#matt is my favourite unfortunately

[saltedeggwhites]

....

[malevolencc]

I've been watching doctor who since I was like 5 so I decided to characterize exactly what every era means to me:

9th/10th: faded memories, stories told before bed before you can truly understand them.

11th era: coming of age, childhood wonder. love and safety and fairytales

12th: my deep thought/creative mind. yearning, not sweet but disgusting, painful yearning. grief and death and a love undoing

13th: new beginnings and beautiful change. a feeling of finally.

[likeumeanit9497]

please baby | c. s. |

chris sturniolo x fem!reader

summary: chris and y/n have always had what felt like a perfect relationship. that is, until a few weeks ago. chris had been treating y/n poorly, and after one especially hurtful conversation, she is forced to make a difficult decision. when chris comes to the realization that he is about to lose it all, will he swallow his pride and do what he needs to win her back?

warnings: established relationship; smut; angst; fighting; (relatively) toxic chris; crying; unprotected sex; fluff; 18+

notes: based on this request by 🎀. i've never rlly written an angsty fic before, so let me know what u all think! also wrote this super quick so i don't think it's my best work, but still i hope u enjoy <333

ᵕᵕᵕᵕ୨♡︎୧ᵕᵕᵕᵕ

Through tears, I stared blankly at my phone. My eyes had been glued to my lit up screen for the past two minutes — unmoving, and unable to register what I was reading. Even with blurry vision, Chris’ last message to me was seared into my memory.

Chris: Ffs Y/n, just shut up. I said I’ll get there when i get there jesus.

Just as my brimmed tears finally spilled over, so did the water I was boiling on the stove. The immediate steam and sizzling noises pulled me from my phone, and frustrated for more than one reason, I raced over to the stove and shoved the pot off of the element; leaving the boiling pasta noodles to sit in the water. Just looking at my failed attempt at dinner brought on a new level of pain, as it was a reminder of what I hoped that the night could be.

Chris, my boyfriend of almost one year, was supposed to be coming over tonight. I had been super excited, because both of our schedules had been especially busy lately and we hadn’t been able to spend much time together over the past three weeks, plus I had some good news to share with him about my work. I had wanted to make the night special, so I had decided to cook one of Chris’ favourite meals — chicken alfredo — to surprise him with once he arrived.

He was currently stuck at the warehouse for a merch meeting with Nick, Matt, and his manager, and he had told me that he would come over and spend the night once he was done there. That was a few hours ago, and I had been patiently waiting for an update from him until about thirty minutes ago, when I sent him a simple message asking if he had any idea when he would be done at the warehouse. Little did I know, that singular message would cause a massive storm to erupt.

Y/n: hey babe! just wondering if you have an idea on when you can come over?

Chris: Not rlly sure

Y/n: okay…rough estimate maybe?

Y/n: just have some things i need to get done before u get here hehe

Chris: I’ll get there when I get there.

Y/n: uh..is something wrong?

Chris: No why

Y/n: ur being kinda mean???

Chris: No I’m not

Y/n: ok

Chris: My god Y/n I don’t have time for this rn

Y/n: i just said ok

Y/n: you go ahead and go back to your meeting

Y/n: i was just asking for an update, that’s all.

Y/n: didn’t realize that was such a horrible thing.

Chris: Ffs Y/n, just shut up. I said I’ll get there when i get there jesus.

Even though I hate to admit it, this wasn’t the first time that Chris had been an absolute asshole to me lately. Just last week, he had started a fight that ended with him hanging up the phone on me; only to call back a little while later to apologize. And then a few days before that, he had put zero effort into making time for me when I had tried to make plans for us to go to the movies. And during all of this, he has been incredibly dry over messages. It had been bothering me for a while now, because to me it was clear that he was losing interest. I knew that our relationship would be far from perfect going in to it, considering Chris had never been in a real relationship before me, but deep down I hoped that it would always be as perfect as it was at the beginning. Unfortunately for my hopes and dreams, his actions — or lack thereof — were shattering.

I wasn’t some oblivious girlfriend either; it was clear to me that Chris was going through something. I knew that for a fact, but every time I tried to get him to open up to me about it all, he shut me down with lame excuses: “Oh, I’m just tired,” or, “I’ve just been stressed lately”. I figured that he just needed time, and that eventually he would come to me and explain exactly what had been going on so that I could help him through it.

But now, after his hurtful words to me tonight, I was seriously considering my other options. I had been in far too many toxic relationships in the past, and had learned that I deserve more than what I had been accepting. I wouldn’t let myself be Chris’ punching bag anymore, and I knew right then and there that I had an incredibly painful task to do.

Allowing myself to be overtaken by my build up of tears, I slowly walked into my bedroom; turning off the lights and covering myself with my comforter. My shoulders heaved as I let the tears stream down my face; my brain accepting what I needed to do but my body rejecting it in every way possible. Through the tears, I pulled out my phone and sent a quick text to Chris — telling him that I was tired and that he might as well not come at all tonight, but we should talk tomorrow — before curling into a ball and wallowing in my own sorrows.

I stayed in the exact same position for what felt like ages; allowing myself to get all of the emotions out now so that when I had to do what I had to do tomorrow I could do so without breaking down so hard. Eventually, my tears slowed and I felt my burning eyes begin to grow heavy. Sleep was beginning to overtake me, and as I gave into my exhaustion my mind filled with scenes of the nightmare that I was going to have to face tomorrow.

ᵕᵕᵕᵕ୨♡︎୧ᵕᵕᵕᵕ

I was startled out of my sleep by the sound of keys jangling from the direction of my front door. Disoriented, it took me a moment to be overtaken by the feeling of dread that came from hearing that noise. The only person who had a key to my apartment was Chris. Before, hearing his keys at my door filled my stomach with undeniable excitement — now, my stomach did anxious flips knowing what had to be done.

As I heard the door open and close, I rolled over so that I was facing away from my bedroom door and glued my eyes shut; pretending to still be asleep. I heard his soft footsteps on the other side of the door as he wandered through my dark apartment, before a hushed “shit!” broke the silence. After a few moments, I listened as his footsteps grew closer and closer to my bedroom door, and as I heard it slowly creak open, I braced for impact.

The room stayed silent, though I couldn’t really say that for sure since I couldn’t hear anything above the sound of my own racing heart in my ears. I did my best to stay completely still, though it felt like every part of my body was vibrating; waiting for his next move. Suddenly, I felt a shift in my mattress as his body leaned against it, and physically jumped at the feeling of his hand on my shoulder; shaking it gently.

“Y/n, wake up.” He spoke in a faux whisper, and, even though I had been pretending, I felt my body grow hot in anger that he would have the audacity to wake me from my sleep after showing up to my apartment uninvited. However, my body still not understanding that it wouldn’t belong to him much longer, I shot up from my place on the bed and searched for his eyes. The room was pitch black, but I could sense exactly where he was in front of me.

Rubbing my eyes, I searched the bed for my phone, checking the time to find that it was already nearly 2 a.m. I felt the mattress shift once again and watched his faint outline as he sat on his side of my bed. “Y/n, you left the stove on.” He was still whispering, and his sentence ended in a slight chuckle; clearly oblivious to the decision that I had made on my own just hours before.

Too heartbroken to really care about the stove, I shrugged my shoulders. “Whoops.” Was all I said to the silent room. “What happened? You fall asleep in the middle of making dinner or something?” His voice was still light-hearted, and was far from a tone that matched his previous texts to me. It made it so difficult for me to remember what I had to do.

“Turn the lamp on please.” I said simply, using every ounce of strength in my body to keep my tone monotonous. Chris stayed still for a moment, clearly thrown off by my behaviour. “Uh, okay.” He finally said as he leaned toward the bedside table closest to him and switched on the warm-toned light. After allowing my eyes time to adjust to the sudden brightness, they immediately fell on him.

Oh, my Chris.

His beautiful blue eyes were so kind and bright, his long hair was wet and messily draped across his forehead, and his matching oversized sweat set made me want nothing more than to curl into him and breathe him in. He stared at me blankly for a moment, clearly beginning to register that I was upset, before finally speaking. “I’m really sorry about earlier, baby. I had been in the meeting for hours and was getting really stressed out.” I felt the lump in my throat begin to grow. Some variation of that exact sentence had been the same excuse he had given me each and every time he had hurt me over the past few weeks, and it had lost its sincerity long ago. So, instead of giving into his cheap apology, I sat up in my bed and faced him; taking a deep breath before speaking.

“I have to tell you something. And I need you to let me say this without interrupting, or else I’m scared I won’t be able to go through with it. I’ve had to say this for a while now, and now that we are where we are I know it has to be done. So please, let me say it, okay?” His light eyes were focused intensely on me, he was clearly trying to figure out where this conversation was going. But finally, he swallowed before tentatively nodding his head. “O-okay.”

I closed my eyes, feeling my lower lip quiver as I tried to find my footing on this conversation. After taking a shaky breath, I finally found my voice. “I can’t do this anymore, Chris.” Immediately, my attempt at getting all my tears out of the way earlier proved to be a failure; because as soon as the heavy words left my mouth I broke down into sobs.

Over my crying, I heard Chris’ disbelieving voice. “What do you mean you’re done with this? With what? Me?” His voice cracked slightly as he spoke, clearly being hit with the same emotions that I was. I stayed silent — my eyes screwed shut as I wrapped my arms around my torso; doing my best to comfort myself. “Y/n, please tell me what you’re talking about.” He pleaded, and I felt him scoot closer to me on the bed; placing a hesitant hand on my knee.

After catching my breath, I wiped my tears away and opened my eyes to find his frantically searching my face like an uncertain creature. “I know you’re going through something right now,” My voice was coming out nearly silent, but I continued, “And I tried so hard to be there for you, I really did Chris. But you won’t talk to me! Instead, you’ve been taking out all of your frustrations on me and treating me like absolute shit. Do you really think that’s okay?” I fought the lump in my throat as I got my words out, his shattered face no help in that department. Frantically, Chris shook his head. “No. No, it’s not okay, baby, and I’m really sorry. But please, please don’t do this.” His tone tugged at my heart strings as his desperation grew more and more transparent.

Shaking my head and closing my eyes, I shut him down. “Can you tell me why you’ve been acting the way you have?” I knew my question was pointless before I even asked it, but his silence confirmed it. Releasing an ironic chuckle, I continued. “I promised myself that I would never let another man treat me badly. I’ve put up with it far too many times, and no matter how much I love you, Chris, I can’t allow you to speak to me the way you have been lately.”

I opened my eyes and felt my heart sink at his ghostly expression, clearly on the verge of losing his shit. I brought a hand up to his cheek and stroked it for a moment, and as I did he closed his eyes and let a few tears fall. “I want you to get better, I really do. But I clearly can’t help you, so you need to do it on your own.” My own words felt like a stab in the chest, and I couldn’t help the tears as they streamed down my face. “Come to me when you’ve worked through your shit, and we can see if we can repair things. But for now, I need you to leave.”

At that, Chris’ eyes shot open in a panic and he immediately grabbed onto my leg. “No, Y/n, please. Don’t do this.” I turned my head away from him as his desperation became too much to bear. His hands traveled across my body in anguish, clearly losing all control of his emotions as the reality of our situation began to set in for him. His body slid off of the bed as he dissolved into tears against my comforter. Still having the instinct to comfort him, I scooted towards the edge of the bed, where I let my legs stretch out beside him as I ran my hands through his beautiful curls.

“Please, please baby, I swear to god I can’t do this shit without you.” He wretchedly pleaded with me, clutching my leg and trailing distressed kisses along it. I looked up at the sky, too pained by the scene that was playing out in front of me. “Chris, please, I need you to go.” I begged him, needing to put him out of his misery so that I could hurt in private. He maintained his grasp on my leg, sobbing inconsolably against it. I gave him a moment, in which he slowly began to regain control of his emotions. I watched as his sobbing grew quieter and his breathing slowed, before finally watching as he pulled himself up to his feet; the weight of our conversation evident in the way he held himself weakly.

He glanced down at me quickly, his blue eyes red and puffy, before turning away in what looked like shame. In utter silence, he turned and began walking slowly in the direction of my bedroom door. With his hand on the door knob, he paused for a moment. “I’m sorry.” His words were so quiet I could have easily missed them, but the sincerity cut through my heart like a knife. That sincerity hadn’t been present in any of the other apologies he gave me, and I was gutted that it appeared too late.

And then just like that, he was gone. I felt all the air leave my chest at the realization of what I had just done, and let my body fall back against my bed as tears once again poured down my cheeks. I couldn’t help but immediately question whether or not I had done the right thing. Was I a horrible person for abandoning the man I loved when he was so clearly dealing with something? Did I allow my fears of repeating my past distort my current reality? Were the things he said to me really that bad?

I was pulled out of my tormenting thoughts by a soft voice coming from my doorway.

“My meeting today wasn’t about merch.”

That was all that he said. That was all it took for my heart to begin to beat for him again. One small hint of vulnerability. Feeling humiliated internally, I sat up on my elbows and found him hovering in the doorway. “Talk to me about it Chris.” I sounded exacerbated even to my own ears, feeling frustrated from all of the overwhelming emotions that the evening held. Tentatively, he walked over to the bed and sat beside me on the edge, arms resting on his knees. After clearing his throat, he began to explain. “The meeting today wasn’t about merch, it wasn’t really about anything to be honest.” Confused, I waited in silence for him to continue.

“A few weeks ago, Laura brought up the idea of going on another tour. A European tour.” He paused for a moment. “Nick and Matt immediately agreed and wanted to start planning everything so that we could do it this summer, but I said I didn’t want to do it.” I watched the back of his head, slightly shocked by his words since I knew that he had enjoyed the previous tours so much. “We would be overseas for a month, and I didn’t want to be so far away from you for that long. So I told them I didn’t wanna do it.” He took a deep breath. “Now, Matt and Nick are super pissed at me. They’ve both been giving me the silent treatment for weeks outside of the few times when they’ve just tore me a new one. And sure, we’ve all fought before, but never this bad. It’s been going on for so long, and I feel like I’ve lost sight of everything without having them be there for me.” His voice grew thick with emotion, and I fought the urge to cry along with him.

“Things have gotten so bad between us, that Laura forced us all to come in tonight to basically have a supervised argument. We sat there for hours, Y/n, just screaming at each other. And we got nowhere. I stood firm in what I wanted and so did they, so that’s why it went on for so long. And that’s also why I have been treating you like a complete dick lately. Because even though you had no clue what was going on, I think a part of me was kinda blaming you for all this shit. And I know that wasn’t fair, I really do. I just didn’t know how to tell you all of this because I’ve never been in a situation like this before.”

He turned to look at me, grabbing at my hand that was lying dormant in the space between us. “And I’m so, so sorry that I treated you the way I did. You didn’t deserve it. At all. But please baby, please don’t leave me. Because if you do, I will be completely lost. You are my anchor, and I need you to be there for me.” Tears rolled down my face as his voice cracked in desperation. “And I swear, baby, I won’t treat you like shit ever again. If you can’t believe me, and if you’re really truly done, I’ll understand. But please, Y/n, if there’s any part of you that believes me, please don’t leave.” He dropped his head into my lap, wrapping his arm around my waist and gripping onto my oversized t-shirt. Out of instinct, I brought my hand to his face and began stroking it softly; wiping away his tears as I did.

We stayed that way for a long time, both of us sniffling, heaving messes. I couldn’t lie, his honesty truly impacted me. I knew that he had to have gone against every single one of his instincts to finally tell me what had been going on in his life, and the fact that he did meant so much to me. I knew that Chris was extremely reliant on his brothers being a constant in his life, and couldn’t even imagine how lost he must feel knowing that they’re against him. His problem was much more severe than I thought it would have been prior to him opening up, and I felt an overwhelming amount of empathy for him. I knew that his poor treatment of me — as wrong as it was — had been completely out of character, and as I sat there stroking his soft cheek, I decided that I would believe him.

“Come up here.” I said, my voice barely above a whisper. Immediately, Chris lifted his head off of my thighs and sat up, his face inches from mine. Without a moment of hesitation, I leaned forward and engulfed his lips with my own. He immediately reciprocated, and both of our tongues worked in unison to lap up the salty taste of each other’s tears. Chris leaned forward, encouraging me to fall back against my pillows as he continued his passionate assault on my lips. His mouth travelled down my neck, where I shuddered as I felt him place sucks and nibbles sure to leave a trail of purple bruises. His body was warm on top of mine, and I had never before felt so present with him; so aware of his every movement.

He moved down my body, stopping briefly at my chest to remove my shirt, before continuing down below my waist. With his tongue, he created a path from just below my belly button to my right hip bone, where he left another purple bruise; causing my skin to break out in goose bumps. Lifting my hips, he wasted no time in pulling my boy shorts off of my body and leaving me completely bare. He continued to leave gentle kisses along each square inch of my body surrounding my core, but making sure to leave the place where I needed his mouth the most completely untouched.

I began to grow impatient, my body temperature increasing as my body filled with arousal. As he placed a kiss on my inner thigh, I bucked my hips up in frustration; practically begging for contact. Noticing my agitation, Chris almost immediately obliged, and I gasped out in pleasure as his tongue began working its magic against my clit. With each hand holding up my thighs, Chris swirled his tongue relentlessly against my bundle of nerves. I struggled to keep my body still as his movements continued, and failed miserably once he inserted two of his fingers into my core. “Fuck Chris, t-that’s so good.” I moaned out as his tongue and fingers worked my cunt in harmony. The wet sounds of my arousal grew louder and louder as I began to approach my orgasm, and in reflex my hands tangled in his hair; doing everything I could to keep him exactly where I needed him.

“Gonna cum, baby.” I cried out, and his encouraging hum against my clit was enough to get me there. My back arched off of the bed as my body began to convulse. To keep me in place, Chris took his free hand and placed it firmly on my lower stomach; causing me to scream out in pleasure. His mouth and fingers continued to push me through my orgasm, and didn’t stop even after my nerves became over sensitive. “C-Chris please. Can’t take anymore.” I struggled to get out the words, but he listened. Detaching his mouth from my core, he dragged his body back up my own and came face to face with me.

With the glean of my arousal still on his lips, he kissed me so deep I felt my lungs inflate. I could taste myself on his tongue, and my eyes nearly rolled to the back of my head from the intensity of the moment. I broke the kiss for only a moment to pull his hoodie over his head; relishing in the feeling of his bare chest against my own. Through his sweatpants, I could feel his bulging member press against my pelvis, and I reached in between our bodies and pulled his waistband down along with his boxers. Now completely free, his cock dribbled pre-cum down my stomach. With my hand still between us, I collected what was left of his fluid along his slit before slowly stroking my hand up and down his swollen shaft.

His breath hitched as I continued my movements, and he thoughtlessly bucked his hips into my hand to increase the friction along his trembling member. My hand twisted around his dick for a few more pumps, before I slowly guided it down toward my entrance. Once Chris felt the heat of my core at the tip of his cock, he looked down at me with darkened eyes — still slightly puffy from his previous tears — and dropped his jaw as he began to slide into me.

I gasped at the feeling of my walls stretching around his sizeable girth, and released a breathy moan as he bottomed out. Laying on top of me, he grabbed both sides of my face in between his hands and held it firmly as he began thrusting into me. His eyes never left mine as his hips rolled into me, and I watched in ecstasy at the pleasure visible on his face — as I’m sure he was doing to me. Our bodies smacked together in a steady rhythm and the wet sounds filled the room, adding an additional sensation to my arousal.

“I-I’m so sorry, baby.” Grunted Chris through deep thrusts. “It’s — oh fuck — it’s okay Chris.” I replied as I wrapped my legs around his waist. “Just please — please tell me you’re mine.” His voice sounded desperate and choppy, most likely caused by a combination of arousal and real distress. His choice of words and the tone at which he said them caused my stomach to do a flip, and I felt my second orgasm approach. Fighting the urge to give into the overwhelming feeling, I reached up and swiped his glistening lip with my thumb. “I’m yours baby, always.” I managed to respond through my cries of pleasure. Chris smiled down at me lazily before burying his face in my neck; leaving sloppy, breathy kisses along its thin skin.

My walls began to pulse and my skin started to feel like it was being lit on fire; both clear signs that I was extremely overstimulated as I was approaching my orgasm. “Shit, gonna cum again.” I blurted out just as I was hit with a tsunami of an orgasm. My legs tightened around his waist and my nails dug into his arms as I fought to keep my head above water, but my mind grew fuzzy as I spewed guttural profanities into the room as I came in waves.

It didn’t take long for Chris’ orgasm to follow, and that was made clear by his throaty grunts and sloppy pace before he stopped entirely; shouting breathless 'I love yous' into my neck as his cock shot its warm fluid deep inside of me. He eventually pulled out, before curling two fingers into me and shoving all of our conjoined juices up to my cervix. His eyes stayed glued to my cunt as he did so, seemingly in awe of the view.

“You’re all mine, and I’m all yours.” He said it so quiet that he might have just been saying it to himself, before he leaned forward and planted a soft kiss on the crest of my heat; earning a full-body flinch from me.

He came back up to the top of the bed where he laid down beside me, pulling me towards his chest and running a hand up and down my naked back. I felt so secure in his arms — his familiar smell filling my nostrils and calming my mind — that I nearly forgot everything that had happened prior to the past 15 minutes or so. That is, until he spoke.

“So, are we okay?” His voice was tentative, and he was very clearly afraid to hear my answer. I uncurled myself from his body so that I could look up at his lovely face, his desperate eyes scanning my poker face for any sort of hint.

“You will never, ever, speak to me like that again, no matter what.” I kept my voice firm, even when his face immediately relaxed into a grin. “I swear, I won’t baby.” He responded, trying to tuck me back into his chest, but I pushed back slightly. “And, I need you to talk to me about shit you’re going through, Chris. I’m your girlfriend. That’s my job. You need to promise me, you will come to me about anything, and I will do everything I can to help you through it.” He continued to gaze at me, though his wavering eyes and his chewing on his lower lip made it clear that the idea made him anxious. “Promise me, Chris.” I repeated, making it clear how serious I was.

Finally, Chris nodded his head. “I promise, baby. I’ll tell you everything.” I smiled, then, finally feeling secure in our relationship for the first time in weeks. “Then yes, we’re okay.” I responded before planting a soft kiss to his pink lips. “And you and your brothers are going to be okay, too.” His worried expression deepened at the reminder of his conflict with Nick and Matt. “We’ll talk about it more tomorrow once we get some rest, but we can make the tour work. You know, I’ve always wanted to visit Europe.” I watched as his lips began to turn up into a soft smile. “Plus,” I leaned forward to whisper in his ear, “I wouldn’t mind being your groupie.”

He dissolved into giggles at that. “But what about your job?” He asked tentatively. I shrugged. “I actually got promoted today. I was gonna tell you earlier, but y’know.” His face fell momentarily. “I got a raise, but more importantly I got more benefits. Including thirty vacation days.” His face lit up once again, and it was almost like I could see the weight lift off of his shoulders before he attacked my face with kisses. “So let’s have another meeting with Laura and your brothers tomorrow and work this all out. I can come, and we can fix this easily together.” Tears welled in his eyes, and he nodded his head before kissing me hard. “I love you, Y/n.”

I curled myself back into his chest and sighed, taking in the feeling of him mindlessly drawing random shapes on my back. This was the Chris that I knew and loved, and I knew that this is who he really was. He wasn’t perfect, but I never expected him to be. Problems come with every relationship, and of course there was never any guarantee, but I had a feeling that this night would vastly change our relationship for the better.

ᵕᵕᵕᵕ୨♡︎୧ᵕᵕᵕᵕ

[boom-butterflyeffect]

If you don’t mind can you do a NSFW alphabet for Josh or Matt

check out my masterlist for the Matt one! unfortunately it might be a little underwhelming, i haven't looked into his character as much as the others, and i'm only now getting back into writing so my writing is pretty minimal rn, but anyways!

Josh Washington NSFW Alphabet

im honestly so excited for this one, josh is fine as fuck, and in my mind, he's arguably the kinkiest out of them all

A - Aftercare

Josh would get you all cleaned up, kissing you all over while he does so.

B - Body Part (His favourite body part on himself and you)

He loves your lips. Just mesmerised by how pretty they are. His favourite part of himself would probably be his dick, I can't lie

C - Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Messy! gets off to the sight of you with his cum either ON you or dripping out of you.

D - Dirty secret

Has SO MANY ideas for things you two could do. Wouldn't surprise me if he has them written down somewhere.

E - Experience (How experienced he is)

He's got a decent amount of experience, as well as a lot of ideas from the porn he watches.

F - Favorite position

Tbh I feel like Josh would love fucking you from behind while you're on your hands and knees, and he's got his hands on your hips.

G - Goofy (Is he more serious in the moment?)

Can switch back and forth between silly and serious so fast, and you can never quite tell if his seriousness is playful or not.

H - Hair

He keeps it tidy

I - Intimacy

He loves to get up close and personal, whispering in your ear and touching you all over.

J - Jack off

Honestly, a lot. He's got a lot of pent up energy.

K - Kink

I think Josh could potentially enjoy roleplay and costumes, considering how much he seemed to enjoy his whole Psycho act, and with all the movie equipment he has in the basement, I feel like he'd def be into some of the more kinky stuff.

L - Location

Every. Single. Goddamn. Room. In that lodge.

M - Motivation

Literally just seeing you.

N - No (Hard limits)

Anything that goes beyond your basic sadistic stuff, like nothing that would cause bleeding or permanent damage.

O - Oral

Loves both giving and receiving, loves making you squirm with just his tongue, does wonders for his ego seeing you become a mess, and would def be the type to grab you by the hair when receiving and guide your head.

P - Pace

Much like the seriousness, it can switch back and forth really fast. He always keeps you on your toes.

Q - Quickie

Yes. Quick fuck in a college bathroom before class? 100% he's down.

R - Risk

He's all for experimenting and trying out new things, and can enjoy things on the more daring side.

S - Stamina

He's got a LOT of energy, and gets really riled up once he's started.

T - Toys

I could definitely see Josh using toys on you, all sorts of borderline sadistic shit.

U - Unfair

Oh 100% he will degrade and praise you at the same time and leave you confused and whining.

V - Volume

Loud. Very chatty too, and talks you through everything, with all sorts of praise and degradation and teasing and all sorts.

W - Wild card (Random NSFW HC of my choosing)

I could imagine for Halloween he'd dress up as a masked killer from your favourite slasher movie and "hunt you down", he enjoys the thrill of the chase.

X - X-ray (Size)

7 inches (I think I'm just saying the same for all of them tbh idk)

Y - Yearning

Oh he is eager ALL the time, he's the most dirty minded guy in the group, no competition

Z - Zzz

I don't think he'd sleep for a while afterwards tbh, still too high on the adrenaline rush.

Bro it's crazy how much easier this one was than the others, I do really just imagine Josh to be a horny fucker

thank you for the request! Feel free to request other stuff too!

[https-murdock]

Lunchtimes at the Office - Matt Murdock

summary: Matt ‘forgot’ his lunch, maybe you’ll just have to drop it off.

word count: 564 (lil one today)

warnings: allusions to smut, mentions of smut, 18+ MDNI

note: if anyone wants a big sized version fic of this let me know :) <3

When Matt was in the office, one of your favourite things to do was to turn up in your tiniest dress or skirt - because there was nothing he could do about it at all, and it was always almost like for once you could hear his heart beat.

“Hey… sweetheart.” He says, beginning with a happy tone that faded into a note of question after feeling your outfit. He knows exactly which dress you’re wearing by the material, it’s one he always loves to lift up your legs for best access in a rush - It’s definitely short enough to do that.

You can already see his jaw muscles clench as soon as his mouth closes.

“Hey guys! Matt, you forgot your lunch.” you wink, looking at him and seeing his eyes darken even though he doesn’t know exactly what the outfit looks like, he doesn’t need to - he knows why you’re here.

Wandering over to his desk, you close the door behind you - watching Karen smirk to herself, finding it funny how flustered Matt gets each time you turn up. It wasn’t your fault he forgot his lunch… apart from the fact you had hidden it this morning so you had to drop it off.

“What’s up Matt? why are you so quiet today?” you say, trying to hide the laugh that comes out but failing, his head turning in your direction as he lifts you by the hips to place you on his desk. “Don’t play that game.” He growls, kissing your cheek softly, trying to look put together in case someone walks in.

He can’t hide how he’s getting himself worked up. The slight sheen of sweat running itself across his forehead, eyes blinking at a quicker pace than usual. He also can’t hide the way his calloused fingers are tracing themselves across your legs, wishing he was stuck with his head between your thighs making you cum over and over again.

“What game? its not my issue you forgot your lunch. Big lawyer boys need to eat Matt!” You grin, looking up at him from where he looms above you, his tie suddenly feeling very suffocating around his neck.

You can see the cogs turning in his head, thinking of a way he can bend you over his desk and fuck you so hard you can’t walk for a while afterward without Foggy and Karen knowing - but unfortunately that doesn’t seem like it’ll come to fruition.

“You’re killing me sweetheart. i have so much work to do.” Matt groans, hands sitting on your thighs still, stroking up and down and reminding you of the slick forming between them as the ache grows stronger. “You don’t have to do it all now though, right? you can take a few minutes out…” your hands move to his tie, tugging him down slightly letting your lips run across his cheek, and it’s like you can feel the hairs on the back of his neck standing to attention.

Suddenly Matt walks over to his office door, swinging open the door and pointedly saying, “Karen, Fog, I need a moment with my girlfriend can we have a few minutes.” Not even giving them time to respond before closing and locking his door again.

“They’re insatiable.” Foggy sighs, grabbing his lunch and walking out, Karen walking with him still laughing to herself.

[slvt4em1lyprenti2s]

Will you please be quiet?

Summary: You have a song stuck in your head and Emily one has one way to make you be quiet.

Word Count: 1.1k

Fluff, kissing

Pairings: Emily Prentiss x fem!reader

!NOT PROOFREAD!

Reader POV:

“I wanna be your endgame, I wanna be your first string!” I sang as I was getting ready for the day. Music blasting through my apartment, as I pack my go-bag.

I go over to my vanity and put on some quick makeup and keep humming Endgame as it echos through the walls of my bedroom.

I hop into my car to go to work and put my Spotify on shuffle, Endgame comes on again. I’m not complaining but oh my god. This is going to be stuck in my head for days now.

Time skip to when reader gets to Quantico*

I’m minding my own business waiting for my coffee to pour while humming Endgame as Emily walks up behind me.

“Got a song stuck in your head?” Her hand lightly brushed over my waist as she went to stand next to me. Oh my goodness this woman makes butterflies erupt in my stomach by such a small touch.

“Ha, yeah. That obvious huh?” She let out a small laugh as she nodded.

“Yeah well you’ve been here what, an hour? And I don’t think I’ve heard anything but that time leave your mouth.” I lowered my head and shook it laughing at her observation, a blush coating my cheeks.

“Unfortunately, I didn’t come here just to talk about the song planting itself in that pretty little head of yours-“ I don’t let her finish, partially because the blush on my cheek is becoming too noticeable now and also because I know exactly what she’s going to say.

“We have a case.”

“Yes, we do, meet in the round table in 10.” She gives me a small smile and walks away.

Time skip to once they’re on the jet on the way to the case*

“Big reputation, big reputation, ohh you and me, we’d be a big conversation.” I mutter under my breath as I sit next to Emily looking over the file.

“Oh my god! You’re still going huh?” I’m snapped out of my thoughts by her soothing voice, I laugh and look at her honey brown eyes.

“Sorry!” I laughed as I looked back down to the file, her hand found its way onto my thigh under the table, careful not to draw attention to us. “It’s okay, I don’t mind.”

An uncontrollable smile bloomed on my face. I gave her hand a squeeze to say thanks and we both went back to the task at hand.

Time skip to when they’re looking through evidence at the local PD*

“You got anything?” Like asked Rossi.

“Nothing, if this guy did have any enemies he was quick to bury the hatchet as not to be tracked down.” As soon as he said this my brain flickered on with Endgame. Again.

“And I bury hatchets but I keep maps of where I put ‘em.” I hear a giggle next to me and look over and find Emily gazing at me.

“Don’t even,” I sighed “It’s starting to annoy me as well.” She laughed and shook her head and looked back down at the evidence like we had collected from the scenes.

Time skip to a little later*

“Hey what you humming?” Tara asked me as she looked up from the crime scene photos on the table.

“Endgame by Taylor Swift.” I reply without looking up, trying to piece together where the unsub was going to strike next.

“Oh my god! I love Taylor Swift! What’s your favourite album?” Before I could respond Spencer came into the room we, and the rest of the team, were in and started talking.

“Guys, I know where the unsub is going to strike next. The house he grew up in has been condemned and scheduled for demolition so that’s probably where he’s been taking his victims. If he sticks to his pattern, he’ll be going back there at some point after 10pm tonight.” We all started to pack up our things when Emily called out,

“Guys, we need to do a stakeout. We’ll scare him away if we go in there guns drawn and then he’ll go underground so, Reid and JJ, park on the curb near the house, Tara and Matt, go to the end of the road, Rossi and Luke to the other end of the road, you’ll act as a kind of covert roadblock and me and y/n will park up in an lay-by near the house.”

We all got up and went to our assigned SUV and started driving to our destinations. On the way there Emily turned the radio on.

“And I heard about you, ooh, you like the bad ones too.”

“Oh my god! It’s everywhere!” We laughed together at this. What are the chances?! We kept the radio on nonetheless.

As we pulled into the parking space we sat in a comfortable silence for a while, just enjoying each other presence and the peace of an evening stakeout. The sun was setting and I absentmindedly started humming under my breath yet again.

“I don’t wanna miss you, like the other girls do. I don’t wanna hurt yo-“ before I could finish I feel my chin being tugged to the side and a soft pair of lips meeting my own.

To say I was shocked at first was an understatement but I soon melted into the kiss, her thumb caressed my face as our lips moved together. It was the most amazing moment of my life to date. Emily slowly pulled away her face still barely a centimetre away from my own.

“What was that for?” I asked, still skeptical.

“It’s the only thing that I could think of to stop you from singing that damn song!” Laughter broke out between us and as it died down she pulled me back in again for a brief kiss.

“Dinner at my place tomorrow?” She asked gazing into my eyes with our hands intertwined.

“Are you, Unit Chief Emily Prentiss, asking me out on a date?” I smiled so hard my cheeks hurt.

“Yes, I am.” She giggled.

“In that case, dinner tomorrow sounds awesome.” I kiss her again, savouring the taste of her on my lips.

“I’ll take you to and from work so you can stay the night and not worry about your car.” I say thank you as I pull her into another kiss, this one lasting a little longer than the others.

Her hand reaches for the back of my head and pulls me in closer, her tongue swiping my bottom lip asking for permission. Granting it, I open my mouth and let her explore.

“Hey guy! Stop sucking each other’s faces and go back to the PD we got the guy!”

We make eye contact and start laughing hard.

Well Shit. At least I ahoy a date with em!

[boytoykevinday]

Do I even want to know what happened in the last 24 hours 😭 I'm almost afraid to ask but I'm also insanely curious

You probably don't want to know but I'll tell you because you have no choice. This will be long and...awful. But there are sources so that's fun! Please keep in mind that this was all released within 24 hours on Thursday, September 20th, 2024 and that, unfortunately, I haven't mentioned everything.

But! The GOP was certainly having a wild one yesterday.

To start things off:

The first 'Big News' to break was about Mark Robinson.

For those saying 'who the fuck is Mark Robinson', he's the current (R) Lt. Gov of North Carolina that is running for Gov. Before yesterday, he was best known for openly hating LGBT+ and Jewish folks, being a Holocaust denier, being (forcefully) anti abortion, saying it was better when women couldn't vote, anti immigrant, hating the civil rights movement, etc, just being a hateful Evangelical nasty fascist. MAGA to his core. Trump has endorsed him, saying he should be cherished and calling him "MLK on steroids". (Robinson is Black).

So, yeah, that's bad enough right? Yesterday it got even worse. CNN released a report about some comments he made on a porn site forum 12 years ago, the most prominent being 'i'm a black NAZI'. He also commented that he wished slavery was legal and that he'd own a few, and called himself a 'perv' that used to 'peep' on women in public locker rooms when he was a teenager.

Also the tale as old as time that I'm sure you could guess when I mentioned 'GOP' 'loudly transphobic' and 'porn site scandal' - trans porn was a favourite of his. Because of course.

Also of course - the GOP hasn't taken him off the ticket, and he will continue to be the nominee for governor in North Carolina!

Read the article, there's more about him and the situation in general. Mind the warnings.

-

Now on to our favourite worm brained bear eating anti vaxxer conspiracy theorist, Robert F. Kennedy Junior! I'm putting this under a read more now.

The first thing to drop about him yesterday was the news of an investigation after he allegedly cut off the head of a dead whale and took it home 20 years ago. Now I bet you're thinking, wow that's bad! Unfortunately for RFK Jr yesterday got worse. It was then revealed that he (70) was having an affair with right wing journalist Olivia Nuzzi (31) after New York Magazine suspended her.

Everything I learn about RFK Jr I learn against my own will.

-

Saying goodbye to RFK for now, let's move on to Rep. Matt Gaetz of Florida! This Matt Gaetz, with the botox if you didn't recognise him.

Scary lookin, right?

This isn't a completely new story (here's an article about how he alledgedly paid for sex with a minor) but new court filings were released yesterday alledging that he attended a drug-fueled sex party in 2017 with the 17-year-old girl at the center of the alleged sex trafficking scandal.

Sure is great to have such trustworthy men representing this country!

OKAY, on to the next.

-

This wasn't really breaking news because this is just Trump being Trump but he gave a speech at an ANTI ANTISEMITISM EVENT where he preemptively blamed the Jews for being the reason he'll lose this election, telling them they need to get their head checked if they vote for Harris (that's pretty much part of his stump speech by now though) and saying he'll reinstate his Muslim ban. White fascist blaming Jews? Wow, I did Nazi that coming.

-

I genuinely could go on, I really truly could.

Oh! Kamala Harris went on Oprah and it was really nice and not at all insane and she talked to the family of the first known victim of Trump's abortion ban and it was very touching. Trump's official social media then posted a clip of her talking about her gun and saying 'If somebody breaks into my house, they're getting shot' like it was a snatch when in reality Republicans in the comments are saying 'actually, this would make me vote for her'. Thanks, Trump Team for the free advertising!

Misc:

Chris Rufo (known racist and anti immigration right wing activist) got revealed to have an illegal immigrant wife, and then got revealed to be a user of Ashley Madison (database where people go to cheat on their partners)(Robinson was also on Ashley Madison).

Jasmine Crockett during her thing and ripping white republicans to shreds. (idk this was just fun to me)

Actually Republicans and Project 2025 got ripped to shreds and shut down in general by multiple Congress members.

GOP is on the brink of causing a government shutdown, because of COURSE they are.

Cards Against Humanity sues SpaceX over “invasion” of land on US/Mexico border.

Anyway there's actually MORE believe it or not but I can't remember if it happened yesterday. Thank you for reading, I'm always open to discussing current events. I don't think it's a well known fact that I'm into politics because I don't talk about it on tumblr because people are kinda stupid. Anyway!

[empressofthewind]

Hey there, Meronia fan! Do you mind if I ask for Meronia fics recs? And, do you have any fav ships (from any fandom) that the dynamics remind you of Mello/Near?

You can't imagine, how excited I am to find your blog. Let's just say in my older anime/manga group who love Death Note mostly ship Lawlight & Matt/Mello, anti Meronia and are Near haters. So when I said I love Meronia, some blocked me and said I was the weird one. So, I never said it again. But now, after I got out from that group I feel better. Then finding your blog with amazing Mello and Near's metas, I'm so happy! Thanks for your blog...

Thank you very much!!! I'm so happy to hear this :-) in my experience most people on Tumblr are pretty normal about Meronia, and it's SO easy to block/filter users who aren't.

Unfortunately re: ships with similar dynamics, I can't think of any off the top of my head, but I'll put this post in the ship tag; I'm sure someone else will have an answer!! In terms of fic recs, I've actually set up my bookmarks page on AO3 to function like a rec list. I have 36 fics there each with a little blurb and I'm constantly updating it, so hopefully a decent amount that you haven't read! I'll pick 10 of them to link here for easy access (ordered by rating in case you can't/don't want to read the mature ones):

the roof by @lightningblade | 3692 words | Rated T

This is a college AU focused on the development of Mello and Near's relationship through a series of encounters on a rooftop. The writing is GORGEOUS, the progression is masterfully done, and it removes the element of the rivalry without removing the core of what makes Meronia such a great ship! There's also a companion piece up as of yesterday which I'm still recovering from (very very positive).

Dear Mello by @tzviaariella | 4158 words | Rated T

This fic is written during the canon timeline through a series of emails. It's an AU where Mello survives, originally written for the 2023 Meronia Zine but also posted on AO3 (which is what I've linked here). The format is really creative and I'm OBSESSED with the way Mello and Near's dynamic is written. The petty back-and-forth is very entertaining and in-character, and there's a certain familiarity and fondness underlying it that I adore. There are also a few artworks throughout which is a nice treat!!

How to Get Any Guy to Fall in Love with You by Sick_head_Sweet_heart | 7025 words | Rated T

This one has such a late-2000s fandom classic feel to it that I'm surprised it's only a few years old??? It's set at Wammy's House, in which Matt gives Near advice on how to make Mello fall in love with him. The dynamic is insanely cute and I'm obsessed with the way Matt and Near's friendship is characterised here. Them scheming together is something I need more of in fics!!

The Mihael Factor by spiritcrimson | 16 chapters | Rated T

One of the longest completed works I've ever read for Meronia and I have been DYING to find something like this ever since. It's a talent agent x singer AU, and it's literally everything I could have asked for in a longfic. A unique idea, compelling progression and a fun antagonistic dynamic that blossoms into a really sweet romance. It's a slowburn but it doesn't drag on at all, and the ending is SO well worth the wait.

3 + 1 by @squidish | 2423 words | Rated T

x + 1 fics are a favourite trope of mine, as is the general concept of Mello and Near behaving inappropriately in the workplace, and this one combines both of those perfectly. The premise is 3 times Mello and Near got walked in on by one of the SPK members, and 1 time they were caught by the whole group. The writing is SO delightful and there are several lines in this that are permanently lodged in my brain. I find humour in writing immensely difficult to pull off so I'm always in awe of authors who can integrate it naturally, and squidish's writing is a great example of that! (Worth noting that this one is slightly more mature than the other T-rated fics here, so I've put it closer to the M & E section; however the smut scenes are not explicit)

it's friday, i'm in love by @neallo | 2676 words | Rated M

You could read literally anything by neallo and it's guaranteed to be good, but to keep this list short, I've included one angsty fic and one lighthearted fic so you can pick the vibe. This one is more lighthearted, and it depicts a very tender moment in which Mello shows up at Near's door drunk and dances with him in the kitchen. This is a prequel to a bigger AU focusing on a casual relationship between them, but it also holds up as a standalone fic! It's unbearably sweet and there are many lines in there that made me audibly laugh.

Speculation on Demisexual Sex Drive by SayHiDestery | 4069 words | Rated M

The smut scene in this fic is so intimate and perfect, I'm melting just thinking about it. It's an established relationship fic in which Near has PTSD and has certain struggles with intimacy, and Mello guides him through it. It's quite slow-paced and takes its time to linger on the small details, which I absolutely adore, and the writing itself is vivid and beautiful. It also features demisexual Near!!

Winning the Game by clearmain | 4134 words | Rated E

This one is a PWP set mid-canon, immediately after the raid on the SPK. I'm a huge sucker for bold & bratty Near and that's EXACTLY what this fic serves. The way this introduces elements of rivalry and competition into their relationship is excellent and makes this fic feel faithful to their canon dynamic. It's a compelling push-pull with an open but hopeful ending that very succinctly captures the complexities of their relationship.

A Certain Hush by BlueberryAsh | 5434 words | Rated E

One of the first fanfics I read for Meronia and I'm not exaggerating when I say it changed my life. This fic has had SUCH a massive influence on the way I view and write the ship. It's a little glimpse into Mello and Near's relationship immediately after getting together. It's really cute and sweet in a way that feels authentic to the characters, and I'm incredibly impressed by the way it manages to give just enough backstory for their relationship to make sense without getting caught up in the details. Genuinely a masterpiece!

i want to hold you (hostage) by @neallo | 4 chapters | Rated E

The aforementioned angsty neallo fic! This one is an exes AU set during the canon timeline, and it is, as you can imagine, a very fraught dynamic done SO incredibly well. The tension is absolutely delicious and there are earnest moments littered throughout that are guaranteed to have you tearing up. Brilliant setup, brilliant writing, brilliant dynamic; just an absolutely stellar fic on all counts!!

[dameronology]

be still (matt murdock)

summary: matt is the only one who he'll let get close when he has a bad day

warnings: just language ig

sorry for dropping off the face of the earth for months and not writing a single thing. this might be my comback, or all you will get for another year. we'll see! love u all.

To the rest of the world, Matt Murdock was hard to read.

To you, he was like your favourite book. One you’d read a thousand times; with a plot line you knew like the back of your hand. Every bump on his skin; every raised scar and jagged red wound from his night shifts; you knew the story behind them all. The long pink line on his back was fall out from a fight with the Yakuza two years back. The deep, sunken jag on his right hand was from an unfortunate incident when he was chopping up some vegetables two years ago. I might have super senses, he’d joked, but there are some things you just need sight for.

Matt’s emotions were no different. There were days when even Foggy wasn’t sure what he was thinking – whether his stony face was from boredom or anger, or whether his smile was happiness or just a slightly misshapen grimace. With a life as complicated as his, it wasn’t surprising that Matt came with the feeling to match. In the early days of your relationship, it was something you’d struggled with, but now you knew his signals and his tells. You could see a bad mood coming from a mile off, almost like a thunderstorm on a summer day. Equally, you knew his good moods from the way he would greet you brightly in the morning, or his anxious ones from the way he held your hand. They weren’t always easy to forecast but at least it made things a little more predictable.

A cold Tuesday morning in the fall was no different. September had just come, bringing with it shorter days and colder nights. The tension in your bedroom was high from the moment you woke up – actually, it had been since the small hours of the morning. Matt had come crashing in without a word, gear ditched to the floor. Any questions of his wellbeing or how his night had been ignored as he passed out beside you, back turned the other way. His snores had been the first thing you’d heard from him that night – not a single word, not even a grunt. You could feel an invisible line down the middle of the bed. It wasn’t one you wanted to cross.

You woke up naturally with the daylight- perks of it being a Sunday, you figured (though not a silver lining. Today didn’t feel like a day to be looking for those). Matt was still, tired body heaving with deep breaths as he slept. It was hard to shake the feeling of anxiety that had snuck its way into your stomach; butterflies now felt like wasps and any previous inclination you’d had to reach out to him had died with the hope of him waking up before you and apologising.

“Dickhead,” you muttered.

(You knew he would hear you).

Still, you knew something was up. Even if he’d projected it onto you by swatting your hands away last night and completely blanking you, something was up. It took a moment of building up the courage in your head, but as Matt let out a yawn and rolled over, you quickly moved to snuggle into his side. His hands were on his front, so you made a second attempt to tangle your fingers with his. He didn’t comply, but he didn’t resist either. You stayed like that for a moment, until his dark eyes shot open, and he let out a heavy sigh.

You could have pretended to still be asleep, purely just to avoid dealing with the situation, but who were you fooling? The man was like a human sonar. He would know immediately from your breathing that you were awake. Plus, your not-so-quiet insult just moments earlier didn’t exactly align with something you could brush off as sleep talk.

Matt sat up, blinking for a moment. Any other morning, he would have pulled you into him; pressed a kiss to your forehead and held you tight. Not today, though. He snatched his hand away from yours and shrugged you off, pattering across the wooden floor out the bedroom and to the bathroom. The door slammed and a second later, you heard the spattering of the shower.

You stayed there for a second, heart thumping in your chest and heard swirling with thoughts. Why was he being shitty? Was it your fault? No, you told yourself. It wasn’t fair on you to jump to those conclusions. If he had a problem, it was on him to tell you. You’d made it clear from day one that you hated guessing games. Guess Who was one thing but Guess Why I’m Angry At You had no winners.

The water eventually stopped. Rather than coming back through to the bedroom as he normally would, there was silence. You frowned for a moment – what the fuck was he doing? Was he actually that intent on avoiding you?

You couldn’t help but roll your eyes, swinging your legs out of bed and heading out of the bedroom. Matt was the first thing you saw in the living room, skin still covered in droplets of water from the sofa, butt fuck naked. He had a file open in front of him, callous fingers following over the braille as he read it, barely pausing to acknowledge your presence. You could have made a comment about him getting your thousand-dollar sofa wet, even a joke, but that didn’t feel like the right play.

“Hey,” you said.

No answer.

“I have to ask,” you continued, crossing the room and taking a seat beside him. Not close enough for your legs to be touching, but close enough that he knew you were there. “Have I done something?”

“No,” he murmured. “I’m just tired.”

His voice was barely above a whisper – barely even there. Something was seriously wrong.

“Okay,” you hummed.

You stayed like that for a moment – even though you could predict Matt’s mood, you couldn’t always predict what he wanted. If you touched him, would he flinch, or would the front come down? It was like hugging a nuclear bomb, even if the idea of his temper coming out on you was unfathomable.

“Do you want a coffee?” you gently asked.

Another pause.

“Yeah. I could do with a coffee.”

Trying to keep your nerves feigned, you crossed the room to the kitchen, hands working automatically. Kettle filled, turned on, two mugs out. One sugar and a tiny bit of milk for Matt, and then two sugars and no milk for you. He liked the blue mug, because it was easier to hold, and you preferred the purple one because it was the same shade of violet as the dress Taylor wore on the front of Speak Now. You’d brought it in a clearance sale when you and Matt just started seeing each other, and it was one of the first things you actually kept at his apartment.

You returned to the sofa, placing the coffee on the table in front of you. There was still no word from Matthew – not even a hm in place of a thank you.

“You’re worrying me,” you murmured.

Blanked.

Rolling your eyes – and finally getting sick of his head – you whacked the file out his hands and collapsed into his side. He didn’t immediately respond, but a moment later, his hand came down to touch your thigh. He gave your leg a squeeze, and you felt a minute bit of tension rise from the room. Not all of it, but the physical touch was enough to know that things would be okay.

You stayed like that for a moment, before wrapping your arms around him completely. You fell back into the sofa, letting Matt collapse into your chest. His hair was still wet from the shower, skin sticking to yours from where he was still drying, but you didn’t give a shit. You just wanted to hold him, hands roaming over his tense back, stopping on his shoulder blades and using your grip to pull him closer.

“Let’s go back to bed,” you said. “Just for a little while.”

He didn’t resist as you took his hand, tangling your fingers together and leading him back to the bedroom. Matt was hot on your heels, like a lost puppy now, and there was barely a second between you falling back first onto the bed and him following you. His entire body was on yours, legs tangling into a web and arms digging underneath your torso to hug you, head buried in your shoulder. He was limp – almost completely void of emotion.

Whatever barrier Matt had been putting up was gone, because as soon as you tangled a hand in his hair you could feel his hot tears on your skin. He’d only cried in front of you once before and that had been when you’d nearly died after a minor mishap (though he’d argue it was probably more). That meant that whatever had happened on patrol last night must have fucked him up a little – you didn’t want to ask, but you didn’t want to him to think he couldn’t talk about it.

“I’m here if you need,” you murmured, pressing a kiss to his forehead. “If you just wanna lay here or you just wanna talk, I’m right here.”

“Thank you,” his voice was still quiet. “I’m sorry about last night.”

“Don’t apologise,” you shook your head. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” he replied.

You tightened your grip on him and he tried to shuffle closer, even though it wasn’t physically possible. You were completely skin to skin and chest to chest, his forehead flush with your collarbone. It was raining outside now, the sound of water hitting the window filling the room with where tension used to be. That was gone now – maybe it hadn’t been there at all, just a figment of your anxiety.

You felt Matt’s eyelashes brush against your skin as he closed your eyes. Sleep was good. It was probably what you both needed, and with his warm, heavy body on yours, it was also hard to resist.

(All you could do was hope that you didn’t need to pee any time soon).

[romancingdaffodils]

Love Kills.

part 1

bassist!rockstar!remus lupin x roadie!reader

In which one of your closest friends happens to be Sirius Black, who is also the drummer in the infamous punk band: The Marauders. You’ve met Remus Lupin twice before the tour begins and you found yourself quite enthralled with him. The more time you spend, the greater the need is.

warnings : mention of drinking, and that’s about it. gender neutral reader with a small understanding of drums and stuff :333

title stolen from Love Kills - Joe Strummer

hiii i know you missed me

i’d like to give a special thanks to @alegsy for all his help on this one. and if you like Alex turner go check out @joepublicspeakings :33. Seriously Al thank you much for helping me out with all the roadie tech stuff and ideas and punk music too it really means a lot and i love you sooooo much. thank u smsm

ps pls ignore that matt plays electric and not bass it’s not my fault i love him so much

Sirius Black was by far the most interesting man you've ever met. He was also the reason you were stood with your hands clasped tightly around the handles of two stuffed bags.

"C'mooon, you know me, it'll be fun! You like the music, know the tech, got the skills nailed. You're the perfect roadie, join us." Sirius begged, following you around the bar. You frowned at him. Unfortunately for the raven haired man, you liked your job, which meant it took a lot more convincing to get you onside.

"Sleeping in a glorified caravan for god knows how many days doesn't exactly seem like my idea of fun! Plus, Sirius, I only really know James. Met the other lanky one, what, twice? Don't know the last guys name! It's not fair." you argued, crossing your arms and glaring at him. You had included a small white lie in the fact Remus Lupin was not known as the lanky one in your mind - you were familiar with the version of him that haunted your daydreams. He pouted at you. Yes, the fully grown man pouted at you.

"It pays well-ish! It'll get you in with the industry and it's months with your favourite person, ever. Me! On top of that, it's not a glorified caravan, we invested this year so shut your trap." he whined, giving his best puppy dog eyes.

"Right, fine, maybe. I'll, consider it. And, never ever say 'shut your trap' again. You're a daft twat, you know that?" you caved. He grinned.

"So that's a yes! And I'll do you the favour of assuming you're just trying to keep me humble." he grinned once again. Mentally, you smashed your head through a glass pane. What had you gotten yourself into?

“Nice shirt.” a voice spoke from beside you, giving you a small smile. You smiled back. The lanky one - Remus Lupin, you reminded yourself. Not that you needed much reminding; the honey eyed man stuck firmly in your brain.

“Thanks, didn’t know you liked Bowie. Thought all the punk stuff would be more for you.” you joked, peering up at him. He scoffed, as though your statement was the most insane thing he’d heard.

“Can still like the ‘punk stuff’ and Bowie. Plus, he’s a genius. Done every style and more, like.” he replied, some sort of northern accent coming in thick and fast. He was different to Sirius in many ways and you took comfort in it. Even though, at times, Remus was a tad bit mean. But, not really to you. The three times (including now) you’d met him he’d been quite lovely. Sirius had chewed your ear off about that.

“It took me years to get a grin out of him! And you do it straight away? It’s so not fair!” he whined, leaning against the counter of the pub’s bar.

“You’ll recover, posho, promise.” you said, giggling to yourself at his heartbreak.

“Yeah, suppose you’re right. Nice to see you again, by the way. It’s been a while. ‘m excited for the tour and stuff.” you said, deciding that changing the subject might suit you better.

“Me too, can’t believe Sirius actually got you on as a roadie. Did he physically fight you for it? Last time we asked you were dead set against it.” he gestured for you to walk beside him as he spoke. He was holding his bags in one hand and his bass case in the other. He made short work of putting everything bar his bag of necessities into the storage bin. Then, quickly took your own off of you, shoving them into the storage of the bus. He didn’t seem to mind doing the heavy lifting for you.

“He harassed me, a lot. At work. A lot. It’s fine though, I think I’ll enjoy it if I’m honest. If all else fails at least I’ll get contacts and friends out of it, yeah?” Remus snickered. He smiled down at you as he closed up the storage compartment.

“I’ve been telling myself that for the past, what? Decade? Trust me, he entices you in, you’re trapped now. Failed plenty of times and don’t think I’ve gained much - apart from wanting to bash all three of their heads in. On multiple occasions.” you giggle; he smiles.

“Ah well, just promise me you won’t let me kill anyone then. I’ll do the same for you.” you said, holding out your pinky for him to close the promise. It was childlike and somewhat immature, sure, but it locked the deal closed. Wrapping his pinky around yours, Remus silently agreed to your proposition.

“It’s nice to meet you— Jesus Christ! You’re lanky. Sorry. That was mean. Remus, right?! I’m the one Sirius told you about.” you shouted over the blaring music. Submission by the Sex Pistols was causing the entire room to shake and was rocking you to your core.

“Yeah. I know you. Been trying to keep up with Pads, by chance?” Remus chuckled down at you, assuming you weren’t always this dishevelled.

“Always. Thought I could out drink him, you know, for a posh boy, the lad can drink.” he smiled.

“Perks of going to a boarding school. Mix with all sorts of people, it was good for him.” you smiled.

The night seemed to fly by and you couldn’t keep yourself away from Remus. Flocking to him like a moth to a flame, your cheeks were beginning to hurt from smiling so much. Thankfully, the incomprehensible amount of vodka you had consumed helped dull the pain.

“Can’t believe we haven’t met before.” you purred, peering up at him.

“Neither. Pads is cruel, keeps all his best friends to himself. Didn’t know there was anyone else on the planet who actively enjoyed The Clash and Dostoyevsky.” he responded, bringing a green tinted glass bottle to his lips.

“Let me try it.” you demanded, holding out your hand.

“You don’t like beer.” he said, giving you a small grin.

“Wanna try, it might be different.”

“Oh, yeah? All the beers you’ve had in your life and this one just might be different.” despite his teasing, he offered you the bottle. It did in fact not taste any different. It still tasted like piss.

“Nah, still rank.”

“Shame, that, really.”

You grinned. He smirked.

The tour bus was now filled. The four key members of the band: James, Sirius, Remus and Pete, who you’d finally remembered the name of and the rest of the members of your new team. Oh! And the support band, who you kept forgetting about, The Valkyries. Lovely girls, all of them. It tickled you somewhat that James and Lily were in rival bands. And, that some how they’d persuaded the rivals to support them. The roadies with you had mostly known the Marauders since school, which inevitably led to you feeling like an outcast. It really struck home as they were all discussing stories from their youth. The road was a relentless treadmill of travel and you were provided no solace. Until a small voice called your name.

“You busy?” Remus asked, poking his head into your bunk.

“Trying to be.” you joked, smiling over at him. He looked ridiculously oversized compared to the glorified caravan.

“Don’t think you aren’t welcome. They’re lovely. Sit up a bit, will you? My knees are killing I need to sit down.” you sat up, as he instructed. He sat on the bunk opposite yours, you faced him directly. It was a little scary- his ability to practically read your mind.

“I’m sure they are, just having second thoughts, as always. Dunno, you lot all went to school together. So, just a bit of an outcast, yanno?” you whispered, emphasising this was for Remus’s ears only. He nodded his head, and then began to shake it.

“Y’not an outcast. Promise. They’ll all love you once they get to know you. Like Pads does, poor fucker can’t leave you alone.” you laughed; he smiled. It wasn’t a sympathetic smile; it was genuine.

“I love Sirius too. Best friend you could ask for, really. It’s just such a shame he’s such a slag.” you joked. Remus laughed.

“Really is. How’ve you been since the incident?”

Remus’s hand was acting as a makeshift bobble as you threw up into the bar toilet. His other hand was rubbing small circles into your back.

“I hate him! I hate how much he can drink and- I hate this stupid bar.” you whined, in between sobs. Throwing up always made you cry.

“Shhh, yeah, I know. Come on, let it all out. Y’don’t need to cry, sweetheart, you’re fine. Just have to let it all out.” he cooed, still rubbing your back. God knows how you’d ended up exclusively talking to Remus the whole night and somehow still trying to out drink Sirius. You’d been fucked when the taller of the two showed up and now you were completely gone.

“This is so embarrassing. Sorry, I feel awful.” you threw up again after that.

“Got nothing to feel sorry about. Listen, been there done that with Sirius. Learnt my lesson the hard way too, plus I’m taller than you. Takes a lot more to get me drunk, yeah? He’s just insane. Don’t worry about it.” he comforted, not at all bothered by your sickness. Giving him a dopey smile, you were eternally grateful - even in your drunken state - that it was Remus you had befriended that night.

“Thank you, tell you what, I’ll do you a deal.” Remus nodded “Pinky promise if you ever get plastered I’ll do the same for you”. Holding out his pinky, Remus tilted his head at you. You locked pinkies with him for the first time (and most definitely not the last time).

“Good deal. Do you think we should get you home? Are you close? I’ll walk you if you are.” he offered, wrapping an arm around you to pull you up.

“Yeh, like ten minutes. Thank you, Remus, really. Bet you’re glad it’s me and not you, huh?” you joked, trying to add light to the situation. Leaning into him, you were relying solely on him to stay upright.

“Nah, know you’d do the same for me. Pinky promised it, didn’t you? And, it’s no problem. Think we’re going to be good friends.”

“Don’t bring that up around me. I’m still so embarrassed.” you complained, burying your head into your hands. Chuckling, Remus shook his head.

“Could’ve been worse, you could’ve declared your undying, unrelenting and pure love for Lily, whilst stood on top of the bar and using an empty vodka bottle as a microphone for the announcement. Poor Lils never recovered.” You lifted your head to give him the loudest laugh ever.

“They’re sooo cute. It’s upsetting.” you said, lying back down in your bunk. Remus watched your every move, subconsciously. “Oh, you said your knees were hurting. You get pains? Arthritis? My mum gets that in her knees, she just keeps moving, but I think it’s making it worse.” you rambled, turning your head to face him.

“Oh, yeah, just chronic pains, really. Just try and rest as often as possible.” he explained, stretching out his legs across the two bunks. His legs fell atop your own, now creating a bridge between the gap in the bunks. You smiled over at him.

“Must suck, huh? Well, let me know if I can help. Tour isn’t really resting.” you offered, giving him a big smile.

“Yeah, thank you, speaking of tour we aren’t far off Glasgow now.” he stated, peering out the window and then down at his watch.

“I’m ecstatic.” you stated sarcastically as your stomach twisted with nerves. Telling you not to worry, the sandy haired man gave you a smile that only made your stomach twist further.

The venue was a shit hole. A complete and utter shit hole. The ceiling had a badly patched up leak, which had almost destroyed Pete’s copy of the setlist. The reason Sirius had been so desperate to get you on his staff was because you specialised in drums - his instrument, of course. You’d managed to get everything set up relatively quickly. Carefully, you began to tighten the cymbals, listening for the correct pitch and length of the ring. Humming as you worked, you stopped every so often to admire the work of the rest of the team. Frank, who specialised in strings, was particularly impressive. He had finished up rather quickly and moved on to help his girlfriend, Alice, with getting everything ready for vocals. It seemed everyone here, but you had the perfect relationship. James and Lily were a lifetimes worth supply food for the green eyed monster. Frank and Alice were just as cute, but less well known as they weren’t in the limelight.

“All good?” he shouted over at you. You gave him a thumbs up and smiled over at Alice, who was fighting with some duct tape and a wire. Everything was all good for you, at the moment.

Finally, you finished up the final checks and placed a backup pair of sticks beside Sirius’s chair. It was then onto sound checks, all went well. You actually really quite liked the Marauders music. With inspiration from bands like The Clash and The Jam it’s hard to make a bad sound. He was weird in that he’d always carry around his sticks before the show, believing it would bring him good luck. In fact, in the first show you found out all the boys weird pre-show rituals. Pete laid down on the couch and threw chocolate raisins into his mouth. James clung onto Lily ever so slightly more than usual and insisted on drinking a shot of olive oil. As the lead singer he swore upon it for lubricating the vocal cords. You nearly gagged when you watched him do it. Whereas, Remus sat outside, cigarette in one hand and a cadburys chocolate bar in the other.

Trying to escape the rest of the boys, you ended up going outside and bumping into Remus during this. Quenching your thirst for normality, you couldn’t help your next actions. “Oh, sorry, hope I’m not interrupting.” you stated, giving him a small smile as you gravitated towards him.

“Nah, take it you saw James’s shot?” he said, before taking a long drag from the cigarette. Wincing, you looked at him with pure disgust in your eyes. “No I get it, can’t be around him when he does it either. Makes my jitters worse.”

“Christ, you don’t look nervous at all. Good poker face. Your sound check was really incredible though. James performs like Joe Strummer, it’s funny. You’re good, really fit the part of Paul, huh?” there was an unspoken message behind fitting the part of Paul. The bassist of the Clash and the so called good looking one of the group (as stated by their drummer, Topper). You thought the same about Remus.

“You calling us Clash tributes? Also, he humps less than Joe.” You laughed. Full force laughter left your lungs as you keeled over in genuine disbelief. Snickering, Remus looked down at you, a little scared you’d collapse on the floor and knock yourself out. You went to speak, but the words were drowned out in laughter. “That tickled you, dinnit?” he mumbled, dropping his cigarette and crushing it below his foot. The shout of ‘Five minutes till you’re on!’ snapped you out of your laughter. Grinning up at Remus, you tilted your head.

“Break a leg!”

“It’s not the theatre.”

“Oh, good luck.”

“Thank you.” he replied, smirking down at you. He pushed the final piece of his chocolate bar into your hand before walking inside for the ‘team talk’. Time seemed to move at the speed of light whenever the lanky man was around. You found yourself completely lost in everything about him. Seriously, you couldn’t believe how long Sirius had deprived you of this perfect man.

Frank had told you whilst you were setting up that the band always had a talk before going on stage. The talk often consisted of: “James don’t cry and don’t fuck up” from Sirius and Remus; “Dodge bottles, whatever you do don’t get hit please you’ll look stupid.” as the general message to the whole band and “Jump around”, which was mostly directed to Peter and Remus. Frank had also warned you about the dangers that came from within the crowd. Police. Famously, punk music was viewed as being quite aggressive; it ended up being the roadies job to make sure fighting and dancing could be differentiated. Sirius hadn’t told you about that part whilst advertising the job. However, now wasn’t the time to take offence.

Erupting like a volcano, the crowd filled the rotting venue with noise. You watched the boys sprint on stage. All leather and tight fitting trousers.

James really did look like Joe Strummer when he performed and Remus was right about his comparison too. Sirius looked truly ecstatic whenever he performed and the energy brought about by the show pulled Peter from his shell. And Remus, oh, Remus. He was entirely perfect.

Catching yourself, you blinked and shook your head. You’d met this man three times, including the current interactions and here you were, fawning over him. Sure, it’d get you in a little bit of trouble, but what harm is a crush. Right? Not much harm compared to glass bottles and punk rockers. Oh, and a leak in the ceiling with wires messily taped to the floor.

Bang.

[ama-jewel]

Unfortunately I have a curse where I can't post anything when it's trending :')

I made this when Matt was leaving the theory channels and I never got around posting it, now Matt's leaving gtlive for good too 😭😢 and I finally thought of posting it

It's so old that the colour is fading and there's water damage :')

This is still one of my favourite pages in my drawing book <3

[shorthaltsjester]

It is such a bizarre choice to not have Vex see Percy forgive Ripley. The scene of her talking to him about forgiveness and how it is the only way to grow and how she carved it on Fenthras was such a good scene. Idk if they will still include it in another form now. Not to mention Percy says he forgave Ripley for himself, not for her.

no i doubt they will. and being honest i think this stems from choices they made in s1 with vex’s character that have just echoed down consequences because tlovm vex doesn’t really have anything she has to forgive herself for. she certainly has an ill-built sense of self, but it isn’t based in an actual flaw re: she is not responsible for her mother’s death but she was in fact a thief and frequently selfish during the campaign. but in s1, vex wasn’t really morally questionable in that way, she was just standoffish and cold and dependent on vax. for understandable reasons, she didn’t steal the broom, but she also has no history that’s disclosed to the audience of killing (even in self defense) or stealing and even her gold hoarding is like. one shot in the second episode when they’re fleeing from a dragon hoard. so then it’s hard to have vex be a character where forgiving herself is the sticking point rather than correcting her sense of self. in the campaign it was both because you couldn’t extract her greed (hunger) and self-interest from the fact that she was deeply scarred by her fathers insistence that she could never be enough.

but in the show at every chance they’ve limited vex to having low self-esteem which is fine, but does i think lessen the interest of a character like her if the basis of that low self-esteem is only her trauma and self-defence versus the more. call it self-offence that she did in the campaign. and i think that echoes into the relationship with percy. overall i’ve liked more than i’ve disliked with this version of perc’ahlia, but i do think there was a ramp up in s2 of feeling that hadn’t necessarily been shown developing (time limits time limits 😔) that much, and part of that is the lack of percy and vex reacting to each other being shitty people with hearts in their eyes. because they could both see the pain that was hiding under their shitty actions but were also just. find of the person doing the shitty actions. and ultimately i’ve kind of cut my loses with the level of like. snarky to each other while also being obviously in love and gross about it without ever admitting it to each other because they both have “How Could Someone Like That Ever Love Someone Like Me” complexes but i think im a bit more :( about the aspects of the characters that were truly just like. not good and not clean and not easily dealt with if dealt with at all that didn’t survive it into tlovm. like percy is truly not a good person (he’s not a Bad one either). like he does many many good actions, but he also is very willing to do horrible, horrible things in the name of what he vows to protect. and vex never really sheds the mask she learned to wear. there are people she allows to see through it but it stays for the entirety of c1 and some of matt’s choices suggest it’s something he echoes in portraying her in c3

anyway tldr. i agree about deeply missing the forgiveness percy and vex scene, even beyond the perc’ahlia of it all, it is one of my favourite cr scenes across all the campaigns, but unfortunately is one i’ve suspected to have been cut since tlovm’s version of saundor. i have the most naive of hopes that maybe i’ll be surprised but honestly i think i’d just be more questioning what the point of including that scene without earning it would be.

[mysterycitrus]

would you please elaborate on your comment "renowned hack frank miller" ? i haven't read much from him yet but i like to listen to informed people tell me why [thing] sucks because it's funnier than dc wiki

when someone tells me their favourite comic writer is frank miller my response is the same as when someone tells me their favourite films are american psycho and fight club — i immediately prepare for an irish exit from the convo.

both (some of) miller’s work and those films are influential pieces of art with explicit political ideology, but while american psycho and fight club are (frequently) misinterpreted satire, miller is genuine to the point of hilarity.

if u consume batman as a character in any capacity u cannot escape miller’s influence — batman: year one is the pretty definitive starting point for most fans (and filmmakers, like matt reeves with the batman 2022), and miller’s visual style is a cornerstone for modern comics. the dark knight returns effectively changed how comics were viewed by readers, and is credited with kickstarting the modern age of comic books. i cannot emphasise that even if u haven’t read a miller book u have certainly encountered someone else inspired by his work.

with that said — miller writes like how a racist libertarian who believes his own hype would write about superheroes. greta, u must be wondering, that seems like an awfully specific descriptor to assign to someone. and normally u would be right!

the because im batman schtick that every sixteen year old nolan stan with a twitter account ran into the ground circa 2014 started because of miller, and his success in the 80s led to a number of ill advised projects fueled by his own hype. all star batman and robin was an uncritical interpretation of bruce that embodies all the worst misinterpretations of dc characters, including the justice league, that miller then tried to espouse was satire. unfortunately, he is not smart enough to punch up instead of down — the absurd hypersexualisation of women doesn’t become satire just because you’re laughing at readers in the script, frank.

this, in turn, led to one of the most virulently racist comics ever published — 2011’s islamophic nightmare fuel holy terror. he should not be taken seriously as a creative force, and he should not be the foundation of what comics should be. at least alan moore is marginally less obnoxious and fully admits that the killing joke was a bad idea.

[jm-2406]

Hi,

I was wondering if I could make a request for a matt murdock x reader idea. You could make it into a headcannon or a dribble I dont mind ✨.

Basically I’ve always found interesting the idea of matt either loosing his powers or his hearing senses (like in season 3)

So id think about something like that happening to him and the reader helping him found himself in his new routine without his vigilante identity.

(insecure and « in need of love » matt is my weakness jsjs)

Lots of angst but a happy ending if possible

(Also its preferable if reader is just a civilian too)

Thanks 🦋

Love me tender.

Summary - an unfortunate accident almost cost your boyfriend's life but you are there to help him recover, even if he gets emotional and says stupid things.

Pairing - Matt Murdock x teacher!reader.

Word count - 855.

Note - I'm sorry for being so late in delivering this, I got my exam results and it was not good. I was upset, so I couldn't get anything done.

Warnings - rushed ending, mentions of accident/injury, Matt and reader having a heart to heart.

Requests - open || find my work - here.

It came as a shock to you when a phone call disturbed your sleep at 3 a.m. informing you about your boyfriend's accident. You were the only person on his emergency contact and the hospital staff were quick to inform you. When you reached the hospital gates, a fear gripped your heart. You were not sure what happened with Matt exactly but you could make out that it was something very serious from the nurse’s words.

“[Y/N] [Y/L/N], I am here to visit Matt Murdock.” You informed the receptionist. She typed something on her computer and directed you towards the ward. That night, you had the biggest shock of your life as you waited for the doctors and nurses treating Matt.

“It was quite a fatal accident, Miss [Y/L/N]. We're lucky that he survived but he might take some time to recover and from what we have gathered, he might have some problems with his external auditory canal.”

“But… he'll be okay, right? He will recover, right?” You asked him. The doctor nodded his head and left because of another case. It was all up to you now, to let him know. You knew how upset he felt if treated with sympathy, you felt like that too. You just wanted him to recover completely before taking any risks with his life.

A few days later, when you were sitting quietly in the living room and grading the test papers, you heard a cracking sound. Rushing to the kitchen, you saw your boyfriend standing and in front of him, a broken glass. “Are you okay? And what are you doing here?” You carefully reached him and brought him back to your room.

Before you could scold him for being so careless and not resting enough, you saw him sitting quietly, too quietly like a statue. He was holding his mask in his hand. It was high time now, you needed to talk. You placed your hand on his shoulder and got his attention. Matt was still quiet.

“You can't carry on like this, Matt.” You said after a moment of silence.

“I don't know what to do. I'm lost, okay. This feeling… the feeling of being helpless and staying at home all day… it kills me. I feel like I failed.”

“No matt. Please don't say things like that.” Your voice was thick with emotions. “We can go through anything if we are together. Please don't shut me out.”

Matt gave you a sad little smile and you knew that you had a long road ahead of you.

A few days passed with you and Matt adjusting to the new life without his vigilante identity. It was a struggle in the beginning but slowly, he recovered… at least physically.

One evening, you were sitting on the couch, watching one of your favourite films when you noticed Matt standing in the corner, lost in his thoughts. “What happened, babe? You alright?” You rushed to him and to your surprise he jerked your hands off him. That had never happened before.

“I think we should take a break.”

“What?” To say you were shocked would be an understatement. You didn't know what came over him suddenly.

“Yes, [Y/N]… we should.” He sounded serious.

“But, at this point? I don't understand Matt. What happened?”

“Because I can't give you a normal life, [Y/N]. Why is it so difficult for you to understand that? You were sitting there, all peacefully, watching a move. We couldn't do that together, or anything normal couples do. How many times we had to cancel our plans because of me being daredevil and trying to save the city. You don't need to go through all of this. You deserve better, [Y/N].” He breathed hard after his confession, sightless eyes following where your figure should be.

“Leave it to me to decide what and who I deserve. I love you, Matt. I know that I never said it before, I didn't want to push you away. I don't want ‘normal’, I just want you.” By the end of it, you had wrapped your arms around his neck and forced him to sit down. It was one of the few raw moments you shared.

“I'm sorry.” He said after a few minutes of silence. “Promise me, you won't do anything stupid like this again.” You asked, gently massaging his scalp. Matt just nodded his head. You knew that you had a long road ahead of you but you were satisfied with the journey. In the end it's just you two, together.

THE END.

[a-magical-evening]

Do you know if there's any photos or videos or anything with Matt and Trey hugging each other?

I wish I could say I know of recorded hugs, but unfortunately Matt and Trey don't appear to be very huggy with each other, at least in public. It's more likely they'll hold hands (usually for photoshoots or during curtain calls), or put an arm around each other.

They do like putting their heads on each other's shoulders 😍

(I'm very 'look how they massacred my boy' about the awful photoshopping job they did on Trey in that last one, but I can appreciate the pose at least.)

There were a selection of old slides posted to eBay a few years ago that had some extremely tiny and pixelated pics of drunk hugs from the same night these were taken.

Here's a post by @cock-tail-party with the best of the bunch. Somewhere out there, a very rich person is sitting on some of the greatest M&T pics ever.

There is of course the Coop and Remer hug from BASEktball's Canned Ham, but it's in character, so it doesn't count imo.

Another that doesn't count is the air hug from the concert. But it's always nice to see it 😉

The lack of hugging became a meme in 2022 Matt & Trey fandom. This post by @behind-the-blow pretty much sums it up, lol. Most of the silliness was inspired by this post where it was pointed out that Trey looked like he wanted to hug Matt several times while celebrating their Empire Award win, but he doesn't get one. (Matt, please just hug the guy at this point! He's sung a whole song about wanting hugs, come on.)

We got desperate in our hunt for hugs and maybe counted this one from For Goodness Sake II, where Trey dives across a table and into Matt's lap, just before the table collapses.

If you're interested, there's lots of fanart out there that fills the hug-shaped void. Fair warning that a lot of it is shippy, so ignore the bullet points if RPF isn't your jam.

There's an absolutely gorgeous piece of art by UnfortunateJerry on AO3 of Matt and Trey hugging in the art chapter of this fic collection (note: NSFW art in the same chapter.) It's life changing.

There's an amazing selection of M/T art out there made by @konstance - this hugging one is a favourite of mine.

This adorable piece by @cock-tail-party

I also did this hug art collab with @cock-tail-party in 2022, inspired by the Where's Trey's Hug? meme 😊

This answer became much longer than I anticipated, but I hope it gave you something to chew on at least. If I've missed anything obvious, please someone let me know in the replies.

[mabelstone]

Graduation

matt stone x reader

summary: final part of Professor Stone :')

word count: 3718

CW: incredibly gushy and soft, its almost sickening... 18+ as well looool car sex, dacryphilia, sex toys, praise kink, oral sex, unprotected sex, breeding kink if you squint reeeaaally hard hehe

note: i'm sad to kiss my baby goodbye but it's unfortunately time. thank you for all your love and support throughout the chapters, this has been my favourite fic i've ever written <3 i hope you loved it as much as i loved writing it

i did not proof read, don't think less of me for any errors :(

find my masterlist here <3

You waited patiently behind the stage, shaky palms sweating profusely in fists at your side. Today was your graduation. After four painfully long years, here you were, graduating your Bachelor of Psychology with full credits, thanks to the most worthwhile class of your degree, calculus. You strangely felt a sense of dread when you realised you'd never have to step foot on your campus again. Worst of all, you'd never get to feel the thrill of taunting Professor Stone in front of the class again. You'd never get to stay back for 'tutoring' again, which really was code for having the most intense, toe-curling sex on top of quickly forgotten, freshly graded papers. You were gonna miss him, and though you'd never admit it, you'd spent the last few weeks praying that your secret love story wouldn't end here.

You were snapped out of your spiralling thoughts when you felt a gentle hand squeeze your arm. "They called your name," a softly spoken Trey retracted his hand with a coy smile, apologetic even. You nodded, quickly dragging yourself onto the stage with your stomach in knots. You accepted your degree blindly, feeling as though you weren't even in your body anymore. Though the lights were blinding you, you couldn't help but search for him in the crowd as you stood beside your peers.

There he was. Gentle, emerald green eyes locked on none other than you. You couldn't stifle the grin that stretched across your face, your heart leaping against your ribs. While you watched your peers accept their respective degrees, Matt watched you. You took one final glance in his direction as you all exited the stage, a genuine smile on his face as he applauded you away beside his colleagues.

You hugged your friends, still in shock that you were actually finally finished. What were you going to do with yourself now? Well, you knew what you were going to do right now, and that was to get belligerently drunk with your friends.

You excused yourself to the bathroom before you were all heading off, still in extreme shock. You couldn't stop smiling. When you finished, you opened the door and almost bumped into someone.

"Oh, shit, sorry-" As if on cue, you looked up and saw none other than Matt. So overwhelmed with happiness, you grabbed his face without thinking and gave him the biggest kiss imaginable, smiling the entire time.

He pulled away quickly, whipping his head around to see if anybody saw what you just did. Luckily, nobody else was in the room.

"Sorry, I'm sorry, I'm just so happy," you squealed in excitement, running your hands down your dress. He pulled you in for a big hug, placing a kiss to the top of your head to suffice his urge to take you right there, right then in front of the bathroom. This would do for now.

"I'm so proud of you, kid." He was smiling just as wide as you, squeezing you even tighter.

"Okay, you're gonna suffocate me," you laughed, pulling away to rest your hands on his biceps.

"Where're you headed now, pretty?" He swiped a stray hair behind your ear, completely and utterly in awe by you.

"My friend is throwing a party," you swallowed thickly, nervous to ask, but you did regardless, "um, would you please pick me up? You don't have to, of course-"

"Send me the address," he smiled warmly, his tone suggesting it was a given. "He better not be there," he grumbled, earning himself an eyeroll and a playful shove.

"Don't ruin this nice moment, if you can."

"Sorry," he grinned, stepping away from you as a bunch of screaming girls walked down the hall. Like they'd even notice. He bent down to your ear to whisper, "I've got a surprise for you at home, by the way."

✴︎✴︎✴︎

It was approaching 2am and it didn't seem like the party was ending anytime soon. You were arguably the most inebriated you'd ever been, and currently sat with a group of girls talking about which professors they'd like to fuck.

"No, you know who I really wanna fuck?" A rhetorical question from the mouth of your longtime friend, Casey. Power to her, she'd slept with 7/10 guys on campus and was drop dead gorgeous. "Professor Stone."

Your heart sank at the confession, a wave of sickness washing over you.

"Oh, yeah, I forgot about him! He's the math professor, right?" Another chimed in.

"Mhm," Casey faked moaned, running her hands down her body. "God, the things I'd do for five minutes with him."

"No way!" Another girl, Belle spoke up, scrunching her nose in disgust, "he's hot, sure, but he's such an asshole! He's probably shit in bed, I bet that's why his wife left him."

"Oh, so he's single?" She chirped, "now that we aren't students, I'm going to do everything I can to get in his pants and prove you wrong."

Were you jealous? Were you upset? You couldn't tell, but what you did know was that everything you just drank was about to come up.

"Hey, are you okay Y/N?" Casey asked, rubbing your arm soothingly.

You shook your head, quickly finding your feet, "gonna be sick."

As you stumbled to the toilet you heard Belle snicker, "see, Case? She agrees with me.

You barely made it to the toilet and thank god it was free. You... y'know, and then straight away dialled Matt's number.

"Hey, sweet girl," he answered almost immediately.

"H-hi, can you please come get me?" You panted, still trying to calm yourself down. You were fighting every cell in your body not to cry.

"Yeah sure, you okay?" Concern laced his tone, the jingle of his keys in the background straight away.

"I'm fine, just wanna go home." You stood up walked to the sink, mascara pooling under your eyes.

"Okay, be there in ten. See you soon."

"Mhm, bye." You hung up, fixing your face before chugging who ever's listerine was on the vanity. Once composed, you headed back out to rejoin your friends.

"Hey, there she is!" Casey cheered, giving you a hug, rubbing your back. "You okay, babe?"

"I'm good," you fake smiled, running a hand through your hair. "Listen, my Uber's nearly here, but I had a really great time."

"No, leaving so soon?" One of the other girls pouted, standing to hug you as well.

"Yeah, I think I overdid it a bit," you chuckled, shifting on your feet awkwardly.

"Well, let us walk you out-"

"No! No, it's okay, really," you reassured them, giving the rest of the girls a hug before grabbing your things. "You guys have fun! We'll catch up soon."

You headed for the door before anybody else could protest, walking down to the end of the street so you'd be out of sight. Matt's car pulled up, rolling his window down to whistle, "how much?"

Normally, you would've laughed or told him to shut up, but you were in no such state right now. Instead you climbed in and hugged him immediately, unable to stop the tears from flowing. "Hey, shh, it's okay, you're okay," he cooed, running his fingers through your hair. You pulled away after a while, hiccupping with your makeup completely ruined. Matt pouted, wiping your mascara away the best he could.

"I think I'm a bit drunk," you laughed, the tears easing up a bit.

"Really?" He gasped sarcastically, laughing with you. "No shit, you smell like Robert Downey Jr. What, you didn't have a good time?"

"No, I did, but then the girls were saying they want to fuck you." You sighed deeply, tears daring to fall again. You left out the part about him being bad in bed, it simply wasn't true. It did upset you though... anyway.

"They wanna fuck me?" He furrowed his brows, unsure if you were really so worked up over that.

"Yes!" You threw your hands up and there came the tears again. "Nobody else can say that! Nobody is allowed to love you but me," you cried into your hands, feeling one of his own rub your back.

"Shhh, it's alright, baby," he hushed you in an attempt to calm you down.

"Only I can love you, Matt." You continued, face red, skin hot and sticky. "Only me."

"I know, honey, only you. It's okay," he kissed you, intermittently stopping the flow of tears.

"Fuck me, then." You demanded, glassy eyes meeting his.

"What?"

"I need you-" you reached up your dress, pulling your underwear off in one swift motion, "to fuck me, now."

"Right here?" He quirked, eyes trained on your hand that was now jacking him off under his sweatpants.

"Yes. Please," you begged desperately, smashing your lips into his.

He kissed you back before hardening fast under your grip, pushing you off him and commanding, "get in the back. Now."

No further convincing needed, you climbed over into the back seat, heart pounding rapidly in your chest. There was something so exciting about being caught with everyone you know so close by.

He opened the backseat door, hiking up your dress before grabbing your legs and pushing them to your chest, placing both of your hands there to hold them in place. With his torso on the seat and his legs crouching out the door, he shoved his face into your folds and ate your pussy like he was starving. The cold sensation of the breeze nipped at your skin, a delicious contrast to his warm tongue that danced along your clit. You let out the loudest, pornographic moan, his hand quickly coming to muffle your cries.

"Shut up," he warned, mouth still attached to you. You tried hard, but inevitably failed, clenching around nothing as your legs trembled. Another loud moan escaped your lips, causing him to pull away. He climbed in as well, slamming the door, roughly grabbing your legs to put them at either side of him. "What'd I say, hm?"

He pulled his pants to his knees, collecting your slick to lube himself up before sliding his whole length in slowly. You whimpered at the feeling, yet you wanted more. You grabbed his hips in an attempt to pull him closer; he got the memo. He began thrusting into you at an ungodly rate, your eyes rolling back, your head continually slamming into the window that was now fogging up. The entire car was shaking, the collective noises from the both of you filling the vehicle, along with the long list of obscenities you often exchanged.

"I love you," you blurted, eyes flinging wide open, hand slapping over your mouth to prevent any more words escaping without your consent.

"Hm?" Matt hummed, slowing his thrusts down almost to a still.

"Nothing-"

"Did you say I love you?" He panted, sure his ears were deceiving him.

"I'm sorry, it just came out, I-"

"I love you too," he smiled, craning down to kiss you. Your heart nearly exploded at the admission, sliding him out of you to wrap your arms around him.

"I love you, I love you, I love you," you drunkenly giggled between kisses, running your fingers through his hair. "Can we go home?"

✴︎✴︎✴︎

The drive home was nice, you sat in comfortable silence listening to Matt's music, stealing glances from one another every so often with the biggest smiles plastered on your faces. This may have been the happiest you'd ever been.

When you got inside, you were greeted by the biggest bouquet of flowers you'd ever seen. A beautiful arrangement with purple flowers and baby's breath. And then more tears.

"Matt," you teared up, falling into his arms.

He laughed, shaking his head at you, smoothing his hands up and down your sides. "Because I'm proud of you, you did it. And you may have also given yourself liver damage."

"I did it," you cried into his chest, ignoring his remark as you continued to babble on. "I wouldn't have made it without you. I love you so much." You sobbed into his chest, your whole body shaking against him.

"No more tears, baby. You should be happy." He grabbed your face in his hands, craning down to reach your lips as you stood on your toes. "This is your night, let me take care of you."

You nodded sheepishly, wiping your eyes before accepting his hand in yours. He led you to the bedroom, setting you down on the bed, kissing your face repeatedly.

"No... more... tears," through each kiss. "Can you do that for me?"

"Yes, sir," you mumbled, lip caught between your teeth. You knew exactly what was coming.

"Gooood girl," he grinned, running his hands up your thighs. Instantly, that heat in your stomach began to pool, running your fingers through his hair as he knelt down to kiss the plush skin of your thighs. You let out a shaky breath at the sensation, wet, open mouthed kisses that were an omen of what was to come.

You shuffled back on the bed, opening your legs beside each side of his head, revealing that you still weren't wearing underwear.

"Fuck," he groaned, now planting those heavenly kisses along your inner thighs, causing you to squirm and wetten fast. He roughly pushed your dress up to your stomach, wasting no time to shove his fingers into your mouth. You drenched them completely, swirling your tongue around his digits slow enough to make the tent in his pants straining painfully against the mattress.

He removed his fingers from your mouth with a pop, sliding them into your entrance slowly. Your mouth fluttered open as a gentle gasp escaped, head tipping back at the feeling.

"You know, I got you something else as well," he started, voice dark, eyes gleaming mischievously. You lifted your head back up, brows still furrowed as you hummed out a, hm?

"Take off your dress, I'll be back," he affirmed, leaving the room with haste. Confused but intrigued nonetheless, you obliged, standing to unzip and slip off your dress, leaving it to pool around your ankles on the floor. You climbed back on the bed when you heard a door in the house shut, the sheer anticipation making your stomach knot.

He walked back in moments later, a box with a black ribbon around it. You sat up and took the box, gazing up at him unsure as you unwrapped your 'gift.'

You opened the box to a series of vibrators, dildos, lube, just about everything you could buy in a sex store. You stammered as your face blushed a deep red. You were... embarrassed?

"Aw, you don't like them, baby?" He taunted, positioning himself between your thighs again. You didn't speak, settling for staring at the ceiling to avoid his gaze at all costs. "C'mon, you'll love it, no need to be shy."

You willingly let him take the box from you, grabbing one of the vibrators out, a cutesy pink one, similar to one you already owned. He licked a stripe up your clit for lubrication, satisfied with the gasp he ripped from you. The buzz of the vibrator made your heart race, and you still couldn't meet his eyes. He held it to your clit on a medium setting first, causing your hips to buck at the sudden feeling.

"Could you cum from this alone?" He prodded, voice husky, dripping with arousal. You nodded with a shaky breath, eyes threatening to close on you. He turned up the speed to the highest setting, making you squirm in place, laboured breaths beginning to escape you. Still holding the vibrator to your clit, he climbed on top of you, using his free hand to play with your nipples.

"Matt," you whimpered breathlessly, guiding his mouth to your hardened bud, being pummelled closer and closer to the edge with every swipe of his tongue. "Kiss me."

And so, he did. Lips connecting with yours instantaneously, the combination of his body weight and warmth of his tongue surely delivering your orgasm with ease. He continued to kiss your open mouth that had slackened from pleasure, your hips bucking beneath him as your eyes found their way into the back of your head; a simple gesture of approval.

The overstimulation caused you to cry out again, attempting to pry the vibrator from his determined hands, "s'too much, please."

"Such a good girl," he praised, kissing your flushed cheeks as he removed the vibrator, pulling himself off of you. You caught your breath as he delved back into the box, pulling out one of the dildos. "Can we try this one?" He checked with you, that beautiful gapped smile on full display. Tonight was going to be all about you.

Albeit embarrassed, you agreed with your arm strung over your eyes, only hearing the cap of the lube open. "Ready, my pretty girl?"

"Mhm," you nodded, preparing yourself for the inevitable stretch. He slowly pushed the silicone in, eyes hooded and greedy as he watched it disappear inside you. You writhed in slight pain, a soft whimper dripping from your lips.

"Tha's it, gooood," he cooed, bringing his thumb down to circle your clit. "Watch yourself," he invited, continuing to slowly thrust the dildo in and out of your sensitive heat. You sat up to watch, jaw going slack at the sight, and you wish you hadn't. The muscles in his forearm flexing as his skilled fingers traced shapes into your sensitive clit, the other hand continuing to pick up the pace. "Think you can cum again for me?"

"Mhm, m-m'close," you whimpered, nails digging into his biceps as he pushed you to your second climax.

"Say my name," he commanded, increasing the pace in both hands, that all too familiar feeling daring to spill once more.

"Matt," you mewled, "fuck- Matt, I'm gonna, fuck!" Just like that, you reached your peak once more, melting into the plush sheets beneath you. "You're gonna kill me," you laughed breathlessly after you calmed down, pushing him down to straddle him. You weren't sure how, but now you were ready for round three. You were sure, though, that after this, you were going to need to abstain from sex for at least a year.

"You deserve it, I won't apologise for that," he grinned, kissing you for what felt like the millionth time that night.

"Let me return the favour, sir?" You quirked in your sudden drunken confidence, knowing what the nickname did to him. You crouched over him, lifting yourself enough to help him slip his pants off. Positive you'd never been so wet in your entire life, you lined his cock up to your entrance and sunk down without warning, ripping a guttural gasp from his flushed lips.

"Oh my god, you feel so good," you cried, bouncing on him in the most picturesque form of ecstasy.

"Yeah?" He moaned, fingers gripping your sides so painfully, it was sure to bruise. "You're so beautiful, look at you."

He really shouldn't have said that, not while you're in the figurative love (and literal) drunk state you were in. You leant forward to rest your head in the crook of his neck, his hands gripping your hips now, guiding you up and down his length at his desired pace. Which you'd learnt by now, was hard and fast. He continued to fuck into you, hitting that dizzying spot with every thrust without fail.

You began crying into his shoulder, unbeknownst to him. He grabbed you by your hair demanding, “fucking look at me,” as he continued with his unrelenting force, pulling you to his eye level. He immediately softened his grip when he saw your teary eyes for the countless time tonight.

“Am I being too rough? I’m sorry, baby,” his face and voice reflected genuine concern, completely halting all movement, leaning up to grab your face.

“I didn’t tell you to stop,” you warned through sniffles, rocking your hips faster against him, hands roughly pushing him back down by his chest. He was confused, but even more so turned on, using your face as leverage for each thrust, kissing you deeply.

It was wildly passionate, lips smashing together in fiery need, teeth clashing every now and then. Both of your lips were swollen and in desperate need to get impossibly closer, wanting to crawl inside of each others bodies.

"I really love you," you cried against his lips, tears streaming down your face at this point. "You're so good to me, professor."

He grabbed your throat gently, the sight of your tear stained cheeks combined with the sweet, yet sultry words that reverberated against his lips coaxed him closer and closer to his own long awaited orgasm.

"I love you princess," he groaned breathlessly, beads of sweat threatening to slide down his temples. "God, you feel so good, I'm not gonna last much longer," he warned, head thrown back, veins bugling through his neck.

You couldn't even think straight at this point, vision blurred, brain foggy, and breathing so laboured, it was making you lightheaded.

You started whining from over stimulation, warning, "I'm gonna cum, I-I don't think I can hold it," you whimpered, hands on his chest now balled into fists, eyes screwed shut in euphoria.

"I know, baby, I know," he cooed, the pitch of his voice an indication that he was just as close as you. "You're taking me so well. You can cum now."

You came undone around him for the third time, legs trembling, sobs wracking your whole body. Almost unintelligible, a plea to your lover, "cum in me, Matt."

And thus, he came undone beneath you, the most heavenly sounds bouncing around the room. You laid together, both sweaty and sticky, but not that either of you minded. You exchanged sweet nothings, basking in the afterglow of your love making. Guess that's one of the first times you could officially call it that.

"Wanna shower?" He offered, giving your forehead one last kiss before getting up.

"Mm," you groaned, practically in a vegetative state at this point. He just laughed, scooping you up bridal style.

"Still got that professor kink, huh?"

"The best professor I ever had," you giggled meekly as he carried you to the shower.

Fin ❤︎