#man who just put on his packer for the day

[maxxmutt]

Having a good gender moment and I wanna say that I love trans joy and gender euphoria this shit kicks ass

[forcemasculinisation]

I agree with the anon asking about T-dick. We need more content.

Imagine bumping into a girl one day who looks like she's trying to look like a guy but doing a poor job of it. She's got half a used tube of low dose T-cream, wears a jock and a packer and binds. It's the not quite short enough hair and voice that tips you off.

A perfect candidate to be forcemasced perhaps?

Trigger Warnings: Dubious consent.

I'd say shes already on her way to being easily manipulated, pretty malleable even. He just needs that extra push to know what's best for him.

Once you get to know her, she piles on excuses about her appearance. Her shaggy hair covers half her face, like she is insecure about her soft features. She swears she binds for some sort of personal preference, and takes T to help her gain an advantage in track. There's no point in justifying the silicone dick between her legs; but she still finds a way to try and convince you. It puts her in the right mindset - that's all.

You take stronger medication than her, enanthate injections, and you eventually coax out of her that she's curious about it. Says she's always been curious about upping her dose, but scared about the effects. You give her the illusion of consent by letting her know, casually, of some of the major changes she could see. Thicker and longer body hair. A much deeper voice. Coarser skin and less curves. You joke with her that an increased sex drive is another common effect, and his eyes subtly widen at that.

Soon enough, months of her straddling you as you push your needle into her skin go by. You're already starting to see major changes, and soon enough a man stands before you. His hair is still long, shoulder length by the time facial hair starts to show, but - seemingly on her own accord - he buzzes it off. She still seems uncomfortable with such sudden changes, as anyone would be, but it's your job to assure him that it's all fine. She'll still be straight if she presents this way, and straight guys love masculine girls (a sweet lie, of course, but how else will you pursuade him?).

It's fun to watch him flush as you call him a good man (a good boy, occasionally) for taking his shots so well. You get to introduce him as your mate, your boy to others, using he/him pronouns, and watch with pride as his protests of "I'm actually a girl" falter with every moment.

Social transition is the hardest. But he'll get there soon enough. He's your boy toy now.

[bougiebutchbinch]

Hey hai, sorry for the long ask but I wanted to hand deliver a snippet to you if that's okay, cus I'm half way through the stone trans top logan fic and am way too excited to finish it (obviously you don't have to post this, I'm just writin for sillys :3 and I wish I could put a -read more- cut in an ask)

Logan was sick and tired of Wade. Well, not Wade, he could never get tired of Wade, he was tired of Wade's non-stop never-ending jokes. Well, some of the jokes-

Dammit he was pissed off at Wade's sex jokes.

He was always putting jokes everywhere where they didn't belong and usually Logan just ignored him, but in the past few days the jokes were getting less and less varied in their subject. All about how good a fuck would be and all the things he would do to Logan in bed and Logan had to stop himself from growling whenever the man even joked about his dick anywhere near Logan.

Sure it wasn't Wade's fault he felt his way, but nothing was going inside him, and that was final.

And one night they were down at a bar, neither drinking much, Logan needed to cut down on his alcohol and Wade was enjoying sipping at his stupid fruity cocktail.

He scowled as he brought his beer back up to his lips.

Wade had brought his suit mask, pulled up to his nose as he sipped, wearing some shitty hawiian shirt or oter, obnoxious kahki shorts that clashed horrendously, knee high white socks with sneakers, and he didnt know what the fuck kinda look wade was going for but it sure was something, logan just chose to come out in his flannel and tank top and jeans, his outfit he felt most comfortable in, although the jeans were pissing him the hell off too, maybe that was just because they couldnt hold the shape of his packer and it looked like he had no dick, he really hated to admit how self concoius he felt going round outside when he felt he didnt look right.

But he could distract himself from those feelings by letting himself get pissed off by wade.

Wade, who now he had tuned back into the mans ramblings, he realised he was talking about logan, apparently his favourite topic of conversation,

“Y’know I'm not a natural bottom, but I'd be willing to do anything for you, babygirl!”

Logan just turned his head round very slowly, ever so slight fuzz of alcohol feeling comforting instead of drowning,

“Yeah yeah haha, real funny wade.”

Wade looked over at him with a grin, this was the first time Logan replied to him all night,

“Who said I was joking peanut?”

Logan hesitated for a moment before scoffing,

“Take off your mask and look me in the eyes while you say that and I might just believe you.”

SKDJFGKLJDSFGSDF I AM ABOUT TO GO TO UNI YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO MEEEE

I have to sit in lectures all day and pretend I'm not thinking about Wade getting absolutely fucking WRECKED. this is going to haunt me. haunt me. :screams:

Also I love how every time Wade says 'not a natural bottom' you can just TELL he is lying. The lady doth protest too much, etc. etc. etc.

Logan's packer-woes are relatable, lmaoooo. I love him and I am so excited for this. Seriously. Thank you and everyone else who's also latched onto this headcanon - having more rep with the character I'm majorly projecting onto really does mean the world!

I can tell this fic is gonna be great fun already.... I can't wait.

[eldrytchcryptid]

"You gotta enjoy every part of your transition, you're still becoming a man now - even without it."

-a very wise trans girl

I've been waiting almost a decade to start testosterone, and finally having a date for my gender appointment has made me... almost ignore all the euphoric changes (and all the weird and funny changes) happening in my transition as a trans man. So I thought I'd make a list of pre-t stuff! I might add more later - or y'all can add some too!

Socially transitioning

- feeling I gotta make sure to let ladies go first (on the bus, through doors etc)

- "Ma'am?" "Who??? Oh right. Uh yeah no." / "Deadname?" "DEADNAME?" "WHO ARE YOU TALKING TO RN - oh lol."

- oh god am I making her nervous DUDE STOP BEING WEIRD *I'm literally just walking home and it's dark* BE LESS WEIRD *aaaAaaAAA*

- *mmm boobs* *AAAA IM LOOKING AVERT AVERT AVERT*

- am i still allowed to say hi and pull faces at cute babies or is it weird cause I'm a dude now?? Am I creepy?? But kids! Kids are fun!!

- *on dating apps* oh god this is so different now I have to come up with conversation oh god oh no

- yes let me pick up these heavy chairs for you ma'am yes I am helpful I am a valid man now / yes let me get this thing off this high shelf even tho I'm only 5'7

- *watching videos of me a year ago* oh shit I actually speak lower now w/o T

- that crunchy morning / cold-ridden / drunk low rumbling voice 😩👌

With a (stp) packer

- *upon putting it on* oh oh it's a dick holy shit yes

- *upon taking it off at the end of the day* 😭 noooooo my dick my broski I miss you already

- the fcking toilet seat

- aim aIM GOD NO nOT THERE

- I really hope I don't look like I'm hard rn

- *need to adjust* *no I'm disgusting don't look at me*

- *upon crossing legs* oh shit I can't wait hold up it's in the way *has to change way to cross legs*

- manspreading?? Am I spread too much??? help

- these trousers as tight af but my dick looks amazing right now

- left or right. Too far up wait *searches pictures of dudes to find out where to put my dick

- *touches whilst sat chilling at home* fren. safe. i love u pp

- *squish* *wiggle*

- *I will hit you with my penis as an threat*

Minoxidil (pre-t beard growth)

- *stroking beard* hheeeeeee fluffyyyy

- RAZOR BURN ITCHY

- researching how tf to shave cause apparently i can't fuckin do it right

- stubble???? Itch???? Euphoria???

- *strokes* hmmm yes indeed

- gotta fuckin use twice the face wash cause I'm essentially shampooing at this point

Body

- huh yea guess that's me (instead of hatred/disgust)

- yeeeee hairy legsssss

- cis guys wish they had this ass dude

- need musle gib *too chronic fatigued to work out*

- mm yes men's clothes (on top half w/binder)

- mm no men's clothes (thighs and ass too strong 🥲)

- shoes make me taller let's fucking go

- men have tits too right? Ye man I just got man tits

- *stroking the mirror like I'm Mulan* am I just a gross man? Is this my fate?

- strapon. just. strapon.

[bullet-prooflove]

Wife Number Nine: Young!Les Packer x Reader

Part of the Young!LesPacker Fallen Star Series

Companion piece to Stolen Kisses & Sheets

Tagging: @kishie8 @aaa111aaa222 @oureternalbond @kirisimpster @words-and-seeds @thump31 @thandesa91 @lifeis-tooshort @anime-weeb-4-life @genius2050

It’s past midnight when you turn up at Les’s door with a thirteen-year-old beauty queen and a Colt 44 that’s still warm to the touch.

“Molly?” he questions when his eyes land on the young girl clad in a thin white nightdress that leaves little to the imagination with a man’s denim jacket thrown over her shoulders.

The last thing he expects is to see Timber’s daughter under your care. He’s spent days putting up missing person’s posters, shaking down every low life in town and putting the fear of God into anyone who’s ever laid hands on a child. He’d never thought…

He knew the cult were fucked up, but it hadn’t even crossed his mind because she was so fucking young. He thinks of you back then, sixteen and already a bride. He realises he should have known; he knew Fallen Star are dangerous, he’s seen the scars across your skin…

“Wife number nine.” You say quietly as you set the gun down on the sideboard and gently guide Molly into his home.  “They took her when she was on the way back from the library. Her backpack’s still there…”

Molly finally tilts her head up towards him, her eyes are dull and glassy. Her pupils are pinpricks drowned out by the hues of her iris, there’s no recognition in them despite the fact he’s been present in her life for a couple of years by now.

“It’s the drugs.” You explain as you settle Molly on the couch, she lays down on her side and closes her eyes as you drape the tartan blanket that his mother had given him over her lithe frame. “It’s supposed to make the first time easier…”

He can tell from the tone of your voice that it doesn’t.

The two of you move into the kitchen, you close the door over behind you, leaving a gap so that you can keep an eye on Molly.

“Did he…” Les can’t bring himself to say it.

You shake your head.

“I didn’t let it get that far.” You tell him as you lean against the kitchen counter your arms crossed over your chest. He can read you like a book; he knows what it means when you withdraw like this, he knows that if you drew up the sleeves of that white peasant blouse that he’d see the bruises. He knows why Molly remains untouched. His jaw tightens at the thought, and he wishes you had never had to make that choice.

“I need to call Timber.” He says, his hand rubbing over the back of his neck. “When he finds out where she’s been…”

You both know what’s about to happen. As soon as the MC learns about what happened, they’re going to wipe Fallen Star off the face of the earth. Anybody who was complicit in the kidnapping is going to end up buried.

“If you want to get someone out, now’s the time to do it.” He tells you as his hand rests upon avocado rotary phone.

You both know that he’s talking about your father, the man who traded you to the sixty year old man, who became your husband so that he could take his place as one of the elders. The man who’s going to beat you bloody, who’s going to kill you when he finds you’ve left the leader of Fallen Star naked and dead in the middle of his bedroom with a hole the size of your fist in his chest.

“No.” You say resolutely. “He knew what they were doing when they took her, he knew how old she was, that she was just a little girl…”

You trail off as you feel the weight of it all starting to collapse in on you, it builds up in your chest and you blink rapidly but you hold it together because this isn’t about you. This is about Molly, about making sure she stays safe, because you are sure as shit know they will try to get her back, even with Ben dead. She’ll be forced to marry the next man, bear his children, it’s a cycle that won’t ever end, not unless someone makes it.

“Do it.” You tell Les. “Make the call.”

Love Les? Don’t miss any of his stories by joining the taglist here.

Like My Work? - Why Not Buy Me A Coffee

[thatseventiesbitch]

Would it be okay to request a possible time-travel scenario where the gang + Red and Kitty end up in the 2020's and their reactions to basically everything?

Thanks for the request! I tried my best, haha. Not sure if this is what you had in mind, but this is what came out. 😂 It features the whole gang circa 2022(?) Have a request? You can send it here!

Fez fell asleep on the basement couch after an afternoon of consuming far too much sugar. He started to toss and turn on the narrow cushions, his sleep fitful and his brow beginning to sweat.

This dream wasn't beginning like his normal dreams - he wasn't naked on top of a cotton candy cloud, being fed tootsie rolls by a gaggle of naked models. Instead he was - dream!Fez rubbed his eyes, bringing everything into sharper focus - he was inside the Point Place central mall? He blinked a few times, taking it in.

Yep, it was the mall. He shook his head. Everything looked so familiar, but so different to him at the same time.

Fez whipped around, looking all the way around him, and he was surprised to find that the whole gang was there. Looking very peculiar indeed.

"Fez!" Jackie called. She waved at him, holding a small black rectangle in her hand. She was dressed in tight jeans and a leopard print top. "Stand in front of that fountain." She gestured a few feet to his left. "I'll put it on my story."

"What story?"

"My Snapchat story." Jackie rolled her eyes, annoyed that he wasn't listening to her. "Now move!" She waved her hand again, and Fez obeyed through his confusion. She frowned, though, when he just stood in front of the fountain limply. "You need to pose."

"You need to pose, Fez," Kelso agreed. He'd come up behind Jackie. He, too, was dressed strangely. "I suggest looking off into the distance. It's very mysterious." Jackie nodded her approval. "Maybe with a chin grasp," Kelso demonstrated. Now Jackie clapped.

"Michael's very good at this," Jackie informed Fez. "How many Instagram followers do you have now, Michael?"

"Almost 20,000," Kelso crowed, shining an imaginary badge on his chest. "Yeah. That's half as many as Beyoncé."

"No it's not," Donna mouthed, shaking her head. She'd approached too, with Eric.

"Who even comes to malls anymore?" Eric was complaining. "I forgot this was here."

"They're a dying breed," Hyde agreed, trailing a few feet behind. He clasped his belt buckle. "A relic." He grinned at Red. "Kinda like you."

"Watch it," the older man glared. He held his wife's hand in one hand, and a Dick's Sporting Goods bag in the other. "I'm only here for some new tennis shoes." He scowled. "The regular kind, not... lizard feet."

Kitty interrupted, giggling. "The salesman tried to get him to try on some of those newfangled running shoes. The ones with the toes."

"Just not right," Red mumbled, while Kitty continued to giggle. His phone chimed, and he lifted it from his coat pocket and then scowled. "And, damn it, the Packers just allowed another touchdown. Kitty - we've gotta go. C'mon."

"C'mon kids. Everyone in the Tahoe, let's go."

"Fine by me, man. The music here blows," Hyde turned to follow Red and Kitty to the parking garage. Eric and Donna nodded and did the same. A Lil Baby song had started playing, offending their ears.

"Wait!" Jackie protested. "My story!" She stuck her lip out in a little pout, and shook her phone at them all. "I want to document this day."

"Jackie, it's just been a normal day," Hyde said, but he turned around and so did Eric and Donna.

"So what?" she insisted. "It's been a normal day with my favorite people. And I want pictures!"

"Of course you do," Hyde sighed, annoyed. But he was all but won over.

"They always want to document it," Eric agreed. Donna poked his side.

"Starting with Fez," Jackie beamed at him. She held up her phone, and Kelso coached him on 'elongating his cheekbones'. She snapped his picture, and then grinned even wider when she analyzed her shot. "Aw. Fezzie! You're so cute!"

"I'm cuter," Kelso insisted, pushing forward and pushing Fez aside. "Take my picture next, Jackie. But - " he carefully instructed her which angles were his best, and they negotiated the best light.

"Gorgeous, Michael," Jackie promised him after she'd snapped it. "Especially with that new filter."

"Oh, that new filter's the best thing that ever happened to me," he chuckled.

"Don't let Brooke hear you say that," Donna scowled.

"You're the best thing that's ever happened to me, m'lady," Eric sidled up behind her and kissed her cheek, quickly diffusing her anger. She smiled and leaned back into him, and Jackie snapped a few candid shots of them.

"Better than the new Star Wars movie?" she teased him.

"Hmm," he pretended to think about it. "It's about 50/50," he teased her back, and she elbowed him.

Finally, Jackie turned the camera around to selfie mode. "C'mere, Puddin'," she gestured for Hyde. He loped over to her, reluctant.

"Jackie," he sighed. "You know how much I hate pictures."

"But you love me, right?" She scrunched up her nose, and he couldn't help but grin. He didn't say anything, but he took off his sunglasses. Jackie grinned triumphantly, and pointed at him. "You didn't say no, Steven. That's as good as - "

He kissed her, and by the time they were done making out he let her take whatever photos she wanted.

Plus, they needed to wrap it up. Red was laying on the horn from the parking garage.

"Come on already! Dumbasses."

"It's okay, Mr. Red," Fez assured him from the passenger's seat. "I have a big bag of tootsie rolls we can eat while we wait, would you like some?"

"No, I sure as hell don't - "

"Ai!"

Fez's eyes blinked open suddenly as he gasped. Mr. Red and Mrs. Kitty stood above him. Who knows how long they'd been there - but just like in his dream, they did not look happy.

"I sure as hell don't want the foreign kid sleeping here again," Red was yelling.

"Hi honey," Mrs. Forman blinked down at him, more kindly. "Did you have a nice nap?" She laughed. "Well, now it's time to go."

"I-I had a dream," Fez explained, gasping for air. "And you were there," he pointed at Mrs. Forman, "And you," he pointed at Red, "And you," he pointed at Jackie and Hyde. They were walking out of Hyde's room, holding hands.

"I know what kind of dreams you have, Fez," Hyde frowned. "I don't want to be in 'em."

"I don't know what kind of dreams you have," Red grabbed Fez's arms and hauled him to his feet. "And I don't want to be in 'em either. Now get out." He shoved him out the door.

Fez was still contemplating his dreamland as he tumbled up the basement's icy steps, sucking in the frigid outdoor temperatures that reminded him he was no longer inside the Point Place mall - or whatever timeline his imagination had created.

"How do I get back there?" he frowned, smacking the side of his head futilely. To the land with the magic rectangles, and the lizard feet, and his happy friends, and never-ending tootsie-rolls?

It was an imaginary place, but it was a place Fez couldn't wait to get back to someday. Maybe tonight, in his dreams...

[jonathantaylorthomas]

Hollywood heritage...

latimes.com/sports/nfl/la-sp-chiefs-andy-reid-20181113-story.html

Andy Reid draws from California roots, and now brings his masterpiece of a Chiefs offense to face the Rams in L.A.

Kansas City Chiefs head coach Andy Reid grew up in Los Angeles and has frozen Tommy’s burgers flown to Kansas City. They’re “good for your joints — the grease. Keeps you lubed up, man,” he says.

(David Richard / Associated Press)

BY SAM FARMER

STAFF WRITER

NOV. 13, 2018 4:40 PM PT

Reporting from kansas city ���  

Every so often, the artist comes out in Andy Reid.

It has nothing to do with coaching, instead those times when he puts pen to paper and allows his mind to wander.

“One time when we were talking on the phone, and he was telling me how much he remembered about when we were growing up,” said his brother, Reg, nine years older than Andy. “While we were talking, he sketched a picture of me, then emailed it. It’s just a sketch of my head, but it’s pretty realistic.”

Fans of the Kansas City Chiefs have a deep appreciation for Reid’s creativity. He draws up the offense for one the NFL’s hottest teams; finds new ways to harness the spectacular talent of quarterback Patrick Mahomes. Even now, in his 20th season as an NFL head coach, Reid remains a pigskin Picasso.

That figures. His dad, Walter, did jaw-dropping work as a scenic artist in Hollywood, creating backgrounds and props for film, television and stage production.

“My dad worked on all the Broadway plays that would come to the Dorothy Chandler Pavilion,” said Reid, 60, sitting behind his desk at Chiefs headquarters. “They had these huge backdrops they’d lower from the second floor, whether it was ‘Annie Get Your Gun,’ or ‘The Wiz’ back in the day. My dad went down and worked on ‘Hair.’ It was unbelievable. You’d stand up there and look over the edge, and if you took a wrong step, you’d go down like a mile.”

The Chiefs too have reached toe-tingling heights. They’re 9-1 heading into Monday night’s game against the 9-1 Rams at the Coliseum, moved there by the NFL on Tuesday when field conditions in Mexico City became unsatisfactory. On paper, at least, it would have been the most compelling international game the league has staged. Now it will be the Rams’ first Monday night home game at the Coliseum since Nov. 19, 1979, when 54,097 watched a 20-14 victory over Atlanta.

Reid has been in plenty of huge games throughout the course of his career, including coaching Green Bay’s offensive line when the Packers won the Super Bowl in the 1996 season. Reid coached Philadelphia from 1999-2012, led the Eagles to five NFC title games and a Super Bowl, then took over in Kansas City in 2013.

There’s still a lot of Los Angeles in Reid, who grew up on Holly Knoll Drive, just around the corner from John Marshall High, his alma mater, and Walt Disney’s first California home. Reid still eats Tommy’s burgers, and not just when he’s at his offseason home in Capistrano Beach. He has frozen ones delivered by mail.

“I love those things,” he said. “It’s good for your joints — the grease. Keeps you lubed up, man.”

Comically gruff and unrevealing with the media, Reid is beloved by his players, who refer to him as “Big Red,” his hair color at an earlier age.

“He’s actually more funny than you would think,” running back Spencer Ware said. “Most people think of him as just serious. I can kind of relate to him because I always kind of have a serious look on my face and people think that I might be mean mugging. Maybe I’m joking around. So I can kind of relate to Big Red in that area.”

Reid might show his lighter side to his players, but he also gets to the point. They appreciate that.

“The biggest thing is he treats us well, treats us with respect,” tackle Mitchell Schwartz said. “I know he’s got a hard training camp and practices are long and all that. But we don’t have 20-minute meetings every day with rah-rah speeches. It’s just, ‘These are the goals, these are the expectations. Now, it’s on you to go do them.’ So he doesn’t have to be up there every day trying to get us to work hard.”

Reid, a onetime offensive tackle at Glendale College and Brigham Young University, developed his work ethic at an early age. His mother, Elizabeth, was a radiologist, and his father got him occasional work in the entertainment industry. Once, young Andy got a job serving food in the green room of a popular TV talk show, and his rule-following ways clashed with one of Hollywood’s biggest stars.

“I’m not sure whether it was the Merv Griffin or the Johnny Carson show,” he said. “But they put me in charge of dishing out the sweet-and-sour meatballs — they were unbelievable — and I was told I could only give three of them out to people.

“You name it, all of Hollywood would come through those shows. I knew all the athletes, so if it was Wilt Chamberlain or one of those guys, they’d get as many meatballs as they wanted.”

But when John Wayne asked for more than three, the kid had to break the bad news.

“I found out later he was a great athlete,” Reid lamented. “Maybe I should have given him a few more meatballs.”

Reid was enormous for his age. There’s a hilarious video clip of him in a Punt, Pass and Kick competition in the early 1970s. He’s a 12-year-old man-child in a Rams uniform, with a line of kids behind him no taller than his beltline.

“The kid behind me was 8,” Reid is quick to note. “I was like 12 or 13.”

Whatever. The YouTube video leaves his players doubled over.

“Damn, that boy was huge,” Chiefs receiver Tyreek Hill said. “He’s the size of Justin Houston.”

Well, maybe Reid wasn’t the size of that 6-foot-3, 258-pound Kansas City outside linebacker, but he was big enough that when he was a waterboy at Marshall, some of the varsity players asked him why he didn’t join the team.

“Mike Haynes was between my brother and me,” recalled Reid, referring to the future Hall of Fame defensive back. “He and his buddies were riding me, ‘How come you’re so big and don’t play?’ I said, ‘Listen, I’m in sixth grade.’

“They go, ‘No way!’ It’s like, I’ve been doing this waterboy thing longer than you guys have been around. I’m like the professional waterboy.”

Haynes recalls that, and more.

“I remember that when our kicker would kick the ball through the uprights, our field was so small that the ball would leave the school property and go across the street,” he said. “Andy would go get the ball and bring it back. He’d wear his youth football outfit.”

Nowadays, Reid wears shorts to practice, even when the temperature drops below freezing. He’s spent most of his adult life in cold-weather cities and is hardy like that, an artist whose medium is now Xs and O’s, a Southern Californian in spirit only.

sam.farmer@latimes.com

.

[justinssportscorner]

Emily Stewart at Vox:

The first time I found myself wondering what the deal was with Aaron Rodgers was when his brother Jordan appeared on season 12 of The Bachelorette, which aired back in 2016. The quarterback skipped the all-important family visit, raising some questions, but instead of glossing over it, the show insisted on leaving an open seat at the table where he could have been. Reality TV’s gonna reality TV, I guess. Before that, in my world, Rodgers had simply been my team’s star quarterback, the one who took us to a Super Bowl victory in 2011. I do not claim to be the world’s biggest football knower, but when you grow up in Wisconsin, you sort of have no choice but to love the Green Bay Packers. Sundays in the Badger State are for two things: church and the Pack … and also beer and cheese, so, like, four. (As an aside, the Packers are the NFL’s only publicly owned team, another reason to love them.)

Family dynamics can be hard, I thought at the time, and really it was none of my business. But at the very least it seemed a little sad to think Rodgers was estranged from his family, and I did wonder why. Cut to about eight years later, and the quiet suspicion that maybe Aaron Rodgers is a bit strange has morphed into a very public, very loud conversation, now that we know, well, a whole lot more. Rodgers didn’t get the Covid-19 vaccine and misled people about it by saying he was “immunized.” He’s talked openly about getting into psychedelics and doing whatever a “darkness retreat” is. He’s had a string of relatively short-lived public romantic relationships, which is normal and fine, though his last girlfriend was maybe a witch? He regularly spouts conspiracy theories about Covid and vaccines and UFOs, among other items, and is chummy with Robert F. Kennedy Jr., an anti-vaxxer and presidential candidate. Last year, he challenged Kansas City Chiefs tight end and Taylor Swift’s boyfriend Travis Kelce to a debate about vaccines that was also supposed to include RFK Jr. and Dr. Anthony Fauci. Kelce declined.

Much of this oddball activity and commentary has taken place on The Pat McAfee Show, where Rodgers appears for “Aaron Rodgers Tuesdays.” Disney reportedly paid $85 million for a licensing deal to air the daily sports talk show on ESPN, which it owns. The Pat McAfee Show was the setting of the latest “Aaron Rodgers said what now?” incident, when on January 2 he basically implied that ABC late-night talk show host — and also a high-paid Disney employee — Jimmy Kimmel is a pedophile. It’s been a whole thing, with back-and-forth between Rodgers and Kimmel and ESPN and Disney, for days. Kimmel called Rodgers a “hamster-brained man” and threatened to sue him. An ESPN exec called Rodgers’ comments “dumb.” Rodgers refused to say sorry and responded that the exec’s comments weren’t “helping.” None of it was. [...]

The Jimmy Kimmel dustup is really just the latest in a stream of ??? what is up with this man

So, let’s get back to the Kimmel thing. In early January, Rodgers suggested the comedian had ties to the disgraced financier and late sex offender Jeffrey Epstein. Referring to a since-released set of court filings about Epstein that have been branded the “Epstein list,” Rodgers said, “there’s a lot of people, including Jimmy Kimmel, that are really hoping that doesn’t come out.” There’s previously never been any speculation that Kimmel had ties to Epstein — but he has been trading barbs with Rodgers for a while, focused on the athlete’s anti-vaccination stance. Kimmel was not thrilled at Rodgers’s little Epstein theory. He clarified on Twitter/X he never had any contact with Epstein, said the remarks had put his family in danger, and threatened to sue. Kimmel also did a monologue about the sports star. Rodgers responded on McAfee. He said he was glad Kimmel wasn’t on the Epstein list and isn’t “stupid enough” to actually accuse someone of pedophilia without evidence. Rodgers didn’t apologize, but he did offer up a strange but fairly accurate self-assessment. “I’m not a super political person, okay? Do whatever you want. Conspiracy theorist? That’s fine, because if you look at the track record of conspiracy theorists in the last few years, they’ve been wrong about a lot of things,” he said. And then he complained about the media and cancel culture and said he does not “give a shit” about what people say about him, which … sure. Finally, on Wednesday, January 10, McAfee said that Aaron Rodgers would no longer be appearing on his show for the rest of the NFL season. He said the show was “very lucky” to get a chance to talk to Rodgers and that he’s obviously a “massive piece of the NFL story” and acknowledged “some of his thoughts and opinions … do piss off a lot of people.” McAfee sounded relieved to be away from the drama. “I’m pumped that that is no longer going to be every single Wednesday of my life, which it has been for the last few weeks of my life,” he said.

NFL star QB Aaron Rodgers has been getting into hot water in recent years, and it's because of his off-field activities such as trafficking in COVID conspiracies and anti-vaxxer nonsense. At least some of these were said on The Pat McAfee Show, where he is a regular guest.

[crackedrockskunta]

ratella remastered: in the beginning.

old tumblr had some beautiful fan fic of a homophobic ratty looking man from school, rewriting for the sake of all that is beauty.

i stand, stare and disbelieve the sight before my eyes, I am finally graduating high school and while I am more terrified than ever of what is to come, I know that this is going to open my chances of not only accomplishing everything I've ever wanted, but becoming the girl I was meant to be.

all my life I knew I was different, ever sense I was enrolled into the cheese nibbler academy for divergent and violent rats in kindergarten I knew that something was off about who I wanted to be. off about how when I looked at the most beautiful girls in my class, I felt not a sense of love or sweaty hands and typical childhood emotions, but a feeling of intense and unfixable envy. I pushed this as deep as I could, assuming the alpha male position in my school years binge influences by the works of the most inspirational men I could find to repress my identity. Ben Shapiro, Andrew Tate and of course Dreamybull. but thought my elementary school these urge to dress and act more feminine and truly my self did not dissipate, this caused me to repel against all of my natural instincts I was taught at the academy.

so I turned to violence, bullying every smaller rat, mouse and my biggest achievement the eldest neighborhood Cat Maswon Gyatfreigh after I almost fell victim to eating from his litter box. this continued through my young adult life, but no matter how many fights I started and then lost to or how bruised and bloody I was, I always felt an invisible pull towards something more, something I couldn't ever put my finger on as a source for all my hurt and anger.

it wasn't until I was in my last years as a little nibbler that I had finally met my match, my legs never got any bigger but my ego sure did, eventually leading to me finding the man who I realize now changed my life for the better. I was in the hallway at the academy and one of my notorious rivals "the Parm packer" challenged me to a dual which I could not refuse, I began to fight with my friends around me and fully beloved I should take him on, but within 5 seconds I was swept off my feet by his big strong arms. as he began to jump on my head, I felt my skull bang against the floor and the flashes of the cameras were exaggerated beyond anything I had seen, but with one last bang he was pulled away from me and my saving grace was there, the dean of students Melty Briar was there scooping me off the floor and showing the cameras away.

in the days following I came to the most shocking realization I ever had, I was not me. well I was of course but in the way that my body matched my face and my face my hair, but where does my soul fit there? in short, it didn't. I only had a few more years at the academy To go, but after the continuous fighting I was forced to leave for my own safety. while I was home I tried to body build but no matter what I did I never felt like anything of any meaning was changing the way my own soul did not fit into my body. it hit my like a truck 2 weeks after the fight, I just was in the bathroom one day looking down in the shower, slicking my wet fur with soap when the thought went across my head. "imagine I you just had some more curve there?" it seemed innocent enough and I assumed it was just more muscle definition so I started following workout videos on how to grow my hips, glutes, and shrink my waist, this was all rationalized in my head. I had found something I was happy with and it was always a bit more, a bit less there, all until the first time I got misgendered at the grocery store. I couldn't help but like it, even online I had started to go by my name now "Ratella" but there was no way I was a woman, right? was there?

[radiance1]

Superman, flying down to Lex Luthor's office: Luthor!-

Vlad and Lex Luthor pausing their argument as they look at Superman:

Superman, who didn't think Luthor was physically talking with anyone because he didn't hear a heartbeat: Oh, oh. I'm sorry you can continue, I'll just wait here.

Vlad, nodding his head before glaring at Luthor as he pointed at Superman with a wing: Well, at the very least, your nemesis has some sense of manners. Unlike a certain bald businessman.

Lex Luthor, bringing his head down in his heads and sighing: For the last time, I am not bringing you to a Packers game.

Vlad: And why not?!

Lex Luthor: It would most certainly ruin my reputation.

Vlad, currently staring at Luthor like he just told him he killed his firstborn: Ruin your repu- do you have any clue as to what you are insinuating?! The Packers would never ruin your reputation, they certainly haven't when I went to their games.

Lex Luthor: I tire of this conversation.

Vlad: Don't you dare-

Lex Luthor taps his bracelet and Vlad disappears. Leaving Luthor alone with Superman, a Superman who looks both confused and amused at Luthor's predicament.

Superman: So.... are you going to tell me who that was or?

Lex Luthor, groaning and dropping his head in his hand: You don't need to know.

Meanwhile, in another city:

Danny, resting on Tim's shoulder: Tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiim. I wanna go to the Observatory agaaaaaaaain.

Tim, tilting his head: But you just went there yesterday?

Danny: I know, but I've been deprived of the stares for centuries, so please?

Tim, shrugging in a way that doesn't displace Danny from his shoulders: Sure.

Danny, nuzzling Tim's cheek in affection: Thanks kid, you're the best.

===

Superman:

Vlad:

Superman: So-

Vlad: And what could you possibly want, oh proclaimed Man of Steel.

Superman: I just wanted to know who you are?

Vlad: I am the Duke of the Black Flame, Duke of the Ghost Zone and the most powerful, elegant, and graceful phoenix you will ever lay your eyes on in your most pitiful life.

Superman: Right. So, why are you with Luthor, then?

Vlad: Because, that bald-headed fool is my current 'master'. I say, I am most certainly not his underling but how dare that mere mortal deny one such as me a request as simple as partaking in watching a Packers game in real time!? [Vlad ends it off with angrily flapping his wings]

Superman:

Superman: If you want, I could take you?

Vlad, scoffing: And why would I believe that an enemy of my current bearer, would ever so much as wish for my enjoyment?

Superman, shrugging: I mean, if you don't want to go...?

A moment of silence.

Vlad: Do you even have the money.

Superman, smiling: I do!

Meanwhile, a few days later in Lex Luthor's office: It's been awfully quiet today.

Lex Luthor: God must finally be favoring me.

Meanwhile, in another city:

Tim, shouting out into his manor: Dannnnny, I have something for you!

Danny, appearing through a wall: Yes?

Tim, doing a come here gesture: Come here!

Danny, flying down to where Tim is: Alright, I'll bite. What do you have for me?

Tim, smiling: Close your eyes.

Danny, letting out an amused snort: Sure kid.

Tim, puts something on Danny: You can open them now.

Danny:

Danny: Is this... a space cape? How did you even-

Tim, beaming: Now you can be all cool and mysterious in something you like!

Danny:

Danny, who feels like his heart is going to explode: You're way to good to me, kid.

Tim feels like it's the least he can do, considering that that's his best friend in the entire world. Danny, in return, makes him and ice replica of Tim and Danny, a miniature version so he can carry it around anywhere and a bigger version that has a Danny much closer to his true size.

I for the life of me cannot find my og post but I shall take the concept and what I remember from it and make this one. So, snippets from that one au inspired by the Kwami from Miraculous Ladybug.

For context, Danny and Vlad are trapped in a necklace and bracelet (iirc) and are both just miniature versions of themselves, an eastern dragon and phoenix respectively.

===

Vlad, standing on Lex Luthor's desk with his head raised and a haughty look in his eyes: If you, a mere human, wishes to use my power, you will have to prove yourself worthy of the barest dregs of its embers-

Lex Luthor: No.

Lex Luthor taps his bracelet and Vlad gets sucked back in, finally leaving Lex's office blissfully silent.

Meanwhile, in another city:

Danny, currently flying near Tim's head as he takes up a camera: Hey, hey kid. Wanna use my power?

Tim, currently checking over his camera: Would it help me keep up with Batman and Robin more easily?

Danny, blinking as he questions what the hell is a Batman and Robin in this context: Yes...?

Tim: Deal.

Danny, blinking once again as he thought 'Huh, well that was easy'.

===

Lex Luthor, currently in an elevator minding his own business on his way to a shareholder meeting:

Vlad: Luthor.

Lex Luthor: What is it now.

Vlad: We need to go somewhere.

Lex Luthor, raises eyebrow: And that somewhere is?

Vlad: No time to explain but we need to go.

Lex Luthor, questioning how he ended up in this situation: You are aware I have an important shareholder meeting, yes?

Vlad: I know, and I don't care, you can always reschedule those things, but this is more important than that.

Lex Luthor: What could possibly be more important in your eyes?

Vlad, voice barely above a whisper: The Packers.

Lex Luthor:

Lex Luthor: No.

Vlad: You will not deny me this, I have been deprived of them for hundreds of years and I will not be denied the chance to watch them once again.

Lex Luthor: You say hundreds as they haven't been around for a century.

Vlad: Interdimensional time hijinks, not something someone like you would understand but that is besides the point. You will take me to the Packers game currently happening right this instant.

Lex Luthor, fixing his tie: I certainly have no incentive to do so.

Vlad: I will give you a portion of my power if you take me.

Lex Luthor:

Vlad:

Elevator:

Lex Luthor: Truly, a tempting offer-

Elevator: Opens

Lex Luthor, walking through the doors while tapping on his bracelet: -But no.

Meanwhile, in another city:

Danny: Kid, boy, child.

Tim: My name is Tim.

Danny: Right, yea, Tim, Tim, Tim, Tim.

Tim, currently standing on the counter as he looked through the cupboard: Yea?

Danny: I saw an observatory while you were out looking for those Batman and Robin dudes.

Tim, taking out some ingredients and checking to see if they're still good: Go on.

Danny: Take me.

Tim: Sure.

Danny, flying loops in the air: Yes!

Tim: But after I finish cooking.

Danny:

Danny: Can't you just buy something on the way?

Tim: Yea but if I do these will go bad.

Danny: Fair.

===

[73ironath]

WASHED CLEAN

As we all look forward for a special place and persons to meet after this time out, it would be proper to consider this story as told by Boyd K. Packer. As it may be the kind of response by those who we shall meet at the gate before we enter in.

"It was crowded and so we join the long line waiting to be seated. I was the first just behind some well dressed women. Even without turning around, the stalely woman in front of me soon became aware that we were there.

She turned and looked at us. Then she turned and looked me over from head to toe. There I stood in that sweaty, dirty sooty wrinkled uniform. She said in a tone of disgust. "My what untidy men."..I felt as dirty as I was uncomfortable and ashamed."

It is a custom among men, that when we are invited to a feast, we put the best clothes. The clothes are always clean and beautiful and it does attracts. But to our spirits bodies that carries our flesh, the best clothe many of us do not wear - the spirit.

When worldly conscious, the clothes attracts; as Satan will whispers some words has led so many to defile their spirits. This is one of the worst sins the spirit can't bear. Such defilement make the spirit to proclaim: "My what untidy man! woman!

The withdrawal of the spirit energize Satan to enforce his Entourage to dominate the defiled flesh, inspires with his silly wisdom, to cover ones wickedness.

As one defiled the body, ones spirit comes down, tongues contaminated, life disorganized, pure revelations become vague.

Many have become slaves to Satan because they did not continue as they once started, light-minded, and material thing

With the covenant, pure sermons and the laws kept and the application of the atonement we can washed clean and experience this at the last day: Joseph F. Smith

"Had a dream..as fast as I could possibly do.. finally came to a wonderful mansion. As I approached, I saw a notice "Bath."..I went in and washed clean.. opened my little bundle and found clean white clothing.. put them on and rush to the mansion..I knocked, a man stood there (Joseph Smith). He looked at me a little reprovingly - Joseph you are late..I took confidence and said yes, but I am clean...

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[ledenews]

Johnny Haught: ‘I Was Just Trying to Step Up and Squash Bullying’

It’s been about three or four times a day over the past 12 days or so that his phone has rung with the caller ID listing only as “Private Number.” And Johnny Haught has answered his phone anyway and he’s talked with the callers, too. He’s heard the hate because the Wheeling business owner offered to be a guard during a drag show that was canceled a month ago because of threats. And yes, he’s told those men too, well, to put it politely, pound salt for criticizing him for offering to work security at the Primanti Bros. at The Highlands. While explaining those experiences during an interview Thursday afternoon on River Talk 100.1/100.9 FM, Haught answered the anonymous call live on the airwaves. “And there’s another call,” Haught said. “Another private number. I’m going to answer it right now. “Hello.” Jesus is going to send you to Hell … “That sounds amazing. I can’t wait to talk about that on the radio right now. Do you want to be on the radio?” (inaudible) “What’s your name? Dave. “Dave? Dave from? Weirton? Dave from Weirton. You should tune into the radio right now. … OK, I guess he hung up.” Haught paused. “Well, there ya go. Jesus is going to come down on me because of what I’m doing. That’s what the man said,” he told the radio audience. “Now, I am not a religious person, but I was brought up in a religious family and I have learned the teachings of Jesus. “And I’m fairly certain the people who are bringing that (hate) to me do not follow Jesus’s teachings,” Haught insisted. “We just have to remember that this is just a few people who seem to be the loudest because the rest of us are just trying to live our lives and be happy. But they have to spew all kinds of hate and I know that’s not included in Jesus’s teachings.” Johnny and his wife, Sydney, made a recent trip to Green Bay for a Packers game. Hateful Phone Calls End with a Click It was February 3 when S&S Productions posted the following on the company’s Facebook page: *UPDATE CANCELLED*We were so incredibly excited to bring you a fabulous brunch to Wheeling WV. Unfortunately due to the amount of threats towards Primantis, the entertainers, & sometimes even patrons, we've decided for the safety of everyone involved to cancel the event. We couldn’t wait to party with you all, support the local lgbtqia+ community, and show that a little glitter never hurt anyone. We hope in the near future we can try to bring another brunch to the area - we were only 2 tables away from a fabulous sold out event so we know y’all want us there!  It was February 10 when Haught took to Facebook himself and posted the following: I volunteer me and a couple of my fighters to work security if Primanti Bros. decides to reschedule their drag brunch. I'm sure we can make sure the event stays safe.....#primantibros #dragbrunch #lgbtqcommunity #saysomething It appeared between one update about sparring at his Market Plaza gym and another that proclaimed he’s married his best friend. But on the next day, other Facebook members approved of his post so much they began sharing it. “I meant it when I posted it because I know I could ask some of my guys to help me stand guard so the event could go on as planned, and that didn’t mean we wanted to come to start fights. That’s not what we do,” Haught said. “All I wanted to do was to be there in case someone else wanted to start something because they were against the event taking place. “All it was supposed to be was a show, a production, and people had a lot of issues with that, but that same company (S&S Productions) is a busy organization because they have shows everywhere,” he said. “But not here, and now I know why.” The “Drag Brunch” was scheduled for Sunday, February 26th at Noon. Performer Luna Skye and Indi Skies were featured on the promotional poster, and tickets could be purchased online. At the time the company owners canceled the event, it was announced that only two tables remained unsold. “When I made the post, it was a real offer, and then when it got some attention, I thought we might be able to stir some things up here locally, but this whole situation went viral and here we are. I’ve been contacted by media from here and the UK, and it’s been a little overwhelming,” Haught said. “Once the attention reached a regional level, WTRF did a story on the web only, and little did we know that the web story turned into this. “There’s been a lot of attention from the media and it’s been a crazy experience,” he said. “But that’s told me that there’s far more positives in the world than negatives and that people are more like-minded about those things than maybe I thought. That’s been a very good thing.” When Haught wishes to be heard, and takes to online platforms and, in this case, the local airwaves. The Frightened Freak Out Haught likes stunts. Especially when it comes to raising funds for non-profits. For example, he ran a 5K race in 2019 backward to benefit the United Way of the Upper Ohio Valley. “Yeah, I do. I like to make things interesting, and I like the camera, there’s no lying about that,” he said with a broad smile. “But I don’t think I’ll run a race backward again. Believe it or not, my neck was the sorest thing on my body after that because all I did the whole time was look back so I didn’t run into anything. “I didn’t count on that,” he said. “That hurt the worst.” Haught also is a former professional boxer who was known as the “Hyperactive Hillbilly” during his career. “I’m only 42 years old so it’s weird for me to say that I am retired at anything,” he said smiling. “But I am a retired boxer and I teach now, and my guys did great during the (recent) Toughman competition.” Those are the men who, in fact, would have stood guard with Haught at Primanti’s last Sunday afternoon. Instead, he’ll continue answering his phone and hearing the hate and shaking his head and waving his fists in the air at a frustrating fight for fairness. “But at least 98 percent of this has been extremely positive and the folks involved with the canceled show have been super thankful,” he said. “And hey, we’re talking about a group of folks who have been persecuted and bullied and run into the ground and all I am experiencing a small amount of the that they face every day. “And it’s worth it because I’m just one of the majority of people who feel the same way I do about it,” Haught said matter-of-factly. “The people who are making the threats, well, they’re only a few people who have sad lives. And listen, I’m not trying to argue with people. When I posted that, I was just trying to step up and squash bullying I saw happening so people could just go on with their lives. No one is trying to hurt anyone, but there is this malice, and there’s just no reason for it.” Read the full article

[packernet]

New Post has been published on https://www.packernet.com/blog/2023/01/09/season-ending-loss-becoming-lafleur-trademark/

Season ending loss becoming LaFleur trademark

While this loss came in the regular season, it was eerily familiar to the previous three seasons when the Packers saved their worst game for the end of the season. While the Packers 20-16 season ending loss to the Lions made it clear quarterback Aaron Rodgers can no longer carry a team, it also raised serious questions about head coach Matt LaFleur. Four years in a row the Packers laid an enormous egg when it mattered most.

Last night’s loss was one of the worst of the year considering what was riding on the outcome. The Packers made mistake after mistake. They dropped easy passes, they committed absolutely idiotic penalties, Rodgers couldn’t hit the broad side of a barn and the defense was beat into submission by the physical Lions. That falls on the head coach. Now I’m not going to say it’s time to fire LaFleur. I can’t wait to see him coach a young, more talented quarterback who is eager to learn. But I think he’ll be on the hot seat soon if this pattern keeps up.

So now what?

Of course everything begins and ends with Rodgers. Reading between the lines at his post-game presser last night I think he knows he’s retiring, but he just wants to make sure he feels the same after the emotion wears off. The Packers need to make it clear that they aren’t paying sixty million dollars a year to the 15th ranked quarterback.

Rodgers always said if he’s stinking it up he’ll step away. Last night he had glory in his grasp. Time and downs he always used to say. Three plays later it was an interception and game over. I was at Brett Favre’s last game as a Packer and it was the exact same feeling. Watching Rodgers peel himself off the turf after that last pass was sad. That was a old man getting up. It is time.

Not everybody can be Tom Brady. Rodgers had a brilliant career and is obviously one of the best to ever lace up the cleats. The insane pinpoint passes during his prime will always be his calling card. He and his star trio of receivers in the early 2000s perfected the back shoulder throw. It was basically unstoppable. But those days are long gone. It’s time for Jordan Love to take over this team. Are the odds against him? Of course they are. Doesn’t mean he can’t do it, though.

Barry staying put

LaFleur said today there won’t be any changes to the coaching staff. So defensive coordinator Joe Barry isn’t going anywhere. The last five games of the year the defense played great. They ended the season 17th but were in the high 20s for most of the season. If that late season improvement could be counted on for next season I would be fine with Barry staying. But looking at his body of work as a whole I would prefer a change to Jim Leonhard if he were interested. I just don’t trust Barry.

It’s going to be a fascinating offseason once again in Green Bay. Never a dull moment with 12 on your team. Or off our team. Who the hell knows?

[all-hail-trash-prince]

They say curiosity killed the cat... But hey, Jason had already died once, and he'd survived it.

Jason: I know, right?

As Jason waited for several minutes, he became increasingly sure that the texter had realized their mistake and blocked him. But just as he decided he couldn't put off his morning routine any longer...

???: srry man was in the shower, had to wash the vlad off me

???: anyway hes back on his bullshit again, really thinks he can convince me and mom to replace dad with him after literally trying to murder the guy for like the eighteenth time. not that mom knows it was him but still. i cannot deal with this on top of the geometry exam

Vlad? Murder? Geometry exam...? Was this a high schooler?? There was so much to unpack in every single message this kid sent. But Jason couldn't push too hard or he'd give himself away.

Jason: That sucks.

???: ugh yeah it's annoying as hell but at least my mom has the good sense to know he's a fruitloop even if he's offering her his giant mayor mansion

Oh, now he was getting somewhere. There couldn't be too many mayors out there named Vlad, right?

Jason: Good for her. Mansions are hard to resist.

???: tuck i know you've hacked the cameras a million times but trust me the obnoxious packers theme is SO MUCH WORSE worse in person

Packers theme...?? So it was pretty likely this fruitloop was in Wisconsin... or, wait, no, he could have lived in Wisconsin but then moved to another state. That could also explain the kid's hatred of the theme... Or maybe the kid just really hated green and yellow. Wait, Jason needed to respond, it had been too long.

Jason: I can only imagine.

???: yeah it's bad. he tried to pay for a new phone for me after i smashed mine too but after last time i don't ever want to hear him gloating over me """accepting his kindness""" again

???: i just hope mom and dad don't notice that this is the third phone i've bought this month :I

Ah, so that's why they didn't notice they were texting the wrong number for so long - no contact names. Well, Jason was pretty sure he had enough information to find this "Vlad" guy now, even if he would have liked a more specific location to start looking. But first...

Jason: Third phone? We're only a week into this month??

???: exactly.

-----

Danny, still stewing on last night's... annoyance, only briefly nodded to his friends when they met up in the halls of Casper High. Sam had offered to tell Tucker, who had been absent, what went down, since Danny's phone had been smashed in the fight. Luckily, Danny was able to find a store that was open just late enough for him to fly over and grab a new phone right before they closed, and was able to give his friend his own update.

"So," started Tucker, "how are you doing?"

Danny snorted sarcastically. "You know how I'm doing."

Tucker tilted his head with a look of slight confusion. "I mean... It's always frustrating fighting Vlad, right?"

"Tucker, I've been texting you about it all morning, I'm ready to drop it now."

Tucker stopped dead in the middle of the hallway. "What? No, you haven't."

"I have!" But as he said it, Danny felt a sinking feeling. "If I haven't been texting you, then who...?"

At just that moment, Danny's phone pinged with a notification.

???: That's a lot of phones.

Danny: you're not tucker.

???: I know, right? ;)

???: But I've got enough info to track down this "fruit loop" guy now. Amity Park, right? Don't worry, I don't let any old asshole go around beating up kids, especially ones that seem as... apparently traumatized as you. Just give me a few days.

After that, the mysterious wrong number wouldn't respond, no matter what Danny sent them. But if after a few days, THE Red Hood was sighted in their little town duking it out with Plasmius, immediately followed by a single smiley face from the number? Well, Danny and friends weren't about to look a gift horse in the mouth.

-----

This should hopefully be everyone who asked to be tagged:

@hnymp @spidey29phangirl @malice-of-the-sunrise @profoundsoulsong @asphyxia778 @haziel669 @skulld3mort-1fan @emergentpanda-blog @d4ydr34min9 @meira-3919 @echo1sposts @temporalhunter @fisticuffsatapplebees @krzys2000 @thewondersoflebanon @blackroselina @everystarstorm @dannyphantomphan @willakk @phoenixdemonqueen @moonlightheart11 @mimilikey @apointlessbox @redhoneysugarorange @idontgetpaidenoughforthisshit @slapphapp1 @thedepressedrobin @gin2212 @balladoftime @roseinbloom02 @kitty-page @starmee-lodurrson @mnemovoid @hallowsden @satanicrutialspecialist @kyrianclawraith @lunadoll36 @ae-vixrose @olivethetreebitch @lostlightandfoundcrazy @theeclecticenquirer @stargirl1331 @somera-rubina @lazy-bouqet @chaos-n-kindness

Wrong Number AU

“I SWEAR TUCKER IF I HAVE TO DEAL WITH THE “I WANNA END YOUR DAD, MARRY YOUR MOM, AND TURN YOU INTO MY EVIL STEPSON/HEIR AND IF YOU DONT IM JUST GONNA TRY CLONING YOU ONCE MORE” FRUITLOOP AGAIN FOR A SECOND TIME THIS WEEK I AM GOING TO LET MY ROUGES END ME, DONT CARE WHO, JUST GONNA LET THEM FINISH WHAT THE PORTAL ACCIDENT STARTED”

-sent by Unknown Number

When Jason Todd woke up that morning to check his texts. He wasn’t expecting this.

When Danny sent that rant text to what he thought was Tuckers number (his old phone got smashed in a recent ghost fight, Sam gave him a new one she wasn’t using, and Tucker was out of town for a while so he couldn’t help Danny transfer his data yet) he wasn’t expecting a rather cyptic response

“Wrong number kid. But just for my own curiosity and concern, who is and where can I find this Fruitloop? I just wanna have a chat with him.”

[depressedhatakekakashi]

Kakashi is transgender in the ‘i say i’m a boy and that’s it’ way

Is he going to put in effort to look a certain way? Absolutely not. you’re lucky he crawled out of bed today.

Are there days he refuses to wear his binder because it feels to constructing and that does bot mix well with a man who might have a panic attack because he saw his own Chidori and remembered Rin being skewered on his hand? Yes

Will he cut anyone who misgenders him? Without hesitation. Man is Anbu trained and ready to murder on command. And his reflexes are what’s giving the command.

He’s on T and has a packer and a Binder but if the day is just wrong and he’s feeling over stimulated or exceptionally crappy mentally, he might just choose to slap on his uniform and walk out the door looking like crap because it’s better than feeling like his chest is being compressed when he’s already struggling to not have a panic attack.

[inthememetime]

Inspired by Teenage Mercenary, a DC × DP AU in which Danny plays the role on Ijin except instead of a foreign country Danny grew up in the Ghost Zone after an ill fated trip wherein Jack, Madeline and Danny entered the ghost zone in the prototype Specter Speeder but failed to return. Instead of growing up with her grandparents, Jazz is taken in by Vlad and then one day an older iteration of Danny emerges from Vlad's ghost zone portal. Jazz bearhugs Danny and Danny hugs her back, in steps Vlad who also hugs his godson adding to the dog pile.

Vlad uses Jazz's preexisting attendance to Gotham Academy to get Danny into the school as a new student and Danny is sorted into the same homeroom as one Tim Drake.

Sorry for the delay on this, Shroud, I wanted to be able to give you something good instead of whatever hot garbage my fevered brain churned out. I mean, it might still be hot garbage, but at least I tried, you know?

Anyway

I LOVE this idea an amount that you probably expected. Let's start with the immediate effects and then push out to when he returns!

Vlad

The objects of his obsession (Maddie and Jack) are gone. Dead. He even goes to the GZ to find them with no luck; just a wrecked Specter Speeder, parts and pieces of Maddie and Jack, and a blood-soaked baby seat.

Understandably, his mental status is completely rocked. If he didn't have the (once minor) obsessions with family and custody of Jazmine, his core would've shattered.

All that to say: this is a Vlad more like the future one in the apocalypse during TUE. He's broken, barely holding himself together for the sake of this broken-hearted little girl, and is forced to move on.

Jazmine

Despite being only 3 at the time of the accident, she has a lot of guilt. She thinks she should have faked being sick, thrown a tantrum, ANYTHING. It takes years of therapy (hence her goal of being a psychiatrist) for her to internalize it wasn't her fault. She was 3. She wasn't even at the house, she was at a sleepover. How was she supposed to stop them?

Despite her (unfair) guilt, she moves to calling Vlad 'dad' pretty quickly. Now, when she thinks of her dad, it's our favorite Green Bay Packers fan. When somebody presses about her bio dad, she has a few pictures, some stories, and a vague memory of a man in orange buckling up her older brother for the last ride he would ever take.

She misses Danny, and often wonders what he'd be like if he lived. Her hardest day, besides the immediate aftermath, was her 6th birthday because that meant she was older than Danny (who was 5 when he died) would ever be.

6 year old Jazz had a very hard time.

Now, at 14, her main concerns are having to move to Gotham and leave her friends Sam and Tucker (not to mention the town she grew up in) behind. She spent the last half year in Gotham, but she thought she was going back to Amity Park

Unfortunately (or fortunately) for her, business is booming, and Vlad signed a contract with Wayne Enterprises that's slowly putting a certain evil billionaire out of business, and he needs to be in city. And she's 14, so she is, obviously, going with him.

Side note, Vlad grew up rich and in boarding schools. He had a Very Bad Time in boarding schools, so that's a no go for him. Also, his existence low-key revolves around his daughter, so he starts going a little canon-level crazy when he can't see her for at least an hour or two a week. (Thank you, Skype! She can enjoy summer camp as long as she has a reliable internet connection!)

Also: Jazz knows this. But her abandonment issues have abandonment issues, so she's totally fine with this: she gets to reassure herself that her only living parent is still (half) alive and healthy.

Also also: thanks to an unexpected vulture visit, she's known Vlad is a half ghost since she was 4.

The Plot Beggineth

Is Beggineth a word? I like it, so it is now.

She sneaks off to say a final goodbye to Fentonworks the week before they're supposed to leave, but Sam and Tucker have a feeling she would do that and follow her.

Most of this chapter would be somber, I think. Jazz visiting the Ops center, the kitchen, and every room to say a final goodbye because, tbh, she doesn't plan on going back here again at this point. She's finally ready to move on.

She tests the lock on the lab as always, and it's locked, but the hinges have rusted and pretty much falls over. Despite knowing how dangerous a maintained ghost lab is, she decends. A last goodbye to the ghosts who never, despite all the wishes and prayers, came to haunt her.

There's the wrecked Speeder, just as her dad found it years ago. The weapons cabinet, the lab tables. All untouched bexause her dad couldn't stand to be here either. She's about to leave when she trips over a Fenton Thermos and lands in the portal.

Despite being very careful standing up, she trips on a wire, and the fact her dad never shut off the power really bites her because she bumps the on button, and boom! Halfa!Jazz.

By this time, Sam and Tucker are there to see her death, and Vlad's not far behind since his wards were tripped when she entered. They're all a little too late.

Not only does the portal activation kill Jazz! It also acts as a beacon to a certain ghost who doesn't remember much, but knows his obsession lies on the other side of the door he can't cross. Until now.

Danny

Immediately recognizes Jazz, though not Vlad.

They don't recognize him either. He's had a multitude of ghost parents, so 4 arms (Pandora), horns (Frostbite), star maps on his skin (Clockwork), and- well, he looks like a neverborn.

Until he switches back, and he's the spitting image of Jack at that age. He knows things only Danny would know. VERY secretive blood tests prove that's Jazz's long (un)dead brother.

Jazz and Vlad are beyond excited to have him back, and so is he! Matter of fact, Vlad's a little confused at how such a gentle, kind boy (admittedly with a lot of sass) has (half) survived the GZ.

All that changes when Luthor does weird mind control on Superman to get revenge (not against Plasmius- he isn't in the know- but against Vlad, who is driving him out of business) (overkill much, Lexy?), and Danny takes him down in like...20 seconds.

Super speed? Well how does your super hearing like that Ghostly Wail? Super strength? Boy, he wrestles with the ghost of the Nemean Lion on the regular.

Lazer eyes? Frost breath. Catch two arms? Jokes on you, he's got 2 more and now you're in range.

Yeah. It's quick. Batman and the bats have to slow down CCTV footage to 1 FPS and it's still faster than the camera could track.

He always went by Phantom in the GZ, so that's his hero name! Vlad still tries to teach him- and learns a few tricks himself. They both teach Jazz.

Tim

With summer over, classes start again!

Immediately, Tim knows something is off. The new kid, Danny, is WAY too nice for Gotham. Yeah, he's sassy, but he'll also make friends with anybody!

Tim tries to teach him the ropes. This causes Danny to believe they're BFFs now, which Tim was NOT aiming for, he just didn't want the cinnamon roll to be murdered.

Only then Danny steps in with a school bully who Tim has just had to deal with because he can't reveal his combat training, and absolutely shreds the guy to pieces. Then, super friendly, gives Tim his backpack back and wants to know if Tim knows any good burger joints in the area.

Detective mode: activated! Tim (thinks he) figures out that this is a Jason Situation. He resolves to keep an eye out on Danny to see if he has superpowers or nah.

Tim: I'll hang around him until I figure him out. Danny: new friend!

Danny starts showing up randomly. A fight breaks out while he's supposed to be in class? Nope, Danny's right beside him kicking ass, but his teacher says he never left the room, and the footage he (ahem) aquired confirms it.

Tim starts making a list of powers and panicking because a meta like this might be able to slow down even Superman! He'd be far more frightened if he knew half of the stuff Danny could really pull.

The Batfam thinks Tim has a crush. There's a lot of 'you can tell us anything!' speeches, Kate reminds him she's lesbian and it's ok with everyone else for some reason, even Jason gets to the point where he's just: Tim. Listen. Bruce is like the only straight person here, and frankly nobody knows about Alfred. It's cool if you want to bring him home.

"He's a meta."

"I'll make an exception unless he hurts you."

Tim thinks: ok, meta is fine. Turn him into a hero! Bruce thinks: ok, going to meet my son's boyfriend soon!

This is, by the way, the while thing. Everyone (but Tim & sweet cinnamon roll Danny) thinks they're dating. It gets to the point where Bruce and Vlad start inviting eachother over for family dinners in the hopes that their sons will just fess up, already!

Everyone (but Tim, Jazz, and Vlad) thinks Danny is either normal, or a meta with some speed and strength enhancements.

Tim tries to explain how dangerous he really is? YES, Tim, we GET IT, Danny is AWESOME and has great hair, JESUS CHRIST.

Hilariously, Tim and Danny keep getting kidnapped, and everyone from the Batfam thinks Tim keeps somehow overpowering metas to rescue them. Ghostfam thinks Tim is now In The Know.

"Hey Mr. Masters-"

"Tim, please, it's Vlad."

"Uh. Vlad? How did Danny get superpowers?"

"Oh, he died."

"WhAt?!"

Phantom and Robin keep teaming up to rescue Jazz, who is doing her best not to show powers so Lex doesn't have a reason to clone her.

Phantom/Robin becomes a thing. Danny/Tim is still not. When they find out, both families are FURIOUS.

"DANIEL JAMES FENTON-MASTERS, WHY ARE YOU CHEATING ON YOUR BOYFRIEND?!"

"TIMOTHY DRAKE, GET DOWN HERE AND TELL ME WHY RED ROBIN WAS SEEN KISSING PHANTOM?!"

Tim starts hanging around the Fenton-Masters more because NOBODY believes he and Danny aren't dating! Danny does the opposite- and both figure out eachother's secret identities.

This leads to further problems because: ok, he likes Red Robin, but he clearly isn't interested in Tim Drake. Ok, he likes Phantom, but Danny probably annoys him.

Tim gets Unmasked by Disposable Henchman #4, and (after getting rid of the others), Danny, to even the score, shows that Phantom and Danny are the same person too.

This leads to further drama. You'd think everything was solved, wouldn't you? Nah. "Dad, please stop yelling at me. Tim IS Red Robin." "Oh, that's a load of licorice, Danny, you're grounded."

"Bruce, everybody- I'm tired of this, so here: Danny IS Phantom." "So now you're lying to your BF AND to us?!"

Finally, they unmask in front of each other's families. Problem solved, right? Right! Except Jazz is kidnapped now, and there's this new scary blue meta looking for a ghost kid, and- shit's complicated.

But that's (realistically) where I'd go with it- romantic comedy/ crouching tiger hidden dumbass style.

All in all:

Danny? Genius when it comes to fighting, the GZ, and math. Dumbass for anything else.

Tim? Genius when it comes to detective work, fighting, and breaking and entering. Dumbass when it comes to human interaction.

Danny AND Tim? Bisexual Disaster Squad for the win!