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Matthew 5:1 - 5:16
The Sermon on the Mount
1 So having seen the crowd, he went up into the mountain and having sat his students came to him. 2 And having opened his mouth, he taught them saying,
The Beatitudes
3 The poor are blessed in spirit, since the kingdom of the heavens is theirs.
4 The mourners are blessed since they will be comforted.
5 The gentle are blessed since they will inherit the Earth.
6 The ones hungry and thirsty for justice are blessed since they will be fed.
7 The merciful are blessed since they will receive mercy.
8 The pure in heart are blessed since they will see God
9 The peacemakers are blessed since they will be called the sons of God
10 The ones persecuted because of righteousness are blessed since the kingdom of the heavens is theirs.
11 You are blessed when they will hate you and persecute you and they will say all evil things against you lying on my account.
12 Rejoice and delight that your reward is great in the heavens. Just as they persecuted the prophets before you.
Salt and Light
13 You are the fertilizer of the Earth. But if the fertilizer weakens, what will it be fertilized with? It is no longer good for anything except to be thrown out and to be trampled on by men. 14 You are the light of the world. A city lying on a hill cannot be hidden. 15 Nor do they light a lamp and place it under a basket, but on a lampstand and it lights the whole house. 16 So let your light shine in front of humanity, so where they see your good deeds and they will honor your father in the heavens.
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#my art#fnaf vanessa#fnaf#fnaf william afton#spring bonnie#fanart#fnaf fanart#fnaf movie#spring locks#springtrap#steve raglan#vanessa afton#vanessa shelly#five nights at freddy's#comic books#comic art#matthew lillard#fnaf movie spoilers#freddy fazbear#freddy fazzbears pizza#william afton
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All the Power of Five references in Alex Rider We are so starved for content that we have to be delusional and find our own.
Bonus:
#Power of Five is Anthony's YA series as some people havent heard of it :) Same vibe as A.R but a little darker#scarier and ... sadder.#Alex Rider#The Power of Five#anthony horowitz#Hopefully one day we will get something and we can find Alex Rider easter eggs all over Po5's TV show#Matthew Freeman#And Alex would be friends#Or maybe not... as Matt would likely be the type Alex stays away from#At least book 1 Matt#Po5#Power of Five#ARedit#Po5edit
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In trying to explain the different SillyWillys to my mom, I decided to use a cat analogy.
Movie!William:
A well-groomed house cat that no one thinks twice about going to pet. Will let you pet him, but the chances of biting are still in the cards.
Book!William:
A mangy cat I found in a dumpster, somewhat threatening. Petting and biting chances are 50/50.
Game!William:
The cat from Pet Sematary. It will bite. No one knows why it's still alive.
#explaining fnaf lore to my mom has been very fun#scraptrap#springlock#burntrap#glitchtrap#springtrap#dave miller#purple guy#steve raglan#fnaf#fnaf 2023#fnaf games#fnaf movie#fnaf books#five nights at freddy's#matthew lillard
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William Afton (FNaF 2023) Stimboard 🔪 ☕️
cw: knife, horror, liminal spaces, spoilers
I really really like this casting. I loved the FNaF movie & this portrayal of William
🔪 ☕️ 🐰
🐰 🔪 ☕️
☕️ 🐰 🔪
#stimboard#fnaf#fnaf movie#fnaf 2023#five nights at freddy's#five nights at freddy’s 2023#william afton#matthew lillard#springtrap#purple guy#fnaf stimboard#fnaf stim#coffee stim#office stim#book stim#food stim#knife stim#liminal stim#liminal#tw knife#tw liminal space#tw horror#tw knives#brown stim#beige stim#stim blog#stim gifs
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Reading the fnaf movie book
Mike is a mood, I adore how nearly every MC in FNaF aren't entirely idiots. And Mike got his priorities somewhat right. Like spotting a scared child in the mall, and leaping into action. He was triggered obviously, and that's a mood too. He shouldn't have punched the dude tho.. But we aren't entirely ourselves when triggered 👀 BUT HE SHOULD'VE PUNCHED WILLIAM/STEVE WHEN HE FIRST SAW THAT DUDE! That would've gotten him into worse trouble sadly, but hey. We know what's up full stop. Mike didn't. Yet.
What gets me the most though is that Mike didn't hit rewind, after watching the vhs tape. I never squinted so hard at the book page before.. Though I guess it's not all bad? Just gives William MORE work to do, since this seems to be a trend going on. Set up bastards to work at Freddy's, get them killed, clean up the mess the kids left behind, put everything back in order to make it look everything is honky dory. That might be Vanessa's job sadly.. Now that I think about it. William is that type of asshole to dump everything onto someone else, while he just uses his big brain.
#mike schmidt#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#fnaf movie#william afton#steve raglan#matthew lillard#fnaf books#Josh Hutcherson#MIKE STILL HATES BB TOO LMAO#also y'all be sleeping so hard BECAUSE JEREMY IS EASY TO SPOT IN THE MOVIE#i knew right away that Jeremy was the cute black dude that Mike was FRIENDS with#outofcrafts
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My opinion on the FNaF movie
For me, it seems that many people are way more disappointed than they probably should be. Like, the fans, including me, who were part of the fnaf franchise since the very beginning, are just happy that the movie finally got released. Also, the movie plot is more or less rather adapted to the books; many especially "newer" fans didn't read those and only know the games. I think the visual effects and the location, also the animatronics, were just amazing. Josh Hutcherson and Matthew Lillard also played their roles amazingly. Another great fact are the many little Easter eggs that are hidden throughout the movie; I think the best one is the outro one, which may lead to another movie in a few years. However, I think many people forget that Scott Cawthon is the director of the movie, so there can't be anything wrong with its storyline; like, let's be honest....in which part of the fnaf lore did anything always make a 100% sense? Scott Cawthon always gives us much space to play with theories and assume things about the lore. And I think that's just amazing. I loved the movie, and it felt amazing to have watched it.
#five nights at freddy's#fnaf movie#fnaf#opinion#real talk#realtime#scott cawthon#matthew lillard#josh hutcherson#fnaf books
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The Beauty of the House is immeasurable; its Kindness infinite.
#reading#books read in 2024#bookblr#books#book photography#book blog#bibliophile#books reading#books and reading#piranesi#susanna clarke#portal#labyrinth#halls#house of leaves vibes#matthew rose sorensen#other worlds#great and secret knowledge#scientific discovery#innocence#mystery#immersive#spellbinding#wonderful#perfect book#i already want to reread this#piranesi is one of my favorite characters now#review#five stars#october reads
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These are two pictures of the same guy
#finally… the death of having pinkypills design be the only canon one#thank god for Matthew Lillard and whoever casted him in the role#just talking#fnaf#five nights at Freddy’s#william afton#technically book Will is like a decade younger in the books than the movie Will will probably be#but it’s still very funny to me
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#christianity#faith in jesus#jesuschrist#gospel#christian living#jesús góspel jesus#black lives matter#toonami#rwby#shameless#natural history#gayman#five nights at freddy's#dreamling con ñ#chris sturniolo#auston matthews#ñuñoa#book photography#good omens#belief in jesus#jesús#history#tech#x reader#español#apple watch#qsmp#gay men#because#church
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#arc review#arc reader#arc reviewer#book review#book reviewer#book blog#book blogger#book influencer#netgalley#orbit books#matthew ward#the darkness before them#the soulfire saga#coming soon#upcoming release#upcoming book release#upcoming book#5 star review#five star review#book series#epic fantasy#fantasy#fantasy series#sapphic romance
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A Reader Lives a Thousand Lives
The Last Days of Rabbit HayesAuthor: Anna McPartlinPublished: 8th May 2014Goodreads Rating: 4.26 out of 5Reviewed: August 2014 Those who are quick to cry at sad stories should think twice before reading this book in public. Anna McPartlin’s sixth novel, The Last Days of Rabbit Hayes, is exactly what it says in the title. The story is about the final week of Mia “Rabbit” Hayes’ life before she…
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#anna mcpartlin#book reviews#emily st john mandel#fives and twenty-fives#goodreads#josephine angelini#ko-fi#matthew thomas#michael pitre#patreon#review#station eleven#the last days of rabbit hayes#trial by fire#we are not ourselves#worldwalker
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POLAROIDS- MATT STURN
summary: it's your wedding and your bridesmaids give matt a spicy polaroid picture of your throughout the night
cw: cursing, slight suggestive material no smut
an: based on this tiktok i saw | lowercase intended
masterlist
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polaroid one
the night was going great. matt and y/n were enjoying their wedding reception, they had been tied to the hip all night long. y/n had this one particular plan all planned out ever since her best friend, gia, had mentioned it to her. "hey, what if instead of a boudoir book at the end of the night, why don't you give him boudoir polaroids throughout the night?" she had suggested. "that's a great idea! but, why don't i have you and the rest of my bridesmaids give them to him?" gia gasped. "you dirty girl! you're going to get him riled up!" she lightly slapped your arm.
later that week, gia went over to take the pictures for y/n while matt wasn't home. neither of them found it weird, they had been friends their whole lives and considered themselves sisters and they had seen eachother countless times. "he's going to love these. can't wait to accompany you in the delivery room in nine months" gia placed the stack of six picture in her bag, she was going to keep them safe so they wouldn't risk matt finding them. "gia!" y/n scolded her and laughed and she put her hair back up.
"don't try and use them to get off." y/n joked as she walked gia to the door. "i'll try not to." gia playfully frowned. that was about a month ago. "you ready?" gia asked y/n as she handed a picture to each bridesmaid. y/n gave gia the last picture matt would receive and would probably be his breaking point and he'll race them home. "yeah. clem, you can give it to him in about five minutes." y/n tells the first bridesmaid. "okay!"
five minutes go by and y/n gives clem, who's standing nearby, a nod to give it to him. y/n scooted a bit away from matt as she saw clem get closer. he was currently having a small chat with chris. "hey matt." clem goes next to him pats his shoulder and grabs his hand, placing the picture face down and closing his hand around it. "hey?" he furrows his eyebrows, looking down at his closed hand. "chris! let's get a drink!" clem pulls chris away from matt.
somewhere nearby, gia is filming matt's reaction on y/n's camcorder. she zooms in on his face and giggles. matt, still confused, looks at his now wife and she directs a head nod to his hand. "what is it?" he says. "look at it!" she says over the loud music. he opens his hand and flips the small picture around and gasps, quickly placing the picture down on his lap. he feels himself get flustered and looks back at y/n who is giggling. "woahh!" he says. matt looks back down at the picture and flips it back and looks up to see if anyone is looking.
polaroid two
it had been twenty minutes since clem last gave matt the polaroid and matt was ready to go home and love on his wife. he had to excuse himself from y/n to go the bathroom to splash water on his face and cool down. y/n laughed at matt's reaction to the first picture, it was barely anything. she doesn't know how he'll react to the rest of them. in those twenty minutes, matt had slowly forgotten about the picture in his pocket until he saw kay, another one of y/n's bridesmaid come up to him with a smirk on her face. "matthew, i have something for you." she places her hands on her back. "wait let me prepare myself."
gia records again, zooming in on the interaction. y/n, now next to her giggles at matt's closed eyes, taking a deep breath. "okay, i'm ready." he places his hand out and kay places the picture faced down on his palm and he quickly closes his hand around it as he sees chris go over to him. kay, long gone, goes to the two girls laughing. "i love his reactions."
chris goes up to matt and matt tries to hide his hand. "what'd she give you?" he asks, taking a sip of his second pepsi. "dude, shoo out of here." matt shoos him with his empty hand. antsy to look at the new picture. "let me see." chris says. "fuck no!" he walks away from chris to a secluded corner. he flips the picture and cups his hand around. "holy fuck." he mutters. taking a better look at the picture. he starts to feel his pants get tight around his cock. suddenly and hand on his shoulder startles him, hiding the picture.
"baby, it's just me." y/n whispers in his ear, giggling once more from his reaction. "why are you doing this to me." he slips the picture into his pockets to join the other one. "thought it'd be fun." she shrugs wrapping her arms around his neck pulling him down to peck his lips. "can we go home." he looks into her eyes, slowly dragging his hands down to cup her ass over her dress. "not yet, a couple more hours to go. plus there's still more pictures." she unwraps her arms and walks away from in, turing her head back occasionally.
"fuck me." he sighs running a hand through his hair.
polaroid three
another twenty five minutes had passed by and matt has not forgotten about the pictures in his pocket. when he would find himself alone, he would pulls them out and stare and then and out them back once he saw someone coming up to him to congratulate him on his marriage. he would also go up to y/n when she was alone grabbing a drink of water and hugged her from behind begging her to go home. "please baby." he kissed her neck.
for the third picture, lila shook his hand and slipped the picture into his hand, while he was talking to nick. nick being curious, tried to take a peek at the mysterious picture, but matt shook his head. "i'll be back." he said, walking to his and y/n's table with a pep in his step. flipping it around he automatically started to get hard. in the picture, y/n was covering her bare cunt with their comforter. and her tits were able to be seen by the thin top she was wearing. he started to sweat, tugging on the neckline of his button up shirt.
around the corner, the three girls were giggling into the camera as gia tried to keep the camera straight, trying to capture the memories for her best friend. "what's going on?" nick came up behind them. "y/n's bridesmaids have been giving matt picture of her, if you know what i mean." nick gasped. "y/n!" she giggled. "is that why he didn't let me see?" they nodded.
polaroid four (left)
it was time for the fourth picture to be given to matt. this scenario was a bit different. the photographer was near their table taking pictures of them and y/n gave ali the signal to give it to him while the cameras were going off and gia was recording. ali walked over patting his on the shoulder and sliding it on this shoulder signaling him to grab it. matt looks around at the cameras immediately turning red. although she was wearing a plain white set, it was the first ever set matt had bought for her. so to them it was special. his head goes straight to his hands and she shakes his head, y/n laughs, looking at the cameras.
the photographer leaves to get an extra battery and matt lifts his head up. "baby, i don't know how much longer i can wait." he whispers in her ear. "only two more hours, mkay?" she grabs his chin, pecking his lips quickly. "two hours to long." he mutters, going back to look at the polaroid.
matt can't wait to go to their shared home and enjoy their first night as newlyweds. he also can't wait to take her dress off and toss it somewhere in their room along with his clothes. he already plans on keeping the polaroids safe in his wallet.
polaroid five (but the front side wink wink)
it was nearing eleven pm and guest were starting to leave here and there. the couple was once again busy by the guests saying their goodbyes and congratulating them once more. it was the second to last photo of the night and matt was getting antsy, waiting for a new picture to hold him up while he waits to get home. as matt was sipping on his hard seltzer, stella walked over to him with a huge smile on her face. matt downs his drink, giving the empty can to chris so he can throw it away, matt rubs his hands together. "let's see what we got now." he looks over at y/n who is smiling knowing this is a more exposed picture.
stella stood in front of matt, "here you go mister, it's a good one." she hands him the picture before walking away to gia who is once again filming. he looks around making sure nobody is able to see. flipping it over, he gets flustered all over again. her tits are now on display as one of her hand are in her hair. looking around to try and spot y/n he quickly spots her short white dress and she's already looking at him, smirking. gia turns off the camera, going to get her picture she's about to give him in a couple of minutes. matt lifts his finger in a come hither movement to y/n
following matt's motions, y/n makes her way to him. "can i help you?" she acts innocent. "i'm debating whether or not to ditch our wedding and go home." he looks at the picture once more before putting it in his pocket and looking into her eyes. his pupils are dialed and full with hunger and desire, y/n can't help but smirk. "just a bit more, i promise." she goes on her tip toes and kisses him. "i'm taking it you liked this one more?" matt nods, throwing his head into her shoulder groaning.
"i need you now."
polaroid six (middle pic but less clothing iykwim)
the moment matt has been waiting for, the final picture. he noticed that as he was given the pictures they were getting more and more suggestive. he believed that this last one was going to be very different. she was going to be on full display and he was excited, knowing that he'll get to have her in less than an hour. he was thanking their past selves for choosing a close venue to their home. the quicker he gets them home, the quicker he gets to show her how much he loves her.
gia was the last to give him a picture so he went up to her. "i believe you have something for me?" he widens his eyes and gives her a knowing look. "thirsty are we?" she giggles, grabbing her phone and taking her phone case off and grabbing the picture. "have fun, kid. i'll take care of the mess here." she hands the picture over to him and pats his shoulder as she walks away.
like a routine, he looks around making sure nobody can see it and flips it over. he feels the blood rush to his cock. she's completely naked in this one. although her leg is covering her pussy, he can already imagine it. staring a bit longer, he puts in safely in his pocket and looks for y/n so he can get them out of here. spotting her a few feet away he walks over to her. "get your stuff, we're leaving." he grabs her waist from behind.
"yes, baby." she smirks.
#matt sturniolo#matthew sturniolo#chris sturniolo#christopher sturniolo#nick sturniolo#nicolas sturniolo#sturniolo triplets#sturniolo smut#sturniolo x reader#chris smut#space camp#angst#fluff#chris sturniolo fanfic#fresh love#matthew sturniolo fanfic#matt sturniolo fanfic#matt x y/n#matt x reader#chris x y/n#chris x reader#smut
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reunited
author's note: just a little drabble to make up for my absence. this takes place in the nothing happened in the way i wanted verse about six months after reader and matt get back together (aka stanley cup finals).
summary: you told matt you couldn't make it to the stanley cup finals...and yet here you are
pairing: matthew tkachuk x reader
warnings: cursing? pda?
you heard the disappointment in matt’s voice when you told him you couldn't make it to his playoff games. you'd managed to come to a game vs. the rangers, but when the panthers made it to the finals, it was clear that your schedule might not even allow you a week off. but when you looked at the calendar and saw you had an opening before you summer internship, you immediately booked a flight to miami.
everything was set.
until two days before game seven, the flight was canceled.
“matt, i’m so sorry—”
“baby, it’s fine. you can’t control it.”
“i’m trying to look for flights but they're all full.” you could hear the way he tried to stifle his sigh. but you knew him like the back of your hand, you knew how much this meant to him, how close he came last year. and you wanted to be there. you knew he wanted you to be there.
which is why you took your airplane refund (and a little out of savings) and starting looking at rental cars.
in hindsight, making an eighteen hour trip alone was not the smartest decision you ever made, and it surely wasn't a choice matt would approve of if he knew about it. but maybe he'd be so caught up in the post game that he wouldn't ask how you got there.
when you got into the city, taryn was the one who met you at their hotel. she smiled and gave you a tight hug.
“how was the drive? not too bad i hope?”
you gave her a sheepish smile. “i might need another five hour energy.”
she bumped her shoulder with yours. “i’m sure the game will be hyped enough to wake you up.”
“thank you for waiting for me.”
taryn’s laugh was immediately swallowed up by the sounds of traffic, but you felt it just the same. “matt would kill us if we left you to walk to the arena alone.”
“he doesn't know i’m here, does he?”
she shook her head. “we haven’t said a word. but please believe he's done nothing but mope about it.”
you rolled your eyes. “he doesn’t have time to mope, not when winning the cup is so close.”
and it was.
you couldn't remember a time where you'd screamed as loud as you had. your blood was pumping, heart pounding, you were torn between squeezing your eyes shut from anxiety and keeping them focused on the game. maybe after the game, you'd apologize to taryn for holding her arm so tightly, but she was squeezing yours back just as hard.
you watched as they kept the puck in the corner as the clock ran down. the nail polish you'd painted on your fingernails were in fragmented chips on the floor. your eyes kept darting from the jumbotron to the ice, back and forth back and forth.
but the buzzer went off and your boyfriend hopped onto the ice with his teammates. taryn was pulling you into a threeway hug with brady. before you knew it, you were being shuffled out of your seats, down the stairs, and onto the ice.
you were operating on autopilot, sticking close to taryn and brady. you were in the back, behind his parents and siblings, not really focusing on where you were going, only knowing that taryn’s grip was on your wrist.
people bumped into you, cameras were everywhere, yet your gaze was solely on taryn’s red leather jacket. maybe you should've dressed differently, worn something fancier instead of a jersey and jeans. it was game 7 and your boyfriend just won the stanley cup and you probably looked exhausted and there were going to be pictures that would probably live on the wall of matt’s childhood home for the rest of time.
taryn and brady stopped walking which could only mean that they'd found matt. if you could see over brady´s broad shoulders, you might have been able to see the embrace matt gave his mom, then the massive hug he gave his father. you couldn't hear what was being said, but you a glimpse of a red sleeve hug taryn before brady was next.
matt’s arms went around brady’s shoulders, his head peeking over, when the two of you made eye contact for the first time in weeks. his blue eyes widened in shock before he physically shoved brady off of him and out of the way.
“no way!” matt said over the noise before you were being yanked into his arms, lips pressed against his. it was clumsy and mostly teeth, but who could blame either of you? he’d just won the stanley cup.
you pulled away first with matt still chasing your lips until you placed a hand on his chest. “congrats, baby.”
“what're you doing here? i thought you said you couldn't make it! how’d you even get here?”
you smiled sheepishly. “i drove.”
matt’s smile dropped for a moment as he rolled his eyes. he placed a kiss on your forehead and brought you into your chest. “you're an idiot, but i love you.”
“i love you, stanley cup champion.”
he preened for a moment until he realized you'd successfully navigated the conversation back from yourself. “don’t think we won't talk about that later, baby.”
as the celebrations continued, regardless of who came up to him, matt’s hands never left your body. maybe it was the high of winning or maybe it was because you hadn't seen him since game five against the rangers but he wouldn't let you out of his sight. you tried to sneak away to stand with his family while he was being interviewed, but he never let you get far enough. at one point, you were standing just far enough to be out of shot of the camera, but close enough to where he was somewhat paying attention to the reporter interviewing him.
“you sure you don't wanna come with me?” he asked after the last interview.
“matt, i promise she does not wanna go into a locker room with you and your sweaty teammates,” taryn chirped. “i’m sure you can survive without seeing her for a little bit.”
he didn’t look convinced.
“whenever you're finished, i’ll be ready to do whatever you want. i’m here for a week.”
his eyes lit up right before he kissed you again. “fuck yes.”
you laughed and pushed him away. “go celebrate with your teammates, we’ll be ready when you are.”
he glanced over his shoulder at his teammates and then back at you. “i love you.” he started moving backwards but kept his eyes trained solely on you, not a care in the world as to who he was bumping into. “and don't think i’m not gonna say something about you driving eighteen and a half hours.”
he knew the time it took?
“how’d you know how long i drove?”
a familiar smirk graced his lips. “baby, i always know how far you are from me.”
“you’re both sickening,” taryn joked as matt disappeared down the tunnel.
“maybe, but i love him.”
#matthew tkachuk x reader#matthew tkachuk imagine#matthew tkachuk#nhl blurb#nhl imagines#nhl imagine
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after seeing so much one direction content these past couple of days, it got me thinking. one direction really was the last boyband to ever happen. no one will ever come close to what they did in only six years. it’s a once in a generation kind of thing to happen. they didn’t even win the x factor and ended up being the show’s biggest act, 14 years later.
yes, they were manufactured, but at the same time, they were the least manufactured band to ever exist in recent times. they didn’t dance, they weren’t actually meant to be a band, they got everything they had because of charisma and talent. these boys were so talented and charismatic. they didn’t really dress the same, they were working class teenagers with a dream and they did it. and it was beautiful.
after seeing their statements, it’s finally downing on me that one direction is really over and i will never see all five of them together again. 11 year old me is absolutely devastated, and so is 24, almost 25 year old me.
the fangirl in me never went anywhere, it turns out. i still have my 1d concert tickets (the only one i went to and zayn was still in the band!), my albums and dvds, books, theater tickets and every once in a while i would take them out of the box and reminisce of the good old days, never thinking i would mourn one of them so soon. i genuinely thought i would be way older when they would go.
i can’t help but feel so sad that liam’s last years were so erratic and horrible. he was hurting deeply and he deeply hurt other people, and there is no excuse for what he did. i mourn what he once was, what he could have been and how it all ended up being. i take maya’s allegations seriously and i encourage you to do the same. what she is going through right now is impossible to imagine.
for those saying they’re glad “an abuser died”, think about what you’re saying. his death helps no one. his victims will never get justice, he will not take accountability for his actions. no one will ever get closure.
for those saying they feel bad for hating or mocking him, you really should. he was called an opportunist for showing up at the boys’ concerts and yet, when harry would do it, everyone loved it.
liam wasn’t perfect, he fucked up a lot, but like anyone, he had the right to, at the very least, apologize. 31 is too young, and no one deserves to go like this.
all i think about is his little son, who will grow up without his dad. no kid should ever lose their parent, especially at such an young age. the fact that he never once exposed his son to the media (like many celebrities do) to protect his privacy tells me that he loved his boy and knew all too well the damage this exposure would cause.
i saw that some 1d songs are trending again, and as much as i would love to take the day to listen to them, it is too soon. i haven’t been able to watch friends since matthew perry died, haven’t been able to watch brooklyn 99 since andre bragher died and will not be able to listen to 1d for a while.
it’s too soon.
call me dramatic, i don’t really care. the most magical part of my adolescence has ended tragically and i am really at a loss.
for those who are conflicted as i am, take your time. it is okay to be sad he’s gone and, at the same time, feel disappointed or even angry. it is okay to mourn and, at the same time, support maya.
edit: i would also like to express my support to his parents, sisters, cheryl, kate and friends.
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[[and then I met you || ch 22]]
Series: Daredevil || Pairing: Matt Murdock x Fem!Reader || Rating: Explicit
Summary:
A one-night stand years ago gave you a daughter and you are now able to put a name to her father – Matthew Murdock. Everything is about to change again as you navigate trying to integrate your life with that of the handsome and charming blind lawyer’s and Matt realizes he needs to not only protect his new family from Hell's Kitchen, but from the world.
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It takes you a little over an hour to get Minnie to go down for bed. Tomorrow is her birthday party and to say she is excited is an understatement. She was practically jumping off the walls and it took three different books, a bottle, and two lullabies to finally get her to drift off. You are thankful when she doesn’t sit up again and call for you after five minutes, because you have a lot to do.
You need to clean up the apartment and decorate, you need to prepare pancake batter for a princess style breakfast, you need to finish wrapping presents, and you need to set up the couch for Matt. He will be coming by after his Patrol so he can stay the night and Minnie can wake up to the surprise of him being there, which is the perfect way to start her celebratory weekend.
But before any of that, you need to go take a shower so you can have a proper breakdown.
When you were younger, you believed crying was a sign of weakness. Your parents had treated it as such, always dismissive if you cried. The reason had never mattered - shedding tears was pointless and for children, so you had learned to bottle everything up and push it all down until the act of crying physically hurt you. Only very recently did you accept that crying is healthy.
You still hate doing it, though, and the only way you have found to balance your shame and your need for that emotional release is to treat it like another task you need to accomplish.
You triple check your daughter is truly asleep before you close the door to the bathroom and start the water. You keep yourself composed as you strip and only once you are under the spray do you let the tears start to fall.
So much has happened in such a short time and your anxiety has been through the roof.
The first bill for your hospital stay arrived today and you have been too scared to open it. You are terrified to go back into medical debt - giving birth in the United States had drained a lot of your savings and you have built it back up. You know there are all sorts of hidden fees, and you are going to need to do so much work contacting the various billing offices to try to get prices down.
It isn’t even like you are fully recovered from being in the hospital in the first place. You only just finished your antibiotics last week and your ear still randomly throbs or rings.
But honestly, you don’t know if that is from being sick or almost having your head bashed in.
You thought you would be okay after the attack. You thought Minnie would be the one with problems - having nightmares and jumping at shadows - but after the first day of making sure you were okay, she’s been fine. You haven’t been.
You’ve been plagued with nightmares about hands around your neck. You’ve been jumping at shadows when you leave the apartment.
You keep constantly checking your locks and you debate ordering pepper spray.
You don’t know what to do.
You aren’t okay.
You don’t feel safe.
The only time you have felt secure is when Matt was there to hold you and remembering such only signals your brain to send a new wave of tears.
He confuses you in a way no one else ever has.
You have never met anyone who cares so much before. It is overwhelming how much he loves Hell’s Kitchen - enough so to become a vigilante to protect it - and it is overwhelming how much he loves Minnie. You thought only you could love her that much.
Seeing them together does things to your heart you don’t understand. You just want to watch them play and bond until the end of time. They smile and laugh, and it is the only time you ever feel Whole. You feel like everything is perfect when the three of you are together.
You don’t know what to make of that. You don’t trust yourself with it - you’ve never felt like that before and you are scared that if you think too hard about it, you’ll find a flaw and the feeling will be ruined.
You just want Matt to hold you while the two of you watch Minnie play and that isn’t an okay fantasy for you to have. You don’t have that type of relationship with him.
He is a naturally touchy person with a huge heart. You’ve seen him hug Karen and Foggy before and you know he has only ever wrapped his arms around you to comfort you.
And he wants to comfort you because you are the mother of his child. He wouldn’t be around if it weren’t for Minnie and that is something you need to remind yourself of.
Matt loves Minnie. Family is extremely important to him, and he has told you time and time again that he strives to be the best dad possible for her - so of course that means he needs to take care of you and make sure you have a positive relationship.
If you and Matt butt heads, that wouldn’t be what was best for Minnie.
You need to do what is best for Minnie.
Which means you need to stop crying and get to work.
You wipe at your tears until they start to slow, then wash your face while still under the spray. It takes a minute or two for you to fully calm down, but once you do, it is like the tap is turned off. Crying time is over, so you stop your shower and quickly dry off so you can get dressed.
You feel better, but in a kind of dull way. It is like all the pressures in your life have been turned down to something more manageable and you know you will be able to focus on your tasks without slipping into a panic attack.
The apartment is not nearly as dirty as you believed it to be. You have to straighten some things up and you take the time to wipe down all the flat surfaces, but after that, you start putting things up. There’s a pink and yellow Happy Birthday banner and you blow up a few inflatables you found shaped like flowers and stick them to the walls. You twirl streamers together to decorate the back of the couch and the dining chairs, and your favorite piece is the pink sparkle fringe to hang over the hallway entrance. It isn’t the most elaborate of set ups, but you know Minnie will love it and that is all that matters to you.
Once your living space is Birthday themed, you turn to the kitchen. You went shopping today to make sure you had everything needed for a spectacular breakfast. You found a recipe for extra fluffy pancakes, and it seems easy enough - it calls for letting the batter rest overnight and you particularly like that as it is one less thing to do in the morning while trying to handle a rowdy toddler.
It doesn’t take long to get everything prepped and before you know it, it has been close to two hours since you put Minnie down to sleep and you feel it is finally safe to bring her presents out of their hidey holes to be wrapped.
She has grown a bit since you last bought her clothes, so you got her a nice little haul, including a new princess dress for her to wear to the zoo. It has sparkles and tulle and the dress comes with a matching crown you just know she won’t want to take off. You are extremely proud of the find.
You didn’t just get her clothes, though. Minnie has been more and more interested in helping you cook, so you got her a little kitchen play set. It comes with pots and pans, knives, utensils, bowls, plates, and some fake food. You thought it would be fun to have her practice her skills - she’s a pro at helping you stir and mix, and she knows how to use a butter knife to cut up fruit. You hope she enjoys pretending to wash her dishes, so you lure you into helping into that part of cooking, but you don’t think anyone finds that chore fun.
Before you can start wrapping, you need to go through everything and remove all the tags and stickers. It is a boring activity that takes far too long, so you decide you are going to multitask while doing so. You grab your laptop and notebook and settle down among your pile of bags.
Since your talk with Matt about Daredevil, you have been in research mode. The first few nights, you read every article you could find about the Devil. You started with the reputable sources - purely focusing on news reports - and once you had a timeline of events down, you switched to opinion pieces. You quickly ended up sorting those into three categories - positive outlooks, negative outlooks, and outlooks written by Karen Page.
You took notes on everything - making pro and con lists on each major event and circling back to jot down questions you had. You felt insane - and frankly a little invasive - but it was how you processed things. You wanted it all laid out nicely in front of you so you could come to your own conclusions.
But to get to that final conclusion, you still have a lot of internet sleuthing to do, so you open up a new internet tab.
One of the most important things you want to know about Daredevil is how real people feel about him. Published articles are always biased - it is in their nature to be based purely on who produces them - but social media lets the mass in on the conversation. You learned that well after the Attack on New York.
You remember the majority of the news singing praise for the Avengers and how they saved the Earth - which you truly did appreciate - but no one came and spoke to the people whose lives had been ruined. Sure, they talked about how much destruction had happened and how much it would cost to rebuild, but no one had mentioned how Hell’s Kitchen and Chelsea had been almost flattened. No one cared about the low-cost homes that had been destroyed or the poor people crushed in debris - not when they could talk about the Big Bank buildings the Hulk had run through. Why talk about those genuinely affected when you could bring in a mouthpiece who was halfway across the world?
Iron Man didn’t give two shits about the people whose lives he saved. If he did, he’d help them in the aftermath, and he didn’t. None of the Heroes did - they started going around the world while an uncaring government was left to clean up the mess. Repairs went to the lowest bidder and many things were deemed too expensive and just left to crumble.
But only internet forums and ten second social media videos talked about that.
Matt talks so passionately about helping people in Hell’s Kitchen, so you need to know if it is real, or just all a puff piece.
You look first into the forums and to your surprise, there is a whole section for New York vigilantes. You resist the urge to dive into the threads about Spider-Man and the Hero of Harlem and you have to scroll to the bottom of the front page to find something about Daredevil.
It is CCTV footage of Daredevil chasing off what looks to be some teenagers trying to rob a pawn shop and there are a few dozen comments under it. You smile as you start to read them - the majority of it is praise for Matt, with the few negative comments being about the quality of footage.
And each thread you find about Daredevil is like that. You expected to see issues with excessive force like you saw in the opinion pieces, but there is nothing. People who you can tell are locals all comment about how he doesn’t hurt kids, and his punishments reflect the severity of the crime. Muggers get a few good swats while those who commit domestic violence are given as good as they gave. It is gang members and real dangers who end up in the hospital. There are about a handful of posts giving firsthand accounts of how the Devil helped them - ranging from them being in serious danger to Matt helping a drunk woman safely get a cab.
From what you can see, the people who post in this forum like the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen and genuinely feel safer with him around. The site is a little niche, though, so you switch to a more popular platform to see if you can find different opinions and different opinions you find.
Just not the ones you expected.
There is a new picture of the Devil that has gained traction in his tag that is rather good quality - Matt is squatting on a roof, seemingly observing a street, and is framed in such a way to show off his lower half. His thighs, which you know are all muscle, are highlighted wonderfully and the angle of the photo only emphasizes his backside. His upper back and shoulders are all in shadow, but you can tell just how broad they are.
Twitter absolutely loves the image, and you think you have to agree with them. You can feel your cheeks heating up and you can’t seem to tear your eyes away from the screen.
Matt is beyond physically attractive, and it is no wonder the internet is lusting after him. There is a litany of lewd comments from multiple people and one made by a user with a cartoon frog as their profile picture has your core twitching and you quickly hide your face in your hands.
“imagine him bending you over a rooftop and fucking you until all you can do is drool ♥”
You don’t want to think dirty thoughts about Matt. It makes you feel awkward and guilty but mostly they make you Want, and you desperately want to bat that away.
You very obviously have slept with him before and know what a good lover he is. You know what his skin feels like against yours and your mouth goes dry at the memory of how loudly he moaned while between your legs. His stamina is no joke, and you can only imagine it has improved since he’s started being a vigilante.
You have no doubt he could easily fuck someone stupid.
You tell yourself you can’t think like this - you are supposed to be researching Daredevil to figure out how you feel about Matt being a vigilante - not ogling pictures of his ass and remembering your night together.
You gently smack your cheeks a few times and tell yourself to focus.
That only serves to make you more flush, so you make the executive decision that you have had enough screen time for the night and slam shut your laptop.
You have removed all the tags from the clothes, and you only have a few UPC stickers to pull off fake food, so you hurry through those so you can get to actually wrapping presents and not thinking about what you saw.
It is easy for you to get quickly lost in this new activity. Your perfectionist nature has you needing to make sure every crease is even and crisp and that each present looks picturesque, and you can't do that while distracted. Your thoughts shift from the way Matt’s breath felt against your skin to how many gifts Minnie has and how each one needs to look unique.
You know Minnie is going to tear through them like a wildfire, but it is important to you to make sure love is poured into everything.
You never got that as a child. Your birthdays were practical affairs and more often than not your present was to go clothes shopping, so you didn’t get to unwrap things or have that grand surprise. You don’t want that for Minnie. You want her to feel like an absolute princess on her special day and if that means rewrapping the same present four times to make it perfect, then that is what you will do.
You are finalizing bow placements on the gift bags you had to use for odd shaped items when your phone vibrates with an alert.
For a split second you are confused - it is rather late, and you’ve muted most app notifications - but then you remember Matt is meant to be coming over.
You don’t know how it could have slipped your mind and embarrassment burns through you.
How are you going to face him after staring at a picture of his ass until your brain broke?
You hesitate to check your phone, but when you do, you obviously have a text from him saying he is on his way. You groan to yourself, wondering how you can save yourself from this awkward situation?
Maybe you can go to bed early. You aren’t at all tired - you usually are up for another few hours - but you have a long weekend ahead of you. You will need rest.
In your bed.
Where Matt will not be.
Because, for the first time in a while, he will be sleeping on the couch.
Which you still need to prepare.
You finish fussing with Minnie’s bounty of presents and set about arranging them up the Happy Birthday banner like it is a Christmas tree. You have to resist your urge to nitpick and instead turn your focus to cleaning up your mess. You hurriedly shove the pile of trash you made into a bag so you can toss it and your wrapping supplies are tucked into the back of the closet, where they will live until you need them again.
You do a quick once over to make sure everything is neat and birthday ready before you fetch your spare pillow and blanket.
You try to not feel guilty as you start making up the couch. You know it isn’t the most comfortable and Matt will probably be sore after doing God knows what all night, but you can’t offer him your bed again. There is no reason for him to be in your bed. As frantic as you are, you don’t need any comforting.
You just need to stop thinking.
But not in that way.
“Stop,” you hiss at yourself. “Stop being a slut. Pure thoughts. Have pure thoughts.”
Scolding yourself does not work as well as you mean it to and all you can do is pour your concentration into folding and refolding the blanket. You roll it up tight first like it is a sleeping bag, then you think that is stupid, so you fold it into a triangle. You realize that is trying way too hard, so into a square it goes.
The knock at the door startles you and to your credit, you don’t scream.
You do, however, bury your face into your hands again and take a deep breath. You are panicking over nothing. Everything is just fine. You are overthinking.
You mentally chant that mantra as you go to the door. You hesitate to open it, needing the extra moment to center yourself, and you are surprised you don’t automatically close it again at the sight of Matt.
His normal daytime attire is a suit, and he wears them like a model, but you much prefer him dressed down as he is now. He’s in a t-shirt and joggers, with a five o’clock shadow and fluffed up hair, and he looks devastatingly handsome. He looks friendly and soft, but everything is just tight enough to show off how toned he is.
Your body reacts exactly like it did to the picture, but this time you can’t hide.
So, you run instead.
“Come on in,” you practically squeak out before hurrying to get out of his way. He’s got a gym bag with him - probably to carry his clothes for tomorrow - and your entryway isn’t the largest. It makes sense for you to go back to the living room.
“Busy night?” He asks as he closes and locks the door, and you are completely thrown by the question. You must make a confused noise, because he follows up with, “You are out of breath, is everything okay?”
Your heart starts to beat hard in your chest and you can feel your entire body getting hot. Of course, he can tell what is going on with your body and you are nearly in full panic mode.
You need to get to bed and away from him.
You fail at keeping your composure by gesturing around the living room, “Yeah - um - just been busy. Decorating and stuff - it’s a big day tomorrow.”
“It is,” Matt agrees, a charming and boyish smile creeping onto his lips. You tell yourself he must be excited for Minnie’s birthday and that is why he is in such a nice mood.
“How was..how was your night?”
He hums at the question, moving to set his bag down by the couch, “It was relatively quiet. With school starting up again and the heat, the younger crowd isn’t out. I made a few laps but didn’t find anything worth going after.”
“So, there isn’t like…crime every night?” You ask, trying to wrap your head around it all. You haven’t actually asked what a Patrol consists of, so you don’t know what the average one is like.
“Despite what everyone thinks, no. There’s a good number of nights where I just keep things tidy, but being out helps to deter people as well. Not every night is drug busts and gang wars.”
“That is good to know.” And it is - it helps to ease your anxiety that he is out there constantly boxing people. People say New York is crime ridden, but it is not nearly as bad as it is made out to be. It is all scare tactics and sensational news - like the Satanic Panic.
Matt hums again, then tilts his head back towards where you hung the birthday banner, “That is a lot of presents.”
His smile is still bright, and you have to duck your head and bite your lip to keep your mind in check. Your mouth, as always, is quick to quip, “I’m not telling you what is in them. It’s a surprise.”
“A surprise, huh?” He teases, before kneeling down by his bag and unzipping it. You can see colorful wrapping paper peeking through, and you instantly wonder what sort of gift is inside.
“A surprise,” you repeat. “It isn’t any fun if everyone knows what is inside before it is opened.”
“I’ll concede to that, even if it is tempting to peek.” As he says this he stands up, holding three different sized packages in his hands. They aren’t as pristinely wrapped as yours, but you can tell great care went into it and you wonder if Matt did it himself.
“Foggy said they will come over around noon,” he says like you aren’t on the verge of a crisis. “And Maggie was hoping we could stop by on the way to the park. I told her it would be up to you, but I know she has a few things for Minnie. We’re probably going to need to bring that wagon you got.”
The idea of so many people coming to your apartment for a party - especially a toddler’s birthday party - boggles your mind but your heart soars that so many people want to celebrate your daughter. You watch as he goes to add the gift pile and that confusing feeling swirls in your chest again, reminding you this is everything you ever wanted for Minnie. Matt being in your life means more people to love your daughter like she deserves.
“Okay,” you say because that is all your mind can produce. When Matt begins to stand again, you go into a panic thinking he might say something to start a conversation and blurt out, “I should get ready for bed.”
He turns to you, and you don’t know what to expect, but it is not for him to look bemused. He raises his eyebrows over his glasses and lets out a huff of a laugh, “It’s a big day tomorrow. You should get your rest.” He isn’t condescending or rude about it, but you can definitely hear the hint of teasing.
Your face burns as you nod and stupidly repeat, “It’s a big day.” You clear your throat to try and regain some composure and point towards the couch, “I, uh, left you out pillows and a blanket. The..uh..remote for the fan is on the coffee table. I readded the labels after Minnie tore them off.”
“Thank you,” he says with full sincerity, and you cannot take any more of his charm and muscular biceps.
“I’m going to go to bed now,” you tell him as you start to back up towards the bedroom. You know you should tell him about the fringe covering the hallway, but you just want to flee and hide under your covers until your brain stops all of its nonsense.
“Okay.”
As you finally let yourself turn away from Matt, he says your name just loud enough for you to barely hear it. You freeze in place, but it is like your blood is boiling inside you. You breathe out his name in response.
“Good night.”
((“I love you.”))
--
a/n: orz please take this offering of a chapter - my brain is not working up to standard.
Also - Tomorrow is a Big Day
--
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