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let-it-raines · 4 years ago

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I Hope We Never See October (5/?)

When his personal life and football career go up in flames, Killian Jones escapes England for America, finding seclusion in Martha’s Vineyard in order to hide from his demons. It’s a fresh start, or at the very least a paused moment in his life, and all he needs is a few months alone to allow his heart to heal. He doesn’t count on meeting Emma Swan.

Emma’s life depends on tourists who come to the island every summer. It’s how she makes her money working in restaurants and clubs across the vineyard, but every year, she cannot wait until autumn comes and her life returns to normal. She especially cannot wait for Killian Jones to leave.

Rating: Mature

ao3 : beginning | current

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-/-

Emma likes seafood.

She likes seafood, but she mostly eats like a ten-year-old boy. Apparently, there’s a little place near her house called Granny’s where she devours grilled cheese and onion rings like arteries aren’t a thing. It makes him laugh when she tells him because she eats how he’s always dreamed of eating. The only time he ever gets the chance is when he’s with his nieces and they convince him to get them food Elsa and Liam never let them get.

She also likes 80’s music, has been working at the Blue Dog for over half a decade, prefers her kickboxing classes to cycling ones, and her favorite color is blue.

That last one was a bit of a throwaway question, but he asked it anyway. Then, of course, he made sure to let her know that his eyes were blue. He got an eye roll and a ‘shut up’ for that before she started rolling her hips again. It was damn distracting, but he didn’t stop laughing at how frustrated she was that he wasted his one personal question a day on that.

One personal question a day.

It’s childish, but he thinks it works. It keeps the line between them defined. He knows what this is, has done it enough times before to not be blind to it. They’re both visitors in each other’s lives. They have expiration dates, and when there’s an expiration date, there’s no harm in spending time together.

There’s no commitment, so there’s no hurt.

He’s not an expert on Emma Swan, no matter how much she fascinates him, but he gets the feeling she’s avoiding relationships just as much as he is. There is a past hurt there, a damned painful one, and if anyone gets that, it’s him.

But he doesn’t ask about that in his one question a day. He asks for her favorite color and food and if she’d rather hike uphill for 10 miles or swim for 20.

For the record, she’d rather hike because she could sit down and eat along the way.

“Would you look at that?” Emma says as she runs her hands under the water of the sink at the bar. “You, sitting at this bar, again.”

He slices his salmon with his knife and grins. “I tried that Granny’s place, but the food had too much grease. Met a rather charming waitress, though.”

“Let me guess. Red streak in her hair, boobs on full display, argued with the owner the entire time?”

“How’d you know?”

“Because that’s Ruby, my best friend.”

“Is she now?” he asks, already knowing the answer.

“Is that your personal question of the day?”

“Nope,” he says, taking a bite of his food. “I’m saving that for a later time.”

“A later time,” Emma repeats, like she’s considering the words. She crosses her arms over her chest and leans back against the bar. “What makes you think you’re going to be seeing me at a later time? This isn’t enough for you?”

He looks around them and leans closer to her. “Too many clothes.”

Emma laughs, legitimately, and that feels surprisingly good. “I’m literally in a tank top and shorts. That’s about as dressed down as you can get.”

“I was talking about myself, actually. There are too many clothes on me, but it’s nice to know you think so highly of yourself.”

That gets him another laugh and a shake of her head, and he likes that too. He may have no real inclination to become overly attached to her, but he can at least admit to himself that he enjoys her company.

“Shut up.” Someone calls Emma’s name from across the restaurant, and she holds her arm up, putting up one finger. “I get off at The Oaks at eleven. I’ll drop by your place if I’m not too tired.”

“Why the hell are you working there so much?”

“I like the money. And, Jones, that counts as your personal question of the day. I’ll see you later...maybe.”

She grins and winks before walking away, and he swears she puts a little extra sway in her hips. Killian shakes his head as he feels his own smile tugging at the corner of his lips.

“What a bloody woman,” he whispers to himself before spearing another piece of his salmon.

-/-

“Right there,” she moans. “Like, seriously, right there. Don’t fucking change anything.”

Kilian smiles against her, but he’s quick to return to what he was doing. Emma’s legs tighten over his shoulders, her hands yank at the sheets, and as much as he is throbbing right now, it’s bloody glorious to have her like this. The filter is gone, so too are the reservations, and he gets a bit of satisfaction knowing this is him doing this to her.

His only skills aren’t on the football pitch after all.

He is definitely a bastard for thinking that right now, but he’s never claimed to be otherwise.

“Fuck,” Emma huffs after she comes down from her high. Her legs shiver over his shoulder, thighs tightening so all the sounds fade for a moment, but then her legs fall and all sounds come back in screaming color. “What did I do to deserve that so early in the morning?”

“It’s ten, love.”

“Yeah, that’s early on my day off.”

Killian laughs and kisses the inside of Emma’s thigh before making his way up her body, planting a final one underneath her collarbone before he collapses on his side of the bed and pulls the sheets above his waist.

“It’s not early for the rest of the world.” He smiles, which she doesn’t appreciate, and she sinks further into the bed, yanking the covers over her. He can still see her flushed cheeks and the slightest content smile on her face. “You should try it sometime. See the sunrise, dodge early morning joggers, eat breakfast at a normal time.”

“Trust me, I’m usually up early enough to want to drive into the early morning joggers while I have a Pop Tart hanging out of my mouth. My summer schedule is just...it’s different than usual.”

He has questions about that. It’s something she’s alluded to before, but he doesn’t know if she’ll count that as his question of a day.

He’s thirty-five years old, and he doesn’t know if he can ask the woman he’s sleeping with more than one question about her life. He knows he’s fucked up a lot, but this seems to be the culmination of several screw ups in his own life.

He doesn’t have time to dwell on that. Well, no, he has all the time in the world, but lately, the boredom has dissipated, the loneliness too.

Lately, he’s got a damn good distraction, and he’s not about to fuck that up.

Emma flips over on her side, her hair a wild, curly mess. She used his pool last night and didn’t wash her hair after. It’s made it even crazier than usual. He thinks he likes it. Makes her seem less reserved.

His phone rings on his bedside table, and he leans over to pick it up.

“Hello, darling.” Emma’s brow raises, but he ignores her. “How are you?”

“Good,” Elsa says. “We’re all good. The girls are in the garden right now, running around and getting all their energy out. I haven’t heard from you in a few days.”

“I’ve been...busy.”

Emma’s hand finds his thigh, and his leg jumps before steadying. She is not about to do what he thinks she’s about to do. Bloody hell.

“Busy?” Elsa asks, as Emma’s hand walks a little closer to his groin. “Doing what? Have you made friends?”

“Why do you always ask me that like I’m a child?”

“Because you’re basically my baby brother.” Killian laughs and then hisses as Emma’s hand wraps around him. She smirks, obviously satisfied with herself, and he knows she’s doing it for the reaction above anything else.

Tease.

He doesn’t mind.

Except this is a poor idea.

“I believe I’m actually older than you.”

“Semantics.”

He laughs again, and Emma’s hand starts working a little more. Fuck. He needs her to stop, and even though she’s doing delicious things to him, she is looking away, acting as bored as can be. And maybe she is, but then he sees one corner of her mouth tick up.

“Mum, is that Killian?” he hears Ally ask, echoed by a squeal from Sophia, who is obviously having the time of her life. There’s a bit of a shuffle, some muted voices, and then his niece’s voice comes through. “When are you coming home?”

“Hello, Ally,” he says, his voice going high when Emma moves her thumb. “How is one of my favorite nieces doing?”

Emma immediately stops and yanks her hand away, practically falling off the bed. She catches herself and kicks up, moving the comforter up and nearly pulling it off him.

“What the actual fuck?” she whispers hisses, slapping him.

He ignores her as Ally asks again when he’s coming home.

“At the end of September, sweetheart,” he promises. “I’ll come home, and then I am going to kiss you right on the cheek.”

“Ew,” she complains, and he can imagine her nose scrunching.

“I also might give you a present.”

“I like that better.”

“Good. I thought you would.” he watches Emma get up and pull a t-shirt out of a drawer. It’s an old Man. United shirt, and he pretends that doesn’t do a damn thing to him, especially since she was just working him up a minute ago. “Listen, Ally, darling, will you hand the phone to your mum? I - ”

“Sophia, that is my hat! Do not wear it!”

And then the line goes dead, and he wonders how long it’ll be before Elsa gets back to her phone and calls him back.

“You let me do that to you while you were on the phone with your niece?” Emma mumbles, pulling the shirt down then pulling her hair into a mess of a knot on the top of her head. He’s not sure if she’s annoyed or amused. “I hate you.”

“Technically, at first it was my sister-in-law,” he corrects, tapping his head.

“That doesn’t make it any better.” Emma gets back in the bed, pulling the comforter all the way up to her chin, and then she shuffles a little further into the bed before sitting up against the headboard and groaning into her hands. “I am mortified.”

“I did stop you when Ally took the phone,” he points out before pulling at the arm of her shirt. “Nice shirt.”

Killian stands from the bed and walks toward his bathroom, grabbing his briefs along the way. “It’s comfortable,” Emma says. “Is this the team you played for?”

Killian stops, the tile cool against his feet, and then keeps moving, leaving the door cracked as he gets half dressed and starts brushing his teeth. As good as it was a few minutes ago, the mood is gone.

Especially now.

How the hell does she know he used to play football? And how long has she known that? Is that why...no, that couldn’t be why, but he knows that’s why a lot of women have.

“A long time ago,” he says, spitting out toothpaste. “I was with Chelsea when I retired.”

“Is that another team?”

“Uh, yeah,” he laughs, continuing to brush his teeth but sticking his head out of his bathroom door. “You didn’t know that?”

Emma shrugs as she types on her phone. “I don’t know anything about soccer. I only know you played because Ruby internet stalked you a few weeks ago and showed me your Instagram. I literally thought you were just one of those adults who is really into his hobbies.”

Killian nearly lets out a sigh, but he stops himself and turns back around to the sink to spit again before rinsing his brush. He looks up at the mirror. His hair is disheveled, there are lines around his eyes and on his forehead, and his stubble is growing to the point where a beard is beginning to form. He’ll shave later.

So Emma doesn’t know anything about football then. Or him, for that matter. He’s not sure he entirely believes her, that she didn’t look up any more about him, and he doesn’t like that uncertainty. Usually, when he meets someone, they have the upper hand and know the surface layer of all the dirty details of his life.

They usually don’t care to find out the real stories. Not that most of them redeem him in any way.

“Not a hobby,” he says, taming his hair with his hands. “It was a damn good job.” He leaves the bathroom and leans against the doorframe. “You ever play?”

She laughs and puts her phone down. “No.”

“Not even as a kid? Come on. I hear every lass in America plays as a kid.”

“Is that your question of the day?”

Damn. “No.” Killian walks toward the bed and puts his hands on either side of Emma’s head on the headboard, leaning in close. He sees her chest rise, and he smirks. “My question is to ask you to stay in bed with me all day. What do you say, Swan?”

She sits up, and her lips lightly brush against his mouth when she talks. “You should have asked me about the soccer because I was already planning on staying here the entire day.”

“Really now?”

“If we can get crepes delivered from this place that’s, like, ten minutes from here.”

Killian kisses her, long and slow until there’s heat simmering low in his belly. “As you wish.”

-/-

Emma doesn’t come over every night. Nor does he go to her place. But it seems that way as July rolls by, full of hot days that seem to linger forever. Killian finds himself busy during the days. Emma usually has work early in the mornings, so if she’s staying over, she leaves before eight. He doesn’t know how she has time to breathe working at both the Tavern and The Oaks, but she makes it work. When she leaves, he gets up and uses the gym in the basement of the house, going through his tried and true routines before he laces up his trainers and either runs on the beach or on the sidewalks through his little area of the vineyard. He finds the sidewalks are better for his knees, so he tends to stick with that and leaves walking on the beach for his afternoon phone calls with Elsa and the girls or Ariel and Eric.

It’s a routine, one that changes during the day, but for the first time since he got here, he doesn’t hate every damn day. He doesn’t spend his time actively having to try not drink or thinking about Liam or football. He practically buys out a local bookstore and goes through the novels faster than he has in years. He visits different restaurants, museums, goes along with some tourist activities he finds online, and he explores any shop that strikes his fancy.

And while his routine changes, there is one constant: he eats a meal at the Blue Dog Tavern.

At first, he thought Emma would kick him out for it, but now, she often comes and sits with him for a few minutes or sends him a drink from her office. He always sits in Ashley’s section and lets her talk about her growing belly even if he knows little about pregnancy, and he spends at least an hour eating and watching all the people around him.

It’s a hell of a lot better than the twenty-four-hour diners with sticky floors and bad coffee.

Killian shoves his keys in his pocket and pushes open the door to the Blue Dog. Marina greets him, telling him to seat himself anywhere in Ashely’s section, so he goes to his favorite booth and settles down. He can’t see the television from it, so it’s the perfect spot to completely escape from the world with no risk of his past showing up right before his eyes.

He may be feeling better, may be able to have a drink or too at night without wanting to have five more, but he knows he’s possibly only one bad day from it all coming undone, the thread unraveling faster than he can wind it back up.

“Tea or coffee today, Killian?” Ashley asks, notepad in hand.

“Tea, I think, but not the blasted stuff you gave me last time.”

She laughs and writes down his drink order. “Do you know what you want to eat already or should I come back?”

He hands her the menu. “The daily special and a side salad.”

“Perfect. I’ll be back with that as soon as possible.”

“No need to rush,” he says, smiling. “Is - ”

“She’s filling out orders for next week, but I’ll let her know you’re here.”

Ashley winks before walking away, and Killian wonders what the hell everyone in this restaurant thinks of him and Emma. It must be peculiar, but if he’s picked up anything from Emma, it’s that she likely doesn’t share much about her personal life with her employees. She surely won’t tell him that he’s the man she’s sleeping with for the summer, but they might pick up on that on their own.

The food here is good, but it’s not every day good.

He’s finished his salad and half of his sandwich when she comes out from the back. Today, she’s already in the black dress she wears to The Oaks, and her hair is pushed back into a ponytail. She looks exhausted, and unfortunately, the reason has nothing to do with him.

“I only have a second to say hi,” she says, sliding into the booth and grabbing a roll from the basket, breaking off a piece and popping it into her mouth. “We are having an issue with our fish orders, and it’s an absolute nightmare.”

“That sounds like I won’t be ordering any fish this week.”

Emma takes another bite of her bread. “I wouldn’t if I were you. Do you want to come to my place tonight? I’m off at ten.”

“Sure.” He picks at the bread on his sandwich. “Though, the last time I was at your place, that damn crab pillow ended up in the bed, and I didn’t appreciate that.”

Her nose scrunches with her laugh. “I hate that thing too, but Ariel loves it.”

“You live in that house the entire year. Why don’t you redecorate it for your taste?”

Her shoulders tense, and she stops chewing before slowly starting again. He already knows this is going to be his personal question of the day. Sometimes she forgets about it and lets the conversation flow freely, but when he hits a nerve, she’s more on her guard.

He gets it. He can be the same way.

“Personal question,” she says, and he knows her better than he should. “And I’ve redone my bedroom and little bits in the kitchen and living room, but I don’t know. I guess I keep it how the Fishers have it because it’s their home. There are memories there, and I don’t want to take any of those away for when I do eventually get another place. It’s....it’s good to have a family home with memories.”

Killian arches his brow, but Emma looks away, picking at the roll again. He never really had a family home, not after his mum died and his dad became obsessed with using Killian’s football skills for his own fortune, but he likes that sentiment.

A family home with memories. Good ones. That would be the dream.

“What about you?” she asks, changing the subject before he can press further. “Aren’t you excited to get back to your place where all the stuff is yours? You’re living in a place that’s not your own, so I’m sure you’re ready to get back to your family.”

She doesn’t mean anything by it, but her words cut. He’s here because he lost the one person in his family who he was closest to, but he doesn’t want to talk about that, not now. This is supposed to be a good time. It isn’t supposed to be about dark histories.

“I’m enjoying my time here,” he answers honestly. “There’s this woman who is an absolute spitfire, and she’s been occupying most of my time. I’ve been, well, metaphorically tied up in bed too much to think of returning home.”

“Ha, ha,” she monotones with a roll of her eyes. “That’s not what I - ”

“Hi!”

They both turn, and Emma’s friend Mary Margaret is standing there, bouncing back and forth on her toes. “Hi, Marg,” Emma says. “You’re early.”

“I know. I got finished tutoring early, so I thought I’d drop by. I didn’t know you’d have...other company.”

“Nice to see you again,” Killian says, nodding at Mary Margaret.

“Yeah, nice to see you.” Mary Margaret seems hesitant, like she didn’t meet him weeks ago at dinner, and he wonders just how much she knows about his arrangement with Emma. From what he’s learned, they seem close, but he also knows Ruby is Emma’s more...accepting friend. “How are you?”

“I’m good, love. Just badgering Emma at work. I’m surprised she hasn’t kicked me out yet.”

“Annoy me a little too much, and I will.” Her ankle hooks with his under the table, and Killian bites his lip to keep from smiling too much. “So, what’s up, Marg? Why’d you want to drop by? Have you heard of this thing called phones?”

Mary Margaret chuckles before sliding into the booth next to Emma. Emma’s ankle unhooks from his, and he tucks his feet under the booth. “So, you know how David wants to have that big barbecue for all of our friends and neighbors?”

“Yeah, you guys do it every year because you’re insane.”

“Anyway,” she says, playfully rolling her eyes, “we were wondering if we could get the Blue Dog to cater some of the sides. I know you guys don’t cater, but we could pay extra. Please.”

“You do know there are restaurants who do cater who could handle this?”

“Yes, but we love the food here. Killian gets it, right?”

“Uh, yes,” he mumbles, not sure what he’s supposed to say. From Emma’s death glare, he knows he’s chosen incorrectly. Bloody hell. “I love it.”

“Exactly,” Mary Margaret says. “We’ll pay extra. Promise. In tips so the staff can get it instead of the owners.”

Emma sighs and sinks into the booth, crossing her arms over her chest. “I need to know the order at least two weeks ahead of time, and it’s going to take me some time to figure out how much you guys need to pay.”

“Ahhhh, perfect!” Mary Margaret hugs Emma before sliding out of the booth. “You’re the best! I can’t wait to call David! Oh, and Killian, you should come too. It’s on August 14th. We’d love to have you there.”

Killian scratches his ear and nods, flashing her a tight smile. He doesn’t think Emma would welcome him at a party full of her friends, so he doesn’t want to make her uncomfortable no matter how nice it might be to be in a large group of people.

“He’ll be there,” Emma says, surprising him, and he feels her toe tap his shin. “If he can make it, of course. You know, he has a very busy social calendar.”

“I wonder why that is, darling.” He winks, making Emma smile, and he taps his toes into hers right back. “I’ve heard you keep pretty busy as well.”

Emma’s mouth gapes before closing, and her green eyes widen, lashes nearly hitting against her brows. “Ass.”

“Well, I know you like - ”

“Okay.” Mary Margaret claps her hands together. “I’ve got to go. Emma, I’ll send you the menu after I talk to David tonight. And Killian, we really would love to have you there.”

“I’ll see,” he says as he fights to keep from smiling too widely. “May I recommend the cheddar bites for the menu. They’ll kill you, but you’ll enjoy it.”

“I have never once seen you get the cheddar bites,” Emma scoffs.

He leans over the table, pressing his chin in his hand and smirking the way he knows she likes. She tells him he’s obnoxious when he does it, but sometimes he can see past that hard shell exterior. “I’m full of surprises, darling.”

“That you are, Jones. That you are.”

-/-

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#I hope we never see october #cs fic #cs ff #cs fanfic #captain swan fic #captain swan ff #captain swan

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florrickandassociates · 4 years ago

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TGF Thoughts: 5x01- Previously on...

Welcome back!! I’m so excited to be writing one of these again. I think this hiatus has been the longest I’ve gone without new Diane Lockhart content in ten years, and it sure feels like it. A lot of important stuff has happened in the time since TGF season four ended (not concluded—ended). Most notably, CBS All Access became Paramount+ and suddenly started offering a lot of content I care about! I kid. 2020 was quite an eventful year, so I was curious how television’s most topical show was going to take it on. TGF is always forward-looking, but too much happened in 2020 to be ignored. And while I didn’t think TGF would have much to say about the pandemic, it seemed impossible to imagine a season five that pretended it never happened. Going into this premiere, I was expecting that they’d either skip COVID entirely or include very few references, but after seeing this episode, I feel like the writers took the only approach that made sense. And that is why they are the writers, and I'm just some girl on the internet who writes recaps.

Anyway, before I dive into the episode, I should also note that my pandemic boredom spurred me to actually pay $30 to watch this episode early as part of the virtual ATX Festival. Yes, I paid $30 on top of the money I spend every month on Paramount+ for this show. But I write tens of thousands of words about each TGF episode—are my priorities really that surprising? I note this not to brag or even to poke fun at myself, but because watching the episode before I knew a single thing about it (not even the title!) completely changed my viewing experience. I’ve never had an experience like this with TGW or TGF. I’m one to search for critics tweeting cryptically about screeners and refresh sites looking for background extras (haven’t done this in the TGF era, though) and read every single piece of press I can find. For any big episode, I usually know the outline of what to expect going in (I even knew about Will before the episode aired in the US!). Not this one! So, I got to be surprised, and I had to—gasp—formulate my own opinions before I knew what anyone else thought! It was really pleasant, actually. I think the structure of the episode worked extremely well for me because it caught me by surprise... and also because I’m the kind of person who somehow managed to write a college paper about Previously On sequences.

I see Tumblr has made it so that “keep reading” expands the post in your dash instead of opening a new tab. I absolutely hate this. Here is a link to the post you can click instead of the keep reading button!

The ATX stream started mid-sentence, meaning I missed the “Previously On... 2020...” title card and skipped right to Adrian saying “I’m retiring.” It was pretty easy to pick up on the device (the directness of the scenes at the start, their cadence, and their placement in the episode made it clear this was meant to mimic a Previously) but the second title card hit way harder because... well, I had no idea if this was meant to be 2020 or some moment outside of real time until a bit later in the episode.

Man, before I get any farther into this, two things that I don’t know where else to put. First, this episode had to cover so much ground. They had to write out both Adrian and Lucca—more on that later--, figure out how to deal with all of 2020, figure out how to either wrap up or continue all the truncated season 4 plotlines, and set the stage for a new season... in 50 minutes.

Second, just wanna shout out the Kings’ other Paramout+ show, Evil, which you should absolutely be watching even if you hate horror. Evil is a Kings show, so it is unsurprisingly topical (sometimes evil takes the form of racism or misogyny or Scott Rudin) and at times very, very funny. I would be recapping it if Paramount+ weren’t attacking me personally by airing it at the same time as TGF. Ever hear of too much of a good thing, people?! (On that note, I am VERY upset with myself for not having made a Good vs Evil joke about the Good shows and Evil. I didn’t even think about it until Robert King made the joke on Twitter, and it was right fucking there. How did I fail so miserably?!)

So STR Laurie, who wants a 20% downsizing, is still a thing. Noted.

This scene with Landau is the only one in this previously that is actually old footage, right?

Unexpected Margo Martindale! Yay! (Ruth Eastman is a character who is so much more effective on Fight than she was on Wife and I’m quite glad they’ve had her appear on Fight several times. It kind of redeems season seven. Kind of.)

I don’t think the writers intentionally chose for Adrian’s book deal to be with Simon & Schuster because it is the most politically fraught publisher (the number of stories about controversial memoirs they’ve picked up in 2021 alone...) but I kind of like that Adrian’s Road Not Taken involves S&S. My guess is they chose S&S because it is owned by ViacomCBS.

“Years ago, I wanted to create a law firm run entirely by women, but it never worked out. So, why not now?” Diane says to Liz. One of the advantages of having twelve (!!!) seasons of Diane Lockhart is that we’ve seen what she’s talking about. And we’ve seen her put this idea forward multiple times, too. I have my reservations about Diane’s brand of feminism, and I’ll say more about how fraught a Diane/Liz firm would be as the show explores the potential issues there, but on the surface I’m kind of excited about the prospect of a Diane/Liz led firm. Diane has wanted this for ages, Liz is a good partner, and this actually makes sense (unlike the nonsensical Diane/Alicia alliance of late season seven, where the only rationale was “well, Alicia needs to betray Diane in the finale, but they’re not on good terms. So maybe we make them business partners so then the betrayal stings more?”). Plus I fully love that Diane would end up running a firm with Alicia’s law school rival.

(Has TGF mentioned that Liz and Alicia were law school rivals? No. Am I still clinging on to that as a large part of Liz’s character? ABSOLUTELY.)

Julius is on trial for Memo 618 reasons; Diane is defending him. So this is still happening. (There’s more old footage here.)

Do they put these references to one/two party consent in these episodes as a wink at the fans? It has to be intentional. (Please do not ask me what the actual law is on this, this show has thoroughly confused me.)

I knew Cush was filming stuff for TGF, but I didn’t know it was for the premiere. She was just posting about it a few weeks ago, so either they shot a lot of it right before air or she posted a while after filming. Anyway, yay Lucca!

Bianca’s still around. And, TGF gets to shoot New York for New York, since Bianca is there. I do wish TGF could do more location shoots; there’s something about seeing an actual skyline that feels more real.

Bianca wants Lucca, who has never been outside of the country (except to St. Lucia, as Bianca reminds her) to go to London and buy her a resort. It’s supposed to be a three week stay and Bianca’s already arranged childcare. Speaking of children, because of COVID and filming constraints, that’s Cush’s real kid in this scene! You can’t really see him, but I recognized his curly hair from Cush’s Instagram, and the Kings confirmed in an interview.

Adrian wants to write a book about police brutality cases he’s worked on. Ruth very much does not want him to write that book. She wants him to write a book without substance about how white people and black people can work together. He, understandably, has no interest in writing this book. (Also, you can see in the background that Ruth doesn’t think Biden’s odds of winning the Democratic primary are good—there is a big down arrow next to his picture, which definitely dates this scene.)

Oh, David Lee is in this episode. He acts like an asshole towards Marissa when she’s trying to help him.

Marissa, not happy with the lack of respect, calls Lucca for advice “for a friend.” Lucca mentions she’s in London and Marissa does not believe her and keeps going on and on about her frustrations and her new desire to become a lawyer—quickly.

Marissa wanting to become a lawyer because she “hates being talked down to” is not a plot I would’ve expected but it’s also one that makes a lot of sense. I think Marissa’s used to being respected and praised even when she’s doing things that aren’t glamorous, so I see how she’d get very restless when she’s no longer outperforming expectations and is instead taken for granted.

Bells toll in the background on Lucca’s side and Marissa asks where she is. Lucca again notes she’s in London and Marissa still doesn’t believe her.

I’m going to miss Lucca so much, especially since we’ll also be losing a lot of the Millennial Friendship scenes with her. Cush is fantastic (even if she never really got enough to do here) and she plays so well off of the rest of the cast. I even sometimes liked the writing for Maia (who?) when she had scenes with Lucca, Lucca is that good.

Jay wakes up sweating and unable to breathe, so he deliriously calls his father-figure Adrian. This whole scene is shot like something out of Evil and (I’m getting ahead of myself here) this plot is the only thing about this episode I felt was a misstep.

“I think you’re my father,” Jay says to Adrian. Heh, I didn’t catch this line the first time around (maybe subliminally I did, since I just called Adrian his father figure lol) but I love that it is included here. Adrian and Jay’s relationship definitely deserves a goodbye.

Adrian calls an ambulance and also gets to Jay before the ambulance somehow. Adrian notes that Jay might have “this thing from China” and... we’re doing the pandemic, y’all. (Minor nitpick: on March 13th, 2020, when this scene is dated, COVID was not “this thing from China”-- we were all aware of it. March 11th was the day Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson announced they’d tested positive and the NBA shut down and travel was restricted and every single brand that had my email sent me a message about their plans and measures. March 12th was the last time I was in my office, and we’d been getting emails telling us to wash our hands and prepare to work remotely for weeks. I went to San Francisco in mid-late February and distinctly remember deciding to leave a burrito unattended on a table while I washed my hands because I was paranoid about COVID... and then I remember making a specific trip to Walgreens to buy hand sanitizer so that didn’t happen again. My point is, Adrian lives in the same world I do. On March 13th 2020, he would not be treating COVID like it was some new thing he’d vaguely heard of.)

(I am going to nitpick this timeline, but please know that I’m only doing it because I can, not because I think it’s necessarily a bad choice. Lines like this do feel a little forced, but I see the reason for introducing COVID as something new rather than going for the line that’s exactly historically accurate. I also am pretty sure there are references to dates in March/April in s4 of TGF that are now going to be contradicted by this episode, but I truly do not care. The writers get a pass on this one.)

We skip slightly back in time to the beginning of March after the MARCH 13TH title card, or maybe this is supposed to be after March 13th and my own memories are preventing me from believing these face-to-face interactions were happening. Who knows.

Michael Bloomberg is... here, again, I guess? He asks Diane to assist with a Supreme Court case about gun control. I guess it does add some weight to the plot and make the stakes feel higher.

Oh hey, this case is the 7x17 case!!!! Love that continuity.

Diane and Adrian are both at the office late, working, and there is an unnecessary split screen that feels even more unnecessary when you consider that the editing alone was enough to create the parallel.

Diane and Adrian have a nice convo (which I’ll really miss, their dynamic is great and this really feels like a successful partnership) as they wait for the elevator. When the elevator dings, they nearly tumble down into nothingness because... the elevator never came. Apparently this is a reference to an law old show I’ve never seen that killed off a character this way, and it’s meant to be a wink at how they are not going to kill off Adrian.

I do not know why I remember this, but I do: after they killed off Will, a critic (Noel Murray; I just googled to confirm my memory) who didn’t want to spoil things tweeted, “Exactly 23 years and 2 days ago, Rosalind Shays fell down an elevator shaft.” Please tell me why I remember this reference that I didn’t even understand well enough to have tracked down the original tweet in under a minute. (https://twitter.com/NoelMu/status/447942456827326464)

Back on this show, Diane and Adrian share a drink and talk about their wishes. Diane wants to argue in front of the Supreme Court, and Adrian encourages her to speak up. His own near-death experience motivates him to trash the book Ruth has him writing, and Diane trashes the (bad) legal strategy someone else prepared for the Supreme Court.

DIANE IS WEARING JEANS!!!!!! Tbh, I think my favorite part of this episode is how many slice-of-life scenes and settings we get. These are always my favorite moments. I love the satirical and political stuff too, but the character moments are what get me invested enough to write these. (Yes, Diane in jeans constitutes a character moment.)

Diane tells Bloomberg she wants to be involved and advocates for herself. Kurt gets a call on their landline (hahaha) from Adrian.

God, I love Diane and Kurt. Not only is their banter fun, you can just see a different, more relaxed side of Diane in these scenes. Diane tells Kurt she has good news for herself, but bad news for him since she’s arguing for gun control. She asks him to help her prep for court, too.

So this is before Jay is rushed to the hospital, because now we are back at the hospital with Julius, Diane, and Marissa. I do not believe any of these people would be setting foot in a hospital like it’s any other day on March 13th, 2020. But I'm trying not to nitpick.

I get why they chose to give Jay a rather severe case of COVID. I just don’t get literally anything else that follows from the initial shock of Jay having COVID.

I see why the writers chose March 20th (the actual Illinois stay at home order) as the next date for this timeline. I still do not believe that people were in this particular office on that date.

You know what else I don’t believe? That RBL just shut down for two weeks and was like, no work is being done. Did law firms really do this? I can believe it if it’s an excuse to cost-cut, and I know there were massive layoffs, but this seems... really weird???

Why are they setting up a teleconferencing infrastructure (didn’t they have one at LG? In season five?) if they are not planning to do work?

Lol Diane explains what Zoom is, very slowly. She asks everyone to “download a program called Zoom.com” which is one of the first Zoom jokes I’ve chuckled at in a while.

Marissa is not happy to hear that there’s no work for her in a work-remote world (this I believe 100%), so she calls Lucca again with more questions about law school.

Love these NYC and London location shots. Wish they could do that for Chicago.

Lucca asks Bianca to help get Marissa into a law school, fast, and Bianca tells Lucca to use her name... then offers her a job.

Marissa is at the office, alone, boxing up her things, when one of the office phones rings with some dude offering her a spot in a law school class. I guess we are really all-in on this! (Why would Lucca have given a firm phone number not specific to Marissa, though?)

Adrian and his corrupt girlfriend decide to shelter in place together. I still do not understand why he is okay with her being corrupt. I also don’t really understand why they’re going from talking about sheltering-in-place to George Floyd. How did we just skip from late March to late May? Are Adrian and corrupt gf having a conversation about sheltering-in-place two months into sheltering in place?

Okay, I am not doing so good at this no-nitpicking thing. Again, I understand why they need to merge several scenes into one to keep things moving. And I guess they could just be getting around to this conversation.

I’m going to nitpick again, I can’t help myself. How did we just go from a scene of Adrian specifically talking about sheltering in place to a scene of Adrian bursting into a bustling and maskless DNC headquarters room? How!? The only masks in this scene are on TV!! There are like ten people in this scene!

Anyway, more importantly, Adrian tells Ruth off and screams at her that she needs to listen to him instead of acting like she knows the way forward. He is completely right.

Why is travel from London closing down in May 2020? Is it because this scene is supposed to be at a different place in the episode? Liz is asking Lucca to come back home from her three week stay in London (which has now lasted three months but travel is just now closing down), and Lucca’s hesitant to come home.

This is all happening via Zoom, btw. Lucca’s in her hotel, Diane and Adrian are at their respective homes, and Liz is in the office. All of this feels right. There is a chat off to the side of the screen where you can see Adrian and the others discussing how to unmute on Zoom. Very real. Though probably not very real in late May 2020. Feels more like April. I am convinced this scene got spliced in later to help the episode flow because everything in this scene (except the TV footage that definitely was added later) feels like it should be happening in the March section.

Lucca mentions that Bianca offered her a job, and at this point we as viewers know how things are going to go—Lucca's going to end up taking it. Liz types in the Zoom chat that they don’t want to lose Lucca. When Lucca tells them how much Bianca’s offering ($500k/year, go Lucca!), Diane types “Shit.” into the chat. “Shit’s right,” Liz replies. “Yes... What should our counter be?” Diane replies. Lucca is kind enough to point out the messages are not private (again, this feels like March not May) but I think knowing that their reaction to topping $500k is “shit” tells her all she needs to know.

Diane’s background still says that RBL is a division of STR Laurie. Weird how little we are hearing about the overlords except the 20% staff cut.

Liz and Adrian chat and decide the only way to keep Lucca is to make her a partner. Which, yeah, if you’d just made her a partner years ago when you told her she was in the running for partner and then offered it to fucking MAIA, maybe she wouldn’t be considering Bianca’s offer. Lucca is definitely one of RBL’s stars, and I don’t think she’s wrong to feel like they don’t value her enough. They treat her well enough to be upset about losing her, but not well enough to have already made her partner and not well enough to actually give her authority (even though she runs a whole department). I’d be pretty unhappy too. It kind of feels sometimes like they take her for granted, and I don’t know that Lucca is one to feel like she owes a company anything. She’s more of an “I’m out for myself” type.

Madeline and the other partner we’ve seen a few times who isn’t Liz/Diane/Adrian, walk into the office (wearing masks! Which they take off as soon as they enter a room with Liz! Without asking her if she is okay with this! TV logic!) and ask who is replacing Adrian. They think this is a good time to reevaluate having a white name partner of an African American firm, and they are spot on. Liz tries to deflect, noting that Diane is already a name partner and was before Liz even joined, but Madeline and other partner (whose name I really wish they would say so I can stop calling him “other partner”) won’t let up. Their position is that Diane shouldn’t have been made a name partner then—all she did was bring in ChumHum, an account that quickly left the firm. Good point.

“What is this firm if it’s not African American? It’s just another midsized all-service Midwestern law firm, one of 50,” Madeline argues. The other partner says Liz needs to remove Diane and promote two African Americans to name partner. Liz laughs and asks if they mean themselves. Madeline does not—she's concerned about the number of black associates they’re letting go. Liz heads out, but this conversation is very much ongoing.

And I think it’s a very interesting dilemma! There’s a lot of mileage the writers can get out of this, because I don’t think there’s a right answer or a wrong one. It’s all about what Liz decides she wants the future of the firm to be. If Liz chooses Diane, she might be choosing something that works for her personally or that she thinks is a safer financial bet—but she’ll be choosing to work at a firm that can no longer be thought of as a black firm, and she’ll be choosing to move away from her father’s vision for the firm. And since the plot hinges on what Liz will decide rather than what’s objectively the right path forward, there’s a lot of interesting tension there I can’t wait to see.

(My favorite thing about Adrian leaving is that Liz will likely get more to do, especially when it comes to managing the firm. Adrian tends to speak up first, but Liz is more than capable of managing without him and I’m so excited to see what she does when her ex-husband isn’t constantly talking over her.)

Marissa and Lucca video chat with Jay. He’s still in the hospital. One thing that bugs me about how this episode handles COVID is that I never really get the sense that any of the characters are particularly afraid of the virus. Maybe none of them were. But you’d think you’d see a little of that fear, the weird dance of trying to assess others’ comfort levels with masking, etc., in an ep specifically about living through this time. ESPECIALLY since someone they all know and are close to has been hospitalized for MONTHS with this thing! It’s just so weird to go from a scene where people wear masks until they come in contact with other people (when masks matter the most) to a scene of someone in the hospital with COVID.

And now Jay’s weird hallucinations start as his battery dies on the video chat. I really, truly, hated these hallucinations. I was ready to be done with these from the second they started. They’re weirdly shot, they go on for too long, and they feel like the clunkiest parts of Mind’s Eye when Alicia starts having a debate in her mind about atheism mixed with the (far superior) hospital episode of Evil.

I don’t have much to say about these hallucinations except that I hated them a lot. When there’s the reveal that Jay is hallucinating a commerical, I almost came around on the hallucinations because that’s kind of funny and inspired. And then several more hallucinations popped up and they had a round table and Jesus got added to the mix and I was like, nope, this is bad in a very uninteresting way. I reject this.

I feel like the Kings didn’t have much to say about COVID, the actual virus. This episode is definitely more about what the characters’ lives were like during COVID and not the pandemic itself. I think they likely got a lot of their COVID commentary out of their system with their zombie COVID show The Bite (I have not seen The Bite due to it airing on Spectrum On Demand, which I have no way of accessing. Like, I would have to move and then decide to pay for cable in order to watch it.) I also suspect a lot of their commentary on COVID isn’t going to be specific to the virus and is instead going to be about things like mask-wearing and vaccinations becoming political. And, really, that’s just a new variation on talking about polarization... and they’ve been talking about polarization for years.

In fact, they even wrote a whole series about an outbreak of a (space-bug-spread) virus that caused political polarization before Trump was even elected. BrainDead is basically commentary on the pandemic before the pandemic even happened. Soooooo I get why they are more interested in recapping 2020 than in doing a Very Special Episode about themes they’ve been talking about for years. (I still think they would’ve benefitted from at least one character being afraid of getting sick or getting their family sick.)

There is likely some interesting content in these Jay hallucinations. I hate them so much I cannot find it. You know when you’re just on a completely different wavelength than the writers? This is an example of that.

Also I’m not a fan of the shadowy directing. I think this is meant to look cooler than it does.

Have I mentioned yet that I absolutely love the “Previously On” device for this episode? It’s such a fun, propulsive way to get through the slog of 2020. Scenes can be short and to the point, and each scene has to do a lot of lifting to fill in the gaps. I think that leads to scenes that are better constructed and telling on lots of levels—where are people when they’re quarantined? Who’s wearing casual clothes and when? What about this scene defines this character’s life at that moment in time?

Bizarrely, even though this episode is pretty much all plot (this happens! Then that!), I actually found this to be one of the most character-driven episodes TGF has ever done. There’s a lot of story, but most of that story is about how the characters reacted to 2020 rather than overarching plots that will weigh on the rest of the season. This episode covers a lot of ground, but it does it with character moments that resonate.

Now it’s July and Diane’s prepping to argue in front of the Supreme Court. Kurt’s helping her witness prep and it gets a little personal... and that ends up turning Diane on. Good to see McHart hasn’t lost its spark. (Remember how Kurt cheated on Diane in season 7 of Wife? No, me neither, because that never happened.)

Corrupt judge is back. Adrian playfully tries to distract her from work. Then he takes a video call from Liz, who updates him on the conversation she had with John (so that’s his name) and Madeline. I guess that part of May was close to July? Anyway, Adrian isn’t surprised to hear that people are upset at the prospect of Diane being one of two name partners.

Liz is at the office in workout clothes and I love it!

They’re losing 15 black associates (and Adrian and Lucca) and 4 white ones, Liz says. This sounds like a very big problem. (I’d be curious to know what that is as a percentage of the firm and how the racial composition shifts.)

Liz knows it’s not exactly up to her if Diane stays on as name partner (the other partners get a vote, but I think Liz knows she has a lot of sway here). She’s also wondering if Biden could win, and if so, would it be to the firm’s advantage to be black-owned? Interesting.

“Well. If you’re thinking it, then Diane’s thinking it, too,” Adrian says. He’s right. “White guilt. It runs verrrrry deep on that one, huh?” Ha. He is right about that, too. I actually can’t decide which of these interpretations is correct, because it could be either even though they seem contradictory. (1) Is Adrian saying it with a hint of mockery because he knows Diane will fight for her partnership even as she would say she’s a huge supporter of black businesses? (2) Is he saying it because he knows Diane would have enough white guilt to realize what her presence as a partner means and think through the implications? I think it is, somehow, a combination. I’m interested in this line because this whole dilemma (from Diane’s POV) is something that’s very familiar. Diane’s always been an idealist who will betray her ideals for personal gain. That sounds like an attack, but I mean that as neutrally as I possibly can. There are so many examples of this that this is kind of just a character trait of hers at this point. Usually those ideals are about feminism, but this situation seems closely related.

Adrian overhears Corrupt GF talking about Julius, Diane, and Memo 618. You would think she would wait to have this conversation until there is no chance of Adrian overhearing, because if Adrian overhears, he might...

... do exactly what he proceeds to do and hop into a car with Diane to give her a heads up. (I think I’m just going to have to accept that the mask usage rule on this episode is “we use masks to show that the characters would wear them, but we don’t want to have scenes where characters are fully masked because that’s annoying.” If that’s not the rule, then why else would Adrian be masked outside... and then take off his mask as soon as he gets into a confined indoor space with Diane?

Baranski looks ESPECIALLY like Taylor Swift in this scene.

Adrian tells Diane what he knows. He dug deeper after overhearing Charlotte, so he has even more info. “If you tell me, I will use it,” Diane warns. Adrian knows that, so he takes a moment to decide. And he decides that he cares more about Diane and Julius than about his relationship with a corrupt judge.

Diane and Julius are masked in court. Visitor and the judge are not. They use masking in a clever way in this scene: Diane uses being masked to her advantage because it means no one can possibly read her lips, so she can use the info Adrian fed her against Charlotte without any fear of spies. Charlotte, who is unmasked, guards her lips with a folder, as the Visitor watches interestedly.

Diane convinces Charlotte to recuse herself. Charlotte says she’s making a mistake; Diane does not care.

The new judge is, unfortunately, the idiot who doesn’t know anything about the law. Uh oh.

Charlotte decides she’s done sheltering in place with Adrian. He tries to talk through the conflict, but Charlotte says “You made your choice, Adrian. Julius Cain over me.”

“The choice was about right and wrong, Charlotte,” Adrian tries to explain. I mean, yeah, but if you’re dating a judge who has admitted she’s totally corrupt, didn’t right and wrong go out the window a while ago?

Adrian seems to think the other people involved in the events are bad and Charlotte is good. I am not convinced. I don’t think she’s the big bad, but I don’t think she’s good.

Charlotte points out that he invaded her privacy. She is right about that. “You said the choice was between right and wrong. Turning over my emails was the choice,” she said. I get her POV. But also, she is corrupt.

I do not like the way the part of the scene where Adrian physically restrains Charlotte to keep her from leaving is shot. I don’t think this is an abusive scene but I think it should’ve been shot from a little farther back so we could see it’s more like Adrian reaching out in desperation than trying to choke Charlotte. Because it very much looks like he is trying to choke Charlotte.

He tells Charlotte he loves her. She says it’s too late and leaves. “Maybe you won’t be with me. But you keep down this path... you’ll be done, I’m telling you, you’ll be done.”

I think something that I’ve been missing in these interactions is that I didn’t quite realize until this scene that the Adrian/Charlotte dynamic is more interesting than Adrian liking a corrupt judge. I think he truly believes Charlotte is a good person who got caught up in some bad stuff, and that she can bounce back from it. I’ve always seen Charlotte as someone who is corrupt for herself and then ended up going along with the corruption of others, too, so I’ve dismissed her and the relationship. This is the first scene that has felt real to me, and the first scene where she’s felt like more than a caricature. Kind of sad it’s the last she’ll get with Adrian—now I’m actually starting to find her interesting. Notice how in these last few sentences I’ve used her name instead of “Corrupt GF”!

Charlotte says she loved Adrian too, but that’s not enough. Awww.

He can’t really be surprised though, can he?

Now it is August and we get to see Diane and Liz react to the announcement of Kamala Harris as Biden’s VP pick, and I would like to thank the writers for giving me the opportunity to see Diane and Liz react to this. It’s kind of fan-service, but it’s also a nice tie-in to the girl-power theme of the Diane/Liz alliance.

Diane and Liz realize that Adrian’s probably not a good candidate for 2024 if the DNC only wants one black candidate and Harris is the clear front-runner. Liz suggests keeping him on as partner instead, in a way that very much implies this would be her ideal solution. Diane, being Diane, says she was liking the idea of an all-female firm. Liz hesitantly says she was too, and Diane senses the hesitation.

“Let’s look again at which associates to fire. I’m worried we’re losing too many African Americans,” Diane switches the subject. How have they still not made this decision? If any employees know downsizing is coming, and they’ve had months to act on it, assuming there are jobs elsewhere, people would’ve been jumping ship by now.

But that’s not the point of this scene. The point of this scene is that Liz corrects Diane: “Black. You can just say Black people.” Very nice moment underlining the tension. Diane means well, but she’s still acting like a white lady who doesn’t know how to act around black people... and she wants to (and, I guess, already does) run a black firm. Major yikes.

Marissa and Lucca are talking again. Marissa does not want to be in law school—she just wants to be a lawyer. Lucca won’t accept Marissa’s refusal to memorize meaningless rules: “Marissa. I know that you know how to play the game, but you have to pass the bar to get into a position to play the game.” Why does this line make me love Lucca? This line isn’t even anything amazing. It’s just a line that cuts through the bullshit and makes a good point.

Marissa keeps going, insulting all of her peers and teachers, and Lucca figures out how to cut through that, too: she tells Marissa that she’d hire her as a lawyer if she killed someone, but only if Marissa passes the bar. Marissa is instantly intrigued.

“Why are you leaving here? I’ll miss you,” Marissa says.

“Because they won’t pay me what I deserve,” Lucca says in a matter-of-fact tone. “Anyway, I thought they fired you.”

“But they didn’t mean it. It’s like the smoothie place—they kept trying to fire me and I just kept showing up,” Marissa replies. That checks out. (Love the callback!)

Lucca tries to get Marissa to come over to England. Marissa shuts that down as Lucca gets a news alert—and it’s not good news.

Our next date is September 18th, 2020 and I will get my nitpicks out of the way up front! I don’t really know why it is daytime for Lucca when she reads the news, considering it was already the evening in the States when the RBG news broke. And, also, it was Rosh Hashanah, so Marissa probably would not have been sitting in her bedroom studying... she most likely would’ve been with family or friends. OK I’M DONE. FOR NOW.

Diane is getting ready for her arguments in front of the Supreme Court. It’s almost time! She’s in casual clothes but has on a wonderful mask. She’s standing in front of Kurt’s guns to make a point (love that she’s using her video call background to her advantage) and there are several people in her bedroom getting the tech all set up. I have noted before that they only built one set for Diane’s apartment, and it’s just a massive bedroom. Diane choosing to be in front of the guns does a nice job of cutting off my question about why she’d be arguing in front of the Supreme Court from her bedroom rather than the home office she absolutely would have.

Kurt walks in and tries to shake hands... he’s clearly not very COVID paranoid, and Diane seems to be, and... that’s something I might have wanted to see? How was Diane okay with Kurt taking risks that also affected her?

Diane confirms she intentionally chose to stand in front of the guns. That’s when Kurt gets the push notification. He pulls Diane into the bathroom to show her the news. He hands her his phone and Diane’s face falls. She starts tearing up. “2020 just won’t let go,” she says, speaking for us all.

Normally I hate things that are like, we’re going to contrive this so the news hits at the worst possible moment! This works for me, because the Supreme Court plot for Diane feels more like something that exists to be a through line for the episode. It would also be a little hard to work in RBG’s death as a main plot point—and it is definitely important enough to be a main plotpoint—if it didn’t also affect something in the world of the show.

Also, another reason I like this contrivance is that it makes it all the more powerful when Diane says, “It’s over. He gets to nominate someone. Another Kavanaugh! We’ll have a conservative court for the next 20 years. My whole fucking life!” She’s not thinking about how this affects her case (and that case is basically a life-long dream for her). She is thinking about way bigger things, and knowing that her mind goes to the bigger things before the personal with news like this really underlines how big of a deal RBG’s death was.

Diane tells Kurt, “I don’t deserve you. You don’t agree with me.” “I can still feel bad for you,” he responds. He holds her while she cries.

Jay’s hallucination thing is back. Now Karl Marx is here. So is Jesus. I’m so done with this. It’s nice to get a break from writing.

Malcolm X is also on the roundtable and now they’re talking over each other in that way that everyone on this show always does. (RK gave an interview about Evil where he said he likes having the children on that show talk over each other because he grew up in a household like that. I did not need to read that interview to understand that RK likes scenes where people talk over each other.)

If anything happened in those hallucinations, I missed it, because I didn’t pause the episode. Because I do not care about the hallucinations. Because I hate them.

Now it’s November 2020... Diane’s watching election results and rocking back and forth. She tells Kurt he can go watch Fox News in the other room (so they do have more than one room!). He says he’s fine—he thinks Diane needs it more.

“Yes, but Kurt, if you stay, I know this isn’t sensible, but... Trump seems to get more votes whenever you’re sitting on this couch,” Diane tells him. Ha, I relate to this kind of superstition so hard. “Are you serious?” Kurt says. “I am so deathly serious,” Diane responds. “Whenever you’re sitting here, Arizona goes for Trump. Humor me, please. Just go in the other room.”

When Kurt tries to kiss her, she pulls away: “No, no, no. No kiss. If you kiss me, we’ll lose Georgia.” This scene feels so, so real and perfectly captures what it was like (at least for me, though I don’t have a Republican husband or anything) watching election results come in.

“Uh, if you lose, we’ll be fine, right?” Kurt asks. “Kurt, let me just say this. I’m only saying that we won’t be fine so that the universe will grant me a win,” Diane responds. This scene is so fun and so good! It simultaneously captures a relatable mood, adds some levity, gives us a window into Diane’s life, and shows some of the tensions in her marriage?! I want this all the time!

Kurt leaves the room. Diane pours more wine.

Later, with Diane still rocking back and forth with anxiety (just you wait for the several more days this will drag on!), Kurt brings in the champagne. “That was for when Hillary won. I can only drink it if Biden wins,” Diane protests. Did I also refuse to drink any celebratory alcohol until things were absolutely certain? No comment.

“It’s odd you progressives resisted religion. You seem to have a hundred religions to take its place,” Kurt says, speaking on behalf of the writers’ room. (This joke doesn’t get written if the writers don’t believe this and probably even see it in themselves.)

“Go away, Trump. I mean Kurt,” she shoos him away. Have I mentioned yet I love this scene?

“Love me even if you lose?” he jokes (though I do wonder if this isn’t that joking? I think it is, but he keeps saying it!) as Diane gestures at him to get out.

I could do without the joke about Diane’s heart on the TV for a couple reasons. One, it goes on too long. Two, I was very worried something would actually happen to Diane. You’d think that would make the scene feel more tense, but it does not, because it takes me out of the moment.

“Ok, God. You know I don’t believe in you. But I will believe in you if Joe Biden wins. I’m sorry. I know that that’s not what Jesus taught. There’s nothing in the New Testament that says, ‘Believe in me, and I’ll make sure your candidate wins,’ but I need Joe Biden to win. I’m sorry, God, but I just do. I need some faith.” This is a little much but... yeah. Also, is this the first time Diane’s flat out said she’s an atheist? I think it is, though I’ve assumed as much for quite a while.

The next day in court, masks are no longer required if you’re a series regular and votes are still being counted. I remember those days. Marissa thought Diane was checking in on Jay... Diane was not. She was checking on vote counts.

Apparently Jay’s finally being released from the hospital!

Bad news for Julius—the idiot judge finds him guilty of some nonsense charge and sentences him to seven years in prison.

Diane says not to worry, and Julius asks “Why not?” Good point.

Then we have election results! We skip, specifically, to December 14th and the electoral college vote. I’m a little sad we skipped over the huge party that was November 7th, but I get why they’d rather keep things moving along. I think showing November 7th in an uncomplicated way would’ve just been too close to fanservice. But, man, what a day.

Diane, in a red hoodie with leopard print that she somehow manages to still look classy in, is ready to pop champagne. Then she hears that on January 6th, a joint session of Congress will count the electoral votes and there might be a debate. “Nope. If I open it now, something bad will happen,” she reasons. “I’ve waited four years. I can wait another few weeks.”

It’s been almost a year and they’re still somehow negotiating with Lucca, but I understand why they’d space this out across the episode. Otherwise we’d have to say goodbye to Lucca in the first like, 15 mins of the episode and all those scenes would be in a row. I can forgive (and still nitpick) choices like this when the reasoning behind them seems sound.

Adrian says they don’t want to lose Lucca. He, Liz, and Diane are all in the conference room, and they ask Lucca for a yes or no on their latest offer by the end of the call. Diane offers Lucca partner—she'll be the youngest partner in the firm’s history—and she’ll get a $500,000/year salary. Adrian tries to sell her on being part of American history by being part of the firm.

“We are a black firm, Lucca, and we need you,” Liz says with a lot of passion for someone who knows she might very well partner with Diane. Diane looks at Liz with a bit of suspicion at this, wondering if Liz is showing her cards.

Lucca manages to make the wifi malfunction (or she gets very lucky) and uses the disconnection to call Bianca for a counteroffer, even though they said they needed a yes or no on the spot.

“They used George Floyd because they want you for less. They have never appreciated you as much as I do. All those scars, all that time being taken for granted and undervalued has made you a fighter. It’s made you someone I now want,” Bianca tells Lucca. She gives Lucca a counter offer of $1.3 million and the title of CFO. Lucca takes it. Is there really another choice? (If she were concerned about loyalty to the firm and the partnership was what she wanted, she probably would've just taken it.)

(Also, the partners can’t really act like Lucca is making history by being the youngest partner ever when they passed her over for partner two years earlier and offered it to Maia! To MAIA! Who had like three years of work experience! And yes I was fine with Alicia and Cary getting partnership offers with four years but, one, that was a scam, and two, Alicia and Cary actually worked. Oh, I see I still hate Maia with a passion. Back to THIS season...)

Lucca apologetically informs Marissa she’s leaving and the offer was just too good to turn down. I believe it. I also believe Lucca wants that job more. What has loyalty to RBL gotten her? She's someone so talented and good at her job that she just gets job offers from acquaintances all the time (starting with Alicia!). RBL appreciates her, but just enough to appease her while still undervaluing her. I don’t know that I would’ve believed a plot where Lucca actively job hunts, but I definitely believe this.

“Marissa, we don’t have to work together to be friends,” Lucca tells Marissa. I’m going to miss this so much. Why is this the best material Lucca’s gotten in ages?! I think one of the things that makes Lucca such a great character is that you can see why everyone instantly wants her on their team. She’s a fantastic friend (without giving too much of herself), she’s not a pushover, and she is incredibly sharp and able to get to the heart of any situation. I love her and I’m sad we won’t get to see more of her.

(On that bit about friendship—I can’t write about Lucca’s departure without writing about the moment I realized just how great of a character Lucca was. It was in 7x13, when Alicia has her breakdown that’s seven seasons in the making... and Lucca supports her. But the writing, and Cush’s performance, never make it feel like Lucca exists to be a part of Alicia’s story. Lucca seems like her own fully formed person who happens to be supporting Alicia at this moment. I don’t think I can overstate how tough of a task it is to get me to care about the other person in a pivotal Alicia scene, especially when that other person was added to the cast in the final season and many suspected she’d just be a replacement for a different beloved character! Anyway, Lucca’s been great for years, and I’ll miss her.)

Just when I thought I couldn’t hate the hallucinations more, we get a hint that they are going to continue: Jay sees one right after he learns that Marissa’s used her quarantine to start law school and he’s done nothing.

Jay says he carries a gun now and it’s “performative.” I have no idea what that means and Marissa and Lucca don’t seem to, either.

Another thing I like about Lucca’s final scene is that it isn’t rushed. We have time for all that, and also for Lucca to tell Marissa about the time she stole her breakfast sandwich, and for Marissa to react to it, and for Marissa to find Lucca’s Birkin bag, and for Lucca to tell Marissa to keep it, and for Marissa to react to that, and for Lucca to sappily say “think of me when you use it,” and for Marissa to nonsensically reply, “you think of me when I use it,” and there’s still a little bit more of the scene after that!

Marissa’s silly line makes Lucca tear up. “God, I’m gonna miss you guys,” she says. “I’m gonna miss this. You make me smile. I didn’t smile much before you guys.” Awwwwwww. This is also so true to character! Her friendship with Alicia aside, Lucca’s definitely said before she’s not one to have friends (which is hilarious because she is, as I've said like 100 times, a fantastic friend and also just like, the coolest person??? Who wouldn’t want to be HER friend?!).

She says she has to go because she’s getting too emotional and says goodbye. She’s also super sappy and when Marissa says, “you were the best,” she responds that they were the best TOGETHER! Awwwwwww.

What a nice, fitting goodbye for Lucca. There’s no bad blood or fireworks—she just makes a change like a lot of people do. I’d like to think she’ll still be friends with Marissa and Jay after this. I don’t want too many Lucca references in future episodes, but I would really like it if we see Marissa and Jay update each other on the latest from Lucca, or if a scene begins with Marissa closing out an Instagram post from Lucca of her kid, or something. I wouldn’t want clues about what Lucca’s up to, but I’d love to see that she’s still a part of Marissa and Jay’s lives.

Now it is January 6th. Liz, Adrian, and Diane sit on the floor of the mostly empty office, watching TV coverage and drinking. It’s so relaxed it’s almost surreal, and it, like many other moments in this episode, feels like a slice of life. Everyone’s dressed casually and no one is worried about appearances or looking like the boss.

“God, have you ever seen anything like it. It’s so fucked,” Diane says. Adrian’s more optimistic—the courts rejected most of the challenges to election results! “System worked,” he says. “Yay.” Liz says in response. She’s not as optimistic as he is.

“Liz. Liz. Sometimes when things work out, there is no parade. There’s no congratulations, but I’ll tell you this: We live to fight another day,” he explains to her even though she makes a good point that a system just barely hanging on doesn’t bode well for the future. (She doesn’t say all this, but that’s a very loaded, “Yay.”)

“Yeah? Then why are you leaving the law?” Liz asks. Diane seconds to the question.

Adrian announces he’s still retiring—and he’s moving to Atlanta. He wants to go to the south to help “create and consolidate political power.” He’s excited to start over and inspired by Georgia going blue. This is a very nice exit for Adrian. I fully believe that he’s interested in political organizing, that he’d be good at it, and that he’s ready for a change. I don’t think he’s always the most progressive person (of the three in this scene, Liz is absolutely the most progressive one, though Diane probably thinks she is!), but I absolutely think he thinks of himself as an activist and I believe that if he’s going to step away from the law, he’d do so to make a move like this.

Adrian—and Lucca, but especially Adrian—probably both got better exits thanks to the events of 2020. If Adrian had just left to be groomed by the DNC, that would’ve been a predictable and boring ending for him. His candidacy would, obviously, go nowhere, and the whole thing felt weird from the minute it was introduced. But this? Adrian being energized—like so many others were—by the ways the world changed in 2020 and using his already announced departure from the firm and recent breakup as a chance to start over and make change? This is great!

Adrian asks Liz and Diane what’s next for them. Liz says that she thinks the Biden admin will be better for black businesses. Adrian asks if they’re replacing him, and Diane says, “I think the big question is, are you replacing me?” She’s smart. I like how this scene goes from friendly to tense very fast, with everyone kind of testing the waters. Adrian tries to force the conversation, Liz opens with something vague yet pointed, and Diane speaks what’s previously been unspoken.

Liz says it’s not her intention to push Diane out. “I can’t change the color of my skin,” Diane replies. “I know,” Liz laughs. Audra’s delivery is fantastic on that line.

“Hey, I’m gonna fight for my partnership,” Diane says. “I know,” Liz says. The tone of this scene is so different from previous partnership drama on these shows and I’m excited about it. This is just a bunch of adults talking about business decisions with each other and treating each other as equals?? It's not backstabbing?? Or drama?? No one is hiding things?? It’s refreshing and I hope this plot stays like this. We’ve done so much partnership drama that I think drama that stems from a real, pressing question that has no easy answers and isn’t anyone’s fault is going to be much more fruitful for the show.

Adrian heads out—ah, I see now this scene is set in his empty office and this is why they are on the floor—and gets a nice last moment with Diane. And then they give him a last moment with Liz, which I knew they would but was still glad to see.

Liz asks if he knows what he’s doing—he says he’s not sure.

Adrian asks if Liz knows where she stands regarding Diane. “It’s going to be interesting,” Liz says. I don’t think she’s decided what she’s going to do yet.

It wouldn’t be an Adrian and Liz scene if Adrian didn’t have some unsolicited advice. “Diane’s a terrific lawyer, but this firm belongs to you. Your dad built it. He did, Liz. Despite all his faults. You got to run this place the way you want. This is a black firm. And after today, the world needs black firms. You got me?” He tells Liz. He makes it seem like Liz gets the choice and then tells her what to do. She says, “I got it,” signaling she understood him but not that she necessarily agrees.

I cannot wait to see what Liz does next!!!!!!! About this but just in general!!!!! Without Adrian there giving her constant advice I feel like she can grow so much and the show will have to give her more to do!!! I think Adrian, for all his many wonderful qualities and all he brought to the show, can suck all the air out of a room with his charisma, and Liz usually ends up suffering as a result. She’s such a capable lawyer in her own right, but Adrian has a way of making it always seem like he’s right—even in arguments she wins. I’m excited to see Liz lead (or stumble at leadership; she is fairly new to management) without Adrian’s direct influence.

Liz walks Adrian out and it’s cute. They run into Marissa and Jay. “Everybody fun is leaving,” Marissa notes. Liz is minorly offended, but playfully. Heh.

Adrian asks Jay how he’s doing; Jay says he’s a long-hauler but he’s doing okay. I like that they included that moment in Adrian’s goodbye sequence. It’s a very little thing, but it underlines that Adrian cares about Jay.

Then Liz interrupts to note that Trump pardoned a lot of convicted and corrupt Republican officials....... including Julius.

Everyone celebrates, but especially Diane and Marissa. Diane lets out her wonderful laugh and then we, finally, get to the credits. Because now that the previouslies are over, it’s time for the real show.

The credits are absolutely delightful, btw. I was a little worried some of the kittens would blow up, though! Once I relaxed and realized what they were up to—literal puppies and kittens because Biden won—I couldn’t get enough of these credits. They work so well because they accurately capture the way I (and all of these characters, except maybe Julius and Kurt) feel about the election results, but it’s so exaggerated that you know the kittens and puppies aren’t a realistic representation of our new reality. They’re just too good to be true, but you may as well enjoy them for a minute. I’m sure we’ll be back to exploding vases next week.

What a great episode! My timeline nitpicks and whatever they’re trying to do with Jay aside, I was blown away by how well the writers managed to move on from season 4, tie up loose ends, and write out two main characters. And they did it all while making me revisit the events of 2020, a year I don’t think many of us want to spend much time thinking about! This episode was enjoyable, fun, emotional, and clever. I don’t know what to expect from the rest of the season, but I’m definitely excited about the show in a way I haven’t really been in quite some time.

This season’s naming convention seems to be titles that end with ... and only have the first word capitalized. I want to see more.

Season FIVE? There have already been as many TGF seasons as there were TGW seasons prior to Hitting the Fan?! Time flies.

Please writers: No topical episodes this year-- no pee tape, no Melania divorce, no Epstein. None of that business.

Sorry if I repeated myself here. I never proofread these things, and I wrote half of this on Saturday and half of it today (Wednesday) and the days in between were an absolute blur so I cannot remember if I said the same things about this episode twice.

#the good fight #tgfthoughts

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pondermoniums · 4 years ago

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A Rant Nobody Asked for About Stranger Things season 3.

feat. my personal pet peeves.

Disclaimer: when I first watched Stranger Things 3, I massively enjoyed it. I thought it finally captured the 80s aesthetic and vibe with the colors, the neon, and music. I even enjoyed it the SECOND time I watched it, although I was officially aware of some major flaws by that point.

1. The Coca Cola flex.

CocaCola has been all over this show ever since Tommy handed Steve one as a makeshift ice pack after his fight with Jonathan in s1. And then by season 3 it’s just....obnoxious???? And so unnecessary??? Karen Wheeler’s drinking one by the pool in episode one. Billy knocks into someone during his first day being flayed, and a coke rolls over the concrete.

LUCAS DOES AN ENTIRE MONOLOGUE ABOUT NEW COKE.

I mean, Jesus, we get it. CocaCola basically owns Georgia, where a lot of American TV shows are filmed.....but......you’re literally CocaCola. This kind of flex is entirely unnecessary and therefore pathetic.

2. Karen and Billy

Okay, listen. I thought their interaction in season 2 was H I L A R I O U S. But I’m someone who has looked 21 since I was 14, thanks to being an early bloomer. I get it. The cocky prowess of looking older than your peers. Getting to look adults in the eye and get that tiny bit of respect with nothing more than just looking like they do. And, as a writer, the contrast between thirsty, older Karen with young and equally thirsty Billy is an odd pair of puzzle pieces that fit really hilariously - largely because it’s so unexpected, maybe. And frankly, I think it’s one of the first scenes where Dacre’s acting really made my eyes fall out of my head, he did so well.

But it should have ended there.

I’ve been to a LOT of public pools in my day (I’m 26 but hush), and I have NEVER seen older women thirsting over the lifeguards. Ever. It’s predatory - an attribute most women understand all too well - unprofessional, and just downright gross. Their whole interaction in s3 is for “the male lens,” which Hollywood really needs to figure out by now is outdated, predatory, disgusting, and not good writing.

3. Glossing over Billy Chugging Chemicals

Bouncing off of #2, is Karen’s total negligence of Billy’s condition. Many people have pointed it out before, but a row of mothers being completely ???? about Billy’s condition is a raging red flag of bad writing.

(Also that it was written by men, because women are hard-wired to be super aware of other women - a tactic of living on guard in a man’s world all the damn time. So you can always count on a mother, grandmother, or a brave teen/20-something to be the one to walk up to a person who doesn’t look well in order to check on them, even if you’re complete strangers. It’s happened to me, and I’ve done this for other people.)

These women literally stare at him for every shift of work he has, and they.....don’t do anything????

Karen WALKS IN ON HIM DRINKING CHLORINE. It actually took me the second watch-through to realize what he was doing in that storage room, and god, my heart just broke. It’s the only time we actually see a glimpse of Billy making himself flayed like the others. It’s so fleeting (maybe because we already get so much pain from his plot, and we do see what happens with the other flayed people) but it’s also one of the reasons, I think, that we have a whole fanbase ready and eager for his return.

We didn’t get a good glimpse of him poisoning himself to the point that he has to rely on the MindFlayer to stay alive. I’m not saying any of us want that, no way, but that’s my personal headcanon: in s2, Will was super protected and therefore capable of being separated from the Flayer. All of the Flayed IMMEDIATELY low-key drowned themselves in ice water to lower their temperature, and then chugged chemicals. They all die twice.

4. Billy. Just......Billy.

This poor boy’s plot was so pointless. It’s a special thing: creating such a good character and then doing fuck-all with him. The moment you realize his only purpose in season 2 was an introduction is....the beginning of a lot of disappointment. And no, he DIDN’T serve as an antagonist for Steve, because what happened? He slowed Steve down.

That’s it.

He doesn’t keep Steve from helping the kids in the tunnels. He doesn’t break him and Nancy up. He doesn’t gloriously out Steve’s bisexuality to the town by being his shameless lover.

He literally does nothing except just......be there? Looking gorgeous and providing a juxtaposing characterization for Max. That’s all. Billy’s treated like an accessory.

Then we arrive to season 3 and....I guess the only justification for his plot is sort of classic Greek tragic hero. He’s the new Keg King whose hubris makes him stand too long outside the warehouse, and thus, his downfall.

But here’s what’s wrong with that: Steve Harrington.

We were so spoiled with good writing for Steve. Steve had an incredibly refreshing and valid character AND redemption arc. Frankly, all the good writing goes to Steve in this show, so we expected the same writing to go to the other douche bag king of the show.

And we didn’t get it.

5. 80s Bullshit vs. Modern Audience

You can tell they’re trying to straddle the line between, “this is how people talked back then,” and, “this pertains to a modern audience.”

Example: Mike saying to Will, “It’s not my fault you don’t like girls.”

I know they did multiple takes of this scene with different variations of this line, and that’s the one the editors settled with. Regardless, I know I am not the only person who screeched with rainbow pride for Will’s sake. And it’s not the first time they’ve touched on very hot modern topics. Hopper touches on homophobia in season 1 - a fact I completely missed until I read an interview where the actor, David Harbor, mentions it, himself. Then I rewatched season 1 and realized, sure enough, he reacts poorly when Joyce tells him that Lonnie calls Will a f*g. It’s not even fatherly, “that should be my son, how dare he.” It’s straight up, “this kid might not be worth finding if he’s gay.”

Of course there’s the more obvious occasions where Steve calls Jonathan a queer and Neil Hargrove should come with his own neon trigger sign. Slut is a term that’s carelessly thrown around (as high schoolers are wont to do, sure).

But the thing that’s bothered me the most is Steve saying to Billy, “Were you dropped too much on your head as a child, or what?”

Maybe it’s just me being extremely sensitive to mental health stuff (also, WHY does Steve ironically get all the triggering lines? lol), plus he says it very soon after we finally know why Billy behaves the way he does. Just.....*long sigh*. I hurt, okay. Some parts of this show really hurt, and I don’t like “it was the 80s” as an excuse.

6. Lucas and Kali or, the Diversity Check Marks

One black kid. One. Then they gave him a sister. Cool. Somebody give these people BLM awards.

*eyes roll so hard my cat chases them across the floor*

You know what this reminds me of? The East Asian actor who trended in movies like The Goonies and Indiana Jones.

The only thing that even remotely makes this small drop of diversity okay, is that they made Lucas a major player in The Party, and cast a dope actress to be Erica Sinclair, and likewise made her a linchpin in the Scoops Troop plot.

But touching back to #5, you can’t use “it’s the 80s” as an excuse, nor can you say, “it’s white bread Indiana.”

BUT but but but Kali!!!!

You mean the character in one episode? Two, if you count the opening of season 2.

Listen. For all the bipoc folks who wonder, “Do white people realize how.....WHITE everything is?” as a white person, I can absolutely say:

Yes. We. Do. Fucking. Notice.

• • • • •

Well. That’s all lol If you made it this far, I’m sorry and thanks lol

Tip your artists and comment on fics because lord knows that where my seratonin comes from.

#ponder ponders #stranger things #billy hargrove #steve harrington #a sprinkling of #harringrove #i could probably find more things to nit pick #but these have been the biggest ones #might delete #rant

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hippychick006 · 4 years ago

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Misha Panel

I’ve done this summary as it helps to have what Misha actually says to hand as more often than not, his stans misquote him. It’s also useful as Misha often changes things - as he appears to have done between his last virtual panel and this one. Note, I’m only focusing on the key parts where he talks about the show/Jared/Jensen. It is not free of anti castiel/misha comments where I disagree, though those are few and far between for a change. It’s long so putting under a cut...

- Misha confirms his filming finished in March prior to Covid [this comes up later in more detail]. Watching the last epiosode was an emotional experience for him. For him, it represents the end of a chapter of his life.

- Misha says fandoms not going anywhere [*hisses]

- Misha’s future work/projects?: working on senate race in georgia, publishing a book of poetry, couple of film projects he’s trying to get off the ground, one he’s not acting/directing in, the other he may act and/or direct

- Jack brought Cass back but we didn’t get to see it, what happened?: different ending originally that Covid restrictions made impossible to produce. Cool ending involved bringing back lots of cast members over the years. In the original ending, Castiel hadn’t gone to rebuild heaven, there was a different conclusion for him. Misha purposely did not read the last two episodes before they aired as he wanted to be an audience member. He knew a little about Castiel/Jack’s fate in the abstract, but because he wasn’t in it, he doesn’t know what the answer was. He thinks them rebuilding heaven was less boots on the ground and more at a spiritual level [so he’s talking at the metaphysical/spiritual plane level and not corporeal) so they are everywhere (e.g. in drops of rain as per Jack’s speech to Sam in 19). That’s what I’m understanding at least. He says that’s pure speculation though.]

- what qualities does castiel have similar to Misha?: there are a lot of similar qualities [backstabber comes immediately to my mind tbh]. Over time he and the character melded. Over time he evolved into something that didn’t quite fit in with either angels or humanity, he felt like an outsider which Misha has felt for much of his life. He became softer, more sensitive, he tried to do the right thing and be a good person. Oh wow, he says that in order to write to play to Misha’s strengths, the character had to “morph a bit”. I loved bad!ass Castiel, he’s my favourite Castiel!

- What one thing will he take with him from playing Castiel?: on a professional level, it was fascinating to play a character for so many years. He discussed with J2 recently that the characters really became part of them. He doesn’t think that will happen again, just due to length of time the played them. On watching Jensen’s death scene, he cried but it was more “That’s Cass’ friend Dean dying” It was weird to have a blurring of lines between yourself and your character but he thinks that’s what happened with all of them. He’ll take the character away, which will be a part of him forever.

- Misha made fortune cookes and put inside lewd and inappropriate fortunes

[I don’t get this next bit as earlier in the panel he says he didn’t read the last two episodes so didn’t know what was going to happen and gave the answer I documented above and now we have this next question where his answer seems to contradict that]:

- Is there anything more he can say about the originally planned finale?: He doesn’t want to be the one to reveal these state secrets, but what are they going to do, fire him? He feels someone might have said to him, please don’t reveal what was going to happen, but can’t remember for sure if it’s true. He says there was a version of Sam and Dean’s heaven that was populated with all of the people that were from their past that they have come to love. They could not do that because of Covid restrictions.

- Favourite behind the scenes memory of “The boys”: He doesn’t have a favourite memory, they were close friends for 12 years. They had laughing fits and fights and got pissed off at each other. Some of his fondest memories of being at work anywhere were working on Supernatural. He’s never going to be on a set again where there is so much mirth so he’s going to miss that for sure.

- he’s talking about Castiel’s wardrobe which is actually funny - e.g. original suit 3 sizes to big, sometimes showing blood and holes, sometimes being magically fixed, not wearing a tie, going back to wearing a tie... “Nobody complained about that too much...” [uh because some of us were watching other things and your own stans were looking at the background.] He stole some trenchcoats and has them in his closet.

- How do you prepare for emotional scenes?: it’s hard for him to get into that emotional state. To prepare for the Castiel’s declaration of love scene and taken by the empty, Misha needs to be off by himself and not chatting with people, so for that scene he sat on his own in a dark corner of the stage and ruminated on his own. Rob Hayter, stunt coordinator, noticed and stood sentinel and made sure no one disturbed him which Misha said was really sweet. Everyone stopped fucking around for that scene to allow them to do what they needed to do.

- How did you feel when you read the script when Castiel dies?: Misha knew for a long time that ending was coming, he’d been speaking to Rob Berens about it, he was really happy with it. It was the ending he’d wanted for Cass so when he read the script, he was really happy it had made it to the page [i bet it was Misha, how are those destiel sales going through your Stands company?]. It felt it was a little “risky and a little brave” for the show to do [on a fucking network that is number one in Glaad reviews? Are you being fucking serious right now?] He was happy to be a part of that [again sales] and have that character express love like that so he was happy with it.

[Okay, so notice in his last virtual panel 2 weeks ago, he was very happy, he’s now starting to do exactly what he did with Karla movie as he goes on to say...]

He’s seen “some people” [you mean lgbtq+ people?!] “complaining” about this is playing into the “bury the gays” trope which is an insidious and real trope in film and television storytelling in h/w over the years. Misha doesn’t think that’s what was happening with Castiel’s [he died second after the confession MIsha!] First of all Castiel isn’t dead, he’s in heaven working to rebuild it... [you didn’t know this 2 weeks ago, as far as you knew Castiel died and went to the empty]. So much good came from that declaration, because Cass was able to save Dean, which was essential to saving the world, so this declaration wasn’t so then fate strikes you down and you’re done forever. The declaration literally ended up saving the world. It was of Cass’ own volition, he wasn’t forced to do it, it was his choice, and he thinks that’s important, so maybe he’s naieve and doesn’t feel they are playing into that trope.

[You were absolutely playing into that trope Misha and you didn’t give a shit as you did no research on playing an lgbtq+ character so sincerely fuck off]

He’s glad that Castiel got to express that and have that ending. He thinks thats kind of important and he’s proud the show did that. [again fuck off, this was done for you and it showed] He thinks its a conversation they will continue to have as they continue to dissect it going forward [nope, consigned to the dumpster fire I’ve put the majority of the rest of Drabbernatural in]

- Do you think you will ever get an SPN tattoo?: He doesn’t have any but he’s thinking about getting tattoos relating to his children. Is that a sign of desperation that a true hasbeen will do? Should he get a tattoo of Jared and Jensen’s face. He could get a tattoo of Castiel’s face on his abdomen. He’s saying probably not. If they want to get one, totally supportive of that

- what is his favourite moment of the finale?: Dean’s death scene, masterfully executed, excellent performances from both Jared and Jensen in that scene and made him cry

- best memory of your last day on the supernatural set?: everyone being really sweet, lot of tears from cast and crew. The last scene he shot as Castiel was the last scene of the day on a Friday. Him, Alex, Richard S and Jensen all had to get to Las Vegas for a fan convention the next morning. They shot late and finished at 1.30, it was Cass goodbye and Misha’s goodbye to the show. He said they had to get a chartered flight because of the early flight [not sure why he’s saying this as I thought it was Jared’s plane they all travelled in?] He’s talking about going back - because of the issue with the plane - and they are all texting family, saying they love them, so it was such a strange night, he’d said goodbye to Supernatural, he said goodbye to Castiel and later on said goodbye to his kids because they thought they were going to die that night. :(

[Going to add that this puts to rest that Misha was due back for 19 and 20 even before covid, it confirms he was not going to be in either episode, though I maintain, they may have shot an extra scene while they had him to slot into 19 or 20]

- do you think Cass and the other angels got their wings back?: Yes, probably, they have Jack who is the new god. What a long and miserable experience that was of not having wings. Cass was so powerful when he started, he could snap his fingers and teleport and time travel and lost that with his broken wings and they didn’t come back. He doesn’t know why they didn’t fix him as Castiel would have been a much more powerful ally if he didn’t have to drive around in the pimp mobile [uh, for the same reason Sam lost his powers, deus ex machina]. He tells the story of Jared pressing buttons in the car causing the hydraulics to fail costing $10000 of repair.

- in your opinion, what colour are Castiels wings?: shit, I don’t know, I always thought they were black, but now that you’ve said that, they are rainbow coloured, how about that?

- What is the worst joke Jared and Jensen did to you?: [*cough fans looking for things to complain about or hate Jared on]: Jared and Jensen, as you know, they are not good people. He talks about directing an episode and they got excited in the week before, they were going to break into his apartment and steal his furniture, they had all kinds of nefarious plans, the crew tipped him off and told him to watch his home and car keys. They put a fish under the seat in his car and one of the crew told him. Jared removed the canvas on the director’s chair and laid it across so it looked like it was still the chair. Misha fell for that at least 5 times. That was pretty frustrating. Jared kept messing up his lines (which Misha said Jared never does) and Misha was directing in another room, Misha eventually went to see what the problem was and that’s when Jared pied him in the face. Everyone in the crew was complicit in the “assault”. Jensen brought him another shirt, said, “I’m sorry man, that’s sucks, that was too much.” Jensen then pied him in the face.

- What is the real story behind the handprint in the finale?: Um I don't know, but I think it was a nice touch, that was a really lovely callback that worked well. I can’t remember how we came up with that, or was it in the script, I can’t remember. Wasn’t it a good callback to the very beginning. [Again, this appears to differ from what was being reported two weeks ago so might need to go back to that panel if I can get access to it]

-What’s your favourite memory from offline/online panels?: It’s much more fun to be live and in person. I don’t know, I have had some really fun... [PANDERING ALERT COMING UP] Jensen and I have some really fun panels together in Rome. I don’t know why but we always just seem to have a real hoot there, talks about the resume off, they really enjoyed that. He had pizza delivered to a creation panel once. He talks about the Saturday night special and he can’t wait till they can get back to that.

[NOTE CYNICAL PART OF THIS IS FOR HIS FANBASE TO ONCE AGAIN CLAMOUR FOR MORE JENMISH PANELS. I DO NOT TRUST THIS MAN AT ALL]

- What was your favourite version of Castiel to play?: he had the most fun playing Lucifer because Mark P had left a great template to play Lucifer [you took the worst parts imo but Mark fucked his character up too]. He enjoyed playing the human parts of Castiel because it was fun to explore how to be human for the first time. Overall, just regular Cass. He wouldn’t have wanted to trade regular Castiel for other iterations. [A great question would be badass Castiel v late season wooby castiel preference]

#anti misha #anti castiel

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dustedmagazine · 4 years ago

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Ian Mathers’ 2020: We’re stuck inside our own machines

I’ve had a song I loved in high school and haven’t thought much about since stuck in my head. The song “Apparitions” by the Matthew Good Band is a fine example of the alt rock of the late 90s; if you grew up then but somewhere down in the states (or elsewhere) instead of my southern Ontario you may well have your regional equivalents, and like this one they may not resonate terribly strongly outside of their time and place. It popped back into my head after a long time recently and of course 2020 has changed it a little. A song that as a teen I felt keenly as about loneliness (albeit also about how technology can feed into that) of course now plays on my nerves as another small piece of art about the way that most of us (those scared and/or responsible anyway) have only that relatively narrow, technologically mediated connection to the people we love. All of us, artists and listeners alike, are trying to fit our feelings and art and selves down these little connections, with some success.

On a personal level, 2020 wound up being stressful in ways we couldn’t have predicted even after the pandemic hit. In circumstances that could have seen governments on this continent support those unable to work (and those who shouldn’t have to), support those workers who are truly essential, support workers and renters and even landlords and small businesses, instead we got a near-total abeyance of those governments using the resources we provide them with to save any of us. On a personal level my wife and I were lucky enough to be able to work from home (not that it didn’t come with its own forms of stress, and now that I’m off until January I have several work/stress-related illnesses to recover from) but still saw friends and loved ones lose good, used-to-be-sustainable livings overnight, saw family businesses succumb to a near-total absence of effective government support after months of trying to keep above water, etc.

It is probably no surprise that this is not a situation conducive to listening to music, let alone writing about it; I have deliberately and happily kept busy on behind the scenes stuff at Dusted that I could still manage but looking, at the end of the year, at the amount I managed to actually create is demoralizing if not at all shocking. I’m not sure I think next year will be ‘better’ in many important ways, although at our job there is a growing feeling among coworkers that next year has to have some work/life balance because 2020 was, maybe more than anything else, unsustainable.

That’s not to say I didn’t spend a lot of time and emotion on music this year, and if nothing else constant sleep deprivation, stress, and panic meant I was probably open to being deeply moved by all sorts of art even more than normally (it’s gotten to the point where I can’t even read a sad or moving twitter thread out loud to my wife without getting teary, which is kind of… nice?). Funnily enough the band that did the most to keep me sane didn’t really put out anything in 2020. Personal favorite, Low, instead started, in early April, getting on Instagram with something they called on whim “It’s Friday I’m in Low.” With one brief break they have now done by my count at least 35 shows (catalogued here, by the way), every Friday at about 4 my time.

Admittedly it’s easier for Low to pull this off than some bands, since the 2/3 of the trio that sing are a married couple (they’ve had a couple of socially-distanced backyard shows with bassist Steve Garrington, but he’s mostly been isolating elsewhere). These shows have seen the band’s Alan Sparhawk take a mid-set break to do follow-up phone interviews with the acts featured in the COVID-curtailed touring bands series Vansplainingthat they started on YouTube, or just to give a tour round their vegetable garden and talk tips. It’s seen Alan and Mimi Parker draw on their impressive, 25+ year body of work (averaging 4-5 songs a set, I don’t think they’ve repeated themselves yet) and talk a bit between songs about pandemics, politics, song choices, and whether Alan should grab his bike helmet this time.

They’re not the only musicians out there speaking love and sanity (and playing music) into the strange digital interzone filled with hate and disinformation where we’ve all been forced to gather while locked down, but they were and the most consistent and steady signal being emitted each week. No matter how tired I was from work or what new symptoms I’d developed or what horrific thing I read into the news, even if I had to take an emergency nap while it was actually airing, every Friday the show was there. Once things do return to something more like normal, it’s one of the few things I’ll unambiguously miss about this weird-ass year.

So if that makes an argument for Low as my band of the year (admittedly again… it’s not like Double Negative has aged poorly, either), that does a disservice to those 2020 records I did connect with; even if there are still literally dozens I have to go through, many of which I expect to love, my top picks this year (if as unrankable by me as always) hit me as hard as any top pick in recent years did. So here I present a quick and informal top 5, which the rest of my top 20 following in alphabetical order. Here’s hoping for more time and space in 2021 for music, and even more than that, for more support for those who need it from those who could have been providing it all this time. (The Matthew Good Band, incidentally, always did best with their ballads. “Strange Days” is another I’ve had in my head these days; the image of moving “backwards, into a wall of fire” has stuck with me since the 90s and it’s never felt more grimly appropriate.)

Greet Death — New Hell

New Hell by Greet Death

This one is, in some sense, cheating; it came out November 2019. But that just means it’s the latest winner of my personal Torres Prize for Ian Being Late to the Party (so named because becoming slightly obsessed with Torres’ Sprinter just after I sent in my 2015 list was the first time I noticed that one of my favorite records of each year tends to get picked up by me just after I call it quits on the year, no matter how long I try to wait). This very doom and gloom slowcore/metal/(whatever, just know it’s heavy) trio at first felt very much like my beloved Cloakroom (whose Time Well has also won a Torres Prize) but sure enough nuances revealed themselves. Back in February it felt almost a little too negative, but then the rest of 2020 happened. And the extended burns of “You’re Gonna Hate What You’ve Done” and the title track remain searing.

Holy Fuck — Deleter

youtube

Probably the record I’ve been trying to write about the longest in 2020, and the one I’m most disappointed in myself that I just couldn’t get the requisite paragraphs together. It’s a wonderful effort from the consistently great Toronto resolutely human-created (and —mediated) dance music quartet, one that both feels like a summation of everything they do well, and with the addition of some outside voices (including strong turns from the singers of both Hot Chip and Liars) a step forward at the same time.

Spanish Love Songs — Brave Faces Everyone

Brave Faces Everyone by Spanish Love Songs

As the year got worse, this roar of defiance only got more crucial for me to hear every so often; I was a big enough fan of it, even after writing it up for Dusted, that when they solicited fan footage for a subsequent music video you may just be able to get a glimpse of me in it. (I’m the one in a “No Tories” t-shirt.) My punk rock-loving twin brother was the one who introduced me to Spanish Love Songs and we were supposed to spend an evening in June screaming along to them live in a packed, sweaty room. I need that in my life again.

Julianna Barwick — Healing Is a Miracle

Healing Is A Miracle by Julianna Barwick

It’s a sign of what 2020 has been like here that even just this album title leaves bruises, and while I privately worried Barwick would have a hard time following up 2016’s sublime Will (probably my favorite record that year), it seems that continuing to take whatever downtime she needs to keep focusing and refining her particular muse has once again yielded amazing results. Anyone who thinks they know what a Barwick track sounds like should really check out, say, “Flowers”, but much of this record absolutely sounds like Barwick, just even better than before. She also boasted my wife and I's favorite streaming concert of 2020, an absolutely gorgeous rendition of this album with Mary Lattimore showing up.

Phoebe Bridgers — Punisher

Punisher by Phoebe Bridgers

I joked on Twitter recently that I have far too nice a dad (and far too good a relationship with him) to be as obsessed as I am with Phoebe Bridgers’ “Kyoto”, but here we are. Like most of her generation, Bridgers’ social media presence ranges from shit-posting to inscrutable, but even though things are often just as hard to figure out in her beautiful songs (as they often are in life), there’s an emotional clarity to them that can just grab you deep down. Couple that with seriously impressive songcraft and the progress from her already astounding debut Stranger in the Alps and more than anyone else in 2020 I’m excited to see just where the hell Phoebe Bridgers is going to go, because it feels like she’s talented and hardworking enough to go just about anywhere and drag a lot of our hearts with her.

Other Favorites

Aidan Baker & Gareth Davis — Invisible Cities II

Anastasia Minster — Father

Deftones — Ohms

Hum — Inlet

Kelly Lee Owens — Inner Song

Mesarthim — The Degenerate Era

Perfume Genius — Set My Heart On Fire Immediately

Protomartyr — Ultimate Success Today

Rachel Kiel — Dream Logic

The Ridiculous Trio — The Ridiculous Trio Plays the Stooges

Sam Amidon — Sam Amidon

Shabason, Krgovich & Harris — Philadelphia

Stars Like Fleas — DWARS Session: Live on Radio VPRO

Well Yells — We Mirror the Dead

Yves Tumour — Heaven to a Tortured Mind

Five Reissues/Compilations/etc.

Aix Em Klemm — Aix Em Klemm

Bardo Pond — Adrop/Circuit VIII

Charles Curtis — Performances & Recordings 1998-2018

Coil — Musick to Play in the Dark

Hot Chip — LateNightTales

Ian Mathers

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jackjots · 4 years ago

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#1 Podcast

Wayward Guide for the Untrained Eye 30 Day Prompt

Day #1 “Podcast”:

(I do not own any other characters or place names outside of Shelby St. Ranger, this is just for fun)

There’s a driveway about one mile long that cuts into a foothill that surrounds Connor Creek. At the end of the driveway, is a small cabin with a garden that is as simple and as boring as a garden can be.

When I, Shelby St. Ranger, moved there it had been an overgrown mess of something that had once been someones complex and colorful paradise. I’d left it for a little while, but eventually it depressed me to walk by the dead plants so I bought some gloves and gardening tools and tore everything up. It took up a weekend, which was good, since there wasn’t a lot to do in Connor Creek. This in itself was supposed to be a good thing, so I could work on my novel. Although my characters would often be battling each other and drinking mead in great viking halls, my own life was simple and plodded along. I’d moved from the city once I could afford to, and it was fairly cheap to live in Connor Creek so it actually had been a smart choice in many ways. But I hadn’t expected to be so deeply, deeply bored. I’d discovered the walk to town was pleasant, as not many cars went on the main road, and it helped when I hit writing blocks or just pure FOMO (fear of missing out) that was unfounded as the town inched along as much as I did. This was especially needed at night.

The only place open after 5pm was the Dead Canary. Despite my boredom, I’ve always been an introvert, so I kept to myself. Unfortunately, everyone already knew who I was before I had even moved in. It only took two visits before the bartender would greet me with my usual order and give me a quick “How’s it goin’ Shelby?” It became a habit for me to sit in the least visible place in the corner of a booth and write down little ideas that would pop into my head.

One night, a man with the energy of a rabbit came in and spotted me. “You’re the new one in town, Shelby right?”

“Yes?” I had pushed my notebook aside, a very detailed doodle of a hexagon that had eyeballs betraying the fact that I couldn’t think of anything to write at the time.

“My name is Ryan Reynolds. I’m running for town council, I was wondering if you’d heard about the race?”

I nodded. “I’ve seen the posters.”

“Good. Can I count on your vote?”

“I’ll have to do research first, I can’t just vote for you because you introduced yourself to me.”

His eyebrows almost hit his hairline. “Fair. Fair, very fair. Just do your research...how do you plan to do that?”

“Do what?”

“Your research.”

“I imagine on the internet?”

“It’s so spotty. And believe me, if you google my name, it can be very confusing.”

“Right.”

“So you’re better off asking me questions directly.”

“Can I do it some other time? I’m working.” I sipped on my beer.

“Of course! Anytime. You know, there’s people coming to record a podcast about what’s going on here at Connor Creek.”

“What’s going on?”

“I’ll tell you all about it, tomorrow night?”

“Sure.” He went back to the bar and his voice became white noise as I started back to my notebook and slowly the characters in my head came back to me and I wrote a few paragraphs.

Unfortunately, I never had that second talk with Ryan Reynolds.

I had struggled back and forth with myself if I should go into town that next night. I didn’t usually go two days in a row, but I’d already written 20 pages that day and felt like a drink was well deserved. However, the idea of talking about local town politics did not appeal to me. I thought if I went early, I’d probably miss him. Which was true, but not for the reasons I thought.

I was almost done with my beer, and had taken to drawing those S things I’d mastered in elementary school when I heard the door and the voice of Sheriff Madison. I peeked around the corner and saw two people with their backs to me. I didn’t recognize them, and realized I was acting like a nosey local, so I went back to my doodles.

That was when I heard they were working on a podcast. Intrigued, I jotted down their names and the company they worked for. I’d have to wait until I was back home to try to connect to the internet to look them up. It would probably be a frustrating endeavor, but my interest was piqued for the first time outside my novel in the months I’d lived in Connor Creek. Why would anyone from the city cover the election in such a small town? There had to be more going on. Or maybe I was just creating something to get excited about. I sighed and tore the page, crumpled it up, and put it in my pocket. It was an old habit to put trash in my pocket, from years of don’t litter training pounded in my head.

I tried to sneak out, but as soon as I got through the door, I heard someone scream. I didn’t meet with Ryan again, because he was dead outside. I saw the podcast people come out and I watched as the town started to spill out around the scene. I walked home, feeling a bit numb. I had been avoiding him, and now he was dead. I don’t know why I felt guilty, but I did.

On my way home, there was a crumpled paper white against the grass, dimly lit by the moon. Above the paper was a bush of white roses that made the paper stand out even more. I picked it up out of habit, but before I stuck it in my pocket I noticed print on it and opened it up. Ryan Reynolds’ face stared up at me from his campaign poster. I folded it and put it in my pocket.

I logged online and started looking up information about the election, but as Ryan had suggested, it was impossible to find anything about him. And the town was hardly on the net. I’d have to go to the library, I decided, like it was the 90s again. I sighed and slumped back in my chair. Something in my pocket poked me and I took out the crumped piece of paper that said “Artemis and Paul” and “APN”. I typed the names into the search engine and drummed my thumbs as the search went through. It took a while to load them, but I started to listen to Artemis and Paul’s old podcasts, and found four hours had passed. I learned they were twins, and that Artemis was always digging into even the smallest stories for some meat, while Paul seemed happy with making puns and observations that always gave the stories a lively feel I enjoyed.

Finally turning it off, I saw how late it was and almost got up from the computer when I thought more about Ryan Reynolds. I didn’t know much about the town and had become expert at avoiding hearing gossip, which was also easy as they were still weary of me - except for the Miner Mole owner Titus Makin. He’d been very welcoming, but he kind of reminded me of a snake. He mostly wanted to talk about city life since he knew that’s where I was from, but was very disappointed that I didn’t share his views that the town needed to grow more. I’d been at the bar (a mistake I stopped making soon after and started hiding in the shadows of the booths) when Titus had sat next to me and waxed on about progress. I said I moved to Connor Creek for a reason, and that reason was peace, quiet, and trees. That’s all I had wanted. Now that I thought about it, that was the night Desmond, the bartender, started to treat me like a regular. That suggested something that started to put other pieces into place. I looked up Miner Mole, and found some talk online about them changing the face of Connor Creek through the silver mines. The idea of the town changing rapidly didn’t appeal to me, as I’d left all of the behind for a reason, and I found a new appreciation for boredom at the worry that I would soon find myself in a bustling budding city. But what did this have to do with Ryan Reynolds' death? And why was there investigative podcasters here before he was even dead?

I set my alarm for a trip to the library the next day, and found some sleep deep in my bed covers.

#waywardguidefortheuntrainedeye #waywardguide #prompt #werewolves #fanfiction #30daysofwayward

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goldenfawnwriting · 4 years ago

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Birds of A Feather- Part 11 Hawks fic

Summary: It’s been a long work week and Finch finds herself going home alone again. How long will this last? On the other side Hawks is asking himself the same thing as he watches her walk away.

Warnings: Angst, violence, catastrophe y’know the good stuff.

A/N: Hope you guys enjoy!

Finally the work week was over. Finch was beyond tired and stressed from the blatant tenseness between her and her boss. She was way too excited to get off and run for the door, as she knew Asami was waiting on her at their usual bar.

Hawks almost stopped her. He didn’t know what in the world had her so excited but he brushed it off, sitting at his desk for some time longer. He really couldn’t get her out of his mind but at the same time, he was kinda pissed off at her. He didn’t understand why she was being like this, so stone cold with him. She never did that before, she never really cared what he did. Not that there was another woman in the picture then either. But he was being honest, she was just a friend that came to visit. Nothing was going on between them.

Finch didn’t care. Even if he was telling the truth she didn’t want to risk getting her heart broken and possibly losing her job. As she rushed off to meet her best friend she shoved the thoughts out of her mind of him. She had worn something a little fancier than usual to work today and Hawks had half a mind to ask what was going on but he kept his mouth shut. A pinkish red blouse, swooping down and showing her bare back, a slightly shorter pencil skirt, and a pair of nude heels. She wasn’t usually in brighter colors, he noticed. She had also stopped wearing the hair pin he had gotten her, which hurt his feelings a bit but he wouldn’t admit it.

When she got to the bar they began drinking, laughing and dancing, having a good time. Finch was relieved to not think about Hawks for just a moment but that soon ended. As a good looking man with an odd quirk approached her, she gave Asami a knowing look.

“Hey girls! I’m Yanaka, we just wanted to know if you guys might want to join our group?”

Asami glanced over, spotting the three guys across the crowded bar. She looked at Finch, who was obviously what he came here for.

“S-sure we’d love to!”

She replied, her face reddened with alcohol. As they moved to where the other group was Asami kept an eye on Finch, squinting when Yanaka ran a hand across her bare, lower back, leading her across the room. She didn’t know about this guy and his group of friends. She was really concerned about how Finch was acting, she usually was more reserved and it didn’t bother her at first but now she was a little concerned.

The night was going well enough, she kept her eye on Finch who eventually went out to the dance floor with Yanaka. She was trying to keep an eye on her while holding up a conversation with the other two guys, They talked about a bunch of everything and nothing but it was getting harder to keep track of doing both. She didn’t even realize when she lost sight of the two, looking back while laughing before it hit her, her eyes widening in panic. They were gone from the dance floor.

About 20 minutes later when Finch still hadn’t come back into sight she started to really get worried. The other two guys were constantly trying to change the subject and change the topic, which only made it worse, Asami getting up and excusing herself to the restroom, the only place she knew they wouldn’t follow. Locking herself in a stall she pulled out her phone, trying to call Finch, text her, still not getting any reply and after 3 minutes she was in tears. She was praying nothing happened like last time, that maybe she was just freaking out for no reason, but she couldn’t calm herself down.

In a last ditch attempt she texted someone she knew Finch wouldn’t agree with. She was desperate, typing with shaking hands, begging him to do anything.

When she wiped her tears in the mirror and rejoined the group she was still scanning the dance floor looking for Finch as the two guys talked her ear off. She never got a reply from Hawks but about 10 minutes later she spotted him from across the room, walking towards her. She gave him a desperate look as she made his way to her.

“Hey miss sparky, who are these guys?”

“U-uh, this is Aito, and Haruma, Yanaka was with Finch, I’m not sure where they went.”

She exchanged information smoothly and without suspicion, smiling as she introduced the two men sitting on each side of her.

“Ya, man, he’s probably just having a smoke or something, no big deal!”

Auto assured him. Hawks gave Asami a look and she shot on back.

“Well, uh, why don’t you stay here, and I’ll get us some drinks Star.”

She nodded a little too quickly but knew she could play it off as if she just had a crush to the two other men. She swallowed hard, watching Hawks walk off into the crowd. She knew he wasn’t too pleased with what was going on but, he was the only one who she could think of that would help.

He walked the perimeter of the club and bar, scanning through people. He knew she must be wearing the same clothes as earlier, it was too early for her to have stopped to change. As he made his way to the back alley of the club his stomach sunk. He just had a bad feeling. Right before he rounded the corner into the alley he stopped, posting up against the wall as he listened. It was her voice.

“I-I don’t know Yanaka, we should probably get back, Im sure my friend is worried by n-now...”

“Aw peach, don’t worry~ This’ll only take a second...”

“Yanaka please, I don't-”

“Aw just be a good girl for me ya?”

Hawks was so very close to rounding the corner and stopping him but he waited just a second longer, just until he heard Finch squeal and the sound of a slap. He raced around the corner, setting eyes on the girl, her wings trapped against the brick wall and the slimy guy pinning her there.

He was silent as he walked up behind the guy, Finch’s eyes squeezed shut as she waited for what he assumed was another slap across the face, judging by the red mark on her cheek. He grabbed the guys shoulder, catching him by surprise as he turned him around, punching him square in the jaw. The man’s yell was cut off as he fell, scrambling away from Hawks with a hand holding his jaw.

“H-hey what the hell man!”

“Finch it’s time to go.”

Hawks growled, grabbing the girl by the arm and dragging her out of the alley. Finch was stumbling behind him and Hawks was getting more and more frustrated, whipping her around in front of him and steadying her once they got out of the alley and away from the sleezeball.

“How do you not learn?! Why did you come back here after what happened last time?!”

She stuttered, her face reddened. He couldn’t tell if it was from embarrassment or alcohol.

“I-I didn’t need you to s-save me-”

She slurred. Hawks sighed angrily and picked up her phone from her hand, calling Asami.

“I’ve got her she’s fine. Just get home please. I don’t need another person to worry about.”

He grumbled, hanging up without giving Asami time to respond.

“What the hell is with you? This is the second time you’ve done this- It’s like you want something to happen-”

“I didn’t want anything to happen Hawks! I just wanted to have a good time!”

She yelled back at him, ripping her arm away from his grip. He quickly caught it again, pulling her closer.

“All you ever do is get yourself in trouble Finch, and I have to come save you-”

“I didn’t need your help! I was fine!”

“Oh ya, fine! Totally fine! With the pervert groping you up in a dirty back alley?!”

“Maybe!”

Hawks didn’t respond, the pause giving her enough time to let it sink in as her eyes started to water.

“Oh- don’t cry-”

It was too late. She was full on bawling.

“I’m fine! I can be fine on my own, I don’t need anyone to take care of me like a child!”

She cried, furiously wiping away her own tears with her sleeves. Hawks wasn’t sure what to do.

“S-stop crying, let’s just go home, you’re drunk.”

“I don’t want to go home with you, I’ll make it home fine by myself, leave me alone.”

She started walking down the street by herself and Hawks had half a mind to let her, but after what had happened he wasn’t even sure she’d remember tonight, let alone make it all the way home.

“Come one love bird don't be like that~”

He called, giving her his best sultry voice. Maybe if he played nice she would mind. She froze where she stood.

“Let me at least make sure you get home alright.”

He requested. She sighed before nodding, still not facing him. And so he followed her on her walk home, staying a few feet behind her the whole time. He didn’t want to push her any more than he had.

“Hawks, why did you come tonight?”

“Asami called-”

“Ya but, why did you actually come? You could’ve just told her it wasn’t your problem.”

“I-I’m a hero, I save people, it’s my job.”

She was silent then. It was just his job, not his feelings. There was nothing meaningful about it, just his responsibility. She silently sighed, getting to her front door of her apartment and fumbling with the keys. Hawks gently took them, unlocking the door for her. She paused before she went in, turning back to Hawks to say something when suddenly he was kissing her. After a second she responded deepening it as his hands gently ran across her waist and his fingers grazed along her bare back.

“I’m sorry for tonight...”

He panted when they separated. She only nodded silently.

“And I’m sorry for kissing you-”

“Don’t be.”

She cut him off lowly, suddenly aware of how short her skirt had became, getting hiked up slightly throughout the night. She pulled it back into place, brushing off her blouse.

“Um... Can I kiss you again?”

He wondered, giving her a look with pin prick pupils. She cleared her throat.

“H-Hawks, I had a question actually...”

Her wings puffed slightly and she tried in vain to smooth them with her hands.

“Can I tell you something first?”

He stopped her, his eyes hooded as he looked over her. She nodded and waited and after a moment of him not replying she went to speak but was cut off. He pulled her into another kiss, her face blushing hotly as he wrapped his arms around her, braking away to kiss at her neck.

“H-hawks~”

“Call me Keigo sweetheart.”

Finch let out a low gasp, as she let her head fall back slightly to give him more access.

“Why don’t we go inside gorgeous?”

She only nodded in reply, pulling him inside the apartment. They continued their make out session on the couch, Hawks pushing her down onto her back gently.

“I’ve been wanting to tell you this for awhile now...”

He trailed off. She replied before he could continue.

“Ke-Keigo, I really like you.”

“I’m in love with you Finch.”

She blushed hotly and carded her fingers through his hair gently, pulling on the locks slightly.

“Then kiss me again.”

She replied, blushing hard. He gave a coy smirk before granting her wish.

#hawks #Hawks fanfic #bnha hawks #mha hawks

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impishnature · 4 years ago

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Writer Tag Game!

I was tagged by @infriga <3 thanks~ I love these~~

Author Name: Impishnature, Impish_Nature on AO3 and most people call me Imp. It actually isn’t a pokemon reference or at least I never intended it to be.

Fandom(s) you write for: Gravity Falls, King Falls, Don’t Starve, Good Omens. I’ve written for others, started out on livejournal and ff.net, but these are the ones you’ll find me in now.

Where you post: AO3, tumblr and patreon - I have a load of WIPs there that have never made it here.

Most popular one-shot: Huh. If I were to guess I’d say ‘Stanford’ Pines. That one got a burst of attention after I first wrote it and I’m really glad for it. I wonder if that’s still the case. According to AO3 it seems to be my most popular oneshot! I have no idea how to check on tumblr haha!

Most popular multi-chapter: Brand of a Dreamer! The multichapter/first story I wrote for Gravity Falls and got so much love I had to keep writing. ... I feel like I should be worried that it’s all gone down from there but I like to hope its more that people go back and read it than the opposite ^^ Plus The Light Keeper isn’t that far behind so I must have been doing something alright.

Favorite story you wrote: Hoboi. I feel like this is a struggle because whatever you’re working on is the most fun thing you’re working on- otherwise you wouldn’t keep writing! I had a lot of fun with Cascading Chaos, that’s whats popped to mind right now at- midnight, I need to sleep. But honestly anything where I work with a friend on a story is so much fun and I’ve had a lot of creative spirals <3

Story you were nervous to post: Always nervous. Always anxious and shut down social media for a little while afterwards. Though getting better at that. But the one I was probably most worried about was my Ace fic- I was worried that people would tell me it was unrealistic or ‘Ace people don’t act like that’ or general... not niceness about sexuality? It’s scary to put parts of yourself out there. I guess a few of my other vent fics have also worried me but in the heat of the moment they probably didn’t so - Gotta say it was Ace on Deck. And all I can say is that the responses were great and lovely and kind and I honestly hope that I might have helped a few people too by writing it. So the nervousness was worth it for getting it out there.

How do you choose your titles? Heh. A lot of the time they choose themselves.

What do I mean? Mainly that if I’m daydreaming a story and a line pops in and I go ‘that’s it. thats the title’ it usually means I’m going to write it.

If that doesn’t happen I sit for ages whining about what to call it - that mostly happens with Chapter titles though.

For instance? Fic I’m writing at the moment? Good Omens with Crowley fighting Heaven and Hell to make sure Aziraphale doesn’t get hurt? - Avenging Angel. It just fit and that was that and oh boy I knew that the fic needed writing.

How many of your stories are complete? Going by AO3 102! I have 102 complete fics on there and 8 WIPS. But we all know there’s more than that really. I’d say there’s at least another 10 that have never made it to the light and that’s not counting old fandoms from years ago... We don’t talk about them though.

In progress: Good Omens one shot! I got hooked on the song ‘The good, the bad and the dirty’ and it fuelled the one shot <3

Coming soon: Hmmm... I mean the WIPs I’ve been meaning to work on is a Victorian Era Good Omens Fic, an Early Hollywood Era Good Omens Fic.... And a werewolf Gravity Falls fic~ So maybe some time soon? Idk writing is hard at the moment.

Upcoming story you’re most excited to write: Again I have to say Avenging Angel/the one I’m working on because if it wasn’t the thing I was most excited to work on then I wouldn’t be working on it!

Top five favorite authors: Ohhhh but there’s so many gooduns Helloearthlings for King Falls AM stories! @babyblueavenger on AO3 for the Mystery Nerds AU <3 Such a good AU @sightkeeper I can’t help it, your remnants fic has fuelled me to write, fight me. Asbelow AO3 Time has changed me is amazing @apathetic-revenant By The Skin of Your Teeth <3 @infriga Your 1 Step Forward, 20 years back will forever be one of my favs I went for the fics I go back to time and again. ^O^ You all are amazing!

Tagging: Any of the above who haven’t done it! Any writing friends/mutuals that I’ve chatted to before please go for it and tag me! I wanna know what you all are working on!!!

#this was fun!#thank you!

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fullsunhyuckie · 5 years ago

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lost in osaka(’s beauty)

uber driver!yuta

in which you needed a plus one for a work event and yuta was conveniently there to aid you,,and maybe even more.

a/n: i’ve officially gotten out of my slump (i hope hehehe) so this is pretty long. oh and i swear this fic sounds better than you think. enjoy!

12.19am

if anyone knows you, they’d know how much your work means to you. everything else comes second to your work. your family complains about how you take it too seriously most of the time and that you should consider taking a break. so when the day comes that you finally decide to bring yourself on a vacation, they might as well mark it as a public holiday.

as you were packing for your trip in the two hours you had left before you had to depart, you received a call from your boss. a part of you was glad because maybe you could, in fact, ditch this trip and get back to work. the other part of you was a little disappointed because you did plan the whole trip by yourself.

'' y/l/n, i need you to stand in for me at the Japanese Media Conference in Osaka, the night after tomorrow.'' your boss ordered casually. ''and do bring a plus one. that should suffice. you'll need to prepare a sum of money enough for a pair of outfit for you and your plus one. please be there by 8 and dress nicely. thank you.'' he added only to hang up abruptly.

though you were shocked, you were more frustrated because how in the world are you going to find a boy willing enough to go to a conference all the way in Japan. just as you were about to deliver the news to your parents, you saw them come in with a bag of medication and toiletries with wide smiles on their faces.

so when they asked you, " where's our baby going? you haven't told us yet!", you softly replied to them, "i guess i’m going to japan!" they cheered and your anger washed away. it was one thing to have tiny accomplishments celebrated by yourself, but to see your loved ones do it, they seem ten times more valid. so without complaints, you rushed out the door waving to your parents, with the boarding pass you printed at most 20 minutes ago.

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5.48 pm.

pacing about door 27, you were frustratingly waiting for your uber that was said to have arrived 5 minutes ago. well, whoever Nakamoto Yuta was, he should have a valid explanation as to why he was late. but in that exact moment, you saw a black sedan car appear in front of you.

the windows of the car were rolled down and you see a man with purple hair greeting you with a rather attractive smile but you had to keep your cool.

"are you miss y/n?" he flashes you the smile once more.

"yes and you're late. i'm rushing for something here." you responded almost simultaneously to which he nodded and rolled up his windows. but before he did it fully, you stopped him.

"aren't you going to help me with my bags? i cant possibly carry it myself.” you gave an exasperated sigh. he chuckled and rolled the windows back up, with no intent of helping you out. 'asshole', you thought. but the truth was that's what yuta thinks too, because he was sure your screen said arriving in 5 mins...but sure he'll let you have it.

you took the seat diagonally behind him and sat quietly for at least 20 full minutes through the ride, occasionally looking at his prettily coloured hair. he was the one to break the silence.

"so your bag isn't that heavy after all?" he mocks you.

"well, isn't it basic courtesy to have a driver help you with your bags?" you heard him huff in an annoyed manner, causing your ride continue its silence until you arrived.

upon arrival, you immediately changed out to your more appealing outfit so that you could head to the pub, in search of a plus one. but the longer you stayed at the pub, you remembered exactly why you’d rather be a workaholic. so you gave up and decided to book an uber back home. too tired to bother, you went into the car that stopped in front of you, hoping that it was the right one.

"must be a tough day for a prissy princess like you, ey?" you hear a familiar voice from the driver's seat. your head shot up and you saw from the rear view mirror, the last face you'd wanna see. "oh piss off, nakamoto."

"call me yuta."

"i'm not in the mood." you replied, before glancing to the front to steal a peek.

if you were being honest, you were really bothered by yuta on the ride home. you began noticing the little details about him. like the shape of his button nose, and how his hair isn't just purple, it's a really pretty ash purple. 'he's okay looking, huh?' you processed. and then it hit you. a decent looking man, who by chance you have been acquainted to, who is also a fluent japanese speaker and ,fortunately, owns a car. a sleek one in fact. and so you made a decision.

as he drove to the front of your hotel, you stayed still in the car with no intent of leaving. he turned around and lifted his eyebrows at your antics. you took a deep breath, thinking 'here goes nothing'.

"i have a proposal to make in which i am expecting you to accept. i need someone...okay looking, especially with a car, to be my partner for a day...or a few." you started. "you dont have to do much. just sit still, look pretty."

"why would i need to help you? i'm working tomorrow. besides-"

"i'll pay you."

"i'm all ears."

" i know you need the money, considering this job," he narrows his eyes at you. "so i'll give $600 for this event you attend and you get to keep the suit." his previously narrowed eyes now widened all the way at your offer. you gestured for him to give his phone. "i need you to pick me up tomorrow by 8am so we can go get your suit and my dress. don't be late.”

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8.07 am.

of course he's late. even though you were afraid he'll decide not to turn up, you had to remain cool. but exactly 5 minutes later he arrives, in a floral print shirt with light brown bermuda shorts and a pair of slides, hair unkempt. ugly, you thought. but as you thought so, he winks at you and it crossed your mind, well maybe not at all.

"you're seven minutes late. how am i supposed to trust that you'll reach on time tonight?" you complained. he just shrugged and proceeded to lead you into his sedan car.

the both of you headed to the nearest shopping district to run your errands. after a few hours of shopping, your hands were filled with shopping bags yet you still weren’t sure what yuta picked out. he insisted that you should trust his sense and let it be a secret. yuta was leisurely walking with just a bag of items while you were struggling to balance with all the stuff you bought.

"if only someone was gentleman enough to help me carry my stuff especially since this man beside me, isn't one." you said it a little too loudly in hopes that it'll embarrass him.

yuta laughed it off, completely unphased by your actions. so you continued walking at a fast pace until you heard him jog towards you and felt his hand brushed against yours, causing you to pause. he somehow managed to maneuver the shopping bags so that it would rest on your interlocked hands, so it looked as if the both of you were carrying the bags together. he brushed his thumb against your fingers, which made your heart do a thing. he gave a smug look and you let go, leaving him to carry it instead.

you got in the car, avoiding any form of conversation with yuta, but on the way back, he kept stealing glances at every stop he took. his actions made you nervous, which wasn't super abnormal as you're never usually affected .

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7.48pm.

you could tell it was him by the way he knocks on the door. you opened the door slowly and-

holy freaking grail.

he was stunning. oh so beautiful. you were in awe. he wasn't lying about his sense of fashion. maroon velvet suit with black innerwear which complements your black seude midi dress. his hair parted just enough to showcase his glowing forehead. earrings, 3 on one side and 2 on the other, contrasting his well-groomed look with a little bit of rebel. how intelligent.

"aren't you gonna let me in or are you not done ogling me?"

"n-no let's just uh- let's leave now. we're..ahem.. we can just be early..." you stuttered, pushing him out.

you arrived at your destination 20 minutes later and was astounded by the beauty of it. you turned to your left to look at osaka’s skyline, what a beauty. you turned right to look at yuta and you started to wonder, maybe everything in Japan is stunning. yuta offered you his arm and you slid into it like it was made just for you.

the whole conference was pretty boring but you had to keep yourself awake for your boss's sake. it wasn't until the dinner when you actually had a lot of fun. although yuta wasn't exactly a gentleman that night, you could tell he was trying. like when he took his food, it was a portion just enough for two. or when he pulled the chair out from the table intending to sit there but acting as if it wasn't a good enough spot so he offered you instead. you appreciated the subtlety more than you expected.

you noticed the speaker from earlier approaching your table and you stiffened.

"you know if you keep doing that, the whole hall will be able to tell that i'm a stranger to you." yuta whispered.

before you could answer him, you felt his hand rest on the crook of your back. he knew you were nervous so when you felt him caress your back gently, you appreciated it. he left as you were speaking to your boss’s clients, taking down notes for his future plans. the night wasn’t that bad, here and there you heard whispers about how gorgeous your boyfriend looked unlike you, but thats about it. after your exchange session, you searched high and low for yuta, silently hoping he wasn’t somewhere trying to hook up with some woman 10x richer or better looking than you are.

after searching for a good 15 minutes, you saw him near the fountain talking to someone. although you felt obligated to get annoyed, as your plus one, you felt warm. he looked way too engaged telling a story to a 7 year old girl. he turned to see you staring at him. he waved at you, at the same time getting the little girl to do the same. she didn’t seem too keen to do so.

“i think we can leave now. we need to prepare for tomorrow’s event.” you said, grabbing a hold of yuta’s elbow.

the little girl tugged at yuta’s sleeves and she whispers, “i don’t like her very much. mr nakamoto, can you continue the story?” to which you frowned and rolled your eyes, unintentionally. your actions caught yuta off guard and he burst out laughing at your child-like behaviour. or cute behaviour but yuta wont admit it

“i’m sorry, princess, but my grandmother here has forced me to leave with her or i won’t be able to return home for tonight. i’ll see you around!” the little girl chuckles and wave at yuta, not before giving you a glare.

“i hate kids.”

“are you jealous because a seven year old has more game with me than you do?”

“don’t flatter yourself, nakamoto.”

“count yourself lucky that i think you’re cute.”

well yeah, that stuck on your mind the whole night.

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9.36am

who in the right mind would have a formal event at 9 in the morning? there you were half awake, engaging with 10 people at one go, when its barely noon while yuta was at the back treating himself with the pancakes served. he was dressed formally as if he was supposed to attend a Sunday morning tennis match, when everyone else was in a polo tee and jeans. you’re sure he bought that outfit just so he could use it for another day, knowing he was able to keep it.

on that particular morning, you met johnny, the son of the CEO of a well-known entertainment company in Chicago. he’s tall, lean, very attractive, funny and the list goes on. if you weren’t married to your career, you’d so be into him. but you want to know who isn’t? nakamoto yuta. the moment he heard you burst a giggle instead of a laugh, he lifted his previously buried-in-pancakes face to scan across the crowd, seeing you with johnny.

he almost immediately threw away his half-eaten pancake and strut his way towards you but before he could do anything to get at johnny, you and johnny part ways much to yuta’s relief. throughout the whole event, you could feel his eyes on you, unconsciously looking out for any competition. it was funny though because when you try to look back he’d act as if he’s much rather be somewhere else. what a fool.

the event took up more than half of your afternoon so when you returned from it you were dead tired. yuta sent you to the door but seeing how GONE you were he needed to make sure you were fully awake while cleaning yourself. you took more than an hour as he waited on the sofa, he did sleep though. you sat beside him and watched him peacefully. his hair covering both his eyes, you were so tempted to touch it. purple never looked so good on a man. despite hesitating, you brushed his hair behind his ears, causing him to rest deeper into your palm. a soft smile crept up your lips as he did so.

“you should smile like that more often when you look at me. my heart does things when you do that.” he says with his eyes closed.

stunned, you pulled your hand away, forcing him to scram. he left with a smile on his face, satisfied with how flustered you were.

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7.49pm

“what do you mean you cant make it? it’s the last event. i need you to be there with me-“

“i need to run some errands. i’ll try my best and make it in time.” yuta replies.

you weren’t gonna lie but a huge part of you grew dependent on him so when you were forced to attend it alone, it felt foreign.

and indeed it was. the entire time you were there, you started missing him. when things got awkward you realised there was no one to turn to. or when the speaker said something unfunny, you’d laugh, thinking about what yuta would say in response. it was as if the entire night revolved around him and you hated it because you only realised his importance when he wasn’t around.

as you were eating, you felt someone approach you, deeply hoping it was yuta. but as you turned, you saw johnny. he was dressed in a sleek black suit with a bow tie. what a heartthrob.

“where’s your lover boy?”

“he’s busy running some errands. such a momma’s boy.” you said while unintentionally sulking.

understanding that you were bored at the event, johnny decided to accompany you. for a moment you forgot about yuta and you were thankful for that. but as you were intending to grab a quick bite with johnny, you heard johnny saying something and before you could ask him to repeat, you peeked behind his tall figure to see a good looking japanese man looking at you. seeing that you were comfortable with johnny, he approached you and gave you a kiss on your cheek, lingering longer than expected. to say your heart skipped a beat would be an understatement. it was as if it your heart entirely stopped and then you were resurrected by the touch of his lips.

“you smell...nice. i’m sorry i’m late.” he pulled away and wrapped his pinky around yours. “oh, johnny! didnt see you there. if you dont mind, y/n and i have somewhere to be.” and then he led you away.

“why didn’t you call me?”

“surprise, isn’t it? i was intending not to come but i knew someone would want to hit on you.” he replied casually, pinky still wrapped around yours. “let’s get out of here while we can.”

as the two of you walked out, he put on a jacket, that smelt like him, on you. you gave him a look of bewilderment.

“yuta, it’s 30 degrees. i dont need your jacket.”

“just take it. this is in case i need an excuse to see your face again in the future.” you heartily laughed at him.

you would think he brought you to somewhere romantic, as you ran away from a formal event. instead he took you to a nearby fast food restaurant, claiming that that was the essence of a japanese trip. as he indulged himself in the cheeseburger, you felt a pang in your chest remembering how your journey with him had to end in a few hours. it was as if he could sense that you felt down. so being yuta, he tried turning the atmosphere around.

“this cheeseburger would taste wayyy better if someone wasn’t staring daggers onto the top of my pretty head.”

it didnt work, in case you’re guessing. it just made you feel worse because, damn you’re gonna miss this idiot. so in response, you shoved your milkshake away and groaned, so loudly it’s possible that the whole diner went silent because of you.

you peeked up and you saw him staring down at you with an eyebrow raised. you were so close to risking it all and confessing your feelings towards him but your ego wouldn’t let you do so. instead, you calmed your face and pretended as if nothing happened. it’s hard to do so especially when you saw how comfortable your legs intertwined under the table. even your sub-conscience wanted the both of you close.

the whole night was a blur. you remember subtle hand touching and embracing from both parties but nothing major happened. to be honest, you were beyond grateful. just a few more seconds before the coast was clear. you waved your goodbye to him. you tried to shut the door before you did anything stupid. but...you were too late.

“seriously? our last night together and that’s how you end it? do you have no heart or-“

“i’m sorry excuse me?”

“i think i was being pretty obvious with how i feel about you. i wouldnt have let you hold my hand for a prolonged period if i didnt like you, dont you think? if you expect me to give you a heartwarming confession, about how i’d love to spend more time with you and how i wouldnt mind if you’d like to date me, then you thought wrong.” you said in one breath.

“...”

“an ‘i like you too’ would help me not feel like an idiot.”

“urm, look, there’s a lot of things that i do like about you but i just dont think i can respond to your confession right now. i’m so sorry.” yuta replied softly.

and he left. this time he wasn’t late to leave.

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1.27pm

you still felt like an idiot. the moment you woke up, as you ate your breakfast, when you packed your luggage, the whole time you felt like one. and you couldnt blame anyone but yourself. when you looked around, it was as if japan was stripped off its beauty, now that the one thing you associate that with is no longer within your reach.

even as you were on the way to the airport, you felt like a complete fool. when you arrived in japan and got your uber, the first thing you saw when you lifted your head was a pretty shade of purple. your uber back to the airport had a view that was an awful scene of badly dyed hair. how in the world were you going to forget the fact that you ever met nakamoto yuta?

as you arrived at the airport, you were so reluctant to leave. every step you took felt like there was an anchor weighing you down. of course, you were being dramatic because all you did was give him a confession. but believe me, because its someone with an ego like yours, it’s the end of the world.

you were waiting for the lift when a man with blonde hair grabbed your luggage from your hands. and he began saying something incomprehensible. so you let out a loud ‘hmm?’.

“i need to return some of your things and take back what’s mine.” you hear a familiar voice. you didnt want to believe it but the minute you turned your head, there he was. nakamoto yuta. but being you, the first thing you responded was, “why are you blonde?”

he groaned and pulled you to the side before you could say anything else. instead of responding he returned the suit that you gave him, as well as the sportswear and even his headband. he took out his wallet to return you the money you paid him for the events. he rummaged through his bag to ensure he returned everything you gave him and then he paused, as if trying to process whether he was going to do it and he gave the look of surrender. he opened up your suitcase to take back his jacket and a part of you broke. you felt as if he didnt want to see you again.

but before you could even begin to feel sad, you saw him crouch in front of you, hands on your back and your calves. suddenly, you were lifted. you hit yuta’s chest and he calmly responded.

“i told you i’m taking back what’s mine.”

“did you suddenly watch a rom-com last night and decide that this is the best way to win back my heart? because it’s not working.” you sulked but he gave you an innocent look. you finally understood what being wrapped around someone’s finger felt like.

as you were nearing the exit, he put you down and held you with one hand, the other on the suitcase as he led you to his familiar car.

“i have a proposal to make in which i am expecting you to accept. i need someone...okay looking, who doesn’t need to have a car, to be my partner to introduce to my family.” yuta mocked. "you dont have to do much. just sit still, look pretty, so you might want to try a little.” then he looked at you and gave you his biggest smile as he mouthed “i’m sorry. please be my girlfriend.” there was no way you were able to say no.

and so he drove into the city of osaka, and you looked around only to realise, japan had never been stripped off its beauty. all that you saw was filtered by yuta, causing it to look ten times as beautiful. but thats the beauty of getting to know yuta because now life has never been more full of colour.

fin.

#nct scenarios #nct au #nct imagine #yuta scenarios #nct angst #nct fluff #nct 2019 #nct 127 #nct #yuta #nakamoto yuta #nct fic #yuta fic #ahhh i'm back!!#please give me love and enjoy this #i'll be back with more #thank you loves

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overthinkingkdrama · 6 years ago

Note

hi! love in sadness anon again. if you can rec some good melos i would be thankful.

[Oh my gosh, anon. I suck. Seriously. I’ve been trying to sit down and get this done from the moment I got your ask and I just haven’t been able to do it. Anyway, hopefully you see this. Thank you for your patience.]

Little do you know how long I have been waiting for this moment. This is my time to shine! Jk, but I would be happy to give recs. It’s a delight. I started going through my MDL and realized just how many dramas in this genre I have actually seen and realized I would probably have to trim my recommendations somewhat not to seem like a crazy person. Also I have subcategories! Yay!

(I’ve included the *** next to titles that I have watched multiple times or that stand out from the rest of the pack.)

First of all, Movie Melos.

Sometimes you don’t have time for 16-30 hours of drama. Sometimes you want to get all your feels out in a single sitting and move on with your life. That’s where movies are so helpful. My favorite bite-sized melos are:

Always*** – An ex-con trying to get his life together falls in love with a blind woman, but his efforts to help her recover her sight might drag him right back into the violence he’s tried to escape.

Shoot My Heart – A young heir is forced into a mental hospital by his rich family where he meets a disturbed young man. They become friends, try to protect each other, and eventually escape. This one has a bit more of a comedic element to it than the other movies I’m recommending, but there’s plenty of the melo tone as the movie goes on.

Will You Be There? – After finding out that he’s dying of cancer, a man travels through time to beg his younger self to save the life of his first love.

Butterfly Sleep – This is a Japanese movie, but it also stars Korean actor Kim Jae Wook, who recently got a boost in popularity from Her Private Life. The movie revolves around a poor young man from Korea who ends up living with an older woman, a novelist who has just discovered she is in the early stages of Alzheimer’s, and the passionate relationship that develops between the two as he helps her finish what will be her final book. #tragedy_tag

High Quality, Human Melodramas

So, this category is for if you want something with all the emotional gut punch of a really wild family drama, but you also want your melos to have actual artistic merit so when you tell your non-drama watching friends and family members about them they don’t end up losing respect for your taste.

Just Between Lovers – This is the story of two young people involved in and scarred by the same horrific accident, but survived and end up finding solace in one another as they deal with their combined traumas. If you’ve seen this drama around the kdramasphere on tumblr you might have seen a lot of gifs of the soft romance. Don’t be fooled though. The romance is indeed wonderful, but the themes are heavy and it can be rough sit.

My Mister*** – I really am just looking for every possible opportunity to recommend this drama. It has supplanted my former favorites and become my top drama of all time. It’s about two people, a troubled young woman in her 20′s and a structural engineer in his 40′s who have become beaten down and broken by life. Their two lives end up intersecting and they develop a really complex friendship that changes both of their lives. Acting, writing, directing…I have nothing bad to say about My Mister. This drama is actually perfect.

The Smile Has Left Your Eyes – Do you like your melos a bit murdery? I know I sure do. Give me a sociopath any day of the week and I’ll say, “Thank you. I’ll take two.” This drama is about a young man who might be a monster. He becomes a detectives prime suspect in a murder investigation. At the same time he meets the detectives younger sister and they begin to fall in love. #tragedy_tag If this sounds like your thing, but you don’t like super sad endings check out Hello Monster, also starring Seo In Guk.

Secret Love Affair – I think it’s probably safe to say this drama is considered a modern kdrama classic, and for good reason. A story revolving around a woman who gave up her dreams for security, trapped in a loveless marriage, who meets a piano savant from an extremely underprivileged background and he sets off a spark for passion, music and love that she hasn’t felt in a long time. This is a quiet, pensive drama with a lot of wonderful music and atmosphere. YMMV depending on your tolerance for cheating and a slow-burn pace.

Alright, Cut the Crap Jona, Show Me the Extra Soapy Guilty Pleasure Dramas We All Know You Like…

Maybe you don’t go in for this type of self-conscious, “serious” drama watching. You’re going to watch these things in the sanctity of your own room and never tell a soul about them. Or perhaps you’ve evolved past needing other people’s approval to enjoy the things you like. Good for you, I say! As it should be. In that case, I have some top shelf makjang crack to deal you. This is the part of the list where the sliding scale of quality gets a little wobbly. Most of these shows contain a little, if not a lot, of crazysauce. All of them are over-the-top melo fun.

Baker King Kim Tak Gu – A drama about the illegitimate son of a conglomerate CEO who has inherited his preternatural baking abilities looking for his place in a family that will never acknowledge him. Yeah, the premise is pretty “what”? When I first watched this drama I thought it was supposed to be a satire of the makjang genre. To this day I’m not sure how seriously this drama actually takes itself. What I will say is it’s hella entertaining, even as it piles on more than it’s share of craziness (machinations, murder, affairs, chaebol fuckery, love polygons, gangsters, birth secrets, and on and on.) I was surprisingly invested and remarkably satisfied by the ending.

Ms. Perfect – This drama is something of a gothic romance/makjang melo mash up. It involves a woman whose marriage shatters just as she loses her home and finds herself desperate to take care of her family. She’s enticed by a mysterious woman to live with her in her huge house, but this stranger has eerie motivations of her own. Really fun, weird show. But brace yourself to be blue-balled by the romance. It’s one steamy make out session from being noona-romance catnip.

Money Flower*** – I unironically love this drama. It’s very close to the platonic ideal of the Revenge Melo. It involves a Dantes-esque male lead, Kang Pil Joo, who is willing to destroy himself to enact his multi-decade revenge on a wealthy family that took everything from him. He is the shadow of a spoiled young heir who he plans to use to take down the whole evil empire of Chungha group, but in order to do that he has to orchestrate the heir’s marriage with the innocent daughter of a powerful politician, the woman who Pil Joo himself is in love with.

That Winter, The Wind Blows – This one is a lurid conman tail about a gambler who, in his attempts to pay back a dangerous gangster out for his life, pretends to be the prodigal brother of a blind heiress. He tries to get the money and skip town, but ends up falling in love with the mark which comes with a host of other complications, not the least of which is she thinks he’s her brother. This one is high on the guilty-pleasure-o-meter for me.

Come and Hug Me – Some people might disagree with my putting this one on here, but for me the premise is too wildly melodramatic to omit. The leads start out as childhood sweethearts, but the problem is his father is a deranged serial killer and her parents end up two of his victims. As adults he becomes a detective trying to make up for his father’s legacy of cruelty and she becomes a famous actress like her mother. Traumas resurface when she becomes the target of an apparent copycat and their past connection becomes the fixation of a ruthless tabloid journalist.

Thank You – After his fiancee dies of cancer, a Doctor travels to a remote island to fulfill her last wish–to help the family of a little girl the late fiancee was responsible for inadvertently infecting with HIV. Unexpectedly he finds himself attracted to the girl’s single mother. However, he will have to contend with the prejudices of the island people about AIDS and the reappearance with the girl’s father. This one is as heavy as it sounds, and the oldest drama on this list, from 2007, with all the idiosyncrasies that go along with older dramas. But it’s remarkably well done. From the same writer of a bunch of classic melodramas (I’m Sorry, I Love You; A Love To Kill; Innocent Man; Uncontrollably Fond, etc) but this is my personal favorite of hers.

The Last Empress – Okay, I couldn’t omit this one. I tried. Average musical actress Oh Sunny winds up married to the Emperor in an alternate history version of Korea and becomes embroiled in the machinations of the corrupt royal family. With a nice side helping of revenge plot. It’s demonstrably not a good show. It’s one of the most ridiculous things I’ve ever seen. But it had me hooked early on and then I couldn’t get myself free. What a magnificent train wreck this drama was. If you’re looking for problematic nonsense melos that were MASSIVE hits in Korea and you’re torn between this and Baker King, go with the silly bread show and keep this one in your back pocket.

Fated to Love You – This one is probably the most off-brand on the list, because it leans heavily on the comedic tone, especially for the first half. There’s a definite turn at the midpoint of the drama where it becomes MUCH more melodramatic (with all the tropes you expect to go along with that), but I think it pulls of the transition impressively well. Besides, it’s a fun watch with a fluffy feelgood ending with a bow on top. It’s a dash of sugar for your melodrama sojourn, a genre that admittedly can be a bit of a bummer.

There it is. I tried to do an extra good job with my list because it took me so long to get it out. I’m sorry again. Happy watching!

Jona

#kdrama recs #answered #melodramas

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fucknofortunato · 5 years ago

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A Real Long Rant about Goals or Andrew Talks Forever About His Past

I absolutely love playing Dungeons & Dragons and I really really enjoyed working at the Disney Theme Park. I think my love for both of these things comes out of the fact that they are the closest I’ve come to voice acting. Dungeons & Dragons combines my two aspirations in life which is to write and voice act, resulting in a usually somewhat fun experience of a game and getting to express myself in the ways I truly want to. I get to craft a story and get real-time feedback on it as the players either get invested or look for other things to do. But alas, this is not about Dungeons & Dragons.

The thing with Disney was that I didn’t want to be the carnival barker. It was a scary thought that I wanted to avoid and tried to just end up being a cashier. Being a cashier was my comfort zone, but I soon found that being a cashier inside a theme park was a far far different experience than what I had done before. My comfort zone was more so just an uncomfortable area where I was pretty aware of what needed to be done. Then they put me out on the carnival barker area and almost instantly, everything I feared faded away. I just had to be silly, shout out to people, and announce what was going on. This was essentially voice acting out into the abyss, where every so often someone catches wind and comes along.

As time moves on, every day I feel I am either distracting myself or locking eyes with the fear of failure. This fear glares into my very soul and paralyzes me, making me feel truly inadequate and unsure of what I should do next. If there are several options before me, which one do I actually choose? Will someone help me? Have I already chosen wrong?

Almost my entire life has been feeling like I’m racing the clock. Many of my dreams have been cast to the side now and it’s steadily feeling like I’ve given up on so much more. I’ve written about this before, but I feel like I’m standing before a tree bearing fruits that show my future. It was a theme explored in Aziz Ansari’s Master of None show on Netflix. Except, I’m constantly feeling like I’m misreading the fruits. They show a potential future for me if I choose to pluck out and grab it, but I don’t think I can actually grab it. When I was young and plucky, this tree was full of so many fruits. Drawing comic books, writing cartoons, being an astronaut, being a pilot, becoming a star chef, travelling the world, being an actor, being a voice actor, and probably more that I’ve since forgotten. Several times I’ve written out little guides at 3am in the morning, unable to find the respite of sleep and turning to my computer to try and map out a path to follow to achieve as much as possible.

For those of you that are reading this and know that feeling all too well, you’re probably aware that it’s essentially the New Year’s Resolution but set at any point of the year. In about a week, or god forbid even the next morning, that entire train of motivation has run out of stream and stopped short on the tracks. I’ve since learned that I don’t truly have the motivation to cultivate my hand at art and nor do I have the skill to consistently draw. I wanted to illustrate and make comics, but I’ve come to learn that I just enjoy the story crafting of it more. Writing has become a hobby that I barely touch, if but only because it should be a craft I love and not a device to become famous. I’m not particularly talented at writing up articles or on a moment’s notice. I leave many projects unfinished and start Writing Prompts only to never finish them unless given a deadline. Even then, that shorts out after a bit. I love the feeling of being on a plane and enjoy being up in the sky, but being a pilot isn’t necessarily on my list anymore. Being a flight attendant still sounds nice, but that’s supposed to be my fallback. It’s a dream job for travelling and something I truly want to do, but there’s something I want to do more. A craft I really love and would love to keep doing. I want to Voice Act.

I still want to express my voice and give life to characters. A long long time ago, my friend was talking about the people in our group of friends that did Dungeon Mastering. He said that I might not have the greatest battles or dungeons, but when I spoke, I brought my characters to life. That they enjoyed the menagerie of people I would present them with. That’s something I’ve always held close to my chest and probably the time I realized that DMing was just an outlet for me to practice Voice Acting.

I went through a long stint of no longer playing D&D. Friends moved on to a better dungeon master, I moved away (not far, but an inconvenient distance), and had a job that conflicted with my scheduling. I found a new group online and found that I was now entirely limited to express myself only by voice.

Alright, I kinda rambled a bunch of stuff there and the steam of it is starting to fade, but the point of the matter is that I’m back at that tree again. Every year I feel like I’m getting incredibly close to the hourglass running empty. I wanted to try and break into Voice Acting in my early 20′s and I had a plan to run off and give it a shot. Of course, in the end I chose not to and I did it for the dumbest reasons. I was going to join something called Americorp, which would have sent me across America and helped communities. More importantly, it would have made me deal with all sorts of people and truly expand my network of those I know. The plan was to try and join the military, a third attempt, afterwards to see if I could finally get in, have a potential career path, and pay for college.

At the last minute, a combination of abandoning a crush and the joy of getting my first apartment with some friends caused me to abandon the idea. It felt like a tough decision and I knew I had weighed it improperly. I had been approved and all I had to do was say yes and it would have been about a year of work. There’s an age limit to Americorp and I had literally just squeezed in under it. So I chose not to and now I’ll never have an opportunity like that again. But it’s okay because there’s so many people out there that have never done it and never will and they get along fine. Living on regrets is not a way to live.

After a year in the apartment, I further discovered it was truly one of the biggest mistakes I’ve ever made. I made a new really good friend, but I lost an older good one and found out a whole group of the new friends I had made weren’t true friends and were very temporary. I found love out of the situation at least and that made me a little more happy in this future to settle with. I decided to abandon my dreams of escape, a combination of fear and keeping the status quo.Yet as time went on, I constantly found myself at the crossroads. This time, every decision meant leaving the tree and standing before the tree itself was now a choice I hadn’t considered. I thought maybe I could still stay here and find something that spoke to me. I thought maybe I could live here and still travel out to another job, that being a flight attendant could do it.

My ego would be struck a fatal blow as I finally put as much effort as I could muster into it to discover I don’t have what it takes. All the flight agencies were taking on new Flight Attendants but I was no longer desirable, if I had ever been. My age was catching up with me. My mistakes were haunting me. I am once again at that tree, but now I’m starting to see I’ve taken roots. I need to break them.

I need to break my roots, I need to break free, I need to take risks, I need to stop writing about what I need to do and I need to just do it. I need to decide if I want to go into the Military if this time works. I need to decide if I want to just up and move to the middle of nowhere to try and make new roots and just go full blown non-stop machine pursuing that career of voice acting. I still want to go to college, but do I have time? Can I postpone it another 4 years? Can I go to college in California, Washington, or New York? I need to practice, I need to make demos, I need to network and watch for openings. I need to do something and I need motivation. How do you gain motivation?

I feel like I don’t know what to do because in life there are no right answers. I mean, at some points there were right answers and I chose wrong. I waited way too long to truly wake up to what I’ve been sitting on. At this age, can I escape my burnout? No solution is a happy solution. I hurt myself or I hurt others, there’s never a scenario that hurts no one. I hate being on a plan when I’m never solid in what I want. Except to Voice Act. I may have given up sometimes, but not because I don’t want to Voice Act, but because I feel like I can’t professionally. I don’t want to make a ton of money, I just want to enjoy making art and doing voices and have a place I can comfortably call home. I want to belong somewhere. I need my motivation to stay alive. I need to practice and not worry about other people seeing it as something to be part of. To jump in and bother and subtract from what I’m doing. I want to just speak aloud. Like when I play D&D.

#rant #voice acting #dungeons and dragons #art #goals #life #what do i do

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fatui-harbingers · 6 years ago

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[28]

I was tagged by @thesilverrqueen thanks so much!

1. How tall are you?

5’1/154 cm (I’m trusting google here lol)

2. What color and style is your hair?

My natural color is this wannabe brown with sorta limp waves but most of my hair is blonde right now but I’ve got a couple months worth of roots showing. I sometimes straighten it or curl it, depending on where I’m going but I mostly just let it be.

3. What color are your eyes?

Hazel! Very green and yellow, you can barely see the brown sometimes.

4. Do you wear glasses?

Yes, and I have contacts too.

5. Do you wear braces?

Not atm. There’s a chance I’ll get them in the near future though

6. What is your fashion style?

It’s really fluid. I have all sorts of stuff in my closet but I mostly go out in more casual clothes. I have a pretty strict dad so my options to go out in are pretty limited, especially in the summer.

7. Full name?

Kaylee Morgan is all I’m gonna share, just to be safe. (Morgan is my middle name, obviously)

8. When were you born?

January 1st 2001

9. Where are you from and where do you live now?

Jasper, AL, USA. I grew up not far from there but I live in Jasper now.

10. What school do you go to?

I’m homeschooled, technically so I just chill at home and learn at my own pace

11. What kind of student are you?

No idea how to answer that bc I’m my own teacher lol. I’m just better at learning on my own

12. Do you like school?

Not the best, not the worst, if this means schoolwork too

13. What are your favorite school subjects?

History is mostly all I enjoy now

14. Favorite TV shows?

Game of Thrones, even though this last season is crap

Killing Eve

911

The Good Doctor

Charmed (the reboot)

Riverdale (it’s finally doing better imo)

15. Favorite movies?

The Conjuring

Insidious (the whole series)

Pirates of the Caribbean (idk which ones I didn’t like but I love the series as a whole)

The Hobbit (I just really loved them. I don’t remember much of Lord of the Rings so I should probably rewatch them)

16. Favorite books?

Sex With Kings (I don’t remember who it was by but it was cool to learn about all the women behind the scenes)

The Divergent series, even though it broke my heart

A Song of Ice and Fire series is pretty good so far, though I’m barely in the first book. I already enjoy the way it’s written, lol. I can tell when I’m gonna love something like a detailed fantasy series!

17. Favorite pastime?

Reading up on politics, learning some history, scrolling through Tumblr, listening to music, and writing when I feel like it

18. Do you have any regrets?

Yes, but I only think of specific ones when trying to sleep at 3 am

19. Dream job?

Acting! Idc about fame much but acting is my dream job for sure

20. Would you like to get married someday?

I’m weird about marriage. I would only marry a man if he would change his name to mine bc men need to change their names too instead of expecting women to always give in to one of the most misogynistic and patriarchal traditions but I don’t see that happening tbh. I would probably marry a woman (or anyone that’s not a man) bc I would feel super guilty knowing that people fought so hard for marriage equality, only for me to not marry my partner. I personally view marriage for what it was (and still is imo), a business contract so it’s never been something I cared about, even when I was little.

21. Would you like to have kids someday?

I would, actually. I’ve been thinking about it a lot recently. I would do it maybe in my late 20s or early 30s bc I feel I would be best prepared then. I would love to have a daughter, that would make me so happy but, if climate change is not properly handled, I’m not having children. It’s incredibly selfish to bring a child into a doomed world for your own personal happiness imo. But I’ll be 29 in 2030 so I’m sure we’ll know by then!

(I didn’t see a 22 so I’m not sure what it was)

23. Do you like shopping?

Sometimes yes, sometimes no. Depends on my mood and how much sleep I got, lol.

24. What countries have you visited?

None, unfortunately. I’ve barely even been out of my state!

25. What’s the scariest nightmare you’ve ever had?

The most recent one I had was in the last place we lived. I dreamed there was a demon (in the form of a dark purple orb) in one of the corners of my room. Took me forever to fall asleep again. Another one I had when I was 13 was that yellow jackets were drilling into my room after I got a bad bee sting (under my eye!) and we found out that they had been drilling into my sisters room. The one I remember the most was from when I was really little. I dreamed Voldemort came to kill my whole family and we all played dead till he left us alone, lol.

26. Do you have any enemies?

Not that I know of! I do have people I consider enemies but they don’t know it yet (my family)

27. Do you have an s/o?

No, and that’s for the best!

28. Do you believe in miracles?

I’m gonna go with yes bc I can’t really say no either, lol

Tagging @livelaughdracarys @enygma0710 @sweetiepie08 @ktwrites @tidustargaryen @thescarletgarden1990 @danerystarg and anyone else that wants to do this! And of course, ignore if you’ve already done it or don’t want to do it at all!

#personal #about me #tag games #tag game

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somerandomwriter1234 · 6 years ago

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Riley and Maya: I Think I Wanna Marry You - Chapter 12 (Summer Camp Counselors Part 2)

*Author’s Note - Just know this story continues at first to be silly like the previous chapter and then takes a dramatic turn. Before anyone says this turn was just done for dramatic effect, just know this chapter and the next was based on a real event that happened to me at summer camp. Just saying.

The next day at camp, Riley was walking out of the woods as she said, "Okay girls. I found a great spot where we can make a camp fire and..." Riley then saw all of the preteen girls were swimming in the water with their clothes on as they splashed around and played games. Riley then walked over to Maya who was watching them and then said, "Maya. We were supposed to be finding wood for a camp fire." Maya then said, "I know. But Stacy tripped in the water, and then some of the other girls jumped in after her and... well, they just decided to start playing around." Riley sighed and then said, "Maya, we have a schedule to keep. We just can't do whatever we feel like doing." Maya then said, "Riley, relax. Sometimes you just have to go with the flow. Kids' lives are already structured enough. If you don't let kids try new things of their own choosing, they're never going to find their own identity. Just let them play for awhile, and then we'll maybe do your camp fire thing if nothing else comes up." One of the girls from the water then yelled, "Maya! Watch me do a hand stand!" Maya smiled as she said, "Wow. That looks great Rory!" Riley then raised an eyebrow and said, "How come you're the favorite counselor Maya? You didn't even think you were gonna like working here." Maya then said, "Eh. Things change. I guess I have a good natural ability to take care of kids. I did take care of you all those years didn't I?" Riley then made a small smile as she said, "Well... yeah, you did."

A few minutes later Riley was sitting on the beach by herself watching the young girls play in the water. One of the young girls then sat next to Riley and said, "Hey Miss Riley. Watcha doing?" Riley then said, "Just keeping an eye on you girls. And you can call me just Riley. So... you enjoying your summer so far Lauryn?" The preteen girl Lauryn then said, "Yeah. It's okay." Riley then said, "So... is this your first summer at this camp?" Lauryn then said, "Yeah. Last year I went to a history camp but I couldn't go this year because it shut down because not enough kids signed up." Riley then said, "You're into history?" Lauryn then said, "Yeah. Like early American history. I started getting into it when I was little reading those American Girl books, but then I wanted to go further so I started reading lots of textbooks. My friends at school think I'm weird that I collect textbooks." Riley then said, "Well they're missing out. History is a really cool topic. My dad teaches history. He always makes me bring a few history books when I go on a vacation or to camp. I actually have some of them if you want to read them later." An excited Lauryn then said, "Really? Yeah! That be cool!"

Hours later as darkness began to take over the sky, Riley and Maya were both carrying two jugs of water back to their cabin together as they talked. As they moved Riley said, "So I gave Lauryn those textbooks later and she was so happy. And it was all thanks to you Maya." A confused looking Maya said, "Me? Why am I responsible?" Riley then said, "Honestly... stopping to actually talk to these girls and find out what their interests are was never really on my detailed schedule of camp activities. By breaking free of the plan, I was able to get to know my campers better and provide one of them something that could actually help her in her interests and passions." Maya then said, "You see Riley. Sometimes you just gotta let loose and let the unstructured world do it's thing." Riley then said, "You're right Maya. For the rest of the evening, no more structure. Just let things go with the flow."

About an hour later: the preteen girls were all in sleepwear attire sitting around the cabin floor as one of the girls excitedly said, "So lets talk about boys." Some of the girls began to giggle as one of them said, "Okay. If you were going to have babies with one of the boys back at school, who would it be?" Riley and Maya who were sitting nearby heard what was going on and with wide eyes Riley began to sit up and said, "Okay girls. Maybe we should instead..." Maya then put a hand on Riley's shoulder and said, "Come on Riley. You said no more structure tonight. Just let things go with the flow. They'll be fine." Riley sighed and then said, "Carry on." One of the girls then said, "Okay. If I had to pick one boy here, it be... Bobby!" All of the girls began to giggle as one of them said, "No way. Well I would pick Edward. He's so tall and so hot." Then another girl said, "Well Edward may look nice, but Mark gives way better compliments. When I sent him pics of me in my new bra, he wrote the longest message telling me hot I looked. What about you Miriam?" The other girl Miriam then said, "I would so do it with Tommy. He liked this topless picture I sent him two weeks ago so much, that he actually asked me to send selfies of myself in the shower." Another girl then said, "No way? You mean you did a naked selfie?" Miriam then said, "No. I had lots of thick shampoo covering my body. But he may be getting a full frontal soon if he keeps being nice." Then another girl said, "Well I finally did a mirror shot of my back and butt and sent it to Johnny last week and he said he fapped so much to it, it made him..."

Suddenly Maya stood up and yelled, "HOLD ON! What is going here!?" The girls started to look a little startled as Miriam said, "We're just talking about boys Maya." Maya then said, "Yeah but... are you girls being serious!? Is this really how preteen girls and boys act nowadays? I mean I'm only 20 years old and things couldn't have changed that much since I was kid." Ryan then said, "Well, I mean, we're just talking about how we flirt Maya." Maya then said, "What you're talking about is NOT flirting! Flirting is making smiles and falling down near the person you like and asking them to help you up and giggling at them and asking coyly to sit with you at lunch and... basically NOT what you girls are doing!" Miriam then said, "Well maybe that's how girls flirted back in the day Maya but we're talking about how girls let people know they're in love with them today." Maya then said, "No Miriam. Getting a picture from someone that showcases their underwear or their butt does make them NOT make them think you're in love with them. You wanna know how I know what real love looks like?" Maya then grabbed Riley's hand and said, "Girls, this is my best friend Riley. She loves me. I know because growing up she invited me to her house all the time. She let me climb into her bedroom through a window whenever I wanted to just to talk. She tried to help me build a better relationship with my mom. She helped fight to keep the art program alive at our old middle school so I could continue pursuing my passion. And she actually set up an incredibly complicated plan to get her father's best friend and my mom to hook up so I could finally for the first time in my life: have a father who cared about me. That girls is the greatest example of a person who loves you. And because of how much she loves me, I in turn would do anything for her. I wouldn't do anything for just some random person who sends me some digital hoots and hollers at me because of how I look in a photo. My body is too good for that. And girls, your bodies are too good for that. And tomorrow, we're gonna do some sport activities so you all can experience that your bodies can do far more than just pose for the camera. Now go to bed and think about what I said!" All of the preteen girls then instantly jumped into their beds and turned out the lights. Riley then got up and stood next to Maya and put a hand on her shoulder. Riley then said, "Maya, I... I've never seen you get so..." Maya then said, "I'm okay. I'm okay." Riley then said, "So... I guess you're gonna start preparing tomorrow's agenda then?" Maya smirked and said, "Yeah. You know what Riley... as much as free time and going with the flow is nice... I'm starting to think a little structure for these girls actually wouldn't be so bad."

TO BE CONTINUED...

Upcoming Chapters For the Series:

-Chapter 13: Summer Camp Counselors Part 3 of 3 (Coming 4/7)

-A New Saga in the Riley and Maya Married Life Begins (Coming 4/14)

*Note - To read the entire series in one convenient location, click here - https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13229693/

#girl meets world #girl meets world fanfiction #rilaya #riley and maya #riley x maya #rilaya married

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roselukes · 6 years ago

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2800 Miles - Chapter 3 - l.h.

Previously

Summary: Luke knows what he wants, but he also knows he can’t have it

Tag List: @sassy-asht0n @happycrimiscalum @rosesarered516 @hoe4hemmo @heartbreakashton94 @climatehood @calumspeachy @dukehoods @holidayhood @wrappedaroundcal @mistletoemichael @plainwhiteluke @irwinkitten @irrevocablylukes @astroashtonio @catchinqcalum @irwinvalentines @hollyjollyhood @biggestslutforcalum @calumhampton @angelmikeyy @hotmessmichael @curlyhairedpopstars @meloncal @lukeschestnuts @thecashtonexpress @calsjackets @boytoynamedcalum @alyssarester @ssophisticated-simplicityy @calistajs

Disclaimer: plot was inspired by the app Choices’ story The Royal Romance

The night went on and Gwen was getting antsy. She had been sitting at the table for nearly two hours before Luke finally arrived at the ball. “Well, the prince sure is fashionably late.” Michael laughed.

“The prince is never late, everyone else is simply early.” Gwen said, smiling a little.

“Are you trying to quote Princess Diaries?” Michael laughed harder.

“I’m not trying, I’m succeeding.” Gwen pouted, kicking his shin lightly.

“Okay, you two, cut it out.” Ashton rolled his eyes playfully. “Gwen, you need to get ready to meet the prince. First impressions are incredibly important.”

“But, he already knows me?” Gwen furrowed her eyebrows.

“Yes, but no one else here knows that. And, they can’t know that.” Michael added. “People need to think you’re freshmeat like everyone else.”

“Okay, okay.” Gwen sighed and stood up. “He probably won’t even remember me.”

“It’s been a day, Gwen. He’s gonna remember you.” Calum laughed. “Go get in line.” Gwen stuck her tongue out at him and walked over to the forming line of suitors. She stood behind Alyssa with Hattie behind her.

“I hope you don’t think you’ll actually win this. You have no chance with the prince.” Alyssa smirked. “I’ve known him since we were kids. I have the strongest relationship with him out of everyone here.”

“Sure you do, Cruella.” Gwen rolled her eyes. She crossed her arms and watched as the suitors talked with Luke. Alyssa walked up to Luke and kissed both of his cheeks.

“Lovely to see you again, Lukey. Hope we find a time to dance tonight, I know how much you love dancing with me.” Alyssa giggled and squeezed his hands.

“Yes, I’m sure we’ll get the chance to dance tonight.” Luke assured her. “Always a pleasure, Lady Alyssa.” The guards ushered her away, just as they had done with those before her.

“Hey there.” Gwen smiled as she walked up to Luke.

“Oh, my God. Gwen, what are you doing here?” Luke asked, his eyes lighting up.

“Michael’s family is sponsoring me, so you’ll be seeing more of me here.” Gwen giggled. Luke grinned widely and pressed a soft kiss to Gwen’s knuckles.

“We don’t have much time here, so promise you’ll save the last dance for me?” Luke asked, holding her hand close to his chest.

“Absolutely.” Gwen smiled and squeezed his hand as the guards ushered her away. Gwen couldn’t keep the smile off her face as she walked back to her table.

“Gwen, you didn’t tell me you knew the prince.” Hattie gasped.

“I met him in New York, but keep that on the DL. I don’t need speculation about my motives here.” Gwen whispered.

“You can tell me about it later, but I should go find Holden. I’ll see you later.” Gwen nodded and watched Hattie walk away.

“This is so crazy.” Gwen shook her head. “All of these girls are here in hopes of marrying the prince?”

“He has hella money and the highest authority in Australia. Of course, they want to marry him.” Ashton laughed.

“Well, I’d marry him even if he was the one working in a rundown bar in New York.” Gwen huffed and took a bite of another scone.

“That doesn’t matter here. He’s going to choose someone who can run a kingdom with him, regardless if he loves her or not. Love has nothing to do with managing a kingdom.” Michael sighed.

“It’s not fair.” Gwen mumbled with her mouth full.

“Hey, will you act like you’re supposed to be here? Stop eating so much, and stop talking with your mouth full.” Michael groaned, pulling the scone away from her.

“I’m sorry, I’m hungry.” Gwen crossed her arms.

“If you’re gonna eat, eat some vegetables or something. Something that won’t make people think you’re fat. Nobility always keep their image in mind. Image is everything.” Michael explained.

“Look, I’m not gonna stop eating. These people can say whatever the hell they want about me, but I’m not gonna change who I am.”

“You’re gonna have to change, if you want to become queen.” Calum added.

“Maybe I don’t want to be queen. I just want to make Luke happy, and me being here, is making him happy.” Gwen stood up quickly and walked away from the table.

“She has a point. Luke doesn’t look as miserable as he did when he came in.” Ashton mentioned.

“Yeah, but still. She needs to try and fit in.” Michael crossed his arms. Gwen walked to the bathroom and looked at herself in the mirror.

“Checking to make sure you look good enough for the prince? Let me help: you don’t.” Alyssa laughed as she came out of one of the stalls. She looked at Gwen as she began washing her hands. “I don’t like you, but I’ll still give you some advice. If you want to impress the prince, wear red. Also, ditch all the earrings. He’s not into body art or excessive piercings.”

“And, why should I believe you?” Gwen rolled her eyes.

“Because, I know the prince better than anyone else here. If I don’t get to marry him, it should be someone like me, and that person is you.” Alyssa dried her hands and fixed her hair in the mirror. “You also might want to try exercising. You’re looking a little pudgy.” Gwen frowned and looked down at her stomach as Alyssa walked out of the bathroom. Tears filled her eyes as she rubbed her hand over her stomach. She took a deep breath to try an compose herself before walking out of the bathroom.

“There you are, I’ve been looking for you. It’s almost time for the last dance, and you haven’t danced with Luke yet.” Michael said as he walked over to her. Michael furrowed his eyebrows as he saw the tears in Gwen’s eyes. “Gwen, what’s wrong?”

“I’m fat, that’s what’s wrong. I don’t belong here with these women.” Gwen sniffled.

“Hey, is this about what I said? I’m so sorry, Gwen. I didn’t mean to make you think you were fat, that’s not at all what I was trying to say. I just said it so you’d think more about how people saw you, not that you need to watch your weight.”

“It’s Alyssa. She said she was giving me advice, and she told me to exercise because I’m pudgy.”

“No, you’re not pudgy. Gwen, you are beautiful. You belong here just as much as anyone else.” Michael sighed. “Don’t listen to anything Alyssa says. Ever. About anything.” Gwen nodded and wiped her eyes. “Now, go dance with your prince.” Michael pushed her in the direction of the ballroom. Gwen shook her head and walked back into the ballroom.

“Gwen, there you are. It’s time for our dance.” Luke grinned, grabbing her hands.

“You should know, I don’t know how to dance.” Gwen smiled and placed her hand on his shoulder.

“Just let me lead you through it.” Luke smiled and pulled her body close to his. He kept his hand on her lower back as he swayed along to the music.

“I wish we could be alone.” Gwen sighed, running her fingers through his hair.

“I do too. There’s so much here that I wish I could show you.” Luke leaned his forehead against hers. She smiled softly and continued to sway with Luke. He squeezed her hip gently before leading her out to the balcony.

“What are we doing out here?” Gwen asked, looking up at Luke.

“Getting some alone time.” Luke chuckled and wrapped his arms around her waist from behind. Gwen smiled and leaned back against him as she looked out at the view of the garden.

“This view is beautiful.” She hummed, and looked up at Luke.

“The boys and I used to spend all summer out in the garden. We used to always go swimming in the fountain.” Luke laughed at the memory.

“You mean, you used to have fun?” Gwen joked, nudging his side.

“I always have fun.” Luke pouted. “Especially when I don’t have to be royalty.” The two of them stood out on the balcony for what felt like hours, but was only minutes. “We should get back in there. My father’s gonna do the closing remarks.” Gwen nodded and followed him back into the ballroom.

“Meet me in the garden in 20 minutes.” Gwen whispered to him before walking back to the boys.

“What were you and the prince doing on the balcony?” Hattie asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Just talking, looking at the view, enjoying each other’s company.” Gwen shrugged.

“He keeps looking at you. I think he really likes you.” Hattie giggled, making Gwen blushed.

“We have chemistry.” Gwen smiled softly. She took a seat next to Hattie as the king gave the ending remarks.

“Alright, I’ll see you in the morning for the derby. Have a good night, Gwen.” Hana smiled as she exited the ballroom with the other suitors and guests.

“There’s a derby tomorrow?” Gwen looked at Michael.

“Yeah, that’s one of the events. There’s a derby and then a picnic.” Michael explained.

“Great, I get to watch horses run.” Gwen rolled her eyes.

“Hey, you’ll be meeting the queen tomorrow. So, be on your best behavior and make sure you’re prepared to try and impress her.” Michael crossed his arms. “It’s important that she likes you, so promise me you’ll behave.”

“Fine, I promise.”

“Alright, now go get some sleep. Tomorrow’s a big day.” Gwen nodded and stood up, leaving the room. Instead of heading to her room, she walked outside to the garden. She took a seat on one of the benches and waited. She waited for nearly 10 minutes before Luke finally showed up.

“I was beginning to think you weren’t coming.” Gwen smiled and stood up.

“I’m a prince, it’s hard to sneak away.” Luke smiled and wrapped his arms around her waist. “Has anyone told you how beautiful you are?”

“No, tell me more.” Gwen giggled and wrapped her arms around his neck.

“I couldn’t keep my eyes off you all night.” Luke chuckled, pulling her closer. “I’d never seen anyone so beautiful before in my life.”

“You’re full of shit.” Gwen laughed and kissed his cheek. She let go of him and walked over to the fountain. “So, you really swam in here?”

“Yeah, it’s 5 feet deep.” Luke smiled and sat on the edge of the fountain.

“Who makes a fountain 5 feet deep?” Gwen laughed and sat next to him.

“My mother.” Luke smiled. “My mother loved this garden. She spent all of her time here, and when I’m out here, it’s like she’s still with me.”

“How did she die? If you don’t mind me asking..”

“I-it’s a difficult story..” Luke sighed and looked down at his hands. “What about your parents?”

“Both of my parents were addicts. That was really the only thing they had in common. They met at narcotics anonymous and made me. They were picking up their next fix when the dealer shot them both. He apparently thought they were narcs.” Gwen sighed. “When I turned 18, the orphanage gave me the case file on them. I didn’t know anything about them until I was 18.”

“I’m sorry, that must have been incredibly difficult.” Luke sighed, holding her hand.

“I wish I could say it made me upset, but I was only 4 months old when they died. So, I don’t remember them at all. I couldn’t say anything about them.”

“Let’s talk about something happier.” Luke sighed and squeezed her hand. “Did you enjoy the night?”

“I enjoyed everything up until Alyssa called me fat, but then dancing with you made everything better.” Gwen smiled softly.

“Alyssa is a stone cold bitch, but she was once my best friend. She used to live here with us, you know.”

“Yeah, she doesn’t let anyone forget.” Gwen rolled her eyes.

“You’ll get used to her.” Luke sighed. “So, why did you want to meet here?”

“For some real alone time. I flew all the way from New York to be here, so I’m gonna get as much alone time as I can get with you, even if it means I lose sleep.”

“You know, people usually want to hang out with Prince Luke, but you just want to hang out with Luke. You’ll never know how happy that makes me.”

“To me, you’ll always be just Luke. That’s why I can do this.” Gwen smirked and pushed Luke into the water.

“Gwen!” Luke yelled, laughing as he wiped the water from his face. “I’m in a suit.”

“And, I’m in a dress.” Gwen giggled and jumped in. Luke laughed and pulled her close.

“You are crazy, Guinevere.”

“Crazy for you.” She giggled and wrapped her arms around his neck. Luke grinned and pressed his lips to hers. Her lips molded against his in a deep kiss.

“I’ve wanted to do this all night.”

“That makes two of us.” Gwen smiled and kissed him again.

#5sos #5 seconds of summer #luke hemmings #5sos smut #5sos writing #5sos imagine #5sos fanfic #5sos fic #fanfic #imagines #imagine #my writing #calum hood #michael clifford #ashton irwin

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