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calmariah · 1 month ago

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Using Canto VII to Predict Dante's Identity

This theory now has a second part! Please read it HERE!

(major spoilers for the games 'Library of Ruina' and 'Limbus Company' up to Canto VII Part 2 under the cut! you have been warned!)

(EXTREMELY long post ahead!)

SECTION 0: PROLOGUE

Dante. The tenth sinner of LCB. Our Executive Manager Esquire.

Despite being our story's protagonist, Dante's identity and past is a gaping void.

It's very interesting when a story has a character with amnesia, because we all get to make wild guesses at their true secret identity.

I've seen a few predictions. Ayin, Roland, that one random Seven Association Fixer from Library of Ruina of the same name.

The Vermillion Cross, even. The colours line up, as does the Cross carrying their weapon on their back. Biblical imagery makes a lot of sense here.

The character I'm about to accuse of being Clockhead however, is a candidate I have seen no person put forth.

Indulge me for a moment and assume that Dante's identity is possible to reasonably guess at all. That they are a character we have become acquainted with in prior Project Moon works, or indeed the content of Limbus Company itself.

As of writing, the most recent update to Limbus Company is Canto VII Part 2. This theory will assume that you have played or otherwise experienced its story content to completion.

This is because I believe VII-2 has finally delivered us the information we need to make that reasonable guess.

For now though, let's cast our minds much, much further back.

SECTION 1: LIBRARIAN OF DEATH

Curtain call for the Reception of the Black Silence.

Roland lies defeated, and the player is given a choice.

Choosing forgiveness leads to the true, canonical ending of the game. According to Steam achievement statistics, only 10.1% of the player base chose to take Roland's head instead.

If Roland is slain, Angela uses the light of the Library to complete her dream of becoming human.

The Patron Librarians are killed, turned back into books. Angela stands alone atop her ivory nest.

No longer an Impurity, the Library is free to violently expand as a Star of the City.

It would remain that way for thirteen years.

After a fade to black, we meet a new character. One who, at the time, had no name.

???: That was one grand job you did with all these dangerous monsters you've gathered, Miss Librarian of Death.

ANGELA: …Good work.

???: “A monster should behave as one…”

???: I trusted and followed you, knowing nothing.

ANGELA: How many colleagues of yours… the so-called ‘Bookhunters’ have you killed?

???: I’ve lost count.

ANGELA: And countless more people will die in the future.

ANGELA: I know humans. I learned the secrets of mankind that the City had been hiding from them.

???: I’m sure you do… And I know you.

???: Thank you for all your hard work. Please die once and for all.

ANGELA: Thank you for putting me to rest, o child who had no name.

???: Even the brightest star fades someday.

???: It will eventually be felled by man, just like any other star.

???: As tonight, again, the stars

are brushed by the wind.

"The Bookhunter" was the only name we had for this character for a very long time. But you may know them by another name.

Perhaps that name is Bari, the Knight of the White Moon.

Or perhaps that name is Dante.

SECTION 2: PRINCESS BARI

It's extremely common for important characters in Project Moon's universe to share their names with figures in stories, mythology or religion.

Roland of the 12 Paladins of Charlemagne. Emil Sinclair from Demian. Moses, after a prophet in Judaism, Christianity, and a smattering of Abrahamic religions.

I have reason to believe Bari is no exception. I'm not particularly well read on the following subject, so I encourage you to do your own research. Apologies if I make any mistakes, and please correct them if you can.

However, I will lay out the basics here that support my theory.

Princess Bari is an incredibly important figure in Korean mythology and spirituality. Born as the seventh daughter to royals who wanted a son, Bari is banished to fend for herself outside of the walls of her family's kingdom.

There are many different versions and tellings of the story, but most share the central story structure. When Bari's parents fall ill, they learn (through dream, premonition, or any number of reasons) that the cure to what ails them is a water or elixir in a far away divine or spiritual realm.

Learning of her parents' illness, Bari sets off on a journey to cross the boundary between the worlds of the living and the dead to find the cure.

When she reaches this divine realm, Bari collects water of life and flowers of resurrection, and returns home.

She learns that she is much too late however, as her parents have passed away and their bodies will soon be buried.

Bari attempts to heal them anyway-- and the flowers she found restore her parents back to their mortal coil, and the water of life cures their ails.

In some versions of the myth, Bari ascends and becomes a goddess after her death. Typically, she is a goddess of the divine realm, and/or a goddess who leads the deceased to the afterlife.

Back to Limbus Company for a moment, Bari tells Sancho the following when they finally introduce themself at the bank of the River of Oblivion.

(I understand that this is Sansón's telling of events. Since he seems to be attempting to accurately restore Sancho's memories, we can assume at least this much is accurate.)

Searching for a flower grown in water.

I believe there is enough evidence to believe that Bari is based on the mythological princess.

SECTION 3: INTRO WRAP UP

There are four figures to consider from here on out; two versions of each character.

Dante Limbus Company, bumbling executive manager.

Dante Alighieri, legendary Italian poet who features in his Divine Comedy.

Bari Project Moon, Knight of the White Moon and in another time, Bookhunter.

Princess Bari, mythological shaman who crossed between the worlds of life and death to save her family from death.

It's important to keep the distinction between these figures in mind. Adaptation does not need to be 100% faithful. Just because something happened to Princess Bari does not mean it happened or will happen to our Bari.

That said, looking to the original stories can be helpful to understand themes that appear in Bari and Dante's stories, and the ways they might overlap.

Following so far? I really hope so.

That should be all the setup we need now.

We have our two characters, Dante and Bari. Let us now consider the themes they share, to see if they may be the same character.

Each of these examples, considered alone, may appear unconvincing or coincidental. But I think the sheer amount of common links you can draw between Dante and Bari make it impossible to say them being the same character is baseless.

So, allow me. I believe the primary themes we must look at are:

KATABASIS

TIME

RESURRECTION

LITERATURE

THE SAPLING OF LIGHT

Let's tackle these one at a time.

SECTION 4: KATABASIS

Katabasis is a word referring to a journey into the underworld, a reoccurring motif seen in countless mythologies or works of literature.

Katabasis is a very interesting theme here, because it can actually be seen in ALL FOUR versions of the characters we have.

Dante (Divine Comedy) is obvious and simple. Dante and Virgil's descent into Inferno is one of the most famous examples of a katabasis.

Dante (Limbus Company) is similar. They are aboard a hell bus driven by someone named Charon, and the chapter of their story we're currently in is called Inferno.

While not a literal journey into the underworld, it is undeniably, thematically, a quest into Hell. Counts!

Princess Bari journeys across the boundaries of life and death to get the water and flowers of resurrection. Entering the divine realm of death? That's a katabasis!

And the knight Bari is the one that maybe seems the most out of place. But I think this line from Sansón's play might help us understand where they fit in.

Bari's search for the river that grows the flower they seek is leading them deep into the abyss under the Ruins.

They're already a wanderer, someone who travels far across the City and the Ruins. It could be said that they were already on a journey very similar to Dante's.

It's another case where the journey is symbolic-- looking for an object far beneath the crust of the earth, travelling across a hellscape to find it.

Oh dear, that reminds me of someone already.

SECTION 5: TIME

Dante's associations with time are obvious. They have a clock for a head, slowed down time in Canto 6, and are somehow able to 'rewind' the sinners back to life.

They have also been having strange visions where they glimpse the past of the sinners.

That last part is what interests me. Because these quick, unclear glimpses through time remind me of a certain river.

The Mirae-mirae River, which Bari encourages their companion to look into.

And Sancho does.

For Bari to understand how the Mirae-mirae River works, they would need to have looked into it themself.

Potentially, they even sipped from it, though I have no evidence. I simply find it strange that Bari would know the risks of drinking the river water, yet not the river's name.

If they had some other source of information to learn this, wouldn't it have included a name? Who can say? It doesn't actually matter.

What matters is the fact that Bari could see the future. If not by drinking, by looking into the water surface.

This goes a long way to explain this bizarre part of Sansón's stageplay earlier.

Bari arrives to entertain the lonely king with stories, and seemingly two of the stories they tell are the events of Canto V and Canto VI.

Assuming that the Mirae-mirae River shows you visions in YOUR future, not just any random person's, then for this vision to make sense, Bari needs to witness Canto V and Canto VI in the future.

It's my understanding that they might've seen their own participation in those stories as Dante.

"A hero's perilous encounter with an unyielding monster" could potentially be describing Canto III, with Sinclair vs. Peccatula Kromer, but that one's a bit too vague to be helpful.

It's not hard and fast evidence, and might just be an innocent bit of narrative rhyming. "Golly gee, isn't it fun that the stories Bari told were coincidentally similar to the adventure we are on?" Maybe.

Regardless, we have a character who is seeing glimpses of the past in Dante, and a character who can see glimpses of the future in Bari. I find that an interesting thematic connection.

SECTION 6: RESURRECTION

Now this one's a bit more promising. Being able to bring the sinners back from death and mortal injury is arguably the most notable of Dante's abilities.

Princess Bari's katabasis led her to claiming the flowers that allowed her to perform a miracle of resurrection, and she herself became a goddess of life after death following her own passing.

Both are figures capable of resurrection.

Though, that's the obvious part. I'd like to instead speak of Dante's personal death and resurrection. Because it could be said that Dante has died before.

Standing over the bank of the Lethe, Bari shared their concerns with their confidant.

To lose your memories of the life you have lived is much like death.

When the clock replaced Dante's head, their memories quickly washed away into oblivion.

Assume for me they were Bari. Bari died here, and "Dante" woke up in their place.

As Executive Manager, Dante leads the sinners through Inferno, as seen below.

(Thank you Limbus Company .gg wiki for sourcing the text here! I did not want to have to refight GasHarpoon just for a tiny part of this post...)

ISHMAEL: Before I saw that recruitment post... after I boarded the Pequod… even after I joined Limbus Company… I've never taken the helm of my own ship.

ISHMAEL: But… I think I've finally found my compass.

AHAB: Does a mere deckhand dare speak of her own compass now?

ISHMAEL: Yeah. An incredibly annoying compass that keeps getting in my way. But… they're also a compass that, even as they waver, points to where I want to go…

ISHMAEL: So I want to go on an adventure with that compass. A real adventure. To explore and learn this world we live in.

And it's not just Ishmael, either. After Heathcliff's distortion ended, he said the following.

HEATHCLIFF: Oi, Clockhead.

HEATHCLIFF: You wouldn't know this, but... Well, everyone but you would know.

HEATHCLIFF: When I'm starting to lose my mind, when I'm completely blinded and deafened…

HEATHCLIFF: When I feel my sense of self, my very being, slowly fading away into the dark…

HEATHCLIFF: … I hear that faint noise.

HEATHCLIFF: That damned noise of a clock.

HEATHCLIFF: It opens my eyes. Drags me back to reality.

DANTE: Well, that's…

DANTE: Because I'm your manager. Bringing you back to your paths is what I do.

Despite being lost in oblivion-- again, akin to death-- Dante guides their sinners along their correct paths.

Please recall what became of Princess Bari after her death.

A goddess of the divine realm who guided wayward souls through the afterlife.

From Inferno to Paradiso, perhaps.

(Huh. Maybe 'guidance' would've been a better name for this section. By this logic, maybe Bari is Vergilius.....!!.)

SECTION 7: LITERATURE

This one's quite interesting to me.

Other than being named for a poet, Dante has very little association with actual literature. They write notes on their little PDA device, but that's about it as far as I understand.

Bari however has incredible association with literature!

Most obviously with how they regaled (a person who I am comfortable assuming is) the original Don Quixote with tales of adventure and excitement.

Assuming I'm correct about some of their stories coming from the Mirae-mirae River, they would've had to pen some of those tales themself, drawing from what they saw.

In another time they were a person known as a Bookhunter, and personally responsible for executing a library's director.

When they do so, Bari says the following to the dead air.

BARI: As tonight, again, the stars

are brushed by the wind.

The line break is unusual for how Library of Ruina formats narration or dialogue, and it brings to mind poetry. One last short stanza for a dead woman, perhaps.

Literature is a motif associated with extremely important or powerful characters in Project Moon media, such as Angela. The second game took place in a god damn library!

Dante is named after a poet. Bari was a storyteller. I think this can't NOT be important.

Bari = Vergilius theory gains merit...

SECTION 8: THE SAPLING OF LIGHT

As part of Sansón's stageplay, Bari says the following.

BARI (SINCLAIR): It is said that when an efflorescent tree comes to blossom, steeped and nurtured in the waters of many rivers since its saplinghood, it becomes imbued with a special power.

BARI (SINCLAIR): I can't even begin to imagine what powers a tree born from that particular river may hold.

I think it's possible that the river Bari seeks is the river of human consciousness that Lobotomy Corporation Facility X-394 was built over-- and thus the river that the Library was built over as well.

Dante's Sapling of Light abilities correspond with the Sephirot of the Seed of Light project, meaning it's extremely likely they share an origin.

This is hardly breaking news, but the arrangement of the Sephirot and their departments in Lobotomy Corporation form the inverted version of the Kabbalistic Tree of Life, forming instead the Tree of Death.

Dante's Sapling of Light ability menu shows Hokma at the top of the diagram, where as Malkuth was at the top in Lobotomy Corporation.

As Dante unlocks more abilities, we should see the Tree of Life form from each of these connections, this time healthy and upright.

It's possible that Bari's goal was to create that Tree of Life. Find the river that the Tree of Death-- the Library-- grew from, and nurture a healthy sapling in its waters again. One untainted by Angela's ambition.

(It's possible that Bari seeking the river predates the Seed of Light project. I don't think this changes much-- Bari would still be seeking to create what would end up being Dante's Sapling of Light.)

At the very least, this would establish a connection between Bari and the sapling inside of Dante's clock. I don't think it should be ignored.

SECTION 9: LIGHTNING ROUND

Phew. That's a lot of talking! I've established the main points that I feel tie a deep thematic link between Bari and our esteemed manager, even if I haven't proven necessarily that they are the same character.

However, I believe that if we're intended to guess Dante's identity before the reveal, Bari is pretty much the only coherent option.

It wouldn't be much of a twist if I could figure out all the who what when wheres and whys before it happens, I suppose!

One last section for the road. Here's a bunch of stuff that I noticed that probably doesn't matter, but might serve as tertiary evidence for this theory.

STARS:

Stars are a motif that came up a lot for Dante towards the start of the game, in the prologue and Canto 1. Here's some examples.

PANTHER: It's a shame-- I wanted to have a look at your face. I reckon you won't tell us where your star is, right?

DANTE: Like hell I am. I'm taking ■■■'s location to the grave with...

FAUST: You've lost your way in a dark forest.

DANTE: I'm... sorry, what?

FAUST: Yet you were not overcome with fear. Why was that?

DANTE: That's...

DANTE: I could simply... lift my head to find the star.

FAUST: That's right.

FAUST: Now, repeat with the heart what I tell you aloud as you remind yourself of that image.

FAUST: Follow your star.

DANTE: Follow... your star.

It's currently unclear what Dante's star is, and I will make no attempt to figure out what it could be here. Stars are undeniably a motif of theirs, is my point here.

Bari is the one to behead the Library as it exists as a Star of the City in the Librarian of Death ending, and muses on the nature of stars going out in that vaguely poetic nature as the game fades to black.

JUST KIND OF THE WAY THEY HOLD THEMSELVES:

That title's pretty flippant, but this is, in my opinion, one of the BETTER pieces of evidence!

Take a look at these two sprites for me.

The Knight of the White Moon! Hardly raring for battle. Their left hand tucked into their coat pocket, their right arm resting lazily on the scabbard of their sword.

Let's look at Dante's conversation sprite from some of the earlier cantos...

Oh my.

Well, that's not the only position we see Bari standing in. Let's look at that blurry CG from the end of Part 2. Unblurred, of course.

You have to admit, it feels at least a LITTLE bit deliberate!

They also both wear long, coloured coats with full black clothing underneath-- but I will readily admit that "long coat/suit with monocoloured shirt under it" describes 90% of the characters in this game.

PRONOUNS:

Both Dante and Bari have been consistently referred to with they/them pronouns, contrary to what some select few Limbus fans on Reddit would rather you believe.

I personally don't subscribe to the whole "the reason why Dante uses they/them pronouns is because they're intended to be a self-insert character for you, the player!"

I think Dante is a HELPFUL player insert-- for those who have not played Lobotomy Corporation or Library of Ruina. Their unfamiliarity with the City, its people and its customs is an excellent way to ease a new player into the world of Project Moon.

That does NOT mean that Dante IS the player, however. Dante has many characteristics of their own and is no more a reflection of the player than any other character.

It is entirely possible that Dante and Bari both using neutral pronouns is currently just an obfuscation to hide Dante's identity and Bari's general entire thing from the player for the time being.

If that is the case, and we find out they're both men or something... Egg on my face, I suppose.

Either way, it's a characteristic both of them share. Add it to the pile.

(Though if they both turn out to be non-binary or women, I will derive a little bit of O-05-76 from all the he/him Dante defaulters...)

(Thank you the-spoonicorn for the correction! In 7-35, Sancho says the following to Don Quixote.)

SANCHO: Will she be coming today? Again?

(Bari, at the very least, is confirmed to be a woman. This does not disprove that she could be Dante, though it does kneecap the shared motif of having a neutral or obscured gender identity.)

(Thank you again!)

BARI-DEGI:

It's my understanding that the mythological Princess Bari's name derives from Bari-degi, which can mean 'abandoned child' or 'thrown away thing' in Korean.

This is because she was abandoned by her family for being the seventh daughter born to them.

With Bari cautioning Sancho about drinking from the River of Oblivion, it feels strange to suggest they would've willingly cooperated with a plan that would've resulted in the erasure of their own self and memories. It disquieted them enough before.

This isn't me saying it hurts the theory-- I actually think it IMPROVES it.

It would be dramatic and also fulfils part of the original myth regarding Princess Bari, and makes Bari's name a fun self-fulfilling prophecy.

If they craved the power of resurrection so much that they would take their own memories, despite cautioning Sancho against it. That they would throw their old name away, as Princess Bari was thrown away by her family.

It symbolizes both Princess Bari dying after a natural life, and her crossing into the realm of the dead in the first place.

In that dark forest, Bari would've taken a katabasis-- died and crossed into the realm of the dead. And they immediately began an adventure through that Inferno as Dante.

(Side note, perhaps if the Sapling inside of Dante's head was also watered by the River of Oblivion... could that be why Dante's memories are missing?)

Well, I'm not here to prove that.

I'm also not here to prove Bari is Dante. I just want you to think about it!

SECTION 10: IN CONCLUSION, IT WOULD BE PRETTY COOL:

And wouldn't it!? Dante's true identity is a mystery that's been hanging over us for such a long time. If we find out that we've had canonical pre-amnesia Dante dialogue since Canto 7-- hell, since LIBRARY OF RUINA, that'd be incredible!

I think it makes perfect sense that if Bari is pre-amnesia Dante, they appeared in one of Library of Ruina's bad endings. It's an obscure ending to a long and difficult game, and we know that Project Moon plan these projects far in advance.

Why not tease the protagonist of your third game, but hide it under everyone's noses!?

Why not make the protagonist of your universe where everyone's named after stories or folklore a poet and storyteller!?

And why not base that character in an important spiritual Korean myth!?

Gaaagh. At the end of the day, we can't know for sure, and I haven't proven anything. But thank you for coming on this journey with me.

It's a shame that the most we can see of Bari's capabilities and attitude is in the paper fight where they're wearing a helmet and they're so stylised.

If only we could just take that helmet off and

holy SHIT

#project moon #limbus company #canto vii #canto vii spoilers #canto 7 #canto 7 spoilers #limbus company spoilers #library of ruina spoilers #theoryposting #long post #image heavy #dante lcb

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softpine · 7 months ago

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can i just word vomit for a min...

there was a point in late 2023 where i felt like i overstayed my welcome on simblr and i planned on just wrapping frozen pines up as quickly as possible and moving on. continuing to write when it's clear that the audience for it is dwindling felt so embarrassing that i almost didn't even want to put effort into it anymore, because i was afraid it just looked pathetic (obligatory disclaimer: no one made me feel this way, you're all so lovely, it's just the nature of seeing a community change over 7 years). writing already feels very personal to me and it's becoming increasingly harder for me to put my work out there (again, for reasons unrelated to simblr and entirely related to mental illness 🤙🏻). i know my story is so long that it deters new readers, and so sporadic that it makes old readers drop off with time. this has really been bothering me lately because i don't know what i can do to fix it. i don't think there IS anything i can do.

but. okay. don't make fun of me for saying this. dan and phil returning to youtube kinda changed my mindset? they may be pulling a fraction of the views they got in their peak, but they're happier than they've ever been and they're working on things they actually want to do, not things they think will be particularly popular. seeing that has made me realize that it is possible to keep finding joy in a community that has largely moved on without you. obviously my little blog is nowhere near the same scale, so this feels kind of silly, but i've been thinking about all the things i used to do on simblr that were never fun for me, i mainly did them because i knew they would get notes or because i felt like i had to do it. making cc, lookbooks, sim requests, reshade help (oh my god the reshade help), lot downloads, etc. they DID get notes, but i can't imagine spending my time doing any of that stuff ever again tbh.

on top of that, it makes me sad to scroll through my dash and realize that i don't recognize most of the people i see anymore. i still talk to some wonderful people here who i consider friends and that's invaluable to me (💖), but the broader community aspect is something i no longer feel a part of. and believe me, i know i'm at fault here because it's not like i'm going out of my way to talk to new people or participate in trends like i used to. i don't blame anyone except the passage of time!!

frozen pines, and simblr by extension, played such a gigantic part in my life when i needed it the most. and that's not to say that i don't still care about it, because i absolutely do, but it's a different kind of feeling. i've always promised that i would give frozen pines a satisfying conclusion rather than silently abandoning it someday, and though i do intend to keep that promise, i know it's possible that i might never get there. but i don't want to let my own insecurities get in the way of something i really enjoy doing. writing is an intrinsic piece of me that i'll never quit doing, but sharing my writing on tumblr is something that can't (and shouldn't) last forever. i know that. but i'm going to enjoy it to the fullest while we're all still here together 💞

to anyone who's still reading my silly story after all these years (especially those of you who still check in on my blog even though you're not on simblr anymore): thank you thank you thank you THANK YOUUU. you don't have to change a single thing about what you're doing. this is not me fishing for compliments or putting down an ultimatum, this is just me trying to make sense of my feelings.

but with all this being said, i've decided to quit simblr and start my own exclusive streaming service for $60 a year, i hope you'll all support me as i increase my production value 😌

(just kidding. ily. okay that's all)

#to be 100% clear this is not a goodbye - i'm literally halfway done with the next story post #just sort of an update on the state of my brain #👍🏻#btw...... sorry to Watcher fans lmaoo you guys really got the short end of the parasocial relationship stick..... </3 #that's not relevant to anything i've said here i've just spent way too much time thinking about how youtube has changed in the past 20 year #because i'm a loser that got really into youtube when i was 11 and never looked back #and then the watcher thing happened. and i was like ohhh if dan and phil did that to me i would have to die about it.

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octoberland · 1 month ago

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Invisible

Only TWD would get me to come back here writing my fandom thoughts. It's a landmine because you never know how people will react. I am going to share some deeply personal thoughts. I ask that you treat this vulnerability with the respect that it deserves. Spoilers for tonight's episode. And a trigger warning for my personal experiences with abuse.

I met Carol 14 years ago. It was a time in my life when she was a mirror for me. Meek, scared, abused Carol. The little mouse. Jumping when Ed said jump.

By the time the show aired that year I had extricated myself from my situation. But I was still terrified every day. I mostly didn't sleep at night. When I did sleep, I would prop things against the doors so I could hear if someone came in. I would rarely be out of the house at night. On the occasions I was outside after dark I would be walking with my heart in my throat, beating the loudest of drums in my ears. Every stranger was a potential threat. Every shadow could be him coming back to kill me.

I latched onto Carol in my fear and despair. I understood her. Related to her. Felt inspired by her. I was hers from the moment she bashed Ed's skull in. It was so cathartic watching her do that. I wished I could have that moment in my life.

Like her, people judged me. People blamed me for being with a man like that. Said I must like bad boys. Said I liked the attention. Asked why I didn't just leave. It's all so easy to dissect when you're on the outside.

Unlike Carol I didn't have a walker to take out my abuser. I extricated myself. It was one of the most difficult things I've ever done. And it came with great risk. And I mostly did it alone.

I watched as she grew strong. And I grew strong too. Like her, I learned to fight. To be fair, she was not my only influence there. I have Captain America/Chris Evans to thank for that too. I hope someday I get to tell him that story. But watching her grow was an inspiration.

Like many people, I was moved by her ability to connect with Daryl. You don't understand how hard that can be after abuse. It's been 14 years and I've still not been in another relationship. I may never be again. That kind of abuse leaves an indelible mark on you.

But with him she blossomed. Sexually, emotionally, and just as a human. I admired her ability to do that.

The trauma was still there though. We saw that. Her edges became too sharp. Her distance too cold. But I get it. I really, truly get it.

But through it all her relationship with Daryl remained. They were each other's North Star. Not perfect, but constant.

But the sad truth is, at the end of the day these characters don't belong to us. They are written by flawed humans with personal agendas and like with any long running series, the longer it runs the higher chance for writers to fuck things up.

Before I dive more specifically into tonight's episode and the Book of Carol let me just say that I still love Carol and I still love Daryl and I still love Caryl. If you want to stop reading here just know that Carol remains an icon to me for very personal reasons. But that is part of why I'm writing this.

Potential spoilers beyond the cut.

The writing this season is sloppy, imho. And this is where I put my writer hat on and try to look at things more objectively. It seems like Gimple is mining the past because it's "cool" and not because he actually wants to address any long standing trauma that Carol has.

Everyone's trauma journey is different and I get that. But after 14 years I doubt that Carol is going to start panicking when going into a barn. In fact, we've already seen her entering barns in early seasons without any issues. I wish the show had consulted some trauma experts. They could have provided some examples of things that might actually set her off. Like seeing a little girl walker. Or meeting a child named Sophia. And speaking of that, I know Carol is supposed to be tough and sneaky and all that but the episode where she lied about her daughter to get the plane really bothered me. If the memory of her daughter is so traumatic I feel like she would not use her daughter like that.

This reunion episode was a missed opportunity to explore trauma in a more meaningful way. It was a missed opportunity for Carol and Daryl to have some truly meaningful conversations. I know I've said this before but she FLEW ACROSS THE OCEAN. DURING AN APOCALYPSE. And all he basically did was grunt one liners at her and lie about how he never stopped trying to get back to her. These two deserve to have a real conversation where they talk about how incredible what she did was. They need to talk about what that means for each of them. And I'm not even talking about romance. Daryl has never had anyone do anything like that for him. Does he understand how profound an act that was? If he ever had any doubt as to how much Carol cared for him this should have erased it. And for Carol, this could also be a wake up call for her too. While being hard and cunning is good for survival, this is an opportunity for her to be vulnerable. To express what he means to her. Or to maybe even face any codependence she has with Daryl.

I feel bad what happened to Isabelle. It kind of feels like an FU to her character. As much as I love Caryl I'm not in support of fridging women for a ship or for man pain. I'm glad we got to see her and Carol together but I wish we could have seen them together a little longer. Again, there is a missed opportunity for some really interesting conversations.

I can't help but feel that this show is suffering under the leadership of male writers and showrunners. There's such nuance to be had here and it's being funneled down to base tropes. Genet is evil because her husband died. Carol is just now having flashbacks to something that happened a decade ago because we need her to grow emotionally and we can't think of another way to do that without mining her motherhood. Isabelle has to die because God forbid two adults actually have a conversation about emotions.

I honestly can't guess where this series is going right now. Every time I think I know what is going to happen something else happens instead. Normally this would be a good thing but here it just feels sloppy. Are they dicking around Caryl? Will they kill her? Or him? Or do they plan for this to go into more seasons? I haven't a clue. But it feels like whiplash, like they are trying to make the characters grow too quickly to fit an agenda without doing the real work people need to do. A hug from an old lady won't cure trauma.

I think mostly I just wish Carol and Daryl would have a real conversation before all this is over.

Anyway, that's my rant. I did like the old married couple joke in the car. And I'm glad Carol's not dead. But I hope we get to see some real connection.

#caryl #the walking dead #spoilers #personal

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ksiondzkanexkiii · 6 months ago

Text

LIST OF WORKS

Part of the story is on the wattpad (I originally put it there but I open to new pages), I put a link to every page where you can find the story. Choose where you like to read best No which history is not inserted yet on other pages such as Noebook or Tumblr

ONE-SHOT

OPEN/CLOSE

You can place orders for One-shot, I'll take anything. I'll write when I have time. Orders can be written on my profile or in pv messages (on any platform) If I didn't notice your message please don't be mad at me! I may have missed your message, or it was spammed.

List of characters on one-shot at the bottom

HISTORY IN PROGESS

GOD OF WAR

Heimdall x OC

,,Until Odin Separates us"

WATTPAD

NEOBOOK

One-shot coming soon

CALL OF DUTY

Captain John Price x oc

,,Maybe you're not a bad person"

TUMBLR VERSION

WATTPAD

NEOBOOK

John ,,Soap" MacTavish x oc

,,A piece of child"

WATTPAD

One-shot coming soon

TROLL HUNTERS TALES OF ARCADIA

ANGOR ROT

,,I will never leave you again"

TUMBLR

WATTPAD

NEOBOOK

One-shot coming soon

Plan for the next fanfics

☁️The Witcher universe (Game)

Vernone Roche, Iorweth, Eskel, Ge'els, Avallach, Eredin, Vesemir

☁️ Call of Duty universe

Alex Keller, Rudolfo Parra

☁️ Tales of Arcadia

Vendel, Angor Rot,

ONE SHOT

In the order put for whom is the one-shot (which character from the game/series/movie) briefly described what is to be included in the one-shot

You can ask for anything. I'll do my best to fulfill your requests.

ONE SHOT ORDERS FOR:

Heimdall - God of war Ragnarok Captain John Price - Call of duty Johnny "Soap" MacTavish - Call of duty

Avallach - The Witcher

Eskel - The Witcher

Vernon Roche - The Witcher

Eredin - Witcher

Ge'els - Witcher

Angor Rot - Troll Hunters Tales Of Arcadia

Gunmar - Troll Hunters Tales Of Arcadia

Bular butcher - Tales of Arcadia

Iorweth - Witcher

Alex Keller - Call of duty

Rudolfo Parra - Call of duty

Vendel - Troll Hunters Tales Of Arcadia

Vesemir - Witcher

Negan Smith - The walking dead

Captain Robert ,,Bobby" Nash - 911

Captain Owen Strand - 911 TEKSAS

Philip Graves - Call of duty

Doctor Greg House - Dr. House

Tim Bradford - The Rookie

John Nolan - The Rookie

David ,,Deacon" Kay - S.W.A.T

I will not write one-shot/stories about actors, I do not feel comfortable with it, I prefer to describe fictional characters who play/voice. Give me time to write one-shot/stories, I'm human and I get busy because I have school and other private things…

WILL NOT WRITE

Age differences (Too much age difference above <7 is no longer an option) Stories with Actors (Fictional Characters Only)

About me:

I come from Poland so English is not my first language, sorry for typos or incorrect grammatically sentences. I'm trying my best but I'm a man I've made mistakes

A head of great imagination and infinite. Keeping you in suspense and leading the reader into the good clouds of carefree life I have been writing since I was 10 years old, only now I gather my courage and insert my works Who knows? Maybe someday I will release my book on paper.

If you have questions find me here

Found me on instagram _kane_kii_ Tumblr: @ksiondzkanexkiii Neobook: https://neobook.org/ksiondzkanexkii/

or ask a question here (as you prefer)

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five-and-dimes · 2 months ago

Note

8, 17, and 27 for the fic ask game! Your choice which fics!

8. Did you cut something out of the outline or an early draft? What was it and why did you decide to cut it?

I'll do "Now I Lay Me" for this one because I was literally just talking to @pellaaearien about!

I had originally planned on doing a much longer opening showing Dream's "goodbyes" to everyone who later visits him before he goes to the garden. Ultimately I didn't want the opening to be THAT extensive- I really wanted to focus more on after he falls asleep. Plus I think I just got intimidated lol. The only "goodbyes" that made the cut were Hob, Lucienne, and Desire, and I think it ended up working well with just them.

17. Talk about the fic's ending. Why did you end it where you did?

I'll talk about "And When You Asked For Light/ I Set Myself On Fire" for this one because the ending still bothers me a bit :/ I originally wanted to have a much happier ending. I wanted (and still may go back someday to add a second chapter) to show a time jump where Dream starts visiting Hob in his dreams again and dismisses a dream that makes him uncomfortable, to show that he's grown and healed enough to treat himself as an equal in their relationship. Ultimately though, my brain simply would not cooperate, and I had been working on it for so long I just didn't have it in me to keep going at the time. Writing can be fickle like that.

27. Share a piece of lore you made up for the story.

I think I talked about this once before, but in "Mountain Sound" Hob very much has A Type lol. I never described Eleanor physically, but she was a very Morticia Adams-esque vampire, pale with dark hair and gothic aesthetic. Sound like anyone else we know? 😏

Fic Writer Asks!

#thank you for the ask! <3 #the sandman #my writing #ask game #fic writer asks

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icycoldninja · 2 months ago

Note

Hi there! I was wondering if you could write a story about Nero and the Reader where the Reader has a terminal illness. Whatever the story is, the Reader spends their last time with Nero.

Thank u and have a nice day!

I will! You have a good one too!

Time (Nero x Reader angst)

Tw: terminal illness; death.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Life had been nothing but a blur lately, which was odd, considering how little of it you had left. It started when the doctors entered your room, their gaunt faces cast even more in shadow. They spoke to you in soft, comforting tones, probably to try and ease the shock of it all when they told you that you had very little time left in this world.

You cried your heart out almost as soon as they left, and when Nero rocketed into your room with a huge bouquet of flowers and a "get well soon" card, you couldn't help but wail out the jarring news of your fate. The flowers hit the floor; the card drifted down to meet them, and the next thing you knew, you were being strangled with a hug.

From that moment onward, Nero hardly left your side. When he did, it was only because the nurses either forced him to leave by threatening him with security, or when a devil-related emergency arose. Otherwise, he'd be chained to your bedside, refusing to waste even a second.

Your morbid attitude was understandable for someone so close to death's door. Still, you felt that thinking this way--feeling this way--was wasting both your time and Nero's. You should be trying to enjoy what little time together you had left, instead of wallowing in self pity. But you har so many regrets, so many things you still wanted to do, so much life you wanted to live! Why did it all have to end now?! Why?! You wanted to stay a little longer!

"Babe," Nero began for the hundredth time that afternoon. "You alright? You spaced out again."

"I'm...fine," You lied, gripping the blankets tightly, desperately needing something to ground yourself with.

"I don't think that's true," Nero sighed, noticing your clenched fists. "Come on, get it off your chest, what's wrong?"

It took a great deal of effort to choke back the tears, but you managed, feeling the sorrow and anguish temporarily settle in your stomach, sure to bubble back up in a few moments.

"I...I don't want to die." You finally managed to squeak out. "I'm too young to die. I...want to keep living."

"I know," Nero replied, his voice brittle. "I don't want you to leave either. I'm...gonna...miss you. So fuckin' much."

At this point, all speech had left you, that clump of agony you swallowed earlier coming back to bite you sooner than you expected. You simply rested your head on Nero's warm shoulder and cried, taking solace in his comforting embrace, feeling just a little better now that you'd shared your anguish with someone.

"Shh," Nero consoled, pressing soft kisses to the top of your head, adjusting your pillow and helping you lie back down soon after. "I gotcha. I love you. I love you so much, more than you'll ever know."

"Love you too," You mumbled, as Nero pulled the covers up over your shoulders and planted another kiss on your lips.

"You should get some rest now," He suggested, brushing some of your hair away from your face. "I'll be right here when you wake up, don't worry," He added, when you opened your mouth to protest.

"Ok." You responded, obediently closing your eyes.

Nero chuckled to himself softly as he watched you drift off to sleep, admiring how content and relaxed you looked, the sorrow and anxiety of impending death now erased from your face. He hoped someday, preferably someday soon, you would wear that expression as you walked around Devil May Cry once again.

When the doctors told him the next morning that you'd passed away in your sleep, Nero was both devastated and thankful--thankful that at the very least, you died peacefully, free of any mental trouble, soothed in slumber.

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tb5-heavenward · 4 months ago

Note

Hello!!!!! Just read your fic 'Talented Amateurs' and its soooo totally awesome and the writing is AMAZINGGGG!!!

I completely understand if you're not planning on finishing it but was wondering if you had any ideas about the ending you'd thought of? Was super curious as to how the rest would pan out!!!

Thank you <333333

oh man, I am sorry for how absent I have been lately! I have actually spent the past few years moving home to Canada from the USA, and getting settled at home again with my family. I've been split between semi-single parenthood, immigrating my husband from his home country back to mine, and then three or four different jobs across two different countries, depending upon how one counts that, and the rigamarole of generally getting life back into a manageable state. I've been through so many big changes over the past few years that I more or less have to conceptualize just the whole first half of my thirties as having been about just Getting Settled.

As to TA and writing in general, I would love to get back to it someday, the nature of writing for me is that I do end up taking long breaks in order to Live Life for periods of a few years at a time, but I always do mean to come back. I don't want to promise anything, but theoretically things will start to settle back into a real and actual routine in the latter half of 2024, as I whittle my days back down to just working one job, taking care of one household, and having my kid back in school for the bulk of the day.

It's not the only big project or big property I squared myself up against, but it is one that has a very clear roadmap of a plot in my head, so no fear there. As far as Heavenward having been kind of a jumping off point for what I thought the most interesting aspects of TAG Season 1 were, talented amateurs was really the same as far as what I thought about where Season 2 left things, and where I would have gone with what I thought was the other most interesting aspect of the show as a whole, that is to say Penny/Gordon, and the notion of the whole cast as adults with relationships.

The most terrifying thing about TA as it exists right now is that it's maybe only about 30% of the story I ever intended to tell, which speaks to just how awful it is to have my brain. Basically, the intent was always for it to be three parts long, each about 200k words, one for each trimester of the pregnancy it centers around, and for that to unfold in ways that I thought would be entertaining. As a story it is genuinely never far from my head or my heart (I reread it myself with embarrassing frequency) and the broad strokes of the answer to that question of where it goes next actually hinge on whether or not Jeff Tracy is alive or dead in TA's version of the TAG universe, and I never quite settled that question for myself. After how long it's been though, I think I at least have enough perspective to know which way I'm leaning.

I'm very much due for a rewatch of the series, and hopefully I can carve out time sometime soon to make that happen.

As far as something that may or may not resemble a glimmer of hope for a future where I get my ass back in gear, here's a cut and the first half of the chapter I left off in the middle of writing, for whatever that's worth!

61 - knit and purl

Grandma Tracy hasn't had much to knit in a while, and her fingers ache slightly, her muscle memory for the task having gone somewhat to rust. There's no great call for hats and scarves in the South Pacific, no one particularly in need of cableknit when there's Gore-tex and nanofleece to be had. Still, it had all come back quickly enough, and the bag she'd brought with her is no longer full of knitting needles and yarn, but of a gift for her grandson.

Not, crucially, the one whose birthday it actually is, though she'd caught Alan's sideways glances and nods of approval during the flight over, so it's not as though she thinks he minds.

Alan is presently in the process of very carefully putting TB2 down in an empty patch of farmland alongside a dirt road stretching between two fields. The windbreak around the farmhouse is in sight, as is the hulking green pickup truck rumbling along the road towards their appointed landing coordinates. From over her shoulder, Grandma Tracy can feel the intensity of Virgil's silent attention where he leans forward in one of the passenger seats, not wanting to backseat drive, but equally not wanting Alan to fudge the landing. John's still down in the cargo bay, hopefully buckled in.

Grandma isn't worried, though she can see her youngest grandson's tongue caught between his teeth and poking out between his lips as he concentrates. When the Thunderbird finally settles gently to the earth below, she watches him let out a great big breath and grin to himself, and when he glances across the cockpit towards her, she can tell he's after reassurance, and she's only too happy to oblige. "Nicely done, kiddo."

"Not too bad," Alan agrees, though his smile widens at the praise. He pushes his seat back, unbuckling his harness and stretching before hoisting himself upright and clambering back into the cabin proper. "I'm gonna get changed. You okay, Virg?"

Virgil's slept most of the flight through, and could probably do to get up and move around himself, but with his leg still in a cast and TB2's interior not exactly friendly to those in a state of reduced mobility, he's going to need help getting up and out of the ship. "Fine, Al. Good job. Give Grandma a hand before you go."

Grandma Tracy waves Alan away as he turns around, already extending a hand in her direction. "No, no, I'll sit a minute. Go get in your civvies, sweetheart. We're not in a hurry."

Alan shrugs and reverses course, giving Virgil's shoulder a light punch as he passes by, heading for the lockers and showers tucked back behind the cockpit. Virgil looks mildly disgruntled to have been overruled, but his expression softens slightly when Grandma turns in her seat to give him a gently knowing smile. "Hard to be back in your bird and not be the one flying, hm?"

"It sucks."

There's a blunt, uncharacteristic bitterness there that's hard to miss, the past few weeks have been hard on Virgil, in no small measure because they've been hard on his brothers. The pressure release of Gordon's circumstances seems to have done little to improve Virgil's mood, and it's hard to tell if he wants attention drawn to his attitude. She suspects not, and doesn't comment, only nods sympathetically. "Well, we're all on the ground now, and you can take it easy for a while."

This gets no better answer than an non-committal grunt, and the fact that Virgil's been taking it easy for weeks now hangs in the air, obvious but unstated, and then dissipates into nothingness as the cargo lift hums from behind them, and John returns from the lower cargo bay, with the little plexiglass sphere that houses his AI companion held loosely in one hand. "Al getting changed?" he asks, stooping slightly as he moves through the cockpit, coming to the front just in time to offer his grandmother a hand to her feet.

"Showering first," Grandma informs him, and accepts his help to stand and stretch. "Help an old lady back down to terra firma, won't you, dear?"

"Of course," John answers immediately, and offers his arm in a solicitous and genteel fashion, at odds with the way he's often written off as cold and distant. There's a rarely seen streak of gentility in John, most often only seen by his grandmother, who has the fortune of being one of the few recipients of his softer affections. Her hand on his arm is steadied when his palm closes lightly over her fingers, and he contrives to help her aboard the cargo lift in a way that doesn't make her feel doddering and weak. "I'll be back for you in a minute, Virgil, unless Alan gets you first," John attempts to tell his younger brother, but the only response is another dismissive grunt, and this is lost in the hydraulic hum of the cargo lift.

"Never mind about him," Grandma says, tipping her head lightly against her grandson's shoulder when he sighs aloud. "Gordon will cheer him up one way or the other, mark my words."

#talented amateurs #some kind of creative doubt

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snek-panini · 1 year ago

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It's been a few weeks since I had new books to share, but I finally got photos taken of the newest ones so today's the day. Here, have a book:

This is Across Tides and Currents, a Good Omens siren AU by Sodium_Azide and @doorwaytoparadise (hi. I hope I tagged you right). My favorite thing about this AU is that, at its heart, it's about learning to communicate with someone who is so different from you that you can't even physically speak each other's language, and yet you've still got so much common ground that you find a way. It's way lighter and more fun than that description makes it sound, though, so go read it if that's your thing.

The cover on this is Lineco book cloth, scrapbook paper printed to look like leather, and blue foil htv. The foil was actually a nightmare to do. The first time I applied it, it wouldn't stick no matter what I did, and the bits that did stick peeled off as soon as I touched them. I had to peel them up very carefully, cut a new image, and try again. Thankfully it worked the second time but I don't know that I'll be using the foil type again unless there's no other way to get the color I want. The non-foil metallic was so much easier to work with.

More book photos under the cut!

I went with a coptic bind for this one for a few reasons. The first was that I wanted to try one on a quarto-size book to see if I could. I also wanted to try the mitered corners thing I did when I bound Strange Moons, and see if I could have the same effect on the interior. (That bit didn't work out so well; the front is fine but I mismeasured the inside and the lines didn't match up, so I trimmed some pieces of cardstock to cover that up. I really like the layered look though, so that's fine. It's quirky.) The third reason is that not long before I decided to bind this one, the authors published a new chapter after two years of no updates. That's the best possible reason to have to change plans, and the glueless bind means that if they ever do that again I can just redo the stitching to add more pages. Win-win.

Getting whimsical with title pages here. This took way longer than I thought it would, probably because I don't like graphic design and I did it in Word where I do the rest of my typesetting. Usually what I do is grab an image and put text around it or on top of it and then just play with fonts and sizes, but this time I drew the lines and then made the text follow them. This is the first time I've used the word art feature since...probably 2009? I'd forgotten how. I have no doubt there are better ways to do this but if I'd had to learn a new program at that point I'd have quit. And I do think it was worth it--it's cute and fun and looks about how I imagined it.

Couple of photos of the inside. Sorry the first one's blurry, I had someone trying to get my attention when I took these. The section break image came from rawpixel, I just made it gray instead of black so it's more subtle. The fic has very nice illustrations that I specifically got the artist's permission to print and then I failed to get any photos of them when I did my little photo shoot. They look very nice, though. I swear.

The last image is something I've started including in my latest books. I'm calling them "A Note from the Bookbinder" and it's basically just me talking about why I chose that story, the experience of reading it for the first time, stuff that's going on in the fandom, stuff about the process like the new chapter coming out as I was preparing to print. It's kind of...like marginalia? Part of fanbinding is preservation and that's linked to archival work, and something I know archivists love is marginalia and diaries. I don't like writing in my books and I've never found any fun in journaling, but sometimes that kind of context is important so I'm trying to add it. Someday, decades from now, I may not remember all the details, so I'm trying to preserve them. IDK, this got philosophical on me. Go read about mermaids now. Promise it's a good time.

#bookbinding #fanbinding #snek makes books #good omens #fic rec #i wanted to do this as a mermay project #that did not happen #i finished it in october #happy mertober

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digitalmidnight · 9 months ago

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Hey y'all

So I'm almost on spring break! Finals puts me in the mood to write for some reason. Long story short, my total Ao3 word count is 91,884. I therefore want to write 8,116 words to get to that sweet sweet even 100k.

Below are story ideas. One for Loonatics Unleashed, rest for Tom and Jerry. There's also a poll and I will write whatever wins. Poll ends around 2am, March 14th, PST

Loonatics Unleashed:

Solution [name pending]

"After another failed demonstration, Tech and Rev return to their home 3.5 minutes before the meteor falls, and their lives are changed forever." An expansion off this post. A different remimaging of Tech and Rev's relationship right before they get their powers. Based technically on the AU I had in my head, but I will write it with their canon powers and such. Rev will have his speed prior to powers, though. Oh, and some light angst as they figure out their powers, including Tech's :)

Tom and Jerry:

Rewrite/Remake: Don't fall in Love

"Jerry makes bet with Tom, the first one to fall in love loses." The rewrite will contain the same plot, but with updated writing, grammar and jokes. Don't fall in love has a mere 788 words. The updated version will be more expanded with lots more imagery.

Back again (Human AU + Ship):

"After many years of hyping it up, Tom finally takes Jerry to a multi-day event in his hometown. However, he begins to get cold feet as he remembers how unwelcoming it can be." A fic that takes place over 3 days involving almost comical amounts of miscommunication that takes place in a rural farm town.

[Warning! Potential to go over word limit. If it does, I'll post second place, get the pic, then post this]

Boxes (Human AU + Ship):

"Mentally, Tom puts everyone into boxes (stereotypes). Everyone is supposed to stay in their little box and be predictable. Tom can not put Jerry into a box, and Jerry seems to be dragging Tom out of his." Tom centric. Tom trying to overcome his own mental stereotypes while also coming to the realization he might have a crush.

Instincts (Canon + Implied)

Jerry hurt his legs and they are lost together in the woods. Tom has to get them out while also fighting his prey drive/hunger that gets worse the longer they are out there.

Last Night (Canon)

Tom irreparably breaks his owner's prized heirloom. Knowing he'll be punished no matter what he does, he decides to have one last night of fun. Tom centric and mostly about the feeling of dread that comes with making a mistake and fearing the consequences.

Amnesiacat (Canon + Friends)

5+1. 5 times one of them tries to remember, and 1 time they do. One of them (still picking who. Leaning towards Jerry) gets amnesia cartoon style. The amnesiac believes their relationship mimics the first cartoon, while their relationship has evolved to what it is in the later cartoons.

[Least developed idea mentally]

Winner of poll will be the fic written. The losers may or may not be written someday depending on hyperfixation/ideas being put into other fics.

For the Tom and Jerry fics: Human = they will be human. Canon = they will be cat and mouse. Ship = 100% romantic interest. Implied = it's possible. Friends = written as friends.

#writing midnight fanfiction #tom and jerry #loonatics unleashed #tumblr polls #ao3 #techrev #tech e coyote #rev runner #tom and jerry fic #tom cat #jerry mouse #tom x jerry

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cuubism · 2 years ago

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wip update

since I have a good number of actively-posting WIPs that some lovely people have been very kind about and invested in (and which I am very slow in updating), I figured it might be only polite to post a little update on where those are.

the melting press of the sun (dreamling) - Never intended this as a longfic, there may or may not be more than the 2 chapters it has now. I have a bit more written but it's disjointed and incomplete. I intentionally didn't leave any brutal cliffhangers on what I did post for this reason. We'll see if that one comes back.

Deja vu, Deja connu (dreamling) - The slowness in updating probably belies how deeply emotionally invested I actually am in this fic. Chapter three is just a major challenge--it's very long, covers a lot, has lots of fluff in the first part (fluff is kinda my Achilles heel, though not quite as much as wedding scenes, which this chapter also has) and a lot of heavy content later. But I have the whole fic outlined, a bunch of chapter 4 and 5 written in advance, and I'm super excited about the stuff that comes later, so it will definitely be finished, just... slowly. At least for this chapter.

In Waking Dreams (dreamling) - My current priority for an update. Chapter 4 just hit 10k and will probably hit 15k before its done (god help me), and I feel somewhat obliged to finish chapter 5 as well so I can post them in quick succession. Chapter 4 necessarily ends on a cliffhanger as it catches up to the events of chapter 3, but I feel bad about two cliffhangers in a row. But that one soon, I hope. (chapter 5 has a lot of the juiciest, long awaited scenes promised by the fic's premise, so I hope you will like that one when it's finally done 😅)

IRL (malec) - Fic that I have a tendency to get stuck on for 15 months, then write a ton of all at once, repeat. But I actually picked it up again the other day for the first time in ages, and I think I know all of the events of the chapter now, so who knows! Maybe I'll actually manage an update!

Subject: I Love You (malec) - Fic that I shamefully left with ONE CHAPTER remaining for a full year now. Honestly not sure why. Someday I will pick it up tho, I swear to god, or maybe I'll just cut the chapter short and make it an epilogue. (Actually maybe I do know why. It's another damn proposal/wedding scene. My absolute weakness and failure, I should stop writing them entirely)

mind & heart, body & soul (malec) - This fic haunts me, it follows me around 24/7 like a vengeful spirit that can't find rest. I can't wrangle it back into making any sense in my head, but for the sake of both my own sanity and the story's frankly frightening number of readers (I love you but you scare me), I've been trying to do one final chapter to offer some kind of wrap-up. Hopefully I can manage it.

Leviathan (malec) - My long held passion project that I have, in classic form, not touched in months. In fact I've been stuck on the same chapter I'm on now since probably 2020, when I first started writing the fic. This particular middle part of the fic is just vexing me to no end. At some point, I will decide on a course of action, inevitably flawed, and just power through that chapter (I say, for the 2nd year in a row). Why did I give this story two big villains again? Or think having a whole separate story arc in the middle of the fic was a good idea? Ah well.

in the palm of your hand (malec) - The one and only multichapter I finally caved and marked abandoned. I learnt my lesson with this fic about letting a oneshot expand into a completely unplanned longer fic. Boy did I...

----

I feel like I don't express it enough, but I really appreciate everyone who's ever read one of my fics, commented, kudos'd, chatted with me about them on tumblr, made podfics or art or translations, shared headcanons in my inbox or your own fics with me... I'm always blown away by the kindness and interest, and love getting to share little (or big!) stories with you and am so happy when you enjoy them ❤️ I love doing fandom with you.

#i'm bad at expressing emotion ack #my fics

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ashfae · 11 months ago

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Hi, and happy Yuletide, holidays and/or the end of the year! I'm once again wandering from askbox to askbox, asking questions from my fellow Good Omens fanfic writers.

How was your writing year? What's the favourite story you wrote? Yes, YOUR favourite of YOUR work! Feel free to gush about your creations, I'm looking forward to hearing all about it!

I wish you all the comments and kudos, and an exceptional new year! 🧡 Mirjam

Aww Mirjam thank you!!

My writing year really picked up at the end! Not just because I bashed out THREE (wheee!) fics as Secret Santa gifts, all of which I'm happy with, but because I'm working on Toccata and Fugue and Unusual Strings again. I desperately want to finish those two. (someday I will complete something that's not a oneshot, I swear to Crowley...) (Except of course I have another new series breathing down my neck gaaah no Satellite I do not have the spoons to turn you into a whole damn season 2 fix-it plot aughhhhh noooo....!! )(I may just write a "I am NOT writing a whole epic story because I can't but here are the key scenes that won't leave me alone" thing anyway to exorcise it though) ANYWAY the one I'm most happy about I'll babble about in another post because it now has ART WHEEEE, but my second favourite I think St Paul Survives, because it was so unlike anything I've ever written before. I want to experiment more with magic realism, I think. It'll probably turn incredibly over the top emotional and purple prose-y and break every rule my writing teachers of the past once drilled into me but I've decided I no longer care. ;)

Happy new year @mirjam-writes, may you keep writing wonderful things and inspiring those around you. <3 And thanks to absolutely everyone who's followed me, encouraged me, offered support and comments and kudos (especially A03 comments!), and been generally spiffykeen. It's been a tough year of accepting I'm now pretty permanently disabled and can no longer follow my librarian vocation, so my main determination for the coming year is to make sure my health is as good as it can be so brain fog stays at bay and I can write even if I can't move around. So it helps so, so, so much to know people are reading and enjoying what I do and share and are encouraged by the comments I leave, on a very real day-to-day basis. If I'm putting any more joy and laughter into the world, on however small a level, that keeps me going. THANK YOU. Fandom forever. <3

#good omens #good omens fanfic #my fic #mirjam is a dear and you all need to know that btw #also a terrific writer

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zyrafowe-sny · 10 months ago

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writing ask game: 16 and 19!

from this ask game

16. What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever used as a bookmark?

Umm... It has been A While since I've regularly read physical books (mostly read on Libby/other phone apps these days), but I've done the usual random scraps of paper in the past.

When I was a kid obsessed with Narnia in elementary school, I made special friendship bracelet bookmarks for my set that matched the colors of the covers. Some might still exist at my mom's.

I also remember buying bookmarks that looked like castle tapestries.

19. Tell me a story about your writing journey. When did you start? Why did you start? Were there bumps along the way? Where are you now and where are you going?

When I was a kid, I loved stories and reading and daydreaming and playing pretend (mostly on my own, as others aged out of it). I enjoyed my elementary school creative writing assignments, and started writing poems and stories in my free time too. That continued through high school, and around high school I also got into fanfic (mostly as a reader, but I wrote fan poems, short snippets, and a ficlet/one shot or two that I never shared with anyone else).

In early college, I finally posted a tiny bit of fanfic (on website that thankfully no longer exists), but I had an unfinished WIP that hung over my head for years and years. (It wasn't even that long a story! It just became an impossible task.)

And then there was over a decade of basically nothing. I wrote for college/grad school and for work, but papers, memos, PowerPoints, emails, etc. are not exactly creative writing.

The Owl House rewired my brain, as they say. It started out as a show I started watching mid 2022 while folding laundry, but in October 2022 I started bingeing in earnest. I was still finishing Season 2B when Thanks to Them dropped, but once I caught up... oooph. Immediate rewatch. I read some fanfic, but for the first time in over a decade, I was itching to write. I started with one drabble — 100 words seemed like a realistic goal — which turned into a drabble sequence. Then I posted a one shot a few days later, then another one shot, and... After having an AO3 account with zero posted words of my own from August 2013 to mid October 2022, I now have over 50k up and more in drafts.

These days, I consider myself a fanfic writer in it for the long haul. I know that life responsibilities/health/etc may interfere with writing from time to time, but I've found my way back before and I am confident that I can do it again. I am a little anxious about having multiple multi-chapter WIPs up on AO3 — there was a reason I initially intended to stick to one shots/one shots in series — but fanfic writeblr helps immensely. When in doubt, I write drabbles.

I am in zero rush to focus on writing original fiction, but I have decades of life yet. Who knows — maybe I'll write a short story collection or a novel someday for fun, but I'm not nearly as passionate or dedicated (or talented!) as my friends/acquaintances who are writing/making art professionally. That's where I am with music too — I love being part of a community choir and I hope music will always be a part of my life, but it's a hobby. And as much as I desperately wish we supported full-time artists better, I also wish more people could just "dabble" in creative/artistic endeavors (time and money being big gatekeepers for hobbies too).

#thanks for the ask!#sometimes I write #ask game

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clovers-in-despair · 6 months ago

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Hey Clover. Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Advian, but you can call me Ade for short. Nice to meet you. I saw your DR3 Rewrite/AU and I gotta say, I'm in love with it. I love everything from how you have Human Chiaki survive her execution (as well as the story behind her survival and what she does after she recovering from her execution injuries; I especially like how you integrated her into UDG & Hope Arc, as well as showcasing her reaction to the events of SDR2 through monitorization, and getting to reunite with both Hajime and the rest of the DR2 cast in the end), Junko corrupting the DR2 cast into despair through the exploitation (along with emotional & psychological manipulation) of their weaknesses & backstories instead of using Chiaki's death & the brainwashing video to force them into despair (as I too am not keen on either of those aspects; not only with the brainwashing just reeking lazy & bad writing, but also with Human Chiaki being used as a plot device, and I heavily dislike characters being used as plot devices, rather than feeling like their own characters) + them falling into despair individually rather than all together, and showcasing the cast actually being affected by the events of Despair Arc & SDR2 and trying to heal and recover from them. I also like the 3D models you have for Chiaki, as well as the fake name you gave her, Miyuki Watanabe. I find it to be a very cute and adorable name. So much so that I almost named my DR OC/Self-Insert Miyuki after your version of Human Chiaki's fake name, before ultimately deciding to name her Hikaru Enoshima, the Ultimate Social Media Star and adoptive younger sister of Junko Enoshima & Mukuro Ikusaba.

If you don't mind, I have some questions I'd like to ask you in regards to your DR Rewrite/AU.

May I have your permission to do a review on your DR3 Rewrite/AU post for my Advian Reads & Reviews content (which in case you're curious about, AR&R is reading review series where I read something, like fanfiction for example, while also doing a review on it at the same time, giving my thoughts on whatever I'm reviewing as well as potentially even sharing my own stories)?

Do you plan on making a post on why you don't like DR3's storyline? Just a heads up, I'm not asking you this to make upset you or anything (and if I did, then I apologize in advance). I'm just asking out of curious and also cuz I'd love to learn your thoughts regarding your opinions on DR3 and why you aren't a fan of its storyline.

Do you plan on making more posts of your Danganronpa AU? I ask because I'm wondering if there's anything else you'd rewrite in your AU, especially in DR3's Future, Despair, & Hope Arc aside from what you mentioned in the post itself, like the stuff regarding Human Nanami's survival + reunion with the rest of the DR2 cast and the way Class 77-B is corrupted into despair. And also, because I would love to learn more about this DR AU of yours.

Does your Danganronpa AU have a name? If so, what is it called? If it doesn't have a name, then that's ok. I understand if it doesn't have a name beyond "Danganronpa 3 Rewrite/AU", as I too have Reimagines/AUs of mine that don't have names to them and are simply titled "[insert piece of media here] Reimagined AU". Although I will admit, I do hope to give them proper names someday. So, no need to apologize or worry if it doesn't have a name. I completely understand and get where you're coming from.

Do you still plan on turning your DR3 Rewrite/AU into a fanfiction someday like you mentioned in the post or are you no longer planning on doing that? And if so, what website would you post it on if you did end up writing it out (Tumblr, AO3, Wattpad, Quotev, etc)? Not trying to pressure you or anything. Again, just asking out of curiosity as I would love to see your DR3 rewrite be written into a fanfiction. Not to mention that this line from the post, "Maybe one day I’ll write fanfiction for this!", encouraged me to post my ideas & outlines for my Reimagines/AUs on my side blog @letsreimagine and someday write them out into fanfiction (when I feel like I've leveled up and gained more experience as a writer, including in terms of fanfics and media rewrites) and post them on writing websites like Wattpad, AO3, & Quotev. Maybe even someday adapt them into something like an audio drama, animatic series, or reimagine/au videos on YouTube (when I create my YT channel in the future).

And those are my questions. In regards to gaining your permission to review your DR3 Rewrite/AU, if you do grant permission, great! I'll be sure to credit you and give you a shoutout too if you do. And if you don't, then I'm content with that and will understand and respect the reason behind your refusal, whatever that reason may be. Again, it's nice to meet you Clover and I hope we can become friends. If you'd like to, that is. Feel free to respond back to me whenever you get the chance. Thank you, hope you have a wonderful day/afternoon/evening + weekend, and hope you enjoy your Easter this weekend as well too. 🤗💕❤️🧡💛💚💙💜💖💕🤗 🐰🥚🐥💐☀️

Hello!! I know you sent this moooonths ago but I've been MIA from Tumblr for a long time. You have permission to do whatever you like with the idea! I don't think at this time I plan to do anything more with it, maybe in the future. Though.. reading this has brought the entire thing back to the forefront of my mind so we shall see. I am so thrilled you enjoyed the concept so much. I hopped on Tumblr at 1am after not using it in forever.. never expected to see this. I lit up in excitement.

I never thought about naming the AU and would definitely be open to suggestions.

Chiaki deserved better. In writing. In her story. Everything. She is such an important character and I'm disappointed they rushed through her real life counterpart. She was important to everyone, but they failed to really show us why in a way that truly tugs on the heartstrings.

Sorry, I know this so all over the place!! If you're still interested in doing anything with the au, you have my full permission!

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oldbutnotyetwise · 1 year ago

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Unexpected Gifts

I have said this before and it bears repeating here, every good thing that happens has some bad attached to it, and every bad thing that happens has some good attached.

As I am writing this I have crossed the one year anniversary since my diagnosis of ALS was confirmed at Sunnybrook Hospital. Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis, a rare neurological disease that affects motor neurons in the brain or spinal cord that affect voluntary muscle movement. Think of it like when you go to sleep, except in my case parts of my body are going to sleep never to wake again. I’ve lost the use of my legs, I’m losing the use of my left hand, and my ability to speak is being impaired. Eventually the muscles that allow me to breath and swallow will stop working. In some cases ALS also results in frontal lobe dementia, so your two options are having a healthy mind trapped inside a non-working body, or dementia where you still are trapped inside of a non-functioning body while you have no understanding of what is going on, or the burden you are placing on your caretakers.

So about now you should be saying, how can there be anything positive about having ALS? What good can possibly come from this Death Sentence? Well let’s ponder that question and see what we can come up with.

When given a terminal diagnosis I had a rather drastic shift on my perception of time. Prior to the diagnosis, I didn’t give time much thought, foolishly I thought that my time was almost like grains of sand on a large beach, almost endless. Once I received my diagnosis suddenly time became like the water in a canteen, something not to be wasted or used foolishly. So you are wondering why is this a good thing, well it is because I have been taught the lesson of Mindfulness. When you have lots of something it is hard not to take it for granted. When you have something that is limited and quickly running out then you appreciate it a lot more. You suddenly realize what an amazing gift time is. You suddenly have the wisdom not to waste your time on foolish things. You don’t waste your time on bad books, bad movies or with people you don’t want to spend time with. If you want to do something and you can, than you do, no longer putting things off for some day in the future because now you know that someday may not come. I wish that I had learned this lesson about the value of time much earlier in my life, but am grateful that I did learn it eventually and in turn have worked much harder at enjoying what remaining time that I have left.

Living in Canada, or in this case Ontario I have a government run Health Plan. On top of this I also have a benefit plan from my workplace until I am 65. I will spare you numerous sad stories of people in other provinces, or in the U.S. who were waiting for approval for the ALS drugs and after two years of waiting they finally get the letter advising they had been approved,,,,the day before they enter a Hospice. People who live in remote areas of provinces where they are hours and hours away from the nearest ALS Clinic, or even any medical assistance. We are now living just over an hour from the ALS Clinic at Sunnybrook Hospital in Toronto, generally accepted to probably be the best one in Canada. I never really understood what a gift the pubic health care system was prior to this, but I do recognize how lucky I am in comparison to so many others.

I would guess that my ALS medications probably cost somewhere between 200 and 300 thousand dollars a year. My benefit plan is presently paying for my drugs, can you imagine not having coverage for drugs that could possibly help you? Where you have to decide between selling or mortgaging your home and draining your bank accounts to buy your medications or choosing to go without. Where medical decisions are based on dollar amounts instead of what is best for you? I am grateful for the gift of a benefit plan that allows me to take these expensive drugs in the hope that they are helping me.

I have met so many amazing people in the medical field since the first day I attended Sunnybrook. The entire team at Sunnybrook who compassionately care for their hundreds of patients, knowing that everyone they are caring for will eventually lose their fight, ALS remains undefeated. As well the nurses, ALS Society, and Community Care Team who all make this horrible disease a little more tolerable. I am grateful for the gift of all the caring people who work hard to look after me in such a kind, caring and compassionate way.

A disease such as ALS is expensive. The amount of medical or assistive equipment can be prohibitive, says the guy waiting for his $32,000 electric wheelchair. The items we have around the house are a collection of things people have given or loaned us, we have purchased new or used, or that we have been reimbursed for through my benefit plan. There is something called the ALS Loan Cupboard where people donate used medical equipment, let’s be honest, probably after their loved one dies. I presently have a walker, electric lift chair and an electric hospital bed all loaned to me from the loan cupboard. The list of medical equipment I require is constantly growing and already my life would be unbearable without it, so I am grateful for the gift of all this equipment that I have access to that helps me make it through my days.

I will wholeheartedly acknowledge that I find myself surrounded by the best possible friends. These are friends that take time out of their very busy lives to visit, or call, or email or set up video calls. Somehow the whole world is going on at an extremely hectic pace while my life is coasting to a stop. Most of the world continues on riding the merry go round of life, but a few people realize something important is going on and they are here for me. Together we exchange old memories, share embraces, shed a few tears and just generally stand by each other. When you are travelling a dark scary path and suddenly you find a trusted friend at your side you will notice your path becomes a lot less dark and scary. I am grateful for the gift of dear, treasured friends.

I have my dear sweet wife Robin here by my side from sun up to sun down working so very hard to look after me. I don’t think anyone else has someone as amazing as her, and some people are forced to go through this nightmare alone, which I can’t even begin to imagine how impossibly hard that would be. I am grateful for the gift of my loving wife Robin.

In Canada there is Medical Assistance In Dying, also known as MAID. If you have a terminal illness, you can fill out a form, meet with a Physician who should agree with your decision and sign off on the form. Then a minimum of three months later you meet with a second doctor go through the process again at which time you can select a day you want to end your life. You can change your date or back out at any time, and yes if you are wondering it is a surreal experience going through this process. I have friends travelling the same path as I am in the United States who would have to travel to another state to end their lives, as if this process isn’t difficult enough they have to travel to a strange place hundreds of miles away from their home and friends to end their suffering. I am grateful for the gift of living somewhere that I am treated as kindly as a beloved pet who is allowed to leave this world when their struggle to live becomes too much for them. Leaving this world in a kind compassionate manner, surrounded by loved ones, finally able to rest after fighting the good fight.

So I encourage you to always remember, every good thing that happens has bad attached, and very bad thing has good attached. So next time something bad happens to you I encourage you to look for the good. Yes you may have to look hard, yes it may be hard to find but I assure you it is there. Then once you find those good things I encourage you to focus on them rather than the bad things, I think that will help make your journey a bit easier.

#als #unexpected gifts #gratitude

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