to life and you drove out of the parking lot.

“Should we follow her car?”

“She doesn’t have a car,” was all Eddie stated before he bolted over to the van. Before he could peel out after you, Lucas’s face popped into view of the window and Eddie hastily lowered it in time for the preteen to shove a giant fucking walkie talkie through it. 

“Use this to keep in contact and be careful!”

“Thanks, kid.”

Eddie didn’t wait any longer, speeding out of the parking lot to make sure he didn’t lose you. 

His heart was racing, palms sweaty and gripping the steering wheel as he followed the car you stole. When you pulled into the grocery store, he parked further from you, just to make sure you weren’t on to him.

You got out of the car and Eddie realized you were still in your red swimsuit and white sneakers, with no bag or car keys. You glanced around you and Eddie quickly ducked down into the seat cursing as he waited a few moments before peaking over at your retreating figure. There was no telling whether you saw him or not, you were still wearing your sunglasses but if you had seen him, his presence didn’t bother you enough to stop you.

Eddie pulled out the TRC, fumbling with it until he managed to get it operating, “Eddie to Little Rascals. Come in, Little Rascals.”

There was nothing for a few moments, then static.

“Eddie?” It was Lucas.

“Yeah, it’s me. I followed her to Bradley’s Big Buy.”

“What’s she doing there?”

“Buying groceries? I don’t know! But I’m gonna find out. I’ll check in soon.” Eddie didn’t bother asking how their plan with Billy was going, they couldn’t exactly trap him in broad daylight with witnesses, nor did he even care about what happened to the mondo-douche. Not after he got you involved in this fucked up mess.

He did his best to maintain a sense of casualty when he got into the store, giving a forced smile to some lady who was staring at him for obvious reasons: his attire and general appearance. “Hey, how you doin’?”

Eddie speedwalked, checking each aisle for you. He almost feared he’d lost you, maybe you’d already left the store, until he reached the laundry detergent aisle.

There you were and for a moment, he forgot about the current situation, eyes raking over your figure with deep appreciation. Wow. Just—wow.

Then you grabbed a detergent off the shelf, uncapped it and began chugging the liquid down, effectively snapping him out of his horny thoughts.

Eddie could only stare, eyes wide and mouth open, dumbfounded. 

You lowered the nearly empty jug, wiping your mouth with the back of your hand before you noticed his presence, turning your head to him.

“Hi, Eddie.” You greeted him as though nothing was wrong, like you didn’t just down an entire jug of chemicals.

“Uh, hey, Sunshine.” Was all he could force out because he didn’t know if he was interacting with you or The Mindflayer. Did it even allow you to be you? Fuck, it was confusing. Did he mention how fucked up this whole thing was?

“I’d go with the lemon scented, lavender’s pretty shit.” Then you capped the jug and put it back on the shelf before walking off. Eddie took a few moments to regain his composure, trying not to have a panic attack about what drinking that shit could do to you before he was stumbling after you but he was too late.

You weren’t in the store anymore and Eddie cursed as he made a break for the front doors, running out of them just as the car you were in—an entirely new one from the one you stole at the pool—screeched by.

FUCK.

“FUCK!” Eddie gripped the roots of his hair in frustration, paying no mind to the weird looks he was getting.

You’d gotten out of there fast, there was no way you weren’t on to him following you around now. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

He ran back to the van, yanking the door open and rooting around until he pulled up the walkie talkie.

“Preteens, we have a problem. I repeat, we have a colossal problem.”

This time it was Max who responded, “What is it, Eddie?”

“She knows.”

Eddie heard a bunch of them trying to talk as Max held down the button before she told them to be quiet, “What does she know? What happened?”

“I was following her inside and I caught—well, I mean it was out in the open but not a whole lot of people were around—anyways, I caught her drinking laundry detergent and I was so damn shocked, she had time to make it out. She must have been bolting in the parking lot because by the time I made it out behind her, she was already driving off!” Eddie rambled, still shook up by the whole ordeal.

“She was drinking detergent?”

“Messed up, right? She took off in a different car this time and I don’t know how she’s doing it unless The Mindflayer gives his little puppets a crash course on hotwiring.” But even that took a few moments, you’d gotten out of there way too quick if that was the case.

“You have to find her, Eddie!”

“I know, I know. I’m gonna search around town. Be careful on your end.” The TRC was tossed onto the passenger seat as Eddie started up the van. 

He drove through the streets of Hawkins looking for any sign of you and while he didn’t find you, he found elements of your presence in the form of a few homes which looked broken into. He wasn’t entirely sure if you’d done it since Bradley’s or if they had been homes you and Billy had hit the night prior.

You made your way through the crowded mall, easily weaving between bodies as you approached the girls hanging out by the fountain. You’d since changed your lifeguard attire, He needed you to blend in for the next part of his plan.

“Well, well. Look who’s out of the house,” Beverly commented, hot pink lips pursed into an ignorant smirk. The rest of her lackeys giggled as if she said something remotely insulting.

“Thank you for stating the obvious, Beverly. I am—indeed—at the fucking mall and not my house,” you stated, face void of any amusement. Fix it, He commanded and your face broke out into a smile just as Beverley’s contorted in shock at your brazen reply.

“Anywho, girls, Billy sent me.” You waited for them to show signs of interest, He was pleased when they did; sitting up straighter, leaning forward to hear what you had to say. “He’s throwing a warehouse party tonight. Interested?”

Eddie was camped out in front of your house, sunk just low enough in the seat to see over the edge of the dashboard as he waited for you to come home. He had no luck perusing the town, so his best bet was to wait for you to come to him.

The stuffed animal was clutched to his chest again, mind entirely filled with nothing but thoughts and concern about you when you finally pulled up to your home in another car, having ditched the other.

He knew it probably wasn’t wise, but he needed to confront you, he had to find out what was going on with you.

The moment you were out of your car, Eddie was out of the van and calling out to you.

You stopped in your tracks, staring at him with a bleak expression, “Yes?”

He had no idea what to fucking say, so he went with, “Where have you been?”

“Around.”

His eyes squeezed shut for a moment, ache in his chest only growing, “Sweetheart, please. Please talk to me. What’s going on? You’re avoiding me, hanging around Billy again and not acting like yourself. Did I do something? If I did, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

Eddie saw you fidget, brows furrowing as something akin to sadness appeared to pass over you.

“You didn’t do anything, Eddie,” He let you tell him. “Go away.”

You turned to walk up your driveway but Eddie was desperate, he reached forward to grasp your wrist and you whirled around, expression dark as your body tensed.

“I said. . . Go. Away.” It was hissed out between your clenched teeth with so much venom, Eddie almost backed down. Almost. The impending doom feeling returned, filling the warm night air with dread.

He clenched his jaw, preparing for you to attack him at that point but he’d take whatever you gave him. He could handle it, even if he had to wrestle you into submission. 

“No.”

Just as it looked like you were about to make a move, something odd happened.

You froze, eyes looking both at him and beyond him. The skin of your wrist under Eddie’s palm began to move in a way that was not at all normal or even remotely human. He stared in horror as your veins appeared to bulge and crawl up your arm, following them up to your face where the veins around your eye sockets—not normally seen to the human eye—were very apparent, bulging and dark. 

Your eyes were nearly pitch black.

With ease, you flung the arm Eddie had a hold of, sending him flying in the air before crashing onto the lawn on the other side of the street. 

He gasped, trying to get the air that had escaped his lungs on impact to return to him and was still gasping when he managed to roll onto his side, eyes darting around until they caught sight of you running towards a telephone poll with an electricity distribution box on it.  

Eddie watched, chest heaving as you tore the cover off, before flinging it at an alarming speed towards the telephone wires, one of the jagged ends catching along and snapping a wire from its place as its sparks rained down around you.

It was only then Eddie noticed the puddle of water, left over from last night’s storm, you stood in.

“NO!” He managed to yell, voice hoarse as he tried to warn you, gritting his teeth while he pushed his sore body up from the ground. He watched the wire dance around the street, sparks flying from the end. 

He’d just managed to get to his feet, ignoring the pain in his sides as he ran towards you.

Before Eddie could reach you, the wire end dipped into the puddle and he was sure his heart stopped.

Only, you weren’t electrocuted as you should have been. You weren’t affected at all.

Eddie’s running slowed to a stop as you reached down, grabbed the thick wire and raised it to your mouth.

“No fucking way.” He whispered into the air, mouth dry.

You bit into it and Eddie swore he saw your body illuminate, literally glow from within like a finger would if held against the lens of a flashlight, before the lights of the homes around him flickered, as did the street lights. Suddenly, telephone pole glass insulators burst on every pole as far as his eyes could see and the bulbs of every street light shattered. The homes went black, leaving your street and probably the next couple of blocks swallowed in darkness. 

Eddie could barely make out your figure fleeing under the cover of a total blackout, sprinting further and further away until he could no longer see you at all.

He stood in the middle of the street for quite some time before he painstakingly made his way back to the van.

The drive back to the community pool was filled with silence, his headlights the only source of light.

When Eddie pulled up to the pool it was obvious the area had been affected by the power outage but not too bad, a couple of lights flickering and the ones that weren’t were dim. The kids were all seated on the sidewalk, looking as defeated as he felt.

“We lost Billy. He’s flayed,” Max stated, sounding disheartened as Eddie sat next to her, grimacing at the shock of pain flaring through his side.

“So is she.” Saying it out loud made his eyes burn with the sting of tears, fists clenched as they rested over his knees. It was one thing to fear you were possibly under the control of that thing, he felt a whole new sense of terror knowing, without a doubt, you were. 

He explained what had happened on his end, how you possessed almost superhuman strength and managed to drain a large region of the town of its electricity, which also explained how you were easily able to start all those cars you’d stolen. The kids deflated further as they realized exactly what they were up against this time around. 

“What are you going to do, now?” Max asked quietly, fully expecting him to run for the hills. It’s what any sane person would do. 

Max didn’t know Eddie wasn’t sane. And if it hadn’t been you in this situation, he would have run, wouldn’t have even been mixed into this whack ass situation.

But it was you and Eddie was done running from you. It was high time he ran towards you.

“I’m gonna save her. Or—y’know, die trying, I guess.”

“The girl,” you asked, grabbing the rag at your side. “Was it her?”

“Yeah. It was her. She knows now. She knows about me.” Before you could press it to the cut actively bleeding on Billy’s forehead, his hand darted out to grip your arm. “Will Munson be a problem?”

“No,” Brief flashes of warm, pretty brown kind eyes, a smirk, a wide grin, and brown curls managed to slip past His control before they were snuffed out, the ashes left to sink into the the grips of the Upside Down, along with your freewill.

Billy’s grip on your arm loosened and despite his bruising hold, there were no marks left behind on your skin. You were one in the same.

“She could have killed me,” he continued, and you felt what he feared. The failure of your plan. Of His plan.

“Yes.” Billy would be no match for the girl with superhuman abilities. Even with the gift He bestowed you, you may be no match for her. “But not us.”

You turned your head, both you and Billy taking in the sight of your growing numbers, various members of the community now a part of your legion, a part of Him. Soon, you would all join Him as one.

“Not us.”

And He watched you, from the eyes of the creature left behind in the world he’d been cast out of. 

In his domain, the realm of the Upside Down, the being, the nightmare who would soon be known began his preparations.

[dnfao3tags]

Monthly Fic Roundup - April 2023

hello there again :] dont forget to give all these amazing people a kudos and heartwarming comment !

also !!!! very pleased by the slight increase in fem!dnf fics this month .... i know there was a fem!dnf week going on for artists but if anyone would like then i could hold one for writers too .... tell me your thoughts !!!!

— apricity by fifishy (teen | comp. | 3k)

5 times George loves his best friend, and 1 time it's reciprocated.

— midpoints by nervouswaltz (teen | comp. | 3k)

George didn't so much fall in love with Dream more than he tripped, stumbled, and landed on the ground after a long slide down a hill. Falling in love with George, Dream thinks, was like tripping over the edge of the Grand Canyon and hitting the ground with a splat.

— afterglow by twostorms (teen | comp. | 16k)

Dream, George, and the next chapter of their lives.

— crystal clear by womanhunt (mature | comp. | 3k)

Dream comes home from Los Angeles.

— need you closer by 21questions (mature | comp. | 15k)

Dream and George are famous, and with that, stuck keeping their relationship secret. Their big reveal doesn't quite go as planned.

— sweetness (heart's content) by heartinhands (expl. | comp. | 3k)

Dream is incredibly weak for her girlfriend in an oversized hoodie. And her girlfriend's tits. Her girlfriend's everything really. Georgie wants her just as much though.

— soft by alisonsomething (teen | comp. | 1k)

George finally edits a video. After working on it all day, he asks Dream for a hand massage as his reward.

— craving your soft touch by Anonymous (expl. | comp. | 2k)

"Take a picture," Georgie says dryly, "will last longer. Or better, do something."

— Separate Poles Of Gravity by ivegivenuponyou (expl. | comp. | 6k)

He wonders at one point, with his hand around his cock, when it starts to count as an addiction, if you can even get addicted to masturbating, and then he thinks of Dream bending him over the weight bench and cums across the shower floor.

— you are the future (and the future looks good) by deathlytireddan (gen | comp. | 2k)

Patches' pov of her life with Dream.

— love me fully by next spring by brokenlikeastitch (teen | wip | 50k+)

George has never been one for blind optimism. His world has always existed in shades of grey. Shit happens sometimes and you put your head down and fucking deal with it. This time, though, this time he’s hopeful.

— beamish by findingahome (teen | comp. | 3k)

stargazing in a McDonald's parking lot.

— bury ourselves (reach for the sun) by wooowriter (gen | comp. | 8k)

In London, in a boring bedroom with boring walls, George realizes he loves Dream for the first time. Three years later, in LA, he tells him.

— Vis-à-Vis by Scoops (teen | comp. | 21k)

While they’re staying in Los Angeles, Dream’s Uber gets into an accident. Secrets are revealed, a road trip gets underway, and George finds out that maybe he likes taking care of people sometimes. Well, if that person is Dream, at least.

— somethin' stupid (like i love you) by snakeinaboyband (teen | comp. | 19k)

spending Christmas with Dream's family forces them both to struggle with the dynamic they'd settled into when George arrived in Florida. Maybe it's time they stopped pretending their friendship is normal.

— hands, knees, please by demonstars (expl. | comp. | 2k)

“I haven’t even touched you,” George is delighted. “You say you’re not obsessed with me, but you literally are. Look at you.”

— There Might Be by BirbWatcher, jestbee (teen | comp. | 6k)

George implies there's some truth to DNF on a live broadcast, all hell breaks loose

— living our life thru the stars by charoo (teen | comp. | 12k)

prince george makes friends with two boys that teach him how to have fun and be himself– happiness, pain, apologizies, laughter, and love follow.

— Give and Take by copperfic (expl. | comp. | 4k)

George laughs, glancing down. “They were with my stuff and I didn’t feel like digging through the laundry for another pair. He’s so short. Like can you believe how short these are?” “Yeah,” he manages weakly. “Crazy.”

— your house looks like it's heaven by preytall (expl. | comp. | 2k)

"It's the truth, though. You're a slut, George."

— Fool Me Once by VicIsWriting (teen | comp. | 2k)

April Fools day is the perfect time to ask your best friend out, right?

— you open like a flower by tippysleeps (expl. | comp. | 5k)

Dream takes off her shirt and George feels her brain white out. To see Dream in this context, all coy and expectant, with freckles and acne scars on her shoulders, makes her feel like the first person to discover desire.

remember that you're always free to send in any fics you'd like to see on the next roundup and i'll make sure to include it :]

[luvbugs-blog]

panic - s. todoroki

inspired by the willow and oz scene in the "graduation" episode on buffy the vampire slayer (not the stupid show no netflix, but the one with sarah michelle gellar).

note: most of the dialogue is from or inspired by the episode mentioned above!! i don't want copywrite issues!!

warnings: implied smut, but it's a fluff fic. not proof read

enjoy!!

with the war inching closer, the air at UA was tense. everyone could feel it. everyone, it seems, except your boyfriend.

bakugo was even more snappy than usual, and with deku gone, everyone's mood was in the dumps. ochaco had lost her usual smile, and iida seemed even stiffer.

after a long day of classes, you trudge your way back to your dorm room, almost dragging your back behind you. when you make it, you throw yourself on the bed, your schoolbag abandoned by the door, which you hadn't even managed to shut fully.

what will become of you? of your friends? of your teachers? of shoto? there is a possible chance that you could die in the very near future. it seemed like yesterday you had just gotten your hero's license, and now you were about to risk everything for the sake of... strangers? the world? who knew what shigaraki had planned.

you were too tired to think about it anymore. you just wanted to be at home with your parents, but you couldn't tell them what was about to happen.

for a little while, you lay there, thinking about everything related to the war. how you could lose your friends, you could lose limbs, your life, how easy it is to just run away, etc., when your door creaks open slightly and you hear a small knock. a handsome face makes its way into the room.

"hey, baby. you know, you shouldn't keep your door open." you just sigh, not replying. shoto makes his way around your bed, carefully sitting next to your body.

"what's up, angel?"

"i'm just worried about the war, sho. what about you?"

he just hums and starts to stroke your hair. you wait a while, but he still gives no reply.

his eyes wander around the room, until they lock onto your cat, who lazily made its way out of your bathroom.

"looks like Walter has pretty nice digs in here. i really love your room."

you sigh again, moving so his hand falls off your head.

"sho…"

"what?" he asks, very gently.

"could you just pretend to care about what's happening, please?"

"you think I don't care?"

"i think we could be dead in two day's time, and you’re being emotional detachment guy."

"would it help if i panicked?"

"yes! it'd be swell! panic is a thing people can share in times of crisis, and everything is really scary now, you know? and I don't know what's gonna happen. and there's all sorts of things that you're supposed to get to do after high school, and you know what? i was really looking forward to them! like moving into a place of our own, maybe fighting alongside each other, being famous, maybe even the wacky notion of children! i would love to have children with you, and you know how much i hate kids and how pregnancy scares me. and... and now we're probably just gonna die, and i'd like to feel that maybe you would-"

your rant was interrupted when he grabbed the back of your head, grip tight on your hair, and smushed his lips on yours. for a few seconds, you stayed like that until you pulled away, slightly surprised.

"what are you doing?"

"panicking."

he maneuvered his head to continue what he was doing before, and the rest of the class didn't hear from the two of you until the next morning, when shoto walked out of your dorm room, instead of his.

author's note: OH MY GOD, I FINALLY FINISHED ONE. the ending is absolute shit, but I'm literally in my shitty school, and i so do not feel comfortable finishing this. i feel so paranoid that the teachers are watching me write fanfiction, and i am so not ok with that. school is kicking my butt rn, but i'm going to try to pump out some more fics soon... i don't want to say tonight, because that might not happen, so don't be mad. PLEASEPLEASEPLEASE SEND IDEAS. i'm burnt out.

[ikiprian]

kip wip of ur choice? :3🤲

DAISY DAISY I LOVE YOU IM SORRY I FORGOT TO ANSWER!!! i forgot. that inbox is a thing i need to check. have longish oc brainrot, salem & angel, big cousin & baby cousin beloveds <3

Angel knows Salem better than he would probably like. In the cracks of his kind-compassionate-confident facade lies something neglected, dust swirling through the open air, stirring wildly with the heave of his lungs. He crumbles and rots, desperately splashes fresh paint over the decay, and it says something about their family that she knows the whys of it better through news articles than first person accounts.

Angel’s a good cousin, though. Her role is easy: she’ll lean in close, mirror his fear, let him comfort her like she’s much younger than she is so he may draw his own safety from the action.

Here, with his face tucked into her hair, she doesn’t even have to exaggerate her expression. She curls herself small and does her best to fit into the hollow space beneath his ribcage.

She wonders if Sam used to fit here, so perfectly, or if he’d chafed within Salem’s frantic hold. She doesn’t remember a lot— a cheeky smile, a hand-me-down toy chest, the punchline of a joke— but she knows they used to fight. Salem would never let family do stupid shit alone, and Sam had been desperate to establish himself as an individual, to split the set.

(This deduction had been extrapolated from stories stolen across the hall, nights when the grownups cracked open their beers and let themselves laugh and grieve. Angel often wonders why she’s not invited. Hadn’t Sam been her family, too? Hadn’t Tito James and Tita Teres?)

(Maybe this is why Salem moved out. He can’t stand their silence, either.)

“It’s okay, it’s okay,” Salem hums, haltingly. “I’m here. It’s okay.”

Angel sniffs and pushes herself against him again, slides a hand around his back as if to cling. With practiced hands she shores up damaged frames.

There’s more, she sees, to unpack. She’s read all the articles he’s ever texted her. Probably, she could pass a college-level abnormal psych exam without even studying. But he’s not her client, and she’s not trying to be his therapist. What she is is his beloved cousin, and what he is is falling apart. She’ll hold up what she can, whenever he’ll allow it, and in return he’ll spoil and impress her with his gifts and time and advice. They’ll pretend this is a one-way street, this giving, and leave it at that.

“I’m here, I’m here,” he repeats, barely a murmur. He holds her tight, and every time his grip loosens, it trembles. She notices that he doesn’t let it loose often.

You’re here, Angel thinks back. Maybe she’ll develop her own superpowers. Contact-based telepathy. The only way to get it through his thick skull.

She thinks it as hard and she can while he leans on her.

You’re here. It’s okay.

[averagebacchaereader]

may 8th

Liza

Christian (get it because priests are… y’know) 

CW: heavy sexual content, religion. 

CHRISTIAN takes centre stage. kneels. 

CHRISTIAN: i am a depraved man. cruel. i see wicked things, and i savour them, i run my tongue along them, soaking in every taste and i’d beg for more, i would. i do. i crave passion and sex because it makes me feel alive. desire makes me feel alive. sometimes i think it’s the only thing, and that’s fucked, there’s more to life than sex, i- but when i feel her. god. when i feel her. it’s vibrant. how she trembles. how i… respond. every twitch is sticks breaking ahead of me, i’m a wolf, a fox with a mouth dripping blood, i need to nurse on a fleeing rabbit. feral. disgusting. god help me. i pray, but i… it’s hollow. no words will make me stop wanting this. no faith. i’m ruined. i’m… no longer human. i feel something worse. 

LIZA appears behind him, lit from behind, an angel. 

CHRISTIAN: i feel everything. more. i feel nothing. i feel angels, i feel hurt. burning. everywhere. 

LIZA: oh, take pity. 

CHRISTIAN: angels. 

LIZA: get up. 

he does. still, he does not turn to face her. 

LIZA: you want me. 

CHRISTIAN: more than anything. 

LIZA: you’re a dog. 

CHRISTIAN: i know. 

LIZA: i spit on you. 

CHRISTIAN says nothing. 

LIZA: hm. men. i tailor myself to you, and it takes, it takes, it takes. look how you flush. are you embarrassed? 

CHRISTIAN: i-

LIZA: don’t speak. 

she’s right behind him now. laces a hand over his chest. she feels his heart. 

LIZA: so close. and is this god to you? 

he says nothing. 

LIZA: speak. 

CHRISTIAN: yes. 

LIZA: you feel your life in my hand. 

CHRISTIAN: yes. 

LIZA: you want me closer.

CHRISTIAN: i want to consume you. 

LIZA: greedy. 

CHRISTIAN: always. 

LIZA: and you’d still want more. 

CHRISTIAN: you’re an exceptional slab of meat. 

LIZA: i’m an absurdist piece of theatre nobody gets but everyone pretends to understand. i’m a mouthpiece for a despondent author. no i’m not. yes i am. i’m a carefully crafted divinity in the form of a woman. i’m whatever skincare routine is currently trending. i’m fucking ancient and i’ve eaten boys alive, starting from the wrists. i swallow. 

CHRISTIAN: yeah, fu-

LIZA: yeah. 

CHRISTIAN: i want you. 

LIZA: he wants me, he wants me. am i supposed to feel good?

CHRISTIAN: i feel you press against my back. 

LIZA: you’re flushed. you swell. 

CHRISTIAN: you’re the hottest fucking thing i’ve ever seen. 

LIZA: i’m a nightmare. i drip in grime. i’m obsessed with blood and entrails. 

CHRISTIAN: i’d give you mine. 

LIZA: what?

CHRISTIAN: intestines, and shit. 

LIZA: hm. 

CHRISTIAN: if you’ll bite my chest. tear me open with your teeth. 

LIZA: i’ll think about it. 

CHRISTIAN: you think about me?

LIZA: sometimes. 

CHRISTIAN: i pray for you. 

LIZA: i heard. is that helping much?

CHRISTIAN: it’s making everything worse. 

LIZA: typical. you can get back on your knees, now. 

he does. 

CHRISTIAN: gladly. 

she moves, to be beside him now. he can finally look at her, and he does, greedy, drinking her in. maybe throw in a whimper or two. 

LIZA: weakness. slobber. you drool for me. 

CHRISTIAN: i can- 

LIZA: it’s a metaphor. 

CHRISTIAN: huh?

LIZA: shh. just go with it. 

CHRISTIAN nods. 

LIZA: i am fond of you, after all that. 

CHRISTIAN: yes. 

LIZA: it’s unfortunate. 

CHRISTIAN: collar me. 

LIZA: god what is it with all of you?? “collar me”?? 

CHRISTIAN: i- 

LIZA: sorry. i’m being rude. i love you. i like your silly curly hair. 

CHRISTIAN: it’s not curly. 

LIZA: no, but when it- sometimes it looks like it is. 

CHRISTIAN: uh.

LIZA gets down on her knees. 

LIZA: you’re boring me. grab my tits. 

he does. hungrily. 

CHRISTIAN: will you kiss me?

LIZA: will you eat me?

CHRISTIAN: i’d be glad to. 

LIZA: the sentiment is returned. 

LIZA kisses him. they embrace. a sort of peace. eventually, they fuck. this can be as abstract as wanted, haha theatre weird stupid theatre stuff metaphors wow drama i’m so educated and good at writing. 

LIZA (during sex): i don’t believe in holiness. i used to, i was raised religious, but i don’t think anyone is pure, and i don’t think anyone is “ruined”. greed is natural and not something you can be trained out of. no one is entirely selfless, and if they are, i’m sure they think they’re not, and guilt is imperfect. impure. i wish i could believe in god, but i don’t, i don’t want to think there’s someone up there judging us off a stupid, rigged universe. you want me to believe in god, the christian god, when the majority of christians are portrayed as- you know? in the media? i am not homophobic, or transphobic, or anything like that, i think people should believe in whatever they want, all that stuff. i don’t think it’s right for god to condemn me for not wanting to stand with a crowd that’s so often represented like that. and if he is going to condemn me, i may as well get a couple orgasms out of it. god, that's good. harder.

AUTHOR’S NOTES

i must be the most fuckable and esoteric fisherman at the pond. 

what was i listening to while writing?

my slut playlist for sluts of course!

[motownfiction]

archangel

cw: discussion of religion, mainly catholicism

Spelling tests were bad enough in elementary school English classes. Now, in an eighth-grade religion class, Charlie has to take another spelling test? In cursive? It feels like the world is ending, and not just because his cursive N’s look like M’s.

It’s just so rote. It feels like a waste of time. They could be doing anything in these religion classes, like studying the language of the Bible, and what do they do? They make get-well cards that never actually get mailed out, paint bowls for some weird Lenten soup gathering, and take spelling tests on Christian words. The teacher doesn’t know what else to do, and no one else seems to think it’s a problem.

Charlie does, though. He’d love to think about the Bible as literature, at the very least. Lucy Callaghan’s parents have a colleague who does that. When Charlie discovered that was a thing, he suddenly became very excited for college. Going to religion class in junior high is a chore. It’s the place where a lady shouts propaganda in your face, and you’re not even sure if she fully believes everything she’s saying. But that’s not what it’s like in college. In college, it’s about words. It’s about art. It’s about history. It’s everything Charlie can get behind without any of the inane spelling tests.

Maybe he’s just mad because he can never remember how to spell archangel.

It’s that damn H. Stupid letter. Has no reason being there. He decides he hates the letter H more than any letter in the alphabet. Shame he has one in his name. Shame he has to be thankful for it, too. His brother, Sam, reminded him once that without the H in his name, he’d be Carlie, which sounds like a soap opera star. Then he talked for ten unbroken minutes about how being a soap opera star would be the ideal level of stardom. Charlie’s still angry about that, and he’s still pretending he doesn’t know why.

Archangel.

He tries to go over the spelling in his head, but he just can’t stay focused. He’s singing to the tune of “Earth Angel” instead. Archangel … archangel … would you be mine? It’s stupid. He’s stupid. Isn’t he?

He can’t think about that.

What is an archangel, anyway? For all this time spent in Catholic school, he’s never actually learned what an archangel is. It sounds like a really fancy type of angel.

But apparently that’s wrong. Because when he brings it up in front of Sam, he tells Charlie an archangel is the next-to-weakest type of angel in Christian theology. Charlie asks him how he knows that, and Sam has the gall to shrug.

Read it in the textbook, he says. It’s got some interesting shit if you give it a chance.

Of course Sam read the textbook. Their teacher never assigned a word out of it (preferred her own propaganda), and Charlie – out of laziness – never opened it. It’s just like Sam to read it, anyway. He’s always reading things that aren’t assigned to him and burning the things that are.

What nerve.

And where can Charlie get some of his own?

He looks at the list of spelling words again.

Archangel … archangel … the one I adore …

The song won’t leave his head, and he gets the spelling wrong again.

(part of @nosebleedclub june challenge -- day xxx!)

[lacrimosathedark]

Insomnia's a bitch is how I have time lol

But I have more because my brain is a silly little guy and likes literary analysis and these two have my brain in a chokehold.

A relationship with Alastor would be ENTIRELY different than Lucifer's relationship with Lilith. Because from the looks of it, before Lilith started growing distant for whatever reason, Lucifer was a smitten little wife guy. Golden retriever husband. "Wifey can do no wrong and despite being stronger, I'm a glorified cheerleader and I love it." But Alastor? They'd be arguing CONSTANTLY. It'd probably usually be meant in jest, but there's almost always antagonism there. Which is funny.

Lucifer being as strong as he is could both restrict and empower Alastor. Restrict him in that Lucifer is actually, y'know, nice (and his daughter is even nicer and Lucifer will do anything to make Charlie happy), and to avoid making Lucifer sad or getting himself pulverized, Alastor might have to be just a bit less cruel and ruthless from there out. But also, he now has the backing of the Literal Devil--no one in Hell could stop Alastor from doing literally anything he wanted and honestly, good for him, he deserves some chaos.

Lucifer is awkward as shit. Lilith was clearly the one who did more political maneuvering. Not that he can't, but he's clearly out of practice, as seen with Mimzy.

Alastor, meanwhile, is a conniving little shit. And an Overlord. And likely had to genially claw his way to his radio host position in life, given his was a POC in the 1920s which...yikies. Political maneuverings are kind of his deal (teehee). So Alastor could be a very helpful guide in making sure Lucifer doesn't make himself look stupid. Which, I mean, again, this man is awkward as fuck and equal parts self-confident and self-loathing.

Alastor loves to dance, and I personally have a soft spot for seeing him dance with everybody. Pretty much anyone else would just let Alastor lead, but I feel like it would be very push and pull with Lucifer. And it starts off competitive but ends up just kind of flowing back and forth. And just, Lucifer laughing and having fun makes me happy.

Lucifer and Lilith have Gomez and Morticia Addams vibes. But like...maybe think of two sides of Morticia. The one who is quietly supportive, embodies elegance and grace, who gives passive but clearly pleased smiles at being openly adored by her husband and finds his silly hobbies endlessly charming. That's Lilith. The other side is the one whose expression no one but her partner can really read, who enjoys sticking to the shadows but also being the center of attention, and views violence as a sign of affection. That's Alastor lmao

So many Radioapple fics contain healing Alastor's wound from his fight with Adam which there's a LOT of things that go into that.

Wounds made with angelic steel heal slower, if at all, and can kill Sinners. Alastor had a slash nearly from his clavicle to his hip. That's a lot of exposed guts. But of course, he needs to keep up his facade of control and pretend everything's fine, all the while pushing himself while injured, possibly making the wound worse.

Lucifer, as an angel, could logically be able to heal him when quite possibly no one else could (idk if there's even a hospital in Pride and Alastor can't exactly go to Sloth) but that puts Alastor in an extremely vulnerable position, putting his fate in the hands of a man who openly disdains him and is much more powerful, and seeing Alastor at his weakest.

But being forced into that position, ex. Lucifer just kind of figuring out he's injured and insisting on healing him, might force Alastor to see Lucifer a bit differently. Alastor has no choice but to be vulnerable, and Lucifer doesn't take advantage or cause more harm other than possibly being sarcastic and bitchy, but Alastor's not gonna be a stellar patient either. In that position, it might invoke reluctant gratitude in Alastor, which could build up into a friendship or other kind of relationship.

I also personally can't really see Alastor romantically with anyone else. Rosie feels like platonic soulmate/married for tax benefits, Mimzy seems one-sided, and Vox gives off scorned ex vibes. Anyone else feels like there's nothing to build on. But Lucifer had his attention from the moment he stepped into the building, and it wasn't until Husk's little mishap that Lucifer was out of his sight. And then he kinda showed off against those loan sharks.

I'm demisexual (and possibly grey or demi aro too?) and I will admit to lowkey projecting on Alastor. The number of non-fictional crushes I've had in my life I can count on one hand, and as a child I was so confused. Celebrity crushes, hookups, one night stands, anything about sexual attraction or interest made no sense to me. I imagine Alastor having a similar experience in life, being confused by the sheer need of those around him, and just prioritizing other things, like his work. And now that he's dead, like, if someone comes along, cool, but he has no reason to go looking when he's perfectly happy and content with being the feared Radio Demon.

Which is why I think Alastor suddenly realizing he finds Lucifer attractive in one way or another is very funny. I just find it extra funny if it's his demonic traits, because he sure as shit wouldn't have seen that anywhere before lol

Viv has said Alastor was a Mama's Boy and fans have definitely run with that--but that can also go so many ways with Lucifer. Like, at first blush, Lucifer seems like a cruel, neglectful father who tried to crush his daughter's dream. Which could be part of why Alastor was so aggressive in their first interaction. He saw Lucifer as a terrible father and he (albeit reluctantly) cares about Charlie, so Lucifer's neglect feels like a personal slight.

In reality, Lucifer was severely depressed and anxious, and was only trying to crush Charlie's dream to keep her from getting more hurt. And as he makes up with her, Alastor doesn't step in at all. He watches alongside everyone else, standing with Niffty opposite Vaggie.

That's so cute.

And Viv knew what she was doing with this

Their faces are unnecessarily close and Lucifer is grabbing his fucking coat lol I'm under no delusions that this is anything but intense aggression, but like...imagine them arguing in public.

Imagine the tabloids.

Also apparently they both canonically like bad jokes. Like puns and dad jokes. Imagine the chaos that could be unleashed if they decided to combine their pun powers. You would hear the groans from fucking HEAVEN. No one would ever be safe again lmao

Okay so my friend and I are having a debate rn over whether or not Radioapple is a good ship

(And for anyone who wants to come at me, yes ik Alastor is aroace, yes I know this isn't gonna be canon, this ship is just for my enjoyment, no hate to no-one who don't like it)

But I need quotes for my argument!

(we're doing presentations over this, between 15-125 slides and we've got an unbiased party choosing)

Anybody got any reasons I can credit in my slideshow abt how Radioapple is a decent ship???

[hells-plaid-angel]

Dean hasn’t slept for three days, which is a new low even for him. Usually, he can manage to wrangle together four hours of shut-eye and call it a night, but lately, his mind has been extra loud, either that or his bedroom has been extra quiet. After sprawling his long limbs out, over both sides of the bed, he’d also admit the space felt too big for him. Buying a king bed felt like a luxury he’d owed himself when he’d finally got a base at the bunker but now, it just felt like a promise he’d made to himself he knew he could never keep. The bed was big enough for two people. Two bedside tables, two lamps, and half an unused closet. Dean’s room spoke volumes and it spoke loudly. 

He decided to give up on the idea of sleep and wander the halls of the bunker where he eventually finds Cas, curled up in the study, leafing through a dusty tome. Cas didn’t sleep. If Dean was going to be an insomniac, at least he could be one in good company. He plonks down in the chair beside Cas, exchanges a few words and the next thing he knows he hears the movement of feet and the loud churn and grind of the coffee machine. Sam’s awake and it’s morning. Dean moves his eyes to find Cas is still where Dean remembered him. His mum always told him angels were watching over him. At the time it’d been comforting. At finding out angels existed and 90% of them were jackasses, the sentiment lost some of its charms. However, maybe Dean could find some comfort in it again. 

The next night he faces the same dilemma, the vastness of the bed and the whiteness of the walls.  He’s about halfway through reminding himself of every stupid thing he’s done wrong this year when he decides, screw it and gets up to walk the halls again. This time, he finds Cas in the bunker’s kitchen. He’s not sure what the hell the guy’s up to, contemplating the walls by the looks of it. He never let himself sit and think too hard about what Cas did while the rest of the bunker’s inhabitance slept. Dean makes a cup of coffee and sits down beside Cas. The next thing he knows, someone’s shaking his shoulder. 

Dean furrows his brow as he opens his eyes to see the bunker kitchen tilted. He’s laying down, he realises after a moment and there’s a heat at his back. Christ, he’s in Cas’ lap. 

“Sam’s almost awake,” Cas informs him as though knowing Dean wouldn’t want his brother to catch him and his best friend in such a compromising position. Was compromising the right word? Compromising implies they were doing something wrong. They weren’t, right?

“You fell asleep at the table, it didn’t look very comfortable so I moved you,” Cas continued answering Dean’s unspoken question. Right. Weird as hell, but alright. 

Dean was adamant he was going to man up and sleep alone on the third night. He didn’t need Cas acting as some goddamn guardian angel to keep all his bad dreams away. That was kids’ stuff. Except he couldn’t sleep. He refused to go crawling back to Cas but he also didn’t sleep. Not that night, or the next. 

Three nights without sleep again and the world was getting hazy, Dean was getting sloppy, he was jumping at shadows. He really needed to sleep. Screw his dignity. He was going to find Cas. He searched the bunker, this time he found Cas in his room, the door left slightly ajar. This felt more intimate. Dean didn’t want to open the can of worms he knew asking to sleep in Cas’ room would entail, so he hightailed it out of there, like a dejected dog with its tail between its legs. 

He lay in his room once again, reverting to counting the cracks in the roof when he heard his door open. It was Cas. Dean pretends to be sleeping. 

“Did you know when you’re asleep your heartbeat drops considerably?” Cas asks in the world-weary, sarcastic tone Dean keeps forgetting he’s capable of. 

“And you snore.” 

“Dude, I don’t snore,” Dean shoots back sitting up. Shit. 

Cas gives him an ‘I told you so,’ look before moving to sit on the end of Dean’s bed.  He doesn’t have to ask Cas to stay, he doesn’t have to say that’s what he wants, but the guy seems to know. 

After two nights of this, Dean gets sick of feeling the heat of Cas’ body at the foot of his bed, like the guy’s a dog or a throw rug. So he sits up and gently tugs on Cas’ trench coat until he gets the hint and lays beside Dean. Suddenly his bed doesn’t seem so huge, it feels like just the right size. 

[nowgiveusakiss]

if eddie was dating someone with opposite music tastes to him, he is def making fun of you. and when you make him a mixtape of all those cheesy romance songs, fully knowing he will hate everything on it, he will tell you to keep it. that he’s “not listening to that shit”. but you play it for him anyways. he’ll pretend it annoys the hell out of him but secretly loves when you sing those cheesy lyrics to him. squishing his face in your hands while you sing to him about being head over heels. he will roll his eyes, push you away. “babe, stop. i don’t find this amusing.” but hearing your endless giggles at his annoyance makes him fall even harder. 

and during those heated make out sessions in the back of his van at lovers lake, one of those cheesy songs will come on the radio. god help him when you can’t stop yourself from putting on a show for him. the first beat is enough to stop you in your tracks, both of your eyes widening. yours in excitement, eddie’s in fear of what has just been unleashed from five seconds of a shitty song. “sweetheart… don’t you dare…” but oh, you do dare. straddling his lap, hands wandering his entire body as you belt out the lyrics. on the outside, he is the picture perfect definition of pure frustration but really his heart is about to beat out of his chest. so full of adoration he thinks he might just die. when the song ends, you’re a mess. out of breath, chest heaving, cheeks flushed, a grin of satisfaction on your lips. a mess, yes. but his mess. eddie’s pretty little mess.

you pretend that the mixtape is purely a joke. a fun thing for the two of you. not to be taken seriously. however, you don’t go anywhere without that mixtape. on those lonely nights away from eddie, you’ll listen to those songs. maybe shed a tear or two. it’s silly, you think. how silly of you to get attached to such corny songs. it’s not like he’s gone forever. it’s only been two days since you last saw him. but you just can’t help but let your mind wander to the moments those songs have been the soundtrack of. in the back of his van. in his trailer. your emotions are just too much to bear. so sure. you let a few stray tears fall. there’s no shame in that.

if you think you have it bad, think of how eddie feels. dropping you back off at your house late at night. watching you walk up to your front door from his van. not after pulling you back several times to share a kiss or two… or three… or who are you kidding, you lost count after the eighth time. “eds, i really have to go. i work tomorrow!” but you know putting up a fight is pointless. “it’s just one more kiss, doll! don’t you want to give your man another kiss before he has to watch you walk away?” always the dramatics with eddie. he’ll finally let you go. counting down the minutes until he can see you again. back at his trailer, your smell still lingers. a shirt of yours on his bedroom floor. a hair tie on his dresser. and something else.. your mixtape. he’ll consider using it as an excuse to drive back to your house. but no, you really should get some sleep. he doesn’t want his angel losing any sleep. he should put it somewhere for safe keeping. he’ll toss and turn all night, missing you. your warmth next to his. your hair tickling his face. the way his arm falls asleep from the weight of your head. he gives up the idea of sleep for the night. opting for a cigarette on the trailer steps instead when he notices your mixtape. still just sitting there. “this is so stupid” he’ll think to himself as he puts the tape into his stereo. and so he listens to your mixtape all night. missing you. as much as he tells himself how those songs are utter shit, he finds himself humming along. blushing at the memory of you on his lap, whispering the lyrics in his ear, goosebumps running down his spine. finally lulling himself to sleep.

a few days later, you’re back at his trailer. “i was looking everywhere for this!” he hopes you don’t notice that it had been sitting in his stereo since the night you left. you most definitely do. obviously you have to ask him what this “shitty” music was doing in his radio. a smirk on your face. he denies denies denies. “you must’ve left it in there, babe. you know i wouldn’t listen to that crap on my own free will.” you drop the subject. he’s glad you do because he can’t damage his image by letting you know he spent every night listening to that god forsaken tape.

he pretends the mixtape is just a joke. a fun thing for the two of you. but to him, it’s a collection of little poems that remind him just how truly loved he is by you. should he ever forget. and that means everything to him. he would move heaven and earth just to save that dumb mixtape. of course, he would never admit that to you. 

[barbiewritesstuff]

So my brain is a lost cause at this point there's just neurons and random sparks but nothing is computing

Like that ever shuts me up though

You were going to pray and you got smutty thoughts because of me !! I shouldn't but I'm totally cackling like a deranged hyena rn im sorry xD

ANYWAY

FUC- THAT WAS TO DIE FOR you made it so much better than it was in my head !!

Now I know you said you’d walk in afterwards but can you imagine being in the meeting? SHIT SHIT SHIT YOU MADE IT BETTER THAT WOULD BE ... FUC- IDEK ?!? THAT WOULD BE SERIOUS MAVERICK LEVEL DANGEROUS BEHAVIOUR THOUGH! THE GLARE CYCLONE SENT ALONE WOULD RENDER YOU TO ASH AT THE SPOT

He’s standing there looking fine - See it ain't even your fault who can resist that man?!?

“Don’t know if my uniform is up to code Admiral…” THAT IS SO CORNY I WOULD TOTALLY SAY THAT THO CACKLING AGAIN

(you’re saved under ‘Brat’ because that’s what you are) OF COURSE IM A BRAT DUHH

Maverick is going over everything he’s done this week just to check whether he’s going to get screamed at, Warlock is shooting daggers at Maverick, the entire team (you pretend because you’re a little shit) is mentally sending their family goodbye letters and exchanging worried glances. I CAN ACTUALLY PICTURE THIS ENTIRE SCENE AND ALL THEIR EXPRESSIONS AND I AM DEAD THIS IS PEAK COMEDY I WANT THIS SO BAD XDDDDD

Hondo, poor, sweet, sweet angel Hondo, who has just accidentally had a very good look at what the Admiral received via text is honestly reconsidering his career because Admiral Simpson is a possessive man. If he finds out Hondo knows, he will kill him. OH FUCK BERNIE YOU'RE DEAD MAN. RUN. V V V V FAR AWAY. (THE ADMIRAL'S GONNA BE A BIT BUSY ANYWAY WINKWINK) poor Bernie tho??? He's probably traumatised for life?? He didn't wanna know that about you?? And definitely not the Admiral hell he won't be looking him in the eye for a month xD Also the image of possessive Beau is just *so good*.

I mean you give him the best performance of your life, especially since he tells you he’s not going to touch you for a week as punishment. NO SHIT DONT DO THAT I'M SORRRYYYY

In conclusion:

I AM DEAD

Glad you got some amusement from my predicament this morning XD

Okay so Cyclone's glare? It almost makes you regret the entire operation. I mean you think the man is going to reach across the conference room and make you pay for it right then and there.

Imean you're ready to beg for forgiveness as soon as he cocks his head sighly to the side and shoots you the look, but at the same time, you also think that Beau is one of those rare people who get hotter the angrier they are. Or maybe that's just because you know what happens when he does get mad?

I mean, let's not kid ourselves, you're pissing him off on purpose, because when he gets past a point, Beau just snaps. And last time he snapped he railed you against his desk until you could no longer speak. You're absolutely trying to recreate that.

But you regret dragging the team into it (not Rooster though, he deserves the twenty minutes of fear he's going to live through for trapping you in a conversation about Star Wars with resident expert Fanboy last Tuesday) because they look like they're absolutely shitting themselves. Especially Hondo.

Because you know he's seen the picture. When Beau opens his phone and sees the picture, Bernie happens to be looking down and he stutters. No one else notices, and you're almost certain it's a coincidence when Hondo briefly glances at you with such a shocked expression. You know what he's thinking. He's already planning the purchase of a foreign passport on the black market, becaude he absolutely can never set foot in San Diego again!! He will never be able to speak to the Admiral without having that stupid picture flash before his eyes!!

And of course Beau's lying through his teeth when he tells you he won't touch you, but he has to make you believe that so you get desperate. He's absolutely going to be balls deep inside you by Wednesday because he needs to relieve the stress Maverick causes him on the daily. And maybe he needs to punish you one more time, you know, just so he knows you got the message.

EDIT: needed to fix so many typos because this prompt just made me dumb, I love it. I may have missed some but you know...

[bubupop]

Looking for you (idol!MC)

Warning: Might be OOC at times. English is not my first language. A little angst(?) No beta reader.

Hi! I’m so excited to share this one with you ! I’ve been wanting to publish this one for a while and I’m glad I finally get to !!! Hope you enjoy it^^ ------------

It was an accident. And, most of the time, accidents couldn’t be expected. But they should have known better, they should have protected you at all cost. Yes, the Devildom wasn’t the nicest or safest place for a human but that week of occurrences was ridiculous. Let 's summarize it. You made a friend, Mandy. And she was a control freak, a mean girl wanna be. Anyways, to the point. She tried to be friends with you, went crazy when she couldn’t manipulate you and neither weasel her way into your powerful circle of friends life. Tried multiple ways of harming you pretending they were all accidents and when the brothers began to question her and separate you two she went ballistic. It was terrifying, really. She began to copy your looks, mannerisms, and just tried to monopolize the House of Lamentation and those attempts were not well received and soon shot down by all the brothers. It was very ‘sad cringe’ by Levi’s words. Anyhow, she tried to poison you and almost succeeded. And so she was expelled from RAD and banned from the HoL. But turns out Mandy was also very stupid, and dumb shit happens when stupid people think they’re smart.

So, she asked Solomon, of all damned people, about these flowers she wanted to gift you as a last apology and he said the only thing those flowers did, actually, was bloom and release a gas that would make a human laugh and laugh but you could just easily wash and change to some clean clothes and badabing badaboom, good as new. She beamed. He did alert Simeon and the royals of his concerns and they agreed to let it happen and witness it so they can have a reason to further punish her –I mean, how dare she try to harm beloved MC– they were all pretty done with her at that point. But, then again, Mandy was stupid. The flowers she ended up giving you were very similar ones but the effects were a coma. In a sad attempt to have a petty revenge she ended up almost killing you. When you received the flower and it released its gas you soon passed out,breaking your arm. That accident left a rip in the relationship of all your friends as the brothers weren’t aware of what was gonna happen and it obviously almost gave them a heart attack and Luke was pretty pissed off too.

That flower was rare and they weren’t expecting it and so they had to find a way to cure you. It was stressful to say the least, it looked as if you were dead and if not for your rising chest every time you took a breath they didn’t know what they would have done. The hours went into days and days into weeks and you were still sleeping. Their only comfort was that you weren’t in pain due to your broken arm. It soon took a toll on them all. Helpless was a perfect word to describe it, guilt, too. But what was done was done and there was nothing they could do to change it. They began arguing. They were arguing and you weren’t awake to scold them, you weren’t there to pull their ears and yell at them for being idiotic. To tell them this wasn’t the time to fight. MC, their beloved MC. It goes without saying that it brought back memories. Regrets and more feelings long forgotten. All the stress, anxiety and grief soon tensed up the environment.They took turns to care for you and look for a way to bring you back but things weren’t looking up and then they made the decision. MC was to no longer reside in the Devildom as it was deemed too unsafe. This rash decision made under stress seemed like a solution to the heartbreak. Maybe you weren’t meant to be with them, maybe it was true. All the pessimistic emotions weighed heavy in their head. You were too fragile and they weren’t fit to take care of you. Could humans, demons and angels really be able to coexist in peace?

So they let you go. They all came to terms with what was going to happen as soon as you were starting to come back. They hid your pacts as they were afraid you were too weak to get them removed from you, it was easy enough with a spell. You were groggy and barely a shell of who you used to be, still too out of it to comprehend what was happening.

Next thing you knew you woke up in a hospital bed. You had had an accident in a private academy you were in and were sent home, apparently the academy was no more and you had no recollection of the time you spent there. It was due to your accident, the medical staff all said. But you were so confused and felt you were missing something. What was it? You couldn’t really say. But what can you do about it? Nothing. And life went on.

—-------

Three years later.

Since you’ve been gone hell had become somehow colder. The exchange program continued without you, only Simeon, Solomon and Luke being a part of it now. They all pretended it was all alright but the other demons knew something was wrong. Where was the cutesy tiny human? The one that was always around? Any attempt at questioning was discouraged with a glance. It seemed as if the brothers became more cynical, quicker to be enraged and bothered to lower demons. They almost seemed as if they were grieving. A decision taken too quick and too rash was bound to have its consequences were they aware of it or not. They soon reverted to the worst versions of themselves and there was nothing and no one to stop that.

They tried distinct things to cope with the loss of you.  Not that one was better than the other. Your room was kept tidy and all the same. Your secret not-so-secret stash of candy was kept untouched, your blankets a mess only when Belphegor went in to nap. He was allowed to only on special occasions so as not to disturb the scent you left behind. If he was there when he wasn’t allowed to he would be kicked out mostly by Satan or Lucifer. Mammon would walk in, admire your room in silence and walk out all the same. Beelzebub would come in from time to time, too. Look at your knick knacks and play his beloved memories of you in his head. Asmodeus wasn’t brave enough to enter, neither was Leviathan. But time doesn’t wait for anybody. It kept going and going without any mercy. Simeon and Solomon wouldn’t talk much to the brothers either now, half of it from guilt. But things changed since you were gone and they missed you so, so much.

Both Barbatos and Diavolo wished they had spent more time with you. Many times they considered just switching timelines but time itself wasn’t something they felt like playing with. Luke wished he would have baked more with you. Life without you was depressing and dull. How have they managed before you was a question left unanswered. 

But you were a stubborn little thing, it seemed. He thought he was dreaming, Lucifer that is. In one of his trips to the human world he dreaded so much –as it made him think of you and how he couldn’t, wouldn’t, dare approach you. So close yet so far away from his reach– he saw it. In a pamphlet, in a TV commercial. It was you. Older, prettier, healthier. Your cheeks red and eyes glowing with excitement. A concert is going to be held soon for your band. Apparently you weren’t just moping around these past years. He smiled slightly at the thought, proud of you. You little devil. During his stay in the human world he kept seeing your face around, in big TV screens and some merchandise, too. What had happened, it seemed, it’s that you were a rising star! Your first single was a hit and soon you scored a deal with a record company. Everyone kept talking about you in both good and bad lights. How did you make it happen so fast? Just who were you? It was because you were a little cute, wasn’t it. How unfair there were so many others that deserved that chance! From a hit song to a band you became the second most popular member. His chest was puffed and heart was swollen with pride. Of course his dear MC would make it! Anything you put your mind to you always managed to do, that’s the MC he knew and adored.

Soon his trip was over and he went back home, grinning. It did scare the living shit out of his brothers and even the other members of the council as he called a meeting almost immediately. It’s essential he informed the others of this discovery. And boy did they beamed. They were cute compilation videos of you all around the human internet. You, sleeping with your mouth wide open and your teammates making fun of you in live. You, eating like a hamster. You giggling while running away from a prank you pulled. You, you all around. After the meeting they all privately took time to look around for more info about you. The twins and Mammon in Levi’s room laughing at your interviews. Asmo and Satan listening to a podcast were you talked about dumb conspiracy theories. Lucifer and Barbatos enjoying the song Diavolo picked from your album. The Purgatory Hall boys enjoying the voice over you did of a book while enjoying their own separate activities. It was like having a part of you.

At the end of the day, however, there was a question lingering in their mind. Are you happier now? Without them? Were you actually miserable with them and you had silenced your heart from speaking up? They couldn’t blame you, they wouldn’t as they knew better that it wasn’t always sunshine and rainbow with them. But you can’t expect feelings to be rational at all.

Then the day of your concert arrived and they all got together to watch it live from the House of Lamentation lounge. Diavolo went as far as to buy a bigger sofa for them all to enjoy. The mood hadn’t been so joyful for so long they all felt like themselves again.

In the middle of the singing and dancing your band suddenly stopped and let you take the center position. You were sweating and breathing heavily, your chest rising and falling, eyes glossy. And then you spoke.

“Hi.” You started awkwardly. The lounge full of men giggled and chuckled like the people in the concert did. You were so cute. “As many of you know I was in an accident some years ago, where I lost all my memories.” The laughing stopped. “While I’m fully healed physically I can’t keep this feeling out of my heart that I’m forgetting something, maybe someone.” The whole room contained their breath now. “I’m sorry I couldn’t find you, I tried by any means possible. You may not know this,” You looked at the people. “but my main reason to become an idol was with the hopes of reaching you.” You held the microphone close to your chest. “I couldn’t find you, so I’m singing with the hopes that you’ll find me!” You did a ridiculously low bow that was almost laughable as the whole stadium was in silence now. You looked up, tears falling from your eyes and sliding off your cheeks and chin. “Tonight I’m singing with the hopes that you’ll listen to it and will find me! Please enjoy my new song “Looking for you.”