#many public appearances and awards later

[ventismacchiato]

stuck with you — windblume !

˗ˏˋ profiles ´ˎ˗

yn — main vocalist which makes you the most popular member. you go viral every other week for getting into petty arguments on twitter and weverse with scaramouche. should definitely learn media training because you tend to rant about him too much during lives. ‘compilations of scaramouche and yn bickering’ are super common. you’re also the only member to release a solo album which gets you guys a lot of new fans. became an idol after being a trainee for way too many years, which is why you’re salty about scara debuting so quickly when he became an idol trainee after you. [🍰]

xiao — main dancer. choreographs a lot of the dances if not all. very introverted in public but talkative in behind the scenes vlogs with his group. xiao stans have it hard because this man hardly posts anything. fans call him the dad of the group because he’s always sneaking food onto everyone’s plates and keeping them hydrated during practice. when you guys first debuted everyone thought he was mean and cold when really he’s just a quiet sweetheart. has a tattoo sleeve that the fans haven’t seen the entirety of yet, jungkook vibes in that sense. most expensive photocards after you, the one of him in cat ears and winking goes for hundreds. [🦊]

lumine — leader of the group and one of the only responsible ones. strict about keeping everyone on schedule and trying to appear presentable at music and award shows. tries to drag you all to the gym at five in the morning but to no avail. she vlogs her gym routine and whatever member she dragged that morning is usually seen in the back sitting on a yoga ball the entire time, talking as she runs miles on the treadmill. always setting trends for workout routines and makeup looks. once it touches her face it sells out. her twin is also an idol so they both do a lot of tiktoks and videos together. it siblings. [☀️]

fischl — one of the lyricists for the group. so chronically online. she’s always active at odd hours of the night and interacting with her fans. posts the most too, so fischl biases are always full with content. wears an eyepatch as part of her idol persona, and still manages to perform with it on. will do book club livestreams where she’ll talk about her current favorite book with her fans for two hours or more. lumine has to shut the live off everytime because she will just keep yapping. [🦉]

venti — writes most of the group's songs and runs production. most unserious member and should really attend a public image class because he does not know how to be a celebrity. fans are constantly finding vapes in the back of his photos and videos of him drunk at award shows. went viral once for showing up to a music show high off his mind but still managing to perform. will dye the ends of his hair different colors every comeback from his fan’s requests. loves to go live and sing covers for whatever people ask for. he does qnas and takes the tmis too seriously. [🌱]

yoimiya — visual and vocalist, will bring out her guitar during concerts a lot. the only member who will go to the gym with lumine. became an idol because she used to busk in her hometown and got picked up by your manager while she was on vacation. would be the type of idol to adore fancalls and do decorating photocards on livestreams. gets invited to a lot of variety shows and was probably a judge for a survival show at one point. [🧨]

windblume —one of the idol groups underneath sakura entertainment,  a six member mix gendered idol group known for their whimsical and indie comebacks every year. think of txt’s brand when it comes to your guys’ style of music. have been a group for about three years. members range from 21-22. their debut album Temptation got them to their popularity today. fandom name: bloomies

stuck with you !

masterlist — next

for my nonkpop fans the emojis are their assigned ones for when people post their livestream quotes, will make more sense later 😓 and weverse is basically twitter but just for idols to interact with fans

tried not to describe yn too much because i want it to be inclusive, any photos showing yn are just to depict the pose! not gender, race, or body type 🙏

spent way too long making custom instagram templates and for what help so pls look at them xx it’s so u can visualize what these 2d mfs wud look like in this au

pls lmk in the masterlist comments if i can use ur username and make you a fan in the au!

synopsis — after the disaster that was the live award show, where you and scaramouche got into an argument on stage after both of your groups got a tie for top artists, your guys' PR teams have been in shambles trying to scrape up your mess. that's when the idea to send you both off with some other idols to a remote location for a survival dating show to mend your public image comes up. before you know it your bags are packed and you’re on a plane to a remote island. the only obligation is you need to end up with scaramouche at the end of the show, whether you end up liking him or not doesn’t matter to your managers as long as the show’s ratings stay high. whatever you do in between to get there is up to you!

notes — it’s my exam week so all i have to give you is profiles for now </3

taglist is closed!

taglist — @na1lea @cindywasneverhere @lunavixia @sheraeera @aestherin @mlaakai @camvrin @retiredmommylover @kitsuvil @iheartpieck @crystalcrys @cartierfiles @loveariel @silly-ez @mochipls @pomeiu @chuuismylife @flowerypesky @creammpuff @justanothertiredreader @boxdisappeared @kissmiere @crucnhice @kissingkzuha @webbywill @kazusboyfriend @s3xpistolss @pjsucks @bunns-wonderland @lordbugs @localgirlywithnolife @kosumos @danfelions @scarasmood @featuredtofu @pinxeajin @herebyaccident0 @scaradooche @pglt19 @chemiru @childesbabygirl @simonisferal @shutingstar @vxcmx @domimiki @ttalgi @esuz @tokkishouse @lilachasawesomehair @xxrexx

[hotvintagepoll]

Propaganda

Ava Gardner (The Killers, The Barefoot Contessa)— She's so goddamn hot. Her and Frank Sinatra could've sandwiched me and I would've thanked them for the privilege

Dorothy Dandridge (Carmen Jones, Porgy and Bess, Island in the Sun)— The first Black actress to ever be nominated for best actress, Dorothy Dandridge was a groundbreaking actress who deserved better. She started her career as a singer, being put in a song-and-dance duo with her sister by their stage mother, and singing in soundies (I highly recommend cow cow boogie, it's adorable), proto-music videos. She started appearing as a featured singer in films. Her star was on the rise and she soon became a star solo performer. She continued acting, but had limited options because she refused to do stereotypical roles. She finally landed a starring role in Bright Road in 1953, but it was the movie Carmen Jones that truly cemented her as a star and sex symbol. Not to sound cheesy, but she literally sizzles on screen. You can't help but understand how poor Harry Belafonte gets caught in her trap, just look at her. This is the role that got her that Oscar nom. She didn't win cause I mean #OscarsSoWhite, but she was a sensation and continued starring in films, despite troubles in her life (including a shitty director bf who fucked with her career and a traumatizing pregnancy/delivery). Outside of her filmwork, she was also an activist, fighting against racism. She left behind an amazing legacy, and continues to inspire many actresses to this day (including also very hot first (and only) black woman to win best actress, Halle Berry).

This is round 4 of the tournament. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. Please reblog with further support of your beloved hot sexy vintage woman.

[additional propaganda submitted under the cut.]

Ava Gardner:

Ava Gardner is one of my favorite actresses of all time. Although a lot of her roles in movies are about her being beautiful and nothing else, there are some films where her acting truly shines.

Gifset: https://www.tumblr.com/pelopides/721438308726603776/ava-gardner-as-pandora-reynolds-pandora-and-the

Gifset 2: https://www.tumblr.com/portraitoflestatonfire/731899355804598272/if-the-loustat-reunion-doesnt-look-like-this-then

HER FACE. LOOK AT IT. Also was a life long supporter of civil rights and a member of the NAACP, had lots of fun love affairs with other stars, bullfighters, married several times but was also happy in between to just have lovers and was unapologetically herself.

I literally gasp every time I see her.

Between 1942 and 1964, Ava Gardner was credited in no less 50 films, and is still considered by some to be the most beautiful actresses that ever graced the silver screen. Despite life-long insecurities regarding her talent as an actress, she weathered public scandal, industry hostility, and outright condemnation by the Catholic Church with fearless grace. She would later in life talk candidly about the reality and pain of living through two (studio approved!!) abortions during her short marriage to Frank Sinatra, and while the two of them could not make their relationship work, they remained in each other’s lives for nearly 30 years. She would forever describe herself as a small-town girl who just got lucky, but always felt like a beautiful outsider.

Really genuinely one of the most beautiful human beings I have ever seen. An autodidact. Had amazing chemistry with Gregory Peck to the point where I do think about watching On The Beach again sometimes because they're so good together even though that movie did destroy me. Was a great femme fatale in many movies.

Dorothy Dandridge propaganda:

Beautiful actress and hand-working and talented singer, she's especially notable for the number of firsts she accomplished such as the first African-American woman to receive a nomination for the Academy Award for Best Actress and the first African-American woman to appear on the cover of Life magazine.

Dorothy Dandridge was a classic Hollywood triple threat, singing, dancing, and acting with the best of them. She was the first African American nominated for an academy award for Best Actress for her role in Carmen Jones and she was just jaw-droppingly beautiful.

this og of black film needs no introduction (star on the hollywood walk of fame anyone?), voice of an angel, heavenly features, just an overall stunning lady :)

Look at her!!! She is so unbelievably charismatic in Carmen, it’s insane. Her chemistry with Harry Belafonte is off the charts, and every time she puts another outdoor [sic] on it’s like ‘oh god this is a whole new level of stunning’ 🥵. She was so so talented, when she’s on screen I genuinely dare you to tear your eyes away from her. Deserves to be known so much better but due to Hollywood racism and a tough personal life she didn’t make it as big as she should have done. She’s incredible.

First Black actress to be nominated for the Oscar for Best Actress! Was the first choice for the role of Cleopatra that went to Elizabeth Taylor (we were ROBBED).

[hard--headed--woman]

Sooo you're used to it by now, here's my 4th special pride post, and today we're going to talk about

Marguerite Radclyffe-Hall !

Marguerite was born in 1880 and died in 1943. She was a British poet and writer, author of "The Well of Loneliness", a revolutionary and very important novel in lesbian literature. She never tried to hide her homosexuality.

Neglected by her parents as a child, she studied at King's College London, then in Germany. She reached adulthood without a vocation, and spent a big part of her twenties in a series of relationships with women who later left her to marry.

In 1907, at the spa town of Bad Homburg in Germany, Marguerite met Mabel Batten, a lieder singer nicknamed Ladye, and the two fell in love. Batten was 51 at the time, with a husband, grown-up daughter and grandchildren. Hall was 27.

The two move in together when Mabel's husband dies. At the time, Marguerite was known for her "masculine" appearance and constant wearing of "masculine" clothes; Mabel Batten nicknamed her "John", a nickname she kept all her life.

In 1915, Radclyffe-Hall fell in love with Una Troubridge, a cousin of Mabel's whom she had known for 10 years. Battel died the following year, and in 1917, the two women moved in together. The two lived together until Hall's death, despite Hall's many affairs (that Troubridge painfully tolerated).

She has written eight novels and several poems.

Her first novel, "The Unit lamp", (1924) tells the story of a young girl who dreams of moving into a London apartment with her friend Elizabeth (a so-called "Boston marriage") and studying to become a doctor, but feels trapped by her emotionally-dependent, manipulative mother.

The novel's length and complexity made it difficult to sell, so Marguerite chose a lighter theme for her next novel, a social comedy : "The Forge". The book was quite successful this time.

Her next two novels were a great success, especially "Adam's Breed" (1926), which won the Prix Femina and the James Tait Black Award, something that had only been achieved once before.

But her best-known novel is "The Well of Loneliness". Published in 1928, it tells the story of a butch lesbian, from her childhood in England to her stay in Paris, where she becomes a famous writer. The novel was the subject of an obscenity trial in the UK (despite not being sexually explicit), resulting in the destruction of all copies. The USA authorized its publication after a long, long legal battle. Considered a classic, an extremely important work of lesbian literature, "The Well of Loneliness" was 7th on Publishing Triangle's 1999 list of the best gay novels.

In 1930, Hall won the gold medal of the Eichelbergher Humane Award. She was a member of the PEN club, the Council of the Society for Psychical and a member of the Zoological Society of London.

She died of colon cancer in 1943, aged 63. Her impact on literature, and lesbian literature in particular, remains significant to this day.

You can find the list of her novels (and more details about her life) here !

And some of her poems here :

Hope you enjoyed, and see you tomorrow for the 5th post!

[brf-rumortrackinganon]

Why do people still use Hilary Mantel’s words against Kate? Hilary Mantel defended her words saying she was taken out of context:

https://www.bbc.com/news/entertainment-arts-21710158.amp

"My lecture and the subsequent essay was actually supportive of the Royal Family and when I used those words about the Duchess of Cambridge, I was describing the perception of her which has been set up in the tabloid press.

"My speech ended with a plea to the press and to the media in general. I said 'back off and don't be brutes; don't do to this young woman what you did to Diana'.

"My whole theme was the way we maltreat royal persons, making them one superhuman, and yet less than human."

Mantel, whose latest novels are set in the royal court in Tudor times, said she believed she had been "set up" as a hate figure.

"I don't believe for one moment that there was any lack of clarity, after all, I have been practising my trade for a number of years now," she said.

"It was a matter of taking the words completely out of context - twisting the context - and setting me up as a hate figure.

"I have absolutely no regrets. What I said was crystal clear."

Mantel, who won the Costa Book of the Year Award for Bring Up The Bodies. added: "I do think that the Duchess of Cambridge is an intelligent young woman who, if she cares to read my essay, will see that I meant nothing but good to her."

I actually haven’t read the full essay because I can’t find it, so to those who have read the full essay, what was the context of what Hilary Mantel said?

The full essay is hard to find because it wasn’t actually a published essay, not at first. It was a lecture she gave, later recorded and published, called Royal Bodies, about media’s treatment of women. It’s an oral history of how famous royal women - Kate, Diana, Marie Antoinette, and Anne Boleyn - were portrayed and used by the media.

Mantel may have meant well and to be supportive, but it came off condescending and uppity. For example:

“Antoinette as a royal consort was a gliding, smiling disaster, much like Diana in another time and another country. But Kate Middleton, as she was, appeared to have been designed by a committee and built by craftsmen, with a perfect plastic smile and the spindles of her limbs hand-turned and gloss-varnished.”

“Presumably Kate was designed to breed in some manners. She looks like a nicely brought up young lady, with ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ part of her vocabulary. But in her first official portrait by Paul Emsley, unveiled in January, her eyes are dead and she wears the strained smile of a woman who really wants to tell the painter to bugger off.”

“She appears precision-made, machine-made, so different from Diana whose human awkwardness and emotional incontinence showed in her every gesture. Diana was capable of transforming herself from galumphing schoolgirl to ice queen, from wraith to Amazon. Kate seems capable of going from perfect bride to perfect mother, with no messy deviation.”

And the issue that many of us have with this lecture is that Mantel could have made her points without having to use Kate’s beauty, character, and mannerisms. Because if her theme was about the way the public and the media mistreat the royals - young royal women especially - and she was pleading for people and press not to do that, then why choose to focus on the women themselves? Focus on the media’s behavior instead; since you’re calling out the media, call out the frigging media. Leave the women and their bodies out of it.

She did to Kate in this speech exactly what she’s lecturing the public and the media not to do to Kate: turned her into a thing for which to criticize instead of leaving her to be her own person.

And Mantel can’t see that. She thinks she was taken out of context - and to a certain extent, yes, I agree she was - but when you spend several paragraphs drawing an image of a committee grooming Kate into a Royal Woman 2.0 after the Diana Experiment failed…did we really take you out of context or did you not make your point and now you’re uncomfortable that people are calling you out for the same misogyny you tried to shame the media for?

I mean, someone who justifies these comments by saying she’s a published author so she knows what she’s doing sounds a little like someone who’s very uncomfortable with the mirror that critics are forcing her to look into. Because again, if your whole argument is to take the media to task for how they portray a royal woman, which informs the public’s perception of her, then don’t use the woman to make your point.

Anyway. Here’s the full lecture. You can decide for yourself how badly Mantel was taken out of context or if the criticism is justified.

[lukolabrainrot]

What do you think is the story with JD?

It looks like he is Ns bf, but that does not make sense on so many levels.

To say he is there to distract from something else going on e.g. a relationship of LN does not make an awful lot of sense either. Honestly, apart from the fandom nobody would care, especially not in the industry, whether they are together or not. And she could have just gone to NY alone of L and here were not ready to be out yet.

What are your thoughts on JDs role in this saga?

Ok here is where I am at with everything after the last week and a half...

First let me lay out what we got from L/N last week:

L/N obviously agreed to the post with L at her place as she's getting ready with a ring on his ring finger (they are both smart and know the fandom, they knew we would notice). People can argue all they want about those hands... I've stared at L's hands a LOT this year! Those are L's hands in the pic with N getting ready. Period.

N now has her claddagh on the left hand, which signifies marriage or engagement if worn in the traditional manner (which N appears to do with this claddagh). It's not on the ring finger, but has moved to the left hand, which is significant.

There was a video circulating early last week that included a small clip of a voice of a man that MAYYY have been L in the audience while N was presenting at the Glamour Awards.

L shared the October 3rd Polin meme with Xx (indicating he's a lot more online than we think and knows what we are talking about)

Less than 24 hrs later we get the Brb story at the Heathrow Airport with the two sets of carry-on luggage and two cups. L DOES NOT POST STUFF LIKE THIS LATELY. It was a TOTAL change in behavior.

L/N 100% coordinated those travel posts to indicate they're going to NY together on a "vacation" around her award and the BRB was a tease about SOMETHING and it appears to be related to him and N based on the coordinated posts.

Now here are my next points:

L/N have given us a lot of crumbs before, but last week was VERY obvious and intentional... so it made significant implications that something was planned on the NY trip, and we all had expectations that we would see L with N.

But THEN... all we have seen is N with JD (who tbf we've seen her with at various points throughout the summer).

N was BIG MAD about the hand holding video coming out and had her team ON IT with scrubbing and untagging the video.

Douglas is the only other person other than N who has said anything criticizing the fan for sharing the video.

So I will say this...

I'm VERY confused about how JD plays into this story... I don't actually think they are dating because of everything else that has signaled L/N are currently together (ESPECIALLY the rings and the very obvious clues last week). However, the hand holding video is not exactly a great look (and N and her team are normally soooo good at avoiding this stuff). It seems like a rookie mistake from N and her team, which just seems odd to me 🤔

I'm not sure why L/N implied they took this NY trip together (which I think they did and I feel very confident that L is somewhere in NY with N) if L/N WEREN'T planning to be seen together on the trip. The trip might not be done yet, so maybe they have something planned AFTER the Time event, but it's just weird to me 🤔 I have some theories on what might be going on BTS with L/N that might be complicating the situation, but I am going to hold on to those rn. But even with my theories, it doesn't make any sense to me why they don't just go public atp, especially since they have been teasing about it, PARTICULARLY last week 🤔

Lastly, I'm soooooo tired of the teasing! AND it's time for L to BRB now. Come on back Lukey...

So there you go. I don't have ANY idea what their plan was with the coordinated travel stories. I also have NO idea what role JD plays in all this... I don't think they're dating though. And I hope L follows up on his BRB story ASAP, and it's 100% obvious he's with N... we shall see... it's all very confusing tbh 🤷‍♀️

[notafunkiller]

sweet nothing

Summary: Bucky and you attend an awards show, but an interviewer makes sure to ruin your night before it even starts. The loss of your project makes you have a breakdown when you get home, and Bucky does his best to comfort you.

Pairing: director!Bucky Barnes x actress!reader

Warnings: 18+, age gap (r is 24, Bucky is 36), teasing, dirty talk, language, pet names, fingering, oral sex (the reader receiving), clit play, come eating, a little metal arm kink, daddy kink, no condom (but they are both clean and the reader is on birth control), no mention of y/n

Word Count: 4.2K

story masterlist

Bucky Barnes masterlist

A/N: Bucky’s look is obviously inspired by Sebastian’s appearance at D23 Expo in 2022. Also, this happens a few months after the second part, in October.

An extra thank you to @marvelouslizzie and @lavenderhaze967​ for being my beta readers and for the endless support.

Please, do not repost or translate without my permission!

You really can’t decide what to say. The remark came so unexpectedly, you were taken aback.

You don’t know how they knew about your vacation. The photos and some false info were spread all over the internet, and you found out only after you came back home.

You expected things to calm down from July until now, though, but they didn’t. They actually became worse and worse. But despite that, you didn’t even think you were going to get this type of comment tonight, especially since you announced you refuse to talk about your personal life. You should have known better… Bucky was right, you can never trust the press and you should never have expectations.

“Even though this has nothing to do with tonight and I said I won’t talk about anything related to my personal life multiple times...”

“I wasn’t-” The interviewer tries to interrupt you, surprised by your cold tone, but you don’t let her. If they want to speculate, then at least you can let it out now. They can do whatever they want after.

“To make things clear, Mr. Barnes is actually one of the most professional people I’ve ever worked with… one of the best: kind and supportive, and he always gives the best feedback.”

“Miss-”

You ignore her once again, raising your hand to stop her. “He is blunt, honest, and hasn’t been anything but professional the whole time. He made a massive contribution to the film industry and he’s been in the public eye for so long...  If you had done your research, you’d have known how everyone, especially the women he worked with, talked and talk about him.” You take a deep breath, trying to keep your composure before you look straight at the camera. “Also, no, I did not sleep with him or anyone else to get any kind of role. Thank you!”

You don’t realize how much you’re shaking or how many tears you were holding back until you reach the bathroom. You’re thankful Bucky is inside already. He doesn’t deserve this shitty attitude, and you know he would have made a scene and stopped this on the spot if he’d witnessed it.

*

So you don’t tell Bucky about it, not wanting to give him bad vibes, especially since you know how he already feels about going to events in general. Your table is full when you get there: a part of the cast and the crew along with Bucky’s manager. Natasha couldn’t come this time, but you know everyone, so it’s better than you expected.

“Wine?” Bucky asks you softly, leaning in so only you can hear him.

“Later, please. I have a small headache.”

“Oh, no, baby.” He kisses your forehead as soon as you finish talking. “Do you need a pill?”

You love how he never hides or tries to keep his distance when you go out together. Maybe it’s nothing much after all, but you know how discreet he is, how much he values privacy, and it makes you truly feel a part of his life.

“Don’t worry, it will go away.”

“You’re sure?”

“Yes, yes.” You brush it off with a smile, and he nods, unsure, getting back in his chair properly.

You can’t let your emotions eat you alive, anger or nervousness... you just can’t. But it’s easier said than done because time passes so slowly until your categories are announced. Not even joking around with Bucky’s manager helps. She has such amazing vibes usually, but you are too deep in your thoughts to fully embrace them.

By the time the nominees in your category are announced, Bucky gets you all ice cream, making sure they put two spoons for you: one with chocolate and another with biscuits. It’s so delicious, but you instantly stop eating when the small video with a few of your scenes is projected. People around you clap loudly, but you can’t look around much, your cheeks so flushed when the camera stops on you again. Bucky even whistles using the index and middle fingers of his flash hand, which makes you giggle. He’s so cute!

“And the winner for Best Actress in a Drama is...”

It’s like the world stops for a second: the tension, the lack of air, the ringing in your ear... you can’t hear anything. But you can read body language and see everyone’s shoulders falling. You don’t dare to look at Bucky, only smiling in joy for whoever won and trying to hold back tears. Every woman on that list deserves it. They are all fantastic. You aren’t upset because someone else won. You just feel like a failure because you lost. It’s like you disappointed the people who care about you, who took a shot with you. Bucky... who saw something in you and risked it. You know how silly it is because he isn’t the type of person who would even think that, but you can’t just control the train of thoughts that keeps overwhelming you.

“I’m so sorry, baby.”

You still can’t look at your sweet, comforting Bucky. Fuck, such a crybaby... You just nod and take your spoon with your right hand so you can have more ice cream.

He better wins!

The movie loses shortly after you, and it’s your turn to comfort him. You don’t pay attention to the camera focusing on you or Lucas tapping on his arm in a consolation gesture when you turn your face toward him and kiss his cheek. “I’m sorry, bubba.”

He melts instantly under your touch. “Don’t be.”

But how can you not be? It makes your insides burn. This man you know so well professionally and personally deserves every fucking award this industry has. He is fantastic! The movie was fantastic, too.

The urge to cry takes over you the moment the winner of the best director category is announced, but it’s not Bucky. And you think he senses it because he squeezes your thigh gently to assure you. You…

You cannot believe this.

You have a bitter taste in your mouth for the rest of the night there, which is short since Bucky suggests leaving earlier. You hate awards ceremonies officially, too.

The car ride is no better. You find it harder and harder to hold back your tears, and the last thing you want is Bucky to see. He asked you if you were hungry, and asked you to stay over at his place. How could you say no? No, Bucky, I want to go home and cry angry and disappointed. You spend most of your nights at his house anyway, so it would make him worry. Especially since the distance to your apartment is longer.

You let a deep breath out when he closes the door, turning on the lights as you start to take off your shoes.

“Home sweet home.” He gives you a tired smile.

“Ihm. Finally.” You don’t trust your voice to say more than that and you let your bag and phone on the small table before going straight to the kitchen.

“Next time we’re invited, we ditch to watch a movie or something and make love.”

His words are enough to send you over the edge somehow. When you hear his footsteps closer, you instantly turn around to face the sink, grabbing the kitchen counter in an attempt to hold back the tears. But it’s so hard…

“Baby?”

Fuck, he’s so close.

“Bubba?”

And that’s all you need to burst into tears. But you’re not just crying, you are fully sobbing when you feel his arms wrapping around you.

“Bubba, breathe, please.” He rests his head on your shoulder, and you feel so naked, so bare in a way... Something you feared for so long. You are vulnerable in a way you only let your family see you, not even them maybe. It’s like you’re giving him access to your inner child. And it’s terrifying.

“I-I’m ss-sorry.” You are gasping for air between words, and this makes you feel even worse. You sound so pathetic.

“What are you sorry for, bubba? Focus on breathing, please.” Bucky’s voice is so calm and soothing, you almost let yourself fall into his arms. You can’t believe this safe sensation you feel. It’s shocking to you. You trust him to hold you and comfort you even when you look this deplorable.

“In and out.” You breathe in and out every time he says the words and it slowly becomes easier; the air doesn’t feel like it burns your lungs anymore.

You feel his kisses on the back of your head. “Good girl, perfect. Just like that.”

You open your eyes as soon as your body stops trembling and turn to him instantly. You probably look like a wet raccoon, but you don’t care. You hug him so tight you wonder if he can even breathe. But you can’t let go.

Bucky’s glad he took off his jacket since the zipper would have hurt your face.

“I’m right here, not going anywhere.”

“I’m ss-sorry,” you say weakly, taking a step back. “It’s just so unfair!”

His whole face softens even more. He understands... your first nominee and your first loss. This is never easy, especially for someone ambitious and talented.

“I know it hurts, but I promise you more will come, and they will finally give you the awards you deserve. You were amazing.” He takes your hands into his and brings them to his mouth.

“It’s not about me!”

“What?”

“You deserved to win!” You can’t control the anger in your voice. “This movie, the whole concept, the team... Maybe it’s because of the way I-”

“Stop right there! You have nothing to blame yourself for. And you don’t have to feel bad for me, okay, bubba?” His mouth finds your forehead. “Of course, it bothers me a little, but these awards come and go. Sure, some bring more opportunities, but I don’t give a fuck about it. You were a fantastic lead. You are fantastic! But I promise you, you will get more awards because you deserve them. I was mad for you. Don’t worry about me, alright?”

“But you deserve it!”

“It’s just an award, baby. I am proud of this project and of everyone who was a part of it, especially you. It wasn’t easy and it was emotionally draining.”

He wipes your face, and you curse. You should have worn waterproof mascara.

“I just don’t...”

“Don’t ever blame yourself again.” He pauses. “Actually, you will because you can’t control that, it’s not a switch. What I mean is don’t try to hide from me, don’t let the thoughts overwhelm you before talking to me. Or someone... anyone: your sister, your mom, Natasha. I just want you to know I am here for you.” He kisses your lips shortly. “I got you, and you got me.”

He barely has time to finish his sentence before you grab his face and kiss him, your tongue immediately licking his bottom lip. It’s something about the way he reacted, about his permanent attitude and the way he looks that makes you dizzy. So dizzy that you easily switch from feeling anger and fear to sexual desire.

You keep kissing him until you two can’t breathe anymore. He’s so sweet, so good. You can’t help it...

“I want to suck your cock.”

He opens his eyes instantly.

“What?”

“Want to take you inside my mouth. Now.” You repeat with such urgency that his shock is increasing.

“Wait, you don’t have to-”

But his words die as your hands are already on his belt, taking it off in seconds. When it loudly hits the floor, you unzip the pants, dragging them down along with his boxers with force. So much force he gasps.

“Please, daddy.”

You drop to your knees in seconds, making sure to properly grab the base before leaning in to kiss his wet head.

“Jesus!”

He has to grab the kitchen counter behind you to stand still.

“Just me.” You smirk a little and take more of his cock inside your mouth. He’s getting harder little by little. When you start to move your hand , though? He finally gets in his usual horny mood, understanding you really want this.

“Fuck, look at you! On your knees just for me. So needy!”

You moan, bringing your left hand to his balls as you start to bob your head. You just want him to come.

“Baby, please. Fuck me!” He groans, and you suddenly feel your hair getting pulled hard as if he’s trying to get you away from his cock. You stop sucking just to snap:

“Why are you taking my cock from me?”

“Because it wants to be inside my pussy.”

You snort.

He helps you stand up and kisses you without any worry. You moan when you feel his hands on your breasts, then to your sides, and before you can even say anything, you hear the sound of the material ripping.

“Hurry up!” You complain, waiting for him to finish undressing you as you keep kissing his neck.

Your bra and underwear are next and you can’t believe how free you feel.

“You are so fucking beautiful!”

“Need you, please...”

He nods, immediately lifting you in his arms, and you don’t stop kissing him until your back hits the bed.

“How do you want me?” You ask, and he frowns.

“What do you mean?”

“Position, Bucky.” You try to clean your face with the back of your hand as you wait for his answer.

“We can start like this.” He gets between your legs and lifts them on his shoulders. His hair is messy, all over his forehead, and you giggle, brushing it away from his eyes.

You’re so wet he gets inside you in one movement, and you both moan. The fullness is so good, you arch your back. Sex with Bucky will never get boring, you are sure of it. He’s a perfect combination between caring, desperate, and curious.

“Bucky!”

“Yes, bubba, I’m here.” He kisses you as he starts to thrust. “I’m right here.”

Your legs are wrapped around his ass, pushing him inside you harder every time he pulls almost completely out.

“God, I love your cock so much!”

“Just that?” He pouts, making you laugh. He’s a baby and a daddy at the same time.

“I love you, bubba, you know that.”

“And I” thrust “want” thrust “to hear” thrust “it again and again.”

“Fuck.” You close your eyes, turning your face to the side without realizing.

“Eyes on me, doll. Eyes on daddy.”

“It’s hard...” you cry out, even more turned on by him calling himself your daddy. It fits him so much!

“Fine.” He uses his metal arm to turn you around on your tummy.

“Bucky!” You scream because of the sudden movement and the empty feeling since he pulled out.

“Hands and knees since you don’t want to look at me.”

You shake your head, amused, but you get in the position, raising your ass as much as you can. You love when he fucks you like this. Everything feels deeper, and there’s no distance despite the fact you can’t properly see him or kiss him. “So dramatic of you.”

You flinch without realizing when you feel his palm connecting with your ass cheeks.

“Does it hurt?”

“No, no.” You quickly assure him, looking up when you hear his worried tone. He never spanks you too hard, and the amount of strength he uses makes you enjoy it. It always makes you wet. “Just didn’t expect it.”

“Good.” He kisses your forehead. “Ready?”

“Hurry!”

He quickly gets inside you as soon as you finish speaking, and you gasp. It takes your breath away, but you can’t help but wiggle your ass. His hands grab your hips and he finally starts to literally pound you just the way you both enjoy it. His cold metal fingers feel so good.

“B-Bucky!”

“Do you love it, baby?” You hear him, but you don’t understand how he expects you to answer. You can’t even breathe properly.

“Ihm.”

“Fuck, you’re so wet around me. I love you so much.”

You try to tell him you love him back, but the words are so distorted you give up.

You’re close already.

“Are you gonna come for me? Are you gonna be a good girl and let go? Make daddy prouder?”

And just like that, you come. You don’t hear anything anymore: you can’t distinguish the words, only his voice. You feel so good, so light, that you don’t realize the wave of tears that hits you.

Bucky smiles, knowing these are from so much pleasure, and doesn’t continue to thrust much until he comes inside you. You moan again, encouraging him to fill you. To give you as much come as he has.

“Yes, yes. Please, need your come.” And you know he loses his mind every time you do that. “Please, daddy.”

A few seconds later, you feel him move his hands.

“Fuck me, baby, this was incredible.”

You nod, trying to find your words again.

“Yes, it... it was.” He helps you turn around after he gets out of you and groans.

“You look so fucking good! Perfect to eat right now.”

He makes you laugh before you slowly kiss him, moaning when your tongues find each other. There is something unique about the way he uses that mouth.

“I mean it. Gonna eat you now, ok?”

It’s the only warning you get before your head drops to the bed again and his is between your legs. His shoulders are broad enough to keep your legs extra spread, and you try to keep your eyes open just to enjoy the sight.

But it’s hard. His tongue on your clit then at your entrance, licking and eating his own come combined with yours makes you so weak you have to grab his hair to have a focus point other than his mouth.

“Jamesss.”

Your hips move uncontrolled toward his mouth as soon as you feel him slowing down. He tries to keep your back on the bed by pushing your tummy down with his metal arm, but it’s impossible. The coldness on your skin makes you cry even more.

“Fuck, fuck, Bucky, please...”

You can’t believe how close you are again, but his tongue is always great. You don’t remember a single time he didn’t make you come like this.

You gasp when he moves his tongue up to your clit quickly, which you did not expect. Even though you should have... you should have expected him to bring two metal fingers to your mouth and command you to suck them, then to push them inside you at once as he sucks on your clit. And sucks. And sucks. And when he takes it between his teeth, grazing it just enough, you come.

You don’t even realize you are screaming, the pleasure so overwhelming you can’t think even for a second. And he doesn’t stop, he keeps using his tongue and fingers until you have to beg him to.

You’re trembling, absolutely consumed when he moves up to kiss you.

“Fuck, we taste so good, doll.”

You kiss him again, making sure to lick his lips before he opens his mouth. You taste amazing together, indeed.

“Yes.”

“Good. Are you feeling better now?”

“I can’t feel my body,” you say before laughing.

“Are you sore?”

You touch his face. “I feel well fucked, daddy, don’t worry.”

His face is priceless every time you call him that. It’s funny how a big man like him gets red so easily. You never get over this.

“You and that… name.”

You pinch his chin immediately, stroking his hair. “As if you don’t enjoy it.”

“I do. Look what you did to me!” He shakes his head in a disapproving way, and you feel happy. He makes everything lighter... easier for you. He learned when and how to push you, and it helps that you have a similar sense of humor.

“I’m better now, thank you. It’s just so unfair because you are a wonderful director.”

“Just director?”

You giggle, seeing his pouty mouth. “And writer.”

“And?”

“And?” You raise your eyebrow.

“What else?”

“I don’t-” You burst into laughter when you feel his hands tickling you. “Stop! Stop! F-fine! Best... best boyfriend.”

“What? Didn’t hear you.”

You roll your eyes. He’s so predictable sometimes.

“B-best boyfriend in the world. Now stop! You’re so unfair!”

“Alright.” He gives you a boyish grin, which makes him look so young. His smile never changed from what you saw. His childhood pictures, his college ones... he kept it and it makes him so adorable.

“I love you, old man.”

“Not this again.” He fake puffs before kissing you. “I love you, too.”

*

You wake up with a few notifications and a message from Bucky telling you he’s gone to do some grocery shopping. You were wondering why the house was silent. Even when he wakes up earlier than you and tries to be silent, there is a low sound from the TV or his music player.

What you don’t expect is to have thousands of DMS and following requests as soon as you open your Instagram.

You don’t understand at first, still sleepy and hungry, until you scroll through your feed and see Bucky’s post. You almost drop your phone.

There are two photos. The first is only with you, but you don’t remember when he took it. You’re not looking at the camera, staring at the sunset, so it’s clear he took it without you knowing. He’s had this for months... and he never showed it to you. God, you miss Italy!

When you swipe to the next pic, one with both of you as he’s biting your cheek, you laugh. You were being so silly that day. Your fourth date... He was ready to eat your whole face and he didn’t want to take no for an answer, so you started to bite and suck his chin in return. It was the first time you spent the night at his house. It feels like years ago...

Then your eyes finally drop to the description and you start crying a little.

I already won the best award that exists a few months ago❤️ Thank you for your support!

You notice he turned off the comments, but many common friends liked the post.

Fuck, that means you are officially together everywhere. Wow.

You can’t believe what you woke up to. You two never kept your relationship a secret, but you preferred being discreet. You are aware of how this looks from the outside, both of you do, but does it matter? At the end of the day, the people you care about know the truth, you work hard to get jobs, and that’s enough.

You immediately open your gallery and choose a couple of photos with you and him, then just with him: hugging, Bucky kissing your cheek, him making dance moves, his face up close... some random pics you love.

You choose to use only a red heart as your caption at first, but before you publish, you add a few words because it doesn’t feel enough and even tag him on your boobs.

What a view: @jbuckybarnes #photosdump

Happily, you let the comments on and look for a certain short video you absolutely adore from your vacation: he has his head on your lap, napping soundlessly while you run your hand through his hair. His face might not be visible, but it’s clear it’s him. His shoulders, his moles, and his hair...

You remember how he groaned and whined every time you stopped touching his curls, bringing your hand back to his head.

“Bubba, more...”

Smiling, you tag him in a small font, choosing a color to fit the yacht floor, and post it.

The next fifteen minutes you spend in the bathroom, taking a shower, doing your routine, and changing into some clothes you left here the last time.

“Baby?” You jump when you hear Bucky in the bedroom all of a sudden, but you don’t let the shock hold you back from jumping on him.

He catches you, thankfully, and holds you by the ass as you kiss him all over his face and neck before stopping on his lips. Your tongue finds his and you moan in his mouth shortly after, making him groan, too.

“Good morning!”

“I love you,” you whisper, resting your head on his chest.

“I love you, too. Didn’t want to leave before you woke up, but we needed breakfast.”

“Can’t believe you did that.”

“What?” He asks genuinely confused.

“You know what!” You say, words muffled by the material of his T-shirt. You are surprised how this small normal thing made you so happy you can burst.

“Ah.” He realizes, leaning in a bit to kiss your hair. “I should have done it ages ago.”

You really hate how he tends to take the full blame when it’s not the case. “We then... but now it’s the perfect timing.”

“Yes, the perfect timing.” He carries you around until you are both back in bed.

The breakfast can wait, so can you to see his reaction when he finds your posts.

[ghostlywhiskey]

as a former frat rat and ex-sorority girly, these are my thoughts if the core four were in a fraternity

price

president of the fraternity. when there are parties, he's primarily upstairs with his s/o with the door locked since he doesn't care much for them. they'll make an appearance sometimes and play a few games here and there. has an absolute charm with officers that the other guys do not have when parties get a visit from them due to noise complaints, etc. when the fraternity is called into conduct meetings for parties, price easily talks their way out of suspension with the director of greek and director of student conduct. when him and his s/o breakup, goes on how he's gonna try and be single for a bit, but ends up in another serious relationship a month later.

simon

definition of "who do you know here". before the new members are recruited, he's standing at the door managing control of how many people are inside the house and who is in the house. new members are easily scared of him from his size alone, and while he does come off less welcoming, when the new members are hungover or whatever it may be, he's the big brother figure there to help out and take care of them when needed. has no problem dragging people out of the parties as well if someone is making anyone uncomfortable. and when it comes to flirting with people at the parties or anywhere, he's quite bad at it. definitely shy on that front and a bit of a dork, but no one expects it.

soap

"new member educator" aka pledge master. understands there is a negative connotation associated with his position. so, when it comes to initiation tasks, tries to keep them more on the side of humorous instead of harmful. consists of partnering with sororities on campuses to help them with their big/little process - sending his new members to serenade the sororities new members in public. makes one member roll around a dinosaur backpack clearly meant for a child. during the times he's free and on campus, you'll find him at the frats designated table in the student center/cafeteria talking and laughing with other members. definitely gets 'class clown' awards year after year at the fraternity formal.

gaz

vice president of the fraternity. shares the same charm as price when it comes to handling campus authority and as well as their consultants for the fraternity. but unlike price, he's single and his charm extends towards everyone since he isn't tied down. the hat comes in handy sometimes when he wears it because girls love pulling it off his head as tactic to try and talk to him, which he caves into because it's why he'll wear it in the first place. sociable and gets along with everyone on campus - out of all of them he's the one that is least intimidating to have a class with. he'll sit next to you and joke around if the teacher is a pain, and even if they aren't, no one expects the frat boy to be a smarty pants - he's your go-to study partner after you build a friendship.

[beardedmrbean]

Few in the media seemed eager to attend a ceremony last week in Washington, D.C., where the prestigious American Academy of Sciences and Letters was awarding its top intellectual freedom award.

The problem may have been the recipient: Stanford Professor Dr. Jay Bhattacharya.

Bhattacharya has spent years being vilified by the media over his dissenting views on the pandemic. As one of the signatories of the 2020 Great Barrington Declaration, he was canceled, censored, and even received death threats.

That open letter called on government officials and public health authorities to rethink the mandatory lockdowns and other extreme measures in light of past pandemics.

All the signatories became targets of an orthodoxy enforced by an alliance of political, corporate, media, and academic groups. Most were blocked on social media despite being accomplished scientists with expertise in this area.

It did not matter that positions once denounced as “conspiracy theories” have been recognized or embraced by many.

Some argued that there was no need to shut down schools, which has led to a crisis in mental illness among the young and the loss of critical years of education. Other nations heeded such advice with more limited shutdowns (including keeping schools open) and did not experience our losses.

Others argued that the virus’s origin was likely the Chinese research lab in Wuhan. That position was denounced by the Washington Post as a “debunked” coronavirus “conspiracy theory.” The New York Times Science and Health reporter Apoorva Mandavilli called any mention of the lab theory “racist.”

Federal agencies now support the lab theory as the most likely based on the scientific evidence.

The Biden administration tried to censor this Stanford doctor, but he won in court

Likewise, many questioned the efficacy of those blue surgical masks and supported natural immunity to the virus — both positions were later recognized by the government.

Others questioned the six-foot rule used to shut down many businesses as unsupported by science. In congressional testimony, Dr. Anthony Fauci recently admitted that the 6-foot rule “sort of just appeared” and “wasn’t based on data.” Yet not only did the rule result in heavily enforced rules (and meltdowns) in public areas, the media further ostracized dissenting critics.

Again, Fauci and other scientists did little to stand up for these scientists or call for free speech to be protected. As I discuss in my new book, “The Indispensable Right,” the result is that we never really had a national debate on many of these issues and the result of massive social and economic costs.

I spoke at the University of Chicago with Bhattacharya and other dissenting scientists in the front row a couple of years ago. After the event, I asked them how many had been welcomed back to their faculties or associations since the recognition of some of their positions.

They all said that they were still treated as pariahs for challenging the groupthink culture.

Now the scientific community is recognizing the courage shown by Bhattacharya and others with its annual Robert J. Zimmer Medal for Intellectual Freedom.

So what about all of those in government, academia, and the media who spent years hounding these scientists?

Universities shred their ethics to aid Biden’s social-media censorship

Biden Administration officials and Democratic members targeted Bhattacharya and demanded his censorship. For example, Rep. Raja Krishnamoorthi (D-Ill.) attacked  Bhattacharya and others who challenged the official narrative during the pandemic. Krishnamoorthi expressed outrage that the scientists were even allowed to testify as “a purveyor of COVID-19 misinformation.”

Journalists and columnists also supported the censorship and blacklisting of these scientists. In the Los Angeles Times, columnist Michael Hiltzik decried how “we’re living in an upside-down world” because Stanford allowed these scientists to speak at a scientific forum. He was outraged that, while “Bhattacharya’s name doesn’t appear in the event announcement,” he was an event organizer. Hiltzik also wrote a column titled “The COVID lab leak claim isn’t just an attack on science, but a threat to public health.” 

Then there are those lionized censors at Twitter who shadow-banned Bhattacharya. As former CEO Parag Agrawal generally explained, the “focus [was] less on thinking about free speech … [but[ who can be heard.”

None of this means that Bhattacharya or others were right in all of their views. Instead, many of the most influential voices in the media, government, and academia worked to prevent this discussion from occurring when it was most needed.

There is still a debate over Bhattacharya’s “herd immunity” theories, but there is little debate over the herd mentality used to cancel him.

The Academy was right to honor Bhattacharya. It is equally right to condemn all those who sought to silence a scientist who is now being praised for resisting their campaign to silence him and others.

[petervintonjr]

"As black America approaches the 21st century, our capacity or our failure to build a solid bridge . . . of works will determine whether millions of young blacks already with us or yet unborn will cross over into the new century, or fall into the abyss."

Another name you almost certainly didn't know: M. (Moses) Carl Holman, civil rights activist, writer, and poet. Born in 1919 St. Louis, Holman showed an early gift for writing, and at the age of 19 won a scriptwriting award from a popular syndicated radio program. He graduated magna cum laude from Lincoln University and went on to acquire Master's degrees from the University of Chicago and from Yale. While at Yale he published his first collection of poems, and began regularly writing articles for various newspapers and magazines on income inequity, urban poverty, literacy, and other issues important to Black Americans. In 1962 he taught English at Clark College in Atlanta, giving him a front-row seat to key events in the earliest days of the civil rights movement. As some of his students participated in sit-ins and the Freedom Rides, he found himself appointed to the U.S. Commission on Civil Rights, of which he eventually became deputy director in 1966.

In 1968 Ebony magazine named Holman as one of the 100 Most Influential Black Americans. That same year Holman published what is probably his best-known work: The Baptizin', a play which won first prize in the National Community Theater Festival. In addition to multiple collections of poems, Holman also published a definitive overview of the civil rights movement in the U.S., from 1965 to 1975.

Perhaps most significantly, in 1971 Holman was named Vice President of the National Urban Coalition. This organization had re-formed in 1967 in the wake of the so-called "long, hot summer" of racial strife and injustices. During this time Holman's singular talent for delivering quiet and polite, but still powerful, speeches came to the fore and he jumpstarted a great many local housing, education, job training, and economic development programs aimed at disadvantaged Black and Hispanic communities.

In his later years Holman forcefully addressed the issue of "dual literacy" for Black children --emphasizing that such students not only needed to be well-versed not only in the fundamentals such as reading, writing, and public speaking; but also in math, science, and technology. His 1988 obituary notes that Holman "had an uncanny ability to form a coalition out of the most diverse elements, and it was often said that the key to his ability to do this was the fact that he never appeared to have an agenda for himself."

(Teachers: Need some resources to engage your students this Black History Month? I'll send you a pile of these trading cards, no cost, no obligation. Just give me a mailing address and let me know how many students in your class. No strings attached, no censorship, no secret-relaying-of-names to Abbott or DeSantis or HuckaSanders.)

[covid-safer-hotties]

How covid conspiracy theories led to an alarming resurgence in AIDS denialism - Published Aug 7, 2024

Widespread distrust of our public health system is reviving long-debunked ideas on HIV and AIDS—and energizing a broad movement that questions the foundations of disease prevention.

Several million people were listening in February when Joe Rogan falsely declared that “party drugs” were an “important factor in AIDS.” His guest on The Joe Rogan Experience, the former evolutionary biology professor turned contrarian podcaster Bret Weinstein, agreed with him: The “evidence” that AIDS is not caused by HIV is, he said, “surprisingly compelling.”

During the show, Rogan also asserted that AZT, the earliest drug used in the treatment of AIDS, killed people “quicker” than the disease itself—another claim that’s been widely repeated even though it is just as untrue.

Speaking to the biggest podcast audience in the world, the two men were promoting dangerous and false ideas—ideas that were in fact debunked and thoroughly disproved decades ago.

But it wasn’t just them. A few months later, the New York Jets quarterback Aaron Rodgers, four-time winner of the NFL’s MVP award, alleged that Anthony Fauci, who led the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases for 38 years, had orchestrated the government's response to the AIDS crisis for personal gain and to promote AZT, which Rodgers also depicted as “killing people.” Though he was speaking to a much smaller audience, on a podcast hosted by a jujitsu fighter turned conspiracy theorist, a clip of the interview was re-shared on X, where it’s been viewed more than 13 million times.

Rodgers was repeating claims that appear in The Real Anthony Fauci, a 2021 book by Robert F. Kennedy Jr.—a work that has renewed relevance as the anti-vaccine activist makes a long-shot but far-from-inconsequential run for the White House. The book, which depicts the elderly immunologist as a Machiavellian figure who used both the AIDS and covid pandemics for his own ends, has reportedly sold 1.3 million copies across all formats.

“When I hear [misinformation] like that, I just hope it doesn’t get traction,” says Seth Kalichman, a professor of psychology at the University of Connecticut and the author of Denying AIDS: Conspiracy Theories, Pseudoscience, and Human Tragedy.

But it already has. These comments and others like them add up to a small but unmistakable resurgence in AIDS denialism—a false collection of theories arguing either that HIV doesn’t cause AIDS or that there’s no such thing as HIV at all.

The ideas here were initially promoted by a cadre of scientists from unrelated fields, as well as many science-adjacent figures and self-proclaimed investigative journalists, back in the 1980s and ’90s. But as more and more evidence stacked up against them, and as more people with HIV and AIDS started living longer lives thanks to effective new treatments, their claims largely fell out of favor.

At least until the coronavirus arrived.

Read the full article at either link! (the covidsafehotties archive is always free of annoying in-line ads, jsky!)

[freesia-writes]

First time making a request, I'm nervous lol

I would love something kinda awkward but sweet with my main Man Howzer.

Either the "being too awkward to know what to do with the hands" and/ or the panic while figuring out if they are actually leaning in for a kiss

The awkward one being reader, GN as well if possible 🫶🏼

Feel free to ignore if the request post was old and my ask is out of place 😱

Have a great rest of the weekend 🫶🏼

Helloooooo my friend! What a joy and honor to be your first request. Thank you SO MUCH for your patience. Writing has been so hard for me lately; trying to have a steady stream of thought feels like wading through mud. But I've missed it and have felt more inspired to give it a try, so I hope my clunky effort is somewhat heartwarming and enjoyable! :)

Howzer x GN!Reader Word Count: 1.8k

You’d rolled your eyes when your Galactic Political Science class had assigned you to an externship on the planet Ryloth, having only heard of its dusty plains and occasionally volatile population. But now, eight months later, you wouldn’t have it any other way. Your job shadows of various political aides and diplomatic entourages had led you right into the vicinity of the man of your dreams. He was a clone, which some of your Coruscant classmates teased you about, but you couldn’t care less what they thought, uppity and narrow-minded as they were. 

Captain Howzer had caught your eye in one of the first meetings held on the planet, and your jaw had nearly dropped open at the sight of him. Immediately overthinking it, you wondered if you were so shallow that something so simple as a haircut could really make that much of a difference. But in hindsight, you were convinced that you were instead just an excellent judge of character, as your time working in close proximity to him had revealed a depth and integrity that left you in awe. He was level-headed and clever, and often came up with solutions to issues or conflicts that were impressively insightful. 

He was also kind of a dork. 

You’d never have believed it, but the more time you spent together, the more you caught the cheesy little jokes he’d make or the awkward comments that would slip by. As if he couldn’t be any cuter, his self-effacing humor and easygoing approach to life were just cherries on top.

So when it came time for your externship to come to an end, you were not in any hurry to leave. You’d enjoyed a number of mildly flirtatious moments with Howzer amid a great many conversations and encounters within your line of work, and yet you still felt as though he had enough depth to keep you pursuing him for decades. But you didn’t have many options: your program needed to be finished and it required your presence on Coruscant. To drop out now would be to lose everything you’d worked toward… not to mention your parents would never forgive you. 

You weren’t sure what to do, but you knew you had to do something. 

Your chance came not too long after, as the Ryloth session came to a close with a “Review Ceremony”, complete with awards and rife with lessons on political butt-kissing and how to appear in public to best sway opinion in your direction. You couldn’t have felt more uncomfortable if you tried. It was a black tie event, with all of the leaders in the sector attending, as well as aides, classmates, and local law enforcement. You chafed in your outfit, trying to walk as smoothly as possible through the doors, which opened into a massive chamber so tall you couldn’t see where it ended. 

Graceful vines and floating luminaries wove an intricate pattern above the guests, casting a warm glow across the proceedings. The hubbub of conversation was punctuated by the tinkling of expensive crystal and effervescent laughter as the influencers of the sector rubbed elbows and congratulated each other on everything and nothing. You were at the edge of a group of some of your peers, nodding and smiling at what you hoped were the appropriate places, but you weren’t really paying attention. 

If this externship had taught you anything, it was that you didn’t really have any interest whatsoever in this side of politics, and you were instead trying to look around the cavernous room for any sight of Howzer. You were scheduled to leave in the morning and still hadn’t found a time or way to confess any feelings. Even if you had found the right moment, you were still going back and forth endlessly about doing it at all. You were leaving, so what was the point? It’s not like he could leave his post and come with you…

“Excuse me,” a voice broke through your reverie, a voice you’d recognize anywhere… You turned far too quickly to “keep your cool”, heart skipping a beat when you saw Howzer in his standard armor. He tilted his head and you could almost see his expression through his helmet as he continued, “There seems to be an issue with your luggage. Would you please follow me?” 

You’d packed all your things that day, scheduled to ship out bright and early with the first transport. At first, you frowned, feeling that familiar anxiety in the pit of your stomach as you considered any and every possibility of what could have gone wrong. But when you noticed his broad shoulders ahead of you headed out onto the balcony, you were thoroughly confused. 

“Howzer, where’s–” you began, but he turned around so quickly you almost ran into him, hands a hair’s length away from his chest plate. 

“Sorry,” he answered, a crooked grin on his beautiful face as he pulled off his helmet. “You looked as miserable as I felt in there, so I thought we could get some air. Plus, there’s something kinda neat out here tonight…” He looked almost sheepish, sending a thrill from your head to your toes. You opened your mouth to ask about it but couldn’t get a word out when he suddenly took your hand in his. You could barely feel the warmth through his glove, but the thrill it sent through you felt like an electric charge. 

He pulled you gently toward the edge of the balcony, where a thick railing curved in a graceful half-circle that allowed for a beautiful view of the evening horizon. The dark Ryloth sky was peppered with distant stars and nearby planets, as well as the occasional ship coming or going. As the two of you came to a halt against the railing, he released your hand, leaving a cold emptiness where it had been, and pointed at a cluster of glimmering lights in the sky. 

“If you watch there for the next twenty minutes, there’s a meteor shower expected to start…”

“Twenty minutes!” you laughed.

“I mean…” he began, faltering with a chuckle, “I guess that is a bit of a long time…” 

“We’ll have to find some way to keep ourselves occupied for all that time I guess,” you said, choking on your own words as they came out sounding far more suggestive than you’d anticipated. “I mean… I’d like to see it, and… Well I don’t know when the ceremony will be starting… But I also don’t really care…. I mean, not like I’m going to win any awards, but…” Your brain yelled at you to stop talking, because every word felt as though it were making it worse. 

But Howzer seemed unfazed, his steady presence brightened by the sparkle in his eye as he shook his head. “And just why wouldn’t you win an award?” was his only response, leaning over the railing to gaze out across the expanse, keeping his words light but still casting a sideways glance at you that gave you the tingles.

“They’re not given based on merit…” you began, cynicism rising to the surface in the wake of your stressful end-of-internship duties. His gaze danced in the moonlight, flickers of amusement battling an undercurrent of something deeper, something warmer. It felt like forever until his soft voice broke the spell.

"Well, I don’t know if they told you, but you were the first place finalist for the Howzer trophy," he countered, his grin widening as he turned fully to face you. 

You laughed out loud now, clapping a hand to your forehead. “Oh?” you asked curiously, hoping beyond hope that it meant what you thought. The awkwardness that had been simmering between you seemed to dissolve, replaced by a charged stillness. 

The silence stretched, punctuated only by the distant thrum of the city and the faint murmur of voices from within the chamber behind. Your hands, previously clutched together in nervous anticipation, twitched instinctively. One of them, as if possessed by its own will, drifted up, hovering near his armor plate for a second before returning to the railing.

Howzer's breath hitched, and his eyes flickered down to your hand, then back up to your eyes. His grin, which had been playful moments ago, softened into something sweeter, something tinged with a hint of vulnerability that mirrored your own. He leaned in, slowly, his face a mere whisper away from yours. 

“Yeah. I think you’re great,” he said softly.

Now your own breath caught in your throat, your mind a whirlwind of conflicting emotions. Should you pull away? Lean in? Speak, even though the right words seemed impossible in the face of this sudden, electrifying intimacy? The decision was almost out of your hands as his face drew closer still. His lips, slightly parted, hovered just a hair's breadth from yours. Was he leaning in for a kiss? Or was he teasing, enjoying the delicious torture of unspoken promises? That didn’t seem like him, but why was he taking so long? 

“Howzer, I… um…” you began, kicking yourself immediately for speaking in a moment such as this. Should you cup his face? Playfully brush a strand of hair from his forehead? Interlace your fingers with his? Your palms felt slick with nervous sweat, your fingers twitching with the urge to do something, anything, but they remained awkwardly suspended in the space between you.

His eyes seemed to twinkle with unspoken laughter, as if he could see the frantic dance of indecision playing out behind your eyes. But then, a flicker of something softer, something genuine, replaced the teasing glint. His gaze held yours, steady and intense, a silent plea for permission and eager hope. And in that moment, you knew. This wasn't about playful banter or coy games. 

With a sharp inhale, you closed the distance, your own lips meeting his in a hesitant, unsure kiss. Your hands, finally finding their purpose, landed clumsily on his chest for a moment, then tentatively cupped his face. His own hands, just as unsure, found their way to your waist, pulling you closer, grounding you in the reality of his closeness. When you finally pulled away, breathless and dizzying, your eyes met his, and the awkwardness was gone, replaced by a quiet joy. The two of you stared at each other for a moment, relishing in the waves of bliss that were washing over you repeatedly. 

"So," Howzer said, his voice rough with emotion, a playful glint still lingering in his eyes. "Still about seventeen minutes til that meteor shower eh?”

You laughed, absolutely quavering with emotion and excitement. “What to do…” you murmured, voice shaky and heart bursting at the seams. 

“I can think of a few things,” he murmured, stroking the side of your cheek with the back of his hand.

Tag List: @littlefeatherr @arctrooper69 @foreverdaydreaming1 @stunkbiggu @mxkyrie @littlemissbshine @dreamie411 @skellymom @followthepurrgil @the-hexfiles @1vlouds @ughhhhfoff @coraex @gt13tbbart @lune-de-miel-au-paradis @ghostperson69 @secondaryrealm @hellhound5925 @thew0nderer2342 @cloneloverrrrr @kashasenpai @clonethirstingisreal @girl_scout_reject @dukeoftheblackstar @kimiheartblade @mooncommlink @stardusthuntress @starstofillmydream @eyecandyeoz @dhawerdaverd @ladylucksrogue @thiswitchloves9904 @isthereanechoinhere96 @tech-aficionado @foodmoneyandcats @eternal-transcience @cw80831 @adh-d2 @techmexicanvieja @ezras-left-thumb @trixie2023 @sleepycreativewriter @nonsenseandm3mes

Click here to join or leave the tag list. <3

[critter-catcher]

Let's talk about gay penguins for the next day of pride month!

I think most people know at this point that penguins are known to be gay, and even lesbian! But what most people don't know is that they've been seen to engage in homosexual behavior since at least as early as 1911!

See a scientist, George Murray Levick, documented the behaviour in Adélie penguins at Cape Adare, but described it as "depraved". He decided it was too shocking for public release so he hid it. The only copies that were made available privately to researchers had the English text partly written in Greek letters, to prevent this knowledge becoming more widely known. The report was unearthed a century later, in June 2012 and was finally published.

(X)

Unfortunately that's not the last time gay penguins would cause an uproar.

There have been a lot of homosexual behavior seen in penguins in captivity, including Roy and Silo, two male chinstrap penguins in New York City's Central Park Zoo. They were noted by staff at the zoo in 1998 to be performing mating rituals, and one of them in 1999 attempted to hatch a rock as if it were an egg. Zoo keepers decided to give them an egg from a pair of penguins, which could not hatch it. Roy and Silo spent two and a half months raising the healthy young chick, a female named Tango. When she reached breeding age, Tango paired with another female penguin named Tanuzi!

(X)

Now for the "controversy".

And Tango Makes Three is a children's book published in 2005, telling the story of Roy and Silo. There was a lot of support, but there was even more backlash. Despite having ten awards and two nominations, it appeared on the American Library Association’s top ten banned books, banned in 2023, 2020, 2017, 2014, 2012, 2010, 2009, 2008, 2007, and firstly in 2006, just a year after it was published.

(X)

Alright, enough sad stuff, lets talk happy.

Here's the thing, penguins often lay more than one egg, though usually only one chick will survive. In captivity same sex penguins will adopt (or steal) extra eggs to incubate and raise the chicks! It's likely this happens in the wild, though it’s harder to say. Visibly, male and female penguins tend to only differ in size, and not by much. On top of that, they act very similar, particularly in terms of reproduction. Both males and females invest pretty equally in raising their chicks. That means it’s difficult to tell male and female penguins apart and even more difficult to identify any wild mating pairs as homosexual.

There have been many records of captive same sex penguins, and, there's even what could be considered a non-binary, or genderless, penguin.

In 2019, mothers Rocky and Marama hatched a chick together at sea Life Aquarium in London. This chick caused further controversy after the aquarium announced that it would not be assigning the chick a gender. The chick is identified with a gender-neutral purple tag rather than the usual gendered name and color coded tag. Beyond that, the penguin’s life will be the same as any other penguin at the Aquarium. They say that Gender means nothing to penguins, so why have we continuously assigned it to them? The General Manager of the aquarium comments that the decision to raise a genderless penguin is following an increase in conversations around human gender neutrality.

(X)

[avianyuh]

hey can i request one with Baekhyun, where he and the reader (she´s also famous) broke up, months ago, so she went on hiatus and after coming back, she gave a statement saying she was really sick so Baek finds out and reach to her.

thanks

HELLO, I haven't received an EXO request in a while! I'm so excited. This one is pretty long so I hope you enjoy it!

“I can’t do this anymore”, Baekhyun yelled as he slammed his fist down on the counter. You were separated by the kitchen island in his apartment. The two of you had been fighting for weeks over anything and everything. You knew it was stress. He had been booked and busy and so had you. Though you had an apartment of your own, the two of you spent the majority of your time at his place. So the past few weeks between your busy schedules consisting of studio sessions, photoshoots and variety show appearances, you would come home late, crawl into his bed regardless if he was home or not. 

For a little background, you had been together for three years. You met Baekhyun backstage at an award show. You had been in a successful group at the time and had just gone solo. You remembered being a nervous wreck that night as you were waiting backstage ro start your performance. He had been waiting with the rest of his members for their own performance, and had been subtly watching you from across the room. It sounded cliche but that was the truth. And although he knew of you, he had never spoken to you but he could tell you were nervous and needed some reassurance. So he stood up, put his hands in the pockets of his dress pants and started to slowly make his way over to you. The thing was, you had been so lost in your own thoughts that you hadn’t even noticed that he was now hovering over you as you sat on the edge of the bench in the waiting area. He took notice of how distracted you were so he cleared his throat in an effort to get your attention, which fortunately for him worked. You looked up, startled to see him standing over you. At first you thought he needed to get past you, so you scooted away and ushered with your arms for him to walk past you. Though all that did was make him laugh and motion no with his hands before he sat down next to you. 

“I can tell you’re nervous”, he said, his voice soothing, you felt yourself relax a bit as you stared into his eyes. “You have nothing to worry about, you have a beautiful voice and your songs are good. I can’t go anywhere without hearing them, people love you.” You shyly thanked him but shook your head no. 

“Thank you for trying to cheer me up but everyone who already went on has a better set than me, I think I’ll be the underwhelming performer of the night.” To that he looked at you with confusion. It was that kind of Are you serious? look.

“I mean, you’re entitled to your opinion, but you’re wrong. I know you’ll do great. And by the way, we all get nervous, it doesn't matter how many times you’ve performed, or if you’re in a group or alone, it’s always nerve-racking, but you’re here for a reason. That reason is because you can sing.”, Baekhyun said as he playfully nudged you before standing up. But before he went back to his group, he looked back at you and gave you a wink. Not going to lie, he made you blush. And he did reassure you because 15 minutes later you were on stage and you killed it. The next day all you saw on the news was praise. And later that night you exchanged phone numbers with Baekhyun and the rest was history. 

It was great for almost all of your relationship but since Baekhyun had been having problems with his company and was planning on leaving, things had become a little tense. For the first two years you had kept things private. But at the start of your third year together you both had come to the conclusion that you were sick of hiding and wanted to go public, so you did. It was rough the first few weeks and the headlines were brutal. You had never had much heat in your career, the only negative press you had ever received up until that point was your group’s disbandment. Especially since your solo career had done so well, some people claimed you sabotaged the group. It hurt, mainly because it wasn’t true, but you had survived it. And the same went for your relationship. Some people were mad, but you both survived it. But now you were getting nervous. It seemed like you and Baekhyun had been moving towards a breakup. But that was the last thing you wanted. But right now, you weren’t so sure you knew what Baekhyun wanted. 

Your voice quivered, “W-what do you mean you can’t do this anymore”, tears welled up in your eyes but you refused to let them fall, you had to show him that you were confident, confident that this phase of your relationship would pass. 

“Y/n, I can’t keep doing this. WE can’t keep doing this. The constant fighting. I come home, we talk and an hour later something sets one of us off.”, you knew he had a point. You looked at him from across the counter. He had dark circles under his eyes, which weren’t from you, but the stress from work, but the unstable homelife probably wasn’t helping, you had to admit. His hair was disheveled and he was wearing a baggy t-shirt. 

It was 12 in the morning and you should’ve been asleep but as the two of you had been laying in bed an hour ago, just as you were starting to drift off, Baekhyun told you as he held you in his arms, half asleep, that he had to go overseas for two months for a new project. You sat straight up from the shock of the news and your eyes that were fighting to say open a minute ago were now bugging out. 

“I’m sorry what”, you snapped. “You just came back from filming something in L.A? Now you’re leaving again. I think I’ve seen you maybe a handful of times this year. And I can’t remember the last time we went on a date.” His response? A sigh. You couldn’t believe it. He was acting like you were crazy and that just made you angrier. So now you’re here, standing across from him, an hour later. And though you hadn’t looked in a mirror, your own appearance mimicked his. You had eyebags to match his, your hair looked like a hairbrush hadn’t been through it in days even though you had just brushed it that morning, you were in your sweatpants and one of his shirts. You both looked stressed. You had your own problems too. Your album had been delayed another three months and your fans, though very loyal to you, not to mention protective, were starting to get impatient considering this was the second delay of your comeback. 

You felt like he didn’t care. And that he wasn’t the same man from three years ago that came up to you in the waiting area and reassured you despite the fact he didn’t have to. 

You took a sharp inhale, tears blurring your vision, you knew you were reaching your breaking point. Something had to change. “So…what do you want to do? Breakup? Take a break? Go to bed and talk about it in the morning?”, you were throwing out as many possibilities as you could, though you hated the first two options, you knew you had to consider them at this point. Baekhyun leaned against the counter behind him. He looked down at the floor for a long while before he looked back up at you. He said nothing, just pursed his lips. Because you knew him so well, you had gotten your answer. You swallowed hard and tried to stop the tears from falling. He came over to you, kissed your forehead and pulled you into his embrace. You breathed him in, melting in his arms. You knew this was the last time you’d have him all to yourself. To feel safe and secure. 

The next morning you packed your stuff up, he drove you to your apartment, came in and got his own things he had left at your place and got ready to leave. 

The two of you stood in the doorway, just looking at each other. Sadness evident on both of your faces. He leaned in and placed a soft kiss on your lips. You couldn’t bring yourself to hate him, even after the countless fights. You loved him too much. 

Turns out the three month delay had turned into a sixth month delay of your album. You and Baekhyun had decided to wait a month before announcing the split. The last time you contacted him was over text right after the breakup. You had asked if you should tell your company or not, to which he said he thought you should wait. You were sure why he wanted to hold off on a split announcement. And a small part of you hoped it was because any day now he’d be at your door, a hysterical mess and take back the breakup. But to your dismay that never happened. Between losing the life of your life to a bunch of petty fights and frustrations from your jobs, the stress of the album delays and rerecordings and scrapings of songs had amounted to you falling ill. All the stress you had been under had actually made you physically sick. So you laid low, didn;t really go out and just loathed in your self-pity. It wasn’t until a friend of yours had shown up at your apartment one day and talked some sense back into you. A month later you were officially back. You had your ‘mask’ on, pretending to be strong. Luckily you had recovered fully and you could at least prove to the world that you were healthy. Your long overdue album had reached the top of the charts, everything was going well and your schedule was booked up again. You had work back in your life to fill the void in your heart. But you knew that only one man could truly fill the empty space. And that was life for a few weeks. It wasn’t until you had gone on a talk show and had been asked about those few months you were on hiatus that you finally revealed you had been sick. That your body had been put under too much stress. The interviewer gasped as you nodded. Though you weren’t the biggest fan of oversharing, it did feel good to know that your fans were aware of why you had been gone for so long. All of the support rolled in online. Things were starting to look positive again. 

But everything changed the night the interview aired on TV. You heard a knock on your door. You had been sitting on your couch, scrolling through your phone. The time read 9:08. You were hesitant to even approach your door, but when you looked at the front door camera, you felt your heart race increase. There he was. Baekhyun. You immediately unlocked the door. It swung open and he looked down at you, eyes full of concern. 

“Baekhyun? What are you doing here”, you asked as you stepped aside to let him in. But he stood in the same spot outside of the door. 

“I had no idea you had gotten sick. Why didn’t you call me?”, he asked as he reached for your hands. You looked down for a second. 

“I thought we weren’t on speaking terms anymore”, you whispered. 

“I think the whole breakup thing was a bad idea. I miss you”, he said as his hand caressed your cheek. He stepped inside and closed the door behind him. You felt tears well up in your eyes, you had been holding it in, just how much you had missed him. He still had bags under his eyes. “Have you been sleeping well”, you asked, concern was laced into your question. 

“Is it obvious?”, he responded. You laughed as you brushed a strand of hair out of his eyes. 

“No more fights.” you stated. 

“No more fights”, he repeated. 

“I love you” you said simultaneously. 

[hereticpriest]

Red Carpet

Relationship: Dirk Brûlée x reader

Warnings: Public displays of affection, flirting, inappropriate touching in public, light mention of alcoholism and addiction recovery, vaginal fingering, breeding kink, possessive talk, affianced couple, pussy talk (iykyk)

It was your first red carpet event. Your first truly public event, in which you were not just attending with Dirk and staying on the sidelines while he did an interview or photoshoot. This wasn’t your instagram announcement - which had had the side effect of boosting your instagram and making you thank God that Dirk had gone through your profile with you to delete all of your embarrassing or exposing posts - or any of your frequent appearances on one of his many social media profiles. You would have to face red carpet interviews, paparazzi, professional photographers, and countless reporters.

Your dress was made by Hass Idriss, a sunset-coloured orange, red and purple dress of flowy fabrics and a crystalled structured bodice in long, angular, geometric patterns. The bodice and top of the flowing train is a pale grey-lilac, which becomes orange and purple as it reaches your hips. The back of the dress is formed of two crossed strips of fabric off of which the train flows, and otherwise the dress begins at your lower back. The bodice flows down in a series of godets and crystal detailing. Normally, it wouldn’t be anything you’d ever dare to wear, but Dirk had been slowly introducing you to more and more of his fashion designer friends, which led to you dressing in much more interesting clothes at work to your boss and the gallery patrons’ delight. You were starting to embrace your body and becoming more confident in your physical being, which led you here. 

The theme for tonight’s award event was mythology, and everyone was meant to be going all out on their choices. Attendees had to submit their mythology choice and theming to the event runners, and Dirk thanked god for your quickness, as you’d managed to snag Greek mythology before too many people could sign up for it. You knew plenty about mythology as it was a popular topic in art, but you knew you looked beautiful in drapery, and you had been to Greece once for a highschool trip, and again before your mother remarried as a mother-daughter trip. Dirk, who couldn’t care less so long as he got the chance to dress up, had been happy to go along with your preference.

Dirk was proudly dressed quite similarly to yourself in flowy fabrics, a take on some sort of sun god with expertly draped fabric across his chest in one direction with a pinned broach of the sun, and a geometric patterned gold translucent fabric draped across his chest in the other direction. The bottom was flowy white pants with the same gold fabric along the outer and inner leg to create something of a peak-a-boo. That fabric also created something of a cape which Dirk had delighted in swooshing at you dramatically while he was getting ready.

Both of you wore sharp, expertly applied golden eyeliner and gold freckles, and while Dirk wore only clear lip gloss for a shiny look, you had your top lip painted pitch black while the inside of the bottom lip was shaded and the rest remained nude and glossy. You would post an instagram photo later tonight of your original lip look, which was a liquid lipstick that looked like you’d dipped your lips in liquid gold. Unfortunately, its staying power was minimal at best, and your makeup artist decided instead to go for what she referred to as a ‘Shego’ look that might make you look burnt by the sun as the partner of the ‘sun god’. You got a good photo before taking it off, and promised to post it and tag her for credit later that evening.

You may or may not have bought the black lipstick online while she was finishing the rest of your makeup because you loved the lipstick look so much. It was also, thankfully, kissproof, which Dirk had determined after thoughtlessly kissing you while passing by you to get his shoes. Both of you were wearing gladiator sandals, and Dirk’s laced up to nearly his knees while yours were mostly hidden by your dress.

Your loving boyfriend spent most of the limo ride rubbing your back, pressing kisses along your shoulder and whispering about all the dirty things he was going to do to you when the night was over. Or, in the bathroom if you kept looking so pretty and sinful, he threatened gently. He knew you were terrified of flubbing on the red carpet, and he also knew the easiest way to distract you was by teasing you with what he’d do to you with your privacy tonight. Sean was spending the weekend at Nadia’s, which meant that Dirk had you all to himself. You were fairly sure he’d make good use of it, even if you were only wearing your paint-stained sweatpants and a baggy t-shirt.

As you arrive at the event, he steps out first, then offers you his hand with a flourish of his cape that you knew was as much for him as it was for the cameras. He was very fond of the cape. As you step out of the car, he strokes his thumb across your knuckles, guiding you away from the limo and leaning in to kiss you for all the cameras to see. Gentle fingers trace the shell of your ear, then tap the sparkly purple opal earrings you’re wearing that catch like fire in the light. You’re thoroughly distracted from the flash of photographers, and are only pulled out of it when he offers you his arm.

“I’ll answer most of the questions. Speak up when you feel comfortable, ma déesse.” Dirk whispers to you, and you nod, following him up towards the doors. He pauses as a couple of reporters call for him, leading you over and introducing you as his girlfriend, his arm protective around your waist.

“Dirk, lovely to see you! This is the first time you’ve brought a date to one of these events since… well, you know. It’s great to see you with someone. How long have you two been together?” A male reporter with a curled old-fashioned moustache asks, and Dirk slides his fingertips into the open back of your dress.

“We’ve been together for four months and six days.” Dirk replies, and you snicker, patting his ribs affectionately while his fingertips slip deeper into your dress. You knew it had been four months, but the number of days wasn’t something you were tracking.

“Very specific.” The man comments with a grin that says he likes the idea of Dirk being that into his partner, though you’re unsure if that’s because he wants Dirk to be happy or he wants the drama, “your looks are obviously inspired by Greek mythology, and it looks like you’ve got a sun and sunset theme going on. Who are you wearing?”

“Hass Idriss.” You answer for him, and the reporter lights up to see that you’re engaging, “there’s an artist whose sculptures capture and reimagine key moments in Greek mythology at the gallery where I work, and I couldn’t help but be inspired. I’m lucky Dirk went along with my idea.”

“Well, it seems to me that Dirk is the lucky one. You both look stunning. Could you spin for us, please, Miss…?”

“Brülée is fine.” You reply, obediently parting from Dirk’s side to do a dainty little spin that causes the fabric to flow out like licking flames around your legs. Cameras click, and your cheeks get hot as you return to Dirk’s side. He takes your hand, twisting it so that the ring on your finger catches the light. The reporter gasps, holding out his hand as if asking for a closer look, and you let him take your hand so he can examine your ring. Photographers take multiple photos, and you giggle as Dirk kisses your shoulder.

“So quickly! You two must really be in love.” The reporter exclaims, and you beam, letting Dirk turn you to face him so he can steal another kiss.

“We are. I’ve never loved anyone as much as I love her and our boy.” Dirk admits, nuzzling his nose against yours and looking at you with all of the love in the world. The reporter gives a dreamy sigh, and another one cuts in to ask.

“Your boy?”

Dirk smiles, kissing your forehead reassuringly while you slowly turn to face the reporters.

“My parents passed away a few years ago, and my younger brother was very young, so I adopted him. He doesn’t remember them very well, so he calls me his mother, not his sister. I’ve raised him on my own the last few years, but he’s… he’s really blossomed with having a guy around to give him some of the attention that I can’t always give him. Dirk is amazing with kids, I think we all know that from the show alone, but it’s all real. He’s so good with Sean and his friends.” You explain, and Dirk presses another kiss to your temple, his hand sliding into the back of your dress again.

“Does the age difference between you both concern you at all?” A female reporter asks, and you shrug.

“Dirk never makes me feel like there’s an age difference at all. He doesn’t treat me like a lot of older men treat me, like they’re superior. He’s very young at heart. He likes learning new things, and he tends to be the one helping me figure out new technology or new apps. And… well, look at him.” You shrug, gesturing to Dirk, whose smug grin only grows more smug, “He’s gorgeous, and he isn’t suffering physically from his age in any way I’ve ever noticed. I’ve always been very, very satisfied.”

The reporters chitter with laughter and the moustached one even gives Dirk a fist bump that he accepts with a laugh. You both pose for a couple of photos, then head up the red carpet a bit further for a couple more similar interviews. You see several celebrities you know as you pose for photos with Dirk, and he pauses briefly to say hello to a few people he knows while you pretend you aren’t as starstruck and unsure as you are. A hand slips into the back of your dress to give the back of your thong a tug, and you jump, then slap Dirk on the chest while he snickers and leads you into the event.

Here is where your job truly begins. Dirk has notoriously avoided these events since he entered rehab due to the alcohol present, but he trusts himself, and more importantly, he trusts you. Tonight, your job is to keep Dirk suitably distracted and make sure he isn’t tempted with alcohol. As you both approach your table, you ask a passing server for two glasses of water, and instruct them not to offer anyone at your table any alcohol. The server seems confused for a moment, but agrees, and you both take a seat. There isn’t a dinner, and the servers are really only for drinks between awards, so you aren’t too worried. You pet Dirk’s arm as you sit obnoxiously close to him, thigh-to-thigh so that he can feel you, unworried that you look clingy in that moment because you know he needs you.

The awards ceremony is long, but Dirk wins an award for his supporting role in a comedy he’d filmed before you both met. He thanks you during his speech, not for supporting him through it as you hadn’t been around, but instead for everything you’ve done since. For loving him, accepting him, giving him the experience of being a sort of father figure, and hopefully soon the role of a father as well. That earns you both quite a few cheers, and you have to work not to hide from all of the attention. Dirk returns to your side and pulls you up into a passionate kiss, murmuring against your lips that he’d quite like to get started on making that baby when you both get home.

“I love you.” Dirk whispers against your lips while several people around you down their champagne.

“I love you more. If you weren’t already marrying me, I’d ask you this time.” You tease, and Dirk laughs against your lips, nuzzling his nose against yours.

“You already got me a ring, baby, don’t steal all my thunder.” He replies, and you both sit down together. He pulls your legs into his lap, running his hands soothingly over your thighs and knees.

“We should’ve gone to Vegas.” You retort, “I’ve already stopped my birth control. If you knock me up now, I’m going to look fat on our wedding day.”

“You stopped?” Dirk asks, and you do a very bad job hiding your grin behind your glass of water.

“Oh, didn’t I tell you?”

Dirk’s Adam's apple bobs, and you bite your cheek to keep from giggling at his obvious arousal. You can already feel it pressing up against your legs draped oh so helpfully across his lap.

“We should go to the bathroom.” Dirk says quite suddenly, and you finally laugh, even as his hand tries to find its way under the skirt of your dress.

“I’m not letting you get me pregnant in the bathroom of an awards show, baby.”

“Aww, come on, mon amour. I just won an award, don’t you want to give me a better one?” He asks, and you giggle, finally pressing a kiss to his cheek.

“Call the driver. I’ll let you have whatever you like as a reward when we get home, okay?”

And you do.

He takes you home, carefully undressing you both and hanging your outfits to be returned to the designer tomorrow. He carries you to your bedroom with a snarky comment about how he definitely isn’t showing his age, throwing you down onto the bed and demanding Alexa play your special playlist that you both created together. You barely protest as he folds you in half, biting your ankle, then your calf as he presses two fingers into you and presses his thumb into your clit.

“Hold your legs open, mon amour, give me room.” He commands, and you obey immediately. You promised him whatever he wanted, you’d be damned if you didn’t give it to him. You had plenty of time as the dominant partner in your relationship, and you would never say no to him wanting to take over.

“Je t’adore.” You murmur, and Dirk bends to steal a kiss, gentle as can be despite the way he fucks his fingers into you at a steady pace. They curl, stroking hard across your g-spot in a way that makes you arch and struggle, but Dirk pins your leg down on the bed to keep you spread wide open. He groans as you come around his fingers in no time flat, always eager for the times when you’re so easy to please he barely has to put any effort in.

“I can tell you’re off that shit, mon amour, your cunt is begging for me. Listen to her cry for more.” Dirk coos, rocking his fingers up and down within you to stimulate the walls of your cunt while simultaneously creating a loud squelching sound from the honey dripping from you, “So wet, love. I bet I can get you there tonight, can’t I?”

You whine, but Dirk ignores it, pulling his fingers free of you to rub against your clit aggressively. Your legs tense and twitch as he slips his fingers back inside of you. You jerk, and he chuckles, finding that perfect pace that he knows will take you apart while he leans up to kiss you. His gentle but passionate kiss is in stark contrast to the way he roughly unravels you, and you moan his name breathlessly into the kiss as you feel a particular pressure building.

“Gonna-” You gasp, and Dirk moans eagerly as you start to clench around his fingers, nearly vice-like as your hips jerk, and you squirt.

“Fuuuuck, yes baby, there it is. God, you’re so fucking perfect. Ma petite femme, squirting for me so perfectly. M’never letting you go back onto your birth control, baby. I’ll keep this pussy, my pussy, nice and full all the time, yeah? Would you like that?” Dirk asks, and you sob a nonsensical response that he seems to take as a yes. He doesn’t give you much of a chance to protest. Before you’ve even finished coming, he presses his cock into you, stretching you open in a way that’s almost mean. It hasn’t been that long since you both have fucked, but if you don’t take Dirk every day, you find it to be a bit of a stretch.

“S’too much.” You slur, but Dirk ignores you, enjoying the way your cunt seems to suck his cock in deeper.

“Non, ma belle, your pussy knows better. She wants more. She’s begging for more, can you hear her crying?” He asks, shushing you so you can hear the lewd squelch of his cock in your wet, sloppy cunt.

“Dirk, please!”

“I know, I know. I’ll give you everything you want, mon amour. I’ll fuck a baby into you, make you swell with my seed, and then marry you while you’re still barefoot and pregnant. God, you’re so fucking beautiful. So perfect. You feel like heaven around my cock, ma déesse.” Your fiance groans, pushing your legs up further so he can fuck himself deeper into you. He leans down for another kiss, licking up the drool that slips past your lips while you’re unable to stop moaning. You devour each other - starving, and desperate, and insatiable - all sharp, biting teeth and questing tongues. As Dirk gets closer, he rolls his hips deeper, holding you tightly to him as he kisses you. The angle of his hips grinds his pelvic bone into your clit just right, dragging you towards a third orgasm kicking and screaming. A loud groan slips from Dirk’s lips as he tips over the edge, and you cling to his back, nails digging into his shoulder blades as he pushes you over the edge with him.

You fall asleep pinned beneath Dirk’s weight just how you like it, his seed stuffed so deeply inside of you that it takes minutes before it slowly begins to leak out. Thankfully, he’s fairly sure it’s already taken by then.

[justforbooks]

Paul Auster, American author of The New York Trilogy, dies aged 77

The writer of The New York Trilogy, Leviathan and 4 3 2 1 – known for his stylised postmodernist fiction – has died from complications of lung cancer

Paul Auster, the author of 34 books including the acclaimed New York Trilogy, has died aged 77.

The author died on Tuesday due to complications from lung cancer, his friend and fellow author Jacki Lyden confirmed to the Guardian.

Auster became known for his “highly stylised, quirkily riddlesome postmodernist fiction in which narrators are rarely other than unreliable and the bedrock of plot is continually shifting,” the novelist Joyce Carol Oates wrote in 2010.

His stories often play with themes of coincidence, chance and fate. Many of his protagonists are writers themselves, and his body of work is self-referential, with characters from early novels appearing again in later ones.

“Auster has established one of the most distinctive niches in contemporary literature,” wrote critic Michael Dirda in 2008. “His narrative voice is as hypnotic as that of the Ancient Mariner. Start one of his books and by page two you cannot choose but hear.”

The author was born in Newark, New Jersey, in 1947. According to Auster, his writing life began at the age of eight when he missed out on getting an autograph from his baseball hero, Willie Mays, because neither he nor his parents had carried a pencil to the game. From then on, he took a pencil everywhere. “If there’s a pencil in your pocket, there’s a good chance that one day you’ll feel tempted to start using it,” he wrote in a 1995 essay.

While hiking during a summer camp aged 14, Auster witnessed a boy inches away from him getting struck by lightning and dying instantly – an event that he said “absolutely changed” his life and that he thought about “every day”. Chance, “understandably, became a recurring theme in his fiction,” wrote the critic Laura Miller in 2017. A similar incident occurs in Auster’s 2017 Booker-shortlisted novel 4 3 2 1: one of the book’s four versions of protagonist Archie Ferguson runs under a tree at a summer camp and is killed by a falling branch when lightning strikes.

Auster studied at Columbia University before moving to Paris in the early 1970s, where he worked a variety of jobs, including translation, and lived with his “on-again off-again” girlfriend, the writer Lydia Davis, whom he had met while at college. In 1974, they returned to the US and married. In 1977, the couple had a son, Daniel, but separated shortly afterwards.

In January 1979, Auster’s father, Samuel, died, and the event became the seed for the writer’s first memoir, The Invention of Solitude, published in 1982. In it, Auster revealed that his paternal grandfather was shot and killed by his grandmother, who was acquitted on grounds of insanity. “A boy cannot live through this kind of thing without being affected by it as a man,” Auster wrote in reference to his father, with whom he described himself having an “un-movable relationship, cut off from each other on opposite sides of a wall”.

Auster’s breakthrough came with the 1985 publication of City of Glass, the first novel in his New York trilogy. While the books are ostensibly mystery stories, Auster wielded the form to ask existential questions about identity. “The more [Auster’s detectives] stalk their eccentric quarry, the more they seem actually to be stalking the Big Questions – the implications of authorship, the enigmas of epistemology, the veils and masks of language,” wrote the critic and screenwriter Stephen Schiff in 1987.

Auster published regularly throughout the 80s, 90s and 00s, writing more than a dozen novels including Moon Palace (1989), The Music of Chance (1990), The Book of Illusions (2002) and Oracle Night (2003). He also became involved in film, writing the screenplay for Smoke, directed by Wayne Wang, for which he won the Independent Spirit award for best first screenplay in 1995.

In 1981, Auster met the writer Siri Hustvedt and they married the following year. In 1987 they had a daughter, Sophie, who became a singer and actor. Auster’s 1992 novel Leviathan, about a man who accidentally blows himself up, features a character called Iris Vegan, who is the heroine of Hustvedt’s first novel, The Blindfold.

Auster was better known in Europe than in his native United States: “Merely a bestselling author in these parts,” read a 2007 New York magazine article, “Auster is a rock star in Paris.” In 2006, he was awarded Spain’s Prince of Asturias prize for literature, and in 1993 he was given the Prix Médicis Étranger for Leviathan. He was also a Commandeur de l’Ordre des Arts et des Lettres.

In April 2022, Auster and Davis’s son, Daniel, died from a drug overdose. In March 2023, Hustvedt revealed that Auster was being treated for cancer after having been diagnosed the previous December. His final novel, Baumgartner, about a widowed septuagenarian writer, was published in October.

Auster is survived by Hustvedt, their daughter Sophie Auster, his sister Janet Auster, and a grandson.

Daily inspiration. Discover more photos at Just for Books…?

[blackswaneuroparedux]

The badge was meant to be a flaming ‘Excalibur’ - recalling the Lewes bomb that contained both plastic explosive and inflammable thermite with time pencils. I knew that, but most of us called the stylised badge a ‘winged dagger’ and it made a better title for a book than ‘Flaming Sword’ ‘Who Dares Wins’ etc. the sword looks more like a commando knife and was certainly not meant to be a ‘Sword of Damocles’.

Roy Farran, ‘Winged Dagger’ (1948)

The badge of the Special Air Service was created by Corporal Bob Tait in October 1941, who would survive the war and die in retirement in 1975.

Robert ‘Bob’ Duncan Tait was a founding member of ‘L Detachment’, later the SAS, and is credited with the design of the most coveted military badge in the world: the SAS winged dagger. Tait was part of 11 Commando before he was invited to join L Detachment under the direction of Col. Stirling while fighting in North Africa in World War Two.

He survived the regiment’s first disastrous operation: a parachute drop in support of the Operation Crusader offensive in Libya in November 1941. It proved to be an unmitigated disaster when 22 men out of 60 were either killed or captured by the Germans.

The second was far more successful and saw Bob Tait as one of five commandos who snuck into a German aerodrome deep behind enemy lines and laid explosives that destroyed 37 aircraft. The raid secured the future of the SAS as it convinced military chiefs a specially trained unit that could operate behind enemy lines was needed.

In between the raids, the members of the newly formed unit held an informal competition to design the insignia for the regiment. Tait’s design of King Arthur’s Excalibur sword - not a dagger as commonly thought - with light blue wings either side of it was voted the best by the rest of the men and is the cap badge still in use today.

The SAS insignia represents King Arthur’s flaming sword Excalibur - not the dagger as it came to seen as.  Indeed the name ‘the Winged Dagger’ appears to have first been published in a SHAEF communique of 1944 which was then quoted in the Sunday Times and Observer newspapers.

Having already been awarded a Military Cross and Bar with the 3rd Hussars, Roy Farran joined 2nd SAS in 1943. Although not serving with the Regiment when the insignia were developed, his book, ‘Winged Dagger’ was truly the first book to shed light on the SAS when it was published in 1948. The image of the ‘winged dagger’ stuck in the public consciousness.

Early examples were made up by Cairo tailors and many variants can be seen.

By March 1944, the 1st and 2nd SAS Regiments returned to the United Kingdom and joined a newly formed SAS Brigade, a component of 1st Airborne Corps, commanded by Lieutenant General Frederick ‘Boy’ Browning, with Brigadier Roderick McLeod in charge of the SAS.  Many more badges would be required, and it was essential that a standardised design was agreed upon - see top right.

In March 1951 the Malayan Scouts adopted the maroon beret and the badge of the Special Air Service and this was worn by the members of 21 SAS who formed the new B Squadron - see centre left. The instruction that brought the Malayan Scouts into the British Army Order of Battle as 22 SAS Regiment dates from 16th July 1952.

The central badge was worn by 21 SAS on the right arm when it was formed in 1947. At that stage they wore the Mars and Minerva cap badge of the Artists Rifles on their maroon berets which was of similar design. However, in 1956, these were swapped, and the design of the beret badge was published in that year (rather curiously on a crudely cut out backing)

The 1956 badge was worn throughout the 1960s - see bottom left. But this had become somewhat anaemic by the early 1980s. The current pattern is shown bottom right.