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kn1feinthec0ffee · 4 years ago

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new team - shoyo hinata

shoyo hinata x fem!reader

summary: you teach hinata some skills in middle school and to pay you back, he guarantees you a spot on the karasuno volleyball team.

warnings: NONE VERY FLUFFY

word count: 1,737

notes: i rlly rlly liked writing this bc i love my boy hinata and this just flowed so naturally and i’m rlly proud of it :’)

i also usually write gender neutral reader bc i’m nb and i wanna cater to as many ppl as possible and make them feel valid, but it was kinda necessary to the story for reader to be fem in this one

********************

after setting a ball to your friend, you noticed a short boy by himself in the corner of the gym with bright orange hair, setting and receiving against the wall. you made your way over to him, observing that he actually wasn’t too bad.

“oi, redhead,” you called out playfully. he turned around with a look of confusion on his face, as if to say ‘me?’ “yeah you. i couldn’t help but notice you’re playing all by your lonesome over here. any particular reason for that?”

his cheeks tinged pink at the callout, but he responded nonetheless. “w-well there’s not enough boys for the school to create a boys volleyball club, so i’m trying to get as many hours of practice in at school as i can.”

you nodded in recognition of his situation. “well, sorry to say you won’t get very far if the wall is your only opponent. but you’re certainly welcome to practice with me when my practice is over. if you’re interested, of course.”

“woah, really? you’d do that for me?” he asked in astonishment, eyes going wide as saucers.

“of course i would. i may not know much about you, but i can tell you have a passion for the sport, and it’d be a real shame for that to fizzle out,” you smiled genuinely. “i’ll help you practice...”

it took him a moment to realize you were waiting for his name. “oh! hinata! shoyo hinata.” he introduced.

“well shoyo hinata, i’m y/n l/n and i look forward to practicing with you.” you grinned. a whistle blew behind you, pulling you from your conversation with the boy. “sorry, i’ll see you later!”

sure enough, you found him waiting out by the baseball field, spinning a volleyball in his palm. after a short while of practicing, you realized you had underestimated this kid and the power he can pack in his spikes. it was clear he needed to improve in his receives, but he was in remarkably good shape for playing against a wall every week.

the two of you quickly became good friends, shoyo becoming your number one supporter - aside from your parents, of course. he attended all your games, cheering obnoxiously loud when it was your turn to serve.

over the summer from 8th to 9th grade however, the two of you didn’t see each other nearly as often as you used to. you had to admit it made you sad; the sweet redheaded boy had carved a special spot in your heart and you missed him dearly.

you attended karasuno high school, hoping to join the girls volleyball club and make some new friends. upon examining the club applications, much to your dismay, it appeared that such a club didn’t exist.

volleyball was your passion, and it hurt that you had no way of pursuing it anymore.

hanging your head in defeat and crumpling up the paper, you heard footsteps approaching rapidly from in front of you. before you could look up, a body suddenly collided with you, nearly knocking you over with the momentum they had built up.

“y/n!” a familiar voice cried out. you quickly realized the voice belonged to hinata, who’s arms were currently wrapped around you.

“hinata! i can’t believe you go to school here! i’ve missed you so much!” you squealed, hugging him back.

he pulled away, a look of surprise on his face. “are you kidding? i can’t believe you go to school here! you oughta be wherever the best girls volleyball club is! speaking of that, have you joined yet?”

you glanced down to the crumpled paper that still pressed against your palm. “well that’s the thing, it’s not even a choice on the club application form. unfortunately, i don’t think karasuno has one.”

shoyo gasped dramatically, jaw falling open in shock. “so what are you gonna do? you can’t just not play anymore, you’re so good!”

you smiled at the compliment from the boy, but your expression grew sadder. “thanks, shoyo, but i’m not sure what i can do. this seems like it’s out of my hands.”

a look of determination painted his features as he grabbed you by the shoulders. “no, i’m not gonna let this happen to you. don’t worry, y/n, i’ll find a way for you to play.”

he ran off, leaving you alone with your thoughts in the deserted hallway.

despite having absolutely no idea what he was planning, you trusted the boy. you knew he had your best interests at heart and would do anything to help you succeed, and you adored him for that. you just hoped whatever method he had to allow you to play wasn’t too embarrassing for you; you weren’t too keen on begging some team to let you play for them, but you had a feeling hinata’s plan wouldn’t involve that.

——————————

“please?” hinata begged.

“a girl? join the team? i don’t know hinata, you’d have to run it by the coach.” daichi uttered hesitantly.

“but you’re the captain, daichi, you have the final say!” he reminded him.

daichi sighed. “yeah, you’re right. what’s so special about this girl?”

he watched as hinata’s eyes lit up in excitement when he spoke about her. “well she was the setter in middle school, but that was only because no one else was good enough to play that position. she’s really versatile and she taught me practically everything i know about spiking! she’s also got some mean overhand serving skills; she’d be a great addition to the team! please, daichi, pretty please?”

he looked down at the boy to see him glancing up with a pair of puppy eyes, intent on winning him over. daichi felt he was powerless to do anything but give in, though his description of you did sound pretty great if he was being honest.

“alright, i’ll talk to the coach and see what he thinks. bring her to our next practice and introduce her to everyone.” he said, not missing the bright grin that donned the redhead’s face at his words.

“thank you so much, sir! you won’t regret it, i promise!” he ran back towards the basket of balls to practice serving once more.

——————————

“where are you taking me, shoyo?” you muttered. “can you take your hands off yet?”

he had cornered you back in the main building, insisting you accompany him to some unknown destination he had in mind. since then, he had been walking directly behind you, his hands covering your eyes.

“i’ll show you...” he waited until you took a few more steps. “now!”

you blinked your eyes open to find yourself outside of the gym building. “the gym? what are we doing here, hinata?”

you turned to him and he grinned. “volleyball practice is about to start.”

“volleyball - as in boys volleyball? what am i doing here? am i here to watch you practice?”

he donned a soft smile at your confusion. “no, you’re gonna practice.”

your eyes widened. “i am? i don’t even have any athletic clothes, shoyo, i just have my uniform!”

“i wouldn’t worry too much about that today,” he pushed you towards the doors. “i’ll just be introducing you to everyone today.”

“introducing...? what is going on here, hinata?” you questioned. he pushed the door open to reveal a large group of mostly tall boys, all staring down at you.

most of them looked friendly and approachable, but several of them looked rather intimidating. “everyone, this is y/n. y/n, this is your new team.” shoyo announced.

you gasped, turning towards hinata. “m-my new team? you got me a spot on the team?”

the look of gratitude in your eyes had him blushing a bright pink and he scratched the back of his head nervously. “it was nothing, really. y-”

he was cut off as you hugged him tightly, thanking him for allowing you to continue the sport you loved. “you don’t have to thank me, it’s not a huge deal or anything.”

“are you kidding? it’s a huge deal! i can’t believe you did this for me!” your smile nearly reached your ears.

he walked you around the gym, introducing you to his teammates. sugawara and asahi were incredibly sweet, even offering to set you a few balls to test your spiking abilities, though you declined since you were still wearing a skirt.

the intimidating one you saw earlier - tsukkishima, you had learned - was not as sweet as the others you had met and seemed rather distant, though you hoped that would fade as you got to know him.

tanaka and nishinoya were full of energy and practically gushing over you even though they hadn’t yet witnessed your abilities.

the one shoyo introduced as kageyama shot you a nasty glare. “what position did you play?”

“setter,” you murmured, slightly on edge from the look of intensity in his eyes. that intensity morphed into fury after your words, intimidating you further.

you quickly remembered this was the incredible setter hinata had mentioned several times before. “o-oh! don’t worry, i don’t plan on taking your spot or anything, i’m sure you’re far better than i am!”

“good.” you smiled at him nervously. “if you’re good enough, maybe i’ll send you a couple sets.”

and of course you met daichi, the captain to whom you owed your spot on this team. he was very friendly and personable and you suspected he was the type to give inspirational speeches before games.

kageyama pulled hinata aside, practicing quick attacks with him, leaving you with daichi.

“hinata talks about you quite a bit, y’know,” daichi murmured, catching your attention.

“he does?” you queried. “all good things, i hope.”

the captain smiled down at you. “he speaks very highly about you and your skills. i think he’s got a bit of a bias since you taught him what he knows, but i don’t doubt you’ll really prove yourself on the court.”

your eyes went wide at the faith he already had in you, despite never seeing you play. “thank you, daichi, that really means a lot.”

the boys divided themselves into teams, starting a practice match as you and daichi observed from the sidelines. your eyes found hinata in the back row, who gave you a wide grin and a wave.

you waved back, your heart warming at the gesture. you had only just met the boys, but you couldn’t wait for the next practice.

********************

i might make this a series? maybe?? maybe not?? idk but let me know what u think :D

tags: @aestosia @elysianslove

not working: @akaashis-keiji @bloodydestiney

#hinata #shoyo hinata #hinata shoyo #shoyo hinata x reader #shoyo hinata imagine #shoyo hinata fluff #shoyo hinata fanfiction #shoyo hinata fanfic #shoyo hinata fic #haikyuu!!#haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #hq #hq x reader #my writing

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palmett-hoes · 4 years ago

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per your post "every single one of the monsters is autistic and/or adhd" will you elaborate on that?, if you do i will love you forever (not that i wont if you dont do it)

oh boy i would love to!!! unironically nothing brings me more joy than writing long, convoluted character analysis posts

---

okay so i’ve written several posts before about why andrew is autistic. his moral code, the roundabout way he communicates, his body language, his stimulation-seeking behavior, his strict adherence to transactional deals, the emphasis on honesty, and a dozen other details. at this point i just take andrew being autistic as fact, not just an interpretation

h o w e v e r i also hc that andrew is dyslexic, which is also a neurodiverse condition

- - -

similarly, i’ve seen more than one person interpret kevin as autistic, and i absolutely agree that it fits. not just the hyperfocus on exy but mostly the way he communicates. he’s very indirect, especially in his affection but very direct with his opinions. he tries to be helpful in a material way to the people he cares about, even if he comes off as negative. he wants the people he cares about to be safe and successful so he pushes them to work hard and reminds them in measurable ways how to stay healthy. he doesn’t factor in a lot of room for emotions, so instead he focuses on quantifiable things that he can improve. i personally act very similarly. approaching someone emotionally is hard for me, so when the people i care about have problems all i can think to do is try offering solutions, check up on their well-being, etc. practicality instead of conventional sentiment is extremely common with asd

- - -

so now let’s talk about neil. i had to think on this one for a WHILE but ultimately came to the conclusion that neil is adhd, probably hyperactive type.

like obviously neil is high energy. i would say he probably does the most exercise of anyone on the team. morning run, morning practice, afternoon practice, night practice with kevin and andrew, plus he doesn’t have a car so he runs to class (on a BIG ass campus), and goes for an extra run when he feels stressed. that’s... insane, honestly.

neil reminds me SO MUCH of this post that goes:

“Was just informed by my mom that I do in fact have ADHD and the reason I thought I didn’t was because ever since I was seven whenever I got super energetic my mom would have me go chop wood so now when I’m feeling The ADHD I go chop wood”

(phenomenal post) and that’s neil to a t. tell me this isn’t exactly how neil handles his problems and also exactly what mary would have had to do to keep her unmedicated and very energetic son focused on the task of staying alive

neil also definitely has that ADHD on/off switch with his interest. the obvious being exy which is like the definition of a hyperfixation, but you can see it in other things: the way he runs totally hot or totally cold with people, his complete disinterest in his schoolwork, the way he can’t seem to sit still long enough to follow movies. but then there’s also the hyperfocus. doing the same drill for hours on end. watching exy game after exy game. staring at andrew until time falls away

what’s more, neil on many occasions shows racing thoughts, both in an anxiety way (and anxiety often goes hand-and-hand with adhd) but also as a way to quickly and accurately take in details about people to build a character profile of them. this is what allows him to connect with the foxes, how he manages to get through andrew’s puzzles, and even how he knows what to say in order to knock riko down a peg. his brain just works so fast and it takes in a lot of very specific details and disparate information to make connections.

but also like,, neil has a HUGE problem with time blindness. like the instant he didn’t have his mother around to manage and direct him anymore he lost all sense of time. he stayed in Millport for a YEAR. and what did he keep telling himself during that time? basically “i really need to move on, but not just yet.” for a YEAR! then he gets to palmetto and he’s like “i’ll cut and run in a month or two” then he doesn’t “i’ll be gone by halloween” wrong again “i’ll leave by the raven’s game” nope. like,, the boy just has NO sense of time and he can’t seem to make himself DO anything outside of an externally enforced schedule. and even then,,, HE HAD 48 FUCKING DAYS TO FIGURE OUT SOMETHING TO DO TO NOT GET MURDERED! 48 WHOLE DAYS. he didn’t make a plan, he didn’t write down any letters with goodbyes, he didn’t GO TO THE FBI LIKE HE’D INTENDED TO THE WHOLE TIME! nah he just made out with andrew and when he finally got to zero he was just like “ah shit, that was fast. oh well guess i’ll die” and that’s time blindness, babey!

---

let’s move on to nicky.

now i think it would be really easy to say nicky is just adhd because he’s high energy and forgetful but tbh,, i don’t think that’s all of it. like if you really look at nicky’s character and especially at his problems, he has asd problems just as much as he has adhd problems.

so nicky is dual diagnosis asd and adhd. also nicky reminds me a lot of a girl i used to know who was autistic/adhd

so, adhd:

very generally speaking, ppl with adhd will struggle with sitting still, listening to and following instructions, planning/organization, following a schedule, and some social boundaries like “appropriate” times and topics of conversation

i would say you see hints of this with nicky. he’s definitely a rambunctious personality, constantly on the move, constantly stimulation seeking. he’s very tactile. he likes to dance, he likes to party, he complains about it but he’s an elite-level athlete. he’s also decidedly very chatty, and doesn’t seem to really pay attention to what he’s saying. he distracts himself and the people around him have to keep him on track. he has some trouble with boundaries. he’s a little all over the place. he’s almost a bit of an adhd stereotype

also one thing i find interesting is that when neil sees him in the library doing work neil is surprised to see he’s capable of that, especially bc when we see the upperclassmen doing work they generally do it in their dorms or on the bus and/or with other people around. that hyper-social nicky would be alone in a quiet place is weird. but this is like the most common tip for dealing with adhd. don’t do it in a familiar space. have a designated space and time to do work. limit distractions. just a lil detail

so now, asd:

in all honesty, most of nicky’s actual problems in the narrative could be viewed as stemming from asd symptoms. his number one issue being that he has a lot of trouble with nonverbal cues (and tbh, verbal ones too). the twins are mostly quiet. andrew especially (when he’s sober) communicates primarily nonverbally, and nicky seems to have a lot of trouble with this. despite knowing them for the longest on the team, nicky honestly seems to have the least insight into the way either of the twins actually thinks or processes things. he loves them, and he’s very forgiving of them, but he fundamentally doesn’t understand them.

the twins, andrew especially, put up a LOT of nonverbal boundaries, and nicky sort of inadvertently keeps trampling all over them. he’s touchy in a way they don’t like. he talks a lot about their personal lives to other people. he treats them like they’re joking when they’re serious. etc. and like,,, you kind of get the sense that the upperclassmen feel similarly about him. beyond the homophobia, beyond the fact that he’s loyal to andrew, the upperclassmen still treat him with this sense of,, bafflement, i suppose? it’s clear that they don’t really understand him and he doesn’t really understand them. although, nicky IS curious about the upperclassmen, while the upperclassmen are pretty dismissive of him. it reminds me of when my sweet, floppy dog tries to play with my cat. their body language is different; they’re each receiving different signals than they believe they’re sending out

only,, nicky loves people!! he likes being around them, he likes talking to them. he’s interested in their lives and stories, but it’s very clear that he can’t read between the lines on people. he has an incredibly hard time with people who expect their actions to speak for them, which is most people, but is especially his cousins.

actually this is very much also an issue that i have: things need to be spelled out for me. the way i deal with it is i ask a lot of questions. ‘how do you want me to react to this potential situation?’ ‘what are specific things that make you most comfortable?’ ‘please explain to me exactly how you feel and what has prompted those feelings?’ and i’m always communicating vice versa like that with other people. a lot of specifics in both questions and answers

and the interesting thing is, when i was skimming through the books reviewing dialogue styles for another ask, i noticed that, actually, nicky DOES do this. with neil and the upperclassmen, nicky asks a LOT of quick, clarifying questions. things that ask after tone, that ask after intent. it’s kinda sad that he does this for communicating with acquaintances, but with the twins, the people he’s closest to, he makes a lot more assumptions. and i’m really proud of nicky for having this coping skill, because i can’t imagine it’s something he grew up doing. there’s no way he was raised in an environment that fostered this kind of open communication so it must have been something he learned about much later, probably in germany with the kloses, which would also explain why he’s a lil imperfect about it

---

now last but not least, aaron

this is another one i had to think through for a long time before it felt like it fit

much like how i felt that it would be easy to read nicky as simply adhd rather than also asd, i think it would be easy to say aaron is autistic simply because he is quieter, less rambunctious. however, i actually think he’s adhd, likely primarily inattentive type

in all honesty, aaron’s #1 character trait for the first two books is basically that he’s disconnected. detached. separated both from his family and his team. not in the same forcefully apathetic way that andrew is, more,, spaced out. he’s just kind,, there. not really paying attention to what’s going on, tuning in every once in a while only if something really catches his eye/ear then tuning right back out again. just sits in his corner and plays on his phone. and the thing is, from the moments when he does tune in, you can tell that he actually does care. he backs nicky when seth insults him in tfc, and we know he cares deeply about andrew even if he’s become disillusioned with their fraught relationship. he even hangs with his family, doesn’t seem to really try and slip away to other friends besides katelyn, he’s fine spending his leisure time with the monsters. so it’s not totally apathy, he’s just,,, tuned out most of the time

and, yea, that sounds like adhd. it’s not the type that most people are familiar with, and for a lot of people this causes it to slip under the radar. it can make it hard to get help or a dx because it doesn’t fit with how adhd “should” look or how someone “should” act, but difficulty focusing your thoughts and staying in tune with the current moment is absolutely part of adhd

addiction is also a huge problem for people with adhd. a lot of stimulants affect people with adhd very differently than neurotypicals, especially in small doses, and an adhd kid who’s struggled their whole lives with the disorder might try speed or god-forbid meth or fuck even coffee and suddenly find that things are a lot easier for them. they start to self-medicate, they don’t actually know what they’re doing, and then they’re addicted, and everything spirals out of control. we don’t know too many details about aaron’s addiction other than that his mother enabled him, but wouldn’t this fit? it’s also an explanation for aaron still taking drugs at eden’s, given that cracker dust seems to be a mild amphetamine. (aaron talk to betsy about the neurocog and get an actual prescription please)

(total throw away but aaron plays videogames and videogames are like,, adhd culture)

#Anonymous #txt #andrew minyard #kevin day #neil josten #nicky hemmick #aaron minyard #my posts #im talkin #cw addiction #cw addiction mentioned

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lilyhoshikawa · 4 years ago

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🎥💕💎

Nyanko didn’t specify so I’m gonna do this abt WKTD and u can’t stop me!!

🎥: Do you have any favorite scenes from your hyperfixation?

I’m a basic Jupiter kinnie sadly so as expected. My favorite scene has gotta be the Red Ending 3am scene. There’s such a beautiful, horrible tension in the early moments- the anxiety and uncertainty over knowing that the least obvious among the trio is going to become the devil, the sad bargaining in lines like

“We don’t need to know who the devil is. It’s just a phase. …right?”

Which transitions into this pleading, and then

Venus: “I can feel fingers on my face and arm and everywhere.”

Jupiter: “Ahaha. Gross. I’m gross.”

And then the most iconic scene in this entire game, the most powerful and tiny act of the hair tie breaking, a piece of symbolism so small yet so monumentally significant. And then everything that follows, the entire speech.

“Don’t touch me. You shouldn’t touch me. I wasn’t born good.”

Talk abt lines that live in my mind rent free dhdjbdjd. Everyone talks about “I wasn’t born good” bc it’s a killer line and very relatable, but shoutout to some other stars:

“I can try hard, but I think… God knows my heart isn’t really in it.”

“Y’all are sweet. But don’t do that. I won’t be happy if you do.”

“I want to touch. I want to be touched. I want to hurt. I want to be hurt. And if you feel the same way, you’re as bad as me.”

“Won’t you let me feel like a real devil for a moment?”

And that’s all just. Amazing. There’s so much to say abt that from the perspective of religious guilt alone, of ppl who have experienced that unique kind of internal struggle with Christianity, let alone the compounded complications of being gay, trans, neurodivergent. It’s a really impactful scene especially for the game’s themes, bringing them all together in the perspective of your typical idealistic leader character, of the one who wants to be good the most (that’s also why it’s imperative you play this ending last).

💕: Tell us about one of your favorite characters and why you like them!

I have committed the grave act of hubris in answering that first category in-depth before realizing I already elaborated on my answer for this one. Oops! Oh well.

Obviously it doesn’t take much to figure out my fave of the trio but every character is really important and I don’t wanna get caught up in rambling about Jupiter knowing she seems to be most ppl’s favorite.

All of the trio have different reactions to trauma, in particular the trauma of their world in which Christian morality is the actual law of the land. Many ppl can relate to Jupiter’s need to go along with it and to “fix herself” but I find the other two equally compelling.

Neptune isn’t happy with the way things are, she’s furious, bitter and burned. It’s criminal that the writers don’t elaborate on it more, but she’s existed for this long in a system that has already judged her bad, has already decided her very existence is wrong, and to her, it’s horrific and baffling how many people are okay to sit back and accept the same. The pain she feels watching the other members of her group suffer, trying so hard to appease a system that has already discarded them. Neptune isn’t interested in offering platitudes to a system that has already tossed her to the side, deemed her bad and irredeemable. Frankly, she doesn’t even care. What hurts her, what bothers her, is seeing other people grapple with the guilt that isn’t theirs to own, to try and fix in themselves what was never a problem to begin with. It’s like seeing a friend suffer a tragedy and blame themselves every time.

And Venus, perhaps most interesting of all, also knows that. She’s aware that the system is stacked against her and everyone else, and she’s bitter about it, but she knows nothing else. She goes along with it, and all the bullying and pain and hardship that comes with it. She isn’t deluded into trying to overturn her odds and prove herself to be good like Jupiter is, she’s apathetic, she’s accepted the hand she’s been dealt. She doesn’t fight back against her bullies because she has simply accepted their abuse as a natural part of her existence. She wants more, wants better, and has glimpses of hope that it’s obtainable- perhaps if she does what she’s told, if she doesn’t complain, if she puts up with it, one day she’ll get what she wants, what she needs to survive. But she won’t, she never will. She accepts all the hardship, all the abuse, all the confusion or a world built for and around people who aren’t like her, who can’t understand her- and she does it silently hoping things may get better on their own.

All three worst girls mean so much, have such meaningful and interesting perspectives and tell such compelling stories on personal levels which are only made more powerful by their union, by their coexistence and the vague, awkward but hopeful clashing of their disparate realities, coping mechanisms and outlooks. It’s shaky, it’s difficult, but they provide for each other what they each lack- Jupiter receive permission to be enough as she is, Neptune receives validation and companionship, and Venus receives the accommodations she needs to be her authentic self, no longer hidden. It’s really powerful, for trauma survivors and the mentally ill and for LGBT+ ppl.

💎 Are there any fun facts or trivia you would like to share?

Something most ppl may know but that I almost missed is that the original demo for the game- titled “We Know the Demo”- is actually not just a shortened version of the game or anything, but a unique prequel story that fills in some more gaps in characterization and worldbuilding, which I found very valuable for my fic “The Light God Didn’t Make.”

It includes such scenes as Neptune being secretly unstoppable at dodgeball, Venus infodumping, Neptune pointing out the fact we all know that Jupiter would look cool holding a guitar, and also Venus singing. All of them iconic bits.

The demo is free off the developers’ website and functions basically the same as the game, with picking a duo of characters to interact in each scene, so it’s a great complimentary piece to play before or after, and it’s really helpful in developing a better characterization of the trio if ur looking for that.

#oops I talked for 40 minutes oh no #meme response #thesunsetbox #rambles #wktd

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wienerbarnes · 4 years ago

Text

Feel Good

Pairing: Bucky x Reader (Cheek to Cheek)

Word Count: 2,817

Warnings: lots o drinking (its new years!), mentions to being nervous/self-doubt, drunk sam wilson, perhaps some smooching idk guess u gotta read it man

A/N: ngl I have like 4 cheek to cheek one shots that I wrote yesterday instead of working on school work or art commissions so lets enjoy this before that motivation spark dies okay enjoy my two fav ppl ever

MAIN MASTERLIST | CHEEK TO CHEEK MASTERLIST

“Agent 51, stay behind, please.”

You meet Sam’s eye, confused for two reasons - this was supposed to be a quick debriefing after a mission, and he’s never called you out specifically before. You give him a nod and obligatory Yes, Captain before making eyes with Sharon, who gives you a quick smile before exiting the room with the other agents. That doesn’t give you anything. Is there already another mission? But if there was another mission, wouldn’t Sharon have stayed? Wouldn’t Bucky be here? Does it involve Bucky? Does-

“I want you to start training with the other recruits when they begin next week.” Sam informs you once the door closes behind the last person.

Oh.

This Friday is New Year’s Eve, meaning Monday begins the seven-week training led by Sergeant Barnes for wannabe Avengers Agents, before whoever remains continues on to undercover and psychological training with Sharon and other legendary retired agents of the field.

“Are you... sure?” You didn’t think there was a problem with the training you were currently doing with Sam, in fact, you thought you were doing pretty good for someone who hasn't followed a strict workout regimen in ten years. This would be the first time being around so many people with a greater chance of interacting. All of the meetings you go to have made you a little more comfortable with larger crowds, but you haven’t actually spoken to anyone.

“You know your file well?”

“Yes.”

“Then, yes, I’m sure.”

“I want you to continue your training with me on the weekends, though.” Sam adds.

Working out seven days a week? I might’ve considered prison if I knew this was a part of the deal.

“Won’t all of that all the time be hard?” You offer, suddenly scared for your biceps and hamstrings.

“Are you asking me if training to become a team member of the Avengers is hard?” Sam gives you a pointed look.

“...Right.” You stand, assuming that was all he had to tell you about.

“Also, there’s a little party Friday night. Nothing crazy, just me, Sharon, Bucky, Sharon and I are bringing some dates, maybe a few agents, but they usually go out and party. They don’t want to hang out with us more than they already have to around here.” He mentions as you reach the door.

Your hand pauses on the knob. A party. What if they pull some Carrie shit on you?

“A party?” You ask, eyebrows failing to conceal your silent fears as they tilt upward at him.

“I promise, it won’t be anything insane. I wouldn’t have mentioned it if I didn’t think it was something you could handle.” He reassures.

Friday comes sooner than you’d hoped, and your anxiety still lingers, as much as you’d hoped it’d go away by now. You glance at the time, 8:00 in the evening. This was the time Sam told you everything would more or less be starting, but that you could go whenever you wanted, if you wanted.

You’ve actually been ready for about an hour, just too scared to go to the common area where everything was taking place.

You feel like you’re a teenager again; being invited to an event where you feel as though you won’t belong. An event where you know that everyone is so drastically different than you. You wonder how you would feel if you were different; if you weren’t so fucked up with trauma. Would you be a party person? Drinking and dancing through your twenties? Hooking up with men and women, maybe even having relationships?

You’re dressed in a short lilac romper, layers of silky ruffles around the tops of your thighs, and thin straps across your shoulders that cross against your back. The neckline is a tad low, a complimenting V that you’ve filled with layers of necklaces. Nude platforms put you about two inches taller without the fear of a heel, and you’re nervously picking at your recently painted green fingernails in anticipation for what the night will bring.

It’s not too late to not go. You can just tell Sam you ended up not feeling well, tell F.R.I.D.A.Y. not to let anyone bother you. Just take all these clothes off and put on your pajamas, and we can pretend you haven’t been thinking about this night for the last three days and spent all day thinking about what you’re going to wear, how you’re going to act, reviewing your file just in case anyone asks you anything - we can just pretend you were going to be staying in the whole time.

You stand to begin slipping the straps from your shoulders, mind made up, when a knock sounds at the door.

“F.R.I.D.A.Y., who is that?” You whisper out.

“It’s Sergeant Barnes, Agent.” The A.I. relays in an equally hushed voice.

You sigh and walk over to the door before opening it a few inches.

“Hey! You look so cute! Party’s getting started, let's go!” He steps back out to the hallway, an excited smile on his face which drops when he focuses more on the frown that decorates your own face.

“What’s wrong?” He asked, immediately stepping back towards you.

“... I’m nervous.” You all but whimper out. Why do you have to be such a baby?

“Why are you nervous?” Bucky asks, his voice calm as he genuinely wants to know what’s troubling you, not an accusatory tone found in his voice.

“Because there’s going to be a lot of people, and I don’t know anyone, and I’ve never been to these kinds of parties, or at least I haven’t in, like, a decade.” You ramble, exasperated with yourself.

“Would it make you feel better if I stayed with you the whole night? Either here or down at the party?” He offers, ready to give up one of his favorite nights for you.

“Bucky, I’m not going to make you -”

“You’re not making me, I’m offering. Besides, Sam’s all over the girl he brought and Sharon’s halfway drunk with her little boyfriend; they’re not going to be much fun for me tonight.” Bucky justifies, sounding like the eldest of three having to deal with their younger siblings.

“C’mon, you’re really gonna waste a dress like that? And your hair looks all nice! And - wait a minute, are those new earrings?” Bucky butters you, showering you with compliments in a sweet tone, metal hand reaching out to touch at the earrings hanging from your ears, the small tink sounding right in your ear.

A girlish giggle escapes you at his teasing. “Alright, alright, you’ve convinced me. But you promise you don’t mind staying with me all night?”

“I promise, there’s no one else I’d rather spend the night with.”

The common area isn’t how you expected it to be; there’s definitely more people than Sam promised there’d be, but it’s not the thousands of strangers you’d imagined in your head.

“Let’s get a drink,” Bucky’s deep voice speaks in your ear, and you’re not sure if it's his voice that makes you shiver or his warm hand in yours, but the two of you make your way to the bar.

“What do you drink?” He asks you, after ordering the name of some drink for himself.

“Uhm - I don’t, I don’t know.” You mutter to him. He scans your face for a second before rattling off the name of some other drink to the person behind the bar.

You never really drank; sure, you had the shitty beer as a teenager or perhaps a celebratory shot during your time in the Navy, but nothing you remember explicitly. You weren’t even old enough to drink in the Navy, you had turned twenty-one when you were already with HYDRA.

“Are you excited?” Bucky interrupts your thoughts of lost childhood.

“Excited?”

“For the New Year!” Bucky exclaims, and you give him a smile even if you don't understand the hoop-lah.

“Sure?” You offer.

“C’mon! There’s so much opportunity and promise that comes with a new year! A million chances to grow, to experience things, to learn, to have fun. A new chapter for everyone.” He explains.

You smile at his positivity. A new year should be good for you based on his logic. A new chapter. You’d be starting your training. Getting ahead as an agent. Using your powers to help for good. Maybe making friends. Maybe getting closer to Bucky.

The drinks arrive and you appreciate that Bucky knows you so well; the drink in front of you is bright pink, different fruits crowded around the rim with a curly straw sticking out. His is a deeper brown, in a short, crystal glass, figures. Matches his whole dark and emo aesthetic. He stands before you in black jeans and a black buttoned shirt, black leather jacket to sit on top.

You take a sip of your drink and immediately have to slap a hand over your mouth to keep from spitting it out. Am I that much of a lightweight or is there actual gasoline in this?

“Sorry, maybe I should’ve warned you, babe,” Bucky chuckles, amused at your reaction to a mixed drink. “I think there’s, like, four different things in that.” He wants to cringe for you, but all he can do is look at you with a cheeky smile while you struggle to swallow the sip down.

“Christ, Bucky, I’ll blackout by ten at this rate, are all of the drinks like this?”

“Honestly? Probably. Everyone loves getting drunk on New Year’s.”

…

The night is not nearly as bad as you were thinking it was going to be. The room is lit up in different colored lights and screens; all of the TV’s display the annual countdown in Times Square but are muted so that music can be played the whole night. People are dancing, drinking, laughing, having the most fun you’ve seen people have in a long time. It’s 11:51 now, and everyone’s gathering closer and closer in anticipation for the countdown into the new year.

You and Bucky are gathered together with Sam and Sharon, and their respective dates. You don’t think you’ll let Sam live down how drunk he is; you never thought you’d feel so much joy seeing your Captain slurring his words while making jokes and telling stories.

Sharon leans over to you and whispers, a gentle hand on your arm, “Can you come to the bathroom with me?” A small giggle escaping her because she, too, is equally drunk. You give her a nod and hand your drink to Bucky to watch over while you’re gone.

The bathroom makes your ears buzz with the silence you encounter and Sharon walks over to the mirror to retouch her makeup.

“I just needed a little breather, have you tried the drinks at the bar?” She asks, and you laugh knowing that that’s the reason she, and everyone else at the party, is wasted.

“Yeah, Bucky proceeded to warn me after I had started drinking.” Laughs are shared as she reapplies her lipstick, a bright red shade.

“Do you know who you’re gonna kiss tonight?” She asks, smirk playing on her lips.

Shit, I forgot about that. How awkward would it be if you’re the only one not having a partner to kiss at midnight? Don’t worry, plenty of lame, single, psychotic basket cases that hear voices don’t kiss people on New Year’s Eve!

“Oh, uhm, I probably won’t be kissing anybody.” You inform her with a nervous laugh.

“I think you should kiss Bucky.” She states matter-of-factly.

“Huh?”

“Yeah, why not? He’s not here with a date and he surely won’t kiss a stranger. I think last year Sam ended up planting one on him at midnight.” She laughs, a few hiccups interrupting her as she remembers that night.

As much as you want to join her in laughing at the thought of Sam drunkenly grabbing Bucky cheeks at midnight and smooching him, a pit opens up in your stomach at the thought of kissing Bucky.

“C’mon, T-minus five minutes.” Sharon tells you, interlocking her fingers with yours as she drags you back out to the common room.

The two of you rejoin the group and Bucky hands you your drink back, though you don’t feel much like drinking anymore, stomach suddenly knotted up with nerves. You’re torn because you don’t necessarily have a problem not kissing anybody, but now all you can think about is the urge to press your lips against Bucky’s, new year or not.

A husky voice whispers in your ear, “You okay? You look a little pale, you wanna head up to your room?” Bucky looks at you with concerned eyes, willing to go up to your room two minutes before midnight to ensure your comfort and wellbeing.

“I’m… I’m fine.” You reassure him, giving him the most unconvincing smile ever, even you wouldn’t believe you. He silently pulls you away from the group and pulls you into a hallway.

“Talk to me, sweetheart.”

His pet names are, for once, not helping right now.

You take a large gulp of your drink, stinging a bit, but hopefully it’ll give you some courage and relax you a bit. Bucky chuckles and gently takes the glass from your hand, “Hey,”

“I’m fine, just have some jitters, is all.” You try and convince.

You take the drink back and grab his hand with your open one and take him back out to the open area, a sixty second countdown already starting.

You quickly down the rest of your drink and discard it on a nearby table as the entire room begins chanting. Sam is the loudest, one arm wrapped around the waist of his date and the other wrapped around Bucky’s shoulders. Bucky’s smiling at his enthusiasm, yelling the numbers just as loud as he wraps an arm around your shoulders to bring you in closer to the group. Sharon is on the other side of you, but her focus is on her date as they look into each other’s eyes, just waiting for the clock to strike twelve so they can share a kiss.

The ball drops on the TV and the room erupts in cheers and “Happy New Year!”’s. Sam unhooks himself from Bucky and turns to grab his date's face as they share a laugh-filled kiss. You glance at Sharon and you suspect her and her date began sharing kisses a few seconds early. Bucky’s arm is still wrapped around your shoulders and he tugs you closer so you’re face to face.

His grin is wide, “Happy New Year -”

His excitement is interrupted as your courage finally kicks in, and with a hand on either side of his face, you pull him in and press your lips to his.

It takes him less than two seconds to reciprocate, dropping his hands to your waist and pulling you closer as your hands slide from his cheeks to his neck, wrapping themselves around.

There’s no more anxiety. No more nerves. No more doubts or second-thoughts. No more voices, no more people in the room, no more music; it’s just you and Bucky in that moment.

His lips are soft and sweet, a strong taste of the drinks he’s had tonight with a mix of sweetness that’s all him. He smells like man and like Bucky and your senses are overwhelmed in the best way possible. Tingles travel down your spine at the feeling of being so close to him.

You’re so, so, so good. Sure, Bucky’s imagined kissing you, but he never thought it’d feel like this. You’re sweet like cherries and you’re soft all over and your perfume is flooding his nose and it’s all he wants to breathe for the rest of time. Your skin sends sparks of fire through his fingertips as they rest on your bare back and slide down to your silk-covered waist.

You pull away and Bucky sneaks a few extra pecks before pulling away completely, not removing his eyes from yours.

“Happy New Year.” He wishes you with a love-sick smile.

“Happy New -”

“Happy New Year, Tinman!” Sam yelps in both of your ears, arms wrapping around Bucky and disconnecting him from you, but you can’t help but laugh at Sam trying to plant a kiss on Bucky’s cheek while he attempts to wrestle him off.

You feel electricity all over watching him, butterflies not only in your stomach, but all over your body, in every organ, in your bloodstream, in your head, everywhere. But as much as you feel as though you’ve been struck by lightning, you feel good; you feel really good.

A few months ago, you wouldn't have imagined that this is how you were going to be starting the new year. But here you are, and you feel good.

#bucky barnes #Bucky Barnes x reader #Bucky Barnes one shot #Bucky Barnes fan fiction #marvel #marvel fan fiction #he he kissy kissy #you know those tik toks of people kissing their best friends with electric love playing in the background #that was reader and bucky #so ~magical~

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themonotonysyndrome · 4 years ago

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I know you have plans for the winter break already but what if in that time nothing bad happens and the boys invited the girls to their homelands?

Sayaka’s invited by Deuce to go meet his mother as his closest friends (both totally obvious that everyone sees it as guy invites his girlfriend to his mom for the first time). It’d be so wholesome, with Deuce’mom lightly teases them but very grateful that her son managed to befriend a good girl like Sayaka. And since they’re in the Rose Country, they can go meet Ace and the others!

Kyoko probably goes with Ruggie. He’s self-conscious about his poor neighborhood but after all the time they spent together, relating to each other’s hardships they are more comfortable with one another. She’d get along well with everyone there, especially the kids even if she acts grumpy and denies that she cares about them. The sight of everyone in the poor but close-knited community leaves her with a bittersweet feeling as she remembers her family. But hearing Ruggie’s grandma says that if she doesn’t mind she’s welcome to visit them anytime aling with the neighbor kids cheerfully chirping that they want to see nee-chan again warms her heart

(Oohh what if she decides to stay??)

Homura goes with Kalim and Jamil to the Country of Hot Sands, meeting both of them families. She can’t help but feel uncomfortable with how many ppl there are, and she keeps her guard up even more knowing that Kalim’s life could be targeted at any time. Still, witnessing Kalim being a big brother to his siblings (it’s clear that they love him a lot, even if their own mothers want him out of the picture) and how Jamil’s family being more reserved yet clearly shows that they deeply care for him is heartwarming. She’s grateful that they treat her as a precious friend of their sons. For once in her life, she’s able to understand what family love is like. (Kalim’s dad secretly welcomes the idea of having Homura as Kalim’s wife)

Even though Mami is closer to Vil and Rook, I see her going to Epel’s village, partly because we know very little about Vil’s family and nothing about Rook’s. Although she and him are the only teens around, Mami enjoys the peaceful atmosphere and how caring the people there are. Plus watching him freely being himself and being obviously happy around his family brings a smile to her face. It reminds her of her own parents and for a moment she has a solemn expression before snapping out of it to join in the fun with everyone. Even if her duty as Magical Girl will keep her to find a way back, she’s going to cherish all the memories and all the friends she made here in Twisted Wonderland

Madoka would be so out of place in the Valley of Thorns. She’s most likely be the only human there and will be faced with many looks, but Lilia and the others will be by her side no matter what. And even though it’s nerve wrecking to be so far away from her friends the experience of visiting the Diasomnia’s homeland soon fills her with wonder. Once she shows her magic everyone slowly starts to be more welcoming to her.

Let’s give these girls more happiness! I love the idea that the boys bring the girls that sorted into their dorm to their homelands & meet their families! Let’s do this.

Sayaka would feel a little awkward at first. I mean, a guy has never invited her to meet his family and homeland before! (Kyousuke doesn’t count here). It’ll be funny that both her and Sayaka doesn’t think too much about the invitation, just good friends, right? Everyone else will be like, “Ah, young love! One day these oblivious idiots will realise it, no worries!” Deuce’s mom would definitely be delighted over Sayaka and adores her! She believes that she’s a good girl and friend to her son and if those two combined? She hopes they can continue to support one another. After hanging out with Deuce’s mom and helping out around the house because Sayaka would insist it, they would go out to hang out with Ace and the rest of the Heartslabyul gang too! Cater would probably drop by at the Rose Kingdom too. Sayaka would want to keep close to Riddle in case his mother did anything to him. And for that lady’s sake? Riddle is gonna be a lot more outspoken and independent from his mother lest Sayaka decides to ‘save’ her too.

Ruggie had sheepishly and hesitantly offer Kyouko if she would like to come home with him during the Winter Break. Kyouko, at first, doesn’t understand why he’s so self-conscious about it until he brought her to the slums and poor neighbourhood. He worries if it’ll put her off, but to his immense relief and pleasant surprise, Kyouko feels at ease. Right at home, in fact. He would internally chastise himself, he remembers that Kyouko used to live on the streets back where she comes from after the death of her family. You bet this girl gets along well everyone in Ruggie’s home. Despite the environment, Kyouko would quietly yet fiercely thanked him for bringing her to meet his grandma and the close-knitted community he lives with. For now, it’s alright to bask in this warm feeling of having a family again. And you know what? These two would also happily accept Leona offers to meet with him in his palace. He’d grumbled about their noisy presence but compared to dealing with the judgemental servants and annoying family members, Leona enjoys having them with him. Kyouko wonders if Jack would like to hang out with them too.

(wouldn’t it be nice if Kyouko, Mami and even Sayaka will be hesitant to go back to Mitakihara City? They found love, family and acceptance in Twisted Wonderland with these boys. Madoka would be torn about at this point, Lilia has become her second Dad in all but blood and name. And Homura? This is perfect for her; so bittersweet. She would rather have the other girls live her while she goes back to Mitakihara City. Let her deal with Kyuubey & Walpurgisnacht. She’ll gladly face the nightmares if it means Madoka and everyone else can live happily. PS: I was listening to Jungkook’s Still With You so kudos for making myself sad).

At first, Homura is very reluctant to be separated from Madoka. It took not only Madoka & Lilia’s constant assurance that she’ll be safe and sound but also Malleus in a staring competition with Homura that ended with, “Do you look down on my power and capabilities to keep the Fairy safe?” Cue Sebek spluttering and shrieking in the background, being restrained by an exasperated Silver, at how Homura is underestimating his young master. In the end, she takes up on Kalim’s invitation to the Land of Hot Sands. She’s gotten used to the weather, clothes and culture practice in Scarabia, so adapting to the Land of Hot Sands is not a problem for her. But yes, she definitely feels uncomfortable with how large the Al-Asim family is! Her guards are constantly up despite the warm welcome she receives; she makes sure to be polite though, after all, she is a guest in their home?? Manor?? Palace?? Yeah. She’s cautious and friendly to his Dad, his mother and the other wives but a bit more relax towards Kalim’s siblings. Even the older ones. I feel that she’s patient to their questions and invitations to play. Homura also takes the time to visit Jamil and his reserved family. She never bothered by status before so like Sayaka, she would offer her help around their house too. All in all, I think both families would thank her for looking out for their sons. It’ll be funny if the night before they went back to NRC, Kalim’s dad pull him aside, telling him he approves if he wants to make Homura his wife. We don’t know if Homura even has a family in the anime so it’s a nice to experience what being in a family feels like. (Let’s just hope neither family ever discover the extent she would do to bring back a dead Kalim, yes?).

Oh! Oh! I think that’s a good idea! Having Epel inviting Mami to the Village of Harvest. Mami portrays herself as a high-class, sort of noble lady with her fancy teas, ladylike-behaviour and expensive looking apartment, but you know? She’s more than happy to help him around the farm! The serene and quiet atmosphere is a breath of fresh air to her. She’s charming the old ladies and gentlemen left and right with her beautiful smiles and sweet demeanour! Mami would giggle and keep it herself that it’s nice to see Epel slip back to his country accent and let loose without having to worry about Vil breathing down his neck. His family are so welcoming of her that she’s super touched and thanked Epel for bringing her to his home. I want Vil to often call Mami to ask if Epel is treating her right and that would lead him asking her to pass the phone to him and poor Epel complaining that even back home, he can’t run away from Vil! What is this nightmare!? Rook would just one day randomly appear without warning, scaring Mami and Epel.

If Madoka stands out in Diasomnia, she will definitely look out of place in Malleus’ castle and the Valley of Thorns! The only human around dark Faes, bright pink against black, a sweet thing among reserved and secretive society. I think Malleus’ castle would only be filled with those who he truly trust so she can roam around without worry, though whispers and gossips will sure travel across the land that their Prince finally brought a friend home! And a human, too! Cue of the castle staffs, guards and etc wondering about Madoka. She’ll ease into the scrutiny with Lilia and Silver besides her. As for Malleus? He’s just super excited to show her around, have sleepovers and etc. So precious!

#twisted wonderland #puella magi madoka magica #Puella Magi Holy Quintet #Holy Quintet in TW series #crossover

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imaginethathaikyuu · 4 years ago

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How did I find your blog? I was looking for soft Kuroo content on google. And your soft birthday hc’s for him came up. And that’s also how I found tumblr

What was the first story of yours that I read? That Kuroo piece ^

Roughly, how long have I been following this blog? Well I found that piece shortly after it was posted so…. Around the beginning of December 2019 I think. Got a tumblr a few months later and you were the first person I followed (had you in my bookmarks bar before that! (still have you in my bookmarks bar and when I share my screen in classes there are occasionally questions. I ignore them))

What’s something I’ve noticed about you personality wise? You’re really clever and funny. But you’re also sweet. But because you’re clever you have no hesitation in setting up and enforcing your boundaries, and I really admire that strength and confidence.

Have we ever interacted, either by PM, ask, or in the comments? What was my perception of you? YES!!! PM, SOOOOO many asks, comments, and you sent me an ask. And reblogged it. And I cried. A lot. My perception: you’re lovely and I want to h*ld your h*nd ….please.

What’s my favorite story of yours? Oh how to choose. Firstly, I’m a nb, biracial, bisexual. Honey, I’ve never made a choice in my life. But let’s try here. Anything you’ve written for Tsukki. Literally all of it is gold. Fight me. I was going to write “especially [piece title]” but I LITERALLY CANNOT CHOOSE ONE. Your Bokuto nightmare piece. Your Kuroo angsty fight. Your Tendou dealing with S/O with parents who yell piece. Your Kinktobers. Your Futakuchi and Mattsun pieces. And your Terushima pieces. Ugh. I CANNOT CHOOSE. OH AND YOUR STREAMER KENMA!!!!!! OKay just… all of it. I can’t choose. I tried, and I failed, and I’m willing to admit failure.

What’s a story I’d love to see you write? I don’t want to say this… because it hurts me… but I just KNOW you’d write brilliant angst. Some of my fav pieces of yours are pained beginnings with happy endings. That fight with Tsukki after a bad day at work. The pieces I mentioned above (nightmare pieces and fighting pieces and angsty home life ha.. ha.ha.ha.). That Oikawa one where the reader wakes up in bed without him and thinks he left. You write these gorgeous atmospheres and descriptive, visceral feelings, and if you chose to use it for evil…. You could get evil shit done. You’re SO powerful. So I want to read it… but also…. I don’t. I’d love to see you write ABO like you mentioned a while back or just see you explore a cutesy soulmate AU or something. I think you’d be really good at writing an AU where you hear what the other person’s listening too. I feel like you’d be so good at making me feel something for someone who was in another city. (think this would be cute with Tsukki cos he’s headphones boy, OR terushima because I like the dynamic of someone flirty, who clearly cares about looks, falling for someone he can’t see) ANYWAY….

Favorite pairing you write for?/fav reader insert? Tsukishima x reader. It’s my fav self-ship. (but also Mattsun, Bokuto, Oikawa, Tanaka, and Akaashi because you write them SO WELL!!!!)

Have any of your stories helped me through a hard time? Of course. Your self-harm piece came at a time I needed it. Iwaizumi’s in particular saved my life. But also your Tendou dealing with S/O parents who fight… came right when I needed it. Also starting college… was hard.. And reading and rereading your fluff really pulled me through it.

Have any of your stories hit closer to home? YES (see above).

Do I genuinely like your blog, it’s aesthetic or posts? It’s overall feel? It’s content? Yes. The aesthetic is, ngl, a wee bit basic. But I kinda love that. And the feel? It feels like home. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Your blog is my safe space. So, yes, I love. It’s content? YES. OF COURSE. Your personality probably could have kept me here even if your content was kinda shit, but I follow you RELIGIOUSLY because of your content. So yes. I adore.

Is English my first language? Kinda??? I grew up in a trilingual household so I kinda learned three languages at the same time while growing up. But no, I don’t need to translate it in my head. Because English was one of the three.

Anything I want to share? Yes. Please keep being kind to yourself, caring for your mental health, enforcing your boundaries, loving Akaashi, and just generally being you. You’re so lovely as you are, and I hope you continue grow, but never change. Also I’m sorry about all your work stuff…. It literally makes me feel sick. And I hope you find a job where that’s not tolerated, or that your work finds a better way of protecting it’s employees. I know you know this, but none of it is your fault. I just hope things improve. AND I love you… a lot. And I’m so proud of you hitting 9K and you deserve so many more followers because your pieces are just... GORGEOUS. I can’t wait until I’m at Barnes and Noble in a few years and I can pick up a hardback copy of your debut novel. I’m so excited to say “I knew Em Akaashi (which is your legal name as far as I’m concerned) before she was so popular among the masses.”

so ive been trying to figure out the correct and worthy way to reply to this ask since the moment i got it......because its so fucking sweet and kind and amazing and pure and perfect and i just dont know how to use WORDS to explain the way it makes me feel so.......i will just reply in bullet points in regards to every question u answered to make it a lil easier :D

- the fact that u found my blog on google ....... like this may be odd and a very specific thing but before i made this blog i always hoped that 1 day my fanfic would pop up in google searches bc thats ALWAYS how i found fics when i was reading them religiously and i felt so much ENVY!!!!! LIKE I WANTED TO BE THERE I WANTED MY FICS TO B POPULAR ENOUGH TO POP UP ON GOOGLE.....that may sound very selfish but its true......so thats just very cool to me... :]

- u’ve been here for so long omg 🥺🥺🥺🥺 if anyone in ur classes ever asks jus promo my blog like its nbd

- thats so sweet what 🥺🥺🥺 i try my best to advocate for myself and be confident for myself.....ive spent far too much of my time being silently uncomfortable because i was afraid of pushing someone’s buttons seeming rude.....but NO MORE!!!! i know what upsets me, i know my triggers, i know what i dislike experiencing, and im never gonna let myself be anxious or uncomfortable for someone else’s sake, esp if theyre being rude 2 me. i would say its less strength and confidence and moreso me attempting to take control of my anxiety in the places i can (aka on the Internet) bc i am SICK OF ANXIETY ATTACKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- BBY no dont CRY!!!! im racking my brain trying to think of who u are i wanna know so bad so i can thank u personally for being the kindest person in the world n so i can send u more asks >:(........MY HAND IS URS TO HOLD!!!!! dont tell akaashi tho

- OMG my TSUKKI pieces.....hes so hard to write why ;-; thank u so much im so glad u enjoy my works<3333

- NOT ANGST NOT LIKE THIS!!!!!!!!! pained beginnings to happy endings are my specialty.....IMAGINE me writing a sad ending like i CANT!!!!!!!!! ive only done it a few times and it is so Difficult.....YALL ARE SO LUCKY IM NOT EVIL!!!!!! ive had this idea for an angsty akaashi fic that i think about and write in my head every night before falling asleep and it Hurts and i wanna write it but i also can’t make myself :D ABO would be very fun but i genuinely do not know how to explore the concept while making it feel like it’s Written By Me.....u know what i mean? same with soulmate aus, i really dislike writing them because theyre just boring to me like they all feel the same everything’s been done for them.....which is FINE!!! but i write enough cliche stuff as it is HAHA, a long distance type soulmate au could be fun and interesting but ldr’s trigger me bc of a past relationship so </3 but hey maybe someone else could use the idea!!!!!

- gotta love tsukishima <3

- im rlly glad my writing could be there for you friend, one of the biggest reasons i write fanfic (and write the kind of fics i write) is bc i know firsthand how much reading sweet stories abt ur comfort characters can help u through the shittiest times - i just wanna offer ppl some support and happy feelings and love cuz sometimes fanfic is the only time we can find those things (and theres nothing shameful abt that either if anyone bullies u for reading fanfic i will fight them)

- I KNOW MY LAYOUT IS LAZY AND BASIC AS FUCK AND THAT IS BECAUSE I DO NOT GIVE A SHIT LMAOOOO so im glad u think its ok...... like i dont have the patience to create a fancy ass layout that actually works are u KIDDING ME??????? I COULD LITERALLY NEVER plus i kinda like that its just the basic kinda ugly boring default layout like it makes it simple and easy and i feel like it brings focus to the only thing on this blog that i care about which is my writing, i rlly only care about the content here and not aesthetics jdbljdabsdk that blue background will be there til i Die......i adore u more btw

- WHOA trilingual what the hell ur so cool tell me more

- you have my word, friend, that i will continue to do all of that so long as you do the same. take care of yourself, be kind to yourself - i know u can do it, ur so kind to others and u deserve to be kind to urself, too so this is the part that genuinely brought me to tears because *sappy dumb shit ahead* ok look ever since i can remember the one and only thing ive wanted to do with my life is become an author ...... dreams of book covers with my name written on them and words in pages written by me and fanart of my characters and going into my local bookstore n seeing my book there....these thoughts all haunt my fucking brain because i want it SO BAD!!!!!!!! so bad that it makes me CRY!!!!!!!! ive never wanted something more and just!!!!!!!!!!!! idk how much u meant that part but holy fuck!!!!!! i hope so bad that one day i can send u a free copy of my book as a thank u for being the person u are. u have all my love friend, every last bit of it <333333333

#ily<3 #long post

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mha-adore · 4 years ago

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hey! ty sm for doing the matchup exchange with me, i look forward to writing your match! i’m rita and i go by she/her pronouns. i have a preference for men & i’m 16. my quirk would be similar to shinso & inumaki from jjk,, i can control ppl and animals just by saying a command,,, an indicator for when i’m using my quirk would be my eyes changing color & a side effect to using my quirk would be getting light headed.

i’m a libra sun, aquarius moon, & leo rising. a slytherin & intj-t. i’m v polite and reserved when you first meet me. i’m pretty introverted and i have anxiety. it takes me while to open up since it takes me a while to trust ppl. i do tend to get annoyed and angry by others easily,, i’m a bit of a hot head. i’m pretty chill and like joking around once i open up,, i can also be kinda dumb. i’m a bit of a loner and i don’t have many friends. i’m actually a bit of an emotional person but only when it comes to shows, movies, books, etc,, i tend to keep my emotions bottled up. i’m self conscious and self critical. i care a lot about having perfect grades and getting into a good university but i’m so lazy (lots of breaks & procrastination) at the same time,, i end up getting everything done on time though. i’m impatient when it comes to my own things so i like doing things my way bc i feel more comfortable that way. i also like keeping things neat. i’ve also been told i have a resting sad face & that i’m intimidating. i wear a lot of black and i’d describe my style as dark academia mixed with 70s-90s fashion. when i’m at home i just wear comfortable clothing like pajama pants and a t-shirt.

my likes/hobbies/interests are baking, playing the sims, writing, and playing board games with ppl i’m close to. i also like relaxing in bed and spending time with people i’m close to and having fun. i’m interested in psychology, true crime, & history. i don’t like arrogant & closed minded people. i look for a partner who is loyal, kind, & open-minded. my love languages are gifts and quality time (both ways).

i hope this isn’t too much,, ty again! <3

Hey friend, it's my pleasure! Thanks sm for offering 💖

Can I just say super quick that your quirk is really cool? You could command an army of bears, raccoons or fire ants. I would be terrified. Also I'm an Aquarius moon and INTJ too, air moons gotta stay together. I totally got a Libra vibe off you when you first messaged me and you're super sweet 🎀 also I totally get you on the anxiety part, I have anxiety too. I know how terrifying it can be to reach out to new people so please know I'm proud of you for taking the chance to reach out to me 😊 and it's never too much; the more detail the better!

I match you with Shoto!

Say hi to the walking AC and heater unit. A couple reasons I picked him is because you mentioned having anxiety and being hot headed. With his father being, well, himself and his mother being the anxious person she is, Shoto understands both sides of the coin very well and knows how to deal with both parts. He can balance being calm and stern at the same time and he has the patience of a saint. He would give you the time and space you need to grow comfortable around new people and surroundings, as well he would be able to keep you grounded when your temper gets the best of you. He mellows you out. My personal headcanon is that he's a Capricorn sun, Scorpio moon, Virgo rising, Ravenclaw and INFP.

He returns your jokes with dry humor. He can keep a dead serious face while making the stupidest jokes too. He could look you dead in the eye, face straight, and rip a monster fart and not giggle just to see your reaction. Honestly the image of him holding eye contact while aggressively farting is funny in my head. I know I have the humor of a 9 year old.

He isn't bothered by you not having many friends. He's a private person and doesn't want a lot of people up in his business. He prefers few close friends over many distant friends. He knows you aren't stupid and pays no attention to anything you say that may sound dumb. He's heard so much dumb shit he learned to filter it from his brain.

He understands that you're closed off on your emotions. He really can't blame you, he's quite the same. If you get a little teary eyed over a book or movie he'll let you talk it out and cry if you'd like, but he won't push you to be uncomfortably open to him. He values your happiness over his own and doesn't mind you keeping your feelings to yourself. He respects your privacy. Regardless of what you may feel conscious or critical of about yourself he's there to remind you that you're perfect. You're healthy, you're strong and you're doing the best you can. No one could ask any more from you. He's lived a majority of his life feeling outcasted and ignored because of his scar and wouldn't wish the same on anyone, so if there's any part of you that you feel bad about he's always reminding you that you have no imperfections, everything about you makes you one of a kind. You're irreplicable.

He isn't worried about you procrastinating on studying or homework. As long as you get it done and do well enough he isn't concerned. If you ever have difficulty with a subject he's happy to help you study and learn. If you want he can ask Momo to join for a study party if you want the extra help or company. He just wants to see you succeed and get into the college of your cotton candy dreams. Oh and don't worry about your tuition, he has it covered. Don't even mention it to him it'll already be paid off, including books and living arrangements. He only wants you to pay him back by doing your best in school and showing him you can handle the hard work.

He always has a suggestion on ways you can do things but he knows you prefer to do them by yourself, so he'll neber bombard you with his ideas. If you ask for his input he has plenty to give but otherwise he gives you the room to make your own moves. He's a neat freak himself and is always happy to help you keep your room clean and well put together. He has good room decor ideas too if you want to spruce up your room.

He really doesn't see you as intimidating. He sees a confident, independent and strong young woman who can hold her own. He occasionally wonders if you're really sad or if that's just your expression and he'll occasionally ask. He's only making sure you're okay. If you're sad he's on it with a cute or funny movie, some snacks, a shoulder to cry on and a whole night's worth of stuff to talk about.

He likes your sense of fashion, he enjoys darker and warmer colors. He lives for the 80s aesthetic and loves to see you mix the two so effortlessly. He can, wants to and will give you his t shirts to wear at home. He'll also loan you hoodies and sweaters. He won't outright buy you a hoodie, he'll buy one for himself and let you get away with stealing it from him.

He's so soft for home made cookies and would love for you to make him some. Home made dinners are also great. He would love to help you bake and would enjoy baking dates. He'll also watch shows like Hell's Kitchen with you. He isn't exactly a huge gamer but he likes simulation games and RPGs like Sims, Animal Crossing, Pokemon, Harvest Moon etc. He'll binge these games with you all day and night. Your Sims have to get married to each other it's the law. He enjoys reading what you write - what you don't mind sharing of course. He won't go peeking in your personal writing, he knows it isn't his place. Concerning what you do share he'll read it with great interest and share his thoughts and any ideas he has. He would really enjoy writing something with you, like a short story or a comic. He loves how you convey your writing and would be honored to take part in it. His favorite board game is Candy Land, a close second being Monopoly, followed by Scrabble. He pulls out a big ass dictionary during Scrabble just to prove to people that he knows his vocabulary. He loves you dearly but all bets are off during Monopoly, it's a dog eat dog world and he isn't bailing you out of jail. He will, however, offer you real money in turn for properties in the game. No that isn't cheating the rules say nothing about it. He has no problem with a lazy day in bed though and wouldn't mind just dozing or watching shows together. Any time spent with you is time spent well. You two could watch paint dry together and he would have a blast. He'll buy the paint.

With his personal involvment in hero work he has lots of info on true crime cases and can share stories and books with you. He has everything from small robberies to Ted Bundy and beyond. If you have a question about a true crime case he has an answer. As for psychology I imagine he would study it himself, perhaps as a secondary career or freelance hobby. He'll examine characters from books and movies with you and run his own behavioral analysis unit from his bedroom. The FBI doesn't hold a candle to him. He can, will and already has tracked down your enemies and he has their addresses. With his father being the new number one hero he essentially has the force of the law in his hands and if need be, he will use it. He won't do anything unjust unless your safety is in jeopardy but he won't hesitate to bring someone down. As for history he has plenty of books ranging from founding of countries to wars, to major technological advancements to the invention of toilet paper. He knows some very niche history facts. If you need to impress a teacher with knowledge on history he has you covered. He'll make the teacher quit their job in shame.

Shoto is absolutely loyal to the end, open minded and kind to a fault. He understands how it's like to be ignored, misunderstood and bullied and he won't treat anyone else that way. Regardless of his opinion on someone he still gives them respect and kindness. He doesn't care how rude or petty someone acts, they're still a human and deserve to be treated as such.

He goes out of his way to buy you special gifts, he values personal meaning over monetary value. Between a basic cheap necklace and an expensive bracelet of your favorite gemstone and color, you bet he's going for the bracelet. The cost isn't important to him, he just wants to see your face light up when you open the gift. As for gifts from you he doesn't care about how much you spent, he just wants something from the heart. You could give him an origami swan that cost you nothing to make and he would treasure it like a rare antique. As for quality time, he always enjoys a good movie, board game, cuddle session or just a nap. Like I mentioned before, any time spent together is time spent well.

I hope you enjoyed this friend!! 🥀 I'll be sending my part your way soon, thanks again for the offer! I had a lot of fun with this one 😘

#iidastiddies #mha x reader #bnha x reader #matchup #mha matchup #bnha matchup #matchup exchange #shoto #todoroki #shoto todoroki #todoroki shoto #todoroki x reader #shoto x reader #shoto todoroki x reader #todoroki shoto x reader

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tellywoodtrash · 4 years ago

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immj2 02.11.20 lb

this fucking episode my dudes. i just went through it like...

business maharani is doing some more bitchification of bhaabi, ki dekho phir nikal gayi aapke peeche. even used the same lameass mandir excuse, the idiot, instead of coming up with something new.

hubs like riddhima is a major pain in the ass, but she's MY PAIN IN THE ASS, where isss sheeee, why isn't she back yet???????? is she ok????????????

ishani getting a call about someone in the hospital and......

bitch, it's her friend who's in the hospital. why the fuck would anyone call ISHANI of all people if riddhima was in the hospital????

lo aa gayi.

gujarat registration gaadi waale bhaiyya was a careful driver. unlike literally everyone else on tellywood. good for him.

concern!maxxxxxxxxxxx about her haalat.

asks about her bleeding hand and she's like i'll tell you if you tell me about how YOUR hand got hurt. noice.

again, rrahul's not putting on the vansh voice in this scene and it's 300% more watchable. for the love of god stop directing him in a way that impedes his performance!!!!!!! LET THE MAN MOVE HIS FACE AND TALK IN HIS NORMAL VOICE!!!!!!!!!!!

cliche dialogue about “shareer ke ghaav jaldi bhar jaate hain par dil ke ghaav..........”

this asshole is like yeah who would know that better than me???? BITCH WHAT IS THIS, THE TRAUMA OLYMPICS???

she's thinking ki yeah, i'm not gonna fall for your fakeass parwaah anymore. good. i like. she needed this stupidass illusion of her's broken longggggggggg back.

ohohohohoho ib waala mangalsutra breaking and slipping off trope idhar bhi hai.

“tooti hui cheezein kabhi kabhi dobara nahi judti.”

dialogue maarke chali gayi, lol.

but notice she's the one who caught it anyway. which makes me think she's gonna choose him/this relationship YET AGAIN. *deeeeeeeepest sigh in the world that sucks up all the oxygen in the atmosphere*

“jaise mera dil.”

OHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOH.

“lekin ab waqt aa gaya hai bohut se cheezon ko sahi karne ka.”

again, he looks menacing and all, but is probably just talking about making sure all the paperwork is up to date for upcoming end of year audits. he's a very rich accountant, remember???

ragini's medical reports have come.

lol being married to ishani is taking yearssssssss off angre's lifespan. roz naya tension, naya drama.

also, angre refers to vansh as "vansh bhai" when talking about him to ishani, but calls him "boss" when referring directly. interesting. veryyyyyyyyyyyyyyy interesting. you guys need to sort out that relationship, my dudes. it's the only stable, healthy one in this whole damn show.

ishani is like you're his right hand, what the hell are you doing about riddhima spying on him and getting all up in his business???????? dang, this might be the first conversation they're having about their only common interest: vansh's well being.

also i notice ki shivaay ke saare shirts angre ko diye gaye hain. huh, the shirts must have a kanji eyed wearer clause in their contract.

“mujhe shakti dijiye ke main apne emotions se upar uthke sahi ke saath khadi rahoon.”

damn, first time i've had a lil respect for riddhima. i mean, i know ultimately it's all gonna go to shit, but she's trying.

lmao a dhaarmik aarti version of the title track is playing. a version for every situation!

“main ragini ko bacha ke rahoongi. yeh mera aapse, ragini se, aur apne aap se vaada hai.”

YESSSSSSSSSSS BITCH, SISTERS OVER MURDEROUS MISTERS!!!!!!!!!!!

OMG WHY WON'T Y'ALL JUST DRESS HIM LIKE THIS, LIKE ARNAV, WITH THE SHIRT AND SWEATER COMBOOOOOOOOOOOOO. PLS GODDDDDDDDDDDD STOP DRESSING HIM WITH THAT STUPID SCARF WAALA BLAZERRRRRRRRRRRRR I BEG OF YOUUUUUUUUUU

he's talking to some shadow (def a woman) about how they're his humraaz about the whole ragini issue and nothing is hidden from them and how everything is going as they planned and the story will end soon.

it might be siya but omg i hope to goddddddddddddd it's ishani. i really really reallly want it to be ishani and see the hot demon siblings do some scheming and planning together. the sibs that conspire together, stay together!!!!!!!!!

menacing growling about riddhima and how he needs shadow chick's help in "handling" her, so that she doesn’t leave the house.

“chaahe VR mansion uske liye jail bann jaaye, i don't care.” cool, real healthy. also copied from this week's naagin 5. i'm telling you, these two shows be copying their homework off each other.

vansh leaning real hard on how he trusting shadow chick. hmmmm. reallyyyy hope it's ishani. though can’t say i wouldn’t be delighted if siya also turns out to be just as fucking twisted as him.

ofc ms. snoopy here has come to snoop. SIS TUM THAK NAHI JAATI KYA ISS SAB SE. MUJHE TOH DEKHTE HI THAKAAN HO GAYI HAI AND I NEEDS ME SOME GLUCON D.

“ragini riddhima se jeete-jee milna toh door, usse dekh bhi na sake.”

uh a little too late for that my man, lol. your girls already had a catchup session this afternoon. they're going for brunch and manis next weekend!

oh ho, she knows that angre's gone out. so this is def someone else in the house. DAMN, I'M REALLY INVESTED IN THIS SHADOW NOW.

yaaar, kya haalat bana rakhi hai shivaay ke room ki. best room hota tha iss set ka, aur isko bas ek random space banaa rakha hai.

ASLKFJSLDKJFLSDKJFLDKSF

this fucker crazyyyyy. like fulllll on flipping cray cray!!!!!!!!!!!!!

wow ok he's shaking from rage. more unhinged than i've ever seen him. which is really something. something scary as fuckkkkkkkk.

kudos to riddhima for just being like same old, same old, instead of being scared. i'm really liking i-give-no-fucks-riddhima.

DUDE. THIS FUCKER HAS COMPLETELY LOST IT.

also knife play copied from shivaay. this dude like a much much worse version of shivaay. never thought that would be possible, but never say never with ITV and the year 2020.

ok i don't like this angry version of him that's outta control, all shaking and growling and panting. not only is it really bad acting, it's hard to take seriously as menacing. ppl are always scarier when they're ice fucking cool with their anger.

blah blah blah some more growled warnings and riddhima and i are just here like............. “ok and????”

she's not even allowed to leave the room.

oooooh brave sis questioning him back and provokingggggggggg himmmmmmmmmm. got a death wish, this one, but i like her like this. i was sick of her just collapsing all over the place weeping. thaaaaaank god she found her longlost backbone.

“tum jaise haiwaan ki baat kabhi nahi maanungi.”

sarcastic slow clapping and slightly turned on by this show of dheentness.

“chalo aaj tumhari bahaaduri ko celebrate karte hain.”

uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

“piyo, zeher nahi milaaya hai ismein.”

OK NOW THAT YOU SAID THAT I'M DEFINITELY THINKING THAT YOU HAVE.

omg ridhhimaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa you idiottttttt.

ok he's def put something in it. his face almost looking pitying as he takes the glass back.

“jaao. jahaan jaana hai jaao. nahi rokunga tumhe.”

ohhhhhhhhhh boy.

dslkfjsdlfkjdslkfjdslkjflkd her legs don't work no moreeeeeeeee.

THIS FUCKERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR. JESUS CHRIST THIS CRAZY ASS FUCKING D;SLFKJ;SLDKFJ;LDSKJF;LDKJ

EVEN THE CHANNEL PUTTING BIG BOLD DISCLAIMER OVER THE SCENE LIKE THIS SHIT IS SERIOUSLY UNHINGED AND FICTIONAL THE CHANNEL ABSOLUTELY DOES NOT CONDONE THIS FUCKING MADNESSSSSSSSS

I CANNOT STOP SCREAMING THIS FUCKERRRRRRR IS OH MY FUCKING GOD WHAT THE EVER LOVING FUCK IS THIS THIS SHIT IS MAKING 4 LIONS MEN LOOK LIKE SOFT CUDDLY LIL SOFTBOIS I AM LITERALLY GOING OUTTA MY MIND WITH RAGE AND ANGUISH WHAT THE FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

i need a break. i seriously need a break to go cuddle my cat coz my god this deranged fucking showwwwwwwwwww.

ok cuddle break done. i’m not feeling any better but at least the tears of blood have stopped flowing from my eyes?

all i gots to say at this point is that CHEELANSHU SINGHANIA FROM NAAGIN 5 WOULD NEVER DO THIS. ONCE AGAIN SANKIIII CHEEL BOY >>>>>>>>>>>>>>> HUMAN MEN.

“haiwaan hoon main. rakshas hoon. aur rakshas kuch bhi kar sakta hai.”

electric chair for you, dude. ELECTRIC FUCKING CHAIR, GREEN MILE STYLE.

he literally gave her a paralytic.

“isse ek luxury relaxing spa treatment ki tarah enjoy karna.”

OMG I WISH I HAD SOMEONE MAKE ME SLIP INTO A PARALYTIC COMAAAAAAAAAA WHAT ELSE COULD A GIRL WANT FROM PRINCE CHARMING UWU TRUE WUVVVVVVVVV

omg inn paplu taplu ka chip waala naatak abhi bhi chal raha hai BIGGER THINGS HAVE HAPPENED IN THE HOUSE YOU IDIOTS KEEP THE FUCK UP LITERALLY NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOUR SADAA HUA MEMORY CARD ANYMOREEEEEEEEEE

anyway they decide to put it in the bank locker. omg why though, under the mattress was suchhhhhhh a safe and secure spot!!! badal kyun rahe ho tum log?!?!?!!?!?

“good morning.”

sis, lower half is paralysed. haath abhi bhi kaam kar rahein haina??? PICK UP WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU CAN GET YOUR HANDS ON AND HURL IT AT HIS FUCKING HEADDDDDDDDDDD

“don't worry, bas kuch der ki baat hai. uske baad tum apne pairon pe khadi ho sakti ho. main tumhari help kar deta hoon.”

TELLL HIM SIS. TELL HIM TO STAY THE FUCK AWAY AND NEVER EVER COME WITHIN A 3 DISTRICT RADIUS OF YOU.

“phir se zidd. tumhara naam riddhima nahi, ziddhima hona chahiye tha.”

ok can't deny i lol'd at that.

OK NO BACK TO HATING HIM. PUNS WILL GET YOU NOWHERE WITH ME, YOU BLOODY PSYCHOPATH.

“abhi toh bas ek chota dose diya hai jiska asar sirf 10 ghante rehta hai.”

oh how sweet. such a considerate husband. Star Parivaar Pati of The Year you are. haan behen, aur rakho aise pati ke liye karwachauth.

“agar baat nahi maaani, toh agla dose double hoga.”

seriously though, where can i get one of these? all i want is to be put in a coma so that i don't have to be conscious anymore. esp with the USA election today............ give me a 5x dose, daddy.

YEAH RIGHT LIKE SHE'S EVER GONNA CONSUME ANYTHING YOU OFFER HER EVER AGAIN LOL

“tum chaahe kitni bhi koshish karlo vansh, main tumhe ragini ko nuksaan pohunchaane nahi dungi.”

determination toh behen ka top classssssssssssss hai. where do ppl get such mental will from? i face the slightest inconvenience and i need a 6 hour nap to cope.

LMAO VANSH YOU DUMBASS YOU LEFT HER WITH HER PHONEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. YOU KNOW SHE'S A SPY AND HAS SOMEONE ON THE OUTSIDE. YOU WANTED HER NOT TO GET TO RAGINI BUT NOW SHE CAN JUST CALL WHOEVER SHE’S WORKING WITH TO GET RAGINI THE HELP. GOD, BEWAKOOFON KI TOLI HAI YEH SHOWWWWWWWW.

ab yaad aayi kabir ki. my god, he seems like such a mellow weirdo now compared to vansh, just into some casual costume-changing and quasi fratricide. almost a tolerable level of deranged compared to this other fucking madman.

sent a voice note to him.

SHE HEARD SOMEONE COMING AND FLUNG THE PHONE ACROSS THE ROOM INTO A PILE OF CLOTHES. OH HO WHYYYYYYYYYYYY, YOU COULD HAVE LITERALLY JUST HID IT BACK UNDER THE PILLOWS WHERE YOU FOUND IT!?!?!??!?!?!?

“hi riddhima! tumhe iss haal mein dekh kar, dil ko bohut sukoon mil raha hai.”

asldkfsjflkjdslfkjdl i honestly love her the most. she's so fucking petty and hilarious.

ishani is like thank god bhai has seen fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinally seen your real face.

“sirf vansh ne hi nahi, inn sab mein maine bhi vansh ka asli chehra dekh liya hai.”

“kya matlab hai tumhara?!?!!”

ok, i'm thinking ishani is shadow girl. from day 1, she’s wanted riddhima to see vansh in a certain way; as someone dangerous, the way he projects himself. (as opposed to dadi and siya who want her to see his soft side.) this statement from riddhima makes her wary that did she get close to the actual truth. INTERESTING. VERYYYYYYYYY INTERESTINGGGGG.

she's now grumbling about how vansh treats her much better than she actually deserves. I REALLY WANT MORE INSIGHT INTO THIS BROTHER SISTER RELATIONSHIP THEY HAVE IT'S SO INTRIGUINGGGGGGGG

le, kapde chale gaye laundry. phone ke saath.

———————————————————————

precap: kabir listened to the voice note and now him and mummy are in panic about ragini disclosing the truth about 3 years ago. RE DEVAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. OFC THESE TWO WERE INVOLVED IN THAT KAAND TOO. LITERALLY EVERY ONE IN THIS SHOW IS A DERANGED MENACE TO SOCIETY.

kabir coming to meet riddhima.

but ofc.

ugh she turned back saying “K.........” and he's like there's literally no one in this house whose name starts with K.

*facepalms for allllll eternity till my godforsaken face itself falls off.*

i think i’ll go watch s2 of mirzapur now. i need something ~~~light and fluffffffffffy~~~ to take my mind off whatever the FUCK this was.

#ishq mein marjawan 2 #immj2 #immj2 lbs #episode liveblogs

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1-800-i-ship-it · 5 years ago

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khun modern bf headcanons?

Hmm oof i am probably not the best person to be asking this cause I dont write fics or anything but I’ll do my best

So i realized that i just wrote plot stuff but im posting anyway cause i spent way too long on this ahaha

apologies in advance for typos that I'm too lazy to go through and correct

Enjoy the headcanons that i wrote later + plots that i originally wrote and went on a long tangent on oops

Headcanons:

Khun would be that subtle overprotective boyfriend

He’d just kinda silently watch from afar but he’d totally kill anybody who hurt bam in any way, shape, or form

But he’d like be SUPER sweet with bam like

Pet names yall PET NAMES like khun and bam would prob both mutually melt when they call each other pet names

Khun would always help bam with hw and whatnot, let’s pretend bam’s a physics genius cause thats just how i imagine him in modern life, always has trouble with law class (he’s taking it just for khun so he can understand what khun’s talking about) so khun helps him

Khun would be a super smooth talker, can woo a n y b o d y, exceptional at speeches, captain of speech and debate team

Khun would never admit he’s jealous but like the whole gang would know (except for bam who’s clueless as usual)

Like bam is friendly with everybody so khun’d just be like ugh screw yall

But then bam always confides in him and spends a crapload amt of time with him so he knows he’s just doubting himself and he’s mad at himself about it cause he knows bam is loyal to a fault and would never betray him

When bam gets older bam uses this against him hehe

Khun would also be that bf that everyones jealous of

Everyone would want to be with khun but he only has eyes for bam

Ignores everybody else who hits on him

Side note i still stan top!bam and bottom!khun

Khun would also be super thoughtful and goes out of his way to help make bam’s life easier whether its doing chores or smth etc, and each time bam smiles at him and expresses his gratitude khun’s heart would melt for the 1000th time

But like secretly khun really likes confident and sexy bam

They’d probably roleplay ngl (let ur imagination wonder~)

Khun would enjoy just spending time with bam :’) just cuddling and doing mundane things, they’d be super adorable together, hugs and kisses and ah just too cute-

Khun secretly likes bdsm and bam knows this 😏they switch roles from time to time, i cant decide who’s sub/dom

Khun would plan a super elaborate proposal to bam but then somehow bam would catch him off guard and then khun would just blurt it out when they’re together <3

Khun’d always be up early to cook for bam, they both morning ppl tho khun’s always sleep deprived bc hes also a night owl

Khun is shy with pda in public but eventually he and bam decide they dont care anymore and just hold hands and act all lovey dovey to the point where shibisu cant decide if he’s a proud dad or if he wants to throw up, rak is always proud of his turtles, endorsi and hatz literally want to throw up all the time and would die before admitting that they secretly approve of khunbam

Khun is all around a model bf that i am sure half the fandom would be willing to date but im sorry guys khun’s taken cause he’s only got eyes for bam~

Plot things/idk what they’re called:

CEO!khun and intern!bam

Assassin!khun and assassin!bam who eventually get together and destroy the corrupt system

Gdi i thought of so many while having dinner but i forgot

Hmmmm

Imagine bam as jue viole grace like forced to work in a gang or smth and then khun as the gang boss

I totally dont have a thing for badass assassin themed things pls dont judge me

Teacher!khun and student!bam (ofc it’d be near graduation if u get my drift...😏)

Idk why i thought of this but imagine idol khun o.o wait YO idol khun + assistant bam

Tutor!khun and student!bam

I feel like im literally just saying the same ideas

Theres a reason why im not a fic writer :’)

High school sweethearts -> angst bc parents dont approve, sad forced breakup, no contact -> get back together when older after a time-lapse when they’re more mature, heated reunion

Best friends bam and khun since preschool, since they were in the womb, PINING, both of them scared to admit it cause they dont want to ruin their friendship, meanwhile the entire gang is betting on them getting together (aka mainly rak and shibisu betting, hatz, endorsi, anaak, (insert s2 and s3 gang dont wanna spoil) everybody etc)

Uni students with khun as a law major and bam as a cs major (both geniuses, nerd bam), roommates *insert smirk* lots of pining, blushes from them casually changing in front of each other...the rest is up to ur imagination

Khun and bam as rival sports teams coaches

Age gap!khunbam (not a lot, somewhere between 5-8 yrs), with bam as the younger one who kept saying that he loves khun but khun just laughs it off bc bams a kid but then khun sees bam after he comes back from college and bam gets a massive glowup from clueless cinnamon roll to clueless cinnamon roll hottie who only has the hots for khun (still) and then khuns all like “fuck” *dies inside*

Single dad khun, bam as a daycare employee who keeps getting flustered by khun, khun takes interest in bam bc he doesn’t ask nosy questions like other ppl, and bam has these mesmerizing golden eyes

Tailor/dry cleaner owner!bam and office worker!khun who constantly needs his clothes to be altered so they fit exactly how he wants them to (this eventually results in awkward moments and blushing), and also dry cleans like his countless number of suits and dress shirts and whatnot

Author!khun and publishing assistant!bam (is it even called publishing assistant honestly i have no idea but u get what i mean right), khun never signs books but bam convinces him to

Poet!khun and uni student!bam as a literature major who’s a big fan and wanted to meet khun at one of his signings but is too shy even though shibisu drags him there, accidentally bumps into khun in the bathroom, is all flustered, ends up talking to khun for super long, khun loves bam’s enthusiasm for the subject, offers to give feedback on bam’s poems, bam is literally about to combust, they have lots of meetings and khun flirts with bam who’s clueless but blushes a lot anyway, they kiss *ahem* the rest is history

Spy!khun and bam, khun realizing he doesn’t want to hurt bam, sends fake info back to his country (ruled by eduan and jahad), eduan finds out (sent khun out in the first place bc khun was a threat to him cause the ppl liked khun better), sends out an assassin to get khun, who knows this and escapes with bam somewhere, some complicated plot taht idk how to figure out but you get the drift, eventually khun rules the country with bam

Real estate agent khun and contractor bam, eventually start their own business together

Khun as student pres, also known as the ice king bc he’s turned down dating everyone who asked, bam as the transfer student who catches his attention (bam with more of a jue viole grace complex), the silent physics genius who is also on par with khun when debating in speech and debate club

Khun and bam as besties, always do their hw together and hang out after class (cause bam always needs help haha), something leads to them fake dating, eventually real dating 😏

Khun and bam as besties, always do their hw together and hang out after class (cause bam always needs help haha), someone (rachel, DO NOT KILL ME I HAVE A REASON) asks bam out and he doesn't know how to say no (the rest of the gang egging him to date cause they know khuns gonna be jelly) khun goes and sulks, eventually bam gets hurt and manipulated by her, khun is pissed off, rachel is reported for abuse, khun and the gang fight for bam, khun is there for bam all the time, after a while bam asks khun out of the blue if khun likes him (shibisu let it slip that khun is gay bc god knows bam is oblivious af), khun is shocked but says yes bc he cant hide it anymore, bam says he always loved khun but thought khun was straight (bc of some dumb rumor someone said) which was why he ignored his feelings and agreed to date rachel bc he just wanted to distract himself, lots of cuddling thereafter, they get together, rak wins the bet for when khunbam will get together, khunbam gets married

oh man that became way longer than i expected...anon i hope u enjoyed that? half of it prob made 0 sense ngl and idek if i answered the q properly?

kudos to you if you actually read like all my rambling :’)

#bluris answers asks #1800ishipit answers asks #khun headcanons #khun the modern bf #i always write way too much oops #idk what im doing #if you really read till here bless ur heart #headcanons #plot things

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winchesterbrotherstan · 5 years ago

Text

SPN- Playthings (2.11)

Pairing: Olive Winchester (sister OC)

Summary: After a month of searching for Ava with no results, the siblings accept a case from Ellen. Sam spirals after a secret is revealed, Olive plays caretaker, and Dean makes a promise he can’t keep.

Warnings: uh, like a ghost, the word gun is in there one time (wow), uh there’s some cursing, DOLLS ARE FUCKING CREEPY OKAY, uhh, olive says the word milf, uh like, idk?? mentions of dead ppl??

Word Count: 6079

“Yeah. Okay. Thanks, Ellen.” Sam hung up the phone as I unlocked the door, pushing it open with my foot.

“What’d she have to say?” Dean shut the door behind him.

“Oh, she’s got nothing.” Sam sighed. “Me, I’ve been checking every database I can think of. Federal, state, local. No one’s heard anything about Ava. She just… into thin air, you know?”

Dean sighed and handed Sam one of the coffee cups. Sam looked over at us with hopeful puppy eyes.

“What about you?”

Dean and I shared a look. I shook my head and turned back to Sam.

“Nothing yet. I’m sorry, bubs.”

Sam sighed. “Ellen did have one thing.”

“What was it?” Dean sat down at the table.

I dropped onto Sam’s bed and began to work at my shoes.

“A hotel in Cornwall, Connecticut. Two freak accidents in the past three weeks.”

Dean looked at me. I shrugged.

“I’m confused, what’s this have to do with Ava?”

Sam shook his head. “No, it’s just a job. A lady drowned in the bathtub, then a few days ago a guy falls down the stairs. His head does a complete one-eighty. Not exactly normal, you know. I dunno, guys, it might be nothing, but I told Ellen we’d think about checking it out.”

Sam looked at us. I shrugged again.

“Sounds good to me.”

“Wait, you did?” Dean furrowed his eyebrows.

“Yeah.” Sam frowned. “Why do you seem surprised?”

“Well, it’s just… you know…” Dean scratched the back of his neck. “Not the uh, patented Sam Winchester way. Is it?”

Sam raised an eyebrow.. “And what way is that?”

“Oh, you know, I just figured that after Ava, there’d be, uh… ya now, more angst and droopy music and staring out rainy windows and-”

Sam shot Dean a bitchface, and he chuckled.

“Okay. I’ll shut up now.”

“Look.” Sam huffed. “I’m the one who told her to go back home. And now her fiancé’s dead and some demon snatched her and took her God knows where. But we’ve been looking for a month now, and we’ve still got nothing. I’m not giving up on her, but I’m not gonna sit by and let other people die either. We’ve gotta save as many people as we can.”

“Wow.” Dean blinked. “That attitude is just way too healthy for me. I’m officially uncomfortable now. Thanks.”

Sam ducked his head and laughed. I shuffled from the bed to stand behind him. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and leaned over him. He patted my arm with a smile.

“Alright.” Dean huffed dramatically. “Call Ellen, tell her we’ll take it.”

***

I yawned as Dean put the Impala in park. We had stayed in the car for the night, and with Jinx and my most recent growth spurt, it proved to be more difficult than we had remembered. I kicked Dean in my sleep, and my leg had twisted up weird.

“Dude, this is sweet.” Dean grinned as we poured out of the car. “I never get to work jobs like this.”

“Like what?”

“Old school haunted houses, you know? Fog, secret passageways… sissy British accents. Might even run into Fred and Daphne while we’re inside.” Dean closed his eyes with a smile and a soft sigh. “Mmm, Daphne. Love her.”

I shook my head as we started up the porch stairs.

“Hey, wait a sec.” Sam held a hand out, stopping us both short.

I turned back down the steps, staring at an urn on the side of the stairs. Dean stopped walking and looked at us over his shoulder.

“I’m not so sure haunted’s the problem.”

“What do you mean?”

“See the pattern?” Sam squatted next to the urn and tapped a five point symbol engraved in a sun. “That’s a quincunx.”

“A five-spot.” I hummed.

“Five-spot.” Dean repeated.

“Yeah.”

“That’s used for hoodoo spellwork, isn’t it?”

“Yeah. You fill this thing with bloodweed and you’ve got a powerful charm to ward off enemies.”

“Yeah, except I don’t see any bloodweed.” Dean smacked his lips. “Don’t you think this place is a little too, uh… whitemeat for hoodoo?”

Sam huffed as we looked around. “Maybe.”

We filed into the inn one by one. Dean caught the front lady’s attention, and Sam and I took our sweet time closing the door, observing the old timey interior.

“May I help you?”

“Hi, yeah, I’d like a room for a couple of nights.” Dean smiled.

Sam and I shared a look before he stepped into the lobby. A little girl wearing an old school-uniform bumped into Sam’s legs as she ran across the room. The hairs on the back of my neck stood up straight, and Jinx barked. I knelt next to her and shushed her, smoothing her fur out.

“Hey!” The lady shouted before looking at Sam. “I’m so sorry about that.”

Sam shook his head, a dismissive frown on his face. “No problem.”

“Well, um, congratulations. You could be some of our final guests.”

“Well. Sounds vaguely ominous.” Dean huffed.

“No, I’m sorry. I mean we’re closing at the end of the month.” The lady looked over the two. “Let me guess. You guys are here antiquing?”

Dean looked back at Sam with a why not look before turning back. “How’d you know?”

“Oh, you just look the type.”

I could sense Dean’s discomfort. Sam stepped forward.

“Sorry, uh, are you guys pet friendly? She’s well trained, we just didn’t have anywhere to leave her.”

“Normally we’re not, but since we’re so close to shutting down, it’s fine.”

Sam nodded at me and I slowly brought Jinx in.

“So, uh, one king-sized bed?”

“What?” Sam blinked.

“Oh, oh, oh, uh, no. No, no, no.” I shook my head, popping in between the two. “No, two singles.” I circled my finger around the three of us. “We’re just siblings.”

“Oh.” The lady’s eyes widened. “Oh, I’m so sorry.”

Dean tilted his head. “What’d you mean that we look the type?”

She stared down while looking for something to say. Sam cleared his throat.

“You know, speaking of antiques, you have a really, really interesting urn on the front porch. Where’d you get that?”

“Oh, I have no idea.” She smiled, grateful for the out. “It’s been there forever.”

She handed Dean a room key. “Here you go, Mr. Mahagov.”

Dean gave her the classic white-people smile and took the key. “Thanks.”

The lady rang the bell on the counter. “You’ll be staying in room 237. Sherwin, could you show these fine folks to their room?”

Dean and I turned to see an old, balding man dressed formally shuffling up behind us. “Let me guess. Antiquers?”

The three of us bit our tongues as Sherwin took Dean’s bag from him and began to lead us up the stairs. Sam and I opted to keep ours on our shoulders. Sam scooped Jinx off her feet and held her to his chest as we followed Sherwin. Dean’s duffel bag wouldn’t stop clunking, and I was horrified a gun would somehow go off. Dean scratched the back of his neck.

“I could give you a hand with that bag.”

“I got it.”

“Okay.” Dean licked his lips and gave me a look.

I patted his arm. Sam cleared his throat.

“So, the hotel’s closing up, huh?”

“Yep. Miss Susan tried to make a go of it, but the guests just don’t come like they used to. Still, it’s a damn shame.”

“Oh, yeah?” Sam spoke in a tell-us-more tone.

“It may not look it anymore, but this place was a palace. Two different vice-presidents laid their heads on our pillows. My parents worked here, I practically grew up here. Gonna miss it.” Sherwin sighed as he unlocked our room and pushed the door open. “Here’s your room.”

He handed Sam the key and nodded as we shuffled into the room. Dean turned to shut the door, only to see that Sherwin was standing there, hand out.

“You’re not gonna… cheap out on me. Are you, boy?”

Dean sighed as he pulled out his wallet.

***

Sam ran a hand through his hair as he skimmed over the paper in his hand. I yawned and put down the paper I had just finished reading. Dean was pacing. He let out a dry chuckle, then a mumble of curses.

“What?” Sam and I didn’t look up.

“That’s normal.” Dean huffed.

I looked up as he stood next to me, arms crossed over his chest. There was an old wedding dress pinned up to the wall. I sucked in air through my teeth as Dean moved to sit on one of the beds.

“Why the hell would anyone stay here? I’m amazed they kept in business this long.” He dropped onto the bed, which sunk further under him.

“Alright, victim number one.” I spoke up, waving the paper. “Joan Edison, forty three years old. Realtor handling the sale of the hotel. Victim number two?” I looked over at Sam.

“Larry Williams. Moving some stuff out to Goodwill.”

“Well, there’s a connection. They’re both tied up in shutting the place down.”

“Yeah.” Sam hummed. “Maybe somebody here doesn’t wanna leave, and they’re using hoodoo to fight back.”

“Who do you think our witch doctor is? That Susan lady?”

“Nah.” Sam shook his head. “Doesn’t seem likely. I mean, she is the one selling.”

“Maybe Sherwin?” I offered.

“I don’t know.” Sam shrugged.

“Of course, the most troubling question is why do these people assume we’re gay?”

“Well…” Sam hummed. “You are kinda butch. Probably think you’re overcompensating.”

I snorted. “It’s cause you’re a bottom and Sam’s not.” I mumbled.

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me.” I mumbled again.

“Ha fucking ha.” Dean narrowed his eyes at me with a huff.

***

“This place is weird.” I stuck to Dean’s side as we poked around the hallways.

“Hey, look.” Sam pulled another urn off a table. “More hoodoo.”

Dean made a face before looking around. He stalked off toward a door marked PRIVATE and knocked. Sam put the urn down and we crowded Dean in the doorway, eyes wide as we looked around.

The door opened, revealing Susan. “Hi.”

“Hi there.” Dean gave his charming grin.

“Everything okay with your room?”

“Yeah, yeah.”

“Oh, yeah everything’s great.”

“Well-”

“Well, I was, I was just in the middle of packing.” She cut Dean off as the three of us talked over each other.

“Hey!” Dean’s face lit up as he looked past her. “Are those antique dolls? Cause this one,” he turned and picked his victim. “Sammy here’s got a major doll collection back home. Don’t ya?”

He gave Susan a polite smile that, hopefully, screamed murder to Dean. “Big time.”

“Big time. You think he could come, or we could come in and take a look?”

Susan shifted. “I don’t know…”

“Please?” Dean begged. “I mean, he loves them. He’s not gonna tell you this, but he’s uh, he’s always dressing em up in their tiny little outfits, and uh,” he shrugged, “honestly, you’d make his day. You- she would, huh?” He turned to Sam with a grin.

Sam looked sick. “It’s true.”

“Okay.” Susan stepped aside. “Come on in.”

“Alright! Alright.” Dean slapped Sam’s back as we trudged into the room.

Sam gave him another death glare and I pushed myself between the two as we looked around the room.

“Wow.” Dean hummed. “That’s a lot of dolls.” He feigned a smile. “I mean, they’re nice, ya know.” He looked down at me and mumbled. “Not super creepy at all.”

Susan laughed. “Yeah, I suppose they are a little creepy. But they’ve been in the family forever. A lot of sentimental value.”

“What is this?” Sam was on the other end of the room, walking around a huge dollhouse. “The hotel?”

“Yeah, that’s right.” Susan smiled. “Exact replica, custom built.”

Sam frowned and picked something up off the ground. “His head got twisted around.” He held a doll up so Dean and I could see.

Dean and I shared a look before turning to Susan.

“What happened to it?”

“Oh, Tyler, probably.”

We forced understanding smiles, and the second Susan turned her back, we gave each other bug eyes.

What the fuck?

“Mommy!” Tyler ran in. “Maggie’s being mean!”

“Tyler, tell her I said to be nice, okay.”

“Hey, Tyler.” Sam came over with a soft smile on his face. “I see you broke your doll. You want me to fix it?”

“I didn’t break it.” Tyler pouted. “I found it like that.”

“Oh.” Sam smiled wider. “Well, maybe Maggie did it.”

I sighed. Sometimes it broke my heart to know he’d never have a family of his own.

“No.” Tyler shook her head. “Neither of us did it. Grandma would get mad if we broke them.”

“Oh, Tyler.” Susan hummed. “She wouldn’t get mad.”

“Grandma?” Dean took a step forward.

“Grandma Rose. These were all her toys.”

“Oh, really?” Dean looked around. “Where’s Grandma Rose now?”

“Up in her room.”

“You know, I’d, I’d, uh, I’d really love to talk to Rose about her incredible doll-”

“No.” Susan cut Sam off. “I mean, I’m afraid that’s impossible. My mother’s been very sick and she’s not taking any visitors.”

We were promptly ushered out of the room, and the door was shut behind us.

“What do you guys think?” Dean began. “Dolls, hoodoo, mysterious shut-in grandma?”

“Boys, I hate to say it, I really do. But I think we’re in a horror movie.”

Sam ran a hand over his face and Dean gave me a gentle push. “Every time you say that, something goes terribly wrong. Have you realized that?”

I frowned. “No. I just kinda say things.”

Sam sighed. “Okay, well dolls are used in all kinds of voodoo and hoodoo. Curses, binding spells…”

“Yeah, maybe we’ve found our witch doctor. Alright, I’ll see what I can go dig up on booming granny. You go get online, check old obits, freak accidents, that sort of thing. See if she’s whacked anybody before.”

***

“Jesus Christ.” I hissed as I shut the room door behind me, leaning on it.

Sam looked up, teary eyed. “What happened?”

“Uh… lawyer. He hung himself.”

Sam pinched the bridge of his nose and looked down. His shoulders began to shake, and I felt my heart soften.

“Sammy…”

He looked up, tears falling down in streaks. “Jessica was pregnant.”

I stopped cold. “What?”

He pushed his hair out of his face. “She was pregnant. Becky called me.”

“Becky… Becky from a year ago?”

He nodded. “She knew, and she never said a thing.”

“Hold on, Sammy…” I trailed off as I sat down on the table. “When?”

He looked away. “When…” He licked his lips and let out a strangled sob. “When she died.”

He began to weep, and I scrambled to my feet, pulling him into my chest. He gripped fistfuls of my jacket, and I ran a hand through his hair as the other held his shoulders tightly.

“Sammy, I’m so sorry.” I whispered.

“I couldn’t save the lawyer. I couldn’t even save Jess.” He whimpered.

“Sams, neither were your fault.”

“I was gonna be a dad.”

“I am so sorry, Sammy.” I pressed a long kiss to the top of his head and bit back my own tears.

“I should’ve done something.”

I rubbed his back. “Sams, there is nothing you could’ve done.”

He pulled back and wiped his face. “I dreamt about it! I could’ve done something! I could’ve saved her! What if something happens to you? O-o-or to Dean? I’m useless.”

My heart shattered, and I cupped his face, bending down so that we were nose to nose.

“You are not useless. You’re my brother. Dean and I need you.”

He shook his head, pushing my hands away. “I’m gonna go for a walk.”

He stumbled to his feet, and I sighed as his breath hit my face. I grabbed his wrists and pulled him back.

“Sams, you’re drunk.”

“So? You think I won’t be able to go on a walk?” He challenged.

“No.” I whispered. “But I’m not gonna let you go out into a haunted hotel while you’re wasted.”

He huffed. “I just-”

“Do you need to be alone?”

He nodded.

“Okay.” I tugged him back toward his chair. “Stay here. I’ll go for a walk.” I glanced at my watch. “I’ll be back in half an hour. Okay?”

He nodded again as he dropped into his seat. I cupped his face again.

“I love you. Okay?”

He nodded.

“I’ll be back soon.” I kissed his head again before grabbing Jinx’s leash and calling her over.

She bolted out the door and sat in the hall. I looked over my shoulder to see Sam with his head in his hands. I sighed and shut the door.

***

Jinx yawned as she dropped to her stomach. I had walked her around the neighborhood, which was, like the hotel, creepy. It was picturesque, but the antique feeling was everywhere, and it was one I didn’t like.

Somebody started up the stairs, and I didn’t look up as I scooted over, trying to give them more space to walk.

“Sweetheart?”

I looked up to see Dean. I sighed.

“What happened? Where’s Sam?”

“Um…” I stood and avoided eye contact.

“Ol.” Dean craned his neck to catch my eye. “Why did I see a coroner’s van-”

“A lawyer hung himself.”

“Jesus.” Dean huffed.

“Look… Jess was pregnant.”

“What?”

“Jessica. When she died. She was pregnant. Sam just found out.”

Dean’s eyes bugged out of his head. “Wh…”

“Just cut him some slack. Okay?”

Dean huffed. “Fine. Come on.”

We trudged up the stairs and into the lobby in silence.

“Uh, hey.” Susan caught our attention. “I’m sure you heard about the lawyer… look, if you’d like to check out, I can give you a full refund.”

I shook my head. “No. Thanks.”

“We don’t scare that easily.” Dean pulled me to keep walking.

He led the way up the stairs and pushed the door open.

“There’s been another one. Lawyer hung himself.” He called into the room.

“We know.” Sam grunted.

I shut the door and flicked the lights on.

“We’ve gotta figure this out, and fast.” Dean huffed. “What’d you find out about Granny?”

“You’re bossy.” Sam snorted out.

I cursed to myself as Dean spun around. “What?”

“You’re bossy. And short.” Sam let out a sloppy laugh.

A glare formed on Dean’s face as he looked my way, then back at Sam. “Are you drunk?”

“Yeah.” Sam laughed again. “So? Stupid.”

Dean looked around and spotted the empty bottles. His shoulders fell and he shook his head at me. I looked down at the ground.

“Dude. What are you thinking? We’re working a case.” Dean barked out.

Sam stared down at the ground, tearful again. “That guy who hung himself. I couldn’t save him.”

“What are you talking about? You didn’t know. You couldn’t have done anything, Sam.

“That’s an excuse, Dean.” Sam huffed. “I should’ve found a way to save him. I should’ve saved Ava, too.”

Dean made a face, and I grabbed his wrist. “Hey. Slack. Remember? We’re cutting him some slack.”

Dean sighed and took a few steps toward Sam. “Well, you can’t save everyone. Even you said that.”

“No, Dean, you don’t understand!” Sam slammed the table. “The more people I save, the more I can change!”

My heart fell to my stomach.

“Change what, Sam?” Dean shook his head.

“My destiny, Dean!” Sam leaned forward, his hands on his chest

Dean sighed. “Alright. Time for bed. Come on, Sasquatch.” He pulled Sam up by the shoulders. “Come on.”

“I need you to watch out for me.” Sam huffed as Dean pushed him toward the bed.

“I always do.”

“No! No, no, no. You have to watch out for me, alright? And if I ever…” Sam huffed again. “Turn into something that I’m not…”

My skin began to crawl, and Dean tilted his head.

“You have to kill me.” Sam looked over Dean’s shoulder, at me. “Either of you.”

“No!” I spat.

“Sam.” Dean’s tone was dismissive.

“Dean! Dad told you to do it, you have to.”

“Yeah, well, Dad was an ass.” Dean snarled.

Sam frowned, confusion washing over his face.

“He never should have said anything. I mean, you don't do that, you don't, you don't lay that kind of crap on your kids.”

“No. He was right to say it! Who knows what I might become?” Sam whined. “Even now, everyone around me dies!”

“Yeah, well, Olive and I aren’t dying, okay?”

“And neither are you.” I hissed as I helped Dean maneuver Sam onto the bed. “Come on, Sams.”

He sat on the bed, but he wouldn’t lay down. He grabbed Dean’s jacket and pulled him close. “No, Dean, please!” Sam whined again. “You’re the only one who can do it. Promise.”

“Don’t ask that of me.” Dean shook his head.

“Dean, please.” Sam begged. “You have to promise me.”

Dean looked away, and I caught his eye. I shook my head, eyes wide and full of tears. Dean sniffled, tears collecting in his own eyes.

“Don’t.” I hissed.

He looked back at Sam. “I promise.”

“Thanks.” Sam reached up to grab Dean’s face. “Thank you.”

Dean batted Sam’s hand away. I climbed onto the bed and pulled Sam to lay down as Dean lifted his legs onto the bed. Sam turned and planted his face onto my chest, wrapping both of his arms around me. I hugged him back and glared at Dean as he ran a hand over his face.

***

“Oh god.” Sam’s voice was hoarse.

“Sams?” I whispered.

He slowly rolled onto his back with a huff. “Oh fuck.”

“Hey.” I sat up and pushed his hair out of his face.

“I’m gonna be sick.”

“Oh. Oh god, oh no.” I hissed as he scrambled off the bed, stumbling his way to the bathroom.

He barely made it as he threw up. I groaned. Taking care of the boys while they were black out drunk was one thing, but hungover and throwing up was another story.

“Oh, bambi.” I whispered, helping him settle on his knees. “Come on, let’s take your jacket off.” I eased the denim fabric from his shoulders.

“Shit.” He groaned.

“Come on. Shoes, too.” I rubbed his shoulders.

“You don’t have to take care of me.” He fussed as he kicked his shoes off.

“You always take care of me.” I knelt by his side and brushed a thumb over his cheek. “Let me take care of you.”

He gave me a soft smile, but it fell. His face drained of color, and he turned back to the toilet. I sighed as I rubbed his back. He spat into the toilet again. I shushed him soothingly.

“How are you feeling, Sammy?” Dean all but shouted as he entered the room, out of view.

Sam groaned before dry heaving. I stood up and crouched behind him, pulling his hair into a small ponytail. I tucked what didn’t stay behind his ears.

“I guess mixing whiskey and Jäger wasn’t such a gangbuster idea, huh?”

Sam ignored him.

“I’ll bet you don’t remember a single thing from last night, do you?” Dean asked, hope in his eyes.

I shot him a glare, and he cleared his throat. Sam only huffed before letting out another groan.

“No, I can still taste the fucking tequila.”

A relieved smile grew on Dean’s face, and I sighed as I rubbed Sam’s back again, sitting on the edge of the tub. He leaned down on his feet with a groan. I pulled the hand towel off the ring and wiped the sweat off his forehead. He dropped onto his butt and leaned into me, head hitting my chest. I cooed as I pushed stray hairs from his face.

“You know, there’s a really good hangover remedy.” Dean cracked a devilish grin.

“Dean.” I warned.

“It’s a, uh, it’s a greasy pork sandwich served up in a dirty ashtray.”

“Oh, I hate you.” Sam popped back to his knees to throw up.

“I know you do.” Dean laughed. “Hey, turns out when Grandma Rose was a tyke, she had a Creole nanny who wore a hoodoo necklace.” He leaned in the doorway and huffed, waving the air in front of his nose. “God, it fucking stinks in here.”

“Yeah, you’re telling me.” I grumbled back.

“Whew.” Dean hummed. “Sometimes I forget you have better senses than we do.”

“Okay, you think the nanny taught Rose hoodoo?”

“Yes I do.” Dean crossed his arms over his chest.

“Alright.” Sam stumbled to his feet. “I think it’s time we’ve talked to Rose, then.”

His breath hit my face and I held back my own gag. “Oh, Sams.” I stepped back. “You’ve gotta brush your teeth first.”

***

“I’ll see you guys later.” I pressed a kiss to Sam’s cheek, then to Dean’s.

“See you, baby.” Dean grinned.

“Love you, bug.” Sam gave me a kind smile.

“Love you guys too. Be safe.”

“Always, you too!” Dean called as I shut the car door and started across the parking lot.

I tugged on the straps of my backpack as I walked up the steps and into the school. I fished the crumpled schedule from my back pocket and sighed.

World geography.

“Hey.”

I looked up to see a blond boy my age smiling at me.

“Hi.” I feigned a smile back.

“Need help finding your classes? I moved here a few years ago, I’ve got the building pretty much down.” He chuckled.

I shrugged. “Sure, why not?”

“Adam.” He held his hand out.

I shook it. “Olive.”

He chuckled. “Nice name.”

I rolled my eyes with a smile. “Thanks. My brothers love food.”

“Brothers?” He repeated as we walked. “Yikes.”

I shook my head. “Nah. They’re good. You got any siblings?”

“I’m an only child.”

I let out a low whistle. “Sucks.”

***

“See ya around, Olive!” Adam waved.

I put a hand up. “See ya.”

“Hey, kid.” Dean grinned as he pulled up, windows down.

“Hey, De. Hi, Sams.” I slid into the backseat.

Jinx was curled up, and our bags were on the floor. I furrowed my eyebrows.

“What happened?”

“Oh, uh…”

“We got kicked out.”

“What?” My eyes widened as I looked up. “How? Why?”

“Susan caught us trying to talk to Rose.”

“Oh god.” I rolled my eyes.

“Look, she had a stroke. There’s no way she was practicing hoodoo.”

I sighed and leaned forward as Dean drove off. “Then what’s happening at the hotel?”

The boys shook their heads. I sighed again.

“Let’s go back.”

“What?”

“We can’t, sweetie.”

“Yes we can.” I scoffed.

“How?” Dean eyed me in the rearview.

I shrugged. “Easy. I’ll just tell her you guys forgot to pack some of my stuff. She seemed to like me. She’ll let me back in.”

The boys shared a brief look, and Dean sighed. “Fine. Ten minutes, in and out.”

I grinned. “Works for me.”

***

“Is that…” Sam squinted and leaned forward.

“Shit, Dean, stop the car!” I squeaked.

He slammed the brakes, and I pushed the door open before taking off in a sprint, tackling Susan out of the way. The car crashed into the tree on the edge of the playground and Susan panted as we sat up.

“You okay?” I asked.

“I think so.”

“Come on, come on.” Dean and Sam came scrambling.

I got to my feet, and my knee slipped out from under me. I crashed onto my ass with a grumble. Dean sighed and plucked me off the ground as Sam helped Susan up.

“Inside, let’s go.”

Sam led the way, guiding Susan by the shoulders. She huffed as we walked into the dining room.

“Whiskey.” She sat down.

“Sure.” Sam scoffed. “I know the feeling.”

Susan looked up as Dean eased me into a seat at the table. I hissed as he knelt down, rubbing my knee.

“What the fuck happened out there?” Susan demanded.

Sam and I blinked, and Dean popped my knee. I let out a curse as I shot up straight, tears in my eyes.

“You want the truth?” Dean asked.

“Of course!”

“Well, at first we thought it was some sort of hoodoo curse, but that out there?” Dean let out a whistle. “That was definitely a spirit.”

Sam handed her a glass of whiskey before sitting down next to me.

Susan stared. “You’re insane.”

“Yeah, it’s been said.” Dean hummed.

I shifted in my seat, trying to straighten my leg out. “Look, I’m sorry, Susan, but we don’t exactly have time to ease you into this. We need to know when your mother had the stroke.”

“What does that have to do-”

“Just answer the question.” Sam cut her off.

“Uh, about a month ago.”

“Right before the killings began.” Sam mumbled before looking at me and Dean. “See? So what if Rose was working hoodoo, but not to hurt anyone. To protect them.”

I sighed. “She was using the five-spots to ward off the spirit.”

“Right.” Sam nodded. “Until she had a stroke and she couldn’t anymore.”

“I don’t believe this.” Susan shook her head.

“Listen, sister, that car didn’t try to run you down by itself, okay? I mean, I guess it did, technically, but, but the spirit can… forget it.”

“Look, you can believe whatever you the fuck you want to. But the fact is that you and your family are in danger. Okay? So you need to clear everyone out of here. Your employees, your mother, your kids, everyone.”

“Uh… I only have one daughter.”

Sam squinted. “One?”

“I thought Tyler had a sister named Maggie?” Dean tilted his head.

Susan scoffed. “Maggie’s imaginary.”

Sam’s jaw twitched, Dean’s eyebrows furrowed, and I buried my hands in my head.

“Mother fucker.”

“Where’s Tyler?”

Susan’s eyes went wide before she bolted. We scrambled over each other’s feet, following her up the stairs and to her private room. She struggled with the door before pushing it open.

“Tyler!”

The floor was littered with broken dolls. Sam and Dean gave each other a look.

“Oh my god. Tyler!” Susan ran through another door, calling for her daughter.

I ducked, checking under furniture as the boys tore through the closets. Susan came back, running.

“She’s not here!”

“Okay, okay. Susan. Susan.” Sam grabbed her by the shoulders. “Tell us what you know about Maggie.”

“Um, not much. Tyler’s been talking about her ever since Mom got sick.”

“Okay, did you ever know anyone by that name?”

“Uh, no!”

“Think, think.” Dean pressured. “I mean, somebody that could’ve lived here?”

“Maybe someone who passed away?” I offered.

“Oh my god.” Susan’s face drained of color. “My mom. My mom had a sister named Margaret. She barely spoke about her.”

The three of us shared a look.

“Did Margaret happen to die here when she was a kid?”

“Yeah, she drowned in the pool.”

Dean made a face as he began to move. “Come on.”

***

Dean ran ahead, and Sam and I followed, Susan only a few steps behind. The dead garden seemed more eerie now than it had before. Sam reached the door first, trying to unlock it. It didn’t budge. Tyler was on the edge of the balcony inside, only a slip away from falling into the pool.

“Tyler!” Susan called.

Dean and Sam pounded on the glass, trying to break it.

“Mommy!” Tyler squealed.

She fell in with a scream.

“Tyler!”

“Is there another entrance?” Dean asked.

“Around back.”

“Okay, come on.” Dean pulled Susan away before turning to us. “Keep working.”

Sam and I continued to elbow the door, and I let out a grunt as I slammed my shoulder against the frame. It didn’t budge. Sam groaned, looking around. He stopped before grabbing something. He pushed me aside before slamming a pot into the door. The glass began to crack, and Sam began to work harder. He finally got through, the door shattering. He jammed himself through and, without hesitation, leapt over the railing, into the pool.

“Sam!” I squeaked as I ran in, leaning over the railing.

He wasted no time pushing past the plastic cover. I watched as he swam toward Tyler before scooping her up in his arms. I bolted down the steps, reaching his side. I pulled Tyler from his arms and set her down on her side. Sam clambered out of the pool as Dean and Susan burst in. I patted Tyler’s back, and she coughed. Sam helped me push her up to sit, and Susan pulled her into a bear hug.

“Mommy.” She whined.

“Yeah, baby. I’m here. I’m right here.” Susan cried.

“Tyler, do you see Maggie anywhere?” Sam gave her sympathetic eyes.

“No, she’s gone.” She snuggled back into Susan. “Mommy.”

***

“Don’t worry, honey, we’re leaving in two minutes. We’ve just got to get Grandma.” Susan cooed as she held Tyler against her side, moving up the stairs.

“I don’t get it.” Dean hissed. “Did Maggie just stop?”

“Seems like it.” Sam shrugged, hair dripping.

“Well, where the hell did she go?” I asked.

Susan screamed from upstairs. Sam reacted first, bolting up the steps. Dean and I followed. Sam busted through the door. Susan was holding Tyler against her side, crying. The three of us sighed when we saw Rose slumped in her wheelchair.

She was dead.

***

“Paramedics said it was another stroke. Do you think… Margaret could’ve had something to do with it?” Susan asked.

“We don’t know.” Dean shrugged.

“But, it’s possible.” I followed up, tugging on Jinx’s leash so that she would sit.

Sam sighed. “Susan, I’m sorry.”

She shook her head. “You have nothing to apologize for. You’ve given me everything.”

Tyler came down the steps, dressed in regular clothing. She had a small smile on her face as she joined her mother. Susan rubbed her back, and Tyler bent down to pet Jinx.

“Ready to go, kiddo?”

“Yeah.”

“Now, Tyler.” Dean bent down to be eye-level with her. “You’re sure Maggie’s not around anymore?”

“I’m sure.” Tyler nodded. “I’d see her.”

“I guess whatever’s going on must be over.” Dean shrugged as we followed Susan down the steps, to her taxi.

Sam held the door open for her, and Susan ushered Tyler into the cab.

“You two take care of yourselves, alright?”

Susan turned and pulled Sam into a hug, resting her head on his chest. Dean snorted, and I wheezed, pulling on a serious face and rubbing my nose when Susan pulled back.

“Thank you.” She looked at Sam, then at Dean and I. “All of you.”

We nodded as she shuffled into the taxi. Sam shut the door behind her and I laughed, covering my mouth.

“Dude, you could’ve just gotten some total MILF action.” I giggled as we began to walk.

“Ew, Ollie-”

“No, seriously, bud, I think she liked you.”

“Yeah.” Sam scoffed. “That’s all she needs.”

“Well, you saved the mom, saved the girl.” I patted Sam’s arm. “Not a bad day, bubs.”

“Course, I could’ve saved them myself, but I didn’t want you to feel useless.” Dean teased.

My heart sank as I remembered what Sam had said last night.

“Appreciate it.” Sam gave Dean a bitch face.

He sensed my shift in attitude and wrapped his arm around my shoulders, tugging me into his side.

“Feels good getting back in the saddle. Doesn’t it?” Dean grinned and pulled out the car keys.

“Yeah.” Sam sighed. “Yeah, it does.” He took his arm back and braced his hands against the top of the car. “But it doesn’t change what we talked about last night, Dean.”

My chest clenched and tears immediately welled in my eyes. I looked down and away, taking a shaky breath. I opened the back door and let Jinx settle in.

“We talked about a lot of things last night.” Dean tried to change the subject.

“You know what I mean.” Sam shook his head.

“You were wasted.” Dean scowled.

“But you weren’t. And you promised.” Sam shot back.

They looked at each other for a beat. Sam pulled the passenger door open first, and I slid into the middle seat, wrapping my arms around myself. Sam got in, slamming the door shut as Dean closed his, gently.

He started the car and glanced Sam’s way. Sam kept his eyes straight ahead as we pulled away from the inn.

Previous Ep: Hunted (2.10)

Next Ep: Nightshifter (2.12)

taglist: @i67

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applewoodprincess · 5 years ago

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Curious Cat: describing SVT personalities

J: kind and selfless to a fault, willing to sacrifice himself if it means letting the ppl he cares about flourish. he's very shy, yet at the same time, very easily excitable. he's a child at heart, but he'll only open up to ppl he is closed to. he clings to his members, seeking affection, playing pranks on them as a way to show his affection toward them. childish & clingy, but incredibly intelligent and clever. he's faced a lot of hardships, but the fact that he always holds a positive attitude is amazing. he's not greedy nor takes things for granted, he knows how to appreciate what he has, but constantly aims to ameliorate himself. he forces himself to be confident bc it helps him believe in himself in order to keep going. he's very humble about himself, but will throw a parade for his members. non-huihuis often see him as a weirdo, but i see it as him finally being comfortable enough to show us his lovable and eccentric quirks. overall, junnie is an adorable and sweet kid, who loves his members and triggers people's motherly instincts 😆 (god, i love him so much)

HS: spazzy but intense. we all know how he gets when he's excited and having fun lol. he's among the moodmakers, the one always ready to cheer you on and offer to help you. he is very kind and generous, and yes, spazzy lol. on the flip side, when it comes time to work, he is INTENSE. he's hard on himself AND his members. he knows when to stop goofing and get serious. he may be a little clueless when it comes to most things, but he's far from dumb. super passionate and determined.

WW: the hot nerd jk 😂 idk how it's possible for someone to be such a perfect blend of: confidence, intelligence, kindness, and playfulness. (not to say that the others are shallow FAR FROM IT), but wonu is just so deep? in everything he does, he puts in so much thought, carefully choosing his words and actions. he's the cool kid that gets cooler as you spend time with him. he tends to be on the quieter side (when not having fun with the rest of them), but he knows how to take charge and be assertive when he needs to. the way he cares for his members isn't obvious as some others, but it's there, subtle yet significant. something else i really appreciate from him is the amount of thoughtfulness he puts into something he knows is important--not necessarily for himself, but for others. like how he took the time to learn flower language bc fans gave him flowers, or how he continuously wore the bracelet that jun's mom gave 96z. and his determination and sheer willpower. god, that clip from HTR. he was ready to collapse, yet didn't allow himself to. the fact he was able to push forward and finish the show speaks volumes of his sense of responsibility and determination. *sigh* jeon wonu, you are the perfect man

WZ: tough marshmallow lol. bc he's strict, but also super soft and sweet! haha. if WW comes across as closed off at first sight, then WZ is basically a hermit lol. he's very shy, but he's grown to be confident and proud of what he's accomplished. of course there are still fears and worries, but he's by no means hesitant or indecisive when it comes to what he wants from his music. passionate and serious, but still sweet and caring. a man of few words, but many melodies and poems~

T8: very goal-orientated and ambitious. a realistic, but still able to dream and create beautiful art pieces that require imagination. a romantic. kind and sweet, but not overtly emotional. down to earth and practical. (the same can be said for wonhoon too but) not someone to condone BS lol. protective of his members. won't hesitate to snap back if there is injustice or unfairness. despite the serious attitude, a real loving kid.

MG: mr. perfect, with a slice of clumsiness jk 😂 a soft boy. the kind of friend you can count on. reliable and pleasant, friendly, outgoing. can get huffy at times, but it never lasts long. emotional. he just has A LOT of feels all the time about a lot of things. despite being pretty much perfect, he still strives to better himself, never letting his achievements get to his head. his clumsiness isn't limited to breaking/dropping things. some of the things he says sometimes does come across as a little tactless, but it's never with bad intentions. he's an all around GOOD BOY. very soft and gentle.

DK: the kindest soul~ most ppl see him as a little ditzy, and he does tend to be clueless and silly, but he has such a big heart. and a very good moodmaker! it's not for nothing that he's our sunshine! hahah. but he's so hardworking, too. and also super emotional. if MG channels his emotions through speeches and writing, then DK just lets his emotions flow out haha. it's raw and honest. not one to pretend or put on airs. what you see is what you get. an honest and kind boy :D

SK: sassy lol. he is such a delight tbh. one of the brightest spots in the universe. not only is he smart, he quick on his feet and can turn any situation around. sure, he nags and sasses his members, but he loves them so much??? also king at reading the mood in a room. king of entertainment. king of moodmakers. he can be loud and confident and funny and lead an entire show. but on the other hand, he is very sensitive and ALSO emotional. yes, he cries a lot lol, but he's also more likely to lash out when he's mad (which is actually hilarious to see ngl). among svt, he probably takes care of their image as idols the most lol.

VN: (anyone who comes to me with "VN stoner" comments will get smacked). he is a sweet and caring kid, mischievous at times, but doesn't have a bad bone in his entire body. yes, he's spacey, but he is true to himself and what he wants. he doesn't bend for trends or anybody's opinion, and i honestly find that admirable. even more so than josh, he is very mellow. he is much more of the listening type, but afterward, he will talk and give you his honest opinions. he doesn't mince words. very honest and true. also great supporter, even when he doesn't quite understand lol. while he seems pretty mature, the fact that he's still much a baby when it comes to everyday life is really cute.

DN: a very mature and independent young man. in a way, i think he's quite similar to Hao, with how he is very ambitious and strives to do/learn more and more, to hone in his skills. very passionate, too. he is very responsible and capable of taking the lead, which he does when it comes to dancing (only second to HS). he acts like a hyung lol (and you can see it pretty clearly in the way he and jun interact). i think he has an easier time being the maknae nowadays lol. a reliable young man full of passion!

oh, man. this is a huge essay 😅 i'm sorry it's so long! and i'm probably forgetting a bunch of details for each member, so pls don't get mad at me 🙏😭 these are just my own personal thoughts about each of them, even if they're lacking. all in all, we are very lucky to have 13 wonderful, kind, and talented young men.

ahhh thank you, my dear! please take care and stay safe, too! hopefully this is satisfactory 😅

(i should have ch. 17 out in a few days. thank you for the wait!) xoxoxo

#curious cat #curious cat answered #personal #swanny #swanny_writer

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soupncrackwrs · 5 years ago

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Okay so I had an idea for an AFTG fic but again I’m horrible at anything that isn’t hc’s so here we are (feel free to make this into a fic if you want just credit me) *Also all pairing in this are platonic besides andreil and mattdan soo, don’t like get out*

This spawned from that fact that one of my 3 PTP’s (platonic trust pairing) in AFTG is Kev and Neil

This is probably my PTP that has the most popularity in the fandom I’d say (my other 2 are Renee/Andrew/Neil and Neil/Dan which are both *really* hard to find ((at least on ao3)) so that sucks) but you’d be surprised how little it gets like actually focused on

Most times, platonic wise, Neil gets shown bonding with The MonstersTM, Allison, or Matt

wHICH IS FINE IM TOTALLY OKAY W/ THAT

I just happen to enjoy neil/dan, kev/neil,and renee/andrew/neil more

So I wanted a fic that really showcased kev and neils relationship

BUT IM ALSO IN LOVE WITH OUSIDER POV SO THIS HAPPENED

Now onto the actual headcanon

So neil and kevin are like best friends

They've been like that for a while

but they also like fucking despise each other

like they love and care deeply for each other and would probably die for the other if the situation called for it

but will that stop them from almost killing each other 24/7?

HELL NO

so they go to college together

along with all the upperclassmen (so matt+dan+allison+renee+seth) but not the monsters

andrew and neil have been together for a bit

they met around the same time kev and neil did so they've been together for a while (also while we're talking abt relationships, i don't ship renison ((am i the only one who believes that renee is a strong aro gal who don't need no man/lady/person)) but if you wanna make this renison, go ahead)

andrew goes to a different college tho ( for some reason i dunno)

and neil doesn't really like sharing stuff abt his personal life

we all know this

but a lot of the stuff he's done in his life involves andrew

so drew is brought up a fair amount

but when the upperclassmen ask who he is neil kinda just smiles and then moves on so they ask kevin and he's like

oh andrew is like one of my bffls he's a ride or die

(obviously not phrased like that)

and the upperclassmen r like 'ok he can be trusted he's a friend'

(little do they know hehhehhe-)

sO ONE DAY

kev is tryna forget all his issues

so he decides to get hella pissed

wasted like he's never been b4

probably cause thea broke up w/ him last week but we don't talk abt that okay shhhhhhh

so he goes to the next party alli throws and

let's say it together kids

gets wasted like he's never been b4

to the point where the upperclassmen don't really know wht to do with him????

so they call up neil like yo pick up kev he's drunk off his ass like always but we think he's doing it cause he's sad this time'

so neil, being the good and sweet angel (not) that he is

goes to pick up kevin

and like he finds him on a coach almost catatonic just rambling to himself

so neil picks him up and drags him away to his car

and ofc all the upperclassmen r trying to help

so while neil is putting kevin into his car kev randomly just stops talking

(which is weird cause he's kept rambling this entire time)

and he looks neil in the eyes and goes

'i love you neil'

and neil just like takes a second

pAuSeS

because he's not used to people showing him love even tho so many ppl rlly do love him (this boy is2g-)

and then quietly says

'love you too kev'

and finishes buckling him up

all the upperclassmen have been watching this going on the entire time and they read into in the exact wrong way

(they're trying their best, my baby dumbasses, but they're just wrong)

and think this is a romantic love confession between frenimies *instead* of the declaration of mutual respect and affection between 2 bro's that it is

matt is the first one to voice this after kev and neil leave and he is

PUMPED

he is super excited that his bro has found someone to love just like he found dan and is super excited to like talk abt love and go on double dates n stuff

and every one else agrees

which is why they're all super disappointed that by the time a week goes by, nothing has changed between them

so dan matt and allison decide to do something about it (renee+seth ducking out because'it's rude to meddle' and 'why tf would i care abt jostens love bullshit')

they try to set up kevin and neil a bunch of different time s

once with the offer of a study session that they all say they can't make it to, leaving neil and kevin alone

another time with the offer of kevin and neil going to the movies w/ matt and dan

(neil ends up busy w/ a skype date with andrew that he can't pass up cause they're always so busy and he has to see his boyf so kevin just ends up 3rd wheeling matt and dan)

and once with allison straight up just telling neil that he and kevin should get coffee some time

which neil respond to with

'we already get coffee together?'

so dan matt and alli are stumped

they don't know what to do with these 'lovesick' idiots

they're problem gets solved tho don't you worry

so the next weekend, andrew is gonna come over to psu and stay for like a week

neil is oVER THE MOON

HE IS SOO HAPPYYYYY

And kevin is really happy too

so the upperclassmen take this to mean that these boys have finally gotten the hint and asked each other out

so imagine they're suprise when the next time the group goes to get lunch (which they do with each other every wednesday )

a super short blond emo joins them

and no one really acknowledges it?!?!?!?!?!?

until renee is just like 'hello andrew, how are you?' knowing smile on her face

and the upperclassmen are just like 'oh it's the famous andrew, that makes sense' but then they're like 'wait how does renee know andrew?!?!'

they ask and renee is just like 'neil gave me his discord. he thought we'd get along well'

-and then they're just like okayyy renee totally has a crush but well let it slideee

uNTIL

at the end of lunch neil is just like 'oh wait i never properly introduced him-' -cause you're a mess, junkie' -fuck off andrew' then just turns to the upperclassmen and says

'guys this is my boyfriend andrew'

and the foxes just silently freak out

because neil is in love with kevin? it's so clear? why did neil go and get a boyf when he has his love right in front of him??????

so after lunch, matt dan and alli ask to talk to neil privately

(andrew, kev,and renee all talk together while seth like, looks at his phone)

and they're like 'neil why'd you get a boyf??'

and neils like 'wdym?'

and alli says 'why'd you get a boyf if your so obviously in love w/ kevin?!'

and neil just LAUGHS at them

straight up cackles

and then the upperclassmen are like whaaaaattttt????

we saw your declaration of love at the party??

and you're both really close and seem to genuinely like and be interested in each other??

what gives????

and neils like

'me n kev are besties

that was a platonic declaration of love

also

i'm demi and me and drew have been together for like 3 years now'

and the upperclassmen are just like 'ooooooooooooooooohhhhhh sorryyyyyyyyy'

it's the first time alli has ever lost a bet (it was w/ seth abt neils feelings for kevin)

neil tells andrew abt it and the shortie just snorts and is like 'kevin would fuck a racket quicker than he'd fuck you'

neil is like 'i'm basically exy personified tho, soooooo'

drew tells him to shut up

(he does when andrew asks yes or no, just nods his head and smiles)

renee knew all along and is happy for her friends

kevin just wants to play exy he's been deprived the entire post

So yeah that's the entire headcanon. If you want some music to listen to while you write or just in general i recommend "I lost a Friend" by FINNEAS and "Corduroy Dreams" by Rex Orange County. they don't really have anything to do with the story, they're just real good :) Thanks for reading. see y'all later

#Spotify #aftg fandom #aftg au #andreil #psu foxes #outsider pov #headcanon #fanfic #sorry for the long post #thanks for coming to my ted talk #im gonna stop now #aight peace

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andysnorwayaffairs · 5 years ago

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Final Project

Pt 1; a perfect ending. feeling a rush of shared excitement - finally! just like me!

warmth, embraced, a queer kind of friendship. we sat in the grass and talked about how our lives were growing up, how our queerness was realized and how it affected the way we walk in the world. our stories are so similar yet so, so different. miles and miles of time away, you announce to your friends that you’re probably maybe gay. you start a spark in their minds, and soon after you’re deemed the trail blazer of coming out. you are brave, do you know it? you were the person who i wished for. so desperate for approval from others, and not meeting anyone like you, i took it upon myself to starve my queerness, the differentness, the part of me that i knew i could definitely be hated for. and i can’t stand the thought of being hated. and a part of me hated myself for who i was. i was taught that i couldn’t love like that, that it wasn’t *real*, that anything other than normal is impossible, wrong, destructive. so i listened, and i believed them. not completely, that is also true. that’s why i never stopped immersing myself in online queer culture, why i desperately searched for any sign of queerness in the online personas i followed and in the fiction that i read. we talked about this too, how we’d entrench ourselves in media and later realize that we were part of the group we were so obsessed with. finally... just like me

you opened your heart so quickly - your friends, they tell me that they’re so happy that you’ve met me. you open a window into your life and lend a hand to help me hop in. i see how you love others, and how they love you. we run through the lawn of a backyard riddled with ripe fruit and laugh like children at how sweet the juice is. we share a meal and spend hours talking about nothing and everything. i sometimes stop and listen to the chatter, and i feel complete warmth even when i cannot understand what is being said. we read the cards i brought and i learn how each of you sees love. i see the way you interact with your loved ones, the way you so deeply care to spend time with them. letting go, giggling in giddy joy, acting like absolute fools. finally, just like me

cried a farewell last night

thank you for offering me a bizarre, unfair amount of kindness

thank you for showing me a glimpse of your life, your entire world

thank you for extending a hand in friendship, in solidarity

thank you for being my friend

I feel like my time here, my glimpse into another person’s life, feels like a glimpse into an alternate timeline. A timeline in which I accepted myself from the beginning. A timeline in which I told a friend about my crush on Jen from Buzzfeed. A timeline when I refused to normalize myself, refused to uphold the boundaries that were unfairly placed on me. A timeline when I was brave. A timeline when I stopped being so damn scared. A timeline when I realized that my friends would still stay friends with me, and those who didn’t want to, I should let go of anyways. There will always be people who don’t match up with your values, your energies, your being. I won’t lie to myself and say that it wouldn’t hurt like a bitch, but it’s a hard fact of life that homophobes, transphobes, racists, xenophobes, ie bigots exist and there will be always be bullies and people who don’t care about you, who WANT to put you down, who want to hurt you. In a world of power, there will be those with some and those without. I was given a small window into my friend’s life and saw a life pathway built around friendships who learn and grow right alongside you. I’ve always thought about that – what if? What if I let go earlier? In my timeline, the forces around me were not as kind to me. I was told queerness was ugly, so utterly upside down. I didn’t have anyone to tell me otherwise. Perhaps if I had a positive role model to tell me that it WAS okay, that it was beautiful and wonderful. Perhaps if I had a friend like them in my life who was the first to come out and encouraged others by simply living their life the way THEY want to, perhaps I would have had the courage to do so earlier. I can’t change the past.

But I can think about how the events of my past shaped my present, and how my present shapes my future. Thank God - I DID let go! There’s no race to live your truth, but oh god it feels so good to do it NOW. I’m so thankful that I found the bravery these people I know now have embraced so many years ago. I feel like my own person, like an entire human soul. I don’t feel the need to please anyone. This queer experience, of finding yourself and maybe even fearing yourself, but, ultimately, coming to love yourself despite dominant society failing you, that is a queer experience. Regardless of any experience, something we all share is having to live in a world that ultimately does not accept us, does not want us.

An ode to knowing that although things are different here, and that there’s no possible way that I could have had a similar timeline just simply because of how different our spheres and worlds are... despite this, despite the fear and self hate and internal violence I was forced into because of the life I was born into, despite all of this, I was still able to find myself and love myself and find others who love me for my whole humanness.

There’s a lot of work to be done in the world, for our lives and our safety and our happiness. I think the friends I’ve met here are doing that work. Through their love for each other and thus their refusal to conform, to stay quiet, to accept the norms in place.

Meeting this special friend may have been completely chance, but I believe fate had a little bit to do with it too. To give me this window, to let me see what beauty it is to allow a person to be themselves. The sooner, the better.

____ DISCUSSION

Pt 3:

It’s funny to see how these ppl’s reflections of their lives fit in line with exactly what we discussed through our readings and class discussions. Norway may be progressive in law, but not necessarily in practice. Each of the queer people I asked this about, or asked them to speak about their queer experience, expressed frustration at there not being much of a strong queer community here, and how they still experienced everyday oppression (you may call these micro aggressions).

Nordic model of inclusion + welfare, making this a space where it is looked down upon to discriminate for someone’s sexuality

A different relationship to Christianity

In the U.S., I grew up in a heavily queerphobic, heavily strict and monitored environment where I was even monitoring myself, reprimanding myself for all of the gay content I was consuming but allowing myself to keep doing it because I was “outside” of the community and thus could not be associated with it or have to think of the consequences.

In middle school I was fully aware that I had strong crushes on gay female celebrities but was petrified of sharing that information with anyone.

I shut myself down immediately, but continued to consume gay, lgbt, and trans media for years and years after, allowing myself to do this because I could convince myself that I was just “a straight girl” who was a big fan of the community.

After coming to college and experiencing true freedom from the expectations and values placed on me, it took me less than three days to come to the realization that I was in fact, extremely not straight. It took me 6 more months to fully feel comfortable admitting to myself and claiming the label that I was gay. It took me another year to “come out” to all of my friends and folx I really cared about.

-talk about how this is a divide between my experience and the experiences of the friends I made here. L & their friends came out when they were extremely young, in middle school actually. Our timelines diverge here.

Only recently, I began to make friends on the shared experience of our queerness. Meeting my close friends now, sharing intimate + tender moments. Loving each other and supporting one another the way family might do. A queer kind of love shared in these emotional bonds. A kind of love I had not experienced before my full acceptance and life as a queer person. Tender, radical love.

Meeting L, sharing on our experience of being queer and trans. And not to say that their life in Norway is so much better. The Nordic model may allow for some general acceptance, but queerphobia still has its roots in other malicious ways. Many of L’s friends still don’t use their pronouns. A is called the slur version of the word lesbian, and she recognizes that being a lesbian is not favorable to society. She wants to be a prof of gender studies at her uni but told me that since there is already one queer person on staff, she’ll never be hired on.

M telling me about how even tho queer ppl are accepted on the outside, and in the law, in practice, not so much.

-A telling me that people hate lesbians

-in Norwegian, the word for lesbian is also really similar to the slur, “fucking lesbian”

CONNECTION TO THE FIRST ARTICLE WE READ

Norway’s state feminism and inclusion of queerness is heteronormative, only assimilating those that fit into the family, hetero model (thinking to naked sculpture park, extremely family oriented)

Same sex has to still be straight – family, private, culturally straight.

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diaryofanormalkid · 6 years ago

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I saw my work husband today! 😩😍😍

It was when I was going down to get stock. So I was listening to music out loud and I thought to myself that I should change the song. Just a few seconds after I changed the song, I saw him!

“No Tears Left to Cry” by Ariana Grande was playing when we passed by each other. He was wearing his regular clothes with his uniform in hand so I assume he was just arriving at work.

WE MADE EYE CONTACT THOUGH!!! I was trying my best not to act awkward or have a mean mugging face while making eye contact because I know how I get when I see hot ppl.

Lemme just SAY, he is SOOO fine. Like I’m still not used to it yet. I think he was wearing grey sweatpants and had I got to see him for longer, ya girls thoughts would’ve been wild!

Lord forgive me 😩 but damn, I can’t get over how fine he is. Anyways, after we passed each other I was sooo happy I literally jumped up in the air for joy.

I couldn’t believe I was seeing him this early into my shift, mind you it was only an hour in. Anddd let’s not forget the eye contact. IK that’s not a big deal to y’all probably, but it is for ME.

So a little while later I saw him AGAIN while on cash. I glimpsed that turquoise blue uniform and instantly I knew it was him without even looking up. To be fair, I couldn’t.

I was trying sooo hard not to act nervous while I waited for him to cash out his stuff. He was taking a while to get his things, so I didn’t know whether I should leave the cash or wait for him to come.

I decided to leave and keep myself preoccupied with something in the meantime while I waited for him to come and cash out his things. Of course, just a few moments after I leave he comes over though.

I turned my head to look back just in time to see him standing at the cash waiting for me, so I walked over. He said something to me and I think from shock of him speaking to me I was unable to hear him.

So I go, “hmm?” Instead of using real words, mostly out of nervousness and, again, from shock. He repeated himself and I was able to make out that he was asking me, “this side?”

He meant this side as in, was he at the right cash, in which I responded, “yep.” Once I arrived at the cash, full nerves kicked in and I didn’t know what to do with myself.

Obviously there was nothing else to do but my job, but I couldn’t help but feel so anxious. I totaled up his items and they came up to $11.48. That I remember, clear as day oddly.

He had got a veggie burger with fries and a tea. So healthy 😩 I was lowkey judging him but like I definitely did not let it show on my face in this time of concentration.

I also remember me screwing up verbally telling him his total by saying $11.45 instead of $11.48. That isn’t the correct rounding, obvs. I hope he didn’t peep my tiny mistake though, I was already anxious enough as it is.

He proceeded to tell me he would use MasterCard to pay for his order and went ahead and tapped his card I’d entered it in the debit machine.

After he tapped, I asked if he’d like a receipt and then he said no. So then he told me to have a good day and I said very inaudibly “you too.” 😩

YOU TOO?? Seriously britney?

You couldn’t have done ANY better than that? Guys, this is me, the Britney who is the most friendly and social cashier, has 15/10 customer service skills, remains professional even when provoked/irritated/sleepy.

Has superb problem solving skills in times of difficulty and can arise to the challenges that her workplace has to offer! And yet, all I gave him was a “you too?”

Oh my gosh, I was so disappointed in myself!!! I know I can do so much better with regular people, but this was no regular person! This is what I meant when I said he’s TOO fine!

My work husband is the only person who gets me all flustered like this. The only other person has been my baby boo crush but many of you new followers don’t even know about him.

He’s a long time crush that I haven’t seen in probably over two years now and probably never will see again, sadly. But if I did see him again, promise, I think he’d be making moves.

And if not him, I would! Because I’m telling you that boy would show interest majority of the time and I’m so mad at myself for not reciprocating in the slightest while he was still here.

Because now he’s gone and I have to deal with never knowing what that could’ve blossomed into. This is why you can’t take moments for granted. So I need to do better with my work husband.

I’m hoping I get a next time with him to make so much more progress because I could’ve talked to him about the raptors game, or his week, ANYTHING. It doesn’t matter, as long as I talk!

Idk I’m good like that. There’s something about customers that makes me so confident where I’m able to talk to them without feeling conscious or insecure or down about myself.

I just feel like a completely different girl at work. Ppl like me. Ppl think I’m beautiful and polite and friendly and helpful and caring and compassionate and so many other things.

They see me as somebody completely different than how I’ve seen myself my whole life, that all the good things about me get displayed all in one place it seems.

And it’s like... why can’t I just direct all of that energy towards my work husband too? Show him that sweet, witty, charming side of me? Flirt a little? Why do I always shut down?

He’s just a person. That’s what I like to say sometimes when I see him. But he’s such an attractive person. It’s so hard for me to separate him from others and just treat him the same.

I always want to go above and beyond. But it never works! I’m gonna try harder, but not too hard to where it’s forced and he can tell that I’m nervous to talk to him.

He doesn’t need to know I’m nervous to talk to him. I just want to flirt a little. Build some kind of rapport. But idk, something about today seemed different to me though.

The fact that he even talked to me??? I was like “uhhh are you finally making a move? Or just being friendly?! Make it more clear!” Because he was never responsive to me before ever.

Maybe I’m REACHING but what if he’s nervous to talk to me too? And he just built up the confidence to talk to me today? LOL I honestly want this to be true so bad but I don’t think it is.

A girl can dream though. But when I saw him that first time today even, I was hella shook he even made eye contact. Like God, thank youuu 😍 that made my whole entire day.

Regardless of what was happening during my shift, I was so happy. While he was sitting down to eat his food, I could see where he was sitting from where my cash was.

It was nice because he could see me if I walked by and I could see him, since he was facing my direction. It even looked like one of the times that he was looking at me when I looked over.

That’s not to get my hopes up, but he was definitely looking in my direction. That whole time I was in such a good mood because he was there.

And then when he was going to leave, he passed by behind me and I didn’t look but as he was leaving, I could already feel myself starting to miss him. I wanted him to stay longer so bad.

But my whole shift, my mind kept wandering to him and thinking, “when is he coming back?” “Will he even come back?” “Am I gonna get to see him again?”

I went downstairs a total of four times just in hopes that I would see him again. Obviously I was also doing work, but two out of those 4 trips were me volunteering to go down.

I didn’t end up seeing him for the rest of the night, but just knowing that I could possibly run into him at any second, I was super anxious/happy at the same time.

Definitely kept me on edge, in a good way. Like I was playing music the entire shift after I saw him just so I could “impress” him with my diverse taste.

Idk though, today was great. He obviously made my entire shift. Like I was actually super tired today, aside from him being there. If it weren’t for him, I’d have been dragging my foot this shift.

I really loved the way things panned out overall. Like i felt a shift in vibes on his end, for the better. But maybe that’s me just hoping for the best or reading in on his actions too much.

I have a hard time reading him though. He’s super mysterious. Like his expressions aren’t very telling of what’s going on in his head. Even the way he looked at me today, I was like “???”

As for the last time I saw him, when I was playing music, I couldn’t tell what he was thinking of me. He was so expressionless/unresponsive.

That’s probably why I am surprised he even talked to me today!

#work husband #crush #dear diary #diary #personal.#personal #crushes #baby boo

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