#man woke up and dive straight into work

[scarameownya]

wanderer casually mentioned if niko wanted to eat anywhere and niko sit up in panic realizing he forgot to eat at all today

[kinardscake]

Tommy came to the hospital straight from work, took care of Buck all evening, stayed the night and then woke up earlier to take care of Buck in the morning.

Came to the hospital again, for Hen and to support Buck.

Dressed up for a mummy funeral - eulogy reading memorial service with his eyes all heart shaped while looking at his boyfriend.

Did I also mention he listened to Buck while he shared all the info from his late night deep dive research session?

If Buck doesn’t marry that man, I will

[swtt4hk]

Be mine || Cho Sang-woo x fem!Foreign Reader! (Oneshot) {fluff}

requested by: @sensationallysangwoo

warnings: mentions of suicide

You had recently moved to South Korea from your home country. Things were pretty hard at first and fitting into a completely different country , with different culture and language was a really big step to take in your life. You had moved there to make a new start , meet new people and explore new places after experiencing some traumatic things in your life.

Your past is dark. Your mother abandoned you and your father when you were just a year old and your dad was forced to raise you on his own. Your dad was working multiple jobs to make as much money as he could and still managed to spend a lot of quality time with you. Unfortunately, when you were at the age of 11 he died in a car crash and you were forced to live with your aunt , who wasn’t exactly the best parent. She was a mean person and even though you had told her that you don’t feel comfortable mentioning your parents , she brought them up everytime you fought and told you that you deserved everything you went through. All this caused you to dive into depression and by the age of 14 , you had tried to kill yourself multiple times.

By the time you turned 16 , you moved out and moved in with your best friend , Keira. Moving in with Keira was the best decision you had ever made in your life. She had been your best friend since you were kids and she always had a way to make you smile. When you turned eighteen, Keira moved to another country with her boyfriend which resulted you being alone again. So you decided to take a big step in your life and move to another country. You worked your ass off for a year straight and decided to move to Korea , since you had heard a lot of good things about the country.

Moving there really was a great idea. Sure , it was difficult at first but things have become easier for you except for one thing…the Korean language. You had never been good with learning new things , especially new languages , so you had a pretty tough time communicating with people there. It hurt you a lot not being able to communicate with other Koreans , especially with a specific person…Cho Sang-woo.

You and Sang-woo had met at a cafe which you regularly went to. He is a handsome man , a little bit older than you but still really attractive. He has manners , he is smart and always chooses with words wisely before speaking. He’s everything that you were looking for. You both flirted a lot but it was never something serious , even though you both felt the strong connection between you.

Even though you guys clicked immediately and had a strong bond , the language barrier between you two was frustrating. You often misunderstood what each other said and sometimes you even had to use translating apps to have a conversation.

Sang-woo liked you a lot. From the first time he saw you , sitting on the cafe table , enjoying your coffee and admiring the view , he knew he had to talk to you. It was like something inside him knew he had to be yours. He often tried to give you signs about him liking you but you either took it as a joke or didn’t understand what he had tried to say. But he still tried. He even started taking lessons on your native language to manage to get you to understand that he loves you and wants you to officially be his.

After weeks of practicing, we woke up and decided it was time. He was going to confess his feelings to you. He was a 100% that he was ready to take that big step into your guys’ relationship. He invited you over to his place to “hang out” and you happily agreed to do it.

Clueless about what was going to happen , you wore a new skirt that you got , a sparkly top and high heels which made your legs seem beautiful and long. As soon as he opened the door and saw you standing in front of his door , looking as beautiful as ever , he was reassured that he NEEDED to confess to you. It was now or never.

The whole night , he tried to be closer to you , touch you more to see your reaction and you seemed unbothered by it. You really didn’t mind. You actually liked when Sang-woo was close to you or touch your arm or leg. It made you feel butterflies in your stomach but didn’t allow yourself to show it. You couldn’t. You thought you don’t deserve to be loved by someone like Sang-woo and besides , you thought he didn’t feel the same.

As the clock struck 11pm , he decided that it was time. He was about to confess. You finished your conversation, followed by a comfortable silence and he broke it.

—Y/N , can I ask you something?

—of course , what’s up?

he thought a lot before speaking. He had to choose his words wisely and use the right words to express himself correctly so there are not any misunderstandings.

—Do you like stars?

you found the question a little weird but you liked it. No one had ever asked you that.

—like the stars in the sky?

—yes , the stars in the sky.

—uhh…yeah I do like them a lot!

Sang-woo smiles to himself and looks at you deep in the eye before speaking , which made your stomach flip.

—the stars in the sky con-contain important information about the physics of the Universe and they sym…uhh…symphonise?

you chuckle , finding his little mistake cute

—do you mean symbolise?

—oh yeah! Symbolise! The stars in the sky symbolise positivity and happiness , right?

—yeah I think you’re right…but why are you saying all that? I already know that about the stars.

Sang-woo takes a deep breath before continuing

—you…you are my star.

You are both surprised and confused by what he said. “What does he mean by saying that I’m his star?”

—what do you mean?

Sang-woo smiles and slowly places his hand on top of yours.

—we are friends and you know information about me just like stars do for the Universe. Also stars symbolise happiness and you…you are my happiness.

Sang-woo says nervously , waiting for your reaction. You smile and caress his hand , clear that you haven’t understood what he means.

—awww thank you , Sang-woo , that’s such a cute compliment!

He sighs and looks away in frustration. He really wants you to understand that he wants you. He grabs your chin , forcing you to look at him.

—y/n , can you understand me? I need to tell you something important!

—y-yes! What is it?

—I…

He sighs again and his grip on your chin loosens and he caresses it with his thumbs , making your heart race.

—you…you are my star. You bring me happiness and I don’t just want to be the Universe. I want to be…uhh…something more. I want to be important to you and…make you mine. I want to make you happy and I want to be more than just your friend.

He says loud and clear but still nervous. You look at him in the eyes , clearly shocked by the way he expressed himself but you still understood what he meant. He wants to be yours. He wants to…be your boyfriend. You smile and caress his cheek with one hand and his hand with the other one.

—of course…of course I’ll be your girlfriend, your universe and anything else you want , Sang-woo.

Sang-woo looks at you shocked. You finally understood. All of this hard work finally paid off. A wide smile spread on his face and wraps his arms around you , hugging you tightly.

—thank you…thank you so much y/n…

You smile warmly and hug him back

—no…thank YOU. Thank you for trying your best to learn my language and confess your feelings to me. And sorry for not understanding earlier…

Sang-woo places a soft kiss on your cheek and hugs you tightly. He doesn’t ever want to let go now that you are finally his. Not after he studied hard , despite his age. This proves that people are allowed to live each other even if they don’t speak the same language and if someone really loves you , they’ll do anything for you.

———————————————————————

The end! Thank you so much @sensationallysangwoo for requesting this and I’m sorry for writing this like 2 weeks after you requested it…anyway , my requests are open and you all can request anything at any time! More fics coming soon!

taglist: @chosangwooswife

[namluvili]

twisted love (2)

Shit can always get complicated when you come face to face with a vampire, but you don't expect for things to take a wild turn with him.

f!reader x vampire!namjoon

this is part 2 of this story, read part one here

Word count: 739; sorry its short, I've been drinking :p

i made a playlist for this story, it helped me set the mood and write it.https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6oZbET8eNOt0kkRdpPTkNC?si=d804f3ee68394597

warning(s): slight k!ssing, Joon is stalkerish? little intimate moments, Joon is a vampire, so expect for him to want to have bl00d (no there isn't any blood play, that's disgusting.) Joon is whipped, tad bit of smut.

You woke up the next day, not even remembering what happened. You felt very sick, looking pale and your lips felt heavy and numb. Luckily, today was Saturday, so you didn't have to work at all. you got changed into more comfortable clothes and got some food out of the fridge. As you pulled out the food, a sticky note fell off from your admirer. You picked it up and it said, "I'm sure you don't feel well princess, the other stuff i put in here should help you feel better." You slowly opened the container, and their was soup on the side, with a little bit of vegetables.

You heated up what he had in store for you and slowly put your spoon to pick up the soup and tasted it, and oh my god, it tasted like straight hell. it was disgusting. this dude could not cook to save his life. You don't even remember who this guy was, let alone when he came over. That's the thing about vampires, you don't remember them at all.

You kept eating the food, because damn he was right. it helped you feel 100x better. Once you were up and ready again, you forgot you had to run to the store today. You put your shoes on, and headed out the door.

At the store, you had to grab eggs, bread, and chips. nothing else. Making your way down the chips isle, you feel as if something else is watching you. you look behind you, and there he is. Kim fucking Namjoon. you look at him in the eyes and he licks his lips coming up to you. "Well, i see someone is feeling better." he says quietly.

Why aren't you running? why aren't you scared? you should be dashing your way out and getting help. Did he really have this much of impact on you? Hes a fucking vampire, not a human. But, when you do walk away, he grabs you by the arm and twirls you around so your in his arms. "Where do you think your going Y/N? I told you this wasn't over, based on the way you were acting last night."

You want to kiss him. You want to give your whole body and soul to this man. By the way he just looks at you with his dimple smile and fangs shining. But wait? Aren't vampires not supposed to be in the sunlight? Something was weird about him.

"come on, follow me. i have something to show you. don't worry about the food, ill make sure you still get what you need". "Namjoon, i cant do this. I'm supposed to be running and screaming, why cant i? what the fuck have you done to me?"

he looks at you with this look on his face, and it doesn't look good, its full of hunger and lust. He guides you to the bathroom and tuns you to face him. "Don't, worry about what i did, you'll see in a few days love." He quickly says before he dives in to kiss you.

You cant even fight back, as soon as you saw this, thing. You wanted nothing more but to have yourself underneath him.

He makes his way up your shirt, noticing your not wearing a bra. "Oh really baby? Not wearing a bra? its like you were begging for me to just see you." he pressed his body against you, you can feel his length pushing against your leg. Hes so desperate for you that you can almost laugh. He goes towards your neck, just kissing it, making you squirm underneath him.

He slowly takes your pants off seeing your underwear and having the urge to rip them off of your body. He spreads your legs open slowly and sees the little damp part on your underwear, "hmm.. looks like someone was more then ready to see me." he says as he dives into between your legs.

As he's licking and eating away, you don't feel his fangs, its weird because he's a vampire right? but maybe falling in love with you was the best thing that's ever happened to him.

right before you finish, he peaks his head up because you have a look on your face that says something other then happiness.

you look down at him into his eyes and you say,

"J-joon, I cant do this, your not human."

[zorosangell]

⛥ﾟ・。 protector: chapter sixteen

synopsis: " you were supposed to stay a crewate, just another back to watch, " he tightened his hold, " i didn't even notice the change until i woke up one day and realized i'd take a bullet for you "

cw: violence, gore, fighting, mature themes, profanity, MAJOR/MINOR ANIME SPOILERS, follows the plot of the anime, slowww burn.

a/n: reposting from another account

After talking to the princess and finding out why she went undercover within Baroque Works, she accidentally spilled the beans about the secret identity of the company's boss.

Which put you, Luffy, and Zoro at the top of Baroque Works hit list.

Igara-guy tried to buy you all some time to escape by posing as Vivi and boarding a ship on a course straight to Alabasta, but it was blown up the second it left the dock.

You, Luffy, Zoro, and Nami managed to grab everyone, including the princess and her duck, and escape from the island.

Though once you got a good ways away, a woman, who Vivi identified as Ms. All-Sunday, somehow snuck onto the Merry and tried to make a deal with an eternal pose that led to an island not too far from Alabasta.

Vivi was about to accept but Luffy didn't like how she blew up Igara-guy and crushed it, kicking her off the ship.

So now here you were, docked on an island called Little Garden.

An island that Ms. All-Sunday predicted would be the death of all of you.

"Damn! Can't get a lick of sleep around here!" you exclaimed, jolting up from your spot in the crow's nest at the 50th earthquake of the hour. 

Everyone else decided to explore Little Garden, and you just wanted to catch up on the sleep you lost from Whiskey Peak. 

But for the past two hours there was nothing but earthquakes on the stupid island.

"Whatever. Might as well do a quick fly over," you groaned, standing up and stretching your arms, unfurling your wings.

"I wonder what everyone else has been up to."

You took off flying, soaring just a little bit above the treeline.

'The air here seems so fresh.'

You smiled as you held out your arms, barrel rolling in mid-air.

Looking down, you saw that you had made it past the forest area, and where now flying over a clearing.

Which, surprisingly, had two unconscious giants laying in it, four Baroque works agents, and three of your friends trapped on this spinning wax candle-cake contraption.

'Never a dull moment.'

You noticed that the Booger Guy from Whiskey Peak was aiming on of his bombs at the giant, and quickly took action.

You dived-bombed for the man, roughly landing on his back and using your foot to pin his head to the ground.

"I try to take a nap and everything goes to hell," you sighed, pinching the bridge of your nose.

"(Y/N)! We're saved!" Nami cried, relieved.

"Can someone give me a quick catch up? What's with the giants?" tou asked.

"Dorry and Broggy are warriors from an island called Elbalf and have been dueling here for over a hundred years! But Mr. 3 interfered with their duel and Broggy killed Dorry unknowingly," Vivi quickly explained.

'Wait... Elbaf?'

"We got captured and are now slowly turning into wax statues 'cause of this flaky stuff falling from the spinning thing," Zoro added, pointing up to the spinning head of the wax cake. 

"Can't you cut yourself out?" you asked, cocking a brow.

"This stuff is as hard as steel. And I can't put much power behind my swing in this stance," he answered.

"Well then—" "You think I'm just gonna let you plan your escape right in front of me?! Think again! Ten thousand kilogram press!" the Blonde woman interrupted, suddenly falling from the sky like a boulder.

You quickly rolled off the Booger man and dove out the way, allowing her to crush him instead.

"Wax Wax Lock!" a man, who you assumed to be Mr. 3, shouted, shooting wax at you from this hands.

You quickly shot into the sky, dodging the attack and turning around.

"Heavenward Stomp!" you exclaimed, dive-bombing for the creepy man.

You wound up your mace and were about to bring it down on his head when he suddenly turned into a puddle of wax, making you slam your weapon into the puddle and get it stuck.

"The hell?!" you exclaimed, yanking at the handle with all your strength.

But it wouldn't budge.

"(Y/N), LOOK OUT!" Zoro, Nami, and Vivi shouted in unison, you quickly whipping around to see the trouble.

"Wax Wax Lock!" Mr. 3 shouted, binding your wings together so you couldn't fly.

'Crap!'

You did a front handspring, using the time your feet were in the air to kick the man in the face, sending him flying back.

But not before he shot some more wax at you and bound your feet, trapping them to the ground once you landed.

'Double crap!'

"Dammit! I can't move," you hissed, trying to wriggle free.

"That is the power of the Wax Wax fruit, you impudent girl," Mr. 3 smirked, getting up from his spot laid out on the floor.

"Now you get to watch as your friends turn into wax statues right before your eyes!"

You turned to the three stuck on the wax cake, Nami and Vivi's breathing labored as they coughed through the thick cloud of wax particles that had settled around them. 

'I gotta find a way to get myself outta here!'

"Giant, you can still move, right?" Zoro called, turning to Broggy, who was all tears as he mourned the death of his friend.

The giant was surprised, and the sound of his sobs ceased.

"Good. I can, too. And I don't know about you, but I wanna bust outta here," he smirked, drawing two of his swords from their sheaths, his usual determined look in his eye.

"Zoro..." you stated, almost like warning as he held them in a swinging position.

"What the—?! What the hell are you doing?!" Nami exclaimed, eyes wide.

"He's insane," Vivi mumbled to herself, looking down.

"Quit messing around! I know you're not thinking about cutting your own legs off!" Nami shouted once more.

"I'm not messing around at all. It's the only way to get us out of this situation," he stated plainly.

"You in or out?"

"Hold it, Zoro! I can almost reach my mace! Just wait—!" you strained, trying your hardest to reach the handle of your weapon, your stretching against the wax no doubt tearing a bit of the skin on your ankles.

But you didn't care. 

Hell, you didn't even feel it.

There was no way you were gonna let that man cut off his feet.

But sadly, you still couldn't reach it. 

You were only a hair's distance away, but still not nearly close enough.

"We're running out of time," Zoro stated, winding up his swords. 

"Get ready, giant."

"Dammit!" you scolded yourself, still straining to reach.

"Zoro, no!" Nami shouted, the sound of skin slicing echoing throughout the clearing.

But it was cut off halfway by the shouts of Karoo, Luffy, and Usopp, who burst out from the jungle and crashed into a bunch of trees.

"WHEN I GET BACK I'M GONNA KICK YOUR ASS!" Luffy shouted as he flew, splintering the poor tree he landed on into a million pieces.

"LUFFY!" Vivi and Nami happily shouted.

"ZORO! Your feet!" you exclaimed, quickly turning to the swordsman.

"Yeah, I'd say I got about halfway through," he smiled, looking down as his blood trickled over the wax.

"THAT'S NOT SOMETHING TO SMILE ABOUT!"

Just then, Luffy ran over and got his ankles locked by the Wax guy.

He grabbed onto a horn on Broggy's helmet and swirled around so much he knocked into the wax cake, knocking off the headpiece.

Only now it landed even closer to the three.

"THAT DIDN'T HELP!" Nami and Vivi shouted.

'DAMMIT I GOTTA GET FREE!'

"One more stretch, (y/n)! C'mon!" you scolded yourself, giving one more big push. 

You made it. 

You managed to grab onto the handle of your mace.

"Yes! Now... Strength of the Gods!"

Suddenly, your strength increased tenfold and you were able to break your mace out of the wax, using your feet to break out of your own wax lock to the ground.

"Alright!" you cheered, happily.

"(Y/N)! WATCH BEHIND YOU!" Zoro warned, you responding by forward flipping without even knowing the danger.

You trusted him.

Turning around, you saw that it was some girl with a paintbrush.

"She messed with Luffy and now he won't save us!" Vivi shouted.

You took a quick glance to see that he was sitting on a picnic blanket, drinking tea and eating rice crackers.

"It's always something," you grumbled, dodging another one of her paint splatters.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Usopp exclaimed, running back into the clearing on Karoo's back.

"USOPP! I need you to help Luffy! I'll take care of the kid!" you exclaimed.

"On it!" he nodded, changing direction.

Quickly, you tossed your mace at the kid at full-speed, knocking the paint palette out of her hands.

"Huh?!" she exclaimed, wide eyed.

"Go to sleep now, kid. You've caused enough trouble," you spat, flying over and smacking her upside the head, knocking her out.

Turning around, you noticed that Usopp managed to wake up Luffy, and the both of them set the Wax Cake on fire, freeing Zoro and the girls enough so they could save Usopp from getting his head chopped off.

"That was hot! You couldn't have come up with something else!" Nami scolded.

"Can't you be at least a little bit grateful! That was hard!" Usopp fired back.

"I can't believe it. We're alive," Vivi stated, looking down at her wax-free hand.

Suddenly, the Booger guy grabbed Usopp holding him in a headlock.

"Now it's time for a full body explosion!" he shouted.

"Crap! USOPP!" you exclaimed, zipping off to try and reach him in time.

"NO! PLEASE! I'M TOO YOUNG TO DIE!" Usopp cried.

"FLAMING ONIGIRI!" a familiar voice shouted, bursting from the flames and cutting up the Booger guy.

And setting him on fire.

"Zoro," you smiled, the pit in your stomach finally lifting.

You were really worried for him. 

Broggy slammed his hand down on the ground, standing up with a smile.

"Hey, giant. Glad to see you're alive."

That's when you remembered.

"Zoro, your legs," you reminded, holding Zoro's shoulders still to get a good look.

"Stop worryin' about me. You messed up your feet pretty bad, too," he noticed.

You looked down to see that you tore off huge hunks of skin on your ankles and feet from your straining.

"Damn. I didn't even no—" Suddenly, your legs gave out, but the swordsman caught you easily.

"Huh. What happened?" He asked, his concern showing clearly in his tone.

"It's... Strength of the Gods. It gives me ten times my strength... for ten minutes. But when that's up... my strength in shot," you groaned.

He sighed, "Just rest for now. You've done more than enough."

"No I haven't," you quickly snapped, sniffling.

Zoro cocked a brow.

"If I had just been stronger, if I hadn't taken so long to reach my mace, you wouldn't have had to cut yourself. I was too weak when it really counted. How am I supposed to kill—" You paused, trying to wipe to glossiness from your eyes.

"How am I supposed to find Doflamingo if I'm not strong enough?"

The man paused, allowing your words to sink in before he spoke up again.

"That depends... What are you gonna do about it?" he asked.

You were surprised.

'What am I gonna do about it?'

Your face turned serious.

"I'm gonna train harder," you answered, looking up at him determinedly.

He smirked.

"Alright then. We start tomorrow," he smiled.

A strong blush managed to grow on your cheeks, spreading up to the tips of your ears.

"Yeah... tomorrow," you smiled back, allowing your eyes to flutter shut.

[twistedwonderlandimaginesblog]

⚔️On Love: Silver Edition⚔️

You had simply been minding your business when two little birds crossed your path.

Your eyes followed the pair twirling around each other, their silvery wings shimmering in the warm sunlight. You couldn’t pinpoint what type of bird they were but they were pretty little things, probably enjoying the fresh spring air now that the frigid winter had come and gone. You’re a little startled when they keep diving at your head, never quite making contact but still vaguely intimidating as you didn’t know what you had done wrong.

The forest path had many trees, so perhaps you had stumbled too close to a nest? Or perhaps their nest had fallen from a tree and they were asking for help? Ever since you’d begun dating Silver he had told you that animals can talk in more ways than one if you’re willing to listen, and while it sounded like odd advice, you supposed the birds were just trying to get something across. They seemed to understand that you were paying them proper attention now like they were a glowing objective marker, heading off path into a deeper part of the woods.

While this is how most fairy tales began you had a moment of hesitation as not all of those tales had happy endings, but then again, not all of those people had magic at their fingertips. You brushed off the nagging that this might be a bad idea and followed after your twittering harassers, finding they were fast but were clearly keeping an eye on you as they never wandered too far ahead.

They led you to a clearing that had a few more animals, a little family of deer grazing off to the side, sparing you barely a glance as they went about their business. There were birds singing in trees and squirrels skittering across the ground, one particularly fat one running up to a form slumped against a tree and snatching some food straight from their hands.

It seemed Silver had taken an impromptu nap while in the middle of snacking, an unsurprising sight but you still felt a little sorry for him as the squirrel made off with his meal. One of the birds sat on his head as if to say ‘ta-da!’, taking flight as you leaned down to brush Silver’s hair out off his face.

Sometimes Silvers dreams felt too real.

At first your touch was never quite there, like a ghost brushing against him, something he could easily assume was the wind. But the closer he had gotten to you, when he truly got to experience the things he had only dreamed of before, his dreams had gotten more real. He could feel the weight of your hand on his, he could feel your hands resting on his back as you hugged him in greeting; he still thought the feeling of your lips against his could be compared to a feather lightly brushing against them.

He let out a little mumble at first, overwhelmed by the thought of you, not at all surprised when he woke up to see you looking down at him fondly. It still felt like a dream, the sleepiness having not worn off quite yet, and he feels that his heart is about to overflow. You were so beautiful, so wonderful, such a sudden strike of lightning that had struck him and turned him into a new person. A stronger person.

A man in love.

“…I love you…” He mumbled, reaching up to touch your face; he felt the softness of your skin and sighed, envious that this was only a dream even if it did feel real. He hadn’t gotten to see you that day as he left to train before you had risen, and he knew once he woke up properly, he would be heading straight to you. “I’ll come see you… soon…”

“Why not right now?” You teased, mirroring his movement and cupping his cheek with your hand. “I’m right here in front of you, you know?”

“…Eh?” Silver pulled his body up into a sitting position, eyes glancing around the meadow that he had stumbled upon his travels. It took him a moment to work it out, to rub his eyes and realize what was happening around him was real. It was disconcerting how he could get lost in dreams but the longer you touched him, the more real you became, and the more he realized that his words were said out loud to ears that could actually hear him.

The pink that dusted his cheek was a rare sight but a welcome one, leaving you unable to hide your smile. You were willing to just give him a pass on this one as he had clearly been half-awake but you see a certain determination set in his eyes. His hand removed itself from your face and reached up to hold your hand on his, leaning into the touch as he closed his eyes once more.

“I love you,” Silver said again, but in a much less dreamy way; he was confessing to the person he knew was real, not the dream version of you.

“I love you, too, and the beautiful places you seem to make your bed. Are you hungry?”

His stomach grumbled and he looked to the side, remembering that he had only stopped because he needed sustenance to continue on. There’s nothing beside him yet his empty stomach told him he hadn’t eaten it… You pointed up and Silver’s eyes followed, the fat squirrel still munching away unashamedly.

“Luckily, I have food at my place, if you can walk a little farther.”

“I can.” You helped Silver stand, brushing the dirt off his pants and gathering his sword before he turned to you expectantly. You hooked arms with him, pointing to the entrance you had used and leading him back to your home for a nice warm meal that will hopefully stave off his sleepiness for some time.

The two little birds who had led you to your lover sat next to each other on a branch, tucked together, watching as you went.

[nivtee]

i NEED a part two to falling girlie

: ̗̀➛ WOKE UP. sirius black.

sirius black x gn!reader

angst ! mention of coma ! happy ending ! description of medical technology ! yes, hogwarts has phones now !

sirius black can't sleep without you, so he doesn't

sirius black hasn't slept in four days.

staring at your body, lifeless, laying in the hospital bed with tubes in your mouth and nose, it hurt- no, it killed him to sit and watch. but he couldn't just go back to hogwarts, sleep it off and wake up.

as much as he wanted to, he feared that if he fell asleep he'd believe it was all a dream, and he'd imagine you waking him up from a nightmare where you couldn't breathe without muggle technology, where your limbs had to be rebroken to lay straight, where your lungs didn't work.

he was afraid of waking up from that reality just as bad as he was afraid of you not waking up.

he'd seen you cast the spell, falling towards the ground, and he'd watched your body slow down but not fast enough, hearing the sickening CRACK from all the way in the astronomy tower.

he'd almost pushed those fuckers off the side himself.

furiously rubbing his face with a wash cloth, he glanced at himself in the mirror. he kept himself clean, yes, he couldn't imagine you waking up to a version of him you found unattractive, and he made sure that he styled his hair the way you liked, with a man bun and your wand wrapped tightly in his hair.

maybe you'd need it when you woke up, so he kept it for you.

he also kept your textbooks by your side, he knew how badly you'd cry if you couldn't finish your homework, and he'd made sure to get your homework from your friends, your teachers, hell- he'd even asked Dumbledore to owl any homework you had to St Mungos, just in case you woke up.

he'd put all of the letters you'd received, 'get well soon' and 'champion of the diving squad (courtesy of james potter, everyone) up in a nice pile on your bed side table, so that when you woke up, you'd be able to grab them and read them all again.

after two weeks, he was starting to get worried. he started sleeping, only with a sleeping drought every night, and only if he had seen you during the day.

you never moved, exactly the same position when he'd arrive the next day.

you lost weight, despite the feeding tube you were given you had become somewhat gaunt, him being able to feel through your hip when he hugged you goodbye.

he left a few snacks in your bed side draw, incase you woke up and needed something to eat, so he'd stocked it with everything you could want.

he still got you a birthday present, and a valentines day gift, and he still spoke to you about everything that happened during his day. you'd respond when you woke up.

even when he couldn't be with you, he'd sent you funny texts and memes he found during the day, smiling to himself when he imagined you reading through them once you were awake.

he'd stopped visiting for a week, exams were approaching and he knew that once you woke up and found out he'd failed because he was stuck to your side, you'd go balistic.

and then one day, he's visiting again, with a fresh new bouquet of flowers and freshly styled hair, still just as nervous when he first met you.

he waved hello to the nurses, winked at the kids running past and walked into your room like he owned the place, like he did when you were asleep. only...

"i was wondering when you were gonna replace my flowers, these are starting to smell like you."

you woke up.

[drawing-way-outside-the-lines]

➖ Mature content, 18+ ➖ check the trigger tags each time ➖      

Chapter 48 - Wedding Nights And Babies. Episode 3.

-----River's house------

Jackall: I guess that goofy look on your face means you definitely are doing it by now… good for you! I hear he's very big, and very capable of driving his stick he smiled cheekily

Evan: I felt myself blush Who told? I grunted as I realized only one could have told stories like that Daniel…

Jackall: Chuckled deeply Who else? He sipped his beer and nodded at me So, you're really deep in love huh?

River: Sighed deeply from somewhere inside his own world

Evan: I'm not sure River wants to hear about this?

Jackall: Oh no… the love part he doesn't care about… it's the sex part that makes him… weird…

River: Grunted I really don't care Jackall

Jackall: See he pointed at River and chuckled so you are in love with Congo, right? And here I mean like really deeply in love, not just high school girl in love…

Evan: I nodded softly Yes Jackall… I am I sipped my coffee and hoped no more questions would follow

Jackall: And he is in love with you just as much?

Evan: I groaned deeply I guess so…

Jackall: So what are you doing here among the roaches?

Lily: Hey man! I'm here too you know… I'm a bit offended I have to say she chuckled softly

Jackall: Laughed loudly If you out of free will can live here… in this mess… and not be bothered by it, it must mean you're just as fucked as the rest of the residents of this household. So yes, you my dear pretty girl, are a roach too.

Evan: I chuckled softly and sipped my coffee, and observed River who seemingly now had gotten lost in a track on the record that had been playing the last 30 minutes

River: Hm… he tilted his head and looked at the record player, contemplating something no… He slowly got up I don't care much for this track. He slowly made his way to the record player and skipped the song, nodding agreeing as the next track started playing: ffffffffff bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbzaaaa` He quickly made his way to Lily, reaching his hand towards her Dance with me, me lady.

Lily: She chuckled softly, grabbed his hand, and together they made it to the middle of the floor. Dancing together, getting lost in the music. I was kinda relieved they knew they were siblings, cause the way they were dancing was borderline incest. Strange for someone like River. The least sexual person I know. But somehow, they made it work. Maybe because it after all wasn't sexual at all.

Evan: I grabbed my phone in front of me and saw it had died, grunting softly

Jackall: What?

Evan: I sighed softly My phone has died… which means Congo probably is worried sick by now. Can I borrow your phone, just to check Facebook?

Jackall: Sure he pushed his phone over the table

Evan: Yes, as I feared Congo had left a worried message on my wall. I rubbed my forehead gently

Jackall: Evan… it's fairly simple. You need space. Time to digest. But you also need him. Them. Go home. Figure it out. You're not gonna figure it out by sitting here starring at River doing whatever it is River does. Us… you don't really need to figure us out. There's not much to figure really. We are both broken in each our way, and so are you. So is everyone. We will be here when you have the energy for us. Go home and figure the other stuff first. Be there for Andy, and let Congo be there for you. And dare to dive some more into it. I'm sure you wont regret. He sounds like a great match for you. So what the hell are you doing here, on this dirty kitchen chair? Go home, Evan!

Evan: Not the greatest peptalk ever, but it woke something in me. I got up from the chair fast, smiled at him, and ran out the door. Quickly got up on my bike, and within 10 minutes I was driving up our mountain, smiling bright as I turned the corner leading straight to our house, seeing it become bigger and bigger as I got closer. My heart was pounding fast. I had to be with him. Right now. The love for him was pounding through my veins, making me chuckle behind my helmet. And then, ice. It came so fast I didn't get to react. I just felt the bike disappear under me, as I was sent gliding over the road. A loud bump was all I heard, as my bike crashed into the garage door, then my eyes were turned towards the dark night sky above me, white gentle snowflakes floating towards my face

Congo: EVAN!!!

Evan: I heard his footsteps pound the ground as he ran towards me and kneeled down next to my face

Congo: Are you okay? his voice was terrified and I heard him sniffle his nose as he slipped a hand under my back head

Evan: I nodded softly as I looked up at him

Congo: Can you move?

Evan: Yeah I nodded again and felt tears in my eyes

Congo: Are you in pain?

Evan: I shook my head lightly and grabbed on to his upper arms as I dragged myself up to sit No… I chuckled nervously and looked around for my helmet that had come off in the fall I landed pretty soft I padded my hand on the snow beneath me

Congo: You gave us quite a scare! You sure you aren't hurt? Are you dizzy?

Evan: No… I'm fine….

Congo: He placed his hands on my cheeks and planted a loving kiss on my forehead I was so worried about you! Where have you been?? I'm so sorry if I pushed you too far. Maybe if we just..

Evan: I sobbed loudly as my nerves from the crash hit me, pressing my face against Congo's chest I'm sorry! I'm so fucking sorry I left you here to worry! I don't know why I left! I can't even remember what we argued about! It was so fucking stupid! I'm just so stressed out! I feel I have no time to catch up with everything! I feel drained and weak. I feel so tired I could sleep for weeks! I'm so happy and thankful for the babies, but I can't even enjoy it! I'm so scared! I want them so much, but at the same time it terrifies me we don't know when they will arrive… I just I coughed as my sobbing got worse

Congo: Shhh shhh he wrapped his arms around me tight Evan… I don't have enough clothes on to sit out here… hold on to me

Evan: I did as he said, and he slowly lifted me up

Andy: Shit is everything alright? We were so fucking worried!

Evan: I turned my head slowly and looked at Andy and Lenny few meters from us

Congo: His voice was warm and soothing Yes… everything is fine, he's just pretty shaken up. The snow thankfully broke the fall. I just want us to get inside before we catch a cold… you should too…

Andy: He nodded agreeing and smiled softly at me I'll watch a movie with dad…

Lenny: I'll just pick up the bike and get it into the garage.

Congo: Thank you Lenny, I would appreciate that. He planted a soft kiss on Andy's lips, then Andy planted one on my cheek. And few minutes later Congo and I were safe and warm, laying in bed, naked, cuddled up with a movie on the big tv. I was safe in his arms, snuggling my head against his chest I have told Andy to stay here, I hate when he's away, even if it's only next door with Daniel. Specially now when he's pregnant, I prefer him to be as close as possible.

Evan: I nodded softly Me too…

Congo: He kissed my forehead softly I understand you need space and time to digest it all. So I have told Andy the next few days, you and I will stay down here, until you feel a bit better, until you feel you can cope better. He is not banned from the room, but I told him to give you space. And Andy himself added that he wants to give us space to get comfortable in this relationship. He wants us to just be Evan and Congo for a few days. If that's alright with you?

Evan: I smiled shyly I would very much like that.

Congo: Me too he smiled warmly and planted a soft kiss on my lips Lenny will stay here with him. And I'm sure we can both figure Daniel will come running at some point. But we will stay here, you and I, as much as possible. It has been almost 3 weeks since the wedding, and neither you or I have had time to catch much break. I could really need some time to catch up as well. I will still go with Andy every time he needs to have check ups, but beside that, as long as the pregnancy is calm and he doesn't feel it much, I will stay here… with you.

Evan: I smiled bright and felt tears in my eyes again

Congo: Is that happy tears? He chuckled softly and planted a gentle kiss on my nose

Evan: I nodded softly

Congo: Good… that's good… that was the reaction I was hoping for. Evan…

Evan: Yeah?

Congo: I love you very much, and I'm very thankful you came home.

Evan: I love you too I leaned upwards and kissed him lovingly

Congo: May I ask where you went?

Evan: To see the roaches.

[biscuits-of-bagend]

DnDoc, The Loch o' the Lowes #8 - A Terror Shared

Part 1 Part 7

Previous stories: DnDoc, Coming Home DnDoc, Space Band DnDoc,A Man's a Man DnDoc, The God of Rock 'n' Roll

---

Rogue woke up in the TARDIS, in his and the Doctor's bed. The events of the past day and a half rushed towards him like a jerkily remembered nightmare. He wondered if the TARDIS was still floating in the middle of the Loch of the Lowes. He tried to focus on the layered pattern of discs in the room's cornices, the moving wallpaper that right now showed a calming world of drifting clouds. Sometimes they had it set to underwater, so they could see the tropical fish wriggle by. But Rogue figured the Doctor might have worried he wouldn't find water that relaxing at the moment; he was probably right.

   As Rogue stood up and followed the sound of the Doctor and Ruby's voices - just like after the first night he and the Doctor had slept together - he was surprised to find the knot of fear still in his chest. They'd solved the problem, as they always did. What was there to be afraid of?

   He'd found a path from the living quarters straight to the wardrobe, and from there you could get to the main doors of the TARDIS. If whoever was at the console was preoccupied, it was possible to sneak out without anyone noticing. Sometimes Rogue just needed a bit of air, and didn't feel like making a whole thing of it.

   Rogue took this path now and down to the TARDIS doors without a word. But when he opened it, he found that there was indeed still water there. They were still floating in the middle of the loch with the paddle board tied up against the outside of the TARDIS. For a moment he contemplated just diving in wearing his shorts and t-shirt - there was no quieter place to think than floating on your back with water covering your ears - but two things stopped him. One, he'd freeze to death. Scotland was fucking cold. Two, the fear squeezed even more tightly at the thought of it.

   Why? Why was he so scared? Even the thought of dangling his legs in got an oh no from his brain. The confusion now added to the nerves and he found his stomach roiling with stress and his head gradually beating faster and faster.

   "Fuck this," Rogue muttered to himself.

   He sat down and plunged both his legs into the water, dangling them into the depths. The urge to pull them out was immediate, and strong, but Rogue refused. Mind over matter, motion over mind. Or lack of motion in this case. His whole body kept twitching, half-starting the movement of getting back up. To be fair, part of it was likely a reaction to the ice-bath temperature of the water. It was remarkable what a layer of neoprene could do to make a Scottish loch more bearable. But part of it was definitely the awareness that something might be down there.

   Rogue thought through what he knew about the Water-Cow and there were two main reasons not to be scared of it: (a) it had been perfectly friendly; (b) it was no more real than the cottage that had dissolved around them once the story was over. Nevertheless he could still hear it lowing, still remember the water rumbling with anticipation of something coming. He still couldn't get rid of the fear that had pierced into his side that first afternoon swimming in the loch.

   "Rogue?" the Doctor called from up at the console.

   "Yeah?" Rogue replied.

   "Just checking you're okay," the Doctor said. "No rush."

   Rogue hesitated. When he shoved his legs into the water it had on some level been an attempt to face his fear, get past it. But clearly it hadn't worked. He'd started this weekend with a mission: help the Doctor and Ruby have a nice holiday in the present day Scottish Borders. He was on the verge of failing at this, he felt.

   But he stood up slowly, letting the fear stay in his bones and come up with him. He could at the very least stop himself either going into a tailspin or swallowing his feelings.

   He walked up to the Doctor at the console and said, "Doctor, I am still afraid of the water, and I don’t understand why. I don't understand why any of this happened. I don't understand what happened."

   The Doctor smiled at him with pursed lips and patted him on the shoulder. "Honey, you know I love being the font of all knowledge, but I'm afraid I have very little too."

   Rogue sighed, but sidled up beside him and put his arm around his waist.

   "Tell him your theory though," said Ruby.

   "Oh?" said Rogue, leaning forward so he could look round at the Doctor's face.

   "Well," said the Doctor. "It is incredibly rough, basically guess-work. But I was thinking about how the whole thing started when you got scared. Fear can be… it can be really tight around you."

   "Were you going to say it can strangle you?" said Rogue, smirking slightly.

   "Maybe," said the Doctor.

   He turned around to face Rogue, and moved his face up close to Rogue's. "And then, when you confided your fear to me, and we got all wrapped around by love, then I started to feel it a bit more too."

   "And then you were both super intense and I got scared," said Ruby. "That's when I first started to hear the Water-Cow."

   Rogue pressed his lips together, looking over at her with suppressed laughter. As much as the three of them had worked on the dynamics within the TARDIS, Ruby definitely still liked embarrassing them when she got the chance. Sometimes that manifested as timing her inputs right when Rogue and the Doctor were about to kiss.

   "So that's what you think it is? You think it's strong emotion?" said Rogue.

   The Doctor shrugged. "Correlation does not equal causation but… who doesn't get more wrapped up in a story when there's intense emotion involved? The Borders are soaked in magic; so many ballads are set here. It doesn't seem outwith the realms of possibility that you might have got swept up in that."

   "And dragged you all down with me on our nice holiday?" said Rogue. He tried to keep a smile vaguely on his lips and his voice nice and light.

   "I for one am fine with live in a mad scary story where you save a damsel if it involves you telling me you love me," said the Doctor, kissing Rogue quickly before Ruby could interrupt. "Strong emotion rules."

   Rogue grinned, but then turned to Ruby. "And you?"

   Ruby hesitated. "Look, I'm not going to lie to you, I was enjoying the swimming and the walking and the amazing sights. But I came with the Doctor for adventures, and adventures tend to happen. If we can squeeze in some fun between the monsters, all the better. And I had loads of fun this weekend. Thank you both for giving Scotland another try."

   Rogue smiled wide. "Thank you for your understanding, Ruby. You know what, Scotland is at the very least never boring. I think I like it. How about you, Doctor?"

   "Oh, I love it. Many of my best selves have been Scottish," he said.

   Rogue glanced towards the open TARDIS door, where the dark grey water was still lapping, the Water-Cow still out there somewhere, maybe.

   He looked back to Ruby and the Doctor. "Well, how about one last Scottish swim before we go then?"

   "You sure?" asked the Doctor. "You're not still scared?"

   Rogue took the Doctor's hand and kissed him hard on the mouth, grinning as he pulled away. "Terrified."

---

@off-traveling-in-the-stars @casavanse @monster-donut @randomwholocker (let me know at any point if you no longer wish to be tagged in each post)

[an0nfr0mth3d3n]

tw: foolhalo

foolhalo

the girl are fighting

and kissing

and

yeah

( Like those two 'straight' girls who say they are so straight but make out constantly )

(just woke up from like, not a ton of sleep so rambling aheaddd)

Literally themmmmm. I feel like their entire dynamic is that. Are they fighting? Flirting? Making out? Stabbing each other? Who knows! Not them either! You feel like you are third wheeling every time you are with them. (I sure do at least)

I wonder what their dynamic was when they first met, years and years and years ago..

(dammit I did it again, mini fanfiction incomingggg)

Foolish is taking a break after he finished his current mega-build, a massive floating city on water he called Atlantis. It had been a couple of months since he had finished and he had caught word that the city was actually getting populated! (which made his job of interior design MUCH easier, why do the work if residents would come bring their own furniture? It was perfect!) At this point he was basically a king, a king of the sea and the beautiful city of Atlantis..

That all changes shortly enough when a messenger brings the news to him that a couple of Griefers were trying to summon a fuckin demon in the town square.

Foolish immediately dives into the water to swim to Atlantis. He didn't ACTUALLY think they could do it (were demons real?) but he at least wanted to see.

He gets in view of the city and is about to step onto land when SOMEHOW the ENTIRE BASE ISLAND somehow shudders and rumbles, cracks spider-webbing across the ground. Foolish is in shock. His build is about to be utterly destroyed, and so close to when it finally was finished too!!

He leaps onto dry land and SPRINTS to where the cracks come from, dodging dust and debris that rain from the sky, the terraces he built crumbing and falling, utter destruction ripping through the city.

In the center he finally sees the Griefers, or what remained of the dark hooded terrorists. Most of them were smashed into walls, presumably from a blast of energy which came from-

A dark figure stretching in the town square, shackled wrists flexing and shattering golden cuffs, immediately spawning more shock waves.

Foolish sees red.

He charges forwards like a bull, batting stone and concrete away as he barrels towards the creature that was inadvertently DESTROYING his current Great Project.

He tackles the spindly figure, pushing it roughly into the ground, shouting...something at it. He couldn't even hear himself with how much the earth was shaking and the sound of buildings breaking rattling in his ears.

The creature below him made a fuckin :3 face somehow, and suddenly the earth trembled, and all hell broke loose.

Buildings leaned and fell, glass bursting out like water, and entire sections of the earth fell away and crashed into the sea, massive waves slapping away at the materials and stripping them of any personality there once was.

People screamed and ran, many squashed by falling debris, many getting tossed into the sea haphazardly by the bucking earth under their feet.

Foolish groans as the city strips away, and all that is left is the town square in a circular outline of a summoning circle.

The being under him shifted. and Foolish's attention snapped back to it.

"Oh sweet bread your chin is as chiseled as the buildings I just broke :3"

"How the fuck did you say colon three in your, actually what the fuck is a colon there's a plothole here, ah what the fuck do you mean 'sweet bread'?"

The dark being rolls under him, shifting Foolish off, and reaching for a dark and red robe one of the Griefers had. He pushed the groaning, still-alive man into the water, watching happily as the man screamed and splashed into the cold water.

"Sweet bread is tasty, when they mix sugar in bread? I accidentally made it once, I'm sure humans will give it a name sometime in the future." The creature rambled, covering his naked form with the cloak.

(edit, I know NOTHING about cooking or how ancient muffins were made man, I did some research but couldn't find a definite answer for this time period)

"You just destroyed my city you bitch, whaT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOUUUUUUU" Foolish screamed, launching himself at the (demon?).

The being dodges with a O_o, and runs, unable to get too far from the enraged builder in the circle platform left. They chase each other for a few minutes and fuuuuuuck I'm getting tired and I didn't mean to make this at allllllllll so I'm gonna non traditional end it sorryyyy.

They fight, Bad makes "observations" about Foolish's "peak physique" Foolish is laughing in frustration and they wrestle and fight and bite and definitely kiss once or twice simply because the tensions were running so high. There's still a Griefer on the summoning circle, but he hears like, a couple sentences of banter and throws himself into the water because these two CLEARLY have SOMETHING going on, and now they are talking about proper market etiquette and roleplaying buying mangos and no one can tell if this is foreplay or insanity.

(anon I'm so sorry this just happens sometimes and I'm tired and have 0 filter so...have this fuckin mini fanfiction that was born from your silly ask I guess ;-;)

[whoreviewswho]

Wokeness, Responsibility and if RTD is problematic - Rose Noble and Trans Identities in RTD2

Is Russell T. Davies a problematic figure? Is he too woke or not aware enough? Is he doing something wrong to illicit negative responses from the conservatives as well as the progressives? Is it something in the programme, something in the marketing or is he doing nothing particularly bad at all? Well, perhaps you and I, faithful reader, can come to some sort of conclusion. Let's find out together as we take a dive into the controversial choices behind RTD2 and the mind of the man behind them.

“Homophobia and transphobia happens when it’s something you’ve never seen before. You can temper that reaction and change it when you introduce these images to people happily and normally and calmly when they’re young. Then it just becomes normal.” - Russell T Davies, Doctor Who: Unleashed

Yasmin Finney, in the role of Rose Noble, was the cover star of Doctor Who Magazine #591. She became the first trans woman to feature on the front of the magazine, six months before she made her on-screen debut in The Star Beast. The anticipation and mystique regarding Finney's role had been building for some time – twelve months, in fact, since her announcement in May 2022 and the teasing reveal of her character's name. Below her, on the retail version of the magazine, read the text; "RUSSELL T DAVIES ON CASTING ROSE". Indeed, such comments from RTD could be found inside as part of a larger article discussing LGBTQ+ characters from Doctor Who's history. Regarding Rose, RTD wrote the following words;

"We're looking for good actors. That's the most fundamental line. Good acting, gay, straight, in between, whatever, the actor we choose has to be good. That's the only thing that matters. I find myself at the heart of a web - of my own making, okay! - discussing the rights and wrongs of casting, especially when it comes to LGBTQ+ roles. And it's an evolving thing. My stance changes over the years, as I learn more and more. My opinions change, like they're meant to. When I express a preference for casting gay actors in gay roles, some critic will hold up Queer as Folk from 1999 and say, but you cast straight men in that! Yes, I say, and I owe them everything; their bravery allowed me to move forwards, but more significantly, that was 24 years ago. Do you still think the same as 24 years ago? And then they stick their dummies back in their mouths and I think, oh, you do. The joy of casting like this, is in making my own experience richer, and I hope the viewers' too. That's what's brilliant about working with Yasmin Finney - through contact with her, I've witnessed her ideals, her politics, her family, her fights, her triumphs, her life in this world. A life I might never have known. It's a journey and a joy. I love it, and I hope I can do more, more, more."

There is an important moment of self-reflection to be noted here – a direct acknowledgement from RTD that his values, attitudes and opinions in representing the LGBTQ+ is an evolving one. I am inclined to agree with this too. I am not wasting my time attempting to hold the RTD of a quarter of a century ago to the social standards of today. To hold any work or writer up in such a way is, in my opinion, a dangerous and flawed practice that necessitates a form of selective critical thinking to even be viable. Art does not exist in a vacuum and to divorce it of any cultural context is an ignorant and problematic way in which to engage with it. That does not mean you have to like that work or artist. I am not insisting upon you to approve of work that is produced from deeply offensive, ignorant and insensitive places simply because they were made in the past. I am merely agreeing with the school of thought presented by RTD that the individual's and society's moral compasses are constantly evolving beasts and that evolution is reflective in the art that comes out of them. This here is really the thesis of this whole series of articles. Feel free to turn away at this point if you find yourself disagreeing. If you're looking for somebody to validate your feelings that art which you disagree with in some respect is inherently bad, please go and virtue-signal somewhere else. 

Today's entry will chronicle the overall handling and reaction to the first openly trans character in televised Doctor Who and how these things are situated in the socio-political climate of 2023. Before we go any further, though, I would like to directly acknowledge a fact that you will likely have noticed which is that these writings are devoting comparatively little space to repeating the views of the 'anti-woke' crowd. This is due to the fact that this crowd offers next to nothing of value to say with any potentially valid criticisms about Rose's characterisation and Finney's performance being, at best, drowned out or, at worst, entirely non-existent. This leaves me with very little to say beyond acknowledging that these people exist and that they are hateful, transphobic bigots and should save a lot of embarrassment embracing their true identity of being fucking morons. What we will do, inevitably, is turn back to the progressive complaints because they are far more interesting to consider than the inane 'You ruined Doctor Who' crowd and much more important. 

But this is all still to come. Let's just take a moment to briefly contextualise queerness in Doctor Who as best we can without making that the whole article. Prior to 2005, Doctor Who was an incredibly gay programme. There was no question of it having a mainstream popularity and strong cultural presence throughout the 1960s and 1970s but following its sixteen years sabbatical from a regular television presence, the cult fanbase that remained primarily consisted of queer men*. Queerness in the original run of the show was always a matter of subtext. Indeed, a number of key creators across the show's history were queer identifying including the programme's first director Waris Hussein, writer/director Peter Grimwade and producer John Nathan-Turner. Jordan Shortman has written a terrific article titled A Look at LGBTQI+ Representation in Doctor Who which I strongly encourage you seek out. The article is wonderfully easy to read and excellently acknowledges and explains the relationship between the LGBTQI+ community and Doctor Who. I'll make sure to link it at the bottom of this post.

One of the key examples that Shortman cites is the nature of the Doctor as a character; "From the second televised story, there is a strong sense of justice about the Doctor, doing what’s right; treating all life in the universe with respect has been a large part of the Doctor’s character as well as a driving force for the show, even in times when LGBTQI+ themes couldn’t be included". The suggested asexual nature of the Doctor is also notable for their appeal as a queer icon. Other characters with a strong queer subtext include the companions Turlough and Ace, the latter of which has been confirmed to have a deliberate lesbian subtext in at least one of her serials. Coupled with the decidedly camp nature of the show's production, especially in the 1980s, it is not hard to pinpoint examples of where the show's queer fandom might have been accrued.

Shortman's article crosses the wilderness years and into the revival where one such queer fan, RTD, took over the reigns and ensured that that representation was no longer subtextual. His first series gave us an unabashedly pansexual companion with Captain Jack Harkness, portrayed by an openly gay man in John Barrowman. Jack and the Doctor shared the first ever same-sex kiss in the programme before the character left the show full-time to head up the spin-off series Torchwood where his relationship with Ianto Jones became a defining element of the show's fandom. Obviously we shall return to RTD himself but queer Doctor Who did not end with his initial departure. Steven Moffat, a cis straight man, introduced a similarly roguish, queer icon with part-time companion River Song and recurring allies Madame Vastra and her wife Jenny. Moffat also introduced the show's first openly queer female identifying companions with bisexual Clara Oswald and lesbian Bill Potts. Somewhat more divisive was Chris Chibnall's, also a straight cis man, presentation of a tragic romance between the Doctor and her bisexual companion Yaz. 

This brings us to 2023 and the debut of Rose on the 25th of November that year. In DWM #597, RTD and Finney discussed the character in Doctor Who with RTD's opening remarks being;

"You know me, I'm going to make my stuff as modern and as progressive as it can be [and] I thought it was joyous, to get a trans character in there. I thought that'd be a lovely 2023 thing to do. A blast of 2023! It makes you better, makes life richer, and makes the viewing experience better."

Rose’s first scene is, in fact, the first scene of The Star Beast (discounting the expository prologue) and it plays as well as one would hope. We glean something of her character, her interests and interests and her relationship with Donna. I feel obliged to mention that the lowest possible bar is met regarding representation in that the Doctor, our audience surrogate in this scene, does not deride, question or shame her in any way whatsoever. What caused some amount of uproar came in the character’s second scene which takes place outside the family home. Donna and Rose are walking back to the house together and a group of young boys ride past and recognise Rose. The group of them harass her, calling out the following;

LAD: Oi, Jason, you all right? LAD 2: Looking good, Jason! LAD: Give us a kiss, Jay Boy!

Donna responds furiously, later explicitly reaffirming her support and love for her daughter, prompting Rose's exhausted response; "Just leave it". In regards to this scene, Finney detailed in DWM that Russell's scripts "definitely, definitely don't sugarcoat" the trans experience – 'Rose gets some stick from kids at school - when she and Donna are walking home, boys shout some stuff - and that's a part of being trans, especially in high school," She goes on to clarify; "Well, not just in high school. It's the stick we get from everybody. People see an opportunity and take it and love to degrade and embarrass us. But Donna's having none of it, and neither is Rose. I'm proud of that. That's such great writing. And I love the fact that, with both Rose and Elle, it's not like being trans is all there is. There's so much more to Rose than being trans".

Finney revealed even more about the scene in the corresponding episode of Doctor Who: Unleashed; “It did kinda bring back some PTSD for me. Sadly, my high school experience was a lot of bullying and a lot of defending myself and having to put on a brave face”. In the same episode, RTD commented; “Those boys on bikes are watching Doctor Who. So I hope they’ll watch it and think ‘Oh, maybe I shouldn’t do that. Maybe that’s wrong.’ It’s true, that’s part of our audience”. Notably, elsewhere in the same interview, RTD (before disclaiming a trigger warning) refers to Rose by her deadname and specifies that that choice was made because of an etymological link to the Greek word for 'healer'. He defended the decision to include the scene further in The Official Doctor Who Podcast; “To get that across and to get the prejudice that’s being shown towards Rose by those bullies and thugs in the street, we actually have to have a scene of deadnaming. Is that a good thing to do? Is that a wise thing to do? Is that a difficult thing to do? I personally think we should stare into difficult stuff like this, but equally, what a nice easy life I’ve got, and I’m ready to be told otherwise.”

An important thing to understand about RTD as a queer storyteller is his relationship with trauma. When he was eighteen, the world saw the first diagnosis of HIV/AIDS. There is a reason why It's a Sin depicted the brutality and horror of the UK AIDS Crisis with such a palpable sense of tragedy and bitterness. The queer experiences that RTD had when he was at his most impressionable were overwhelmingly loaded with hatred, bigotry, neglect, shame, fear and death. When RTD reinvented the Doctor in 2005, he depicted him as a "lonely god"; somebody who feels like the last man standing after his people are gone, alone in the universe. When it came to Torchwood: Children of Earth, this queer trauma was depicted further when Ianto is killed by a virus leaving Jack to carry on without him. Throughout RTD's career, his representation of queer characters and the queer experience has been informed by tragedy and trauma which he makes no less apparent in his writing of Rose. This begs the question – does this depiction being realistic preclude it from being poor or unnecessary? Would it have been just as strong a choice to simply write a strong character, one who is not bullied or belittled, and they just happen to be trans? This is an opinion that somebody voiced to me in real life after the special aired, a queer man who expressed exhaustion and disappointment with high profile queer representation offering traumatic experiences and defining its characters primarily by their queerness.

Following a scene with Rose's grandmother where she slips on her pronouns ("When I say she looks gorgeous, is that right? I mean, is it sexist? Never said it to him when he was... Oh. Oh, sorry"), Rose befriends The Meep and thinks she forges a connection due to their both feeling isolated and "from another planet". Another suggestion of queer trauma. As the story goes on, Rose becomes the crux of a big reveal which is that the Time Lord brain, the Doctor's brain, that was inherited by Donna in Journey's End passed down into Rose when she was born. It is at this point that the representation becomes... muddled.

When the Doctor reverts Donna's conditioning, one of the trigger words is "binary". At this moment, it is revealed that Rose speaks a different word - "Non-binary". This leads to the following explanation; 

DOCTOR: We're binary. DONNA: She's not, because the Doctor's... DOCTOR: ..male... DONNA: ..and female. ROSE: And neither. And more.

There a number of things potentially going on here that are of note. The first is that ongoing queer trauma subtext in RTD's work and this story's suggestion that that is a shared burden. This seems to be a realisation that has evolved in Davies' work over time. It's a Sin, for all its harrowing realism, makes a point of depicting community and friendship as intrinsic to the queer experience. The trauma is still there but it is a shared experience. The three specials RTD wrote from The Star Beast to The Giggle present a new arc for the Doctor which includes his making peace with not needing to be alone. As Donna suggests, in a rather meta-fictional line; "[Y]ou've been given a second chance. You can do things different this time. So why don't you do something completely new, and have some friends?" This theme can be extended to Rose as one of three characters who bears the load of the Doctor's experiences. The Doctor used to carry the weight of his trauma on his shoulders, now he has an opportunity to change and realise that others can take on those burdens with him. Perhaps this might have been what RTD was going for with his use of the term 'non-binary' – Rose saves Donna's life by freeing her from the limitations of binary thinking. It was assumed that she would either embrace her true self and die or live a slightly unhappy life with years of built up repression. Via Rose, we come to realise that there are not only two options.

To my understanding, the problem with this scene insofar as representation is largely rooted in the terminology and potentially an enormous misunderstanding from RTD. As presented, RTD seems to use the term 'non-binary' interchangeably with 'trans'. This is a complicated subject to get into but, so far as I understand it, the two terms are not generally accepted as synonymous. In contemporary queer culture, 'non-binary' is employed as an umbrella term for any identity that sits outside the accepted gender binary (male or female). For example, an individual assigned female at birth who identifies as agender, genderless. Transgender is also an umbrella term and it refers to an individual whose gender identity does not correspond to the one which they were assigned at birth. For example, an individual assigned male at birth who identifies as a woman. If these above definitions are to be taken as wrote, this would suggest that non-binary people may be transgender but not all transgender people are non-binary. These are not strict definitions, of course, but an attempt to better clarify and explain how RTD's use of terminology in The Star Beast is flawed.

This all could have worked better with some very minor changes. As written, it is plausible to infer that RTD's understanding of gender theory has some basis in academia, specifically in the views and opinions of activists and theorists of a closer generation to his. Based on how it is presented in The Star Beast, it would not be unreasonable to conclude that RTD considers the forging of a trans identity as an inherent rejection of the social constructs that are firmly entrenched in our post-colonial lives. Indeed, in Doctor Who: Unleashed, he explicitly remarked that; “It becomes a vital part of the plot that Rose contains the ‘he’ and the ‘she’ and the neither and the both, and that’s a new future. Rose goes beyond words, beyond definitions.”

An example of this relationship with gender can be found from feminist activist Gloria Steinem in a 2015 article for Advocate titled 'Op-ed: On Working Together Over Time' suggested that western society is shifting "away from only the binary boxes of “masculine” or “feminine” and begin[ning] to live along the full human continuum of identity and expression". Prolific gender theorist Judith Butler has expressed agreement with this opinion and offered her own definition of gender as a performative act from the individual rather than a natural reality. To quote BigThink's 2023 article 'Berkeley philosopher Judith Butler’s theory of gender for the 21st century'; "Gender only exists to the extent that it is performed, meaning it is both fluid and capable of evolving beyond history and tradition... It would be a mistake to come up with a single definition of what a woman is. It would be parochial. It would be coming from a very specific perspective. It would be freezing a time and place into a definition and then imposing it on the rest of the world”. 

There is nothing inherently problematic or inappropriate about RTD's choice to depict a non-binary character. The problems lie solely in the fact that he did not do this for the larger part of the story's runtime. While Rose never explicitly describes her gender identity or her preferred pronouns, it is strongly suggested throughout The Star Beast that she is female identifying; her family only refer to her with she/her pronouns and repeatedly denote her as their daughter. Instead, the text repeatedly suggests that Rose's identity exists on the established gender binary of male/female making the choice ending a muddled and awkward pill to swallow.

A fan theory that emerged in the wake of this scene was that Rose's trans identity stemmed from her having two people inside of her – the one she was born as and the one she identifies as. I hate this theory and I think that it is quite a transphobic reading of what happens here. There is no need to create a convoluted sci-fi reason for trans people to exist because trans people do exist. If cis people have a hard time comprehending the idea that somebody's assigned gender is not a label that they comfortably align and identify with, then I see no reason to make that reality something that can be hand waved away. Suggesting that transness is because of an alien presence in somebody's brain is not something that I can get behind and the problem is that that read is entirely plausible. Intentionally or otherwise, RTD has written in an 'out' for transphobes to justify and rationalise the character's existence in their own minds. And I very much dislike that.

RTD's trans representation in The Star Beast lead to a mixed reception within the fandom. As fan Emily, @emilyXCVI, remarked on Twitter, "[RTD] absolutely nails it in the first half, Donna & Sylvia’s talk in the kitchen was brilliant. But then the “nonbinary” thing and implying that Rose is trans because of the meta crisis…not so much. I appreciate the sentiment but it could have been framed a lot better". The positive points of praise frequently arose as acclaim for RTD's decision to depict a trans character in such a positive role in a high-profile, BBC programme. As Dr Emily Garside, @EmiGarside, proclaimed; "Russell T Davies truly stood up and said Trans people are beautiful and we love to see it. (The Doctor doesn’t stand for transphobes and neither does the Whoniverse)". Fio Trethewey, @FioTrethewey, was another voice in the fandom that was resoundingly positive; "#DoctorWho was so great last night, a fun romp and well made. Most of all I was so happy to see Donna respect her trans daughter, and help her mother when she was clumsy with the details, just all the good representation. In times we live in right now it’s what we need to see " 

The detractors were, however, equally as vocal with many pointing to RTD's comments surrounding the deadnaming scene as problematic. As JaeWrites, @jae_writes_, expressed; “RTD: ‘I didn't want to give transphobes any more ammo by putting David in 13's outfit.’ Also RTD: ‘So I'm just gonna deadname my trans character, make that deadname important to the story, repeat that deadname in interviews, and heavily imply that being trans is a choice.’” Some fans were critical of the choice to share Rose’s deadname in any context, concerned that the detail would only offer ammunition for transphobic fans to be disrespectful to the character when discussing her (this did happen). The harsher critics even compared the depiction to RTD’s earlier character of Lady Cassandra O’Brien from 2005’s The End of the World. The real first openly trans character in televised Doctor Who. The hysterical, vain, arrogant aristocrat was the primary villain of two stories in RTD's original run and was primarily depicted as a large, flat piece of skin in a metal frame. The character claimed to have had more than 700 different cosmetic surgeries. Cassandra mentions that she was born a boy in a throwaway line in her debut story which was intended to play as transphobic comedy. Cassandra blatantly played into the 'deranged transsexual killer' trope and is seemingly killed on-screen at the end of both stories she appears in. 

Following The Star Beast's broadcast, RTD appeared on The Official Doctor Who Podcast. The show is hosted by a diverse trio of fans, one of which is Juno Dawson, a trans woman. Dawson first became involved with Doctor Who in a professional capacity in 2017 but made her most high-profile contribution to the franchise to date in 2022 as the lead writer on the first series of Doctor Who: Redacted for BBC Sounds. The ten episode series featured Jodie Whittaker and a host of alumni returning to reprise their roles alongside original character Cleo, a young trans woman. The series was renewed for a second season which aired in 2023, now attracted to the RTD2 version of the programme, but Dawson was replaced as lead writer by prolific Who writer James Goss, a cis man. In the podcast, Dawson praised RTD's writing, especially the deadnaming scene; "There is no point in trying to sugar the pill. Trans people face transphobia". As some fans have been quick to point out, it remains unconfirmed whether Dawson or anybody else close to the production was consulted about their experiences as a trans person during pre-pre-production. As of the time of writing, neither Dawson nor any other trans identifying person has been confirmed in any creative role for seasons one or two.

Two days after The Star Beast aired, the highly publicised trial of Scarlett Jenkinson and Eddie Ratcliffe commenced. Earlier that year, the pair were arrested on suspicion of murder of 16-year-old Brianna Ghey. The murder and subsequent trial generated much discussion and attention in the UK press drawing greater attention to the lives of transgender youth in Britain than ever before. In the midst of this event was Doctor Who, as written by a cis gay man, depicting a trans woman in the UK in 2023. Following the broadcast of The Star Beast, the BBC received 144 complaints about its choice to depict a trans character to which the corporation responded;  “As regular viewers of Doctor Who will be aware, the show has and will always continue to proudly celebrate diversity and reflect the world we live in. We are always mindful of the content within our episodes.” In 2023, its 60th year since initial broadcast, RTD ensured that Doctor Who, remained connected to the cultural conversation of the UK and its wider world.

But does that necessarily mean that he did it very well?

To be continued in part three; The First Black Doctor and the Meaning of Mavity

*See one of RTD's greatest ever in-jokes in Rose when our titular heroine meets up with Clive to talk about the Doctor and his wife remarks; "She? She's read a website about the Doctor? She's a she?"

A Look at LGBTQI+ Representation in Doctor Who - https://thedoctorwhocompanion.com/2023/06/01/a-look-at-lgbtqi-representation-in-doctor-who/ 

[mangorumpuscandyfactory]

Junelezen 1- Portrait

Ok so I'm late. I'm very late. But to be fair! I didn't know this was going on. And also I didn't get Mermay done.

TOO BAD. It's my son's month. And here he is! Aelaeis Kelleran, my Duskwight FF14 character, and his....numerous different lives.

Individual stills and intros below the cut! Credit to @venusbeautyshock for her incredible hard working posing, editing and putting together this piece!

Aelaeis Kelleran. A young man who woke up with amnesia (and permanent brain and nerve damage) among the Viera deep in Othard’s forests, coming to Eorzea based on a single curl of Kelleran Fern found attached to his clothes; a native species to Cortheas. Meeting with the Scions, he becomes their mailboy and errand lad—which starts becoming sillier and sillier the more storied he becomes. Archer who graduates to Astrologian.

Zardyn Bismark. An Ishgardian-Duskwight mix, born into a life after his parents extremely messy fall from grace after both the mixing of blood and their grandfather's scandalous involvement with a Cult surrounding the Vanu Vanu primal, Bismark (the only name they were given to keep once their extended family disowned them).

Growing up in the Brume with parents who did not know how to manage shame nor poverty made him a bitter and suspicious young man, and a series of hope-shattering events in the wake of the Calamity send him spiraling off the deep end and straight into the arms of Garlemald.

Becoming a traitor-spy for Garlemald in exchange for the life he'd always felt owed to him, things turn south and he has to flee to the East, vanishing with only his tattered name as his legacy...

Eionne wir Galvus, Empress of Garlemald and wife to Solus zos Galvus. The first empress of Garlemald was known as frail, gentle and simple-minded to her public. What a man of such glorious cleverness saw in her was anyone's guess, but never had Garlemald known such peace as the years when Solus had both her and their son Lucius at their side.

The death of the crowned prince was a tragedy, and the soon after fatal fall of Empress Eionne was attributed to her simple mind being simply too full of grief to notice her library tower's open window. Solus took another wife shortly thereafter and re-secured his bloodline, but none after would know that warmth from their Emperor again. If anything, it seemed almost as if the nose dive of the Empire began the moment Prince Lucius drew his last breath...

Janus was born with a strange anomaly, an unusual degree of aetheric gravity that proved no great issue until his mother's Returning Ritual, where when she tried to return to the star, he instead clung to her spirit so tightly that he trapped her spirit with him in a horrific and soul-scarring amalgam that kept her from the release of death until they could be extricated. From then on he was treated as a 'special care' case, a ward of the state that was disallowed performing most daily tasks without a handler on hand and slated for simple jobs and unassuming futures.

To be chosen by Azem as their protegee felt like a cruel prank at first--but it was a choice that changed the course of the star forever.

Phew! This was long, but I wanted to introduce the main character(s) of this story properly. I can't wait to get on the bus for this big adventure! Time to catch up!

(Also heads up. This is. Completely self indulgent. Cringe is dead and we live for living.)

[dizzydesi53]

Sharing

I woke up to bright sunlight shining through the wall-length windows. I looked over to find Keigo staring at me with warm gold eyes. he looked at me like I was the only person in his world, and he completely adored his world. I smiled at him scooting closer for more cuddles

that's when I realized he was shirtless, I blushed bright red looking anywhere but at him. he chuckled stroking my cheek.

"Morning little mate, you feeling better?"

I was! I was very relaxed and calm. while kidnapped I'd made myself a promise, I'd swore I'd tell him everything and give him the chance to really be mine. I was a little nervous but also very resolved.

"I feel ok.... can we talk?"

his brows furrowed and he looked concerned.

"Is this about your missing mark? do you want to leave now? I can't blame you if you do"

"no, I need to share things with you and then I want to ask you something."

he perked up when I said that I wanted to share things with him. I could see a small spark of hope in his eyes. he nodded enthusiastically until my stomach growled making both of us chuckle, mine more in embarrassment.

"you talk I'll cook, how's that sound?"

"ok, so long as it's not chicken. we can have that for dinner"

he laughed, his eyes twinkling when I said I'd be here for dinner. he scooped me up holding me close, I was grateful for the comfort and curled closer basically clinging to him like a koala bear.

He put me on the kitchen barstool and then started cooking breakfast. After a while, he let his feathers finish cooking and came to sit with me.

"So, what do you want to tell me?"

I wrung my hands and bit my lip nervously. I'd never told anyone about what happened. He seemed to sense how scared I was and grabbed my hand, threading our fingers together

"When I was 16 my best friend's and I snuck into a club...."

~

"Are you sure this is going to work?"

I whispered to Kelly and Ivy. we were in a line waiting to get into this nightclub that Kelly swore was the coolest club. I wasn't so sure, first, it was in a pretty rough neighborhood and second, there was a rumor that this was the club that was run by a villain gang.

I think that was the reason Kelly wanted to come here, she was always thrill-seeking. from stealing trinkets in a store to cliff diving, she tried any and every new thing to get her thrill and she usually dragged us along with her.

"our I.D's are rock solid, there's no way they'll know! be cool!"

we waited in line until a group of 4 guys walked past the whole line straight to the front. one of the men, a big burly guy in a leather jacket stopped just in front of us. he was visibly sniffing the air before his eyes landed on Kelly, Ivy, and me.

he smirked looking her up and down then used his finger in a come hither motion. he gestured to the door of the club with his chin grinning ear from ear. kelly got excited, practically bouncing. She grabbed our hands hauling us along after her as the guy got us into the club without our ids ever being checked.

~

Kelly and the guy hit it off almost instantly. he bought her round after round of drinks that smelled horrible to me. I couldn't shake my uneasy feeling since we had gotten inside so I hadn't drunk anything. I looked at Ivy who gave me that we need to leave look.

Kelly started swaying and that's when I decided Ivy was right, we needed to leave. I grabbed her hand and hauled her up, which took a lot of effort. the guy got in my face, he was wearing a furious expression.

"let her go now!"

"she's drunk we're leaving!"

"she's mine!"

I pulled Kelly behind me but that only seemed to enrage the man more. he swiped at me, his hand's claws, that must be his quirk. I cried out gripping my now bleeding arm, and I let go of Kelly. he grabbed her, dragging her out a back door while Ivy and I tried to follow.

Ivy grabbed her cell phone and called the police, who were sending the nearest hero available. Ivy held me back when I wanted to go save her

"Just stay here, the heroes will save her, your bleeding too much"

~

"By the time the heroes and authorities arrived, the alpha who had dragged her away had already... She died because she fought him...."

Keigo was holding me in his lap, his arms and wings wrapped firmly around me making me feel safe enough to finish telling him my story.

"She's the reason I became a hero. I didn't want what happened to Kelly to happen to someone else"

I shuddered and he rubbed my back while I took a moment to calm down after talking for what felt like hours. I held out my tattooed arm and showed him the faint scars just under the colorful ink.

"I couldn't stand looking at my arm, so I covered the scars with lilies and roses. that was Kelly's quirk. She could grow anything. roses and lilies were her favorites."

his fingers slid over the skin of my arm, despite feeling drained and empty his touch sent sparks through me.

"I was wondering about your tattoos."

I blushed, I forgot he had seen my thigh tattoo as well.

"the butterfly and cherry blossoms don't mean anything, I just liked them."

I wasn't telling him about my other tattoos, maybe he'd see them later if he's lucky. the thought had me blushing a deeper scarlet than I was already. he chuckled making me hide my face

"what were you thinking?"

"about what I wanted to ask you"

I whispered it, hoping he couldn't hear me. the courage I'd had earlier had evaporated as id told my story.

"And that is?"

I couldn't look at him, I hid inside my wings, wrapping myself in a fuzzy white world, hiding helped, not being able to see him gave me more courage so I could say what I wanted.

"I'm going to go into heat soon, the kidnappers said so..."

"you don't have to worry about me losing control again. I won't do anything you don't want again. you're in charge I swear!"

I shook my head, even though my head was buried in my wings so I was sure he couldn't see me. I could tell he was confused.

"then what?"

"i-i-.....I want you.....to be..m-m-my mate!"

he stiffened under me and I could hear him gasp loudly and then he bolted up carrying me off somewhere, practically at a sprint. I squeaked nervously when he put me down on the bed. I peeked at him from inside my wings. he was flushed, standing at the end of the bed in front of me. he was still shirtless and had baggy sweatpants that hung low. he seemed excited and nervous running his hands through his tousled hair. he leaned down, grabbing my chin through my feather shield making me look at him in his beautiful golden eyes.

"you sure baby? this isn't something you can take back. this means you are mine, and I'm yours. do you want me?"

[oraclekleo]

Hi🌻 Congrats for reaching this milestone! I have been following u for a long time so I m happy to see u reach this in no time. I would like to join in this compatibility with Yeonjun. U can do kinky spread or any nsfw spread to see the compatibility since I m above 18 alrdy lol. Tbh, Yeonjun is not my bias but I m bored so this idea has intruiged me to try it.

Impression of ur blog: Pretty organized. Like when I first saw ur blog, it def looks like u knows wht to do and how to make it work around here. Like u alrdy have an idea in ur mind that u have set for this blog. Like the lists, mastelist, rules, readings, everything. I like that about ur blog honestly. We can just easily access the readings u did in the past or just read the rules before sending in. U make it accessible and easy for us to understand how it works so it's great.

A little info abt myself: hmm, if u are going to do 18+ spreads, then I must say tht I am Dom and yes I knw. It's rlly rare for female doms to exist in this world. I guess I was born to be that way since I hate being told to do ever since I was a kid lol. Another fact abt me is that I am not a morning person and I prefer staying up late at night. I rlly like envy ppl who can jux wake up pretty early and be all happy and active lolll. Like how do y'all do tht when u jux woke up?🤨😂 like how do y'all have the energy and mood for it?🤣 anyways, are u a morning person or a night person Kleo?👀 lemme knw.

Hello dear!

Thank you for participating in this event!

Yes, I’m a super early morning person. Like I can easily not only wake up but also immediately get up at 3 am or 4 am or 5 am. My usual routine means getting up from bed and going for a dog walk straight away, like within 10 minutes of waking up, I’m already outside, before anything else. I have breakfast after the walk. So yeah, I’m one of those special people. Lol. I was born that way.

And it’s so great to meet another female dom here! Yes, we are super rare. I’m also a dom. I don’t mind being told what to do if it makes sense for me like when I’m learning something new and need an expert to teach but someone who just thinks I will respect them only because of what they have in their pants will learn a painful lesson.

And thank you! I’m indeed a very organised person. If I’m away from home and someone asks me where something is there, I’m able to tell them the location precisely because everything is sorted. 

Anyway! Let’s dive into your reading!

18+ content ahead!

bae127 + Yeonjun (TXT) Compatibility Reading

Cards: 5 of Wands, X The Wheel of Fortune, II The High Priestess (Tarot in Wonderland), XIII The Death, XIV Temperance, VIII Justice (Tarot of Casanova), 3. The Alchemist (Oracle of the Roses), 16. Solar Calm (Starcodes Astro Oracle)

I can see right away that Yeonjun doesn’t exactly spark passion in you. That might be the reason for you two quarrelling and feeling like fighting an already lost battle. You might somewhat consider him too shallow for your taste, his interests are not aligned with yours and while you can easily see deeper, there’s nothing much to be found in him. You might tend to treat him more like a child than a grown up man, taking care of his carnal needs but without lust or passion occuring.

As for the sexual aspect of your relationship, I’m afraid that even if he tried he wouldn’t be able to satisfy you. The cards suggest you might end up pleasuring yourself when he fails his mission and falls asleep. You are pretty much the one doing all the magic and work here. You might be able to deliver blinding pleasure to him but there’s no reciprocity. You might enjoy Yeonjun whispering praises while you play with him but he’s not really the one to make you scream in return.

Your inner sun is calm and there are no eruptions when Yeonjun is around. You might try but same like the figures on 5 of Wands, you’re not likely to build a functioning relationship and only feel like running in a hamster wheel without escape.

Thank you for reading!

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You can click every day again.

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[tofics]

🥲 With the way my period went last week, this fic was on my brain constantly. But my god, Bug, I needed time to digest this masterpiece. (I've also saved various of your other works in my drafts to comment on later. I apologize for the reblog spam that is about to happen.)

Kay, now. Let's dive in, shall we? 🥰

Joel wakes up early the next morning and greets you with a kiss pressed to the side of your head. “Fuck off,” you mumble, your voice is still thick with sleep but he knows you mean it so he lets you sleep in a bit while he cleans the bathroom for you. He works as quietly as he can, scrubbing it and mopping it from top to bottom. He empties the trash can and the laundry hamper, he makes sure there’s a fresh bar of soap and a new washrag for you. Joel’s just finishing up and wiping dust from the mirror when you find him in the bathroom. “Mornin’, sunshine,” he says as he kisses the top of your head. “How do you feel?”

What a sweet, sweet, kind man. If I woke up to a freshly cleaned bathroom while on my period, I'd probably cry.

“I didn’t ask you to do that,” you mumble. “The bleach you used makes my head hurt worse.”

🥲 Ma'am. I get it. But. The sweet man.

If looks could fuckin’ kill, Joel thinks. You’re glaring at him. He takes that as his cue to leave. You shrink away from him as he gently brushes your arm when he walks past, then shut the door loudly behind him. Ouch. Joel knows not to take it personally, though. You’re crampy, but you’re also probably hungry. He’ll make you breakfast, something with protein because he knows you need it. 

Sorry, did you say saint??? Saint Joel???

“I didn’t hear ya, sweetheart. Speak up, please.”  “I said yes,” you snap.  Your clipped tone cuts like a knife. Joel bites his inner cheek as he takes your plate from you.

😫 The disrespect. The bitten cheek. (Loved that bit. His annoyance is growing, but he's still keeping his cool. Again, did someone say saint??)

“No. I don’t care,” you interrupt, which hurts Joel’s feelings a little. A lot, actually.

S' OKAY, SWEET BABY. C'MERE. MAMA'S GOT YOU.

“Your glasses broke.”  “Yeah. I see that.”  “I didn’t mean to,” you tell him defensively. “Right.”  “But you really shouldn’t leave your glasses there, Joel.”

Breaking the silence, Joel finally clears his throat and continues his thought, “I’m gonna give you two options,” Joel says. “You can walk the fuck away from me, or you can get on your knees. Whichever you choose, you do so silently. Nod if you understand.” 

“You’ve earned yourself brownie points choosin’ the latter of the two options, but this still ain’t gonna be fun for you,” he says.

S' okay 🥲 I was a bitch 🥲 I deserve it 🥲 Do with me as you please 🥲🥲🥲

He draws out of your mouth entirely only to force his way back in, making you gag and sputter. You attempt to pull away but Joel keeps his hand firm on your head and holds you right where he wants you. “Nuh-uh. I don’t know where you think you’re goin’, hon.”

“Quiet,” he growls. “Heard fuckin’ enough outta you today. You keep quiet.”

🫡 Sir yes, sir.

“Let it be a lesson to ya, then, if it hurts. That mouth ‘a yours has done nothin’ but bitch and moan at me today. S’a punishment, ain’t ‘sposed to feel good.”

I have really bad news for you, then. Ahem.

“Because if I don’t fuck you,” he says, “Then I’m gonna strangle you. So which would you like?”

“I will wash the fucking sheets. We can add it to the list of all the things I’ve done for ya today, hm?”

Ohhh, he's done done. I just *loved* this bit. The frustration, how fed up he is with the reader. Suddenly you're concerned about causing a little bit of work? Oh, hohoho, no no no. Too fucking late.

Joel had assumed sexual frustration had been playing a role in your attitude today. Cramps, headaches, all sorts of things going on with you and a needy, aching pussy to boot. He does feel sorry for you, but he feels sorry for himself too. It’s why he got his first, but now it’s time for you to get yours. An orgasm should set you straight, or two or three. Whatever he feels is necessary. 

😩 Ma'am. Please. I can only take so much. The hotness in just this ONE paragraph. PLEASE. 😩 "An orgasm should set you straight, or two or three. Whatever he feels is necessary." 🥲 I am a puddle on the floor.

Joel takes his free hand and uses it to press down on your lower stomach, intensifying the feeling of it all. You come hard, gushing on his fingers as you whimper his name.

🫠🙃🫠🙃

“Quiet,” he commands. He begins teasing your slit with his cock once more before he speaks, “So this is what we’re gonna do: you’re gonna take what I give you, however much or little it is. You’re not gonna cry or complain ‘cause you’ve done enough of that today. Right?” Joel pauses, “Nod your head.”

“I know, I know, sweetheart,” he coos at you to quiet you down. “You’re all out of sorts today. M’gonna fix it. I always fix it, don’t I?”

*inhales* - *screams*

He fucks you without discipline, no tenderness at all to the action with those sloppy thrusts, but you’re more lost in him than he is in you - he’s focused on your face, watching you make an ‘O’ with your mouth, and he’s focused on your bouncing body, your twitching thighs spread wide. Your moans, your whimpers and your whines, babbling nothing but nonsense. Joel’s brow is furrowed as he breathes heavily through his teeth, his soft body jerking above you as he hits that sweet spot inside you over and over and over… “It’s all ya needed, isn’t it? The whole goddamn time,” he pants. “Didn’t need to go an’ bitch me out all day if you needed lovin’ like this. Woulda been nice f’ya just said so.”

😶 I have died and am now reading this from the depth of hell. Fuuuuck me!

“Always the tears with you, huh?” he taunts. “Always somethin’. Oh, I know. I know.” 

The fucking "I know"s kill me. Like, I didn't know two simple words like that could do the things to me that they're doing. But here we are. Is that a kink? Is there an "I know" kink? I think I have it.

“You’re gonna tell me what you need,” he instructs, “And you’re gonna ask for it. Nicely. So that means usin’ your manners. Please, Joel. Thank you, Joel. Remember those words?”

You’re surprised when he returns to you, pelvis covered in your blood, and scoops you right up in his arms. He helps you to your feet and on shaky legs, guides you to the bathroom. It no longer smells like bleach but instead, lavender. He’s got a candle lit on the sink and the bathtub is filled with warm, bubbly water. “Picked out a bubble bath for you earlier when I went out. Wanna test it out with me?”

😭😭😭 SAY IT WITH ME: JOEL MILLER IS A FUCKING SAINT. A SAINT THAT FUCKS, BUT A SAINT NONETHELESS.

Christ on a cracker, this was delicious from start to finish. I think you have had a lasting impact on how I see (and am trying to write) smut. 😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨

Thank you indeed. 🙌 A masterpiece!!!!

Seeing Red

“Because if I don’t fuck you,” he says, “Then I’m gonna strangle you. So which would you like?”

Joel’s sorry that your period sucks, but he's reached the end of his rope with your attitude. (6k)

Tags - 18+ smut, brat taming, blow jobs, face fucking, rough period sex, fingering, mating press, overstimulation and multiple orgasms, creampie, aftercare in the form of a shared bubble bath, all things periods and period symptoms so headaches, breast pain, cramps, irritability that reader takes out on Joel. You will feel so bad for being such a cunt to this man but he gets to fill two of your holes with his cum so it all kind of evens out. takes place in jackson Fic help - @beefrobeefcal and @joelsdagger for all of their love and support and eyeballs, @noxturnalpascal and @endlessthxxghts thank you both for being my compass and giving me direction and helping to make this fic perfect. I love you <3 A/N - if you're on your period, i'm sending you a hug <3 if you're not i'm hugging you too

I was reminded of my friend @covetyou's fic "Sleepless" which is a lovely piece of classic literature, just like the rest of her works, and I'd like to credit her for inspo. Thank you Lo 🤎🩷💚

You should have guessed there’d be a bloodstain in your underwear, but despite the headaches, your sore breasts, and your cramping abdomen, you’re surprised when you’re met with rusty red in your panties. Fucking great, you whisper, dripping with sarcasm, this is not what you needed today. You had so many things you wanted to get done and now you were going to be spending the whole day miserable and in pain.

“Joel,” you loudly call out. You wait a beat, nothing. “JOEL,” you yell louder. 

You hear the faint sound of his recliner, the popping of his knees and the creaking of the stairs as he walks up them. His two feet are visible through the space between the floor and the bathroom door and then he knocks, “Whatcha need, darlin’?”

“New underwear,” you answer. “And a pad. Also in the underwear drawer.” 

Joel walks away and returns with what you’ve asked for and slides both items under the door. You change your panties and secure the pad made of old rags and t-shirts with the clothespin attached to it. “You got it?” he asks.

“Yeah,” you reply.

“Guessin’ you just started your cycle, then.” 

“Mhm.” 

“Can I get you anything?”

“Nope,” you answer. “I think I’m just gonna go to bed.” 

“Alright. I’ll join you, then.” 

 You wash your hands and rinse the bloodstain out of your panties with annoyance in the sink, wringing them out before tossing them in the dirty laundry hamper in the bathroom. When you unlock the door and leave the bathroom, Joel’s already asleep in your shared bed. He sleeps curled on his side and yet he still fucking snores - between that and the pain you’re in, you know it won’t be a restful night of sleep. You look at Joel, sleeping peacefully like a baby, and yet you wanna beat the living fucking crap out of him. You curl your body around his, stealing his body heat to soothe your cramps. 

Joel wakes up early the next morning and greets you with a kiss pressed to the side of your head. “Fuck off,” you mumble, your voice is still thick with sleep but he knows you mean it so he lets you sleep in a bit while he cleans the bathroom for you. He works as quietly as he can, scrubbing it and mopping it from top to bottom. He empties the trash can and the laundry hamper, he makes sure there’s a fresh bar of soap and a new washrag for you. Joel’s just finishing up and wiping dust from the mirror when you find him in the bathroom. “Mornin’, sunshine,” he says as he kisses the top of your head. “How do you feel?” 

“Shitty.” You grab at the mirror and Joel’s skin crawls as you touch the glass with your thumb, the smudges left behind from your fingertips clear as day on the freshly cleaned glass. He’ll just touch it up later. You pull out your toothbrush and frown, your nose scrunched in disgust. “It smells like bleach in here,” you complain.

“Well, yeah,” Joel chuckles. “I just cleaned it for ya. ‘Course it smells like bleach.”

“I didn’t ask you to do that,” you mumble. “The bleach you used makes my head hurt worse.”

“Oh,” Joel scratches the back of his head and frowns. “M’sorry, then. Well, we can let it air out for a while, we’ll leave the fan on. Shouldn’t smell for more than a day or so.”

“Yeah, I guess.”

If looks could fuckin’ kill, Joel thinks. You’re glaring at him. He takes that as his cue to leave. You shrink away from him as he gently brushes your arm when he walks past, then shut the door loudly behind him. Ouch. Joel knows not to take it personally, though. You’re crampy, but you’re also probably hungry. He’ll make you breakfast, something with protein because he knows you need it. 

He cleans the kitchen first. He washes the dirty dishes you must’ve forgotten about last night and wipes crumbs from the table. As you come downstairs dressed in sweats and a shirt you stole from Joel, he’s finishing up making your breakfast. “Sit down, I made your favorite.” 

You sit down at the table with your head in your hands. Joel puts a plate with two slices of perfectly golden brown toast and two over-easy eggs in front of you, then a fork and a knife on either side. He fills a glass with water for you as well. He walks away to clean up the stove, then turns around to check on you. Your face is contorted in disgust and you’re not eating. “What’s the matter?”

“I don’t want this,” you grouse.

“But s’your favorite. You love your eggs over easy,” Joel says. “And the toast, that’s fresh bread and butter. Eat up.” 

“Yeah, but I wanted scrambled.” 

Joel stares at you for a moment, dumbfounded. You usually hate scrambled eggs, and he knows this. But you’re not smirking or holding back laughter like you’re fucking with him. So maybe your tastes have changed, who knows. “Okay. Would you like me to make you scrambled eggs instead, then?”

“Yes,” you mumble in a small voice. 

“I didn’t hear ya, sweetheart. Speak up, please.” 

“I said yes,” you snap. 

Your clipped tone cuts like a knife. Joel bites his inner cheek as he takes your plate from you. He quickly scarfs down the perfectly cooked eggs and toast as he makes you a new plate of breakfast, this time with scrambled eggs. He places it in front of you with a little less care than before and waits for you to take a bite. “Better?”

“Just okay.” 

‘Just okay’. Of course you think it’s ‘just okay’, they’re scrambled fucking eggs - which you don’t like. You’re just being - 

Joel needs to cool off. Hopefully once you’ve eaten you’re a little less irritable. “I’m gonna head out an’ do some errands. Be back shortly,” He’s met with no answer from you, which he expected. 

-

He comes back an hour or so later with a few things from the market he’s been needing along with a couple of VHS tapes that he rented from the library. “So,” Joel says, “I picked out some movies for ya.” He lays four tapes down on the coffee table in front of the couch where you lay. “When Harry Met Sally, that’s a good one,” he begins, “Next is How To Lose a Guy In 10 Days, then Blade Runner, and I picked out My Cousin Vinny,” Joel says. He thinks you’re gonna pick out Blade Runner because it stars Harrison Ford, who he knows you have a thing for. “My Cousin Vinny is pretty good, I don’t think we’ve seen that one yet f’ya wanna give that a try.”

“Mmm, no.” 

Shot down. “Okay. How ‘bout Blade Runner, then. S’got Indiana Jones in -”

“No. I don’t care,” you interrupt, which hurts Joel’s feelings a little. A lot, actually. “I wanna watch this one,” you point to How To Lose a Guy In 10 Days. “He’s cute.” 

Of course you picked the Matthew McConaughey movie. God, Joel fucking hated him. He always seemed so skeezy, if there’s anyone who should’ve bit it on Outbreak Day, it should’ve been Matthew McConaughey. “Yeah, okay. Whatever. Do you think he’s dreamy too?”

“Fuck off, Joel.” 

So teasing’s off the table too, he’ll add that to the list of things that have pissed you off today. Joel turns on the TV and puts the tape in the VHS player before he sits back down next to you. At first you rest on his shoulder, then you spread out and lay your head on his lap. It’s not long before you fall asleep on Joel, leaving him to watch this dumb fucking movie all by himself because god forbid he move you and disrupt your nap. He knows better than to do that. 

-

“So fuckin’ stupid,” Joel whispers to himself as the movie plays, though he did find himself enjoying the part where the Kate Hudson sings “You’re So Vain” by Carly Simon. He always did like that song. 

“Mmmm,” you groan, shifting onto your back. Joel’s hand is stroking your hair as you look up at him, but you push it away. “You’re too close to me,” you grumble. 

“What’re you talkin’ about?” 

“You’re crowding me. I feel smothered.” 

Joel scoffs. “Oh, you feel smothered? You’re the one who laid on me.” Once again, your glare is all that you need to say. “Alright then, I’ll move.” Joel concedes. He lifts your head gently and scoots down to the opposite end of the couch. And then he hears you huff. “What?”

“Well, now I don’t have a pillow.” 

Joel sighs as he gets up to grab a throw pillow from the opposite couch. 

“The other one.” 

You’re referring to the other throw pillow that’s absolutely indistinguishable from the one currently in Joel’s hand, but he gets it for you anyway. “Lift your head,” he says softly, putting the pillow under you. He sits back down in the spot you made him move to as you both watch the movie play, but your soft groans interrupt. You’re no doubt in pain from all the cramps right now. “I’ve got somethin’ like a heating pad,” Joel says, looking at you. “S’a big sock filled with rice, I heat it up and use it for neck and back pain. Would that help with them cramps?” You nod without making any effort to meet Joel’s eyes, which he finds a little rude. But still, you’re hurting. He’ll give you grace. 

So, once again, Joel gets up for you. He goes upstairs to get his rice sock from his nightstand, then comes back downstairs and heats it in the microwave for a couple of minutes. He pokes the sock to make sure it’s plenty warm for you and then gives it to you to take. “Here,” he says, “Hold it on your tummy.”

“JESUS,” you yell at him. 

“What?”

“It’s too fucking hot, Joel, why would you make it so hot?” 

 “Just give it a second, sweetheart, you’ll get used to it.” 

“No. It was burning me.” 

“Okay, then let me have it and we’ll let it cool off a minute. Christ almighty.” Joel takes the sock back from you, and he knows his hands are pretty calloused but…it doesn’t feel that hot. When a few minutes have passed, he gives it back to you. “This should be better.” 

You lay the big, warm stuffed sock across your stomach and frown. “It’s not warm enough.” 

“You have gotta be kiddin’ me.” 

“Mm-mm,” you shake your head, giving Joel back his sock like you just assume he’ll heat it up again for you. 

“Just a couple minutes ago you screamed bloody murder about it burnin’ you. And now it’s not hot enough?”

“Yeah, that’s what I said.” When Joel doesn’t jump immediately to reheat the sock for you, you look at him impatiently. “Joel.” 

“You can ask, you know.” 

But Joel gets the hint and gets up for you a third time to reheat the sock he’s letting you borrow. You don’t say please, and when he returns with the sock reheated, there’s no thank you either. What does he get from you? “It’s too hot.”

“Then tell me how I should rectify that for you, because last time I let it cool off and it wasn’t warm enough for ya after.” 

“I don’t know,” you snap. “You’re just really upsetting me right now. Everything hurts and your voice is grating.”

“I’m upsetting you?” Joel repeats your words back to you. “And my voice is grating.” 

“Yes.” 

He’s about at his wits end. “You know, you–” Joel decides not to finish that sentence. Instead, he sighs as he pinches the bridge of his nose and breathes out on the count of five. “Two, three, four…You need to drink some water. S’your first issue, you’re probably dehydrated. Did you drink any water?” 

“It’s not your business.”

 Jesus fucking Christ. “Okay, well I’m makin’ it my business.” Joel gets up for the fourth goddamn time and slams the cup cabinet before filling a glass with water from the sink. He marches back to the couch, “Sit up,” he says. “Drink.” 

“I don’t want to,” you whine. 

“It’ll fix your headache. Drink.” 

“It won’t actually, that’s a myth.” 

“Right, what do I know when you’ve got an answer for fuckin’ everything. Drink.” 

You sit up, scowling at Joel as you take a sip. 

“All of it.” 

You drink the rest of it, glaring at him the whole time. He’s so full of shit, as if any of what you’re going through could be fixed by drinking a glass of water. Water won’t fix your cramps, won’t fix your aching and sore back. When you’re done, you slam the glass on the end table next to you and in doing so, break Joel’s reading glasses. Oops. Didn’t see those. The lenses aren’t shattered, but one of the arms is all bent now. When you look at Joel, he’s biting his bottom lip and breathing deeply. “Your glasses broke.” 

“Yeah. I see that.” 

“I didn’t mean to,” you tell him defensively.

“Right.” 

“But you really shouldn’t leave your glasses there, Joel.”

“Yeah, right. Shouldn’t leave my glasses on the end table,” Joel says. “I should leave them where, exactly? Maybe the floor?” 

“Somewhere else.” 

“Right. Somewhere else.” 

He’s hoping that by repeating your words back to you, you start to hear how absolutely ridiculous you sound. But you don’t seem to. Joel turns and walks away before he fucking throttles you. 

“Can you put on the next movie? I wanna watch My Cousin Vinny.”

Now, now you want to watch that movie. And Joel’s gonna miss out, because he can’t stand to be around you for one minute longer. “Are your legs broken?” 

“Yes.” 

Walked into that one. “You’re fuckin’ impossible. Fine. I’ll put it on, then I’m goin’ away for a bit.” 

“Good.”

Oh, he could fucking kill you. This whole day he’s heard nothing but complaints from your mouth, no pleases or thank you’s at all. Everything he’s done today has been for you, and you couldn’t give a flying fuck. 

Joel puts on the movie, grabs his bent glasses from the end table and heads out to the garage without saying a single word to you. You wonder what bug crawled up his ass. 

-

My Cousin Vinny plays just fine until Vinny shows up in his ridiculous suit to the courthouse. The tape begins to skip a whole bunch, the movie barely making sense, and you have no idea how to fix it - not that it’s your job to know, anyway. So you call out the name of the man whose job it is. 

“Joel.” 

No answer. 

“JOELLLL,” you yell. 

Same deal. You sigh as you sit up and get off of the couch, walking to the garage door. There’s finally a break in your cramps and you’re feeling halfway-human for the first time since yesterday. Entering the garage, you find Joel sitting at his workbench, he’s working on bending the frame of his glasses back into shape. “Joel.” 

He doesn’t turn around to look at you and in fact, he heard you calling for him. He had just ignored you. “Looks like your legs are workin’ now,” Joel replies, without looking at you. “S’a miracle. Means you can follow me around now, terrific.”

You choose to ignore his sarcasm. “Whatever. You need to do something for me. The VCR is messing up and you have to fix it.”

“Hm,” he hums.

“What’s hm?” 

“I’ve fixed lotsa things for you today,” he says quietly. “I need some time to fix my glasses that you broke. S’a difficult task on account of the fact I need my glasses to see.”

“You can do me one favor, Joel. It won’t kill you.” 

Joel stops and gently places his broken glasses on his work bench. He turns to his right and glares daggers at you. “One favor,” he scoffs. “Oh, you’re a fuckin’ peach. You wanna try that again?”

“Try what again?” 

You’re fucking with him. You have to be fucking with him. Why are you fucking with him? You’re not antagonistic like this, not usually, so he concludes that you must be looking for a fight. At this point, Joel is too. 

“I’ve done you countless favors today, sweetheart,” Joel gripes.

“Yeah, but-” you begin.

Joel’s large, warm hand suddenly covers the lower half of your face, silencing your argument. “If the next words outta this mouth aren’t thank you, then I don’t wanna hear ‘em. In fact…”

He bites his inner cheek, nodding his head as he thinks. The way he stares at you, his dark eyes piercing through you - you feel the chill deep in your bones. A wave of clarity hits you as you recall some of the details of the day, the way Joel was there at every turn and while you were busy being cranky and achey, he was trying to wait on you hand and foot. Shit. You’ve been a Grade-A bitch to him all day, a total fucking cunt.

Breaking the silence, Joel finally clears his throat and continues his thought, “I’m gonna give you two options,” Joel says. “You can walk the fuck away from me, or you can get on your knees. Whichever you choose, you do so silently. Nod if you understand.” 

It’s like you’re watching a scene from a movie. You hear Joel’s words, but you almost don’t believe they’re real and so they don’t quite register. He pulls his hand away from your face slowly. Your mouth falls open a bit but you don’t say or do anything.

“Nod. If. You. Understand.” You nod quickly. Joel awaits your decision as you look at the garage door and contemplate your clean way out from this situation, “So what’ll it be?” he asks. Despite it all, that uneasy feeling in your gut, you drop to your knees anyway, eyes still lingering on the door before you look up at Joel. You trust him to take care of you and you think you might owe him this obedience after your behavior today. “You’ve earned yourself brownie points choosin’ the latter of the two options, but this still ain’t gonna be fun for you,” he says. It should scare you - and it does - but you’re still thrilled by it, by the way he sighs and his knees crack as he gets off of his barstool, by the cold look in his eyes as he reaches under his thick belly to unbuckle his belt. Standing above you, he pulls out his half-hard cock and pumps it, feeling it grow to full length in his hand. He’s thick, veiny, and generously sized, a pearly white bead of precum sits atop his slit. His cock is just an inch or two away from your mouth as he holds it between his fingers, his thumb on top and middle and forefingers on the underside. With his other hand, he cards his fingers through your hair and pulls you close, the tip of his cock pressing against your lips. “Open.”

You part your lips open and with that, Joel pushes himself into your mouth inch by inch. You smell him first, that musky and heady sort of scent. Next, you taste the saltiness of his skin and his precome on your tongue and for a moment it’s pleasurable, with his cock halfway in your mouth. You wrap your hand around the end of his shaft like you know what he wants but you don’t know, not really - Joel holds your hand in his own and squeezes it so that your knuckles grind against each other a little bit. He pushes himself further and you can’t lick him or savor this like you wanted to, you just feel his cock intruding, sliding into your mouth. Joel’s testing you, making sure that you can handle all of him and if you can’t, you know he’ll make you. 

He draws out of your mouth entirely only to force his way back in, making you gag and sputter. You attempt to pull away but Joel keeps his hand firm on your head and holds you right where he wants you. “Nuh-uh. I don’t know where you think you’re goin’, hon.” 

There’s no gentleness to it, he fucks your mouth heatedly so that you’re drooling and choking on him, your eyes springing with tears as that pressure builds behind them. “Breathe through your nose,” he reminds you. “In and out. You ain’t done jus’ ‘cause you’re cryin’.” Your lips are sore with the repeated action, your jaw is aching. He rolls his hips, his cock is deep down your throat as he relishes in your warm, wet mouth and the way it makes him feel. 

“Mmm,” you moan, you’re not sure if the noise is indicative of your pleasure or discomfort.

“Quiet,” he growls. “Heard fuckin’ enough outta you today. You keep quiet.”

Your nose is buried in that thatch of coarse curls as he rocks his hips over and over, his soft and pillowy tummy bouncing against your forehead. You squirm and whine as his tip teases the back of your throat and your mouth feels so full, uncomfortably so. Joel picks up on that. “Let it be a lesson to ya, then, if it hurts. That mouth ‘a yours has done nothin’ but bitch and moan at me today. S’a punishment, ain’t ‘sposed to feel good.” 

He’s grunting and groaning, eyes screwed shut as he uses you, pumping in and out of your mouth. Your jaw aches with the brutality of the way he fucks your mouth, and just as you think you can’t take anymore, you feel Joel’s cock begin to twitch and pulse. He comes in your mouth without a warning, painting your tongue with his hot spend. It’s salty and bitter and warm on your tongue. Once you’ve swallowed, Joel reaches down and yanks you up by your bicep. He thought fucking your mouth and coming down your throat would make him feel better but honestly, it doesn’t. As he looks at your face, all puffy with tears and swollen lips, he can’t quite find it in himself to let go of his anger. Not yet, at least. “Let’s go,” he grunts as he drags you with him towards the garage door. He marches you though the house and up the stairs. 

“Where are we going?”

“Bedroom,” Joel growls, answering your question like it’s obvious. You suppose it should be, but you figured he was done with you. But he’s not. The regret begins to set in when you realize the retribution you’re about to be met with for the way you’ve treated Joel today. You’d be lying if you said that while wallowing in your pain you didn’t notice how your curt tone got under his skin, hurt his feelings and frustrated him immensely. The dread you feel can’t save you, it’s all too late now. 

 “Because if I don’t fuck you,” he says, “Then I’m gonna strangle you. So which would you like?”

“Fuck me,” you whisper. 

“Exactly.” 

Joel pushes you into the bedroom and locks the door behind himself. “Lie down on your back,” he says. 

You protest, “But the sheets, Joel. The blood–”

“I will wash the fucking sheets. We can add it to the list of all the things I’ve done for ya today, hm?”

When you don’t jump at his request, Joel takes initiative. He pulls off your - his - shirt from your body and then bends you over the end of the neatly made bed, the old and worn comforter feels rough on the skin of your cheek. Joel pulls down your sweatpants and panties in one motion and then flips you over onto your back, your legs hanging off the end of the bed. You feel embarrassed when you catch a glimpse of your bloodied pad and underwear, moreso when you feel yourself making a mess on his bedding and between your legs. 

“You didn’t make yourself come today, did you?”

“Uhh–” you stutter. “I - I…”

“No point in gettin’ bashful now, darlin’. Just gimme an answer.”

“No,” you tell him. It’s been a while. 

“Figures.”

Joel had assumed sexual frustration had been playing a role in your attitude today. Cramps, headaches, all sorts of things going on with you and a needy, aching pussy to boot. He does feel sorry for you, but he feels sorry for himself too. It’s why he got his first, but now it’s time for you to get yours. An orgasm should set you straight, or two or three. Whatever he feels is necessary. 

Joel undresses himself before pushing your thighs apart and hitching your legs around his waist. Slowly, he slides his thumb through your folds and then circles your clit. He knows you’re vulnerable like this - bleeding pussy on display for him as you make a mess of his sheets. But he’s patient, and he massages your clit calmly until you finally let a moan, a little mmm slip. He smirks at that. 

He pushes his middle two fingers inside you, pumping in and out slowly. He then curls his fingers, searching for that sweet spot on a woman he loves so much. “Fuck,” you cry out, legs instinctually closing shut around him, and he knows he’s found it. 

“Don’t fight it,” he says, opening you back up. He curls his fingers and circles your clit in tandem, making all sorts of lewd noises with your cunt. He admires your body all laid out for him like this, your breasts and your pebbled nipples, soft tummy rising and falling with your breathy oh’s and ahh’s, thick curls framing your pretty pussy like a picture just for him. Joel takes his free hand and uses it to press down on your lower stomach, intensifying the feeling of it all. You come hard, gushing on his fingers as you whimper his name. 

Joel pulls his fingers from your core and wipes them haphazardly on his own torso. “Joel,” you gasp when you feel the thick head of his cock at your entrance.

“I am sorry,” he begins, notching his tip inside you and popping it out. He slides the blunt head through your folds and over your clit, then taps the sensitive part of you with himself. “That you’re in pain. It isn’t fair and I know that. But you’ve done nothing but take your hurt out on me.” He presses himself inside you again, “I’ve got a half a mind to take my own hurt out on you, y’know.” His voice is dark and angered, but he speaks calmly in a way that contrasts the darkness but maintains his authority all the same. “And I think I’m gonna.”

“Joel, I– ”

“Quiet,” he commands. He begins teasing your slit with his cock once more before he speaks, “So this is what we’re gonna do: you’re gonna take what I give you, however much or little it is. You’re not gonna cry or complain ‘cause you’ve done enough of that today. Right?” Joel pauses, “Nod your head.” 

 You obey his rule and nod, yes.

He drags his cock up and down your cunt again, the soft skin of your labia rubbing so nicely against his thickness. He notches himself inside you over and over again, pushing in a little bit deeper each time and pulling back out. You whine, rolling your hips in search of more. “I know, I know, sweetheart,” he coos at you to quiet you down. “You’re all out of sorts today. M’gonna fix it. I always fix it, don’t I?”

Yes. You nod again. Quiet.

“S’right,” he says. “Good girl.”

With that, Joel pushes his leaking cock into you entirely, one gradual slide that has you sucking in a breath that comes out in a strained sort of whimper. His hard, warm shaft parting your insides, filling you whole. Joel hears it in the way that you sigh, that this, this is what you needed. He rocks his hips once, twice. Experiments with shallow thrusts, inching his way in and out of you before he draws out of your pussy entirely only to thrust himself right back in, deeper and harder than before. 

With the fullness of Joel inside of you, everything seems to melt away - all that anger, misplaced or not. Joel’s rhythmic thrusting soothes you, sort of. The soreness of your body, the aching cramps in your abdomen are all gone as you focus on the in and out, the in and out. He builds a comfortable pace, but one that borders on too much too soon. His hands on your waist, pulling you towards him as he pushes into you in equal measure. 

He fucks you without discipline, no tenderness at all to the action with those sloppy thrusts, but you’re more lost in him than he is in you - he’s focused on your face, watching you make an ‘O’ with your mouth, and he’s focused on your bouncing body, your twitching thighs spread wide. Your moans, your whimpers and your whines, babbling nothing but nonsense. Joel’s brow is furrowed as he breathes heavily through his teeth, his soft body jerking above you as he hits that sweet spot inside you over and over and over…

“It’s all ya needed, isn’t it? The whole goddamn time,” he pants. “Didn’t need to go an’ bitch me out all day if you needed lovin’ like this. Woulda been nice f’ya just said so.” Joel reaches for your breasts, harshly squeezing the tender, sore flesh. You wince in pain and he loosens his grip, focusing on your nipples instead. He twists and flicks the sensitive buds and your moans become louder, more high pitched. Joel fucking loves it when that happens, you never realized. 

“Oh, Joel,” you moan, “Yeah, fuck.” 

With one hand still teasing your nipples, he brings the other to your pussy. A few strokes of his thumb on your clit is all it takes to send you over the edge a second time, wanton moans and choked sobs spilling from your lips as he fucks you through it. 

And fucks you, and fucks you. 

And keeps fucking you. 

It doesn’t end, he doesn’t slow himself and you never feel that come down, that descent from pleasure. It keeps going, like pressure with nowhere to go and you feel like you might break. “I can’t, I need you to stop, stop, Joel.”

“Nuh-uh,” he shakes his head, thrusting still. “You can take it, be a good girl. Gonna fuck you good and deep like you need. You brought this on yourself, anyway. Two more.” 

This whole time, he doesn’t stop. It’s so much at once and when you thought it was going to end, it doesn’t. Tears of overstimulation spring in your eyes and flow freely down your cheeks. Joel lets you cry because he knows you need it, he knows the release is good for you. You poor thing, how much you must be feeling right now, both physically and mentally. “It’s too much, Joel, I can’t,” you plead.

 “Always the tears with you, huh?” he taunts. “Always somethin’. Oh, I know. I know.” 

It’s the way you look at Joel that causes him to cave, eyes all wide and tear-stained. You’re spent and he knows it, what with all that your body’s put you through. You’ve had a rough day and though he did too, he can’t help but feel sympathy for you at this moment. “Oh, my sweet girl. What am I gonna do with you, hm?”

“I don’t know,” you sniffle. 

“Know you don’t, ‘n you don’t have to. S’my job,” he soothes. With his clean hand, he traces the side of your face and rubs his thumb over your cheekbone. “How about this, then - what are we gonna do next time you’re not feeling so good?” 

“I’m - I’m–”

“You’re gonna tell me what you need,” he instructs, “And you’re gonna ask for it. Nicely. So that means usin’ your manners. Please, Joel. Thank you, Joel. Remember those words?”

“Yeah,” you nod, “Yeah, I remember.”

 “But you forgot ‘em the whole day today,” Joel says softly. “I think you gotta learn to compromise, too,” he adds. The guilt had begun to set in before, but you really start to feel the burn now. You were unkind to Joel, and he’s been nothing but sweet, doting on every one of your needs. “I think an apology’s in order for the way you treated me today.” 

He’s right, and you know it. “I’m sorry. I’m really sorry, Joel.”

“Oh, I know you are. You just needed the reminder, s’okay,” You hadn’t even noticed how his thrusting had slowed to a still until it picks up again slowly, as he presses kisses to you. Your cheeks first, then your lips. “I’ll compromise too - I’m only gonna make you come one more time, not two. Sound good? Sound fair?”

“I don’t think I can, Joel…”

“Yeah, you can, s’the last one. Take it good for me,” he encourages. “Take it good.” 

That’s what he repeats as his thrusts build again, fucking you deeply. Take it good, take it good for me. He hikes you up further on the bed and joins you so that he’s no longer standing at the floor, he’s got you pressed in half instead, your knees on either side of your chest and your feet above his shoulders. This angle intensifies everything and he knows, oh he knows how much it is for you. You’re tired, sore, overstimulated. But you’ll be done soon, he’ll be done with you soon. He takes your hand and wedges it between your bodies, pressing your own fingers to your clit, “Let go for me, I wanna feel you let go for me,” he says. “Focus right here. You’re gonna come with me, keep your eyes on me…”

You don’t even have to massage your clit, the way Joel angles himself has his body doing all the work, his pubic bone adding pressure to your fingers adding pressure to your clit. It’s intense, all of it - deeply energetic, overwhelming. You can’t quite discern your orgasm as it builds, there’s no definitive start but it’s powerful, devastating almost. Washing over you in waves, you feel it in the base of your spine first. You feel it in your gut, the backs of your thighs all the way to your toes. You hardly register that he’s coming with you, filling you deep with his come. His jaw is clenched tight and he’s groaning, grunting as he milks himself in you.

He leaves you there, whimpering, twitching on the bed. You hear the faint sound of running water, you figure he’s washing himself off. You’re surprised when he returns to you, pelvis covered in your blood, and scoops you right up in his arms. He helps you to your feet and on shaky legs, guides you to the bathroom. It no longer smells like bleach but instead, lavender. He’s got a candle lit on the sink and the bathtub is filled with warm, bubbly water. “Picked out a bubble bath for you earlier when I went out. Wanna test it out with me?” 

“Yeah,” you sniffle. “Yes. Please.” 

Joel sits in the tub first, spreads his legs and welcomes you to sit between them. He washes the blood from your poor, sensitive core and your thighs, washes it from his own body as well. When he’s done, he pulls you back into his chest and his hands find your breasts. “They’re tender, huh,” he murmurs into the side of your head. 

“Super, yeah. Sore.” 

“I’ll bet,” he says. He gently massages the tissue for you, his strong hands working you out in a way you can’t quite do. 

“Thank you,” you whisper. 

Joel chuckles. “Bout fuckin’ time you thanked me,” he says. “You’re welcome.” 

If you enjoyed, please reblog with thoughts, leave me a comment, or send me an ask! Your words motivate me to keep writing for you all 🩷

Least helpful cats award goes to these two 👇 if you’ve ever wondered what takes me so long to put fics out, it’s this. I try to write and I’m cockblocked by these fuzzballs.

[indigo474]

~taking a deep dive~

In a lot of ways i feel like i am back where i started. How is that possible? It's really not. I'm not the same person i was when i started. But, here i am learning about myself and continuously taking a deep look at myself and my behavior. 5 years ago i was in a much different head space.. much different. anyway..this week i havent had a much time alone as i usually do. MAdison is just always there. I have my early morning before she gets home but even that time is interrupted. it's been an adjustment for me.. which is funny because i'm not the one working that shift. I woke up to an "i made us breakfast" text.. which is so sweet, i mean, i cant be angry about that. i did tell her i needed some alone time today which worked out good because she had to lay down.. an adjustment. the truth is i can always retreat into my room and shut my door. I had my yearly review. it went well. i thought my manager was fair. I was a little surprised at how is was actually conducted and my manager kept saying i usually dont do them this way... i'm not really sure why she would do my review differently than any other one. i am not well liked by the other supervisors..it's weird because as a lead an a rep i was well liked. "they" feel a certain way because of who my supervisor is.. apparently i am untouchable- i don't care- i did- but i don't anymore. i wouldn't be friends with any of them. i'm getting a new team member. I was approached on Monday and told the transition would happen sometime this week.. In the past, if i didnt hear anything, i would ask this person when we were going to have this meeting. I would pretty much push for the meeting and make this person settle on a time and date.. my anxiety needed to know when the meeting would take place.. this person likes to have long, late meetings and i just cant stay late because i have to workout. Also this person thinks we should all be staying after our shifts and get annoyed when he sees supervisors leaving at 5.. well, i didnt push for the meeting and it didnt happen. i hate that i work for a company where the upper management says things, but doesnt do them. how about just letting me know the meeting wasnt going to happen this week.

i saw a cute guy at the gym today. no ring. maybe i should start going to the gym. my music played at the gym, but wont when im outside. i lifted 205 with the hex bar- apparently that is easier than the straight bar. i had a killer arm workout.. ouch but in a good way. I had dinner with Marci- she tells me she just knows i will meet a good man- she absolutely knows it will happen.. so sweet... she doesnt say much about her man. i have yet to meet him and the few things she has told me well.. im starting to think maybe something... but then again i'm weird but also.. Marci is a little clueless when it comes to domestic abuse and narcissistic behavior.. which is weird because she's educated in mental health.. when they went on vacation together, he drove, and she said he scared her in the car. she only told me after i questioned her about the drive... she originally said the drive was horrible.. he kind of just came in and swept her off her feet.. maybe that happens? it was everything all at once and there wasnt even really a getting to know you period.. and he knew she was going away with me, we planned it well in advance.. the day were coming back he surprised her with tickets to some sort of show... he didnt ask her, he told her.. i got these tickets.. we were now on a timeline because he lives 2+ hrs away and she had to drive to him.. to me, it seemed odd. i would want to me asked if i wanted to go especially after being away for a few days.. it was also weird how all of a sudden she didn't want to go out dancing.. she planned the trip around us going to the club and at the last minute she didnt feel like going.. i wonder if he had something to do with that??? she also does not like to be alone... so, i worry about her and GOD i hope this guy is as great as he appears to be.. the car thing.. a total dick move..

i think i might be going to london. ive decided, i am going to be delusional... about my life. I am going to radically believe that everything my heart desires is on its way to me... everything.. i am in my winning season. Ohhh and i am officially officially obsessed with my ass.. it's been going on for a few months now.. but dam. My ass looks good.. i cant stop grabbing my own ass.. i am hoping to find someone who is as obsessed with my ass as i am..

Kika is my girl and i love her.