#mary is separated from her mother and never sees her again. she dies before she can. of course she would hate anne boleyn
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@boleynism replied to your post:
It's a great summary, although I'm not sure 'bullying' is the best word choice (...hectoring?); unless, of course we're taking Chapuys at 100% face value (which...off the dome, incorrect report of the name of Anne's first child, incorrect report that Mary was going to be sent to serve Anne as maid in waiting, report that there were no bonfires celebrating Elizabeth's christening was contradicted by two other sources...only the first of which he ever admitted the error, which he would never have gotten away with doing otherwise, as she was a significant child, the second of which he still claimed was true but that Anne had changed her mind and decided to send her to Elizabeth's household instead). And it's the reality of power, really...gaining power, securing power, maintaining power (or, as Thomas has argued here, safety) can be very ugly. These were not Disney princesses we're talking about. But there's a certain Janus face to all this, also: in all likelihood, Anne completely believed that everything she did was justified, because she wanted to use that power for good ("pardon me from your hearts [...] that I have not done all the good that was in my power to do.â ), for causes she believed in, that's all tied up in that fierce maternal instinct (""A mother's love for her child is like nothing else in the world. It knows no law, no pity, it dares all things and crushes down remorselessly all that stands in its path.") as well.
#tbf...the second was not a crazy prediction. it just happened to be true of margaret douglas; but not mary#boleynism#replies#mackay argues if he found any of those reports to be incorrect he would've admitted it#but...he had a vested interest in not doing so#and that he never offers any update to the report in question merits it...questionable; imo#again like all the reports he corrects; he would never have been able to get away with NOT correcting#elizabeth's name. elizabeth is to be declared 'the daughter of norris' . etc#i feel like there is a sort of reverse corroboration here insofar as...#idk. the suggestion that mary would never have held that intense a grudge if his reports on this matter were not all 100% true#which is like...more than a little facetious#anne could have been a saint (she wasn't) in every other respect and mary's hatred of her would still be entirely understandable#as the woman that is the cause of her mother's abandonment and exile and her own#as she would have seen it.#*saint as in the secular colloquialism of the word. lol#(also it's not a prediction or if it is he doesn't admit it is lol. it's a report that that is decisively what's happening#that proves false. so)#all that would have been enough. all thomas summarized there. the separation of mary from her mother etc#mary is separated from her mother and never sees her again. she dies before she can. of course she would hate anne boleyn#it happened when she was judged to still be at the height of her influence with her father. she might've blamed her father too .#but it really is also the timing. it is what is most comforting to believe. which is that an evil woman prevented it and that god then#paid her out.#god doesn't pay her father out. he has a son. just by somebody else.
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What if Neil was trans and had a baby after Mary died?
I've seen a few atfg fics where Neil has a sibling or kid but all the ones I've read were heavily influenced by Mary's presence. It got me thinking about what it would be like if she wasn't around when the kid came into the picture. I wrote a little prologue, lemme know if it's something you guys might wanna read.
**trigger warning: mentions of SA, forced pregnancy, and traumatic childbirth**
Hope was a dangerous, disquieting thing
đ©”đ©·đ€đ©·đ©”Prologueđ©”đ©·đ€đ©·đ©”
When Neil was fourteen, his father caught up to them in Seattle and he got separated from Mary. Nathan went after Mary and a couple of his men went after Neil. While they were apart, Neil was raped for the first time and Mary was beaten for the last time. Somehow, they both escaped, managing to reunite at one of their emergency rendezvous and take off running.
That's where their luck ran out though because they only made it to California before Mary's injuries finally bested her. In the end, his mother couldn't go on but she made Neil promise to keep running because one of them had to make it. With no other choice, Neil burned her body, buried her ashes on the beach, and did what he had promised.
Then, impossibly, things went from bad to worse â After a month of just sort of drifting in his grief, Neil found out he was pregnant.
He had no way out this one, there was no backdoor to slip through or bus to catch. He couldn't risk someone contacting the police or social services when a fourteen-year-old turned up at a clinic to request an abortion without parental consent. And, even if they weren't incredibly dangerous, any illegal methods for a termination risked Nathan tracking him down. So, with no choice but to keep the pregnancy, he spent the next eight months jumping from place to place, trying to remain out of sight whenever possible. And he hated every minute of it.
He spent the entirety of his pregnancy terrified and alone, and he gave birth alone too. He hadn't been able to see any doctors or go to a hospital for obvious reasons. He tried his best to have a healthy pregnancy but the research he had managed to do on childbirth was extremely limited. He didn't even know what was happening really before he ended up giving birth in a back ally somewhere â fourteen years old and completely alone.
The baby hadn't cried at first and Neil had never been more terrified than he had been in those few seconds. That first cry brought a relief heavy enough to break him completely. His plan the whole time had been to give the baby up, just leave them at a fire station somewhere and pray they'd have a better life than he did. He thought about it a thousand times but every time he looked at his daughter's face, and he just couldn't do it. He couldn't give her up. He didn't want to be alone again.
So he picked himself up, skipped town with his daughter craddled close, and decided to do the one thing he had always wanted; He cut off all of his hair, taped down his chest and started telling people he was a boy. He had always felt like being a girl wasn't right for him but he never dared voice this while on the run with his mother. Without her controling everything though, he was free to do this one thing for himself, and he hoped it might even help him stay hidden. More importantly, it helped him reclaim part of himself he thought he lost after the rape and pregnancy.
The first few years, they moved around a lot because Neil was always worried someone would start to notice the teenager and baby without parents anywhere in sight. However, when his daughter was almost three, they ran a ground in Millport, a dying town where they could squat in an empty house unnoticed. Neil just needed a moment to breathe. So, he got an ID that said he was eighteen which let him go to high school and play Exy without anyone needing to speak to his parents. Then he forged the signatures of their fictional parents to get his daughter enrolled in preschool and after school childcare for the days he had practice. Finally, he got them phones for emergencies and pretended to be his mother any time someone called.
He became Neil and he gifted his daughter his middle name, Anastasia, and on paper they became the Josten siblings.
He knew they would need to pack up and leave soon enough, but he was exhausted and he just wanted Ana to have a semi-normal life for a year. He'd clear out after graduation and figure out where to go from there. But just as their time in Millport is running out, in walks David Wymack with an offer that's too dangerous to trust but too impossible to leave behind...
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Wonders of the Invisible WorldÂ
Tags: Body horror, major character death, Implied/Referenced child abuse, original characters, pitch/sandy, Katherine/nightlight
summary:Â
Through hundreds of years of strange things happening all over the world, finally someone sees. The Bennett family is now at the forefront of every children's tale - except, now, they learn that these tales are not only real, but much, much darker than they first thought.
For @rotg-halloween day twelve: SlitherÂ
Read it on AO3
1Â /Â 2Â /Â 3Â /Â 4Â /Â 5Â /Â 6Â /Â 7Â /Â 8Â /Â 9Â /Â 10Â /Â 11Â /Â 12Â /13
chapter eleven:Â Slither
under cut
Being stuck between the tick and the tock wasnât ideal. One grew impatient. One grew hungry. He could see everything that Ombric, his old friend, could see. He knew Ombric was gone. He knew he was stuck.Â
He couldnât affect anything here. He couldnât feed.
He slithered across the world, seeing time branch into nothingness. Every decision that would ever be made wrapped around him.Â
He observed.Â
âMaybe we should try again,â North said.Â
âWe hadnât been needed,â Tooth replied. Bunny sat across from her, eyeing Sandy and Pitch. They were together, a perfect balance of fear and dreams. Their hands intertwined.Â
âMaybe,â Bunny said. âWe havenât tried being Guardians after the boy came back wrong. Now heâs human. Maybe that is a sign that we have to try again.âÂ
Katherine sat away from the group, separated by choice.Â
âNothing is going to happen or change if we do,â she muttered. North looked down at her.Â
âNightlight is gone. You must accept that. What you did wasnât good, but we havenât been very nice lately.âÂ
Pitch smiled at Katherine.Â
âI know. The pep talks are annoying, arenât they?â He teased. âYou can be good! Ha! I am Fear. You are Stories and Nature. None of us are good. We just are.âÂ
He moved away from them, going forward into the present. He couldnât sense any dreams here. He was hungry.Â
Jack and Mary stood next to the remains of their home. The snow blew down from the trees, making it look like it was snowing. Jack was shivering slightly.
âWhat happened to Mother?â Jack asked.
âShe died of old age. She never wanted to be immortal. She wanted to see you and Father again.âÂ
Jack hummed.Â
âYou look like her. Just a bit.â Mary gave Jack a small smile.Â
âLife suits you, Jack. What do you want to do with it?âÂ
Jack sighed, craning his neck up to stare at the stars. They sparkled. The moon was shining. The sky was navy.Â
âIâm not sure. Iâve spent so long being dead that I donât know anything about living. I can only tell you what I wanted before this. I wanted to be a father. Thatâs all.âÂ
Mary took Jackâs hands.Â
âThat wonât be for another decade or so. What do you want now?âÂ
Jack smirked mischievously.Â
âI want to live. To see everything the world has to offer.âÂ
Mary grinned.Â
âYouâre talking to the right witch for that. Come on! Ever want to see Transylvania?â Jack laughed as Mary pulled him away, almost like they were just two kids having an adventure near the pond.Â
Lermantoff slithered into town, finding the house of the humans who helped defeat them. His hunger was consuming him now, but he could not feed.Â
Joyce held her children close to her, cuddling on the couch as a movie played. Vivian sat on the arm of the couch. Andy splayed across the loveseat.Â
âThatâs a bit unrealistic,â Jamie said. The movie displayed an inaccurate portrayal of the magical world.Â
âYeah,â Andy said. âThe zombies are always pretty sad.âÂ
âThis is really anticlimactic when youâve faced the end of the world,â Joyce said.Â
âGreat!â Jamie complained. âMovies are ruined for me.â Vivian chuckled.Â
âI think weâre just being a bit too judgy.âÂ
Joyce turned the movie off just before the characters started to fight the zombies. She sent out a blue wolf around the room. It glittered, sending everyone a sense of calm and contentment. Her locket glowed softly.Â
Someone knocked on the back door.Â
Vivian held out her axe, before dropping it as she realized it was just Mary and Jack.Â
âHey!â Andy opened the door, ushering them in.Â
âI fixed your car for you,â Mary said, nodding towards Joyce. âI also made the cops forget they found your car at all.â Joyce smiled.Â
âThank you.âÂ
âIâve been dead for centuries. I want to see the world,â Jack said. âYou donât have to take me in. Iâll live with Mary and Shadowbent. I promise I will visit.âÂ
âYou kinda have to,â Vivian said. âBeing our great-something uncle and great-something grandma youâre being forced to spend holidays with us.âÂ
Jack grinned. Mary shook her head.Â
âIf you all start calling me Grandma I will put a curse you.âÂ
âIâm frightened,â Andy deadpanned. Jamie giggled.
They walked outside to where Shadowbent and Sorina were waiting.Â
âReady to go?â Mary asked. Jack nodded.Â
âWeâre not taking your broom?â
âThe wolves are faster. Trust me.âÂ
Sophie and Jamie hugged Jack.Â
âCome back, okay?â Jamie asked. Jack smiled.
âI promise.âÂ
Goodbyes were said, and they were off.Â
Lermantoff slithered back to the sea. It was quiet, as the winter season was in full swing. Hunger was in full force. He bit his tail, feasting on his self.Â
The hunger never stopped.Â
It would repeat over and over again. Life eternal and death everlasting. There was no fighting it. Change could not be stopped. It was just how it was.
#Itâs done!#rotghalloween2024#rise of the guardians#rotg#guardians of childhood#pitch black#sanderson mansnoozie#e. aster bunnymund#toothiana#nicholas st. north#jack frost#jack's sister#mary overland#skreeklavic shadowbent#lermantoff serpent#jamie bennett#sophie bennett#ms bennett#katherine shalazar
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When you worship an idol, you do not worship God, but you worship a rock. When you make for the Prophet Jesus or his mother, the Miss Virgin Mary, or any other person or anything and worship him, then that is not God, and your action is the greatest of sins because you worship other than God, and worship is only for God, God is not An idol, God sees and hears everything, God is not formed in the form of a creature, God is not weak, God is not born, does not die, does not sleep, does not eat, God is one, not two or three, only one, and there is nothing like Him, and He is the Mighty, the Merciful
Muslims: Jesus was a great prophet.
Catholics: Jesus is the second person of the Holy Trinity. He is the Son of God. Jesus is God.
ââââ
Muslims: Acknowledges that Mary is the mother of Jesus with great respect, but not seen as a saint.
Catholics: Mary is not a goddess. She is human and chosen by God. She was born without Original Sin and so filled with the grace of God that she never sinned. She was and is always a virgin. She is the arc of the new covenant, her holy womb being the womb to bare the Son of God Himself, Jesus Christ. She was assumed directly into Heaven because of how holy she is. Hell was never her choice and Purgatory wasnât needed. Sheâs our Mother because Jesus gave her to us (and us to her) at His Passion. We donât worship her but we acknowledge she is the Mother of Jesus and a powerful intercessor.
ââ-
Muslims: Donât believe in the Communion of Saints.
Catholics: Believes in the Communion of Saints (no they are not gods and goddesses). Any human who enters Heaven is a saint. We also consider some angels to be saints.
âââ
Muslims: Worship God alone.
Catholics: Worship God alone.
ââ-
Muslims: God is omnipresent and omnipotent.
Catholics: God is omnipresent and omnipotent.
âââ
Muslims: God is God and not formed like a creature.
Catholics: God is God. The Holy Trinity cannot be separated from one another; they existed before the concept of time. The Holy Spirit in one of His forms looks like a dove but the Holy Spirit isnât a plain dove animal. The Holy Spirit is the expression of love between the Father and the Son.
âââ
Muslims: God is not weak.
Catholics: God is not weak.
âââ
Muslims: âGod is not born, does not die, does not sleep, does not eatâŠâ
Catholics: I believe in God, the Father Almighty, Creator of Heaven and earth; and in Jesus Christ, His only Son Our Lord, Who was conceived by the Holy Spirit, born of the Virgin Mary, suffered under Pontius Pilate, was crucified, died, and was buried. He descended into Hell; the third day He rose again from the dead; He ascended into Heaven, and sitteth at the right hand of God, the Father almighty; from thence He shall come to judge the living and the dead. I believe in the Holy Spirit, the holy Catholic Church, the communion of saints, the forgiveness of sins, the resurrection of the body and life everlasting. Amen.
ââ
Muslims: ïżŒThere is nothing like Him.
Catholics: There is nothing like Him.
ââ-
Muslims: âHe is the Mighty, the Mercifulâ
Catholics: God IS love and mercy itself.
ââââââââââââ-
Although we have our differences, I know we can find common ground because we believe in one God and it is God alone we worship. Although we have many differences, we can bring peace to each other in this life. So I will extend my hand to you. May you have a peaceful week and may God bless you.
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Hello!! Time after time for the way you left me â Little Harry comes back from wizard play group and someone nasty told him his mummy used to be married to someone else, not his daddy. He asks James and Lily about it with a frown when theyâre home. How do they handle the convo? Do they try to explain about the war, about James going missing, about Lily trying to move on and how mummy wasnât married but she almost was but she always always loved your dadâŠ? (Getting carried away myself!) Would love to see how youâd write it/imagine it đ
Hi!! Sorry it's taken me a while, I fell down a hole (went back to work) and have only just managed to raise my head again lol. You really went for the throat with this one and I love it. Hope I've done your vision justice!
Many years down the line from the end of the way you left me...
"Daddy," Harry piped up, a forkful of peas half way to his mouth and a sweet frown on his little face. They were used to the intense discussions that Harry wanted to have at every moment of the day; he was a curious boy, and he didn't mind letting his food go cold if he needed a question answered. "Are you definitely my daddy?"
Lily shot James a glance, eyebrows raised, from across the table. Her husband adjusted his glasses, now frowning too, and leaned forward. "'Course I am," he replied. "What makes you think I might not be?"
Harry swallowed down his peas and replied, "Susie at playgroup said mummy was married to someone else and that meant you're not my daddy."
Lily had to set her mug down, blinking in surprise; James looked over at her, and she held his gaze a moment, letting the pieces slot together in her head. Susie at playground - that must have been Susan Bones. Who was Ed's niece.
Well, it was nice to know that her ex-fiance's family still spoke so well of her.
"I wasn't married to someone else," she told her son gently. "But we were engaged - that means, we were planning to get married." Truthfully, it had been a while since she'd thought about that time: the memories were bittersweet, to say the least, and life was so full now, she was so happy, that there was no need to linger on it. "Daddy was...away, for a long time, and..."
She trailed off. Harry was too young to understand the very complex situation they'd found themselves in, and besides, she didn't want to upset him with the news that they'd all thought James had died. Harry was going through a bit of a separation anxiety phase at the moment as it was; adding in the information that his parents were mortal and could disappear out the front door, never to return, was not going to help matters.
Thank Merlin for James. He reached across to give her hand a squeeze, a soft smile on his face as he looked over at their son. "Lots of people have special people in their lives before they get married," he told Harry. "Mummy had someone called Ed who helped her feel better when she was very sad."
Harry looked at his mother appraisingly, a spark of worry still clear in those vivid green eyes. Their little boy was so thoughtful, so caring: it was times like this that she wanted to gather him up in her arms and never let go. (All the time, really. Sometimes he let her, sometimes he was more interested in playing with his toys.)
"You got happy again, Mummy?" Harry asked earnestly.
"I did," she confirmed. "And Daddy makes me happy, and you do, too."
Harry beamed. "And Uncle Padfoot and Uncle Moony? And Aunty Mary?"
Lily laughed. "Yes, them too."
"Lots of things make Mummy happy now," James added, leaning in a little further and lowering his voice as if about to share a secret. "You know what makes her really happy?"
Harry dropped his fork and leaned in, too, his eyes wide. "What?"
"Stealing chips off little boys' plates," James whispered.
Harry let out a horrified gasp, tugging his plastic Puddlemere United plate - his prized possession - towards himself and away from his parents. "No!"
Lily laughed, standing up - and she couldn't resist ducking down to press a kiss to her son's cheek. "You'd better eat them up quick, then, Harry."
A minute or so of contented munching followed, only interrupted by, "Daddy? What's at the bottom of the sea?"
It seemed like Harry had moved on already.
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Hi there!
Hi! Hello, I am Midd, better known as meepsmun. Writer for my ffxiv oc, Meeps Ior and her family.
About the Mun
Some things about me before you interact:
Iâm 30+, so please, do not interact if you are a minor.
Happily married to Mr meepsmun.
I have often debilitating depression and anxiety.
Iâve had issues in the past interacting with people outside of my blog due to my personality, so interact at your own risk.
On to Meeps...
Some basic information about Meeps:
She is currently 33 years old.
She is 4â9â.
She was born Fae Ior, hence the name of her son being Fae'a Ior.
Her favourite food is fish paste cake.Â
Her white highlights are natural.
Despite showing all the signs, she is NOT a Warrior of Light. Her âblessingâ is not from Hydaelyn.
She has a golden carbuncle named Vauthry that eats meol kibble.
[A Link to the current list of Ships]
[Random Meeps headcanon #1] [Random Meeps headcanon #2] [Random Meeps headcanon #3] [Random Meeps headcanon #4] [Random Meeps headcanon #5] [Random Meeps headcanon #6] [Random Meeps headcanon #7] [Random Meeps headcanon #8]
Mini fics
[Dawntrail Mini fic - Meeps x Koana] [Endwalker Mini fic - Meeps x Estinien] [Stormblood Mini fic - Asahi]
More Meeps info below~
Relationships
Meeps' Children
She is the mother of two beautiful children: Faeâa (currently 11) and Marie (currently 6). They have different fathers.
Fae'a Ior
Fae'a is Meeps' oldest child. He is currently 13 years old. Fae'a was born before the events of ARR. His father is Elidibus.
Marie Ior
Marie is Meeps' youngest child. She is currently 8 years old. Marie was born post-Dragonsong war. Her father is Charibert.
Past Relationships
Meeps has had two past relationships: Charibert (itâs complicated) and Elidibus (it's extremely complicated). Elidibus is the father of Faeâa, Charibert is the father of Marie.
Charibert
Meeps meets Charibert during A Realm Reborn, when the Ishgardian Inquisition becomes involved in the investigation into heretics at Camp Dragonhead. There is a spark between them, but nothing happens and the two part ways.Â
They next meet during Heavensward, when Charibert had become a member of the Heavensâ Ward. The spark is reignited and the two begin an affair. Meeps was very much in love with Charibert at the time and outwardly, Charibert appeared to be the perfect partner. Yet, in the end, it turned out to be a lie. Charibert had been using Meeps as a means to get information on the Scions. Meeps gladly spoke to him, trusting him and seeing it as him taking an interest in herself and her companions.Â
By the time the truth was revealed to Meeps, she was already pregnant with Marie. Meeps chose not to tell Charibert of her pregnancy and so he died without knowing he had fathered a child.
Elidibus/Themis
Meepsâ relationship is, simply put, extremely complicated and sadly, one of tragedy. To explain it fully, we have to go back to ancient times, to Amaurot.Â
In the world unsundered, Meeps was an ancient by the name of Selene. Selene was the wife of Elidibus. The two were very much in love. When the time came for Elidibus to become the heart of Zodiark, he fused a part of his soul with his beloved Selene, so that they would never be separated.
It is this shard that gives Meeps her âblessingâ, which gets her mistaken for a WoL. It is also this shard that allows Elidibus to recognise her. Except Elidibus never sees Meeps as Meeps. He recognises her as his wife, Selene. He is convinced that when the rejoining is complete, she will become the woman he loves once again and remember the life they once had together. Despite this, Meeps has his son, Faeâa, tying the two together even more.Â
Following his death, Meeps begins dreaming of her life as Selene, showing her the past life Elidibus desperately wanted her to remember.
#ffxiv#ffxiv screenshots#my screenshots#gpose#oc: meeps ior#meeps ior#meeps headcanons#look who's back
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The Life and Times of Charlotte Aline Margaret Lancaster nee Nelson, Lady, Crown Princess, Duchess, Queen
AN: This post is a beast and if you have gotten to the end and read the whole thing congratulations and thank you for indulging me in this deep dive into Charlotte as a character. I have been working on this post for a wee while now and it kept growing and growing. She hasnât shown up much in my story but as I have fleshed out the characters in the background, I grew very fond of her â€Â
Previous| Beginning  | Next
Transcript under the cut
Charlotte â How did it come to this?
My childhood was a relatively happy one. My brother, sister, and I spent most of our time in the country, sometimes mother would join us but father was often too busy in town and she would be there to support him and host his parties. I didnât realise at the time that, as the Duke of Northumberland, he was a high ranking member of the aristocracy. All I knew was that he was never there.
Once I came of age, my mother set about preparing me for making my social debut. She impressed upon me again and again how important this was. I had to make the perfect match. As a woman I had limited options outside of marriage. As the eldest daughter of the Duke of Northumberland, they were down to almost zero.
On my first visit to Goldsborough Palace, my future home, I was so nervous and I dearly wished I was back home in the rolling fields of Chatfield Estate. I did come to love the big old building but right then the facade seemed so intimidating and there were so many people jostling to gain favour. This is also when I realised exactly who my father was. We were escorted to a separate room and before I knew it, I was being presented to the King and Queen without the ever-present crowds of courtiers. I met my future husband that day too. Not that I knew anything of my fathers plotting and manoeuvring but after that meeting, I somehow gained the King's approval and my path was set.
The joy I felt on my wedding day was real. It felt like everyone in Illyria had come out to see me marry a Prince. Edward was charming, handsome, and eloquent. Everything someone of my status looked for in a husband. He listened to my thoughts about the books I read and the parties I went to as part of my new role as Crown Princess. While that may seem a low bar now, I remembered how distant my own parents were and this was a revelation. I quickly became pregnant to everyone's joy. While Mary was not the boy everyone was hoping for, I had an easy pregnancy and there was no reason it would not be a boy next time. And they were right, George came along next and the future of the Crown was secure. George was not even a year old when King Edward I died and my Edward became King Edward II. We all thought we would have more time to enjoy our marriage and grow our family, but not even Kings are immune to disease.
I was just 27. It was an adjustment, becoming Queen but it was something that my mother had prepared me for my entire life and it quickly settled into a rhythm. I saw less and less of Edward but he seemed to be growing into his role, from a charming debonair youth to a mature man. Little did I know that he was continuing his youthful pursuits elsewhere. But I carried on in ignorant bliss, going to parties, opening exhibitions and fulfilling my role at state occasions. A few years later, Thomas arrived. He was a gorgeous little boy, always smiling and giggling.
He would run through the halls of the palace with Mary chasing after him, his shrieks of laughter echoing in every corner. Â But life had been going too well, and I had become comfortable. While on a State visit to Ochya, we were called home urgently. Thomas had caught the flu and was steadily declining. We barely got there in time to say goodbye. Thomasâ death was the hardest thing I have ever had to endure. The guilt was crushing. I was not there for him when he needed me the most. I ceased all my engagements and barely left my rooms. Edward didnât understand my withdrawal from public life. He lost himself in his work, upped his engagements, trips, and meetings. He did not darken my bedroom again.
George and Mary gave me a purpose to keep going. I became determined to not let them down as I thought I had let Thomas down. Mary was easy, as the responsible one of my children. She soon made a love match with the Crown Prince of Etrium and moved away to start a new life that would be filled with love, children, and new responsibilities far away from Illyria. George was like his father in many ways, charming and easy-going until he didnât get his way. I indulged him too much, I realise now. In my attempts to protect him, I didnât let him learn from his mistakes. I made excuses when his behaviour brought harm to others. At the time I fully believed that my son was different to everyone else's children and that he didnât deserve the criticism. When Edward died, I was set adrift. Elizabeth was now Queen and while I tried to help guide her, it was no longer my place, it was hers.
 My children no longer needed me, with families of their own to raise. And the Crown that I had given my life to, had passed on
I bought Glamis House with the money left by Edward to try and establish a place that was mine. I had gone from living under my fathers roof to my husbands. Everything that I could ever have wanted or needed was there but it was never truly mine. But Glamis House was different, I paid for it and I set about decorating every room exactly how I wanted to. And every day I felt a little more content. My favourite days were when the grandchildren came to visit me at Glamis. I would get the staff to make up their rooms and hide little presents all around that they could find during their visit. Â We would have lunch on the lawn and not care if their outfits were messed up. Things that I cared about once upon a time didnât seem as important when we were out there. Margaret never wanted to leave after each visit. I still made trips into the city, to see friends, attend important family events but as the years went by, the time between trips became longer and longer. I wasnât as young as I used to be and the trip took more and more out of me each time.
Margaret was always the first to come and see me in my rooms at the palace, no matter what else she was up to in life. I see so much of my younger self in her. Seeing my first great grandchild christened was something I never thought I would see. The next generation of the Lancaster family is starting, as I, the last of my generation, am beginning my end. In the very end, I had all that I could ask for - my family surrounding me. I hate to see them so sad, especially Margaret but the time has come to be reunited with Thomas. I worry for the future of my family. My one regret is that I could not be there to support them in the coming months But now, I am at peace.
#This is the longest post i've ever done!#I hope it flows well#i've stressed long enough that I just need to get it out there!#lancasterroyalstory#lancasterchaptertwo#kinggeorge#the sims 4 screenshots#the sims 4 story#the sims 4 storytelling#the sims 4 royal#the sims 4 legacy#the sims 4 royal family#the sims 4 royal simblr#the sims 4 royalty#ts4 legacy#ts4 story#ts4 simblr#ts4 characters#ts4 storytelling#ts4 screenshots#ts4 royal family#ts4 royal#ts4 royalty#ts4 royals#royal simblr#sims 4 legacy#sims 4 story#sims 4 royalty#sims 4 royal
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Emmeline headcanons or fav ships?
Oh oh oh! I love her!
So canonically what we know about Emmeline Vance is that she was a part of the order of the phoenix in both wars, she was a part of the group that escorted Harry from Privet Drive in OOTP, and she died in the summer between OOTP and HBP after Snape passed on information to the Death Eaters that led to her murder (described as brutal).
Age wise, house wise, blood-status wise, friend wise, we have no damn clue and it's all up to interpretation.
Now I have headcanons that I tend to use when writing her (like the way she is in my dorcissa fic and this emmary oneshot), and I have some other thoughts that I enjoy thinking about. Generally, I make her Narcissa's age (just like Dorcas), and a Slytherin, because I like playing with her as halfblood witch in the Slytherin girls dorm.
But since we don't know her age (just like Marlene and Dorcas, she could be Regulus' age as easily as she could be Voldemort's age), I also like to imagine her being closer to Minerva and Poppy's or even Dumbledore's or Voldemort's age. An old friend to the older characters we know, a respected witch, someone firmly established in the community before the first war ever breaks out. Someone the younger members of the order of the phoenix can look up to, and someone who maybe even remembers the fight with Grindelwald.
That's not how I tend to write her though, because as much as I like to picture these characters as older than the whole "every order member was a teenager when they joined" thing, it does just make more sense storytelling wise to include more characters around the ages of those we know from canon. So for the sake of my headcanons, she's around the age of Narcissa (who for similar reasons, I tend to put in the same year as the marauders just because it's fun, but for Emmeline's story that really doesn't matter at all. It just matters that she's the same age as Narcissa and Dorcas, as well as Emma Vanity and my OC Elaheh Shafiq.)
Also my thoughts on ships differ a lot and the headcanons vary and I don't wanna make this post too long. My favourite ships for her are Emmeline/Mary, Emmeline/Narcissa, and Emmeline/Hestia/Amelia, so I might make separate posts about those later if anyone's interested but I'm not including too much of any of them in the basic headcanons. There's some emmary in here, but it's not the focus.
So: Emmeline Vance.
Halfblood witch: Halfblood dad and muggleborn mother. Her dad died when she was young and her mother raised her in the muggle world, secretly hoping Emmeline would be a squib. Magic wasn't something Emmeline was excited about, but something she feared recognising in herself.
Intimidated by the thought of going to Hogwarts, even more so when she got sorted into Slytherin. Her mother told her to stay away from purebloods and their antics, and now she found herself surrounded by them.
Her best friend is Elaheh Shafiq, the youngest and most talkative daughter of the Shafiq family. She's pureblood, with three Hufflepuff sisters and a heart of gold that's never read a social cue in her damn life. Emmeline is quiet and attentive, notices everything and says very little. They click immediately.
They share a dorm with Emma Vanity (a halfblood witch who's determined to become famous and marry a pureblood wizard so everyone will forget her bloodstatus) and Dorcas Meadowes (a pureblood witch who's struggling to find a line between appreciating her ancestry and staying away from pureblood fanatics), later joined by trans girl Narcissa Black.
Emmeline gets along with Narcissa much more than she expected to, but it doesn't last long after they get a bit older. They share a relatively close friendship for two years, and then never again.
She intends to stay out of the war because she doesn't want to worry her mum any more, but as they get to the later years of school and she sees more and more cases of murder in the Prophet, and she hears more other students talk about wanting to fight (or, worse and in Slytherin more common too, becoming death eaters), she changes her mind.
Seventh year Emmeline starts preparing for an auror training with all that she has. She ignores most of her (some former) friends, refusing to play nice with anyone in allegiance with future death eaters any longer, and is very very sad that this includes Emma Vanity and Narcissa Black.
As soon as she graduates, she's accepted into an auror's program. Here she becomes friends with Frank Longbottom, Hestia Jones, and is happy to reconnect with slightly older Slytherin Kingsley Shacklebolt.
Through Frank and Kingsley, she joins the order as soon as Moody thinks she's up for it, and she becomes a valuable asset to the fight. She stays to herself, not trying to make too many new friends after her training is done. When everyone starts dying, she's quite grateful for that.
Emmeline finds it incredibly difficult to stop feeling like she's at war even after the first war is over. She becomes a feared and infamous auror, working closely with Moody to round up any escaped death eaters, and she's one of the few people who totally understands his extreme paranoia.
This is what starts and ends her relationship with Mary MacDonald. She meets Mary because she wants to check on fellow surviving order members after the war, and they fall in love through shared trauma and a desire to find something positive in everything they've gone through.
They break up because Mary can't continue to stay up every night wondering if Emmeline's gonna come home from auror's missions alive, and Emmeline can't bring herself to stop fighting because every moment she doesn't spend trying do fix the world feels like a moment she wastes the sacrifices of those who didn't survive the war.
It takes her years to stop fighting. She eventually manages to gain a position high up in the auror's office where she doesn't have to be in the field as much, and she finally gets herself to feel alive even when she's not putting herself in harm's way.
Shortly after that, the second war begins. She's approached to rejoin the order, and Mary MacDonald goes as far as to seek her out to beg her not to, but the decision's been made before the question's officially asked.
Emmeline has complete faith in the order's and Harry's ability to stop Voldemort for real this time, and she's determined to help them in whichever way she can. She starts going through old order member's journals and belongings, those she can manage to retrieve.
She promises herself that after the second war ends, she'll live a quiet life. By then, surely she can say that she's done enough and she can live peacefully, maybe even find a way to reconnect with Mary. Maybe get a hobby. Live in the muggle world for a while, even.
Emmeline never expects that she's going to be betrayed. She's really tried to tone down her mistrust and paranoia towards everyone around her. She doesn't see Snape's betrayal coming.
She gets brutally murdered a year into the second war. The last thing she thinks is that she ought to have listened to her mother (who's still alive) more carefully.
#emmeline vance#mary macdonald#emmary#marauders era#marauders fandom#harry potter#hp headcanons#my headcanons#headcanons#answered asks#anonymous
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Hunter x Hunter Chapter 215 - Last words
BACK to Hunter x Hunter
it's been a while, it's nice to have time to catch up before a chapter comes out but it also doesn't press me to keep up the pace
I've been quite occupied with Baldur's gate 3
Dr Lee must be a badass if Netero considers her the best in medicine. Is she a regular surgeon or a veterinarian ? Probably specialized in magical beasts too if Netero called her specifically
I'm saying "her" because from what I remember from the anime the main doctor was a lady but I may be wrong
DAMN Netero, cutting your hair like that, don't you know a nice hairdresser. Actually he also cut his beard and mustache I think
The french translation really did a : "Kokoro t-shirt - note : Kokoro means heart"
Everything went according to Keikaku
Netero is asking Colt, he already valued his opinion and considers him an ally
I love Colt
BURN
Poor Morel and Knov, they're in way over their head
even if they're probably as skilled or more skilled (considering their age and experience) than PT for example
He doesn't look like you're laughing Netero
So Netero is off to see some old friends
By that he means someone several decades younger than him
We all know he has older friends around
Cool all the annoying people that would have tried to kill them left
The oddballs are always the best characters
Koala = peak chimera ant
Is that Dr Lee ? Because she looks badass
a nice scar on her face, I want to know more
Does she uses nen ?
Sometimes Togashi bothers me because he introduces very cool background characters that we'll never hear of again
I LOVE HER
bring her back later TOGASHI
poor Colt, he is very distraught
Yep, you can't do anything, that's how things are
some things are beyond our control
Morel noticed too, he's very emotionally intelligent
She picked up the signal on her equipment ? Nice
Poor Queen, so delusional
Colt doesn't want to add to her current organs failing one after the other but it's not really a good idea to lie like that. What if she survives
Knuckle is listening intently too
The queen is really all about birthing like most insect queen who don't have any commanding role actually
but I feel bad for her
she really didn't care about anything else
Colt will have to come to the realization she didn't care (as a mother) about him or even about any other ants lower than the King
Poor Colt, it must be so hard to have someone you deeply care about, acknowledge to your face they don't care about you at all
It's weird she only cares about one of her sons
What is Morel pondering ?
About Colt ?
Meryem and Meruemu, each translations is different
french translations tend to stick to the pronunciation in hiragana when in reality the /u/ at the end of japanese words is barely hearable
In french it tends to be /É/ in a parisian accent (the schwa, some kind of eu in french or huh in english I'd say). It's not that in belgian french or quebec french. In other french accents from France like mine I couldn't find what the central neutral vowel was (I'm not a linguist)
It's the same vowel in English apparently, you end your words with a schwa
Enough random facts
THE LIGHT THAT ILLUMINATES ALL
I wonder if it'll scorch the earth or feed the plants
If his name is actually Maryam (an arabic name) his actual name would be the equivalent of Mary
She died
poor Colt, again
I feel for him
not for the Queen though, I can't see her as just a random animal slave to her instinct
she could have been educated though and maybe choose not to eat a bunch of humans
We finally get a small explanation on why ants can talk
I love how the queens artificial organs make her look like a cyborg
AWWWW a bebe
my baby now
I wonder if the queen was going to birth more soldiers or go directly to making new royal guards
considering the fact it's small it shouldn't have a lot of power
But also, it has an umbilical cord and only the King actually grew up in the Queen's womb, the rest were separated from the Queens quite early on. I bet the eggs were expulsed when they didn't have a full body plan yet
and even less able to cry and breath
So the only explanation is : this is Meruem's twin
it didn't get much from all the humans the Queen ate
I'm tearing up
this panel of Colt is soooo good
They won't Morel
Everyone is crying
Damn you Togashi
the happy family flashbacks get me everytime
The mother is still out there searching for her kids
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the unyieldling bodement , princess elizabeth of england , daughter of anne boleyn
penned by velvet. for bloodydayshq
BULLETPOINTS:Â
name: elizabeth tudor age/dob: twenty five / 5th may 1534 status/rank: princess of england country of origin: england place of birth: the palace of placentia, england birth order: she is her fatherâs fourth child, her motherâs second - her brother edward being only a few months younger than her mother & father: queen anne boleyn & king henry tudor viii â siblings: duke henry fitzroy of richmond â (illegitimate), queen mary of spain, king william iii of england, edward seymour (illegitimate, unknown) sexuality: bisexual horoscope: taurus virtues: earnest, alleviating, enlightened vices: opinionated, impulsive, domineering marital status: n/a issue: n/a alliance(s): king william iii, the reformation, the boleyn family adversaries: the seymour family, strict anti-reformist courtiers, spain
TIMELINE:
1534 â Born in Palace of Placentia to Anne Boleyn, named after her grandmothers Elizabeth of York & Lady Elizabeth Howard, her godparents were Thomas Cranmer, Henry Courtenay, Elizabeth Strafford & Margaret Wotton 1536 â Moved to Hatfield House for her safety & education after the death of Katherine of Aragon, her mother suffers a stillborn son and Jane Seymour gives birth to a son, Edward 1537 â Edward, Thomas & Jane Seymour are beheaded to secure the rumours around William & Elizabethâs legitimacy 1538 â Mary Tudor returns to court and marries Philip of Spain, leaving England 1439 â Her first summer is spent at Hever Castle 1545 â A warrant for the arrest of Anne Boleyn is signed, but her death is only just dodged. Elizabeth remains at Hatfield House, but by the end of the year begins to travel to Greenwich Palace and Hampton Court on occasion to see her parents 1557 â King Henry VIII dies, followed by William (her older brother) as the next King of England, Elizabeth moves to court to join her brotherâs coronation and present herself as no longer daughter but sister 1559 â Anne Boleyn marries Thomas Wyatt, Elizabeth joins court again to attend the wedding
BIOGRAPHY:
The chroniclers of Henryâs Tudor Court would describe the birth of Elizabeth Tudor for years to come - mostly, her beginning was an enigma; a mythology of its own. Seymour Loyalists would whisper that she had been born from the low-hanging fruit of the Percy household due to her motherâs swindling ways. Others would declare that she had been conceived well before the private marriage between the King and his adored subject, Anne Boleyn. Others, coated in sugar by the royal household, would bear the new Princess as a holy comet sent to signal a new dawn and age upon the English royal throne.Â
But beneath each and every whisper comes a slither of truth. She had arrived fighting, her lungs heavy with breath as she took her first screams. Coated in her motherâs blood with the feral instinct of Tudor burning within her eyes, Elizabeth was heralded as the Kingâs legitimate and most beloved daughter - and in time, as Henry Tudor would insist, a son would follow.Â
Separated soon after to be fed by a wet nurse, Elizabeth barely knew her parents as a bairn. Surely, she was visited now and again but to an infant they were but strangers whoâd sometimes bring new toys or would influence her household to bow and curtsey with deep admiration. No, she didnât know them as any other normal child wouldâve - but then, Elizabeth wasnât normal. She never would be. With fire shimmering atop her crown, she was prepared to enlist herself into a lifetime offered for Englandâs future. As her parents brought forth a new playmate, Elizabeth was taught to give way and stand aside for the baby who was now heralded as the one and true heir of the English Kingdom that had once been ruled by giants - descendents of Troy, or so her nanny would whisper.Â
As a girl, Elizabeth grew fiery. In some other lifetime where she had lost a mother and her gilded title, she wouldâve been forced to become modest and coy - her own father wouldâve named Elizabeth as a bastard after all, tarnishing her to become something quite hidden within the shadows till the ever-loving touch of a stepmother who thought each of Henry Tudorâs children were deserving of a place in their fatherâs heart. But in this timeline? She had been bolstered by her blossoming relationship with her mother and father, often claimed as Princess of Hearts and future Queen of some far away land (even if Mary had been promised to the King of Spain, it did not mean that Elizabeth would not carry a crown - her governess would insist). She prepared with eagerness, studying attentively - learning foreign tongues and histories, indulging herself in horse riding, poetry and philosophy.Â
Though celebrated as a daughter of England, Elizabeth was kept from the haunted gloom of court and instead was held within Hatfield House, where she grew from girl to woman - flourishing in her fatherâs colours as she took to dancing at balls and hosting elaborate feast days and plays. Styled as the Golden Princess, she would cast a wide net to entertain friends and courtiers, often mistaking true friendship and confidants with people whoâd whisper behind sugared palms - this would ultimately lead to another sort of mythology to cloud Elizabethâs public persona. The forever growing Seymour Loyalists and Anne Boleynâs enemies would often say that her parties grew thick with the devilâs pleasure - that she bore a witchâs mark upon her navel and danced with unmarried men without a chaperone present. Others would say that her entertainment was heavenly, marked with laughter and prayer. Some wouldnât care to repeat what they saw or heard. Certainly, the truth cannot be known, but Elizabethâs reputation was soon taken over by the death of her larger than life father, the King.Â
Henry Tudor died by a wishbone - choking till his skin turned purple, grey then a bloated whitish-yellow. Elizabeth, who had been walking the gardens before retiring to her chambers, was alerted by a messenger who had been sent by her mother and brother - or should that be mended to read, King William III. No longer a daughter, but presently a sister, Elizabeth moved from Hatfield to London for both the coronation and to reinstate herself as a woman. Hands clasped, she swore to protect her brother and agreed (hesitantly) to marry if such a union would strengthen Williamâs reign. Now a sister to the King, and the prize pawn to be sold at market, Elizabeth strains against the rules set upon her - and burns with the Boleyn might that nearly every Englishman has grown to fear.Â
Now at court, her toes inching closer to the doomed centre of the Tudor court, Elizabeth must protect herself and her family - what with the ghost of war growing louder with each day that passes. No longer a girl of soft fat and small curled fists, Elizabethâs reputation is at stake. A maiden of pure white linen and an overflowing cup, the Princess bides her time and holds back any type of suitor in the hope to remain a feared Tudor.
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Tattooed Wings, CHAPTER 533, Peter Steele & OFC, Soulmate AU
SUMMARY: Mary Claire Bradley meets her soulmate- literally- the famous Peter Steele of metal group Type O Negative. But will obstacles including trauma, stalkers, and toxic family members get in the way of their life?
WARNING: mentions of child rape (nothing graphic) PTSD, milk kink, soft smut, grinding, assault, fingering, hand jobs, blow jobs, 69, P in V sex, blood, noncon rape, violence, death, vandalism, graffiti, attempted kidnapping, break-ins, wild animal attacks, terrorist attack (sabotage) consensual impregnation, bareback, impregnation kink, creampies, terrorist attacks (shootings) hit and run pedestrian accident, precipitous labor, neonatal death, abandoned baby
WORDS: 1186
â⊠And over here we have a private room, which you will be put into following your C-section to recover.â
I hummed as Elizabeth pushed me in my wheelchair. I hold holding onto Elle as the family kept up easy pace around the nurse conducting the tour of Saint Maryâs Maternity Hospital for Expectant Mothers. Peter had offered to carry me, making the surrounding staff visibly swoon at how doting he was being towards me. I had told him that I didnât mind riding in a wheelchair.
âBesides, Iâd rather not quirk your leg,â I explained as he took to a knee to press a whiskery kiss to my temple.
âI love you, my sweetheart,â he purred possessively before standing up to his full height and endcapping our party.
Little girl and Baby Tommy toddled on either side of me, the two babies holding onto the extra-long neck strings of my hoodie as not to become separated from us. Both were holding onto their little dollie friends as they went about doing their baby business, babbling softly and pattering along quietly.
â⊠and here we have the floorâs nurses station. Oh do remind me if your kids will be playing a role in bringing the Ratajczyk triplets into the world?â
âLast time I helped mommy give birth, Baby Violet Marie died,â Elizabeth muttered darkly.
âListen to me now Elizabeth,â I ordered her, the party coming to a abrupt stop right in the middle of the hallway, me pulling my daughter to stand right in front of me, where I brought her in for a tender hug. âBaby Violet Marieâs death was not your fault. It was never your fault, and it will never be your fault. Do you understand me?â
Elizabeth looked at me with teary eyes, and I knew just what she needed.
âDo you need a nice, long cry?â I asked her, pulling her in all the more tighter. âGo ahead and cry. Youâre safe now.â
I made shushing noises and rubbed at her back as Elizabeth became emotionally vulnerable yet again, something thatâs been happening more and more as of lately, I couldnât help but notice. The only thing that Peter and I could do was reassure her and just let her come in for cuddles.
âHave you been talking to Charlie?â I asked her in a quiet voice as Peter joined us, keeling next to us and wrapping his muscular arms tightly around us both. âElizabeth, would you like to me schedule you to see her for two hours at a time instead of one hour at a time?â
Elizabeth couldnât find her breath to respond, only having enough energy to release a choked cry right before retucking her face into my neck.
âDonât cry Lizz Lizz!â little girl begged from her spot hugging her big sisterâs legs. âDonât cry! Need kissies?â
âUppie uppie uppie!â Baby Tommy demanded, bouncing up and down on the balls of her feet as he ordered to be picked up. Katie picked him up, earning her a happy little cheer. âYay yay! Tank ou, Kate Kate!â He then grabbed ahold of his big sisterâs face and began to pepper her tear streaked face with loud MWAH MWAH MWAHs.
âMommy, why donât you and daddy continue on with the tour?â Katie suggested. âI can take Lizz Lizz and Baby Tommy and little girl and Isabelle and go find somewhere to go and sit. Does that sound good?â
âAre you sure, mo stĂłr?â I hummed softly, hating seeing my daughter in clear distress.
âWe can have a tea party!â she suggested venomously, grabbing Elle and Jing from me before guiding everyone off.
âI like the way you parent.â
âWell, I donât know about Peter, but I do like parenting them!â I chuckled as the nurse took it upon herself to push me, Peter and Baby Eve quickly falling into place besides me. âThey are all such easy kids!â
âI bet! I follow Elizabeth on Instagram, I really like the shorts that she started to release where she covers requested songs!â
âYeah, well sheâs a talented musician,â Peter chuckled. âKatie plays the piano also, and weâre also anticipating the babies picking up musical instruments in the future.â
âWhat do you see the babies as playing?â
âWell, Baby Tommy will probably follow in his daddyâs footsteps and take up the cello, and little girl will probably take up the drums or the guitar,â I started as we were wheeled past a nursery with a window that showcased little pink faced babies bundled up snuggly tightly in blankies and corralled in plain bassinets. âItâs too soon to diagnose Baby Eve with a musical instrument though.â
âAh, okay. Up next we have our cafeteria, Saint Maryâs hospital food is much better than your standard hospitalâs food! I must recommend the spaghetti and meatballs- so much yum!â
âMy sister will still bring me food to eat.â I blanched at the idea of eating grade school issued mystery meat. âLike no offence, but I once got food poisoning from eating hospital food.â
âWhy were you in the hospital, sweetheart?â my husband asked me, wrinkling his nose.
âOh, I had a really bad head cold, and mom was out of town for something,â I recalled in a bland voice. âDaddy overreacted- as per usual- since it was flu season, and so I was kept for an hour while testing was done on me. Near the end, I was offered a cup of chocolate pudding, which led to the food poisoning.â
âBleh,â shuddered Peter theatrically, bouncing Baby Eve on his shoulder. âSounds awful.â
âOh you have no idea, my love,â I grumbled. âFluids were coming out both ends for nine solid straight days.â
The nurse coughed awkwardly.
âMight I draw your attention back to ourâŠâ
Mo stĂłr, my dear, Irish GaelicÂ
TAGLISTS ARE OPEN/ ASK BOX IS OPEN/ REQUESTS ARE OPEN/ PLOT BUNNIES ARE WELCOMED
If you liked this, then please consider buying me a coffee HERE It only costs $3!!!
PETER STEELE TAGLIST
@rock-a-noodle
@ch3rry-c01a
#Real person fiction (RPF)#Tattooed Wings#Peter Thomas Ratajczyk#Type O Negative#Vanessa Rose Pickings/ little girl#Special needs baby#Aria Bradley#Evie Bradley#Deaf#American Sign Language (ASL)#Elizabeth Ratajczyk#Alopecia#Thomas Joseph Ratajczyk/ Baby Tommy#Autism#Katie Ratajczyk#Downâs Syndrome#Baby Violet Marie#Neonatal death#Baby Eve Lynn Ratajczyk#Abandoned baby#Matching tattoos soulmate AU
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I am Gilberte daughter of Denise N. and Emile E. West Indian born March 04, 1964 in Guadeloupe we were 11 children including the eldest Marie Alice my half sister who lived with my grandmother and not with us in Pointe Ă Pitre who was born from a first union between my mother Denise N. and a gentleman Guy C. (not recognized by his father Very frequent at that time)
So I start with the elders so Marie Alice, Evert, Ursule, MĂ©rid, Dany, Dutheil, Marie line, Guy, Gilberte, Sydney and Jean Pierre.
I'll tell my story a bit...
Granddaughter of Stéphanie N. and a certain Servin F. my grandmother Man Fanny is the daughter of René M. my great grandfather who came directly from India and of Maman Alice my great grandmother according to my memory and what remains to me I wanted to share this true story with my children Marvin G. my eldest son from my union with Joël G. West Indian, my second Mounina B. and my last Ethan B. from my union with Senegalese Farba B.
Stephanie my grandmother did not have a great life according to her.
It was a very difficult life because of the war (Temps Sorin) having had children from several unions because at the time it was poverty she got pregnant she gave birth and to feed her child she met another person and she became pregnant again her child was born andso on...children with several different fathers
Simon my mother Denise died at 40 years old I was 6 years old, my aunt Sonia (unknown she died bb and my uncle Victor died bb also it is common at the time)
and my uncle Robert they were from the same father, my uncle Donard L.
his father was Ti fre L., my uncle Jules (I never knew) he was adorable and finally the last uncle Paul N. his father (unknown)
my Uncle Robert we called him Pa Robait this uncle took care of us like his own children because my father did not want to assume his role of father completely I think they had too many children our parents some of my brothers and sisters had stayed with my father in Pointe aclown after the death of my mother Denise and us the little ones and my big sister Dany, Sydney, Jean Pierre and I lived with Grandmother Fanny in Bouillante.
I just wanted to clarify before the death of my mom Denise in Pointe Ă pitre at our house at home there was never a happy life filled with happiness, first my father Painter in House, did not really want to work for a boss with each hiring he ended up being firedbecause he hit his employer
Example one day bb I witnessed a scene at home you see some things still remain fresh in my memory, because violence always marks a human being especially a child, I remember my father came home very angry in saying that white his boss had himfired and he had hit him, my mum in a very soft voice asks him the reason, he tells her and he starts to hit her, hit very hard on the big fridge the hits were falling on my mum and still resonating in my head , she explains to him how we are going to do with our childrenEmily? (in Creole)
I also wanted to add because of my father my mother had friends, merchants at the market after the end of the market they would meet her to come and pick up the rest that she had not sold otherwise in the evening we would do the tour of the market with mum to pick updamaged things to eat.
This poor sucker was blowing off steam on my mom and already at the time bb I was defending my mother I tried several times to separate them a little bitch like I was, he took advantage of this cowardly man to hit and bang when my big boys brothers weren't there they were at school.
Also the one who protected our mother the most was my older big brother Evert E (who passed away in 2018) he was getting a lot of beatings instead of my mother Denise, my mother was telling my father that he was going to kill his child, every night my big brother came home very lateEvert E. to avoid my father, but my father waited until my big brother was well in his bed to jump on him and then, like a Devil, he beat him up.
Ursule my older sister (who passed away in 2008), and my brother Merid came to separate them.
Him my father did not have a good story because his father Andre P. did not recognize him but my father never told us anything about his story he never spoke I sometimes went to visit my paternal grandfather Andre P. When I was still a child in Guadeloupe.
He welcomed us well he was breeding birds (pigeons) he was very kind to his grandchildren.
I specify that after the death of my father he had a lot of land in the West Indies
but none of us are heirs, for he preferred to leave to the state.
and also my brother Dutheil protected my mother and defended her but much later when he was a little older (after my mother's death he avenged it he hit my father in turn explaining his childhood to him all that he had put our mother through and he had to pay my fatherhad had an accident...and Dutheil was merciless...it's a bit hard to tell...in short, the only person who took pity was my sister Marie-line)
Pa Robait passed away in 2021, I knew him well, because he raised us with Grandma
Man fanny married very late with a gentleman Daniel P. I did not know this gentleman she was a widow.
I remember that my grandmother was very funny sometimes after she had been lying in her bed for 7 years because she had been sick, she had been announced her death, a priest had come to give her her last hour. He was wrong
One day she got up she could all do her garden go to church... .afterwards she had her clothes made by a seamstress and she wore almost only white, a little blue on Sundays she got up very early she prepared the Sunday meal (my grandmother was a real cordon bleu) .. . .roasted pork, white rice and red beans or pigeon peas.... avocado casave cod ti punch mango lemonade or corrosol juice or guava juice for the children finally we were spoiled on the day of the lord... .but you had to follow her to church. Except my brother Guy who was gone once and he fell in the church so he didn't come with us.
So one day my father left Guadeloupe to live in France and left us at Grandmother's we were all at Man Fanny's with more happiness and cheerfulness because we had found a family G., cousins ââof our very ages close and kind.
We weren't very obedient Poor Mammy...she was screaming telling us when you go to France, I WILL BE RELIEVED...but deep down she adored us too much.
Separation from our grandmother and us
Then one day we flew to France decision of my older brother Evert and for several weeks she cried a lot Man Fanny and I was very sad to leave her. ..
Very quickly in France we were with my big brother...we had more comfort, we moved several times for more space.. .but we lacked that warmth and attention, I remember my brother Guy when he arrived he was crying every night he couldn't stand being taken away from his grandmother and his country he always said he was going to leave again and he did it when he came of age in France hewas called to go to the army he refused he was in Guadeloupe but there.
We have caught up with her since they live with him and his Hungarian West Indian family in Guadeloupe.
Separation from my older brother and us in France
(my older big brother Evert was married but had a double life he had divorced and remarried)
It was to be expected one day my older brother without discussion taking us back to boarding school my sister Marie Line and I at the Catholic sisters Françoise Cabrini school and my brothers, Guy, Sydney and Jean Pierre at the Francis Barbe boys' boarding school.
My brothers were not well there unlike us my sister marie line left at 18 to leave boarding school but for me personally my life was much better I grew up with catholic sisters and girls from several countries, very few Asians and Frenchblack girls during the holidays we went to many regions in France and Europe skiing in the winter and to the sea in the summer ... good life finally pocket money every month ... buying clothes in winter and summer leisure and outings....
But not the love nor of Maman and Man fanny I underline that I needed them so much that I still wet the bed at 8 years old....Sister Sophie was very kind and understanding she woke me up....
In 1980 We had a surprise my big brother paid us the trip to see Grandma in the West Indies it was a big surprise for my grandmother, 17 years had passed, all surprise she called me Fem catalog ..( female model)
I realized that the passion for FASHION came from my Grandmother and my daughter Nina who is studying fashion design today in 2023, in Paris took her genes, I remember when my grandmother went to church it was VERY FUN, it was a real FASHION show all ofwhite dress, matching bag with a capeline hat and a beautiful, very elegant long dress, heeled shoe with a pearl necklace and jewelry from the Bon Parfum HELIOTROPHE BLANC.
At the end of the mass she had many compliments for her elegance here is the explanation for my daughter Nina, a wink...my darling eeeee.
After my return from vacation in 1980 from the West Indies I had decided to go and help and live with Man Fanny so I booked my ticket but she died before I left How sad....
In short I lived my story in Guadeloupe and all my childhood in France single mom I had 3 beautiful children Marvin, (Bonhomme) Mounina (Nina) and the last Ethan (Thanou) (Son) with love but alone.. . .like many single women raising children, there are many of us.
Gilberte E.
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Nov 14, 2022
A timeline
My mom got pregnant in high school at the age of 16 with my sister Nicole and had to drop out. Nicole's father, as far as I know, wasn't in the picture and died very young. So, from the very beginning, my mom was a single parent. My mom was a very hard worker, so more often than not, my sister had to take care of me. I'm pretty sure my sister is the one who potty trained me. Nicole is 11 years older than me. My mom met my dad (as far as I was told, he was a friend of her older brothers), and they got pregnant with me when she was 28 and he was 40. I'm not sure to this day if I was conceived before or after the wedding, but I do know that my parents were catholic. All that meant back then was that contreception was a no-no, that if you got pregnant, you'd better be married before the baby is born out of wedlock, and that abortion wasn't an option at all. At around the age of 6 months, my parents decided to move to colorado, and I'm not sure why. I don't have any early memories of my father, especially not when we lived in Colorado, because he decided to move back to San Antonio before I could identify as an individual and formulate memories. I suspect it wasn't long after having me that my parents separated. Later in life, my sister told me my dad would beat my mom and just treat her really poorly.
Despite not having a high school diploma, my mom was able to find a job at a nursing home. I remember her saying she was a CNA, but I'm not really sure how that was possible without a high school diploma . I know for fact that she worked at a nursing home though. She would have to take me with her sometimes when she didn't have child care. She made enough money to support two children and live in an apartment. My sister eventually ran away to San Antonio from Colorado (at least that's how I remember it), because she missed her boyfriend Javie. Nicole got pregnant at the age of 14, and had her first baby, my nephew Javie, at 15. She then had her second child, my niece Mari, at 16 or 17. By this point, she had her own family unit and wasn't really present in our lives. All I really remember is that it was me and my mom for a while. Occasionally my sister would live with us for a few months but she didn't really get along with my mom so she would eventually leave and be on her own again.
For whatever reason, what I assume to be the death of my uncle Ruben, her brother, my mom decided to return to Texas. This is the point that our lives got turned upside down. Without a highschool diploma, she couldn't find a good paying, stable job. she usually had to work two jobs, usually fast food entry-level jobs that flopped just as quickly as she found them. She was always working, which meant she was never around. I remember vividly having to couch surf with different family members thinking that we were just spending the night and having slumber parties everywhere. I hated how many schools I went to. Ultimately, I went to 7 elementary schools, three middle schools and luckily only one high school. This was before finding out about the mckinney vento act, and how if you're homeless, under this act you can stay at the same school regardless of your physical address.
Another thing that happened when we moved back to Texas was that I met my father for the first time since being able to form memories. It wasn't shortly after, that he molested me. My mom would get upset that I wet my bed until I was 11 years old, but she didn't know this was a common side effect of child molestation. I remember whenever we would visit him, he would kiss me in a very non fatherly way...he would try to make out with me. I hated going to see him, but I continued to go because I didn't know how to tell anyone what he was doing to me.
My mother and I continued to be chronically homeless up until the day she died. I was 23. Two days prior, she and I were really excited because I had just gotten a job at a local grocery store. The night prior, I'd just gone to see the band Blink 182 play in austin. I didn't want to wake my mom up so I stayed with a boyfriend that night. The next morning, she hadn't texted me which was unusual for her, so I went back home around noon. When I entered our apartment she was nowhere to be found on the lower floor, so I went upstairs to look for her. I noticed the bathroom light was on so I knocked on the door and called for her, but there was no answer. I opened the door and was immediately hit in the face with a cloud of steam. It was almost hard to breathe with how thick the steam was. I called out to her and when I heard no answer, I pulled back the curtain and that's when I noticed she was laying in the tub, lifeless. The proceeding moments are all kind of a blur, but I remember yelling at the top of my lungs for her to wake up, and repeating "mom" overs again. When my boyfriend who had driven me grabbed my shoulder, I kind of snapped out of whatever was making me wail the way I had been. He needed me to give the authorities my information so they could come help us. I remember feeling so guilty that I hadn't been there. I had been out having fun and she had been alone. One of my cousins had told me that they had had a conversation with her earlier that morning which made me feel a little better that it hadn't happened while I was at the concert. An aunt (her sister Irma) asked me "why weren't you here for her?" and that just killed me. I felt fortunate to have received a degree in social work because we had been taught what leads a person to addiction and whatnot. I feel like that was the only reason I didn't turn to drugs and alcohol after my mom passed away. My mom had bipolar disorder so sometimes I was her golden child and other times I was only someone who held her back in her eyes. I have a lot of trauma related to my mom like my lack of self esteem, my irrational fear of cockroaches which is also tied to being homeless, but I think finding her is the heaviest.
When my mom passed away, we had been living in public housing. The officials asked if I wanted to stay and let me know that I owed them money because I never reported having gotten a job, and that I would have to be added to a waiting list like everyone else since it was no longer me and my mother, but me alone. It was pretty obvious this wasn't the life I wanted to live, so I told them that I actually didn't want to live in public housing anymore. I couch surfed with my sister for a week until she asked when I would be leaving because she didn't want to get in trouble with her apartment officials. I then couch surfed for a few months between three locations: my cousin Pricilla, my boyfriend at the time, Gabriel, and my friend Amanda. Gabriel, my boyfriend of four years, got tired of me being sad all the time and told me "I dread coming home to you." So I ended that relationship. Some of my belongings at my cousin's house had been stolen, the most valuable being my mom's gold rosaries, so I left that place. Amanda had a whole family, and I felt from the very beginning that I was burdening them, so as soon as I could I left. Thankfully at this point, my friend Rick needed a roommate so we got a place together, and while I have lived in many places since then, I haven't been homeless since.
My relationship with my sister has always been strained. She's 11 years older than me so we don't really have much in common, and at some point in her young life had to take care of me because our mother was always working. She also had a very different relationship without mother because she was the first child, and because our mom was just a child when she had her. While with me, our mom had already matured and had experience being a mother. My sister had to grow up at an early age and didn't really get to experience her youth. I grew up seeing her take her frustrations out on her children, which made me dislike her to no end. Her daughter/my niece is one of my favorite people. On the night of my niece's graduation, my sister kicked her out. I was out of town when it happened but when my niece called me, I offered her a place to stay immediately. She stayed with me for about three months, during which time my sister convinced my mom's side of the family that I was housing a runaway. They all stopped talking to me, despite my attempt to clear up what had happened. When our mother passed (before the incident with my niece), my sister was living in Corpus Christi and needed a car because hers had been totalled. Because I needed my sister here with me, I agreed when she asked me to finance a vehicle under my name. She said she would be able to make the payments and that she already had a job lined up at a place she had previously worked at. I had no reason to not believe her, so I signed for the car. Three or four months had passed and she hadn't made a single payment, messing up my credit. When I confronted her about it, she said something along the lines of "if you're so worried about your credit, you can just take the car." At this point in life, I embarrassingly enough didn't know how to drive. Nor did I have the financial stability I needed in order to finance a car, I was couch surfing for fucks sake. She knew this, so there was nothing I could do. I have a brother from my father and his ex wife. He's older than my sister but I don't know by how much because I've only seen him a handful of times. I guess I should be grateful he hasn't had the opportunity to screw me over or hurt me other than by not being around.
At my current age of 29, my aunt Nancy (my dad's sister) asked me to drive her son/my cousin Michael to Dallas to pick up his son/my second cousin Jeremy. As soon as I met Jeremy, who I had never even known about up until this point, we became instant best friends. He became one of my favorite cousins, a favorite person, the brother I had always wanted. The two months that followed, we trauma bonded over the fact that we had both been touched as children. It was the night before halloween, and I figured since Jeremy was new to town, he probably hadn't made any plans, so I invited him to a halloween party I had been invited to. At this party, Jeremy and I partook in drinking as well as smoking pot. Weed was easy to come by because Jeremy works at a dispensary. Up until this point in life, I had only ever smoked weed once or twice a year because I didn't like how it made me more anxious than usual. By the time we left, we had sobered up from the alcohol but we were still high. I drove Jeremy to his fathers house. Jeremy said I could stay the night if I wanted to because he lived on the south side of San Antonio, and I lived in San Marcos, about an hour away. I had stayed at Jeremy's house before because sometimes I drove late, and both him and his father had offered me a place to stay with open arms many times before. I really appreciated them for that, and I didn't think anything of the offer this time around. I sat at Jeremy's dining room table for a bit, talking to him about a girl that he used to like who lives in Dallas. He said he didn't feel like he had feelings for her anymore, despite just recently seeing her, and crying because we had to leave her behind. I'm not really sure what my response was, but I remember being really sleepy and telling him I was gonna crash out already. I thought it was exhaustion mixed with the fact that we had smoked weed which has the common side effect of sleepiness. So, I went to sleep really heavy that night, as a lightweight when it comes to smoking weed. I was woken up with Jeremy towering over me, giving me little kisses. One of his hands was under my shirt stroking my breast, and the other was making its way into my pants. once I realized what was happening, I pushed him off of me and yelled "Jeremy what the fuck??" I remember pulling myself away from him and cradling myself in a fetal position while sobbing. I remember telling him how he ruined everything. He just kept telling me to calm down, but kept his distance. I grabbed my things and left as fast as I could.He betrayed me. Previous to this incident I had considered moving to Indiana with a friend who would have provided a support system for me outside of Texas. Lack of a support system was the only thing keeping me in Texas, really. This event with Jeremy solidified the idea of going.
I've done everything by the book up until this point, and I'm genuinely a good person. Despite being homeless, I excelled at my studies, ranking in at #7 out of about 450 students in high school. I even made time to volunteer, which I love doing. Despite the odds, I went to college and graduated with a degree in social work. I feel like I've been working so hard to keep my head up and stay true to myself, and still these bad things happen to me. I'm really hoping that these are all just signs I need to get out of Texas, and that Indiana will prove that by providing opportunities that I haven't had in the past, and by making me feel something other than betrayed and abandoned. We shall see.
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as my son, now plays in the majors. Later on in the story I will give his name! The abuse started with my gay cousin Mike, Susansâ brother whose father raped half of the family! Jimmy Stewart! Mike did just stupid things like spin the bottle and touching my penis! Jimmy took me to work one day, as I will never forget!
We were delivering peanut butter to Teddy Peanut Butter in Charleston MA! As
we were pulling out he asked to see my penis! I was only 10 years old! He just touched it thank God! But, later in life, I found out he raped my aunt Eileen when she was a teen! That is Jimmyâs wifeâs little sister! This man was a pig! Then at
covid Emme Stewart called me and was depressed! I said Emma listen I just found my identical twin brother as that Voto family tried to lock me up with lied! I said, is everything ok? She said sadly yes! She then said Jason remember when my mother died of breast cancer? I was 15 years old! I said yes! She said we were at a family function as you came over to me and said Emma any boys mess with you, you call or come see me! Well, after you walked away I said to my grandmother Pat, a Stewart who was my favorite aunt! Emma. I said, grandma he doesnât look like them, and he doesnât act like them!! Patâs shunned her in silence and said Emma please donât ever say that again, As we know now years later why she said
that! Back to childhood, I was always separated from those 2 fake brothers of mine when I went to see my Nana or I went to see my grandfather Arthur Dolan on the other side of the family! I went up to Grand Lake Stream Maine for a week
with Arthur. By the way this all came out. My fake mother told her sisters, when Arthur died not to tell anyone of his death! Evil! Maryâs younger sister Barbara
Dolan Storella said! Mary that is impossible!! There is a little thing called the internet and Facebook, not to mention Twitter! This evil woman knew if we drove
way up to Maine for his wake, I would see my own brother and sisters eyes and know they were my family! Pure evil! I remember I loved my grandfather now knowing he was really my uncle! I was 8 years old when he took me to Grand Lake Stream to his acres of land! We called it the Poor Farm. I donât know why
they just did! He took me for a week as Stephen John and his son David were up
there that summer before me! The cleaned and worked doing landscaping and ripping weeds out of the pond! When I was there I was getting into mischief. I would let the air out of his farming tractor! Try to clime down a 300 ft well. Boy was I a hyper kid! Well we were going home from my grandfather put me on a raft in his little pond! He said just float around while I mow the farm! I was like good luck with that! The tires were very low! He said we are gonna leave at 10am
to go to the dog track in Seabrook! Post time is 12:30pm. We donât want to be late! Gramps was a big gambler! Back in the day he had his own dogs and kennel! He got them from Ireland and had many champions!    5.
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Rhona's 16 votes couldn't hold up to Diane's 34 votes.
Rhona is the local vet working alongside Paddy and occasionally Vanessa. She arrived as a locum for Zoe Tate in 2001. She is involved in a brief fling with Marlon Dingle but life gets in the way of the two. She is away for years and returns in 2010 to become partners in the practice. She rekindles her relationship with Marlon but it doesn't last long as she falls for Marlon's best friend Paddy. They get together but Rhona is pregnant with Marlon's baby. Even with high likelihood of Down syndrome she carries on with the pregnancy and baby Leo is born in May of 2011. A year later Paddy and Rhona marry and Paddy is offered a job in New Zealand. This causes problems as Leo was due to be separated from his father. The plans fall through. The next year Rhona begins to suffer from addiction to pain killers after experiencing backpain. Her good friend Vanessa tries to help her get clean but this proves difficult. Rhona manipulates Vanessa who claimed to have feelings for her to help her sober up. An overdose reveals the truth to everyone and she goes into rehab. Paddy and Rhona's marriage falls apart in 2016 when she uncovers an affair Paddy had with Leo's teacher Tess. Rhona then moves on and begins a relationship with Tess' widow Pierce. People are against her relationship with Pierce but she carries on. Her relationship with Vanessa struggles as she learns of a sex tape that the reluctant Rhona and Pierce had made. A lot of animus was driven by Pierce who tried to wreck the women's friendship. They marry in 2017 and shortly after he suggest they leave the village. She refuses and he rapes her violently. The trauma of the assault makes her relapse and she goes to rehab. Pierce is convicted of the rape and goes to prison. Later on while dating Pete Barton he accidentally drives a tractor into the barn she is in injuring her badly. She has to have a hysterectomy and goes into early menopause. Rhona's inability to have any more children ultimately dooms her relationship with Pete who wishes to have kids of his own. Rhona bonds with Graham, Kim's henchman. They have a secret game of chess and develop feelings for one another. They plan to leave the village to start over and to be with each other. The plan never comes to anything when Graham is murdered. This begins an ordeal for Marlon who is imprisoned for the murder. It later is revealed that the murderer was Pierce after he was released from prison. Pierce also holds Vanessa and her son Johnny hostage for days. Pierce goes back to prison where he sends a letter from. He hopes she would track down his son before he dies. She does this but later regrets leaving him a voice message. Vanessa meddles in the search and poses as Rhona to deter Marcus. The truth is revealed and Marcus never gets to see his dad before he dies. She inherits large amounts of money from him and uses it to buy into Butler's farm. Rhona and Marlon find one another again and get together once more. During a botched proposal Rhona's mother Mary arrives. The pair do eventually get engaged but Marlon suffers a major stroke. Rhona sticks by the love of her life and continues to cheer him on as he learns to do everything again from speaking to eating to walking. They marry in an emotional service in 2022. Rhona is a levelheaded professional vet who isn't afraid of a bit of muck. She is a devoted mother to Leo and stepmother to April.
Round 5
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Goodness do I have a treat for all of you today. Larry McQueen, owner of The Collection has sent me a lovely sighting filled with detailed information. Because the detail is frankly incredible, I decided not to edit it and present Larryâs notes in full below:
In 1936, Travis Banton, head designer at Paramount Studios, began work on the last film he would design for his favorite clotheshorse, Marlene Dietrich. The duo had worked closely together on all her films at Paramount and created the âDietrich styleâ-- a look of lavish, smoldering, hard-edged sophistication that was instrumental in creating the Dietrich legend.
 Dietrich had one final film to complete her contract at Paramount and was cast in a typical Dietrich vehicle Angel, a sophisticated Lubitsch melodrama with her in the role of an ignored wife of means who has an affair with her husbandâs friend. Banton designed the most opulent dress he had ever created for the star for the under-five-minute opera sequence and preceding scenes in the film. The ensemble was to become known as the âFabergeâ gown and consisted of a fitted long-sleeve bodice with peplum, a matching long skirt with train and a six foot stole bordered with sable. The fabric was solidly embroidered with gold beads, pearls, rhinestones, gold bullion, gold sequins and faux ruby and emerald stones in geometric designs. According to W. Robert Levine in his book âIn A Glamorous Fashion,â the costume was cost-listed on the wardrobe records at $8,000.00, an exorbitant price in the post-depression era and a price that would be over $100,000.00 by todayâs standards. The expense must have caused stirrings in Paramountâs upper management in a time when the government was asking the studios to scale back the unnecessary lavishness in costume design. Banton himself once said it was the most expensive gown he had ever designed.
 The ensemble is given credit in many film costume books as the most spectacular gown ever created. Diana Vreeland, one-time curator at the Metropolitan Museum of Art said of the costume in the book âHollywood Costumeâ Glamour! Glitter! Romance!â âWhen I think of detail, I think of Travis Bantonâs marvelous beaded dress for Marlene Dietrich in Angelâlike a million grains of golden caviar. That is one of the most beautiful dresses everâŠâ. Margaret J. Bailey in her book Those Glorious Glamour Years describes the dress âIt was simple in lines, of Persian design, and looked like a piece of woven jewelryâŠâ and â⊠caused no little trauma on the set when producers refused to give it to Dietrich for her private wardrobe.â
 Dietrich had loved the gown and asked the studio if she could keep it. It is said she was so angry of being refused by the company she help save, she stormed off the set. The incident no doubt added to her disharmonious departure from the studio. She left the studio and did not return until a decade later. Acquiring gowns and props from her films- by whatever means- was a general practice of Ms. Dietrich. After her death, The German Film Archive Foundation (die Stiftung Deutsche Kinemathek) and The Berlin Film Museum acquired her estate in 1993, which consisted of five different storehouses in Europe and the USA. In the collection were thousands of items from her career including fifty of her most famous film gowns. Her daughter, Maria Riva, once told the curator of the Frankfurt Film Museum, her mother was always in constant fear the studios would someday try to take back her collection and had kept the fact of its existence well hidden.
Paramount, however, retained the piece and began to put it to use. Re-using costumes was a common practice by studios to maintain an opulent look to secondary and background characters without the expense of making new ones. It is unknown exactly how many films the Dietrich gown was used in, but from photos found, it is obvious it was put to work and went through many transformations in the process. Mary Astor wore it, without the stole on the set of Midnight, 1939. The front was reworked and worn by Rose Hobart in the film A Night at Earl Carrolls, 1940. It was used in publicity photos as in that of Loraine Day circa 1944. With the sleeves removed, the stole without the fur was added to the front of the bodice as draping, it was worn by Felicia Atkins in The Errand Boy, 1961. The stole was cut in half to be used as a turban and worn with a sleeveless altered bodice by a model in A New Kind of Love, 1963. In 1974, the bodice was put back together and used by Diana Vreeland in the MET exhibition of films fashion and in 1985, the gown and stole was returned to its original configuration and worn by Barbara Hershey in the TV movie My Wicked Wicked Ways.
With all the different uses, the pieces took a beating. Many of the âre-workingsâ were fast and crude and some of the attempts to repair the gown involved covering damaged areas with large gold sequins. One previous ârestorationâ involved applying glue to areas and pushing the beads back together and letting it harden. The fine chiffon backing was weak and starting to split and the patterns were separating.   The costume was so fragile, it could never be worn again, but it is amazing the pieces stayed together.
In December of 1990, Paramount put the gown up for auction at Christies New York as part a larger collection of âstar wardrobe.â Larry McQueen and his late business partner, Bill Thomas, who were respected experts in the field of film costumes and had compiled one of the finest collections of the medium under the name âThe Collection,â were retained to help inventory, authenticate and price the collection and were overwhelmed to see, what they believed to be, the most exquisite film costume ever created. They were successful in purchasing it for a total cost of approximately $23,000.00, one of the highest prices at the auction. As excited as they were to own the gown, the reality of its condition soon set in. Due to the age of the garment, poor storage and multiple alterations, it could never be dressed on a mannequin because it would not support its own extreme weight.
 In 1999, four years after Bill Thomas died, Larry McQueen began the process of restoring the costume. Museum experts in preservation and restoration were consulted and much debate occurred as to whether the integrity of the gown- however poor that integrity was- should be tampered with. It was finally decided by Mr. McQueen that instead of leaving it as it was- a box of un-showable beads- the ensemble should be restored. Getson/Eastern Embroidery, who was then owned by Annie Dernderian, was approached with working on the gown. The firm had worked on the original costume and luckily had many of the beads, sequins and stones used on the original construction.
But, restoration of the garment proved far more difficult than planned. Even though the gown had only taken weeks to create, it would take years to restore. Every inch of the beadwork would have to be attached to new chiffon backing and the patterns pulled into shape and lightly tacked. Then the patterns had to be permanently hand stitched, replacing any missing stones or beads. Previous poor repairs would have to be removed. Missing areas or areas that had been glued would have to be replaced. Many of the original silk threads that attached the beads were breaking and would have to be reinforced with new silk thread. The stole, which had been cut in half and then stacked on top of its self and re-sewn, had to be taken apart, attached to a new backing and the beading attached and corrected.  Photographs of Dietrich wearing the costume were enlarged to determine what was an original pattern and what had been changed. Luckily, the patterns did repeat themselves, so where a pattern was missing, a template of an existing pattern was made to re-create the missing one. The task would involve going inch by inch and would involve thousands of hours and great expense. But, determined to see the gown restored, Larry McQueen had the work begun.
The gown could not be taken apart and beaded flat as it was originally constructed, so a special frame with a sling had to be constructed to allow access to the inside of the garment to work from the front and the back of the fabric. Beads and sequins that had to be removed were sorted and reattached in to same location if possible. Only a four-inch area could be worked on at one time and each area was photographed before and after to document the work done. The project was daunting.
 The entire fabric of the costume is composed of repeating geometric shapes somewhat like a paisley pattern. Each shape is outlined with small pearls or faceted rhinestones. Beads, pearls or sequins in different combinations fill the center portions of the design. Throughout, are patterns that contain a small grid work of bullion threading and each square filled with small pearls, sequins or a combination of sequins and gold beads. The background is of solid gold rocaille beads and the gown is sporadically studded with emerald and red glass beads. Literally millions of beads were used to create the fabric of the ensemble.
 After one year, only the bodice was approaching completion, most of the work done by Annie Denderian. But the expense was mounting and it was becoming impossible to find qualified people who had the patience and time to spend on the garment. Mr. McQueen decided that if the costume was to be completed, he would have to take over the bulk of the hands-on restoration. Having the background and more importantly the motivation to see the gown completed, he was mentored by Ms. Denderian, learning and perfecting the techniques to painstakingly re-attach the patterns and began work on the dress. Almost one year to the date of beginning the work- working faithfully five to eight hours a day- the skirt and the stole were completed. To add strength, bias tape reinforcing and a new silk chiffon lining was added by the costume house of John David Ridge and the stole was re-bordered by using existing sable by Judith Moss at LA Fur Center.
McQueen stated that he probably would have reconsidered restoring the gown had he know the time, patience and expense it was going to take, but then quickly adds that he would have done it anyway. It was just too important. In working that closely with the piece, McQueen was amazed how in touch you get with the people who originally created the garment (a process difficult to understand unless you have restored someone elseâs creation). You could tell when someone was having a bad day and cutting corners. You could tell when someone was struck with genius. You could see the differences in workmanship and technique between the various beaders. You could see the time spent on details in areas that no one would ever see. You become very close to the garment and understand it.
The gown is truly a testament to the artistry of early Hollywood. Mr. McQueen is confident the care, attention and over 3000 hours spent in its restoration would make its original creators proud. He hopes that if he leaves any legacy to the field of film costumes, one of his main accomplishments will be the âFaberge gownâ survives in the splendor it was originally created and will be shown and appreciated for generations to come.
Costume Credit: Photos, copy and all the above incredible info provided by The Collection of Motion Picture Costume Design: Larry  McQueen
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Note: If youâve not checked out Larry McQueenâs The Collection, I highly suggest you do so. Itâs incredible!
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