#maybe I'm just autistic
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god i fucking love lecture writing. so much better than seminar teaching, where i have to get students to the answer on their own. no, let me just tell you the answer. professional-sized infodump of my Ultra Correct Opinions.
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Mixed feelings on Mr Peanutbutter and Pickles in general but honestly the best thing about their relationship is that when they go to see Angels In America neither of them bat an eye. I haven't watched the play nor have I watched Angels In The Outfield but I can safely say that if I were going to see such a serious drama expecting a comedy then I would at the very least be slightly distressed. These two go into it and come out the other end like "huh ok. That just happened" certified two weirdest people ever
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I crave more knowledge than I can attain in one life.
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This just in: breadcrumbs on top of mac and cheese should be illegal.
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non-comprehensive haruhi autism creature comp
i mean just look at him she's literally
#kiss kiss fall in love :|#i'm not kidding there's so many panels like this. haruhi is a little bug with big beautiful brown eyes. literally (O_O)#nobody else is drawn like this in the manga it's just haruhi#still going through the manga yippee#ohshc#ohshc manga#fujioka haruhi#haruhi fujioka#i am a big believer in autistic haruhi and this isn't the biggest reason but it is a funny reason to me#also hitting haruhi with the he/she headcanon beam. i can't help it but also i mean. maybe a little more justifiable with haruhi than anyon#else i can think of. like just look at the show idk read the manga#ouran high school host club#ouran koukou host club#woahh fancy fancy pulling out all the stops (i guess)#eugh i should stop writing tags my laundry's been done sitting in the dryer for like. 20 minutes#also sorry these images are so small and busted i uh didn't look at them before posting and am not going to fix them <3
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Initially, I wanted to draw him as a tiny pubby wearing a sock as a bodysuit for Warmth but that was Beyond My Skill Level and thus the compromise
He will be Toasty
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#understandable#maybe it's up to me to draw him as a tiny pubby wearing a sock as a bodysuit for warmth then#it's delightful how he just transforms into a moray eel when you flatten his ears and fur#a loch ness monster sighting#particularly appreciating the pretty auroras on the background#maybe they're on a trip to northern finland#I've been meaning to draw that too aaaaaa#thank you! good to see his ears are safe and toasty#gift art#autistic-zukoao3#Machete#own characters#❄️❄️❄️#it's peak winter tourism season in my hometown and now I'm picturing them fitting right in#been seeing northern lights more often than usual this fall and winter and they've been strikingly vibrant and lively as well
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Am I the only one that feels like NTs HATE saying 'I don't know.'
You will not believe the amount of times I'll ask a basic objective question about a situation and they'll give me an answer, only for later the answer to be completely wrong. And then when I ask them why they would give me wrong information - they say 'I just guessed.'
I didn't ask you for your guess. I asked for the information. If you didn't have the information don't just GUESS. Say 'I don't know.'
I feel like NT don't realize that WRONG information is worse than no information.
If I want to know when an event will end and you say '5pm' - I'm going to be mentally prepared for 5pm. And if it DOESN'T end then, not only will I be out of energy, but I'll be irritated and confused because I'm in an unfamiliar situation with NO INFORMATION
Had you just told me 'I don't know what time it ends' instead of GUESSING 5, then I would've prepared for the worse. But now I have to literally rearrange everything in my head and talk myself down from meltdown cause I was given inaccurate information and also I thought I was going home.
But they act instead like saying I don't know is a moral failure.
My father used to yell at me all the time to not say 'I don't know.'
He'd always demand I figure it out and come up with SOMETHING no matter how uninformed or vague and that's how you have NTs walking around feeling like it's a crime to admit they simply don't know something
and instead they'll just shamble something together and hope that's good enough regardless of whether in the information is actually helpful or correct.
IT'S SO ANNOYING. JUST SAY YOU DON'T KNOW.
Stop guessing and giving me WRONG information because it only makes the situation worse and more confusing. Say you don't KNOW. It's FINE.
#ro rants#neurotypicals communicate clearly challenge#today on: actually NT are the ones with empty and illogical communication patterns#I refuse to believe I'M the disordered one when they're the ones acting on no logic whatsoever#stop trying to protect your ego and just Be Normal and tell me what I need to know#'Autistics are bad at communication cause they're too blunt and rude-'#or maybe.. you just have no idea how to speak clearly#neurodivergent#actually autistic#autism#audhd#neurodivergency#neurodiversity#actually audhd#actually autism#actually adhd#autistic
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seeing people claim that lucanis is 'bad representation' is hilarious to me because in so many ways he's really the closest anything has ever gotten to capturing my own personal experience. sorry for being bad real life queer and mental health/neurodiversity representation folks 😔 I'll take time to reflect and do some work on myself and try to do better in the future
#it's lucanis and harrowhark nonagesimus. I'm basically in the middle of that venn diagram. it's about as fun as it sounds lol#but. we. stay. silly. we stay silly. *deep breath* we stay silly#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#lucanis dellamorte#it does show bioware kind of are fucked coming and going tho. taash' character arc holds your hand too much apparently#and the moment lucanis' arc lets go of your hand for a second you walk directly into traffic and scream 'why would bioware do me like this'#is either arc perfect? no of course not as I apparently have to state every time to the point of tediousness. but also there clearly#is no winning everyone over anyway and people will invent problems that frankly do not exist. tilting at windmills gamer style#'is this just maybe not 100% 4 me but a bit for someone else? no. it's the writers who are objectively wrong and we all agree on this'#tooltip pop up: that is literally never true. there's NOTHING we all agree on. this is dragon age fandom.#you have been alive long enough to write words and access the internet. you know this if you search your heart#and think about it for even a second. so please do that before posting in the tag where I have to see it#as always 'your experience is not universal' is a useful thing to keep in the back of your head lol#also why lucanis is autistic To Me. a different flavour than taash and potentially bellara but the flavour closest to um. well. me lol
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i'd like to take a minute to explain in weird, unnecessary detail each of my favorite different iterations of luigi. for no reason in particular. he's always the same, but he's always just a little bit different in each series that he's given a significant role. okay here we go
S+
→ 2023 movie: might just barely be my favorite version of his character - i feel like the movie gave him a little sprinkle of all the traits from all the other media in the franchise and solidified his Entire character. he's a coward, but he's extremely brave and resilient, he's just a lil cocky and a lil awkward, and absolutely stuck like glue to his bro. also he's just erm like uh ridiculously handsome. A Very Balanced Luigi Meal i couldn't ask for anything more (other than giving him an even bigger role in the second movie! please! even though i was extremely happy to see him as the damsel!!!)
→ paper luigi: (hopefully) one of the most universally loved because of his arrogance and lil bit extra sass. luigi often acts proud i think as a bit of a mask, but paper luigi really gives us a show of it. he's also just very funny. still very clumsy/accident prone, still very awkward and weak to manipulation/praise. sometimes acts like he's superior to mario (yet still very, very dependent on him and even angry and a lil sassy/spiteful when he's left behind) and i just also think that's really funny. i like how intelligent systems plays around with him, and i hope they continue to do so in the next paper mario luigi game :)
S
→ M&L RPGs: when you are soooo stupid that you are a genius, and actually? you have a special power that no one else in the world has and you're going to save us all? because you are the specialest boy in the world? but you are so stupid.. but you're a fucking genius. what a delightful guy. possibly the silliest of the luigis. always lookin head empty but he can imagine anything. so powerful. but also the clingiest - brothership really did a number for his clingy nature. what do you mean you're gonna cry and die if you're more than 20 steps away from your brother. omg. baby. baby boy. the spoiledest luigi as well.
→ luigi's mansion: i just love how wet and trembly and pathetic he can be. we know he's a coward, but they crank the coward meter up to 1000 with him here - and ghosts being the thing that gets him most is very endearing to me. maybe because i'm not afraid of ghosts idk he's very very cute in these games with his silly expressions and constant jumping and screaming. his weird relationship with e gadd is also just so special. remember! bravery is not the absence of fear, but the will to overcome it.
→ super mario adventures comic: his quips and stupid puns have captivated me. he's honestly not a far cry from his super show cartoon counterpart, but i love him just a little more probably due to the art of the comic and his role overall. i don't have much to say but i just really like him in this very special peak fiction comic okay also he wore a dress TWICE. king shit
A
→ the great mission: my god what the fuck is that thing. who is this guy. no but for real i enjoy this version of him so much - it's such a far cry from how we know him as a character now, but there are lots of things about "beta wario" that still reflect luigi today. love of money/treasure is definitely still there just not as greedy as his old counterpart, the bit of sass and cheekiness is there, even a bit of his spoiled nature too. this guy is so selfish and a little bit nasty and i find him delightful. him callin mario アニキ in japanese is also crazy.
→ super show (cartoon): this pessimistic little bitch always thinks he is going to die in every scenario no matter how inconsequential and i fucking love him. he's often absolutely useless. i also just love the voice and his stupid goofy lines. not integral much anymore to the current luigi personality but there's a little bit of mama luigi in everything i do. there's a little bit of 'holy ravioli' in us all.
→ odyssey: now. listen. he doesn't do much. i know. but his various reactions to mario's outfits and the environments are really good. it feels really special despite his very small role. entirely non-judgemental of his brother's choices. will support him no matter what weird fashion he's into. will even feel his presence when he's invisible. it's very important to me. and the bowtie is so moe i can't stand it
→ super show (live action): even more rude than previous rude luigis like what's his fucking problem. i don't see much of this guy's personality in current luigi at all other than the wee bit of sass i guess. but that doesn't mean i don't love him and this stupid show that no one takes as canon anyways but all luigis are canon to me sorry
B - not inherently different iterations of luigi, and not technically any "worse" than the ones listed above, but...
→ super mario maker 2: call luigi. he will just fucking do it for you. what an absolute legend, a god, perhaps. everyone say thank you.
→ dr. luigi: i have some headcanons but nothing much to say canon wise, he just looks cute and he deserved it. but they should've put his ass back in the nurse's dress
→ tennis/golf luigi: i just like to see him have a good time. also i like seeing his hair and the outfits are cute. i could include the olypmic games and others since he's just the same with different cute fits. uh these explanations are starting to deteriorate
→ cat luigi: his noises... the nyas... neowow... okayyyy. he also is very cat-coded to me anyway. it just fits. i think he purrs when his head is pat while getting praised. i love catboys
→ gooigi: it's gooigi dude. does he even count? what the hell, sure. he's cute... that's all :3
this was kinda supposed to be me analyzing the different versions of luigi and how they compare to each other but it's kind of just a luigi lovedump post... (what do you expect from me at this point?) any missing from this list i'm either not familiar enough with or he doesn't have a big enough role to warrant like a Character Analysis i guess.
which is your favorite version of luigi? which aspects of his character do you like most? for me, it's everything. he's everything. okay bye
#i'm not tagging this are you kidding me just take my autistic comfort character infodump and run for your life#also for the record i have yet to play galaxy (i know. i know) so i don't know much about his small role in it YET#like i said there's some i surely missed but i think these ones are the most important and have the most personality! um! i really love him#maybe the longest post i've ever made am i insane? Perhaps#the crazy thing is i could say even more about each of these weegees from game to game (i.e. paper mario and M&L RPGs but#i do not have the time nor the brain power to keep up with my thoughts like that LOL#💫
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Most people probably didn't notice how intimate Charles reaction to Edwins Confession was.
Edwin has this type of edwardian pyjama/underwear kinda thing going on. The wide boatneck opening. But there is fabric on the shoulders.
Charles puts his hands on his shoulders. Saying all those very reassuring things.
(going to hell for him is btw the most romantic thing)
he slides his hands down his shoulders
and the decides to slide them up even further. touching Edwins collar bones. a very sensitive spot. It's lovely. and very intimate in a way.
#charles edwin love confession#maybe I'm just making this up because I'm autistic#but that is a very intimate place to touch in my opinion#and I'm delulu#let me live#charles and edwin will be the death of me#charles edwin#painland#dead boy detectives#dead boy detective agency#neil gaiman#the man likes to see me suffer
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them: he manipulated them, killed their daughter, and fucked their heads. he's the villain! he's a sick twisted villain!
me: the 500+ year old vampire? with severe trauma? and zero support for his very obvious neurodivergence? the child sex slave? the dogmatically groomed prized possession? the cult victim? the 'has to figure out how to please people and blend in to survive and avoid further abuse' character? the 'regimented and desperate for order and sense of purpose so yeah he tries to do the job he is forced into to the letter' coven leader? the 'frequently abandoned, misused, and neglected so clearly he's developed frantic control issues to not lose his only sense of stability and comfort' one?
next day edit: hold on, i'm not done. i'm sitting here at lunch the next day and i really can not shake that some people do not get the point.
it's not that i'm gonna excuse villainous behavior. the tiny gremlin did all that shit, and his ass is gonna go in time out, but TO ME, the whole fucking point of the show is that no one is really the villain.
that's because they are ALL FUCKING AWFUL. all differently bad, all differently broken. the closest thing to a saint we got is madeline, so sure go off calling her the only good one im in agreement, but they are ALL A GODDAMN NIGHTMARE.
the beauty of this entire series, particularly the books for me but i do love the show, is that the nuance and wiggle room between monstrosities and man is the poetry of the story. it is beautiful that these creatures have this tiny gasps of heart and happiness and hope despite who and what they are.
i can scream into the void all week about armand and claudia and daniel bc those are the characters i most identify with bc of my own personal trauma. HOWEVER, that does not take away my ability to see that EVERYONE needs therapy.
put their asses on a vampiric SSRI, tell them to all fuck eachother and get the orgy over with, and then have an honest to god conversation about their feelings.
DAMN.
okay anyway, going back to work.
#I am fully aware he's in the wrong#but as someone who is also a survivor and is autistic#I just#can we try to see this series isn't not black and white maybe#also maybe ask yourself why you will forgive Lestat for his shit but not Armand but whatever#I'm going back in my hole now#the vampire Armand#Armand iwtv#iwtv#interview with the vampire
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Maybe it's just a reflection of my own limited experiences and insecurities as a 2nd year transwoman but even the most kind and seemingly loving support of transwomen from cis women, especially cishet women, often feels like it actually starts and ends at "you don't deserve to be hated."
Yeah but I deserve to be invited into women's spaces? Do I deserve to be treated as an equal? Do I deserve to be loved even when I sound like a guy? Do you actually see me as a woman or do you see me as some outside-the-binary intersection of gay man and vulnerable victim with she/her pronouns?
Am I actually accepted or am I a victim of oppression that you ideologically believe should be defended, but would otherwise prefer not to think too much about? And does your support only last so long as I maintain a distinctly lower place in the social hierarchy than you, always monitoring my words and behavior so I don't misstep on the grounds of womanhood that I've only been given tentative, honorary permission to walk on?
It feels like you're saying "transwomen are women" while internally cataloging us in a group that's not man but distinctly not woman either, and that category is below men AND women in the patriarchal mindset that you never dismantled, just reorganized.
#trans#trans woman#idk maybe I'm just insecure and autistic#but I feel like I can tell when surface level allies put us in that third category rather than the women's category#and I feel like they can't tell that I notice#or even necessarily notice it themselves#maybe I'm just explaining transmisogyny to myself idk
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which of these consoles is what you see as YOUR console. either the one you grew up with, the one you have the most fond memories with, or the ones that you will defend until the end of time, no matter the actual quality of the hardware/software or games.
no nuance option, because i REALLY wanted the virtual boy on this. if you never looked at a nintendo game in your life then this poll is not for you. if you're a true game & watch or famicom fiend then i am sorry for not representing you </3
i started thinking about this because, for me, it's the nintendo ds. especially the lite? but any ds era type game will automatically be the best first and foremost. seeing people talk about the ds games i grew up with brings me immense joy, and i'll always find myself going back to the console or the games. nowadays i'm also an avid 2ds defender, but nothing beats the original
#poll#polls#nintendo#gaming#video games#tumblr polls#random polls#my polls#reblog for sample size etc#maybe i'm just autistic and thats why i feel that way about the ds#maybe some of you are just autistic#anyway i'm a big ol' nintendo nerd#the virtual boy is here because i love the virtual boy btw#also yes i did mean 2ds defender not 3ds. the 3ds is cool but i have only ever owned several 2ds in my life and i love them lots#argue about this in my inbox with me if you disagree
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Okay, sorry but is anyone else going insane over the new longform on the latest Patreon livestream?? I absolutely love the dynamic of weird mortician and lonely assassin - literally 'me and the bad bitch I pulled by being autistic'. And the whole confrontation at the end!! I mean, can you imagine what could've been if Pyotr had agreed to give up his ways?? They could have been so happy! I want them to go on holiday around Europe and hold hands!!
#sfth#shoot from the hip#hello? can anyone hear me???#genuinely considering writing fic#even though its a patreon play and like maybe 4 people would read it#and I doubt it's gonna be one they release on youtube so yeah like 4 people#and I technically should be writing my fucking thesis#plus another paper and that article i'm trying to get published but cmON#(and yes I absolutely headcanon Malcolm as autistic)#(and yes I know I'm projecting but shh)#I couldn't sleep the other night cause my brain was obsessing over it#and the last time that happened i ended up writing my first fic in 10 years#someone just talk to me about this pleASE#(also if you are an irl friend who sees this post no you fucking didn't)
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uhh another modern au agott follow-up. They've gotten progressively sillier
#witch hat tag#orufrey#hopefully you remember where she's at. the original one about her turmoils with art was so sincere....#but this is sincere too. being a 12 year old autistic lesbian is one of the most stupid things to experience. Like what is happening.#Yeah OK maybe i'm a wee lesbo. but i'm focusing on my CAREER rn so idc about that. SO i'm very upset that other ppl are not FOCUSING!!!!#A-AND FYI MY TEACHER HE CARRIES AROUND A GIRLY LIL PURSE!!! SO THERE!!!! Why are they walking away#agott helps me have to decide how to draw expressions i have never drawn before.#i actually realised looking at the concept art book stuff more carefully that coco is canonically 14? Ok....#it's a little too cruel if theyre dealing with periods on top of saving witch society from its foibles..but ok.. i do feel that riche is 12#also coco's hair is going to turn dark green when she's an adult or something. it's 'blonder' now due to being a kid🤔#abba is bc after a big long modern au orufrey comic where they got together i just strongly felt that they slowdanced to abba that day#feeling the mirth and hope of life and 'young and sweet only 17' why didnt we get together sooner but its ok like this & i love you dearly.#teen qif secretly listening to abba heartache songs after olly's caretaker drives him away..in that faded neopets hoodie.#it became 'their music' their silly little music.. right up there with the faerie bubbles theme.. (<- frustrating neopets minigame.)
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Headcanon that I have no basis for and no real reason for either but I will defend with my whole chest: Elrond has never had mashed potatoes until Durin fed him some and now he's obsessed with it.
#idk it's just a dearf and hobbit coded food#maybe it's because i'm short and I'm obsessed with mashed potstoes lmao#Elrond's autistic ass is also obsessed with it#every time he comes over durin makes sure to make heaps of it#it's good because it's one of the few things he can actually make#durin iv#durin x elrond#durond#elrond#elrond peredhel#elrond x durin#elrondurin#durin rings of power#rings of power#rop#certified crack post#will i write a fic about it ine day#maybe#one day
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