#manifesting a himbo for myself

[throwmethroughawindow]

FUCK

i’m a simple girl i see a man with big arms and a kind heart and i get a little stupid

[wasyago]

Love your art! I was super inspired by your Gillion design specially. He's so squishable (positive).

Do you have a specific process for designing characters? Be it original or reimagining canon designs of fandom

thank you!! :D

hmm, well, i don't remember the last time i properly designed an original character, so nothing on that front. for reimagining designs... i don't have a step by step way i do it, it varies from character to character, but i can point out some of the things i do that might be helpful?

i largely base my designs on the vibes the character gives me: their manner of speech, their actions, their story and personality. and also the world and environment around them if it affects the character. it sounds pretty obvious but like, duh.

im gonna try and explain on gillion's example since its the one you mentioned. he's a himbo, a swimmer and a paladin, so he's gonna be buff or at least a little thicker. he's a triton, so he's short. he's also short for the reason that he is in an unfamiliar for him world and he might feel small in it. he's also short because it makes him look almost child like, connecting it to his trauma and lack of childhood that manifests in his behavior now. gillion is kind or at least trying to be, so his features will be softer and rounder. but sometimes he's chaotic or harsh, so he has some sharp features too. though they're secondary, the softness is still the main focus.

i also really like to think and overthink the designs while drawing. i try to keep everything simpler and less detailed, showing personality with shapes rather than uhh presence(?), but that means that details i do include have a lot of thought behind them.

one of my favorite things is practically. i love to think about what a character would realistically wear in the climate they're in, which clothing would be comfortable for their anatomy and field of work. would certain things get in the way or would they be helpful? how would they style their hair, do they need it tied back or do they not care? would they wear make up, why yes or why not? etc etc etc. i like asking myself questions and answering them in the design.

continuing with the gillion example. he's constantly wet because he's a triton (again, yes), so it would be more comfortable for him to wear a wetsuit. other clothes may stick to him and be uncomfortable, or get stuck on his fins, etc. he doesn't have any piercings, there's no way he would've gotten them in the undersea, and on the surface i don't think there was anything meaningful enough to promt him to get it. plus fin ears. he doesn't have his hair styled in a complicated way because of the coral on his head. doesn't wear a lot of jewelry because he jumps in the water a lot and it'll easily get lost. no belts or flowy bits because they constrict the movement and might get in the way.

and then like. all the personal headcanons and preferences and little bits and things. there's a lot of elements that i draw just because i like how they look. or because that's a comfortable thing for me, or because it's cute or hot or sad or whatever. or because i saw it while looking for inspiration and i really liked it. just bullshitting with the design and making it my own, yknow?

for gillion. gave him a cool long tail and lots of fins everywhere because i like it when inhuman characters are openly and visibly inhuman and have distinct features. and gillion is VERY much not human, part of his personality is being confused about humans. big ol yellow eyes with slits — look cool, also doubles as an inhuman feature, also makes him look curious about the world. small black stripes all over his body — make him look more fishy, plus because there's a lot of them and they're all the same they form a pattern that looks more like a natural anatomical feature and draw less attention. coral that goes around his head and not only the front like a tiara— makes it feel more three dimensional and looks cool in perspective (also i kinda just drew it wrong and never fixed it). coral and fins are pink — adds some much needed color variation and contrast, plus pink is one of the more natural colors which again make him look animalistic and not magical, plus ties in with pretzel. his skin is closer to green than blue — removes blue from the color pallet (especially with his eyes being yellow instead of blue), making the design more coherent and pleasing, allows me to properly introduce reds and purples without it looking like a mess of colors (although it still does sometimes). sharp teeth — fish, cute. yellowish underbelly — supports the yellow for the eyes and makes it stand out less, plus again, animalistic feature. little to no details on the clothing — creates good negative space that lets the eyes rest and focus the attention on everything else. his fringe and hair are floating around and don't follow the laws of physics — personal headcanon that it always looks like he's under water, plus adds roundness to the design because of the waves and curls.

ookay haha sorry didn't mean to write down literally every design decision here-- kind of derailed the post again.

basically yeah, for me designing is like a dialog with myself where i ask and answer questions. also something that wasn't mentioned are references and inspiration. if i don't have a good idea when i start, i usually scroll through my gallery or pinterest for some time to get ideas and figure out the general direction i want to take the design, maybe also find some fun stuff to include, etc.

hopefully this long ramble was at least somewhat helpful or gave you insight on my progress. i wanted to draw some things to also visually explain the design decisions for gill, but i think I'll do it later and in a separate post, and maybe include chip and jay too...

umm good luck 👍👍

[rayroseu]

💚 Malenoa and Levan FanDesign Notes

okayyyy 4th post of me manifesting a reveal of Malleus DNA 😂🙏✨✨

this is based mostly on crowley is levan theory

• • • these are just mainly doodles and rambles ‼️

im. so. so. desperate for more dragons in this game. i hope u guys know that akdjkaksks cuz like,,,,, why did Levan had that eastern dragon title if he aint that....😭😭 I want it bcs its a nice reference to Halloween event!!!🐉💚✨✨

You know!! Like how Halloween event signifies Levan and GloMas signifies Malenoa (i think in terms of their clothing?) and those two events focused GREATLY on Malleus' character ✨✨

( this is my sketch design of him--- i wanted to draw Levan in the halloween costume ✨✨)

I'm really fine with Crowley being Malleus' dad😂 (convinced myself to just cope with it if it came true 😂💥)

as long as the story doesn't write it off as like a silly thing or he's written off as a jerk who left Malenoa for milk (which is most of the memes correlating for this theory lol)

(i doubt TWST will write it off like this they will twist it very tragically for sure 😭 all for their best marketing boy Malleus yk✨‼️)

But uh, Princess Malenoa wouldnt actually fall for some himbo like Crowley right... KJDKAJS

PLUS YOURE TELLING ME CROWLEY USED TO BE A

1. FUTURE KING

2. HE GOT THE APPROVAL OF LILIA??? TO MARRY MALENOA???

3. THE APPROVAL AND SUPPORT OF THE FAE NOBLES AND COMMON FAES TO MARRY THEIR BELOVED PRINCESS

4. THE APPROVAL OF QUEEN MALEFICIA TO HAVE HER DAUGHTER⁉️⁉️

so being normal WAS an option dire crowley😭 what went down bird principal 💥💥

—

(i think Malleus got his expressions from Levan hehe and also his empathetic side who wants to connect with others)

Also realizing that if Crowley is ever a dragon then his masking is on point because the crow mask covers his potential dragon scales and the silly hat can cover his horns lol

and if he's ever truly Malleus' father, i hope he has a tragic/good reason why he let him overblot and the best he could do before malleus snapped was order the students --who are obviously inferior to Mal-- to stop and fight him😂😭💥‼️

—

I realised that since Princess Malenoa is their leader in military, there's a chance that she was also in charge of designing Land of Briar's military gear--

Plus!! We know Malleus designs clothes for Groom Lilia!!

So, that means she's the one who dressed up Lilia's general garments? 🥺✨

Thus, the design I thought of her is like a mixture of Malleus' Masquerade Outfit and Lilia's General Outfit ‼️✨

I put roses on her horns bcs I love the thought she's connected to roses-- its more like a decoration on her headpiece, kinda like what Maleficent wears in the live action.

I think Maleficia and Malenoa are more welcoming in displaying their draconic features rather than hiding it like Malleus. Because that's what you really do as a dragon fae and its more comfortable✨✨‼️

also bcs i think Malleus scales are so pretty (only for him to hide it behind his bangs💔💔💔) like honey... why are you hiding them aaaa (bcs he doesnt want to look more scary right...) 😭 I still hope he actually transforms into a dragon, i dont care if hes going to be so overpowered that we'll need 20 turns to empty out his HP‼️💥💥

I desperately wish Malenoa and Levan are sweetly in love because when the scene comes where both of them perishes its going to hurt real good in my heart knowing they wouldve been the sweetest parents for malleus 🥲😭💔

[skylarksilver]

With a Grain Of Salt: Spirit Guides and Gumbo.

Part 1 here

Being made half a student had its own pros and cons. As a campus handyman, I had thought I could work my way up to gaining some rights as a member of the school staff. I mean, the janitor was still faculty even if respect was in short supply. But after the debacle in the mine and finding that magestone with Ace and Deuce, I was surprised and suspicious when Crowley decided to, seemingly spur of the moment, enroll Grim and I as a single student.

 On the one hand, being a student gave me a stable position and some measure of rights. And, should long term solutions become necessary, it gave me an identity in Twisted Wonderland.

On the other, it made me totally reliant on Crowley's good will and Grim's cooperation to keep myself safe from the other students. And I was made the only school prefect, which felt entirely like a token position.

“How does a prefect compare to a housewarden? What do they do?”

I asked Alfonse, one of Ramshackle's ghosts that evening as I hauled some broken furniture out of the room Grim and I had claimed as our own to a more open space. 

“Housewardens have a lot of authority in their own dorm. Prefects have a little bit of authority in every dorm. Generally, if there is an event that pulls students in from multiple dorms, prefects are there to help things run smoothly.”

“Crowley made me a student ambassador.”

Hugh popped through the door and helped grapple the other end of the more broken of the two bedframes I had found in the room.

“Quite literally. The different dorms are basically their own countries. And it's a good day when they don't come to blows just walking past each other in the cafeteria.”

I decided not to question my fortune in the ghosts being able to touch and manipulate real objects, or their willingness to help me move heavy things as we carefully made our way down the stairs. Since I didn't have much by way of funds, I wanted to make sure I could refuse and recycle as much of what existed in Ramshackle as possible.

That had been a brief, very one sided conversation where I was left with more questions than answers and solutions. Crowley had informed me that I was free to repair and alter Ramshackle as I pleased since Grim and I were the sole residents. But did he tell me what budget I had to work with? No, he was unsurprisingly an expert in dodging the questions I had regarding that.

And while a lot of the furniture looked worn and broken down, some of it was surprisingly sturdy and well made.

A good dusting, some replaced slats, a pass with some sandpaper and I'll have myself a decent chair. Anything with upholstery is a different matter, but I'll take the win.

The first week of school consisted of learning classroom locations, gulping down as much basic knowledge about the world as I could and getting a feel for the respective teachers' and faculty members styles and quirks. I could confidently say that picking a favorite was easy: it was Knox, the school nurse. A himbo in every sense with dark hair, dark eyes, and always with nuts and candy close at hand. And squirrels, oddly enough. He also had a cat, a small, absurdly fluffy looking creature who was glaring murderous at the camera, so he likewise gave Grim a look over when I broke up Grim literally eating a rock off the ground of the mine.

According to his assessment, Grim needed an incredibly high nutritional intake as he was a direbeast that manifested actual open flame. He needed the extra fuel to not only sustain himself but his fire. And if his flames got weak, he'd be at risk of injury, or his immune system being compromised.

It was incredibly funny to see this huge, hulking man cooing over the picture of an incredibly grumpy cat.

But I supposed that was pretty true to character. Kronk from the Emperor's New Groove was after all very much like that. And taking another look at that picture of the angry cat. It looked a lot like Yzma's feline form after a transformation potion went wrong. The similarity to the familiar character wasn't the only reason I felt so at ease, but it certainly contributed.

And Knox was one of the only people on campus who seemed to realize I didn't belong for an entirely different reason.

~

“It's totally your call on what I do. But no matter what the Dark Mirror did, you're still not exactly the typical student, miss.”

“You can tell? No one else has remarked on it.”

“That so? It seems obvious to me...”

 He frowned, squinting at me. Grim's ears flattened and he looked up from where he was chowing down on the treats Knox had blithely bribed him with. He jumped between us, paws spread wide sparks flying from his ears 

“Woah, human! Back off of my henchman!”

“It's OK Grim, we can-”

I stopped speaking, breath catching in my throat. I'd spotted the pattern just then. The rhyme and reason behind who seemed capable of seeing me clearly and who didn't. I finished my sentence as levelly as I could.

“-we can trust him.”

~

It was far from conclusive. Thus far, only the ghosts had remarked on my being a girl and had agreed to keep it a secret. Knox likewise assured me that he was a strict follower of Doctor-Patient confidentiality. But things were too different otherwise. Ghosts were ghosts and seemed to follow their own rules. Knox was a human mage. But it was a reassuring thing to imagine that I might, just maybe, have a way of gauging who I could trust. Or maybe vice versa, that once I trusted someone they could see through whatever the Dark Mirror did to make my presence go more or less unnoticed.

About a day after the Magestone Debacle, already well on its way to Might Raven College infamy in the gossip circles, I had a visit at Ramshackle. Reiner hovered before the door, looking determined but pleased.

“Miss Yuu, I may have found a way to secure you a more favorable living situation. May I come in?”

I invited Reiner inside and he drifted around the furniture instead of through it like I'd seen Alfonse, Beau and Hug do before. We didn't have much by way of a sitting room, and I sheepishly asked if there was anything that I could offer a ghostly guest.

“There are some steps a person can take to allow us to taste food. And there are memorial holidays where we can bring offerings back to the Netherworld. A planned, very formal and official visit would call for refreshments. As it stands now, since I came to you, you needn't even offer.”

I digested that factoid, tucking it away in my growing book of social cues for Twisted Wonderland. It was filed right alongside, ‘eye contact for beastmen is both a challenge and a warning’, ‘if a tall merfolk crouches to your level, they're being polite not condescending’ and ‘fae do partially still use the barter system and no one is sure how they assign value.’ Cater Diamond was a goldmine for me, and I definitely wanted to use that resource.

“Good to know, Mr Reiner. Is this a social visit?”

“Partly. Here.” He offered me an official looking envelope tied with a grey ribbon and a misty looking seal holding the flap closed. “This is just an offer, Yuu. But your words resonated with me. About the injustice of you being brought here without your consent and forced to rely on the Headmage's charity. I am sure what you would most prefer is being sent home. But that's beyond what the Netherworld and its residents can offer. What we can do is take up guardianship of you in a sense and get you involved in a Spirit Guide program.”

I was hanging on every word, and so was Grim, whiskers twitching as he stared at Reiner's ghostly tail. I pulled Grim into my arms, but he didn't stop staring.

“Spirit Guide? Is that like, a little angel sitting on my shoulder, a full time babysitter or a pseudo adoption?”

“The best way to describe it would be an apprenticeship. Plenty of skilled people, from brick layers to world famous alchemists, have died before they elected a successor to their work. Or conveyed trade secrets. If enough ghosts are interested, and they agree on a candidate, they can form a coalition and sponsor a living person to learn from them and carry on their work. This-” He held the letter out time again. “-is a letter inviting you to appear before the Seance Court. This would just be to explain everything in more detail. How your situation changes, expectations, and gives other ghosts a chance to get your measure.”

I swallowed, taking the letter which felt like it should weigh a 100 lbs.

“When...when would this be?”

The chef looked a little chagrined and laughed, clearly uncomfortable.

“Well, it turns out that there hasn't been a hearing for this sort of thing in a long time. Close to 40 years actually. And there are a lot of ghosts eager to pass on their knowledge.”

I broke the seal and opened the letter, scanning down to the date. I counted the days twice just to be sure.

“Tomorrow night, are you serious?”

Orientation had been on Sunday night. My misadventures with Ace and Deuce had been the following day, Monday. Today was Wednesday, and the invitation asked for me to appear on Thursday evening. Under the heading ‘dress code’ was the invitation to come ‘as you are’. Which was good because I had next to nothing.

“They got a little excited! Like I said, this hasn't been offered in a long time. Mostly due to the fact that there aren't many locations with enough ambient magic for ghosts to manifest as strongly as on Sage’s Isle.”

“Mr Reiner. How many ghosts are going to be at this thing?”

~

 The meeting was going to take place in the wooded area on the edge of Ramshackle Dorm's grounds near sunset. I had wrapped myself up in the ceremonial robe to stave off the chilly evening air. But it was not enough when surrounded by this many ghosts. There were so many of them, all crowded together, it was hard to tell where one ended and the next began. But looking around, I was surrounded by a ring of blue mist nearly 50 feet across.  But Reiner was sticking close to me and I was looking out over the assembled ghosts with a bit of trepidation. Grim had knocked out for a nap after being put through some remedial training by a much more himbo version of Gaston who was the equivalent of the gym teacher for this school. Actually, meeting all the teachers had been an exercise in keeping a blank face. The history teacher was a gender bent version of Madam Tremain, Cinderella's evil stepmother. And the alchemy teacher was very obviously a Cruella de Vil variant. He was also my homeroom teacher. Which apparently had a lot more weight in this school than simply monitoring students for the first part of the day. Frankly, the man scared me a little.

I'd rather deal with Crewel barking at me than these ghosts right now.

I strangled the fearful thought where it stood, forcing my back to remain straight and shoulders level. Not letting myself hunch in and betray unease of discomfort despite the chilly air swirling around me. The ghosts were all kinda merging together in a mass of pale blue and white and in the dark it was hard to tell them all apart. And the whispers were setting my nerves on edge.

Why do ghosts automatically have to mean things are cold?

I wished Grim was here. The tiny space heater that he was had made sleeping relatively comfortable even if he was a bed hog.

“Mr Reiner, what exactly are we waiting for?”

The rat beastman ghost leaned down to murmur to me.

“I decided to reach out to an expert on wrangling spirits. There are even more than I was told would be present.”

“How many more?”

I matched his tone and he looked very young and sheepish for a second.

“Maybe...20 or 30 more?”

One figure broke from the crowd and brought with him another icy current of air. His features gained distinction as he spoke.

“Well you bring a little gem like this to the table and of course everyone will be swarming.”

His voice was dark and smooth and the form that emerged didn't register properly at first. My initial thought was ‘centaur’. His top half was that of a handsome man with long hair, swept back from his face like he'd just emerged from water. Strong nose, high forehead, striking green-gold eyes. But the bottom half was weird, it was like he was sideways but still coming right at me. 

Then I realized his bottom half was a massive crab like body with his torso positions roughly where the eyestalks would be on a smaller specimen. His shell was practically gleaming, embedded with gems that glittered even in death. And when he was fully separated from the waiting crowd, his shell and skin lit up with a rainbow of bioluminescence.

He extended a hand with a smile that sent off alarm bells in my head. 

“The name's Tamak, little gem. It's a pleasure to meet you.”

The feeling is so not mutual, please back off.

Reiner drifted between us, growing darker and throwing the crab merfolk a fierce glare.

“You know how we do these things Tamak, wait your turn.”

“I'm just being friendly. The little mite was almost shaking where he sat.”

I seized on those words and resolved to not have anything to do, if I could help it, with the Tama'toa like character. The crab had given me the ick when he was just a giant crab. But this man felt like a predator.

Tama'toa targeted Maui and Moana's personal weaknesses during their encounter. Ruthlessly. If I give this guy an inch he'll take a mile.

And the fact that Tamak referred to me as he was further support that there was something interfering with his perception.

Tamak was several times larger than Reiner, in fact he towered over him. But the chef held his ground between me and the menacing crab. The whispers from the crowd had fallen silent. Save for a few muttered and a swirling that formed to the left behind Tamak.

“Thank you for your concern, Tamak. But we aren't starting until my requested guide is here.”

Reiner said politely, not quite baring his teeth but standing firm. Tamak narrowed his eyes, the pleasant smile dropping to reveal a cold calculation. Then he looked over his head at me and the smile was back, the performance all for me.

Red alert!

“This gutter resident surely doesn't speak for you, gem.”

I felt like speaking was both a bad idea and highly necessary. But I was saved by a slender blue ribbon of ghostly presence launching out of the crowd and appearing with a puff beside Tamak. It took the form of an elderly woman with a broad, friendly face and long pure white hair. And she glared at the large crab fearlessly.

“Bold words coming from the biggest bottom feeder in the ocean, Tamak.”

She wore a sleeveless wrap dress and had no shoes on but there was a commanding presence to her that could not be denied. Even Tamak withdrew slightly, a subdued sneer on his face.

“Lia. As lovely as ever.”

His tone made these short words sound as disdainful as possible. She jabbed her finger at him and then back and away from the gathering.

“You know the law. You've got another 313 years before your sentence is lifted and you can offer your services as a guide. We'll not stop you from observing, but that is all you may do. Is that clear?”

And this reminder seemed to enrage Tamak even as he withdrew into the crowd. He didn't cast another glance at me, all his vitriol was focused on the woman, Lia. She didn't budge, hands on her hips as she stared after him.

But the atmosphere seemed a lot lighter once he had disappeared back into the crowd of ghosts. Lia turned back to Reiner, her face lightening with a smile.

“Sorry we were late, sweetheart. Once you get to our age, you move at your own pace. She's coming now.”

And the circle of ghosts loosened into a more distinct pattern when one especially bright ribbon of presence streaked in. It formed into a cloaked, hunched figure that tapped a transparent cane on the ground as they moved. The kind a blind person would use as a guide. The cane whipped out but Lia dodged it with a sigh, looking rueful at the antics.

“Odile, dear, the ‘old blind woman’ bit doesn't work so well once you're dead.”

My mind moved at lightning speed.

Reiner said we were waiting for a ghost expert. These women both had some weight in their community. And the new arrival was accustomed to being seen as an ‘old blind woman’

If that isn't Mama Odie...

The hooded figure turned towards me, the features of the face difficult to make out in the myriad of white and gray. And a long fingers hand lifted to under the hood for a brief moment...Then a loud cackling belly laugh startled me, making my heart leap into my throat. Odile straightened, dropping her hood and looking straight at me with a toothless grin. Her eyes were the same milky white as the rest of her body and she lowered a pair of darker gray glasses back over them.

“Not in this one it won't! Oh Rein, you've found a good one!”

Several figures turned towards me with interest. Men and women alike, and with a few beastmen scattered among them. This felt like a critical endorsement in this process.

Odile drifted right up to me, holding out a hand.

“Good even, sugar. Names Maman Odile, like crocodile. If you're willing, I'd like to help you figure out what's what with this business going forward.” She tilted her head with a grin. “And can teach you to make some banging gumbo while I'm at it.”

~

Having some experience with food, and with Reiner demonstrating, Maman Odile set me to deveining the shrimp as she chatted with me. She asked about everything from my hobbies to my goals. And told stories about the rapscallions she raised as children and grandchildren. Even with the night growing darker, the kitchen of Ramshackle seemed a bright and merry place. Maman had thrown a glare at the old lights at the ceiling and they had hurriedly blinked on as though scared to cross her.

I mean, I would be too.

Reiner chopped the veggies and prepared the aromatics for the gumbo while Maman washed a pot of rice and set it on the stove. I gave it about 15 minutes before Grim smelt the food and came downstairs.

“Now then, Miss Yuu. You got an opportunity here. It may be making the best of a bad hand, but it's an opportunity all the same.”

The old ghost never stopped moving as she pulled a few shakers and small bottles out of her sleeves. She set them up on the counter and snapped her figures to conjure a large pot on the stove that quickly turned on.

“Ghosts got habits and holdovers from their lives. Sometimes, their lessons won't be so free and easy. They'll teach you, but they'll have things they want in exchange. Maman's been listening to you, and you've got something rarer than a blue firefly in the bayou.”

“What would that be?”

She chortled, dropping in a large pat of butter into the pot. I scooped the prepared shrimp into a bowl and placed them on the counter with the other ingredients. Then I went to wash my tools because the funky smell that came from seafood set in if not cleaned up right away. Luckily, I'd been allowed to take a small bottle of soap from the kitchen during dinner.

“A decent heart, and sharp eyes are already uncommon. But you got both these things in Night Raven College. That's gonna stand out, even if that fancy looking glass o’ theirs has made you pass for a boy. Put them shells and tails into this pot with the veggie trimmings and cover them with water. ”

More evidence to support my theory that trust plays into whether people can see me as I am. Also, homemade stock. That's definitely something to remember as option for food.

If I couldn't trust Mama Odie, or her equivalent, then I was hosed in more ways than one. I did as she directed, but kept up speaking with her.

“How will that help me when it comes to dealing with ghosts?”

The butter was already sizzling the first pot as she dropped in several spoonfuls of flour and tapped a whisk to make it start stirring up a smooth roux. I placed the stock pot on the other lit burner and covered it with a lid to get to temperature. 

“It already has. I know Reiner. He had a Spirit Guide himself, Ol’ Gus taught him everything that a person can do in the kitchen. He wouldn't put this out there if he didn't think you could stick it out, or that you'd do the same thing and pay it forward for the next person who needs it.”

So it's a referral based thing. I suppose since ghosts are around for...practically the rest of time just having connections to the living world could have a lot of value.

I looked at the chef who fidgeted slightly.

“That sounds like you were only taught by one person.”

“He only had one thing he wanted to do and had to know and that was food. Here, chop these inta little coins.” Maman threw a package of smoked sausages at me which I barely caught. “You're starting from less than nothing in this world. Even the stuff that keeps the lights on is different from what you're used to. You got a lot more to learn if you're gonna get a handle on living by yourself.”

“The headmage said he was going to try and find a way home.”

This felt like a weak excuse even as I said it. It made Maman Odile crow with laughter, wiping at her eyes under her glasses.

“Oh did he now? Well, we can take that as meaning he'll do something but it's anybody's guess as to what that'll be. Maman's take on things is this is brand new territory. Someone coming from another world with no magic. By all rights, there shouldn't have been a way here for you. So there's no way of telling how long it'll be before someone finds you a way back. So until then, best to learn everything and get yourself set up as if you were gonna live here. It ain't pretty, it ain't nice, it ain't fair, and I'm sure you'll get awful homesick. But that's what we're looking at.”

This was an unmistakably practical outlook. And even listening to this frankness made me feel better than Crowley's offhand assurances that he would research a way for me to return home again. Even her acknowledgement that I could miss home felt soothing. Right now, I was sure I was still in survival mode. Just moving along one day at a time. I moved mechanically, trying to keep the sausage slices as even as possible.

“That makes sense even if it is depressing.”

It was probably a better deal than I could expect from mist anyone else. The goodwill to help a stranger seemed to be in short supply in this school. It made it much more clear as to why Ace and Deuce had both decided to pursue a friendship with me. I was something they couldn't expect to find in many other their current peers.

That or getting chased by a monster in an abandoned mine caused us all to trauma bond in the extreme. Which I shouldn't rule out.

“What do I need to do to accept this...program?”

“That'll take a minute to fix up so you just leave that to Maman. In the meantime, you gonna start learning. Reiner's gonna help you get skills to live, and me and mine will help talk to the other ghosts so we can get decent folk together to help you out. You gotta think about what it is you wanna learn.”

The nutty smell of the browning butter and cooking flour filled the air and made my stomach perk up hopefully. I'd not eaten since lunch. Officially, the dorms were responsible for their own dinner. There came a sudden scramble of claws on wood and carpet from upstairs and dust fell from the ceiling.

Grim’s awake again.

Maman tutted, waving the dust away from the food and eyed the cracked plaster of the walls and ceiling again.

“Gonna get sicker than a dog if you breathe in this stuff for too long.” 

She contemplated for a moment, tapping the whisk on the edge of the pot with a frown.

“Whatever's cooking, I want double servings!”

Grim entered with a rapid scampering of his paws on the old wooden floors, skidding through Reiner’s legs and into the counter. He shook off the undignified tumble and started eyeing the bowl of raw shrimp on the counter.

Maman weilded a wooden spoon with expert precision and warded his hungry paws away from the small crustaceans. I caught Grim's attention with a piece of sausage.

“Leave the shrimp for the gumbo, Grim. They'll taste even better once they're all cooked up with our spices and served over rice.”

He inhaled my offering with shining eyes, doing a happy little dance.

“As expected of my henchmen, you came through with dinner for us!”

I didn't do much actually, and I am wondering where Maman is getting the ingredients from.

I was only going to question a free dinner if someone came and tried to make me pay for it with funds I didn't have.

Note to self, get someone to explain how the money system works around here.

Until I had an idea of the value of the currency, I would have no idea if any pay rates I could get were fair.

“You sit your fuzzy self down! You ain't sneaking off with my ingredients, no sir!”

Maman caught Grim by his scruff and plopped him at the kitchen table. “Set the table, scamp, three settings.”

Three?

I assumed if Maman told Grim to lay out three settings that she did so for a reason.

“I think I've got an idea on what I would like to do first.”

So I pulled together my faculties and began to lay out needs I had noticed. I didn't want handouts, I wanted to be able to provide for myself. The list included learning how to make Ramshackle livable, learning about the various other species of Twisted Wonderland, learning the value of currency as well as getting caught up on the functional technology of the day and basic first aid. And learning to defend myself even against mages because there had been at least 1 fight a day in the cafeteria and only the fact that I had Deuce, Ace and Grim on my side had let me escape without getting pummeled.

“Most everything else can be secondary to that.”

This list of mine took more than 30 minutes to run through. Maman had had me add the minced vegetables and sliced sausage to the roux, which was a lovely dark color and was now softening the greenery in there. And I was stirring the roux carefully to make sure it didn't burn.

“What I'm hearing, hon, is you wanna get as self sufficient and independent as possible.” Maman Odile nodded firmly. “And I can work with that. Already got a name in mind to lend a hand about fixing this place up a bit. Reiner and Mr Porter can get you started by working with them in the kitchens rather than letting the headmage run you all over the place. Reiner can apply to take you as an apprentice chef. He needed to get cleared to be able to teach their culinary courses as is. You'll be taken on with him the whole instead of a little bit here and there. We'll have a chat with our legal man too. Now, be a doll and strain that stock for me. We're about ready to bring everything together for the last simmer.”

Reiner went over the paperwork with me to sign on as kitchen help for Night Raven College. As well as a basic beginnings of what the pay would be. It would be menial, but it was so much more than the nothing I had right now. And he did say that the hours would require some early mornings for me since I would have to be up to help prepare ingredients for lunch. Breakfast preparations took place the evening before for breakfast. At least four hours of my school day would be dedicated to this, with weekends off to allow for homework and rest.

“I still expect you to come by for your meals on the weekends, even when you're not going to work.”

And the rat beastman ghost said this in a way that allowed for no argument and I was grateful for it. The gumbo smelt amazing and Maman Odile was fluffing the rice to be served. Grim was salivating at the scent of the Cajun spices and the scent of shrimp and salty sausage blending in the air.

“Well I think we've made a lotta good progress.” the old female ghost proclaimed, slipping a bottle of what looked suspiciously like hot sauce out of her sleeve and giving it a few shakes over the simmering pot. “Let's dish up and we'll leave you be, dearie.”

I still didn't question the third bowl, and I did have to keep Grim from taking it.

“If you want more, just get seconds, henchhuman.”

“Right back at you, fuzzball. If Maman Odile said to have three, I'm gonna trust she had a reason and it wasn't to let you have two from the get go.”

The old ghost cackled as she dispersed into blue mist.

“Oh indeed I do. You're in for some fun, honey. Be smart now!”

She was gone in an instant. I looked to Reiner.

“I feel like I just met with a life coach or academic counselor.”

He shrugged.

“Not too far off. Maman's the one who matched me with Gus when I wanted to learn to cook. She'll do right by you, Yuu.”

The relief I felt at having something more than prayers and blind faith merged with gratitude even as Grim attacked his food with gusto.

“I am going to owe you so much for this.”

He waved his hands.

“I'm not a deal maker, so don't go putting that out there. Besides, kitchen work like what you'll be doing is pretty demanding. So we'll see how grateful you feel after your first few shifts.”

“I know what to expect for meal prep on this scale. And I feel a lot better about being grateful for your generosity than only having the headmage in my corner.”

At this, there came a heavy knock at the door that made Reiner and myself look towards the sound. Hugh, the smallest of the ghosts, popped out of the ceiling.

“You expecting a Heartslabyl boy, Yuu?”

“I'm not but someone was. Here, make sure Grim doesn't eat everything.”

There were only 2 Heartslabyl boys that could be at my door right now. And I had a hunch who it would be.

Sure enough, when I opened the door, standing on the ragged excuse for a porch was Ace Trappola. Wearing a thunderous scowl and a heavy, black and red heart shaped collar around his neck. And what he greeted me with? 

“I'm transferring to Ramshackle.”

I'm so glad I seem to have some help from Reiner, Maman and the other ghosts.  Because this feels like this isn't gonna be the last time Ace drags me into something.

[sunlightmurdock]

bestie i’m going on a date with a firefighter this weekend and all i can think about is firefighter! bradley. 😔 currently trying to manifest that for myself

If he’s from Tennessee run for the hills.

I’m manifesting for you that you get that big strong himbo!! What a dream 🥹

[underpaidimmortal]

CMON GUYS TOMESWEEP - Essay by Tumblr User underpaidimmortal.

What comes to mind when you think of Tome Kurata? Dedicated conspiracy theorist. Secretary at one of the oddest and most famous businesses in anime history. Neurodivergent/queer-coded and a minor.

In this essay, I will tell you just why Tome deserves to sweep the competition and earn her rightful place as #1 Tumblr Weirdgirl.

TOME KURATA HAS AN UNCONVENTIONAL AND STRONG SPECIAL INTEREST IN THE PARANORMAL

Upon their first watch or read of Mob Psycho 100, fans are introduced to Tome and her overwhelming interest in aliens. She has spent most of her school career focused on finding a psychic to help her communicate with aliens- she even buys books and starts her own club to do so. Even if circumstances are dire, Tome always stays true to what she believes in. And that is aliens. They're out there.

(Bonus mention #1: She even has her own character theme song entitled Telepathy Fairytale which she sings at a karaoke party in the anime!! Bonus mention #2: The song Touch-Tone Telephone and the Spirit Phone album by Lemon Demon are musical associations that pop up quite frequently in the MP100 fanbase. Tome is a popular character to link these with.

The international anthems of weirdgirls everywhere are linked so intrinsically with Tome Kurata it's unreal...)

2. TOME KURATA'S CHARACTER DESIGN AND MANNERISMS ARE BELOVED AMONG FANS... BECAUSE SHE WEIRD ASF!!

From her choppy bangs and jaggedy tips to her excessive gestures and theatrical poses, Tome is one of the most physical MP100 characters, barely eclipsed by Reigen Arataka. Her uniquely expressive faces of disgust, happiness, anger, fear and secret shrimp emotions only she can evoke in us are ubiquitous in every incarnation. Observe:

(IDs in alt) (also look at OP's poll image of Tome)

Tome's physicality and expressiveness put her above and beyond the competition, displaying bouts of weirdness whenever the mood strikes.

3. TOME KURATA IS THE STAR OF A SPIN-OFF DEDICATED TO JUST HOW BONKY WACKERS SHE IS

That's right!! While the spin-off REIGEN may not have her name in the title, the manga's events explore her crazy high school shenanigans. She forces her way into becoming the secretary of one of animanga's most famous and oddball businesses driven solely by her fascination with the supernatural. She becomes friends with a gang of weirdgirls, including a bug-eater, cosplayer/video gamer and comedy enthusiast. She dunks a bag of salt on a stalker and narrowly evades a lawsuit. She chases a girl with toast in her mouth in what she claims is the sole interest of scientific discovery... the list goes on.

We can even argue that the reason why we even HAVE the REIGEN manga in the first place is solely because her weirdgirliness manifested it into being.

4. TOME KURATA IS EVERY WEIRDGIRL'S WEIRDGIRL

As a weirdgirl myself I can truly attest to the fact that Tome Kurata is the modern weirdgirl's weirdgirl. (If you doubt my credentials, know that when startled I start singing opera, I am told that I've an "ungraceful lack of restraint when it comes to violence", regularly use Shakespearean language to retort or rebuff and once told a himbo I knew about the concept of A/B/O.) While she may not go around adopting alien dogs or taxidermying corpses together, she is undoubtedly an icon and a shining North Star to so many aspiring little freaky girls. Her unbridled passion, eccentric character and personality more unrestrained than a charging plinko horse make her the disco ball in the sea of other similarly shaped balls (beach, etc.).

Tome's legacy also lies in the fan content being made of her every day. Ranging from heartwarming to comedic, from fanfics to animatics, it's clear that her impact on the MP100 fanbase and beyond is huge.

Some of the most popular memes of her among the community include her tormenting fellow Telepathy Club member Takenaka Momozou by thinking of things such as Twitch streamer Jerma, Rick Astley's Never Gonna Give You Up, twitter format etc... Another popular theme in the fandom is exploring her connection with Reigen (through father-daughter memes, amongus references etc.)

Dear reader, I reach out for your hand not just as a fellow weirdgirl enjoyer, but as a fellow Tome Kurata stan. Let's join hands and VOTE TOME. #TOMESWEEP. Thank you.

Round 5 [Finals]: Luz Noceda [The Owl House] vs. Lilo Pelekai [Lilo and Stitch] vs. Tome Kurata [Mob Psycho 100]

luz noceda- too weird for reality, too weird for the fantasy world. who else can say they were literally sent to 'how to be normal' summer camp for taxidermy-ing two animal corpses together? and let's not forget her dedicating herself to being a witch even after finding out that they were in fact a separate species of people. with a neverending supply of determination, can she reach the title of #1 weirdgirl? we believe in you, luz!

we all know lilo pelekai. she's the iconic little autistic girl of our childhoods- studying voodoo to punish her 'friends', not understanding many social conventions, and theorizing that her sister's manager is secretly a vampire. as the winner of the semifinals, can she overcome the two biggest powerhouses of our competition? we're all wishing you the best, lilo!

tome kurata is the favorite to win- she's had the biggest following in our competition thus far. she dedicated her life to meeting aliens despite not knowing they existed, and it seems she may have [squints at resume] decided to accomplish this by meeting a psychic despite ALSO not being sure that they existed? good for her! and very weird. truly a worthy finalist in the showdown- good luck, tome!

[fateviled-a]

updated my carrd and interest tracker to reflect all of the muses i currently have, and i'll be making an attempt to reach out to those who've filled it out during the weekend. so, pls if there's any dynamics you wanna develop already in mind i encourage you to fill it out too, thank u. 💜

[ungalossimp]

Holy cow... Today I realized I've been taking my new anxiety meds 2 times a day (1 pill morning + 1 pill night) instead of 2 pills at the same time (day OR night)... because I misread the prescription 💀

No wonder I've been such a nervous wreck, I wasn't taking them properly smh 😭💔

[heffrondriving]

ummm how many james gifs is too many james gifs,, asking for a """friend""" 👀

[aquaaquila]

Here joining the conversation that happens in the comments:

To each your own when it comes to the ships. Huntlow is cute and fine and realistically the best choice for both characters to end with romance as they complement each other well. It's also not often you see implied bi4pan, plus-sized girl x the most beloved guy of the fandom going this strong. I'm not going to spoil the ship any further but worry not, it won't take over their characters in The story, but further develop.

The fan base is problematic though. I'm in fact one of the original Huntlow shippers and I've seen this ship develop right before my eyes. Back in a day when it was a crackship, it was so wholesome and you could see nothing but positives about this ship. Imagine the joy when it would turn out to be within the canon. The joy didn't last long though as obnoxious Lumity shippers showed up and killed the original soul of the ship by doing the same thing they did to Lumity which was lowkey ableist.

What happens is that they took neurodivergent characters (Luz, Hunter) and both dumbed them down to a ridiculous level (in Lumity's case it was essentially heteronormativity that turned Luz into your typical himbo; in Hunter's case it was infantilisation because god forbid a guy actually shows weakness and thus completely ignores any actual power they have, more about Hunter later) while watering down the girlfriends (Willow, Amity) into brutes. It's essentially the "she's everything, he's just Ken".

I myself also stopped following Huntlow's tag after it also became flooded with sibling enjoyers butting in and devoiding any individuality Huntlow has by making it another Lumity and how much of siblings Luz and Hunter must be to have the same type. Ugh! The appeal behind Huntlow is the potential, what drags it down are obnoxious fans.

Now about Hunter: look, I love Hunter, you could say I'm his stan or whatever, but I have a special place in my heart for him. Thanks to him I went from Bi-curious to Bi-certain, and it's for a good reason. There are plenty of great things about Hunter. Sure he's not Luz and he's not the protagonist of this show, but other than King he's like one of the most important male characters (excluding Belis as he's the antagonist) due to how much potential, promise, and importance he has to the plot by being linked to the main villain. And the promise and potential I'm talking about is about him being good protagonist material.

I keep manifesting that if we ever get a spin-off for TOH, other than Eda's gory days, Hunter should take a lead (as Luz told her story flawlessly already and flash forward to new generation is pointless when there are so many loose ends within the present) as he at least to me is the best candidate for that. The story would be more or less about him healing from the abuse he went through along with the rest of the Isles, which is thematic, and Hunter's episodes often not only help flesh him out but other characters as wellwhen they're interacting with him. Hunter pushes others to grow while growing himself, and he has big level of empathy making him connect to others pretty easy which works in stories. He also has a drive and so many story ideas tied around him and by the end of the show he's probably the most of an open-book character. Of course he's not Luz, but he can pull off his own story.

(I didn't pick Amity as while she's great, over time she will grow a tendency to be a bit of the satellite to Luz's character mostly because of how much of her time she gives to Luz. Her being MC wouldn't change it; though Hunter being MC (or honestly anyone but her or Luz) can change it as now Amity would have to interact with him more often to stay relevant instead of only being Luz's awesome girlfriend and those two have the potential as great foils and Amity being the only one who can relate to Hunter on a deeper level, which is funny considering Hunter can relate to everyone one way or another through his sheer trauma)

Now I don't know much about Steve so I can't speak regarding this matter, but I guess what I will say next will be familiar to you. This fan base wasn't ready for Hunter, nor actually deserved him. Everyone lost his mind over him yet I feel like there's almost nobody that actually knows him. There are really only a few people who can see through his flanderisation within the fan base, and it's certainly not comforting that the biggest number of those people happen to be Lunter shippers 😐😑 Hunter is probably the biggest offense when it comes to mischaracterisstion in the fan base that is borderline toxic and pretty much exposes everything wrong with the fan base from internalised biases to lack of media literacy. Everyone got so invested in woobifying Hunter that they forgot Hunter while has tons of potential for stories of his own, is not in fact a blank character. He's not a background extra who can be whatever, he already has established capabilities and personality that are nothing like the one fan base gives him and it pisses me off as there's essentially a lack of good Hunter content that doesn't feel like forced propaganda with an OC wearing Hunter as a flesh mask. And people really shift the focus of the story onto him instead of following Luz. Luz already got her limelight in the fan base stolen by her white girlfriend and now said white girlfriend lost it to the white guy, and said the white guy is to being done dirty for this. Heck, his obnoxious fans even rewrite other characters to fit their vision, how Amity is jealous of Yandere because of him and hates him with a burning passion (that is not the case, even if he stole the key)

okay im assuming this is The Ship

[zepdeans]

help girl I’m thinking of things that could’ve been

[la0istouden]

sorry to all my moots for the unhinged posting at 4 am I have had an unreasonable amount of caffeine in the last two days you see.

[dear-ao3]

attention friends, romans and countrymen alike.

i have a question.

first of all, no, i am not dead and left my blog to run off of queue for the rest of time. i am very much alive, just now at home because the semester ended and i had to make the terrible trek up through the damned state of delaware to my home, which took far longer than it should because a prime truck decided to not deliver things with its promised next day prime shipping (smh jeffery put your back into it). and since i am now at home i am slightly sad because i can no longer see brad whenever i wish, nay, i cant even text him whenever i wish because he is off galavanting in some european country or other having a glorious time leaving me alone by myself with my dog and my squishmallow, which has since been named dino de vito so thanks for whichever one of you sent that one in.

but anyway.

my mother has been trying and failing to convince me to crochet something for brad for the last few months (which is really a feat because she only found out at thanksgiving that we were dating) and i keep declining because 1. crocheting takes a lot of time an effort, 2. it costs money and 3. you should wait awhile before you make someone something because there is every possibility that they will hate you in a few months and burn all of your hard work into ashes along with the polaroid pictures that you took in a five guys.

now brad and i have been dating for like 3.5 months, which isn't very long in the grand scheme of things, but we have lasted officially longer than taylor swift and jake gylanhaal did and considering she gave him a scarf when they had been dating for less time (yes i know they broke up and it was terrible and also the scarf is a metaphor for virginity and all of that and theres only supposed rumors that the scarf existed and she didnt make it it was one of hers anyway but the principle remains the same) i think that i can make brad a scarf.

now is this just to quell the pestering of my mother? perhaps. is this mostly because i miss my absolute himbo of a boyfriend and wont see him until january 27 because we have a stupidly obnoxiously long winter break? potentially. is winter break boredom getting to me? quite possibly. (seriously i have been home for less than 48 hours and have been covid tested 4 times in 4 days) in any case. i have decided that a scarf is in order.

will this cost me money? yes. but. i think that im getting paid one more time and also brad is a stubborn himbo with an unhealthy dose of toxic masculinity that manifests in him feeling the need to buy me literally everything ever (seriously one time he almost rejected the sandwich that i bought him as a thank you because he had spent far too much money on leggings that i didnt exactly need for me even tho it was literally 4.95) i think this would be nice. also we are planning to take a day trip into nyc when we get back to school and 1. it will be freezing and he has no cold tolerance and 2. he will once again insist on buying everything on said trip so the least i can do is make sure that he doesnt freeze.

i have a pattern for said scarf picked out. (and i also bought not one but two crochet hooks from michaels today but i had a coupon so it was fine. even though i haven't bought yarn yet but we will get to that.) it is very nice and i will not show a picture of it because i haven't purchased it yet off of etsy (yes that is right i am buying a pattern. i only every follow youtube tutorials or make something up but well i want it to look nice and this was a very pretty pattern. i must really love this man.)

but now. the question. the one that i said i needed to ask about 700 words ago.

is getting red yarn to make it from bad luck?

i only ask this because the scarf is red in the taylor swift song, all too well, which was referenced above, and she and joke gylanhaal broke up quite catastrophically after he stood her up on her 21st birthday, not that that will be an issue for brad and i as he will literally be in europe during my 21st birthday and would not be here regardless and also he would not have the scarf yet. but my mother thinks that he would look in "a nice cranberry red" or "a greenish blue." she is also outraged that he owns literally no colors and wants me to somehow fix that with this scarf.

these are the yarn colors that i have to choose from:

i personally like the red one more because he has a navy blue wool coat and i think that the red would look better with it and also he would think its funny that im giving him a red scarf because of his recent taylor swift obsession but i do not want to curse us so.

who has thoughts.

[anendtopursuit]

exactly! his struggles to seem normal/human (i personally struggle sometimes to view myself as human due to the ways i differ from neurotypical expectations n the sort of social outcasting of neurodivergent ppl) + general shyness/social awkwardness (my autism manifests a lot in social difficulties, a lot of which i can see traces of in clark) + the whole Strong Sense Of Justice required to become a superhero of ur own volition rlly resonates w me, as an autistic person. i just cannot read clark as neurotypical, and i feel like that's at least partially by design - his whole character sorta hinges on the idea of not quite fitting in with your peers or feeling like you belong - which definitely comes from a different direction (the whole kryptonian immigrant metaphor yk) but i think it's a deeply relatable sentiment to a lot of people. n yeah, some of that comes from his powers n his difficulty handling them, but i think a lot of it is Just How Clark Is, n removing those aspects of his character once he gets a handle on his powers would be a terrible move imo

of course like. this was mostly a joke post, i'm not trying to imply anything abt himboism and neurodivergence. (as a disclaimer for anybody who may have been bothered by the context of this post: i personally find affectionate himbo jokes abt clark sort of comforting as they frame character traits that i'm personally self conscious about irl in an appealing/endearing light)

"clark isn't a himbo because he isn't stupid-" ok but he is silly. he is sweet. he is adorable and full of whimsy. he has undiagnosed space-autism

[pixyys]

i got transmigrated into the world of shugo chara! and become a guardian but my guardian chara is somehow an X-egg

what's this? a shugo chara fic but your guardian chara gives you high blood pressure instead of sparkly magical powers.

warnings. a 3 am fic but is not actually written at 3 am; mc with she/her pronouns; mentions of stress and self-deprecation; pure crack and nonsense; shugo chara and tumblr community, i am very sorry.

no idea why old-school mangas tend to stay in elementary/middle schools when they're literally experiencing heart throbbing puppy love and can summon meteors.

everyone is in highschool because we all know how highschool is almost always the setting where those spring time anime doki doki tropes happen.

prologue preview

they say smart people has lots of monologues in their head, and bottled negative emotions can manifest into something- er.. ominous.

so you don't know whether it means that you are an outstanding genius or a miserable person when you found a sus egg beside your pillow.

"kakyoin did you lay this egg?!?"

maybe kakyoin didn't but you most likely did.

the egg looks, erm, normal as per say, kind of. it is slightly bigger than your favorite boiled chicken egg, and pure, uh- black? purple-ish? in color. if this is the world of shugo chara, your egg looks like the ones that the main gang purify on a daily basis- wait.

wait.

bruh.

introducing [name] or [mc]

catchphrase include bruh, oh my god, and bob.

sigma rule #1 no simping😎

[name] x overthinking x self deprecation true love triangle route (أ‿أ)/ j.

her whole personality is meme. that's it.

au if this universe is more dark/ less family friendly and [name] suffers an open wound injury during a guardian-fight:

"name! quick! what's your type?"

"i don't think this is an appropriate time, but i like them tall, dark and handsome."

[name]'s future glimpsed through the looking glass (or magic ball, tarot cards, whichever works).

you give your new egg a once over. it is truly pitch dark in color, if not a bit purple.

'the forbidden egg.'

the egg sprung and cracked into life. its shell hit your temple, like it was trying to hit your eye and missed.

(being recruited to join the guardians)

"okay, but how much am i getting paid for this?"

"doesn't that mean my egg is basically an x-egg?"

"heart egg. yes, but no."

"oh my god, are you guys going to exorcise me now?"

"we can name our guardian charas?!"

"no, they-"

"i'm gonna name mine bob."

"..right"

(it's kairi. kairi and mc = no energy and too much energy so true.)

"[name]! rima-chan told me your heart egg hatched yesterday!"

"yea, it cracked open after i left it on the fridge for three hours."

"🗿"

(everyone shall tremble at [name]'s himbo-ness, amu not excluded.)

"ohh let yaya see! let yaya see! ahh she looks so cute!"

"please do not assume my pronouns."

"bob-"

"but you're in luck, you're right. i go by she/her."

"you're supposed to be the manifestation of my heart's desire! my hopes and dreams! my inner heart!"

"i am! i don't see the point why you're saying this!"

"bob!"

"[name]!"

"oh wow, you're really accepting that name."

"say, er.. it's valentine day."

"yeah?"

kukai silently peers at the bag of chocolate in your hands.

"oh, right," you nod as you open the bag of chocolates. the boy in question can only stare as you take one of the glistening treats, lift it to both of your eyes' level, then proceed to pop it into your mouth with your eyes dead on the former jack's line of sight.

"i have to start doing the self-love campaign seriously. confessing to other people sounds like a hassle, anyway. so i'll just confess to myself."

"epic idea. saves a lot of anxiety and stress too."

kukai and daichi are too stunned to speak.

uhh so i don't really remember what happened in shugo chara it's been years, (i'll probably read the manga but it's so long-) but i did read the wiki and found out that these canonically 12 years old kids are basically fighting some secret evil cult organization; one of them, at some point becomes a spy then suffers in some moral dilemma. bonus points that each of these primary schoolers possibly has distinctive crippling insecurity and trauma, and has better love lives than i have ever had-

[mc], everytime things go down, in a chronological order:

[mc], most of the time whenever encountering something easter-related:

in case if anyone is curious about the kakyoin and egg thing.

(all jokes aside, shugo chara is one of the best magical girls manga/ anime in my childhood, this feels nostalgic haha)

[mercury-exalted]

I used to be so obsessed about wanting a relationship, but now I don’t even know what I want.

Do I want to game? Not really. Do I want sex? No. Do I want to consume media? Not necessarily.

I think media consumption is the only one where I’d give it any thought. Writing seems to be what I live and what I breathe, I just don’t know how to contextualize my writing within various fandoms and fan culture. Maybe I could start writing RP stories?

That whole era where I was finding stuff pertaining to vampires and working out on Discord has kind of come to a halt. I’m thinking now that I’d rather be more closely aligned with my 13 year old self being loosely attached to fandom and fan culture than being this ‘himbo muscle gaymer’ which i’ve talked about before.

I just have so much to say I could spend all my time saying it and still have more. I want to see my writing come to life, but I feel like being trapped in a store all day really stifles that. Perhaps my dad is right and I should be an author.

This line of thought makes me think about my 10th house of success and how Pluto, Juno and Chiron are all slammed in there together. I have tried..so..many..times to manifest certain parts of my chart more succinctly by doing unconcious practices like keeping various crystals around me or lighting candles, but nothing seems to provide concrete results.

I wish I could just cast a spell that would allow me to better align myself with my 10th house...despite not fully understanding it.

It’s strange because it’s duplicated which must mean I have a certain level of mastery over it already, yet still, I feel unfulfilled in various areas of my life with no idea what to do about it.

Like, for instance, I’m on break right now and I’m just journaling. Theres this deep sense that there should just be some hobby that I default to, ideally something that revolves around romance, but I can’t think of what that is! I guess that changes the topic from 10th to 5th then. My 5th house cusp is in Gemini, but most of it is in Cancer. So i guess I’d need to understand Cancer more to better take advantage of what that house has in store for me...