#maybe I’ll raise them up and then Roxie can have them idk

[theonlythingimfuckingisstupid]

me: yeah I’ll take two small crickets please :)

pet store employee: oh eight smal crickets? I can do that

[ri-ahhh]

idk if you’ve heard the song toxic by kehlani but maybe you could write something based off that song where a tipsy y/n calls up her on and off ex (grayson) to come over 👀 i love your writing btw

It’s already late when your best friend Fallon knocks sharply on the front door of your apartment. You had texted her not even half an hour ago, all up in your feels after you saw Grayson’s Snapchat story of him and some friends at the beach, an unfamiliar and pretty blonde girl tucked under his arm in one of the photos. She had responded immediately, letting you know she was on her way.

Feet clad in your fuzzy pink slippers, the strings of Grayson’s old hoodie keeping the hood cinched around your face tightly, you heave yourself off your comfy couch and trudge over to the front door to let her in. When you swing it open, she’s standing there with her hands full with her purse in one and an obvious brown paper bag in the other.

You stand aside silently, letting her pass the threshold and dump her shit on the kitchen island. “You didn’t have to bring alcohol, Fal, you know I don’t drink like that anymore.”

“Exactly,” Fallon deadpans, whipping out the bottle from the bag. “You stopped drinking because of Grayson Dolan. I think you owe it to yourself to let yourself start drinking because of him, too.”

You push the hood off your head and take the blue bottle from her when she offers it to you. Your brows raise. “You bought me Don Julio to cry over my ex? Isn't this, like, $50 for a bottle?”

Fallon waves a hand dismissively. “That’s exactly why I got it; you’re not gonna cry over your ex. Wine of any kind is crying juice. Vodka makes you a dumb bitch, and bottom shelf tequila makes you cry, a dumb bitch, and a ho. You need the good stuff, so we can bring out the bad bitch. Who can talk about her ex, get it all out, without crying again, or texting him, or posting a thirst trap.”

You roll your eyes. “That was only one time I accidentally sent you that nude instead of Grayson. And we were still together, so it didn't count as being a ho. I was just giving my boyfriend good spank bank material.”

Fallon is already rummaging through your cabinets, in search of the nearly-forgotten shot glasses. “Babe, you know I support every woman’s right to be a ho as much as she wants, especially after a breakup, but this is Grayson we’re talking about. You two were so into each other, it was toxic. You fought all the time, and by your own admission fixed everything with sex. You’re addicted, and as your best friend, I’m inserting myself here to keep you from talking to him anymore.”

She turns around, two little glasses in hand, and looks at you then the bottle in your hands pointedly. You give in and pull out the stopper and the Don Julio Blanco to her. 

“Now, I’m not gonna get you drunk. But we’re gonna get enough in you to loosen up that tongue, you’re gonna get all your Grayson shit out before I leave, and we’re gonna go to bed happy and feeling better,” she says matter-of-factly, pouring the clear liquid into the glasses. She hands one of them to you. “Cheers, bitch.”

Right before you clink and tap, Fallon’s phone buzzes. She leans over to check it where it’s resting on the counter, and her eyes widen. “Shit...”

“What?” you ask concernedly. Fallon puts down her glass and starts typing madly.

“It’s my downstairs neighbor. She said Roxy’s been barking for nearly an hour straight and she’s gonna file another noise complaint if I don’t get there to let her out.” She stops for a moment and looks at you. “Shit. I’ll get evicted if I get another one. Like actually evicted.”

Fallon’s dog Roxy has serious attachment issues, which is usually extremely annoying, but right now you're thanking her. You love Fallon to death, but this isn’t exactly the friend therapy you needed or expected when you called her up to come over. 

“Dude, go! I promise I’m fine. I don’t need to worry about you being homeless on top of my shit.”

“Okay. I’m sorry, babe, I promise I’ll FaceTime you as soon as I’m home.” She’s gathering her things, leaving the tequila open on the counter. “Make good choices, please. Love you!”

“Love you!” you call out behind her as she rushes through the door.

The door slams, and it leaves a ringing silence almost as loud as your best friend. You look around at your suddenly empty apartment, your eyes landing on the still-full shot glasses.

What the hell? You snatch one of them off the counter and down it with a grimace. Admittedly, it was the best tequila you’ve ever had, but it’s still tequila. The burn travels down your esophagus and settles in your near-empty belly. The sensation reminds you that you’ve hardly eaten today, and one shot was probably more than enough considering your lack of food and the fact that you’ve probably reverted to being an extreme lightweight after not drinking for so long. 

You and Grayson have barely been broken up for a month, and despite how hard it’s been, you haven't been tempted to touch more than a glass of wine or an occasional Whiteclaw if the stress of the day was too much. But it never felt right to have more. Grayson is still a part of you, even though that’s part of the reason you broke up to begin with. The two of you were becoming codependent on each other, which was turning into jealousy and neediness that built up into huge, explosive fights and ended with you fucking on whatever surface was nearest.

It was, indeed, a vicious, toxic cycle. Even though you tell yourself it’s for the best, you also can’t shake the feeling that the two of you aren’t done. That there’s still hope for your relationship, especially now that you’ve spent time apart.

Fallon’s tactics have backfired as you stomp back to the couch and snatch your phone off the cushion. Julio has given you the liquid courage you need to do exactly what Fallon told you not to.

I miss u

A classic. You wish you had it in you to be more creative, but the simple truth of it is: you do miss him. You miss his laugh. You miss his smell. You miss coming home to him, either here or at his house, after a long day. You miss his kisses. You miss his dick. 

There’s little shame for yourself in admitting that. You used it to solve your problems, but you were blind to that before the breakup. Everything is more clear now, especially the fact that you still love him deeply. 

Suddenly, your phone starts buzzing. You don’t even look at the caller ID, assuming it’s Fallon calling impatiently from her car. 

“Hello?”

“Hey.”

The deep voice on the other end of the phone startles you, and you hold it away from your face to see his name in big, white letters. No longer ‘Gray’ with some heart emojis, but ‘Grayson Dolan.’

You swallow hard and put the phone back to your ear. “Uh, hi, Hey.”

There’s a beat of silence before he speaks again. “I, uh, got your text.”

You don’t say anything, picking at a piece of fluff on your slipper.

“I miss you too. Like, a lot. Too much.”

You bite your lip tightly, chewing it nervously. You hadn’t expected him to fucking call. Calling and texting had two very different vibes. Over text, you would probably say something cute and calm and ask if the two of you could get coffee tomorrow.

But a call? You can hear his voice for the first time in weeks. It makes you want to jump through the phone and wrap him in your arms, to cry in his chest -- from happiness or sadness, you’re not sure. Either way, this is the closest you’ve felt to him in so long, and it makes you weak.

Grayson may be loud, but he’s good at shutting up when he wants an answer. It’s one of the things that drove you most crazy when you fought. He’d yell his piece, then stare at you until you had a retort. Sometimes you did, sometimes you didn't; you were always both at fault, for the most part. 

You take a deep breath and find your voice at last. “Me too. I...I haven’t been doing so great. Without you.”

She hears him sigh. “Me neither.” He pauses, and you wait anxiously. “Look, I’ll be honest. I was with Ethan when I got your text and he...well, he doesn’t think it’s a good idea that I called you. Or that we’re talking to each other, period.”

He leaves his sentence hanging, almost like an open-ended question without phrasing it as such. You can't stop the laugh from bubbling past your lips as you shake your head. “Fallon was just over at my place and said the same thing. So that either makes us really fucking stupid, or our best friends just don’t understand.”

“Famous last words, either way,” Grayson chuckled with you. You can hear crickets chirping in the background, and imagine he’s sitting outside by the pool. The two of you used to like to do that together.

You decide to follow his example and head out to your balcony, plopping down in one of the plastic chairs with your knees tucked to your chest. “What do you think about us talking, then?”

He doesn't miss a beat. “I think I miss you. And I love you. And I know I fucked up a lot, but I’ve been actually reflecting on everything that was wrong with us and I think I know now what I can do better. This time apart has been really fucking hard, but I think it was a good thing. For me, anyways.”

Your lip finds its way between your teeth again. You clamp it hard to hold back the shake in your voice. “Me too, Gray. I wasn’t perfect by any means, either. But as long as we both know what we need to work on, I want to try again if you do.”

“I do want that,” Grayson sighs, relief flooding his voice. He laughs that laugh you missed so much. “You have no idea how happy that makes me. I’ve been driving E crazy having these meltdowns all the time thinking about how I fucked up so bad that I wouldn’t ever get you back.”

You smile into your knees, and decide in that moment to risk it for the sake of your biscuit, which throbs at the mere thought and sound of him. “Is it too early to mention that I miss all of you?”

“Careful, or I might think you only want me back for my body.”

“I mean, I definitely had to use my imagination a few times without the real thing. I only had to think of you, though. How good you fuck me.”

This right here is probably where the tequila is coming in to play. Fallon was wrong again; you’re about to go Full Ho, having phone sex with your kind-of ex.

His breath picks up nearly imperceptibly, but you can also hear the smirk in his voice. “How many times did I make you squirt in the tiny house shed that one time, baby? That was so hot.”

“Mm, it was so good, Gray. I remember you had to carry me inside to your bed because I couldn’t walk. And then you fucked me nice and hard on your bed.” A rush of wetness floods your panties, and you squeeze your thighs together. “You came all in my mouth that night. I miss how your cum tastes.”

“Fuck,” he whispers. “Can I come over?”

You hesitate. You think of Fallon, of Ethan, of Don Julio. Of Grayson.

“Yes. Please.”

[birriabirria]

polaris is @/regulusrain

terezi: you two don’t have a sacred animal yet dave: guess i could make crows my sacred animals dirk: i am not making seagulls my sacred animal karkat: maybe try an anime girl dirk: i am gonna make my sacred animal an anime girl karkat: i was fucking *joking* when i said that terezi: do it dirk: got it karkat: TEREZI terezi: KARKAT karkat: if i see it when i go down there, i fucking *swear* i’ll destroy it dave: even if it’s from another god dave: that’s heresy karkat: DAVE dave: i’m gonna make hello kitty my sacred animal jade: that’s cute!!! karkat: DIRK dirk: yeah it’s my fault dirk: not rescinding it every time karkat sees the statue of dirk’s sacred animal, he makes this even deeper >:( face. dirk sees it and it never fails to amuse him each time. when they visit their sections, dirk stands on top of the giant statue of his sacred animal and waves at karkat. dirk can feel karkat’s extra deep >:( jane loses her shit every time she sees the statue of dirk’s sacred animal and every time she goes down to the earth and catches sight of it, she goes into a laughing fit that lasts minutes jake: are all of your citizens really clerks??? karkat: and librarians rose: can you send some to me? jade: me too!!! dirk: can i have some? karkat: sure (not all of karkat’s citizens are actually clerks and librarians! but they’re all organized so being clerks and librarians is the stereotype) polaris: Dave’s citizens are all artists. Jane’s are cooks and bakers? Jade’s are hunters and scientists? that would be hard to do so maybe they’re like the most respected jobs? polaris: Maybe yeah. Like the districts in Hunger Games? yeah! and like maybe those jobs become the stereotypical jobs of people from a creators’ section? polaris: What if it’s a personality thing? Like idk. If you’re organized they say that you’re from Karkat’s section. Since everyone moves, the sections all got mixed so it’s more. A category? Urgh don’t know how to explain it. like traits that show that they’re a creator’s worshipper? polaris: Yeah, kind of? Like… It’s not because of where they come but who they’re affiliated with? Like those who are organized are more likely to worship Karkat but it’s not set in stone. You can come from, say, Dirk’s section and worship John instead of Dirk, idk. hm… like there’s cross-section worshipping? polaris: Yeah maybe?? Idk just like… It’s not a geographic thing? Like just becayse you’re born in Karkat’s section doesn’t means that you’ll automatically worship Karkat - there’s a strong chance cause it’s Karkat’s section and therefore filled with Karkat’s worshippers so if you grow up with them of course - idk… i think i might get it. like… someone’s born to karkat’s section is /assumed/ to worship him because the vast majority of the people who live there do but that assumption can be incorrect because the person might worship another creator? polaris: Yeah! It’s like… You’re born into a faith but if something else suits you better you might change? yeah, a person is born and raised into a faith but change faiths when they grow up! dirk: anybody want to make some kaiju? gamzee: what’s kaiju? rose: giant monsters meenah: fuck yeah i want one gamzee: i want one too calliope: i don’t jake: that’s a no from me karkat: no terezi: i want a giant monster! dirk: jane, you want a giant monster? jane: absolutely roxy: i wanna try it out rose: you want any giant monsters, john? john: yeah!!! polaris: Jake saw enough monsters for like two lifetimes thank you. eventually the creators takes sections of all the cold places. they send people to it and watch as they slowly build a life there the citizens of each section wear color-coded clothes too! john’s citizen wear blue, dave’s citizens wear red,  rose’s citizens wear lavender, yellow and orange, jade’s citizens wear green, black and white, jane’s citizens wear blue and brown, jake’s citizens wear dark green and yellow, dirk’s citizens wear dark pink and orange and roxy’s citizens wear pink and dark blue kanaya’s citizens and wear jade and other different colors, gamzee’s citizens wear shades of purple, karkat’s citizens wear black, gray and dark red, terezi’s citizens wear teal and blue-green. calliope’s citizens wear red, green and black, davepetasprite’s citizens wear orange and green, arquiusprite’s citizens wear red, indigo and black. meenah’s citizens wear fuschia and black and jasprosesprite’s citizens wear purple and pink the creators making deals with each other for bits of land and even make trade deals so they can go down there and tell their citizens to take it dave: you capitalist jane: thank you! jane: that’ll be twelve apple juice bottles please dave: ugh dave: [hands them over] jane: and here’s the mine! (karkat: what’s a capitalist? terezi: maybe it’s something to do with dave and the economy? kanaya: he does talk about it quite often gamzee: maybe it’s a nickname for jane?) the creators replacing the interjections and “god” in “i swear to god” with each other’s names! jake: kanaya fucking maryam! terezi: i swear to jade harley the creators appearing as giants to the people of earth c sounds pretty cool since gamzee has to play and talk to the other creators, i guess karkat and terezi are kinda okay with him now? hahahaha polaris: I mean pretty sure Terezi would avoid him for, say, two centuries but Karkat… Idk. They were moirails at some point so… Also he would keep an eye on Gamzee to make sure he doesn’t go murderous again so maybe they can become friends again? Even if it would take a long long time for Karkat to forgive him. that’s what i meant with “kinda okay” they’re not even remotely friendly with him and only talk to him when they absolutely have to jane: [comes back to the platform] jane: [puts her head on the table] roxy: you okay jane? jane: i had to yell at them roxy: what did they do? jane: they were thinking about being cannibals roxy: roxy: yeah, that’s worth yelling at jake: [comes over and pats jane comfortingly in the back] polaris: Meanwhile, the trolls are genuinely confused, because “what’s wrong with cannibalism?” roxy and dirk: we should have expected that jake and jane: ????? ???? ? no????

[amanda-teaches]

Handle with Care

Summary: While cooking Dean a special Thanksgiving pie, you have a little “accident” in the kitchen, leading to some fun with a fire extinguisher.

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Square filled: Pie for @spndeanbingo​ and Free Space for @spngenrebingo​

Word Count: 1421

Warnings: A tiny bit of language, mostly fluff

A/N: This was written for @stunudo​ for my Fall “drabbles”, a term I use loosely because none of them have actually been drabbles. Her request was “Reader tries to bake Dean a pie he's never had before? (I suck at fluff, idk but I wanted to send something fun in.) xoxo.” You do not suck at fluff, Stu, I loved this request!

It was no secret that there were very few things in this world that Dean Winchester loved more than pie. 

Well, of course, Sam and Baby were definitely up there for sure, but pie was, without a doubt, in the top 5 of Dean’s favorite things.

So, when Thanksgiving rolled around, you’d been excited to volunteer for dessert duty. You’d thought that if you could make Dean the best pumpkin pie he’d ever had, you’d be able to show him how much he meant to you, something you could never get up the nerve to tell him yourself. But, when you’d overheard Dean talking to Sam about not having much to be thankful for this year, you became even more determined to make this a Thanksgiving he’d never forget.

You quickly decided that the traditional pumpkin pie wouldn’t be special enough for Dean this year. If you really wanted him to have something special, you’d need to get a little more creative to knock it out of the park. So, you decided to look up recipes for pies that Dean had never had before, something he would really love. After a lot (and lot) of research, you finally settled on a pie that combined all of Dean’s favorite things: Whiskey Bacon Irish Apple.

You wanted it to be perfect, so you decided to do a test run before Thanksgiving, gathering all of the ingredients and locking yourself away in the kitchen. You had just started cutting the apples when the door cracked open, and Dean popped his head in. “Hey…” he started hopefully.

“Nuh uh,” you interrupted, holding your hand up to stop him. “I told you, Dean, no sneak peeks.”

“Oh, come on,” he begged, pushing the door open fully and shuffling in, his hands folded in a silent plea. His eyes were as big as a puppy’s, and you bit your lip to keep from laughing, turning away from him so he wouldn’t see.

“No, Dean. It’s supposed to be a surprise. No. Sneak. Peeks.”

He raised his hand, pushing his index finger and thumb together until they were just a few centimeters apart. “Just a little one? Please….”

You rolled your eyes, chuckling softly to yourself. Damn, he was hard to resist. “Fine, you can stay, but only while I mix the filling. After that, you’re out, got it?”

“Got it,” Dean promised solemnly, plopping down on one of the island stools with a grin. “Scout’s honor.”

“Ha!” you laughed. “Like you were ever a boy scout.”

Dean chuckled deeply as you turned back to your apples, making the last few cuts. When you were finished, you threw them into a pan, turning the flame on low. “Alright,” you whispered. “Time for the magic touch.”

You pulled a few pieces of bacon from the package on the table and added them to a second, already hot pan. As they began to crackle and sizzle, you heard Dean moan behind you. “Ohhh…”

“Like what you see?” you laughed. Pausing, you picked up the whiskey bottle sitting on the counter next to you, smiling knowingly. “Just wait ‘til you see what’s next.”

Dean stared at you in anticipation, and you couldn’t help but show off, moving a little slower as you spun back to your pans. The bacon was still sizzling in the hottest one, so you turned towards the low-heat pan with the apples, preparing to add the whiskey. But, before you could, you looked over your shoulder, making the mistake of establishing eye contact with Dean’s intensely eager gaze. You smiled back at him and tipped the bottle to pour it, but your divided attention led you to accidentally push your hand a little too far to the left, right towards the bacon.

It felt like it all happened in slow motion, tipping the bottle, looking back to see it hit the scalding, bacon-coated plan, the cloud of burning hot steam flying back at you. Before you knew it, the flames were rising up, the alcohol feeding them up and into the air.

“Oh my God!” you screamed, raising your hand to shield your face. Within seconds, Dean was there, having catapulted over the island to stand in front of you. He grabbed a towel and began beating back the flame, trying to reach the burners.

“Y/N, quick, get back!”

You stepped back, watching as Dean continued to use the towel as half-weapon, half-shield against the high flames. Looking around, you struggled to find a way to help him, your eyes eventually landing on the fire extinguisher Sam had insisted on mounting in the corner. You ran over and grabbed it before sprinting back to Dean.

“Okay, okay, okay,” you yelled, adjusting the extinguisher in your hand, pointing the hose at Dean and feeling for the lever. “Hold on, Dean, I got it!”

“Y/N, wait!” Dean warned, his hand already on the burner, but it was too late. You pulled the lever, spraying thick, white foam all over the stove, and all over Dean.

When you looked up, you gasped, one hand flying to your mouth to cover the laugh that you couldn’t stop from escaping. In front of you, the fire was out, but Dean was covered head to toe in the white, soapy fire-killing foam. 

He looked like a giant, grumpy marshmallow.

You giggled and placed the fire extinguisher on the ground. “Dean, I am so, so sorry…” you started, but your continued laughter took some of the sincerity from your words.

“You know…” Dean grumbled, wiping the foam away from his face with the back of his hand. “I think I could’ve handled that one without your ‘help’.”

“Sorry?” you repeated, but the smile on your face told a different story, and Dean noticed.

“Oh, you think this is funny, huh?” Dean sassed, crossing his arms over his chest, the movement making them slip and slide.

“A little,” you laughed, nodding vigorously.

Dean grinned, his eyes twinkling. “Well, then, maybe I should give some to you.” He opened his arms wide, moving to hug you, but you shook your head, stepping back.

“Oh, no, Dean, don’t you dare!” You held up your finger in warning, but he ignored it, his grin widening.

“Oh, I dare,” Dean growled, moving at lightning speed towards you. You shrieked and rushed away, running around the kitchen, but he quickly caught you, wrapping his arms around your waist and lifting you high up off the floor. You squealed and struggled a little, but he had you, pulling you down until you were both lying on the floor, covered in foam, with Dean hovering over you, his weight propped up on one forearm while his other arm stayed firmly wrapped around your waist.

He gently lifted one hand and brushed the hair out of your face, leaving a streak of foam behind. “There that’s better.”

You grinned, letting out a sigh. “I guess that recipe was a fail, huh?”

He cracked a smile, shaking his head. “Nah, definitely not a fail. You kidding me? Bacon and whiskey? Home run. Maybe next time, I’ll actually get to try it before you set the place on fire.”

You laughed before stilling in his arms, your breath catching as you stared into his eyes. “I just wanted to make you happy, give you something to be thankful for this Thanksgiving. I heard you talking to Sam…”

His eyes widened, understanding dawning on him. “Is that what this is about? Y/N…” He smiled softly, resting a hand on your cheek. “Darlin’, you give me something to be thankful for every single day. Don’t you know how important you are to me, how happy you make me, how much I lov…”

He paused, his voice trailing off, but you could see the emotions written all over his face and you beamed. “Dean, I love you, too.”

His grin widened, happiness radiating out of it. “You do? Cause, I mean, you don’t have to say it just ‘cause you thought I was gonna say it. If you don’t really…”

“Shut up,” you laughed, leaning up to kiss him, your hands tangling with the foam blended in his hair as his arm tightened around your waist.

When you pulled back, both of your lips were covered in foam, but you didn’t care. “I think I should make pies more often,” you laughed.

“Mmm, hell yeah, you should,” he concurred, grinning as he leaned back in. “Although, maybe a little less fire extinguisher next time, huh?”

Forevers- @hamartiamacguffin​ @mrsdeanfuckingwinchester​ @katymacsupernatural​ @impandagrl​ @cyrilconnelly​ @impala-dreamer​ @castielhasthetardis​ @jarpadandjensenaremyheroes​ @be-amaziing​ @jalove-wecallhimdean​ @there-must-be-a-lock​ @mysterious-398​ @hannahindie​ @emoryhemsworth​ @ohmychuckitssamanddean​ @wi-deangirl77​ @carryonmywaywardcaptain​ @ericaprice2008​ @masksandtruths​ @roxyspearing​ @squirrel-moose-winchester​ @sweetpeamoose​ @babypieandwhiskey​ @deans-dirty-writer​ @roxy-davenport​ @heyitscam99​ @starry-chaos @spnbaby-67​ @mogaruke​ @atc74​ @dolphincliffs​ @closetspngirl​ @maddiepants​

Dean Tags- @akshi8278​ @whimsicalrobots​ @dean-winchesters-bacon​ @adoptdontshoppets​ @alexwinchester23​

[swiss-cheeze]

Roxie || Tommy Lee

A/N: I kind of hate this, I didn’t know how to end it so I just ended it really.

Warnings: swearing, mentions of drugs, physical abuse, verbal (?) abuse (?) maybe (?) idk.

———

The bus rolled across the rocky road as you and the rest of the band sat out in the front room with Roxie. You sighed softly as you read over the same sentence a third time for the past few minutes, the bus was so quiet and boring that you couldn't concentrate how you normally would, having music would normally be your go-to with your walkman but considering you had left your headphones back in the state you had just left you couldn't exactly do much considering you where only another five hours away from the next stop.

“Hey, Sixx, I keep-” Tommy said quickly as he walked from the bunks to Nikkis seat. You looked up from your book as Nikki handed Tommy something and he quickly snorted it, you cringed softly at the motion. “I keep having this vision, right, where my drum set, it rises up like this…” Tommy brought up his hands flat and rose them slowly as Nikki looked up briefly, “And then bam! Smoke, lights, and the whole thing starts spinning around, and I'm playing drums upside down and…” Tommy paused, '' I should just draw it for you”. The drummer turned around to his fiancee, “hey Rox, you got a pen? Gimme a pen” and then Tommy turned back around to face Nikki, “but, like, a cage or something. I dunno” the drummer sighed as Rox grabbed a pen before fiddling with it, you knew this wasn't good, a weird vibe suddenly came from the girl.

This can't be good, you thought as you watched Roxie play with the pen before looking to Tommy.

“Your Mum’s a cunt” Roxie sneered, your eyes widened as Vince, Mick and Nikki all looked around to Rox. Tommy did the same with the same amount of confusion the rest of you had, you shot a look to Mick and the guitarist simply shrugged softly.

“What? Why would you say that?” Tommy said uncertain to the girls sudden words as he twisted in his seat to look to Roxie, confusion and annoyance written on his face clear as day.

“Because she is. Shes a cunt” Roxie sneered again. Tommy was getting annoyed.

“Quit it.” the drummer said flatly, “gimme the pen alright?” Tommy said as he turned back around to Nikki, mumbling a ‘the fuck?’. This was when Roxie started.

“It's not like she has ANYTHING to do with us getting married” Roxie said annoyingly as she waved her hand around for effect. Tommy turned around to face Roxie as you shared a look with Vince.

“Baby, its sweet, alright? Its-its tradition!” Tommy said trying to prove his point. Roxie stood up annoyed.

“Which tradition!? The mandatory meeting of the cunt!” Roxie shouted as Tommy pointed a finger to Roxies face and quickly half stood up. You placed the bookmark into your book and gave the argument your full attention knowing you would soon need to step in.

“Don't call her that again, you hear me?” Tommy growled as he stared Roxie down before the drummer resumed his position with Nikki. Roxie geared up with a breath as she slammed the pen she had grabbed into Tommys shoulder.

“Here’s your pen!” the woman said aggravated. Tommy backed down into the seat next to him as he turned around quickly.

“OW! What the fuck is wrong with you?!” Tommy yelled as he looked to Nikki with confusion and then back to Roxie.

“Fuck you, and fuck your mother!” Roxie yelled and pointed to prove her point. Roxies hair was out of place and a sneer was resting over her mouth as she took a step back as Tommy stood up.

“That's it! This fucking bitch is out of here. Pull over!” Tommy yelled quickly as he pointed towards the driver before grabbing Roxie and pushing her towards the bus door. You sat on the edge of your seat, gearing up to jump in and stop the fight if it got any worse; surely it couldn't, right? “Get the fuck off my bus! Get the fuck out!” Tommy yelled as he continued to push Roxie making the girl stumble with the seating in her way, as Tommy pushed the girl towards the front of the bus Roxie retaliated and pushed Tommy back with all her might. This made you quickly stand up knowing it wasn't going to end well.

“You are such, a spoiled little mama’s boy. ‘Cause you wanna crawl back inside her cunt!” Roxie yelled.

“OI” you yelled, it was directed towards the pair but it didn't stop either of them as Tommy took his swing. The sound gravited throughout the bus and you gasped as your hand covered your mouth.

“Jesus Christ!” Nikki said as Tommy breathed heavily as he stood up properly. Roxie stumbled slightly in her place as she tried to find something to steady her, you could hear her labored breaths as she too couldn't believe what had just happened. The girl flipped her head up as she uncovered her bloodied mouth and looked to her blood covered hand for a moment, letting the action sink in as she looked back to Tommy. The blood covered her red washed lips and fingertips.

“I told you not to say that.” Tommy said breathlessly, “fuck!” his hair was a mess as he quickly ran past you and into the bunks behind you, almost taking you with him in the process with the amount of force he used to get passed you. You looked to Roxie with sympathy as did the rest of the band as her shaking hand came up to wipe her mouth.

“Oh baby” you said softly, you grabbed the nearest box of tissues and quickly walked over to the girl, Roxie looked towards you with fear as she thought you may hurt her too, “no darling, im tryna help” you said softly. Roxie sniffed and nodded as she let you guide her to the nearest seat and tilted her head up by her chin softly to see the damage, you sighed, “I'm gonna go get a wet cloth, stay here” Roxie nodded as you gave her the tissue and she dapped at her swollen lips. You looked to Nikki, Vince and Mick, “make sure she doesnt go, do, or say anything while I'm gone for five seconds okay?” you asked as you stalked behind the door leading to the bunks, back room and bathroom. As you walked towards the bathroom you could hear the ragged breathing from Tommy as well as his fast paced footsteps in the backroom, he obviously knew what he had done and knew he couldn't take it back. You scoffed softly as you entered the bathroom, and put a cloth under some warm water before exiting the bathroom, only to find Tommy looking towards you.

“I- I really didn't-” Tommy started before you cut him off.

“I’ll speak to you after I’ve cleaned up your fucking mess, once again” you said as you sent a death stare to Tommy who physically looked in pain, took a step back, nodded and slumped on the large couch behind him as he placed his head in his hands. Moving back into the front room you saw Roxie nursing a bottle of vodka as the others had gone back to their business, you scoffed and rolled your eyes as you stepped forward and crouched in front of Roxie, the girl let you slip the vodka bottle from her, still trembling, hands and place some on the washcloth. Gripping Roxies chin softly you guided her head up and started the clean up; wiping the swollen lip with the vodka infused cloth, making the girl hissed softly at the sting, before going on with her chin, around her mouth and hands.

“I’m sorry” you heard Roxie say softly as you kiss the girls fingertips softly, a soft sigh left your mouth as you looked to her.

“I hope you do know it is kind of your fault” you said as you dropped the cloth onto the table nearest to you before sitting down on the walkway floor in front of the girl as she took a painful swig of the vodka, her eyes scrunching up from the pain as she nodded.

“I know it is, i dunno why i did it” Roxie said softly as her eyes welled with tears as she looked to you, “can I at least stay on here until the next city?” the girl asked with hope, you were about to respond with a warming smile before Mick cut in.

“I don't think that’d be a good idea,” the man said gruffly, Roxie looked to Mick with sadness as she nodded and sniffed softly.

“Understandable” Roxie said softly as the girl stood up.

“What? No!” you exclaimed quickly as you stood up, “no way are we letting you off here and now,” you turned to Mick and gave the old man a death glare before turning back to Roxie, “you’re staying here until we get to the next city, no questions asked or anything else said” you replied quickly, “it’s only another five hours, after that I’ll personally buy you a plane ticket back to where you live” you said to Roxie, the girl smiled brightfully as she brought you into a strong hug.

“Thank you so much” Roxie said into your neck, you smiled as you hugged the girl back tightly. Nikki sighed as you let the girl go.

“I’m gonna go and talk to Tommy in the back, when we’re done you can put your things back in your suitcase and get ready and everything” you said with a smile. You turned around to walk out the back and shot another glare to Mick who simply stared at you as you left through the door. Walking down the hall filled with bunks and stinking, sweaty stage clothes you stepped over the discarded shoes, underwear, drumsticks and a few baggies of cocaine. You sighed softly as you came to the backroom and opened the door to find Tommy sitting with his elbows on his knees and one of his legs bouncing; deep in though the drummer didn't even notice you had walked in. You coughed. “Ahem” Tommy looked up with wide eyes as he stood up quickly and walked towards you.

“(Y/n), i’m so sorry,” the drummer began as he stood in front of you and held your biceps in a piercing grip. You kept your cool, “is Roxie still here? She's not gonna marry me now, (Y/n) please tell me what's going on instead of gaping there in front of me like a fish out of water!” the drummer pleaded, his voice raising with every word. You looked to Tommy with a dead stare, “WELL?!” Tommy yelled.

SLAP

Tommys face turned to the right as he stumbled slightly and fell back onto the couch, Tommy looked to you with a confused face and a gaping mouth, “WHAT THE FU-”

“Thomas Lee Bass,” you said calmly, Tommy looked to you as if you had the plague and his eyes widened, “you just punched your now ex-fiance, we are less than five hours away from the next city. You will buy Roxie a new plane ticket back to her own town, you will pay for the taxi she takes and you will pay for whatever flight she wants whether that's first class or business or anything she wants.” you stared at Tommy with a death stare as the drummer looked as if he was a puppy thrown into a wall, “you will go out there and apologise to Roxie for punching her, tell her you’re paying for her plane ticket, the food or drinks she gets and the taxi she uses to get home,” you sat down next to Tommy and placed a hand on his thigh. Tommy sighed and placed his head in his hands.

“Roxie kind of started it” the drummer mumbled, you sighed softly as your hand came to Tommy's back and rubbed his sweaty back.

“I know” you said softly, “she knows too, but you’re the one who took the swing when you knew you should have been the bigger person” you said softly. Tommy nodded as he leant into your touch and your side, you sighed softly as you let Tommy cuddle into your side as the drummer put his face into your neck and sniffled.

“I-I really liked her” Tommy whispered as he got comfortable in your arms and you placed your head on Tommys.

“I know Tommy, we liked her too” you said softly, “but” you sighed softly as you recalled what Nikki had told you a week ago, “Nikki has been fucking Roxie since the Looks That Kill shoot, even Doc knows” you said softly. You felt Tommy slump against you as if he knew already.

“I thought so, he does it with every girl I come in contact with” Tommy said softly, “he can have her if he wants” the drummer sniffled softly as you kissed the top of his head.

“It’ll be okay Tommy, you’ll find someone. I know so, these are just bumps in the road” you said softly as you played with Tommys hair, the drummer snuggled into your neck as he let the previous events of today play out in his mind over and over.

[luckycaricature]

Chapter 2?? Of? Dammek and Jude’s shenanigans?

Idk?? I don’t even have a title for this mess???

BUT HERE WE GO, I GUESS

A twinge of restlessness was starting to settle back in, but then he heard a clamor from the next room. Pots and pans clanging, stomping, Jude grumbling to himself.

It was odd. Dammek hadn’t known the human long, but he never saw him lose his temper like that. Never really expected it. But he gazed around the room and he knew. Anybody would snap at having their hive trashed.

He let his head land back down with a thump. He wanted to cry. Jude was his only ally in all this mess, and was his only way of getting back to Xefros. And now he’d made him mad. Furious, even. The thought tied his stomach(troll word for stomach??) in knots.

Suddenly there was a loud bang and a scream from the next room that made Dammek jump. There was a bit of silence, then a low whining noise.

Dammek got to his feet and hurried over to the kitchen. He peered inside cautiously, and saw Jude on the floor. He looked like he’d fallen from someplace. Was he climbing the shelves?

He slowly walked over to him and looked down worriedly. He kneeled down next to him. “Are you able to move? Where does it hurt.”

Jude looked like he was going to start hyperventilating. “Just- Is Miss Roxy back?” Dammek shook his head, and Jude plopped his head down and tried not to cry.

“If Joey was here...” Jude wheezed a bit. Dammek tilted his head. “She has a med kit.” He started tearing up. “Usually I’m not even hurt bad, but... she makes me feel better.”

Dammek looked up. He’d remembered seeing a bag that was like his med kit in one of the rooms upstairs, but Jude had rushed him out of it before he could get a good look at it.

He raised up and looked down at Jude. “Don’t move - I’ll be right back.”

Not waiting for a response, he left the kitchen and hurried up the stairs. He jogged down the hall and into the girl’s bedroom.

He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t tempted to snoop around, since Jude never let him investigate the bedrooms. The urge for espionage is a strong one. But, this was, despite being literally the best time, also not even remotely the time, so he snatched up the bag and dug through it’s contents.

Looked like there were some essential items missing. Hopefully Jude wouldn’t be TOO bad off to need them.

He strapped it on his back and made his way back out of the room, down the hall, and down the stairs, straight back to the kitchen.

Jude did seem to look a little better. He breathing okay now, but he was still on the floor.

Dammek sat next to him and plopped the bag down from his shoulders. “How are you feeling?”

“Frustrated.” Jude huffed. “It’s not so bad now, but my back and left ankle still hurt.”

Dammek nodded and glanced about the boy a bit. “Understood.” He then carefully removed Jude’s shoe and sock. There were some purple splotches that were beginning to form about the sides.

The troll’s brow furrowed. “Looks like it could use some slime, but I didn’t see any in the bag.”

“Slime?” Jude looked at him skeptically. “Wait, bag-?” He wrenched his head around a bit, seeing Joey’s med kit just behind his head.

His attention snapped back to Dammek. “You went in Joey’s room?! Wait- Joey doesn’t have her med kit?! WAIT-” The troll quickly put a hand over the boy’s mouth.

“Shut up and hold still, I’m trying to patch you up. Besides, she can just have my med kit.” He removed his hand from the boy’s mouth. Honestly Dammek didn’t care much for personal property. He had some odd beliefs about possessions that usually got people mad at him, but whatever. Right off the top of his head, he couldn’t really think of anything that he’d be mad if the girl took, especially if she was going to be taking care of his friend and his lucus.

He started digging through the bag for supplies. He pulled out a roll of medical tape and examined it.

With a shrug, he started wrapping Jude’s ankle with it. He put a couple fingers under the cloth to test it, then turned to the boy. “Is it too tight?” Jude shook his head, so Dammek went ahead and tied it.

“You should really have slime under that to keep the swelling down, but...” Dammek shrugged.

“Oh- We usually make ice packs for that. There should be one in the freezer.” Jude pointed to the fridge, and Dammek nodded, making a mental note of it.

“Alright, but before that, let’s take a look at your back.” He helped the boy raise up, and once he was situated, Dammek raised up his shirt. He didn’t see anything, so he started gently pressing in a few places. “Does it hurt when I do this?”

“A little... It mostly just feels sore.” Jude felt a cold sweat coming on. He kind of couldn’t help but think about how he was being examined by an alien. He shuddered at the mental image of Dammek being one of those evil human-harvesting brain-eating aliens.

Jude was really glad he wasn’t.

“I don’t think this needs binding, but I really wish I had some sopor slime to put on it.” Dammek patted the boy’s back in a couple places before putting his shirt back down.

Jude rolled his eyes. “Again with the slime. Let me think, what would Joey put on it... A band-aid? Cream?” Now he was really wishing he had tried to learn more medical things, himself. Maybe in videogames there’s different people who specialize in different things, but in real life, everybody in a team should have the basics, at least.

Dammek hummed a bit as he dug through the bag. He found some tubes and looked at the label. It was in a language he’d never read before. But he could read it anyway.

“Anti-itch cream... Anti-fungal cream... I don’t know, none of these really make much sense for this.” He shook his head and put them back in the bag.

He looked over Jude, assessing the work. His expression soured when he noticed the blood stains on the boy’s shirt.

That’s right... in their fight, Dammek had... bit him.

HELP, HOW DO YOU MAKE THESE THINGS END

Not used to writing hkkkk

Or

Well, not used to actually posting any writing I guess, hahaha.

Also yo have you ever fell from high up before?? IT IS SCARY AS HELL. DON’T DO IT. PSA. Ashi out.

[makiitoh]

Why I Didn’t Like Kingsman: The Golden Circle

I genuinely didn’t think anyone would ask, but you guys did! So here I go (it’s very long). Please keep in mind, this is just my opinion. Also, there will be major spoilers under the cut.

@invernalias @axetoyourface @parks-andrekt

1. Gratuitous Gore 

What made the gore and R-rated content of the first Kingsman work in the film was the surprise of the shock value. That long fight scene in the church works because up until then, the villain Valentine doesn’t really register as a real threat, (the characters don’t take him seriously) and the movie reads as a fun and silly spy flick. 

The church fight scene and the subsequent death of Harry means that the characters and audience understand the lengths to which Valentine is willing to go, and hammers home the not-too-subtle point that “it’s not that kind of movie” (”that kind” being a James Bond film)

In The Golden Circle, the gory fight scenes are abundant--which would be fine, except for that they didn’t have a huge amount of bearing on the plot, or on characters. I felt like the movie was trying to shock me, again and again, with the gore, but in no way furthering the story or raising the stakes. The gore wasn’t just gratuitous, it was functionless, and meaningless. I should never feel bored during a fight scene, but there I was and here I am.

2. Insincerity

The biggest problem I had with the first movie was the undercutting of any emotion with a joke, often at the expense of the character or the audience and guess what! The sequel does this too, but even harder.

Multiple main characters are killed off and the audience can’t even really care about their deaths, because the movie makes a joke as they, or, immediately after they, die. Roxy and JB (Eggsy’s dog) are killed off, along with the entire rest of the Kingsman organization, and instead of allowing the characters and the audience to grieve, we get a joke about using alcohol to get through. (And I can not tell you how angry I am that they killed Roxy.) Merlin is killed and his death is undercut by him doing an admittedly wonderful cover of Country Road, complete with a full choir, played as a joke.

One of the very best parts of the first Kingsman is the father/son relationship between Eggsy and Harry. It’s the most sincere thing about the first movie and, I think, acts as the core of the film. The second one actively goes of its way to erase the importance of that relationship--there are a few great acting moments on Taron Egerton’s part that really show how much he misses, and cares for, Harry, who later has a line about how when he “died” in the last movie, he didn’t think of anyone. Harry says that as he died he didn’t have anyone to live for/miss, and I was just sitting there thinking, but what about the guy you just spent this entire movie basically adopting?

All sincerity is now conducted using a female character (Tilde, Ginger Ale, Roxy before her death) as an emotional support, instead of allowing any real emotional support between male characters (again, something that the first film did really well), and I think that’s a shame.

3. Even More Misogyny Than Last Time!

The Statesmen have a tracker that needs to be administered during sex, apparently. Like, I’m not sure what else to say about that? It only ever comes up once when Eggsy has to put a tracker on in a woman, and heteronormativity basically just carried the scene through. Do they track men the same way? Are all the Statesmen straight? None of this came up? Anyway the scene was Bad. 

Edit: oh fuck I’d wiped this from my memory but yeah there’s an entire shot of Eggsy fingering the woman who he’s placing a tracker in (ugh) and the camera goes like all the way inside her vagina it’s voyeuristic and beyond uncomfortable, like I felt diminished and offended just watching it, I felt gross 

As I mentioned earlier, Roxy was killed off, incredibly early on, and with no time to grieve. It felt pretty cheap, imho.

Ughh I don’t wanna keep talking about this. There was more, but I’m already angry, and I need a break.

4. Frustrating Plot

For almost the entirety of the movie, the audience knows more information than the characters do--which, again, would be fine, but they’re supposed to be spies. It’s so frustrating to sit helpless in the theatre, knowing the exact piece of information that the characters are missing, and have them drop the ball just for the sake of upholding a (pretty weak) plot.

The technology used by the heroes is inconsistent and wholly dependent on the needs of the plot--Some things they can hack, some they can’t. They can remotely hack high security doors, but not mines, etc. (Speaking of which, Eggsy somehow manages to stand on a mine while using a minesweeper. This man is a terrible spy) There was more stuff where the tech was very obviously beholden to the needs of the plot, but that’s the one that sticks out to me.

The characters see that there are two robot attack dogs, and fight off one. After beating the first dog, they both relax and begin to leave, forgetting about the second dog even though we know they saw it! I understand heat of the moment/adrenaline/etc. but they’re supposed to be spies! they would notice that shit! 

Also they know that every member of the Golden Circle organization has a Golden Circle tattoo. When they begin to suspect one of their own, nobody thinks to check him for the tattoo! At all!! It does turn out he doesn’t have one (though he betrays them anyway) but they still should have ben thorough. Them checking him for the tattoo and not finding one should have been the time when the audience really starts to believe that Harry is losing his instincts as a spy, making the later betrayal come as a shock. As it is, we already know and like Harry from spending time with him from the first movie (and because he’s Colin Firth) so of course we’re predisposed to trust him when he thinks someone will double cross them.

5. Misc.

Literally all I wanted out of this movie was cowboy Channing Tatum? This I Still Have Yet To Receive. He gets one fight scene and is then benched for the entire rest of the movie. Elton John (the best thing about this movie, by the way) gets more screen time than him. I feel betrayed. All I wanted was cowboy Tatum.

This movie is also pretty incredibly white (though Halle Berry does get a lot of screen time and is generally one of the better parts of the movie, she, like most of the other female characters, is mostly used as a sincerity dispenser, because I guess men just aren’t capable of feelings?) Don’t worry though, plenty of the villain’s disposable mooks are men of colour! Diversity, am I right? /sarcasm

I think I laughed at maybe two jokes in this movie? Most of the jokes were misogynistic tbh. Oh also there was a random cannibalism scene? It was played as a joke, It was weird.

//Maybe I’ll think of more to add to this later idk but hopefully I got my feelings across? At the very least I hope I convinced you not to spend your money seeing this movie.

tl;dr it was even more misogynistic, even more violent (but this time, there was no point/function to the violence, they killed off Roxy, JB, and Merlin (mostly for shock value) without letting the audience or characters grieve, the plot was weak, and the whole thing was incredibly, blatantly insincere.

[darkshadowbeauty]

My hopes for J and Deran this season.

For Deran:

I don’t want him and Adrian back together. Like no. Like they were cute in the beginning, but after all the crap Deran put him through… Adrian should be done…romantically anyway. Maybe a friendship in the end…but maybe not. Because like Deran purposely had a potential love interest of Adrian harmed because of jealousy and possession. That’s not right. I gotta give props to Adrian though, he stayed because he genuinely had feelings for Deran and vice versa. I just think Deran has sooooo much going on inside of him that he couldn’t give Adrian what he needed. I am glad that he saw that his sexuality wasn’t a big deal, thanks Craig! But he figured it out too late.

What I want for him is a love interest that won’t put up with his crap at all. Deran wants to raise fists? Like let’s say this guy’s name is Jagger (yeah I know…lol, don’t laugh at the name. If you combined them, you get the ship ‘Dagger’) would be prepared. Like I want someone who’s tough and gentle for him. I don’t want someone who puts up with him in all those ways. I mean seriously I know Adrian liked maybe in love Adrian, but that was a bit much to put up with. I mean if I were Adrian I would’ve kicked Deran to the curb after the ‘bathroom incident’. Like I would’ve been 100% done. You don’t hurt the ones you care about. I mean you can see the frustration in him in the Animals episode. Like it seemed like he was just going through the motions. I think he was done at that time. Actually no, he was finished after he found out about Dave. So I’m glad he dumped Deran, now I’ll only like them together if Deran gets his act together and Adrian continues to have that backbone that he lacked in the beginning.

But if that doesn’t happen, I want Jagger to come in. Like Jagger is a motorcycle guy, like he’s not all big and macho. He may be a little lanky or maybe the same build as Deran idk. But he’s still not one to be messed with. He’s…idk…like between 

Thomas Doherty, he’s such a babe 

or maybe Chandler Massey…those baby blues!!!! 

But someone who knows what they want and isn’t afraid to get it. Like I want Deran to be mesmerized by this guy. Someone who he knows is perfect for him…Like Deran will try to flirt with him and Jagger turns him down flat. Which would as we all know prompt Deran to want to know more. I mean who can let rejection go that easily especially if you’re a tough guy like Deran Cody lmao. But yeah someone who fits him and he can be himself fully with this person. He isn’t afraid anymore. And this guy won’t care about Smurf, he won’t be pushed around by anyone…mainly because his family is just as powerful as the Cody’s. Ooh that would make for an interest plot twist. A forbidden love between two guys and feuding families? I’m in!

Like for Jagger he has a sweet demeanor, but is a wild card too. Sneaky and rebellious and fun as well. Comes from a decent family, but he hates the boring life. He yearns to be free and build things. Yeah so maybe he’s an artist. Yeah an artist and is great at it too. Ooh maybe a photographer. Perfect. Always taking photos of Deran because he’s interesting and the perfect subject lol.

For J:

Okay man where do I start? Alright I was conflicted when it came to J. Like I liked him and Nicky. They were really cute together and would’ve been amazing together. But as we all know…that doesn’t happen. Okay so I felt bad for Nicky when J dumped. He was a bit mean, but I knew what he was doing. He was trying to protect her. But then again he was cheating on her with his teacher…so again conflicted. Now I know Nicky could’ve just left it alone but really your ex-boyfriend’s uncle? Grooooooooossssss. Like ewww why rebound with a guy looks like he could be her literal biological dad? Like seriously Ren and Craig could’ve been Nicky’s real mom and dad, she looks like the both of them… But anyway… I was conflicted. Like I’m like she’s lying. She wouldn’t stoop that lol. But judging by the season finale…it appears to be true. But you can see the hesitation between the two. Like I saw that look Nicky gave J. Like, “I still like him, but I’m sleeping with his uncle too.” I mean Idk. Who do you feel bad for in this situation? J because he gave up Nicky for her own good? While also kissing and sleeping with his teacher? And now he has to watch his ex with his uncle? Or Nicky because J dumped her while trying to protect her? And now she’s sleeping with his uncle? I don’t know. I guess it’s okay to feel bad for them in that moment. Like I feel for Nicky for getting cheated on and dumped. And I feel for J for dumping Nicky and now having to watch her with Craig, which I don’t support btw. Like really Craig? Your nephew’s ex? How could you?

But whatever. I want J to get a new girl. Like someone who knows the life of his family. Like she has a few skeletons in her closet too. And the actress I can see as ‘Roxanne’ is the one and only Gage Golightly.

I mean she was beautiful on Teen Wolf as Erica and had the potential to become more if she hadn’t left.  So yeah I choose her in my mind.

Plus she’s badass!!!! And can handle herself lmao. I know right, poor Stiles lol. 

Okay so background info on Roxy. She’s from a cop family, but she’s nothing like her father who’s a cop. Like she’s rebel. She’s gotten in trouble quite a lot to which her father helped bail her out. She’s gorgeous and dangerous too. Her last boyfriend cheated on her and she nearly cut his dick off, but luckily it was just a small incision haha. J sees and is instantly smitten. The beautiful blonde hair and the bad attitude is perfect for him. Plus, she’s smart as hell. So there’s a bonus and like Deran’s ‘Jagger’ she’s not afraid of much either.

Yeah that’s what I want for my boys this season. I know it’s highly unlikely, but makes for a good fanfic huh? Lol.

[whywhydoyouwantmetosaymyname]

Aphrodisiac

Characters: Cas x Reader, Sam and Dean breifly 

Word Count: 1373

Warnings: Fluff, Confused Cas, Saucy Language, Swearing, It’s a crack fic

Summary:  Cas is oblivious, so the reader turns to less than orthodox methods to get his attention.

A/N: *pushes glasses up nose* To the best of my scientific knowledge, this is not a thing, not really.  So maybe, just tell someone you like them.  Or, idk, maybe chocolate does work on most humans.  

Today was the day.  

You’d been lusting after Castiel forever with not even the slightest notion that he was aware.  Today was that day that changed.  You’d made a list, done your research.  All you needed was a false pretense to get him in the bunker, and another one to get the boys out of the bunker.

The second part was easy enough.  You’d always had a good eye for finding cases.  It wasn’t long before you had a case for them.  The only hang up was explaining why you would be hanging behind. 

 Luckily for you, neither Sam or Dean really understood the concept of what “Lady Problems” included.  They were all too happy to let you sit this one out after a little melodramatic overreacting.  

(“Are you okay,” Dean asked, watching you limp around the bunker like a sad penguin.

“Yeah, why?”  You said woefully.  

“You don’t look so great,” he said, taking in your baggy sweatpants.  

Cue the fake tears. Adios, boy!)

Of course, you weren’t on your period.  You’d planned that out, too.  You didn’t need any interruptions for what you had in store for Cas.

Once you got him there, alone with you, it was only a matter of time.  You’d seen the way the Angel looked at you when he thought you weren’t looking.  All he needed was a little encouragement.

It was the ‘Getting Cas to the Bunker’ part that was a little more difficult.  

You tried texting him:

You: Hey!

Cas: Hello

Y:  I’ve got the bunker all to myself.  Feeling a little lonely.

C: That is unfortunate.

Y: Maybe there’s something you could do to help me feel a little less lonely?

C: I had observed animal companionship to be very effective at warding off loneliness.  

You gave up on that approach.  

Next you tried calling, thinking that if he actually heard your voice, that he might be better convinced.  

He picked up on the first ring.

“Hello,” he said in that deep, rumbling voice that sent shivers through your body.

“Hey there,” you crooned in response.  “What are you up to?”  There was a pause on the line.

“I am currently ‘gassing up,’ as Dean would say.”  Over the line you could hear the distinctive noise of traffic in the background.

“If you’re in the neighborhood, you could always stop by,” you offered.

“I am not in the neighborhood,” Cas responded, sounding somewhat apologetic.

“Oh, well-,”

“I’m sorry, Y/N,” he interrupted.  “But, the phone is flashing.  I think the battery is depleted.  The call m-,”

Then the line went dead. Typical.

You were down to your last option, and you really, truly felt badly for this one.  

Cas, you prayed.  If you’ve got your ears on, and if you’re not across the country in the middle of urgent Angel business, could you come to the bunker?  The was this little fuzzy creature I found.  But I accidently fed it after midnight and now it’s gone into some kind of egg.  I could really use your help.

Two hours later there was a knock at the bunker door and Cas stepped inside.  

“Where is the egg,” he asked urgently.  You did, genuinely feel guilty.  It wasn’t your intent to deceive him.  Well, it was, but if there’d been an easier way, you would have done that.

“Oh, um, I got rid of it,” you lied.  “I found a lore book.  Apparently it was just expose it to sunlight.  Simple,” you laughed nervously.  Cas nodded.

“I see.  Then I should be going,” he said.

“You’ve driven all this way, you might as well hang out for a little bit,” you offered, with a smile.

“I suppose I could stay here for a little while in case you find another egg,” he said sternly.

“Yeah, sure,” you said with a forced smile.

Here was the part you were really proud of, and had actually put a lot of thought into.  There was obviously something between you two, you just needed to get the blood pumping for the chemistry between you two to kick in.

Attempt 1: Get the blood pumping

“Say, Cas, I was going to go out for a run,” you said doing a yoga stretch that showed off your body in your tight athletic clothes.  It was almost offensive how gentlemanly Cas was, never catching a glance at your ass once. “Want to come with me?”

“I have no need for running,” he said casually.  “I will ‘hold down the fort’ until you return.”  

You puffed.

“I’ll just go later.”

Attempt 2: It’s an aphrodisiac; I’m not drugging him.  I’m not that crazy.

“I was going to make some salmon,” you said casually.  “Are you hungry?”  

Cas squinted and cocked his head to the side.  “I don’t eat.”  His brow furrowed as he thought harder about your erratic behavior.  “You know I don’t eat.”

Attempt 3:  Shit, maybe I’m that crazy…

“How about some chocolate then,” you said, almost desperately.  “Everyone likes chocolate.”  This wasn’t supposed to be the hard part of the plan!  He was supposed to come over and almost immediately bone you!  What was happening!

“Y/N,” Cas interjected. His eyes narrowed and his lips were open.  You could almost see him trying to make the connections between your actions.  “Why are you acting strangely?”

“I’m not-,” you started to say.  Cas stepped closer to you.

“You lied to get me here, and since then you’ve been trying to feed me foods and engage in activities that would increase our heart rates and lead to an increased production of serotonin and dopamine.”  You panicked. “This is unusual for you.”

“I just thought you might like it?”  Damn! You hadn’t meant for that to come out as a question.

“You know I have no need for food or exercise,” he said, stepping closer again.  “So what is your motive.  Tell me the truth.”

“I – I’ve seen the way you look at me.  I thought maybe I could convince you to, you know, make a move?”  There was that question again!  Damn it!

“So, you saw my interest in you and instead of discussing it with me, you attempted to elicit my true desires through less conventional means?”  His eyes were cool, icy orbs, searing into you.  You felt the rush of want flood through your body.  “I can see your heart rate is certainly increased right now.”

“Yeah,” you rasped, your brain sparking at Cas’s closeness.  You couldn’t think straight with his broad chest almost pressed against yours.  You were already pressed against the kitchen island; you couldn’t back up anymore.

“Did it ever occur to you that I might be unsure of your attraction?”  He asked.  You blinked. Honestly, it hadn’t.  You’d thought your crush was so self-evident, you’d never even considered that Cas didn’t know how you felt.

“Well, no,” you said. Cas moved closer and suddenly his chest was pressed against yours.  

“And you failed to think that perhaps I had intended to woo you in my own way and in my own time?” His breath puffed across your face, hot and fragrant.

“No,” you said breathlessly.

“Because it is something I have given a great deal of thought to,” his hands were on your hips and you could hardly breathe.  “Y/N, I would like for you to be my partner.”  

You could only nod in response.  Cas smiled and dipped his head to kiss you, the gentle touch sending fireworks exploding behind your eyes.  He pulled way, that same stern look, slipping over his features again.

“There is still the matter of you lying to me,” Cas said, raising an eyebrow.  He cast you a predatory smile.  “I’m afraid you will have to be punished for that transgression. Though, I am certain you will enjoy it.”

You shivered and he bent down to capture your lips in a passionate kiss.  

The door the garage sung open and a sodden Sam and Dean stalked into the kitchen, pointing an accusing finger your way.

“We need to discuss how you choose cases,” Dean accused, looking furious.

It looked like all your plans had gone to shit.  But with Cas’s solid chest pressed against yours, you couldn’t bring yourself to care about the consequences.

Forever Tags: @thereaderoffanfics, @notnaturalanahi, @thegreatficmaster, @feelmyroarrrr, @nicmob, @arryn-nyx, @the-fandom-took-over-my-life, @jessiedangerous, @smoothdogsgirl, @panther-and-peacock, @savage-pineapples, @asifbyblackmagic, @mu-alpha, @catackles16, @legitgirl15 @the-winchester-pack, @docharleythegeekqueen, @captainjmarvel, @freaksforthewin @ millaraysuyai @anokhi07 @mrsbatesmotel53 @adaliamalfoy  @brooke-supernatural16 @demonic-meatball  @amyapathetic@just-a-touch-of-crowley@fabulouslyboredeveryday

Pond Tags (Cas, Fluff): @manawhaat @thing-you-do-with-that-thing @bkwrm523 @whispersandwhiskerburn @roxy-davenport @impala-dreamer @deathtonormalcy56 @samsgoddess @wildfirewinchester @for-the-love-of-dean @cici0507 @fiveleaf @deansleather @mrswhozeewhatsis @kayteonline @idreamofhazel @ilovedean-spn2 @jpadjackles @babypieandwhiskey @wi-deangirl77 @deantbh @sinceriouslyamellpadalecki @deanwinchesterforpromqueen @chaos-and-the-calm67 @memariana91 @teamfreewill-imagine @chelsea-winchester @fandommaniacx @writingbeautifulmen @revwinchester @oldfashioncdvillain @your-average-distracted-waffle @drarina1737 @lucibae-is-dancing-in-hell @castieltrash1 @supernaturalyobessed @mysaintsasinner @ohwritever @ruined-by-destiel @winchester-writes @deals-with-demons @maraisabellegrey @faith-in-dean    

[notnaturalanahi]

Unexpected Love Encounter

Pairing/Characters: Dean x Reader

Word count: 992

Warnings: Idk, language? Fluff 

A/N: I’m here to present you with some some Dean fluff while I attempt to write some filtly smut (Sam x Reader x Benny... Senny? x Reader). I remember  someone whispering that to me when I signed up for this one challenge @impala-dreamer do you remember?

[Feedback is love!!] 

Unexpected Love Encounter

You watch him open the refrigerator door for the third time in ten minutes and sigh. "Haven't you figured out that there's no food in there yet?" You say with an ironic tone without taking your eyes from the laptop screen.

"There's not even beer" Dean walks over to the kitchen table, stomping his barefeet of the marble floor.

"I told you guys we needed to get groceries yesterday!"You sass looking up so you can stare at him.

"Itoldyouguysweneededtogetgroceriesyesterday" Dean repeats on a high pitch voice mocking you.

With a roll of your eyes you close the laptop. "Gimme your keys I need to take a break anyway, I'll go to the grocery store" You extended your hand.

"No way in hell Y/N! The last time you took my baby you scratched her!" He folds his big arms into his broad chest.

"I told you it wasn't my fault; the parking space was too tight because of the asshole that parked next to me! And that was like forever ago, you need let it go, Elsa!"

“It was four days ago.” Dean glares.

“Oh my god! You’re so obsessed with your car you keep count?” You finish with a little laugh, and he gives you a stern look.

"Ok, then come with me, you drive. Hm?"

"Umm Ok, let me get my shoes."

"Awesomeeee!”

On your way to town, you turn on the radio and sang along with some tunes, Dean smiles at the fact that you cannot sing but you do it anyhow. When you park on the store lot you slide the sunshade down to look yourself in the little mirror, taking and eyeliner and a matte lipstick to retouch your makeup from your little purse.

"Really, you’re putting on makeup, now?" Dean whines and keep the door open but doesn’t get out of the car just yet.

"What? You never know when you are gonna bump into the arms of a hot guy and end up in an unexpected love encounter .” You wink at him, “you're so lucky you don't need makeup, you’re gorgeous!" and stretch your hand to pinch his cheek.

He waves your hand off. "You don't need makeup either, you know?”

You stare at him for a moment too long. "Pff yeah right!"

"Seriously!” Dean says as you both climb out of the car and slams his hand on baby’s roof, not to hard, but enough to let you wonder, ‘what the hell?”

"Um.. Yeah.. Right" You say again, sarcastically.

In the store you grab a basket and start walking up and down the aisles, taking almost everything you need. "OK, I'm going this way” You point over your shoulder with your thumb. “We can meet up the register line"

"What? Why? I have nothing to do, I'll go with you."

“Sure?” You sigh "Look, I have to pick up tampons"

"Oooh, and you don't want me to... see them?" Dean shrugs.

"I actually don't really mind, I-I thought maybe, I don’t know... you may get uncomfortable. You know, like most guys?"

"Nah, most guys are morons anyway. So, let's go" He nudges you with his shoulder making you stumble a bit.

"Umm what are these?" You look at him just as you find your brand, Dean’s holding a bag of maxi pads. While trying to control your laugh you explain him what they are, and then answer some other question he had about feminine products.

You reach the register and place the items for the clerk to scan them, the cashier guy starts flirting a bit with you, making you blush. Dean glowers at him.

“Um.. Its $67.31” The guy says a bit timid.

“Pay up!" You instruct Dean.

“What?”

“Yeas...Slide your credit card through that thingy so we can take the stuff home and stuff our faces” you say slowly making a hand movement so he can understand.

Dean takes his wallet out of his back pocket and hands in the card eyeing you suspiciously. "What happened to your card?”

"What card?"

"The one I help you pay last month?"

"Ooh you mean that card…” You chuckle and roll your eyes. “I over charged it" you confess almost whispering.

"Already Y/N seriously!?" You don't say anything and then walked out of the store.

You’re avoiding eye contact at all cost, knowing he’s gonna lecture you the moment his green perfect eyes meet yours. A you place the bags on the trunk you share the smallest glance and that’s it.

"What do you always do that?" He asks, and doesn’t sound mad at all.

"Do what?"

"Buy stuff you don't really need and end up borrowing money from me or Sam?"

"But I-I need those clothes and makeup and shoes... To-to look pretty" you say biting the inside of your cheek looking down at your new black oxfords, embarrassed because they costed a fortune.

"You are pretty" You frown at his words.

"No I'm not. Not naturally at least" You shrug.

"Damn it Y/N!!" Dean raises his voice and you can feel the anger in it. He walks towards you pinning you against the back door.

You look at his arms at both sides of your head and then up at him with a questioning look.. "You are pretty, you are beautiful!! I never met anyone more beautiful than you…” He admits with a sigh “Your face, your hair, your body, your personality… your brains… All of you. You are perfect, Y/N! Why can’t you see that?"  

Your eyes widen, dumbfounded, mouth agape, and before you can even think of an answer he ducks his face down and press his lips to yours, It’s a hard, desperate and passionate kiss, and without knowing it you’re kissing him back.

You finally let go, and part the kiss but not before your lungs burn for air.  

“You are the most beautiful person I ever met Y/N. I love you.”

Forevs: @nadiandreu7 @captain-princess-rose @loveitsallineed @whywhydoyouwantmetosaymyname @deathtonormalcy56 @death2thevirgin @mogaruke @isis278 @marygracewinchester @lbug1025 @babypieandwhiskey @impala-dreamer @authoressskr @fangirl1802 @ria132love 

Dean/Jensen: @anokhi07 @leather-moccasin-hero @hunterintraining1967 

Pond (Dean-Fluff): @aprofoundbondwithdean @manawhaat   @thing-you-do-with-that-thing @nichelle-my-belle @leatherwhiskeycoffeeplaid  @bkwrm523 @salvachester @whispersandwhiskerburn @lipstickandwhiskey @roxy-davenport @samsgoddess @wildfirewinchester @frenchybell  @for-the-love-of-dean @mysupernaturalfics @spn-fan-girl-173 @deandoesthingstome @cici0507 @fiveleaf @deansleather @curliesallovertheplace @waywardjoy @mrswhozeewhatsis  @imadeangirl-butimsamcurious @kayteonline @supernatural-jackles  @wevegotworktodo @ilovedean-spn2 @jpadjackles @quiddy-writes @wi-deangirl77 @deantbh @supermoonpanda  @sinceriouslyamellpadalecki @deanwinchesterforpromqueen @chaos-and-the-calm67 @memariana91 @plaidstiel-wormstache @teamfreewill-imagine @chelsea-winchester @fandommaniacx @writingbeautifulmen  @lucibae-is-dancing-in-hell @castieltrash1 @supernaturalyobessed @mysaintsasinner @ohwritever @ruined-by-destiel @inmysparetime0 @winchester-writes @deals-with-demons @maraisabellegrey @faith-in-dean If you don’t want me to tag you anymore just say the word

[survivorelara]

Episode #7: “Bon Appetite Bitch” - Dani

Merge time baby, this is where the game starts. My first job is to figure out who flipped in that last tribal, I'm betting on Loris, but if it's John I'd probably understand as well. Regardless it's disappointing because as far as "OG Tribe Lines" it's now 5v5v2, which sucks.

I think I've likely got an ok position at the moment, the real move is trying to make sure I've got an in with a lot of people, and to make sure I find myself in the majority.

Here's hoping my first tribal council doesn't turn out to be my last due to social misplays.

We merged woo, my streak of never dying premerge continues :D. However, it does feel like an early merge. There's still 12 people left, I have a strong feeling someone ain't gonna make the jury... 👀

I just noticed im the only Aquarius left woot woot. Game wise, hello, it's merge. I'm finally messaging  people, introducing myself and what not. I'll check in later to list all of the people that don't like me, but for now let's go into this hoping that I'm charismatic

Ok sooooo...... tribal did NOT go as planned but it still was good because I could’ve gone easily but drew t saved my ass because I saved his last week. we love good karma. Roxy literally forgived me without asking her to and we have merged so I don’t feel that at risk anymore. :) I just gotta keep talking to everyone so my name doesn’t get raised.

oh lord. You know idk what I’m gonna do yet Because I don’t want to work with pre friends but i don’t necessarily like my tribe either So that leaves me with loris Idk I’ll figure it out

For now, I'll do a hot or not and comments Roxy- NOT. I have to talk to her almost continuously or else she'll think we aren't allies and vote me out. (not that we are allies rn but still) Ci'ere- DECENT. He's nice but replies are sporadic and idk if he wants to work with me. Loris- HOT AS FUCK. my #1 right now, he's p cool <3 John - STEAMING? He is so nice and so cute but he seems close to purple drew. Purple Drew - LUKE WARM. Love the dude, but I am semi trying to avoid pre game friendships. Little Mix Drew- STRAIGHT FIRE. only bc of LM. in reality, more SEMI WARM. it may turn out that each side has a little mix supporter? Drachus - WHO TF KNOWS. I cannot tell if this man is playing me or not. He tells me he can't vote him out, but is that true? We havent been to tribal and he seems to be lying to me about how much he knows. If he really doesnt know all that... he seems like someone I can maybe work with. We've been loyal to the end for each other before. Just keep in mind- I'm not playing for 8th. Emma- queen? She's inactive but a great number for me. We tell each other stuff and she's just precious. Kori- challenge threat, and someone who I want to be my shield. Dani- shes so inactive bruh like what even Dylan- also inactive.

so its 5 revati, 4 auva, 3 zosma. Zosma and Auva have 2 a piece of people who I loved pregame and would consider working with. So who knows? I have a double majority, so lets not be surprised when I'm first out.

Well, I THINK I'm in an ok-ish spot. I've talked with a LOT of people, IDEALLY the next one gone is Sam just so that I can get Dani more on my side and make it clear that I wanna work with her.

I'm a little salty Altager didn't beat the basic tribe name of Orion... but I'll get over it... eventually...

In other news, I ate a burger today... it was adequate.

MERGE BABIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! I'm elated to make the merge AND get to name the tribe! Like that's fucking sickening! I'm excited to see what the merge holds for me because that was a rocky pre-merge phase. Like obviously I wasted my idol, blah blah. And like I was an emotional mess like the entire way through. It sucks being the one that has to blindside people and like break hearts- but in the end, that's the way it is. I just love that I'm getting to play IN THE MERGE. Like I rarely ever do that because I am too much of a physical threat (in most ORGs) to be allowed into the merge. So I'm super glad that I get to play in the merge and I just have to put myself in a mindset where I can be carefree and not let the stress of the pre-merge weigh me down!

Well, The challenge went pretty well I think, not sure if I won or not though, we'll see.

I'm getting frustrated with Ci'ere though. Everytime we talk they take hours to respond, even when they initiate the conversation, and I respond within 4 minutes. My patience is definitely getting tested.

Well, I didn't win the challenge, I was closeish, got all the right constellations. I just kinda, didn't math correctly in calculating my Tiebreaker number... not sure what I even did to reach that number anymore.

Regardless, I just gotta keep the target off of me, get a feel for what others are thinking, and go from there. Ideally Sam or Ci'ere since Dylan who I'm still not a fan of won.

Ci'ere has been making a bit more effort with me, which has me a bit suspicious, so Sam is ideal just to make it clear to Dani that I DO wanna work with her.

What do people do when they merge? Like this concept is so foreign to me that this laziness is actually nice. Its peaceful and serene. Like my god. If this is the case, why the fuck do I not try to make the merge more often? Honestly, this revelation is so beautiful, I may ugly cry just thinking about it!

ok no offense but the conflict between dani and ci'ere seems literally so beyond fake i can't even comprehend it. maybe im wrong but like it feels so planned, like dan's funeral or smth.

also ci'ere just like formally asked to work with me which was really sweet so hi. they also spilled some tea about roxy/drew/drew2.0 and how theyve been working together without me so. yoinks. glad i won immunity because i wouldve been so lost

Man i'm finna make that bitch dani leave, im working my ass off to save ciere and get her outta here since she's HELLBENT on getting us out. No no, you don't do that. Hope you enjoy merge boot and hopefully just missing out on jury :)

So yeah, the main name floating around has been ci'ere. But the thing is, I've been talking with people and dani seems disposable to a lot of people. So i'm tryna convince the people i'm close with to vote her out instead of ci'ere. Because here's the thing, if dani survives until next vote and ci'ere leaves, she's going to be after me. What i'm saying to my crew is that if ci'ere survives, he'll be with us while dani isn't close with like anyone, she just talks to throw names out cuz she sucks at this game. so like, if people really want ci'ere out, it'd be so much easier to simply blindside him next vote if we wanted, because he'd feel so safe. Esp since im 95% sure one of those 2 have an idol, so i'm gonna try my best to either flush it from ci'ere, or blindside the fuck outta dani sending her home packing with it

suprise bitches after a boring pre merge i am actually playing the game i just need to see which side everyone is on i may use my idol to have my side be on control i could probably be first merge boot before i play yikes! also me and loris are powerful... he has the legacy advantage his mind omg

I hate this cast. Yell at me for a short confessional if ya gotta.

Deadass probably setting myself up for failure this vote with going after dani so hard but fuck it idc, didn't have a chance to get rid of her after louise had left and she told toby to get the fuck outta here, and now I do and she's going and hopefully joins him in the vl :) toby this one's for you homie, miss ya lots <3

W e l l, things have went left here at the Orion camp 😄 I woke up to Andrea & Loris letting me know that Auva 2.0 was after me & that I should play an idol if I had one. Apparently the Auvacados are getting bad vibes from me? However, Dani was the one that made a move against y’all so why am I getting getting ya knickers in a bunch? I previously started laying down the groundwork to have people turn on Miss Dani, but I decided to toss that plan out the window. Last night, Loris told me that John Coffey was the Revati that flipped last round and it’s because he’s friends with Drew H. I’m certain that the Drews, Roxy, & John have an alliance that finalized right before the merge. So that needs to be broken up right away. I went to Dylan, an OG Auva, to let him know that his old tribemates said he was on the outs and they made an alliance with Louise, Dani, & I. He seems to be interested in voting with me, and if he isn’t, then he’s a flop.

Sam called me “babe” earlier & I really cannot with this flirting strategy, but I’m not opposed to it! I guess I would consider him my final 2, but I’d say he’s playing well so I might need to cut him before that hehe.

I don’t like this back and forth running around nonsense, so I’m laying it all out on the table. I exposed the Auvacado 2.0 alliance. I hinted that I have an idol that I really don’t want to use, but I probably will just in case they think I’m bluffing & people don’t target me in the future for it. Apparently this caused people to start scrambling which I’ll have you know is my favorite type of egg. Deviled eggs are good af too 😈

Sam says that we shouldn’t go for Roxy because he has an in with Drew T. & that we should keep Dani the target because she threw out our name. Dani says that John & Kori threw out my name to her. Do I believe her? Not exactly. In the tribe chat when I asked Dani to vote for Roxy, she says that she likes her & would rather do someone else. This is a mess. So right now it’s looking like myself, Sam, Andrea, Loris, Emma, Dylan & Drew T.?

Why is everyone always going after me what the shit. Its drew t and h fault im like their fuckin scategost I jk I love them but im so annoyed why is the fall out if the shit theyfor do, gets blamed on ne when I havent dine anything loll fuck off

I love u drews tho

I knew going into the merge that I wanted Ciere out sooner rather than later; and when an alliance with Dani and kori was formed I thought I’d be able to get him out right away. Dylan won immunity which is awesome because he’s easily my favorite right now. Idk what it is about him but we just vibe really well right now. I’m not sure where I stand with old revati other than kori who asked me to be his final 2 the other day. I’m a wannabe puppet master and nobody was taking my bait to vote ciere. Well it seemed like they were until little rat decides to announce that I had an alliance with the Drew’s and Roxy. I went telling everyone the chat is barely even active and we voted together once. As of now the majority is seeming to want Dani and Kori isn’t answering aoooo idk who I’m voting for I kinda still want to do ciere cause I swore to Dani I wouldn’t vote for her, but I also don’t like her attitude all that much tonight. Same old Dani from unifinished business, but I actually was going to have her back. I’m a mess!!!!!!!!111

WELL BITCH I MIGHT BE GOING. These motherfuckers REALLY want me gone huh? WELL IM NOT GOING OUT WITHOUT A FIGHT. Roxy will rue this day. ROXY WILL RUE IT. She just fucked over her whole damn alliance.

Dani is voted out 9-2-1.

[birriabirria]

(human!karkat, troll!dirk and what-if idea) karkat isn’t much of a fighter for dirk’s liking so he sends him a sparring robot and while karkat *gets* that dirk is trying to make him stronger, he’d rather prefer it if he didn’t nag him about it every time he does anything and much to dirk’s frustration, karkat manages to rope brobot into playing (and maybe even acting out) scenes from his romance movies dirk: are you seriously going to make out with my robot karkat, snapping out of his daydream: wha karkat: NO. I WASN’T GONNA MAKE OUT WITH YOUR ROBOT dirk: but you want to. all you want right now is to kiss my robot karkat: NO, I DON’T dirk: you do, want to plant one right there on its kisser dirk: maybe i’ll give it one so it can kiss back karkat: WHY ARE YOU SAYING THAT??? karkat: I THOUGHT YOU THINK THAT IT’S WEIRD dirk: i do think it’s weird that’s why i’m saying it dirk: and i’m going to keep saying it because i know you like hearing it karkat: UGH!!! karkat: [stomps away]

later: dirk, internally: wait dirk: don’t kiss my robot, that’s not what it’s for dirk: but i get it though. it is pretty cute karkat: yeah, it is cute dirk: glad you agree karkat: but you aren’t dirk: dirk: do you know that it looks like me karkat: IS IT? I DIDN’T NOTICE karkat: AND LET’S FACE IT, IT LOOKS LIKE YOU BECAUSE YOU’RE A VAIN DOUCHE dirk: vain, someone’s throwing out the fancy words karkat: oh sorry, do you want to have a robot that looks like me instead? dirk: i might. i might even might sew some clothes for it and kiss it karkat: hilarious later: dirk: wait brobot gets banged up and karkat worriedly contacts dirk and asks him to send more parts to fix him and dirk says that he doesn’t need that, he can just send karkat another robot and karkat refuses because if he wanted another robot, he’d ask for one!! he likes *this* robot and he wants to keep this robot so can he just have some fucking parts to fix him?! dirk doesn’t budge so karkat yells for auto responder

REGULUSRAIN said: Hal helps Karkat because 1) Hal likes Brobot. Splinter solidarity!! And 2) Hal likes Karkat, (because) Karkat cares about Brobot. Easy, right and maybe because karkat talks to him too? REGULUSRAIN said: Yeah! He would! “you made a PERSON and then used him as an auto responder?? What’s wrong with you Dirk???” as soon as he discovers that Hal is a person he (like Roxy) begins to talk to him karkat preferring to talk to hal than dirk… ohohohoho REGULUSRAIN said: In your face Dirk!! Hal would boast so much! Also.. Dirk raised on Alternia, a very brutal society… Would maybe basically be Bro? oh, that’s so sad REGULUSRAIN said: It… Is. But also, if they had similar guardians, maybe Roxy’s ancestor *saw* that and made sure that Dirk and Roxy grew up away from troll society and schoolfeeding so they won’t end up ruthless like that?? hm… there’s also the question is they’re as solitary like canon too? REGULUSRAIN said: Well it is a big part of their character I think so. Maybe? Maybe hmmm alpha Dave and Rose made sure that their descendants were solitary because Alpha Rose foresaw that troll society would be maybe bad for them? So they were placed in hmmm dangerous places? Kinda? Like not dangerous but surrounded by danger, like beasts? So they can’t go to society until they’re strong enough to beat the beasts which is a good motivation to be stronger! REGULUSRAIN said: Like… Thinking about it, I feel like the trolls were a bit isolated from society? Karkat was obviously isolated, Nepeta lived in the woods, Sollux was a shut in haha Aradia was more interested in ruins… Idk I feel like the reason most of the twelve weren’t bloodthirsty like Alternia seems to come from some isolation from society? maybe this can be a troll & human society? REGULUSRAIN said: Hmmm why not? In this case, Dirk and Roxy would live in human society, which suits a bit the “isolated” part you’re making very good points and i can’t answer hahahaha and with the troll & human society thing then maybe karkat is one of the humans that dirk talks to? REGULUSRAIN said: Yeah! Like… Trolls and humans live together but there are still troll zones and human zones. Dirk and Roxy are very far into an human zone where people aren’t used to see trolls so they’re isolated, while Karkat lives somewhere truly mixed and thus is used to trolls (and maybe he has a moirail ??) while Dirk kind of knows more about humans than trolls given the place he lives in. So talking with Karkat is interesting because he is a human who grew up with trolls around they’re penpals… that would be so cute REGULUSRAIN said: Nice :3c REGULUSRAIN said: Omg consider… Karkat knowing more about quadrants than Dirk hahaha oooooh, yes! karkat has taken it upon himself to know about romance so he learns about troll romance too! REGULUSRAIN said: It would be interesting if human Karkat was very good at putting his feelings onto quadrants (unlike troll Karkat who is bad at that!!) while he’s bad at human romance because why would things be easy for him? hahahaha REGULUSRAIN said: Yeah! :D