#matchmaker!dum-e

[kandisheek]

FIC REC WEEK 34 – TONY AND THE BOTS

Run Program: DUM-E by Amuly

Pairing: Steve/Tony Rating: M Words: 11,223 Tags: Developing Relationship, Humor, Hurt/Comfort

Summary: Taking care of Tony is a lot of work. Especially when you’ve only got one arm. And your code dates back to the 1980s.

Reasons why I love it: Okay, first of all, the story format? Perfection. Choosing DUM-E's logs as a narrative device is goddamn genius – it's so much fun to watch the plot unfold through his eyes. And Steve bonding with DUM-E is just about the cutest thing I've ever read, I love it so much. Definitely read this one if you haven't, because you're missing out!

Arms And The Man by copperbadge

Pairing: Steve/Tony Rating: E Words: 14,503 Tags: First Time, Coming Out, Mentions of PTSD

Summary: His best friend keeps cockblocking him, his relationship guru is a computer, and he might be gay. The future is very complicated.

Reasons why I love it: copperbadge always gets Steve and Tony's voices down pat, and this fic is no exception. I love all of the interactions between Steve and JARVIS, the trust that Steve places in him makes me so happy. Plus, the way that Steve and Tony's relationship develops is superb. I love this one, and I bet you will too!

The Multidimensional Oven by withasideofangst

Pairing: Gen Rating: G Words: 2,237 Tags: Bot-Napping, Fluff and Crack, Friendly Alien Invasion

Summary: “Oh, Tony, when you get a chance, Thor said something weird is going on with the oven, he says things keep disappearing into it. I told him it was probably just Barton again, but -” “I told you, I only did that once!” Barton cut off Steve.

Reasons why I love it: This is one of those fics that makes me laugh out loud, no matter how many times I've read it before. The whole premise is comedy gold, and withasideofangst's writing just takes it to the next level. I love this one, and I really hope you check it out for yourself!

Silver Linings by incarus_chained

Pairing: Gen Rating: M Words: 2,869 Tags: Avengers Family, Violence, Protectiveness

Summary: When Tony is pinned down, armourless, in a workshop during an assault on Stark/Avengers Tower, Clint is meant to be the cavalry. When he arrives, though, he finds that the enemy may have picked the wrong workshop to try and take Tony in. JARVIS, it turns out, really doesn't take prisoners.

Reasons why I love it: Let this fic be a lesson to all bad guys in the world - you shoot Dum-E, you're toast. I love Clint's perspective in this, because yeah, his fear is totally warranted, but he also understands Tony's and JARVIS’ actions on a level that others wouldn't have. This fic is amazing, and you should definitely read it!

Rom-Commed By Fate (Or JARVIS) by leashy_bebes

Pairing: Steve/Tony Rating: E Words: 14,387 Tags: Fluff and Humor, Cock-Blocking, Matchmaker JARVIS

Summary: The best thing about being an Artificial Intelligence is the ability to parse, filter and modify the things people say until you've got the cause to do exactly what you wanted in the first place. Or, in which JARVIS cock blocks Tony into having an actual relationship.

Reasons why I love it: JARVIS is a troll and a schemer, and I love him for both of those facts. I'm always a huge fan of sneaky JARVIS, and this fic is a prime example of why, it's just so much fun to watch the mayhem unfold. And the smut in this one is impeccable. I love this fic so much, and I really hope you give it a shot for yourself!

[deehellcat]

Tony Stark Bingo Mark VII Masterpost!

all done! posting the final count for my blackout badge in @tonystarkbingo.

S1—kink: held down –Trust, Embodied, chapter 2. https://archiveofourown.org/works/53154721/chapters/134497288

S2—DUM-E—When Matchmakers Attack, chapter 2. https://archiveofourown.org/works/53066173/chapters/134261038

S3—forcibly adopted— surpassing things we’ve known before, chapter 2 https://archiveofourown.org/works/52011907/chapters/131531194

S4—Picture of Pepper and Iron Man suit—Trust, Embodied, chapter 1. https://archiveofourown.org/works/53154721/chapters/134496550

S5—canon divergent/nobody dies—The Obvious and In Betweens, chapter 1. https://archiveofourown.org/works/53411896/chapters/135187480

T1—Stony—When Matchmakers Attack, chapter 1. https://archiveofourown.org/works/53066173/chapters/134260444

T2—present tense—I Must Admit, I Can’t Explain. https://archiveofourown.org/works/52732039

T3—adopted prompt 1980s au (subbed for DUM-E)—Just Gonna Change the World https://archiveofourown.org/works/49994290

T4—body modification—Wee Dragon Tony https://deehellcat.tumblr.com/post/728267075201744896/i-love-stretching-tonystarkbingo-prompts-d-in  

T5—hurt/comfort— surpassing things we’ve known before, chapter 1 https://archiveofourown.org/works/52011907/chapters/131530381

A1—going on vacation together—The Obvious and In-Betweens, chapter 3. https://archiveofourown.org/works/53411896/chapters/135188488

A2—time travel to the past— surpassing things we’ve known before, chapter 3 https://archiveofourown.org/works/52011907/chapters/131531665

A3—FREE—Love Is A Fruit https://deehellcat.tumblr.com/post/733366682468384768/well-that-went-quickly-lolol-i-present-the

A4—Quarantined—The Obvious and In-Betweens, chapter 2. https://archiveofourown.org/works/53411896/chapters/135187948

A5—tonynat— A Timeline of my Life https://deehellcat.tumblr.com/post/728848689903386624/another-moodboard-for-tonystarkbingo-this-time

R1—abducted—all eyes on you, my magician (all eyes on us) https://archiveofourown.org/works/51236866

R2—billionaire—In Season At All Times https://archiveofourown.org/works/51434401  

R3—anthropomor-fic—A World Where People Like Me Don't Have To Hide https://www.tumblr.com/deehellcat/724212640575045632/my-first-moodboard-and-my-first-fill-for-tony

R4—new team—Esprit de Corps https://archiveofourown.org/works/51380359

R5—dirty talk—When Matchmakers Attack, chapter 3. https://archiveofourown.org/works/53066173/chapters/134261821

K1—mafia au—They Know When to Jump https://www.tumblr.com/deehellcat/724237784386289664/now-that-ive-discovered-the-dark-art-of-making

K2—sokovia—An Impression So Deep, chapter 1. https://archiveofourown.org/works/49668364 K3—ironstrange—Broken Shadows https://archiveofourown.org/works/51060175

K4—apology—An Impression So Deep, chapter 2. https://archiveofourown.org/works/49668364/chapters/125362726

K5—‘let me do it’—Nine Lives https://archiveofourown.org/works/48967366

[menatiera]

Arboreal: Anima moodboard

This fic was everything you could ask for in a oneshot. It has soul, it has wit, it has fluff, it has humor. It’s like having a cup of hot cocoa while you’re bundled up in blankets and a kitten is playing in your lap. Highly recommended for everyone who needs a Winteriron meet-cute with an adorable DUM-E in the focus! <3

Arboreal won three moodboards from me in MTH, and she asked me to pick from her fics. This is the first one of the three! @marveltrumpshate​

I also got premission to make it a bingo fill, so Tony Stark Bingo fill for square T4 - Mad science. @tonystarkbingo​ the fill description is under the cut :)

@arboreal-elm-ash-oak I hope you like it! ^^

Title: Arboreal: Anima moodboard Collaborator Name: Menatiera Card Number: 3109 Link: https://menatiera.tumblr.com/post/190554508478/arboreal-anima-moodboard Square Filled: T4 - Mad science Ship/Main Pairing: Winteriron Rating: G (both fic and moodboard) Major Tags: Fluff, Magical realism, Modern!Bucky, Alternate universe, matchmaker!Dum-E Summary: Moodboard for the fic Anima by Arboreal. Fic summary: Bucky had always been able to hear the voices of the things around him.

[rebelmeg]

Bot Shaming - Part 8

For my @pepperonybingo​ square B5 - cupid bots!

Title: Bot Shaming - Part 8: Cupid Bots Collaborator: rebelmeg Square Filled: B5 - cupid bots Ship: Pepperony Rating: Gen Major Tags: bot shaming, moodboard/social media post, cupid bots Summary: Tony adds another post to his social media account, this time revealing the outcome of some romantic exploits of his metal children.

[lbibliophile-mcu]

Just Apply STE-V

For: @winterirondiscord​ Dum-E Appreciation Hebdomad 2020 - day 4: word day @tonystarkbingo​ - 3096 - T3: matchmaker (fill details below cut)

Also on AO3

-----

Something is wrong with TON-E.

TON-E is in the workshop, at his workbench, but he’s not working.

TON-E sighs and makes a frowny face. TON-E is sad?

Sad!Tony needs fixing. How?

STE-V makes sad!TON-E happy 60% of the time. 40% of the time, STE-V makes sad!TON-E angry… but still not sad.

Wait. TON-E is fiddling with STE-V’s damaged glove. Ahh, TON-E is not just sad, TON-E is pining.

TON-E needs STE-V!

 --

Something is wrong with STE-V

STE-V is in his drawing-room, with his drawing pad, but he’s not drawing.

STE-V sighs and makes a frowny face. STE-V is sad?

Sad!STE-V needs fixing. How?

Sad!TON-E and sad!STE-V makes not-sad 30% of the time. 70% of the time, they make angry and/or more-sad. Not acceptable.

Wait. STE-V is looking at sketch of TON-E. Ahh, STE-V is not just sad, STE-V is pining.

STE-V needs TON-E!

 --

Pining!TON-E and pining!STE-V can make more-sad, angry, embarrassed, frustrated, more-pining, not-sad, flustered, shy, happy, excited, enthusiastic, very-happy…

(Pining!TON-E and pining!STE-V can make spectators exasperated, fond, amused…)

Worth a try..

Hi Dum-e. I’m not really in the mood to play right no- hey! Dum-e, put me down! What… where are you taking me? Don’t you da-

Hey Dum-e I wondered where you’d gon- Steve?! What are you doing here?

I don’t know, ask him!

Deliver Pining!STE-V to pining!TON-E: success.

 --

Well, while you’re here… look, I didn’t mean to yell earlier. It was just… I know you were relying on me to shut down those robots, but you were in trouble and I almost didn’t get there in time.

Nono, you were right, I do trust you to know your abilities. And what I should have said was ‘thank you’. But when I saw you take the hit… and you took so long to get up again…

I guess that’s one of the risks of the job. One of the reasons why I run around in a reinforced gold-titanium suit of armour; not spangly lycra like some people.

Hey that’s a breaking-edge, precision formulated, armoured kevlar-lycra blend!

Yeah, thanks to yours truly. Without me, you’d still be running around in nothing more protective than tights and a onesie.

Ah, so you changed the fabric but not the fit?

Well you seem to enjoy showing off so much…

Fix sad!TON-E and sad!STE-V: success

Hey, the others ordered post-mission Thai but I wasn’t really interested, so… wanna go get pizza?

You know what? Sure.

Fix pining!TON-E and pining!STE-V: TBD

Title of Piece: Just Apply STE-V Card Number: 3096 Collaborator(s): LBibliophile Link: AO3 Square Filled:T3: matchmaker Ship/Main Pairing: Tony Stark/Steve Rogers Rating: Gen Major Tags/Warnings: Mutual pining, developing relationship, DUM-E ships it Word Count: 425 Summary: When TON-E is sad, DUM-E finds ways to cheer him up. When TON-E is pining, DUM-E finds him STE-V. (Steve would rather prefer to have been consulted on this before being 'delivered'.)

[winterironficrecs]

A Bot’s Work is Never Done, by ali_aliska

Words: 5,653

Status: Completed

Summary: DUM-E has decided that PAPA TON-E needs to smile more often, which means DUM-E might have to run over a few feet, make better smoothies, and decide who brings PAPA TON-E the most JOY (the current answer - FRIEND BUCK-E).

Not to worry because DUM-E is the bot for the job (even if it means locking his favorite humans in the SERVER ROOM until they stop fighting).

[anthonyed]

day 6 for @stonyweek : bots as matchmakers (Ao3)

One of the cleaning bots likes Steve, it’s no big deal.

“It’s a crush, sir,” JARVIS insists and Tony’s ready to mock but there’s a sharp conscience which bites, saying he might offend the entire robotic field with his quip so he shuts up.

“How bad is it?” he asks instead. 

There’s a pause and a vague, “Not too bad. She’s very caring for the Captain’s wellbeing,” is all JARVIS says.

-

One morning, Tony stumbles into the kitchen after an all nighter to the peculiar sight of a cleaning bot propped on the kitchen counter, near the coffee machine. 

When he reaches to pick up the bot, Steve stops him with a hand to his elbow, and he secretly shares that, “She’s making me a coffee, give her a minute.”

Tony gawks when the bot does exactly that; sliding out an inlet to fetch the filled cup, and it buzzes its way across the counter to where Steve stands, flipping pancakes. Steve thanks her with an affectionate pet and she whirs in excitement.

Later in the workshop, he stares at various footage of the bot interacting with Steve and comments numbly, “You said it wasn’t bad.”

JARVIS says nothing, but Tony imagines the smug expression to his codes, anyway.

He freezes a particular footage and expands it, “You said it wasn’t bad,” he repeats with added weight. The image of the bot resting atop of Steve’s chest while he sleeps stares back. 

“Indeed, Sir,” JARVIS replies, “It’s not bad at all. The Captain seems to suffer fewer night terrors in Miss Clean’s presence.”

“Miss Clean.”

“Yes, Sir. The Captain thought it would be proper to name her.”

“Do you even know what you’re doing now? Tony bristles. “You’re encouraging his relationship with a bot. Stop encouraging his relationship with a bot.”

JARVIS’s answer is a flat, “I don’t know how that is wrong, Sir. According to my readings, Miss Clean and the Captain’s relationship is no difference from ours.” Then, in a more clipped tone, he adds, “I suspect you’re just jealous. Sir.”

Tony mutes him.

-

It’s eerie. Wherever Steve goes, Miss Clean goes; like a duckling imprinted on its mother. Where Steve sits, she’s there; whether next to him or by his feet. Tony has to mind her when he claims his usual seat next to Steve during movie nights. Sometimes, she’s in the middle, her round curve buzzing and poking at Tony’s hip; keeping him away from sliding closer to Steve.

No. He’s not jealous. 

She sleeps in Steve’s room, on his bed and she’s probably seen Steve naked more than JARVIS at this rate. No, Tony is definitely not jealous of a cleaning bot.

-

“I want one,” Clint says longingly one afternoon. Watching Miss Clean putter around the kitchen trying to help while Steve makes sandwiches for lunch. 

-

“I’m just saying,” Tony hiccups, “I can dismantle her right now.” The wrench in his hand is a warning. 

DUM-E steals it from him, whirring away with loud beeps. Tony’s too drunk for a roundabout chase so he slides to the floor, elbows on knees and head in hands. 

Another hiccup.

“If I may, Sir,” JARVIS speaks softly, courtesy of his excellent coding. “You should have accepted the Captain’s proposal.”

Tony snorts, breaking into a maniacal laughter and he falls on his back; cool linoleum like a shock to his system, an instant sobering agent. JARVIS makes it sound like a marriage proposal when it was just Steve asking him out for a date. And Tony said, no.

“You know why, J,” he sighs, staring at the stark white ceiling above him. 

JARVIS doesn’t pause, “Because you believe he deserves better, Sir.”

“I do.”

A weighted pause. “But he’s substituted you with Miss Clean instead.”

Tony blinks. JARVIS is not wrong. But, “I can dismantle her right now.”

-

Inherently, Tony thinks while lying on his king sized bed recovering from an appropriately king sized hangover, it’s JARVIS who controls all the bots in the tower.

-

Two days later, Steve’s in the workshop discussing upgrades with Tony while Miss Clean and DUM-E whiz around playing chase. Or so Tony thinks until Miss Clean weaves dangerously in between Steve’s feet, tripping him into Tony.

Tony catches him - of course he does - and then he realises that he’s got an armful of Steve without their usual armours in between them; bare skin touching at some places and Steve’s warm and heavy. Tony can both hear and feel him breathing and it’s so surreal that he aches when Steve pulls away. 

“Sorry,” he blushes prettily. 

Tony scratches his head and waves it off, “No problem.”

-

“You planned it didn’t you?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Sir.”

-

It keeps happening.

Tony sits next to Steve during their movie night. Miss Clean whirs away from her spot in between them and falls off of the couch, settling snuggly between their feet instead.

Steve has a nightmare one night. Tony wakes up to a frantic Miss Clean climbing up his legs, JARVIS explaining that she’d come to fetch him to help Steve.

Tony upgrades her; adds tiny arms so she could hold things. Steve comes running, thought he’d lost Miss Clean and when he sees her on Tony’s lap, chirruping happily after a successful test run, he kisses Tony’s cheek and thanks him.

-

“JARVIS,” Tony says one day, “I know what you’re doing.”

“Are you going to say yes, Sir?”

Tony thinks about it. He still believes that Steve deserves better, but then there’s Steve, happy to be with just Tony. Smiles and laughs like Tony’s the best thing that has ever happened to him. Looks at him like he’s both stars and the moon and Tony loves him. Of course, he does. 

It’s why he thinks Steve deserves better after all.

“I don’t know,” he shrugs, “Maybe.”

-

“JARVIS said you called,” Steve walks in, Miss Clean in tow, speed crashing into DUM-E who beeps fondly at her. 

Steve’s gaze follows them, Tony’s too, and both of them noticed it at the same time, which is as horrifying as it is shocking. 

There’s a bouquet in DUM-E claw; of red roses, blue hydrangeas, and white baby breaths which Steve accepts mechanically when handed over. He looks at Tony, stunned.

Tony doesn’t know what it is, didn’t remember planning this, but he has an inkling who did and he puts his trust in them. “Go on,” he croaks nervously, “Read it.”

Steve does, out aloud, “Dear Steve, if you don’t mind, please ask me out on a date again. I’d like to say, yes.”

“Is that right?” His blue eyes a wide, disbelief and pure delight brimming in abundance. 

Tony puts down the welding torch before he walks over and pulls Steve into a deep kiss. Both Miss Clean and DUM-E chirrupping excitedly in the background and Tony presses a smatter of yesses all over Steve’s laughing face. 

-

“Are you happy now?” Tony asks, rolling over onto his back, smiling at the distant sound of the shower running; a reminder of who’s in there. 

JARVIS response is a curious question, “Are you, Sir?”

“I am,” Tony answers easily, “Very much so.”

“Glad to hear, Sir.” Obviously he is, that meddling little creation of his. 

Tony shakes his head, fond and he doesn’t forget to say, “Thank you, JARVIS.”

[storybrookeofold]

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Lawrence

Eli La Bouff

Tangled:

Rapunzel

Eugene/Flynn Ryder

Mother Gothel

Max

Pascal

The Stabbington Brothers

Brave:

Merida

Queen Elinor

King Fergus

The Witch

Harris, Hubert, Hamish

Angus

Maudie

MacGuffin’s

Macintosh’s

Dingwall’s

Wreck it Ralph:

Wreck-it Ralph

Vanellope von Schweetz

Fix-it Felix

Sergeant Calhoun

King Candy

The Racers

Shank

Yesss

Frozen:

Anna

Elsa

Kristoff

Hans

Sven

Olaf

Oaken

Honeymaren

Yelana

Lieutenant Mattias

Big Hero Six:

Hiro

Baymax

GoGo

Wasabi

Honey Lemon

Fred

Aunt Cass

Professer Callaghan

Inside Out:

Joy

Sadness

Anger

Fear

Disgust

Riley

Bing Bong

Zootopia:

Judy Hopps

Nick Wilde

Chief Bogo

Dawn Bellweather

Clawhauser

Mayor Lionheart

Gazelle

Moana:

Moana

Maui

Tamatoa

Hei Hei

Gramma Tala

Te Fiti

Chief Tui

Coco:

Miguel

Hector

Mama Coco

Ernesto de la cruz

Mama Imelda Rivera

Raya and the Last Dragon:

Raya

Sisu

[aw-eather]

Heather Watched the Extended Threads.

As if I haven’t already had a bad morning, lets emotionally torture ourselves shall we. Here is my running commentary:

Under a read more cause it was 8 pages of notes. 

That Previously On just shows that the main point of this episode is to get Sam and Jack together so if y’all don’t think they’re together after this, I have some news for you.

Gucci Douchebag making an appearance in the Previously On is not my idea of fun

JACOB I MISS YOU I AM ALREDY CRYING GOD HELP ME

Alright the episode has started with KERRY JOHNSON LOVE OF MY LIFE

Sam, you can’t be jealous, you’re literally MARRYING ANOTHER MAN.

Lol Jack you moron as if Daniel would walk through the door right now.

Sam is glaring at you funny just fyi.

But he’s right, Daniel is just waiting for y’all to be nice about him.

Oma I would like to order a plate of fucks to give about Daniel’s story at this point

Teal’c of the Tau’ri is a cute title I love that man

Aww I feel so proud of Teal’c.

FUCK OFF PETE

JAAACOOOB

Pete is so cringy

Jacob let Jack call him Dad once.. Pete has to wait until after marriage.

This is awkward as fuck

Pete you are so insensitive,

Jacob hates him. Same honestly.

You can tell he hates him tho, he’s not hiding it. My partners mum did a better job and she’s homophobic.

Sam is SO NOT in love with this guy

Oma being cryptic, checks out

Anubis makes me wanna punch someone.

This episode is really just tying up loose threads (probably hence the title) but its nice to know Pete is considered a loose thread 😊

Teal’c having to decide between the Jaffa and the Tau’ri is sad

Agh the newspaper and Daniel finding out about plans is an aggravating storyline

“I’m gonna marry him” reads the same as “Dad, I am happy”. Honey who are you trying to convince??? We don’t believe you.

“I know how happy he makes you” *Cut to Sam who looks nonchalant* *cut to Jacob who knows exactly what he’s doing and what he’s doing is attempting to stop her marrying Gucci Doucebag*

Selmak isn’t alive to make that call Jacob stop lying

I’M GONNA CRY AGAIN

She is really thinking about this. Like she looks like she’s second guessing herself constantly.

KERRY

JACK

KERRY AND JACK

JACK AND KERRY

WAKING UP TOGETHER

OH I LOVE THEM SO MUCH!

I love how soft and tender he is with her, I imagine he’d be the same with Sam.

I love how he cuddles her and kisses her and plays with her hair and that hand on her face I--- *insert heart eyes*

I just really love them so much I wish we got more of soft, boyfriend Jack

Trouble in Jaffa land lol

I think he did really like her though.

Anyway back to Half Ascended!Daniel

Oma ya shouldn’t have helped the first two times, that’s the fucking problem babe

I literally do not give a shit about Daniel, I’m sorry. I really try but I can’t

OH NO THE PHONE CALL SCENE

She is SO sick of Gucci Douchebag

I can’t believe he called her at WORK over FLOWERS

AND SAYING ITS URGENT FUCK SAKE

I love Peter in the back

Jack watching her

Jacob is playing matchmaker so hard I fucking love him

Sam’s face tho is sooooo funny LIKE DAD SHUT UP WE DON’T MENTION THIS IN FRONT OF MY CO

Oh the little sigh he does before telling her to go pick flowers I can’t handle that man, he’s so heartbroken its like a lost puppy

Jack smiles but his eyes say oh yeah, I lost her and she’s happy with someone else now. PLOT TWIST: she’s miserable

Sam looks hurt because she still loves Jack

FUCK ME IT HURTS THEY DESERVED MORE

Jacob don’t play dumb babe, we know what you’re trying to do

Oh she MAD MAD at Dad

Why is it ok to break some rules and not others, you ask? Because y’all are white and can get away with it?

Oma just stop helping people. You don’t need to help them, just stop. I don’t want to be an ascended being y’all suck

Chocolate or vanilla like go HOME WE DON’T WANT YOU HERE

Sam shaking her head no about getting blown up by aliens is so cute I love her so much

This feels like friends talking

Or like these two people I know who claim they’re in love but its always soooo awkward around them.

Generally speaking that’s my type like you haven’t had two alien boyfriends in the last 8 years babe

“I have a surprise for you” YOU BOUGHT A FUCKING HOUSE WITHOUT TELLING HER YOU CRETIN

THAT’S NOT A SURPRISE THAT’S CONTROLLING AND WEIRD

I hate that she looks happy. Don’t get me wrong I want her happy, I really do. And as much as I’m sure she loved Pete, she wasn’t in love with him. But I suppose she was happy for the first time with some one she could have… feelings are complicated, best not to have them honestly.

Jack has really long eyelashes. Just an observation.

That’s a lotta sugar, Danny boy. And Its not gonna make you any sweeter, I promise.

I love that he took the cup with him like he’s gonna drink it with THAT much sugar in it

Exposition, exposition, exposition.

Go away Anubis ya pain In the arse.

Oh the HOUSE

Have I said how much I hate that outfit cause I hate that outfit

It is a beautiful house to be fair but like…

Look at the PANIC in her eyes

I already have a problem with how they got engaged and the fact they stayed together after he STALKED HER.

Pete’s ability to control a situation and guilt trip her (literally he ran away and had her investigated by the FBI when she wouldn’t tell him about her work) reminds me of my ex. Which is probably why I hate him so damn much.

THE DECK SCENE

HER LOOKING AT HIS HOUSE

THE MUSIC

HE LOOKS GOOD IN DARK BLUE

I’M SORRY ITS ALL IN CAPS I’M TYPING AND WATCHING AND I’M SCREMING ON THE INSIDE DEAL WITH IT FAM I’M SORRY

THAT SMALL GRIN ON HIS FACE WHEN SHE SAYS SHE’S BEEN WORKING UP THE NERVE TO COME AND TALK TO HIM

TRUTH IS I’VE BEENTRYING TO WORK UP THE EVER FOR A LOT LONGER THAN THAT STOOP

ITS NOT GREAT JACK

YEAH BUT JACK HAS AN EVEN NCER HOSUE

SECOND THUGHTS

YES YOU ARE. GIANT MISTAKE INFACT

SHE’S REHEREDSE THIS SO MANY TIMES

KERRY FUCK OFFF NOW IS NOT THE TIME SWEETIE

THE BEER LOL

UES IT IS AWKKWARD

JACKS FACE OUCH

KERRY IS SO SWEET ASKING HER TO STAY FOR LUNCH

NO NOT DAD FUCK

Kerry caught him looking a little too long tbh

I’m not editing typos out of that btw it shows my rage

DAAAAAAD

JACOB YOU SWEET MAN

Oh sam honey I’m so sorry

I’m gonna cry again

FUCK OFF DANIEL JFC I literally do not give a shit

I only found out about Carmen’s death a couple months ago so I’m not gonna handle this well fam

Oh no

I’m typing and not looking again

Because Jacob is gonna tell her to go after Jack

I can’t breath

Six years ago

I’m not letting that go

It’s a continuity fuck up

Not that important but drives me nuts

No you’re not

He’s talking about jack

Come on sam he’s not dum

Everything you want is a house, a marriage and JACK

KERRY

LOVE OF MY LIFE

BREAKING UP WITH JACK FOR THE GREATER GOOD

I really like YOU Kerry

He’s so sad

He really liked Kerry

Retire please sir

Bye Kerry, I miss you already <3

If he told Sam he loved her right now she’d drop everything for him

He’s contemplating it

He’s confused but he’s thinking abut it because she’s stressed right now and ENGAGED but damn Kerry makes good points

More explanation and blah blah

Like if this was the main point of the story, there would be more talk of it outside of Daniel and we wouldn’t have just had 20 straight minutes if Sam and Jack pining over each other

Sorry can we talk about how PETE put a down payment on a house with OUT talking to her?? What if she didn’t like the neighbourhood?

Sorry I’m still mad about that

To be fair that green does look good on Daniel

Oma looks so proud

THEN STOP -B R E A K I N G- IT YOU GOOSE

Fuck sake woman

I’m so emotionally traumatised by this episode that I can’t remember half of what is added and half of whats in the 40 minute cut because I am repressing it lol. Obviously the scene with Kerry and the ones with Pete

NO JACOB

AND JACK BEING THERE FOR SAM

AND THEY MIGHT AS WELL HAVE SAID I LOVE YOU ALL OVER AGAIN

SORRY I NEED A TEN MINUTE BREAK TO CRY

OK I’m back

Sam looking at her like he wants to tell her he loves her breaks my tiny stone cold heart even more

He didn’t actually NEED to put his arm around her but they both actually really did need it

The way she rubs her thumb on his hand and leans into him I fucking can’t

AND MORE DANEIL FFS

Sorry I just feel like this was supposed to be the A plot, Dakara was the B plot and Sam/Jack was the C plot but it ended up Sam/Jack = A, Daniel and Anubis = B, Dakara = C

Took ya long enough to catch on, Danny boy

Good BYE PETE

You didn’t know shit from the beginning go home

That’s the same shade of blue Jack had on before… interesting

I mean it does have something to do with her father…

She will, babe, don’t stress

To be fair, to give him some credit, he took it like a champ

But also don’t be a creep ya know

Why does Sam’s jacket look awkward

She just looks awkward this entire sequence

INCOMING WORMHOLE

What, pray tell, is the point of the self destruct if it doesn’t blow up the gate? Isn’t that part of the point?

Daniel ya tit, that’s not gonna work

Fuck YEAH OMA

BEAT HIS FUCKING ASS

Now Daniel can come back to earth and be with Vala thanks

Literally the only time I like him is with Vala and then its with a push

This seems a little too convenient tbh

I know it was OMA but this episode just feels…. Disjointed

Ah but will you destroy it? Probably not knowing the Jaffa

I wonder if Sam and Jack have spoken by now. Clearly not the same day because different clothes.

I’d say two days since Dad?

Ack Naked!Daniel

Jack is so AWKWARD I LOVE HIM

SAM CAN’T LOOK AT HIM

BRA’TAC IS ENCOURAGING THIS BULL SHIT

F I S H I N G

I can believe it, Sam.

She’s leaning towards him

Aw that giggle

That look she gives him

They’re so happy

This was the perfect ending

It should have finished there

How much time passed between then and s9 I wonder

At least a month right because Sam had been away a month?

Well that was good.

Hurt my heart but it was good

Final notes:

Jacob and Janet deserved better

I want more Kerry

They should have stopped at s9

Sam and Jack are together now, TRY and convince me otherwise

I’m thinking of smutty fic ideas for the cabin please stop me

Thanks for coming along on that emotional roller coaster ride. Ended up being 9 pages of dot points so I’m sorry! But I feel like I’ve said my bit.

Oh one last thing

Fuck Pete 😊

[tonystarkbingo]

TSB MIV Week 23 Roundup!

The countdown is on! Three weeks left of Mark IV (it ends April 10th), and we have our final Discord party this weekend (March 27th).  While you’re rushing to get those last fills in, don’t forget that masterposts are due April 15th, and you will also need to claim all your badges by then.

Now go enjoy this week’s wonderful haul of new works, and give the creators some love!

Title: 80s pop star au Collaborator: Sagana Rojana Olt Card Number: 4046 Link: Tumblr Square Filled: K2 - AU: 80s Pop Star Ship: None Rating: Gen Major Tags: art, Leather Jacket Summary: 80s pop star Tony Word Count: N/A

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Title: Strawberries Collaborator: Sagana Rojana Olt Card Number: 4046 Link: Tumblr Square Filled: K5 - Strawberries Ship: None Rating: Gen Major Tags: art, Suit Summary: Art Word Count: N/A

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Title: Costume Swap  Collaborator: newnewyorker93 Card Number: 4042 Link: Tumblr Square Filled: Adopted - Partner Look Ship: Science Bros Rating: Gen Major Tags: Cross-stitch Summary: Cross-stitch of Bruce wearing Tony’s clothes from Thor: Ragnarok and Tony wearing Bruce’s outfit from Avengers. Word Count: N/A

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Title: ART like stars lost in the dark Collaborator: eachpeachpearplum Card Number: 4003 Link: AO3 Square Filled: S4 - Iron Dad Ship: Tony Stark and Peter Parker Rating: Gen Major Tags: Found family, fluff, art Summary: Art for kurojiri's fic 'like stars lost in the dark' Word Count: N/A

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Title: Clinging Power Collaborator: cami-chats Card Number: 4049 Link: AO3 Square Filled: T5 - Flight Ship: Tony Stark & Peter Parker Rating: Gen Major Tags: drabble Summary: Tony wants to take Peter for a flight around the city. Word Count: 100

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Title: You’re My Best Friend Collaborator: cami-chats Card Number: 4049 Link: AO3 Square Filled: A2 - Ghosts Ship: Sharon Carter/Tony Stark Rating: Gen Major Tags: None Summary: Between one day and the next, Sharon was dead. Neither her or Tony noticed.  Word Count: 1961

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Title: Computer, Define “Dancing” Collaborator: newnewyorker93 Card Number: 4042 Link: Tumblr Square Filled: T2 - Dancing Ship: Dum-E & his fire extinguisher  Rating: Gen Major Tags: Art Summary: Dum-E watches the movie WALL-E and gets a few ideas. (pencil drawing of Dum-E watching the fire extinguisher “dancing” scene from WALL-E) Word Count: N/A

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Title: Objective IRON KNIGHT Collaborator: dracusfyre Card Number: 4032 Link: AO3 Square Filled: K5 - Forgotten Things Ship: WinterIron Rating: Teen Major Tags: AU- Canon Divergence, Temporary Amnesia, Established Relationship  Summary: While at a SHIELD holiday party, Bucky meets a mysterious but charming stranger. When he sees him again at a coffee shop a few weeks later, Bucky is excited by the chance to get to know him better without realizing that neither encounter was the accident that this Anton made them out to be...  Word Count: 18,016

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Title: Time for a Celly Collaborator: JehBeeEh Card Number: 4048 Link: AO3 Square Filled: R5 - New Team Ship: Stony Rating: M Major Tags: Hockey AU! Mild/implied sexy times Summary: Steve and Tony play for the LA based nHL team. What happens when one of them finds out they got traded? Word Count: 1542

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Title: If You’re Strong Enough Collaborator: periwinklepromise Card Number: 4053 Link: AO3 Square Filled: K4 - Super Soldier Serum Ship: WinterIron Rating: Gen Major Tags: None Summary: Thanks to Clint's antics, there is now a horrible eyesore of a statue in the common room. Tony refuses to allow this in his own home, it's a matter of taste. Word Count: 442

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Title: Restraints Collaborator: Sagana Rojana Olt Card Number: 4046 Link: AO3 Square Filled: R3 - Kink: Restraints Ship: WinterIron Rating: Explicit Major Tags: Dirty talk, bondage Summary: Bucky enjoys Tony tied up, and Tony enjoys being tied up. Word Count: 100

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Title: Hand Job Collaborator: Sagana Rojana Olt Card Number: 4046 Link: AO3 Square Filled: S1 - Kink: Hand Job Ship: WinterIron Rating: Explicit Major Tags: Dirty Talk Summary: Bucky comes home after a long day. Word Count: 100

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Title: Anal Sex Collaborator: Sagana Rojana Olt Card Number: 4046 Link: AO3 Square Filled: A1 - Kink: Anal Sex Ship: WinterIron Rating: Explicit Major Tags: Dirty Talk, Anal Sex Summary: Bucky and Tony manage to fall in bed, to the enjoyment of both of them. Word Count: 100

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Title: All’s Fair in Love and Arm Wrestling Collaborator: sierranovembr Card Number: 4033 Link: AO3 Square Filled: T2 -  A Battle/Fight/Confrontation Ship: Tony&Nat brotp, Bucky/Clint, mentioned Steve/Tony, mentioned Nat/Pepper Rating: T Major Tags: Arm Wrestling, Silly Summary: Natasha grits her teeth and stares down her opponent. He shifts, obviously uncomfortable being on the other end of her glare, but he holds his ground. Her arm aches, muscle straining. This is taking too long - even she can’t hold on forever.But he’s weakening, too. She sees the sweat beading on his forehead and the grimace he doesn’t manage to keep off of his face. She smiles, adjusts her grip. Word Count: 711

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Title: Need Somebody to Call My Own [Art] Collaborator: ralsbecket Card Number: 4056 Link: AO3 Square Filled: T3 - New Team Ship: Stony Rating: Teen Major Tags: Football AU, Twink Tony, Insecure Steve Rogers, Digital Art Summary: Senior player Steve Rogers gets a little insecure about his relationship, but Tony Stark is always there to ease his mind. Word Count: 951

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Title: Peaches Collaborator: JehBeeEh Card Number: 4058 Link: AO3 Square Filled: K5 - Revenge Ship: Stony, Superfamily Rating: Mature Major Tags: Kidfic, Super fluff Summary: Peter is influenced by his dad's musical associations to Captain America's assets. Word Count: 1566

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Title: I was Dancing When the Music Stopped Collaborator: chel Card Number: 4011 Link: AO3 Square Filled: A1 - Domesticity Ship: WinterIron Rating: G Major Tags: N/A Summary: Tony stumbled upon Bucky baking in the middle of the night, things evolve from there Word Count: 2387

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Title: Hail To The Chief Collaborator: rebelmeg Card Number: 4034 Link: AO3 Square Filled: T3 - "I'll hold your own" Ship: Tony & Rhodey, Pepperony Rating: Gen Major Tags: fluff and humor, President Rhodey and VP Potts Summary: The votes are in and the newest President and VP celebrate their win. Word Count: 716

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Title: Rhodes - Stark Presidential Campaign Collaborator: rebelmeg Card Number: 4034 Link: Tumblr Square Filled: T2 - president Ship: Tony & Rhodey, Pepperony Rating: Gen Major Tags: moodboard and graphics, President Rhodey and VP Potts Summary: Campaign promo material for the Stark - Rhodes presidential campaign run… and a scrapbook page because Tony can’t help himself.

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Title: Let Me Be Your Shield Collaborator: 27dragons Card Number: 4027 Link: AO3 Square Filled: K1 - Matchmaker Ship: WinterIron Rating: Gen Major Tags: AU: Sentinel/Guide, First Meeting, Pre-Relationship Summary: Bucky’s first meeting with his Sentinel does not go the way he expected it would. Word Count: 1943

[a-dakhtar]

Good JARVIS fic recs! Constituent Parts by MountainRose, which has Extremis!Tony and JARVIS/Jarvis interaction (Jarvis calls JARVIS "Anthony"!!!!). MountainRose also has even more goodness. Run Program: {x} by Amuly isn't a JARVIS fic, but it's a Dummy fic so! Bots! Safeword by melannen is cyberhusbands and discusses BDSM as a main theme, but it's SUPER good and JARVIS pov. "death by coffee" and other search queries by goodmorningbeloved (3799steps) is a good Stony fic with JARVIS as matchmaker

(cont.) Also "A Goddess Carved In Silicon by Nightelfbane" is an OG work but it's REALLY GOOD if you like AIs being treated like gods. 

anon you have blessed us on this wonderful day.

→ Constituent Parts by MountainRose

Slash. The Mandarin was after Tony, after his brain, his abilities, but he underestimated Tony, JARVIS, even the Avengers; this does not go well for him.

I definitely recommend this one from Mountain Rose: Something New 

Tony sticks his nose into his R&D guy's booth at AICon and finds a little someone. (crossover/fusion of sorts with Portal)

→ Run Program: DUM-E by Amuly

Slash. Taking care of Tony is a lot of work. Especially when you’ve only got one arm. And your code dates back to the 1980s.

DEFINITELY remember this fic! Aaaaah, such a good bot fic!

→ Safeword by melannen

Slash. Tony Stark doesn't need to be safe, sane, and consensual. He has JARVIS instead. (Then he gets Steve.)

→ “death by coffee” and other search queries by goodmorningbeloved (3799steps)

Slash. In which Steve's feelings are hopelessly obvious through his Google searches. JARVIS decides to step in.

→ A Goddess Carved In Silicon by Nightelfbane

Original Work. An artificial intelligence is reactivated after over a century and finds herself being worshipped as a goddess by a small village.

That last one definitely sounds interesting! Skimmed it through and will give it a read but there you go! More recs for everyone! If you read them, remember to give them kudos and leave a comment - even just to say ‘kudos’.

[kandisheek]

FIC REC WEEK 34 – TONY AND THE BOTS

Toasters by squireofgeekdom

Pairing: Gen Rating: G Words: 1,027 Tags: Bot Family, Existential Conversations, Banter

Summary: Tony and Clint have a conversation about the bots, what counts as real, and the importance of choice.

Reasons why I love it: Oh Clint, you have no idea what kind of minefield you're stepping in. I love how quick Tony is to defend his bots, and while I see Clint's point about 'real' connection, I am firmly on Tony's side in this argument. This fic is great, and you should definitely read it!

Just Apply STE-V by LBibliophile

Pairing: Steve/Tony Rating: G Words: 426 Tags: Mutual Pining, Matchmaker DUM-E, Fluff and Humor

Summary: When TON-E is sad, DUM-E finds ways to cheer him up. When TON-E is pining, DUM-E finds him STE-V. (Steve would rather prefer to have been consulted on this before being 'delivered'.)

Reasons why I love it: Well, if DUM-E is in the business of Steve-delivery now, I'd like a large with a side of fries. This fic is super cute, especially DUM-E's inner processing, he's such a sweetheart for wanting to make everyone happy. Definitely check this one out, it's amazing.

The Innocence of Weapons by riani1

Pairing: Gen Rating: E Words: 4,086 Tags: Hostage Situation, Violence, Mental Crisis

Summary: Tony's kept some deadly secrets over the years. He probably should have made absolutely sure this one never saw the light of day.

Reasons why I love it: I didn't expect to cry over a fic today, but I was seriously staving off tears towards the end there. I love the themes that this fic introduces, like 'what is agency' and 'am I playing god'. It's really sad, but I'm glad to say it ends on a high note. This fic is amazing, and you should definitely read it!

Dummy Likes Bruce Best (That's Okay, So Does Tony) by celtic7irish

Pairing: Gen Rating: NR Words: 2,762 Tags: Bot Family, Banter, Teasing

Summary: There was a gentle click as the door to the lab opened, and Tony looked up with a wide grin. “Bruce!” he greeted the other man, who entered the room cautiously, as if he was afraid he’d break something. Next to him, Dummy chirped happily, whirring over to roll in circles around the other scientist like an overgrown puppy while Bruce eyed him bemusedly.

Reasons why I love it: DUM-E is such a little shit, I love him. The science bro energy in the room is wonderful, and I'm always a huge fan of the bots making friends with the rest of the Avengers. And Tony is such a softie for it too, it's so sweet. Check this one out if you haven't, it's so good!

Mimily, Pefzr, and Welcome Home: A Learning Curve by LearnedFoot

Pairing: Gen Rating: G Words: 930 Tags: Friendship, Fix-It, Intern Peter

Summary: Tony wanted to teach Dum-E to write, once.

Reasons why I love it: DUM-E is such a good boy, I just want to give him a hug. And Peter too. And Tony. Hugs all around! But seriously, this fic is super sweet, and if you haven't read it yet, you are missing out, my friend!

[deehellcat]

Tony Stark Bingo Round VII MASTERPOST

all the things I did to get a blackout on my card. It wasn't my intent, to begin with, but I just kept getting ideas, and when I had over half the card planned out, well hell, might as well go whole hog then. lol

Anyway! here they are.

S1—kink: held down –Trust, Embodied, chapter 2. https://archiveofourown.org/works/53154721/chapters/134497288

S2—DUM-E—When Matchmakers Attack, chapter 2. https://archiveofourown.org/works/53066173/chapters/134261038

S3—forcibly adopted— surpassing things we’ve known before, chapter 2 https://archiveofourown.org/works/52011907/chapters/131531194

S4—Picture of Pepper and Iron Man suit—Trust, Embodied, chapter 1. https://archiveofourown.org/works/53154721/chapters/134496550

S5—canon divergent/nobody dies—The Obvious and In Betweens, chapter 1. https://archiveofourown.org/works/53411896/chapters/135187480

T1—Stony—When Matchmakers Attack, chapter 1. https://archiveofourown.org/works/53066173/chapters/134260444

T2—present tense—I Must Admit, I Can’t Explain. https://archiveofourown.org/works/52732039

T3—1980s au, adopted to replace DUM-E—Just Gonna Change the World. https://archiveofourown.org/works/49994290

T4—body modification—Wee Dragon Tony crochet. https://deehellcat.tumblr.com/post/728267075201744896/i-love-stretching-tonystarkbingo-prompts-d-in  

T5—hurt/comfort— surpassing things we’ve known before, chapter 1. https://archiveofourown.org/works/52011907/chapters/131530381

A1—going on vacation together—The Obvious and In-Betweens, chapter 3. https://archiveofourown.org/works/53411896/chapters/135188488

A2—time travel to the past— surpassing things we’ve known before, chapter 3. https://archiveofourown.org/works/52011907/chapters/131531665

A3—FREE—Love Is A Fruit. https://deehellcat.tumblr.com/post/733366682468384768/well-that-went-quickly-lolol-i-present-the

A4—Quarantined—The Obvious and In-Betweens, chapter 2. https://archiveofourown.org/works/53411896/chapters/135187948

A5—tonynat— A Timeline of my Life. https://deehellcat.tumblr.com/post/728848689903386624/another-moodboard-for-tonystarkbingo-this-time

R1—abducted—all eyes on you, my magician (all eyes on us). https://archiveofourown.org/works/51236866

R2—billionaire—In Season At All Times. https://archiveofourown.org/works/51434401  

R3—anthropomor-fic—A World Where People Like Me Don't Have To Hide. https://www.tumblr.com/deehellcat/724212640575045632/my-first-moodboard-and-my-first-fill-for-tony

R4—new team—Esprit de Corps https://archiveofourown.org/works/51380359

R5—dirty talk—When Matchmakers Attack, chapter 3. https://archiveofourown.org/works/53066173/chapters/134261821

K1—mafia au—They Know When to Jump. https://www.tumblr.com/deehellcat/724237784386289664/now-that-ive-discovered-the-dark-art-of-making

K2—Sokovia—An Impression So Deep, chapter 1. https://archiveofourown.org/works/49668364 K3—ironstrange—Broken Shadows. https://archiveofourown.org/works/51060175

K4—apology—An Impression So Deep, chapter 2. https://archiveofourown.org/works/49668364/chapters/125362726

K5—‘let me do it’—Nine Lives. https://archiveofourown.org/works/48967366

[stony-ao3-feed]

Just Apply STE-V

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/2J3Km3H

by LBibliophile

When TON-E is sad, DUM-E finds ways to cheer him up. When TON-E is pining, DUM-E finds him STE-V. (Steve would rather prefer to have been consulted on this before being 'delivered'.)

For: DUM-E Appreciation Hebdomad 2020 - day 4: word day Tony Stark Bingo 2020 - 3096 - T3: matchmaker

Words: 425, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)

Rating: General Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: M/M

Characters: Dummy (Iron Man movies), Steve Rogers, Tony Stark

Relationships: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark

Additional Tags: POV Dummy (Iron Man movies), Developing Relationship, Dum-E ships it, Mutual Pining, Matchmaker DUM-E, Dum-E Appreciation Hebdomad 2020, Tony Stark Bingo 2020, Bingo Fill

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/2J3Km3H

[rebelmeg]

Rebelmeg’s TSB Mark V Masterpost

@tonystarkbingo​

S1 - Grumpy Coffee Kitten - Chapter 2: A Sleepy Murder Hobo Walks Into a Coffee Shop... | fanfic | Teen | pre-Bucky/Darcy, several other minor and/or platonic pairings

S2 -  Rebelmeg Drabbles - Chapter 18: Operation | fanfic | Gen | Pepperony

S3 - ChaosBot Meets Its Match - TSB Mark V November Round Robin | fanfic | Gen | no pairing

S4 - Hell Hath No Fury | fanfic | Teen | Tony & Rhodey, Pepperony

S5 - Bot Shaming - Part 9 | graphics art/social media post | Gen | Tony & Dum-E

T1 - Rebelmeg Drabbles - Chapter 19: MIT Bros Learning to Cook | fanfic | Gen | Tony & Rhodey & Momma Rhodes

T2 -  First Date Jitters collab with @newnewyorker93​ | fanfic | Gen | Pepperony

T3 - Baby Shower | moodboard | Gen | Pepperony

T4 - Disenchanted with Captain America | fanfic | Gen | Tony & Howard, Tony & Steve

T5 - Go To Sleep | fanfic | Teen | Pepperony

A1 - Vegas Wedding | moodboard | Gen | Pepperony

A2 -  After the Fall | fanfic | Gen | Pepperony

A3 - Stiletto Blades in Stiletto Heels | fanfic | Teen | Pepperony

A4 - Grumpy Coffee Kitten - Chapter 9: Pick Your Power | fanfic | Teen | pre-Bucky/Darcy, several other pairings

A5 - Icarus and Apollia | fanfic | Gen | Pepperony

R1 - Taking Care of You Since 1992 | fanfic | Teen | Tony & Happy, Tony & Rhodey

R2 - The Best Kind of Confetti | moodboard | Gen | Pepperony

R3 - Put Another Dime in the Jukebox, Baby | fanfic | Teen | Tony/Unspecified (pick your pairing)

R4 - Regency Matchmaking | moodboard | Gen | Pepperony, Rhodey & Happy

R5 - I Love You 3000 | graphics art | Gen | Iron Family

K1 - The Start of Something New | moodboard | Gen | Pepperony

K2 - Avengers Bake-Off | moodboard | Gen | Avengers friendships, minor Pepperony

K3 - Rhodey & Mo's Date in the Park | moodboard | Gen | Rhodey & Morgan

K4 - Up Late | fanfic | Gen | Pepperony

K5 - Across the Multiverse | fanfic | Gen | Pepperony

[menatiera]

Quick Prompt: Dum-E and JARVIS playing matchmaker. Could be Tony/Bucky, Tony/Steve, Tony/Pepper or even a non-Tony pairing - whatever the Muse suggests!

Thanks for the prompt, @polizwrites darling! Under the cut is what I came up with for it, I hope you’ll like it! :) Also counts as a fill for my @buckybarnesbingo :)

Title: Dummy’s faboulous ideas 

Collaborator: Menatiera 

Square Filled: C5 - Sidekick 

Ship/Main Pairing: Gen, mentioned Winteriron, possible Steve/Pepper 

Rating: Gen 

Major Tags/Warnings: none 

Summary: Dummy is determined to help the people he cares for. Jarvis is concerned, Bucky is amused. 

Word Count: 744 words 

Also available on AO3.

Leave a comment if you liked, and even if you didn’t, please! :)

“No, DUM-E, I don’t think that is a good idea,” Jarvis said.

The bot responded in a series of beeps, some of them sounding positively frustrated, and Bucky listened, amused, to the half of the conversation that happened in a language he understood. 

“I know you want the best for Ms. Potts, DUM-E.”

It still was amazing to listen to Jarvis, because it was impossible to tell that he wasn’t human. Bucky had heard Siri, and Alexa, and even the limited capacity AI SHIELD used in its buildings, and none of them managed to really sound human. Not to a supersoldier, knock-off serum or not, at least.

DUM-E’s beeps reminded Bucky of R2-D2 from Star Wars. He couldn’t rule out the possibility that Tony was heavily inspired by the on-screen robot when he (probably drunk) coded the heavy lifter robot’s voice modules. Also, in Bucky’s opinion, R2 always sounded like he was censored because of using exclusively swear words of his vocabulary, and DUM-E definitely sounded angry now.

“I know it had a positive outcome last time, but I am obliged to remind you, Sir and Ms Potts have very different personalities, just like James and Captain Rogers have.”

Bucky decided he had heard enough to guess what the conversation was - again - about. He stood up, strode over to DUM-E and patted the strout of the robot affectionately while he looked him in the camera. “Hey, buddy. I hope you don’t plan to lead Steve and Pepper in a supply closet and lock them in?”

The answering beeps were enthusiastic. 

“I’m afraid he took it in his head, yes, James,” Jarvis sighed, more amused than exasperated.

“You’re such a nosy matchmaker,” Bucky laughed.

Jarvis was right - it worked last time. When DUM-E figured out that his Creator Unit would be happier if he was together with Bucky, the bot did everything in his power to herd them closer to each other, both physically and emotionally. He kept Bucky in the workshop, he mixed up their drinks so they should talk while switching, and eventually, he managed to lock them in a storage closet that was barely big enough for them, so they were forced into addressing the elephant in the room. Or the erection in the room. Whatever, it worked.

Bucky still grinned as he recalled the memory, then grinned wider as he imagined the same scenario with Steve and Pepper.

He was sure one of them would die, and his bets were on Pepper surviving. His only question was if Steve died of self-induced heart attack by embarrassment, or by a stiletto punched through his forehead after he opened his mouth.

Not like Pepper didn’t have doe eyes around Steve, but that woman had principles, okay, and Steve was awkward with women on a good day, but when it came to his crushes? Oh god that idiot turned into the proverbial bisexual disaster he really was.

DUM-E dragged Bucky out of his thoughts by a series of excited, imperious beeps.

“Sorry, bud, but Jarvis is right.” He was kind of grateful that since that fiasco with Ultron, Tony seemed necessary to separate the systems of all of his AIs and therefore Jarvis had to talk to the bots out loud just like to people. So Bucky sometimes had the chance to join in on the conversations. And the chance to stop DUM-E from unintentionally killing Steve. “Miss Pepper wouldn’t appreciate your help, believe me. She’s quite self-supporting if she wants something. Where did you get this idea in the first place?”

Jarvis sighed.

“I’m afraid DUM-E watched one too many romantic comedies.”

Bucky snorted. “There’s no such thing as too many romantic comedies,” he clarified, just so Jarvis also knew where Bucky stood, then he turned back to the robot at hand who beeped almost sadly. Almost. Bucky wasn’t fooled for a second, knowing that DUM-E would still go with his plan, stubborn little thing as he was. “Hallmark’s still your favorite, right? Come on, bud, let’s watch some TV together, will ya?”

DUM-E perked up immediately.

“Thought so,” Bucky smiled, leading the way back to the couch he was coming from, looking up at one of Jarvis’s camera. “Jarv, let Tony know about this, okay? Just to be safe.”

It would be a shame to lose his best friend. Also, he wanted to be the one to lock Steve in a closet, with or without Pepper. He also had principles, after all.