#manuriosmademedoit

[voidstilesplease]

Because "Thank you for being my first true love" is driving me nuts AU

Patrick heard him coming before he saw him. In the short months they'd been together, he got pretty attuned to the sound Ivan made when he walked - Patrick could almost always tell when it was him coming. Ivan had this habit of scraping the sole of his shoes against the ground - announcing his presence wherever he went. Even barefooted, he found a way to be loud in his steps. Patrick had woken up many nights to Ivan getting out of bed to pee, drink water, or snack on leftover Pad thai. Sometimes more than once in one night. Sometimes Ivan fell right back to sleep while Patrick struggled to do the same, and sometimes Ivan stayed awake until the early morning with him.

It would be a while before he stopped missing those sleepless nights.

"Waiting for me?"

Patrick looked up from the bench. Ivan still had a little plaster on his head from the accident, but overall, he looked well and healthy enough to come back to school. Ivan was smiling at Patrick, and though he could tell it didn't reach his eyes, Patrick still had a sense of deja vu the first time they were in this position so many months ago. How different was the situation, then.

Patrick managed to pull a small smile, leaning against the bench and nodding at Ivan's question. With honesty, he said, "I wasn't sure you'd come."

"I wasn't sure I'd come, either."

Patrick chuckled faintly, at a loss on how to respond to that. He knew it was only fair - he couldn't force Ivan to talk to him if he didn't want to. They weren't good with words, anyway. They always seemed to find the wrong ones in the worst moments. But Patrick couldn't imagine leaving it like a loose thread. Ivan wasn't one of those guys in his life - better cut off and forgotten. Ivan was someone he would tie gently around the tip and lay in a box for safekeeping.

The silence was heavy between them, but Ivan broke it with a sigh as he moved his feet - scraping his shoes against the cement - and sat on the bench parallel to Patrick. He couldn't stop the twinge in his chest when Ivan refused to meet his gaze. 

Such a shame. Patrick always relied on Ivan's eyes to know what he felt - to understand what he wasn't saying. It would be a while to get over those eyes, too.

"What time are you leaving?" Ivan's voice was so low that it was almost a whisper when he spoke.

"The flight leaves at eight," Patrick replied obligingly. "But we have to be at the airport at least two hours before."

Ivan nodded, clenching his fingers around the strap of his backpack.

It was a fine day. Patrick was sure there were plenty of students out of the campus, going about their routine, but it felt as if they were alone in their little bench, removed from the concealed chaos of Las Encinas. Patrick couldn't remember the last time he'd had a peaceful day at school, especially after his father's arrest. But of all the days to be kind to him, he was grateful that it was today.

"Ivan-" he started but was immediately interrupted.

"What did you want to say to me that you haven't already, Patrick?"

Ivan's tone wasn't harsh. But Patrick was hurt by the dismissal all the same. 

"Plenty," he answered. "There's plenty more, Ivan. But time isn't our friend. And the odds aren't in our favor." Patrick looked as Ivan's throat bobbed, and his expression tightened. "So all I have now are my goodbyes. Won't you let me say them?"

Ivan shook his head, gaze far away into the sky. "I've had more goodbyes than I could handle in the span of a few months, Patrick," he chuckled with no humor. "If you give me one more, I'm not sure my heart could take it."

Patrick's chest throbbed at the crack in Ivan's voice. Even without looking at his eyes, Patrick could only imagine the pain in them. The wound from his loss was recent. It needed to heal. But Patrick knew from experience that it never really heals completely. It was just a matter of living with it.

"If I leave," he took a moment to swallow around the lump in his throat. "Without saying anything, would I make it easier for you?" If Ivan said yes, Patrick wouldn't force it. He would fold his cards, get up at once, and turn his back. Ivan had been so patient and understanding with his insecurities. It was only fitting to return the gesture.

From his position, Patrick could see the mist starting to form in Ivan's eyes. Still, Ivan refused to look at him. He scoffed, shaking his head. "There's no easy way to love you, Patrick. What makes you think there's an easy way to lose you?"

Patrick was surprised by the vulnerability with which he said it. He knew Ivan had always been loyal to him, sincere to the core. But it still managed to get him off-kilter when he said things like that. Patrick wasn't used to hearing those words said about him. He didn't think he ever would. 

Cautiously, Patrick reached out to touch Ivan's thigh. He only relaxed when his touch met no resistance. "Eventually," he spoke, "you'll find someone who deserves you, Ivan. And you'll look back on this day and thank me for letting you go." Patrick wasn't sure if it was for Ivan, or for himself. Maybe more for him. It was easier to leave knowing Ivan had a better chance now at love - preferably with someone less damaged, less fucked in the head.

"You always underestimated my feelings for you, Patrick." Ivan whispered, looking down at Patrick's hand. "You never understood how deeply I care for you."

Patrick shook his head, "Ivan-"

"I said so many things to you that I regret," Ivan rushed on, cutting him off again. "But they could never be unsaid. The hurt on your face will always haunt me, and I will spend sleepless nights going over my head all the 'what ifs', the 'maybes'... but they could never undo what already happened." Ivan paused to take a breath, to unclench his fingers and lay them on top of his. His forehead creased, smarting his lip as he slipped his fingers into Patrick's. "It kills me that I made you believe I can just move on from you."

Patrick closed his eyes momentarily to hold back his emotions. He relished in the intimacy that naturally came between them, but it was difficult to breathe when everything from his chest up wanted to burst. He planned a quick goodbye to Ivan. He wasn't prepared for Ivan saying goodbye to him.

When he opened his eyes, Ivan was finally looking at him, eye to eye. He didn't bother concealing his tears, or reigning them in. "Perhaps, Patrick," Ivan started, voice hitching, "It's you that will evidently find someone who deserves you more than I ever will."

Patrick exhaled a shaky breath, watching in slow motion as Ivan's other hand cupped the back of his neck with a tenderness that could only be Ivan. He waited in anticipation as Ivan's face inched closer, as their noses touched and warm breaths mingled. He slid his eyes shut as Ivan's lashes brushed against his cheeks, angling their faces for their lips to press together in a familiar kiss.

Kissing, for Patrick, used to mean the beginning of something - a heavy session of getting off, a battle of dominance, a victory dance against anyone who thought they could resist him. He didn't know it could also mean the end of something. He didn't know a kiss could wound him this much. He didn't know a kiss could taste sweet, bitter, and salty at the same time.

When they broke the kiss, Ivan didn't immediately let go of Patrick's face. He caressed Patrick with his thumb, held his face like a precious gem inside his hands. When Patrick looked up, he realized the saltiness in his lips came from Ivan.

Between them, Ivan had always been the one who cried freely. Patrick always found it adorable under the security of their blanket inside Ivan's room and the soft glare of the television. He found it brave in more than one occasion. Including now.

"It'll be you, Patrick," Ivan said against his lips. "Who will look back on this day and thank me for letting you go."

They stayed in the same position for minutes - days, months, years, who could even tell - just holding each other for the last time.

Eventually, they had to break apart. Patrick's phone buzzed with a message from Mencia. We have to get ready, it said. Patrick wiped his face, and Ivan followed, sniffing into the sleeve of his uniform.

At last, Patrick rose from the bench, pocketing his phone and straightening his clothes. Ivan was looking at him with red-rimmed eyes.

He cleared his throat, "I have to go."

Ivan nodded, trying his hardest to smile.

"Ivan, I just want to-" Patrick paused to wet his lips as Ivan waited patiently for him to find his words. "Thank you," he decided to say in the end, feeling the tightness in his chest start to unfurl. So, this was how it felt to tie loose ends. "Thank you for being my first true love."

Ivan stared as Patrick turned his back and began walking away. He realized he could breathe better with every step he took. Saying goodbye was sometimes for the best.

"Patrick,"

He halted, looking over his shoulder at the only reason he could never regret Las Encinas despite all that it had taken from him.

Ivan was still sitting on the bench. It didn't look like he was going to leave anytime soon.

"Thank you," he echoed Patrick's words, smiling more genuinely through the strain. "For being my first true love."

When Patrick was inside the taxi that would take him away from Las Encinas for the last time, he looked back just as Ivan was getting up.

As Ivan walked away, back into a life without him in it, Patrick could almost hear the scrape of his shoes against the ground. He smiled.

---

I don't know what got into me. I just started... writing. I'm still bad at it, but I couldn't resist. I also put it on AO3.

[voidstilesplease]

if ari didn't kiss ivan back and been at least faithful to samu, ivan would have respected that and they wouldn't have had sex on the boat that patrick would catch them doing that would, in turn, prompt him to accept the attention ivan's dad was giving to him. that was proven when he turned down cruz after the first night with ivan.

but why did he end up sleeping with cruz anyway?

because even after the first night with patrick, ivan still flirted with ari and ari was too much of a traitor to turn him down. so they had sex for the second time the same night patrick went home with cruz that ivan ended up catching them in the middle of.

if ari had turned him down, ivan wouldn't have insisted because by then he had already accepted that he had feelings for patrick and even confessed to his dad about it. but as it was, ivan shouldn't have flirted with ari, too. but since they were both idiots, they went and had sex anyway pretending it was just enjoying a last night together as if samu being in jail meant they weren't cheating on him again.

but, tbf, if cruz hadn't sabotaged his own son, patrick would have been ivan's date and not ari. but then, he was too much of a traitor too, and a traitor who was gagging for patrick since the night it almost happened between them.

even if ari and ivan didn't leave together, cruz would have still told patrick that ivan liked her more than he liked him. and since ivan won ari, which meant ivan bid on her even after the wonderful night patrick and ivan had together, patrick would've still went home with cruz believing that it was true, that ivan chose ari.

so, who's to blame really? on the grand scheme of things, they all are. if patrick didn't fall head over heels... if ivan didn't act very yes homo despite all his no homos... if patrick maybe toned down his intensity... if ivan wasn't so scared of his sexuality... etc. etc.

but in order to reach a conclusion, i would look at who made the first crime. and that first crime was ari cheating on samu in episode 4 the same time she was betraying her brother.

so there

Been thinking the entire day about who I really feel is to blame for the Ari/Ivan/Patrick/Cruz situation...both Patrick and Ivan acted immature but how messed up must you be to

a) sleep with your brother's crush who he has deep feelings for, just because you're bored and feel neglected

b) sleep with your son's crush who he has deep feelings for, just because you feel like acting on your bi-curiosity

[voidstilesplease]

Patrivan Drives Me Nuts, And Here's Why: Part 9

S5E6: Can't Buy My Love [prev, first]

->Because Ivan Is A Raging Patrick-sexual (And So Is His Dad)

Whew! It has been a while, hasn't it? But, well, life happened and all. But now that Season 6 comes out in less than a week, I figured I should continue this little series. Hitting two birds with one stone by rewatching the latter episodes of S5. It's starting to feel like a preparation for the next season.

Anyway, let's talk about the first third of Episode 6: THE DINNER.

But before we go to the actual dinner scene between Ivan and Cruz, let's backtrack a bit to Ivan and Ari's conversation by the dock.

So, she's crying, right? She just came to see Samu, and it didn't really go well, now, did it? But, yes, Ivan sees her and being the good lad he is, offers her his companionship. They talk about Samu and how Ari feels guilty for hurting him (ahem, cheating on him) and not having the ability to help. Ivan, being the sweet guy he is, sympathizes with Ari (even though he did actively help her cheat on her boyfriend), especially after she confirms that she loves Samu so much she won't ever want to be away from him when he gets out.

Now, Ivan supposedly likes Ari, right? But he's also an understanding, supportive, gentle person that even though the girl he 'likes' is talking about how much she loves her boyfriend, he sits through it, smiles at her, and even offers to help her get the bail money for her boyfriend from his football superstar dad.

I don't normally like editing anything with Ari in it (I can't stand her), but this one is important. I'm going to use this again as a comparison in a future post for the third part of Episode 6. But for now, just look at how darling Ivan is. "Because if you're happy, Ari, then I am too." Ahh *happy sigh* Sounds like a dream boy everyone would be gushing about to their best friend - handsome, patient, kindhearted, and puts others' feelings before his own. There's no jealousy in the way he says it at all, just compassion. And for this, I commend Ivan. (But the flip side of this? Is even better. I CAN'T WAIT TO TALK ABOUT THAT.)

Right. So onto the dinner with his dad. Cruz makes small talk, urging Ivan to share his thoughts, and Ivan obligingly admits that yes, everything is great and that he's happy with what's been going in his life at the moment.

Cruz immediately perks up at the positive response and starts poking Ivan for information. "How come? Huh? Huh?" And I bet he immediately regrets his decision when he hears what Ivan reveals next:

There's also a wonderful gifset of this scene by @andrelamoglia that you can find here and it's just *chef's kiss*

Ivan's smile recedes pretty quickly following the question "Really? Who is she?". Like, 'Oh, right. It's supposed to be a she, isn't it?'. But he soldiers on. It's the perfect opportunity to come out and confess his newly-accepted sexuality to his dad. After all, his dad is one of the cool ones, right? Who doesn't have a problem with homosexuality, and even hangs out with gay people in his parties. Surely, it won't be a big deal if his son isn't 100% straight?

Of course, Cruz doesn't have a problem with Ivan being less than 100% straight, that much is for sure. But why is his reaction much like he's horrified to be hearing this conversation at all? Well, my friends, it's because of THIS:

Because OF COURSE, it's Patrick. Cruz has connected it inside his head during Ivan's silence but he doesn't want to process it. But who else could it be? Cruz's expression is like a mix of denial, disbelief, and horror in the entirety of this confession that it's a little bit funny, but not for homophobic reasons, like some would say.

I mean, do any of you think Cruz would look progressively panicked by the second if Ivan were talking about literally any other boy apart from Patrick? I don't think so. Their table is very Patrick-charged from both father and son it's hilarious.

AND when Ivan mentions being with Patrick at home, Cruz immediately understands that it's on the same night Patrick failed to show up to his room. And he's also likely connected it to when they spoke in Las Encinas and Patrick rejected Cruz with an excuse that he wasn't in the right headspace for any further relationship (sexual or otherwise) with him, and that it was also risky for Cruz's career. He likely realized that it wasn't really because of the things Patrick said, but because he was getting it on with his son Ivan. And it's not sitting with him well for selfish reasons. It's actually a little awkward watching the scene knowing exactly why Cruz is reacting this way. Because he's kinda shitty, hugely jealous, and completely lusting after Patrick. Just - the look on his face, you know?

Can't blame him but still. The nerve of this guy to try and convince his son to focus on Ari and forget Patrick BECAUSE HE WANTS HIM FOR HIMSELF is shocking. Truly. Like holy crap level. But damn if it isn't brilliantly messy. (I've been saying this a lot, but I'll say it again. I'm not as wholly opposed to Cruz's involvement with Patrick as I am with Ari and Ivan. Just because.)

But back to Ivan and the title of this post, Ivan not only confesses that he is not as 100% heterosexual as he previously believed, but also that his attraction to males is very singular and specific. Tall, brunette, green eyes to die for, confidence bigger than Las Encinas, ass 'better than most girls', makes his world right again, fits into his life like a missing puzzle piece.

Now. I can't blame Ivan for getting upset when Cruz insists for him to go after Ari. Even though he just literally told him that she has a boyfriend. Even though the way he described his 'feelings' for Ari is a far cry from how he described his feelings for Patrick. Even though the way he said "I feel great when I'm with him" should have been a dead giveaway that there's no point pursuing Ari because she's not the one making him feel the great things.

No, I can't blame Ivan for walking out of there thinking Cruz is pushing him to Ari because he can't accept his sexuality. It is a really disappointing reaction after such a confession, yes? But we all know how Ivan's going to be even more upset when he finds out the real reason his father wants him to chase after Ari.

And let's talk about that in the next post!

(Y'all, the pink party, dude. DUDE. "You bid for him so that I wouldn't win?" OHHHH, the absolute drama. I can't wait.)

[voidstilesplease]

Patrivan Drives Me Nuts, And Here's Why: Part 3

part 1, part 2

->Because Ivan is Heteroconfused

S5E2: Anything Goes

Patrick: "Where did you leave your unwavering heterosexuality?"

I fucking love this scene agdhdjsns. Cheeky, cheeky, Patrick 🤭. This is just one more proof that he's not buying into the "Not Gay" bs from ep1. Anyway-

I don't believe Ivan is necessarily lying, though. But I believe that it's also not entirely true. We have this saying that 'action speaks louder than words', right? Well, Ivan's actions are observably not exactly complementing his words.... 🤨🤔

I say, he's confused. I can't claim that Ivan always had this confusion, but what's for certain, is that he has it now - because of Patrick. And he's not fully conscious of it - at least until after this episode or the next. It's all fun and games to him. Let's say, he was only harmlessly teasing Patrick in episode one: "Imma strip naked in your face but I'm straight." "Imma flirt with you in the boys' showers but I'm straight." "Imma do the honor of undressing you down to your undies but I'm straight." "Imma grab your ass and sing praises to it but I'm straight." "Imma cuddle with you in my bed but.... you guessed it, I'm straight." FINE. Again, Ivan is not lying, no.

BUT, SEE FOR YOURSELF: it's also not 100% true.

I mean, the rules of the party is that there's no rules. Fine. Everyone is open to experimenting. Everyone is gay this episode basically. Even Philippe makes out with Patrick, and Samu with Ivan, and Ivan with Rebe, and Ari with some cute girl (I'm still shooketh by all of this btw but in the good way lol). So, Ivan could argue that he's only playing along since Anything Goes, right?

But Rebe sees something in the way Ivan interacts with Patrick (how I wish I could screen capture the look Ivan makes after Patrick leaves him to get some drinks. Like seriously. It's at 28:07 or smth). And I'm sure she'd know a bi menace when she sees one 😂. But, okay, whatever, so he's playing along blah blah blah, they kiss and Ivan thinks they have such chemistry etc. etc. And ofc Patrick catches them and breaks his little heart. He confronts Ivan and it's a hot mess honestly. It goes:

Ivan: You're pissed off? Seriously? | Patrick: I'm always fucking serious. I'm not an in-the-closet cocktease who's super fucking repressed. | Ivan: Not again, man. I've told you a million times. I'm hetero. | Patrick: Yeah, sure you are, in your words. What about your eyes? What about your hands? I mean, you gladly touched my dick in the shower, then my ass in your bed. Bullshit, you're hetero.

Ivan: Hey, I haven't done anything with you that I wouldn't do with any friend, okay? | Patrick: Yeah, all right. Sure. But you haven't kissed me. | Ivan: And I'm not going to. | Patrick: Because you're scared to make out with a dude, right? | Ivan: I'm not scared. | Patrick: Ah, yeah? Let's see.

Honestly, Patrick and his manipulations are something else 😂. Unfortunately, though, it doesn't go his way this time. Patrick's trying to get them to kiss to prove what he thinks he knows, but Ivan dodges him. Instead of kissing Patrick since he's already looking at Patrick's lips anyway, to shut him up, and prove to Patrick that he's not in any way attracted to him, Ivan picks someone else. Ivan picks Samu to kiss to prove his point that he's not scared of kissing a guy.

I will give it to Ivan. I think he played that round well and it convinced a number of the audience that he is indeed as straight as he claims. But I still call bs. I don't think Ivan's scared of kissing a guy at all. He's just scared of kissing Patrick.

Because that unwavering heterosexuality parked outside of the club? Might get stolen, indeed.

Ah the vindication in ep 5 is *chef's kiss*

[voidstilesplease]

Patrivan Drives Me Nuts, And Here's Why: Part 7

S5E5: Please, Tell The Truth [prev, first]

->Because Ivan TELLS THE TRUTH For Once

This is where Ivan acknowledges his repressed feelings for the first time, and boy is it thrilling as it is frustrating.

Let's go back a little:

At the beginning of the episode, we got blessed with this tender moment between our boys that I discussed about in part 6, where they talked about feelings, personal issues, what they're looking for in a relationship... just being bros with a serious emotional connection, you know?

By the way, y'all should listen to The King by Conan Gray. I think the lyrics of that song are so on point. Like:

"Crush always making me feel like I got nothing to offer. But I'm the only one that can make you feel right. // And you can't explain why I'm always running your mind. Don't you see the answer is right in front your eyes?"

Well, however intimate it may have seemed, I was still helpless to think that maybe it really wasn't going to happen and they were sticking to being just "friends" - in this season, at least. Especially because for a hot minute, it looked like it was heading southward. To hell where it isn't ideal, but not as awful as I thought, too. I know it's an unpopular opinion but if you're interested and haven't read it yet, I talked about why I'm not disgustingly enraged if they went the Cruz/Patrick route in this little interlude post right here.

Anyway, so after all that, and Cruz's "please come to my room tonight", there's me who's totally blindsided by what comes next. What comes next isn't Cruz and Patrick getting it on a few doors from Ivan's room like I expected, like they were implying would happen. But what comes next is a surprising turn of events.

A question, if you please: do guys really masturbate together and can still claim No Homo? Does it really happen irl? If someone can answer that because I am honestly baffled.

But in relation to our boys, Ivan, at least, doesn't deny that it's not the straight porn playing on his TV that's turning him on but the fact that he's watching it specifically with Patrick.

Why does he put on porn for their movie night in the first place?

Well, Ivan says it himself: "I was feeling it." He was feeling like watching straight porn because his gay friend is sleeping over and they're in their underwear. It sounds kinda douche-y, really, so in-your-face. Like saying: 'See? I'm into girls. I'm into p*ssy.' But I don't think it was Ivan's intention to offend Patrick, at all.

I think what happened is: Ivan is actually more affected by their conversation earlier on the lawn than he's letting on. I don't know, but something has definitely shifted during that scene. I always say it's the way they look at each other even on the earliest episodes, but it starts to really get more obvious during this scene. I mean, look:

So, furthermore, I think what happened is: finally getting more conscious of his feelings, Ivan gets hot and bothered by Patrick's presence and the idea that he's going to sleep on a bed with him half-naked for the first time after realizing the extent of his attraction for the guy. The last time we see it happen, them on Ivan's bed together, they were drunk and Ivan was adamantly "not gay".

But tonight, he's completely sober and still fucking turned on by Patrick. And he can't hide or keep it to himself. Why bother? So he puts on the only kind of porn he's watched in his life, throws pretensions out the window, and sees where it goes.

And it... goes. Boy, it goes. Ivan finally becomes honest with his feelings and it's glorious. The attraction is finally mutual. Even though it lasts all of two minutes.

Because when it looks like it's taking off to new heights, Ivan pulls the brakes at the last few inches.

And, honestly, he leaves not only Patrick sexually frustrated by this. 😒 I'm sure. I would know.

I can't really be mad at anyone, though. I understand both their sides. Patrick is upset because he thinks Ivan is back to playing him, jerking him around, right when he's ready to give it up, Ivan gives him something to cling to but cuts the thread again without warning. And Ivan, after stepping past the threshold of confusion, is now trying to pass through his fears and prejudices, in order to reach Patrick.

And I imagine it can't be easy. Everyone has different ways of accepting the latent sides of their sexuality that's only recently manifesting. And after living and being familiar of the "macho" world that his dad revolves in, and the homophobia that goes around it, it's not surprising that he's hesitant to just go for it. Go after what he wants.

But we'll still give credit where it's due. Ivan's honesty in this scene is commendable. So episode 5: "Please, Tell The Truth", I'd say, is very appropriately titled.

And the sweetest thing about it is it's only getting started! Something even better is coming next. 😏

[voidstilesplease]

Patrivan Drives Me Nuts, and Here's Why: Part 2

part 1

->Because Patrick is a Master Manipulator

S5E2: Anything Goes

It's not exactly news that Patrick has a degree in Manipulation 🎓, because, if it's still fresh from y'all's minds, he quite enthusiastically used that expertise in S4. Probably his most famous crime is that he managed to maneuver his way into the middle of Ander and Omar's relationship and all he had to do was, like, exist *snicker* basically.

To the present, Ander probably still regrets the day he looked at Patrick for longer than necessary and made his interest known because apart from him (and Omar), his relationship definitely got majorly fucked right after 🤣.

We know how it ended ofc. Patrick made a huge mess (oh, what an understatement) by obsessing over Ander, and won... nothing. He got both Ander and Omar for all of two minutes, then nada. He's still miserable by the end of S4. Wasted his talent and all. And now at the start of S5, it looks like that's doomed to repeat.

This time, he's got eyes set not on a gay boy in a committed relationship. No. Because this time, his target is not even gay.

Or so Ivan says. Because obviously, Patrick doesn't believe him. And he's determined to prove it. (We don't believe it, but for this post, let's give Ivan the benefit of the doubt 🤣 Straight until proven otherwise, as the saying goes). So what does Patrick do? He goes crazy, because that's the only way our Patrick knows to operate 😂.

He orchestrates a party where basically Anything Goes. And if y'all have seen episode 2, you'd seen that 'anything goes' totally lived up.

And homeboy Ivan, what does he do? Ofc, he fell right into Patrick's trappings. After only a little "oh, this party's not for you because you're so straight you wouldn't bend for a night of fun", Ivan then decides that there's no way he's not coming now that the invitation he wanted has turned into a challenge. Honestly 🙄. Either the people around Patrick are easy, or he's just really talented 🤷. Because this all happens really smoothly. It's really impressive.

So, either way, Patrick ends up getting what he wants: Ivan coming to his party where rules and reservations must be left outside. *Applause* Well done, Patrick 🥳 You've, once again, awed your audience. And Ivan, most importantly.

And yes, honestly, by this point, my legs are trembling too. Because there's only one of two ways this could end: Patrick gets the guy, or he doesn't. But, however it goes, you gotta appreciate Patrick. This boy can never be accused of not being creative. And that's why I love him 😘

[voidstilesplease]

🥲🫶

[voidstilesplease]

Patrivan Drives Me Nuts, And Here's Why: Part 4

S5E3: Tie Me Up [1,2,3]

->Because Patrick Gets Spacezoned

My real frustration on Ivan starts in this episode. I don't want to talk about this episode, tbh, because it was just bad for Patrivan. But I guess the good episode (ahem, 5 😏) tastes this *sweet* because of the bad episodes before it (3&4). Dude. Like, the way Ivan ate his own words? 😙👌 Yeah, I can't wait to talk about that one.

Anyway, for ep 3, I just really wanna talk about two things: 1. how I think Patrick genuinely wants to try just being friends with Ivan, and 2. how I think Ivan is desperate to protect his sexuality.

Firstly, Patrick still likes Ivan. What Ivan said: "you can't get your head around the fact that nothing's ever going to happen between us" is harsh but isn't a lie. However, I think Patrick is trying to be just friends this time, even with his lingering attraction to Ivan. He's never had a friend like Ivan for as long as he's in the series - at least, not that is shown to us. And they clearly enjoy each other's company, so I think that's what Patrick's trying to do. Have a great time with an actual friend - that, yes, granted he still likes, but I don't think he plans on pushing boundaries like he did in episode 2.

Which is why Ivan's rejection hit really hard. Because Ivan doesn't only reject the idea of any romantic relations between them (again), he also turns down the comfortable kind of friendship that they're starting to have with each other.

Patrick doesn't get friendzoned. No, he gets worse. He gets the "we need to have some space" speech. Babe gets spacezoned. Like, fr. 😂

Anyway, the second thing. This episode, Ivan kisses Ari. And that's fucked up. Even more so, that he does because he wants to prove his point that he likes girls. I don't think it's a bluff that he's attracted to Ari, no, but I do think he's trying to make it a bigger deal than it actually is. After the ep 2 debacle (aka when Rebe points out that he *might* not be as straight as he believes after that sensual dance with Patrick), and this episode when Ari teases him for liking Patrick and possibly getting a hard on for him, Ivan is determined to clench his fist around his sexuality.

"Why does everyone assume that I'm gay?" So far, it's happened twice on-screen and who knows how many more off-screen for him to react like this. But the thing is, that's not what they're actually pointing out to Ivan. What they're saying is that he's reciprocating Patrick's attraction by his actions. They don't assume he's gay, they assume he likes Patrick, and those are two different things. But Ivan's alarmed either way.

So, when he spots a smidge of attraction towards Ari, he clings to it. Because Ari actually makes sense. Right? Because Ari's a girl.

To us it doesn't make sense for him to get so obsessed after one, possibly (seemingly) farcical kiss. But to Ivan it does. Cuz it means he's not gay, and he's not attracted to Patrick like that.

Pfft.

[voidstilesplease]

ELITE: Season 1 (Episode 1) Summary & Notes

*of course this contains spoilers*

Episode Title: Welcome

Summary: After a public high school collapses, the builder tries to repair its image by paying for three impacted students to attend an exclusive private school. (description straight from Netflix)

EH!:

Starts very dramatically, but I’m really oddly.... into it? Right off the bat, you see a crime scene; you see blood, you see the police getting involved… basically, you see the deal. Someone’s dead. Could be anyone, and the killer could be anyone as well. You might be attached to the dead person by the end of the season, or rooting for the killer all along. Who knows. And I love that.

The outside shot of the school is gorgeous. I don't know what I expected, since it's literally supposed to be an ELITE school, but yeah. I was very impressed.

Another really impressive thing is: Nadia. I just love the girl. I don't know how to express it in words. I just do. I want more of her.

“When your name is Nadia Shanaa, you better know what can get you expelled.” HOOOO THIS LINE. The connotation of this line is of course not the least bit amusing, but I love how homegirl came prepared. Lmao. Like, 'I'm already here. I'm not going out. None of y'all rich brats will make me. This is my shot, and I'm not throwing it away.'

On a similar note, Samuel’s introduction to the class is *chef’s kiss*. Though it’s self-deprecating, I think it’s the perfect way to show that he’s unfazed by the prejudice from them wealthy kids. That makes him kinda the opposite of Nadia because homegirl wants that trophy and the Ivy League, I can already tell, and she lets them know it - but I’d like to interpret Samu as kind of passive-aggressive, at least? Might actually not be the case, of course, and Samu’s really just this gentle dude who stays away from confrontations, but I still enjoyed the clap back when it happened.

And this one, lol. Okay. I knew there was gonna be lots of sex and nudity in this show (hello, Manu freaking Rios seduced me into doing this) but in the case that I didn’t, I think it’s…… very considerate of Netflix to let us know that they’re not gonna be shy from showing asses and breasts in this series. And sixteen-year-olds having sex in the goddamn shower. Christ. (I mean. Why am I surprised anyway? I just said Manu Rios made me do this, and his character's probably the STAR of the boys locker 🤣) Anyway....

Marina is cool, I guess… That thing about her STD is terrible irl, but an interesting plot point for the series imo. It sheds light to her rebellious streak and why she kinda has issues with her parents and Guzman who's really overprotective of her.... I don't know? Will that be important? Will she, like, infect someone? Will that somehow play into the main plot?

ALSO, important note: Ander is my male eye candy this ep, lol. He's really cute.

THE DEAD BODY REVEAL AT THE END WTF. Is this how it’s gonna be for the next seasons? Because I am shooketh. I didn't expect to know who died so early. But thanks, ig? Lol. Now I know not to invest my emotions in Marina 😂.

MEH?:

All right, I don’t hate Christian, but I strongly dislike him the first second he’s on-screen. Maybe he came on too strong? Idk. He just felt forced somehow? Although I admit the walking naked in the corridor scene was hilarious, I'm still not sold. He is very imposing in a very annoying way. Can’t even really blame Guzman for being an asshole to him lol. This brings us to the next bullet:

Guzman is an asshole. He has reasons I’m sure, and he’ll eventually drop from the high horse, but for now…. he's meh to me.

NO. They did not call the hijab an accessory. Yo, wtf is that? And they also threatened Nadia’s wearing it as a probable ground for expulsion? YO, that’s not cool. They should reevaluate that handbook and make it more open to diversity. Like??? Honestly, fuck you, ma’am.

Yooooo Samu’s older brother is a trouble-maker. And not the type that I enjoy, too. Not against it, I love trouble-makers as much as the next bitch, but I just haven’t found the reason to appreciate him? I’m sure I’ll figure out where he stands in the next episodes because he seems like an important part of the big picture. But in this ep? Nuh. No. Bye.

I'm just gonna come out and say it: I hate Lu. Which is the same reason why I should have loved her, in this backward logic of mine. And actually, she was part of my EH!s. Until that racist comment to Nadia. They’re just really bothered by her hijab huh.

Polo is hella attractive but idk wtf’s up with him? And Carla, too. Their relationship was ????? Voyeurism and consensual cheating are common kinks in the many fandoms I’ve been in (and read fics for), but…… that sex scene between Christian and Carla with Polo watching through a mirror was really lmfao ?????

Finally, I am NOT a fan of the attraction between Nano and Marina. Not at all. But I guess nothing comes out of it in the end, right, or at least nothing that lasts into the second season. Because, well…. The DEAD BODY REVEAL lol. That’s good. Perfect. But as long as Marina’s alive, and I guess she will be until the last episode, a relationship forming between her and Samu’s brother is not impossible. And that’s what I’m most dreadful about. Because I can already see it happening asgbfdhfdj. And I don’t wanttttttttt.

Standout character of the episode: Nadia

Character idfc about: Christian???

Overall: I think it's a very solid pilot episode!

Gonna do two or more episodes at a time in the next. I'm excited!!! And I wanna add screenshots, but Netflix doesn't allow it 😒

[voidstilesplease]

ah god no, please no, please NO. right from the start i knew it would be a nightmare if something were to happen between nano and marina...... and now wtf. w t f

[voidstilesplease]

okay, so elite S4 is playing in the background while I'm working (on a weekend. fun 😒) and obv people are still frustrating the heck out of me (except rebe, cuz she's a 👑), and I love, love manu rios but patrick's gotta stop insinuating himself between ander and omar, like seriously. and I'm not gonna lie and say that I don't find him and ander physically hot together, because goodness gracious, but he's gotta s t o p. he's so intense. and that's not really a bad thing, except he's going after someone's who's in a relationship. and I know cheating is, like, normal *snort* in this show, but please. he can do better. (it's good that I know he'll find someone in S5 because I'm just about ready to combust by episode 3). but what I hate more, is that I find patrick and omar.... an attractive pair too?

like, I'm in episode 4 now, and I'm watching the scene after patrick collapses in the club and ander and omar bring him home. and omar takes care of him like he takes care of others. and it just makes me sad a little, when I remember what patrick said in episode 2. that he does want to find someone, but he thinks it's impossible, bec, idk, maybe due to his obsessive nature that drives away people...

the thing is... I think that's why he's so addicted to the idea of coming in between ander and omar is because he knows ander matches him physically, while omar matches him emotionally. he's an inner romantic, but he's too horny as well. if only there's someone who's compatible with him in both and who's single, it'll be perfect.

I know ivan comes along in S5, but this also makes me think of valerio, you know? where's he anyway. why don't they bring him back since he didn't go abroad at the end of s3 anyway. i'm just saying lol

[voidstilesplease]

hello, so im actually doing it. HAH. I'm gonna be posting about season 1 episode 1 in a bit. so to be spared from my elite posts and manu rios thirst, please block the tag #ManuRiosMadeMeDoIt

so i've decided to watch elite from season 1 bec i have (accidentally) seen clips of the latest season that went out last month AND I WANNA BE ANNOYING and talk about ivan and patrick because i have so many thoughts and feelings already without even seeing one full episode yet. and i will watch from the start bec it's just so wrong not to, even if the plot i came for is admittedly manu rios. and i will be annoying when i get to season 5, that much is predictable. so just a fair warning for y'all. cuz this is how it's gonna work: i see manu on screen, i scream.

[voidstilesplease]

season 2 seems like a bad season for couples lmao 😅 and it looks like my next nano/marina is polo/cayetana 😒

ah god no, please no, please NO. right from the start i knew it would be a nightmare if something were to happen between nano and marina...... and now wtf. w t f