#maria adkins

[darkthingshappen]

Reblogging this because it’s been a while since I read it. And I just did reread it and I got all teary eyed doing so. If you’re a Ben fan and you haven’t read this sweet bit of comfort then I hope you enjoy it. If you have read it, I hope you enjoy reading it again.

Baby Steps: A Brother's Keeper story

Things have been rough for Ben lately, so I thought he could use some future comfort. This is set a few weeks after his rescue and before his eventual recapture. Zoe is a new favorite character. She's just soooo good for my sweet Ben.

CW for alluded to past noncon, torture, and abuse

Tagging List: @i-can-even-burn-salad @peachy-panic @deluxewhump @arwenadreamer @whumpcereal @melancholy-in-the-morning @dont-touch-my-soup @whumpsday @keeper-of-all-the-random-things @whump-for-all-and-all-for-whump @oddsconvert @melennui @susiequaz12 @morning-star-whump @crystalquartzwhump @whump-and-other-things @mylifeisonthebookshelf @reflected-pain @hold-him-down @quietshae @sparrowsage (I hope I’m not forgetting anyone - please let me know if I am and I’ll fix it. I’m still getting used to this) 

Thanks again to the AMAZING @whumpcereal for being the BEST BETA IN THE WORLD!!!!!

Zoe stood looking in on Ben.  Like so many days that she had come to visit him since he came home, he was curled up in bed, staring at nothing.  He wasn’t literally catatonic, but he couldn’t engage.  It had only been a few weeks since he’d come home and she knew the basics of what had happened to him.  No one wanted to tell her, but she’d insisted Jake tell her.  

He’s my boyfriend, Jake.  He’s been my best friend since we were sixteen years old.  I have a right to know.  

No you don’t.  He wouldn’t want you knowing.

Jake, he’s fucking catatonic!  I can’t help him if I don’t know what he’s been through.  I love him too, you know.

I know you do, but… Jake’s voice had faltered.  Zoe, it’s really bad.  Like, he’s been through literal hell. 

All the more reason for me to know.  He’s going to need me to find his way back.  Honestly, Jake, just tell me.  I can handle it.  And it can’t be any worse than what I’m imagining.  I���ve seen some of the marks on his body.  They didn’t come from just a beating.

Jake hung his head and relented. 

It had been as bad as she’d imagined.  Worse in so many ways.  Jake flat out refused to show her the pictures, but she didn’t need them.  She read through the file, the abuse, the torture, the ways he’d been used.  The way he’d been found.  She’d had her own nightmares since then.  It wasn’t like reading a story or a news article.  It was real.  This happened to her family.   

Her sweet Ben, the man she loved who would never have hurt anyone ever, the man who held the door open for her, the man that had always treated her with such tenderness.  Her sweetheart since they were sixteen years old, had been so brutalized that he was a shell of himself.  Her heart broke for him every time she saw him.  

He looked so small in his bed, the covers pulled up to his chin.  She didn’t have to see to know what he’d be wearing - a giant oversized long sleeve t-shirt, baggy pajama bottoms that swallowed him, every inch of his body covered to hide the brutal scars and marks of his captivity they all knew were there.  She could still see the scar on his cheek from where he’d been hit so hard or so many times that it had opened up and never healed properly.  

She wanted to take his broken body in her arms and hold him until all the hurt was gone.  But life was never that simple.  He desperately needed a kind and gentle human touch, but every touch terrified him and threatened to send him back to that place.  For a moment, a fury washed over her that was almost overwhelming.  She hated the men that had done this to her sweet Ben.  Who could look at him, could know him, and ever want to hurt him?  What kind of person did that to another?  Alexsei fucking Volkov, that’s who, her brain supplied unhelpfully.  

God, if she could get her hands on that man she was certain her fury and vitriol would be enough to give her the strength to tear him apart, to rip his body to tiny little pieces and then feed them to the fucking dogs.  And even that would be better than what he deserved.  A small, very violent part of her, wanted him to have to suffer the same way Ben had suffered.  But she didn’t want to dwell on that because then she’d have to think about what that monster did to him.  

She slowly walked into the room, not wanting to startle him.  There had been several occasions where one or all of them had accidentally sent Ben spiraling into a flashback.  The visits were hard, but she made herself keep coming.  It wasn’t a chore, not really.  Not for Ben.  She’d keep trying to get through to him for the rest of her life if that’s what it took.  

“Hey, Benny,” she said lightly, sitting slightly away from him on the bed.  

Ben’s eyes seemed to suddenly focus, and they found hers.  HIs soft brown eyes that used to be filled with lightness and mirth were haunted and filled with fear more often than not now.  She could see the moment that he realized it was her and not them in his room.  His tense muscles relaxed slightly, and he smiled sadly at her, like he’d done something wrong. It made Zoe’s blood boil to see Ben’s shame. He didn’t deserve it. He was innocent. He’d always been.

“Hey, Zo.”

“How ya doing today?”

“Oh, um…”  

Words were no longer easy for him.  He struggled with expressing basic thoughts, which never used to be the case. Probably had to do with so much time spent gagged or muzzled.  Who fucking muzzles a person?  Who would muzzle Ben?  Why?  Why would anyone want to silence him?  Zoe shoved her anger back down.  

“I, I, I…” Ben huffed out a frustrated breath.  “I’m.  Okay.”  He had to say each word specifically.  But they both knew he wasn’t okay.  It was just the expected response.  Polite, appropriate.

“Are you?”

He looked at her again, sad eyes that used to dance.  

Zoe swallowed and gently touched his hand, even though she knew it was a risk.  He stiffened for a moment and then relaxed and returned her grasp.  

“I know you’re doing your best, Benny.  But you can’t do it all on your own.  W-will you let me help you?” she asked quietly.  

“I don’t know if you can.” Ben turned back to the wall. “The doctors said I’m fine physically.  But, I’m never going to be the same again.  I’ve said it before, Zo.  I think you should move on.  I’m no good for you anymore.  I can’t be the man you deserve.  I-I-”

“If you say you're broken or ruined one more time… I swear to God I’m gonna-”

Ben shrank in on himself a bit at her words and frustrated tone.  “It’s true,” he whispered.  

Zoe took a deep breath through her nose.  “Ben, if the situation were reversed and I was the one that was abducted and… and… and.. went through what you went through, would you stop loving me?”

Ben’s face paled and he looked like he might be sick.  Then anger flicked across his expression and then a cold resolve.  She understood.  He’d had a brief flashback but had seen her there instead of him.  The thought clearly horrified him, made him sick and angry.  She could read him so well, even after all of this.  

“I never stopped loving you.” He looked back at her. It was the strongest and most defiant voice she’d heard from him since his return.  

“I know, love.  But would you think I was a lost cause if it were me instead of you?”

Again the horror and fear and anger crossed his face at the thought of someone doing all that he’d endured to her.  His hands clenched into fists.

“Never.”

“Then why do you think I should leave you behind?  I could never do that.  You’re my best friend, my first and only love.  You’re the man I want to grow old with.”

“But I don’t know that I can be that man for you anymore.  Zoe, the things he did to me…”

“I don’t care.  I just want you.  Even if it’s just to sit with you, or to lay next to you at night.  I just want to be with you.”

“But you deserve more.”

“No, I deserve you.  Because you are the man I love.  The one God brought to me.  None of that has changed.”  She moved her hands slowly, so he could see, and took his face in her hands, her thumb just barely caressing the scar on his cheek.  “I love you, Benny.  Just you.  It’s always been you and will always be you.”  She leaned forward and barely touched her lips to his forehead, his eyelids, the scar, the tip of his nose.  

When she pulled back, he had tears running down his cheeks.  Her thumbs wiped them away. .  

“Was that too much?” she whispered.  “I’m sorry, Benny.”  She started to let go of his face but he reached up and grabbed her fingers.  

“No.  No, it’s not.  Please.”

“Please what, Benny.  Anything you want, just say it.”  Her voice was soft, like the barest breath of wind.  

“Stay with me.”

Zoe smiled sweetly at his request, but that wasn’t what her goal was for the day.  She looked him over, taking in the dark circles under his eyes and the too pale skin.  No, she wouldn’t let him languish in this room all day everyday.  He had to get out.  It wasn’t good for him to hide from the world.  Still, baby steps.  Tiny, fractional, microscopic baby steps.  But always moving forward.  That’s what she could help him do.  Move forward.  

“No.  You’e coming with me this time,” she said with her own playful grin on her face.  

“Wha-?”

“Ben, you can’t stay in bed all the time, come with me.”

“No… No, I can’t.”

“You can.  Just hold my hand.  Don’t let go.  Come on.”  She held his gaze gently.  “Trust me,” she whispered, almost inaudibly.  

Zoe pulled him up gently.  His shirt slipped up slightly as the blankets shifted and she caught sight of the scars and ink that covered him.  Fucking Alexsei Volkov!  Ben tugged his shirt down hurriedly, glancing nervously at Zoe.  She just smiled and pretended not to see.  

She leaned her head against his shoulder once they were both standing.  “I love you.”

He leaned his head down on top of hers.  He’d forgotten how perfectly they fit together.  “Love you too,” he whispered as if nothing had changed.  “I’m still kinda weak, so… where are we going?”

“Just down to the garden.  You look like you could use some sunshine.”

Zoe led them down to the back door, holding Ben’s hand the whole time.  She paused to grab a blanket off the back of the couch.  

Zoe let go of his hand just long enough to spread the blanket out on the grass.  The day was warm, and the flowers were blooming in the afternoon sun.  She sank down onto the soft blanket and pulled Ben with her.  

She held him against her and whispered in his ear.  “Just relax.  It’s warm, you’re safe.  Feel the breeze on your face, the sun on your skin, the softness of the blanket under your fingers.  Listen to the sound of my voice, the birds in the trees.  Smell the flowers in the garden, the fresh cut grass all around us.  See the blue sky above you, the colors in the flowers of the garden, the stone wall surrounding us…” she trailed off quietly and gently rubbed his arm with just her fingernails.  

“And what am I supposed to taste?” he said, smiling up at her, and for a moment it was almost a real Ben smile.  The Ben from before.  There was the barest hint of mischievousness in his eyes.  

“What do you want to taste?”

“I… I thought a lot about your lipgloss when I was gone?”

Gone. That’s how he always said it. Like he’d just been away on a trip. But they both knew there were parts of him that would never come home. Still, Zoe forced herself to smile. 

“My lipgloss?”

“The watermelon one.  You know.  That one that was your favorite and that when they stopped selling it you went online and bought every tube you could find.”

“I still have it.”

“Are you wearing it now?”

‘Yes…”

“Then… then that’s what I want.”  It was hesitant and with a question in his eyes, but also bold and beautiful.

Zoe smiled down at him where he lay across her lap.  She leaned down and brushed her lips against his and then pulled away.  She watched him lick his lips and taste her.  They both knew they were waiting to see if he had a flashback.  

“Breeze in my hair, sun on my face, birds in the air, and your taste on my tongue.  Can… can we do that again?” he asked quietly.  

“As often as you want, my love.” 

Ben reached up and pulled her down towards him, the kiss was longer this time.  Zoe felt Ben’s tongue just barely touch her lips.  He didn’t push further and she didn’t ask for more.  It was enough for now.  

*!*!*!*!*  

Maria Adkins smiled as she looked down into the garden from the second story landing at the top of the stairs.    

“What ya looking at mom?” Jake asked.  Maria jumped slightly, she hadn’t realized her oldest was upstairs.  “Oh, nothing.  Just a nice day.”

Jake, sensing that wasn’t exactly true, stepped up next to her.  He smiled warmly when he saw his brother on the grass below.  “A nice day indeed.”  

Maria put her arm around his back.  Both her boys were taller than her, but she found it didn’t matter much. They both still needed her so much. Jake leaned against her, and she felt his breath hitch beneath her arm.

“I’m sorry, Mom.  I know I can never say it enough.  But I really am.”  

So much had happened since that day with the FBI where they’d learned what had happened.  So very much.  And she knew her boys adored each other.  Jake may have been the connection to that monster, but it wasn’t his fault.  She knew he’d have traded places with Ben in a heartbeat to save him from what had happened.  If anything, this had made Jake finally straighten up.  

She missed the humor and swagger that he’d often carried about him.  In many ways, both her boys were broken by this common event.  She could read it in Jake’s eyes, the guilt, the horror.  He’d bear that for the rest of his life.  There was no way he could have known.  No way for anyone to have known what lengths that bastard would take.  She’d long forgiven Jake for his role, but it would be a long time before Jake could forgive himself.  

“Stop, Jake.  Let’s just enjoy this for now.  Today is a good day.  We’re together and we’re safe.  Let’s just be glad for that.”

Jake leaned down and bumped his head against his mom’s shoulder, and she squeezed him around the middle.  They heard the front door open, and when Jacob Adkins announced he was home from work, they let him know they were upstairs.  

He joined them on the landing and smiled at the sight in the garden.  If his eyes grew glassy and moist, no one called him on it.  

“Come on,” Maria said softly.  “They’ll be okay.  Let’s go get dinner ready.  Jacob, I need the trash put out; and Jake, you can set the table.”

“Yes, ma’am,” they both answered and turned to give the couple in the back garden some privacy.  

[ladyimaginarium]

Happy International Asexuality Day!

Keep in mind that while this isn't canon, these are both headcanons and our& introjects' identities ( which oftentimes are but aren't always interchangeable ) — this is who they& are and we'd& appreciate if you respected their& identities as you would with a singlet's. This was made for our& constellation / system in mind — as plural people. Please don't treat them& like rp muses. Singlets can reblog but don't clown. Okay to reblog as fandom. Do not reblog this as headcanons, roleplay, aesthetics, kins, F/Os, IRL/Me or D/A's. We& are a mixed, multigenic DID system and we& are not your aesthetic.

[kwebtv]

Gepetto - ABC - May 7, 2000

A Presentation of "The Wonderful World of Disney"

Musical Fantasy

Running Time: 89 minutes

Stars:

Drew Carey as Geppetto

Julia Louis-Dreyfus as The Blue Fairy

Brent Spiner as Stromboli

René Auberjonois as Professor Buonragazzo

Seth Adkins as Pinocchio

Usher as Pleasure Island Ringmaster

Ana Gasteyer as Signora Giovanni

Wayne Brady as Lezarno

Anthony Crivello as Bernardo

Christopher Marquette as Professor Buonragazzo, Jr.

Renee Olstead as Perfect Child

Teresa Parente as Maria

Janel Parrish as Natalie

Anton Yelchin as Fighting Kid at School

Patti Cohenour as Featured Performer

Jonathan Dokuchitz as Featured Performer

Jason Graae as Featured Performer

Myles Jeffrey as Featured Performer

Kristin Klabunde as Featured Performer

Kyme as Featured Performer

Tessa Ludwick as Featured Performer

Paige Miller as Featured Performer

Sara Paxton as Featured Performer

Tiler Peck as Featured Performer

Scarlett Pomers as Featured Performer

Mark Saul as Featured Performer

Kyle Sullivan as Featured Performer

Arnetia Walker as Featured Performer

Camille Winbush as Featured Performer

Josh Zuckerman as Featured Performer

Grover Dale as Featured Performer

Aaron Spann as Resident of Idyllia

Kane Hodder as Pleasure Island Inhabitant

Jack Salvatore Jr. as Pleasure Island Inhabitant

[x--daughters-of-darkness--x]

New IN THIS MOMENT Song 'I Would Die For You' Featured On 'John Wick: Chapter 4 - Original Motion Picture Soundtrack'

Lakeshore Records is set to release "John Wick: Chapter 4 - Original Motion Picture Soundtrack" digitally March 24 with an original score by Tyler Bates ("John Wick", "Guardians Of The Galaxy"),and Joel J. Richard ("John Wick", "The Andromeda Strain"). Bates and Richard, their scores an integral part of the success of the first three installments of "John Wick", return with another masterclass in high-intensity compositions that feature an array of instruments — including treated piano, mandolin, acoustic and electric guitar, bass, harmonica orchestra, synths, and found object percussion. Bates also produced songs performed by Lola Colette with Nick and Sam Wilkerson of the punk band WHITE REAPER on drums and bass respectively, as well as tracks with IN THIS MOMENT and Manon Hollander. In addition, the track co-written and produced by Bates with vocals by avant pop phenomenon and cast member Rina Sawayama, "Eye For An Eye", is available digitally. The Lionsgate film directed by Chad Stahelski and starring Keanu Reeves, Donnie Yen, Bill Skarsgård, Laurence Fishburne, Hiroyuki Sanada, Shamier Anderson, Lance Reddick, Rina Sawayama, Scott Adkins and Ian McShane is in theaters and IMAX on March 24.

Bates told Entertainment Weekly about his collaboration with IN THIS MOMENT: "'I Would Die For You' is a song that I wrote with Maria Brink and Chris Howorth of IN THIS MOMENT and [also] produced. Chad, literally, out of the blue, called me up, and he's like, 'Yo, Tyler, do you know this singer, I love her, Maria-something, she's in this band, IN THIS…?' I'm like, 'IN THIS MOMENT?' He said, 'Yeah, that's it!' I said, 'I'm actually working on their new record right now. [Laughs] They are real fans of 'John Wick', which is really cool."

"John Wick: Chapter 4 - Original Motion Picture Soundtrack" track listing:

01. Big Wick Energy 02. Nowhere To Run (Lola Colette) 03. Sand Wick 04. Change Your Nature 05. Continental Breakfast 06. Wick In Osaka 07. High Table In Osaka 08. A Grave Accusation 09. Grief On A Train 10. I Would Die For You (IN THIS MOMENT) 11. Of Mincing & Men 12. A Grave Situation 13. To Get Back In 14. Killa's Teeth 15. Ambition And Worth 16. Dog Lover 17. JW, Loving Husband 18. Stairs Arrival 19. Marie Douceur, Marie Colère (Manon Hollander) 20. John Wick Rises 21. Paris Radio Intro 22. Chess Club 23. Urban Cowgirl 24. Quite The Mess You've Made 25. The Ex Ex 26. The Ex Ex Chapter 3 27. Arc De Triomphe 28. Wrong Train 29. Sacré-Coeur Sunrise 30. Pistol Procession 31. Ten Paces 32. Twenty Paces 33. Helen A Handbasket 34. Eye For An Eye (Rina Sawayama) 35. Cry Mia River

Bates regularly transitions from scoring some of the world’s biggest film and television franchises, such as "Guardians Of The Galaxy" and "John Wick", to rocking massive audiences in the world of rock music, and back to the studio again writing and producing records with artists like HEALTH, BUSH, IN THIS MOMENT and STARCRAWLER, to name a few. In 2004, he created the menacing audio backdrop for the popular Zack Snyder reboot of "Dawn Of The Dead", beginning a string of nearly a dozen box office number ones that have contributed to well over five billion dollars cumulative worldwide box office gross for his projects. Bates then teamed up with Snyder again for the films "300", "Watchmen" and "Sucker Punch". His oeuvre expanded to include films like "Atomic Blonde", "The Devil's Rejects", "The Day The Earth Stood Still", "William Friedkin's Killer Joe", and TV shows like "Californication", "Punisher", "The Purge", "Kingdom", "Salem", "The Exorcist" and more. More recently, Bates scored the blockbuster "Fast & Furious Presents: Hobbs And Shaw", "Deadpool 2", "Jamie Foxx's Dayshift", Ti West's 2022 releases "X" and "Pearl", "The Spy Who Dumped Me", plus Genndy Tartakovsky's acclaimed animated series "Samurai Jack" and "Primal" on Adult Swim. After scoring Cirque Du Soleil's "R.U.N.", Bates embarked on the 2022 world tour in support of Jerry Cantrell's latest album "Brighten", which he also co-produced. With more new projects on the horizon including "Agent Elvis", Tyler Bates will undoubtedly continue to redefine what a composer is as a shapeshifting artist who's architected one of the most kaleidoscopic resumes in music.

Last October, IN THIS MOMENT released an EP called "Blood 1983". The effort commemorated the tenth anniversary of IN THIS MOMENT's gold-certified album "Blood" (2012) and was made available digitally across all digital service providers as well as CD via BMG.

"Blood 1983" was co-produced by Bates and Dan Haigh, and mixed by Zakk Cervini.

Since coming to life in 2005, IN THIS MOMENT has presided over a diehard fan base under the watch of "mother" figure and frontwoman Brink — joined by co-founder and lead guitarist Howorth, bassist Travis Johnson, guitarist Randy Weitzel and drummer Kent Dimmel. As millions convened upon the group's otherworldly and unforgettable concerts, they quietly emerged as one of the most influential and impactful bands of the 21st century.

To date, in addition to the gold-selling album "Blood", the quintet has garnered two gold singles — "Blood" and "Whore" — followed by Top 25 entries on the Billboard Top 200 with "Black Widow" (2014) and "Ritual" (2017). Bringing their total stream tally well past 200 million as of 2020, "Ritual" elevated them to new creative and critical peaks as well. Between selling out headline tours coast-to-coast, the group performed in arenas everywhere alongside DISTURBED and appeared at countless festivals from Welcome To Rockville to Sonic Temple. Along the way, they assembled their seventh full-length, the aptly titled "Mother" (Roadrunner) with longtime collaborator Kevin Churko (OZZY OSBOURNE, FIVE FINGER DEATH PUNCH).

IN THIS MOMENT is Maria Brink (lead vocals),Chris Howorth (guitars),Travis Johnson (bass),Randy Weitzel (rhythm guitar),Kent Dimmel (drums).

[starr-finn]

Payday 2 high school AU!

I did not make this on my own, so thank you to everyone that started this, I just put this here so you guys can see what we have worked on together! I'm so happy to have made these with the amazing people in our discord server, I'm sorry I don't have your @s rn, let me know if you want me to update this with your blogs

ALSO! this does include OCs! anyone that doesn't sound familiar is most likely an OC

Payday 2 high school AU, Real names, ages and grades

Joy, Joy locke, 15, Sophomore, computer based clubs

Houston, Derek Steele, 15, Freshman, Technical club

Dallas, Nathan Steele, 18, Senior, student council

Bain, Brendan Leach, 19, Senior, computer based clubs

Jacket is just jacket, 17, Junior, cooking club, OR theater kid

Bodhi is probably just Bodhi, 17, Junior

Hoxton, 16, Sophomore, choirs club, Rich asf, transfer student

Wolf, 17, Junior, Technical club, transfer student

Sydney, 16, Sophomore, Art club

Sokol, 16, Sophomore, Hockey team

Atlas, Finnley Reese, 16, Sophomore, Art, music, and creative writing clubs

Lucky, Blaire white, 15, Freshman, she's on the soccer team

Hackerwhacker, Axel Edmund, 16, Sophomore, Computer based clubs

Kaia, Akia, 15, Freshman, Creative writing Winters,

Neville Winters, 18, Senior, also the student council president

Bulldozer, Erik Barker, 18, Senior

Cloaker, Zachary Leach, 18, Senior

Medic, Dalton Blackburn, 15, Sophmore, He volunteers in the nurses office

Shield, Fritz Adkins, 17, Junior

Sniper, Christian White, 17, junior

Taser, Maxwell Meyer, 15, sophomore

Barbie, 18, Senior on the dance team

Shady, 18, senior, football player Koko, 15, freshman, cheerleader

switch, Heather cook, 16, junior

cloud-nine, Jessica Powell, 18, senior

heat-x, Blake Burke, 17, junior

snow-x, Alaska Burke, 17, Junior

Rece, Ellie Jones, 18, senior

Olympia, Riley Jenkins, 16, sophomore

bun-bun, Alto Whitlocke, 16, freshman

Chi, 15, freshman Melanie Lullaby, 16, sophomore

Bon, Bonnie tompson, 15, sophomore

Cynthia, sophomore, 16, either badminton of volleyball

Jack, junior, 16, Plays Hockey

Jeremy, 17, junior

Charlie, junior, 17, likes chemistry

teachers/principal

Rust, Tom bishop, 61, Workshop teacher and PE coach

Jiro, 52, History

Duke, August Lindenhurst, 50s, Art teacher

John wick, 40, English teacher

Dragan, 45, PE coach

Bonnie, 43, Math teacher

Mrs. Spindle, 68, Maria Alcantara,

Viktor, some kinda history, Mr. Simon

Severn Mcmillan, 27, Science, Mr. Mcmillan

[crossoverquest]

Behold: An idea fresh off my Reddit account.

As someone who recently learned about the International Cures, I wanted to make a Cure Team that represents my homeland of Florida, and I call my idea the Inaka Musume Cures. The Inaka Musume Cures grew up listening to country music and have named their Cure egos and attacks after country music and things that originate from my homeland that I'm familiar with.

Ken - Gender: Male - Age: Unknown, young for his kind - Favorite Songs: Leap of Faith by Big & Rich

A red fairy who resembles Tsubasa's avian form. He came to Earth from a dimension where all manners of music flourished and sought a Cure Team that could help him defeat a group of demons that created the Blight of Silence, a corruption that brings an eerie silence and brainwashing upon whatever it covers and creates quiet monsters called Shizukana. Ken created the Musical Communes, vinyl record shaped cellular devices that give the Inaka Musume Cures their powers and act as a means of long distance communication. Ken was named after William Kenneth Alphin, also known as Big Kenny.

Maria Monta - Gender: Female - Age: 16 - Cure Ego: Cure Troy - Favorite Song: My Last Yeehaw by Cowboy Troy ft. Big & Rich

“Let the concert commence! I’m Cure Troy!”

A blue eyed and long haired blonde who wears the same kind of clothes Cowboy Troy himself likes to wear in peacetime. She's the daughter of a rice farmer whose family moved to Florida to widen their botanical scope. Maria co-owns a U-Pick field that specializes in strawberries, blueberries, and onions. As Cure Troy, Maria has access to a lasso and has proficiency in all forms of Martial Arts. Her signature move is the Precure Rollin' Dynamic, a move that amplifies her voice and turns it into a purifying shockwave.

Evelyn Longoria - Gender: Female - Age: 15 - Cure Ego: Cure Manta - Favorite Songs: Every Karaoke Track of Swing by Trace Adkins, Down and Out by Tantric

“Going with the flow like water! I’m Cure Manta!”

Evelyn Longoria is a hazel eyed redhead who likes to wear clothes of baseball themed persuasion. Her favorite team is the Tampa Bay Rays, and that led to her Cure Ego having water themed powers. She can manipulate water and ice and use them in baseball themed attacks. Her signature move is the Precure Aqua Screw; an nigh unpredictable ball of magic water that explodes into a torrent that’s about the size of the Precure Marble Screw's beam.

Anne Driskell - Gender: Female - Age: 16 - Cure Ego: Cure Hardee

“My shield for justice and honor forever! I’m Cure Hardee!”

Anne Driskell has orange eyes, hazel hair, yellow clothes, and is the fairest of face out of all of the Inaka Musume cures. Her Cure Ego, Cure Hardee, has a tortoise theme; her shell allows her to ward off all but the strongest offenses. Anne's prone to dimwittedness inside and outside of battle, but she's not to otherwise be underestimated. Her signature move is the Precure Artillery Shell Dynamic. It allows Cure Hardee to retreat into her shell and give it enough energy to create a small explosion of purifying light wherever she lands next.

Allies:

Ena Monta - Gender: Female - Age: 42 - Favorite Song: Bagutte Iijan by HKT48

Maria's twin mother, Ena, is the analogue to Sanae Yukishiro; she figured out that Maria was a Cure through careful observation, but she didn't tell her that she knew, as she believed that she wasn't supposed to and that Maria would worry if she knew that she knew. Ken wasn't any the wiser until Ena saw through his plush bird disguise and had a heart-to heart with him. The message of Ena’s favorite song is the definition of the very philosophies she lives by.

Kiki "Key Lime Pie" West - Gender: Female - Age: 19 - Favorite Song: Hot Potato by The Wiggles, any songs that are targeted toward youthful demographics.

Kiki is a Key Lime Pie themed children's musician with proficiency in the Banjo. She was Cerfeuil's apprentice in Cook Fighting, but she left for Ken's dimension after she told her that she felt that a career in music would be more to her liking. Kiki hasn't returned to the CooKingdom since, but she wants to.

Little Citrus the Key Lime Pie Recipepe - Gender: Female - Age: Unknown, young for a Recipepe - Favorite Song: Every song that Kiki likes

A Recipepe that represents Key Lime Pie stowed away in Kiki's backpack when she left the CooKingdom. When Kiki found out about her mischief, she began to treat her like a daughter and called her Little Citrus. Little Citrus is very curious, as she couldn't stop herself from exploring Faulkenburg when they first arrived there. She was disappointed to learn from Kiki that Recipepes were uncommon in Florida, but that doesn't stop her from looking for her own kind. Little Citrus has a closeted liking of the food she represents. Kiki’s oblivious to this despite Little Citrus’s attempts at telling her. Little Citrus is the secondary mascot of the Inaka Musume Cures.

[thisisyourdriverspeaking]

Whilst everyone is talking about music because of Spotify Wrapped coming out today, here is another edition of Indy 500 tunes. Onto the 2000 edition of the Indy 500 - enjoy 😊😊

Greg Ray (Car 1) - Santana ft The Product G&B - Maria Maria

Juan Pablo Montoya (Car 9) - Enrique Iglesias - Be With You

Eliseo Salazar (Car 11) - Sonique - It Feels So Good

Robby Gordon (Car 32) - Eminem - The Real Slim Shady

Scott Sharp (Car 8) - Vertical Horzion - Everything You Want

Jeff Ward (Car 14) - Joe - I Wanna Know

Jimmy Vasser (Car 10) - Lonestar - Amazed

Stan Wattles (Car 92) - Kelly Price & Friends - Love Sets You Free

Robbie Buhl (Car 24) - Red Hot Chili Peppers - Otherside

Eddie Cheever (Car 51) - Clay Walker - The Chain Of Love

Mark Dismore (Car 28) - Mary Mary - Shackles (Praise You)

Robby McGehee (Car 5) - Destiny's Child - Say My Name

Scott Goodyear (Car 4) - Sisqo - Thong Song

Sam Hornish Jr (Car 18) - Santana ft Rob Thomas - Smooth

Donnie Beechler (Car 98) - Sting ft Cheb Mami - Desert Rose

Buddy Lazier (Car 91) - LFO - I Don't Wanna Kiss You Goodnight

Jason Leffler (Car 50) - Donell Jones - Where I Wanna Be

Al Unser Jr (Car 3) - Faith Hill - Breathe

Sarah Fisher (Car 15) - Pink - There You Go

Stephan Gregoire (Car 7) - NSync - Bye Bye Bye

Airton Dare (Car 88) - Eric Heatherly - Flowers On The Wall

Buzz Calkins (Car 12) - Aaliyah - Try Again

Richie Hearn (Car 75) - Trace Adkins - More

Raul Boesel (Car 55) - Mya ft Jadakiss - Best Of Me

Jimmy Kite (Car 27) - DMX - Party Up (Up In Here)

Jaques Lazier (Car 33) - Jay-Z ft UGK - Big Pimpin'

Steve Knapp (Car 23) - Montell Jordan - Get On It Tonite

Davey Hamilton (Car 16) - Creed - Higher

Jeret Scroeder (Car 6) - Macy Gray - I Try

Johnny Unser (Car 22) - Third Eye Blind - Never Let You Go

Billy Boat (Car 41) - Faith Hill - The Way You Love Me

Lyn St James (Car 90) - Lenny Kravitz - I Belong To You

Andy Hillenburg (Car 48) - Savage Garden - I Knew I Loved You

All added to this Spotify playlist 😊😊

[abwwia]

Maria Martinez (1887–1980) Photo by Susan Peterson, courtesy of the Heard Museum, Phoenix, AZ, USA, © Susan Peterson

Maria Martinez and Popovi Da, Polychrome olla, 1966; Polychrome redware pottery, 8 1/2 x 10 1/2 in. diameter; Eugene B. Adkins Collection at Philbrook Museum of Art, Tulsa, and Fred Jones Jr. Museum of Art, University of Oklahoma, Norman, ADKINS L2007.7061

[sasa-chans-random-history]

January 13

[1334] Henry II of Castile, King of Castile and León (1369-79), born in Seville, Spain.

[1505] Joachim II Hector, Elector of Brandenburg (1535-71), born in Cölln, Germany.

[1610] Archduchess Maria Anna of Austria, Electress of Bavaria by marriage to Maximilian I, Elector of Bavaria, born in Graz, Duchy of Styria.

[1865] Princess Marie of Orléans, French Princess by birth and Danish Princess by marriage to Prince Valdemar, born in Ham, London, England.

[1938] Tord Grip, Swedish football player and manager, born in Ytterhogdal, Sweden.

[1939] Jacek Gmoch, Polish football player, trainer and manager, born in Pruszków, Poland.

[1947] Carles Rexach, Spanish-Catalan football winger and manager, born in Pedralbes, Barcelona, Spain.

[1960] Takis Lemonis, Greek footballer and manager, born in Colonus, Athens, Greece.

[1962] Trace Adkins, American country singer and actor, born in Sarepta, Louisiana, United States.

[1966] Patrick Dempsey, American actor, born in Lewiston, Maine, United States.

[1968] Mike Whitlow, English football defender and coach (U-18 at League Two club Mansfield Town), born in Northwich, England.

[1970] Frank Kooiman, Dutch football goalkeeper, born in Vlaardingen, Netherlands.

[1977] Orlando Bloom, English actor, born in Canterbury, England.

[1980] Akira Kaji, Japanese football defender, born in Minamiawaji, Hyogo, Japan.

[1980] Nils-Eric Johansson, Swedish football defender, born in Stockholm, Sweden.

[1989] Bryan Arguez, American soccer defensive midfielder, born in in Miami, Florida, United States.

[1990] Liam Hemsworth, Australian actor, born in Melbourne, Victoria, Australia.

[703 AD] Empress Jitō, the 41st monarch of Japan, dies.

[858 AD] Æthelwulf, King of Wessex (839-858), dies.

[888 AD] Charles III, the Fat (Charles Le Gros) Emperor of the Carolingian Empire from 881-888, dies at about 49.

[1330] Frederick I (III), the Fair, Duke of Austria and Styria (from 1308) as well as the anti-King of Germany (1314-1325) and then the co-King until his death.

[1363] Meinhard III, Count of Gorizia-Tyrol, dies.

[1735] Princess Polyxena of Hesse-Rheinfels-Rotenburg, second wife of Charles Emmanuel, Prince of Piedmont, Queen of Sardinia (1730-35), dies at 28.

[1797] Duchess Elisabeth Christine of Brunswick-Wolfenbüttel-Bevern, Queen of Prussia and Electress of Brandenburg as the wife of Frederik II the Great, dies at 81.

[1879] Henry the Navigator, Prince of the Netherlands, 3rd son of King William II of the Netherlands, dies at 58.

[1932] Sophia of Prussia, Queen Consort of the Hellenes (1913-17) and (1920-22) as the wife of Constantine I of Greece, dies at 61.

[2004] Harold Shipman (Doctor Death), British GP and prolific serial killer, commits suicide by hanging himself in his cell at HM Prison Wakefield at 57.

[2014] Bobby Collins, Scottish football midfielder and manager, dies at 82.

[2017] Antony Armstrong-Jones, Lord Snowdon, British photographer and ex-husband of Princess Margaret, dies at 86.

[princelettow-archive]

joseph and faust @dykefaithseed because i love her deeply and i love the emotional support crackheads

[darkthingshappen]

Brother's Keeper: The Power of Music

This is a thank you all of my followers. I have now reached 300!!!! I had several requests for Ben fluffy. But I am me, so this fluff is... angsty. It's fluffy angst. Flangst™️.

I can't believe this many of y'all follow me for this. It's so much fun being on this hell site with all of you. I will try to write some actual fluffy fluff for my sweet Ben at some point, but there's so much fun pain in the current arc that I still have to deal with. Hahahahaha

As always, I'd like to say a HUGE thank you to the wonderful @whumpcereal for her amazing job betaing my story and poking and prodding where needed to make me a better writer. This story wouldn't be what it is with out her pushing me to "give" more.

Content warnings: nothing explicit, but a lot of alluded to or implied past trauma including implied past noncon.

Lastly, I have included links to some Youtube music in case you are not familiar with the songs mentioned in this piece or if you just wanna listen along while you read. They can be found at the end of the piece.

Tagging List: @i-can-even-burn-salad @peachy-panic @deluxewhump @arwenadreamer @whumpcereal @melancholy-in-the-morning @dont-touch-my-soup @whumpsday @keeper-of-all-the-random-things @whump-for-all-and-all-for-whump @oddsconvert @melennui @susiequaz12 @morning-star-whump @crystalquartzwhump @whump-and-other-things @mylifeisonthebookshelf @reflected-pain @hold-him-down @quietshae @sparrowsage @quietly-by-myself @no-terms-and-conditions-apply (I hope I’m not forgetting anyone - please let me know if I am and I’ll fix it. I’m still getting used to this) 

Ben laid curled up in a ball on his bed in the psychiatric hospital he’d been brought to upon his rescue from Volkov.  It hadn’t been what they had all hoped for.  The Adkins family had wanted to bring him straight home, but the intensity, frequency, and severity of his flashbacks had made that impossible.  So now, he was in an unfamiliar, sterile room in a near catatonic state.  He was safe, but he wasn’t home.  

Maria Adkins silently wondered if her youngest son would ever fully come home.  She sat in the chair next to his bed, but she didn’t reach for him.  They had to be so cautious with being near him, let alone touching him.  The boy she’d dreamed about wrapping in her arms for the entirety of his captivity couldn’t stand to be touched.  His eyes were open most of the day, they seemed to see everything and nothing all at the same time.  

There would be long stretches where he stared at the wall and rocked back and forth.  Other times his eyes darted around the room seeing terrors only he could see.  Ben had always been so bright and joyful, but now his soft brown eyes were haunted.  Would he ever come out from behind the walls he’d built around his mind?  Yes, he’d survived, but he wasn’t living, not yet anyway.  He’d shut himself away in his own head just so that he’d be able to cope with the trauma he’d had to endure.  

How long had he spent cooped up in that awful cage that she’d seen pictures of?  Her husband had tried to shield her, but she had to know.  She’d snuck into his office and flipped through the files.  She’d stopped when she saw the chains attached to that monster’s bed frame.  

How was she supposed to get through to him after the horror’s he’d been forced to endure?  She wanted nothing more than to pull him into her arms and hold him like she did when he was a small child, but it was the one thing she couldn’t do.  Her baby was lost.  He was here, but he was utterly lost.  They needed a lifeline that would help him find his way back home from wherever he was in his head.  That’s why she’d asked Zoe to come today. She only hoped it would help. 

There was a soft knock at the door.  It opened with a click, and Zoe’s bright red head poked in.  

Mrs. Adkins smiled at her.  “Hey, honey, thanks for coming.” 

“Of course,” Zoe whispered, coming into the small room, a large black case on her back.  “I’m happy to help.  How is he doing today?”

Maria smiled at the young woman.  Benny and Zoe had been thick as thieves since they were sixteen-years-old.  Maria adored Zoe; she was a good match for her boy.  They were both academically gifted, but Zoe had spirit, which kept Ben on his toes.  He needed that.  

“Mostly the same.  A lot of rocking today.  I wish I knew what he was seeing.”  

She smiled sadly at Zoe.  They were so young, almost children still.  They shouldn’t be dealing with this level of evil.  They should be studying and debating the great mysteries of life.  They should be figuring out who they were.  Zoe was wholly dedicated to Ben.  She’d, at a minimum, stopped by at least once a day every day since he’d come home.  The first visit had been the hardest.  Like they had all accidentally done, she’d reached out and combed her fingers through his hair before anyone could stop her, and he’d devolved into a flashback and full on panic attack.  Zoe had left sobbing into Jake’s shoulder while he tried to tell her it was okay, that it wasn’t her fault.  

Maria half-expected Zoe to be afraid to come back.  She’d spoken to Zoe’s mother, and it was evident they thought their daughter should try to move on.  But they were good people and would trust their daughter.  They didn’t want her to be hurt, and Ben’s disappearance had hurt more deeply than anything else Zoe had ever gone through.  

Maria was a mom, she understood.  But Zoe was a lover.  When she came the next day, there was a fierceness in her eyes that Maria recognized in her own expression.  Zoe was in it for the long haul.  Ben was hers, and she wasn’t about to let go.  Maria approved.  

Zoe’s eyes moved to Ben’s curled up form.  Her red eyebrows knit together in concern.  “Yeah, but I think whatever it is he’s seeing must be pretty scary.  Ben was never afraid of much.  He was always so protective of me.  I can’t imagine how bad things got to make him like this.”

Things had gotten bad.  Zoe didn’t know the half of it.  Maria hoped she never would, but she had a feeling that the determined little Irish girl in front of her would find out, one way or another.  Maria wished to God that she could shield her, shield them both, but despite the fact that she still saw them as children, they weren’t.  Not anymore.  There was an innocence that that monster had stolen from both of them.  

“You brought your cello?” Maria asked.

“Just like you asked.  You really think it’ll help?”

“You know how much he loved hearing and watching you play.”

Zoe blushed slightly.  “I loved playing for him.  He was my biggest cheerleader.” Zoe laughed softly at a memory.  “He cheered like he was at a Penguins game.  The rest of the audience would be politely applauding and he’d be on the first row, whistling and cheering.”  Her expression grew wistful as her eyes darted back to him.  “You know I always told him I hated that and that it embarrassed me.  But, all it took was one concert without it for me to know I really loved it.” Her voice was suddenly quiet. “I’ve barely played since then.  I missed two recitals.  I just couldn’t do it without him there.  It was too quiet.”

Zoe wiped a stray tear off her cheek.  “He was always there for me, since we were sixteen.  Maybe this can help me be there for him.”

Mrs. Adkins rubbed Zoe’s back.  “If this doesn’t work, it’s okay.  It’s not on you, honey, to bring him back.  You’ve been hurt through all this too.  We all have.”  She gave Zoe’s shoulder a squeeze.  “It doesn’t change the fact that you love him and he loves you.”

Zoe swallowed and nodded.  

“Here.  You take the chair, and get set up.  I’ll be back in a bit and I’ll see if I can get another chair in here.”  She patted Zoe’s shoulder again and stepped out of the room.  

*!*!*!*!*

Zoe’s hands shook a little as she set up her cello.  She set the endpin in the rest stop and then rosined her bow.  She gazed at Ben, curled up in the fetal position and rocking slightly.  Most of the time his eyes were open, but every now and then he would squeeze his eyes shut and his body would shake with some horrible memory that he couldn’t cope with.  Zoe suspected much about what had happened to him.  

Whether this worked or not, she was determined to find out.  She couldn’t help him if she didn’t know.  She knew Ben’s parents would never tell her.  But Jake might be persuaded.  Or intimidated.  Zoe wasn’t above emotional manipulation if it meant she could help Ben.  She loved Jake like a brother, but she wasn’t blind.  Jake was the connection to that monster and why Ben had been taken in the first place.  He owed her, and Ben.  

“Hey, Benny.” She angled her body and cello slightly, so that she was able to see him full on with her back to the door of the room.  “I learned a new song that you haven’t heard me play before.  It’s the only thing I’ve felt since you’ve been gone.  I missed you, bestie.  It’s been so quiet without you.  So, here we go…”

The mournful strains of Simon and Garfunkel’s “The Sound of Silence” soon filled the room.  The notes were deep to begin with, but on a cello, there was no comparison as the rich tones of the music resounded from the walls.  By the time she got to the line, silence like a cancer grows, Zoe’s tears were coursing down her cheeks and dripping off her chin to run down the length of her cello.  She poured every ounce of the loss she’d felt during all the time that Ben was gone into that melody.  

Zoe had panicked when her small touch had sent Ben spiraling.  She worried it was a rejection of her.  But Jake had explained that he’d reacted the same to each of them.  Touch-averse was the word he said the doctors used.  Touch-averse.  The man who was always so tender and affectionate with her.  The man who held her hand when they walked to the park, the man who was always ready to throw his arms around her.  The man that was always her support, physically and mentally, was touch-averse.  It had seemed like a cruel cosmic joke at first.  Her parents had told her it was okay if she moved on.  They told her the Ben from before was most likely gone.  They weren’t wrong, Ben would never be the same.  But that was true for all of them. Zoe would never be the same either, and she didn’t want to be–she had to move forward with Ben. 

Zoe poured everything she had into reading up on touch averse therapies and long term recovery options.  It was too soon to tell if this would be lasting.  And Zoe loved Ben more than anything in the whole world.  And when you love something, you fight for it.  So she came back, day after day after day.  

When she finished the song, the deafening silence echoed back at her from every corner of the room as last notes fluttered in the air.  

Quietly, Mrs. Adkins stepped back into the room, wiping her own tears.  The two women understood each other.  Zoe took a deep breath and started the next tune.  In her head she sang, softly and sweetly, Joyful joyful we adore thee, God of Glory, Lord of Love; Hearts unfold like flow’rs before thee, op’ning to the sun above. Melt the clouds of sin and sadness, drive the dark of doubt away.  Giver of immortal gladness, fill us with the light of day.  

This was one of Ben’s favorite hymns.  He’d always loved the simplicity of it.  The tune, the words, the hope.  He thought they were beautiful.  She’d laughed the first time she’d scrolled through his music and found no less than twelve versions of the same hymn.  Fast ones, slow ones, classical versions, a version from a popular 90’s movie.  It didn’t seem to matter, Ben loved them all.  He was no singer, but as they grew up and grew closer, Zoe loved to hear him frequently humming this sweet melody.  If he was feeling silly, he might belt it out at the top of his lungs.  It was his go-to happy tune.  Zoe suspected his mother had something to do with that.  

Zoe played.  She sang through every verse.  She wasn’t sure exactly when Mrs. Adkins joined in, but her sweet voice filled the room mingling with the lovely chords dancing under Zoe’s fingers.  Together, they both sang the final verse of the song, Ever singing, march we onward, victors in the midst of strife.  Joyful music leads us sunward, in the triumph song of life.  

Slowly, Zoe finished out the notes, but her eyes weren’t on her cello, they were on Ben’s.  They were clear, and he was watching her.  At some point, his lips had started moving along with the words of the song.  Zoe made a snap decision and kept playing.  She’d already played through the whole thing once, but she couldn’t let him retreat.  Not when he was here in this moment.  She played it over again, the entire glorious hymn.  

Mrs. Adkins sat on the floor next to Ben’s bed, her hand resting softly on the sheet beside him. Ben’s hand moved slightly from where it had been curled up under his chin to just next to his mother’s hand.  Their fingers brushed slightly, and he didn’t pull away.  Zoe watched with tear- filled eyes as Maria moved her fingers over his, slowly and gently, and held his hand.  They both held their breath for a second and then released when he made no move to pull away.  Zoe could see the tears trickling down her cheeks.  Ben didn’t talk, but he looked between the two of them while he mouthed the words.  Zoe smiled at him while her fingers sang the tune.  When she finally did reach the end of the song, and the gentle notes still hung in the air, she looked at Ben.

“Hi, it’s good to see you again.  I’ve really missed you.”

Ben had tears in his eyes, and they spilled down his cheek at her words. His lips started to move, but he didn’t make a sound. Zoe smiled at him.

“It’s okay.  You don’t have to say anything right now.  You just rest so you can heal.  I’ll keep playing.”

He gave her a weak half-smile.  

Zoe’s fingers started to move again, and the delicate notes of “Brahms' Lullaby” filtered through the room.  Mrs. Adkins hummed along;  Zoe remembered her saying that she used to hum that song to him when he was a baby.  Like “Ode to Joy,” she continued to play as she watched Ben grow sleepy, his eyes drooping, but for once not filled with terrors, but soft memories and safety.  Soon, he was sleeping, real sleep, a sleep that was deep and natural.  

Zoe played long after he’d fallen asleep, in an attempt to ward off the nightmares that so often disturbed his slumber.  She played through suites, opuses, odes, and lullabies.  It was the longest concert she’d ever performed, but she wouldn’t have had it any other way.  Ben had been home, really home, even if just for a few minutes.  It was progress.  

She was utterly exhausted when she packed up her cello hours later.  But the exhaustion was tempered with satisfaction.  It had worked.  They’d successfully drawn him out from behind the walls he’d hidden behind.  

Mrs. Adkins enfolded her in a mother’s embrace.  “Thank you for this, Zoe.  I think we can see a little light at the end of the tunnel.  Just a bit.”

“I hope so.  I’ll come back tomorrow and play some more.”

“That would be great.  Get some rest.  I’m sure that was tiring.”

“Worth every ache just to see him look at me for real.”

“Yes.  Me too.”

Zoe walked over to Ben and dared to touch his shoulder.  He was sleeping soundly and did not stir.  She started to lean down to kiss him and glanced at his mom for permission.  Mrs. Adkins was still sitting next to him, still holding his hand.  The older woman smiled warmly at her and nodded.  

Zoe leaned down and gently pressed her lips to Ben’s temple.  Her fingers grazed the deep scar over his cheekbone where he’d clearly been beaten.  

“I love you, Benny Bear,” she whispered into his ear.  She stood and gathered her music, stand, and instrument.  It took her a few minutes to get everything packed away.  

“See you tomorrow, Mrs. Adkins,” Zoe said, with a yawn as she shrugged her cello bag onto her back. 

“Yes, darling.  I’ll see you tomorrow.  I know he can’t say it right now, but he loves you very much.”

“I know.  But thank you for telling me.  I hope you know how much I love him.”

She would have given anything to hear Ben say it, but knowing his mother knew it meant she could wait until he could say it himself again.  And he would.  She was certain of that.  She might not know the timeline, but she would get him back.  There was no world in which Maria and Zoe wouldn’t fight with all they had to pull him back from the brink of the nightmare world he was trapped in.  

“Oh, I know how you feel,” Mrs. Adkins said. “You’re so good with him.  I know it’s hard, but you’re doing great.”

Zoe smiled at this.  “So are you.”  

They both shared a sad, but hopeful smile with each other before Zoe turned for the door.  

*!*!*!*!*

Mrs. Adkins watched the young woman leave.  

“Benny, my boy.  I know you think you hid that ring where I couldn’t find it.”  She delicately ran her thumb along the back of Ben’s hand.  “But you picked the perfect girl.  She’s amazing, and I truly hope I get to see the two of you married one day.”  

Mrs. Adkins settled in a bit more comfortably on the bed and returned to humming Brahms’ Lullaby.   She didn't let go of Ben’s hand.  

*!*!*!*!*

Ben sighed in his sleep. In his dreams, he drifted back in his memories to a time before Volkov and all the horror.  He ran his fingers along the glass countertops of the jewelry store.  

That one!  That was it.  He pointed down to a delicate band of white gold; Zoe didn’t like yellow or rose gold.  The band was simple, but the diamond set was ornate.  It was surrounded with multiple different types of green gemstones - emerald, peridot, tourmaline, green sapphire, and kiwi topaz.  It was perfect.  The multiple shades of green reflected the deep clear green of her eyes.  

Ben smiled broadly as he made his choice.  He was ready, or as ready as he’d ever be, to propose to his girl.  He glanced out the window to the bright sunny afternoon and whooshed out a nervous breath.  This was it.  He was really doing it.  He was buying an engagement ring.  

He’d known it was Zoe from the minutes he’d seen her.  Maybe not literally, but it felt like that.  They just fit together - they got each other.  As he was handed the ring in its little box, he couldn’t help but hum his favorite hymn. He walked out the door with “Ode to Joy” on his lips. 

Somewhere in the air above him as he headed for the park, he heard the notes of Brahms' Lullaby drifting through the air.  

Ben sighed contentedly in his sleep, his fingers flexing to grip his mother’s.  For once, his dreams were happy and the pain was forgotten, held at bay by the music he knew was just for him. 

[sleeponacott]

“I am the Grand Duchess Anastasia Nikolaevna Romanova.”

[christinealtomare]

From Zach Adkins’ Instagram story (Oct. 2, 2018).

[earith]

kelliyoungman Hey #fanastasias! @mariarosebriggs and I will be working our @anastasiabway table after the show! Come say hi at #broadwayfleamarket and support @bcefa! 💕

zachmadkins YESSSS 🎃

[forr-everrmorre]

Principal Understudies for Anastasia on Broadway

since the understudies are all amazing ensemble members, this is just a little appreciation post for the times they understudied principal roles. I did some digging to find various things for all of them and I’ll try to update this post periodically whenever new photos or understudies get added.

if I’m missing anything, please let me know! I want this list to be as complete as possible. (also if anyone has downloads of the cast’s old instagram stories, that would be great, because some of the cast members use their stories like crazy and they had some good content.)

most things taken from the cast or Davy Mack’s Instagrams. all their Instagrams are listed if they have one. technically Wes does have an Instagram, but it’s private.

Anya

Kathryn Boswell (Swing) - @kathryn_boswell

Anya debut: x

Audio of Quartet At The Ballet: x

Live versions of Journey To The Past: x, x

Live version of In A Crowd Of Thousands: x

Various backstage: x, x, x, x, x, x

Curtain calls: x, x

Molly Rushing (Ensemble - Young Anastasia & Paulina) - @mollyisrushing she technically hasn’t made her debut as Anya yet, but she is an official Anya understudy!

Live version of In A Crowd Of Thousands: x

Dimitry

Zach Adkins (Ensemble) - @zachmadkins

Dimitry debut: x

Audio of My Petersburg: x

Audio of In A Crowd Of Thousands: x

Clip of My Petersburg: x

Live versions of My Petersburg: x, x

Live version of We’ll Go From There: x

Live versions of In A Crowd Of Thousands: x, x

Various backstage: x, x, x, x, x, x, x, x, x, x, x

Curtain calls: x, x

Kyle Brown (Ensemble - Prince Siegfried) - @kylejbrown001

Dimitry debut: x

Audio of Quartet At The Ballet: x

Various backstage: x, x, x, x

Curtain calls: x

Vlad Popov

Ken Krugman (Ensemble - Gorlinsky & Count Leopold)

Appearance in Royal Misfits Episode 1: x

Ian Knauer (Swing) - @theianknauer

Appearance in Royal Misfits Episode 1: x

Various backstage: x, x, x

Gleb Vaganov

Constantine Germanacos (Ensemble - Tsar Nicholas II & Count Ipolitov) - @constantineroman

Gleb debut: x

Various backstage: x, x, x, x,

Wes Hart (Ensemble - Doorman)

Audio of Quartet At The Ballet: x

Various backstage: x, x

Dowager Empress

Jennifer Smith (Ensemble)

Appearance in Royal Misfits Episode 3: x

Countess Lily Malevsky-Malevich

Lauren Blackman (Ensemble - Tsarina Alexandra) - @laurblackman

Lily debut: x

Various backstage: x

[oohlordhealthisbike]

Open for bootleg trading~

Hello all! I am posting my bootleg list here for now as a temporary list until I get my website up and running- I am open to trading! I’m mainly looking for any Cats production- preferably English or Dutch but any musical would be nice to have and expand my collection. 

Addams Family - Broadway - March 12, 2010

FORMAT: .VOB w/o smalls

CAST:Nathan Lane (Gomez Addams), Bebe Neuwirth (Morticia Addams), Terrence Mann (Mal Beineke), Carolee Carmello (Alice Beineke), Kevin Chamberlin (Uncle Fester), Jackie Hoffman (Grandma), Zachary James (Lurch), Wesley Taylor (Lucas Beineke), Krysta Rodriguez (Wednesday Addams), Adam Riegler (Pugsley Addams)

NOTES: Video quality isn't the best, and audio is sometimes on the softer side. Still a very entertaining show.

Anastasia - Broadway - September 6, 2017

FORMAT: (VOBs w/ smalls)

CAST: Christy Altomare (Anastasia), Derek Klena (Dmitry), John Bolton (Vlad), Ramin Karimloo (Gleb), Caroline O'Connor (Lily), Mary Beth Peil (Maria Feodorovna), Zach Adkins, Sissy Bell, Lauren Blackman, Kyle Brown, Janet Dickinson, Constantine Germanacos, Wes Hart, Ken Krugman, Shina Ann Morris, James A. Pierce III, Molly Rushing, Nicole Scimerca, Johnny Stellard, Allison Walsh (Ensemble)

Aladdin - Broadway, 2014-Nov-05 (SunsetBlvd79‘s master)

Format: VOB + smalls (7.58 GB)

CAST: Adam Jacobs (Aladdin), Courtney Reed (Jasmine), Merwin Foard (s/b Jafar), Michael James Scott (s/b Genie)

NOTES: Beautiful HD capture of latest Disney Broadway offering. Great to see the changes from the Toronto tryout. Michael and Merwin do terrific jobs as Genie and Jafar.

Beauty and the Beast New Zealand April 2006 - Proshot

Format: .VOB w/ smalls

Cast: Jade Steele, Russell Dixon, Glen Drake, Rob Ormsby, Gladys Hope

NOTES: Only the first act & first part of act two! 

Beauty and the Beast (Disney) - Broadway - July 27, 2007 (Unknown's video master)

CAST: Anneliese van der Pol (Belle), Steve Blanchard (Beast/Prince), Jamie Ross (Maurice), Chris Hoch (Gaston), David DeVries (Lumière), Jeanne Lehman (Mrs. Potts), Glenn Rainey (Cogsworth), Ann Mandrella (Babette), Trevor Braun (Chip), Aldrin Gonzalez (Le Fou)

NOTES: Two days before the show closed on Broadway. Good amount of closeups and good quality filmed from the mid-mezzanine; there is a railing issue for a while in Act 1 but the taper improves. 'Me', 'Gaston' and 'Be Our Guest' are all predominantly missing and recording stopped for some time after 'Gaston', which created a little jump in the timeline to where Maurice gets thrown out of the tavern. Still a nice video with great closeups of the last Broadway cast.

Beauty and the Beast - Music Theatre of Wichita (2016)

FORMAT: .VOB w/ Smalls

CAST: Catherine Charlebois, Thaddeus Pearson, Johnny Stellard, Steve Hitchcock, James Beaman, Katie Banks-Todd, Karen L. Robu, Lexis Danca, James Heinrichs, Timothy W. Robu, Tanner Pflueger, John Boldenow

Notes: Pro-Shot. Filmed using one camera on a tripod with excellent clear picture and sound.

Cats - Hamburg - August 21, 1999 (Unknown's video master)

FORMAT: MP4 (2.9 GB) CAST: Julia Howson (Grizabella), Stefano Bontempi (Alonzo), Sean McGrath (Admetus/Macavity), Daymon Montaigne Jones (Bill Bailey/Tumblebrutus), Donna Hagan (Bombalurina), Lachlan Youngberg (Bustopher Jones/Gus/Growltiger), Marie Dumas (Cassandra), Valentino McKinney (Coricopat), Juliann Kuchocki (Demeter), Marni Raab (Jellylorum), Nadja Solovieva (Jennyanydots), Clinten Pearce (Mr. Mistoffelees), Deon Ridley (Mungojerrie), Matthew Pike (Munkustrap), Werner Kraus (Old Deuteronomy), Adrianne Richards (Rumpleteazer), Siegmar Tonk (Rum Tum Tugger), Japheth Myers (Skimbleshanks), Angela Roczkov (Tantomile), Rebecca Sutherland (Victoria), Damian Kacperski (Pouncival), Tracey Packham (Sillabub) NOTES: very good quality for the time! Great audio as well. 

Cats - Broadway Revival - August 13, 2016 (Unknown's video master)

FORMAT: .VOB w/o Smalls

STAGE: Broadway

CAST: Leona Lewis (Grizabella), Giuseppe Bausilio (Carbucketty), Kim Faure (Demeter), Lili Froehlich (Electra), Sara Jean Ford (Jellylorum), Eloise Kropp (Jennyanydots), Ricky Ubeda (Mr. Mistoffelees), Andy Huntington Jones (Munkustrap), Quentin Earl Darrington (Old Deuteronomy), Shonica Gooden (Rumpleteazer), Tyler Hanes (Rum Tum Tugger), Jeremy Davis (Skimbleshanks)

NOTES: Some people walking across the image for a few seconds during Jennyanydots and Rum Tum Tugger's number. Sometimes a head is visible but not obstructing the action. Almost no white-outs with very good video quality. Audio is very crisp as well. Filmed from a higher seat, but zooms are excellently done and fluent. Overal an amazing bootleg!

Cats - Sixth National Tour - March 15, 2019 (thehouseonsunset's video master)

CAST: Keri René Fuller (Grizabella), Phillip Deceus (Alonzo), Tyler John Logan (Admetus/Macavity), Devin Neilson (Bill Bailey/Tumblebrutus), Lexie Plath (Bombalurina), Timothy Gulan (Bustopher Jones/Gus/Growltiger), Mariah Reives (Cassandra), PJ DiGaetano (Coricopat), Liz Schmitz (Demeter), Maria Failla (u/s Jellylorum), Emily Jeanne Phillips (Jennyanydots), Tion Gaston (Mr. Mistoffelees), Tony D'Alelio (Mungojerrie), Dan Hoy (Munkustrap), Brandon Micheal Nase (Old Deuteronomy), Rose Iannaccone (Rumpleteazer), McGee Maddox (Rum Tum Tugger), Ethan Saviet (Skimbleshanks), Halli Tolland (Tantomile), Laura K Kaufman (u/s Victoria), Anthony Zas (Pouncival), Ahren Victory (Sillabub)

NOTES: Audio is soft in some parts and has a shaky camera. Good video though, nice zooms and high quality. 

Cats 1998 Film - (Pro-shot).

FORMAT: MP4 CAST: Elaine Paige (Grizabella), John Mills (Gus the Theatre Cat), Ken Page (Old Deuteronomy), Rosemarie Ford (Bombalurina), Michael Gruber (Munkustrap), John Partridge (Rum Tum Tugger), Aeva May (Demeter), Geoffrey Garratt (Skimbleshanks), James Barron (Bustopher Jones), Jo Gibb (Rumpleteazer), Drew Varley (Mungojerrie), Susie McKenna (Jennyanydots), Jacob Brent (Mistoffelees), Susan Jane Tanner (Jellylorum), Phyllida Crowley Smith (Victoria). NOTES: pro-shot version of the musical. Multiple cameras and HD video and audio. 

Cinderella - Broadway - March 2, 2013

FORMAT: VOB + smalls

CAST: Laura Osnes (Ella), Santino Fontana (Prince Topher), Victoria Clark (Fairy Godmother), Harriet Harris (Evil Stepmother), Ann Harada (Charlotte)

NOTES: Very good view of the stage, sometimes zooms are a bit slow but it's not bothersome. Very enjoyable experience.

Evita - Costa Mesa - December 14, 2013

FORMAT: (VOBs w/ Smalls)

CAST: Caroline Bowman (Eva), John Riddle (u/s Che), Sean MacLaughlin (Peron), Krystina Alabado (Mistress), Christopher Johnstone (Magaldi)

Kinky Boots - Broadway - May 26, 2017 (Opening Night) (Audio)

CAST: Brendon Urie (Charlie Price)

FORMAT: M4A

NOTES: Brendon is amazing in the role, the audio is not really HD, but it’s still really fun to listen to, especially for P!ATD fans like me haha. 

Legally Blonde - Broadway - 2007-Oct-25

Format: VOB no smalls (4.11 GB)

CAST: Becky Gulsvig (u/s Elle Woods), Andy Karl (u/s Emmett Forrest), Richard H Blake (Warner Huntington III), Orfeh (Paulette), Kate Shindle (Vivienne Kensington), Nikki Snelson (Brooke Wyndham/Shandi), Michael Rupert (Professor Callahan), Haven Burton (Margot), Tracy Jai Edwards (Serena), Asmeret Ghebremichael (Pilar), Matthew Risch (u/s Kyle/Grandmaster Chad/Dewey), Natalie Joy Johnson (Veronica/Enid), Kate Wetherhead (Kate/Chutney), Rod Harrelson (u/s Carlos)

NOTES: Great capture of the two understudies in the role. Shot from the orchestra with amazing shots. Starts in the middle of 'Omigod You Guys'.

Les Misérables - West End - November, 2018 (NYCG8R's master)

FORMAT: VOB (with smalls) (SD)

CAST: Dean Chisnall (Jean Valjean), Bradley Jaden (Javert), Carley Stenson (Fantine), Amara Okereke (Cosette), Toby Miles (Marius), Elena Skye (Éponine), Samuel Edwards (Enjolras), James Hume (u/s Thénardier), Vivien Parry (Madame Thénardier), Logan Clark (Gavroche), Andrew York (u/s The Bishop), Adam Filipe (u/s Grantaire), Barnaby Hughes (Combeferre), Joe Vetch (Feuilly), Oliver Brenin (s/w Courfeyrac), Ben Tyler (Jean Prouvaire), James Nicholson (Joly), Andrew York (Lesgles), Adam Bayjou (Brujon), Ciaran Bowling (s/w Babet), Sam Harrison (Claquesous), Ciaran Joyce (Montparnasse), Adam Bayjou (Factory Foreman), Anna McGarahan (Factory Girl), Anna McGarahan (Crone), Sam Harrison (Bamatabois), Ben Tyler (Pimp), Barnaby Hughes (Fauchelevent), Adam Bayjou (Champmathieu), Ciaran Bowling (s/w Major Domo)

Les Misérables - The All-Star Staged Concert - December 2, 2019 (Closing Night) (Pro-Shot's master)

FORMAT: MKV (HD)*

CAST: Alfie Boe (Jean Valjean), Michael Ball (Javert), Carrie Hope Fletcher (Fantine), Lily Kerhoas (Cosette), Rob Houchen (Marius), Shan Ako (Éponine), Bradley Jaden (Enjolras), Matt Lucas (Thénardier), Katy Secombe (Madame Thénardier), Earl Carpenter (The Bishop), Raymond Walsh (Grantaire), Craig Mather (Combeferre), Vinny Coyle (Feuilly), Niall Sheehy (Courfeyrac), James Nicholson (Jean Prouvaire), Ciaran Joyce (Joly), Andrew York (Lesgles), Leo Roberts (Brujon), Stephen Matthews (Babet), Oliver Jackson (Claquesous), Adam Bayjou (Montparnasse), Gavin James (Factory Foreman), Celia Graham (Factory Girl), Tamsin Dowsett (Crone), Earl Carpenter (Bamatabois), Oliver Jackson (Pimp)

NOTES: The digitally released proshot, edited differently to the live cinema stream.

Les Miserables - Broadway - Feb. 17, 2007

FORMAT: VOB + smalls

CAST: Alexander Gemignani (Jean Valjean), Norm Lewis (Javert), Daphne Rubin-Vega (Fantine), Gary Beach (Thenardier), Jenny Galloway (Mme Thenardier), Celia Kennan-Bolger (Eponine), Ali Ewoldt (Cosette), Adam Jacobs (Marius), Drew Sarich (u/s Enjolras)

Little Shop of Horrors - Encores! Off-Center-New York City Center, 2015-July-1 (Opening Night) (NYCG8R's video master)

Format: VOB + smalls (4.21 GB)

CAST: Jake Gyllenhaal (Seymour), Ellen Greene (Audrey), Joe Grifasi (Mushnik), Taran Killam (Orin), Eddie Cooper (Audrey II), Marva Hicks (Crystal), Ramona Keller (Ronnette), Tracy Nicole Chapman (Chiffon)

NOTES: Opening Night filmed from the very back of City Center, so there is some spotlight washout that's never too bad and a head that's shot well around.

Phantom Of the Opera - US Tour - August 12, 2015 (Unknown master)

FORMAT: VOBs w/ Smalls)

Chris Mann, Katie Travis, Storm Lineberger, Jacquelynne Fontaine, Edward Staudenmayer, David Benoit, Anne Kanengeiser, Frank Viveros, Morgan Cowling, Mark Emerson, Eric Ruiz, Edward Juvier, Dan Debenport, David Foley Jr., Allan Snyder, Christy Morton

Spider-Man - Turn off the Dark - Broadway - October 14, 2012

FORMAT: (VOBs)

CAST: Matthew James Thomas (alt. Peter Parker/Spiderman), Kristen Martin (u/s Mary Jane), Robert Cuccioli (Green Goblin), Katrina Lenk (Arachne).

NOTES: Post-Changes

The Book of Mormon - UK & Ireland Tour - 2019 (Rumpel's master-RARE)

FORMAT: .VOB (no smalls) (HD)

CAST: Kevin Douglas Clay (Elder Price), Connor Peirson (Elder Cunningham), Nicole-Lily Baisden (Nabulungi), Will Hawksworth (Elder McKinley), Ewen Cummins (Mafala Hatimbi), Thomas Vernal (General), David Brewis (Cunningham’s Dad), Tre Copeland-Williams (Doctor), Johnathan Tweedie (Prices Dad/Joseph Smith/Mission President), Cleopatra Isaac (Mrs Brown), Jemal Felix (Guard), Lukin Simmonds (Guard), Alex James-Hatton, David Brewis, Evan James, Fergal McGoff, George Crawford, Isaac Hesketh, Jed Berry

NOTES: One of the best videos of this show out there. Recorded from the right wing, doesn't miss any action. High quality video and excellent sound. Kevin is a very good Elder Price.

The Book of Mormon - Chicago - December 23, 2012 (SunsetBlvd79's master)

FORMAT:  VOB (with smalls) (HD)CAST: Nic Rouleau (Elder Price), Ben Platt (Elder Cunningham), Syesha Mercado (Nabulungi), Pierce Cassedy (Elder McKinley), James Vincent Meredith (Mafala Hatimbi), Christopher Shyer (Mission President), David Aron Damane (General)

The Book of Mormon - Broadway - March 1, 2011 (Preview) (NYCG8R's master)

FORMAT:  VOB (no smalls) (SD)

CAST: Andrew Rannells (Elder Price), Josh Gad (Elder Cunningham), Nikki M James (Nabulungi), Rory O’Malley (Elder McKinley), Michael Potts (Mafala Hatimbi), Lewis Cleale (Mission President)

Wicked - Broadway, 2013-May-12 (Lanelle's master)

Format:  M2TS (HD) - (24.02 GB)

CAST: Willemijn Verkaik (Elphaba), Katie Rose Clarke (Glinda), Kyle Dean Massey (Fiyero), Adam Grupper (The Wizard), Randy Danson (Madame Morrible), Catherine Charlebois (Nessarose), F Michael Haynie (Boq), John Schiappa (Doctor Dillamond)

NOTES: Filmed from the right orchestra, at a slight angle, but excellent quality. The taper originally released this as a blu-ray, 2-disc DVDs and 1-disc DVD, so make sure to get the version that best suits your needs.

Wicked - May 12, 2013 (Lanelle's master RIP WITH SUBS)

FORMAT: .MKV w/o Smalls, With English & Chinese Subtitles

CAST: Willemijn Verkaik (Elphaba), Katie Rose Clarke (Glinda), Kyle Dean Massey (Fiyero), Adam Grupper (The Wizard), Randy Danson (Madame Morrible), Catherine Charlebois (Nessarose), F Michael Haynie (Boq), John Schiappa (Doctor Dillamond)

NOTES: Warning- Moderate quality. Some quality of the original master has been lost through conversion from blue-ray to MKV. Has English and Chinese subtitles. Audio is great and video sometimes has some white-outs. 

Wicked - Broadway - January 2nd, 2015 (unknown master)

FORMAT: VOB w/o Smalls

CAST: Caroline Bowman (Elphaba), Kara Lindsay (Glinda), Matt Shingledecker (Fiyero), Tom McGowan (The Wizard), Kathy Fitzgerald (Madame Morrible), Robin de Jesus (Boq), Arielle Jacobs (Nessarose), Timothy Britten Parker (Dr. Dillamond)

NOTES: The camera moves a bit but follows the actors well. Some parts are a bit washed out but the audio is good. 

Wicked - Broadway, May 28, 2006 (Unkown master)

FORMAT: VOB w/o SmallsCAST: Eden Espinosa (Elphaba), Megan Hilty (Glinda) Derrick Williams (Fiyero), David Garrison (The Wizard), Carol Kane (Madame Morrible), Jenna Leigh Green (Nessarose)

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If you’re interested, please don’t hesitate to contact me! Like I said I would love any cats bootleg- especially the older ones in English and Dutch from like the 80′s till the 00′s. I am also looking for more diversity in my list- and I’m also looking for the classics- Dear Evan Hansen, Falsetto’s, some more Phantom Of the Opera, Mean Girls, Legally Blond, etc...