#man this stuff is hard to write without dialogue

[shepscapades]

I don't watch much of Xisuma's stuff, so I've always thought that his little 'heh!' was just a comic thing. But no, the man actually does that, and it's so ridiculously endearing that I've binged a couple of his videos just to see what other mannerisms I can pick up XD;

YESSS YEAH like I’ve always found it really difficult to try to capture all of the hermits’ vocal mannerisms, and the little “heh!” that xisuma does is so hard to capture other than “heh,” but he literally does it at the end of almost every sentence when he’s in a good mood/chatting or being a little silly, it’s so endearing =w= It’s like a half-chuckle little heh and I love it dearly <3 it’s really really hard not to write one million “heh”s into his dialogue and scripting without it feeling super repetitive even though I feel like he realistically would DGBJDFHNCKHG

[reidmarieprentiss]

hi love!! i love your writing and i was wondering if you could write for spencer and cinephile!reader, maybe she wanted to study film in college but couldn´t (totally not self projecting here) and now she just loves to watch new movies with spencer when he gets time off of work. she throws random movie facts throught the day and it's the only time where spencer is left speechless lol.

yes!! oh my god how cute

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Cinephile

Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!reader

Category: fluff

Warnings/Includes: none!

Word count: 608

main masterlist

It’s a quiet evening, the kind where the world feels a little softer, a little more at ease. You and Spencer are curled up on the couch, a cozy blanket draped over your legs, and the warm glow of the television casting a gentle light across the room. The two of you have just finished watching yet another classic, and as the credits roll, you can feel Spencer's gaze lingering on you.

You turn to him, noticing the way his eyes seem to shine, a small smile playing on his lips. “What?” you ask, though you already know the answer. He’s always like this after you watch a movie together—captivated, not just by the film, but by your passion for it.

Spencer shrugs, a playful grin spreading across his face. “Nothing, I just love listening to you talk about movies. You know so much, it’s fascinating.” His voice is soft, filled with genuine admiration.

You feel a warmth spread through your chest, the kind of warmth that only comes from being truly understood. “I’ve always loved movies,” you say, your voice taking on that familiar excitement that only film can bring out in you. “There’s just something magical about how everything comes together—the direction, the cinematography, the editing. It’s like…every detail matters, you know?”

Spencer nods, completely entranced by your words. “You make it sound like an art form,” he says, his voice almost reverent.

“Because it is!” you reply, your enthusiasm bubbling over. “Take that one scene, for example,” you begin, launching into an explanation of how the lighting created a specific mood, how the camera angles conveyed a sense of intimacy, how the music subtly underscored the tension without overpowering the dialogue.

As you talk, you can see Spencer soaking up every word, his eyes never leaving yours. He’s not just listening—he’s absorbing, understanding, appreciating. It’s moments like these when you realize how lucky you are to have someone who values your passions, someone who listens with such intent, who sees the beauty in the things you love.

When you finally pause to take a breath, Spencer reaches out, taking your hand in his. “I love hearing you talk about this,” he says, his voice sincere. “You’re so passionate, and it makes me see things in a new way. I wish I could’ve seen you in film school—you would’ve been amazing.”

You smile, squeezing his hand. “Maybe, but I wouldn’t trade this for anything. I love our movie nights, and I love that you let me ramble on about all this stuff.”

“Ramble?” Spencer chuckles, shaking his head. “You could never ramble. You make it come alive for me, like I’m seeing the film through your eyes.”

Your heart swells at his words, and for a moment, you’re speechless. Spencer Reid, the man who can quote statistics and facts like they’re second nature, is left in awe by your love for film. It’s a feeling that’s hard to describe, but you know it’s something special, something you’ll always treasure.

As the credits finish rolling and the screen fades to black, you snuggle closer to Spencer, resting your head on his shoulder. “So,” you say, your voice teasing, “what did you think of the movie?”

He smiles, resting his cheek against your hair. “I think it was perfect,” he replies, his voice a soft murmur. “But I think hearing you talk about it was even better.”

And as you sit there together, you realize that it doesn’t matter what life path was chosen for you. What matters is that you’re here now, sharing what you love with someone who loves you just as much, if not more.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

tag list <333 @dirtytissuebox @yokaimoon @khxna @noelliece @dreamsarebig @sleepey-looney @cocobean16 @i-live-in-spite @placidus @criminalmindssworld @lilu842 @greatoperawombategg @charismatic-writer @fxoxo @hearts4spensco @furrybouquettrash @kathrynlakestone @chaneladdicted @time-himself @mentallyunwellsposts @sapph1re @idefktbh17 @gilwm @reggieswriter @loumouse @spencerreidsreads @i-live-in-spite 

[theesteppenwolf]

SPOILERS FOR LUCANIS ROMANCE

So i finished the game yesterday and i have to admit that i am pretty disappointed with how they handled his romance.

It severely lacks in reactivity from him because it really feels like he doesn’t have a response written in to some of the flirting and just continues talking. He has very short scenes and very few outings as opposed to other characters so it never really feels like there is enough happening in the relationship and the moments he does get are very underwhelming save the end game convos and the “backing away from flirting” scene.

His lock in scene was very awkward I was surprised that was the lock in romance scene at all and after that you get absolutely nothing with him. One coffee scene that is about him and spite that has a minuscule ending thing about you and until the end of the game that’s all you get. Even his combat dialogue stays pretty much the same, the stuff added you can’t even tell are romance specific.

If you don’t romance him or Neve they get together and it feels a lot more fleshed out than when he’s with Rook. I stopped having them together because it genuinely started to piss me off and i felt like i was third wheeling it. Even his fade quest implies his interest in Neve and not Rook and as a player romancing him how am i supposed to be completely fine with that?

(I love Neve and am not bashing on here but it was damn annoying)

Now i love his ending convos but the way you get there is dissatisfying to say the least. I filled in so much with headcanons and I shouldn’t have to.

I have to say even without the romance i think his lack of content does him a great disservice, just comparing how much you can talk with davrin or harding is wild. It feels like outside of him liking coffee and being a professional assassin they didn’t really know what to do with him.

Now i would definitely blame the lay offs for this but the fact that they managed to write out his relationship with Neve AND Bellara makes me feel a bit otherwise. And Mary Kirby has stated that she doesn’t like writing romance but the build up to his character really leads to very little.

This is just my little rant because I really do love the game, and when his scenes are good they are REALLY good, i adore his ending conversations but man, it’s just disappointing and frustrating getting there.

There is so much potential and stuff to work with and they just… did nothing. I’ll headcanon a lot and think of the wigmakers job to compensate i guess.

I don’t like being negative online, there is enough of that going around but i wanted to vent.

[catscidr]

HIIII CAN I GET DOTTORE(WEBTOON VER) X READER (fluff if u want) PLS..... where ur his assistant (besides krupp, like reader and krupp are both his assistant) and he so clearly has favoritism towards reader, bro is SMITTEN. have a good day... :D

this is sorta taking place right when the manga starts, right before dottore and the gang have a meeting about fatui stuff n all. also spoilers for the manga kinda if u haven't read it already?? i threw krupp under the bus a lot but its to make up for the fact that he’s alive in this lmaoa sry to any krupp lovers out there (′ʘ⌄ʘ‵) also there’s a lot of buildup n world building kinda im sorry i got in the zone HAHA ALSO MB THIS TOOK A WHILE TO WRITE i was drowning in leftover dessert from the holidays and was in a food coma for a couple o days. forgive me nonnie but u can get ur food now ⸝⸝⸝⸝⸝⸝ cw: reader is overwhelmed, not proofread i just went ham. not too much dialogue it's mostly unspoken bc webttore is an "actions > words" kinda man includes: fem reader, webttore, krupp, diluc mentionned wc: 1,7k

The mission was a complete and utter disaster. 

All three of you were supposed to attend the Ragnvindr ball with a simple goal; blend in as much as possible, gather intel on the Knights of Favonius and leave without a hitch. Of course, that wasn’t an easy task considering Dottore’s eccentric and unpredictable personality and Krupp being a thorn in your side at best. 

Things started going downhill before you had even left your private quarters. While you were getting ready, carefully blinking as you brushed your mascara into your lashes to blend them in with your fake ones, you were startled by a loud, quick series of knocks on your door, making you smudge the dark pigment on your eyelid. Seeing the look on your face, Krupp had apologized (halfheartedly) before leaving you to your devices, seemingly forgetting why he had even interrupted you in the first place. You tried to convince yourself that it was fine, it was an easy fix anyways- but you couldn’t help but get irritated by your coworker’s behaviour at the very least. 

The next accident happened when the three of you had stepped out of the carriage in front of the Ragnvindr mansion. Masquerading as Dottore’s concubine, he held your hand to help you out of the caravan. That in it of itself was fine; the texture of his velvet glove was nice, the warmth emanating from his hand was even nicer and you swore you saw his face soften at the sight of you carefully stepping down the singular stair, leg jutting out as you balanced yourself on the cobblestone path on your heels. But Krupp just had to step on the back of your dress, a brown footprint now adorning the periwinkle frilly trail of your gown. The only good thing that came out of it was Dottore moving his hand to your waist and swiveling you to his side, fixing his assistant with a hard glare that could kill. 

Then, after you had gotten most of the dirt out of your dress (with the help of a kind butler), your trio stepped into the venue, splitting into two groups. Krupp would blend in with a group of nobles whereas you and Dottore, arms linked together, would speak to people in the Knights directly. Eyeing your coworker in the crowd, you saw him courteously kiss the back of a noblewoman’s hand; despite the slight look of disgust crossing your face, he seemed to be doing well with the mission. 

However, it seemed that whatever Archon was watching over you then didn’t appreciate the lack of drama. As Dottore introduced the both of you to a platinum-haired man, he had gotten his shoulder shoved by what had appeared to be a new hire from the manor (at least, you assumed so considering the way he had immediately gotten yelled at by a lady older than him). 

You yelped when the Harbinger spilled his drink all over the front of your dress, some champagne sliding down your chest leaving an uncomfortable, sticky feeling on your skin. Cheeks reddening from embarrassment and frustration, you brush away his frantic apology as you storm out, grabbing a handful of napkins on a nearby table while making your way to the closest bathroom. 

Thankfully it wasn’t hard to find, not with a maid offering to help you (she had gotten turned down but kindly pointed you in the right direction at the very least). Patting your skin dry, you burst into the surprisingly empty bathroom and assessed the damage. 

That’s where you are currently. 

Staring at the state of your previously pristine appearance you can’t help but tear up. Sure, this was just for a mission, and you could just wipe away the booze as much as you could and go back to do your job. But the one time you get to dress nice, the one time you can rid yourself of that ugly, stuffy uniform and feel pretty... had to be ruined by men. While it wasn’t exactly Dottore’s fault that he spilled his drink all over your dress, you still felt mad at Krupp for stepping on it when you all had first arrived. Was it petty to still be upset about it? Yes. Were your feelings justified? Also yes. 

Being the Doctor’s assistant was a chore. A challenge, sometimes. He was demanding, strict and you often had to walk on eggshells around him to avoid setting him off. Whenever it happened, he’d start ranting and raving about how incompetent everyone in the fatui was- although, he’d never point a finger at you, usually Krupp was on the receiving end of his bite (even if he wasn’t even included in the conversation). 

Knowing him well enough to understand his moods and personality had its perks. Unfortunately, it also had its drawbacks- those being how, naturally, your boss would also know how to read your mood surprisingly well. Dottore was known to be mean and ruthless to anyone he crossed path with, however, he’s always had a soft spot for you. 

Sometimes it was obvious that he did, but sometimes it was like he saw your coworker’s face instead of your own- scowling at your mistakes and scolding you harshly for mixing in the wrong powder in a flask. Whenever that happened, you could almost forget how he was able to hold you so gently, as if you were a glass sculpture ready to break if even the slightest breeze hit you. But if he were to be described with one word, you’d never call him dense- as entitled as he could be, the Harbinger was still (maybe surprisingly) quite well-versed in human emotions. 

You barely hear your name being called in the distance, muffled by the sound of the angelic piano and violin in the main area. Too caught up in your thoughts, you continue seething and aggressively rubbing away the sticky residue on your chest, muttering some choice words about your coworker and your boss. 

The door to the women’s bathroom flies open, revealing a frustrated but concerned Dottore, his curly hair a mess from how often he must have run his hand through it while he ran to find you. Uncaring of how he was intruding on your moment and how he was in the women’s restroom, he stomps over to you, gloved hands coming down to your shoulders as he closes the distance between you so he can look at the damage properly. 

He doesn’t speak for what felt like minutes, leaving your heart to pound in a mix of shock (who wouldn’t get scared at the sight of a Harbinger slamming a door open?) and nervousness. One of his hands come down to move your own that still held onto the (now damp) napkins as he stared at the front of your dress. 

The sweetheart cut of your dress was soaked, the edge and thin lace sticking to your skin, light indigo dye appearing darker because of the stain. Snapping out of your frozen stupor, you push his hand away and bring your hands back up to cover your chest, flustered from how hard he was staring with those blank, crimson eyes. 

“...You’re in the wrong bathroom,” you murmur, unsure of how to get him to leave you alone without possibly setting him off. Dottore’s eyes flicker up to your side profile, his expression still freakishly unreadable. 

You suddenly feel both of his hands on your cheeks as he manhandles you to look at him, your heart skipping a beat. Unable to bring yourself to stay mad, tears prick at your eyes, and you look down. Holding his gaze was impossible, not when you’ve been feeling humiliated since the start of the evening. He doesn’t comment on your sorrow, keeping on staring at you intently. 

“I can always buy you a new, nicer dress if that’s what you want,” you hear him say, voice uncharacteristically quiet, and maybe even... unsure? 

You shake your head softly, sniffling. 

“No? Why are you upset, then?” 

Hearing him so utterly confused, puzzled, perplexed made you even more frustrated. Furious, even. With your emotions all over the place and a newfound fury blazing in your limbs you snatch his hands off from your face and stomp out of the bathroom, shouting I’m waiting in the carriage! before stepping out into the chilly Mondstadtian evening breeze. 

Dottore stood there, brows furrowed and mouth agape in confusion as he blinked at your retreating figure. He didn’t have the chance to go after you because, as if on cue, Krupp interrupted the show. 

“I gathered some juicy intel, boss! Those Knights are incredibly foolish for being so loose lipped,” the mustached man declares proudly, acutely unaware of the stuffy atmosphere. Maybe not completely unaware, but he’s for sure ignoring it if he noticed it. Instead of hearing him out though, Dottore scoffs and walks into him, shoving him to the side with a scowl. 

“Don’t waste my time with your useless boasting. We’re leaving,” the Harbinger all but groaned, running a hand through his hair, stress emanating from him in waves. His assistant catches up to him, stuttering out a Of course sir! as he opens the door for him, his shoes digging into the cobblestone path. 

Dottore immediately looks at your sat figure, chin in your palm, looking out of the window. The sight would make him melt if it weren’t for his other assistant’s presence a mere meter away from him. He says your name quietly, softly enough that no one other than you can hear and Krupp steps into the carriage, shouting directions to the driver. 

“Can I stay in the lab next time?” you grumble, refusing to turn around and look at your boss and coworker. Krupp opens his mouth to scold you, but Dottore beats him to it, shooting him a sharp glare, lips curling down in a frown. 

“You can,” he answers you while still looking at his employee. “In fact, it’ll give me an opportunity to properly teach my other assistant some manners,” he adds, practically growling the sentence. Krupp swallows thickly and pretends to not be involved in the conversation, looking away nervously. On the opposite side of the plush seat, you hide the smile creeping its way onto your features.

Ignoring the way your heart swelled, you inwardly celebrate your small victory. Dottore could be brash and cruel, but you’ll always cherish the moments when he shows you some lenience. Especially when it’s at the cost of your coworker’s imprudence. 

[polkadotpenguin16]

#MarchFicMadness24 Rec List

Here's my contribution to @the-blind-assassin-12's March Madness Reblog Challenge: reblog 63 fics in 31 days!

Below are stories/drabbles/whatever that I enjoyed reading and give the Penguin Stamp of Approval 🐧™ (very exclusive)

Expect a lot of Carisi/Barba love 😍

Part 1 | Part 2

🥰=Fluffy 😔=Angsty 🥵=Saucy 📋=Masterlist

1. Carisi and reader's first kiss by @kryptonitejelly 🥰 Sonny Carisi x reader This is just an adorable little snippet that made my heart flutter

2. Mistakes We Knew We Were Making, Chapter 1 by @lovecarisi 🥵 Sonny Carisi x reader Hot damn - that's it, that's all my thoughts lol

3. Slow, soft love making with Barba by @adacarisi 🥵 Rafael Barba x reader This was my gateway fic into the Tumblr-SVU-Fic-Verse (came here from a random pin on Pinterest). And it is still one I enjoy going back to because it is so delightful. Anyone who enjoys smutty SVU fics should check their stuff out!

4. Sweet Tangerine by @whoevrwhatevr 🥰😔 Sonny Carisi x Rafael Barba My guilty pleasure is sick/comfort fics, and this one checks all the boxes for me. Pathetic, ill Sonny has a special place in my heart lol

5. Second Chances, Part One by @tropes-and-tales 😔🥰🥵 Sonny Carisi x Reader I read this on the recommendation of @misscharlielulu, and it did NOT disappoint! It literally has everything - broken hearts, adorable dates, a sensual satisfying climax. It goes from angsty, to fluffy, to saucy, and it is near close to perfect.

6. Overtime by @storiesofsvu 😔🥰 Rafael Barba x Reader Honestly, read any of her stuff, you're guaranteed to enjoy it. I like this one in particular because it is such a well composed story. And she nailed Raf being a lovable dick 😂

7. Tears For A Good Man by @escapingrealtiylovinginsanity 🥰 Sonny Carisi x Reader I always get excited when a new Sonny fic comes across my dash, and this one is just GAHHH **insert incoherent happy noises** Probably the sweetest version of Sonny you will ever come across **swoon**

8. 19 (aka losing your virginity to Sonny) part 1 / part 2 / part 3 / part 4 by @carisi-dreams 🥵 Sonny Carisi x Reader If I was on a deserted island and was only allowed to bring one fic to read, THIS WOULD BE IT!!!! I love how relatable the reader is, I love how attentive Sonny is, and it's just GOD DAMN HOT 🔥

9. Relaxation Therapy by @mrsrafaelbarba 🥵 Rafael Barba x Reader Who doesn't want a sexy Cuban lawyer to take care of them after a long day 😏 #life is hard and barba is hot

10. You're My Dream Girl by @pascalispretty 🥵 Sonny Carisi x Reader Apparently @misscharlielulu and I are on the same wavelength because we were both thinking about this one today lol. This one is hot, heavy, desperate and it's AMAZING

11. Line Without a Hook by @writingdayandnight 🥰 Rafael Barba x Reader This reads like a delightful romance movie, and is a beautiful alternative for Undiscovered Country-deniers (seriously, what were they thinking?!)

12. Carisi realizing he’s in love by @kryptonitejelly 🥰 Sonny Carisi x Reader Another adorable snippet courtesy of @kryptonitejelly - keep em coming!

13. “i’m yours, in every way possible.” by @qvid-pro-qvo 🥰 Sonny Carisi x Reader Y'all wanna cry happy tears? Cuz this made me cry happy tears! I found this gem last week, and have become completely obsessed.

14. HCs: Being in a Relationship with Sonny Carisi by @locke-writes 🥰 Sonny Carisi x Reader This is wonderfully written, in-depth, and simply put, it's heartwarming 💓

15. Rafael Barba Masterlist by @melk917 📋 Rafael Barba x Reader If you're a Barba fan, this is the Tumblr to go to! Seriously, just pick any of them. You'll find a little bit of everything, and you'll enjoy yourself.

16. A Fight With Sonny by @storytimefromthecreed 😔🥰 Sonny Carisi x Reader The dialogue in this is so perfectly written. Honestly, it's #truelovegoals

17. Rain, Candlelight & Pumpkin Spice by @beccabarba 🥵 Rafael Barba x Reader This one is so soft and sensual and makes me miss fall. Standout quote - "I love that you think you’re the lucky one" - I'm literally melting 🫠

18. Taken Care Of by @plaidbooks 😔🥵 Sonny Carisi x Reader There are LOTS of stories out there about Sonny taking care of the reader. Not nearly as many about Sonny being cared for, and by god does that man deserve it! This is a fav of mine, Julie's so talented, and I've got 45 more fics to go so I'm sure I'll be adding more of her stuff to this list.

19. Perfect / Love Won’t Die by @cathrrrine 🥰 Sonny Carisi x Reader When this fic dropped, I got absolutely nothing done that day because it was the only thing I could think about. It gives you all the nice mushy feelings a good fluff piece should!

20. Movie Night by @adarafaelbarba 🥵 Rafael Barba x Reader This is one of the first Rafa fics I ever read. Then I freaking lost it and thought I was imagining the whole thing. And when I finally found it again, it was even better than I remembered lol

21. Mistakes We Knew We Were Making, Chapter 2 by @lovecarisi 🥵 Sonny Carisi x Reader Chapter 2's out y'all!

22. Public Transportation by @amaroforpresident 🥰 Sonny Carisi x Reader An utterly adorable meet cute 😍

23. Caught in the Act by @svuwritings 🥵 Sonny Carisi x Reader Just absolutely filthy smut; might need a cold shower after this one.

24. 4th of July by @australiancarisi 🥰 Sonny Carisi x Reader I love reading fics with a focus on Sonny's family. We got such a small sliver of that part of him on the show. This fic just makes me smile ☺️

25. Decisions by @detectivesvu 😔 Rafael Barba x Reader This is a heavy read, but it's oh so good. Sidenote, this reader is a saint - I wish I could practice this level of patience lol

26. Paradise Lost & Paradise Found by @cycat4077/@cycat-carisi 😔 Sonny Carisi x Reader So Tumblr will not let me reblog these for some reason, but I just had to share because I love them so much. This story breaks my damn heart and then glues it back together and I am HERE for it! All of their stuff is a joy to read 💙

27. I Want You to Touch Me by @writefasttalkevenfaster 🥵 Rafael Barba x Reader Sexy bearded Barba, anyone? “I told you it wouldn’t be a bed,” - GAHH I'm blushing 😳

28. Gallery by @svu-ncis-criminalminds 😔 Sonny Carisi x Reader Is "deliciously angsty" a thing? I have issues dealing with conflict in my personal life, so reading about people fighting and making up is kind of cathartic for me. It does wrap with a sweet ending.

29. Getting Flowers from Sonny by @duchesschameleon 🥰 Sonny Carisi x Reader I've only received flowers once from someone (who wasn't family) and I remember just how goddamn special that made me feel and this perfectly captures all those warm fuzzy feels 😊

30. "Hey, just look at me. Breathe." by @amirightcounsellor 😔 Sonny Carisi x Reader Oh, to be held by Sonny after a nightmare...

31. Sonny in an accident part 1 / part 2 / part 3 / part 4 / part 5 by @carisi-dreams 😔 Sonny Carisi x Reader Scrolling through Violet's blog is like the best box of chocolates you've ever received - always something new and exciting to find. I cannot believe I only just read this today. I think it is a contender for my most favorite fic of all-time. Violet, I bow to your greatness 🙌

32. Unsure by @svucarisiaddict 😔 Sonny Carisi x Reader I love this story so much. It really resonates with me deeply. And Sonny is such a dear in this :)

33. The Tum by @plaidbooks 🥵 Rafael Barba x Reader I love me a fluffy man, and Raf deserves all the adoring attention in the world <3

34. A Misunderstanding by @minidodds 😔 Rafael Barba x Reader This is a cute shorty about a silly miscommunication.

35. Toy Box by @detective-giggles 🥵 Sonny Carisi x Reader Did someone turn up the heat, cuz it's getting a little steamy in here. This is filthy...please enjoy 😏

36. All Wrapped Up by @melk917 🥵 Rafael Barba x Reader I know the holiday season has passed, but this is a good read all year round.

37. Come Home part 1 / part 2 / part 3 / part 4 / part 5 by @enamoured-x 😔 Sonny Carisi x Reader In case you needed your heart torn up this evening! This whole series is amazing, I love it so much. Why do I we love to see Carisi suffer so much?!

38. Do Not Disturb by @foryouthem00n 😔 Sonny Carisi x Reader I do enjoy me some Cranky Carisi lol. Can hardly believe Sonny would turn down cuddles 🥺

39. how the svu characters would react to you pranking them by texting “i miss being single” by @cathrrrine 🥰 The whole SVU gang These are all just a laugh and a half 😆 and so accurate! "Not now. I'm not done sulking yet." OMG seriously Rafa?!!

40. fluff #1 by @writingsforfandoms-multi 🥰 Sonny Carisi x Reader Ya know, I'm just a sucker for some domestic bliss. This one is so precious!

41. Your first five dates with Sonny… by @reddielov-e 🥰 Sonny Carisi x Reader This is such a fun read! Very well thought out, lots of details. "you’re an outstanding woman and you never fail to make me laugh" - ya killing me!

42. Jealousy by @minidodds 😔 Sonny Carisi x Reader This is an oldy but a goody. I go back to this one whenever I'm in the mood for some angst.

43. Trust Me by @ambivertdreamer 😔 Rafael Barba x Reader I really like Rafa stories that follow the plot from Intersecting lives (wtf were you thinking giving out your address Barba?!) and seeing the fall out and consequences that the show didn't really give us. This is a great story that ties up really nicely.

44. Coming Home by @seekret-fanfic 🥰 Sonny Carisi x Reader Warning! Your heart may not be prepared for this amount of fluff!! I fucking LOVE this story - it pulls at the heartstrings in such a delightful way. Warms my cold dead heart 🖤

45. On Takeout and Yoga by @inflagranteinnuendo 🥵 Sonny Carisi x Reader Not your conventional smut piece. This is so well written. I love the flow of the whole story. I love the build up to ending. I love just how goddamn sweet and endlessly understanding Sonny is!!

46. SVU guys picking out engagement rings by @adacarisi 🥰 Sonny Carisi, Rafael Barba, Mike Dodds I've been a wedding-y mood recently, and this just tickles my fancy.

[bunniekittiee]

Can you do some headcanons on Kuai Liang and a female s/o? Your fluff is just so fluffy and aesome! 😩😍

Yes! This is my first time writing for Kuai Liang without like being mentioned in Bi-Han’s stuff or writing little dialogues for him 🫣 so bear with me here.

Kuai Liang x Fem. Reader

SFW-

Kuai Liang is a very passionate and patient lover.

He had to learn patience due to Bi-Han’s incessant bickering and complaining. So he’s fairly good at it.

He could never be angry at his s/o however if there ever is a point of irritation, he will separate himself so he can cool off.

He’s not hot-headed, he just doesn’t want to scare her if he raises his voice or becomes more angry.

Once Kuai knows that he has fallen for her, he is deeply in love.

This pyromancer loves hard. That is just how his heart is.

Although he has many duties to attend to, he will still make as much time as possible for her.

He loves hugs and cuddling. Kuai Liang is not embarrassed to show affection.

Why should he be embarrassed? She is the love of his life. There is nothing wrong with showing affection.

If it’s in front of his brothers, Bi-Han will scoff and Tomas will just giggle.

Bi-Han once referred to your relationship as a distraction and Kuai Liang practically rained hell fire on the Arctika.

Tomas had to break that one up. And Bi-Han stopped talking shit.

Kuai Liang loves taking his s/o out for dinner. He lovessss dates like seriously, he is a sucker for them.

He loves seeing her dressed up and looking all pretty. It makes his heart flutter and he can’t help but feel giddy as if you are both on your very first date.

Like I mentioned, Kuai is affectionate in public. Hand holding, placing his hand on her leg, or wrapping an arm around her, he will do it with no shame.

When people look at them, they see how dearly in love they are. It is etched on their faces.

NSFW-

Kuai Liang trusts himself completely with his powers, so he will use them on his s/o.

But only a little bit.

He will use his warm hands to stimulate her body and make her lean in to his touch.

Kuai is not a selfish lover, he loves giving his s/o pleasure.

So he will gladly eat her out and spend as much time as possible making her comfortable and feel good.

Like I said in the beginning, Kuai Liang is a very passionate man, so this includes the bedroom as well.

His kisses may feel as if they are scorching her skin because of how warm and inviting they are.

The room temperature definitely increases a lot because of his powers.

Kuai Liang does make sure that he does not hurt or burn her, it would seriously make him upset if he did.

A gentle lover, but he can be a little rough if she asks for it.

Aftercare is amazing with Kuai Liang. He takes his time taking care of her.

He believes that aftercare is an important aspect of sex, so he will divulge in it.

Kuai Liang is a sweetheart, but a fiery one at that.

[palmviolet]

Hello! I don’t know if this is strange, but do you have any tips for characterizing Rust? Your writing of him literally feels ripped out of the show in a way I’ve seen very few able to do, and I have trouble balancing his “time is a flat circle, we’re all trapped in Samsara” beliefs with his “normal” (for lack of a better word) pessimism and worldview and always feel like I end up leaning too hard one way or the other. You strike a perfect balance between these (and just generally on his characterization, like, not necessarily just with these issues but on his little quirks and references he’d have as touchstones and small details) in a way that really impresses me. Absolutely no problem if you’ve got nothing (and also you aren’t obliged to divulge your secrets at all!), but either way keep up the great work!!!!

oooh okay great question — thank you so much, i'm so thrilled you enjoy the way i write him <3

i mean let's preface this by saying that i've watched TD s1 maybe... 7 times now? currently on my umpteenth watch in the space of six months. and aside from that i've been marathoning mcconaughey movies so really i've got his voice pretty near to hand if i need it lol and a lot of writing accurate dialogue, i find, is just being able to hear the character saying it in your head.

that being said it's not just dialect inflections; as you say, it's philosophy. i read the conspiracy against the human race by ligotti, which is reportedly the book that rust's whole nihilist philosophy is based on. would absolutely recommend, if you can stomach it — it's basically just immersion in rust's fucked-up head for 300 pages. but the central point to remember here is that rust as a character is as human as anybody else, meaning there doesn't have to be internal consistency w/r/t how his beliefs and actions tesselate with each other. he's made of contradictions and he's deluding himself half the time, alongside everybody else. case in point: that he seems to believe what the doctors told him (that sophia died peacefully without pain) despite his general confidence in the world as a thresher of suffering and the people in it as self-serving, delusional puppets. he clings to what was likely a comforting fiction to support his assertion that to die is better than to live but also to protect himself, because the likely reality (that sophia died in pain and fear) is simply too traumatic for him to handle. and in that he's human — and the constant conflict within his character is between the human instincts towards self-preservation, hope, loneliness, fear, justice, and his belief that those instincts are just the trappings of biology and a fragile constructed system that holds no meaning beyond the circle of an unreal world — a belief that arises from an event so traumatic as to have rewritten those instincts.

so half of it is collecting references to go along with his nihilist philosophy — philosophers, poets, postmodern theorists — and half of it is remembering he's just a guy who has a bottle of hot sauce and a coffee maker and nothing else in his kitchen. in that he has to experience the world just like anybody else does, though he does it a little to the left — i do have fun experimenting with his synaesthesia when writing from his perspective — and he has specific touchstones from his experiences in alaska, in texas, just generally being a cop in the south in the 90s. he'll know a gun make better than he'll know a car; he'll compare a good thing to a drug, not a candy. he'll answer a question honestly but he'll do it with varying levels of sardonicism, depending who's asking. he'll ascribe pain to everyone's existence except his daughter's, though she lived in a cruel world like everyone else, because the only way he can protect her is through the optimism of revisionist memory. just. what a character man

sorry if i've rambled. it's just about getting into his headspace by reading the right things (eg all the AA stuff in infinite jest when i reread it this year very much helped) and remembering it's okay that he doesn't make much sense to you in your narrative, because he's not a character that makes sense — which is what makes him such a good character, because it makes him more real.

thanks for the ask!

[briar-rolfes-research-oubliette]

ON MONDAY, I (FINALLY) MADE IT ALL THE WAY THROUGH THE NEWEST ERAGON BOOK!

MURTAGH

“A Book I Read”

It took three very patient friends of mine to encourage me to finish reading this. I took notes the whole way through, and I am now sharing those in hope of finding loving community with my fellow haters.

Important context:

I loved Eragon, which came out when I was roughly eleven

Christopher Paolini was the first author to ever disappoint me

I used to love epic fantasy, until feminism, coming out, and learning about literary criticism made me just too mean to enjoy it

Since 2015, whenever I’ve had writer’s block, I’ve found inspiration by looking at this screenshot:

Christopher has managed to create a life where his mum has never stopped doing his laundry or his editing for him. He has never worked a job in his life. He has infinite time to work on his craft, and yet, with all of those advantages, he writes the way he does. I don’t hate him, but I do want to destroy him in single combat.

LET US BEGIN.

17 November 2023

I forgot how obsessed this man is with proving he knows rare words. Picking up my phone to google the word “trenchant”.

He really just didn’t want to say the dragon had a sharp sense of humour huh? Oh, no, it’s TRENCHANT. It wasn’t even for dialogue I identified as comedy but Murtagh thought it was TRENCHANT. He and Thorn have been alone in the wilderness for too long

NOT NASUADA BEING DESCRIBED AS HAVING ALMOND EYES

Of course the protagonist has grown a beard. He’s A Man Now.

I have a theory that this book is about coming to terms with marriage. Murtagh is like “our bond… our bond that lasts until death… the oldest magic… only the two of us understand each other. But, we’re also trapped with each other,” and I’m like hm. Fascinating. Say more

Instantly Murt befriends a child, to prove he is good really.

It’s so weird to read a book by a grown man with kids who is like “how did we all start out so innocent and pure…” like have you MET five year olds

This whole fork fight scene makes me feel second hand embarrassment deep in my soul. It’s SO This Guy Is The Best And Coolest

“Fencing with effortless ease” I do not care how well trained he is: you cannot kill four men with long swords by stabbing them with a little fork in “four hard impacts.” It’s just not happening.

I’m really dwelling on the idea of magic as “imposing your will” on something. It’s very.., something. Murtagh cleans his shirt by “imposing his will on the garment” like. Okay, I suppose in a way that is how all laundry is done, but it’s. Hm.

How come he’ll clean a shirt with magic but not shave with magic? Why are these books SO obsessed with beards and shaving and how to do shave and using magic for shaving etc etc, Eragon was also majorly preoccupied with this

Paolini’s got so many complexes on the page. All the “we’re half brothers and your dad killed my dad” stuff is A LOT

The naming stuff… SMH what would Ursula Le Guin say about all this

I’m obsessed with how even as (gasp) an OUTCAST!! Murtagh can’t not be the coolest guy ever for any time at all. It’s like a disease

Giving the child the enchanted killing fork was the worst decision ever made. Murtagh gives her a murder weapon and is then moping like “what’s it like… to live without killing…” literally pages later.

I’m really startled that Murt is delighted to see a tiny flying magical grass boat come down from the sky and circle him instead of being like “wtf, I’m being Watched,” which would be the true act of a man we are told is paranoid

I just got to the bit where Murtagh offhandedly says that magic users who “are the heaviest” always have the most spell reserves.

Like……… what???? Magic eats your fat?? It burns glucose??

You could be a better mage if you just, ate a bunch of raspberry frogs before each fight??????

It’s food powered??? You really want to go there, Paolini????? Wizards in the candy shop, eating sweeties like Mistborns?

GOD, if only Galbatorix had chugged a bottle of red cordial before his last big fight!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(I return after losing my mind about this to my partner for forty minutes)

If it was “if you’re hungry you can’t FOCUS” I’d get it. But I always assumed it was like, you know how other fantasy does it? Some kind of pool of ADDITIONAL energy that you are accessing and that can be used up (until you go too far and start using life force or whatever). Like, it’s CHANNELLING it that makes you tired, not that it’s literal food energy.

Murtagh is always running or doing his sword forms or whatever and now I’m like “DUDE, NO!!!?!? DON’T BURN YOUR WIZARD CALORIES!!?!?”

I like when magic can’t do EVERYTHING, when it’s consistent or limited in some way, but I do hate the idea that it’s this predictable. Food energy becomes raw magical power. I GUESS.

(A little later)

Screaming at the suggestion Thorn can tell when Murtagh is horny.

I don’t like the euphemisms. It makes it worse

The fact he can’t talk to his dragon whenever they’re “too far apart” (distance never specified) is making me insane. Why did I pick up the dragon riding book if it’s mostly about leaving your dragon locked up at the bike rack

I know Thorn is basically a rescue dog with anxiety, but it bothers me how much he’s left on his own. The narrative just has no idea what to use him for other than speedy transport for the first um… 200 pages, it seems? He’s meant to be his own creature with his own intelligence. He doesn’t go anywhere without Murtagh though. So what is he doing all the time

I think Paolini WANTS his world to be big and mysterious (his introduction literally just keeps saying things in the world of the story are mysterious) but he HAS to keep explaining everything

24 November 2023

I’ve figured out something that annoys me about the world of this book, in terms of just how the worldbuilding is not actually that magical. It has the D&D problem!!! Which is to say that every regular person on earth is Level One and every important character is like, level 12. And part of what makes that even worse is that all women in this world are level zero.

I’ve been watching my friend Chris play the first Alan Wake game and we realised that all the faceless enemies that are possessed by Evil in the game are… working class men. The protagonist is this literate wealthy New York writer who is constantly killing faceless workers—farmers, loggers, coal miners, builders. And that’s not an INTENTIONAL commentary by the game, but it’s very revealing. And This book is the same in that: there is no such thing as a complicated poor person. They’re all either Dirty Evil or Dirty Good. Murtagh is going around, writing poetry in his head and inventing magical computer code, and then every child is an urchin who is like Oi Guvnah, and every dad is gruff, and every woman is worried.

The language used to describe everyone who isn’t a Fighting Man is so demeaning. And even then, we only need to respect the leaders of those men. The leaders are the only ones with depth who might need to be taken seriously.

It’s like Murtagh has a tally in his head where he is going “finally, a guy who is level 6”!

Most people in this world exist to deliver information to the protagonist.

Paolini either thinks his readers are too dumb to understand that his characters exist between scenes, or he doesn’t understand himself that we don’t need to see every time Murtagh enters a city under a new name and how he does it. Or know what he ate for dinner and how he prepared it and where he slept and what he dreamed and, and, and—

It’s weird because Paolini is being self indulgent as fuck but it is NOT fun to read. This dude really just needs to go write a survival story or something… A guy in the woods depending on nothing but his wits and his axe and his beard and his libertarian values

I don’t understand the stakes at play. All the magic scenes with Mind Penetration are so sudden and hard to actually understand as action. And the way it works is about brute force, so the dragon is not going to be at risk of being taken over except by another, even bigger dragon

It would be fun to read the Murtagh city sleuth segments if Thorn was backseat driving a little. I think that their bond should not get thinner over distance. The fact that it does just defeats the point of a magical bond.

Why does the dragon have to stay so far away? Like… it’s established that there’s a spell to conceal a dragon from sight. Dude. You could just go fucking invisible

There’s so many decisions that just are so bonkers to have made. The whole fetch quest for information pissed me off so bad. “You have to join the guard” (40 pages of emotions about uniforms ensue). This guy learned about plots from video games

Paolini had kids apparently, but you can tell he doesn’t really understand kids. “How do they all start out so innocent and pure,” says a man who has never heard a seven year old describe someone being killed by farts before.

The description of Murtagh carrying a cat that doesn’t want to be carried is very funny. I don’t know if Paolini has ever carried a cat before. If you’re carrying a cat that doesn’t want to be carried close to your chest, and you tighten your grip when it squirms… say goodbye to your nipples, my man

It’s strange how much Paolini doesn’t explore the things that seem to be the point. FOR EXAMPLE, the fantasy soul bond trope loves to say “even during sex!??! 👀” because it’s about INTIMACY, and some alien presence always being there. The dragon rider trope is popular because dragons are powerful and wise but also Beasts. Magic is fun to read about because it can do things that can’t be explained.

Paolini’s world is big, but nothing in it has any real substance. Nothing in it has any real consequence, and it makes it impossible to really invest in anything that happens. None of these poor city folks have a life once they leave the scene of delivering Murtagh information… or if they are a woman, delivering him a hot meal. There’s no sense of a world that exists outside Murtagh’s point of view!

25 November 2023

The towns so far don’t feel at all distinctive to me! I was interested in the one with the massive lake, but then it having this massive fish in it was the only point of interest. It would be fun to have been like “oh the fish has ruined our summer festival! It’s ruined the nobility pleasure cruises! It’s also eating fishermen!” Or “Why do all these fishing boats have huge spikes on the prow? Well,”

Again, these guys are all level one in peasant dirt town. They have no capacity for individual thought and no ability to adapt.

It’s like Paolini doesn’t know what makes people and places in fantasy feel distinct, or have culture. It’s so evident in how much he HASN’T thought about. For example, the bonkers amount of restrictive gender norms that he doesn’t seem AT ALL CONSCIOUS OF? Everyone who died in the war was A Man. No women died in the war. But that hasn’t resulted in any social changes. There aren’t more women doing work, for example, like being fishermen

I remember being thirteen or so and reading the bit in the second book where Arya explains to Eragon that she’s better and stronger than a human woman, because she is an elf, so Eragon doesn’t have to worry about her in battle. I was this kid there like “man, that sucks. I assume he’s coming back to that assumption later,” and… he never did. He still hasn’t. And that sucks

The dragon riders were not THAT long ago, in the world of these books. It makes me wonder—were none of them human women? I always assumed that some were human women, but… did dragons only choose elf men, elf women, and human men? If they chose human women, then even being accepted into a paramilitary dragon force didn’t change gender expectations in the rest of the world. What the fuck. He’s really never thought about this.

Women keep showing up as cunning-mysterious, as humble dirtmothers, or as innocent children. Oh my god I’m just describing maiden mother crone. That’s all he’s capable of.

I just got up to where he rescues the werecat baby (innocent girl child) and settles in to hear the stories of elder werecat (cunning-mysterious)

I noticed the Arya Problem with how Nasuada is described in this book, too. Every woman has to be the best, most capable, most powerful woman ever, to be worth the attention of The Boys. Otherwise they can’t respect her. Only two literal queens can be considered worthy of just two average guys who got pet lizards. Even then, they’re not actual equals.

“She still empathised for me.” Yes, don’t worry, Murtagh, I remember that’s what women are for.

I should note that the reason Nasuada is considered so powerful and so much worthy of his love and is her strength as a person. This is proven in the Eragon books because “she still empathised” with Murtagh whilst he was medieval torturing her. He was medieval torturing her for like… most of a book and that’s how they fell in love. Because she could see in his eyes that this guy torturing her… was Complicated. He didn’t really WANT to be medieval torturing her so she actually felt worse for him than he felt about how he was (and I can’t stress this enough) medieval torturing her

I just can’t imagine that THE QUEEN OF A WHOLE CONTINENT would still prefer the guy who sadly tortured her. He’s her top preference. Out of EVERY OTHER MAN IN THE WORLD

I put the book down until the day before I was meant to have finished the book for book club:

10 March 2024: from page 274 onwards

The evil witch is called BACHEL?????!!?!??!? Fucking BACHEL. Pronounced “buh-SHELL”, the guide at the back says. You changed one letter in Rachel, don’t lie to me Paolini

I got so mad being reminded the evil king Galbatorix was defeated by “Eragon forcing empathy upon him” so that he magically exploded himself out of guilt that I had to put the book down and complain to Charlie for five straight minutes

I guess that’s why Galbatorix made Murtagh torture Nasuada for him. He knew that if he’d done it himself she would have empathised with him too hard and he would’ve exploded himself

Murtagh has never met a single person he has respected. Murtagh is the specialest boy in all the land. Eragon had to leave the country because they were both too special to share a continent

Murtagh decided on where to go and he was immediately surrounded by armed guards who took him to where the plot was

Paolini uses the fucking word “admixed” while discussing EATING A PIE. The flavours admixed in his mouth. Just because you know a word… doesn’t mean it’s a word to deploy about eating a pie

I HATE how the only people strong enough to do the strongest magic are Elves Or Human Riders. It’s fucking magic my guy! Why is it checking your goddamn DNA! Also, hey! Wasn’t it supposed to come down to the strongest wizards being the guys who ate the most for lunch?

In a world of Magic how come every wizard battle ultimately comes down to who is a better Professor X?? I came here for fireballs, not Mind Battles. I don’t care about your Mental Wards

Hahaha Murtagh!!! Get trapdoored, bitch!!!!

Dragon panic attacks: conceptually cool but a bit ?? Like ah… the plot literally comes to scoop him up and carry him away. Yet again something outside of Murtagh makes a decision for him about what to do next

Murtagh’s poetry is going to make me explode myself like Galbatorix in book 4

If there’s something I like about this book so far it’s just the bits where he and Thorn are camping. Not flying, because then Murtagh is using the time to think and that’s horrible. The bits where they make campfires or whatever feel like something is actually happening. A guy and his dragon hanging out

Man. The way this novel is plotted really reminds me that it’s not actually that hard to write a book.

Murtagh goes to the evil village (oh yeah there’s an evil village. It is where Bachel lives. She is evil because she does magic without using the magic language). The village is called:

NAL GORGOTH

But I couldn’t remember this so I kept referring to it in my head by another, more familiar, name

Murtagh is so freaked out by finding a village with architecture that he doesn’t recognise. He’s like “My god!!! Nasuada has to be warned!!!” Ok but about what??? New ways of building pillars???? The art deco movement threatens the land??

Kinda fascinated by how much this village represents a threat to CULTURE. The architecture, the people… Everything about it so far is designed to be A Foreign Threat. The inhabitants are Of All Races (except elves they are too cool too pure etc). The humans have A VARIETY OF SKIN COLOURS, which memorably never happens in Alagaesia, a continent once explicitly described in the Eragon books as only having two (2) black people on it at all (then one died) (the other is Nasuada) (the one who died was her dad)

This guy with a goatee isn’t quite human. He is maybe part urgal and he is so uncomfortable to look at! Mainly he has arms that are a bit too long!! Bachel isn’t a human and also isn’t an elf, and that’s also deeply unsettling.

Bachel also fundamentally represents a threat to THE STRUCTURING POWER OF LANGUAGE, huh??

Bachel is so far the most interesting character in the book!

Bachel has: ALMOND EYES and AMBER SKIN

Murtagh is so upset and confused when Bachel calls him “my son” like… I’m cryign. “But she’s not my mother! I know my mother!!” he thinks, in a panic.

If this was a fantasy novel written twenty to thirty years ago, then the sexual tension between Murtagh and Bachel would be absolutely insane. Alas, this is a world of abstinence, and sexuality is only ever meaningful looks between a queen and the guy who tortured her (it is weird how he keeps caressing Nasuada’s face on the gold coins)

It’s very funny that Bachel has specifically fourteen warriors. The prose keeps telling us that there’s fourteen of them. So you get Murtagh stepping forwards and then sentences like “the fourteen warriors attending Bachel shifted”

She seems like a perfectly normal cult leader to me? Why is she automatically a threat to Nasuada! How come the two of them can’t arrange a toxic political marriage that becomes… something more 😉😉😉

Nothing annoys me more in this book than Murtagh being able to identify specific vintages of wine. It keeps happening and it pisses me off

Bachel is a half elf!!! “It had never occurred to him that such a thing might be possible.” This is truly and absolutely unbelievable to me. Nobody in this world ever has sex

How did it take so long to get to such an objectively cool village!!! Like this is just a cool place!!! Sorry that Nar Nar Goon is evil but like FINALLY something has style

Three thoughts at once:

I’m so bored that Paolini’s mind can’t get more interesting than temple virgins, let alone wearing white to represent ritualistic purity. Like… nobody in this world fucks anyway, why does it matter!

Murtagh should also wear white all the time

Lesbianism doesn’t count as a violation of being temple chosen. Alín is wearing lesbianism

Paolini has never once written a woman who is Normal. He just can’t conceive of it. You can feel how he starts sweating.

Murtagh finally realised it was a cult. What sets it apart as a cult is that the followers appear to be “half-wits” to him

I’m going to detransition to break his fucking neck

Paolini has learned nothing since he had a woman deliver the exact same line in like 2008. The fact that another editor just thumbsed this up. The fact that this is in a book published in 2023. Well, now I’m REALLY embarking on an antagonistic reading: that’s right, I am reading women as capable.

Obsessed with Bachel. She is a girlboss and I’m a feminist xxx

Book is constantly weird about how much she is capable of eating and drinking at her feasts and how it makes her appear swollen and bloated etc etc. Murtagh is so weirded out by this because he feels it is unfeminine… as though she is not a witch and we weren’t told earlier that how much magic you have is directly equal to how much you eat. (Meanwhile he is only picking at his food and eating just enough of it ‘to be polite’ as though this is not making a decision to have less magic than her)

She has so much charisma compared to anyone else in the book. If my choices are her or Murtagh then sign me up boys!!!

Okay but much like how this would’ve been a VERY charged relationship 30 years ago, I’m weirdly disappointed Bachel she isn’t not described as megahot? Like the book keeps telling me about this virginal templemaiden or whatever, because Murtagh is only attracted to women he can rescue. But I’m actually just like… I think this woman is hot. Tell me more about her. It’s wild that this book is written by a guy like Paolini, who told me all about Oromis’ pubic hair in 2008, and who barely thinks women are people. Yet he doesn’t want to discuss her tiddies?

This book could, and should! have started when Murtagh landed his dragon in the evil village of Nar Nar Goon. That’s the point that stuff got actually interesting. Everything before this was literally video game fetch quest logic plotting that earned him the right to fly to Nar Nar Goon.

Boar hunt. More like BORED hunt. And then suddenly there are so many pigs, a comical number of them flying everywhere

This motherfucker using the phrase “the boar was lying athwart him” in a sentence in an action scene????

Murtagh is nearly dead and the boar is lying athwart him?

I’m going back in time and bullying the author at school

RIP Murtagh, trambled to death by 30-50 wild hogs

Oh god every time someone knocks Murtagh out he has a vision or a bad dream or a flashback or whatever and it’s so tiring

“EXISTENCE WAS A TOMB WHEREIN THE SINS OF THE PAST LAID INTERRED???” Do you ever read a sentence that sounds so much like the author is jerking it? “All had been lost, and there before him lay the instrument of their destruction” he is furiously jerking it oh my god. “Destroyer of hope, eater of light” oh, god, he’s still going

…This book is. Weird about mothers

Murtagh flies into a rage because Bachel mercy killed a guy who was dying bc of boar trampling because “I COULD HAVE HEALED HIM!!!!!” And the mercy killing is proof it is a cult. Because doing it Bachel’s way meant the guy was too relaxed and at peace when he died

Paolini’s family were in a cult, as I understand. So it’s kind of weird how much he doesn’t really understand how being in a cult works

I don’t really remember how religion works in this world, but I do remember tuning out of a long boring passage in book 2 or 3 where Eragon learned about all the gods and decided he was an atheist. It’s especially weird to be like “holy shit, an EVIL religion??!” In a book where religion has absolutely never come up before now

Oh my god, Alìn was whipped for being ‘too familiar’ with Murtagh!!! That’s because she’s so pure and a helpless victim girl in all white :’((

In my mind Bachel and Alìn COULD be in a fucked up lesbian relationship with bad BDSM etiquette. Of course Paolini can’t imagine a world where women have enough personality or agency to fall in toxic love with each other. Also even though he has people tied up and strapped down and whipped and being tortured etc in every book don’t think he knows that BDSM like. Exists. Boooooo

Murtagh: killing one guy who is dying of a punctured lung is the ultimate evil!

Also Murtagh: I know an invisibility spell, but to sneak out of my room I am going to suffocate seven men to death

Genuinely upsetting to read those men dying. He made it impossible for air to enter or exit their lungs with a word. Veins popping clawing at faces etc. God, what a way to go. So unnecessarily cruel. Yep, there goes the good guy

The main way the village is evil is that there are unsettling carvings everywhere. Paolini read some Lovecraft, but he did not understand what was up with it. Or maybe he did, because this book did get a lot more weird about Racial Purity once Murtagh arrived in Lovecraft Village

11 March 2024

There’s a bloodstain that “filled Murtagh with the apprehension of evil” and it confused me because these books are so gory. Earlier he killed four men with a fork. But like oh yeah I guess it’s because when Murtagh murders people now it’s bloodless. I guess. His murders are good you see

This chapter is called The Bad Sleep-Well you can tell Paolini thought he was a real genius for this one

Okay but why are there bats… roosting… in a cave… at night. And why is Murtagh worried that red light will risk waking them? Animals cannot see red light?? SOME FARM BOY YOU ARE, PAOLINI

Okay I have to stop nitpicking. I have to restrain myself until my Vyvanse kicks in

“Murtagh felt a sense of not just age but antiquity. Whoever had built the stairs had done so long before Alagaesia had been a settled place. What was it Bachel had said? That the cultists had lived in Nal Gorgoth since before elves were elves... He was starting to think she had told the truth.”

Sorry uhhhh, Alagaesia was settled?? When they talk about The Grey Ones, are they talking about a race PRIOR TO COLONISATION?????????

“He continued forward. Deeper into the womb of the earth. Deeper into the black unknown, seeking, seeking, always seeking a farther shore, every sense razor-sharp and razor-scraped, skin all goosefleshed, cold sweat dripping down the back of his neck and gathering around his belted waist.”

God it’s so overwrought...

He found the well!!

Oh my god. The well is a natural magic hotspot and that means it “wasn’t the sort of thing that the Draumar ought to have dominion over.” It’s a natural resource???

“Not that he would want Du Vrangr Gata to assume control over such an important location either. This was exactly what the Riders had been created for: to oversee and mediate that which could destabilize the land.”

Murtagh is going to bring democracy to the Middle East

He’s too scared to mentally contact his dragon with Bachel around. If he was a proper horse girl he would find a way

Oh Galbatorix BECAME evil because he met Bachel and she manipulated him. Haha oh dear. No, you can’t just come to the conclusion the dragon rider paramilitary force who controls the resources are bad on your own. Not just because they sent you into the mountains when they knew it was dangerous and wanted to find out if you’d be killed up there! No, a manipulation had to have happened

It’s funny to me that the evil ancient witch queen who lives in seclusion in the mountains uses the new name for the city of Uru’baen. Oh no, she knows it as Ilirea. She’s hundreds and hundreds of years old. You know what that is? Evidence of Find And Replace, to me.

Bachel’s eyes are “glowing with fevered ecstasy.” I could make her feel that way. Also. Because, I know about sex

Always with the fucking passing out at the end of the chapter for Christopher James Paolini

NOW Bachel is being described appropriately as a hottie. FINALLY. GOD! It only took Murtagh being mind controlled in his brain but I. I!!! I could see the glorious light of truth!!

“He followed, dumb and wildered.” Well, not as much as that sentence. (You can be bewildered. But can you ever just be wildered????)

The dedication to making Murtagh the most pitiful little meow meow in existence in the Galbatorix flashbacks I’m… what happened to the joys of a guy who is evil because he was convinced or was tricked, not because he was fully brain abused???

The Urgals are racially… uncomfortable. Yellow eyes and Murtagh just straight up saying “how do you speak English”

The evil guys have masks and they put them on and like channel the animals the masks are of and on one hand it’s an idea I THINK is cool but also combined with the everything it really has this “tribal stuff is threatening” vibe all over it

“What do you want, witch?”

“I want you.”

Obsessed with how he’s shackled to a table and there’s still an incredible lack of sexual energy to this scene. This is like a day at the office for both of them.

… oh, but she is wearing claws and claws DOES equal a threat of penetration. Maybe a little sexual? As a treat??

Him being tortured reminds him of torturing Nasuada. Wow, it was their first date!

It’s just like. It’s fucked up imo. She should never kiss you Murtagh!!!

Is anything more boring than a torture scene.

Also, was he not drugged right before this scene? How is he able to mentally evade her and power his wards etc?

I’m mad that when he’s brought fancy foods by Alìn he doesn’t share his food with Ubek the Urgal

Oh my god Ubek tells him a story where the moral is just him outright saying at the end, “it’s important to stay close to the people we care for, even if we don’t always fit in so easily” lmao. Subtlety of a mallet

Is anything more boring than a torture scene? How about a torture chapter!!!1!1!1!

This chapter is interminable. Oh my god.

Oh, so we did all that and he gives in I guess. I can’t believe how little agency this man has had throughout this book????

Haha oh my god, Bachel is studying his nude and compliant body in front of her court. Telling him to turn around so she can inspect his back (no mention of his ass even though it is out, tragic). Fucking love it. Now that’s bdsm. Pledging my allegiance to her instantly.

I am BORED. I liked when he was at least doing things of his own volition!

He flies his dragon off on Bachel’s orders and we get the line “Never had air smelled so… so… delicious.” Cryign

GASP he’s killed… CHILDREN!!!!!!! I hate how it only becomes horrifying for him to have done these murders once he realises they’re HUMAN children. Urgal children? The implication is that would’ve been a bit tacky but ultimately fine

Prison brothers blood pact. I feel so little about this. Ubek is 5000x more interesting than Murtagh but he’s been slotted into what is unfortunately a sort of magical indigenous person trope but where instead of being a human being, he is an orc. Which makes the whole trope much worse

Murtagh touched Alìn’s face… gasp! She’s been corrupted by the Touch Of A Man!!!!! (I do not care about this.)

(I care a little. For example she didn’t touch HIM. He just reached out and she didn’t pull away. This is the biggest decision about this character’s life, and she isn’t even allowed to be the one who makes it. He decides on her behalf, and she must be okay with it. Because she doesn’t pull away or fight him off.)

(Also Paolini doesn’t seem to be aware that ‘a woman who has been pledged not to be touched by a man’ would um. USUALLY be understood by a reader as euphemistic. Not that her purity could be forever ruined by a man literally just touching her face)

The way Paolini fills Murtagh’s brainwashed dialogue with oops all ellipses makes me want to tear the book apart with my teeth

Worst: how Grieve the guy who is part urgal is perpetually referred to as “heavy-browed.” “the heavy-browed Grieve” I’m sorry but I missed phrenology school, is that bad??

Also if he’s maybe part Urgal but Murtagh is now given a chance to making it clear that some of his best friends are urgals... Why is Grieve so distastefully described? What’s wrong with being half urgal? My suspicion: it’s the bloodlines intermingling

I suspect I can just skip every fucking dream sequence and flashback. Nothing of any value in these

This one guy, Lyreth, who trapdoored Murtagh for 2.5 seconds ages ago in the book, is TWICE referenced as holding/ touching the waists of “village” or “cultist” women in his dialogue tags. That’s the full extent of it. It’s not that there’s a giggling tavern girl sprawled in his lap while he’s speaking. These faceless women are exclusively sketched into existence by how a named male character’s hand is on their waist. We don’t know anything about how they are responding to his touch, which is extra in-your-face considering that Murtagh just obliterated a woman’s ritual purity by touching her face without asking. And it’s only ever these women’s waist. It’s not their hips or thighs or boobs. He’s not kissing their necks. I’m sure in Paolini’s mind this guy touching women’s waists is meant to read as sexual, which is supposed to reinforce that he’s a scumbag… but it doesn’t work because it’s so impersonal. These women are just… unmoving waists that he is just touching. It serves as a good illustration of how women—and sex and sexuality and bodies—are handled in these books. Men are never ruled by their strong and muscular bodies. Men have minds, and magic, and telepathy battles. Even when Murtagh is on a torture table or when he’s naked in front of a powerful woman who is actively inspecting his body, he doesn’t feel vulnerable. He doesn’t have an ass or a dick. The wind doesn’t make him shiver. He’s just a Mind. But women, well. They only have bodies when men touch them. The course of Alin’s life is defined by Murtagh’s touch, and even Nasuada, a fucking queen, only gets physical description via the coins Murtagh has in his possession and his memory of the cuts and bruises he left on her body. And women also have no minds—unless they’re werecats or elves or half elves, the only kind of woman who are remotely threatening, the only kind of women who are “as good as” the baseline of human men. Nasuada is proven as Murtagh’s equal because she was able to overcome the torture of her body. If he hadn’t tortured her, or if she had broken down, she wouldn’t have proven herself worthy of being his romantic partner.

Eragon’s romantic interest also started out being tortured. Not by him, but “girl who is tortured but is too strong to give up her secrets” was her entire characterisation for a book and a half, until he rescued her. That’s uh. That’s how you find girlfriends who are good enough for your protagonists.

THESE FUCKING BOOKS.

Bachel has put Thorn in a special wrought iron muzzle. Yet again, this is just objectively cool

We learn about who the cult worships: evil dragon underground. He makes fumes come out of the earth and they brainwash people and give them visions. He will come out of the ground and eat the sun unless every living thing worships him.

Really Bachel is not leading a cult she is leading an environmental rescue mission. Quick we gotta get everyone to worship this evil dragon STAT, or he’s going to wipe out all life on earth.

Why does an evil dragon living under the earth with the power to eat the sun (?!??!) actually want or need to be worshipped by “every living thing”. What is his motivation?? And why would that stop him eating the sun?

“The sculptures would have horrified most any artist in Alagaesia, no matter their race.” Mark this down as one of the worst sentences he has written yet!!

I realise now I’ve been misremembering multiple main characters’ names

I like Bachel telling Thorn to stay, like he’s a dog. That’s good to me

Murtagh is learning about the power of friendship to heal himself last minute, I guess

Why is Murtagh pausing to duel fucking Lyreth, the most boring man in the world. Is it because of the waists he touched??? I have never felt this man was worth any time at all

NOT Paolini specifically pointing out that Lyreth “smelled of a cloying peach scented perfume” and that he’s physically weaker than Murtagh as Murtagh overcomes him. Lyreth was too feminine to be strong, in the end

This book is obsessed with the word “youngling.” Murtagh says to Thorn “don’t kill any younglings.” He’s fighting Lyreth but he’s not worried because he himself is “no longer a youngling”. Fucking fuck off! just say youth. Child. Kid. Teenager even!! Come on!!

Murtagh going “this is taking too long” in the duel: me at the whole book thus far

“Is wrong-think to worship Bachel or Azlagur,” says Ubek. This is real dialogue in a book published in real 2023. Oh yeah btw everything he says is written like this

Oh, the urgal’s size and brute strength makes him Murtagh’s equal. I see

Grieve is legitimately yelling “kill the non-believers!!” and calling them desecrators??? Cartoon hours

To start winning the fight, all Murtagh had to do was find his magic sword! It stores all his potency and he inherited it from his father. Freud?? Don’t worry about it

The cultists are bleeding green blood???? Does this mean they’re not human or is it the lighting or what.

Groups of dragons are always being described as a Thunder Of. They’re only ever being described in visions but it’s always being described as “a thunder of dragons”, because Paolini is very proud of inventing his very own collective noun for dragons I guess

Buncha little pasty freaks showing up.

Murtagh’s ultimate challenge: he has to fight one hundred gollums

Paolini inventing new guys for his dungeon at unprecedented rates

Murtagh is legitimately busy trying to think of new names for his sword NOW?? He is just going to stop in the middle of this urgent fight to go find where the bad woman (Bachel) took the good woman (Alìn) to go “my sword has a bad name. It could have a good name.” Did he not have time while he was mouldering in the dungeon to think about this

He’s checking his compendium, like in video games.

Books have never been worse. If Murtagh/Paolini calls this sword Scar I will legitimately never know peace

Oh the sword is called Freedom now. Get it? Like America? It’s the most important value??

“Seeing the armor, Murtagh realized that the leather garb the cultists had donned for the festival of black smoke had been made to resemble Bachel's fantastic suit.”

what a sentence

This is the worst

I hate how her spear has a name and a dramatic history. Like come on

Fucking mind battles again

Alin is just… I’m sorry to her, but she’s not a real person. She’s a cardboard cutout in distress

The final boss fight should not be taking place in the magical world of the mind

Now she’s calling him “infidel?” Okay

The ultimate battle: the structuring power of masculine language versus the primeval chaos of raw women’s emotion!!! Who will win!! Hint: Christopher Paolini wrote this!

“She seemed merely a woman again.”

‘Merely’ is how Paolini always describes women (when he thinks they’re worth describing of course)

Wait… is the only reason Bachel has been intimidating REALLY just because she’s been channelling a tough evil boy dragon? Once the mask is gone and he’s not empowering her… she’s merely…

I’m going to kick Christopher Paolini’s fucking ass

Murtagh feels so emotionally close to Bachel. As he splits her skull. Normal book

For real why were ALL the Riders so afraid of Bachel??? The gas fumes? Face masks not invented?? This seems pretty easy to solve like if they’d just. Sent more than one guy?

He passes out and the chapter ends of course. Then he wakes up in the city

Ah, Alin is blonde and blue eyed. She was a pale skinned virgin who needed rescuing from an evil and also foreign almond eyed amber skinned woman who was whipping her. You know how it goes

I hate how Alìn always calls Murtagh “my lord.” She’s like one of those medieval fighting game banners of a sexy woman. She’s a cartoon.

Isn’t it a shame that when Murtagh hastily gets out of bed to bow to Nasuada he is wearing pants. So much funnier if he wasn’t

I’m so over this book holy shit

Oh, for being the apparently only sole survivor of Murtagh’s obliteration of her cult and everything she’s ever known, Alìn is being promoted to… Nasuada’s maid. That’s not what she asked for. That’s just what she’s being told she’s going to do from now on. Fucking hell.

Nasuada is Jealous of this blonde woman and I was afraid for her because Nasuada is also famously the only black woman on the continent. But of course she has nothing to fear because only the most powerful woman in the land could ever be remotely Murtagh’s equal, which she proved by being stronger at being tortured than him

She asks him to stay and she touches his hand just lightly

The END??

They don’t even kiss?!!!?!! I had to read it twice to be sure. SEXLESS BOOK.

[blurglesmurfklaine]

hello nobody asked but here are more unsolicited Newsies Uno ReVerse thoughts that I can NOT get out of my head

Crutchie is Jack’s brother, but he never expects him to go out selling with his disability

When Les and Davey meet Crutchie for the first time, Les tells Jack something borderline offensive like “Why didn’t you tell me youse had a little brother with a bum leg? Between my face and his leg, we coulda been making MILLIONS this whole time!”

Davey is appropriately embarrassed and apologizes profusely on his brother’s behalf

Davey is obsessed with Portland, Oregon (it’s his Santa Fe) somewhere he can get away from the heated claustrophobia of the city, lock himself away in a cabin and finally put down on paper the little stories he tells himself to get through the day

Jack volunteers to go to Brooklyn with Davey

Les is the one hauled away to the refuge after Seize The Day

David and Katherine are the ones who hit it off, and Jack is The Pining One (TM)

Post-Rally, the Something To Believe In scene starts off with Kath confronting Davey and i don’t have details but I do have this piece of dialogue:

“If you weren’t a girl, you’d find out exactly why they call me Mouth.” “I think your inability to shut up might have something to do with it.” “No, it’s because when I hear someone talking about something they have no idea about, I aim for the mouth. And I don’t miss.”

And then Kath kisses him and Davey’s like omg??? Do I…..??? Like girls??? (Bc living in a house full of boys there’s no WAY he doesn’t already know he’s gay (umbrella term))

This Affects Post Canon bc I said so. Fun Post Canon Stuff (it’s fun for ME. Probably not for yall. You’ll call it angst or something):

Jack catches a Davey and Katherine kiss when they win the strike and it kind of makes him Unwell

Davey gets a job writing for The World

Jack has a hard time adjusting going back to school, can’t focus, realizes he’s happiest when he’s with the newsies (and Davey)

He brings up to Medda the idea of dropping out to get a job. She agrees because she sees how unhappy he is and school really just isn’t I for him

Kath gets him a job as an artist at The World

This means he has to see Davey and Kath Together Every Day and it makes him even more Unwell (although he loves the art part of it!)

Davey notices this because he is Davey

Because he is Davey and is the smartest man in the room but also the biggest idiot on the planet, he completely misconstrues the reason Jack is Being Weird

So Davey invites Jack to hang out one on one, without Katherine and Jack accepts at first but it gets harder and harder and Davey is more engrained in his life than ever and he just can’t do it

So Jack stops interacting with Davey at work, blows him off outside of it, and generally starts distancing himself and Davey is totally clueless

Finally, he goes to Katherine and complains about it and the conversation goes something like this:

“I thought spending time alone with him, away from you—no offense—would make him feel better. You know, remind him that no matter what’s going on with you and me that he’s still my friend.”

“I think that’s part of the problem, Davey.”

“I mean yeah. Truth be told if he and I weren’t friends I doubt you and I would even be an issue. I think he’d just go for it.”

“…… What?”

“I think he’d ask you on a date outright, instead of feeling guilty about his feelings for you.”

“….. oh my god you fucking idiot.”

Don’t ask me how this is resolved because i have absolutely no idea :)

[f1letters]

maroon | cs55

"how the hell did we lose sight of us again? sobbing with your head in your hands, ain't that the way shit always ends?"

summary: they both knew their relationship would ruin them both, but they couldn't stop themselves from running back to each other every goddamn time

warning: angst, toxic relationship, mentions of a vicious cycle of breaking up and making up, right person wrong time, suggestive language, swearing, a bunch of references to older classic rock bands and albums (and CAS because they are my fav band of all time haha), open ending

pairing: carlos sainz x reader

word count: 4.3k

note: everything in bold are song references and in italic are thoughts, which includes memories from the past.

spanish words used: hermosa = beautiful; corazón = heart

hey everybody! honestly, this song is the one I've been looking forward to writing the most since the beginning... I worked so hard and I gave everything I had in me to this story (hence the story being the longest so far, something about writing for Carlos just makes me write so much more every time, haha), I couldn't be more proud of what I did! haha, hopefully, you guys love it as much as I do! happy holidays to everyone! 💜

masterlist

When the morning came

We were cleaning incense off your vinyl shelf

'Cause we lost track of time again

Laughing with my feet in your lap

Like you were my closest friend

Dozens of voices echoed through the crowded room, engaged in different conversations and dialogues.

The crowd seemed to have a life of its own. Old friends catching up on the latest news in their lives. New friends being made unexpectedly. The sharing of the latest gossip and rumours among the most curious souls. The sound of endless, genuine laughter through the halls.

In the middle of the glowing lights, the shiny clothes and the loud music, hidden in the shadows, there she was.

Y/N had escaped the huddled bodies until she found refuge in an empty room. With the door closed, the noise of the party was now muffled, leaving the girl alone with her thoughts as she searched through a vinyl shelf she found there.

Led Zeppelin. Pink Floyd. Radiohead. The Clash. Their owner had taste, she thought, fascinated by their timeless records. The young woman also appreciated these older classic albums, although she couldn't find many people like her.

With her hands roaming over the vinyl without much care for the party happening, Y/N nearly dropped a Nirvana album on the floor when the bedroom door burst open.

"Oh." The unknown man said, stopping in his track when he came face to face with her. "Sorry, but do I know you?"

"Hmm, I don't think so." The girl frowned in doubt. Her eyes widened as she realized she was clearly breaking into someone's room. "Oh my god, is this your room? It is, isn't it? What was I thinking going in like that-"

"Hey, don't worry! It's okay! I just wasn't expecting to see anyone in here." He chuckled softly, extending his hand to the girl. "I'm Carlos, and you are...?"

"Y/N, nice to meet you!" She shook his hand back. The girl could have sworn she felt a spark run through her veins as soon as she felt his touch.

"Hmm, sorry for going through your stuff. I- I'm a huge music lover and I- Just couldn't help myself." The girl continued, half choking up, half laughing at herself, lifting the album in her hand to show Carlos what she was doing.

"I don't mind." The driver responded, approaching her and taking the vinyl from her hold. The warm skin of his hand contrasted with her cool one, letting his touch linger. "So, are you a Nevermind fan?"

"More of a Bleach girl myself." Y/N said smugly, her eyes glazing over the boy's charming figure before returning to the shelf. "You have an incredible collection. I wish I had this many records."

"How'd we end up on the floor, anyway?" you say

"Your roommate's cheap-ass screw-top rosé, that's how"

I see you every day now

Hours passed, and both lost track of time as they talked about everything and anything. 

Y/N and Carlos were instantly attracted to each other, bonded not just by their shared love of music but by a soul connection neither could explain.

It was profound in ways that were beyond physical attraction, it had to be experienced to be truly understood.

Almost like their souls knew each other from the past.

The couple stood there, only a few hours after they met, sitting on the floor of his bedroom. They laughed with her feet in his lap, with a cheap-ass screw-top bottle of rosé beside them.

It was like an enchanting enigma how much they felt like each other's closest friends, like they had been part of each other's lives forever.

A Fleetwood Mac song was playing from Carlos's red vinyl record player when the woman spoke. "Isn't it crazy that I ended up at your house party and didn't even know who you were until you walked into this room?"

The two chuckled softly as their eyes locked and the driver's hand ran along the top of her thigh. "A bit maybe." He bit his bottom lip, a little unsure and nervous. Deciding to take risks that night, he continued. "But it was totally worth sneaking in here and skipping the party just to meet you."

Y/N could feel her cheeks heat up as they flushed. The girl tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear and looked away from him to the floor.

"I don't know about you," Carlos again captured the attention of the girl beside him, approaching her little by little. "But I don't think I've ever felt this chemistry with anyone in my entire life, hermosa."

Driven by her impulsiveness and by the tension that hung in the air, the young woman made the first move and closed the space between them, letting her lips rest on his in a much-desired kiss. 

It started out soft and slow, their hearts beating faster and faster as the adrenaline grew. Y/N let her mouth open a little, and the driver took that as a sign to let his tongue swirl in her mouth. Her hands found their place among the brown locks of his wild hair, as he pulled her body towards him until she was on top of him.

Y/N was never one for one-night stands or sex on the first date, but that moment felt different for her. None of it felt sudden, ill-considered, or a mistake.

In fact, Y/N had never felt like anything was so right as pulling the Spaniard onto his bed mattress that night.

And I chose you

The one I was dancing with

In New York, no shoes

Looked up at the sky and it was

For the next six months, Y/N and Carlos were inseparable.

Their feelings for each other continued to grow stronger and stronger with every passing day. However, the two kept them secret from each other, hidden in the privacy of their own minds.

During those magical months since the night they'd met, they'd given themselves to each other, body and soul. But they both knew there was something more between them: something impossible to ignore, something special.

So special that the two feared they would ruin it by putting a title on their relationship.

They were… Friends with benefits, lovers, soulmates? All options were honest and sincere, but they were only attempts to escape the term "boyfriend and girlfriend".

Painting New York City white, snowflakes fell from the skies while shimmering under the lights like jewels bestowed by winter.

The couple could already see their destination, such was the way the girl's maroon apartment building stood out among the snow-covered sidewalks.

Carlos hugged her waist from behind, squeezing the girl's body and picking her up off the ground.

"Carlos, stop! You're going to drop me, you idiot!" Y/N squealed playfully, being immediately put down again in front of her door.

The driver placed a tender kiss on her forehead and then adjusted the black beanie that covered the top of her head. "I would never let you fall, corazón."

Except I already fell for you, she thought to herself, making her heart ache.

The two hurriedly climbed the building's stairs, eager to return to the warmth of her home. They had barely passed the front door when the two started taking off their cold and damp shoes in search of some relief from the discomfort in their feet.

The Cigarettes After Sex album that they were listening to before leaving her living room continued to echo through the walls of the apartment. Immediately, Carlos grabbed her hand and pulled her towards him, wrapping her shoulders with his arms as he started to sway their connected bodies gently to the music.

"What are you doing?" Y/N asked, caught off guard by the driver's movements.

"What do you think I'm doing?" Carlos asked playfully, running his hand through the young woman's long hair. "I'm dancing with you to your favourite band."

Just when she thought it wasn't possible for her feelings to grow any further, Carlos seemed to challenge her, proving her wrong all over again. Her heart could explode at any second with how much love for the Spaniard she kept in it.

"Carlos?" She asked in a whisper.

"Yes, hermosa?" He replied in the same tone.

"I'm so glad I chose you."

In the end, what mattered to them was seizing the moment before it was over, being happy with each other before the inevitable end came.

Both Y/N and Carlos couldn't help sensing that they were doomed to end sooner or later.

The burgundy on my t-shirt

When you splashed your wine into me

And how the blood rushed into my cheeks

So scarlet, it was

Eventually, the first signs of the end of their honeymoon phase began to appear.

Their flaws seemed more noticeable, their patience thinner, and their problems more difficult to solve.

All of a sudden, the illusion that their relationship was perfect started to fade with time.

The two began to see themselves as opponents with their backs turned to each other instead of the hopelessly in love souls they were in the beginning.

On a random spring night, the two were getting ready for another one of their dates, in the privacy of his house, like they did so many times before.

The two naturally assumed their tasks without much dialogue at this point: Y/N was leaning over the stove as she finished cooking dinner for them, while Carlos was in the dining room setting the table.

After completing what he had to do, the driver went to the kitchen in search of a wine to serve with the pasta that his lover was preparing. He opened the pantry and took out his favourite red wine from one of the bottom shelves.

Carlos walked to one of the drawers, removing his corkscrew from it, and opened the bottle without knowing that Y/N was moving dangerously close to him. 

By accident, his sudden movement caused the bottle to splash onto the once-white t-shirt the young woman wore, now leaving a huge burgundy mark on it.

"Are you fucking serious?" Y/N complained, disgusted with the state of her outfit. "This t-shirt is new, Carlos. For fuck's sake, this stain is never coming off."

"Calm down, it's not like someone died. It's just a fucking t-shirt, Y/N." Carlos replied, in the same aggressive tone. "I'll buy you a new one. Don't let this night be ruined for something so small."

"You'll buy it?! You always think that your money solves everything, don't you?" The girl spat, starting her way to her room to change her clothes. "I just wish you would be careful for once in your life and not be so fucking clumsy."

"It's a piece of fabric, oh my God." Carlos followed her, not ready to give up. "Get over it!"

"You know what? Enjoy your dinner alone. I'm out of here."

And so their new routine began: they argued, they fucked, they made up, they repeated.

The rooms they'd once set on fire with their burning, sizzling passion were now left in ashes, burned by the flame that brought them back to each other's arms, time after time.

The mark they saw on my collarbone

The rust that grew between telephones

The lips I used to call home

So scarlet, it was maroon

Fight after fight, the two kept finding their way to each other every single time, like two individuals relapsing on their favourite addiction.

The young woman had been dragged by the Spaniard to another one of his races, though as a very discreet and unknown guest.

Nobody knew her in that world, not even his closest colleagues, and Y/N couldn't help but feel hurt by all of Carlos' secrecy.

Okay, they weren't together-together, but the fact that she wasn't even mentioned to his best friends still seemed like a red flag to her.

Y/N had managed to escape to his room without anyone noticing, coming face to face with the shirtless figure with his back to her.

"Hey, handsome." The girl approached him, placing her hands on his chest as she leaned against his naked back.

"Corazón, you are here." The driver turned towards her, placing a kiss on her lips and down along the side of her neck. "I missed you so much. These weeks without you have driven me crazy."

"Hmm... Were you missing me or having me?" Y/N questioned, trying to pretend to be unaffected by the way his mouth sucked on her collarbone so sensually.

The boy turned his eyes to her gaze and cupped her face gently in his hands. "You, hermosa. You."

Their moment was interrupted by a member of Ferrari knocking on the door, warning Carlos that he would have to prepare for the driver's parade. Both of them slipped from his room and the motorhome, coming across two other drivers she recognized from watching other races.

"Well, well, well," Lando announced, messing with Carlos and his mystery companion. "What do we have here? Sainz, you don't even introduce your 'friend' here to your boys"

"Pfff, friend." The Spaniard's teammate, Charles, replied, also joking. "At least her fresh hickey tells me otherwise."

The girl immediately looked down at the neckline of her shirt, where she noticed the love bite near her neck.

And when her gaze rested on her lover's annoyed face, she realized how unhappy he was that they got caught.

When the silence came

We were shaking, blind and hazy

How the hell did we lose sight of us again?

Sobbing with your head in your hands

Ain't that the way shit always ends?

"Since this muppet here doesn't want to introduce us, I'll do the honours. I'm Lando, this is Charles." The McLaren driver said, pointing to his Ferrari friend, followed by his outstretched hand towards the girl.

"Nice to meet you both, I'm Y/N." She greeted the British, and then the Monegasque.

"So why are you hiding your beautiful girlfriend from us, Sainz?" Charles asked curiously.

"She's not my girlfriend, I have to go." Carlos replied, turning away and leaving behind two shocked friends, a hurt girl and her heart broken into little pieces.

After hearing a thousand apologies from the two nice guys for meddling in matters that weren't theirs, Y/N decided to walk to the exit of the circuit and skip the race altogether.

Hours passed and only silence came to her hotel room, with no sign of Carlos.

The girl sat on the floor, back against the bed covered with a maroon duvet, shaking, blind and hazy, until he eventually appeared.

How the hell did we lose sight of us again, she thought to herself over and over again.

The driver entered the room, shoulders slumped in regret, expecting to find an upset Y/N he had to apologize to.

Never did he expect to find the girl he loved sobbing with her head in her hands.

Carlos knelt down in front of the young woman, placing his hands on her knees, which provoked her to look at him with eyes smudged with mascara.

"Sorry, hermosa." The boy apologized, letting his forehead rest against her knee.

"Sorry for what, Carlos?" Y/N asked, determined to get the truth out of him.

"I shouldn't have turned away and left you alone with Lando and Charles." The Spaniard confessed. "I understand that you didn't see the race, but it's done now, you don't need to be like that..."

"The discussion is over, yes." The girl spoke, getting up from the floor and looking at the image of him still kneeling. "But us, this, whatever it is, that is over too."

"Stop, Y/N!" The driver also got to his feet, trying to stop her from leaving. "This is just another argument. We always come back to each other, that's the way shit always ends."

The woman released her wrist from his hold, opened the door and glanced at him over her shoulder before walking away.

"Not this time."

You were standing hollow-eyed in the hallway

Carnations you had thought were roses, that's us

I feel you, no matter what

The rubies that I gave up

A day passed. Then two days. Three days.

On the fourth day, the doorbell to her New York apartment rang and her heart just knew that he was going to be the person behind the door.

Y/N opened the entrance to her house and there he was as expected: Carlos, standing there, hollow-eyed in the hallway, flowers in hand.

"Before you interrupt me, I beg you: please, listen to what I have to say. Then you can send me away if you want and I'll go." Carlos begged her, his hands gripping the red flowers more tightly. "I love you. I'm sorry I came to that conclusion so late but I do, I love you. So much my chest hurts whenever I'm not with you. And I know I've been an asshole to you, especially on this last race, and I know I don't deserve you but I'm not ready to give up on you, on us."

The young woman remained silent, listening to the words she'd been waiting to hear all these months.

But they were too late.

"These roses are for you, corazón. I know they are your favourite flowers." The driver held the flowers out to her.

"Carnations," Y/N replied, leaving the Spaniard more confused than ever. "These are carnations, not roses."

The two kept their eyes together until a tear ran down the girl's eyes. And both of them knew.

"I'm sorry, Carlos, but you should leave." Y/N sobbed. "I loved you all this time but I had enough."

And I lost you

The one I was dancing with

In New York, no shoes

Looked up at the sky and it was

Maroon

It took six months for them to end their perfect, magical honeymoon phase. 

Followed by another six months of endless fighting and pain inflicted on each other.

Perhaps in some poetic way, six months passed from Y/N losing him until they saw each other again.

Nothing hurt more than being away from the one person she loved more than anyone. Especially when she knew the passion and the love between them were still there.

She couldn't help feeling that they were two cursed souls destined to suffer for their love.

Without Carlos, even music seemed to sound different. 

Since the day she saw the boy walk out the door, her vinyl had remained exactly in the same place, gathering dust, as she didn't have the courage to listen to them again without being consumed by memories of them.

Trapped in her thoughts on yet another sleepless night, Y/N looked up at the sky and thought to herself: I can't die from a broken heart, but I can't help but feel like a part of me did that day.

The burgundy on my t-shirt

When you splashed your wine into me

And how the blood rushed into my cheeks

So scarlet, it was

Maroon

Tired of brooding over the excruciating time away from the driver, Y/N relented and agreed to leave the comfort of her home to go to a party for the first time in a long time.

Dressed to the nines, the girl found herself in a crowd in the middle of an unfamiliar house.

It was the same as always: old friends, new friends, gossip, rumours, laughter, shining lights, loud music.

The young woman simply couldn't enjoy that life as she did before. All she wanted was to go home, lay under the covers, with the fire burning on her fireplace... But the memories that place held of him began to feel like they were too much for her to bear.

Alcohol in her hand, as usual, Y/N escaped the noise to a random room in the house, much like the night she met Carlos. 

This time, the girl found herself in the middle of a guest room, with nothing more than a bed and some basic furniture, where she sat enjoying a sweet drink.

Mirroring that night even further, Y/N was stunned when the white bedroom door opened to let in the tanned, handsome boy who was consuming her head.

"Oh," Carlos said, unable to contain his feelings when he saw the woman again after so long. "Hey, I- I was just looking for the bathroom. I- I'm going to go."

"No, wait!" Unconsciously, Y/N stood up, grabbing the driver's wrist without giving it much thought until she felt the blood rush into her cheeks. "Sorry, I don't know what I'm doing. I just- I don't know... I miss you."

The Spaniard let her words sink in, all emotions on the surface. "Y/N... Please, don't do this. I don't know if I can survive another heartbreak."

"You're right, I'm sorry. Forget this ever happened." Y/N got ready to walk out the door until it was the boy's turn to grab her arm.

Carlos pulled her towards him, grabbing her face with both hands and pulling her into a so-desired kiss filled with longing, pain, and lust.

The mark they saw on my collarbone

The rust that grew between telephones

The lips I used to call home

So scarlet, it was maroon

His lips brushed hers, allowing him to inhale her breath and feel the warmth of her mouth, until he let his lips mash against hers in a rough, heated kiss.

She opened her mouth quickly, pushing her tongue past his teeth and meeting him in an electric and passionate battle. 

Both lay on the bed, her straddling his body like she did a million other times, her lips still glued to the ones she used to call home.

They both pull away, panting with their gazes focused on each other almost as if they were afraid the moment would suddenly be over.

"I still love you, hermosa." Carlos confessed, letting the words slip out. "There wasn't a day that I didn't think of you, or that I didn't want your body next to mine just like this."

For one more night, Y/N gave in to her most intimate desires and allowed herself to enjoy the feeling of belonging in the arms of the man she loved again, as she removed her dress and her lips returned to where they belonged - his.

And I wake with your memory over me

That's a real fucking legacy, legacy

And I wake with your memory over me

That's a real fucking legacy to leave

Such was the girl's amazement when hours later she woke up in the same bed, alone with only his memory over her.

The wrinkled sheets on the right side of the mattress were the only sign that the driver had been in that room the night before. 

Not a note, a discarded piece of clothing, a stray hair.

Just crumpled linens and the marks of his love smeared across her soft skin.

Once again, Y/N was left with only her regrets and her sorrows for being so weak and so naive to think this time would be different.

That was the legacy he left every time: his touch on her remained, as did his absence.

The burgundy on my t-shirt

When you splashed your wine into me

And how the blood rushed into my cheeks

So scarlet, it was maroon

Back at home, the girl went straight to her room, wanting nothing more than to get out of her dirty clothes from the night before. 

Her hands started their work of removing the dress, until she stopped in her tracks, naked in front of her bathroom mirror, when she saw the marks left by Carlos all over her for the first time.

She swallowed hard, trying to hold back the tears that threatened to fall, as she stepped into the shower.

The hot water ran through her hair, over her shoulders, and down her back, until loneliness overcame her and her eyes wept and wept away all the hurt she felt.

How could I have been stupid enough to fall again, she wondered.

After a few minutes of crying and showering, Y/N left the bathroom, towel wrapped around her body, and went to her dresser in search of an old t-shirt to wear.

Among the dozens of her neutral shirts, one stood out. It was scarlet, and it was his.

Without thinking twice, she grabbed the t-shirt and draped it over her body, ready to give in to the sadness. Her arms hugged her own torso, seeking physical comfort in a place where she was the only person left.

Or so she thought until she heard the familiar doorbell ring later that night.

The mark they saw on my collarbone

The rust that grew between telephones

The lips I used to call home

So scarlet, it was maroon

The only light on the dark street that night was the street light that lit up the star-crossed lovers ever so slightly.

There he was, standing outside of the door of her maroon building, red roses in hand this time, face pleading for forgiveness. 

Although their lives might not have fit together, they were just two broken souls who had found solace in each other's hearts, unwilling to give up on the greatest love they had ever known.

And just like that, pulled back into their vicious cycle, all she had consuming her mind was him all over again.

"Hey, corazón."

It was maroon

It was maroon

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thank you to everyone that asked to be tagged! please let me know if you want to be added to the next stories! 💌

[onyourowndaisymae]

Hi again!! Could I request some obey me hcs about Simeon's Fem!S/O preparing him a relaxing bath because she notices Simeon is stressed trying to adapt to the human life?? Not really like nsfw (I mean if you want...) but instead a cute scenario where they are just bathing together with candels and stuff? I tried to follow your rules as clear as possible, hope it's not too cringy,, have a great day!! 💌

running a bath for a stressed out simeon

thank you so much for the cute request! hopefully this did it justice. i adore writing tender relationship fluff and this was the perfect opportunity. the mc did turn out to be gender neutral, since it never really came up-- i hope that's okay! apologies as well for the odd formatting with the dialogue. apparently tumblr has a character block limit and counts all the bullet points together in one block, so i had to improvise.

content warnings: nudity, brief suggestive mentions but nothing nsfw

{established relationship, simeon x reader}

being a human is hard. nobody really gives you enough credit for surviving thus far. your human body is not built for the stress of the devildom, nor holding your own against demons, angels, and sorcerers alike. so of course you're stressed to find that your lovely partner simeon is now a fragile human like you.

even as a human, he has this angelic grace about him. he's all gentle smiles and kindness, soft looks of affection given in quiet moments. he's an angel to the core, even without his powers.

but you know him. you can see the subtle bags under his eyes, the way his shoulders droop just a little when you're alone. he brushes your concerns away with a smile, but you know. you always know.

as his partner, you've taken it upon yourself to pamper him. you cycle through a few ideas-- dinner, a nice date, a night at home-- and settle on something more low-stress, made specifically to melt the weariness from his muscles and the furrow from his brow: a warm, relaxing bath.

living with asmo has drilled the importance of a good bath into you. this man is always talking about his baths. he goes into heavy detail about the salts, the oils, the whole setup. you've heard it all. today, you're thanking him internally for all those lectures, because you're finally putting that knowledge to good use.

you're pretty proud of your work. the lights are off, unnecessary when the room is illuminated by a slew of pleasant-smelling candles. the bath is warm and full of salts and bubbles in preparation for simeon's arrival. upon asmo's suggestion, there's a few rose petals drifting across the surface of the water.

you wonder, quietly, if the rose petals were a little much. but you're not left alone long enough to dwell on it-- the sound of someone entering purgatory hall catches your attention. you peak around the corner and spot simeon putting his things away as he enters. he notices you there after a moment or so and smiles, warm and kind.

"hello there, dove. i didn't see you there. what are you doing here at this hour?"

you explain that solomon let you in, and that you've got a surprise waiting for him. you reach a hand out toward him and watch him smile, confused but content all the same, and cross the room to take your hand. you lead him to the bathroom and push the door open to reveal the bath you so lovingly prepared.

his eyes widen in surprise for a moment before a dopey grin splits his face. simeon doesn't hesitate to pull you into his chest and chuckle. what a nice surprise, mc. he gently coos something about how generous you are, but it's lost as he presses a kiss to the side of your head.

"what's all this for?"

you tell him that you've noticed how tired he's been lately. you leave out all the parts where you've worried yourself sick about how stressed out he must be. that'd defeat the whole purpose of a relaxing bath, now wouldn't it?

his sweet kisses are more than an adequate thank-you. after coaxing him out of your arms so he can, y'know, enjoy the bath you worked so hard to set up, he strips himself of the day's clothes and sinks into the warm water with a content sigh.

you smile and make some last-minute adjustments to the candles on the counter. then you tell him to enjoy as you make your way to the door and give him some space to relax.

his hand catches your arm the moment you grab the doorknob.

"wait, you're not staying?"

there's a mischievous glimmer in his eyes-- it reminds you simeon is not an angel. that borderline smirk is human, impish yet lovely all the same.

you ask if he wants you to stay. he looks away and sighs heavily (leave it to simeon to bring in the dramatics), then laments to no one in particular about how this bath is just so big and spacious and how he worries he might actually be too tired to wash himself. if only he had a doting partner around to help...

alright, alright. you get it.

you feel his eyes on you when you begin to peel off your clothes to join him. your eyes meet his. that's not very former-angel of you, simeon. he laughs and looks away with his hands up in defeat.

stripped and ready to bathe, you urge simeon to scoot forward. when he complies, you slip in to the bath behind him. your fingers gently graze his back, his shoulders, his neck, all the way until they find his hair. you don't neglect to notice the way he shivers in anticipation under your touch. but that's not the kind of bath you had in mind today-- you're more worried about making sure simeon finally gets some peace and quiet.

he thoroughly wets his hair as you lather up some shampoo in your hands. then they find his scalp, massaging in slow, gentle movements. he sighs, content, and you're almost certain his eyes are closed as he leans back into your touch. you're careful to treat every inch with the same amount of love. your nails work through his hair to make sure every strand is clean and soapy before you sit back and ask him to rinse.

the same process begins as you run conditioner-covered fingers through his soft brown locks. he's humming quietly now, his voice being the only sound joining your breathing and the sounds of water shifting around you in the tranquil air. every so often, one of his hands will linger on the surface of the water to play with a clump of bubbles. gone is the previous tension from his face, replaced now with an angelic serenity you're happy to see again.

finished, you let the conditioner set as you grab a wash cloth and some soap. a gentle tap tap on his back prompts him to sit back up. his shoulders are broad and proud-- for a moment, you imagine his wings emerging from between those toned shoulder blades. they'd definitely make a mess of everything you'd worked so hard to prepare. you smile fondly as your fingers rub across the muscles on his back.

it's been a strange adjustment to think of simeon not as an angel but a human now. there's no wings to spring forth, no blessing to use in times of crisis. he's human, like you. there's a sense of camaraderie there, for a brief moment, but you can't help but wonder how hard the transition must be for him. being a human is hard; being a well-adjusted human in the devildom is near impossible.

you press a kiss to the nape of his neck. he shivers, a loose giggle slipping up from his throat, and you begin to rub the area with a soapy rag. you repeat the same steps across other parts of his back-- each of his shoulders, the top of his spine, anywhere you can press a soft kiss against his flawless brown skin-- each stroke meant to cleanse him of his troubles.

he means the world to you. watching simeon struggle has been a unique sort of punishment. even with how well he hides the stress, you know his feelings about the matter must be just as tangled as yours.

you decide to let him in. your soapy arms wrap around his waist as you press a cheek to the flat of his back. then you tell him the truth: you've been worried about him. you've seen how stressed he is trying to adapt to his newfound humanity. the bath was your way of saying you care, of saying that you want to help him in any way you can.

he's quiet for a moment. then, he laughs.

if you could see his face, you'd see his watery eyes and the big grin on his face so tight and pleased that it's making his cheeks hurt. he doesn't quite know whether to laugh again or cry. he's touched. you care. you've once again slipped past any wall he's put up and noticed things he wouldn't even admit to himself. he's so lucky to have you, to be able to spend evenings like this with you, to have someone as caring as you take care of him.

his hands find your own, intertwining your fingers and he leans his head back on yours. yes, he admits, he's been a little stressed. simeon apologizes for making you worry and admits he never realized how stressful being a human actually was. nobody around here gives you enough credit for that. human bodies are fragile, y'know. never in his life has his back hurt so much, it's-- what's that? you're teasing him for being an old man? well he was flattered, but on second thought--

the once-serene bath is now lively with laughter and taunts. maybe you can't give him his wings back. but you've given him a blessing all the same: you. your smile, your kind words, your presence beside him day in and day out.

to him, that's the best gift he could've ever received.

[wannab-urs]

Appropriate Reactions

Summary: Ezra is stranded without a ship and has nothing to offer you in return for a ride off The Green... So you make a deal.

WC: 1.6k

Content/Warnings: Butt stuff :) oh and just like... warning for the way Ezra talks. Excessive use of lines from the movie.

I am excited to present the next installment of the Peg that Middle Aged Man Campaign 2023. My dear friends @atinylittlepain (who made the graphic!), @beskarandblasters, @serenaxpedro, @jksprincess10, @cutesyscreenname and I are all writing a series of pegging fics for you lovely freaks. And we all have at least one out already! We'll be posting a masterlist next week, but for now, you can find them under the tag #peg that middle aged man campaign 2023.

Thanks to @str84pedro for the edit/commentary <3

Ezra Masterlist | Main Masterlist | AO3 | Kofi

The Green is a terrifying place to mine for Aurelac, being one of the rougher and less regulated prospecting destinations. As such, you don’t make a habit of talking to strangers here. Get in, get the shit, get out. That’s how you’ve always done it. 

This time is different though. This time you found a man sitting on a log, helmet-covered head pressed into his hands. You tried to retreat quietly, hoping he wouldn’t notice you. It’s never a good idea to get caught out here alone. People got desperate. 

Before you could safely make it back into the cover of the forest, the man looked up and locked eyes with you. You pulled your thrower on him, taking several steps back. The man threw his hands in the air and said, “Easy there, stranger. I do not intend to cause you any harm.” 

He spoke with an odd cadence, some fringe-planet accent coloring his dialogue. It was oddly disarming, causing you to drop your weapon a tad. 

“And why would I believe you?” 

“I happen to be without a ship and therefore have no reason to dispossess you of your trophy case,” the man shot back, hands still above his head. 

This shocked you, as being without a ship on The Green pretty much guaranteed you were not long for this world. His air filter would give out sooner or later and the dust would choke him to death. You may be tough, maybe even cold, but you’re not evil. You couldn’t leave him there. 

You holstered your thrower and took a few steps toward the man. “I can give you a lift, but I won’t do it for free. What can you offer me?” 

The man had slowly lowered his hands to gesture at himself. “Your offer is indeed generous, and I would be more than happy to sign and seal save for one glaring slip… I have naught to my name but this suit and my body.”

You considered him for a moment. It was a little hard to get a good look under the bubble of his helmet, but from what you could see, he was handsome. He had dark hair and golden skin. A mustache framed his plush lips and a scruffy beard covered his jaw. His nose was prominent and curved, which you’ve always liked on a man. Fuck it, he’s hot. “Your body will do.”

He had shrugged and stood up, striding over to shake your hand. “Name’s Ezra.” 

On the walk back to your ship, you’d introduced yourself and asked for the story of how he came to be without a ship on this gods forsaken moon. It was a sorry tale and made you more than a little wary about his motivations, but he was so damn charming you couldn’t help but trust him. 

Now, sitting in the captain’s chair of your ship and taking in the sight of Ezra out of his suit, you’re glad you decided to trust him. The man is gorgeous, sitting sprawled out against the wall. He’s all broad shoulders and thick thighs wrapped in a black and tan flight suit. His close cropped hair has a little blonde patch at the front and his eyes are a deep chocolate brown. 

“Would I be too forward in asking how you intend to proceed, little bird?” Ezra drawls. 

“Not at all. How experienced are you, exactly?” You doubt very much that he’s a blushing virgin, based on looks and age alone. 

“I myself have frequently indulged, and I have not often found regret,” he throws a wink at you, the corner of his mouth quirking into a self-satisfied smirk. He knows he’s hot, damn him. But you intend to throw him for a loop. 

“I’m not sure you’ve indulged in this particular technique… If you want a ride on my ship, you’ll have to let me take you, pretty boy,” you stare him down, smugness settling into your features as you take in his shocked expression.

 “I… um. I have not had that particular pleasure… you do not appear to have an apparatus with which to accomplish the task at hand.” He gestures at you, clearly wondering if you’re hiding a dick under your flight suit. 

“I’m full of surprises.” You stand and make your way to a small wardrobe by your bed, digging around in your stash to find what you’re looking for. You shut the door, triumphantly holding your strap out for Ezra. 

The harness is made from a similar material to your flight suit. Already slotted into the ring is a long flesh colored phallus made from a soft but firm material mined on your home planet. 

“Now this is somethin’ I have never seen… in all my time in The Green.” Ezra looks fascinated by your contraption, not a hint of nervousness in his big brown eyes. 

“So what’ll it be, Ez? Deal or no deal?”  

---

Ezra is truly beautiful. His golden skin shimmers with sweat as you pump two fingers in and out of him, lightly stroking his pretty cock. He’s laid back on your bed, thighs spread to accommodate you, a pillow under his hips to grant you easier access. “Feel good, babe?” 

“Kinda nice… tingly,” Ezra chokes out, throwing his head back onto the bed dramatically. He’s extremely vocal, talking himself through the new sensation and whimpering when you curl your fingers into the sensitive spot inside him. 

You lower your head and gently suck the tip of his cock into your mouth, skimming your lips over the smooth skin and taking in the earthy taste of his precum. Ezra whines and jerks his hips, trying to push himself deeper in your mouth, but you follow the motion. You just know his begging will be glorious and you’re determined to draw it out of him. 

You dip your tongue into his slit at the same time you add a finger inside him. Ezra’s whole body goes taut for a moment, his head snapping up off the bed, before he relaxes into your touch. “You’re so responsive, Ez. Good boy.” 

“I greatly… appreciate the compliment… little bird.” Ezra grits through his teeth. “I would also greatly…” he breaks off with a moan as you press the pads of your fingers into his prostate again. “... appreciate getting… a move on.” 

You decide you’ve teased him enough for now, sitting back on your heels and slicking up your fake cock. You grip the backs of Ezra’s thighs and push his legs toward his chest, admiring the way he’s so pliant for you. You settle the tip against his hole and push in just a bit. “Good?”

“No harm done yet,” Ezra says breathlessly. You rub your hands up and down his thighs soothingly and push in slowly. Ezra sucks in a breath and blows it out quickly a few times and you giggle at him. 

“Ezra, sweetheart, you alright?” 

He shifts his hips, seating himself fully on your toy with a slightly pained groan. “You don’t have to be so gentle with me, little bird. I will not shatter.” 

You take this as your cue to fuck him stupid. You wonder if you can render him speechless. Leaning forward slightly and readjusting your grip on his thighs, you pull out of him and thrust back in to the hilt twice. 

“Slow… slow down a beat there, little bird.” Ezra’s hands flutter over his own chest and up into his hair, like he doesn’t know where to settle them. 

You slowly circle your hips, rubbing against the spot inside him you know will get him back on board. Ezra tugs at his own hair and babbles a string of praise at the sensation. “There ya go baby. I’m gonna make you feel good, okay?”

You lean forward, planting your hands on either side of his head and slot your thighs under his. You thrust slowly in and out of him, drawing a circle with your hips each time. His body chases your movements like he doesn’t want you to pull away at all, hands sliding up around your waist and pulling you into him. 

“Fuck, little bird, you are a miracle.” He gazes up at you in awe, as if you just told him you know where the Queen’s Lair is and you’re going to take him there. His lips part and his head digs into the sheets as he arches his hips up to you. You reach between your bodies, wrapping your fingers around his length and begin stroking him in time with your thrusts. 

“Are you going to come for me, pretty boy?” You whisper before sucking his earlobe into your mouth. He whimpers and arches further into your body, hips shifting to meet every thrust.

“Please! Don’t stop birdie, I’m near- nearing my rel- release.” You stifle a giggle at his phrasing and speed up your hand on his cock. You feel his body jerking beneath you and pull back to watch his face as he cums. 

His eyes are shut tight, brow pinched in the middle, and little moans and whimpers fall from his parted lips. You lean forward and suck his plush bottom lip between your teeth, grazing it lightly before kissing him fully. 

You feel the hot spurts of his cum cover your fingers as he breaks the kiss, throwing his head back and groaning deep and loud. His fingertips dig into the flesh of your back, pulling you down on top of him. 

He lays there, panting into your shoulder for a minute before he turns his head and whispers in your ear. 

“Actions like these foment the threat of appropriate reactions.”

----

[ploppythespaceship]

Doctor Who Series 14 / Season 1 Review

Man, it feels good to be enjoying Doctor Who again. I haven't been keeping up with the show in years, but I caught up to see Tennant's return leading into Ncuti's run and I am so glad I did. This season is far from perfect, but it gets a lot of little things right and is consistently fun to watch, even if a lot of the details fall apart.

What I Liked

Ncuti Gatwa is simply phenomenal. He settles into the role so quickly and so easily, bringing such a fresh energy to the character. I love how distinct he feels, too -- when you're playing the fifteenth iteration of a character, it can be hard to find a new spin on things, but he's done it. He's also a fantastic actor, getting to show an incredibly wide range in just a few short episodes. I truly think he'll be remembered as one of the best Doctors.

Millie Gibson is also very good as Ruby, and her dynamic with the Doctor is a lot of fun. I appreciate having another Doctor/companion relationship that isn't romantic. They're just best friends, and it's very cute.

The show looks great. It's very clear that they've had a budget increase -- the costumes, effects, etc. are noticeably improved since RTD's first run.

Murray Gold's return as the composer is extremely welcome. His stuff isn't quite as bombastic as before (or maybe the episodes just have better sound mixing), but keeps a lot of the same leitmotifs. The result is a more subtle score that perfectly suits each scene.

Mel is so cool now. She was one of my least favorite classic companions, so seeing her worked into these storylines and feel more compelling is an unexpected delight.

What I Didn't Like

Ultimately, I think the season is just too short. Council of Geeks has an excellent YouTube video on this -- because there are only eight episodes, and a lot of them are going for bigger ideas and weirder premises, it feels like we don't really settle into a status quo.

The Doctor and Ruby's relationship also isn't as developed as much as I would like. If you pay close attention to the dialogue, there's actually a six month gap between "Space Babies" and "The Devil's Chord" -- we could have used another episode or two in that time period to really flesh out the beginnings of their friendship better. Instead the show jumps straight to them being best friends, without really showing us why that is.

I don't think the mystery box format of this season really worked. The mysteries were built up to such an extent that no answer could really be satisfying, and the finale really almost entirely on the big reveals that ultimately didn't amount to much. Ruby in particular feels like an underbaked companion, and I hope she gets more time to get properly developed.

Individual Episode Thoughts

Space Babies — This is easily the weakest episode of the season. It's not bad by any means, but it does remind me of some of the sillier episodes of RTD's first run. It felt like we were speedrunning the companion introduction, when things could have been slowed down and spread across a few episodes to feel more natural. The baby VFX also do not work and fall very firmly into uncanny valley territory.

The Devil's Chord — This one makes very little sense, but is entirely saved by Jinkx Monsoon being so iconic as Maestro. If you just go along for the ride, it's a ton of fun.

Boom — This episode is proof that Steven Moffat truly is at his best when he's writing self-contained stories under someone else's guidance. I don't think it's as iconic as Moffat's previous stories, and I felt like Ncuti was getting a lot of dialogue that better suited Matt Smith, but the entire concept was interesting and the execution was solid. Also, Ncuti acted his ass off without even being able to move.

73 Yards — Honestly, I'm mixed on this one. The setup is fantastic and eerie, and I enjoy the exploration of Ruby's character, solo from the Doctor. I like her experiencing this inexplicable thing, and deciding to find purpose in it to help others. But the story does fall apart for me at the end when it doesn't explain anything. I don't need every single thing handed to me, I understand the value of leaving things to the imagination, but the fact that the episode's last impression is "wait what?" does leave a bit of a sour taste. That being said, I do respect how weird and different this episode is, and how much discussion it prompted afterward.

Dot and Bubble — The trailers looked like a Black Mirror ripoff, and I was prepared for a shallow "social media bad" episode. Instead, we got something far more nuanced about the dangers of trapping yourself in a bubble of like-minded people and refusing to ever look beyond it. And the ending reveal that it's a society of white supremacists is so, so well-handled, because all the clues were there for you. If you're like me and didn't piece it together until the very end, it really challenges you to ask yourself why you didn't notice sooner. Also, another episode where Ncuti acts his ass off. My personal favorite episode of the season.

Rogue — Another with mixed feelings. Rogue himself is tons of fun, and I enjoy his dynamic with the Doctor, even if parts of it are pretty rushed. I really hope he comes back. The episode plot itself is serviceable but nothing special. My main complaint is the severe lack of Ruby. Her relationship with the Doctor doesn't feel sufficiently established, so the emotional beats don't really land.

The Legend of Ruby Sunday — This was an underwhelming finale, unfortunately. The first part barely even qualifies as an episode. It launches right into starting to answer the season's mysteries, but does so in an uncompelling and heavy-handed way. The Sutekh reveal is pretty epic in isolation, but...

Empire of Death — The Sutekh reveal doesn't really lead to anything satisfying. He doesn't have the presence of Toymaker or Maestro, he's just a CGI dog monster. This second part finally answers some questions, some of which are vaguely interesting, but it's happening in a plot so dull and so dry that I just can't bring myself to care. The episode is also just confusing? The plot points don't seem to flow naturally together, like multiple stories were smashed together with little rhyme or reason. The resolution is some of the most nonsensical nonsense that Doctor Who has ever come up with. Then we get to the reveal of Ruby's mother, which is so forced and it becomes clear in retrospect that things were added to seem more mysterious than they really were. And capping it all off is the Doctor's farewell to Ruby, which falls flat because, as I've said, their relationship is rather undercooked. It really does end the season on a downer, which is a shame because so many of the preceding episodes were pretty good.

[toyouhellohowareyou]

Here's your ⭐

Director's cut!

Okay, so I pestered Dark to pick a fic and we're going with

Mandatory Puppy Pile

So let's get to it.

So Depletion was the first fic of @somer-writes I can remember reading. Halfway through reading I started leaving dumbass comments and getting dumbass replies.

Depletion is about the Chain being so damn hurt and exhausted and filthy they're all ready to strangle each other. Twilight, in his sleep deprived state, drags everyone together while they're sleeping despite the fact some of them very much want to not be around anyone else right now, and waking up to find you've been moved is a bit not good.

The Gang Discuss ✨Consent✨

The non-consensual puppy pile joke was born somewhere in the comments there, and eventually I had enough material to do something with it, it was also a couple of weeks after Somer's birthday and Skip (hi Skip!) had gotten us on a server together by this point. The fic summary is almost word for word the first thing I said about it in the chat.

This thing went through a lot of names, the original was Non-Consensual Puppy Pile, but it was also 'enforced', and 'compulsory' in various versions. Title change to avoid misunderstanding lol.

This one's kinda hard to breakdown because it's comedy lol. This is the funniest thing I've got published for sure. It's my second most popular by most metrics after Moon Pearls.

Okay!

The reason I did most things is "because I thought it'd be funny"

Fake out intro? 'cause I thought it'd be funny.

Four's the main narrator as I needed someone who was going to observe without getting involved in things too much and I was comfortable writing him.

Wars is the main secondary because somer ships 'em lol.

I mostly plotted this cackling to myself in my car during my commute.

The boys are jetlaggedddddddd. I couldn't use the word 'jetlag' but that's what it was.

Sky is sleeping because it's in character and cuts down the number of characters. Similar to Time faking it, the man cannot be fucked with this. He is eepy, let him rest.

Wars thinks being boring when it’s perfectly acceptable to be losing your shit is what makes you an adult. He's not entirely wrong though.

Legend tries to escape by playing fetch. There's a 'Legend tries to make fetch happen' tag no one has ever commented on but I like it.

“LEGEND TURNED INTO A RABBIT!” wails Wind.

Legend looks at himself, looks at them, runs some calculation in his head, then joins in the wailing, “TWILIGHT CAN TURN PEOPLE INTO RABBITS!” Legend immediately throwing Twi under a bus to protect his secret. The gang now believe Twilight can turn people into rabbits. This is never questioned.

Twi refusing to stop staring at Wars as he tries to take a leak and everyone giggling about it. I have no excuse.

TWILIGHT POV This was fun and is most people's fav bit. He's a good boy mmmk? He's a good provider. He loves them so much. This was the original premise. He's such a dumbass, I love you wolfbrain Twi.

He leaps on it, sinking his teeth into the back of its neck. His teeth are so bad at this today! He picks up a rock and hits it many times. So noisy! But it works! I love this line okay? The mental image, he tried to chew through the back of it's neck then bludgeoned the poor thing to death when that didn't work. The boar is screaming, the children are screaming, the tone is so casual and simplistic. lol

The puppies scream in delight.

“TWILIGHT, WHAT THE FUCK?!”

They are not eating? Ah. They are too little. He needs to break it up for them. He grabs a leg and wrenches it.

“GODDESS’ MERCY AT LEAST LET ME USE A KNIFE, TWILIGHT!”

More delighted screaming.

This is most people's favourite bit including mine. Twi brain says one thing, dialogue says another lol.

Smallest puppy takes it delicately, “Thanks, Twi. Good boy.” Four just runs with it

Four is secret MVP in a lot of my stuff including this because he has The Braincell and a bit of chill. In love the boys being friends and bouncing off each other and knowing each other. Them plotting revenge against each other constantly is part of this.

Again it's Wars with Twi for the shippin'.

Wind's “This group is a nightmare, I haaaaaaate you!” Is another Depletion joke, but it was about Legend in that.

How to end it? We go full circle, Twi wakes up and is told not to let any of them leave by Sky who missed all the drama and the reason why.

He loves them so much ❤️

[yellowocaballero]

re: utopia, one thing that i personally find funny is that a popular CN gacha game (damning words when it comes to taking me seriously, i know) just had an arc where the antagonist was a guy following Order that wanted to put everyone into a collective hallucination where everything would be perfect (obv without the opportunity to grow as a person Ever, but well, at least everyone is Satisfied), and him being a jesus figure that would suffer for everyone's sins and be aware of the dream/control it. (man i wonder if they had a naruto rerun while writing penacony)

i really liked it, but i did not anticipate that i'd get two cakes due to my favourite writer tackling similar themes (well they do be as old as time)!!!!1!!!1 and i think that you're really good at getting your point across — you once said that writing a fic is kinda like a dialogue with yourself to you, if i'm not mistaken —, and i always have to clear my glasses after reading your works because they get covered in dried little tear dots from my eyelashes, and what im saying is that im excited to do so again. it sounds stupid. thank you for sharing your work, im incredibly excited to see you unravel the narrative knot into heartstrings. yellowocaballero going to ascend to moirahood on national tv in 2035, keep your eyes peeled, everyone!

anyway sorry for blabbering so much i hope this didn't come across as comparing (though you'd be better obviously) i just crack up every time i think that you got around to writing naruto fic when that arc dropped. the timing is great. prophets of the new age receiving a beam of light telling us about personal growth and lifted jesus allegations. if i ever see you writing fic for honkai star rail or genshin or whatever it's going to be both too soon and the greatest thing i've ever read in that fandom. stay funny (not an obligation or a threat, you can be unfunny if you want, but i don't think the universe prepared for that opportunity. it'd flop into itself like a wet tissue)

Oh, literally I downloaded Star Rail because I was interested in some of the stuff I heard about it. Played it a little and never picked it back up again. I should, I'm just awful about phone games! Not ADHD enough. Maybe I can watch a playthrough...?

I love nice life parallelism. I do think the themes of "the bad guy wants everyone to be happy" is inherently kind of interesting, because it inherently raises a lot of questions - why is he a bad guy, if he wants to be good? What about his plan makes him a bad guy instead of a good guy? What delineates a bad and good guy, anyway? How did this guy get so turned around that he thought badness was good? If handled well, it's inherently a rich character. If badly, then it's just kind of nonsensical and goes against its own messaging.

The "well, the bad guy is right, but since he kills people about it that invalidates his own point" approach is always boring and conformist, but it can be surprisingly hard to shake. I don't think Obito, Madara, and the Ame 3 are 'bad guys who are right morally but with bad methods' - I think they're good people who are so deformed by their world that a hugely destructive evil scheme is the closest they know how to come to goodness. By that logic, Obito had to be written as...deformed. Very much so. But that was what made him so interesting to explore. How do you un-deform that? Is that even possible? When we put him on the good guy team, is he genuinely a good guy who overcame his warped nature, or is he just a warped person doing good guy things? FWIW, I think a big difference between the HSR character and Obito is that what Obito can't partake of this Eden because he thinks of himself as somebody who's far too late to save (also, isn't God/Jesus all about Free Will?)(Calvinists DNI).

I don't think this story gets too sad...it's just too nuts...but, of course, you have to feel sorry for Obito. He wants to change the system that ruined him, but as the evil created by that system he still can't fully see the very important thing that he's missing. We've seen him shy away from the thought already - if only a perfect world can create good people, how the hell do you explain Naruto? As the reader, we want him to be helped. We continue reading in the hope that he will be helped. Thanks for the ask, I really should find some way to consume HSR.

[maddys-nerd-blog]

7, 10 and 21 for the WIP ask!!

HELLO 👋🏻

7– My favorite scene? Oooooo I think it’s the conversation between Danny and Leo where they’re having their heart to heart. The dialogue is some of the more emotional stuff I’ve worked on, so I’ll give you a sample!

Sour memories of his own childhood came to mind. Without thinking he spoke to break the silence. “I don’t have a good relationship with my Father either.”

Leo sniffled, the chair and his ropes creaking from a slight shift in movement as he attempted to look at the yōkai. “Y-you don’t…?”

“Nah.” Danny shook his head. “My father and I never had a stable relationship when I was your age. Ma passed when I turned twelve and it broke something in him. Told me I looked too much like her t’ ever speak t’ me. I didn’t wanna go into th’ family business, so he resented me for it. I always had bad role models growing up— I wanted t’ be like Clyde Barrow. I wanted t’ be rich and live a life where I had control of myself, be what I wanted. Truth be told I used t’ dream about bein’ a performer, one of those Fred Alastair types. My father never understood. Said I was delusional. Especially when I told him I was getting hired by Big Mama,” he scoffed under his breath, a light smirk playing at his lips with mirth. “He just about blew a gasket. Told me I was an embarrassment, I wasn’t th’ son he raised, I was better off dead than working for th’ competition. He told me ‘If yer gonna make this family look bad, ya ain’t welcome home.’ So… I left. And I never looked back.”

Leo, having grown silent to let Danny finish his story, sniffled as he piped up, “How old were you?”

“Seventeen.”

“… how long has it been since you saw him?”

“In person? Thirty-six years.”

Danny could almost feel the empathetic eyes of the slider peering over his shoulder. He didn’t need to look at Leo’s face to know that he was stunned. “I’m so sorry…”

“Isn’t a big deal t’ me.” Danny reassured. “I knew it was coming so I wasn’t too upset.” A somber chuckle escaped from him over the thought. “It made me laugh afterwards.”

“But…” Leo’s arms twisted around, trying to move, wanting to better look the man in the eye. “Did you ever regret it?”

He shook his head. “I kinda knew when I left that he wouldn’t give a damn once I was gone. He never made th’ effort t’ phone me or look for me. It was a part of myself I had to let go of if I wanted t’ move on. There were times where I thought I could give him a call, but… then I’d get cold feet.” Danny sighed, long and hard, giving a small shake of his head to clear the resentment. “I found a better family in all of you, anyway.”

“I probably ain’t th’ best person t’ take advise from, but I know one thing.” Danny looked back at the kid, trying to offer a kind smile. “Yer stronger than yer dad if he don’t see how important ya are t’ yer brothers.” When Danny didn’t get a reply straight away, he continued. “Ya wanna know something? When I met Kat, she would talk ‘bout how proud she was of her boys. She would tell me everything about th’ kids she was looking after. How brave and adventurous they were, how they kept fighting even when th’ odds were stacked against them, how they saved her from herself.”

“… she really talked about us that much…?”

“‘Course!” Danny twisted himself around as best he could manage, the ropes biting and pulling stubbornly into his arms from the motions. “You guys are th’ center of her world! It’s nothing but high praise! I could write up an entire novel’s worth of compliments she gives you. Ya might not realize it but yer mom loves all of you so, so much. If ya asked her for a thousand bucks she’d bring you diamonds. Ya ask her for a house, she’d buy you a castle. I bet if she could, she’d hang th’ moon and stars for you. All she wants is t’ make you happy.” The yōkai grinned, recalling the pride in Katie’s smile when she told him about the kids, about their achievements and their accomplishments. If there was any mother in the world that could be more proud of her children, she’d be the living example.

Leo giggled, a small sob stifled behind it. He swallowed, hesitating, gathering himself to properly breathe. “I-I didn’t think… I didn’t know we mattered this much to her.”

“You kidding?” Danny couldn’t help the incredulous tone in his voice. “I won’t be surprised if she breaks th’ doors down t’ this place t’ get you back. If there’s one thing we both know ‘bout Katie, it’s that she’ll stop at nothing t’ bring ya home. She’s gonna be here soon.”

10– “Fine,” Katie reluctantly agreed. “There should be a pharmacy two blocks down from here. Just… please be careful.”

With one of his signature sly smirks Danny leaned forward, planting a kiss on the corner of her mouth. “I’ll be in and out.”

21– This time I’ll choose these!