#may your fanfiction be extra smutty this week | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

drakewalkerfantasy · 4 years

Text

Giving in. (Eleventh Doctor x Clara Oswald)

A Doctor Who fanfiction for #WhouffleWeek2020

Day 1: Jealousy / “How does that feel?”

Pairing: Eleventh Doctor x Clara Oswald

Not sure if anyone would be interested so just tagging my lovely and amazing and very supportive friend here: @choices-bound

I hope you will enjoy it.

Summary: After Clara being late for their usual Wednesday's adventures the Doctor becomes very jealous of what he have accidentally witnessed outside TARDIS' doors. Will he finally admit of being jealous and will act on his feelings that he is developing to his pretty companion? Or will he lie making the distance between them even bigger? And will he finally Give in as he promised once upon a time to another Clara, in Victorian London. And could this promise hold completely different meaning this time...

Words: 3189

A/N: I’m not sure who want to be tagged. This fic probably completely rubbish... but I wrote and rewrote 100% and I know I can do better, if I would have month or two to write and if my little baby wouldn't interup. But hope you will enjoy it a little bit at least :)

**Warnings: slightly angsty / SMUTTY / 18+ / NSFW / MATURE**

“What got into you,” finally asked Clara, when the tension became unbearable to handle. Her eyes were on Doctor watching him to pace around the console panel, mumbling something under his breath that she couldn’t quite catch. His movements sharp and precise, pulling levers and pressing buttons with unnecessary force. His body stiff and his hands moving sporadically, while he paced quickly around the panel not saying even a single word to her.

That's a first. Thought Clara, while biting her lower lip. Carefully observing the usually cheerful Doctor who was visibly brooding.

She could sense how his somehow bad mood radiated from him and it took her by surprise. She could basically hear his teeth clenching, while he tried to keep quiet, sensing how his body shook from the unexpected emotions. Emotions she couldn’t quite recognise. Emotions he tried stubbornly to suppress by not speaking with her, and only occasionally casting a grim glances at her before turning away. “Did I do something?” questioned Clara, worrying when he didn’t reply. Worrying that she offended him in some way that she didn’t realise.

He noticed how she caught her bottom lip between her teeth anxiously. The nervous habit of hers. He noted. The habit that he noticed was driving him crazy. And no matter how hard he tried to deny this, it made his blood boil and his hearts thump harder. He swore quietly under his breath when he caught her stare at him with this big wide doe like eyes whole of confusion. Her bottom lip trembling slightly, tucked between her teeth in a most adorable way possible. And he could feel how his resolve broke by uttering the only response he could master.

“You are late.”

“What?” asked Clara taken aback by his unusually low and sharp voice with a deliciously dark notes in it. The notes she never noticed in his voice before.

“You are late,” repeated Doctor taking a deep breath, finally stopping to pace and leaning forward on the console panel. His hands pressed flat against its surface. His head lowered and the bang of his hairs hanging over his eyes. He could feel something what he didn’t feel in a very long time. Something what he shouldn’t have been feeling to his companion... his friend. Something what he could name with one single word. Jealousy.

Yes, he was jealous. And it was pointless to deny it. This is why he kept quiet, trying to ignore Clara. Trying to ignore the pang of jealousy he felt when he landed near to her house a half an hour earlier to pick her up, only to be a witness of how she let some other guy to kiss her on the corner of her lips before she awkwardly waved him goodbye.

“Sorry... kind of lost track of time,” she murmured lowering her gaze to the floor drowning her lip even further into her mouth, making him groan quietly from the gesture.

The truth be told she didn’t lost track of time as the guy she went on on a blind date was boring as hell. To be honest it was even quit the opposite as she counted every second till this awful date would come to the end, but she couldn’t just up and leave. Or could she?

She questioned, while thinking about the Doctor and how he possibly already waited for her as he did every Wednesday evening at seven o’clock sharp, while the date was dragging on and on till it was already past the time. And when he kissed her on the corner of her lips she froze on the spot in shock before rushing toward the Doctor, who had strolled into his TARDIS not even looking at her. And now he was angry... The angriest she ever seen him to be.

Or was it something else? she wondered watching him to meet her gaze before mumbling something and looking away. His brows furrowed and his lips dragged into a frown.

“Yes, I gathered it,” he seethed, when she asked him what did he said. His hand angrily pulling on the lever while another slamming on the console with a loud thump. Causing TARDIS to hum something grumpily before Doctor murmured an apology, gently dragging his hand over the surface. Clara's eyes widened and she strolled toward him, grubbing his arm and forcing him to face her. Feeling how her own blood started to boil from the way he acted as if she did something wrong.

“Doctor, what did you mean, you gathered it?” she asked, her voice raising on a few octaves while feeling rather frustrated that he turned his back to her again not able or not wanting to meet her eyes.

“Nothing.”

“Doctor?” huffed Clara.

“Do you really want to know, what is wrong?” cried out Doctor, swirling at the spot to face Clara, watching her to nod as if she truly didn’t have any idea. As if it wasn’t obvious how much it hurt him to watch her to move on with her life, letting him to be in it only one single day... one Wednesday per week. Watch her to go out on a blind date with some random guy and letting him to kiss her, when he couldn’t. Wait for her day after day, jumping from one Wednesday to another just for her to be late because she lost track of time... and feel unreasonable jealousy just because she doesn't think of him as much as he did about her.

“Yes, Doctor. I want to know. I need to know,” she pleaded, her voice thick from emotions. So many possibilities of what could have happened to make him angry. Was it her past, or her future? What did she do to the only man in the whole universe she couldn’t stop thinking about? To the only man in a whole universe, whose lips she craved to be pressed to hers taking her breath away. To the only man in a whole universe who was worth counting every second until their next meeting. She could feel how her heartbeats elevated, and she waited for him to speak with a bated breath.

“Do you? Do you really want to know?” seethed Doctor, hovering over Clara's petite frame. He was standing so close now that his hot breath caressed her soft skin as her lips parted readying reply. His eyes flickered to them, and before she could even master a sound, his lips crushed onto hers kissing her deeply. His tongue slipping past her lips meeting hers just for a briefest of moments before they pulled away panting. Their cheeks flushed and their lips swollen from the force of their short-lived but passionate kiss.

“You kissed me,” exclaimed Clara. Her rosy lips parted, forming a perfectly shaped “o”. Her eyes widened in confusion and shock meeting Doctor’s matching bewildered expression, who raised his arms covering himself, ready for a slap that never came. Meanwhile trying to find a perfect excuse for his action, but instead only able to mumble: “You were late.”

“Yes... yes, I was,” agreed Clara, taking a step forward toward the Doctor who hastily stepped back. His mind working with an extra speed trying to look for anything to say, but failing. “Do you know why I was late?” tentatively asked Clara, realisation slowly started to sink in, why he may acted so weird since the moment he picked her up so she took another step closer. “Did you see why I was late?” she asked, standing straight in front of the Doctor with him pressed against the console panel, swallowing hard. His anger dissipated, but the jealousy didn’t go away just got mixed up with the nervousness of the situation and the fact that she seemed in control of it now.

“Yes, I...,” Doctor cleared his throat nervously, tugging at his bow tie, feeling a heat of Clara’s body, watching how her brow raised studying him with curiosity.

“Well, Doctor? Did you probably get jealous of me being late because I was on a date?” she helped with suggestion. A devilish smirk now playing on her lips, while her heart was pounding inside her chest waiting for his reply. Her gaze not leaving his, watching how his eyes slightly widened as he tried to make a run for it, slipping from her and mumbling that they needed to go. Some places to see. Some people to meet.

Suddenly, he felt her gentle hand placed on his forearm, stopping him from starting to fumble with buttons and levers again. Making him to lean on the console panel while his gaze became hidden behind the flop of his hairs. Hands flat on the console, gaze dropped to the floor, and voice huskier and lower than she ever heard him to speak.

“Yes... yes, Clara, I did in fact seen your blind date... but no I...”

“Doctor...,” said Clara.

“But no I... I wasn't jealous. No... Not jealous at all, just...,” stubbornly said Doctor, trying to suppress the jealousy that he still felt. Still not daring to look at Clara. Feeling, that if he would she would easily crack his lie. He shook his head in disbelief of how easily the lie slipped from his tongue, not hearing her to call for him. His thoughts fumbled one over another, and she could hear him to gulp nervously, while he continued to speak.

“Just concerned...,” said Doctor still standing near to the petite girl who so easily inflicted the feelings he didn't think were even possible for him to feel. The powerful feelings that still made his blood boil from the single thought that she allowed some guy she just met kiss her. “Concerned about your safety. You... you just met the guy and he...he can be anyone... some alien for example. His kiss could have poisoned you for all you know.”

“Doctor,” Clara called louder the warning in her voice finally picking Doctor’s attention.

“What?” he asked, daring a quick sideway glance at Clara under the flop of his hairs.

“Doctor, how do you know that this was a blind date? Did you spied on me?” she gasped from even slightest idea that he did, not sure if this made her happy or furious... or both at once.

“No, no... I... I didn’t,” Doctor’s eyes widened. “I just...”

“What Doctor? You what?” Uttered Clara raising her voice and stepping away from him in disbelief.

“I just... I was getting impatient, so I came earlier and seen you leave for that date. You even didn’t notice me,” he said accusingly. “And it was clear from the way you acted that you even didn’t know the guy. You was all fidgety and... and blushing constantly,” Doctor spun to face Clara, storming toward her.

“Doctor, how do you know this was a blind date? It could be simply a first date...”

“I... I...,” tried Doctor.

“Did you gone through my messages?” gasped Clara, taking another step back with disbelief. Her body suddenly trapped between rails of the platform and Doctor's body, his hands catching hers preventing her from tipping over. And she suddenly got very much aware of his hot elevated breath on her lips.

“No,” exclaimed Doctor offended by the assumption, trying to push away the sudden urge to shut her mouth with the kiss. The single thought of her thinking that he would do something like that made him angry. “I seen your chat with Linda," explained Doctor. "Seen that you have agreed to meet this guy, when I was showing you a rock that looked like Strax's potato head. I seen how you texted him to meet today. You clearly was more fascinated and keen for this date, than to spend time with me,” said Doctor. His eyes dropped to her lips trying to overcome temptation to kiss her. His knuckles grazed against her cheek, feeling how her breath hitched. “Also why did you even take your phone with you? Are you so bored with me showing you around?” the change in Doctor's tone took her by surprise. It wasn't angry anymore, or nervous. It was... sad? like when you are about to loose something very dear to you, something what you already lost and just realising it.

“Doctor, were you jealous? Are you jealous?” asked Clara again, holding her breath while waiting for his reply. Bracing herself for her heart to be broken.

It took couple of minutes longer for Doctor finally to meet her gaze as if deciding on something. As if contemplating if truth would be to dangerous to tell or if it would be worth it after all. And with a deep low husky voice he finally did it, admitted what she wanted to hear, admitted the truth.

“Yes, Clara. I was jealous... I'm jealous,” he confessed with the sigh, not able to lie to her anymore.

“Kiss me,” whispered Clara, tiptoeing toward him. Her eyes on his, while their lips became only a breath away. So close to him that he couldn't resist the temptation.

His lips touched hers tentatively at first, hesitantly. And he felt how electricity coursed through him, making his two hearts speed up their temp. Her taste was like something long forgotten, like distant memory from another life. Like Gallifrey's sunshine, sweet and bitter, like morning's coffee and honeydew melon and it drew him even more to her. Making him dip deeper, attacking her lips vigorously again and again, deepening their kiss and kissing her more desperately, moaning and groaning into their kiss. The one she returned fully matching his passion. Her fingers dug into his hair bringing him closer to her, passion for passion, desire for desire. And they couldn't stop even if the whole army of Daleks and Cybermen combined would appear at the doorstops of TARDIS and would demand to give them his true name. They couldn't stop as the passion was too much to stop now, while the words of love were swirling on the tips of their tongues, while they met in the passionate tango, to the pace of their lips colliding together.

Doctor's hands slid along Clara's petite frame effortlessly lifting her up and sitting on the console. Her legs opened up to accommodate him. The desire that Doctor's jealousy and Clara's unfortunate date spurred so easily inside both of them finally freeing them from the fear and hesitation. Their kisses and touches are more bold and desperate. Both wanting so much more... both needing so much more.

Clara could feel how Doctor's hands moved up her legs opening them even wider, searching for a closer contact with her, while the heels of her legs dig into his back. They could hear how the fabric of her very tight skirt teared, but they both couldn't care less about that. Both desperate for even less clothing to separate them.

Taking that as an opportunity to get Clara out of her clothes, Doctor broke their kiss. His lips moving to the pulse point at her neck, sucking on it gently, but with precision that definitely would leave a purple mark on her sensitive skin. His tongue gently licked over the mark soothing her, making her suck in the breath, while her head lolled back with a delicious moan. His hands moving to the tear in her skirt, tearing it even further and letting it drop to the floor. His fingers hooking at the waistband of her tights pulling them vigorously down not caring for a slightest if they will remain intact. He kissed and bit her neck moving lower, making her moan and gasp every time his mouth or teeth grazed her skin. She thrusted her hips toward him, trying so desperately not to loose contact with something so hard and big pressed to her thigh, that she was sure as all hells in that and others worlds, that it wasn't his sonic screwdriver. The realisation that it is him so big and hard against her made her almost undone on the spot as specially when his long delicate finger slid beneath her panties. His thumb pressed firmly to her nub rubbing gentle but insistent circles over it, while another thrusted inside her dripping pussy making the scream mixed with moan leave her throat.

The sounds he elicited from her made him groan in desperation and the feeling of her juices on his fingers made him work on her with doubled effort, wanting nothing more that to feel her juices drip on his fingers.

“You are so wet,” he gasped against her skin, his lips moving up her throat. And he cupped her cheek with his hand, while pressing his forehead against hers. His lips just a fraction away while he whispered sweet nothings into her moans, helping her climb higher and higher to her heights until she couldn't hold it anymore. His thumb circling over her nub, his long delicate finger joined by another, working her faster and faster, kissing her sweet lips, swallowing the maddening sounds she made.

He could feel how her walls were clenching around his fingers, and he broke the kiss gazing into her darken eyes. His vision blurred by desire as he dropped to his knees wanting nothing more than to prolong her pleasure and to taste her. He kneeled in front of her like she was some Goddess of old times. His gaze meeting hers and holding it, while his hands dragged her panties down her legs, not able to keep his moan to himself when his tongue slide over her lower lips, dipping in just slightly and tasting her. The taste is even more amplified by her pleasure and reminds him of home. Of something that was lost so long ago. Of something for what he was looking desperately and finally found in the woman who was moaning his name. The name he had chosen as a promise. Doctor. Doctor. Doctor.

He could hear her chanting it over and over, moaning and groaning it until it became too much to hold any longer. The crescendo of screams falling from her lips, while he was lapping at her dripping juices, drinking her nectar. He could feel how her legs tensed, starting to tremble, and he could see how her hands held into the rails of the console gripping it tightly. Her knuckles white and her head thrown back while the most powerful orgasm rolled over her again and again. He was licking her gently guiding her through it until he could feel how her trembling subsided, licking her for the last time, savouring her taste, before standing up.

His eyes fixed on her while he watched her catch the breath, his fingers toyed with the top button of her blouse, while she wrapped her legs around his waist pulling him toward her, feeling how his impossibly huge and hard length press into her thigh before he kissed her gently with a kiss, that held a promise. A promise, that he made her once upon a time: to give in, and now he was finally ready to held his promise.

#whouffle smut #whouffle #whouffleweek2020 #dr. who fanfiction #eleventh x clara

21 notes · View notes

readyplayerhobi · 6 years

Text

Insert Quippy Title Here!!

; Deadpool!Jimin x Reader

; Genre: Smutty smut smut smu- okay there’s some fluff and crack too

; Word Count: Long..like my di- (8.5k)

; Warnings: Everything bab- (WOULD YOU LET ME SPEAK?!) oral sex (hola senor blowjob), masturbation (sweet baby grapes yes), anal play ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) crude language (what are you 12?), unprotected sex (stay safe kids!), spanking

; Synopsis: There is no synopsis. It’s just you...me...and a real good time sweet cheeks.

; A/N: This just came about because I talked about it with @yminie. Probably not as funny as I thought it was...there’s a plot if you squint somewhere. Supposed to be a drabble. Evidently not.

The living room is quiet until suddenly a figure jumps up from behind the couch, jolting in surprise as he turns round and catches sight of the reader. A black gloved hand presses against the red leather that covers his chest while the white eye circles of his face mask become overly exaggerated.

“Oh...you scared me there. I was just...cleaning...for dust bunnies. Behind the couch. Definitely not playing with tiny unicorn toys. No way. You’re dead wrong. And if you tell my girlfriend. I will call you a liar. A big...beautiful liar.” He moves around the couch in tiny, awkward movements before his hand flicks quickly as he throws something away.

The toy unicorns hit the ground with tiny plastic thumps but he lets out a high pitched giggle that distracts attention. “So...you may recognise me. I’m kind of a big deal. At least, I think I’m a big deal. You may recognise me from that super awesome comic series, or even the really, hugely successful films that have come out starring the incredibly handsome Ryan Reynolds. What a face, am I right?”

He sits down, grumbling slightly when one of the swords on his back catches the couch pillow before he throws it to the side and leans backwards, spreading both arms while crossing a leg over his knee.

“So...my story. I have many...many different stories. And this is a...a little one. A short one. Just for you guys. My sweet, beautiful, loyal people.” A kiss is blown. “My name is Park Jimin, and I’m one handsome motherfucker if I do say so myself.” His head tilts to the side before shrugging.

“A few things to make clear before we move on with this ‘totally-not-fanfiction’ story. Number one, if you’re questioning where the extra four inches went compared to Ryan Reynolds,” He shifts slightly and strokes his ass. “Prime Park ass, right here. Perfect.” Bringing his fingers together, he blows another kiss.

“Secondly, I cannot be held accountable if you fall in love with me. I’m sorry my darlings, but it just can’t be. Fourthly, I was born in Busan first - wait I’m not supposed to know that yet. Fifthly...is that a word? Wait...did I miss a number? Did I? Whatever. What was I going to say?” Everything starts to go black and he jerks around, complaining loudly.

“Wait, no! STOP IT! You come back here camera! DON’T TAKE ME AWAY FROM THE-wait I have to go so the story starts? Oh...okay, capiche.” He finger guns to the side before saluting. “Enjoy table fuckers. I LOVE YOU SPIDER-MAN!” He screams before everything stops.

The first time you’d ever met Park Jimin, he’d been regaling the room with a story about a fuzzy unicorn that had come into his room and given him a blowjob in the middle of the night. He’d been high at the time of course, but you’d come to learn that Jimin’s mind genuinely worked that way sometimes.

The scarred yet incredibly handsome man had an infectious personality that both exasperated and amused you, pulling you in while simultaneously making you want to push him away. He’d been a complete enigma to you, still was sometimes, and you often wondered if he was actually okay.

Yet despite the foul mouth he had on him, he’d proven to be a loyal friend to you once he’d let you inside those high walls. It had taken two years of friendship, with him scurrying off at random points and blurting out the most obscene comments, before you finally asked him on a date.

At the time, he’d been incredulous, pointing to himself frequently and asking if you were aware who you were asking out. He was loud mouthed and occasionally offensive, but he had a heart of gold and a little bit of insecurity to go along with it. How could you not fall in love with him?

Honestly, he probably only dated you for the first few months to see if you’d actually stay around or if he was going to find out that it was some big, elaborate prank. It hadn’t been, as you’d genuinely found him attractive and his personality infectious, despite the concerns from your friends and family.

And yet...once he’d realised that you were staying with him because of him and not some dumb bet you’d made with Yoongi, he’d lowered his guard with you. Maybe too much actually. He had odd habits. Like some weird overgrown cat, he’d started to leave you presents in your home. Teddy bears, gummy sweets...even a hosepipe, which had been bizarre until he had simply shrugged and said they were on sale at Home Depot.

You didn’t even have anywhere to use a hosepipe. You lived in an apartment in the city, which he knew about.

If anything, you often got the impression that Jimin didn’t really have many real interactions with people who weren’t his best friend. In fact, it was a constant surprise to you that Taehyung was friends with Jimin...because he was as normal as apple pie.

And yet the feeling that there was something special about Jimin had gone on unabated, He would vanish at the weirdest times, say the oddest things on the phone sometimes and he also had the most unreal skills when it came to games or anything sports like - even if he did whine like a soccer mom at a PTA meeting.

His distinctly odd behaviour, which says a lot given how unusual he behaves anyway, had meant that the revelation of his alter ego had been anti-climatic. Like getting excited to go for a meal at your friends house and then finding out you have to eat a salad, not exactly nutritious and about as filling as the dick you’d had on prom night.

Honestly, he was a bit of an idiot sometimes. You’d been dating six months when you found out, walking into his apartment with a box of pizza in your arms only to discover your frequently ebullient boyfriend half naked.

That, was not the unusual bit. He liked to walk around in his tight Spider-Man briefs, pointing out the cute cartoon face on them frequently before asking if you’d like to touch his dick. Or his Spider-Man toys. So no, being half naked was not the bit that had made you raise your eyebrows, even if your boyfriend was insanely ripped for a ‘delivery boy’.

No, it had been the red and black leather suit that he’d been tugging on, one arm already inserted before he’d frozen in place. Your jaw had dropped at the sight, eyes going almost comically wide as he stood awkwardly, the famous mask with two black areas under the white eyes staring up at you from the couch.

“Listen, let’s be honest. This is not the weirdest thing you’ve caught me doing.” He’d stated bluntly, his tone very calm for someone whose girlfriend was finding out his super-alter ego. You’d gone to argue with him, placing the box of pepperoni pizza on the side table and stepping closer before stopping when he raised his hand.

“Remember that time I got so high I tried to smoke a cat’s tail? Or the time you caught me eating Play-Doh because Taehyung swore to me that it was edible candy? Which it wasn’t, the fucker. I had the worst shits for a week. Or that time you found me trying to suck my own di-” You’d held your own hand up then, eyes goggling before you’d simply sat on the couch and opened the box.

“No, you know what? You’re right. This is definitely not the strangest thing I’ve ever found you doing. Carry on Mr Superhero. I can’t guarantee there’ll be pizza waiting whenever you’re done.” You’d mumbled around a slice, moaning softly at the delicious taste of rich cheese combining with smokey pepperoni.

Jimin had stood at the door, his mask grasped in a tightly fisted black leather gloved hand while a look of childish petulance had taken over at the sight of you eating the pizza. “Not fair. You know I love the pepperoni from Jimmy’s! This is unjust torture. This is illegal. I’m calling the United Nations!”

He’d stormed out then before running back in and grabbing a slice, shouting out loudly that he loved you like Trump loved money and disappearing. You’d been in bed when he’d come back, neither of you commenting on his earlier antics.

As such, you’d slid into a strangely comfortable relationship that was open and honest. Your only requirement was that he a) not die, which apparently was like impossible for him or something, and b) not kill people in front of you. He’d bitched about it like a weak ass celebrity rapper in a feud looking for attention but accepted it.

He was still possibly the oddest person you’d ever met, but over the last 2 years of dating you’d gotten used to it. Which was why you were only mildly exasperated at his current antics in the middle of the restaurant you’d brought him to for your twice monthly date.

“Jimin, we’re supposed to be like...on a date. With each other. So like...why are you staring at those pictures of Spider-Man?” You ask, frowning as he sits frozen in place with his gaze firmly centered on the magazine. In it, there’s a double spread picture of Spider-Man in all his glory, his firm and toned body stretched out as he swoops through New York City.

Where he’d even pulled that from, you didn’t know, but he’d found it all the same. And Spider-Man was like catnip to Jimin.

“Have you ever...have you ever seen such beauty? It’s like...he’s like...if Chris Hemsworth had a baby with Chadwick Boseman and then that guy had a baby with Chris Evans and then that guy had a baby with Lupita Nyong’o and then THAT girl had a baby with Ji Chang Wook and then-” You cut him off with a raised hand.

“I get it. It’s like a lot of beautiful people improbably had babies with each other to produce the most beautiful person in the world. You do realise, you have no idea who Spider-Man is right? He might be the ugliest person in the world for all you know.” You reason with him, running a finger along the printed image of Spider-Man’s stomach.

He looks at you with wide eyes before pointing at his own scarred face, causing you to scoff and roll your eyes at his self-deprecation. “Look at his thighs though. I wish I was in the Avengers. I mean...my god. Those thighs are like...works of art. It’s like...Michelangelo and Raphael had a baby and-” Reaching forward, you press your hand to his mouth firmly.

“If you fucking say the word baby one more time, I will stab you in the dick with a fork.” Beneath your hand, you can feel his lips pulling into a grin while his brows wiggle. Leaning back, you cross your arms over your chest and wait to hear what he’s thinking.

“Baby...I didn’t know you were into that kind of thing. Let’s swing by the grocery store after this and pick up a cutlery set. What’s your thoughts about egg cups?” Lips twitching, you look away as your head shakes exasperatedly. Honestly, you wonder how on earth he always has a quip for everything.

“Seriously though. Those thighs. I mean...he can jump as high as a building so they’re packing some punch. What I wouldn’t give to get my ribcage smashed in by him. He looks like he could like...crush a mountain between those big and juicy thighs. I want to be that mountain. I want him to crack me like an egg and then do it all over again.” He looks up at you with eyes that are wide, his pupils blown out and you bite your lip to stop laughing.

“Are you hard?” You ask, your voice almost flat with expectation and zero surprise. Jimin looks down at his own lap and rubs a hand over his crotch slowly, brow raised.

“My penis is erect. Yes. I can’t help it. He just...turns me on so much. I can use it on you if you’d like? Forget about fork play. What’s your thoughts on role play? In particular...have you ever considered wearing a Spider-Man cosplay outfit? Because...I think you could work it. And you know that I have a strap-on that you can use. On me. Obviously. Please. It’s my one fantasy.” He begs, crossing his fingers together as he begs you from across the table.

Your brow raises as you watch him in amusement. “I thought your fantasy was to fuck on the wings of an airplane when it’s at full height?” He had very strange fantasies.

He pauses with plump lips wide open and those brown irises becoming more visible as his excitement deflates. “That’s one of them. But it’s kind of hard to fulfill you know. People generally need oxygen at that level and it’s really cold. I’m into some kinky shit but...dead people is a step too far. Even for me baby doll.”

Sighing deeply, you pinch your nose with your fingers as you breath out slowly afterwards. Centering yourself, you look back up at him with a fond smile as you reach across and take his hand, squeezing tightly.

“I’m not Spider-Man, and I’m not into stabbing you with cutlery. Nor can I fuck you on a plane. But I can give you a really good blow job and hopefully mind numbing sex back at mine if you’d like? A little vanilla but...oh well.” His own dark brow raise up and he runs a hand through his dark hair.

“What about a little anal play?” He lifts his fingers and moves them to give an inch gap, his pink tongue poking through his lips. You raise a brow and poke at your cheek with your own tongue.

“Not really in the mood for that tonight babe.” Jimin rolls his eyes at that and mimics you exaggeratedly, causing your eyes to narrow. He catches it and holds his hands up placatingly.

“Not you. Me. Just...give me a little something-something you know? Please.” Sighing, you gesture to the waiter for the bill as you take a final sip of your water, smiling at him as you lean forward.

“Fine.” Jimin dances in his seat excitedly, his bright smile taking over his face and you laugh quietly. Paying the bill, you’d both agreed a while ago to alternate between paying which was why you’d chosen something particularly cheap today, you stand up and take his hand when he gives it.

“Let’s go fuck my ass!” He says out loud, causing the rest of the patrons of the restaurant to stare with wide eyes. Cheeks heating up at his loud comment, you groan and push him to the exit as quickly as possible.

“Do you have no shame?!”

“Does Tony Stark have too much money? Hell no! On that note, don’t you think it’s unfair that we don’t get paid for like...saving the world? I mean...it’s a public service you know. In fact, they even tried to charge me for breaking a store window. Excuse me! But if it wasn’t for me...they’d be dead!” Jimin continues on down the street, causing you to sigh good naturedly.

You spot a shortcut that would cut out at least ten or fifteen minutes of your journey between two buildings while he rants and gently tug him towards it. The closer you got, the more he slowed down until it felt like you were trying to drag a toddler.

Actually you were lucky, there had been occasions when Jimin had just gotten onto the floor and whined. You’d, literally, had to drag a grown man across the floor.

Looking down the grim alley with a grimace, Jimin hesitates slightly before looking back at you. His eyes widen almost comically before he pulls an overly exaggerated grimace, whining and stamping his feet.

“Do we have to go down the dark and scary alley with a completely unarmed and untrained woman on my arm? Or can we just go to the well lit street and get a taxi back home?” He asks deadpan, causing you to raise a brow.

“It’s just an alley Jimin, calm down. Besides, you have like...crazy superpowers. If we’re attacked, just fight them. And you can’t die either.” He scoffs at that as he follows you, kicking at an empty can petulantly as his thumbs hook onto his belt loop.

“Yeah, okay. I’m just going to say that though I can’t die, it fucking hurts. Imagine your neck being snapped and then having to re-snap it back into place! Sweet baby Jesus and all the disciples, it’s like a pain you’ve never known. And you never will, because it will kill you. And we’re not testing that okay?” He mutters, causing to chuckle lightly at him as you wrap your arms around one well built arm.

“Is someone scared of the scary alley?” You pout to him, sticking your lower lip out almost comically. He gasps theatrically and places a hand on his chest daintily, leaning back to give it maximum effect.

“Moi? Scared of a creepy alley that is obviously going to be filled with enemies that I have to defeat because that’s how stories with superheroes go? Don’t be silly. I’m just annoyed at the poor plot choice here. That plot hole is so big, I can almost fit my dick in it. It’s almost like this story is being written by an amateur fanfiction writer.” He glares at some unseen figure in the sky, causing your brows to crease together.

“I’m going to elect to ignore that bizarre comment.” You mumble, tugging him forward when you can see the end of the alley.

Sudden movement from behind a dumpster has you freezing and you watch as a guy stands up, holding a knife out at you both. Jimin lets out quite possibly the world’s loudest groan at the sight, throwing his hands in the air.

“Fucking really? Really? This is...ridiculous. Come on General Fucknugget, just...lay off it tonight. I’m on a date with my girl and I’m going home for banging sex. No, you’re not invited.” He rolls his eyes, shifting his weight onto one leg as he eyes the man grumpily.

The guy sneers in response, waving the knife between you both as he grunts out. “Gimme your valuables. All of it. And your money.” Jimin mutters to himself softly, something about lame plots and superhero origin stories.

“Dude, you’re totally lucky I’m not in my suit right now. Or you’d realise this is a bad idea.” Your boyfriend tries to placate him, admirably holding onto his snark and temper given that he’s in the presence of you. But the guy ignores him and lunges forward, shaking the knife even more violently.

“Give it to me, or I’ll cut you!” At that, Jimin pauses and snorts out loud before eyeing the guy.

“Wow...scary. Did your mom write that? I mean...I doubt it...she was being a lot more creative when my dick was in her last night.” He sneers, baring his teeth at the mugger while his fingers curl up into fists.

At that, the guy gives a snarl of his own and jerks forward once more. “I’m gonna cut those pretty eyes right out of your fucking head while your girlfriend watches, then fuck her too.” You watch with wide eyes, gripping onto Jimin’s shirt to hold back before your boyfriend bursts into laughter suddenly.

“Oh geez. Oh man, so dark. You must be from the DC Universe! Tell me, is Henry Cavill still Superman or has he really left? I mean...after that performance in Mission Impossible, he should have just shaved off his moustache for that weird scene. Christ, it was not worth keeping that facial hair.” Both you and the guy pause, looking at each other almost comically in confusion before Jimin suddenly lashes out with a hard push that has the guy rocking back a few steps.

“Hey! Asshole!” The mugger shouts out, spitting on the ground to add to the waste that’s already littering it. Your nose wrinkles at the sight, until you notice another guy slowly coming forward from further down the alley. He too has a knife in his hand and you feel Jimin sigh.

“Oh look, it’s the weekly Dumbass Anonymous meeting. Fun. If your General Fucknugget, then is this Captain Cheese Dick? If I had my swords then you guys would be fucked!” He threatens, perhaps a little empty given he’s just waving his arms around now. The threat is obviously useless as they just laugh, eyeing the fact that he has no obvious weapons.

“Babe...do something already!” You whisper furiously, fully aware that Jimin could take out these two guys in only a few seconds. Compared to what he normally deals with, this is nothing! He turns around at that, ignoring the two and looks at you incredulously.

“Seriously? With what? Interpretative fucking dance? This isn’t Guardians of the Galaxy, I can’t win with a dance off. They have knives! And I have nothing but my dashing good looks and sharp quips.” He jerks his head at that, running a hand through his hair almost model-esque and you refrain from rolling your eyes. You’d only get eye strain from how many times you have to do it.

“I don’t know! A brick? There’s lot of them!” You say, pointing to the chipped bricks that litter the ground. He eyes them with disdain at first before those orbs light up with a sudden idea. Grinning, he wraps his arms around you tightly and spins you around before dropping you back down.

“Genius babe! It worked in the second film, so it’ll work now. Damn, who knew you were meta too?” You have no idea what he’s talking about but he picks up a brick and throws it in the air, catching it with ease. “Say hello...to my bricky friend.”

At that, he launches the brick at the first guys stomach and you shuffle backwards as you watch the guy bend over, wheezing as he holds his abdomen in pain. Jimin ignores him however and launches himself at the other guy, sprinting forward before suddenly sliding underneath him in a slick, impressive move. He spins around with his leg outstretched and the other guy falls over with a yelp as his own legs are knocked out from under him, the knife clattering to the ground.

With lightning fast moves, Jimin grabs the knife and slams the handle into the guys head, knocking him out cold on the floor before he’s up and moving once more. The first mugger is standing gingerly, with his knife held out in front of him as he tracks Jimin’s movements warily.

The corner of Jimin’s mouth ticks up and you can almost see the pleasure he gets out of this as he teases the guy, jerking his body one way before moving the other in rapid movements. After a few of those, he jumps forward and grabs hold of the guys arm, holding it out straight as he slams his body into outstretched part.

He’s moved in the direction the arm doesn’t bend and there’s a sickening crunch that ricochets in the alley, followed quickly by the guys sharp scream. Letting the guys arm go, Jimin pivots in place and performs the most perfect roundhouse kick to the head, leg straight and muscles straining from the effort, sending the guy crashing to the ground.

Picking up the fallen knife, Jimin drops down to straddle the guy and lifts it high in the air. “This is for threatening my girlfriend you ass. And for doing crime. Crime is bad! Did you never go to school? Or even watch a police chase programme? Or listen to Captain America?”

You rush forward at that, grabbing Jimin’s arm and making him drop the knife. He looks at you exasperated as you shake your head. “No killing when I’m here remember!” You hiss at him. He stares for a moment before groaning and letting his head fall back.

“You’re so lucky Mr Crime Man, that Batman over here doesn’t approve of me killing dudes around her. Each person I kill gets me a one week sex ban. So...in the name of my hard on, you are free to live another day.” He leans forward suddenly until he’s nose to nose with the mugger, whose eyes go wide as he cradles his arm tenderly. “But if you do anything again, I’m gonna make you get real acquainted with my swords. Remember the name, Martha and Stewart. Because they’ll be the last things you ever se-”

You interrupt him suddenly. “Really? You named your swords Martha Stewart? Oh my god. I’m dating a fucking nerd. I thought you called them Scarlett Johansson?” The words are said with just a tiny, read - a lot, of sarcasm and Jimin grits his teeth as he glares at you.

“Babe. I’m trying to be scary here. Can you criticise my sword name choice later? And they were, but I got the feeling you didn’t like them being named after someone so beautiful so I changed it. Anyway, not important!” He hisses before going back to the mugger.

“Right yeah. Blah, blah. Scary threat. Tell all your friends that Deadpool is watching for you. Dick ass.” He stands up at that, bringing up two fingers to his eyes before gesturing them back to the guy menacingly as you both walk down the whole alley.

You pull his hand away as you sigh. “Stop doing that. What are you? Ten?”

Jimin snorts as he wraps his arm around your waist comfortably, pulling you flush to his side as he wiggles his brows. “Inches yes. All the more to please you with baby. Kim Taehyung has got nothing on this Big Dick Energy.”

You don’t even both to answer him as you walk down the street to your apartment, just happy he didn’t kill a man in front of you. He always complained that your apartment was in a crappy area, but you often just pointed out that he lived in an abandoned warehouse in the middle of drug dealing gangs.

Your place at least had a bunch of stores nearby, so there were perks to that. Which he’d conceded to, acknowledging that the Korean store nearby had the best pre-packaged kimchi outside of Korea itself.

Probably a lie, but whatever.

Shoulder barging the door open, you let him into your place before closing the door and locking all four locks carefully. He watches with a raised brow, flicking the plywood door with a sneer. “I could break this with my pinky finger babe. It’d take nothing for someone to get in here, and then it’s welcome to Deadtown, population...you. And I’ll be unhappy if you die, just FYI. I may even go full on Celine Dion like in the film.”

Frowning at him, you move past him before going into the bedroom. He follows behind you, still complaining about your apartment and you turn around midway through stripping off, shirt thrown into the clothes bin.

“Do you want to get laid or would you rather keep sucking your own dick? Sounds like you’re doing a good job of it right now.” You state plainly, turning around as you unbutton your jeans. The sound of fabric moving from behind you tells you that he’s stripping off too, neither of you feeling the need to be too sexy right now.

“Maybe I wouldn’t suck my own dick if I didn’t do it so well.” He mutters and you spin around, crossing your arms over chest. It immediately pushes your breasts up and he pauses halfway through unzipping his jeans to stare.

“You have nice tits. Have I told you that before? Real...real nice. Come here sweet thing, let me suck on them. I know you like that.” He grins, pretty smile taking over. You wish he wasn’t so beautiful, it’d be easier to stay mad at him sometimes.

Rolling your eyes, you move over to him and let him wrap his arms around your shoulders, kissing your hair as his hands slide down your body to cup your hips. Slipping his fingers underneath the waistband of your panties, he pulls them back and lets the elastic snap against your hips.

The slight pain makes you hiss as you glare up at him, digging your own fingers into the firm meat of his hips. Immediately he’s grinning and pressing against your ass, pushing you into his crotch where you feel his hard erection already ready.

“I like that baby doll. How about you tie me up, slap me and call me Mandy?” He whispers into your ear, licking along the edge of your ear lobe before sucking it into his lips seductively. The feeling makes you shudder, eyelids fluttering shut before you register his words and pull back with narrowing eyes.

“Are you serious?” You can never tell sometimes with him.

“No, I’m Mandy. I just said.” Staring at him, you groan and pull out of his arms, shoving your underwear down your legs and stepping out of them before heading over to the bed. Sitting on the edge you point at him as he tugs off his own jeans and underwear, thick cock bouncing in the air once released.

You eye it for a moment with desire, thighs clenching at the sight of him ready and let out a soft sigh of excitement. He’s an oddjob, but Jimin has yet to fail you in the bedroom. Even if he did have the most ridiculous tastes in kinks and fetishes. And he had the most unbelievably hot body, toned and muscular in all the right places.

“I’m not calling you Mandy. Sweet Delilah, can we just fuck?” The words are sighed from you and you watch exasperatedly as his eyes light up at your words. Walking over to you with that seductive swagger, he stands in front of you and places his hands on his hips, cock waving proudly in the air while a drop of pearlescent pre-cum beads at the tip.

“Oh yeah, call me Delilah baby.” Groaning loudly, you shuffle backwards onto the bed and move onto your knees, reaching between your thighs and rubbing at your aching clit with experienced fingers. He watches for a moment, his eyes focused firmly at the centre of your body as you dip your fingers into your entrance, coating them in your slickness before toying with the excited bundle of nerves.

“I’m not calling you any names.” You glare, moving forward to grab the bottle of lube out of the cupboard. Reaching over, you grab his dick and ever so gently coax him forward before coating him in the clear lubricant.

Leaning forward, you lick along the hard ridge of the underside of his cock, the shaft jerking under your touch and he grunts quietly. Sucking the tip of him into your mouth, you take as much of him as you can in one go before slowly pulling back, hollowing out your cheeks to give him a crazy amount of pressure.

His hand grips at your hair tightly and you can tell he’s into it by the way his hips rock in tiny movements, his desire to go harder warring with his need to not hurt you. Moving off him, you gasp lightly for breath as you admire the string of saliva that drips off the end of his penis, smirking slightly before licking the sensitive skin of his frenulum.

“How about you just fuck me tonight? No weirdness.” You whisper, moving away and getting onto your hands and knees. Lifting the hand you’d lubed him up with, you rub at your needy clit in slow circles, coating yourself in more wetness while exciting him in turn.

His eyes are dark, the deep brown of his irises almost swallowed whole by the blackness of his pupils. A wet, pink tongue flicks out to lick at his plush lips and his decision is made, climbing onto the bed and positioning himself behind you.

“God, you have the tightest fucking ass. You know that? It’s like...like a fucking peach. Like I’m just...fucking a fruit. Not that I’ve ever done that. And if Taehyung ever tells you that I fucked a watermelon, he’s lying. It was a cantaloupe. And it kind of hurt.” He goes off on some weird tangent, somehow still hard despite the way his mind is thinking about distinctly unsexy things.

You’re about to complain at him before he slaps your ass hard, the distinct crack of flesh upon flesh heard before you feel the sting of the pain. Hissing, you bite your lip as a moan leaves you at the sensation and he chuckles.

“Good thing you don’t bruise like a peach though. I don’t like you bruised.” He mutters, stroking at the smarting skin gently. You feel his cock stroke up through your slippery folds, the tip of him rubbing against your clit in a pleasing manner before he’s moving himself upwards, letting the length of his cock rest between your ass cheeks as he thrusts slowly.

“I know you said no weird stuff, but what about if you finger my ass?” Jimin asks suddenly, sliding himself into you in one quick and hard thrust. The breath leaves you instantly as he does so and you choke on a moan, fists clenching the sheets beneath you as he begins to move in short and sharp thrusts.

“I can’t...reach your ass...idiot.” You whisper, each breath ending on a whimpering moan. He lets out a sigh that has absolutely nothing to do with the pleasure he’s feeling and you almost want to reach back and pinch him.

“Damn, it’s not fun when I do it. What about if you let me finger your ass?” He runs his finger along your ass crack as he says this, stroking the area where he’s sliding in and out to coat his finger in slickness before moving it back up to play with the puckered rim of muscle above it.

Rolling your eyes, you nod your head as let yourself fall to your elbows. Jimin lets out a whoop of joy, grabbing the bottle of lube from where you’d dropped it and coating two fingers liberally before letting some dribble down onto your ass.

“Oh baby cakes, we’re going to have some fun. Or I am. Hopefully you will too. If it hurts, tell me.” He says sternly and you know that he’ll stop if you ask. Jimin always does.

His thrusts slow as he wiggles a finger into you, coaxing your tight muscles to relax before he slips inside to the first knuckle. He makes sure to lean round, playing with your clit with his other hand as his hips move in shallow movements, ensuring you get as much pleasure as possible as he slowly works his finger inside.

Once you’re moaning and pushing your hips back against him, he lets out a chuckle and slowly begins to insert a second, stretching the muscles and causing the slightest burning pain. Your breath leaves you in a hiss from between your teeth and you close your eyes, keeping yourself as relaxed as you possibly can.

“That’s it baby girl. Oh...you’re taking daddy’s fingers so well aren’t you? Look at that tight ass, reminds me of that time I fucked Tae-” You jerk your hips backwards in a forcible movement, clenching as tightly as you can around his cock until he’s choking out a breath.

There’s a lot you’ll accept with him, but talking about another man or woman in bed while he’s balls deep in you is not one of them. “Message acknowledged. Don’t talk about other folk when fucking you. Sorry.” He doesn’t even bother to be funny, his cock twitching inside you while his breathing quickens.

The entire time, he’s been stroking at the engorged centre of pleasure between your thighs and you can feel yourself quivering from the combined stimulation of his fingers on your clit, in your ass and the constant pounding of his cock against your g-spot.

“Oh fuck, Jimin.” You whisper, the sound strained as your entire body jerks from the pleasure. He grins even though you can’t see him and murmurs soft encouragements until it’s all too much and he’s got you on the brink of falling over the precipice of pleasure into the pit of orgasm.

“If you want to cum...you know what to call me.” He whispers into your ear, biting at your shoulder seductively before licking along the sensitive flesh. Your mind is almost whiting out and you want to complain at him, but if you do he’ll just stop.

It takes half a lucid moment to remember what he’d said earlier and you groan in annoyance, the tight ball of pleasure in your stomach demanding the release that is so close. “Fuck me, please let me cum…Mandy.” You practically choke on the words.

“Oh sweet dimple crumpets, yes!” He yells out and the effect is immediate with his hips almost pistoning into you, everything suddenly amplified from the movement and the extra sensations cause you to orgasm almost immediately. The muscles in your body tighten and your inner walls convulse around him tightly, the combination of you engaging in his weird kink and your orgasm causing him to judder as he empties himself into you.

By the time you both finish, you lay on the bed tiredly and feel him cuddle up behind you. Muttering out a complaint, you push his hand away and point at the bathroom lazily, causing him to chuckle.

He gets up and walks away, turning round suddenly to blow a kiss to you with his non-lubed up hand. “I love you my sweet, beautiful girlfriend. My pumpkin pie. The love of my life.”

You don’t even bother to respond as he carries on, eyes closing as you doze off slowly.

It’s a week later when the highlight of Jimin’s entire life happens. You wish that you could say that it would be the day that you get married, but honestly it would probably still be today. Because today is the day that Jimin met his fantasy person.

You’d both been out in the city, going on a very casual date together when a sudden group of super villains had run riot in the main park. Why they’d chosen that park, and why that day, you had no idea.

But Jimin had made you hide out in a store nearby while he’d run off to go change into his suit. You’d pointed out many times that it was impractical to keep on underneath his clothes, to which he’d whined intensely about it being harder to get into a superhero suit that it was for a rich, white person to get sent to prison.

Either way, he’d gone running past five minutes later in his full outfit, the swords on his back and you’d had a moment to wonder where the fuck he’d kept them. His prison wallet?

It was only when the sound of explosions began ten minutes later that you’d run out of the cafe to the park, the unreasonable panic you’d had at the prospect of your boyfriend being hurt spurring you on.

The logical part of your mind had been telling you that it was fine. Your boyfriend literally had regenerative powers, and he’d discovered that it was nigh on impossible for him to die. But love and all that.

What you’d found however, was Jimin spinning and dancing around in a flurry of astonishingly beautiful kicks and leaps. He’d looked almost elegant, and you’d noted with surprise that he wasn’t actually killing anyone. Instead, he was using the butt of his swords to knock out the bad guys.

A particularly beautiful movement was when he’d ran straight up a tree, leaping off halfway up and twisting his body round as he flew over the head of his assailant. He’d slammed his sword down on the guys head firmly before landing on one foot. In a show of almost sensual flexibility, Jimin had leaned his weight so that he spun on his foot as soon as he landed, producing a hard kick that sent the guy flying ten feet before he lay there, unmoving.

It was only at this point that you realised the fight was over and you’d watched with eyes like plates as a few of the famous Avengers had all come to a stop close to Jimin. The metal suit of Iron Man whirred and clanked as he walked towards Jimin, but it was the red and blue blur that had you feeling giddy on behalf of your boyfriend.

Spider-Man dropped down from the trees, spinning fluidly as he webbed the guy who was down on the ground. Turning around, he let out a yelp as Jimin was suddenly in front of him, reaching forward tentatively.

“Oh my god. Oh my Betty White. Oh sweet Sandra Bullock. It’s you! It’s really you! Can I touch you? Not inappropriately, unless you want that. I’m down for that. My girlfriend knows. You’re my one cheat. You know, that one person you’re allowed to cheat with? You’re mine. She’ll be fine with it.” He mumbles out, his words almost gibberish in his excitement.

The superhero stares at him and even through the mask you can tell that he’s confused. A slow nod is all he does and immediately Jimin is on his knees, hugging the red and blue superheros legs as tightly as he can.

“Ji-What are you doing?” You call out to your boyfriend, watching as everyone suddenly looks up at you. Shrinking slightly, you wince at the intense stares of so many powerful people before moving towards Jimin slowly and carefully, stroking along his arm to let him know you were there.

“You know this guy?” Iron Man asks, his visor opening up and revealing the infamous face of the billionaire tech genius Kim Namjoon. He was beautiful, and beautifully loaded. Maybe you’d change your one cheat to be this guy. Jimin would appreciate the extra money for sure.

Stuttering, your hand moves to Jimin’s head and the feel of his mask confuses you for a moment. Biting your lip, you cough quietly before giving a slow smile to them all. Jimin would kill you if you blew this for him.

“I do. He’s my boyfriend.” At that, you note Hawkeye’s brows raise up in surprise, causing you to scowl. “Don’t look like that Robin Hood. He’s a good guy okay? Odd, but good.” You say defensively, causing him to hold his hands up.

“Oh well...thanks. I guess. We had it under control but...we appreciate your...help.” Doctor Strange states, walking up behind everyone while his red robe flutters dramatically in the non-existent breeze. You watch with fascination as he draws a few symbols that glow orange and crackle in the air before the ground beneath the bad guy nearby opens up, his body vanishing through.

Wow...maybe you might change your one cheat to this guy. He was Hot. With a capital H. Perfectly styled black hair that pushed up off a smooth forehead, a pixie-esque nose and a jawline to rival Jimin’s. Jimin always joked about this guy but...he was hot.

“Can I get between your thighs and you squeeze real hard? It’s always been a fantasy of mine.” Jimin says, his voice almost dreamy as he strokes along Spider-Man’s thigh. You’d be worried that the superhero feels uncomfortable, but he surprisingly doesn’t move away or discourage your boyfriend.

Still, you lean forward and give a slight embarrassed smile. “I’m sorry...if he’s being awkward. If you feel uncomfortable, feel free to push him away. He’ll listen, I swear.” You say.

The superhero shakes his head and gestures to him with a laugh. “No, it’s fine. Amusing actually. It’s a great story that I can tell others I guess. How many other people get Deadpool on his knees?” He teases and you laugh back, rolling your eyes.

“You’d be surprised. Or if you actually knew him, you wouldn’t be surprised at all.” The both of you ignore Jimin’s childlike gasp of wonder as he whispers about the fact Spider-Man knows his name.

Iron Man steps forward and gestures for Spider-Man to step back, which he does slowly and almost reluctantly. You’re half wondering if there’s a real chance that you could lose your boyfriend here, but Jimin surprisingly stands up and moves back, taking hold of your hand without any prompting.

“So...does this mean I can join the Avengers?” Jimin asks bluntly. “I mean...I’m kinda awesome and will probably outlive you all. Except Captain America. And Thor. And a few others. But still. I helped out right?”

Iron Man lets out an awkward chuckle, his lips curving up and revealing a beautiful set of deep dimples. Running his fingers through his hair, he sighs deeply. “I’m sorry, but we can’t let you do that. Despite the fact you’ve sent us like...three hundred postcards asking to be let in. You should stop that by the way, it’s just costing you money.”

Jimin stares in shock at the blunt statement and you run a hand along his biceps to try and calm him down. He barely even notices though and you can tell he’s pouting underneath the mask. "Whaddya mean I can't join the Avengers? Why not?! Is it ‘cos I’m not in the MCU too?" Namjoon looks confused before giving a placating smile and you wince slightly, fully aware that it’s probably just annoying Jimin even more. You don’t know why he’s bothering, the both of you know that there’s no way in hell he’d be allowed to join the Avengers. "Okay like...you're good...impressive. Very impressive The while not dying thing even if you’re cut into pieces? I will concede that is kind of cool and useful. But you kill people. Not cool." Jimin stares blankly at the superhero, before a brow raises slowly. "I'ma just point out your flaw here, RoboCop. How many people do you guys kill on the regular?" "None, that's the point." Hawkeye scoffs, crossing his arms over his chest. Your eyes note his incredibly built biceps for a moment and you take in his blonde hair, noting that he’s an extraordinarily beautiful man. Like wow. There’s no way Jimin hasn’t noticed that. But Jimin doesn’t react how you’d expect and instead simply glares at him before pointing. "Firstly, if you're gonna claim non-harmful methods than fucking Katniss Everdeen over here needs a new weapon and to chill with the murder sticks he fires. Secondly...how many buildings have you destroyed in your fights? Or cars? Or bridges? Or literally anything else. You literally have a freaking spy assassin, assassin!” He points over at Black Widow who makes an understanding face and shrugs.

Accepting the acknowledgement, Jimin turns back to the others and shifts his weight onto one leg, his hip sticking out while he rests a hand on it. “I fight mano a mano and I ONLY kill bad guys. No civilians. You guys...are murderers. Mur. Der. Ers." He turns to Spider-Man and takes his hand gently, stroking along the suited man’s hand while whispering. "Not you Spider-Man baby, you're an angel and you've never done anything wrong in your life, my sweet cupcake."

Spider-Man stares at him before slowing nodding, not even bothering to move Jimin’s hand. Which you find mildly amusing. Honestly, if Jimin managed to convince the guy for a threesome then you wouldn’t say no.

“Wait...that’s not...no we don’t. We aren’t.” Namjoon says, his plush lips pouting and you note the endearing dimples appearing. Sighing, he lifts a hand to rub at his eyes and you note the way his suit seems to melt away, leaving only tanned skin behind.

“Just...no. Thank you...for your help. Truly. But...no.” Jimin’s about to complain more but suddenly, the suited man’s visor flips down and the boosters on his hands and feet activate, jettisoning him up into the air.

The rest of the Avengers all follow suit in various ways, leaving Jimin clinging onto Spider-Man’s hand. “Spidey...baby...please don’t leave me. I’ll treat you good. I’ll treat you real good!” He screams as the hero awkwardly waves bye and webs away.

Your boyfriend stands for a moment, hands on both hips as he watches before he’s stamping his feet like a child. “Whatever assholes! Half of you die in the movie anyway.” He grumbles, kicking at the floor petulantly.

Sighing, you move over to him and rub at his back soothingly. “It’s okay baby, it’s okay. You can make your own Avengers. Only...with killing allowed I guess. As long as I’m not there.” Tugging his mask off, he gives you an incredulous look.

“Are you fucking kidding? Did you not watch the second movie? Hell no, I’m not making a team. Mommy didn’t raise no idiot. Someone with low sexual morals? Yes. Someone with a dubious sense of right and wrong? Maybe. An idiot? No.” You lean back from him and your own brows raise, causing him to sigh quietly.

“Not all the time. I don’t want another word about that stupid fucking IKEA bookcase. Why do I have to build things myself? I’m a mercenary, not Jesus!” Rolling your eyes, you walk away from him and head out of the park to go to the cafe and wait while he changes back so you can continue on your date.

He follows like expected, carrying on as if you hadn’t just ignored him and walked straight past him. “Get it? Jesus? ‘Cos he was a carpenter? No? I’ll work on it. What about Harrison Ford? He was a carpenter too, you know!”

“Go find your clothes wherever you threw them Jimin.”

“John Carpenter?”

“That’s his name, not his job.”

“Oh really? Damn. Do you think I can change my name to my job too?”

“I don’t think that’s what he did, and what would that be anyway? Mercenary Jimin?”

“Super Awesome Amazing Mercenary With A Handsome Face and Sharp One Liners Jimin.”

“...seriously?”

“You’re right, it’s not everything I do. Damn. I don’t think my passport can hold this much information.”

“That’s not what I...you know what. Nevermind.”