#max was his secret boyfriend freshman year

[petes-5yr-cocoa]

yeah idk what to title this one we got a bit of everything bruv

+ shoutout to @ihavenoideamanokay for the wonderful idea that bailey & richie are related

richie has like 23.62 uncles now in my head & you can pry that from my cold dead hands

Those teenagers scare the living shit outta me

Putting the “fun” in “disfunctional”

[16lies]

message: saw jin seulki in seoul. they were playing tennis and sipping overpriced cocktails. i think they’re a graduate law student now? a lot of people say they’re kinda ruthless but they seemed super ambitious to me, tbh. they really look like moon gayoung and remind me of blair waldorf though wtf. thought you might want to know because i remember your post about them that said there’s a leaked sex tape of her threesome with her ex-boyfriend and his best friend on the internet. still can’t believe that happened six years ago.

hi, everyone! max here, with your neighbourhood ruthless bitch, jin seulki! ‪♡‬ a relentless and incredibly petty overarchiever, with a shaky moral backbone~ blair waldorf DUPE!

anyways, you know the drill - like this if you're down to plot and we can exchange discord tags (my preferred channel of communication)!! onward we go!!

tw: mentions of unconsensual sharing of explicit material

; basics

jin seulki, twenty five years old, currently a graduate law student (i know that law students are busy and would probably not have the time to engage in illicit activities but please suspend your belief for her)

graduated with a degree in political science @ korea university, now a first year law student in snu

scorpio sun, cap moon, scorpio rising

inspired by gg's blair waldorf & georgina sparks, gg reboot's monet de haan, mean girls' regina george - basically any scheming manipulative mean girl

lawful evil, estj

the prodigy, the hellkite

gossipgate subplot, blackmail skeleton

; background

youngest daughter to a politician father and a socialite mother

her father is old-gen rich, to the point that he doesn't really need to work for the rest of their lives so being a politician was more of a passion project. something to keep his lives entertaining and fight for

her mother, on the other hand, was from a middle-class family (think tom & shiv from succession), so she spent most of her life learning how to fit in with the elite

honestly, seulki hated her mother. hated her pathetic and desperate she was - all she ever wanted was the attention and everything she had was dependent on her husband and his money

so she swore to never be anything like her mother. wanted to make sure that she would never be in such a powerless position

doesn't matter if people get hurt or someone else suffers as long as she gets what she wants, as long as people remember she's the one in power

she plays hard too though, because who wouldn't when you have life's finest things at your fingertips

it catches up to her, however, when she is fourteen and she gets caught grinning and downing tequila shots in that infamous gyeonggi girls’ high school video

honestly, most people (her elder sister included) felt vindicated when seulki had gotten caught. a taste of her own medicine, they whisper, about time she gets humbled

everyone celebrates a little bit more when she doesn't manage to weasel and scheme her way out of it, because her parents see and hear about the video before she does. as a punishment, she gets sent away to some rehabilitation center while her father attempts to do damage control

she's lucky she's just a freshman, and she plays up the i've never done anything like this in my life i just wanted to be part of the cool kids story and manages to avoid any criminal proceedings

(does, however, manage to conspire up a way to leave the rehab center earlier than planned, because she shows up at her father's event, with her half-brother - a secret her mother doesn't know about. continues to leverage that over her father for the next few years)

gossip girl truly terrorizes her life for the next five years, and seulki learns to play the game. uses it to blackmail others, sends false tips about herself to throw them off her scent. she doesn't, however, try to find out the identity of gossip girl becuse she knows a vicious bitch when she sees one and gossip girl is one fucking vicious bitch she doesn't want to mess with

she thinks that the drinking scandal is the worst that could happen, until she falls in love with a boy and after a particularly wild night, agrees to a threesome with him and his best friend. and agrees to film it.

the video gets leaked, unsurprisingly and seulki breaks up with him. pays someone to get it removed from the all corners of the internet but gossip girl finds out about it

she denies denies denies because there is no proof of the video but shes deeply afraid that one day someone will manage to find it. even bad bitches have their kryponite and for miss seulki it's this video, a living reminder that love causes nothing but trouble

anyways she celebrated wildly when gossip girl disappeared but now that she's back... seulki won't let gossip girl ruin her again. not when she's this close to achieving all that she wants. she's survived it once, she'll survive it again

; personality

positive: ambitious, charming, calculating, relentless, determined negative: petty, insincere, vicious, nosy, insecure

ruthless bitch

obsessive overachiever with a shaky moral fiber

will smile to your face and stab you in the back - she has no qualms about that

not a fan of attention, which is ironic because she is a frequent feature on gossip girl. is a fan of her reputation of being a bitch tho

deeply enjoys inciting fear in people - she lives and breathes the motto 'you can't make people love you but you can make them fear you'. gives her a sense of power, which is what she has worked for her entire life

can be very petty. the smallest thing can set her off, hates the feeling of not being in control. will take it out on others just to get that sense of control and power back lmfao a little bit more dangerous now

she's very deeply insecure though; when you base your whole life on whether you can control others... it's not a good look lol

passive aggressive as fuck - i wouldn't say that she's outright spiteful and mean but rather, a lot of fake smiles and "your skirt is so cute" "that is the ugliest fucking skirt i've ever seen"

always up in people's business just cause she likes to have an arsenal of information with her

she can get be charming if she wants to

her biggest weaknesses are (a) her insecurities - very desperate for love she has never known. doesnt know how badly she wants or needs it until she gets a taste of it and she loses all rationality. then regrets it. then does it again. ironic because she spends her whole life trying not to be her mother, only to be just like her (b) how tightly-wound she is; the moment she lets loose, she goes absolutely fucking wild. she's very extreme lmfao either she's poised and calm or she's going absolutely feral

that's how she gets caught in situations like a leaked s*x tape and the drinking scandal (normally, she has enough blackmail to clean it up but there are times where even she can't save herself)

; wanted connections

familial

older sister - i don't have their dynamics down but we could either have a fun rivalry going on OR something where the older sister is the dark sheep, seulki never stops to rub it in her face

younger half-brother - hced that her father had numerous affairs, one of which led to her secret half-brother. should be around four years younger than her, seulki used to threaten her father with his presence lol could potentially be the only person seulki feels ~ protective ~ and affectionate towards

friends

ex boyfriend who was in the video with her

ex boyfriend's best friend who was in the video with her - would be fun if he was like in love with her lolz

bestie - someone she actually loves and would commit crimes for ‪♡‬ (probably a childhood friend, only open to one person)

the plastics - fellow gossipgaters who ruled the school together! (not that seulki would be the regina george, she'd be a little bit too young)

fellow gyeonggi girls high school student who knows that seulki isn't as innocent as she keeps portraying herself to be, that she willingly drank and partied. thinks seulki deserved worse punishment

frenemies - give me a blair/serena, rory/paris situation! forced to get along but secretly always competing with each other <3

rivals - plz be in an academic/tennis rivalry with each other!! not a frenemy thing but a straight up i'll fucking destroy you kind of thing. maybe seulki even tried to do so too? but failed? and that makes her hate you even more lol

fwb - but in a transactional way. having specific timelsots for each other, meeting at specific places, no feelings attached hehe

someone who did something v small and irrelevant to her but she was having the worst fucking day so she.... sent in a tip to gossip girl (fake/real) with her name attached ‪♡‬

[readingforsanity]

All My Firsts: A Spicy College Romance | Krista Swanson | Published 2023 | *SPOILERS*

Going away to college should be the best time of your life, but for Lanie Montgomery it’s an escape. After an abusive relationship leaves her distrustful, Lanie has no desire to be in one, let alone fall in love. 

While Lanie tries to avoid people, Xander continues to show up in her life around every corner. From the moment she lays eyes on him, a connection is made. Their passion develops into a bond that both scares and entices her. It’s turned into something she feels it shouldn’t have. 

But then her past creeps back in, her ex wreaking havoc on their lives. She knows Xander wants to save her, but she thinks he can’t. She feels she has to take care of herself, but everything starts to fall apart. Because...

The past. Always. Catches. Up. 

And it’s secrets haunt them both. Will their love be strong enough. 

To Note: I received this book as an ARC from the author Krista Swanson in return for an honest review. My honest review with be placed both here and GoodReads as per the terms of the agreement I made upon signing up. 

Additional Note: Please check the trigger warnings at the beginning of the novel. This one shows no mercy, and begins in the prologue! 

Lanie Montgomery has spent the last three years of her life in undeniable torture. Max has given her no mercy, and while it was her first “relationship”, Lanie struggled to even say he was a boyfriend. She wants to get out of this horrendous relationship, and college is her way out. Max isn’t the most agreeing to this, but “allows” her to go. When her parents take her away, she attempts to end things with him, but this is only the beginning and she is very aware. 

The first weeks in college are new to Lanie. She is experiencing freedom she hasn’t had for the last three years. But, due to the trauma that she endured at the hands of Max, finds it difficult to let go and truly become free. Her roommate Becca tries everything in her power to get her to open up, and finally, Lanie wants to make that same effort as Becca is nothing but persistent in her attempts to get to know her. 

Lanie is also introduced to Ty and Logan, also freshman, and the four of them quickly become friends, though it is clear that Ty and Becca want to be more, which they eventually become. For Logan, he has a crush on Lanie, which he makes it very clear but considering everything she went through, she does not reciprocate this. However, she is also introduced to Xander, an upperclassman who also lives on her floor in the dorms. He is gorgeous, and quickly becomes someone that Lanie can rely on. 

During one of Xander’s infamous room parties, Logan appears and is clearly very intoxicated. He ends up with Lanie alone, and tries to do things to her that are reminiscent of her time with Max. She begins to break down, realizing that she is unable to escape Logan’s grasps, until Xander sees and comes to her rescue. After Xander kicks everyone out, they talk all night, and Lanie opens up a little about her past, though doesn’t divulge everything. Xander also explains that he was abused as a child by the hands of his father, as was his older brother and mother. They finally did something about it and he’s been behind bars ever since. 

The two of them quickly become friends, as Xander wants to be there for Lanie during her darkest hours and help her overcome them just as he and his family overcame theirs. 

It isn’t until Max appears on campus and the two of them are forced to spend a weekend together that things begin happening quickly for them. They’re obviously attracted to each other, but neither wants to put a label on anything, especially Lanie, as she came to college not looking for a relationship. But, she can’t help herself with Xander. However, the more their intimacy grows, the more nervous she becomes but Xander is willing to take things as slowly as possible. 

Thanksgiving quickly approaches, and she heads off to stay with Becca. When they come back to school, it’s clear that Xander and Lanie are more than friends, and it’s obvious to everyone around them. Logan is doing his best to try to mend their frnedship, and Lanie is willing to give it a try but he is also dealing with his own troubles back home. 

With the winter break approaching, Xander offers her to come stay with him and his family, and Lanie accepts. She is welcomed with open arms by his mother, Jane, and his older brother Bryce who is also a police officer in their northern Virginia town. Lanie didn’t expect to feel a family feel, but nevertheless, she does. Towards the end of break, however, Max has found her and now Xander’s entire family is in danger. They take what they know to Bryce, who does his best to help them. They end up finding out that Max and his family have deep mafia ties, which is how he is able to have so many people on his payroll and to get away with what he does. They return to school earlier than they intended in order to protect Xander’s family, and Bryce begins working with the FBI on the case. 

Xander makes it clear that she is his endgame, but the day after telling her so, he sends a text to Becca letting her know that he needs to get away for a while, things are moving too quickly and he wants to spend some time at home and will work on school remotely while away. Lanie is devastated by this, as she can’t pinpoint anything out of the ordinary. 

However, Max comes to the school seeking her out, along with his friend Karl who had been keeping tabs on her earlier in the story. In order to protect her friends and Xander, who hasn’t uttered so much as a word to her since he came back to school, she goes to Max. However, Xander does try to stop her. When he confronts Max outside, she tries to release herself from Karl’s grips, who tells her that he’s trying to help her get away from Max and that he’s done allowing him to get away with what he’s done to her. But Max overhears, and shoots Karl, and Xander attacks Max. Bryce and the FBI appear, and take Max into custody. 

Lanie is told that Karl is in surgery, and she has a concussion when she hit her head on the side mirror of the car when she was trying to escape from Karl. Bryce comes to bring her home, and its clear that her relationship with Xander has ended, though we’re still unsure of what happened. 

In order to get away from the situation further, Lanie decides to join her parents in Italy before the end of the year, and return in the fall when things have calmed down and she and Becca can move into an off campus apartment. But, she’s devastated by being so close to Xander, the one person she thought she could trust. When she begins packing, he slips a note under her door, wanting her to give him one more day. 

A text comes through on her phone the next morning, and it is from Xander. She goes to him, and he explains that Max is behind bars and that everything is over. And he explains why: Max was threatening to have his father released from prison, so he had to get away in order to not only protect Lanie, but his own family. But Max is behind federal bars now, and will likely be there for the entirety of his life. 

Xander and Lanie get their happy ending after all. 

As mentioned, I was given a free copy of this book from the author. While not my normal go-to read, I was happy to help this author with providing my honest opinion. And honestly - it’s well done. The story line is a bit overdone (boy and girl have abusive relationship, she escapes and meets someone new and amazing, but then abusive boyfriend comes back). This Nicholas Sparks and several of the novels he’s written, but with some extra spiciness added to it. 

I’m not into smutty books, and while this wasn’t it, the descriptions involved in the sex scenes are ALA Christian Gray...just without the extra bondage. 

Krista Swanson definitely has a new fan, and I look forward to the next novel in the Blue Ridge University series. 

[passivenovember]

There’s an ugly bruise on the inside, somewhere, that’s got its fingers wedged between his ribs. 

“Can you keep a secret?” The guy asks, lips curled and curdled in the chill, gumming a thick dairy-rich smile he aims to spread over Steve like marmalade that’s gone bad. 

He’s never felt like this before. An itch, spreading under his skin, raising gooseflesh all along the back of his neck so his fingernails scratch along the rim of PBR Steve cracked hours ago to keep him from lunging at the guy’s sockets instead.

Billy’s boyfriend waggles his eyebrows.

Steve doesn’t say anything. 

He clocks the backyard, mostly empty now that everyone’s inside having apple pie with homemade ice cream, and wonders if he could get away with murder. 

Billy’s boyfriend looks around, leaning forward until Steve can smell turkey stuffing and brown gravy on his breath. “I’m going to ask Billy to marry me tomorrow,” He says.

And.

Maybe there’s a plane crash. Maybe it parades into an intersection at rush hour. Maybe it causes a pile up and a bus full of senior citizens plows into a hospital that’s dedicated to nursing sick orphans back to health.

Maybe the whole world burns down in two seconds.

Steve sips the PBR even though it’s gone flat. Even though he knows what’s coming.

“Will you help me?” Billy’s boyfriend asks, and.

Every time he breathes, Steve’s heart shudders in resistance. With every blink, microscopic parts of him break off and blow past the fairy lights in Joyce’s backyard, spreading to the four corners like seeds that hope against all hope that they’ll find somewhere to grow.

Steve’s entire life flashes before his eyes, and it’s just like the movies.

Light-leak film, sepia colored memories of Abraham Lincoln playground and Billy, covered in Cinderella band aids. 

Middle school dances where they ditched early to eat Chicago dogs at the only food cart in Hawkins. Freshman afternoons, studying with Billy in the library where the Golden-hour would turn him to folklore. 

Senior year, and college, and rush after homecoming bash after graduation, wishing and hoping Billy would look at him and realize that they belonged together.

And now this.

Now the end.

Steve rocks a little, on his heels, reeling like he just took a PBR can to the gut. 

Billy’s boyfriend stares at him, big brown eyes flooded with hope and pixie dust, and.

Love.

So much love Steve can feel it crackling through the air. It’s warm and pure and true. 

Exactly what Billy deserves. What Steve always wanted to give him--

“Congratulations,” Steve manages.

Because it’s what he’s supposed to say. How his mother always taught him to respond to good news, even if it sinks his own.  

He’s bleeding, somewhere. The words have spikes. They scrape on the way out. He finishes the rest of his beer. “Excuse me.”

“Sure,” Prince Charming says.

Steve stalks back toward the house. It’s warm inside. Golden, filled with warmth and laughter. All over the place, everyone’s cuddled up in knitted love made special from what they found at the end of the world.

Eddie and Chrissy, Nancy and Jonathan, Joyce and Hopper, Max and Lucas--

Paired off. Two by two, parading down the rose-pedaled isle Steve has always wanted for himself, and.

“Hey,” Someone says, smile draining slowly from their lips. “Steve, you okay?”

Steve doesn’t know who noticed him. Doesn’t care, he just. Can’t see Billy right now.

Ever again.

“Yeah,” Steve mumbles, searching for his coat. “Yeah, I’m just a little tired.”

Joyce dries her hands on a towel, brows plated with sachrine worry. “You don’t want to stay and help decorate the tree?”

He chances a look around the room and almost deflates in relief when Billy isn’t there, washing the dishes or packing leftovers. “I’m really sorry, I’m just so exhausted, all of a sudden,” Steve lies. He sniffles a little, for good measure. “I think I’m coming down with something--”

“Well, here,” Joyce tells him, rounding the kitchen table, “Let me pack you something to take home, since I won’t see you until Thursday.”

Steve makes it quick. 

Says his goodbyes with a fire under his ass, swallowing against the rising tide of panic and regret that he let his yellow brick road pass him by. That he didn’t do something about all the love he’s carrying for Billy when he had the chance.

No one seems to notice. 

They fall back into their own rhythm, filling the hole left by Steve and five minutes later he’s out the door, balancing Tupperware of Thanksgiving leftovers against his chest when a lighter flares red in the darkness.

“You leaving?”

Steve pulls away from the driver’s side door, stomach settling like cement around his ankles. 

Billy watches with narrowed eyes from the soft, romantic glow of the front porch. The soft blue sweater that protects him from the chill of Hawkins in November stands in staunch opposition to Billy’s face. 

His jaw is tight. Teeth on edge.

He’s uncomfortable. He’s caught on to something.

“Yeah,” Steve says quietly. “Yeah, I’m out.”

“How come?

Billy’s beautiful. 

And he’s always been beautiful, but Steve takes a snapshot of him, like this. Thanksgiving, full of turkey and apple pie and love that he doesn’t see coming. Silver on his ring finger. 

Steve shrugs.

Billy pushes off the side of the house, at that. His nose is red from the cold, eyelashes so long they look like pine thistles swirling against pools of blue when he gets close enough. 

“You can’t leave, yet,” Billy insists.

Steve’s already gone. He’s sold the house, maybe, bought a plane thicket--

“I’m tired.”

“That’s a dumb reason,”  Billy says quietly. “You get the weekend off for the holiday--”

Steve flares red-hot with annoyance. “I don’t give a shit about that, Billy, I came and had dinner and now I want to go home.”

“I never see you, anymore.” Billy stares at him, looks right into his soul. Ashes his cigarette, puffing on it even though his hands shake. From the cold, maybe. 

Steve doesn’t say anything. 

He grips the car door, resisting the urge to slam it in Billy’s face when he discards his cigarette and moves closer, thick, clever fingers fiddling with the collar of Steve’s jacket. 

“I can’t watch you marry someone else,” Steve says simply. “I’ve watched you love someone else for so long, but. I can’t do that. It’ll kill me.”

It feels good to say it.

He tucks a lock of hair behind Billy’s ear, aching to find it rosy with the cold.

Billy watches him, face dissolved into a single, sugary twist of pain. His eyes are blue. So blue they put the morning sky to shame. So blue they give Steve third degree scorch marks all across his memory, burning everything else to the ground until Steve cracks like a block of old cement. 

And Billy doesn’t look surprised.

Or shaken up, or all that heartbroken when he cups Steve’s jaw between both hands. 

Steve waits for him to say the words. I don’t love him, I love you. I want to be with you, let’s run away together. Come live with me and we can play pirates--

Steve doesn’t hold his breath.

[bigdumbbambieyes]

(This prompt turned into a blurb I got a little carried away I’m sorry 😅 enjoy this little ficlet I suppose and feel free to take the plot points and write your own)

Reader and Billy had been best friends practically their entire lives. Ever since he’d protected her from a second grade bully. He was only a first grader, and she was in kindergarten. When his mother left and Neil turned more of his aggression toward Billy, she started leaving her window open. He’d always sneak out and somehow make it to her house under his own power, even if he was half conscious. She would patch him up and read to him or sing to him while his sobs quieted and his breath evened out.

By the time they were in middle school she had to patch Billy up from getting in fights as well as the beatings he got from Neil. She’d been harboring a secret crush since she was eight, but she knew Billy wouldn’t feel the same, so she stayed silent.

High school came around for Billy when she was going into eighth grade. It didn’t take long for him to become the star of the basketball and wresting team, and she never missed a game or match. Billy’s parents never came to even one. Still he hung out with her, even when his teammates and friends made fun of him for hanging out with a middle school baby. Freshman year was pretty great for him, school wise anyway- he was still being abused. They started dating, and hung out as often as possible.

Soon Neil met Susan, which should have in theory made him lay off of Billy some. But it just seemed to make it worse. By the end of the school year he told her his family was moving. She started high school alone with no one to protect her. They stayed in touch with letters and calls for a while, until one day they just stopped coming.

Her tenth grade year she was able to move to Hawkins when her father took a job in Indianapolis. Right before Billy’s letters stopped coming he told her he’d gotten a job as a lifeguard, so she decided to surprise him at the pool but she saw a bunch of girls cuter than her flirting with him. She started to think that’s why the letters and phone calls stopped, even though if she would have thought about it logically she’d realize it was Neil’s fault. Even if he had met someone new, he would still have called and written her, he would have told her himself. They would have still been best friends. Just as she was about to turn and leave Billy looked up and saw her. The look on his face told her everything she needed to know. She ran toward him, ignoring the rules of the pool, and leapt into his arms, crashing her lips onto his.

It didn’t take long for her to realize that Hawkins Indiana wasn’t a normal town. Weird things happened all the time. But still, she was with Billy, so life was good. They fell right back into the routine of leaving her window open, tending to Billy’s injuries. She walked the hallways of Hawkins High hand in hand with the love of her life. She lost her virginity and welcomed a daughter. A gorgeous baby girl with insane amounts of curly golden hair.

Summer of ‘85 Billy started withdrawing from everyone including Max, her daughter and herself. In late June or early July, her friends who had lived in Hawkins their entire lives came up with a plan to see if her boyfriend was possessed. They told her that years ago Will was kidnapped by the same entity they suspected was now targeting Billy. They used her as bait to get him into the sauna. As she watched El fight him she was scared she’d kill him. When the young girl threw him through the wall of the sauna, and he didn’t get up, her heart stopped, until Billy got up and ran away. Even though it hadn’t worked, she was secretly glad that he’d escaped.

Her friends decided to make their final stand at the new Starcourt Mall, and she could hardly bring herself to come with, but knew that there was a very large possibility Billy wouldn’t survive. She watched him attack El, knowing if by some chance he survived, he’d be ashamed. Not only for what happened today, but all the deaths he was indirectly responsible for. When he attacked her, and she could feel the life draining from her little by little, she didn’t fight back. If he didn’t make it out of this alive she’d feel like she was dead anyway. Only thinking about their daughter, the life they’d planned together, made her want to live. So she tried to reach Billy knowing he was in there somewhere. When their memories didn’t work, she said the one thing that she thought would reach the boy she loved.

“Seven feet- the wave… the wave was seven feet”

i was so excited to see such a long message in my ask box this morning, honey!! and oh, i am such a sucker for reunion fics 🥹 there’s nothing better than returning to familiarity after a long time apart ♥️

i have to admit that i’m not the best person to write reader x character fics 😥 BUT i did make an attempt because i must try!! please let me know how i did! other than that, i will leave this lovely ficlet untouched because it’s perfect in its current state 🤍

also umm babe, this is an entire multi-chapter fic you’ve detailed!? 😲 it’s such a rich idea!

————

The air is hot and humid by the time you get to Hawkins Community Pool, parking your parent’s car as your hands grip the steering wheel tightly because you’re nervous. It’s been a while since you’ve seen Billy, or even heard from him, and you can’t help but wonder if this is maybe overstepping something. Showing up to his work unannounced? Even back in California you never did that. You always respected each other’s time and privacy, even if that time was usually spent with each other.

But. Your curiosity is winning over your common sense quickly, and while you still have the nerve, you kill the engine with a turn of the key and push the creaky car door open. It’s even hotter out in the open, sweat gathering a little on your top lip as you make your way towards the entrance of the pool, brows furrowed as you cover your eyes from the sun.

Getting in is easy. You pay whatever small fee it is and go inside, surveying the pool and it’s patrons, eyeing the kids screaming and splashing in the pool while their mothers pay no mind to them - no, they’re too busy paying attention to the lifeguard coming down from his seat.

It’s Billy.

Your stomach flips and drops, makes you lick your lips nervously as you watch girls immediately swarm him. He’s golden and blond, like he had been back in California, and he’s still stupidly gorgeous when he smiles. The moustache is interesting, you can’t help but to note - until a girl places her hand on his arm and he doesn’t shrug her off.

You stop dead in your tracks then, staring at Billy as a thought crosses your mind.

Maybe that’s why he hasn’t written.

Because he’d written every week, like clockwork. Every Friday afternoon you’d come home from school and read what he had to say, because there was no way Neil would ever approve of a long distance phone call. He’d update you on life in Hawkins, ‘Bumfuck, Nowhere’ as he called it, and he’d detail how he missed you and how he couldn’t wait to move back after graduation. But, you forget all of that in this moment.

You want to turn. To leave. To forget that this stupid spontaneous idea ever crossed your mind, because you were rational and this isn’t who you are, no. You should’ve approached him at school during lunch, but you didn’t, because you were too goddamn desperate to see him and feel that familiar warmth that would spread through your chest whenever he looked at you.

But, look at him now. Smiling at those girls, each of them wrapped around his finger, and of course they were. Why wouldn’t they be? You think maybe he’s better off this way. Adored by many, not by you. Maybe this is what he wants now.

Maybe that’s why he stopped writing.

That rational part of you reminds you of Neil, though. Maybe he’d kept the letters from Billy? Thrown them away before Billy could open and read them? You wouldn’t put it past the bastard, no. He had never approved of your friendship and relationship.

But then Billy laughs at one of the girl’s jokes and it’s enough to make you doubt yourself again.

So, you turn to leave, ready to leave this moment behind you, when your eyes lock on those ocean blues. As stormy as a rainy day on the beach, as they always have been, and Billy sees you. That look of recognition crosses his face and his lips part in shock, eyes softening in that familiar way that they used to when you’d crawl through his bedroom window late at night to comfort him.

It’s that single look that has you running to him. The shrill ring of a whistle falls deaf on your ears as you go, seeing him step towards you before you’re leaping into his open arms. He’s even stronger than he used to be so he holds you up easily as your arms wrap around his shoulders in a fierce embrace, pressing your face to his neck as he squeezes you tight.

He murmurs your name into your neck quietly in disbelief, like he’s afraid that you’re a ghost, before pulling away just enough to press your lips together in a kiss - something so full of yearning that it makes your chest ache. His lips are soft and warm, the gentle scratch of his moustache is welcome against your lip, and the scent of his sunscreen and cologne is comforting and familiar - like coming home.

And you smile into the kiss, relieved, because how could you ever doubt this? Doubt him?

Especially when he whispers against your mouth, his voice quiet and thick with emotion, “I missed you so much…”

“I missed you, too,” you whisper in return, feeling like your heart is going to beat right out of your chest as he pulls away to admire your face and how it’s changed, or hasn’t.

“Heather! I’m taking my fifteen!” He calls as he grabs your hand and leads the two of you away from all those glaring, jealous stares - both of you smiling the entire time.

[pawnshopbleus]

If This is the End, I Want a Boyfriend - Part Two 

Steve Harrington x Fem!Reader 

summary - Vecna is after you and it’s Steve's mission to make sure you're safe.

warnings - angst, then comfort, fluff, happy endings, emotional trauma, mention of reader having an abortion, Vecna is pro-life (ironic) ☹️, yes the reader does have to cry in almost every story I write, finally some kissing, Max is kind of like a little sister from another mister.

word count - 2.6k

Read part one before you read this one! 

The living room you had grown all too familiar with was filled with people you knew. Nancy Wheeler, Robin Buckley, Dustin Henderson, Max Mayfield, Lucas Sinclair, Steve Harrington, and Eddie Munson were all spaced out in Steve’s living room. 

When you arrived, you were kind of wary about Mr. Munson due to the fact that he was the last person who was seen with Chrissy while she was alive. After the party explained that Eddie was innocent and that Chrissy was killed by Vecnas curse. The same Vecna that was now after you.

“Well that’s just fucking great isn’t it. Do you think I’m going to have an open or closed casket at my funeral?” you slumped on the couch. You recounted the many rumors of the state of Chrissy’s body. Her limbs were twisted, many bones were broken, and her eyes were missing.

“We're not going to let you die. If we do, Steve will literally kill us,” Dustin reassured you.

You noticed that while everyone was talking amongst themselves Max, seemed to be a little quiet. You walked over to her and offered her a small smile.

“What’s going on in that head of yours?” you leaned against the door frame which was opposite where Max was sitting on the floor.

“Nothing. Just thankful for my friends,” she answered. You could tell by the way she didn’t make eye contact with you that she was lying.

You sat next to her, “You know you can talk to me right. We’re going through the same thing right now,” you put your hand over her hand, which was shaking a little. You guessed that it was due to the added stress her mind and body were under.

“Follow me,” Max got up and began navigating her way through the Harrington house. You got up and followed the younger girl but once again Steve stopped the both of you.

“Where are you two going?” everyone's attention was now directed toward you and Max.

“We’re just going to talk. We’ll be fine but if we’re not I’ll make sure to let you know,” you winked and began to follow Max as she walked into the guest bedroom. Steve sat back down and resumed the conversation he was having with Dustin.

Steve really didn’t want anything bad to happen to you. You two had been best friends since basically the day you were born. The two of you told each other everything and the fact that you had a secret that you weren’t telling him bothered him a lot. He hoped you knew that he wouldn’t judge you no matter how big the secret was.

“Are you even listening to me?” Dustin waved his hand in Steve’s face. Steve shook his head and brought himself back into reality. Steve nodded his head and Dustin resumed talking. As the conversation dragged on, his mind kept going back to you. All those years of friendship made you feel like an integral piece of Steve’s heart. You mattered so much to him, more than any hair product or bat with nails in it.

The memories of high school flashed in his mind. The countless nights that you would spend in his room playing board games or listening to music or just talking about life made his heart soar. He remembers the many nights he would stay up late at night thinking about you. During the summer before freshman year, he started to develop a crush on you. He thought it was just because you guys spent most of your free time together but; as the time went on it grew more serious.

Freshman year went off without a hitch. Steve didn’t tell you about his little crush and you didn’t tell him about yours. You two just danced around each other and kept your mouths shut the entire time. In sophomore year, Steve began to doubt himself. He was always very confident when it came to women but with you it was different. You were his best friend not just some chick he met while in gym class. He became enamored with every girl around him because he knew he wouldn’t be able to have you. Sophomore year is when Steve Harrington officially became known as a heartbreaker.

Junior year is when Steve met Nancy Wheeler who at that time was a sophomore. She was a soft, nerdy, yet beautiful girl who caught Steve's eye. She reminded him a lot of you but the only thing she was missing was that sass you possessed. At that time, you were hopping from boyfriend to boyfriend to fill the ache you had for a certain someone. Steve noticed around that time that you began to grow more distant. You stopped showing up at his house on Friday nights to watch movies and you never really talked much when he drove you to school in the mornings. Steve shouldn’t be bothered with the way you were acting. He had Nancy and that’s all he needed.

He noticed that you and Nancy had grown close over time. You two were editors for the Weekly Streek which was the Hawkins High newspaper. He guessed that you two spent so much time together because you were a girl and had grown tired of being friends with a boy. He couldn’t offer the advice you needed when it came to womanly stuff. He understood but that didn’t mean he wasn’t jealous.

One Friday night, you finally appeared at his door for the first time in months. Your eyes were puffy, your arms were wrapped around your waist, and you looked like you were about to vomit. Steve let you inside and asked you what was wrong. He didn’t mean for that question to make you cry again but it did. You cried and cried and cried and all he could do was hold you. He didn’t push any further so he simply let you cry into the hoodie he’d been wearing.

You had grown tired of all the events that transpired that night and you fell asleep right in Steve’s arms. He laid you on the couch and brought you a blanket from his room. He went into the kitchen which housed the yellow telephone and rang your parents.

“Hello, do you know what time it is?” the familiar voice of your mother whisper-yelled into the phone.

“I’m sorry to call you this late but I just wanted to let you know that she’s here with me,” he whispered back.

Your parents trusted Steve enough but they were caught off guard a little. You said you were going to Nancy’s that night; which was true but when Nancy had to leave the clinic due to a family emergency, she left you a phone number to a cab agency in town. You would have phoned a cab, the only problem was that she didn’t leave you any money. All the money you saved up went to the abortion cost so you walked. You knew that your parents would chew the Wheeler's heads off for letting you out this late so you walked to Steve’s house. His house was close and your parents trusted him.

You told Max everything. Just like how she had told you everything. You recounted the memories of high school. The boys, the test, the grades, the parties. You found yourself opening up around Max. She was like a younger sister you’d never had. Sure, Nancy was a year younger than you but she always acted ten years older than you. With Max, you felt this urge to hide and protect her from the world. You didn’t want anything bad to happen to her so when you saw that tears began to fall when she told you about her past you collected her in your arms. Your hand began to run small circles on her back as she cried onto the purple blouse Mrs. Wheeler gifted you last Christmas.

Max looked at you with puffy red eyes, “You need to be honest with Steve. I think he deserves to know how you feel and what happened that night. You owe it to him.”

“We aren’t talking about Steve right now,” you raised your brows.

“I know. I just-there are so many things that I want to tell Billy that I won’t be able to. You’ve been best friends with Steve for years. I think he needs to know before it's too late.”

“Since when did you become the smart one?” you smirked which made her smile a bit. You pushed yourself up off of the floor and held your hands out so that she could lift herself up. The both of you walked out of the guest bedroom.

“Girl talk finally over,” you stuck your tongue out at Steve who turned away from Dustin to look at you and Max. Max went and sat down next to Lucas who just looked at her. You found their dynamic cute. You hoped that everything would work out for Max in the end.

“Steve, can I talk to you for a sec?” you had seen the small smile flash over Max’s lips as she made eye contact with you. You nodded your head in the direction of Steve’s bedroom. He’d followed behind you which earned him a wolf whistle from Robin.

Steve’s room was dark once you entered it. He turned on the floor lamp behind his door which illuminated the space. The lighting wasn’t great but it would do. You sat in the blue bean bag chair that was located in the left corner of his room.

“So, you wanted to talk?” he sat on his bed.

“Do you remember junior year?” you got straight into it.

“Ya, that year was,” he paused for effect, “eventful.”

“You can say that again,” you chuckled as a small smile spread over your face. Then you remembered why you were here and the smile slowly fell.

“What’s wrong?” Steve slowly got off of his bed and crouched down in front of you. He was now at eye level with you.

“That day I came to your house. The day after I had basically ignored you for two months I did something. Something that to many would make me seem like the worst human being in the world,” you said. Your eyes were starting to get glossy from remembering all the events from that night.

“What? Did you kill somebody?” his eyes began to widen.

“No,” you interrupted. “I found out I was pregnant two months before that night. I didn’t tell my parents and the only person that knew was Nancy. I knew that she would be able to keep a secret.”

“Who got you pregnant?” he was asking all the wrong questions.

“Not important. Back to the story,” you couldn’t get sidetracked.

Steve nodded his head, “I told Nancy and she said that whatever decision I made she would fully support it. I was only seventeen and still in high school. I couldn’t support a child when I was still a child myself. After a day of brainstorming ideas, I decided I would get an abortion. I knew that it would be a wise choice, not only for me but also for the thing growing inside of me.”

“So you got the abortion?” you nodded your head, “You were seventeen meaning still a minor. Who signed the consent forms then?”

“Nancy. She’s a great liar,” you smiled.

“So why did you show up at my house that night?”

“I was so overwhelmed with all the emotions I was facing. I knew I couldn’t go home because I told my parents that I would be at the Wheelers all night and I knew that the Wheelers had a family emergency so I couldn’t stay there. I knew you’d be up because we used to hang out around that time. Your house kind of just seemed like the best idea,” you replied.

“Was this your secret? Is this why Vecna's after you?” he tilted his head and put his fist under his chin. He looked like the definition of confused.

“Probably,” you slumped back on the blue bean bag chair.

“Is there anything else you need to tell me?” the air around the two of you became tense after he asked that question.

You looked up at the ceiling for a while. Fuck it you thought. If you had a demon chasing after you, you might as well tell your crush that you’ve liked him forever.

“I like you,” you were still staring up at the ceiling. You were afraid to look at him. Meanwhile, Steve was internally screaming.

“What?” god did you really have to repeat yourself.

“I shouldn't have said that,” you got up but were forced down back into the chair by Steve who was now standing in front of you. He grabbed your chin and made you look back at him.

“Repeat yourself,” he was now in your face, staring right into your soul.

“I. Like. You,” each word was spaced out as you tried not to pass out from the way you were feeling.

Steve said nothing and only looked into your eyes. He slowly let go of your chin and sat back on the floor in front of you. The tension was even thicker now that you just confessed to liking your childhood best friend.

“For how long?”

“Too long,” the poor boy was trying to process everything from the day. First, you get possessed by Vecna, then you tell him that you were pregnant and had an abortion, and then to top it all off you confessed to having a crush on him since the dawn of time.

“Come here,” he opens his arms and extends them towards you. Now, you're in the same position you were in that night you came to his house. This time, he was rocking you softly.

“Do you remember sophomore year during lunch? It was a few weeks after school started and the new Avengers comic had just been released. You brought your copy to school and we completely geeked out over it. And at that moment I knew that I would never find a girl like you. You were incredibly nice, talented, funny, smart, and beautiful. We liked all the same things and it was basically like we shared a brain. You were my best friend and I thought that if I told you that I liked you, our friendship would be ruined. Then I saw you kiss Jake Ryan after school and that crushed me, dude. I got lost in the emotions I was feeling so I started dating girl after girl but I knew none of them could ever amount to you. Not even Nancy.”

You looked up at him, your eyes were soft and gentle. “Can I kiss you?” the question was blunt but it still got to the point.

Steve nodded. You took his head in your hands, your thumb swiped over his cheek, and made its way to his lips. You slid your thumb over his lips all while you looked into his eyes. You bent down to kiss him. Your hands found a place around his waist while he slid his hands under your shirt and up your back. His hands slowly made their way up to your bra. He easily undid the clasp which didn’t surprise you because it was Steve Harrington then you remembered it was Steve Harrington.

You broke off the kiss, “I just want to make sure that you're serious about this. I’m not a one-and-done type of girl. If we're going to do this I need confirmation that this,” you motioned between the two of you, “will go further than just tonight.”

“I can assure you that whatever happens, I'll be there for you. Always." 

Fin

[lovelylevity]

A Risk Without Reward/Maxwell Lord x Reader

Synopsis: It’s been ten years since your passionate college relationship with Maxwell Lord. You can’t sleep and your mind wanders to Max.

Warnings: Nothing risqué! Basically pure angst...

Author’s note: I have been going through an awful case of writer’s block, but after listening to Lucy Dacus, I finally had enough energy and creativity to put some words on a page! This lil fic is based off of her song “Addictions”, (which I literally could not recommend more!!). I don’t really know what I wrote, but I’m honestly proud I just managed to write anything at all, lol.

Word count: 640

-

You toss and turn between your silky sheets. You can’t sleep. Usually the television would provide some welcome white noise on sleepless nights like these but ever since Maxwell’s commercial went live, you lost the peace that came with your tv. You check the digital clock on your nightstand- 2:00 am. 2:00 am with nothing to do but stare at the ceiling. It was one of those days where you couldn’t stop thinking about him. Maxwell Lord was your college boyfriend, and it felt a little pathetic to admit that some nights you can’t sleep because you’re thinking of him. It’s been 10 years since you graduated. You’re an author now, a New York Times bestselling writer for crying out loud, a well-adjusted adult with a respectable job.Still, on nights like this one you still feel like that nervous kid walking into freshman orientation. You remembered that magical July, riding shotgun through the Pacific Coast Highway, watching the crystalline waves shimmer as Max sang along to American Pie. You sent so many nights parked by dingy hotels, cradled into each other, watching the stars and the airplanes, but mostly catching not-so-secret glimpses of each other. Who knew one day it'd be so hard to have him by your side?Max was the most ambitious person you’ve ever known, obsessed with making sure every second of his day is productive. That was interesting to you in college, his ambition fueled your own. It was as if you would both reach the stars you looked up to all summer long, side by side as soon as you both graduated. But Max’s ambition quickly caught up to him. Soon you realized he viewed you the same way he saw the business ventures, were you a risk without reward or did you make him proud? This is usually as far as you let your mind wander. You know yourself, if you picture him for one second longer you’ll bury yourself in a hole of nostalgia. But even worse, you’ll start to wonder what if. What if you ignored his faults? What if he climbed next to you in bed right now and looked at you with the same love he had 10 years ago? What if you were interesting enough to keep him captivated? But you weren’t. God, it’s strange how easy it is to forget all the shit he put you through. No matter how far you travel, you always return here. This crossroads between you and Max. A path you’ve been down countless times, a choice you’ve already made. Yet, here you are once again, now floating before your landline, your fingers ready to call him again. You’ve done this before, you know he’ll pick up. Maxwell loves a challenge. You have a signing tomorrow, you have to rest. You pick up the glossy plastic phone. A yawn escapes you. You insert the first three digits. The linoleum floor is cold, your sheets are still warm. The next three flee your fingers. You take a step back, the phone still in your hand. You check the clock again- 3:30 am. Tears now silently stream down your face. You force the phone back on the hook. You might call but you shouldn’t. You’re addicted to him, to his voice, to his approving eyes. The approval you haven’t felt in a very, very long time. He might pick up, but he shouldn’t. He was addicted too, addicted to the way you needed him. Addicted to the way you craved his approval. You know how good he feels when he hears your voice, how strong it makes him think he is. Today you make the choice to no longer let him control you. To release all those years of senseless waiting, to force his grip free. You go back to bed and finally, sleep finds you.

[thelastspeecher]

Best Revenge AU - Masks

I think like a week ago, I mentioned I was working on a write that featured Angie getting a bit more agency in the Best Revenge AU.  Here’s that write, finally finished.  Enjoy some of Angie’s backstory in this AU and her being more than just someone that things happen to.

——————————————————————————————

              Angie and Max sat high up in one of the tallest trees in the apple orchard.  It was the only place on the McGucket farm with some semblance of privacy.

              “So…” Angie started hesitantly.  Max looked at her.  His straw-blond hair had gotten shaggy recently, to the extent that Angie didn’t know how he could see through his bangs.  “I, uh, I heard back from West Coast Tech.”

              “And?”

              “I got in.”

              “You-”  Max’s jaw dropped.  “Angie, that’s amazin’!”  Angie smiled. “I actually just heard back from my first choice school, too.  University of Southern California.”

              “Where is that?”

              “Los Angeles.”  Max beamed.  “Which ain’t that far from San Diego.  We won’t be livin’ in the same city, but we won’t be that far apart.”  He suddenly looked down at the branch they were sitting on nervously.  “That- that is- if ya want to stay together.”

              “Of course!  I want to keep datin’ you!” Angie said.  She scooted closer to him.  Her fingers intertwined with his.  “Why wouldn’t I?  I’m in this fer the long haul, Sprout.”  Max grinned at his pet name, derived from how his abrupt growth spurt last summer had catapulted him from Angie’s height to almost a full foot taller than her.

              “Good.  ‘Cause I’m in it fer the long haul, too.”  He took a breath.  “And, actually, since the both of us don’t have plans on breakin’ up anytime soon, I wanted to share a secret with ya.”

              “Oh?” Angie said curiously.  “What would that be?”  Max pulled something out of his pocket and handed it to Angie.  Angie looked down at the object.  It was a small rock.  Before she could ask why he’d given her a rock, it flew out of her hand and back into Max’s.  She stared at him in shock.

              “I’m a super,” Max whispered.  He held out an open palm.  The rock hovered above it.  “Specifically, I got geokinesis.”

              “…Wow,” Angie breathed.

              “And…”  Max swallowed.  “I want to use my abilities to help people.”  Angie’s excitement plummeted.  “I want to be a hero.”  The last bit of hope Angie had held onto, that she had somehow misunderstood what Max meant, crashed.

              Oh, no!  Angie’s breath caught in her throat.  A hero?  But... She thought back to the plans she and Lute had come up with to enter the villainy scene out west.  They were both eager to follow in their parents’ criminal footsteps.  I can’t be a villain if my boyfriend is a hero.

              “Angie?” Max asked hesitantly.  “Is somethin’ wrong?”

              “No, I just- this is a lot to take in,” Angie said quietly.  She looked down at the ground far below them, her mind still racing.  “Bein’ a hero is, it’s-”

              “Yeah, it’s dangerous.  But I feel like I was given my power fer a reason,” Max said. Exuberance colored his voice.  “I don’t want to waste it.  Y’know?”

              “Yeah…”

              Can I really give up on bein’ a villain fer Max?  Before Angie could think on it more, there was a loud crack.  The branch they were sitting on split in two.  Max let out a shout.  Angie quickly wrapped her arms around him, summoning winds to keep them aloft. They hovered a few inches above the ground for a moment before she carefully lowered them.

              “Yer a super, too,” Max whispered.  Angie broke off the embrace.

              “Yeah.”

              “That’s incredible!”  Max put his hands on the sides of Angie’s face.  “May- may I kiss ya?” he asked.  Angie nodded.  Max leaned in, planting a sweet kiss on her lips.  “I knew you were somethin’ special,” he said once he had pulled away. He stroked her cheek.  Angie leaned into the gesture, warmth spreading through her chest.  “We could be heroes together!”

              “No,” Angie said sharply.  Max seemed taken aback, but recovered quickly.

              “I understand.  It ain’t fer everyone.”  He smiled at her.  “I love ya somethin’ fierce.”

              “I love you, too,” Angie said.

              But do I love him enough to give up on bein’ a villain?

              “Now that I think about it, maybe it’s fer the best if yer not a hero,” Max said.  “I couldn’t bear to see ya get hurt.”  Angie stood on her tiptoes to kiss him.

              Yes.  I do.

-----

              Angie landed in the backyard of the house she and her husband had bought back when they first got engaged.  She watched her flower garden mournfully for a few moments.

              I poured so much love into this place, this relationship.  And I’m ‘bout to leave it all behind.  The back door opened.

              “Angie, is that you?” Max called.

              “Yes.”  Angie walked over to her husband.  Max smiled at her.

              “I’m glad yer home.  I was startin’ to get worried ‘bout ya,” he said softly.  He kissed her cheek.

              “I can take care of myself.”

              “Angel, I know yer very capable.  But even the most prepared person can get hurt,” Max said. The familiar words sparked Angie’s simmering anger.  She brushed past him roughly.  “Angel?”

              “Don’t call me yer angel,” Angie spat.  Max followed her inside.

              “What’s wrong?” Max asked, closing the door behind them.  “I thought yer walk or flight or whatever would’ve cooled ya off.”

              “It did.”  Angie turned to face him.

              “Good.”  Max sighed. “I hate when ya storm off all angry fer some reason.  And it’s been happenin’ so frequently lately-”

              “‘Fer some reason’?” Angie demanded.  “Max, I have told ya each and every time I’ve left why I’m doin’ so.  So, either ya aren’t listenin’, or ya don’t think my reasons ‘re valid.  And quite frankly, I ain’t sure which one’s worse!” Max walked up to her.  He stroked Angie’s cheek.

              “I’m sorry.  I’m sorry, okay?” Max said soothingly.  “Angel, I don’t want to fight.”

              “I don’t want to fight either,” Angie said. She took a shaky breath.  “Which is why I can’t do this no more.”

              “What do you mean?”

              “I’m leaving.”

              “Wh- but you just got here.”

              “Not-”  Angie met Max’s gaze directly.  “Not like that.  Max, I want a divorce.”  Max’s amber eyes widened.  One of Angie’s favorite ways to get Max to blush was to say she wanted to drink him in, just like the cream soda his eyes reminded her of.  Her heart broke at the memory of all the times she’d turned him red and stuttering.

              “What?!  Angie, no! No, we can- we can work through this!” Max desperately reached for Angie’s hands.  “You don’t- we-”

              “We can’t work through this,” Angie said softly.  “It’s clear to me now that what you want and what I want contradict each other.”

              “That ain’t true!”

              “It is!” Angie insisted.  “You want a baby right away and a wife who’ll stay home to take care of him or her.  I don’t want to leave my job, I don’t want a baby right now.  If we stick together, only one of us will wind up happy, and the other one ‘ll be bitter.”

              “That’s not- Angie, please!” Max begged.  He squeezed her hands.  “Remember the first time we danced!”

              Freshman year of high school.  Yer friends dared you to dance with me, mine dared me to dance with you.

              “Our first kiss!”

              Under the mistletoe during Christmas break, when ya came over to play games with Lute, but wound up helpin’ me bake treats in the kitchen.  You tasted like the sugar cookies we made together.

              “When we went to college!”

              We spent every weekend together, stayin’ up late and wakin’ up early just so’s we wouldn’t waste a single minute with each other.

              “Our wedding!”

              When you lifted my veil, ya looked at me like I was the sunrise. A single tear traced its way down Angie’s cheek.  Like I was the most beautiful woman in the world, and the only thing in yours.

              “Don’t you remember?” Max asked.  Angie choked back a sob.

              “I do remember.  That’s the problem.”

              “What- what do you mean?”

              “You aren’t the person you were when we made those memories together.”

              “What?” Max whispered.  Angie pulled her hands away.

              “You’ve changed, Max.  The memories I hold most dear are all from when ya encouraged me to be adventurous, when ya followed me into trouble without a thought, when ya asked ‘fore kissin’ me.”

              “Do you want me to ask before I kiss you?  I can do that.”

              “It’s just an example.”  Angie looked away.  “An example of how ya used to care about my opinion.  Ya don’t anymore.”

              “That’s not-”

              “Don’t lie,” Angie snapped, suddenly driven to her breaking point.  “If ya cared ‘bout my feelin’s or thoughts, we wouldn’t be havin’ this conversation!” She turned away.  “I’m grabbin’ a bag to stay at Lute’s fer the night.”

              “No!”  Max grabbed Angie’s wrist.  “Don’t leave!”  Angie let out a soft gasp of pain at the strength of his grip.

              That’s goin’ to leave a mark, ain’t it?

              “Let me go,” she whispered.

              “No.”

              “Let me go,” Angie repeated firmly.  “Or I’ll make you.”

              “How?” Max asked.  Angie ground her teeth.  She stomped on Max’s foot, making him yelp in pain.  Using the moment of surprise to her advantage, she ripped her hand free of Max’s grip and grabbed his arms, twisting them behind his back.  She shoved him to the ground.

              “That’s how,” she spat.  “All those times ya told me I was too fragile to walk down the street at night, I was actually capable of takin’ down a trained superhero.”

              “Where did you-”

              “It ain’t yer business where I learned how to fight.  If I planned on stayin’ with ya, maybe I’d tell ya.  But since I’m leavin’, I won’t say a word.”  Angie let Max go.  He stayed on the floor, still in shock.  “And since ya can’t behave yourself, I’m goin’ to Lute’s now.  He’ll drop by later to pick up some things fer me.”  Max slowly sat up.  He looked up at Angie with plaintive eyes.

              “Angel…”

              “Eat shit,” Angie snarled.  She stormed out through the door she had entered not even ten minutes ago.  Before she took flight, she looked down at her wrist.  Like she’d feared, the skin was already turning purple.  Bile rose in her throat.

              “Angie!” Max shouted.  A gust of wind blew the back door shut, then lifted Angie into the air. Tears streaming down her face, she looked back at the house one last time.

              “Goodbye, Sprout.”

-----

              Angie and Stan sat on the roof of Stan’s apartment complex.  From their spot on the ledge, they could see the city bustling far below.  Angie idly kicked her legs, which, like Stan’s, dangled over the edge, high above the streets.

              These shoes better not fall off ‘n hit some poor pedestrian.

              “I like the view,” Angie said idly.

              “Yeah.  It’s kinda weird, actually,” Stan said.

              “That ya like the view?” Angie asked.  Stan nodded.  “Why?”

              “When I was a kid, I was afraid of heights.”

              “Really?”  Angie stared at her boyfriend.  “Ya don’t seem the type to be easily spooked.”

              “Flattery, huh?”

              “No, truth.”  Angie tilted her head, smiling.  “Yer a rather brave feller.”  The compliment got her intended reaction.  Stan immediately blushed.  “So, what made ya stop bein’ afraid of heights?”

              “Well…”  Stan rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly.  “I stopped being afraid of heights when I realized I could use my powers to fly. No point in being scared of falling if you won’t ever hit the ground.”  Angie opened her mouth.  “Yeah, I’m, uh, I’m a super.”  Stan held out his hand.  Fire crackled into life above his open palm.

              “Oh, I knew that,” Angie said.  The fire disappeared.  Stan stared at her.  “I was just goin’ to say that now I know yer at least a level two, if not level three pyro.”

              “How- you- what-” Stan stammered.  Angie smiled.

              “Not to insult you or anything, but pyros ain’t exactly rare.  I know how to spot one.”

              “Oh.”  Stan grinned. “Makes sense you’d be able to spot a super, since you’re one, too.”  Angie’s jaw dropped.  “Don’t get me wrong, you’re pretty good at hiding it.  But there’ve been a few times where you get worked up, and suddenly it’s really windy, even though we’re inside and all the doors and windows are closed.  You’re an aerokinetic, right?”

              “Yer more clever than ya claim to be,” Angie commented, still reeling from Stan’s revelation.  “Especially since aerokinesis is a pretty rare power.  Most folks don’t even realize it exists.”

              “My mom knew an aero,” Stan said with a shrug. He took a deep breath.  “But me being a super isn’t the only thing I need to tell you.”

              “Oh?”

              “I’m also a mask.”

              Shit.  Angie’s blood ran cold.  It would be just my luck if I’ve only ever dated two people and they were both heroes.

              “If ya don’t mind me askin’, which, ah, side do ya fight on?” Angie asked carefully.  Stan winced.

              “The illegal side.”  He held up his hands.  “I know you’re probably the kinda person who doesn’t like the…law-avoidant community.  But-”

              “I don’t mind none.”

              “Wait, really?”

              “Ya don’t do any of the really bad stuff, right?” Angie asked.  “Just things like theft?”

              “Mostly, yeah.”

              “Then my statement stands.  I don’t mind,” Angie said, struggling to keep her response mild.  Stan gaped at her.  “Yer a good man, whether ya steal or not.”

              He’s a villain!  He’s a pyro villain.  Angie searched Stan’s face.  Oh, he’s prob’ly that coworker Lute likes.  What’s his name?  Flamethrower.

              “You really don’t care I’m a villain?” Stan pried.

              I prefer it.

              “Nope.”  Angie smiled sweetly.  “I care ‘bout who ya are as a person.”  Stan smiled back.  “But I do have a question.”

              “Shoot.”

              “Why are ya tellin’ me this?  We’ve only been datin’ fer a month.”

              “My gut said I could trust you,” Stan said with a shrug.  “My gut’s never been wrong.”

              “That’s why ya felt comfortable tellin’ me,” Angie said.  “Not why ya told me.”  Stan eyed her.  “If ya don’t want to share, ya don’t have to.  But don’t dress up an answer I didn’t ask fer as the one I did.”  Stan managed a crooked grin.

              “Damn.  There’s no fooling you.”

              “My folks raised me right.”

              Any villain worth their salt has to be good at controllin’ a conversation.

              “Well, you figured out I was trying to get out of telling you, so I guess you’ve earned the answer,” Stan said, rubbing the back of his neck.  He sighed.  “My mom was a hero.  But she didn’t tell my Pops until she already had three kids with him.  She didn’t even tell him she was a super.”

              “Really?  That seems…” Angie paused to search for the right word.  “Ill-advised.”  Stan snorted.

              “No shit.  Pops woulda liked some warning before I burst into flames while he was holding me.  That’s how my powers manifested.  Pops was drying me off after a bath.  I caught on fire.”  Stan snickered.  “Luckily, he hadn’t drained the tub yet, so he chucked me back in and shouted for my mom. Mom had to come clean after that.”

              “Does pyrokinesis run in yer fam’ly?”

              “Nope.  Not even close.  My mom’s got your basic ESP package.  Shermie’s a normie.  And Ford’s got some weird teleportation thing.”

              “Who are Shermie and Ford?”

              “Shermie’s my older brother.  Ford’s not important.”  Stan looked away.  His voice suddenly became mournful.  “Not right now, anyways.”  Angie put her hand on his shoulder.  He looked at her with a weak smile.  “But, um, back to the stuff with my parents.  Shermie says that their marriage wasn’t exactly ideal before, but after Pops found out she was a superhero and kept it from him, it got worse.  I like how things are going, Ang.  I don’t wanna keep a big thing from you and risk you leaving me.”  Angie reached for Stan’s hand and intertwined her fingers with his.  “This is the best relationship I’ve ever been in.”

              “I’d say the same, but it ain’t as great a compliment, since I only ever dated one person ‘fore ya,” Angie said.  Stan chuckled.  Angie squeezed Stan’s hand.  “Thank you fer tellin’ me.”

              “Like I said, my gut says I can trust you.”

              “Yer gut is right.”  Angie grinned deviously.  “I ain’t no snitch.”  Stan laughed again.  Angie leaned against him, her head on his shoulder.  “I love you,” she whispered, for the first time since she’d left Max. Stan rested his head on top of hers.

              “I love you, too.”

[lambourngb]

Ooooooh an update on the This Hard Love series ☺️☺️🧡🧡 ?

I have literally 3 more scenes to write to wrap this up- it’s so close but I’m also trying to finish my rough draft of my big bang by Wed night... so hopefully I can get this finished off next weekend. 🤞

Here’s the last scene I wrote: 

****

“It’s been too long, what if she’s hurting him? Do we even know what the long term effects are on humans with alien mind control-”

Michael winced at Max’s annoyed glance, reminded again how little his brother thought of Kyle Valenti, past and present, before placing his hand on Kyle’s arm to attempt to calm him. Seated stiffly in one of the formal dining room chairs, knee to knee with Isobel, was Jim Valenti, currently caught in her mindspace as she examined his intentions. Candles were lit all around lending an otherworldly glow to the scene.

Meanwhile, Alex was in the kitchen on the phone to an electrician, while Max’s partner Jenna Cameron swept up the broken glass from the ceiling pod lights. The revelation that his boss was aware of who and what he was triggered what Michael called a ‘Max Special’.

“Hey remember Coach Collins?” Michael prodded Kyle.

Not taking his eyes off the scene in front of him, Kyle replied distractedly, “What?”

“You wanted to know about the long term effects on humans, I’m tryin’ to tell you. Isobel never attended gym class for a reason and Coach Collins is just fine.”

“Are you telling me your alien sister- wait, of course she would. She was also homecoming queen as a freshman.” 

Michael squeezed Kyle’s arm in acknowledgment before letting go. “See? You’ve got nothin’ to worry about.”

“Unless your dad is planning to round us up,” Max put in quietly with crossed arms. The secret expanding to include three more people was still not sitting well, even though Max had been somewhat resigned in knowing that Alex was one of three. Their past relationship, the way Alex had helped temper Michael’s feelings toward Max after graduation, had bought a lot of goodwill with Max.

“He’s not,” Isobel replied, suddenly coming out of her still trance. She immediately reached for her handbag to dig out a bottle of nail polish remover to drink from, causing Kyle to make an aborted move to stop her. “We’re not considered threats in his opinion, we’ve been too humanized by our adopted parents. Michael was on the radar for a little while after high school, but-” Isobel gestured toward the kitchen where Alex’s voice was barely audible. “True love mellowed him out, neutered him so to speak.”

“Isobel, that’s- you’re taking that out of context,” Jim protested, as he rubbed his eyes tiredly, ducking the concern from Kyle. “When you kids were found, of course I knew what you were, but I never said anything to the Project. You were all so frightened, but trusting. I thought, violence is learned in a lot of ways. Sp Michelle and I did our best to find you good homes-”

“Seriously? Fucking nature versus nuture shit?” Michael took a deep breath trying to push down the sudden rage. “Your principles suck man, you let me, the fucked up and agitated one, the one was scrawling on the walls, rot in the foster care system. I was considered too much work to be adoptable, you’re lucky I’m not a serial killer after what humans put me through.” Abruptly he realized that Alex was at his side again, a comforting strength to lean on. 

It was Jim’s turn to frown, “Michael, you weren’t the one considered unadoptable at the group home.” His dark eyes flickered toward his protege and back to Michael. Max pushed himself away from the wall, his arms uncrossing slowly as the meaning sank in.

“It’s true, I saw it in his mind,” Isobel smiled sadly. “Max was the wild one, but you took the crayon from him, Michael. You took the blame.”

“Ann and Dave are good people, I knew that they could handle Max, raise him with love and understanding, and they did.” Jim straightened, his shoulders firming in resolve and meeting Max’s wounded expression, “You’re a good man, Max. I’ve watched you grow up and be a fine police officer, honorable to the core. You may not like what I did, but I stand by it.”

“Right,” Max spat out with a thick voice, “I’ve been blaming myself my whole life for leaving Michael behind, feeling guilty that I got the family, and you’re telling me that I was right to feel that way, that it was my fault.”

Michael cleared his throat, feeling Alex nudge his shoulder gently as his mind raced over the possibilities. The familiar irritation of past fights flared up, sparked as always by Max wanted to martyr himself over Michael’s life. Old feelings stirred with the new information, wounds that still bled slowly inside, raked rawly anew. The time to deal with that was after.

“We can debate our fucked up family dynamics later, the important issue is there’s a prison full of our people being held by the military and we need to figure out how to save them.” The focus of the group returned to Jim Valenti, as Michael stepped closer to the sheriff. 

“Um, before we move off of fucked up family dynamics, why did you decide to kill my dad now after all these years? He’s been a monster from day one, which you knew, so I’m just curious about the timing.”

The Sheriff shifted in the chair, as Kyle leaned forward with interest. Once again, Isobel spoked up, “He got tired of being blackmailed by your dad, Alex.”

“Blackmail?” Kyle echoed.

This time, Jim beat Isobel to the disclosure, getting up to approach his son directly. “You know I’m not a perfect man, that I made mistakes in the past, and Jesse knew-”

“I know you cheated on Mom, okay?”

“There was a child-”

“Wait, I have a sibling?”

“Had a sibling. Yes. She was murdered in 2008 by an alien.”

Michael bit his cheek deeply, not daring to look at Max as the penny dropped for him during the tense exchange between Jim and Kyle Valenti. The source of Jesse Manes’s hold on Jim Valenti was Rosa Ortecho. He wondered if Liz had known that her high school boyfriend and her sister shared a father. That was drama on the level of a morning talk show that sported thrown chairs and DNA test revelations. 

[clericbyers]

learning to heal (part 4)

excerpt: Mike wouldn’t let his shitty mood affect the happy air surrounding the Party. He wouldn’t be the one to make everyone upset because he had to spazz out like in the last month of freshman year when he panicked in the middle of a celebratory dinner because the waitress kept giving him looks like she knew his darkest secrets. Like she knew he liked boys and found one of his teammates cute enough to be a little flustered about it. Like she knew he and his friends were monster hunters and got 30 people killed during the summer of ‘85.

length: 4.5K words

POV: Mike Wheeler

Read on AO3

Master Post

tag list: @vaugency , @lifeinvirtualreality , @princestanley , @lgbtqbyers , @smhbyler , @ticomat , @lightswriting , @lithhiums , @lullabyers , @byers-remorse, @cstlebyrs, @lomlbyers ♡

——————————————

“You took your time getting here!”

Mike rolled his eyes as he, Will, El, and Lucas skidded to a stop by the driveway to Dustin’s house. He was sitting on the curb with his bike and angrily glared at the late quartet. Lucas gave Mike and Will the stink eye as he bounded off his bike to stand by Dustin.

“You can blame Will and Mike; they took their sweet time getting to my place as if I don’t live a few houses away.”

Will shrugged and started biking in small circles in the driveway. El was gripping onto his waist and leaning her head on his back as he went by. “Sorry we’re late, Dustin. Mike and I went to bed later than expected and got kinda distracted when we woke up.”

“Distracted by what?” Lucas snorted. “Dust mites? The way sun filters through Mike’s shitty drapes? The feeling of blankets on your skin?”

Mike and Will exchanged a look, a look that screamed of guiltiness, and Dustin groaned. “Does it really matter what they were doing? We need to get Max and leave before the diner gets too full and starts making Mike antsy.”

Will halted his bike near Mike and he watched El’s grip on Will tighten more. “Antsy?”

“Yeah. Crowds sometimes get to me, but it’s not a big deal.” Mike shrugged and turned toward Lucas and Dustin, who raised suspicion-arched eyebrows at his words. “What? It’s really not a big deal.”

“You threw up in the back of Steve’s car just thinking about the crowd during your first relay race. Oh also, we tried to go to the movies to watch The Voyage Home last month and you spent half the movie in the bathroom doing breathing exercises.”

Lucas started laughing. “Oh my god, I still remember Mike’s face when he came back and saw the humpback whales and Spock’s headband and got so confused.”

“Hey! Look, the humpback whales part made no sense.”

“I told you already, Mike,” groaned Dustin, “Spock and Kirk needed to find the whales that sang at the same frequency as the probe since humpbacks are extinct in the future.”

“It’s still stupid! Same with Spock saying ‘the hell’ every five minutes. I didn’t miss much of anything being in the bathroom.”

“Well, I like The Voyage Home . It was a good conclusion to the trilogy.”

Mike turned on Will with an exaggerated gasp. “You wound me, Byers.”

“Are you really gonna stand here and let Will get away with acting like TMP doesn’t exist?”

“Yes, Lucas, I am, because that movie sucked ass.”

“This is why I’m a Star Wars nerd!” cried out Dustin as he stood up. “We can all at least agree that The Empire Strikes Back is the best of the three.”

Silence took to the air. Mike spoke up first. “Actually...”

“Finish that sentence, Mike, and you won’t have a tongue to continue it.”

El giggled from behind Will and Mike turned to face her out of instinct. She noticed his gaze but didn’t make eye contact and continued to stare ahead. Something in Mike broke a little seeing El unwilling to even just give him a smile. He knew he had no right to be upset over how she took the breakup even if it has been months already, he knew he broke her heart this past summer and he too was still pained by the ordeal, but he had hoped at least that maybe when they saw each other face to face it would be a happier occasion.

Will reached out to squeeze Mike’s arm and then turned back to Dustin and Lucas. “Let’s go get Max, then. She can give us a tie breaker opinion if we need it.”

Max was not enthusiastic about being asked to choose which Star Wars movie she thought was the best and mostly kept saying Return of the Jedi just to annoy Lucas. Will biked next to Mike when El transferred to Max and rode with her toward Main Street. Mike kept sending his boyfriend glances during the ride and he was always a little flustered when they happened to make eye contact and Will’s lips lifted into a small shy smile. There was something refreshing in being able to turn to his side and find such comfort as he did in Will as a best friend and as his significant other.

Mike couldn’t wait to tell the Party about how much he loved Will, about how lucky he was to fall for someone as kind and caring as the other boy. Even better, he was so extremely lucky that Will loved him back. It was nice to have this private happiness for himself and Will to share in by themselves—well, his mom and Will’s mom knew but they only ever exchanged knowing smiles whenever they caught Will and Mike standing a little closer than usual and trying to sneak cheek kisses when they passed each other by—but Mike was beyond ready to tell his friends.

Lunch was normal as usual: rowdy, loud, and uplifting as hanging out with friends usually went. Sometimes they were all so happy and normal that Mike could forget about the dark thoughts ruminating in the back of his mind, the memories that threatened to consume him when he closed his eyes to darkness. He could forget that no one knew what he hadn’t done to save people, no one knew that the monster built from the bodies and blood of their neighbors that terrorized Starcourt was a product of negligence.

It was weird how survivor's guilt worked. Mike never thought he’d really be faced with the troubling issue but he couldn’t help feeling like if they had done more, if he had focused more on what Will was facing, on what Dustin had found with Cerebo, maybe they could have saved more people. Maybe then the young couple from five houses down wouldn’t have been absorbed into a flesh monster and have their autonomy ripped from them as they melted into the single-focused mind of the Mind Flayer. Maybe then El wouldn’t be powerless, fatherless, Mikeless—not that he was the only person El lost but their closeness and desire to be together was a huge part of both their lives and losing that affected both of them.

Mike sighed to himself and closed his eyes as he leaned back in his chair. Will, who was sat across from him, nudged Mike’s foot with his own and sent him a concerned look. Mike smiled back—he was fine, just thinking too hard—and nudged Will’s foot in turn. Will nudged twice, Mike nudged twice, and then they kept playing footsie under the table until Max called them out for shaking the table. Dustin then tried to have a soda chugging contest with Lucas and won with Max’s encouragement, which made Lucas playfully salty and he brooded for a good minute and talked only to El, who humored him lightly.

Will ordered a milkshake to share with Mike while the others chatted excitedly between themselves about the New Year’s celebration and fireworks that would be happening where the fair was usually held. Mike would much prefer to stay indoors watching Dick Clark count the ball drop, but he knew social interaction and connection with his friends was what he needed most. He had already spent so much of his freshman year avoiding people whenever possible; the only reason why his friends knew about his therapy sessions and medication was because they ran into him the day after he missed school and pestered him for details. Mike couldn’t even give a good reason as to why he didn’t tell Will and El, too, why he left them in the dark despite the fact they were the most important people in his life.

Mike squeezed his eyes shut and flexed his hands on the table. Now was not the time for this. He wouldn’t let his shitty mood affect the happy air surrounding the Party. He wouldn’t be the one to make everyone upset because he had to spazz out like in the last month of freshman year when he panicked in the middle of a celebratory dinner because the waitress kept giving him looks like she knew his darkest secrets. Like she knew he liked boys and found one of his teammates cute enough to be a little flustered about it. Like she knew he and his friends were monster hunters and got 30 people killed during the summer of ‘85.

“Mike,” Will called out and the soft tone brought Mike back to the table and the conversation. The vanilla milkshake stood between them untouched and he frowned. He didn’t remember hearing the waiter stop by at all. Was he that entrenched in his thoughts to block out all other senses and trap himself in his head?

“You good?” Lucas asked from Mike’s other side, chewing on a fry as nonchalantly as possible.

Mike nodded. “I’m good. Just distracted.”

“We were just talking about X-Men, it’s no biggie,” added Dustin. “Max got some comics and has been reading a few to El so we wanted to discuss some fave runs.”

Mike’s brain was blanking on him. He couldn’t even think of anything concerning X-Men besides Professor X and Cyclops. He shrugged and turned to the milkshake to occupy his mouth so he didn’t have to actually offer an opinion. He could feel Will’s eyes on him and he looked up while slurping at the shake and made eye contact. Will rolled his eyes but his cheeks were flushed and the sight made Mike smile a little. He nudged Will under the table and mouthed I love you as best he could while blocking the side of his mouth from Lucas next to him.

Will’s smile grew more and he tried to hide it behind his straw but he fell out into giggles and caught everyone else’s attention. Dustin rolled his eyes and stage whispered to El beside him, “They’re back at it again, using that secret best-friends-since-we-were-five telepathy.”

Mike stuck his tongue out at his friend after a small chuckle. “You’re just jealous that all it takes is one glance from me for Will to lose his cool.”

“Hey, I’m not that easy to break.” Will retorted with a small kick under the table. Mike pretended it hurt more than it actually did and moaned as he dramatically grabbed at his ankle.

“My ankles are and I kinda need them for track!”

Will sputtered and then fell out laughing again. Lucas was cackling into his fries and Max was helping him by patting his back when he started to choke from laughing so hard. El was watching Mike, he could feel her eyes on him, and he chanced a glance with a small smile he hoped didn’t look like a grimace.

El maintained eye contact for about two seconds before she blinked and reached over to steal a few of Max’s fries. Mike considered it a success and turned back to finish his milkshake with Will. On the ride back, Mike and Lucas rode side-by-side in the back while Will and Dustin rode together up front and El and Max rode between the two pairs of bikers. Lucas was silent for a while before he spoke up with a huff.

“So, you and Will finally pulled your heads out your asses and hooked up.”

Mike nearly biked into a tree from the shock of the sudden statement. He coughed heavily and then gave his friend a glance. “What makes you say that?”

“You have a very expressive face,” the other boy chuckled to himself. “It’s how I knew you weren’t doing too hot in a really bad way even before you went to the doctor.”

Mike bit his bottom lip. “I know you don’t want me saying thanks or whatever but I really am glad you stuck with me through that.”

“What else would I do? You’re my friend and friends don’t ditch each other when in need.” Lucas smiled. “We’ve been friends far too long; I don’t care if you’re a jock track star now, to me you’re still goofy ass nerd Mike Wheeler with the fattest crush on his equally lovesick best friend.”

Mike laughed and felt a little warmth in his chest from the comment. Lucas was always blunt and direct, which is probably why he worked so well with Max, who was equally as blunt and direct. Lucas was just as loyal as anyone else in the Party and he and Mike has been friends the longest only after Mike and Will. Mike loved him so deeply and trusted him just as much.

“Was it that obvious?”

Lucas cackled. “Are you seriously asking that question? Dude, I thought you were gonna die when Will announced he was moving. And the way you spent practically all the rest of that summer at his side? Mike, you may be oblivious but Dustin and I have eyes and we use ‘em.”

“Dustin knows, too?”

“I don’t think he knows you two are together now but yeah, he knows you like Will.” Lucas shrugged. “It was kinda just a part of the group dynamic, you know? You two liking each other and always dancing around it as if we couldn’t tell, as if you each didn’t know yourselves.” The boy huffed with a smirk. “Dustin and I used to joke about what excuse you two would pull out of a hat for Will to stay over.”

“There were never any excuses!”

Lucas laughed again. “I know but it was fun to guess. Point is, hell yeah we know. I love El and really wanted you two to work things out because you each make each other happy and you deserve that. We all do.” Mike nodded solemnly. “Still, there was always a part of me that hoped that maybe, just maybe, you and Will could find happiness together like before the Demogorgon.”

“Wow.” Mike slowed his bike as they rolled down a hill. “You know, speaking of the Demogorgon, I think I’m gonna tell my mom about everything that happened.”

Lucas gaped. “You’re what ? I thought you were gonna keep that locked up forever.”

“Yeah, but…” Mike glared at the ground. “She helped me and Will get together. She wants me to be happy and the only way that’s gonna happen is if she knows why I’m not.”

“Well, at least you’re admitting it now.”

“That I’m dating Will or that I’m depressed?”

“Both but I meant your depression.” Lucas sighed. “I know you don’t like talking about it and you like pretending that life doesn’t terrify you, but it’s okay to speak up with us. Me, Dustin, and Max. We want you to feel better, too. Don’t forget that.”

Mike’s voice was a low whisper when he replied. “I know. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize, man,” groaned Lucas as he scuffed his tire against the curb, “Friends don’t need apologies or whatever for being friends.”

“I know, but—,”

“Shut up, Mike, and let it go, alright?” The boy sent Mike a warm smile. “You love to talk but right now just, I don’t know, listen and find comfort in that, yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“I said shut up.”

Mike rolled his eyes and steered his bike toward Lucas, who yelped and sped up his pace to avoid collision. Mike laughed and watched Lucas catch up to Dustin and Will loudly exclaiming how Mike was trying to run him into the snow. The rest of the ride to the Wheeler’s was spent in silence but Mike could feel the anxiety bubbling inside as he thought about what he would tell his mom. Will parked his bike beside him when they arrived, gently gripping his arm while everyone also attempted to suspend the inevitable split up caused by arrival.

“Good luck,” Lucas muttered when he hopped off his bike to give Mike a hug. “Call me if you need anything, alright?”

“Of course, dude.” Mike chuckled and hugged his friend back. “See you tomorrow.”

El hopped off Max’s bike and made her way to Mike and Will with a small hum. Max waved goodbye and the three watched their friends bike away as the chill of winter sank into their bones. Will shivered and Mike grabbed his hand to lead him inside, turning to hold out a hand for El as well. She blinked twice and frowned but took his hand, too, gently twining their fingers in a promise that the anger and heartbreak wouldn’t keep them from being friends. Not for long at least.

With his closest friends’ hands in his own, Mike felt courage seep into his soul and feed him the strength he needed to tell his mom the truth behind his misery.

“Mom,” he called out shakily, Will’s grip tightening with much-needed comfort.

His mom was upstairs but she came down at the sound of Mike’s voice and smiled warmly as she saw him holding hands with Will and El. “Mike,” she started happily, “I’m assuming the lunch meet went well.”

“Really well,” Mike shuffled on his feet and sent El a glance. “I, uh, I actually need to tell you something really important. And you can’t tell anyone else.”

She raised her eyebrows and tentatively sat down on the couch. “You know I won’t tell anyone about...about you liking boys. I’ll love you still, I do love you still.

Mike coughed and looked upstairs in hopes that his dad wasn’t eavesdropping. “No, I mean, I do but that’s not this conversation.”

And what a weird thing to confess about so easily. Mike liked boys. Only boys. And he confirmed it so easily like any other ‘yes or no’ question. Something in his gut churned, a mixture of relief that his mom truly didn’t care and loved him still, and fright that he confirmed aloud that his attraction to boys and boys only was real.

“What’s going on, Mike?”

The boy turned to Will and then sent his mom an apologetic glance. “When Will disappeared in ‘83, he didn’t just disappear. He was kidnapped by a monster from another dimension that got to him through a gate El opened with her mind.”

Mike’s mom blinked twice and then started laughing though she tried to hide it with a hand to her mouth. “Is that the story you kids told yourselves to deal with the fact he was missing?”

“No, Mrs. Wheeler, it’s real.” Will lifted up his shirt just enough for the burn scar to be visible. It made Mike sick to think about it, think about how they had to burn the Mind Flayer out of Will. “This scar isn’t from the stove. The monster possessed me in ‘84 and my mom and Mike and Hopper helped excise it from me. El closed the gate, too.”

“And then in ‘85,” Mike swallowed the lump in his throat, “the monster came back and...it melted our neighbors into a machine made of human flesh, blood, and bone. The gate was reopened and Hopper died trying to close it.”

“I was the one who found Will,” El spoke up hesitantly. “I found him in my mind. I can find anyone in my mind.”

Mike sent her a smile. “El has really cool powers actually; she can flip cars and levitate objects and I actually hid her in the basement during ‘83 while Will was missing.” Karen’s jaw dropped. “I’m still amazed you didn’t notice.”

“Can she,” Karen turned to El with curiosity. “Can she demonstrate?”

El shifted uncomfortably and Will spoke up. “Her powers are gone now thanks to the monster but it’s real. It’s all real.”

Karen blinked multiple times, eyes darting between the three kids with disbelief written in her eyes. She settled her gaze on Mike and crumpled. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

Mike was stuck between surprise that she accepted everything so easily and guilt that he kept this to himself for so long. “I legally couldn’t; the US government is involved in all of this,” he waved between himself, Will, and El, “but you deserve to know why...why I needed therapy. Why I can’t sleep at night, how me and El met in the first place, why I fell apart when the Byers left. Why I’m so fucked up.”

Will’s grip on his hand tightened just enough and he presses himself closer to Mike’s side as a comforting force against his rapidly declining thoughts. Karen stood up and made her way to Mike with tears pooling in her emotional eyes. He was taller than her, head bowed down as he fought his own tears back— pathetic; be a leader, Michael —but he managed to make eye contact with her regardless.

“You are dealing with so much, my dear,” she started quietly. “I’m sorry you felt you had to carry the burden yourself.”

“Dustin and Lucas and Max know. Nancy, too.” Mike rubbed at the back of his neck. “The monster got Barb back then.”

Karen gasped with a hand to her mouth. “Oh, poor girl.” The woman closed her eyes to keep her tears back and then opened them with a shaky smile drawn on her painted lips. “I’m so glad you finally told me.”

Mike shrugged but he could feel happiness threatening to blossom in his chest. “I, uh, well, having Will and El back reminded me that I don’t have anyone else in the house who knows . Nancy does yeah but she doesn’t like to talk about it. And neither do I really but she’s my sister and we don’t talk about a lot of things.”

“You two are close.”

“Yeah, but she doesn’t know that I don’t even want to be on the track team but she looks so happy seeing me on the field; I can’t take that away from her!” Mike clenched his fists angrily as the words spilled from his mouth. “She doesn’t know about me and Will or that I’m—,” the word wouldn’t come out but Mike knew they all knew what he wanted to say. “She doesn’t know a lot of things. But you do. Everything but the secret about the Upside Down. And I can’t keep this up! This lie about who I am, what I’ve seen, what I’ve done .”

Karen rushed to take Mike in her arms and he fell into her embrace just as quickly. Mike felt Will and El release his hands so he could wrap his arms around his mom and hug her tightly. She was sniffling a little, gently rubbing his back and it made Mike feel like a kid again but in a good way. It made him feel like he was 6 or 7, being soothed after falling off his bike in the driveway and scratching his knee. It made him feel like what he just relayed to his mom could easily be bandaged over like that scrape.

“Mike, I love you.” was all she said and it was all Mike wanted to hear, all he needed to hear. “I just want you to be happy . You can quit track, you can join theater, you can do whatever you want, I don’t care.” She took his face in her hands and fixed him with a steady glare. Mike couldn’t look away even if he wanted to. “If there’s anything I’ve learned in life, it’s learning to be yourself. Let yourself be who you are, not who everyone wants you to be.”

Mike frowned. “Is this why you and Dad are thinking about getting a divorce?”

Karen froze and bowed her head. “Yes. I’m sorry. You weren’t supposed to know.”

“I can handle it. He barely cared about me anyway.” Mike huffed and reached up to squeeze his mom’s hand. “I love you, Mom, yeah? We’ll both be happy.”

Karen grinned and Mike watched her turn to Will and El with equally wide smiles. El was the first to initiate the hug, brown pigtails whipping around with the intensity of the action. Will turned to wrap his arms around Mike from behind and pressed his face into his back with a hum. Mike laid his hands over Will’s and leaned into the touch with a smile. The conversation went a lot easier than Mike thought it would and the weight off his shoulders had him a little weak in the knees.

He was so lucky, oh so lucky , to have the people in his life that he did.

And when New Year’s Eve came the next day, Mike and Will told their friends about their new relationship just as they planned. Dustin pulled the two into one armed hugs, Lucas shared a knowing look with Mike, Max gave Will a high five for it all, and El...she smiled and nodded with approval and even though she already knew thanks to the conversation with his mom the day before, it was great to have her support confirmed.

“10 seconds until the new year,” started Lucas as he rocked Max in his arms.

“8 now!” Dustin shouted as he took El into his own arms for a tight hug. She laughed and patted his cheeks with a wide grin.

“5 seconds,” whispered Will into Mike’s ear as he held him close to his chest. The Party was toward the back of the crowd, hidden from the gazes of Hawkins as all eyes took to the sky in preparation for the fireworks show.

“3.” A warm kiss to the shell of Mike’s ear.

“2.” A lingering kiss to the nape of his neck.

“1.” A soft breath against his cheek.

Mike twisted and grabbed his boyfriend’s face as the crowd cheered Happy New Year and the fireworks lit up the sky. He looked into green eyes, traced the reflection of pyrotechnics in those sparkling orbs, and leaned in for their first kiss of 1987. Will smiled into it, pulled Mike closer, and ignored the whoops and cheers of their friends surrounding them.

“I love you,” Mike murmured when he pulled away, then turned to the rest of his friends. “I love you all, man. You’re the best friends a guy could ask for.”

“And we love you, too, Mike.” Dustin tagged on with a grin. “Our baby leader.”

Mike rolled his eyes and punched the other boy in the arm with a chuckle. El watched him carefully and then reached out a hand for Mike’s own. He passed it along, worry in his chest as her brown eyes filled with emotion he couldn’t understand. “I love you,” she said and it was different. It was different than the last time, not as desperate, not as needy. It was resignation and acceptance in three words, understanding and moving on in one: love .

“I love you, too,” he breathed out and then pulled the younger girl into his arms. She pressed her face into his chest and clung onto his shirt with shaking fists. “Thank you.”

El laughed. “Next time, don’t hide yourself from me. Or Will. Or yourself.”

A chill ran down his spine but he shook it off and straightened the messy hair on her head. “I’ll do my best.”

“That’s all anyone can ask for.”

[stankrhodes]

I Know That You Know by Leslie Odom Jr. [Songfic] - Ironhusbands

Ship: Ironhusbands

Warnings: a bit of homophobia. Fluff. Through the years.

Author’s note: My plan for week 3 is to have a bunch of song-fics. Fluff or angst (probably mostly fluff but who knows)

Word Count: 1,576

Fic day #16/30

Song: I Know That You Know by Leslie Odom Jr.

Life’s a game, but who can play it all alone?

Every chap should hold a heart that’s all his own

Love may come, at first sight, they told me

When I saw you, I knew;

I had found my only love when I met you

MIT. First day.

Tony’s eyes grazed the room as he sat in a chair on the outskirts of the room. It was orientation day for incoming freshmen and Tony swore he was the youngest person there at 15. Of course, he didn’t need to know that he was, in fact, the youngest person there. However, second to him was James Rhodes.

At 17 years old, James Rhodes knew what he wanted to do with his life. He wanted to join the Air Force but he was going to wait until he got his masters from MIT.

It took two months into Tony’s freshman year until he came face to face with James Rhodes and the first thing he, unconsciously, blurted out was, “Why are you so beautiful?” Rhodey, startled and baffled at the question, sighed softly. “And you are?” He asked.

“Your future husband,” Tony bluntly admitted. Rhodey reckoned he heard someone yell “Faggot!” from behind the two of them but he didn’t care.

“Hilarious,” he said as he tried to hide that he didn’t necessarily disagree with that statement.

So, darling, I know that you know

That I’ll go where you go

“Rhodey!” Tony yelled from where he sat on Rhodey’s dorm bed doing his homework. He had basically moved into Rhodey’s dorm before the end of their freshman year despite Rhodey’s protests that he would wait until Tony was eighteen to make any advances.

Tony knew that was going to only get harder in the next two years.

“What?” Rhodey responded from the bathroom. It took him a moment but he walked out with only boxers and a large U. S. Military shirt on. “You’re hot,” Tony ogled and Rhodey deadpanned. “Okay okay,” he laughed. “Your request for our dorm went through. It’s been approved since we’re in the same year and my case was valid. We’re very close.” Tony winked and Rhodey groaned.

“Stop,” he weakly argued and Tony cheekily smiled.

“So dorm plans?”

I chose you, won’t lose you

I wish you knew how much I long to hold you

Tony sighed as he worked in the lab of the New York mansion. He was fresh out of his senior year of college and Rhodey had gone straight to the Air Force. Being alone was such a foreign feeling to him after becoming so used to being with Rhodey for the last four years of his life.

Rhodey was his rock and Tony had to admit it to himself --he was lost without him.

Sure, he got the occasional phone call or letter but they were becoming more sporadic with their frequency and Tony couldn’t help but wish Rhodey were beside him.

He supported Rhodey –hell, he would until the day he died-- but that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt less when he was away, in fact, it hurt even more.

While he was working, his newest AI system, JARVIS, named after the only father-figure he ever had, alerted him that he had an incoming call from a classified number.

“Hello?” He answered without interest. He expected it to be some stupid company calling him about new plans, but that wasn’t his job, that was his dad’s job. However, he did not expect the huff and joked response, “Sorry. I think I got the wrong number.”

“Rhodey!” “Hey Tony,” he laughed over the line and Tony dropped what he was working on to focus his attention on his boyfriend. They had to keep their relationship a secret of course, but everyone knew Rhodey was seeing someone.

“I miss you,” Tony whined. Although his voice was playful, the confession was serious. “I miss you too, Tones.” “When are you coming home?”

“Four months minimum. A year max. They need me here, Tony. I love you but this is important to me.”

Tony sighed and looked down at his lap. “I know. I just-- I just wish you were here with me.” “I do too Tony. I wish I was there too.”

This time is my time

Will soon be goodbye time

“You know I have to leave in two days right?” Rhodey whispered softly. Tony hummed in acknowledgment and turned over in their bed to face his lover. “Yeah.” Rhodey sighed at Tony’s resigned tone.

“We can’t just lay in bed all day Tones.” “I want to be here with you all day.

“I don’t want to say goodbye because I never know if you’re going to come back. When I don’t get any word from you I get anxious and I drink and I shouldn’t, not after what happened with Mom and Dad but I can’t help it. I love you too much to lose you Rhodey.” Tony’s admission caught Rhodey off-guard and he quickly gathered Tony in his arms.

“I love you too Tony. I don’t want to lose you either and I’m so sorry for putting you through all of this pain. You don’t deserve it.”

In starlight, hold me tight;

With one more little kiss say nighty-night

Rhodey sighed as he looked at Tony who was, for once, peacefully sleeping in their bed. With his duffle bag in hand, he kissed Tony’s forehead and whispered, “I love you,” before leaving for his latest deployment.

Love may come at first sight they told me

When I saw you I knew

I had found my only love

When I met you

Pepper walked into Tony’s lab one evening to see him working on the 1932 Ford Flathead Roadster that belonged to his dad. She didn’t think it an unusual occurrence because he tended to work on this car a lot but she found that sometimes he put off other deadlines to work on the car when he was stressed. Considering the fact that Obie had a pretty strict deadline for a new product looming over Tony’s shoulders, she guessed he was pretty stressed.

“Mr. Stark,” she started and watched with curiosity as he slowly placed the part he was holding on the ground and turned around with movements just as monotone. “Yes, Ms. Potts?”

“I have some paperwork here for you to sign. It’s about a deal with Hammer Industries.” “A deal? Like what?” “Tying the knot on the latest Quantico missile.” “Absolutely not.”

Pepper looked him over once again. His demeanor was unchanging and sluggish. “Are you alright, Mr. Stark?” “I’m stupidly in love.” She was taken aback by that response. Tony Stark, playboy, known for his wild parties and one night stands, in love?

“Well, it seems to me you need to call them.”

“Them is already here,” she heard a voice call and turned around to see Colonel James Rhodes standing behind her. “Honeybear!” Mr. Stark yelled and ran toward the Colonel. Pepper’s shock was evident in that her jaw was wide open. Quickly she collected herself and watched as Mr. Stark immediately relaxed in Rhodes’s presence.

She knew they had known each other for decades but smiled softly because she recognized that they had far better chemistry than she could have ever imagined. He’s happily in love she told herself and has been for years.

So, darling, I know that you know

That I’ll go where you go

I choose you, won’t lose young

I wish you knew how much I long to hold you

“Aliens have entered New York City.” Rhodey stopped listening after that because it was in New York. Tony was in New York which meant he was going to end up doing something stupid.

He kept his eyes glued to the news and when he saw the Iron Man armor going through the portal, his heart dropped. “No. No. No.” Everyone on the plane looked at him curiously but Pepper put an encouraging hand on his shoulder.

He held his breath, praying to any deity out there that they could protect his Tony. When he barely fell through the portal, Rhodey let out a soft breath but kept his eyes on the screen as it looked like Tony was free falling.

Rhodey couldn’t help but let his tears fall freely. “Please don’t be dead,” he whispered to himself but knew it was a false hope.

He had lost the one thing that was most important to him.

Later that night, Rhodey walked into the remnants of Stark Tower and looked around with a heavy heart. He had made love to Tony in this tower. He had confessed his deepest feelings in this tower. He allowed himself to ooze domesticity in this tower. Now that was gone.

He turned around and prepared himself to walk right back out when he heard, “Rhodey?” He spun around and there he was. In all his broken and bruised glory, Tony Stark was standing right in front of him. A sob left his throat as he tumbled forward and into Tony’s arms.

“You’re real?” “I’m real.”

“I thought I lost you,” Rhodey sniffed and Tony’s hand that was rubbing his back stilled before he replied, “I tried to call.” “I know. I’m so sorry I didn’t answer.” Tony led the way to their room and Rhodey, completely worn out, laid in bed while Tony did some more shuffling.

“How are you?” he asked.

“Better now that you’re here.”

[readingsanctuary]

I started the month in a really bad reading slump, so my main goal for the month was to get over that. Thankfully I successfully revived my love and enthusiasm for reading, and managed to have a really successful reading month. I’ve never read so many books in a month before in my entire life, and I’m feeling really good about it. I picked up what I felt like, and that meant I read a lot of graphic novels.

The House with Chicken Legs – by Sophie Anderson

All 12-year-old Marinka wants is a friend. A real friend. Not like her house with chicken legs. Sure, the house can play games like tag and hide-and-seek, but Marinka longs for a human companion. Someone she can talk to and share secrets with. 

But that’s tough when your grandmother is a Yaga, a guardian who guides the dead into the afterlife. It’s even harder when you live in a house that wanders all over the world . . . carrying you with it. Even worse, Marinka is being trained to be a Yaga. That means no school, no parties–and no playmates that stick around for more than a day. 

So when Marinka stumbles across the chance to make a real friend, she breaks all the rules . . . with devastating consequences. Her beloved grandmother mysteriously disappears, and it’s up to Marinka to find her–even if it means making a dangerous journey to the afterlife. 

With a mix of whimsy, humor, and adventure, this debut novel will wrap itself around your heart and never let go.

This was such a quick, enjoyable read, and an interesting twist on the Baba Yaga story. It’s such a whimsical story, I loved all the interesting details that were woven throughout the book. I was quickly absorbed by Marinka’s life, and invested in her story. There are some really interesting themes explored throughout, and Marinka’s reactions always felt really genuine. I loved watching her character develop and grow throughout the story as she came to terms with her situation, and explored her identity. I can see why this book was released to so much praise, I’m just so glad I picked it up.

Rating: 4.5 Stars

Their Fractured Light – by Amie Kaufman & Megan Spooner

A year ago, Flynn Cormac and Jubilee Chase made the now-infamous Avon Broadcast, calling on the galaxy to witness LaRoux Industries’ corruption. A year before that, Tarver Merendsen and Lilac LaRoux were the only survivors of the Icarus shipwreck, forced to live a double life after their rescue.

Now, at the center of the galaxy on Corinth, all four are about to collide with two new players in the fight against LRI. Gideon Marchant is an underworld hacker known as the Knave of Hearts, ready to climb and abseil his way past the best security measures on the planet to expose LRI’s atrocities. Sofia Quinn, charming con artist, can work her way into any stronghold without missing a beat. When a foiled attempt to infiltrate LRI Headquarters forces them into a fragile alliance, it’s impossible to know who’s playing whom–and whether they can ever learn to trust each other. With their lives, loves, and loyalties at stake, only by joining forces with the Icarus survivors and Avon’s protectors do they stand a chance of taking down the most powerful corporation in the galaxy—before LRI’s secrets destroy them all. The New York Times best-selling Starbound trilogy comes to a close with this dazzling final installment about the power of courage and hope in humanity’s darkest hour.

This book took me so long to read, it just seemed to go on forever. I know that this is mostly because of my reading slump which hit right as I was reading this book, but I also feel like a lot of this book was about moving the characters towards a meeting point where they could then go on and finish the story. It almost feels like it could have been two books in that sense. One following Sophia and Gideon, and then a final book following all the characters once they meet.

Rating: 3.5 Stars

Before She Ignites – by Jodi Meadows

Before

Mira Minkoba is the Hopebearer. Since the day she was born, she’s been told she’s special. Important. Perfect. She’s known across the Fallen Isles not just for her beauty, but for the Mira Treaty named after her, a peace agreement which united the seven islands against their enemies on the mainland.

But Mira has never felt as perfect as everyone says. She counts compulsively. She struggles with crippling anxiety. And she’s far too interested in dragons for a girl of her station.

After

Then Mira discovers an explosive secret that challenges everything she and the Treaty stand for. Betrayed by the very people she spent her life serving, Mira is sentenced to the Pit–the deadliest prison in the Fallen Isles. There, a cruel guard would do anything to discover the secret she would die to protect.

No longer beholden to those who betrayed her, Mira must learn to survive on her own and unearth the dark truths about the Fallen Isles–and herself–before her very world begins to collapse.

Why aren’t more people talking about this book? It’s just so good, I loved every minute of it. I’m actually kind of mad that I don’t have the second book ready to start right away, but I will be pre-ordering that very soon. There is so much that I like about this book, firstly, this book has actual dragons in it!

Rating: 5 Stars

Bruja Born – by Zoraida Cordova

Three sisters. One spell. Countless dead.

Lula Mortiz feels like an outsider. Her sister’s newfound Encantrix powers have wounded her in ways that Lula’s bruja healing powers can’t fix, and she longs for the comfort her family once brought her. Thank the Deos for Maks, her sweet, steady boyfriend who sees the beauty within her and brings light to her life.

Then a bus crash turns Lula’s world upside down. Her classmates are all dead, including Maks. But Lula was born to heal, to fix. She can bring Maks back, even if it means seeking help from her sisters and defying Death herself. But magic that defies the laws of the deos is dangerous. Unpredictable. And when the dust settles, Maks isn’t the only one who’s been brought back…

This was everything I hoped it would be. I really enjoyed seeing more of the world in this book. I really love the magic system and the world building. I was worried about whether I would enjoy Lula’s perspective as much as I did Alex’s, but I needn’t have worried. This book was fantastic, and I already can’t wait for the next one.

Rating: 4.5 Stars

Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them – by

A brand new edition of this essential companion to the Harry Potter stories, with a new foreword from J.K. Rowling (writing as Newt Scamander), and 6 new beasts!

A set textbook at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry since publication, Newt Scamander’s masterpiece has entertained wizarding families through the generations. Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them is an indispensable introduction to the magical beasts of the wizarding world. Scamander’s years of travel and research have created a tome of unparalleled importance. Some of the beasts will be familiar to readers of the Harry Potter books – the Hippogriff, the Basilisk, the Hungarian Horntail…Others will surprise even the most ardent amateur Magizoologist. Dip in to discover the curious habits of magical beasts across five continents…

I borrowed the audiobook from my local library, and I really enjoyed it. I wasn’t sure if this book could work well as an audiobook, but it really does. It’s narrated excellently by Eddie Redmayne, who is in character as Newt Scamander for the entire book. The whole thing is just really well done.

Rating: 4 Stars

Giant Days: volume 4

It’s springtime at Sheffield University — the flowers are blooming, the birds are singing, and fast-pals Susan, Esther and Daisy continue to survive their freshman year of college. Susan is barely dealing with her recent breakup with McGraw, Esther is considering dropping out of school, and Daisy is trying to keep everyone and everything from falling apart! Combined with house-hunting, indie film festivals, and online dating, can the girls make it to second year?

The Eisner Award-nominated series from John Allison (Bad Machinery, Scary Go Round) with artist Max Sarin delivers another delightful slice-of-life adventure in Giant Days Volume 4. Collects issues 13-16.

This was a birthday gift from my auntie, and I was so excited that I read it that same day. I loved it just as much as the previous volumes. It’s highly entertaining, and I definitely consider this to be one of my favourite graphic novel series.

Rating: 4.5 Stars

Giant Days – by Non Pratt

Based on the hit graphic-novel series from BOOM! Studios, the publisher behind Lumberjanes, Giant Days follows the hilarious and heartfelt misadventures of three university first-years: Daisy, the innocent home-schooled girl; Susan, the sardonic wit; and Esther, the vivacious drama queen. While the girls seem very different, they become fast friends during their first week of university. And it’s a good thing they do, because in the giant adventure that is college, a friend who has your back is key–something Daisy discovers when she gets a little too involved in her extracurricular club, the Yogic Brethren of Zoise. When she starts acting strange and life around campus gets even stranger (missing students, secret handshakes, monogrammed robes everywhere . . .), Esther and Susan decide it’s up to them to investigate the weirdness and save their friend.

I really enjoyed this book, and was so happy when it lived up to the awesomeness of the comics. Non Pratt has done a fantastic job of writing something that can stand alone from the comics, while matching the tone of the comics, and making subtle nods to the source material.

My Review

Rating: 4.5 Stars

Giant Days: volume 5

Going off to university is always a time of change and growth, but for Esther, Susan, and Daisy, things are about to get a little weird.

Their freshman year is finally coming to a close and Daisy, Susan, and Esther say goodbye to Catterick Hall forever. Literally forever. It’s being bulldozed and re-purposed as a luxury dorm next semester. But as one door closes, another opens and between end of semester hookups, music festivals, and moving into their first home together, the life experiences are just getting started.

Written by Eisner Award nominee John Allison (Bad Machinery, Scary Go Round) and illustrated by Max Sarin, Giant Days Volume 5 finishes off freshman year in style, collecting issues #17-20 of the Eisner and Harvey Award-nominated series.

I’ve already said how much I love this series, and this volume changes nothing. It’s great. I love that they are showing the passage of time, and allowing the characters to move forward and progress through life. I’m really looking forward to finding out what the girls will get up to in their second year of university.

Rating: 4.5 Stars

Ms Marvel: volume 9 – by G. Willow Wilson, Nico Leon

Kamala Khan has vanished! But where has she gone, and why? Jersey City still has a need for heroes, and in the wake of Ms. Marvel’s disappearance, dozens have begun stepping up to the plate. The city’s newest super hero Red Dagger and even ordinary citizens attempt to carry on the brave fight in Kamala’s honor. Somehow, Ms. Marvel is nowhere…but also everywhere at once! Absent but not forgotten, Ms. Marvel has forged a heroic legacy to be proud of. But when an old enemy re-emerges, will anyone be powerful enough to truly carry the Ms. Marvel legacy – except Kamala herself?

COLLECTING: MS. MARVEL 25-30

This is another of my favourite ongoing graphic novel series’, and one of the only Marvel titles that I’m interested in keeping up with. I really enjoyed this volume. I liked that they focused on Kamala’s friends, and how they cope without her while also covering for the missing Ms Marvel. It was a lot of fun, and I can’t wait to see what happens next.

Rating: 4 Stars

Ancient Magus Bride volumes 2,3,4,5

Great power comes at a price…

Chise Hatori’s life has recently undergone shocking change. As a sleigh beggy–a person capable of generating and wielding tremendous magical power–she has transformed from an unwanted child to a magician’s apprentice who has been introduced to fae royalty. But Chise’s newly discovered abilities also mean a cruel fate awaits her.

I’m really enjoying this manga series, the anime is a pretty faithful adaptation so far, so no surprises, but I love the art, and I’m really enjoying reading the source material. I especially loved all the tiny details and explanations that weren’t in the anime, that really add to the story. I loved the anime, but I feel like I’m getting to know the characters and the world a bit better in this format, and I really like that. I love the magic, and the large, interesting world that’s being set out in these books. Also, I really like the bonus content in the collected volumes, it makes me so happy.

Ratings: 4 – 4.5 Stars

Sorry this post is a month late, I don’t know why I didn’t post it sooner, it’s been ready for a while. I’ve been such a mess this past month, I need to be more organised.

Want to chat, about books or anything else, here are some other places you can find me:

Twitter @reading_escape

Instagram: @readingsanctuary

Goodreads

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August Reading Wrap Up I started the month in a really bad reading slump, so my main goal for the month was to get over that.

[steve-harringtonn]

Will and OC Boyfriend

~Even from a really young age Will knew that he didn’t like girls the way other boys did. He didn’t really like it when a girl with blond pigtails and blue dress kissed his cheek on the playground in first grade, but he did like it when a nice boy smiled at him and shared his cookies with him during snack time.

~Will always knew that he was different. He got used to being called things like “freak”, “zombie boy” and “fairy” but hearing these names everyday didn’t mean that they hurt any less.

~The hate and cruelty that Will got simply because people thought that he was “different” was enough to keep from telling anyone about his secret, even from the ones that he loved the most like his mom, Jonathan, Mike, and all his other friends.

~  He was careful about the crushes that he would develop on boys and would always be sure to avert his eyes when a shirtless male would appear on the Tv and he would only smile and nod when El would talk to him about how cute she thought Mike was.

~Will went 15 years without ever telling anyone about how he felt and he was starting to think that he was the only one that felt this way… ‘At least in Hawkins anyway.. maybe even in all of Indiana..’ he would think as he lay awake at night

~It wasn’t until his freshman year that Will finally realized that he wasn’t alone. While Dustin, Lucas, and Mike stocked up on all the science classes they could take and Max and El took a P.E class together, Will decided to take an art class.

~Will sat down quietly in his 4th period art class. It was the only class that he had that didn’t have at least one other party member in it and this scared him.

~A boy with floppy brown hair and big blue eyes sat down next time and smiled sweetly “is it okay if I sit here?” he asked kindly

~Will always being a very shy kid, especially around boys just nodded and smiled at him softly

~After a few weeks Will started to get more comfortable around Conner and they became friends. They found out that they had a lot in common and that they liked the same music, same movies, and of course both shared of love for art. Though they both did like drawing Conner preferred poetry and writing.

~Will was scared to introduce Conner to his friends. Not that he was embarrassed by him or that he didn't think that they would like him. In fact, Will had no idea how someone could not like Conner, he was just scared. He was scared that if hid friends saw him with Conner they would see through him. They would know that he liked him and then Conner would know and then everyone would hate him.

~So Will kept Conner to himself. When he knew that his mom was working late and Jonathan was with Nancy and his friends were all busy he would invite Conner over and they would lay on Wills bed and listen to music and talk for hours.

~Will felt so comfortable with Conner. Conner made him fell like everything would be okay and that he could tell his friends and family how he felt, he had an overwhelming urge to tell Conner everything. About how his dad left when he was 11, why the brunette girl that Conner sees him with gets nose bleeds all the time, the real reason why people call him “Zombie boy”, and how his stomach fills with butterfly every time he smiles at him.

~But Will knew that he couldn't tell Conner those things. not most of them anyway, but one day while they were sitting on Wills bed listening to music Will looked over at him and blurted out that he thought he was cute 

~Wills face turned bright red and his heart started to pound hard in chest in fear of what would happen next. Conner smiled at Will softy and placed a gentle kiss to Wills lips. giving Will his first kiss and unknowingly giving him his first thought that everything really would be okay,

Sorry this is so long but i just really really love this concept. The Conner character is not mine i got him from this amazing story. I am serious this story is so so beautiful and everyone needs to read it. Everyone should also follow @rhapsodyinblueyellowgreen who wrote the story and also came up with some of these headcanons.

[byerly-strange]

Something happens and will and mike get scared and hold each others' hand and someone gives them a Look but everyone in the party just. Glares at them

It was Halloween night of the party’s sophomore year.Usually they would have gone trick or treating and then just hung out in Mike’sdimly lit basement. With everyone huddled together in one massive blob watchingscary movies. Will and Lucas’ screams would fill the room as everyone else justlaughed how easily scared the two were; however, this year was going to bedifferent for them.

Ever since El had been allowed to join everyone in school thisyear, she had gotten massively popular with the boys. Her and Mike had decidedto be just friends that summer. She had looked at her life and decided what sheneeded wasn’t a boyfriend, but rather just friends. She had to figure out whoshe was outside of Hawkins Lab, and outside of the Upside Down before she couldfigure out who she was in a relationship. Her popularity and the allure of herbeing the “new kid on the block” had gotten her an invitation to a party, andsince Max was gorgeous and fiery, and standing right next to El, she also gotinvited. They had promptly turned this invitation for two into an invitationfor six through, what they called “just asking” but the rest of the party wasconvinced they threatened a kid. They could be quite persuasive together

Will had tried to get them all to turn down the invitation.He wasn’t a fan of crowds and knew that the people who made fun of him atschool would also be there. Lucas and Dustin though had made a valid argumentthat they should at least try a party, and that free alcohol would be betterthan stealing Mrs. Wheeler’s secret wine stash. Also, Mike suggesting that theycould go as Chris and Gordie from “Stand by Me” was a pretty good sellingpoint. They saw the movie in theaters and both loved it, so it was a greatcostume idea.

After everyone had convinced Will to go and costumes weredecided the next step was picking a designated driver which was simple. Maxdidn’t drink and was by far the best driver, so she was picked out naturally.When Halloween night came they had all agreed to get ready at Mike’s house forthe party, his parents were there but they never much cared if a bunch ofpuberty ridden teenagers filled their house.

“OKAY!” Mike was bounding down the stairs of his houseyelling. Will could see the smile across his face as he came down which madethe whole ordeal of going to the party worth it to Will. He ran over to Willand slung his arm around him awkwardly. Mike had shot up in the last few yearsand still didn’t seem to have full control over all his limbs, everything he didjust seemed kind of awkward. Will loved it. “How do I look Gordie?”

Will looked the lanky boy up and down. He had to admit theChris costume was pretty on point. Mike had put together a plain white t--shirtwith ripped jeans, which by itself wasn’t special it just looked like normalclothes, but the sleeves was rolled up around a box of what Will assumed wasNancy’s cigarettes. Pair that with Wills striped Gordie shirt and washed outjeans and they made for a pretty good looking pair of explorers.

“You look awesome, Mike. Like straight out of a Stephen Kingstory.” Mike’s smile spread till he was in full frog smile mode, he leaned downand wrapped Will into a quick hug.

“Thanks, and thanks for agreeing to come. I know you don’treally want to. But it will be fun, I promise. Just us, going to a party,acting like normal teenagers for once.” Mike’s smile had faded a little, it wasstill present though, lingering behind his words, giving Will a reassuringfeeling that made his heart skip a beat. Ever since Mike and El broke up therehad been this unspoken thing between Will and Mike, like the first half of ateen Rom-Com. Even Will hadn’t been so oblivious to notice the stolen glances andlonging looks.

Will had come out to his friends and family in freshmanyear, no one outside his small group knew he was gay for sure. didn’t stop themfrom speculating though; however, Mike’s sexuality was more up in the air. Hehad kind of told Will he liked him, and everyone could see the electricitybetween them, but nothing ever came from it. They would cuddle when theywatched movies, and seek comfort in each other but that was as far as they got.The party had kind of come to accept it and let the two take things at theirown pace, which, if Will was being honest, was actually just Mikes pace.

“Anything for you.” Will blushed, “And for everyone else ofcourse” This gave Mike a devilish grin.

“Of course...” His grin spread as he took a quick pause,“EVERY-one.” The extra annunciation on every caused them both to giggle, and itwasn’t until El spoke up that they realized they’d been so entranced inconversation that everyone was staring at them.

“Are you two done...uh,” she looked around at everyone tohelp provide her with the word she needed. Lucas grinned cause he had the wordand was very please with himself that he could provide it.

“Fllllirting.” He added a little extra something to theword, really making it clear that he was lightly teasing his two friends.

“Yeah, flirting. If you two are finally done flirting can weget on the road? Max spent an hour on her hair and it would be a real shame ifnone of those mouth breathers could see her and Lucas together.” It was almoststrange how fast El had gotten used to being in high school. She was still thesame vindictive El with a strong sense of justice, but she had become waybetter at not needing her powers to hurt people. Now she just needed a fewchoice words, or a small little set-up to grind the gears of the people shedidn’t like.

“Oh! Will you two shut up. Yes, we are done, it’s not myfault we are running late too. Max took an hour getting her hair to look likeMolly Ringwald’s, or that Dustin took two hours trying to look like RiskyBusiness.” Mike giggled as Max floofed her hair and Dusting just ran a handthrough his.

“Screw you man! We look good, and you can’t convince me anydifferent.” Dustin struck a pose to truly over emphasize his statement.

“Correction, Max looks good. You look like someone loweredyour hair on you like Darth Vader’s helmet.” Lucas put his arm around Max, hispurple Prince suit shining in the light. as the group burst out laughing andDustin flipped him off.

“Okay, Okay boys. It is time to go.” Max hurried everyoneout the door and into the car that she was borrowing from her parents. It wasonly supposed to seat 5 so Will had to sit on Mike’s lap. “Everyone ready?” Maxasked, but didn’t wait for answer before she put the car in reverse and spedout of the drive way.

At the party everyone kind of split up. El and She-Racostume split off to the dance floor where she was quickly surrounded by abunch of boys she showed no interest in. Dustin followed her to keep hercompany while she dance so she wouldn’t feel uncomfortable by herself. Max andLucas split off to go play beer pong, the two of them were a team to bereckoned with, the party had learned that one night when they had practicedwith water and the two of them never lost a game.

Will and Mike went over to get a drink. Mike grabbed a beerand Will grabbed whatever juice the party had, he knew it had alcohol, but hedidn’t much care what if it would help him deal with the crowd. It wasn’t untilthe 5’3”, 95-pound boy had drunk 3 cups that Mike realized that the juice wasgetting Will super drunk.

“He-hey Mike.” Will managed to get out through his hiccups.“We should, we should go,” Another hiccup, “dance.” He leaned on Mike forsupport as he grabbed his arm and began walking him towards El and Dustin whohadn’t left the dance floor in the 30 minutes they’d all gotten there.

“Are you sure buddy? This isn’t really your scene.” Mike,who was still on his first beer, couldn’t believe that little William Byers wasdragging him out to dance to “Party All the Time”.

“Oh, cooome on, Mikey!!! It’s a party! Even I can enjoyshitty music as long as I am dancing.” He continued to pull Mike towards thesea of drunken teenagers who were dancing in the middle of the hosts livingroom.

They danced for what seemed like hours. The two of thementhralled completely in each other and no one else, not even El or Dustinseemed to be able to bring their attention away from each other. OccasionallyWill would leave to get a drink and Mike would follow. Eventually Will trippedover the stairs, spilling his drink on some poor girl, and Mike decided it wastime to call it a night.

“Awwww, come on Mikey!! I said I was sorry.” Even drunk Willnever slurred his words, the kid’s drunk speak was something to be admired.

“Nah, let’s go find Max and Lucas and get everyone home. Wehave been here for almost 2 and half hours anyway.” Mike was pushing Willtowards the door leading to the basement. Dustin and El had seen the wholespilling incident and knew that it was best to follow Mike and keep drunk Willsafe. “Okay man, one step at a time here we g-”

“I can do it Mike! I don’t need your coddling.” Will pushedhimself off Mike and quickly hurried down the stairs. Mike gaped how quickly hewas moving at first but followed him as soon as he saw him almost fall down. Theywere almost to the bottom when two boys jumped out at Will. He jumped backquickly and latched his hand onto mikes as he screamed.

“HOLY CRAP!” He squeezed Mike’s hand tightly , and did whathe always did when he was startled, almost swear. “YOU FRICKIN’ PRICKS!”

“Those are some colorful words there Byer’s. You are reallyhitting us where it hurts.” The boy who Mike could only assume was Troy fromthe sound of his voice, his face hidden by a mask. “And aww look at you holdingyour boyfriends hand.”  Will and Mike noticedeveryone begin to glare at them. Will tried to pull his hand away, but Miketightened his grip, it was time. “HEY EVERYONE, LOOK AT THE LITTLE FA-” He wascut off by quick punch from Max right to his face.

“Shut the fuck up Troy. I will turn your ass to grass if youkeep fucking with my friends.” Max pushed him away from Will and Mike to givethem space. “And if anyone else has a problem with my friends either me, orher,” She gestured to El, “will give you a whole lot worse to worry about thantwo boys holding hands. And I hope for your guys sake that you only have todeal with me, ‘cause she is a whole lot scarier.” With that she grabbed Lucas’hand and shuffled everyone out.

Will was still startled by everything that had justhappened, all he really knew was how right Mike’s hand felt in his. The warmthand comfort that radiated throughout his whole body just from the small amountof contact. He held it all the way until they reached Max’s car. Where afterbeing promptly sat in Mike’s lap he leaned in and whispered something. Not loudenough for Dustin to hear them from the middle seat, or Lucas to hear them fromshotgun, just something for the two of them.

“Thank you” Will placed a chaste kiss on Mike’s lips, he wassure that he tasted like fruity alcohol and smelled like rum, but he didn’tmuch care. He just felt safe in this moment and decided to go for it. It wasWill’s second kiss, first with a boy, and first since he got out of the first grade.He pulled away after just a few seconds, but a few seconds was all it took forhis breath to be taken away. It wasn’t taken away by the terrible smell of beeron Mike’s breath, or the smell of liquor that was filling the whole car. It wasfrom the feeling of Mike’s chapped lips on his own. The grin that Will couldfeel Mike’s lips turn too after just a few seconds. His breath was taken awayby everything Mike did.

“UGH… get a room you two! Max can you drive faster beforethey start making out right next to us.” Dustin made a little face which gothim a look from El, telling him to leave the two boys alone.

“Max can you drive a little slower so that Will and I canmake out right next to Dustin.”

“Is that what we are doing? Making out in a car filled withpeople?” Will was still drunk, he knew it now too, and the mix of alcohol andeuphoric feeling of kissing Mike was making him bolder than usual.

“Only if you want to, don’t wanna go to fast for you.”

“Well damn Mikey, if I had known we were going at my pacethis would’ve happened months ago.”

“Then let’s get to it.” Mike smiled and leaned in, placingWill’s second kiss of the night on his lips. They both ignored Dustin’s groansas they drove towards Mike’s house. To enthralled in each other to notice whenthey pulled in. 

[ashwooduni]

Congratulations, Becky! You have been accepted as David Paul Karofsky! Please make sure to review the RULES, PLOT, and do everything on the CHECKLIST and move into your dorm room within 24 hours!

OUT OF CHARACTER

NAME: Becky AGE: 23 TIMEZONE: CST ACTIVITY: 7/10 ANYTHING ELSE: RFP

IN CHARACTER

DESIRED CHARACTER: David Paul Karofsky FACECLAIM: Max Adler RELATION: N/A BIRTH ORDER: Oldest SEXUAL ORIENTATION: Homosexual PREFERRED PRONOUNS: He/Him BIRTHDAY: October 22nd AGE/GRADE: 22/Senior MAJOR: Marine Biology SECRET: (TW: alcoholism and depression) Dave drinks…a lot. Dave always struggled with his self-esteem and body image, but after a particularly bad break up last May with his boyfriend of 3 years, Dave spiraled into a depression, leaning heavily on alcohol and meaningless sex.

CHARACTER HEADCANONS

(TW: Drugs – prescription drugs, no abuse)

When Dave was a kid, his dad and him took to fishing. Dave loved fishing. He was always more of a catch-and-release kind of guy though. When he was 12, he’d started checking out books at the library about fishing and after a while, just fish in general. When he ran out of books about freshwater fish, he moved to the ocean creatures. That sparked an interest in marine life and he begged and begged his parents for months to take him to Sea World. They took a family trip that summer and Dave was in awe. That was when Dave decided that he wanted to work with marine animals. That was a trip that Dave’s parents weren’t willing to make every week, which was Dave’s dream at the time, but he figured an annual pass to the aquarium would suffice. When he was 16, Dave went to work at the aquarium in his hometown. All throughout high school and college Dave worked at the aquarium.

Dave was always close to his father growing up. His dad was who got him into football and golf, and of course, started his love of marine life. Dave loved his mother, they weren’t as close as Wyatt and their mother were, but he was still devastated when she passed. Dave’s first experience with depression was in the year after his mom passed away. Eventually, he was able to overcome it with the help of his best friend and anti-depressants and a little therapy, forced on him by his dad. Dave was somewhat close to normal for a while, before he started skipping therapy for football practice and the anti-depressants were done for when his bottle ran out his freshman year of high school and he never worried about refilling it. Around this time, Dave began playing golf and football in school and studying pretty hard at a chance to get into a good college for Marine biology. He was doing a lot better than he used to be.

Dave was alright throughout high school, his depression never really dipping down, but wavering a thin line. His family didn’t know any better; they asked, of course, but Dave never told them any different. He’d always had this tiny feeling, these stupid little thoughts, that popped up every now and again. Telling him that he wasn’t good enough when he didn’t make the position he wanted on the football team. Or when all his friends were invited to a party, except for him. Or when he all the guys he liked were either straight or taken. Dave had no trouble with his sexuality, really. He wasn’t into musical theatre or Glee club. He didn’t really care about his clothes and he had barely any female friends. His kind of gay wasn’t their kind of gay. And it frustrated Dave. He knew he was gay, from a fairly young age even, and he knew he wanted to have sexual and romantic relationships with other men, but would anyone ever find himattractive enough? Dave mostly kept his sexuality to himself, only telling his sister and his dad. However, he fell in love with his best friend around his senior year of high school and kept it a secret for the entire year and the whole summer until they left for college that fall. They’d ended up both getting accepted into Ashwood University together, and after just a week of classes, Dave found the courage to tell him.  

His freshman year of college, Dave and his best friend began dating. They spent all their time together.  Dave and his boyfriend were very close, especially since they were best friends for years before. They were even roommates for a while, making things a hell of a lot easier for them. Dave was completely in love with him; he really thought they were perfect together. Dave’s self-esteem flourished in the presence of his boyfriend and he finally was starting to feel like he was good enough to be in love. He thought that perhaps, Dave would even ask him to marry him after graduation.

Dave wasn’t sure what went wrong. One minute, they were completely in love and the next, they weren’t. Apparently while Dave was ready for a commitment, his boyfriend, was not. Maybe he’d jumped the gun a little, maybe he shouldn’t have asked him about how he felt about the future. But Dave had honestly just wanted to get an idea of what he was thinking, and Dave was suddenly presented with his worst fears. He wasn’t sure he could honestly marry him when he hadn’t even had a chance to be single his entire time of college. How could he know Dave was the one when he’d only ever known Dave? Everything Dave had thought was stable, crumbled at his feet and suddenly, for the first time since Dave started college, he was single.

Dave’s depression spiraled out of control once again, but instead of dealing with it in a healthy manner, Dave turned to alcohol. He’d always enjoyed drinking and going out. But the way his other friends had dealt with Dave’s breakup was to go to the bar and forget his boyfriend even existed. And it felt…amazing. The alcohol had numbed the pain and the anger, leaving only a happy-go-lucky Dave, no worries in the world. When Dave awoke the next morning, he was hungover, and feeling even worse than the night before, without his boyfriend by his side. Dave spent the entire summer that year with his friends, drinking and partying, since he was of age, it was all legal. The meaningless sex came when Dave had taken to gay bars, a place he’d only frequented a few times with his now ex-boyfriend, finding that without his boyfriend, and sexual partner, Dave needed a relief. A couple times, he was asked if he was alright. Dave agreed and smiled and continued to drink and sleep around as if nothing was wrong. 

When school started again in the fall, Dave was assigned a random roommate, unsure of where to go when his best friend was no longer his best friend because he was now his ex-boyfriend. Dave and his roommate got along alright, and during the week, Dave continued to bring home sexual partners, and drinking in his room was severely limited to maybe a drink or two a night, occasionally more. But his weekends were spend hammered, dragging himself back to his room well past midnight, with or without another man. Dave’s school work was just as good as it had always been, because there was no way he’d let his stupid ex-boyfriend keep him from achieving his degree. Besides, Daveliked his classes. And while there were times he still skipped class and slept through his alarm, Dave still worked to study hard, albeit usually accompanied by a beer at his desk.

[whyldkratts]

for the ask meme: all of them, but if thats too much maybe just the last 10?

Sorry for the long post aaaa1: Let’s start with a tricky one; what is the real reason you are confused right now? [I bought lottery tickets bc I was in texas and they’re not legal where I live and the cashier at the gas station didn’t even ask for my id. I tried to show him and he just shook his head and let me go???? He didnt even care wtf]2: Do you ever get “good morning” texts from anyone? [Nah]3: If your significant other smoked pot, would you care? [Yea a little bit. I mean if it was just occasionally that’s probably fine? But a lot of my family has fucked up their entire lives with drugs so anything like that is iffy for me. It depends on how often they smoke ultimately]4: Do you find it easy to trust others? [I’d say yeah, probably. As long as you don’t fuck me over or guilt me within the first few weeks of knowing me id probably feel comfortable messaging you if I needed someone to talk to]5: What were you doing at 11PM last night? [Scrolling Tumblr]6: You’re drunk and lost walking down the road; who is with you? [Probably my irl bffs lindy and raven!]7: What would you do if you found out you had been cheated on? [Dump them. Adios fucker. I hope they’re happy with whoever they cheated on me with]8: Are you close with your dad? [Yeah I’d say so? I love him and he usually let’s me do my thing]9: I bet you kissed someone last night, right? [Nah]10: What are you listening to? [Run by hozier]11: You can only drink ONE liquid for the rest of your life - what is it? [Sweet tea!!!! I’m from the south baby]12: Do you like hickeys? [Never has one so I don’t know!]13: What time do you go to bed? [Uhhhhhh 5am?]14: Is there someone who continuously lets you down? [My siblings.]15: Can you text as quickly with one hand as you do both? [Nope I fuck up spelling a lot and have to go back and fix it no matter how many hands I’m typing with]16: Do you always answer your texts? [I try!! Unless I’m emotionally tired or forget]17: Do you hate the person you fell the hardest for? [No. She’s my best friend now, actually]18: When was the last time you talked to one of your best friends? [LIKE 3 MINUTES AGO I was complaining about how long it car ride home is]19: Is there someone that makes you happy every time you see them? [My irlbest friends, the cars discord chat I’m in, and a lot of my wk friends]20: What was your last thought before you went to bed last night? [I was writing ducktales fanfiction in my head]21: Is anyone else in the room with you? [I’m in a car with my mom for the next uhhh 7 hours?]22: Do you believe what goes around comes around? [Karmas a bitch]23: Were you happier four months ago than you are now? [I was visiting family in Indiana, so yea probably? Tho I am pretty happy now too]24: Is there someone you wish you could fix things with? [Sometimes, with my old pal cat. She did some bad things so I stopped talking to her, but sometimes I want to catch up and see how she’s doing.]25: In the past week, have you cried? [YEAH over a darkwing duck episode]26: What colour is the shirt you are wearing? [Grey. It has Mickey mouse on it!]27: Do people ever call you by your last name? [Noooope]28: Is anyone ignoring you right now? [I wouldn’t know]29: Do you have a best friend? [YEAH everyone in the cars discord and raven and lindy]30: Would it be hard seeing someone else kiss the last person you kissed? [No it was my great grandma lol]31: Who was your last call/text message from? [Call: red cross asking for my blood. Text: raven saying “dang”]32: Are you mad at anyone? [Not really? I don’t get angry very easily at all]33: Have you ever kissed someone older than you? [When I was a freshman I was dating a junior]34: How old will the last person you kissed be on his/her next birthday? [My great grandma! 88 I think]35: How many more days until your birthday? [LIKE a whole entire year. August 2nd]36: Do you have any summer plans yet? [Help my friend after her spine surgery p much. Visit family around the 4th of july]37: Do you have any good friends of the opposite sex? [I have tons of girl friends!! All my best friends are girls (except em but they’re a good friend still!!!)]38: Are you keeping anything from your best friend(s) now? [Lindy doesn’t know I’m trans]39: Do you have a secret that you’ve never told anyone? [Uhhhhhhhhhhh next question]40: Have you ever regretted kissing someone? [I try not to regret things like that]41: Do you think age matters in relationships? [UH YEAH?? An adult dating a minor ain’t my deallll]42: Are you available? [Lmfao yeah but don’t hold your breath I’m awful at relationships]43: How many people have you had real, strong feelings for since high school ended? [My ex and bff dksdkdiajsai kill Me. I’ve had small crushes but I don’t rly let them grow too much if I realize they’re poppin up]44: If you had to get a piercing (not ears), what would you get? [Septum]45: Do you believe exes can be friends? [Yeah!!!!! I just reconnected with my ex from freshmen year and he’s cool]46: Do you regret anything? [Times where my mouth moved before my head could think and I hurt someone I cared about. Times where I didn’t listen. Times where I hesitated. But the past is a different country, and I try not to waste the present lamenting what I could’ve done.]47: Honestly, what’s on your mind right now? [Home. And the mistakes I’ve made.]48: Did you ever lose a best friend? [Yeah. She moved away and we just… talked less, and less, and less.]49: Was your last kiss a mistake? [Nah it was my great grandma]50: Why aren’t you pursuing the person you like? [They have a bf and also dont like me plus im unlovable and bad at relationships and feelings *shrug emoji* the other person I’m interested in lives too far away and also doesn’t like me like that]51: Has the last person you kissed ever seen you cry? [Twas my gg and probably when I was a baby]52: Do you still talk with the person you LAST kissed? [All these last kiss ones are so angsty and sad and it was literally my grandma 5 hours ago I’m laughing]53: What was the last thing you ate? [McDonald’s French fries!!!!!]54: Did you get any compliments today? [Nah I’m in my road trip attire so I look like a mess]55: Where are you going on your next vacation? [New Orleans in October for voodoo fest!! Gonna see the foo fighters B)]56: Do you own anything from other countries?[I think I have Canadian money somewhere…]57: Are most of your friend guys or girls?[girls!!]58: Where have you lived most of your life?[Sweet Home Alabama]59: When was the last time you took a long drive?[DOING IT RN!!!!! 13 HOURS]60: Have you ever played Spin the Bottle?[yea but it was like, mashed up with truth or dare. Instead of kissing we asked them truth or dare]61: Have you ever TPd someone’s house?[nah I’m pretty mild]62: Who do you text the most?[raven probably? Or max]63: What was the last movie you saw?[spirited away I think??? First time I ever saw it]64: What’s preventing your current boyfriend/girlfriend from going back to their ex?[I’m single, don’t remind me :P]65: How many boyfriends/girlfriends did you have in 2011?[I was 12 and right smack dab in the middle of my ugly awkward phase (thays still going on today!) So I had none lmao]66: Is the last person you kissed younger than you?[nah]67: Do you curse around your parents?[GOOD LORD NO]68: Are you happy with where you live?[I? Hate Alabama. My city is okay but I want to move somewhere nicer]69: Picture of yourself? [I have a selfie tag. I would upload but I’m lazy. Maybe if I find a pic I like later I will]70: Are you a monogamous person or do you believe in open-ended relationships?[polyamory All the wayy!!!!! But monogamy is cool too]71: Have you ever been dumped?[probably in elementary school but I don’t remember? I usually am the one to end it bc I get freaked out and skittish around people genuinely caring about me so I break it up before they’re disappointed]72: What do you most like about making out?[being comfortable and close enough with someone to do it.]73: Have you ever casually made out with someone who you weren’t seriously involved with?[yup!]74: When you kiss someone for the first time, is it usually you who initiates it or the other?[depends? I’ve asked to kiss someone and I’ve been asked equal amounts.]75: What part of a person’s body do you find most attractive?[eyes? Idk there’s a lot that goes into finding someone attractive it’s hard to narrow it down]76: Who was the last person you talked to last night before you went to bed?[my mom]77: Had sex with someone you knew less than an hour?[virgin]78: Had sex with someone you didn’t know their name?[virgin]79: What makes your heart flutter and brings a big cheesy smile to your face?[Any cartoon character I’m currently hyperfixated on]80: Would you get involved with someone if they had a child already?[yes. But i would go slow and I wouldn’t want to meet their child until we were both sure this was something we wanted long term.]81: Has someone who had a crush on you ever confessed to you?[no its usually me? Wait i take that back!! One girl did while I was in hs but I’m pretty sure she only did it bc she just figured out her sexuality and I was queer and there.]82: Do you tell a lot of people when you have a crush?[nope I bottle that shit up!!!! But if it’s a long standing crush I’ll tell a few people eventually]83: Do you miss your last sweetie?[No.]84: Last time you slow danced with someone?[my friend Franklin at prom. We pretended to be spies on a mission forced to act casual as we scoped out potential enemies]85: Have you ever ‘dated’ someone you’ve never met?[??? Don’t like the skeptical quote marks. I’ve been in long distance relationships before, yes.]86: How can I win your heart?[just like…… be nice to me, ever, and I’m into it. Talk about things you like, ask me about things I like, try and get into/understand my interests and I’ll do the same?? Don’t make fun of me and don’t belittle my interests. The bar is low]87: What is your astrological sign?[leo]88: What were you doing last night at 12 AM?[sleeping]89: Do you cook?[pasta!!!!!!!]90: Have you ever gotten back in touch with an old flame after a time of more than 3 months of no communication?[yeah!!! 3 years of no talking and I reconnected with max recently]91: If you’re single right now, do you wish you were in a relationship?[uh it’s complicated. Yes but idk if I’m in a good place for a relationship. I haven’t even begun to transition at all.]92: Do you prefer to date various people or do you pretty much fall into monogamous relationships quickly?[you say that like I could get multiple people to date me]93: What physical traits do you look for in a potential interest?[nice dress style?? Glasses are good too. Idk questions like this are hard augh]94: Name four things that you wish you had![money, a job, plush darkwing duck toy, a car]95: Are you a player?[no]96: Have you ever kissed 2 people in one day?[nooooope]97: Are you a tease?[hahahahaha no]98: Ever meet anyone you met on Tumblr?[nope!!! Not yet]99: Have you ever been deeply in love with someone?[maybe. But I don’t think you can love someone too deeply who doesn’t love you back]100: Anybody on Tumblr that you’d go on a date with?[sure, plenty]101: Hugs or Kisses?[both??? Both is good]102: Are you too shy to ask someone out?[It’s Not shyness, it’s rejection I have a problem with]103: The first thing you notice about the opposite sex?[girls are pretty]104: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you babe?[Yeah I guess]105: If a sexy person was pursuing you, but you knew he/she was in relationship, would you go for it?[If it was an open relationship and everyone knew the situation, then yea prob?? If not, then no.]106: Do you flirt a lot?[not really]107: Your last kiss?[my grandmaaaaa]108: Have you kissed more than 5 people since the start of 2012?[not in a romantic way]109: Have you kissed anyone in the past month?[not in a romantic way]110: If you could kiss anyone who would it be?[next question]111: Do you know who you’ll kiss next?[nope!! It’s a hopefully nice surprise for future me]112: Does someone like you currently?[probably not lol but ive got no idea!!]113: Do you currently have feelings for anyone?[sure]114: Do you like to be in serious relationships or just flings?[I want to fall in love.]115: Ever made out with just a friend?[yeah]116: Are you happier single or in a relationship?[in a relationship I think?]117: Your own question that you want me to answer. Just write it.[just send me an ask and ill answer it]

This got a bit of self hatred dashed in there whoops sorry!!!