#mark of eld

[woollyrhinocrafts]

Yowza! I'm sort of glad that I borked my blog formatting when I changed the layout because I'm realizing that there's so much stuff my goldfish brain forgot to share! I AM UPDATING ALL THE THINGS!

[dreadbornesaint]

Character & verses (2/2)

[richardtheteacher]

5 Top Tips for Marking Work by Hand

Richard James Rogers, award-winning author and educator, describes five essential ways in which teachers can become more efficient at marking/grading student work by hand.

An article by Richard James Rogers (Award-Winning Author of The Quick Guide to Classroom Management and The Power of Praise: Empowering Students Through Positive Feedback). This blog post has been beautifully illustrated by Pop Sutthiya Lertyongphati. Accompanying podcast episode: Whether it’s high-stakes assessments, end-of-unit tests, coursework, homework or classwork, it’s inevitable that…

[leviismybby]

I just know that Levi would be the type of boyfriend to use either your boobs or ass as a pillow. He would lay his head down on your breasts and fall asleep in minutes, you're more comfortable to him than any pillow. When you're laying on your stomach, he would wrap his hands around your thighs and lay his head down on your ass. Your thighs don't escape him either, he would lay on them too. Sometimes he would playfully bite into your plush skin to leave a mark behind.

His neck can hurt because of it sometimes, people would notice that he is trying to ease some tension from his muscles. "You alright, captain? Didn't sleep well?" Eld asks Levi as he sees him rubbing the side of his neck. "I slept more than fine," Levi says remembering the plushness of your breasts, he can't wait to do it again later tonight.

[darkdemeter]

Strife x Fem reader nsfw! Eld AU, S/O is a talented hunter, using her sniper skills to hunt down food and enemies. It’s not long until the Nephilim tribe heard of a master sniper taking down foes and always running without a trace. It’s by sheer luck that Strife discovers S/O and easily takes her down once he’s in close range. Instead of killing her, he wants to take her as his mate, seeing how cool she looks when sniping and how impressive she is.

VENGEANCE IS A HUNTER

◤✘DARKSIDERS REQUESTS | CATALOGUE Pre-Horsemen!Strife x Eld'hyunen!Female Reader

NOTES ↳ Who's ready for some pre-horseman! Strife in his younger, Nephilim prime? Hey! I see you ogling. Here, have a golden sticker. Welcome to the Strife simp club 😂 WARNINGS❕ ↳ Mature rating, 18+ — some profanity — mention of mass murder — depiction of violence and killing — lore building — SMUT mdni — unprotected sex — implied non/con or dubious consent — neck biting/marking — mate claiming, virginity loss (hymen breakage) — I think that’s it?

✎ 4.4k ────────────────────────

The moon had been bright and full, a milky pour that couldn’t penetrate the dense forest beneath. Only allowed through were the silky, pale silhouettes that danced and warped disturbingly, the covering fog lit with an eerie glow. 

Stalking the grounds below, invading this coveted land, the horde of Nephilim march through, some bearing torches that burn viciously and provide an aura to follow. A target. 

“Keep up,” barks the group’s leader with hastened gruffness, “we must rejoin the warband before next moondown! Else Absalom will have our heads.” His tone betrays his unease as they walk through this unholy place. The trees feel dead yet they flourish and thrive, the air is thick and makes it hard to see further ahead with the swarming mist. His glowing eyes dart from left to right, sweeping from ground level to the higher treeline.

Something stalks them in the darkness around them. 

The ground crunches loud beneath the stampeding rhythm of their feet. Each one a resounding crack and bending snap. To the elicited horror that disturbs them, their eyes are cast wide and teeth gnashing hard with growls and started yells. 

Empty pits of blackened sockets stare up at them, spinal cords numbered by hundreds are split and shattered, ribs cracked and broken, barren of any flesh to cling to the remnant bones littering the forest floor. 

A once enchanting home now turned into a mass graveyard that welcomes only the fall of their invaders. The disembodied whispers and howls on the wind are avenged with each splatter of blood that waters the ground, the haunt of the Nephilims’ screams replace the restless and slaughtered people. 

It is their turn to become the prey. It is their turn to become the hunted, the bloodied spoils of this war. 

An arrow whines on the pulled draw of your bow, your lungs ease a silent and practised breath… and you release. 

Fated, your arrow hits its mark without falter. The laggers behind stumble and scatter, some dropping their torches to blend in with the darkness. But the bright shine of your eyes allows you insightful vision, they cannot hide in the same veil of your home; not as you can. Adept in the arts of survival and camouflage, this is your hunting ground. Your prison that you ward and it shall be their final resting place. 

“Ambush!” one roars and they prime their weapons. Massive blades and sharpened polearms, the Nephilim band scours what terrain they dare try, wary to go further beyond the forgotten trail. 

Your arrows fly in fast repetition. Your prey cannot comprehend the direction of the attack, unable to detect what is simply not there. You traverse with swift agility, comfortable to leap, climb and fall from the many interloping branches and rocky formations. Their numbers are tamed until only the leader remains. He sheathes his axe, the gamble of his odds not in his favour. 

His brothers and sisters lay dead with an embedded garden of arrows, the dim halo of the perving moon shines on the brightened hue of red, feathered sails. A warning that stakes your claim over this territory. 

It’s a claim he will not challenge. He turns hard on his heavy heels and sprints, madly dashing through the underbrush and you give chase from above. His breath is hitched deep as the whizz of your arrows pounce at his heel like a hound that gnashes the ankles of the galloping hunted.

Your mark gets closer to him with each venomous strike. He knows you toy with him, that you inflict this terror with purpose. 

His runs and crashes through low hanging branches that claw tiny scratches into his skin, usually barely feeling but with you on the hunt, each one feels like the tipped poise of your next shot. 

His foot is snagged by a tree’s lifted root and sends him barrelling forward into a cloud of dirt. He growls and sputters, saliva spills in thick streams down his chin, his chest heaving with a wild beat of his heart. Nephilim aren’t meant to fear anything, no demon or angel, nothing in the cosmos possesses enough of a threat to invoke such fear. 

So why did you? 

His ears suddenly go dumb, a whirring sound that rings sharply in his hearing as he listens to your weight dropping to the forest floor behind him. He turns his head, huffing and puffing his last rites. His eyes grow wide. Your reflection moves upon the surface of his golden orbs that tremble, your face shrouded in the blackness of your cowl. The overgrowth of a cloak hangs over your shoulders and down low to your feet, tied to your wrists and ankles with corded thread; a haunting sight inspired by the ghost stories of your own people that became intertwined with your once traditions. Your eyes beam something ferocious, a predatory glare, down on him. 

He flinches as you hover above, his burly fist raised to either lash out at you or plead for you to take his hand in mercy. His voice shortly whines, a hiccup of a sound he chokes on as you pace yourself. You want to enjoy this kill. Leisurely, you knock the final arrow from your quiver and pull back. 

“Don’t! Sp-spare me!”

“She is a feral Eld’hyunen hunter, cast out by her own clan before we came to this realm. A wraith of vengeance that rose from the dead with eyes tempered with fire from Hell’s oasis.”

The younger Nephilim gathered around lean in closer, faces etched and lined with their entertainment in the orange light of the fire. Strife sits more so off to the side, though intrigued by the mythical tales, he tries to center his focus on his weapons instead. Yet the golden flicker of his eyes dance this way and that every now and then. 

“I barely escaped with my own life, her arrow pointed right to my eye.” 

The storyteller had arrived at the warband’s gate only a night ago, the burden of his torment still fresh in his mind. His voice quivers with each recollected detail he tells. He’d the look of one who’d seen a ghost. Out of the troops that were to arrive back he had been the only one. Those posted at the gate had to pull his shaking body inside, his muscles rippled so much that Absalom thought his flesh would begin to peel and fall apart as the commander panted and heaved his retelling of what happened.

Now here he was, still shaken as he had been and filling the younger generations of their legion with mythical tellings. Folklore to haunt their slumberless dreams and instill in them a false sense of fear. 

“And then… she whispered to me with words scarred by her ire…”

“Tell them to leave,” you snarl, voice coiling in the back of your throat as a venomous growl. “Leave this world and never set your claim upon it again. Or else my vengeance shall devour you whole.”

“As if one Eld’hyunen could do such a thing,” snickers Strife under his breath. The Nephilim survivor scrunches his face, overhearing such demeaning ignorance.

“You watch that tone of yours. What I say is true and you’d be damn near lucky to even escape as I had.”

Strife lulls his head, shoulders falling lax with uncharismatic care. He blinks twice, finger playing against the trigger of one of his guns.

“She would have been better off killing you instead.”

“Is that a threat, Nephiling?—”

A nerve is struck at the belittling term and Strife’s body tenses as she slightly shifts his weight to stand at his full height. His eyes dangerously thin with a warning glare. 

The younger ones around the fire watch in silence, their faces agape in their startled awe of the two. It wasn’t uncommon for Nephilim to get into heated scraps with one another. Their tempers easy to flare, provoking the other to break first. 

But with a thunderous roll of feet approaching, both are torn from the inciting conflict that threatened to break out into a brawl. Absalom growls out with a warning tone, “Telling the young ones of your scrape with death again, Saak?” 

Saak snorts, lips pulled askew before spitting a glop onto the ground. “I’m warning them of what awaits outside those gates. You haven’t see her, Absalom, she is—”

“Not yet, I haven’t. But that will change. At dawn we move out on the forest.” Absalom ignores the pale complexion of Saak, even as he buckles, weight lost to fall to his knees with a heavy thmph. His meek argument silenced. “I will not have this conquest stamped out by a lone female who believes she can take on a legion by herself.” The eldest of their kind laughs, boisterous. “It’s madness!”

Saak shakes his head and Absalom scoffs, large fingers scruffing the Nephilim’s neck as if he were a measly pup in need of discipline. “Cower in the camp, then. I will not accept cowards during this territory skirmish. I need only my finest.”

Releasing Saak and turning his eyes from the Nephilings who watch, eyes wide at the behemoth that is the first of their race, he chuffs a cold noise and rolls his eyes to Strife.

“And you’ll be joining us.”

Strife shrugs with a complying nod as he holsters his guns to his hips. 

“Very well,” Strife hums, obviously making his tone chipper to flaunt as a mockery. This would be one of the very few times he would be joining a troop assault so large, oftentimes he would either be appointed with a smaller group or better yet, strike out on his own.

But not this time. And perhaps he would catch a glimpse of the mysterious ghost that has the entire camp in a throng of rumour; that of the vengeful hunter. Beginning to walk away from the campfire, he hears Saak’s voice wheeze out with a hoarse rasp and his steps slow slightly. 

“You’ll see her yourself… and when you do… it’ll be too late.”

The swallow of the cave is clouded, smothered by wisps of smoke that come from the many lit flames around. Laments, shrines dedicated to the burials of your tribe. You can almost catch their spirits weave and dash through the twisting haze around you, as if to dance like they did around the fires, nights filled with laughter and conversation. Of bonds made newly and ones grown fonder. 

You hum a tune solemn in your grief. A proud song of your people that used to uplift and give praise to the forest’s divine sanctity, a home respected and loved. But now it is a melody that serves as a hollow reminder of all that you have lost. The songs of your people sung in the night to be carried on the wind with your weeping cries; shrieks that even the most fearsome of wraiths and beasts would grimace with sympathy for. 

The palette of your face had been cleaned of its prior mask that covered the higher portion of your face, marking the veil of your painted vow. The darkened smudge would never be cleaned off your hands completely, nor your face that streaks it into watered lines down your cheeks. Not until your enemies were undone. 

When this war was over and the invaders obeyed your command and left or were slain.

You sit before the burning incense of your tribe mother — your birth mother — and listen to the call of the warhorn. It thrums to life, bringing with it its ominous roar and its final deliverance. They would not leave and thus, you would make due on your promise. 

Bow and arrows balanced in your lap, you ask that your people imbue you with their strength. To help you overpower your foes and finally bring their souls to rest in the ethereal realm. The White Cosm. A place so beautiful and tranquil, spoken to be at its closest with the Creator’s heart. 

Your hands move forward towards the wooden bowl sat at the bottom of the shrine. You smear the dark ashes onto your face, its charred skin caresses yours and your brows furrow deeply between. You will show them what it means to provoke that wrath of the Eld’hyunen. 

They will come to know that vengeance is a hunter; and it has marked them all for death. 

The dawning fares no better in trying to puncture through the overgrowth above. The leaves and treeline are too heavy in concealing the ground level. A faded sheen of bathing sunlight comes through, a gloomy hue of yellow and vibrancy of greens all shrouded by the morning fog. 

Just as he said, Absalom leads his band of brothers and sisters into the forest’s barriers. They arrive in large numbers you have seen come through here but only once: when they butchered your tribe and raided your homes. 

You watch them from above. Steadily you move, the hooded cloak on your back tethered to your limbs, allowing you to glide silently from branch to branch with your prey none the wiser. 

As much as it angers you, you have always obeyed your masters when they taught you that to succeed in the hunt, you must be well versed in patience. You have to lie in wait for the perfect opportunity to present itself and you have your sights set on Absalom being your first target. 

Though powerfully formidable, he will be guarded closely by his most elite siblings, the first-bloods. Trying to get him alone will be nothing short of impossible, but you must allow yourself to wait for that single moment and when it's there, you will strike him down. 

Strife had veered off and away from the group not too far into the breach of the forest. He was always better off moving by himself, he attracted less attention that way. Most of his brethren lacked the level of subtlety to remain hidden like he did. He uses the higher peaks to his advantage, climbing higher and higher where no other of his brothers and sisters dared to. 

They climb mountains for sport but trees and forest terrain are where they draw the line? Strife finds it somewhat amusing and he chuckles to himself while shaking his head. He balances dangerously in the higher space of the canopy, intruding upon another world entirely it feels. He takes a moment to observe his surroundings and there — it’s barely noticeable with the foggy glare that bleeds together — but something crossed his vision. A shadow. 

His eyes squint, the sight of his visor aimed accurately to see what it was that fluttered through the treeline and down onto a nest of branches. 

You perch yourself onto the next entanglement of limbs, cloak settling once it loses its gusto of breath that carried you. Your belly is pressed against the mossy thicket, the sensation soft and ticklish against your naked skin. Your chin just grazes the oaken surface as you peer downward, watchful of the Nephilim who stalk the ground slowly, methodical and wary. 

Your eyes grow wide and a near sadistic grin twists across your lips, fangs glinting with poised delight that clench together. You see it! Your moment to disband their ranks, to flush them into a frenzy of fear as their leader becomes another pile of bones to add to your imprisoning graveyard. 

You rise slightly, back arched to sit up and you align your arrow onto your bow and draw. You calm your breathing despite the rapid climb of your excitement. Finally, this quest will be seen through, you can live out your lonely days in peace until you reunite with your loved ones. You do this or you die trying. 

Absalom has his back turned to you but if you aim just right, if you wait… the art of patience is key yet you find it hard to steady yourself, eager to release. You must wait. The window of that moment is happening upon you and so you draw that last final bit. 

You release your breath, rushing it from your lungs. The murky light from behind you is smothered out and you freeze. Face shrouded by the overlap of your hood and ashy paint becomes contorted in your frowning confusion. Your aim lowers, unfocused as you come to realise you sit beneath a shadow. A tall, looming shadow. 

Your cowl shifts in tandem with the motion of your head turning and tilting upwards. Your eyes widen and your jaw falls, bottom lip quivering with a shuddering gasp. After all this time, you believed yourself numbed of the feeling of fear, of bone-shaking terror that has the chasm of your chest diving with your heartbeat. You thought yourself hollow to that feeling you had all that time ago when you first witnessed the slaughter, the carnage and the screams that echoed.

Had you been so consumed in your fire of vengeance that you neglected your surroundings, you didn’t heed to the teachings of your masters? To always be aware, always be intune with your senses. Never allow your arrow to be knocked blind; in which you did. 

That feeling resurfaces again and now you have become the prey for it. 

What few seconds pass feels like an eternity that drags on. You move swiftly but sloppily, your draw and aim not on target as you fire your knocked arrow only for him to deflect it with the iron plating of his gauntlet. The arrow snaps in two under such force and he lunges at you, pinning you. You hiss sharply and your hands claw at him, your sharp nails scratch and rip at whatever you can to fight him off. The struggle turns you both off the branch and you go crashing to the forest floor, whenever you attempt to pry him away and fill your cloak with wind, he stops you by wrapping his arms around you; caging you. 

Each pained yelp you make echoes louder through the canopy in your rapid descent. The troops below peer upwards at the commotion until it lands on ground. They rush towards it as they watch, awestruck that the hunter that stalked them is no more. Instead, Strife’s knees trap you between him and the forest floor, his hands easily captured around each of your wrists, keeping you from escaping. 

His throaty chuckles grow into a small fit of laughter, grinning a fanged grin behind his mask. “I got her!” he chants, a hollering of cheerful howls and spirited yells applaud him in his apprehension. 

The coarse patch of dirt rubs against your stomach in your continued writhing, only to feel the force of his weight push you further against the ground and you whine, seething like a feral animal at him. 

“Let go of me! Let— go!”

Moving aside to make room for Absalom’s arrival, he gives a gruff hum, mouth pulling into a grin. 

“Well done, Strife,” he rumbles, planting the pommel of his axe into the ground. His elbow probs up to rest against its higher end. “I knew it was a matter of time before these rumours would be snuffed out. A vengeful wraith, unkillable and unseen.” Snickering, Absalom lowers himself to you and his large fingers snatch hold of your face. 

You bare your fangs at him with a snarl but he only chuckles in turn, not an ounce of fear etched in his eyes that you can see. 

“She was about to kill you.”

“Was she now?” asks Absalom, his voice inflecting with peaked interest before turning to leave. 

“It’d be a waste to kill her.” Strife hums thoughtfully before his own hand catches your jaw, pinching your cheeks and lowering his helmed face next to yours. 

“How about it, Absalom? Can I keep this one?”

Absalom shrugs his shoulders with a dismissive hum. “Do what you will with her. Fuck her, kill her, it matters little to me.”

Such news never sounded like music to his ears until now. He’d seen quite a few of his brethren take Eld’hyunen survivors as prisoners to provide them lustful satisfaction alongside their bloodthirst. He’d wondered himself once or twice… 

His hips push forward to rest in the curve of your lower back and you gasp. His grip ahold of you tightens when you make to shuffle out from under him.

“You hear that, little hunter?” he taunts with a husky chuckle, “you’re all mine.”

High upon an overlooking cliffside, you’re able to see the march of the Nephilim return to their camp, their numbers swarming back inside its walls and rejoining those who had remained behind. Many more were still to come, you were sure of it, it was only a matter of time. 

Strife had brought you up here, somewhere reclusive for his claiming. Tomorrow he would return with you to show you off to his brethren, to rub it into Saak’s face that his threats meant nothing and that he now had you, the vengeful hunter, to satiate his pent up aggressions and lustful drive. 

You’re clawing into the dirt with each thrust that brushes that spot deep inside of you. Each forceful drive of his widely built hips shoves the hastily collected air from your lungs in exerted pants, your whines and pitiful cries are swallowed up into the night’s breeze, the harshened clap of skin against skin makes your body ache and each stroke of his cock invading your silky, warm walls has you clenching around him. 

Strife groans with every motion of bucking his hips, speeding up and arching his body a bit more so that his hands can drag you further back onto his length, almost splitting you open. It sounds messy but your skin is riddled with a hot flush that covers you entirely, your screams turned into whiny moans and your voice shredded raw into a terrible, wordless dialect. 

“You’re so tight, little mate,” he grunts between a few hard thrusts that pull a string of mewls from you. You grip him like a vice, coating him in the slick of your arousal you tried so hard to deny him; deny both of you. 

He could smell you through the dampened fabric of your loincloth, the need buried between your thighs. 

His grip is bruising, it hurts the way he holds you and ruthlessly fucks into you like an animal in heat. Your walls continue to squeeze around him tightly, your breathing becoming shorter before it turns into high pitched gasps. His cock pistons in and out, sensing the rise of your release and he chases it with reckless abandon, wanting to finally feel the sensational pleasure he’s heard so much about but has never gotten to experience himself. 

His mask had been stripped off with the rest of his armor, his breath beating against the back of your neck in hot gushes that sweep over you like the hot summer winds. You can identify the ghostly presence of his bared teeth kissing your flesh, longing to marr the precious bed where your neck and shoulder meet. 

He whines lowly into your ear as you cry out with a moan that chokes you, your nails scratching deeper indents into the dirt with ragged markings as you cum. Your watery eyes blurry, tears muse and smear the ashy paint down your cheeks. He howls, ravenous and huffing like a satisfied beast when your snug walls clamp around him, barely able to withdraw himself from you without hearing those pained yelps you make. 

But he’s not done with you. He continues to brutally fuck your cunt that is forced to take very inch of him, leaving none of him to be left unsheathed. His fangs graze along the crook of your neck and the muscles there twitch, your eyes widening and your voice gone. 

Your body is ragged, used and abused under his power that has you submitted to him as his mate. Your breeding rights forfeit, the once virginal seal gone and claimed the moment he sunk himself deep inside of you. 

He’ll never forget the long, drawn out sigh you made when he did. He’ll forever savour the scream that tore out from your throat as he broke through your hymen. 

He was not a gentle lover. He was fast and unspeakably ruthless, possessively aggressive by the way he growled, inhaling the sweet aroma of your hair or tasting the scent of your skin on his tongue. 

He groans again, louder and his teeth snap shut. You scream again under the strain of your muscle that spasms from his bite, you feel the wet trickle of blood flowing down your collarbone and breast, revealed after he had torn your cloak and chest wrapping away. 

You cannot help but moan softly when his cock buries itself deeper inside, painting your insides with his seed that comes in thick, warm spurts. 

He continues to drill his spent inside of you until it forms a heavy bulge that fills your lower abdomen and a slickened ring around the base of his cock and drool from your swollen, abused pussy. However, the moment you begin to pull from him, having to ignore the sore spot he’s made your pussy to be, one of his hands seizes hold of the tendril of your smooth tail, caressing it with a firm, palming grip that yanks you back and spears you down on his cock again. 

“I’m not done with you yet, mate,” he huskily drawls. 

His mouth lingers against the cringing curl of your ear, and from the corner of your eye, the pain in your neck making it impossible to turn and look, you catch the crimson line that runs from the corner of his smirking lips. 

His chest and stomach slide into the curved bevel of your spine, fitting against you perfectly so much so that this match had to be a cursed union. For the women of your tribe long since believed that those meant to be mated could easily line their front to their partner’s spine to come into alignment perfectly. Meant to be fitted. You don’t want to believe it, but it becomes harder to deny his prowess as he begins to roll his hips up against the risen curve of your arse again.

Your desire for vengeance is a fire that begins to wane, ebbing into the fade of your new reality as a Nephilim’s mate.

[sugurusdiscordmoderator]

Captain Levi One Shot

A/N : Takes place like 10 years before the AOT universe, please don’t fact check my shit I know some of it doesn’t line up with cannon lmao. In this Petra is not yet a part of squad Levi.

I’m thinking about doing a series of one shots for this version of Levi x reader but would love some feedback!

26f reader x 29m captain Levi

content warning: alcohol , hangover vomiting (so sorry), blood, minor injuries, masturbation (both f and m)

—

You had worked so damn hard. You had worked so hard for almost 10 years to get where you are.

Graduating as a part of the 95th corps of cadets, (#3 in your class none the less), you took on the challenge joining the scouts. You took on the challenge of knowing your best friends, your adopted family, would die. You could’ve had a cushy life as an MP and never lay an eye on a titan but no, you just had to be brave.

10 years is a long time to last as a scout. Only a few have lasted longer and you’re wondering when it’ll be your turn. You’re nearly 26 at this point, are you going to have to slow down?

Your superiors decided to throw you a party for hitting the 10 year mark. A get together at a pub in town that closed for an evening to be private for all scouts and military that wanted to come. The ones left of your cadet class came, plus most of the scouts since you were a friendly face and a great mentor.

Hange and Petra were two of your closest friends, they made you a cake! Everyone else was buying you drinks and having a great time. You made your rounds to thank everyone for coming and say hi.

You go up to the table in the corner last, being the most intimidating of the group. Captain Erwin, and a few from his troop were seated including Miche, Gunther, Tomas, Eld, and Dieter. Oh, and the dark storm cloud in the corner, Levi. Captain Levi.

Something about that man, you can’t tell if it pissed you off or if you were attracted to his stormy look. He has only been in the scouts for a few years but, he has far surpassed everyone to earn the title of Captain and earn the special operations squad. He didn’t have a ton of respect as a leader, considering his past which always came about in hushed whispers and stolen glances.

“Ah Miss L/N!” Erwin booms as he watches you approach the table “the celebrity of the evening has graced us with her presence!” Yeah, he’s definitely had a few drinks. You give most of the table a hug before Erwin booms “Excuse me,,, Excuse Me! Yeah I’d like to make a toast to celebrate one amazing scout, y/n l/n”

He turns you around to face everyone in the pub and you catch Levi’s eye for a second, letting a soft smile show. Your drinks and shots everyone had been buying you are catching up and you catch yourself blushing at Levi’s lingering eyes on you. If only you knew why.

As Erwin goes on a great toast speech about how much you’ve grown in 10 years, how great you are, etc. you can’t help but feel immense pride, something you’re not used to as a rather insecure person. Then your attention gets roped back in as Erwin places his hands on your shoulders give you a little shake like a proud dad.

“So to finish my toast, I want to congratulate miss l/n on becoming the newest member of the special operations squad under captain Levi.”

Your jaw drops as the pub errupts in loud cheers turning around to give Erwin a huge hug, since he is the highest rank here commander shadis must have trusted him with this information.

The raven haired stoic man stands up from his seat and comes closer to you and gives you a crisp salute which you mirror back. Probably not as crisp with the way you feel a little wavy. He then sticks his hand out for a handshake as you grab ahold he speaks, “welcome to the team kid.”

You smile at him “Thank you sir! The pleasure is mine!” He’s going to teach you to be less formal with him eventually but appreciates your response for the time being.

You are both surprised at your impulsive decision of deciding to wrap your arms around his neck, giving him an enthusiastic hug. You swear you feel his chest let out a chuckle but hear him grunt, “tch, get off”. You pull away ready to apologize but see a little smirk on his face as he sits back down. All of Erwin’s table saw the encounter and chose to avoid eye contact. As you giddy-ly ran over to Hange and Petra to celebrate.

The rest of the night consisted of singing, dancing, drink-offs with some of the men, and if you weren’t crazy you could’ve sworn Levi was keeping a close eye on you.

Once closing time hits you and some of the scouts you were close with stumbled back to your base. Levi, Erwin, and Miche suspiciously decided to leave just as you were. Following not too closely behind you.

—

As you get back to your room and ready for bed you stumble a little as you put on your pajamas of a tshirt, no bra, and booty shorts. You’re humming to yourself as you put the uniform from today aside to wash and about to crawl in your bed that looks soooo comfy when

*knock knock knock* gently taps on your door

Assuming it is Petra or Hange drunk you giggle walking up to the door. You swing open the old wood, creaking to your surprise is your new captain.

“Soldier. Sorry for stopping uh unannounced. I wanted to give you this since you looked like you had fun tonight. Integration starts tomorrow at 8 AM.”

You form a salute, right hand over your breast as your dainty nipples show through your white tshirt. He pretends not to notice, suppressing the urge to look at your body he has never seen outside of uniform.

“Thank you captain. I hope you sleep well. Goodnight,” your voice sounds like silk although raspy from singing and yelling all night. Nobody has ever wished him a good nights sleep and he is a little dumbfounded. “Goodnight l/n” he whispers as you gently shut the door on him.

He brought you fruit and some water in a nice basket, surely that will help with your hangover that you’ll have to figure out by 8 am. You think of all the things people whisper about Captain Levi, how he’s a heartless monster, incapable of feelings, barely human. You can’t believe them and decide to put your utmost respect into your captain, wondering how he put together something special like this in such a short notice.

—

The next morning you are awake at the break of daylight, about 7 am. This gives you an hour to get cleaned up eat and get to the training grounds, but god do you feel like shit. As you’re about to get in the shower you feel your stomach bubbling and make it just in time to the bucket to throw up. Well throwing up sucks, but at least you feel a tiny bit better. You get a rather quick shower and throw your hair into a low bun with some pieces sticking out and put on your uniform. Eating an apple and drinking water that Levi brought you in the early hours of the morning. You decide ultimately that this is your fault for drinking too much, and hope since it is the first day of integration Levi would take it easy on you.

Oh, how you were so wrong.

“L/n, you look like shit.” Your captain spits harshly.

“My apologies captain.” You say not looking him directly in the eyes with your hand over chest in salute.

“10 laps around the field to get started.” Oh god you have to run while hungover, but you can’t tell him no. Maybe this is some type of test to him? He knows how much you drank last night because he was keeping a watchful eye on his new team member. You begin running as Miche and Levi chat, quietly enough you can’t hear them over the pounding in your head.

Just as you hit the sixth lap you feel a bubbling in your tummy again. Oh no, not in front of him. Before you can even try to hide it, you’re doubled over throwing up the rest of the contents in your stomach.

And then, silence. No Miche and Levi chatting, no background noise from the base, just silence. This has to be a test. He wants to see if you’ll keep going or give up on the very first exercise. You use the backside of your jacket sleeve to wipe your face and begin the 6th lap. You’re half done, just push through.

As someone who typically doesn’t struggle too much with running you are shocked at your inability to hold yourself to a high standard this morning. You nearly collapsed as you finished the 10th lap. Bent over with your hands on your knees you wait for Captain Levi to address you.

“Next you’ll be timed on your ODM gear maneuvering through the dummies.” Your face goes pale at the thought of flying through the air right now, but you don’t have a choice. “Yes sir” you respond breathlessly standing up fully again.

You don’t notice the goosebumps that appear on Levi’s skin when you call him Sir or Captain, and he tries to ignore them. Watching as you strap on your ODM gear as you struggle with a particular thigh strap, he sulks over, looking down at your gear. Your big eyes look back up at him, still fumbling your fingers at the same time.

“Here,” he takes over where your hands were, grasping the leather straps tightly and fastening it together so that it squeezes your nice thighs just enough.

“You look like shit,” he says lowly, finally making eye contact with you.

“I’m so sorry sir, is there something wrong with my uniform? How can I fix it?” You ask like a good subordinate.

“Don’t drink the night before training.” He says turning around not looking at you anymore.

You scoff in disbelief at his words, and he waits for your next move.

“My apologies again Captain, but I was not aware of my promotion until last night and not aware of this training until I was already home from the pub. I think it’s rather unfair to-” you’re cut off by the lightning quick movements of the captain who is now gripping your collar of your uniform jacket, almost lifting you off your seat.

“Rule number one - don’t talk back to me” he growls inches from your face.

“Rule number two - always be prepared as a part of squad Levi. We are the special operations squad for a reason, we could leave at a moments notice.”

“Rule number three - you must always look and act your best for training.”

All the while he spoke down to you staring into your eyes. You didn’t dare looking away from the steel gray eyes boring into yours. “Yes sir” you squeak out. He drops your shirt collar, brushing off the wrinkles he just created. And your ass collided back down with the bench you were sitting on. He begins to walk away with a “I’ll be waiting” as he heads towards the wooded area of the training grounds.

You’re trying to wrap your head around what just happened and how your superior talked to you like that when most of this was out of your control completely.

It was then you realized this morning was all one big test. To see how much you needed to be broken down in order for him to build you back up and form you into one of his soldiers.

But you didn’t ask for this promotion, you didn’t receive a warning, you didn’t even get to say bye to your old squad leader.

You try your best to hold your head high, cleaning your blades as you walk in the directly Levi walked a minute ago. Trying to push down all of the demons punishing you for your actions from last night. Mentally you need to get with it if you’re going to prove yourself to Levi this morning that you’re fit to be a part of his squad. You don’t think he’s ever watched you before, at least not in battle, per your knowledge. The last thing you need is him thinking you are a weak link in his group.

You finally approach him at the beginning of the course, trying to maintain cool headedness and confidence. After all you’ve done this course thousands of times over 10 years in the scouts. I mean, they change it sometimes but not by a whole lot.

Not even looking over at you Captain Levi says “I’ll start the stopwatch when you start going. Miche is on the other side to signal a flare once you make it to the end.”

You nod to your self, stretching your back and neck a little before you go. You bound off the ground propelling with as much speed as you can. Your technique is a little different from most, whereas you don’t necessarily have as much speed as you do strength. Your cuts are so deep and clean on the nape of the titan that you are sure fire a kill if you can just get there. You move easily from side to side due to your core strength and kind of look like a mix of a ballerina and a ninja on your good days. Your technique is just weird enough they don’t let you help teach the new recruits.

Flying, adjusting to the new dummies that pop up, it actually feels pretty nice and comforting to help your hangover. You finish the course with ease but your ODM gear fails to hook on one side as you hit the last row of trees. You’re thrown off balance and end up hitting the tree Miche was leaning on with a thud. Luckily, as soon as you made contact Miche shot the flare so you would get a better time, but you lay on the ground groaning. A little blood dripping out of your eyebrow and nose, and cuts on the arms of your uniform.

Levi had already begun swinging to where the ending point was but began speeding up after he ended the timer. He landed on his feet so elegantly and precise, making Miche laugh. Neither of the men helped you up for a minute as you laid there with your hand over your face, red from embarrassment but reminding you that you may throw up again or pass out at any moment.

“3 minutes 9 seconds. Not bad for…your current condition” he says leaning down to look at your face. “You’ll be doing this again when you’re through with your hangover, and I expect it to be spotless. With a much better landing.”

“Yes captain,” you groan. Not being able to hold yourself together much at this point. He grabs a cloth out of his pocket and hands it to you. You do your best to clean the eyebrow and whatever nose wound you have, it may very well be broken.

“Up next is hand to hand combat. Since you are already torn up, I’ll let you chose who you fight against rather than myself, but it has to be someone from the squad.”

The rest of the team was finishing up breakfast walking out to the grounds that hand to hand combat training usually takes place. You were supposed to meet the team and then get your ass handed to you by Levi, but I guess he’s feeling nice watching you try to twist your nose back to its original place. As you finally stand up off the hard ground you stumble a few steps before bending over to throw up one last time. Levi happened to catch you off balance and patted your back while you dry heaved a little.

Levi, the clean freak, comforting you? After you just fucked up your integration training? You brush it off and size up your potential opponents as you want over. You then realize, you’re the first woman to be a part of squad Levi . Is that why the captain is making you do all this? A sexist power move to make you feel inferior to the rest?

The squad is chatting as the three of you walk up to them and fall silent, all eyes on you. Levi brushes past you “everyone this is y/n l/n, she will be joining the special operations squad effective immediately. Right now she is sizing all of you up to see who she can handle in hand to hand combat.” You do your best to remain confident and not shy away as all the well accomplished men look over to you.

“Captain Levi” you pipe up with less courage than you thought you had.

“Yes?” He raises an eyebrow at you.

“I want to go against you, Captain.”

The whole crowd of men goes silent, they think you have a death wish or maybe you already hit your head too hard given the dried blood already on your face.

“Fair enough l/n, I’ll give you a few minutes to get ready.” He takes off his uniform cape and jacket and set it neatly down next to where all the men are standing. You are busy unstrapping your ODM gear, moving to the side so you can set it down gently. You sign when you take all of it off, feeling 15 pounds lighter. You following Levi’s suit, you take off your uniform jacket as well.

This leaves both of you in your white button up shirts. You size Levi up and down, trying to determine when his weak spots are. You see the way his biceps move under the tight shirt as he undoes his cravat. The men of squad Levi are still just men, most of them looking at the way some of the buttons on the chest of your shirt are a little too snug so to your growing tits. You note to yourself to get the next size up shirt when you feel this happen.

You and Levi both walk to the center of the training grounds with most of squad Levi surrounding and a few others that happened to be walking around on this crisp Saturday morning. Levi gets settled in a fighting stance and you follow as he does. “Begin” he says in his low emotionless voice. You step closer to him to begin throwing attacks towards his upper body, most getting blocked but an attempt to elbow his side proved efficient. He throws a series of hits towards you and you manage to dodge a few of them, but are struggling to breathe after a solid punch to the stomach. You think this is a pretty fair match up until he says “tch is that all you have? I’m getting bored.” He speeds up his hit combos, giving you less time in between to recover as you do your best to land a kick on him. His reaction time is way better than yours, grabbing your right ankle and flipping you through the air to have you fall onto your back. You see stars as your head collides with the ground. He has not rendered you out yet, grabbing your arm and twisting it go go behind your back, using the fake little dagger they use for training and press it to your neck. Luckily, you both were facing away from the crowd of people.

“You really thought you could take me? I even gave you the option to fight someone else and you were so cocky you thought you could beat me? Tch, your form and performance today disgusts me. Dismissed.”

Levi stands up and walks back towards the barracks by himself, not talking with anyone and rather pissy it seems. The men left there disperse as you lay on your back trying to fight back tears, your hands covering your face. As soon as the coast is clear Hange and Petra run to your side. “We were watching from the building to see what would happen… I’m so sorry y/n”

So embarrassed, the only reaction you have is to grunt as they help you stand and help you back over to where your room is.

You collapse as they help you get into your room, exhausted and defeated.

“Y/n… do you wanna talk about it?” Petra asks softly playing with your dirt filled hair, head hanging in your hands as your slouched up against your desk.

“Please, I love you guys just I need to be alone,” you say back to them, and without looking up you hear them shuffle out and close the door.

You sit there with your head racing, trying to figure out where you went wrong. Yes, you were drunk last night but you didn’t even do that on purpose! And he could’ve told you earlier in the night so you could’ve stopped drinking and went to bed earlier yes, but he didn’t? This had to be a sick test.

What if Levi didn’t know you were joining his squad and this was some plan from the higher ups? What if Captain Levi didn’t want you on his squad at all and was trying to punish you today?

What if this is some type of hazing to get into the squad? And if you show up the next day or last a week you pass?

Why did your ODM gear fail? It had never done that to you before.

And yet, you still couldn’t bring yourself to dislike the stoic man.

You gather the strength and your belongings and head to the showers. Not lifting your head, you walk blindly the hallways to the showers, having walked the same way for 5 years since your 5 year anniversary when you were given your upgraded room. As part of your promotion, you were given access to the superior showers, dedicated to veterans and officers. As you’re about to knock on the door to see if it is occupied, the door swings open.

Of course Captain Levi had just showered, because he had come inside earlier than you and didn’t have to sulk about his performance. You do your best to muster up a smile and move out of the way for him to leave. You can’t help but look over his sculpted shoulders and biceps, down to his chiseled abs, and the v-line with a happy trail up the middle connecting to the pristine white towel covering the rest.

“L/n,” he says with no emotion, “showers all yours.” He remains looking at your face, noting the eye bags and bloodshot eyes. You must have been crying after your performance today, he thinks to himself. Combined with the dried blood around your eyebrow and nose, he thinks you’ll need a long while in there to recupe.

You nod to him, he walks away and you can’t help but notice his little back dimples as well. You proceed with getting undressed and warming the shower up, ready to sit on the shower floor and cry more. Peeling off the dirty white shirt that will need scrubbed and feeling the cold air against your skin was like stripping off the fuck ups of this morning. You relax under the hot water, watching all the dirt and blood wash down the drain.

Your exhaustion and embarrassment from the morning take over and you begin to sob, crying like you never have before. Not even holding it back, if someone was walking past they surely could hear it. You’re not even sure what you’re technically upset about the most, but right now crying is just what helps. At this point you’re leaning on the tile, out of breath, hiccuping like a child that just finished screaming for their lost mother. You work up the strength to begin washing your long hair foaming shampoo into it and scrubbing. After conditioning and washing your body you are officially exhausted. Wrapping in your two towels and begin the walk back to your room which luckily wasn’t too far. Maybe that’s why Captain Levi also wore his towel leaving the shower.

As you return to your room you look at the fruit Levi brought you last night and sigh. Why would he do that just to kick your ass? You throw on some comfy clothes and crawl back in bed with wet hair, drifting off for a nap.

—

Waking in the early afternoon, you stretch and yawn as you climb out of bed. You begin getting dressed to go to dinner in some of your casual clothes, luckily you don’t have to wear your uniform on weekends. You opt for a button up baby blue flowy dress with a navy sweater over top and your non-work boots.

Assessing the damage of your face in the mirror, you notice the bruises forming around your eyebrow and your nose. You have some scrapes up and down your arms which is why you chose to wear the sweater over. Your body aches. After all the years you’ve spent as a scout you’ve hardly ever had injuries this bad. Never from training though.

As you’re about to head out the door you notice a letter slipped under your door. You assume it is a silly note from Hange trying to lighten your mood. Your grin fades as you see who has signed at the bottom.

“L/n,

Please come to my office after dinner to discuss your performance today.

Captain Levi”

Your stomach sinks. In all these years you’ve never been called to your superiors office. You slip the letter in your bra under your dress and begin to walk to go to dinner.

Luckily Hange and Petra are already seated and you try to slip in without anyone acknowledging you. Given the ass beating you received this morning with a lot of the scouts watching, they can’t help but grimace at your bruised face. You opt for some soup, bread, and vegetables and sit down avoiding eye contact of your peers. Hange and Petra go silent as they watch you take your first few bites.

“Y/n,” hange says gently, “you look awful.”

You do your best to fake a smile to her, pretending like nothing is wrong. “Y/n, please don’t pretend like you’re fine…we’re here to talk,” Petra adds.

“I am fine. I had a bad day of training and I was hungover. I am perfectly fine and will be better by Monday.” You snap back at the both of them. With that they decide to change the topic, and talk about events that are happening in the town square tomorrow. Something about a show and food vendors and lanterns, it’s supposed to be a pretty big deal.

“Do you want to go y/n?” Hange perks up, crossing her fingers that you’ll say yes.

“Maybe, hopefully tomorrow will be better than today.” You try regaining your positivity and friendliness everyone knows you for.

“Someone put a letter under my door while I was napping.” You suddenly change the topic. Petra and Hange look at you with eyebrows raised.

“Captain Levi wants to see me in his office after dinner,” you whisper so nobody around you can hear. “What if I’m getting kicked off for my performance today?”

“I’m sure that’s the last thing it is.” hange says rolling her eyes and taking a huge bite of her bread. Petra sighs, “y/n, don’t look but him and Erwin have been staring at you and whispering this whole dinner.”

Of course you look up to meet steel gray eyes looking back into your own. Instead of shying away you hold eye contact, letting him be the one to break first and turning to Miche on the other side of Erwin.

“I’m not some sad puppy. I’m not going to let one bad day in 10 years determine my future. If Captain Levi wants me to put up a fight, then so be it. Just because I’m the first girl on his squad doesn’t mean I’m going to sit back and take their shit.” You are gaining your confidence back and are not going to falter and beg Levi to let you stay.

“We got the old y/n back,” Hange taunts to Petra, nudging you in the arm. You smile and ask them, “so what are your plans for tonight?”

—

After dinner you head back to your room to put a little makeup on. If this meeting goes well maybe you’ll go into town with Hange and Petra for a girls night. You find yourself wanting to look pretty, just in case, although you never cared about that before.

Levi is more than likely in his office now, as you watched him get up to leave shortly after you had the eye contact stand off. His office and sleeping quarters are just down the hall from you. You push down the butterflies growing within your stomach and sweaty palms as you grow closer to the door. You decide to stand there for a few seconds to control how fast your heart is beating and regain your composure.

However, in the time you stand there you hear noises from inside his office.

Typically if Captain Levi is in, he leaves the door opened a crack so people can welcome themselves in, but this time his door is completely shut. You decide to lean your ear up to the door to see if you actually heard something inside his room. Groaning and a slick noise can be heard, and you immediately blush backing away as quietly as possible.

Before you decide to turn around and go back to your room, your curiosity gets the better of you. You return your ear up to the door. Does Captain Levi have a girl over? Is it someone in the scouts? Your mind wanders as you listen to his beautiful groans and…wait… he’s by himself. Oh my god he’s jacking himself off. You hear him sliding his hand over his cock repeatedly.

You know this is wrong, you know you should walk away and pretend this never happened. But yet, you find a different type of butterflies growing in your stomach now. Not the nervous ones, but the horny ones. You’ve never thought about the captain like this and you know you shouldn’t but his voice is so damn sexy.. and the way you saw the water drop off his body after his shower today… you can’t help but imagine what he looks like right now.

“….y/n…” you hear the faintest moan come through the door and all the color drains from your cheeks. Does he know you’re standing there? No there’s no way he could. He’s getting off thinking about you. But isn’t that kind of fucked up considering everything he put you through today? Maybe he’s attracted to you and that’s how you got on squad Levi and it wasn’t your skills at all.

Your brain grows foggy, not being able to focus on all the ‘what if’s’ anymore but only able to focus on the heat growing between your legs. The speed of his strokes and the frequency of his heavy breathing indicates he is getting close. You feel yourself clench around nothing and right when you’re about to leave you hear it again.

“Fuck, y/n…” so faintly yet you couldn’t have imagined it, not twice. You hear a deep groan as you assume is him spilling his seed. Your mind can’t help wonder where he came, and what his cock looks like, and what he tastes like.

With that you are walking away from his door as quietly as possible and hurriedly walking back to your own. As soon as you’ve made it to your room, your cheeks flushed and so horny you can’t think about anything else. You lock the door and throw yourself onto the bed, pulling up your dress around your waist and lowering your panties. You haven’t relieved yourself in so long and you haven’t been touched by someone else in a few weeks. You run your delicate fingers up and down your slit gathering your wetness to spread it around your clit. Rubbing in small circles you let out a meek moan. The only thing taking up space in your horny brain right now is Captain Levi and the past 10 minutes that took place. You start pushing two fingers in and out of your tight hole thinking if it was him fingering you how it would feel. Would he talk down to you like he did when you were training this morning? The thought of that turns you on to a whole new level. You continue to get yourself off when you hear a distant pair of footsteps in the hallway. You can’t be bothered by how foggy your brain is to care if someone hears you. The cute squelching noises your pussy is making would be enough to send any man over the edge. Your climax is building up so fast you don’t notice how the footsteps come to a stop outside of your door. After another minute of keeping up your movements your orgasm washes over you and you can’t help but let out a throaty “Leeviii” as you feel your back arch off the bed.

You put your panties back on, wiping your hands off on a towel in your room and are finally catching your breath when there is a soft knock on the door.

Good god, the footsteps in the hallway, did someone just hear all that? You look in the mirror to check yourself before opening the door. It looks like you just ran a mile with the way your chest is moving and the blush that creeps across your chest up to your cheeks.

You unlock and open the door to find Captain Levi standing there arms crossed. Trying to hide the mortified expression on your face as the reality sinks in of the past 30 minutes you stutter as you go to greet him, “Captain Levi! How can I help you?” Smiling at him with a glow on your face post orgasm.

“I believe you received the note to see me in my office after dinner,” he sternly responds not an emotion in his eyes. Surely if he had heard you he would’ve at least blushed or something?

“Oh y-yes Captain. I’m so sorry, I stopped by but you were-” you cut yourself off realizing what you were about to say. “Um your door was closed so I was going to stop by again in a few minutes,” you hurriedly finish your thoughts, not being able to maintain eye contact with your superior.

“Ah well, I’m free now so if you wouldn’t mind joining me.” If you’re not mistaken he just smirked at you? Is he playing mind games with you? No there’s no way he knew you were outside of his door, but maybe he did hear you moaning.

“Yes sir,” you follow behind him as he begins the walk to his office.

Either Captain Levi is the cockiest motherfucker in the scouts or he is absolutely oblivious. Or is he a master manipulator? All of your thoughts race as you approach his door again. All the meanwhile you think about how you still can’t hate him.

As you enter into his quaint office you take in the scent of tea spices, a well organized desk and bookshelf, and a small table. You notice a garbage can under the desk with tissues in it and can’t help but wonder…

“Can I offer you some tea?” He asks, walking over to a door on the other side of the room with a tea kettle. “Yes please,” you respond and he goes through the door, which must lead to his sleeping quarters and some type of stove to heat water.

“Please have a seat,” he motions to the small table that has some scouts paperwork on it as he enters back into the room. “It’ll take a few minutes for the water to heat.” You nod, sitting as you try to keep your nerves under control. He is walking around the near space tidying belongings and disappears in the next room again. He comes back with a blanket and some firewood. Lighting a fire in the small fireplace. He hands you the blanket, “‘m sorry it gets cold in here when the sun goes down.” You nod to him placing it on your lap as you hear the tea kettle boiling in the next room over. Does he do this when he meets with all his subordinates? Surely not…. Unless he is as nice as you suspected he was?

Captain Levi returns with a tray with two tea cups the boiling water and a variety of tea bags. “Would you like to pick?” He holds the selection out to you. “Whatever you recommend, I don’t know a lot about tea,” you try to lighten the room with a little giggle but his face remains stoic as he picks two of the same tea bags, setting them aside before placing the tea cups on the table, filling them with the hot water and placing the tea bags in the cups. He sits down at the seat next diagonal from you at the square table, so you both are facing the fire. He then grabs the blanket off your lap, spreading it out so it covers both of you. Everything he does is so calculated, and you are at the edge of your seat to find out more about him and what this meeting is about.

Captain Levi sips his tea first.

He sighs and states without looking at you, “I’m sorry about this morning.”

“Please sir, don’t apologize, I understand it was my fault and I will do better.” You do your best to keep a positive smile on your face even though he isn’t looking at you.

“Another thing about being on my team, don’t fucking lie to me. I’d rather you tell me you’re miserable and hate my guts than be fake to me.”

You are taken aback by his words, you have never heard a captain or high rank want to be addressed less formally. “I-I’m sorry?” You stutter out. He ignores your apology. “Our squad eats every meal together. We all have our rooms around the same area which won’t be a problem since you’re not too far from here anyways. We train 6 days a week unless there is a mission or some sort of order from the higher ups. I highly advise no more drinking and no more romantic involvement with any men..er women I guess.” Still not speaking directly at you he is just holding his tea cup to his lips, not by the handle but holding his hand over top the rim.

“Yes, Captain.” You nod, and he finally looks over to you, studying your face. You grow self conscious until he says, “How is your face feeling? That looked like quite the tumble.” You chuckle, touching your eyebrow. “I think it looks worse than it is. I think I was more embarrassed than anything,” you shrug taking a sip of your tea.

“I know you probably think I’m out to get you, given your experience this morning.” He says still looking in your eyes. Before he finishes his thought you cut him off, “oh not at all sir!”

Levi ignores your objection, continuing, “We have to be the best. I treat my team like brothers. We’ll I guess..erm..sister now too.” He looks away with what looks like a slight pinkness on his cheeks.

“You’ve been in the Scouts for longer than most of our team. You have a good head on your shoulders, I just need to make sure you can keep up with us physically. That’s why I wanted to see how your injuries were holding up this evening.”

You nod, as this feels like a mental game of chess. Captain Levi survived in the underground for years, he is calculated, sharp, even scary smart.

“I’d like for you to choose someone to practice your hand to hand combat skills with over the next few integration trainings. You were pretty good but you have to get great.”

“Yes Captain… would you mind helping me with it? I’d like to learn from the best.” You grin and blush up at him.

“Are you trying to kiss my ass L/n? It’s going to take a lot more than flattery to get on my good side.” He looks over at you with a slight smirk on his face and a playful tone, one of the first times you’ve ever seen him like this.

“Then what else would it take? To get on your good side?” You dare start flirting with your captain, feeling awfully bold and somewhat unhinged after all the events that have taken place today.

“You’ll have to figure that out yourself,” he says in a low, sultry tone as his eyes look from yours down to your lips and back. He reaches his hand over and you freeze, but he wipes off some tea from the corner of your lip and retreats his hand back.

“So I have to ask… since you said you stopped by earlier. I heard some footsteps approach my door while I was attending to some … personal matters.. and it seems they stopped and listened for a few minutes. You didn’t happen to see who it was did you?” Levi smirks staring at the fireplace, knowing he has caught you red handed as your face blushes hard.

“Next time, just knock. I could have used some assistance. It sounded like you needed some to,” he has a shit eating cocky grin, being the master manipulator he is looking over to you with your jaw dropped.

Link to part 2

[wxnderlustfandoms]

sparks fly [yj! robin x reader]

[not my gif]

pairing: [yj!robin x reader] (romantic), [yj team x reader] (platonic) 

description: You and Robin have known each other since you both became sidekicks at roughly the same time. And when you joined the team, you realized that you felt different with him than you did with anyone else. Maybe this mission will finally help you both confess your feelings

word count: 3799

warnings: robin, sb, and aqualad being overprotective, reader getting hurt, prolly like 2 cursewords

a/n: This is during the 5 year gap between season 1 and 2 so reader and dick (still robin) are both 16. Flora is your hero name

“Recently we’ve been getting reports of people going into the Forest of Eld and not coming out. A recent flyover by Captain Marvel confirms that there seems to be scorch marks in the trees, and some parts of the forest burnt away and reduced to ash.”

“I guess they named the forest correctly*,” You whispered to Superboy next to you and he smirked a little. 

“Your mission is, as always, recon. Go in, don’t get noticed, gather intel, get out. We don’t need 4 members of the team turned into char,” Batman explained the mission assignment you’d been called in for. 

Next to you, listening as well, were Superboy, Aqualad, and Robin. Miss Martian had taken a small squad in her bioship on another small assignment, meaning the four of you would have to take the Super Cycle. 

“Flora, Aqualad, you two especially need to be careful,” Batman turned to you both as he wrapped up. You both nodded and started to walk over to the S-Cycle as she folded out into the bike form. 

“You sure you’re both up for a mission that’s potentially throwing you into your weaknesses?” Robin asked, climbing into the seat right next to you.

“Of course. We can handle ourselves. It’s not like we can avoid any mission that could potentially expose us to our weaknesses. Risk like that comes with the job,” Kaldur explained. 

You nodded, agreeing. “Plus, I’ll just throw Superboy in front of the fire if it comes to it,” You joked, causing him to grunt. You knew he thought it was funny too. Ever since you helped Kid Flash, Robin, and Aqualad rescue him at Kadmus, he became like a brother to you. Of course, the entire team was very close and most of them were very protective of you, but Superboy was definitely the closest to real family to you. When Robin added to the joke, causing you all to laugh, you looked over at him. 

Now, with him, it was different. You didn’t feel as though he was your family. You felt strong emotions for him, and have since you met as sidekicks. You only recently figured those emotions out to be love. But you were stuck as friends. He had only just recently (2 months ago) broken up with Zatanna. And you didn’t want to compromise your position as his best friend (sorry Wally) and obviously didn’t want to make working with him on the team awkward, because you were sure he didn’t feel the same way. 

You all started to get your game faces on when you arrived at the forest. It was a good thing you all started to focus, because as soon as Superboy started bringing the S-Cycle down to land, a giant ball of fire came from the forest and hit the Cycle dead on, causing her to start falling. You took a hold of Robin and jumped out of the Cycle. Causing your descent to the ground to slow, as you controlled the air currents around you both to carry some of the weight. As you all reached the ground, Superboy and Kaldur being able to get themselves down, you all immediately went on guard.

“Well, that was a nice warm welcome,” You joked.

“Stay on guard,” Kaldur ordered as you all started moving into the thick of the trees. Eventually getting to a point where the thicket was so dense it was dark enough to barely be able to see two feet ahead of you. 

“Superboy, can you see anything with infrared?” Kaldur whispered.

“No,” Connor replied after he scanned the area. You, however, were not convinced. You closed your eyes and felt the earth around you with your powers and were able to see a group of people surrounding you, raising their hands in what you assumed would be an attack. You immediately reached out to hold as much of the surrounding air as possible and cause a large dome of rushing winds to surround you and your friends. Just in time too, as all of the people started cascading the dome with fire. It was like they all had flamethrowers. You stomped on the ground and caused vines to come up and catch every assailant you could feel just as your dome started to dissipate. The flames had all but stopped, but you didn’t have time to react when another person dropped from the trees and punched his fist out at you, a puff of flames coming directly at you and making contact with your upper arm. You let out a scream of pain and your teammates were immediately by your side, turning towards the attackers to protect you.

“Wait!” The attacker who burnt you, took a step closer, holding his flame out to provide light. Kaldur held his water sword towards him, telling him to not step any closer. “Robin, Superboy, Aqualad, and Flora! You guys are heroes!” He said, his voice filled with shock. 

“We do our best,” Superboy replied, still on guard.

“I am beyond sorry for attacking you, and for burning you,” He directed the last part of the statement to you, bowing slightly out of respect. You, who was still holding your scolding arm in pain, looked up to him in confusion, not completely believing his apology. Robin was the closest to you, holding an eskrima stick in one hand, and keeping his other one on your shoulder as a reminder that he was right there. While the man - well, he seemed to be no older than 18, so he wasn’t necessarily a full-grown man -  ordered his fighters to stand down, you all were still holding fighting stances, not letting your guards down. “There's no need to be on guard, we are on your side,” The teen boy in front of you said. 

“You have to realize how hard that is to believe. People have been disappearing in this forest, and there are scorch marks and ash everywhere.” You defended your team's actions.

“And you did just burn our teammate,” Robin added, keeping his arm pressed against yours. It was comforting to feel his touch, even in such a high-stress situation.

 “We can explain everything, but first we need to treat your friend’s burn,” The leader said. 

You all looked at each other. Being able to communicate without speaking would’ve been easier if Miss Martian was here, but none of you needed her telepathy to be able to come to a conclusion.

 “I can handle my burn myself, thank you. We would like the explanation,” You stated, crouching down to grow the plant you needed to treat your burn. Again, he bowed slightly to show he respected your wishes and began to explain the culture and nature of the people in his village.

“1000 years ago, the sun-blessed the leader of my village with a gift. The gift was to produce and control fire,” The man showed a small spark from the palm of his hand to emphasize the point. “The gift ended up being hereditary and now there is scarcely a person in the village who isn’t able to control fire.” While the man was explaining, Robin helped cover your wound and tie a leaf wrap around your upper arm. You whispered a small thanks and focused on the story he was telling.“The thing is, 30 years ago, our village was attacked and destroyed. Many of the villagers managed to escape. My father, who was 14 at the time, promised to rebuild the village and bring back any villagers who remained alive so that our village would thrive again. He has only just now finished the village completely, and the last few villagers are finally returning. The reason there have been reports of people disappearing is because the few people that have waited this long to return created lives for themselves outside the forest in order to survive before they could return, but they always meant to come back. I promise, no one is here that hasn’t decided of their free will.” 

You all looked at each other as the man finished his story. You four excused yourself to be able to discuss what you heard. 

“He was being sincere,” You told them, as you were able to feel his heartbeat stay steady and his breathing was normal while he spoke. “Or he’s just a really good liar.”

“Okay, so, we got our intel, should we go back?” Superboy asked.

“How? S-Cycle is still folded up to heal from the attack. We’re kind of stuck for a while. Besides, shouldn’t we, you know, check out the village to double-check their story?” You responded. Kaldur nodded, agreeing with you. 

“Okay, but you stay in between us while we walk there,” Robin said after hesitating to respond, obviously still worried about you. You gave him a look. “I know, you can handle yourself, and you did save us from being barbecued, but you still got hurt and I’m not about to let that happen again.” He replied, giving you an equally serious look. You sighed after seeing the Aqualad and Superboy felt the same and nodded. The group of fire wielders were very enthusiastic when you asked to see the village, and led you all through the forest. When you broke through the leaves to a bright clearing, it took a moment for your eyes to adjust to the light. But when they did, you couldn’t help letting your jaw slacken a little as you gaped at the sight before you. There weren’t any houses on the ground, there were stairs, ramps, and ladders up to the top part of the canopy where huge treehouses were built. Lanterns, string lights, and torches lit the way and made the village look almost magical. 

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” The man from before that was leading the group said to the team, but his gaze was focused on you. You nodded, not taking your eyes off of the treehouses and surrounding scenery. The rest of them were less focused on the scenery and were still on their guard, so they all caught the guys piercing gaze towards you, and none of them liked it. Especially not Robin, who moved closer to you, if that was even possible as he had been sticking to you like glue the whole time. “I’m Ray,” The man finally introduced himself, sticking his hand out towards you. You finally looked down and met his eye, glancing at his hand. You would feel bad if you didn’t shake his hand, but you still felt reluctant about trusting him. So when you didn’t shake his hand, his expression fell a bit, but it caused Robin to smirk next to you. Ray cleared his throat to clear the awkward air, “Well, would you like a tour of the village?” He asked, but yet again it seemed like he was only asking you. 

“Yes, we would appreciate that. Thank you,” You gave him a polite smile and motioned for him to lead the way. You caught how his expression fell slightly yet again. You were starting to feel very suspicious of the situation you and your teammates were in, but you needed to tread lightly to be able to figure it out without endangering them. As the tour concluded, you felt like you just hiked a mountain. The number of stairs you had to walk up and down was impressive. You were in shape enough to still be okay, but you definitely needed a bit of a break. 

“Flora, can I talk to you in private,” Ray asked, holding his hand out to you. 

“You can’t say it in front of my teammates?” You asked, quirking your eyebrow in suspicion. 

“It would be better to speak away from them,” He replied. 

“Fine, but somewhere they can still see us,” You answered, taking his hand and letting him lead you a bit away from the group. As you started walking, you looked at Superboy and gave him a slight movement that he knew meant to listen. 

“I think you would do well here.” Ray started. 

“What do you mean?” 

“I think you’re one of the most talented, beautiful women I’ve ever seen. I want you to stay here with me,” He said as he took both of your hands in his own.

“I’m not one of you. I don’t have fire powers. I do not belong here,” You replied, removing your hands from his grip, which was a bit hard because of how strong his grip was on you. 

“I’m disappointed to hear you say that. But I will still try to convince you that you belong here until your team decides to leave,” He said, a look of determination evident on his face, mixed with something a bit more malicious. You did not like the vibes on this guy at all. However, if you were going to find more out about the village, you needed him to trust you. 

“Hmm, I’ll think about it. Maybe you can tell me more about your village’s history, so I can become more familiar with everything,” You prompted. 

“I would love to! But unfortunately, it will have to wait until I have a meeting with our village leaders,” He explained, excusing himself with a bow. “I look forward to seeing you again.” 

You gave him a polite smile as you walked back to your team, and before you could divulge your plan to them, Superboy cut you off.

“You’ll ‘think about it’?” He asked, not amused at all. “Is this not the same man who just burnt you?” 

“What are you talking about?” You asked.

“SB told us about the convo you just had. You’re not seriously thinking about staying here, are you?” Robin asked.

“You cannot choose these people you just met over your friends,” Aqualad added.

“I ‘cannot’?” You were going to explain yourself until you heard that. “And who, exactly, said you could control what I do or do not? You may be the team leader but that does not mean you can tell me what decisions to make with my life,” You tried controlling your voice, but it started to get a bit aggressive. You understood that they were only trying to look out for you, but you were fed up with them treating you like you were breakable, someone they had to constantly baby, and you were certainly fed up with them trying to make decisions for you. 

“Flora, calm down,” Aqualad tried to get you to contain your voice, but also your powers as the wind started to pick up. You sighed and looked away from them, taking a deep breath to control yourself. 

“Flor-” Robin started to speak but you cut him off.

“I need some time by myself, to think.” You put emphasis on the last word, hoping it would get them to reflect on their choice of words while you calmed down away from them. You settled on a high platform in the middle of the village, your feet swinging off the side. You looked over the village and observed what they were doing, the buildings people were going in, and the places they avoided. You were trying to do what you originally came here to do, but you heard footsteps behind you. You had memorized the breathing pattern of the person so you didn’t even need to look over as they sat down next to you to know it was the same Boy Wonder you fell in love with years ago. You sighed, and played around with your hands, fidgeting as you started apologizing. 

“Listen, I know you guys just want to protect me and get the mission done, so I’m sorry I added more drama in the mix. I was just trying to find out more about the village,” You explained looking over at him, your cheeks flushing a little as you saw how close your faces were, and how his eyes gently looked into yours. 

“I’m the one who should apologize. You’re a powerful, talented member of the team, and you’re capable of taking care of yourself. But I just… I can’t stand seeing you in pain so when I know I can try to prevent it, I do,” He looked down, avoiding your gaze.You reached out and cupped his cheek with your hand and gently brought his gaze back to you. 

“Getting hurt comes with the job, but knowing you’re there for me makes all the difference,” You explain. “Thank you.”

You smile softly, looking at his mask-covered eyes wondering if they were filled with the same look of love and admiration that yours were. You felt the distance between your faces close and your lips press against each other delicately. You felt sparks fly in your mind and butterflies in your stomach. The wind around you started whipping around you both in a circle, and unbeknownst to you, flowers sprouted in your hair. When you separated, you kept your eyes closed for a second, lightly smiling until you heard robin chuckle, feeling the air of his laugh on your cheek because of how close you two still were. You opened your eyes and looked at him with a questioning look and he reached into your hair and picked out one of the flowers, showing it to you. Your eyes opened wide in surprise. 

“That’s new,” You said, your voice nearly above a whisper.

“For me too,” He joked, saying he’s never had a reaction to his kisses like that before. You laughed with him before pressing your lips against his again. However, this kiss was shorter as you heard someone clear their throat near the tree. You and Robin separated quickly and looked over, now on guard as you both stood up. When you saw Ray, leaning against the tree, you sensed something completely different about him. Robin caught onto it too and moved in front of you a bit. You couldn’t help but smirk ever so slightly at his over-protective nature kicking in again, but you found it so endearing about him. Focusing on Ray as he started speaking, his voice void of that obviously fake friendly manner. 

“It’s a shame, I did try to warn you, Flora. I mean, I obviously wasn’t explicit, but you’re a smart girl, I know you caught onto my little act. If only you were a bit smarter and promised to stay here with us, and be on my side. I could’ve saved you from all of the hurt you’re about to feel.” He taunted, obviously not scared at all as he was nonchalantly looking down at his nails, and still hadn’t separated from the tree. 

“So was anything you said to me true? Because I’d hate to have to figure out the truth of your village on top of kicking your ass,” You mixed the threat in, trying to get to the bottom of what was happening. 

“It's true that the legend of our village says we got our power from the sun, and it’s true that our village was attacked 30 years ago, but it wasn’t by any opposing village. It was by our own. Traitors, who opposed my grandfather’s rule. He was a great leader, making plans to expand our village and spread our gift to the rest of the world. But there were some, short-minded families who believed that it was wrong, and we needed to stay within our forest. A civil war broke out, killing my grandfather. Once he was dead, the village was abandoned. Both sides retreated. When my father returned a year later, he promised to take vengeance on any of the families that killed his grandfather. Those are the people who have been “disappearing”. They don’t deserve your pity, they're traitors.” He told the story, finally stepping towards you two, causing you to shift into a more secure fighting position.

“It’s not your place to decide who lives or dies, and it’s definitely not a welcome idea to try to force your way of life onto other people,” You explain, though you knew he was way past reason. 

“It’s disappointing to hear you say that,” He said, looking away from you for a second, before quickly turning back and fire two streams of fire directly at you two. It was your turn to move in front of Robin and quickly blast the attack away from the two of you. You quickly took his moment of blindness to your advantage and moved up to him, scratching your skin and releasing a toxic mix of plants, inducing sleep. He tried to fight it, grabbing your arm, which you quickly grabbed his and sent him flying into the tree bark. He groaned and fell on the floor, knocked out.

“All bark and no bite…” You quipped, looking at Robin with a goofy expression before pointing at the bark and then the man passed out on the ground. He rolled his eyes before grinning as well, pulling you in close with one arm. 

“And I didn’t even have to do anything,” He said.

 “Of course not, I couldn’t let you get into harm's way. I can’t stand seeing you in pain so when I knew I could try to prevent it, I did,” You quoted him from earlier and he smirked down at you. 

Once you got the violent villagers in custody, you finally went back to the cave. 

“So I heard you guys had an eventful mission,” M’gann said, flying over to you all as you arrived through zeta tube. She ran and hugged Superboy. 

“Yeah, something like that,” You looked at Robin and smiled and he smiled back at you.

“Hah! You owe me $30!” Artemis yelled at Wally. 

“What? You don’t even know if they’re official or not, are you guys… dating?” He looked at you two. You both just smiled at him.

“Aw, man! How’d you even notice?” He threw his hands up in the air as he forked over the cash to his girlfriend. 

“Just look at them, they’ve got lovey-dovey-new-couple written all over them,” Artemis explained.

“Yeah, but they’ve always been like that,” Superboy pointed out.

 “Hey! You know what that means! We can go on triple dates!” M’gann said excitedly to you six. “....Sorry Kaldur. You can come too?” 

“I will pass, but thank you for offering” He responded lightheartedly. You all laughed and you leaned over to give your new boyfriend a peck on the check.

[sevendeadlywhispers]

7Seals

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Chapter 7

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• Previous Chapter: Chapter Six

• Next Chapter: Chapter Eight

• New chapters every Thursday

•Content: Levi Ackerman × OC female. Slow Burn! Canon verse!

• Word Count: 1.2k

• Warning: This content may not be suitable for all readers. If you've watched all of AOT then you will understand that the show handles heavy subjects such as abuse, racism, violence, and other heavy subjects. This fanfiction will also have the same heavy themes. Chapters with heavy themes will be marked with (*) at each chapter.

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My knocks echoed down the hall of the captain's quarters as I stood outside Captain Levi's office. Levi's voice sharp as ever came through on the other side.

"Name and business."

"Aldridge. Reporting for duty," I replied, pushing the door open to the familiar scent of fresh tea and the tidiest captain's quarters in the Survey Corps. It might be the smallest space among the captains, but you couldn't find a speck of dust.

"Quit gawking and get over here," Levi ordered, snapping me out of my brief admiration for the cleanliness standards.

Levi didn't bother looking up as he continued fiddling with paperwork on his desk.

"Where were you?" he cut straight to the point.

"I'm sorry, Captain. Alexander asked for my help, and I—" Levi didn't let me finish; he interrupted with the finesse of someone who didn't have time for nonsense.

"I don't care about your excuses," he declared, his focus solely on the documents. "You lack discipline. I expect you to show up on time."

"Yes, Captain," I responded, keeping any quiver in my voice hidden. Levi's eyes remained glued to the papers as if they held more importance than the person standing before him.

He continued shuffling through the paperwork, the rhythm of his actions feeling like a metronome dictating the beat of a military march. It left me standing there, just another note in the symphony of his disciplined world. The captain's quarters, neat as a pin, became the stage for a confrontation heavy with unspoken tensions and unmet expectations. Levi's stern gaze met mine as he laid down the stack of paperwork across from him at his desk.

"Your punishment for now is going to be helping me with paperwork, after every dinner you'll be in my office helping me." he declared, his tone carrying the weight of authority. "Well, don't just stand there. Get to work."

I wasted no time, swiftly grabbing the papers and starting to skim through them. "May I?" I gestured toward the couch.

"Don't fall asleep," he groaned, a hint of annoyance in his voice.

I settled onto the couch, sinking into the soft cushions as I examined the detailed files of each soldier in the Survey Corps. It was a thorough account of their service, a testament to the challenges and victories they faced.

"Find the best ones. Choose wisely. I'll be going over it all with you after you're done," Levi instructed, taking a sip of his tea.

Levi had found a new method for recruiting, a departure from his usual approach. Perhaps too many complaints led to this change, but I didn't mind. It made the task more manageable for me.

"Make sure to pull out Eld and Oluo," Levi instructed.

"I think you were right earlier," I quickly responded. "No point in picking them. They lack discipline."

"You lack discipline, yet you're still here," Levi remarked, cutting through my justification. "Why the change of heart?"

I hesitated for a moment, choosing my words carefully. "I realize the importance of discipline, Captain. I want to improve and contribute more effectively to the squad. I think this is a good call."

Levi raised an eyebrow, his piercing gaze searching for any hint of insincerity.

"Actions speak louder than words, Aldridge. So give me a real reason why I shouldn't choose Eld and Oluo?"

Levi's eyes met my face, his gaze feeling like a meticulous scan of every detail. In his office, only two lanterns were lit, casting a subtle glow that veiled my features. The light was perfectly placed to see every detail in his face. You could see the small specs of blue in his sharp eyes. The way his black hair fell into his face covering almost covering his eyes.

He rose from his desk and circled the room, an air of expectation surrounding him. "Well?" he prompted, his tone cutting through the silence.

"Oh," I stammered, caught off guard. I hadn't prepared an excuse beyond this point. "Just thought it might be for the best. I think Alexander wouldn't be the happiest if we take more members from his squad."

Levi's response was swift and unyielding.

"If he has a problem, he can take it up with Erwin."

As Levi tended to the logs in the fireplace, kindling a fire that filled the room with light, I couldn't escape the reality that the illumination exposed more than shadows. Papers and my hair offered only limited cover, and I felt his gaze on me, a weight I could no longer evade. Levi stood right in front of me.

I looked up, meeting his eyes in an instant. His eyes showed no indication of contentment or curiosity.

"That's a nasty bruise you got there, Iris," he remarked, his voice monotone and something else I couldn't quite decipher.

The sound of my name rolling off Levi's lips sent a shiver down my spine. I'd only heard him call me by my name once before, and this moment, where he inquired about my bruise, erased any excuses I'd prepared. Over the years, I'd braced myself for judgment; after all, we were soldiers, and injuries were part of the job. But when Levi asked, it felt different.

"Oh yeah, it doesn't hurt," I chuckled, attempting to downplay the significance.

"I got it during training."

"Really?" he questioned, a hint of skepticism in his tone. "I don't recall a moment during our training where you would have received that. We haven't done any hand-to-hand combat."

"I sparred with some of my old squad mates earlier. Alexander and I were showing them techniques," I explained, hoping my words would appease him.

His face remained expressionless, his eyes looking down on me as if I were inconsequential.

"So, you skipped our training to train with another squad captain?"

His eyes scanned my every movement. The disapproving gaze made me want to crawl underneath his desk and hide.

"I'll be having a word with Captain Wright."

"There's no need," I quickly interjected. "It's completely my fault. I lost track of time and got carried away. I'm sorry, Captain."

"He knows better than to keep another squad member from their training. Your pleading won't stop me," Levi asserted, turning back to his desk to sit down.

"Levi, it's my fault. No need to bother him," I pleaded.

"It's Captain,"

"I'll do as I please. Now, focus on your work. You're not leaving until it's done." He said going back to his desk, ignoring me from that point on.

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Hours passed, and my mind continued to wander back to Alexander. If Levi talked to him, it could be game over for me. The uncertainty loomed like a storm on the horizon.

"That paper is not going to change the harder you stare at it," Levi's voice interrupted my thoughts.

"Oh, I just think this person might be a good match. That's all," I lied, trying to mask my unease.

"Really?" Levi stood up. "Who is it, then?"

Panic gripped me as I realized I didn't even know whose file I held in my hand. Glancing at the top, I quickly blurted out a name. "Um, Petra, sir."

"Let me see the file." He grabbed it from my hands, his eyes scanning the contents. "What makes you choose her? Her file is just like every other one."

"I think under your command, she would thrive. I don't know, just a gut feeling, sir," I said, attempting to provide a satisfactory answer.

"Sounds good enough to me," he remarked, grabbing my stack of papers and examining the ones I had picked out. "Gunther?"

"Yes, he's very serious about his job. Agility-wise, he's amazing," I told him.

"Meet me by the mess hall after breakfast tomorrow. We will go observe them all during their training one more time. You're dismissed."

I'm so fucked.

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[pickalilywrites]

It would have been interesting if the Levi squad was a bigger group, seniors members with the newbies together. Such as cleaning for example. The dos and don'ts. Such as when they first joined the squad. Oluo and Eren teaching them how to clean.

That would be an interesting fic to read. If that interests you that is

thank you for requesting :)

welcome to squad levi

new squad levi. squad levi. canon divergent. 1799 words.

The newest recruits of the Special Operations Squad are gathered in the castle’s drawing room, most of them collapsed on the rug or couch after a long day of chores. When the young soldiers had been assigned to Captain Levi’s squad, they hadn’t expected this much cleaning even with the fair warning Eren had given them. Nobody was used to such intensive labor, and only Eren and Mikasa seem unaffected by it. The rest of their peers are moaning and groaning about how much their muscles ache. 

“I thought it wouldn’t be anything compared to the training we endured under Shadis, but the Captain really works us to the bone,” Sasha complains. She sits on the floor, her back resting against the couch. Connie sits behind her with his hands massaging her shoulders, nodding sympathetically as she complains. “He banned me from the kitchen after seeing me snacking on a few bread crusts in the pantry. Can you believe it? I just needed a little something to sustain me after cleaning so hard.”  

“Knowing you, it was more than just a little snack. You were probably going to clear out the entire pantry if the Captain hadn’t stopped you,” Jean scoffs. The tips of his ears turn red when hears Mikasa’s laughter mingling with everyone else’s.  

“I guess that’s one way to clean it," Armin muses. He sits in a chair rubbing the muscles in his arm. Every few minutes he switches to the other arm. He had been given the task of dusting the library and had somehow miraculously resisted the urge to pull out every book and flip through their pages.  

“At least the senior members are nice,” Historia says. She’s also sitting on the floor leaning against Mikasa. “Gunther helped me with dusting the shelves when he noticed I couldn’t reach the ones on the top.”  

“I don’t know about nice. Eld told me if I left any streak marks on the window that the Captain would chop off my limbs and feed them to Titans on our next expedition,” Jean says with a shudder.  

“He was just teasing you. Captain Levi would never do that. It’d be too messy to have to haul around your disembodied limbs,” Eren says earnestly, and Jean scowls at him.  

“Auruo talks too much,” Mikasa says. “He kept telling me I was doing everything wrong and tried to do everything for me.”  

“Petra is nice,” Armin says. He curls up in the armchair, his legs pulled up underneath him and his arms wrapped around his legs. He rests his chin on his knees. He closes his eyes, feeling the warmth of the fireplace on his skin as the flames flicker in the hearth. “She kept giving me pointers. I barely got scolded by the Captain when he came by to inspect our work.”  

Connie waves off Armin’s words with a dismissive hand. “No, the Captain just likes small, cute people. If you and Petra were working in the same room, of course he’d go easy on the both of you.”  

“He’s not nice to me,” Historia sniffs. “He kept telling me I missed the cobwebs in the corner. At least Gunther was nice enough to take the blame and say it was his fault for not teaching me how to clean properly.” 

“Maybe you’re just not cute enough,” Mikasa suggests, and she smirks when Historia whips her head around to give Mikasa a scandalized look for even suggesting such a thing.  

“It’s not that bad. The Captain is just really difficult to please,” Eren says. He reaches up to tug at a lock of his hair nervously. He knows it’s not his job to make his friends’ time in the Special Operations Squad enjoyable — it’s not like they can leave if they want to — but he does want to make this as painless for them as possible.  

“What’s that guy’s deal anyway? I don’t think I’ve seen him smile once,” Jean says with a scowl. Like Historia, he had also been scolded by the Captain for his poor cleaning skills and was made to redo all his work on cleaning the windows. He had been one of the last to be relieved of his duties for the night and he’s still sour about it.  

They aren’t thoughts that Eren hadn’t had himself regarding the Captain, but it makes Eren antsy to hear it from the mouths of his peers. Eren stammers, “It’s not so bad. He just values cleanliness. You guys will get used to it soon enough.” 

“I guess his height isn’t the only thing about him that’s short,” Connie snickers. “He’s got a short fuse, too.” 

“It’s not like you’re very tall yourself, so who are you to talk about height?” Sasha grins, poking a pouting Connie in the thigh.  

“Maybe he’s just old and grumpy,” Mikasa says, which elicits some grins and surprised giggles from her peers who aren’t used to her badmouthing their superiors. Then again, she’s never been fond of the Captain to begin with.  

Historia sits up straight, a strange expression on her face. It’s oddly stern, brow furrowed slightly, and her mouth is set in a thin line. In a deep voice that’s clearly meant to be a mockery of the Captain’s, Historia says, “Ackerman, if you don’t get the dust underneath the rug, you’ll be cleaning the stable tomorrow as well.”  

“You guys,” Eren begins. His gaze flickers towards the hallway nervously as his friends burst into laughter around him. It’s no use warning them because his words are being drowned out by their laughter.  

“Pretty good, but his expression is more pinched,” Connie says, abandoning his task of rubbing Sasha’s shoulders so that he can give his own impression of the Captain. His grin disappears as his expression sobers before being replaced by one that looks just like the Captain’s. Like Historia, he also mimic’s the Captain’s low tone as he says, “You little shits better clean every speck of dust in this castle or else I’ll feed you to the Titans.”  

“That’s not -” Eren begins, but Armin interrupts him. 

“The Captain’s vocabulary is vulgar, but he doesn’t throw curses around so frivolously,” Armin says.  

“You should try it then,” Sasha grins. 

“Try it, try it!” Connie chants while the rest of their friends goad Armin on.  

“Ah, I really shouldn’t,” Armin begins. 

“Yeah, you really shouldn’t,” Eren  chimes, but his timid warning is drowned out by his friends’ cheers when Armin assumes his own imitation of the Captain’s typical stern expression.  

Armin tilts his head ever so slightly so that he’s looking down at his friends from the bridge of his nose. “Pipe down, brats, or I’ll have you scraping shit from the stables all day tomorrow.” 

Everyone bursts into laughter after Armin’s impression — even Eren can’t help cracking a smile — until a voice suddenly says, “That’s not how Captain Levi sounds like at all.”  

The startled friends turn their heads towards the doorframe where the senior members of Squad Levi are standing  with amused expressions on their faces.  

Auruo strolls forward, arms outstretched in a shrug. “Mocking our captain, I see. A pathetic attempt to capture any of his aura. It’s laughably bad. It’s a good thing the Captain wasn’t here to see how awful it was.”  

“Yeah, it’s not enough to copy his expression. You need to copy his entire demeanor,” Eld says with a lopsided grin. He  gestures for Petra to enter the room. “Come on, Petra. Show these kids how it’s done.”  

“I don’t know,” Petra begins, her voice trailing off uncertainly even as the corners of her mouth curve upward in a helpless smile. She coughs when she notices all the eyes on her and then says, “Alright, just once then.”  

Petra gestures for Eld and Gunther to stand in front of her. She whispers a few things to them and seems to get something from Gunther. The younger members of the Special Operations Squad crane their necks to see what’s happening, but it’s impossible to see what Petra’s up to when Eld and Gunther are in the way. Eventually, Petra clears her throat and Eld and Gunther part for her to walk through. There’s a handkerchief tucked into the front of her collar that’s made to look like the Captain’s cravat.  

The new squad members watch, eyes widening, as Petra walks across the floor, her boots clomping against the hardwood. Her gait is exactly the same as the Captain’s — the same powerful, confident stride — and she stops only once she approaches the empty armchair across from Armin. When she sits down, her right ankle rests on her left knee and her body is twisted slightly so that her arm rests across the back of the armchair. The disinterested gaze in her amber eyes and the slight frown on her lips is unmistakably the same as the Captain’s. Her brows lower disapprovingly as she gazes down at the amazed teenagers.  

“What are you brats staring at?” Petra says and even her tone sounds like the Captain. She doesn’t even crack a smile when she speaks. “Do you have to take a shit or something?”  

“That’s exactly like him!” Sasha says in amazement.  

“It’s like he’s sitting in front of us right now,” Connie gasps as Petra’s companions laugh behind them.  

“Well, he’s standing behind you right now,” another voice says, one that belongs to their real captain.  

“C-captain!” Gunther stammers. “We were just ...” 

“- showing the new recruits -” Eld continues before looking at Auruo to finish making up an excuse. 

“- how to do a good impression of you!” Auruo blurts and everyone glares at him. He throws up his hands. “You guys try to think of something on the spot!”  

The Captain seems unimpressed. “Why are you all still sitting there gawking? It’s late. Everyone is getting up early tomorrow for an extra round of training.”  

There’s a little grumbling and mumbling, but everyone gets up and shuffles out of the room. Before Petra leaves, the Captain says, “And, Ral?”  

“Y-yes, Captain?” Petra stammers, freezing just before she’s able to escape through the door. She swears underneath her breath, cursing her luck, and the Captain smirks. 

“I’d never wear my cravat that sloppily,” Levi says, reaching out to fix it.  He reaches out slowly, his fingertips brushing against Petra’s neck as he tucks the cravat in properly. His smirk grows when he sees the hitch in her breath, and he takes his time fluffing out the handkerchief so that it looks like a presentable make-shift cravat. He smooths out a corner, his eyes flickering up at Petra’s face as his hand finally leaves her handkerchief. “Dismissed.” 

“Yes, sir,” Petra breathes before scampering away, cheeks still flushed from the thought of her captain’s fingertips grazing her skin. 

[markrosewater]

Hey Mark, it's my birthday! Can I get trivia on DOM or ELD? They were both significant milestones in my MTG journey and are dear to me.

Dominaria was originally going to be a small block (one larger set and one small), but the small set got changed into a core set just before it was about to begin design.

Happy Birthday!

[little-spoiled-brat]

Can I get a Levi x medic! Reader fic? Where they’re in a secret relationship and reader was recently employed by the scouts. She was sent with Levi along with the original squad Levi and Eren to oversee training and be their official doctor, especially for Eren. Everyone is so surprised to see how differently their captain interacts with reader and starts speculating things like he’s crushing on her, etc until one day one of them walk in on Levi and reader having an intimate moment

pairing: levi x reader

cw: slight spoilers for season 1, mostly fluff

author’s note: i figured that writing is better than being left alone with my thoughts. depression is not fun.

- caught -

“you ready down there, eren?” hange asked as you peeked over the deep well where eren was. he looked up at the three of you and awaited for further instructions from the spectacled section commander.

“i’ll fire a smoke signal when we’re ready to begin. everything after that is up to you” hange said as eren nodded, raising his arm to show that he understood.

“let us know if there’s anything out of the ordinary that happens” you said, getting a thumbs up from eren as you joined hange and levi a few feet away.

you had been assigned to the old survey corps headquarters to oversee eren’s titan training. you were their official doctor in case anything happens but you were mostly assigned to monitor eren and his well-being during his training.

at first, you were a bit skeptical to be looking after a boy who can turn into a titan but you knew that the special operations squad and levi will be with you the entire time so having your husband next to you eased your worries by a lot.

and besides, it’s not like you were fond of the idea of levi looking after a titan shifter. not like you were questioning his skills but as his wife, you were still concerned and worried about his safety.

hange shot the green smoke signal as the three of you waited for eren to transform into a titan. a few minutes passed and nothing happened, you turned to levi who was next to you as he never looked away from the deep well in front of him.

“did he not see the signal or something?” you asked no one in particular as your eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

“no. i doubt this would work so easily” levi said before heading over to the edge of the well to see what happened to eren.

“oi, eren! the test is off for now!” levi said, giving eren a warning before looking over the edge. you gasped softly upon seeing what had happened.

“did something happen-“ hange started but cut herself off when the brunette boy stared up at the three of you with blood soaked hands from the bite marks he made in attempt to turn into a titan.

“hange, i can’t turn into a titan” eren said, defeatedly as hange immediately grabbed a ladder to get eren out of there.

“tch. we’ll try again tomorrow” levi clicked his tongue at the brunette boy as you started preparing your first aid kit to bandage up the bite marks he made on his hands.

“what happened?” you asked, gently cleaning the wounds as you began to wrap his hand in the bandages.

“i don’t know. i couldn’t turn into a titan” eren said as you handed him a cloth to wipe any remaining blood on his hands and around his mouth.

“did you feel anything unusual?” you asked, taking note of his answers to write on the progress report later on.

you finished patching him up before joining the rest of squad levi to get a tea break. you sat down next to petra and you were just about to grab yourself some tea when a freshly brewed cup was placed in front of you.

“oh. thank you, captain” you said, looking up to see that it was levi who made you the cup of tea. he nodded in acknowledgement and sat down next to you, sipping on his own tea.

petra, oluo, eld, gunther, and eren all gave you subtle questioning looks as you simply shrugged your shoulders. no one in the survey corps knew that you and levi were married since the both of you wanted to keep the relationship known to a handful of people you both trusted to know.

“captain levi, section commander hange is looking for you” moblit said, appearing next to levi after a few minutes as your husband nodded. he grabbed his tea and followed moblit to where hange was.

“i’m pretty sure captain levi has a crush on you” petra pointed out once levi was out of your sights. you raised an eyebrow at her as oluo moved from his seat to sit next to you.

“captain levi never makes anyone tea, you’re the first one. like ever” oluo said, nudging you on the side as you looked at them.

“maybe he’s just being-“ you started but eld and gunther cut you off.

“no. captain levi treats you differently” eld said as gunther nodded profusely in agreement.

“he’s more soft with you. captain levi has a crush on you” gunther said as you helplessly looked at eren, in hopes that he would say otherwise. everyone else looked at him, waiting for his stand on the ongoing debate on whether or not levi has a crush on you.

“captain levi has a crush on you” eren declared as everyone cheered. you hid your face in your hands, your cheeks blushing a soft shade of pink.

“alright, alright! that’s enough, captain levi doesn’t have a crush on me. maybe he’s just being a gentleman” you defended, shrugging your shoulders as everyone whined at your comment.

“captain levi has a crush on you!” everyone said at the same time and before you could react, a voice spoke up from behind you.

“i have a crush on who?” levi said, eyeing his subordinates as they sat down and cleared their throats as if nothing happened.

“nothing, captain!” petra said, nervously sipping on her tea as levi scoffed and took his seat next to you again. you glanced at him, silently thanking him for saving you from the situation with his subordinates as he subtly brushed his hand against yours underneath the table.

the rest of the break was spent with random conversations being made here and there. mostly squad levi asking eren about his titan shifting abilities and if his classmates from the cadet corps were planning to join the survey corps.

“some of them plan to-“ eren said, suddenly freezing up mid sentence and making him drop his teaspoon in the process.

“are you okay?” eld asked as eren hummed in reply, standing up to pick up the teaspoon. you were taking a sip of your tea when everything happened so fast.

there was suddenly lightning and a strong gust of wind started to blow everyone away. you squealed, getting blown away by the wind and landing on the floor a few feet away.

“calm down. i said calm down, all of you” levi’s voice reached your ears as you looked up to see a half formed titan with eren’s arm connected to it. squad levi had their blades drawn, ready to attack at any given chance.

they started yelling questions at eren whilst levi tried to calm them down. hange and moblit came running from the forest as the spectacled section commander jumped in joy upon seeing eren’s titan form.

“eren! can i touch that arm? please, can i? pretty please, i just want to touch it!” hange exclaimed, her eyes widening in amusement as she walked towards the arm of the titan.

“hange, wait-“ eren started but hange already made contact with the titan as she jumped around from how hot the skin turned out to be.

your instincts immediately kicked in, rushing to her side to inspect the potential burn mark on her hand. you were about to put some cooling cream on her hand when she suddenly pulled it away from your grip, pointing at the disappearing titan in front of her.

“hold on, eren! that was too soon! i still wanted to study it!” hange exclaimed as eren was on the floor, catching his breath. you clicked your tongue, quickly putting some cooling cream on hange’s hand before rushing over to eren.

“how are you feeling?” you asked, kneeling down next to him as he barely managed to look at you.

“not very good” eren breathed out as you nodded, telling levi that a retreat back to the castle was necessary for the situation.

levi ordered everyone to go back to the castle as you sighed deeply, walking at the very back of the group. levi slowed down his pace and walked next to you, gently grabbing your right arm and lifted it up.

“you’re bleeding” levi said, showing you the rather deep cut on your arm as your eyes widened. you must’ve scratched yourself somewhere when you were getting blown away by the gust of wind earlier and you just didn’t realize it.

“i’ll be okay, nothing i can’t patch up” you said as levi nodded, walking towards the front again to lead the group.

once you got back, you immediately went to your makeshift office to patch up the wound on your arm. you were trying to clean it as best as you could when the door behind you opened and closed.

“here. let me help” levi said, turning you around and lifting you up to sit on the table. he grabbed the cotton ball from you and gently cleaned the deep wound.

“are you okay?” levi asked, looking at you with worry in his eyes as you nodded and smiled assuringly at him.

“i’m okay, my love. just a scratch” you said and levi pressed a kiss on your forehead. the both of you sat in comfortable silence as he began stitching up the wound and bandaged up your arm.

“all done” levi said, finishing up and discarding everything that he used before pressing another kiss on your forehead.

“thank you, levi” you said, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him in for a hug. he buried his face in your shoulder and took a deep sigh. you smiled softly and rubbed his back, feeling him relax under your touch and release all the stress and tension in his body.

“y/n, have you seen captain levi? we have to- oh” eld said, the door to your office opening all of a sudden as he cut himself off when he saw the sight in front of him.

“i-i-i’ll just- excuse me” eld quickly said, shutting the door behind him as the voices of levi’s squad can be heard from the other side.

“what happened?”

“did you find captain levi?”

“was y/n in there?”

“did she know where the captain went?”

levi sighed once again, untangling himself from you to open the door and explain what just happened to his squad.

“i’ll be right back” levi said, kissing you softly on the lips before opening and closing the door behind him to somehow hide you from the curious eyes outside. he was met by his squad, hange and moblit, along with the million questions they had.

“so, shorty, eld told us that he saw you doing… stuff with our assigned doctor” hange started, smirking and raising her eyebrows at him suggestively as he clicked his tongue in annoyance.

“i was helping y/n patch up the wound on her arm” levi said, his tone flat as if what he said was the most obvious thing in the entire world.

“and the hugging? or were you just helping with that too?” hange pushed, widening her eyes at the raven haired captain.

“we’re married” levi simply said, going back inside your office and closing the door. they all stood in front of the closed door, looking at each other.

“so, i guess that happened-” you started but was cut off when various squeals and excited screams erupted outside.

“i told you captain levi has a crush on y/n!”

“idiot! they’re already married!”

“petra, looks like you don’t have a chance with captain levi anymore”

“i don’t have a crush on him! i just admire him and his skills!”

you laughed silently at the commotion outside as levi rolled his eyes, shaking his head but the smile that was pulling at the corner of his lips gave him away.

[windupaidoneus]

havent put the phone down yet due to severe autism event lets set a scene

a title once born as a name, now discarded. what he once was, what he remained and endured beyond lifetimes, yet no longer. sudden. abrupt. a world left behind from one moment to the other, and at last his claws had stopped leaving their mark on the memory of it. free to be held tenderly or wander and vanish rather than being caged in the everlasting minds of those who had long sufficiently served their star, the memories of eld, although still most cherished, could find some manner of rest alongside them.

death. the bliss of letting go, finally within reach - and he'd achieved it, he'd lived death!

he found no bliss in it.

he was hades. all other names were pretense or play. hades lived a quite comfortable life nowadays, with little else to worry about. a small house in a quiet yet welcoming neighbourhood, the cold of ishgard barely noticeable thanks to the warmth of the few neighbours he'd managed to take a mild liking to. or... less than mild, but such things were not for him to admit. (and yet he would if prompted.) and of course, the life companion who'd so kindly granted him shelter... why, he was the radiant sun still, to hades. a shining light. a guiding star.

he took solace in the familiarity of it. after so long, it hadn't changed.

nothing could ever undo grief, but over time, it became more bearable. a once searing pain engulfing his whole being had become rather dull, though the pangs resurfaced every now and then. when they did, he would sometimes find the humility to hold onto that star. an implicit request for comfort, one the star was only too happy to fulfill - for the star mourned too, and so much of it the same people. the memories of eld roamed free, they did, and the both of them would contemplate as they passed over them as though northern ilsabardian lights in the night sky.

he was hades. all other names were pretense or play. sometimes both. the man never had an aversion to theatre after all! although his roles were not all so flattering, an unseeming sense of pride would wash over him at the thought. sometimes he still wore old monikers in private, for the sake of entertainment... of sorts. and well, to anyone he did not know he was simply aidoneus, the warrior's mysterious spouse. both pretense and play, it was. that one was certain. more controversial names did not find use all too often yet they found a way, whether he was prompted to narrate events from his own lives by a morbidly curious star or to simply play a role in some incomprehensible roleplay scenario often begun as part of a playful argument.

the emperor. the third seat. his most prized characters... though he was once them. but no longer, no longer.

he was... hades. all other names, pretense or play... sometimes both.

it became harder to tell the more he gave it thought.

few things were capable of instilling fear in him anymore. all the same, the warrior would find the mirrors of his home taken down or covered upon his return.

he was hades, and yet looking upon his reflection he sometimes believed otherwise. what did it mean, to be "hades"? he could scarcely recognise himself some days. and after all he hadn't known himself as hades for so long up until the moment of his death.

but hades was the best thing he could be. at times, he simply... wasn't.

he would act the part, of course. as always was his wont. when he felt like no one - like nothing was real least of all himself, he would still hold onto the light. he would still whisper teases, admonish him for not paying enough attention to him or himself, tell him he loved him. and without lying... but without really telling the truth either. if nothing felt real, nothing was "true"... or so he would argue.

but he wouldn't argue. he would not speak one word of it. speaking of the times he felt like no one would come with speaking of the times he felt like another.

he did not know whether he would ever be capable of facing this reality. one he longed to deny... and could not.

he knew better than to still look down on the people he would now call his peers. a non-issue often enough yet an insidious tug in his chest would drag down every now and then, and before his eyes would flash the people these neighbours once were. their colours. the memories of eld they unwittingly contained within them. it was no prison like the minds of those who held onto these memories so long ; these were of a more fleeting, ephemeral nature, and thus far more free... but they formed a cell of their own around the third seat. once revolting, they now merely taunted him, a reminder of his failures, of all he lost. of all he gave up on when hades' heart chose the sun over fading clouds.

he was not the third seat anymore yet sometimes he was. it had been him for so long, small wonder it had become part of his mind in the end... part of him. of his heart. but it was not a realisation he wanted to share or even think about. if he did, then he would have to look at the sun and acknowledge the bitterness still residing within him. within the third seat. within the man who once betrayed the sun, or so the sun sees it.

or so they both see it. the third seat was always a man of contradictory belief. vengeful, yet finding all the fault in himself. some things simply, truly never changed.

but the third seat was to be expected. it was something he accepted even, albeit quietly. dissociating himself from who he'd been for so long could only be so easy.

it was not the third seat in the mirror who prompted him to avoid his reflection.

the third seat... and the emperor. his most prized characters. and yet as he'd glazed vacantly over the despicable figure facing him he wished that, in even a single one of these damned roles he cherished so much from an actor and playwright's standpoint, he'd found it in himself to put an end to his own life.

yet death couldn't bring him atonement nor salvation. he knew, for he'd lived death, and had found no bliss in it.

the sun was not oblivious. the sun, himself comprised of a multitude of tiny stars, could notice the shifts. in attitude. in posture. in language.

he remained silent. after all, himself had never found the words for it either.

[sparkywrites25]

Hey! I saw you were taking requests for AOT? Could I get one with canon Levi(like his personality matches his in the show) where reader thinks he hates her and confesses their feelings but it turns out he feels the same?

I am so so sorry that this took so freaking long to do. So much for aiming to get a request done in a week. I forgot this was all the way back in April. Three months... yikes. I also started writing this a different way and it wasn't going so well so I restarted it and I feel like this turned out a lot better than the original. Anyway I hope you like it and thank you so much for requesting this.

Summary: Reader has to let her feelings out even if it'll hurt like hell.

Pairing: Levi x Reader

Taglist: @notgoodforlife @youre-ackermine @ladycheesington

Notes: If you like my work and want to see more then please join my taglist. Form is pinned on my blog.

Looking at the stars has always relaxed you. 

Ever since you were a child, you loved to take yourself out into the tiny backyard of your family’s home in Trost, and stare up at the dark heavens which twinkled with a million lights. Your face would light up in wonder each time; your mind already flying away, creating wonderful stories in your imagination about exploring that canvas of beauty. Your mother would find you lying on the ground, watching it all as if it would change before your eyes if you so much as turned away. She’d tease you about it. Later she would tell you how much it calmed you down whenever you threw a tantrum or were upset with one of your brothers. She would send you outside to look up at your favourite sight in the world. 

As you stand on the rooftop of Trost’s Scout base, staring up at those same stars, you realize that maybe she was encouraging you to learn about perspective. How different things can look if you see them from a different angle, or how seeing the same angle with different emotions can make things shift. Your hands are rough and marked by healing cuts from the latest expedition and the weeks of training before it. The price of being strong enough to survive yet another bloodbath. You don’t see the blood or feel the pain that you did at the time all of these marks were made. But they are the same hands, changing with your experiences and with time. It’s a scary thing to think about, change, or it can be a good thing.

You exhale softly and clasp your hands on the stone wall in front of you. You can think of one thing that hasn’t changed, you reflect, despite how many times you’ve stood here and how many different emotions you’ve carried up here all this time. You’re not sure if that is something that will ever change. Maybe it’s just something that you will have to live with, to accept just like these two remaining walls of humanity have accepted that these monsters are their past, present and future. 

It’s been three days since the latest expedition. A period of rest and mourning usually follows for a few days but in the winter it’s longer. As this is the last expedition before the heart of winter arrives, the commander has told everyone to take the week off from training. Some have taken leave to be with their families. Some are just recuperating here. For some, they will be taking terrible news to their families. For others, it’s all they can do to hold themselves together. 

Normally you’d be downstairs with your squad - the Special Operations Squad - talking and trying to find some normality and peace with your comrades. Listening to Petra and Oluo argue. Teasing Eld about his girlfriend. Trying to rattle Gunther into letting slip some tidbits about his personal life. Watching the Captain drink his tea and list everybody’s cleaning chores for the week. The thought of the captain has your nerves quivering with an intoxicating energy that both excites and frightens you. You’ve never felt this strongly about someone who wasn’t a friend or family. You may have no romantic experience - and in truth, until now, you had no interest in getting any - but you know how you feel. 

It’s a fucked up situation; you’ve been reminding yourself of this for weeks now. Training with him and trying not to get distracted by his impressive flexibility and efficient fighting style. You pretend to dread your one-on-ones with the captain in sparring. You pretend that you hate having him watching you train with the rest of the squad. You lie that he intimidates you, that you wouldn’t like to be hauled into his office for anything. All the while you like feeling his attention on you. You like the opportunity to remind him of why he chose you to join his squad. You like being near him and listening to him. You like cleaning his office and talking to him as you work. You love learning the occasional little snippet about him, about what he thinks, what he’s experienced. You like putting together the thousands of little pieces that make up Captain Levi. You take great pride in the fact that he called your tea-making abilities “good” and you have to fight a smile every time he comes over to correct your cleaning. 

Ordinarily you really enjoy the post-mission hangout of your squad too. Tonight, however, the thought of it chokes you. Tonight you’re feeling the weight of the veil you wear; this veil of professionalism, of platonic feeling and comradarie wraps tightly around you. The heaviness of it makes you feel dizzy and nauseous. Even up here, taking in gulps of cold, fresh air, you can feel the veil slipping away from you. With every conversation you have with your captain, you can feel the material sliding away and you have to pull it back. You have to remind yourself that professional boundaries exist and that the reality is extremely high that the captain does not share your feelings. You don’t think you’ve ever seen him show any kind of indication towards anyone. Maybe that’s just his way or maybe he’s just private. Not that it’s any of your business.

If anything, you think as you stare up at the stars, he seems completely disinclined towards even liking you let alone everyone else. He cuts conversation short whenever you’re alone together. Your cleaning irritates the hell out of him. Often it feels like he’s sharper with you than the others. He gives you the duties furthest away from him the most. Your favourite task of cleaning his office is one you’ve done the least out of your squad. He always looks at you with neutral eyes yet he engages with the rest of the squad fairly well. You can’t help but wonder if he regrets taking you into his squad. Maybe he has too much pride to just kick you out. Or maybe he’s just waiting for an excuse?

Thinking about all of this is giving you a headache and you rub at your temples with each of your index fingers. 

“Wanna explain why you’re hiding up here on your own?”

You’re startled into spinning round at the sudden sound of the captain’s voice. Your eyes dart towards the door and to the frowning man currently closing it behind him. Holy fuck, you didn’t even hear him approach, or the door open for that matter. The shame burns through you at once. You really should have been more alert even if it is Captain Levi who appears to have mastered the art of stealthy movements. A flicker of envy licks at the pit of your stomach. In all honesty, you can only dream of being that coordinated. 

The gentle wind that had been blowing through you for half an hour has brought some hair into your face. You reach up to tidy yourself up on instinct as you straighten up into a salute. The fist over your heart presses a bit heavier tonight and you try and push your earlier thoughts from your mind. With the man himself standing there though, this is difficult. 

“I just wanted some time alone, sir,” you answer hastily. It’s not a lie and it’s not an unrealistic answer either. It’s simple. 

The captain approaches you. You note that the circles under his eyes are looking dark again. You wonder that he doesn’t at least try and sleep during quieter periods like this. But then again, maybe he has. Maybe he knows a lost cause when he sees one. 

It must be nice to be able to move on from such things, you think bitterly as you can’t help contemplating your own feelings for him. If only you could leave them behind so you could just feel…  normal with him. That would be pretty nice. The world turns silent as you muse on this. You can no longer feel the wind on your face or the cold in your skin. Everything is muted and it’s not the worst feeling in the world. You stand in that numb state, battling your own thoughts. 

After a moment, you realize that the captain is now standing in front of you. His brow is rumpled with lines of deep annoyance and his narrow eyes are fixed on your face. His lips are moving but you can’t hear his words. He speaks slowly but you can’t read the shapes that he forms. So, you blink slowly and try to focus on him. As soon as you do, the world seems to wake up again. Cold touches your face and you can hear your own breathing that sounds heavy after the silence of a moment ago. 

“Sorry sir,” you manage to rasp. Your voice sounds closed up, like you’re about to cry and you hate it. “I didn’t hear what you said.”

“Really? I’m stood right here and you can’t hear me? You mean you weren’t listening.”

Your cheeks heat up and you consider arguing with him but instead you just bow your head and turn away from him. It’s easier not to look at the irritation he’s wearing or how beautiful his eyes are when they reflect the starlight. Instead, you reach out and hold onto the stone wall, grounding yourself to the moment. 

“Hey.” This time Levi’s voice is gentle. “What’s going on with you?” 

You shake your head because, honestly, you’re not so sure yourself. “I don’t know,” you admit quietly, still not looking at him. “That’s what I’m trying to figure out, I guess.”

To your right, you observe your captain as he steps up to the wall then turns his back to lean on it. He folds his arms and watches you, his gaze softening in a way you have never seen directed at you. You can’t stop yourself from staring back into those enchanting blue-grey orbs. “Petra would say that that would be easier to figure out if you were with us,” he remarked and gave a tiny shrug of his narrow shoulders. 

You manage a weak, crooked smile. “Yeah she would. But I… I don’t really want a group chat right now.”

“You should talk to someone.”

“I don’t think so. It won’t change anything,” you admit and you mentally curse yourself for letting slip even that much. 

“So you do know what’s bugging you.”

You sigh, feeling your patience begin to bleed out and you close your eyes. You remind yourself where you are and who you’re talking to. If this were one of your friends, you’d have snapped at them to leave you alone right now. But you can’t exactly do that with Levi, can you? But at the same time, you can feel this unpleasant feeling creeping over you. A feeling of edge, of broken glass, like you’ll go shooting off into a hundred sharp pieces if this feeling completes itself. Who knows what you might say or do if he doesn’t leave you be? What you might say if this feeling gets to take hold completely. You fix your eyes on the horizon, determined to avoid Levi’s gaze. Maybe if you stay quiet, he’ll just go away. He’s not the most sociable man. He’s not someone who seems all that comfortable with heavy displays or emotion or tolerance for awkward situations. Give it long enough and he might just leave you to it. 

You hear your name being spoken and you close your eyes. You love the sound of those syllables in his baritone voice. You hate that you like it so much. 

“Sir.” Once again you sound fragmented. “Please just leave me be.”

“No.” Levi’s quick answer surprises you and you turn your head slightly but not enough to look him fully in the eye. “Do I look stupid enough to just leave my comrade to it when they look like they’re about to jump off this fucking roof?”

Your eyes are blown wide as you finally meet his again then look to the horizon and then back to him in a rapid string of disbelief. “You think…” you begin to say then push yourself away from the edge and shake your head. “This isn’t…. It isn’t that. I’m not… I’m not depressed, Captain.” Your voice sounds strong, at least, as the words tumble out of you. “God, I don’t… I don’t feel like that. I… I wouldn’t be having this conversation with you if I wanted to…” You don’t even try and finish the sentence, wrapping your arms around yourself as you begin to walk around the rooftop. 

His footsteps barely sound against the stone as he follows you. “Then what’s going on?”

“It’s personal, sir. I don’t want to talk about it.”

“When personal gets shitty, it gets in the way of work.” Levi argues, “and then that shit puts your life in danger out in the field.”

You release a breath in a huff, tightening your arms around yourself as you feel your temper shooting up to the surface, burning its way through your nerves. Your self-reminders of who Levi is and of behaving yourself are falling quieter by comparison now. 

“You… can talk to me… if you want. Whatever helps you keep your head and keeps you alive.”

You should be appreciative of his words, of the discomfort you can hear when he delivers them. You don’t want to feel agitated with him. You wish you could swallow down your feelings and leave them be. Your captain is not a comforting man. He’s not someone whose natural instinct it is to mollycoddle and reassure. Yet he is trying to get through to you right now. The way he can. He has his own ways of getting through to people. But right now those ways are not what you need or want. But how do you tell him that without sounding like an ass?

He says your name again and your impatience and your temper spill over into each other. 

“It’s too painful, captain!” You snap at him as you turn on him. Your voice echoes across the rooftop as tears burn in the corners of your eyes. “It’s too painful to talk to you about this,” you spit out. As soon as the words escape you, you can feel your chest deflate even as the horror of what you’ve just said fills your cheeks and warms them up.

Fuck. 

Beat after beat of silence follow and with each second, you can feel your throat constricting with the burn of your admission. Regret pours through your veins like rain washes over leaves. It drenches you and the words hover in your mind, painful and clear. 

“Why?” Levi only speaks one word but the heaviness of it hangs in the air between you. He doesn’t need to elaborate and your original intention of bullshitting your way out of this is rapidly disappearing. With your admission out in the open, you can feel more rising up from your chest. You may as well keep going, you tell yourself. It’s got to come out now.

You turned your back on him and stare up at the stars again, your eyes seeking the comforting presence of those beautiful lights. 

A hand touches your arm, fingers cupping your elbow. It’s not a firm grip. You could pull away from him if you wanted to. But the intention is clear. Don’t run away. 

Yet even as you resign yourself to the confession, your body moves of its own accord. You step back, pulling your arm out of Levi’s reach. You turn further away from him, your torso twisting faster than your feet. The sudden turn and lack of coordination catches up with you in a second, and you overbalance. You land on your side, your hip taking the brunt of the fall. You curse quietly, scrunching up your face as pain and irritation battle across it. 

“Tch,” the captain’s voice is surprisingly tender as he kneels down beside you, lifting both of his thin eyebrows. “It’s a good thing you don’t get nervous on the battlefield,” he observes, “otherwise you’d be titan chow by now.”

You stare at him for a moment and then a small laugh bubbles out of you. Your nerves have always made you clumsy and it was something you were worried would stop you progressing in the Scouts. Yet here you are. 

“Yeah, a good thing,” you mutter and bow your head. You wish you could wake up from this. Somehow even burying these feelings seems like a better option than continuing this scene and yet there’s no avoiding it now. What needs to be said, must be said. You both have to move forward. Rip the bandage off, your mother would say if she was here. 

“What’s going on?” Levi asks, firmness entering his voice now. “Just say it, whatever it is. Then it’s done. You can’t hold onto it now. Not without it screwing you up.” 

You take it in with a deep breath. His words are surprisingly insightful and, in a way, they do make the prospect seem easier. But then you think about how you could be throwing this away, the ability to talk with your captain with a reasonable lack of awkwardness. Now there will be this thing hanging in the air above you, always. But maybe it’s a weight that can finally come away from your shoulders. You’ve begun to walk down this path and now you have to continue. 

“I…” the words jam in your throat and you scowl into the space next to Levi as frustration rattles your insides. Why can’t you just say it? You close your eyes and try and focus yourself. It’s some advice that one of your fellow cadets gave you years ago when you used to lose your temper over little matters. She taught you how to rein in some of your intensity. But thinking of her just reminds you of the last time you saw her, in the jaws of a 9-metre titan.

Levi says your name again and you’re pulled from your memory. It’s a relief, compared to the image that was taking clear form in your mind’s eye again. Compared to what Katya endured, you realize that you have to be able to say these words, to put to good use what she taught you. 

“I’m in love with you.” The jam in your throat fades and the words slip out as quickly as water. You even manage to raise your eyes to look into Levi’s. You stare into them once you do, caught off guard by what you see. 

You can see the surprise in his ever-so-slightly widened eyes and the barely noticeable slack in his jaw. But what really surprises you is the lack of judgment in his eyes. He doesn’t give you the look he normally gives you when he’s seriously considering your decisions - such as attempting to showcase your standard of cleaning as acceptable when he can still see dust on his bookshelves, when he eyes your lamentable folding and when there are still patches of dirt on the newly mopped floor. The you’re-killing-his soul narrowed eyes and thin, disapproving line of a mouth. You don’t see any of that. 

Instead he stares at you like you just appeared right in front of him, like you came out of nothing and he’s trying to wrap his head around how that’s possible. He looks beautiful like that, caught in wonder. You feel yourself begin to smile despite the surprise in your own chest filtering into a clawing sense of dread. 

Now for the rejection… the reprimand. 

Where you should stay quiet and delay the arrival of either of those things, you now find your voice returning to you. As though your brain has decided for you. To hell with this. I’m going to throw it out there. You swallow and you plant the tips of your fingers on the cold stone beneath you. 

“I know it’s unprofessional. You’re my commanding officer. We serve in the same team. It makes things awkward.” Your cheeks are searing with heat now. “I’m sorry for it but you’re right. I had to get it out. It’s eating away at me. I can’t afford to keep this to myself anymore. I-I’ll take whatever you say. I just… had to get it out.”

More silence. As the seconds pass, your stomach twists. You gaze expectantly into your captain’s face. Despite the open surprise, he’s still somewhat unreadable. You can’t see traces of anger, embarrassment or irritation in his expression. It gives you a flutter of hope that maybe this could be a bit less painful than you had expected it to be. 

“Huh,” Levi says after another minute or two. He lowers his gaze and you feel your stomach plummet along with it. 

“I’m sorry-” you begin to say just as he speaks. 

“So, I’m not the only idiot then.”

It’s your turn to look surprised. “What?” you squint and lean forwards a little.

Levi sighs and takes your elbows. He rises to his feet, taking you with him. You wobble a little when upright, just for a moment but he keeps a firm grip until you’re steady then he lets go. “I said I’m not the only idiot.”

“Why… why you be an idiot?” you repeat. Your brain feels too fogged up in confusion to pick out the meaning behind his words. It was so far from what you expected him to say. All the imaginary reprimands and rejections are still hovering around although they are retreating a little. 

He tilts his head, a slight smirk curving up one corner of his mouth. “Figure it out,” he answers and there’s an almost playful edge there. 

It takes an embarrassing number of seconds for the fog to lift and suddenly the impossible seems to manifest in front of you all at once. You feel your own jaw dropping and a tingling feeling sweep through your body at once. “You… feel the same?” you ask, not hiding the disbelief from your voice. “I don’t understand,” you admit.

Now Levi’s lips press together into that familiar frown that you were expecting before. “I do.” He answers as he folds his arms. “What’s hard to understand?”

“How can you return my feelings when you dislike me so much?” You blurt out. “It just…. It doesn’t make sense.”

“Come again?” comes the dry response. Levi’s brows knot together. “Who the fuck said I dislike you?”

“No one needed to!” you fire back, annoyed. “It’s pretty obvious that I annoy you. You seem to regret choosing me for your squad. You seem to hate me being close to you.” The instances roll through your head on a loop, firing up your words. It clouds over the part of you that is telling yourself to be careful of what you say to him. Because right now you have to get through this conversation, or rather, at this point, make sense of it.

Levi closes his eyes and brings a hand up to pinch between his brows. “And people tell me that I’m shit at reading people.”

You’ve always known that Levi has an audacious tongue but even so, you falter. “Excuse me?”

He lowers his hands to his hips and frowns at you although there is a softness to his eyes. “I don’t dislike you. I never have,” he admits. “Look, your cleaning is inconsistent and needs work at best, you never leave a tea to brew long enough before you start drinking it, you always get drawn into arguments with people especially Oluo, and you worry too much about shit that’s just not that important,” he tells you brusquely. “You’re shit at asking for help and you always take too much crap from other people.” 

You frown deeply and shake your head. “Where are you going with this-?”

“You’re also one of the best team players I’ve ever seen. You make sure a job gets done even if it’s not your turn. You back up your comrades in and out of missions. You’re a capable and talented soldier yet you don’t get cocky about it. You don’t whinge about this job. You give your heart to the Scouts.”

You can feel the blush in your cheeks spreading over your face. “That’s what we all have to do.”

“Not everyone does it. People are shitty and selfish.” Levi tells you. “But not you. You do your damn job and you take what comes. Why the fuck would you think I’d dislike that?”

You fidget from one foot to the other. “But you always act like… like I’m a pest.”

Levi looks away from you, his eyes rising up to the starry canvas above him. “I’m not Hange. I don’t wear everything on my fucking sleeve. I’m not Erwin either. I’m not someone who dazzles people with eloquence. But more importantly,” and his eyes shift back to you, “I’m your superior officer. Coming on to you… I’d look like a fucking creep.”

You bite your lip and step forward. “I wouldn’t think that. I would have… you know… I would have admitted it too.”

“And if you hadn’t returned my feelings?” Levi questions. “You could have reported me. You could have requested a transfer. I would have lost a very capable soldier from my squad,” he explains. “You said that I didn’t act like I liked you. You’re pretty damn capable of concealing things yourself.”

You step forward a little and a smile crosses your face, small and sheepish. “Okay, that’s fair. I-I could have maybe hinted or something but I really didn’t want to be reprimanded or embarrassed.”

“I wouldn’t punish you for having feelings,” Levi insists. “But they’d have to be kept in check especially on missions.”

“I know. I’ve seen them get people killed,” you assure him. “I guess we both decided it’d be safer to say nothing.”

“But something changed for you today,” Levi takes half a step towards you. “What happened?”

“Nothing in particular,” you admit, returning your attention to the horizon and wrapping your arms around yourself as you return to your spot by the wall. “But it’s tiring playing pretend.” You rest your arms on the wall and lean your chin on them with a heavy sigh. “I just had to let myself stop for a moment.”

Levi’s footsteps approach you but you don’t look around. The confession and this entire conversation is taking it out of you. On the one hand it’s going so much better than you expected and on the other hand, you feel like you’re walking on unknown territory, on ice where you don’t know if it’s stable or not. Trying to think over what that means is unsettling.

“What does this mean?” You decide to take the initiative. “We both had our reasons for keeping quiet. Now we’re here, I don’t know what happens now.”

“You think I do?” Levi steps up next to you and leaned his back against the wall. “I can’t offer you a safe life.” He tells you quietly. “I’m not going to quit the Survey Corps and go be a farmer or work in a shop. I’m not going to stop fighting the titans.”

“I wouldn’t ask you to,” you answer, turning your face and leaning your cheek on your arms. “I’m not walking away from this life, either. I’m good at what I do. Humanity needs you to fight for them. They need us to fight for them. I didn’t train for three years and witness all this death just to walk away and play it safe.”

Levi’s mouth twitched into a smile. “So we’re both sticking with this shitty life in the shitty military.”

You smile back at him. “Looks like it, captain.”

He turns around, leaning against the wall with his front and partway mirroring your folded arms on the wall. His gaze lingers on your face and you stare up at him. This time the silence is comfortable, filled with an unspoken agreement that things will be different now. The path ahead is no longer clouded with uncertainty and assumptions. You can see Levi clearly and he can see you. You know what you mean to each other now and your heart feels lighter for it. 

“I don’t know if I’m capable of being what you want,” he muses quietly but he’s leaning in towards you. 

You’re lifting your head towards his, your eyes dropping to his lips as you whisper back. “You’re already what I want. You always have been.”

“So are you,” he murmurs back and then his lips touch yours. It’s a soft press and for a few moments nothing happens. Uncertainty returns between the two of you. That and inexperienced curiosity. Your lips move first, against his and his match on instinct. You both slip into it as instinct takes over. 

Moonlight and starlight fall around you but for now those beautiful sights are relegated to being the background for something new and wonderful and unknown. Something that will bind you and your captain even closer together.

[astridthevalkyrie]

standing at the crossroads: chapter 9

Captain Levi is your lover. But more importantly, he’s your superior, and you’re well prepared to follow him to hell if he needs you to. And when people start turning into titans, and every bloody death is one step closer to the truth, hell may be exactly where you’re going.

Chapter 8 | Series Masterlist

taglist: will be added to reblog :)

chapter warnings: female!reader, character death, canon-typical violence

a/n: I love you all <33

Your eyes open.

You’re in a cart, and it’s dark.

It takes a few blinks for your sight to adjust to the darkness, and just another second for you to remember where you are. 

A warm hand lands on your head. “Easy,” Levi murmurs; you can hear the hooves of his horse alongside your own. “I hope you’re well rested. We’re almost there.”

Using the cover of the night, you bring his hand to your lips and kiss his knuckles before sitting up straight to tie your hair back up. Graciously, you’d chosen to be the last in the squad to sleep in the wagon for two or three hours, a luxury that until recently, had been nonexistent. Sleeping during expeditions? What about all the man-eating giants?

Well, thanks to Armin and Hange’s brilliance, that was no longer a problem. Hange had her amazing titan killing contraption that had been working day and night for a whole month, and Armin had provided the revolutionary idea to start the mission right as the sun was going down. 

You stretch your limbs out, flexing your fingers and wondering when you’ll see the city you never even got to visit before Wall Maria was taken. The one Ricky—a couple meters away, in conversation with one of the new recruits—had stolen from him. The one Gunther, Eld, Petra and Oluo, and countless others died trying to take back.

Taking a deep breath, you run your thumb over the bite mark on your hand, letting it harden your resolve. They got you here. You’ll honor that for the rest of your life.

Souls seem to speak through the wind. Quiet whispers that haunt the area, but bring it to life at the same time. A hushed tone, calling out welcome back, from the ones that were laid to rest here.

You’re shaking lightly. It takes a hand over your chest and another few deep breaths to stop. It seems like this is a winding road, easy to get lost on if the whole legion wasn’t here. It’s soothing that you’re not alone.

Once you hop out of the cart, you double check your ODM gear and make sure Horsey is alright, plucking a leaf from his back. Time to make the rounds.

(Before everyone left, Levi did give the squad a speech, then you gave a better one, but it doesn’t hurt to check in again.)

First you speak to Mikasa, then Sasha, then Connie, Armin, Jean, and finally, Eren.

“Hey, ace.” He doesn’t look to be startled, just a bit lost in thought. “How are you feeling?”

“Okay. Ready, I think.” Definitely not the word you would use based on how tense he looks, but sure. “I always knew I would take back my home, but now that it’s actually happening it feels…like I shouldn’t be here.”

Oh, you can relate all too well, considering you felt the same way back in Stohess. “Home is home, right? It may not be where we belong anymore, but where we’re from is always a part of us.” Placing your palm on his chest, you mimic breathing in and breathing out. Eren complies, but only for a second, clearly a little too stressed to be doing breathing exercises. 

“What if we fail again?” he whispers. You’re not sure you’re meant to hear it. 

Again, clearly referring to the 57th. It’s a good question.

You bite the inside of your cheek. “Try again tomorrow?”

Eren laughs softly, ducking his head. “Talking to you really clears my head, Lieutenant. You’re the best. Thank you.”

For some reason, that warms your cheeks. You’ve always been a bit susceptible to such sincere praise. With a warm hand on his back, you leave him be, and return back to Levi’s side. Wordlessly, he hands you Horsey’s reins, and you hop on his back, glancing down to where your captain is still on foot.

The lack of danger has relaxed even him. Not that you doubt he’d be able to slice the neck straight off any titan that decided to show up. It’s kind of nice, though, and you wonder if this is how expeditions will be once Wall Maria is taken back. Missions meant to explore rather than to fight. The pleasant smell of an early morning dew from a sun that has not yet risen.

And easy seconds to simply observe Levi. To watch him carefully scan the area and see the relief in his eyes when for once, there isn’t an actual threat. Then he shakes his head just a fraction of an inch, to snap himself out of it—no time for relief. And so he scans again.

Captain Levi, with his own little pattern. How adorable.

Taking care to keep quiet, you call out to him. “Levi.” When his head turns to answer, you quickly put on your most stern face. “Hey.”

His eyeroll accompanies your laugh. “Whatever happened to Expedition (F/N)?” he asks dryly.

Your mouth falls open as you whisper-cry, “You knew about that?”

The corners of his lips twitch. “I think the whole legion knew about that.”

Levi catches your hand mid-smack, then, almost naturally, kisses the back of your hand. From what you’ve read, the blushing maiden is usually not the one sitting astride the horse. Well, you’re not blushing, but still. What a state, to be flustered like this. You’re too old to be so easily wooed.

Unfortunately, your fairytale is rather rudely interrupted by the admittedly lovely sound of the river rushing, signaling that you have arrived. Just in time, as the sun begins to rise. Levi is on his horse in a second.

“All squads!” comes Commander Erwin’s booming command. “Move towards Shiganshina at full speed!”

Here you are. Six years after you’ve joined the military, and now you finally get to feast your eyes on the fabled city of Shiganshina. The ruined city of Shiganshina, in tatters. But if everyone could rebuild Trost and Stohess, then this city could prosper once more as well. You’ll work on the houses and place brick by brick yourself if you have to.

Charging into battle always has a certain romanticism to it—the halt of a clock as time freezes, the little breeze charging between your skin and the fabric of the uniform. They’re not tangible, but you feel these things in your bones as if they were sold along with the experience. Either that, or you have some weird attraction to adrenaline, which is entirely plausible.

Alarming, then, that everything and everyone seems to be moving in real time. Where is that cruel, romantic call to battle? Why does everything feel so serene, so…real? Is it just your mind playing tricks on you? 

Usually when you lean forward on your horse or any horse, you’re used to a number of alarm bells going off in your head. Now, you feel nothing but the pleasant air. It’s a good feeling, but incredibly jarring. And it’s concerning, because you have to focus. You’re outside the walls, much as the lack of titans keeps trying to fool you from the fact. A few meters or a few miles or maybe even a few footsteps away, the Armored, Colossal and Beast Titans are waiting patiently. 

A few months ago, you saw the Armored. In today’s best case scenario, you won’t have to see the others before they are swiftly dealt with in their human forms. But even that sounds…dark, at the very least. Back in your hometown, Annie Leonhart sleeps soundly (at least, you think she’s sleeping) and provides no answers. The commander has all but said that the only way to ensure victory today is to kill the enemy shifters, but then the question remains—who will actually provide the truth that the regiment has been searching for for a hundred years? 

Are all the eggs going to reside in the basket of Eren’s basement?

Thinking about that is not focusing, you decide firmly. As of right now, the main concern is surviving and winning, not figuring out all the whys of the universe. That is not your goal, and honestly never has been.

The answers you seek, what you would like to grab onto Annie Leonhart’s collar and scream, do not relate to how she became a titan and what her mission is. What you want to know is whether the mission was worth stomping out the lives of so many soldiers. If your friends were necessary sacrifices, or just collateral damage.

Whatever the answer is, that is the closure you really require. 

Which is why it’s perhaps a good thing that the rest of the Scouts will operate on a kill-first-check-basement-later basis. Should things be left up to you, you would show much more mercy to get the answers you seek.

Brandishing your swords, you place a soft kiss atop Horsey’s mane, quietly thanking him for riding into battle with you for so many years.

Then you stand, and at Levi’s signal, you jump.

All the Scouts, including many new recruits, fly into the air alongside you, swerving past houses. You dash your way to the front until you’re by Levi’s side, ducking under him as you approach the gaping hole in Wall Maria. It’s huge, something not even a giant boulder would necessarily be able to cover, but it’s okay, because Eren can do it, and he will. All of you will be at his side until he accomplishes what he came here to do.

You fly up, up, up until you’re at the top of the wall, and you land smoothly with the grand view of Shiganshina before you.

“Shit,” someone whispers. You turn and Ricky is next to you, looking a bit sick as he gazes upon the town. 

Slipping your hand in his, you raise up a flare gun and fire the first shot, signaling the operation has begun in earnest. “We’ll win today,” you promise him. He doesn’t look at you, only continues to look morosely upon his father and sister’s final resting place, but his shaky hand squeezes yours.

“Good luck, kid,” he finally manages, in a choked voice. “I’ll see you on the other side.”

Reaching up, you plant a kiss on his cheek. “See you then.” 

He runs off, and you leap in the opposite direction, scaling the wall with sharp eyes. No sign of sudden movement, and no abnormal titan to be found. It’s still only the sound of the wind and all the zipping from the ODM gear in your ears and nothing else.

Everything about your environment suggests a quietly abandoned town, when you know that is the furthest thing from the truth. This city was the first tragedy, the first real indication to everyone that this was not an unfortunate coincidence but an actual attack.

Even then, you could say that humanity was the victim. But now, with titan shifters and corrupt royal governments, the truth might be twisted enough to reveal that you did this to yourselves.

Again, you’re wildly off track. Your job today is to help Eren plug up the holes and then kill the enemies. A goal, one dimensional, as all things must be for war to flourish.

Sweet Rose—being a philosopher or an actor would have really suited you more. This is it, no more introspective thoughts until the battle is done and over with. 

A flash of green goes up. Hange. Landing next to Jean, you give him the go ahead and he fires one as well, followed by another a few soldiers down, and another. The final flash is by Eren himself, not from a flare gun but his transformation.

“I have a nasty feeling in my stomach,” Jean mutters, “like something is about to go wrong at any second. I’m being ridiculous, right?”

Your eyes stay on Eren’s titan form as he begins to glow blue, sealing up the wall. “Focus more on staying alert than feelings in your stomach.”

“Thanks,”  he responds grouchily. Only a few seconds later do you realize you’re slipping into old habits. Almost subconsciously, your body remembered that you’d been laughing moments before Gunther was killed.

But then, Jean had nothing to do with that. You’re assuming direct causation when you know the real answer is extremely unlucky correlation. And that…is still not what you should be thiking about right now.

Two flares confirm that one wall is sealed up. With that, you begin to run, keeping everything in your peripheral under close watch. There is only so much the Armored Titan and Colossal Titan will allow you to accomplish before intervening. You almost expect that they will come out from beneath your feet, crushing all the silly little human fools on top of them.

But they don’t. You’re still standing, still running. The way the straps from your gear dig into your thighs prove that fact. 

“Captain Levi.” The man turns to you, along with Hange. “No shifters in sight, sir.”

Hange is the one who answers. “Good. Doesn’t look like we have any titan spottings either.” 

She leaves to check on Eren, but Levi stays next to you, meeting your furrowed brows with his own demanding stare. “What is it?”

“Something is off.”

“I know. Keep your eyes open. Hey.” He tugs your hood down just slightly more. “I know that look. If something happens, you don’t hesitate.”

Levi never beats around the bush. You admire him for it. “Yes, sir.”

The two of you follow the other soldiers as they start to run. A part of you wants to shed your cloak, if only to draw the enemy out, to shout here I am! come get me! because maybe that would be better than this creeping suspense that keeps building. 

When you switch back to ODM gear, zooming across the wall, it’s only a glance at Levi’s set expression that you need to continue. He’s still here. His judgment is sound where yours isn’t, and vice versa. As long as you remain by his side, things will make sense.

A flash is heard, and when you look up there is red smoke.

“That’s the signal to halt the mission!”

“Everyone, scatter and stand by on top of the wall!” Hange shouts. Levi is already moving up, and you’re right behind him. 

“My squad, with me!” he orders. “Move towards Erwin!”

Mild suspense rears into ugly anxiety. Something has gone wrong. But you don’t worry, not yet. Levi may be the captain, but you are still the lieutenant that follows his orders quickly and efficiently. 

“What are they doing?” It seems like some soldiers have begun to lower themselves off the wall, slowly making their way down. 

“Searching,” the commander answers for you as you land next to him. “Arlert has proposed a theory—that Reiner, Bertholdt, or one of their allies is hiding inside the wall.”

“Inside?” Your brows furrow. “Oh! The titan in Stohess—“

“Precisely. Levi. (F/N). I want both of you at the edge.” Be ready, is the nonverbal demand. 

You obey, looking down with your swords out. Swallowing slightly at the number of soldiers in such a vulnerable position, you call out to Armin. 

“Hey!” When he looks up, you mouth at him, not wanting to get loud just in case his theory is correct as per usual.

Good strategy. Don’t get too close.

Armin nods at you, mouthing back. I won’t.

Before you can even think of mouthing something back, the soldier next to Armin yells. “Right here! This part of the wall is hollow!”

That’s the last thing he says before a sword is run through his chest.

In the time it takes for you to gasp, even in the second that your mouth is opening, before a single sound can escape your throat at the cruel, bloody murder, Levi is already moving. Reiner Braun jumps out of the wall, his sword stained with the soldier’s blood, the first enemy exposed.

And by the time you actually gasp, Levi’s sword is lodged in Reiner’s neck. 

“Captain!” you shriek, jumping without thinking. Instinct hooks your wires into the wall as you drop, but Levi is flying up already, furious. 

“Shit!”

“Captain?”

“What are these guys made of? A blade to the neck and the bastard still won’t die!”

A blinding light shoves you back, and it’s all you can do to hold Armin against the wall. In just a few seconds, you are face to face with the Armored Titan, a much closer, much more terrifying proximity than last time. 

“Move up!” you order Armin. “To the top of the wall!”

He flies out of your sight and you dig your sword in next to Levi. “Any chance he’ll die in there? You hit him in the neck, right?”

“I didn’t get the nape.” His teeth are bared, wild anger in his pupils. Despite moving faster than anyone else, even he couldn’t get the drop on the titan. “I hit him in the chest too, but he’ll heal.”

Unlike the soldier he stabbed. You feel a jolt of anger too, but there’s no way to engage from this position. One hit and your blades will shatter.

“Keep your eyes open!” you hear Erwin shout from above. “We still need to find his allies!”

There’s a crackle, and then—

Several crackles.

The next thing you know, Erwin is screaming something else.

“Incoming boulder! Get down!”

Levi grabs you by the cape, securing you to him as the whole wall shakes. Screams litter the air and your alarmed eyes meet his. Smoke rises up, getting in your eyes.

Fuck. They blocked the entrance.

You move up with the smoke, coughing as you land by the others. Levi is next to you in an instant, glaring down the source of the boulder, a large, hairy titan standing in the middle of an army of them.

There he is.

Mike Squad’s killer. The bout of fury you feel is unmatched, knowing how different the odds are without some of the best soldiers in the Corp standing by your side. There are at least twenty large titans on each side of him.

“Commander,” your captain says, “he’s about to climb.”

This seems as good a time as any to bear forward Hange’s most brilliant invention. Strapping a Thunderspear on, you step up to the edge, moving your elbow back right as the Armored Titan grips onto the wall. He’s going to try and get to Eren, but you’ll make sure he doesn’t. A classic game of cat and mouse, except this time, the titan will play the mouse for once.

It won’t be the cat that gets blown to smithereens.

All you need is the command, but instead of that you hear something else entirely.

The next thing you know, several small titans are charging towards the wall at full speed.

Something strikes you in the chest, puncturing your heart in horror. The horses.

“Sir? What now? The Armored Titan is almost up! Bertholdt hasn’t shown yet, but he must be nearby!” 

“Yes, I’m well aware.” Erwin hasn’t moved, hasn’t said anything, he only stares down the Beast Titan and you think his mind must be going a mile a minute. If he doesn’t act soon, this is going to be a bloodbath. 

But even if he does act soon, the bloodbath isn’t off the table. They’re attacking on both sides, leaving no time for anyone to strategize.

“Let me blow him to pieces,” you growl, “Either of them. We blow up the nape and they’re ours for the taking.”

“No need,” comes the order, finally. “Dirk Squad, and Marlene Squad too! Join Klaus Squad and Belle Squad and protect the horses at the gate! Levi Squad and Hange Squad, I need you to take down the Armored Titan!”

Oh, you’ll gladly do that.

“Deploy the Thunderspears at your own discretion! Do whatever it takes to achieve your objective! This is our moment! Our chance to strike! The fate of humankind depends on this battle! Lay down your heart and lives, one final time, for humanity!”

He’s met with the chilling cries of at least a hundred people shouting, “Yes, sir!”

Your voice is among them. For the very first time, Erwin’s words strike you the same way Shadis’ words had the day Wall Maria fell.

It’s been five years.

It’s time to end this. It lies in your hands. All your hands.

“Hey, hold on, you three.” Right before you can jump off the wall, the commander halts you. “Hange can lead both your squads. I’m gonna need you right here, Levi.”

That doesn’t make sense—for one, Eren is the most valuable asset and should have Levi protecting him, and second, even if he’s needed on the other side of the wall, why would you not go with the rest of the squad?

“So I’ll protect the horses instead of Eren?”

“That’s right. And when the chance arises, you’ll strike him down.” A sharp blade is pointed in the direction of the leader of the pack, who is still sitting, watching, waiting. “You’re the only soldier I can trust to dispatch the Beast Titan.” Without even moving his head, Erwin’s gaze falls behind Levi, to you. “We have to kill him, one way or another.”

Should the Beast catch on, his eyes read, you will make sure he still gets there.

“Understood, sir. I wasn’t fast enough to finish off the Armored one earlier, but I’ll atone for that by taking the Beast Titan’s head. Lieutenant, with me.” Levi gives Erwin a meaningful look before jumping off the wall.

You squeeze Armin’s shoulder once more, then follow.

The second your feet touch the ground, Levi doesn’t waste any time. “We have to spread out. Some of the horses getting killed will still be a better outcome than all of them biting the dust. I’m going to go back up the other squads. You guide the recruits through, we don’t need any more meaningless deaths.”

All deaths seem meaningless, something you and Levi agree on. It’s a good way of telling you not to let anyone die. 

“Yes, sir.” You’re up in the air again, quickly finding a rooftop to scour the grounds from. If only this fight was in an area you were familiar with, or had even seen before. Wall Maria is a mystery, a mystery you have no time to unravel.

Turning your head this way and that, you compare. The recruits have already scattered, either because of orders or their own fear, but the reason is irrelevant. The largest group is uncomfortably close to the incoming onslaught of titans.

Maria, you hate titans, even if that’s not politically correct to do anymore.

Flying towards them at full speed, you land right before they turn the corner, right as one of the titans does. 

“Go back!” you roar. “Do not engage unless you have to!” 

One of them squeaks, but your swords have been out, and as the titan reaches out, you turn on your heel and slice its fingers off. “Go,” you snarl, not a fan of repeating yourself in this situation, “go!”

And once you hear the hooves fading away, you’re free to dance. 

Battle has always been like ballet. Your body moves the same way it did in your lessons. The same moves too—plier, glisser, sauter. In fact, if the titan wasn’t here, you’d look like you were putting on a silent performance for a silent audience. Your least favorite kind, what was the point of those recitals without applause?

At least this time, when you jump, spin, and cut open a titan’s nape, you have the spatter of its blood on your cape as the cry for an encore. An encore the crowd wants, an encore they shall get.

The recruits should have run, but the titans must be scattering now as well, so you give chase after them. Most of the senior Scouts are in the air, but they’re so preoccupied with keeping the titans at bay that they’re not able to handle the ones that have already started to go in deeper.

Finally, you catch up with the recruits from earlier. “Too many of you are here together. I see Sonia over there on that roof, three of you move towards her. And you two come with me. Quickly!”

One of the boys you have follow you is Marlowe, one of the MPs who had helped when the Scouts were being hunted by the government. The other is a redhead, who you don’t recognize and who has more sweat on his face than his horse has fur on his mane.

“Let’s be smart now.” Discarding one of your blades that has turned dull and brandishing a new one, you motion for the boys to do the same. “I know you need a hand free for the horses, but keep at least one sword out or you’ll die.”

Necessary fear mongering, unfortunately. Your orders were to keep them alive, and when everyone is safe you can concern yourself with keeping them happy.

Smaller titans are easier to fight, but they don’t make as much noise clambering around, so you don’t know one is there until it’s on top of you. As you lead the boys through the town, you pray that the Scouts deal with the titans before everyone gets cornered. There’s a number of surprise attacks, but nothing that either you or one of the other members isn’t able to take care of. 

Until—

Goddammit.

You almost knock the wind out of Marlowe when you pin him and the redhead both to the wall before they can advance. The boys are louder than the horses—you wince before peering over the side again. 

Three staggering titans clamber aimlessly towards where you’re standing. They’ll be upon you in a minute, and even if you could take them out one by one, there’s no way at least one of the boys won’t get grabbed while you’re occupied. 

“Back the other way,” you hiss, but the three of you freeze again, seeing two walking from that direction as well. They’d been hot on your trail the whole time.

Shit, cornered exactly as you’d predicted. Hadn’t your grandmother suggested naming you Cassandra? Fucking gift of prophecy did little to help you now.

“What do we do?” the redhead whispers in terror, petrified. “Marlowe?”

“I—” Marlowe swallows, calmer than his comrade but still looking like flames were creeping up his skin. “I don’t know.”

“Listen to me.” You point your blade straight ahead. “Don’t turn, don’t take any detours. Both of you will go straight through with the horses. Run as fast as you can.”

“When they see us, they’ll break out into a run too!”

“You’ll let me handle that. Boys,” you order firmly. “It’s not a request. Go before we all get eaten.”

Marlowe takes a staggering breath, nodding. “Yes, sir. Come on,” he nudges the redhead forward. “Let’s go.”

With a single whimper heard, they run. 

And just as the redhead said, all three titans give chase.

The second they’d taken a step out, you’d flown up high onto the roof. One of them screams, but you do your best to ignore it, because this needs to be timed perfectly.

They have to go after them. They have to get close.

Wisps of hair brush to the left as the titans rush past you, and that’s when you jump again, diving past the first two and straight towards the one that’s already reaching an arm out to grab them. Your feet plant on the titan’s back, and you need both of your swords to make a clean cut straight across the nape, sending the titan barreling down to the ground on its stomach.

You stand on top of it, victorious. 

The redhead’s eyes are wide in awe as the other two titans barrel forward, both stumbling on the corpse of the first one. Using a trick you learned from Levi after much begging, you hook one of your wires into the wall and propel towards the other side, capturing the titan’s neck in your wire. A spin then gets you close to dig your blades into this one too.

Its body tumbles sideways, full on crashing into the third, which collapses front facing as well. With such an inviting opening, you jump from the falling body onto the already fallen, and with one sword this time, easily kill the final one.

Just like that, they’re dead and acting as a blockade for the other two.

“Lieutenant,” Marlowe manages to get out, “You…that was…”

“The titans have size on us.” Urging the horses forward, you motion for them to make for an opening. “We have brains on them. If you can remember that, we’ll survive this.”

Just then, as if to taunt you, a loud boom shakes the entire ground, and all three of your heads snap to the wall. A flash of light and an explosion light up the sky, sending everyone reeling back. Your chest lurches.

It must be the Colossal. Nothing else could have made that much of a blast. 

With that, you bark at the recruits to go towards the other Scouts, zipping off without listening to any protests. Orders could change now that another titan’s on the other side of the wall. You hope the squads have taken care of the Armored by now, but if they haven’t, if they are now fighting the Colossal as well, they will need immediate backup.

From so far down below, you can still see the commander, whose back is turned towards Shiganshina. Going all the way towards him will consume too much time, so instead you fly towards where you see Levi, landing on the roof in front of him, with a vantage of the Beast Titan in front of you.

“You saw that, right? What should we do?”

“Hange and the others might have taken a hit.” Levi’s glare settles over your shoulder. “Hold down the fort here, I need to go on the other side of the—”

Something catches your eye. The Beast Titan has been mostly still thus far, but his arm moves, almost in a flash.

At first, you think he’s thrown another large boulder, but you don’t see anything.

Until you see many, many…

Many somethings.

With a gasp, you whirl Levi around by the shoulders, right as something sharp cuts your cheek. A drop of your blood lands on his cheek too.

For a split second both of you stare at each other, equally wide-eyed.

Then, his nails dig into your back and he crushes you against his chest as screams erupt in every direction.

Over his uniform, Levi’s heart pounds. Or, maybe, that’s your own heart, thrumming in beat with the sound of the drums. The drums? Of battle?

In the manner of a blushing bride, you pull away from Levi to turn your head over your shoulder, only to be greeted by dark, dripping crimson. Crimson like the corner spots of the beds in the hospital wing. Crimson like the taste of fresh scars on skin. Crimson like the color that dirties white bandages and orange uniforms every time without fail.

Beautiful red crimson stains the grass. Everywhere you look, everywhere there was a soldier standing, there is now only crimson—crimson—blood.

Unable to speak properly, your voice catches in your throat. “Cap…tain…”

Through the crimson mist, you see the Beast Titan’s arm move again.

“No!” you shriek frantically, jumping off the roof. “Fall back!”

Erwin’s scream tears through your ears. “Frontal bombardment! All troops, take cover now!”

“Get down!” Levi roars.

None of these words do anything to stop the assault. That hairy arm reels back, and a heavy foot steps forward.

Flying straight into the hazy red cloud, you spot banana blonde right away. His cloak is splattered with both fading and unfading blood.

Your best friend doesn’t see the rocks coming as he herds people back.

“Ricky!” He doesn’t hear your screech, even as you’re diving down. 

Something tears into your left arm the second you tackle him behind one of the houses, both of you hitting the ground hard. Your cry of pain doesn’t even reach your own ears, drowned out by the second wave of casualties. 

He’s holding you so tightly you can’t breathe, but for all you know it’s the panic that’s choking you instead. You’re squeezing him just as tight, not even swallowing as structures break on every corner.

It’s as though cannon fire is exploding around you, as though the screams are puncturing your eardrums, as though you can taste the metallic flavor of blood on your tongue. You’ve been in plenty of war zones, but never have you witnessed destruction on a level like this. 

“(F/N), the recruits,” Ricky gasps, the trepidation dawning on his face, “we have to get them back—shit, your arm—”

“I’m fine.” There’s no time to think, you don’t know when the next attack will be. You tear a piece of your cape off as you stand, tying it firmly around the cut. “We gotta go. We gotta go!”

“I know, I know. This way.” An underlying panic laces his words, but you two run on adrenaline alone, shoving any of the remaining soldiers back as well, most of them new recruits. Dead bodies whose pulses you don’t even need to check are strewn everywhere, faces of friends and comrades who you have known for years. The initial panic bleeds into a hot, bubbling, terrifying realization.

You understand now. This isn’t going to be a battle, no. 

It’ll be a massacre. It already is. The Beast Titan intends to destroy the Survey Corp right here and right now. 

But you’re not dead yet. Against all odds, you’re still standing, despite titans and titan shifters and giant boulders’ best efforts. You’re running, Ricky is running, alongside the other survivors, everyone spreading like a wildfire. And as long as you’re alive, you’ll do what you do best and preserve every life the enemy wants to snuff out. Starting with the redheaded boy you met earlier, who you see up ahead is screaming in place on the ground, with Levi snarling at him. 

“You wanna die!? Get up!”

“I’ll take him,” you say, right as Commander Erwin comes down from the wall. 

Levi’s gaze falls down to your arm, his face hardens, and then he turns around without another word. 

A strange, completely ridiculous time to feel such a rush of appreciation that he knows what the priority is, but there it is anyway. The rush of the fight is keeping your arm from stinging too badly anyways, so it’s truly the farthest thing from your mind right now.

The first thing is to get this recruit to safety. 

“Come on, kid, we have to move.” The boy doesn’t twitch so much as a muscle. “Now!”

Even though he opens his mouth, no words come out. His face is soaked with tears, and your first instinct is to snap at him that if he wants to die, you have no problem leaving him here.

Your hand shakes. On the other side of the wall, there was an explosion. If Jean was caught in that explosion, then the last thing he’d have heard you say was a reprimand.

Your knees hit the ground as a fresh wave of rocks shake the ground. Pained, you realize that anything left of the Survey Corp is behind you, because there is no one left. Your comrades. Your friends. All gone, gone, gone.

Gripping his shoulders, you force the kid to look up. “What’s your name?” you muster in the least shaky voice you can.

He swallows, looking straight at you, trembling even with your hold on him. After a long, long second, he forces out, “Floch.”

“Do you want to win, Floch?”

It barely seems like he’s in the moment with you. “W-what?”

“Do you want to win?” One jerk of a head is hardly a nod, but you take it as such anyways. Anything to make him move, anything to keep him alive. “You won’t win sitting here, I promise you. No matter what, you’ll have to move if you want to win. I can’t say for sure if we’ll have a victory, but we will have a defeat if we keep sitting here. And until you get up, I won’t get up either. So either we both move, or we both lose.” Faintly, someone screams. “It’s your choice.”

Red pebbles roll over by your feet from the latest blow. The Beast Titan has no disadvantage. If he wants to, he can walk a bit closer, and make sure there isn’t a single building or person left undecimated.

There’s too much at stake for you to die here. But still, you hold the crying kid up, gently whispering come on, come on floch, let’s go until finally, he wipes his tears with the back of his hand, even as more pour down. Then he stands, allowing you to pull him up, before joining the others with a bowed head, clenched fists and no words left to hide behind. As though to stop the tears, his eyes are squeezed shut.

Even if you close your eyes, you can't ignore the stench of death in the air.

Ricky catches your hand in his, shaking his head at the despairing question in your eyes. “It’s bad,” he says, gaze turning from you to the proud beast beyond, “the commander says the colossal might have taken out Hange and Levi Squad. Everyone, get down!”

You duck, barely, but none of the rocks hit this time. The way your hand is shaking, making the Thunderspear on your right arm go clack, clack, clack against your gear keeps you in the present, but only to fantasize about putting the spear through the Beast Titan’s nape. Your left arm stings, dirtying the cloth you’ve wrapped around it. 

There’s another crash, but this one doesn’t come from the boulders. In horror, you look up to see Eren…or more accurately Eren’s titan, sprawled on top of Wall Maria. 

Maria.

They have the Scouts cornered. Only the Colossal could have thrown Eren like that, meaning that both sides are equally lost.

Weakly, you stagger back. Is this it? The end of humanity? After the Beast Titan kills you and Ricky, will it move all the way to Sina, and take Millie’s life too?

Just to mock you, more jagged rocks hit the houses, bringing down another set closer and closer to the Corp.

The redhead, Floch, is screaming something. It reaches your ears, but bounces off, fading to nothingness as you look at the battlefield. It’s been leveled, only a few more kilometers left before there is no cover, before everyone dies. Even if everyone scaled the walls, the Colossal would either crush them or burn them, or both. Now more than ever, death looms on every path. No escape. No maneuver.

And some people would say it was worth it. For the truth, for freedom, any price can be paid. You were content with your freedom atop the wall, where most titans couldn’t reach, where you could see vast lands and wave to smiling people starting their days in the bare cracks of morning. Freedom was leaving Stohess. Freedom was letting go of your selfishness. Freedom was falling in love.

Wouldn’t you get bored? you ask yourself in a voice that sounds like your mother’s, but the question is met with a swift answer. Not with him. It would have been enough. By his side? It would have always been enough. You’d never be bored. 

Well, you’re by his side now. You’re definitely not bored. And you already achieved freedom. So really, there’s nothing else left to do but return to where you belong. 

Even now, you seem to be more focused on your thoughts rather than the fight. You want to wonder if that’s a good thing, but that would only be adding to the point. 

“I’m gonna go after the Beast Titan,” Levi is saying when you step next to him, “I’ll draw him away somehow and—”

“You can’t,” Erwin cuts in, so your protest dies on your tongue, “you won’t even make it near him.”

“Probably not. But, if you and Eren make it home alive…all things considered, I feel like it’s the best we can ask for. We’ve been brutalized.” He meets your eyes, broken but honest grays pouring into you. “To be honest, sir,” referring to Erwin but directed at you, “it seems like this battle will be where the Scout Regiment gets finished off.”

Till the end, (F/N)?

It would be so inappropriate to give him a last kiss.

Till the end, Levi.

But before either of you can make any more death pacts, Erwin hums, “Yes, if we had no way to fight back then you would be right.”

Both your heads sharply turn at the same time, and Levi questions disbelievingly, as though he thinks Erwin would ever lie to him, “Is there a way?”

“There is.”

Normally, at least a bead of relief would blossom in your heart, but not after the 57th expedition. Not after Stohess and not after you abandoned your best friend to save the man. If Erwin does have a way out of this, it will not be an easy way out, or even just a difficult one. His form of winning will be just as brutal as losing, you’ve learned. Even a victory will feel like a loss, like winning by dancing with the devil.

“The plan could go a few ways. Best case, you’ll have a decent chance of killing the Beast Titan. But for it to succeed, the recruits and I have to die.”

Never, never in a million years, did you predict the devil would be offering himself up on a silver platter.

“The Survey Corp may survive,” he continues, “but regardless, most of us will end up dead. Frankly, we’re almost guaranteed to be defeated no matter what.”

“So you’re giving up?” you ask incredulously. “We have other options! Why do you always resort to killing kids?”

Erwin has never responded to your jibes in a satisfying way. He either made you feel belittled by either not addressing you purposefully or leaving you out of his tight-knit group of friends, or he just ignored you, in a way demonstrating how little you mattered to him. It was so unlike Levi back in the day, who’d at the very least punished you for insubordination when he pleased. And you didn’t really care to pursue a plan to get a reaction out of him like you did with Levi before, but now, you wish he’d scold you. You wish he’d scream at you, even strike you down.

Anything other than a slight smile and a humorless chuckle. “Old habits die hard, I’m afraid.”

“So…so…” The words struggle to form. “Captain Levi kills the Beast Titan and the rest of just…just lay down and die?”

It’s cruel. Cruel beyond imagination. And even if it’s poor form to worry about those who will survive instead of those who’ll die, the thought of Levi, all alone even in victory makes you want to break down just like the houses and children surrounding you.

Erwin hesitates, then adds, “You’ll go with Levi.”

An uncomfortable, pregnant pause falls over all three of you. Your captain is the first to break it.

“Erwin—”

“Is this you being nice?” You almost want to scream too little, too late. “Some last merciful act?”

Your title as lieutenant and his as commander doesn’t even matter anymore. The Corp is dead. As far as you care, you’re ranked just as highly as Erwin now.

“I wish it could be.” With a tired, aged gesture, he points towards the Beast. “Arlert made a good point earlier. The reason the enemy keeps winning is because they simply know more about titans than we do. Something unexpected could happen even if Levi does sneak up on the bastard. Frankly put,” and you’ve never seen him look so unspeakably sorry about something in all the time you’ve known him, “I need a safety net.”

Well, at least he’s honest about his intentions. “You’re shitty,” Levi informs him in a tone of voice that sounds flat, but his jaw is set furiously. There’s no bite in his words, nor do you want there to be. Neither of you are angry about these orders. For once, you both feel the same thing towards Erwin, this consuming betrayal that he would do this to himself now, when the world still needs him. Levi still needs him—does he not know why Levi fights?

Of course he knows. The amount of possibilities running through his head isn’t matched by any other. If this is the plan he’s suggesting, that means he’s weighed all others and seen inevitable defeat. You’ve seen Erwin be a lot of things, proud and ruthless and cunning, but you’ve never seen him be wrong.

You scoff. “So I go with him, and the rest die. You, a-and the recruits, and—”

“And me,” a voice says softly from behind you. You know that voice, you’ve known that voice longer than you’ve known anyone else’s voice here.

In a manner so vulnerable that it’d be far better suited for a girl ten years your junior, you turn. For a fleeting second, you’re young again. In the barracks. Out in the field sparring. At the top of a snowy mountain, with a hand not warming you up but freezing you even more. Unable to control your laugh because his own is the most contagious one you’ve ever heard. How many hours have you wasted away with that voice? 

You joined the Survey Corp, that should be enough to prepare you for the cold hard facts—no one is safe. Not your squad, not Stephen, not even the commander himself. Not you. There isn’t any evidence, nor any reason, for you to believe that he would live. You’ve considered his death so many times, almost seen it happen even more times than that. It’s plagued your nightmares moreso than anyone else’s demise has. And why? Maybe because his banana-colored hair would look the worst matted with blood. Maybe because you learned to laugh again by his side. Maybe because he’s your best friend.

It’s simply impossible to keep the tremor out of your voice. “Ricky,” you choke out, voice cracking as your throat closes up.

“Hey, hey, what’s that face, kid?” He cups your cheeks in his hands, like life hasn’t completely screwed him over. He kisses your forehead, nodding at the captain and commander behind you, and you hear them walk off, talking in quiet voices. Discussing the plan, the plan, the plan to kill everyone. “You’re not gonna get all weepy for a peasant, are you?”

“I can’t,” you beg, as he pulls you into a weak hug, so unlike his usual tight embraces. Your fist clutches the back of his uniform. Above him, dozens and dozens of rocks strike the wall, trickling down like nothing. “I don’t want you to go. Not you, Ricky, please.”

Almost every friend you’ve lost in the Scouts has been taken from you suddenly, no chance given to say goodbye. You wonder if that was the universe’s way of being merciful, rescuing you from this destroying experience of knowing what’s coming and not being able to do anything to stop it. But acknowledging that would mean giving some credit to the universe, and you’d rather stand in the line of fire than do that. The universe didn’t have to force Ricky Belle to grow up in a world like this. 

He’s so peaceful now. Ricky was always emotional, crying at every death, wetting your uniform with his tears every time someone he so much as interacted with once got killed. But now, faced with the prospect of his own finality, his eyes aren’t even wet. You hate it—maturity shouldn’t mean that suddenly he greets death like an old lover. Wait until Lily sees this, you think, spitefully.

“Come on, twerp, what are my options?” Pulling back with his arms still around you, Ricky grins. “It’s either the rocks or thirdwheeling with you two lovebirds. You know I can’t be there when the heat of the battle has you two ripping each others’ clothes off right there on the grass.”

“That’s disgusting,” but a pained laugh escapes you anyway, somehow, even though the motion hurts your chest. “Ricky, what, what am I going to tell Millie?”

“Same thing I’ll tell Stephen.” He tucks a stray hair behind your ear. “That it’s been fun, but it’s time to go. At least I won’t be, uh, how did you say it, titan chow, right?”

Stephen. Ricky and Stephen. Stephen and Ricky. Your boys. Your friends. Your family. Half the reason you were in the Scouts in the first place. With both of them gone, what—what—what is the point? If Levi takes down the Beast Titan, there will still be nothing left back home. The people who deserved to see a bright future the most were snuffed out before they even caught a glimpse.

“I was supposed to protect you,” you stress. Ricky isn’t even shaking. “I can’t just let you go.”

The corners of his lips quirk upwards. “It was pretty easy for you before.”

You go rigid, eyes widening and mouth falling open. You meet his gaze, shaking your head desperately, as though to deny him. To pretend like you never abandoned him, even though you did. To object that it was easy, because it wasn’t. It was the hardest, worst decision of your life, one you replayed every time you closed your eyes. You’ll never forget. Never, ever, as long as you live.

“No sorries.” Ricky silences you with a thumb over your lips, the second the first apology is blurted out. “You did good, (F/N). You did what you had to do. Now let me do the same. Please?”

Maria, how much does this universe expect you to give? What a cruel thing to do, to ask your consent to let Ricky die. It has to be a punishment. This heart of yours has loved so deeply, and so it’ll bleed just as much. Equilibrium and all that shit.

“It’ll be just like our game. I’ll be hiding up there, in the stars, and you’ll have to find me.” His eyes twinkle, and with bated breath he hugs you again, this time with his usual fierceness, burying his face in your hair. “You’ll do it, kid, I know you will.”

Well, then, you’re defeated. With a last inhale, you do your best to memorize his scent. And then you whisper, “Okay.”

For the last time, you say goodbye to Ricky Belle.

And you turn around in time to see Levi, kneeled down, saying his final goodbye to Erwin Smith.

Times like these, you wish you were religious. So that you could clasp your hands together and scream at the sky please! spare us! i beg of you, forgive our sins and save us! If not to give these crying children something to pray to, then at least to comfort yourself that they won’t just go from this hell to a more fiery one.

“Everyone!” The commander’s voice is a stab to the stomach. “I’m about to announce our final mission. All troops, line up!”

Hands cup your forearms, then make their way down. Levi’s face is stony, but his course, tender hands compress your elbows, covered by your uniform. And yet it still feels like you can feel the rough calluses on your skin, almost lifting you up before you can sink. How rotten it would be for morale if the soldiers saw the two who didn’t have to sacrifice themselves embrace in comfort. So instead, you squeeze his arms too, keeping him rooted as he keeps you from falling.

It’s not like you have any words left to say. Both your eyes bore into his, and you shake your head slowly, letting him know that only you can see the piece of his heart that is now broken off. His throat bobs, and then he reaches up to wipe a tear that was never there from your cheek. Amidst the screams, he reminds you that you, too, are human.

“I told him to do it,” Levi admits, quietly and wildly. “It was my decision, in the end.”

The kind of confession he’s trying to make is best achieved over a glass of wine, after a good first glass has already been savored. When you can, after listening to every word with your utmost attention, pull him into your chest, and let him rest there, kissing his forehead whether he lets a few tears drop on your skin or not.

You can’t possibly hope to do that when so many rocks and screams and people are blinding you. Levi could admit to twisting the knife in Erwin’s stomach and you would only nod, and continue to hold onto him like you were his lifeline and he yours.

All else will have to fade until the reason for this sacrifice is dealt with.

Casting a blank glare upon the enemy, you finally, finally focus. “Tell me what the plan is.”

Levi’s head follows yours. “Me and you. We’ll take down the Beast Titan.” And everyone else will perish. “Will you do it?”

The way he doesn’t even need to look at you to know what your answer will be steadies you. Your hand slips down to his, discreetly intertwining your fingers. You can take it. You won’t let anything destroy you again, much as your heart will tear and your stomach will curdle. At these soldiers’ funerals, you’ll lift your head high and make sure their souls know they can count on you to make sure they are never forgotten.

For Stephen. For Nifa. For Rashad. For Gunther. For Traute. For Petra.

For Ricky.

“We’ll move in from the side. Use the bastards’ own guards to get closer to him. And then,” Captain Levi promises, with his nails digging into your palm as a swear, “we’ll make sure these deaths mean something.”

And so you find yourself on Erwin’s right, Levi on his left, facing down the soldiers who will give their lives at just the chance for your victory.

The commander yells, a terrible, horrible, wonderful speech that is not for you, but creates a pit in your stomach and a roar in your chest nonetheless. The entire time, you don’t tear your eyes off Ricky for a second. After he salutes, he’s the first to mount his horse. It takes Levi’s grip on your arm for you to look away.

And the last thing you do for Commander Erwin is give him the most genuine salute you have ever given anyone, one fist over your chest and one on your back. 

Your heart and soul to the cause.

Behind you, you think you feel Levi give one as well, but it’s gone by the time you turn, and he begins to walk, starting the operation in earnest.

First you jog, then pick up the pace, then run, until you and Levi are almost racing. Possibly the only two surviving members of the Survey Corp. You’d find it romantic if it wasn’t so horrifying. Here it is, the sentimentalism of battle, because Levi doesn’t need to tell you to go ahead. He doesn’t need to tell you when to shoot your cables. He doesn’t need to tell you when to follow him into the air, because he’ll hardly breathe before you’re next to him. He needs only to be, and you will be right beside him.

This is a dream, one born from countless disturbing fantasies, of flying and falling and falling in love, all by his side. Your captain, your lover, your duke of destruction, your husband, your superior. It’s a nightmare, a nightmare you’ll never wake from because it’s all too real, but how many times have you felt like this, flying next to him? Nothing has ever clicked so well, so fast, so perfectly.

It’s as though the universe intended him for you, and you for him. Not only does Levi hold your heart, but he’s the one who made it beat in the first place. Hiding his laughter during the wee hours of the morning when you complained about your nonexistent neck cramps, he taught you love then. And now, with no one to hide from, now that he’s sure none of the soldiers can see him, you bear witness to his anguish, glassy eyes frozen by the wind on his face.

You don’t look at the source of the horses’ hooves thundering below you. You can’t.

Most people get drunk on alcohol. You do too, but not nearly as much as you get absolutely intoxicated fighting side by side with Levi Ackerman.

So it pains you to stop him at all, but you kick yourself out of the subspace you’ve fallen into to cope with the mass suicide charge. Before he can charge the first titan, you grab his arm. “Wait. Should we kill them?”

“We have to.” But even as he says it, the titan’s eyes shift towards the two of you, and yet it doesn’t move, just stays frozen in place. “Even if they won’t attack now, don’t you think they’ll provide him more cover later?”

“You’re not wrong. But we’re betting on this being a surprise, right? This is almost a guaranteed way of letting him know we’re coming. The smoke signals won’t matter if he hears us. Plus…” Your left arm throbs in pain suddenly, making your teeth grit. “I only have one pair of swords left.”

Again his fingers clasp around your elbow, murderous intent replacing the grief in his eyes as he stares down at your injury. “You could run,” he mutters, “there’s still time. Let me kill him.”

Unable to help it, your knuckles brush against his cheek, wiping away a drop of blood. “You’ll tell the commander to ride to his death, but you’ll spare me? That’s not right, Levi. I’m with you, now and always.”

He kisses you unexpectedly, tasting bitter but warm, and you’re sure any soldier would do the same if they realized they were all alone in the world, comrades slain all around them.  That’s how you justify moving your lips against his, standing almost sideways against the wall with your hooks keeping you upright. This is not passion—not even love, although you feel it within you anyways (love, love, love, you love him)—just the natural way of things. Just like fighting, just like flying, just like breathing. His hand rests on your neck, thumb on your cheek, making sure your skin will always remember his touch. “Okay,” he murmurs, when he pulls back. “We’ll do it your way.”

This time, your gaze follows his, and you lock onto your target. Don’t get too addicted to victory, asshole.

Levi jumps first, and you follow, hooking onto the titan before jumping to the next one, with no movement except the titans’ eyes on you. Your fingers twitch, muscle memory screaming at you to slash the neck when it’s so wide open, but you push down the urge and concentrate on counting.

From titan to titan, seven…twelve…eighteen...twenty-two…

Twenty-five. And, you’re assuming, twenty-five on the other side as well. Fifty in total. Fifty-one counting the Beast Titan.

On the back of the final one, your fist clenches. There are still soldiers screaming out there. Riding to their deaths. Ricky could be one of them. Or he could be dead already, lying in a pool of his own blood.

Either way, they didn’t take your partner in crime alive.

The Beast Titan is huge. He must have a few meters on Eren’s titan (please let Eren and others be okay), and the fur covering his body makes him look all the more intimidating. 

But he’s nothing compared to the man above you, who has blood around his eyes and blades in his hands. Under the rising soon, Levi is bathed like a holy figure, a great warrior of old, and he is in perfect position to strike. 

Now, he mouths.

You move at the same time as him, going down as he goes up, a move that has never wronged you before and doesn’t today. With a hook in the titan’s back, you rush down, sliding in between his legs with a slash to both of them. Up above you hear Levi snarl, and sure enough, the Beast’s throwing arm is gone. This will be a quick fight, you know it, because you can hear the pain in Levi’s normal grunts. This isn’t a fair fight, this is revenge.

With a roar and a hand to his nape, the Beast Titan falls forward, but Levi’s ready for that too—he slashes his eyes next, not even needing to worry about regeneration with his speed. You jump as the captain goes high, and take out the other arm.

And for the grand finale, you leap back and allow Levi his killing blow.

Out of the nape of the  monster a man is thrown out, with shaggy blonde hair and a beard, but that is all the observation you can make before your captain shoves his sword in his mouth. You swallow, but vault on top of the unmoving titan’s body, stepping next to him and staring down in contempt.

The Beast Titan. The destroyer of the Survey Corp. Just a man after all. 

“After transforming, if your body’s severely damaged, it’s too busy healing to let you resume your titan form. Isn’t that right?”

The man can’t answer. Levi knows he can’t answer. You wonder what it says about you that it still makes you wince when he rips the man’s cheek open.

“Hey,” he seethes, “I asked you a question. It’s only polite to answer.”

You’ve…won. A victory that surely isn’t worth it, but it’s still a victory. The Beast Titan has fallen, and Levi—Levi has the injection. If one of the soldiers—maybe Erwin, maybe one of the recruits, maybe—maybe Ricky, if any of them are still alive, then maybe—if there’s two, there will have to be a terrible choice made—but at least someone will be brought back—

The body you’re standing on shakes. 

Fifty-two, you realize in horror.

You don’t wait. 

In a second, your arms are around Levi’s waist and you’re tugging, both of you plummeting towards the ground. He doesn’t wait either, and before you can blink, he’s spun you around so that he’s landing on his back and you on top of him.

“No,” you gasp, looking up, but your protests don’t stop it. No matter how quickly you race to your feet, it does not halt this new titan, crawling on all fours, to escape with the bearded man in its mouth. 

Defeated words reach your ears. “Hey. Where are you going? Stop.”

With no sword in his mouth now, the man is free to scream. For the second time today, a blonde man shouts his orders for this battle. These orders, not for human soldiers.

“Go, now! Rip him to pieces!”

“Hold on.” Levi is still in disbelief—victory had been yours, was rightfully yours, a hundred dead soldiers could not amount to nothing. “I made a promise to Commander Erwin…that I would kill you no matter what it took.”

Hopelessly, you turn around. Titans are running towards you in both directions. Fifty left. More, for all you know. Clearly, you still know nothing.

“I promised!” he cries behind you. 

There is absolutely no way for Levi to catch him now. Even if the two of you could defeat all of them, the Beast Titan will be long gone, outside of everyone’s clutches. The Scouts…they died for this. The commander and Ricky charged to their deaths on the slim chance that you would win. And Levi, he made just one promise and there is no way for him to fulfill it unless…unless…

You look up at the titans coming. If Levi just didn’t have the rest on his trail, then he could fight his way through half of them and catch the man. But there is no way to do that with so many more behind him, unless…

Unless…

Unless.

Ah.

Ah. So you’re finally standing at the crossroads.

Hadn’t you known it would come to this? The fateful moment when it would irrevocably be your life versus his? Hadn’t you spent months preparing for such a moment, confronted that harsh reality even before you joined his squad? It must be why you’re not surprised. Oh, how you’ve changed since that bratty girl from Stohess stepped into the Training Corp. The girl who didn’t need to try to do anything. The girl who put her fears above her heart. The girl who kissed Levi before running away from him. Running away from Levi, what a dumb notion. Even if it is what fate has led you to in the end.

“Go.” It’s a whispered command—insubordination, you think wryly—but even with the titans’ bellowing footsteps, you’re sure he hears you. “I’ll hold them off.”

Levi says nothing, but you feel him stiffen behind you. 

With life playing cruel joke after joke on you, you’d be heartless to pay it forward and force him to make a choice between your life and Erwin’s orders. So you reassure him again, “I can keep them off you. If you go now, you’ll catch him.”

“And you’ll—”

“I have Hange’s death sticks.” Stick, not plural. “But yeah, um, this might be it.”

You feel his breath catch in his throat as if it were your own. And despite your best efforts, you know that it’s no less evil to do this to him. The image of humanity’s strongest, alone, hunched over with no one to lift him up, just the thought kills you already. But he isn’t the strongest just because he can fight. It’s because he is the best of humanity, which can take any pain and any hardship and still come back for more. Still, though, you’re not going to add to that burden. You’ll make damn sure the love of your life knows he doesn’t owe you anything. 

“You don’t have to promise.” The breeze carries your words so you don’t have to turn, but you lean back slightly, so the back of your head can touch the back of his. “But just live for me, yeah?”

Not even in your favorite novels does a bride go out in a blaze of glory the day after her wedding. You’re more kickass than any of them.

The titans will be upon you in seconds. There is no time for argument—maybe a love confession, but he’d swore to you he wouldn’t. And he doesn’t.

At the last second, he speaks clearly.

“I’ll see you,” Levi finally says, his voice and mind made up, “soon, (F/N).”

“Soon, Levi,” you promise.

As you step away, you wish you could have gotten a last look at him.

Two sets of hooks sound in different directions as you fly up, tossing your sword and catching it to grip firmly before sliding around the first titan’s neck to slice it open. Forgive me, you hope he hears you, darling, I didn’t want to.

As you advance, you think.

You think of all the soldiers you’ve met. When you were a cadet, a private, a sergeant, and a lieutenant. Good-hearted people, kind people, brave people, and some bad people. All of them have been far better than you, but still you hope the fallen will accept you among their ranks. You believe you’ve fought hard enough. If everyone gets to rest, you should too, right? What’s beyond, anyway? Are they all living in harmony now, singing together? That sounds boring. Maybe they’re still fighting. That sounds depressing. Maybe they just are. That sounds like the best option.

You think of your father. How similar the two of you are now. The details of his death were never revealed, likely because the soldiers delivering the news didn’t know themselves. You wonder if he sacrificed himself for someone too, and if he was thinking of you. The man must have loved you, just a tad, because in a lost memory only now recovered, you can remember him ruffling your hair and telling you that he’ll tell you all about all the titans he slayed. As hard as you try, you can’t picture his face. Eventually, the survivors of today will forget the details of your face too. Or maybe they won’t, you’re drop dead gorgeous, ironic as the phrasing is.

You think of your mother. Her face is not one you can forget, least of all due to its resemblance to yours. Should you have apologized to her? It would not be a satisfying one. It wouldn’t even be a good lesson for anyone if you apologized to the person who hurt you the most. Because of her, you spent your life not crying. Do you even remember how to? How could she steal such a vital part of the human experience from you? It would have certainly made all the years of mourning easier if you could form some kind of physical manifestation of your sadness. No apology, but you wonder if she is capable of crying, and if she’ll cry for you. You won’t get your hopes up, though.

You think of your first squad. Eld, Gunther, Oluo, and Petra, who were as much a part of your build as a soldier as your own muscles were. Who took a part of your soul with them when they died. Somehow, even though you’ve achieved closure, the thoughts of them still make you feel ill, because if anyone didn’t deserve to die so brutally, it was them. None of them had ever brought harm upon anyone. All they had done was give their lives, always. The Survey Corp never knew such respectable soldiers and never would again. They would never know the truth, and it seems, neither would you. At the very least, you’ll be able to stand by their side once more.

You think of your new squad—Armin, Connie, Eren, Historia, Jean, Mikasa and Sasha—they, thankfully, have a shot. It’s more than enough, and if they’re still alive, you don’t doubt they’ll get to discover every secret this world’s been hiding. Those kids are different, each of them spectacular in their own amusing, clever, brave, titan-shifting ways. You only have regrets that you won’t get to be with them more, teach them more. There’s so much you wish you could say to them. And now good luck might be the most you can offer. A mental message being received is a little too much to expect from a squad that was only put together a few months ago, but you have faith. Even if they don’t get the memo, they’re good—they won’t need it.

You think of Stephen. Stephen Hansen, the most friendly boy you ever met. Stephen Hansen, who died before he even really became a man. Stephen Hansen, whose body wasn’t even in his grave. All the hours you wasted simply talking to a headstone should be considered criminal with all the theft of time. You don’t think you even talked to him for so long when he was alive. Stephen was your wake-up call, your rude awakening, but he was more than that—a comrade, a friend, a son, a person. The hole his absence left in you would never be repaired, or at least you’ll only determine differently when you can meet those pretty green eyes again, throw your arms around him, and tell him how desperately you’ve missed him.

You think of Ricky. You’ll have to apologize to him, you won’t be able to play the game because you’ll be joining him in the stars. You won’t be parted for long, and you two were so joined at the hip that it was almost inevitable. He’d laugh at you now, call you cheesy, and you suppose in some twisted turn he could be alive, but if he was, the pit in your stomach wouldn’t feel so bottomless, now would it. He really did keep you sane, rooted, always reminding you to laugh since the first time he met you. You never saw him take life as seriously as everyone else. He’s the only one who grew up next to you, the brother you never had, the last one left from the veteran Scouts, dying to protect his home. A sad intuition tells you he knew how today would end up for him. You’ll have to smack him in the arm for not warning you earlier.

You think of Millie, and wince at the mental image of her learning what happened. Though she doesn’t look it, she tends to get emotional. And you know what you’re doing to her. Not only are you her single competent dance partner, you might just be her favorite one (and if you said you were her best dance partner but she wasn’t yours, then what). All the people in your life you have an understanding with you’ve worked to make it so. Millie, though, you think was born just so the universe could show you that soulmates did exist. There is no other explanation for how another girl could meet your gaze from across the room at a party and understand just from a nod of your head that she should meet you outside so that she can talk your ear off about all the constellations. When people fell asleep during a rant, most people who were doing the ranting would take a hint that the other wasn’t interested. Not Millie, though, she would seek you out the next day with two books in her hands to drive the point home further. She was always the best, just so that you wouldn’t have to be.

You think of Levi. Oh, Levi Ackerman. How could you even begin to explain what Levi Ackerman was to you? No possible words or phrases could describe it. Nothing could capture the sensation of you and him in his office, straddling his hips as you settled down on his lap and kissed his soft lips. Nothing could accurately sum up the feelings you felt when he would cup your cheeks, nodding along to whatever tangent you were going off on, and stealing kisses in between. The novels that he would read with you as you cozied yourself in his arms. His breath at the back of your neck. The kiss he’d place at your nape to signal that he was done reading and you could flip the page. The way you would pretend you weren’t finished yet so that he could keep going, until you were a humming mess and the book would slip from your hands as he whispered in your ear. Lovely, sweet nothings that would be replaced by gruff commands that you adored no less in the morning. You’d let yourself get so, so greedy with him last night, marrying him for your own fantasies and having him confess his dreams—you’ll never see the tea shop. But you hope to Maria, Rose and Sina that he will. That he’ll gaze upon it and think of you and smile, knowing that a few lifetimes will be well worth the wait—and that you plan to love him even more the next time you get the chance.

Lastly, you think of yourself. With all this thinking, you haven’t been keeping track of how many titans you’ve killed, but it’s nowhere near a low amount, and you have to give it to yourself—you’re good. Like, holy shit, really good. There’s so many of them lying under your feet, and you did that with your last set of blades. Now, to cross one more thing off your bucket list…

With only a few titans left, you reel back and fire the Thunderspear straight at the ground. With a stunning spin, you fly away from the explosion that so many of the titans get caught in, up, up, up so far it seems the blast is propelling you, until the last bit of your gas runs out, and you fall back downwards, where a large flailing hand crashes into you and sends you flying towards to the ground. The grass approaches, closer and closer, your hair flies out of its bun and sets itself free, and then you think no more.

Mikasa has felt utter despair only twice in her life. Most would assume one of those moments was when her parents had died, but she’d been so confused and so scared in that moment that there wasn’t time to feel despair. 

Someone else would guess one of the moments would be just now, when she’d stared at Armin’s burnt corpse in front of her. And she’d felt it all, horror, repulsion, like her very life had just ended, but it wasn’t despair. Maybe she knew deep down who the captain would choose, or maybe her denial had been so strong that the unlikely decision only coincidentally happened to be the one he made.

One of the times was when Eren died. She’d felt it then, a hand wrapped around her throat and squeezing, asking her how badly she really wanted to live. Asking her how much she could really pretend to care when the world had taken back the person who made the sky look a little less gray. 

That was the second time.

The first was when Shiganshina fell. She wasn’t confused then, nor was she in denial. All she’d been was defeated, left wondering how she could have so much bad luck to not only lose her home once, but twice. How it was possible that Wall Maria had stood proud for a hundred years, but fell in her lifetime, in her childhood. 

And the only thing that comforted her, in the next few days and months and weeks, as they watched Armin’s grandpa leave them and were put to work in freezing fields with nowhere near an adequate amount of food provided to compensate for their work, was an orange jacket and the memory of a soldier smiling at her.

She’d known she was going to join the Scouts, because Eren was going to. But to see a soldier do something other than drink or fight, to actually try and ask for her name and to sacrifice something to give her any kind of warmth, reassured her that even besides her small family, there was still something to smile about in this world and still someone to fight for those smiles. 

So when she sees the captain staring out where all the bodies are lying, she speaks up. They are still waiting for Armin to wake, after all, and she needs to know, wants to see…

“Is the lieutenant with the others?” she asks boldly, knowing the captain may not want to speak with her right now. She knows she caused him pain. She knows that she is his most stubborn soldier. But she also knows that she told the lieutenant she’d find her once she’d confirmed Eren and Armin were alright, and well, they’re alright.

“No.” He points with his sword, newly stocked in his gear from one of their supply wagons just in case. “There’s still more titans there. That’s where she is. I’m going to go get her.”

“Let me come with you,” she requests. They have an understanding. There is a reason he knew about her feelings for Eren. As much as she hated it in the past, there is a connection there that goes beyond just them being family, and she can acutely imagine what he must be feeling. The commander, and the lieutenant—the lieutenant, of all people. She saw the way the captain stared at her. Mikasa was no fool. Even before the rest of them had the information revealed to them a month ago, she’d known. Underneath that supposedly apathetic look was gratitude, and love. The same gratitude she had to Eren for wrapping her scarf. The same love she had to Eren for simply living and breathing. Captain Levi looked at his subordinate like the world would stop turning if she wasn’t with him.

That’s exactly how it feels now. Like a crucial axis is broken, and the way of the world has cracked.

“Alright,” he agrees stoically, and they both make their way down the wall.

It’s a long walk, with no horses to rely on. As the titans approach, both she and the captain get their swords ready. A second after he attacks, she does too. It’s an easy fight. Neither of them are running low on swords or on gas anymore, and it actually feels…not good, but relieving to simply take down a regular titan, one that won’t go down until they blow him up or until someone burns alive. And there are so few left—the lieutenant may not have been an Ackerman like them, but she was still the only person who could keep up to her when it came to speed, something she assumed came with lots and lots of practice.

As Mikasa lands, she spots her. The lieutenant looks…small, not a word that would have ever been associated with her before. But there aren’t any obvious injuries on her body, no burns or limbs missing, and suddenly a surge of hope fills the girl’s chest. The lieutenant really is strong, so maybe she’s simply fallen unconscious. Maybe she’ll need some patching up, but she’ll survive. Maybe she’ll live, and Mikasa will get to find her as promised.

Captain Levi lowers himself onto his knees. With more care than he looks capable of demonstrating, he reaches for the lieutenant and pulls her into his arms tenderly, like she’s the most precious thing in the world. One of his hands cradles the back of her head, while the other closes over her wrist.

She can hardly breathe. Please, please, please.

There’s a small pause; maybe that’s the sound of the world creaking back to life?

“She’s dead,” the captain murmurs, and Mikasa feels that utter despair once again.

[theearlgreymage]

Lifting tired blue eyes from his own book, Erwin noted which of his reads Levi now held in his hand. “Ah, that’s an old one.”  “No shit, this thing’s clearly seen better days.”  “It was my mothers.”  “Oh.” 

Another moment of silence fell between them. Erwin marked the page in his current book while Levi dropped his eyes back to the one in his hands. His eyes flitted over the text that described some plant he’d never heard of, but he was quickly drawn to the bits of handwritten notes in the margin.  “She kept a small flower garden when I was a child,” Erwin explained when Levi dared to lift his gaze from the suddenly precious book he held. “That book is technically illegal.”  At that, Levi snorted, relaxing. “Seriously? A book about flowers?” “There are flowers in there that don’t exist within the walls,” Erwin stated.

I read the Bad Boy Leaks and decided I wanted to be sad and miserable, so I wrote this.

Shout out to @ic3-que3n for Beta-Reading/Editing <3

Read it here on AO3

Additional information below the cut ✂

Chapters: 1/1

Fandom: Shingeko no Kyojin | Attack on Titan

Rating: Teen and Up Audience

Warnings: Major Character Death

Characters: Levi Ackerman, Kuchel Ackerman, Kenny Ackerman, Kenny Ackerman's Grandfather, Levi Ackerman's Parents, Erwin Smith, Erwin Smith's Mother, Hange Zoë, Mike Zacharias, Nanaba (Shingeki no Kyojin), Moblit Berner, Isabel Magnolia, Furlan Church, Special Operations Squad | Squad Levi, Original Special Operations Squad | Original Squad Levi, New Special Operations Squad | New Squad Levi, Petra Ral, Oluo Bozado, Eld Jinn, Gunther Schultz, Connie Springer, Armin Arlert

Relationships: Levi Ackerman/Erwin Smith, Levi Ackerman & Erwin Smith, Levi Ackerman & Kuchel Ackerman, Kenny Ackerman & Levi Ackerman, , Levi Ackerman & Isabel MagnoliaLevi Ackerman & Furlan Church, Levi Ackerman & Furlan Church & Isabel Magnolia, Levi Ackerman & Petra Ral, Levi Ackerman & Oluo Bozado, Levi Ackerman & Eld Jinn, Levi Ackerman & Gunther Schultz, Levi Ackerman & Hange Zoë

Additional Tags: Canon Compliant, Canon Universe, Canon EraSpoilers, Bad Boy spoilers, KissingBoys, Kissing, Falling In Love, Angst, Hurt No Comfort, Canonical Character Death, Character Death, Loss, Fade to Black, Flowers, Language of Flowers, Levi isn't allowed to keep anything, Sad, POV Third Person

Summary:

“What if I'm not strong enough to carry it all?” Came Levi’s reply, small and timid for the first time in front of Erwin.

“You don't have to carry it all alone. I'll carry the burden with you, if you'll let me.”

They were both whispering as they exchanged words. Talking in hushed quiet tones that could be misconstrued as them sharing conspiratorial secrets.

[darkdemeter]

Dom War x Sub Fem reader NSFW! Set in Eld AU, War’s heavily injured and lone survivor of a tough battle, but meets S/O, who’s a healer and treats his wounds. Time spent together, S/O heals his wounds and War protects her from danger. S/O is a traveling healer and has nowhere to go, so War offers to take her back to his Nephilim tribe as his mate and new healer of the tribe, which she agrees. S/O eases his pain, physically and emotionally, and if he’s frustrated, she can always “help” him.

A HEALER TO CHAOS

◤✘DARKSIDERS REQUESTS | CATALOGUE Pre-Horsemen!War x Eld'hyunen!Female Reader

NOTES ↳ It’s so fun and cool to be exploring and sharing the Eld universe with you guys through requests, I feel like it allows readers to become immersed in the lore I’m building for the AU! Thank you anon for this request! WARNINGS❕ ↳ Mature rating, 18+ — mention of mass murder — depiction of violence and killing — lore building — SMUT mdni — unprotected sex — pregnancy — neck biting/marking — mate claiming, virginity loss (hymen breakage) — I think that’s it?

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It’s the scent of blood and the ominous purr of silence that draws you out of hiding. From the crop of rocks sheltering you, you move to inspect your surroundings with a peeking gaze, searching over the battle terrain to see your hunters and your enemies lay motionless on the ground. All but one. 

His ashen hair cascades in fluttering waves in the light breeze, hands clenched tight around the hilt of a massive blade bloodily sheathed in the muscled belly of his foe. Those that he came alongside with don’t get back up. He is the lone survivor of this gory battle.

Seeing so many corpses litter the ground reminds you of the awful slaughter of your tribe that were migrating towards the hillside pastures for Spring. Then, without warning, these beings of soured and unnatural origin, began an invasion upon your realm and in turn, attacked the travelling caravans of your people. You had run at the command of your mother and father and paid the price in watching all who you held dear and loved die. And now this one saved your life. Saved you from the carnivorous beasts that have stalked you for many moons. 

He rises to his feet, standing at a height that far exceeds that of your own kind. Pulling the blade free with a wetted splatter of blood that drools in thick sloshes, he stumbles back with a low and pained grunt, his body marked with grieving wounds. 

Your ears perk up slightly and the shortened coil of your tail sweeps across the back of your heels. He needs your help. He won’t survive if his wounds go untreated. And you have been alone for many, many turnings of the sun and moon. Perhaps he…

Still crouched low to the forest floor, your feet slide across the shredded bark and softness of grass as you pull yourself more into view. Slowly, you stand only to flinch when he turns sharply to face you, the glow of blue eyes beam at you with narrowed suspicion. 

Your breath becomes light in your chest until a hollow shape dwells there. His hand that holds his blade idle between sheath and arming clenches hard and you swallow the thickened bile of fear in your throat. You hold your hands up to bear your offering of peace. When he sees you mean to approach him, he remains largely skeptical, but otherwise lets you wander closer with cautious steps. 

“You are hurt.” Your voice is small, almost a mousy whisper. Head bowing and tilting this way and that, you observe the damage that’s been done to him, your nose inhales the sharpened incense of blood in the air, already you begin to recollect what balms and natural ointments that will benefit him. Against him, your hands are smaller and feel so soft moving across his skin that lay exposed. 

“They will heal,” he interjects with a low and booming voice. It astounds you, almost sends you rushing back to hide if only to be left in your fluster. 

You shake your head adamantly. “They will fester with sickness. I must tend to them.”

He pulls his arm from your gentle grasp, your lips parted with a gasp as your eyes find his. “Please? You saved my life. Allow me to do the same.”

The hardened front of his browline deeply creases, a twisted sneer smeared across his lips. Body shifting, he is once again pained by the carved gashes that line his torso and shoulder “How?” 

With a tilted bob of your head, you indicate for him to follow you. Your hands weave themselves to embrace the larger of his, fingers entwined to grasp the callousness of his palms and fingers. “Come.”

By nightfall you reach the forest hot springs that reside higher up on the rockier perches. The warrior whose name you come to know to be War, follows you. You situate yourself before the water’s edge where a heated mist of condensation rises. 

You can see the question in the quirk of his brow and the daggered contact of his gaze that forces your head to turn away, a flustered warmth covers your cheeks. “These waters are used by healers to cleanse wounds of infection.”

War only moves after a moment’s hesitation defeated by the insistent nod of your head, your voice humming. He strips from his armour, the giant sword on his back leans on the cave wall at its pommel. Bulky chunks of metal, slings of leather and folds of fabric reveal the defined shape of his body. 

Your breath escapes you as a quiet gasp, eyes wide and face plagued by a hot rush. Though you mean to tear your eyes away they keep moving back to stare at him. You dare not meet his eyes as he then steps down into the heated waters. You can hear the way it sears and stirs against the eruptive barrier of his skin while he wads through it.

The pouring streamline of the upper basin flows steadily, a constantly stirred motion bouncing and rippling the surface that fades outwards. You admit, he looks so tranquil standing beneath the shower of the hot springs, blood seeping into washed out, lesser rivers. His hands douse handfuls of the curing springs over his head and you hear him sigh heavily, the burly muscle of his shoulders falling lax. With the blood cleared, you can see just how deep the beasts had dug their claws and sank their fangs. 

Eyes marvelling in silent awe of each scar that marks him, you then cower beneath the glow of his stare when you discover you have been caught, hunching in on yourself as you sit at the rocky ledge. Your tail, nervous, slides with idle and slow absent thought. You must shake yourself of these thoughts, sensual and primal in nature. You mustn’t let yourself be so engulfed by the consuming ache that dwells between your thighs. 

But the idea… why, the pointed tips of your ears flick back quickly with an excited tick. His stance indicates a stern and rigid expectancy.

Ahold of your senses and awakened from that stupor, you disrobe the woven strap of your belt that holds your small satchels and your cowled shawl. Setting them aside, you comb your hand through clusters of moss that thrive in the dampened poolsides, the spongy tissue of the natural balm familiar. 

You pad your way down into the water, one leg followed by the other. The water level just touches at your breasts that are barely concealed by the thin linens and corded leathers of your chest wrap. 

You make your way over, cautious once again under the scrutiny of his studying eyes that follow your every move like the fearsome and revered Obsidian Hawks. You don’t dare forget how tall he towers over you, fighting to keep your eyes from wandering down the deepened lines of his waist that disappear under the water. 

Before you stands one of the many who ravage the land you call home. His brothers and sisters cleave and sever blood from blood, soul from soul in claim of their undying bloodlust. 

It would have been wise to let him die. You should have, after all that you have seen, been subjected to, living out your days alone and wandering without the security or familiarity of your tribe. 

But you begin to smear the spongy texture of the healing moss to his wounds, applying with gentle care to the ones you could reach easily. Your attention focuses into the tap of the inner leylines, the spiritual veins of your soul that extend unto him. A hover of ethereal matter emits from your palms and touches along your fingers with a warm, softened glow. 

War’s lips tug into a wince, eyes scrunching at the beginnings of his wounds healing, the moss you applied to his marred skin tinged with a pulsing turquoise hue, acting as a medium for the magic that blooms from your hands. Your eyes flutter closed to influence your concentration further, though there lies a troubled bevel between your brows. Your hands follow the link of the leylines within him that guide your healing touch, but the infernal heat of his soul has a bite that feels as if it burns your skin with the warning intensity of fire. 

As uncomfortable as it is, you continue to push your skills beyond what exceeds your limit. Your shoulders rise and fall heavily with each laboured breath that passes you. War’s eyes track between the movement of your hands and your face, gaze intently set on you that then delves lower to the plushness of your breasts pushed together by your chest wrap, the linen fabric wetted to reveal a translucent viewing. Feelings arise, stirring, sensations he has never felt to entertain before until now. Through the thin and clinging fabric he sees the perky stiffness of your nipples, poised and glistening. Below the water he feels himself become erect, an ache reaching from his tip and down the long girth of his length. 

He’s suddenly pulled from his silent observation, his besotted hunger, when he sees you struggle. Whatever inner force that grants you your ability wanes as you strain yourself to reach the higher peak of his injured chest and shoulder. 

Without warning, his arms curl around you and he lifts you up, ignoring the protesting gasp you make or the way your glossy eyes widen in your own infatuated terror. 

The last of the moss dissipates with a flaring sizzle under your magic, though the wounds still require attentive care of stitchwork. You mean to turn away despite still being held in his arms and he suddenly stops you. He pins you to the pool’s rocky rim, your arms moving to support yourself, palms scratching against the roughened, wet stone with each yearning thrust that has your core arching out of the water from his hips. You let out a squeal of a whimper that pleads for him. 

Ever since you laid eyes on him you were mystified. The enchanting waves of his white hair that accented the angelic hue of his eyes, his larger and handsome physique leaping into the fray without fear. He hadn’t anticipated saving you, undoubtedly caught in the cycle of predator hunting predator, tearing down the original hierarchy to make room for himself amongst its chain. 

Those of your tribe always respected the strength and prowess of the ones who hunted and defended your wandering caravan. And such a display won your heart despite your better judgment that he was an invader of your realm. 

He moves to roll his hips attentively, slowly that causes an aching crawl to travel up your spine, sending your nerves into an aroused frenzy. His weight pushes against you as if to test you, to see if you’re more submissive than your Eld’hyunen counterparts. When he sees you pose no issue in challenging him and instead your body leans into that want, his head bows down and you feel the scrape of his teeth. The sharp incisors pleasantly run along the flesh of your shoulder, lingering close to the curve of your neck. 

Your size is impossible to compare fairly when held flush to the confines of his body. His hands are overly large enough to swallow you under his reach. The burning heat emits from his skin like a fiery blanket that consumes you. He bends the lower curve of your spine, your thighs burn with that strain that pulls your muscles from being spread wider to the gate of his hips that continue to rut into your clothed sex. 

Your hands smooth over his watered body, palms caressing the flex of muscle and taut flesh while your lips move across his skin with a ghostly sigh. As he aims to tear away the material of your lower garments, you unravel the translucent fabric of your chest wrap, peeling it off to reveal your breasts spilling free. Naked before him, he pulls you into his arms and you gasp sharply, tail swatting across the water’s glistening surface when you’re seated on the crown of his swollen — and very large — cock. 

It’s… enormous. Far beyond what you’re possibly capable of taking. His eyes study the blatant visage of your furrowed brow, the way your ears twitch nervously and the way you adjust yourself hesitantly almost as if to squirm away from him. 

“Be still,” he rumbles lowly, handling you and pushing you down on his tip. You hiss, the intrusion more shocking to your system than painful, merely knotting his leaking head between your slickened folds. 

You comply with his demand and allow him to do as he pleased. You were not denying him on this front, that wondering curiosity of what it would have been like had you completed your courting taking over. That need to finally have what you prematurely lost. There had been a few males you were potentially interested in, some had given you small yet thoughtful offerings as gifts in seeking your approval. 

But with War before you now, dare you even admit that none of those males could compare? 

You sink, further and further down and your walls stretch until you’re completely full but it doesn’t stop. He punctures through your hymen and you yelp, body trembling against him and he holds you tighter. It continues on as you take in another inch, followed by another. You whine and mewl with small, weakened pants that beat against his chest and your fingers curl to bite deeply into his skin as your walls struggle to take him. 

The last inch is unable to fit when he meets the final resistance. He groans deeply at the way your walls hold around him like a vice. Immediately he begins to rut his hips, a hard but slow pace set that physically bounces you up and down, you’re weightless in his grasp. Withdrawing from your cunt has a pained hiss escaping you, baring your teeth before it finally subsides with the pleasure. 

His lips take to devouring your skin, suckling and kneading the tender spot of your neck between his teeth. You moan louder and he grunts in response, uttering words in a tongue not of your own, though its canter is beautifully intoxicating that you want to hear more. He arches you back to watch how your breasts bounce with every move you make before he takes one of your stiffened peaks into his mouth, groaning lowly as his tongue envelops it.

A painful strain forms in the length of your hips but you care little for it now that that dull, needy ache is being satiated between your thighs. Your body practically curls into him, readily possessed by his strength and desire, anything and everything he would want for, you would give; and you would live out your remaining existence happily if he chose you. 

Of course, you don’t expect him to know or even acknowledge the more intimate factors of your culture or your ways of courting, but perhaps he could learn from you as you can from him. Even now you learn with each other, finding what the other craves, what pleases each other the most. He moves onto the other neglected mound of your breast, lapping at it with aggressive care as he picks up the speed of his thrusts. 

“Please… pl—please…” you beg softly, voice barely above a whisper to be heard over the watery slosh and rapid clapping of skin. 

he pants the utterance of your name you feel your entire body grow hot, fast approaching your release. It overtakes you as a flash, white and pulsating that has you arching to have his entire length sheathed inside you, never wanting to be apart. You moan into the recess of the hot springs, the cave walls capturing the sound as an echoing choir. 

His teeth bite down hard upon your neck and you cry out, nails drawing red lines that stake your claim over him as much as he does to you now. Blood sweeps up your neck, gathering as a pool that seeps through the broken skin. 

Your chest heaves until the swell of your ribcage is sore from the need to survive by breathing. Your head dizzied and eyes foggy, lidded with a heaviness, you pull yourself back to him, chest to chest. 

“War,” you moan, low and sweet and the sound of his name on your lips sends him over the edge. A few harder pumps that reach that one spot has you mewling for more and he releases his seed into the precious silk of your womb. You hear the way your combined juices mix together and feel the slow crawl of it drooling down the steep angle of your walls. 

Through the haze of your bliss you see the punctuated hue of his blue eyes staring at you, marvelling at you. Your fingers, so delicate and soft that he cannot help but try and gently kiss them, smoothly trace the lines and structure of his jaw, taking the time to study every single part of him that’s scarred and not. 

He brings you back over to the edge of the pool, the faded mist and water parting before his destined strut. He sets you down and you begin to weave and stitch what remained unhealed while his hands and mouth continued to discover you until he reached the lower folds of your cunt, tongue dancing over the still sensitive bud of your clit and you sharply gasp, an elicited sound he finds great pleasure in wanting to hear. 

Under the dawn’s abode, you begin to stir when streams of sunlight bathe you with a glowing, tempered greeting. Not too far from the hot springs had you and War made camp where the two of you continued to explore newer pleasures. From behind you, War cages you with a security you have not felt in so long, held against his sturdy chest, your back warmed by him long since the fire went out. 

His nose presses against the indented mark on your neck and you purr, enjoying the way his breath caresses you, his lips kiss and his teeth nip at you. He’d discovered you enjoyed the form of his fingers or tongue curling deep inside you, mesmerised by how your legs would shudder and your toes clench into tightened curls. He adored the way you admired and praised his body, submitting to his far larger size and able to cover you beneath him as he took you over and over again. 

By the time the both of you were properly dressed, he encouraged you to follow. Not that you had much of any thought against it, relieved that he intended for you to stay with him. 

“You are without a tribe now,” he had said.

“I am.”

“Then join my tribe, as a healer and my mate.”

With a smile, you had agreed. The days that follow were spent travelling together. He kept the creatures that stalked you at bay, often pulling you behind him to protect you and after such battles, you would nurture and tend to his wounds, intimately caring for his soul that has seen much bloodshed and been tainted by many horrors that plague his sleep. 

He would watch you comb your fingers through your hair, gathering a thickened lock of it on your left side and begin to plait it into an elaborate braid. War could see the way you smiled the entire time, cheeks seemingly warmed and not by the fire but from the significance your new braid bore. 

You would decorate it, using scarlet dyed threads and small, painted beads to intertwine with the braid, their stunning hues beautifully complimenting the colour of your hair. 

Oh, how you wanted to ask him if you could do the same, to signify that he was lovingly spoken for, but… from the way his brethren of the tribe interacted with one another, a brutish culture, you’d thought better against it. At least for the meantime. 

Though it has taken quite some time to grow accustomed to the way the Nephilim go about their bidding within the tribe, their violent nature often demonstrated right before your eyes just as much in the field of battle, it’s better knowing that you were no longer alone. Of course, you could have fled to any number of the fellow Eld’hyunen tribes, they would have taken you in without discrimination, but what then? They too would have met their bloody end for sure, and perhaps your soul claimed amongst them. 

And you would not have met your beloved War. A formidable fighter and very capable of defending your honour whenever one of his Nephilim brothers attempted to claim you for themselves. 

But there were times where you would have to remain in the camp and wait for the war party’s return. A tiny shred of fear always accompanied these long tides of waiting, gnawing in the back of your mind that War would be counted among the numbers that didn’t get back up. That they would carry his near-dying body to you and you would be left alone again. 

But he always came back. However much you scolded and fussed over his wounds, you were thankful he was alive. 

Nights were spent together in the privacy of your personal tent, skin pressed to skin, body to body and enveloped by the flood of your sated arousal that audibly guaranteed that War had claimed a mate for himself, that you were all his. Other times you simply would lay together atop the gathered furs, listening to the hungry smolder of the fire and the lingering mingle of your breath matching.

Many days and nights after his return from battle would see him approach you, agitated by something but you knew just what would help to ease the pent up rage, your body used for his explicit aggression. 

Eventually, you were given permission to braid the left portion of his ashen hair. Of course, you made it less obvious than your own but being able to gently comb and filter the locks of white between your nimble fingers, fashioning a beautiful courting braid and securing it with a red lacing that matched yours gladdened you. 

Your lips hover over the naked scar of a recent wound on his shoulder, humming a soft lullaby for his ears to hear. The fire in the small tent crackles, its smoke filtering out through the opened gap in its top. 

War buries his nose deep into the crook of your neck, right over the healed scar of his mark and you smile, turning in his lap to sit in the comfort of your silence. His large hands rest over the top of yours, the two of your carefully nursing the small, beginning bump of your unborn young.