#matt cohen fan fic

[freetobeafcknriot]

keeping up a list of plausible (in my mind) alternative faceclaims because i may not read much two-body fics but i like AUs, soooo...! this is gonna be a constant work in progress :)

aidan turner (as of above)

emma d'arcy (hear me out!)

freddy carter (my fellow soc fans will understand)

iwase yoji (tentatively adding him 'cause i'm keeping up with tnv and he's soooo)

manny jacinto (idk man it's just the vibe)

mackenyu (see the vision pls)

it's just something about the gaze! that royal vibe and quietly piercing and intense je-ne-sais-quoi both matt cohen and jabel managed to instill into how michael "looks" / carries himself. i can't explain it!

okay but what if—

hypothetically and for the aesthetics—

i mean.

i’m wondering.

michael.

[d-s-winchester]

Anything For You

(gif credit to the creator)

Prompt: Person A’s ex will be at the Christmas party person A is attending. Person B poses as A’s boyfriend. (There is also a picture prompt that will be inserted below the cut) Pairing: Matt x Reader Word Count: 1,454 Song: Sleigh Ride - The Ronettes Warnings: fluffy, fluffy Christmas fluff A/N: This is my entry for my own 12 Days of Christmas challenge! I wanted to incorporate all three aspects of the challenge so I combined a situational prompt, a photo prompt and a song prompt! I feel like I haven’t written anything in forever and feels good to finally have something to post! Anyway, feedback for this is awesome! :)

People always said that dating a coworker would be trouble and when you’d heard it you brushed it off. Now, though, you were realizing they were right. After a horrible breakup you were lucky that you worked in different departments but your job was hosting an office wide Christmas party and that meant you would have to see him again. It was something you really weren’t looking forward to.

 “It won’t be that bad,” your best friend, Matt, said as he flicked through the channels on your TV.

 “Oh, please, you groaned,” plopping down next to him on the couch with a huff, “it’s gonna be horrendous. I heard he has a new girlfriend who looks like a freaking supermodel. He’s probably gonna rub that in my face.”

 “I bet she’s a troll and I also bet he’s not gonna rub it in your face,” Matt countered, finally settling on some reruns of Friends.

 “He’s gonna rub it in my face.”

 Matt rolled his eyes before looking over at you. “Y/N/N, he hasn’t talked to you in months, he’s not gonna rub it in your face.”

 You let out another frustrated groan and leaned your head against the back of the couch. You knew Matt was probably right but that didn’t stop you from feeling the way you were feeling.

 “Hey,” Matt said, breaking the few minutes of silence between you, “what if I go to the Christmas party with you. You can tell him I’m your boyfriend or something if it makes you feel better.”

 “What?”

 “You can use me as a fake boyfriend to rub it in his face, if you want,” Matt shrugged.

 “Really?”

 “Yeah really,” he chuckled, “I wouldn’t have suggested it if I didn’t want to do it.”

 “You’re a lifesaver, Matty,” you said, leaning over to kiss his cheek, “a real lifesaver.”

 “Eh,” he shrugged, “I do what I can.”

 Two weeks later you were walking through the front doors of the hotel where the company Christmas party was being held, with Matt on your arm, more nervous than you had been in a while. You knew it was ridiculous, you were over him and he was over you, but that didn’t mean you wanted to see him or his new girlfriend.

 “It’s gonna be fine,” Matt smiled.

 You let out a breath and nodded, knowing he was right. You dropped your coats off at the coat check and headed toward the main ballroom. The party was already in full swing, everyone in the office was mingling -- drinks in hand, already having a good time. You and Matt found your table with ease and once Matt was sure you were alright he went to get drinks. It wasn’t much later that your ex approached your table, his girlfriend on his arm, and everyone was right -- she did look like a supermodel.

 “Y/N, good to see you,” he smiled, “this is my girlfriend, Grace.”

 You nodded and said it was nice to meet his girlfriend and you listened halfheartedly as you scanned the room for Matt. He continued to talk to you about how great his life had been since you were apart when Matt finally reappeared at your side. He handed you a drink before promptly kissing your cheek, clearly noticing that you were clearly uncomfortable in your current situation.

 “Everything ok, dear?” Matt asked with a smile.

 “Yeah absolutely,” you smiled, relieved he was by your side again, “where are my manners, Logan, Grace, this is my boyfriend, Matt.”

 Matt extended his hand and shook both Logan and Grace’s hands while exchanging pleasantries. It was clear from the look on Logan’s face that he was more than shocked by Matt and the fact that he was your ‘boyfriend’. Matt made small talk with them, the whole time keeping his hand on the small of your back, which was clearly throwing your ex off his game and that had you more than thrilled.

 It became clear not too long later that the whole situation was too much for your ex and he excused himself and his new girlfriend, claiming they needed to talk to other people, before walking off.

 “See, told you it would be fine,” Matt smiled, as the two of you sat down for dinner.

 “It was only fine because you were here,” you smiled at him, “seriously, Matty, thank you for being here for me tonight.”

 “Anything for you, Y/N/N.”

 As the night wore on you were enjoying yourself more and more and by the time dinner was done and the band started playing more upbeat Christmas songs you found yourself not even worrying about Logan or his new girlfriend, all you were concerned about was how great of a time you were having with Matt. You’d spent countless nights with Matt, he’d been your best friend for years, but for some reason this night felt different. It was almost as if you were seeing him a whole new light.

 You were in the middle of a conversation with one of your coworkers when the band started playing Sleigh Ride. You grinned as you grabbed Matt’s hand and excused yourself from the conversation as you pulled him toward the dance floor, gushing about how much you loved that song. You danced with him through the duration of the song, smiling the entire time, unable to remember a night when you’d had so much fun.

 Matt had convinced you to dance to a few more songs and far sooner than you’d have liked the party was coming to an end. The band played its last song and after walking out of the ballroom Matt went to grab your coats from the coat check. You walked out to the car and you and Matt drove back to your apartment in comfortable silence. He parked the car and walked you to your door. You’d done this a thousand times but for the second time that night it felt different.

 “Wanna come in?” you asked, “It’s not too late, we can throw on a movie.”

 “Yeah, sure,” he smiled and followed you into the apartment.

Once inside you kicked off your shoes and told him to pick a movie while you went to change into some comfortable clothes. After changing into a pair of flannel pajama pants and one of Matt’s old sweatshirts you headed back out to the living room and sat down on the couch, resting your legs over Matt’s lap as he started the movie.

 You watched the movie in silence for a few minutes before Matt said something. “You know, I was serious when I said I’d do anything for you.”

 You tore your eyes away from the screen to look at him, completely taken by surprise.

 “I know…”

 “No, Y/N/N,” he sighed, looking over at you, “I mean...I don’t know how to say this, but I’m gonna try. We’ve been friends for a long time, a really long time, and the last thing I want to do is ruin our friendship but I’ve been holding this in for a while now and after what a great time we had tonight I figure now’s as good a time as any. I love you, Y/N, I’ve been in love with you for a while but I was afraid to say anything.”

 You felt a rush of emotions hit you like a ton of bricks. Suddenly you knew why everything with Matt had felt so different all night, it was because there were underlying feelings there, and even if you hadn’t been aware of them in the moment it was becoming quite clear to you now that you felt the same way he did. You were quiet for longer than you’d thought and the only indication of that was the panicked look on Matt’s face.

 “Say something, Y/N/N. Anything. Please. You’re freaking me out here.”

 You couldn’t think, let alone form words, your brain was running a million miles a minute trying to make sense of everything. Knowing you couldn’t convey what you were thinking verbally, you pulled your legs from his lap and sat up before leaning forward to press your lips to his. It clearly wasn’t something either of you was expecting but it was something you were both glad was happening.

 You couldn’t have pictured a more perfect moment, the lights from your Christmas tree was the only thing illuminating the room other than the TV, your lips pressed to his in the sweetest first kiss you could have ever imagined. It was the kind of thing you’d always dreamed of, finding the perfect person, and you didn’t realize until that moment that it was right in front of you all along.

[deanwasalwaysbi]

They are starting in 1972 which is the year John and Mary met. Dean was sent back in time by Cas to 1973 and Mary was still living with the Campbells. Sam doesn't go back in time until 1978, and they don't get married until 1975. We actually ARE going to get a Mary Winchester prequel where she has hunter adventures she doesn't tell John about?! We're getting Mary Campbell Bewitched?! If there's a season 2 are we going to watch John die (again) (again)?!

[afterimagesofyou]

hey

okay, so, i got something on my mind that im gonna ramble about, and i guess i also got a question. 

ive been watching supernatural for so long that i dont even remember when i started, and my memory has always been shit, so when i watched season 15, im sad to say that i completely forgot about adam and michael. i barely remembered seasons 4 and 5 (not cause they were bad, just cause i dont even remember when i watched them, and if you asked me to describe any details of those seasons without any prior memory/knowledge or id die, then id have to say goodbye to my loved ones lmao). so when i watched ep 15x08, seeing adam and michael again was a wonderful surprise. but because i barely remembered they existed, i had absolutely no idea that they were a ship, even before that episode. i was in the destiel tag when i first saw the term “midam”, and at first i was a little confused, but then i went into the tag and my eyes opened. i scrolled through the tag as much as i could, read your guys’s posts, looked at the fanart, and rewatched 15x08. and i completely understand. the chemistry is excellent, and jake abel is phenomenal at playing both adam and michael. 

but as i was looking at fan art and reading a shit ton of fics on ao3, i noticed that a lot of people either draw/describe michael as either his copy of adams body, or looking like young john winchester (matt cohen). and i didnt realize that people were thinking about matt cohen when they think about michael outside of adams body, so before i realized that, in my head ive been picturing michael as looking like paul bettany, who plays michael in the movie legion. if you havent seen it, you should, its a really great movie, and paul bettany plays a really good michael (even if you dont wanna watch the movie, at least look up what he looks like in the movie). and even now that i know that matt cohen is most peoples “outside of adam look”, i still cant get paul bettany out of my head, probably because i watched that movie before i even knew what supernatural was, and paul will always stick in my head when i think about the archangel michael. 

so now here comes my question:

who do yall picture when you think about michael outside of adams body? do you just think of adam, or matt cohen, or someone else? please let me know, i would love to discuss this! 

[todaydreambelievers]

The Newdie Awards!!

So, now that TDB is winding down - and in honor of the final podcast, I decided to hand out a few awards for all the people who’ve helped me along the way.  It’s a lot like The Office’s Dundie Awards! (only nicer).  

First of all, though, I want to shout a huge thank you to all the people who’ve donated so far to the TDB Pool - to keep the podcast hosted for years to come, so new people can listen, even if we’re not producing new content.  I’m amazed at how much we’ve raised so far.  Thank you so, so much for all your contributions! 

Secondly, a shout out to @seeroftodayandtomorrow - who diligently watched the show every week with me for the last two years.  That’s quite the feat and shouldn’t be discounted.  You guys try doing anything for two years straight! <3 

Thirdly, not sure how many of you realize this but @nikkisrandomthingsfan has been modding @todaydreambelieversfic for years now, and does an amazing job of it.  I can’t thank her enough for taking that over for me - and agreeing to continue to watch over the fic blog even after the main TDB blog ends.  In addition - to all the writers, including those who did the Author Spotlights with us back in the day, and to all the artists and creators out there - I hope you keep on doing your thing.  We’re blessed to have such creative talent in the fandom.  Thank you, thank you <3 

The Newdies!! 

The Matt Rutherford: Not Here but Not Forgotten Award goes to... 

All of my lovely guests who weren’t here in the finale.  I’ve had the pleasure of discussing the show with so many wonderful people - and I’m grateful to all the people who took the time to be on the podcast an share your thoughts.  Thank you for being such wonderful guests <3 

The Blaine Anderson: Biggest Stan Award goes to... 

@thedorkmark   There are plenty of Blaine stans around, but I haven’t met any that have surpassed Izzie’s passion and willingness to die on any hill.  And like Blaine, Izzie’s a sweetheart and a kind soul.  Thank you for bringing such joy and fire to the podcast <3 <3

The Mike Chang: All Around Awesome Award goes to...

@somewhereonlyino​  Like Mike, Lauren’s sometimes quiet, but always brings a fun and warm attitude to the podcast.  Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and being such a team player.  <3 <3  The Tina Cohen-Chang: Don’t Cut Me Off Award goes to...

@carojane​ - I’ve never met a person who stans Tina harder than Carly, someone who shares Tina’s strong will and ability to push through the hard parts with sheer determination.  You’re sweet and sensitive and kind but also won’t back down from a fight.  Thank you so much for everything you’ve shared over the years <3 <3

The Sugar Motta: Sweet’n’Spicy Award goes to... 

@coming-up-rosie​ - Every time Rosie pops on to the podcast, she’s sweet’n’spicy and always knows how to liven up the conversation.  While not around a lot on the podcast, like Sugar, whenever you were on you brought joy and enthusiasm - especially lovely since I kept placing you on such random podcasts.  Thank you so much for your ability to go with the flow and have fun while doing it <3 <3 

The Sam Evans: Always Lending a Helping Hand Award goes to... 

@klaineship2​ Over the years, Carmen has been such a hard worker! She’s done the entire rewatch with me, continues diligently to keep track of fics, and has even translated my and other’s fic into another language for more people to read!! Like Sam, you’re kind and dependable, and great friend who’s always there to jump in and help out.  Thank you so much for everything you’ve done over the years <3 <3 

The Adam Crawford: Cutie Across the Pond Award goes to... 

@perfectanomaly  The thing about Anny is that she’s always coming at me with an unexpected, but welcome, new point of view, and challenging me on how I see the characters.  Like Adam, she’s sweet and friendly (and also European!) and reminds me that these character’s don’t always have to live in the boxes we sometimes place them in.  Thank you so much for keeping me on my toes all these years, and giving me new perspectives to think about <3 <3 

The Santana Lopez: Tell It Like It Is Award goes to...

@honeysucklepink​ - Pink, you’ve been such a firecracker over the years!  Your deep love of music and glee and Darren Criss has driven your passion, and like Santana you’re never afraid to shy away from your opinions, even if they’re different from everyone else’s.  But also like Santana - you care deeply about the things and people are important to you.  Thank you for always bringing your massive knowledge of music and crackling stories to the podcast <3 <3 

The Sue Sylvester: Kicking Down the Fourth Wall Award goes to...

@slayediest​ - No one on the podcast has had an insider view of production quite like Slayediest, so it’s always fascinating to hear your stories about how things probably happened on the show.  But also, like Sue, you don’t really give a shit about all the nonsense going on around you, and think that most of the drama is ridiculous and silly (and it is!) and I really appreciate it about you.  You have a great sense of humor, and are always reminding me to sit back and enjoy the craziness in the world.  Thank you for letting me drag you on all these years, I’ve always valued your input so much <3 <3 

The Marley Rose: Most Precious of Precious Muffins Award goes to...

@sleepdeprivedmind - Connie, hands down, is one of the kindest, most positive, purest people I know.  I’ve never heard her say a bad word about anything, and even tries to bring a positive on some of the most negative subjects (like Will!!, lol)  Like Marley, you have such a big heart and warm soul and radiate joy whenever you come on the podcast. I’m incredibly thankful to call you my friend, thank you so much for all the great conversations we’ve had <3 <3 

The Mercedes Jones: Oh Hell to the No Award goes to...

@black-john-lennon​ - Kay was the first guest I recorded with on the show, and I’m so grateful for that first conversation, because it helped me gain the confidence that this project was something I could accomplish long term!  Kay’s never been one to back down from a fight - but doing so from a place of passion and getting to the heart of the matter.  Like Mercedes, you do have a sassy, won’t-back-down attitude, but I think you also share her vulnerability and big heart, and I don’t think that’s appreciated enough.   Thank you so much for so many fantastic conversations, and becoming someone I can call a good friend <3 <3 

The Emma Pillsbury: The Gingers Always Know Best Award goes to...

@redheadgleek​ - Oh, Julia, so calm and wise in her ways, she’ll always be there to lend a listening ear or be of service in whatever way she can be!  Like Emma - I think you’re smart and on the nose about a lot of things, but also incredibly kind and caring. And, many people may or may not know, the backbone of keeping a lot of fandom things afloat.  (She has every Klaine fic ever stored on a drive somewhere in case the apocalypse happens guys, lol <3)  Thank you for always being so sweet, and listening to me ramble on with an open mind and an open heart <3 <3 

The Kurt Hummel: There Are More Than Four Sides to Me Award goes to...

@kurtmckinnon​ - Kelley helped me redefine what a Kurt Stan could be.  Believe it or not, being a Kurt fan myself, I always shied away from the term - but Kelley’s love and passion for the character, and the show, helped me be secure in my identification of being a Kurt Stan (lol).  But more so, like Kurt, there are far more sides to you and you’ve always come to the podcast with a new perspective and a way of thinking that I might not have been privvy to.  I appreciate so much that you kept challenging how I saw the world.  Thank you so much for being such a huge, positive champion of Kurt, and always pushing me to think outside of the box <3 <3 

The Finn Hudson: The Show’s Gonna Go All Over The Place Aware goes to...

@notthatbea - My dearest Bethany, my goodness where do I even start.  Always there when I needed her, Bethany’s never been afraid to back away no matter what kinda crazy scheme I’ve got going on.  Like Finn, she’s sometimes bumbling along with me (in a good way!) but has a huge heart and always willing to go with it now how matter how crazy and out of control things get.  Thank you so, so much for becoming my good friend, for letting me take you on some of these insane adventures, and solidifying yourself in my heart - so much love <3 <3 

The Brittany Pierce: Special Unicorn Award goes to... 

@slayerkitty​ - No one has a laugh quite like Kitty’s, and it’s a delight to hear it, even when it’s for the most randomest of things.  Like Brittany, she’s a little bit sweet, a little awkward, a little odd, and a whole lot wonderful unicorn - all of it wrapped up in such a delightful way.  I’m sorry I cancelled your contract so many times - know that I couldn’t really imagine doing the podcast without you there.  Thank you so much for your fountain of knowledge, your great sense of humor, and your deep love of all fandom things - you’re unique and wonderful in your own special way, and I appreciate that about you <3 <3 

The Cooper J Anderson Emotional Tornado Award goes to...

@ckerouac​ - I mean is anyone really surprised by this??  RB is the ultimate emotion tornado, swooping in and creating a great time like like none other.  Like Cooper - your enthusiasm never wavers, your energy is inspiring, your sense of fun is endless, and you’re always pointing me (ha) in the right direction, and I’m guessing you probably have really great hair. 

Thank you for the phrase - ‘I wanna lick him nipple to navel’ and your vast knowledge of liquors, and the bangity-bang song, and the 2 out of 3 podcasters joke.  Thank you for jumping in on a podcast as a pinch-hitter even when you didn’t even know what the topic was.  Thank you for all the laughs and the sometimes tears and the driving me crazy but not really.  Thank you for becoming one of my greatest friends - I value your friendship deeply. Just - thank you <3 <3 

And one final thought - Iron Man’s better.  He just is, RB, I mean really ;) 

The Elliott Gilbert: Glitter Rock Vampire Award goes to... 

@snarkyhag​​ - I’m not really sure I have words to express how I feel about the one and only Le Diva Hag.  You are the Glitter Rock Vampire of my world - always there, always helping, always being a life coach and a wonderful friend.  I can’t tell you all the things she’s done for me over the years - because if I did it’d take up another post entirely.  But know that sometimes you come to a fandom just wanting to hang out and enjoy the silly world that is your favorite story, and you walk away finding someone whose become one of your closet friends.  I have nothing but gratefulness for everything she’s brought into my life.  

I love you, Snarky, you are the Elliott to my Kurt, and I promise I’m never saying good-bye to you <3 <3 

and finally...

The Rachel Berry: Greatest Star Award goes to...

YOU!!! 

To all my listeners, and all the people who’ve contributed to TDB over the years, taking polls, giving prompts, writing stories, doing art, joining in on the conversation, or just hitting like or reblog.  This blog has been made special because you were a part of it.  To my real Daydream Believers - thank you for bring such joy to my life and others.  You all are the greatest stars <3  

Congratulations!!! 

[katiebug445]

Katie says goodbye to the Supernatural cons.

Alright, so, I’ve been putting off writing this post for a couple days, because exhaustion hit me like a freight train and I’ve been feeling icky and sickly for awhile, so bleh. But okay. Time to get emo on main. 

So about five years ago, around this time of year, actually, i finally got the chance to go to my first ever convention. me and some friends at the time were all planning on going to the Salute to Supernatural convention in Minneapolis, Minnesota in August of 2015. I was so excited to finally get to do this, because I’d been wanting to go to a con since 2011. This was my chance to finally go, and see Richard Speight Jr, and make a dumb dream that kept me alive for a long time come true. And it was, without a doubt, the most magical, and important experience of my life to date. 

Around this time, I was beginning to come up in the fandom. i had a really good following, my fics were getting a lot of attention, i was in with a group that was insanely popular, and life was actually really good. The show was the most important thing in my life, and i had countdowns going until it came back on in the fall. i was in very deep in the fandom, and it was my main source of happiness, so going to this con was going to be fucking HUGE for me.

^^ freshly turned 20 year old Katie out there living the best life she could at the time. she was trying her best. 

So we get to Minneapolis on that Thursday, and we’re walking around, and it hadn’t exactly sunk in yet that I was there. Like, I knew I was going, and I knew what was all going to happen, but I hadn’t been like “oh god this is happening” as of then. 

I remember the moment that it did sink in, though. We were sitting in our seats, Richard and Rob were up on stage doing the rules and regulations, and I kind of came back into my body and realized that i was shaking a LOT, and i just remember looking around the auditorium, and then back up to the stage, and hearing Richard’s voice. I thought to myself “You did it. You made it here. You stayed alive for this moment right here. You fucking did it.” and that’s when everything sunk in completely for me. 

i remember crying a lot after that. 

The con was everything I imagined it would be. I laughed a TON, i got to spend time with some - at the time - really good friends, and I was very swept up in the magic of the whole weekend, and I never wanted that feeling to go away. 

Then on Sunday, I got to meet Richard in person. 

I won’t go into details, and I’ll spare the sob story that lead up to all of it, but I will summarize and say that Sunday at Minncon 2015 remains one of the most important days of my entire life. there was so much personal feelings wrapped up in all of that, and I still have no clue how i managed not to break down crying as soon as i saw him. 

I love that man more than just about anything else, even to this day. richard is still a driving force to me to keep on going with life no matte what happens, and i owe him so much for that. 

anyways, i loved the con. I loved the show, the cast, the whole experience. I walked away from that with some of the best memories that i will keep with me forever. I’ve said this a thousand times before over the last several years, but Richard Speight makes those conventions an incredible experience. The effort he puts into them, the way he treats his fans, all of it makes the cons so special for me. I thank him so much for being such a wonderful person, and making me want to go back again and again and again. 

And i wanted so badly to do just that. I wanted to see Richard again. I wanted to do the cons, and hang out with friends more, and just do the whole fucking thing. Because that was peak happiness for me. it still is, in some ways. 

Between the ending of 2015 and the beginning of 2017, i had a bad falling out with the people i went to Minncon with. i lost a lot of my popularity, i backed way off of all of the corners of the fandom that I’d made a name for myself in, and i kept my head down. I did and said some really stupid stuff that I’m not exactly proud of, and I paid the price for it. As a result, i started backing off. 

But I still loved Richard, and i wanted to see him again. 

So I saved. And saved. And saved even more. And in February of 2017, I got the chance to do it all again. I got to meet and hang out with a BUNCH of friends on that trip, and I got to spend a lot of time with two people who have become so important to me, and who I love dearly. 

i owe that to Nashville. 

^^ 21 year old Katie, had experienced a lot of bullshit and was living a her goodest life, but not her best. Still trying to get through some shit and attempting to grab life by the balls once more. 

Nashville was... an experience.

the company that puts on the cons ended up doing a mega price raise, and everything went up by a lot of dollars (i’m too tired to math now, but it was a fucking LOT of money and even more stress by the time i got to buy tickets). I was really mad about it, and decided that nashville would be my second and last con. 

i decided to go ahead and go all out with it since nobody would ever see me again. 

I got to see richard right out of the gate again on that Friday, and actually got the chance to talk to him for a moment (i use that term very loosely, seeing as my “talking” is just me stuttering out two or three words and running away)  and by some fucking miracle, richard actually fucking remembered my dumb face, and that made my entire life up to that point worth living (still kinda does tbh). I hurried out of the autograph line with my buddies, found the nearest chair i could plop down into where he wouldn’t see me, and i cried. i cried real ass tears (thanks for putting up with me, that day, christy!)

I actually got called up to do karaoke this time with one of my absolute best friends and favorite people, and we fucking rocked it. for four minutes, we were rockstars and it was fucking great. we got to act like idiots and get yelled at by Matt Cohen (KAZOO KREW FOR LIFE!) and ugh. it was just incredible.

Saturday was good. tt’s kind of a blur of ups and downs and photo ops, but overall, it was a good day. Same with Sunday. I know a lot more tears were shed by a lot of people in our group. And christy and brandi screamed at misha collins. That was fucking hilarious. 

Nashville was a fucking great con, and despite all the crap that happened during and after, i wouldn’t trade it or change a single thing about it. I loved that con, and the people i got to go to it with. we all had an incredible time. 

And part of me still, despite everything i told myself, wanted to go again. 

Between February and May of 2017, i underwent a huge change in my life: I somehow got talked into watching anime with a - at the time - good friend of mine, and realized “wow. this is actually a lot better than what spn has done for a long time.” and it kinda pissed me off because WOW THIS IS WHAT SHOWS COULD BE LIKE WITH WELL WRITTEN FEMALE CHARACTERS THAT DON’T DIE!!!!! (thank you, fma for helping me see that light!). i was mad, but i was still devoted to spn, and yadda yadda yadda. 

in May of 2017, i watched the finale of season 12 at my friend Cas’s place, and the finale left such a bad taste in my mouth, that i decided that was it. i was angry, i was hurt, i was completely done. i stepped completely out of the fandom, i muted all the fan accounts i followed on twitter, i spent that whole summer getting farther into the weeb side of life, and farther away from my spn roots. 

and i’ve never fucking regretted it since. 

I started looking into conventions for anime around my hometown, and ended up finding one that looked fun. And Ohayo was a fucking BLAST - but that’s a post that’s been sitting in my drafts since january that i haven’t written up yet. I’ll finish writing that eventually...

but i was so done with spn by that point that i wasn’t even upset that nashville was the last con for me. 

I had started getting back into the fandom during s13, started writing fic again, and THEY ACTUALLY BROUGHT MY HONEYBEAR SON, MY PRIDE AND JOY, MY EVERYTHING, MY FUCKING WAFFLE CHILD BACK AND EVERYTHING WAS RIGHT WITH THE WORLD. I WAS HAPPY. I WAS BACK. I WAS LIVING MY BEST FUCKING LIFE. 

and then... then they took him away from me again. for nothing more than shock value. 

and then i said nope fuck this im out im done fuck you all i’m going full ass weeb. FUCK IT ALL. i doubled down on my belief that i was doing no more cons, no more anything. 

And then the fuckers announced that there would be a convention in cleveland, OH. Which I had been single-handedly campaigning for a con here for YEARS. When I finally get out of the fandom, they give us one. Absolute bastards! 

So, with a defeated sigh, i decided “one more. one more and then it’s over for real.” 

besides, i really, really, really, REALLY wanted to see richard again. 

So i decided, why not get the remaining members of the gang back together, and go out with a fucking blast? that kinda worked. i got one member of the gang to come with me, and the other was there in spirit. 

Richard cancelled about a week and a half before, which meant that my main reason for going was gone. and then misha cancelled until sunday, which meant my other reason for going was gone. but i still wanted to go and say goodbye to the cons and what little bit of the cast was there.

so we get there on friday, knowing full well friday is the only day we’re going, we didn’t buy tickets, we didn’t do anything to give creation our money, and we went in AOT cosplay because we’re cringy cool like that. and it was... surprisingly freeing.

^^ 23 year old Katie, who at this point has seen so much shit it doesn’t phase her anymore. Living an even better life than 2015!Katie. much more confident in herself, and a lot happier in general. Still trying her best. 

the con itself was a shitshow. it was an absolute shitshow. but i had every bit as much fun hanging in the lobby with my friend as i did actually doing the panels and stuff. i knew this was my goodbye, and having the con be so higuhgieh actually made it a little easier to say goodbye to it. karaoke was a fucking blast, and i shouted and danced the entire night, and my poor voice suffered. 

you’d think i just saw my best friend get eaten by a titan right in front of my eyes by how gone my voice was by the end of the night. -cough-

on the way back to the hotel is when it hit me that it was officially over. i cried the whole 20 minute drive back, knowing that this was the final time i’d ever see any of it. my last karaoke. my last chance to see everyone. my last spn con.  it was so bittersweet, because i had such a blast, but it was done. it was all done.

and i didn’t even get to say bye to the man that i owe everything to. that’s what hurt the most about the whole thing. 

i wouldn’t trade the cons for anything. i spent some of the best (and worst) years of my life doing them. the experiences and memories i have from these conventions are ones i wouldn’t give up, even if i could spare myself some heartache or stress. i am so grateful for these opportunities to meet these incredibly talented people, and get to see my friends there, and just have the time of my life. there isn’t one thing about any of those cons that i regret. 

i am so sad to be giving them up, but i know it’s for the best. the prices keep going up, and it would take even longer to afford them, and i just can’t keep doing it to myself. the stress is crazy enough as it is, and there’s a lot i’ve missed out on trying to afford these things. 

Not only that, but I’ve grown and evolved so much from that 19 year old doing everything she could to save back for her first con - and out of state trip. i’m not anywhere near who i was back then. i’ve gained much more confidence in myself, i’ve gained much more self worth, learned to control my anxiety/depression, and learned what i will and will not put up with from people. i’m a MUCH happier person than i was back then, and i’ve gained a lot of life experience and a lot of new interests over the last few years. so much has happened so fast, and almost everything has turned on its head. 

but one thing that hasn’t changed for me is my love for Richard Speight Jr. I have said it in this post alone several fucking times, but i adore Richard. He is without a doubt one of the funniest people I’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting, and he makes these cons so special for a lot of people - myself included. he’s the reason I kept wanting to go back, the reason that i kept pushing through the bad times, he’s been my reason to “Always Keep Fighting”. I am so blessed to have so many memories with him, and they’re the ones i talk about more than anything when talking about the cons. He will always have a huge and special place in my heart, and he will still continue being one of the big reasons why I keep pushing, and keep going, even when i don’t want to. he has absolutely no idea how important him just existing has been for this dumbass, and i really wish that he did. i hope that he knows the impact he’s had on my life, and that he’s always been my favorite since the trickster first announced that he had more ass than a toilet seat. richard has been one of the biggest inspirations to me for the last 6 years, and i literally owe the man my life. i’m so happy that he exists. it makes things a little easier knowing that he does. 

I’m going to miss him so much that it hurts, and I hate that I didn’t get to see him or get to hug him one more time. that’s the hardest part for me about saying goodbye to the cons. 

it’s so bittersweet going forward now, because there’s this huge part of my life that’s over, and i don’t know how to fully express all of it, but im so glad that i got to be on the ride as long as i did. 

hopefully in the future, things will continue to be as fun as the last four and a half years have been. i can’t wait to see what future conventions hold for me and my friends. 

[stardusttkachuk-main]

Cuddle-able

Pairing: Rob x Reader

Warnings: fluff, some swearing

Word Count: 1,077

Prompt: Rob and Y/N have been dating for a few months now, having kept their relationship a total secret for the majority of it. Once they let their friends in on the secret, it’s smooth sailing, until they forget the fans don’t know yet and Misha accidentally outs them.

Prompt 2: this fic is based off of the Facebook live video Misha did forever ago. I couldn’t get over how cute and cuddly Rob looked on the couch.

A/N: don’t judge me: I made the gif myself. I’m not very good, as you can tell, but I can’t for the life of me find a gif of Rob curled up on the couch and I desperately needed it for this fic.  You guys! @crispychrissy  was nice enough to make me a better quality gif of Rob on the couch! I’m so thankful for the kind gesture, it looks much better than anything I could’ve ever done so thank you again so so much!

A/N 2: I’m also bad at making Instagram edits, but also there are no lookalikes of Rob so deal.

(gif courtesy of @crispychrissy)

When the volunteer brought in the blankets and pillows, you were quick to snatch one up of each and claim your spot on the couch. Everyone was busy, so you really had nothing to do. You planned on catching a cat-nap before the concert tonight. You threw your headphones in, curled up onto the couch and closed your eyes.

You woke to the door slamming and some rather rambunctious voices swirling around.

“Hey,” someone voiced a little softer. You opened your eyes just in time to see Rob place his finger to his lips and point at you. When he turned his head, he hung it in defeat. “Or not. She’s already awake.”

“Yeah, thanks a lot,” you grumbled teasingly.

“Pillows!” Richard yelled, tossing one on the floor and then throwing two blankets down with it. “I’m gonna be a burrito.” You giggled as he set up camp in front of the couch you were laying on.

Rob made his way over to you, climbing in behind you on the couch that was not nearly big enough for two. After a couple of months of sneaking around with Rob, the cast eventually found out the two of you were dating, which made conventions and set life a lot easier, but the fans had yet to know.

Misha joined you all backstage. He and Mark were waiting for their autograph booths to be set up and everything to be ready for them, so they took the time to hang out and talk for a little while.

“I’m gonna—I’m gonna do a live stream, is that alright?” He asked. No one had any complaints until you realized he was filming this for the fans, meaning that if the fans saw you all curled up against Rob, there would definitely be some questions.

Rob noticed too, and as Misha panned his way to Rich, you tried your hardest to get out of frame as quickly as possible. Rob’s eyes followed you as you stood, giving you a kind smile and shifting onto his back on the couch. You moved over to Chris and Matt, tucking yourself between them.

Rob talked to the camera lazily, his eyes shifting towards you every couple of seconds. Rich had a tendency to make everyone laugh and he was doing just that, joking about being the band's spoon and even letting Billy Moran cuddle up to him. You giggled on the sidelines as Misha panned the phone your way.

“And look at these three, all on their feet,” he said. Chris and Matt both puckered their lips to place kisses on your forehead and you leaned your chin on your fist, smiling happily.

“So yeah. This is it. Exciting stuff,” Misha continued.

“Rock and roll,” Rob added. Misha ended the vlog with a closeup on Rich’s face, letting him whine about his lack of sleep. His own fault, you figured.

You joined Rob back on the couch, frowning as he spoke an apology in your ear. You turned over to face him, resting your head against his chest. You didn’t want to talk about his apology, so instead, you simply closed your eyes and let yourself rest with him.

No matter how hard he tried, Rob could never sneak out without waking you up. Whether the two of you were in bed together, or it was a time like right now on the couch, he always failed at escaping without disrupting your slumber.

“I have to go pull Kim and Bri off stage, I’ll be back,” he whispered, leaning down to kiss your lips.

You took a glance around the room at all your friends gathered there. Now it was just Misha, Chris and Matt. “Sorry I fell asleep on y’all,” you apologized with a laugh. The three men chuckled too.

“It's okay. We only took pictures of you while you slept. Rob wouldn't let us draw a mustache,” Matt teased.

You giggled with an eye roll and sat up on the couch, taking the blanket with you. “Did I miss anything?” They shook their heads and you smiled. “Did you guys nap?”

“Mark and Rich did,” Misha answered. “The rest of us talked.”

“So serious question,” Matt interrupted. There was a spring in his voice like he had been keeping back this question all day. “How come you and Rob haven't told the fans about your relationship?”

“There's not really a need to?” You mentioned, a bit taken aback by the question. “The timing isn't really right either. I know fans have their suspicions and such but we haven't been together that long. You guys only found out about a month ago, and he and I had only been keeping it a secret for a couple months before that.”

“Have you talked about telling the fans?” Matt pressed on.

“Yeah, of course. I just don't think he or I are ready yet. Why the sudden interest in it?”

“You didn't get out of frame quick enough,” Misha mumbled, his head hanging low in sorrow.

“You guys are weird. What frame?”

“The Facebook live video,” Misha responded. “In all fairness, they think the two of you are really cute.”

You were every bit confused, trying to retrace your steps and think about what Facebook live video you had been on when you were with Rob. Then it hit you. The couch; the video that happened just an hour or so ago. “Ohhhh,” you drug out, shaking your head.

“Hey, don’t feel bad,” you said, noticing Misha’s frown. “You warned us and I don’t think you were purposely trying to expose us.”

“Actually he was,” Matt interrupted. “That’s was his whole plan all along.”

You laughed, throwing your pillow at him. “You’re an ass. I bet you put him up to it!”

“Innocent until proven guilty.”

“Matt Cohen, you are always guilty of something,” you teased.

“Rob’s gonna be real happy you’re cool with this,” Matt smiled.

“Y’all have a panel tomorrow. I’ll let him spill the beans then.”

“He’s not going to wait that long,” Matt laughed, earning a nod from Misha and Chris.

Of course, they were right. When Rob found out you were okay with letting the fans know about your relationship, he didn’t hesitate to pick his favorite picture of you two and share it on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook. He chose one from today, you two at your most relaxed moment, unedited and unscripted. In his words, just perfect.

Forever Tags: @iwantthedean @a-fan-fighting-for-equality @smoothdogsgirl @jayankles @faegal04 @feelmyroarrrr @27bmm @maddieburcham1 @melonshino @sayukoi @impalaimagining @riversong-sam @atc74 @goldenolaf25 @plaidstiel-wormstache @thegrouchiestunicorn @thebitterbookeater @growningupgeek@sandle44 @rda1989 @weasleywinchester-blog @fightmenegan @itsmyeffingstory @angelblazon @mrswhozeewhatsis @meeshw777 @jotink78 @poukothenerd @mogaruke @devilgirlsarah @queencflair @hexparker @ruprecht0420 @summer-binging-spn @holychuckitsthewinchesters @super100012 @jerk-bitch-and-an-angel @supernatural-jackles @taste-of-dean @casownsmyass @danradislife @samisimportant @holyfuckloueh @hsjolie

My tag list is still open! Add yourself here!

If there’s a strikethrough on your name, it means I can’t tag you! Go here to fix it!

[coltsandquills]

2, 3, and 23 for salty ask game

I’m guessing this is for SPN, but if you wanted to hear my thoughts on a different fandom, just send another ask!

2. Are there any popular fandom OTPs you only BroTP?*

Any member of Team Free Will with any other member of Team Free Will. Though Sastiel tickles me because I feel like the Sam and Cas dynamic is so underrated. 

3. Have you ever unfollowed someone over a fandom opinion?

I unfollow just about anyone I see being really hateful to another member of the fandom. 

You can hate the character, the plot, the actor, the ship – doesn’t bother me.

But when you act malicious toward another fan with a different opinion than your own about any of the above? Not uh. 

And I’m not talking disputes that break out over serious topics which tangentially relate to the cast and show; I’m talking the petty shit that floods the site every time a convention comes around or a controversial episode airs.

Quick ramble?

In the last year, I’ve somewhat fallen away from the SPN fandom because of hero worship of the actors. The SPN cast is phenomenal when it comes to their dedication to the fans and the good they’ve done in the world, but again – I’ve seen fans rip one another to shreds when someone says something bad about the actor they most admire. 

I can’t imagine that most of the cast would want to see fans treat one another like that. And honestly, if they did? Then that cast member wouldn’t be worth our respect anyway.

23. Unpopular character you love? 

I haven’t seen S12, so I have no idea where he currently stands in the fandom’s eyes, but I have always adored Crowley with all my heart. Sassy villains without remorse are always my fav, and while I still like him as a somewhat-softy, his zero-empathy game of the early seasons was my favorite. I mean, seriously. Why did this plot point die??? ;_; 

And while I don’t love Metatron, I feel like I need to give him a speck of approval here, because the world will never convince me that the fandom wouldn’t be writing slash fic between him and Dean if he had looked like Matt Cohen. 

[napofamikrokosmos]

YOU KNOW WHAT SINCE I'M ALREADY ON THE STREAK OF EXPOSING MYSELF HERE'S MORE.

The friend I co-admin the account with. Wrote me into their fan fic as Michael's (The Archangel. the Matt Cohen version) wife and we adopted Jack as our child

If I ever write a fic with supernatural creatures y'all better expect I'm using the actual Supernatural TV show as my point of reference

If I ever write anything with time travel it'll be heavily inspired by Doctor Who cause I'm a fucking loser

You can take me out of the crazy SuperWhoLock part Tumblr but you can't take my appreciation of those shows out of me

[d-s-winchester]

Me & You

(gif credit to the creator)

Part Six

Master List

Pairing: Matt x Reader Word Count: 1,006 Song: I’m Like A Lawyer With The Way I’m Always Trying To Get You Off (Me & You) - Fall Out Boy Warnings: none? A/N: The final part is here, my loves! Thank you all so much for your support with this story and for bearing with me with my first time writing Matt! Also, this series is completely inspired by the song above. Hope you guys like it! Anyway, feedback for this is awesome! :)

The rest of the dinner with Matt was tense to say the least. By the time you were back in your room you were a mess of emotions, not entirely sure what to make of the evening. Sam noticed your distress as soon as you walked in and was at your side as you were pulling off your shoes.

 “What happened?” she asked.

 You recounted the evening to her and when all was finally said and done you looked almost defeated.

 “He was practically begging for forgiveness as we left,” you sighed.

 “You keep telling me you’re not over him, no matter how much I tell you to move on,” Sam said, “So what are you waiting for?”

 “Sam, c’mon. I don’t need you upset with me right now.”

 “I’m not,” Sam promised, sitting next to you on the bed. “I’m genuinely telling you, you have to do what your heart is telling you. The only reason I said otherwise is because I worry about you getting hurt again. I saw the way he looked at you when you left for dinner. After fighting it for this long, I think it’s time you admit defeat.”

 Sam’s words lifted the weight of the world off your shoulders and you immediately knew she was right -- you just needed someone else to tell you Matt was sincere, that he wasn’t going to hurt you again. You needed that reassurance, you needed someone on your side. Even though you were still battling with what he had done to you, you knew that Sam was right, you needed to talk to him and once you did everything would be fine.

 “So what should I do?”

 “Tell him how you feel,” Sam replied, “as soon as possible. You don’t want to risk losing him again.”

 “I don’t know his room number,” you sighed, “but I do know he’s leaving tomorrow to head back to LA.”

 “Then tomorrow you find him and you tell him, it’s a simple as that.”

 You nodded, knowing she was right, and got off the bed to change into your pajamas. After watching a movie you fell into a restless sleep, not knowing what to expect the next day. You woke up early and spent the better part of the morning getting ready for the day. You knew Matt had an early flight, he’d told you as much, and when the time was right you made sure you had your room key and headed down to the hotel lobby.

 Hoping to catch him there before he left, with no luck, and waiting a few minutes you decided to head to the airport -- hoping you could catch him there. You called a cab and once you made it to the airport you searched everywhere for him. He was about to go through security when you finally spotted him.

 “Matt!” You called out and he turned at the sound of his name.

 Seeing you standing there brought a smile to his face and he left the line to meet you. You were nervous. You weren’t sure exactly what you were going to say or exactly how he was going to react. After your dinner the night before you weren’t expecting anything good, but you were hoping for the best. When he finally reached you, you couldn’t stop the nervous smile from spreading across your lips.

 “What are you doing here?” he asked and you nodded.

 “I needed to talk to you before you left,” you said, “I tried to catch you before you left the hotel and I missed you so here I am.”

 “Is everything ok?”

 “I sure hope so,” you smiled, “I just wanted you to know that I love you and even though what you did hurt me, I’m willing to let it go on one condition.”

 “And what’s that?” Matt asked, grinning.

 “I’m willing to let everything go if we give this another shot. I don’t want to miss out on anything else with you, Matt.”

 His smile broadened as he approached you. He let go of his bag, and it hit the ground with a thump, before pulling you toward him. You smiled at him as he cupped your face and kissed you sweetly. The kiss was something you’d been missing for the past ten years and as you kissed him you were glad that you’d listened to Sam and went to talk to him.

 “I’ve gotta get to LA,” he said when you broke apart, “but as soon as filming is done I’m getting on a plane to come home to you.”

 “Promise?” you asked.

 “Cross my heart,” he grinned.

 He kissed you one more time before getting back in the security line. As you watched him go, this time you knew he would actually be coming back.

 You were waiting at the airport terminal, fiddling with your wedding ring, butterflies in your stomach just like every other time. At this point it had been years but Matt coming home always had that effect on you, no matter how many times you’d met him there. You waited anxiously for your husband to appear near the baggage claim and watched every person who came through, just to find him.

 You smiled when you saw him, seeing him before he saw you. You watched as he grabbed his bag from baggage claim and started heading in your direction. You called out to him, unsure if he had seen you, and when he noticed you he smiled. When he finally reached you he dropped his bag and pulled you into a tight hug, kissing you soundly before he let go.

 “Ya know, every time I come back here I remember coming home to you after the reunion,” Matt smiled, a nostalgic twinkle in his eyes.

 You smiled back, placing your hand on your expanding stomach. “Yeah, but from now on you’re coming home to two of us.”

 Matt smiled, placing a hand on your stomach before kissing you. “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

[deathtonormalcy56]

The Winchester Weekly

Here we are, week 21*! There are so many wonderful fics and writers out there that deserve some love, and this is what that is for. Go check them out, leave a like or reblog, but show ‘em some appreciation. They’ve earned it.

If you have any fics of your own or know of one you want to share, please tag me in them! I’ll love to read them. You’ll know that I’ve read it or gotten your tag if I like it. (:

PSA: I will not be adding fics onto the list that are pure smut. If it is hinted at, then that it is okay, and if it is in a series works I will just skip that chapter.

*So, so sorry it’s late! Because of this, there are a ton of more fics than usual so the commentary is nonexistent.

Dean x Reader

Don’t Wanna Know by @jotink78

It’s Me, Sweetheart by @imadeangirl-butimsamcurious

Never Eating Again by @not-moose-one-shots

No Salvation by @fandommaniacx

The Hunter’s Resource by @deals-with-demons

Family by @spn-fan-girl-173

Love by @buckysmetallicstump

Memories by @meganescape

Hold Onto Me by @malachai-winchester

P.S. I’m Still Here (Pt. 3) by @deanwinchesterforpromqueen

Fort Winchester by @wheresthekillswitch 

I’ve Been Expecting You by @super100012

Haunted Mansion by @chaos-and-the-calm67

Sam x Reader

Sucked In by @jared-padaloveme

Red Balloon by @imagineteamfreewill

Not So Sure Anymore (Pt. 2) by @bloodysideofhell

Tic Tac Toe (Pt. 3) by @percywinchester27

Saving Live (Pt. 5) by @loveitsallineed

Choice to Make by @imagineteamfreewill

The Perect Fit (Pt. 7) by @blushingsamgirl

Cold Woman by @jotink78

Cas x Reader

Where’s The Fire? by @inmysparetime0

Therapy - Part of It by @tony-steve-sam-and-dean-writing

First Date by @wayward-mirage

He Was Always There by @supernotnaturalcas

In Over His Head - Epilogue by @meganlpie

Gabriel x Reader

King of Selfishness by @lacqueluster

I Win! by @lucifersagents

John x Reader

His Second Shot: Time For Me by @thegreatficmaster

RPF/OC

Heart Sutra (Pt. 2) (Jared x Reader) by @itswitchcraft-not-googlemaps

Room Service (Matt Cohen x Reader) by @ohwritever

New Beginnings (Jared x Reader) by @jalove-wecallhimdean

In Another’s Eyes (Jared x Reader) by @impalaimagining

BabyCon (Misha x pregnant!Reader) by @casbabydontgoineedyou

Boston General (Misha x Reader) by @d-s-winchester

First Impressions and Second Chances (Pt. 6) (Misha x Reader) by @ruined-by-destiel

Can We? (Jensen x Reader) by @not-moose-one-shots

Behind The Story (Pt. 20) (Jensen x Reader) by @sleepywinchester

Non-Reader Pairing/Non-Reader Works/Non-Romantic Pairing

Star Struck by @aingealcethlenn

Peace When You Are Done by @winchesterhunters67

Lazarus Rising (Destiel) by @ruined-by-destiel

How Can I Miss You? (Destiel) by @loveitsallineed

I’m Proud of You (daughter!Reader) by @winchesters-favorite-girl

Special Consultant by @revwinchester

This is Our Time by @butiaintgonnaloveem

Destructive Family by @supernatural-squadd

The King of Hell Walks Into A Church by @family-business-one-shots

[d-s-winchester]

Me & You

(gif credit to the creator)

Part Five

Master List

Pairing: Matt x Reader Word Count: 1,173 Song: I’m Like A Lawyer With The Way I’m Always Trying To Get You Off (Me & You) - Fall Out Boy Warnings: drinking, language A/N: In honor of Matt’s birthday here is the second to last part! Also, this series is completely inspired by the song above. Hope you guys like it! Anyway, feedback for this is awesome! :)

The next morning you were battling a hangover to end all hangovers. You’d made true to your promise to yourself the night before and got rip roaring drunk. When the reunion finally ended Sam had to pretty much carry you up to your room after you’d taken full advantage of the open bar.

When you woke up your mouth was dry and you immediately felt the need to get to the toilet. You groaned as you tried to get out of bed, but Sam was at your side in an instant. She handed you some aspirin and a glass filled with water and alka seltzer. You gladly accepted them and took the aspirin before downing the entire glass. It didn’t immediately help but it was enough to stop you from getting out of bed.  

“How are you feeling?” Sam asked.

“I’m going to dinner with him tonight,” you replied simply, before covering your face with a pillow, “and to think I was sober when I agreed to go.”

“Dinner with who?”

“Matt,” you groaned, “he wants to talk.”

Sam pulled the pillow off of your face and looked at you in shock. “Seriously?”

“Why would I joke about this?”

“I don’t know.”

“He’s picking me up at seven. He said he wants to talk.”

“Are you actually going to go?”

“Of course I am!” you replied, finally sitting up, “I need to. There’s a lot I need to say to him.”

“I’d say so,” Sam scoffed, “plus there’s the little matter of the fact that you’re still in love with him.”

You started to interrupt her but she stopped you. “Don’t deny it, Y/N/N. It’s been that way since he left. Why do you think you haven’t had a relationship since then? I’m glad you’re going to go, but only so you can get some closure and move on.”

“I do need closure,” you agreed.

“Damn right you do,” Sam stated, “now get up and get in the shower. We have those masages booked and once you’re all relaxed from them you’ll be ready to face him.”

When you reached the room after your massage you felt more than relaxed and ready to go to dinner with Matt. You showered and got dressed and once your hair and makeup was done you were scrutinizing your appearance in the mirror.

“You look great,” Sam assured, “he’ll be here any minute. Just relax.”

She handed you an airplane bottle of Jack Daniels and you gladly accepted it and downed the liquid quickly. You knew you needed it to calm your nerves and after finishing the small bottle you felt a little better. It was only a few more moments before you heard a knock on the door.

Sam immediately noticed the look of panic on your face. “It’s gonna be fine. I promise.”

You nodded and went to open the door. Matt was standing there, smiling, holding a bouquet of flowers. You accepted them and handed them off to Sam before turning back to Matt. You gave him a small smile and once he told you he thought you looked great he asked if you were ready to go. You nodded and made sure you had your room key on you before following him to the elevator.

You made small talk all the way to the restaurant in the hotel and once you were seated at a table an awkward silence took over. You knew spending time with him alone again would be a little awkward but you certainly weren’t expecting this. You knew him. You thought at least you’d be able to keep the conversation going but it was clear that too much time had passed and you were basically two different people than you were ten years before.

Once your order for drinks and food was placed you couldn’t take the silence anymore.

“You said you wanted to talk, so talk.”

“Not beating around the bush here, I see,” Matt chuckled.

“Nope.”

Your tone made it obvious to him that you weren’t willing to put this off. He figured you were right, it was better to get down to the nitty gritty right away and then hope the rest of the night could be salvaged.

“Ok,” Matt cleared his throat, “Listen, Y/N/N, I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life and I have some regrets. The biggest one of those things was leaving you. I was young and stupid and I made decisions that I thought were for the best at the time. Looking back on it now, I know I fucked up. I could have just given up the money on the apartment and rescheduled the auditions. I should have waited. I should have stayed with you and given you the time you needed. It wouldn’t have mattered to me if that took months or even years, I should have waited until you were ready and we could have gone on with our original plan. We could have gone to LA and built a life there. But, like I said, I was young and stupid and I thought the most important thing was my career when it should have been you. I know that this doesn’t make up for it but all I’m trying to say is that I’m sorry. I’m sorry I left, I’m sorry I didn’t come back for the funeral, I’m sorry I left you. Can you possibly forgive me?”

You considered him for a minute, slightly taken aback by his words, and noticed that he looked genuinely sorry. Your drinks being delivered then gave you a few moments to decide what you wanted to say to him.

“You left me when I needed you the most,” you pointed out, “my mother died and even though I had people there for me the one person I needed the most wasn’t there. It was like I’d lost everything that mattered most to me all at once. It took me a long time to come back from that, Matt.”

“I know,” he sighed, looking down at his drink, “and I know there’s nothing I can do to fix that.”

“You’re right, there’s not.”

“Can I at least try to make it up to you?”

“I honestly don’t see how you could,” you sighed, “when you left, you broke me, Matt...and the worst part is, I think I’m still in love with you. Or, well, who you were.”

Your words hit a nerve and Matt wasn’t sure what else he could say to you to prove how sorry he really was. He never meant to hurt you, it was the last thing on earth that he wanted to do, but he had and a part of him knew there was no coming back from that. That didn’t mean he wasn’t going to try. He loved his life and he loved his job but he would throw that all out the window for another chance with you, because if he was being honest with himself, he was still in love with you.

[d-s-winchester]

Me & You

(image not mine)

Part Three

Master List

Pairing: Matt x Reader Word Count: 1,097 Song: I’m Like A Lawyer With The Way I’m Always Trying To Get You Off (Me & You) - Fall Out Boy Warnings: drinking, language A/N: In honor of me going to NJCon tomorrow here is part 3! Also, this series is completely inspired by the song above. Hope you guys like it! Anyway, feedback for this is awesome! :)

Tearing through the clothes in your suitcase you let out a frustrated groan. Samantha was sitting on her bed in your shared room applying her makeup and looked over at you.

 “You ok?”

 “I don’t know what to wear,” you sighed, “I’ve got my outfit for the reunion tomorrow night but then they had to go and throw this cocktail party in and I didn’t plan for that. I just can’t decide between a dress or something more casual.”

 Sam sat there for a minute, thinking over what she wanted to say, before finally putting down her makeup brushes and turning to face you.

 “Would it help or hinder your decision if I told you that I saw Matt at the casino last night so I now know for a fact that he’s here.”

 You looked at her completely shocked. “You’ve known he was here since last night and you’re choosing to tell me now!?”

 “Well, I wasn’t sure how you’d react...scratch that, I knew how you would react and it was exactly like this. Forgive me for not wanting to give you a panic attack.”

 You knew Sam was right but you didn’t want to show it. Instead you let out a sigh and pulled a royal blue, floral, maxi dress from your suitcase and considered it.

 “Guess I’m going with a dress then.”

 “Good choice,” Sam nodded and went back to her makeup while you got dressed.

 Once you were dressed you had Sam help you with your hair and makeup. All you had left to do before heading down to the bar in the casino was to put on your shoes. You sat on the edge of your bed, about to slip your feet into a pair of black sandals, when your nerves got the better of you.

 “Maybe I shouldn’t go,” you said, “I mean it’s just a cocktail hour, it’s not like it’s the actual reunion.”

 Sam glared at you from her place in front of the mirror. “Do not let him being there stop you from doing this, Y/N/N. You haven’t spoken to him in ten years who gives a shit if he’s there or not, and if he is you are under no obligation to talk to him.”

 You thought about it for a second and nodded, knowing that she was right. You pulled on your shoes and grabbed your purse before looking over yourself in the mirror once more. Satisfied with your appearance you followed Sam out of the hotel room and into the elevator.

 The entire way to the casino’s bar you tried not to think about Matt. It wasn’t a secret that you got all dolled up because you thought he’d be there, but you didn’t think he’d be plaguing your mind as much as he was. As soon as you walked into the bar you found yourself searching for him, just wanting to look into his green eyes one more time, but didn’t see him anywhere. Figuring he hadn’t arrived yet you got yourself a drink and decided to mingle with Sam.

 You spent the next few hours catching up with old classmates that had shown up for the reunion early all while keeping an eye out for Matt. By the time you and Sam had decided to head back to your room you were more than disappointed, and quite frankly a little pissed, that Matt hadn’t showed up.

 “He didn’t even show up!” You exclaimed, kicking off your shoes when you entered your hotel room.

 “If I didn’t know any better I’d say you were upset,” Sam stated, sarcastically.

 “Damn right I’m upset! I got all dolled up for nothing!”

 “When are you gonna give it up, Y/N?” Sam asked, taking off her shoes, “He’s not worth it.”

 “I know that,” you sighed, “it’s just...there was no closure, ya know? He just fucking left.”

 Whether it was your emotions or the alcohol or a combination of both you weren’t sure, but you found yourself sitting on the hotel bed -- tears running down your face.

 “I know,” Sam sighed, coming to sit next to you, putting an arm around your shoulder, “but I think it’s time to let go.”

 “You’re probably right,” you sniffled, wiping the tears from your face, “I almost feel like it would be easier if he wasn’t here.”

 “That’s because it would be,” Sam offered, “but let’s not worry about him, ok? Let’s throw on our pajamas and watch a cheesy movie. Sound good?”

 You nodded and Sam stood up. The two of you washed off your makeup and got into your pajamas before settling on your beds and putting on an old romantic comedy. Before the movie was even halfway over you were both fast asleep.

 Matt had wanted to attend the pre-reunion cocktail party, just for another chance to see you, but his commitment to the convention he was also in town for prevented him from doing so. At first he wasn’t even sure he was going to be able to attend the reunion, but after lengthy conversations with the right people he was able to finagle getting that night off.

 In truth he hadn’t wanted to go to the reunion at all, the only reason he’d RSVPed yes was because he’d hoped he would run into you. He’d all but changed his mind about going until he’d seen you in the casino the night before. Now knowing for sure that you would be there he was finding himself more and more nervous about the event itself.

 He generally wasn’t a nervous person when it came to things like that but after seeing you in the casino he had made the decision that he would talk to you at the reunion and that made him more nervous than what he was about to do -- go on  stage and sing for the concert his convention was putting on -- in fact, it had him more nervous than he had ever been in his life.

 He tried to push his nerves about seeing you again aside as he made his way on stage but nothing seemed to be working. All he kept doing was playing over his last moments with you over and over again in his mind. As he grabbed the microphone he decided to channel his nerves into his performance and as he sang he felt the nerves slipping away. He realized he didn’t have to be nervous about seeing you until tomorrow and he held on to that as he finished his convention obligations for that evening.

[d-s-winchester]

Me & You

(gif credit to the creator)

Part Two

Master List

Pairing: Matt x Reader Word Count: 1,111 Song: I’m Like A Lawyer With The Way I’m Always Trying To Get You Off (Me & You) - Fall Out Boy Warnings: drinking, language (probably), gambling A/N: Part two is here my loves!! I’m really loving this series and I hope you are too! Also, this series is completely inspired by the song above. Hope you guys like it! Anyway, feedback for this is awesome! :)

Tired was an understatement for how you were feeling when you got home that day. Work had kicked your ass and you were more than ready to eat the leftover takeout in your fridge, have a drink and relax. When you walked up to your front door you grabbed the mail from the mailbox before unlocking the door and walking inside. Once the door was locked behind you, you kicked off your shoes and set your purse and keys down on the small table next to the front door.

 You sorted through the mail as you walked into the kitchen and once you reached the counter reached an envelope that caught your eye. You set the rest of the mail down on the counter and ripped open the envelope. As soon as you looked at the invitation inside you knew what it was for. You couldn’t believe it had been ten years already but the heavy card stock in your hand proved it -- it had indeed been ten years since you’d graduated high school.

 You were sure not much had changed for anyone. You still lived in your hometown and spent time with some of your high school friends, but that didn’t mean you weren’t curious about what the people you hadn’t seen were up to. Sticking the invitation to the fridge with a magnet, you looked for a pen and filled out the RSVP card -- stating that you would be in attendance -- and went to place the pre-stamped envelope back in your mailbox.

 Suddenly not feeling like you wanted to hang out at home you called your best friend, Samantha, and asked her if she wanted to go out for drinks. She agreed that she would meet you in an hour and you rushed upstairs to change out of your work clothes. You were walking into the bar an hour later and saw Samantha sitting at the bar ordering a drink. You made your way toward her and sat down on the empty barstool next to her. You said your hellos and ordered yourself a drink.

 “So what brought this spur of the moment girls night on?” Sam asked as the bartender went to get your drinks.

 “Got the ten year reunion invitation today,” you chuckled.

 Sam let out a chuckle as well and nodded as the bartender brought your drinks. “I did too. Crazy that it’s been ten years.”

 “I know, but then again what’s ten years to us?”

 “Nothing, we’ve been friends for what? Twenty years now?”

 “Something like that,” you laughed, taking a sip of your drink.

 You sat there reminiscing for a while and wondering what your former classmates were up to before you mentioned what was weighing on your mind since you’d gotten the invitation.

 “You don’t think he’ll be there do you?”

 Sam let out a sigh, “Honestly, Y/N/N, I’m not sure. His acting has been keeping him busy from what I’ve heard. Doubt he’ll have time for something as silly as a high school reunion.”

 You nodded and took a sip of your beer. “Yeah, that makes sense.”

 “Don’t let it bother you, I know you’re overthinking it now but you can’t let him ruin your weekend. I mean, it’s gonna be in Vegas we need to have fun!”

 “You’re so right about that!” you agreed.

 You clinked your glasses together and finished off your drinks before ordering another round. You spent another few hours at the bar before deciding to head home and go to bed. The entire night had you tossing and turning, however, thoughts of being reunited with Matt clouding your mind.

 The reunion was rapidly approaching and that meant you were running out of time to find something to wear to the actual event. Samantha was in need of something as well so a few days before your flight left you headed to the mall to find something to wear.

 “Stop thinking about it,” Sam demanded as she looked through the racks in Nordstrom.

 “I didn’t say anything!”

 “I can tell by the look on your face that you’re still wondering about Matt,” she replied, “don’t. Let’s just find some nice outfits and worry about it if it actually happens, ok? Cause I love you but I want to enjoy this weekend and not spend it worrying about you and your mental state. Fair?”

 “Fair.” you nodded, knowing she was right.

 You spent some more time perusing the racks before finding something to wear along with a few other things. Once you left the mall you and Sam made plans to meet at the airport a few days later and you made your way home.

 The next few days seemed to fly by and before you knew it you were meeting Sam at the airport. Getting through security was a pain, as always, but once you made it on the plane the flight was breeze. You landed in Vegas a few hours later, and after marvelling at the fact that there were slot machines in the airport, headed toward the hotel.

 The hotel that was booked for the reunion guests was gorgeous, nothing like anything you’d ever stayed in before, and you were excited to be there. Both you and Sam got settled in your shared room before deciding to wander around the casino in the hotel you were staying in. The following evening was the reunion but that night was basically a free for all. If you ran into former classmates then so be it.

 Both you and Samantha decided that the night was best spent gambling and just having a good time. As you were repeatedly winning on the roulette table Matt didn’t cross your mind once, but that didn’t mean you hadn’t crossed his. While you were focused on the roulette table you didn’t notice that he was just a few feet away playing the slots, his eyes on you the entire time.

 Matt wasn’t sure how he felt about watching you from afar but he knew it was the best course of action at that moment. He hadn’t talked to you in going on ten years but that didn’t mean he hadn’t thought about you. In fact he thought about you every single day. Over the last ten years he wondered how he could have fixed things between you and he’d come up with hundreds of reasons, but when you stopped calling he knew he needed to give you space. Deciding not to worry about it until the reunion two nights later he placed another coin in the slot machine and started to think of ways that he could get you back.

[d-s-winchester]

She Paints Me Blue

(gif credit to the creator)

Prompt: “You don’t do it on purpose but you make me shake” & “I think I’m on the edge of something new with you.” ; “You know you’re in love with her, right?” “Since when?” “Since pretty much always, that’s why I’m breaking up with you.” Pairing: Matt x Reader Word Count: 1,225 Song: She Paints Me Blue - Something Corporate Warnings: none? A/N: I some how managed to fit three challenges into this fic, go me! It is for Nicole’s (aka @iwantthedean) SoCo Summer Writing Challenge, Ang’s (aka @atc74​) 2k Celebration Gif Challenge, and this round of Break the Zone. Nicole’s prompt is italicized above, Ang’s gif prompt is inserted in the fic, and the BTZ prompt is bolded above. Anyway, feedback for this is awesome! :)

The hustle and bustle of a convention was always something Matt loved. He loved interacting with the fans, hanging out with his friends, and singing at Karaoke and SNS. All in all convention weekends were his favorite weekends. What made this weekend better was that he was able to bring his girlfriend of a few weeks, Kate, with him. It was the first time she was really going to be meeting most of his friends and he was thrilled.

 They arrived at the hotel in Atlanta, that the convention was being held at, early Friday morning. Once Matt’s handler picked them up from the airport and they’d checked into their hotel room Matt was eager to introduce Kate to his friends. The introductions went well and it seemed like everyone seemed to like Kate which had Matt more than relieved, she would have to spend time with them while he was on stage after all.

 By the time Friday’s convention events had ended it seemed like Kate was really fitting in and Matt had yet another enjoyable day at work. When they were back in their room that night Matt explained to her what to expect for the next day of the convention and she seemed almost as excited as he was for it. After watching a movie they both fell asleep, neither one aware of all the changes that would be happening the following day.

 Saturday morning went the same as Friday morning had. After they had breakfast, Matt’s handler lead them down to the green room, and that’s when everything changed. He saw you before you saw him. You were standing on the opposite side of the green room, laughing with Kim and Brianna, and he couldn’t help but smile at the sight of you.

 “C’mon, there’s someone I want you to meet,” Matt said to Kate, grabbing her hand and leading her across the room.

 When he reached you he let go of Kate’s hand and went up behind you, putting his hands over your eyes.

 “Guess who,” he whispered in your ear.

 You shrieked and spun around on the spot, grinning from ear to ear when you saw him.

 “Matty!” You exclaimed, excitedly, throwing your arms around his neck in a tight hug.

 He hugged you just as fiercely.

 “I didn’t know you were going to be here!” he said when he finally let you go.

 “No one did, it was purposely kept a surprise,” you smiled, “they didn’t want it to get out that they were having both Mary Winchesters here this weekend. Figured it would be exciting for the fans.”

 “Well if it’s not exciting for them, it definitely is for me,” he grinned.

 Kate clearing her throat brought you both back to reality and Matt introduced you to Kate. You seemed to hit it off and talked for a few minutes before both yours and Matt’s handlers came to get you to do your first panel of the day.

 As you and Matt did your panel Kate watched from the sidelines. She noticed how the two of you acted around each other and she knew that it was something she couldn’t compete with. She tried to push the thoughts from her mind as the day progressed but seeing how Matt interacted with you made her realize that her initial assumption was correct. Kate knew she needed to talk to Matt but there simply was no down time and when there was he was attached to your hip.

 Kate’s chance to talk to Matt finally came while you were doing photo ops. She pulled him away from a conversation with Osric and Misha and took a deep breath.

 “Everything ok?” he asked.

 “Yeah, it’s just I’ve been watching you with Y/N all day…”

 “And?”

 “You know you’re in love with her, right?” Kate asked.

 Matt looked at her puzzled. “Since when?”

 “Since pretty much always, I’m sure,” Kate sighed, “that’s why I’m breaking up with you.”

 Matt’s eyes went wide. “You’re what?”

 “I’m breaking up with you,” Kate said, giving him a small smile, “it’s ok, Matt, it really is. I know you’re in love with her and I think it’s about time you realized it. What we had going was great, but I’m not gonna stand in your way of being happy.”

 Matt considered her for a moment and nodded.

 “You’re right,” he sighed, “I don’t know why it took me so long to figure it out.”

 “It’s a guy thing,” Kate chuckled.

 “Just do me one favor,” Matt said, “don’t tell anyone, ok? I need to figure out how to deal with this.”

 “I won’t tell a soul, although I think they already know.”

Matt smiled before putting his finger to his lips, like he was shushing her, reminding her not to say anything. She laughed and went up on her tiptoes to kiss his cheek. She made him promise he would say something to you before the weekend was over and left the green room, ready to pack her things and catch a plane home.

 Matt spent the rest of the day trying to figure out a way to tell you how he was feeling. It wasn’t easy and he felt like he couldn’t just come out and say it. A few hours before SNS started he finally came up with a solution. As he took the stage to sing his song he made sure you were standing off to the side, watching. The music played and he started singing, earning cheers from the crowd, he hadn’t looked at you but he knew you were watching him.

 When he reached the chorus of the song he finally chanced a look at you.

 “And you’re my, good feeling, I’m kneeling inside a room she paints me blue,” he sang, staring at you.

 Your eyes went wide as the realization of what he was saying hit you like a ton of bricks. When he finally finished the song and went to exit the stage he was heading right for you. Panicking, not entirely sure what to make of the situation, you tried to make it back to the green room before he caught up with you.

 You weren’t fast enough. He caught up to you with ease and grabbed your arm gently, turning you to face him.

 “Why are you running?” he asked.

 “You don’t do it on purpose, but you make me shake,” you replied, a blush painting your cheeks.

 Matt smiled as he walked toward you; your back found the wall and he set his hand right next to your face. “I think I’m on the edge of something new with you.”

 “Yeah?” you whispered, your voice giving away your sudden dry mouth. “What’s that?”

 “Telling you the truth,” Matt said, letting his hand fall from the wall to caress your cheek. “I’m in love with you. Kate left and I sang that song because I’m in love with you. I can’t hold it back from you any longer -- tell me I’m not making a stupid mistake and ruining everything.”

 You let out a slow breath, then shook your head. “No, Matt, you couldn’t possibly ruin anything.”

 His hand cupped your cheek as the two of you pressed your lips together in a sweet, soft kiss that had been far too long in the making.