#mandrake x reader

[fangirlingatstuff]

I’m genuinely so happy to find more people who still remember epic, and more importantly mandrake. I’m here to request a fic, a list of headcanons, just anything about this man being a devoted husband. This man is just bug Gomez Addams and I’m so here for it.

Please *shakes my little tin can at you* just a crumb of bug dilf

Absolutely!! I need more bug dilf as well 😔😔😔

There’s not as much of him in here as I intended, I need to write more fluff with him.

Enjoy!

Mandrake x Reader

Tentative Truce

—

Voices. Thats what you heard past the deafening sound of ringing in your ears. Hushed voices whispered to each other in panic. It was hard to breathe, like something was pressing tight against your chest and ribs, resisting every time you inhaled.

Your eyelids felt heavy as you forced them open, however they didn’t stay open. Regardless, everything was blurry, fading in and out of focus, and unbearably bright. So bright, it made you flinch and groan.

The voices quieted for a moment, then shuffling.

“Why did bring you here?!” A voice hissed.

“She was hurt! What was I supposed to do? Leave her to die in the mud?!” Another voice whisper-yelled.

“Not bring her to Moonhaven, are you insane?!”

Two voices, both male, arguing. At first, your brain could only register “two voices” and immediately thought of your loving husband and son. But…no, that wasnt right. Mandrake wouldn’t be bickering with Dagda, he would be at your side the moment he heard you stir, holding your hand, fussing over you.

Moonhaven…

Moonhaven?

In your exhausted and bleary state, you felt a hand against your forehead, soft and gentle and warm.

“Easy now,” a voice as smooth as the river spring said as the hand brushed the matted hair from your face. “You need your strength.”

“Ugh,” you let out another groan and tossed your head, eyes squeezing shut. “What—where-…where am I?”

“Nod you just put the entire forest at risk!” One of the voices snapped. “What do you think Mandrake will do when he finds out she is here? Hm?”

“Relax, Ronin! I was just trying to help—“

“Oh yeah, and Im sure he’ll understand. Here! Why don’t we just tell him exactly how you KIDNAPPED HIS WIFE—!”

“Both of you! Enough,” the woman cradling your head spoke.

With another groan, your eyes peeled open for the last time. The room was spinning, but over time it stilled.

The blinding light you were seeing was the sun, shining through tall green leaves and reflecting off of polished stone walls. There was never this much color in Wrathwood.

Another brush of hand against your side made you wince. Looking down, you see a slim dark hand against your side, pressing against a blood stained bandage that was wrapped around your chest. So thats why it was so hard to breathe in.

As you lay amongst soft white petals, you furrowed your brows in confusion. Then you looked up.

“Oh.” You blinked in surprise.

The woman gave you a friendly smile like you had been friends your whole life. She had a simple beauty to her, like how a breath of fresh air or the sight of blooming flowers felt beautiful. Natural, grounding and familiar.

“Sorry,” Queen Tara chuckled, raising a hand off of your body as you lay in her lap, “we couldn’t get you to the healers in time. This was our next best option.”

You swallowed and looked at her strangely. “It’s…okay?”

You sat up, the bandages pulling tight on your body as you held your head and tried to get rid of the airy feeling behind your eyes. “What happened?” You groaned, shaking your head.

“I think you got knocked off your bird by a hawk or something—“ a boy with brown hair said, before getting hit by a man in green armor. “Ow, hey!”

Ronin sneered and looked at you cautiously. The feeling was mutual as you bore your teeth in a hiss, although, it wasn’t nearly as effective when you weren’t a boggan yourself.

“Nod here found you on the forest floor bleeding,” he said, gesturing his head to Nod. “And stupidly,” he glared at him, “brought you here.”

“I didn’t know who she was!” Nod said, trying to defend himself. “I’ve never seen her without her helmet before!”

“That doesn’t matter!” Ronin said back.

“Boys, boys!” Tara spoke up, and instantly they both quieted. “Ronin, Nod did a good thing,” she smiled. “If he had left her there, who knows what would’ve happened. And then we’d have to deal with the consequences.”

You only looked back and forth between them with a raised brow.

“Uh, I’m sorry,” you interjected, eyes darting between them before looking at Tara sheepishly, “your majesty? Uh—“

“Please,” she snorted and waved you off, “you’re as much of a queen as I am! Call me Tara.”

“…your majesty,” you repeated, making clear the extent of your relation. “You…know who I am,” she nodded with a smile, “…so why in the seven hells did you allow me to be brought into your inner sanctum?!”

You looked at her in bewilderment. You were her enemy, the partner to the man who threatened her entire realm. So why on god’s green earth did she just so nonchalantly bring you in, heal you, and just idly keep you at her side?!

“You were hurt,” Tara answered bluntly. “Despite Ronin’s insistence,” said general crossed his arms with a glare towards you, “I would’ve have done the same for anyone.”

The irritation in you subsided. You blinked in surprise, looking at her with astonishment.

“Huh,” was all you could say.

“We should really send her away,” Ronin stepped forward, his hand never leaving the hilt of his katana. “Her being here is a threat, your majesty. We can’t risk her bringing the rest of the Boggans here.”

“She is our guest, Ronin,” Tara said firmly. “And besides, I can only heal so much!” You looked down at your torso, at the blood stained bandages that wrapped around and under your unclothed chest. It still hurt. “She still needs to rest.”

“If Mandrake figures out she’s here—“

You all stopped in place as a sudden boom rattled the ground beneath you, followed by the sound of screeching birds.

“Too late,” Nod said.

You sighed and shook your head. Always one for the dramatics, your husband.

You pushed off of your knees, grunting and wincing and pain as you tried to stand. Nod and Ronin rushed to your side, arms under your armpits and helping you stand.

“That’s my cue,” you grunted, the sound of clashing metal and shouts echoing down the stone halls.

“Come on,” Ronin scoffed. “Let’s get you back before your husband tears through my entire guard.”

“Wouldn’t be the worst thing,” you retorted, limping beside him.

You barely went out into the open without your weasel cloak, or the shrew skull you wore as a helmet. Ronin had been the only one in all those years to have seen you without your armor, at least when alongside your husband. So to the rest of the leafmen you were nothing more than an injured leafwoman or jinn, an associate, a peer, collateral damage that had been ushered in to be healed or a fellow soldier. They didn’t bat an eye as Ronin and Nod ushered you through the halls, your eyes squinting against the bright light of day outside the stone stronghold as the sound of battle grew closer.

You threw up your hand and winced at the bright sun light, glaring at it until the loud growl of your husband turned your head.

Looking left and right, you almost pushed Ronin away before your eyes fell onto the towering frame ahead among the many bodies of boggan soldiers versus leafmen. And damn it if you couldn’t stop the smirk on your face seeing Mandrake’s cloak swirl around him as he threw leafmen off the stone awning and slammed his cudgel against the ground. Damn it all if he wasn’t hot as hell when he fought with that sneer on his face.

“Mandrake!” You yelled, holding your side.

He didn’t even have to stop fighting to look up and spot you immediately, standing at his full height while kicking a leafman in the chest.

“Y/n!” He turned back to the leafman he was holding up in the air by the collar and growled. He slammed his head against the soldier’s, dropping him before stomping forwards.

Ronin gripped your arm tightly as you tried to pull away, glaring ahead as you tugged and cursed at him.

The moment he laid his hands on you once more, your carefully tuned ears picked up the sound of many many arrows being drawn.

You looked around, spying the dozen boggan archers hidden in the rocks now aiming their weapons towards Ronin and the leafmen who came to your side with shields raised. Your eyes fell on one particular archer, the familiar rat-pelt donned figure of your son Dagda.

“Weapons down,” your voice gave Mandrake pause as you yanked your arm once again to no avail. Ronin’s grip did loosen, however. He looked at you in surprise.

You looked up and made eye contact with your son, giving him a stern look.

Dagda glanced at Mandrake, then back at you, as if to say “are you sure?”

You nodded curtly.

He frowned and lifted his hand in a closed fist, telling the archers to hold as he lowered his bow.

With a huff, you got your arm out of Ronin’s grip, shooting him a glare and a well placed huff in his direction before running a hand over your head and sighing.

“Mandrake,” you said in relief and pushed past the leafmen who watched in shock and bewilderment.

Mandrake’s look softened and he let out a huff, shoulders relaxing. “Oh thank the gods,” he grumbled under his breath while rolling his eyes, his large hands settling on your shoulders as you stopped in front of him and he immediately began to fuss over you. “Are you ok? What happened—?”

“I fell off my bird,” you assured him and cupped his face with two hands, mostly to keep him from looking at your bandaged sides. “I’m fine, really.”

You stopped, sighing and looking back at where the leafmen were now parting, standing at attention as Tara made her way out of the palace walls. “She fixed me up,” you said, brows knitted together as you looked up at her with your arms crossed.

Mandrake looked up, his gaze immediately narrowing as he stood at full height once more, looking down at her.

“Tara,” he said with disdain.

“Mandrake,” she stopped and held her hands in front of her. That was one thing you respected about her, she wasn’t afraid to look her enemy in the eye. And she did it with grace too, even as her general behind her was biting his tongue until she returned to the safety of Moonhaven’s stoney walls.

“I apologize for the trouble,” Tara said with a smile. “Someone had found your wife badly injured on the forest floor without knowing who she was and brought her here.”

She raised her hands and looked at them. You noticed she still had some blood on her fingers.

“I healed as much as I could,” she added, looking back up and clasping her hands together and looked at you with a warm, friendly smile. “But you’ll have to figure out the rest. Personally, I’d recommend staying in bed for a bit, some good ole TLC never hurts.” With that, she winked at you, and it made you feel…strange. Tara was…a lot friendlier and more casual than you expected her to be.

Mandrake made a noise deep in his throat, moving his cudgel from one hand to the other.

“She’ll be fine,” he said bluntly, his hand itching to be somewhere on your body or to pull you closer. “Our healers will take care of everything.”

“Of course,” Tara bowed her head.

He let out a sharp exhale from his nose, putting a hand on your shoulder and pulling you back towards him, wrapping part of his cloak around you as he turned around and began walking away.

The other boggans cleared out, snarling and chittering both with each other and at the leafmen, mounting their birds as Mandrake’s grackle soared down and landed, ducking her head.

He was just about help you up onto his bird, Nightshade, when he stopped and turned his head slightly to look over his shoulder at Tara.

To your surprise, he gave her a slight nod, before heaving you up onto his bird and settling right behind you.

As he nudged his bird to take off, he pulled you into his lap, arm wrapped around your waist possessively as you took into the skies, leaving Moonhaven behind.

He was being unusually quiet. You almost said something, but he beat you to it.

“You’re not going to be leaving the nest for a while.”

You groaned and threw your head back as he didn’t even bother looking at you. “It wasn’t even my fault!”

“We need to find your bird as well,” he added.

“Hah! Good luck! I don’t know where those mockingbirds chased him!”

He looked down at you with a smirk and held you closer, nudging you and teasing, “Mockingbirds?”

“Oh don’t get me started,” you huffed and looked away, cheeks turning red as he chuckled and led the way back to your home.

[that-one-weeb-buts-its-the-main]

Hi mate, how’ve you been? I was wondering if I could request a little mandrake x femme reader drabble, if you don’t mind? I’ve been scrolling through the epic tag aimlessly over the weekend cuz I was on vacation and remembered that you had done some requests yourself! Oh and thx sm for your support with my own stuff! <3

Wounds| Mandrake

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Reader: Female Reader| Mandrake x reader

Notes: Sorry for the lack of fics. I've been working so much, tbh It's stupid...

Warnings: mentions of wounds

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"You can't come in here- The king!-!" A gaurd shouted.

"Move! Or you'll never have kids again!" Y/n ordeded dress hiked up in her hands and on a tyrant.

He was quick to move Y/n moving forward. The one guard was luckily he was given mercy by her.

"Mandrake!" She shouted, causing the forest to flinch.

"Keep her out of here." Mandrake ordered his gaurds lazily, slumped over in his throne: beaten, cuts and brusies freshly fixed up.

The gaurds looked at each other and then separated themselves to give Y/n a pathway.

"You're dead!" Y/n contuined to rage.

Walking past the two gaurds. He only sighed, hand covering his face, his elbow supporting his upper body weight.

"What is your problem!? Are you serious!?" Y/n shouted.

"Please give me some peace and quiet!" He ordeded.

A big mistake; she was already mad, now she was furious.

"Peace and Quiet!? You want peace and quiet!?" Y/n argued, her nostrils flaring in anger: "I tried to give you peace and quiet! The whole Kingdom! But you and that Leafman idiot commander can't keep your hands off each other!"

"Do not word it that way-"

"What?! Honesty tick you off now?!" Y/n snapped. He glanced at her, and she started her pacing: "I'll have to meet with Queen Tara again! You and Ronin need to either back off or get married to one another! I already solved the border issue and now!-"

Her voice raged on a she turned to look at him, her voice falling to silence. Mandrake looked beat up, badly beat up. For only a moment she argued with herself; "I..." he started, "know you have been working hard, for peace...thank you,"

Y/n sighed, walking her way over; up the small steps to his throne, she kneeled at the base of his throen, he was slumped over making it easier for her to get a better look at his face, he hiding brusies under the hand which covered his face.

"Let me see." She spoke softly.

"I'm fine-"

Mandrake paused as she pushed his hand away softly, she frowning at the bruise forming under his eye.

"Have you..." Y/n started, reaching out to touch his face; his flinching, "so you haven't..."

Y/n looked back and called for a gaurd: "Get my medical equipment please, it's in my room," She told.

"Yes, my Queen." He responded and rushed off to do as ordered.

She turned around back to him as she cupped his cheek: he leaned into it: "What happened," y/n asked softly.

"It seems you know the answer to that." Mandrake answered. He sounded just as exhausted as he looked.

"My queen."

Y/n turned her head a gaurd there with her bag, "Thank you." She spoke taking it from him.

Y/n was quick to open the bag and look through her bottles of Tonics. She picking one out.

"What does that have in it?"

"Root-"

"Pine root?"

"Mhm-"

"No."

"I know it stings but it heals the best-"

Y/n put some on some cotton she had in another glass, and lifted her hand up to clean his wounds. Yet he blocked her.

"Mandrake-"

"No-"

"It's going to get infected if I don't clean it." Y/n argued.

"It stings-"

"Maybe you shouldn't of gone into a fight then."

He winced as she blotted his face: he hissing as she cleaned his wounds.

"I know. Im sorry." Y/n answered, quick to finish and pull away: "Where else?"

"Surely you don't think I'm going to undress for you in front of my own men." He teased; his eyes switching sides to look her way.

"If I asked?" She asked; sat all pretty on the backs of her feet, looking at him with the wish only to help.

"no." Mandrake answered.

"Damn it." Y/n cursed.

"You know that doesn't work on me," Was his response, she getting her bag back together, closing it up as she stood.

"That's not what you said a night ago." She snarked back, a smile across her face.

The guards standing attention at the entry way tried to hold it together.

"Damn sounds like Im getting more action than the boss?" A third grumbled to her coulleges.

"What was that!?" Mandrake shouted.

"Nothing, sir!" They were quick to answer.

"Be nice to the kids." Y/n protested, holding her hand out, "come on love, lets go and finsih patching you up."

[luvendiary]

HII ITS THE NOD LOVER🫶🫶 CAN YOU DO A NOD X READER WHERE THE READER IS CHOSEN AS QUEEN AFTER THE POD BLOOMS AND ITS JUST FLUFF BC NODS GF IS NOW QUEEN<3

a/n: hello! long time no see. i´m in college now! life´s been crazy latelly, but i tried to clear my mind from the stress of it by writing for a while. i had such a hard time with this request. i have a draft of it that might never see the light that i worked on for months. eventually i just decided to start from scratch and wrote this in three hours. hope you enjoy!

Queen Of The Pod

Your muscles were aching and begging at you to give them a break. But you couldn't, not yet. You groaned as you tried to crawl back with whatever energy remained in your body. 

Your leafman uniform was plagued with burn marks from Mandrake´s rot. Some of it had managed to singe your body, but it had been stopped from doing any major damage by your protective pieces.

You lifted your head up just to see Ronin struggling on the floor, being held down by Mandrake´s staff. 

“Don´t touch him, you decaying shit!” you groaned out as you reached for your blade -or attempted to.

“Lie down princess”, Mandrake said, barely sparing a glance at your weak figure. “I'll be with you in a second”. 

He then refocused his attention on the General and with an evil grin pushed the rot towards his face.

Ronin´s eyes went wide as he attempted to put as much distance as he could between him and the black gooey substance. You knew he wouldn't be able to hold for much longer. His face was covered in bruises, and he had been through hell and back just to be able to protect the pod.

At the very last moment, Mandrake rerouted his staff, and brought it down on Ronin´s chest, burning deeply into his chestplate. As the General winced, he took advantage of his weak position and pinned him down to the floor with his foot.

“What is that saying you leafmen have?” Mandrake mused as he nonchalantly threw his staff over his shoulder. “Lots of leaves…something, something. Very inspiring”. He then raised the staff over his head, and his smirk turned into a look of rage and anger. “But in the end, every leaf falls and  dies alone…”

Ronin´s eyes went wide as the staff came down towards his face with sudden speed. However the blow never landed, and when he opened his eyes two blades were protecting his face from being completely consumed by the rot.

“No one is alone”, Nod said as he pushed the staff away from Ronin.

As if on cue, an army of leafmen dropped from the sky in perfect formation. You came to the sudden realization that moonlight was now filtering through the chamber, meaning that the pod would be able to bloom after all.

“Not even him”, you added as you pointed your blade menacingly towards Mandrake. 

The arrival of your boyfriend had been timed perfectly. You had the urge to jump into his arms and make sure he was alright, but you limited yourself to a discreet smile.

‘I'm glad you´re okay’.

Mandrake seemed to come to the same conclusion as you had. The leafmen´s presence meant that they were not occupied with his soldiers; the darkness was not a threat anymore. Frantically he tried to break through the soldiers and get back to the pod, however you and Nod intertwined your blades once again, blocking his way to the center of the chamber.

Mandrake let out a growl of frustration as he pushed and fought harder, but the blooming pod seemed to give you newly renewed energy. You felt Tara with you. It was because of her that you were doing this, you would make her proud. 

With your fuelled energy, you both thrusted your blades forward at the same time that the pod bursted with energy, throwing Mandrake backwards. You hurriedly ran towards the entryway ready to fight him in case he wasn't ready to give up yet, however his drowning screams caught your attention as he was swallowed into the trunk of a tree by his own rot.

You allowed yourself to sigh out in relief, exhaustion washing over your body once again. You saw Nod already helping Ronin up from the floor, and offering him his shoulder as support. 

“You alright old man?” you asked as you sheath your sword. 

“I´m fine. A little bruised is all”, he replied. “How's your leg doing? He burned you pretty badly”. 

Nod approached you, after making sure Ronin was in fact okay, and made you place your arm around his shoulder as he held you securely by your waist. 

The sudden weight of the situation dawned on you. It was over. He was gone, and so was she. You missed her. From the moment Tara died, you had not been able to process her death but rather had been focused on fixing the disaster it had caused. Now that you weren't on this quest anymore, her absence was palpable.

“I wish she could be here”, you blurted out. You felt Nod hold on tighter to your waist as he rubbed comforting circles with his thumb on it. 

“She is,” Ronin said breathlessly, as his gaze landed upon the blooming pod. Now that the battle was over, the people of Moonhaven had come out of their hiding places and were staring in awe at the light emanating from the pod. 

The light particles hovered over the flower before gently flying out. They traveled along the chamber, as if greeting everyone there. As if Tara was happy to see them safe. It slowed down as they reached your small group, stopping ever so slightly in front of Ronin and shimmering a little bit brighter, before making its way over to you and Nod. You expected the same greeting as Ronin had had. A final goodbye from your sister. However, the light did not leave your side, and instead it started to shine brighter and bigger. 

Nod carefully  removed his arm from around your waist, and gave you your space.

The light suddenly took the shape of Tara. You tried your best to remember your training and straightened up with your arms by your side. However, you couldn´t stop the few tears that had formed in your eyes from escaping.

“You did alright kid,” she said with the kindest of smiles. “You're in great hands”.

She glanced back at Ronin, prompting the General to smile.

“There's that smile…” Tara said as she returned her loving gaze back to you. “Take care of them for me”.

“I can´t. I´m not fit for being a queen”, you whispered as your voice broke slightly. “It should be you. You should be here…with me”.

Tara held on to your shaking hands, “I'll alway be with you”.  With a final smile, she placed a tender kiss on your forehead. A bright light suddenly surrounded you and before you knew it, Tara was gone. Well, not really. That deep sadness you had been holding on to was gone. You could feel her. She lived within you. And you would make her proud, her legacy would live on through you.

A soft calling of your name broke you out of your trance. Your head snapped towards your awestruck boyfriend who was looking at you as if you were a star. You came to the sudden realization that the pain in your leg was gone, and as you glanced down to check on your wound you were surprised to see your runiform replaced with a stunning green and white dress. The queen's dress.

“You look stunning…” he breathed out. A smile crept onto his face as he approached you and wrapped his arms around you. You buried your head in the crook of his neck and let out a small laugh as he lifted you up from the ground and spun you. 

“Nod!” you laughed out. “Put me down”. 

“As you wish, your majesty”, he said as he set you down once again and playfully bowed. 

The people cheered, in celebration of their new queen. To which you offered them graceful smiles.

“You know what this means…” Ronin said as he stood next to you, his helmet held firmly on his right arm.

“What?¨ you asked.

“Nod better shape up”. 

You laughed at that, and glanced back at your boyfriend who was staring at you with a lovesick smile.

“I guess he does”.

[selfless-solipsist]

°˖✧ The Villain Meeting ✧˖° [Wander]

[I'm now writing in second-person pov, figured that it's better]

「 ✦ “A good tumble and a good laugh? You really do spoil me!” �� 」

╰┈➤ Wander x Female Reader ⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

You lounged on your massive, luxurious bed, your spaceship's quarters dimly lit by the ambient glow of the galaxy streaking past your window. The room was a clutter of indulgent villainous chaos: trophies of conquered worlds, a few stolen artifacts glowing ominously in the corner, and a mountain of mismatched pillows threatening to consume the bed. The camera for the weekly villain meeting framed only your face and shoulders, projecting your indifferent expression to the rest of the galaxy's bickering baddies.

In one window of the screen, Lord Hater lagged, his skeletal face frozen mid-rant. The lime-green glow of his eyes stuttered as his connection battled galactic interference. His jagged teeth were locked in what might have been a scream, or possibly a sneeze—it was hard to tell.

"No! I'm the best!" Lag freeze "THE GREATEST!" his voice caught up for a brief, ear-piercing second before cutting out again.

Great start.

Next to him, Emperor Awesome's window displayed a shark-headed jock wheezing with laughter, his muscular frame bouncing as he clutched his sides. "Oh my Grop, Hater, you're such a noob. Fix your signal, bro!" he barked, flashing teeth that belonged more in a horror film than a galactic council meeting. He adjusted his spiked black belt, as if his hot-pink disco pants weren't already screaming for attention.

To the right of Awesome, Kragthar of Kraaathhh's video feed had frozen in the worst possible moment. His pig-like nose was scrunched up, and the angle of the camera had blessed him with an unflattering double chin. Pink flames barely flickered on the edge of his frozen frame, and his name placard blinked accusingly with the misspelled label: "Kragthar of Kaarrtthh."

You snorted softly, not bothering to hide the smirk playing on your lips. With one hand, you twirled a lollipop lazily, the sugary treat clicking against your teeth whenever you took a disinterested lick. This spectacle of absurdity—this villainous... PowerPoint meeting from hell—was the most entertainment you had had all week. 

And yet, none of them noticed the most chaotic part of your situation.

Nestled beneath the covers, Wander had made himself at home against you. His wide, floppy green hat sat precariously atop your bra on the nightstand, a quiet testament to the pre-meeting activities you had indulged in. The tangerine-colored nomad, with his always-cheerful grin, was currently kneading at your chest like a contented cat making biscuits. His eyes were half-lidded in concentration, his furred stomach lightly brushing against your bare skin under the blankets. You could feel his warm breath against your collarbone as he hummed a nonsensical tune.

It was absurd. Ridiculous. Incredibly Wander. 

And you? 

You were just letting him. After all, you were his first girlfriend, and if there was one thing Wander adored, it was you. Or maybe it was just your boobs. The distinction didn't matter—you had conquered galaxies; you could handle the attentions of a fluffy orange spoon.

"Mmm," Wander mumbled, pausing his feline-like ministrations to nuzzle closer. "You're so soft... like a cloud!"

"I'm sure," you murmured dryly, shifting the lollipop to the other side of your mouth. You resisted the urge to roll your eyes and adjusted the camera slightly, ensuring that none of his antics made it onto the screen.

"Uh, hello!?" Awesome's voice snapped you out of your thoughts. His window expanded slightly as he leaned closer to his camera, completely ignoring the frozen Kragthar and the lagging Hater. "You gonna back me up, or what? I clearly throw way better parties than anyone else here."

"You trashed an entire planet because they ran out of Thunderblazz," you replied flatly, your deadpan tone cutting through his bravado like a laser. "Such an achievement."

"Hey! That's... well, yeah, but it was justified! They insulted my vibes!" Awesome crossed his arms, pouting like a toddler denied a candy bar.

"Right. Very villainous of you," you drawled, taking another languid lick of your lollipop. You could feel Wander's soft chuckle vibrate against your ribs as he resumed his "biscuit-making."

Suddenly, Hater's voice burst through, his connection deciding to cooperate just long enough for him to yell, "I don't care about your dumb parties! I'm the GREATEST IN THE GALAXY!"

"Aw, is someone grumpy?" The shark villan teased, throwing an arm around his chair like he was about to break into song. "Maybe you need a little... cha-cha-cha... dance therapy?" He wiggled his shoulders in a ridiculous shimmy.

You couldn't help it. A laugh slipped out before you could stifle it, and both Awesome and Hater froze, staring at your screen. Wander, oblivious to the unfolding drama, nuzzled further against you, his content purr-like hum barely audible to the microphone.

Hater squinted suspiciously. "What... what was that noise?" he demanded, leaning closer to his camera until his skull face filled the screen.

"Oh, nothing," you said smoothly, leaning your chin on one hand. "Just enjoying the... entertainment."

The screen flickered, and Kragthar's frozen image briefly dissolved into static before reappearing with an even worse angle. Awesome fell back into laughter, and Hater's ranting resumed. Meanwhile, the nomad continued his affectionate mischief under the covers, blissfully unaware of the chaos on screen—and you wouldn't have it any other way.

After all, this was just how the meetings went.

And pure chaos they were.

The meeting droned on, but you were hardly paying attention. With each second, Wander's innocent humming and his peculiar choice of leisure activity had your focus divided. As the galaxy's most infamous villains argued over meaningless power grabs and party etiquette, he was blissfully undeterred by the chaos, his tiny hands working their so-called magic. You didn't even want to ask what kind of "technique" he thought this was.

"Woo-wee, darlin'," Wander suddenly piped up, his Southern twang as thick as molasses and ten times as dangerous. His bright eyes sparkled as they darted to the lollipop in your hand. "I gotta say, sugar, you sure know how to put that mouth of yours to real good use!"

You choked. Literally.

The lollipop caught mid-motion as your body betrayed you, sending you into a coughing fit. Your eyes watered as you sputtered, desperate to regain composure before the meeting's chaos magnified. A hand shot to your throat, the other gripping the edge of the covers to keep from exposing more than your pride.

On the screen, Awesome was mid-sentence, but he stopped. "Uh... You good there?" His shark-like grin faltered as his muscled arms flexed unconsciously, like he was ready to save you or something.

"Fine!" you croaked, waving a hand to dismiss his concern while glaring daggers at Wander. He simply giggled, leaning his head on your shoulder and giving your cheek a noisy, exaggerated kiss, as if you hadn't already suffered enough embarrassment for one meeting.

"Aw, she's blushing!" The other villain cackled, pointing at your screen with glee. "What's got you so flustered? Someone got a crush on me?" He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively, and you shot him a glare that could have incinerated a moon.

Before you could retaliate verbally, Hater's screen blinked back to life with a vengeance. "WHAT WAS THAT?!" he roared, leaning so close to his camera that his skeletal features were practically burnt into your retinas.

"What was what?" you asked coolly, fighting the urge to shove Wander off as he snuggled even closer, practically melting into you like butter on a hot biscuit.

"That! That kissy noise!" Hater's finger jabbed at the camera, his green eyes narrowing. "That wasn't you! That was—!" His voice broke off, and his bony jaw dropped as Wander, ever the beacon of cheerful audacity, waved enthusiastically at the screen.

"Hiya, buddy!" Wander chirped, his grin as bright as a supernova. "Fancy seein' you here! Boy howdy, you look madder than a rattlesnake with a sore tooth!"

Hater didn't just see red; he saw the entire spectrum of anger. 

"WANDER?! What the—what the actual galaxy—YOU'RE HERE?!" He clutched his chest as if the betrayal physically pained him. "How... how could you—?! You of all people—!" His finger shook, bouncing between you and Wander's joyous expression.

"Yup, it's me!" The nomad confirmed, unfazed by the villain's meltdown. "Bet you're wonderin' how we're doin', huh? Well, let me tell ya—"

You slapped a hand over his mouth faster than light. "Don't," you hissed under your breath, your tone laced with warning. The grin beneath your palm widened mischievously. Wander mumbled something you couldn't decipher, but you knew it wasn't anything innocent.

"THAT'S IT! I'VE OFFICIALLY LOST IT!" The skeleton screeched, flailing in his chair like an overgrown toddler. "You—YOU—how can YOU be dating the biggest do-gooder in the galaxy?!"

"Technically," you mused, removing your hand from Wander's face, "I'm dating the cutest do-gooder in the galaxy." You gave the man in question a quick pinch on the cheek, earning a delighted giggle from the little orange menace.

And so your boyfriend leaned into the camera, squinting as if he couldn't quite see Hater properly. "Aw, Hatey, ya got a little somethin'—" he gestured vaguely at his own mouth "—right there. Oh, wait, that's just yer face!"

Awesome wheezed so hard he fell out of his chair. Hater screamed, louder than any hyperspace explosion.

Meanwhile, Kragthar's frozen feed continued to blink ominously in the background, an unintentional metaphor for the utter absurdity that had become your evening.

But then Hater's meltdown reached a fever pitch as he jabbed his skeletal finger at the screen. "GET HIM OFF MY SCREEN! I CAN'T TAKE IT! I'M GONNA LOSE MY—"

Before he could finish, a small, distinctly familiar figure popped into a brand-new window on the call. Bob, one of Hater's Watchdogs, blinked his single red eye innocently. "Uh, is this the meeting Commander Peepers set up for us soldiers?" His high-pitched voice crackled through, distorted slightly by his outdated microphone.

"WHO DARES?! WHAT THE—GET OUT OF HERE!" The overlord shrieked, flinging his bony arms around like he could swat the screen. His lime-green eyes burned brighter, their glow stuttering with his frazzled internet connection. "THIS ISN'T FOR YOU! YOU'RE RUINING EVERYTHING!"

"Oh, my bad, my bad!" Bob stammered, hands raised apologetically. But before he could click out of the meeting, two more Watchdog windows popped up.

"Wait, Bob, are you in the Peepers meeting?" one Watchdog asked, tilting his head quizzically. "I thought it was supposed to be a video conference," another chimed in, their audio cutting in and out like a bad radio signal.

"GET OUT!" Hater bellowed, his entire skull vibrating with frustration. "I DON'T CARE WHERE YOU GO—JUST NOT HERE!"

But it was too late.

Like an unstoppable domino effect, Watchdog windows began multiplying across the screen. They filled every available space, little cyclopean heads popping in with confused expressions, echoing queries of "Is this the meeting?" and "What's going on?" And within moments, the chaos reached its peak. Some of them began discovering the filters and effects, their tiny faces morphing into sparkly cat ears, rainbow overlays, and inexplicable pirate hats. One even activated a setting that turned their screen into a shimmering underwater paradise, complete with bubbles.

Wander clapped his hands gleefully, leaning closer to the screen. "Hey there, Wally! Oh, and there's Pip! Oh golly, how've ya been, Scoots? Ooh, nice filter, Zeke! You're lookin' sharp!"

Hater twitched violently as his arch-nemesis greeted every single soldier by name. The lag caused his image to freeze, leaving him stuck in a pose disturbingly similar to The Thinker. His skeletal chin rested thoughtfully on one fist, right next to Kragthar's perpetually frozen, unflattering frame. The juxtaposition made it look like the skeleton was silently judging a piece of avant-garde art.

Emperor Awesome's laughter rang out again as he pointed at the screen, tears streaming from his black shark eyes. "Hater! Bro! You look like you're contemplating the meaning of life over there! Oh, man, this is rich!"

"GET ME OUT OF THIS NIGHTMARE!" Hater's voice finally broke through, though his video feed remained stuck. He sounded like he was on the verge of shattering into a thousand angry pieces. "WHY DO THEY HAVE FILTERS?! WHO LET THEM TOUCH THE SETTINGS?!"

One Watchdog with a starry galaxy background piped up cheerfully, "I dunno, sir, but this is awesome!"

"No, it's not!" He yelled back, his lagging audio dragging out the last word into an embarrassing robotic whine.

Meanwhile, Wander was fully absorbed in his reunion tour, waving at every single Watchdog who popped up. You couldn't help but laugh as he adjusted his position, now sitting cross-legged on the bed with the covers barely clinging to your dignity. Every cheer and greeting from the helper seemed to amplify Hater's rage to catastrophic levels.

And through it all, Kragthar's window remained frozen, his double-chin glory unbothered by the chaos erupting around him.

After a while, Wander let out a happy sigh, wrapping his arms snugly around your torso as he nestled against you like the world’s most cheerful barnacle. His expression was pure bliss, his wide, innocent grin showcasing just how thoroughly satisfied he was—not just from your “pre-meeting activities” but from the sheer joy of now having an audience to torment Hater in front of. For Wander, it was like hitting the universal jackpot.

“Boy howdy, darlin’,” he cooed, his Southern drawl warm and syrupy. “A good tumble and a good laugh? You really do spoil me!” He punctuated the statement with a loud, playful smooch on your cheek, making your lollipop almost tumble from your lips for the second time that night.

Hater’s scream was instantaneous.

“GET YOUR DISGUSTING LOVE STUFF OFF MY SCREEN! THIS IS A PROFESSIONAL MEETING!”

Wander grinned, leaning lazily against you. “Aw, Hatey, you’re just jealous ‘cause you ain’t got anyone to smooch on! Don't worry, love will find ya, buddy!” He fluttered his eyelashes dramatically, eliciting a furious screech from the skeleton that was so loud, several Watchdogs in the windows visibly flinched.

But desperate to regain some semblance of control, Hater stabbed at his console, his bony fingers jamming buttons with reckless abandon. Unfortunately, his efforts backfired spectacularly. Kragthar’s frozen feed suddenly unfroze (how it was connected in any way nobody knew), his frame jolting to life—only for his camera to flip completely upside down. Now, the hulking, flaming villain appeared to be dangling from the top of the screen, his face twisting in confused annoyance.

“WHAT IS THIS SORCERY?!” The flaming villain bellowed, his voice booming as his tusked face swung wildly close to the upside-down lens. The pink flames around him flickered comically as he tried to correct his position, succeeding only in making himself look like a villainous bat clinging to the screen’s edge.

Awesome completely lost it. His laughter was so uncontrollable that he fell out of frame entirely, the sound of his chair toppling over barely audible through his gasping wheezes. “This… is… the BEST MEETING EVER!” he managed between gulps of air, his silhouette occasionally flailing as he fought to stand back up.

“EVERYBODY SHUT UP!” Hater howled, slamming his fists on his console. His frozen feed remained stuck in “The Thinker” pose, which only added to the absurdity of his impotent rage. “Watchdogs, GET OUT! ALL OF YOU, GET OUT!”

The Watchdogs panicked, their screens erupting into frantic activity as dozens of them tried to exit the call simultaneously. The result was a technological nightmare of body parts: close-ups of Watchdog butts, feet, elbows, and other awkward angles flooded the screen as they fumbled with their devices. One window briefly displayed a Watchdog’s lightning-bolt helmet bouncing as he tripped over something off-screen. Another window zoomed in uncomfortably close on a single eye, the pupil darting in all directions in a state of pure terror.

“LEAVE! LEAVE! I DON’T WANNA SEE YOUR BUTTS!” Their boss screamed, his voice cracking like a broken speaker. “WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BUTTS?!”

Why indeed.

Wander was giggling so hard now that tears streamed down his furry orange cheeks. He tightened his grip around you, burying his face against your neck as he cackled. “Oh, Hatey,” he gasped, his voice muffled. “You sure know how to throw a party! Maybe Awesome’s not the only one with ‘vibes,’ huh?”

“WANDER!” Hater screeched. His fury was palpable, even through the ridiculous frozen pose he remained trapped in. “GET OFF MY SCREEN! GET OFF MY—”

“Whoopsie-doodle!” The nomad interrupted cheerfully, reaching toward your camera and tilting it slightly, booping one of the buttons with his fuzzy finger. Now, Hater’s frozen, contemplative image sat directly next to Kragthar’s upside-down chaos, creating an accidental tableau that looked like Hater was thoughtfully judging Kragthar’s bat-like acrobatics.

“Perfect composition,” Wander said with an exaggerated artistic air, nodding approvingly. “You should hang this in your art gallery, Hatey.”

The skeleton’s scream reached a decibel level so high it could probably shatter glass.

But with the Watchdogs finally gone, the chaos levels dropped from apocalyptic to merely disastrous. Hater was still frozen on-screen in his “The Thinker” pose, but his voice had returned, though strained and wheezing like an overworked hovercraft. He took a deep, unnecessary breath and growled, “Okay… okay. They’re gone. I can almost pretend this isn’t the worst meeting of my life.”

You, smirking behind your lollipop, raised a hand placatingly. “Don’t worry, Hater. I’ll keep Wander behaved.” You patted the hatless head of your boyfriend, earning a delighted nuzzle that screamed anything but behaved.

Hater’s jaw visibly clenched. “As I was saying,” he began, his tone low and simmering with suppressed rage, “about the dibs on Planet Gronko—”

A new screen suddenly popped up, overtaking half the feed. 

Because of course.

The dark, blurry image of a hunched figure materialized, his ancient, wrinkled green face squinting at the camera as though it were a malevolent spirit. It was Mandrake the Malfeasant, and he looked as confused and technologically inept as ever.

“By the void, what in tarnation is this?” The old man croaked, his raspy voice thick with confusion and phlegm. He leaned forward, his beady eyes magnified grotesquely by his glasses. “Is this blasted contraption on? Hrmph! Took me half an eon to figure it out, but I won’t let some puny gadget outsmart me!”

Hater’s entire skeletal frame visibly sagged in despair. “No… no, not again… Mandrake, this is the seventeenth time—”

Mandrake cut him off with a hacking cough that sounded like a dying engine. He clutched his chest dramatically, wheezing so violently it looked like he might keel over. “It’s fine!” he rasped between coughs, waving off the concern that no one offered. “This old villain’s still got plenty of steam in him! Nothing—cough, cough—nothing can take me down. Not even… that dreaded Batman!”

Wander’s nonexistent ears perked up, his mouth twitching with suppressed giggles. “Batman?” he echoed, his wide grin growing impossibly wider. “Golly, Mandrake, I don’t think—”

But the villain squinted harder at the screen, his focus zeroing in on Kragthar’s frozen, upside-down feed. The pink flames flickered eerily, and the angle made Kragthar look like he was yelling insults at the camera.

“Blast it all, there he is!” Mandrake shouted, pointing a trembling finger at the screen. “That caped crusader finally found me! I won’t be rattled by you, Batman! Not today, not ever!”

“Kragthar,” Hater said through gritted teeth. “That’s Kragthar.”

Mandrake ignored him entirely, his frail body trembling with a mix of fear and righteous indignation. “I’ve faced foes far more terrifying than you, Dark Knight! You think your tricks can work on me? Ha! I was born in the shadows!” His triumphant declaration was promptly interrupted by another coughing fit so intense it nearly knocked his glasses off.

The skeleton buried his skeletal face in his hands. “I can’t do this. I cannot do this.”

Emperor Awesome, who had finally recovered enough to sit upright, was once again losing it. His wheezing laughter echoed through the call, loud and obnoxious. “Yo, Hater! You can’t even handle a retiree! This is priceless!”

Meanwhile, Wander gave a cheerful wave to Mandrake. “Mr. Malfeasant! Long time, no see! Boy, you sure look spry today!”

“Spry?!” The old evil-dooer barked, his ancient voice rattling like a rusty chain. “I’ll show you spry! Just wait ‘til I—” His tirade ended with another near-death coughing fit, this one so violent you wondered if he might actually keel over on camera.

Amid the chaos, Kragthar’s frozen feed remained resolutely upside-down, his expression twisted into eternal indignation. The juxtaposition of his fiery rage and Mandrake’s obliviousness was enough to send Awesome tumbling off his chair again, laughing so hard it sounded like he was choking on his own tongue.

Hater finally snapped. “MANDRAKE, GET OFF THIS CALL BEFORE YOU ACTUALLY DIE ON SCREEN!”

Mandrake hacked out a weak laugh. “Heh, you wish, Hater. This old dog’s got plenty of fight left! And as for you, Batman—” He pointed dramatically at Kragthar’s frozen feed. “You can’t stop me, no matter what tricks you pull!”

The self-proclaimed 'greatest in the galaxy' slammed his fists against his console, his patience teetering on the brink of obliteration. “MANDRAKE, YOU’RE TALKING TO KRAGTHAR, NOT BATMAN! HE DOESN’T EVEN WEAR A CAPE! GET OFF THE CALL BEFORE YOU GIVE ME A MIGRAINE!”

But the other villain just adjusted his glasses with a shaky hand, his face leaning so close to the camera that only his wrinkled green nose filled the screen. “Nice try, Hater. I know when I’m being tricked! Batman’s sneaky, but I’m sneakier! You think you can—” Whatever he was about to say was cut off by the most ear-piercing wheeze yet, a coughing fit so violent it shook his entire screen. His ancient body spasmed as though a ghost were trying to escape him, his hacking loud enough to drown out Awesome’s relentless laughter in the background.

“Somebody get him a glass of water!” Wander exclaimed, clutching his own chest as if he were about to cough in sympathy. “Golly, Mr. Malfeasant, you sound like you swallowed a tumbleweed! You alright?”

Mandrake waved a dismissive hand, his voice rasping like sandpaper on steel. “I’m fine! Fine, I say! Nothing can—cough—nothing can take me down!”

“Kragthar’s flames could,” Awesome quipped, wiping tears from his eyes as he finally dragged himself upright. “Man’s been frozen for half the meeting, and he’s still more intimidating than you, grandpa.”

As if on cue, Kragthar’s screen flickered, momentarily unfreezing to reveal his hulking form glaring upside-down at the camera. The angle made him look like he was mid-roar, his tusks casting wild shadows across his face. Then, just as quickly, the feed froze again, preserving him in all his furious, upside-down glory.

“Oh, Neptune, he’s a masterpiece!” Awesome cackled, slapping his knee. “Hater, you gotta sell tickets to these meetings. I’d pay good money for this kind of comedy.”

“THIS ISN’T COMEDY!” Hater shrieked, his frozen image still stuck in “The Thinker” pose. “I’M SURROUNDED BY IDIOTS!”

Mandrake, oblivious to everything, jabbed a gnarled finger at Kragthar’s frozen screen. “You hear me, Batman? You don’t scare me! Come at me with all you’ve got, you pointy-eared punk!” He let out a hacking laugh, his frail body trembling with misplaced triumph.

The skeleton groaned, dragging his skeletal hands down his face. “Why do I even try? This was supposed to be a simple meeting. A SIMPLE MEETING!”

“And now it’s an absolute hoot!” Wander chirped, grinning ear to ear as he gave you a squeeze. “Ain’t it great, darlin’? All our favorite folks in one place! Even Mr. Kragthar’s lookin’ dapper upside-down like that.”

Kragthar’s perpetually furious expression stared unblinkingly from his frozen feed, his pink flames flickering like angry neon signs. The juxtaposition of his intimidating form and Mandrake’s nonsensical rambling was almost too much.

“Mandrake,” Hater said, his voice eerily calm, like a storm ready to break. “If you don’t leave this meeting in the next five seconds, I will personally—”

But before he could finish, Mandrake’s screen jolted violently, his camera flipping upside-down to match Kragthar’s. The sudden shift sent Mandrake into a frenzy, his glasses sliding down his nose as he scrambled to right himself. “WHAT IN THE VOID IS THIS SORCERY?! HE’S HACKING ME! BATMAN’S HACKING ME!”

Awesome fell out of frame again, his howling laughter echoing like a siren.

You leaned back against Wander, who was practically vibrating with joy. “I gotta admit,” you murmured, your voice dripping with amusement, “this is the most entertaining villain meeting I’ve ever attended.”

Wander nodded vigorously. “Best. Day. EVER!”

Hater’s scream reverberated through the call, his frozen image glaring like a tortured art piece as he yelled, “THIS IS THE WORST MEETING OF MY LIFE!”

And, of course, Mandrake’s upside-down feed cut back in just long enough for him to cough so hard you thought he might seriously keel over before the meeting could end.

Chaos truly reigned supreme.

So then you cleared your throat, straightened up, and tapped the edge of your lollipop against your teeth in mock seriousness. Chaos erupted in every corner of the meeting call: Mandrake wheezing upside-down, Kragthar frozen mid-insult like a bat-themed statue, and Awesome howling so hard in laughter that he was practically a full-time tumbleweed. But you? You were a professional villain, and it was high time someone acted like it.

“Right,” you said, leaning forward and glaring at Hater’s frozen feed with all the gravity you could muster. “About those dibs on Planet Gronko…”

Wander perked up beside you, his grin widening. “Oh, darlin’, this is the good part! Tell ‘em how you’re gonna take it all sneaky-like!” He rested his chin on your shoulder, his expression equal parts mischievous and supportive. “Y’know, right before I foil it!”

You swatted his head lightly, though the affection was evident. “No foiling. We’re conquering today, not playing sabotage.”

“Aw, sugar, I’m just sayin’,” He cooed, his tone dripping with honeyed sweetness. “Wouldn’t it be more fun if we, oh, I dunno, turned Gronko into a picnic planet instead? Blanket under the stars, some pie… maybe a little banjo music…” His eyes twinkled as he looked at you, like he was proposing the most innocent idea in the universe. “We could even invite Hater! He loves food!”

“ABSOLUTELY NOT!” Hater’s voice blasted through the call, though his image remained resolutely frozen. “You’re NOT turning my dibs into some lame picnic planet!”

You ignored him, keeping your tone measured. “As I was saying, Hater, Planet Gronko is officially mine. No question. It’s got everything: untapped resources, strategic placement, and a prime location for dramatic evil monologues.”

“It’s got terrible parking!” The skeleton barked, clearly desperate to regain some control. “And it smells like sulfur!”

“Sulfur smells like victory,” you deadpanned, twirling your lollipop like a villainous scepter. “And as the superior conqueror, I’m claiming it.”

Wander gasped in mock admiration, his hands clasping together dramatically before he started fawning himself with one of them. “Oh, sugar, I love it when you talk all evil! Makes my heart go pitter-patter!”

“Stop encouraging her!” Hater snarled, though his static-laden voice crackled more than thundered. “You’re supposed to be the good guy, remember?!”

“Oh, I’m good all right,” Wander replied with a wink, leaning further into you. “Good at foiling plans, good at spreading cheer, and good at smoochin’ my girl after a successful thwart.” He gave you a quick peck on the cheek, eliciting a furious groan from the skeleton.

Mandrake’s voice wheezed back into the conversation. “Hold on… hold on…” His upside-down feed trembled violently as he fiddled with his camera. “Did someone say smooches? I’ll have you know, back in my day, I was quite the ladies’—COUGH, COUGH—ladies’ man…”

“Mandrake, NO ONE CARES!” Hater roared, his patience fracturing into microscopic pieces. “CAN WE PLEASE FOCUS?!”

You smirked, watching as the oldest villain in the meeting accidentally flipped his feed sideways, now giving the impression that he was reclining on a chaise lounge. “Look, Hater,” you said, feigning sympathy. “I get it. You want to stake a claim. But let’s be honest—my dibs are non-negotiable.”

“You can’t just—!” He started, but a loud clattering noise interrupted him as Awesome’s chair gave out entirely.

“Oh, sorry, Hater!” Awesome chimed in, clearly not sorry in the slightest. “I couldn’t hear you over the sound of your frozen face judging Kragthar like a bad art critic.”

The overlord screeched incoherently, his lagging feed stuttering so badly that his voice sounded like a possessed Speak & Spell. Meanwhile, Wander tilted his head, watching you with the expression of a smug cat. “So, uh, honey bun,” he said, his voice dripping with faux innocence. “Just how you gonna conquer Gronko, huh? Big evil speech? Giant death ray? Ooh, I love the classics!”

“I haven’t decided yet,” you replied smoothly. “But don’t get any ideas about ruining it.”

Your fuzzy boyfriend gasped, clutching his chest dramatically. “Ruin it? Never! Why, I’ll be there right alongside ya! Maybe…” His smile turned impish. “Maybe with a little picnic basket on the side.”

“I hate this meeting,” Hater muttered, his frozen image somehow managing to look more miserable as chaos erupted again.

But then, as if the skeleton's brain started buffering in the middle of the whole situation, still frozen in the same pose of course, his voice broke through the chaos like a badly-tuned holo-radio. “You know what? I’ve had it. I can’t take it anymore!” His green eyes blazed in fury, his tone reaching a level of incredulity that threatened to implode the entire meeting.

“What… WHAT were you even doing with him before the meeting?!”

The room—or rather, the intergalactic hellscape of video feeds—went dead silent for half a second. Even Mandrake paused his upside-down rambling, his gnarled finger hovering mid-point. Awesome gasped audibly, his sharp teeth flashing as his face disappeared from the screen, likely from another fit of laughter. Kragthar, perpetually frozen and upside-down, seemed to silently echo Hater’s confusion with his distorted, roaring grimace.

Wander perked up like a puppy that had just been offered a treat, his wide, innocent grin bright enough to light a black hole. “Oh, you mean before the meeting?” he asked, his tone chipper and completely oblivious to the bomb he was about to drop. “Well, Hatey, you know how it is! Just spendin’ some quality time with my sweetie here, gettin’… acquainted.” He emphasized the word with a waggle of his eyebrows, snuggling closer to you like a cat claiming its territory.

Hater’s jaw unhinged.

“ACQUAINTED?!” His voice cracked, his static-laden screech rattling through the speakers. “What does that even mean?!”

You tried—tried—to suppress the grin tugging at your lips as you twirled the lollipop between your fingers. “Let’s just say, Hater, that Wander and I were… busy.” Your voice was velvety smooth, laced with a subtle mischief that only added fuel to the already raging fire.

“Busy?” The skeleton squawked, his skull practically vibrating from frustration. “What does that mean?! Were you… playing cards? Building a spaceship? WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY BUSY?!”

“Oh, Hatey,” Wander said with a chuckle, resting his head against your shoulder. “It’s like when you cuddle with Captain Tim, but, uh, with a li’l more pizzazz!” His innocent smile and dreamy expression were perfectly at odds with the absolute havoc he was causing.

Hater froze—mentally, this time, not just technologically. “More pizzazz? I DON’T UNDERSTAND!” His hands flailed at the screen, his lightning-bolt horns jiggling wildly. “WHY IS THIS SO CONFUSING?! WHAT IS HAPPENING?!”

Mandrake, still upside-down and utterly unhelpful, cleared his throat, sending a raspy wheeze through the feed. “Ah, the mysteries of youth,” he mused, as if he were waxing poetic. “I remember the days when I had pizzazz. And Star-bella that ol' rascal! Why, we once—”

“MANDRAKE, SHUT UP!” Hater screamed, slamming his fists down with enough force to rattle his console. “THIS ISN’T ABOUT YOU! THIS IS ABOUT THEM!”

“Aw, Hatey, no need to get all worked up!” The nomad said soothingly, his tone completely oblivious to the fact that it was doing the opposite. “I mean, sure, we had some fun, but now we’re here! With you! Ain’t that great?”

“No! No, it’s NOT GREAT!” Hater’s voice hit a decibel level that made you instinctively wince. His frozen face glared daggers at the screen, as if he could physically reach through and strangle Wander. “Why are you like this?! Why is everything like this?! And WHY do you keep… doing… things?!”

Wander tilted his head thoughtfully, as if the answer were the simplest thing in the galaxy. “Because I love her!” he declared, throwing his arms wide and beaming at you like you were the stars themselves.

Hater’s skeletal hands clenched into trembling fists. “THAT’S IT! MEETING OVER!” His voice cracked like a thunderclap as he jabbed wildly at his console. “I CAN’T TAKE IT! I’M ENDING THIS FOR EVERYONE! EVERYONE!”

Before you could respond, the screen flickered. One by one, every feed blinked out: Kragthar, Mandrake, Awesome (who was wheezing uncontrollably in his seat), and finally, Hater himself.

The room was suddenly quiet, save for the faint hum of your spaceship’s engine. Wander blinked, staring at the now-blank screen. “Huh,” he said thoughtfully, scratching his chin.

...

 “Wonder why he didn’t do that earlier?” He arched one eyebrow.

You couldn’t help it. The laughter bubbled out of you, spilling into the room as Wander joined in, his delighted giggles filling the space. “Because,” you managed between laughs, “this is Hater we’re talking about. Chaos is part of his brand.”

He leaned in, planting a noisy kiss on your cheek. “Golly, I sure do love chaos,” he said with a grin. “Almost as much as I love you!”

You rolled your eyes fondly, tossing your lollipop onto the nightstand. “You’re impossible.”

“And you love it,” Wander replied, snuggling against you like a satisfied cat.

And, honestly? He wasn’t wrong.

But the laughter eventually subsided, leaving the room wrapped in a comfortable silence, save for the ambient hum of your ship and the galaxy streaking past your window. Your sweet boyfriend was still nestled against you, his arms looped lazily around your waist, his expression content. His floppy green hat sat proudly on the nightstand next to your discarded lollipop, a quiet testament to the chaos that had unfolded—and the even greater chaos that had preceded it. You ran a hand through his fur, leaning back into the mound of mismatched pillows that took up half the bed. “Well, that was something,” you murmured, a small smirk tugging at the corners of your lips.

“Sure was, sweetie-pie,” He agreed, his voice soft but brimming with delight. He tilted his head up, his eyes glinting with mischief. “But, uh… I was thinkin’...”

“Oh no,” you said immediately, narrowing your eyes. “Every time you ‘think,’ I end up with bruises and hickeys in weird places.”

“That’s part of the fun!” he chirped, sitting up with sudden enthusiasm. His wide grin stretched across his face as he waved his hands excitedly. “Now hear me out, darlin’. I was readin’ this book about star-crane origami, right? And it got me thinkin’ about somethin’ called the ‘Lunar Fold.’ It’s kinda like that thing we tried in the torture room last month, remember?”

Your eyebrows shot up, and you let out a startled laugh. “Oh, you mean the time we accidentally triggered the electric agony rack mid-session and fried half the circuits in the ship?”

“Yup!” Wander said cheerfully, his eyes twinkling. “But don’t you worry, this one’s way safer! I promise there won’t be any accidental zappin’. Probably.”

“‘Probably?’” you repeated, giving him a skeptical look. “That’s not exactly reassuring, Hornball.”

He waved a dismissive hand, scooting closer and resting his chin on your shoulder. “C’mon, darlin’, trust me! I’ve been workin’ out the angles in my head, and I just know the Lunar Fold’s gonna be the bee’s knees. Way better than the ‘Upside-Down Intergalactic Pretzel,’ that’s for sure.”

You stared at him, torn between amusement and exasperation. “You named it that after we nearly dislocated everything.”

“Exactly! Which is why the Lunar Fold’s so much better!” He leaned in closer, his breath warm against your ear. “Less bendy, more… starry. And I’ll be real gentle this time, promise.”

Your lips quirked up in a smirk as you leaned back, meeting his gaze. “You’re lucky I like you.”

“I’m lucky you love me,” he corrected, nuzzling your neck with a grin that was far too sweet for the absolute chaos he always brought to your life. 

With one quick motion, he hopped up onto his knees, his excitement bubbling over. “Alrighty then, sugar! Let’s get to it! The stars won’t see themselves, y’know!”

You couldn’t help but laugh, shaking your head as you let him tug you toward the center of the bed. Chaos, mischief, and possibly questionable physics were inevitable—but with Wander, it was always an adventure worth taking.

Meanwhile, somewhere across the galaxy, Kragthar of Kraaathhh was still frozen. Only this time, it wasn’t his video feed. He stood in his villainous lair, his pink flames flickering weakly as his single, furious thought echoed into the empty silence.

“…Where did everyone go?”

[mochinomnoms]

say you can't sleep, baby, I know

NSFW!Trey x Reader

Synopsis

You're doing this on purpose, aren't you? You're trying to rile him up, right? He's supposed to be the responsible, big brother of Heartslabyul, he tries so hard. So, so hard to stay out of trouble and have a normal day-to-day life. Trey used to pride himself on his levelheadedness and restraint, but that all went out the window into a swan dive into the lake when he saw you in his bed in that damn one-piece. “Happy Birthday Trey~”

[wc} - 5,258

[cw/tags] - afab!gn!reader (im sorry folks it's all i know how to write still), NRC is a university in this, domesticity kink, birthday sex, breeding kink (sue me), oral (giving & receiving), trey can be a little mean as a treat

[notes] - i apologize for the person i've become after seeing trey's new b-day card. it does things to me and this is 100% self-indulgent for me. also, tried to use very neutral descriptors for reader so tell me how that went and if it reads well! lastly, the outfit the reader wears is based on sabrina carpenter's outfits from her short n' sweet tour, specifically the baby doll one!

Written while listening to “Espresso” by Sabrina Carpenter, I recommend listening to it while reading :)

Let’s consider exactly the type of person Trey is.

Ever since he’s started school at NRC, he’s always taken a bit of a parental role in Heartslabyul, even before he became vice housewarden. Even Cater would joke about it when they first became friends:

“You’re, like, a total big bro! O-M-G, no! You’re like a dad friend! I’m totes willing to bet that the incoming freshmen are gonna slip up! Call you Dad or something!”

Evidently, when Riddle came into the picture and Trey was appointed his vice, Cater was proven right. He didn’t mind it too much, despite what others might think. 

He liked the familiarity of it, being the oldest at home, it translated well into his position at Heartslabyul, and it came with the added bonus of being able to minimize any chaos that arose. 

That was his main goal, especially with Riddle’s temper during his freshman and at the beginning of his sophomore year. Honestly, he had phenomenal conflict resolution skills, and he just wanted to make his life as easy as possible. 

Everyone at this school liked to make that difficult, though, especially the freshmen of this year.

“Oh fu—I mean sh—dam—fuc—shi—FIDDLESTICKS!”

“Dude, just say fuck, why you gotta say the corniest shit—OW—Treyyy! Deuce hit me!”

Deuce had a guilty look on his face as Trey looked up from his notebook to raise a brow at the two.

“W-well, Ace cussed, so he has to put money in the swear jar!”

“Aw what! Come on Trey!” Ace whined, shoving Deuce’s face to the side as the latter grunted and started pulling at his cheeks and arm. “Riddle’s not here, he’ll never know, so I don’t gotta! Don’t make me!”

Trey simply smirked and gestured to the jar on the fireplace mantle, helpfully available to everyone in the lounge. 

“You know the rules, bud, two thaurmarks for the f-bomb and a .50 cent for the other.”

Ace tossed his head back and groaned, begrudgingly dragging himself over to the jar as he dug around his pocket for change.

“Don’t be rude to your father, Ace.” A few giggles and snorts vibrated amongst the small group studying in the lounge as you wagged a finger at Ace, Grim squinting angrily at the book in your lap. 

Your lips quivered as you hid a laugh, jokingly chastising the ginger. 

“No need to be a brat.”

Trey had to withhold a snort at that comment, rich coming from you. He knew better than anyone that you could be as much of a brat as you were another parental figure.

“Oh ha-ha, very funny, Prefect. What, does that make you, Mom or Dad 2?” Ace stuck his tongue out at you as you grinned and focused back on Grim. 

“Okay Grimmy, so remember, what alchemy recipes need mandrake root?”

Watching from the corner of his eye, Trey watched fondly as you murmured soft words to Grim. It reminded him of his Mom talking to his siblings after a nightmare, or of his Dad after one of them would get hurt in the kitchen. 

Soft, soothing, parental. You’d make an excellent parent one day. 

Trey felt himself get warm at the thought, adjusting himself in his seat and looking back at his musicology notes. He couldn’t sing very well, but he can memorize notes, and that’s what the upcoming exam was focused on. 

That’s what he needed to focus on, not the way you cradled Grim against you like a parent with their child. Focus on his alchemy flashcards, and not the way you cleaned up the mess on the table so you could bring everyone a tray of snacks he’d prepared earlier that day. Focus on the history textbook in front of him, and not the way you cleaned up the lounge as it got later and later.

It wasn’t fair. It was so unfair how well you fell into the role. Cleaning and humming, one of his spare aprons on you as you wiped down the tables of crumbs and stacked a pile of dishes. It was unfair how sweetly you murmured to the few remaining students, and told them to go to bed and rest up. 

They obliged, probably half asleep at this rate, since it was an hour until midnight. Ace and Deuce had retired a while ago, the latter leaning on the former as they haphazardly stumbled to their room. 

Riddle had dropped by after his housewarden meeting, satisfied by the study group, but ultimately stuck to his very strict evening routine. 

Now it was just you two. Even Grim had been tugged along with Ace and Deuce earlier, not unlike a rag doll slung over their shoulders. 

“Trey? Honey, when are you going to sleep? It’s almost midnight.” His eyes fluttered tiredly as he felt your hands slide over his shoulders and a kiss pressed against his temple.

He felt warm again, heat pooling in his belly. You were so unfair. 

“You should go to bed soon, come on, I’ll take care of you.”

He can think of a few ways you could ‘take care’ of him. 

“It’s fine, why don’t you get Grim and head back to Ramshackle? Curfew is in 30 minutes, you know?”

You rolled your eyes, sighing into his ear, making a tingle go down his spine.

“Okay, but please go to bed soon? I left you a little birthday surprise in your bedroom~”

Trey perked up at that, eyeing your mischievous grin as you waved your fingers goodbye, going down the hallway to the dorms to grab Grim.

To be honest, he’d forgotten that his birthday was tomorrow, he’d been so focused on his midterms that it just slipped his mind. Well, he can’t say he’s not excited to see what you got him, especially since you’d been not too subtly probing him for preferences.

He groaned, running his hands over his face and sighing, heavy and exhausted.

“Ugh, just a bit more and I’ll retire for the night.” Trey reassured himself, eyes straining as he looked between the books in front of him. 

The words on the papers blurred after a bit, the sound of the grandclock lulling him further into sleep, his head nodding off until a ping from his phone started him awake.

It was Cater, his Magicam user popping up on his screen. 

cay-cay_diamond: hbd trey!! 🥳🎉🎉🎉grats on being an old man now!

Blinking at the clock, Trey realized that it was now a few minutes past midnight, so it was technically his birthday. He’s lucky that Riddle followed his own sleep schedule so rigorously, or else he’d be getting a scolding for breaking curfew.

luckyclover: Old? I’m only like 4 months older than you cay-cay_diamond: yeah. old. cay-cay_diamond: anyways! enjoy the gift in ur room!!! i helped (name) pick out the wrapping 😘😘😘

Trey hummed, a small smile on his face as he imagined the two of you bickering over wrapping paper and messily wrapping up a box with a bow. You did seem very excited for him to find it earlier, maybe you two picked something out together. 

He was curious on what exactly you got him and why you hadn’t waited to give it to him at his actual birthday party. And why did you need Cater to help you…you’d always shoo him away when he’d tried helping you with gifts for other’s birthdays. 

Stacking his books into his left hand and walking towards the junior dorm rooms, Trey looked at his phone as it pinged again. 

cay-cay_diamond: on that topic thooo…u should rly go 2 ur room and get ur present! the poor thing! they’ve been w8ing very patiently 4 u~ luckyclover: Waiting? (Name)??? cay-cay_diamond: 🤭🤫😉

Trey sighed, shaking his head and tucking his phone away and digging out his room keys. It was times like these, deep into the night, when he was thankful for having his own room. He felt a bit bad now, you probably fell asleep in his bed waiting for him. 

Though, the thought of you clutching one of his pillows, maybe in one of his sweaters to keep warm, made him smile. Then he could come in, gently take your clothes and shoes off to get you more comfortable, and dress down himself to slip in right behind you.

As he finally managed to get to his room, he heard shuffling as he turned the keys. Trey smirked, noticing that only his rose lamp remained on, and all the drapes to his canopy were now closed. 

He could just barely make out the shadow of you moving behind them, hearing you gasp and the bed squeak, making him let out a soft laugh under his breath.

“You’re breaking curfew, you should be asleep you know? You're such a troublemaker sometimes.” Trey teased you as placed his books on his desk, tossing his hat onto its stand and slipping his shoes off to throw them into his wardrobe and grab his slippers. 

He yawned, the late night really starting to sink into his body as he started undressing, his jacket and vest getting hung back up in the closet as he worked on his sash and unbuttoning his pants.  

“Only like a third of the time!” You whined, the bed softly squeaking as you followed his movements behind the canopy. “Besides, I really wanted to give you your present. Don’t you want to unwrap me?”

Trey paused at the purr in your voice, narrowing his gaze as he saw your hand ever so slightly move the curtain at the end of the bed to peek at him. You were still mostly shrouded in darkness, but there was a very soft glow coming from inside the canopy, so he could just barely make out your mischievous smile.

Though, you quickly frowned, eyeing him up and down out of concern. 

“Not if you’re too tired though, you have bags under your eyes, Trey. Do you just wanna go to sleep?”

Giving you a weary smile, Trey finally tossed his sash to the side and reached for the curtains, pushing them to the side to finally take a look at your “mysterious” present. 

“In a bit, let me see what you got me…”

Trey’s breath hitched, he suddenly felt very wide awake as his eyes roamed up and down your body. 

From the corner of his eye, he could see that you set up string lights along the top of the canopy for ambiance, making you look like you were almost glowing. Though it wasn’t that that made him lose his voice. 

You were sitting on the edge of his bed with your legs curled underneath you, dressed in the most darling sage-green, sheer baby doll dress. The dress's puffy sleeves and hem were lacy, matching the lace on the stockings. 

Holy shit you were wearing stockings.

“Ha, I wanted to surprise you, I thought you could use a stress reliever.”

You're doing this on purpose, aren't you?

“I should’ve realized that you’d be tired from studying for midterms, sorry.”

You're trying to rile him up, right?

“But, still, do you like it? I wrapped myself up just for you~”

He's supposed to be the responsible, big brother of Heartslabyul, he tries so hard. So, so hard to stay out of trouble and have a normal day-to-day life. To behave.

“In any case,” You shifted onto your knees, the dress splitting in the middle, the only thing keeping it together being a small bow at the base of your neck, revealing the lack of undergarments, just your bare skin underneath. “Even if you’re too tired and just want to sleep, I just wanted to say…”

Trey leaned in as you wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him in, batting your eyelashes and ghosting your lips over his with a teasing smile. Your hands caressed the back of his neck, a thumb rubbing soothing circles, making him melt. 

“Happy Birthday Trey~”

It’s now that he noticed that you even added a gloss to your lips, and he could smell the warm perfume on your neck as you pressed your lips to his, tongue swiping over his mouth, asking for permission to enter. Obliging, Trey sighed into the kiss and tangled his tongue with yours, his hands slipping underneath the baby doll and squeezing at your waist.

He really should go to sleep. He has to wake up early for the party. He has to dress in his birthday robes. He has to make sure that the others don’t burn down the kitchen or damage his expensive bakeware as they made his cake. 

But the way your skin felt under his gloved hands, skin meeting skin, lace, skin, and lace again.

How could he be expected to sleep now?

Trey used to pride himself on his level headedness and restraint, but that all went out the window into a swan dive into the lake when he saw you in his bed in that damn one-piece.

Humming in delight against your mouth, Trey slid his hands down, as you curled into his body in response, and squeezed at the fat of your thighs before picking you up. 

A yelp left your mouth as he picked you up and tossed you up the bed, pulling off his shirt and tossing it behind him as he crawled on top of you.

His tongue darted out to wet his lips as he saw the way the dress fell open to expose your body, your chest moving up and down as you watched him with a giddy smile. 

“Oh! I guess you’re not that tired—ah!”

You gasped as Trey grabbed your calves, tugging you up to place the back of your knees on his shoulders. He leaned in to press a chaste kiss to your right thigh, smirking against the lace. 

“I was tired. I should be asleep,” Trey murmured against your stocking laced skin, pressing kisses as he went farther and farther down. “Resting—kiss—Up—kiss—but no.”

He gave you a half-hearted glare, which you responded with a smile and lacing your hands through his hair as he pressed another kiss to the bend where your thigh met your sex. 

“You broke curfew, you wanted to keep me up with your little ‘present’, you know I’d get in trouble for hiding you out in my room.”

Trey gave you a bite on your thigh, groaning as he felt your hands tighten in his hair, moving back to press a soothing kiss to the mark he left.

“Are you trying to get me in trouble? Throw me in the doghouse?”  “Cause I’ll make sure you come right with me, after a little taste of my birthday treat.”

The same time he ran his tongue up your sex, Trey could feel you shiver and pull on his hair as he ate you feverishly, like a man starved from food or water for ages. 

“Mmm! Trey!” You threw your head back, bringing one hand up to slam a hand over your mouth to muffle your cries, the walls here weren’t known to be sound-proof. 

He should probably care a bit more, especially when you let out a particularly high-pitched squeal as his tongue began fucking into your hole. 

“Trey! Oooh, Trey~” 

Bringing a finger to join his tongue, Trey smiled against your skin as you squeezed your thighs around his head, using his free hand to push his pants and underwear down to palm at his dick. 

“Trey—aaaah—wait, let me—mmph—Honey—” You let out a shuddering gasp, pulling his head up from your sex. Trey locked eyes with you, leaning into the hand you slid down to cup his cheek and caress his lower lips, wiping the slick and drool from the corner of his mouth.

“Yes? Honey?” Removing his hand from inside you to cover your own hand and kiss your palm, Trey smiled and hummed, “I like that, you know, reminds me of a husband coming home to his spouse.”

Pressing kisses up your body, soft and tingly, up your neck, and back to your lips where they belonged.

“Hmm, I really like the sound of that, (Name) Clover.” You murmured against his lips, smiling as you wrapped a leg around his waist to bring his dick closer to your sex, rubbing against him as you both sighed into each other’s mouths. 

“Is that what you want? You want me to be a cute little spouse? Dress up in a cute apron? Greet you when you come home from work?”

So focused on the softness of your lips and the wetness sliding against his dick, Trey didn’t even notice you twisting your body to turn him onto his back, the back of his head hitting the back of his pillows as you sat on top with a cheeky grin. 

“Hm? How would my husband want me to welcome him home? A hug? A kiss? Mm, what about…me?” Trey watched you with flushed cheeks as you kissed down his body, mimicking his earlier actions as you helped him tug off the rest of his clothes. 

“Oh, how nice it would be for you to come back to a warm, clean home with a spouse…” Looking up at him through your eyelashes and giving him a kitten lick to his tip. “...ready to give soft wet holes for you to fill~”

Giving him a vision into that sweet, sweet future, you swallowed his tip, down his shaft, and started sucking. 

“Haaah—”

Trey lolled his head back into his pillow, letting out a breathless moan as you bobbed your head up and down his length, your hand working the rest that didn’t fit into your mouth. 

“Fuuuuck. That does sound nice—mmh!” Reaching his hand down, you immediately took one of your hands to lace it with his, squeezing it as you hummed around his cock. 

“My lovely spouse—nnnngh—their pretty mouth—unnnh—soft holes—aaaah—all for me to come home to every day, what a dream~”

A particularly harsh suck made Trey arch his back and squeeze your hand harder, a giggle vibrating his dick as you pulled off. 

“Hehe, is this your way of proposing? Kinda dirty to do it with your dick on my mouth.” You giggled, pressing kisses and quick licks along his shaft. 

“That’s okay though, you and I both know that deep down, you’re a bit of a pervert. Right?”

Trey scoffed, tugging you up with a bemused smile. “Yeah? How can you tell? Thought I hid that pretty well.”

A soft laugh escaping you, you held both of his hands, bringing them up to press kisses on his knuckles, making the green-haired man sigh fondly. 

“The way you look at me sometimes, like you’re undressing me. It makes me feel all warm and tingly, especially when I piss you off.”

Both of you let out a breathless moan as your wetness rubbed against his hard dick, grinding against one another as the tip occasionally caught against your hole, making you shiver. 

“Is it bad that sometimes I wanna get you mad so you’ll fuck me real mean? Is it bad that I want you to use me? To fuck your stress out with me?”

A lump forming in his throat, Trey let go of your hands to pull at the string holding your flimsy baby doll together. Eyes half lidded, he pushed the fabric off your shoulders, watching it pool at your elbows as you placed your hands on his chest to steady yourself as your grinding turned into vigorous humping against him, making you both gasp in pleasure. 

“Ooh, Trey, honey, baby, hubby~ Won’t you use me? Be a little mean? Pleeeease? Fuck me, fill me up like I know you want! Pleeeeease Trey? Pretty, pretty please?”

Lips smashed against yours as Trey bolted up, groaning into your mouth as he grabbed your hips in an almost painful grip. 

He picked you up once again, throwing you on all fours, covers tangling against your knees and hands, as he ripped your dress off and tossed it. 

Trey’s left hand placed itself on your hip, while his right pushed down on your back, following up your spine to the base of your neck where he pushed you down to shove your face into the sheets, forcing you into a doggy pose.

“So you do like getting me in trouble, little brat. Fine, I’ll be mean.” 

Trey lined his dick against your throbbing hole, leaning down to press a tender kiss to your ear and moving the hand on your neck to wove with your right, squeezing it reassuringly. 

“Squeeze three times if you need me to stop, otherwise, I’m going to fuck that brain right out of your pretty little head, since you don’t seem to be wanting to use it.”

In one, swift move, Trey slammed his hips to your ass, sinking nearly half his length into your warm, waiting hole. 

“FUCK! YES—MMMPH” Burying your face into the sheets to muffle your cries, Trey did the same into your shoulder, shivering at your tightness around him. 

Setting a rhythm, hips smacking into your ass, Trey worked the rest of his cock into you until he could hear the smack of your ass against his hips, the sound echoing with the creak of the bed.

Your tightness around him was heavenly, as was the sight of you sinking further into the bed and arching your ass to sloppily meet his thrusts. Straightening again, bending your arm back so that your hands could remain intertwined.

His left hand caressed your back and the fat of your behind, before bringing it down in a harsh slap to your ass, making you yelp and squeeze his hand in a vice grip, though you also tightened around his cock. 

Rubbing a soothing circle against the reddening skin, slowed his thrusts, making you whine and push against him. 

“Haaah, that okay? Feel good?” Trey murmured, smiling at the frantic nod and wiggle against him. “Want me to keep going?”

“Mmmph... yessshh... mmmore, mmmore... pleeeashh, honey~” Your sounds were muffled as you bit into the blanket, getting higher and higher as he obliged, not one to deny you after all. 

Every other thrust was met with a slap to one cheek, then the other, the skin turning redder and redder with his handprints marking you. The harder he went, the more and more slack you went, until he was eventually just fucking you like his personal toy. 

Though, you did offer yourself as his present, didn’t you? So it was only fair that he got to use his present as he wished, and right now, he wanted to feel you cumming around him. 

Ceasing his smacks, making you whine, Trey instead melded his body against yours, the weight both overwhelming and comforting, as his left hand instead moved to your sex to rub you to completion. 

Trey watched as you gasped for breath, completely burying your head into the bed to muffled your screams as you came around him, trembling and squeezing him. 

The feeling of your walls pulsating around his shaft was becoming dangerously addicting, and he was very greedy for more of that. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck! I’m so close! You can give me another one, right?”

Slipping his arms around your waist and pulling you up, Trey adjusted you so that you sat on his dick, kissing the side of your neck for reassurance as he let go of your hand to quickly slide his arms under your knees. 

From all his years of tossing bags of flour and sugar, from kneading dough, from all the labor he’s done as a baker, picking you up was like child’s play. 

Folding your knees up to your chest so he could hold you, back flush to his chest, was nothing for him. Everything for you, though, your over sensitive hole squeezing down on him again.  

“FUCK! I caaame! Treytreytreytrey—” You dug a hand into his arm, tossing your head back and lolling your tongue out with a dumb, drooly smile on your lips. 

“A-almost there—nngh—just squeeze if I need to stop—I’m so close~”

Smashing his lips against yours for an open mouth, wet kiss, Trey pounded faster into you, determined to feel your walls pulsate again, this time as he filled your insides up like one of his pastries. 

Then, an awful, perverted thought filled his head, like a devil was whispering in his ear. 

Why doesn’t he fill them up with his kids? Don’t stop until his cum is drooling out of their hole, and go again to make up for the lost seed. He already wants them to be his spouse, why not add a few little ones to that picture?

Trey was losing any bit of restraint that he may have had as he was now determined to fullfill his fantasy. Even if you couldn’t do it, magic made anything here possible, and right now is good practice anyway.

“I’m—aaaahhh—I’m gonna come inside, okay? Fill you up, yeah?”

Digging your nails into his skin, you nodded against his mouth and whined. 

“Yessssss! Fill me up! Inside! Gimme a baby Trey! I wanna make you a daaaaddy~”

Squeezing your legs further against your chest, Trey pounded faster and faster, trembling as he reached close and closer to his peak. 

Warmth flooded his body, tingles, and he swears sparks, flying over his skin as he felt you clamp down on him for a third time. 

Your voice squealed higher and higher, any previous attempt to be quiet for naught as you practically screamed.

Trey shuddered as he finally came, cum flooding your warm insides as you went limp in his arms. 

Panting for air, both of you remained still for a minute, the bed feeling stuffy with the curtains still closed. After another minute, Trey pulled you up and off of him, shaky as his now limp dick left your warm, comfortable embrace.

Doing his best to gently place you on the bed, Trey let out a breathless laugh as you collapsed on the bed like a rag doll, blinking your eyes tiredly at the ceiling of the canopy. 

“Haah, sorry, I went too hard there, huh?”

You shook your head, giving him a tired smile and reaching a hand for him, which he took and brought up to kiss. 

“It was good, really, good. You liked your present?”

Snorting and nodding, Trey carefully scooped you up to move your head onto the pillows and gently roll off your garter stocking, thumbs rubbing soothing circles as he did. 

“Yeah, I did. Come on, let me get you a shirt.”

You whined as he pulled away, exhaustion starting to steep into him as he tied back the curtains to the canopy to let the stuffiness out. Trey picked up the baby doll he’d tossed earlier, placing it into his wardrobe drawer as he dug out a shirt and sweatpants for himself and a shirt for you.

As he closed the drawer, he noticed your backpack hidden underneath it, digging in it to grab you some underwear. You had packed a pair of pajamas, apparently, but…he’d rather see you in his clothes. 

“Hmm, honey? Come to bed…” You whined, hands reaching out for him impatiently as he slipped on his clothes, crawling over to you and helping you slip your underwear and his shirt on. 

“I’m here, I’m here.”

Trey slowly blinked, eyelids heavy as he scoop you up to place you two under the covers, the soft mattress making him practically become one with the bed and you as you nestled into his chest. 

Your legs tangled with his as Trey wrapped his arms around you and tucked your head under his chin. He could feel fatigue and sleep quickly taking over him as your voice vibrated against his chest, soft and sleepy. 

“Happy birthday honey, I—yawn—love…you…”

A different kind of warmth, soft and sweet, filled him as he squeezed you tighter against him, murmuring back. 

“I love you too…”

*Riiiing* *Riiiiiiiing* *Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing*

An irritating, loud noise filled Trey’s ears as he groaned, half-awake as he turned over to smack his hand on his phone, silencing the alarm. 

“Aah…Noisy…hhggh.” Trey groaned, rolling over, careful to not crush you under him to blindly reach for his glasses. 

“Glasses…glasses…ah..”

Plastic and glass finally under his palm, Trey slipped his glasses on his face, ultimately throwing himself back into bed next to you, who’d begun shifting awake.

“Mmm, honey?” 

Grunting in response, Trey threw an arm over his eyes, irritated at the sun seeping through the window into his eyes. 

“Early…”

You chuckled, a yawn escaping you as you decided to move closer and slip a hand under his shirt to rub at his chest, pressing kisses into his neck as well. 

“You’re so grumpy in the morning. Come on, you've got a big day ahead.”

“…Ugh, I do?”

Snorting at his response, Trey grunted as he felt you move, peaking under his arm to see you resting on your elbow. You had puffy, dark circles under your eyes from the little sleep you managed to get. 

“Birthdays are a pretty big deal, right?” Smiling at him, Trey squinted an eye and groaned, squeezing his eyes shut in protest.

“Ugggh, yeah…”

Hearing you hum, Trey groaned in surprise as he felt you straddle his waist and caress his neck and cheeks, making him remove his arm to blink up at you. 

Your hair was a tangled mess, sticking up in all sorts of places. The bags under your eyes more noticeable under the night. His shirt dwarfed you. You were a hot mess, all things considered. 

He probably wouldn’t say it out loud, with how cute you were last night, but he thinks you look most beautiful like this. Better than any frilly, skimpy, or tight outfit.

“Come on, Birthday Boy, want me to give you a little pick me up?”

Kissing him with a smile, Trey moaned into the lazy, sloppy morning kiss, tilting his head back as you pressed kissed down his neck, deciding to work on leaving a love bite at the nape of his neck.

Trey’s phone chimed, making him sigh as he reached for it, letting you continue your love bites and kisses, 

Squinting at the few messages, it seemed like a few of his friends and classmates were already sending him birthday wishes. Though, a message from Cater made him blot up, a sudden shock of alertness running down his spine. 

“Ah! Trey, what is it?”

cay-cay_diamond: morning!! happy bday 2 the bday boi again! thought i let u no tht u owe me a favor, had 2 cast a silencing spell on ur roum last nite. totes ruined my beauty sleep! cay-cay_diamond: also i know u got ur lil cutie 2 distract ya, but liek dont b l8 2 ur bday breakfast, grimmy might eat it!

“Shit, we were too loud, Cater had to cast a silencing spell on the room.”

You made an ‘oh’ shape with your mouth, giving Trey an apologetic smile. 

“Sorry, but at least you enjoyed it, right?”

Trey smiled, more awake now, and nodded, sharing a sweet kiss with you. 

“Definitely. You might have to consider making your go-to gift for now on, it’s gotta be my favorite one I’ve ever gotten.”

He solidified that statement with one more, firm, assuring kiss with you, before having to leave your sweet dream into the real world. 

At least he could have one part of that dream with him at his side from now on: you. 

comments and reblogs appreciated 🩷

[crescenthistory]

did i hear you say you were writing another animagus!reader x regulus where they cuddle at hogwarts in each their cat forms? 🥺🥺

you know what they say, don't believe everything you hear... except for that, that's actually true

Words: 2.4k

Warnings: not proofread, fem!reader, copious amounts of fluff, established relationship, bsf!remus, background wolfstar, reader and reg are kinda goody-two-shoes, platonic physical affection

Note: read more about cat!animagus!reader's shenanigans with reg, wolfstar and james here & here

Sweet Like Honey; Karma is a Cat

What a conundrum.

Remus should take this as an opportunity to be a good friend. You have spent almost two decades showing him exactly how to do that, playing the perfect part of the sister-he-never-had, loving and supporting him through life. For never turning your back on him, Remus is sure he owes you far more than what he can ever repay you, so he should try every single day. He should be a good friend.

But it was just too funny not to.

"At what point is it our duty to wake them up?" Sirius' voice whispered in his ear, shaking with mirth.

"I'm wondering the exact same thing." Remus dragged his words out to avoid making a decision. "How long do you think we can get away with?"

"I mean, they are already 15 minutes late to their Charms lesson, so we're dead men walking for not having said anything so far."

Remus is just able to tear his eyes away from you to glance sideways at Sirius, a too-fond smile already playing over his lips as he sees the exact mischievous look on his boyfriend's face that he expected. The look he fell in love with, not that Remus would be sappy enough to think about that right now. "So what you're saying is..."

"Leave it for a while longer?" Sirius grinned.

"Leave it for a while longer." Remus confirmed, whispering through a laugh, shifting his body further into Sirius' side as he lets his eyes fall back on you.

Well. On what he and Sirius knew to be you and Regulus, but what all other students in the library thought was just two cats sleeping in an armchair.

There was an elongated square of sunlight cast onto the middle of the seat by one of the beautifully decorated windows of the ancient castle, every cat's dream spot. The green velvet covering the seat of the mahogany chair was already riddled with fur from how long the two of you had been curled up around each other in it, white, grey and black hairs mixing together. Your forms might as well be mixing together too, fluid in a way that defied physics yet looked impossibly comfortable. Remus supposed you had to milk as much pleasure out of being an animagus as possible to make that whole mandrake leaf ordeal worth it. Though you could not answer even if he asked you right now, he was sure you at this very moment thought it was.

Remus' smile widened as he saw your chest rise dramatically as you breathed a sleepy huff, turning your head over slightly and burrowing it further into Regulus' plush neck. Your little cat bodies laid facing each other, arms around each other in a way he thought looked a little too much like a human hug.

It would be the absolute picture of serenity, two young things with no care in the world but each other – had it not been for the large clock ironically hanging right behind you, reminding you that you were not supposed to be here right now.

The four of you – five before James ran off the second he spotted red hair a few shelves back – had spent your two hours of shared free periods to read up together, for once actually doing a considerable amount of studying during it. Sirius was rubbing it in your faces, yours by consequence and Regulus' by design, that you still had one lesson left for the day when you abruptly stood up and demanded that you need a study break. When you then promptly dragged Regulus off into a corner, Sirius got the karma of a lifetime as he grew very concerned about what kind of break you would be engaging in. That was until the two cats lazily strolled back in and made themselves comfortable in the chair they now claimed as theirs.

Knowing you, Remus knew you hadn't intended on falling asleep, but maybe the fact that you did meant you really needed it. Yes, surely, you must have been exhausted and your body demanded a rest, so frankly he is quite an amazing friend for ensuring you listen to your health and your needs.

"Cats shouldn't be allowed to be that cute," Sirius all but grumbled as he looked at the two of them. "I should hate them on principle, but look at them Moony!"

"Quite literally no one is demanding that you hate cats on behalf of Padfoot, Siri."

"Padfoot is!" Sirius gave him a you can't argue with that logic look, but Remus knew he could.

"Ah, yes, my boyfriend the dog," he mused, cocking an eyebrow at Sirius who promptly reached out with his finger and pulled it back down.

"I could so give you a comeback to that, but I respect you too much not to say it in public," Sirius muttered and Remus couldn't fight his laughter.

Something moving in his periphery brought his attention back on you, seeing you shift even more into Regulus which caused him to begin stirring as well. Go back to sleep, go back to sleep, Remus whispered to you in his mind.

As always, you didn't listen to him, and ever so slowly Remus saw you peel one yellow eye open, blinking blearily at the room before turning your head back towards Regulus. The greyest of your four paws came up to gently pet at the black cat's neck, almost as if you were smoothing over the fur you had ruffled in your sleep. It made Remus' heart ache with love for you both, even as his stomach was slowly dropping.

A soft prrt! escaped Regulus before he instantly began purring and tightening his hold on you with his little cat paws, nosing his head against yours. A kind of softness Regulus rarely let himself fall into in public, though this was arguably a grey area.

It almost looked like you were about to be driven back into sleep by the vibrations moving through you from Regulus' chest. Remus noticed Sirius paying attention raptly as well, which was unfortunate.

Because when you shot up out of your seat with a small squeak, jumping as if startled as you looked towards the clock – now a good 30 minutes into your 45 minutes lesson – Sirius let out a loud bark of laughter. It earned him more than a few hushes from those around, but most importantly, it earned him your head snapping around to look at him with eyes that could rival a basilisk’s.

Considering Remus was already on a streak of making disloyal choices towards his loved ones, he didn't fight his instinct to stand up from his seat and back up when you ran and jumped onto the table right in front of Sirius' face with a hiss. You slapped at him with a clawless paw to which Sirius whispered something along the lines of "hey, knock it off, be cool" while trying to hold you at arm's length. You scowled at him as aggressively as any cat could, raising your back slightly before you arguably tut-ed at him and jumped back down.

Remus fought for his life to not laugh.

You turned around and ran over to Regulus who was still lazily stretching and gaining his bearings, not an ounce of care shown towards the near-assault of his brother. Nudging him with your head towards the end of the chair, he got the point and jumped down, already falling into his usual graceful mannerisms.

Together you scurried off back into your corner.

When you came back a mere minute later Remus swore there was no difference in your facial expression. Remus carefully walked around the table – where Sirius was still sitting with a petulant pout – hands up in surrender.

You crossed your arms, leaning your weight onto your right hip as you glared at your oldest friend, clearly expecting him to speak first. Behind you Regulus was strolling over, looking like he was trying really hard to be miffed but falling just short.

“How dare you,” you said – and it was a statement, not a question.

“In my defence,” Remus started, hands still up but so were the corners of his lips. “You two looked adorable.”

“That will surely hold up real well with the professor,” you scoffed.

“We didn’t make you fall asleep, princess,” Sirius grumbled to which you turned to him with a bitch please look Remus is fairly certain you picked up from Sirius.

“Apologies for expecting my friends to have my back. How stupid of me.”

“Very stupid indeed,” Sirius murmured as he took a sip of his coffee, grimacing when he found it to be cold. He nearly spilled some when Regulus gave him a light slap up the back of the head.

Remus figured it was time to pull out the big guns.

He manoeuvred his held up hands to be stretched out towards you instead with a rueful smile as he inched closer and closer. You had a moody expression still, eyeing him with suspicion, but you didn’t move out of the way. He dared make a small cooing sound as he brought you into a hug, coddling you like one would a child after they hurt themselves to keep them from crying.

“‘M super super sorry, lovie,” Remus half-muttered half-laughed into your hair as he rocked you a little bit. Your arms were still crossed against his chest, but you were leaning into him. 

“Don’t believe you, Loopy.” 

Regulus snorted at that and Remus looked up at him over his shoulder and the boys shared a look of humour and shared love for you that warmed his stomach. Though when Sirius nipped at Regulus’ sleeve to get his attention, the faux-miffed expression was plastered right back on the younger boy’s face.

Siblings, Remus thought and chuckled a bit into your hair.

“You laughing at me?” you questioned incredulously. 

“No, I’m laughing at our boys.” His response was quick to rid himself of any further accusations.

You instantly nodded against his shoulder. “Understandable.”

“Hey! Don’t bring me into this, amour.” Regulus' chiding tone was met with you uncrossing your arms at last, reaching a hand out behind you blindly, which he immediately took and squeezed with his own.

You let your other arm curl around Remus’ back. Forgiveness at last.

He pulled back to look down at you with a goofy grin, and was pleased to see you could no longer contain yours either. “You were really cute. Didn’t want to disturb you.”

You gave him a look. “Right, no laughing at our expense whatsoever.”

“Never.”

You gave him a light shove while you snorted, pushing him away from you. “This is what I get for my sacrifice for you?” you said as you shook your head at him not much unlike McGonagall would during detention.

“I would argue you got a pretty sweet deal with that sacrifice, doll, seeing as you can curl up with your equally sacrificial boyfriend and sleep in the library whenever.” Sirius nodded solemnly, while jutting his chin towards Regulus. “This one would never let that happen in any other form.”

“Oh, I’m sure I could’ve convinced him,” you replied, looking at Regulus with an almost salacious smile. As if to prove your point – or just to prove Sirius wrong – he came up to stand closer behind you, arms going around your waist. You leaned your weight back against him with a happy sigh.

“Disgusting,” was all Sirius offered.

You raised an eyebrow at him before turning your head sideways to give Regulus a short, sweet kiss.

“Disgusting,” he groaned once more, pressing the backs of his palms into his eyes.

“Karma,” you and Remus sing-songed at him at the exact same time in the exact same tone. 

Your eyes met in surprise before you both burst out laughing, any pretend fight seeping out of you as you both beamed at each other.

Siblings, Remus found himself thinking once more.

“Well, now that we don’t have a lesson to get to anymore, I suggest we get out of here,” Regulus sighed, squeezing your hips as if to underline his point.

“Where we heading?” Sirius asked as he swung his legs out to get up.

“I don’t know where you’re going,” you started. “But Remus will go hunt down a certain Head Boy and get him to make up some excuse to Professor Flitwick for why Regulus and I did not attend class so that our absence is removed from the records.” You put on your sweetest smile as you turned towards Remus at the last part.

“Regulus, what have you done with her?!” Sirius stage-whispered his accusation at Regulus who only responded with a certain impolite gesture.

“And why would James do that?” Remus drawls, certain that his entertainment was written all over his face.

“Oh, I’m sure he owes you for something, you figure it out.” You spoke as you tried to put your bag over your shoulder to leave, but Remus and Regulus both reached for it at the same time. They gave each other a look, trying to decide who will take the literal burden, before they both turned to Sirius and dropped the bag in his lap. He rolled his eyes at the both of them, but pulled the strap over his free shoulder nonetheless. 

“You are quite the minx, aren’t you?” Remus asked, going for chiding and landing somewhere along the lines of compliance.

“Learned from the best, Rem!” you cheered brightly, pressing quick smacking kisses on both his and Sirius’ cheek.

Before they could muster up a response or a reaction, you had already hauled Regulus down the halls of the library towards the exit with half-heartedly hushed giggles. The raven-haired boy looked over his shoulder right before you turned the corner with a barely-contained smile, inhibitions straw thin in your presence.

Remus understood him well.

He turned to Sirius with a pleased smile to find him already admiring his reactions from where he stood beside him.

“I get why they’re cats,” Remus mused as he interlaced their fingers, following the general direction you ran off to, ready to hunt down James and possibly claw up some furniture. 

“Because they’re adorable but also massive menaces?”

Remus breathed out contently. “Yeah.”

[solxamber]

How Not to Court Your Crush: A Disaster in Six Acts - Malleus Draconia x reader

You're trying to court Malleus so why is he acting so weird? Malleus is trying to court you, so why are you acting so weird.

aka you try fae courtship and malleus tries human courtship, you both fail spectacularly.

Scene 1: The Offering of... Chaos?

You were determined. Absolutely, one hundred percent determined to win over Malleus Draconia’s heart the fae way. You’d done your research—well, half-researched. You might’ve skimmed some books. Okay, maybe you watched some video where a guy talked about it for 10 minutes. But still! You were ready to tackle fae courting, head-on.

Which is why you were standing in the middle of the campus courtyard holding a potted mandrake. Because, according to some source (you couldn’t quite remember which), gifting rare plants was a surefire way to court a fae prince.

Unfortunately, no one told you that the mandrake in question would scream like a banshee as soon as you yanked it out of the dirt.

"Behold!" You shouted, thrusting the potted terror toward Malleus, who had appeared in his usual fashion—stealthy and majestic, like a dragon perching on a mountain. "A rare gift for the noble Prince of Briar Valley!"

The mandrake, in all its wailing glory, let out a soul-piercing shriek. Nearby students flung themselves behind trees and bushes. Sebek fainted. Silver, as usual, napped through the chaos.

Malleus blinked at you. Once. Twice. His face was a mixture of confusion and slight amusement. "Are you... trying to summon something?"

You frowned. "Summon? No! This is for you!" You held the screaming mandrake higher, like an offering to some ancient god. "As a... token of my appreciation! You like plants, right?"

The mandrake let out a final, particularly blood-curdling scream before going silent, wilting slightly in the pot. Malleus blinked once. Twice. “I... do like plants, yes. But usually... not ones that wish to harm me.”

You grinned, proud of your extremely thoughtful choice. “Well, this one just has personality!”

Malleus cautiously took the pot from you, staring down at the now exhausted mandrake. “Thank you,” he said, sounding unsure if you were joking or being sincere. “I’ll... treasure it.”

Somewhere in the distance, Ace and Deuce exchanged pitying looks. “Man,” Ace muttered, “he doesn’t deserve this.”

Scene 2: The Worst Poem Ever Written

Malleus had been doing his own research—much more thorough than yours, of course. He’d read books. Lots of them. Mostly ancient tomes from his castle library that were centuries old. After all, human courting customs couldn’t have changed that much, right?

His plan was foolproof: Humans enjoyed poetry. Therefore, he would craft you the most beautiful, heart-stopping poem ever written, and your affection for him would blossom like the midnight roses of Briar Valley.

He found you sitting under a tree near the school, probably recovering from your last spectacular fae courting attempt (the less said about the mandrake incident, the better). Malleus approached with all the grace of a dark prince, his black cloak billowing in the wind, carrying a scroll in his hand.

"Dearest," he began, as you looked up from your phone. "I have composed a poem for you. An ode to your beauty and grace."

Your eyebrows shot up. "Really?"

"Yes. Please, allow me." He unfurled the scroll dramatically.

You sat back, intrigued. This was either going to be a disaster or absolute gold. Either way, you were ready.

Malleus cleared his throat, then began to read with all the gravitas of a Shakespearean actor:

"Your hair, like the moss that grows on the oldest tombstones,

Your eyes, like the deepest, darkest, creepiest of wells,

Your voice, as soothing as the distant scream of a lost soul..."

You snorted. "What?"

"Your beauty is like the moon, that I can never reach, because it is in the sky... far away... and also made of rock." He paused, glancing at you hopefully. “Do you like it so far?”

You bit your lip, desperately trying not to laugh. "Um... It's... something. Keep going."

Malleus beamed. "There’s more!"

"Your hands, soft like the belly of a small woodland creature..." He continued, and you finally lost it, howling with laughter. “Is it not... moving?”

You waved your hands, barely able to breathe through your giggles. "Malleus! Are you... Are you serious?!"

“I thought humans liked dark poetry,” he said, looking genuinely concerned.

“Well, some do, but—” You stopped yourself, trying not to laugh. “No, wait, keep going. I want to hear more.”

Malleus, relieved, continued. “Your beauty is like the full moon—cold, distant, and surrounded by darkness.”

Somewhere behind a nearby tree, Lilia was biting his lip to stop from laughing, while Ace and Deuce shared looks of absolute pity for their friend and Malleus.

Ace shook his head. “Poor guy. He’s trying so hard.”

Scene 3: The... Ambush?

Since the plant-gifting thing didn’t go quite as planned, you decided that maybe a more public display of affection would be the ticket. According to something you half-remembered (and maybe misunderstood), fae really appreciated grand gestures of intent. So, naturally, you chose the school cafeteria at lunchtime as your stage.

As you climbed on top of a table, all eyes turned toward you. Malleus sat at a corner table, watching you with his usual calm, collected demeanor, but you could see the confusion in his eyes.

"Prince Malleus!" you shouted dramatically, lifting your arms in the air. “I declare before all of these witnesses that I shall offer this to you!”

The cafeteria fell into dead silence. Well, except for Lilia, who was quietly choking on his laughter in the background.

Malleus blinked, his expression unreadable. “You... what?”

"Yes! I offer you—" you pulled out the cabbage you’d swiped from the kitchen earlier—"this symbol of my devotion!"

Malleus stared at the cabbage in your hands. "Is that... a vegetable?"

“Yes! It’s a sign of fertility or... something.” You weren’t entirely sure, but it sounded right. “I picked it myself!”

Malleus blinked again, clearly trying to process this information. “I... appreciate the gesture."

Lilia butts in. "Beastie, I’m afraid cabbages aren’t typically used in fae courting rituals.”

You pouted, hopping off the table. “What? But I read that—"

“Perhaps... next time, try flowers?”

Behind you, Ace facepalmed. “Oh, man. They're hopeless.”

Scene 4: The Gift of... Dirt?

Malleus was now absolutely convinced that something was seriously wrong with you. You seemed... more chaotic than usual, and while he enjoyed your enthusiasm, he had no idea why you were suddenly thrusting vegetables at him.

In his effort to reciprocate (and maybe figure out what was going on), he decided to give you a gift of his own. A very special one. From his homeland.

After all, humans liked sentimental gifts, right?

That’s why, one morning, he approached you with a small velvet pouch in his hand, his face filled with sincerity. “Child of Man, I have something for you.”

“Oh?” You tilted your head, curious. “What’s that?”

He handed you the pouch, and you opened it, only to find... dirt. Black, slightly glittery dirt.

You stared at it. Then at him. Then back at the dirt. “Is this... dirt?”

“Yes,” Malleus said proudly. “From Briar Valley. It’s a very special soil, infused with the magic of my homeland.”

You blinked. “You got me dirt.”

“Very magical dirt,” he corrected, as if that made it better.

You bit back a laugh, trying to keep a straight face. “Um... thanks?”

Ace, watching from a distance, nudged Deuce. “Man, They're gonna end up with a garden at this rate.”

Scene 5: The Unnecessary Duel

Clearly, you had been doing something wrong, because your attempts at fae courtship had been met with nothing but polite confusion. But you were nothing if not determined. The next step in your (completely misguided) strategy? Prove your strength in battle. Duh.

You marched up to Malleus one afternoon, sword in hand, and pointed it at his chest. "Malleus Draconia! I challenge you to a duel!"

Malleus blinked at you, clearly baffled. “A duel? With... me?”

“Yes!” you declared, brandishing the sword with a flourish. “I shall prove myself worthy of your admiration through combat!”

Malleus tilted his head. “You... wish to fight me?”

You nodded enthusiastically. “Yes! To the death! Or until someone taps out. Whatever works.”

Malleus looked utterly bewildered but amused. “I... see. But are you sure this is necessary?”

"Absolutely. I need to show you my strength." You tried to strike a dramatic pose, but the sword was way heavier than it looked.

Lilia, perched nearby, was barely containing his laughter. “Oh, this is too good.”

Malleus raised his hand. “Perhaps another time. I would not want to harm you.”

You frowned. “Harm me? Pfft. I’m tougher than I look, dragon boy.”

Scene 6: The Romantic Walk—Through a Thunderstorm

Malleus had one last idea. Humans, he’d read, liked romantic walks. That was simple, right? No vegetables. No poetry. Just a quiet stroll. What could possibly go wrong?

Unfortunately, he decided to take you for a walk through the forest on a day when the sky decided to unleash the full wrath of a thunderstorm. And because he was a fae, storms didn’t bother him.

You, on the other hand, were not a fan of being drenched to the bone.

The rain came down in sheets, lightning crackling overhead as you both trudged through the mud. You tried to keep your umbrella steady, but the wind whipped it inside out almost immediately.

“Malleus,” you called over the storm, shouting to be heard. “Why are we walking in this? Are you trying to drown me?”

Malleus, entirely unfazed by the downpour, turned to you, his face serious. “I thought a walk through nature would be a calming experience for you.”

You stared at him, your hair sticking to your face, clothes soaked through, and boots filled with mud. “Calming?! I’m about to be struck by lightning!”

He blinked, as if only now realizing the storm might be an issue for you. “Ah, I see. Humans are... more susceptible to storms. My apologies.”

“Ya think?” You huffed, clutching your now-ruined umbrella. “A ‘romantic stroll’ usually involves good weather.”

Malleus frowned, looking genuinely troubled. “I thought the power of the storm would inspire awe.”

“Yeah, it’s inspiring me to run back inside.” You sighed, shivering. “This is... sweet, I guess. But, uh, maybe next time we check the weather before planning any ‘romantic’ activities?”

As you struggled to wipe rain from your face, you caught a glimpse of Lilia again—he was standing under a tree, dry as could be, watching the scene unfold with glee. His mischievous grin practically radiated from the shadows.

“You’re having fun with this, aren’t you?” you shouted toward him, but Lilia just waved, clearly loving the chaos.

Malleus, still deep in thought about his failed attempt at human courtship, suddenly looked serious. “Perhaps a different form of human bonding is needed next time.”

Behind you, Ace and Deuce were trailing a safe distance away, both dripping wet but trying to keep from laughing too loudly.

“Man,” Ace muttered, shaking his head. “They're gonna give the poor guy a heart attack one day.”

Deuce nodded solemnly. “Or he’ll get us all killed.”

After days of mutual confusion and failed courtship rituals, you found yourself, once again, sitting with Malleus in one of the school’s many quiet courtyards.

“Y’know,” you began, squinting at him. “I feel like you’ve been acting weird lately.”

Malleus gave you a similar look. “I’ve been thinking the same about you.”

You blinked. “Wait, me? What do you mean?”

“Well,” Malleus said, his brow furrowed, “you’ve been offering me... odd gifts. Vegetables. Challenging me to duels. Declaring intentions in public spaces. It’s... unusual.”

You froze. “That’s... fae courtship. I’ve been trying to... y’know...”

Malleus’ eyes widened. “You’ve been attempting to court me?”

Your face flushed. “Well, yeah! I thought you were acting strange, so I figured you were waiting for someone to, I don’t know, woo you.”

Malleus’ confusion quickly shifted to amusement. “I’ve been trying to court you this whole time.”

Your jaw dropped. “You’re what?!”

“I believed you were in distress, so I attempted human courting rituals. Clearly, they didn’t go as planned.”

You both stared at each other for a long moment, the realization of mutual failure sinking in. Then, unexpectedly, you burst out laughing, and Malleus, after a moment, chuckled too.

“Well,” you managed between laughs, “we really suck at this.”

“Indeed,” Malleus agreed, his eyes warm with amusement. “Perhaps next time, we should... communicate better.”

“Yeah,” you said, wiping a tear from your eye. “That might help.”

From a safe distance, Lilia watched, his face beaming with pride. “Ah, young love,” he sighed dramatically. “How wonderfully chaotic.”

Ace shook his head, utterly done with the entire situation. “They’re hopeless.”

Deuce nodded in agreement. “At least it’s finally over... right?”

They're so stupid (affectionate)

Masterlist

[juleswritesstuff]

Starving

Basically, just Theo being the munch that he is.

theodore nott x fem!reader

warnings: smut

Enjoy💗

You had always hated Herbology with a deep passion.

Not the plants per se, those were rather fascinating to observe, but did they really need to have such a vast variety of species ? Was it actually necessary ?

Apparently it was, or Mrs Sprout wouldn't have given you a whole 600 words essay to write on every type of mandrake known to man.

Those screaming little things got on your nerves, and you could barely understand what the professor was talking about while tending to them. Hence, you were finding it extremely difficult to complete that paper.

The door of your dorm room suddenly opened and you had to restrain a curse from slipping through gritted teeth.

You had really hoped to not get interrupted.

Apparently your prayers weren't heard.

“You busy, dolcezza ?” (sweetie)

A more than familiar voice reached your ears. You lifted your eyes from your paper and they landed on none other than Theodore Nott, who was standing right in front of your door, now closed again, with a faint smirk plastered on his face. 

You rolled your eyes. You knew that little grin all too well.

“Kind of, yeah” you replied, your attention going back to the paper in front of you as you started scribbling again with your quill “Aren't you ? Have you already finished your essay ?” you asked, cocking an eyebrow.

“Just turned it in, so I have some time to kill” he said with that cocky attitude of his.

Infuriating and charming at the same time, truly unfair.

“Good for you, then. I don't, so if you could leave me to it, it would be much appreciated” you said as a forced smile curved your lips.

“Oh, come on. You don't even have a little time ? Per me ?” he asked, tilting his head slightly to the side with the most innocent expression he could master. (For me ?)

Which didn't work because his eyes screamed trouble.

Theo looked like an angel with his brown hair curled in soft locks and eyes as blue as the ocean, although dead and emotionless looking.

Actually, he was the devil in disguise. Especially when he acted all coy like this.

“No Theo, I really don't have time for your little antics today” you said huffing.

‘His little antics’ being eating you out till tears rolled down your cheeks and your mascara was smudged and unsalvageable. 

You and Theo were ‘friends’. You got along just fine, you talked, and you bickered like there was no tomorrow. It was part of your friendship, the teasing, the little harmless jokes. It was routine for the two of you.

What was also routine was the flirting. 

Shameless and obvious flirting.

You never thought it would lead anywhere. You were so used to the little Italian endearments he gave you and the ever present smirk on his lips that you didn't really think anything of it.

Until one night, after one of the biggest parties that Slytherin had ever thrown, you ended up in his bed, with him between your legs eating you out like his life depended on it.

You didn't even know how you found yourself in that situation, you just knew that you hadn't minded one bit.

You ended up with shaky legs and a dizzy brain just by his tongue alone.

Saying that you didn't mind it would've been an understatement.

The day after was awkward as hell, but you both were too direct and honest to not deal with the weird atmosphere immediately.

So you decided to add some…privileges to your relationship. 

You discovered Theo had quite an oral fixation. 

He needed to keep his mouth occupied with something.

Cigarettes were a great way to keep his mouth busy, but they were extremely damaging for his health.

You didn't mean to make him stop smoking, you knew it would've been basically impossible, and, if you had to be completely honest with yourself, he looked so damn hot with those death traps between his lips, but you wanted to at least try to reduce the amount of nicotine that went into his body.

And what better way than to bribe him with the second thing he loved the most in the world ?

Eating you out seemed to be his favorite hobby.

Anytime he felt the need to light one cigarette more than necessary he came to you, with that sinful smirk on his lips and the hottest ‘fuck me’ eyes he could master.

And who were you to say no ? 

You had proposed the deal in the first place.

Plus, he was amazing at it too. The way his tongue worked on your cunt definitely felt like ascending to heaven.

But now you really didn't have the time.

“I'm not here because I feel like smoking, Y/n” he said walking up to you and stopping in front of the desk, leaning forward a little as he supported his weight with his hands on the table. 

You made the mistake of lifting your eyes from the parchment and locking them with his. His gaze was magnetic. Once those pools of stormy sea caught you, you couldn't escape.

“Then why are you here ?” you asked, raising your eyebrows.

“Cause I'm starving, bambolina” he uttered with the calmest and most unaffected tone in his voice. (babydoll)

You narrowed your eyes.

“Then you should be in the kitchen to solve that little problem, don't you think ?” you asked rhetorically, eyes going back to focus on the parchment in front of you.

You heard him scoff, and suddenly he was leaning so much closer.

Your head was still hung low, trying to write that damn essay, but his presence was distracting as hell and you couldn't help but shiver when he leaned to whisper in your ear.

“You're right, that would be the perfect solution if I was hungry for food” he stopped and you could feel the teasing smile plastered on his face.

“But all I'm craving is you and that pretty little cunt of yours, so I don't think the kitchen elves could really help me with that”

You wished you could say his words didn't affect you, you really wished.

But the sudden warmth on your cheeks and the unconscious clench of your legs told another story.

You really didn't have time for this, but your body was craving him and his touch like crazy, and you weren't sure you would've been able to focus if you didn't feel his tongue working its wonders on you.

So you sighed and pushed the chair you were sitting on a bit farther away from the desk, enough to take your knickers off and throw them somewhere behind you, then you sat back, your skirt still covering you up until your mid thighs.

His eyes darkened with lust.

“Make it quick, I have an essay to finish” you said, faking indifference.

On the inside you were burning alive.

“Quick ? It's like you don't know me at all, dolcezza” he said with a scoff as he sank to his knees, crawling until he was right in front of you.

His gaze locked in yours as his hands made contact with the bare skin of your legs, caressing them gently, tenderly.

“I'll take my sweet time with you. Ora fai la brava and open those gorgeous legs for me” you hated how fast you complied, but with the way he was looking at you you really couldn’t help yourself. (Now be good) 

He lifted your skirt and he leaned forward.

As soon as his tongue made contact with your folds you melted.

You choked out a whimper, and you could feel him smirk right against your groin.

"Wipe that grin off your face, Nott, I'm only -ah fuck, I'm only doing it because you begged me” you said as he kept lapping at your core with his tongue, wrapping his lips around your clit to give it a gentle suck.

The moan that rippled out of you was almost pornographic.

“Piccola bugiarda, you know that's not true. You're doing it because you want it too” he moved his mouth from your cunt to your thighs, giving feather light kisses on the sensitive skin. (Little liar)

“You're so wet, you didn't think I would notice ?” he asked with that fucking cocky attitude that made you go crazy.

“Shut up and put that mouth to a better use” you said, but the bite in your voice was definitely toned down by the urgency and neediness of having his mouth back where you needed him the most.

His head tilted to the side as he leaned back just the tiniest bit.

“What's with the attitude, uh ?”

“No, no, no, -shit Theo. Come back here” you said, almost whining.

He was too far, and you needed him.

You needed him closer, way fucking closer.

“E come si dice ?” he teased, his eyes were dark and fogged up by lust and hunger. (And what do you say ?)

“Fuck, why do you always want me to beg ?” you asked, defeated. He leaned forward again, his breath hovering right above the tender skin as you clenched around nothing, feeling the loss of his tongue.

“Because it's fun, I love it when you beg me with that sweet mouth of yours. Plus I like seeing you flustered” he said as he started to kiss every inch and nook of your most sensitive area, avoiding where you really wanted him to.

You wanted to curse so bad, but you knew that was not what he wanted, what he needed.

“Theo -fuck. Please Theo, just touch me. Please” you surrendered, your voice whiny and broken, until a melody of moans and whimpers started to ripple out of your lips as soon as his mouth met your folds again.

And this time he didn’t stop.

He lapped at your juices like a starved man enjoying his meal for the first time in days.

He licked, and sucked, and kissed every centimeter, every inch of tender skin like he was born to do that.

Your hands buried in his soft brown locks and you tugged at them unconsciously after a particularly good roll of his tongue made you see stars.

“Cazzo, se continui così verrò nei pantaloni porca puttana” he said, hissing. His mouth kept working wonders on your cunt, his groans creating delicious vibrations on your clit. (Fuck, if you keep this up I'll come in my pants, holy shit)

“Ancora” he said between ravenous licks and delicate, teasing sucks, guttural moans leaving his lips. (Again)

“What ?” you asked, lost in pleasure. Your little knowledge of the Italian language became nonexistent when he was busy making you cry on his tongue.

“Again, baby. You know i fucking love it” he says, mouthing the words right against your core.

And so you obeyed, tugging at his hair again, a little rougher, a little harder.

A low groan left his lips.

You were close, you were so fucking close.

“Shit, Theo, baby” you moaned out loud, the term of endearment completely slipping out.

Theo seemed to notice, because he started to go faster, tongue flicking desperately at your folds.

Your breath got caught in your lungs, your ears rang and your sight turned black as you got hit by pleasure.

The hand on his hair kept Theo close as you rode your orgasm on his tongue.

He lapped at your juices carefully, to not overstimulate you, leaving sweet butterfly kisses on your thighs, worshiping the skin with his lips.

Once your breathing started to go back to normal and your sight was not blurry from the pleasure anymore you looked at him.

He was still kneeling in front of you, a teasing smile tugging at his lips as his eyes focused on your face.

“You look quite disheveled, principessa” he said with a chuckle, pride oozing from his features for reducing you in that state. All fucked out and breathless. (princess)

“Oh, yeah ? And whose fault is that ?” you asked in mocking shock, but you couldn't help a chuckle from escaping your lips.

“And you're one to talk” you added as you took in his appearance. His eyes were still quite foggy and unfocused, his hair a mess from all the tugging, and his lips.

Oh, his lips. Red and shiny with your essence and the tiniest bit swollen.

He looked too fucking good to be true.

You knew you folded too easily when Theo was involved, but you couldn’t help it.

“I told you I was starving, you underestimated my eagerness to fucking devour you” he said with a shrug, wetting his lips to savor your taste once again, like his words didn’t make you feel like you were catching fire.

That mouth of his was a menace, physically and metaphorically.

“I’m never gonna be able to finish this stupid essay now” you said almost desperately.

He laughed at your pathetic whining, but it was a warm laugh, not one made to mock you but one that was closer to endearment.

“Was it so good that it melted your brain off ?” he asked with that cocky grin of his.

You looked at him with a deadpan expression.

“Your overly confident attitude never fails to amaze me, Theodore Nott '' you said with a chuckle. You straightened your posture on the chair, smoothing out all the wrinkles that he had left from fisting your skirt and holding on for dear life to keep your hips still.

“Now I don’t want to kick you out, but I really need to finish this”

“No need for that, tesoro, I’ll leave you to it. Wouldn’t want to distract you too much” he said, getting back up on his feet and tucking a rebellious strand of your hair behind your ear.

“See you at dinner ?” he asked. 

You simply nodded your head yes.

His hand was still gently caressing your cheek, the pads of his fingers were as light as a feather as they danced on your skin.

His eyes were locked in yours, and you had no idea of what was happening.

Until his fingers reached your chin, tilting your head up the slightest bit. 

Then he leaned in.

For the first time since you had started this ‘arrangement’ his lips met yours.

And they were sweeter than you thought, gentle, but there was an undertone of hunger, of neediness that you couldn’t ignore.

He tasted of nicotine and butter beer, bittersweet and addicting.

His lips were slightly chapped but you couldn’t care less about it as his tongue swiped on your bottom lip, his teeth grazing at it gently right after as he carefully bit the plump skin.

He pulled back slowly and you were left speechless.

He just chuckled at your wide eyes and agape mouth.

“Good luck on your essay, ok ? I’ll see you tonight” he left a quick kiss on your cheek before storming out of the door with a smile on his face.

Your thoughts were all over the place, because what the hell had just happened ?

Did Theodore Nott just kiss you ?

Something a little different from my usual marauders content, but he's been stuck in my brain for weeks now, and I couldn't help myself 😔

And honestly, as an Italian girl, I really think Lorenzo Zurzolo should be classified as a national treasure, thank you for coming to my ted talk.

[fangirlingatstuff]

I saw you were doing stuff for epic and I just had to put a request in if that’s ok and if you’re too busy that’s ok too. Sooooooo We all love Mandrake and I thought of this idea where what if once the reader was shrunken down they’d be kidnapped by the Boggans and brought to Mandrake’s kingdom but upon seeing them Mandrake would tell his guards to unhand them and he’d start to kinda sorta catch feelings. And the reader takes a little time getting used to him but can’t deny that he’s kindaaaaaaa. It can be in the form of head cannons or an x reader doesn’t matter to me. if you can’t it’s totally fine but if you can thank youuuu!

I am SO SO SO SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG DEAR GOD IM ASHAMED OF MYSELF

I’ve been going through a very bad writers block and havent worked on anything the past two years but Im working on it!

Kts not much, but this is what I have!

Barely a Mandrake x Reader imagine

You’re accidentally shrunk, how, nobody knows.

But you end up captured by equally confused boggans.

When they bring you up to Mandrake, you’re kicking and trying to break free, being very feisty and oh my god you are so cute cursing them all out oh no—

Mandrake orders them to let you go, and apologizes for the boggans before helping you up.

When asked and you tell him you’re a stomper, he’s both annoyed and curious.

Basically makes a reference to MK and your like “Wait this has happened before?”

Mandrake can only huff “Unfortunately”

He decides to take you to Nim so they can find out what to do (and he secretly enjoys having you wrap your arms around his waist)

Mandrake, basically barging into the tree, is shouting while having a hand on your shoulder (and its taking everything out of you to keep your face from burning up) “Nim! Where is that damn inch worm? NIM!”

He turns and looks at one of the white moths that flutter about, frowning. “Where’s your boss?”

Meanwhile Nim is walking by in and nearly has a heart attack before turning around and running behind a corner.

He peeks around and looks at the moth while making the neck slicing motion, “Tell him Im not here!”

“Nim, I hear you, you know.”

Nim smacks his face.

“Heyyyy Mandrake! Uh, what-what can I do for you?”

When Nim comes out and sees you beside Mandrake, mouth gaped open upon seeing a talking caterpillar, Nim freezes.

“Oh no not again.”

[that-one-weeb-buts-its-the-main]

Heya! Genuinely obsessed with your epic writing, there's so little content out there and even fewer for mandrake especially. I beg for another fic with him please. Not asking for anything specific, just wish for more of the bug dilf please

BRO WAIT- I ACTUALLY- HOLD UP I ACTUALLY HAD A GREAT FUCKIN BRAIN IDEA IDK WHY PONYO- BIG WOMAN SMALL MAN BIG WOMAN SMALL MAN THEN I CHANGED MY MIND

Family Bonding| Mandrake

Reader: female | she/her

Warnings: mentions of prego, and prego sadness

Note: Am...Am I back??

"Momma..." Dagda shook the sleeping woman, "Momma."

Y/n shifted, as her husband pulled her closer in, "Momma..."

With the third chime of her name her eyes slowly opened: it dark outside: moonlight breaking through the open window, a viable light source to see her child; no older than seven year old, looking up at her in her bed with big amber eyes.

"Dagda? Honey?" She muttered.

"Momma I heard something in my room." He spoke, he speaking uneasey, trying to be strong like she had taught him.

"Hm..." Y/n answered half asleep still, her body too tired and too comfortable to get out of bed she managed to wiggle herself free of her husbands grasp, keeping towards her usual side of the bed she opened the comfortor, inviting him to join her for the rest of the night, "nothing will get you in here. Come."

Dagda was quick to get up and climb himself in beside her, nuzzling into his mother with ease and comfort. Her aem drapped comfortably around him as she pulled the blanket closer, leaving Mandrake partnerless, and with a little less blanket.

She fell asleep with Dagda quiet quickly, the little boy doing the same in the safety of his mother's arms. Yet so enough, Mandrake grumbled, upset with the lack of body warmth, and reached to grab Y/n, he tried to roll her over, he willing to meet half way yet she mummbled something in annoyance and shifted. Annoyed but not willing to give up he moved himself, her back to his chest as his arm drapped over her.

It was a good twenty mintues till y/n had started to get hot, and wake up, she sighed getting up carefully, Dagda in her arms she got off the bed, replacing herself with her son, the two sleeping peacefully.

"Come back to bed." Mandrake mummbled towards her.

With a groan she fell back onto the bed, her back to Mandrake's as she nuzzled her way back in comfortably before falling asleep.

Sometime during the night Dagda woke up again, switching to lay between his parents backs, and then finally between them as they turned on there backs to lay comfortably with the new body between them.

"Your Majesty." A woman shook the woman's shoulder.

"Mhm..."

"Your majesty it's about to be sunrise." She cooed to the sleeping woman.

"Five more..."

"Ah..five more mintues never hurt-"

"Hours..." Y/n grumbled.

"I'll set up the extra strong tea then ma'am." She responded softly, leaving the family to sleep for a few extra minutes.

Y/n sighed; half-awake half asleep, she knew she'd have to get up, reluctant to do so, she stayed down for another full minute before doing anything. she shifted, ready to get up for the morning-

"Lay down," Mandrake grumbled, Y/n looked over at him half. way sat up.

"Someone has to do the morning-"

"Don't worry about that, I'll have it handled," he complained, eyes still closed, Y/n fell back into her spot, no one had to tell her again as she let herself fall back asleep.

Mandrake would take her spot, tired? Oh absolutely, but they had fallen into the routine of Y/n setting the kingdom up for the sun rise, usually handing rule over mid-day and staying by his side until late hours of the night.

He found himself in the kitchen, Y/n's right hand, Yemen preparing the usual pot of tea for Y/n's morning wake up. So when she turned around- surprised, she almost dropped the pot in shock to see the King there rather than the Queen.

"Oh! My-" She sighed, "You scared me your majesty, are you joining My Queen for tea?"

"Y/n is sleeping," Mandrake answered.

Yemen sighed, yet a smile stayed on her face, she knew the woman all to well now; "I'd like her to stay that way," Mandrake interrupted Yemen's thoughts.

"Oh," She responded pouring the cups of tea, "Then, I will awake the book keeper to assist you as you like him to in the evenings-"

"You will assist me, as you assist Y/n," Mandrake ordered as she placed the cup infront of Mandrake.

"Very well, would you like to follow the routine of my queen to the truest we can,"

"That'd be ideal."

Yemen nodded, "Well then theres...quiet...a bit of differences if you'd like to have those implemented too-"

She looked at the sundial hanging from her neck, turning towards the window.

"For a few more moments I will only be able to address you as My King. My queen prefers her name over anything. Breakfast will be finished at that time as well. My Queen would take half of it and some fruit. Never really finishes a plate of food, does she? She prefers her subjects to be friends rather than subjects, but understands the line between the two. A fine line she likes to keep that way. She'll feed My Prince during the small break she has between the early morns guest and the late morns guest, and She'll take them till you wake. Usually around late mid day? Then you run the Kingdom My King and she tends to the ladies and meets Ayana for tea. Then again, You have gotten lucky, Mrs. Y/n isn't scheduled for much this day, you have finished your breakfast?"

"I haven't picked up a fork,"

"Very well, you're first subjects arrive momentarily,"

Yemen walked off, Mandrake trying to sneak a bite of food "Come along now!" Yemen called for him.

He sighed and was quick to follow the woman.

Yemen had explained the moring wasn't going to be busy as usual, yet the line already forming told him differently.

The first set of his people in a distraught land argument. Surprised to see Mandrake rather than the Queen.

"Where is Mrs.Y/n the Queen!" One demanded.

"I am perfectly capable of running my kingdom without my love besides me."

"Yemen!"

"This is the arrangement for today, Fogo." Yemen commented, " If you three are dissatisfied with today, you may leave and take it up with Mrs.Y/n, With no ill will as she goes by."

The three looked at each other, and bowed, then left.

Turns out. Many came in the morning just for Y/n to rule and guidance from them. The few that did stay assumed Mandrake had known of there situation, off the top of his head, which he didn't- Y/n did and Y/n wasn't there.

From the number walkout he had he was finished early, and was allowed a proper meal, his son just waking up.

"Momma's still asleep." Dagda pulled at his father's cloak.

He picked up his son, "Your Mother deserves some rest. Here."

Dagda took the piece of mole bacon he was handed and ate at it.

"When will Momma get up?" Dagda asked.

"When she's not tired anymore." Mandrake answered.

In came Yemen with a envelope, she setting a tray up and on it tea, and a small breakfast.

"That is not for Y/n is it?"

"Yes sir. It is." Yemen answered.

"I will take it."

"Very well." Yemen answered, removing the letter and setting the tray straight.

"I will take both." Mandrake answered.

"It is addressed to the Queen." Yemen answered.

"I will take both." Mandrake ordered hand extended.

Yemen sighed, reluctance on her face as she handed over the letter. He didn't have to open it. The heart at the end of her name told him it all.

"If it makes your anger disappate." Yemen spoke turning towards the cupboard where she unlocked a lower draw, and pulled the whole thing from the frame, "she leaves them all. Unopened."

Dumping them onto the unoccupied counter space she set the drawer down.

"He writes but she does not answer." Yemen responded.

"What does he want?" Mandrake asked.

"I do not know."

Mandrake looked at the writing before sliding it to Yemen to add to the collection.

"Very well if that's what's she wishes."

Yemen nodded and added the letter to the drawer before returning it to the cabinet.

"Lets bring your mother her breakfast." Mandrake spoke, returning his attention to his son who was more than delighted to help.

With tray in Mandrakes hand, and a single team cup by two hands by baby Dadga they walked down the castle halls together.

"Is Momma sick?" Dagda asked.

Mandrake looked down at his son, "No."

"Oh. I thought she was." Dagda told his father, "she's only in bed like this when she's sick."

Mandrake was quiet, his wife ran his kingdom better than he ever would. He's have to apologize for it- they made it to the bedroom Dagda pushing past the existing opening in the door.

Y/n was right where she was left, still sleeping.

"Momma! Momma!"

Y/n hummed as Dagda put the cup on the night stand and climbed on the bed before Mandrake could even make it inside.

"Momma! There's breakfast for you!"

"Dagda don't wake your mother-"

It was too late she hummed and looked up and over at her son. Wait.

Why was Dagda up? He's never up before-

She shot up quickly in realization, "what time is it?!-"

"Everything's taken care of." Mandrake commented as Dagda moved to besides her.

She looked at the tray set besides her, then her husband, Dagda placing himself in her lap with a smile.

"Thank you...uh...thank you," she spoke unsure if she was dreaming or not looking at the single teacup, "maybe...you could go get some extra teacups please?"

Dagda looked up at his mother nodding at her request and was quick to move his way along off the bed out the door.

"You...you didn't have to do this." Y/n spoke, "I could have done it."

"You do it every day, I'm sure one day off won't hurt," Mandrake spoke, his clawed hand reaching out to rub along her cheek, which she only flinched the slightest, and he retracted.

"What was not done?" She asked quickly attempting to avoid a conversation.

"Y/n," He started.

"I'm assuming they-"

"Y/n" He repeated as she grew quiet she looking down at the tray.

"I... feel guilty..." She started, she could feel the tears welling up in her eyes.

"Love-"

"You can get up and do this but I get up at the same time every day and can never even find time..." She sniffled.

"Please try not to feel guilty, you run my kingdom better than I, my people enjoy you better than I." Mandrake tried to reassure, wiping her face of large tears.

"I can't do this baby Mandrake," Y/n told him, "I can't last until winter like this,"

"Look at me," Mandrake lifted her chin up, "I know it's difficult, and I know it was not planned, what do you want to do?"

"Cry." was her only answer.

As quick as she answered the tray was moved to the floor and she was in his arms, a few more weeks until winter, three to be exact, and if it was anything like when she was pregnant with their eldest, this would be the start of her sleepless nights filled with sobbing and praying filled days to whatever part of the forest that would listen to her sobs, these last weeks were the hardest in his eyes, without her brother.

She cried into his shoulder as he rubbed her back in small circles, giving her temple a long kiss as she only held onto him tighter. Dagda came back in carefully with extra cups, and at the sound of his Mother's crying he set them on the floor and rushed over in anger.

"What did you do to her!" he argued.

"Dagda, your mother is just upset-"

"Why'd you make her upset!" He argued, "Why were you being mean to Momma!"

Dagda was quick to climb onto the bed and wedge his way somewhat carefully between his mother and father.

"Dadga!-" His father scolded.

The little boy pulled on his mother's shirt, he looking from her hidden place on Mandrake's shoulder.

"I'll beat him up!" Dagda declared, "If dad's being mean I'll put him down in the dungeon! With all the other meanies!"

Y/n couldn't help but chuckle, despite the tears that ran down her face, she pulling him up and closer between the two.

"your father's not being mean, he's being nice, giving me a shoulder to cry on."

Dagda looked at his mother, "Why are you crying then?"

"Sometimes...everyone just needs to cry," Y/n smiled smally at him, "But thank you for trying to help."

Dagda cuddled into his mother, Mandrake holding the two of them close, nothing could be as perfect as his family, good days, bad days, sad days and happy days, as long as they were together.

[ms-snape]

Hello, can you just write severu x reader? Some angst but fluff at the end? She’s try several times makes first move but he is just Severus. He won’t realize until she stop with trying to get to him. Thank you.

Title: Too Late?

Warning: Angst

Words Count: 3000+

Masterlist

---

Professor Y/N L/N loved the quiet, the calm of the Hogwarts greenhouse. The smell of damp earth and the soft rustle of leaves were her comfort. It was a sanctuary, a place where she could lose herself in the careful tending of magical plants, and a place where she could allow her thoughts to wander — especially to him.

Severus Snape.

She didn’t quite know when it had happened, or how it had grown so deeply rooted in her heart, but somewhere between the late-night faculty meetings, the shared glances in the staff room, and the way his voice lingered just a bit longer than necessary when addressing her, Y/N had found herself hopelessly in love with him.

It was ridiculous, really. She, the soft-spoken Herbology professor, with her love for nature and her quiet kindness, had fallen for the cold, brooding Potions Master. He was a man of sharp words, dark eyes, and a demeanor so cold it could freeze the very air around him. His silences spoke volumes, and his gaze could pierce you, if you weren’t careful.

Yet despite the distance, despite his icy exterior, she had tried. Tried, again and again, to show him that she was different. That she could be something more. That she cared. But he didn't seem to notice.... Or at least pretended not to....

--

It was a Tuesday morning, and Y/N was working diligently in the greenhouse, tending to the mandrakes. The plants had been quite active lately, and their cries were always a challenge. She hummed softly as she carefully repotted one of the mandrakes, the soft clink of her trowel against the ceramic pot soothing in the otherwise quiet room.

She hadn’t heard him approach.

"Professor L/N," came his voice, low and familiar.

Y/N’s heart stuttered. She straightened quickly, wiping her hands on her apron, trying to hide the flutter of nervousness in her chest.

"Professor Snape," she said, smiling a little too brightly. "I didn’t hear you come in. How can I help you?"

His black robes swished around him as he stepped into the greenhouse, his eyes narrowing slightly as they scanned the plants. His gaze flicked over the mandrakes, the fanged geraniums, the bubotubers. He was a master of his craft, of course, but the world of Herbology wasn’t one he usually paid attention to. Y/N couldn’t help but feel a rush of warmth when he stood so close.

"I’m just inspecting your work," he said, his tone sharp but not unkind. "You’ve been… diligent."

She nodded eagerly, pleased by his praise, though she wasn’t sure if it was meant as one. "I’m always happy to share what I know, Professor Snape. Perhaps I could show you some of the more—"

"No need." His voice was clipped, dismissive. "You are doing fine. Just make sure the plants don’t become too… unruly."

She bit her lip, her smile faltering, but she kept her voice steady. "Of course. I’ll keep an eye on them. Would you like to join me for a cup of tea after your rounds? I’ve been experimenting with a new blend of chamomile and valerian root. It’s quite calming."

The words hung in the air between them like a delicate thread, fragile and vulnerable.

Severus Snape didn’t respond immediately. His eyes flicked over her face, as if searching for something in her expression. His lips were thin, his brow furrowed slightly.

"I do not have time for tea, miss Y/L/N." His tone softened, but it was still cold. "I suggest you spend more time with your plants than offering tea to your colleagues."

She blinked, feeling a pang of hurt pierce her chest, though she quickly masked it with a polite nod. "Of course. I understand. Maybe some other time, then."

He didn’t say anything more. He simply turned and walked away, his black robes sweeping behind him like a shadow.

Y/N stood in the middle of the greenhouse, staring after him, her heart sinking. It had been the same every time.

A week had passed since that encounter in the greenhouse. The morning had been busy with classes, and now Y/N found herself in the staff room, going through some notes and preparing for the afternoon lesson. It was always the same. She would prepare, she would smile, and yet the reactions from Severus were always cold.

Her thoughts were interrupted when the door opened, and Severus stepped into the room. His black eyes flickered over her, but he didn’t speak. He didn’t need to. They both knew why he was here — the weekly staff meeting was starting soon.

Y/N straightened and greeted him with a polite smile, as always. "Good afternoon, Severu. How was your morning?"

He gave her a curt nod. "Uneventful."

The silence stretched between them, thick and uncomfortable. Y/N had tried to fill it once with a conversation about a rare plant she had recently discovered, but he had barely acknowledged it. His eyes were always distant, always elsewhere.

She didn’t know why she kept trying. Why she kept hoping that one day, he might see her. That he might realize that she wasn’t just another colleague, another face in the crowd. She didn’t know why she thought her kindness might be enough to break through the fortress he’d built around himself.

But despite it all, she kept trying.

As the staff meeting started, she sat across from him, her attention on the various discussions about upcoming events, but her thoughts were elsewhere — on him. Always on him. His sharp profile, the way his fingers drummed on the armrest of his chair, the occasional glance in her direction.

She could feel his eyes on her at times, though she couldn’t be sure if it was just her imagination. She didn’t have the courage to look up and meet his gaze, but she always felt the weight of it, a silent pressure.

A few days later, after another failed attempt to make him notice her — a carefully chosen compliment, a smile, a lingering look — Y/N had had enough. She had poured her heart into her attempts, trying to show him that she wasn’t like the others. That she could understand him, if only he would let her. But he wouldn’t.

He wouldn’t let anyone in.

It was a quiet night in the castle, and Y/N found herself walking through the hallways toward her quarters. She had spent the entire day in the greenhouse, putting in extra hours, hoping to take her mind off the frustration of the past few weeks.

The door to her room creaked as she entered, and the warmth of the fire that crackled in the hearth greeted her. She closed the door softly behind her, leaning against it for a moment, her heart heavy.

She had tried. She had been so kind, so patient, so open. But Severus would never look at her the way she had hoped.

Tears stung her eyes, though she didn’t let them fall. She wiped her face quickly, determined not to let the hurt consume her. She wasn’t going to chase someone who couldn’t even acknowledge her efforts.

No more trying.

The next day, Y/N was different. She kept to herself more than usual, focusing entirely on her work, her plants, the students. She had stopped making any attempt to speak with Severus, stopped offering him tea or trying to catch his eye.

And it didn’t take long for Severus to notice.

He wasn’t sure when it started. At first, he thought it was a fleeting thing, just another mood, another oddity in her usual demeanor. But when the days stretched into a week, and he saw her pulling away from him more and more, it began to gnaw at him.

He didn’t understand it.

Why did her absence bother him so much? Why did the sight of her avoiding him, walking past him without so much as a glance, make something in his chest tighten in a way he couldn’t explain?

He found himself watching her from afar, noting the way she no longer lingered in the staff room, no longer made small talk, no longer gave him those tentative smiles. The warmth that had always seemed to radiate from her was gone.

It bothered him more than he cared to admit.

Severus sat alone in his office late one night, the flickering candlelight casting long shadows across the stone walls. His mind was racing, and for once, the calm, measured pace of his thoughts seemed to have been interrupted by something… something unexpected.

Y/N.

Her absence.

Why did it matter? Why did it hurt?

He had spent years perfecting the art of indifference, of never allowing himself to feel anything that could be used against him. And yet, here he was, unable to focus, unable to keep his mind from wandering back to her.

The way her eyes sparkled when she spoke about her plants. The soft way she laughed. The way she cared for things. For him, in ways he couldn’t understand.

It was then, in the quiet solitude of his office, that Severus Snape realized something that terrified him.

He missed her.

And he had no idea how to fix it.

Severus Snape sat in his darkened office, staring into the flickering flames of the hearth, his mind a turbulent sea. The realization that he had been ignoring Y/N’s feelings — that he had pushed her away in his usual cold, dismissive manner — had only just hit him, and the weight of it was suffocating. He had been too absorbed in his own self-imposed isolation, too locked away in his fortress of bitterness and skepticism, to notice what had been so painfully clear to everyone else.

Y/N was gone.

Her warmth had disappeared from the corridors, from the staff room, from the greenhouse. And the coldness in his heart, which he had always managed to keep at bay, now gnawed at him like a hungry animal.

But he didn’t know how to fix it.

The door to his office creaked open, and Severus was momentarily startled from his thoughts. He raised his eyes, expecting to see the usual ghostly figure of one of the students needing a late-night potion or a missing assignment. Instead, it was Minerva McGonagall, her stern features softened by concern.

"Severus," she said, her tone unusually gentle, "I thought I might find you here."

"Minerva," he replied with a slight nod, though his voice was edged with weariness. "I trust there's a reason for this unannounced visit?"

Minerva didn’t immediately respond. She stepped inside and closed the door behind her, her movements deliberate, and her gaze sharp as always. She had been his colleague for years, and over that time, she had come to understand him more than most. But there was something different about her today, something perceptive in the way her eyes followed his every movement, as if weighing something heavy.

"I need to speak with you, Severus," she said, her voice quieter now. "And I believe you need to hear me out."

Severus tilted his head, his interest piqued. "I’m listening."

Minerva took a deep breath before sitting down opposite him. Her hands folded neatly in her lap as she began, carefully choosing her words.

"I've noticed the way things have been between you and Y/N lately," she started, her gaze steady but soft. "And I’m sure you’ve noticed, too. She’s been… distant not only to you but to everyone."

Severus stiffened, his chest tightening. "I hadn’t noticed," he replied, though even to his own ears, the words sounded hollow. He had noticed of course. How could he not? The absence of her smile, the quiet that surrounded her every time they crossed paths — it was impossible to ignore. He had simply been too afraid to confront it.

Minerva’s gaze softened with an almost imperceptible sigh. "Of course you noticed, Severus. But I don’t think you understand why she’s been avoiding you."

He frowned, his brows knitting together. "She has her reasons, no doubt. But if it’s something about my behavior, then it’s none of your concern."

Minerva leaned forward slightly, her voice dropping to a quieter, more direct tone. "Maybe not but it is your concern, Severus. Y/N has been avoiding you because she’s finally given up. She cares about you more than you realize — more than you’ve ever given her credit for. She’s been trying to show you that for months."

Severus recoiled slightly, as if struck. "What are you talking about?"

Minerva’s eyes softened, though there was an unmistakable firmness to her words. "Y/N is not the kind of person to wear her heart on her sleeve. But she’s a kind woman, a generous soul, and she’s been trying, in her own quiet way, to get your attention. She’s been patient, thoughtful, and kind, always offering you small gestures — a smile, an invitation, a word of encouragement — things she knew you needed, even if you didn’t ask for them. But you never noticed. You’ve always been so consumed by your own… distance, your own walls, that you failed to see how much she cared for you."

Severus felt something twist inside of him, sharp and painful. He thought of all the times he had dismissed her, all the times he had pushed her away. The little moments, the fleeting glances, the kindness she had shown him without asking for anything in return. The realization hit him like a jolt of electricity — he had been blind. Completely blind.

"She’s given up, Severus," Minerva continued, her voice full of quiet understanding. "She’s stopped trying. And that… that is what you’re feeling now. The absence of something you took for granted. But you need to realize something — it’s not too late. If you want her to stay, if you want her to know how much you care… then you need to show her. You need to show her before she walks away completely."

Her words hung in the air between them, heavy and undeniable. Severus’s mind was whirling, and his stomach churned with regret. He couldn’t let her go. Not like this. Not when he was finally starting to understand the depth of his own feelings.

Minerva stood up and placed a hand on his shoulder, her touch surprisingly gentle. "Don’t waste any more time, Severus. I’ve seen the way you look at her when you think no one’s watching. You’re not as good at hiding it as you think. She deserves to know how you feel. If you don’t tell her now, you may never get the chance again."

Severus nodded, his face grim but determined. He had no more excuses. He needed to act.

It was late in the evening when Severus finally made his way to the greenhouse. He had spent hours pacing his office, turning Minerva’s words over in his mind, until he had worked up the courage to do what he should have done weeks ago.

Y/N was there, as always, amidst the plants that seemed to bloom brighter in her presence. She was kneeling beside a potted plant, carefully tending to its roots, her back turned to the door.

For a moment, Severus hesitated. His heart was pounding in his chest, and for the first time in a long while, he felt vulnerable. His pride had kept him distant for so long, but now, standing in front of her, it felt like he had nothing left but the raw truth of his feelings.

"Professor L/N," he said, his voice low but steady.

Y/N’s head snapped up in surprise. She looked at him for a long moment, her face unreadable. "Professor Snape," she replied quietly, her voice just as cold as it had been the past few weeks. "I wasn’t expecting you."

He swallowed hard, forcing himself to step closer, the sound of his boots on the stone floor loud in the silence. "I owe you an apology, Y/N."

Her eyebrows furrowed slightly, and she stood, brushing her hands on her apron. "You owe me nothing, Professor."

Severus shook his head, the words rushing out before he could stop them. "No. I do owe you something. I’ve been… blind. I’ve ignored you, pushed you away, and I’ve been foolish. I’ve taken your kindness for granted and never once thought to reciprocate it. I never realized how much you… how much you meant to me." He paused, swallowing against the tightness in his throat. "You were trying, weren’t you? Trying to tell me how you felt, trying to show me you cared. And I—"

Y/N’s expression softened, though there was still a hint of sadness in her eyes. "Severus, you don’t have to do this," she said quietly, her voice trembling slightly. "It’s too late."

"No," he said, his voice more insistent now. "It’s not too late. I was a fool, and I’m sorry. I don’t expect forgiveness, but I can’t stand the thought of you walking away because I didn’t see what was right in front of me. Please. I—"

Y/N took a step closer, her eyes searching his face, and for the first time in what felt like an eternity, Severus saw something in her eyes that wasn’t guarded. Something warm. Vulnerable.

"You don’t have to apologize," she said, her voice soft but steady. "I didn’t think you’d ever see me like that. I gave up, Severus. I thought you didn’t want me around."

Severus reached out, his hand hovering just in front of her as if afraid to touch her. "I was wrong. I was so wrong."

For a long moment, neither of them spoke. The only sound in the greenhouse was the soft rustling of leaves, the distant hum of magic in the air. Then, with a gentle but firm motion, Severus reached out and took her hand in his. His heart raced, and for the first time, he allowed himself to be vulnerable — to let her see what had been hidden behind the icy walls he had built for so long.

Y/N’s gaze softened, and she squeezed his hand, her lips parting slightly as if to speak, but instead, she just looked at him — with warmth, with understanding.

And for once, Severus didn’t feel alone.

[myfictionaldreams]

Hey :) i would love to ask for a spicy Lucius Malfoy x Reader ☺️ something like Reader is a young Teacher in Hogwarts and Lucius and her are having an (very serious) affair (takes Place in the chamber of secrets).

The School Governor //Lucius Malfoy x Fem!Reader

A/N: Thank you so much for the request! I've never written Lucius before, but hopefully, you'll enjoy it!

Tags: 18+ readers only, smut, infidelity/cheating, secret relationship, rough sex, creampie, fingering, squirting, tension, praise kink, size difference, Narcissa bashing (sorry!), kissing, fluff/angst

Words: 2.8k

my masterlist 📚

AO3 Link

“Are you sure you’re supposed to be here at this time of day, Mr Malfoy?”

The corner of the man’s lip twitched up like he was trying to smile but attempting to conceal it by remaining stoic. You were then faced with his signature sneer, those piercing grey eyes wandering over your appearance as if he was assessing whether he even wanted to waste his time. “It seems I’ve become lost on my travels around Hogwarts. Might you show me the way out?” Lucius asked with disdain thick in his voice

“Of course, Sir. Just this way”, you pointed in the direction you’d just walked from. No one even blinked an eye in either of your directions as you led him away from the grouping of students who were all on their way to bed as the night drew closer to curfew.

Your head remained forward, not once looking over your shoulder to check if he was following as you knew that he would be. You thanked Merlin for having an office so far away from students and other professors as the main offices were already lived in. You were new to the school, recently hired to assist Madam Pomfrey with Herbology, as she was too busy trying to attend to the Mandrakes.

The job may have been due to the recommendations of the man following closely behind you, his cane clicking against the stone floor and billowing close, switching the dust in whichever direction he turned.

As you both approached further towards the greenhouses and, thus, your office, there was a blossoming of heat and anticipation spreading from the centre of your chest to the tip of your toes. This was always something that your body seemed to do whenever within arms reach of the school’s governor. Moreover, he always seemed to be at the school nowadays, stating that he was there on school business, especially with the latest attacks on the students.

This is just an excuse, however, pretending to look around the school to catch the Headmaster in a scheme, but really, he would be sneaking to your classroom, office or meeting in the Forbidden Forest.

It was wrong. More than wrong. He had a wife, whom he was incredibly unhappy with, having been forced into a marriage as soon as he’d finished his time as a student at Hogwarts. All to abide by the pure blood status and traditions without any sort of say in the matter. Forced to live a life of misery, reproduce and have heirs and then die in a loveless marriage.

This was the only reason you had continued to meet with him. The ache in your heart quickly succumbs to his negative life. You knew he was manipulative, quick-tempered and had questionable ideologies on the dark arts. But when it came to Lucius Malfoy, it was as if your mind purposefully ignored these warning signs, mainly because he never discussed or acted in a horrible way around you.

You were always his peace and tranquillity, his little saviour in the dark before the world's realities came crumbling down around him. There you were, gifted with the raw, passionate, and incredibly loving man who held your hand when walking past, stroking your cheek to catch any slipped tears when it was time to say goodbye for a few more weeks.

It was a complex relationship to have and made even more so when you were now having to teach his son, Draco, who seemed to be a smaller copy of his Father, to be even more arrogant at his young age. It meant that you could give him additional help to boost his grades and, therefore, please his father, which, in turn, helped bring positivity into the secret relationship.

As you were greeted with the view of the long corridor that led to your office, your steps slowed as Lucius snapped, “Dobby. Check the area is clear for any prying eyes”.

With a flash out of the corner of your eyes, Dobby appeared and disappeared, apparating further down the corridor in multiple positions to check if the two of you were truly alone.

“The area is clear, Master”, Dobby approached before disappearing completely. You and Lucius rushed the remaining way to the office. You opened the door wide enough for him to follow through and slammed closed. As your wand waved in front of the handle, thoroughly locking the two of you in, a hand gripped your hip, turning your body so that your back met the door's wood.

A leathery gloved hand then cupped your jaw, tilting your face back so that Lucius could kiss you with as much desperation and urgency as you felt in the centre of your chest. It almost hurt with how much pressure his face was applying to yours, his warm breath fanning across the apple of your cheeks with where his nose was pressing. Your hands lifted to grab any part of him and ended up clinging onto the opening of his cloak, harshly tugging him even closer until there wasn’t a gap between your bodies.

Releasing a soft moan from your throat, this seemed to begin moving further, both gloved hands now cupping both of your cheeks in a safe cocoon as his thumbs caressed careful circles against your skin.

The coldness of the material wasn’t enough to satisfy your need for him as you dipped your head to free your mouth. “Off! I need your clothes off!”

Lucius’s baritone laugh burst across your face as he stepped back to give the two of you some room. “Such a demanding little thing, aren’t you?”

“I am when you’re wearing so many layers! Take them off!”

He chuckles at your reaction once more but finally begins to remove the cloak from his shoulders and gloves from his hands, next attempting to undo the luxurious vest jacket that he wore. The buttons running down the middle were taking too long for him to undo, so you quickly gripped either side of the best and pulled hard, surprised by your strength as the buttons began to pop off and tumble.

“Do you know how expensive this was?” he asked incredulously, but humour still danced behind his bright eyes.

“I’ll fix it at the end”, you say breathlessly, wrapping both arms around his neck and pulling him in for another heated kiss. A perfect mix of lips, teeth and tongue, all moving together, nipping, licking and sucking. Neither mouth pulled apart from the other, making the actions more frantic and chaotic with the attempts to remove more of the clothing articles. Soon, you both became frustrated by the barriers and settled for the basics.

Leaving your jumper and skirt on, you kicked off the shows, tights and underwear you’d been wearing as Lucuius kept his white shirt on but undid his leather belt to loosen his trousers and boxers until they were around his knees.

Lucius pulled back from the heated kiss first, but only so he could turn you around and push you face-first against the door. You huffed at the impact but soon were groaning in pleasure as he lifted your skirt and began to rock his dick against your folds, teasing you with gentle pressure before finding its home in your warm cunt.

“Silenco”, Lucius whispers, waving his hand as the atmosphere becomes dense as the spell renders the area soundproof. With the safety of the spell, your mouth fell open, and a barrel of dirty moans left your lips as you didn’t hold back from telling him how good it felt to be stretched by his cock once more.

Lucius dipped his height so that his forehead could rest against your cheek, breathing heavily as he thrust hard and deep. The pace was bruising to the side of your face, resting against the door, but nothing in the world would get you to stop at that moment. To be able to feel his thick length fucking hard into your pussy was something you craved every day.

As your hand reached the back of his head, gripping his silky white-blond hair, you gasped, “I’ve missed you”.

Lucuius groans as he nuzzles into your neck, biting the skin just below your ear as his arm moves around your waist, angling your hips so your arse is sticking out slightly so he can deepen the thrusts.

“I’ve missed you too, little witch. So much more than you could ever know”. Your heart could have stopped at his words, falling even more in love with him than you had before, which tightened your drenched walls even further around him. “I know you’re close. I want to feel you cum around my cock Darling, cum for me like the good witch I know you are”.

As he praises you, the arm around your waist slips beneath the front of your skirt so that he can roll your clit in circles, matching the pace of his hips. Your thighs tremble, fingers clenching his hair until it hurt, but Lucius didn’t stop until you were crying out in pleasure, cunt clamping in spasms around his length, and he, too, joined you through his own orgasm.

Lucius didn’t stop rolling his hips until you were sated and calm from cumming, and his seed had soaked as deep as he possible, caressing your cervix and then dripping out down your thighs. The two of you sighed in contentment, staying together, pushed against the wall, and just appreciating the moment you had tangled against one another.

“I didn’t expect to see you for at least another week. Have you come because of the attacks?”

“I feel as a good Govenor; my answer should be yes”, he whispered against the shell of your ear, nipping the lobe with his teeth, causing goosebumps to rise down your arms. “I can’t deny, however, that it was you that brought me here. I meant it when I said I missed you”.

Even with his softening cock still inside of you, he knew how to make your knees tremble as you blew out a long breath as you asked, “Can you please stay?”

You could feel his shoulders dropping and knew his answer before he’d even begun to speak, and sadness spread through your body, replacing the euphoric sensation. Lucius gently kissed the back of your head as he carefully eased himself away from you, “I’m sorry, my love, you know I can’t”.

Smiling to hide the upset, you turned to him, “I know. I’m sorry I always ask; I just hope that one day you’ll be able to say yes”.

His warm hands cup your cheeks delicately as you do the same for him, carefully moving some of the messy strands behind his ears. “I’m sorry”, he says earnestly.

“Could you stay for a drink at least?”

“I would never say no to a drink with you”. Lucius began to dress, looking significantly more chaotic than before but always looking crisp before leaving. All you managed to do was pick up your discarded clothes and shows, straighten your jumper and wait for him to wave his wand between your legs, cleaning up the mess he had created with a smile.

Walking further into the office, you entered through the hidden door at the back of the room leading directly into your living area. The fire sparked to life as soon as you stepped onto the roof, instantly filling the vast space with heat and an orange hue. Pouring the both of you a hefty glass of dark liquid, you both cheered the glasses together, taking a deep swig of the alcohol that burned your throat deliciously and then settled into the sofa.

You sat remarkably relaxed with him, leaving your bare legs thrown over his lip as his arm settled around your shoulders to keep you close as you watched the fire lights dancing with the flickers of the flames.

“He’s nearly top of the class, but I think he’d have a hard time trying to best both Longbottom or Granger”, you explained sometime later as Lucius asked how Draco was fairing in your class. The man scoffs, only earning him a slap to his chest, “Hey! They’re my students; stop that”. Thankfully, he held his tongue and didn’t prattle on his biased opinions on pure-bloods or traitors, which he had quickly learnt was nothing you were particularly focused on. “Could I ask about what the governors are going to do about the attacks? I don’t want them to close the school, but it feels so dangerous now that students are being attacked”.

Lucius’ arm tightens around your shoulder as his lips press against your temple. “Nothing will harm you, Darling, and I’ve told you this already: I can’t speak of the Governor meetings. We’re sworn to secrecy”.

“It’s not me I’m worried for. It’s the children. It means - aren’t you worried about Draco?”

Your head tilts back on his arm so you can look up into his effortlessly handsome face, expecting him to be worried. However, he only appeared to be as calm and in control as ever, his grey eyes dancing with yours and the bottom lip you’d tucked between your teeth.

“Not at all. He’s in the safest house with the safest blood. I have no worries for my son”. His answer confused you, but you’d just put it down to his many prejudices and superiority complex. Reach up to stroke the smooth sin of his jaw, and you can’t resist the temptation to lean closer and kiss him deeply, tasting the alcohol on his tongue that matched your own.

“What’s it like?” you ask between kisses, unable to stop yourself from asking. “At home, I mean, what’s it like? Do you have any happiness at all?”

“You know I’m not happy and never will be with her”, he answers abruptly, to look at you with a questioning gaze.

“I didn’t mean it like that. I know you hate her”. You refuse to say her name both from shame and jealousy. “Do you have anything else that brings you joy? I hate the thought of you being alone in a big house with no one to give you any positivity”.

The hand lazily resting across your calves begins to draw circles into the skin as he contemplates his answer. “Without Draco there, I have no one. Narcissa and I may eat meals together, but that’s as far as it goes. We never talk; we even sleep in separate rooms. Everything is always for show, which is why these moments with you, where I get to be with someone I genuinely love, mean the most to me”.

You shake at his words, feeling the edges of your eyes water as you cling to him with even more desperation. What's more, the hand on your calf was beginning to slowly creep up the sensitive area of your inner thigh, distracting you from continuing the conversation as your legs automatically parted, giving him more room.

“Lucius”, you pleaded, eyes following his long fingers, the thick silver ring with the ‘M’ wrapped around his thumb adding extra sensitivity with the coolness of it against your skin.

“Shh, I’ve got you, little witch. Just relax for me”, he whispered against your temple as his fingers finally reached their goal. Your head tipped onto his shoulder as your back arched. All of your thoughts were centred on the skillfully trained fingers as he explored your dampening folds, spreading them with ease to give his middle finger the path to your eagerly awaiting hole.

You were a mewling mess as he eased two fingers into your cunt, coating the digits in your juices and rocking them in and out carefully. Lucius began to move the arm around your shoulders, relaxing his hold so he could lie you down on the sofa as he leaned over you, his mouth hovering just above yours.

“Are you going to be good for me, my Darling?” he asks, his warm breath teasing you once more as your legs try to clamp his hand in place.

“Yes!” Your shout was abrasive, but only because he’d already caused you to become a pathetic mess. Lucius smiled against your lips but didn’t move to kiss you properly as he applied more pressure with his fingers and thumb and stroked your clit.

You could feel his soft hair falling around your face as he began to curl his fingers inside of you, pounding that one spot within you that had you seeing stars. You weren’t able to say a coherent word as moisture squirted from your cunt, coating his fingers and wrist as he continued the action at a hard and fast pace.

The sloshing noise was obscene to your ears as he made you squirt over your thighs, sofa and his black trousers. You weren’t even sure you’d came as everything went from 0-100 with how intense his fingers had made you feel.

When he slowed his curling digits, you were a gooey mess in his arms. A grin erupted across your face as he sighed into the cushions, leaning further into his chest as he kissed your temple, allowing you to catch your breath.

“I must go; it’s getting late. You know I love you, my little witch”.

“I love you too, Mr Malfoy”.

[musingsofahufflepuff]

Puppy Eyes

animagus!Mattheo Riddle x gn!reader; fluff

summary: your boyfriend suckered you into becoming an animagus with him, and knowing him it was probably to cause mischief. but surrounded by the night breeze and the stars in his eyes, you know you’d follow him on any adventure.

a/n: 2 published in 2 days? maybe i am magic. i’m kinda obsessed with the idea of animagi and i cannot for the life of me find one where mattheo is one too. so i wrote one. i’m definitely down to write a part 2 or one for theo, just let me know if that’s something you’d be interested in ♡

You were ready to get this damn leaf out of your mouth. A mandrake leaf specifically, which you were planning to use in your pursuit of becoming an animagus. It had been sitting in your mouth for almost an entire month and it wasn’t getting any better. You looked up at your boyfriend, who was in the same predicament, with a scowl.

It had been his idea to start the process of becoming animagi and with those big brown eyes, who were you to say no? So here you were at breakfast trying not to swallow it and heaven forbid having to start over.

“I can’t believe you guys are really going through with it,” Pansy looks between the two of you.

“Riddle just wants to commit crimes and get away with it,” Draco smirks, “impressive he roped y/n into it with him though.”

Mattheo rolls his eyes before focusing his attention back on you. The smile he gives you makes your irritability fade away.

Before you knew it the month was up and all there was left to do was wait for a lightening storm. Which just so happened to be tonight. Mattheo had kept the phials of potion in the shrieking shack after you had finished putting them together. That’s where you were heading now.

He was sitting cross legged on the floor when you made it inside. His eyes lit up once he saw you, a small smile finding its way onto his lips. “I was a little worried you were going to back out.”

“I thought about it,” you tease and you settle down next to him. “You sure about this?”

“Completely.” He gives a squeeze to your hand before placing the crystal phial in your grasp, the liquid inside now a blood red.

You get out your wand and say the incantation one last time and pause to watch Mattheo take the potion like he was taking a shot of fire whiskey.

With a deep inhale, you follow Mattheo’s lead and tip the potion into your mouth.

The sensation is… odd. Like your bones were all shifting at once. There’s a searing pain everywhere and that double heartbeat you had experienced while performing the incantation over the past week. Moments pass before you open your eyes.

Your perspective of the room has changed drastically, everything towering above you. Right in front of you stands a striking dark wolf, at least double your height. And those chocolate brown eyes are unmistakable.

You aren’t surprised that Mattheo turned out to be a canine. You also aren’t surprised how ethereal he looks. If anything, you were surprised he wasn’t a golden retriever, with his eager to please personality (at least for you) and puppy dog eyes.

You notice his tail wagging wildly behind him which leads you to look behind you and see a fluffy, mocha-colored tail doing similar. While you were mesmerized by your new appendage, Mattheo padded his way over to you and dropped into a laying position to not intimidate you.

Pulling your attention to your boyfriend you see he still has the scar on the bridge of his nose, only now it rests in the middle of his snout. Instinctively, you push your head into his fluffy neck, letting out a sigh when he rests his chin on you. He still smells the same as he normally does, cigarettes and his cologne filling your lungs.

You find yourself migrating between his paws, curling into the soft fur of his chest.

You lay together for a while, the storm still raging on outside the shack. As it sounds like it’s letting up, Mattheo rises on all fours and nods for you to follow him.

The grass is damp beneath your paws and the night sky is now clear above you. It takes a few moments to get used to moving on four legs instead of two, but Mattheo looks to be a natural. Your heart warms watching him run through the grass, apparently having the time of his life.

Finally feeling confident on your legs, you take off in his direction. Seeing you sprinting towards him has his tail moving a million kilos an hour. With a mischievous glimmer in his eyes, he turns and leads you toward the forest. In any other circumstance you’d be a little nervous running off into the forbidden forest, but something about your new form takes the anxiety off your chest.

The forest at night was something otherworldly. Moonlight filtered through the trees, illuminating Mattheo’s fur. You pushed your legs faster to catch up to his longer stride. Finally getting side by side, you take a look at him and the look on his face simultaneously fills your heart with glee and sorrow.

He looks free. More free than you had seen him in your half a decade of knowing him. You desperately want to see him like this all the time.

You don’t immediately realize you’ve stopped running, lost in the happiness radiating off him. Blinking a couple times, you look around at your surroundings. You’re standing at the edge of a small lake, the moonlight sitting peacefully on the surface. To your left is, to your surprise, a unicorn resting in what appears to be its den of sorts.

Wonder in your eyes, you look up to find Mattheo already looking down at you. As you gaze into those brown eyes you adore, you can see the entire universe looking back at you.

The next morning finds you in Mattheo’s bed, his limbs tangled in yours. He’s still sleeping and you can’t help but think how gentle he looks like this. You press a kiss to his nose. As his grip tightens around you, you hear him mumble in his sleep laced voice, “I love you, my little fox.”

[skyrigel]

Pairing: Mattheo Riddle x reader ( 1k )

Enemies with benefits, get's smutty later.

It's a misty memory, like swirl of silvery glow when you first saw Mattheo, he was nervous and perhaps that was the first and last time you saw him like that, his shy eyes, his nervous steps, his lips perched in a thin line. He was like any other eleven year old, but then something changed the very next moment.

‘ Slytherin ’ the hat roared, barely even brushing his hair and his lazy mouth curved in a smirk that was forever plastered on his face. His jaw hardened, eyes sharpened, brows arched, everything almost changed except the dark glint of that night and the smile that you had engraved forever in your memory.

People chose soulmates, picked lovers but that night, Mattheo Riddle decided one thing, he's going to hate you so much. You were unaware of his intentions until the next day you found a dead spider in your rucksack. If there were any doubt left, then it became crystal clear when he dropped mandrakes crushed roots in your cauldron, eyes locked with you and by the time you could react, the cauldron bursted into thousand orbs.

All grey became white and black when you spent a month worth in detention with sadist Professor Snape, who made you clean every cauldron with bare hand, made you stock all those sticky vile ingredients in glassy jars.

“ Having fun y/n ? ” Mattheo snarled, Draco on his shoulder and Pancy chewing a gum while she checked you out lazily.

You said nothing, you had no energy to, sweat trickled down your forehead, feeling your hands dirty and uniform ragged, you turned away, hurrying to your dorm.

You decided one thing that night, you were going to hate Mattheo Riddle so much.

_

The potency of Professor's words didn't quite leave you when you stumbled dreamily in the room of requirments, eyes red with insomnia and stomach lurching with only coffee contents you had the luxury of.

“ You look like shit.” Mattheo didn't look up form his textbook, her hands scripting away the ancient text like it was a David Bowie song.

“ Thankyou.” you said, sitting down and opening the potion essay you were due on, Snape was going to kill you.

“ wait—” you jerked you head at his direction, within seconds you shot a hex, flying at him.

He was quick too, like waiting to be noticed by you, ducking the hex away with a swish of his wand.

“ Good morning to you too.” he joked, you were in no mood for jokes. After what his friends and ofcourse him too, did to Hannah.

“ Fuck off. ” you shot another and another, feeling anger boil inside you. He's so selfish, he's so bratty, he's so blemished, he's so—

“ Stupe—”

“ Expelliarmus! ’’ you screamed, beating him and his wand aflew away, a small sound followed with your breath leveling.

It was victory, you had won at last, but then your eyes met with him, he was staring too hard, not blinking, as he was too still, like he was made up of marble.

The stillness broke when he took a step, you blinked and when you opened your eyes again, all the world dropped dead.

Your back hit the wall with thud, your bones crackling with ache, like swindling out of reality, his arms pinning your shoulder back, breath warm on your skin, tingling.

“ wha—”

“ Shhh.” and you were quiet, it was hard not to, his mouth was too close, he was so close and then he looked up, that glint still there, that smile too— before his lips crashed with yours, setting fireworks off.

You have kissed, you knew how it felt, but this wasn't just kiss, it was shearing, it was breaking, it was trembling and all that gone, it was burning, twisting and coiling like snake inside you, this kiss was the one you could fall asleep and wake up to, painful, sinful, sweet and spicy, it was everything at once.

But that's not excuse, you kissed him back, as hungrily as he kissed you, you were pathetic, he kissed you and you what ?! Just gave in !

“ you...you..” you fumbled between words, lip trembling and you dared not look him in the eyes.

“ No.” Mattheo said, he shaked his hand, groaning inside but then his thumb came up, pressing at the corner of your mouth.

And oh, you felt your insides tighten at the sensation, you hated him, you hated yourself.

“ No ? ” you words came shaky and dazed but you didn't care, was it just a dream ? Did you ever thought about kissing Mattheo ? Was it always there in your subconscious mind ? He bullied you all your life and—

All thoughts melted when his mouth connected with yours again, it was better than the last time, like his mouth knew yours all his life. While the first one was like there's no time, this is it, like storm, this was slow and sweet, like pouring rain, like there were lifetimes waiting for you and him.

And then you found yourself fighting his tongue, his hands were hesitant, resting at the either sides of your face, you had yours thrown up, pressed on the wall, knuckles scrapping against the wood.

And Mattheo was loud, who could have tell that for a boy who walked like feather, all graceful swagger and hard jaw. Merlin, he kissed so good. His body was sending heat waves, like a furnace, his warmth radiated inside your body and each sound that he made low in his chest was enough to release the tension building inside you.

He pulled away, breathing hard but that wasn't the hardest thing about him. You tore your gaze away from his trousers, tenting at his middle, his desire in proof.

“ I...” He sighed, covering his face, flushed and red and that would the second time you saw Mattheo like that.

“ Come here tommorow, same time.” he said, not bothering to look back at you, stumbling footsteps that echoed after him, shy eyes and swollen beaming lips, having a smear of your lip gloss.

Everything was grey, again.

[illbegottenfaith]

hey!! i loved ur handwritten fic with the notes it was absolutely amazing, do u think u could make a pt 2 of that or just another fic with that format? thank u!! <3

handwritten pt 2 - theo nott x reader

yours and theo's story as told through notes passed in class

Part 1 | Part 2

a/n - thank you so much for this lovely!! it gave me the motivation I needed to clean up the dribs and drabs I had drafted out so here it is <3 I have plans/ideas for future chapters too (similar format but might not be restricted to just notes 👀) but I'm not sure how long of a series it'll actually end up being. enjoy!

tropes/warnings - fluff, a little more angst than the last chapter, newstudent!theo, estranged friends to lovers

word count - 1.9k

Saturday, 9.48 pm, The Three Broomsticks, Hogsmeade

You okay?

Yeah, why?

You’re awfully quiet. And you’ve been staring into your empty butterbeer for the past ten minutes, so either it was terrible or you’re plotting something.

Ha-ha.

You hate this, don’t you?

They’re just not the kind of people I hang out with.

Let’s get out of here.

Are you kidding? This party is for you, Theo.

Look at them. They’re drunk off their tits. No one’s going to mind.

No, stay. I might call it a night soon, though.

Are you sure?

Yeah. Don't worry about me, I’m just not used to hanging out with these kinds of people.

What kind?

I don’t know. Quidditch players. Hooligans. It’s not really my scene.

I didn’t know you felt that way.

I didn’t want to spoil your night.

Listen, it’s getting late. I should probably head back.

Okay. Get your coat, I'll settle the bill.

No, it’s fine, I can pay for my drink. Besides, you should stay.

At least let me walk you back.

Stay. I mean it.

Fine, but I’m paying for your drink. And before you say anything, it’s one lousy butterbeer. Consider it compensation for ruining your evening.

You didn’t ruin my evening. I liked the part when we walked here together. I don’t mind this too much either - scribbling on napkins.

Let me walk you back. Please.

Saturday, 10.19 pm, Ravenclaw Dormitories, Hogwarts

What's with the notebook?

Sorry, Ivan's finally passed out and I don't want to wake him. He hasn't been able to sleep all week, can you imagine? It's that stupid Herbology project - y'know, the one that Katie's been simmering those mandrakes for - I swear, he's so tense in the shoulders. I finally got him to nod off after dinner and it just seems cruel to wake him up and make him go allll the way down to his dorm :(

Fine, but Merlin help you when Katie wakes up and finds him still here. I still can't wrap my head around how much he lets you baby him. He's a Slytherin, for God's sake.

Please, he knew what he was getting himself into. If anything, I think the babying might have been a motivating factor. Anyway, how was the party?

Okay, I think. I kissed him. On the cheek.

YOU'RE going to wake Ivan. Have some goddamn self-control.

OH I KNEW ITTT I knew it the moment he walked into Charms class and you looked up and your eyes met and you lost your tongue and when you looked back he had that shy sort of smile I just KNEW he was going to be so good for you. Because he is, Y/N. He might be the best thing that's happened to you.

Gosh, relax. It's not like it meant anything. What's a little friendly peck between friends here and there? I just did it so he wouldn't follow me back to the castle like a lost puppy. Besides, he's not that perfect.

A real human being with real human flaws? You don't say.

It's hard to explain. He's only being this nice because he knows what he's done.

What has he done?

Some pretty hard-to-forgive stuff. I don't want to get into it right now.

Have you?

Have I what?

Forgiven him.

I don't know. I mean, I see him trying to reach out, but every time, even now, with the party - something stops me from...fully connecting. Something holds me back.

I don't think I have.

Monday, 9.13 am, Charms

Did you get back alright?

Yup.

I wanted to come check, but the guys...

I told you they weren't going to let their guest of honour run off. So how was the rest of the night?

Middling. They started up a game of strip poker when we got back.

Oh.

Allegedly, normal poker was too ordinary for a night as special as that.

You're kidding, right?

Oh my fucking god, you gamble??

Who said the poker had anything to do with gambling?

So you don’t gamble?

I didn’t say that.

Theo.

OUCH enough with the pinching! I've already had ten years too many of it.

I can't help that it's the only way to get you to behave.

I don’t see what the problem is. It’s my money to use as I see fit. Plus, I'm very careful about the people I play with. Merlin knows we have too much anyway.

Unbelievable. Gambling, really? Why not just drop out of Hogwarts and live slot machine to slot machine, huh? Why don't you just set up shop at some casino in Las Vegas?

I'm very confused. Do you want to go to Vegas?

You have the attention span of a fruit fly.

Because that's not a half-bad idea. We could make a whole trip out of it over the summer.

Your friends need to introduce you to more legal forms of recreation. What are you doing Wednesday night?

Nothing yet.

Good. I'm teaching you Exploding Snap.

Isn't that a kid's game?

FUCK I'm SORRY but DO NOT pinch me in the same place twice.

Oh, quit whining. You'll live.

Barely. If you keep this up, I'm going to start sitting far far away from you and those PINCERS you call fingers.

Wednesday, 1.02 pm, Potions

I ran into Katie on the way here and Merlin, she was in hysterics. I'm out of the room for one night and I miss you making out with Loverboy in our dorm??? Geez, at least put a sock on the door.

We were not making out!!! Katie just walked in at an unfortunate time.

Uh-huh.

Look, he was the one who showed up at the window on his broom, drunk out of his mind.

Drunk??

I know! What was he thinking, risking his neck all the way up there at the Ravenclaw dorms?? It was like he didn't even notice too. I thought I was hallucinating at first, but then I opened the window and nope, that was him, and then I screamed and he nearly fell off his broom so I hauled him inside. He practically faceplanted on the floor. I was terrified - I thought he was poisoned or something, but then I tried to prop him up and he had this dopey look on his face and he reeked of firewhiskey. Ugh, it was so annoying. I don’t want to talk about it.

You know what he said to me? After all that?

I thought you didn’t want to talk about this?

Uh-oh.

Uh-oh?

Uh-oh. Like a goddamn Looney Tunes character.

Looney Tunes?

Never mind. He was all ‘uh-oh, you’re mad at me’ while I was trying to get him to drink some coffee and I was like yeah, no shit, you look like you’re seconds away from puking all over my dorm. And then he started…he started talking about the party, and me leaving, and how sorry he was he brought me in the first place.

Aww.

I know, right? I felt like crap. I didn’t think it would be such a big deal to him.

Of course it was a big deal. That was him introducing you to his new friends.

Exactly, new friends. What does he want with me?

Y/N, are you daft? Do you not see the way he looks at you? He so clearly cares what you think about his friends.

What on earth are you talking about?

Ivan's on the team so they hang out together sometimes and he says Theo's a lot different around you. He doesn't swear as much, he drops his voice a little and he's extra attentive. Hell, he nearly got into a fight with some dunce in our year over the way that guy was talking about you. Y/N, he obviously cares about you so, so much. Please tell me you didn’t say anything too harsh.

I called the whole lot of them hooligans.

NOOOOO

But t's true!! Have you seen their matches? How they don't rip each other to shreds is beyond me. But I didn't mean that he was like that. Theo could never be like them. He'd play a good, fair, clean game.

Yeah. Sure.

What's that supposed to mean?

You haven't watched a single one of his practices, have you?

No. Should I?

Never mind. What happened next?

That's when things started going downhill. He started trying to remove his shirt because it was so hot from Katie’s blasted simmering pot of mandrakes. I was trying to stop him, only he wasn’t listening, and apparently he gets rather clingy and touchy when he’s, y’know, tipsy, and then…Katie walked in.

Damn.

Of course that's when he decides to sober up, so I look like an idiot while everyone in the room - yes! even him!!! - wants to know what I’m doing in his lap. He was sooooo polite too, as if he hadn’t just rudely breaking-and-entering’d his way into my room. ‘Oh, hello, Y/N. What a tastefully decorated room you have, Y/N. Is there a reason we’re sitting so close, Y/N?’ As if I want to be sitting in his lap!

Right.

Because I don’t.

Okay.

‘Cause that would be so weird.

Mhm.

Like…ew.

Okay, okay. I get it. I believe you.

He wouldn’t even let me get up or anything. Just kept talking to Katie about the weather with his hand on my thigh, casual as ever. I swear, if that teammate of his - what's his name, Mattheo? - hadn't come looking for him, I don't know how I would have gotten him down to his dorm.

What a thriller of a story, from start to finish.

Yeah, well, I could do it with a little less thrill in my life.

Aw, I think it was sweet. That disaster of a party was clearly eating at him.

Yeah. I mean, we're friends. It should bother him if I've had a shitty night, right? But also...we're just friends.

For the record, you're a different person around him too.

Psh. Yeah right.

Different how?

Ivyyyy

Thursday, 3.07 pm, Defence Against the Dark Arts

How’s your hand?

Doing very badly, thank you very much.

I have to say, I didn’t take you to be this sore of a loser.

My fingertips have been singed off. Forgive me if I seem a little sulky.

Aww. Was the kid's game a little too hard for the big, manly, Quidditch player?

You tricked me. You didn't even tell me all of the rules before we started playing.

Oh, come on. You knew enough to play.

But not to win!

Yes, well, I wasn't about to hand you a victory on a silver platter. I thought Slytherins were supposed to be clever, or something. Maybe you're the 'something.'

Yeah, yeah, laugh it up. We'll see who's laughing after next week's chess match.

Does it hurt a lot? Your fingers?

For a lesser man? Perhaps. I think I'm dealing with the pain quite well, actually.

So if we didn't have class, you'd be -?

Writhing on the floor of my dorm.

Ah, I see. Poor baby. Want me to kiss it better?

Promises, promises.

But you still had fun, didn’t you?

It is quite the adrenaline rush.

I knew it.

Alas, my fingertips…

Oh, sod off. You always were the biggest drama queen.

[milunalupin]

— partridge in a pear tree

harry potter x reader ★ 1.3k words

twelve days of nico-mas masterlist

The snow fell softly outside the cozy windows of Godric’s Hollow, blanketing the world in white. Harry stared at the fire crackling in the hearth, his mind drifting back to the moment he had worked up the courage to invite you over for the holidays. He could hardly believe you had said yes.

Harry cleared his throat as he walked up to where you were lounging on one of the sofas in the common room, marking something in the margins of a heavy tome with a quill. Your focus was so intense that you didn’t even notice him for a few seconds.

"Oh, hey, Harry! I was just going through the notes from the last class for our project. Have you found anything useful yet?”

Harry shook his head, suddenly feeling that familiar rush of nerves. Why was this so difficult? He had faced terrifying creatures, dangerous wizards, and even Potions with Snape, but asking you to come over for the holidays? That felt like an entirely different challenge.

“Actually,” he started, rubbing the back of his neck, “I was thinking... since the holidays are coming up... and we’re probably going to need some time to make real progress on this project…” His words tumbled out in a rushed heap, quickly getting distracted by the way the you cutely tilted your head with curiosity.

“I mean, if you’re not doing anything... you could, um, come over to my place. You know, just to work on the project. But also...” He swallowed. “It might be nice to take a break from the usual—just, I don’t know, have a quiet evening. Together.”

You blinked, clearly processing his words, and for a moment, Harry worried you might laugh at him or worse—turn him down flat.

But then you smiled. A smile that reached your eyes, making them shine, and Harry felt a strange warmth in his chest.

“Harry, you okay?” his mother, Lily, called from the kitchen, where she was preparing a feast fit for a family of wizards. James, with his trademark grin, was setting the table, glancing at Harry with a knowing look.

“Yeah, just… thinking about the project,” he replied, shifting in his seat and not so subtly wiping his clammy palms on his jeans. Truth was, he was thinking about you. His Herbology partner, who never failed to make him blush and whose eyes lit up when you talked about a new muggle invention you've learned about, or your favorite constellations—it sent pixies racing through his stomach.

Lily exchanged a quick glance with James, both trying to suppress their amusement. They had watched Harry grow up, but they had never seen him quite so nervous around anyone. Soon, the doorbell rang, and Harry’s heart raced. He shot up from his seat, smoothing down his sweater as if that would somehow make him less awkward. “I’ll get it!”

As he opened the door, the cold air rushed in, and there you stood, bundled in a puffy coat with a bright smile on your face. “Hi, Harry!” you greeted, cheeks flushed from the chill despite the thick burgundy scarf wrapped around your head.

“Hey! Come in!” He stepped aside, trying to appear casual, but his heart pounded.

You walked in, and the warmth of the house enveloped you. Harry took your coat and scarf, and you sighed as you took in the smell of fireplace and winter spices.

James greeted you cheerfully while Lily apologized for not being able to step away from the stove, but Harry felt his father's eyes on him, silently teasing. He pretended to ignore him, leading you to the living room, where a small table was set up with various herbology texts sprawled open.

“So, what do you think we should focus on for our project?” you asked, pulling up a chair.

“Um, I was thinking… maybe we could look at the properties of… um, Mandrakes?” He stumbled over his words, his cheeks flushing. Why was it so hard to talk to you?

You smiled encouragingly. “That sounds great! I read something about their healing properties. It could be interesting to explore.”

As the two of you dove into the project, the initial awkwardness began to fade. Harry felt more at ease, especially when he caught you glancing at him with an approving look. It made his heart race again, but this time in a pleasant way.

Lily peeked into the room, her heart warmed by the sight. “Dinner’s almost ready!” she announced, glancing pointedly at Harry with a smirk.

“Thanks, Mum!” he replied quickly, not meeting your gaze.

As the evening progressed, the conversation flowed easily. You both discussed herbology, sharing laughs over some of the more bizarre plants in Professor Sprout’s class. Harry even began to relax, letting his playful side show.

“Dinner’s ready!” Lily called out, her voice warm and inviting.

The soft clink of plates and silverware filled the air as Harry and you settled down at the long wooden dining table. Lily had outdone herself with a spread of hearty dishes—roast potatoes, Yorkshire puddings, and a steaming roast chicken that filled the room with its mouthwatering aroma. James grinned from ear to ear, clearly pleased with how everything had turned out.

Harry gestured for you to sit first, his hands slightly clammy as he pulled out the chair for you. You flashed him a grateful smile, settling into the seat across from him. As he sat down, his gaze briefly flickered to his parents, who were exchanging amused glances from either end of the table.

“Everything smells amazing, Mrs. Potter,” you said, a touch of awe in your voice.

Lily waved her hand dismissively. “Call me Lily, dear. It’s no trouble at all. We’re just glad you could join us.”

James piped up, his eyes twinkling with mischief. “Yeah, Harry doesn’t invite just anyone over. We’re honored, really.”

After dinner, Lily suggested a game of Wizard’s Chess. James immediately jumped in, clearly excited to show off his skills. Harry invited you to join, and to his delight, you accepted.

You took a seat next to him, and as you played, Harry couldn’t help but steal glances at you. You were focused, tongue peeking out of the corner of your mouth as you concentrated on the board. He felt a surge of admiration and… is this what falling in love is like? He'd have to ask his father later.

“Checkmate!” you exclaimed triumphantly, and Harry couldn’t help but laugh. “I think you let me win."

“Not a chance! I just underestimated your strategy,” he countered, a playful spark in his eyes.

As the evening wound down, you both moved to the couch, cups of hot cocoa in hand and a tray of freshly baked pear tartlets—your favorite. The fire crackled, casting a warm glow around the room. The conversation turned softer, the laughter lingering in the air like a spell.

“I’m really glad I came,” you said, your gaze meeting his, and for a moment, the world outside faded away.

“Me too,” Harry replied, his voice barely above a whisper. He felt a rush of courage. “I’ve always enjoyed working with you. You make it fun.”

You smiled, a blush creeping to your cheeks. “I feel the same way. I like spending time with you, Harry.”

His heart raced again, this time not from awkwardness, but from the warmth blooming in his chest. “Maybe we can hang out some other time, too? After the holidays?”

“I’d love that,” you said, your eyes sparkling.

Just then, James peeked in, unable to hold back his amusement any longer. “Hey, lovebirds! How’s the project going?”

Harry’s face turned crimson, and he shot a glare at his father. You both burst into laughter, the tension breaking as James continued to tease. But as you sat there, Harry realized that he didn’t mind the teasing. Being next to you felt right, and he couldn’t wait to see where this budding connection might lead. The magic of the holidays was just beginning, and he hoped it would lead to something special.

— taglist ♥︎

@willowlovestheweasleys