#march is complicated bc i am still using it

[spinoff-antithesis]

[@distinguished-turtle-enjoyer ]

i actually have not stopped thinkin bout your bb!edit like,,,, its so good and scratches my brain right

how long have you been doin edits for? do have any tips for someone, who hypothetically, wants to start doin edits too? what programs do you use? how did you do the cool animated bits?

im so sorry for all the qustions 😭😭 i just think youre very talented and inspirational and i hope you have a good day ^_^

hi firstly oh my gosh you're literally so sweet i am gently shaking you i love you so much /p. secondly, i apologize for the long answer! (it's all under the cut. this got away from me. i'm so sorry apparently i have a lot to say.) (also you're so good about the questions i would constantly be asking one of my professors questions during class to the point where she said i didn't have to go "i have a question" every time i approached her)

i've been editing since 2016! around march/april, i think? loved it so much i went into film & video production in college as a major so i could do editing for a living. (i have done more motion graphics for my classmates than i have done edits outside of class assignments, BUT!)

the program i use is after effects - i started learning it when covid first hit the united states because i had nothing better to do with my time (other than music theory but i failed that bc my professor focused more on the history aspects than the actual theory soooo) and my ipad kept giving me the "no more storage" whenever i tried to use videostar lmao. (vs has, apparently, gotten a LOT of good updates, so if you're looking to start editing and have an ios system, i'd look into it! only downside is you have to pay for some of the cool stuff).

also the program i use for masking (i think i explain this later dwdw) is superimpose. i've been using it since 2014 and it's SO nice bc i can use my fingers to erase backgrounds & stuff instead of hoping i can get it to work correctly in ae or photoshop (photoshop my DETESTED i'll use it but i'll complain the entire time).

for people who want to start editing: tutorials on how your program works and how to do specific transitions are gonna be your best friend when you're first figuring things out! i forced a friend to literally walk me through how after effects worked when i was first figuring it out, and when i had swapped to videostar back in 2017/2018(?) i had watched a Lot of tutorials. that and played around a lot and figured things out on my own - which is also always a good way to start!! it's also totally valid to look at other people's edits for inspiration - most editors don't really care, as long as you don't flat-out remake their edit (some people don't like that!). i have a style insp folder on instagram where i save edits that i like so if i need transition ideas or i'm doing a different style, i can look there for inspiration. at the end of the day, as long as you're having fun with it that's all that matters!

also, starting simple is always okay!! my edits for a year were just me slapping gifs & video segments together on a timeline in cute cut pro bc imovie didn't load them lol & it'd crash every time i breathed. ++ it never hurts to ask people for feedback/constructive(!!!) criticism/etc! (also not to sound like everyone else but practice? good. it's so good. if i showed my 14/15y/o self some of the edits i can make now they would've passed out on the spot bc i was still trying to figure out transitions back then. programs can also sometimes make a difference in edits, but usually it's not super noticeable until you start getting to the Complicated Shit.)

a lot of popular programs i've seen are ones like video star (ios only), alight motion (android only), after effects (i recommend 🏴‍☠️ing it tbh, i only use it legally bc i had to use adobe programs for school), capcut, and i think some people still use sony vegas pro & maybe cute cut pro (i've heard it may have actually gotten better since i last used it in 2018)? i have no idea. programs also depend on whatever device you're using to edit on! since i've been using my laptop, i'm able to use after effects (it's computer-only), but when i used my phone/ipad to edit i used ccp & vs.

for the animation - it's a lot of cutting up the image and masking! more complex animations, like the one i had of leo walking down that red 'hallway' have several different layers that have been masked. (i removed the background & filled in the spot where leo originally was in two different apps - superimpose (taking leo out) & photoshop (filling in the bg)) in after effects, the way i've done this was mask out the specific thing i wanted to move (like an eye) and then put that mask on what i've called a "base" (not animated), and then stick a solid behind the base to match the color of the object. (some of my layers are not named appropriately; base 2 is the left arm & the four "SIX_[...]" layers are the mask/bandana tails)

an example of this would be for any of the eye blink animations i did! this (above) is the same shot, with and without the eye - since it's masked out and i have the background solid behind it, it doesn't look too unnatural/have a black outline/mass where his eye should be.

what it looks like without the solid layer behind it ^ (the red lines are from the null layers - ignore that)

this is what my timeline looks like if it's a more simplistic animation - the only five things being animated here are leo & raph's eyes. (there's only this many layers bc it's two characters in one shot & i was also animating their pupils - typically, an eye-blink animation is about 4-6 layers for me (solid, base, mask, & null to animate with, 6 if i'm animating both eyes & 4 if just one))

in after effects, there's this really cool tool called the puppet pin that one of my friends (lovingly) yelled at me for not knowing about - which. yeah fair she wasn't wrong it's SUPER useful in animating, provided you chop up your image first. if you don't it's a mess.

(separated by layer vs i should've really put the mask tails & leo's head on separate layers and didn't bc that was the 2nd to last animation i had to do and i was losing my mind bc i wanted to be done with the edit lmao)

the way people animate depends all on their style (there's two common ways to do blinking animation - having the anchor point at the bottom of the eye, or the middle of it) and the program they use. it's been a while, but i could probably tell you how to do some basic animations on videostar still even though i've been doing them in after effects for about 2-3years now. ALSO the best way to have an animation be noticeable is to over-exaggerate it/make them Big - which, yes, can mean 'breaking bones' and having the limbs be a little wonky at the start. (if you want it to be realistic though go Just to the point where it looks uncomfortable lmao)

uhm. again i am so sorry that this is so long i THINK this is everything? if not: my inbox/dms are always open if you ever want to ask more questions, wanna follow up on something, etc etc!! (also if you ever start editing please send me your edits!!! i'd love to see them <3)

[morgenlich]

my ranking of the seasons is: fall, summer, spring, winter

i always crash hard in december, usually finals are either the last week of november or first week of december so i'm still dealing with that stress; my mom died in mid-december so there's that to deal with; i have a really complicated relationship with christmas (partly bc of that last point). also cold triggers my chronic pain i would in fact rather be too hot. it hurts to use my hands from december til like early april i will take being too hot over that any day

and then january-march everything is like cold and dead and it's dark out and yes i am a few weeks out from moving to northern germany i am aware and really hoping that living with a friend and in a city where there are Things To Do will help

[misqnon]

hi its march! my anon name changes with the months /j

ok thats fair if u didn't have a guess. maybe it just felt really obvious to me because i am... myself...

its hard NOT to ship op characters. they all have such fun dynamics!! hannyabul and magellan is like.. im being silly when i say i ship them,, but also they ARE kinda real boyfriends to me.

its such a shame when ppl ignore the silly side of zoro. he has a few extremely wholesome, adorable, fun moments with luffy in wano and.. yeah ... im excited for u to see the interactions they have. add that to the list of things i am excited for!! lol. do the 3 dangly earrings signify he uses 3 swords??? i Never noticed this but if so... thats genius?? either way they r so pretty and in wano they zoom in on his earrings multiple times and show them like . waving in the wind or something idk. its so .. i love it. one more thing im excited about LOL

IT *IS* THE SILVER FOX LOOK!!

HELL YEAH.. i honestly am not a huge fan of the wci arc. i really disliked it the first time i read it but i think there r a lot of things that contributed to that. i couldn't remember a lot of the story from before, i started it in the anime and then switched over to manga at some point so it was a bit of a jarring difference, i have complicated feelings about sanji, and i was really sleep deprived when i was reading it. it was super difficult to get through cuz it just felt like everything dragged on and on.. so when i was rereading i was really dreading coming back to that arc and having to slog through it again. but actually it wasn't that bad. its still nowhere near being a favorite for me, but it does have a lot of good moments. anyways i think u will have a much better time than me and im looking forward to seeing ur reactions!! (as usual)

dragon: "i miss my husband, sabo. i miss him a lot" /ref

one of the sanji tiktoks is actually extremely topical considering what arc ur on so ill probably send it when ur done with wci!!

i watched the scene u sent and!!! robin puts her WHOLE SOUL into that "i want to live!!!" i dont remember the japanese version that well tbh cuz its been so long since i watched it. so the dub is probably what i will remember when i think of that scene now...

i wont kill u for liking la luffy.... because i havent watched it yet LOL. i might end up agreeing with u (although tbh i doubt i will,, i tend to be more fond of things im familiar with). i like edgelord zoro but its only when he has a healthy amount of silliness to go along with it :( im very very sad to hear he isnt nearly as goofy in the live action. ive seen a few moments of him joking around but.. i miss u silly guy... i miss u....

live action usopp seems like he has more rizz than anime/manga usopp (forgive me for using slang. i have been told it sounds really odd when i do bc it sounds like an old man using it LOL). i think that is a very interesting choice!! cuz i love usopp and i do think hes really charming and a lovely person,, but i feel like him having 0 confidence in himself is so important to his character?? but he seemed like he was an enjoyable character to watch so maybe i shouldnt get too hung up on it.

tongue piercing doflamingo is canon to me too 🫡 its very fitting considering hes always doin something with his tongue

straw hat crew supports and encourages sanji to explore his gender because at the end of the day their friend is their friend and gender doesnt matter

im glad i didnt spoil anything phew!!

i will accidentally influence u to like law more. just like u influence me to like sanji more. tradeoff /j

penis death... yeah... penis death.... i love it.. its so insanely funny to me. penis death. also i find it funny that he seems to have a milder reaction to chopper saying it compared to luffy. like is that his soft spot for the cute reindeer showing?? is it bc theyre both doctors?? idk i like to analyze his relationships with the straw hats..

im procrastinating on the tierlist (im actually very busy irl with moving) but i will no t forget to send it,, i swear!!

u probably have turned on sending images in asks but i do this on my phone and im also.. kind of a tumblr noob.. so i dont know how to .. i will look it up. or just send the tierlist (when i make it) in a separate ask on my computer.

in terms of favorite characters we have in common: link, sesshomaru (i still haven't finished inuyasha. its been .. 10 years or something), kagamine rin (although tbh i like len more (im not actually that into vocaloid.. just a little?)), crowley, robin, doflamingo

i do know a lot of the characters on there but havent actually consumed the media theyre part of to feel super attached to them. i have too many things i plan to watch/read/play and i just end up not doing any of it LOL

i will keep trying for sure 🫡 ive been drawing a lot more recently. because.. im hyperfixating on anime characters. did i already say that

im pretty sure that any characters that have black eyes oda just makes them brown whenever their eye color is visible. and similarly, the anime just makes anyone with black eyes have grey or white. i dont know if oda has thought abt most of his characters eye color,, or if he actually does just plan for them all to have brown eyes. but headcanoning crazy eye colors is more fun imo!!

the anime notoriously does NOT know what colors things are. my favorite guy law has grey eyes in the anime and theyre gold in the manga.. which is devastating!? cuz gold is way more interesting and fitting and... yeah. i will forever be upset abt that. if they're gonna whiten all the characters to such a crazy level why cant they change the eye colors that are objectively WRONG (following manga canon)

brown is a good choice for luffy!!

i also love nami having brown eyes. they're pretty!!

grey definitely does work for zoro!! idk hes pretty no matter what.. and i cant clearly picture any color for him. i think most muted colors would look good

usopp having brown would look good too!! i was trying to think of the characters color pallets when i was imagining their eye colors and tbh hes worn a lot of brown so.

YEAH i saw that colorspread n that was why i was like . . yknow what... brown eyed sanji.. bc he looks very pretty there tbh. to go on a bit of a tangent, im kinda a blue eyed hater because my whole family (outside of my dad) has blue eyes . I've seen too much of it.. its boring. my mom has literal baby blues tho theyre so bright and. yeah its.. its striking.. its cool. its interesting. but the rest of us just have regular blue eyes. theyre dark and kind of grey. its too boring!!! and . therefore.. brown eyed sanji.. brown eyed sanji is best .

i am so .. i miss robins early design .. they kept her blue eyes (which again.. are objectively wrong according to manga canon) but they just had to make her like. the palest member of the straw hats. i love her having blue eyes so im not complaining that they didnt fix it but its like ... why did u fix one thing and not the other... i find that very frustrating. i wish they had just kept both her skin color and her eyes LOL. also cowgirl robin was so cool 😢

franky with pink eyes is SO GOOD??? tbh no matter what eye color he has i think it should be bright and vibrant

thats what i was thinking too!! the purple goes with his color scheme.

no worries abt not being able to reply <3

dressrosa is by far my favorite arc!! and then next i think is wano, egghead (the most recent arc), and impel down

those are my absolute favorites but other ones i like are arlong park, syrup village, punk hazard, sabaody/post war/return to sabaody, marineford (this would be another absolute favorite if not for the fact its so painful), whatever arc zoro joined in, drum island, skypeia, and.. controversially i do like fishman island despite also finding it a bit boring

i also rly enjoyed the reverie (it counts as a separate arc on the wiki) this one is apparently directly after wci.. i can never remember when it takes place chronologically. theres not really any action but i dont even care... i dont read for action

people dont like post timeskip one piece as much for some reason? its confusing to me bc almost all my favorite arcs are post timeskip.. im loving the focus shifting to the whole world.. and i love reading about huge world events. and i love theorizing about things. its all very fun

its really hard to choose just a few favorites LOL. i keep wanting to add other arcs i really enjoyed . augh.

what are YOUR favorite arcs :o

hello!!

no u’ve put me on the hannyabul and magellan train now. its my new otp. sorry. u did this

YEA HIS 3 EARRINGS ARE FOR HIS SWORDS!! and yes im. so excited for so MANY wano moments (that i know of but havent been completely spoiled for: everyone in beast pirate disguises, zoro and luffy reunion (+ everyone else ofc!) sanji’s raid suit and subsequent Germa Angst, THE ZORO / SANJI DEATH PACT??. DEMONIO FLEUR!?!??! (GOING TO LOSE MY MIND AT THAT ONE) AND MORE. and if theyre gonna be animation zoro’s earrings like that then damn. i got even more to look forward to on top of tht

i like wci but mostly for the sanji arc. i dont care much for the setting (although the alice in wonderland insp is cool!) and i actually love pudding but the fact she’s apparently 16 puts a bad taste in my mouth every time she’s on screen. it doesnt feel like its dragging on yet but as much as i do wanna continue i keep not having the motivation bc i know i still have quite a bit to go through vjbjfdkn. im glad u enjoyed it more ur second time tho!! (katakuri….gotta get to katakuri at least)

NOT THE DRAGON ROBOTNIK QUOTE JCCNSDKJN “i miss my wife tails”

and yes…YES……SANJITOK/…

HELL YES IM SO GLAD U WATCHED THE ROBIN SCENE. SHE DID PUT HER WHOLE SOUL INTO IT. FUN FACT I WATCHED A PANEL OF THE VOICE ACTORS ON YT AND THAT WAS THE FIRST AND ONLY TAKE . INSANE

yea the opla is so fun and a great ride but like anything it has its problems! although im still just amazed that it somehow seemed to break the live action anime curse and be the only one to do so with moderate success and yet it adapted. probably one of the hardest and longest anime to adapt ever. like how. do tell me if u watch it!! 

jacob is just too hot to play usopp is the issue- KNDFSJSKL /HJ. it’s definitely still played as fake confidence but its a different flavor of it for sure.

and yes beautiful. gnc sanji my beloved. transji my beloved. sanji forced to lipsync for his life by iva my beloved

i am completely ok with this character influencing btw. tradeoff initiated. i actually saw a law post and thought of u the other day!! i was gonna send it to u but i was like i’ll wait for the next letter…so here

idk if this is fanon or canon a lot but ppl say law has a cuteness to weak animals bc of bepo. robin core

THATS ACTUALLY SO FUNNY BC IM IN THE MIDDLE OF TRYING TO MOVE TOO AND AM ALSO BUSY FROM THAT JVBFJD

omg tumblr noob…i’ve been on this damn website for more than 10 years 😭

slay im glad we have some in common >:^) inuyasha was my first actual anime! and sesshomaru my first anime crush…wow. love that guy. [don’t watch the yashahime sequel. i dont wanna talk abt it 😐] and thats valid i love both the kagamine twins!!

i havent had time to draw but man…i draw like. in my mind. u know. i…i think about things…i COULD draw…that counts right,

i agree! i was surprised no one has asked in an SBS but i know it HAS to have been a question so maybe he has a reason he isnt answering??

I HEARD HIS EYES ARE GOLD IN MANGA WHICH IS SO FUCKING COOL?? GOLD EYES ARE MY ABSOLUTE FAV IN CHARACTER DESIGN!! and god. yea. yea. like oh okay you can get the colors wrong on everything and not change them to be right but u can make usopp whiter than a sheet. ok. i see how it is. they even lightened CHOPPER FOR PETE SAKE???

im not a blue eyed HATER but i definitely prefer brown eyes. as a brown eyes haver im pushing back on the blue eye supremacy with spite ‼️

dont even get me started on post timeskip robin. biggest downgrade. like at least franky is still himself and can change his hair and his face is still franky. someone else worded it best in saying oda took away so many features that made robin’s character design recognizable and unique that she feels like a completely different one. APPARENTLY robin was never supposed to be tan and anime assumed that too, but idc if u keep the blue then keep the skin color…its like. blatantly just colorism there

omg…DRESSROSA WAS VERY GOOD! that makes me think…hey have u seen this video . made by the same editor as the last one i sent u also…that makes me so excited to move forward. AND MAYBE ITS JUST BC IM GAY AS HELP BUT I LOOVVED IMPEL DOWN !! 70% FOR THE NEWKAMA AND 30% FOR CROCODILE

i didnt think fishman island was anywhere near as boring or badly paced as i heard. it was literally fine imo. not my favorite but not bad! except um. fishman island sanji can burn pls stop making me hate my favorite character (THOUGH I STAND BY RETURN TO SABAODY SANJI BEING WORSE THAN FISHMAN ISLAND. AT LEAST HE WASNT SNIFFIN PPL WHAT THE *FUCK* WAS THAT]

and i defintely see the post-timeskip haters points sometimes. there’s less time spent with the characters just. getting to interact and chill- partially bc the anime doesnt really do filler now but also partially bc now the crew is so large that oda never writes them all in one place. theyre always splitting up. and also the obvious things like robin getting sidelines and her design change, zoro is less silly, overall there’s less lightheartedness (although at times i can appreciate that). but the thing that bothers me most is it feels like oda got more brave with the off color jokes and sexualization and such. it was there pre timeskip (esp starting around thriller bark) but post timeskip its just like. sexualization and perv jokes are turned up to 200%. and yea im bitter bc sanji got worse in that aspect (although i actually prefer his post timeskip design! i like his stupid little goatee and his new suits/outfits are very nice! and his character development has obviously. gotten some spotlight) but damn if they couldnt give that to some of the other crew members too! though i digress. and ur right- the arcs and story HAVE improved and been super epic!

hmm..i think my favorite arcs would have to be [as of where i am currently] water 7/enies lobby, impel down, and dressrosa. whole cake will probably be up there when i finish it just bc of it being the My Guy Arc.

help im running out of one piece questions…uh…uh…any other strawhat headcanons? about anything!

p.s. i saw this and it made me laugh so hard

[comfortablyunsolved]

2022 summary (tw for sa and si). mostly just making this post to go back over my own year for myself + to have for posterity for Reflection Purposes idk:

january - STARTED TESTOSTERONE and got covid. that's pretty much it

february - by far the ugliest, most painful friend breakup i've ever been through but it needed to happen. in retrospect the friend was at best pretty inconsiderate and at worst abusive so ... yeah. w more time to reflect i've realized i also had my own faults in ways so i think it's ultimately just true that we brought out the worst in each other and it was for the best for us to part ways

march - my voice broke and started dropping!! it was so great!! went to nyc during spring break to see two of my best friends who i don't get to see very often and mean the world to me. seriously adore them

april - saw lorde (LIFE-CHANGING), got my giant stuffed rat that i'm still obsessed w, joined a (gender-inclusive) greek house at my school

may - weird situationship with this girl who's really lovely and we are still on friendly terms but it didn't work out lol

june - went to california for my brother's college graduation, saw most of my relatives for the first time since starting my transition and it was a bit awkward but overall pretty good

july - mostly school, partied a lot bc it was summer and whatnot. had The Drunken Makeout Incident That Started The Hell My Life Spiraled Into right at the end of the month

august - hell hell more hell. every corner of my life had drama blowing up in it, guy i made out with asked me to be his boyfriend and when i said i wasn't comfortable w that label yet he immediately went and told everyone we were boyfriends, he did some other questionable shit that i will not go into detail about and other ppl also did some other questionable shit and i was caught in the middle of it all having close friends on both sides and it was really bad! was pretty much constantly dealing with suicidal ideation and just wanting to run away somewhere

september - stuff settled down a little, i finally got the courage to break things off with this guy, made up w one of the friends i hadn't talked to after everything went down. really started changing my conception of social fulfillment in terms of who i spend time with and how, got a lot closer w the people i was living with in my house

october - mostly marching band is what i remember!! didn't do marching band first two years of college but i missed it a lot and had so much fun picking up a new instrument this season

november - everything immediately went downhill again. jarringly public twitter feud with the ex-friend from february, my childhood pet died, my dad had a medical emergency and had to go to the hospital, got contact traced for tuberculosis, the drama from the summer came back almost out of nowhere and it got even worse for me, realized i was probably assaulted by my ex from july/august, got my first c in a class ever, parents told me they're getting divorced. lmao.

and now it is december! despite how shit last month was i am feeling okay! studying abroad in aotearoa (new zealand) + the cook islands starting on new years eve so i will try to document that on here, the drama in all of its facets and complications will be waiting for me when i get back to campus in march but i'm gonna try to have as good of an experience as i can because it'll def be very once in a lifetime

[pointandshooter]

photo: David Castenson

Hothouse flowers 

Liz, Copper, and I traveled to Illinois this Labor Day weekend to visit family and celebrate her aunt’s 90th birthday. This is only the second time we have traveled to visit family since the pandemic began in March of 2020. According to Maps, our closest relatives live 737 miles (1186 km) from us, so we usually stay in hotels on our drive and at our destinations. When we were younger and without dogs (BC - before canines) we would just drive straight through.

Because Liz and I are both elderly and at high-risk for COVID complications, we have done everything possible to avoid catching the virus in the last 30 months. We are fully-vaccinated, double-boosted, and plan on getting the new vaccine this week. I telecommute full time, we avoid crowds, never dine out, never shop in-person, and always wear masks when in public. It probably seems extreme, but we reallly don’t want to get sick or have to deal with long-COVID. We already have enough health problems.

Unlike our previous trip to visit family last November, we seemed to be the only people taking precautions for COVID. I saw a total of ten people wearing a mask as we traveled through seven states. Maybe everyone has already had the virus, but I think they are just tired of the pandemic. Nobody gave us a hard time, even in the four Trump-loving states.

For the last two and a half years we have been eating healthy meals at home with green vegetables, no red meat, whole-grains, low-fat, and low-salt. On this trip, we ate foods we love, but are not used to eating - Sicilian style pizza, Chinese take-out, pork barbecue, potato salad, egg salad, macaroni salad, breakfast sausage and gravy. It all tasted good, but we didn’t feel that great the next day. 

I am still not ready to go back to a normal life. I don’t know if I ever will.

Maybe, in a year.

[ameliora-j]

before i fell // dm x reader

words: 2.8k

warnings: angst, talk of a breakup, mention of loss of virginity, mention of not eating, mention of not sleeping, pansy is kinda ooc and so is draco, the slytherins are assholes

a/n: i used a lot of olivia rodrigo lyrics bc i listened to SOUR while writing lol. lmk if i should add other warnings and happy reading babies!

you would be cliche and say that you fell in love the way that you fall asleep. slowly and then all at once. but you couldn’t because you didn’t. it wasn’t a john green novel and you weren’t hazel grace lancaster. falling in love wasn’t simple, and that description of it truly… didn’t describe anything. falling in love was more complicated than that. there were more layers to it than that. falling in love was rather… quick and unexpected. unexpected like snow in the middle of march. or rain when there’s not a cloud in sight. quick like waiting months for an event and finally when the time comes, it feels like you blinked and then it was over.

falling in love with draco malfoy was all of these things and more. falling in love with draco malfoy brought upon more layers than that. falling in love with draco malfoy brought pain. not just any kind of pain, no… horrible, heart wrenching, gut twisting pain. pain that began by bubbling itself in your chest right at the center of your heart, then slowly but surely worked it’s way outwards. encapsulating your entire body and making every inch of your body ache. pain like when you get attached to a character and the author kills them off. pain like when you finish your favorite book and you realize that you’re not truly in that universe and none of that actually happened. pain like when you’re two hours, fifteen minutes, and twelve seconds into avengers: infinity war and peter parker says “mr. stark, i don’t feel so good.” pain that you’ve never felt. pain that can’t be described. pain that you felt for days. pain.

you thought it was strange when the platinum blonde slytherin sought you out. he came to you one day while you sat silently at the black lake. you were alone, but only because you liked to be. you had friends of course, many actually, but you chose to be alone. the black lake was your place of solace. then along came draco. he sat beside you, a good distance away, but his presence was known. you looked to him for an explanation but he offered none. just smiled at you and turned to his notes, so you did the same. the second time he came, he sat closer, but still in silence. the third time is when he struck up conversation.

“yln, yeah?” he questioned.

“yn, actually. but yes, yn yln. and you’re draco malfoy?” you asked.

“i am,” he smirked at your knowledge of his name and then you returned to your studying. after that, the two of you talked every time he came and sat with you. short discussions about the weather or the potions assignment. you don’t know when, but soon they became longer. discussions of your day and your family. your interests and how you got your name. how you loved the rain and the stars and how you loved hogwarts, but you often missed home. draco knew you inside and out and you knew him—and before long, you called the tall, skinny blonde your boyfriend.

you walked the halls of hogwarts together, hand in hand. draco walked haughtily with a hard scowl and you with a bright smile. while you walked cheerfully and waved to your friends and to first years while draco glared at anyone who dared look at the two of you. he took you to parties in the slytherin common room and you wore his jersey proudly at quidditch games, even when he played against your house. he bought you lavish gifts at all of your trips to hogsmeade and he showered you in kisses, praise, and affection. you were whole heartedly smitten with the sole heir to the malfoy fortune.

it was one fateful day in the common room when your heart absolutely exploded. that was the day you knew that you fell in love with draco malfoy. you had been a thing for about two, going on three, months. you were sitting in the slytherin common room, reading in silence when he asked. you were pressed against his chest and he pressed a soft kiss to your head. “‘ve been meaning to ask you something,” he murmured gently. this caused you to close the book and turn your full attention to him. “want you to wear this,” he said, holding out a ring. “it’s the malfoy family crest.”

your stomach and your heart exploded into billions of butterflies and you launched yourself forward, straight into his chest. millions of emotions overcame you as you squeezed his neck as tight as possible. you nodded into his neck as a few stray tears fell. he kissed your head repeatedly as he slid the ring onto your finger before pressing his lips to your’s gently. you giggled excitedly as you stared down at the ring on your finger. “do you like it?” he asked you.

“i love it, dray. i love you. thank you s’much,” you confessed for the first time as you cuddled back into his chest. you don’t know what it was that made the blonde boy seek you out, but you’re glad he did. if only you knew the true nature of his intentions. but alas, you were oblivious.

it was the beginning of the school year, on the train to hogwarts. in the compartment of what was labeled as “the slytherin squad.” there sat theo nott, pansy parkinson, blaise zabini, and—your now boyfriend—draco malfoy.

they were all sitting around, taking the piss out of draco for all of his past failed relationships when it was brought up. “i’ll bet malfoy couldn’t get a girl to fall in love with him if he paid her,” theo spoke.

“i’ll take that bet,” draco countered.

“alright. but we get to pick the girl,” blaise decided.

“what?” pansy asked as theo began to look around the compartment. it was a few minutes before he found the victim. it was then that your fate was sealed. there, sitting in the back corner, head tucked deep into a copy of the fault in our stars, was you. you. awkward and quiet. you with seemingly no friends. poor little unsuspecting you.

“that one,” nott smirked evilly.

“what the weirdo?!” draco exclaimed incredulously. “no way!”

“so then you forfeit?” blaise asked, causing draco to release a frustrated exhale.

“alright i’ll do it,” he rolled his eyes.

“then we give you five months. make yn yln fall in love with you in five months and we’ll do your homework for the rest of the year,” theo posed.

“and if i don’t?” draco asked.

“and when you don’t… thennn,” blaise taunted as he searched for a deal that was fair.

“then we get two hundred galleons each and you have to apologize to potter for making his life hell,” theo smirked. draco scoffed at this and rolled his eyes, but nodded nonetheless.

“and what are my conditions?” he raised an eyebrow.

“she has to say it first. you can do anything you want or need to get her to say it, but you cannot say ‘i love you’ first,” blaise spoke.

“this doesn’t seem fair to yn,” pansy piped in.

“shut your mouth parkinson. no one asked your opinion,” theo growled with a roll of his eyes. but it was too late. there was absolutely nothing the girl could do to get the three to change their minds. she just had to sit idly by and watch draco malfoy break your heart as she said nothing. she wished that she could stop it, but their minds were made up. and the three of them were very stubborn.

it was a few days after draco gave you his ring when your bubble came crashing down. you were walking to meet draco at your spot at the black lake when blaise and theo intercepted you. you knew who they were, of course you did. they were your boyfriend’s best friends, however why they were currently speaking to you, you had no idea.

they told you it would be quick. that they just wanted to show you something in the slytherin common room and left little room for argument, so you had no choice but to follow them there. they sat you on the couch and began to discuss your relationship with draco. you were very confused and had no idea why you were here. “so… draco hasn’t told you?” blaise mocked a gasp of shock.

“no?” you raised a soft eyebrow as you stared on. this made theo smirk evilly as he pulled up a projector and pointed his wand at it. a picture appeared, it looked like a memory. “what’s this?” you asked before the boys urged you to ‘shh.’ you sunk further into the couch as you idly watched on.

you truly weren’t paying attention untill you heard the voice of your boyfriend. the words he spoke stung. you were soft. emotional. the way he spoke about you absolutely crushed you. it would crush anyone, but it shattered you especially. “she’s so fucking weird!” “i’ll take that bet.”

‘s all you were. all you ever were. just a stupid belt. another notch in his belt. it was that moment that draco had barged into the common room. but by then, it was already too late. the tears had already sprung to your eyes and you were preparing for a torrential downpour as you heard his voice. “i’m out!” he announced breathlessly. he froze in his run as his eyes fell on you and what was playing on the projector currently. “bunny…” he whispered softly as his hand touched your shoulder, but you quickly jerked away as if his hand had burned you on contact.

“don’t call me that. don’t touch me,” you demanded as the tears began to fall. “that’s all i was? a bet?” an involuntary whimper sounded from the depths of your throat. “i feel so stupid.” you shook your head.

“no, bunny please listen to me,” you didn’t allow the boy to finish as you wrapped your arms tightly around yourself.

“don’t call me that!” you demanded. “in fact don’t call me at all. don’t… don’t talk to me draco. ever again. i can’t believe i fell for your stupid joke. i feel so… i feel like an idiot,” you spoke. you shook your head, hastily wiping at your eyes untill you saw stars. it was then that you decided to walk away.

“YN STOP!” draco yelled. “LISTEN to me,” he demanded.

“NO!” you shouted as you turned to face him finally. “godric draco, i wish you would’ve thought this through before i went and fell in love with you,” you sniffled as you wiped your snot on your sweater sleeve.

“yn please just let me explain. please listen to me, please,” he begged.

“i feel like you betrayed me,” you shook your head. “i told you everything. you were my everything. draco i loved you. i actually loved you. i thought you loved me too but i guess you’re just a really good actor,” you sniffled once more. “i hate you draco. i really fucking hate you. i don’t want to hear your bullshit explanation because i know that you’ll never feel sorry for the way i’m hurting right now.”

“it was a bet!” draco shouted as you walked away, hand on the door knob. you scoffed as you muttered a sarcastic, ‘no shit.’ “that’s how it started yes, but then i got to know you. i figured out who you were. i learned that your favorite color is yfc and that you prefer night over day because you love the stars and that your favorite star is scorpius and you would name your son after that star one day. i learned that you love to read and you love when it storms but you're afraid of the thunder. you only dance when you’re drunk and you giggle when you’re nervous and i love that giggle. with everything in me i do. your favorite book is yfb and you choose to be alone but you let everyone be your friend. you’re gorgeous. inside and out and while it may have started as a bet, somewhere along the lines i fell in love with you so yn please. please don’t leave,” he whispered the last part as his voice came out broken.

you took a deep breath in before you began to speak. “you couldn’t have cared less about someone who loved you more. i’d say you broke my heart but you broke much more than that,” you shook your head as you furiously wiped at your eyes again. “i gave you my all draco. you were my first everything. i gave you my virginity for merlin’s sake. all to find out that i was just some stupid bet,” you scoffed.

“yn please believe me when i say that you’re so much more than that,” he begged again. “i came to tell them that they won. that i wanted out because i fell in love with you too!”

“it doesn’t matter if you don’t see me as a bet any longer. the fact is that you did. i’m worth so so much more than that.” your breaths were ragged as you spoke. “i really wish that you had thought this through before i went and fell in love with you.” you repeated with a small sniffle. “don’t you think i loved you too much to be used and discarded? don’t you think i loved you too much to think i deserve nothing?” you were openly sobbing at this point.

“yn please believe me when i tell you how sorry i am…” he spoke softly.

“don’t tell me you’re sorry. feel sorry for yourself. because someday i’ll be everything to somebody else,” with this you turned away from him. you hastily opened the door and practically ran out of the common room and away from him.

at that moment you decided to forget about it. draco, and the bet, and love, and everything. like in the vampire diaries, you decided to turn your emotions off. you laid in your dorm crying for hours before you made that decision, however. your dorm mates checked on you often, but you never offered more than merely a half hearted shrug, letting them know that you were still alive, but barely breathing. you skipped classes and meals. you were a mere shell of yourself. it was about two weeks before you could face draco again. and even then you couldn’t truly. you went into the great hall and found “the slytherin squad” sans draco.

pansy looked at you sympathetically while theo and blaise basked in the glow of their new victory. you pulled the ring off carelessly as you stopped in front of them, hair disheveled and uniform askew. you had dark bags under your eyes from the lack of sleep you’d gotten in the past fourteen days and your eyes were rimmed red with the weight of your emotions. “c’you just give this back to malfoy,” you murmured half-heartedly as you dropped the ring on the table in front of the three. just speaking his name brought you pain.

your shoulders were sunken in defeat and you were but a shell of your usual cheerful self. you don’t even know when the last time you saw daylight or had fresh air was. “wait yln,” pansy called hesitantly. you turned to face her, still staring down at your mary janes as you pulled and twisted your fingers untill you heard your knuckles pop. “you… you really love him, don’t you?”

you just shrugged your right shoulder as you used the heel of your palm to wipe the snot from your rapidly reddening nose. “i was just some stupid bet,” you replied as tears begin to spill rapidly over your waterline.

“if it’s any consolation… it was those two bozos’ idea,” pansy told you as she pointed to blaise and theo.

“doesn’t matter,” you murmured. “he’s still a traitor,” you answered as you walked away, forgetting all about the slytherin prince and his stupid friends. forgetting all about how he hit you with a train of his “love.” forgetting all about how for three months he was your everything. forgetting all about how he wrote to his mum about you and you wrote to your parents about him. forgetting all about draco malfoy. the platinum blonde boy with stormy grey eyes who had a long story buried beneath his haughty exterior. the boy who you called your first. your first kiss. your first time. your first love. forgetting all about the boy that made you fall in love just to tell you it was all a bet.

attempting to revert back to how you were before you fell.

add yourself to my taglist :)

nani’s 100 followers celebration

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[exoticarmyofcrowns]

sing for me | kth

pairing: taehyung x fem!reader

summary: you have been living with your roommate for well over a year and the unresolved sexual tension between the two of you finally comes to a head

genre: romance, smut (VERY 18+ not for the littles), roommates au

warnings: masturbation, vouyerism??, fingering, thigh riding, attempted dirty talk, breath play, slight power play???, excessive use of the word “baby” and other pet names, kinda awkward discussion of feelings thrown in bc my characters never shut up when i want them to get it on sorry

word count: ~6.6k

a/n: hello~ um... i have no explanation for this. i am like half ashamed and half proud of this??? idek man. all i know is that i couldn’t have done it without @sugaerie​ so thank you so much my queen i love uuuu

You step through the door of your apartment, feet practically screaming with relief as you kick off your shoes.

Work was really kicking your ass lately. Add that together with the stress of grad school and you had a deadly concoction not even your favorite tea and copious amount of ibuprofen could protect you from. Your job as a cashier was pretty easy, you can’t lie, but constantly standing and running around the store did a number on your poor feet. Thank god you had weekends off—a perk of having worked there so long you practically had the manager wrapped around your pinky when it came time for scheduling—so you could sleep in for once.

Tossing your keys on the counter, you spare a glance at the clock above the stove as you walk into your small kitchen. It’s about a quarter to midnight. You figure Taehyung is still out with his friends, hitting up one of the bars downtown.

You sigh heavily at the thought of your roommate. Not because anything wrong with him. Taehyung is nothing short of incredible. He’s sweet and kind, always greeting you with the most adorable boxy smile that makes you feel like the only person in the universe. People gravitate toward him just as easily as he draws them in, a natural warmth that instantly puts others at ease in his presence. He’s generous and thoughtful, never missing an opportunity to surprise you at work with a coffee or just to see you. Those shifts are your favorites and maybe you’re a little spoiled because you often find yourself glancing at the entrance more often than not, trying to see if you can spot his dark, curly head from your register.

Not to mention Taehyung is incredibly stunning. Long dark curls frame his face in the most intimidatingly beautiful way it’s often hard to look away from him. He’s got piercing dark eyes that can stare right into your soul but that also crinkle beautifully at the corners when he smiles. His fashion sense is killer, obscure brands and fabrics lining his closet almost like a museum. You’re not sure how but he can wear just about anything and still manage to look like he just stepped off a runway.

He works as a freelance photographer and has quite the sizeable following on social media. He’s passionate about his work and it shows in the quality of his photos. You know next to nothing about photography but even you can see that the beauty and skill with which he wields his camera is nothing short of magical. Commissions are not hard to come by for him, though you’re more than positive it has just as much to do with Taehyung himself as it does his beautiful portfolio.

No, there is absolutely nothing wrong with Taehyung.

Only that he’s perfect and you have a massive crush on him.

Exhaling tiredly, you run a heavy hand down your face. Anyone else would be ecstatic about having such a wonderful, attractive roommate but you know things like this can only end in disaster. More than anything, Taehyung is your friend—your best friend, you would argue—and involving feelings into your relationship can only end poorly. The whole roommates thing just adds another layer of complication that is better left alone. You don’t shit where you eat, after all.

But it’s difficult. Taehyung is just so nice and likeable it’s unreal. You often find your thoughts wandering to dangerous places when you both are curled up on the couch together during movie nights, blankets and pillows and snacks scattered all over the living room, while he curls his body around you without a second thought. He’s naturally tactile, you try to remind yourself in an effort to calm your racing pulse but then he’ll laugh at something happening in the movie, his cheeks plumping up adorably, and you know you’re a lost cause as you feel your heart melt all over again.

It’s getting increasingly difficult to ignore your feelings for your roommate and you know something has to give eventually. In the last couple of weeks, there seemed to have been a shift in the air whenever you were around each other. Taehyung was still your adorable and playful friend but the hugs seemed longer, the touches more tender and lingering. You even think you’ve caught him staring at you a few times, a strange new darkness simmering beneath the chocolate irises.

Flushing with embarrassment and shame, you bury your face into your hands. Of course not. You’re just being ridiculously optimistic. You pull out a clean glass from the cupboard and fill it with water from the sink, hoping to dampen the butterflies fluttering in your stomach.

Cleaning up, you decide to pamper yourself with a long hot shower complete with a nice sugar scrub and an in-shower face mask. You even spring for a shave, already excited for the feel of your sheets against the smooth, moisturized expanse of your legs. It’s the little things.

You hum lightly under your breath, already feeling the residual tension from the week bleed out as you gently massage your favorite lotion into your skin. Finishing up, you feel much more relaxed and so wonderfully clean you can’t help the smile that graces your lips as you move to head back to your room.

“___.”

It’s faint, so faint you think you imagine it but it still makes you freeze as you step out of the bathroom. Glancing down the short hallway that leads to your room, you blink for several seconds and wait to see if you hear it again. When nothing happens, you feel your heart resume its normal pace before rolling your eyes at yourself and continuing on to your room.

“___.”

This time it’s unmistakable and you can’t help the way the sound of your name makes you jump in fear. Now you’re in full-on panic mode and you anxiously scan the apartment. Your eyes catch on the faint light emanating from Taehyung’s room and you relax slightly. How had you not realized he was home already?

Your relief quickly morphs into confusion. Why would Taehyung be calling for you? Did he need something? Was he hurt? Stifling your self-induced panic, you quietly make your way over to his door. Despite having been in his room multiple times before, something feels off now. Almost like you shouldn’t be there. You can’t quite put your finger on it but something about the whole situation has you on edge…

You shake it off. It’s fine. You’ll just casually peep through the slightly ajar door and make sure everything is okay before marching off to bed to enjoy your evening in. Simple as that, right?

Wrong.

Whatever you thought you were going to see past the small opening of his door doesn’t hold a candle to the image that will undoubtedly be burned into your memory forever.

There, laying casually on his bed, is Taehyung. That in and of itself is not out of the ordinary. Except for the fact that he is naked save for the boxers he normally wears to bed, with a hand pulling desperately at his painfully red length.

It’s suddenly hard to breathe, air catching so violently in your throat you nearly choke audibly. Slapping a hand over your mouth and nose, you will yourself to calm down enough to take in the scene before you. Taehyung’s long legs are splayed almost elegantly across his sheets, deliciously thick thigh muscles clenching and unclenching from his ministrations. His hand glides skillfully over his cock, alternating between slow, languid tugs and fast, unyielding strokes. He throws his head back before tucking his chin in briefly, tongue flicking out to wet his lips before he sucks his bottom lip into his mouth. A hiss of pleasure melts into a throaty groan and heat pools rapidly in the pit of your stomach.

A voice in the back of your mind screams for you to get away while you can. You shouldn’t be here. It doesn’t matter how long you’ve lusted after your roommate, how long you’ve wanted to push him against any flat surface and have your way with him or let him have his way with you. It doesn’t matter that you want to do couple-y things with him too, like hold his hand and kiss those soft, pink lips because you are roommates—friends—and a fling like that could only end in disaster, especially when he doesn’t feel the same way. It doesn’t matter and you have to leave now before—

“___,” Taehyung groans once again, hands caressing up his lean stomach and you’re distracted by the way his muscles ripple with the attention. “Are you just going to stand there or are you gonna come help me?”

Something between a squeak and a cough leaves your throat in that instant and you wish the floor would open up and swallow you whole. You can’t bring yourself to move for a good second but Taehyung lets out another low moan and your feet move of their own accord into the bedroom.

If you thought he was beautiful before, he is absolutely glowing in the soft light of his bedside lamp. A light sheen of sweat coats his skin and you are overwhelmed with the urge to lick a stray bead that travels down his neck. Your breath is coming out in short pants and you try to subtly squeeze your thighs together to ease the ache. This does not go unnoticed.

“Hello, darling.” The words leave his lips in a low purr and a shiver zips down your spine. He’s smirking at you, hands still gripping his length but his pace has slowed significantly as if giving you a show. He seems perfectly comfortable despite the lack clothing, completely unfazed by your blatant staring. Like he wants you to look at him and only him. The thought has your face burning.

“T-Tae, what are you doing?”

“Isn’t is obvious, sweetheart? Surely I don’t need to spell it out for you, hm?” A particularly wet pass over his dick has him sucking in a gasp and you find you can’t look away. Your tongue darts out to wet your lips and Taehyung fixates on the motion, pupils blown wide and darkening further.

“Although you haven’t picked up on my blatant flirting so maybe I should.”

That snaps you out of your reverie. “Flirting?” You hate the way your voice sounds so weak and vulnerable but it can’t be helped.

“I haven’t exactly been subtle, ___. I’ve been—fuck—I’ve been trying to drop hints for the last few weeks now, hell, the last few months but you never n-notice.” He tugs at his bottom lip with his teeth again before releasing a heavy sigh.

Your head is spinning. This Taehyung is so different from the one you’re used to—yes, he’s still the same incorrigible flirt, but where he is usually giggly and playful he is now sensual and downright sinful. You think back over the past few weeks, the lingering touches, the casual hugs. Taehyung has always been touchy but they had felt charged with something else entirely. It’s good to know you hadn’t been making that up.

“I…” You truly don’t know what to say for yourself. “I didn’t know,” you murmur, feeling very very small all of a sudden.

Taehyung immediately stills at your tone and misinterprets it as discomfort.  “Oh. Oh god, ___, I’m so sorry.” Wrenching his hand away from himself, he scrambles on the bed, looking up at you with earnest, remorseful eyes. The waistband of his boxers snap shut in his frenzy and you almost mourn the loss of the desire-tinted skin. “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable, I just thought that maybe you…maybe you felt the same?”

You’re so taken aback by the complete 180 he’s made that your response gets caught in the whirlwind of your thoughts, This is more like the Taehyung you know, kind and considerate, and you almost forget the situation you’re in. Almost.

“N-No!” you stammer, eager to assuage his uncertainty. “I mean, yes, I-I…” You close your eyes tightly. “I do…feel the same.”

The way Taehyung looks at you after your stunted confession has your heart auditioning for a marathon and goosebumps prickling across your skin. You may as well have just hung all the stars in the sky with the amount of adoration swimming in his warm irises.

“I’m glad,” he grins brightly at you and you can’t help but smile back. You bite your lip out of habit and the smile fades from his face as he watches you.

Swallowing thickly, he rasps, “___, c-can I kiss you? Please.”

The desperation in his voice is not something you expect and a jolt of electricity zings down your spine. Dazed, you nod. That’s all Taehyung needs before he practically launches himself to his feet to grab you by the waist and pull you to him. His hand—the other hand that was not touching himself—cradles your face as he bends down to brush your noses together. A moment passes, Taehyung staring into your eyes to give you room to pull away. When you don’t, he smiles briefly to himself before surging forward to connect your lips.

The kiss is soft and warm, exchanging only the slightest bit of pressure as if you both are worried that you’ll frighten the other. Which is ridiculous, you think, since you have yet to run away. You bounce up on your toes to alleviate the reach for Taehyung and kiss him harder. He hums appreciatively as he nips at you, the sound tingling from your lips and down the length of your body. You shiver in his hold and move to wrap your arms around his neck to pull him impossibly closer. The distance disappears between you two and you feel his arousal poking at your stomach. You break the kiss to look down between you, bottom lip trapped between your teeth.

Glancing up at Taehyung from beneath your eyelashes, you marvel at how positively wrecked he looks. He’s still damp with sweat but his mouth is slightly swollen from your kisses and his eyes are so blown out they’re practically black with desire. You feel yourself clench hopelessly as the blood rushes loudly in your ears.

“Can I—Can I watch you?”

You’re just as surprised as Taehyung is to hear those words leave your mouth but you’re not quite thinking straight, not when he looks like that and you finally have him in a way you never thought you would. It’s overwhelming, to say the least, and you want to savor every moment together.

Taehyung doesn’t seem to be faring much better, the request making his breathing turn heavy as he leans down to rest his forehead against yours. “Are you sure, ___? Are you absolutely sure? Because once we start, I don’t think I can stop.”

Peeking up at him coyly, you respond, “Who says I’ll want you to?”

A beat. Then, Taehyung squeezes his eyes shut and practically growls at your words. His arm tightens around your waist and crushes your body to him as if trying to mold you together. You love it.

“Then sit back and enjoy the show.” His lips quirk into a lascivious smirk before crashing your mouths together once again. This kiss is different than the previous one, not one bit of hesitation lingering now. Taehyung’s tongue licks along the seam of your mouth insistently and your legs turn to jelly as you open up for him.

The kiss is over too soon but before you can mourn the loss of his lips, he pushes you down onto the bed and resumes his spot against the pillows. Tugging on his boxers, Taehyung pulls them down to discard them somewhere behind you. Heat pulses through you at the sight of his exposed flesh and your thighs rub together once again.

Taking himself in hand, Taehyung spreads his legs and begins a torturously slow pace. “You have no idea how long I’ve dreamt of this.” All the air in your lungs leaves you at the confession. You can’t even think clearly, much less think up a semi-coherent response, but he doesn’t seem deterred by your silence.

“I’ve always—shit—I’ve always wanted t-to kiss that pretty little mouth of yours, ravage it until you can’t think. Your mouth, your neck, anything I could get my lips on.” Your eyes eagerly take in the sight of the milky substance beading at the tip of his cock and making his passes even messier.

“Ah, fuck, I-I wondered what kind of sounds you would make. If you would gasp and sigh or if I could make you scream.” He twists his wrist as he glides over the head of his length and he gasps out loud, his breathing rough and ragged and oh so lovely.

“I’ve thought about what it would take you to make you beg for it.”

A whimper escapes your lips before you can stop it and heat blooms across your cheeks. Taehyung stills for a moment before resuming with a smirk.

“Oh? Does my baby like the sound of that? Of me making you beg for my cock?” You nod, stunned and aroused beyond belief. It’s as if your brain has short-circuited and all you can think about is the fantasy that Taehyung so beautifully illustrates for you.

“Dirty girl,” he chuckles, tonguing the corner of his lips. “I should have guessed at what a desperate little thing you’d be. Asking me to stroke my dick while you watch.” He tuts playfully, eyes never leaving yours.

Breathing has become steadily more difficult and you’re acutely aware of the dampness between your legs. You want nothing more than to relieve the ache but you’re so transfixed on the beautiful man laid out in front of you that you can do nothing more than squeeze your thighs together.

“Look at you,” Taehyung’s eyes rake down your form, taking in your lust-darkened gaze and heaving chest before lingering on the apex of your tensed thighs. “I bet you’re dripping, aren’t you? So eager to take my cock that I could just slip right in if I wanted to, hm?” Again you nod, fingers twitching as you grip the sheets beneath you. He laughs lowly and the sound washes over you and settles deep in your stomach.

“God, I bet you’d taste so sweet on my tongue. I would spend hours just buried between your legs if you’d let me. Every time you prance around the apartment in those scraps you call shorts, I just want to bend you over the couch and fuck you until you can’t walk. Would you like that, baby girl? Want me to sink my cock into that sweet cunt of yours? Make it mine, over and over again?”

You’re practically panting now, desperate sounds ripping themselves from your throat as Taehyung stares at you intensely, hand never faltering on his swollen erection. He seems to take pity on you because in the next moment, he murmurs a deep, “Come here, baby.”

Snapping into action, you nearly stumble over yourself in your haste to be close to him. He smiles, fondness flickering in his eyes beneath the lust at your eagerness. You crawl forward until you are settled on your knees between his legs. A feeling of shyness settles over you—absurd, given the circumstances—and you find yourself unable to meet his gaze. A hand winds around your waist and pulls you to him, forcing you to straddle one of his thighs. You feel a finger slip under your chin to coax you into looking at him. When you do, Taehyung offers a sweet smile.

“You still with me, sweetheart?” You go to nod but Taehyung clicks his tongue. “I need to hear you say it, ___.”

“Yes.” You’re proud that your voice doesn’t shake. “I want you, Tae.”

The finger on your chin turns into a forceful grip as he crashes your mouths together once again. It’s messy and desperate and you can’t help the loud moan that Taehyung swallows gleefully. You welcome his tongue into your mouth and when you give it a pointed suck, he lets out an answering groan low in his throat.

“You’re going to be the death of me,” he pants against your cheek, planting wet kisses down your jaw and to the length of your neck. His lips meet the collar of your shirt but before he can even ask, you’re wrenching it off your body and onto the ground.

Taehyung seems at a loss for the first time since you’d walked into his room and you revel in the swell of pride that overtakes you. He can’t help but ogle greedily at the newly-exposed skin and you feel powerful knowing that you have his undivided attention.

Shaking himself out of his daze, Taehyung places a gentle kiss right above your heart before slowly making his way lower. The gesture is not lost on you and you find yourself melting further into his touch as your hand wraps around to tangle in the hairs at the nape of his neck. You can feel two hands ghost up your sides to tease the undersides of your breasts and you inhale sharply, chest pushing up into his mouth. Taehyung breathes a laugh onto your skin before cupping the soft flesh and placing almost reverent kisses upon their stiff peaks.

“Tae, please,” you whimper, eyes squeezing shut at the onslaught of sensations he is inflicting on you.

“Hmm, I like hearing you beg for me.” His tongue flicks against your pebbled nipple and you cry out, unable to hold back anymore. “My desperate baby girl.”

“T-Tae, ah, please don’t tease.”

“Don’t tease?” He punctuates the question with a sharp squeeze. “But you’ve been teasing me for well over a year, no? Walking around the apartment practically naked, with nothing but a t-shirt or these poor excuse for shorts.” Taehyung’s hands leave a lingering pinch before gliding down the length of your torso to the hem of your sleep shorts. Hooking a finger inside, he snaps the elastic back in place and you gasp. “No panties?” He asks in wonder, eyes fixed on your lower half.

Swallowing, you murmur, “I-I don’t usually wear them to bed.”

He lets out a throaty groan. “Fuck, you really—” He cuts himself off with another sharp exhale, head tipping backward as he squeezes his eyes shut as if in pain. Something nudges the side of your thigh and you look down at forgotten length between you, swollen and nearly purple. As if in a daze, you reach for the turgid flesh and let the tips of your fingers graze the head tentatively. Taehyung’s eyes snap open to look at you in shock and you freeze.

“Do that again. Please.”

You can hardly deny him when he looks so fucked out beneath you and your hand begins a tentative pace, stroking his dick like you had witnessed him do earlier.

“That’s it, atta girl,” he groans into your shoulder, kissing the skin almost absentmindedly. “Such a good girl for me.”

Your stomach plummets at his words, inner muscles clenching almost painfully. You’re so turned on your shorts are most likely unsalvageable but seeing Taehyung so wrecked and because of you makes it all worthwhile.

Keeping up the pace on his cock, you don’t even notice your hips begin to lower onto his thigh and rock down against him until he sits up from where he’d begun to slouch in pleasure, leg knocking up into your dripping heat.

“Fuck, baby. Look at you, grinding on my thigh like that.” His words send your heart stuttering in your chest. “Your poor little cunt has been neglected, hm? You’ve been such a good girl for me, stroking my cock and getting me ready. I think you deserve a reward.”

Taehyung grips your hips with bruising force and helps you grind harder onto his leg. The drag of your shorts against your swollen clit is a little too harsh but the sheer dampness of the fabric makes the glide much easier.

“I can feel you dripping onto my leg. You’re soaked, baby.” You’re delirious at this point, incoherent noises spilling from your lips as you work yourself over Taehyung’s thigh. It’s not long before you feel the pleasure mounting within you, hips pistoning back and forth even faster.

“That’s it, baby girl. Use me. Make yourself cum on my thigh. Get yourself nice and ready for my cock.” His hands run soothingly across your skin, sending your nerves on fire. You whine as you feel your orgasm approach with each pass of your hips.

“Come on, babe. Give it to me. Let me feel you cum all over me.”

With a strangled cry, you buck against Taehyung uncontrollably as you finally release all over his leg. You curl into him, hands tangling into his hair and tugging in order to keep yourself grounded. Your hips gradually slow as you ride out your high and you find it a struggle to catch your breath. The two of you stay like that for a few moments, letting the aftershocks wash over you.

“Oh, ___,” Taehyung murmurs in wonder. Almost sheepishly, you peek up at him from beneath your eyelashes to see him staring at you with such unadulterated reverence and want that your heart skips a beat. “You did so well, baby girl,” he rasps, lips ghosting over your face tenderly.

Face warm, you try to redirect the attention to him and begin placing gentle kisses along the length of his neck. Taehyung tilts his head back, eyelids fluttering prettily at your ministrations. Smirking to yourself, you trail your hand teasingly down the length of his chest to make your way down to his dick but he stops you with a firm hand around your wrist. Before you can even open your mouth to question him, he’s already flipped you over onto your back.

“Hmm, still so eager for my cock.” He nips playfully at your bottom lip, laughing when you move to chase him. “Don’t worry, sweetheart, we’re getting there. I have to get you ready first.”

Two of his fingers brush the swell of your mouth and you open immediately to take them in. Taehyung inhales sharply as you give them a pointed suck, eyes narrowing slightly to let you know that you will certainly pay for that later. The thought sends a shot of arousal to your core.

Taehyung removes his fingers and wastes no time in bringing them to the apex of your thighs. He makes quick work of your soiled shorts and suddenly, he’s all you can feel. A single digit swipes the length of your slit to circle around your clit, eliciting a hiss from the both of you.

“Oh, baby, you’re so wet,” Tae groans, in a trance. “All for me.”

He wasn’t really speaking to you but you nod anyway. “Yes, Tae. All for you.”

Eyes snapping to yours, he sinks one finger into your weeping heat and watches your face for any signs of discomfort. You tense slightly before relaxing and sending him a reassuring smile as a signal that he can continue. He pumps his finger in and out, letting you get used to the sensation before gently slipping in another. Scissoring the digits, Taehyung furrows his brows and bites his lip as he forces himself to be patient.

You, on the other hand, are having a much harder time controlling yourself. Soft whimpers escape you with every pump of Taehyung’s fingers. One particularly potent curl has you gasping for air as an animalistic growl tears itself from your throat, hips bucking harshly upwards.

“Gah, Tae—please,” you pant, hands flailing wildly for something to hold onto before settling on his hair.

“Anything, darling.” Taehyung inserts yet another finger and you begin to really feel the stretch, so much that it nearly becomes uncomfortable. A small noise of discomfort makes the man above you pause but he mouths at your temple reassuringly. “I know, baby, I know. But I have to make sure you’re ready for me.”

Right then, he curls his fingers just as he did before and you’re seeing stars again. He places adoring kisses along your jaw before dipping for another taste of your mouth. You eagerly accept him, opening fully to him as your hips roll along with the rhythm of his fingers.

Breaking away, you pant, “I’m ready, Tae.”

“Are you sure?” Looking deeply into your eyes, he must find what he’s looking for because he nods lightly and kisses you breathless. He reaches over to his nightstand and rummages in his drawer. The crinkle of a wrapper hits your ears, making your face warm slightly as the reality of the situation hits you full force. You were really doing this. The fact that the man that you’ve pined after for so long is here with you—actually likes you—is so surreal you’re not quite sure how to process it but you’ll be damned if you didn’t enjoy every second of it.

Once he has rolled the condom on, Taehyung moves upward to cup your face between his hands. “Before we begin, are you absolutely s—”

“Tae, I swear to god if you do not get inside me in the next three seconds I will flip us over and do it myself.”

Taehyung blinks before chuckling. “There will be plenty of time for that, sweetheart. But for right now…” His smile turns sinister, prompting anticipation to swirl deliciously in your stomach. “I’m calling the shots.”

He takes himself in hand and rubs the tip up and down the length of your folds. Your eyes flutter when Taehyung collects your pooling arousal, making a complete mess of you.

When he pushes in, your mouth drops open in a silent gasp. He’s big—of course he is—bigger now that he’s entering you and you can’t deny that the stretch is more than welcome. You glance up at Taehyung’s face and are pleased to see that he looks just as wrecked as you feel. He locks eyes with you, dark irises burning with lust but also something deeper. Something…soft and warm. The thought sends your heart pounding in your chest.

As he bottoms out, Taehyung makes sure to probe your face for any signs of discomfort. He doesn’t find any and tentatively thrusts into you, eyes never leaving yours as he does. You gasp, nerves tingling as a whine tears itself from your throat, soft and breathy.

“That’s it, angel,” Taehyung pants in your ear. “Sing for me. Let me know just how good I make you feel.”

You clench helplessly, reveling in the low grunt it earns from the man above you. He begins to pick up the pace, hips snapping fiercely against yours so that the only sound is the harsh slap of skin against skin mingling with your eager breaths.

“Such a tight little cunt, even after you’ve already cum once.” His voice is even raspier with the force of his thrusts and you practically keen at the sound. “I wonder how many times I can make you lose it.”

You sob, hips rising desperately to meet his. “P-Please,” you cry, unsure what it is you’re asking for but it doesn’t matter because he props himself up to get a better angle, looking down at your writhing form.

“Such a desperate little baby.” He punctuates the pet name with a particularly harsh snap of his hips and your eyes roll into the back of your head. You can already feel your second orgasm rising within you, all you need is a little push.

“You know,” Taehyung begins, concentrating his thrusts to a slow roll, “I’ve always been curious about one thing.”

Before you can ask what it is, you see his hand snake between you, gliding across your stomach, between the valley of your breasts, to settle at the base of your throat. Your eyes widen of their own accord, breath stuttering as you realize the intention. Taehyung’s eyes hold a silent question and you nod, albeit a bit desperately, prompting him to wrap his long fingers steadily around the lowest part of your neck.

“Fucking filthy,” he whispers in awe, gaze alternating between your face and the sight of his hand wrapped around your pretty neck. He thinks he could watch this forever. Squeezing experimentally, Taehyung watches with utter delight at how quickly you fall apart under his grip. Your hands scramble to claw at his arm, not to pull it away but to keep him locked in place.

“Poor baby just wants to be choked and fucked senseless, is that it?” You nod jerkily, pleasure fogging your mind and making you delirious. You couldn’t talk even if you tried but the way your hips buck up into his needily tell him all he needs to know.

“So honest,” he chuckles, increasing the pressure slightly. “Good girls get what they want.” Taehyung pulls his hips back, so far that only the tip remains inside you, before snapping back in full-force. The pace he sets is brutal and you can feel his hip brushing relentlessly against your clit.

“T-Tae,” you gasp, stomach tightening as a particularly well-timed thrust has you seeing stars. “C-Close.”

“Is baby girl gonna cum?” You nod frantically, eyes focusing and unfocusing on his face. “Come on, baby. Give me one more. I know you can do it. My desperate. Little. Slut.”

Taehyung tightens his grip even further and that’s the end for you. A scream lodges itself in your throat as the coil in your lower stomach snaps, sending you spiraling into the most powerful orgasm you’ve had in a while. Taehyung releases his hand from your neck abruptly, the rush of air prolonging your pleasure to the point you think you might pass out.

Above you, you hear Taehyung groan gutterly at the vice-like grip your walls have trapped him in. “Fuck, princess, I can feel you squeezing. You’re gonna make me cum.”

Still breathless, you fight against the fog clouding your brain. “Please, Tae. Cum inside me, please. I-I want it so bad.”

“Such a filthy little thing,” he stutters, breaths sounding labored in your ears as he gets closer to his own climax. “Gonna f-fill you up so good. Make this cunt mine.”

“I’m yours,” you gasp, tightening your muscles one last time around him. That seems to be the end for him because before you know it, Taehyung is moaning into your shoulder.

“All. Fucking. Mine,” he growls as he snaps his hips, once, twice, before stilling inside you.

It seems to last hours but Taehyung eventually collapses onto his forearms, careful not to crush you under his weight. You both take a minute to catch your breath, enjoying the feeling of closeness that follows. Eventually, he pulls back, carefully slipping out of you to tie off the condom and toss it in the wastebasket. You wince but relax immediately after, snuggling further into the soft down of his comforter.

Taehyung smiles adoringly as he makes his way back to the bed, heart flipping at how cute you look in his bed. Almost as if you belong there. He hesitates as he gets to the edge, fearing for a moment whether or not it was alright to join you. Those fears are put to rest as you blink sleepily up at him, arms tiredly reaching for him. Relieved, he snuggles in next to you and gathers you in his arms. It’s silent for a moment as you both enjoy being wrapped up in each other.

“Since when?” you finally break the silence, tracing mindless patterns across his chest.

Taehyung inhales sharply. He knows exactly what you mean. Still, he feigns ignorance. “What?”

You close your eyes for a moment, burying your face further into his chest. “Since when have you liked me?”

“Since when have you liked me?” he shoots back and you pinch the skin on his ribs. He yelps before you both dissolve into a fit of giggles.

“I asked you first,” you whine, risking a glance up at his face. Taehyung is already staring down at you fondly, warm gaze melting into your own.

“Since the very first moment,” he whispers softly. You almost laugh, except his face is deadly serious. It’s suddenly hard to swallow around the lump in your throat. You stare at him in wonder—the delicate brush of his eyelashes against his cheek, the soft sweep of his sweat-dampened hair over his forehead, the gentle curve of his lips as he smiles at you. You clear your throat, glancing away as a pleasant warmth settles over your cheeks.

“That’s not an answer.”

He laughs breathily in your ear and you fight a shiver. “Okay, okay. Well the first time I realized it was the day you had come back from your shift after you had switched managers.”

You balk. “Are you serious?” You remember that day. Management had decided to move your favorite supervisor over to the men’s department while you remained stuck in shoes. The new guy was awful—condescending, incompetent, and downright unpleasant. You had come home that day with three different bottles of wine and all the take out you could afford and practically forced Taehyung to drink with you and listen to your misery. The guy was eventually fired but the whole experience had left you with a bitter taste in your mouth.

Tae chuckles as he thinks back to that night. “Yes, I’m serious. You were about halfway through the second bottle and were practically screaming curses at the guy. It took you all of 30 minutes after dinner to fall asleep right there on the couch, somehow still complaining about that dickwad.” You snort, hand shooting up to cover your face in embarrassment. “As you talked, I realized…I could listen to you forever. And then you fell asleep, cuddling so cutely into my shoulder, and I knew I was a goner. Even though you snore.”

Your eyes, which had started watering at his heartfelt confession, widen before you regain your composure enough to hit his chest. “I do not snore.”

Taehyung winces playfully, knowing full-well that you don’t but enjoying teasing you all the same. “So, yeah. I’ve liked you for a while. And I had an inkling you felt the same.”

“Oh, yeah? What gave it away? The fact that I practically hopped on your dick?” you tease.

“Well it certainly didn’t hurt.” He winks at you and you have to stifle the urge to giggle like a schoolgirl. “But it was little things. Like how you’d blush at a compliment or if I hugged you just a bit too long. I couldn’t be sure though. Not until tonight, I guess.”

“Well,” you shift upwards, his confession instilling a confidence in you that you hadn’t known you possessed, “in case I haven’t made it abundantly clear: I like you very, very much, Kim Taehyung.”

He’s silent for a single, nerve-wracking beat before the most brilliant smile lights up his face and for the second time that night, you find yourself breathless.

“And I like you very, very much, too, ___.”

Taehyung kisses you then, slow and sweet, and you’re left thinking that you never want to be anywhere else.

© exoticarmyofcrowns 2020

[comfyswitcherblanketfort]

Geralt and the Minotaur p3

Y’all this could get hella complicated if I go hard with all the character sub ideas and all that but I’m here for the relationship so its gonna be bare bones on combining the canon bc I’m just not that skilled as a writer 😂 

Pairing : Geraskier

Warnings: talk of human sacrifice, talk of cannibalism, ye ole impending death, mention parents death, imprisonment, public humiliation (kinda), we got major soft boys falling for each other vibes too

part 2 here!

__________

Geralt woke with his head still resting on Jaskier’s thigh, though he was now lying on his side, resting his head against Geralt’s hip just above the dagger tucked in his belt. He had draped his arm over Jaskier’s waist as they slept, holding him closer, and Jaskier’s arm was resting on Geralt’s chest. It was still dark and, from the sounds of it, everyone else was still asleep save a few soldiers at the helm. The waves had settled to a gentle lapping at the hull and Geralt found himself completely relaxed and at peace for the first time in weeks. His hand rose and fell in a gentle rhythm with Jaskier’s breathing and every now and then the blue eyed boy would sigh, bringing a soft sleepy smile to Geralt’s face. He didn’t dare move, lest he break the spell, but someone else woke from a nightmare with a scream that shattered his illusion. 

Jaskier hummed and nuzzled into Geralt’s hip before he was fully awake, making the prince blush furiously and gasp. Sure he’d fallen asleep with friends and romantic interests back home, but that sensation was… different. 

“Is it morning?” Jaskier mumbled, not moving to sit, but at least the nuzzling had stopped. 

“Probably,” Geralt answered, resisting the urge to run his hand over Jaskier’s shoulder, “still early.”

“You haven’t been lying awake all this time have you?”

Geralt forced a breath out his nose in amusement, “Only a few minutes or so.”

Jaskier sat up, laying his arm over Geralt’s, keeping it wrapped around his waist as he moved to be able to inspect the young hero’s face, “You still look… weary.”

Geralt frowned, shifting so he was leaning on his elbow over the boy’s legs, still very much resting on him, “I wonder why?”

Jaskier smirked, “Is it true you’re a child of Poseidon? Why not sink the ship and we can all ride horses made of sea foam back to the mainland?”

Geralt cast his eyes down to the deck, “They’d just come back for more. It doesn’t matter who’s son I am or what favor I do or don't have.” 

"Pull the weed at the root." Jaskier nodded. 

Geralt hummed in agreement, sitting all the way up to lean against the mast next to the brunette, "What about your family? Anything exciting waiting for you at home?"

Jaskier hooked his arm around Geralt's and rested his head on his shoulder, "Doesn't matter." 

"Does to me." Geralt mumbled, a little taken aback by the physical affection. When Jaskier rolled his eyes he laid his hand over his knee, "Humor me." 

They sat and waited for the sun to rise over the water as they discussed Jaskier’s life. His parents death, the farm he worked for his uncle, the mundane little things like how often he gets sent to the market and who cuts his hair. They learned each other's birthdays as a joke, but the hopeful side of Geralt still repeated it to him a few minutes later just to be safe. Jaskier asked him about life at the palace, if it was as grand as everyone believed. Geralt felt squeamish admitting he didn’t know, seeing as he'd only really lived in the lap of luxury. Sure his trek to Athens was dirty and many nights he slept in barns, but most of his 20 years were spent in bright white togas and tunics with colorfully stitched hems. Jaskier didn’t seem bothered, he just asked more specific questions about the beds and the fountains. He pontificated for a while on the poor musical choices made in a performance at the amphitheater last summer and did his best to explain to Geralt how to delicately pluck a harp using a lock of his white hair as a prop. Joking was easy, being earnest wasn’t quite effortless, but it was easier than with other people, and Geralt lamented that they’d only met yesterday. 

“Do you think you’d’ve given me the time of day?” Jaskier asked.

Geralt grinned, giving the brunet's leg another squeeze, “You wouldn’t have given me a choice.”

Jaskier rested his chin on Geralt's shoulder, his hair fluttering into his eyes and glowing gold as the sun began to peek over the waves, "Probably not, no." His voice was soft in Geralt's ear, the warmth of his breath made the hairs on the back of his neck stand at attention. 

Geralt turned to look at him, their noses brushing. He was about to ask Jaskier something reckless and naive, no doubt born of desperation, but the moment was broken by shouting. 

"LAND" Echoed from various soldiers and strangled sobs broke out in response. Reality was once again stubbornly planted in the forefront of Geralt's mind and he forced himself to pull away. His heart beat furiously in his chest as he stood to get a better look. 

Someone gripped his elbow and spun him around, staring up at him with wide eyes full of terror, "You can do it, can't you? You can get us home?" The harsh whisper seemed to carry over the whole group, commanding their silence and attention as they formed a circle around him. 

Vessimir's parting words echoed in his head, he was a leader now, he had to act like it. His year of lessons and training and taking notes were over and he knew right then that even if they made it back, he'd never have a day of peace again. 

With a glance back toward Jaskier he nodded, "I will bring us home or die trying." 

The person's grip on his elbow tightened and he stared back at them with what he hoped was reassuring confidence for a moment before they released him, "Do you have a plan?" 

All his preparation could never have braced him for the absolute devastation on the group's faces when he hesitated. In the fraction of a second he took to open his mouth they knew. Only Jaskier seemed to accept the facts and take them in stride. 

"All I know for sure is that we need to make it out and back to the docks by dawn." Geralt's admission was met with curt nods from some and fresh tears from others, "I'm sorry." 

Jaskier pipped up, stepping into the center of the small crowd with Geralt, "You volunteered to try to save us. We need no apology." He sent a glare to someone about to speak in protest, cutting them off, "It's more than we've had in the last 18 years and I, for one, am grateful." 

Geralt gave him an appreciative nod but their theatrics were drawing attention from the soldiers. He shooed everyone away, not sure he could handle another altercation this close to the soldiers homeland where they'd have something to prove to onlookers.  

As they drew nearer to the shore they heard shouts of laughter and music, saw banners waving in the wind and people dancing around the port. They were throwing a festival. A festival of revenge and dominance over their enemies, where people who would have been sacrifices delighted in the activities. It made Geralt's stomach churn. 

Jaskier stood next to him as close to the bow as they were allowed, "Twisted, isn't it? And they wonder how we so readily believe they eat their brethren." 

Geralt took his hand, searching for anything to ground him as the fear crept up his neck and threatened to strangle him, "Monsters never think they're monsters." 

"You like being cryptic don't you?" Jaskier sighed, keeping his eyes forward as the festivities grew clearer and clearer. 

Geralt only shrugged in response. 

Soon enough they were all corralled by the soldiers with shouts and shoves. They tied Geralt's hands first, yanking on the rope so it burned into his wrists. The man was watching his face, waiting to see him wince or twitch. He gave them nothing. The end of the rope was then tied to Jaskier and so on until they were all lined up, hands bound in front of them and linked like sausages. 

When they docked there was a heavy drum roll, fitting for the captives in line behind Geralt trembling. The plank was lowered by soldiers in what had to be ceremonial dress and when they stepped back the drummers hit one last beat, leaving the whole crowd silent. 

At the front, surrounded by soldiers and standing on a throne made to be carried, was King Minos. His eyes were cold and calculating, and it was clear he was declining in health, but he still invoked fear with his gaze. There was no doubt to any rumors anymore. Geralt was sure this man was capable of absolutely anything. 

The Queen sat in a similar throne, next to them was their daughter, walking but flanked by guards. She didn’t take her eyes off Geralt as they prodded him down the plank. Her eyes were soft, betraying the rest of her face set in a hard mask of disapproval, and she made no effort to hide her ogling. Geralt stared right back, never one to back down from a challenge, until they were ushered past the royals into the crowd. The citizens were far more animated. Some threw food scraps at them, some jeered and gestured rudely, others spat, though they all blamed the 14 young men and women before them for the death of a prince before they were even born. 

They marched through winding streets and up set after set of switchback stairs to reach the palace dungeons. The guards were having their fun with Geralt in the lead, shoving him around when they needed to change direction and tripping him when they passed a large crowd. 

When they finally reached their cells they were shoved in, two to a cell, and the rope was cut. They had to hold their arms through the bars for the soldiers to cut the knotts. They took the rope with them when they left, leaving only bread and water on the bed and one torch lit hanging outside each cell. It was dreary and cold, and Geralt could hear the others crying.

Jaskier broke the loaf of bread in half and tossed it to Geralt, taking a long pull directly from the pitcher of water, “Eat. No arguments.”

__________

part 4 here

tag list: @hailhailsatan @so--many-fandoms

hmu if you want tagged 💕 I will cry tears of joy in my coffee

[clvmtines]

welcome aboard, clementine martinez, student #2. we are excited to set sail with you !  has anyone told you that you look like alexa demie? according to our records, you hail from florida, usa, prefer she / her pronouns, are a cis woman, and are here to study creative writing. we also see you received a spot on the ss university because of your online lottery win — we won’t tell anyone. during your first few weeks here, other students said you were + charming, + free-spirited, but also - restive. it sounds like you spend most of your time at the billiards room. upon checking your luggage, we noticed you packed a casino chip carried around for luck from home. hopefully your roommates don’t steal it!

hi friends! i’m very excited to be here. i’m jay (est, she/her) n i used to play astrid nyland a few months ago if anyone remembers bt i had to leave for personal reasons. i’m so glad to be back now that i hve life sorted and some free time for summer break <3 read on for some details abt this new muse of mine, clementine. 

01. biography !

so ! clementine was born in florida. & yes, her real name is clementine. her mom thot it was the cutest name idea ever. clementine mostly goes by clem. she comes from the town [redacted] in florida bcoz i am too lazy to look up a specific town <3 but alas ! it was swampy and humid and she lived in a trailer park. 

her parents got knocked up at nineteen. clem was born nine months after a particularly wild 1999 fourth of july. her birthday is march 26th and she’s an aries. 

(TW: addiction, child injury) clem’s dad was a gambling addict and petty criminal—he wld steal credit cards n whatnot. he wld gamble away diaper money n it would cause constant fighting until her dad finally left. her mom took this very hard n began drinking a bit too often, leaving clem to to make cereal for dinner n fend for herself. once clem tried to make hot dogs on the stove and spilled boiling water on herself. got a p bad burn on her arm/shoulder and still has a big scar.

the soundtrack of her childhood was cicadas buzzing and stray dogs barking. the sizzle and pop of natty light cans. turning up her ipod to max volume to drown out the sounds of her mother fighting with her new boyfriend.

throughout her upbringing, clem’s dad was always in and out of the picture. he’d blow into town when he hit it big. he’d take her on these little “adventures” like staying in a motel 6 n renting movies at block buster n ordering good pizza nt the dominos shit she ate with her mom lol. ofc he was charging it all to someone’s stolen credit card. he’d always promise to, like, take clem away. n clem was a daddy’s girl so she believed him. the last time it happened was her h.s. graduation. her mom didn’t show ( "overslept” after a bender ) but her dad did and surprised her n said everything wld be different. bt then he bailed on their plans for the next day n when she called his cell, the number was disconnected. tht was the defining “i’m done” moment. clem promised to never be disappointed by her father again.

(TW: racism) her mother has mexican ancestry and clem’s always been called her twin. but clem was raised in a predominately white area and honestly ?? it was really hard without her even realizing it. she’s still unpacking a lot of things today abt her youth that jst weren’t okay bt she thought were normal. like microaggressions, stereotypes, being fetishized by boys in high school. gross shit.

as a kid, clem was rumored to be really poor bc she wore tattered clothes n got free lunch at school. once she invited a friend to her house & the next day they told everyone it’s in a trailer park. that reputation—the “trailer park girl”—was really hard to shake. and clem got almost desperate to shake it. she was endlessly trying to set her old self on fire and emerge from the ashes like a phoenix.

eventually clem became more “popular”. in school she was, like, a straight b student. very average although super creative and quick-thinking. she always had street smarts. problem solving skills. independence. more of, like, practical intelligence as opposed to book smarts because academia bores her tbh. she was like why am i reading these overrated boring books by dead white men or learning abt polynomials when i know nothing abt how to pay a mortage or do taxes. like...she saw the american education system as bullshit and put in modest effort because she didn’t believe it deserved her sweat and tears. 

however, she entered the online lottery for the seas program on a whim and got in. so she’s studying creative writing now.

02. personality !

first thing you shld know abt clem is that she’s a compulsive liar essentially—she tells various stories to make her life seem better than what it was. to one person, she’s an heiress to a real estate company and grew up wealthy. to the next she was raised by nomadic hippies. some of her lies are small fibs while others are grandiose tales. she rarely talks about her actual upbringing. she hates talking abt her family or the v real trauma of growing up in a household where both parents struggled w/ addiction; the uncertainty, the broken promises, the fact that she had to grow up so soon and deal w/ so much. it wasn’t fair, and if she thinks about it too much, she feels this anger. anger at the universe. anger at her circumstances. she doesn’t know where to put this anger. she doesn’t know how to shrink it. so she avoids it.

despite her rough upbringing, though, clem is actually really sweet and kind. she’s adventurous, fun-loving, free-spirited, and bold. 

bt ! she can also be closed-off, competitive and restive. 

she’s seemingly tight with everyone? like she’s jst that girl who can get along with anyone tbh. 

in her spare time you can catch her tanning by the pool, hanging at the bar, playing pool ( which she learned from her dad ), and socializing. she’ll never say no to hanging out with people. 

she learned a lot from her little “adventures” with her dad, who was very good at conning others and often involved her in his dumb little scams. clem is suuuper good at pulling the ‘im baby 🥺’ card to get what she wants.

she can be a little selfish, because she grew up looking out for herself. 

stubborn and dogmatic as hell !!!

she doesn’t do too many relationships but when she does fall, i imagine she falls hard and fast. she refuses to be made a fool of, tho. when she gets vulnerable she flashes back to being a kid, waiting all day for her dad to show up only to have him bail on her. again. she hates that feeling. so if she, like, senses a shift in someone’s energy she’ll b like, “i’ll break up with u before u can do it to me” and the person wasn’t even tryna dump her lmao.

has a lot of sex. too much ?? sex?? mayb. but she’s v sex positive.

her personal style is v late 90s. hair clips, big scrunchies, neon, fur trim, crop and tube tops, hoop earrings, chokers, patterns, platform shoes, biodegradable glitter cuz it’s good fr the earth *winks*. clothes from o-mighty.......actually jst google o mighty, pull up the images and That is clem. she dresses like a bratz doll. she’s dedicated to the aesthetic.

03. headcanons !

her item brought from home is a hot pink poker chip from a casino. her dad gave it to her. he said it reminded him of her because of the color; he got it during one of his winning streaks and said it was lucky. she has a complicated relationship w/ her dad n doesn’t even speak to him anymore, bt she will never go anywhere without it.

she’s a smol bean—only 5′4

an astrology girl and she reads palms ! she absolutely makes astrology tik toks that people only watch because she’s hot. her flirting technique is to ask you to read your palm.

she doesn’t typically drink to get drunk. but she does love a good sugary cocktail. to her, a drink is like an accessory. a blue fishbowl by the pool, a jack and coke as she stands around a bar. usually she'll nurse the same beverage for a while. if you see her wasted it usually means she’s going thru it emotionally lol. the one thing she does do is drugs tho 

pretty much listens to exclusively female artists.

a bit of an activist. environmentalism, feminism and the like, she’s v outspoken. vegan for ethical reasons (TW: drugs) bt still does cocaine. she wears shirts with ‘my pussy my choice’ bedazzled on the front.

loves to rollerblade ! back home she didn’t have a car so she’d bike or rollerblade. now she still has her blades and she’ll use them when the ship docks. 

03. wanted connections !

Friends, bffs, ride or dies, friends who are like siblings to her, maybe a friend with an unrequited crush on either side ??

an ex she dumped/cheated on/otherwise self sabotaged their relationship because she was afraid of vulnerability.

an ex friend who realized she lies a lot abt herself n felt betrayed. OH ! ESP if they opened up to her on many occasions abt intimate, personal stuff. imagine the betrayal they felt when they found that everything they thought they knew abt clem is a lie.

someone who she actually opens up to. a confidant. or, maybe, like, a stranger she drunkenly spilled her soul to and now she avoids them like the plague.

a rival. clem can be competitive.

her drug dealer 

someone she knows she shouldn’t hook up with and… does it anyways. like a friend’s ex or smthing. spicy <3

i welcome anything !

[tunemyart]

Top 5 favorite and least favorite episodes of Xena. GO!

You drive a hard, hard ask, but I have limited myself (be proud!!)

FAVORITE FIVE:

The Bitter Suite - In what world do we get an entire episode solely dedicated to digging into the roots of the anguish that the two leads have caused each other that they descend into some Jungian dreamscape heavily influenced by tarot, wherein they finally learn how to speak to each other as wounded equals, and through which they discover healing of trauma and forgiveness, all via song written specifically for this show/this episode? YOUR OTHER SHOWS COULD AND WOULD NEVER. (Also somebody please point me toward a Xena-inspired tarot deck.)

The Ides of March - y'all are aware of my obsession with Xena's vision in season four and my love of Gabrielle's pacifist arc as an unspoken reaction to the trauma of S3; and the way those two things collide, the inevitability of it, the sheer elegant perfection of it, is something I hope I never get over. Ofc I'm here for the beauty of the jail scenes, the simplicity of the quiet admissions of self to each other - but I'm also here for how it's all wrapped up in and transformed by the words that have been torturing Xena's soul for the last season: "I love you, Xena." YOUR OTHER SHOWS STILL WOULD NEVER.

When Fates Collide - Give me a season of Empress!Xena/Playwright!Gabrielle and it might be enough. The fucking yearning. So explicit on Xena's face! The beautiful meta layer of Gabrielle writing the Xena scrolls as plays that part of Xena remembers and reacts to! "Do you really believe love like that exists?" GOD XENA, YOU DO. "I’ll love you forever.” THAT’S RIGHT. *sobs forever*

Paradise Found - Aside from the gorgeous level of physical intimacy established as completely and utterly normal between them at this point, the deep dive into their psyches and the things that hurt them and the reasons why is so, so good. (Give me the paaaaiiinnnnn!!!) I've talked before about how beautiful the juxtaposition of the Platonic Way of Love vs. their embodied love for each other is, but gosh, THAT SCENE.

Who's Gurkhan? - I love this episode bc I am admittedly a shallow bitch! Also bc I am fucking here for Gabrielle's relationship with violence and Xena’s mind getting her through torture by conjuring up a vision of Gabrielle that’s not sweet supportive bby Gabs, but rather a strong, sexual, and morally complicated Gabrielle who belly danced her way into a harem for the express purpose of murdering a dude, bc that's who Gabrielle is now! And that's who Xena loves! And that's the show! (Also GODDDDDDDD they're both so fucking gorgeous, holy shit)

LEAST FAVORITE FIVE:

Ulysses - we are all correct in our collective hatred of this episode

Fallen Angel - ughhhhhhhhhhh you're gonna follow up The IDES of MARCH with this nonsense? Worst offender just bc of wasted potential, taking us from the glorious narrative heights of S4 into... whatever S5 was

Lifeblood - i.e., that ep I forgot existed until my friend on her first series watchthrough texted me about Julius Caesar being a caveman. And then I forgot about it again until this very minute. And now I will keep on forgetting about it, and that's exactly the way it should be.

Purity/Back in the Bottle - some character assassination goin’ on here, I cannot accept the 20,000 or 100,000 or whatever Xena was supposed to have killed with the powah of her mind bc there was “no other choice” or some bullshit. Oh and the rest of it was real bad too.

Anthony and Cleopatra - fun fact! when I first watched this episode while trying to binge my way through S5 to make it go faster, it filled me with such rage and despair that I had to skip ahead to S6 to make sure this wasn't just gonna be the show from now on.

[strawstories]

A little writeblr introduction

Hello! :)

After much consideration I have finally decided to make a blog for my writing and I thought I'd start by introducing myself.

I usually just go by Lu or Straw (Straw's an old online nickname that kinda just stuck around haha), am currently 19 years old – about to turn 20 at the beginning of March – and I'm German. I decided to create this blog mostly in the hopes that it'll give me some more motivation to actually finish a WIP for once. I only recently started writing in English so I'm hoping to improve not only my writing but also my English with my current project – if you see any grammatical errors please do point them out to me (my English teachers weren't big on grammar and comma use so I'm always trying to learn)!

WIPs:

I currently have three WIPs, but two of those are bigger projects so I'm currently focusing on the smaller one. 

The working title is The Severin Conspiracy and it's a good old enemies to lovers story with a load of denial, set in a fictional city influenced by all the little things I love about different time periods (read: I love stories set in the 1700s & 1800s and all kinds of historical fashion and architecture and needed an excuse to include all of those things while also putting my own spin on things). The main characters are the children of important political figures and accidentally witness the murder of the city’s queen, but due to reasons they decide that they can't tell anybody about what they saw. So now they gotta figure out how to uncover a government conspiracy while also dealing with some Uninvited Feelings™.

That's the WIP you'll mostly be seeing on this blog for now, but I might post about ideas and OCs from my other projects every now and then.

One of the bigger projects is actually mostly planned out already, but I'm a little stuck and I don't like how the story is flowing rn so I've decided to take a break on that one for now, but I'm really excited to get back to it once I figure some stuff out! It's a fantasy story about a magic king using his powers to hunt down all other magicians to make himself even stronger. The main character is an orphan, hiding his magic and just trying to live his best life when the orphanage he lives in is attacked, his best friend disappears and he figures out that his magic is stronger than he thought. He spends some time on the run and eventually joins the rebellion where he learns how to properly use his magic to face the evil king.

The other one is probably my biggest project yet and I currently have no idea what to do with the plot but I absolutely love my OCs for this one oops. It's yet another fantasy story, about a group of magicians, vampires, faeries and werewolfs (and maybe the occasional normal human). The story takes place in a city that has been ruled by two different families for generations now. Those families used to be allies who worked closely together, but recently there's been a feud between the current heads of the families and while that feud is threatening to turn into a war, our main characters discover the evil plot of a man who was believed to be dead. Now our main characters have to set aside their rivalry and work together to find allies and a way to avoid certain doom while they discover that not all things are what they seem. Can they convince their families to work together against a bigger evil before it's too late?

All of my WIPs are still untitled bc I don't like thinking about titles unless I absolutely have to but oh well.

I'd also love to write a time travel story some day, but those three WIPs are already way too much for me to deal with haha.

I gotta admit that I've never actually finished a WIP ever and I regularly go years without writing anything at all (I have a complicated love-hate relationship with writing and motivation, but I guess we've all been there). So here's to hoping that posting on this blog will actually keep me motivated lmao.

If you're in any way interested in me, my WIPs or my OCs or if you just need someone to rant about your own WIPs and OCs to feel free to just leave an ask or message me – I'm a little awkward, but I'm always excited to learn about other's OCs and WIPs and/or scream about my own :)

[sporclerhejman]

Notes on ‘Hoping this Finds You...’

Every slide in ‘Hoping this Finds You’ contains at least three clues- the ‘hoping this finds you’ tagline, the author of the note, and at least one thing in the note itself.  But many of them contain 4, 5, 6+ clues, some of which are less obvious, and which may be buried in the text, intentional spelling modifications, capitalized words, or even the choice of the background paper.  I thought it might be fun to outline where all those Easter eggs are hidden.

Slide #1: Abe Lincoln

Text Clues: ‘Appomattox Courthouse’- site of the final major battle of the Civil War, April 1865; ‘Passage of the Amendment’- a reference to the late January 1865 passage of the 13th Amendment by the House of Representatives (and a nod to the movie ‘Lincoln’); ‘I am sorry that I can’t join you in the district tonight’- Grant was originally supposed to be with Lincoln at Ford’s Theater on April 14th, but decided, instead, to travel to New Jersey to visit family; ‘Give my best to Tad and Mary’- Lincoln’s son and wife.

Hoping this finds you reference: Lincoln, a big fan of the theater, was assassinated at a showing of ‘My American Cousin’ on April 14, 1865 at Ford’s Theater.

Signatory- General Ulysses Grant, Lincoln’s commander of the Union Army.

Slide #2: Mikhail Gorbachev

Background clue: White House letterhead

Text clues: ‘what I hold Helmut Kohl’- Kohl was German Chancellor from 1982 to 1998; ‘strain on our relations for more than two decades’- the Berlin Wall stood from 1961 to 1989; ‘making the speech at the Brandenburg’- Reagan’s famous ‘tear down this wall’ speech was made with the Brandenburg Gate in the background; ‘tie this issue to the disarmament talks’- The Reykjavík Summit was held in October 1986, just a few months before the ‘tear down this wall’ speech; ‘Schulz will see that Congress back me on that’-  George Schulz was Reagan’s Secretary of State from 1982-1989; ‘party commissariat’- the term ‘commissariat’ had actually been replaced with the word ‘ministry’ by the 1980s, but being a term uniquely connected to the Soviet governmental structure, it made for a better clue.

Hoping this finds you reference: A direct reference to the 1987 ‘tear down this wall’ speech.

Signatory: Reagan, who was called ‘Ronnie’ by his wife Nancy and closest friends.

Slide #3: Marie Curie

Background clue: A lab notebook!  (Probably a bit modern for the Curies)

Text clues: ‘contamination with barium’- The late 1890s attempts by Marie and Pierre Curie to isolate radium were complicated because attempts to separate radium from pitchblende often resulted in barium contamination; ‘salt form may be isolated by differential crystallization’- the Curies eventually settled on the difficult and slow process of using differential crystallization to separate pure radium, but got only one tenth of a gram of pure radium from two thousand pounds of pitchblende; ‘Becquerel agrees’- I have no idea what Henri Becquerel thought about this process, or if he even knew, but he shared the 1903 Nobel Prize in Physics with the Curies, based on his early work on radioactivity, and this was a chance to include him as a clue to narrow the focus on Pierre and Marie; ‘do not think the half-life of polonium will allow for a similar method’- The Curies were never able to isolate pure polonium because it has a half-life of only about four months; ‘something Irene and Eve both enjoy’- The names of the Curie’s daughters; ‘lovely night for a stroll on the Rue Dauphine’- This is a bit dark, and actually made me choke up a bit doing it, but Pierre Curie was killed when struck by a carriage on the Rue Daupine in April, 1906.

Hoping this finds you reference: Curie won two Nobel Prizes and is known for her work in radioactivity.  She died as a result of aplastic anemia from radiation exposure.

Signatory: Her husband, and fellow Nobel winner, Pierre.

Slide #4: Julius Caesar

Text clues: ‘display at the Circus Maximus’- The Roman chariot racing stadium; ‘this new calendar’- The Julian calendar was proposed and adopted by Caesar in 45 BC; ‘dictator in perpetuity’- Shortly after the adoption of that calendar, Caesar was granted the status of dictator in perpetuity; ‘war against the Parthians’- Parthia was a kingdom near the Caspian Sea in present day Iran.  Caesar was planning an assault there at the time of his assassination; ‘set up a time with Brutus’- Merely a reference to Brutus and to Caesar’s famous line ‘Et tu, Brute’ from Shakespeare’s ‘Julius Caesar’; ‘Looking forward to seeing you at the Senate this evening’- Caesar was killed at the Senate on March 15, 44 BC.

Hoping this finds you reference: As noted, above, Caesar was killed on the Ides of March, thus the famous saying, ‘Beware the Ides of March’.

Signatory: Mark Antony, one of Caesar’s generals and political allies, who commanded the eventual war against Parthia.  I chose him, specifically, so that I could use him as a double signatory for the Cleopatra slide as well.

Slide #5: Amelia Earhart

Text clues: ‘Fred would never let you down or lead you astray’- Fred Noonan was Earhart’s navigator on her fateful last flight; ‘have looked for you all the way along your Pacific route’- a reference to the search for Earhart after her disappearance; ‘searching around Howland Island’- A designated refueling stop on her flight, but a location which she never reached.

Hoping this finds you reference: Simply a note that Earhart has never been found.

Signatory: Her husband, George.

Slide #6: The Wright Brothers

Text clues: ‘Thrilled to hear the news from Kitty Hawk’- The Wright Brothers’ first successful powered flight came on the beaches at Kitty Hawk, NC; ‘The bike shop is holding up’- The brothers operated a bicycle shop in Dayton, Ohio, which still stands today and is open to tourists; ‘regular contact with the Air Corps’- The Brothers sold technology, and entire aircraft, to the Army Air Corps.

Hoping this finds you reference: The Brothers had just completed their first successful powered flight and were constantly attempting longer and higher flights (which were generally successful).

Signatory: Hart O. Berg, the Wright Brothers’ business manager in Europe, and his wife, Edith, who also managed European business for them, was the first American woman to fly in a plane.  (Odd historical note, Sarah Van Deman, the daughter-in-law of John Van Deman, who built my house, and lived in it from 1878-1921, was the first woman to fly in a plane in the United States.  John’s son, Ralph, was an Army Captain.)

Slide #7: Napoleon Bonaparte

Text clues: ‘he may rule France in the future’- This text snippet (meant to insinuate that this is a segment of the note) is a reference to Napoleon’s son; ‘Reports from Borodino’- The Battle of Borodino, September 7, 1812, was the deadliest battle of the Napoleonic Wars, but also a tactical victory for the French; ‘that traitor, Alexander’- Tsar Alexander had been an ally of the French, but relations broke down, leading to Napoleon’s invasion of Russia; ‘Perhaps Moscow can be our capital in the east’- French forces, following the Battle of Borodino, were mounting their assault on Moscow.

Hoping this finds you reference: Napoleon did not enjoy the French winter.

Signatory: Marie Louise, Napoleon’s 2nd wife.

Slide #8: Ferdinand Magellan

Background clue: An old naval map

Text clues: ‘that idiot Manuel’- A reference to the King of Portugal, who declined the opportunity to fund Magellan’s attempt to find a westward route for the spice trade; ‘There is move afoot to name the strait after you’- Of course, this wouldn’t happen until much later, but the passage around S. America is now known as the ‘Straight of Magellan’; ‘converting the Cebu’- Magellan and his men had successfully converted the Cebu tribe to Christianity; ‘similar success with the Mactan’- Magellan would definitely not have similar success with the Mactan’ ‘circumnavigation and the spice trade’- I couldn’t really make Magellan any more obvious than this.

Hoping this finds you reference: Magellan’s attempts to convert the Mactan led to battle, during which he was killed with a spear, thus ‘in good spear-its’.

Signatory: King Carlos I of Spain, benefactor of Magellan’s circumnavigation.

Slide #9: Lady Godvia

Text clues: ‘I have reduced the taxes’- The legend of Lady Godiva, almost certainly apocryphal, is that she was angry at her husband for overtaxing the poor and he made a bet with her that if she rode naked, on horseback, through the town, he would reduce the taxes. According to the legend, she did; ‘you may donate as much of our wealth as you like to the churches’- She was also famously a benefactor of local religious institutions; ‘I have even freed the peeping tailor’- The legend also provides that Godiva made an edict before her ride requiring all of the townspeople to stay inside with their shutters closed.  A tailor named ‘Tom’ was the only one to break the rule. This is where we get the phrase ‘peeping Tom’ from; ‘do not embarrass the Earldom of Mercia’- Godiva’s husband was the Earl of Mercia.

Hoping this finds your reference: The Earl would, of course, want Godiva off the horse and wearing some clothing.

Signatory: Leofric, Godiva’s husband, and the Earl of Mercia.

Slide #10: William Howard Taft

Text clues: ‘agree with you about the income tax’- Taft was opposed to the institution of a national income tax, believing it unconstitutional; ‘ratification of the 16th A. has certainly settled the issue’- To address the claim of unconstitutionality, Congress adopted, and the states ratified, the 16th Amendment in 1913; ‘trade agreement with Canada’- Taft was, at that time, working on a free trade agreement with Canada; ‘dream of a Supreme Court appointment- Taft is most famous for being the only person to be both U.S. President and Chief Justice of the U.S. Supreme Court.

Hoping this finds you reference: The story is apocryphal, but Taft is also known for his girth, and thus the legend that he got stuck in the White House bathtub.  There is no indication that it ever actually happened.

Signatory: Philander Knox, Taft’s Secretary of State.

Slide #11: Cleopatra

Text clues: ‘do not think is wise to have Herod visit again’- Herod famously visited Egypt in 40 BC, then traveled on to Rome.  He and Cleopatra had competing claims to territory; ‘Octavian is quite pleased with the invasion of Armenia’- Octavian was heir to the Roman throne, and would have been quite pleased with the 34 BC invasion of Armenia, which Cleopatra funded; ‘call on your aid to support the cost of our armies’- see previous note about the Armenian invasion; ‘Ptolemaic Dynasty’- Cleopatra was the last of the Ptolemaic leaders before direct Roman rule; ‘Your story is Taylor made’- Cleopatra has frequently been the subject of modern artistic depictions, most famously the 1963 film starring Elizabeth Taylor.

Hoping this finds you reference: Cleopatra committed suicide (likely by poison), essentially ending the Hellenistic period.

Signatory: Mark Antony, Cleopatra’s third and final spouse.

Slide #12: Neil Armstrong

Background clue: NASA Space Task Group letterhead, in use from 1958-1962, and again for the Apollo program beginning in 1969.

Text clues: ‘leap mankind’- A reference to ‘one giant leap for mankind’, Armstrong’s famous words when first setting foot on the moon; ‘you and Buzz will be successful’- Buzz Aldrin was the command module pilot on Apollo 11, and the 2nd man to walk on the moon; ‘Langley to Houston to Canaveral’- All of the space command locations in 1969.

Hoping this finds you reference: Neil was certainly ‘Out of this world’ when landing on the moon.

Signatory: Deke Slayton, Air Force pilot, Mercury 7 astronaut, Chief of the Astronaut Office, Director of Flight Crew Operations, and Apollo-Soyuz astronaut.

Slide #13: Al Gore

Text clues: ‘campaigned long and hard’- Immediately narrows to a politician; ‘been such a loyal and true VP’- further narrows to Vice-Presidents; ‘CNN has just called Florida’- Most news networks originally called Florida for Gore on election night 2000, before backtracking, leading most people to think Gore had won; ‘So much for the Bush dynasty’- George W. Bush, son of former President George H.W. Bush, was Gore’s opponent; ‘beginning of eight more years’- Gore had been VP from 1993-2001; ‘Tennessee should be proud’- Gore was from Tennessee and had been a U.S. Senator representing that state; ‘Give Tipper my best, Hil says ‘hi’- A reference to Tipper Gore and Hillary Clinton.

Hoping this finds you reference: Gore never got to make a victory speech.

Signatory: Bill Clinton, President when Gore was VP.

Slide #14: Bill Gates

Background clue: Dot matrix printer paper!

Text clues: ‘insisting that software developers are paid’ and ‘Who cares what those computer hobbyists think’- Gates and Allen’s early work on Altair BASIC was widely pirated by early computer hobbyists.  Gates insisted on copyright claims, angering some of those computer builders. ‘meeting next week with IBM’- The July, 1980 contract between IBM and Microsoft set up at IBM as the major player in computer hardware and Microsoft in the same position on software.  ‘Excelling’ and ‘Word’- Microsoft Excel and Microsoft Word are two of the company’s flagship products.

Hoping this finds you reference: Microsoft Windows is the key product powering the company.

Signatory: Paul Allen is co-founder of Microsoft.

Slide #15: Margaret Thatcher

Background clue: Buckingham Palace letterhead.

Text clues: ‘brave men and women in the Falklands’- Thatcher was PM during the UK-Argentina Falklands War; ‘handling of the Hong Kong negotiations’- Thatcher negotiated the terms of the Hong Kong transfer to China at the end of the agreement for British control of the city; ‘Sending you, Dennis, and the children all my best’- A reference to Thatcher’s husband and their kids.

Hoping this finds you reference: Thatcher was famously known as the ‘Iron Lady’.

Signatory: Queen Elizabeth II.  I was unsure how she would sign her name in such a note, but found several example of letters to political figures that she signed simply, ‘Elizabeth’.

Slide #16: Pete Best

Text clues: ‘Epstein thinks’- Brian Epstein was the Beatles manager’ ‘great chance at Decca’- The Beatles breakthrough recording session came at Decca’s recording studios, but it was also the end of Best’s tenure with the band; ‘My Bonny’- One of the Beatles early recordings was a cover of ‘My Bonny’ and it gained them some attention at Decca; ‘George is working on some new stuff’- A passing reference to George Harrison; ‘The drummer is always key’- Best was the drummer, and his perceived shortcomings in that key role led to his dismissal; ‘You’re the...’- Just a play on words on Best’s name; ‘sure that you’ll be a Starr’- Best’s replacement was Ringo Starr.

Hoping this finds you reference: Best would not remain a member of the band.

Signatories: John Lennon and Paul McCartney

Slide #17: George Lucas

Background clue: Stephen Spielberg formed Amblin Entertainment in the early 1980s shortly before the release of E.T.

Text clues: ‘take on directing the second part of your space opera’- Lucas had decided not to direct after A New Hope.  There were some discussions with Spielberg, but the latter never directed a Star Wars film; ‘two pending sci-fi projects of my own’- E.T. and Poltergeist; ‘and the Indy sequel’- Temple of Doom was released in 1984; ‘Kershner or Marquand’- the eventual directors of Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi; ‘Crichton and I are discussing a project that we might need ILM on’- Spielberg directed the movie version of Crichton’s ‘Jurassic Park’ in 1993 and ILM did the special effects.  In reality, they would not discuss the novel until October 1989, shortly before its release; ‘Tell Harrison not to hurt himself’ and ‘behind the whip again’- References to Ford starring in in both Star Wars and Indiana Jones.

Hoping this finds you reference: The Force was with Lucas to the tune of a $4 billion sale to Disney.

Signatory: Steven Spielberg

Slide #18: Mary Shelley

Text references: ‘1 July 1822′- The date of Percy’s death; ‘news from London is good- Victor is a hit’- Mary’s novel ‘Frankenstein’ was released in 1822 to much acclaim; ‘Byron says he can’t wait to see what you produce next’- The poet Byron was a close friend of the Shelleys; ‘The Don Juan is ready to sail’- Percy’s ill-fated boat was named the ‘Don Juan’; ‘Williams and I plan to take her out’ and ‘I’m sure it will go well’- Percy and his friend Edward Wiliams launched the boat on July 1, 1822.  It sank and they were both killed as was a young deckhand they brought with them.

Hoping this finds you reference: Frankenstein was monstrously good.

Signatory: Percy Bysshe Shelley, Mary’s husband.

Slide #19: David Livingstone:

Text clues: ‘dispatched by the New York Herald’- Stanley’s expedition to find Livingstone was funded by the New York paper; ‘sail to Zanzibar in March’ and ‘try to locate you near Lake Tanganyika’- This was Stanley’s route; ‘anxioiusly await the Herald’s funding’- Stanley was delayed by slow funding from the paper.

Hoping this finds you reference: Livingstone was in Ujiji when Stanley found him.

Signatory: Henry Morton Stanley, speaker of the famous line, ‘Dr. Livingstone, I presume?’

Slide #20: Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

Background clue: Attorney General Letterhead

General note: I was hesitant about this one.  King and Bobby Kennedy were not close friends, and subsequent to their deaths have been described as ‘arms-length’ and ‘quiet rivals’.  I was careful to try not to suggest a closer relationship between them than actually existed.

Text clues: ‘Jack how good it was to see you in the Rose Garden’- This should immediately give the timeline as 1961-1963 and MLK was actually in the Rose Garden on June 22, 1963; seeking intervention for the SNCC’- President Kennedy was asked to intervene on behalf of the Student Nonviolent Coordinating Committee; ‘reached out to John Lewis’- A young Lewis was the SNCC leader and this clue should further help with timeline and subject matter; ‘formal proposal for the Civil Rights Act’- That proposal was in June 1963, contemporaneous to King’s Rose Garden visit; ‘southern trips- Miami, Tampa, Dallas’- JFK made those exact trips in November 1963, culminating with his assassination in Dallas, though they were more campaign stops than trips in support of the Civil Rights Act; ‘Washington March next month’- King’s legendary ‘I Have a Dream’ speech was made in August of 1963 during that march; ‘everything that you are dreaming of’- A reference to that speech.

Hoping this finds you reference: A nod to King’s ‘Been to the Mountaintop’ speech, delivered the night before his assassination in 1968.

Signatory: Robert Kennedy, then U.S. Attorney General

[max-is-tired]

Magic Mirror (Mirror’s Magic) Chapter 2

Pairing: brotherly Logince, future romantic Royality

Characters: Roman Sanders, Deceit Sanders, Logan Sanders (mentioned), Patton Sanders (mentioned)

Words: 2.809

Warnings for this chapter: Angst, Roman angst, implied character death, captivity, magic, morally-grey Deceit Sanders, Roman takes a very brash decision and someone else has to bear the consequences, please tell me if I forgot something

Notes: You guys have no idea how proud I am of this part -I had to split it in two bc it was becoming a monster of a chapter, but this right here?? God, I’m so so happy with how it turned out.

Thank you so much to @tigertigertigger for betaing this chapter and, well, I swear this fic will have a happy ending. It’ll just take a while to get there.

I hope you enjoy your daily dose of angst :)

(This story is heavily inspired by two Vocaloid songs. This chapter -and the next one- are inspired by this song.)

Commission me!!

Read on AO3!!

Go check @keuwibird‘s amazing art for this fic here!!

First || Next

We’ve seen Patton’s story unfold, everything beginning in an inconspicuous little cottage in the woods.

We’ve seen how a simple wish has granted him a second chance, seen how his selflessness brought an entire kingdom, destroyed by war and death, back to its former grandeur.

We’ve seen how Patton was given the most tempting of gifts, the power to bend reality itself right to his fingertips, and chose happiness, kindness, love –and we’ve seen exactly how high of a price he had to pay for it.

“What happens next?” You might ask.

Unfortunately, that is a difficult question to answer. Before we can properly do so, there’s one more tale we need to tell, one more destiny we need to show.

It’s the story of a young boy, born with magic buzzing through his veins and a million dreams running through his head.

It’s the story of a young prince, second son of the late king and queen, destined to serve and protect his kingdom and its people until his last breath.

It’s the story of a young knight, as talented with the sword as his brother is with words, forest green eyes twinkling red when emotions run wild and caramel brown hair always messed up by running in the wind.

It’s a story of magic, of choices, of misery and maybe, just maybe, a little bit of love.

It’s not a happy story, this one –and it all starts with betrayal.

+++

They thought they were prepared for it.

Logan had never been really loved by their so-called allies, even less since their parents died and he took their place on the throne –he’s young and quick-witted, well-versed in the arts of politics and diplomacy.

They couldn’t fool him with treaties and complicated negotiations, they’d learned that soon enough –Roman has had more than once the satisfaction to see that realization dawn on their faces, standing proudly at his brother’s side while barely being able to keep himself from giving them the smuggest smile he can muster.

So yeah, both Logan and Roman have always been very much aware of the fact that most representatives from the neighboring kingdoms aren’t very fond of them. Still, never in a million years could they have predicted it would all come to this.

Roman stares blankly at the ruined blue robe in the guard’s hands, eyes fixed on the dark patches covering the all-too-familiar golden ornaments –that’s Logan’s coat, he would recognize it anywhere, their family’s crest almost impossible to recognize under all the dried blood that’s Logan’s blood those bastards killed his brother-

“My prince,” comes a voice from his side, the captain of the royal guard stepping forward with a gaze as hard as steel and his mouth set into a thin line, “this means war.”

Silence falls in the room, heavy and charged as the prince takes a deep breath and straightens his back. When Roman opens his eyes again, they’re blazing red, a familiar fire burning inside him as his magic rumbles angrily in his soul.

“Then war they’ll have.”

+++

When Roman marches into war, there isn’t a single ounce of doubt or regret in his mind –those bastards have taken his brother away from him, and he’s dead set on making them pay for it dearly, no matter what it will take.

At that moment, he’s more than ready to sacrifice his own kingdom if it means Logan’s murderers will burn down with it. Who cares if he survives it all? At least his brother’s death will be avenged.

Sadly, that’s not what happens.

Their enemy is strong and organized, having meticulously planned for this since the very beginning –Roman’s kingdom has always had a remarkable military force, but with so little time to prepare compared to their opponents, it’s no wonder it goes as bad as it does.

The battle lasts barely a month, the opposing army quickly piercing their defense and pushing them more and more into retreat. It’s not long before they get completely overwhelmed, crushed and defeated.

Roman never admits defeat, not completely –even as his army is decimated right in front of his eyes, even as his kingdom is set ablaze and he’s forced to kneel in front of those he once called allies.

“You will pay for this,” he seethes even as his face is pressed in the mud, magic boiling helplessly in his blood even as the enchanted restraints he has been put in keep it at bay.

“Oh, little prince,” they smile, drunk in their victory as Roman’s home burns to ashes around them, "we'd like to see you try."

Roman roars in anger, kicking and struggling and biting even as two guards haul him to his feet and start dragging him towards his own castle.

"Lock him in one of the towers,", one of the leaders says, waving them away.

"After all, what's a prince without his castle?"

+++

Our story should end here.

It should end with Roman sitting in the sealed tower, left alone to rot away in the place he once called his home.

It should end with Roman trapped forever in the dark, left with the knowledge that his kingdom is in shambles and his brother's death will never be avenged.

That's the end fates had designed for him, this cruel destiny written in the stars from the very moment of his birth, and yet.

And yet.

An uninvited guest knocks at the door.

+++

If you were to ask Roman what he remembers from that fateful night, he would tell you it was dark and stormy outside -and he would be right.

Let's picture it together -thunder and lightning flashing outside, rain pouring from the sky as a lonely prince stares blankly at the ceiling of his cell, wondering when the end will finally come.

Then, a knock comes through the silence, startling him out of his spiraling thoughts.

Roman's first thought goes to the guards tasked with shoving food into the cell -never enough to really satisfy him or leave him at top strength, but just enough to keep him alive and healthy enough to not risk starvation or dehydration.

(He's also pretty sure they periodically slip in some sort of magic suppressant, his powers feeling weak and dormant in his blood, but Roman has figured that would happen the moment they removed the enchanted restraints from his wrists -if that hadn't been the case he would have already blown up the entire tower.)

Then, he frowns and throws a confused look at the tiny excuse of a window hovering several feet over his head -yup, still nighttime, the absolute darkness punctuated by sudden sparks of lightning as the storm outside keeps raging on. And since the sun hasn't risen just yet and he gets food only once when the night comes -which he remembers happening just a few hours prior- Roman's pretty sure that's not a strangely considerate guard, knocking to make their presence known.

So, that begs the question: who is it?

As another knock resounds in the otherwise silent cell, Roman cautiously stands up and quietly shuffles towards the closed door, hoping to somehow gain more clues about whoever is on the other side.

His hand hovers just a few inches from the door, a strange feeling pooling in his stomach as Roman suddenly finds himself hesitating -it's like a pull in his gut, a sense of uneasiness he finds eerily familiar, like a puzzle piece he knows is missing, but can't identify.

The resounding click of a lock coming undone jerks Roman out of his thoughts, sending him staggering backward as the door swings open and a cloaked figure calmly shuffles in.

"Hello, Your Highness," a voice draws from under the cloak, the figure hunching forward in what Roman can only assume is meant to be a bow.

"Who are you?" He asks, standing tall -or as tall as he can, his weakened legs barely holding up his weight as he warily looks at the stranger.

"Oh, I'm nothing but a lonely man seeking cover from the unforgiving weather," the figure hums, "I do hope my presence here is not unwelcome?"

"... No," Roman says after a moment of consideration -there's something about this man, a sensation Roman cannot name but that still makes all of the hair on his body stand up, goosebumps covering his arms as a little voice in the back of his mind warns him to be cautious, "just unexpected. May I ask who do I have the pleasure to talk to?"

"People call me Dee," the man answers "it is a pleasure to meet you, my Prince."

"Oh, please, stop with the formalities," Roman huffs, looking away as he nods to his cell, "as you can see, I am anything but a prince right now."

"And why would that be? You're standing in your castle, and your kingdom and subjects are still out there-"

"Yes, suffering and dying for a war I brought us all in!" Roman exclaims, anger coursing through his veins as he takes one threatening step forward. "And at what cost? We were defeated, utterly annihilated, and now my kingdom is burning under my own eyes and there's nothing I can do to stop it. So no, I am not a prince, because I'm the farthest I can be from deserving that title right now."

The stranger lets out a noncommittal hum, tilting his head to the side as he watches Roman pace angrily around the cell.

Then, he smirks, small, pointed fangs glinting in the dark of the room.

"Who says there is no way for you to change all of this?"

Roman freezes on the spot, his posture tensing as his mind registers the stranger's words.

"Please," he finally answers, shaking his head as a bitter chuckle escapes his lips, "how could that even be possible? I have no army, no friends, no magic. Let's face it-" he turns once again towards Dee, opening his arms as he gestures to his cell- "my fate has been written: to rot alone in this sealed tower -scorned, despised, hated, destined to be forgotten in the sands of time while those who destroyed my home feast and bask in my family's death."

"No destiny is set in stone, Your Highness," Dee counters, smirk never once leaving his lips, "least of all yours. You have a connection, prince Roman, and that connection is the cause of your misfortune."

Roman blinks, confused. "A… connection? To what?"

"Not to what," Dee hums, a hand reaching out from under the cloak as yellow sparks suddenly fill the space just beside him, "to whom."

That's the moment Roman's mind screeches to a halt, the last few minutes playing in his head as the uneasy, cautionary feeling that has been nagging him since the moment the door had opened finally, finally falls into place. Because those sparks are eerily familiar, dancing and falling through the air as a dusty old mirror stands tall at Dee's side, glass glinting in the dark as Roman takes a wary step backward -he's one-hundred percent sure that mirror wasn't there until a few seconds ago, so the only possible explanation is-

"You're a magic user," Roman whispers, eyes wide as his gaze travels back and forth from the mirror to Dee.

"That I am, my prince," the man grins, "did you not realize? You have magic yourself, after all."

"My magic has been severely weakened in order to keep me here -you'll find that it is quite arduous to sense the magic around you when you can just barely feel your own."

"I suppose that makes sense," Dee concedes with a tilt of his head, before gesturing to the mirror, "but let us not dwell on unimportant matters-" he says, beckoning him closer- "do you not want to know the reason of your misfortune?"

Still unsure, Roman warily steps forward until he's standing right in front of the mirror, his reflection staring back at him with confusion evident in his eyes.

Grinning, Dee leans forward and whispers something, the ancient language of the druids of old rolling effortlessly on his tongue as the air around them suddenly feels charged -like something ancient and incredibly, incredibly powerful is slowly awakening in that lonely tower surrounded by the fires of destruction. It's a foreign feeling, so far away from the sense of security Roman is used to when in presence of magic -and he knows, he knows that should render him far warier about Dee and whatever he's trying to show him, there's a voice in the back of his head that sounds a lot like Logan yelling at him how he should step away immediately, this isn't normal, you don't know what is happening-

And yet.

And yet.

Roman doesn't look away. He keeps standing there, as if trapped in a trance, as the mirror's surface starts glowing, lighting up the room for a few seconds and making Roman close his eyes on instinct when the light just becomes too much to look at.

When he opens his eyes again, Roman can't help the surprised gasp tumbling out of his mouth, gaze transfixed on the mirror's reflection as he tries to properly register what he's seeing.

From the surface of the mirror, a young boy lets out a delighted laugh, his blonde hair reflecting sunlight Roman can't see as pure happiness dances in his eyes -blue like the sky on a sunny day, Roman distantly notes, glinting with joy from behind a pair of big, round glasses.

"Who… is that?" Roman asks, not quite able to conceal the way his voice has almost turned breathy in his stupor.

"In the world through the mirror, everything is set in reverse," Dee reveals, "this boy's fate is deeply intertwined with yours -his happiness is your sadness, his luck is your misery, his kingdom's peace?" The magician looks at Roman, smirking widely as he watches the realization of his words' meaning dawn on him, "your kingdom's destruction."

Roman takes a step back, face pale as realization gives the place to horror. "That can't be true."

"And yet, it is," Dee says, shrugging, "fate chose to give him a happy, fulfilling life and carelessly throw you aside. Such a pity, isn't it?"

"That's-" Roman's breath is quick now, heart hammering in his chest doubt and fear swirl and clash in his mind- "that's not fair!"

"It isn't, isn't it?" Dee agrees, "you could have been great, given the chance to prove your worth. And yet, fate preferred that boy over you -it took away your brother, your kingdom, your happiness, just to give that fortunate boy a destiny that should've been yours. What a shame, really."

Roman clenches his fists, taking in a few deep breaths -he wants to scream and cry and curse at the universe, Dee's words echoing in his head over and over as rage rushes through his veins. But he can't let himself go just yet, not as long as the mysterious magician is standing in front of him and watching his every move.

"Why are you telling me all this?" He asks instead, voice surprisingly steady as a storm rages inside him -he can distantly feel his magic react to his emotions, thrumming deep inside him as it pushes and slams against whatever is keeping his powers locked away.

"As I said, no destiny is set in stone," Dee answers with a grin, "that happiness was yours, and it is only right that I help you get it back, is it not?"

Roman frowns, keeping his expression schooled even as he can feel a spark of hope make its way into his chest. "And how would you do that?"

"Just say the word, my prince, and everything your heart yearns for will be finally yours."

Deafening silence falls in the dark cell, the air charged with a million possibilities as Roman finds himself with his heart's greatest desire standing right in front of him.

He looks at the boy's blue eyes, his smile shining like a thousand suns, and feels something inside himself harden into stone, nodding his head towards Dee.

The magician lets out a boisterous laugh, yellow sparks dancing all around him as the mirror's reflection darkened and disappeared.

"Your wish is my command, Your Highness!" He exclaims, magic whooshing around Roman as his own seems to react to it -he can almost feel the familiar tingling sensation traveling up to his fingertips, warmth flowing through his soul as yellow magic fills his vision.

"The scales of destiny have been replaced!" Dee announces as Roman feels his consciousness start to fade.

"So forget everything, my prince-" a fanged grin, green scales shining in the light as Dee's cloak falls away- "and rejoice."

A single, yellow eye meets Roman's gaze.

Then, darkness falls.

[avvidstarion]

For the album ask game... how about The Black Parade?

oh ABSOLUTELY. i LOVE you. this is all subject to change at the drop of the hat bc im wishy-washy and i love all of these songs anyway so

this got WAY too long so i am putting it under a readmore shhvkldlkdgjlkdsj

not including b-sides:

1. Teenagers- kind of a basic pick i know, BUT, in my defense, the song slaps. it’s such a fun song, especially when you’re singing it at the top of your lungs. the guitar part is super cool too- im trying to learn it rn but it’s a slow process bc im bad at guitar.

2. Mama- what can i say. it fucks. the old time-y feel, the harmonies/background vocals, the layers. the guitar goes so fucking hard. banging lyrics- “you should’ve raised a baby girl, i should have been a better son”??????? songs to be trans to.”but the shit that i’ve done with this fuck of a gun” is the kind of lyric that you can only properly convey if you’re screaming it at the top of your lungs. the whole ending is just. mind blowing

3. The End.- LISTEN!!!!!!!!! the end is WAY TOO FUCKING UNDERRATED!!!! oh my goddd i love it so much. i love it SO much. it’s such a perfect beginning to the song. the lyrics are great (”now come one, come all, to this tragic affair” if you look in the mirror and don’t like what you see, you can find out first hand what it’s like to be me”, “another contusion, my funeral jag. here’s my resignation, i’ll serve it in drag. you’ve got front row seats to the penitence ball, when i grow up, i want to be NOTHING AT ALL!!! SAVE ME!!! GET ME THE HELL OUT OF HERE!!!! SAVE ME!!! TOO YOUNG TO DIE, AND MY DEAR!!! IF YOU CAN HEAR ME JUST WALK AWAY AND TAKE ME!!). the bit with the snapping and the ooooohs is fun too. such a good song, it could honestly be 1 or 2 but my ranking system isnt based in logic and makes no sense to even myself

4. House of Wolves- house of wolves was my favorite mcr song for a good chunk of time, but as a result i’m kinda burned out on it, which is why it isn’t higher.  however it is still number four  because it’s objectively a fucking amazing song. the guitar is so fuckin fun, the lyrics are great, and it’s just. fun to dance around and sing it at the top of your lungs. you better run like the devil cause they’re never gonna leave you alone!!!!! tell me i’m a bad, bad, bad, bad man!!!

5. Welcome to the Black Parade- the big man itself. the titular song. their biggest hit. a lot of people shit on wttbp for being popular and, like, pretty much the only song of theirs to ever be on the radio anymore (and even then it’s once in a blue moon), BUT. it got popular for a reason. it’s a really good song. i love the structure of it, i love how it builds and builds and builds. the lyrics are wonderfully done- “a world that sent you reelin from decimated dreams/ your misery and hate will kill us all”, the whole “do or die, you’ll never make me” stanza is The Ultimate rallying cry. and the “im just a man, i’m not a hero” is just. ughghghdlkslakdjglsdkg. the titular song of an album entirely about death and dying and misery being SO hopeful and SO upbeat really portrays the album as a whole much differently- mcr is known as The Emo Band because, yeah, their aesthetic is dark and their songs touch dark stuff but they have never been all whiney and boo-hoo-y and melancholic for the sake of melancholy. there’s always been a positive note to their music and a lot of people just don’t get that which makes me sad. anyway. wttbp is fun and i like it and i like the drums and the trumpets at the end. marching bands fuck

6. Blood- ok so the pattern here seems to be that i favor the fun songs over the slow ones, and blood sticks with that. much like with mama, i love the old time-y feel. i love that this is like a fun little bonus ditty to end the album on. the lyrics are silly and fun and jovial, and the piano is great. love it and it makes me happy

7. Disenchanted- OUGHH. OUUUUUGH. i know cancer is objectively the saddest song on the album, but disenchanted just hits different. “when the lights all went out, we watched our lives on the screen/ i hate the ending myself, but it started with an alright scene” just DECIMATES me, man. the acoustic guitar is a nice change of pace, and the vocal performance is just. so fucking emotional. especially the “woahhhhhhhh-ohs” at the end. great song, makes me Feel Emotions

8. The Sharpest Lives- ok so i know this is pretty much in the middle of the list, but i want to stress that i dont hate any of the songs on this album, so even the middle of the list is pretty fuckin good imo. the sharpest lives makes me go batshit.  the lyrics are so fucking wild. “a light to burn all the empires, so bright the sun is ashamed to rise and be” is SO fuckin sick like OH my god. what a line. also “there’s a place in the dark where the animals go/ you can take off your skin in the cannibal glow/ juliet loves the beat and the lust it commands/ drop the dagger and lather the blood on your hands, romeo” like WHAT?????????????? GERARD POPPED OFF W THIS ONE FOLKS!! also i love how at the beginning the whisper-y vocals bounce from ear to ear. also “so why don’t you blow me......a kiss before she goes” is fuckin hilarious. honestly this song should be higher but i havent gone through a phase where i’ve been obsessed w it yet so it stays down here for now. one day it will take hold and be all i can listen to for a month straight and THEN it will climb the ranks. 

9. Cancer- makes me cry like a liddol baby. my mom doesnt let it play in the car cause it makes her too sad. twenty one pilots covered it and it was FUCKING AWFUL so the song is kinda ruined now cause i can only think about their shitty cover. like the AUDACITY. but anyway besides that the song is heart wrenching and amazing. the hardest part of this is leavin you!!!!

10. Dead!- look, i know technically the end. and dead! are the same song/ are just continuations of each other but i’m listing them separately bc dead! is, to me, the worse of the two. not that it’s bad or anything, it just doesn’t pop off the same way the end. and all the songs before it on the list do. however i do love the guitar at the beginning and the solo, and the “one! two! one two three four! LA LA LA LAs” are super fucking fun. 

11. Famous Last Words- i used to hate this song!!!! i truly did!! it’s obvs not on the top of my list now or anything, but i have grown to appreciate it a lot more than i used to. like with wttbp, it is the silver lining of the album that betrays its optimistic side. it’s a happy final message to a dark album. the ending is fucking amazing. I am not afraid to keep on living!!!! i am not afraid to walk this world alone!!!!!!

12. Sleep- Sleep is, unfortunately, just kinda boring in comparison. i almost forgot to even put it on the list. however, i do like the “the hardest part’s the awful things that i’ve seen” and the “a drink, for the horrors that i’m in. for the good guys and the bad guys, for the monsters that i’ve been” lines. also the “three cheers for tyranny, unapologetic apathy!” line. but overall it’s just. eh

13. This is How I Disappear- i have. complicated feelings on tihid. on one hand, it reminds me of my favorite oc, re, and is on their playlist. on the other hand, i have grown bored with it over time. it just doesn’t stand out to me at all really. that being said, i do really like the “who walks among the famous living dead” and the “can you hear me cry out to you” stanzas. 

14. I Don’t Love You- while i dont think idly is a bad song at all, it just simply isnt my kind of song. i do think gerard’s vocals are extremely strong throughout, especially during the “when you go, would you have the guts to say/ i don’t love you like i loved you yesterday” line. like wow ok maam please continue. but overall i just dont vibe w breakup songs bc i cant relate

including b sides: 1. Heaven Help Us

2. Kill All Your Friends

3. Everything else

4. My  Way Home is Through You

my reasoning: 

heaven help us is tied for my favorite mcr song Of All Time. everything about this song is catnip for lil old me. the angsty christian imagery, the vocals, the guitar. all of it. the lyrics make me lose my mind, especially the “will you pray for me? or make a saint of me? and will you lay for me? or make a saint of- cause i’ll give you all the nails you need/cover me in gasoline/ wipe away those tears of blood again/ and the punchline to the joke is asking ‘SOMEONE SAVE US’” and the “you don’t know a thing about my sins/ or the misery begins/ you don’t know, so i’m burnin! I’m burnin!!!” parts. like i absolutely vibe with this song so fucking hard. i sing it constantly, it’s great to sing (very stimmy for me), it sounds beautiful. i am obsessed with it through and through

similarly, kill all your friends also speaks to my very soul. i can’t pick favorite lyrics bc id just have to copy and paste the whole song. i love the build-up, i love the time progression throughout the song (it’s been TEN FUCKING YEARS since i’ve been seein your faaaaaace rounnnnnd heeeere), i love the “you’ll never take me alives”. literally everything about this song makes me emo. it just Gets Me. it’s literally about my greatest fear. all my friends growing up and moving away and getting on with their lives without me, leaving me to rot in my hometown waiting for them to return. we only see each other at weddings and funerals, so it’s time to kill all your friends so we can party when the funeral ends!! it’s probably tied with heaven help us, but i’m putting it at number two just because it didn’t hook me as strongly as hhu did. it’s more of a strong, steady favorite than a “this song has latched on to my very soul and i have to listen to it on repeat over and over and over again”, if that makes sense. it’s still in my top 5 mcr songs though

i never vibed with my way home is through you. i don’t listen to it often, and i just don’t really feel it. it’s not bad, it’s just. eh.

anyway if you’ve read this far down i love you so much. thank you for listening to me ramble, mcr means a lot and i love to infodump about my music tastes. i really really appreciate being given an opportunity to do so <3

[dontyouhearmehowling]

oh my god. Ok so I just scrolled through your blog and my heart hurts because there is so much love and just so much stuff I can relate too and I just ahhh damnnn it I cant even but like can I please have the story of your relationship with this girl your with? please? i'm a hopeless romantic I feel too much I love so hard my own love life is complicated but i know the kind of love you talk about thats exactly how i love the love of my life too so yours is a story I need to hear

ok so. it all started on April 31st, 2018. i reblogged one of those ask games and she sent me an emoji that said “i’m too scared to talk to you but i think you’re great” and i was like do it!!! and she did!!!! she texted me after i had already gone to sleep tho, so i only answered the next day. but then we talked all day. and the next. and the next. and we never ran out of things to talk about and even only knowing her for a few days i already felt comfortable enough with her to talk about anything?? it was wild. since day 1 we’ve had this connection that i’ve never had with anyone else and its my favorite thing in the world. after like a week we already had a bunch of inside jokes, something that i’d never had before, and i was already crushing on her. ok so we became very close friends like immediately, and i mostly ignored my crush on her bc i thought she didn’t like me back and usually i’d get meaningless crushes on everyone at first before i met her. but then this other girl and i started flirting and i realized i didnt like her bc i liked c too much, so i broke things off and kinda went like “oh shit this is real” and decided that i’d just stay friends with c until i eventually couldnt take it anymore and had to tell her abt my feelings bc thats how i am. anyways ok cool meanwhile i made her watch the good place on rabb.it with me which will be relevant later.

ok so fast forward to may 21st or something around that time. its time to sleep bc i have school the next day so we say goodnight, but then i guess she says something or reblogs something and i get sad bc i realize she doesnt like me back. so i make some hashtag sad posts abt yearning and then i realize i told her i was going to sleep and i didnt want her to think i didnt want to talk to her so i text her again and say like “ok i was going to go to sleep but then i got sad abt my crush” and SHE GOES “you have a crush????????” and im there like. what in the hell bc not only did i not try to hide it At All, i constantly posted about it and had an entire tag about her and i thought it was pretty obvious. so anyways i go “yes?? i thoought you knew that?? im literally always posting about it??” and she asks me to talk abt the crush and who it is. i say “just stalk the tag if u want, im going to sleep” then shes like “nO WAIT WHO IS IT” and im like. blatantly ignoring that and my heart is already beating out of my chest but she Really wants to know and then at one point i say “please dont make me answer that” so shE SAYS “you’re making me think that its me” and i say “i dont know what you want me to say” and SHE GOES “I WANT YOU TO SAY THAT ITS ME BC I HAVE A HUGE CRUSH ON YOU” so i just. die. right then and there. also yknow we talk about it and its like after 1 am and im just happier than i’ve ever been. ok so 2 days later she asks me out Officially and its great and shes the cutest gf ever and she made me feel more wanted than i’d ever felt in my entire life. then 6 days later she sends me a big big big text on tumblr and long story short (bc it was kinda personal), she would be deleting her all social media for the summer.

so she was gone. and we had only dated for a week at this point, but we’d known each other for 2 months, and i already loved her. i already knew she was the love of my life. i didnt even try to move on, i’d tell people i didnt wanna move on cuz i knew i was meant to love her. i had another blog like this that i used to talk about how much i loved and missed her (so like. exactly like this). i literally reasoned with myself that like. that happened because before i met her i was in a really bad place after a terrible relationship and i was almost giving up on finding someone who actually made me feel loved bc i thought it would never happened, so i was like “ok so i was in a really bad place, so the universe brought my soulmate a little early just for a while so that i would know i had to hold on, and when its actually time for us to be together, it will bring us to each other once again” like i actually told myself that, in those words. and yknow what? i wasnt even wrong. on july 15th she texted me from an empty tumblr with her old url and at first i literally couldnt believe it but we talked for hours and hours and i asked her what happened bc i thought she was disconnecting for the summer and she said “i was. i am. i just couldnt not talk to you anymore” and she said that she thought about me every single day, and i told her i missed her and she said she didnt text sooner bc she thought i’d be angry at her and ofc i wouldnt, i could never be angry at her and besides, she was just taking care of herself and i said i dont think i could be anything less than head over heels for for, and she said she felt the same way, but wasnt ready to be more than friends yet. but that had always been more than enough for me. just having her in my life would always be more than enough for me. so we stayed friends.

then, on august 9th i got this ask.

and she saw it after i said i was gonna go to bed (bc again, i had school the next day) and she texted me a whole thing about how that was the nicest thing anyone had ever said about her and that i should be asleep but she had to get it out of her chest and that her anxiety made it hard for her to show how much i meant to her so she was sorry if i didnt know and this would probably make no sense but she was tired of keeping it to herself bc shes the luckiest person alive for having met me and that it was gonna be so hard because shes so difficult (shes not) and her anxiety is difficult but that she literally spent every night thinking about me and of buying plane tickets to come see me so that she could be with me. then she was like “im sorry if this is uncomfortable to you and you can just ignore it but i think im in love with you and this is over text and not romantic at all (it was the most romantic night of my life) but you’re asleep (i wasnt) and we arent together but i want to be one day” and until this i was Trying to fall asleep and then i checked my phone that kept RINGING and died a thousand times over and started to answer and she sent other texts saying “i’ve never felt this way about anyone before i’m so in love with you its fucking ridiculous and this is gonna be so complicated but fuck i want this so bad / i’m sorry it took me so long / would you move to new york with me?” and i was This Close to literally fucking exploding like. how the hell was this happening how was it not a DREAM. so we talked and i obviously said i loved her too and eventually she asked me out and thats still probably the best night of my life. other highlights: “i’ve loved you way before august 9th so jot that down” and “off topic but i love you / you’re honestly my other half” and, after i said “you cant make me laugh its 2am”, she answered “i’m going to make you laugh for the rest of your life so help me god” and thats my favorite thing anyone has ever said to me probably and so far she’s kept her word.

anyways we got back together and then she told me that she never even told her friends she broke up with me??? bc that way she could keep pretending we were still together???? literally like sjdksndk imagine being this loved. i dont have to. anyways she wrote poems abt me sometimes and her christmas gift for me was gonna be a book with all her poems and she called it “what we owe to each other” because of the good place (remember how i said it’d be relevant later? its later) bc like she said that when we were watching tgp together on rabb.it thats when she realized that she Really Truly liked me like For Real. and the inscription on the book was going to be “to the girl i love / and what i owe her” and. yall. i cry. anyways one of the poems had a huge impact on us. heres the story:

and she got them but we broke up before she got to mail them to me. what happened was she had some mental health problems and she said she couldnt give me what i needed at the time but knew i’d still give her my all bc thats just how i am and she thought it wouldnt be fair so she broke things off to work on her mental health. she said she would need some time before we could be friends. the last thing we said was that we loved each other. this was in like november 2018, and we didnt talk for months. i actually tried to move on this time after a while, but it didnt take. and then i gave up for good. havent tried since. but anyways, then, on march 11th, 2019, i had my first day of college back in my home country, and we have this “pranks”/games that seniors get to do to the freshmen, and one of them required eggs, and they asked us to paint them, so i panted mine as iron man bc it was easy, but c LOVES iron man. like. LOVES. like in a Whole New Level of loving. once when we were dating she said she loved me more than tony stark and i was like. shook. like she tattooed “T.S” on her ankle after him. u get the point. she loves him very much, its adorable and endearing and i love it. anyways. so i sent her a picture of it saying like “you dont have to answer this but i made this for my university and i thought you would like it” and she answered and IMMEDIATELY something clicked and we talked and talked and talked and it was never weird or awkward or uncomfortable. it never is with her. its incredible, i cant explain it. i Know shes my soulmate like thats the ONLY possible explanation for this kind of connection. its unreal. anyways. we became friends again! all was well.

then one beautiful night she drunk texts me sndjkajs she sends me so many texts and says it sucks that we live so far away and that she saw my posts (in this particular case, one that said something about like. when she talked about love now, was it about someone else?) and she said that it wasnt. and then she went to sleep and i only saw the texts when i woke up and i was DYING bc we had a 4 hour difference and it’d take a while for her to wake up. when she did, we talked and she said she wasnt over me and was scared she might never be, and even though we were still gonna stay friends, it was nice to know that she still loved me. ok so fast forward a bit more and i was starting to wonder if she’d moved on again, when she finds out her best friend had a crush on her, and that conversation ends up with her saying “it was 100% platonic for me / sorry if thats weird i just wanted you to know that” and it was NOT weird it was GREAT NEWS bc i was Hella jealous of her best friend and at first i wondered if they were dating and anyways the fact that she wanted me to know that was a pretty good hint that she still had feelings for me. ngl im still somewhat jealous of h (c’s best friend), but thats just bc im an insecure lil bitch and also bc they get to go out and do stuff together that i cant do with c bc of the distance, yknow? but anyways. then she went on a graduation trip in mid to the end of june and she bought me a magnet. just. out of nowhere. i cannot stress enough how Incredibly unexpected this was. so much so that i actually convinced myself that it meant she was over me????? literally. what the fuck. anyways we named him together and coincidentally (or bc of soulmate powers. who knows) we both had the same favorite names. i still love that.

okay so then we go to july 29th, 2019. first of all theres one of my favorite interactions Ever which was like after i was venting about something and i was thanking her and i said “you’re always here for me” to which she answered “nowhere else i’d rather be” and i still think thats peak romance and i will take no criticism on this. anyways so then she sent me a poem that she wrote based on a song i’d sent her (the song i called “heaven is a place” and its the BIGGEST mood for being in love and i sent it to her bc it was how i felt about her so her writing a poem about it?? literally the best thing ever. love it) anyways it was a beautiful poem and i cried and got very emotional and kinda went too far in my compliments (aka being very obvious about my romantic feelings) and then i was like oh no sorry if i made u uncomfortable and she was like. “you have NEVER. EVER EVER EVER EVER made me uncomfortable” “you’re the only person on planet earth i am comfortably myself around” and “there’s nothing you could ever say that i wouldn’t wanna hear” and anyways it was just very good and romantic conversation even tho we were just cough cough platonic hashtag gal pals hashtag no homo ✌️ and then she was like ok wait. i need to talk to u abt something. and in short she said she was waiting for us and i was like well what are you waiting for exactly? and she was like idk?? for us to accidentally bump into each other in new york in a few years?? WHICH WAS LITERALLY WHAT I’D DAYDREAM ABOUT BACK IN JUNE 2018 BEFORE SHE CAME BACK OKAY so anyways we had a Great conversation and said i love you about a thousand times each and she decided she was gonna buy tickets to come see me. and then she dID like TWO DAYS LATER. lichrally. queen of impulsivity but in the best way possible.

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ok quick edit here cuz i forgot to say that when i found out she was coming i asked for my mom’s help to make a necklace pendant for her from scratch. my mom works with prosthetics so she has the material to make jewelry and back when c and i were dating in 2018 i had made this lil design for a necklace that had the moon and the ocean (bc duh) and i was gonna give it to her for valentines day in 2019 but we broke up before that so i didnt get the chance, but when i found out i was meeting her i knew i had to. so i made the necklace in wax, like this:

and my mom took it to her work and heated it up to melt it and keep the shape of it to fill with silver, and this was the result:

i gave it to her when she got here and she wore it while she was here and it made me so happy. ok edit over

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ok so we kept being like couple-y but not officially in a relationship bc we didnt want to make her anxiety worse. also at one point she was like “so about the ‘i love you more than the moon/ocean’ thing, since we BOTH love BOTH of the moon AND the ocean, i think its only Fair if we update our love declarations to ‘i love you more than the mocean’ bc its mix of both but thats not a word, buT its pronounced exactly like ‘motion’. therefore we should both start saying ‘i love you more than the motion’”. so now we have both the wonderful, romantic, original version, and the NOT ROMANTIC AT ALL DO U HEAR ME C??? version :) and after this day she always started with the WORST!!!!!! version, and i always started with the Only Valid Version, but we’d still answer each other’s ofc because. well. thats love i gues?? it sorta goes like this though: her: i love you more than the motion / me: i hate u / me: i literally hate u so much / me: i Also love you more than the motion

but anyways she was coming to visit me but the plane ticket wasnt for my home country it was for where i was going to university at (a new university, i was starting over) and when i first got here on this campus, i didnt have a working phone number for this country, and i wouldnt be able to access the wifi for 3 days, so i had no way of talking to her. it was TERRIBLE and i missed her more than anything in my LIFE but when i got wifi (after CRYING to the people here bc theyre the most unorganized uni ever and i was already very overwhelmed and stressed) i immediately called her and she’d sent me over 100 text messages dkfjssjks it was amazing, there were two (2) videos of her singing (which is like. objectively the best thing in the world, and the song was rlly romantic and i love it sm when she showed it to me for the first time she said it made her think abt me), a poem, AND a HUGE text with “i love you” written like. a THOUSAND TIMES. seriously i have a gif of it opening and scrolling bc it was so long that the text wouldnt show up directly on the chat screen and u have to click on it to see the rest. i’d never felt more loved in my entire life by anyone ever. anyways so then it came the day for her to get here and i had to wake up at 5 am to go get her at the airport and the uber was like $40 but who CARES it was the best day of my LIFE and i got there 20 minutes earlier bUT GUESS WHAT SO DID SHE (hashtag just soulmate things) then we facetimed the entire time while she was walking through the airport and getting her luggage and then she hung up to walk to the door where i was and we hugged for like 5 minutes and we were totally in people’s way and also almost fell but it was the best thing in the world and i never should’ve let her go. but, we had to go home, so i did. and we spent 4 days together and im not gonna go into details bc this is already too long but u can always send me another ask about her visit if ur not a coward. also i bought her a hoodie from my uni and whenever she wears it i just. die. in short, those days were the happiest i’ve ever been. this campus res had never felt like home before that friday and it hasnt again since that monday, but i swear to god, during those 4 days, this was the only place i could possibly belong.

anyways then she left and i cried for the entire uber ride home and then i cried all day. lmao. also when she was here she gave me the poetry book, the magnet, and the bracelet. still wear the bracelet every single day and i love it more than anything. but then personal stuff happened and we kinda stopped being couple-y again and we’re just friends now but before new years i asked her if she still loved me and she said yes and she said she’d tell me if it changed so ✌️✌️ im assuming it hasnt. even tho my brain is a bitch and everyday its like. today. today is the day. this is when its gonna happen. buT yknow we’ve spent months before without even talking to each other and we got through that still in love, so i mostly ignore it. and tbh i know that actually like, even if we grow apart now (god forbid, but still) we’ll find our way back to each other eventually. like, i’ve said this before and i’ll say it again: nothing, not even the universe itself, can convince me that shes not my soulmate. and even if it turns out i’m not hers, loving her is still the greatest honor i can think of.

another edit: also i started drawing recently and the first person i’ve ever finished drawing was her and also (surprise surprise @c since you’re already seeing all my feelings anyway) bc of my second drawing i almost missed the deadline for one of my midterms (which was a take-home test) bc instead of writing it i spent the entire day before the deadline finishing the drawing which was a secret valentines day gift (secret as in she didnt know it was supposed to be a gift, she thought it was just a drawing inspired by a quote that she loves) and i finished at 2 am but shes 3 hours behind so for her it was still 11 pm which MEANS it was still valentines day so it still counts, i win, lesbian rights!