#matthias frozen

[lovewillthaw-j]

"Get behind me"

Parallels requested by @the-sky-is-awake

[ejga-ostja]

Just Dance night at the Van Eck mansion

[frozen10fanzine]

As Promised....

8 people, 8 months, 3 social media accounts, and 23 contributions later, we present to you...

Our Love Letter to Frozen, for the 10th Anniversary (if a tad late).

Anna & Elsa have discovered new memories in Ahtohallan - our memories, the fans of Frozen. They found it as the Fifth Spirit. As Sisters.

You can find them here.

As a free, downloadable PDF.

Thank you for all your love and support,

the Water Has Memory Team

[isthataraccoon]

frozen but kaz is elsa and runs away when someone takes off his precious gloves; nina is anna, matthias is kristoff, jesper is olaf, inej is either pabbie or bulda, and wylan is sven

[annaofthenorthernlights]

Just read a wonderful fic, settled in a Polar nights au, on AO3 by @true--north!

"If we´re going to die tomorrow"

pairing: Kristoff x Anna Rated: M Words: 2,9k

A lovely mix of horror and romance in despair!

Highly recommanded!

[hmhrealitycheck]

Matthias gives major Kristoff vibes and you can't change my mind.

[strawberrycowgirly]

i’m not sure if this would be more helpful for you in the tags or not but:

red- nina

green- inej

black- kaz

blue- matthias

purple- jesper

orange- wylan

i could be wrong as to what you think it is, but this is obviously just my take on it lol

Conducting a brief experiment, let me know if I'm correct. Because I'm pretty sure that if I say:

Red, green, black, blue, purple, orange

That the soc fandom can tell me the exact order I just listed the Crows in.

And if that's true then this is just further proof that this is some of the most successful character work literature has ever seen. Let's find out, and if I'm right I might write a post about why this is so clever because i think that it is but if I write that post and everyone says 'what are you on about I associate them with different colours?' then that would just be embarrassing.

[gentiliana]

ruler of my heart♡

matthias czernin x fem! reader

word count: 1.2k ; angst, suggestive at the end

Heavy breaths filled the quiet, dusty attic of Mr. and Miss Czernin’s mansion. The air felt thick with neglect, the floorboards creaking under the weight of time. Matthias, their older son, crouched next to a box, his hands trembling as he gripped an axe. Sweat clung to his brow, his entire body exhausted, but his mind was sharper than ever. He couldn’t stop now.

Inside the box, in pieces as though violently torn apart, lay a puppet—dismembered and “lifeless”. It looked like a younger version of Matthias: same dark hair, same tattered clothes, but the expression… it was wrong. The puppet’s face twisted into a mischievous grin, its eyes wide with a gleam that felt almost sinister. It was nothing like Matthias’s emotionless gaze, a contrast that sent a cold shiver down his spine.

He hoped —desperately— that this time, it would work.

Each time he destroyed the doll, which his parents had named Louis, it would come back—always perfect, always intact. The puppet, a thing they cared for more than they ever did him, never seemed to stay away from the man.

Matthias had tried everything.

He burned it. It came back.

He scattered its ashes across different places. It came back.

He threw it into the river, watching it sink into the depths. And somehow, impossibly, it came back.

His frustration had reached its peak. The puppet had become an endless cycle of torment, a twisted reminder of his parents’ bizarre affection and the curse it had become. The thing had ruined his life in ways words couldn’t explain. And now… now, he was standing here, hoping the axe in his hands could break the cycle.

As he rose to his feet, the sudden, jarring sound of the front door slamming shut echoed through the mansion. Matthias froze, his heart skipping a beat. He had completely forgotten to close it when he found Luis outside earlier.

“Matthias? Are you there…?”

The voice calling out his name was gentle, angelic almost, breaking through the silence of the house like a warm touch. In any other moment, it might’ve made him flinch and shiver. But not this time.

The voice belonged to his childhood friend—his only friend—the one person in the world who hadn’t abandoned him in the wake of his misery. Her presence, her voice, brought with it a strange sense of peace, cutting through the suffocating weight of everything else that had happened.

“…I’m here!” he replied, his voice just loud enough for the woman to hear.

She tossed her coat and characteristic hat onto the sofa before walking toward the fireplace to warm up. The cold air seemed to linger in the house, seeping into everything, and she needed a moment to adjust.

“Idiot, you forgot to close the door! And why are you even up there?” she asked, her voice tinged with frustration. “You never go to the attic alone… you know the door could close at any time and lock you in!”

Crossing her arms, she started walking toward the attic door. She knew Matthias well. He had always avoided the attic alone because of the broken door that could close unexpectedly. But there was more to it than that. The attic wasn’t just a forgotten storage space—it was where he had built Louis, a decision that haunted him more with each passing day. He never could have predicted how much regret would follow that fateful action.

However, there was no time to hide the truth.

As Y/n’s footsteps echoed closer, Matthias froze, his grip tightening on the axe in his hands. His eyes were wide, panicked—he had been too slow. The box containing Louis lay open on the floor in front of him, its contents spilling out, the horrifying reality of what he had been doing exposed.

Y/n paused at the top of the stairs, her heart skipping a beat as she took in the scene before her. Matthias, standing frozen in place, the axe still clenched in his hand, and the box—With one of Louis’ wooden arm out, as if he was waving at her— revealing what she already feared.

“Matthias…” her voice barely audible, fear replacing her usual bubbly tone. her eyes scattered around the place, falling multiple times on the box and Matthias’ hand that held the weapon so tightly.

“…why?”

The man, too ashamed to answer such an easy question, lowered his gaze, too scared that she would think badly of him, that maybe she would’ve changed her whole vision of him for a thing that he had all the rights to do.

“I’m destroying what ruined my life.”

“…Ruined? Matthias, he’s the only thing that’s helped you earn enough money to survive. Do you realize that without him, you’d be living on the streets by now?”

The woman climbed the last few steps of the staircase, her voice sharp as she stood before Matthias. Despite his imposing figure and the fact that he was armed, she wasn’t afraid to confront him.

“And did you realize that he’s the reason my life is miserable?” The man’s normally calm voice rose with anger, emotions getting the best of him as they always did when Louis was the topic of conversation. He hated him—truly, he did. Matthias couldn’t care less that the public would pay exorbitant sums to see a puppet perform, money that helped him living without worrying about expenses. It wasn’t the money that gnawed at him; it was the fact that everyone adored Louis, they liked him better. To his parents, Louis wasn’t just the perfect puppet—he was the perfect son, the perfect way to make money, the perfect ticket to fame.

“What’s the problem with that? If he’s gone, I’ll be happy—”

“If he’s gone, people will stop liking you!”Y/n’s voice was sharper now, a quiet fury lacing every syllable. But she spoke before her mind could process her words. A terrible mistake that was going to cost her the only real friend she ever had, and he was now looking at her with disgust.

“Go away,” he snapped.

“No… That’s not what I meant. Please, let me explain.” She took an hesitant step forward, but all she really wanted to do was going back that staircase and run away from the scene, embarrassment and regret eating her alive.

“I said, go away.” His back was now facing her, but his words slapped her face really hard.

She took other silent and hesitant steps towards him and when she was near enough, she made him turn around. Looking at him like this seemed like looking at a sad lonely animal on the side of the street, both anger and sadness visible in his only good eye.

Her left hand slowly moved on my body, from his arm to his cheek, the sudden action making him drop the axe with a loud thud. Finally looking up to the woman.

But, too ashamed to actually admit it, admiring his friend’s angelic features wasn’t enough for the man. He needed- no, he yearned to touch her. Not in the same friendly way they had since they were kids, and calling her a friend now didn’t feel right to him. He yearned so much to touch her that even the slightest brush of her skin drove him wild, and now, with her delicate hand on his face, worn from his crimes, he felt himself burning with desire.

An angel like her couldn’t stain herself with a sin as great as touching a filthy murderer like him.

[raginggeeksworld]

Chapter 12

Forever falls Apart

A/N: I know I promised not to disappear for months again, but hey, I finished first semester of university with straight A's, so that's a win😅 This is a long ass one!

We are on the highway to hell for the next 2-3 chapters, I LOVE YOU GUYS THO

P. S. Mind you, I'm on my third rewatch of Glee while writing this

[Lil' guide: the divided parts are flashbacks, and the things said in "this format" are !SPOILER! 's voice echoing.]

Taglist: @kiraflowersworld @vainillasmil157 @bookloverfilmoholic @so-get-this-sammy @ell0ra-br3kk3r @hufflepuffprincessbabe @pansexualwitchwhoneedstherapy @bitterspoons @wonderland2425 @noorie101

Fear has a habit of altering even the sanest of minds. It's like a disease, a plague that clouds your every thought until you are nothing but a mere semblance of the person you were before. It can cloud any reasonable logic you have, making you act irrationally.

And it can make you completely useless. Frozen like a statue. Disconnected from reality. Indifferent to what's happening around you. Trapped with your thoughts. Speechless.

Kaz stood and watched as Y/N fell from the sky, leaving a pool of blood where she sank into the sea. He watched as he waited for her to come up and wave to them, probably cursing about the cold water and her wet clothes. He waited, and waited, and waited, but she never emerged. Her voice was ringing in his ears.

"Promise me, Kaz. If I show symptoms of an addiction, promise me you won't give any jurda to me. Even if it means I'll die."

Kaz felt the urge to throw up. He held onto the railing of the ship with all his might, no doubt that his knuckles were turning white under the gloves. His heart was beating loudly in his ears, making him deaf to anything else.

The feeling came suddenly and Kaz feared he was going to drown in it. His breathing became rigid as he tried to keep any ounce of control he had left in him.

"We are soldiers."

Kaz blinked and out of nowhere Jesper and Inej were looking at him, terrified. Why was Jesper completely wet? How long was he standing there? Did they found her? Or has the sea claimed her forever?

"She won't wake up," Jesper told him with a trembling voice, tears burning his eyes. Matthias was taking off his fur, while Nina began the chest compression, using her powers to restart her heart.

Her hands were already covered in blood.

Inej and Wylan stood a few steps away from them, their eyes full of horror. Kaz saw the people around him speak, but the sounds didn't reach his ears.

Oh.

"If it comes down to it, let me die. Don't let me suffer. Please, Kaz, promise me."

That suffocating feeling returned much stronger, and it made Kaz unable to speak. He couldn't look away from the limp body that was holding him mere minutes ago. The bile rose in his throat, but Kaz refused to throw up. He felt sick, and all he could think of was the fact that now Y/N was just another one of the cold bodies that were suffocating him.

Kaz felt like his heart could stop any second, but he was physically unable to take his eyes off of her. Every attempt Nina made at reuscitating Y/N felt like a twist to the knife in his chest.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Will you ever tell me-"

"Y/N." She interrupted him and for a second Kaz just looked at her, utterly confused.

"What?" He asked, but the girl just smiled back at him.

"You were going to ask my name. It's Y/N." Kaz only nodded, but he was already testing her name in his mind. Y/N. Y/N. He found it way too casual a name for someone like her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There was a muffled sound coming from next to him. Someone was trying to speak to him. Kaz didn't know who it was, and he didn't really care either. Y/N was dying. Or was she already dead? Should he go over to her? Check her pulse? Make sure she's alive? For that to happen, Kaz would've had to move and touch her skin.

Cold. Numb. Red. Void of any sign of life.

"I will march with you in times of war."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Do it." Kaz demanded on a quiet voice, but Y/N just giggled. "No." Kaz asked again as he leaned heavily on his cane, visibly drunk. "Y/N, pleaseee."

"Absolutely not. Now get inside," she told him, pointing to the open door of his room. Kaz shook his head and tried to keep his face neutral, but his blown pupils betrayed his inebriated state.

Y/N rolled her eyes, but a laugh escaped her. "This is the last time I turned into a cat while you're drunk."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cold. She must be feeling cold.

Kaz's movements were rigid, like he didn't even process what he was doing as he took his coat off and walked closer to Y/N's body on the floor. Then he stopped as if rethinking his decision, when he raised his gaze and noticed Jesper and Inej sobbing.

His first thought was that something must be really wrong if Jesper was uncontrollably sobbing. Jesper was an emotional person, but Kaz had never seen him cry, not even once.

To see him nearly choke on his own tears felt wrong to Kaz.

He looked at his coat in his hands, gripping the fabric so tight he might as well could've tore it apart. Kaz tried to control his erratic breathing, but it was harder and harder to do, the longer he kept staring at Y/N's body. The only color she had left was her own blood coating her. Kaz lowered the coat in his hand. She won't need it anymore.

Kaz felt the stares from the others, but he didn't dare look at them. He couldn't. How could he? He knew the kind of look they were giving him. Sadness. Grief. Pity. More pity. More sadness. He didn't need it. He didn't need their pity, he needed Y/N.

His Y/N. His best friend. His wife. Them staring at him with pitiful looks won't bring her back.

"I will rest with you in times of peace."

Kaz could still feel the way she was grabbing onto him on the tank. How she was holding him like he would disappear if she didn't. And after she ripped herself away from him, for one fleeting second, Kaz could see the guilt in her eyes.

That one second was already haunting him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She was standing so close to him, Kaz could almost feel her heart beating. He looked at her like she was going to disappear if he didn't.

Her eyes had a faint glint in them from all the candles that she lit earlier. Kaz raised a hand to cup the side of her face and when she gently leaned into his touch, Kaz let out a gasp of breath he didn't even realize he was holding.

Y/N just smiled at him, and Kaz decided then and there he was going to change.

For the better, for Jordie…and for her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He turned away from them. He felt his eyes burning and Kaz knew if he didn't leave, he was going to break down in front of them, no matter how strong his self-control was.

This was his breaking point. Losing his brother, the only family he had left, was like a death sentence to him. He couldn't go a day without something reminding him of his absence.

Then Kaz stumbled upon Y/N. Or rather, she stumbled upon him. She was annoying and too talkative, always making some noise and seeking Kaz's company whenever he was in the same room as her. Kaz did everything to avoid her, but she was persistent and eventually Kaz got used to her constant presence. He would've never admitted it, but sometimes he asked for her companion on purpose. Although he always had a made-up excuse for it.

Kaz stepped away from them, slowly, as if he was in a daze. In a way he was. His mind kept replaying every moment they spent together. Wether it was the two of them, or a mission, or just another night at the Crow Club. Every single interaction they had ever since they have met ran through his mind.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"No matter how hard I try to erase you from my mind, you sneak back in by simply existing. It's… frustrating," Kaz said as he dragged himself to his feet, every fiber of his being drenched in the harbor's water.

Then he looked at her, and he felt his heart stop at the way she was looking at him, like he was something worth looking at.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There was a gentle tap on his shoulder and Kaz aggressively hit the hand away, not even looking at who it was. He kept walking, not really knowing where. The chamber? The bottom of the ship? Back to her? Should he sit down? Should he continue with the plan? He would have to create a new one, without…her.

"I will forever be the weapon in your hand, the fighter at your side, the friend who awaits your return."

Kaz didn't plan this far. He didn't plan for this, because he was sure he was going to be the one to die. His death seemed most likely to happen. Not hers. Ghezen, not her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Raffiel's fiancé stood near Kaz, watching him with a suspicious gaze. Kaz didn't know what to make of it, so he turned to her with a questioning look.

"You're just another fool under that cold exterior." She said with a faint smile as she watched Kaz look back and stare at Y/N.

"Watch out, Brekker. You look like you're falling."

I think I already did, Kaz thought to himself as he left the room.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What was he supposed to tell her family? What was he supposed to say to her brother, when he left basically saying she was going to come home, and not him? What was going to happen when Raffiel saw Kaz return, without her?

He would probably beat Kaz until he's nothing but a sack of bones and meat. Or shapeshift into a wolf, or a dog, or something predatory and tear him limb from limb. Kaz would take the punishment gladly. He decided that if Raffiel attacked him, he will let him.

There was another tap on his shoulder, but it was harsher, urging him to look at them. Kaz refused to, even when they stepped in front of him and began shouting at him. The closeness of the other person finally made Kaz look up, only to see Jesper's tear stained face.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The bottle was already half empty when Kaz finally decided to sign the papers. The papers he specifically asked for. With every signature, he took another sip from the glass. He finished the bottle too quickly for his liking. Everytime he wrote the name down, a part of him wanted to burn the papers, but the other part stopped himself from doing so. He told himself he was only being cautious, that this was the rational thing to do. But deep down Kaz knew that it would take all of his strength to control himself and not run to Y/N. The wedding ring was practically burning in his pocket.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kaz got lost in his thoughts again, and Jesper desperately tried to make him understand what he was saying. As he took in the empty look in Kaz's eyes, Jesper felt like he was talking to a ghost, rather than a human person. He never could read the emotions on Kaz's face, but this time it felt as if Kaz was drained of every emotion. Jesper could see it in his eyes that Kaz's mind was elsewhere, somewhere far away from the present.

"I have seen you change at the bottom of the world."

"For fuck's sake Kaz, are you even listening to me?!" Kaz heard Jesper shout into his face, and he looked at him. Jesper still didn't know if Kaz was actually hearing his words, but he kept speaking once again. "She's breathing Kaz. She's alive." He said and felt himself tear up again.

Kaz only looked back at him with slightly furrowed brows. Internally he was confused. Why was Jesper saying this? Why is he lying to him? Was this his way of trying to…console him? He didn't need consolation. Didn't need their pity.

Jesper's words made Kaz feel like someone just punched him after a fight, right before shooting him. Jesper must've noticed his confusion, because he looked into Kaz's eyes, not breaking eyecontact, hoping Kaz would finally understand him.

"She. Is. Alive." Jesper's words were firm, not leaving room for discussion. Kaz turned visibly confused, but Jesper just repeated his words. Kaz grew more and more confused, as Inej walked up to them. Kaz was glancing between the two of them, his brows furrowed, the confusion turning into irritation.

"Nina is taking care of her. She's too weak, but she's breathing." Inej informed him, but then her expression turned softer. "Look at her, Kaz. She's alive." She nodded behind Kaz, where Nina was still crying, accompanied by a relieved smile.

Kaz was almost sure his own mind was playing tricks on him. A joke. This must be a cruel joke. He must have been in so much distress and shock that he began hallucinating. The floorboards swayed under him, but that could've been caused by the waves crashing against the ship. Either way, it felt like everything was spinning around him.

He became dizzy, and soon the familiar feeling of bile rising in his throat got his attention. Kaz focused so hard on trying not to empty the contents of his stomach that he didn't even notice when he was left alone.

His heart was beating too loud. Breathing felt impossible. There were multiple voices around him, muffled by his own heartbeat. His vision was blurry and the cane in his hand did nothing to help him walk. In just a few seconds, Kaz walked as far away as he could from the group, and when he was sure they couldn't see him, he leaned over the railing and threw up.

The cold wind did nothing to ease his nausea. Kaz felt like he was back on the barge, suffocating under the mountains of bodies. He closed his eyes to try and get a grip on himself, but as soon as he did, the image of Y/N falling from the sky replayed in his head. There was too much blood. She was covered in it.

"There is no one more loved by me Kaz Brekker, stubborn and unbreakable."

Her voice was the only thing Kaz was able to hear, and it felt like torture to him.

"Let me die."

The air was being sucked out of his lungs, and Kaz gripped the railing like his life depended on it.

"Please don't let me suffer."

There were footsteps around him and Kaz felt the presence of someone towering over him. He didn't even realize he was bending down, clutching at his chest, his breathing uncontrollable.

"Promise me, Kaz."

The anger grew in him rapidly. Her voice was haunting him. Kaz hated how easy it was to miss her, how he could recognize the change in her attitude just by her voice, how it took up space in his head, but most of all, he hated that the only thing he could think about in that moment was the fact that he was never going to hear her again.

"What about Death?"

"It takes more than death to get rid of me."

Kaz let out a humorless scoff. "Liar," he whispered to himself. Stubborn. Reckless. Convincing. She was probably the best liar Kaz had ever met, second only after him.

"In this life and the next."

Why couldn't it be this one? They just got married. Y/N just realized how to be herself, not despite, but with her power. Kaz was just at the beginning of his redemption. If saints and gods did exist, Kaz couldn't understand why they would let Y/N die.

Y/N died.

She was dead.

Dead.

Dead.

Dead.

Y/N died. She's dead. Y/N is dead.

Dead.

At the edge of his vision Kaz glared at the sea like it was responsible for her death. Instead of blue, all he could see was red. The blood that coated her body. Blood, unfathomable amount of blood, that made it seem like she bathed in it.

How did she lose so much blood? Was there even that much in her? Kaz didn't know that much about biology or anatomy, but he knew losing so much blood was fatal.

Jesper and Inej shared concerned glances at Kaz's state. They retreated with a few steps after Kaz almost stabbed Jesper with the beak of his cane. His eyes were red, like he was holding back from crying, but despite that it seemed as if he was unaware of his surroundings. He would occasionally start to hyperventilate, only to abruptly stop and stare ahead of him, his mind being completely elsewhere.

The others didn't really know what to make of it, but Jesper and Inej, being the ones who knew him the longest outside of Y/N, they knew he was suffering internally. Kaz didn't really show his emotions, he wasn't the kind of person to express it outwardly. And for him to be so detached from reality that he didn't even hear what they were saying, for him to be completely locked inside his mind meant that he was overwhelmed. He was overwhelmed with his emotions and this was the only way he knew how to process the heavy load.

Jesper had an arm around Inej's shoulder, resting his head on top of hers. He was trying to muffle a sniffle, but Inej noticed it and looked up at him. "She's here, Jesper. She's still here with us," she tried to reassure him and Jesper looked up at the sky for a moment, sniffling.

"I just, I don't know what I would've done if she didn't make it." He let go of Inej to fidget with the rings on his fingers, hoping to ease his nerves. It didn't help.

"Nina doesn't know if she got affected by the jurda. She says she won't know anything until Y/N wakes up. I pray to the Saints she does," Inej told him and Jesper let out a weak scoff. "I think if she finds out I lost one of my guns, Y/N's going to bring herself out of a coma just to kick my ass." Jesper said it casually and it made Inej let out a soft laugh.

Kaz turned his head at the sound of their laugh. They weren't loud, their laugh was a quiet scoff at most, but still, it reached Kaz's ears. He looked at the two of them with such anger and disgust on his face, that for a second Jesper thought he was going to lash out at them.

He didn't. He kept staring back at them, and they could see the emotions change on his face. It turned from anger to detestation in mere seconds, and now both Jesper and Inej were waiting for Kaz to jump up and start a fight.

The hatred in his eyes shifted just as quickly as it appeared. It turned ito disappointment, raw and deep, and the unfiltered emotions he was showing made the guilt weigh heavy in their chest. Both of them knew how this must've looked from Kaz's view. He thought his wife was dead, and they were here, laughing, as if she was nothing to them.

"Kaz?" Jesper spoke first, trying to get a reaction from him, without triggering him to lash out. He looked back at them with the same glare, slowly getting up from the ground. His movements were predatory, and Jesper instinctively put a hand on his pistol, but with no real intention of using it.

He didn't know what to say. Kaz was standing in front of them, looking like he would burn them with his stare if he could. He took a slow step closer, the cane tapping against the floorboards with a loud click. Jesper finally understood how scary the sound of it actually was, especially in the silence. One wrong word or move, and Kaz was going to snap.

"Y/N is alive." Inej's voice was soft, but it had a firmness that made Kaz glance at her. She didn't break the eyecontact, guessing that Kaz was trying to decipher if she was lying or not. "Y/N is alive. She's injured, and Nina is taking care of her," she explained but the tension didn't leave Kaz's expression.

"She's going to be fine." Jesper added as positively as he could, despite his inner concern. Kaz seemed to be considering their words, still unsure if it was true or not. Jesper and Inej stood there, waiting for Kaz to process everything. Jesper almost let out a loud sigh of relief when the anger from Kaz's expression dissipated. He furrowed his brows as he looked back at them, utterly confused.

Poor Wylan decided to walk over to them at the wrong moment.

He was talking about what Kuwei just revealed about the jurda, and how it could affect Y/N, and the symptoms he noticed on her already. Kuwei stood next to Wylan, glancing at Kaz every two seconds, slightly scared of the way he was looking at them. He was right to feel scared, because Kaz was unusually silent. After Wylan quickly stopped talking, there was a few seconds of silence, where they were all just staring at Kaz, whose face was unreadable.

In three seconds Kaz was gripping the collar of Kuwei's shirt, slamming him down on the railing as if he was about to throw him into the sea. The beak of the crow was already at Kuwei's neck, keeping him from moving too much. His eyes were wide with terror as he looked into Kaz's violent gaze. It was like staring at a wild animal, that was ready to rip him limb from limb.

"Get off him, Kaz!" Jesper shouted and tried to get closer, but Kaz looked back at him with the same animalistic gaze and Jesper immediately stopped. He looked at Inej for help, while holding a hand out sigaling to Wylan to get behind him.

"Kaz, let him go. We need him alive." Inej managed to get to his side, ordering him sternly.

"I don't," Kaz replied, his voice lower than he realized. He loosened his grip on Kuwei, slightly lowering him over the railing. Kuwei began kicking for him to let go, but Kaz just tightened his hold on the silver crow at Kuwei's neck, drawing blood.

"He knows everything about the jurda. He could tell what side effects it might have on-," Wylan told him but he was quickly hushed by Jesper. "You've said enough already!" He ushered him further away from Kaz. Momentarily Kaz loosened his grip on the cane, glancing back where Wylan was standing. Wylan swallowed at the sight of the raw anger in Kaz's eyes.

That didn't stop him from speaking up again. Unfortunately for Wylan, he learned how to be confident at the worst possible moment. This time he really should've tried to be invisible instead of acting confident.

"Kuwei said it's still in her system, making it harder for Nina to heal her, because Y/N's shapeshifting might have made the injuries worse, than they were bef-," Before Wylan could process what was happening, Kaz had a hand around his face, forcing him to look up at him.

"Say it," Kaz seethed furiously, his hand tightening on Wylan's face, making his jaw hurt from the pressure.

"Say her name one more time Merchling, and they'll be uncovering your body for months," he whispered and Wylan tried to nod, but realized he couldn't because of the grip Kaz had on him. Kaz raised one of his brows as he loosened his grip, just enough for Wylan to nod fiercely. Kaz held him for a few more seconds before letting him go.

Four days.

Four damn days.

That's how long Kaz has been avoiding everything and everyone. Whenever one of them asked what the next step was when they got back, his reply was always the same. Stick to the original plan.

He was more like a ghost than a real person at this point. Jesper exchanged concerned looks with Inej, or Nina anytime he found Kaz staring at the horizon, unmoving. He couldn't wrap his head around why Kaz wasn't with you right now. They told him countless times that you were alive and breathing, that you did not die.

But it seemed Kaz was already convinced you were dead. In the past four days Jesper saw more emotion on Kaz than in the years he had known him. He didn't know wether to be concerned or relieved that Kaz was actually expressing what he was feeling.

He decided on the former. Kaz wasn't stable by any means. The emotions he showed weren't exactly positive. Anger, grief, irritation. These were the usual feelings he showed aside from his usual brooding mood.

They were walking on thin ice around him. Any word or movement could set him off and Kaz would take his feelings out on the object closest to him. The group hid most of the things around the ship, before even Specht decided he had enough of Kaz destroying everything.

After each crash out Kaz retreated to the side of the ship, staring out at the water for hours upon hours, once or twice even attempting to walk into the room Nina treated Y/N in. He always failed to do so. The furthest he got was two steps from the door. He couldn't find it in himself to actually look inside and see her.

He was convinced that once he looked, all he would be able to see was her corpse. Then he would realize the others were lying about her survival to keep him from going completely insane. Too late for that, he thought.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

On the fifth day Kaz finally willed himself to take those remaining two steps. The only reason he was able to do so was because everyone else was gathered around Nina, who was telling them tales from her childhood, trying to lighten everyone's spirits.

Obviously they didn't notice him slipping away from them. They didn't even know he was eavesdropping on them.

As Kaz stood in front of the door now, his couarge wavered. He would never admit it, probably not even to Y/N, but he never felt so anxious like in that moment. His hand was holding the doorknob for at least five minutes now, debating if he should enter or try again tomorrow.

What are the chances he could do this again? That there wouldn't be anyone to see him hesitate? How many more attempts have to be made before he finally steps inside?

Before he could talk himself out of it, he opened the door and stepped inside, closing the door behind him. At first, Kaz only looked around the dimly lit room, taking in the mess on the table. The first thing he focused on were the multiple clots thrown into a pile on one of the chairs. Bloody clots.

He was so focused on the blood, he didn't notice the movements on the small bed in the corner. He didn't even register the quiet noise, until a raspy voice interrupted his train of thoughts.

"Kaz?" The voice asked shakily, as if they had just woken up.

Kaz didn't turn to them immediately. He took a few seconds to pull himself together, before slowly, agonizingly slowly turned to look at the figure on the bed.

As soon as he looked into Y/N's eyes, Kaz crumbled.

He had to grab onto his cane along with the table so as not to fall to his kness. His legs trembled slightly anyways. The air was knocked from his lungs as he just... stared at her.

She was alive. She was breathing. She was here.

"Kaz?" She asked again, frowning a little when her movement caused her side to jolt in pain.

"Alive," Kaz mumbled under his breath, the words too muffled for Y/N to hear.

"What?" She asked tiredly, her voice no louder than a whisper as she kept staring back at him. Kaz leaned towards her slightly, as if he tried to step closer, but changed his mind and leaned back.

Neither of them broke the eyecontact. The silence was heavy with their unsaid words, the circumstances making it harder for either of them to say what they wanted.

"You're alive." Kaz whispered, but it felt loud in the silence. Y/N looked at him with furrowed brows at first. She looked at him with a questioning look, trying to figure out what he was thinking.

"You're alive." His words were firmer this time, as he let go of the table and took a step closer. Despite her tiredness and the pain all through her body, Y/N managed a tiny smile in the corner of her lips.

"I'm alive, koja," she whispered.

Kaz collapsed into the chair next to her bed.

A/N: If you read this far, first of all thank you and hope you liked it!

Second: here's the full wedding vow from Genya and David's wedding, edited to fit this story. It's one of my deleted scenes, where Y/N says it in Kerch, while Kaz says it in Ravkan♡

"We are soldiers. I will march with you in times of war. I will rest with you in times of peace. I will forever be the weapon in your hand, the fighter at your side, the friend who awaits your return. I have seen you change at the bottom of the world. There is no one more loved by me Kaz Brekker, stubborn and unbreakable."

[Bottom of the world=the Barrel]

[mordredisacoolname]

GRISHAVERSE CHARACTERS WHEN YOU FALL ASLEEP ON THEM

Shadow and bone / six of Crows

MALE READER (can also be read as gn)

Characters: Alina Mal Genya Nikolai Kaz Inej Jesper Nina Wylan Matthias

*Mostly based on the show as I'm only in the middle of Siege and Storm

ALINA- you were both very tired, riding in a carriage led by horses. Alina was starting outside the window when she felt a weight on her shoulder, turning her head she saw you with your eyes closed asleep on her. Smiling to herself she moved a little so you'd be more comfortable and spread a little warmth through you so you won't be cold. She tried staying as still as possible in the carriage to not wake you up.

MAL- you were both drinking some kvas and talking nonsense outside your tent while everyone else were asleep. As he stared into the sky talking about keramzin memories he was interrupted by your head falling on his shoulder. "Do I bore you this much?" He barked out a laugh, watching your sleepy face and moving to a more comfortable position. He decided to let you sleep a little more before waking you up and returning to the tent.

NIKOLAI- you were hanging out in his ship quarters with a few other ship mates, his arm hang around your shoulders when he felt your body leaning towards his own, your hair tickling his neck. He watched you in amusement while Tamar and Pryvet were telling a story about a past adventure, tightening his arm around you.

GENYA- you both were sitting on a sofa in your room at the little palace, genya talking about her day and (rightfully) complaining about the queen, with a tea cup in her hand. When she asked you about your opinion, not hearing an answer she glanced at you finding out you were asleep. She presumed you were just leaning against her as you often did, but to her surprised you were just passed out from the tiring day as a grisha in the little palace. Smiling softly she carefully helped you fully lay down on the sofa, and left you to your rest.

KAZ- you were sitting in his room trying to form the next step leading to the fall of Pekka Rollins when he felt a slight weight on his shoulder. He immediately tensed up frozen in place. He tried calling your name hoping you'd wake up but unfortunately for him you didn't. He wanted to shrag you off, and he would've if you didn't know each other for a very long time. It felt weird, anxious but also a little comforting. He stayed like this still as a statue for a few minutes before slightly tapping you on your arm to wake you up.

INEJ- you were both sitting outside in silence wanting some peace and quiet from the loud tavern when inej felt your head slip down to her shoulder. She smiled softly, studying your face; feeling the urge to let you stay like this forever. Unfortunately it was getting late and unsafe outside, so she had to wake you up, but she really enjoyed those few minutes of you together.

JESPER- you were sitting at a table in the barrel watching people drink, talk and play, when you felt the tiredness creeping up on you "don't you dare fall asleep and leave me alone in this boredome" said Jesper while holding some sort of drink on his hand. "I'm not asleep" you perked up at the accusation, taking a sip of your own drink you left on the table. As the time passed on, you stopped answering Jesper's questions and observations. "Not asleep my ass" he snored, finishing the rest of his drink and helping sleepy you stand up and go to your room.

NINA- you were sitting on soft cushions near a window watching the snow. You rented a small room and decided to lit a fire and warm up a bit. You were both quiet, enjoying the outside view and the inside warmth, wrapped together in furrs. You slowly fell asleep, head tilted back when Nina noticed you're not awake, laughing quietly she guided your head on her shoulder, tightening the furr around you two.

WYLAN- wylan was mixing some stuff together when you called him to take a break and join you on the sofa, petting the empty space besides you. After a few protests he finally agreed and sat down next to you, your arm wrapping around him. Drawing him closer you kisses his head, nuzzling your nose to his wild hair, feeling sleepy. He was telling you about what he was making when you slowly started shifting away to sleep. When he noticed he smiled trying not to move his head too much as your head was on his. He was just sitting there squished between you and the sofa, and eventually fell asleep too.

MATTHIAS- he was sitting all grumpy away from the rest of the crows when you approached him. "Mind if I join you" you asked not waiting for his answer and sat down besides him. "Why do you ask if you're going to do that anyway" he scowled. You shrugging your shoulders leaning against him and observing everything that was going on in front of you. Announcing you were tired, you tilted your head to rest on his shoulder, instantly falling asleep. Looking at you Matthias sighed annoyingly, but let you stay mumbling something in Fjerdan.

[muxshwriting]

to someone from a warm climate

Matthias Helvar x reader

summary: Matthias didn't realise how much he craved the heat he had grown up lacking || warnings: ice court, hypothermia, mentions of drowning || word count: 870 || masterlist

Matthias is dreaming. Dreaming of hope.

He's noticed things lately, that he hadn't realised before. Ketterdam is much warmer than Fjerda. No snow will land here, even in the middle of winter and the canals don't ever freeze. But when the cold winds whistle through the streets, he notices them more. Goosbumps will raise on his arms and he'll feel the cold far more than he used to.

Perhaps it's because he's been in Ketterdam for a couple years now, maybe it's because of you. You were always warm, always wanting to be warmer. He would often joke that you were his personal hearth, keeping him warm in bed at night and scaring away the cold night air. He craved the heat. After growing up cold, he quickly became addicted to the warmth that eminated from you.

You didn't mind. It meant he would hold your hand as you walked, pull you towards him in armchairs and tangle his limbs with yours at night.

But then the Ice Court turns the whole world on its head.

The seven crows get in, the seven crows all get out. Some have a few scuffs and cuts but nothing major. It's afterwards, while still in Fjerda that the worst happens.

Trekking back to Ravka whilst not getting caught can be quite easy in a place as desolate as Fjerda. The villages are easy to avoid and the wilderness was accommadating to those who respected it.

Matthias had been a Druskelle before joining the crows in Ketterdam. He knew most of his homeland well and knew how to navigate the parts he didn't.

They had set up camp by a frozen lake and you immediately wanted to try skating. Growing up in Ketterdam, the only ice you'd seen had been small and thin, never enough to skate on. You had never felt the feeling of floating on ice.

Inej joined you, pushing herself around gracefully, looking as though she had been doing this her whole life. You, on the other hand, resembled a young foal learning how to walk.

The ice crackles as you move around, the deep grumbling sounds worrying you slightly. But Inej doesn't look worried as she continues to spin around you, trying to help you stand straight. Slowly, you're getting the hang of it, able to push yourself around without falling over every second.

Bigger cracks form under your feet as you slide and you freeze. "Inej?"

In a second, you plunge into the freezing water, lungs seizing as panic grips you. The cold is all surrounding and suffocating as you try and kick your way back up to the surface. You can't find it. The light is warped by the water, constantly moving so you can never tell where the break in the ice was.

Black spots begin to fill your vision but you refused to breathe in. The minute you breathe, the minute it's over. An arm reaches towards you in the black and you glady grab it.

Matthias pulled you out of the water, placing you down on the ice as you desperately gulped for air. His body grounded you from the frozen feeling that sat in your chest. Every breath sent shivers through you and Matthias' face only grew more worried.

"I'm cold."

A brief smile then another frown. "You need to change. Your wet clothes won't help you."

You nod, still shivering as you move to stand. You're knees buckle but Matthias catches, letting you lean on him as he leads you to your tent.

Your hands shake as you push your coat from your shoulders and move to unbutton your shirt.

"Do you want me to get Inej?"

You shake your head. "Just stay."

Matthias carefully moved around your tent, passing you dry clothes and setting up a nest of blankets for you.

Now in dry clothes, you slid under the blankets next to him and basked in the heat he was giving off. He'd taken off his outer layer so his skin could touch yours as much as possible.

Your usually warm skin was freezing to touch. He hated it. Your shivers only served to worry him further.

"Are you okay?" He asks softly. You nod, hiding yourself further into his chest. His muscles tensed as your cold hands touched him but he wrapped his arms around you regardless. “You worried me.” He confesses as a whisper.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.” Matthias reassures. “But just, don’t do it again, alright?”

“Okay.”

Your shivers had subsided and the warmth finally settled back on your chest. Matthias’ body was still pressed against yours and you felt his grip tighten as you shifted around. Slowly, you drifted off to sleep, glad your icy lover would always be there to pull you out of the cold.

Matthias breathed a sigh of relief as you fell asleep. Your fingers weren’t icicles anymore and some of your natural body heat had returned. He was simply glad that the cold hadn’t got you. In a frightening realisation, Matthias knew he needed your warmth more than he needed the cold in his soul. He craved you like air and that was more precious to him than Djel and his old beliefs.

taglist: @aoi-targaryen

[frozen10fanzine]

A Reminder from Queen Anna!

A Reminder from Queen Anna!

5 days until the deadline for 2013! 

January 31!

Elsa & Anna have discovered new memories in Ahtohallan. They can only access it together, as sisters. As the Fifth Spirit. The first memories they will find is from 2013…

Where it all began❄️

Those memories are YOURS, over a decade of Frozen.If you wish to share your memories, dive deep into her sound…

Water Has Memory

❄️

Email: frozen10fans@gmail.com Tumblr: frozen10fanzine.tumblr.com TikTok: @water.has.memory

[nothinggo1dcanstay]

If anyone ever asks me what I imagined young matthias looked like I say the dad during the flashback in frozen

[annaofthenorthernlights]

Love can see beyond

Part II Frozen canon-divergence post F2 / Moana (2016) crossover fanfiction Pairing: Kristanna Rated M for angst/hurt/comfort (see tags on AO3)

Thanks to my two absolute amazing beta-reader @reconciledviolence729!

The journey to the far shores to Montonui, beyond the Southwest Passage, begins...

Chapter 28 / 44

Maui had reported the merciless storm far beyond the riff and was already back in the air, keeping a lookout for the stricken ship.

[violettduchess]

Ahh, could I request Matthias with “I grew up on a farm” or “Use me”? Or whatever you feel like! 🙏❤️

A/N: In honor of his birthday today, here is your request anon!

Making such a proper character into a country boy wasn't easy until I found a way to connect the prompt "I Grew Up on a Farm" with Matthias's pride in Achroite.

Modern Country AU, Matthias x Reader

Entry for @candied-boys Country Radio CC

WC: 1.2k

The high-rise buildings of your city glisten with the reflection of a thousand neon lights. They flaunt the reds and pinks and yellows like fashionistas on a runway. Far below, the cars drive, resembling little lightning bugs, their bright, white headlights guiding them along the road to their destinations. The sky above is a gray mass of clouds, blanched and ubiquitous. The night's starlight has no chance against the blinding glow of the city and when it is visible, the moon is only a pale shadow of herself, like a copy made too many times.

Matthias is standing on the balcony of your small apartment, leaning on the railing. His strong hands curl around the cool metal, broad shoulders slumped forward. Slipping his hoodie over your thin nightgown, you step outside and join him. The sounds of the city that never sleeps greets you, a familiar song that has accompanied your nights since you were young.

You wrap your arms around him from behind. Feeling you hug him brings a tenuous smile to his lips and he places his hands over yours, holding you there, a silent plea to not let go. Your head falls forward to rest against his broad back and you breathe in the scent of him, cool and crisp and clean. It reminds you of snow-capped mountains, of winter’s first kiss, of a lake frozen over, diamond-like and dazzling in the pale December sun.

“Penny for your thoughts?”

His exhale is heavy. It courses through his body, dragging the weight of his tangled emotions with it. They feel like chains around his heart, fetters that tighten with every beat.

“Hey....” 

Your voice sharpens with concern as you let go and move so that you can see him. His noble face, the one you tease him about and say looks like a fairy tale prince, is shadowed by something that dampens the soft gray of his eyes, pulls down the corners of his handsome mouth. “Matthias?”

He hesitates and your stomach twists. Something is definitely wrong.

He touches his forehead, frowning, as if willing the thoughts to find the way out of his mind. “This may sound silly. I’m not a child but...” His voice sounds tight, wound with the fear of what may happen when he gives his thoughts life. “I....I miss home.”

You step back, away from him.

His gaze is pleading, heartbreakingly sad. “I know I said I would try. For us. I know your life is here and I thought I would manage. But darling....” His voice breaks on the word and he has to take a moment to regain control. “Darling, I am not made for this place.” He gestures towards the city, now behind him. “I miss the mountains. And the Achroite ranch. The people.” He sinks down onto the chair in the corner of the balcony, his tall body folding like a demolitioned building. “And I’m selfish for it, I know. I promised you. And yet.....” He runs a hand through his short, blond hair. “I can’t....be truly happy here.” Anguished he looks up at you, expecting to see the betrayal written in your expression, hurt shining in your eyes. 

Instead what he sees is something softer, something gentle.

Carefully you cross the small balcony to where he is sitting on the plastic folding chair and reach for him, dropping down onto his lap, knowing from experience the little chair is mighty enough to hold you both. He watches you closely, brows knit in a frown, but he wraps his strong arms around you, almost hesitantly.

Reaching up, you cup his cheek. “I know.”

“You do?”

For a man so intelligent he could be so dense.

You nod, running your thumb over his chin, a gesture familiar and loving. “The minute we left the ranch it was like your glow was slowly fading, a little every day. And I wanted to believe I could be enough to keep it alight. I thought if I could do that, your decision to return with the crazy tourist from the big city who wanted a dude ranch experience and got so much more wouldn’t turn into the biggest regret of your life–”

He hugs you to him tightly, shaking his head as he buries his face in your shoulder. “No, not possible.”

Gently you lift his head so you can look into his eyes. “You love me. I know you do. But you don’t love it here. And so this, here,.....it won’t work.”

The storm breaks in the gray of his gaze. He closes his eyes, fighting back the flood that is breaking his heart and drowning its pieces.

“Which is why we have to leave ‘here’....and go....” Your palm rests against his heart. “Where this is.”

Tears shine like raindrops in the sun when he opens his eyes again, disbelieving.

“What?” It’s a whisper, a prayer in the wind.

“I could never be happy seeing you this way, so far from that place that is in every heartbeat, in every shadow of your thoughts.” You hold his gaze as you speak the words that have been written on your heart for some time now. “ I fell in love with the man with the wide smile who showed me the mountains at sunrise, who shows the same consideration to everyone, from the boy who mucks the stables to the mayor of the town. The one who took me for long rides through the hills and showed me the pond where he learned to swim, the tree he fell from and broke his arm.” You smile, stroking his cheek. “I want that Matthias back and I think the only way I can find him is to bring him back to the land he loves....and if he’ll have me, join him there.”

“Are you sure?” The words are tremulous, restrained. “I couldn’t ask you to leave the city if it would make you miserable. I couldn’t put you through-“

“Screw the city. It was never that great anyway.” Your forehead touches his, your hands cradle his face. “I didn’t grow up feeling like you did. Like this place is a piece of me. What I do know.....is wherever you go, that’s home. To the mountains, to the moon. I don’t care. All I need is you.”

His words are barely audible. “But we came back here because of your job....you didn’t want to give it up. I would never ask you to do that.”

“I know you wouldn’t. And that’s why I am doing it voluntarily.” You lean back and there is nothing but warmth in your heart. “A ranch like yours always needs some extra hands, right? And I’m sure you can teach me.”

“You’re sure?”

There is not a single spark of hesitation in your answer. “Yes.”

“Truly?”

“Matthias!”

Relief like a river rushes through him and he can only stare in awe at you, the brightest sun in his sky. “I love you.”

You don’t reply with words. Instead you lean forward and kiss him, an answer, a testament to a love as bright and endless as the Western sky.

Taglist: @alexxavicry @queengiuliettafirstlady @bellerose-arcana @thewitchofbooks @aria-chikage

@tele86 @dear-mrs-otome @writingwhimsey @mxrmaid-poet @silver-dahlia

@wendolrea @myonlyjknight @ikesimpleton @ikemenlibrary @namine-somebodies-nobody

@whatever-fanfics @justpeachyteastea @chirp-a-chirp @got7igot7family @kookie-my-little-sunshine

@mastering-procrastinating @portrait-ninja @starlitmanor-network @sh0jun @queen-dahlia

@themysticalbeing @nightghoul381 @whitelittlebunny @chi-the-idiot @bubblexly

[swiftie-as-a-coursing-river]

Kristoff from frozen is just Matthias in a different font