#may remove most of my followers and mutuals :'p

[benetnvsch]

white ppl who say they're (specifically appearance wise) the irl of nonwhite characters are fucking strange to me tbh -

[aspenwritesstuff]

REPLAY: Doodle

REPLAY Masterlist | w/c: 3k | Changbin x Reader

smut, warnings will be below the cut

synopsis: You knew that keeping the raunchy voicemail Changbin left for you before you'd broken up was wrong - and that getting off to it was even worse. Yet, without fail, you were reaching for your phone every time your boyfriend left you dissatisfied.

a/n: Hoo boy, am I nervous about posting the first instance of smut my blog has seen so far. The previous installments in this series have had angst, yeah, but usually have sweet and fluffy endings. This does not. So, a bit of anxiety sharing this side of my writing with you all. BUT, here we are, with 3,000 words of angst and filth. If that's not for you, that's fine. But, to those of you still here, enjoy! <3

-Aspen

permanent taglist: @svintsandghosts

warnings: smut, angst, swearing, lowkey p*rn w/ minimal plot, afab!reader, exes, themes of/implied cheating/infidelity, inner conflict, guilt/shame, masturbation (f and m), mention of piv sex, cumplay if you squint, phone sex

“Break the rules.”

You and Changbin’s relationship had been all whirlwind with minimal romance. Despite initially clicking on the blind date you’d been set up on, it had quickly become apparent that the relationship was doomed.

Broken promises became an increasingly common occurrence. Communication became sparser and sparser as Changbin’s constant pretty vows of doing better, and the subsequent lack of follow through, made it easier to just not.

Towards the end, you’d found yourself under the assumption that anything he said to you was likely untrue. Considering that, the two of you probably should’ve called it quits much sooner. 

You knew that the relationship was doomed months before you finally split, finally voicing your thoughts about the relationship as you laid against his glistening, still heaving chest.

“You know this isn’t working, right?”

He’d simply nodded and murmured, “Yeah,” without so much as flinching, allowing you out of his embrace. 

There was no screaming, no fighting as you slipped back into your clothes. 

No crying, no begging for another chance as you gathered your belongings. 

No words, no apologies as if the inevitability of the end had already been accepted by you both.

You’d have already been gone months ago had it not been for the perfection with which he’d memorized your body, sending your doubts into oblivion as he promised with a proud smirk that nobody else could love you this way - could fuck you this way.

You didn’t miss much from then, save for his touches. 

His calloused fingertips. His slick tongue. His flushed cock.

The absence of hurt following Changbin’s removal from your life made it easier to move on. You could hear about his recent accomplishments from your mutual friends and be perfectly fine. You could hear about him seeing someone new and not care that he’d taken them to your favorite restaurant. 

You felt jealousy only in your most vulnerable moments, and only ever over the fact that someone else was experiencing his electric lust in your stead.

It wasn’t long before you’d managed to find yourself a new relationship, a new man with a new name. 

A man who, in many ways, was better than Changbin had been. 

A man that didn’t need to fuck the disappointment out of you, never letting you down in the first place. A man that got you flowers just because, not to make up for a mistake. A man that loved you as you were supposed to be loved, wholly and without hesitation.

A man that was compassionate, honest, and good. 

A man who was perfect in all ways but one.

As sweet as he was, as tender as his caress may have been, he couldn’t hold a candle to the delicious pleasure Changbin so effortlessly brought you. 

Perhaps if you’d met him first, if you’d never gotten to experience the ecstasy of falling apart beneath Changbin’s touch, if the taste of his name on your lips didn’t feel so wrong.

You couldn’t get to those heights, despite the way he earnestly worshiped every inch of your body during your intimate moments. It wasn’t his fault, either. He wasn’t even bad in bed. How could he possibly know that you weren’t a deity to revere  - but a temple.

A temple that, unfortunately, had already felt the touch of a god.

It seemed that, in spite of the years that had passed, Changbin was true to his word about at least one thing.

Nobody could love you the same way. Nobody could fuck you the same way.

You were bitterly reminded of this as the bed shifted beneath you with the newfound absence of your partner. He’d managed to sweat his way into wanting a shower during lovemaking that had left one of you less than satisfied. 

He’d asked you to join, but didn’t push when you’d declined - opting instead to simply kiss the top of your head before walking away. He never pushed, though.

Honestly, his lack of insistence was earned, the least he could do, seeing as you’d just faked yet another orgasm for him.

Not that he knew, or ever would know that. 

Relief washed over you as watched him disappear around the corner, finally letting your forced smile drop. Despite the many opportunities he provided you to be rightfully appreciative, you were the most grateful for his habit of washing up after sex.

How else were you supposed to take advantage of the personalized audio porn you’d been thinking about since he’d pulled out? 

A saved voicemail from Changbin from back when you were together, telling you with calm dominance exactly how to touch yourself while he was away visiting family. 

The fact that you definitely should have deleted it the second you broke up was not lost on you. You knew that it was wrong, in every sense of the word, to hold onto. But how could you be expected to part with the vulgar moans that hid behind the message?  With how he’d breathlessly tell you the opposite of sweet nothings? With how he instructed you on how to mimic his own touch, stroking himself, driving himself to madness at the very thought? 

You could never bring yourself to part with it.

Your body was already buzzing as you reached for your phone, telling yourself that this was okay, that this was the last time you’d use Changbin’s racy instructions to help you please yourself. That you’d delete the voicemail after one more orgasm.

Though you’d said that last time, too

And the time before that. 

You heard the shower begin to run in the distance, pulling your lower lip between your teeth and closing your eyes as you battled against your conscience. These thoughts always marked the start of this secretive ritual, finding the need to convince yourself that it was fine. 

Telling yourself that, despite how hurt your boyfriend would be if he knew, this wasn’t actually cheating. 

That, despite the guilt-spurred elusiveness of your actions, you weren’t being unfaithful.

Reasoning that after being strung along for the entirety of you and Changbin’s relationship, you’d earned a bit of dishonesty for yourself. 

The logic was just as flawed as it had been every time.

Yet, without fail, you could never let guilt ruin your second chance at an orgasm.

Winning the battle against your better judgment, you stared down at the play button, a white triangle against the black call log, noting the jarring incongruence of its purity and the current context in which you pressed it. And press it you did, covering the contact info you hadn’t been hurt enough to delete with your thumb. 

It didn’t feel quite as terrible if you didn’t see the name of the man whom you helplessly depended on to help you finish.

Changbin’s rasp meets your ears as you gather the wetness from between your legs, ignoring the universe’s desperate attempt at a reality check in the form of the difference your boyfriend’s cum made to the consistency of your slick.

“Slow circles, baby…”

You drew your hand slowly up, circling young fingers around your clit just as Changbin asked, sucking in a sharp inhale through the nose whist trying desperately to ignore the fact that the shamelessness of using one man’s cum but a different one’s voice turned you on.

“Harder,” your eyes fluttered closed as you obeyed, the vividness of your memories convincing you that you could the sensation of his breath against your cheek. The muscles of your backside twitched with your increasing sensitivity as you touched yourself, forcing you to buck upwards - pressing your clit harder into your hand as his voice urges you to pick up the pace.

“Nobody will ever make you come like I do.”

His words nearly growled through the phone, giving you the same delightful shiver they had when he’d say it to your face, putting a stutter in the once-even tempo of your ministrations.

You would’ve liked to say you were simply stroking his ego by allowing him to say those words with no contention back then. As you stifle yourself, muffling a moan down to a whimper at the sound of his filthy, pleasure-thickened coaching, you knew that your opinion hadn’t changed.

He was right, whether you were together or not.

An involuntary sharp intake of breath through your teeth distracts you from the thought as goosebumps rise on your arms. Touching yourself as Changbin panted his teachings into your ear was once again bringing you to a point that you’re no longer able to breathe solely through your nose.

As his recorded words became more staggered, obviously approaching release,  the blossoming heat in your abdomen began to spread like wildfire. As you tended to during these deceitful moments, you allowed yourself the indulgence of wondering what he’d looked like, touching himself to the thought of you. 

Had Changbin been sitting at his desk, sprawled back in his hand as he fisted his cock tightly? Had pearls of sweat rolled down his sharp chin, littering his desk with speckles of brine as thick strings of white soiled the floor?

Had he been laying down, satin sheets enviably caressing his sculpted frame? Was he shirtless, as he’d always been to sleep, as his breath grew hoarse? Stuttering as he spilled himself against the smooth expanse of his stomach?

You started panting as your arousal pools, tightening into a nearly painful coil due to the images your mind is painting. You moaned as you pressed your head back into the pillows, hips arching up from the mattress.

“Baby, ‘m close,” his voice sounded like a staggered rumble, like a sinful mix between a growl and a purr.

You could almost see the way his eyes used to roll back when he’d approach his climax, lashes fluttering as a string of profanities slurred from his lips

“Shit, baby, I’m gonna cum,” his voice was strained through clenched teeth, accompanied by the wet, uneven, positively lewd sounds of his hand pulling at his cock.

You grew more and more sensitive as you listened to him swear, throbbing with the nearness of your release.

Your pleasure was so heightened now that there wasn’t need to continue listening to his pornographic sounds. Your grip tightened forcefully on your phone, though, as a familiar heat passed through every fiber of your being.

You didn’t need to keep listening, no. Yet you did, shunning away a thought you didn’t want to acknowledge.

You kept listening because you wanted to.

You wanted to hear his labored breathing, his utterances of curses through clenched teeth, the slapping of his hand against the base of his shaft with every pump. You wanted to hear the way your name came out of his lips as choked cry. You wanted to listen as the sounds of his self-service crescendoed. You wanted to hear the strangled gasp that prefaced the slowing of his pace.

And so you did.

You wanted to hear the out of breath command he uttered next, too.

And so you did.

“Come for me.”

Your walls clenched around nothing as you did just that, finding your release to the recollection of how his jaw would go slack, unclenching as the waves of his orgasm washed over him. They fluttered as your own crashed over you, accompanied by memories of Changbin’s broad shoulders slumping as he lazily pumped his softening cock to ensure he was drained. 

His name tumbled from your lips like a whispered prayer as you came.

You laid there, in a thin sheen of sweat, melting into the bed as you caught your breath. You waited for your trembling legs to calm themselves, the heat from your skin and the scent of your arousal wafting from beneath the sheet as you pulled your hand away from your still-throbbing core.

Changbin’s sigh after cumming signified the end. There was no time for pillow talk or praise remaining, your shameful secret halted by the unfortunate limit imposed on voicemails. 

Ten minutes at a time. Ten minutes of Changbin’s intoxicating words and addictive sounds.

Ten minutes that you’d replayed for hours by now.

Yet, despite the time constraint, you still heard the familiar, disorganized sounds of heavy, staggered breaths. You yank your phone away from your ear, confusion only heightened by the surge of dopamine slowing your critical thinking.

You forced your bleary eyes to focus as you peered at the screen for answers. As soon as your vision had cleared enough for you to make out the blurred lines on your screen, the post-orgasm glow you’d barely gotten to enjoy shattered, replaced instantly with dread. 

Four words - two of them a name - and three numbers.

Seo Changbin. 

Outgoing call.

10:55. 

You could have fainted when you watched the seconds continuing to add up. 

10:56, 10:57, 10:58,

As they flipped to 10:59, the realization made your eyes widen, suddenly chilled despite how hot you’d felt a moment ago. 

On the other end of the line for eleven minutes was Changbin himself, listening to the broken little whimpers you made as you’d gotten off to what you’d thought was the old voicemail he’d left. 

Listening as you followed his every instruction.

Listening as you made yourself come undone.

Listening to the way his name sounded on your lips as you came.

You felt angry for only a moment at the fact that he’d even allow you to be so erotic, so obscene - instead taking the opportunity to join you in your ministrations, using you and your sounds to help accelerate his way to climax. 

You felt as if you had no right to be mad, though. You were the one that had accidentally called Changbin while trying to use the saved message - using him just the same.

Perhaps you’d been too entangled in the throes of pleasure to notice the slight differences in what had always been the same sequence of events.

Perhaps, in your desperation for release, you simply hadn’t cared to.

You put the phone up to your ear, the familiar post-orgasm raggedness growing clearer.

“I told you,” he chuckled breathlessly, words unrushed. You swallowed hard, unable to say anything in response. He filled the prolonged silence, a slight cockiness joining his otherwise languid demeanor, “Nobody will ever get you off like I can.”

You could hear the smirk on his lips. The same smirk he always wore when he’d make you the only promise he ever kept.

You had no idea what to say, shock joining the haze your orgasm had left you in on the list of reasons why words were not currently your strong suit.

So, you simply hung up. 

Just in time it seemed, as you hadn’t heard the shower turn off.

Your boyfriend walked into the room, fresh clothes and damp hair making him look far too sweet - far too good to be with someone who’d just done what you had.

At least it was an accident, your inadvertent call. You hadn’t meant to have phone sex with your ex in the very bed he’d been inside of you on no more than twenty minutes ago. You had simply meant to listen to a voicemail.

Not that you thought that really made it any better.

You watched as he grabbed a hoodie from the closet, humming happily to himself before slipping it on. He shot you a bright grin, which you forced yourself to return, as he told you he’d be back in a few hours. 

You forced your face to remain pleasant as he explained his errands to you, shaking your head as he asked if you wanted anything while he was out. He pecked you on the cheek after asking if you were sure, to which you assured him you were. 

You watched him exit the room, a heavy weight settling in your chest. You pulled the sheet up over your still-tingling, still completely bare chest as you felt your heart seize.

He definitely was far too sweet - far too good to be with someone who’d done what you just had.

Unsteady legs carried you to the bathroom to shower then, alone. You avoided the mirror, unwilling to face yourself after what you’d done. You took your time, scrubbing hard in an effort to remove the uncomfortable mixture of sweat, sex, and shame.

You didn’t feel like you got the entirety of the latter. 

You felt far too criminal in your nakedness to take any sort of care in your wardrobe selection, simply grabbing the first clean clothes you’d touched from your drawers. You walked into the living room, flopping miserably onto the couch before grabbing the tv remote, simply hoping something mindless could distract you from your guilt.

Before you could turn it on, though, you heard the chime of a text notification. Your breath caught in your throat, a certainty over who it was - without even looking - made your blood run cold.

That was fun. Come over sometime?

You knew you should say no. Maybe even block his number. Apologize if he felt led on or tell him to fuck off, that this was a mistake - because it was. 

Any of those would be better than what you’d ultimately ended up replying.

Maybe.

Despite your enigmatic reply, you couldn’t pretend not to be aware that you’d say yes eventually. You were sure Changbin knew that, too.

You couldn’t say it today, of course. 

Maybe you wouldn’t be able to for weeks. 

Yet, you knew with confidence that there would come a day that you’d find yourself taking him up on his offer. You knew that your desires would win out over your guilt, just as they did concerning the voicemail.

Of course you would eventually say yes, with something even more tantalizing dangling in front of you.

You tucked your phone away then, silently deciding to deal with your conscience on a different day as you tried to reassure yourself that you weren’t a terrible person. That it wasn’t your fault that the one promise he hadn’t broken would always ring true.

Nobody would ever fuck you like Seo Changbin.

[mokacheer]

hahaha thanks for the mass tag game @ruanbaijie this shall be fun!

aka: nine albums or songs I've been listening to lately x nine people I’d like to get to know better x tag game with no name

1. why did you choose your url? - no idea, my theories are that i was obsessed with rosario + vampire so i took moka, and since moka is cheery/happy i just bam. i honestly don't know 💀

2. any sideblogs? if you have them name them and why you have them. - i used to have a ton because younger me dabbled in the RP world (lets not remember those times but remember the cool people i befriended) but right now no just this blog and the other blog i help run <3 @otomokatsuhiro (if you love old anime youll immediately follow ;) )

3. how long have you been on tumblr? - since may 2012 😵 (save me)

4. do you have a queue tag? - nah

5. why did you start your blog in the first place? - an old friend of mine told me about it and actually made this blog for me. now thinking about it idk if it was her that came up with the name, if i had a different name to begin with... no clue :s

6. why did you choose your icon/pfp? - its yuki!!! must i explain why?! (plus it matches my vibe here alot of mutuals say im super sweet or a ray of sunshine ((ily it makes me happy everytime i get that hehe)))

7. why did you choose your header? - it just matches the overall pink cute vibe :p

8. what’s your post with the most notes? - still to this day its a 29 frame gif of a phone ending call... here

9. how many mutuals do you have? - i counted at the beginning of the year and i believe i had 108? but now obviously its 108+ :D

10. how many followers do you have? - 17.2k+ x-x

11. how many people do you follow? - 544! i remember at one point i wanted to keep the number limited but thats so stupid!!

12. have you ever made a shitpost? - uhhhh probably when i was younger. i used to constantly post #personal text posts so idunno

13. how often do you use tumblr each day? - help me

14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? - yeah a small amount of times, most would be reposters telling me "no this is my gif i made this! i wont remove this from my blog!" with my watermark clear as day in the corner lol..

15. how do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ posts - meh it's your blog at the end of the day, if you want to reblog something do it, if you dont dont. it's sad to see most people just like posts but they come from different platforms and fail to realize what kind of site tumblr is. hopefully eventually they will get it tho! amen

16. do you like tag games? - yes! i love that i get tagged in them but also forget alot of the time to ever get to doing them so i apologize for being late on this one hehe

17. do you like ask games? - plsssss i love seeing that notification light up in my inbox. it fills this bloggers heart with joy.

18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous? - oh i got a few @gojosattoru (where have you been ;w; </3), @hanae-ichihara (ill always miss you <3), DEFINITELY @taohs hehehe

19. do you have a crush on a mutual? - nope, having a crush on here has never happened for me :p

20. what is the last song you listened to? - charli xcx speed drive EASYFUN remix, its sooo gud

21. what are you currently watching? - the magical girl and evil lieun. are archenemies, fairy tail 100 years quest, maybe some other misc. stuff i cant think of rn.

22. sweet/ savoury/ spicy? - all of the above, i love sweet + spicy

23. what is your current relationship status? - single times *salute emoji*

24. what is your current obsession? - SMILING FRIENDDDSSSS asjdiaoshjdajsid

25. what are nine albums/songs you've been listening to lately? - aprils-bloom by julie areyouhome? by juno britpop by A.G. Cook right back by Frost children i like it by Frost children spring is coming with a strawberry in the mouth by Caroline Polachek magic sword by 4s4ki tome by veltpunch 365 by charli xcx

tagging: @taohs @cute-girls-from-vns-anime-manga @oneechangoddess @yuujies @scary-friend @fuwanek0 and others that wanna have fun

[demonsfate]

      𝐍𝐎𝐈𝐓𝐂𝐄𝐋𝐅𝐄𝐑  𝐍𝐖𝐎  𝐘𝐌  𝐄𝐃𝐈𝐒𝐄𝐁  𝐃𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐒  𝐈  ,𝐋𝐋𝐈𝐖  𝐘𝐌  𝐓𝐒𝐍𝐈𝐀𝐆𝐀

      𝐀𝐆𝐀𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐓  𝐌𝐘  𝐖𝐈𝐋𝐋,  𝐈  𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐍𝐃  𝐁𝐄𝐒𝐈𝐃𝐄  𝐌𝐘  𝐎𝐖𝐍  𝐑𝐄𝐅𝐋𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍

indie   jin  kazama  &&  devil  jin  of  the  tekken  series.  as  fought  by  wikia canon  divergent  (i  have  beef  with  TK6  ok)  and  hc  based READ  ABOUT  HERE  ||  OPEN  TAG  ||  RULES  UNDER  CUT.

MUTUALS  + FOLLOWING

I’ll only interact if we follow each other. However, non-mutuals can still like posts, reblog posts, & send me asks if they desire to. I only want to thread with mutuals because it’s less stressful.

I’m likely to softblock if your blog’s content makes me uncomfortable. If you decide to unfollow, please SOFTBLOCK me. Because I may not realize you unfollowed, and I may attempt interaction.

As for DUPLICATES? I don’t mind following other Jins, and I’ll happily interact with them! It could be multiverse, or twin AU. Hell, I could just play Devil and you could play Jin or vice versa!

This blog is very accepting of OCs and crossovers!

I am now completely stuck with Beta Editor as Tumblr has removed the option to switch to Legacy. Because of this, I solely write with Beta.

CANON DIVERGENCE

I try to adhere to canon. However, I have my own headcanons, theories, and takes that make my Jin unique from canon. I also hate how Tekken 6 handled Jin’s character. He was uncharacteristically cruel, and his “plot” made little sense. It also defeats the original purpose of his character and why I love him so much. So while this blog still acknowledges 6, it was Devil Jin who started the war, and was in control of Jin’s body throughout all the events - Jin has NOTHING to do with it - Jin only gained strength and took back control near the very end, where he defeats Azazel. Thus, Jin’s own memories of 6, and the characters involved, are foggy or nonexistent.

Jin and Devil Jin are not the same person - Devil Jin isn’t just Jin, but he’s corrupted by the “devil gene.” In my depiction, Devil Jin is a separate entity who is parasitic and shares the same body as Jin.

Speaking of which - although this is, technically, a dual muse blog - if muse isn’t specified, then the default will always be Jin (as, he’s usually the one in control with the exception of TK6′s events) unless I feel the interaction fits Devil Jin or your muse has a more established relationship with Devil.

I don’t adopt movies (live action, OVA, or blood vengeance) the anime (bloodline) comics, or any adaptations in my canon. I only follow (most of) game canon, as trying to piece together the adaptations is too difficult as they’re very inconsistent with the games’ lore, and considered non-canon, too. However, I may cherry pick little things from adaptations if I see them fitting.

NSFW + Triggering content

Posts may contain some triggering content, frequent ones that’ll pop up are abuse/neglect, suicidal thoughts/ideation, and cannibalism may be one - even if Devil Jin isn’t a human, he still has a humanlike appearance. I try to tag all triggers. I refuse to write incest, or p*dophilia too. I will block you if you write these contents because they make me very uncomfortable.

Smut threads will be present. If I put them under a readmore only depends on if my partner does it or not. But I’ll always tag them as “spicy” - since Tumblr likes to block the tag “NSFW” and that makes it difficult to find posts tagged it for later.

GODMODDING + METAGAMING

Godmodding is a no and metagaming is also a no

SHIPPING

This blog is multiship. I’m okay with pre-established relation/friendships as long as they’re plotted first - or, as for friendship, as long as it’s already established in canon itself. (Such as Xiaoyu and Hwoarang.)

REBLOGGING

Anything but threads are rebloggable! Because typically my partners don’t like threads to be reblogged. Mutual or not, you’re free to reblog my ooc posts, my shitposts, memes, my art (highly encouraged!) I don’t mind at all!!! 🥺🥺🥺 Also, if you sent in a meme or anything in the inbox, you’re very free to turn it into a thread.

MUN DOES NOT EQUAL MUSE

I’m not Jin or Devil Jin - please don’t get mad at me (the mun) or assume I share the same beliefs because of my muses’ statements or actions.

GRAPHICS + ICONS

All graphics used on this blog are made by me unless stated otherwise. 

MUN

Hi hi hi! I am the mun, you can call me by Wikia or anything, I am 25 years old. If you made it down here, I just wanna say that there’s no password to send and thank you for reading and respecting my rules! I hope to write with you soon. ❤︎

[cockroachmotherfucker10]

PRIDEFALL UPDATE: real or fake?

What is Pridefall?

Operation Pridefall, also known as Project Pridefall or simply Pridefall, refers to an attack planned by /pol/ (a political discussion board on the anonymous website 4chan) for all of June, AKA Pride month. The original 4chan thread, which has since been deleted, was primarily focused on “redpilling,” i.e. spreading queerphobic propaganda to make people question the LGBTQ+ community. However, now that it has spread outside 4chan, there are threats of harassing, doxxing, and outing queer people (especially minors) on social media, spamming gore and rape videos in private messages and Pride tags, and even kidnapping, assaulting, or killing queer people in real life.

Specific targets include Twitter, Instagram, TikTok, and dating apps. The goal is to go after smaller accounts so the queerphobia isn’t lost in the comments.

Is Pridefall real?

Yes and no.

I searched “pridefall” on 4chan last night. Apparently any new threads on it are being deleted, and anytime someone mentions it, everyone calls them slurs and says no one is doing it.

However, Pridefall is gaining some traction on Instagram--I have seen it for myself. I don’t have TikTok or any dating apps, but I’ve heard that some people are spamming homophobia on TikTok. As for Twitter, I only looked briefly, but I saw some Pridefall accounts there, as well as a lot of warnings and blocklists from people who are worried about it.

I’ve also heard that there have been a few Reddit and Discord raids, and that there is an Operation Pridefall Discord server (someone who spied on them says they have been banned on Discord as well as a platform called Riot before, so very few people are left on the Discord server now).

What do you think, Lia?

This is not coming from 4chan. No one on 4chan is interested anymore.

Most likely, people outside of 4chan heard about it and decided to take matters into their own hands.

The original 4chan thread wanted to make Pridefall “normie-palatable” by avoiding Nazi imagery or other overt unpleasantness, but I have seen a LOT of both on Instagram. This reinforces my belief that 4chan isn’t doing this.

A lot of the people behind this are young, or at least unsophisticated. Most of the Pridefall accounts on Instagram engage in very childish trolling, and one of them said they were a minor. Some of the threats I’ve seen are so outlandish that I can only imagine they came from a fairly young person.

My guess? Most of these people are around 13-19.

There are also very few of them and some of them probably have multiple accounts. Anti-Pridefall accounts outnumber them by far.

However, on Instagram I’ve seen Pridefall accounts following each other and commenting on each other’s posts, so there may be a few groups working together.

A lot of this shit is going to get deleted. I know Instagram is working through reports very slowly right now because they have fewer people available due to COVID-19, but most of the worst accounts I saw last night were deleted by this morning. I saw some more accounts deleted today.

Most, if not all, of these Pridefallers are just trying to scare us. Because they’re probably quite young, there’s very few of them, their accounts keep getting deleted, and law enforcement can track online activity, there is no way they have the balls or resources needed to coordinate major attacks.

There is a very, very slight chance this could spill over into real life, but as long as you practice basic online safety, you will be fine.

That being said, if you are threatened or doxxed by a Pridefall account, PLEASE contact the police. Better safe than sorry.

I do think that the threat of being doxxed or outed is more real than the threat of being attacked. I have already seen one Pridefall account who posted a trans boy’s address on Instagram (he is okay, he posted recently) and another who posted someone else’s address.

There is little chance this will last throughout Pride month. Apparently the goal is for Pridefall to worsen until the end of June, but given that this is most likely just some vastly outnumbered teenage trolls who are bored in quarantine, I seriously doubt they’ll be able to stay interested for a whole month.

This might not be as big on Tumblr. Tumblr is a lot more anonymous than, say, Instagram, which will hopefully deter would-be doxxers. It’s also known to be a highly liberal and queer-friendly site, so any Pridefaller with half a brain cell should know that A) their content is sure to be outnumbered and reported (only us Tumblr users know how bad staff is at deleting questionable stuff), and B) anyone with the original goal of “redpilling” is sure to fail here. Plus, I only remember seeing few, if any, mentions of Tumblr on Pridefall planning threads.

Still, expect to see some Pridefall activity here. Unsurprisingly, not all of these Pridefallers have half a brain cell. Some of them will definitely be unable to resist the lure of a community as openly queer as Tumblr, and we’ve all seen or heard about doxxing, harassment, gore, Nazis, and queerphobes on here. Also, 4chan has historically had some beef with Tumblr, so young teenage boys who idolize 4chan may target us for that reason.

How can I stay safe?

If you have any social media accounts where you A) have posted identifying personal information, and B) are openly supportive of the LGBTQ+ community (especially if you’re queer yourself), put them on private for June. Any other accounts are probably fine to stay public.

If you need a private Tumblr, you can make a password-protected secondary account and only share the password with mutuals you trust.

It is probably okay to be openly queer on a private account (e.g. have pronouns/rainbow emojis in your Instagram bio), since a private account is not likely to be doxxed. But if you want to be extra careful, remove queer identifiers from anything that is publicly visible.

Use Pridefall blocklists. They’re all over Instagram and Twitter. I may repost some here.

Report any Pridefall accounts you see. This is VERY important because this is how we can actually get rid of Pridefall content.

DON’T RESPOND TO ANY PRIDEFALLERS WHO PERSONALLY INTERACT WITH YOU. I know it’s tempting to give a snarky reply, but if they message you, comment on your post, etc, just block them. Seriously, don’t feed the trolls. It's exactly what they want.

Make sure your password game is strong. Use a different password for every site (I know, I know, it sucks), and use passwordmeter.com to test their strength. Write them all down on a piece of paper.

Make sure your username game is strong. Don’t use the same username for multiple sites, and avoid putting personal information in your username, such as your name or birthday.

Do NOT open random links!! Pridefallers could message you links that will give you viruses or track your IP address.

Don’t accept DMs or follows from people you don’t know. Pridefall accounts don’t always look like Pridefall accounts. Some of them are undercover.

Use a VPN. This is probably a little overkill unless you’re particularly at risk of being doxxed, but it will hide your IP address.

Be careful who you interact with. A lot of queer people on Instagram are DMing Pridefall accounts or commenting on their posts, but this could make you a target. As helpful as anti-Pridefall accounts are, you might even be targeted for following those.

Be wary of Pride tags. Unfortunately, a lot of Pridefall accounts plan to infiltrate tags commonly used by queer creators during Pride month. Use discretion when looking for queer content.

Be safe IRL. Lock your doors, lock your windows, be aware of your surroundings, don’t walk alone in poorly lit places, know basic self-defense, etc. Again, I absolutely do not think people will be attacked in real life, but you should be doing this shit all the time, not just in June. Thanks to COVID-19, you’re safer inside anyway!!

Make yourself hard to dox. Even though I have a very unusual first name (it's not really Lia), I am extremely hard to find online. I just went into an incognito browser window and searched my first and last name in quotation marks, but I didn’t find myself until page 4 of Google (and that result wasn’t even posted by me). I’m only half as careful as I could be, but here’s some of the things I do:

-I never use a picture of myself as my profile pic, except for Facebook and Instagram, which are both on the highest privacy settings possible.

-If I post identifying information on a public account (my college, my age, etc), I use a pseudonym or my first name only.

-On Instagram, I only use my first name, and I used special characters to type it, so you won’t find me if you search my name.

-On Facebook, I only accept friend requests from people I know. Most, if not all, of my Instagram followers are IRL friends, friends of IRL friends, and trusted Internet friends.

-If I’m really being paranoid, I’ll make a brand-new email account to sign up for a site. That way, my accounts aren’t all linked through one email address.

-Before I post a picture online, I delete the EXIF data with verexif.com, since EXIF data can hold GPS coordinates.

🌈 Stay safe, everyone.

You will not be harmed. You will be okay. Like cockroaches, we are survivors, and we will get through this!! ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

-Mod Lia

[jayeeintheclouds-inactive]

all my loves.

(i have so many moots and i love you all) 😳 therefore due to my goldfish memory i have decided to do this im so sorry if i missed anyone

(to my moots, if you are uncomfortable with being added in this list, please do tell me and i will remove your name!)

p.s. I'M SO SORRY IF I ADDED YOUR NAME IN LATE AND DIDN'T REALISE WE WERE MOOTS 😭 i most likely didn't know your main was following me-

to my older moots: besties yall are more than mutuals to me 😩🥰😳 i want to hug you /p and pat you on the head /p ily guys /p

to my newer moots: hello hello!! i'm more than happy to be friends with you guys <3

edit: GUYS PLEASE GO EASY ON MY HEART IT'S GOING TO COMBUST FROM HOW AMAZING YOU GUYS ARE ??

toki, @severedftaes luce, @glazelilyy zep, @captaincryolicious J, @yeetmeoffjueyunkarst abbie, @yumpty-dumpty almond, @almond-adeptus koi, @chichikoi sarah, @almondto-fu may, @mayple karl, @pippapeg jia, @urujiako sin, @simplyxsinned nola, @nolawritesfanfics ez, @noirkkat mika, @mikachuchu lane, @teyvattherapist kat, @test-tube ven, @hushyouu rin, @nurserinnn lyz, @simp-lyzity genesis, @abyssheart blue, @bluexiao rain, @ventirain boo, @bookuya kk, @ghostly-march curse, @hqrbinger catte, @catcze shuu, @heaven-dissolution karma, @marius-z sherry, @ajaxeology sam, @3rdgymbros mo, @mooscutely yua, @yua1106 xiao, @sunii-cafe

[thepoppypress]

An Apple A Day Keeps The Doctor Away (If Thrown Hard Enough)

Synopsis: 

Alternatively,

5 times Dr. Peter Parker took care of the Bat Family.

+1 time they took care of him.

Peter rued the day he became a doctor. He should’ve listened to Mr. Stark and went to MIT like the genius had wanted him to. No. No, instead, he had to go to medical school. He wanted to ‘help people’ and ‘heal them,’ like Dr. Strange. What a fucking joke.

(On the other hand, Dr. Strange was near tears when Peter told him he had gotten accepted into medical school.)

And then, he gets hired by one of the richest, if not the most wealthy bachelor in Gotham City (a city that Mr. Stark hadn’t wanted him to move to in the first place) and his multiple children (most of whom are not related to him) through a mutual acquaintance, Dr. Leslie Thompkins, to be their in-home family doctor. He was on top of the world. If only he knew it was all downhill from there.

-----

1) Bruce:

Peter stared at the handsome man sitting atop the bed in incredulity. Everyone else in the room was silent. Very much so silent. Even Alfred kept himself out of this. He knew better.

‘They should all know better by now,’ Peter thought bitterly.

“So let me get this straight,” Peter said, breaking out of his disbelieving stare and pinching the bridge of his nose. Bruce cut in before the doctor could continue.

“There’s not much to get straight, Dr. Parker.” Peter gave his boss a deadpan stare.

“So you’re saying that you currently have three, three holes in you because of a horseback riding incident?”

“Exactly, Doctor.” Bruce nodded sagely, completely serious. Well, at least that’s what he seemed like. Peter’s expression did not change.

“And that I had to dig the bullets of said three holes because yOU WERE SHOT DURING A HORSEBACK RIDING INCIDENT?! DO YOU KNOW HOW RIDICULOUS YOU SOUND?!” The five other men in the background winced as the doctor started chewing out the head of the household, boss or not.

‘Master Bruce, you loveable and absolute moron,’ Alfred thought while Peter was still flailing his arms about, lecturing Bruce Wayne like it was his place. And Bruce was letting him.

“IS THERE ANYTHING YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR YOURSELF?!” A beat of silence dropped before Bruce’s deep baritone said something, eyes entirely too innocent.

“It was an accident?” It was said as a question. Peter stared in absolute mortification. Slowly, the pale skin of his face turned a lovely shade of pink as a flush of anger slowly made its way towards the roots of his hair.

‘Bruce,’ his sons collectively thought with a flinch. The doctor would not like that answer.

“ARE YOU FU-” Peter seemed to burst outward like an explosion.

‘Oh dear,’ Alfred thought while sweating lightly, ‘it looks as though we’ll be there for a while.’ Afterall, it was an official rule. No one interrupted when the good doctor was lecturing.

(It also seemed like Dr. Parker knew. Oh damn it all to hell.)

-----

2) Dick:

“I want you to stay off of that for a few weeks Dick. I know it’s a sprain but I don’t want any lasting damage. Promise me you will.” It was a demand, plain and simple.

“I promise.” The statement was said with a beaming smile. Peter gave a terse one back and sent the first son on his way. After he was gone, Peter thought a bit.

It was entirely too innocent and convincing enough, he supposed. But he knew better. Dr. Peter Parker sighed in frustration.

‘Like father, like son, it seems.’

------

Dick collapsed onto the couch, Damian grunting as he drops his eldest brother unceremoniously. He then slumped down next to his brother as they groaned in unison. The Riddler. Again.

Bruce, Tim, and Jason were also in the room, slouching in their own chairs, licking their own wounds that really shouldn’t have gotten. If only they hadn’t started playing that damn game in the middle of the battle, despite Bruce’s good efforts to stop it halfway through once he realized what his sons were doing.

The oldest Wayne son fidgeted a bit before hissing in pain, clutching his leg. The same one that was injured about a week ago. Damian’s eyes lit up in mild alarm.

“Grayson, is that not the leg that Dr. Parker told you to stay off?” Cobalt blue eyes swiveled to meet jade green before a sheepish smile filled out Dick’s face. Three other sets of eyes came to stare at their oldest brother expectedly.

“Well-” A voice seemed to come from nowhere.

“Why yes it is, Damian. How keen of you to notice.” Said doctor melted out of the shadows. The sons startled and even Bruce seemed to be slightly panicked. Sometimes, it was as if he was better than them at going places undetected.

“P-Peter.” Dick was the first to snap out of it and instantly knew what position he was put in. “Look, I-I know I shouldn’t have-” Dick stopped mid-sentence, realizing his mistake.

“Shouldn’t have what, Dick?” Peter waited for his patient to self incriminate himself. “It’s okay, I’m not mad. I just want to know what you shouldn’t have done.” It was a siren’s croon, lulling them into a false sense of security. It was dangerous, they all knew. Oh, did they know. Dick gulped.

“I actually have no idea what you’re talking about.” The others seemed to shrink back into their chairs as the dark aura around the doctor grew.

‘Oh shit,’ they all thought.

“Oh,” it was said mildly enough, but the murderous intent behind it was obvious. “Is that so?” Dick pressed closer to Damian as Peter stalked forward, procuring a wheelchair from seemingly nowhere.

Positioning it in front of the couch, Peter reached forward and lifted Dick like he weighed nothing (as if he didn’t have five inches and about 40 pounds on him) and deposited him onto the seat. Before the acrobat could wriggle and squirm about, Peter pressed a button that released restraints on the oldest, holding him in place. Horror was evident on Dick’s face.

“B! B! Help me!” He pleaded to his adoptive father as he sat at the desk. Bruce only stared at the wood beneath his elbows, back and shoulders tense. It seemed that he would not be helping him tonight.

“Shall we go now? It seems we need to revisit some old lessons.” The smile on Peter’s face was sweet, but his teeth gleamed white and sharp, eyes even sharper. Dick wailed as Peter forcibly removed him from the room. They were gone all of three seconds before Jason burst out laughing.

“Oh shit! May he rest in peace! Good luck Dickiebird! You’re gonna need it!” The man convulsed with laughter, a sentiment neither of his other brother’s shared for they both felt the dark aura moving towards the room once again.

Peter poked his head back in, Dick still struggling against the restraints with the force of a wildman. Jason, once he caught sight of the good doctor, stopped laughing immediately.

“Don’t think you guys are off the hook.” There it was. That entirely too-sweet smile. “I’m coming back for you all. We’ll be talking about that game of Hide-And-Go-Seek-Tag in the middle of a mission..”

He disappeared again, dragging Dick off to his quarters, leaving the remaining brothers and their father with one thought in their heads, and while they would’ve escaped while they could if it was someone else, they knew better than that. It was Peter after all.

‘Fuck,’ was the collective thought.

-----

3) Jason:

Alfred sipped his tea quietly, content to the core as Bruce read the weekly newspaper and Damian buttered some toast for himself. It was a beautiful Monday morning in the Wayne Manor in the middle of May. The butler’s expression didn’t change one bit as a resounding crash was heard above them.

“GET BACK IN THE BED, JASON PETER TODD!”

“NO, FUCK YOU!” More thumps occurred as Alfred continued to drink his hot beverage. There was a struggle before Dr. Peter Parker’s strangled voice demanded,

“DICK! GO GET THE TRANQUILIZER!”

“YESSIR!” Loud footsteps trailed away. The three in the dining room did not pause in their activities. Alfred continued to sip, Bruce continued to read, and Damian bit into the toast.

“TIM! THE ROPES!” More footsteps amongst the loud struggle.

“FUCK OFF! YOU’RE NOT MY MOM!”

“I’M YOUR DOCTOR. I’M WORSE!”

“HERE’S THE TRANQ! AND THE ROPES!”

“WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?! AN INVITATION?! FUCKING SHOOT HIM ALREADY!” Another struggle on the floor before a loud thump and the mansion quieted. Bruce paused in reading, looking up to the ceiling.

“Seems like they finally got Jason back into bed.”

“It would seem that way, sir.”

“Tt.”

‘How peaceful,’ Alfred thinks.

-----

4) Tim:

Paranoia swept through Tim as the family doctor watched him bring his coffee to his lips. Said doctor had brought said coffee and said doctor’s eyes were on said coffee. Tim’s eyes widened. There was something wrong with the coffee. Hurriedly, he brought his favorite drink the whole wide world into the nearest bathroom to pour it out, tears in his eyes as he did so.

‘Such a waste,’ he bemoaned. Tim trudged back into the hallway, bypassing Peter who had followed him to make another cup of coffee, on his own so he was sure there was nothing in it. Like prescribed sleeping pills.

Even as he did make it, Peter’s doe brown eyes never left him. More waves of paranoia crashed into Tim, even more than the tiredness. Peter’s eyes were still on the cup. Tim’s mental voice was screaming with outrage and loss.

There must’ve been something in the coffee beans. Tim took a sip and instantly spit it back out. It tasted fine but there must be something wrong. There had to be.

The process repeated five more times. Each time Tim remade the coffee, Peter eyed it and it made Tim spit it back out and remake another one, insisting within his own mind that there was something wrong with it.

Eventually, Tim gave up on coffee for the day and went back up to his office, coffee-less. Peter followed him there too.

Thirty minutes later, Tim could barely keep his eyes open. Squinting up at the figure leaning against the doorway, he screeched out.

“Why?! What did I do to you?!” The figure said nothing. They only waved. Two larger figures joined the lone one. “WHY?!” A deep voice shushed him.

“Relax, Replacement. This was a long time coming. You’re lucky the doc held out until now.” Tim dry-heaved, head dizzy with the need to sleep.

But Tim couldn’t sleep.

“I have work to do!” He wailed desperately.

“We know, babybird. That’s why Damian’s going to help out.” The second youngest son sobbed at the name.

“He’s going to ruin everything!” A voice scoffed.

“I appreciate your faith in me, Drake.”

“Alright,” Peter’s voice cut through, and was soft but no less commanding, “take him away, boys. Do whatever it takes to keep him in bed.” Tim could hear the smirk in Jason’s voice as he turned to plead helplessly at Peter’s kind, beautiful face. If only that face matched the personality.

“Will do, doc.” With that, Dick and Jason dragged their little brother away for some much needed sleep.

Tim’s screams echoed through the mansion.

(Frankly, Damian thought they were a rather beautiful sound. One he could definitely fall asleep to.)

-----

5) Damian:

Jason waited with an evil grin on his face, waiting for his youngest brother to get out of the operation room. Damian Al Ghul-Wayne, Ibn al Xu Ffasch, had just gotten his wisdom teeth removed. Already 18 years old, Damian had insisted that he not needed them taken out but was left in pain for the past few days. It turns out that one of them had gotten infected somehow and they needed to be removed post-haste.

Peter waited with the rest of the Wayne family (being a doctor, he didn’t know the first thing about teeth. He was no expert in that field. But when Damian had insisted that he get them out himself, he suddenly became an expert at wrestling a scalpel away from a trained child-assassin while simultaneously holding a conversation with a colleague of his on rushing the surgery. Thank God for rich people.) while Damian was in surgery.

About an hour later, they had successfully removed the abscess and Damian’s wisdom teeth while doping him on a lot of anesthesia. Jason rubbed his hands together gleefully, itching to get to his phone to start recording. Blondie would love this one.

-----

By the time they got home, Damian was still asleep. Dick and Bruce carried Damian (for an 18 year old, he sure was large) into Peter’s office, laying him down on the bed for monitoring. While it was only wisdom teeth removal, Peter had to make sure the stitches were cleaned thoroughly and rinsed out with salt water.

Only thirty minutes had passed when Damian groggily woke and evidently, high on the anesthesia. Tim, who was sitting right next to the bed, quietly engaging Peter in an interesting conversation about the theory of time and relativity, was instantly at attention.

“Damian?” Tim whispered and Damian’s eyes popped right open, staring up at Tim in disbelief. “Damian?”

“Oh my God.” Tim glanced at Peter, who was also slightly confused and a bit amused. “This is Heaven. Hi Dr. Parker.” Peter chuckled.

“Hello Damian.” Said man smiled dopily (at which point Tim started recording), before turning back to his brother with puzzlement.

“Wait, if this is Heaven, why are you here?” A moment of silence passed before Tim’s expression became deadpan and Peter’s shoulders shook with laughter.

“It’s part of an exchange program. Gandhi’s down there at a strip club with Mussolini.” That made Peter laugh outright. It wasn’t much longer before Damian went back to sleep.

-----

“Hey Jason.”

“Hmm?”

“Wake up your brother so I can take care of his gums.”

“Okay.”

“...”

“...”

“I SWEAR TO GOD, IF YOU HIT HIM-”

“Okay, okay! Jeez!”

-----

+1) Peter:

“ACHOO!” Dick winced as the doctor of the house sniffled into the tissue. Warm temperature, runny nose, and bad cough meant a sick Dr. Peter Parker.

“You need to relax, Pete.” Dick’s tone was pleading. For someone who took such good care of others, he was a bad patient when it came to himself.

“Ugh,” Peter’s nasally tone broke through, obviously horribly congested. “I’m fine, Dick. I just need to walk it off.” Disbelief showed on the eldest Wayne sibling’s face as Peter attempted to get out of his bed. A calloused hand pushed him back down and even while sitting on the bed, he swayed dangerously. Dick was very concerned.

“Nope. I can’t do this alone. I’m getting Alfred.”

Not five minutes later, Alfred arrived with warm, spicy soup (cooked about an hour ago when Alfred had heard the telltale signs of a cold), a damp rag, and some medicine.

“Here, Dr. Parker. Eat some soup before drinking the medicine.” The spice cleared his sinuses well and the medicine made him very sleepy. It wasn’t long before he was out like a light, unaware of the adoring looks sent his way.

-----

Come early morning, Peter woke up well rested and feeling better than ever. The only problem was he couldn’t move. Turning his head to his right, he found Damian, in his tall and well muscled form clinging to his arm like a child.

It made Peter coo internally.

Dick was on his left, cradling Peter to his side and Tim snuggled on Dick’s chest, a blanket draped over all four of them.

All three brothers were positioned so that the doctor wouldn’t be able to escape without alerting any of the others.

He couldn’t move his legs either, Peter realized. Looking down, he noticed Jason’s head pillowed on the meat of his calf, arresting his movement and trapping him in a very comfortable and warm prison.

Bruce was beside the bed, sitting in a chair in an uncomfortable looking position that would surely put a crick in his neck.

‘Oh well,’ Peter thinks with a smile on his face, halfway back to sleep already, ‘it’s not like I can move any time soon.’

The ‘just the way I like it,’ was unsaid but unconsciously there.

[frmartinshomiliesandreflections]

27th April >> Fr. Martin’s Gospel Reflections / Homilies on John 10:22-30 for Tuesday, Fourth Week of Eastertide: ‘The sheep that belong to me listen to my voice’.

Tuesday, Fourth Week of Easter

Reflections (11)

(i) Tuesday, Fourth Week of Easter

In today’s gospel reading Jesus declares, ‘the sheep that belong to me listen to my voice’. An essential element of following Jesus is listening to his voice. We are to be constantly asking ourselves, ‘What is the Lord saying to us? What is he saying to me?’ This is the action of discernment. We try to discern, in the circumstances of our day to day lives, what the Lord is asking of us, the path he wants us to take. The first reading suggests that Barnabas knew how to listen to the voice of the shepherd. When the gospel was first preached to non-Jews in the city of Antioch, and a new kind of local church began to be formed consisting of both Jews and pagans, the church in Jerusalem decided to send Barnabas to Antioch to investigate this new development. When he got there, according to the reading, ‘he could see for himself that God had given grace’. He discerned that this unexpected development was from God and that the Lord was asking him to support what was happening in Antioch. This Barnabas proceeded to do, urging the whole church to remain faithful to the Lord. Barnabas continued to listen to what the Lord was saying to him. He discerned that Paul who had recently encountered the risen Lord just outside Damascus would be the ideal person to give leadership to the church in Antioch. After all, Paul knew the Lord was calling him to be the apostle to the Gentiles and here was a church with a significant number of Gentile converts. So, Barnabas went to Tarsus and brought Paul with him back to Antioch, where Paul became a significant presence in that church. Barnabas inspires us to keep listening to what the Lord may be saying to us in and through the circumstances of our daily lives. It is said of Barnabas in that reading that he was ‘filled with the Holy Spirit’. It is the Holy Spirit who helps us to discern what the Lord is saying to us. If we really listen to the Lord with the help of the Holy Spirit, the Lord will work through us in ways that build up the church and enrich our world, just as he worked through Barnabas.

And/Or

(ii) Tuesday, Fourth Week of Easter

The phenomenon of theft is much more common than it used to be. We are much more security conscious than we were in the past. We generally think of the phenomenon of stealing in relation to things, to objects of various kinds. We also know that people can be stolen. We refer to this as kidnapping or people trafficking. When this happens people are being treated as objects or things. In the gospel reading this morning, Jesus declares that on one will ever steal one of his followers from him or from his heavenly Father. Jesus seems to be saying there that if we continue to seek to follow him, he will hold onto us. He is speaking here as the good Shepherd who is prepared to lay down his life so that the members of his flock can have life and have it to the full. There are no lengths to which the Lord will not go to hold onto us, to keep us in relationship with him. There are forces in the world that seek to undermine that relationship and even destroy it. Jesus was very aware of that reality. That is why he taught us to pray, ‘Lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil’. Yet this morning’s gospel assures us that the Lord’s hold on us is stronger than the forces which seek to remove us from him. All he asks is that we keep listening to his voice and keep trying to follow him. If we do that we can be sure that we will never lose the firm hold of the good Shepherd.

 And/Or

(iii) Tuesday, Fourth Week of Easter

In this morning’s gospel reading Jesus speaks as the shepherd who looks after each member of his flock and keeps them all united to himself. He says that ‘they will never be lost and no one will ever steal them from me’. He is declaring there that if we do our best to keep following him, if we keep on trying to listen to his voice, he will keep us faithful to himself. He will not allow the forces that are hostile to our relationship with him to get the better of us. Just as shepherd will not allow any of his flock to be stolen, because he is so protective of them, the Lord will not allow us to fall away from him, because he is so protective of us, as long as we want to remain a member of his flock and do not deliberately walk away from him. The gospel reading suggests that just as a shepherd holds his flock together, it is the Lord who holds the church together, the community of his followers. His investment in us will always be greater than our investment in him. We are being reminded that the life of the church and the quality of our own personal relationship with the Lord is not all down to us. Yes, we have a role to play; we have to listen to his voice and endeavour to go where he leads. Yet, his work on our behalf is always more significant than our work on his behalf.

And/Or

 (iv) Tuesday, Fourth Week of Easter

In the gospel reading Jesus declares that no one will steal his disciples from him. It is a very reassuring promise for all of us. Jesus is speaking as the good shepherd who defends the members of his flock in times of danger, who stands up against the thieves and robbers who intend to do harm to the flock. He is the good shepherd who is prepared to put his life on the line for his flock. Indeed he has already done so, laying down his life so that we may have life and have it to the full. We seek to follow the Lord in the knowledge that he will stop at nothing to ensure that we remain members of his flock, people who belong to his new family, the community of believers we call the church. Saint Paul had that same conviction which he expressed in his letter to the Romans when he said, ‘If God is for us, who is against us?’ God is for us in and through Jesus our good shepherd. The Lord will not allow anything or anyone to come between himself and ourselves. We have a part to play, of course. We need to listen to his voice and to keep him in view so that we can take our lead from him. Yet, the Lord’s part in our relationship with him is always so much greater than ours. Therein lies our confidence, especially in times of struggle and failure.

 And/Or

(v) Tuesday, Fourth Week of Easter

Barnabas who appears in this morning’s first reading from the Acts of the Apostles is one of the most attractive characters in the New Testament. Barnabas was a nick name; it meant ‘Son of Encouragement’. He had a reputation for encouraging people. That is very evident from that reading we have heard this morning. When something new was happening in the city of Antioch, when pagans were coming to believe in Jesus as well as Jews, Barnabas was sent down from Jerusalem to look at what was happening. He like what he saw and gave them all great encouragement, urging them all to remain faithful to the Lord. He immediately went off to Tarsus to look for Saul, or Paul, who had recently come to faith in Christ and Barnabas encouraged him to go to Antioch and support this new development there. Paul went on to become a leading member of the church in Antioch. Barnabas was what we would call today, an enabler. That is part of the calling of each one of us. We are called to encourage one another in the faith, to help one another to grow in our relationship with the Lord, to enable one another to be faithful. That ministry of mutual encouragement was very important in the early church and is just as important today.

 And/Or

(vi) Tuesday, Fourth Week of Easter

Barnabas features prominently in today’s first reading. He is described there as a good man, filled with the Holy Spirit and with faith. He was a leader of the church in Jerusalem and he approved very much of what he saw happening in the church of Antioch where the gospel was being preached not only to Jews but to pagans as well. He was also someone who had the insight to see that this new and exciting development in the church of Antioch was the perfect place for the recently converted Saul to exercise his gifts. Barnabas introduced Saul to the church in Antioch and Saul went on to become a leading member of that church, and the church became an important spiritual home for Saul. Barnabas was one of those people who made way for others, who have the generosity of spirit to see that that a certain situation could benefit from the gifts of someone else. Today we might call such a person a facilitator or an enabler of others. We all have a role to play in calling forth the gifts of others by recognizing situations that would be ideally suited to them and by creating space for them in which to work. The Lord may not be calling on us to take on some particular work but he may be calling on us to encourage someone else to take it on, as Barnabas encouraged Paul.

 And/Or

(vii) Tuesday, Fourth Week of Easter

In this morning’s gospel reading, Jesus tells the Jews that the works he does in his Father’s name are his witness; what he does bears witness to his identity as the one sent from God. We bear witness to Jesus by what we say, but above all by what we do, by our works. In the first reading we have a good example of someone who bears witness to Jesus by his works. In Antioch Barnabas witnessed the new development of a community of believers consisting of both Jews and Gentiles. He then travelled all the way to Tarsus to encourage Paul to come to Antioch and to work among the believers there. Barnabas saw that the new development in Antioch was a great opportunity for Paul to use his gifts and he obviously saw that the church in Antioch could greatly benefit from Paul’s gifts. Barnabas linked a person and a place to the mutual benefit of both. This work of Barnabas allowed the risen Lord to continue his work. We all have opportunities from time to time to create openings for people that allow the Lord’s work to be done. Creating such openings for others is just one example of the many good works we can do that bear witness to the Lord.

 And/Or

(viii) Tuesday, Fourth Week of Easter

Many of us are concerned about break-ins at the moment. We are anxious lest someone might steal from us. We take various security precautions to prevent that from happening. In the gospel reading this morning, Jesus makes reference to stealing. He declares that no one will ever steal his followers from him. It is as if Jesus is saying that he has such a strong grip on his followers that no one will ever take them from him against his will. When you reflect on that saying of Jesus, it is indeed very reassuring. Jesus will do all in his power to keep us united with himself and to prevent us from being taken away from him or falling away from him. Yet, there is something that we must do as well. In the gospel reading, Jesus also declares, ‘The sheep that belong to me listen to my voice’. We need to pay attention, in some way, to the Lord. We try to hear what he may be saying to us; we seek to follow where he is leading us. If we do that, the gospel reading suggests that we can be assured that the Lord will do the rest. The Lord’s contribution to the relationship between us and him is much more significant than ours. Our ultimate salvation is much more the Lord’s doing than ours. Therein lies our confidence and hope.

 And/Or

(ix) Tuesday, Fourth Week of Easter

Barnabas features in this morning’s first reading. According the Acts of the Apostles, the name Barnabas means ‘son of encouragement’. It was a kind of a nickname given to him because he had a reputation for giving encouragement to others. He was an enabler; he brought out the best in others. We see that gift of Barnabas at work in this morning’s reading. Following on his conversion, Paul had returned to Tarsus, his home city. Barnabas could see that the emergence of a new kind of the church in Antioch, a mixed church of Jews and Gentiles, was crying out for someone like Paul, a Jew who had become the apostle to the Gentiles. Barnabas brought Paul from Tarsus to Antioch. Paul went on to make an important contribution to the life of the church in Antioch, and the church there, in turn, was a great support to Paul in his future missionary work. We all have the potential to be a Barnabas, to open doors for others so that the Lord can work powerfully through them. It takes a certain amount of humility to make way for the gifts of others. John the Baptist was such a person; he made way for Jesus, just as Barnabas made way for Paul. As parishioners of the parish of St  John the Baptist, we might think of ourselves as having a special calling to enable, to encourage, using our own gifts while also making way for the gifts of others.

 And/Or

(x) Tuesday, Fourth Week of Easter

In today’s gospel reading, Jesus speaks as the shepherd who will never allow any of his sheep to be stolen from him. Jesus invites us to imagine a shepherd who will stop at nothing to prevent any would-be thief from stealing even one sheep from his flock. It is an image that speaks to us of the Lord’s determination to hold onto us and prevent us from becoming separated from him. It is a consolation to know that the Lord is so devoted to us and so committed to our well-being, and, in particular, our ultimate well-being, our eternal well-being. As Jesus says in that gospel reading, ‘I give them eternal life’. Yet, we are not just passive sheep. When it comes to the Lord’s relationship with us, there is a role for us as well. The Lord will do all he can to hold onto us but we also have our part to play. In that gospel reading, Jesus declares that ‘the sheep who belong to me listen to my voice… they follow me’. The Lord is very attentive to us, but we need to attend to him as well. We try to listen to his voice, especially as it comes to us in the words of the gospels, of the New Testament as a whole, and, indeed, in all of the Scriptures. There are many voices competing for our attention today, but in the midst of them all we need to be attentive to the voice of the Lord so that we can follow him each day. We listen to him, we follow him, in the confidence that his devotion to us and to our ultimate well-being is unconditional.

 And/Or

(xi) Tuesday, Fourth Week of Easter

Today’s first reading makes reference to the persecution of the early church. After the execution of Stephen, the church in Jerusalem experienced a time of persecution. As a result, many of the Jewish Christians there had to flee from the city. Yet, Luke, who wrote the Acts of the Apostles, highlights that this experience of persecution was actually a blessing for the church. Some of those who fled Jerusalem brought the gospel to places where it had not been preached, including the city of Antioch, where the gospel was preached for the first time to pagans. As a result of the success of this mission, Barnabas came from Jerusalem to Antioch to give encouragement to this new development, and, in his wisdom, he went to Tarsus and brought Saul to Antioch, recognizing that this was a church where someone like Saul or Paul could flourish. Barnabas was proved right. The church of Antioch became Paul’s spiritual home and the base for his missionary journeys. So, according to Luke, great good came from the persecution of the church in Jerusalem. Difficult times for the church can often be moments of renewal, of new and unexpected growth. The Lord works in life-giving ways in what can seem to be desolate places. Resistance, even hostility, to the church’s message can allow the Lord to work in new ways. In the gospel reading, Jesus speaks out of an experience of resistance on the part of some to what he says and does. Yet, as Jesus declares there, ‘the Father… is greater than anyone’. God’s work will not ultimately be derailed. This realization can keep us hopeful and energized in difficult times.

Fr. Martin Hogan.

[retro-rezz-the-est]

Brat Tamer (Roman Reigns/Reader smut)

Summary: The reader’s not a wrestler, but she’s being intentionally bratty bc Ro doesn’t come back home to her. Ro decides to take things in his own hands when she takes her brattiness and her teasing too far.

Word Count: 6,510

Warnings: voyeurism, a small tiny large ass bit of possession/possessive behavior, Roman being an absolute beast who I want to wreck me into oblivion, mutual masturbation and I believe that’s it??? Forgive me if I’m wrong.

(A/N: This was supposed to be for reaching 600 followers, but I’m re-purposing it so it’s now @writing-reigns’s birthday gift! To my lovely talented amazing fantastic beautiful sassy big sister: thank you. You’re an absolute delight to be close to and I hope you know how much I love you. Happy birthday, darling!)

(A/N #2: Bracket texts are Roman’s btw lol)

You never did like it when he was away for so long.

In fact, you hated it.

You knew this was a part of his job: the leaving for long periods of time, the sparse days that he spent with you when he was home with you, the repeated sadness of seeing him leave. But, you knew that he loved you and you loved him, so you supported him anyway.

It would always be months before you saw him again, all smiling and warm with him in your arms. Video calls and late night chats on the phone weren’t enough for you. You needed him here and at home with you.

You longed for his touch, the warmth of his body seeping into your skin at night when he wrapped his arms around you and pulled you close to him. But now, his side of the bed was empty, and his babygirl would curl herself around his pillows to imitate the feeling of him against her.

You missed the way his hair would flop forward into his face and his constant struggle with trying to push it away, you laughing every single time because it was just too damn cute. Just thinking about all the little things he did just brought a smile to your face.

But, you also missed the more…sensual parts of your relationship.

He would always do things to you that none of your previous lovers ever did, and just thinking of them sent excited shivers down your spine. You missed the way his hands felt on your skin, pulling at your hair and tugging at your nipples as he too you with wild abandon and left you satisfied for hours.

You missed the feeling of his mouth on yours and his body pressed against you as he made love to you and made you cum more times than you could ever count on one hand. You missed the way he'd wrap a hand around your throat and hold you down on the bed as he pounded you from behind, banging the headboard against your bedroom wall as he called you his good slut over and over again.

He always had a way of making you feel like the most pampered princess in the world and the most dirty, naughty brat to ever exist and that was just perfect. You missed the sting of the marks from his hands on your ass whenever you misbehaved; doing it to yourself just never felt right at all.

You pined for his hands groping your slick breasts as he took you against the wall in your shower right after he got home from a long day at the gym, and you craved the feeling of him burying his tongue in your pussy whenever he woke up early on weekends.

All in all, you just…fuck, you needed him.

Which is why it hurt so much when he rang you up that night right as you were about to leave.

“Wait, what?! What do you mean you can’t come home yet?!”

“I mean, I can’t come home because I’m still on the road, babygirl,” Roman told you again, him sounding frustrated over the phone. You could hear the rumble of the bus he was on in the background, and the sound of the other Superstars chatting away right after.

“Ro, I’ve been planning this dinner for weeks! You said we’d go out when you got back, and that was supposed to be today!”

He was supposed to come home that Saturday afternoon, with his princess welcoming him at the door as he finally got back from the European leg of the company’s tour. It would’ve been your birthday the day he shou;d’ve been back and when you told him, he had promised to take you out for a nice dinner and left it to you to plan out the details.

You both were supposed to have fun, celebrate him coming back from the latest leg of the tour and you surviving another year on this planet, and come back to your apartment to reconnect after months of being away from each other.

It was supposed to be perfect.

But it wasn’t and he wasn’t here, and you were left without your man, fully dressed in the skin tight red sleeveless number he always loved, hair and makeup done with your heels on only to be left alone at your door.

“You can’t just cancel on tonight because of your stupid fucking job!”

You kicked off your heels and stormed into the living room, throwing your purse on the kitchen counter and stomping over to the couch. You glared out into nothing, hoping that he could feel the weight of your stare through the phone. “I literally got all dressed up for you to just ghost on me!”

“You watch your tone with me, babygirl,” Roman warned, venom seething from his mouth. “I’m sorry that I can’t just hop off this fucking bus, grab my bags and stow away on a plane for you and get there in five minutes! You said you supported me going away when we started dating, so support me.”

You’re full-on yelling at this point, red in the face and close to tearing his eyes out when he actually gets back. “How can I support you if you do shit like this to me?! You fucking promised-”

“Stop!” he shouted, shutting you up immediately. He never used his dom voice outside of the bedroom before and frankly, it scared you but you weren’t going to let down your front that easily. “Don’t fucking tell me what I promised, babygirl. I said I was sorry and Daddy will make it up to you when he gets back, as long as you stop being a fucking brat about all of this.”

“What-me? Being a fucking brat?! Excuse me, Roman, but I am completely justified in-”

“Babygirl, look,” he sighed, the deepness in his voice fading slowly. “I swear to you that I’ll make this up to you, okay?”

You could feel tears pricking your eyes. Whether they were out of pure anger or sadness, you couldn’t tell. “B-But Daddy-”

“No buts, princess. I’ll see you when I get home. We’re about to reach the hotel, and I’m really fucking tired. This conversation is over.”

And with that, he hung up, the dial tone beeping in your ear before you turnt your phone off.

You managed to call the restaurant and cancel your reservation, take off your dress and your makeup and remove your jewelry without throwing your phone across the hall or punching a hole through your bedroom door. Slipping on one of Ro’s old merch tees, you climbed into bed and sniffled, crushing his pillow against your chest and sighing angrily. You contemplated between tearing your hair out before you went to bed that night or just screaming into the pillow. So, you chose the latter.

“How dare he?!” you yelled. “Fucking hypocrite saying that he doesn’t break his promises, and yet goes and breaks one himself! And he called me a brat for being angry? The audacity!”

All he had to do was give you a warning beforehand, a message or anything but nothing! Nothing from him because he put so much attention on his fucking work that he never even thought about you at all!

You flopped onto your back and kicked the blankets away, grumbling and staring into the dark void that was your ceiling for what seemed like hours until an idea popped into your head. You grinned deviously as you began to weave the idea into a full-fledged plan and you rubbed your hands together maniacally.

If he wants a brat, fine. I’ll give him a brat. Let’s see how much good that does him in the long run.

Game on, Daddy, you thought as you closed your eyes and drifted off to sleep, a grin slowly making its way across your lips.

                                                 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He was in the hotel gym with a few of the other Smackdown Superstars when you had texted him that morning. Setting down the weights he was lifting, he paused his music and wiped the sweat from his brow. Just seeing your name light up his phone made him smile a little, even if he did insight the argument the two of you had a few days ago.

Y/n (Daddy’s Babygirl)

morning Daddy 😚😚

                                                             [Gmorning princess. How've you been?]

Y/n (Daddy's Babygirl)

just missing u, that's all 🥺

                               [You know I'll be home in a few days. We've been over this]

Y/n (Daddy's Babygirl)

i know, but i can't help it. i miss having u here to take care of me 😢💙. ur babygirl's pussy is so wet rn & she needs her Daddy to come take care of her 🥺

   [I'll take care of you and all your needs when I get back, just how you like it ;)]

Y/n (Daddy's Babygirl)

you better, or i may have to do it all by myself 😏😏😏

Roman looked down at his phone with wide eyes, sensing that you had something up your sleeve.

                                                              [Babygirl, what are you planning to do?]

Y/n (Daddy's Babygirl)

nothinggggg 👀😏

                                                                             [Don't lie to me now, princess]

Y/n (Daddy's Babygirl)

okay fine, you're no fun >:P. i'm rubbing my clit thru my panties rn. they're

the ones u got for me for my birthday, and they're *soooo* soaked rn 💦💦

i'm all wet and aching and needy bc i miss u, Daddy 🥺

He could feel his eyes getting darker by the second and quickly got up, saying his goodbyes to everyone in the gym before grabbing his gym bag and speed walking through the door. He made his way to the elevator and felt his phone vibrate again, cursing to himself as the doors opened and he leaned against the back wall.

Y/n (Daddy's Babygirl)

fuuck Daddy it feels so good but it doesn't feel the same

i miss your big fingers, Daddy. mine are too small and yours make me

feel the best 😻

                                        [Princess, did I tell you that you could touch yourself?]

Y/n (Daddy's Babygirl)

...no???

                          [Take your fingers away, princess. I didn’t give you permission]

Y/n (Daddy's Babygirl)

...no

                                                                                             [What did you say?]

Y/n (Daddy's Babygirl)

i said no 😈😊

fuck, my pussy is so wet for you, Ro. i’m sliding my fingers thru my folds and they’re so wet for you 😩

i have to text with one hand bc lefty’s busy with my slick hole rn

                                                        [You better stop teasing me like this or else]

Y/n (Daddy's Babygirl)

or else what? you’ll punish me? i already have two fingers in me, about to be three

She’s really testing me today, isn’t she? Roman thought as the elevator doors dinged and opened on his floor. He quickly walked to his room, placing the keycard in the door and swinging it open. Throwing his gym bag somewhere near his suitcase, he walked outside onto the balcony and swiped a hand over his face, imagining you in one of his merch tees with your legs spread and your folds wet and swollen for him.

Y/n (Daddy's Babygirl)

i can’t hit my spot like you do, Daddy. you always finger-fuck me so good

fuck, i feel like i’m gonna cum already from this 😩💦

                                                                                              [Babygirl, I said no]

Y/n (Daddy's Babygirl)

too late, Daddy. i’m pushing in my third finger ;3

it feels so damn good Daddy. i can’t wait until you get back anymore

His eyes got dark and clouded over with lust as he felt his cock grow in his gym shorts. Fuck, what is she doing to me?

Y/n (Daddy's Babygirl)

i’m rubbing my clit with my thumb now. dragging my nail across it too

i’m picturing it as your teeth bc you love to use them when you go down on me 🥺

                                              [I said to fucking stop already. Listen to me, (Y/n)]

Y/n (Daddy's Babygirl)

Hmmmm….how about…no 😋

i’m about to cum Ro. gonna squirt all over my fingers for you 💦

Is she really going to…? No, she wouldn’t disobey me like that, would she?

                               [(Y/n), you better not or else you’ll regret it when I get back]

Y/n (Daddy's Babygirl)

shit, i’m cumming Daddy fuuuuck

His mind is immediately bombarded with the vision of you soaking your bed, your juices flowing from you and staining your sheets. He heads back inside, closing the balcony door before throwing his phone on the bed and sitting down himself.

                                                                 [You done having your fun, princess?]

Y/n (Daddy's Babygirl)

mmhm ^^

i came so hard for you, Ro. you wanna see?

He gets a picture right after, opening it to see your inner thighs glistening with your juices, your hand forming a peace sign as your digits are coated with your cum. Growling deeply, he closes his texts and moves to call you, the phone seeming to ring endlessly in his hand before going straight to voicemail.

“Hello person calling my phone, you’ve unfortunately reached the phone of (Y/n). Someone must’ve pranked you or something, because this is obviously the wrong number. But, if you meant to call this number, I’m clearly busy with something important so if you need me, leave a messa-”

Roman hung up quickly, throwing the device next to him and sighing, flopping onto the sheets and staring at the ceiling defeatedly. The concentrated throbbing of the hard-on in his gym shorts made him angry. You were testing him, teasing him, and he was buying into it big time. The phone buzzed next to him suddenly, making him grab at it and lean his head up.

Y/n (Daddy's Babygirl)

gotta go, Daddy. i’m gonna go take a nap. byeeee 😚💗

                                                                     [You’re really gonna do this to me?]

Y/n (Daddy's Babygirl)

yep ^^. Talk to you soon 😘

                                               ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

For almost a full week now, he’s had to deal with the torture you put him through, showing up to press talks and photoshoots and working out non-stop with a constant hard-on from the things you’ve been sending him. For a full week, the sexts became an almost daily thing as you recounted all of the things you were doing to yourself behind his back: touching yourself constantly in the bed you shared, grinding against his pillows and taking selfies with only his shirts on, sending him pictures of you in your newest dresses.

The “home movies” you sent him were equally as troubling, showing him exactly how well off you were without him there to take care of you and please you by teasing him with the various vibrators and dildos that you had in your chest.

You even had the nerve to call him during a meeting with Stephanie and tell him that you were wearing the vibrating panties he bought you last year for your birthday while you were out with friends, causing him to shoot up in his chair and try to hide his erection.

And for a full week, he’s been pent up with sexual energy, counting down the days and waiting for when he can finally come home to you and punish you for what you’ve been doing to him.

But, they’ve also been dragging on for what seemed like an eternity. So when he pulled up to the arena that Friday night, Roman was more than a little pissed off. You tagged him in a selfie you took on Instagram of you in a fitted black and turquoise lace bodysuit with a black lace collar, posting that you “had a surprise waiting for a special when they finally gets back to you”.

He felt a hot streak of possessiveness run clean through his system when he shut off his phone, and his fingers twitched with the need to let everyone know that you were his as he read through the comments. But he persisted, gripping the steering wheel of his rental tightly before getting out with a plan in mind. Grabbing his bag from the trunk, he pushed the doors open and walked inside with a grimace on his face as he tried to maneuver around the various stage crew and other wrestlers that littered the hallways. 

Roman was so lost in his thoughts that he didn’t seem to acknowledge bumping into one Mustafa Ali and walking straight through the man. He fell back with a yell, rubbing his shoulder as the Samoan continued on his way with his suitcase rolling behind him.

Rising to his feet, Mustafa brushed himself off before chasing after the other man, cupping his hands over his mouth to yell over the countless voices around him. “Hey, Roman! Hold up, man!”

Oh fuck, he groaned internally as Ali pulled up beside him, a smile on his face as he tried to match Roman’s pace. “So, how you been, buddy? It’s been a minute since we last talked, huh?”

Roman grunted, brows furrowed as he ignored him. His phone buzzed in his pocket again - most likely another message from you - and his mind immediately went back to you, thinking about how delicious you looked in that bodysuit.

She’s gonna fuckin’ get it when I get to the locker room, he thought, his hold on the bag’s handle tightening as Mustafa continued to try and speak with him.

“Ok, not much of a talker today. That’s fine. I just wanted to discuss our strategy for our match tonight. You know, for our tag match against Ziggler and Corbin? I was thinking that maybe you come out first and give ‘em the verbal one-two hit before I come out since they don’t know I’m your partner yet, but we could change that if-”

“It’s fine the way it is,” Roman replied, moving some stray hairs from his face before making a left towards the locker room and finding the one with his name on it. Before opening the door, he turned around to see the smaller man looking back at him holding his thumbs up and smiling.

He entered the locker room and shut the door, his mood somewhat lightening as he rolled his bag into the corner. Shoving his hand into his jeans pocket, he pulled out his phone and opened the newest message from you.

Y/n (Daddy's Babygirl)

(photo attached)

bought another one for you, Ro 💜💜

Roman walked over to the bench and sat down, taking his hair out of the messy bun he put it in earlier with his free hand and sighing as he felt the crotch of his jeans grow tight. There you  were, spread out on the couch on your back wearing a lavender keyhole lace teddy with one of your legs bent towards the camera. You were smiling back into it and biting your lip, which made him groan and tug his hair a little as he ran his hand through it.

                                            [You’re really milking this teasing thing, aren’t you?]

Y/n (Daddy’s Babygirl)

Why yes I am. This is why you don’t lie to me, Daddy

                                                         [Oh, you’re gonna fucking get it later, (Y/n)]

Y/n (Daddy’s Babygirl)

Can’t wait for it ^3^

He smirked deviously when he read that, loving how coy and innocent you sounded but knowing how wet you became just from him sending that. He did secretly love this game you were playing with him, riling him up with texts and pictures and videos, but as your Daddy he had to put you in your place. You had to know who was really in charge.

Standing and shoving his phone back into his pocket, he walked back to the door to unlocked it, only to hear the sound of someone suddenly knocking on the other side. He opened it to find a stagehand standing in front of him with a clipboard.

“Um, excuse me, Mr. Reigns?” she started, tapping her fingers nervously on the board, “I know this is kinda sudden and we only have, like, an hour and a half until the show starts, but the big man and some of the other guys upstairs switched around some of the matches on the card for tonight’s show.”

“And? What does that have to do with me?”

“Your tag match was one of the ones moved and, well….it was moved to the beginning of the night. Like, right after Baron’s segment. So, you’ve got to start getting geared up since some of the people in the film crew wanna start shooting some of your pre-show promos in a bit.”

She then turned on her heel and scampered away, reaching in her back pocket for a pen and clicking it to scribble something down.

He sighed, closing the door as he looked up at the clock on the wall and noticed that he only had a few minutes before someone else came knocking. Roman walked over to his suitcase and turned it over on its side to open it as he sighed.

Guess I’ll deal with you later, babygirl.

                                               ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The crowd was roaring in his ears and he was loving all that energy, soaking it up like a sponge as he knew you were tuning in to watch him fight. He loved knowing that you could see the Big Dog in his natural habitat, watching him kick the crap out of anyone he was put in front of and feeling the apex of your thighs tingle from how turned on you were becoming.

Adrenaline pulsed through his veins throughout the entirety of the match, from when he slapped the taste out of Corbin’s mouth before Mustafa made his presence known to when he finally pinned Ziggler after hitting him with a third Spear during the nearly 15 minute long tag match.

Seeing “King” Corbin pull his new lackey from the ring and scamper to the back while holding him by his arms brought a quick smile to his face as he yelled “You can’t handle all this!” and the ref raised their arms in victory.

“I’ll see you around, okay? You were awesome out there!”

“You too, Ali,” Roman said smiling, panting slightly as the duo made their way through the curtain. Promising to check in on him some time later on, the two pounded fists and shared a brief hug before Ali began limping to the back with one of the medical personnel in tow, leaving Roman by himself.

“Now,” he told himself, smile dropping and eyes narrowing as he tore his way through the halls to get to his locker room, “time to take care of business.”

He immediately locked the door when he got inside, ripping his tactical vest off and throwing it into one of the open lockers before going over to his bag and unplugging his phone from the wall next to it.

His chest was shiny with sweat underneath the fluorescents, so he grabbed a towel that one of the stagehands left on the bench inside to wipe himself down. Drying off his hair with one hand, he used the other to unlock his phone and video call you, with you instantly picking up after only two rings.

“Hi, baby! You were so great out there during your match tonight! That was probably one of your best this ye-”

Your voice died down when you saw the look he was giving you: eyes holding yours in a steely gaze, neck vein starting to pop out a bit and a clear glint of mischief running across his entire face, but he disguised it all with a smirk. It sent shivers down your spine to know that secretly, you were the one to do this to him, to get him like this.

“How’s Daddy’s favorite little tease doing?”

“A tease? Me?” you feigned shock, mouth dropping open as you placed your hand on your chest. “Why would I ever have the gall to tease you in any way? I’m a good girl, remember?”

Roman’s face deadpanned and you had to stifle a giggle from bursting. “You know exactly what you’re doing to me, (Y/n). You’re not slick, and your Daddy isn’t a dumbass.”

His eyes flowed down to your chest, and how you were starting to angle the phone to show him more of what you were wearing. He chuckled at your latest attempt to get him riled up but unluckily for you, he was filled to the brim with pent-up energy and was all too ready to take it out on you.

You pursed your lips and blew a kiss to him as you crossed your legs on the bed. What seemed like miles of red mesh ran up your legs to your upper thighs and was held up by a frilly garter belt, leading his eyes up your body as the other two pieces of the red lace lingerie set hid all of your goods from his heated gaze.

“You like it? I bought this little number a while back and I was gonna send you a pic of it as a congratulations gift but since you called me, I figured now was as good of a time as any! So, what do you think?”

He could feel the crotch of his ring pants grow tight as you giggled again and stuck your tongue out, dropping the towel next to him as he ran his hand over the newly formed bulge. “I think,” he started, moving towards the bench and sitting down, “that it’d look much better on the bedroom floor. Speaking of which, take it off.”

“Huh?”

“The bra. As much as I love how it frames your perfect breasts, I want it off. Now.”

Furrowing your brows in confusion, you placed your own phone on your bedside table and angled it against the lamp that stood there before reluctantly reaching around and unsnapping the lacy piece, sighing as the room’s cool air made your nipples perk up. You tossed the discarded garment in the direction of your closet, smiling faintly and awaiting further instruction.

“Now, since you wanted to tease me for over a week with those fucking texts, those videos, those tags on Instagram, now I’m gonna do the same damn thing to you. And this time, you’re gonna fucking take it.”

Oh shit was the only thought that ran through your head as you gulped and felt your fingers twitch.

“So, what I want you to do is take out that cute little toy chest you have under your bed-”

“How do you know about that?!”

“-and take out the dildo you got molded for me. You know the one I’m talkin’ about, right?”

“It was supposed to be a surprise,” you muttered under your breath as you stood up, wondering how in the fuck he found out about it and turning around to bend over suggestively and give your man a show. You could hear the jingling of his belt clasp and heard him suck in a breath, smirking to yourself as you pulled out the black box from underneath your bed frame.

For Roman, he loved the view that he was given, loving how the lace and the garter belt framed your ass as you reached into the box to pull out the silicone toy and show it to him. It was shaped and colored to look exactly like his own cock but before he could say anything, you climbed back onto the bed and sat cross-legged with it in your lap. He could see a slight flush dusting your cheeks and he laughed darkly.

You could see him fully now, his arm with his phone in his hand partially outstretched while his other hand held his half-hard cock as he coaxed himself to full hardness. Looking down at the dildo resting on your legs, a shudder went through your body. Although your new toy will never compare to the original, you’re gonna make damn sure that your money is well spent.

He watched as you let out a shaky breath, moving to lay down on our back at the head of the bed and picking up the dildo. You raised it to your lips and suctioned your lips around the head, getting it nice and wet for him before trailing it down your neck and circling it around your breasts and nipples until they were shiny with your spit.

With wide eyes, you looked back into the camera and asked, “What do you want me to do now, Daddy?”

“Cut the innocent crap, babygirl,” he sneered, making you moan softly. “Trail that thing down your stomach and run it over those pretty panties you bought.”

You answer him with a “Yes, Daddy” before doing as he told you, dragging the dildo down over your stomach and circling your belly button with it before running the head over your pelvis and throwing your head back with a moan.

It felt good running it over your skin like that, almost as good as if Roman was actually there with you and teasing you himself, but you’d never say that to him outright. Raising your hips to meet it, you slid the toy’s shaft in-between your legs and ran it over the thin strip of fabric that kept it away from your lower lips. You could already feel how wet you were becoming, seeing as after a few seconds of this that the dildo was faintly glistening with your juices when you held it up.

“Babygirl, don’t you fucking stop until I tell you to,” he growled over the line, making you jump out of your own little fantasy world. He was angling his phone downwards towards his hard-on, showing you how he’s already leaking cum onto his fingers as he touched himself at your expense. “Keep rubbing that dildo over that wet little pussy of mine.”

You spent the next few minutes running the toy over yourself, grinding it against your clit and moaning but taking it away when you got too close to cumming as to prolong what you had going on. The arch in your back became more prominent as time went on and as sweat began to bead on your own temple, making every moan made and every breath you took much heavier.

He finally told you to stop, seeing how he could spot your juices staining your inner thighs from where your phone stood on the bedside table. “Pull those soaked panties to the side, (Y/n), and fuck yourself with that toy for me. I want you to be fucking dripping and soak that thing so badly that I can see your cum from my end.”

You can audibly hear him stroking his cock now, his pre-cum making it easier for him to pump and twist his thickness. A smile broke out onto your fae but by the look in his eyes, you knew it wouldn’t last as you pulled the red panties to the side with your free hand and rubbed the head of the toy between your lips before sliding it into you slowly.

A heady groan rang out from within you and your eyes snapped open as you began to fuck yourself with it, pressing the silicone balls against your clit to drive you to climax quicker. Moving back into your own little world, you could feel it moving against your inner walls and running against every spot that made you tick.

You threw your head forward with a moan, both of you watching how perfectly all of it fit within you in one go and how quickly you started thrusting it. You raised your hips to meet it with every pass, sighing whenever it filled you to the brim.

You were so lost within this space, your mind so cloudy with arousal, that you almost didn’t hear him call your name.

“Slower, babygirl. I don’t want you cumming yet. You’re not the only one who wants to drag this out.”

So from that point on, he directed your pace and your every movement, telling you to go slower or faster and leaving you hanging on a damn thread every time. Roman laughed heartily when you huffed and puffed out your cheeks, calling you adorable despite being a teasing brat.

“I’m only giving you what you asked for, so don’t blame me for any of this.”

He made you grind down on it every time the dildo went balls deep, making you cry out when he made you take it out right after and pass the sticky head over your clit. You were balancing on nearly nothing at that point, a heavy sheen of sweat now covering your body and seeping into the mesh tights you were wearing until he finally tossed you a bone.

“Now ride it. Ride that fucking toy like you will once I step through your goddamn door. Ride that dildo until you’re screaming my name and letting everyone on your block know who fucking owns you.”

He says this with a snarl, tightening his grip around his shaft and stroking himself quicker as you rose to your knees and moved a pillows between your thighs to suction the dildo onto it. You sunk down on it immediately, your juices making it much easier for you to slide it in and your walls hugging it closely. You grabbed another pillow and moaned loudly into it as you started bouncing, bits of your hair flying around your face and lightning running through your veins.

Your hands started to move in opposite directions; one drifted towards your breast to pluck and pull at your nipple, and the other fell to your pelvis as you began rubbing at your clit with your fingers. Looking at Roman through the phone didn’t do you any better at all, him showing you how hard and thick and ready he was for you.

His chest and forehead were covered in a thin layer of sweat as he stroked himself to a climax throwing his head back with a moan and tugging at his long hair. You could see thick streaks of white fly from the head and splatter his chest and stomach, making you moan as he lowered his head and looked straight back at you. His eyes were cloudy and lost but still dominant and utterly him which made you close your own eyes to keep yourself from reaching that peak.

But despite that, you could still feel it building up in your abdomen as the dildo hit all of your deepest spots and made you cry out to the heavens. Words could no longer spill from your mouth when you felt that twinge of arousal run directly through you and drive you closer and closer to that edge you were seeking. He was finally going to let you cum after what seemed like hours and hours of teasing…

...which is why it shocked you so much when Roman told you to end it.

“Stop.”

“....wait, what?”

“Babygirl, I said stop. Take the dildo out now.”

Even through your daze, you could hear him clearly. His eyes were nearly black, clouded fully with lust as he gripped the phone with one hand and held his softening cock with the other. Isn’t this what he said he wanted? You were so close, why should you stop now?

So you kept at it, grinding the toy down harder as you moved closer to the phone so he could see. You arched your back and pretended not to hear him, lost in your own little world of pleasure and dipping your hand back to your hard bud to rub at it furiously.

“Oh fuck, I’m gonna-”

“(Y/n), I said to fucking stop.”

And stop you did, ceasing all movements and quickly taking your hand away from your clit. The tone he used surprised you as he never really used his dom voice outside of the bedroom, so you knew he was fucking serious.

You moved to grab the phone from its place on the bedside table and whined as you slowly slid off the toy, the crotch of the lace panties a deep marroon as your walls clenched around nothing. Resisting the urge to roll your eyes, you put the dildo next to you and were sure to get it in frame, all shiny and glistening with your juices.

“Now what, Daddy?”

“Pick it back up and clean it off, baby.”

You did so without hesitation, moaning obscenely as you made a show of picking the toy up and running your tongue along its sides. He let out a low moan as he watched you watch him while you licked your juices off of it, swirling your tongue around the fake head like you would’ve if he was laying right there with you.

He hummed, the deep noise sending shivers down your spine as you placed it next to you and held the phone up before resting your head on the pillows behind you.

“All done,” you said coyly, biting your lower lip again as he ran a hand through his hair on the other side of the screen. Always did love when he did that.

Roman told you to put the toy back in the drawer where you found it and to change - both of which you did, dropping the dildo back into your toy chest and swapping out the soaked red panties for a tank top and silk shorts.

That’s future me’s problem, you thought when you noticed the wet spot staining your sheets, wearily moving around it before slipping under your blanket.

“I miss you, Ro. When are you getting back? Like, actually?” you asked, pouting your lips.

“I’ll be home in a week, babygirl,” he told you, out of breath and nearly falling back into the open lockers behind him. “You better not touch yourself until I get back.”

Your eyes went wide and you scrambled to sit up. “Huh? Why not?”

He ignored your question, moving over to his left to grab the towel that laid on the bench. Wiping off his chest again, he said assertively, “Your Daddy’s giving you a command, (Y/n). Follow it, or else I’m gonna put the belt on you for as long as I want.”

You gulped audibly, holding your tongue as your eyes grew wide. After a few seconds, you let out a soft “Ok” and he nodded in approval.

“That’s my girl. Now, be a good girl for me, and I’ll see you when I get home.”

He didn’t even wait for your reply, hanging up the call and shutting off his phone. Roman threw it back into his bag and sighed as his deep brown eyes wandered to the ceiling and he slumped back against the wall next to it.

She’s gonna end up killing me someday, he figured, wiping his hand down his face, but what a hell of a way to go.

                               ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~ Tag List: @writinglionqueen @writing-reigns @i-have-saracasm @yaint-me @alwaysbenhardysgirl @mother-of-goddesses @missmoxy @gold–gucciempress @mistress-to-the-moon @meishaabae @luciddrreamss @neversatisfiedgirl @the-carter-mob-don @dreamlesswonder86 @shazambitches @drewmcintyreinarefereeoutfit @baronsbelleevangelineon @tacoshu @ladytea19 @candicelerae @sassymox @bambixbliss @lookalivesunshine-x @liamakorn @baddie-bismuth @deepdisireslonging @flawlessglamazon @thegoblin-maiden @justsimplevicky @taryn-dibiase @caramara3 @hardcorewwetrash @shieldgirl18 @speckylynch @thirst-n-bullshit @wrestlersownmyheart @wrestlingfae @wrestlingbabe @theskullgoddess @nerdlife0612 @axelwolf8109 @hardcoresweet45 @culturalrebel @andie01 @sassyspacedust @neversatisfiedgirlfics @nicolewoo @unprettypeony @lilmisscrisis @itsicantbelievethis666 @thatpanpal @nightgirl250 @theworldofotps @jeffhardyenigmawwefan @xfirespritex @aspiringhorrorfilmmaker​ @haharollins @calwitch @officialbroski10-blog​ @thatnerdwriter @youcantreignonmyparade @demonslunacy @scuzmunkie @ms-novel ~~

Send me an ask/PM if you want to be added to my tag list! :D

[roleplay-salt]

About; Rules; FAQ

Welcome to Roleplay Salt! This is a blog for roleplayers to vent & rant anonymously about the things that peeve or hurt them in the roleplaying community.

GENERAL

Your submission will always be posted anonymously; no exceptions. (This includes positivity submissions & shoutouts.)

Your submission’s text will be placed in a graphic and then copied as plain text as its caption for accessibility purposes.

Topics must be roleplay-related. (This can, of course, include experiences with partners doing things that may be unrelated to roleplay, but would still be considered relevant if it impacts your roleplaying experience with that particular partner.)

Anyone following our blog will be allowed to leave replies on submissions, whether in agreement or disagreement, and everyone is allowed (even encouraged) to reblog submissions, with or without their own commentary. However, we will delete any spamming comments, including ones that are or are similar to “Why don’t you come off anon and say that?” Such comments provide nothing to the discussion. In fact, they usually shut down discussion and it completely disregards the entire point of this blog’s existence. No one has to “come off anon” nor are they “cowards” for seeking safety behind anonymity. Your aggressiveness with that sentiment only reinforces the reason why they want to be anonymous in the first place. ADDENDUM: We will delete salt replies that involve simply telling others to, essentially, “shut up and move on already” and “stop sending salt replies in about this”. You’re more than allowed to say this things in the comments, but we will no longer be making them a part of any future debates.

We actively edit and restructure the wording of submissions. We read every single one of your submissions and we care about consistency and readability. We will correct any spelling errors, grammar errors, and odd sentencing structure, and we will often lengthen abbreviations and slang, and we will fill out any curse words or sensitive terms that were originally 'censored' in the submissions. Do not take it personally! Again, we aim for consistency. We will never just copy/paste your submission and then post it. That's terrible.  

T Y P E S    O F    S A L T

Vents & Rants

Complaints

Negative Confessions

Callouts

T Y P E S    O F    S U G A R

Advice & Suggestions

Critique

Positive Confessions

Shoutouts

T Y P E S    O F    F L O U R

The “Flour” category is reserved for any submissions that do not appropriately fit under “Salt” or “Sugar”, often involving personal confessions and storytelling.

C A L L O U T S    &    S H O U T O U T S

A callout submission is specifically speaking nastily and meanly about someone else, regardless if it’s the truth or not.  All URLs & names in a callout submission will be marked out to preserve the other party’s anonymity as well.  We are a safe place for you to release your anger, frustration and hurt, even if it’s towards someone and not something. But we cannot and will not participate in the true nature of a callout. That will need to be something that you do for yourself if you believe that it’s important for you, your friends and your fandom community.

A shoutout submission is specifically speaking kindly and positively about someone else.

All URLs & names in a shoutout submission will remain visible, and the person will be tagged & mentioned on the post so as to better the odds of them seeing it.

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS

“Who are the moderators?”

Currently, there is only one operating the blog: Moderator Bull.

“Am I allowed to know your roleplay/personal blogs?”

Unfortunately, no. To preserve our own anonymity (for many of the same reasons as the submitters), we have agreed on the terms to never give out our URLs if requested. If we are interested in your blog, then we will follow you at our own discretion!

“Will you remove a submission for me?”

That depends on the type of submission, what it is about, and what your reasoning for wanting it removed is. The whole point of anonymity is that nothing gets tied back to you. The only cases where we will greatly consider removing a submission is if it’s involving a shoutout about you and you don’t want to be affiliated with us. 

“Will you remove my comments on a submission?”

Of course! However, we will not remove any corresponding responses to you (except in instances where, if yours is removed, the next comment is made to look like it’s being directed to the person prior to your comment. We don’t want to cause unnecessary conflict.) We will also not be relied upon to keep deleting comments you regret leaving behind. If you’re wanting to leave a public response on submissions, then you must be prepared to have others possibly publicly disagree with you.

“Can I ask you for roleplay advice?”

Go right ahead! But we can’t promise the best or most insightful of answers, or that we’ll get to them relatively soon! Chances are, we will post your questions anonymously so that others in the community can help.

“Why did you follow my blog?”

To make our existence known to you and, if you like us, hoping that you will send in a submission of your own or tell your roleplay partners about us!

“How did you find my blog?”

Most likely through the Recommended sidebar feature, a mutual, or just the good ol’ search function.  

“Could you unfollow me?”

If you don’t want to be associated with us, then we recommend blocking the blog so that we don’t unintentionally follow you again!

“Hey, could you do something about the people leaving rude, mean responses on the submissions?”

Unless they are throwing bigoted slurs, threats, or suicide-baiting remarks at the anonymous submitter, they are not doing anything wrong. They have just as much right to disagree with your submission as you had when you sent it to us. We are, first and foremost, a place to vent frustrations or hurts behind the safety of anonymity, and we are also a free-speech blog. We are of the belief that discussions, no matter how heated, is healthy and brings the community together as a whole. Just as your submission may provide someone else with the awareness that they are not alone in similar frustrations, someone disagreeing with your submission may provide a new perspective to you and others that had not been considered before.

“How does name-calling and swearing and being mean add to a discussion? You and your blog are what are wrong with the roleplaying community!”

Just because someone isn’t being nice to you as they give their side of the argument, doesn’t mean that it cancels out their actual argument. You’re choosing to be offended and distracted by how abrasive they are, and that’s no one’s problem to deal with but your own. You have the ability to block anyone so that you no longer have to see their comments on future submissions. Why would we police what people say, the endgame of which would be to ban them from ever reblogging or commenting on submissions again if they don’t listen to us, if you’re not even willing to try solving the problem first by just blocking them? Wanting to have the last word or being upset that your submission didn’t receive the feedback you wanted is not a reason for us to step in and step on someone else’s right to speak, rudely or otherwise. If you’re not going to block them, then why should we?

“Could you not post submissions on sensitive topics like noncon, incest, and pedophilia?”

We have started tagging posts that we believe might be sensitive and controversial in nature with the tag “#twcontroversy”. We recommend blacklisting this tag. If that is still not enough, then we recommend unfollowing/blocking us. These are topics just as relevant in the roleplaying community as anything else.

“Could you promote me?”

Certainly! But only if you are another community-involved blog (a blog that provides a ‘service’ to the community, such as advice, roleplay help, a place for confessions, etc.), and it must be relevant to the roleplaying community to some degree! If you want to promote a roleplay blog, then we suggest sending in a shoutout submission!

“I sent a confession in weeks ago. Where is it? How long will it take for it to get posted?”

It’s either sitting in the queue or sitting in our drafts, waiting to be queued. We have 1,200+ followers so far, and on average we’re sent 15+ submissions a night. We only post between 5 to 8 submissions at night. Your submission is on a wait list. That’s all we can tell you.

“Why don’t you just close your submission box until all the current confessions are posted?”

Because we’re a vent blog first and foremost. If we close our ask/submission boxes, then we’re no longer an option for people who might desperately need to vent or talk about something that could have happened to them that day but have no other options. We want to be a healthy alternative to just bottling it up or possibly lashing out at the wrong people.

“I don’t believe you! I think you deleted my submission because one of you didn’t like it! You’re not unbiased at all!”

We’ve posted submissions about highly controversial roleplay topics like noncon, racism, transphobia, and pedophilia. We reassure you that your salt submission about OCs, theme trends, blog selectivity, etc. is not on that same level, least of all to the point that one of us would delete it. The only submissions that we have deleted, so far, are the ones that have included racial and homophobic slurs.

“[insert OP/commenter] is obviously a rapist/pedophilie!”

If we find that you have accused someone of being a rapist, pedophile, or apologist of either because of their defensive views on noncon/pedophilic ships or roleplay, your comment will be removed and you will be blocked. These are serious accusations that you shouldn’t be throwing at people over fictional content and we refuse to to let you use this blog as a platform to spew such slanderous accusations.

[hugs-and-stabbies]

What’s your hc for Jayers? As in the types of personality Jake and Michael have?

(im putting this in a read more because I didnt think I would write so much lol)

I think there’s a big difference between how I actually see Jayers in my head, and how i choose to draw them lol they bleed into each other a lot tho

I draw a bunch of fluff because that’s what I personally enjoy most. The way I see them in my head is a lot more angsty :p

When i’m drawing for this blog this is kinda how i think of them

Michael:

Personality: stubborn. Doesn’t like strong emotions he’s not used to. Capable of great empathy (close to no compassion though).

Other HCs:

After having spent so much time being close to Jake he has learned to occasionally feel something comparable to compassion towards him. (this is one of the main differences of how I draw him and how I really actually see him)

Like a lot of other ppl hc him, I dont believe he can love someone in the way that normal people are able to love.

Michael certainly cares very deeply about Jake, but his feelings towards him are more akin to obsession (but they are not strictly obsession). It’s not like he only sees him as his property, though.

I do believe he feels some sort of fondness towards Jake and their relationship is founded on some sense of mutual respect.

Despite that sense respect though, he may still turn against Jake and mercilessly hurt/kill him when Michael is annoyed or overwhelmed (either positively or negatively) by him.

Michael’s mind is very complicated wtf. I struggled a lot writing this part and not sounding like I was contradicting myself with every bullet point lmao

Jake:

Personality: Knows his worth. Has learned to follow his gut feeling. Doesn’t like being around people for too long.

Other HCs:

Doesn’t verbally communicate his deep feelings unless they become overwhelming. What he wants is always very clear in his head. An exception for this are his feelings for Michael, which are v confusing.

Jake knows that he’s generally safe with Michael and that he will protect him from a lot of things, but he also knows not to push certain things (he learned the hard way).

I don��t think Jake has romantically loved anyone in a looooong time, and while he knows his relationship with michael will never be anything close to normal, he acknowledges that his heart feels some sort of way when it comes to him, and deep down he welcomes the feeling.

Jake is a very individualistic and doesn’t like when Michael gets too possessive. He protests against it sometimes (which Michael does not like)

Michael being the silent type has helped in how they get along. Jake doesn’t feel like Michael has the same expectations from him that others would.

I might add/remove from this as I think of more :0

[mummybear]

Get To Know Me Game

I was tagged by @princessmisery666 - Thank you for the tag lovely :) P.s sorry if my tags aren’t working tumblr is being a doof.....

Rule is to tag 21 people you wanna get to know better.

Nickname: Okay so we have..... Bun, Chel, Chels, Chelsea Bun, Smelsey - Courtesy of my delightful sister oh and of course - Cock womble - courtesy of @deanwanddamons Thank you for that one Sian :P

Real name: Chelsea

Zodiac: Leo :)

Favourite musicians or bands: So basically if i were to put them all i would be here forever.... so I’ll just stick to a few.... Ed Sheeran, Fall Out Boy, Demi Lovato, Michael Jackson, Pink, Rihanna, Blue, Carrie Underwood, Usher, Christina Aguilera, Little Mix, Maroon 5, Shawn Mendes, Tori Kelly, Adele, Ne-yo, Jason Derulo, Evanescence, Eminem, McFly, Lonely Island, Anastacia, Shania Twain, Kelly Clarkson.... As i said i could go on hahaha 

Favorite sports team: Don’t really do sports full stop honestly i cannot stand them in anyway shape or form

Other blogs: Just this one!

Do I get asks: From a couple of mutuals, but other than that no. 

How many blogs do I follow: Not as many as i used to.... 180 something i think

Tumblr crushes: Now this is gonna be another long one..... @holyhellpit @dylanholyhellobrien My girl Michelle we clicked so many years ago now and i love you still to this day one of my favourite people. @deanwanddamons My girl we haven’t been talking that long but we became good friends really fast and i love you loads! :P @negans-lucille-tblr So happy we started talking! Even if it hasn’t been for too long, we got on straight away and i love it! i did totally fan girl as well! haha :P you’re awesome though babe and now the conversations Sian you and I have are down right legendary. @lettersofwrittencollective @stiles-o-dylan24 @nicole-lynne @mrs-mitch-rapp93 Talking to you girls is always amazing! and you’ve always been there for me with all of our Dylan and Dean chat! :) Nat, Ellie, Nicole, and of course Val, love you little stunners so much!! @22sarah08 You are so freaking sweet and i couldn’t not mention you my lovely! Always checking in on me and worrying about me! Love to you as well!! Last but certainly not least @screamxqueenx94 Brooklyn! I love you! You’re so strong and amazing! And every single one of you are incredibly talented and i feel proud to be able to call you my friends i am a little in pain right now so I apologise if most of this makes no sense ;)

Lucky numbers: 3

What am I wearing: Fluffy Socks, My Dean Winchester is my hero plaid pj bottoms and supernatural top ..... yes sorry guys i am really that obsessed haha

Dream vacation: Anywhere really..... maybe Canada family connections and all

Dream car: Not sure my dream car would be any good for my kids but gotta be boring and say a lambo or a Ferrari 

Favorite food: Pizza, chocolate and crisps and fruit if i could eat it lol

Drink of choice: Pepsi max cherry or Dr Pepper

Instruments: I play none lol

Languages: English.

Celebrity crushes: Jesus hahaha am i ever gonna post this here we go then.... Jensen Ackles, Dylan O’brien, Ian Somerhalder, Ryan Reynolds, Emeraude Toubia, Claire Holt, Anna Kendrick, Adam Levine, Mila Kunis, Chris Hemsworth, Zac Effron mainly in hairspray haha imma stop now :P 

Random facts: I just had my thyroid removed so that was fun.... and i have two little kiddies who i’m mad about. And I am obsessed with Wispa gold (the chocolate lol)

(Sorry i know some of you ladies may have done already) My tags: @deanwanddamons @dylanholyhellobrien @negans-lucille-tblr @lettersofwrittencollective @holyhellpit @stiles-o-dylan24 @22sarah08 @littlegreenplasticsoldier @nicole-lynne @holylulusworld @kittenofdoomage @impala-dreamer @beka-dreamer @there-must-be-a-lock @thoughtslikeaminefield @mrswhozeewhatsis @mrs-mitch-rapp93 @mrscutiefandobhaz @writingsbychlo @emichelle @rockhoochie 

[metaphorical-love-for-a-car]

Losing It All-- Gwilym Lee x Reader

Prompt; none this time! twas all concocted in my mind :P

Warnings; angst, miscarriage, specified Fem! Reader

Word Count; 1.6k

Notes; came up with this because of the topics my bio prof was discussing in class one day lol so here have this shitty fic

Read it on AO3

You don't exactly remember when you first met Gwilym. The two of you had different stories. He claims that he bumped into you while in a store, thought you were the most beautiful woman he had ever seen, then asked you for your number. You, on the other hand, are almost 100% positive that the two of you met while at a mutual friend's party. Then again, he was pretty drunk. There's a chance he just didn't remember. Anyways, it was true that he asked for your number in a supermarket. The two of you talked pretty much every day for about a week. Gwilym then gathered up the courage to ask you out. The rest is history.

The two of you had been dating for about three years when he decided to propose. If there was one thing you knew for sure about Gwilym, it's that he couldn't keep a secret to save the life of him. He would always leave paper copies of receipts or notes on random scraps of paper lying around. You would just play along as if you weren't suspecting a thing. In the end, he did surprise you. It was your anniversary, and he took you out to a fancy dinner. Throughout the whole evening, you kept waiting for him to pull a little box out of his pocket or pull the "what's that in your champagne" cliche, but it never happened. As the two of you left the restaurant, you were slightly disappointed and wondered if you had misinterpreted all the signs. Gwilym made some remark about how he just remembered that you were out of milk. He claimed that it would be more efficient and time-saving if the two of you stopped by the store on your way home... then proceeded to drive in the complete opposite direction of your shared home. You told him that if you went inside then the two of you would be walking out with at least two different kinds of cookie dough, but he dragged you inside with him anyways. After you spent about five minutes debating on what kind of cookie dough you wanted (and ultimately got both kinds), you turned around to find Gwilym down on one knee. He was proposing to you... in the middle of the supermarket. But not just any supermarket! It was the very one where he first asked you for your number. Mr. Gwilym Lee, ever the romantic.

Of course, you said yes. I mean, who wouldn't?

Being married to an actor was interesting, to say the least. There were times where it was tough, with him being away for so long because of filming. No matter what, Gwilym would always find time to talk to you. FaceTime? Skype? He did it all. He missed you as much as you missed him, if not even more. Gwilym was beyond ecstatic when he found out that he got the role of Brian May in Bohemian Rhapsody. The best part? They would be filming near London, meaning that he would be close to home and able to visit more often. His visits were often at random times, depending on the filming schedule. When he was able to visit... well, let's just say that you made him wish he could stay longer.

The two of you had been wanting to start a family for a while, but you were having trouble getting pregnant. You started taking fertility medications in hopes that, maybe, you could have a little one of your own running around. Looking back, you wish that you would've seen the signs long before it got to the point of no return.

There was some spotting, but you just waved it off as a hormonal imbalance. No big deal.

Then there was a couple of times where you would randomly have a sharp pain in your lower abdomen. Again, you waved it off. It was probably nothing to get worried about.

Then the dam broke, and everything went to hell. Your stomach was killing you. The pain was so intense that you could hardly move, but if you did, then a wave of nausea would wash over your body. You were laying on the floor of the bathroom, trembling. Every time you sat up, you would gag before leaning over the toilet to hack up what you could only assume was stomach acid, as you had eaten nothing all morning. You forced yourself up and stumbled into your bedroom. You pulled your phone off of its charger then crumbled to the floor. You choked back a sob as you dialed for emergency services.

Gwilym was off filming in Surbiton, which was not too terribly far from home. They were filming a scene with one of Freddie Mercury's famous parties. As soon as the cameras were off, he was goofing around with the rest of the cast. Someone shouted his name and held up his cellphone. They told him that there were multiple missed calls from you, and it had been ringing nonstop. The other three boys cracked jokes about how you were probably bored, as you had called him many times whining about that in the past couple of weeks. Gwilym rolled his eyes and thanked the person who handed him his phone. His face hardened when he saw that he had dozens of missed calls and texts. Pressing the phone to his ear, he chewed on his bottom lip. The rest of the cast shifted uncomfortably in their seats, watching Gwilym with worried eyes.

By the time the first responders had arrived, you were passed out. They loaded you into an ambulance and took you to the nearest hospital, where they woke you up with smelling salts. They asked you all the routine questions, and you grumbled out answers between gritted teeth. When you told them that yes, there was a chance you were pregnant and yes, you had been taking fertility medications, the doctors seemed concerned and ordered multiple tests. While you were receiving an ultrasound for the doctors to assess the condition of your uterus and fallopian tubes, your phone started ringing. You saw the name flash across the screen and had one of the nurses answer it.

Gwilym's face paled. "Ectopic pregnancy? What does that mean?"

"When an egg is fertilized, it is supposed to move out of the fallopian tubes and attach itself to the uterus. In ectopic pregnancies, the egg remains in the tube. In your wife's case, the fallopian tubes ruptured and caused internal bleeding."

He stood abruptly and began pacing back and forth. Everyone nearby muttered their concerns. His breath came out shaky, and his lip was starting to bleed from him chewing on it. He thanked the nurse before shoving his phone into his pocket. "I've got to go. Now." Gwilym started to storm out, and everyone threw questions at his back as he ran off. He didn't even bother to stop and take off the wig.

By the time he arrived, you were already in surgery. Gwilym couldn't stay still. Whether he was bouncing his leg or pacing up and down the hall, he was constantly moving. He hated himself for not being around. He hated that he wasn't there for you when you needed him most. Less than an hour passed, and they were wheeling you into recovery. Relief flooded Gwilym's system when the doctors told him that the surgery went smoothly. They explained to him what to expect in the following days and that you should be back on your feet in no time.

Gwilym sat next to your bed, holding your hand. He perked up when you started to stir. You blinked slowly before narrowing your eyes. You pulled your hand away from him. "I'm married," you slurred, clearly still having some anesthesia in your system. When you turned your head away from him, Gwilym couldn't help but laugh. He gently cupped your face, turning you back to look at him.

"It's me, love." A smile crept across your lips.

"Oh, hey, Gwil. You changed hairstyles." Gwilym laughed again, rubbing his eyes to keep himself from crying. He was finally able to relax a bit. You started to laugh along with him but winced, placing a hand over your stomach. Gwilym placed a kiss on your forehead before leaving the room to tell a nurse that you had woken up. They gave you some medicine and told you that the doctor would come by for a final evaluation. When he finally came by, he explained that they had to remove one of your fallopian tubes due to it rupturing and how you needed to be careful in the following weeks while recovering from the surgery.

"So what about... having kids?" Your voice was small, and you figured you already knew the answer.

"It's not impossible to get pregnant, but your chances of having another ectopic pregnancy are very high." You nodded, lip slightly quivering. The doctor ducked out of the room, and tears began to fall.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Gwil." Gwilym wrapped you in his arms.

"Sorry for what? Love, you have absolutely nothing to be sorry for."

"But I... I know how much you wanted kids, and I can't... I can't.." You trailed off. It tore his heart into a million pieces to see you so upset.

"We'll figure it out later, alright? All that matters is that you're okay."

[holdyourbreathuntilyouseelight]

The Bodyguard - Chapter 4

Summary: Magnus is a dancing popstar sensation whose popularity continues to climb. Alec, an ex-Secret Service agent, is hired on as a professional bodyguard in charge of Mr. Bane’s personal security by insistence of Magnus’ manager. Despite their initial differences, Magnus finds himself falling for Alec the more time they spend getting to know each other and relies on him for more than physical security as his safety gets threatened. Loosely based on the 1992 film The Bodyguard.

Rating: M

Genre: AU, Everyone is Human AU, Celebrity!Magnus, Bodyguard!Alec, Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Fluff, Friendship, Romance, Eventual Smut, Mutual Pining

Author: holdyourbreathuntilyouseelight

A/N: I made up the instagram users so apologies if they belong to anyone! If you wish for me to remove any, please let me know. Otherwise - thanks so much for reading!!

Click here to read on AO3.

Previous chapters on tumblr: Prologue // Chapter 1 // Chapter 2 // Chapter 3

Alec flipped through various articles as Magnus was quiet next to him. It wasn't entirely unusual during their flights but he often chatted with various members of the team about whatever he had on his mind, asked questions about their lives, or got them pumped about the next city stop.

It was his head lolling to Alec's shoulder, almost startling him, that made him realize his silence was due to Magnus being asleep.

He couldn't help himself from inhaling the sandalwood smell now that Magnus was so close to him. It was nice. Calming.

Alec continued his searching, trying to find someone who might make sense as Magnus' stalker. Someone who commented on every article or post or said things that implied they weren't stable. The police hadn't been much help from the Chicago venue, and the list Raphael and Magnus provided hadn't had any glaringly obvious suspects, so he was trying to take things into his own hands the only way he knew how–Internet creeping.

Unfortunately, there were a lot of 'thirsty' comments across the internet so it was tough to narrow it down.

Where the stalker clearly knew where Magnus lived, and had a lot of intimate photos that suggested they had learned his routine, he wondered if it was someone who knew him personally. Maybe even before the fame, so that now that they felt he owed them more than he did others. More attention, more gratitude, it was hard to tell.

Alec stopped on an article about 'Banecourt'. Seeing Magnus posed with Camille hanging off his arm made his stomach twist. His only experience with her was not a positive one, and he knew that wasn't going to change if he spent more time with her.

Even looking at those photos, he could see a tightness in Magnus' eyes that wasn't something he saw these days. The photos were dated months prior to their 'devastating' break-up. The biggest war between fans about Magnus was those who shipped the couple and those who didn't – the latter arguing that Magnus was clearly happier without her, and Alec was inclined to agree.

Did that mean Camille had stalker tendencies? She clearly wasn't a stable, sane individual, but that didn't necessarily translate to becoming Magnus' personal stalker. She was there that night, at the venue the message was left at. She knew where his dressing room was. Was it possible she snuck back in somehow, past security, and planted the message while Magnus was on stage?

If not her, maybe another scorned lover? Or wanna-be-lover?

Magnus stirred in his sleep, and Alec flipped articles to his win on the talent show.

"Mm, we there yet?"

Alec looked out of the window. "I'm still seeing only clouds, so I'd say we're still in the air."

"Smart ass." Magnus grumbled, but he left his eyes closed and snuggled into Alec's shoulder further. Alec automatically adjusted himself and swept an arm around Magnus' waist to hold him more comfortably, grateful they hadn't put the armrest down between them earlier.

Magnus must have been exhausted; he normally wasn't this touchy-feely with Alec. And Alec didn't know when they got to a point that they were comfortable enough with each other to sit like this, especially without bickering, but he supposed Magnus not talking much was a good help.

"Shouldn't be much longer. The plane map says just over half an hour."

"Good." Magnus replied, breath fanning against Alec's neck as he settled closer against his side.

Alec couldn't help but think of his phone call with Izzy earlier, when she asked if anything was going on. He could certainly say this was new territory for him. Obama certainly had never cuddled up to him during a plane ride.

But it didn't have to mean anything. After all, Magnus was a celebrity, not the president of the United States. The professional line was much less strict. And he and Magnus sharing a hotel room had certainly sped up their relationship some. He didn't aggravate him as much as he once did, and Magnus listened to him more than he used to. That may have been aided by the stalker scare, but Alec still took it as a win.

He was touched when Magnus genuinely confessed on Ellen to trusting Alec with his life. He had hoped he was making the star feel safer but hearing the words from his usually stubborn mouth was still satisfying.

Still, trusting Alec to essentially do his job did not translate to wanting to date him, despite what Izzy thought. And Ellen had basically asked him about having feelings for Alec and he denied them, but that wasn't much to go on either, as he doubted even Magnus would use a public setting to broadcast feelings he had yet to share with the person they were for.

Alec didn't know why he was stressing over this. He didn't have feelings for Magnus. He was just growing to like him as a… friend of sorts.

Yeah. That was all.

He pointedly ignored the swoop in his stomach when Magnus snuggled even closer in his sleep.

"You're not going to put her in a headlock if she tries to hug me, are you?" Magnus asked with a raised eyebrow.

Alec shot him an unimpressed look. "No, obviously."

"I wouldn't claim it as obvious – you have put your hands up to stop more than one fan from getting too close, no matter their age." Magnus reminded him.

Alec scoffed. "Forgive me for fearing for your safety when some stranger runs at you at full speed, reaching their hands into their pocket or coat. My mind is trained to assume the worst."

Magnus rolled his eyes. "Well you can tell your mind to chill out. Raphael said the winner of the contest is young, around nine or ten, and she is a foster kid. I highly doubt a child, even in foster care, knows how to operate a gun or will pull a knife on me."

Alec put his hands up in mock surrender. "I'll keep my hands to myself."

Magnus typically was pretty involved with his fans, regularly hosting meet and greets, reaching out via social media, and, of course, holding contests. Most of his contests involved actually getting to meet him, whether it be VIP tickets to a show where he'd meet them backstage or pull them up during a song, or, like this one, they'd win a recreational day with him.

Magnus, as always, was thrilled to get a chance for one-on-one time with a fan, especially someone younger. It typically was teens or older who won these things, despite always being open to all ages.

"Magnus? Alec? Madzie just arrived." Luke told the pair, sticking his head into the room.

Magnus clapped his hands together excitedly before heading to the main room they had rented in the hotel to host the young girl.

A small, dark-skinned girl was standing shyly next to Dot, one of Magnus' back-up dancers. She was the one who had accompanied her in the limo as she also was part of the facilitators for the contests. Raphael wasn't much into running those types of contests, so she did the most of the work, including meeting up with them to bring them to Magnus.

"Here's Magnus!" Dot said excitedly, looking down at Madzie.

Madzie's little face broke into a big grin but she stepped behind Dot's leg a little to shield herself from his gaze.

Magnus' feigned offense, putting his hand on his chest. "Madzie! You don't have to be afraid of me. I've been counting down the days until I get to meet you. Are you ready for a fun day together?"

He crouched down several feet away, opening his arms, but leaving it entirely up to her to close the distance between them.

She only hesitated for a moment before running into his arms for a tight hug.

"Hi, sweet pea! Thank you so much for coming to see me today." Magnus told her as he let her go.

She was smiling brightly at him now.

"So! I have a few fun things planned for our day, but you let me know if there is anything you want to do, and I will do my best to make it happen."

He took her hand and led her out of the room, Alec following closely behind.

"Don't mind him. He's my bodyguard. He wants to make sure you and I both stay safe so he's going to hang out with us today too."

Madzie nodded and flashed a little smile over her shoulder. Alec smiled back easily.

They got into the hotel elevator and Magnus pressed the P button.

"Do you know where we're going? The P in this elevator does not mean Penthouse." Magnus leaned down to whisper. "I heard you like to swim."

Madzie's face lit up immediately, even if she hadn't said much yet, and Alec found himself smiling in the corner as they passed through the floors to their destination.

Magnus, thankfully, could hold a conversation all his own. He went on about all the places he wanted to swim someday, even fictional places, and Madzie giggled along and watched him like he hung the stars in the sky.

Alec could admit it was a little endearing to see Magnus so charming with children. He supposed he should have known, since he was charming with all people Alec had seen him interact with.

"So I have Dot bringing us down something special to wear, but this whole place is ours for the next couple hours!"

Madzie's eyes went huge as she looked around the large indoor pool, complete with a couple water slides and plenty of toys in the baskets along the wall.

Dot came in to the room a moment later, grinning widely at the pair. "So Madzie, I brought something for both you and Magnus to match if you're up for it. A swim suit, of course, but also… these!"

Madzie actually squealed this time, and Alec found his face breaking into a grin like the others. She was pretty adorable. This day would be more enjoyable than Alec had initially anticipated. He was expecting some spoiled child that would demand all of Magnus' attention and take advantage of the star. He was glad to be proven very wrong.

"Let's go get dressed and get this pool party started!" Magnus said, snatching the larger of the two mermaid tails from Dot's hands and bounding off to the change rooms.

Alec followed dutifully as Dot led Madzie to the girl's room.

"She is so precious." Magnus said, as he whipped his clothes off behind the curtain and pulled on swim trunks.

"She is." Alec agreed.

"I know you've noticed. I could tell even she melts your icy, Secret Service agent heart." Magnus teased.

"My heart is not icy. I just am focused on my work." Alec retorted. "Plus, I like kids."

"You do?"

"Yes. I grew up taking care of younger siblings, including my baby brother, who is ten years younger than me. And holidays at boarding school, I was always the oldest, so kind of the surrogate big brother."

Alec corrected his throat, realizing he was oversharing, but Magnus chose that moment to step out. Then his mind had to focus on not staring at Magnus' exposed upper body.

He had seen him shirtless plenty of times before. At his house, dancing on stage. A few of his numbers during his concerts involving no shirt or barely one, but being this close to him and in private made his head spin a bit.

"Izzy seems to think you're a good big brother. She wasn't shy about sharing how amazing she thinks you are, and I only talked to her for a few minutes."

Alec shifted his weight between his feet, looking away now.

Maybe recognizing his discomfort, Magnus changed the subject. "Time to swim!" He skipped past him and returned to his guest of honour.

Alec followed, reminding himself to be less awkward, and the pool party began.

It ended up being a pretty fun day, for all involved.

The swimming lasted a good couple hours, and Madzie started coming out of her shell more. She was giggling constantly, flipping her mermaid fin alongside Magnus' and having fun splashing and playing with the various toys. Magnus dragged her next to him through the water so she sped through it like a true ocean-dweller.

She even smiled up at Alec plenty, seeming to enjoy his and Magnus' banter back and forth, and preened under the compliment when Alec told him he liked her fins. She wagged her tail at him excitedly, and Magnus knew the mermaid tails were a good idea.

After swimming, it was time for eating lunch. Magnus had a whole kid-friendly buffet prepared and watched with glee as Madzie had fun picking different things to try and sample before loading her plate.

Following that, Magnus had rented out a private bakery kitchen and they worked on decorating pre-made cookies and cupcakes. Magnus insisted on Alec joining them, especially after seeing how much Madzie had warmed up to him in their short time together. Alec, apparently a sucker for her big brown eyes, agreed after she looked up at him hopefully.

Magnus' competitiveness came out as soon as they got down to business.

"I like lots of colours." Magnus was saying as he dolloped a blob of icing in spots on the cupcake he was working on while Madzie squirted wiggly lines on her cookie.

He opened his mouth to ask Alec if he wished there was a black coloured icing when he saw what Alec was working on.

"WHAT is THAT?!" Magnus exclaimed.

Alec startled at the attention, looking down at the cookie he was decorating as if searching for something he was missing.

"What do you mean?"

"That!" Magnus said, flailing a hand at it. "What, do you secretly run a bakery as a side job? Or go to Decorators Anonymous?!"

Alec laughed when he realized he was, in a back-handed way, complimenting his decorating skills.

"That last one doesn't even make sense, but is it really amazing or is it just because you can't even best a ten year old?"

Madzie seemed to love watching the two of them bicker, smiling to herself as she worked quietly, sporadically peeking up to watch the pair.

Magnus did not shy down from biting back a retort, accenting it with a flick of his wrist, but he unfortunately had the icing bag still in his hand and a spurt of it hit Alec's forearm.

Alec chewed his tongue for a moment, raising his eyebrows in challenge at Magnus.

"I… I swear I didn't mean to do that…" Magnus began, covering his mouth to hide a laugh.

"Oh? Is that right? I can see the deep-seated remorse in your eyes." Alec said, stepping slowly down the length of the counter, eyes locked on Magnus'.

Alec glanced towards Madzie, and his face twisted into a grin.

"Let's get him, Madzie!"

And with that, he grabbed a fistful of sprinkles from a bowl and threw it at Magnus. Madzie squealed and ducked behind Alec's giant form as Magnus shrieked and squeezed hard on the icing bag to send more in his opponent's direction.

And so began an epic food fight.

The clean up wasn't fun, but Alec told Magnus they had to do at least some of it so Madzie could see that actions have consequences. Magnus reminded him that Madzie was spending a day with her celebrity idol and wasn't there to learn life lessons but he felt too guilty leaving it all for someone else so he agreed in the end.

Magnus had a clean-up crew come in after them, shooting them a sheepish smile as he ushered the small girl out of the room, and Alec followed amusedly.

Next up was watching a movie in a recreational room the hotel had for rent – it was gigantic, a TV almost half as wide as the wall and nearly as tall. They had more snacks set up – bowls of candy, buttered popcorn and Shirley Temples.

Magnus, of course, proposed making a blanket fort with the provided puffy blankets and collection of pillows.

Once settled, with Moana playing on the big screen, Madzie sat between Alec's legs as he twisted parts of her hair into cute pigtail braids. He admitted his time with the Obama girls, when they were younger, involved requests like this during the more boring days at the White House, so he had some experience with her type of hair.

Once he had her feeling pretty, she scooted down to lay on her stomach to watch the screen intently. Alec and Magnus, laying outstretched against the couch, tossed popcorn back and forth at each other when the other wasn't looking. They kept trying to best the other by having the projectile land somewhere inconspicuous, like in the space behind Magnus' collar or the gaping pocket of Alec's pants.

The pair of them were downright giggly, which definitely was new for Alec. He blamed the ridiculous amount of sugar they had consumed aiding his hyperactivity.

The movie finished too quickly for any of them, and that was the finale on the day with Magnus for Madzie. Dot popped in the room with an apologetic smile.

"Time to go, Madzie."

Madzie pouted but jumped up obediently, hugging Alec first and then Magnus.

Alec was a little surprised but petted her hair affectionately, hugging her back, and when Magnus hugged her, he hugged so tight that he picked her up and swung her around.

"You were the perfect princess all day. Thank you for today." he told her genuinely.

"I'll miss you. Thank you for the best day ever." she said in her little voice, the most words she had strung together in a row all day.

Alec could practically see Magnus' heart swell in his chest.

Madzie hugged him a second time as a goodbye before following Dot out of the door with a final wave.

Magnus feigned fainting after that, pulling an unexpected laugh out of Alec.

"She is so precious. I would adopt her in a second if only I was looking to settle down with a family now. I don't know how no one has snatched her up yet." Magnus said as they started returning the fort materials to their rightful places.

"Well, is there ever a right time? Most parents get blindsided by kids coming around when they least expect it. I know my parents did."

"Yeah, I agree." Magnus sat on the couch. "I just… I feel like I need a partner. Not everyone needs one to raise kids, I get that, but I need someone who can reel me in when I'm tempted to spoil them rotten or going over-the-top. Honestly, I don't know if I'm father material. I didn't exactly have any parental role models growing up."

Alec looked sideways at him, getting comfortable on the other end of the couch. "Did you not see yourself with Madzie today? You're amazing with kids – I see it every day you interact with your young fans. You treat them like equals. Every one of them. You'd be an incredible dad. Madzie, or any kid, would be lucky to have you."

Magnus smiled, eyes on the carpet, and the softness in his eyes let the reality of what Alec said catch up to him. He hadn't meant to go on and on like that. He just wasn't used to seeing Magnus admit vulnerability, or fear, and it brought out his protective nature.

Magnus spoke after a pregnant pause. "You know, Dot said in the car, when she asked Madzie why she liked me so much, that she looked up to me because she said 'he's like me'. From foster care. I never really thought of inspiring those people when I set out to follow my own dreams, but I think I'd want to adopt someone from the system. I may have grown out of the system but I'd love to save another kid, or more, from having to endure that."

Alec watched him, heart warming at the thought. He forgot what Izzy went on about when she tried to give him the run down of what made Magnus so amazing when she heard he got the job originally. Now that he said it, he remembered that Magnus had lost his parents young. His mom died when he was eight, father was never in the picture, and step-father gave up custody immediately. Or went to jail. Or both, Alec couldn't really remember. But the point was, he got thrown into the foster system early, with no family. He was passed from abusive home to neglectful home until he turned eighteen and could stand on his own.

"I think that's a great idea."

Magnus seemed lost in thought, so Alec got comfortable at the other end of the couch. He pulled out his phone and saw a new message from Izzy, commenting on the couple posts Magnus had put up already.

"Izzy approves of your Instagram choices." Alec commented.

Magnus beamed. "I do know how to pick them. Speaking of, I should finish the series off."

He grabbed his phone and sifted through his photos from the day, selecting a bunch to post. He reviewed his Instagram story, unable to help smiling at the sight of Madzie playing in the pool and throwing food before using Alec as a shield against Magnus' projectiles. When Magnus had tried to hide, Alec had thrown Madzie on his shoulders and got her to pelt him with marshmallows while he cried for mercy.

He wasn't used to seeing Alec looking so playful and lighthearted. He didn't know Alec could even have fun, but there was no doubt he was when he saw the video evidence. The skin around his hazel eyes crinkled, and Magnus swore his smile could light a city, his laugh melodic in the background mixed with Madzie's giggles.

It seemed his followers appreciated the bodyguard being included in the day's recap too. The comments on his posts could be divided by the usual thirsting for attention or reply from Magnus, gushing over how cute and lucky Madzie was, and then a good chunk talking about Alec.

@baneisbae Why is Magnus' bodyguard hot af AND good with kids?

@bane_lover: Pretty sure no one wrote on the contest that they would get both Magnus AND his smoking bodyguard for the day. I demand a recount.

@magnusis2fab4u: Okay Ellen totally called it – Magnus and his bodyguard are definitely a thing, right?! Magnus – you can't avoid the question forever! We want #Malec confirmed!

Magnus looked over at Alec, who was on his phone still, no doubt continuing to text Isabelle about his day. He had learned how close the two siblings were once he started getting to know Izzy, and that Alec was just as close if not closer to their adopted brother Jace.

Magnus looked at the time. It was still early. And honestly, he didn't feel anywhere near ready to turn in for the night.

He spotted the game console and jumped to his feet, perusing the collection of games in the cabinet before turning back to Alec with a smirk.

Alec felt his stare and looked up. "… What is that look for?"

"Fancy a friendly game?" Magnus waved a plastic case at him.

Alec raised an eyebrow at him. "If you're thinking we're going to play that game, friendly is the last word I'd use to describe how it will go."

Magnus grinned. "Oh don't use that as an excuse to get out of me creaming you. Here." He tossed him a controller. "You're player two though. You need to get used to the fact that I'll always be number one."

Alec rolled his eyes at him. "We'll see about that. Game on."

"Alexander! Are you kidding me?!" Magnus shouted as they sped around the race course and Alec once again shunted him on his way by and knocked him into a wall.

Alec just laughed. "Be lucky we're not on Rainbow Road right now."

"Oh just you wait."

"Magnus!" Alec groaned. "Stop throwing those damn green shells in the tunnel!"

"Ooh sorry! Can't hear you over my streak of getting first place!" Magnus taunted, his car doing its victory lap after crossing the finish line.

It had been a couple hours of MarioKart and it had gone about as well as Alec predicted. Lots of throwing insults at each other back and forth and nudging shoulders from their spot next to each other on the couch.

It wasn't long into the next track that Alec got some revenge.

"Alexander! Don't you fucking dar—"

"Sorry!" Alec laughed maniacally as he sped by Magnus' twirling car.

"Stupid red shells." Magnus grumbled as he tried to get back up to speed.

They were naturally competitive so this type of game was the worst idea, but there was no doubt both parties were having fun. Alec hadn't heard Magnus laugh this much in all his time knowing him, and Magnus was a generally jovial person, especially on stage and show appearances.

"Bastard! You did NOT just banana peel me right there?!" Alec griped, watching the other vehicles speed past his stalled car before going the extra inch to cross the finish line and coming in fifth.

"Rainbow Road time! Prepare to lose. Again. You must be used to it by now." Magnus teased.

"Hey, you've only won about half. I've held my own, thank you very much."

Sure enough, Magnus found Alec was better than expected at the famously challenging track. He had fallen off the edge a couple times on the sharper turns and well placed holes while Alec had still not slipped once despite some close calls.

They were starting on their third lap now and Alec was miles ahead of the rest, Magnus back in fourth, and he knew Alec wouldn't let him live it down if he beat him on the hardest level.

So he did the only logical thing he could think of.

"Hey!" Alec cried when Magnus suddenly snatched his controller out of his hands and held it above his head.

"Oh sorry, did you need this?" Magnus sneered, waving it behind him as Alec practically climbed in his lap to grapple for it.

"Magnus! Stop being such a child!" Alec complained, wrestling with him properly now.

They had been too close to the edge of the couch cushions due to the intensity of the game, so of course, with the shift of weight, their tangled form ended up toppling to the floor.

The controller bounced a few inches away out of Magnus' hand when Magnus' body slammed on top of Alec's.

"Oof." Alec grunted, hands automatically gripping Magnus' waist to steady him and unintentionally slipping under the loose material of his shirt.

Magnus was breathing heavily from their battle, their bodies fully aligned, and he looked down at his companion in surprise at their position.

Alec's bottom lip was between his teeth, his body frozen, and his hazel eyes searched Magnus', waiting for some sort of reaction. Some quip or innuendo that was typical of the other man.

Magnus couldn't help but have his eyes drawn to Alec's lip, watching the soft flesh yield to his blunt teeth, and he was licking his own without thinking.

He couldn't help his mind drifting back to the comments made by his followers. Alec really was gorgeous, all dark lashes and porcelain skin and sculpted cheekbones. And, thankfully, not dating his sister. And good with kids. And supportive and kind when he wasn't being a bossy, pain in the ass.

"Magnus…?"

Just hearing his name said so breathily made Magnus' stomach flip. It had taken some time, but he finally stopped using 'Mr. Bane'. He liked the way his name sounded coming from the other man's mouth. Especially like this. So silky and unbridled.

Alec's thumbs were drawing slow arcs above his hip bones. Magnus wondered if he even realized he was doing it.

He could just lean down and kiss him. Pull that bottom lip in his mouth, suck and nibble and bring out a groan from Alec. Make him feel good. Make him give up control.

Fuck, what was he thinking? This was Alec he was talking about. He'd probably slap him silly for even trying. Alec may be kind but he still found Magnus infuriating—that much could not be denied.

Magnus corrected his throat and backed off of Alec so he could sit up, brushing his clothes and getting to his feet.

"Well, looks like we both lost this round." Magnus said, glancing up at the TV to see the other characters had long since finished the race and they were in 7th and 8th.

Alec got to his feet, and Magnus was disappointed to see he wasn't meeting his eyes.

"We should probably get back to our room. Tomorrow is another early one."

Magnus nodded and began packing up the gaming system, trying not to worry that his moment of weakness may have ruined their good, progressive day of friendship.

Alec lay in bed that night, staring at the ceiling, and tried to get the end of day's event out of his mind.

He had had a lot of fun that day, way more than he anticipated, and more than he ever expected as security detail. Taking this job on was certainly a change of pace, and it only was proven more every day. He didn't expect to end up actually liking spending time with Magnus, but today had proven him wrong. Especially after Madzie left and they still managed to have fun together.

And then Magnus had to fall on top of him and Alec had to feel every line of his body. Had to smell the warm, woodsy scent of his cologne. See every fleck of colour in his chocolate eyes.

Alec laid like a deer in headlights while Magnus stared down at him like he had never seen him before. Like he was some wondrous sight to behold.

But then, just as quick, he was getting off of him and referencing the failed game they had been playing, and Alec felt like an idiot.

Magnus had just been stunned by the fall, taken off guard. He hadn't been about to kiss him.

Right?

Continue to Chapter 5

[trashcats-for-trashwriting]

In Light of Ardegi Allegations...

 I would like to take the time to share my personal story. First and foremost, I want to say I did not contribute to the anonymous messages sent to @/official-darkforest. Whether that is believed or not, well, I can’t force anyone’s hand. Seeing those messages made me think, though. If others have struggled, maybe I should share my experience. So, I’m going to try to recount events that led to my leaving the Ardegi server as best I can from my memory. I admittedly only have 1 screenshot that I will share below the cut; the rest is from memory and I want to try my best to present the most honest account I can.

EDIT: THERE ARE SOME ADDITIONAL NOTES AT THE END OF THIS. THE ORIGINAL STORY HAS NOT CHANGED BUT I HAVE ADDED SOME THOUGHTS.

I joined Ardegi last year and quickly created a gaggle of characters. For a time, I was really happy! I enjoy helping RP servers even when I am not a moderator, because it gives me something to do and a way to distract myself. RP has always been an outlet for me. I make my friends through RP and find creative freedom in RP. I offered to do things for Ardegi -- I made a map, which they still have permission to use to this day, I helped with a timeline and herb list -- and didn’t ask for anything in return.

I was, as I am in any RP, highly active. I was a full time college student taking online classes at the time, so I had a lot of free time on my hands. This allowed me to be available for RP for most of the day, all week. This led to me being involved in all the Clans’ plots as a reliable, active RPer.

If you follow the Ardegi blog, you may have seen mentions of Delilah of RustClan. I was approached by Admin Ken after pitching Delilah as a dark-minded character about possibly making her the next villain for the serverwide plot. I was happy and honored to accept.

I felt like I was friends with the staff team. The admins and moderators were easy to talk to. I became close to them, and sometimes would talk to them as friends in DMs when I had personal issues. I felt involved and included and genuinely a part of the server as a whole. During my time and talking to staff, they told me about past members who had been removed for a variety of reasons, and I was lead to believe that these members were bad for RP and that I should warn other RPs about them.

I’ve since learned all was not as it seemed, and that apparently these types of lies were unfortunately common. Additionally, I had friends who struggled to fit in with the Ardegi group. I was confused at the time. I had seemed to fit in so well, why were they struggling? Now, I feel as though it was the wool over my eyes that allowed me to fit in.

As a 21 year old in college, I admittedly suffered a lot of pressure, anxiety, stress, and depression. I still do, to a degree. Those of you who use RP and Discord servers may know that there is sometimes a channel called a “vent” channel. Sometimes it is preceeded with TW tags as well, because, in my experience, it is meant as a place to yell into the void and not have the void expected to yell back.

I started to go downhill in Ardegi after the new year.

In February, I was issued a warning by staff for godmodding characters. I had taken up the position of deputy in CliffClan and had told the currently serving medicine cat to assume they had healthy patients. In Ardegi, there was (at the time) a system for sick cats in CliffClan. It was complicated, a lot was going on, and the moderator who controlled the system was not easy to get in touch with, nor was the leader of the Clan. Rather than struggle with the system, I advised the medicine cat’s RPer that they did not need to do sickness rolls. I did not say the RPers wouldn’t request treatment still, but they no longer needed to do the complicated rolling system to see if treatment succeeded or failed.

This was deemed godmodding, and I was warned.

Shortly thereafter, I suffered an extreme bout of depression. I turned to the vent channel, which had been an extremely good outlet for me in the past, as I did not expect members to offer any support or aid. They’re not trained professionals. Vent is for yelling into the void, and so I yelled. I said I was not good enough, vented in an, admittedly, self-deprecating manner. I wasn’t looking for aid, I just wanted to yell.

A staff member messaged me after this occurred, and we started to talk. Believing that this was a personal discussion, not a discussion between a member of the RP and a staff member, I admitted that the godmodding warning had broken the dam of emotions I had been holding back for weeks. Stress from school had piled up, and as some of you with mental illness might know, it only takes one thing to break that dam sometimes. There’s nothing you can do about what breaks down the dam. You deal with it. You move on.

I admitted this to the staff member believing we were having a conversation as friends. I was wrong.

During these events, I was busy apologizing to the aforementioned medicine cat of CliffClan for my choice about the sick cats, and the staff member that had created the system. I was still in a bad place mentally, and I did not want to start confrontation or argument. I know that I can be hostile in the depths of depression, so rather than lash out, I wished to amend things professionally and without allowing for emotions to seep in.

Still struggling with a depressive episode, I turned to my personal Tumblr blog (not this blog) and vented. I have never forced anyone to follow my blog. I did not take the post I made to Ardegi and say “Hey guys, look at this!” In no way did I believe this post affected Ardegi. It was not a happy post. It was not a lighthearted post. It was sad and angry and depressing, but posting it made me feel better.

After I posted in my personal blog, I fell asleep. I calmed myself, recovered, and tried to start the slow climb back to stability. I was added to a group message with both admins and a moderator and sent the following message:

I don’t deny these points, but I felt attacked. 

1. Vent channels are for venting. As my vent was posted before the spoiler system in Discord, I had no way to black out what I said. The vent channel was marked as possibly triggering.

2. As mentioned, the things I said to a staff member were said friend-to-friend, not member-to-staff. I wasn’t saying it to make the staff member fix anything. I was just trying to talk to a friend and express what had happened.

3. My neutral-toned apology was meant to be professional, unbiased, and removed from the emotional state I was in.

4. My personal blog post was not shared in the server. I never asked the server to follow me.

I never abused or attacked any members of Ardegi. I was flexible with plots and RP. I adjusted my villain to fit within the standards of the RP (a RP that allowed the inclusion of the murder of a litter of kittens, in cold blood, before I was a member). I never asked Ardegi to be the professionals to help me. I used the appropriate channels to vent and spoke privately to a friend who turned out not to be a friend.

RP was my outlet. I believe that I never harmed anyone within Ardegi. Though it was phrased as asking me to take a willing leave of absence, the following line of deliberating whether I could stay or not was phrased in a way that...made me feel like I had no choice. I could leave quietly, or I would be forced out. I left quietly after expressing that I felt they had given me no choice.

Following my departure, friends within the server told me it was explained that I had left voluntarily. I shared the screenshot above with my friends and explained what I have explained here today. I cannot speak for my friends’ opinions, but I felt betrayed by Ardegi. They were lying to my friends and saying I had left voluntarily, making it sound like this was a choice I had.

I had no choice.

I could leave, or they would have made me leave. That’s not a choice, Ardegi, that’s an ultimatum.

I have since met some of the people that Ardegi’s staff spoke ill of to me. Those people, or rather person in my case, is not a bad person. They are nothing like what Ardegi led me to believe. After my own experience and sharing it with others, I really can’t believe in good faith that Ardegi hasn’t done what Anonymous users are claiming they’ve done. I know others they have hurt. Some members find a decent community there, but it’s not easy. From my experience, being in the leadership positions helps keep you in favor of the staff.

Make your own decisions. This is my testimony. I don’t want to cower and hide. Ardegi can say what they want about me; this is the story as I know it.

EDITED ADDITION BEGINS HERE

After posting this, I got in talks with Admin Ken of the Ardegi server. I had always considered the Ardegi team my friends before this incident, and so I was genuinely hurt by the message I had received. Ken and I set out to address our mutual concerns and try to find a common ground, and I believe we have achieved this.

Ken admits that the handling of my situation was not ideal, and that staff honestly panicked when faced with a situation of a member in deep depression. In Ken’s own words, 

“It was never our intent to just throw you out like that - our intent was to approach you and ask you to voluntarily take your leave, which we assumed you did - we didn’t intentionally lie to members about that.”

Knowing Ken before this event and having talked extensively, I believe these words to be genuine. I still believe that, 3 or so months ago, Ardegi did have some problems with how they handled my situation. I was not banned, but I left feeling as though that was my only option. Having talked to Ken, I realize now this wasn’t their intent.

Both sides admit their shortcomings. I should have handled my episode better, and staff should have handled the situation better. Ardegi has learned from this and is, in my opinion, trying to improve. Not all RP servers are perfect. 

Obviously, the biggest part of this is communication. Ken and I admit this should have been a talk had a long time ago, but neither of us was willing to make that first step for a long time. We have both apologized and want to try being friends again, which I think is a very positive outcome.

If you need to ask questions, you can message me here or at  bepbep_beaches#6020 on Discord.

[ethicsustinvest]

PODCAST: Top US ESG Companies, Solar Power Breakthrough, Investing Tip

Top 100 US ESG companies for 2019 by CR Magazine. Profitably invest in harmony with your spiritual or religious ideals. Solar power breakthrough—but investing in solar has its perils. A valuable investing tip that really works. Confused who’s best, Uber or Lyft? An analyst compares them. Vanguard launches actively managed ESD ETF. And more.

PODCAST: Top US ESG Companies, Solar Power Breakthrough, Investing Tip

Transcript & Links May 26, 2019

Hello, Ron Robins here. Welcome to my podcast Ethical & Sustainable Investing News to Profit By! for May 26, 2019. Presented by Investing for the Soul. investingforthesoul.com is your site for vital global ethical and sustainable investment resources.

Now to this podcast. And for any terms that are unfamiliar to you, simply Google them!

Also, you can find a full transcript, live links and often bonus material at my podcast page located at investingforthesoul.com/podcasts

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The first item to discuss is CR Magazine's 100 Best Corporate Citizens of 2019! CR Magazine reviewed 1,000 US companies for their ESG practices. Robbie Lock, a writer for 3BL Association, commenting on the research results wrote that “Owens Corning tops the ranking, followed by Intel, General Mills, Campbell Soup and HP Inc… Twenty-seven companies are new to the ranking in 2019 including Allstate, Delta Airlines and Mondelez International. Biggest gainers include Ball Corp., CBRE, Ford and Xylem, Inc.”

Mr. Lock provides further clarification as to how CR Magazine obtains the rankings. Quoting him again, he says, ”The 100 Best Corporate Citizens ranking uses 134 total corporate disclosure and performance factors in seven categories: climate change, employee relations, environment, finance, governance, human rights, and stakeholders and society.”

Also, that the, “There is no fee for companies to be assessed. To compile this ranking, information is obtained from publicly available resources only, rather than questionnaires or company submissions. Companies have the option to verify data collected for the ranking at no cost.” Close quote.

I like the idea that companies don’t pay to be included in the research and the data compiled is from publicly available sources.

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The 100 Best Corporate Citizens demonstrate various degrees of above average corporate ethics, and ethics is a central theme for those wanting to apply their spiritual or religious beliefs to investing. If you’re interested in applying spiritual or religious values to investing, Meredith Jones just published in MarketWatch a post that could be of interest to you. It’s titled, “Opinion: When your faith guides your investing decisions, can you still beat the stock market?” And she says the answer can be yes.

Ms. Jones reviews the leading ETFs and mutual funds for investors interested in Catholic, Jewish, Muslim, and Christian-Bible related ethics and principles.

For Catholics, she likes the Global X S&P 500 Catholic Values ETF, LKCM Aquinas Catholic Equity Fund, and the Ave Maria group of funds.

For those of Jewish persuasion, she says there’s only one for now and that’s the AMIDEX35 Israel Mutual Fund which invests in Israeli companies.

For Muslims, there’s the Imam Fund IMANX the Amana group of funds and ETFs listed on the London Stock Exchange including iShares MSCI World Islamic ETF ISWD and the iShares MSCI USA Islamic ETF ISUS.

And under the umbrella of Christian-Bible offerings, Ms. Jones reviews the Timothy Plan and Guidestone family of funds.

For links to these funds go to my podcast page for this edition at investingforthesoul.com/podcasts.

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In my last podcast, I introduced the research of Tim Nash at Corporate Knights. Well, he’s produced another research report that compares the pros and cons of investing in Uber or Lyft. You can read his full post under the title of Tim Nash’s sustainable stock showdown: Uber vs. Lyft.

Personally, I’m not keen on either company because I believe competition—not just between them but also other entrants including potentially motor vehicle manufacturers themselves—will force them to keep user prices low which will continue to severely restrict profits. Also, their environmental benefits are overplayed as I mentioned in my podcast of April 12.

Anyhow, this is what Mr. Nash says in conclusion, “I’d put Lyft ahead by a headlight in this week’s Sustainability Stock Showdown, but anyone that’s interested in investing in either stock should be ready to fasten their seat belts and brace for a bumpy ride.”

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One big area that I know might interest you is renewable energy. I have several items of news and information that I want to share with you concerning investing in this area.

The first thing you should know is that developments in new products are almost overwhelming. This industry has numerous innovative players and it’s very difficult to know who will eventually be a leader. Sure, you can buy renewable energy ETFs—and a good read on what to buy is an article that appeared recently on Nasdaq, titled, 5 Clean Energy ETFs to Buy for 2019.

But if you’re interested in individual companies, here’s what I’ve seen in the past two weeks.

The New York Times ran an excellent piece reviewing a Danish company called Orsted. They produce massive offshore wind turbines whose energy costs are rapidly declining while already being highly competitive with new natural-gas fired plants.

In solar power, there’s been a tremendous breakthrough in producing new solar panels that appear to be 20-25% more efficient than the best existing panels. A paper outlining the breakthrough appeared in ScienceDaily under the title, Breakthrough in new material to harness solar power. Who will manufacture, market and install such panels wasn’t mentioned.

Incidentally, these panels do have a downside—they contain some lead. I’m sure testing in rainy and humid environments will be needed and manufacturing processes and end-of-life disposal policies will be needed too, considering that most countries will want assurance about the safe removal of lead.

I did a detailed study on solar panel manufacturers a few years ago and discovered that the manufacturing processes themselves can be highly toxic. Furthermore, most countries had no end-of-life policies in place to deal with the safe disposal of the toxic components of solar panels—and that is deeply concerning!

It’s possible that the companies engaged in the manufacturing, marketing and installation of solar panels could at some point be hit with levies or fines in dealing with these issues.

At the time of my research, I was most impressed with SunPower and its environmental efforts.

So, one thing you might want to find out before investing in solar panel manufacturers is how they perform environmentally. A great resource for this is the Solar Power Scorecard produced by the Silicon Valley Toxics Coalition. However, their last scorecard is a little dated and I’m hoping to see their new one soon.

Incidentally, Fox Business just reported on the huge growth of solar panel installation in the US in a post, titled, 2 Million U.S. Solar Installations Are Just the Start.

By the way, a tip for checking how investment analysts rate solar companies—or any companies for that matter—is simply to type into Google Search the name of the company followed by Reuters—the name of the media company—after it. Click search and then click the search item that says the company name and the text Reuters quote. Reuters will then bring-up a research report. Click on analysts in the links bar and you can see how analysts rate the stock of the company you’re researching.

By getting the information on how analysts rate the companies you’re interested in can be terrifically helpful in deciding which companies to invest in. It saves you a lot of time and effort. And this is exactly the kind of tip and help you get in my DIY Ethical-Sustainable Investing Pays Tutorial! This tutorial will be the most worthwhile 1-hour you’ll ever spend getting help with your investments!

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Some other exciting new developments that might interest you are the following.

Vanguard, one of the world’s largest fund companies, has launched its first actively managed ESG ETF, called the Global ESG Select Stock Fund (ticker VEIGX). It will officially begin trading on June 4. This is big as ETFs are mostly ‘passively’ managed, that is they pick a group of stocks typically based on an index, whereas active management means selling and buying different stocks as the managers see fit. In recent years passive investing has usually outperformed active investing. However, who knows what the future will bring.

Also, S&P Dow Jones, who have had ESG indices for many years is launching something new. They are launching ESG global indexes based on core regional and country benchmarks. What is especially interesting is that these indexes, and quoting their press release, provide “a return profile that's consistent with mainstream benchmarks that have been widely followed for years.”

As an aside, what you can do, where possible, is to review the indexes that interest you and see what companies are included in them. You can often get useful ideas for new companies to look at!

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So, these are my top news stories and tips for ethical and sustainable investors over the past two weeks.

Again, to get all the links or to read the transcript of this podcast and sometimes get additional information too, please go to investingforthesoul.com/podcasts and look for this edition.

And be sure to click the like and subscribe buttons in iTunes or wherever you listen to this podcast. That way you can help promote not only this podcast but ethical and sustainable investing globally.

And remember, I’m here to help you grow in your investment success—and investing in opportunities that reflect your personal values!

Please don’t hesitate to contact me if you have any questions about the content of this podcast or anything else investment related. I can’t say I’ll have all the answers for you and some answers I can’t give due to licensing restrictions. But where I can help I will.

Now, a big thank you for listening—and please click the share buttons to share this podcast with your friends and family.

Come again! My next podcast is scheduled for June 7. Bye for now!

Check out this episode!