#mary Winchester (mentioned)

[roachingurcoach]

okay I don't really know how to frame this. but like. funniest way to confirm Dean is Ben's dad is

20 year-old Ben takes a genetics test for fun or whatever, and the results he gets back are just batshit insane. it's like. oh hey. my biological father is a known serial killer who's still on the FBI's most wanted list and has been found or thought dead multiple times. and my uncle. and my grandfather. and my grandmother. and my--

[completelymindfucked]

Quotes that remind me of Sam & Dean

[kerryweaverlesbian]

GROWN-UP-TALK

Sam and Mary poem Sam and Mary poem Sam and Mary poem.

[ebenelephant]

really don't think we talk enough about the fact mary winchester had to full on makeout with a demon while it was wearing her dad's body. what the fuck was that.

[maliciousmagpie]

Trying to figure out if a post with the names Sam, Jack, Jo(h)n, Mary or Michael is about Supernatural, Red Dead Redemption 1/2, The Magnus Archives/Protocol or Hannibal is really a wild time

[fleursfairies]

why tf is everyone always so mad at sam for having his happiest memories (in heaven) not be about his family? i mean why would they be? his mom is dead, his dads a dick, and his brother, the person who cares about him the most, is lowkey always making fun of him and picking on him. people call him selfish because he was actually able to get out. thats so stupid. he was able to go to school and live his life for awhile, he did NOT abandon his family. and yeah sure, its sad that he left dean but it is NOT his responsibility to not follow his dreams so his adult brother is less lonely, and it is NOT his fault dean stayed.

calling someone selfish for getting out of a toxic environment and trying to live a normal life is actually crazy

[deanwinchesterscherrypie]

Inescapable

Kinktober Day 1: Dom/sub

Summary:

(Inspired by Dress by Taylor Swift) Dean, Cas, and Sam go on a small local ghost hunt while you stay at home. While you get the bunker prepared for them to come home, you can't stop thinking about your dom. Dean specifically ordered you to not be thinking of him while he's gone, but you can't help it. You miss him, and when he gets home, you think you'll show him just how much.

Words: 3,919

Kinks: Dom/sub, Rope play, light degradation, teasing, spanking, punishment

Relationship: Dom Dean/Sub Fem Reader

Content/Trigger Warnings: mentions of sexual assault (only in the first paragraph), mentions of a knife, smut, cunnilingus, p in v sex, fingering, dominant dean winchester

Notes: Read here on ao3! Full Kinktober Masterlist. I hope you enjoy :)

Dean. Cas, and Sam left Friday evening for a ghost hunt. Apparently, Old Man Milton only comes back once every 7 years on his daughter’s birthday to kill young men that sexually assault or harass young women. His daughter died by a violent sexual assault and was found in the basement of a fraternity house. He searched for the boy that did it to her, but the college covered it up. Now, he’s coming back for justice. You told Dean that they shouldn’t do anything. If it were your hunt, you would have left it alone. Those guys deserved to die, in your opinion. And maybe that makes you a bad person, but honestly, you’ve literally been to hell and back. You don’t really care if wishing a painful death on rapists is a bad thing. 

The only reason you didn’t attend this hunt with the boys is because the whole topic was just a little too triggering for you. Dean suggested you stay home, and Cas agreed that the emotional trauma it brought up wouldn’t be worth getting rid of the ghost. Sam offered to stay home with you, but Cas isn’t the best hunting partner when it comes to these small hunts. So, Dean asked if you’d be alright and insisted that Sam come with him. Cas is always one call away if you need anything, and you know that. 

On Sunday morning, you get ready to start your day with brushing your hair, doing your makeup, and picking out an outfit. You don’t have much to choose from, because it’s laundry day you’re washing all of the boys clothes along with yours. It’s kind of annoying that they expect you to do their laundry, and you pointed out once that you thought it was misogynistic to expect the only woman in the home to do laundry. But Dean came back with the argument that you were only doing laundry when they were out on a hunt without you. If they were the one staying home, they would do the laundry and you wouldn’t mind. Sam offered to do his own, but it didn’t actually bother you too much. You think that Dean’s just saying it to get you to do it, but you let them have it because he said it with a really cute face and puppy dog eyes. And they do so much for you that doing some laundry or cooking a meal isn’t going to kill you. You don’t exactly like falling into gender roles, but something about them being so appreciative every Sunday night when you make dinner and have them change into clean clothes is so sweet. 

So, you pick out your outfit: a pair of jeans and one of Dean’s flannels because it’s the only thing that smells like him, but doesn’t have blood on it. You take his load to the wash first, because you know when he gets home, you’ll make him change into clean clothes. You put on some music first. You listen to a lot of Led Zeppelin while he’s gone because it reminds you of him. Before he left, as always, he told you not to think of him too much. In a normal relationship, that would be sweet. A request. But in yours and Dean‘s relationship, it was a demand. Every hunt he went on scared you, every time he left the bunker, a chill ran down your spine. You wondered if you would ever see him again. You try not to think like that, and he demands you don’t think of him at all. You don’t listen. You never do. He knows this, and he’ll punish you when he gets home. That’s sometimes why you think of him. You enjoy the punishment. It’s nice when he takes control when he gets home. 

You finish putting his clothes in the laundry and go to the kitchen to prepare dinner for when they get home. It’s your week to prepare dinner on Sunday night. Every Sunday, you make everyone have a family meal at a table. Hunters don’t get to have a normal life, so this is as normal as it gets for you. You don’t have long before they get back, so you pull out all of the necessary ingredients and set them on the counter. Normally, you’d also be doing some research while they were gone. But this hunt specifically was one that lacked research and needed more gumption than Dean could ever gather. As you’re swaying to the music in the kitchen, the song “Dress” by Taylor Swift plays through your phone speaker. This song reminds you of Dean, but in a way that’s more playful than sexy. He likes Taylor Swift, your favorite artist, but he won’t admit it. Sometimes, you catch him listening to her in the shower, but he thinks you don’t know. Sometimes, you see him adding a song of hers to his playlist. As the lyrics ring through your head this time around, you can’t help but think about how teasing it would be for Dean to come home to tear your clothes off. He always requests that when he gets home, you are in bed with no clothes. You enjoy this usually, but tonight you’re feeling a little extra. 

You prepare the food, so all you have to do is cook them. You make homemade burger patties that need to chill, sourdough bread that needs to chill to make buns, and a pastry crust for the pie. You clean up and grab your keys. Before Bobby passed, he built up a car for you out of some old parts. It was a crap car, but it barely cost you. Bobby had a soft spot for you, so he would fix the car up for you anytime it broke down or something happened. Unfortunately, when he died, you had nobody to fix up your car. It was just your luck that you remembered meeting Dean Winchester, a friend of Bobby’s, a few years back. He and his brother were well known hunters, so you didn’t think he would have the time to help. But any shop would tell you that the car was more to fix than it was actually worth. They said it was unsafe and shouldn’t be driven. They didn’t have the memories you had with that car though. So you gave him a call, and you were lucky that he was in the next town over just finishing up a case. You two haven’t left each other alone since. 

You head toward a town close by to find exactly what you are looking for. You stop into a few stores before you find exactly what you wanted. A short, white sundress, complete with a cherry print scattered across the fabric. You check the price tag because unlike other hunters, you try to earn honest money when you can. You save as much as you can and invest some of it. The dress is on sale, which just lets you know it’s meant to be. 

You check out and head back to the bunker to get ready and prepare dinner. When you walk inside, you hear a ding on your phone. You pull it from your pocket to see a text from Dean. 

We’re on our way home, Sweetheart. About an hour out. Be ready. - DW

It’s funny that he signs his initials with every text, but it’s his thing. It’s how you know it’s really him. He told you to be ready, but you should really be the one telling him to be ready….

Yes, sir. 

You go to the kitchen and begin cooking the burgers. Cas doesn’t have an appetite, but he still sits at the table with us. He always compliments the food, even though he doesn’t actually eat it. His description of food is that it “all tastes like molecules” to him. But nevertheless, Sam and Dean still enjoy it when you cook. After the burgers are cooked, you put them on a pan to keep warm and take out the dough. You make some rolls and put them on a pan to bake. The pie will cook while you’re eating, so you go ahead and head toward your bedroom to change. 

You put on your new dress and put your hair up with some loose curls falling down. You touch up your makeup a little bit and add some red lipstick. It’s Dean’s favorite and it matches your dress perfectly. You spray on some Tom Ford’s “Lost Cherry” and make your way back to the kitchen. You check your watch and see that it will be about half an hour until they get home, which is perfect timing to go ahead and put in the rolls and start preparing the pie. 

Soon, the whole bunker smells like fresh bread and sweet, cherry pie. You put all of the clean laundry in the rooms. You set the table with a whiskey glass in front of both Dean and Sam’s seats and a courtesy glass of water in Castiel’s spot. You put a wine glass in front of your seat, and pull out the rolls to replace them with the cherry pie. You take out all the extra condiments for the burgers and put the sides on the table. The locks of the bunker do a familiar click, and you know it’s game on. You hear the low chatter of the boys discussing the familiar scent wafting from the kitchen. 

Sam walks in and sees the set table. He waves the other guys into the kitchen. 

“Is it Sunday already? Man, I’m hungry!” Sam goes to pull out a chair before your hand catches his. 

“You boys go wash up first. I don’t want blood and sulfur at my dinner table. Your clothes are in your rooms. Dinner in 5.” You smile and pat his hand. He laughs a little before wrapping his arm around your shoulders and squeezing a little bit. You smack his chest gently, and he laughs and saunters off to change. Dean’s heated gaze is focused on your legs, or more importantly, how much of them he can see. Your apron falls below your dress, and when you’re turned to the side, he can see that your dress barely covers your ass. He groans low to himself and raises his eyes to meet yours. Cas speaks up. 

“Thank you for putting together dinner. I appreciate it.” He smiles awkwardly before the dirt and blood disappears from his outfit. He hangs his overcoat on the rack in the corner and then settles into his spot. Dean’s gaze hasn’t left you, and you know exactly why. 

“All of this silence and patience, pining in anticipation.” 

“Something wrong, love?” You ask with your most precious voice. You know he won’t say anything in front of Cas. He treats him like a toddler, his child that he must watch over. It’s adorable, but at the same time, he watches himself around Cas. He doesn't want him repeating things. Dean doesn’t reply, but his face looks pained. You smile and wave him off to his room to get changed. He obliges, but you can see the tension in his back as he walks away. 

“Dean seems stressed. We got rid of the ghost. Why is he upset?” Cas asks you as you make Sam’s plate. 

“Because his wife is his wildest dream, and he’s mad he has to eat dinner first.” Sam laughs as he walks out in fresh clothes. He sits at the table and smiles up at you. “I mean seriously, come on, he came home to his wife dressed up with his favorite dinner made and pie in the oven.”

“But why would that stress him out? Shouldn’t he be happy that he has the terribly domestic life he wished for?” Cas asks as you plate the food in front of him. He won’t eat it, but he likes to have a plate to feel involved.

“Son of a bitch,” Dean walks to the table, “can you three stop talking about me like I ain’t here? I am not stressed. I am exhausted from a three day long hunt. Now, let’s eat. I’m starving.” Dean’s gaze shoots up at you as he sits down. You plate his food next, and then, your own. You sit down and everyone eats in silence. 

The conversation starts flowing once everyone starts getting full, and then, it’s time to take out the pie. You head over to the oven, which is right next to Dean’s seat, and bend down to get the pie out. Your dress rides up right next to him, so he can see your cunt soaking your white lace underwear. He groans and attempts to cover it up with a cough. You chuckle a little to yourself and set the pie down on the table. You take the boys plates and put them in the sink. 

“Sam, don’t forget. It’s your day to do dishes.” You nudge his shoulder. You set out more plates and serve up the cherry pie to Dean and onto your own plate. You are on one side of Dean, so you scoop up Sam’s piece and lean over Dean to place the pie on Sam’s plate. Sam shakes his head and chuckles to himself before digging in. Cas wanders off to the library. You sit back in your seat and take a bite of your pie. Some of the cherry juice drips off of your lip and onto your chest, where Dean’s gaze falls. You swipe your finger across the juice and stick it into your mouth. Your eyes close in ecstasy, and you make a small noise of happiness. Dean has yet another cough, and you open your eyes to watch him. He hasn’t even touched his pie.

“Dean, you haven’t touched your pie?” You ask him sweetly.

“Dude, it’s delicious. You picked the right woman.” Sam says as he goes back for seconds.

Dean nods his head and picks up his fork with shaking hands. 

“My hands are shaking from holding back from you.”

You all continue to eat before you both hand your plates to Sam to wash. You bid goodnight to Sam and Cas before heading to your room with Dean hot on your heels. You barely make it through the door before he catches your wrist in his hand and closes the door behind him with his foot.

“You disobeyed me.” He states. His eyes pierce yours with pure lust and determination.

“I made dinner.” You counter, reminding him that it was your week to make dinner.

“You know the rules, sweetheart. You know what happens when you break the rules.” A glint appears in his eyes, and suddenly, he begins walking toward you slowly. The backs of your knees hit the bed, and you fall backward onto the soft cushioning. “Tell me what happens when you break the rules, love.” His voice commands. 

“I get punished, sir.” You let out with a bit of excitement. 

“Oh, were you looking forward to this?” He chuckles deeply, “Of course you were. My pretty little slut loves it when I show her who she belongs to and where her place is.” 

“Yes, sir.” You nod your head and raise your hips toward him as he climbs in between your legs.

“Oh, do you want me to touch you?” 

“Please touch me.” You ask, waiting for his touch. 

He chuckles deeply again before pulling his knife from his pocket. You back up a little before his hand comes to the back of your neck to keep you in place. 

“Don’t run away from me, sweetheart. You just asked me to touch you.” His smirk says it all. “Do you remember your safeword?” He asks in your ear. 

“Yes. Cherries.” You giggle a little at the word and how significant it’s made itself today.

“That’s my good girl.” He says as he places the knife down on the nightstand next to your head. “Sit up.” 

You sit up quickly and wait for your next instruction. You don’t always have such an intense dynamic, but you both need intense when you’ve been apart for a while. 

“Over my knee.” You shiver at his words, but do as you are told. He lifts the skirt of your dress and rubs over the smooth skin of your ass. 

“How many do you think you deserve, darling?” He says to you as he runs his finger over the lacy fabric of your underwear. 

“I don’t know, sir.” You say to him while you try to grind your hips into his legs. He lays a smack on your ass, leaving a stinging feeling. 

“I think ten is fair. Two for thinking of me while I was gone, four for wearing this slutty little dress, two for teasing me at dinner, and two for grinding yourself against my leg.” You shiver again and nod your head in response. He lifts your chin and gets down in front of your face. 

“Words.” He whispers and bites your lip. 

“Yes, sir.” You bow your head as he lets go. His fingers travel downward until he reaches the soaking spot in the center of your underwear and presses in. 

“Oh, your pretty hole is so wet for me. I can’t wait to use you.” You whine as he retracts his hand. 

“Don’t make a sound or I start over. Got it?” He grabs a fistful of your hair as he speaks to you. 

“Yes, sir.” 

He lays the first smack and your body jumps in response. You feel your hole squeeze the nothingness. You know you’re in for it, and you just hope that he’ll have mercy on you and touch you soon. 

“Nine more.” You breathe in slowly, preparing yourself for nine more. 

Smack. You just want him to touch you. 

Smack. You’re getting desperate. 

Smack. Soon, you’re going to start begging. 

Smack. You don’t know if you can handle more.

Smack. It feels so good, but it hurts. 

Smack. Almost there. 

Smack. You’re going to come. 

“I know I don’t feel you grinding on my leg, do I sweetheart?” He chuckles before laying two smacks back to back. You let out a sound that is a cross between a moan and a cry. 

“Tsk tsk, what did I tell you about making sounds?” He asks you gently. 

“We- would have to start over.” You whine. “Please Dean, don’t make me.” You beg. 

“What did you just call me?” His hand wraps itself around the back of your neck and pulls you toward him.

“I’m sorry, sir.” You look up at him with pleading eyes. He looks back at you with pure satisfaction. You can feel his cock that's been growing beneath you this whole time twitch at the sight of you. 

“Two more.” He says, and he means it. You groan lightly, and you hear his light laugh at you. 

One. It stings, but he was more gentle than before. 

Two. That one is going to leave a mark. 

“Made your mark on me, a golden tattoo.” 

“Good girl. Sit up.” He helps you forward and reaches beneath the bed. He grabs two pieces of rope that you don’t remember putting there. He smiles mischievously when he sees your confusion and scoots you up the bed. “Arms.” 

You put your arms up and he ties each arm to the holes in the headboard. That is not what you were expecting, but you aren’t complaining. That is, until he rips your dress off of your body straight down the middle. 

“I only bought this dress so you could take it off.” 

“Dean! That dress was new.” You look at him with shock. 

“Well, I hope it wasn’t expensive.” He smirks a bit before dragging your underwear down your legs. 

“Please.” You push your hips up to him. 

“Please what?” He asks, his breath grazing over your slick cunt. 

“Please touch me.” You ask. 

“My pathetic little slut wants me to touch her pretty cunt? You want me to lick your pretty clit?” He spreads you apart until you’re completely exposed to him and glistening in the dim bunker light. 

“Yes, sir.” 

And that’s when he takes his change to shove his tongue deep inside your hole. He fucks you with his tongue, occasionally slipping his tongue out of your hole and circling around your clit. You can feel yourself squeezing around his tongue. His scruff scratches the inside of your thighs, and you just want to tangle your fingers in his hair. He flicks your clit quickly and shoves a finger inside of you. 

“Is this what you wanted, baby?” He asks as he continues to hit that sweet spot inside of you. His tongue feels so good as he continues his gentle assault on your clit. He moves in quick circles. Every now and then, he sucks your clit into his mouth. He slows his fingers and fucks you slow and hard. You like it like this, feeling every bit of him. His fingers curl up inside you to rub on that spot. 

“Fuck.” You can’t help the sounds that come from your chest. 

“You’re so fucking sexy, baby. See, this is what good girls get when they behave.” He taunts you, moving his thumb to your clit and his mouth to your sensitive nipples. 

You start riding his fingers harder, chasing the orgasm that his fingers are promising you. You close your eyes in pleasure. 

“Look at me, sweetheart. I want you to see me when you come.” He says, watching your every emotion. He switches out his fingers for his thick cock. He rubs the tip against your sensitive clit and has you whining for it. He pushes into you slowly, but that’s the only time he’s slow about it. He rams into you and fucks you hard. He is relentless and merciless. 

“That’s it, pretty girl, only I can make you make those sounds.” He whispers in your ear. Your arms pull against the ropes, but you’re unsuccessful at breaking them. You buck your hips toward him as you chase your orgasm. He starts rubbing your clit, and you feel it coming on. 

“Come for me.” He whispers in your ear as you let loose the orgasm that's been building inside of you. Your legs shake a bit and your back arches off of the bed. 

“Good girl.” He says as he slips his cock out and pumps it a few more times before rolling his head back and letting out a groan as he comes on your stomach. You love watching him come at the sight of you. 

He reaches forward to the nightstand next to you and grabs the knife. You look at him with confusion until he leans forward to your wrist. You realize he’s going to cut you out of the rope. You hear a scratching noise and attempt to look above you, but you can’t see. Suddenly, he cuts both of the ropes and lets your arms free. You rub your wrists and turn to see what he was doing. On your headboard, there is freshly engraved statement: 

Property of D.W. 

“Carve your name into my bedpost.”  

You put on a shirt of his and snuggle into your bed with him. He cuts the lights out, and as you’re drifting off to sleep, you swear you hear him singing Dress by Taylor Swift. 

[panicroomsammy]

Sam Winchester, queer coding, and CSA themes

I’ve been thinking about this for a long time but what finally got me to write it down was this post about Sam and queer coding. For this reason (and that this got ridiculously long) I will not be restating all of the points made in that post, though I do agree with them.

I think the reason so many people refuse to see that Sam is queer coded is that he is queer coded in unpalatable ways, including being csa coded. I am only on season seven, but I am going to try and break down some of the ways that he has been queer coded so far. I must begin by explaining what I mean by queer coding and what coding is in general. When I say the word “queer” I do not necessarily mean “gay” or “bisexual” or any other lgbt label. I mean outside the norm. This is because “queer coding” is not so much about purposefully portraying a character as a certain sexuality, but about othering that character from those around them. Sam is clearly an othered character. We will start, as all things in Supernatural do, with Azazel.

When Azazel makes his deal with Mary that ultimately results in the othering of Sam via his psychic powers, the deals are csa coded in a variety of ways. The most obvious is that he possesses Mary’s father’s corpse to kiss her and make the deal. Hunting families are already incest coded in that it is a secret and something that children raised in it are taught no one outside of their family will understand, and in this case hunting is something Mary is trying very hard to escape. Her love for John (who is also her means of escape) seems to be a love for his “innocence” in the way that he does not know of the supernatural. She tells Dean that what she fears more than anything is her own children being raised into hunting. This is a very typical incestuous family melodrama plot (that I could cite in many academic articles but alas this is a tumblr post). Besides the explicitly incestuous kiss and the familiar plot, there is also the way that Azazel obscures what exactly he is asking for in the deals. When he makes the deal with Mary, he has taken both the familiarity of her family and her route of escape from her. He then offers the escape back to her, in exchange for something. He never tells her what this “something” is. This is a more insidious piece of csa coding. Mary lacks the knowledge necessary to consent to the deal - the same way that a child lacks the knowledge necessary to meaningfully consent to sex. All demon deals in the show are sa coded in that they are extortive and about owning someone and depriving them of autonomy, but in this particular case Mary not knowing what she is consenting to is highlighted. He also phrases is as “permission” (to do what he’s going to do to baby Sam), similar to language of asking for consent and implying that whatever he does that she does not understand she will have allowed so she cannot take issue with it later.

Fast forward ten years. Azazel comes to collect on his deal. Two significant things happen - he feeds baby Sam his blood and he is caught in the act by Mary. Let’s focus first on the latter. Azazel kills Mary because she walked in on him with Sam. The way he talks about this in the show has a stomach turning amount of innuendo to it. Specifically, he says she had to die because “she walked in on us” to Sam. The use of “us” is very clearly supposed to invoke an abuser’s attempt to convince a victim that they did in fact have agency in the situation and were just as active a participant as the abuser, though the audience knows this cannot be the case as Sam was an infant.

When Azazel feeds Sam his blood this is without consent which already gives it a csa implication. The way that he made the deal with Mary in the first place does the same. Then there is the way that Sam feels dirty because of the demon blood in him. “Something that I could not control happened to me as a child and now I feel dirty forever” is glaringly a metaphor for csa. The way that Sam says “so he could bleed in my mouth” made me pause the episode and sit there for a moment because of how much it sounded like a euphemism.

Then Sam becomes addicted to demon blood. The parallels would almost make me laugh if they didn’t make me nauseous. Ruby forces herself on Sam sexually before she starts feeding him her blood, and then later it seems that their routine is feeding Sam the blood and then having sex. This creates an association between demon blood and sex. There is also a more sinister undertone to it if you read with this in mind. Sam’s desire for demon blood invokes, for me at least, queer desire. Unlike what some people on tumblr would like to believe, sexual desire isn’t something that people only start feeling when they turn 18. It isn’t even something that we only start feeling when we reach puberty. Everyone has a human body that is capable of feeling arousal from the moment they are born. This is a simple fact of life, but it is one everyone likes to ignore. With this in mind we can understand the quote “within childhood sexual trauma, the experience of violation may be viewed in the moment as uncontrollably stimulating and overwhelmingly arousing” from this post. When someone experiences violation as a child, they may at the time feel pleasure in it or desire for it to happen again. What I am saying is that his whole life after Azazel fed him his blood maybe Sam, for all his fight against being a freak, deep down felt some kind of desire for something even without knowing quite what. And then Ruby gave it to him. This is an unacceptable desire and therefore coded as queer (sexual) desire. But as it is not just queer desire but one associated with both childhood and non consent, which makes it unpalatable to many people who may otherwise enjoy reading for queerness in subtext, therefore the queerness here is missed.

Sam’s fight against being a freak is also part of his queer coding. Some may see this and take it at face value, but truly what queer person can honestly say they have never tried to fit into heteronormative society? When one is constantly told by society that they are wrong, they will try to change to fit - even if just out of a desire for safety. Sam trying and failing at normality (including the ideal heterosexual romantic relationship which is taken from him with Jess’s death in the first episode) is a glaring example of queer coding.

Yet another aspect of Sam’s sexuality that I believe leads to his queer coding being ignored is that the vast majority of sexual situations we see him in are non consensual and he makes it explicitly clear that he wishes not to be in those situations. The first time we see him in such a situation is the pilot where the woman in white forces herself on him and tells him that he will be unfaithful to Jess. At the time this felt pretty extreme to me for putting in the first episode, even for trying to establish that a character highly values their morality. From there they just don’t stop putting Sam in these situations. The next time this happens is with Meg touching Sam sexually while she has him and Dean tied up with no motivation other than that she wants to. She later possesses him, which is used throughout the show as a sexual assault allegory. The next time I remember something like this happening is Becky groping Sam and refusing to stop when he asks her in season four. Later in season seven she roofies him with love potion and kidnaps him. When Sam and Dean investigate the mental hospital in season five, one of the patients grabs both Dean and Sam and makes out with them at different times. While Dean goes with it and does not resist, Sam tries to push the girl away. While neither of these situations had consent, it is much easier for the audience to swallow Dean’s reaction than Sam’s, as Dean’s reaction plays into the notion that men cannot be sexually assaulted because they should always want to have sex with women, while Sam’s forces one to confront that men are capable of not consenting. In the very next episode a high school boy uses a spell to swap his and Sam’s bodies. While in Sam’s body the boy has sex with a woman. Throughout much of season six I would argue something similar occurs. While I’m a bit fuzzy in the metaphysics of what exactly is happening here, Sam is functionally anywhere from two to three people over the course of the season. Despite the fact that they are all technically Sam, I would argue (as a system myself) that any one person within a system using the body to do things that the others would stop them from doing given the chance is non consent. We also know that soulless!Sam slept around with a lot of people during that year and a half. Again, as a system, I would say that is noncon. There is also the fact that during all of this Sam-in-hell (soul!Sam?) was being tortured and more than implied to be raped by Lucifer. All of this makes Sam and sexuality a much less palatable thing to focus on than Dean and sexuality. (Though Dean has his fair share of sa coding as well he covers it up with jokes that make it easier to ignore. But that’s another post.)

The bottom line is that Sam’s demon blood addiction is coded as queer in that it is a desire that is taboo, but it is a bit too taboo for most fans to enjoy or even acknowledge, leading them to voice outright denial of it, with the unpalatable themes of rape surrounding Sam and sexuality adding to the lack of desire to discuss this aspect of the character.

[destielcorecore]

I'm sure this has been said before but can we talk about how fundamentally profound the Dean and Mary psychic link scene in 12x22 is?? I genuinely feel like they did such a great job at portraying the devastating complexity of childhood trauma. It's in the way Dean tells Mary how he feels about her decision to make the deal with Azazel and how it irrevocably impacted his own childhood, the fact that he didn't get to be a child because he had to be a brother, a father, and a mother to Sam when he was only 4 years old, acknowledging the fact that it wasn't fair to him because he couldn't be everything (he was only a child), that he hates her, he hates her, he hates her, but he also loves her, because she's his mom and he can't help it, and he understands her decision was made out of love, and he forgives her, he forgives her for all of it.

That shit is so damn powerful beyond words, it's heartbreaking and bittersweet and truly captures how fucking complicated the mother wound is. And it's incredibly emotionally mature on Dean's part to recognize the nuances of his experiences and his feelings about his experiences, and to be able to articulate them like that. It's so fucking hard to forgive something like that or even try to come to peace with it. And it's even harder to offer reconciliation with a parent whose hurt runs that deep. And then for Dean to ask Mary to look at him, really look at him, and see him for who he is as a result of not only her choices but also his own choices and who he's made himself into... oh man. I'm going to cry again

[what-if-i-just-did]

Happy Mary Winchester Memorial Day!

As ya'll might know, today is the day Mary Winchester died (the first time). So, in honor/celebration/memory/whatever, have a Mary Winchester moodboard:

[restlesshush]

Reflections

It doesn’t seem to chafe for Kelly at all. Mary watches her, sits with her, as the pain drags on and on, for an end goal Kelly will never get to see. And as far as Mary can see, it doesn’t even occur to her to mind.

1082 words on ao3. Second of my pieces of @spntoxicfemslashevent day 28, this time for the prompts “family” and “character study”. Mary being there while Kelly sacrifices herself giving birth is actually kind of crazy when you think about it, so here's an exploration of that. Sometimes it's easier to die for your children than to live for them.

[ananke-xiii]

I'm 100% convinced that Mary left that bunker because it reeked. "I need time and... space" was a formal way to say that the place kinda sucked. She was way too nice about that and they didn't take the hint. I think she should have told it like it was.

Dusty, no fresh-air, no sunlight, probably mouldy underground military hospital/ sad gentlemen's club closed off for decades and exclusively inhabited by lonely, repressed men and their solitary hormonal needs and general locker-room-level of BO.

Yeah, if I were back from the dead you couldn't pay me to live there, my coffin would literally smell better. No thank you. Let my girl enjoy open, fresh air and feel warm sunlight on her alive-again skin. And nice perfumes and fragrant scents.

[mrcowboydeanwinchester]

jesus christ dean stops god and gets free will and instantly kills himself. and then goes and finds his mother. and gives her free will. and asks her to live

[certifiedwerewolf]

I dunno man I just feel like if you're writing Dean as being a good dad to Jack but writing John like he just spent all his time drop-kicking his kids who hate him for it then maybe you are. Mmm. I don't wanna say doing it wrong because that's not what I'm going for but like. I'm just saying there are parallels. That's all I'm saying. And if John isn't worthy of a pass then neither is Dean.

[quietwingsinthesky]

(Ignores the evil parts of the later seasons) guys dean was so happy living in the bunker with his family that’s all he wanted