#max the meat guy

[blind0raven]

....

...

Imma murder Ace, Leona and Kalim

They don't make it out of Playful Land cause it was the perfect place to hide evidence

[lucidowl]

Art major friends I mean no harm in saying this but sometimes I do look at some of you and think about how I could obliterate you with a single move. Doesn't mean I will or want to, but sometimes I look at you talk about your studies and remember to keep my voice soft and my movements predictable.

[ectonurites]

i love identifying random props used in movies so much. here's the piggy bank Zach has in Super Dark Times

[ynwa4eva]

These fuck ass polisci texts are killing me

[saiiboat]

summer of system activity. we haven't had people moving in n out of front like this in so long

[azure-daybreak]

I drew this a few weeks ago as part of a warm up that spiraled. God I wish square enix would make a new Bust A Groove game.

Posted using PostyBirb

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

if anyone needs me i will be rewatching trigun 98 and tristamp over and over until my brain explodes

[phillycheesesteakcore]

https://youtube.com/shorts/bf-Nksvtiww?si=FENLFFuc1u4d5RwS since we were talking about raw meat yesterday :D im not sure how the lobster would be safe but the steak looks good

absolutely not to either. also doesn't lobster have like toxins that get released right after it dies and that's why it has to be cooked right away? that can't possibly be safe

[f14fun]

pixelated love (!simmer x mv1) - chapter 3

synopsis: in which the famous three time world champion max verstappen wants to learn how to play the sims 4. except, he doesn't really know how to. so what does he do, search up a youtube tutorial. low-and-behold, y/n's video is the first he watches.

smau ✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩ profile | masterlist ⋆.˚✮🎧✮˚.⋆ prev | next | series index ˚୨୧⋆｡

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yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1, landonorris and 127,821 others

yourusername: incase you haven't heard, max and i are getting married! planning my pinterest board wedding with @/maxverstappen1 as we speak!

view comments:

user1: what.

user1: mother you are getting married to that PASTY AND GNARLY EUROPEAN WHITE MAN??? 😡😡😡

user1: is this a joke

user1: this MUST be an insane practical joke that she pulled off

user1: think of your CHILDREN (me) as you make this decision

user1: until then, i uninvite myself from the wedding ❌👰🏻‍♀️👰🏻‍♂️

user1: sincerely, your favorite child

user1: (for all of you overtly sensitive fat fucks that was entirely satire 🤡🤡🤡)

user2: everyone who doesn't have twitter right now must be hella confused 🤣🤣

redbullracing: ???

yourusername: please avert your gaze to this message and the entirety of my account as a whole, deepest apologies for any confusion or misunderstandings 🤡

yourusername: @/maxverstappen1 fifth slide. my head between those juicy thighs. five o'clock tonight.

yourusername: need my head in between that meat like a stick on costco rotisserie chicken 🐔🍗😋🤤💦🫠

maxverstappen1: I am in shock.

maxverstappen1: I do not even know how to respond to this comment

maxverstappen1: Also what is a "costco"

yourusername: oh shit, i forget that you're not an american LMAO 🍟🍔🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🤠🤠🤠🏈🗽

yourusername: it's just a huge wholesale groccery store

maxverstappen1: Oh okay, I see

yourusername: was that a redeemable statement!!!

maxverstappen1: Not one bit. ❌

maxverstappen1: Also it is spelled as *grocery instead of whatever mess you spelled

yourusername: i hate you

maxverstappen1: You cannot hate your husband, I am very likeable

yourusername: AHA YOU JUST ADMITTED IT

yourusername: I GOTCHA NOW BUDDY

user3: top ten wedding (???) announcements ever made, ladies and gentlemen

user4: Y/N I APPLAUD YOU, YOU HAVE OFFICIALLY EXCEEDED MY EXPECTATIONS ON HOW WILD YOU CAN GET. GO AMERICA RAHHH 🦅🦅🦅

yourusername: proud to do our country a cuntry 💅🏻🦅🏈

maxverstappen1: Wait if I marry you does that mean I also have American citizenship?

user5: MAX WHATTTTTT LMAOOO???

user6: did NOT expect max to type that lmao, free him y/n 🤠

user7: the #maxisaynhostage agenda never ends 🤣🤣

yourusername: what-

landonorris: Mate, what are you on about...

landonorris: Also congratulations to the happy couple! @/yourusername @/maxverstappen1

yourusername: awww, thank you so much lando!! max, you better make him the best groomsman or ELSE

maxverstappen: @/yourusername @/landonorris 😐😐😐

charles_leclerc: Congrats you two! ���🥂 Alex and I would love to be invited to your wedding!

yourusername: Saving a seat for you two (plus leo!)

maxverstappen1: There is no wedding. ❌👰🏻‍♀️👰🏻‍♂️

oliverbearman: the oli bearman erasure from the leclerc family is unforunately so real 😞

yourusername: OLI I WOULD NEVERRRR FORGET YOUU

oliverbearman: please adopt me 🥹🥹🥹

yourusername: of course 🥹🥹🥹

charles_leclerc: ???? @/maxverstappen1 .... Do you approve of this mate?? Your first child is my child?...

maxverstappen1: OF COURSE NOT PLEASE UNADOPT HIM @/yourusername

yourusername: this is your first born. no. ❌

oliverbearman: ❌❌❌

user8: the way she makes max more unhinged LMAO u can see it in his typing

oscarpiastri: Okay. The Oscar Piastri-Leclerc erasure saga never ends.

oscarpiastri: Hello??

oscarpiastri: Hello guys?

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taglist: @hiireadstuff @sinofwriting @mehrmonga @the-untamed-soul @glai1023-blog @loloekie @avada-kedavra-bitch-187 @sheastri @llando4norris @gwginnyweasley @carmenita122 @ririyulife @pausmoon @ur-fave-ave @eveninggstar @maddie-naps @erin-odonnell04 @rexit-mo @ems-alexandra @si1ver06 @iamred-iamyellow @bibissparkles

some of these didn't get tagged, and i'm having trouble (?) it's being very weird, idk, so please let me know if your name is here and it didn't tag you ❣️

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author's note: ty guys for reading this fic! 😍🫶🏾 LMAO I LIED part three came out faster than expected. but part four may take a while as i'm a tad busy these next four weeks 🫠

comment if you want to be added to the taglist! ⋆.˚✮🎧✮˚.⋆

[lovebugism]

Hiii can i request shy reader whos anxious about different things? I have weird anxiety lol that makes it hard for me to eat in front of people until im comfortable around them. Can i request reader x Steve who have been dating for a while and she tries to avoid eating around him, but she finally gets comfortable and Steve is just so happy, thank you!!

hope you like it angel :D — steve takes care of his anxious gf at a family barbecue (established relationship, hurt/comfort ish, cw for mentions of anxiety and unexplained issues with food | 1.1k)

bug's summer fic fest (⁠ꈍ⁠ᴗ⁠ꈍ⁠)

The picnic table in Steve’s backyard is hardly big enough for all of you. Even when Max and El agree to lay out on a blanket together some feet away — and when Lucas and Erica spontaneously decide to race each other to the pool — it’s still an achingly tight fit. 

You, in particular, are sandwiched between two bodies much larger than yours. Eddie sits to your right, lacking any real concept of personal space, and Steve is off to your left. The latter keeps a strong arm around your back, hugging you closer to his chest every time the wild-haired boy accidentally knocks into you.

“Okay, me and Nance are getting something to eat,” Robin announces, standing suddenly from the table, visibly overstimulated from the constant conversation. Her eyes flit to your cowering form and then to Steve’s protective one. “You guys have fun with… this.”

It takes all of ten seconds for the others to follow behind them. Dustin and Eddie file through the Harrington family barbecue together, filling their decorative paper plates like they’re at an actual buffet. Mike and Will walk on pale, lanky legs around the yard — stopping once to talk to Max and El, then again by the pool with Lucas and Erica.

You and Steve are the only ones still sitting, but he hugs you to him like you aren’t. 

You can feel the early summer breeze on your skin now, without the crowd of teenagers suffocating you. You can hear the whispering wind, and the gentle humming of his pool, and the sounds of quieter conversation in the distance. You can breathe again. Almost. Still slightly strangled by a distant worry that Steve can read from here.

“Are you hungry?” he wonders cautiously, ‘cause he knows how you are about food. You haven’t let him in on the extent of it yet, but he knows it’s there, so he’s obscenely patient with you accordingly.

You glance once over your shoulder — at the tables of grilled meat and food cooked with love. Your stomach rolls with a distant ache, an empty one. You turn back to Steve and shrink under the weight of his honey-eyed stare. “Um… Kinda,” you confess in a mousy voice, shifting on the wooden bench.

His eyes widen in a soft look of surprise. You usually take a little more coaxing than that. 

“Want me to make you a plate?” he offers, squeezing your shoulder with a gentle hand. His pink lips quirk in a sympathetic smile. “We can take it up to my room if you want— get away from all these freaks.”

Your chest warms at his efforts to accommodate you. The way he loves you makes you brave. 

“That’s okay,” you shrug, trying to be cool even though your voice trembles. “We can... We can stay down here.”

Steve’s chest swells with pride. It bubbles up like sunshine until he’s beaming with it. 

It took you months to feel comfortable enough to eat in front of just him. And here you are now, utterly adored and finally brave enough to eat with all the rest of his shithead friends around.

“Yeah?” he hums, still smiling.

“Yeah,” you nod, gaze averted to your hands, which are wringing something fierce in your lap. You force a small laugh. “But it wouldn’t be, like, totally lame if I asked you to come with me, would it?”

Steve scoffs. “Like you even have to. I’m not let you get to the corndogs before me,” he jokes and rises from the creaking bench. “We’ll be lucky if Robin and Henderson don’t eat ‘em all first.”

He gets you laughing so you don’t think twice about meandering across the yard with him — about the eyes that are or are not watching you, or the weird way you are or are not walking. 

And because he keeps you laughing (and largely unthinking), you end up stacking your plate with more food than Steve’s ever seen you eat in public before. He almost mentions it. Almost. But he opts to keep his pride to himself, instead, lest he ruin the moment.

You return to the picnic table with all his friends, noticeably less anxious about being so squished together than before. 

And maybe it’s because Dustin and Eddie can’t eat anything without being sloppy — or maybe it’s because Will’s keeping you distracted with talks of his newest D&D campaign — but you down your food with more ease than Steve’s ever seen from you. Unworried about the crumbs sticking to your fingers and the very corner of your mouth. Completely and utterly comfortable here with him, and with everyone else around you.

The sight makes his heart swell. 

It’s like he’s falling in love with you all over again.

He catches you alone for the first time when you’re tossing empty plates. It’s not exactly the most ideal spot to steal a kiss from you — by the deck, next to the garbage bins — but it’s the first either of you have been out of sight from prying eyes all day. 

So, Steve takes the opportunity and grabs it. Literally. He cradles your wrist in a gentle hand and ushers you closer towards him. Your feet stumble in the tall grass. The tip of his nose brushes the bridge of yours, and you flinch. 

“I taste like cheeseburger,” you laugh.

“I don’t care,” Steve shrugs, face screwed, visibly mourning your mouth. “I taste like barbecue. Who gives a shit?”

He ducks down to kiss you again. And this time, you let him. 

He kisses you harder than you anticipated — a long and languid peck that takes your breath away. He tastes faintly of all the food he’d eaten before, something savory and strawberry sweet. It leaves you dizzy when he pulls away, lips smacking softly as they part.

“What was that for?” you wonder breathlessly a moment later.

Steve bounces his shoulder in a lazy shrug. His kissed lips quirk in a lopsided smile. “Nothin’. I’m just… I’m just proud of you, I guess.”

He doesn’t elaborate any further. He doesn’t have to. You cower at the notion of being perceived and scrunch your nose in disdain. “For being a normal person?” you joke with a cynical scoff. “For once?”

“No. For doing something that was hard for you,” Steve argues, still smiling. His hands rest warm and wide on the outside of your elbows. His thumbs rub softly along the skin there. “And for lookin’ real cute while you were doing it, too.”

You squint, trying hard not to smile at his smiling. 

“Stop flirting with me,” you grouse.

The boy’s pink lips jut in a playful pout. “But why?” he whines. “That’s, like, my favorite pastime.”

[fieriframes]

[I mean, they have their own butcher here. They process their own meat. -Torta ranchera. Some people still think knowledge is power who prepare this food because it's done very well. FIERI: So well that my Minnesota-based crew]

[priniya]

ᯓᡣ𐭩 END OF THE DAY ! ᡣ𐭩ᯓ

pairing. lando norris x reader

summary. being a supportive girlfriend during an awfully stressful time is hard, so when reader and lando ends up fighting, neither of them is surprised. however, she can’t help but be in love with him at the end of the day.

notes. pretty short and not proofread 😕😕

YOU WERE WALKING ON EGGSHELLS FOR THE PAST two weeks around your boyfriend. he was thrown into contention for the title mid-season and as the last race weekend of the season was getting excruciatingly closer, lando’s mood was dropping drastically. you understood it, not in the way that you were in the same situation as him, but frustration, pressure and disappointment weren’t strangers to you. you could see that your boyfriend was gradually becoming a ticking bomb, yet unsure when will his breaking point happen.

as it turned out, it happened on a second day after he got back from brazil. it was a silly argument that escalated to a major fight, resulting in you, driving back to your apartment in ventimiglia to give the brit his required space.

it wasn’t ideal, coming home, you hardly stepped a foot into your apartment, when lando was in monaco as you usually stayed at his place to get as much of him as possible in the — usually — short period of time. norris, unbeknownst to you, immediately felt terrible just as he watched you left. guilt creeped up his spine, yet he made no effort to stop you, knowing that he needed some space to get ahold of himself. no title could make him fill the void if he lost you.

so, after a few days of radio silence from one another, you were starting to feel like you were losing the precious time you had with lando. the clip from max fewtrell’s stream with your boyfriend there, saying that he’s eating food that sat in his fridge for more than six months or staying awake for 26 hours, has found its way into your twitter feed. it made you worry restlessly.

thirty or so minutes later, while lando was still playing some game with max and a few of their friends, you let yourself into his apartment and started rummaging through his to find all those expired items and threw them out, already making an order for new groceries. as much petty as you could be sometimes, you didn’t want your boyfriend to end up with food poisoning, it was kind of oscar’s thing now.

cleaning his fridge took you fifteen minutes at most, considering that you threw up a huge portion of its content. it was just then, when you decided to put on your big girl pants and face him. you made him some tea with lemon and honey, before quietly tapping him on the shoulder.

“jesus christ!” he shrieked, causing you to giggle. “mate, i think i’m having some sorta proper hallucinations.” your boyfriend spoke into his headset, not believing the sight in front of him — not believing that he was seeing you. you could’ve easily picked up the guys taking a piss out of him, which made you laugh even harder.

“you need sleep, lad.” “yeah, you sound like a maniac.” “that’s the expired meat speaking.”

“don’t worry ‘bout it, lads. i’ll take care of him.” you moved closer to the microphone to let the guys know that everything’s taken care of, fully aware that max, your boyfriend’s best friend, would get concerned.

“i’m super sorry.” lando spoke softly, once you left the discord call. his arms snuck around your waist, pulling you flush against him — almost as if he had really missed you. “i love you so much, please don’t break up with me.” he added. you pulled your bottom lip between your teeth to bite back the chuckle upon not only hearing his words, but also upon seeing his childish-like expression.

you managed to escape his embrace, dropping your hand into his, while trying to drag him back into his room for a nap. it wasn’t a hard task with lando trailing right behind you until you sat him down at the edge of the bed.

“i’m not mad at you, baby.” you reassured him in a gentle tone. your hand caressing his cheek. “i still love you, okay? but you gotta go to bed, lando. we’ll talk later, alright?” you tried to coax him into listening to you and you’ve succeeded.

WHEN YOUR BOYFRIEND WOKE UP A FEW HOURS later, he thought that your presence in his apartment was just a dream. having pushed himself off the bed, he walked to the kitchen to finish off his expired chicken. that’s when he found you lounging on the couch, while eating something that smelled incredibly well.

yup, he must’ve been hallucinating.

with that in mind, he didn’t even approach you, trying not to feed into his delusions. if his mates knew that he started seeing his girlfriend after eating something that spent a few months in his fridge, they would never let him live it down. he furrowed his brows at the sight of a pan full of carbonara that he had no recollection of making — maybe he should go see a doctor?

lando sighed in relief after having taken a sniff of the dish, realising that somehow it’s not gone bad. how did it ended up in his place? no idea.

“bloody hell, no more eating expired food. i’m seeing stuff.” the brit muttered, rubbing his face in slight frustration. upon hearing his quiet mutter, you let out a small chuckle, tilting your head to the side in amusement.

“lando, you know i’m real, right?” you mused, a small smile creeping up on your lips. your boyfriend’s forehead creased in confusion. god, he seemed so out of it. “as in, i came here this afternoon, you’re not seeing stuff.” your words were coated with hilarity as you gave him a look.

lando was bewildered. twenty six hours of sleep weren’t that much, how did he forget that you got to his apartment and, apparently, talked to him? his cheeks flushed in embarrassment as he put the plate down on the coffee table and sat next to you.

“i, uh, wanted to call.” he spoke, his head hanging a bit lower. “t’was unnecessary, my outburst, i mean.” a sigh escaped his lips. he was slowly beginning to look like a sad, kicked puppy.

“it was super unnecessary.” you agreed, running a hand through his hand in a slow motion. “we can’t really go back in time, can we?” he shook his head at your words, taking your hand in his hair as an invitation, so he moved closer to you, his arm sneaking around your waist.

“but you still love me?”

“yes, lando. i still love you.” you leaned your head on his shoulder.

“good, i would probably kill myself, uh, or die without you.”