#master of arts and culture DOES have a nice ring to it!!!

[cowboah-baby]

i just turned in and presented my master’s thesis and i can’t believe i was able to get the school done with everything else that’s going on in my life!!

[themovieblogonline]

Blue Eye Samurai Slices Through Emmy Competition

When it comes to animation, few series have cut through the noise like Netflix’s "Blue Eye Samurai." This visually stunning series, which combines breathtaking animation with a compelling narrative, has earned a well-deserved spot among the nominees for Outstanding Animated Program at the 76th Primetime Emmy Awards. The Samurai’s Path to the Emmys "Blue Eye Samurai" has quickly become a standout in the world of animated television. It’s not every day you see a show that blends historical drama with samurai action and layers it with a deep dive into identity and vengeance. The Emmy nomination is just the latest feather in its cap. The show is coming off a strong showing at the Annie Awards earlier this year where it took home six wins. But it’s not just about pretty visuals. This series goes deep, slicing through the complexities of its characters with precision. The story follows Mizu, a mixed-race master of the blade, navigating the treacherous world of Edo-period Japan. The show doesn’t just entertain; it challenges viewers, making them question ideas about identity, culture, and revenge. If that doesn’t scream Emmy-worthy, I don’t know what does. Outstanding Sound Editing: A Category Apart Adding another arrow to its quiver, "Blue Eye Samurai" has also been nominated for Outstanding Sound Editing for a Comedy or Drama Series (Half-Hour) and Animation. This is where the series truly flexes its muscles! Each clash of swords, every footstep on gravel, and the faintest whisper of a bamboo forest are meticulously crafted to immerse the viewer fully into its world. It's like stepping into feudal Japan without leaving your living room. The Emmy-nominated episode, "The Tale Of The Ronin And The Bride," exemplifies this excellence. The sound team, including Myron Nettinga, Paulette Lifton, and Sam Hayward, among others, has created an auditory landscape that’s as rich and layered as the show’s narrative. They didn’t just edit sounds; they sculpted an experience. Facing the Competition Let’s not forget the other heavyweights in the ring: "Bob’s Burgers," "The Simpsons," "Scavengers Reign," and "X-Men ’97." These shows are the Michael Jordans of animation, consistently bringing their A-game year after year. But "Blue Eye Samurai" isn’t here to play nice—it’s here to win. What sets it apart? For one, it's not your typical animated fare. This series is more like a graphic novel brought to life, with its intricate art style and mature themes. It's the kind of show that gets under your skin, makes you think, and leaves you pondering long after the credits roll. The creators of "Blue Eye Samurai" didn’t just make a show—they crafted an experience. The Road Ahead With a second season already confirmed, it’s clear that "Blue Eye Samurai" is here to stay. Co-creator Michael Green has teased that the story is plotted out for at least three or four seasons. He confirmed the team knows exactly where they want to take Mizu’s journey. The Emmy nomination is not just a recognition of what the show has accomplished so far, but a promise of what’s to come. As we await the Emmy Awards, one thing is clear: "Blue Eye Samurai" has already won the hearts of its viewers. Whether it takes home the gold or not, it’s made a mark that won’t soon be forgotten. So, sharpen your blades and keep an eye on this one—it's just getting started. Read the full article

[a-lil-perspective]

so I figured if anyone would have an hc about this, you'd have a good one. Do you think any of the bad batch guys do crafts? Who does what? (I've fallen back into crocheting and the thought popped into my head)

Oh! I’m honored that you sought my opinion. XD

Yes, I think they would do arts and crafts of all kind! I think their independent travels would provide them the opportunity to learn these skills profoundly. Maybe they even utilized those assets to make ends meet when they were first starting out.

(I envy your re-kindle of crocheting😔)

Wrecker:

Scrapbooking (Wrecker would pour his heart and soul into this one, spending months gathering photos of he and the boys, working on the theme and accessories for each page before presenting it as a gift to Hunter :’) )

Candle or soap making (I think he would love all the different scents, colors, and textures to come with it!)

Pottery (Despite his destructive nature I think, given the right circumstances, Wrecker can be very dexterous and precise! I think he would enjoy pottery in its entirety; getting to form the clay, bake it, and then the painting!)

Knitting and Crocheting (This one would definitely take him some time to master and for a long while he would only stick to small items like socks or a scarf. But once he gets it. Can you just imagine sweet Wrecker making soft and cozy sweaters :’) )

Crosshair:

Calligraphy (Crosshair would do some beautiful calligraphy omg babe would kill it.)

Origami (I just see him finding this one really relaxing with all the different and random shapes to make; this one’s especially good for taking his mind off things and just zoning out for a bit.)

Jewelry making (Don’t sell him short he’s got a fine eye for that; Cross doesn’t see it as a “feminine” hobby he just sees it as art and a way to exhibit his craftsmanship and honesty I love that for him. He could make some beautiful necklaces and rings.)

Tech:

Beadworking (Tech’s excellent fine motor skills make him an ideal candidate for this; it can branch into many other crafts as well, in which I think he would enjoy the versatility there.)

Stained glass (I don’t know how to explain it but Tech just has a certain design style that I think he could really let shine through this one in particular.)

Metal working (I think this one would coalesce with his engineering work quite nicely.)

Hunter:

Wood carving (Need I say more.)

Basket weaving (Hunter very much gives off “rural crafts” vibes and I think he would be very good at this.)

Mosaic Art (A heavy culture-enriched craft, which is also something very befitting Hunter. I think he would enjoy the process of working with the small stones/tiles, diligently piecing each one to form a larger picture. Hunter is very tactile and loves working with his hands; he enjoys the challenging aspects to be found there so the more intricate the project the better. You’ll notice all three of these arts and crafts carry the same distinct theme: creating from scratch. I think the value there is very important to someone like Hunter. He likes creating things all on his own, for his own.)

Echo:

I don’t actually think Echo would participate in arts and crafts as far as the creating aspect, but he does love to be on the receiving end. He’s a great product tester. :) His favorite crafts to experience are the textile ones. He loves when Wrecker makes him a sweater or beanie, he gets cold often so receiving a nice hand-knit sweater—especially Wrecker’s hand-knit sweater—makes him feel all warm and fuzzy. :’)

[a-la-la-llama]

The One Where Marinette Meets Her 2nd Wayne #6

Part 1   Part 2   Part 3   Part 4   Part 5   Part 7

  Panic. Panic wasn’t an uncommon feeling but one that was not welcomed. She had felt it everyday in Paris. The alarms with their high pitched screeches alerting everyone of the danger. That it was time for their heroes’ to come out and save the day like every time beforehand. Akuma alarms were something she was all for but the sounds they made terrified Marinette to her core. Yet, this wasn’t what was causing her to freak out. No, it was something else entirely but the same amount of panic.

Marinette was running late to school. Her first day of school.

You would think she would have kicked the habit but Marinette still couldn’t get her life together enough to wake up with her alarm.

‘Maybe she should change the ringtone to an akuma alarm? That would surely get her out of bed.”, she thought while hopping down the sidewalk pulling her sock up.

Once secured just below her knee, Marinette took off into a sprint towards her school.

‘If I changed it into an akuma alarm I might transform and jump out my window half-asleep.’, she reasoned with herself.

Slowing her speed down to a fast walk, Marinette started her way towards her first class. She had just toured this god-forsaken building and couldn’t remember for the life of her where to go! Everything looked so different with students now in the hallways, most taller than her. Seriously, what did people in America eat? Everyone looked like they grew like weeds.

Focus! She stared at her schedule shuffling her feet to ensure she didn’t trip. Shifting her gaze just above the paper to avoid bodies coming towards her Marinette began to commit it to memory. There must have been a crowd because she got stuck behind people not walking and had to maneuver her way past all of them. What she didn’t realize was that they were surrounding someone. Then she walked straight into that someone.

///~///~///~///~///~///~///~///~///~///~///~///~///~///~///~///~///~///~///~///~///~

  Damian was anything but a ‘happy camper’ this morning. Jon had left that summer on some out of this world mission for who knows how long. His father no longer wanted him to attend the school the two had previously gone to and transferred him to one closer to home. It was his first year of high school and to add to it, he was given the task of babysitting one of Selina’s pets. So no, he was not looking forward to this school year. As if it couldn't get worse, many of Gotham’s Academy's students knew of his name and decided that the best way to interact was to gawk. Seriously, Damian was only rich; it's not like he was an idol or something. He was trudging his way to his class when he felt something ram straight into his back.

‘Breath. Father would be disappointed if you snapped at a fellow student on the first day’, he told himself. Luckily, the person who ran into him spoke before he could insult her.

  Marinette was panicking. Again! Isn't she carrying the goddess of luck in her backpack? Why is her life so unlucky? Not only did she bump into someone, they were super tall compared to her. They were also the person the crowd had been surrounding. Which in turn meant they were important. So what did Marinette do?

“Je suis vraiment désolé monsieur! Je ne voulais pas faire ça, mais je dois y aller!”, she rushed out before walking past him.

( Translation: I'm very sorry sir! I didn't mean to do that, but I must get going! )

Why did she speak in French! Stupid fight or flight instincts making her switch to her native language. Hopefully no one paid attention and wouldn’t question her on it. Cover story, cover story, think of your cover story. Oh who was she kidding, Marinette couldn’t lie to save her life!

  She calmed down before entering the classroom. The desks were the standard science class tables and you were supposed to sit with a partner much like Ms. Mendeleive’s class back in Paris. Most students already knew others from previous grades so it would be easier for her to stay out of peoples ways for now. Her mind drifted back to Paris as she claimed an empty seat. They would have already started school last week. Could they be struggling on the information? Hawkmoth interrupted a lot of school days with his akuma’s. Then again, it was only Ms. Bustier’s class that ever ran off then followed the school's protocols. Alya who would risk anything for the scoop. Lila or Cholé would run because they would be the main targets. Her and Adrien would have run to transform and defeat them.

Marinette knew the Kwami magic protected their identity but she still kicked herself for not recognizing it until Adrien detransformed in front of her. He was very upset that she took his ring without giving him her identity. Adrien eventually understood that as Grand Guardian it would be a liability.

  The bell ringing drew her back to reality as she turned back to what the teacher was saying.

“ Good morning, everyone! I’m Ms. Jones and I’ll be your Pre-AP Biology teacher this year. I’ll call roll while you guys get out your science journals! Be sure to say ‘here’ when I say your name.”, she explained.

Marinette pulled her black bag onto her lap and smiled as she took out the 3-subject spiral. The Kwami’s had encouraged her to make a bag to carry the box back in Paris. It was a simple backpack but had the symbol for each Kwami. Tikki explained the symbols were forms of blessings. Like how Master Fu’s box actually represented prosperity in Chinese culture. Each Kwami symbol gave her blessings, like good luck and protection with Tikki and Wayzz. It even had a false bottom where the condensed version of her Ladybug egg fit. Neither she nor the kwami’s wanted to leave it at the apartment all day. So she sewed some extra material to cover it and put all her school supplies on top. Setting it back down under her desk, she flipped to the first page of her journal. She said here when her name was called and tuned out until Ms. Jones started speaking again.

  “Now that I have taken attendance, feel free to talk to your neighbor while I hand out this year's syllabus! These will be your seats until the end of the six-weeks.”, the teacher announced. This would have been fine for Marinette if it wasn’t for who decided to sit next to her. She turned in her seat to meet the boy from the hallway.

“Je m'appelle Damian. Ravi de vous rencontrer.”, he said. In French.

“I can speak English. My name is Marinette, again sorry for running into you! There were just so many people, some weren’t even moving and I wasn’t paying attention and I am rambling. Sorry.”, she muttered with a shy smile at the end.

“It’s quite alright. May I ask what caused the language change? Usually I make the mistake when I am passionate about something. Though, I don’t think you are passionate about apologizing.”, Damian asked.

  This could go two ways. She could admit she was terrified of him or play it cool and stick to her backstory?

The latter of the two for sure!

“This is my first time in Amer- real school! I have been homeschooled until now. I got nervous about what I was supposed to say, overthinked, and reverted to my first language.”, Marinette explained.

He let out a hum as the teacher put the syllabus on their desk with information on the class, tutorials, and how to contact her. They were told to glue or tape it onto the first page.

“So, your language trigger is the feeling of being overwhelmed. How many do you know?”, he asked.

“I guess you could say that. For sure French, English, and Mandarin. I learned the basics of Japanese and Vietnamese for old acquaintances. Oh, and Italian because of my grandmother!”, she exclaimed. The Guardian language couldn’t be mentioned but that made seven.

  That’s what they did in their free time. The two talked about everything they knew and had learned. Turns out they both were ahead than normal students, but Marinette knew she was anything but normal. They actually had five of the seven classes together. Neither he or she knew sign-language so that was deemed a fun class to Marinette. American school was not as bad as Marinette had thought it would be as she walked to work.

  She tied her apron on before starting her task of meeting each plant's needs. The Daisies were already complaining about how thirsty they were and begged to be water.

“Ah, Hello Mari-gold! Wasn’t today your first day of school?”, Ivy questioned.

Marinette grabbed the water mister, “Yup!”

‘Well, how was it? Harley and Selina would want to know.”, she continued.

“Hmm. It was great! The clubs will be opening in two weeks so I plan to join an art one. Do we have more plant food in the back?”, Marinette said.

“Yes, just behind flower pots. I’m glad you enjoyed it.”, answered Ivy.

“I think I’ll have to start packing lunch, however. I know it’s an academy but the cafeteria food is still terrible.”, she joked.

“Yeah, I think it’s just a school thing. Oh, that reminds me, Harley wants to bake more of those cookies with you. I quote, ‘I would totally adopt her if we had more room at our place just for cookies.’ She has a serious love of chocolate chips!”, sighed out Ivy.

“While the thought is nice, I have to decline the adoption. How does Friday sound?”, Marinette laughed.

“Perfect!”

Guess What! I actually have the outline for this story and how it will end and everything! Now I just have to write it all... T . T

Tag List

@legallyspawned @chocolate1721 @spartanxhunterx @dreamykitty25 @toodaloo-kangaroo @vixen-uchiha @loveswifi @amayakans @jeptwin @thewonderlandartist @buticaaba @books-and-left-behind-journals @gigibnl @aegyobutpsycho2 @crazylittlemunchkin @maribat-is-lifeblood @myazael @abrx2002 @pawsitivelymiraculous @silvergold-swirl @chaos-inperson @marichatcameback @olynix @ash-amg @elmokingkong @kitsunebell @yin-390

[legends-live-in-memories]

I Have Too Many Opinions. ep. 1

lmao. i got encouragement to post my opinions on fandom things and now i want to make a miniseries doing just that. so here i am. doing just that.

im putting it under the cut cuz this was 4 whole pages including the disclaimer. yes i put a disclaimer and i explain why.

Anyways, here is the first piece in what inevitably will become fandom info dump, this time on thomas astruc’s writing on miraculous ladybug. but only some of my opinions cuz we would be here all day otherwise.

So… a disclaimer before I begin… 

I do not hate Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug and Chat Noir (yes i'm using their government name). I am quite a fan of the show actually despite its faults. I am also older than the intended audience but was obviously younger when the show first aired which is how my interest was piqued (the fact that its been 6 years and only 3 seasons says more about the show than me being a fan for that amount of time but also i never want to rush content creators cuz they're doing their best) and due to my age, there will be inherent bias in my approach of what i'm about to say as there is in EVERY opinion. The fact that it is an opinion should imply the presence of bias but most people tend to lack the critical thinking skills required to draw that conclusion ANYWAYS…

If I did hate the show I would not have this blog nor would I be even writing this because i tend to not give more than 2 seconds of thought to things i actively dislike (some of yall should give this a try) and i'm allowed to like things that are designed for an audience that i was originally a part of but grew out of. (I don't suddenly stop liking things because I'm older despite what many younger fans seem to believe about older audiences. I also don't need to be ‘allowed’ to do anything cuz i wasn't asking for permission anyways.)

This will not be character bashing, astruc bashing nor fandom bashing cuz, again, that would imply i hate any of those elements and if i did, i would not dedicate brainpower to them. Analyses and criticisms of media are fun and engaging and required if you wish to produce good enjoyable content. Now most of this should be already assumed and self-explanatory but people on the internet like to play morality roulette roll dice on purity culture and I rather have documentation that I am in fact not bullying fictional 14 year olds or a grown man. But alas, people get trigger happy whenever someone has less than 1000000% positive opinions on something they like and will throw out words they can't define (gaslight, baiting, toxic, problematic, gatekeep etc) in an attempt to defend their blind devotion, 

which is not needed, if you like something you never have to defend it, even if i don't like it. If you respond to anything I post saying you disagree with me, I will not argue with you. I won't debate back and forth and try to convince you that the things you like are wrong. Unless you are being absolutely tone deaf to what i'm saying, you wont get a negative reaction from me. So don't try to fish for a fight. Please. I got metaphorical hands for days and I'm mean, you don't want me hurting your feelings on the internet. Do yourself the favour. Difference of opinion is how we get diversification in media and is inherently a good thing. Now that that's out of the way, please don't ever let me have to say that again. I beg.

Now onto the fun stuff

I didn't know what I wanted as a first topic so my trusty internet friend @moonlitceleste suggested astruc’s writing… 

AND BOI do i got some opinions on ole tommy boi. Again I don't hate the dude. In fact, he has worked on a few shows that had defined my childhood, including but not limited to W.I.T.C.H. (all eps available on youtube for those interested, 2 seasons, general fun time all around).

So I don't think he’s scum of the earth but I do think his approach to writing mlb specifically has more misses than hits.

The first big miss is that he has no idea how to write 14 year old girls. At all. Almost every girl he has ever written feels like some terrible archetype built entirely for marketability and childish projection and pubescent self-insert (kind of). He has never been a 14 year old girl. I have. In fact when the show first aired, I WAS around the (assumed) age of the mlb characters. The behaviour he passes off as quirky or awkward or just the character’s genuine personality tend to perpetuate harmful stereotypes of teen girls found in the media and are never actually addressed as harmful. they just get swept under the rug. Marinette’s exuberant collage of teen heart throb model boi Adrien Agreste and her very painful almost fan worship she has of him (which flip flops like a paper sandal in the rain) being portrayed as a cute school girl crush uwu, Chloe being the y7 Regina George, Alya being the token best friend of colour with her ‘sassy’ personality (i want y'all to imagine me eyerolling so hard i bust a vessel in my eye), Kagami being the very damaging Perfect Asian Child stereotype. And before y'all get on your dusty soap box and defend going on about “BUT IT'S FOR CHILDREN”,,,, know this.

 i don’t give a solid fuck. 

Not one. 

Children arent stupid. Children are always going to remember the richy bitchy blonde who bullies the art kid, and the big kid, and the shy kid, and the non white kids, and was only nice to her equally rich white friend who she probably had a crush on or was only ever civil to her equally white lapdog. They're going to remember the half asian girl who was never allowed to actually be asian or the only black girl who existed solely as a soundboard for enabling bad habits or chastising the main character for the same habits she enables in the first place (boi aint THAT a topic for later). Like do i really need to explain that alya chastising marinette for taking max’s spot in gamer just to play with adrien rings absolutely hollow when she actively encourages her to sabotage the contest she’s in just so Kagami doesn't win?? Like I don't have to explain that right?? Again kids arent stupid and its quite something that Mari gets chastised for proving herself the best video game player regardless of her intentions just cuz it comes at the expense of max’s feelings/ego but is actively encouraged to sabotage not only kagami but herself by extension cuz kagami is ‘competition.’ Adrien is not a trophy to be won. And no I don't expect 14 yrs old to be perfect and to always make good decisions but these decisions are never addressed as being bad decisions. they get swept under the rug cuz those decisions were necessary for the ‘plot’ but astruc can barely keep characterization consistent and his characters suffer for it and it's the same children you preach are watching it that suffer as well. Cuz guess what? I KNOW 14 yr olds aren't like that cuz i've been there done that (this is the last time i'm saying that i promise) so I know astruc is just metaphorically throwing darts to figure out who says and does what without consideration for pre established personalities to drive the stalemate plot along. The same kids you say are watching this don't know that that's not how preteens work and will absorb and internalize those dynamics like baking soda and vinegar. Cata-fucking-strophically. 

And I haven't even gotten to the boys yet. Which honestly doesn't require much explanation anyways cuz they suffer the same fate as the girls. Tired archetypes with nothing to give them life. Nino falls into Adrien’s person of colour token best friend who dates the female lead’s person of colour token best friend so they can have cute double dates uwu. Except the plot goes nowhere and we have no inclination of romantic development beyond moments that only act to actively convince me to anti ship the lovesquare (i don't want to do that so i self indulge in fanon that actually cares about the characters and plot. may i interest you in True Sight on AO3?). Max is the residential nerd but it doesn't matter (cuz he and everyone are dumbed down for the sake of ‘plot’), kim is the sports jock (which interestingly subverts the asian comedic relief stereotype but only barely) and luka is cute older guy ™ that wears black nail polish and is in a band. The point of all this is to say there is no depth in the characters. It's especially blatantly obvious with the characters astruc doesn't like (chloe). Again, it being a show for kids is not an excuse to be absolved of putting effort into the characters you make.

This is one of the biggest misses astruc has. I haven't even gone into all the nuances of this particular miss. And i havent gone into how that works against him in the plot either. Mostly because the plot itself hasn't gone anywhere and partially because I wanted to go into the plot (or lack thereof) separately as its own miss. 

AND BOI is it a miss. 

SO home boy astruc wanted to reap the benefits of a serial show with ‘engaging’ plot without putting in any of the work to make a linear storyline and relying on the episodic format for, again, marketability. You can't have the best of both worlds, you are not Avatar: The Last Airbender. Which btw has a lot less episodes and a desired end goal that didn't involve top dollar. Legend of Korra did but that's not the point and it had its failings with that too. I challenge you, tell me how many episodes actually contribute towards a plot point or introduce new thematic elements to the show? Can you name them? I can and I'm going to include the plot points that moved the story in some direction if only temporarily. Yes only temporarily for some of these and i will explain later. (if you're in the server you already saw this list *wink*)

25/26. Origins- self explanatory, the beginning of the story, 

24. Volpina- introduction of the grimoire and Master Fu (kind of) and no, Lila is not a plot point,

28. The Collector- proper introduction of Master Fu,

37. Sapotis- introduction of Rena Rouge,

41. Syren- introduction of new aquatic power ups,

44. Anansi- introduction of Carapace,

47. Frozer- introduction of new ice power ups,

48/49. Style Queen- introduction of Queen Bee,

51/52. Heroes’ Day- introduction of Mayura and mass akumatization,

66. Startrain- introduction of Pegasus,

67. Kwami Buster- Marinette wears multiple miraculouses,

68. Feast- backstory as to how the miraculouses were lost,

69. Ikari Gozen- introduction of Ryuko,

70. Timetagger- introduction of Bunnyx,

71. Party Crasher- introduction of Roi Singe and Viperion,

73. Chat Blanc- alternate timeline that essentially means nothing but got a reaction out of fans anyways (myself included)

 77/78. Love Eater/Battle of Miraculous- Marinette becomes guardian and other heroes lose their miraculous,

New York Special- other heroes exist and there is an American miraculous box,

That's 21 episodes. 21 out of a heaping 78 plus 2 specials. Everything else was just your typical akuma of the day episode and everything that happened outside that had no lasting consequences on the plot thanks to the miraculous status quo. Was it entertaining to watch Lila stir the plot of the class dynamic? Hell yeah. Too bad it meant nothing by the end of the episode cuz we were struck with miraculous status quo. She literally doesn't appear again until Heroes Day. that is from episodes 25 all the way to 51, she means nothing and yet she is treated with the severity of a b-villain/rival thing. She means nothing by the end of Volpina if I'm being honest. She is only relevant for 20 mins of episode time she’s in then it's back to magic status quo that undoes any shift in dynamics and relationships. It's like Spongebob who can't get his driver’s license. The worst part is I actually like Lila and I wish the story treated her with the seriousness we as an audience are expected to treat her with. Despite being painfully inconsequential by the end of each of the 3?? 4?? episodes she’s in, it's entertaining to watch a character create drama just because. 

Too bad it means nothing.

Astruc is constantly building up suspense to something ‘important’ only for it to not deliver and fans are constantly having the rug pulled out from under us. Oblivio teased us with a reveal only that gets undone cuz memory akuma. Chat Blanc teased us with romantic development but that gets undone cuz time travel bullshit. Feast introduced more miraculous lore and the history of the guardians but that means nothing by the next episode or ever (i'm not including any reference to the season 4 trailer cuz i've been around the block a few times and im familiar with this lil dancy dance). Heroes Day teased us with a possible future team of heroes but that gets undone in Battle of Miraculous cuz ????? why?? (here's why; astruc was having a jolly ole time letting us know how irredeemable Chloe is at the expense of shooting his own stagnant plot in the foot. Again, discussion for later.)

Too bad anything that slightly swerves off course from the akuma of the day gets undone or ignored. Too bad nothing has any lasting consequence. I mean, if anything did, the episodes would have had a consistent order and release schedule so im not scrambling to watch the leaked ep in Portuguese or something while the french dub is two episodes behind while the english version hasnt even been dubbed. I really wonder how he plans to conclude the show when he’s so afraid to step out of the corner he painted himself in.

Again, not going into nuances. If you want you can ask for more specifics (i doubt anyone would) but this is really just a slightly detailed general overview of my opinions on astruc’s writing. 

I was going to include another miss in his approach to this show but imma save that for another time. 

How’s that for a ‘first’ post?

[teacup-tyrant]

SHADOW & BONE REVIEW: EP 1

HELLO.

So let's get the assholery out of the way: I have a master's in arts critique (specifically film, dance, and fashion) and these are my Very Important Educated Thoughts.™ Just kidding. They’re not important. They're only educated. Sort of. I used to do the journalism but now I only write for funzies.

These are all my reactions, thoughts, and culturally-influenced tidbits I noticed (because that is my jam). We'll talk about communist propaganda, we'll talk about transitional editing in film, we'll talk about historical dress translated to costume, we'll fangirl over our favorite moments and be sarcastic over everything else.

Let's ROLL:

- first thing's first, was that a goat on the bridge?! WAS THAT A GOAT. Is this foreshadowing already? Or did we just see the well known-star of the show already, somebody hold me

- This kind of happy intro to character backgrounds music is kind of throwing me. (This is the only time I reacted kind of meh in the sound dept.)

-Ok, that shot of the camera panning up the cane is sexy af. You know, the one from all the gifs we've been staring at the last month. We get to The Cane before you get introduced to Kaz even. Bc it’s important. I like that.

- Omfg when Kaz goes into the office and the DeKappel is hanging framed in on the wall... I am screaming

- "I only invest in one of a kind, she isn't like you. No one is." Easy does it, now

- Kaz is looking directly at the camera, directly at usssss ahhhhhh it’s kind of scary, I love it. It comes off as rather threatening, no?

- You can FELL when I scene transition is coming because they're doing that pan in pan out camera movement on a similar object, for example the painting of the fold to the actual fold, or the same motion a character is making. Takes me back to my true love and oscar winning editing team on Lord of the Rings. Imagine hadving 5 plot lines in different locations running at once (in RotK. lol at the editors, good luck making it all make sense

- Goddamn racist Ravkens, yeesh (x1)

- ZOYA. WOAH. Combing on a bit heavy with Mal, are we?

Stop talking about tumbling grisha, Mal, you’re making Alina feel worse hahah

- OH SHIT BOYS, IT'S PEKKA ROLLINS. He doesn't have a green coat, but he does have a heavy Scottish accent, so that's nice

- Alina's whole unit just got sent into the fold, ohhhhoho fuck that means everyone that died is her fault. ooooops.

- God, the skiff is just so cool. that shot of it right after they unfurl the sail is beautiful, jfc I am loving this. And the MUSIC and then a cut to silence and creaking ships noises and distant volcra. I did a presentation on sound editing in school and this reminds me of some moments from another Oscar-winning sound editing team that worked on Master & Commander

- Ship graveyard! Good way of establishing how deadly this place has been without saying it. And also the dead trees is pretty cool, I always thought of the Fold as just empty nothingness but the trees make it creepier

- A KAZ SMIRKY SMIRK!

- Casual showing of guns, always necessary

- I love how they use heartbeat sounds in the background when heartrenders are around

- I’m just really loving the sound editing, can you tell. It’s really important.

- Awaaa Inej being all like "omg saints! a sun summoner, wow, so holy!"

- OMFG HE SHOT HIM IN THE HEAD and lol Kaz doesn’t flinch

- Kaz really does stare right at the camera a lot and it’s kind of unnerving, which it probably is supposed to be, bc it’s establishing him as a no-nonsense boss, like this guy will fuck you up and be emotionless about it

- Hold on, did I miss who this mustache guy is even and why he wants Alina? I need to pay better attention

- Is the credits song the Ketterdam theme? I love me some good bouncy cello

...and that's the end of episode 1. Beautiful. Amazing. Word-building. Good sounds. Stay tuned for ep2.

ep1 | ep2 | ep3 | ep4 | ep5 | ep6 | ep7 | ep8

[tsarinastorm]

Feel Again-Charlie Barber/Reader-Chapter 1

You could feel the sunlight shining through the windows of the bookstore you were browsing through. It was a small, independent bookstore that had a mini café, showcased local authors and had writer’s events, it was the kind of bookstore that was hard to come across. It reminded you of the local bookstore back home that was your favorite, and this place in Los Angeles made it almost feel like home. You were a new transport to the city of angels, the decision to move was both easy and difficult. Your first book, a memoir, was well-received and made into a film whose screenplay you helped write. Your first novel was successful, and was now being made into a television series by a streaming service. When the producers ask you to be a consult on the series, you decided to move to LA and make a new life. You also taught seminars on writing and history at USC. You loved the warm weather, it was perfect for you to start your own little garden at the bungalow you were leasing, plus your dog, Freckles, loved having a yard.

               You browse the aisles and you grab a Russian history book before grabbing Meditations by Marcus Aurelius, a copy of Marina Carr’s latest play, and a couple new releases. On your way to the registers, you see a tall, handsome man with a pile of books head in the same direction. Your eyes meet and it gives you butterflies, it was the kind of thing writers write about but you had never experienced in real life before. You take a good look at him and notice he’s everything you find attractive in a man: tall, broad-shouldered with dark, thick hair, well-dressed, and obviously he has good taste for bookstores. He’s not wearing a wedding band either, you’re sure to make a mental note of that.

“Marina Carr is a brilliant playwright, one of the best of modern day.” He says, pointing towards the pile of books you’re carrying and he steps forward to the register. It takes you a moment to gather your thoughts and compose yourself before saying, “She’s one of my favorite writers. I’ve never actually seen any of her plays performed though.”

“There’s nothing like seeing a play being performed. I’m a theater director so I might be biased.” He chuckles and smiles at you. You can’t help but smile back at him, you respond with, “Well I’m a writer so I have a bias in favor of printed word.”

“Can’t argue with that, what do you write?” The man asks and you tell him that you’ve wrote a memoir, a novel, and are now writing screenplays. He goes to introduce himself, but his phone rings and he has to answer. He turns and says a few words hurriedly into the phone before turning back. He then says to you, “I’m sorry but I’ve got to get to work, it was really nice talking to you, I hope I’ll see you again.” He extends his hand to you and you take it. You notice that even though it was brief that his hand was warm and much larger than yours. You smile, nod, and watch him walk out of the store.

               You wonder if he’s a regular here, and then you begin to calculate how often you can make the trip to this bookstore. Maybe you should stop in more, and hopefully see him another time. You were intrigued and wanted to know more about him. But this was a big city, full of people moving in their own directions and it was more likely than not that you would never see him again.

*********************************************************

               It’s been a week since your encounter with the attractive, mystery man at the bookstore, and now you were on the other coast. Your former sorority sister, Blair, lived in NYC and convinced you to come visit her for the weekend. The two of you were now crammed in her small bathroom, trying to put on your makeup for the night while fitting in as much girl talk as possible. She was an off-Broadway actress, and you two were going out with some of her theater people. You had met several of them before when you were visiting and you looked forward to seeing them again. But you always felt sort of out of place with them because you weren’t a theater person and didn’t understand all of the inside jokes.

               The bar is already buzzing and you love the vintage, art deco style that exudes from the place. Blair is talking to a couple of people that she knows. She’s introduced to several of them, but you decide that it’s time to get a drink so you saunter off towards the bar. The man sitting there looks vaguely familiar but you can’t place him, until you’ve taken your seat, and given your order which makes him turn to look at you. Wow, it’s the mystery man or his doppelganger. He’s pretty unique looking so you figure it has to be him. Then it hits you, it is definitely the mystery man from Chevalier books with his signature style. You wonder: how did you possibly run into him again on the other side of the country? You can tell by the look on his face that he recognizes you at the same time, before breaking the silence.

               “You’re the writer from Chevalier books, I can’t believe I’ve ran into you again, and in New York of all places.” He says and stands up to move closer to you. You can’t help but follow suit and stand with your drink and take a step near him so you’re within a few feet of him. Trying not to be distracted by his freckles and hair that looks soft, instead, you smile and comment back, “You know what they say about a small world. I’m here visiting an old friend, what about you?”

               “I actually just moved to LA fulltime from New York, I’ve spent the past year commuting. I’m Charlie, Charlie Barber, and I regretted not getting your name last time I saw you.” He sticks out his hand to you, you take it then you nod your head for him to follow you. You sit together in the booth near where Blair is still chatting away. She notices you walk through and raises her eyebrows at you suggestively.

“I’m Y/N L/N, and I moved to LA only a few months ago. I had been commuting for a while then I decided I liked it well enough to live there fulltime. You do definitely strike me as a New York guy though.” You take a large sip of your drink, but you’re really feeling intoxicated by Charlie. There is something about that man that’s making you lose your head already. You were doomed, you knew it.

“This place was my life for so long. You don’t strike me as an LA girl or as a New York girl either.” He says and you hear the pang of sadness in his voice during the first sentence, for a theater director New York is the dream place to be, it must have been difficult for him to move. You’re curious what made him decide to leave the city he obviously loves, but you’ll save that question for later.

“I’m from a really small town in rural America, but I’ve spent the past few years travelling abroad while writing.” You’re used to explaining your accent, and you feel like you don’t really belong in any city. The two of you have moved closer to each other in the booth to where your sides are practically touching. You can feel the warmth radiating from him, and you take notice of his plump lips that look perfect for kissing. He leans in closer to you and his honey brown eyes watch yours.

“Where was your favorite place?”

“London has always been my favorite. I loved the architecture and culture of Florence,” you say as Blair and some of her friends join you at the booth. Charlie’s arm brushes against yours, and your leg tucks underneath his.

“Hi Charlie, hi Y/N. So do you guys know each other or did you just now meet?” Blair asks and you realize that Blair already knows Charlie. Of course she does as it hits you that they would have the connection in the theater world. Charlie answers her question, “We bumped into each other in a bookstore in LA, and then we were surprised to find each other here.”

“Hmm maybe it’s fate or the universe.” Blair says bluntly and you almost choke on your drink.  Charlie eyes you and smiles so you smile back. It might actually be fate, you think. Not that you were sure you believed in fate though. You notice a brunette that joined your table is giving a major side eye, to the point that it’s nearly a flat-out glare. You think her name is Mary Ann but you can’t remember for sure. You and Charlie continue your semi-private conversation, oblivious to the people around you.

“I ended up moving to LA for business reasons, to work on some screenplays. What about you?” You ask because you want to know what made him leave New York. You could also sense there was more underneath that he was leaving out. He had no obligation to tell you anything but you wanted to know everything about him.

“My son. My now ex-wife is an actress who unilaterally decided to just leave New York permanently for LA and take our son with her. After all that commuting for a year, I realized I needed to be there for Henry, so I took a residency at UCLA and got in with a well-respected theater company.” He grips his drink when he says that and you can tell it’s still a sore subject.

“Oh I’m sorry, that’s awful. I’m sure your son will appreciate your sacrifices when he gets older, and I’m sure it’s always worth it to put time in for your kid. When I was still practicing law, I would see all these couples tear each other apart to the point they ignored what they were putting their kid through.” You try to comfort him, and you admire his dedication to his son. You couldn’t imagine anyone wanting to divorce him.

“Henry just turned nine, any time with him is well worth it. Nicole and I tried to keep civil then it got nasty fast, and now we’ve cycled back where we co-parent effectively. You’re a lawyer too?” He asks you as his hand purposefully brushes yours. Your pinky reaches to hold onto his and he smiles at you while his eyes bore into yours.

“Regrettably, I graduated law school even though I knew it wasn’t for me, then I practiced for a brief time. I eventually accepted that it was draining me and making me miserable so I pursued writing, what I really wanted to do, and got my master’s in history.” You tell him and you just then notice that the two of you are alone in the booth again.

The two of you chat throughout the night about favorite books, movies, plays. You laugh as you watch the rest of your group participate in karaoke. Then they urge Charlie onstage, and you push him playfully in encouragement. He relents and goes. You can’t believe his voice, it’s beautiful and he remains eye contact with you during the entire song. You can feel a blush creeping up your cheeks.

“Can I get your number? It haunted me that I didn’t that day at the bookstore.” Charlie says as you come to a stop outside the bar. Blair is waiting for you but giving you space and privacy. It’s relieving to know he feels the same way. Your hand intertwines with his, and you respond smiling.

“Of course. The haunting went both ways.” He hands you his phone so you can add your number. You hand it back to him, and his hand goes around your waist, while yours grip his bicep.

“When we’re both in LA, can I take you out for dinner?” He asks innocently and you start nodding your head yes, and you’re certain you must look like a dashboard bobble head.

“Oh like a date?” You question incredulously. His hand rubs small circle on your waist and it feels electric. Damn, you’re already in too deep. You might as well write ‘sucker’ on your forehead, but you control yourself and try not to sound too eager.

“Yeah like a date, unless you don’t want it to be a date.” He looks like he’s hopeful, but he’s clearly questioning himself. He wants to give you a chance to back out and let you pace the relationship. If he only knew how into him you already were.

“No a date sounds fantastic. I really like you, and I had fun tonight.” You say and find yourself drifting even closer to him, if that was possible.

“Oh yeah? Good because I really like you too.” Then his hand cups your face ever so slowly and he descends his lips on yours. His lips are warm and soft against yours, your hands find their way to his chest then up around his neck. His tongue licks your bottom lip requesting entrance, which you give. You devour each other like you’ve been starving. Then, you both return to reality grinning as you slowly separate. You each are wearing a guilty-grin as  go your separate ways for now.

***************************************************************

This was your third official date with Charlie, and everything felt right. Your first date was dinner at an Italian place with drinks afterward at bar with rooftop terrace. The next morning, you grabbed breakfast and coffee together before heading to work. The second date was a picnic in the park, then exploring an outdoor art exhibit, and the next day you met for lunch. Tonight you went to see an Ibsen play and out for desserts. The two of you spent most of your time together talking about everything, and the dates would last for hours. He would talk about Henry, his previous marriage, and his upcoming play. You would talk about your books, screenplays, and your dogs. You had so much in common, it was crazy, but you also were different enough to keep it interesting. You could see it growing into love and becoming a long-term relationship. You were now walking back to his car, holding hands.

“Wow. I didn’t know if I could feel like this. I feel like the world is spinning, but in the best way. You know how in the summer when you first get in the car and you can feel the warmth, that’s how I feel when I’m with you.” You admit and you know it sounds cheesy. Before you really get to gauge his reaction, his lips are on yours, desperately as his hands wrap around your waist. He’s pulling you flush against him and you can feel both his heart pounding and his growing bulge against you. And fuck, he already feels big, but it would only make sense that he be proportionate. He stares into your eyes with his amber ones and tells you, “I never thought I could feel this way again, but here I am. I’m crazy for you.” You crash your mouth to his again, pulling him close, and you move your hips against his bulge.

               “You don’t have Henry this weekend, right?” You ask as you pant for air, pulling away from him briefly. He looks at you quizzically, trying to understand why you brought that up at this moment. Oh sweet, Charlie. You were going to take him home tonight and wreck him, but he thought you were meaning something else. You had wanted to bed him ever since that night in New York but you didn’t want to rush things or cheapen your connection. You had even wore a sexier dress tonight, had lace lingerie on underneath, and had a recent wax appointment. He answers, “No, not this weekend. What’s up?”

               “Good, you can stay at my place tonight then,” you chuckle and you watch as what you said clicks in his head. He leans and gives you a steamy kiss right under your ear, and he works his way down your neck. You can feel the heat gathering in your belly from just that, and you’re starting to get wet so you rub your thighs together desperately.

               You pull away from him only so you could get to his car. Driving to your place, Charlie placed his hand on your knee and you wrapped your hand around his, though you wanted nothing more than to move it upward between your legs, but you held yourself back. You could tell he was just as excited and eager as you were because he was hard already and his driving was faster than normal. Your eyes kept catching his and you were practically eye-fucking. Upon arrival in your driveway, he rushes out to open the car door for you.

               You step out and you both fast-walk towards your door. While you fumble with the keys, Charlie steps behind you and wraps his arms around your waist as your back is pressed into his chest. That’s certainly not helping your concentration. His hand creeps up so it’s under your breast, and his fingers trace your ribs. To make matters worse, his lips attach to your neck again and you can’t suppress the moan that comes out of your lips. You want to throw your head back and rock into him, but you need to get inside the bungalow first then he can fuck against the door or on the floor for all you care. You finally turn the key in the door and the instant you and Charlie step through the frame, you’re on each other.

[joleyssims]

UNDER CONSTRUCTION

Do you have what it takes to be America’s Next Drag Superstar? No? Me neither. Instead, here’s a challenge inspired by the winners of the previous ten seasons.

General Rules:

Cheats are allowed but like, don’t be excessive. Because where’s the fun in that?

Some goals require specific packs. If you don’t have them, substitute as necessary.

Not exactly a rule but you should tag me if you use this so I can follow the journey!

Note: This is my first crack at something like this, so, while I’m open to input/critique, be nice lol

Gen 1: Bebe Zahara Benet

Camerooooon! Or…El Selvadorada. Either way, you’re in a new place, coming from a foreign land. You are starting a legacy that everyone will look back on with admiration. Either that, or they’re squinting to see you through that awful lighting. Regardless, you are the first, the OG. So, act like it.  

Objectives:

Visit El Selvadorada five times

Max out the Selvadoradian Culture skill

Earn 20,000 simoleons before having your first child

Move to a different town at least twice  

Aspiration: Leader of the Pack

 Career: Politician (Politician Branch)

Traits: Perfectionist, Snob, Ambitious

Gen 2: Tyra Sanchez

With your parent setting the precedent, everyone is looking at you to see how you carry out their legacy. No pressure, right? It seems like everyone underestimates your talent. Big mistake. They also seem to underestimate your temper. Worse mistake. And you’ll show them. You’ll show them all.  

Objectives:

Max out the Mischief skill

Have at least three enemies

Get into fights at three festivals (does not have to be a different festival each time)

Optional: have an atrocious reputation

Aspiration: Public Enemy

Career: Criminal

Traits: Evil, Hot-Headed, Loner

Gen 3: Raja

Growing up was difficult due to a chaotic home life. Some may even call your parent notorious. But you? You rise above all that drama. You carry yourself a model-esque grace while still having a sense of humor. But you did inherit your parents’ opinionated tendencies. May as well put it to good use and write them all down.

Objectives:

Max out the Charisma and Media Production skills

Write a bestseller

Have three good non-familial friends

Aspiration: City Native

Career: Critic (Art Critic Branch)

Traits: Art Lover, Materialistic, Insider

Gen 4: All Stars

Your ancestors got it right, things seemed to work out for them. And now it’s your turn, and you’ve got a hunger for success. The world is your oyster, once you figure out how to open them. Just don’t get too caught up in competition.

Objectives:

Master an instrument or singing skill

Master any two other hobby-based skills

Get fired from or quit your first job 

Have six kids (for the six seasons of All Stars) 

Aspiration: Successful Lineage

Career: Business

Traits: Family-Oriented, Adventurer, Self-Absorbed

Gen 5: Jinx Monsoon

Your parents did their best to raise you well and prepare you to take on the world – and they succeeded. They were a bit unorthodox and unique, but hey, so are you. But unlike them, you are full of bright, colorful energy. You command the stage and have a clear talent. Off-stage, on the other hand, you’re a lovable nerd.

Objectives:

Master Acting and Singing Skills

Be nominated for a Starlight Accolade Award

Reach level 3 fame

Have at least 3 energy failures

 Aspiration: Master Actor/Actress

 Career: Actor/Actress

 Traits: Music Lover, Geek, Romantic

Gen 6: Bianca Del Rio

Your parent was a lovable underdog that rose to fame with talent and hard work. Bor-ring. You don’t take much seriously, but you won’t put up with anyone’s nonsense. Normally your cutting humor would rub people the wrong way, but you’re so darn funny and charming that people can’t help but laugh along.

Objectives:

Master Comedy and Charisma Skills

Write five ‘excellent’ long comedy routines

Publish a bestseller

Have more pets than kids

 Aspiration: Joke Star

 Career: Entertainer (Comedian Branch)

 Traits: Noncommittal, Mean, Self-Assured

Gen 7: Violet Chachki

Loud, boisterous personalities and raunchy jokes are just not your thing. You could never quite appreciate your parents’ sense of humor, and subsequently developed a bit of a stand-offish personality. But what you lack in a sense of humor, you make up for in good looks, so you use that to the best of your abilities.

Objectives:

Live in Del Sol Valley, eventually moving to a mansion in The Pinnacles

Always have a ‘fit’ or ‘thin’ body type

Steal something worth at least a thousand simoleons

Have at least two children

Aspiration: World-Famous Celebrity

Career: Athletic (Bodybuilder Branch)

Traits: Neat, Active, Kleptomaniac

Gen 8: Bob the Drag Queen

Growing up, you always felt closer to your comedian grandparent than your parent. You’ve decided to continue down that path, but with your own spin on it. You are also similar to some of your ancestors with your outspoken nature, and you want to focus that energy on doing what’s right.

Objectives:

Master the Comedy skill

Donate a total of 150,000 simoleons to charity

Be good friends with your sibling(s)

Aspiration: Renaissance Sim

Career: Politician (Charity Organizer Branch)

Traits: Good, Goofball, Outgoing

Gen 9: Sasha Velour

Your parent always fought for what they believed was right, and that has always been important to you. You may not have the same outgoing nature, but what you lack in extroversion you make up for in razor-sharp wit.

Objectives:

Master the Logic and Gardening skills

Attend all of the festivals and partake in the activities

Secure 30 votes

Aspiration: Freelance Botanist

Career: Politician 

 Traits: Vegetarian, Genius, Bookworm

Gen 10: Aquaria

You are the latest addition to an incredible legacy. When someone mentions your family, everyone knows what you’re talking about. It may be a lot to live up to, and not everyone thinks you can handle it. But you’re ready to take that on and make your ancestors proud.

Objectives:

Reach fame level 4

Master the Writing and Dance skills

Win 3 dance battles

(Optional): Do something to pay homage to your gen 4 ancestor

Aspiration: Fabulously Wealthy

Career: Social Media (Internet Personality Branch)

Traits: Creative, Dance Machine, Cheerful

[incorrect-miiverse]

Miis React to the Wiki Profiles Ep. 1: Polly

(If you’ve seen this blog in its more humble beginnings, I had a lot of Polly reactions, and for good reason. She is one of my favorite Miis in the Wii U/3DS/Switch era purely for how absolutely precious she is! Why limit the cuteness to just reaction images? Anywho, this series is for me to imagine what Miis would say or do when they see their fandom wiki page, and I’ll try to incorporate their appropriate cultures if explicitly stated. Enough talk though, let’s get started! Look up the Wii Party U CPUs and go to Polly for following along. It won’t let me keep the link in post. >:( -Admin)

Polly: Right then, what’ve I been dragged into? She sees the computer with the tab opened to the Fandom page. (Reading) “Wii Sports Wiki?” Is this a Meta universe?

Her face lights up in a big smile as her eyes scan her own Wiki.

Polly: *she gasps, clapping her hands* Oh, so it’s MY page? Yay! Does this mean it’s a reverse Isekai? Y’know, being put in a fantasy world, innit? ....Nevermind. Let’s see ‘ere...

Polly: (reading) “Polly, not to be confused with...Holly?” Why would someone confuse the two of us? One’s fugly, the other is me. *shrugs* But anyhow... (she continues) “In Boxing, she is a Grade *1, making her the second Pro Class Beginner-” After Rie, of course. “..In Tennis and Baseball, she is one of the best players at Grade *10 and is also a Pro.” See, this is why you pay attention to Polly. I’ll ‘ave you know, I’m at the top of my class in Tennis and Baseball, so I know how to hit people with objects. *sinister smirk* It’s FUUUN.

Polly: (continuing on) “In Wii Party U, Polly is a Master Mii.” Go back to my previous statement. “Trivia.” Right, so you people like doing this for fun? Aw, that much effort put into little ol’ me. <3 So there’s badge stuff and whatnot, but you fans don’t care about that? Neither do I. “She appears in Splatoon 2 as an Inkling” Coz they’re all cute, and yellow’s another of my favorite colors. “She appears on artwork...” blah blah, Yellow Pikmin, I couldn’t choose the color, but I like the yellow ones coz they’re also cute. *a big cheeky grin* “According to Mario Kart 8, she’s British.” Of course, I’m not some lame YANK swine. *she laughs, slowly turns to camera* WHY WOULD I BE?

Polly: Blah, Pro status stuff, and also Mario Maker 2 stuff. I wore a nice lil’ Nintendo shirt, (in a muffled breath) praise be to Lord Shigsy-san. “She’s the only Mii with that hair.” I dunno why I wear it like that, but I just do. :/ “In MK8, she often appears in the Kirby suit within the promotional art of the game..-” YES. Kirby is my Boyo who goes Poyo. Look at all of my items in the back there, I love him. He just goes (in Kirby-esque voice) Poyo! Poyo! Poyo! *pulls out her phone* KiRbY’S CaLLiNG ThE PoLicE.

Polly scrolls down to the pictures of herself.

Polly: *clapping again* Oh, there’s loads of pictures! Yay! Ok, what’s this? *clicks on a picture of Miitopia couple Polly and Alphonse, face drops, and she grabs her phone again* POLLY’S CALLING THE POLICE! (you already know what this is - Admin)

Polly: Now what’s this one here? A picture of Polly with Millie shows up, and she gets a bright red blush across her entire face. Clutching her chest, she starts to randomly smile and get giggly, covers her face with her hands. We hear a slightly muffled squeal before she uncovers her completely red face. C-Can I...Keep this picture? Please? I-I-I...Just think this is really nice an’... STOP WINDING ME UP! *frantically clicks around and saves the photo* Ok, Next?

Polly: *clicks on Kirby racing suit pic* Seeeee? I love Kirby to pieces! I mean I’d do lots for more Kirby stuff, but not anything....

Polly: And another Miitopia set, but this time not cursed. This one has me in a tank? It’s that fairy dance, but instead it’s POLLY TANK TIME.

Polly: And now I’m an elven girl...? In Faustine’s Adventure? *scrolls through her phone* Does she even know about this Wiki’s existence, or the fact that someone made an adventure for her? Right, I think I’ll let her know.

She calls up Faustine, pulling up the [Miitopia video]. After a while of ringing, the phone finally picks up while the video plays.

Faustine: (on the phone) Hello? Polly? Is something wrong?

Polly: No, no. I just found something very interesting. Do you know about this bloody Wii Sports Wiki? Where we’ve all got profiles and mugshots?

Faustine: *a beat, then clicking and typing in the background* I’m gonna look this up, this Wii Sports Wiki... Why do you ask? Do they have unflattering shots of me?? Cease and Desist time??

Polly: Wait! Don’t do that, just look yourself up, you won’t be disappointed. I’ll call you back though. Bye!

Faustine: ...OK...bye?

She hangs up the phone and scrolls further down, seeing the comments section FILLED.

Polly: Wow, there’s even comments on us here. What do they even say? “Is she the only Mii with a side ponytail? Yes.” I don’t know anyone else who has one...? “Her favorite color is...brown?” Unless you mean that absolute Karen, Claudia, then yes, you’re right. But, uhhhh... *she gestures to her black dress she is wearing* Not me. Sorry. “She needs to go to fashion jail for that side ponytail” *gets a bit teary* ...Why? I like it this way. I’ve always worn it like this, I thought it looked okay... “Smelly Socks of Molly Shiting?” What immature child does that? Geez.. *now she’s sad*

Polly: Well, looks like that’s the gist of everything, and everyone else finds me very very cute. :) Thanks for having me read this article! It’s been a ride, I guess. But now, I’m gonna cry over that picture with Millie... OH MY GOD THE VIDEO HAS HER TOO-!

End.

I hope you all enjoyed this, please let me know if you like this kind of stuff by giving me feedback, and stay tuned for more. (I’m either gonna go with Faustine, Millie or Matt the Wuhu Island Destroyer. Likely Faustine due to the setup...)

[precuredaily]

Precure Day 134

Episode: Futari wa Precure Splash Star 36 - “What to Make? Mai’s Worries and the Cultural Festival” Date watched: 19 June 2019 Original air date: 15 October 2006 Screenshots: https://imgur.com/a/wZe5V3H Project info and master list of posts: http://tinyurl.com/PCDabout

I showed you my disguise please respond

I really like how this show has slowly been building up to the cultural festival ever since the girls returned to school. The first mention of it I can recall was way back in episode 31 when Kenta was scouting a partner for his manzai act, and it came up again in episode 34, when Saki gave Kazuya advice on his own school’s festival. Now it’s time to get into full swing, as we see the girls of Yuunagi Jr. High preparing for their own. The art club is in charge of designing a monument, while Saki’s class is preparing to put on a haunted house. Additionally, Kenta and Miyasako can be found practicing for their manzai show in their spare moments. Meanwhile in Dark Fall, Kintolesky is getting grilled for his repeated failures, and Akudaikaan tells him he needs to come up with a better strategy than his head-on assaults. He doesn’t like this advice very much, but he sets out to observe the students working and figure out a plan.

There’s a problem with all the prep, though: Mai has artist’s block, because she has trouble drawing to a theme, and there’s also a lot of pressure on her to design a good monument.

With only a week to go until the festival, she’s losing confidence in herself, but Saki cheers her up. A day later, she still doesn’t have anything, and when Saki comes to see her, Mai bursts into tears.

well she is a millennial, it’s very stressful situation

(Okay actually these are tears of joy/relief after Saki tells Mai that she’s always liked the drawings that Mai seemed to enjoy making and she should just draw what she likes for this)

Mai goes home that night and finally has a spark of inspiration. She presents her idea the next day and everyone loves it so she has the art club get to work bringing her vision to life. All the prep is going well and the festival is just a few days away, and Kintolesky continues observing them trying to come up with a strategy. After two days of contemplation he finally decides to set his master plan in motion: he steals Saki’s pumpkin head prop and sneaks up on Mai. Then he reveals himself to her and throws the head away, satisfied that he has accomplished his assignment, but he accidentally throws it right into the still under construction statue, damaging it.

He straight up apologizes for damaging the statue but Mai is still upset, and Saki shows up looking for her pumpkin head, and gets upset that he’s damaged both Mai’s statue and her mask. He urges them to transform so they do, and it’s a Bright and Windy type of day. This time, Kintolesky really ramps up his fighting style. He’s throwing trees, swinging on vines, coming at the girls from every direction. It’s a great battle and the duo are barely holding their own, even with their wind and light attacks. Kin creates an Uzainaa out of a bunch of tools that are lying around but he still does most of the fighting himself. He gets particularly upset when the girls reveal that they were preparing for a cultural festival, because in his view these are a waste of time, and he only values athletic festivals.

This doesn’t sit well with the heroines, who espouse how hard they and all their friends have worked on every aspect of this festival, and with the help of Moop and Foop making their only appearance in this entire episode, they power up with the Spiral Rings and dispel the villains. Kin quips that strategizing really isn’t for him and runs off.

That evening, the art club completes work on the statue and the whole class is admiring it. It really is lovely.

Mai explains that her feeling was that people can fly higher with the help of others than they can on their own, and that’s what she tried to convey with the statue. In particular, she admits that she designed the statue with her and Saki in mind, and you can definitely see how the two figures at the top resemble them. Mai says she feels that she can be the most at ease around Saki, so she can fly the highest when holding Saki’s hand. Saki returns the sentiment, and the two of them pose just like the statue, closing out the episode.

They’re too cute

Okay, there’s an elephant in this room that I need to address. The Art Club basically decided Mai would design the monument without asking her if she wanted to. She didn’t volunteer for it, not even tepidly, she was voluntold. They had a vote and decided she should do it.

LOOK AT HER FACE. She is so uncomfortable with this situation, and who could blame her? This is a tremendous amount of pressure that has just been placed on her shoulders without her consent. This lays the groundwork for the entire episode, and it’s the rare instance in Precure where I find myself actively hating the message they’re pushing, or at least they way they go about it. (off the top of my head, there’s another in Princess Precure where Haruka is losing sleep to make a dress) It doesn’t matter that the outcome was ultimately positive, you cannot just force someone into this situation. If they had at least showed her agreeing to try to design the monument, or being part of a group that was designing it, or shown her being unwilling but then she got encouragement from her friends and then volunteering, I would be fine. But they shoulder her with this burden and the episode plays off her stress without comment. I cannot stand that.

Ignoring that she was pretty much forced to do this, I like that they show her struggling, because seeing the support that her friends give her through her trial is nice, and the spark of inspiration being that very friendship is wonderful. The monument itself is beautifully designed and I would honestly love to see it in real life. Mai has come a long way from just drawing people and objects that catch her attention.

Kintolesky is being peak Kintolesky this go-round and it’s hilarious. After being tasked with coming up with an actual plan rather than just fighting the girls, after all that observation, the best he can do without compromising his morals is to sneak up on Mai. In the fight, he is in top form (sorry Saki), and it’s glorious. He gives the girls a run for their money and they give him one right back. There’s a lot of moving back and forth and striking and blocking, and the Uzainaa is almost pointless but hey, gotta get that miracle drop in. My favorite part is how he accidentally damages Mai’s still under construction statue and, without hesitation, apologizes for it. He was only trying to sneak up on her and declare a fight, he didn’t want to actually break her work. Saki shows up, angry, and he says again that he is sorry and didn’t intend for that to happen. When have you ever heard a villain apologize before in this show? It’s just more reasons why Kintolesky is the best.

Lastly, I like how they show everybody preparing for their roles in the cultural festival. The prep work we got in FW and MH was in the form of the class rehearsing for their play, we didn’t see any haunted houses or statues or maid cafes or whatever other staples of anime cultural festivals you can think of. So showing that effort was a welcome change.

Next time, we get to see what all the hard work was for! Or do we? Look forward to it!

Pink Precure Catchphrase Count: 0 Zekkouchou Nari

Miracle Drop Count: 3

[amandajoyce118]

Chilling Adventures of Sabrina Part 2 Easter Eggs And References

I finally finished watching this set of episodes last week, and finally got to type out all of Easter eggs and references this weekend. There will, of course, be spoilers for the episodes here, but I have a feeling anyone interested in Easter eggs has probably already watched the episodes by now.

Enjoy!

Chapter 12: The Epiphany

The Spinning Clothes Change

Well, this is straight out of the Melissa Joan Hart era of Sabrina Spellman, isn’t it?

Sister Shirley Jackson

Shirley is one of the members of the coven. Shirley Jackson, however, isn’t a fictional character. That name belongs to the woman who wrote The Haunting Of Hill House, now adapted into its own Netflix series. Brother Lovecraft is also mentioned, which is probably a nod to HP Lovecraft.

Dorian’s Grayroom

If you don’t understand that Dorian here is the title character from Oscar Wilde’s Dorian Grey, I’m going to guess you haven’t had any classic lit in your English classes yet. You will, don’t worry.

Salome

The entertainment at Dorian’s is actually a woman straight out of the Bible. She’s also the subject of an Oscar Wilde play, so someone’s a Wilde fan.

“They go low, we go high.”

Roz is a Michelle Obama fan. Another reason to like her.

“The half-witch must not ascend…”

This word choice seems purposeful considering Sabrina is from the same showrunner as Riverdale where we have a bunch of kids running around Riverdale trying to “ascend” with the Gargoyle King.

Chapter 13: The Passion Of Sabrina Spellman

Bye Bye Birdie

It’s funny that Sabrina starred in the Baxter High version of this play since the actress also dealt with it quite a bit when she was in Mad Men. Cute nod.

The Play’s Color Palette

Did anyone else get a Baz Luhrmann Romeo and Juliet vibe from this play? Or was it just me?

Archie Comics At Cerberus’

Both the regular Archie comics as well as Afterlife with Archie can be glimpsed on shelves in the store.

Theo’s Locker

Theo’s high school story feels very Carrie at times. His locker being filled with feminine products is one of those times. Fittingly, Riverdale did Carrie: The Musical in an episode as well. So, you know the showrunner is a big fan.

Chapter 14: Lupercalia

So Many Archie Comics

Sometimes, it seems like that’s all the comic book store in town has. But it’s not, as we will see in the next episode.

Adam

So, there is a Dr. Masters in Archie Comics. The character here, and the character in the comics, don’t share the same first name though, which is likely purposeful since another Dr. Masters appeared on Riverdale as well. While his last name is likely a nod to the comics, his first name is likely a nod to the mythology of Lilith. The story goes that Lilith was created before Eve, that she was actually Adam’s first wife, before leaving the garden, thinking for herself, and also being branded as the world’s first demon, Lucifer’s first wife, or the world’s first witch, depending on the interpretation of the story. It’s fitting that Lilith gets a chance with another Adam.

Chapter 15: Doctor Cerberus’ House Of Horrors

Mrs. McGarvey

She’s played by science fiction actress Veronica Cartwright. She was in such classics as Alien, The Birds, Invasion of the Body Snatchers, and The Witches of Eastwick. She also appeared in TV classics like The Twilight Zone and Alfred Hitchcock Presents.

Wonder Woman And Aquaman

The long shots of the comic book store reveal images of Wonder Woman and Aquaman on the shelving, so, now we know they sell something other than Archie comics.

Arkham

The DC universe gets another shoutout when Harvey has his reading. The school he supposedly gets into is the Arkham Colony of the Arts, a nod to the asylum for Batman’s many villains.

Howard

Interestingly, also during Harvey’s reading, his roommate Howard is a familiar face for Riverdale fans. The same actor plays Dr. Curdle Jr. on Riverdale. Now, we don’t know if Curdle’s first name is Howard or not, but it would be a nice nod to the double appearance of Ben Button on the show last season and on Riverdale. I’m curious if Greendale is like and alternate reality for the Riverdale universe at this point.

Chapter 16: Blackwood

Ray Wise

He plays the Antipope here. Ray Wise loves to play devilish characters. He’s frequently a bad guy. In fact, he already played the devil for the show Reaper. Who else was on Reaper? Aunt Hilda herself, Lucy Davis.

Chapter 17: The Missionaries

Sabrina On Her Bike

The music that plays and Salem accompanying her definitely reminded me of the Wicked Witch of the West in the Wizard of Oz, no?

Jerethiel

If anybody was paying attention to “Jerry” before the reveal that these witch hunters were angels, they would have noticed the name on his nametag. That suffix is a dead giveaway for his angelic roots. Also, cute that these angels are inspired by the Mormon religion, though I’m sure the Mormons don’t appreciate being depicted as the bad guys.

“God will forgive your original sin…”

This line confuses me since “original sin” was supposed to be eating from the tree of knowledge. Essentially, free will is original sin. But it doesn’t actually seem like that’s what the witch hunters are references, but rather just the sinful behavior of the witches in general. It’s an odd phrasing, so I threw it in here.

Sabrina The Savior

Not only does Sabrina get the crown of thorns, but she also gets pierced in the side, and holds a crucifixion pose to get things done. The imagery is clear.

Chapter 18: The Miracles Of Sabrina Spellman

(Side note: I love that Harvey made the Dark Phoenix comparison here. Anyone who has ever seen anything related to X-Men would have likely had the same thought. Sabrina not appreciating that Harvey compares her to a comic book when their entire lives are out of a comic book is also really amusing.)

Methuselah

His name is a reference to the longest living man in the Bible. But he’s played by the incomparable William B. Davis AKA the Smoking Man from the X-Files.

Chapter 19: The Mandrake

Sweetwater River

The ritual Sabrina is supposed to partake in involves making a golem and drowning your double at Sweetwater River. Sweetwater is the river that separates Greendale from Riverdale. It’s also where Jason Blossom was lost and Cheryl Blossom almost died - a set of twins, or doubles as it were. Nice symmetry.

The Ghost

The sheet thrown over Lilith’s new Adam before he tries to kill Sabrina is an homage to one of Michael Myers’ kills in Halloween.

Mandrake-Sabrina’s Scream

Okay, my first thought here was that it was a nod to the idea of mandrake roots looking like babies and how they were used in the Harry Potter series. (The Mandrake scream being fatal once mature.) But it also works as a nod to the screeching in Invasions of the Body Snatchers. We’ll call it a double egg.

Chapter 20 The Mephisto Waltz

The Episode Title

It’s taken from Mephisto, or Mephistopheles, a high ranking demon in German folklore. It’s also the name of a demon in Marvel comics, but that’s probably not related. It’s also the name for the devil in Faust, which makes another person with a name for the devil (Nick Scratch) becoming the literal embodiment of the devil rather poetic here.

“Ashes, ashes, he falls down dead…”

I like that the sisters decide to kill Blackwood using a spell to the tune of “Ring Around The Roses,” which was actually a song about a plague. Were they trying to give him a plague? Fitting.

“Not today, Satan.”

Glad to see modern pop culture makes its way into Greendale outside of horror movies and comic books.

The Archies

Sabrina still has her thermos for the fictional Archie comics band in her room. I’m sure there are tons of Easter eggs in her room if we could actually see everything. Just like Harvey still having Archie artwork on his walls.

Masquerade

The song is from Phantom of the Opera, in case anyone watching the show doesn’t love musical theater as much as the rest of us.

That’s it! That’s all I’ve got, though I’m sure I’ve missed some since I’m not as well versed in horror and probably didn’t catch all of the movie references.

[themovieblogonline]

Blue Eye Samurai Slices Through Emmy Competition

When it comes to animation, few series have cut through the noise like Netflix’s "Blue Eye Samurai." This visually stunning series, which combines breathtaking animation with a compelling narrative, has earned a well-deserved spot among the nominees for Outstanding Animated Program at the 76th Primetime Emmy Awards. The Samurai’s Path to the Emmys "Blue Eye Samurai" has quickly become a standout in the world of animated television. It’s not every day you see a show that blends historical drama with samurai action and layers it with a deep dive into identity and vengeance. The Emmy nomination is just the latest feather in its cap. The show is coming off a strong showing at the Annie Awards earlier this year where it took home six wins. But it’s not just about pretty visuals. This series goes deep, slicing through the complexities of its characters with precision. The story follows Mizu, a mixed-race master of the blade, navigating the treacherous world of Edo-period Japan. The show doesn’t just entertain; it challenges viewers, making them question ideas about identity, culture, and revenge. If that doesn’t scream Emmy-worthy, I don’t know what does. Outstanding Sound Editing: A Category Apart Adding another arrow to its quiver, "Blue Eye Samurai" has also been nominated for Outstanding Sound Editing for a Comedy or Drama Series (Half-Hour) and Animation. This is where the series truly flexes its muscles! Each clash of swords, every footstep on gravel, and the faintest whisper of a bamboo forest are meticulously crafted to immerse the viewer fully into its world. It's like stepping into feudal Japan without leaving your living room. The Emmy-nominated episode, "The Tale Of The Ronin And The Bride," exemplifies this excellence. The sound team, including Myron Nettinga, Paulette Lifton, and Sam Hayward, among others, has created an auditory landscape that’s as rich and layered as the show’s narrative. They didn’t just edit sounds; they sculpted an experience. Facing the Competition Let’s not forget the other heavyweights in the ring: "Bob’s Burgers," "The Simpsons," "Scavengers Reign," and "X-Men ’97." These shows are the Michael Jordans of animation, consistently bringing their A-game year after year. But "Blue Eye Samurai" isn’t here to play nice—it’s here to win. What sets it apart? For one, it's not your typical animated fare. This series is more like a graphic novel brought to life, with its intricate art style and mature themes. It's the kind of show that gets under your skin, makes you think, and leaves you pondering long after the credits roll. The creators of "Blue Eye Samurai" didn’t just make a show—they crafted an experience. The Road Ahead With a second season already confirmed, it’s clear that "Blue Eye Samurai" is here to stay. Co-creator Michael Green has teased that the story is plotted out for at least three or four seasons. He confirmed the team knows exactly where they want to take Mizu’s journey. The Emmy nomination is not just a recognition of what the show has accomplished so far, but a promise of what’s to come. As we await the Emmy Awards, one thing is clear: "Blue Eye Samurai" has already won the hearts of its viewers. Whether it takes home the gold or not, it’s made a mark that won’t soon be forgotten. So, sharpen your blades and keep an eye on this one—it's just getting started. Read the full article

[iakes-on-amasakas-archive]

💋, 👾, 🎨, 🌍, ⌛️,🍺 ((PlayKinshara/Rose))

From here || Keep ’em coming!SEND AN EMOJI TO LEARN HOW GOOD/BAD MY MUSE IS AT THAT PARTICULAR SKILL!

💋 — kissing

Haaaaaa, well - good and bad are such subjective words. The truth is, Shinji’s kissing style is loads of fun for some people, and is utter torture for others. He likes to play. He’s a bit of a tease. He likes sweet, little pecks interspersed with sucking on lips and tongues, and he sometimes likes to talk in between kisses. And never forget that he’s got that nifty tongue ring - some partners think it’s fun and sexy, and others think it’s gross and kind of extra. Shinji can adapt to his partners’ preferences within reason, of course, but ultimately, a partner who likes a little spontaneity and some lighthearted fun is going to have a better time than one who’s looking for die-hard romance. (That said - I haven’t written Shinji in any romantic and/or sexual situations yet. With the right partner, I could see him being pretty sweet. He’s cringing at that idea right now, but eh. Give him time.)

Putting the rest under the cut, cuz this got long~

👾— video games

He’s great at video games. He likes them, too. They come naturally to him, the same way fighting does. He doesn’t have to think - he just goes, following the impulses of his body, and flowing naturally with the world onscreen, just like he does with the world around him when he’s engaged in combat. He’s one of those guys who just gets physical stuff, and video games are an extension of that. He prefers combat-based games with tricky combination moves to, say, RPGs. He’ll kick your ass at Smash and Mortal Kombat, but he gets bored by Skyrim and Fallout after an hour or two. Unsurprisingly, he’s also dope at Portal.

Hiyori beats him at Mario Kart every time, though. He’s still not sure why he keeps agreeing to play.

🎨 — art

Ha! Oh, gosh. Oh, gosh. We’re talking visual art here? Oh, my gosh. He’s so bad at this, y’all. So bad. 

His handwriting is really messy, and any attempts he’s ever made at visual art aren’t much better. He doesn’t attempt very often, because he just doesn’t care that much, and he knows how to stay in his lane - but it’s almost comical how awful his “work” is, on the rare occasions when he feels compelled to try. 

Shinji is one of those guys who either picks things up really quickly and excels at them, or doesn’t pick things up quickly and then gets annoyed when he’s bad at them. Fortunately, he’s good at just about everything he tries, so he doesn’t encounter the latter too often - but that just makes his few ineptitudes even more frustrating. 

Basically, Shinji’s art looks like if a big, dumb bear on crack grabbed a paintbrush in its mouth and whacked a canvas with it repeatedly. It’s plenty colorful, so that’s something - but that’s just about its only redeeming quality. Shinji would probably tell you that it would sell for millions if it were marketed as a modern abstract, and frankly, he might be right. But at the end of the day, that’s bullshit, and the art itself is still pretty trash. 

If Shinji were ever seized by the compulsion to pursue art, he could probably get somewhere. His inevitable self-portrait would probably be brightly bold and pretty slapdash - nothing realistic. It would be one of those pieces that involves a lot of thick paint with hard, scrape-y lines drawn through them with spackling tools. Probably lots of primary colors. His eyes would look totally crazed, and his hair would be these really unsettling straight lines jutting out of his improperly-shaped head. It would be kinda freaky. But then again - Shinji is a bit of a freak, in his own way, and he’s not afraid of it. So, I dunno. Maybe it would be pretty spot-on, when all is said and done.&nbsp

Huh. Thanks for this one in particular, @playkinshara​. I’ve never considered any of this before.

🌍 — knowledge of the world

Shinji’s knowledge of the world he’s experienced firsthand is stellar. He understands things quickly, and though he doesn’t always understand why various cultural practices are worth anyone’s time, he appreciates the history and the context, and adheres by them for the sake of propriety and politeness. He’s kinda over some of it, internally, and he’ll only do the bare minimum if he thinks a particular practice is stupid, but he’ll never voice that. He knows how to be respectful, and he understands that not everyone’s morals and values align with his own. 

He has some knowledge of the world beyond his own experience. In Soul Society, he was always fascinated by the cultural movements of the World of the Living - particularly music, fashion, and other cultural trends adjacent to those things (like dance and film, for example). His interests aren’t at all limited by geography. As I mentioned in another answer, he reads a lot, and he absorbs knowledge quickly. There’s plenty that he doesn’t know, but if the stakes are low, he doesn’t have any trouble admitting his ignorance and asking questions. He can intuit plenty, and what he can’t intuit, he finds out for himself. He’s a curious guy, and he knows it’s in his best interest to know more, rather than less.

⌛️ — time management

Shinji is… pretty average at this, at best. He’s never grossly late for official business, but occasionally, he’ll roll up a minute or two behind schedule because he got caught up in listening to a record (skipping out when a track is only halfway over is blasphemy in his book) or getting himself ready (if he’s not wearing his uniform, he’s gotta look snappy, after all). He works efficiently, and spends just enough time on things like paperwork to be thorough, but not so much that he often feels bogged down. He makes sure to budget appropriate amounts of time for both work and leisure, and he’s good at staying focused throughout those allotted time periods. He never needs to be nagged to get his ass in gear and get his work done, but he also won’t be thrilled if you interrupt his personal time for a matter of business.

🍺 — alcohol tolerance

Haaaaaaa. Y’all. Have you seen Shinji. The man is a stick. 

That said, his alcohol tolerance is marginally better than people often expect it to be. Plus, he’s not an idiot. If he knows he has a night of drinking ahead of him, he’ll pound half a pizza beforehand. He’s also mastered the art of making it look like he’s keeping pace with the group, when really, he’s been sipping on the same beer for about two hours. On that note - he’ll do shots if someone really insists, but he prefers beer to everything else. It lasts longer, and it’s nice and cold, and he likes the taste best.  (Though, once he discovered weed in the human world, he rapidly developed a new preference. One of his favorite things ever is to come back at the end of a long day, light up a joint, put on a record, and leave all his cares behind, if only for a few hours.)

[robbiwrites717]

Master list of my Davekat fic recs.( SFW LIST HERE ) I wanted to include my thoughts about each fic but it’s been well over a year since I read most of them and it would have been exhausting to read back through all of them so i just included the authors’ summaries instead. I have major respect for every fic and author on this list, seriously they’re amazing <3 Happy Reading !

All I Know Are Sad Songs - by ayyyy(RosaAquafire) - Alpha TImeline - Ch 36/?-  122731 words

The world is ending. Dave Strider can't tell if the bender he's on is because of that, or because of how bad stuff is fucked up with Rose, or just because his own bullshit has finally caught up to him. All he knows is that if the world DOES end today, maybe that wouldn't be the worst thing.Of course, he can't throw in the towel. His fate is already written. He raises a resistance. He duels the false presidents. He stands against the Empress herself. So maybe that's why Skaia allows a glitch that carries a consciousness across sessions that might save Dave's shitty life. (this is the only fic I’ll put my own notes on because it is absolutely and unequivocally my favorite fic ever. I almost didn’t read it because of the tags but the author handles every issue so seriously and beautifully, I can not stess enough how amazing this fic is!!!)

A wish upon a fountain or a falling start - by twofoldaxiom - Fantasy AU - Ch 25/25 - 51379 words

Your name is Karkat Vantas and you fell from the sky.You hadn't meant to; you were trying to make a wish by catching a fallen star by the tail. The star turned out to be stronger than you. Now, on Earth, alone and unsure of yourself, what can you do except find someone who might believe? And what do you do when you yourself start to question?

a fever you’re learning to live with - by callmearcturus - post sburb/sgrub - Ch 1/1 - 3974 words 

This feels like winning. You are learning to live with the feeling more and more, like building up a poison resistance.

A Stunning Tour De Force - by Rag - Earth C - Ch 1/1 - 5101 words

"A triumph."

-Dave Strider, about getting his dick sucked for the first time

All I Can Taste Is The Sugar In Your Hair - by LandofMistandSecrets - Earth C - Ch 1/1 - 13614

Trickster Dave is a god damn treasure and no one can tell me otherwise.Some scenes from the Rosemary wedding, but really, this is about Dave being high on cherub candy and really, really, really wanting his boyfriend to fuck him. (Not intended to be dubcon, but if you have issues with altered mental states or pushy partners in the context of an established relationship it might be not great for you! Take care.)

Alternia Shuffle - by Essynkardi & twofoldaxiom - 1950s/detective AU- Ch 2/? - 4646 words

Your name is Dave Strider, and you're a twenty-six year old detective working for the Alternia City Police Department as senior officer Pyrope's partner and occasional chewtoy. It's already a messy job, but it gets messier when you end up the sole witness to an assassination during an art exhibit.Now you have to simultaneously cover your ass and uncover all the clues to find out who did it and who could be next, and things only get more complicated when you have to face a few things you've been covering up yourself.

Beauty Is In The Eye Of The Guy With Slightly More Self-Esteem - by LandofMistandSecrets - Earth C- Ch 1/1 - 7347 words 

Dave is really attracted to his boyfriend, and determined to prove it.

Believe M When I Say Fuck - by Rag - earth c - Ch 1/1 - 4997 words

karkat goes and fucks himself

By the Letter (of the law) -  by Asuka Kureru(Askerian) - Ch 4/4 - 10582 words 

"No, but answer me this, do you want to invalidate this whole farce of a legal and religious joining of blah-di-fucking-blah? Because I have looked at your laws and if we don't consummate the union it's not valid!"

Anonymous asked: Davekat. Arranged marriage! The first time they are alone together is on their wedding night.

Now with actual sex, woo! Also several pages of Karkat and Dave being the dorkiest knights ever knighted.

Dave Strider Has Abs - by Miriage - High School AU (not explicit but i forgot to put it on my sfw list :/)

"Your name is Karkat Vantas and you’re mad.You’re really really really fucking mad.You’re mad because Dave-fucking-Strider has abs.Has serious abs.Has abs that you could grate shit on.Has abs that would make girls fall over and die.Has abs that gay men would weep for."

Dive in Deeper - by carnivorousBelvedere - Vacation AU - Ch 4/7 - 8298

Karkat is going on vacation during his birthday with Rose and Kanaya. They gift him a scuba certification class.The catch?Dave is taking it with him.

egg pun - by Rag - earth c - Ch 1/1 - 4518 words

dave and karkat explore the magical world of eggs

Flight Recorder From Viking 7 - by Royalrastafariannaynays - Space/Future/Pilots AU - Ch 7/7 - 31136 words

Dave Strider is a way-too-lonely transport pilot assigned to a high-pay low-stakes mission over the Christmas holiday. He's got a blistering hangover, a conscience full of nightmares, and an angry copilot. All he needs now is a nice bout of feeling worthless and-- well would ya look at that, he's got that, too. Time for takeoff, Houston, the water's just fine.Or: In which Dave Strider discovers a modicum of self worth while stuck on a trip through foreign space, with a short, irritable, and annoyingly attractive troll as his only conversational partner for the next two weeks.

Helter Skelter - by HexMeridan(myrainbowshoelaces) - post sburb-sgrub - Ch 1/1 - 6281 words

Dave gets a visit from Future Dave, and between the two of them, they give Karkat the night of his life. Over and over again.

Hit the Deck: A davekat fic- by awkwardfawn - restaurant AU - Ch 15/? - 68875 words

I present a story in which Karkat works at a restaurant where you're supposed to be rude to the customers. It's sort of the gimmick there. Normally he can handle what he's given at work and give it right back, but this just might be the straw that breaks the load. Little does our kitkat know that Dave can dish the shit better than anyone out there. Sarcastic adult boys will be sarcastic. I hope this will be as slow burning as I want it to be, but then again it probably won't.

Inveterate - by Rag - earth C - Ch 1/1 - 4441 words 

dave and karkat try bdsm

it goes well until it doesnt

Just A Thing We Do - by LandofMistandSecrets - Earth C - Ch 1/1 - 14941 words 

“Apparently, you inspired him to try initiating amorous… activities… over these stupid devices!” Karkat waved his phone at him, punctuating the accusation. “Do you actually just casually proposition Dirk while he’s busy with other people?!”Jake shot him a wide-eyed look, freezing halfway through shoveling a handful of popcorn in his mouth. He slowly lowered his hand, blinking rapidly, eyebrows furrowing behind his glasses. “I -- well, what’s that to any of you, exactly?”(Or, as I have been calling it, The DaveKat Sexting Fic. ENJOY)

Love Bites - by notwest - earth c - Ch 1/1 - 2366

What if hickeys were the first mark on Dave's body he liked?

Midnight on the Demon Patrol - by Asuka Kureru(Askerian) - Ch 30/? - 233688 words

Fighting fire with fire is okay in theory but Detective-Summoner Dave L. Strider figures trying to summon corporeal demons to the mortal plane to fight other demons is likely to backfire spectacularly. Sadly for him his inner Knight gets the vapors at the thought of letting anyone else play guinea pig.Yup, he is totally hogging the demon. What could go wrong? (Oh no, Dave, why did you have to think that.)

Red Converse - by MageofHeart - Humanstuck AU - Ch 16/16 - 26648 words

Due to a seizure, Karkat Vantas now has to learn how to live his life with two speech aphasia. He goes to therapy three times a week, suffers from awful headaches, and tries to avoid people as much as possible.Due to a traumatic experience, Dave Strider refuses to use his words, preferring to relay his snarky comments and witty banter through sign language and typing on his phone.They meet in a waiting room.

Sugar and Spice - by Dawngyocry - Humanstuck/Coming of Age Fic - Ch 2/2 - 44734 words

You remember the first time you really realized you were fucked up.You were five. First year of kindergarten, miserable as all fuck. The teacher told the boys to line up on one side of the room and the girls on the other. You don't even remember why. You just remember the result.

Sunday Morning - Nomisupernova - earth c - Ch 1/1 - 3561 words

“Hey Dave?” You rest your arm at your side, his hand finds yours and he entwines his fingers with yours. His ring clinks against your ring and it makes your heart skip a beat to think about it.He looks at you, blinking sleepily, “Yes Karkat?”“I love you.”He laughs softly, a beautiful sound to your ears, “I love you too, Kar.”

The Cold Never Bothered Me Anyway - by ectoBisexual - ski lodge AU - Ch 1/1 - 4128 words

During a trip to a ski lodge with their friends, Dave and Karkat end up stuck in an elevator. It sucks, but it's not the worst thing in the world. Until the power goes out and it starts to get really, really cold.

The Eurydice Suite - by callmearcturus - post sburb/sgrub - Ch 15/15 - 97103 words

Dream-sharing. A highly illegal little industry in which agents delve into people's dreams and unearth their deepest secrets and memories. And the Strider-Lalondes are the best in the business.Until Dirk Strider gets his fool ass trapped within the confines of his own subconscious, with his Auto-Responder playing malicious prison warden. To save him, it's going to take a team of the world's most talented dreamers to save him.Backed by the token rich friend, lead by the surliest extractor ever bribed out of retirement, haunted by the shade of the l8est and gr8est agent 

The Finer Points Of Plantsitting - by LandofMistandSecrets - Earth C - Ch 1/1 - 9323 words 

Jade & Davepeta are taking off on a presumably romantic weekend retreat. Dave and Karkat are left in charge of the plants.It's just one weekend. There's no way this goes wrong.Or, uh. Gets weird. Right???

The Sex Number - by ayyyy(RosaAquafire - earth c = Ch 1/1 - 3788 words

CG: IS OR IS THERE NOT ANY SOCIETAL OR CULTURAL SIGNIFICANCE TO THE NUMBER 69?

TT: Ah, yes.

TT: The sex number.

TT: This is where I slowly wink.

CG: OH, CHRIST. 

What To Do When You See Your Best Bro Naked - by Miriage - College/female kk AU - Ch 2/2 - 7464 words

"Still, when you walked out of the bathroom with a towel around your waist and a smaller one ruffling your black hair, you weren’t expecting him to be there and he wasn’t expecting you to be wearing sans almost nothing."A story in which Dave Strider falls in love after he sees Karkat Vantas naked.(Also, Karkat has AA boobs and Dave is into it.) 

[ffxivpathoflight]

【basics】

Name: Wyznloef “Leona” Alyrsthalwyn, best known as Leona Wyznloef. Epithet: The Skysinger. Age: 27 Race: Hellsguard Roegadyn. Gender: Female. Sexuality: (Extremely active) bisexual. Nameday: the 14th Sun of the 3rd Umbral Moon. Guardian Deity: Rhalgr the Destroyer, god of destruction and breaker of worlds. Elemental Crystal: Fire. Marital Status: Single. Voice: Laura Bailey.

【appearance】

Hair: Leona’s hair is blond with reddish highlights and she keeps it short so it does not get in the way when shooting arrows. Eyes: As it is said to happen to children born with an exceptional strong Echo, she has odd eyes: her left eye is amberine, while her right eye is a striking white. Height & Build: Leona, standing at 2′22m, is tall even for her race. She has a nicely toned body that does not diminish her explosive femininity, and she loves making a show of it. She is especially proud of her legs. Distinguishing Marks: She sports a tattoo in the left side of her face. The leonine nose that all Hellsguard Roegadyn have is particularly notable in her, which earned her her many aliases involving lions. Common Accessories: While not much of a jewelry fan —she firmly believes they are just trinkets that disguise a woman’s natural beauty— she usually wears a necklace with a red gem and a ring. She is also quite fond of her Thavnairian turban, since it reminds her of her homeland. 

【personal】

Profession: Scion of the Seventh Dawn, formerly Guardian of Light and currently Guardian of Darkness. She is an exceptional bard that has been training her archery and performance skills since she was still a teenager. Hobbies: Aside from the performing arts, Leona is mostly known for her bed prowess, and she considers a night ill-spent if she does not take anyone with her. Languages: Common [fluent], modern Thavnairian [fluent]. Birthplace: Radz-at-Han, the capital city of the Near Eastern nation of Thavnair. Current Residence: She has no residence, as she prefers to wander and not feel attached to anything or anyone. Religious Beliefs: Though Leona does not deny the existence of the divine, she holds no reverence for it. She considers gods care not for mortals, and henceforth mortals should not care for gods either. Fears: While not exactly a fear, she feels uncomfortable with the notion of emotional attachment.

【relationship】

Spouse: N/A Children: N/A Parents: Alyrsthal Sunnkoelsyn, father, deceased. Lihtkoena Sylbtyrwyn, mother, deceased. Both were former fighters in the Hannish bloodsands that fell in love. Shortly after Leona was born, they went to defend Thavnair’s borders against the Garlean Empire’s skrimishes, and died during one of these. Siblings: N/A Other Relatives: None that she knows. Pets: Jokingly, Leona calls her favored way of traveling, a Far Eastern relic known as the Nezha Chariot, her “pet”.

【traits】

Extroverted / In Between / Introverted Disorganized / In Between / Organized Close Minded / In Between / Open Minded Calm / In Between / Anxious Disagreeable / In Between / Agreeable Cautious / In Between / Reckless Patient / In Between /  Impatient Outspoken / In Between / Reserved Leader / In Between / Follower Empathetic / In Between / Apathetic Optimistic / In Between / Pessimistic Traditional / In Between / Modern Hard-working / In Between / Lazy Cultured / In Between / Uncultured Loyal / In Between / Disloyal Faithful / In Between / Unfaithful

【additional info】

Smoking Habit: If offered. Drugs: Never. Alcohol: She will not refuse a good round of ale, especially if invited.

【biography】

Orphaned Lioness: Hailing from the Near Eastern capital city of Thavnair, Radz-at-Han, she was the only daughter of the renowned gladiator Alyrsthal Sunnkoelsyn, who had won a lot of tournaments in the bloodsands. One of these duels he lost was against a pugilist named Lihtkoena Sylbtyrnwyn, and despite the spectacular defeat, Alyrsthal felt quite the attraction towards his rival. Soon after, he and Lihtkoena formed a battle duo, and this in turn made a romance bloom. They married a year after their first duel, and few months later Lihtkoena got pregnant. Unfortunately, these events happened during an escalation of tensions in the borders of Thavnair with the Garlean Empire, and several skrimishes broke out. After their daughter, whom they named Wyznloef, was born, Alyrsthal and Lihtkoena joined the Hannish forces as mercenaries to make some money to sustain their family, and so they left little Wyznloef in a wet nurse’s care.

The conflict favored the Hannish side, but in one of the skrimishes in which Alyrsthal and Lihtkoena took part, the imperials deployed magitek weaponry, and both died along the rest of their unit. So their daughter Wyznloef was left an orphan and was raised by her wet nurse, who was barely able to feed both of them. When Wyznloef was only ten summers old, her guardian died from an illness, and she found herself truly alone and forced to survive in the streets and slums of Radz-at-Han.

Life in Radz-at-Han: It was a hard life, but young Wyznloef learned to survive in the underworld of the city. She stole and did some dirty work, and because of this she earned some reputation around the slums not only of Radz-at-Han, but of close towns. She was a very tall, imposing young woman, and because of this when she was fourteen she began offering her services as a mercenary; however, Wyznloef chose a very different weapon than her parents, and began honing her skills as an archer.

It was not the only way Wyznloef made some money, though. She was a very sexually active individual, and so began offering her services as a prostitute in the taverns of the slums of Radz-at-Han. And she was good at this, because she had some natural attractive for both men and women, and her bed prowess soon became very well known. All of this combined, being a skilled mercenary and a very professional prostitute, made her earn many names, the most popular being Wyznloef the Lioness, and comparisons to lions ended up with her picking up the nickname “Leona”.

As years went on, Leona’s name as a mercenary was well known enough that she no longer needed prostitution to earn money, but she kept doing it the same way but for free, choosing whom she would take to bed. It was not a bad way of life, yet Radz-at-Han was turning too small for someone like her. She wanted to travel the world and become a renowned archer and adventurers, inspired by the bards who came to the taverns.

At twenty-four summers old, Leona had saved enough money to travel to Eorzea, where she knew of the Archers’ Guild of the Gods’ Quiver of the city-state of Gridania. She wanted to train further in her chosen weapon and receive proper instruction, and so achieve fortune and glory as an adventurer. And so she boarded a ship bound to Eorzea and traveled by carriage to the Twelveswood.

Way of the Bard: Though an inusual discipline amongst Hellsguard Roegadyn, Leona would soon shine amongst the recruits of the Archers’ Guild. In a society like Gridania’s, she had to keep her habits in check, much to her chagrin. But it proved worthy when she was chosen to ask the legendary Jehantel the Godsbow, a master of archery turned bard. Leona had always had her own sensitivity for music, and this caught Jehantel’s attention and accepted to teach her in the ways of the bard and high archery.

While learning from Jehantel, Leona also left the Archers’ Guilds and became a full-fledged adventurer. She would soon become known wherever she went, for both reasons that made her famous in her homeland.

She spent the three following years after coming to Eorzea traveling, honing her skills and bedding people, as was her wont. Leona was beholden to none, but in the wake of the Eorzean Alliance’s offensive to retake Ala Mhigo from the Garlean Empire she heard that the Scions of the Seventh Dawn were recruiting adventurers gifted with the Echo for the campaign. As she was not prone to refuse a good fight and adventure, Leona answered the call and journeyed to Gyr Abania to join her new comrades in the unit formed under the command of the Warrior of Light. The night of her arrival to Rhalgr’s Reach, Leona slept with another adventurer, a Highlander woman by the name of Joana Strome, unaware that she was also one of the chosen for the unit. When they found out the next day, Leona considered it a fun incident, though she resolved it would never happen again, as she believes those kind of relationships only sour teamwork, and that is why she never tried to seduce any of her other comrades. Despite the “incident” as she called it, she stroke a close friendship with Joana, and together with her companions they journeyed with the Warrior of Light to liberate Doma and Ala Mhigo, and stood with her during the following crisis, including the Battle of the Ghimlyt Dark.

A Song of Light and Dark: After the Call to the First in order to restore Darkness in the shard, Leona became one of the Guardians of Darkness. She would follow X’wyhn Lehn, now the Warrior of Darkness, in their new purpose. The prospect of traveling to a whole new world thrills her, and she is eager to learn about the First and all the promises and experiences that await her there.

[ahouseoflies]

The Best Films of 2018, Part I

I’ll associate my moviegoing this year with two things: subscription models and superhero films. Realizing that I was the target audience, I signed up for Moviepass in March, then canceled just before they started extorting people in July. (I’ll remember you all semi-fondly, conniving alarmists in the Moviepass Reddit thread.) Thanks to Moviepass, I took full advantage of my free time over the summer, and I found some nice surprises that I wouldn’t have checked out otherwise. From there I joined AMC A-List, which is the rare corporate service that I cannot complain about in any way. Moviepass always felt like some kind of drug deal, whereas A-List is as easy and inviting an experience as possible. I get to seek out Dolby, IMAX, or 3-D showings instead of getting locked out of them, and the electronic ticketing helps with my last-minute availability. (I’ve mastered the art of lovingly putting my daughter to bed, only to desert her and my wife five minutes later. “You know, there’s an 8:10 showing of The Predator, which means 8:30 after previews...”) My overall viewing was up 11% this year, which I have to attribute to these subscriptions. Perhaps I saw too much though. After a self-righteous five-year ban on superhero movies, I caught up in 2019 like the madman completist that I am. On the plus side, I enjoyed Wonder Woman and Guardians of the Galaxy, and I vaguely feel more connected with the culture-at-large. But I could have been more selective. The diligence required to watch X-Men: Apocalypse late on a Thursday night took away from, say, my Orson Welles project or...reading books. To get some of the business out of the way, I haven’t seen Burning, Shoplifters, Destroyer, Cold War, The Sisters Brothers, Tomb Raider, The Wife, or The House That Jack Built. Not all of us get screeners or care about seeing The Wife.  Mostly for argument purposes, I list everything I saw and divide the movies into the categories of Garbage, Admirable Failures, Endearing Curiosities with Big Flaws, Pretty Good Movies, Good Movies, Great Movies, and Instant Classics. Hey, speaking of superheroes:  GARBAGE

123. Venom (Ruben Fleischer)- Venom was first announced as an R-rated film until it was neutered into PG-13 at some point in the development road. That was the right choice because this is a movie, in all of its broad, careless storytelling, for children. "So he's going to get married to her but then he looks at her email and then he interviews the guy and he gets fired so then she leaves him and he drinks now?" This is a dummy's version of what a journalist is or what a scientist is, and it never shades into more subtlety than exactly what is on the expected surface. I guess that Tom Hardy gets to jump into a lobster tank if that floats your boat, but the story is stuck on fast-forward for the whole movie, never relenting to develop character or do anything other than communicate information that we don't really need.

Venom is almost--almost--interesting as a new branch in the superhero economy. Why shouldn't Tom Hardy and National Treasure Michelle Williams trade the equity they've built for caring about their work into this trash? I don't begrudge them that for a second. I hope they make more money for the sloppy sequels. 122. The Equalizer 2 (Antoine Fuqua)- The first Equalizer was flat and pointlessly long with pedantic dialogue too, but at least it had the Home Depot sequence. This one makes very basic stuff incoherent and dawdles all the way to the end. Your boy is now an expert hacker too? I guess it's too late for Fuqua to start caring about scripts.

121. Mandy (Panos Cosmatos)- I need somebody to explain to me why, dramatically, this is good without something like, "It's so metal! What a midnight movie! Chainsaw fight lol!" If you want to talk about the visuals that are stylized within an inch of reality, then I'll listen. But there's nothing to hold onto dramatically. I think I've developed an overall irritation with revenge films, but this filthy dirge of a movie felt empty and endless by any standard. 120. Fifty Shades Freed (James Foley)- Its intentions are too guileless to upset me, but Fifty Shades Freed uses up the goodwill I sort of had for the first two by tugging the viewer relentlessly through conflict that always seems temporary. Part of the fun has always been how bizarre basic human interactions seem in this universe. (Has anyone ever returned from a vacation to be surprise-promoted?) But this entry expects way too much from its viewer's loyalty. 119. On Chesil Beach (Dominic Cooke)- There's supposed to be a disconnect to the behavior of the couple in On Chesil Beach, a movie that asks us to harken back to a time when newlyweds were so sexually innocent that they had trouble figuring out how to consummate a marriage. Their fumbling seems foreign to us, which is the point. But what's the excuse for none of the behavior in the movie ringing true to any human experience?

I'm talking about Florence refusing to tell her string quartet that she's engaged because she thinks they'll assume that her marriage will break up the group even though she's sure that it won't. I'm talking about her father, who feels the need to humiliate his son-in-law in tennis because that would prove that he's dominant over the boy in some way that being his employer does not already prove. I'm talking about a plot that literally would not exist if the characters had just engaged in one conversation that it seems like they would have had in the flashbacks, which frame them as a kind of open, reasonably affectionate, easy-going couple. But by all means, McEwan, change that whenever it suits you. 118. Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom (J.A. Bayona)- I reject the whole premise of this deliberate lowering of stakes that never rises above obligation. To paraphrase a Griffin Newman joke, it makes Jurassic Park 4 look like Jurassic Park 1.

While we're here though: Can I have a movie about the guy who compiled the guest list for the dino auction? I want to see a guy looking at a spreadsheet--or is it an Access file?--and getting to, like, Mark Cuban and weighing the options: "He probably has the $27 million to spare on weaponized recombinant DNA. He would definitely appreciate the wow factor of having his own Indoraptor. But is he more of a neutral evil or a chaotic evil? I guess I'll reserve a seat for him and send the invitation. If he says no, then he says no. Okay, we're still in the C's..."

117. Tag (Jeff Tomsic)- Tag is going to show up on a lot of "worst movies to ever win an Oscar" lists when Jeremy Renner wins an Oscar for it. 116. A-X-L (Oliver Daly)- This is a melodramatic movie about a weaponized robotic dog and the dirtbike kid who befriends it. Nothing wrong with that; a ten-year-old boy might like it, and there aren't enough movies specifically for that audience. But what's weird is how nonchalant the main character is about the whole thing. He immediately starts training this one-of-a-kind "war dog" android and imprints it with his DNA like this is a regular Tuesday. It's one of many things that is just kind of off in this picture.

This being a cheap genre film, you do get treated to those L.A. locations that have been around the block. I think the nondescript complex that houses Craine Industries is also the one from Sneakers and The Lawnmower Man. You know, Craine Industries, the company that is working on a $70 million prototype for the military but, because this is a cheap genre film, seems to have two employees.

I do think there's an interesting movie to be made about motocross. The movie kind of works when it's just about an underdog father and son fixing bikes, before it gets into all of the robot stuff. ADMIRABLE FAILURES

115. The Little Stranger (Lenny Abrahamson)- Dr. Faraday: "Wanna marry me?" Caroline: "Maybe. Do you actually love me?" Dr. Faraday: "Probably not." Caroline: "Hmm, I think I would marry you only as an excuse to go to London to get away from my dying mother and this crumbling house that probably has a ghost." Dr. Faraday: "Oh. Well, glad we're discussing it now because I want to marry you specifically to give me a reason to stay in this crumbling house that probably has a ghost. I'm drawn to it for some reason." Caroline: "Is it because you grew up poor?" Dr. Faraday: "Yes. All dry, cold British stuff ultimately comes down to that.

114. Damsel (David Zellner and Nathan Zellner)- Had I done my research, I wouldn't have watched this Zellner Brothers follow-up to Kumiko the Treasure Hunter, one of my least favorite films of that year. Like that movie, Damsel is a story of two halves, punctuated by a shocking moment that happens halfway through. Unfortunately nothing interesting happens before, and nothing interesting happens after. 113. Suspiria (Luca Guadignino)- This is a movie about duality that gets extended. English, German, and just a sprinkle of French. Six parts and an epilogue. A dual role (and a bit part). Personalities that clash until one pulls ahead. There are ideas here. But, especially considering I don't like the original Suspiria, I didn't find much to hold onto as a visceral experience. It's a long, foreboding sit. Guadagnino knows how to end his movies, but he still doesn't have much to say for the long middle parts. Shout-out to Amazon; I hope that, in some circuitous way, betting on maximalist Italians helps them to sell paper towels or whatever.

112. Early Man (Nick Park)- I still love the Aardman aesthetic, but this material was thin. It's too juvenile for adults and too adult for juveniles. 111. Beirut (Brad Anderson)- The screenplay takes an hour to set up what should have taken twenty minutes. Some of that time is dedicated to developing Hamm's burnt-out alcoholic wheeler-dealer, but he's a character we've seen a hundred times before anyway. Some shorthand would have done some good. Once the plot gets going, it's serviceable, but I was bored by that point. Pike and Hamm need to fire their managers. 110. Upgrade (Leigh Whannell)- I'll admit that I owed the film more attention than I gave it since I was nodding off the whole time, but nothing in the gloomy programmer interested me enough to want to go back.

109. Red Sparrow (Francis Lawrence)- Good as a steamy blank check provocation from the director and star--not much else. I'm sure people will take down the easy target of Jen Larry's Russian accent, but they're ignoring just how much she tries in something like this. She is a gargantuan Movie Star who commands the screen, and a lot of that presence comes from the commitment of, say, learning how to ballet dance for what must have been months. She hasn't slept through a performance yet.

I didn't think this endless movie made much sense, especially near its conclusion. Perhaps it's my personal distaste for the way that spy movies introduce major plot points without so much as a music sting to guide you. As soon as anyone says the term "double agent," my brain turns off.

108. Hot Summer Nights (Elijah Bynum)- If you want to direct a music video, just direct a music video. I like all of the actors in this, but the filmmaker has nothing to say. 107. The First Purge (Gerard McMurray)- Even James DeMonaco seems to be admitting that the bloom is off the rose a bit, since he only wrote this entry in the franchise--and his direction is missed in the action scenes. Just enough of the political subtext remains, (The New Founding Fathers get funding from the NRA, and a character uses "pussy-grabbing" as an insult. Thankfully, a Black church getting shot up by men with Iron Cross flags happens off-screen.)

But there are more characters I didn't care about than characters I did care about. Since its prequel setting doesn't reveal much about the world that we didn't already know, the film needed to do a bit more with the survive-the-night scenario that we already saw in the second film.

106. Vox Lux (Brady Corbet)- A movie that, up to and including the last minute, keeps promising something better than it actually is. Everyone here is making...choices… 105. Madeline’s Madeline (Josephine Decker)- I'm glad David Ehrlich liked this as much as he did. There are some intriguing ideas, most notably the suggestion that a mentally unstable person would be better suited for acting than a healthy person. What a debut for Helena Howard as well. But for it to add up to something by the end, I think I needed it to have more dramatic structure--the sort of fall of the Molly Parker character feels invented and insincere--or go all the way into experiment. 104. Shirkers (Sandi Tan)- One of those "you won't believe what happens next" documentaries that positions itself as an example of truth being stranger than fiction. But removed from a festival context, does it ever rise above its logline? Is it really even that odd?