Y’all can’t even fathom how many times a week I fantasize about ramming my car into a brick building and ending it all
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the first time i heard SIXFT, the lyrics weren’t on spotify yet and i heard the lyric as ‘fuck the rabbit, fall down’ and i loved the alice in wonderland reference so much I sometimes sing the wrong lyric for funsies
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Eddie post a Tiktok of an old home video. In the video, he’s twenty-one, messy haired, laying on his side in bed facing the camera, and he looks like shit. His eyes are glassy, his nose is rubbed red, and his voice is thick the way it always is when he’s sick.
“This is a message for future Eddie,” Eddie tells the camera. “If you decide to spend the rest of your life with a man that spends all his free time babysitting - and I know you, you do want to spend your life with him - get used to catching every virus in town.”
In the video, Steve pops up behind Eddie and wraps himself around him, looking just as sick. His eyes never open as he cuddles closer, resting his head in the curve of Eddie’s neck and his hand on his chest over his heart. Steve sounds like he’s already falling back to sleep when he asks, “Who’re you talking to?”
Eddie looks into the camera like, “Myself.”
“Say hi for me.”
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This is easily the most inconvenient moment possible for Eddie to have a hard-on and yet, here he is, standing in the remains of what used to be the Hawkins Public Library with his dick hard as a rock in his pants.
Eddie had heard tell of a nailbat, rumors of Steve Harrington’s weapon of choice in dealing with matters related to the Upside Down, but it had seemed mythical to him. The way the boys talked about Steve wielding it made him sound like a hero from some ancient mythology.
“You should have seen him, Eddie,” Dustin would grip Eddie’s arm with a grasp that hurt as he regaled Eddie with the tale of Steve in the Junkyard Fighting the Demodogs once more. “He was such a badass, like, so insanely cool!”
Eddie is deeply glad that he was not present at that battle, but there is a part of him that wishes he could have seen it. That he could have seen Steve wield the suburban equivalent of a mace while trying to defend his brood of strange children.
Not that Eddie would ever admit that, of course. He and Steve are tentative friends, and Eddie is not going to risk what progress he and Steve have made in maintaining a civil relationship just because he thinks the guy is hot. Of course he thinks Steve is hot, so does every other breathing human in Hawkins, Indiana.
So, yeah, Eddie is keeping that piece of information to himself. Taking it to his grave. Besides, they’re in the middle of an apocalypse and now is hardly the time for getting horny over Steve Harrington proving competence with a blunt instrument.
But apparently Eddie’s dick never got that memo. Because he’s standing here watching Steve knock those goddamn fucking demobats out of the spore infested Hawkins sky with his infamous bat, dripping with blood and snarling at the monsters. He swings with a terrifying rage in his eyes, laser focused on removing each and every single bat from the sky with a sort of feral grace that shouldn’t be possible.
Eddie watches, pants uncomfortably tight, as Steve makes one final swing at the last bat standing (flying?) with a flourish of his wrist, giving the nailbat a little twirl before using it to strike the last creature down.
Steve Harrington is absolutely unreal.
He turns around to face Eddie and Eddie is reminded that, oh yeah, they’re in the middle of a massive battle right now and he had maybe let himself get a little distracted and wow, the blood dripping through Steve’s chest hair as he tosses the nailbat onto his shoulder with practiceed ease is really doing it for Eddie, which would be fine (well, not fine, but at least somewhat manageable) if it were literally any other moment in time.
“Are you okay?” Steve asks Eddie, voice hoarse and raspy in a way that really shouldn’t be sexy because it’s probably caused by Steve breathing spores and demobat guts or something else equally horrifying, but it is hot and there is something deeply wrong with Eddie.
And maybe there is some single solitary shred of mercy left remaining in the universe, because Steve is seemingly too focused on the war waging around them to clock the bulge in Eddie’s pants.
“Yup!” Eddie nods, feeling like a bobble head in his enthusiasm. “Great! Feeling great! Never better!”
Steve gives him an odd look, considering, but seems to accept Eddie’s assertion that he’s unharmed. He probably just attributes the strange behavior to Eddie’s general weirdness, which is perfectly fine with Eddie.
“Good,” Steve’s eyes drift to the steadily growing dark cloud that obscures much of the red sky. “Let’s get moving then.”
He stomps past Eddie, clapping him on the shoulder as he passes. Eddie closes his eyes and scrapes the corners of his mind for the least sexy thoughts he can summon to will his boner away.
“You coming?” Steve calls back from a few yards behind Eddie.
“Right behind you, big boy,” Eddie says. He takes a deep breath in and out before turning to follow Steve back into the fray.
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what if you were competing in alien stage and you suddenly needed to piss so bad. like you’d be like shit if i die what if i pee all over the stage when i get shot. or if i win would they take me to the bathroom if i asked. and you’d have to sing the entire time needing to go run to the nearest restroom. would the aliens even care
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Something I realized a while ago that I’ve wondered if other fans of black butler could connect with is a potential reason why I became so horribly obsessed with the series.
I’ve heard the term ‘trauma bonding’ get thrown around in fandom spaces before, but in my case, what I’ve come to suspect about myself for why I got so obsessed with black butler is because it quite literally traumatized me.
I know I’m not alone in that a lot of fans of this series got into it when they were fairly young. I’d read all the way through the manga multiple times by the time I was fourteen.
And I just remember there being one day where I think the night before I had read though Ciel’s backstory, mind you for probably the third time. And I just remember something about that finial read through where it just hit me.
I genuinely think that reading black butler, specifically through Ciel’s backstory, was the first time that a piece of media actually upset me. Like it made something click in my brain where I suddenly felt disturbed by what I was seeing.
I have this memory of little fourteen year old me just looking out my window and crying at the memory of those panels where Ciel was being abused. And honestly now adays, I skip over edits that show those panels. I even don’t like to watch movie scenes that show children getting hurt.
I feel like other fandoms talk about things like this especial now where we realize just how many younger kids were exposed to disturbing content, whether it was the story itself or fan content. (I immediately think of the mlp fandom. I went to brony con when I was 12, I would know.) But not so much for things like Kuro.
It may not be the worst thing to have a piece of media give you a sense of self-awareness. Lord know some ppl never develop one. But I’m curious to see if anyone else in the Kuro fandom has had a similar experience?
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