#Ezra fanfiction

[beefrobeefcal]

Oh, bless you, Prinny!

I know this one was a wild ride, but hopefully Birdie is on the upswing now! I hope you were able to get some work done this afternoon

💜🥩💜

I Keep My Visons to Myself feat. Frankie & f!reader, Ezra & f!reader

Summary: Ezra makes a hard choice and Frankie isn't the right choice. Part 6 of There are Other Fish in the Sea

Pairing: Frankie, Ezra & Mouse | Rating: Explicit 18+ (MDNI) | Word Count: 4,856

Content Warnings: SMUTTY SMUTTY SMUT SMUT, angry sex, emotional damage, feelings, disturbing nightmares, heart broken ezra, frankie is a big time dummy, sadness, p in the v sex, oral (f receiving), freak nasty floor sex, hair pulling, brief mention of weight gain, poor decision making

Author's Notes: you're welcome to send you fuckboi frankie hate mail to my inbox 💌🥩💜 this chapter hurt me more than it hurt you

Thank you to @bitchesuntitled, @strang3lov3 & @noxturnalnymph for brainstorming this with me and for their eyes and love. apologies to @covetyou in advance

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His fingers moved along your bare skin softly, gently trying to lure you out of sleep. The haze that you tried to move through to wake up lingered and made his touch all the more dreamlike. You heard his soft chuckle as his lips dragged on your shoulder with lazy kisses and his facial hair gently brushed your skin. His body was pressed warmly against your back, cocooning you. 

For a moment, it was peaceful.

But his hold on you tightened, the soft chuckle turned sour into a deep, cruel laugh, and his voice boomed: 

Don’t you EVER walk away from me when I am talking to you!

His heavy, weighted body moved, pressing you further into terror and you tried to scream for help, for Frankie to let you go, for anything, but you’d open your mouth and nothing would come out. You were helpless under him, silently screaming and unable to do anything as you stared up into Frankie’s black eyes. 

Just fucking listen to me!

You heard another voice, layering on top of Frankie’s, beckoning you out of this nightmare…

A nightmare.

“Just listen to me, Little Bird… Birdie, honey… listen to me– Just fucking listen to me!… you’re dreaming, baby… listen to my voice… wake up - Don’t you EVER walk away from me when I am talking to you!”

The scream you couldn’t release came hurling out of you as your eyes opened and Ezra soothed his hand over your hair, hushing you.

*****

The nightmares were more frequent. Sometimes it was Will dragging you out of your home and Benny refusing to look. Other nights, it was Frankie suffocating you in bed. Once, it was Ezra and his eyes turned black and he grotesquely morphed into Frankie and you couldn’t run fast enough. 

No matter what happened, each one ended the same - you could not scream and you could not escape.

If you were in bed with Ezra, he would sometimes wake you or you would wake up with a jolt in a cold sweat, tears running down your temples and cheeks and you would curl yourself into him as he slept,  not knowing the terror that haunted your dreams. 

You did manage to scare the shit out of Benny as the scream that heralded the end of your nightmare came heaving out of you pulled him from his own sleep and he came running into your room with a tennis racket. 

They were getting worse. 

*****

“...and I can’t get away. I keep hearing his voice, telling me to not walk away when he’s talking to me - like I could escape.”, you said quietly to your therapist, Maggie, without looking up at her.

Maggie nodded, making a note in her book. “And these nightmares started after that interaction you had with Will?”

You paused. Yes, you had blamed that as the catalyst, but there were no nightmares before that and given the nature of them… but what else changed?

“I don’t know…”, you pondered glumly. “The only other thing was - uh, Ez-Ezra and I were… we kinda…”

“You were intimate?”

Your nod in response turned into a shrug. “I guess? We didn’t have sex yet, but he- or we kinda fooled around.”

You kept your eyes low, picking at the errant threads on your pant leg. You swore you could feel Maggie’s eyes on you, waiting for more information. But when you looked up, Maggie was looking at her notepad as she scribbled down in it. 

There was a nagging something at the back of your mind, making your stomach tighten and your throat itch. Why did you assume Maggie was judging you? Why couldn’t you just say “Ezra fingered me on his couch.”? You’d gone into great detail about your food-fueled sex life with Frankie with no shame at all. Why were you shy now? Why did you feel guilty? 

Fuck. That’s what this was - it was guilt. Fucking guilt. But over what?

“I can hear the hamster running on the wheel… what are you thinking about?”

“Guilt.”, you muse. “I feel guilt.”

“And what brought that on?”

“I think it’s what’s…making me have nightmares. I feel guilty - like I didn’t - like I’m letting everyone down and-.”

Maggie nodded, silently encouraging you to keep going.

“I’m- I don’t know why but I have to say this: Ezra fing-”, you caught yourself and took a breath before continuing. “-fingered me on his couch after I read part of Watership Down out loud.”

Maggie’s eyes locked with yours, her face well trained at offering no hint at the potential judgment you assumed was behind it. 

“Watership Down?”

“Yeah. Th-the kids book about rab-”

“Rabbits. The one with the rabbits in the-”

“Yes. Yeah.”

You stared at one another - her face expressionless minus the slightly raised eyebrow while you looked like you had just admitted to being a massive pervert with a rabbit fetish.

“And that makes you feel guilty?”

“No, not about  the rabbits. I mean, I guess it’s weird but it was kinda romant-”

“I was talking about being intimate with Ezra. Do you feel guilty about being intimate with someone other than Frankie?”

You stopped and swallowed, then shrugged. You looked down at that thread you’d coaxed out of the seam of your pant leg, and picked at it again.

“Does Ezra know how you feel?”

*****

Mouse - he loves you and you’re killing him!!

Will had you by the wrists, dragging you into your old home, now twisted and dark, and too big to be real. The front door looked to be an opening to a bottomless pit that he was going to throw you down, and you tried to fight, but your limbs were like lead. No scream came from your mouth no matter how much you tried.

You can’t turn your back on your family!

You felt Will’s arms move around you and you tried pushing him back only to jerk awake to Ezra grunting from your elbow you jabbed him in the rib with. 

Horrified, you turned over and reached out to him, hands shaking. “Oh god, Ezra! I’m sorry!”

He nodded and moved closer to you in the bed, hushing you and trying to get you to lay back down. 

“I’m all right, Birdie… come on now, back to sleep, baby.”, he yawned out. 

*****

Ezra had been working late for private events that week. You’d barely seen him beyond a quick kiss and hello as you popped into the bistro, managing to catch him between drink orders around the side of the bar. It wasn’t a good time to talk.

When you finally had a moment to have him all to yourself, you didn’t want to waste it on discussing your feelings. You already felt like you dumped on him enough and you didn’t want to have him thinking he was your donkey, only good for helping you carry your burdensome feelings. So you swallowed them down, making note that you would eventually have to tell him why you weren’t ready to move forward. That night, he didn’t push for anything beyond kissing and seemed happy but exhausted. It wasn’t a good time to talk.

Waking in the night to another nightmare that he groggily soothed you through, you had it on the tip of your tongue to blurt it out. But one look at his moonlit form starting to doze off again had you think better of it. It wasn’t a good time to talk.

You’d find excuses to make any chance you had not a good time to talk, and it was wearing on you, along with the bite-size chunks of sleep you were getting. You were easily irritated and Benny found that it was almost easier to not talk to you unless he really needed to and you watched his body language change as he braced himself. It sucked.

Ezra, ever patient Ezra, was becoming less so. In your drive to hold back and not make him your emotional dumpster, you’d put up an invisible barrier that only allowed him to watch as you folded into yourself further. While you were so focused on holding back, you didn’t see how it was affecting him, and your nightmares, as intrusive as they were for you, woke him, too, and to make it worse, you wouldn’t tell him what they were about. He wanted to help, but your walls were getting thicker and harder for him to see anything but the snake you had become, eating its own tail. 

It all came to a head one evening. Benny was out with his friends and you and Ezra were idly watching something on the TV. His hand gently touched your knee, and he sighed.

“Anything you need to get off your chest, Little Bird?”

“Hmm?”, you turn and look at him.

His soft, brown eyes were narrowed slightly, directing an intense gaze right into you. It was the same look he gave the unruly and drunk patrons as he gave them a final chance to leave before he escorted them out. It was a serious and firm look that left no room for you to negotiate and spoke more than the question he posed to you.

You had to look away. You felt like a scolded child. “Ezra - ”

“Talk to me.” He reached out to cup your cheek, guiding you to look at him, but you pulled away from his touch.

“Just… no. Stop.” Your words were hushed and biting, hissing out of you while shaking your head.

That seemed to be a trigger for him and his breath came out harshly as he sat back, away from you. You finally brought your eyes up to him, and you saw anger born out of defeat. 

“What do you want from me? To sit and watch you wither up after you’ve culled all the gentility in you? I - “

“Just- Ezra!” You weren’t ready. You’d worked to keep everything hidden from him and everyone else and, god dammit, you were not ready. You blurted out, “That’s not fair!”

“Not fair?”, his eyes go wide in disbelief and he seems for a moment at a loss for words. But he sat up straighter and his tone raised. “No. No you don’t get to tell me this is not fair!”

You couldn’t handle this. You’d told yourself that you would dictate when the time was right and not when it wasn’t under your control. You felt cornered by Ezra, threatened by his demand for an answer and you were spiraling. 

He reached out again, face softening with concern. “Please, talk to me, baby.”

“I don’t owe you shit!”, you snapped, standing up. “There is nothing wrong and nothing to talk about!”

Ezra stood up, slowly, his hands out to try and calm you, but still using that firm, even-keeled voice. “Please, Birdie, don’t lie to me. I can see whatever it is wearing you down - let me in. Let me help!”

You felt like the walls were closing in on you and you didn’t know how to fix this. Tears welled up in your eyes and your chin quivered, but your anger won out and you shook your head with a devastated scowl and yelled, “There is NOTHING wearing me down!!”

His mouth skewed into a frown and he took a deep breath as he shook his head back at you, his hands on his hips as he watched you melt down in front of him. 

“I want so much to be -”, he sighed before raising his voice and stepping towards you, “God dammit, Birdie! I am right here! I do not want you to fall and I am ready to catch you but you have to talk to me! Don’t you dare say there is nothing wearing you down! I hear you crying in your sleep, calling out names and begging them to stop!! I want to stop them!! I want to silence them for you and -” He stopped, his mouth open and lips moving like he’s run out of words to say to try and convince you that he wants only what’s best for you. His eyes were wide and pleading, and his arms dropped to his side. 

When you said nothing in return, he blinked back the tears and nodded. Ezra’s eyes looked away from yours and he stepped back, his voice cracking slightly as he sniffled. “Little Bird, I would have waited. I would have held your hand and waited if you had just let me in…”

You had found the edge of Ezra’s gentle patience and you pushed him too far. The thought swallowed you whole as he receded, the few feet between you feeling like a lifetime now. 

“Ezra…”, you whispered in a broken, quiet sob.

He stepped up to you and held your face as he leaned in and kissed your forehead. 

“I want so badly to be yours.”, he whimpered quietly against your forehead. “Please, Little Bird… please come find me when you are ready.”

And with that, he left. 

*****

Your hubris didn’t allow you to reach out to Ezra and the following few weeks were hell. The nightmares were there and more intense and Benny kept his distance from you even more so. You canceled your following therapy session, not ready to actually face the mess you’d made in being unable to open up, and you felt like you were running out of options. 

It was a quiet evening and you felt restless. Benny was home but was watching a game on the tv, and given how godawful you’d been lately, interrupting him to talk seemed like a stupid idea, but you needed an outlet. You needed to feel something that wasn’t crushing. 

You did the one thing you never thought yourself capable of.

Grabbing your keys, you didn’t bother telling Benny where you were going and you drove the well traveled route you knew like the back of your hand. The moment you parked at the curb you already knew you couldn’t stop yourself even if you tried. 

Your old home didn’t look like it did in your dreams. It was just a house, filled with the memories you’d made with - 

You felt like you weren’t in control when you moved up the walkway and up to the door. Your fist banged on it like you needed to get in at that moment and you heard Frankie calling out that he was coming.

The door opened and you started right up into Frankie’s face, and for the first time in a long time, you felt like your mind stopped racing. You both just stood there for a moment, not moving. You finally broke the silence.

“Frankie,” you breathed out. “C-can I come in?”

He nodded and stepped aside, opening the door wider for you.

Kicking off your shoes, you looked around and saw that he’d moved and replaced some of the furniture and decor, but it smelled the same. 

“You w- you want anything to drink?” His voice came out unsure, almost like you weren’t really there and if he did too much, you’d disappear.

You shook your head “I just want to talk.”

***** You and Frankie had exchanged pleasantries as you commented on the house and the changes he’d made and he noted your hair and how he liked what you did with it. The small smile on his face as he said it stung your already frayed heart. 

“I came here because I need to… to talk to you.”

His brows furrowed as concern grew on his face. “I thought you were with some-”

“No.” you interrupted with a head shake, not looking up at him. “Not anymore.”

He nodded and moved closer to you on the couch and sat forward, forearms to his thighs, and tilted his head to try and see your face. When your eyes met his, he smiled. “Talk to me.”

“I need to say firstly, I’m really proud of you for getting sober, Frankie.” You sat up and looked directly at him. “Really. I mean it.”

His cheeks flushed slightly, tingeing the tips of his ears pink, and his smile grew as he nodded. “Thanks, baby.”

You knew he knew how to distract you from having a tough conversation and you shouldn’t have come here and you definitely shouldn’t be sitting this close to him and letting him call you baby, but maybe you needed a distraction; was it so wrong to just let yourself feel good? When his hand came up to your face, you didn’t pull away, taking comfort in something so familiar. 

“Mouse, baby…”, he whispered, leaning in. You didn’t do what you should have and got out of there. No, instead you let him kiss you and worse, when he pulled his head back, you grabbed him and kissed him harder. His mouth opened and his tongue sought entrance and when you granted it, his hands gripped your waist and pulled you onto his lap.

The warmth that had evaded you for so long came rushing back as Frankie took charge, just like before. Even if your rational mind was screaming at you to get away from him, your body responded like it was starved for his touch alone. 

His hand slipped between you, lifting your shirt and touching your skin, making you suck in a harsh breath. Gripping your waist, he rocked his hips up into yours and you felt his hard cock press against you. When you parted, his eyes were heavily lidded and his mouth slightly cocked in a grin.

“So fuckin’ pretty, baby…”, he whispered, then his tongue darted out, just barely wetting his lower lip. “You gonna let me show you how sorry I am, princess?”

Princess. That name, the name he reserved only for you in private but used publicly on that other woman on social media. 

“Frankie.” It came out quiet, but firm.

He nodded, licking his lips again, face softening into a gentle, warm smile. “I know, baby… too soon.”

He leaned forward and coaxed you into another soft kiss. “Too soon…” Frankie kissed you again. “Lemme show you how sorry I am, baby…”

Your body became pliant to him again, and again, he deepened the kiss and moved under you, sitting up then moving to the floor as he held you against him. He laid you back and he pulled your shirt off, then laved open mouth kisses on your neck.

“So fuckin’ sorry, baby…”, he cooed lowly, gripping your hips as he buried his face between your bra-clad tits, inhaling deeply. 

Your fingers ran through his hair as one of his thick arms lifted your bottom off the floor and the other big hand moved to your waistband and pulled down, yanking them off you completely. His eyes were dark and hungry as he pushed your thighs wide apart, and he groaned, staring down at your exposed pussy. 

“There she is… fuck, Mouse. Pretty as a fuckin’ picture.”

He wasted no time and leaned down to get his face in you, but your foot came up to his shoulder and stopped him. 

“Little Bird.”

Your eyes were filled with a warning and your tone was quiet yet firm.

Frankie froze, with a confused smile on his face, and he huffed out, “Wh-Mouse, what?”

“Don’t call me Mouse. Little Bird or Birdie.”

His smile fell and he stared at you, as if he were unsure how to proceed. It was like he was trying to figure out how to maneuver through this and you were not just giving in.

“But… okay… sure, Mou-Birdie”, he said, astonished, nodding. His face softened again and he purred, “Baby Birdie… come on, lemme say sorry…”

His hand came up to your foot fixed against his collar bone and he turned and placed a kiss on your ankle before gently bringing it down. He lowered himself again, this time a little more apprehensively, making sure you weren’t going to stop him again. 

“Missed you and her-”, he growled lowly, his eyes dartking down to the crux of your thighs then back up at you, “-so fuckin’ much”

He lowered his face further and inhaled. “God dammit, baby… smell so g-”

“Better than Natalie?”

Before you could stop, your sick, twisted sense of need for validation took over, forcing out the words from your mouth. 

Frankie groaned. “Nothing… nothing and no one compares to you…” He pressed his face into your cunt and licked up from your taint to your clit. 

You gasped his name, arching your back and rolling your hips, and one hand fisted his hair. His nose nudged your sensitive nub and his tongue licked and prodded your hole, all the while he groaned and grunted between laps. 

His hand came down on your stomach, pressing your spine flush with the floor, in a bid to try and gain the upper hand again, and his other moved to intertwine his fingers with the one not in his hair. 

No. That’s not what this is.

Your hand pulled away and moved to your breast, kneading it as he watched you; your eyes were either closed or looking at the ceiling as you laid back -  he couldn’t tell. He wanted so much for this to be the cast that healed the fracture…

“Mo-Birdie… baby…”, he huskily murmured, wanting, no, needing you to look at him.

Sitting up on your elbows, his wide eyes looked up, still blown out and dark but pleading. 

“Baby girl… come on… I’m trying to show you how sorry I am.” His voice was deep and low, and his words purred out. Frankie adjusted his face and kept his eyes on you as he pushed two fingers into you without warning and sucked on your clit. Your breathing hitched followed by a sigh as your lips parted. Every time his fingers pushed in, they hit that spot that he had memorized and dreamed about and refused to forget the sounds you made when he hit it. He needed you to fall apart, he needed you to see how sorry he was and see that he was the only man who could make you feel this good.

The whining moans that careened from your throat were pure music to him, and he sucked a little harder and purposely slowed down and emphasized each pump of his fingers a little harder. 

“Fr-yes… yes, right th- don’t stop… please Frankie, don’t stop!”

He hummed and pressed his hips into the carpet, trying to get some relief in his jeans for his throbbing cock. Your walls were fluttering and your hand was yanking his hair, pulling his face harder into your core; against his hand weighing down your middle, your hips rocked, fighting against him. 

Your vision started to fill with stars and just as you felt your release getting closer, he pulled back, eyes glaring at you. In your ecstasy, you’d called out the first name on your lips - and it wasn’t Frankie’s.

“You serious??”, he snarled as his large hand gripped your hip and yanked you towards him. “Ezra?! Are you fuckin’ kidding me??”

Your eyes were slightly glazed over and you stared up at him, the realization of what you’d said came to you and you wanted to laugh right in Frankie’s face. It was a slip but one that you thought was fitting, given how you ended up here and the way he was looking at you. But then the thought of Ezra flooded your mind, making your face fall sadly. 

Frankie misread your facial expression as one of remorse to him and his eyes softened, and he leaned forward and kissed you, muttering, “Suppose I deserved that…”, against your mouth. 

You kissed him back, needing respite from the melancholy the thought of Ezra was bringing down upon you, and one hand pulled him closer around the back of his neck while the other moved to his belt. The feeling of his soft middle made your cunt throb, pushing - momentarily - Ezra out of your mind. Frankie was heavier than when you’d broken up, and one thing that never changed was how his weight set you on fire. As you deftly unbuttoned his jeans with one hand, you gave yourself permission to enjoy his body before you set yourself on the path for atonement.

One of his hands came to help you push down his jeans and boxers, and his hard, angry cock sprang out. Your fingers gripped him, feeling his hot girth in your hand again, and god, it felt so good jerking him a few times. He grunted into your mouth and his weight pushed you back onto the floor, your mouths still attached, and he held his body over yours on one forearm above your shoulder. His other hand lined up his cock to your entrance and he hitched your leg up onto his hip. 

The slow, arduous pace at which he pushed in was both euphoric and maddening, like he was trying to punish you. But the familiar stretch blanked your mind and his mouth parted from yours, brows tented and he huffed out,  “God dammit! Baby… you’re so fuckin’- so tight… Been too long…”

It had been too long. Prior to this, the last time you had a dick in you was at least a month or so before you broke up; it was coming up on a year since then. No matter how angry you were with Frankie, there wasn’t a single hunk of silicone that could compare to his manhood - that you found anyway.

He seated himself deeply in you and you felt like you couldn’t take a full breath in. Your parted lips let out small gasps, puffing out against his mouth. He barely pulled out before he pushed back in, eliciting a gasping whine from you. His eyes trailed over your face taking in every twitch, flick, minute shift… 

He could feel every flutter of your canal, and it felt like home. All the love he’d been holding and letting fester and rot him from the inside out seemed to lessen as he watched you. 

“I’m so sorry, baby…”, he murmured, nudging his nose against yours, his hips finding a soft, deep rhythm.

You needed more. You needed hard. In this moment, you knew this wasn’t a reconnecting, this was a severing. 

“Frankie please-”, you breathily whined out, opening your eyes and looking right up at him. “Fuck, just fuck me!”

He watched you, feeling you squirm and writhe underneath him, and when your eyes met his, all he could think about is how you called out another man’s name when you came to him. He scowled, sitting up and pulling out. He gripped you hard and flipped you over like you were nothing, then grabbed your hips as he lined himself up again. 

“Fuck you, Mouse!”, he snarled angrily as he impaled you. 

“Fuck you, Frankie!”, you panted as he brutally slammed his cock into you over and over. “Fuck you!”

He let out a growl and grabbed your hair, yanking your head back and pulling your body flush with him. The hold he had you in was bordering on painful, but it was scratching that itch you hadn’t been able to reach in who knows how long. 

You needed a hatefuck. 

His hot breath came out in growls and bled over the side of your face and neck, and you could feel another orgasm building in you. 

“Yes! Yes, I’m- fuck, Frankie -”

He cut you off, jerking you in his hold as his hips slammed into you, and he snarled, “SHUT UP!”

You came, crying out and Frankie bit down on the crux of your shoulder and neck, growling and grunting as he fucked you though your orgasm. 

“Fuck you, Mouse!”

You cried out, trying to form the words to tell him that was not your name, but he shoved you back down to the floor, hand gripping your hair, and he would not let his brutal pace up. With every slam of his hips, he swore, cursed you, apologized…

“Fuck you - I am sorry! I-fuck!... fuck, fuck, fuck!”

It didn’t take much more to push you over the edge again and this time, Frankie fell with you, letting out a hiss followed by a groan as he filled you. Your arms gave out and Frankie laid his weight on top of you, both panting.

You laid like this on the living room floor for who knows how long, the only sound being the occasional car outside and your breathing. It was Frankie who spoke first, his voice far softer and sadder than you anticipated.

“Mouse, baby-”

“Birdie.”

You felt him sigh and he moved off you, helping you up and off the floor. You put your panties and leggings back on, feeling him ooze out of you. Once you were dressed, you looked up at him. 

“I think I finally got you out of my system.”

He didn’t argue or try to make you stay as you left. He just watched with a resigned sadness. 

That night you had no nightmares.

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[chronically-ghosted]

vivarium

rating: explicit 18+ pairing: ezra x f!reader word count: 8K summary: you request a vacation for your birthday. With the rain and a few drinks, you get a lot more than you asked for.  warnings: alcohol drinking, minor age gap (less than 10 years), oral (f!receiving), fingering, smut, possessive!Ezra, dom!Ezra, one booty smack, dirty talk for real, smut, pining, a bit of angst, referenced/implied orphanhood, made a religious sex pun and i'm so proud of myself a/n: so @morallyinept requested this and it turns out when I write for a boy for the first time, it can’t be less than 7K – whoops. i've gotten ezra requests from some moots before, so i hope this lives up to your expectations! **massive thanks to @toomanytookas for editing and providing the initial validation so i don't post in a mouth-frothy haze. I've never had a beta like you before and I genuinely feel like I've turned over a new chapter in my fic writing. thank you!

🤍Masterlist 🤍 Ezra Masterlist 🤍 AO3 Link

💜come see what else we've done to celebrate 1K followers

Your feet in the clear blue water, the humidity like a wet tongue on your skin, you scratch a nail under the tab of a mustard yellow can, crack it open, and drink. The bite of alcohol dulled by the carbonation, you take several pulls, drawing out the mid-afternoon buzz from two other cans and whetting your mouth in the heat of the jungle day. You lean back on your elbows into the sponge-soft grass, and let out a massive sigh. 

A few feet ahead of you, on a repurposed inflatable reentry tube, your long-time privateer partner chuckles, the sound deep in the back of his throat as he floats by. Thick fingers and exposed heels dragging along in the crystal water, he greets the yellow sun like an old friend – arms wide, chest out, a lazy smile on his face. A damp rag – supposedly clean – sits over what you know to be dark-earth eyes, every other inch of him relishing in the inevitable sun tan. 

“I see your aaahhh, pet, and I raise you a mhmm.” The rubber squeaks as he adjusts, tips his scarred chin up to the cloudless sky and rests his head back. “Kevva said there’d be days like this, but I think the old hag mighta left out a thing or two.” 

You grin, the wet heat of Banu 8’s lowlands drawing sweat droplets onto your hairline at the back of your neck, settling thick behind your ears where it co-mingles with the drunk haze loping around in your brain. You watch Ezra with his bare arms, hairy legs, and prominent nose turned towards the divinity he’s so fond of invoking and the thought crosses your mind – again:

Shit, he’s so fucking hot. 

Oh, bad thought.

You drop your gaze, pressing the cold aluminum lip of the can to your mouth, drinking quicker than you probably should, anything to distract you from your partner as he obliviously floats by. 

For our sake, you silently beg the hungry little creature that whines and snaps at the image of a shirtless Ezra, please fuck off. 

While Ezra whistles a vaguely familiar tune, terribly off-key, you scoop up the cool lagoon water and dribble it over your hot knees, then your thighs, dampening the rims of your make-shift shorts just enough to cool them without leaving them vulnerable to a permanent state of moisture due to the high humidity. You flick the last drops of the water onto your chest, your white cotton bra choked to your skin. A final effect, you press the cool can to the thrumming pulse on your neck, closing your eyes with a relieved grunt, taking the time to enjoy the sensation of the cold metal against the rapid beat in your throat. 

From the water, you hear an unsettled grunt and you open your eyes to find that same shirtless Ezra staring at you, the rag now curled in one hand against the rubber float. He swallows, looks at something past your ear, and again tries to adjust in the sticky rubber float without flipping himself over, his hands falling into his lap. 

“Neptune, dear, would you do us the favor of tossing over one of those cans? I’m parched. I think my lovely skin is drying out.”

Neptune. His favorite nickname for you. You never got any real explanation from him as to why you got that name, other than after you’d officially joined his crew, you told him you came from a blue planet in a far off system. But that was often the way of things: Ezra did something and you didn’t question why. From that simple truth, you learned about how to repair and rebuild the entire electrical system from a drop pod. You learned, in excruciating detail, the parts and mechanics of a thrower, so much so that you could almost identify the model number at a glance. You learned about which corporate dig sites to avoid, which made for easy marks, and which would draw the eye and ire of entities hardly worth the trouble. 

Being out on your own since you aged up out of the orphanage had not gone the way you hoped and life had not been so kind as to teach you any other way to survive. Ezra had found you in the back of a red spice market, cornered and slurping down the last few of your credits from a muck bowl that you had vastly overpaid for.

For whatever reason, he offered you a job on the spot, despite you having nothing to offer him. and no experience in anything except cleaning prophylaxiams and staying out of the way.

And yet, he has been far kinder than life, or anyone else, had ever been to you. 

As a result, loyalty was only a fraction of what you felt for him. What had begun as overwhelming adoration had grown hot to the touch, slippery between your fingers at night, and perhaps – what you feared most of all – obvious. 

Yet when Ezra looked at you with a smile on his face, it was only comradery he wished to share with you, certainly not his bed. He shared it with practically every other bi-pedal humanoid you came across, but not you. And this you had to accept. And you did. 

But being a little drunk made it that much harder to remember where to keep your hands to avoid being burned.

“Sure, Ez.” You tuck your legs out from the cool water and dig around in the canvas bag at the base of the white nut tree. Most of the ice had melted into the bright green grass around the lagoon, but a few of the cans were still cold. You’d probably tease Ezra later for skimping on the insulation bucket the provisions store the port offered, but he had been so eager to get to the camp ground after spending an “exceedingly exorbitant amount of time stacked up against human drivel on public transportation”. One lopsided grin, and you’d give him the world. 

“Ez–,”

He lifts the rag, glancing at you over his shoulder, hands cupped as the can flies through the air. The cold metal presses against the overheated skin on his chest and he hisses. Eyeing the can ruefully, he cracks it open and drinks deep. You busy yourself with sliding to the edge of the pool again to keep from watching his throat move. 

Ezra finally pulls back, smacking his lips, with a pleased groan. He wets the rag again and dramatically flops it over his eyes. Hidden from his view, you watch the roll of water down his temples, his neck, his chest. 

“Name anything better than this, Neptune, I beg you. Free from obligation or assignment on commission. Where my only moral imperative is to drink as many of these as I can and remind you how beautiful you are. Which . . .” he tilts the bottom of the can towards you, head still tilted back on the raft and dripping rag covering his vision, “fantastic, by the way.” 

Having stifled your blush while under his watchful gaze about three or four other times today, without him looking, you flush so hard and fast you go lightheaded. Beautiful, he said. You drink more carbonated alcohol to choke back your rising heart, your eyes skim over the curve of his nose, a drop of sweat as it peaks on his forehead. You can’t linger over him too long; he has a six-sense about you – unable to know what you’re thinking but that you’re overthinking all the same. 

“Was this worth the trip on public transportation, Ez?” Your ankles stir the water again. 

“I could do this all day,” he sighs contently, bringing a warm smile to your face. “And definitely all night.”

Maybe you’ll both be so sun-drunk later tonight, you’ll fall asleep together on the pallet on the floor. Of course, by nightfall, someone will have to come to their senses and you’ll be tucked back into your separate sleeping bags, but maybe, as a present you couldn’t possibly ask for, you can just nap together.

With the bottom plush of your lip stuck between your teeth, you rim the metallic edge of your can with your nail, ankles spinning slow circles in the water. 

“Thank you, Ezra,” you say quietly, “for the best birthday I’ve ever had.” 

It began as a sort of joke one night on the volcanic hotspring moon of Wulkan after a twelve hour shift hunting through the black ash in search of fire pearls. The job was rather rushed, and Ezra had his reservations going into it, but fire pearls were a near certainty and you both needed a boost after a jump exchange had gone a little cockeyed. Sweat dripping from his temples, the provided water packs in the harvest suits doing just enough to keep him from passing out from heat exhaustion, he extended the skein of hydro-electric towards you across the narrow lane between your cots and asked you if you could be anywhere right now, any system, where would you be.

“Somewhere so cold I freeze my tits clean off,” you said with a sigh and wiped your own sweat-drenched forehead. You could smell yourself after two days of sweating profusely, but your stench in comparison to the rest of the crew, including Ezra, barely registered any more. You took a sip as Ezra laughed.

“A grievous crime against humanity and all its luscious gifts, but I get your meaning. Anywhere else?”

“Water.” This was said with more conviction, so much so it turned Ezra’s head towards you. “The few memories I have of my home planet and my parents, we were always near or in water. An ocean, maybe. I’m not sure. But I remember being really, really happy and I think being near water . . . it would make me happy again.”

You handed the skein back to Ezra, something unreadable in his gaze. He took it back from you, his fingers dark from the ash that clings to everything. On the other side of the tent, the rest of your crew and other teams mill about, yelling, with cutlery clattering as the camp gets ready to slow for the night, a graveyard shift picking up in just a few hours. 

Ezra’s eyes are as dark as the ash you’ve been shifting through the past two days.

“Then you shall have it, Neptune.” He said, quietly. “I’d give you the fucking galaxy if I could.” 

Those words often came to you in the crevice between sleep and wakefulness, when your mind was idle and the reins that tightly bound your affection for him loosened without a conscious grip. When you thought you weren’t being watched. 

The flat of his foot hooking behind your ankle breaks you from your reverie. Cast into shadow by the wide, rubbery palm leaves above your head, he looks at you curiously. 

“That look of deep consternation is giving me a headache. Spill.” 

With a faint smile, you gently bump his knee with your own. “Nothing, Ez. I’m just glad we get to take a break from it all. I can’t remember the last time I . . . the last time we’ve just had nothing to do.” 

He cocks his head as his gaze crawls up your ankle, your shin, to your knee. You think it might linger on your thigh before it bounces to your face. You tighten your grip on the hot, expansive feeling behind your ribs and stare back at him.

“Then that’s a black mark against me, as the leader of this clan.” His mouth curls, eyebrow arching as he talks, knowing that statement has been a point of playful contention between you two for years. “A good overseer knows when to crack the bullwhip and when to let it rest.”

“Well, a better overseer knows when to demand that her team rests, because sometimes they have no idea what’s good for them.” 

His foot rotates behind your ankle, his toes brushing against your calf, bringing your attention to your own body part in the water. Your legs are hairy, nearly as much as Ezra’s, and you haven’t shaved your pits in possibly a decade. Ezra once brought home a professional nightwalker, one from the Upper City, to the derelict flat you’d been sharing for two weeks as you offloaded your haul to the under markets. You never forgot how smooth her skin had been, shaved clean and smelling of moon lilies. That scent permeated the small space for weeks afterward. Even now, just the sight of moon lilies makes you nauseous. 

His aversion to you runs much deeper than physical aesthetics, even if you can’t help but wonder sometimes if becoming as smooth and hairless as the nightwalker might change his mind.

“Observational to a fault as always, Neptune.” The ball of his foot rests briefly between your legs before he pushes off from the spongy lip of the lagoon’s edge. He floats back into the sun, his head shaking slightly, a smile drained of amusement on his lips. He inhales as the sun crests over his forehead and he glances up at the blue sky. “I have no idea what’s good for me.”

Something about his tone, the way he turns away from you, scratches a very raw place inside of you – a place that fears and obsesses over abandonment. You wouldn’t survive it if he abandoned you, if he left you to fend for yourself one day. Logically, you know he would never do that – he has sworn up and down to your face that that notion is fundamentally ludicrous to him – but the anguish of him silently rejecting you from his bed again and again and again makes that fragile place inside you bleed red. 

You stand up, swipe another can from the bag, and move towards the waterfall. 

“I’m taking a hike.”

You feel his eyes on the backs of your thighs as you march towards the gentle incline.

“Be safe, Neptune,” he calls softly.

For a fleeting second, you wish he had made you stay.

The first fat raindrop splashes against your cheek and wakes you from a humid, irritated nap. You’re scowling by the time you open your eyes to several more wet droplets as they splatter against your neck, your forehead and you sit up, even more frustrated than when you fell asleep. The last sticky tendrils of dreams snap and pop as you pull yourself onto your feet, back hunched and arm held high against the steamy sprinkle. A crack of lightning, then a growl of thunder, and the sky splits open, drenching you in seconds. With a snarl of your own, you snatch up the empty can from the grass next to you and make for your camp down the hill. As you crest the top, you see a figure standing outside the tent, back tense and hand raised as if searching through the twilight gray downpour. 

Normally, the thought of warming up beside Ezra in your yellow tent fills you with something inexplicable, the grime and load of the day melting from your shoulders, but your buzz from earlier has thickened, made worse by the heat, the emotions in your heart all gummed up and smashed together. The sight of him cranks up your irritation high in your ears. With a huff, you concentrate on a smooth slide down the hill without breaking your ankles and not the fire rising in your gut. 

But the rain and the distance apart has only stoked his own outrage.

“Where the hell were you?” He snaps as you yank back the velcroed tent flap. He is dripping from head to toe in jungle rain as he follows closely behind you into your small space. You ring the water from your hair into a corner and scowl up at him. 

“I fell asleep. The rain woke me up. I came back as soon as I could.” 

His eyes narrow, water rolling off his bare shoulders as if he still stood out in the downpour. The droplets pat pat pat against the tarp floor as he snatches up a fiber towel and dries himself off, scowling all the while. 

“I searched for you, calling your name up and down this fuckin’ jungle and I didn’t hear a peep. What if something had gone wrong? What if you’d been hurt?”

“Then I would have fucking dealt with it, Ezra.” You stomp to your feet, neck hot from his patronizing gaze. Hands on his hips, you feel like you’re being scolded. “I can take care of myself.” 

One dark eyebrow arches mockingly, the scar on his cheek twisting in his scowl.

“And you expect me to lay about, twiddling my thumbs, while I wait for you to return or until you deem it appropriate for me to fret over your corpse?” 

That patch of blonde hair is a shade darker, drenched and pressed flat against his forehead. His bare chest is littered with scars and divots where chunks of flesh had been torn away. His skin is a reflection of the hard life he lives. You doubt you’d look any different if you’d seen yourself in a mirror. 

“We are partners, Ez,” you grind out between locked teeth. “Equals, alright? I am not your little sister for you to fuss over and you are not my keeper.” 

At that, the indignant swell of his chest deflates and the anger in his eyes flickers before fading out. 

“You are beyond capture,” he mutters, eyebrows down but gaze distant. “I’d never dream of keeping you, Neptune.” 

Again, it’s his phrasing that hurts most of all. You glance away, the backs of your eyes growing hot and tight, drying out despite the sticky moisture warming the inside of the tent. But then his hand around your elbow startles away the tears forming in the corners of your eyes. 

“You are the most important thing to me in the entirety of this world and the next,” he says softly, earth eyes searching your face. “I came on too strong, I know that, but the idea that you’d ever be gone from my side for any amount of permanence . . . well, it’s been a lifetime since I’ve felt fear like that.” 

His frown goes belly-up, a hopeless smile on his face. “I wasn’t aware I even still could.” His calloused thumb brushes your skin, skin that nearly catches fire from the rough drag of scar tissue, before he lets his hand drop. Your own curls into a fist at your side, a tremor rattling the bones of your wrist in an effort to keep from reaching up and touching that moon-shaped scar you dream about at night.

“I’m not going anywhere, Ez. You taught me enough to survive in a world like this. But you’re going to have to trust me.”

That smile goes wan, sickly. “That’s the problem, dear heart, I trust you with my life.” 

He swallows, as if suddenly bashful to make direct eye contact with you. He clears his throat before rummaging around in his canvas bag for dry clothes. He yanks a black, sleeveless shirt on over his head before setting up the materials for a flameless pocket fire. 

“Since my dreams of showing you something called a barbeque have been quite literally rained out, we’ll finish off the rest of the dredge pack tonight. But come first light, I’ll fix you breakfast so succulent, the smell alone’ll make your mouth water. How does that sound, Neptune?”

He barely slows to breathe as he seamlessly switches topics from breakfast to another meal made at camp without looking up or stalling in his prep for dinner, hands almost disconnected from the humming of his mouth – one so methodical, the other like a channel rat on fire. 

“– and the thing was no one was really sure enough what a squatter egg looked like when it goes bad. But being out in a cramped hold-out for two weeks where it was so dark, your own ass and someone else’s had no demarcation, well, there wasn’t a single peep of dissimilitude . . .”

Words strung together so quick and so melodic, it was always incredibly easy to fall into a sort of easy trance around Ezra. Sounds and syllables just sounded right coming out of his mouth and after a while, that trance became a state of repose, Ezra’s own sense of calm filtered to whoever was also in the room. But not to you, not right now.

After spending immeasurable time with less than half a space between you in cramped tents and in claustrophobic dig sites, you could read the tension on the lines of his body as well as the lines on the palm of your hand. 

“Neptune? You with me?”

Ezra glances up at you, always aware of you and your movements like the twinge on a spider’s web, a signature smile that has always seemed to shine a bit brighter for you plastered over his face. The anger was the only thing holding you up and with it gone, you can feel your bruised heart twinge as it folds over itself. 

“Yeah, that sounds good. I’m gonna switch out of these wet clothes before we eat, okay?”

He hums, nodding, eyes fixating on the steadily boiling water in front of him as you turn away to the other side of the tent, by your pallet and traveler’s pack. As further evidence that he feels nothing but companionship for you, you feel his eyes remain nowhere near you as you strip off your shorts and bra for a sun-warm suit. Then again, you’d like to think it’s kind of scandalous to be changing in front of him, but you’d both seen each other naked more times than you could count – there is no modesty in foxholes. The space between your hips and your thighs feel sticky from sweat and the slick rain, the curve of your spine warm and flushed. The zipper is loud in the silence. 

You’re braiding your damp hair away from your face when he sighs and the noise makes you look back at him.

“Answer me honestly, if you’ve ever cared for me a tick. Do you regret it?”

His eyes are sorrowful, worried, brow fixed down. Ezra is not, and never has been, a man prone to melancholy. His wrists rest loosely over his knees, gaze deep in the bubbling bone broth. The rain outside taps insistently at the tarp. 

“Regret what?” 

“Coming with me and taking on this life. It’s not an easy one,” he says quietly. “I should have offered you another choice, that day in the market. But one look at you and I . . . I was willing to trust you with my life, Neptune – far, far too soon. Even at my best, you make me irrational.”

You watch him, his broad shoulders moving, as he scoops up the hot, dark liquid into two bowls, and joins you by the entrance to the tent. You pin back the flap as he settles, the scent of humid rain immediately flooding your mouth, the pattering sound now twice as loud. Wordlessly, he hands you a spoon before digging into his own bowl. 

The heat of the soup burns away all the silly, impossible things sitting on your tongue. You sit in silence, his presence never rushing you to answer before you are ready. As you eat, you stare out at the dark lagoon, where you had both been only hours ago, the clear water murky beneath the downpour. 

“No, Ezra, I don’t regret it.” He stills, as if surprised you’re answering him now, mid-meal. He lowers the bowl to his lap, eyes trained on you. “You saved my life, more times than I can count.” 

Your words loosen the rigid lock of his shoulders. He grins. “As you’ve said, you would have been just fine without me.”

Your vision goes blurry. You pin him with such a stare, you watch the blood rush from his face.

“But it would have been only half a life.”

“Don’t kid about that, Neptune, it’s not –,”

“I’m serious.” You put your bowl down and rub your eyes with your sleeves. Of all the ways he hasd seen you bare and naked, he’s never seen you this vulnerable. “I don’t wanna do any of this without you. I want you, Ezra.”

“You have me, dear heart, you have me.”

“Not like that and you know it.” You watch as understanding rolls across his face. His lips part, eyes wider. He swallows and you stare at the ceiling, cheeks suddenly wet and hot. He said he’d never leave you, but what if this is the thing that finally does it? Could he work with you, knowing just how deeply you love him, and not feel an ounce of disgust? “You told me once sex is just a way to pass the time, but never, not once, have you ever even tried to pass the time with me.” 

He swallows, deeper this time, jaw locked, his eyes fluttering with the force of it. He brings his knees to his chest.

“Because it wouldn’t just be passing time with you.” 

In that moment, you’re grateful for the rain, for the sound of something to fill the silence. 

You stare at him, cross-legged in front of the open corner of this yellow tent, abandoned bowls growing colder, but he sits with his leg up, knee to his chest, as if to ward you off. Ward off whatever is growing in your gaze, under the flat bone over your heart in your chest. But whatever is stifling the air in your lungs, is warming his eyes past the point of comfort, barrelling towards expletives and the crass, the lewd and depraved. You cannot go back to having him look at you any other way. 

That look loosens every line in his face when you crawl into his lap, your knees around his hips. The backs of your thighs go damp, even through the suit, pressing down onto his still-damp shorts, and you think his breathing has quickened.

His massive palm hovers near your cheek, unwilling or unable to pull you forward or push you back, his oak eyes searching your face for signs of discomfort as if he had somehow dragged you across the tarp floor. 

“Neptune,” he mumbles as he focuses on the curve of your bottom lip, “this is unwise. You don’t know what you’re asking for.” 

You can feel the hard curve of his shoulders as you follow the lines of his arms and settle them on his collarbone. Nothing has happened that can’t be undone – not yet. Your perfect, vicious Ezra hasn’t pressed you flat on your back like you thought he would at the hint of sex. You could return with your dignity tomorrow morning, this moment never spoken of again, and he’d let you have that. The shake of his elbow with his palm against the tarp is the only indication that something might be unsettling to him. 

But it is your birthday after all. Maybe he’d let you have this one thing. He doesn’t know you’ll die without it.

“If you don’t want this . . . if you don’t want m-me, then say something. Push me away and I’ll never bring it up again.” You cup the sides of his neck as your hips shift forward, closer to him. The air in your lungs tightens, breath coming in shallow pants. Only then does he drop your gaze and fixate on your encroaching heat. “At least then I’ll know.” 

There. Out loud. It’s been said, heard above the deluge of rain against the tent and the jungle outside. 

His palm finally settles on your cheek. It brings a sense of wholeness to you like you’ve never known. Your eyes flutter shut at the sensation, a breathy exhale pours out of your mouth. His thumb catches the plush curve of your bottom lip and he draws it towards your chin, his own mouth open, enraptured. 

“Sweet thing, how have you not always known?” 

His mouth is humid against yours, as if he swallowed the jungle while looking for you, his thumb releasing your lip to capture with his own. The tip of his pointer finger massages the hinge of your jaw, just below your ear, and he manipulates your head until your mouth parts like he wants.

His tongue skims your upper lip, a tentative exploration into the unknown rewarded with a low groan that is warmed by the heat coiling low in your hips. You taste his tongue, a hot glide inside your mouth, and you feel his arms slip around your lower back, his inhale of breath sharp across your face as he brings you closer. He bites your lips roughly, the spark of pain and pleasure crackling across your face as if you’d brushed a live wire. 

His fingers wrap around your wrist, prying you from the back of his neck, just for a moment, his eyes heat-soaked. You suck your teeth, mouth open and seeking, and the hand around your jaw drops to your collarbone, the breadth of his palm nearly suffocating your throat.

The briefest pressure – the slightest touch – at the pulse at the bottom of your neck and your hips rock forward into him as he flattens his other palm to your ass, clutching you to him and pinning you to the pallet.

His teeth scrape against the curve of your ear, pinching the cartilage between his incisors, while his hands frantically search up and down your waist. His weight smothers you, his stomach breathing into yours, the flat plane of his chest rubbing your nipples raw against your suit, an unfocused lurch to his hips every time you tug on his hair. With every breath, every time you try to savor his touch, the taste of his mouth is like a wave, dragging you forward, wrapping a dizzy chain around your throat and squeezing.

Ezra’s greatest weapon has always been his mouth, that silver string spinning faster the longer he captivates you, spell-bound. Now he uses to decimate you in entirely new ways. 

The suck of his lips against the moist flesh below your ear distantly distracts from the afterburn of his unkempt beard against your jaw, your cheek. His lips alternate patterns of reward with a plush kiss and punishment with a stern nip when you try and stifle a moan. The edge of his shirt is damp from resting against his shorts when you slip your fingers underneath to palm the small of his back. He stills when you run your fingers around to the front of his trunks. 

His hand curls around a clump of hair at the base of your skull, his eyes darker than volcanic ash. The steady heat of his groin against your thigh is a sensation you’ll chase for the rest of your life.

“You know what happens when you touch a man there, Neptune?” He’s breathing hard, you both are, and the way he snags your hair in his fist has your head twisted at an odd angle, but you’d be damned to a Kevva-forgotten corner of the cosmos before you drop his gaze. You nod and that moon-shaped scar on his cheek twitches. “I know I didn’t teach you that.”

“L-learned it – somewhere else – Ezra.” Your mouth isn’t working properly, your lips swollen from his kisses, the slight pain in your scalp making it difficult to focus, while your cunt tightens hungrily. “Had to.”

“Yeah? Why’s that?”

“Because you wouldn’t give it to me.” 

He leans back, his forearm tense and corded where he has you by the hair, a seemingly disinterested scowl on his face. But by the throbbing length pressed up against you, so far from where you need him the most, he is anything but. 

“So you’re saying this is my fault?” Without breaking eye contact, his chest raised inches above yours, his fingers snag on the blue zipper by your collar and your breathing nearly stops. He hums to himself, eyes following the path of the zipper as the material separates, click by click by click. When it reaches your belly button, he stops. 

“Ezra –,” it’s a whine and you can’t even chastise yourself for it. And neither, it seems, can he. 

Head tilted as if curious about the label of a box beneath colorful wrapping, he dips his wide hand beneath the edge of your suit. The heat that radiates from his palm against the curve of your stomach has you writhing underneath him, your knees drawing up to his hips, trying to catch any relief. 

But he takes his self-satisfied time. Callouses of a hard-won life snag and drag over the soft paper-thin skin that covers your ribs as he maps you in one hand. When he cups your right breast in his palm, the noise you make is a sob of gratitude. 

“You let another man besides me do this to you?” 

The snarling pit of your own thoughts slows as some awareness realizes he’s speaking to you. 

You swallow, clutching his bicep, begging for forgiveness before even opening your mouth to answer. 

“It didn’t mean anything, Ez, it wasn’t you – it meant nothing to me–,”

“But you let someone else touch what’s mine, hm?” That lazy, slightly irritated look on his face, he rotates his hand, squeezing the cup of your tit again, before sharply pinching your nipple. 

“Ezra–,” you choke out and his thigh shifts between your legs, just close enough to feel the heat but nowhere near close enough to grind against. His thumb rotates the raised flesh slow enough to capture and catalog every sigh it draws from you, his eyes catching between his hand and your relaxed face. 

He wears the same expression he does when sitting in the backs of blackmarket tea shops and smoky alebins. When the prospect of striking gold becomes all he can think about.

“Strip.” He suddenly commands. He lifts off you just enough for you to wrench your arm through the armhole, all the while keeping a rough palm on one breast, and then the other. You watch him massage your flesh and your ribs tremble with an unsteady breath. Only when a slightly cool breeze meanders over your bare shoulders and chest do you realize that the tent flap is still open, your head inches from the edge. A perfect and unimpeded view to anyone who wants to watch him hungrily grope your tits. Embarrassment peaks sharply, despite his hand pressing you into the tarp, you wrench your neck back and look over your shoulder through the window of the open tent as if you need to confirm that you are giving the jungle a floor show.

“Ez– shit, the flap–,” 

He finds that the skin beneath your breast had grown sticky and slick from sweat, the humidity still oppressive even with a breeze. He bends his head and licks that same sweaty path and your attention snaps back to him, nails curling against his scalp, his warm breath a high-intensity balm to your roughly-played-with nipples. 

“Not a soul in sight, Neptune,” he murmurs lazily into your ribcage, his nose running up and down the valley between your tits. “And if there were, let them learn a thing or two.” 

His teeth nip the swell of your stomach as he crawls down your half-naked body. Without his heat and hands, the tenderness from his attention on your breasts ratchets up to an ache, a minor preoccupation before he hooks his fingers around the rest of the jumpsuit and tugs. 

You are naked beneath him, swollen chest rising and falling, your knuckles scraping against the pallet as you search for something to grip with all your might. You smell of lagoon water and hot jungle air, of muggy photosynthesis and algae. The smoky scent of the black ash of that distant planet never really left Ezra and the dampness of the rain seems to stir it up. He towers over you, dark and breathing heavy. Smoke and brimstone.

He gropes your ankles, then your calves, hands gliding over the thick hair there – now grown soft in length – as he slowly spreads your legs, with a light you’d never seen before in his eyes. 

“Neptune, I revolve around you.” 

A wave of anxiety lurches up your throat when he brings his mouth to your cunt, the cloying, imagined scent of moon lilies threatening to tear you out of the moment – he won’t want you wild like this – but it’s forcefully yanked back down with a single stripe of his tongue. His previously casual, authoritative persona cracks when he buries his face into your unkempt curls and lets out a deep, overly pleased moan.

Your back bends and he’s gathering up your limbs in his arms to pin them down, nearly resting his forehead on your pubic bone. A few more licks, some deeper than others into where you drip for him, and your thighs start to shake. His fingers around your thighs squeeze roughly against your flesh and pull you further apart. 

Between the flush of slick seeping from you at an embarrassing rate and the wiry hair kept natural out of a certainty no one would see it, he must be drowning or choking, his tongue flicking and sliding, nose prodding your clit just enough to spread the sparks of arousal up through your spine. Feeling as though you’re losing your grip on reality, you sink your hands into his hair, thumb rubbing back that blonde patch, and tug. The moan he shoots into your cunt as he rocks forward into your touch has you whining helplessly. The tarp squeaks where he rubs his hips into it. 

His arms curled around your thighs, your hips shake with restraint against every lap of his tongue until he flicks your clit and your hips grind up against his obliging mouth, a sunspot of pleasure flaring brightly. But all too soon, Ezra lifts up onto his elbows, his hands smoothing across your stomach and he pops his mouth up from your wet folds. With an irate gasp, the swell of bliss fading, your gaze snaps down to plead with him, but he shakes his head.

Wordlessly, he takes one hand from your thigh and wipes his mouth clean with a swipe of his fingers. Then, with his eyes wide, the skin around his mouth loose, he crooks two fingers at the top of your mound before sliding them down where his mouth was seconds ago and presses them inside of you. That simmering in your low belly roars back to life and you toss your head against the unforgiving pallet, eyes slamming shut. He growls at the obscene sucking noise your cunt makes as he plucks at you, in and out. 

“Oleaginous,” he hums, so quietly, it might have been for him. He tongues your clit lightly, pushing his fingers as deep as they can go, watching you thrash. “Mine. Understand?” You remember that tone of voice from when he had you dissecting throwers on a workbench in front of him. You nod, eyes fluttering open, balancing on the precarious edge of release. 

You want to obey his every word. 

His thumb twists up, opening your clit to him and within a whispered breath of “good girl” he sucks your bundle of nerves and launches you into orbit. 

Your entire body goes stiff from the force of it, only to crash back down into his waiting hands, your voice wavering on a high-pitched, girlish wail that shrieks above the sound of rain. Waves of bliss lap at every nerve ending and your vision goes fuzzy for a minute, the only sound you can register is the pounding of your blood in your ears.

And then you register the steady, wet plunge of his fingers still dragging in and out of your pussy.

“Was that mine?” 

Your clit tingles from overstimulation, but you’d rather die than have him stop – you want to answer, if only you could pick up the pieces of your voice. You can only nod, whining. He presses a wet kiss to your inner thigh, the skin there smeared with your release.

“You did a bad thing, letting someone else touch what’s mine.” He scolds, rubs that spot inside you that makes your eyes roll back in your head, holds his finger to it until it burns. You cry, his punishment evident. “Now you have to apologize, Neptune.” 

You nod again, mouth wrenched open as he drags you back and forth across pleasure and pain. 

“Y-y-yes, Ezra,” the words are bone dry, cracked between your teeth. “I’m sorry.” 

Pure wickedness strikes those earth eyes and scorches them a singed black. 

“Unfortunately, atonement is a fickle thing,” Ezra tuts, dragging his lips across your thigh in a mockery of a kiss, “and I’m not quite ready to offer absolution. Despite your offerings,” he wipes his mouth with a stroke of his palm, “this godhead remains rigid.” 

You whimper. He grins with a mouthful of teeth.

Ezra pulls back onto his knees and shuts your thighs, his hand palming your ass as he indicates that you should turn. Your entire lower half still feels like jelly – no one has ever made you come that hard with just their mouth before – but you obey. You stagger onto your hands and knees in front of him. 

His wide palm appears beneath your chin.

“Spit.”

You do.

That spit-wet hand cups your still wet cunt, middle finger rubbing briefly against your clit, before it disappears. You feel him move closer, hear his slick hand pump himself a few times with a grunt. Hot lips drag up your spine, interspersed with the nip of teeth, and when he lays across your back, his hands overtaking yours and threading your fingers together, his bare chest presses up against the skin of your back and you shudder. 

He noses your temple, his throbbing cock coated between your folds. He bites at your jaw and follows your line of sight through the open tent flap. 

“Breathtaking, isn’t it? All that moisture, dripping and running over smooth rock and fern. All that heat coagulating in spaces it shouldn’t fit. All that . . . open field, for anyone to just wander into. Take a look around and smell the air. Could they smell you like I can, Neptune? The way you leak for this cock?”

As he hums filth in your ear, his hand settles again at the base of your throat, thick fingers squeezing just enough to threaten, before sliding down to your swinging breasts, rough palms catching your swollen nipples, then arching down your stomach and between your legs. 

He plays slowly with your clit; barely enough stimulation and he knows it.

“Ask for forgiveness.” He croons in your ear. The breeze returns for a moment, and between the heat of him mounting you like a feral animal and the hesitant touch of outside air against your sweaty chest, you shudder with a groan. 

“I’m sorry, Ezra. I’m so–,” his middle finger increases its pressure slightly and the words shatter in your mouth, “sor-ry.” 

“And for what?”

He continues to rub between your folds and the minute hitch in his breath is more intoxicating than anything he’s done so far. This is affecting him just as much as it does you. He kisses your jaw then tugs on the skin with his teeth. 

“For letting a-anyone but you t-touch me.”

Ezra presses his damp forehead into your shoulder, panting, your correct answers soaking the neurons in his brain. Your reward is the faster stroke of his finger. 

“And why was that a reprehensible thing to do?” His hips rut into yours, the scrape and rub of his cock between your slick lips and thighs almost enough to set you off. 

“Because it’s yours – I’m yours – f-fuck, Ezra, I’m yours, I only wanna be yours,” you sob. 

He’s suddenly gone from above you and the loud crack of his hand against your ass cheek deafens you for a minute, the sting skittering up your back and down your thigh. 

“Good fuckin’ girl.”

Your elbows shudder, the weight of his tone, his hand nearly forcing you onto your chest with your ass still in the air. You wanna be so good for him. 

He’s breathing hard and his skin is warm and damp where you feel his thigh press against the back of yours. There’s a measure of restraint he’s showing and it makes your heart pound in anticipation. You swing your hips back at him, as if you could catch yourself on his cock. 

“I wanna show you I’m yours,” you cry, nails curling into the pallet. “Please, Ezra, please!”

His broad hand settling on your spine draws a hiccup out of you, a sob. 

“Breathe . . . Good girls get what they need.” 

On an exhale, his blunt tip spreads you apart and he shuffles closer as he thickens inside you. His loud, unabashed moan overwhelms yours, when you think you might just be devoured by him. His hand, the one at your hip, squeezes you, silent reassurance. You can feel the knuckles on his other hand against your slick lips as he feeds himself into you.

“Neptune, talk to me. How,” your cunt tightens around his girth at the sound of his voice coaching you along and he grunts, as if suddenly dizzy, “h-how do you feel?”

“Amazing, Ez. Please keep going don’t stop I can take it–,” 

He obliges; something’s reconnected the wires in his brain enough to tell him to move. He huffs before sinking deeper and your eyes roll back in your head. He bottoms out and waits again, letting you both catch your breath. 

“Spent a hundred moons thinking about this.” The puff of breath against your shoulder is the only warning you have before he presses his mouth to your skin. His hand free of your clutch, his thumb softly rubs the muscle of your neck. He kisses you and kisses you and kisses you, wherever he finds bare flesh. “Would wake up in the night, with you a few feet from me, looking like divinity made sin, made real, but I wasn’t worthy to touch you. You got me all tongue-tied, Neptune, all mucked up in the head. A silly boy,” he purrs.

You glance over your shoulder, unsure which Ezra is going to meet your eyes, but wanting all of them. The man you feel most safe with in this world and the next greets you and you reach back and squeeze his hand. He chuckles softly, and with it, comes a gentle roll of his hips. You gasp, airily, your gaze slipping from his face to his chest, to the steady breathing in his stomach, and then to the growth of hair that fades as it reaches up his low belly. How many times did you sit across the room from him with your fists in tight balls, watching as he regaled exploits of riches and wonder, all the while thinking about how thick his cock is outlined in his suit – you’re so blinded by breathy dreams of what the musky scent of his cock must taste like that you miss that he’s pulled out farther, halfway now, and you are completely knocked senseless when he thrusts back in, a beat faster. 

“Later, Neptune. I’ll let you suck my cock later, but right now I’ve gotta ride this pussy to oblivion.” 

Your thighs quake at his promise, cunt squeezing him, and he huffs, picking up speed.

“I felt that. You really like sucking cock that much?” 

All you can answer him with is a whine. Your knees are starting to ache from the barest cushion the tarp provides, the palms of your hands sore, but you can’t find it in you to remotely care. With every stroke, he fills you up to a breaking point before riding you back out. Moaning gratefully, you finally drop onto your elbows, your cheek scraping against the pallet with every forceful thrust behind you. He tilts your hips up higher, on one knee to fuck down into you; he’s searching with his cock for that spot that made your brain numb. 

Like a flood, you feel bliss roll down your spine, his hands on your lower back pulling you up another peak, and you gasp, at the edge of a very, very long drop, the sounds in the tent as sticky and wet as the rain outside.

But Ezra’s sounds are loudest of them all. Grunting. Hissing. Moaning like he’s fucking the best pussy of his life. You open one eye, glancing over your shoulder and the sight drops open your mouth. Hips pumping forward, skin dewy with sweat, he breathes like a freshly broken-in stallion, relieved that something finally bested him. Chest full and tight with muscle, flushed pink with roaring blood. Stomach torqued with tension. His rhythm is caught between his hands pulling you onto him and his cock thrusting into you. A frantic beat that bounces wet and hot, mouth agape and eyes rolling shut, his head drops back between his shoulders. You push back slightly and he stutters, the hand on your hip tightening. 

“Not gonna last, Neptune–” he grits, his jaw locked tight. The image of him actively staving off an orgasm for you to finish first has been imprinted on your brain for the rest of your life. 

“J-just a little harder, Ez.” 

He obeys, submitting as you had for him, sweat curling around his neck and down his chest. 

As release barrels down on you, those mahogany eyes catch and hold yours in a second that lasts through infinity. They promise you things that you didn’t know you asked for, those eyes, made vows only your soul could hear. You see, in that instant before you are swallowed whole, that he’d die at your feet, if you asked him to. He’d give up every worldly treasure he won through grit and his teeth if you needed it or wanted it. If it made you happy.

His Neptune – in the crushing grip of your gravity. Willingly caught in the trail of your comet as you fill up his night sky.    

“Yeah, that’s it, right there – Ez-ra!” 

His face blown out in near ecclesial bliss is the last thing you see before your vision goes white. Your heart pounds in your ears so loudly, it's the only thing that exists for an instant. And then you shatter with a perfectly soft cry, bliss breaking across you like a heavy wave, and you succumb to exhaustion. 

Behind you, he groans, fucking you faster through it, snarling something entirely incomprehensible. 

You think you might say his name, you don’t know what your mouth is doing, but whatever you say, it breaks him and you are dragged through another low shock, the flood of cum deep into your achy cunt enough to contract your walls again, his harsh groan stuffing your ears just as full. 

The rain is barely louder than your desperate attempts to breathe. 

The tarp crackles as you slump forward onto your stomach, Ezra dropping to his side with half his body over yours. Panting raggedly, his hand curls up to the base of your neck, a reassurance of his presence and commitment when words have failed him. 

You lay like that for a long time.

And then, when feeling starts to return to your limbs, you turn your head, your nose rubbing against his. When you breathe hotly across his face, he grins a satisfied grin that splits into a chuckle. You laugh with him too, curling up into his chest, his forearm is sticky across your spine, and he kisses your forehead.

Staring up at the tarp, together you listen to the rain. 

In the long drawn out, buzzy silence, his nails scratch the base of your skull. And then, like he remembered something vital, he picks his head up and looks at you.

“Do you want this to change things for us?” 

“Yes.” You cup the muscles of his thick neck. “Yes, Ezra. I want this to change everything between us. Please.” 

He smiles, unguarded and open. 

“Wild horses never stood a chance . . . especially against these tits.” He nips at the swell of your breast and you laugh. “I had no plans of letting you go in any case . . . but we are bound from this day forward. You know that, don’t you?”

You nod. A stroke of heat passes over his eyes and  Ezra leans forward to kiss you, his hand on your cheek pulling you in close, as close as you can be, two sticky bodies, cum-dried and tingling.

“And if we’re going to spend every year of our lives together, I have a question for you.” he pushes away a stray strand of hair stuck to your face, nose tip to nose tip, “did you have a good birthday, Neptune? Are you satisfied?”

With a giggle that has his eyebrow arching playfully, you kiss his cheek.

“I already told you. This was the best birthday I’ve ever had.” 

+

[magpiepills]

Sagittarius

Rating: EXPLICIT 18+ MDNI

Pairing: Ezra x f reader

Word count: 2.4k

Summary: you and Ezra in your pod.

Warnings: SMUT! PIV, helmet riding, slight bondage? Idk what else.

A word from the author: has anyone done riding Ezra’s helmet yet? No matter. Here’s mine. With gratitude to the mutuals and the magic sluts.

Your meeting was an improbability on a largely deserted moon. He had talked so sweet, so flattering, so genteel. Like chloroform on a pretty handkerchief. Lorenzo fell for it, too. Lorenzo always was a sucker.

Ezra says he’s sorry.

Sorry he tried to rob you. Sorry he shot your husband dead. Even if Lorenzo did shoot first, you had really wanted to be the one to dispatch the conniving bastard, and he took that from you. The way he squirmed and huffed now, well, that’s his own doing.

If robbery and murder weren’t great enough offenses, he’d had the gall to track you all the way back to your rented pod and barge right in. He couldn’t just get away with that.

You’d heard him. He rattled the door, forced it open, metal creaking and groaning against rusted metal followed by heavy boots thudding against the corrugated metal floor. You’d already stripped down to your tank top and underwear, a futile attempt at staving off the humid heat of Bakhroma Green. There was no time to get dressed now. You held your thrower in both hands, finger itching at the trigger and your back against the brittle plastic of the pod walls. Fool as he was, he came in head first. When the butt of your Frontiersman didn’t quite connect with the required force, Ezra wheeled around and snatched your weapon away, flinging it clear across the pod.

Incensed, you charged at him. Grabbing him, wrenching his arm back and pulling until he hollered and fell forward. You let his weight drop onto the floor, he groaned and bared his teeth, writhing pathetically at your feet. Good. Serves him right. You watched him for a moment, hands on your hips and head cocked. There wasn’t time to consider the next step in dealing with your intruder. He was on the floor and you had the upper hand. You couldn’t let him get up, that was certain.

No sooner was your mind made than you threw yourself on him, doing your best to pin him down and get him into a headlock or something to incapacitate him long enough for you to toss him back out of the ship and leave him to die. Ezra grunted and panted, bucking and rolling, trying his best to throw you off of his back. You held your own as long as you could, but he was furious and strong. In a flash he grabbed your hair and flipped you both, knocking the wind from your lungs. The ensuing melee saw you tumbling and flailing about the pod, each of you trying hard to get the other to stay still. Panting, sweating, grunting, swearing. You aren’t sure how you end up on his back, holding him with his arms bent. Thankfully, he had no energy left to fight, because neither did you. You needed to tie him up.

It wasn’t ideal. None of this was, really. It was a shit show from the start and you’ve just had to accept that and somehow get through it. You did the only thing you could do under the circumstances and you tied him up with your panties. The fabric was probably cutting off his circulation and the knot may not hold long, but it was good enough. You did your best to put out of your mind the fact that you’re naked from the waist down now. It didn’t matter if he saw, you told yourself. As quickly as possible you were going to be shoving him out the hatch and leaving him far behind.

You flipped your captive onto his back, muzzle of your recovered thrower shoved into his chest. With your adversary bound, you relaxed for a moment, catching your breath before you had to haul him out.

You traced your fingertips over his visor. The glass is thick. Scratched and pitted and heavy over his head. Behind it he’s sweating. Small beads on his forehead, nose and cheeks that gathered together and slid down to his hair. It was your first good look at him. He was pretty. What a waste. With his big, round eyes, shiny, pitch-colored things; with his nose, soft aquiline curve, and lips, pouting open now, as he looked pitifully back at you.

He kept those clever eyes trained on yours as you shuffled up closer, knees on either side of his helmet. You rapped gently on the glass, smiling sweetly down at him. You ran your hands over the cool surface, but still he watched you. You lifted the hem of your sweatshirt, and brought it up, up, up over your bare tits, and tossed it aside. You watched with amusement, tilting your head sympathetically to the side as you squeezed and lifted your tits, letting them fall again before gently pinching your nipples. “Mmmm. Feels so good, Ezra. Touch me, please. I know you can make it even better.” You whined, teasing him. He closed his eyes, brows furrowed, muttering something you couldn’t hear under his helmet. “Oh, I forgot. You’re tied up. Well, I guess if you can’t take care of me I’ll have to just do it myself.” You sighed dramatically and rolled your hips, “I think there’s still a way you can help though. You do want to be good, don’t you, Ezra? You want to keep me happy, isn’t that right?” He wet his lips with his tongue and nodded shallowly, eyelids looking heavier. You circled your nipples with your fingertips, teasing them into firm points, caressing down your stomach and your thighs.

He squirmed below you and whined when you jutted your hips forward, pressing your bare pussy against the glass. Ezra stared, frozen as you repositioned, settling right over his line of sight so he could see exactly what you were about to do.

At first your movements were small and deliberate. Your puffy lips pressed lewdly, not quite wet enough, but enjoying the hard, smooth convex of the helmet between your thighs. You watched Ezra. He was entranced, focused intently on your cunt and the reality of how close you were, and the impossibility of his desires. He wanted to flatten and spread those lips with his lips and tongue and nose and chin. He would have had you thoroughly soaked by now if it was up to him, but you took your time.

One hand abandoned his helmet and came back up to pluck and twist at your nipples. You closed your eyes and thought of Ezra behaving himself well enough to deserve having his cock sucked. It was big, you could see that through his suit. It was immediately evident that all of that grappling had stirred something in him. His environmental suit was snug over his straining erection. The thick bulge curved up and across his hip, accentuated by the straps banded around his upper thighs. It was impressive in thickness and length. Shame that a nice cock is wasted on a bastard like him. You wondered if he was cut or if there’d be foreskin to slip back with your lips. You wondered if he would want to come in your mouth, or if he wanted to paint your face and chest with his spend. You thought of how it would taste. You thought of how good it feels to make a strong man so weak.

“Why can’t you be good?” You complained, breathy and unintentional. You didn’t even register that you’d spoken it aloud until another voice, deep and craggy spoke up. “I can be good. Let me.”

It was the first thing he had spoken that hadn’t been a shouted demand, or a threat. It aggravated you. “Shut up.” You snapped at him, he hitched his hips in protest, teeth bared as he watched your arousal slowly seep onto the glass, aiding your gliding movements. It made his mouth water.

Back and forth, a salacious drag right before his eyes, he watched you use his helmet for your pleasure. The delicate inner folds, the swollen bud of your clit, the tender flesh of your lips. Every quickening movement was like a wet, messy kiss, smearing your slick across the smooth plane. He licked his lips and imagined how he would drink you down. He thought of sucking your clit between his lips to feel it twitch.

He didn’t realize how destroyed he looked. Wet and pathetic and mewling. He couldn’t even feel the way your panties bite into his wrists anymore. He didn’t care. He wanted you to have him like this if you wanted.

You hitched closer and closer to your apex with every grind of your hips. The power alone was a potent aphrodisiac, having Ezra, big as he was, under your thumb made you so very wet. He was your plaything, now. Maybe you’d keep him. Use him how you wanted. You could come on his helmet, his thigh, his cock if you wanted to. He wouldn’t fight. Not with the way he looked now. His eyes were inky black and shining, his warm breath fogged the glass above his parted lips. You rode his helmet unashamedly, caring only for your own demented pleasure.

Your orgasm felt like a slow motion electric shock. His face was obscured by the wet mess you’d made. It bubbled and dripped obscenely.

Your panting breath matched the rise and fall of his chest below you. Slowly you began the return to reason, to the reality of your situation. Reality is changeable, though and yours took a turn before your eyes even adjusted from the post-orgasmic haze.

You were on your back in a flash. Ezra was caging you in and smiling bodefully down at you, triumphant. Your face was still flushed from your orgasm, but your joy quickly soured. Your panties lay in tatters beside your head.

“Have you had your fun now?” He mocked. Your release still clung to his helmet and you licked a defiant stripe through it, never dropping his dark gaze. Ezra chuckled and held both your wrists in one hand while he flung off his helmet and tore at the closures of his suit.

“What was your plan? You use me and then what? Leave me high and dry?” He shook his head, feigning disappointment in your carelessness, all the while fighting his way out of the dirty canvas suit, pulling at buttons and straps until one arm was free and his thin, sweat-damp undershirt clung to his broad chest.

You didn’t notice when you’d stopped struggling in his grip, but Ezra certainly did. He clocked the trail your eyes made from his lips to his neck, to his shoulders and down his torso to where the elastic band of his boxers peeked out. He loosened his grip, shook his other arm from its sleeve, and puffed out his chest. His suit sagged down his narrow hips, as he reached for the collar of his shirt and pulled it over his head in one swift motion. What a sight he was. Muscular but soft, rough but tender. The thick swell of his now turgid member pulled at his boxers.

He palmed over it, emphasizing the length with the slow drag of his hand.

He licked his lips. “Go on.” He challenged. “Tell me to be good again.”

The air inside the pod had become thick and heavy, your skin was warm and your joints all felt too loose. The snarl you had intended came out as a ragged plea of his name.

Ezra was gentler than you’d expected. He let go of your wrists with a pointed look meant to keep you from doing anything rash, and began to explore your body. He squeezed your hips, kneading the yielding flesh, then sliding his hands up your sides, letting his fingers follow the shape of your ribs. He caressed over your belly, circling your belly button with his thumb. He watched as your chest rose and fell. He slid his palms up, flat against your skin as he pushed your bare tits together.

You could feel his hips shifting against you, feel the weight of his bulge against your cunt while he dropped to his elbow to bring your nipple to his mouth. His touch was firm. You could feel the hunger and need in the way he licked and sucked at your pointed nipples. He was holding back.

“Tell me.” He repeated. His voice was deeper, gravelly.

Your eyes fluttered closed and for a moment you wondered what came next. You knew what he wanted from you in this moment, but after that? You didn’t have the strength to fight him again. You released the breath you had been holding and asked him once more: “Be good, Ezra.”

There was little resistance when he plunged into you. He watched your face as you took what he gave, the way your mouth fell open and your head tipped back as he buried himself deep in your wet heat.

He hooked his arms under your shoulders, keeping you beneath him, as if you’d dream of leaving now. He grunted with the force of his hips pounding down into you, each heavy stroke forcing breathy cries from you. “Ah! Ah! Ahh! Ezra!”

“Is this good enough?” He asked, slowing his pace and looking down into your unfocused eyes. He looked further, down the planes of your sweat-slick bodies to where he stretched you in his cock. He rolled his hips just so, catching your clit with the wet hair at the base of his cock. You came, and he could feel your pounding pulse through the thin skin of your neck where he nibbled and sucked. When your body settled he redoubled his thrusts, palming your breast and panting into your neck until the moment he pulled out and spilled across your cunt.

The pod was silent, save for your heavy breaths, and you watched Ezra with caution. He was looking around, taking in the blinking lights and muted beeping of the control panel. He looked curious. Maybe resigned. He rubbed your thigh and you lay beside him on the floor, too aware of how your initial plan of escape was now useless. Your brain too scrambled from the force of your orgasm to formulate a new one.

Perhaps fortunately, you didn’t need to. Ezra squeezed your knee and leaned over you. He kissed you slowly and tenderly. Then, quietly, he whispered against your lips “give me the starter.”

[avastrasposts]

A Baker's Dozen**

Ezra part two

Ezra’s chapter finished second in the poll about who should return to the bakery, and it made me so happy. I'd never written Ezra before and he was a challenge! But the story came together well with the help of his language and personality. But it was also sadder than I planned it to be, and I really wanted to revisit him and continue the story. So please enjoy part two!

(I'm editing and posting this in slightly more unconventional circumstances, so please excuse any errors!)

With a sigh you lock the front door of the bakery and flip the ‘Closed’ sign to face outwards. It had been a long weekend, lots of customers, and not all of them very polite. And to make matters worse, your shop assistant, the high schooler who’d worked extra on weekends, had been accepted at the last minute into their first college of choice and this was your first weekend without them. You’re exhausted and looking forward to your day off tomorrow.

The knock on the back door makes you jump just as you turn off the lights in the shop. Cautiously you walk to the back room and stop by the door.

“Hello?”

“It-it’s me, Ezra,” comes a muffled voice in a stutter from the outside, “P-please…I..”

You don’t need to hear more, you rush to the door and unlock it, throwing it open and the man on the other side almost loses his balance, propped up against the door frame. His appearance makes you gasp, reaching out to steady him as he wobbles. The stark blonde patch in his hair is plastered against his forehead, stained with blood from the cut just above his eyebrow, another cut marks his cheekbone, a bruise already blooming around it. From the way he’s curled his arm around his torso, you can tell something’s hurting his chest.

“Ezra, what happened?” you wince, helping him to step through the door, his face twisting in pain as he puts weight on his left foot.

He only grunts in response to your question, inhaling sharply as you carefully try to take his weight.

“Lean on me, let’s get you to the chair, I’ll call an ambulance, it’ll be ok,” you say, making him lean on you as much as you can as he hobbles into the kitchen and sinks down on the chair with a groan.

“No, no ambulance, I am not that badly off,” he says, shaking his head as you pull over the stool on wheels and make him put his injured leg up onto it.

“What happened, Ezra?” you ask again, sinking down to get a better look at him. He’s pale under his golden complexion, his eyes glassy and unfocused.

“It’s nothing, no matter, I just need to-,” he says, but even as he says it, he closes his eyes and breathes in through his nose, his hand tightening over his chest.

“Ezra,” you implore again, putting your hand on his uninjured leg, “you’ve turned up, injured and bloody, weeks after you disappeared, and you try to tell me it’s nothing? Do you think I’m that stupid?”

With that he peels his eyes open and looks down at you, and the pain in his eyes almost makes your heart stop.

“Ezra…” you implore again, softer this time, “be honest with me, I want to help, you know that.”

“I’m…I’m ashamed…” he whispers, his eyes falling to your hand on his leg, “you know what I am. I know I left you without explanation last time, after you were so kind to me. And here I am, needing your help again, because I have no one else to turn to.”

“Just tell me what happened, please, Ezra,” you say, “let me help.”

“I…I’ve…some men…” he begins, his eyes still on your hand on his leg, “I’d fallen asleep on the bus stop bench, and some men seemed to take offense,” he looks up at you, and you’re suddenly reminded of the mask Ezra is so skilled at pulling up over his true face, it’s firmly in place now, his hesitancy gone as he picks his words.

“They decided to make me leave by shoving me off the bench, and I twisted my ankle as I fell. When I couldn’t get up they roughed me up, threw me in a dumpster when they were done. I hurt my side trying to get out of it, fell badly when my foot gave up,” he gives you a humorless laugh, “Turns out climbing out of a dumpster with only one good arm and leg is rather tricky.”

“Ezra…that’s terrible, we need to get you to the ER, they need to check your chest, you may have broken ribs,” you make to stand up but his hand comes out and grabs yours before it leaves his leg.

“No, please, no, it’s not necessary,” he says, squeezing your hand, “I just need to clean the cuts and, if you have one, a bandage for my ankle so that I can at least stand on it while I make my way home.”

“You need to get your ribs checked, Ezra,” you reply, not taking a no from him, “and you might need stitches on the cut over your eye, it looks deep. Please,” you add as you see him shake his head again.

“Sweet girl, I can’t, please just let me get cleaned up and I’ll leave, I won’t impose on you again.”

“Ezra, you’re not imposing, except with your stubbornness, I’m taking you to the ER and that’s it. I’m not letting you leave without getting looked at by a professional.” You pull your hand from his and reach for your coat and he gives a forced little chuckle, smiling without mirth, his hand coming up as if to make a dismissive gesture in the air, but you stop him. .

“And don’t try that act with me, Ezra, I spent enough time with you last time to know when you’re lying, either to protect yourself or me.”

His hand falls back down, his shoulders slumping, “Your eagerness to help does you credit, but you don’t understand,” he says as you shrug into your coat.

He’s shaking his head, staring down at his solitary hand, picking at a fleck of blood on his stained pants, and you wait for him to press out the words. His words failing him in a way that is so far from his usual unstoppable stream that it makes you stop and look down at him with even more concern as he continues to pick at the blood.

“I…I simply don’t…I don’t have the…means, I just…can’t pay it,” he stutters, clenching his fist tight, his voice defeated, “I have no insurance…I don’t even have a valid driver’s license, they will not even let me in…” He doesn’t meet your eyes as you move closer to him, but he shakes his head again, his shoulders lifting up to his ears as the tension builds in his body, “No address.”

You sink down in front of the chair, taking his hand, stilling it against his leg, unraveling his fist as he sighs again.

“I’m as homeless as an alley cat, you see, sweet girl. I’m ashamed to say I have nothing, nothing to my name.” His voice is low, eyes downcast, and he doesn’t take your hand even though you wrap your fingers around it.

“I guessed,” you say, your voice low, trying to make him meet your eyes, “But you still need help, and I can take you to the clinic down by the church. They can check you out and get you more help, free if you need it,” you give his hand a squeeze, “Please, Ezra,” you implore, “let me help.”

You sit quietly next to the chair for a few seconds while Ezra seems to fight something inside him, his jaw ticking with the tension. With a small grunt, he finally gives you a short nod, his shoulders sinking down again, “You’re too good for this world, sweet girl,” he mutters, taking your hand properly and letting you help him to his feet.

“Not at all,” you reply, getting him to put his arm over your shoulder as you help him limp to the back door again, “but you’re my friend, and you need help whether you want to accept it or not. And I can be a lot more pigheaded than you.” The last you say with a smile in your voice as you help him down the back stairs. And it gets a small chuckle out of him before he winces at the pain.

You get him to sit in the back seat, his injured leg elevated as he grumbles about getting dirt in your car. Rolling your eyes in response, you strap yourself in and reverse out. Ezra shifts in the back, trying to get comfortable, in the rear view mirror you see him gently touch the cut over his eye that’s still bleeding.

“Would you recognise the men who did it?” you ask, looking back at the road.

“Maybe, but I’m not talking to the police,” Ezra replies, guessing what you’re thinking, “They don’t care about someone like me, I’m more likely to get into trouble for bringing their attention to my lack of address.”

“I was just thinking, maybe they make a habit of it, attacking sleeping people, they should be stopped.”

“Not by me, sweet girl, I don’t have enough fight left in me for that.”

You glance back at Ezra again, he never sounded so defeated the last time you saw him, and now he’s leaning his head against the window, staring into nothing, looking utterly forlorn.

Letting the subject rest, you drive in silence the rest of the short way to the clinic.

A nurse comes over as she spots you and Ezra coming through the door and soon he’s been told to lie back on a stretcher while you hover awkwardly nearby.

“Do you want me to wait outside?” you ask him as the nurse leaves to find the doctor on call for the evening.

“Only if you wish to,” he says, dropping his head back on the pillow and staring at the ceiling, “thank you for escorting me, but it’s not necessary to wait, I can manage on my own now. You should go home.”

“Ezra,” you hiss, keeping your voice low in the open room, only curtains separating his bed from his neighbors, “quit being such a pigheaded martyr, you’re such an idiot.”

His eyes snap to yours when he hears your anger, and you continue, “If I didn’t care about you I wouldn’t have opened the door in the first place, and I certainly wouldn’t have cried for a week after you disappeared the last time.”

His eyes widen at this and he opens his mouth to say something but you don’t let him.

“I’m staying. And you’re coming home with me when we’re done here. No arguments, so you can just hold that clever tongue of yours.”

Ezra closes his mouth and opens it again, meeting your glare with astonished eyes as he fumbles for a reply. But before he has time to compose himself, the curtain around the bed is pulled to the side and the doctor appears, followed by the nurse.

Ezra doesn’t protest any more as the doctor treats him. With a small bag of over the counter painkillers in your hand, and a crutch under his one arm, he slowly follows you back to the car without a word. Luckily no fractured rib, but a sprained ankle and a few strips of surgical tape over his two cuts is the tally of the beating, and you’re grateful it’s not worse. You’re even more grateful Ezra found his way back to you for help. You’ll be damned if you’ll let him go back to the streets, even if you have to shackle him to a radiator in your house. Ezra seems to realize this, and doesn’t say anything as you stop at a supermarket on the way home, and return to the car with a toothbrush and various other supplies he might need for his stay with you.

He doesn’t speak until you’ve closed the door behind the both of you and he’s hobbled into your living room. You put the painkillers on the coffee table and turn to help him sink down on the couch.

“Thank you. Truly,” he says, as you put a cushion under his leg, propping it up on the low table.

“Don’t fight it so much next time,” you tell him, “people are nice sometimes.” Straightening up you change the subject as your stomach rumbles, the time for talking is later, “Are you hungry?”

He nods, “Very.”

“I’ve got some leftover pasta sauce and bread, I’ll heat it up for us,” you say, leaving him on the couch. But it doesn’t take long before you hear him hobble after you into the kitchen, sitting down on one of the stools by the island.

“I apologize,” he says, “I was ashamed of showing you how pitiful my life is, both when we met last time, and today. I…I find it hard to accept help, I don’t want to burden anyone with my plight, it was my own foolishness who brought me to this low point. I should carry the consequences of my actions and not burden you with them.”

“Ezra…” you say softly, trying to keep any trace of pity out of your voice, “we all make bad choices, or just have a run of bad luck. Maybe next time I’m the one who needs help, and I hope someone is willing to give it then.”

He nods, but he still looks forlorn and you ache to put your arms around him, but you think he might see it as pity, so you give him a smile, and turn back to the stove.

“You should go back to the couch, Ezra,” you say, “put your leg up again, like the doctor said. I’ll bring you your food.”

“Will you join me on the couch for dinner?” he asks and it’s your turn to nod.

“Of course, I’m starving. Get comfortable, pick something to watch and I’ll be there in a few minutes.”

When you return to the living room with two plates, Ezra has propped his leg up again and readily accepts a plate from you. Some nature documentary is playing on the tv and you gratefully sink down on your end of the couch and dig in. Ezra balances his plate on his lap and from the corner of your eye you can see him struggling with twisting the spaghetti onto his fork with his left hand. His eyebrows are pulled together in frustration and the fork clinks angrily against the plate.

You set down your own fork and leave for the kitchen, returning with a tray on legs, for having breakfast in bed.

“Here,” you say, putting it down and placing his plate on it, “Ask for help, Ezra.”

He gives you an indecipherable look, but you just return to your own plate, your attention on the rainforest birds on the tv.

“Thank you,” he says after a minute, looking over at you.

“You’re welcome,” you reply, giving him a quick smile that he returns, the first smile you’ve seen from him since he arrived back at the bakery.

The rest of the evening passes in companionable silence for the most part. You want to ask Ezra about where he’s been since you last saw him, how he’s been. You know why he didn’t return to the bakery, the other shop owners on the street certainly made it known that they didn’t trust him, and didn’t want him near. And you see now, even more clearly, how little value even Ezra places on himself.

I have nothing to give to anyone.

That’s what he’d written in his note to you, the day after his first visit. And it echoes in the back of your mind as you go over the events of the evening, stealing looks at Ezra sitting in the other corner of your couch.

He came back to the bakery when he was injured, but it seems even that had been a hard task for him, to ask for help, and then very reluctantly accepting it. He’d told you he lost his arm in a mining accident, but you don’t know if that was the true story or not. But whatever the truth is, you’re starting to understand the strange dark haired man with the odd blonde patch, a little bit better. He must’ve been fiercely independent before he lost his arm, capable, his skill matching his sharp intellect. And strong, if the shape of his wide shoulders and broad back is anything to go by. You can still remember how his muscles flexed and bunched under your exploring hands when he’d kissed you in the kitchen, a strength that hadn’t diminished when he lost his arm.

To lose that independence, and then his home, to be reduced to relying on others for help, even with the simplest things, it could turn any person bitter. And yet, the Ezra you met in the bakery, as wary as you’d been of him at first, had been warm and passionate, tender and gentle even. The mask he’d let slip while you baked together, had revealed a man you could fall in love with, even with the circumstances of his life twisting the person he showed the world.

You give him another look, his strong profile lit by the tv, his chocolate hair and beard longer and scruffier than before, more streaks of gray and the bags under his eyes heavy. But underneath the layers of grime, the stress of his life, he’s still a handsome man, albeit a little bit dirty right now. But that’s a problem for tomorrow you decide.

With a yawn you stretch and get to your feet, picking up the plates.

“I’ll get you a pillow and a blanket,” you say, “I left a new toothbrush in the bathroom, and a clean towel.”

“I can’t stay,” he says, predictably, and you ignore him, going back to the kitchen to put the plates in the dishwasher, turning it on before you return to the living room. Ezra is standing by the couch, the crutch under his arm.

“You’re staying, Ezra,” you interrupt him before he can protest, “You’re injured, and quite frankly, you’re dirty. Sleep here tonight, wash up in the morning, and then we’ll see.”

“Sweet girl…I can’t let you…” he begins but you shake your head.

“Do you think so little of me? That you think I’d let anyone, let alone an injured friend, sleep rough on the streets?”

Ezra looks back at your raised eyebrows and challenging look.

“Well?” you ask, “Do you think I’m that kind of friend?”

“No,” he says eventually, a small, exasperated smile, softening his face, “I know you’re not that kind of friend.”

“Good. Toothbrush and towel in the bathroom, go clean up, I’ll make your bed,” you point your finger in the direction of the bathroom and give him a stern look, softened by a crooked smile that Ezra returns.

“Yes, boss,” he says, and hobbles away.

Ezra beds down on the couch and you make sure his leg is propped up by a couple of extra cushions before you retreat to your own bed. You can hear him shifting on the couch, the old thing creaking under his weight, before you drift into sleep.

A loud crash startles you from your dreams hours later, early morning light coming through your curtains, and you shoot up in bed.

“Ezra?” you call out, scrambling out of bed, wrapping your gown around you as you hurry out of your bedroom. You find him by the open front door, cursing silently as he struggles to pick up the crutch from the floor.

“You’re sneaking out,” you state, stopping as you see him straightening up, the crutch still on the floor, his hand on the wall for balance.

“I’m afraid I have to depart, a pressing matter requires my swift attention this morning,” he replies, and oh, the mask is so clearly in place, the polite, apologetic smile, hiding the real man.

“What kind of pressing matter?” you ask, “Let me get dressed and I’ll drive you,” you challenge, crossing your arms and challenging him to just fucking dare to lie to you again.

“No, I can’t let you do that,” he smiles, wider now, even more apologetic, “I must converge with a most disagreeable drifter, a small matter of business I have with him that needs to be settled, I truly do not wish you to meet him. Such a rough, uncouth-”

“Ezra…” you say, your voice a warning, as you bend to pick up the crutch, holding out of his reach. It’s a dirty trick but he won’t get far without it.

“I assure you, sweet girl, I really need to depart, it would not be fortunate for you, or your excellent business, to be seen around town with myself, or this disagreeable man. I can’t bring this misfortune down on you after you’ve treated me with such kindness,” Ezra tilts his head, looking up at you through his dark eyelashes, the ringmaster at work, using his words to bend the audience to follow his ques, to believe his illusion.

You shake your head, and lean the crutch in a corner, away from him.

“You forget, Ezra, that you’ve bared more than you maybe intended to me, and I see what you’re trying to do,” you say, moving around him and closing the front door. “Your smooth lies don’t work on me anymore, I can see that mask you pull up whenever you try to bend me to your will.”

You stop in front of him, and he wavers, the smile, almost a leer, slips from his face. Carefully, as if he’s an animal you don’t want to spook, you bring your hand to his cheek, your thumb brushing across his scruffy beard.

“Ezra…you don’t need to fight so hard. Not with me.”

The mask is gone again, his determination to oppose your will melting away faster this time, and Ezra’s eyes fill with regret as he leans his face into your hand. You seek out his, hanging limp by his side and lace your fingers together, squeezing it lightly as you let him hold on to you for balance.

“I left you a note,” he whispers, “I’m truly grateful, I didn’t want to leave again without explanation.”

“What does it say?”

He sighs, closing his eyes briefly, “Same as I said last night, I don’t want to bring you more trouble, I have nothing to give, I don’t want to be a burden. And I know what you’ll say,” he looks up at you as he hears you inhale to berate him, “You don’t think I’m a burden, that I won’t bring you trouble. But I have not lived life honestly, and the people in this community know me as a trickster who cons them. It can only bring you trouble if they see you with me.”

“Have you stolen from them?” you ask, and he shakes his head.

“Not from them, no. But I have stolen in the past, and not only what I needed of food and clothes. And I conned them, used their good hearts against them, they will not pardon me and see me as favorably as you do, sweet girl.”

You caress his cheek again, “Maybe it wasn’t honest, but it’s not like you forced them to give you things, just like you didn’t force me to make you a soufflé. Even though I realize I was probably just a con to you too.”

Ezra drops his eyes from yours at that, looking away as he gives you a small nod.

“It was a con, at first, I have to admit it. I was hoping for a loaf or two of bread, maybe something sweet, but…the soufflé, it wasn’t a con, I promise.” He looks up at you again, your hand has slipped from his cheek, down to his shoulder, he’s so close you can smell the toothpaste and his unwashed clothes, the antiseptic from the bandage on his cheek and forehead. You remain silent to let him continue, to see if his mask comes up again, or if he tells the truth this time.

“I told you that you captivated me, and that’s the truth, I was watching you the first day I came into the shop, you were decorating a cake, your concentration palpable, you were clearly very skilled. And knew if I conned you, I couldn’t come back, so I bought a croissant…and I left.” Ezra gives you a small smile at the memory, “You wouldn’t even know, but that croissant…it bound me to you, it was that perfect. I couldn’t help but keep going back, to watch you work, to taste more of what you’d made. And then you noticed me, and I should’ve left, but it was too late, I had already made a plan to trick you, another kind of trick.”

“What kind of trick, Ezra?” you ask and he gives you the smallest of chuckles.

“The kind that let me spend more time with you, to let me be seen as something else than the sad, homeless drifter my life has turned me into.”

He sighs, letting go of your hand to drag his rough palm over his face, rubbing at his eyes, “I’ve thought since that perhaps it was the worst of ideas, that I tricked myself more than you. I let myself step into a bubble of what could’ve been, if I had been a very different man, build a fantasy in my head where you…never mind,” he cuts himself off, leaning on the wall for balance as you seek out his hand again, “I never conned you, and I wish things were very different.”

“Ezra, I missed you when you left, and I was hurt and confused by your note and what other people said about you,” you say, taking his hand in both of yours, “but I trust you, even if you don’t believe me, I trust you. And I want you to stay, at least until you’re better, please stay this time.”

“But your neighbors, your shop…” he begins and you step forward, pressing your lips to his, silencing him. He holds himself rigid for a beat, before you feel his lips part with a soft hum.

“Fuck ‘em,” you whisper against him, “Please, Ezra, just be selfish with me.”

You don’t let him answer, but you feel his arm move, circle around your waist and you take it as a capitulation as he pulls you a little bit closer.

The kiss doesn’t last long, just a mark to pick up where you left off the last time in the bakery. Instead you pull back from him after a little while, retrieve the crutch and lead him back to the living room. The note, Ezra’s lopsided, left handed scribble on it, sits on the coffee table next to his makeshift bed.

“Do I need to read it?” you ask and he shakes his head, taking the paper and crumpling it.

“No, I’ll stay, at least until you bid me to leave.”

“Not while you limp, you’re stuck with me for a while, con man.” The last part you say with a wink, teasing him, and you’re rewarded by the dimple appearing on his cheek as he smiles, his face transforming.

“There’s nowhere else I’d rather be stuck, sweet girl,” he winks back.

The morning passes easily, now that he’s decided not to leave as soon as you give him a chance. You make breakfast, stacking the bacon high on his plate, an extra fried egg with the bread and mushrooms, three sausages on the side and a large glass of orange juice.

“Sweet girl, if I didn’t know better, I’d think you stopped me from leaving just to give me a heart attack instead,” Ezra says, eyes bulging as you set the plates down on the coffee table in front of him.

“No offense, but you look like you haven’t been eating that well. Let me spoil you while I can,” you reply, sitting down in front of your own, smaller, serving.

"You’re not mistaken, and no offense taken, it has been a few arduous months,” he says while cutting into the food, humming in satisfaction as the yolk smears the bread. It’s the last you hear from him for a while, the food takes all his attention as he works his way the whole plate, even the extra mushrooms and bacon you slide over. Eventually he leans back, balancing a fresh mug of coffee on his belly, letting out a deep sigh.

“I fear I may burst if I eat another bite,” he huffs, his little tummy expanding as he takes a deep breath, “As usual, you’re too good to me, cream puff.”

“I told you, enough with the baking related pet names,” you laugh, leaning back with your own coffee. “I think we agreed on ‘honey’ last time, but I like ‘sweet girl’ too.”

“Sweet as honey,” Ezra smiles, “such a delectable name for the most captivating of women, for someone with such compassion for the most miserable, unfortunate man. Although…” he tilts his head so that he can look over at where you’re curled up on the couch, “perhaps I’m not so unfortunate, I count myself the luckiest man to have wandered into your particular bakery and then even to be allowed to call you ‘friend’.” His smile is soft, “How did a wretch like me stumble into such fortune?”

“There is that charmer that stole my heart,” you smile back at him, “I’ve missed you, Ezra.”

“I did not want to leave you last time, but you understand now why I told you the illusion had to break?” He puts his mug on the table and takes your hand across the couch as you scooch closer to him.

“I understand, but I hope you know now, that you don’t have to leave, and I don’t want you too… however…” you trail off, as the smell of his unwashed clothes reaches your nose again, “you need to shower, and change…”

Ezra looks down at his clothes and frowns, “I have nothing to change into, but I do agree that these old breeches are somewhat on the smelly side. The rogues that roughed me up made off with my bag and the clothes within.”

“Ezra, you should’ve said, we could’ve bought you something yesterday,” you say, pushing off the couch and going to the hallway closet that holds your winter jackets, “I’ve got an old oversized sweatshirt, a relic from an ex, if you don’t mind?” You hold up the sweater and Ezra shrugs.

“Beggars can’t be choosers, if it fits, I will gladly wear it.”

“I’ll put your clothes in the wash,” you dig deeper in the closet, “these will probably fit, my brother’s old shorts, they’ve got paint stains from when we painted the bedroom, but they’re clean, I promise.”

Ezra accepts the clothes and retreats to the bathroom as you clear up the breakfast. You hear him run a bath, and even the satisfied groan as he sinks into it, making you smile as you load the dishwasher. But the disgruntled growl doesn’t sound good a few minutes later so you gently tap on the closed door.

“You ok, Ezra?” you ask and a grumble floats through the door as something clatters to the floor.

“I find that washing my hair, which it is in dire need of, is impossible with the way this bruise seems determined to burn a hole in my side. I can’t lift my arm high enough. And I only have one of those, as you know.”

“Can I help? Are you decent?”

“Sweet girl, I have no concerns about being decent in front of you,” he huffs, “You’ve already been privy to my very lowest state. Besides, your bubble bath really is very efficient.”

The last thing he says with a chuckle and you open the door. You’re met with Ezra laying back, no, Ezra laying back in resplendence, in your bathtub, all but covered by bubbles and a satisfied grin on his face.

“This bathtub really is a most colossal feature, I feel like I could go for a swim,” he smiles up at you as you bend to pick up the shampoo bottle from the floor.

“I’m glad you’re enjoying it, it’s half the reason I bought the house,” you say, sinking down behind him, “Can’t believe you got me washing your hair too, Ezra,” you mutter, but there’s no venom and Ezra hears the smile in your voice.

“I’ll repay the favor tenfold once I’m all healed up again, honey,” he says and scoots forward, giving you free access to his dark curls.

He’s like a cat, all but purring as you scrub his hair, letting your nails drag across scalp, rinsing it out once and giving it another wash. As you massage his head he closes his eyes and breathes deeply, you’re certain he’ll start snoring any second, and you gently tap his shoulder for him to sit up for a second rinse.

“Conditioner, sir?” you ask him with a teasing tone, as he moans.

Ezra opens one eye and looks up at you, “Are you mocking me, baker girl?”

“Only your obvious attraction to the skill of my hands, your moans are loud enough for the neighbors to hear.”

“Oh, I’ve always been attracted to the skill of your hands, in more ways than one, and I’m sure I can think of other uses for them too,” he winks and closes his eye again, leaving you with burning cheeks as his double entendre makes heat rise in your body.

As you rinse the conditioner from his hair you brush it back from his forehead, running your fingers through the blonde patch, stark white now that it’s properly clean. On impulse you bend down and place a kiss to it as you move to get up.

“All done, sir, enjoy the rest of your bath now.”

His hand comes up and grabs your wrist, surprisingly fast for someone right handed using their left, and he pulls you back down.

“Thank you,” he says in a low voice, bringing you close enough for him to reach up and return your kiss, warm lips pressed against yours for a moment.

“Anytime, Ezra,” you reply when he pulls back a little, your voice barely a whisper. You lock eyes for a few seconds, Ezra’s chocolate brown darkening as he rubs his thumb over the thin skin of your wrist.

“Anytime, sweet girl,” he whispers back and lets you go.

You feel unsteady as you leave the bathroom, slowly letting out a long exhale as you go back to the living room, aimlessly tidying, moving three books from one end of the room and back again twice before you realize what you’re doing and give up. Slumping down on the couch you turn back to the nature documentary from last night and try to zone out, but it’s no use. As you hear Ezra come out of the bathroom you shoot up from the couch and head to the kitchen, doing what you always do to calm your mind; bake.

The rest of the day passes without any more heated moments between the two of you. Ezra rests his ankle and you feed him, he complains that he can’t help you in any way, but you shush him and prop an extra cushion under his leg. From the corner of your eye, you see the soft smile he gives you as you turn back to the kitchen.

When it’s time for dinner you join him on the couch for the Great British Bake Off, a show Ezra is well familiar with but he’s missed most of the past seasons so the evening ends with you going back through the seasons and starting over. Before you know it, you’re lying down, your toes tucked in under Ezra’s warm leg while he absentmindedly strokes small circles on your calf. The whole scene is so domestic, he looks calm, more relaxed than you’ve ever seen him. His whole face transforms as he laughs at the tv, looking over at you to see if you’re laughing too. And you are, but mostly because it feels good to see Ezra so comfortable and content.

When it’s time for bed, you scoot over and kiss his scruffy cheek, smelling your shampoo on him.

“Sleep tight, Ezra,” you mumble, relishing the soft touch of his beard against your lips.

“Sweet dreams, sweet girl,” he mumbles back, giving your leg an extra squeeze, “Do you want me to leave in the morning?”

“Not even a little bit, stay.”

“Then I won’t attempt to slip out unnoticed again,” he says, a crooked little smile at you as you straighten up.

“Please don’t, waking up when something goes bang in the night is not my favorite way of waking up,” you say, “Night, Ezra.”

He does stay, the next day and the next and the one after that. You go back to the bakery on the second day, leaving Ezra sleeping on the couch and come back to find him making dinner, wobbling one foot, chopping a stubborn onion with his left hand. The next day he’s done all the dishes and made your kitchen spotless. You berate him for not resting his ankle but he just shrugs and smiles, his soft southern lilt becoming more pronounced as he tries to charm you into believing that his foot is all better now. When you scold him, he gives you the most insincere puppy eyes, mischief lurking just under the surface until you crack and smack his arm and laugh at him. You almost kiss him, his infectious chuckle, the way his dimple appears as his eyes crinkle. The evenings end like the ones before, tucked in on the couch with The Great British Bake Off, but on the third evening you yawn widely and he pulls you in, his strength no match for yours.

“Rest your weary head on my leg, sweet girl,” he says, putting a cushion propped up against his thigh, “don’t stay so far away.”

You do as he says, and he pulls the quilt down over you and rests his hand on your arm. His slow movements, calloused fingers softly gliding up and down over the quilt, lulls you to sleep and it’s not until Ezra gently shakes you, that you blink awake to the end of the episode, and you stumble to bed after kissing his cheek.

The next day you come home to find Ezra packed up, what little he has, in a plastic bag by the door.

“I reckon I’ve imposed on you long enough, sweet girl,” he says as you question him, “I still limp, but I can walk now.”

“You’re not imposing, Ez, you know that,” you reply, putting down your shopping and stopping in front of him on the couch as he gets to his feet, “I want you to stay for as long as you want.”

He is moving a lot better, you can’t deny that, but the cuts and the bruises are still visible on his cheek and forehead. The bigger bruise on his torso has faded into yellows and greens and doesn’t seem to pain him anymore.

“And besides, where would you go?” you ask. You don’t want to be unkind, but pointing out the obvious flaw in his plan of just leaving seems logical. “Stay here at least until you have a place of your own, you know I won’t let you leave just to sleep in a shelter or in a car.”

“Sweet girl, how long would that endeavor not take me? I have no employment, no money to my name, and without it, I have no choice but to find improvised shelter. And finding a job without an address is not easy, finding a job for a one-armed man? Impossible.” He shakes his head and moves around you, “No, I’d rather leave now, and leave you missing my company than stay and have you tire of my disagreeable old face.”

As he limps towards the front door you feel the slow gears of your brain working until it clicks into place.

“Ezra! I have a job for you!”

He turns and looks back at you, a pitiful smile as he shakes his head.

“Do not make up a job for me. Your kind heart does you credit but I won’t accept any more charity from you, sweet girl.”

“It’s not a made up job, Ezra, I need help at the bakery,” you say, “The high school student who worked extra left for college last week, this weekend was my first without them and I hardly got any baking done. I can’t manage the bakery and the shop at the same time, especially not since I'm going into peak season with weddings and graduations. I need someone to work in the shop and you could do that, even one handed I’m sure.”

“I fear it would not do your business any good to have me at the front of your shop, or do you forget how I conned my way around the last time?” Ezra shakes his head again, turning towards the door to pick up his sad bag of belongings.

“And if there’s anyone who can charm his way back into their good books, it’s you!” you protest, yanking the bag out of his hand. “I need someone who can start tomorrow, someone who understands baking and the things I make, and who is as passionate about it as I am. You’re the perfect fit, Ezra!”

You take a step closer to him, putting your hand on his cheek. You haven’t touched since the kiss in the bathroom, it’s just been a comfortable closeness on the couch. He seems to have been holding back, not wanting to impose another layer of complications to the situation of a homeless man sleeping on your couch. You, on your hand, have been squashing your feelings and urges to touch him, not sure what he feels, if he even wants you close, he seemed so intent on leaving as soon as he could. But now you touch him, stepping over the thin line you’d both drawn, needing him to understand how much you want him to stay, not just for the bakery or out of pity for him.

And Ezra leans his head into your hand as you gently caress his cheek, the scruffy beard soft under your fingers, as he looks down at you, something shifting in him too as you come so close to him he can smell the cinnamon from the bakery in your hair.

“I want you to stay, Ezra. I missed you when you were gone, and I need you, not just in the bakery, but I need you in my life too, if you could let yourself believe that.”

“I’m a selfish man,” he mumbles, his hand coming up to rest on your waist, “I’ve been telling myself to not complicate your life, but if you offer it to me, I’ll take it.”

“Please, take it then, Ezra, I’m tired of trying to convince you that you’re worth something more, just take it, you-”

He cuts you off, his hand coming up to your cheek as his lips find yours, pushing you back against the wall with his body as your brain catches up, wrapping your arms around his neck, fingers finding purchase in his hair and kissing him back.

You sigh into his mouth when he makes you part your lips, claiming your tongue the same way you remember from the bakery, the feeling you’ve been dreaming about since he left. He groans softly, his hand slipping down from your neck and curling behind your back to hold you even closer.

“Tell me again, I want to hear you say it again, that you want me to stay,” he whispers, pulling back just a little and looking at you with his dark brown eyes, filled with need, darkening with lust as you press your mouth to his lips.

“Pigheaded fool,” you smile, “How many times do I have to say it? I want you to stay.”

His responding groan, his mouth opening to let you taste him, sends a sharp jolt of desire through your body. Turning off all rational parts of your mind, you reach behind you and take his hand, pulling him with you through the house. When lead him into your bedroom he falters, an uncharacteristic shyness, or maybe uncertainty, flashing across his face.

“Sweet girl…” he whispers as you pull him onto the bed, making him tumble over you as he loses his balance, “it’s…been so long.”

“Do you want to, Ezra?” you ask, as he holds himself over you on his one arm.

“Yes, very much, I have dreamed so many nights of taking you to bed,” he breathes, his voice low, laced with both trepidation and lust, “I just never surmised you would ever want me like this, and I’m not sure these old broken bones could ever give you the pleasure you deserve.”

“How about we try out your old broken bones and let me judge how much pleasure they give?” you tease him, running your hands down his back, still as broad and muscular as you remember. He chuckles at that, some of the tension slipping from his face as you continue to stroke his soft shirt, tangling your fingers in the curls at the back of his neck, and then back down to his waist again. He puts his forehead against yours, closing his eyes and you can feel his warm breath over your lips, a slow exhale as he relaxes under your palms.

When you slip your hands under the edge of his shirt and pull it off he hesitates, the stump of his arm has always been hidden by his clothes or the bubbles in the bathtub that one time, now you sense his unease again.

“Do you want to keep your shirt on?” you ask, letting go of the hem and resuming your path up and down his back.

“No, no I want to feel your skin against mine,” he mutters, “I’m just afraid…you might find it…repulsive.”

With gentle hands you take hold of his shirt again and push it up his torso, making him roll over onto his back as you pull it over his head, freeing both his arm and the scarred stump. Ezra watches you with dark eyes, apprehensive in a way you’ve never seen him before, watching your reaction as you lean down and place a soft kiss on the scar tissue that covers the end of his arm.

“I’m sorry you lost it, Ez, but I’m glad you’re still here,” you whisper, placing another kiss on the rough texture before his large, remaining, hand cups the back of your head and guides you up to his mouth, his hot tongue seeking yours.

Now it’s his turn to tug at your shirt and you slip it off, tossing it over the side of the bed, letting your bra go the same way. As you sit up, straddling his narrow hips, the apex of your thighs rubs over the growing hardness in his pants, he growls and grabs your hip, rolling his own up into you. You gasp and Ezra pulls himself upright, his eyes now fully dark, lust blown and all trace of hesitancy gone as he pulls your core down over his cock.

“Sweet girl, I’m determined to make you cry my name until your voice is hoarse,” he says, his voice rough and low with a layer of intensity you’ve never heard from him before, “I really have craved you so many nights, dreamt of having you unfold underneath me, make you moan so prettily in my ear again, like you did when I kissed you before.”

He cups your sex with his hand, bringing the heel down over your sensitive nerves, making you ride it through the denim of your jeans, as he buries his face in the crook of your neck. His mouth leaves heated, wet marks on your skin when he sucks bruises into your collar bone. Hand moving over the buttons, he peels down the zipper and you feel him slide down inside your pants, fingers meeting flesh as he ignores your underwear.

“What if I can make you cry ‘Ezra’ in that delicious moan, make you pant for me, with just my fingers buried in your cunt?” he growls, hot breath on your skin, “Will that prove me worthy of your devotion?”

“You-you…already a-are…” you gasp, his fingers slipping further down, thumb finding your swollen bundle of nerves, two of his thick fingers sliding deep inside and curling back. You feel him chuckle against your throat when you buck your hips, demanding more.

“Fuck, Ezra…” you moan, head tipping back, his beard scraping over your throat as he sucks another mark into the thin skin of your neck.

“Let me feel you fall, sweet girl,” he mutters, pulling back, his dark eyes finding yours half closed, blissed out, “So beautiful, captivating, my sweet girl.” He looks hungry, greedy, and he surges forward, seeking out your skin again. You feel his teeth nipping on the curve of your jaw as he curves his fingers deep inside you, finding a spot that sends stars through your veins. Your fingers dig into his broad shoulders, leaving fresh marks on his flesh as he brings you closer to the peak.

“My sweet girl,” he purrs, close to your ear, his thumb rubbing tight circles, “come for me, honey, I’ve got you.”

It topples you over, his dark voice tickling your mind into submission, your back arching, pushing down on his fingers as he brings you through it. You cry out his name, pant it into the dim room, and he licks his tongue over your sweat salt skin.

“Ezra…” you croak, dropping your head onto his shoulder as he slowly caresses your slick folds and pulls out, his sticky hand curving around your waist and landing on your back. It takes a few minutes for you to catch your breath, Ezra mumbles into your ear, his words wrapping around your brain, trapping them in the haze of your orgasm. When you turn your head and scrape your teeth over the thin skin of his neck, your tongue licking the edge of his ear, his breath hitches, interrupting his torrent of sweet nothings. Against your core you can feel his cock twitch, ignored and aching.

“Take your pants off,” he says, the command soft in his voice, “And take mine off too.”

It doesn’t take long for you to rid the both of you of the rest of your clothes. Ezra hisses as you pull his cock free, letting your hand stroke it, catching the weeping head with the pad of your thumb before you stand up.

“How do you want me, Ezra?” you ask, returning from the bathroom with a condom in your hand. He’s flat on his back, his hand slowly moving up and down his cock as he watches you walk naked across the room.

“On my lap, my symmetry is sorely lacking in balance, I fear I might give you a bloody nose if I was on top,” he smirks, moving himself to sit against the headboard, giving his thighs an invitational pat.

“Just admit it, you’re lazy,” you wink at him, “just want me to do all the work.”

He grabs your hip and pulls you down, his hard length pushed up against the soft swell of your belly, “Oh, sweet girl, if I had both my hands I’d trap you beneath me and not let you leave until you were a quivering mess, begging me to let you come,” he smirks, kissing you hard when you bend your head down to him.

He rolls his hips, giving friction to his cock pressed between you, and you feel him hiss into your mouth, groaning deep in his chest.

You push back and unwrap the condom, slipping it on while he watches your hands with dark eyes. When you rise up on your knees, his fingers dig into your hip, his teeth capturing his bottom lip, biting down hard with a groan as you position yourself. With one hand wrapped around his twitching length, the other on his shoulder for balance, you stroke the head through your slick folds, watching Ezra let go of his lip, an almost animal snarl escaping him.

“My sweet girl, honey…” he pants, opening his mouth to continue, but you sink down over him, squeezing his length, and he groans, a low rumbling pressed up through gritted teeth, head tipped back, eyes closed. You feel him buck his hips, his hand guiding your hip, as he tries to fuck up into you and you hold on to his shoulders with both hands, stroking down over his arms, caressing both his good side and the edge of what remains on the other.

Ezra curls his arm around your waist and pulls you down, bucking up again with another groan. He sits deep inside you, making sparks run through your veins, the feel of him giving you as much pleasure as his graveled groans and panting breath. .

“I’m not going to last,” he mumbles, biting his lip again, “I’m…you feel…f-feel so good.”

You roll your hips over him, your clit rubbing against the dark curls at the base, moaning as he bucks up, rubbing over something electric deep inside. The sight of his face tilted back, eyes half closed in bliss, as his arm sits like a vice around your waist, it brings you to the edge of your own climax much faster than anticipated. Your thighs are protesting, sweat drips down your back, and Ezra claims your mouth again, while you work yourself up and down over his slick cock.

He’s rambling, mumbling into your mouth between licks of his tongue, he’s getting messy, kissing the corner of your mouth, down your jaw, burying his face into the crook of your neck while he grinds against you. His teeth sink into your shoulder as he cries out, his body going rigid underneath you, a hoarse shout against your skin and your own climax explodes. You know you’re leaving marks on his skin, but you can’t let go, Ezra is rolling his hips up, pumping himself into you as best he can, pulling you down onto him.

As your muscles relax you feel him loosen his grip on you too, and you drop your head down on his shoulder, caressing his back, his arms, pressing slow kisses into his sweat damp skin.

“My sweet girl,” he mutters, kissing the mark he left on your shoulder, “my sweet, sweet girl,” heavy breaths still making his chest rise and fall as he pants.

You rake your fingers through his damp curls and lift yourself off him, helping him handle the condom and toss it. Ezra stretches out and you curl into his side, sighing deeply and closing your eyes.

“You’re not sleeping on the couch anymore,” you mumble into his chest, and you hear the chuckle rumble under you between deep breaths, still recovering.

“I’m sure we’ll figure out other usages for the couch if you intend to keep this up with my broken old bones,” he says, smiling, his eyes closed as he begins to caress what he can reach of your back.

You both lie in peaceful silence for a little while, your breathing returning to normal, and your bodies cooling down. When the air raises goosebumps on your skin, you pull the covers over you both, and Ezra makes you curl closer to him.

“You really don’t find it repulsive?” he asks after a while, and tilt your head to look up at him, you know what he’s referencing. His dark eyes are turned to you with a questioning look, the smallest hint of worry clouding his forehead.

“No, I really don’t,” you say, moving your hand so that you can caress the scars at the end of his severed arm, “It’s just skin, or proof that you’ve survived something very difficult, why would I find it repulsive? I’m very happy you survived it.

Ezra places his lips on your forehead, kissing you softly while his one good arm pulls you in tighter.

“Thank you.”

“There you go, Mrs Levinson, all set for the weekend, I envy your guests, you sure do spoil your grandchildren! But I know you would spoil me just as well if turned up on your doorstep like a stray dog.”

Ezra gives the elderly lady his warmest smile and a wink, mischief twinkling in his eye as she returns the wink.

“Ezra, you scoundrel,” she giggles, “you know you’re both always very welcome for dinner any day, and I’ll make sure to spoil you rotten.”

“Never would I be so uncouth as to impose such inconvenience on you, Mrs Levinson,” he replies, a hand on his chest in mock shock, “You should come to our house, I’ll cook my famous one armed bandit stew,” he grins and Mrs Levinson giggles again.

“Oh Ezra, you really do brighten my day, you’re such a treasure to have around,” she titters, collecting her shopping bags, “And I’ll be sure to take you up on that offer.”

“You’re too kind, Mrs Levinson, enjoy the rest of your day now, you hear!” he smiles as she gives him a wave and steps out through the front door.

Ezra turns and heads back into the kitchen, where you’re preparing the final batch of millionaire’s shortbread, sprinkling chopped peanuts over the melted chocolate.

“I may have invited Mrs Levinson for dinner,” he says, coming up behind you and wrapping his arm around your waist, “Said I’d make my stew.”

“I heard,” you reply, “your famous ‘one armed bandit stew’? You’re too much, Ez,” you laugh as Ezra chuckles.

“I did always have a flair for marketing,” he smirks, "maybe we should rename the bakery too, make it official.”

“Make it official that the scandalous baker and her ‘one armed bandit’ are in it for the long haul?” you ask, turning around so that you’re facing him and can see his warm smile as he looks down at you.

“Are we in it for the long haul, my sweet girl?” he replies, bending down to brush the strong curve of his nose across your check, pressing a small kiss to the corner of your mouth.

“Well, it’s been two years, and you haven’t tried leaving again, so I think I finally made you realize I want you around,” you mumble as he nudges your head to the side to make better rooms for his kisses.

“You’re stuck with me now, sweet girl,” he mutters, “do you regret it?”

“Not even a little,” you sigh, tangling your fingers into his soft curls and he chuckles.

The bell over the door jingles and Ezra straightens up.

“Go on, Ez, go charm another customer into buying more than they need.”

“Yes, boss,” he smirks, pressing a final quick kiss to your lips before he hurries back into the shop.

“Good afternoon, ma’am, how may I help you on this most beautiful day?”

Part Fifteen

Specifically tagging my Ezra mentor @morallyinept !

 @harriedandharassed @inept-the-magnificent @sheepdogchick3  @readingiskeepingmegoing @noisynightmarepoetry @survivingandenduring @vabeachazn @amyispxnk @oberynslady @vabeachazn @amyispxnk @thewiigers  

[almostfoxglove]

pedro pascal cinematic universe aus 18/?

the one where ezra is a wanted man. (insp)

[penvisions]

plumage {ezra x reader drabble}

Fandom: Prospect

Pairing: Ezra x F! Reader

Summary: You recall the courtship between you and the man you love.

Word Count: 520

Warnings: allusions to adult content, allusions to smut

A/N: the lovely @morallyinept requested this as part of my follower celebration! i hope it's a good lil blurb for fluffy ezra, he deserves good things. thank you so much for your kind words, ilysm! had a lot of fun writing this ♡

He hadn’t looked like much at first glance. His suit dirty and worn, the glass of it dirty and smudged.

But the second he had opened his plush lips, quirked up in a captivating smirk. You knew you wouldn’t have stood a chance.

He had a way with words, so uncommon for those who subjected themselves to harvesting. He had a grace about him so alluring for someone lacking a vital extremity. He had a yearning in his eyes as he regarded you, lighting up the muddy brown of them every time you found them aimed at you. Facets coming into play as they caught the light, caught the sun, caught the very emotions brimming from him.

The dance of offers, of equal work for equal pay, of time spent together. Letting you see all he had to give, to share, was willing to. Even if the reality of harvesting had been so different before meeting him, a dark spot of brown amidst the lush green of the planet. Time allowed for his colors to show, for his dance to feel intentional and specific to you.

His colors reveal soft lingering gazes, teasing smirks, melodious laughter. His colors reveal intentional touches, a mouth that was capable of winding you around his finger as he showed how his words weren’t empty platitudes. That he craved you in more ways than just one. With burning kisses that lit you up from the inside out, tracing fingers that held you reverently, the rocking of his strong body against your own.

His colors revealed a heart of good intentions, a mind quick and smart, a desire in him to work hard and earn his share of things.

From that endearing patch of blonde amid his dark curls, that smile he flashed, the glitter of his eyes to the admittance of being skilled in this line of work and having been saved previously by a child he had taken in as his own. Cared for and provided for, not allowing her to get into the same life as he had, to ensure she had the opportunity to have a childhood, even if it was a little late.

For all the man’s plumage, he certainly had captured your attention.

And while neither of you had a nest to return to, that didn’t stop you from creating one together.

Equal time and funds and effort from you both that had you opting out of a return to the green that you found each other in. The dangers of which didn’t seem so acceptable now that there was something to be lost…someone to be lost. Opting not to stray too far from each other now that your bond was so complete.

You recalled his first words to you, and you smiled over the twin mugs as you returned to your shared bed to find him sprawled out and tangled within the sheets. His eyes glittered as they spotted you, not yet clear of sleep. A lazy smile taking over his handsome features that were now all yours. He repeated them to you now, bringing forth a smile of your own.

“Well, hey there, pretty bird.”

[wannab-urs]

Ravage

Pairing: Ezra (Prospect) x f!Reader (in the role of Venetia)

Word Count: 1.6k

Summary: “Oh birdie… I could just eat you.” OR Saltburn-style hate as consumption

Warnings: Weird vibes, period/menstruation smut, bloodplay and blood consumption, weird classism stuff, biting, fingering, oral f!receiving

A/N: Inspired by, but not a one for one recreation of, the Saltburn vampire scene between Ollie and Venetia. It’s a little combo of both scenes between them that take place outside the mansion + some details I thought would make it more interesting. Oh and I skipped the ED stuff.  Thanks to @beskarandblasters and @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin for letting me yell about this fic

Ezra Masterlist | Main Masterlist | AO3 | Kofi

You’d left your room in a near daze, wandering the halls of your family’s estate barefoot and in your thin nightdress. A wraith speared through by the moonlight, flitting from corridor to corridor until you ended up outside. You settled on a bench just below the guest room window and gazed out toward the labyrinth. It felt, often, as if your mind were trapped in that hedge maze. Circling, wandering, endlessly lost. 

“Birdie?” 

You nearly topple off the bench, a scream getting tangled in your throat and falling in a pathetic whimper from your lips. 

“Fucking hell, you scared me.”

Ezra, your brother’s friend, steps out of the shadows. He pops his knee out and puts his hands on his hips, eyeing you. 

“Apologies, little bird. I feared you might be sleepwalking.” 

You give the man a withering glare. His way of speaking seems to come naturally to him, though from anyone else you’d swear it was some sort of performance. Perhaps a mockery of high society or the educated class. 

“I just wanted to look at the moon. It’s nearly full. You know what that means?” You turn your gaze to the sky and draw your bottom lip into your mouth. 

“Can’t say that I do. Enlighten me.” 

You flick your eyes to him without dropping your chin. “We’re all about to lose our minds.” 

Ezra stares at you a moment, the blonde patch in his hair nearly glowing in the light, and a deep chuckle suddenly bubbles from his chest. You join him in his laughter, even though you think he’s making fun of you. He goes quiet again, staring at you. 

“You must be cold,” he intones, stripping out of his plush robe – provided by your family, of course, so really it’s your robe. He’s nearly naked underneath, broad chest bared to the moonlight, bulge in his briefs at your eye level. 

“I’m coldblooded. We’re all coldblooded. Haven’t you noticed?” Your voice holds a note of disdain – for him or your family, you’re not sure – but you take the robe from him and wrap it around your bare shoulders. 

“Oh birdie, you’re not coldblooded. Your family has been more than generous to me.” Ezra drifts closer to you and you almost unconsciously part your thighs. 

“Sweet,” you whisper. 

“No one has ever ventured so far as to call me sweet, little bird.” Ezra saunters away from you, turns his back on you, and it feels somehow like a loss. 

“Real, then.” 

Ezra hums, moves behind the bench you’re sitting on and lets your back press against his naked torso. 

“You’re presumptuous,” you sneer, as if you hadn’t just been mourning the loss of his heat between your thighs. 

Ezra’s hand threads into your hair and tilts your head back as he bends to whisper in your ear, “And you are adorned in a transparent night dress just outside my window.” 

Your body shudders, in fear or arousal or both. “It’s– it’s my house. I can go wherever I want.” You try for defiant, but your voice shakes. 

“Oh, okay. And your desires led you to be in a transparent nightdress just outside my window?” He straightens again and pulls your body back into his. 

“I didn’t really think about it.” 

“Just a masochist, then.” It’s not a question. He moves slowly, almost predatory, until he’s settled on his knees in front of you. 

“Maybe,” you stare at the moon, refusing to look at him kneeling before you. 

He sits up on his knees, pinches your chin in his fingers and forces you to look at him. “Oh birdie… I could just eat you.” 

He grabs the hem of your nightdress and shoves it roughly up your thighs. You smack his hands, shoving the gown back over your legs. He pushes the hem up again, and you don’t stop him. Your hands grip the bench beside you. 

“Ezra. It’s– it’s not– it’s not the right time of the month,” you plead with him halfheartedly. You don’t want him to stop now. 

“Do you think that will hinder me?” He quirks an eyebrow at you, his hands gripping the meat of your thighs tightly. “How fortunate for you, birdie, that I am a vampire.” 

The tip of his middle finger swipes through your folds. You gasp sharply, but his hand is gone as quickly as it came. He holds his fingers up in the scant space between your faces. You feel trapped in his gaze as the pink tip of his tongue flicks against his shiny red finger. He traces your bottom lip with it and your mouth falls open. 

You’re trapped somewhere between disgust and awe. His finger plunders your mouth, smearing your own slick and blood on your tongue. His other hand snakes up your thigh, two fingers plunging into your slick heat while the fingers in your mouth hook your jaw. He shoves your head back until you’re looking directly above you, the robe falling from your shoulders. 

You’re hooked on him at both ends, unable to pull away even a fraction. You gasp and moan around his digits, pressed so far back in your throat you’re almost gagging on them. His thick fingers feel perfect inside you, gliding easily through your slick and blood. 

He drags your face to his, slotting your lips together. It’s not so much a kiss as Ezra trying to eat you alive. His right hand slips from your mouth and grips your hair. He drags your head backward even further, forcing your chest out and baring your throat to him. You are entirely at his mercy. His lips and teeth clatter down your neck. His tongue dips into the hollow of your throat, his teeth graze your collar bone, his lips close around your pulse point and he sucks hard enough to bruise. 

He jerks your head back up to stare into his eyes once again. “You got a little something there,” he whispers, his thumb dragging over your bloodstained chin. He has a feral glint in his eye. He looks every bit like a wild animal barely contained in the body of a man, and he’s on his knees before you. 

You almost laugh. Maybe you do laugh. He throws the hem of your nightgown over his head and buries his face between your thighs. He grips your hips tightly, pinning you to his face and keeping you from toppling completely off the bench. 

His tongue curls languidly through your folds, as if he’s trying to collect every bit of you and swallow it down. You grab his head through the sheer fabric of your dress and let yourself fall into the sensation. 

Two of his fingers slip easily into your cunt and his tongue finds your clit. He lathes your bud in steady circles, bringing you to the edge. You squeeze your eyes shut so tightly you see starbursts of color behind your lids. His fingers curl perfectly into your spongy walls and your eyes snap open as your body convulses in pleasure. 

Ezra quickly replaces his fingers with his tongue, your core spasming around the wet muscle. His hand, shiny with your own blood, slithers up your body, smearing red on your nightdress. His face remains buried in your cunt as his hand finds it’s way to your mouth. You should push them away, but you let him press the pads of his fingers against your tongue, let him fill you up with his spit and your slick and your blood. Your lips close around his digits and you suck them clean. 

He groans into your pussy before dragging his lips down your inner thigh. You can feel a wet trail where his mouth has been, skin tingling from his mustache. His teeth latch onto the sensitive flesh where your thigh meets your groin and you scream, the sound muffled by his fingers in your mouth. He almost certainly broke skin. 

He releases your flesh only to bite down again, slightly lower. You bite down on his fingers in return, splitting open the skin of his knuckles. You smooth the bite with your tongue as he finally drags his hand out of your mouth. 

Ezra places his left hand on the small of your back and brings his right back beneath your nightdress. You wish you could see more of him than the outline of his body between your thighs. 

His lips close on your clit at the same time he buries his fingers inside you, your blood combining with his inside you. He pumps his fingers deep inside you, so hard it feels like he’s trying to scoop out your insides. His blunt nails catch your front wall and you try to squirm away from him, crying out at the sharp sensation. He clutches you closer to him, catches your clit in his teeth and smooths the pads of his fingers over your agonized cunt. 

You are shockingly close to coming again, despite the pain radiating from your thigh. His tongue joins his fingers inside you and you bear down on him, his aquiline nose grinding into your clit. His nails dig into your back, pulling you even closer to his face, and you’re free falling. 

You cry out into the wet night air, feeling at once scattered in the breeze and held entirely in the grip of the man still between your legs. He rises slowly, releasing you. You nearly fall backward without the support of his strong hands on your body. You cling to the bench, chest heaving, panting breaths puffing mist into the air between you. 

The moonlight casts him in an eerie glow, but his face is almost entirely in shadow. He looks satisfied or disgusted, you can’t quite tell. He turns on his heel and saunters slowly back up the stairs, leaving you beneath his window. 

[alwaysmicado]

incomplete

2.2k | Ezra x gn!reader | one-shot

established relationship, negative body image, anxiety attack, emotional support Summary: Ezra has not been the same since losing his arm in the Green. When he suffers an anxiety attack, he reveals his biggest fear — not being enough for you. A/N: I love Ezra with all my heart and I can only imagine how difficult it must be to navigate life after losing an arm, especially in “ordinary” situations such as hugging the person he loves. I just had to give him reassurance and comfort. 🤍 masterlist | AO3

“It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.”

- Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, The Little Prince

The dim glow of the moonlight casts a soft illumination across the room, highlighting shadows that dance on the walls. The silence of the night is broken by a subtle sound — a muffled sob that echoes through the otherwise quiet hut. You lie on your cot, eyes wide open, unable to ignore the pattern that has emerged over the past few nights any longer.

Ezra, the enigmatic prospector you’ve come to recognize and admire for his strength and composure over the past year of your partnership, is struggling.

You can hear him pacing in the living area, a restless energy evident in each step. Occasionally, a stifled whimper escapes him, the weight of his emotions too much to contain. It’s a painful symphony of anxiety that unfolds behind the closed door.

As much as you want to respect his privacy, the concern gnaws at you, urging you to offer support. You slip out of your covers and put on your sweater, guided by the muted sounds emanating from your partner. The door creaks softly as you open it, revealing Ezra standing near the window, his silhouette framed by the moonlight. 

His gaze is fixed on the distant moon, his shoulders are hunched, and his hand grips the edge of the windowsill as if anchoring himself in a storm. His breathing is rapid, shallow, and you can see the distress in his eyes.

It’s clear that he’s in the midst of an anxiety attack.

You immediately move towards him, concern etching your features. “Ezra, hey, what’s going on?” Your voice is soft, trying to cut through the chaotic thoughts that might be racing through his mind.

He looks up at you, his eyes wide with panic, and it takes a moment for him to register your presence. “I–I don’t know,” he stammers, his words coming out in fragments. “It just–it hit me.”

You move to stand beside him, giving him some space while remaining close enough to offer comfort. “It’s okay, Ezra. I’m here. Take deep breaths with me, alright?” You model the slow, deliberate inhales and exhales, hoping he’ll follow suit.

He tries to mimic your breathing, but it’s clear that the anxiety has a tight grip on him. His chest rises and falls rapidly, and his attempts to regulate his breath are met with resistance.

“Focus on me, Ezra,” you encourage, gently placing a hand on his back to rub soothing circles into his strained muscles. “You’re safe here. Let’s try it together. In…and out.”

It takes a while, but gradually, his breathing starts to sync with yours. The rhythm becomes steadier, and you can feel some of the tension beginning to dissipate. Still, his eyes are wide with residual fear.

“Do you think you can tell me what triggered this?” you ask, your voice soft and understanding, sympathy evident in your eyes.

Ezra shakes his head and lifts his gaze to meet yours, struggling to find the words to properly convey the inner turmoil he is facing. “I don’t know,” he admits, his voice breaking. 

“Everything just felt...overwhelming. I couldn’t catch my breath for the life of me, and my mind started racing like a runaway train — thoughts careening in every direction. Images, memories, and possibilities colliding, creating a chaotic symphony of ideas that I struggled to make sense of.” 

You nod, recognizing the unpredictable nature of anxiety. “It’s alright, Ezra,” you coo. “Sometimes, our minds can play tricks on us and cause us to feel everything at once.” You continue tenderly rubbing his back. “What’s important is that you’re not alone, and I need you to know that you’re not alone.” 

Ezra takes another deep breath and nods weakly, the color slowly returning to his face. “I am truly sorry for disturbing your peace, sugar plum,” he mumbles, apologizing for something beyond his control.

“You don’t need to apologize,” you reassure him, a comforting smile gracing your lips. 

When you feel his muscles tense again, you can’t help but furrow your brow with worry. “Look at me, Ezra,” you prompt quietly, reaching out to gently place a hand on his arm. “Will you tell me what’s going on? I might be able to help, you know.”

You search his dark eyes and softly rub the skin beneath his shirt’s short sleeve. “But I need you to let me in.”

He looks out of the window again, avoiding your gaze, and you can see the remnants of dread in his eyes, vulnerability evident in the set of his shoulders.

“There’s nothing going on that needs to trouble that beautiful mind of yours, sugar plum. Just a rough night.” He shakes his head and glances at you, sensing that his attempt at deception, in this case for your own good, is not having its desired effect.

You know him too well, know the man behind the rugged, sly persona he’s been cultivating as a survival tactic. You know what’s hidden beneath, shielded from prying eyes, only revealed to the people who are worthy of his love and devotion — first Cee, now you. 

“Ezra, I’ve heard you. I’ve heard you pacing, and I’ve heard the tears. It’s not ‘nothing’.” You cup his cheek with your hand, your eyes boring into his. “You don’t have to hide from me.”

He takes a deep breath, the facade slipping away as he meets your eyes, his shoulders trembling slightly. He hesitates for a moment, as if searching for the right words. “I just–I cannot seem to shake this feeling, this overwhelming feeling of grief and hopelessness that is threatening to pull me down into the depths of darkness every time I am alone with my thoughts.”

You see the tears welling up in his eyes and feel your heart break in your chest. 

Ezra looks away, trying to contain the flood of emotions threatening to spill over. “I thought I could handle the memories floating around in my mind, memories of death, destruction, greed, loss. I honestly, truly thought I could move on with my life, be a better man for you and Cee, and lead an honorable life here in our community. On this stunning piece of land I am so fortunate to find myself on.”

He clenches his fist, and closes his eyes.

“But it is always there, always, always there. No matter what I do. No matter how hard I try. It is always lurking in the shadows of my existence, following me, holding me back.” He sighs deeply and opens his eyes to look at you, his brow furrowed. “I am haunted by the absence of my arm. I miss him deeply, in everything I do. And at night, when darkness takes over, when everything is quiet, it is all I can think about.

It’s a pain that goes beyond the physical, a yearning for a wholeness that seems elusive.”

He turns to face you fully, gently tracing your cheek with the back of his fingers. Your heart aches for him, understanding the weight of his words.

“I am broken beyond repair, my darling, and I cannot help but feel that you would be better off if I was go–”

Without a word, you wrap your arms around him, pulling him into a warm and reassuring embrace. Ezra hesitates for a moment, surprised by the sudden contact, but then he leans into the hug, allowing himself to be enveloped by the comfort you offer.

The room around you is silent, and all that can be heard is the subtle sound of his breath.

You can feel the tension in Ezra’s body as he wraps his arm around you, the heavy burden, the weight of his grief he’s been carrying alone all this time. Slowly, you start to sway gently, a rhythm that seems to soothe the troubled thoughts that linger in his mind. The embrace is tight but gentle, a silent reassurance that he’s not alone — and that you’re not going anywhere.

As you hold him, you sense a subtle shift in his demeanor. A quiver runs through his body, and you realize he’s starting to cry. It’s a quiet, almost imperceptible release of emotions that he's been holding back for too long. You tighten your grip, offering him a safe space to let go.

“You’re not alone in this, Ezra,” you whisper. “Losing a part of yourself is a profound loss and it’s okay to hurt. It’s okay to grieve. And you don’t have to be silent about it. I’m here for you.”

After a while, the tears subside, and you loosen your embrace just enough to look into his eyes with sincerity, keeping your hands on his shoulders. 

Ezra’s eyes glisten with hurt and uncertainty, something you’ve never seen in them before. You brush away a stray tear from his cheek, your touch gentle and calming. 

“I cannot adequately describe how much I despise myself for not being able to do this properly — the way you deserve, my precious sugar plum,” he murmurs, pain straining his voice. 

You tilt your head in confusion, unable to decipher what exactly he’s talking about. “What do you mean?” you ask softly, a reassuring smile prompting him to answer you.

“This,” he whispers as he pulls you closer, resting his forehead against yours with closed eyes. “I cannot help but think about how my missing arm, my incompleteness, prevents me from embracing you properly. You deserve the world, my darling, and I can’t even present you with a hug. You deserve a man who can hold you close and show you the love and affection you deserve, and I am truly sorry for having deprived you for so long.”

You pull away enough to look into his eyes again, anger now simmering beneath your skin. 

How dare this capable, intelligent, and loyal man entertain the notion that he deprived you of anything. Throughout your time together, all he’s done is take care of you, offering you a life teeming with adventure and love. It’s unfathomable that, even for a fleeting moment, he would think you’d be better off without him.

“I love you, Ezra, and I understand what you’re trying to say, I really do,” you say as calmly as possible, taking deep breaths. “But I need you to listen to me very carefully now because I need you to hear and understand every word. Can you do that?”

“Of course, my darling,” he answers with a nod. “You have my undivided attention.”

Your features soften as you witness the sad admiration in his gaze. “I can’t imagine how unimaginably traumatizing it must have been to lose your arm, having to adapt and relearn everything you knew how to do before. But you did it, you persevered. Because you are strong.”

You lift your hand to cup his cheek, causing him to lean into your touch immediately. “I have seen the incredible progress you’ve made since you and Cee arrived here and, Ezra, I’m so fucking proud of you.”

He looks at you, a mix of gratitude and disbelief in his eyes, a single tear making its way down his cheek.

“But I can’t even hug you. I can’t hold you like I want to, like I should be able to.”

You smile, reaching up to wipe away the tear. “Ezra, a hug is not just about arms. It’s about connection, about being close to someone. And in case you haven’t noticed, our hug right now is pretty perfect to me.”

He chuckles through a tear-streaked smile, a flicker of relief in his eyes. “You really think so, sugar plum?”

“I know so,” you affirm with a genuine smile on your lips. “Your worth isn’t determined by the number of limbs you have. It’s about the person you are, the heart you have, and the way you make people feel — what matters is this.”

You gently take his hand and guide it to your chest, so he can feel the steady rhythm of your heart beneath the fabric of your sweater. “You feel this?” He nods slowly as you put your hand on his chest to feel his heartbeat.

“You aren’t broken, my love. You’re human.”

Ezra takes a moment to absorb your words, and you can see a shift in his demeanor. The weight on his shoulders seems to lighten and you can see the spark in his beautiful, dark eyes return.

“You’re perfect just the way you are, Ezra,” you coo. “And if you ever feel the darkness pull at you again, try to remember that you have someone here who sees you, all of you, and thinks the absolute world of you.” 

He nods, his signature smile spreading across his face. “Thank you, my darling,” he says, his voice filled with gratitude.

You pull him back into your arms, holding him close once more.

In that moment, you both find solace in the simple act of being together. The room is filled with the quiet understanding that perfection isn’t about the absence of flaws but about embracing every part of oneself — scars and all.

“After all my time floating through this forsaken universe, searching for meaning,” he murmurs into your ear, a soft smile gracing his lips, “it turns out that love is the answer. Quite poetic, don’t you think?” —

[beefrobeefcal]

Sad Fish Blue Fish feat. Frankie & f!reader

Summary: Frankie's POV - what has he been up to while you rebuild your life?. Part 5 of There are Other Fish in the Sea

Pairing: Frankie, Ezra & Mouse | Rating: Explicit 18+ (MDNI) | Word Count: 3,170

Content Warnings: frankie learning the hard way, frankie wallowing in misery, discussion of sobriety, post-break up blues, swearing, poor coping mechanisms, toxic masculinity, fragile male egos, bad decisions made by men, mentions of blood, therapy, mentions of intoxication

Author's Notes: Frankie is a fuckboi. Will is once again a big floppy donkey dink. News at 11.

Thank you to @strang3lov3 and @noxturnalpascal for brainstorming this with me, and to @bitchesuntitled for their eyes and love.

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It hadn’t been fair. None of it. The way he’d treated you or the way you abandoned him. You didn’t even give him a chance to apologize, to explain! The way you looked at him, wounded, hurt, furious, scared, as Benny led you out of your shared home for the last time, it broke him. 

But he never thought that was the end. How could it be? You were his and he was yours. His chest felt hollow. 

Frankie saw Will after Benny had broken his nose for trying to force you back home with him. He heard through the grapevine that you had moved in with Benny and were rebuilding your life - but how could you rebuild it without him? Why would you do that when the life you had together just needed some reinforcement? How could you just declare it over and decide he wasn’t a part of your future anymore?

It was Santi who suggested Frankie needed help. Confronting him in the garage as Frankie drank countless beers while attempting to fix a broken headlight on his truck. The calm way Santi approached him with sad eyes, telling him that he couldn’t stand to see his brother lose more and do nothing about it. Frankie didn’t think he could say no, not at that moment anyway. 

Santi was the one who took him to a treatment centre and was also the one to pick him up 30-days later where Frankie emerged, sober. His yearning to show you he could do better had fueled him, the remorse and regret always under the surface, ready to derail any progress he made, but he was proud to have completed the program. 

He wasn’t sure what to expect when he got out, but being told by Benny to stay away from you, that you didn’t need his bullshit in your life and you deserved a clean break from him, he wasn’t ready for. Frankie’s already fragile heart broke into pieces as someone he thought was his best friend so cruelly ripped away his chance at getting you to come back home. 

The days were bearable. He could get through them because he was always with someone, Santi having moved in with him to keep him company and on the straight and narrow. Frankie went to work, to AA, to his therapist, to the grocery store, to Will’s house… but the nights. He was warned by his counselor in rehab that the nights would be the worst, and he would need to work on his coping and communication to get through them in the beginning.

He would lay awake in your formerly shared bed, covered in the sheets you had bought at a Black Friday sale a few years back that you were so proud of what a deal you’d snagged them on. He would stare at the ceiling, counting the glow in the dark stars you’d put up there when he’d broken his leg and couldn’t go on a camping trip with the guys. He would hear the wind chime you’d made out of seashells you brought home from the beach outside the bedroom window. Santi had suggested making some small changes, slowly getting rid of the ghost of your presence around the house, but Frankie refused. He wasn’t ready to let go of what little he had left of you, even if it was slowly eroding away his heart and adding to that hollowed-out feeling in his chest.

There wasn’t an inch of this home that wasn’t laced with the memory of you, and more often than not, Frankie would fall asleep with his eyes flooded with tears, grieving over your absence.

*****

“... and that’s why letting go has to come from you, not from her.”

Frankie looked up from his tattered cuticles at that. He liked his therapist, Martin, but this session had been rough. He’d finally admitted that maybe he needed to let go but said that he needed you to do it first. AlthoughMartin’s response wasn’t entirely unexpected, he still didn’t like it.

“No. I need her to - “

“She did that when she left, man.” Martin said, sympathy and understanding written all over his face. “You’re the one still holding on.”

Frankie scoffed, and looked away, jaw clenched. “No, she left but I fixed - “

“Listen to what you’re say -”

“No!”, Frankie boomed, anger and hurt boiling over. “No! I fixed what needed fixing an-and she - “, he sucked back an angry sob as his emotions overtook. “- she shouldn’t… she can’t do - no! I love her!”

Martin put his notebook and pen on the side table, leaned forward while offering a box of kleenex, and rested his elbows on his knees. “I know you love her. But we talked about this: a relationship needs both people on board. If one leaves, the other has to respect that.”

Frankie huffed and threw box of kleenex on the floor, then flopped back in his seat, muttering a fuck! under his breath. He rubbed his hands on his face, feeling overwhelmed and scared. Scared? Scared. He was scared. The reality of you and him actually being done was fully setting in and it terrified him. 

Martin reached forward and put a hand on Frankie’s knee. “Talk to me. What’s going on?”

Frankie let out a shaky breath, letting the grief and anguish and acceptance wash over him. “It’s really done, isn’t it?”

Martin nodded. The remainder of the session was spent on how Frankie could move forward now that he had accepted the truth of it. 

*****

He sat in front of his laptop, rereading his email to you. He’d managed to get your consent via Benny via Santi to send you one as a way to communicate with you, and taking Martin’s advice, he’d written a ‘letting go’ message to you. 

Mouse,

I’m writing to tell you that as much as I love you, you cannot come back. I am working towards sobriety and the clarity I have received in this pursuit helped me realize that you are not good for me. 

I know I am not blameless, and I am sorry for any hurt I caused you. But I need you to understand how much pain you caused me. I made a lot of unhealthy choices with you and while I know you did things out of love, they were harmful to me. I need a clean break. 

I am letting go and you should, too. 

Yours, 

Frankie

There wasn’t a word of truth in that message but he hit send anyways. He didn’t feel any better afterwards, but he did start taking down the glow in the dark stars.

*****

Kimberly, the receptionist at the garage he worked at, made eyes at him while he spoke to a customer about the muffler in his car that needed replacement. As he tried to focus on the customer’s questions about how long it would take or how much it would cost, he couldn’t stop himself from throwing glances at her. 

That’s all it took for Frankie to take the next step in letting you go. 

Kimberly was nothing like you. She was quieter and more subdued, with Frankie having to pull conversations out of her. Things didn’t flow naturally and Frankie tried to think if this is how it was for you and him when you first started dating too. Part of him knew he shouldn’t be comparing everything she did to how he thought you would, but he couldn’t help it. Even the first time they fucked, it didn’t feel the same and that hollow part of his chest seemed to grow everytime he was intimate with Kimberly. 

Santi had badgered him to make his relationship ‘Instagram official’ with a selfie and he reluctantly took a selfie with her at one of Will’s barbeques, slapping on his smile for a few and kissing Kimberly’s cheek for a few more. Santi had the final say in which one he posted - along with the caption calling her ‘Princess’ - while Will scowled at Frankie. Will had made it known that he didn’t think Frankie was trying hard enough to get you back, and he had been overtly and loudly critical of him. 

Everytime Will saw Frankie near Kimberly, he would give her a dirty look and speak to Frankie as if Kimberly wasn’t there. Despite her mentioning it to him, Frankie would tell her that Will was just upset because you were his cousin and he was taking the breakup hard. He didn’t want to admit that he didn’t have the spine to stand up to Will and tell him to back off. 

After three months of dating, Kimberly was the one to break it off, telling Frankie that she couldn’t compete with a memory and she didn’t think he was ready for a relationship with her. 

He didn’t fight to keep her because he knew she was right.

*****

A few weeks later, Frankie was at home on the back porch drinking a diet coke with Santi. A contemplative silence lingered between them, and Frankie could tell that Santi was debating something. Before he could ask him what he was thinking about, Santi spoke softly.

“I don’t think you’ve let her go.”

A pause, then Frankie responded. “I haven’t.”

Santi nodded and took a drink. “Will thinks you should -”

Frankie groaned out a sigh. “Fuck Will.”

“I know, but he is not letting this go. He - hermano, Will is determined that you and Mouse get back together -”

“Jesus!”, Frankie huffed out. “Everyone has an opinion on what we should do but no one has even bothered to ask what I want!”

Santi’s brows furrowed as he looked at him. “Okay… so what do you want?”

“I want to move on. I want to do right by her and let her go. I also want her to come back, and be mine again. I really want to go back in time and not fuck all of this up. Most of all I want her to be happy and I want to be happy…”, he rambled out, then sat back in his chair, groaning. “I wish I didn’t send that stupid email.”

“What email?”

Frankie knew he had to tell someone about the email he’d sent you; he hadn’t even told his therapist Martin about it yet. He’d read and reread it after sending it and he knew you’d received it, but you hadn’t responded, and he couldn’t blame you. He shouldn’t have sent it without having someone else read it beforehand - they would have told him it was a shitty message to send, placing way too much blame on you. He felt the hot, sick feeling of shame and anxiety wash over his body, making him feel nauseous, every time he thought about it. 

Frankie pulled out his phone and handed it to Santi, the message he’d sent you on the screen. Santi read it and Frankie saw the disappointment cross his face as he read the email. 

“What the fuck, Frankie?!”

*****

It was Thursday morning, and Frankie was on lunch when his phone buzzed in his pocket. A message from Will was on his home screen reading:

Mouse alone this wknd. Benny camping.

Frankie was tired. His eyes read the words and he knew what this was: it was a direct order from his commanding officer. He sigh and responded with:

Affirmative.

Frankie’s reply was promptly reacted to with a thumb’s up. He knew Will meant well, knowing that Will knew deep down this is what Frankie truly wanted, but something about it made him feel uneasy. 

That evening, Frankie drove down towards Benny’s apartment building, debating if this really was a good idea. He was so lost in thought, he almost missed seeing you walk into the corner store. Your hair was styled differently but he recognized it was you by your jacket and the way you walked. He frantically crossed the oncoming lane to turn into a parking lot, looking for a spot.

Once parked, he had to take a minute to calm down before he went into the store. Frankie knew he couldn’t approach you shaky and out of breath; he needed to be calm and collected, and at that moment he was anything but. His feet seemed to be working independently of the rest of him as they walked right into the store and his heart beat hard against the inside of his rib cage as he finally found the aisle you were in. 

You hadn’t noticed him yet and you looked serene. Content and at peace, something he hadn’t seen in so long, and he felt like his hollowed-out chest was cracking open at the ribs, a greedy gaping maw wanting to devour and absorb you, never letting you go again. You were casually looking at the label of a bottle of olive oil and you were sublime in doing so. He didn’t know what to say. He cleared his throat.

He regretted it as soon as he did it. The moment your eyes were on him, he watched your walls come up. That perfect casual beauty you carried when you didn’t know you were being watched was twisting into a withdrawn, defensive stare, squared directly at him. He watched you grow colder and closed off with each word that came out of him, like a brick wall slowly being reinforced. 

When you’d shoved your shopping basket into his chest and left the store in a hurry, he knew better than to chase you. He had watched you recede and he felt like he made a horrible mistake - he’d driven you away and lost you. He felt as if this was the final nail in the coffin. 

The sorrow and shame he felt began to morph into anger as he stormed out of the store and back to his truck. Will. This was Will’s fault. As he drove directly to Will’s house, his blind fury grew, all rationale leaving him as he slammed all blame solely on Will for this. 

Frankie barely parked his truck, leaving the driver’s side door open and the engine running, then barreled up to Will’s door. Before Will even had the door open all the way, Frankie shoved his way in, slamming Will against the wall. 

“YOU PIECE OF SHIT!”

*****

It had taken Will a lot longer to subdue Frankie than he would have thought, but he’d eventually managed to do so, gradually gaining the upper hand and pinning the larger man facedown on the floor. 

“You need to calm the fuck down, Morales!”, he barked, leaning down as he restrained Frankie. 

He struggled against the hold he was under, but finally relented. As he relaxed his body, the overwhelming sadness that hid behind his anger came pouring forth. Will could do nothing but release Frankie and watch him break down in his hallway. 

*****

Word travels fast. Before the end of the weekend Frankie had received a scathing voicemail from Benny, warning him to never approach you again like that and Santi had texted him ‘wtf were you thinking?’ in all caps. Both had broached this without him telling them a thing, so clearly you had told Benny and then the news traveled on. Frankie stayed hidden away in his room, tail between his legs.

A few weeks later in the evening, Frankie answered the door after a violent assault was levied on his doorbell. It was Will, seemingly returning the favour, and he was very worked up.

“Mouse has a lot of fucking nerve!”, he bellowed as he stomped into the house. “She fucking told me - ME!! - that I was the stubborn one! She wouldn’t even listen to me!”

Frankie had stepped back, slightly concerned with the wild look in Will’s eyes. “What? Why did you go see her? What happen -”

“She is so fucking selfish!”

Frankie’s eyes widened at Will. Sure, you could be hard-headed but selfish? 

“She doesn’t get it! Mouse doesn’t get what she’s done!”

He tried to interrupt Will, not wanting to hear anything more. He shook his head, trying to grab Will by the shoulders. 

“No! Fish, she wrecked the family! All she had to do was forgive you- that’s it! Just accept that you made a fucking mistake and grow the fuck u-”

“WILL!!”, Frankie boomed, gripping his shoulders and harshly slamming him against the wall behind him. “STOP IT!”

Will’s chest heaved and his red face skewed further in rage. Frankie knew that it was ironic in the most hypocritical way that he was the one telling Will to stop but he needed to know what happened and if you were okay before he could let his own temper take over. Before he could get another word out though, Will shoved him off and stormed back out the door. Frankie could only watch as Will’s car screeched away from the curb and down the street. He quickly grabbed his phone and called Benny, begging under his breath for him to pick up.

A few rings then voicemail.

A few rings then voicemail again.

And again.

The sixth time he called, Benny finally picked up and snarled “What, Fish?!”

“Is- Ben, is she okay?”

Benny let out a deep sigh on the other end of the line followed by a harsh, “She’s fine.”

Frankie swallowed hard; he didn’t believe that she was fine. He sucked back a sharp breath and asked again, ‘Is. She. Okay?”

“She’s fine, Fish!” Benny huffed. “She left to see Ez - her new boyfr- person.”

Frankie froze. He could feel the prickles and tingles of anxiety creep over his skin as Benny all but confirmed that you’d moved on and were with someone else. He didn’t know how long he stood in his open doorway, staring at the street with his phone to his ear when Benny called out, “Fish? Fish? Frankie! Frankie, you there??”

Frankie nervously cleared his throat and realized he was shaking. “Y-yeah… I’m here. Thanks, Ben… I- uh.. I gotta go.”

And he hung up. 

Santi came back to the house that night to the kitchen and living room turned over, looking like they’d been robbed, and speckles of blood strewn throughout. He’s been warned by Benny that Frankie might be in rough shape, and he grew more worried as he called out for Frankie, looking for him throughout every room. He finally looked down the hallway and saw light coming from under his bedroom door. He feared the worst as he approached and opened it.

Frankie was sitting on the floor leaning up against his bed, sobbing quietly as he held the glow in the dark stars in his bloody hands. 

*****

A month or so later, Frankie stumbled getting up off the couch as there was a frantic knocking at the front door. 

“Jesus Christ!”, he hissed as he banged his knee on the side table in his haste. “I’m coming, I’m coming!”

He ripped the door open, expecting to see anyone or anything other than what he did. 

You. 

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[frannyzooey]

In The Dark: 11

Ezra x f!Reader

Rating: Explicit

Series Masterlist

A/N: Thank you endlessly to both @mourningbirds1​ and @the-ginger-hedge-witch​ for helping me with this one - they both gave me endless reassurance and great advice, and I couldn’t have done it without them. ❤️

—

“This?”

You look up from the stack of used notebooks in your hands, glancing at the cover of the book Ezra’s holding. 

“No.”

He nods, placing it next to him before reaching for his beer, taking a long pull. He sets the bottle back down next to his thigh, reaching for the next book in the stack in front of him. 

“This one?”

You look up again, nodding. Watching him set that one into a box on his right, you make an internal face at how full it is already. 

“This?” 

You shake your head, and he places it just so in the discard pile. He picks up the next book, thumbing through the worn pages scribbled with ink in the margins and he flips it over, reading the back. 

Sitting on your floor, he’s bathed in a warm glow, a line of light from your lamp highlighting the curve of his nose and bringing to surface the rich brown blended into the darker strands of his hair. The light fades in its reach around his face, the whiskered cheek facing you darkened with shadow and when he absentmindedly reaches for his beer again, you watch the movement of his mouth, and the swallow of his throat.  Rain patters against the glass of the window in your living room, and the contrast between the bleak weather and the warmth of the room is cozy and comforting. 

“You can put that one in the donate pile,” you say, grabbing your phone from the floor. Ignoring the late hour listed on the screen, you swipe it open and switch the music in the room from Cat Power to “Modern Romance” by The Yeah Yeah Yeahs. 

He looks up at you with a grin, and you match it when you see his dimple, deep in his cheek. 

“Nice.”

The domesticity of the scene is littered all over the room: his shoes by the door, his jacket on the couch, takeout boxes on your coffee table. The book he’s reading (one he swiped from your stack the last time he was here) is on your kitchen table, one of your bookmarks keeping his spot. Street sounds waft through the glass underneath the thrum of the bass, the floors creaking above you as your neighbors shuffle around, and the two of you sit together on the floor, sorting.

He sets the book on top of the stack next to him, reaching for the next one and you go back to the notebooks in your hands, organizing them the same way. These are much harder to get rid of than books - the curled, filled pages holding thousands of words of your scrawled handwriting, and anything that holds a semblance of a story idea goes into one stack, while anything that has to do strictly with school goes into another. You open one, the aesthetics of the flowing black ink with the neat, blunt lines of bullet point highlighted text speaking directly to your soul and you admire the page for a moment before closing it, placing it in the keep pile.

“This one?”

He holds a romance book in his hand, and you laugh at the way he’s wiggling his eyebrows. 

“I mean, I should donate it……unless you wanna take it home?” you tease. 

“Oh, I’m taking all of these home, Birdie.” He turns the book to look at the summary on the back, reading it. “This one sounds filthy,” he murmurs. “I’m definitely gonna keep it.”

“You don’t have to bring them home,” you say, frowning. “I’ll find a place to drop them off. You don’t need to do that.”

“I don’t wanna give these away,” he answers, placing the book he’s holding down next to the rest of them. He picks up another one and flips through it, a look of affection stealing across his face at the sight of your haphazard lines, scrawled notes and highlights. He pauses for a moment, his voice quieting. “They have your writing in them.”

“My Birdie’s thoughts?” he continues, raising his eyebrows in question before closing his eyes and shaking his head. “Those belong only to me.”

You let your head tilt to the side, your face melting into a shy smile. Leaving your notebooks on the floor, you start to crawl towards him and he watches with amusement, his eyes darkening at the movement. 

“You’re insanely sweet, you know that?” you whisper when you get close, your mouth inches from his own and when he leans in for a kiss, you can taste the delicious, yeasty flavor of his beer on his tongue when you slip your own into his mouth. 

You deepen the kiss, your hand coming up to wrap around the nape of his neck and your fingers push through his cropped locks, silky under your touch. He hums, the deep sound shifting into a chuckle when you knock the stack of books over in your haste to climb into his lap and when you’re settled there, he pulls back, taking you in. 

“Does this mean we’re done for the night?” His hands find your waist, his eyes dragging up your torso to find your face. “Have we done enough work?”

Karen O’s voice filters through the boxes surrounding you, some already addressed with their international shipping address in his neat, all caps handwriting. Your thighs spread on his lap, you stretch in his hold and feel his hands glide down to your hips, the light scratch of his whiskered cheeks along the crevice of your breasts as he leans in to kiss you right over the neckline of your tank top. He places another on your collarbone, another along the slope of your neck when you lean into him and you nod, pressing a kiss to the tip of his nose. 

“Yea, we can be done. Lemme shower?” 

“Want some company?” His mouth molds around the hinge of your jaw, his tongue tasting the sweet flavor there and you melt, closing your eyes. His fingers inch up the hem of your shirt, his knuckles dragging slowly along the bare skin of your stomach. 

“No,” you sigh, nearly saying yes, but deciding you have something else in mind. “Go wait for me in bed.”

He pulls back, his eyebrows raising and you smile, cupping his face in your hands. 

“I’ll be right back,” you promise, brushing your mouth against his before standing and he watches you walk away from him, keeping his eyes on your ass until you turn out of his sight. 

–

You cherish it, while you can. 

The city slowly emerging from the bleak, gray winter, the sidewalks clear one day to stay clear, the buds on the trees bursting with delicate, new color. Your favorite place is the line of cherry blossoms along the Hudson; the worn benches underneath the reaching arch of branches the perfect place to read. The river seemed to glitter with newfound sun, the gentle waves sparkling in their ripple and it must be the relief of spring itself that made you see any sort of beauty in the murky brown waters of the Hudson River bay.

The sound of people had been muted all winter - their footsteps softened by the snow, or hid under the sound of slush splashing around tires - and the first time you’d heard a basketball pounding rhythmically on the concrete made you smile, as had the first early morning chirp of birds outside your window. 

Not that you had a ton of time to enjoy these things. The sounds of spring only reaching your ears between trips to the library, or around campus, or back and forth from school to home, you’ve been buried deep in your laptop and your books, only coming up for air when Ezra pulls you from the depths. 

Cee still hasn’t come around. Slow to trust, slow to forgive — you know she needs space, and so you let her have it. Head down as you walk to class, holing up in a different tucked away corner of the library, sticking to a coffee shop closer to your house. You imagine her spending her days the same — and sometimes you still have a fleeting urge to text her to commiserate, or bring her her favorite tea as a pick me up. The disappointment when you’re reminded of her absence weighs you down, but you understand it. And so you let it be. 

Ezra takes her place — not that he can take her place, but he takes up his own place. You’ve become something domesticated, something comfortable and you look forward to every single time he comes over. The secret thrill never wears off, and given the finite amount of time you have left in the city, he makes it his mission to show you all his favorite things. 

Revision until 9pm, then sushi across town. Researching all day Saturday, then a concert at a venue buried in the Bronx. That night you felt lighter than air: packed in a crowd of bodies, your sweat damp limbs winding around each other, just like you longed to do the night at The Library. His mouth dragged over your pulse point in front of everyone, pressed against the hinge of your jaw at the bar without a care in the world, and tasted the salt on your skin later that night when you brought him home. 

Spending the night when he can, you relish Sunday morning fucks —  the slow, syrupy kind that only intensify in sensation given the way you are each half asleep; your room cast in a blue wash as he drapes an arm over you, tucks you into the curl of his body and holds you in place as he slides into you from behind. Building and building, limbs tangling together in a humid embrace underneath your blanket, the solid weight of him presses you deep into the mattress with each stroke forward until the room is fully light and your expressions are slack and relaxed with release. 

Then coffee, while reading the paper in bed. 

Then breakfast, before venturing outside. 

Everything, while you’re here.

You both know what this is — a silent understanding of something momentary, something now, something you have to enjoy while you can. No rush to put words on it, because what would you say? This isn’t the thing where you get married, have kids. This isn’t the thing where you officially commit, right before you move halfway across the world for a year. 

This is the thing where it burns bright and intense for this moment in time — and then, when it runs out of oxygen, it gutters before going out. 

Sometimes you think these things, logic forcing its way through the rose colored haze that surrounds you in his presence — but then he looks at you and treats you the way he does, and you aren’t so sure. His fingers lacing with yours in public, his hand stroking the dip of your spine at the record store, his inability to go a day without talking to you on the phone. You want it to be more, you know that — but how? How could it be, when you’re leaving and you’re the age you are and he’s the age he is? 

The thought of asking the question makes apprehension settle in your gut, your body restless with nerves as you rinse the soap from your body, preparing to get out of the shower. In truth, you’ve thought about asking him for weeks now, but you don’t even know what you would say. You don’t know how to bring up the topic without sounding insecure and childish. 

Wait for me. Please. Even though I know you have a whole life without me and before me and you’re a grown man and that’s not a fair thing to ask. Wait for me. 

Or rather, tell me you’ll wait for me, without me having to ask. 

These things seem so unrealistic even through your yearning, that you press them down deep every time you see him, forcing yourself to be content with what you have. You want more, a solid answer defining what this is – but maybe you can’t do that right now. 

So right now, you’ll just cherish what you can, while you can. 

You step out of the shower, grabbing your towel and wiping the water from your limbs, you think about him in the other room. Him, waiting in there for you. Him, in your bed, staying the night. Him, choosing you — and the internal clock on your time left here ticks louder; your hand reaching for the tray of lipstick next to the mirror. 

Being with him has made you bolder, basking in the glow of his affection, love and guidance. Like he’s taken a piece of the confidence he holds within his being and gifted you with some of it, making you braver, more sure of yourself. 

Wiping the fog from the surface, you lean forward and start to line your fresh mouth with the dark shade; the color bold against your bare skin. You remember his face the first time you did this while he watched - the blatant want etched into his features, his eyes almost black with the truth. 

You finish up, capping the tube and when you’re done, you slip your robe on and open the door. Steam escaping into the hallway, you pad down to your bedroom and when you get there, you stop in the doorway, admiring the view.

He’s sitting with his back against your headboard, reading. One foot propped on the mattress, the other leg relaxed and extended, he’s wearing nothing but his black briefs and you soak in the image in front of you. An image that you only get for the next couple of weeks, but you push that from your mind as soon as it pops in, making your way over to him. Your hand curves over his shin, gliding up over his knee and the sparse hair on his thigh slips under your palm as you make your way up the lean muscle. 

He keeps his eyes on his book, though you can tell from the slight jump in his belly that he feels your touch. When you start to gingerly straddle his lap, he lets his foot slip down on the mattress to let his leg drop and give you space. 

Resting your plush seat on his thighs, you wait a beat and when he doesn’t look up at you, you tuck your fingertips underneath the waistband of his briefs, flicking your eyes back up to his face. The warmth of his skin presses against the back of your fingers, the trail of coarse hair from his navel leading down underneath the fabric brushing against them and you toy with the elastic band, waiting.

“What are you doing there, Birdie?” he murmurs, slowly turning the page.

You say nothing, pushing your fingers a little lower. You feel the base of his cock, stroking  featherlight against the thickness of it, just enough to see him twitch under the black cotton. He still doesn’t move.

“Excuse me, I’m re –” he starts in a stern tease, beginning to scold you when you reach up and pull the book from his hands, tossing it onto your floor. As soon as his hands are free, you lean into him, bracing yourself on his broad chest as you lean in and his hooded eyes immediately find the pout of your mouth, a small smile forming at the sight of your lips. His hands settle on your hips, tugging you closer. 

“It’s like you only want me for one thing,” he hums against your mouth right before you kiss him, and when you nod into the kiss, he smiles.

“Thank god.”

His hands sliding up your back to hold you in place, his kisses are immediately consuming. It’s like he gives them with his whole being, like he can’t get enough of your flavor, of the slide of your tongue, of the taste of your mouth on his and this one is no different, the heat between you rising as he sits up to meet you. When he tilts his head to deepen it, you have to hang onto his shoulders for purchase against his hunger. 

He tugs at the sash of your robe and you help him pull the knot open, his hands slipping under the thick fabric to push it off your shoulders and down and he groans softly into your mouth when he feels how soft your skin is from the shower. His tongue sliding deeper against yours, you open up for him, pressing your bare chest tight to his own and your fingers weave into his hair at the nape of his neck.

You’re so soft and pliant, your skin flush with warmth and he can’t stop mapping it with his hands; testing the weight of your breasts, thumbs stroking along the buttery soft sides. His hands splay broadly across your back, a weighted drag down your sides as you shuffle your knees closer and when you’re sitting directly on top of his cock, you can feel the heft of it slotted perfectly against where you need him. It makes you ache, knowing what it feels like he slides inside you and your hips grind down in a gentle circle; again, again. 

His hands drag down to cup your ass, his fingers spreading wide and the tips of them dig into you, guiding your movements on top of him. Pulling back from the kiss, you look down at his face as you cradle it in your hands and his lips are parted and kiss swollen, wet from your mouth. Your thumb presses into the divot of his bottom lip, and he kisses it. 

Looking at him for a moment, you take in the depth of his eyes - nearly black, in the dim light beside your bed. His dark brows, the lines surrounding his eyes, his mustache, his sparsely covered cheeks. Lower still, the pebbled line of his throat, the bob of it when he swallows as he sits under your gaze and you lean in for another kiss, pushing against his shoulders to force him back. 

Shifting your seat down his legs, you make sure he stays in place and when you start to tug his briefs down, he lets himself slip down low, taking you in with an amused look on his face. It’s not there for long though — not when you lean forward and give his hip an open mouthed kiss. And then another one, pressing against the soft slope of his belly. Another, your bottom lip pushing underneath the elastic. 

He lets a heavy breath out, letting his head tip back into your pillow, a low hum of want coming from his throat and though his pose is relaxed, you can feel the tension thrumming under his skin where your hand curves over the top of his thigh. 

He watches as you give him this. Not only this reward, but also this memory, and you hope he’ll hold it as tight as you will, because the way he’s looking at you right now will be burned into your mind forever. 

You shift lower still, working his briefs down around his thighs and then off, tossing them on the floor to join your robe and then continuing your kisses, you start at the inside of his knee. At the skim of your warm breath, he shifts his leg to the side, opening wider for you and your mouth travels up, your hand resting on the inside of his opposite thigh to hold him open. 

He is so warm, so fragrant, so soft when you rub your cheek along the buttery skin right before you kiss it, and you slide your hand up, circling his cock with your fingers. 

He lets out a low, pleased groan, his hips shifting on the bed as he bucks into your touch and it only takes a couple firm strokes to get him fully hard, waiting for your mouth. It’s close, your tongue laving at a patch of skin high on his thigh and when the heat of your breath gets to the base of his cock, he lets out a beautifully broken moan when you rest it there, pushing your lips against it in reverent kisses. 

“Put it in your mouth.”

The statement should sound more commanding, but it’s gentler than that, more like a murmured plea. Instead of doing what he asks though, your mouth molds around the delicate skin of his balls; your hand beginning to lazily stroke while you place another lingering kiss. He draws tight under your exploration, his fingers digging into the sheet by his hip and you lift the weight of them with your thumb, your tongue sliding along the seam on the underside. He hisses in pleasure, letting out a low curse. 

You come back up, letting your breasts drag along the inside of his thighs as you shift to place the rounded tip of his cock on your tongue and you stroke him more firmly, jerking him into the wet cavern of your mouth while he watches. 

There is always an arrogance to his expression that you love; to the way he holds himself. It’s something that radiates from his being for everyone to see, his confidence on unashamed display and even though you have him literally by the cock with his jaw slack as he takes in the lipstick smeared at the base of it, you can still feel him radiating control of the situation. Like you’re serving him right now, and he knows it. 

And fuck, it makes you wet. 

You wrap your lips around him, your tongue finding the dip just below the head and as you work it with your tongue, he bites his lip, arching his back. He groans again, deeper when you open up to slide your mouth halfway down his length and when you do it twice more, taking him deeper each time, his hand finds the back of your head, resting there. 

You’ve had other guys guide you like this before, and you hated it. Impatiently pushing you down further, making you gag because you weren’t ready when they forced themselves deeper, but there is something about the way that he does it that makes you burn bright with arousal, makes you moan around the weight of his cock. Maybe it’s the desperation in which he’s doing it, the inability to wait any longer until he feels the slick press of your throat. Or maybe it’s the way he’s starting to use you for his own pleasure, the knowledge of your reward coming as soon as he does. Like you feel so good he can’t stop himself. Like he needs you, just like you’ve always needed him. 

Whatever it is, your thighs press together as he thickens in your mouth, his hand cradling the base of your skull to push himself as deep as you’ll let him go and when you gag warm and wet, saliva flooding your mouth while a whine escapes with a heavy exhale out of your nose, he groans again, bucking into your mouth. 

“You always —,” he looks down at you, then lets his head tip back into the pillow as if you’re too much to look at. “The way you choke on it, I – fuck. Fuck.”

You pull back, wetness pooling around the corners of your mouth before you slide down to take him again and your hand pumps what you can’t fit in a slick, firm slide; your nails digging in the meat of his thigh before your hand slips down to cradle his balls, letting them press lightly against your palm. 

“I don’t wanna come in your mouth, Birdie. I —“ a hiss, when you mold your lips over the tip of his cock and suck. “I wanna fill that pussy up. I wanna see it soaked with me. I wanna make a mess.”

He is messy. He loves it — loves spitting on your soaked cunt before lapping it up, loves coming on your ass or your back or your stomach before rubbing it into your skin, loves to scoop it up with his fingers and push them into your mouth, or his own. Lube, saliva, sweat, come — your sheets are smeared with the evidence of his love when he leaves, and the only thing you don’t wash is the pillow. The one that smells like him. 

“Get up here. Please.”

You pull off and his hands are already greedily reaching for you, tugging you back up onto his lap. When he pulls you down to meet your mouth with his, you both can feel the wetness in your kiss, slick from sucking on him. It drives him wild, his kiss forcing your mouth open wider and your movements getting frantic, you reach down to guide him inside of you. 

He pushes home immediately, filling you with a smooth stroke forward and he swallows the puff of air you let out in surprise; his arm across your back to force you to stay in place. One hand across your lower back, the other wrapped under your arm to curl around the top of your shoulder and he starts to fuck you, your body bouncing lightly over him as you meet his every push. 

“No,” you moan, and his hold tightens, the hand on your lower back slipping down until his fingers push into the crevice of your ass to hold you there.

“Yes.” His hand moves lower, and you stiffen on top of him before melting into his touch when the pad of his finger brushes against the tight ring of muscle he finds. He fucks you harder, groaning as he feels it under his touch and your forearms brace on the pillow around his head as you clench down around him. God you want it, but you want something else. 

“No,” you repeat again, trying not to succumb to the way he overpowers you and you pull free from his hold, sitting up to take him deeper. This. This is what you wanted. This is what you want him to see, and miss.

Your back curves as you put yourself on display for him, and he automatically reaches for your breasts, the weight of them filling his hands. Your head tipped back, you can feel him knead and caress, map the smooth rounds with his calloused touch and his thumbs stroke your nipples, making them peak. 

“You look so fucking beautiful, Birdie.” His words bring your eyes back to his, and when you sit up straighter, he gets harder at the fleeting pinch of a frown over your features. He’s so deep like this, forced into you. You rock your hips again, adjusting until he slides smoothly and fills you just so. 

“You’re always so beautiful, but especially when you take my cock like this. When you ride it.” He watches you for a moment, the languid movement of your body on top of his lap. “Tell me how it feels. Tell me how you like to fuck yourself on it.”

“Oh god, I do. I –” you bite your lip, your tongue running along the plush skin and when he arches his hips underneath you, you moan. “I wanted it so bad today. Just like this.”

“Yea? Just like this?” He sits up with a cinch, his hand wrapping around the nape of your neck to hold you in place and you squirm, biting back a whine. 

“Did you think about how I would barely be able to fit it into this tight pussy?” he whispers into your ear. “About how even when you’re so wet - and fuck, you are, Birdie, you always are, just for me – about how even when you’re so wet, we have to work it in?”

“It’s in – oh my god, it’s in. It’s in and I’m – it’s gonna make me come. Ezra, you’re gonna make me come.”

Your hips roll faster against his, your body unconsciously chasing the high of what’s building inside you, and the low, strong pull of arousal intensifies into something firmer, something stronger, something you can taste with every downward stroke onto his lap. 

“Say it again. I want to hear it again, okay?”

“Oh God, Ezra – oh, I –,” words leave you, your mind unable to focus on anything but the soothing, intoxicating fill of his cock and he delivers a swat to your ass, bringing you back to him and pushing you closer to the edge. “Fuck.”

Your tits bounce in front of his face, his mouth watering as your hips work as hard as they can and your fingers dig painfully into the meat of his shoulders, holding on tight. 

“Ezra. Ezra,” his name a chant, your words punctuated with every push forward. “You’re gonna make me come. You Ezra. Only you. Only –”

You keen, his hold keeping you steady as you lean back and let your release wash through you and the tight fist of your cunt keeps squeezing him, locking up around him in a pulse. He wonders briefly if your heart would match the same rhythm if he were to place his palm against your chest right now. 

“Come here,” he groans, pulling you tight against his body and he wraps his arm around your waist, pushing you backwards into the bed. He settles on top of you, hooking your knees up over the crook of his elbows one at a time before he gives you the first, full push inside and using the weight of his body behind it, he fucks in deeper, groaning loud over your breathless moans. 

Your bed is a nest of blankets, the pillows pushed onto the floor, the two of you locked in a rhythmic embrace and the sound of his flesh meeting yours is just as filthy as the grunts he’s letting out as he pounds into you. 

“Fuck me,” you whine, clenching your teeth and he grins breathlessly for a moment, before picking up the pace. 

“Like this, Birdie? You want it like this?” He quickly sits back on his heels, his hands wrapping around the back of your knees to force them into your chest and when he starts fucking down into you, black creeps around the edges of your vision. 

He feels so strong, so big, so solid above you right now as he manhandles you into position to make you take his cock and when he tips his head back and groans something filthy, the last thing you see is the ripple of his muscles along his sides before you close your eyes, tipping over the edge again with a cry, just as he does.

“Shit. Shit.” 

His voice thick with awe, a guttural groan pours from his throat; rain sliding down the window pane by your bed. 

–

Fitting the key in the lock, Ezra lets himself in the front door of the house. He had spent the night, and left you this morning to your writing after leaving a plate of food and a glass of water on the table in front of the couch. Slipping on his shoes, he ran his hand over his mouth as he stepped outside onto the street and he could smell you in his mustache; the scent of you pressed into his skin after he woke you up this morning with his head under the covers. 

The memory of your moans and your sleepy smile still lingering in his mind, his movements are light and carefree, loose in a way only a sated man can be when he swipes up the pile of mail after dropping his keys onto the table by the door, and walking towards the kitchen, he thumbs through the mixture of envelopes, distracted. 

“Oh, hey.”

The sound of Cee’s voice makes him look up, stopping. “Hey.” The greeting is tentative, his face matching the tone.

“Where ya been?”

The way she phrases it comes out like she’s trying to be casual, but the words are too tight and he shifts his jaw, dropping the mail on the table before shrugging out of his jacket. He gives her a meaningful look, tilting his head to the side. 

She nods, turning to finish making her coffee. The silence in the room is heavy for a moment and without saying anything more, she grabs the cup and leaves the room. 

Ezra sighs, scrubbing his hand over the back of his neck before rolling his head on his shoulders, as if he’s trying to relieve a tension that only just entered his body. He fights against it, his body instantly restless. 

There has been this weight to the house, weeks of it, and he’s tried everything he can to broach the subject with her. Eventually resigning to an awkward, stilted arrangement where they both know where he’s spending his time, but neither one acknowledges it, he hates it. A very direct person by nature, especially when it comes to the things he wants, the avoidance pulls at his skin, especially in contrast from how it feels to be with you. 

His natural instinct would be to always talk it out, but it’s hard when the other person is the opposite. Attempting to be careful and considerate about her feelings, he hasn’t pushed too far but there is something about the peace he felt in your bed earlier this morning in comparison with how uncomfortable he feels in his own that pushes him to end this stand-off. 

Fuck it.

Steeling himself, he walks down the hallway and raps on her door with his knuckles.

“Hey,” he takes a step in, “can I talk to you?”

She slips her headphones off, leaving them around her neck. She looks so small sitting there on her bed, her hands wrapped around her mug and he waits until she pauses the music on her phone. Sitting down on the edge of her bed, he shifts a book to the side, making sure to keep her place. 

He takes a breath, then begins. 

“You know where I was, right?”

Her face betrays nothing, and she nods.

“I don’t –,” he starts, looking away from her. “I’m tired, Cee,” he sighs. His eyes close, his tense shoulders dropping before he leans forward, rubbing at the frown between his brows. 

“I’m tired of this.” He looks up at her, earnestly honest. “Aren’t you?”

She looks away from him, chastened.

“I know you don’t wanna talk about it. I know.” He shifts on his seat, facing her. “But I – I gotta just say what I’m going to say and you can sit there and listen to it, or you can ignore it, or you can talk to me.” He bends his head, his eyes catching hers. 

“I’m sorry. I’m…..sorry for a lot of things. For going behind your back, for hiding something from you, for saying – saying some of the things I said when you found out.”

Having set her mug down, she picks at the comforter underneath her crossed legs and he resists the urge to stop because she looks so much like a child right now. She isn’t, he reminds himself. The two of them should be on equal ground rather than the tilted scales of parent and child, and he pushes forward, wanting to be honest with her. Wanting to confess, to relieve the weight in these walls. 

“But I am not sorry that I did it.” To say he is would be a lie, and thinking of you, he can’t even bring himself to say the words. He wouldn’t mean them. He shakes his head slowly. “I’m not sorry about that part.”

“I'm sorry that you felt you needed to see her behind my back,” she says quietly, anger held in the words. Not looking at him, she continues. “That you feel you can’t see anyone because of me.”

His words come back to him, guilt flooding his chest as he remembers the way he shouted them at her and he looks down for a moment, ashamed. 

“I didn’t mean that. I didn’t mean – I was upset, and I shouldn’t have said that. It’s not true, that I don’t see anyone because of you.”

They sit in silence together, Ezra choosing his words carefully.

“I just —” he sighs, looking down at his hands, one rubbing the other in thought. “When you came to me, I tried so hard to put you first.”

Her head snaps up, eager to reassure him. “You did. I always felt like you did.“

He nods, agreeing. “I did. It’s been me and you for so long, you know? And I didn’t want you to feel like….left behind. Or forgotten, or neglected. I wanted you to know you had me.” 

He looks at her. “You come first. You’ve always come first. But I want this.” 

She continues looking at him, her face sliding from reluctant listening to sympathy and for a moment, she looks ashamed. 

“I don’t know why you didn’t just tell me? You’ve never lied to me. Ever.” 

He looks pained, his hand rubbing at the tattooed mark between his thumb and finger. 

“I think because I knew it was wrong? Because she’s so much younger, and —” he rubs his neck with his hand, “I don’t know. I think I knew you would be upset, but I didn’t want to stop. Selfish, I know.”

She thinks about how he cares for her — how he’s always cared for her, and how selfish would actually be the last word she’d describe him as. Maybe selfish with other people, definitely self interested at times, absolutely knows how to get what he wants when he wants it — but selfish, with her? Never. 

“I don’t — I don’t know. I get it, but it’s so uncomfortable now, knowing you’re…..sleeping together.”

He frowns, but nods. “Have you talked to her?”

She shakes her head. “No. I mean, she’s tried, but….”

He gives her a disappointed look, one heavily reminiscent of the ones he gave her when she was young. “You’re just gonna ice her out? Just gonna forget about her?”

“She’s leaving, so I guess it doesn’t really matter in the end.” She’s still angry, her jaw set as she bites out the words and he knows her well enough to see the mask over her vulnerability. He doesn’t say anything, letting her sit with what she just said and when she glances up at him, he sees a flash of shame before her face softens. 

“What are you gonna do? When she leaves?”

He lets out a heavy sigh, looking up at the ceiling for a moment. “I don’t know,” he says quietly. “Let her go, right?” He shrugs in resignation, sitting up straight. “Help her pack, drive her to the airport, and let her go. Same thing I would do with you.”

Cee frowns, looking away from him. 

“I’m sorry too,” she says eventually, pulling him from his thoughts. “I could have handled it all better, and……I didn’t.”

Avoiding his eyes, she continues. “I guess I was just — well, you know. I told you when we fought. Jealous. Hurt.” A pained expression passes over her features, and she shakes her head at herself. “I could have —“ she starts, abruptly stopping, letting out a deep exhale.

“Anyway,” she looks up, “I’m sorry.”

She does look sorry - genuinely sorry, even as she wrestles with the rest of her feelings and Ezra feels sympathy for her, for how she’s always been. Always a thinker, existing in her head as she navigates her feelings on her own time, feeling the need to push her insecurities deep down in order to keep a brave, uncaring face. Other people would be fooled, but not him. He’s seen her face enough to read it as clear as day; the apology she truly means for him, and the complex feelings she still has towards you. 

He’s lifted his mask, and even though she’s still partially wearing hers, at least it’s a start. 

“You’re fine.” His hand settles on her knee, squeezing it for a moment. “It’s fine.”

Knowing when to push and when to let her nurse her thoughts alone, he gives her one last look and stands from her bed. It’s then that she sees the small stack of books that were resting next to him. 

“What are those?” She bends forward, reaching to slide them closer and he turns, pausing on his way out. 

“Just something I grabbed for you. They were gonna be tossed, but I know how I can’t throw any possible treasures away.” He grins, and the corner of her mouth lifts in a small smile. “And I also know how you could never turn down a free book.”

She looks at the cover, a flicker of recognition on her face and she opens it, confirming when she sees your handwriting. She settles slowly back against her pillow, turning the pages, reading.

“I’m gonna shower,” Ezra says, watching her, “and then I’ll be in my work room, okay?” 

“Yea,” she responds, distracted. When he doesn’t say anything but continues to stand there, she looks up. 

“Yea, sounds good,” she replies with a short smile. 

He nods back at her, walking out into the hallway and as he takes the first deep breath he’s taken in weeks in his own home, she scoots down deeper into her bed; one hand reaching for her mug, the other holding the book open in her lap as she begins the first page.

[magpiepills]

Kill Shot

Rating: EXPLICIT 18+ only, MDNI

Pairing: Ezra x f reader

Word count: 10k

Summary: Alone on the green, you’re ambushed by a stranger. Defenseless, you have no choice but to put your trust in him.

I’m combining three parts into one. Sort of. It’s long. Take a break if you need to. This was originally posted 11/22/23. I’m rebuilding my masterlist, so feel free to skip this if you already saw it the first time.

Warnings: Smut, porn with plot, bit of angst? Oral (f receiving) fingering, weapons, minor violence, dubious consent, masturbation, pet names, homemade sex toy, butt stuff, unprotected PIV, oral, fingering, spitting, dirty talk, bondage, doubled penetration, misuse of valuable root pesrls, teasing, thigh riding, masturbation, etc., etc., so on and so forth. No use of y/n, I’ve tried to make sure the reader is not racially coded, and that physical descriptions are limited to the type of genitals the reader has.

A word from the author: well it’s here! My baby! The story I’ve wanted to write for months and worried over and dreamed of and wouldn’t be quiet about is done. I know tomorrow I’ll think of things I should have put in that I didn’t, that I’ll go back and find typos, that people may not like it, but this has made me happy. This is my birthday present to myself and this fic has been a very useful distraction from some pretty heavy things. I’ve got a soft spot for this fic. I have a soft spot for Ezra. I love him. I love Prospect. I loved getting to spend time there as I wrote. Many thanks to all my magic sluts for the love and encouragement and for reading this shit. I love you.

ACT I: Fool’s Gold

Maybe you should have taken your grandmother's advice. “Nothing out there for a girl on her own. Just trouble. Won’t be worth it.” She had said, shaking her head. You could hear the weariness in her voice even as she sat wringing her hands on another planet. You knew she was right. Nothing could stop you though, not when your mind was made up. You’re a stubborn woman in a long line of stubborn women, and both of you knew that no amount of good sense would keep you from sinking all of your savings into a second hand environmental suit, a new laser scalpel, and a deposit on a parcel class drop pod that looked like it may not make it past Central in the first place. You scavenged for the rest of the equipment, building a small cache of slurry packs, a few refreshers, enough chem to extract several cases worth of the rare gems you sought, and borrowed a thrower. It was folly at best, elaborate suicide at worst and most likely. But what was the saying? “No guts, no glory?” Maybe it was best not to think of your guts right now. Maybe “Nothing ventured, nothing gained” was more apt. It didn’t really matter now, anyway. Nothing mattered after his first words pierced the peaceful bubble of your harvest.

“Don’t move.”

You froze, knelt on the soft, damp earth. Your knees grew cold and wet, elbow deep in the shallow cavern where the aurelac spread below the surface. The raspy voice crackled through your ear piece, stilling your heart, slowing your blood.

You didn’t need to see the weapon to know what was pressed against the back of your neck. The weight of the metal held you in place. You closed your eyes, and resigned yourself to your fate, readying yourself to meet Kevva much more readily than you thought possible. You’d like to have fought back, but you couldn’t reach your own side arm, it lay uselessly next to your scalpel and the bottle of fazer that, tipped into the cavern below, would surely kill you both. “Don’t even think about going for that thrower, either.” The voice was so casual, threatening your life like he was reading the weather report. You did as he said, accepting defeat, hoping your life and your harvest was all he wanted. There are worse ways to die than choking on the dust. “Gooooood,” he purred, “Now lay on your belly. Don’t try anything.”

Again you obeyed, but before you were settled on the ground, his boot connected with your hip, sending you rolling to your back with a yelp. Before you could get your bearings, his boot was on your chest, enough weight behind it to hold you down, compressing your sternum uncomfortably. From this angle, you could appreciate how beautiful the green moon was, soft pinkish-blueish clouds diffusing across the sky where Bakhroma was setting. Dust floated up and for a while you could forget that it was poisonous. You stared up at the sky and the canopy of green until the sunlight on his rail gun caught your eye. You stared down the engraved barrel, waiting for him to shoot you, or worse. Whatever he was going to do, you wished he’d just do it.

You grabbed feebly at him, hoping that if you put up more of a fight he would do something or say something, but he didn’t. What was he waiting for? It was infuriating and terrifying to wait while a stranger decided what to do with your life. You wanted to yell, to tell him off, to beg, but when you finally looked at him, all the words escaped. His visor was scratched and pitted, his suit was ill fitting and dirty, but his eyes were big and sad and desperate. His lips were parted, as if he were as speechless as you were.

His aim faltered almost imperceptibly, and he furrowed his brow. “Looks like I’ve got a rabbit in my garden.” Your anger boiled back up and you dug your nails into his calf as best you could through his insulating layers. Your efforts were in vain and he chuckled. “Not a rabbit. A pussycat.” You wanted to scream. Finally he shifted his weight and moved his foot so that he was standing above you, straddling your hips, his grip in the thrower more relaxed. “What’s in the case, pussycat? Show me.” He tilted his head toward your aurelac case, only half filled with your spoils. “Go on. Let’s see what you’ve got. Easy.” He stepped back, giving you room to get up. You took your first full breath since his shadow first fell on you, then unlocked the case and shoved it toward him.

Eyes sparkling, he silently tabulated the value of your pull. You hoped he would just take the case and run, that would be the best case scenario. You could still get home, prove your grandmother right, lick your wounds, and find an honest job back on the Pug. Forget this disaster ever happened. Try to find another way to pay off the debt of the wrecked and destroyed pod.

“You harvest all this yourself?” He asked, and you weren’t able to determine what answer might be safest. Do you tell him you’re alone? Pretend you’ve got a whole crew waiting for you on the other side of the ridge? Before you could decide which tack to take, he continued. “Haven’t seen anyone in this sector in some time now. No landers, either. You’re alone, I reckon. You got a camp?” Resigned to whatever fate awaited you, you shook your head. You didn’t have a camp. You had a tent that you put up every night and took down every morning, counting on your impermanence to offer some safety. Fat lot of good that did. You chest was suddenly tight and tears welled in your eyes faster than you could blink them back. “It’s not safe out here for a girl on her own.” The irony of his warning did nothing to stem your crying. He looked away, out of disgust or pity or embarrassment for you, you didn’t know. You wished you could wipe your face.

After a humiliating moment, he spoke again. “Alright.” He gestured around at your meager equipment with the barrel of his thrower, “Get your kit. You’ll come with me.”

“No.” You said, not sounding half as sure of yourself as you’d hoped you would.

He raised his eyebrows at you and lifted the thrower again, careful not to point it right at you this time. “I wasn’t askin’, pussycat. You’re alone, you can harvest, and now you’re coming with me. This is the best case scenario for you. Move.”

The image of your scattered bones, covered in moss and ferns, little yellow flowers sprouting between your ribs flashed in your mind as you packed your things. All the things but the aurelac, which the man with the gun held onto.

He gestured toward an opening in the woods, “Ladies, first.” Chivalry is alive. You trudged in silence, following a path so lightly treaded you could barely see it.

The air was thicker, heavier with motes of poison dust than it seemed to be when you were alone. It gave you a sense of hopelessness and dread. A heaviness in your chest that you hadn’t known even when you found yourself lost in the dense forest. Your captor never fell out of step, always right behind you with his rail gun trained at your side, your case of aurelac banging against his leg as he picked carefully through the woods. He talked as he walked, introducing himself simply as “Ezra” and lamenting the dust, cursing his equipment, pointing out things in the landscape that were supposed to be of interest, but failed to pull you away from your singular focus of trying to remember your path. Your eyes darted around, looking for any anomaly in your surroundings, anything you could use to find your way back somehow. “Back when these hills were full of raiders…” his voice droned on, “There was a fella that went by Alam that used to…” on and on for what felt like hours while your skin itched under your wet clothes. “Here it is. Home, sweet home. Doesn’t look like much, but it is adequate for the savvy returner.”

Ezra stood before a tattered and faded tent, obscured by vegetation and dust that had collected along the seams. You would have walked right past it if he hadn’t guided you here. He unzipped and quickly ushered you inside with a hand on your back. Zipped back in, he turned on a space filter, it popped and whirred for a moment before Ezra began tossing aside his helmet and undoing the snaps and fasteners of his suit. He must have seen the panic on your face as he undressed. “You can take the cot on the right.” His voice was careful, and he turned away from you as he shrugged out of his suit, leaving him in a long sleeved white shirt and gray thermal pants that fit snugly to his legs. “There’s a refresher in the back if you want to clean up, and whatever you want for supper as long as it’s Pastors Henry.” Ezra smiled warmly and you nodded, acknowledging his hospitality without a word.

You sat on the creaking cot and removed your helmet, then rummaged through your pack for clean underclothes before closing the refresher curtain around yourself to finish undressing. You felt more naked than ever before, more vulnerable with only the curtain between you and your unwanted companion, but it did feel good to wash off the sweat and grime from your body and hair. You couldn’t remember the last time you’d been able to bathe without needing to hold your helmet and filter tube while you swabbed at yourself with a damp cloth.

When you emerged, fresh and dressed, you found Ezra sitting on his own cot with your aurelac case on his knee, admiring your haul with a small loupe.

He looked up and allowed himself only the quickest glance over your body before settling on your eyes. “This is excellent work. Near master level harvesting. Look. Nary an imperfection. Did you really do all this yourself?”

Without his helmet on, standing this close to him, you could hear him wheezing as he breathed. You could see the delicate curve of his nose and the silvery scar on his cheek, the shock of white in his uncombed hair above his temple that made him look right at home on the untamable moon.

“I did. Taught myself, wasn’t always so good.”

He passed you a pouch of slurry, bumping his own against yours before taking a hearty swig.

“What are you doing out here alone?”

“Same as you, I imagine. Trying to make my fortune before the BG line shuts down for good. Thought it was worth the risk. Thought I could make enough to spend the rest of my life on Lao. Thought wrong.” Your voice dropped and you studied your hands in your lap at the last sentence, embarrassed at the accusation against the man who was feeding you dinner and giving you a bed to sleep on, even if you didn’t have a choice in the matter.

“It’s dangerous out there.” He said, not for the first time. “There are still raiders, kips, only desperate men left now that the rush is past. And that’s only the men, Pussycat. Do you understand? I think we could help each other. I’ve got the equipment, the chem, and the weaponry. I just need your steady hand. I can keep you safe, girl. You’d be top hand. We could be rich.” You met his gaze, but didn’t speak, waiting for him to continue. “I know you don’t trust me. I wouldn’t trust me either, but I want you to consider my offer. An equal partnership for a limited engagement.”

It sounded too good to be true. If Ezra was willing to help you harvest, take care of the details so you could make the extractions and offer some protection, it might not be so bad to take one more risk.

The soothing cadence of his voice let you imagine the possibilities he was presenting. It lulled you, gave you time to study the thick vein on the side of his neck, the wide expanse of his shoulders, the strength of his thighs, and the thickness of his paddle-like hands. You didn't doubt he could protect you, but for a fraction of a second, you thought of other ways he might help a girl who was all alone. As quick as the thought came, you chided yourself. This man had just held you at gunpoint, he may yet kill you in your sleep. This was no time to think of meeting any needs but survival. Even if it had been a stand or two since you knew the comfort and pleasure of that particular human touch.

“Let me sleep on it. We can’t do anything tonight anyway.”

He nodded and hummed. Your lingering gaze hadn’t gotten past him. He knew the look well. He ran his hands slowly from his thighs to his knees, a casual thing, but he hoped to tap into whatever you’d seen when you’d let your eyes rove over him.

“A judicious measure. We will let it simmer and come back to it in daylight. I’m going to hit the refresher myself, I can’t be good company filthy as I am.”

•••••

In the narrow refresher stall, Ezra stripped off his clothes, eager to wash away the sticky layer of sweat that clung to him, anxious to run his hands over his body under the tepid stream of recycled water. He thought of you, how close he was to dispatching you, a lone prospector, until you were on your back and he was close enough to see a much bigger picture. His ship, his gems, a way off this forsaken moon. It seemed too easy, too perfect. And now? The unmistakable gleam in your eye added an extra layer to the whole scheme, an auspicious twist in his designs.

Following the trail of water running down his chest and belly, his hand found his cock half hard. He tipped his head back with a heavy sigh, and stroked himself. He thought of the fear in your eyes, thought of how easily you obeyed him, how your thin tank top did nothing to hide your pebbled nipples. He imagined you on your knees, or under him, the sounds you’d make for him when he filled you with his cock. Close to release, he squeezed the base of his cock hard, staving off his orgasm, letting the moment slip away. For so long he believed he might never see another woman. The green is all but abandoned, but even when the rush was at its peak women were scarce. The green moon is harsh and unforgiving, the poisonous atmosphere seemed suited only to the foolish, the reckless, and the criminal. Here you are through, not just on the moon, but in his tent, on his cot, and ripe for the taking.

•••••

While Ezra freshened up, you sat on the little cot, repacking your harvesting kit, making sure nothing was broken when you hastily packed. He hasn’t been unkind. Not really. You knew that prime territories on the green moon used to be fought over, and that people died when they harvested in someone else’s dig. You’d assumed that since the green was mostly abandoned now that would be a thing of the past, but maybe you’d been wrong. Could you really blame him for defending his claim? Maybe you’d have done the same thing if you were him. Your shoulders relaxed a bit. This could work, you thought. You hadn’t planned on having a partner, but if you were both lonesome out here and you could team up for mutual benefit, why not? And it didn’t hurt that he was handsome. You’d keep your guard up, of course, but what harm could come from an alliance?

If your mind wasn’t made up to accept his offer, it would have been when he stood at the end of the tent, bathed in the orange light of the singular lantern illuminating the small space. Wearing only a pair of snug black undershorts, he was a vision. In his suit he looked scrappy, but like this he looked more virile. Broad at his shoulders and narrow at his hips, he cut a fine figure. You didn’t mean to stare, but it was as if he had his own magnetic field drawing you in. Sheepishly he sat on his own cot. “I’ve only got the one set of clothes. Never bunked with a woman in the crew like this before, I hope you don’t mind.”

You shook your head and he leaned back on both hands, smiling. “I’ve got to wash my clothes,” he explained, “you might as well throw yours in too.”

You only had one spare set of clothes, the thin tank top and leggings you wore and the warmer set that you had under your suit. It could all use a wash. Before you could list the pros and cons of your actions, before you could consider the outcome if this didn’t go like you thought it might, you stood up. You fetched the first set of clothes, then hesitated only a second before taking off what you had on. “Might as well start with everything fresh.” You smiled at your new partner.

Ezra exhaled roughly, not hiding the way his eyes wandered over your naked body. You bundled all your clothes together, crossed the short distance to the other side of the tent. He watched you in silence, chest rising and falling, breath catching on every inhale, cock responding instantaneously. “Might as well.” He agreed. One pointed downward flick of your eyes had him stripping off his final layer of modesty as well.

The snap might have been audible. You couldn’t tell. It could have been his patience, or it could have been the saturation sensor on the air filter. Once his lips were on yours it didn’t really matter. His kiss was suffocating and urgent. He held you tight, right arm banded around your waist, trapping his hard cock between your bodies, wetting your stomach with the sticky fluid he wept. His left hand cradled the back of your head, holding you just how he wanted you, you were dizzy with his kiss.

You melted into his embrace, his scent, his sounds, his radiating heat. You let him guide you onto his cot, onto the blanket that smelled like him. “Ezra” you whined, needing him to give you something to meet an intangible need that was thrumming in your core.

“Mm.” He mouthed against your neck and ear, across your collarbone, scratching your skin, leaving a tender path where his lips had been. “What are the odds, little pussycat? What are the odds that I found you here? Maybe the last two people on this moon. All of time and space, and I’m here with you, pretty girl.”

His words made your face feel warm and your heart pound harder. They hung heavy in the air around you as he shifted down the little bed, propping himself on his elbows to cup your breasts, gently squeezing them in his warm palms. He licked and sucked at your nipples, marveling at how they hardened, shiny with his spit, he blew across them, sending a chill up your spine that made you arch up into him.

“A girl like you shouldn’t be here.” His words were whispered against your stomach as he sank down further, “need to be looked after.” He kissed and licked the tender skin below your belly button. “Need me to take care of you, don’t you?” His voice was so soft and hypnotic. Your eyes met and he didn’t drop your gaze as he kissed your mound, your thighs, making your breath hitch when his tongue dipped into your slit. Ezra groaned at the taste of you, at how wet you were, how pliant to his will.

“Ezra” was the only language you spoke, slurring it as you threaded your hand through his hair, stroking the little patch of white with your thumb while his own was slipping up and down through your folds, spreading your slick over every velvet ripple. You rolled your nipple between your fingers and felt as if you were being taken up a mountain, up and up and up he pushed you, each lick, each kiss a step closer to the peak, every breath and coo, every word of praise and pity brought you higher. His fingers found your entrance and pushed inside, making you cry out into the dim light of the stuffy tent.

Ezra watched with his cheek on your thigh as you rocked your hips against his hand, searching for release. He could do this thing all night, making you a boneless little mess, making you cry just for him, he liked the power. He wasn’t a cruel man, though, and he showed you how merciful he was when he returned the flat of his tongue to your clit then sucked the swollen bud between his lips and he curled his fingers inside you, sending you over the edge of unmatched pleasure.

Cum dripped over Ezra’s knuckles as he watched you ride out your orgasm, and he considered bringing his hand to your mouth to see if you’d lick it clean, but he thought better of it, wiping it on his blanket instead. Another time, he thought. How he would love to see your pretty face painted up with his seed.

•••••

“Do you think this was meant to happen, Ezra?” You asked him, nipping at his chin as he held you, tucked against his chest on your cot. “Were we destined to find each other out here?”

You felt his warm breath against your hair as he thought. “I think the stars aligned in our favor, and fortune is all but assured.”

Sleep came easily in Ezra’s strong arms, safe and secure, knowing tomorrow would be a new start.

ACT II: Wild and Woolly

Daylight didn’t look much different from night in Ezra’s tent. Light filtered in through the leaves of the trees and the accumulated dust just enough to let you know that the sun had risen. The soft orange glow isn’t what woke you, though.

It was the heavy weight on your back, hot and crushing, it wrapped around you as you slept half on your stomach. As your groggy mind filled in the details of the last day, you felt the weight shift and wheeze. Ezra. He wasn’t a dream. He was real and he was here and he was nearly on top of you. With every movement his grip around you tightened. One arm was under your neck, with a hand anchored to your shoulder, the other was around your waist, fingers tucked posessively into the front of your panties. You couldn’t tell if he was awake yet, so you stayed still, hoping he would stay just like this a while longer.

You grew wetter while you tried not to move, savoring the tension, feeling the firm length of him on your thigh, listening to his ragged breathing. It would take so little to just shift over a bit and let it rest between your thighs. Your mind wandered to distant times and places, places where the two of you had pulled every bit of aurelac from this miserable place, socked away a fortune beyond your wildest dreams, and lived together forever, indulging in every possible pleasure. You thought of how he might look with the juice of some exotic fruit dripping down his chin as you sat astride him, jewels even rarer than the ones you’d found all hung about your neck, his cock inside you, deep as he could get, drawing orgasm after shaking orgasm from each other on the plushest bed money could buy. Two hedonists, drunk on their spoils.

You imagined what his cock might look like. It felt heavy against you now, but was it thick? Was he uncut? What did he look like when he took it in his own hand? Would he look into your eyes while he worked his length with familiar strokes until he made himself come? Would he bite his lip or would he moan? The image you crafted of him with cum dribbling over his knuckles, onto the drab green of his environmental suit made you clench. Suddenly, seeing how he looked when he came was the most important thing you could think of. Damn the aurelac.

“What are you dreaming about?” He murmured against your neck, snapping you suddenly from your daydream. “It must be good, the way you’re twitching.” When you didn’t answer he rocked his hips into you. “Want to know what I dreamed about? Hm? I dreamed about a lake. It was dark and deep and I could feel it callin’ to me until I walked into it. I couldn’t swim though, and I was about to drown until I felt you bucking into me.” That hand that was slipped into your underwear was cupping your mound now, fingers flat against your slit, giving you enough pressure to let you know he knew exactly what he was doing to you, that devil. His lips brushed against your ear as he dropped his voice even lower, “What do you think it means?”

The tent was stifling. Too hot to think, too close to him. You stammered, unable to formulate any logical response. The question forgotten, Ezra pushed into you, grinding his cock harder against the plush of your ass as his hand slipped lower, dipping into your wet folds to spread your slick messily over your pussy, making circles with his flattened fingers. Twice he circled your entrance before returning to your throbbing clit, teasing you with the promise of more, making you whine and cant your hips into his touch before he pulled his hand back, sucking his wet fingers into his mouth with an exaggerated hum of satisfaction and smack of his lips. Obscenity was second nature to him, it seemed.

“Guess we will have to think on it. Get suited up. Time to go find our paydirt.” With a gentle smack to your ass with his wet hand, he stood and went about his routine, packing his kit, scrubbing filters, cleaning his rail gun, and fastening his helmet on. You watched as he busied himself, not daring to finish what he had started, even if you could feel your heart beating in your core.

Trudging back through the thick vegetation, you listened to Ezra breathe and murmur his promises to you. You walked a few paces ahead of him and he covered you from behind, admiring the way the curves of your ass and hips filled out your suit. They weren’t made for figures like yours, and he was grateful to get to watch how you strained against the thick material. He dreamed of peeling it back off you and memorizing your shape with his hands, that he might be able to remember how you felt one day after you’re gone, when he’s alone in the tent, fucking his hand and dreaming of the lost girl of the green.

For what felt like hours you trekked through the forest, dispassionately studying the moss, the ferns, the vines, the flora and fauna of this strange place with the poison dust that glittered all around you. You ambled along as Ezra prattled on about his crew, his ship, his trials and tribulations, exaggerated for dramatic effect you were sure. It didn’t matter, because you liked his voice. It was so rich and thick, and his inflection and cadence made everything so much more exciting. His foreign drawl was a viscous thing that washed over you, warmed you, disarmed you. It was an elixir he administered with practiced precision for maximum effect. He knew exactly the dose to put you under his spell.

When you make it to a small clearing, you see the telltale signs of an aurelac deposit, the earth just slightly raised in small clusters. Anyone with an untrained eye would have noticed nothing out of the ordinary, but you and Ezra spotted it immediately. Excitement hummed between you when your eyes met his, dark and shining.

“Look At this. Look at this!” He dragged out the last syllable, rocking back on his heels, he had to stop himself from diving in, extirpating the first heavy node on his own. He took a breath. You’d been cautious, moving slowly and quietly, checking your channels and covering your tracks as you hunted a nest of the fabled root pearls. It was easier to work with a partner, you had to admit. Alone you always had one eye out for danger, and both hands in the ground. Clearly your system wasn’t foolproof, as Ezra had managed to catch you unawares. It still stung to remember your failure. It hurt to know you really couldn’t do it on your own. How few cycles had it taken for this man to find you and take you for his own, to decide for you that you needed him? There was no time to rehash your mistakes, though. You’d wear them with pride.

Ezra paced, checking vantage points around you as you set up. He reminded you of a panther, with his eyes focused and his movements smooth and sure. Your body responded to him, breath quickening and pussy clenching around nothing. You watched and admired how easily he commanded this place that to you seemed untamable, unknowable, so liable to chew you up if it just had the chance. Ezra just made himself at home here. Determination took hold in your chest. Letting your hips sway more than was absolutely necessary, you went about your own unsophisticated routine for setting up your dig. Your laser scalpel, fazer, forceps, diffuser,and tray were arranged on the ground and you were ready.

At Ezra’s assurance that the way was clear, you began the intensive process of harvesting aurelac. First reaching into the ground and locating a node, then clicking on your scalpel to open its fibrous husk. Carefully, you dissolve the membrane inside, and feeling the weight of Ezra’s stare, you barely breathe as you excise the carrom blister- the trickiest part. These things never come away easily, necessitating a firm hand and a decisive slash. One slip of the hand here could compromise the pull. You can’t afford to waste precious time or ruin even the smallest Aurelac pearl. You didn’t need to be reminded that your ability here was the linchpin in the whole operation. Dousing the gem in fazer solution to finalize the process, holding up your bounty for Ezra to see. It was a beautiful specimen. Roughly the size of an egg, and glowing with amber flecks from within. A low whistle came over the radio. “That’s a decent pull, Pussycat. Very nice indeed. I think you better stow that one away for yourself. A little reward.”

Riding high on your first triumph, you tuck the gem in a small case and stash it on the arm pouch of your suit. Ezra’s praise stayed with you as you worked, not bothering to mute yourself so he could hear your panting and groaning as you worked. You knew he could hear you even if he couldn’t see you, and you could hear as he breathed. He was relatively silent for a while as you worked, quickly filling the first collection case and the second, and almost all of a third. The fertile nest had proven itself to be deep and generous. You tried hard to not add up what it all might be worth. It was a lot. A voice inside your head urged you to snap it all up and run. Take it all for yourself. Figure out your own way home. You could buy a space in steerage on any working ship. If you just had Ezra’s rail gun. If he didn’t see your trophy cases, if you could hide them out of sight until he was asleep, if you could get his gun…the plan wasn’t to be.

When he did speak, it nearly caught you by surprise. You were reaching deep into the ground, fingers stretching and fumbling for a bulb when he came across.

“I’m watching you, pussycat. Don’t think about runnin’. I’ll chase you and I’ll catch you every time. I know you haven’t forgotten our deal. I bet you haven’t forgotten how good I can treat you, either. How I’m going to take care of you. I bet you’re still wet from this morning.”

How could you not be? You’d been wet since before he was even awake, wetter when you could feel him watching the sway of your hips as you walked through the forest, and wetter still when your mind swam with dirty thoughts of him taking you right here on the ground.

“Of course.” You answered breathily, looking around to find him a little ways up the ridge to the west of you, his rail gun in one hand, and palming his cock through his suit.

“You tasted so good last night, I can still feel you on my lips, got me aching for more of you.” Your soft whimper in his earpiece egged him on. “Are you going to be good for me? Let me touch you again? You want to feel how hard you’ve got me? What a desperate man you’ve made of me?”

You could hear the way he was fighting to maintain composure and it ate away at your own ability to focus on your delicate work, the reason you were here in the first place. “I want to be good, Ezra.”

Had you been closer you could have seen the way his lip curled into a half smile, just this side of sinister. “Pack up. We’re done.”

By the time you’d gathered and hastily packed everything, Ezra was at your side, shouldering your pack and one of the cases while you took the others. You’d only started to walk back toward the tent when he stopped and turned toward you, tapping his visor against yours, finding your eyes in the dim light. “Follow me and stay close.” Your heart picked up at the change of plans. The twisted path he picked wound up and back down into a hollow in the hills. There, looking battered and abandoned, sat a small ship. It was an early model, a Testin Screamer that was popular back at the beginning of the rush. It looked like it belonged here in the verdant landscape.

The interior was cleaner than you expected, bright and tidy, with the cabin lights and filter in proper order, humming along like it could lift off with the flip of a switch and get you as far as the outer reaches of Spiria if you wanted, maybe further. Awe and confusion collided, giving way to your anxiety again. “Ezra what is this?” You were afraid to ask anything else, not wanting to hear any answers that didn’t suit you.

He didn’t answer at all, though. He just pulled off his helmet and the cumbersome filter rig he wore, dropping them on the floor, eager to get to you and divest you of the same. Your helmet first, then the zippers and snaps, heavy handed and without finesse he stripped you down, leaving you in your panties, suit crumpled around your ankles.

“Ezra” you tried again as he tugged his own zipper down, grunting into your neck as he kissed, hungry and wet from your shoulder to your ear, pinching softly at the side of your breast. He stopped only to free his arms, “My ship.” He finally explained as he stepped on your suit and pulled your legs free in turn before kicking his own aside. “Just needs a starter. All the works are in order, if we can trade some of our aurelac for the right part, we will be creamy. You and I.” He spoke tenderly and earnestly, smoothing your hair, leaving you no space to question, only to trust and abide.

Your partnership with Ezra, enigma that he was, seemed to be ordained. Your cooperation was irrelevant to Kevva’s designs. Ezra is here, you’ve got enough aurelac to give you a life of ease, and now, it seemed, you even had the ship that would take you to that life. It was intoxicating. His scent, the warmth of the air in the hull, the way his grip on your waist tightened as he sucked your stiff nipple into his mouth. It could be so easy to give in when he eased into a seat next to the beeping, humming control panel, pulling you against his chest, sticky with sweat. So easy when his cock was against your belly to just give yourself to him. Let him take what he wanted and sate himself. Something told you though, that he needed the chase. He’s a hunter. Too long without a challenge and he might grow restless and unpredictable. He needs a little fight to keep him sharp. The glimmer in his eyes, when you tried to twist out of his grasp was the confirmation.

“Don’t fight me, kitten.” He warned, pulling you tighter against him, squeezing and lifting to grind your mound against his length. “I can make this wholly enjoyable for you. Let me.” Clearly unsatisfied with your soft eyed silence, he brought his hand down on your ass, making you cry out, more from surprise than pain. Before the sting subsided he repositioned you so your slick cunt was against his thigh. “You want to come? Let me see you take it.”

You started with a timid roll of your hips, watching him watch you as you moved against him, spreading your arousal over his thick muscle. “That’s it. Make a mess. Filthy.” His fingertips dug into your hips as he guided you faster, harder against him. Ezra panted along with you, sweat dampening his hair and running down his neck. “Don’t stop. I know you just want to come. Come for me and I’ll give you what you really want.” He watched your face with parted lips and furrowed brow as you inched closer, rutting against him, desperate, grinding your clit with every backward motion. His hand moved to your breasts, plucked at your nipples, splayed over your chest, felt the pounding of your heart, moved to your neck, your jaw, where his thumb rested on your bottom lip, swiping over it until you opened and let him press it in against your tongue. As you sucked his thumb, the coil that had been winding low in your belly finally snapped. His thumb muffled your cry and his fingers tapped against your cheek.

Without a chance to catch your breath, he held out his hand to you. “Spit.” He looked at you expectantly. “Look at me, pussycat. Look how hard I am. This is because of you. Now, what are you going to do about it?” You let a pool of saliva drip onto his palm, and he spread it over his cock. It was every bit as big as you’d imagined, and beautiful, heavy and thick, foreskin sliding as he stroked himself, revealing a fat and leaking tip. “You’re going to be good and you’re going to get on your knees and help me get it good and wet. The wetter it is, the better it’s gonna feel in that tight cunt. Go on.”

Settled between his knees you couldn’t help but question how you’d gotten here. You felt as if you had been funneled straight to this wild, woolly, articulate man, still a mystery to you but joined now it seemed, the aurelac a contract between you, your alliance more than business. Here now, his throbbing turgid member in your hand, and him, smiling or smirking down at you as you licked lewdly, eyes half lidded, following the hard ridge onto the head where you swirled your tongue. When you worked him into your mouth you felt him jerk, whining softly. His taste was salty and mild, smooth on your tongue and nice. It felt right and good to suck his cock. You lost yourself in his pleasure, varying the speed and depth that you took him, cradling his balls in your palm. You didn’t look to see his face, you didn’t see him bare his teeth. You only felt him tensing and squirming, then his hand in your hair as he pulled you off of him and covered your mouth with his own, kissing you hungrily.

“Don’t get carried away. I’m going to fill you up,” he looked from your eyes to your swollen lips, “but not here.” The implication in the low rumble of his words silenced your mind. There was nothing there but him.

“Ezra.”

“I wanted to bide my time, be a gentleman for you.” Ezra laid you down on the floor, caging you in with his broad, silver scarred shoulders and his strong arms. “The instant I saw you I knew I had to have you, gentle girl. Knew you’d be what I needed.” He dragged the wide head of his cock over your folds, smearing your wetness over your puffy lips and teasing your clit before he lined himself up, but left you in agony as he refused to go any further. No, instead he shifted his knee up under your thigh so he could hold himself up and thumb slow circles over your clit. “I tried to be a good man.” It wasn’t enough. He was so close. He pressed into you a fraction of an inch and then retreated, giving you a delicious pressure but nothing to clench on. You cried and writhed, lifting your hips uselessly, trying to will him into you. Ezra just chuckled. “If you want mercy, you better beg.”

“Ezra!! Ezra, please! Fuck. Fuuuck! Please Ezra, just fuck me!”

“Shhhh.” He hushed you sympathetically, “You can have it.” In one smooth motion he was fully seated, pushing the air from your lungs with all his weight seemingly focused on spearing you. As deep as he could get, Ezra pulsed his hips, making sure you felt every bit of him before he drew back like a bow and plunged forward again, loving the sound you made as he filled you again. He set a slow pace, and you moaned softly at the stretch and fullness of him inside you. The way he dragged against your clit with every being of his hips. Your hands were restless, moving from his shoulder to his neck, up the back to grasp his short, tender curls. Impulsively, you pulled them and were rewarded with a much harder snap of his hips. The force of his movements pushed you up, a problem he remedied by dropping to his elbows, closing you in, holding you close to kiss your neck and breathe into your ear all that he had been consuming him. “Needed you.” He panted. “So good. Taking everything I give, let me do anything. Let me make you use you up…” He trailed off as his thrusts grew sloppy, his tempo uneven. All you could do under his heavy weight was hold on, his neck, his arms, whatever you could reach and your legs around his waist. You gave him one more fluttering orgasm around his cock before the wet sounds of your bodies and the moaning and panting slowly faded as he spilled inside you, filling you with his spend.

All was hazy as you drifted back to yourself. Ezra had stayed inside you, nuzzling you’d neck and jaw, kissing the side of your face. Getting off made him docile and sentimental.

“You don’t belong out here.” He reminded you again. “What if I hadn’t found you? Do you know what could happen to a woman in the green? One sweet like you? As pretty?” He shook his head in disgust.

“You did find me though, Ezra. You’re taking care of me. You found me and we found aurelac and now we just have to get off this moon. We can do what we like now. We never have to put on another helmet again. We never have to leave Lao if we don’t want to. We can swim,” you kissed his bottom lip, “we can eat.” You kissed his nose, “and we can fuck.”

Ezra nodded, sighing and releasing the tension from his shoulders.

That night you tucked yourselves into a bunk on the ship. The filter was better here, and the bed was a better fit for you both, though he still curled around you, tucking your body into his, letting you sleep soundly in his arms.

•••••

Morning on the ship was bright and clear, the sunlight streaming in from a large window above the control panel. You slept better than you had in ages, yawning and stretching and smiling to yourself. It took several blissful moments to register that you were alone.

You called softly for Ezra, hoping he would come if he heard the needy lilt in your voice. Hoped he would remember that you were warm and sleepy and naked in his bed. Hoped he’d come and show you how he thought you ought to be treated.

But he didn’t come.

And he wasn’t in the ship. Not in the cockpit, not in the small hold below.

Panic gripped you as you put on your suit, realizing his was gone and so was the rail gun. You realized that you hadn’t seen which compartment he had

Locked your aurelac in and that you didn’t have a key to open them anyway. Where had he stowed your kit?

Cursing him, you dashed out of the ship, eyes fixed on the swirling dust so you wouldn’t cry. The tent, you decided, was the first place to go. Your tent was there, you could take it maybe you could find Ezra and get your thrower back. Maybe he would be stupid enough to give it to you so you could shoot him. Your heart ached at the thought.

ACT III: Gut The Fencer

Blood rushed through your ears, pounding with your heart as you darted back up the little hill, not caring to cover your tracks. Let them find him! you thought. If you got to him first it wouldn’t matter. Your anger and rage gave way to humiliation and despair. You’d trusted him and you’d been had. What chance did you have now of ever getting back home? Ezra was gone. Gone the aurelac, gone your kit, soon you’d be gone too, one way or another.

You felt sorry for yourself. You thought of something else your grandmother used to say. “Broken hearts want broken necks.” It ached to think of her. You cried, unable to wipe away your tears, they dripped down your cheeks. Your pace slowed as you tried to follow the almost imperceptible desire path that had been made back toward Ezra’s tent. You had to watch your step, ever vigilant of the spore producers that could overwhelm your filter, the rocks and vines, the biting insects, the animals in the trees. So many threats lurked.

You were glad the BG line was shutting down. This Kevva forsaken moon was cursed. Everyone who came here was cursed. Nothing good was here. You kicked and shoved at the branches in your path and as if on cue, you snagged your boot on a vine and fell forward until you were abruptly snatched back up by your arm.

“What are you doing out here?” That familiar voice hissed. “Where are you going, pussycat? Where are you running with no thrower?” His voice was low, angry with a top note of suspicion. Jerking from his grip, your spun to face him, hurt and seething. “YOU left ME, Ezra! I don’t have a thrower because YOU took it. YOU took MY aurelac!” There was more to scream at him, but your voice was cracking so you charged at him instead. You could take out his knees, knock him down, disarm him, and dispatch him. That was the best plan. It was your only plan until your shoulder met his chest and he barely wavered. He just put an arm around you and dared to laugh. “Pussycat. I met with the Sater. They are early risers and I didn’t want to disturb you. I should have told you I was leaving. I apologize for the oversight.”

You softened against him, trying to work out if you should believe him or not.

“Why’d you meet the Sater?” It came out more accusatory than you meant. Ezra smiled at you, wide and boyish. “Let’s discuss this back on the ship. While we walk you can tell me where you were going to so fast that you nearly rolled down this ravine?” He took your hand and led you, looking back every few steps to watch with a sympathetic scowl as you told him how you were frightened when you woke up alone, how you thought he’d used you, abandoned you, left you to die.

By the time you made it back to the ship, apologies were made and re-made, vows to never leave you again sworn, and looks of devotion and care and desire exchanged.

nside the ship, your suits were stripped, his hands cupped your face and yours twisted in his soft undershirt.

Your back met the paneled wall as Ezra’s forehead fell

against yours, he lifted you and held you in place against him. “I’ve got to tell you. I wanted to wait until

It was all finished, but I can’t wait. I went to finalize an entente with the Sater. Our smallest gem for a starter that I can hot wire to this derelict ship. It won’t be long.” You were speechless. It was too good to be true. “Ezra…” you started, but he stopped you with a kiss. “You need to understand me now, Pussycat. I found you for a reason. I’m not keen to give you up. The aurelac is yours, this ship is yours, and you are mine.” He punctuated the last word with a firm push against your wet pussy, making you whine and rock your hips. “This pussy is mine. These tits are mine. Your hands, your mouth, all mine.” His cock swelled against your mound, more precum beading at the swollen head.

“You’re going to let me have you however I want, and I’m going to give you a little present.” You nodded, servile and soft for him.

He moved you back into the bunk where you woke up alone, and called you his sweet girl, his good girl, his only one. He kissed you and squeezed you, made you putty in his rough hands. Arousal dampening your panties so that they stuck to you, translucent, making you throb just to this side of discomfort. He sat up and pulled you across his lap, ass up, legs splayed. He murmured something unintelligible and loving caressed the back of your thighs, up over the swell of your ass, tugging your panties to wedge between your cheeks and pull taut against your aching pussy. Back down, he massaged you, everywhere but where you needed him most. Down your inner thighs, nudging against your puffy lips. As one hand made it’s way up your calf, the other kneaded your ass and inched down to tease at the wet fabric over your entrance.

Circling your ankle in his hand, he pulled your foot toward him, bringing your toes to his mouth and sucking two at a time, making you jump in surprise at the strange sensation. No one had ever done such a thing. It felt dirtier than anything else he had done. While he sucked and hummed around the little digits, his other hand played lazily with your pussy, smacking it gently through the wet fabric, pressing the saturated cotton into your folds to show every detail of your center. He finally turned loose of your foot, but returned his attention ten-fold back to your cunt. Both hands were on you, rubbing, pressing, massaging, smearing slick as he praised your obsequiousness.

You tried hard to keep your breathing steady, so worked up but with no relief, you pinched, pulled, rolled your nipples and keened, rolling your hips looking for more anything. Ezra answered your prayers with one more loud, stinging smack to your pussy.

“Are you ready for your present now? I think you are, if the way you’re soaking my leg is any indication.” You thought he might leave you, go get your gift, but he pulled a small case from under the pillow. An aurelac case. An odd gift considering the amount of aurelac you had struck, but you watched with curiosity as he slid the case in front of you, leaving you across his lap, adjusting his cock.

As expected, inside you found a small aurelac pearl. It was shiny, as if it had been polished and refined, making the reticulation of the amber inside sparkle. It was lovely. “Thank you, Ezra. It’s beautiful.” You twisted back to kiss him, but his eyes had darkened and he had begun running your through again. “Take it out.” He instructed. You carefully plucked the litttle gem from

The case and saw it had been carved. It looked like a spade, an objet d’art. You turned it in your hand, appreciating the fine detail of the shaping and the way the small stand at the bottom was shaped into a perfectly flat circle. It would be perfect on your desk. “Do you recognize it? That’s the first gem you harvested. The Sater are deeply religious, but they do undertake art as well. When you agreed to be mine, well, I couldn’t resist. And now you’ll have a little memento from this dig and from me. Wear it in good health, Pussycat.”

“Wear it?” Was it jewelry? “Ezra, I don’t understood. It’s very pretty though, very sweet of you. Thank you.” You reached for the box to tuck the gem away for safe keeping, but Ezra took it from your hand. “I’ll show you how you’re going to wear it for me. He closed the little sculpture in his hand, warming it as he resumed his ministrations. Sliding his fingers through your folds, brushing over your clit, teasing your entrance, he completed that circuit a few times while you rocked your hips slightly. On the last pass, he dragged a slick finger over your tighter hole. For the second time tonight he made you squirm. “Have you done this before?” He teased, and you shook your head. He dragged his middle finger through your folds and brought it up to join the first, pressing against your tight ring of muscle, you felt him move again, the rustle of fabric, and the snap of a lid. Unable to see what he was doing you could only guess what he was doing.

Soon enough the answer came in the form of a drip of cool liquid. It dripped down, mixing with your own arousal. Ezra spread it around and slowly, determinedly pressed the tip of his finger into your ass. You whined, he soothed you with his soft voice, his free hand rubbing your back gently as he worked. You weren’t aware of the effect it was having on him to be the first one to explore you this way, to have you so wrapped around his finger that you didn’t protest at all as he readied you for the next step. Adding more of the liquid and twisting his finger before joining it with another, the stretch was foreign and new, not exactly uncomfortable, your body seemed to adjust to each new thing he introduced, something you pondered on as he pressed further, sliding the two fingers in and out gently, shallowly, as he thumbed your clit. Your pussy ached for attention.

When Ezra decided you were ready, he positioned the aurelac where his fingers had been inside you, gave a few testing presses, added more liquid, and set to work, pressing, twisting, easing the gem into your asshole as you whined and whimpered, until it was settled, just the wide base remaining. Ezra admired his handiwork. “You’re a marvel. How’s it feel? Big?” You nod, “Yeah, Ez. Big. Full.” Ezra pressed on the little toy, watching with glee as it sank in.

He rolled you carefully to your back, soaking in your naked body, spread out and open for him, and him alone. He bent to kiss and suck at your nipples, up your chest, and licked into your mouth, kissing you deeply, with more passion than you’d ever experienced. The kind you thought existed only in movies. But here he was, so giving and tender, so mad for you and your body, so eager to give and take. You were breathless, both of you when he pulled away, searching your face, staring at your lips. “Open up.” You obeyed. “Stick out your tongue.” You were unsure, but you obeyed. Grinning, he spit onto your tongue. Your eyes went wide as it dripped to the back of your tongue. “Don’t swallow it. Leave it right there while I take more of what’s mine.” You could only nod, breathing hard through your nose as he dragged his cock through your folds, smacking the head against your clit for good measure before easing into your pussy, aware of how much tighter you were, how sensitive you were with your aurelac in place. He moaned, feeling his cock rub against that defiled gem while he fucked your cunt. Slow and easy, gentle, he rocked back and forth, listening to your cries and moans, knowing you couldn’t make the noise you wanted to with his spit in your mouth. “Swallow it.”

Watching you follow his every instruction without question, a toy for him made him hard like never before. He fucked into you faster, spurred on by your uninhibited sounds. He slid his hand between your bodies to tend to your clit, giving you the last little push you needed to come. “Yes! Yes!” You squealed, bucking your hips, squeezing your tits, reaching the highest height you could imagine. You were hot and cold, boneless and rigid, you were nothing until he was inside you. Ezra hadn’t stopped his own pursuit, just slowed until you settled, but now he was on the hunt again, bouncing your ties with every thrust, making wet, sticky sounds fill the air with his sneer. Remembering last night, you reached up and took a handful of his hair, pulling him down to kiss you, never letting go until he was coming with a strangled shout, leaving you dripping his cum. It was exhausting to love Ezra. Terrifying to admit that you loved him. Such a short time in the grand scheme, a tiny tick on the timeline of what would be the rest of your lives together.

You tangled your limbs together, holding each other, whispering sweet things, kissing for a long while until he sat up. “I’ve got one more thing for you, pussycat. Do you trust me?” You promised that you did and he left, rummaged a minute before returning, holding a short length of rope. He climbed in above you and kissed you again, the sort of kiss you wanted to feel forever on your lips. “I want to tie you up. Are you going to let me?” Happy to please him, you held out your wrists. He kissed each one, and crossed one over the other, thing an intricate knot that looked like a bow. You liked being a little gift for him. “One more thing.” He whispered, and ducked out while you waited for his return, eager to see what he had in store, wiggling to feel his gift inside you. You heard movement, and opened your eyes, expecting Ezra, but seeing a figure in black, a Sater. You screamed for Ezra to come save you, but he stepped into view with his hand on the sater’s shoulder, starter in his hand. “You really shouldn’t trust anyone out here, Pussycat.

[boredzillenial]

Day 8: of @flightlessangelwings fawktober!!

You and Ezra keep warm on the journey home

Theme: “cuddle for warmth”, f!reader, sass, cockwarming (pinv)

A.N.: not beta read, apologies life is getting a bit hectic so this fox isn’t as long as I was hoping for but I hope y’all still enjoy ☺️

You’d forgotten how cold space could get. After far too long on that godforsaken planet you’d managed to convince Ezra your jobs were done and that you both could leave. However once your ship had left the atmosphere you quickly realized something had gone wrong and the heating system was barely working.

“D-damn it.” You growl as you shiver. “S-shoulda known something would go w-wrong.” Your anger roiled in your belly as you kicked yourself for not double checking the system before you left the ground. You’d worked for nearly 24 hours straight getting the ship ready and were exhausted. The dark circles under your eyes mirror Ezra’s as he’d worked to get everything loaded and accounted for.

“Hey could be worse.” Ezra twanged as he smirked, “could have cold company.”

“What the f-fuck does that mean.” You bite as your teeth chatter, he knew damn well there was nothing you hated more than being cold and tired.

“I mean I’m over here, and you’re way over there. We could be sharing body heat…” a mischievous twinkle lit his gaze despite the exhaustion as a shiver racked through him as well. “But I know you’d probably rather slit your throat then cuddle up.”

“T-try m-me.” You raised your brows and clenched your jaw as you tried to keep your teeth from chattering.

“Really now?” A brow of his own quirked up. “C’Mon then no use is being coy about it.” He pulled himself up and walked towards the sleeping quarters, you quickly followed suit.

Though you were just behind him he was already stripping his clothes off as he walked. You slowed a bit, admiring the contours and curves across his back. You gulped when he pulled his pants off and you nearly walked right into his naked form. “Come on, less clothes means quicker heat.” He got under the covers of one of the beds and waited for you to join.

Between the intense shivering and the weight of his gaze it took you longer to strip and get under the covers. You could immediately feel the heat radiating off him. Another shiver shook through you as you settled in. “Come here.” His calloused hand stroked across your hip and pulled you flush against him. You fought the surprised noise in your throat as you felt his thick erection press against your abdomen. “Now are you gonna let me really warm ya up?” He nuzzled his nose against yours as he grinned.

A familiar fire burned low in your belly at the offer as you nodded slowly. He shifted lower and hiked your leg over his hip the motion slotting him right at your entrance. His eyes met yours, waiting for your response. You nodded once, looking down where you met and bit back a whimper as he sunk into you.

“There we go, here-“ he held you tight as he rolled, keeping you connected as he moved onto his back. “You just relax.” He sighed. You laid your head on his chest and tried to keep your breathing even as you adjusted to him fully seated inside you.

Shifting you pressed your forehead against his chest as you shifted your hips, desperate for any friction against your bud. Ezra let out a breathy laugh as he heard you mewl against his skin. “Easy sweetheart. This is to get warm, nothin’ else.” He teased as he gripped your hips to stop their slow churning.

“You son of a -“ his slow drag of his cock out and back in cut off your insult.

“Sorry, just adjustin’” he smirked as he fully buried himself again.

“Yeah? Same.” You clenched your walls around him elicits a groan as his eyes closed.

“Alright truce truce.” He drew his hands up and down your back. “Let’s just get some shut-eye we’re both exhausted.” His breathing steadied despite his throbbing. You laid your head back down on his chest listening to his heart settle into a slow steady rhythm. You both managed to get some sleep before someone’s restless movements cut it short. You weren’t sure who started it but let’s just say you fell back asleep the way you woke up. His cock buried deep and your pussy holding him there.

——————

Taglist: @melodygatesauthor @lunar-ghoulie @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction

[almostfoxglove]

pedro pascal cinematic universe aus 26/?

the one where ezra returns from the underworld alone. (insp)

[thatredheadwriter]

Snowed In

ezra x f!reader

You and Ezra are snowed in at your little cabin and there’s nothing to do but each other.

I wrote this back before Christmas, but I’ve been a little distracted lately with my job that I hate and trying to figure out what I’m going to with my future. However, as the new year starts, I’m committed to doing more things that make me happy, which includes tumblr-ing and writing. I’ve missed this, and I’ve missed you. I hope you enjoy.

This is an NSFW oneshot for female reader with Ezra of Prospect. This work contains smut and mature language and should not be read by those under 18. As a writer, I will attempt to make accurate warnings for each of my fics, however, I cannot guarantee that I will identify each and every sensitive topic. My works regularly contain swearing, allusions to/mentions of sex, and canon-level violence.

Content Includes (but is not limited to):

Set in canon universe

post-movie Ezra (aka one-arm Ezra)

No mention of Cee

Snowed in with Ezra

petnames  (Junebug, bug, sweetheart)

Swearing

Slight D/s dynamics

Threats of orgasm denial

Oral (f receiving)

Fingering (f receiving)

Anal sex (f receiving)

Aftercare

Cuddly Ezra

Please read at your own discretion and remember to consume your fanfiction responsibly.

It’s eerily silent when you wake next to Ezra, save for his soft snores that fill the dark room. But even those seem muffled as you sit up in bed. You hiss when your feet hit the cold floor, and you wish you’d heeded Ezra’s advice last night when he’d told you that the two of you ought to trade off keeping the woodstove going. Now it burned dim, only ashes and embers glowing in the bottom of the firebox.

You don’t realize how much snow has fallen until you’re restarting the fire with fresh kindling and dry brush, and you stand to peek out the window. Everything you can see is covered in a heavy blanket of pristine white--deadly and beautiful.

“Come back to bed, bug,” Ezra rasps behind you, and you turn to see him spread out in the dim light, his broad, scarred chest out on display like a piece of art.

“Gotta get this fire started, Ez,” you shake your head at him, the lazy bastard watching you do all the work.

His words drip with promise, “I’ll warm you right up if you’ll only return to me, my little Junebug.” Words unsaid send a shudder down your spine.

Ezra is absolutely insatiable. Last night he’d laid you out on the rug under your feet and eaten his fill until you were physically unable to cum anymore, and he’d relished in the way his beard was soaked through with your many releases. After, he’d fucked his fist and cum over your tits before cleaning you with his mouth as you tried to catch your breath.

But it seems he still wants more. You could have seen it coming though, he can never resist fucking you when you wear his clothes, and you’d pulled on his discarded thermal at some point in the chilly night.

“It looks like we’re snowed in” you comment, like your mind hadn’t just replayed all the orgasms he’d given you in the last twelve hours, soaking your panties. “Hope you didn’t plan on getting out today.”

“You know exactly what my plans are bug,” Ezra growls, and you know you’re getting to him.

“I thought I might fix some breakfast, at least get some coffee started,” you muse, hiding your smile by stoking the growing flames. He hates to be ignored, and you can feel his irritation growing from across the room.

The springs of the mattress squeak and you look back to see Ezra propped up on his one arm, gaze harder than any aurelac boring straight into your own. “Bug, don’t test me,” he warns, a dangerous edge to his voice that makes you clench around nothing.

“Why not?” you ask defiantly, only a slight shake to your voice as you clench your thighs together.

Ezra is a patient man, and he knows the game you’re playing. It’s not a new one and he knows just what strings to pluck that will have you singing in his embrace.

“If you continue to defy me, little Junebug, I promise you won’t cum until we burn through the last of the wood in that pile.”

Your eyes widen when you realize he’s looking at the stack by the door, about four feet by four feet, enough for at least two more days in this remote little slice of paradise the two of you had built.

“Now come over here and let a starving man break his fast.”

A tiny squeak escapes your lips as you bound toward the bed and jump underneath the covers, giggling as Ezra peppers you with kisses.

“I love you,” he groans into your neck as a peck turns to a nibble. “Now let me warm you up little Junebug.”

His hand snakes down your torso, dipping into your panties and finding the wetness already pooled between your folds. You whimper into his mouth as his rough fingers circle your clit, and your hips buck up against him.

“Already so wet for me, darling,” he teases, sliding his hand down and slipping two thick fingers into your waiting cunt. “Did you enjoy teasing me?”

You don’t answer, too content with his ministrations to search for words to answer him with, but he pulls his hand away in retaliation.

“Yes, yes I did!” you gasp, hand flying down to clutch his wrist and keep him from moving away.

“Filthy girl,” he admonishes, nuzzling your ear.

“Please, Ezra,” you plead, rolling your hips against his fingers. Your orgasm is building quickly and you know the more you beg now the more forgiving he’ll be when it comes to letting you release.

“What do you need, Bug?” Ezra coos in your ear.

You whimper as he finds the spot inside you that makes your eyes roll. “Need your mouth, Ez.”

He chuckles darkly and pulls his hand away before you can protest. But he’s moving toward the foot of the bed and you know what’s coming next.

“Got my Junebug addicted, have I?” he asks with a hum, settling between your legs and tugging your soaked panties down your legs. 

“Kevva’a yes!” you throw your head back as he dives in, his tongue lapping eagerly at your clit as he scissors his fingers in and out of you. “Fucking addicted to you, Ez. Your fingers, that fu-ucking mouth,” your breath hitches as he nips at your clit, “Your cock too. Feels so good when you’re splitting me apart.”

A wave of pleasure washes over you and one of your hands leaves the bedding to tangle in Ezra’s curls, making him moan into your cunt as your nails scratch across his scalp.

“Gonna cum, Ezra,” you moan, bucking up into his face, but he doesn’t stop. Instead he pushes deeper, harder, grunting into you as you release on his tongue, riding out your high against his face. 

It’s too much and not enough all at once and you simply can’t get enough of Ezra. Your fingers in his hair tighten and you use your grip to pull him back up your body so you can kiss him, the taste of your own release making your cunt clench again.

“I need you inside, Ez,” you pant when he finally pulls away for a breath.

He seems to be contemplating something for a moment.

“Gonna let me fill this tight little ass?” he asks, leaning in to nip at your bottom lip as his hand palms your ass.

The thought makes you leak out onto the sheets below. You’d been toying with the idea for a while, Ezra easing you into it with his tongue and fingers and plenty of lube. It was dirty and filthy and yet Ezra held you so delicately when he teased you there, calling you his sweet little Junebug, urging you to relax in that sultry sweet voice you’d come to think of as home.

“Do you have the lube?” you breathe, and Ezra nods, eyes dark.

He leaves your side for just a second to retrieve it from the bedside drawer.

“I want you to fuck my ass, Ezra,” you purr, nuzzling into his neck. You feel his breath hitch and it makes your heart swell. He knows what this means, and the trust you’re placing in him.

“Shit, Junebug. How can I say no to that?” He places one last kiss to your temple before moving over you, shedding his underwear and letting his hard cock bob up against the swell of his stomach. He pushes your knees until they’re nearly to your chest, spread so he can watch your face as he coats his fingers with the lube before teasing open the puckered ring of muscle between your cheeks.

Ezra’s eyes flit between where his fingers are working you open and your face, completely transfixed by the way your face reacts to the way he’s pulling you apart.

“Do you think you’re ready for me, sweetheart?” he rasps, hand withdrawing from your ass to palm his cock, now aching and red.

“Please, Ezra, fuck me,” you beg, wiggling your ass and pulling your knees closer to your chest.

He’s slow as he pushes in, your hole and his cock already glistening with a generous layer of lube. It’s a different sensation than when he fills your cunt, but he feels even bigger this way, closer. 

When he’s fully seated inside of you, you both lie there for a moment in the silence, listening to your labored pants of pleasure mixing in the cool morning air.

“Fuckin’ move, Ez,” your nails scratch down his back, and you can’t help but clench around his length inside of you.

Ezra wastes no time finding a pace that leaves the both of you breathless, his hand tangling with yours and pressing into the bed as he fills you over and over again. He’s babbling above you now, words pouring out of him like a fountain.

“Squeezin’ me so damn tight, Bug. Can’t believe I’m so close to you. So fucking close you to,” his brow is furrowed tightly and you can tell he’s getting close to his release. Your hand not pinned by his slips down between you and finds your clit, rubbing hard.

“I’m gonna cum, Ezra,” you assure him, meeting his gaze. “Come on, Ez. Fill me up. I want to feel it,”

A strangled noise leaves his throat and you feel his length twitch inside of you, spurting hot ropes of cum into your ass as you tip over the edge into a soft release that leaves you trembling beneath him as he rides out his high.

The two of you stay joined together for a moment after you’ve cum, you comfortably smushed under Ezra’s familiar weight. But eventually he pulls away, making you whine as his cock slips out of your gaping hole.

You watch his back as he disappears into the small bathroom, returning after a minute redressed in a pair of thermal pants and a washcloth in hand. Ezra is gentle as he cleans his spend from between your cheeks, only once getting distracted by the trail of cum dripping out of your ass.

He tosses the rag aside, a problem for later, and rejoins you in the bed, pulling you close to his body.

“Thank you, Junebug,” he murmurs into your ear, hand slipping under your shirt to trace circles on your tummy.

“I think I should be thanking you, Ez,” you chuckle, twisting your neck so you can kiss him sweetly. “I’m certainly not cold anymore.”

[wannab-urs]

Written in the Stars Masterlist

Pairing: Din Djarin x Ezra (Prospect)

Series Summary: The Mandalorian takes a job unlike any he’s ever had before. Driven by his guilt over working for the Empire, even indirectly, and the strange bond he formed with the man, Din rescues his bounty. What follows is not something either of them ever expected.

Series Warnings: The Mandalorian/Prospect crossover AU, canon-typical violence, season 1 rewrite, eventual smut, slow burn, eventual romance

Graphic by @atinylittlepain (Thank you so much)

Ezra Masterlist | Din Djarin Masterlist | Main Masterlist | AO3 | Kofi

Arc One: The Job

Prologue

Chapter One: You Caught Me

Chapter Two: Got So Much to Lose

Chapter Three: Constantly on the Cusp

Chapter Four: Like Lovers or Partners in Crime

Chapter Five: Will We Burn or Just Smolder

Chapter Six: Fall Back into Place

Chapter Seven: Will You Take Me All the Way

[chronically-ghosted]

Taylor! 🎉🎉🎉Congrats on your milestone, lovely! 🎉🎉🎉 How wonderful! You amazing human, you! 🖤

To celebrate, I'd like to request 💫 with Ezra and prompt 14 from the smutty list please if I may - excited to see what you'll conjure up with him! 🤗

Congrats again! Love you millions! 🖤

Thaaank you Jett! It's so wonderful to share this weird little corner of the internet with you!

And, for you, request and ye shall receive!

Vivarium summary: you request a vacation for your birthday. With the rain and a few drinks, you get a lot more than you asked for.