#maybe I'd be coping better

[iamthemaestro]

I need to stop romanticizing careers I am not mentally stable enough to maintain

[fortes-fortuna-iogurtum]

..

[snazum]

Working on a little (big) project, finally figured out the storyline I want to go with, that's all I'll say, it's called IYKYK. Literatly thats the project name, it might change but it's quite what it means. but if you don't know? That's okay too! I'm hoping to tell a compelling story anyways. This is probably gonna take a couple years to do though XD

If you are interested this is the playlist I'll be working with. Yes I'm planning on making video visuals for this project (I'd say animating but I'm gonna be using a bunch of different techniques, also animating is hard af and takes a long time and I'm not exactly an animator.) Also you get to learn a little bit of my music taste now XD

[prettycottagequeer]

ok maybe I'm a little late to this BUT I'm gonna do a to-do list motivation thingy because I've had the worst two weeks since I started college :)

SO these I should start on asap:

50 I make the snack I really want but I haven't had the motivation to make

100 I clean my dorm. another thing I've been meaning to do for a week

150 I do the presentation about mid-victorian fashion I've been putting off (due Monday)

200 I start memorizing the monologue that was due a week ago (now due Tuesday)

these can wait longer:

300 I spend time outside. It's so nice but I'm getting stuck scrolling because I feel like shit. vicious cycle ect

500 I start setting a better weekend routine (aka getting up before noon)

1k I start working out again. I was doing a routine to get more masc and build muscle and I liked it but life hit me like Crowley driving the Bentley and I've missed like 3 weeks

2k I buy my first binder. I've been coping with sports bras for almost a year now and I haven't been able to justify spending $50+ on a binder even though I know I'd love it and use it everyday.

Do I tag people? I don't know but I'm going to. @the-globe-theatre-maggot @weirdly-specific-but-ok @howmanyholesinswisscheese

here's just some context if you want to read, feel free to skip. some of this I've talked about in the maggot server, some I haven't, but I really just need a place for this to go that's out of my head. tw homophobia, transphobia, car crash(??)

How I Have Been Run Over By The Bentley Going 90 In Central London What Feels Like 50 Times In The Last Two Weeks

I'm going to college about 4 hours away from my parents, and it's been really nice. They.. suck, to say the least. transphobic/homophobic ect, super traditional conservative catholic, racist, all of it. so i tried to move somewhere where I wouldn't have to think about them and I could be myself and do what I can to be happy. March 1st was the start of my spring break, which meant going home because the dorms close. I was already not excited, but I was prepared. the problem with being away from home is I forget just how bad they are. My optimism gets the better of me and I think maybe this time they'll be better. so I decided to not hide my septum piercing.

that was a mistake. it starts a whole fight where they say we know you're trans, you're actually a girl and you always will be, we have the bones argument, they think I'm being influenced by demons or something (if only they knew about crowley) because I want to change my name, and they tell me that going on t will completely ruin my body and give me cancer and other things. They're also mad about my dyed hair, septum, and general style, and say I'm setting a terrible example for my (5) younger siblings and make it a point to tell me just how much of a disappointment I am. I think I'm pretty cute and fun but y'know, whatever. very fun time. I lie so much, don't give them any more details about my identity, and say I'm not planning to go on t to save my ass. which is all on instinct which makes me feel worse because if I'm really trans I should be able to stand up for that, right? maybe I'm faking the dysphoria.

the next morning I wake up really sick, and spend the rest of the week sick and feeling like shit because I'm home and back in the same place and situation I was a year ago that I thought I escaped. at one point I pretty much lose my voice but also kind of get gender euphoria from it. it's weird.

On Friday it's time for me to drive back 4 hours to school, and I make it about 3/4 of the way when google maps takes me on a random gravel road and I crash my car, really crash my car, like sideways-in-a-ditch-windows-broken-crawling-up-out-the-door crash it in the middle of nowhere. (I was fully paying attention to the road, it was raining and super slick) I call my parents because I have no one else to call and I sit in a Subway for 3 hours while they drive to get my car. when they get there they're (understandably) really mad, and they tell me that I'm not mature enough to be going to school so far away and I need to get my shit together and stop depending on them. which. is probably true. but made me feel even more stupid about the fact that I crashed my car. I get back to school and I'm still Very Sick with no energy or motivation to do anything. So I've spent the last week trying to get better and honestly to do anything. it hasn't really worked. I'm a lot better health-wise (Not emotionally), still sick but I have a lot of work due, so I really need a push to get started

[iwanthermidnightz]

When I think back on the Speak Now album, I get a lump in my throat. I have a feeling it will always be that way, because this period of time was so vibrantly aglow with the last light of the setting sun of my childhood. I made this album, completely self-written, between the ages of 18 and 20. I've spoken about how I feel like those ages are the most emotionally turbulent ones in a persons life. Maybe when I say that, I'm really just talking about myself.

I think they might just be the most idealistic, hopeful years too. At this point in my life, I had released my second album, Fearless. It became the breakthrough moment I'd always dreamt of, one that catapulted my career to new realms of success. It had brought with it a tidal wave of pressures and pitfalls and growing pains. All the while, I was encountering the milestones and checkpoints of normal teenage growth. I had cataclysmic crushes and brushes with heartache. I moved out of my parents' house and set my bags down in a new apartment. I hung photos on my own walls and decorated the space where I would sob and cackle and shatter and dream. Sometimes I felt like a grown up, but a lot of the time I just wanted to time travel back to my childhood bed, where my mom would read stories to me until I fell asleep.

In my darker moments, I was tormented by the doubt that swirled loudly around my ascent and my merits as an artist. I was trying to create a follow up to the most awarded country album in history, while staring directly into the face of intense criticism. I had been widely and publicly slammed for my singing voice and was first encountering the infuriating question that is unfortunately still lobbed at me to this day: does she really write her songs? Spoiler alert: I really, really do.

In the years since, I've developed a thicker skin about public criticism and the cynicism with which some people approach the music I make. At that time, it leveled me. I had these voices in my head telling me that I had the perfect chance and I blew it. I hadn’t been good enough. I had given it all I had and been found wanting.

I wanted to get better, to challenge myself, and to build on my skills as a writer, an artist, and a performer. I didn't want to just be handed respect and acceptance in my field. I wanted to earn it. To try and confront these demons, I underwent extensive vocal training and made a decision that would completely define this album: I decided I would write it entirely on my own. I figured, they couldn't give all the credit to my cowriters if there weren't any. But that posed a new challenge: It really had to be good. If it wasn't, I would be proving my critics right.

I had no idea how much this pain would shape me. That this was the beginning of my series of creative choices made by reacting to setbacks with defiance. That my stubbornness in the face of doubters and dissenters would become my coping mechanism through my entire career from that point forward. This exact pattern of enacting my own form of rebellion when I feel broken is exactly why you're reading these very words, and I'm re-releasing this album now.

I went through my first worldwide scandal (the mic grab seen around the world). I experienced the weirdness of trying to get to know a boy while a swarm of paparazzi surrounds the car. Media contacting my publicist for an official statement on why two teenagers broke up. These are weird experiences to have at any age, but even more surreal when you're 19.

I had the nagging sense that in the most intense moments of my life, I had frozen. I had said nothing publicly. I still don't know if it was out of instinct, not wanting to seem impolite, or just overwhelming fear. But I made sure to say it all in these songs. I decided to call the album Speak Now. It was a play on the speak now or forever hold your peace' moment in weddings, but for me it symbolized a chance to respond to the chatter and commentary around my own life.

Some of these emotional revelations were surprising to people. Some expected anger and instead got compassion and empathy with 'Innocent'. Some expected a kiss-off breakup song but instead got a hand-on-heart apology, 'Back to December. It was an album that was the most precious to me because of its vast extremes. It was unfiltered and potent. In my mind, the saddest song I've ever written is 'Last Kiss'. My most scathing is 'Dear John' and my most wistfully romantic is 'Enchanted'.

I'll be forever proud of setting a goal and seeing it through. I'lI always feel shivers all over when I remember singing 'Long Live' to close the show every night on tour. The outstretched hands of those bright and beautiful faces of the fans. Their support was like an open palm that reached out and helped me up off the ground when others were, frankly, mean.

These days I make my choices for those people, the ones who thought I had been good enough all along. I try to speak my mind when I feel strongly, in the moment I feel it. I'm still idealistic and earnest about the music I make, but I'm less crushed when people mock me for it. I know now that one of the bravest things a person can do is create something with unblinking sincerity, to put it all on the line. I still sometimes wish I was a little kid again in a tiny bed, before I ever grew up.

I always looked at this album as my album, and the lump in my throat expands to a quivering voice as I say this. Thanks to you, dear reader, it finally will be.

I consider this music to be, along with your faith in me, the best thing that's ever been mine.

Yours,

Taylor

[writinginatree]

Together

Relationship(s): Bodhi Durran/reader

Summary: Bodhi and you started dating in the years after the Apostasy, and when the time comes for him to join the Riders Quadrant, you surprise him with an unexpected decision.

Warnings: Swearing, some mentions of angst due to Apostasy-related reasons and reader's parents being disapproving, but overall very lighthearted and fluffy

Part 2

"So, when are we leaving?" you ask, bouncing up and down where you're sitting on Bodhi's bed as you watch him lay out the things he wants to bring to Basgiath. It's a bit soon to be packing, but you know he's simultaneously nervous and eager to join the Riders Quadrant, so you don't say anything about it.

At your question, Bodhi stops what he's doing and turns, blinking at you in confusion. "We?"

"Yep. I'm coming with you."

"You're... coming with me..." Bodhi slowly repeats. "To Basgiath...?"

You nod. "And into the Riders Quadrant."

For a moment, your boyfriend is speechless. He sits down beside you, staring at you like he's waiting for you to take it back or say you were joking.

You don't.

After a few seconds he gives a confused shake of his head, hard enough that his curls bounce all over the place. "Whoa, hold on. What?"

You bite your lip, suddenly nervous what he'll think about your decision.

Blurting it out like it's the most natural thing in the world might not have been the best way of telling him you intend to accompany him. You don't want to seem clingy — which is ridiculous, because you are. And that's fine, because so is Bodhi. In the year and a half you've been dating, the both of you have become practically inseparable. Not a day goes by where you don't see each other, and you sleep here with him almost more often than you do at home.

His impending departure has been hanging over the both of you like a dark cloud for weeks, neither of you sure how the fuck you're supposed to cope with being away from each other. But then the realization had hit you that it doesn't have to come to that. It's the perfect solution, really, and you're surprised neither of you had thought of it sooner.

"Well," you start, "I can't stand the idea of not getting to see you and not even getting to write to each other for a whole year. So I thought, why not become a rider too? I've been joining you for your training all the time anyway, so it's not like I'm unprepared."

Bodhi shakes his head, not in denial but simple disbelief. Clearly, this hadn't occurred to him as an option. "But I thought your parents wanted you to—"

"Yeah, yeah," you wave him off, "but I don't care what they want. It's my life, not theirs."

"It's your life that you'd be risking in the quadrant!"

You shrug, cocking your head with a playful grin. "Worth it, if it means I get to be by your side."

"You're unbelievable," Bodhi groans, but he can't help return your smile. He's always saying how your smile is infectious; maybe there really is some truth to that.

"You love me, though."

"Yeah... Yeah, I do."

The way he looks at you is half adoration and half exasperation, like he can't quite decide whether he should be worried or swooning over the idea that you love him enough to follow him into the death trap that is the Riders Quadrant.

The worry seems to win out, because he asks, "Are you really sure this is a good idea, though?"

You pout. "I thought you'd be happy to have me with you."

"Of course I'd be happy to have you with me! I just— I don't want you to base your career choices solely on me. Joining the riders isn't a decision you should make lightly, considering it could fucking kill you."

"I know. And I'm not making the decision lightly, I promise. I've been thinking about this for weeks, and I am sure, Bodhi. As far as careers go, being a rider is as good as anything else as far as I'm concerned — better, really, 'cause we'll be together."

"You could just as well join the healers or scribes, though," Bodhi points out. "That way you'd get to be near me without actively risking your life."

"Nope. If I'm going to Basgiath, I'm doing so as a rider. All or nothing, baby."

Bodhi sighs, and you decide to placate him with a kiss. When you pull away, his precious smile is back where it belongs.

"Well, if you're really sure," he says, lacing his fingers with yours. "Not like I can stop you. And it would be nice to have you with me."

You beam back at him. "Then it's decided. We're gonna become riders together."

"Alright. Together." A sudden thought makes him chuckle. "I can't wait to see Xaden and Garrick's faces when they hear you're becoming a rider just because we didn't want to be apart. I bet they're both still single."

"I can't wait to meet them," you say, squeezing his hand.

Since first-year rider cadets aren't allowed correspondence, Bodhi hasn't heard anything from his cousin or older friends since they started the quadrant, but he is stubbornly optimistic. That headstrongness must be a family trait, since Bodhi's main reasoning for his optimism is that his cousin is simply too stubborn to get killed. Still, you know sometimes Bodhi lies awake at night, worrying. It'll be good for him to see his friends again, to have certainty they're okay. He's missed them so much, especially Xaden. Bodhi always talks about him with the utmost admiration — no wonder, what with the way the older boy had literally saved his life, along with those of all the other marked ones.

You're curious what he'll actually be like — and a little nervous whether he'll approve of Bodhi's relationship with you. The distrust between the rebellion kids and other people goes both ways, you've learned.

"Bodhi? What if they don't like me?"

He shakes his head and pulls you into his lap. "It's impossible to not like you, darling."

"Liar," you say, playfully bumping your shoulder against his chest. "Lots of people don't like me."

"Fine, let me rephrase," Bodhi laughs. "Anyone who doesn't like you is an idiot, and Xay and Garrick aren't idiots, so they'll like you just fine. That sound better?"

"Mhm."

But despite Bodhi's certainty that they'll like you, you're not fully reassured. Now that you've started thinking about it, you can't shake the fear that the other marked ones — his family — won't approve of you. Older relatives can be overprotective. Your own parents are a case in point, with their continuous distrust of Bodhi and their insistence that you should stop seeing him.

"Hey." Bodhi brings his hand to your chin, tilting your head to look at him. "I mean it, baby. They're going to adore you, I promise. Okay, I guess Xaden might be a bit wary at first... he's never really been a fan of letting in new people, y'know. And it's probably only gotten worse since I saw him, with how most people view us as traitors. But he'll warm up to you quickly enough once he gets to know you a little, trust me. And I did mention you in some of my letters before he started Basgiath, so he's had some time to get used to the idea of you, at least."

"Do I want to know what your letters said about me?"

"Only the best," he assures you with a wink. "I think mostly I just rambled about how happy you make me. And hey, being so dedicated to come into the quadrant with me will probably earn you plus points, too."

"Or he'll think I'm some kind of obsessive stalker..."

Bodhi bursts out laughing, and after a second, you join in. You really are being silly.

"I don't think it counts as stalking if I want you to do it. Xaden has first-hand experience with how clingy I can be, so I doubt he'll be surprised at us being so... well, clingy, with each other."

"First-hand experience, huh? Did he have to give you a dozen goodnight-kisses every evening, too?" you tease.

Bodhi chuckles along with you, stealing a kiss before answering. "No, but I did climb into his bed for cuddles a lot when we were kids. Xaden would always say but only for a few minutes, but when he tried to kick me out, I'd just pretend to be asleep. Pretty sure he always knew I wasn't, but he let me stay anyway. I think secretly he wanted to cuddle too, but don't tell him I told you that."

"I won't," you promise, grinning ear to ear at the cuteness of it.

"And while we're at it, you probably shouldn't mention how much I told you about the Apostasy, either. Xay would kick my ass for being too trusting." Bodhi makes quotation marks in the air around the last two words.

You nod, well aware he wasn't supposed to talk about the truth behind the rebellion. If the wrong people heard, he would be in serious trouble.

It wasn't like he had meant to tell you; after some assholes had made one too many mean comments about his dead mom, the words had simply started pouring out once you were alone, about how it was all one big lie and all that the marked kids' parents had been doing was try to help people. He hadn't told you any details, either. Not because he didn't trust you — he did, and does so even more now that you're a couple — but because he'd realized halfway through his tearful rant that knowing too much might put you in danger if anyone finds out what you know.

"Don't worry," you say. "You know I can keep a secret."

"Yeah, I know."

For a few minutes, you sit in comfortable silence, your head resting against Bodhi's shoulder, his arms lazily draped around your waist.

"You'll probably get a lot of dirty looks for being with me once we're at Basgiath," Bodhi remarks. Wincing, he adds, "Even more than you do now, I mean."

You don't lift your head, only hold him a little tighter. "You know I don't care about that. If anyone tries to call you a traitor, I'll fight them."

Bodhi laughs softly. "Please don't. You would probably be fighting people all day, every day if you started doing that."

You chuckle too, but the casual reminder of the hatred the marked ones experience and of how used to it Bodhi is makes your heart ache for him. "I wouldn't mind, if it's for you."

"Yes, you would," Bodhi grins. You sit up straight, ready to object — even if you're just joking around, you want him to know you'd happily do anything for him. But as you open your mouth to say so, he goes on, "Because then we wouldn't have any time left to cuddle."

You snap your mouth shut, raising a finger. "That is a very good point, actually. I'll keep it to a minimum then, and only fight the really mean ones. That should deter the rest."

"Sounds like a plan." Then he turns serious. "Speaking of mean, how pissed are your parents about your decision?"

"I haven't exactly told them yet," you admit, grimacing at the mere thought of having that conversation.

Saying that your parents aren't very fond of Bodhi would be an understatement. They'll throw a fit when they find out you plan to follow him into the Riders Quadrant, call it proof he's a bad influence. If only they would open their eyes and see what a sweetheart he is.

"Ah. But you will tell them, right?"

"I dunno. To be honest I'm tempted to just sneak away, leave a letter to explain where I went and why."

"They'll think I kidnapped you," Bodhi jokes.

Your responding smile is more reflex than genuine. That scenario seems entirely too possible for you to truly find it funny. With your parents' attitude regarding your boyfriend, you wouldn't put it past them to get ideas like that.

"Yeah," you sigh. "And if I do tell them, they might just lock me in my room to keep me from going."

"I'd come break you out if they did that," Bodhi promises with a kiss to the top of your head.

"Thank you," you hum, and snuggle back into his embrace. "But let's hope it won't come to that."

Bodhi nods. "You could sleep here the night before we leave. Stash your pack here beforehand."

"Good idea. Will you come over and help me pack later? My parents will be out until dinnertime."

You're not quite sure what to take with you, besides the absolute essentials, and will probably bring either way too much useless stuff or end up forgetting something important, if you pack on your own.

"Of course."

"Thank you." You pause. "You know, you never answered my question."

"What question?"

"When we'll be leaving."

You have no idea how long the journey to Basgiath is, but since Bodhi has to show up there in time for Conscription Day, he's surely been told when he needs to leave.

"Tuesday morning."

"Well, that still leaves me some time to decide if I'll talk to my parents or just sneak away."

Bodhi hums in agreement, radiating silent reassurance.

You know he'll support you either way. Together, you can face anything, be it your parents, bullies, or dragons.

[animeomegas]

Hi! Could I request maybe the reunion between shikamaru and his alpha?? Like from the shikamaru breaking down bc his alpha is late from a mission and his teacher is dead Thanks!!

I think I've written something small about this before, but I'm happy to expand on it! Enjoy <3 ( I didn't realise I'd left this in my drafts, so here you guys go while my arms are sore still haha)

"Shikamaru, you need to sleep," you said gently, holding his face in your hands. Dark circles and stress bitten lips gazed back at you as he shook his head. He had looked worse when you first got home yesterday, but thankfully, after the first hour of cuddling and crying, it had been easy to get him to take a shower with you. Unfortunately, it was not proving as easy to get him to go to sleep.

"No," he muttered, voice hoarse from crying.

"You have to sleep at some point, sweetheart," you pointed out, smoothing your thumbs over his skin. He shook his head again. "Please? For me?" There was some hesitation this time, but he still shook his head in the negative.

It had been twelve hours since you'd returned, but Shikamaru was still firmly stressed and alert, coiled like a spring at every moment, despite your and his parents' best efforts in calming him down.

He was grieving, you understood that. And then a mission had taken you away from him when he needed you the most, you understood that too. You had the greatest patience for him, but he still needed to sleep (and you would also rather like to be able to use the toilet without holding his hand.)

"Shika..."

"Don't. Please, just don't. I'm fine."

He was clearly running on fumes, but you didn't know how to make him rest, other than just letting him push himself until he collapsed. You didn't even know why he was so resistant to sleep. Did he think you would be gone when he woke up even though you had promised to the contrary countless times?

You wracked your brain desperately, as Shikamaru moved his face until it was buried in your collar bones. You idly stroked his hair, allowing your fingers to glide through the soft strands. You needed to soothe him to sleep somehow.

You focused for a moment on the sound of his mother pottering away in the kitchen. You relied on her for advice on handling Shika's obsession instinct often, but she'd been unable to suggest anything helpful this time.

You started to hum, almost without thinking, as though it was an instinct to fill the silence without words. The melody started out as nothing more than a collection of random notes, but slowly, it morphed into one of your favourite love songs.

You sang softly, still stroking Shikamaru's hair in time to the music. Your voice was a little rusty from disuse, but you pushed through the minor discomfort.

A hot tear rolled onto your neck from where Shikamaru had his face pressed. You didn't bring attention to it, you just kept singing through the ticklish sensation.

You sang that song twice before you picked a new one.

And then another.

And another.

Eventually the tears stopped flowing and Shikamaru's breaths evened out. The weight of his head increased and his limbs went completely limp as he finally succumbed to sleep.

You sang that first love song one more time, just to be sure he was truly asleep, before you joined him in unconsciousness.

There was a long way to go, to process his grief properly, to reassure him that you weren't going to leave, maybe some more desensitisation training to help him cope, but everything would feel just a little bit better once he'd had some sleep.

[preciouslittle-bhaalbabe]

I might get some hate for this but I think people give the rite of profane ascension a little too much credit. All it did was amplify that which was already there. All the possessiveness, the theatric demeanor, the strange coping mechanisms, that's all Astarion. He had those traits already. The rite didn't have a personality baked in that possessed Astarion once it was completed. If you had finished the rite instead, it would act differently.

Astarion, after getting unfathomable power is going to do the one thing he knows he can. Be the biggest prick on the sword coast lol. He thinks himself untouchable now so he's going to rub it in the face of anyone in the vicinity.

Something else I find really interesting. When not romancing Astarion it is MUCH easier to talk him down from going through with it. Alot of his desire to complete the ritual comes from fear of losing the one person he cares for. So the ritual corrupts that too and turns it into possessiveness. It was already there.

"Ask me anything, and it will be yours".

But he also establishes a clear dom/sub type dynamic. I think because it's what he has known the most and is also maybe a liiiiiitle drunk off the power still. Which isn't everyone's cup of tea. So post ritual Astarion can quickly become very uncomfortable for people. But it's not necessarily "new" or Cazadors personality baked into the ritual. He has always had the potential to be like this. Even without killing over 7000 people. That's what makes his character analysis so fascinating. A!A and spawn Astarion are so detailed and well written and analysing them both just makes me realise how much work was put into these companions.

One more thing I'd like to mention. Aside from the occasional difference in wording or his greetings, most of his voice lines are exactly the same. It's still Astarion. And of course this is due to resource management but I also think it works as being intentional as well. He's still in there. He's just really lost in the power sauce at the moment.

Do I think ascended Astarion is the "better" ending? Objectively, no. From an RP standpoint, maybe! I think almost every companion has an arc where lust for power or blind devotion becomes their downfall. Even Durge! It's what makes them such compelling characters.

[jubileebloom]

I love sea grunks hurt/comfort fics as much as the next person but so many of them are He Would Not Fucking Say That interpretations of Stan... like, I can see them both learning more about mental health and dealing with trauma and whatnot as the years go on, but I don't think Stan would be using Those Kinds of Words to talk about things. He wouldn't be calling anything a "panic attack" or a "flashback" or whatever right off the bat. He'd use whatever old-timey euphemistic language people used back in the day to talk about mental health without the knowledge or willingness to acknowledge that exists in the present day.

Ford? He, on the other hand, would absolutely be susceptible to developing a case of therapy speak. He would start figuring out the internet and look up how to cope with a specific habit he can't shake and get lost in a rabbit hole of research and technical terminology, because that's just kind of generally what he would do, I think. (And if that has the side effect of distancing himself from his emotions, turning them into a problem to solve and not an experience to have... that's not intentional. Definitely not. No avoidance going on here.)

What I'd like to see (and maybe write myself someday, if I can get the voice right) is an argument between Stan and Ford while they're just trying to figure out how to help each other, but it's falling apart because they just can't seem to get on the same page. Stan's actually done a lot better at getting back in touch with his emotions (it's only because of those pesky kids and their puppy dog eyes, dammit) and he's trying to explain something he's experienced as best he can with the limited words he knows how to use to approach this thing, and Ford's going off on some overly technical tirade plucked fresh from the pages of an overpriced textbook, and then there's a pause. Because all of a sudden, it clicked, and they look at each other and realize in the same moment that they're talking about the same thing.

[fernandamaya]

Scarring Passion 10.03.2024

Kaveh was an immediate favorite of mine when we learned about him in the game. It dawned on me pretty fast afterwards that the favoritism was stemming partly from feeling reflected in him, which is sweet and emotional but also a tough realization. Kaveh is an idealist and too empathetic for his own good, a creative soul and big heart whose life experiences have irredeemably affected his mental health. Will Stetson's Writing on the wall is an amazing approach to Kaveh's character, the song was on a loop multiple times while I drew this piece. It's hard to put into words just how much this character's existence means to me, since, despite of the blows life's thrown at him, he still continues to be his own form of soft. I feel like he makes me realize that I, too, have remained my own form of soft, but that the inherent guilt of not being the soft I think I should be has made it difficult to show up for myself sometimes and it derives into unhealthy coping mechanisms (although I'm not an alcoholic but gaming and oversleeping are their own form of worrisome escapism lmao). He reminds me of the passion for the craft and the world itself overpowerng the instinct of preserving oneself. Kaveh lacks boundaries because he doesn't respect himself over the benefit of others, and at least, thankfully, I've started to learn that lol. I think the character personality design team did a wondeful work with him. There's a lot of nuance in genshin characters, hoyoverse in general for that matter, and I truly appreciate that we get to enjoy these fictional character's lives and find the light they so beautifully keep in themselves, maybe to be able to find it in ourselves as well.

Ah man, too many things I'd say as well but I'd express myself better in Spanish and even then it would be a bunch of rambling because mind goes faster than hands lol

I really loved doing this artpiece. I've wanted to draw Kaveh for months and started two other drawings before this that I didnt really like and scrapped. I hope I draw him again in the furute 💖

[borderlinereminders]

The DBT Cope Ahead skill is the one that I found most helpful at the beginning of my journey. Though this did involve some knowledge of others skills to do, it helped me be prepared for strong emotions and tough situations.

One of the things I recommend the most when giving advice is planning ahead. Planning out grounding techniques or coping skills that you can use to make it easier to recall and use those skills in stressful situations. This skill does that, but also makes plans for specific situations.

This skill is intended to help us plan for certain situations that invoke certain feelings. It can help us be prepared for stress. This goal of this skill is to formulate a plan so that we can effectively use our skills.

Step One - Think of a situation that may spark uncomfortable emotions.

This might be one that you know you've had before (like a struggle in a relationship, or something you struggle to cope with, or any number of things you think you could use help preparing for.) Then describe the situation. When describing the situation, try to identify feelings you think would be likely to come up. If relevant to you, what urges may come up as well? Perhaps you know that in the past you've felt angry. Maybe you know you've had a panic attack before. Maybe you know you've had urges to do something destructive.

Step Two - Decide what coping or skills you might use

For me, I sit down and I think about what the problems are, and then I look at how I can solve those problems.

If you know that you feel angry, how could you cope with that? For me, I know that walking away to collect my thoughts is the best way for me to handle my anger so I might write down that's what I'd do. I also may know I'd have urges to say something harmful, or lash out. In that case, I'd write down that I'd use my urge surfing skill.

If it's a relationship issue, what skills could you utilize to solve the problem? Skills like DEAR MAN can be effective for communicating effectively. Other interpersonal skills may also be useful here! FAST and GIVE are two others ones I like to use.

If I know I'll struggle to make a decision on what to do, I might also plan to use a skill like WISE MIND.

If it's something like I know I spiral anytime a friend cancels a plan, or something like that, I might familiarize myself with Check the Facts.

There are a lot of DBT skills, and coping methods outside of DBT that can be useful. Planning ahead can make it easier to recall what skills to use, and having practiced them beforehand can help make them easier to apply in a stressful situation.

Step Three - Imagine the scenario and rehearse how you'd handle it.

How do the skills you've picked fit into the possible situation? If it's a skill like WISE MIND, or DEAR MAN that have multiple steps to them, maybe write out how those steps may play out.

Practice this until you feel you could apply this skill. It's okay if this step isn't perfect. In fact, it's normal. It's okay to need to try and it a few times. It's okay for this skill to be a work in progress.

See below the read more for an example situation:

Step One - I know my friend has mentioned coming down with something. It's really possible that she cancels our plans this weekend. I know that if that happens, despite there being a valid reason, I start spiraling and thinking that she hates me. This spiraling can lead to me panicking, or lashing out.

Step Two - One way I can cope is to use my Urge Surfing skill to resist my urges to lash out at her. I can also use Check the Facts so that I can challenge the irrational thoughts. Another way I cope is by re-reading screenshots that affirm that she cares about me. If I still feel it's not resolved, I can ask my friend for reassurance in a healthy, non confrontational way.

Step Three - If my friend cancels my plans, I will tell her "Thank you for letting me know. I'm disappointed I won't get to see you, but I really hope that you feel better soon!"

Then I will step away to collect my thoughts, and take some deep breaths. I might use my 54321 method to ground myself. If I begin having urges to lash out and say "Okay, I get that you don't want to see me", I'll use my urge surfing skill and remind myself that I can ride this wave. Having an urge doesn't mean I need to act on it, and then I will remind myself it will pass.

I will open up the note on my phone that walks me through Check the Facts. Using this skill will help me challenge my thoughts. It will remind me that my spiraling thoughts that she always cancels and doesn't want to see me aren't true because she hung out with me recently. The fact that it feels she always cancels doesn't mean it's true. I might realize that while my emotions are valid, they don't "fit the facts". If I'm struggle to check the facts, I will reach out to my other friend to help me check the facts.

If after this, I am still feeling insecure or like spiraling, I might reach out to my friend and say 'Hey, I'm having a bad brain day. When you have some energy, could you please give me some reassurance?"

I might also ask if we can plan another hang out for when she's feeling better. Having a future plan might help my anxiety.

Knowing she is sick means she might not have the energy to answer me, and I will be prepared with other coping methods if that happens so I don't spiral. I will reach out to my other friend, put on a comfort show to distract myself, or use another self-soothing technique.

[fraugwinska]

THIS JUST POPPED IN MY HEAD AND I NEEDED TO SHARE!!!! Alastor in a established relationship with reader who has hair like Rapunzel (maybe not EXACTLY but it definitely touches the floor) it’s always getting stepped on by busy feet or chewed on by a particular piggy to the point where she practically carrying it everywhere she goes. One day Al asks why wont she just cut it she tells him it signifies the days they were apart/days she waited for his return as human (I think his death was something she could never cope with :(( ) but now they are together again he cuts it for her and helps her let go of that pain! He anit going nowhere now. He promises. <333

Hello my lovely! I finally came around to write this - and I think it was good to wait to be in the right headspace. It's not a fullblown oneshot, but I think this SlutSnack (Or... FluffSnack?) will be just as good! No warnings this time - just wonderful, sweet fluff for y'all! (@minkdelovely I'm looking at you!)

Let down your Hair

"No, please, come on, Nuggie, that doesn't taste good, let go now, come on..."

You tried and tried, but Angel's pet pig wasn't budging, a thick strand of your hair in its mouth, jaw locked and squeal angry. You pulled on the hair, while Husk, having pity with you, held onto the ferocious piglet as you shouted for Angel once more.

"Oh darling, again?" A familiar cane with a microphone sitting on top of it bonked the piggy on its head, and in a shocked squeak it let you finally free. You tried not to feel too bad for the thing as you scrambled your masses of hair together in your arms and Alastor, your savior, tutted at the little pink ball in Husks hands, his eyes glowing dangerously.

"That's the third time this week. Maybe your owner should keep a better eye on you, or I might be in the mood for pork chops."

"Don't 'ya dare, Creepy McCreeperston!" Angel came running, pulling Fat Nuggets out of Husk’s grip and cradled it softly. The cat demon, relieved of being released from the burden of caring, returned quickly to the bar, determined to get out of whatever the hell kind of fight would certainly follow.

"Oh, I do dare if this thing keeps on guzzling her hair, you frivolous..."

"He's a baby, he doesn't know better 'ya cocky..."

"Stop it.", you said decidedly, getting nervous when Alastors antlers began to crack and grow. "It's okay, he didn't... chew it off, Alastor. But Angel, I'd really appreciate it if you would keep a closer eye on him, okay?"

Alastor took a deep breath, returning to his normal form with a sigh and joined your side, gathering the rest of your long hair with an annoyed frown.

Angel huffed, shrugging his shoulders. "Fine." He turned around, tickling the pigs belly as he took the stairs to his room and mumbled loudly "...Don't know why she has to have fucking hair like goddamn Rapunzel and make this shit my problem."

"Because," Alastor said loudly after him, his hair dangerously spiking and static crackling, "It should be her own decision whether to cut her hair or not, not this... pest’s eating habit, mhh?"

"Alastor...", you said softly, touched by his fierce protective gesture, "Would you come to my room and help me sort this mess out? I think I have some pretty nasty knots in there now." You put a hand on his arm, and his eyes snapped to you. He smirked, not really calming, and offered his arm, holding your masses of locks safely on the other one.

"Of course... anything for you, dear!"

The first twenty minutes were filled with nothing but Alastors soothing, soft jazz he loved to play when you were alone and the quiet scraping of your hairbrush, detangling your overly long locks. He slowly calmed down from his agitated state, not wanting to show it too obviously but fondly twirling your smoothed down hair through his fingers. You enjoyed these quiet times together with him - normally he'd talk a lot, that came with the job of being the radio demon, and you'd listen attentively, not having the heart to miss a single word that came out of his mouth.

But sometimes silence was even more lovely, because it showed you that he didn't feel the need to entertain, to pretend and to put on a show, but just... be. With you. And maybe he could sense that it made you happy. Or he knew exactly how relaxing these moments could be. Whatever the case, your mind started to wander, reveling in the soft tugs of the brush and the shivers running down your spine when his claws finally reached your scalp.

"Why don't you cut it?" Alastor asked quietly and you jolted from your musing, humming and turning your head slightly. "Hm?" Alastor scratched carefully behind your ears, waiting for the tension to disappear from your muscles before he continued brushing. "Why haven't you cut your hair yet? It must be quite a bother to maintain."

You turned your head and blinked at him. The dreaded question... you knew it had to come one day. If you were honest, you'd even suspected him to ask it sooner. The answer was easy... but you hesitated to let him know. Alastor loved details, craved them in fact - but it was sentimental, silly even, and you couldn't bear the thought of him thinking less of you. Now the time had come - he had asked you directly, and you resented lying to him even more than looking foolish to him.

"Do you remember the day at the fair? The one where you took me on that boat ride?"

Alastor hummed happily, braiding the front of your hair, his claws delicately folding section over section. "Yes, of course. What a fine evening that was! You looked gorgeous as ever, I think you wore the red summer dress I gifted you for your birthday that year. You normally wore your hair straight, but it was beautifully laid in those finger waves that were all the rage then - right until here." His hand trailed down to caress the nape of your neck, making you bite your tongue on a sigh, and continued. "And I promised to you then on that boat that I'd return to you in a heartbeat, wherever you may wait or roam, no matter what, because..."

"...a lifetime with you could never be enough to satisfy me." you ended the sentence for him, a sad smile on your face."And yet it was the last day I saw you alive."

He stopped suddenly, the feeling of his claws being gone and your back growing cold made you flinch and turn, wondering whether you had ruined everything. Alastors eyes looked stormy and you swallowed, your hands absent-mindedly stroking a strand of hair that fell over your shoulder. 

"I've kept my hair like this for every time I imagined your return ever since you died. To signify those days I spent longing for you, mourning after I've seen the papers and..." You closed your eyes, refusing to fall back into those dark memories. The screams the nightmares brought into your nights, fueled by the horrific stories the papers wrote about him. The hollow words of family and friends and people who were merely interested by the gossip of his life and death. The morbid curiosity and the grins and giggles at his unceremonial end while you cursed them all for tainting his image. The undying anger and hurt, your stubborn love for a man who died so young and left you to grow old alone. "...Every inch of it is a testament that I've never stopped loving you. And that I've never stopped believing in those words you said to me that day." You opened your eyes again, looking at Alastors stricken face.

"I know it's foolish..." you said gently, watching how the realization struck Alastors eyes and softened them. He visibly forced his expression to stay in the signature smile of his, but you could sense the emotion in his voice.

"Don't belittle it. Your sentiments for me have always been... most precious to me. Even now. Perhaps especially now." You shuddered when his fingertips trailed up your arms and brushed away the tick of your hair, his mouth reaching for the delicate skin of your neck. "Heaven truly lost a perfect angel the moment you fell into hell, darling."

The tears you shed were softly kissed away by him. After you both calmed down enough from the overtake of emotions, something that had become so foreign for the radio demon, he gently sat you back down in front of your vanity mirror.

"My love... as much as it honors both you and me... keeping the weight of those past memories locked in your hair isn't necessary anymore. You have me now, and I have no intention to leave, not unless you wish me to. Let me relieve you from the burden of carrying it."

Alastor cut your hair, strand by strand while you told him about the decades of life lived without him. It felt like a liberation, to finally tell him how painful the years had been and how empty and incomplete you had felt. When you ended with telling him how relieved you were that the body you spawned in your afterlife wasn't the frail and withered one you left behind, but one that resembled your happier days, young and in love and optimistic, he had cut the masses of hair to the same length you had on that fateful day at the fair. Your head felt light and you stroked the short strands, a surprised and disbelieving laugh bursting out of you when you saw that girl again in the mirror.

Alastor smiled with deep satisfaction, carefully putting the scissors away before he pulled you into a close embrace from behind, meeting your gaze in the mirror and pressing a chaste, possessive kiss to the top of your head."Who needs a mere lifetime, darling, when you can have eternity?"

[walkingstackofbooks]

A 9-year-old Julian Bashir who has had nightmares about evil doctors in an alien hospital for as long as he can remember. He doesn't tell his parents though because "he's a big boy now" and nightmares are for little kids, so he knows he should deal with them alone. And even if he'd like a hug sometimes, his mum only gives him hugs for doing well, not for doing badly, so he figures there's no point bothering her

A 15-year-old Julian Bashir who realises that the nightmares he used to have were based on the apparently very real alien hospital his parents had taken him to as a kid, and spends hours trying to figure out what were real memories and what his mind had made up over the years as he slept. The nightmares come back with an intensity, but they're nothing compared with how he's feeling when he's awake, and pretty soon they become a normal background noise of his life.

A 19-year-old Julian Bashir who's finally been moved into a solitary room after his third roommate in as many weeks complained about the almost-nightly screams. His advisor asks if he wants to speak to anyone: he claims they're just night terrors and he doesn't actually remember them. Besides, even if he could talk about what was in them, he probably wouldn't, because he's fine - he's used to them by now.

A 24-year-old Julian Bashir who gets woken from his nightmares by warm hands and gentle kisses, and learns what is like to be soothed back to sleep by the soft voice of Palis Delon

A 32-year-old Julian Bashir who has a different nightmare every night. The last year's been difficult. But then, it's been difficult for everyone, and he knows he's far from the only one to be suffering from nightmares at the moment.

A 34-year-old Julian Bashir who can't stop dreaming about the torture he went through four weeks ago, who's missing Ezri and who Miles is increasingly concerned about. When the O'Briens offer him their spare room for a while, he warns them multiple times about his nightmares, and is pathetically grateful when that doesn't change their minds. "We have nightmares too, Julian," says Keiko. "We can cope with yours."

A 34-year-old Julian Bashir who is confused when, three days later, Miles remarks, "You are having a bad run of those nightmares, aren't you?"

"They've been better than usual, actually," he replies awkwardly. "It's been really nice being able to go back to sleep afterwards, for once -- you and Keiko have been so generous in coming and checking on me."

"Course we're gonna come and check on you," says Miles gruffly. "You woke up terrified. We're not letting you do that alone."

"I'd be fine, Miles," Julian reassures. "I'm hardly going to expect one of you to come in every night."

Miles pauses. "...How long are you expecting to have them 'every night' for?" he asks, with some concern. "I mean, after a thing like this, how long does it usually take them to settle down?"

Julian stares at Miles. "I... have nightmares, Miles," he replies, frowning. "Just like you. Nightmares happen every night."

"No, they don't," says Miles, equally confused. "Don't get me wrong, they can do: after something big then sure, they're like that for a few weeks - a couple of months, even. But eventually they fall down to once, twice a week..."

Julian is looking at Miles incredulously. "That might be how it works for you," he says. "I guess my brain's different to yours. Mine don't stop, they just... mix. Change. Get confused with one another, eventually. I've had more dreams about being genetically modified by Sloan in the Dominion camp than I care to remember, you know?"

Miles' concern has turned into abject dismay. "You're saying you've had nightmares every single night since the Dominion took you?" he exclaims.

"Well, maybe not every single night!" retorts Julian, a little unsure what Miles is getting so het up about. "I do have some days when I don't... But yeah, pretty much. I've had nightmares most nights since I was fifteen, it's just how my brain processes stuff."

"Fifteen?"

...

A 34-year-old Julian who finds out that having nightmares every night for two decades is, apparently, "not normal" and something he should be seeking help for.

If Ezri comes back alive, he supposes he might take it up with her.

[fanfictiongirlie]

Twilight: Some Soulmate - Chapter One

Click here for masterlist

Parings: Paul Lahote x Reader

Description: Y/N a member of the Cullen family is imprinted on by one of the wolves, she is shocked, he is shocked. She is struggling with drinking animal blood over human, and he is disgusted by a vampire for a soulmate… But maybe it could work..?

Rating: General Audiences

Warnings: None

Words: 1,819

"Good morning" I smiled as I skipped into the living room, I wiped the blood from my mouth, my hunt was successful, disgusting, but successful. Deer blood will never quench my thirst, but to stay with my family this was to stay part of my diet. 

"Good morning Y/N, how was your hunt?" Carlisle, my longest friend asked me. I smiled weakly, I was so hungry. Esme appeared behind me, before I could answer, she placed both her hands on my shoulders giving me a tight squeeze. I always felt so loved when she was around, it relaxed me. 

"It was okay, better than last time" I answered. I was lying of course. I missed human blood more than I could even explain. I suppose one good thing that comes from only drinking animal blood was my eye colour, I must preferred the amber over the red. Of course the Amber still didn't compare to my human blue eyes. 

"Are you ready Y/N?" Alice asked me. I nodded and followed him and the rest of my siblings out the door. Luckily we were taking Rosalie's car today, I preferred her driving over Edwards. Luckily Edward was out picking his human up and taking her to school. 

I hated how Edward always smelled like her now, her blood was intoxicating. Jasper struggles too, I suppose it makes me feel better that I'm not struggling alone. I'm not sure how Edward copes. I remember when I had a blood singer, only once it had happened to me. Of course I killed him, I hadn't been a vampire long. 

We spent most of the drive silently, as we normally did. Then Alice turned back to me, smirking. 

"Guess what?"

"What?" I asked, I had an inking to what she was going to say. 

"Mike's going to try again today" She giggled.

I groaned, ever since we started at this school, two years ago, Mike Newton had tried, every few weeks to ask me out, and even though I'd say no, every time, he continues to ask. I wonder if he'd ever get bored. 

"A few months and then it's over" I smile, thinking of never having to go back to that place, I had decided this was the last time I'd attend school, at least maybe for a while. Luckily I was in the same school year as Rose and Emmett, meaning I could escape sooner. I also couldn't wait for people to stop telling me I look way too old to be in High School. Physically I was 21, way over high school age, but I had a baby face. 

We arrived at school to see Edward with his arm over Bella, I thought they weren't going to become a official thing.  I climbed out of the car.

"I'll see you at lunch" I smiled at my siblings before I set off inside the school. I had English first, a class I didn't mind too much. But of course Mike was waiting outside of my classroom, I'm sure he knows my schedule better than I do. 

"Hey Y/N!" He grinned happily. 

I muttered a small hello, he smelt so strongly of his aftershave, it was burning my nose. 

"Prom's coming up, and I was wondering if you wanted to go with me?" He asked, I pretended to take a deep breath. 

"No thank you Mike, I've said before I won't be going" I smiled sweetly, and then I pushed past him to get into my class.

~~~~~~~~

I didn't pay attention to the class, I knew everything that was being taught. Another reason why I was excited to leave, maybe I could get a job, or take another college course. I'm sure there's something I haven't read about yet. I found myself drifting into a daydream, I was excited for my life after school, but of course I'd have to stay close to the family, otherwise it would upset Carlisle and Esme, and I'd do anything for them. 

'It had been a few months since I had become a vampire, and I was leaving a long string of bodies behind me, it was so easy to keep going. No more would every suspect the woman who could easily bat her eyes and get away with whatever she wanted. It was the year 1887, I was 21. I was never meant to become a vampire, but one night, a man grabbed me, and started drinking my blood, he was going to kill me. But someone or something stopped him, and I was left to die in an alley. I was suppose to die in that alley, but a few hours late I woke up, changed. 

I was all alone, and so scared. 

Until a man found me, he was a strange man, I thought he was human at first, but just a second before I lunged I couldn't hear his heartbeat, couldn't feel the heat of his blood. I had never met another vampire. Not since I became one. 

"Who are you?" I hissed, my teeth bearing at him. 

"My name is Carlisle, if you'd let me, I'd like to help you" He smiled, I felt a warm feeling wash over me, maybe I could trust him?'

When I met Carlisle he took me in, tried to show me the vegetarian way. But I've struggled with it. After a few months with Carlisle, we realised I had a gift. Not a big one, but I can always tell what someone thinks of me, how they feel about me. It's how I could tell Carlisle was to be trusted. I can always tell if someone likes me, to dislikes me. It made hunting so fun, I could always tell if someone thought I was beautiful, it meant I could seduce them, and feed from them. 

It's how I can tell Mike only thinks I look nice, he doesn't care about anything else. 

Once class was over, and another class droned one, it was finally time for lunch. I had a blacked out water bottle full of animal blood. It was gross. 

I sat along side my siblings, except Edward, he chose to sit with Bella. I envied them almost.

Edward and I were the last two without mates. Now it was just me. 154 Years old, and I had never found someone who made me feel complete. My family had, and I endured seeing it everyday. I'm sure if my heart still worked it would be constantly breaking. 

I sipped my drink loudly, my siblings hated when I did that. I smirked at them and carried on..

~~~~~~~~

"Y/N" Esme called, I left my room and followed the noise coming from the kitchen, I walked in and was shocked. My family were cooking, actually cooking. 

"What's happening here?" I asked, watching them. I had no clue what they were even making.

"Edward is brining Bella here" Esme beamed, I rolled my eyes playfully at her, but then felt my throat burn.

"And I want everyone to be welcoming" She added. 

I put my hand to my throat and rubbed it absently. 

"Esme, I don't know if I can" I panicked "I'm worse than Jasper"

She pulled me into her arms and hugged me for a few seconds. 

"You'll be okay" I smiled at her, and stepped closer to Emmett. He was strong enough to stop me if needed. 

"Is she even Italian?" Rosalie asked. 

"Her names Bella" Emmett answered as if it was completely obvious. I started chucking at him, until I smelt it. 

Bella, her blood, it smelt amazing, intoxicating. I held onto the breakfast bar and tried concentrating. 

"Here comes the human" Rosalie sung. 

Edward and Bella walked in, Edward introduced her to Esme and Carlisle, and then brought Bella over to me. I wanted to kill him for bringing her closer. 

"This is Y/N, she's actually the third eldest in the family, after Carlisle and Jasper" He chuckled, but stopped when he saw my face. I'm sure he could hear me cursing him in my head. 

"Yes Edward, mention my age" I said grimly, but it gave me an excuse to walk out. I needed to hunt.

I left my house quick, and ran into the forest, I found something to feed on, and managed to get blood all over myself. I looked a complete state. I slumped against a tree, and sat. I sat and sat for hours, thinking, and making a weird little flower chain. I was quite content, and calming myself down. Until I heard a growl. 

I looked up, and jumped in fear, I jumped so I was clinging onto the tree a few feet off the ground. 

I heard the growl again, realising it was probably a animal, I jumped to the ground. I was still thirsty, perhaps I could find the source. Without a sound I slowly started walking towards the animal, I had picked up it's scent, it was foul smelling. No animal I had smelt before. 

I stopped, deciding to find a more appealing animal, until it jumped into the clearing. 

"Oh, it's one of you" I hissed, one of the shapeshifters. I hadn't seen this wolf before, not that I had seen many. He was dark silver, and was looking incredibly angry at me. 

I looked into its eyes, I wasn't sure if it was going to attack or not, but I wasn't going to make a move. Suddenly I felt something wash over me, a strong feeling of love and care, it confused me. I didn't understand what was happening, but the feeling was coming from him. 

"What's happening" I stutter at the wolf. The wolf looked scared now, he growled once more and ran off. I copied, and ran home, fast. 

"Carlisle" I screamed when I got close enough to the house. My family were outside the greet me, all of them worried.

"He imprinted on you" Edward suddenly said, I was still confused.

"What?" I screamed, they all flinched. 

"Imprinting is when a wolf finds their soulmate" Carlisle explained carefully 

"So a wolf is my soulmate? They hate us! They want us dead!" I yelled "Not to mention I'm not even allowed on their land"

I started walking towards the house, wanting to be away from everyone. 

"Some soulmate" I scoffed to myself, knowing the others could hear too. 

I walked into my room, shutting my door and locking it. 

I grabbed my laptop and started researching about the wolves, and their legends, and mostly about imprinting. Apparently it didn't happen very often, it was described as extremely rare. I didn't even know the wolf, I had no way of finding out who he was either. I wasn't allowed on their land, not that I was brave enough to even go close. 

To make matters even worse, I'm not sure there was anything I could even speak to about this.. 

Next Part

[chaysreality222]

˚₊‧꒰ა ꣑ৎ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

꣑ৎ 𝓣𝐇𝐄 𝓒𝐎𝐌𝐅𝓞𝐑𝓣 𝓞𝐅 𝓢𝐇𝐈𝐅𝓣𝐈𝐍𝓖 ꣑ৎ

hii lovelies :ଓ i'm proud of you for shifting to your drs and receiving all your manifestations effortlessly <3 for any of you who deal with anxiety, i made this post for you. or maybe you're going through something right now and need a pick me up. i'm hoping this helps <3

the knowledge and act of reality shifting has really been like this warm hug in a sense that when i'm in the depths of any negative feeling, thought, or situation, merely remembering this knowledge brings comfort to me.

as a person who deals with anxiety on a daily basis, everyday activities that any "normal" person can do could be a struggle for me half of the time. simply ordering food in a restaurant or having to go up to the cashier brings me into a mode of stress and anxiety. but remembering that there are multiple universes/realities out there that i exist in simultaneously to this one comforts me. it makes me realize that the things i'm feeling anxious or stressed about are small.

thinking thoughts like, "i'm in the middle of slaying a dragon in another reality somewhere. i'm pretty sure ordering food isn't that scary", "shifting to other realities will have it's own obligations. having to do a presentation for this class just so happened to be my current realties obligation", or "if i can do it in every other reality, i can do it here. i'm limitless".

these reminders tend to help me a lot, especially in the darkest of times. it also helps me to be in tuned with my dr self depending on the situation and dr i can connect it to. for example, driving. to make it short, it has personally be an anxiety-filled experience. but saying to myself, "i literally drive in my vampire diaries or twilight dr all the time [any said dr]. if i can do it there, i'm sure i can do it here". a sense of relief washes over me and i begin to feel calm again.

as for situations like dealing with family drama or any issues in general. it's comforting to know that i can use reality shifting as a form of escapism. merely thinking of the fact that, "i'm not dealing with this in [said dr]" can be relieving as well. maybe even asking yourself, "what would my dr self do in this situation?" or "how would my dr self cope with/handle this situation".

in hopes that you would choose to healthily cope with/handle the situation, maybe your dr self would go to one of your greatest friends to vent or seek advice? maybe you aren't ready to talk about it? what i'd do if i were in my hogwarts dr, i'd go down to the black lake to just put my feet in the water or skip rocks. being close to water helps me to be calm and think clearly while also processing my emotions. just thinking about what i'd do as my dr self helps me to face what i'm feeling/thinking about in a better way. a way that doesn't lead to self destruction but growth.

i'm hoping this brought comfort to you like it did me. you can overcome anything, just like you always do in all your other realties! as always, Happy Shifting!

xoxo, c!

[isa-ghost]

Maybe I'd cope better with QSMP being dead if we had a world download where I could go on nostalgia trips wandering around and taking pretty screenshots with shaders.