#mass effect angst

[strawberrykidneystone]

i love characters who are doomed from the start (/lying my shepard is still alive in my head)

[ghostywind]

Been playing/watching Mass Effect again with friends and. I'm just. Jfjfjfhfhskekfbnd got robbed by BioWare. ROBBED.

[thatwildwolfwrites]

Shakarian WIP

Edit: This post is really blowing up recently. It's more popular than most of my actual fanfics! If you like this little snippet, please consider checking me out on AO3, I write a lot of Shakarian both longform and one-shots!

[ThatWildWolf on Archive of Our Own]

[dreaming-of-hope]

They are parents now. They adopted that child even before bode was out of the picture.

I know many people are hoping they have a bio child in the next game, but I honestly think they just keep adopting children as they go.

So much of the spirit of the Jedi series is breaking free from the idea of bloodlines (against the main continuity of the movies) and I feel they should keep it that way.

The found family trope is strong with this one.

That said, I do fear the worse for Cal in the next game, his connection to the darkside could potentially make him the perfect grey jedi, but if he keeps getting worse those visions he saw on Fallen Order could become a reality or worse he could have an heroic death, if he stays in the light OR a redemption death, if he keeps using the darkside, to save his family and his legacy, in a way that mirrors his own masters sacrifices (but this is probably just me after being exposed to too many "doomed by the narrative" types of media).

Also... in a less dark thought, I just realized I subconsciously made Merrin and Cal match clothes! I love them so much <3

[515limit]

Miranda is still in hiding and finds Jack on the Citadel..

[universe-prime]

Don't ask me the logistics about "how this works in canon" or whatever, jusT LET ME COPE

Ever since I found out that there is a CHANCE to let the Commander live, I've made it my personal mission to complete the trilogy with this ending so this lil interaction can become canon in my disillusioned brain

[skinnyazn]

Like Tears in the Rain

Pairing: Commander Shepard x Liara T'Soni Chapters: 1/1 Notes: @parttimeprophet asked "Ohhhh how about tearful kisses with Liara T'Soni x Femshep 👀🫶🏻? Writing, pls!" for kiss challenge!, Now you get the most heart wrenching bullshit, I may or may not have made myself cry at the end, it's fine I'm fine, excuse any tense issues I never write in present tense so this was a struggle,

AO3 | MASTERLIST

Shepard is a born soldier, fighting with bared teeth and pure grit through every calamity in her life, so this ache that sits deep inside her bones is a familiar feeling. It’s made its home from the years of abuse on the battlefield, across different planets and star systems, but it wears on her the longer she marches through the torn streets of London. Wave after wave, casualty after casualty—the physical aspect is nearly as heavy as the mental. One mistake and it all ends: the Reapers win and humanity, as well as every other sentient species in the galaxy, annihilated. And that simply isn't an option. Not for Shepard. So she does the only thing she knows how to do: fight to survive. It’s an endless reserve of horrors as her crew fight through the crumbling city. Even the Cerberus cybernetics in her body can’t combat the tiredness she feels when they finally reach the Forward Operating Base. 

There’s no time for rest as Shepard inhales deeply, breathing the ash-laden air into her lungs, as she walks around the rubble to rally the band of soldiers. She looks at the faces of the men and women who served alongside her over the years, who trusted her—followed her through hell and back. They look older now. Kaidan has grey speckles throughout his temples and Garrus, a few more scars. Anderson just looks tired, and Shepard wishes things could have gone differently for the admiral. She makes it across a bridge to a makeshift medbay where Liara is already tending to the wounded, doing what she can to help the dying with her omni-tool. She still has the gore from the team’s early assault on her armor and Shepard wants to wipe it all away.

“How are the casualties?” she asks instead, walking toward the asari.

Liara doesn’t look up from her tool. “We lost people. Some of the wounded here won’t make it,” and it comes out calmly.

Shepard studies her lover. She hasn’t aged a day since their first meeting in that Prothean dig-site, yet the years took their toll in other ways. The once innocent and shy asari was now hardened by loss—most of all by Shepard’s.

“How are you holding up, Liara?” Shepard asks softly, moving closer.

“This is it, isn’t it,” Liara finally looks up at her commander, but her glacial blue eyes are distant. 

“Yeah,” Shepard breathes, “this is it.” 

The asari looks away, at the wounded—at the carnage around them in the brief moment of calm. 

“I don’t know what to say. I just know I’ll have a clever line five minutes from now,” she chuckles, but it comes out flat. Shepard reaches for her hand.

She stares calmly into her commander’s eyes. “I do have one thing for you, Shepard. A gift. It’ll only take a moment, if you want it.”

“Of course I do.”

Liara smiles and it makes Shepard’s heart yearn. She moves toward her lover, closing her eyes and resting her forehead against the asari’s.

And suddenly there is a weightless serenity. All the heaviness and pain from the battlefield, gone. When Shepard opens her eyes, she’s in a peaceful oblivion, surrounded by stars. Liara’s delicate hands fit perfectly in Shepard���s.

And they don’t need to speak because they can feel each other’s emotions. All the nuances and subtleties that can’t be conveyed with words. The comfort. The calm. The abundance of love. A glowing light rises over an artificial horizon, but Shepard is too lost in Liara’s eyes to notice its color. And when they kiss, it reminds Shepard why she’s in the fight: to give all the lovers a chance like they got. Liara moves her hands over her stomach and Shepard feels a wave of emotions. To give life a chance.

I wish we had more time, she thinks, but when her eyes open, she’s back in London.

Liara looks at her solemnly. “Thank you, Shepard, for everything. I love you.”

Shepard’s hands linger on the asari’s waist, thumbs brushing over her stomach. She’s too scared to say it out lout so she settles for, “I’ll be fighting for us.”

“I know,” Liara smiles, and this time it reaches her eyes. “Now let’s do what needs to be done.”

Shepard nods, taking in her lover one last time before the final push—her particular shade of blue, the kindness in her eyes, the softness of her body. She presses her forehead against the asari once more before she turns and makes her way through the stretchers to gather her crew.

And the minutes feel like hours as Hammer Team make their final assault through No Man’s Land. The swarm of husks and mutilated creatures is overwhelming. Soldiers fall all around, but Shepard and her team push forward. London looks unrecognizable as they navigate toward the massive Conduit Beam in the middle of the city.

“Incoming Banshees!” Liara cries out, readying a warp attack. 

“These bastards don’t give up,” Shepard grunts, feeling the weight of her Viper as she takes another headshot. 

“Brute at your five, Shepard!” Garrus shouts this time. 

“Then handle it! Where the hell is Wrex and the rest of the Krogans?”

“We’re busy cleaning up the mess you left,” Wrex’s voice booms through the static of the comms.

“It’s just like old times,” Garrus quips, but Shepard tunes him out as the claws of a banshee narrowly miss impaling her. She stabs the thing with her omni-tool and the shriek it emits is deafening.

“Shepard, take down that Destroyer!” It’s Anderson’s voice that breaks through the comms now, and Shepard spares a second to glance up a the massive Reaper that just touched down.

“You’ve got to be kidding me…”

“There should be Thanix Missiles controls in one of the tanks. Aim and fire!” the admiral shouts.

“Tuchanka 2.0,” Shepard mutters under her breath as she continues firing at the swarm of ground enemies. The deep boom of the Destroyer shakes the whole ground as its red beam carves through the city.

“We don’t have time! I’ll cover you,” Garrus yells, nearing the commander.

Shepard dashes toward the shuttle, booting up the missiles. Everything slows as she waits for the Reaper’s cannon to open; her whole body vibrates from the adrenaline. A glow of red and she presses fire. It’s a direct hit—until they swerve away at the last second.

“What the hell was that?!” she shouts, as she takes shot at a marauder in stasis. Liara has regrouped next to her as well.

“Damnit. The conduit beam must be interfering with the missiles’ guidance,” Anderson gripes. 

“EDI? Do you read me?” Shepard barks through her comms.

“Yes, Commander,” and it’s odd hearing the AI sound so strained.

“Any suggestions?” Another shot to a husk.

“I may be able to use the Normandy to enhance the missiles’ targeting capabilities.”

“Do it.”

“I’ll need you to open a link to the operating systems.”

Shepard punches at the control system while Garrus and Liara continue firing at the enemies that keep coming. 

“Missile guidance enhanced! But the Destroyer is still out of range. It needs to be as close as possible, Commander.”

Shepard unloads into another banshee. “How the hell do we get it closer—”

“Shepard!” Anderson interrupts through her earpiece. “Harbinger is releasing everything he’s got. Hammer Team is making its way toward you. Just hold on.”

“Another wave?!” Liara sounds exasperated as her flare of biotics rips through a husk. Shepard can tell it's taking a toll on the biotic.

“We HOLD!”

And wave after wave comes. Banshees, cannibals, marauders—it’s an endless stream of near death calls. The ash from the burning surroundings stick to Shepard's sweat drenched skin and tighten her throat.

“Look,” Garrus rasps between shots, “the Destroyer is closing in.”

Shepard glances at the horizon and the massive machine is nearly on top of them now. 

“Commander, it is within range!” EDI shouts over the comms.

“Firing!”

Another two Thanix missiles fire as the beam of the Destroyer weaves its way toward Shepard. This time they stick.

“A direct hit!”

“Hit them with everything you’ve got!” Shepard barks into the comms. An array of bullets and missiles in the city rain down on the Destroyer, exploding the being and littering the surroundings with corpse. A cloud of dust hits the crew.

“Destroyer terminated.” The AI sounds marginally calmer now.

“Nice work, EDI,” Shepard coughs, and she hears footsteps marching behind her.

“Shepard, over here!” It’s Anderson, and the commander feels a wave of relief that he finally caught up to them. She makes her way toward the older man. “We’re not out of the woods yet. Hackett just reported that several Sovereign-class reapers—including Harbinger—have broken off and are headed here.”

“Harbinger…”

“It’s a long shot but it’ll give Hackett enough time to get to the Citadel. But we still need someone on the ground to get to the beam and open the doors for him.”

“We still don’t know what we’ll find onboard the Citadel…” Garrus says bleakly.

“Then that’s our job: find out what we’re up against.” Shepard looks at the turian—at all of the remaining soldiers. “We’ve made it this far. There’s no turning back now. This is what we’ve been fighting for. Victory or death.” They nod.

“Alright,” Anderson said, “saddle up.”

Inside the shuttle there’s an odd sense of peace, in spite of the occasional rocking from explosions around them. There’re no windows and Shepard exhales at the bliss of being able to sit, to rest—if only for a moment. She looks over at her crew. Liara stares fixedly ahead, exhausted, and she reaches for her hand. The asari smiles faintly, squeezing back. Garrus has a shoulder wound and blood splattered all over him. Shepard hopes most if it isn’t his. He gives her a nod, telling her he’s ready to follow her to the end. Anderson sits in front of the commander, looking more than his age. She bitterly wishes he had a chance for a tranquil retirement among the stars.

“I’m proud of you, Shepard,” Anderson speaks, and it takes her by surprise. “We’re in the home stretch now.”

“No one I’d rather do this with.”

“We’re with you ’til the end,” Garrus chimes in, and his dual-tone voice sounds so tired. Liara just squeezes her hand harder.

But the smile is quickly wiped from Shepard’s face as the shuttle crashes to a halt.

“Well it was nice while it lasted,” she says, before opening the shuttle doors. “Ready?”

Outside is carnage, and the road to the Conduit is crumbled from the impact of the beam. They’re so close, but now it’s by foot now.

“It’s Harbinger!” Liara shouts over the chaos, as Shepard spots the colossal being landing. It's at least five times bigger than the Destroyer they just took down. 

“We make a run for it! NOW!” she yells, taking off as the Reaper’s beam cuts through shuttles and soldiers alike. Shepard can only focus on the conduit beam as she navigates the debris, dodging exploding tanks and falling rubble. She watches Harbinger’s laser vaporizes the ground next to her, flipping over a vehicle. It lands right in the path of her team.

“Liara!” Shepard shouts, going back for the Asari and dragging her to cover. Garrus slams his body against the flipped tank as well.

“Normandy, do you copy?! I need an evac right now!” She looks down at Liara, who’s starting to bleed on her.

“We’re taking on heavy losses up here, Commander,” Joker yells through the comms, but moments later the Normandy pulls in. Shepard feels a surge of pride knowing only Joker could pull off a maneuver like that.

“C’mon,” Shepard groans, lifting Liara over her shoulder and running back to Normandy. Other soldiers filter off the ship for ground reinforcement. The earth shakes each time Harbinger’s beam cuts through it.

“Here, take her,” Shepard grunts, handing Liara over to Garrus. 

“Shepard!” Liara moans, reaching out as blood trails down her side.

“You gotta get out of here!”

Garrus tries to pull her onto the ship but the asari pushes back.

“I’m alright, Shepard.”

“Don’t argue with me, Liara!”

“You’re not leaving me behind!” she cries. And all Shepard can see is the shy, helpless scientist she first met on Therum.

“No matter what happens,” Shepard steps toward the asari, “you mean everything to me, Liara.” 

Tears stream down the asari’s face now as her commander kisses her with the hopelessness of a dead woman walking. Garrus looks away.

“It’ll always be you,” and she wipes away the tears and blood splattered across her azure cheeks.

“Shepard I…”

But behind them, the high-pitch whirling of Harbinger’s charging cannon shrills.

“GO!” Shepard yells, looking at Liara for a final time before sprinting away from the ship. 

“I love you!” she hears her lover sob as the loading door closes and the Normandy pulls away, but her focus is on the beam now. She weaves through Harbinger’s lasers until things go white. ____

Time is distorted. She remembers the beam. She remembers the corpses. Somewhere in there, Anderson.

“You did good, kid. You did good.”

And she remembers smiling, feeling proud. But it didn’t last. She took the dog tags and put them over her neck. And she remembers the stillness of watching the chaos in space from inside the Conduit—the muted explosions and fleets of ships outside made her feel like she was underwater. She wonders if Hackett made it.

Then there’s The Child—the one she kept seeing on Earth and in her dreams—and it’s telling her she has to make a choice. She studies the thing, this illusion of a boy, and hopes that Liara made it. She wonder’s what she’ll name their daughter; she wishes she could watch her grow.

And when Shepard walks up to the catalyst, she’s not afraid this time. It’s not like the suffocating, cold, loneliness of space over Alchera. Now, she’s over her home. Earth. With everyone she’s ever loved down there. She holds the other set of dog tags in her hands.

“We did it, Anderson. We did it.” And she fires into the catalyst.

[sol-consort]

I can't stop thinking about Kaidan/Ashley ME2 Horizon mission and Shepard, Listening to "Right where you left me" by TS isn't helping either.

Especially with Joker's ME3 comment on how Shepard is basically half robotic from all the emotions they supress and stress they swallow. You know part of Shepard died at Horizon when the one they loved-and let their other friend die in order to save them on Virmire-just left them so coldly.

Shepard was ready to sacrifice everything for Ash and Kaidan, they've already scarificed a dear friend and themselves back when evacuating the original Normandy.

To think that person's reaction when they see you alive is just full of suspicion and doubt. The one soul you thought would always be on your side in this ruthless life of death and gore, the one person who was there for you since the first Eden Prime.

You were ready to hang the stars for them, to save the galaxy just to have more shore time with them. To take them with you on misions just to hear their voice more.

And then you find out they've tried seeing someone else, in a message to add insult to injury, right after you leave Horizon unwhole with a part of you still lingering there for a dying hope of a youthful love long gone.

[lonesurvivorao3]

Trying to make my blorbos kiss and make up but they are being dicks. Thane gonna tie you both the fuck up at this rate.

Wait.

What.

[kyratittyfish]

After Alchera

Accompanying art for Chapter 2 of my post-Alchera fic, Between The End And The Beginning.

(I apologise for the angst - I've been going through Crappy Stuff lately and fictional angst is my way to cope with that.)

[strawberrykidneystone]

do you think they split up again after shepard died like in the beginning of mass effect 2😁😁😁

[vorchagirl]

Haunted - Reyes x Sara fic <3

Title: Haunted

Rating: PG-13

Summary: Sara Ryder never thought she would see Reyes Vidal again after their breakup - not when she'd been cut so deeply by his lies and deception, and not when she'd ended things so decisively. But when Reyes finds his leadership of Kadara Port under fire from a mysterious new enemy, he turns to her for help and Sara can't deny that there is still something between them. Something bigger than she wants to admit. When things go from bad worse on their mission in the badlands, Sara and Reyes find themselves trapped, with no choice but to face the ghosts of their past, and face up to what's really going on between them.

A/N - Yes, I've finally written some fluffy Reyes x Sara fanfiction again! I've put a snippet below, and you can find the full chapter at AO3!

The bartender handed her a drink, and Sara took a sip of the fiery whiskey. Behind her, a door opened and there was a flurry of movement in her peripheral vision and a ripple of quiet voices. She sensed the subtle emptying of the bar as people seemed to recede like the ocean until only a few patrons, all of them the Charlatan's men, remained.  Her heart thumped in her chest, and she struggled to keep her breathing even as Reyes slid onto the stool beside her, a very neutral expression on his face as he glanced at her.

Sara downed her drink on one gulp and looked away, flustered.

"Ryder," he signalled the bartender for a drink. "Mind if I join you?"

"Reyes," she replied, nervous tension keeping her rigid as he reached past her for his drink. "Since you've already taken a seat, the question's a little moot, isn't it?"

He chuckled and took a sip of his drink. "I wouldn't go where I wasn't wanted.  Say the word, and I'll leave you in peace. But," he gestured for her glass to be refilled, "you're on my turf, so I'm assuming my company isn't entirely unwanted...?" There was the hint of a question in his voice,  and the look in his eyes faltered for a moment,  uncertainty peeking through his usual cockiness.

Sara considered him over the rim of the glass, and shrugged. "You can assume that, " she agreed.

Reyes smiled, and Sara quickly looked away, not liking the way her stomach fluttered pleasantly at his attention. Her head was still so messed up. 

She wanted to stay mad at him. 

She wanted him to crawl. 

She wanted his arms around her. 

She didn't know what she wanted.

-

Read the rest here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/52182916

[masseffectgayz]

I'm Proud of You

“Commander,” Anderson’s voice was deep, gravelly.

Shepard made his way over, body weak.

“We did it,” His own voice was shaky.

The other man gave a rough, pained side smile.

“Yes, we did.,” There was a moment's pause as neither man spoke. A cough came from the older man. “It’s quite a view,”

Shepard had to smile himself, he could feel his hand grow wet, warm. “Ha, best seats in the house,”

Silence stretched for a few seconds.

“God,” Anderson’s voice was tired, so very tired. “Feels like years since I just sat down,”

“I think you earned a rest…” Shepard answered, looking over to the other man when there was no response, no sound. “Anderson?”

A very weak hum was the older man’s response.

Panic weakly gnawed at the Commander, he wanted to reach out to Anderson but his arms were just too weak so he settled on his words. “Stay with me; we’re almost through this,” He tried to reassure.

There was another silent pause.

“You did good son, you did good,” The older man’s words weakened, grew quiet with every syllable. Yet another pause came from the man.

“I’m proud of you.”

Shepard couldn’t even grin. “Thank you, sir…” He tried through a closed throat. He turned to look at the other soldier. Weak, wained anxiety gripped his lungs. “Anderson?...” He choked out, though he already knew there would be no response. 

A fresh wave of panic shot through him, energy suddenly pounding in his ears.

“No… Hey, no, c’mon Anderson,” His tongue felt fat as he tried to talk, his words slowed and slurred. “You can’t… you can’t…”

Shepard swallowed slowly. Metal bit against his throat. “You were here with me from the start; you’ve been by my side since the beginning. Saren, Cerberus, Earth…” His vision blurred; maybe blood loss, maybe tears. “Don’t… Don’t leave me alone. Not now, not when we’re so close… Please, sir, please don’t…” 

His begs fell on silent ears.

Lighting went off behind the Commander; the sound felt comforting. 

“God, how long has this all been? How long have we been fighting?” He asked out loud, hoping Anderson could still hear him. Hoping someone was listening. “It feels like forever; it feels like this is all we’ve been doing, trying to stop this. I…” His throat closed, and tears, he knew it was tears this time, welled in his eyes. “I’m sorry, sir,” He said quietly. “I should have tried harder, been stronger, worked sooner. We could have… I could have…” The words were lost on his tongue. 

The Commander looked over to his friend, stone still. He weakly reached a hand over, gripping the older man’s shoulder.

“You deserved better,” His voice shook, and tears slipped down his face into his scars. “You always deserved better. Better than Udina, better than the Alliance, better than… me,” He gritted his teeth. “I’m sorry, Anderson, I’m so sorry. I… I’m glad I made you proud; I did that, at least,” Shepard took in a shaky, weak breath. “You were… you were like…”

The man’s arm fell away, too weak to even grip Anderson’s still shoulder. For a moment, everything was silent, stone-cold silent. It hurt the Commander’s ears. Then, he tilted his head down, looking at the hand he had covering his wound. Shepard pulled away, he couldn’t help but frown at the blood he saw. When had it become so much? When had all of this become so much? 

All those years ago, when everything had started… He would have never guessed what it would have become. He would have never guessed this. The Commander looked back towards Adnerson, or he tried to.

The man still didn’t move.

“I… I want this to be over, Anderson,” He whispered, just in case anyone else could hear him. “I don’t want to do this anymore. I’m tired, so damn tired,” He let more tears form, more of them fall. A sob passed his lips. “There were times where I wished that beacon on Eden Prime would have…” He trailed off. He didn’t want to say that out loud. Not in front of Anderson. “I need it to be over; I can’t do it anymore. It’s… It’s gotta be over…” 

Shepard forced himself to look fully at Anderson, to place a hand on the man’s arm.

“Be there for me when it is all over. Please, just…”

The Commander squeezed the older man’s arm, letting one last tear fall.

“I don’t want to be alone.”

---

Anderson's death scene always makes me cry like a baby and I wanted to use that sadness and write angst. Please and thanks.

[kaidanalenkosprmanager]

THE BEST OF PRIORITY: SUR'KESH

Featuring: Cmdr. Sophie Shepard, Lt. James Vega, EDI, and Urdnot Wrex With: Lt. Steve Cortez, Dr. Mordin Solus, Major Kirrahe, and Urdnot Bakara And a Special Guest Appearance by: Adm. Steven Hackett Alliance R&D has officially begun construction on the Prothean device. The team has dubbed it: "Project Crucible". We're throwing everybody who knows how to throw a hammer at it. This is gonna be the most ambitious undertaking in human history. I'm not saying it won't be a challenge- but we can do this, Shepard. You can do this. Never doubt that. Mass Effect 3: Legendary Edition (2021)

+BONUS (the smirk™️)

[ripley95]

A Genuine Counterfeit

Series Link

-

Igniting the Fire - Available Here

Summary:

A first prequel to "Echoes of Old Embers." After defeating Saren, Shepard and Kaidan are left with a big decision about the trajectory of their relationship. With the regs looming over their heads, it’s time to consider what they want. What better way to figure that out than some shore leave?

-

Echoes of Old Embers - Available Here

Summary:

After Shepard lives from the war, one of her biggest regrets was rejecting Kaidan at Apollo’s. Fate has a funny way of bringing Jane and Kaidan back into each other’s lives. A misunderstanding with Kaidan’s family makes him and Shepard relive old history and question where they stand.

-

A Spectre's Proposal - Available Here

Summary:

More than a year has passed since the Reaper War ended and Kaidan and Jane have settled right in to domestic life while they contribute to the rebuilding efforts on Earth. As normalcy begins to set in, so do old problems. News hits of piracy out in the traverse, when the council calls on them for a secret mission only the two of them can fulfil. The nature of the mission leads them to think about what they want from their relationship.

-

Wedding of the Century - Available Here

Summary:

A Spectre mission involving Kaidan and Shepard’s fake engagement has led to unravelling a looming terrorist threat and potential war. Having determined that the culprits have a personal vendetta against Commander Shepard, the Alliance has devised the perfect plan to attract the attention of the terrorist leader: A fake wedding. But as with all of their missions lately, the line blurs between pretense and reality, leading them to discuss what they want from their real life.

[stormikins]

Temple of Athame - Thessia