#maybe I should have added a third option: “I do not care but I did see this poll”

[turtleations]

How shall I post my current project?

I am currently translating the book "Owaranai Kizuna" by Inoue "kuma" Hideki. The first part can be found here.

Not counting fore- and afterwords, the book has five main parts, which are all divided into several short short sub-chapters. The first part, for example, has six of those. Their length varies, but can in general be compared to the length of bit already posted.

Would you like me to post each of the main parts in one longer entry, meaning very long waits while I work on them, or would you prefer if I made individual posts for all sub-chapters, which means faster updates but a lot less content at once?

[da-rum-darim-da]

soulmates.

it's angsty, bruh. <I was just reading solo for two and couldn't help it. T-T> And do let me know if I should extend it or add another part to it.

Gojo's version.

The sun shining down so innocently bright that day, the brids chirping as if they were singing me tales of two lovers as they perched on my balcony, the sunny side up that perfectly slid down the pan onto the toast... everything was a stark difference of things would usually go. And perhaps that sense of ominous dread that pooled in due to the events was not just a weird feeling that you should've shrugged off, it was a foreboding that the author of your life was hinting at.

The flowers. The Madonna Lilies bloomed at the windowsill, in the pot that you brought on a whim when you walked past the nursery during your last mission. How unusual, the gardener said it'd probably take it weeks to bloom, so how come the flower bloomed on the third day after it's purchase?

'Look 'Toru! It's the colour of your hair!' You haD sent the text with a smile on your lips. To which your boyfriend had replied, 'Do you miss me so much that you're seeing me in anything that's white, babe?' The reply had you laughing even when the shop-keeper looked upon you as if you were some crazy girl. You didn't care, you loved him, and he did too... maybe.

The air around the school was tense as it had been since the past few days since what Geto-senpai had did. Though it was baffling, you were not entirely privy to the fact that he was at his lowest before all this and perhaps because of you, he couldn't have his best friend with him to notice or support and comfort him out of it all.

'Say kouhai, do love him or do you like him?' Geto asked. You should have read into the tone of his voice, the inneundo behind the softer baritone came with a raw emotion and not out of casualness. But you were too busy, watching 'Toru-senpai get bombarded with teasing remarks by Shoko-senpai and Haibara-kun. So you replied, with your eyes fixed on your lover, 'I... Love him.' In the gaze he returned, there was something you couldn't comprehend. It was already a big deal for you that Toru-senpai accepted your confession, and the brief hesitation he had was the first droplet of insecurity in you, though at that time it wasn't dictated towards Geto-senpai.

Because of the heavy mission yesterday, you were given an off today. But the perfect events of the morning made you feel jittery, so you let yourself go with the flow and decided to get your mind off things and chose to get something for sweet for Toru instead, from Momofuku. After struggling a lot between the delicious and wide range of options you gave up and brought both the matcha and red bean filled mochis. And later returned to your dorm. A quick nap followed soon after because of the painkillers.

'You should walk faster, little legs.' He'd joked but you only huffed about it and he, seeing that expression on you somehow caved in. Ruffling your hair he chuckled, 'Suguru's just as fast as me you know, hence I couldn't adjust to your pace. I'll try hence, hm?' You smiled back. Another drop of insecurity added to my already overflowing heart, at the unusual acceptance and the very casual comparison.

The evening had arrived and 'Toru too had come. But how you found that was not something that you'd ever liked. His cursed energy was all over the place. You dashed to his dorm, the mochis long forgotten in the frigde, the nipped flower still in the glass of water on the bedside table.

"Toru! Satoru! GOJO SATORU!" Your voice didn't reach his ears as he harshly threw things in his room and banged his fists on the wall, all in blind rage.

A single name flying past his lips, in a cruel way that held his unanswered questions, his anguish, his hurt. The tone of his vouice was too foreign, too much. Though you knew that behind the mask of the childish likeness and pretense casualness that was off only during serious missions was a just a boy, you didn't want your boyfriend to be like this, never, even if it was inevitable considering his habit of keeping things such as emotions to himself.

You reached out to touch him. but he harshly flicked away your hand, "Go away, unless you're Suguru!"

You weren't Suguru, but you couldn't leave him after seeing him like this. You tried again, and that had your insecurities confirmed.

"Get off me! You are not Suguru and you'd never be! Do you even realise, what I have lost today? I LOST MY FRIEND, THE ONLY ONE I HAD! A FRIEND, NO A SOULMATE!" With a frown and red rimmed eyes, which once held something towards you now look at you with anger and frustration, holding you searching gaze.

The admittance probably had relieved him a little, so his voice came out a lot softer than before, "Just go away. I don't want to see anyone. Especially not you."

What had he meant by the especially not you? Was the question you had an inkling of an answer to you as you made your way away from him, back into your dorm.

The hesitation. The casual comparison. The lax behaviour, without actual love. The affection that was the same to everyone. You realised, it was only you in the relationship. And how could he even bring himself to love you when he was already madly, wholly and completely in love with another, a man at that. A man you could never be even if you tried, that friend, the Geto Suguru. There was only one of him, and he'd held the heart of the man you loved.

And perhaps, in every universe, every parallel multiverse, every life, every reincarnation, in every era... There was a Geto Suguru made for Gojo Satoru, and a Gojo Satoru for Geto Suguru. No one else can ever be there. No one else. You were the other woman, in a relationship of two pure, star-crossed lovers. You were the villainin their love story.

I'm sorry if the ending felt rushed, the actual outline was something else and I couldn't connect them two, but later on I will definitely try to make that version. T-T

[nokingsonlyfooles]

“It’s my hope, Mr. President, that you listen to us, that you choose democracy over tyranny.” - Abdullah Hammoud, Dearborn Mayor and Voter

YES! I can't fuckin' believe the media accurately reported this as a protest and printed/publicized the words of the voters explaining why they did it. AND NOBODY HAD TO ATTEMPT SUICIDE! This is big and it could get even bigger! But it's a qualified bigness, because...

Walz, a major supporter of Biden’s reelection campaign, said Michigan’s “uncommitted” results were a healthy demonstration of democracy. “I think they feel passionate, as they should, about an issue we all care about,” Walz said, adding that he expected most protest voters would eventually return to Biden’s side in a likely November rematch with former President Donald Trump, who himself has struggled with college-educated voters and suburbanites in his ongoing Republican primary against former U.N. Ambassador Nikki Haley. “I’m much more convinced there’s a chance bringing those folks home is much greater than bringing the ‘Never Trump’ folks back home,” Walz said.

Yeah. I know this song and dance. I've seen it happen in person, at protests, in reatime. They come out to "do voter outreach" and they're all smiles to start. "Yes! Please do continue to act upon your freedom of speech in a way I, an advocate for the status quo, find nonthreatening. Your feelings are valid, ha-ha! I expect nothing to change, and indeed I will act to change nothing, but good for you!" A few folks always believe the message has been received and quiet down, that's why they do it. But wait and see what happens to that smile when a few people start interrupting and yelling, "THAT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH!"

At least this guy's willing to suggest Biden would pick up more votes by moving left than moving right, although I doubt he actually expects anything radical. A few more forgiven student loans or somewhat cheaper drugs aren't much of a problem, and that's leftist too! So we don't really have to worry about the ongoing genocide.

The thing is, if/when this picks up momentum and the DNC starts to think they might have to change something or lose, it will become something other than a positive demonstration of free speech. It'll be childish tantrum-throwing, pointless, uncivil, attention-whoring, astroturfed, counterproductive foreign interference, and whatever else sounds bad. If any of you out there in internet-land already feel threatened by it, you're probably saying that right now. (Go ahead and comment, you'll boost this with other people who think like you, and I might change some minds.)

And, if you are comfortable with it and want voters to do it instead of threatening to withhold votes from Biden in the general, check your privilege. Not every state offers this. Unless something changes real fast (at least, I THINK it hasn't changed, it's hard to do a search when "uncommitted" brings up SO MANY news articles about Michigan 😁), mine won't. I can't do this. I can't vote in a third party primary either. It'd be all blue or nothing. And neither of those things will get me any press, so I gotta keep talking. Maybe I'll motivate someone who can vote uncommitted! Or scare a politician! I still think I'm doing more good by staying alive, and I'm a bit distant from any property I might meaningfully damage (although I am open to suggestions that won't get me arrested and silenced), so this is the only thing I got that won't injure a human being.

Tumblr, no matter how you actually intend to vote, if you're not up for living in a two-party system where both parties think they can do a little genocide and stay in power, you have ways of making yourself heard. There are options beyond falling in line behind the lesser evil. Don't let anyone tell you there aren't. And when you start hearing "stop!" or "you can't!" that means you have something they want. A cessation of hostilities! Well, now you might be in a position to negotiate terms! Don't give up!

Please, please, please don't give up. There is so much to be done.

[halfling-myth-lady]

Welp, I went ahead and made a second chapter of my miraculous rewrite lol.

It doesn’t focus on Juleka, but it does give us some of another plot line in this au.Aka the Nathaniel Marc and Alix plot line.and a bit of Alya too lol

——

Chapter two:spying on a manipulator.

Warning:the story is told in achronological order.technically at the time THIS ficlet would be released it would be around early season 3.

Note:things are really different from canon.i just wanted to say that and also note that my Marc uses they/them.

Nathaniel looked down into the courtyard,being greeted by the faces of many whom he didn’t bother remembering, even if he still did recognize a select few. There was that girl from art class, one of the theatre kids, that boy who cried when Adrien politely declined his date… and them.

Hidden under the stairs was someone called Marc. Nathaniel didn’t know their surname, but he did finally manage to catch a peek at the bluenette after searching for a while.

They seemed to be writing something in a black notebook, occasionally using their bright green eyes to scan in case someone was looking.

Nathaniel weighed his options.

He could either confront Marc now, follow them somewhere else and confront them there, or they could stall for time and learn more about them before confronting them. The third option would probably lead into one of the first two eventually, though.

The first was more direct and would ensure that they couldn’t do anything to him, but then they could still run into the crowd.

The second one was…stalking, sure, but if Nathaniel could just slip that ring off them…

Along with that, he bet no one outside of his class or immediate family really cared or remembered about his existence(and even that was up for debate) so he doubted Marc did.

Well, stalking it is then.

“Uh…Nate?why are you staring at the stairs?”Nathaniel shot up to see the of none other than Alya Cesaire, the local detective of the class.

“Ah-uh-Alya-!I uh…”

She looked in the direction Nathaniel was staring at a while ago.

“Are you…spying on Marc?”Alya questioned.

“Oh-well, erm, maybe?”Nathaniel was never really in the best standing with Alya, the whole “having a crush on her best friend” and “no, you may not interview me for your investigations I literally just got out of being in a crusty old man’s control” things never really seemed to stand well with her.

She sighed.

“What do you know about them?”she asked.

“Erm, I know their name..?”

The detective rolled her eyes.

“I’m surprised you don’t know much about them, considering they’re Marinette’s cousin and all.” Alya said”though you tend to be a bit of a loner so it doesn’t surprise me you don’t know much about this kind of stuff”

“And you do?”

“It’s my thing, Nathaniel”

“Anyways, they’ve also never been akumatized, which is quite a feat considering the schools track record with akumas”she added”they tend to keep to themselves a lot, so maybe that’s why”

So they’re a loner…huh…

“You should try talking to them, might help you make some friends”Alya said”maybe even take your attention away from Marinette and onto another red wearing bluenette, other than maybe Ladybug, too”

Nathaniel blushed.

“Sh-shut up and go away, I don’t need you help”

“Even if I did give you vital info?”she pried.

“Just leave”

“Hm, as you say, your majesty”

She finally went away as Nathaniel glanced at the manipulator once again.

He might not know much about this person, but what happened yesterday… Nathaniel wanted to-no, Nathaniel was going to learn exactly what happened.

…even if it meant stalking someone.

[perfectlovevn]

Perfect Love VN Devlog #8

I gotta say, I'm really proud of my UI right now because it looks very good, though it bothers me that the Endings buttons have a weird hover state. But when I said that I didn't like the Renpy UI apparently I made it my own personal issue and decided to destroy it and remake it. All the Milos on the GUI screens also change depending on route because I can't not make it difficult on myself. I was thinking of making the head UI have a different character for the left side (based on any references, else it would just have Eris's sprite) but I'm not sure if the creators would like that and it would have been a LOT of creators I would have to contact and ask about and it would be even more work for me, so I will decide against it for now. Maybe in the future I'll add it back in. The space under options is also bothering me so I might add a button for extras later on when I get the chance. But as you can see, pretty much everything is animated to a certain degree (even the buttons and whatnot are customized for each ending, sound and visual wise) because I take great care in making things look unique (and dying I guess).

SFX and music are really killing me right now because unlike stuff with UI, art and coding, I'm not nearly as versed in deciding those things which is very ironic because it's probably actually one of the more technically easier things for me- since all I'm doing is rummaging through Creative Commons and other free music/sfx stuff to find things to add and not making it myself. I think I might be too picky. I've started adding animal noises to mark each version of Milo (PreMilo is rabbit sounds, Violence is dog sounds and Manipulation is cat sounds) though it's hard to do them without it sounding too strange or out of place. Rabbit/Bunny sounds especially are kind of hard to find, though I did find a handful of them. I'm really glad in the past I was really obsessed with finding free sounds like this because it's really helping me as of now. Still I don't know what's too much sfx and what's too much music and that's what's really getting me a bit confused on what to do.

Still I underestimated how long it will take me to find/assign the right sfx and music, though I will say it will take me about half-two thirds of the time I did sprites though. After that I should be going to do the Perfect Ending, Main Menu (since you can see there's no pupils or anything), a starting warning screen and POSSIBLY extras since I figured out how to make an extra gallery by looking through through another visual novel's code. Oh, and a custom mouse because I realized I forgot about that.

I'll probably get some people to test it for me when I'm done with the Main Menu and SFX.

[connorboyyy]

With this being my third ask (am the one who recently sent about 'slow and steady' and the generations ask lol), I might need to soon give myself a little moniker to myself so I don't have to keep saying 'Oh, I'm the anon who sent X' lol

I'm just a bit curious, but is there anything in particular you'd change about the DBH storyline, characterization, worldbuilding, or smth like that? I'd personally probably change some plot twists or points or completely remove them, but idk tbh lol. One thing I'm almost 100% certain I'd change is the thing with Alice being an android and/or bringing back her concept design. Maybe the timeline, too, because the main game (post-Hostage chapter) takes place within a week, which... feels a LITTLE fast for a revolution and relationship development lol

I really like this game, probably top 3 or at least 5, but yh, just curious :)

(Also, I think I've started to ship Hankcon, and it's a bit off-putting how quickly my brain did that lmao)

You should! You should get yourself a little identifier! Maybe a fun little emoji or sign off/greeting 👀

Oh love this question—listen, I love this game. I think there are a lot of good qualities, but I can also recognize it’s totally imperfect. In MANY ways

First off, I completely agree about the Alice thing. I feel like it was something added just for the sake of being a plot twist and really weakened their story. Not to mention the plot holes it generates that are technically able to be explained, but you have to stretch the narrative to make it do so (for example: how Todd could afford two androids, was Alice deviant or was she just programmed to be more emotionally available to fulfill human’s emotional expectations of a child, etc, etc). It also took away a lot of cool opportunities with Alice and Kara. If Kara had to actually be responsible for finding Alice food on a regular basis or finding her clean clothes or places to bathe. It would’ve been interesting to see how much more Kara would’ve had to venture into public spaces to fulfill Alice’s needs and there could have been a sort of peaceful vs violent route for Kara—whether she chose to tread carefully to get Alice what she needed, or demand it/take it by any means necessary. Not to mention how heartwarming a narrative of a human girl and her android mother would have been—getting to grow older under her care.

Also what you mentioned about the timeline—I agree. It was too short. I think a lot about the depth of relationships the characters could’ve had if they had spent more time. Hell, even just one month as opposed to a week. It really cheapens the effectiveness of any romantic relationship in Markus’ route especially cause it just feels unbelievable.

I also really wish that Connor had deviated because of Hank. Which I admit, is maybe a little corny and definitely a tired old complaint LMFAO And I get why Markus was the one who pushed him there, because he actually pushed him, whereas Hank sort of just watched in awe from the sidelines as he saw signs of humanity in him. (But to be fair, Kara and Markus both deviated without a push from an encouraging individual too, the circumstance just demanded it). But if maybe the story had a longer timeline, maybe they could’ve reached a point where Hank had encouraged it. Or sort of an Alice and Kara deal where Connor deviated for the sake of protecting Hank in some scenario. Maybe if Connor was supposed to report back to Cyberlife to be decommissioned due to how long it was taking him, but Connor knew Hank would be vulnerable to some instance—something like that.

And don’t even get me started on the way the revolution is handled/public opinion or Markus’ limited romantic options. But I’ll stop there cause this response is already crazy long LMFAOAO

(Welcome to the club. It’s a great ship, they have great chemistry, it’s easy to love ❤️)

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 2/21/2023

despite two sections clocking in at one sentence each, i had a lot of thoughts about a video game so this one is the normal creeping-up-on-2k-words length

listening

brian david gilbert's rgss must be presented without comment.

-

reading

earlier last year a regional gas station chain offered a whopping twenty five cents off per gallon. many terms and conditions applied. the one that made me scoff and delete the app right there at the pump was that location data had to be on at all times. not just when you were using the app or in a geofenced area around the gas stations, all the time. i hate people knowing where i am. i despise my data being sold. do not advertise to me. fuck off.

last year this made me briefly wonder about the loyalty programs i have with the regional supermarket chains, big y and stop & shop. i don't even want to think about whatever instacart was collecting on me much earlier in the pandemic. unfortunately i can choose not to drive as much but i really should not eat less and i do love a loss leader sale. and then i had to move again and forgot about it. earlier this week my favorite data scientists at The Markup dropped a...upsetting article on kroger's data practices, which can include in-store tracking, biometrics, facial recognition, and when shopping on kroger.com: "Third-party trackers send your product page views, search terms, and items that you have added to your shopping cart to Meta, Google, Bing, Pinterest, and Snapchat." did you know they have their own spinoff data company? for why, you might ask?

Experts told The Markup that companies that sell products in grocery stores don’t have much visibility into what happens after their items are placed on shelves. These brands want granular shopping data that only supermarkets have in order to gauge the success of the brands’ products. In recent years, this data has become harder to come by and therefore more valuable. 

i try very hard not to be be doom and gloom about tech bc reporting already tends toward the hysteric, and usually there is stuff i can do or a different option i can take to avoid a package of my data being sold and linked to other packages of my data. however, it is unrealistic to leave my phone at home and pay with cash, and financially i can't afford to opt out of these loyalty programs. sucks! sucks real bad! The Markup articles are pretty good at making the american senate take notice, but they are very slow and do not always fully understand tech abuses, bc their average age is sixty fuckin three.

-

watching

im ticking along in adventure time, in the middle of season six, the last real long season before we get down to twenty and fourteen episode seasons. there has been an amusing string of episodes where finn and jake aren't present or are only present briefly. this show will wander off to tell the most heartrending story about a character you will never see again, and this episode will stick with you for ten years.

ive also been looking at the fandom (i know) wiki page for each episode, bc why not, and it is a very funny fan wiki. a great deal of emphasis on animation errors with the caveats that maybe the miscolored arm of a princess in episode whatever actually means there's two princesses of that kingdom and we're only seeing the second one for the first time now. whenever the show references a classic work, the note in the wiki has the tone of "ugh this weird old thing why is my show making a joke about it". if an episode won an emmy (this show won fifteen emmys btw) it is usually the very last thing on the page bc that's not lore or errors or connections to other episodes why should you care??? either a very specific type of guy or a bunch of young teens wrote this. probably a bunch of young teens that grew up to be a very specific type of guy.

-

playing

thank u for all ur open world rpg recs, i think horizon zero dawn is the closest thing to what i want but i will probably end up playing Prey first (which has exactly one of the many qualities i want and is not open world even a little bit) bc it is a game i actually own. but im here to say i know im having a depressive episode when im listening to a lot of mother mother and playing f/allout 4. anyway we're back at it again in far harbor, which at least contains the most interesting storytelling in the game. can we all say hello to andre, bethesda's eleventh first gay character?

coming up on this drive-in theater with an incongruous neon heart looming out of the mist and spooky music plus screams from the horror movie trailer that's been playing on loop since the bombs dropped is SO fun. nothing on the mainland is quite this atmospheric. the fog really does heighten the fun of exploration. i know dead money did it first and better but this is less dire than dead money. usually.

also i forgot they're showing a western staring Legally Not Lee van Cleef if u switch the reels. this is not even getting into the delightful enemy encounter at this location bc i have a different location i want to talk about

GOD the MS Azalea (the one screenshot that isn't mine and is from the wiki) is so fun to run around. a rusted out, ripped in half cargo ship with five different sections (guardpost, top of ship, shipping container apartments on top of ship, inner sheltered harbor within ship and floating kitchen/pool table parlor, floating bar and clinic lashed to ship entered by swimming or elevator down from the top of the ship, sheltered harbor between two halves of the broken ship. each of these sections uses vertical space in interesting ways bc the ship is so fucking big. there is a straight up House underneath that boat. and everything feels very lived in, there's clutter and signs of life everywhere. these guys are just vibing with their little stores and their little apartments. a smarter game or a game with more time would have leaned into "you were sent to kill these guys by the townsfolk bc they felt threatened by an unaffiliated settlement" but alas. the trappers on the boat are just xp.

it is very funny that the lighthouse on the south end of the island refuses to load in properly, no matter where i am

this dlc, more than anything else in the game, actually does feel like my choices matter. i do the missions for the mariner and the barricade physically changes. i do enough fairly complex quest chains for enough of the town and they decide they like me enough to go build settlements. seeing the settlement fog condensers off in the distance from across the island feels very different from the mainland, where generally your settlement's buildings don't pop in until you're pretty fucking close.

i really don't care about how big the map is, i want the main game to be this dense and this bold in telling a stories, start to finish, that feel very interconnected and grounded to its location. i am feeling a little conflicted with my playtime, bc i gotta lotta fucking bones to pick with this game, but i am having fun with this dlc. part of it is "what if fallout/the rest of the game was good" and part of it is the depression making any scrap of delight feel weird. so it goes. february will end eventually.

-

making

did my taxes.

[caithyra]

Horse Ranch Quick Impression

As a simmer and former horse-obsessed girl, I guess I should talk a bit about it.

First, when I heard that they would do a “Horse Ranch” expansion pack, I first thought “welp, that should be a game pack” and secondly that the theme would either be boring American world again (wild west) and reuse plants and other things from Oasis Springs (base game) and possibly even Strangerville (the game pack) or Australian outback (marginally more interesting), since we haven’t any Australian world yet and those two are the only two possible themes with “ranch” in the title. I put my money on the boring option, since it would allow them to reuse assets even though it is an expansion pack (and they did, several of the plants are very familiar in the trailer). Aaand I was right.

Second, I like Native American rep, but I do not believe for a second EAxis cares about any minority rep, given that we have Louisiana and Arizona and American suburbs in the base game with no NA rep, not even added in an SDX patch.

Third, the side-braid is just an updated version of the Get Together side-braid. It will be interesting if they begin updating old EPs’ hairs after the base game and it ends up looking near identical...

Fourth, goats and sheep should have been in Cottage Living (as should horses, unicorns and fairies).

Fifth, even when trained to an expert level of riding, the sim in the trailer refuses to hold the reins properly (reins should be between thumb and index finger, and between ring finger and little finger, not like a toddler holding sporks and banging the ends against a table).

Sixth, nectar making to lure those with TS3:World Adventures nostalgia, instead of, y’know, putting it in My Wedding Stories where it would make sense (on the other hand, maybe EAxis is making fun of the high alcoholic rates among Native Americans? Yes, I am reaching, but they put a bisexual woman leaving a man at the altar for another woman in MWS! I no longer give them the benefit of the doubt, and even if the connection never occurred to them, it is awfully strange to put the alcoholic game mechanic in the same pack as their first NA rep in TS4 when they had many, many other packs and base game to introduce both in separately. It’s awful optics, in any case).

Seventh, no mechanical bull to ride. No rocking horse to be seen to be used by children/toddlers. Lets hope that they’re holding back unicorns as surprise, hm? But how they’re going to get unicorns to fit into this world rather than the lush greenery of Cottage Living will be interesting...

Well, that’s my immediate negative reactions out of the way.

Here’s the thing, this is a game pack with a few extras added (nectar making, goats, sheep) that should have been in other packs, and those extras are not enough to tip it over into an expansion (that’s supposed to affect everyone’s gameplay in all/most worlds in some way). If it was a game pack, it would be a nice game pack from what the trailer has shown us with a few out-of-the-left-field elements thrown in (nectar making).

Like, lets say that you only get the Base Game and Horse Ranch, but you don’t want to have horses in a dusty old wild west, but in the lush greenery of Willow Creek.

Sage Estates are pretty much the only lots that are large enough to accommodate a stable, paddock and house without being cramped. Sage Estates is also a TINY neighborhood. Like, imagine trying to ride around there? Yeah.

They should fix it by making larger parts of the neighborhoods playable and routed (Foundry Cove in Willow Creek, for example, has that whole street beyond the main road that’s out-of-bounds) through an update, but given how they haven’t been able to update for swimable waters where there should be swimable waters (Granite Falls, Forgotten Hollow etc.) it might be impossible to update the neighborhoods at all (possibly because it would break existing saves/not apply to saves).

Eh, I’ve collected all the packs of The Sims since TS1 (including all the Worlds from TS3′s store), and I have collected the whole of TS4 up to now (including Grim’s guitar), so I’ll probably buy it, but this reinforces my decision not to get The Sims 5 at all, never mind any DLC. They’ve just completely destroyed any good will that the previous three iterations built up with me, and that was A LOT of good will.

I’ll just mod TS4 extensively once the updates are done and I wont have to worry about mods breaking and destroying my saves (I’m still modding it now, just more conservatively with a few mods that either leave no trace if removed, or that are regularly updated after every patch).

[kyrodo]

If you took basic psychology maybe you'd stop taking actions against people that you've understood on a 90% off fucking discount. You don't have a fucking excuse. Last I recall when R block evaded me likely using his ad, I didn't break into his house. All sorts of stupid shit happens when people get heartbroken and you haven't given people time to recover. You could have fucking waited. Stalking the same way we started our parasocial interaction, communicating the same way we were already communicating, block evading, name changing, emotional posts in places only you would check, looking him up on telegram. Invasive, ridiculously emotional, but par for the fucking course. I'm sorry, what about my actions doesn't make any fucking sense to you asshole? You know I've never looked at a wounded animal and wondered why the fuck they're crying. Cringing in pain or doing whatever it takes to cope with those emotions. The expressions of emotions I made were colorful and loud, but I didn't do a single thing to you bitch. If only you gave people more than a week to fuck off, or better yet actually wanted them to in the first place before hitting them with a fucking ruler.

How many times do you need me to remind you that your actions are purely aggressive, not reactive. You deliberately sought my attention looking for me to respond to something the moment this should have been fucking over. The moment I was finally about to get out of your hair but the iron was still hot. When a part of me would still be searching for hope false or not. And you made a fucking decision. Decisions like yours come with a fucking price tag.

Had I been dealing with anyone else in your position I was still well within my lane in the grand scheme of things that happened and what I felt. Too bad you're not most people. Only you would choose the third option not a week in after I said this was over. Not many people would hack someone they haven't even tried to talk to. That's all you. This is your answer to every conflict and every dispute that you don't actually give a fuck about ending peacefully.

I don't understand how you fucking live doing shit like that to people. Not because they deserve it but because you want whatever shitty feeling of superiority over people you don't like. I am a near endless source of words when I'm mad, some of which can be exploited by those who want cheap forms of revenge against. But your actions speak louder than my words EVER will.

How can I be so loud, so noisy, but the special bitch of the moment turns out to be you. How does that make any fucking sense? You would have been better off letting me rant and rant till my keyboard broke, poke fun at it with all your friends, block me everywhere, recover, move on talk about me in whatever demeaning way you pleased, and I would have remained the villain here whether you did me justice or not. "Oh look at this asshole who was stalking me on Twitter." You had that advantage and you threw it away. You don't understand how little you had to do to be the hero or the victim at the end of the day. But you don't know when to fucking stop.

Sometimes the best thing you can do about something is nothing at all. Maybe you should try it sometime. This wouldn't be the same tragedy if you weren't a fucking prick.

And think about things from my position for once. Whatever feeling, whatever I'm hoping for. The things I'd be self conscious about and trying to find clues on what's being discussed about me before you start instigating a fucking "zoom meeting" with me. If you had even the slightest sense of emotional intelligence, I'd have so much less to be mad about right now. Just because you like horror doesn't mean you can't be a decent fucking human being. The way I see it didn't take a whole lot of guess work to actually figure me out, you just didn't fucking care.

Even though I used to scatter information about myself to the four winds, you had more than enough immediately visible information not be a fucking bitch.

[theliterarygnat]

Reading Summary: 29. April, 2024 (The Hunger of the Gods, Chapters 29-40)

CHAPTER 29 | VARG That is one hella harrowing scene at the slave market. Genuinely makes me sick to my stomach. Gwynne did well capturing the horror of such a place.

pg. 273 A couple of things bother me. Firstly, the fact that Varg wasn't the one to kill Brimil. Second, Varg has already killed multiple people of equal horribleness to Brimil, if not less. While it's understandable that he'd be horrified about the death of the druzhina, he hasn't shown the biggest remorse for the dragonborn nor the temple guards he might have attacked despite being more directly responsible for their deaths, and despite the fact he had less reasons to hate them. The fact that we have a question of Varg feeling guilty about the death of a slaver and the slaver's guard, especially a slaver as disgusting as Brimil, is… definitely a choice, and a horrible one.

Third, the prose is just weird. "He wasn't sure how he felt: Guilty? That he was responsible for these people's deaths. Angry, that Brimil had not died by his hand?" The guilt-and-anger sentences should have at the very least matched in formatting, not to mention 'that he was responsible for these people's deaths' does not really fit grammatically in this context. A better edited version would be "He wasn't sure how he felt: Guilty that he was responsible for these people's death? Angry that Brimil had not died by his hand?" Although am partial to a complete rewrite of this passage (and elimination of guilt, considering who has been killed). If Varg should feel guilty about anyone here dying, it'd be the bartender, but I'm not sure the bartender is dead? At the very least unconscious with a fucked up head injury. But guilt? After how Varg had killed before this (and didn't care), how horrible these slavers and slavers' guards are? No. I don't buy it.

That's not to say Gwynne shouldn't have Varg feel guilty about the deaths he may have caused in general, or that Varg cannot be conflicted about what the Bloodsworn do for a living. But in this specific instance, it does not feel right nor natural. It's such a strange time for Varg's guilt to flare up.

If Gwynne really needed to bring up guilt in this scene (which he really does not; Varg's murders could have been explored through other victims of his) he should have added a thrall to it. Option one, the most basic, is to have Brimil parade himself around with a thrall near him, underlining and emphasizing his sleaziness and bastardry; and have Varg accidentally kill the thrall or necessitate the killing of the thrall because of him losing control of his wolfishness.

Option two, one that I favor a little bit, is if the female guard behind Brimil had been an Úlfhéðnar thrall that looked a little like Varg's sister. Maybe Brimil would have ordered her to protect him and kill Varg and Svik and Røkia, leading to Varg personally (or Røkia still) having to kill his sister's lookalike to be able to ask their questions. Seeing as Varg is already somewhat haunted by his sister, this Úldhéðnar guard could have become the visual representation of Varg's sister, or there could be scenes in the future of one fading into the other, of Varg feeling so guilty about her death that she'd start haunting him as her own character. After all, Varg's loss of control would have been the reason she had died with a slave-collar around her neck. Like Frøya.

This whole scene should have been a powerful cathartic moment of Varg finally hunting down and killing one of the people in his revenge quest, brought down into horror of having killed someone innocent. From an emotional high to an emotional low, a memorable and meaningful rollercoaster that would solidify the impact of the scene due to the contrast of moods. But no. Varg's just maybe guilty about killing a slaver that repeatedly beat and raped his sister. Such emotional depth. Much wow. Very #complex.

pg. 275 Another misnaming/misspelling; Jökel instead of Jökul. Also I remembered reading Brák's name in the character-list in the beginning, so I went back and noticed another inconsistency; Státa the stoat and Státa the Stoat. The capital Stoat seems to be the error here, as all other gods have uncapitalized animal titles (like Gröfu the badger, Fjalla the mountain goat, etc.) Originally I had thought this book to be a little unpolished, but the more errors I find the more it seems like this book was simply not ready to be published. There were not enough editors brought on this project, not enough rounds of edits were done, and there had been not enough thought put into some of the concepts implemented into this book. The Hunger of the Gods is not a finished product.

CHAPTER 30 | BIÓRR Biórr's characterization is getting old. Give him some defining traits beyond Agnar and Elvar, I beg of you. These two cunts don't really deserve that kind of affection or impact on Biórr. It weakens what little characterization he did have beforehand (hates slavery). It's not really adding depth when there is nothing else to this man. And it detracts from what I expect to be his arrc of turning on the Raven-Feeders because of the enslaved and entranced children. Biórr should not care for any of the Battle-Grim (especially not Agnar and Elvar) and he should be focusing more on Ilska's child-slaves. If his morals are so weak that he loves slavers so much, then his future indignation and anger at Ilska and LIk-Rifa and the enslavement of children is not going to be that strong. It'll be undermined by his constant whining about Agnar and Elvar and his betrayal. Biórr would have been much better of a character if he didn't really care that much about the Battle-Grim and threw himself whole-heartedly back into the Raven-Feeders, only to think they have fallen to lows equal to the Battle-Grim with the child slaves. Why is that not the focus?

pg. 281 Here Biórr claims to have spent a year among the untouched, but pg. 53 says that Biórr left the Raven-Feeders close to three years ago with the task of infiltrating the Battle-Grim. So how long was he gone then?

The point Gwynne is making with Biórr and his thoughts here is also extremely heavy-handed while also undermined that Biórr is into slavers. His affection for Elvar and Agnar truly does this character a disservice. I will also reiterate that Lik-Rifa's depiction and characterization is boring and cookie-cutter, she doesn't feel intimidating, has no charisma or presence on the page. While nuance and complexity is important, the characters and elements that need that nuance simply don't have it, and the things that do are mishandled. Biórr does not need to regret or feel guilty about his act of betrayal to be a nuanced and strong character, but Gwynne tries to do that anyway and fails at making it meaningful. In part because Elvar herself is such a weak and shallow character.

pg. 283 I do noooot like Ilmur beign referred to as 'the Hundur'. Firstly, it feels too close to Elvar's constant usage of 'the Hundur-thrall', dehumanising and objectifying. It's not necessarily wrong to identify the Tainted by their parents, because I find no fault in people being identified as 'dragonborn' or 'berserkir', but Gwynne should have come up with his own names for the descendants of other gods. He has enough access and knowledge of Norse and Proto-Germanic to use that as his magic-speech, so he should have taken the time to come up with more world-specific terms. A descendant of Hundur the hound could have followed in Úlfhéðnars' footsteps and be called 'Húndhéðnar', or maybe 'Hundgerar' (inspired by Garmr and the proposed etymology of his name), or 'werehound' (like werewolf), 'maðihundar' (since 'Maður-boy' means 'human-boy', apparently (so this would be 'human-hound')), or maybe 'Hundhadda' which means 'hound-haired' (from 'hadda', a name element found in Blóðughadda, 'bloody-haired'). My favorite option is 'Gerghest', based on barghest and translating roughly to 'growling guest'. Regardless of how shitty my propositions are, my point stands: for a more unique, consistent setting, and stronger world-building, I think Gwynne should have come up with the name for all Tainted descendant groups beyond berserkir and úlfhéðnar.

pg. 285 The squandered potential of this book hurts. It feels like an author's first foray into epic fantasy, and they're trying to make it nuanced and complex without knowing how nuance and complexity work. Gwynne is also dissonantly heavy-handed with many other elements. It ultimately ends up feeling more shallow than it would have been otherwise. Nuance is paid lip-service to but not actually exercised.

CHAPTER 31 | ORKA pg. 289 The scene where Lif manages to land a hit on Revna is so cute ToT I really liked that.

CHAPTER 32 | VARG Einar my beloved and his new gaggle of kids. Precious murder baby.

A little note on Svik's tale and the formatting of dialogue therein. It would have been much easier and orderly if all in-tale dialogue was between single quote-marks ('Help me,' said Einar the troll), as opposed to this book's standard double quote-marks. The combination of double and single quote-marks in the story isn't really necessary and looks quite weird, frankly.

Love the story though. It does genuinely feel like a true and proper fairy-tale that fits in this world, and I love the little interjections with the children and Einar. I didn't find Hakon's comment that funny, but it was rather endearing the way he elbowed Frek about him being in the story. Hakon also being tentative about what his own role would be… overall this is a very solid, fun chapter. I unfortunately have to agree with Hakon that I don't fully get it; as in, not entirely the names and roles they were chosen for (Hakon is not that nice), but that's on me.

CHAPTER 33 | GUÐVARR pg. 305 "'I have,' Skalk said, running his fingertips across the staff. Ripples of light flickered across the grain in the wood at the Galdurman's touch. Skalk saw the staff's head was thicker, and he could make out faint features. A curl fo hair. The hint of eyes, a nose and mouth, and abruptly Guðvarr realised what it was."

In this paragraph, it appears that another misnaming had happened. The second 'Skalk' is likely supposed to be Guðvarr, as in "Guðvarr saw the staff's head was thicker, and he could make out faint features." That's the version that makes more sense.

pg. 306 Gwynne, please make up your mind. Just how self-aware is this man? Sometimes he lacks any introspection and then he busts out lines like this. It doesn't feel like depth, it feels like inconsistence.

"Yrsa behind him" is giving me war flashbacks. The sentence is also somewhat awkward because of its inclusion. I'd have preferred "He gasped and stumbled, his legs going weak and he began to fall, but Yrsa caught him and hauled him upright."

CHAPTER 34 | ELVAR pg. 311 Literally how old is Elvar? Why would anyone be okay with her leading the Battle-Grim when she's got no idea what she's doing ToT

pg. 312 So. Störr, Elvar's father, beat his wife/Elvar's mother, and Elvar seems to have seen it personally, and had been held back by her brother Thorun, who was enjoying the show. And… she still was considering going back to her father in The Shadow of the Gods. She needed a whole chapter to be told by somebody else that she should not return to Störr's side, even though her father has been a piece of shit who beat Elvar's mother and tried to make Elvar into Prince Hakon's "brood bitch". And she was genuinely torn over whether or not to stay with the Battle-Grim or return to Störr's side.

Lmao dumb bitch literally get the fuck away what do you mEAN this makes that chapter even more frustrating and retroactively fuckign STUPID because we should have gotten taht big of a lore drop IN THAT CHAPTER with Elvar telling her shitass father to fuck off. Oh my god. what idiocy. what the fuck is this. I want to DNF this book so bad but I spent actual money on it… I might as well read it to hopefully figure out whether Elvar gets shat on like she deserves.

pg. 314 Uspa, you have seen Elvar enslave your husband and been treated as a thrall by her, you've seen Elvar enslave two gods and beat the shit out of one of said slaves, you have heard her act as if she is gracious for offering to treat the slaves well if they "earn" her respect, and you have seen her thoughtlessly slaughter a battle-sister because she did not consider that perhaps they shouldn't be losing combatants even though it had been pointed out to her. She also hasn't actually done anything to lead the Battle-Grim at all. I get if Uspa is trying to butter Elvar up, but with how much has been mishandled thus far in this book I am not holding my breath.

pg. 317 Skuggar… means shadows… literally what language do these people speak. Literally why are all the names middle-grade. "Shadows was always one for the shadows" I am fucking weeping.

pg. 320 I truly do hope Uspa was just buttering Elvar up and being facetious, because that meaningful look and "haven't realised it yet" bit truly doesn't work here. Elvar had all the time in the world to figure this shit out, and many people in her place would. She ran away from being manipulated and controlled after all; away from being a "brood bitch". People her age and younger would have been able to figure things out for themselves without resorting to being revolting slavers. She has no sympathy from me, not with how she treats people, and I hope she's getting no sympathy from Uspa either.

CHAPTER 35 | BIÓRR pg. 327 "And those with those animals in the blood were valued higher than any other Tainted among the jarls and pwoers of Vigrið." Would have been nice to actually see that somewhere. Instead of just being told.

A general note is that I just… don't find the shapeshifting aspect of the gods to be very intriguing, especially the descriptions. Would have preferred if they didn't shift back and forth all the time, because I find it hard to believe they can do so this quickly unless they are actually very small. I just don't get the sense of scale or time whenever this happens.

CHAPTER 36 | ORKA pg. 330 "Orka nodded." shouldn't be in italics.

I'm guessing Sæunn is a descendant of Hundur; makes sense, since they have been shown to be amazing trackers. Orka constantly gathering scents and blood samples ties in with what we've seen of Ilmur. Poor Sæunn though.

I hope the other characters will start to put Elvar in her place once they meet, if they meet.

CHAPTER 37 | VARG pg. 337 + pg. 338 issue on pg. 337 with a period being used where a colon (:) would have been much more fitting. we also lost a quotation mark somewhere in the ether on pg. 338

pg. 341 Okay no but Røkia telling Varg about the brynja and the sea chest and him being a dumbass is actually so adorable. I love it.

pg. 342 Okay, see, this moment, reflecting on his first kill, would have been a good time to reflect on Varg's relationship with his deeds and the death he caused! Not just of that druzhina, and he doesn't necessarily have to feel the guilt; but he could remember the fear and the guilt he had felt back then, and then reflect over how he feels now. Maybe feel disgusted with himself or conflcited about the fact he does not feel guilty anymore, or maybe he's not sure. Maybe he thinks he should regret it, he should fear this man he's becoming. This is the best time for the guilt-discussion! Not with a revolting slaver!

I do like Varg's moment with Sulich though. However…

pg. 343 That 'is' doesn't really fit in "He's a proud one, is Sulich". I think it would work better as "He's a proud one, that Sulich."

CHAPTER 38 | ELVAR Didn't Elvar say, just last time we were with her, that she feels the burden of caring for the Battle-Grim weighing heavy on her? The questions of how to get food, how to pay, how to keep them alive and healthy and well? I would have preferred if we continued with that aspect of her character, instead of ping-ponging around. If she was actually struggling to be a good chief and maybe second-guessed herself it would have the potential of growing on me. I do hope Gwynne won't fumble the ball with Elvar, because she just feels like such a non-character. She's a villain more than a hero, but I feel like I'm supposed to see her as a hero? Which might be a disconnect of sorts. She's not even an anti-hero, she's too evil for it to me, and there's nothing to really care about with her. I want to skip her chapters so bad but in this book, the POVs actually matter… mostly. They're more closely-knit and play off of each other, so it's not as off-putting as in the first book. THOTGT actually does a very good job at justifying the multi-POV approach; The Shadow of the Gods genuinely would have been more enjoyable if it was more like a short-story compilation/anthology and we followed each character's entire journey before hopping on to the next.

CHAPTER 39 | ORKA I fucking hope Orka beats Elvar's ass at some point. I fucking hope Varg beats Elvar's ass at some point. We don't see much of Ulfrir but he seems great. I don't want Elvar to get anywhere near Orna tho. I want them chains loosened on Ulfrir and Skuld as well, but the whole situation doesn't seem like it's gonna be resolved; at least not proper.

CHAPTER 40 | BIÓRR Biórr has not mentioned Elvar and Agnar yet, thank god. It's also quite nice to see Kráka be confident and playful, verbally toying with Storolf. The fact that she is an equal really shows here, which I really like. Even if Lik-Rifa is very two-dimensional, I like that Gwynne is fleshing out the common Raven-Feeder and showing that there is a strong kinship and sense of belonging there. I'm a little surprised the children are actually handling this situation so well? But I guess they saw what happened to Breca, so perhaps I shouldn't be surprised after all.

[panictimesfour]

way to miss the entire fucking point of the post. did you even read it or did you just ignore the entire third paragraph?

I dislike it because it's a product of a sex-negative society that deems queer people to be disgusting sex pests and instead of going "that's fucked up because there's nothing wrong with sex" people go "that's fucked up because we're not like those dirty disgusting predators who want sex without romance (coughalloaroscough)".

I dislike it because arophobia is rampant in the queer community and people will throw us under the bus for points and have. (Stonewall UK posted a tweet acknowledging aros during aro week and other queer people called us predators and implied we were cishet invaders)

I dislike it because the word love is shoved onto aros and whenever we say "please don't" people just redefine it to force it on us.

(paragraph breaks and bold added to highlight certain parts and for readability)

your entire first paragraph is really just...proving ops point. i dont want to have to spell out just how stupid your reasoning is, so please, read it again, and use those reading comprehension skills you learnt in school, please.

it's fucking insufferable how when we talk about how love is almost exclusively seen as a romantic thing, allos have to barge in and say "um ackshually love isnt just romantic! maybe ur the arophobic one! gotcha!" like we don't ALL know that friends, family and the warmth of the sun are not the first thing that comes to mind when someone mentions love. stop it. stop being pendantic. we all know you're doing it just to do it.

Love is love is not conflating gay couples with straight couples it's highlighting the infinite capacity of love and how it makes us like one another. That we all in some capacity desire human connection, friendship, care, and love.

uh huh...you do realise that this is just blatantly untrue, right? humans are very capable of liking something without loving it. human connection, friendship and care are also entirely possible without love. i wouldn't say i love the old lady who lives across the street from me and teaches me to sew in exchange for some baked treats, but i sure do appreciate her friendship and care about her.

as for the "infinite capacity of love", please. don't make me laugh. love is like hatred, anger, sadness or happiness - an emotion. i suppose you could argue that all emotions possess infinite capacity - i won't argue with you on that - but then it is not unique in it either. love is morally neutral. it can lead to good things and wonderful memories. it can also be the cause of intense suffering and abuse. i mean, there is no hate quite like christian love, am i right? they merely want to save us from the eternal suffering of hell.

i could go on but i feel like abuse and violence stemming from love is kind of its own post and i dont want to derail op tooooooo much. suffice to say, you need a little nuance, and you have to look at their actions from their own point of view. nobody thinks of themself as the villain.

Queer spaces are so centered around casual sex now a days, I wonder in what ways an aro person would feel left out?

...you do realise that casual sex is really only acceptable in your teens and early twenties, right? even ignoring all the romantic expectations and stereotypes surrounding fuck buddies, you're still expected to settle down with a permanent partner by 30. less and less people are up for casual sex as you get older. a 50 year old who wants casual sex is 1) looked down upon, and 2) has almost no options barring sex work, which is its own can of worms.

oh, and let's not forget the age-old favourite: "what the fuck is queer about men using women for sex?"

i dont even want to get into that one honestly.

I dislike the phrase "love is love" because I don't believe that minorities should have to say "we're just like you!" In order to be accepted. I dislike it because it doesn't apply to all queer people, (including bisexuals, gays, lesbians, etc) but people treat it like it does.

this part is important to me as someone who's queerness is entirely void of love, who has no queer love, but is still undeniably queer.

i am transgender and alloaro. you could say i am bi- or pansexual - i am sexually attracted to men, women and everything outside or in between - though i choose not to label it for simplicity's sake.

none of it is related to love.

i hate dysphoria. it ruined my teenage years, haunts me every day, it is one of the worst things that have happened to me. i am working on accepting my body, the damage done to me by puberty, the fact that i will never be the same as a cisgender man. i hope that in time i will learn to love and accept my body. but my transness is not related to love. it did not come from love and is not motivated by love. body acceptance is not the same thing as love.

i am explicitly aromantic. i do not romantically love. i hope this is self-explanatory.

my sexuality is also not defined by love. i find people hot, and i want to have sex with them. that is, quite literally, about it. sometimes i end up enjoying that person's company, and we end up friends, but that is entirely unrelated to the sexual attraction. again, not related to love.

yet the queer community expects me to neatly slot myself into "love is love".

(there's also a whole thing about how "love is love" is also criticized in the trans community, but that's also a seperate post and also not quite my domain.)

aros, especially alloaros, are pushed out of queer and aspec spaces by the people who are supposed to be supporting and uplifting us. we just want to be seen, be heard, be accepted, not pushed aside and thrown under the bus. irl community is nonexistant. online community...i mean, i only know of this little tumblr corner, but i'd be very glad to be proved wrong.

there's a lot more i want to say, but i really don't want to derail ops post more than i already have, so i'll stop here. apologies for the bad formatting and if anything is unclear, please ask instead of assuming. i am not always good at wording my sentences correctly/politely/inoffensively and i'm happy to reword to clear things up.

People are now calling aros homophobic for saying "love loses" and disliking the phrase "love is love"

I don't dislike the phrase "love is love" because I'm aro and I hate the concept of love and I want to trample on queer joy and I don't understand the meaning behind love is love.

I dislike the phrase "love is love" because I don't believe that minorities should have to say "we're just like you!" In order to be accepted. I dislike it because it doesn't apply to all queer people, (including bisexuals, gays, lesbians, etc) but people treat it like it does. I dislike it because it's a product of a sex-negative society that deems queer people to be disgusting sex pests and instead of going "that's fucked up because there's nothing wrong with sex" people go "that's fucked up because we're not like those dirty disgusting predators who want sex without romance (coughalloaroscough)". I dislike it because arophobia is rampant in the queer community and people will throw us under the bus for points and have. (Stonewall UK posted a tweet acknowledging aros during aro week and other queer people called us predators and implied we were cishet invaders) I dislike it because the word love is shoved onto aros and whenever we say "please don't" people just redefine it to force it on us. I dislike it because there are better alternatives. I dislike it because rainbow capitalism has taken it over. I dislike it because it just feels a bit overused and cliche at this point. I dislike it for plenty of reasons, from legitimate to petty. Because I'm a person, not an evil aro who wants to destroy the queer community.

Aros, for a very long time, have had the word love used against us as a tool for our oppression. (Yes, love can be used to oppress people) And a lot of aros are sick of not being represented in queer spaces. The community puts so much emphasis on romantic love in an effort to not be the stereotypical sex obsessed queer but that leaves out aros. And people will be like "it's to uplift gays, bis, and lesbians" but there are aromantic gays, bis, and lesbians! I'm an aromantic bisexual person! I am directly harmed by the whole "we're not dirty sex pests, we can love (romantically) just like you!"

I, and many other aros, dislike the phrase love is love because it leaves us behind in the dirt. We often feel like the dirty side of queerness that no one wants to acknowledge. Saying "queer love is real love" isn't a bad thing, but having that be the one and only thing queer people ever talk about leaves out a portion of the community and we're allowed to talk about it.

"Love is love" doesn't represent me as a bisexual aromantic person. Not everything has to represent or include me but it would be nice if just one thing did. My version of queer joy is not represented by love is love and I just want a fucking alternative that does include it!

[Don't tag as ace/aroace or derail]

[nokingsonlyfooles]

This is a Poll! I Will Eventually Get to the Poll!

Conversational drift is a thing and if you got someone who's drift compatible, you hang onto that person for life.

So, the spouse and I were discussing how the word "subwoofer" is wasted on an audio device and it should instead refer to some kind of discreet toy that give deep bass vibes, perhaps via blue whale noises. That's not what I'm gonna ask you about, Tumblr, that is objectively true.

No. Somehow we decided Yassified Mrs. Tweedy from Chicken Run: Dawn of the Nugget has real dom energy and her next conquest would be El Pollero himself, Gus Fring - if only he wasn't gay! El Pollero is Mrs. Tweedy's impossible dream! In fact, once he finds out about the chicken collars, he might try to seduce "what's-his-nuts, in the chicken suit" away from her. "Mr. Tweedy II," I ad-libbed, (It's Dr. Fry but I had to look it up.) "has it never occurred to you to to sell these happiness collars to people?" And then, in a goofier voice, "But they're chicken collars, they're to make chickens happy..."

And the spouse says, "I don't know how to make people happy!"

If I'd been drinking water I would've done a spittake. "WTF, are you adding emotional depth to this? Oh, my god. That's a fic!"

"It's a crack pairing. It'd only hold up for a thousand words or so..."

"No! Are you kidding me?"

"100k, slow burn romance?"

"YES!" A pause. "In the spirit of that game where you buy three items to freak out the cashier, the only fic I have on AO3 right now is the WTYP one. WTYP fights Gozer, a slow burn romance between Gus Fring and whats-his-nuts in the chicken suit, and what's the third one...??"

After some discussion, I admitted, "The one I really wanna do is Bartleby the Scrivener as a Seinfeld episode... And maybe in the B-plot Kramer does The Tell-Tale Heart."

"Wait, is Kramer the killer or the victim?"

"The killer? I dunno, we need him for the next episode..."

Anyway, we decided Kramer gets a Furby and he's taking it everywhere and Newman's real annoyed with it, but he needs to sneak into Kramer's room while he's sleeping and steal it without setting it off. A cursory internet search suggests that Furbies and Seinfeld did share a brief moment on this planet, so this would've been one of the last episodes, perhaps a lost finale. ...In which case I would be free to kill whoever I like!

But, okay. I'm done with my next six-pack and I'm not going to publish it until I can illustrate. My eyes are putting me on indefinite hiatus. But I can write! So, if I get real bored... And I'm not saying I will, 'cos I got a lot of eye exercises to do and ATM they get me real tired and useless. But IF I get real bored, and if this poll strays across your dash, and you decide to care, do you wanna see:

Option 1: A slow burn romance between Gus Fring, from Better Call Saul and Breaking Bad, and Dr. Fry from Chicken Run: Dawn of the Nugget, guest starring Yassified Mrs. Tweedy. I can't promise you 100k but I will take it as seriously as I can.

Option 2: An episode of Seinfeld where Elaine details her investigation of her new coworker Bartleby, George tries to get out of work by saying "I prefer not to," and Kramer and Newman do The Tell-Tale Furby.

And if you feel moved, go ahead and steal. I think our takes would undoubtedly be unique, and it would be hilarious if someone clicked on a tag and found MORE THAN ONE.

[whiteqnn]

PURE [5] - Corpse Husband x Fem!Reader

A/N: It’s been a while.  

part 1

part 2

part 3

part 4

PURE [5]

“Did you guys find anybody?” Felix’s voice sounded out when the man repeated the same question for what seemed like the third time since he joined the call. The number of players showed 7 of them, which meant that they were still missing three people. Sure, they could start the game now, but it would be way more enjoyable and funny with a full lobby. 

“Yeah, Toast will be here any moment. “Sykkuno replied right away. “He just texted me; he should join us in a few.”

“Cool. Anyone else?” 

“I think Corpse was also supposed to join us, right? Not sure though why he isn’t here yet.” 

“Oh, yeah, Corpse will be here soon too!” Jack suddenly chimed in with an explanation. “He said he needed to take care of something first, but he’ll be here before we start.” 

“Great. But that means we’re still one person short.” Felix hummed when Toast’s little astronaut appeared in the lobby “Hey Toast."

“Hey man.”

“Do you have anyone coming?”

“I’m afraid not. I asked MrBeast, but he’s busy, so...”

“Well then, we can just start when Corpse is here, and maybe we’ll find someone in the meantime?” Dave suggested, earning a few hums of approval from the other players. 

“Yeah, I think that’s the best option...” Jack agreed. But then his voice blared out in everyone’s headphones with excitement. “Ha! Corpse is bringing someone!” 

“Who?” 

“I dunno, he just texted me he has one coming and that’s all.” 

“Hm, all right. Let’s wait then.”

***

Corpse fidgeted with his phone, glancing between its screen and the chat in his stream. People were already asking countless questions, but rather than answering them, he was waiting for Y/N to call him. He was nervous - the girl still hadn’t commented on his request. 

The idea to invite her to the lobby wasn’t spontaneous. In fact, he’d been thinking about it for quite some time now, but never found the courage to actually ask if she would like to join them for the game.

It’s been almost a month now since that memorable phone call. A month since Y/N last played with her friends; a month since she considerably reduced her social media usage. 

Sure, she was still active on her youtube channel, but not as much as before the whole haters situation. No matter how hard she tried to just ignore them and simply continue her career, she just couldn’t. There were still these nagging thoughts at the back of her mind, reminding her of all those people and their comments, their messages. It seemed like a good idea to take a short break and sort everything out.

Her fans understood it. They were obviously sad that her videos weren’t as frequent as before, but everyone knew what the situation looked like and that Y/N needed some time for herself. 

Her audience knew it, and so did her friends. Especially Corpse. 

The man kept his word and talked to the girl whenever she wanted to. Which, in the end, was almost everyday. Although at the beginning their conversations mostly focused on her current problem and dealing with it, their topics broadened over the time. 

At one point though, Y/N started worrying that maybe she’s annoying him with her so frequent calls. She thought that she shouldn’t bother him that much - even if talking to him was what really helped her cope with her problems. He already had enough on his plate, and sharing her own concerns with him suddenly seemed like a very selfish thing to do.

But she quickly realized how wrong she was for thinking like that. When one day she didn’t call, figuring out that she should stop troubling him with her own issues, she was very surprised when Corpse reached out to her himself. He expressed how worried he got when she didn’t call, and when she explained what was the reason, he spent the next fifteen minutes lecturing her that she should never think she’s bothering him. 

From that day on, they talked every single day. And they talked about almost everything.

Corpse enjoyed their late night-talks more than anything. He liked to listen to Y/N talk about the things she finds exciting, her hobbies, and her dreams. Hell, she could talk about what she ate for breakfast, and he would still listen with interest. 

And even though they haven’t seen each other in person, even though she still hasn’t seen his face, they managed to get really close during those past weeks. For an outside observer (who also didn’t have access to Twitter) they would seem like a couple of very good friends.

But not for Corpse.

He couldn’t pinpoint when exactly did it happen. They were talking one evening and Y/N was telling him about the TV series she had finished watching recently. He listened intently and watched as her facial expressions changed from excited to frustrated, as she was enumerating everything she liked and disliked about the series finale.

And then he suddenly got this weird feeling in the pit of his stomach, and simply couldn’t take his eyes off her. 

He tried to play it off and act as if nothing changed, but he couldn’t stop his heart from doing backflips whenever she laughed at one of his dumb jokes or called him partner. It was still a running joke between them and among the group of their friends, but there was something in the way she said it that made him instantly smile like an idiot. 

He also started paying more attention to the hashtags on Twitter and Instagram. #PartnersInCrime was still rather popular, even though it was a month since anyone last used this phrase on stream. Corpse also found out that #Y/Nforthebride was trending for some time; he even managed to stumble across a few fanarts. 

There was this urge to send them to Y/N, but he was too nervous that it would make things awkward between them... After all, he didn’t know how she felt about that whole shipping thing. 

That’s why he decided to just leave things between them as they are, and be happy that he’s at least her friend.  

Corpse nearly jumped out of his skin, when he was brought back to reality by the sound of an upcoming FaceTime call. Y/N’s photo appeared on his screen, her smiley face which he had assigned as her contact photo. His lips corners curled up in a smile almost unwittingly. 

“Hey Y/N/N” he said after answering the call. 

“Hi Corpse” she smiled softly upon hearing his voice. Although the screen on her side was dark, she didn’t mind not seeing Corpse’s face. She respected his wish to remain faceless and enjoyed their conversations anyway. 

“Whatcha doin’?”

“Just editing the new video. I guess I’ll upload it in the morning... but I’m not sure yet.”

“Well let me know then, I wanna be the first one to see it.” 

“Sure thing, Corpse” she chuckled, lowering her gaze bashfully. Corpse just looked at her face for a moment, unable to stop smiling to himself. Then he remembered why they were talking in the first place.

“So... have you seen my text?” Y/N sighed at his question but nodded her head slowly. “And what do you think?”

“I don’t know, Corpse...” she ran a hand through her hair in a nervous gesture. “...if that’s a good idea, I mean.”

“Well, it’s been a while. No pressure though, if you don’t wanna play then it’s totally fine.” he quickly clarified. “I just thought it would be fun if you joined us, even if just for a moment. I’m sure everyone would go crazy.” 

Her smile widened slightly at his words, but she still didn’t look convinced. Sure, it was tempting to join them. She wanted to do it each time Sean or Felix bombarded her with messages and codes to the lobby, both inviting her to join the group in the game. But then she remembered how people reacted to her appearance in their streams... and suddenly it didn’t seem like such a good idea anymore.

“We’re gonna play on Polus...” he added after a moment when she still didn’t say anything. “That one map with the planetary base... there’s a lava pit, y’know. Just saying...”

She laughed wholeheartedly at his words, remembering their last game when Corpse jumped into the lava for her. 

“Sykkuno’s gonna be there as well” Corpse continued. “And I promise I won’t kill you this time.”

“Even if I’m the last player alive?” she joked.

“Even then, Y/N.”

Corpse stifled a laugh, as she cocked her head to the side and narrowed her eyes slightly as if trying to spot him in the darkness. 

“Are you streaming, Corpse?” she then asked.

“Not yet. I’m gonna start the stream as soon as you say yes, though.”

“Oh c’mon” she laughed at his words “That’s emotional blackmail!” 

“Maybe. Is it working?” he asked.

Y/N let out a heavy breath and ran a hand down her face. Corpse watched in anticipation as she seemed to have some internal battle with herself. He hoped that she’s gonna agree, he really missed playing with her. 

“All right, then.” she suddenly said, and his breath hitched in his throat. “I’m gonna stay for a few rounds I guess...”

“Wait, really?” he asked, a smile on his face only widening. 

“Well, yeah, partner.” she replied, which made his cheeks go warm “Your imposter techniques haven’t been very effective lately... Someone needs to help you out, or you’re gonna lose your title of the king of the Imposters.” 

“Oh, is that’s how it is now?” he laughed in fake shock. “I wouldn’t have to worry about losing the title if my accomplice hadn’t left me all alone!” 

“All right, all right.” she giggled at his accusations. “Your accomplice is on her way to support you.” 

Corpse smiled even wider at the sound of her laughter. Her eyes shined with happiness when she was giggling, which only brought out their E/C color. The fact that his stupid babbling was the reason for her smile was making him feel extremely proud of himself.  

“But just so you know... I still have no idea how this map works, so I’m afraid I’m gonna need you to guide me around it...”

“Y’know you could as well just say you want to hang out with me...”

“Corpse!” she laughed, her cheeks blushing in embarrassment. 

“Just kidding Y/N” he chuckled at her reaction. “Of course I’m gonna guide you, don’t worry.”

“Okay then...” she said after a moment, looking at the screen again. “I’ll be there in a few minutes. Will you send me the code, please?”

“Sure I will, Y/N” 

“Okay. See you later, partner” she smiled brightly. 

“See you, partner.” 

When Y/N ended the call, Corpse let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. He sighed in relief and ran a hand through his hair, before moving to sit behind his desk.

It was only after he started the stream that he realized he was blushing. Not only because Y/N would join them, but because there was also another thing he wanted to ask her about, but didn’t find the courage to yet... 

***

By the time Y/N turned on her computer and started the game, Corpse has already sent her the code, and there was a Discord invite waiting for her as well. She bit her lip nervously as her heartbeat quickened. 

Was she nervous? As hell. 

She did everything she could to avoid being in unnecessary spotlight since she started receiving those hate messages. Perhaps escaping the problem wasn’t the best solution, but it definitely was a comfortable one. People wouldn’t have a reason to hate on her if she disappeared. 

But then she couldn’t say no to Corpse. And truth to be said - she really missed playing with her friends. From what she’d seen on Twitter, the lobby would be filled with those she’d already played with, so she wasn’t that nervous before the game. What she was nervous about though, was how people would react.

Accepting Corpse’s request was something she did due to the sudden rush of courage. And now there was no coming back.

She knew Corpse would understand if she changed her mind... but she heard how excited he was when she had agreed. She couldn’t do it to him. 

So, once she’d taken a deep breath and put her headphones on, Y/N accepted the invite and braced herself for the inevitable chaos that was bound to take place in the call. She decided to wait with joining the lobby though - at least until they realize she’s with them. 

“..the fuck you’re talking about?!” Felix’s voice was the first thing she heard, which made her roll her eyes with a smile. “It’s not my fault I sound like that! At least I don’t have a liar voice like Rae!” 

“HEY!” the girl yelled “I don’t have a liar voice!”

“You do, you’re using it even now!” Jack argued, much to Rae’s dismay. 

“What is going on here” Corpse’s deep voice sounded out suddenly. 

“Oh, you’re here! Finally” Sykkuno immediately welcomed him with his always happy voice. 

“Yeah, sorry that I’m late guys.”

“No worries, man” Pewdiepie spoke up again. “We were just talking about playing the voice card and that you’re basically the only one who can do it.” 

“Not fair at all!” Rae chimed in, making Corpse chuckle. 

“The voice card...” he hummed after a moment, before adding. “I wouldn’t really say I’m the only one though...”

“Well who else then? Everyone else either starts laughing or have a liar voice” Dave asked, and Rae scoffed at the last words.

“Well what about my guest?”

Y/N inhaled sharply, realizing that now she should probably reveal herself. 

“Oh, right! Who you’re bringing man?” Sean asked with curiosity.

That’s when Y/N typed in the game code, and her white astronaut appeared in the lobby. 

“Wait, who’s- HOLY SHIT” Sean all but yelled, when realization hit him. Y/N laughed loudly at his reaction, and her voice only seemed to prove to everyone that she really was there. 

“KIDDO WHAT THE FUCK” Felix reflected Jack’s response, yelling over his friend.

“Oh my god, hi!”

“What a surprise!” Y/N managed to catch Sykkuno’s words. “It’s so amazing to have you here, Y/N/N!” 

“As I live and breathe.” another voice spoke up, and Toast’s little astronaut came face to face with her white bean. “My lifelong nemesis. Back here snap my neck again, huh?”

“Yeah, happy to hear you too, Toast” Y/N giggled at his words, then she adressed the whole group. “Hi guys.”

“Okay I did not expect that in the slightest” Sean laughed happily “You’re here kiddo!” 

“I am” she smiled from ear to ear, even though they couldn’t see her. 

“Wait- Corpse, is that the thing you had to take care of?” her best friend asked Corpse with suspicious voice. 

“Well...” he trailed off and cleared his throat, making everyone laugh.

“That’s so great Y/N! We missed you so much!” Rae thundered over the bickering of the boys. “The game hasn’t been the same without you...”

“Agreed. I suddenly stopped dying.” Toast commented, making her roll her eyes with a laugh. 

“I don’t know if I should be happy or fucking scared right now.” Felix laughed nervously. “With Corpse and Y/N? We’re fucked now, guys.”

“I promise I’ll go easy on you, I haven’t played in so long I think I forgot all my strategies...” 

“Yeah, sure.” Toast’s forever suspicious voice made her smile wider. “Just don’t kill me in the first roung, okay? I won’t vote you off just stay the fuck away from me you little murderer.” 

“Okay, I promise I won’t kill you...” 

She couldn’t stop herself from laughing, and the smile remained on her face even when they started the game. It only seemed to widen, when she saw the sign Imposter on her screen. 

Only to giggle hysterically when she realized that Toast was the other imposter...

And so the game went on with Y/N and Toast cooperating like perfect serial killers. Corpse did as he promised and guided her through the map, both of them being closely followed by Sykkuno. Because of that she’d just sabotage the map most of the time to give Toast opportunities to kill their friends, but eventually managed to sneak out when her two fellow crewmates were doing their tasks. It just so happen that Pewds was walking past her, and she might’ve accidentally snapped his neck... 

“Goddamnit! I knew it! I fucking knew it was you!” Sean yelled once the game was over and Y/N saw the sign VICTORY on her screen, her small character standing next to Toast’s one. He was ejected at some point because Poki managed to walk in on him killing Rae, but Y/N remained undetected until the very end. Perhaps the fact that Corpse was one of the two crewmates who were left alive had something to do wtih it...

“That was rude” Pewds said in a whiny voice, clearly referring to their encounter which led to his death. “I was just happily walking around, doing my tasks like a good crewmate, and then boom! Y/N happened” 

“I would say I’m sorry... but I’m really not” she laughed, making Felix gasp in shock.

“That’s what happens when you work with Toast!” 

“Good game, Y/N. That was amazing” the man in question said appreciatively. 

“Will you finally forgive me for killing you that one time if I say that being imposters with you was cool?” she laughed nervously. 

“Actually... Yeah, I guess we can bury the hatchet now. AND we should team up more in the future.”

“Great!” 

“Excuse me, what?” Corpse’s voice made the whole lobby laugh. “I don’t remember us cancelling our partnership, Y/N.”

“Corpse...” 

“Are you trying to steal my accomplice from me Toast?” 

“Well she’s a great partner in crime after all...” Toast deliberately used the phrase, making Corpse gasp.

“Hey! She’s my partner! Find yourself your own, Toast” Corpse joked, making Y/N laugh bashfully, her cheeks warming up at his words. 

“Yeah yeah, I remember, don’t worry man. No one’s gonna take your partner in crime away from you...” Toast’s teasing voice made them all laugh, Corpse and Y/N included. 

For the next few rounds Y/N played as a crewmate, running around the map with either Corpse or Sykkuno and doing her tasks. During meetings they joked and laughed, and for a moment, she stopped thinking about what people watching her friend’s streams might think about her presence. After all, there was at least a small chance that they didn’t think about it at all, and simply enjoyed watching their favoirte youtubers. Just as she enjoyed playing with her friends. 

Oh, and by the way, Corpse kept his promise and didn’t kill her even when she was the last player alive...

It was soon time when everyone started slowly leaving the lobby, having played for over three hours. Y/N also said her goodbyes to the others and promised that she’d join them to play a game called Raft next week. 

When she turned her computer off and threw herself on her bed, Y/N immediately grabbed her phone to call Corpse. He answered right away. 

“Well hello, partner...” she rolled her eyes with a smile when he accented the last word. “Or should I say, traitor, instead?” 

“Corpse... you know I would never betray you...” 

“Well how can I be so sure, now that I know how cool it is to be imposters with Toast?” she knew he was joking, she could almost hear the smile in his voice.

“Not nearly as cool as it is with you, Corpse” Y/N grinned from ear to ear when Corpse scoffed. 

“I spare your life so many times and that’s what I get in return? You cheat on me with Toast?” he said in disbelief “I’m disappointed, Y/N, I really am.”

“I would never!” she laughed through her words, even though her cheeks were now red because of Corpse’s words. “You’re the best partner in crime, Corpse, I wouldn’t trade you for anyone else!” 

Not only in the game, she thought.

“Hmm, alright. Let’s say I believe you.” he said after a moment of thinking. 

“I mean it, Corpse...” Y/N said after calming down from her laughter. “I... I really wanted to thank you.”

“Thank me? For what?” he asked, genuinely surprised. 

“Well, first of all for inviting me to today’s game... I really had lots of fun, it was great to play and talk with the others. And I wouldn’t be in the lobby if not for you...” Y/N mumbled, before verbalizing her previous thoughts. “And I also wanted to thank you for just... you know... being my friend. My real life partner in crime. I just wanted you to know I’m really glad I met you...” 

Corpse was silent for a good few moments, and Y/N started panicking that maybe she said something wrong, or maybe he found her spontaneous confession funny, or worse, dumb. She was almost ready to somehow laugh it all off, when his voice cut her off.

“Thank you, Y/N. It really means a lot to me too.” he sounded like he had some troubles with speaking, which made Y/N furrow her brows in worry.

“Is everything okay, Corpse?” 

“Yeah, I...” he stuttered, then laughed nervously. “I just didn’t expect that and... yeah. It’s not something I hear on a daily basis, especially from someone like you.”

Someone like me? 

 “But what you said... it’s mutual.” he said after a moment, and Y/N couldn’t stop herself from grinning like an idiot. “You’re the best partner in crime I could ask for. And not only in the game.” 

She could as well just pass out there and there...

“So uhm... there was one thing I wanted to ask you...”

“Yeah?”

“I was wondering if maybe... you know, if you’d have some time... and if you’d want to of course... would you maybe like to visit me here in San Diego?”

Yeah, passing out seems like a good idea. 

***

This is not the last part. 

TAG LIST: 

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[venenatd]

just friends; eren jaegar x reader

summary: you and eren are best pals and have both recently be dumped. so, a plan to get over your exes is needed! what’s better than going out on the town trying to find quick fucks >:) also eren is a smug bastard but kinda has a heart of gold??

content: smut / nsfw 18+. minors dni. (choking, unprotected sex, creampie drinking, drunk sex, possessiveness ig? dirty talk, both of them want to be dominant tbh. slight size kink, oral both m and f receiving. female bodied reader) 

i am new to this pls let me know if i should add anything!!

word count: 5.8k words of unedited content 

a/n: uh so i never thought i’d be back on my tumblr bullshit at 23 but hey after years without the app i’m back. i needed to get out the h-word and this is what happened. enjoy and i’m sorry if it’s terrible lmao

“You look different” 

Frowning at the man waiting ever so patiently for you on the sofa, you look a little defeated. “Is that meant to be a compliment, Eren?”. He sighed, raising his eyebrows at you. To be fair, maybe you did. Wearing a figure hugging black dress, that definitely just hid your ass cheeks, hair styled and sprayed in place, dark lipstick and makeup on your face. Usually Eren would have seen you in sweats, always running a little late for class, snack in hand. 

“Different isn’t bad,” he offered, checking the watch that lay on his wrist, “are we ever going to get to the bar? Your plan will fall through if you’re not careful.”

Ah, the plan. Both you and Eren were newly single. In your final year at university, having managed to keep each relationship going until almost the end. Ironic. Weren’t most meant to fail in the first year? But alas, your partners had decided it was the end within a couple of weeks each other, and as you and Eren had been close since you met on orientation day, you each took to the other for comfort. You had done the crying first, going to him the minute your call with the ex had ended. Leaving wet splotches on his shirt, he had calmed you, only for you to do the same to him later. Now the crying was done, it was time to move on, and what better advice to follow than getting under someone to get over another?

“I just need to look hot enough for a guy to fuck me.”

“What a romantic you are.”

“Shut up Er-”

Eren shifted from the couch, interrupting your usual sass, “and what about me, y/n? Do I look beautiful?”. He threw in a wink with his comment, his aura of cockiness always radiating. You rolled your eyes, before studying his figure. His dark hair half pulled back into a bun, the rest draping his neck and onto a deep emerald green silk shirt, with the top few buttons loose, tucked into dark pants. A ring on each hand, fingers with chipping black nail polish, and to top it off, a thin chain on his neck. You hated to admit it and add to his smug demeanour but... the man did look good. 

“Gorgeous as always Eren,” you said sarcastically, even if it was truthful, “I’m sure there will be a queue of women who are wanting to jump on you.”

“Not if they aren’t all taken already,” he taps at his watch. Whilst the two of you had already been drinking as he waited for you to get ready, it was definitely on the later side.

“Order the uber, and we can go.”

Walking over to him and adding shoes to your outfit, you present yourself before him, a cute little smile playing on your lips. He’s staring down at his phone, quickly going through the motions for the ride. Finally, he looks up to catch your eyes. His jade pupils flick down slightly, and he hopes you miss that they land at the cleavage you’re sporting in your current get up. He flicks your nose, earning a scowl from you and a smile from him.

“You look perfect”

The club is far fuller than you both expected, dance floor and tables taken up and crowded round. Luckily, you had managed to secure you and Eren a pair of seats at the bar, and you were currently on your third..? Fourth drink of the evening. Green eyes watch your lips carefully, as you finish the vodka and lemonade. 

“So, anyone take your fancy?” he prompts, looking around at the mess of people.

Humming, you scan the area. There’s some people you recognise from class, but plenty more you don’t know. Fucking friends seems like a bad move, even in your tipsy state, so you look to the strangers faces. They don’t look like him. Ugh. 

There’s a few options though, and as you point them out to Eren they come with brief descriptors: dark hair and stubble, wide set blonde. He tuts at the options, sarcastically letting out a “sure sure, I see the appeal”. 

“And how about you, anyone you like the look of?” you ask with a sigh.

Christ, Eren thinks to himself. It’s been long enough that he hasn’t had to look for someone else. Sure there were attractive people in the world, but with her around, he hadn’t needed to give anyone else a second look. His palm moves to the back of his neck, stretching out behind him with a huff. “Let’s look on the dance floor?” he offers, clearly not as eager as you were tonight. Moving his hand back down, he holds it out for you, pulling towards the throng of people.

He looks effervescently cool like this. Shirt open, hair starting to fall from his bun. Eren is looking around at the people surrounding the two of you. The two of you had been working in circles, allowing each other an eyeful as the club goers move around the space. As a group of guys push their way from the dance floor to the bar, you get shoved towards Eren. Heels were never quite your forte, and you stumble against him, hands on either side of his chest. Grinning down at you with that smug little smile that annoyed you so much, Eren brought large hands to your waist, pushing you away a little. But his hands stay there as he continues to sway to the music, making no effort to break the contact. And so you bring your arms up to his neck, allowing his movements to carry you on time to the song. For the first time in the past couple of weeks, you feel light. Your chest isn’t constricted by some foreign weight. It’s just you and your best friend, buzzed and free.

Colours change above you, as you look up to Eren, him down to you. A playful grin takes his lips as he pulls you a little closer, you so easily accepting the narrowing distance. Your black silk meets his deep green, chest pushing into his. You carefully analyse his features, seeing if he attempts to check you out like earlier. 

Was it the alcohol making your cheeks so warm? Lit up by a purple hue, you watch his eyes return to exploring the crowd, his hand still holding on to you. His smirk falters, his eyebrows creasing together. You’re not moving in circles anymore, Eren pausing in his movements as he thinks about what to do next. He shouldn’t lie to you, but seeing your ex at the bar would really harsh the night. Under his fingers, he can feel your body tense, suddenly unsure at how close the contact between you was. 

But Eren doesn’t want you to know, he doesn’t want you to be distracted by your ex tonight. He doesn’t want to see your hurt little face anymore. The way your eyes would be red and puffy the next day. The way he would feel your shoulders heaving under his arms. You don’t deserve that. Hell, you didn’t deserve the huge amount of shit your ex had put you through over the years he’d known you. Eren would sit back and listen to you rant, support you where he could. But fuck that guy. And he wasn’t sure what sparked in his chest, but Eren’s jade orbs are trained straight back on you. His eyebrows calm, tension releasing from them. As you can turn to scope out whatever had changed his body language so suddenly, he catches your jaw. 

Beginning to slowly move again, his eyes have narrowed, taking in the way the dress hugs you, the shine on your skin from the hot dance floor. Eren couldn’t quite figure out what was intoxicating him right now. Definitely a lot of alcohol, but also a sudden… possessiveness. He didn’t want you in pain anymore. Eren wanted you in pleasure. His breath is suddenly on your neck, making your hair raise. 

“I’ve only seen one person I’m interested in tonight.” 

“Oh?” you squeak, before clearing your throat a little. The new deep notes in his voice catch you off guard. It almost sounds like he’s… No. He’s your best friend. The little looks you’d been giving each other all night were just two people looking out for one another, two people seeing each other happy for the first time in a while. Your voice is calmer as you ask light-heartedly, “and who would that be?” 

His lips are so close to your ear. 

“You.” 

“Eren-” your hands move from behind his neck, resting on his shoulders. You need to see your best friend's face, you need to know if he’s joking right now. If he’s mocking you. When you draw back, you see his face. Smug, as always. Fuck you’ve always wanted to knock that cockiness down a peg. Cheshire smile showing his teeth and his eyes looking down at you. Half lidded eyes, pupils blown. He’s not joking. Fuck.

“Can I kiss you?” 

Your breath is caught in your throat. All too aware suddenly of each of his finger pads pressing into your skin, the contact feeling like fire with the added alcohol. But, you find yourself nodding, the yes just escaping your lips before he’s pressed into them.

Large hands travel to your hip, and up your back, pressing you into him. You can feel his body, tense in exhilaration against you, hands back around his neck. One travels up to the nape of his back, tangling into his hair and pulling him deeper into you. The music is all consuming, you can feel the bass in your body, you can feel Eren against you, you can feel the adrenaline coursing through your veins. 

Eren’s hand on your back travels up, echoing your placement on him, to hold the back of your neck. He doesn’t want you to go, you feel too good. The heat between your bodies could suffocate him. His thumb puts pressure under your jaw, he isn’t even sure you can feel it. But he can, measuring your pulse racing underneath the pad. He’s smiling into this kiss, this all consuming kiss.

His tongue swipes at your bottom lip, and you’re all too eager to allow him into your mouth. Tasting the whisky from your home, tasting the coke from the club. His teeth take your lip nipping slightly, before sucking the plump of it into his mouth. You both come up for air, eyes meeting in acknowledgment of the situation.

“Wanna get out of here?”

The drive home had only served to heap tension between you. As clearly that it was that you wanted each other, you would have to wait a while longer. Your thighs pressed together, slowly inhaling and exhaling. Going through your mind was whether this was a good idea, staring out at the city passing by you. Eren was your friend. You were dating another man two weeks ago. The same man that had previously asked you if he needed to be worried about Eren. You’d laughed it off, because it was Eren. You were brought out of your thoughts when you felt him grip your leg, a little too harshly at first, before settling, leaving a gentle pattern of circles and lines on your inner thigh. It was Eren.

Just one hallway. You had to make it one hallway to get into your apartment. One hallway left to come to your senses. And just like he read your mind, Eren is once again touching you, just his hand on yours pulling you backwards. You twist just in time, his hands instantly cupping your cheeks as he kisses you, deeply and intensely. Pushing you back into the wall, you pray a neighbour doesn’t walk out now. His knee is pressing gently between your legs, and you allow it. Your fingers sink into Eren’s arms, lightly covered by the fabric yet you can still feel the muscle underneath, relaxing and tensing as he pulls you closer. 

His lips are making their way to your jaw, lifting your chin upwards, tentatively licking the bone before moving downwards still, sucking and nipping and licking your neck. A whimper breaks through. You really need to get inside. Gripping his hair, you sharply pull backwards.

“Not going to play nice, huh?” 

When did he speak like this? The playful and shit-eating grin your friend Eren always wore was replaced by something darker, his words laced with intent. 

“Don’t challenge me.” 

You were off, finally at your door, making quick work with the lock, moving in first before he followed. The door shut as you pushed Eren against it, usual doe eyes being taken over with a deep lust. Your hands are instantly at his belt, as his hands find your face once again. This time he’s grabbing your hair, making you look up at him as he glares down at you. You’re constantly challenging one another in conversation, and it’s translating to the bedroom far too easily. 

Lips are on one another again, as you leave the belt and start towards his shirt. You bite down on his bottom lip, earning a hiss from him, and you feel his hand being brought around your throat. He doesn’t add too much pressure, checking if this turn is indeed okay with you. When you push against the weight, he takes the gleam in your eye as a yes, and uses the force to push you against the next wall, finally moving off the front door. 

It’s a constant battle to get to the bedroom, both of you taking control for short bursts. Eren pulling the thin straps of your dress down, you untucking his shirt. His muscular torso is on full display, and you had never viewed it in this light before. 

Finally he pushes you onto the bed, situating himself between your legs. Your kisses are sloppy and infused with alcohol. Hands are desperate with one another, both of you needing to be closer. Are you scared if the contact ends your thoughts will return to sanity? 

Eren’s hot and heavy over you, his hands seem everywhere at once. Smoothing up your thigh, digging in slightly to the flesh when you grind against one another. His hands rest at your hips for a moment, and he’s looking down at you, still fucking smiling. All at once, he’s flipped you over his prominent hard on pressing into your ass. He’s whispering in your ear, leaving wet kisses along your neck, to your shoulder blades. Fingers take the zip at the back of your dress, slowly and carefully pulling it down, leaving licks and pecks as he goes. It’s torturous. 

You attempt to speed things up by rutting your ass against his crotch, and you think you hear a quiet moan, before his hand is brought down to the fabric, smacking your cheek. You gasp, turning your head to look at him. Eren is too occupied in taking in all of your body, his green eyes are darkened with authority and lust. His nimble fingers play with the short hem of your dress, thumb dipping beneath, before he pushes the silk up. 

You both let out soft fuck’s, as his hands grab at the plump of your ass. It’s like he’s testing the softness, the way your flesh responds to his touch so easily. He slaps at you again, earning a sharp moan from you. Eren’s leaning down, his mouth once again trailing across the apex of your behind, leaving trails of saliva as he goes. Before you can even register the new sensations you can feel a soft pressure against your clothed cunt, just enough to let you know the presence of his hand, but not enough for you to get off on. You’re mewling, once again trying to get closer to him. This time he allows it, eagerly pressing his ring and middle finger to your clit, allowing you to grind upon them. 

Seeing you underneath him like this… it’s new and strange and so fucking hot. He’s watching you desperately try and fill the need building in your core, and he can only feel his cock twitch in his pants as he sees you coming undone. If you wanted more, he could definitely give it to you. Bringing his large hands away, to the flimsy fabric that was covering you, he pulls it down, exposing you to him. His heart and dick fucking jump. His hands return to your ass, watching the jiggle as you move and whimper. Spreading you, he brings his face down, breath tingling on your most sensitive areas.

Your breath catches in your throat as his tongue, gentle at first, licks between your folds. He’s tasting you, he’s moaning into your pussy, as you write beneath him. Eren’s hands are squeezing your ass cheeks, holding you still as you try to grind against his face. 

“Patience, y/n”, he says, with a slap on your behind again. 

“Fuck you,” you hiss. 

“You will be in a minute, baby girl, don’t worry.”

You go to make a retort but he’s instantly back, licking up your slit and a deep moan escapes you. Jesus you can feel the smile on his lips as he’s back on your pussy. Eren is so proud of the sounds he can draw from you. He wonders if your ex could make you come undone so easily. 

You taste sweet and saccharine on him, and he doesn’t hold back the groan as he further works his way into you. Hardened tongue moving it’s way from your entrance down to your clit. He swipes at it, before moving away again. Kissing your thighs, kissing the skin between your holes. Every now and then he’ll move back to your clit, allowing you a moment of pleasure before he’s teasing again. “Fuck, please”. Your whines are being smothered by the sheets, and Eren wants nothing more than to hear them, loud and clear.

Eren’s ringed fingers make their way to your hair, his face lifting from between your legs. He pulls you back round, and holy shit you can see how wet you are on his face. There’s a sheen to his lips and chin, and instinctively you reach up to his neck, pulling him back on top of you. Your tongue meets his, tasting your tartness on his mouth. A hand makes it way back down in between your thighs, playing and parting your folds. Your hand in turn reaches up his neck, pulling sharply at his hair once again. “Eren. More- please” you get out in between staggered breaths. 

“Aw, since you asked so nicely” his eyes watch your expression closely as his thumb rests on your clit, his finger swiftly moving inside you. Your eyebrows raise and knot, eyes wide and lips parted. But he keeps it still as your legs shaked around his arm. “Eren, move” you demand this time. 

“Oh, that’s not so nice. I liked it when you were polite.” He starts to retract his finger, thumb gently swabbing your clit so you’ll know what you miss.

“Please, please, please, Eren, please” you speak before he even gets the first knuckle out. All the teasing was creating a tightness in your lower stomach. 

“Much better.”

You whine as he continues to pull his finger from you, until he pushes it back in, curling his solitary finger up. Your fingernails are pressing deep into the muscle of his bicep, feeling how it moves as he finger fucks you. He’s hitting that perfect spot inside you again and again, and his thumb is swiping eagerly on your clit. 

Eren can feel you fluttering around his finger, desperate for more, desperate to release on him. He adds another finger, your wetness allowing him entrance easily. He wants to fuck you so bad, his cock so hard it felt like it was about to burst. 

He pushes your hands off him, leaving crescent moon indents deep in his skin, he works his way back down. He brings the black silk with him this time, fully being able to take in your body as you’re left naked before him. Holy shit you’re beautiful. He doesn’t want to stare too long and make you shy. But he still kisses his way down, before he’s back at your pussy. 

This time he allows you more movement, letting your fingers work their way back into his hair, letting you roll your hips against his tongue and stubble. 

With his spare hand he pulls out his cock, slowly pulling at it, before he realises he can’t do that for too long without cumming before the main event. Instead he reaches up, rolling your perked nipples in between his fingers. There are so many sensations on your body, and Eren can feel your cunt beginning to tighten around his fingers. You hold your breath before letting out little moans, building towards reaching your height.

“You want to cum on my fingers?

Your back is arching, whispering “yes, yes, yes, please” as your walls are tightening around him. He quickens the pace, making sure to hit that spot inside you over and over. Thighs around his face, he can feel your slick pooling in his mouth, and coating his chin once again. 

Your gummy walls are so tight around his thick fingers, he needs you to finish, watch you fully unravel below him. Sucking and licking at your clit, he’s pushing you towards the edge. 

“Eren-” his name is strangled coming out of you, and then your moaning, undulating your cunt against his mouth, riding out your orgasm. 

His jade eyes look up at you, watching as you pull your head up to look at him, before another wave of pleasure hits you and you have to arch your neck and look back up. He waits for you to come down, letting you fuck his face and fingers. Grinding against his stubble and tongue as you let out pitiful and beautiful moans. You’re so fucking wet, the sounds coming from between the two of you should be forbidden, as you release onto him. 

Finally he withdraws, using his forearm to wipe his face. He lies next to you, allowing you a moment as he draws little circles on your stomach. Eren has never quite looked at you in this light. Sure, you were pretty, and the two of you were obviously close. But now you’d walked a line that couldn’t be undone. You weren’t over your ex, and as okay as Eren was with what had happened between you, he didn’t want you to run. He’s overcome with thoughts, looking down to your chest and the heavy breaths you were taking. All he could pray was that you weren’t pretending he was someone else. 

But as Eren is getting caught up in his own mind, you’re twisting, hand reaching to his crotch, cock having been recaptured by his boxers. Palming him, you feel how big he really is for the first time. Fingers trace the edge of his pants and underwear, and he lifts his hips, allowing you to pull them down. Shit. His dick slapped back to his stomach, precum leaking from the top of his pink head. He was bigger than you’d imagined, because of course you’d imagined it a couple of times.

Your hand looks so small around his cock, but you slowly tease him, his deep green orbs following your movements. Bringing your head down to him, you kitten lick the precum from the top of his dick. He hisses gently, and you look up at him with these big doe eyes, so fucking eager to please.

You push your lips around him, hollowing your cheeks and flattening your tongue as you begin working along his shaft. He moans just at the sight of you, your eyes peeking up through dark lashes. His hand goes through your hair, eagerly pushing you deeper around him. 

He lets out a hoarse, “is this okay?” before you put your own hand on his pushing it for the both of you. You don’t even want to come up for air, you just want him close to you, inside you. 

You were learning far more about each other than you had expected, as Eren takes back over. He pushes himself further into you, muttering a good girl that has you whining. The vibrations around his cock make his hips buck, and now you’re gagging as his length hits the back of your throat. He holds you there instead of letting you off, and your nails are sharp against his thighs.

His head lolls back as he starts to move his hips under you, moving you in turn with your hair. He picks up the pace quickly, allowing saliva to drool from you and straight to his cock. 

Your eyes prick, big fat tears forming at the corners. But you’re enjoying this way too much, the moans and gasps he gives make you moan, pressing your thighs together for some kind of friction. 

He takes your jaw in his grasp, allowing you a moment to catch your breath. Your tongue sits out your mouth, him smacking the head of his dick on it. He notices your tears then, the mascara that’s running a little. He swipes at the corner of your eyes, leaning down to press a kiss into your forehead. 

Bringing you up to him, your dripping folds sliding across his length. His lips are on your cheeks, across your jaw, licking up your neck before reclaiming your plush lips once again. You continue grinding against one another, tongues slipping in and out of each other's mouths. Eventually Eren brings his hands to your hips, lifting you up as you hold his shaft up.

Your foreheads are pressed together as he slowly pushes inside you. The stretch is burning and all-consuming, eyes pricking up again as you feel him hit your furthest wall. Eren breathes out heavily, “So fucking tight”

You roll your hips, allowing some friction from him on your clit. It helps your muscles relax a little, and balancing your hands on his shoulders you push yourself up and down, using his length for your own pleasure. Eren’s eyes don’t leave your form, watching your breasts bounce and how your eyes flutter close as he fills you entirely.

“You really did want to be fucked, huh? Look at you” he teases you, watching as you go to talk back before he thrusts his hips up. It leaves the words caught in your throat.

His pace maintains, holding you in place as he fucks up into you, feeling your cunt clench around him. There are long moments where you hold your breath, holding his cock tight within you. Then you’ll release and moan, before holding it in again. Well, Eren is all too happy to help you with that. 

One hand grabbing the flesh of your hip, the other wrapping around your throat, he pushes into you at a punishing rate. Your eyes go wide at the sudden restriction of your throat, feeling the cold metal of his ring against your pulse. 

“Who knew this about you? That you were such a slut?”

As much as he knows you want to deny it, you want to smack the smugness from his voice, he can feel your pussy tighten around him. He sees your eyes roll back a little. 

“You’re getting tighter.” 

The hand on your hip moves down, attempting to hold you in place whilst letting his thumb press over your clit. The sounds of him slapping against your wetness is obscene, and he’s only distracted from it as you whimper out pathetic yes’s and please’s. 

“You wanna cum?” he’s grunting, trying to keep the pace going until you can reach your peak.

You nod against his wide hand, still tight around your neck. “Oh you can do better than that. I already know how bad you want it, slut.”

“Please Eren, please make me cum. I want to cum, please, please, please” you can barely make out the words, your head going light and body tightening.

“Cum for me.” 

You release, and as he can feel the fluttering of your walls around him, he lets go of your throat. The sudden oxygen as you cum leaves you overwhelmed. Burying yourself in his shoulder, he fucks you through it. Cock slapping up into your cunt over and over, somehow being sucked deeper in as you coat his length with more of your own slick. He can feel your nails breaking the flesh of his back as you’re holding on for dear life, moaning his name and even a fucking thank you into his ear.

As you begin to slow, legs shake as you stay straddled over him. He flips you, Eren now firmly on top, slowly moving in and out of you. The stimulation is intense, your cunt sparking at any sensation. 

Caged between his forearms, his hair is a mess thanks to you. You push tendrils back past his ears as he leans down to kiss you once again. This kiss is different. It feels… less desperate. It feels deep and meaningful, caring even.

Your eyes meet in acknowledgment, both of you too worried to speak about the shift in tone. 

He reaches down instead, pulling your leg up and splitting you on his cock. A tongue swipes at your nipple, biting and playing with each as he gradually picks up pace again. You’re still so fucking wet it’s easy for him to thrust into you at a dizzying pace. You can feel all of him against your gummy walls. Each time he passes that special spot inside you, you moan and gasp, and it’s the best sound he’s ever heard.

His thrusts were becoming more primal, holding your thighs close around his hips. Letting your sweaty bodies collide again and again, his balls slapping against you. The grunts and moans coming from his lips were so infuriatingly erotic. Eren just wanted one more from you, and then he’d let himself finish. If this was to be a drunken mistake, so be it, but he would at least make it memorable. 

Those jade eyes were on you once again, the power and dominance radiating from the immeasurable. He can see you barely being able to hold on, completely fucked out beneath him. You’re moaning and whining, hands moving over the swell of your breasts and playing with your nipples as if it’s going to keep you grounded. 

He sits up, eyes flicking down to where you were conjoined. It took so much restraint not to cum inside you right then and there. Your glistening sex was so tight around him, the wet slapping noises echo again and again. You’re pulling and sucking him in, cream pooling around his length. 

“Give me one more, y/n. I want to feel you cum on my cock.”  

You try to look up at him through heavy lids. Your friend Eren saying this is so taboo. The words he’s said tonight so far from normal for the both of you. You flutter around him, somehow your pussy still wants to be fucked, still wants to push you off the edge one more time. You can feel the coil inside your stomach tightening. 

Eyes rolling back, you can barely keep it together anymore. He’s pounding into you at a startling rate, fingers flicking over your clit again and again and again. 

“P - please, it’s s-so good.” 

Your breaths between words were quick, “you’re so big-”

“Yeah you like that? You like being so full of my cock? Such a pretty face you make when you’re all fucked out.” 

Holy shit.

Eren could tell how much words affected you, your back arching and legs pulling him somehow closer into you.

“Come on, baby. I wanna hear those moans.” he’s grunting, getting so fucking close to losing himself in your cunt. He knows what he wants to hear most though, “say my name. Tell me who’s treating you how you should be”

With that, you’re losing yourself around him again. Writing on the bed, gripping sheets in tightly balled fists. White light taking over your sight as you clench around Eren. This orgasm was the most intense, taking your body by surprise in its overstimulated state. You weren’t even making a noise, just holding on to the high for as long as possible. 

And then you shattered, whining and moaning, whispering his name over and over again. 

As you moved underneath him, Eren kept his punishing pace up until he watched you expel the last of your energy. Name forming on your lips over and over again he falters, releasing inside you. You can feel the stickiness inside you, the sensation of being filled up. Eren watches for a moment as he sees the white pearls forming around your stretched out pussy.

His chest is back on yours as he kisses your neck, shoulders, whatever skin he can. Thrusting back into you a couple of times, he finally pulls out. You feel his cum dripping out of you, but you’re too spent to do anything about it.

Eren lies next to you, both of your bodies attempting to regulate from that. 

“You okay?” 

He’s checking in, making sure he didn’t go too far with someone he genuinely cares for. 

You nod, turning to meet his stare. Giving him a drowsy smile, you’re not sure what comes next. But for now, you’re happy. Curling into his side, he puts an arm round you and lets you rest for a while. As he notices your breathing become deeper, he nestles into you, muttering something about clean up. 

Moving away from you, you can make out some noises of a tap, drawers opening and closing. In your sleepy state you feel him gently wiping at you, two glasses of water being put on the bedside table. Finally he makes his way back to you, and Eren notes how cute you look. Hot and completely fucked out, yes. But also gentle and at peace, allowing the heaviness of sleep taking over.

He rests behind you, wanting to be back in your warmth. He pulls you in closer, wrapping an arm around your waist. The fragrance of you takes over his nostrils, and he’s all too eager to move closer to your hair, pressing one last kiss at the nape of your neck. Whatever tomorrow brings, he hopes it’s not the last time he gets to be this close to you.

[crystaljellie]

Part two!! Finally...

Looking Out for You by Joy Again

"I guess I should stop looking out for you, like I always do. When will you start looking out for me too?" | Scott a lot in flower husbands or any other dynamic with people as he's very constantly making sure everyone is alright equipped and alive because he treasures his teammates. Not to say people don't look out for him but from his perspective it wouldn't be in a way where he thinks they care. Except for maybe Mean Gills with Martyn always protecting him

"Something about you just makes me feel guilty for liking you when you're with him, when you're with him" | THIS!! IS DOUBLE LIFE SCOTT! Because he still wants a misses Jimmy he wants to be with him but he can't because Jimmy has Tango now, and he doesn't hate Tango, he doesn't hate Tango by any means but he just feels so jealous

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Francis Forever by Mitski

This one is hard for me to explain with specific lyrics without going over things I've already covered, but the whole vibe for the song gives someone desperate to be loved, desperate to be noticed. And has Scott not tried so hard to be seen by the ones he loves? Tried to be that something for them?

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Easier by The Crane Wives

I WILL NOT SHUT UP ABOUT THIS SONG

"If you woke and I was gone from the house that we made our home, would it bend you break you over take your heart like it did my own" | Would Jimmy feel the same way Scott felt when Jimmy died. If Jimmy had lived instead would it crush and break him the way it did Scott? The way Scott saw him in every corner of that house and nothing felt right without him.

"And If I were someplace else would this be easier?" | If I was someone you couldn't see would you be able to learn to love me even from a distance? Is the vibe that gives me, oughhh, oughh, any time they are two close is a once beautiful time become sour

"I won't move but I can't stay here so what the hell am I supposed to do?" | In an, "I can't move on from you, from us" type way but Scott has to keep going forward even when he doesn't know how, because their lives are on the line

"And if I were someone else would this be easier" | In a 'Would you love me the way you loved Tango?' 'Could you love me the way you loved Tango?' 'If it were anyone else but me would you keep that love?'

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Feel Better by Penelope Scott

Adding lyrics does just feel like restating points but this song gives of Scott being a complete mess after third life, and in last life he's still picking up the pieces of being alone. OR!! him and Pearl in double life, Scott being a crumbled mess moving from last to double he had Pearl that trusted him and loved him and he fucked it all over by his choices in the following game.

"Of course I don't wanna feel better" | Because why would he deserve to after all he's done? Forget he's been hurt what about the people he hurt? (But him being hurt was important and worthy of attention too)

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October by The Crane wives

for obvious reasons lol... another flower husbands song. It's low-key frustrating though I think when people boil Scott down to just being Jimmy's husband and visa verse, which is why I also like to see this song as Scott talking to himself, and older version a younger version. Some version of him that would love him back

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I bet on Losing Dogs by Mitski

He is that losing dog.

"I know they're losing and i'll pay for my place" | Scott knows that winning can't be an option again, but he'll stand and watch as it happens watch him lose over and over. In the death games. In his relationships. In his sense of self.

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A terrible ride by Lizard boy original cast

This about Scott winning last life

"I used to be calm But now this ticking bomb is gonna go off" | Used to be able to think rationally about the games about winning, but can he do that now with all the pain in his chest after losing them again? Losing Pearl, Cleo. Having hit rock bottom due to the boogeyman curse

"I fought and fought hard And I could've died But I got scarred A terrible ride" | About him winning, he could have died, he did in the past. He won the game but what was the point when it was never even fun

"This game was not fun I thought it was right Because I won Was it worth the fight?"

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Bruno is Orange by Hop Along

Maybe so Scott and Jimmy and their experiences with the watchers throughout third life

"I think it's real unfair that you should put him there" | That the watcher should force that Canary curse on him, put him in a place where he always dies first.

"All we did is kiss, on my grave, I swear" | Scott’s only crime was loving him don’t punish Jimmy for something as pure as that

"And he whispered, "I think that they know better than me"" | The watchers and the players know better than Jimmy. He’s basically saying that he knows something is off that people aren’t telling him, and it makes Scott sick to his stomach he can't do anything about it

"Did you know that that boy is an armed man? Bearing flowers into hands. Very able to hold me down (And love me more than anyone" | Jimmy either watching third life after his death or the last life ending. Where he sees how aggressive Scott can be and how he is not that same person he thought he knew

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The Chattering Lack of Common Sense by ghost and pals

"At first, I'm not quite what I seem Everyday is just the same Picking names, repeating faces" | Covering up a mask for each different ally, making sure he's the most appealing to each. Half of the death games is a social games by his words

"Turn around about a new view Bring about the fear inside you Make a storm of tears and anger Nevermind, don't worry 'bout me" | Feels like Scott about to let out the truth of what he's feeling and what makes him as dangerous as he is before realising it's a line he's crossing, the watcher up above can't have him disobeying rules, not that he's ever been one for listening to them.

""Why not try to let go?" I've been feeling out of order I'm allowing change so... Take a good look, this is me" | Scott changing himself into someone else for Double life, not dropping is ideals and morals but, letting them shift, into a less caring version. Letting go.

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Partner in crime by Madilyn Mei

"Even my demons have their families" | The watchers in the game, For example Grian, even he has his own family, and people that care for him. Mumbo too, yes I am spreading my watcher Mumbo truth in a Scott analysis post

"I was never meant to win" | Never meant to win last life as the one hated most by the watchers

"I was never meant to win" | Never meant to win in the relationship that they had. He will always lose to Jimmy

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Noel's Lament from Ride the Cyclone

I can't even explain this with lyrics but just, are you telling me this isn't mean gills Scott coded? Because it is. It very much is

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Writing on the wall by Will Stetson

"Within every building made with pride, the architect lives on inside" | With this being, with ever winner crowned by the games their spirit and will, will shine through their victories, revered and envied

"You have to ignore them the echoing voices" | The voices of the watchers, the listeners. Neither on Scott's side, the world is fed up with him doing so well. Never meant to win.

"And the shadowy figures they're nothing but shadows like ink on a page they have nothing to say" | Scott is stronger than to give into them, nothing they can and will say will crumble him, at least not quite yet

"Within every building made with pride, the architect is trapped inside" | Trapped inside the memories of winning, the blood and crying and fear. All the bad things that will never truly end. Immortalised.

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And that's it! My laptop broke halfway through making this post which is why it took so long.

An Analysis of My Scott Playlist

Big long post as promised <33 roughly 40 songs

I've Had Enough by Melina KB

This song in the context of double life is very interesting to me, but I also like to see it in Scott talking to Jimmy (Sorry flower husbands truthers I love soft and kind flower husbands too but we have all seen what happened in limited life they do have some slight issues)

"Cause you miss the way I let you walk all over me" | Again could work in both contexts, Scott never really went out of his way to stop Pearl from doing what she does with the powdered snow, sure he did retaliate but you can tell at some point he just gets used to it. And then in the context of Jimmy I'm thinking very especially about limited life flower husbands and Scott giving up time for Jimmy.

"I'm done with shutting up I've learned a lot better" | Maybe in this of Scott thinking he's learnt to stand up for himself? And I say think because I'm talking about how he thought he was in the right in double life (None of them were) It's also funny because he has the confidence so strongly in double life where he makes his feelings known and then it's just like... 'Oh yeah you can kill me!!' And I know it's part of his whole making everything fair thing, but still

"Admit you did it we all know you did it" | We all know you're the one who left me when you went to the nether, tormented me, screwed me over repeatedly. Both Pearl and Scott do not understand each others perspectives of the situation and villanize the other for it.

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Washing Machine Heart by Mitski

"I know who you pretend I am" | Limited life Scott and Martyn, Martyn pretending he's serving his king again, Scott being alright with it because he knows Martyn is by his side for more than just that reason, and he's right Martyn is.

It's a pretty short analysis here but it's mainly I guess about Scott wanting allies and wanting to be loved by them but they always have someone else more important to them than he is

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The Moon Will Sign by the Crane Wives

"All those empty rooms" | Something about Scott being alone after Jimmy died in 3rd life, empty rooms with no noise to fill them

"We made our peace with weariness and let it be" | The weariness oof being forced into death games over and over, the blood brings chaos the familiarity of death brings peace

"I shine only with the light you gave me" | OKAY NOW HEAR ME OUT ON THIS ONE You might be saying "But Scott was the one who lived longer in that relationship and is literally seen as the stars" But have you ever considered Jimmy was the one everyone loved more, jimmy was the one to make strong alliances, Jimmy was the one there was fuss over when he died. Scott was only able to be strong because he had Jimmy by his side and without that 'light' he was simply a tool of vengence

"Instead you hoarded all thats left of me" | In the sense that Jimmy unknowingly kept Scott's ability to love another other than him, and all his courage and faith in the world. Not that Jimmy was doing it on purpose but it still happened anyways

"I want to feel the fire that you kept from me" | NOBODY TALK TO ME THIS IS 100% SCOTT TALKING ABOUT RANCHERS. I DON'T CARE IF YOU LIKE RANCHERS AND HATE FLOWER HUSBANDS OR WHATEVER BUT YOU CANNOT TELL ME THIS IS NOT SCOTT BEING BITTER THAT JIMMY GAVE MORE LOVE TO TANGO THAN HE EVER DID TO SCOTT. HE WANTED TO FEEL THAT FIRE OF A LOVE HE NEVER GOT TO KEEP

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Two Slow Dancers by Mitski

Another double life-coded song

Very much Scott and Pearl

"And We've both done it all a hundred times before" | More so in reference to last life, they've played the death game before they know how it goes

"it would be a hundred times, easier if we were young again" | If they were young and still filled with faith, if Scott hadn't won last life and learnt the pain of winning and become bitter in the season following

"We get a few years and then it want's us back" | Not necessarily a few years but more so like the gaps between the games, a bit of freedom and then the watchers want them all at each others throats

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Evelyn Evelyn by Evelyn Evelyn

Surprise surprise another Pearl and Scott one

"Why do we bother to stay? Why are you running away" | Scott and Pearl with their conflicting feelings at the start of double life, with Scott wondering why he should stay and Pearl not wanting him to leave her

"We grew up closer than most, closer than anything, closer than anything" | In either they grew up close in last life or their soulbound in double life, either way their fates are intertwined

"What if they find us? They're not looking anyways" and it's counter part line "I want to be famous, they're watching us anyways" | WATCHERS WATCHERS WATCHERS!! There's so much about this that just gives, hiding away from the watchers or giving into their whims

"At your side I feel like a ghost" | It can go either way in my mind, Pearl not feeling adequate enough to be seen and Scott feeling like she's killing him

"A parasite needs a host- I'm only trying to do what is best for us!" | because Pearl only wanted to help her soulmate, not that Scott didn't but he felt so betrayed and then it turned to a feeling of her leeching onto him

"You're always trying to be somebody else" | THIS!! Because Pearl wasn't acting like who she used to be and who Scott became friends with, she became 'somebody else' in an attempt to bring him back.

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Little Soldiers by the Crane Wives

"Beneath the table you would offer up my bones And all the dogs would lick your fingers" | As in how Jimmy does things at Scott’s expense to get people to trust him or to get time and hearts and such

"And I dragged you through every room inside our home" | Scott struggling to get Jimmy to do anything with him anymore and feeling like the effort he puts in is not enough

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November by Sparkbird

"Admit it, you were never going to get it I was always going to get it" | Can't explain why but this gives last life Scott killing Ren

"Maybe that's relevant somehow, can I explode now" | ....boom boom at the end of double life :3

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Allies or Enemies by The Crane Wives

"And I swear I didn't mean what I said" ...I live by the belief that Scott didn't actually mean to tell Pearl he was 'breaking up' with her, guys trust me it was the watchers. But also apart from that it could be anything

"Are we allies or enemies this will be the death of me" | Scott in secret life, not understanding what his teammates actually think of him

"All is fair in love and war but I can't fight with you anymore" | FLOWER HUSBANDS LIMITED LIFE GUYS!!

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Canary in a coal mine

CANARY IN A COAL MINE IS SCOTT’S SONG NOT JIMMY’S I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL

"Am I the only thing that keeps you safe when the light is gone?" | Scott being the only person to protect Jimmy in third life and protecting his memory even after he’s dead

"I’ll be worth more than all the silence left in my way" | The silence referring to how Jimmy doesn’t really interact or talk to Scott outside of third life, he is silent towards him, and Scott is hoping that he’ll be more than that to Jimmy if he tries hard enough

"I’ll sing you songs until the darkness does recede" | Scott calming Jimmy down when he needs it always being there to reassure him, keeping his hearts safe and him armoured in 3rd life

"Will you forget about your love for me?" | If Scott is no longer able to keep chasing after someone that won’t come back from him will that love that they once had in 3rd life be forgotten for good?

"And when you break the surface, oh, without me" | When Jimmy meets new people achieves new things and finally manages to break the curses all without Scott because no matter how much Scott tries Jimmy won’t let him help

"Please don’t return me to the dark of all the memories, yeah" | The dark actually being hope don’t give him any more hope that those memories could be recreated

"I will save you when your lights go out" | Scott is giving him time which continues to live being his breath, Scott’s love for him keeps him alive and that act of love is letting Jimmy kill him for time, saving him when he needs it most

This song is so so Scott coded most if not all the lyrics fit his perspective of things, the song is associated with Jimmy mainly because he is the Canary in the coal mine which sure fair enough but the lyrics themselves don’t fit his personality or his view of things, I guess some things could refer to how the winners and others have left him behind and he is weighed down by the curse but nothing else really fits him. 

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Misery Meat by Sodikken

"You want a taste of my brain? Okay, it's yours anyway, A bite of my eye alright I won't put up a fight" | Scott giving his time away and hearts away for other people with little complaint

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This is going to be part 1, and I will reblog this later with part two

[nachoscheesy]

Tumblr Revival

Tl;dr

Tumblr has a large interconnected community of artists and content creators, and should focus on its strengths and what it does right. Instead of trying to compete for space against Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. Tumblr should focus on empowering its community and giving that community the tools to develop the site's unparalleled uniqueness.

Tumblr is the crossroads of the internet, with a monthly user traffic of 300 million it is the perfect space for artists, content creators, and small businesses to grow their following without having to fight for a seat at the table against companies with huge budgets.

Hi, I go by Nacho here on tumblr, and I'm sure as many of us on tumblr have noticed, the (hell)site is kinda going downhill. Tumblr was bought by Automattic in fall of 2019, and I am sure they have the best intentions to help tumblr stay afloat. However, I think it's time the community took a more deliberate approach to how tumblr is handled, and hopefully Automattic and @staff will hear us out. I think I have a solid solution to tumblrs money issues, that will help both the site and empower its online communities.

First and foremost, I am not involved with Tumblr or Automattic. I am just a simple blog trying to help out a place that I've been on since 2010, and I would hate to see it die here around 2023.

So, let's get to the root of the problem on tumblr right now. That being money, tumblr is currently costing more money that it produces, as we've seen with its 97% drop in value from 1.1 billion dollar sale to being sold at around 3 million dollars.

So the first thing that must be improved before anything else can be improved on tumblr is how much money they're bringing in a month. I don't think folks on tumblr hate monetization as much as we all collectively say we do, I think the issue is that most advertisers are completely disconnected from the groups they are trying to advertise to on here. Tumblr comprises roughly 65% millennials and 30% gen-z, the two generations that advertisers seem to have the hardest time advertising to for a myriad of reasons. The main one being that they don't fully understand what we want, and sometimes just don't listen to what we are saying.

Lets look at how tumblr makes its money, Tumblr has four main revenue sources,

Ads by sponsored posts

Display ads through video posts

Sponsored Day ads or banner ads

“Premium Themes”

I'll go into depth on all of these and how tumblr could make potential changes to improve their revenue anywhere from three to six months after it implements some or ideally all of these changes.

First tumblr ads and sponsored posts, these changes are going to be contingent on tumblr allowing its users to share, like, and comment on ads much like all other media sites currently allow. Or at least giving advertisers the ability to turn that on or off as a function.

The average tumblr post gets reblogged 14 times, that number increases significantly if the ad is engaging and actually caters to the communities wants and needs. My reasoning for giving users the ability to reblog ads is to increase user engagement while maintaining their current ad vetting process and all of the nonsensical ads that are run on tumblr 90% of the time.

The other reason for allowing tumblr users to share and comment on ads, or have it be an option for advertisers to turn on or off as they'd like, is that the appeal of tumblr is the ability to propagate and obsess over the most niche things (i.e OSHA.)

All the while allowing content that gets shared all over the internet bubble up to the top through the collective hand of the tumblr community. Along with this tumblr has no way for small users to share their own products or services, every single major site has a way for users to advertise their pages or products through the site.

Tumblr is a content machine that creates imagery and memes that get shared all the time across the internet, so the ability to share and curate its own ads is paramount to improving advertising and user engagement on tumblr.

My proposal here is for tumblr to expand its advertising capabilities to all users, while charging a flat rate fee to advertise on tumblr, with additional charges for popular tags or trending tags. Tumblr currently has no self service advertising system much like Facebook does for example. Where facebook charges a daily rate on cost-per-click(CPC) or cost-per-thousand(CPM)

Charging a flat rate fee at a rate of a day, week, month, or quarterly basis with variances in prices based on the lease term and what the advertisers would want to have their ads show up on certain tags. This would open up the doors for small businesses that don't want to advertise on places like facebook, twitter, or google with their complicated CPM and CPC models. Also bringing in more small locally owned businesses with the added value of less competition for ad space on tumblr.

This would also take some of the weight from tumblrs own advertising staff from having to explain a convoluted system to potential advertisers. Creating a simplified model with the the advent of tumblrs own infrastructure able to get a single post to a large variety of users. Where the current ad model uses a “shotgun” method to hit as many people as possible, the tumblr model could encourage advertisers to curate a more personalized and intimate experience that tumblr users would love.

Why not just advertise elsewhere? Tumblr still in fact gets over 300 million views a month as of June 2021 (Statosta), and the added benefit for users to be able to like, share, and interact with ads would allow ads that the community enjoys to be talked about more. Giving advertisers more honest feedback about their ads while increasing their SEO’s.

Also small businesses that can't compete with the vetting processes that are used on other sites, would have a better chance of developing their business and increasing their clientele on tumblr whose core demographics are approximately 60% millennial and 35% gen-z. This core demographic does in fact care about being able to shop at local stores, or even a store across the US that is trying to drum up its own online sales.

These ads could be placed inline on the tumblr dash while moving other sponsored ads to the right of the site on desktop, but making them alternate on mobile between user ads and sponsored ads.

Second, the display ads should be changed to allow tumblr users to share and further interact with ads to generate more user engagement, incentivizing more businesses and companies to build their brand status on tumblr. Tumblr has a good model for creating short diaries or daily vlogs for companies that wish to show off their products on social media. This includes smaller businesses and vlogers that want to post videos or tutorials of themselves on their blog.

Tumblr is a good site for user engagement with a pool of creative potential for anyone wanting to gauge the desire for a particular subject or piece of media, maybe even an upcoming show. Having the ability to share and comment on sponsored ads would also help advertisers by allowing them to get more bang for their buck with a considerable uptick on how users engage with that content.

Third, tumblrs sponsor day ads and banner ads are inexpensive and should be highlighted as a selling point over their competitors. Tumblr 24-hour banner ads are considerably more affordable for businesses when compared to places like twitter with their 200k price point. For the same amount of money on tumblr a business could have their company at the top of the dashboard or app for 8 whole days. Much longer and much better than the competition.

Keeping this price fixed, with a change in the price CPC is still a much more lucrative and attractive selling point than any of the competition on the internet today. I know this might not be exactly what tumblr wants to hear when it is hemorrhaging money right now, but let's look at the cost for these 24 hour daily ads and banner ads. If tumblr hypes up the price point on these ads they could see a significant rise in advertisers considering the lack of competition on tumblr and past success stories of companies who did advertise on tumblr.

At the same time larger advertisers should be encouraged to make engaging ads and blogs on tumblr that will make people want to actually go to their blogs, that then link to an external site or page. Not ads that instantly try to force you to go to some other site, by rewarding or offering special discounts for people who find a special code or something off of the actual blog. Or even for giving the same code to everyone who reblogs a certain post made by the advertiser.

Seems too good to be true? Look at “Asos” back in 2015 when they held a shirt design competition on their tumblr blog. Where they had 900 submissions, four of which were picked, and were sold out of the user generated shirts in 10 hours.

This is not the only case however, but FX ran their own campaign for the show “Man Seeking Woman” where they saw a 2.8% increase in user engagement, 86% increase in their tumblr followers, and they actually saved money through advertising on tumblr.

All this leads me to believe that tumblr actually was and continues to be the best place for brands, small businesses, and artists to develop themselves through genuine user engagement.

Finally, the “premium themes” that are available on tumblr that allow for unparalleled customizations that you hardly find elsewhere on the internet anymore. Tumblrs ability to take a variety of media sources, as well as having an unparalleled level of customization, user interconnectivity, and a vibrant artistic scene shows that it is ripe with potential.

Tumblr could still use its post+ feature, but in the same way that Discord uses its subscription service. For cosmetic changes that can be added modularly to the site or individual blogs for an additional monthly fee. In conjunction with partnering with community artists to bring small cosmetic additions to individual blogs, while paying the content creator and tumblr taking a small portion of the profits over a certain amount.

To be completely honest this is probably the hardest portion of this entire pitch to make changes to in a shorter period of time, considering all the testing and “under the hood” changes that must be made. However, I think that implementing this as well as the other changes I have proposed will bring back more foot traffic to tumblr as well as increase its revenue and profitability.

In closing, I am simply working with whatever information I was able to find online and a good amount of time invested on my part to do this. I think tumblr has a ton of potential still to return as a force for good for the communities that exist and want a change from what the internet has become. Time and time again when any company or public entity dies it was because it did not change and refused to adapt and innovate, oftentimes not at the hands of the people working everyday to keep the site running. Instead at the hands of people who dont see the value in what has fallen in their laps.

If you agree and think this is something that can be done, please reblog this post and follow me for more updates. If I don't hear back or this does not gain any traction by the end of the year, then tumblr can go to its inevitable end. I will be here sinking with the ship.

@support @engineering @music @wip @changes @photomatt