#maybe I'll understand eventually
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
no-one-hears-me · 1 year ago
Text
wow I really am terrified of gaining weight
#ed tw#idk what my motivation for all of this is#I've considered that I want to look sick and like. make my mental problems visible#but I'm actually very embarrassed about this and hide it. I get uncomfortable if people ever mention my eating habits#it's not really for looks bc I understand that being such an unhealthy size isn't attractive? at least when it involves unhealthy methods#makes me look like a sickly little corpse#also I lose a lot of muscle mass bc of this which is sad bc I like lifting weights. but I ruin all my work and progress#ik a common ed theme is control but I've never really related to that tbh#I also think it could just be a weird form of perfectionism since I'm just worried about numbers but idk#bc I still think I look too fat and that's not just numbers#but ig it still could be me striving for perfection overall and that includes both numbers and appearance?? but idk#what I know is that I feel accomplished for not eating. losing weight makes me really happy#gaining weight makes me upset even though ik it's just water retention and whatever. not actual weight gain#I just don't wanna see the scale number go up#I've been doing this for years and I still don't understand why. none of my psychoanalysis attempts have given a solid answer#maybe I'll understand eventually#except starving destroys your brain function. no wonder I can't figure out my reasons for this 😭😭😭#so like. I've never actually recovered but I am way funnier and cooler in my moments of partial recovery#that makes me sad too bc I don't wanna eat but I can't deny its benefits#Sera
2 notes · View notes
harrowscore · 8 months ago
Text
can't believe a show based on a videogame (usually games adaptations are notoriously bad, which isn't the case here tho) gave me the beauty and the beast/twisted mirrors/enemies to traveling companions/ruthless antihero+optmistic but still badass heroine who takes none of his shit/age gap but make it sexy dynamic of my dreams. as much as i love maximus and i think he deserves the best writing ever because 1. he's a clever deconstruction of the aspiring Knight bro who's actually a bit of a loser and, as much as lucy, sees the world in black&white at first and then doesn't get what he thought he wanted but what he needs (or at least i hope he'll eventually get it), and 2. he's a cutie and i want an epic love story for him too, it's very funny how they tried to give us a puppy kind of romance and the tumblr girlies still fixated on the "toxic ~she bites his finger off and he cuts hers off and sews it on his hand in what we'll pretend it's a symbolic marriage rings exchange or whatever~ asshole who used to be a nice guy/good girl™ with a lot of spunk and hidden anger but unshakeable morals" kind of relationship.
141 notes · View notes
taamlok · 1 month ago
Text
i'm going to take a break from being on here for a while, until the veilguard hate calms down or until i no longer care, whichever comes first. i went from being really excited to create in this fandom to being bitterly disappointed and unhappy in less than 2 weeks. if a character's mere existence makes you feel justified in platforming your bigoted opinions and being vicious to people who like them maybe try some personal reflection instead. it's honestly triggering to be under a constant state of anxiety that if i breathe wrong or act too excited about something i love the wrong person might see it and i'm going to get crucified for it, literally just because other people can't stand to see someone happy over something they don't like.
every time i think about taash now it comes with a wave of sadness and stress because i know that the fact that i like them makes me a target for bullying. you guys need to seriously get crucial. you're a grown adult video game blogging on tumblr, you do not have the right to be this up your own ass.
anyway i'm leaving to enjoy the game in peace and write my little fanfics for myself. mutuals who want to stay in touch can add me on discord @elminsters if you want, but i'm not really good at dming so don't expect much.
33 notes · View notes
ambitionsart · 11 months ago
Text
Tumblr media
So... Deadlands but make it a Guild?
Putting it under read more because there's a lot.
So given the Deadlands characters have very little backstory we are headcannoning a lot here. Bare with me.
Edie, I imagine as a rouge (was torn with bard), who uses her sweet charms to get the information she needs. Picks up shifts in taverns in exchange for a roof for a few days.
Garnet is just Prudance 2.0. Since we don't know much of backstory, I can imagine her being a reserved magic user who does not talk about where her magic comes from, because lets be honest a less than savoury patron really doesn't go down well. (Also the idea of her having like a deck of many things, or where her patron picks the cards delt to deal damage would be fun)
Silas, I'm sorry this man is a barbarian. There is no other thing he could be, it's the unfiltered rage. Though I liked the idea of him duel wielding blades like his pistols. Also having miss matched armour to reflect he used to be someone important, the hints of his 'law man' image.
Nate, Okay so. Nate I struggled with. I'm thinking a paladin of some kind? Also I don't know how to translate, was at one point dead and now lives on alcohol and jerky, other than the common stereotype of Dwarves. So. Yeah. Sorry Nate. Though I do imagine him keeping his shirt as if it was something his late wife embroiderd for him and now it's too sentimental to get rid of so it's got patches holding it together.
Delacy, the idea of this relatively human party having a child half orc running around with them felt apt but also the level of humor of oxventure. Also Delacy being an unusually strong child also very good. I can imagine him being a fighter or some combat specific class.
If anyone has any better ideas, hit me up I'm not 100% on all of these, so please add your own to them.
104 notes · View notes
i3utterflyeffect · 5 months ago
Text
Tumblr media
creature
30 notes · View notes
the-writing-mobster · 3 days ago
Note
hey! I have a question :} will there be any updates regarding KOTCS? Also where kodi :<
have a good day! :} take care
I killed her
Tumblr media
9 notes · View notes
autumnrory · 3 months ago
Text
i rmr when all the initial meta around endgame was coming out people were talking about steve being depressed and whatnot and it's like well yeah but he's BEEN depressed, like he woke up alone in this century and he kept going, now i can understand it being worse this time after finding a family and getting bucky back and losing them all except of course that's not why endgame steve was on about so like......the people writing meta were trying to connect these things that of course weren't really there on screen because that simply wasn't our steve
but i think it really could've been SO interesting to see this is the thing that finally makes steve stay down like he's lost so much and he just CAN'T keep fighting like i get some people think that's what they were going for but considering the ending......it's really not. and so i'm just thinking about a version after iw, maybe he gets some of the thor treatment except not turning his depression into a dumb fatphobic joke lol and maybe nat and others are trying to get through to him and it just doesn't work and then we get some flashbacks (which you could have done for all the original avengers actually which would be particularly important for bruce and nat and clint who did not have their own trilogies) including his mom telling him "you always stand up" and THAT being the thing to finally get him moving like it would've been such a perfect way to finally show sarah rogers some respect and ACTUALLY show steve really struggling instead of whatever they tried to do with him in that movie
#steve rogers#mcu#anti endgame#why am i still rewriting this movie five years later#really though i think i rmr just trying to work through it all#and a lot of the meta i was reblogging initially still wasn't really accurate to endgame or the rest of the mcu#like they were still making steggy more important than it canonically was while trying to explain why it was a bad ending#and it's kind of like you can say steve would respect that peggy had a life and wouldn't interfere with it but that's about it like#going on about how he DID love her so much and just wouldn't be selfish enough to do those things#or that she was soooo important to his moral compass (hence why so many fic writers had her telling him to go back to bucky lol insanity)#are just not accurate lmao i do think much as she may be rightfully disliked#while canonically he did not LOVE her he did respect her even if we think that's annoying bc she's an asshole to him in catfa#but yeah no he had a moral compass before her i understand what people were going for with the compass being symbolic but like....#any time she said anything did he listen? except for maybe when she told him he was meant for more? it really doesn't seem like it#nor did he need it! jesus! the whole point of catfa is he was chosen for a REASON he was already a good man#he did not need peggy 'sure i'll let nazis into shield' carter to teach him shit#but yeah it was bc i followed one stucky blog at the time who was reblogging a lot of good shit but a lot of that nonsensical shit too#and i was just reblogging it all bc everything sounded better than endgame#and i really did start seeing more of the discussions around peggy where her culpability in catws hadn't even occurred to me#bc i was so in fic from the beginning of joining fandom that not only was their relationship made as impt as stucky#it was also made out like what happened to shield was hurting her legacy and it's like...but she had to have at least SOME responsibility#and yeah eventually it's like okay no it's not just that steve wouldn't Do That it's also that they would've been a terrible couple#and not only would he not be so selfish but he wouldn't give up everything for HER lmao but he would've for bucky as was shown over and ove
13 notes · View notes
classicslesbianopinions · 10 months ago
Note
hard agree w ur take on historical discussions around queer identity. I'm in English and we deal with similar stuff as I'm sure you know and it's exhausting. like yes, it's complicated! yes the words we have now didn't exist back then! but that doesn't mean we can't bring history into our present moment and discuss how it resonates!! i personally really resonate w medievalist Carolyn Dinshaw discussing queer touches across time in her work (esp in her 2012 book How Soon Is Now? for anyone interested), among others, but I've mostly explored this discussion in the Renaissance onward from a literary perspective. I'd love to know who else you're reading/thinking with on this subject, especially within classics!
i mean it's not my take, i just reblogged a post, i honestly haven't done that much reading/thinking about it except i guess i think arguing whether or not someone is gay or bi is maybe one of the least interesting ways to engage, whether they're a historical figure or fictional character or celebrity or whatever else. but like... despite the url, sexuality and gender identity in the ancient world isn't something i've spent a lot of time working with at this point, like i enjoy casual conversations about it and i'm sure i will eventually get really deep into it academically but i'm not there now. so while i do agree with that post i'm not necessarily the person to ask for more on the subject.
however the original post is by @kallistoi who may or may not have more to say on the subject, so i will redirect you to them and/or to anyone else who feels like they have something to add!
32 notes · View notes
malzanya · 2 months ago
Text
dwelling on stuff, musing. considering. other words for "thinking".
9 notes · View notes
sysig · 1 month ago
Photo
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Font of Inspiration (Patreon)
#Doodles#Just Desserts#Villainsona#Many thoughts on this one! More lore!!!#For Charm specifically it's more the fun of the idea than necessarily how she Actually went about finding the things she likes haha#First set it easy enough - since all the JD Residents were crafted by the Queens (I really need to make Part 2 of that one...)#And all the JD Pets were crafted by their specific owner - that's all a pretty easy 1-to-1 haha#Charm had probably actually seen someone else craft their pet and/or been invited to do so by the Queens but setup punchline y'feel me#I think that was probably the status quo by the time she came to be#Which leads to the second thought! There she is admiring Marshmallow Fluff's sculpture work :D#I really need to give Aria a last name but my naming convention heghh I'll get to it eventually#Anyway lol admiring and being inspired by! In her own specific way#Again probably not Actually how it all panned out - maybe Aria inspired her to pick up sugar crystal polishing? They're more similar#Charm has been making candles for a while now ♪ But she could be inspired by specific pieces :D#It also got me thinking about which Residents were around for what and when! Charm's right in the middle of course#And the Queens were there before everyone else haha - but from there who was next and next and next!#I think the first batch was around six Residents and then there was a boom - but maybe that could be split into two batches for a total of 4#Marshmallow Fluff was from the first batch! As was Redvines&Pixi Stix and Ribbon Candy and Konpeito and the like#Charm was early into the second batch tho so she's definitely Batch 2 haha - plenty of others to look up to and be inspired by!#They all come into being fully adult already and have a kind of base understanding of things - but also learn and change and grow!#Friendships and hobbies and worries and wants and wishes ♪#Also you can't see it in the last one but she's Evil Timing behind those goggles haha <3#So excitable
7 notes · View notes
shock-micro · 1 month ago
Text
it's funny bc like. for so long i was fascinated by plurality and what the brain could do. and now it's like. what do you mean you're alone in there. what do you mean you don't even have an inner monologue. how is that possible how do you think
7 notes · View notes
volivolition · 3 months ago
Text
volition and empathy childhood best friend propaganda RAUGH!!
8 notes · View notes
the-priestess-of-dawn · 1 year ago
Text
Tumblr media
FEH Validar... is going to have no choice but to go through some character development. Aversa regained her memories. 4/5 of the Grimas summoned have lost theirs, and the 5th, despite being the most powerful, is also the saddest, openly admitting to feeling empty inside. Things just aren't the same as they were in his home world.
23 notes · View notes
hero-of-the-wolf · 3 months ago
Note
If you're not sure how to do music you could also do a jukebox musical where you use already existing music for the show. You just tweak it or change the context of the music :D
TRUE
you're so very right, however the part that attracts me the most about writing a musical is the creating the music part 🥺 I love music sm, and I love listening to videos about music theory and the intentional and clever choices that composers make, even if a lot of it goes over my head 😔
6 notes · View notes
emiliosandozsequence · 1 year ago
Text
being just Slightly 'more' autistic than the average tumblr user is fucking hard actually
19 notes · View notes
sparrownnax · 1 month ago
Text
anyways sometimes i wonder if i'm meant to be connected with people. don't get me wrong i appreciate my friends, but like my quality of life wouldn't go down too much if i hadn't met them. i like digging information out of people. they lose a lot of appeal once i know too much about them. i don't really have any kind of interest in pursuing any kind of relationship with people, romantic or platonic. i could take people or leave them. dunno
2 notes · View notes