#may continue if I can recall whats in my draft

[demiesop]

I lost my draft and I forgot what I wanted them to talk about but I remember it's something about unresolved guilt

and an excuse to draw Sebastian

[delirious-donna]

The Demon King & His Princess [Sebastian Michaelis]

an: I’ve had this sitting in my drafts for months and it’s time I had a clear out. This demon could tell me stories any night he wants…

pairing: Sebastian Michaelis (demon king AU) x female reader (princess)

warnings: nightmares, storytelling turned steamy, fantasy AU, smut, NSFW

Masterlist

The darkness was pure—heavy and suffocating. It wrapped like a noose around your slender throat and squeezed tighter and tighter. You couldn’t draw air, couldn’t struggle from the iron-tight hold.

You jolted upright. Fire burned in your lungs as if you had been suffocating in your sleep and you touched feverishly at your neck but felt nothing amiss. Disorientation made your head spin, eyes scanning back and forth in an attempt to make sense of your surroundings and what had happened.

In bed.

You could feel the mattress beneath your backside and legs, the heavy weight of a rich duvet covered your midriff. That was at least a comfort. If the only one you could find. The beat of your heart ached against your ribs. It hurt to take each shuddering breath as if you had broken the surface of icy waters. The air froze in your chest, and you clutched blindly at the sweat-dampened nightgown in desperation.

Your saviour was not far…

A presence at your side made you jump anew, but soon your shoulders sagged with relief as two familiar hands held you tight. The touch was cool and soothing. You let yourself be drawn into a strong body whilst you continued to tremble like the last autumn leaf.

Slowly, and with the utmost care, you were lowered back to the sheets. Soft-spoken words sounded distant, called over the crashing waves of your fear but as the seconds ticked on, they became clearer.

“Come back to me… can you hear me, little one? You are mine, come back.”

Sebastian.

It was Sebastian who pressed his face into your hair and whispered gentle yet firm words into your ear. It was he who wound his arms around your chest and lodged his body tightly against your back. His warmth chased away the shivering chill from your skin and the even beat of his heart that settled your own into a normal rhythm.

“Sebastian…”

“I’m right here,” he soothed in his low authoritative voice, barely above a whisper. Deft fingers stroked the apple of your cheek. “Did you have a bad dream?”

Your chin tucked low into your chest, a shy shame washing over you for goodness knows why. A nightmare was out of your control after all, so why try to deny it? Sebastian slid a finger between your chin, bringing your face back up to his. At last, you nodded slowly and averted your eyes.

“Want to talk about it?” He asked.

Whatever had caused such a blinding panic had already mostly melted away, the memories new fleeting and entirely disjointed. In honesty, you couldn’t quite recall the events of the dream, other than remembering the sensation of being choked of breath.

“I… can’t remember. I think I’d rather forget.”

You pressed your eyes shut, snuffing out the lone candle on the nightstand that illuminated the darkness of the bedroom. At heart you wished away the sense of lingering panic that beat just beneath the surface, threatening to surface at the smallest jolt.

The Demon King hummed a faint melody, a tune that seemed reminiscent of one you had heard many years prior.

His long dexterous fingers massaged at your skin through your silky nightdress, the midnight black fingernails a stark contrast against the pure white.

“Shall I tell you a tale? It might help you to… forget.”

In your disarray, you missed the faint trace of heat in his voice. Had you noticed, would your answer have been any different? Not likely. Be that as it may, you accepted his offer regardless and his smile was not merely comforting any longer—not that you could see it with your face tucked into his chest.

With a soft sigh, you rolled back your shoulders to better settle yourself into his protective embrace. The flicker of the candle painted long shadows upon the nearest wall, and you glanced up at your handsome beau without a trace of fear. His hair fell in a black curtain around his face, eyes closed as if at rest–although you knew better–and his smile had returned to docile.

“Once upon a time there was a beautiful princess who loved to roam the lands her family ruled over. Her curiosity was mischievous and might have been considered reckless for she often wandered unaccompanied.”

Sebastian spoke in soft dulcet tones, and you wondered where this story was headed. It sounded rather familiar, intimately familiar…

“One day,” he continued, aware of your narrowed eyes aimed in his direction but ignoring it in favour of speaking calmly, slowly. “The princess came upon another person out in the forests near her home.

Yet, to her bewilderment he was not a person, but a Demon. She should have been scared, fearful of a creature she had been warned was wicked with only evil in their heart, but she wasn’t.”

He smiled indulgently. Reminiscing fondly at how brave you had been that day. In honesty, he would call it foolish, but luckily for you, this particular Demon was instantly enamoured with you.

“Instead, the sweet yet naïve princess befriended the Demon and soon they would spend hours traversing the lands with the Demon showing her places she didn’t even know existed. Sharing secrets that his kind would likely condemn him for brazenly putting his trust in the young mortal.”

Butterflies erupted in the depths of your stomach, flitting around in energetic bursts at the memory of those long-ago days. The hours that easily slipped into days, the warm sunshine on your face and the excitement of newly discovered secrets. You would forever be grateful for the trust Sebastian placed into the cradle of your hands, the knowledge he chose to share when you warned it might be frowned upon.

He pressed a kiss to your temple as if he sensed your gratitude. “It wasn’t long before an attraction grew between the pair, and in short, the Demon was besotted by the exquisite beauty of the princess and the purity of her heart and soul. At this realisation, he revealed himself as not simply a Demon, for he was the Demon King. A Demon King in love with a mortal princess.”

You squirmed against his strong body, heat warming your cheeks. Sebastian wouldn’t allow you to turn in his arms, tucking you further into his hold. He planted his hands on the soft curves of your waist whilst he continued to purr his story into your ear.

“Sebastian…”

He shushed you softly, his lips traversing the gentle slope of your shoulder to press a gentle kiss to your sweet-smelling neck. You could feel his smile against your skin, knowing and growing wider when your pulse began to race faster.

“The Demon King rejoiced in the knowledge that his attraction and love were returned in equal measure, and the night he first took her to his bed was a night he would never forget… Not in all his long years of existence had a night so special occurred and might never again.”

You could only moan, the sound long and drawn out when his hands roamed your plush curves. One palm stroked up and down your side until the fairly modest hem of your nightgown was drawn high enough that his fingertips could ghost lazy patterns on your skin.

The other cupped your breasts lightly through the shimmery fabric, his warm breath caressing and causing you to shiver deliciously from his attention. These shivers were different to the ones caused by your earlier nightmare—now long forgotten. They tingled pleasantly and led to a growing wetness between your clenched thighs.

“The princess was supple beneath his touch and reciprocating to his actions. Despite the power he wielded, the Demon was gentle in his exploration. He whispered of the naughty deeds he wished to enact, and of how he desperately wanted to open her up like a blooming flower to bathe in her arousal. When his touch reached her most intimate area, the Demon King had growled aloud, finding her wet and wanting. His restraint tested in a way he hadn’t experienced to date.”

Sebastian’s melodious words mirrored his actions to perfection. A low growl that sounded like distant thunder echoed within his chest, and you gasped—thrilled. One bold finger swiped over the seat of your cotton panties and found how your lust had soaked it through.

Your eyelids fluttered shut, hips undulating eagerly. Waiting… wanting… just like the princess.

You reached out an arm, blindly searching behind and finally sinking your hand into his long lustrous hair. You played with the strands, tugging them impishly until your fingers delved deeper so your nails could scratch against his scalp.

“His cock had throbbed for the princess, straining against his undergarments and desperate to find solace in her tempting heat. Of course, he had to ensure she was properly prepared for such an intrusion,” he whispered, pausing for a moment to tug on your earlobe with his teeth.

His hips drove upwards, making you painfully aware of how hard and ready he was right now, never mind in the story. A dark chuckle floated to your ear; the amusement halted the subtle glide of your lower half, but it was only a moment until he guided your hips back into a slow rhythm against his clothed cock.

“The Demon King had ripped through the princess’s panties to her shrieks of surprise, for surely she had not known the strength of the male she had allowed to touch and taste her virgin body.” You groaned in memory. How nervous you had been, but so very ready, almost desperate.

“Her breasts were perfection, filling his palms exactly. With pebbled nipples so sensitive to the fingers that played with them, rolling the delicate buds between finger and thumb before tasting them in turn. A firm hand supported her spine which she arched to press herself further into his greedy mouth. The suckling sensation made her dizzy and mewl like a cat in heat. He turned her skin sticky and shiny with his spit, biting and nipping at such tender flesh until the princess tugged boldly on his mane of hair.”

Your fingers twitched in mischievous want to fist his silken black hair, to haul his sinful lips to yours and silence the story in favour of creating a new one. “The lovers spent an age exploring their bodies, learning what made them moan and what caused their toes to curl in delight. When it was time to taste her sweetness, the Demon King felt like a youngster again, worried he might come undone before he could take her fully. Never had he seen a pussy so pretty and perfect–made for him alone.”

On these words, Licht finally rolled you to your back and let your lips unite. The yearning between you was palpable, your fingers grasping and clutching at his strong shoulders until you were twisted like ivy around his lithe frame.

The brush of his cock–still concealed behind his pyjama trousers–against your bare slit was electrifying. The ripped cotton from where his finger had pushed through the fabric clung to your slickness, and you did indeed rub on him like a cat in heat.

Sebastian worked his hand between your bodies, spreading your open and smearing the sticky strands of your arousal over your skin until he was toying with your jittering little clit. His mouth was hungry slanted atop yours, devouring and commanding the space you shared.

You weren’t quite the shy little flower he described in the story; experience had strengthened your resolve and bolstered your confidence. Enough so that you sucked his bottom lip between your own, drawing the skin taut before releasing it with an audible pop. He growled low in his throat, admiring your shuttered eyelids and smug little smile.

Gods, how you wanted him, but he broke away, much to your frustration, to continue his story. A slow methodical finger circled your soaked cunt, grinning when you clenched around nothing but air.

“The enamoured Demon softly stroked over the princess’s unsullied silky folds, so pretty and engorged from the pumping blood of her desire. Slick rushed to meet his fingers and he couldn’t resist sucking one into his mouth for a taste. With that, he was addicted. He knew that he would never get enough.”

Sebastian held back a moan as he spoke the words. He could feel the weight of them, the truth that lay behind each syllable. To this day, he wasn’t certain you understood the magnitude of his love. He was a creature who most believed incapable of loving anyone but themselves, but he could find no other way to describe how he felt about you.

“Please…”

Eyes of regal burgundy flashed in the dark room and it shook a breathy whine from your throat. On a slow thrust, two fingers slide inside to stroke your velvet walls. His honeyed voice deepened, one forearm braced directly next to your head whilst a knee spread your legs further apart and his fingers fucked you with strokes that quickened hastily. Sebastian was losing control and that tightened the desire in your belly all the more.

“Mm, that’s it. You’re sucking me in, can you feel that? Such a greedy pussy, you want something other than my fingers, beloved?” he asked with a smirk.

You rolled your neck against the fluffy pillows, sinking deeper and deeper into decadent pleasure. “Mhm, please,” you admitted, biting deep into your bottom lip.

“The Demon King brought the beautiful princess to orgasm using only his mouth and dexterous fingers. Stretching out her tight walls in readiness for his throbbing cock. How he had hissed when she had tentatively touched it, dainty fingers encircling the girth and giving an exploratory pump with her fist.”

As he narrated, you complied with the words and reached down to free him from the confines of his sleepwear. Your thumb swiped through the beads of arousal and used it to coat his shaft.

Sebastian was heavy in your hold, a groan echoing from the depths of his chest. “Do–do you remember how the story ended?” he asked, thrusting into your grip at the same pace he thrust his slick-soaked fingers into your pussy.

“Correct me if I’m wrong,” you managed, sounding far more composed than you actually felt, “But I’m certain that the devastatingly handsome Demon King–you missed that part out–made love to the princess until the sun broke over the horizon.”

With ease, Sebastian withdrew his fingers and sucked them into his mouth until they were clean. His weeping cockhead notched at your entrance and your hips strained to force him inside.

“Mm, indeed. Let’s reenact that part, shall we?”

His pelvis met yours in one forceful push. Your spine bowed off the mattress when his head dipped to suckle on your pert nipples through the taut satin of your gown.

Your eyes roamed his handsome face, his expression veiled as it often was, but it slipped when your legs wound his lean waist to push him even deeper. The mask dropped to expose the control he was struggling to hold on to. The Demon King was leashed to your hand, a power he had never given to anyone else in his centuries of existence. He was yours as much as you were his.

Sebastian remained true to his word; he worshipped you exactly as he had on your very first time together. Nothing could truly portray what had transpired on that fateful night, the unity and promises made, but it still brought tears to your eyes to be reminded. Your Demon lover stole the air from your lungs, the sanity from your mind and the love from your heart.

From that night forward, you made a conscious effort to ask for more bedtime stories and not only on the occasions you had nightmares.

What wicked words could fall from the prettiest of lips…

[insidemyrottenbrain]

Henry, meus cupitus - TSH

TW: gore, toxicity

Where do I even begin? I should start by mentioning that this little piece was inspired by multiple books including but not limited to: "The Meek One" by Dostoyevsky, "Lolita" by Nabokov, "American Psycho" by Bret Easton Ellis and "The Iliad" by the one and only Homer.

This is the toned-down version. I felt that the original was much too explicit to post, but nevertheless it will continue to live in my drafts. Keep in mind, that this version may still be incredibly violent for a part of the audience. Read at your own risk.

Henry, meus cupitus, the last season of the year. My sin, my soul. Henry Winter marching down the banks with his umbrella and books.

He was Henry when we spent our weekends at Francis’ country house, rowing on the lake, finding out about the moon landing. Henry Winter was him, spreading around campus like a dark November mist or in Julian’s attentive green eyes. But he was and still is Henry Marchbanks Winter ever since my ears listened to the convoluted story of the scar; ever since he started forgetting the Latin diary in my sight; ever since our ἕνωσις.

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, what right have you to judge me? No one should speak of love in the third person, for it is intangible, running so differently through our bones, that it mimics our soul’s very rhythm and so drowns each of us with unique scents, extorted from the desire for which we spill blood. And yet, here it is, my poor heart standing trial for its depth. Little lords and gentlewomen of the jury, I urge you to be magnanimous and instead ask yourself: how will I ever stay behind all on my own? 

We met at Hampden. Our fates intertwined unexpectedly, gloriously, under the pressure of Julian’s classes and consequently under his guiding gaze. We were each other’s equal, neither of us possessing the ability to surpass the other. Though our views on matters weren’t, generally speaking, that different we still somehow managed to find little details so insignificant that the vast majority forget. What I believed in he stood against. What he stated I debated. A continuous chase between cat and mouse, except neither of us hid in walls. Oh, please, listen, how beautifully we were at each other’s throat with winged words whispered by Pallas Athene herself! With every class, my desire to stomp on his toes, to cut out his tongue and compare it to mine, to reduce him to absolute submission grew. As I’m sure did his. My only wish, which Zeus who drives the storm clouds later granted me, was to have him under my despotism. It was sickly divine and it consumed my insides raw. 

Fate is funny in its own sadistic way. And so, despite everything, despite every warning that I’m sure his precious guts gave him, he fell in stride with me. Dangerous, obsessive me. Slowly, with every argument we lost ourselves in the other’s carefully crafted web, our souls moving to do their twisted dance. We couldn’t stop and certainly, we did not want to stop mixing that which made us two. The knot of selves was but a mere preamble to the waltz of unification we performed under the influence of all the gods above. 

Now, most esteemed jury, that you understand the extent of our strange relationship, I can begin to narrate the following events: his demise (and the attempt of mine). I’ll tell it as I myself see fit and understand. That’s the horror of it for me, that I understand everything.

On October 11th of a certain year which I fail to recall, we were sitting against each other on the couch in his apartment, talking, quietly laughing, wasting our minds with wine as one does during the exam period. Take note, that Henry is reserved while his usual self, however, alcohol slightly enables the more emotive side of him. Through our conversation, he grew serious. I didn’t have to ask I knew he was going to tell me.

“You ruin me. You must know since you keep doing it.” Henry mumbled under his breath.  “You lurk through the darkest depths of my mind,” I looked at him, his expression a mirror of mine “I wander dazed, like Hades’ dead undead, unable to form a single coherent thought.” He scoffed. “You are my worst nightmare.” 

I remember closing my eyes for a moment. Knowing he was suffering because of me filled me with bliss. I could see that he was terribly irritated with his emotions, but I wasn’t going to soften anything. Oh no, on the contrary, seeing him in such a state made me deliberately want to intensify it. And then I opened my eyes only to find him, him, holding a knife to my throat.

“This has to stop.” He said solemnly, yet my gaze fell on his shaky hand. “I don’t want to plague my rationality further with you.”

I knew that all he had was his mind. And so, when I felt the sharp metal press against my neck; when I saw his determined, icy gaze I knew I had to twirl around him again. To prove to him that we are far from equals, that I am the sublime.

“You don’t have to love me.” I started out almost desperately, though it was only a trick, I assure you.  “Don’t answer me anything, don’t take any notice of me at all, and only let me look at you from the corner, turn me into your thing, into your little dog..” I whispered.

With his thumb, he wiped away the wetness falling from my eyes (not tears). He was distracted and so I gripped his arm turning it away from my throat and towards his chest. He reacted and used his force to push it in my face. I stopped it with my free hand just before the tempting edge deflated my round eye and all the liquid from it spilled on my face. However, doing so, Henry did severe my ring finger. It ripped from the last jagged skin and juicy flesh that held it tied to my stained hand, fell on the sofa and rolled down onto Henry’s oriental rug with a barely audible thump, all while leaving dark red stains behind. I got up and used my body to push him to the ground. I step on my lost finger. It lets out a crack. He drops the knife due to the force and I get my greedy hands on it. He hurried to get up but I straddled his hips and kissed him, pushing my wet tongue into his warm mouth. I lost myself in it and I only snapped out of my daze when I felt his thick blood staining my skin. Drip, drop, little ladybugs everywhere. 

I opened my eyes only to find his, or rather my, icy eyes still staring at me. What was left of my finger I dipped in blood and licked it. The glorious taste of his fluids mixed with mine exploded on my tongue and a voice whispered. And I believed it blindly, madly, terribly.

You all whom you believe yourself above me, pitiless hermaphrodites, inquire endlessly about the location of his body. It is not good manners to insist. Settle down, brutes, I’ll give you a clue just so you’ll leave me alone to mourn.

I listened to the voice that sang so sweetly in my ear. That is where his body is, in eternity with me.

Pass judgment on me, for that is why you’re here. However, you all are witnesses to my ‘crimes’, so judge yourself too, with the guidance of the Gods, for every accusation that leaves your wretched lips is a cast of your own dark depths. Answer if you are without sin: is it wrong to prove yourself to the one you love?

[judesmoonbeauty]

The Past Records: Ellis & Jude Chapter 1

Fan translation only. Not 100% accurate. Please expect grammatical errors. Cybird owns everything. Feel free to reblog, but please do NOT post my translations elsewhere.

Translation notes are marked with ***

We met four years before we entered Crown, I believe.***

The night I drifted into the town of London, I passed by a bridge looking for a place to stay and saw a man looking up at the moon.

I looked at his empty-looking profile and thought he was going to fall straight into the river when he finished his cigarette.

So I just had to ask the question.

Ellis: Are you happy?

Jude: What's the point if I'm happy or not?

Ellis: I'll make the happiest moment of you're life....last forever.

Jude: Ha. What is that? Are you crazy?

Jude: The happiest I've ever been in my life. Maybe-

Victor: Working again? I heard about it beforehand, but you are very busy.

It's early morning at Crown Castle. Victor comes into the dining room for breakfast.

He called out to them in passing as they were about to go out after finishing their meal, which was already too early.

Ellis: Sorry, Victor. We'll be back tonight, so we'll talk about the mission then.

Victor: Oh, how industrious! It's totally okay!

Jude: Shut up. You don't have to apologize every time you deal with a freak.

Victor: Jude is so harsh. I love that about you, though. (SO DO WE!)

Jude: Disgusting.

Ellis: We're off.

The two left the castle with opposite expressions on their face.

Liam: I'm impressed that you don't get down at that rate every day, Victor.

Victor: Well, I'm the one who recruited those two.

Liam: I joined Crown on the condition that I could keep my current job, but those two guys seem busier than I am.

Liam: I wonder if they have time to do their duties for Crown?

It's been a few days since Ellis and Jude joined the team, and they haven't even had their first mission yet.

William: Well, it doesn't matter when their first mission is.

Harrison: Hey, can we really trust those guys?

William: Why do you say that?

Harrison: It's said he's a trader, but I've heard some fishy rumors. I hear he has a lot of enemies here and there.

Liam: Oh, I've heard that too. It's even talked about mong the fellow actors from time to time.

Liam: Some aristocrat got ripped off and had all his money squeezed out of him.

Harrison: I don't care if he's just a crooked merchant. If he's a spy, I can't just sit idly by.

Victor: You can't trust them?

Harrison: You're a random weirdo, but I know you have a good eye for people. It's just....

Victor: !Did you hear that, William?! Did you hear what Harry just said about me?! (My guy is an excited chihuahua LOL.)

William: Oh, I heard. There's more to come.

Victor: Yes, you may continue!

Harrison:.....you're a real pain in the ass.

Harrison: It's just that his background is too shady to be trusted beyond a shadow of a doubt.

Harrison: I don't think we should let those two act individually too much, do you?

Victor: Hmmm, well I don't want to restrict....their freedom too much.

William: Why don't you just make sure? Whether you can trust them or not?

Victor: Make sure....I like that!

Liam: Haha, looks like something's about to start, doesn't it?

Harrison: I have a bad feeling about this.....

Victor: So, all of Crown is together! We are going to observe Jude and Ellis' way of life!

Liam: Oh! *Claps*

Alfons: Is this another one of Victor's dimwitted projects? It's the best.

Victor: I want everyone to observe the two of them and report back to me.

Victor: The theme is: Are those two worthy of Crown?

Harrison: Damn...I shouldn't have said anything. I'm too busy for this.

Elbert: What are you busy with...?

Alfons: As I recall, you were in the middle of a reviewing job with no time to meet the deadline, and the first draft had not been submitted by the writer.

Alfons: It's as he said, “I'm going to have to stay up all night just before the deadline.”

Liam: Well, wouldn't it be nice if Harry acted as the command center?

Liam: The investigation will be shared among the members other than Harry!

Alfons: A stealth mission, sounds like fun.

Elbert: I don't mind.

Roger: Well, that's good, isn't it?

Harrison: By the way, what's your reason for not doing it?

William: I don't think we'll get that far.

Harrison: ...right?

Victor: Then let the investigation begin!

***Note: I just wanted to affirm that Ellis mentions it had been four years since he met Jude prior to joining Crown. This is not a mistranslation.

[Next] [Masterlist]

[abysswalkersknight]

Finally finished one of my WIPs! It's been sitting in my drafts for a while so I just spiffed it up a bit.

Basically I starting writing this after seeing a scary mystery movie and a perfectly normal debate with a relative whether it's scarier to be poisoned or unknowingly ingest glass. We're still debating on that, otherwise enjoy!

..............

‘Hmm? Is something amiss Silver?’ inquired Malleus. They were at their usual table in the cafeteria, while he, Lilia and Sebek were already seated with their food, Silver took a bit longer than usual, though glancing at his rumpled hair and drowsier expression seemed to explain his absence well enough. While it was, of course, troubling that Silver had a sleep spell during lunch, Malleus was more concerned about the pitiful amount of food on his charge’s plate ‘are you perhaps feeling ill?’ he says, briefly touching his fingers to the boy’s forehead to check for fever. Silver must’ve still been waking up because all of a sudden he startled violently at the prince’s gentle touch ‘oh, uh, not at all my lord…’ Silver looks down. ‘ah, I don’t remember grabbing this, I must have fallen asleep while standing in line.’

In the background Sebek began to berate Silver for his carelessness though the boy was not at all paying any attention to him while Lilia quietly slid his son a perfectly warm coffee he got earlier. 

‘My, so even in his sleep Silver still drifts towards mushroom risotto.’ marveled the ageing fae, he urges Silver to drink the coffee and smiles as his boy slowly perks up, however Malleus still frowns  ‘are you not going to grab more Silver? You must be famished from all the training you’ve done earlier.’ he says, tapping Silver’s meagre plate for emphasis. His retainer glances back to the endless line and sheepishly averts his gaze ‘it’s alright my lord, I’m not that hungry anyways so I can just eat something after classes’ he quickly murmurs, taking up his fork, but his other guardian was not finished ‘nonsense Silver, one cannot focus on an empty stomach. And from what I recall it will be three hours until both your classes and club activities finish. If you’d like, I'm quite happy to share my food.’ Silver began to fidget slightly at his prince’s persistence ‘no no my lord I couldn’t possibly-’ lifting an eyebrow Malleus could already sense a polite refusal coming so, he politely ignores Silver’s fervent protests and pinches both edges of their plates and quickly switches them, Silver’s plate now had a significantly larger portion of mushroom risotto. Silver sputtered with his hand hovering midair, unsure whether to risk retrieving his original plate or not ‘go on, eat Silver. If you’re unable to eat it all then I’ll simply finish the rest myself.’ Malleus coaxes with a swift bite of risotto. 

Silver sighed fondly, throughout his life the only times his prince paid any attention to the clock were the child’s meal times where the dragon fae would make sure that his charge has had at least three proper meals a day and he’d continuously fuss over Silver like a mother bear if he’d found that the human’s meals were “lacking”. 

‘Oh he was so much worse when you were a wee little babe.’ Lilia would gush whenever Silver mentioned this habit to him ‘back then Malleus would never take his eyes off the clock at home until the time came to feed you, oh he was so worried that he’d forget the time and accidentally let you starve’ then Lilia put a finger to his chin in thought ‘though I suppose his worry may have stirred from that parenting book I lent him that one time. It’s probably become a bit of a habit now but still it warms this old man’s heart to see my boys caring for each other!’ 

While the notion itself was greatly appreciated, there were times where it embarrassed poor Silver when the other students and staff witnesses Lilia’s fatherly doting or whenever Malleus scoops some of his portion onto Silver’s whenever he thought the human wasn’t eating enough, even now the fae flicks a graceful eye to the untouched plate, almost daring the human to go hungry.

Shaking his head, Silver carefully hides his smile and begins to eat.

All was well while they ate, Silver watched contently as his fae guardians conversed with each other and Sebek snapped and tore through his fifth helping of risotto, Silver was worried that he might bite through his fork and wonders if it would help if he caught something for dinner later, Sebek was always mentioning about how hungry he was so perhaps some extra meat would temporarily quell his friend’s voracious appetite.  

Lilia was joyously teasing the prince about his lack of punctuality when Silver felt it, there was something strange about the risotto’s texture. As he chewed slowly Silver found an odd chunk of something hidden within the food, rolling it along his tongue he felt how it crumbled between his teeth though he soon came to believe that it was probably just a particularly large piece of mushroom so he shrugged it off.

Some of these mushrooms are rather big, he thought to himself questioningly as a different mushroom piece suddenly lodges itself somewhere in his throat, Lilia, Malleus and Sebek quickly turn to him as he roughly beats his fist against his chest whilst coughing dryly ‘my, you must have been quite hungry, my dear Silver’ chirped Lilia as he came over and thwacked his son firmly on the back. 

‘No-no…s’not…that’ Silver wheezes, his terror rose as he suddenly bent over and braced one elbow on the table while the other clutched desperately at his neck, everyone else began to panic when Silver’s coughs take on a retching tone, each gasp convulsing his whole body. Immediately Lilia’s hands coiled around the boy’s waist and practically heaved Silver off the floor with every thrust he made, at the third though Lilia had to stop when Silver gave a particularly harsh gag. Everything seemed to pause as a dark scarlet colour splattered all over the pearly white plates and shiny wooden table, gleaming like precious rubies on display.

Everyone broke out of their shocked daze when Silver whined painfully, his ungloved hand reaching into his mouth, trying to grasp at something but his fingers shook terribly and kept slipping. Both Lilia and Malleus cry out, the latter quickly held the boy up gently by the shoulders while the former pries his son’s trembling hand away and replaced it with his own ‘shh, shh, it’s alright Silver, it’s alright, Papa’s here…’ Lilia coos softly, trying to soothe his panicking child while trying to ignore the blood that slicks his nimble fingers, making it difficult to grip anything… Ah ha! There! As light as a feather Lilia took hold of something rock solid and gently, he tugged on it, taking great care to avoid hurting his boy even more. Slowly but surely something was coming out, blood thickly spewed out before revealing a distorted clear piece of glass pinched between Lilia’s fingers, small enough to remain hidden but big enough to potentially tear up a throat’s insides. Malleus stares at the glass with a look of outraged disbelief, who would dare-!

‘My liege!’ Both fae quickly turn at Sebek’s cry. The knight had searched through Silver’s risotto and has dug out three more pieces of glass of similar sizes to the one lilia had just pulled out, Sebek looks at Silver worriedly and promptly rushes to his side when the human whimpers and gasps out more blood ‘quickly! Help me take him to the infirmary!’ lilia barks, hoisting Silver up by one side and Sebek soon taking the other. In the rush Malleus was left behind with the staff on duty to control the excited crowd, he hadn’t wanted to of course, he had to be at Silver’s side, making sure that he was being properly treated, to think that there was someone within the school who had the absolute gall to do something so despicable to someone under his care, to target Silver- wait.

He thought back to the beginning of lunch, to his and Silver’s plates… They weren’t going after his retainer, they were targeting Malleus. His fists clenched, so hard that he felt some seams in his gloves tear. When I get my hands on whoever’s done this-

He had only wanted to make sure that his charge was well fed, but in his folly all he did was unknowingly feed Silver a plate filled with tampered food, and now this has happened. Glass in their food would have only been a minor inconvenience to fae like Lilia and Malleus, as was possibly the perpetrators prior intentions, but clearly the same cannot be said for humans, as was seen with Silver. For that alone I will slowly tear them apart, he thought dangerously, tis only right, they have hurt what is mine and as crown prince of Briar Valley it is my duty to put them in their place. But first, he must attend to Silver who should be in the infirmary by now… Malleus can only hope that his charge won’t suffer any long lasting ailments due to this. With that thought in mind, the dragon prince disappears in a flurry of green lights.

By the time he arrived Silver was fast asleep in one of the few infirmary cots, his parted mouth emitting weak wheezy breaths. Lilia sat at the head, tenderly stroking his boy’s soft locks ‘the nurse said he should be fine’ the old fae says without glancing up, moving closer something in Malleus’s chest tightens when he finds little splotches of dried red in the corner of Silver’s pale mouth ‘how bad was it?’ he murmurs, bending down to caress Silver’s cheek, the boy showed no signs of stirring. Lilia hummed and gestured to a tray on the other side of the cot, on top was a smaller, cruel looking piece of glass ‘apparently that bit must have broken off the one I pulled out’ he mumbled looking at his now gloveless hand, his eyes flick back to Malleus ‘let me guess. You have come to the same conclusion as I?’ it was not a question ‘good, then it is alright to ask that you remain here with Sebek at Silver’s side while I go handle this.’

Malleus blanched, what? No! He won't have Lilia do this alone! It was unbecoming of the prince to back down from such a blatant challenge. But just as he was about to protest, his guardian pinned him down with the general’s sharp gaze ‘no Malleus, while I’m well aware of your power, remember that this was an attack staged against you, little Silver simply had the misfortune to be the recipient of it, and we don’t want any unfortunate incidents happening as well, do we?’ he grins maliciously, it was then Malleus recalled just who he was speaking with, he may have changed immensely over the centuries but this was still Lilia Vanrouge, general of the right and one of the most feared fae out there. And someone had just signed their death sentence the moment that glass was placed, not only had they targeted his first child and prince of Briar Valley, they had even wounded his second child with such a callous method and now here he was resting in an infirmary with a torn up throat, how could Lilia ever let something like this slide without punishment.

Even better they have made an attempt on Malleus’s well being, Lilia thought his talons twitching with unbridled bloodlust, that means I can go all out as his guard.

I hope the staff catch them quickly.

His grin widens.

Otherwise I’m going to have some fun.

[accio-victuuri]

From this article : Exclusive Interview｜Xiao Zhan: Shengyang made me relax a little

Xiao Zhan received a lot of scripts and roles. Some people around him gave him suggestions to act in dramas that everyone seemed to like. They had more dramatic conflicts, or the characters were a little more exaggerated, or the proportion of the space was very cautious, and it couldn't be just one-sided. But Xiao Zhan’s own criteria for viewing scripts and characters are not complicated. The first answer is to "impress him", which is more concrete. When he read the first draft of the script of "Sunshine By My Side", he looked at what was described in the script. Sheng Yang smiled unconsciously. When he saw some plots between Meijuan and Lao Sheng, he felt sad, resonated, and nodded.

"I am the one who has to interpret this character. If I don't have the confidence to interpret it, or even the desire, how can I have the confidence to bring him to the audience? At least that's how I am currently."

In essence, Xiao Zhan believes that he and Sheng Yang have the same background. "Just like the name of our drama, Sheng Yang is a little sun. He has an energy that can turn all bad things into something." Very good, I think he will always be bright." Of course, there is also the coincidence that Xiao Zhan and Sheng Yang are also former colleagues. But there is a big difference in personality. In Xiao Zhan's eyes, "This kid is too lively. It doesn't matter if you encounter difficulties. Just cheer yourself up and continue to move forward bravely." But Xiao Zhan himself is very different in life. I prefer to be alone and quiet part of the time.

Screenwriter Li Xiao revealed that she met Xiao Zhan during the creation of this character, so she added a lot of Xiao Zhan's own characteristics to the character of Sheng Yang. Xiao Zhan recalled that when he met Li Xiao for the second time half a year before filming started, he made a comparison In-depth communication, "I remember that time she told me that she felt like you were different from before." What's different? Xiao Zhan himself couldn't answer, "More than two years have passed. People will always grow."

In addition to his fate with the boy Sheng Yang, the important reason why Xiao Zhan likes "SBMS" is because of the natural nature of this drama. Sheng Yang is a young man who dreams of becoming a designer after graduating from university. He has an ordinary family that is noisy but warm at times. By chance, he meets a senior director whom he remembered from 10 years ago. By coincidence, The two met again. The story didn't have the plot of an idol drama. Work, life, friends, and sister were all in his life. "It's not like the plots I've seen before, it's more natural." "

This seemingly natural script is what Xiao Zhan likes and finds challenging. He wants to make Sheng Yang a living person, not just a character played by Xiao Zhan.

"This is a story that flows like water. It has no particularly dramatic conflicts or plots. Everything is natural, just like a story that would happen around you. Acting in this drama is a big challenge for me. Because I have never filmed such an urban drama, how can I make everyone believe that Sheng Yang is such a person, that he really exists, and is not something Xiao Zhan worked hard to play."

The story feels natural and the characters are relaxed. Relaxation and calmness in acting is what Xiao Zhan gained after playing Sheng Yang, and due to a coincidence of career, Sheng Yang may be the life Xiao Zhan would have experienced if he was not an actor. Did experiencing a life like "parallel time and space" make actor Xiao Zhan relax?

"Yes, but not many. Because the problems Xiao Zhan and Sheng Yang face are still different."

There are not so many golden fingers in life, everything requires your own efforts

The Paper: I also talked with the screenwriting teacher two days ago. Meeting you before the script was fully completed had an impact on the creation of the character Sheng Yang. What was the contact with the screenwriting teacher like at that time?

Xiao Zhan: The first time Sister Xiao and I met was in 2019. Half a year before filming started, we had an in-depth chat and she said that I felt different from before. I said that more than two years have passed and people will always grow. That was the first time that the screenwriting teacher and I established an understanding of each other. Later, we held three script meetings to make adjustments to the character of Sheng Yang.

There were two points I raised at the beginning. One was why Sheng Yang has been obsessed with this sister for 10 years? Another point is that although Sheng Yang is a younger brother, how can he show responsibility and growth in a relationship to convince the audience.

The Paper: Is the final Sheng Yang highly compatible with you?

Xiao Zhan: We are both positive and optimistic, but we have different personalities. For example, Sheng Yang can't help but take action against his boss. Maybe for Xiao Zhan, I won't do such impulsive things. I will think of solutions when workplace bullying appears, instead of delaying the matter. To the point of being unbearable.

The Paper: Then how do you understand Sheng Yang’s tolerance in the early stage? His superiors took credit for his role and had a bad attitude toward him. He never thought of a solution and was just enduring.

Xiao Zhan: I can understand Sheng Yang’s situation at that time. First of all, he needs this job; secondly, this is life, there will be pressure, there will be difficulties, it may make him feel very tired, but he still has to go to work well the next day. Because he needed this job, his family conditions did not allow him to do something very outrageous and impulsive, which also allowed him to develop a very gentle character.

So I understand Sheng Yang. As for why he suddenly took action and had an emotional outburst later, it was because (the boss) had hit the bottom line of his tolerance.

But Shengyang has grown. In the beginning, he was a diligent and hard-working young man with a relatively tolerant personality. Later, he experienced some things in the workplace and in life. At the same time, he also met his sister, who encouraged him to be himself and to face and resist bravely, so Shengyang made some adjustments. But even in the ending, we didn't portray Sheng Yang as very successful, having completed a very big project, or as well-known. We still want Shengyang to be closer to life. After all, there are not so many golden fingers in life. Everything is hard-won and requires your own efforts.

The Paper: How do you understand some of the struggles between Sheng Yang and the team leader? If it were you, what kind of mentality would you have when faced with this unfair situation?

Xiao Zhan: I might solve the problem as soon as it occurs. I will look for opportunities to have a tactful chat with my boss. For example, I will reflect to my boss on the current resistance I am encountering from a project perspective. But to be honest, I have never encountered workplace bullying. I am quite lucky. The seniors and colleagues I have met take good care of me.

Acting requires "subtraction" sometimes

The Paper: What is the difficulty of Shengyang for you?

Xiao Zhan: In a few scenes, I think Sheng Yang is a bit naive. Will he be accepted by the audience? Will everyone like him? And how to determine this degree? How to act naturally? These are the questions I have to face.

We chatted a lot with the director on set. I would sit next to the director and watch when I had nothing to do. We would talk about what to do with this scene, and the director would give me a lot of advice. The point of inspiration is to do subtraction. In many cases, don’t design a lot of things, don’t think about acting in a lively state, just remember your motivation, and then do subtraction.

The Paper: The scene where Sheng Yang resigned was quite simple to shoot, but some viewers were very sympathetic, and Sheng Yang also had red circles in the end. Is this a subtraction?

Xiao Zhan: Right. In fact, we thought about whether we should say something to everyone after Sheng Yang resigned, but later I felt that there was no need to say it. First of all, the accident did happen, and it is useless to say more. Secondly, you used your resignation to protect the interests of other members of the group, so there is no need to say too much at the moment.

We need to understand the character's emotions based on his current situation. First of all, his family situation is not very good and he needs this job; secondly, how will he explain to his parents when he returns? This is a profession that he loves very much, and it is more than just a job to make ends meet. And he has already become the chief designer, which is a very rare opportunity. So Shengyang feels more sad at the moment. I was also very sad when I was acting, because everything was obviously going in a good direction and I had worked hard, but I got this result. In the setting in the script, it was a well-known advertising company. When we were studying design, we would also make a career plan for ourselves, so it must be very sad to leave this company.

The Paper: When thinking about the character, did you do any design for Sheng Yang that might be outside of the script to make it more consistent with the character?

Xiao Zhan: For design-related content, just refer to my previous work experience. The main thing is to be natural and not to do too much design, because everyone who works knows what to do and focus on what you are doing. Just work. In addition, before the filming started, I sorted out Shengyang's growing environment, as well as his way of getting along with his colleagues at work, his way of getting along with his superiors, and his way of getting along with his parents at home.

The Paper: What do you think of the emotional line between your parents?

Xiao Zhan: I think he is confused when his parents quarrel. My parents also quarrel, and I am confused sometimes. I will ask, why do you still quarrel so much after you have lived together for decades? ? You obviously care about each other and love each other very much, so why do you have to hurt each other in this way? So I also have questions about Sheng Yang in the play.

Sheng Yang did not escape. If he had chosen to escape, he would not have grown into such a character. It can be seen from Sheng Yang's character that their family is a very loving family.

Understand each other, test each other, and move towards each other step by step

The Paper: In Sheng Yang’s eyes, what kind of person is Jian Bing?

Xiao Zhan: Very independent and sober, different from some people in the advertising circle in the show. She is like a breath of fresh air. What impresses Shengyang most is her insistence on design and her own high-end aesthetics.

The Paper: When Sheng Yang complained about work to Jian Bing, Jian Bing said to stop doing it, and Sheng Yang fell silent. At this time, he was not brave. Do you agree more with Jian Bing's statement, or do you agree with Sheng Yang's hesitation and silence?

Xiao Zhan: I can particularly understand Sheng Yang. Work is really not something you can do without doing. First of all, Sheng Yang is the design department team leader of the advertising department of a design company. For three cases he has, he has three clients. , there are many contact people at the customer's side. If you suddenly stop doing it, this matter will be very irresponsible, let alone professional ethics. Because the customer has chosen you, you have to be responsible to the customer, so it’s really not just a matter of quitting. I feel like I can’t do it anyway, at least there needs to be a transition period.

Jian Bing didn't comfort him either. This is a point of difference between the two of them. The younger brother and older sister are in different social statuses and have different working environments. Sometimes they have conflicting ideas. This is also a point that I think is very real in "SBMS". It is not the younger brother. As soon as they came up, they met each other. The two of them immediately had something to do. Instead, they walked toward each other step by step while understanding each other and testing each other.

The Paper: When was the moment when you felt you most resonated with Sheng Yang’s soul?

Xiao Zhan: It has always been there, from the first scene when he went to work. But the most resonant moment may be the scene when she goes home to face her parents for dinner after losing her job. Her mother says what’s wrong, why do she look so tired today? What they don’t know is that Sheng Yang is already unemployed, but Sheng Yang doesn’t explain. In fact, I myself am now reporting good news but not bad news.

I was very sad when I went to shoot. I couldn't hold it back and cried while eating. But I couldn't cry. According to the plot, crying would be very strange. In the end, the director didn't use the crying part. It was very correct.

For today's young people, it is more that I can be strong and endure no matter how hard I am outside, but when facing my closest relatives, including my parents, a greeting will sometimes completely break down. So I am very empathetic.

The Paper: Is it because of his character that he has a kind of liveliness that you don’t have?

Xiao Zhan: It's possible, so I envy him very much. It's a kind of yearning.

The Paper: Which scene or line in this drama do you like best?

Xiao Zhan: Independent of each other, no suspicion or jealousy.

The Paper: You have acted in a lot of movies so far. Where do you think your greatest growth is reflected?

Xiao Zhan: I feel that I am more relaxed and calm. This is the biggest feeling after filming "SBMS". Of course, this may also be a problem with the subject matter, which requires you to be natural and relaxed.

The Paper: As an actor, where do you think your desire for acting started?

Xiao Zhan: When you see a good script, you have the confidence and motivation to perform it well. This can also be regarded as a desire to conquer the character you like and win this role. In fact, when acting, just enjoy the moment, whether it is sad or happy, remember it.

The Paper: When is the happiest moment as an actor?

Xiao Zhan: Basically, the director and I send messages every day after work. Sometimes it’s to summarize the details of today’s scene that haven’t been completed, and sometimes it’s to discuss how to shoot the big scene the next day — any ideas.

The director sent me a long 60-second voice message, telling me with great interest what he was going to shoot tomorrow. I really like this kind of atmosphere, where everyone is giving, creating, and doing it with love. This atmosphere is what I like and what I want.

The Paper: To be honest, especially for young actors like you, who are liked by many young people, the roles handed to you will be more upright and have no shortcomings, but this seems not to be three-dimensional and enjoyable enough. What do you think of this situation?

Xiao Zhan: I think this is an issue of career functionality of actors at different stages. It is true that some very complex roles are so fascinating and challenging, but when you return to your role as an actor, you need to think carefully. I feel that as I get older, have more energy, and Xiao Zhan’s personality attributes become more and more multifaceted, I can try some more complex roles.

Every character has its own shortcomings and shortcomings. This kid Sheng Yang is actually a bit noisy. It depends on how you act and how you use it, and it becomes the character's characteristics. He moves forward bravely and breaks through difficult walls, but this means that this person is a bit stubborn. When I read the script myself, I also felt that this child was a bit short-sighted. This may be his shortcoming and what makes him lovable. point.

The Paper: Are you the kind of person who needs to work all the time, or do you prefer a relaxed pace?

Xiao Zhan: I should be like many people. When I keep working, I feel like taking a rest. When I take a break, I say no, I have to work and I have to produce.

The Paper: Since it was filmed in Chongqing, did you bring your colleagues from the crew to introduce the local food?

Xiao Zhan: I sent some to my colleagues, but they were all disliked in the end. Everyone would say we won’t eat this anymore. It turned out that I had not returned to Chongqing for several years and was already out.

The Paper: Do you feel a sense of loss that you are no longer familiar with your hometown?

Xiao Zhan: I don’t feel disappointed, the classic ones are the best.

-END.

[titansandothers]

Sorry for Silence/Story Concepts

I’m sorry I haven’t been uploading much here. I swear I will never abandon my Teen Titans fan work. I may make a new tidier blog at some point, but I’m not sure. Now that I’m working on writing better and not just uploading the first draft I write, I’ve been going back to previous stories, finished and unfinished, rewriting/continuing them. Here are some stories I have in the works. Please let me know what catches your interest the most. I could definitely use encouragement to do more.

Beast Boy and the Bakery While the story begins during construction of Titans Tower, it takes place over the course of the series and beyond. It covers Beast Boy discovering a vegan bakery along with the nice old couple who run it. He becomes a frequent customer, favored by the couple and their grandchildren. Unbeknownst to the Titans, Beast Boy grows fond of the family, serving as almost an older brother to the children. He takes this role with pride and does his best to impart his teenage wisdom upon them. He doesn’t always give the best advice, but he does his best. This is mostly a series of slice of life events. Osmosis Woes A new villain by the name of Osmosis steals Beast Boy’s powers, leaving him susceptible to the deadly Sakutia Virus in his system. The Titans must rush to capture the villain and return Beast Boy’s powers to save his life. As things appear more grim and hope dwindles, the group each take a moment with the former changeling, reminiscing about their past with him. Not all hope is lost as the Titans get help from an unlikely source. Mission and Memories The Titans are contacted by a young girl in an abusive home. Beast Boy takes a particular interest in helping this girl, doing his utmost to protect her while recalling his past abuse from Mento. He realizes just how wrong his old leader was and that he never deserved that treatment. Blast from the Past, Launch to the Future Beast Boy is called back to his old team, The Doom Patrol. It becomes his responsibility to lead the team while Mento is no longer capable. Beast Boy is not on his own, however, as a man thought long deceased makes his return, The Chief. The changeling puts his all into being the best for his team. Beast Boy matures during his time on the Doom Patrol, both physically and mentally, causing quite the surprise when he returns to the Titans. An Amusing Day The Amazing Mumbo visits a new amusement park in the hopes of fun and theft. Little does he know this park is owned by the villainous Mad Mod and he is not fond of his customers being messed with. A scuffle becomes a mutual appreciation and the two join forces. The two could bring Jump City to its knees… but lunch sounds better. Kitten Kaboodle Beast Boy discovers a lone kitten and ropes Raven in to keep it secret until he can get the kitten to a shelter. Seeing his determination and animal knowledge put to use, Raven gains a new respect for Beast Boy.

[a-forbidden-detective]

hi there! :3 if i may ask, how differently do you think of the ron and toto in manga vs the anime? i found the series through the anime first and read the manga second, so i feel like my perspective might be different from someone like you who'd been following the manga for a long time. is it the individual characterization of ron and toto you find different or the way ron and toto's relationship is presented to us?

for me, reading the manga pretty much convinced me of how close ron and toto's relationship becomes as the story goes on. but i also know from rereading/rewatching and some of your posts as well that the anime has made little changes that really favours the rontoto agenda.

from the top of my head i recall this scene:

and this one (a personal favourite!):

if i remember correctly, the execution and dialogue in both of these scenes are much less personal in the manga compared to the anime.

do you prefer how these scenes plays out in the manga or the anime? i don't know if i can choose personally. i like both versions.

so many questions in one, i know! i'm just curious to know your thoughts :'3 have a nice day!

Whoah! Thank you for this ask. Somewhere in my drafts folder is a post about the differences between the manga and anime for the whole season one. It means I have to get back to it and post it before the second season starts. Ack. I should do it now.

Anyway, I find RonToto happened in anime much faster than the RonToto in manga. Thing I love both versions, I also find that both RonTotos move both in a different yet similar directions.

Moreover, the Ron in anime is much warmer, kinder, more dependent on Toto anime. The Ron in manga takes a few more chapters before he has reached that same level in anime.

Maybe, it is the localisation editor’s fault, the English translation in anime. But that particular 11th episode where Ron “welcomed” Spitz as his first official client both the Japanese and English translation had the same meaning. Whereas the German translation, which I am watching right now is loyal to the manga. It followed the same route word for word. (I’ll probably post a separate analysis on this to continue my watching in German language session bc it is amazing how they also change some things.)

Anyway, i don’t think I can choose between the two. Like what I’ve said, though anime RonToto’s characterisation is a different beast for me, I like the way the anime series composition writer played it out but at the same time I cannot deny that Akira’s storytelling first moved me, maybe she could tell us more about Toto’s background. That would be wonderful. But all in all, it is difficult for me to make a decision.

[violetgreeneao3]

Fic Graveyard 🪦🕊️

Herein lies a collection of my Abandoned/DNF’d fics, as per someone’s CC request. I have no current plans of continuing/writing these fics so read at the risk of your sanity. (I would rather DIE than let anyone see these trash fire monstrosities in their current forms; I would have to completely restart if I ever wanted to post these concepts 😭)

I also decided to omit the official names I had planned b/c i may use them for other fics and don't want to cause confusion.

The order of these have no meaning, just random. I included notes for each fic with bonus info, why I DNF’d, how far I got, or other ramblings.

1. After the disbandment of izone, each member goes on their respective path, some together, some apart. Four specific members join two different groups— IVE and Le Sesserafim. Or at least what had been IVE and Le Sesserafim. but what happens when Starship is absorbed by HYBE?

Condition: This is one of the only idolverses I’ve ever written. I wrote about ~12k words of this over a year ago.

* Honestly the premise of this one is still appealing to me, but as I collected “dead” fics for this list, I used a certain criteria to decide whether to keep it as a *maybe I’ll write this later* or to toss it. One of those criterion were “Can I think of a good ending?”.

Good doesn't necessarily mean happy, just something I would personally be satisfied with, and the reason most of these fics are on here is because the answer was No—I had absolutely no idea how I would end this fic, so I probably would never finish writing it, either.

2. Assassins AU: wherein Yujin and Wonyoung are both separately tasked with killing a target, like any other run-of-the-mill job for the notorious assassins, except there’s one catch—Their targets are each other. Finally, they’ve met their match.

I was debating whether to add a prior relationship between them or to have them be wayward souls—strangers that feel oddly drawn to one another. This fic was lowkey an excuse to write a knife-to-throat/gun-to-head scene (or sex scene) with LOTS of tension, but the urge to do so passed and I ended up leaving it as a draft.

3. ANOTHER Assassin AU wherein Annyeongz are from rival families that have a blood feud.

I planned for Wonyoung to seduce Yujin while knowing who she was as a sort of “spy”. She lied about her name and developed close a relationship with Yujin, but when her family found out she was faced with a choice: Betray Yujin or betray her family. She chose Yujin, but unfortunately Yujin found out who she really was before she got the chance to confess on her own terms.

*Fic devolves from there, this is all I recall from a brief skim of it*

Condition: Wrote 56k words of this a little over a year ago, abandoned because I didn’t know where to take the story (from what I saw scrolling through it was AWFUL… please trust me)

4. Vampire AU: Yujin and Wonyoung are high school sweethearts, but one day Yujin goes to try out for a strange audition and becomes a vampire.

I think they have vampire sex? Yujin definitely feeds on Wonyoung’s blood to stay alive though, and I think she eventually has to turn Wonyoung into a vampire to save her life despite Wonyoung SPECIFICALLY telling her not to (Basically Yujin had promised never to turn Wonyoung, only to break it when Wonyoung’s life was on the line).

Another thing I recall about this fic is that Yujin goes missing for ~5 years when she leaves for the audition, so she I guess she spent 5 years as a vampire before going back to Wonyoung? I don’t remember how Yujin survived for those 5 years, but I know I remember Wonyoung dating Sunghoon (she moved on and eventually got with after Yujin “left” her), and the second Yujin came back, she broke off her years-long relationship with him to be with her again. Also I think Wonyoung *liked* having her blood sucked… (Random details, but I thought they were cute things to mention)

Condition: Wrote this a little under a year ago, DNF’d at 31k words because I didn’t know where to take the story/lost motivation.

5. A/B/O AU where Yujin is a submissive alpha and Wonyoung is a dominant omega. Classroom sex occurs.

I started writing this because of a recommendation on CC (I think it was just an ABO rec but I wanted to put a spin on it) and abandoned it at ~3k words because my omegaverse writing skills are abysmal.

6. Grey’s Anatomy AU where (basically) Yujin is Derek and Wonyoung is Meredith.

If you’ve never heard of Grey’s:

Yujin is an attending Surgeon and Wonyoung is an intern, which basically means Yujin is who Wonyoung wants to be when she’s older. Before Wonyoung’s first day of work, she meets Yujin in a bar and sleeps with her. She finds out the next day that Yujin is one of her bosses and the fic is a cat and mouse game of Yujin chasing her and then backing out and Wonyoung chasing her back until they finally get together—it’s a terribly written fiasco, but was sort of fun to imagine nonetheless.

Their age gap is about ten years, which is ignored in the show but I addressed it in the fic. A commonality between the fic and the show, however, is that the power imbalance is largely ignored (because that’s no fun! [to write about, anyway. The fic was 90% lighthearted])

Condition: Wrote this over a year ago because I started watching Grey’s, abandoned at ~91k words (How the hell did I write that much?! I need to manifest that type of motivation and free time NOW😭)

7. Wonyoung is home for the summer, back from her office job in Seoul. Yujin, however, had never left their small town. Wonyoung pretends that her life in the city is super fulfilling and perfect but that’s a lie—she hates it and her boyfriend is NOT as great as she makes him out to be—but she’s too proud to admit it. Yujin, a doctor at a local Pediatric office, is much happier. Wonyoung secretly envies her. And maybe still loves her a little bit, too.

The plot mostly revolves around their past and skips around in time, eventually revealing that the feelings Wonyoung had for Yujin as a child weren’t merely friendly, and somehow she missed that while Yujin was fully aware of it. (Double) Eventually, they kiss and Wonyoung has to wrestle with cheating on her boyfriend (family problems make that difficult for her, b/c her father was a cheater and left her mother when she was young [Daddy issues ftw!!]) and also being gay in her small town wouldn’t be taken so kindly.

Condition: This was a DRAFT I planned out earlier this year, so I had an outline of events but didn’t write beyond the first chapter (~3k words). I think it was inspired by a K-drama, can’t recall the name. Abandoned b/c I just wasn’t in the mood for it anymore (I think this made me realize FULLY plotting a story down the dime ruins the fun for me, sadly).

8. Chef AU

I had the idea of making Yujin an Executive Chef and Wonyoung a Commis Chef (like fresh out of culinary school her first job is under Yujin), but I couldn’t come up with a good story, so I changed the plot to make them both mid-level chefs vying for the same higher position. I wanted there to be this enemies to lovers thing where they hate each other because they’re both the best and the other one is “holding them back” but also urging them to better by merely existing, with trust and betrayals and sabotage and reluctant teamwork.

This was one of the first fic ideas I had and it was well before I realized I couldn’t easily write about things I had no experience with. I was (and still am) sorely lacking in the Culinary knowledge required to take on a project of this calibre😭. I would’ve had to research & plan everything out to be accurate, which I realised about 1 chapter in… but at least I learned that “write what you know” is good advice to follow, at least for a beginner…

9. Yujin is a developer for a company that makes AI bots. One day she creates Wonyoung and slowly, after many tests and trails and tribulations, falls in love with her. Obviously the only logical course of action is to steal her and run away.

This is another based on a CC request, and I honestly still think if a cute idea as a one shot, it’s just I liked the idea so much I wanted to make it a long fic with Detroit Becoming Human vibes, but of course that’s a little too advanced for me.

Condition: I wrote ~3k words of this, so not much, but I think this one of the only fics on this list that I could still see myself making something out of, just more goofy and lighthearted. Still, it’s here because I don’t currently have plans to do so.

9. Bridgerton-esque AU where Wonyoung is deemed the “diamond” (most vied-after woman during the courting season), but she can’t quite find someone who she wants to marry. There’s a seemingly perfect guy—a prince—but it’s actually his cousin that Wonyoung has eyes for.

She and Yujin actually end up having a relationship, although in the beginning it’s more of an older sister thing for Yujin where Wonyoung’s love is one-sided, until at some point Yujin stops seeing her that way and takes her feelings seriously, and their relationship became intimate and dangerous.

Condition: I abandoned this at ~19k words because it was getting sad and I couldn’t handle the angst. The ending I had planned was hopeful but still depressing and I don’t think my mental health can handle making that any time soon (or ever. I ENVY all the authors who can spend hours and days and years writing a story with a tragic ending. I just can’t do my babies like that :( )

Side note: I actually came up with this idea BEFORE the most recent season of Bridgerton (like I started writing this idea before even FINISHING season 1), which doesn’t really matter at all, just wanted to claim lesbian bridgerton I guess? I’m just yapping at this point, I love the ending of the latest season despite all the hate it got

LIGHTNING ROUND FOR IDEAS THAT I ONLY WROTE AS SINGLE SENTENCES or failed to write but wanted to mention (all from different times, MOSTLY a year ago but some more recent):

- “Streamer AU Wonyoung accidentally exposes the relationship on cam”

(Cute but lacking plot)

- “Enemies to lovers flower shop x event planner AU”

(this one has some kick ngl…I still see the vision)

- “I like older girls.”

(??? No idea what the idea was, maybe a CC rec? But slay!)

- “Band and cheer.”

(Classic. Succinct. I like it.)

- “Enemies that are secret lovers.”

(I just wrote tropes down and hoped the fics would write themselves I guess.)

(wait, I lowkey still do that…)

- “They meet in a dog park and flirt and go back to her place.”

(I SWEAR I remember someone giving me this idea on CC but I only started making a list of reccs relatively recently so if this was you helloooo, I tried fo write this!)

- “Princess x bodyguard”

(nah because this one still has me trying to write it every once in a while… I’ve dreamt about this AU but can never think of a good plot)

(also a CC rec and I might still write this one now that I’m looking back at it😭)

- “Time travel AU where Wonyoung is a researcher who goes missing and Yujin searches for her in multiple timelines”

(I think I dropped this b/c it lacked romance; was more about Yujin solving the mystery)

- “They’re soloists who are rumored to be dating. A scandal threatens to ruin their careers but they have proof to deny it, but the whole situation brings them close and they bond over how terrible the industry is etc etc…”

(Interesting but I didn’t think it through enough. How does it end??? I can’t handle all that angst😭)

- “Wonyoung bullies Yujin for being a lesbian but it’s just her own internalized homophobia and religious guilt and they fuck in the locker room(or not idk if the vibe is smut).”

(I have so many ideas like this.. but those others are still in my TBD pile)

Other:

- I tried A/B/O outside of the fic I mentioned in the main list and it’s pretty stilted. I think I can do it eventually because I genuinely like the trope, just need more practice for it not to be completely garbage. Also I really struggle with plots in ABO Aus when brainstorming

- Hybrid fics—I also like the idea because it’s so CUTEEE, but I don’t really know how to write them as animals… I think I need to read more

Sorry if these ideas kind of SUCKED but I had to choose fics for this Graveyard that I am (as close as I can be to) 100% certain I will never pick back up again, which made the pickings slimmer compared to my entire “WIP”/Draft list.

There are plenty more drafts I consider “Abandoned” (I have a whole tag on my Notion for it), but I didn’t put them because I could see myself still using them in the future, so they don’t fit with the rest.

If you asked for something on CC within the past couple months but didn’t see it on here, it’s probably because I’m still considering making it and is sitting in my Notes App list, but just to be safe you can always drop by there and leave the same idea again since it doesn’t hurt to make sure I see it❤️❤️

Maybe I can make a separate list of fics I MIGHT write (What separates those fics from these are that I actually planned proper endings for them), but the problem is I don’t want to get anyone’s hopes up by saying “Hey, any of these can be fics,” when tomorrow I may decide I hate the idea… It feels a little cruel 😭

If you made it this far, thank you so much for reading my yap and I love you!! See u next fic (hopefully soon) ❤️❤️

(By CC request I started a Ko-fi where I may or may not post small fics (idk if I’m allowed to do that on there??), but I’ll cross post here too) [might do proper commissions in the future but currently I don’t have the time :(]

[sothischickshe]

4?

Thank you 😘😘

4. How much do you trust the reader?

Oof well the reader im most concerned by atm (cos ~theoretically stumbling through a draft😓) is me, and I'm not sure I trust that bitch at all 😅😅

This concept [particularly re ~comprehending the story/aspects] is a bit of a tricky balancing act I think, bc if you as the writer have sat with something for a long time espec while editing/rewriting/tinkering it can be really hard to get a sense of what does come through clearly, espec in a first/single read. And with serialised fiction like multi part fic which isn't published at a fast regular clip, it's impossible to know how much a reader might recall about what's happened already (maybe fic chapters need a 'previously on' segment?!).

Plus and maybe especially as a lover of ambiguity, it can be really hard to know if the sense/s you've tried to convey as an author have come across coherently. I think that's just something you have to accept if that's a style you prefer, and you can figure out how to develop certain aspects/skills better to help; if you want to be surer of things coming across relatively clearly you may have to explicate pretty explicitly and/or repeat more.

But I suppose this is why writing primarily for oneself is important -- if it works for you, then maybe by definition it works for this idealised reader 🤪 both in terms of quality but also of joy, eg if you include easter eggs which make you cackle, maybe they'll brighten someone else's day too!!

further, if you wanna trust the reader, you've gotta create a scenario where they can trust the writer, SuReLy? For example, if you as writer HAVEN'T nailed down what's happening with characters on and off the page or how truthful they're being (in convos but also ~pov) that tends to show; trust of hypothetical ppl probs needs to be earned too.

Ofc whomsoever 'the reader' is is gonna be varied! Can you trust that any reader is going to pick up on your context clues? Obviously not! But I do think writing towards an idealised good faith audience concept can be encouraging.

I suppose it also depends on what you're hoping to trust the reader to do tho! if you can identify, maybe you can ~aid:

Eg: to read your story? Well OK, maybe you can promote it better. To read your story alllll the way to the end? Well OK, maybe you need to focus on making it continually engaging; cut some chaff; have an endpoint in mind. Trust the reader to respond/feed back to the story? Well you can at least request that if it's important to you, and specifying what areas you particularly seek it for will likely help. Trust the reader to interrogate the story? Well, I think certain styles probably encourage this. Trust the reader to reread the story? Well, you better make it engaging then!! Etc etc

Ultimately, I've had ppl comment on my stories in a way which implies they've misunderstood what I was trying to convey, maybe that means I've left it too vague, or that they were bringing their own assumptions and/or didn't read carefully. Does that mean I should trust no readers/completely change how I write? I don't think so, espec when I've also had other ppl engage with the ambiguity in a positive way, or try to crack a secret of the story open, or take the time to try to understand references they weren't familiar with at first glance, or ref things implied-but-not-stated as if they were on the page. It DOES mean though I can consider that it may be worth clarifying or repeating important points if I want them to def be understood by more readers, and that there's some areas where it's probs worth being more specific (eg did I think the setting was obvious cos I could imagine it clearly but maybe that didn't translate and someone could get it totally wrong?). Also how you approach this for different kinds of stories can be v different! Eg a 1500 word short story can easily be v ambiguous & fun for a reader to play with interpreting vs a 200k one probs needs more clarity to not alienate the audience -- if you're referencing line 1 on line one million without any mention of that topic in btwn, I'm not sure you can expect ppl to remember what you're on about!

So I suppose it's about deciding what reader/s you wanna be able to trust -- just you? Just an idealised perf reader type? Or more broadly, and if so how wide? Can you make it work on multiple levels?? And overall yea, I don't think you can be asking an audience to trust you without making it abundantly clear you're trustable at storytelling!

Writing meme: ashamed edition!

[ofcarnvge]

Unarmed

@annalis-e--shadowofpanem

A door opened and O-Ren stepped through, taking from Amy the opportunity of fleeing. She lost those precious moments required to change her mind and retrieve her bag. The indecision, whatever was left of it, was stolen. She was to remain under Floss’s roof...and the part of her that was afraid of remaining wrestled with the part of her that knew that being amongst company was exactly what she needed.

So Amy greeted O-Ren with a smile. “Did she tell you I was a ninja too? Because I don’t think I’d survive any more ego inflation. I honestly think my head may burst.” Her thumbs dug into her palm, tracing remnants of old callouses earned from smithing, smoothed over by cosmetic treatments. The skin was smooth and gentle, but the tissue underneath still remembered thick gloves,. sweltering heat and the tightness with which her hands held the tools. The sound of superheated metal, warping beneath a mighty hammer’s swing brought a smile so genuine to Amy’s face, she no longer had to fake it.

“Taking things from yesterday and making them relevant again is becoming a hobby of mine,” Amy reminisced. “I look forward to seeing if I can help Go-Go do the same with a meteor hammer.”

Amy started for the stairs. “C’mon. I know you have placed to go, but if I have to endure breakfast with the family, so do you.” --

Anything made with love and made with the hands, as Pan’s mother was so fond of telling her as a child. Three peaches weren’t many, but she would pour her love into the two glasses they would help make. She forwent the blender, and with a long handle spoon, she spun two shakes by hand. 

The smile Pan wore was the warmest any of the Shadows present had ever seen. So warm, that Eleanor clamped her mouth tightly shut, lest anything she said ruin Pan’s mood. She wanted it to last for as long as it could.

Two shakes. One for Molly...and another.... She took both glasses, sitting one of them nearby Floss. “I’ll be back down in a little bit.” The lazy slide of her her tired feet was replaced with a lively step as she carried the second glass to the stairs. She passed Amy with a cordial grin. “Good morning,” she beamed. But she stopped for O-Ren. She placed the glass firmly in O-ren’s hand a gave it a firm squeeze. “And to you as well.”

Somewhere, a long time from the moment, a little girl would make it her mission to make her Auntie O-Ren a milkshake every time she visited. Pan could feel the child’s momentous glee, even from where...when she was standing. “I’ll join the rest of you shortly.” 

Pan continued back to her room, where she placed the last glass on a coaster atop the nightstand beside Molly.

Pan could recall, with even more clarity now, the night she first spun a shake for Molly at a pet-project shop she opened. The night was wild, eventful, rapturous...and inappropriate to the moment.

But she couldn’t help but think about it.

Pan knelt by the bedside, and with her hands still cold from the glass, she caressed Molly’s soft cheeks.

“Hey, you.”

--

Pan was gone from the room for the moment, but the aura she brought to the space lingered in her wake. Eleanor smiled at her pancakes and the conflict Cereza once felt about her role in everything vanished into mist. 

But Leslie... Leslie was elsewhere, rocked from one side to the other by the waves of guilt and duty. But in the very presence of Go-Go was a certain reassurance that not everything needed to but cut and dried. A reassurance she was not used to.

Agnes had to answer. Saga too. But Leslie, herself? She had yet to define her gifts...and how she would use them.

Leslie reached for her phone a retrieved the document she drafted the night before. Reluctantly, she slid the device down the table where it came to rest by Eleanor’s hand. Eleanor broke from her pancakes long enough to read enough of it to understand.

“You’re resigning?”

Cereza spun around, her eyes landing on Eleanor to track her expression to Leslie. In her whole life, she only heard of a Shadow successfully quitting once: herself. She laid her spatula down on the stove. “Is this about the rumor mill surrounding the exam--”

“I’m not resigning,” Leslie clarified. Her fingers interlocked and the bottom of her palms rested atop the table. “I’m just fighting with a few ideas. I see how conditioning was undone in Paris, and a few of the thralls at Nytt Tral Hus... and I’m wondering...with all the damage Agnes has done to God knows how many people, and the unethical practices Saga is guilty of...did either of them ever try to do something good with it the compound? And then I recall the mirror box method--the method of placing one hand beside the box and another inside it to help condition the mind and improve stroke and phantom limb pain. Our whole being is up here--” Leslie tapped her temple. “And we have the means to help make some real strides in psychological medicine.”

Leslie leaned back from her plate. “But then I remember that there’s only three of us. One of us conditions prisoners for a whorehouse. The other...” She stopped. For a moment, she fought with visions of Harley, of Paris...or Sparrow. There was no stopping the tear that fell. “Everyone that knows about Umbrae Somnia is poisoned against it. And with good reason. So...yea. The idea of quitting and vanishing for the good of...everyone...has occurred to me once or twice. But so has apprehending Agnes and Saga. As well as linking up with Elis Blomquist for a private therapy practice.”

Leslie shrugged. “I’m not sure what my options are.”

------------------------------ ------------------------------

Go go didn't speak for a long time. Mallory released her shoulder, sitting back, not wanting to crowd her. She had stopped crying.

"I hope you're right." She said finally, after a long while. The former bodyguard got to her feet. Mallory looked up at her, concerned. But Go go's shoulders were square, her face set.

"I think I'll take a walk, clear my head. Let the others know if they ask. I wont be too long."

Mallory nodded and watched Go go pace out over the damp field, her hands pushed into her dark jeans pockets.

Mallory knew Go go wasn't clearing her head; Go go couldnt bear to say goodbye to O-ren.

-

O-ren gave a small smile. "The word ninja may have come up." She confided wryly, but not unkindly. The sounds from the kitchen grew closer. "I think she holds you in high esteem already. And I welcome that. Go go needs people other than me to look to." The once crime queen looked a little sad for a moment. "...I've not been the best of influences."

Family.

The word made O-ren pause mentally, just for a half second. But it was long enough for Pan to pass them both at the bottom of the stairs, pressing a cool glass of milkshake into her hand. Her mouth opened and she tried to form a response. All she managed was a smile of gratitude, and then The Director was gone.

The kitchen beckoned, and O-ren drifted along the hallway beside Amy, taking a seat at the table and setting down the fragrant confection. Taking a moment just to appreciate it's vibrant colour. Looking up she saw Go go sitting outside on the patio, next to Mallory.

It all felt like a life she had once had. Years ago when she was very, very young. It hurt. The thought of leaving it hurt. But she had an obligation. Things unfinished.

"Good morning."

The soft English accent stirred O-ren from her interior. It was Floss, she had sat down next to her and barely noticed. She shook herself.

"I'm so sorry, I'm not quite awake."

Floss set a hand on O-ren's shoulder. "Take it slow. Everything is in place, your flight leaves in a few hours. There's time enough."

"Thank you. How's Go go?"

Floss shrugged. "Getting to know the latest Viper. I'd say it's going well, but that doesn't mean we let our guard down. While she's here, she will be looked after."

O-ren nodded with deep relief, sensing finally the exhaustion of the last few days and took a sip of the shake. Her eyebrows rose.

"That is a damn fine milkshake."

Leslie's potential resignation slid heavily across the table. Floss steepled her fingers and let the conversation move back and forth between the others before she spoke.

"I apologize Leslie, but I think you are forgetting one of your greatest achievements." Floss nodded discreetly through the window to the place where Go go had been sitting minutes before O-ren emerged into the kitchen. "With two renegade Somnia on our hands and god alone knows what else, I think you and your gifts..." Floss parted her hands in defense. "...Whether you consider them gifts or not...Are needed now more than ever. We need you."

-

Upstairs, Molly was aglow at the sight of Liss. She kissed her partners face.

"Hey you, I'm so sorry...I think I overslept so much."

Molly lifted the phone lightly from the nightstand to confirm that this was indeed the case but she just sighed, one hand on Liss' arm and the other trying to smooth her hair into something that didn't resemble a bird's nest.

"You know I think you were right, about me not running off to help Cyanne. Even though I'm sure I could." Her brow furrowed. "I think there's something else I can do, something...I cant quite get the shape of it yet."

Only then did her sleepy senses finally take note of the milkshake and she beamed, picking up the glass to take a gulp of it, as though it were manna. And who's to say it wasn't, it certainly tasted that way.

She set the glass down and squeezed Liss' arm.

"How are you feeling?"

[minjungfmd]

our beloved summer — interview

1. how would you describe your role in this project?

“kook yeon su is a special character to me. she’s hardheaded, but fragile. the more she sharpens her exterior, the more her interior breaks — that’s the sadness of the character within her history. take that to modern day where she feels like she’s crafted this firm persona, and all it takes is choi woong to realize that everything inside was already broken the second she let her heart go. i think that is what made this role so special to me.”

2. what did you learn from playing this role?

“i felt like kook yeon su and i had a lot of similarities, not the way most people would think at first. i learned a lot about what it meant to finally take away a veil when filming in front of cameras, and truly letting your mask fall as you succumb to whatever the character may be feeling in that moment — i think of it like a marriage. when kook yeon su laughs, i laugh. when she cries, i cry. we’re one in the same now.”

3. what was a memorable moment from filming this project?

“watching the rough drafts before the drama was very special to me, especially the one i recall on christmas night when it was given as a present. i loved the cinematography, the color. the ost, and everything that went in — i felt so much energy exhausted from this production. for once, i welcomed the exhaustion.”

4. how did this project and role compare to what you’ve done in the past?

“shin hari and kook yeon su are similar, but very different. they’re both strong willed and hard headed, but i think shin hari is equalized inside and out whereas kook yeon su offers a strong contrast between who she shows and who she is. 

business proposal was a very light hearted romance that anyone could watch, but i think it takes a special person to understand how much our beloved summer makes you cry at times. to understand the gravity and little details of what it means to say hello, goodbye then hello again to someone you love. makes you think a bit harder than business proposal.

5. why should people watch this project?

“to enjoy a story that’s dear to my heart.”

6. you’ve been linked to being good friends with your co-star since years past, how does it feel to be working on the same project?

“have i really known my co-star for that long? i suppose it’s interesting that it’s an acting project and not a musical one. i can only hope i’ve managed to live up to expectations considering he hasn’t acted in a drama in years.”

7. if there’s one thing you could take away from kook yeon su what would it be?

“as much as i think her personality is littered in charm, i don’t think that’s for everyone. so, i’d have to say her collection of coats and minimalistic clothing pieces — oddly enough, we share the same style.”

8. is there a favorite quote you found from the script?

“ i just wanted to see a you that only loves me. please continue to love me, and don’t throw me away.”

[akehoshimystar]

Sei SSR

A Banquet on the water where Cherry Blossoms are falling

Part 1

Sei: …..Now that’s a wonderful budget draft.

It's been just an hour since I visited the Administrative Dept. house. Thanks to Sei-san’s and Tsukimoto-san’s advice, I’ve finally completed the budget proposal for the event that I’ve been struggling with for the past few days.

Ito: Thank you so much. You've really saved me. Sei: I'm glad I was able to help you.

Sei-san smiled gently and reached for the tea. Tsukimoto-san brewed them for us before taking Okoge to his regular checkup with Ichikawa-kun.

Sei: By the way… I'm sorry for calling you out so suddenly. Ito: Oh, it’s absolutely fine. Sei: I thought at first that talking through Chattas or a call would be enough… But the lemon pie that Taiga made was such a masterpiece that I thought it would be a shame to eat it all by myself. Ito: I completely understand.

I answered right away, and Sei-san’s smile deepened.

Sei: After all, a relationship where we can share wonderful things is wonderful. Above all, I'm really happy that Yashiro-san placed her trust on me. Ito: (I hesitated a bit because I felt kind of sorry to ask him….. But I'm glad I took the plunge.) Thank you so much. Thanks to you, I think I can propose this to Kosaka-san with confidence. I feel a whole lot more secure knowing that I have the approval of Sei-san and Tsukimoto-san. It couldn’t get better than this. Sei: Fufu. Splendid.

Sei-san gracefully put the teacup on the saucer. "Now that reminds me." Head continued as if he had remembered something.

Sei: Did you see any cherry blossoms on your way here, Yashiro-san? Ito: …Cherry blossoms? Sei: There's one blooming out of season nearby. It's a phenomenon called reblooming or second blooming.

Ito: (I knew the term itself… But I guess it really exists.) Sei: If you have time, do you want to go and take a look? I'll guide you there if you like. Ito: (Since it was thanks to him and Tsukimoto-san, I finished my work earlier than expected…) May I take you up on your offer? Sei: Of course. Actually, I haven't seen it yet either. I was hoping to see it today. According to our night walker Haruhi, who went for cherry blossom viewing last night, it’s the sight to behold. Ito: (…Not only did I get to eat Tsukimoto-san's lemon pie, but I also have a chance to see such a view. Talk about being called at a right timing.) Sei: I’m looking forward to it.

Part 2

I was guided by Sei-san to the park in a residential area. There, out-of-season cherry blossom was quietly blooming.

Ito: (Wow, they're really blooming…)

I stood there in silence, admiring this beautiful and fantastical scene as if time was flowing differently.

Sei: …..”Mysterious, lively, and beautiful”.

Sei-san muttered to himself.

Sei: "There is a corpse buried under the cherry blossom tree!" It reminds me of the author who wrote that story. Ito: (That phrase sounds kind of familiar…) Sei: A short story by Kajii Motojiro. Some people consider it to be a prose poem. The sensibility of associating death with the sight of cherry blossoms in full bloom is what you'd expect from a novelist and poet.

As I tried to recall my memories, Sei-san explained to me in an easy-to-understand way.

Sei: The narrator wondered why he felt uneasy in the face of the incredible beauty of the cherry blossoms. Soon, he discovered that a corpse is buried under the tree, and that the cherry blossoms were absorbing nutrients from that body and blooming beautifully. This is also related to the saying "Fair is foul, and foul is fair.” Ito: (So that's what it is about.) Sei: …….If it were Yashiro-san….

A lively bark, "Woof!" echoed through the area, drowning Sei-san's voice. The owner of that voice was dragging its owner while wagging the tail energetically. Before stopping right under the cherry blossom tree.

Ito: (Huh? Is it digging for something…?)

Sei: Oh. Is it "Hanasaka Jiisan" this time? Ito: (Ah, it's the famous "Dig here, woof woof"…)

Woman: Hey! You can't dig here.

The owner was pulling on the leash in panic.

Dog: Woof, woof! Woman: Come on, let's go.

We exchanged a nod with that woman as we passed each other. Right after we saw them off…..

Sei: Oh my… It seems like that dog really did dig something up. Ito: (What could it be?)

At Sei-san’s words, I looked closely at that tree…. And saw something protruding from the shallow pit made by that dog. The flow of the story from earlier made me imagine something ominous.

Sei: Shall we go and check it out?

I followed him a little later, and saw Sei-san look into the base of the tree and chuckle happily.

Sei: Oh dear, what a sight. I wonder if a demon or a snake will appear.

Part 3

There was a dull, shining silver object over there.

Ito: What is this…? Sei: I think I need to see more details.

As Sei-san brushed away the soil, the item with four corners came into view. It was about A4 size.

Ito: It seems like there's still more buried underneath, maybe it's a box? Sei: Should be. And what are these numbers…?

His fingertips traced the eight digits. They were scribbled in black marker pen…. A date from last year.

Sei: It's more recent than I thought. Ito: …Sei-san, do you have any idea what this box is? Sei: Roughly. It's just a guess based on circumstantial evidence, though. This box was buried under a tree near a residential area…. Judging from its size, it's probably a steel container used to pack cookies or rice crackers. The date of last year is also written on the lid. Another interesting point is handwriting, it seems to have been written by a child. Ito: …Ah. Could it be….

I looked around and soon found what I was looking for.

Ito: There it is! The nameplate.

It was hard to read due to the rain and the wind, but I could make out the words "Commemorative" and "Children meet."

Sei: Good job, Yashiro-san It was probably placed near the box as some sort of mark. Looking at where the name of the park is written, it looks like it was buried with proper approval. Ito: So, this must be… Sei: Most likely, a time capsule. If we leave it like this, someone might trip over it. Let’s bury it back. Ito: I'll help.

We borrowed a shovel that is used to maintain the garden of the Administrative Dept. house, and buried the time capsule again.

Sei: I didn’t expect our hands to get this dirty. Why don't you stop by the house one more time before you go home? Ito: Sure. I'll take you up on that. Sei: Fufu. You look a bit more refreshing. Ito: Same goes to you, Sei-san. Sei: …Oh, really? I guess being covered in mud for the sake of keeping someone's memories is a beautiful thing.

Looking up at the falling cherry blossoms, Sei-san whispered. As I gazed at his profile, I asked the question I had forgotten to ask.

Ito: Now that I think about it, you were about to say something earlier…. "If it were Yashiro-san.” Sei: Ah… It's nothing serious, actually. I was just wondering if you would bury something under the cherry blossom tree and write something on it. Ito: Let’s see…. I think there is always someone’s memories under cherry blossom tree……. Uh, it’s a bit embarrassing to say since my wording is nowhere near sophisticated. Sei: I find it wonderful, actually.

For example, delicious food, someone's beautiful memories, etc. We shared such wonderful things as the cherry blossom blooming out of season was burned into our eyes.

Translator's note: Hanasaka Jiisan (花咲か爺さん) is a Japanese folk tale about an old childless couple who love their dog.

[theebeginningofwater]

8/27/1988, the last time remember rain

DRAFT 23 (Drafts 1 - 22 written from 2011 - 2024)

the last thing I remember

is walking with you from the green line train, on the west side of a borough enveloped in flames. I had no water in my shoes and feeling foolish, I wanted to put my arm around your shoulder

i tried for 23 years and cannot remember what you were wearing, only that I have loved pigeons ever since. And see them in moonlight, mine eyes (!), telling not one single soul. Until...

My hoodie was soaking in blood with the paths of those who came before us. It wasn"t enough. Needing stillness, my lips were spitting fire and guts and 23 years later i discover it was your neighborhood, i was a burning child, born in a bath tub, spilling my flames and blood across your neighborhood.I didn't know it, so yes. I have arrived to say, I hope you shot bullets through any thunder in ANY sky that EVER tried to show you another way. My darling, maybe now my hope is that you see something else. I cannot show you how to turn water from fire. I cannot even remove this tongue from this chain link separating my language from our continuing...

Darling, I remember trying to make a grilled cheese for you during a summer when I was knee deep in hell. Completely mistaken, feeling idiotic and crucified when I saw your eyes see me, when your lips said, with all the love I had ever heard, baby...you can turn down the heat on the stove. I didn't know what you knew, wanting to give you the sky. Having already brought wind, breeze. Except wind and breeze doss nothing for a house on fire. Except wind and breeze does nothing for black lungs getting blacker. And blacker: maybe I had to see the burnt toast, hear you say it, hear ever lasting life through the tone of your voice to realize I was licking at flames wigb a stolen tongue. Creating darkness all around me hoping that someone, anyone, would recognize a candles potential. Would realize the night sky is grandma's hands and she always blinks before the rains can begin...

Habibi, I have been waiting 23 years to tell you, I held your hand from the roots up and your smile is moving my heart towards renaming my own rivers and mountains, endless and uncontrollable

because the truth is. My wish was tarred. My west coast remains. My east coast is scarred with blue and white clouds, defending my west coast from the starved for money

We held an image of the future together on your bed, six months later you moved to your father's house and i tried to fit 400 years of my occuoied heart in a cage hoping to break allbyhe windows and burn yhe roof so your flowers would never allow themselbes to sulk beneath starlight...and I have been telling everyone I know (and anyone I do not) about your mother's baklava, from sea to shining sea. From the deepest sick lense id moon.

I am down here Habibi, to tell you. I cannot recall why those people renamed me. Us. I cannot recall why I knew some other way than this. I don't.

That you teach me the meaning of rivers and my enough is your hand in mine, because I was trying to see why some refer to the "full" moon as a round circle, when the thinnest pieces of myself are in remembrance of your hand in mine, ah, my hand in yours.

And when i look up from the pit of my stomach, i see an olive tree. Here in Chile. I hold my heart and ask your name for the leaves. I hold my heart and you tell me that olive leaves do stay with their branches. Even amidst the hatred of days. Even and all ways for lovers in the night.

From root up or from sky down. It doesn't matter. I hope your breath is light, may mine be shadow. I ask through the mirror of a still lake bed carrying our smile home from other shores.

First writing since successful resuscitation.

Casimir

South Chile And Infinite Stars Above and within

[shellyscribbles]

Hallendrest Scribbles

Older scribbles that I didn't manage to fit in this draft though I think it would have been a good approach.

              Reena rose and called after Kallias as he neared the door. “My lord,” when he turned she went on, “may I join you?”

              Kallias paused briefly before nodding. He continued to the door and opened it, standing to the side to allow Reena to pass. “You are my wife. You are always welcome in my chambers.”

              Reena laughed lightly as she turned back to him, “You say it as if it’s perfectly obvious. It isn’t obvious at all if you want me around or not at any given moment.” Her voice took a harsher tone as she finished, following Kallias as he passed her into the room.

              The king stopped and turned to study his wife a moment. She thought with a pang how Mircea used to do that before speaking, though their motives were likely very different. Finally, he lowered his gaze and gently tapped the table just at the edge of his reach. “I didn’t mean to give you the impression that I didn’t want to be around you. I always enjoy your company.” He glanced at her quickly before looking away once more. “You touched on a wound last night and I did what I always do, what I’ve always had to do. Had you followed me or refused to let me leave I would quickly have recalled how I value your company. I certainly recalled it after I’d left.”

              He tapped the table and dropped his hand to his side as he met her gaze once more.

              “I didn’t mean to bring up anything painful.”

              He gave a brief smile. “No, you didn’t know. You couldn’t know.” He turned and started to the soft chairs across the room. “Would you like some wine?” He called back to her.

              Her brow furrowed, “We’ve only just had breakfast.”

              He looked back at her and shrugged, “What else is there to do?”

              Reena felt her face flush as she considered one of the more obvious activities which they might engage in alone in his bed room. “We could talk?” She suggested hoping her face wasn’t as red as it felt.

              With another slight shrug he sat and waited for her to join him.

              “You desire intimacy with me.” He said when she was seated across from him. “I am trying but I have been alone my entire life. I’ve never had anyone in a position to be intimate with.”

              Feeling her face growing warmer, she looked at him in confusion. “I thought you were given a wife for fear of fathering an illegitimate heir?”

              Kallias raised his eyes from the spot on the carpet where he’d been staring. “Hmm? Oh,” he waved his hand as if to dispel the notion. “I am not sure how exactly to explain how un-intimate those encounters were.” He shifted forward in his chair. “I do desire that sort of intimacy as well, but I have,” he cleared his throat and shifted again, “some reservations.”

              “Reservations?” She asked, no longer aware of her blush.

              “I didn’t anticipate the council overlooking my wife. The idea of being married to a respectable woman with whom I can be myself never occurred to me. I imagined some sort of hell where we’d have a child and live in some sort of icy compromise.” He met her eye again. “I’ve not wished to see any of those women again. Immediately I despised them.” He resumed his study of the carpet. “I don’t want to feel that way about you.”

              At this Reena laughed drawing her husband’s attention back. “That’s it? Kallias, you hated them because it was false. They got you in reality, but they had no idea who you are. You used each other. You were exposed before them and got nothing but a brief,” she cleared her throat awkwardly, “thrill and then you were alone again.”

              Kallias stared at her in surprise. He hadn’t thought of that. The desire to be alone swelled within him. “I think that’s enough for the present.”

              “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to brush any wounds.” She said softly, making no move to leave.

              Obviously agitated, Kallias squirmed in his chair and wiped his hand over his mouth.

              “If you really wish me to leave,” Reena started to rise to her feet.

              “No, I…it’s difficult for me. I feel like it takes just as much effort to be honest and know myself as it does to maintain the facades and personas I maintain.” He settled back in his chair though his agitated air remained.

              Reena folded her hands in her lap and gave her husband space to think.

              “I want you to know me, but all of my instincts reach for a persona the way a drunk reaches for a glass of wine.” He paused, frowning, then shook his head and went on. “It seems so simple. It should  be simple to tell you about my life, but I choke on the truth like a gag.”

              “I had brought up your father last night.” Reena ventured when Kallias fell silent. At once she saw him struggling within himself again.

              “I,” Kallias began, “had a difficult relationship with my father. He loved me as best he could, as best as Vonterre royals can.” He paused, seeming to calm as he recalled the past. “I am a mage.” He met her eye before continuing. “A rather powerful one, duel inherited. Another oversight of the council no doubt, though with magic falling out of use I imagine it is easier now to miss if someone carries magic or not.” He shook his head with a frown, “but anyway, my father told the council I hadn’t inherited so when I found my powers when I was twelve, my father tried to keep it secret. Tried to stop me from using it.

              “I didn’t understand the damage magic did, not really, and it was the only thing that made me feel as if I had any power.” He looked at his wife without really seeing her as he recalled scene from his past. The feeling of the magic running through him. “I wouldn’t be persuaded.”

[hellmouth-manor]

but blood is thicker || mm.3 || elishama || re: olwin, micah

At the sudden arrival of those missing, Eli perks up in his seat, searching faces for-- yes, good, he's here, she's here too, he's covered in ohhhhhh dear god what is that.

In a vain attempt to keep his face from distorting too visibly, he sharply turns his head away.  Seems he's still a little squeamish... or maybe he's just trying to not derail by fussing over them.  He's not thrown completely off of his game, at least, so he clears his throat before looking back to his notes.

"If I may... expand a bit upon what Olwin said."

He flips back a couple of pages, before circling the entry he was looking for.

"They do apparently heal quickly and regrow, though only in their demonic form.  If they sustain injury as a human... they must switch to their demon form in order to recover."

His brow knits, as he glances up for just a second.  Then back down.

"And, if I may segue from that to the rejected execution proposal... if I recall, the email then recommended that they continue to..."

He frowns.

"... Test the executions, as opposed to drafting them.  Paraphrased, of course.  At any rate... if you put these two facts together... is it reasonable to conclude that the assistant in question can switch between forms at will, and can thus use this ability to test run the executions that were meant for us?  Possibly repeatedly?"

With a few hastily drawn arrows that make no sense, he puts his pen down.

"... Well, I suppose we will find out one way or another.  My, ah, my point is that, as Olwin said, the assistant is quite durable, and that... seems to have its uses for the staff."