#man loves his yoghurt what can I say

[sorrowfulrosebud]

Imagine being werewolf Katsuki’s mate during his heat rut but still having to go to work. Of course you love your mate and want to help him in this vulnerable state, but you also need to buy him stuff, especially if his rut comes out of nowhere.

For 4-7 days every 4 months, Katsuki can’t keep his hands off you; whimpering and growling possessively every time you have to leave his den, licking your neck and of course trying to sink into every wet hole you have. It makes it difficult to bring him his favourite snacks and drinks, and god forbid if you forget his Yakult yoghurts.

So, when god is absent and he runs out of his favourite foods, you have to take… other measures to keep his horniness satiated.

“Sukiiiii, I’m homeeeee!” You call into your home. Your tote bag was spilling at the seams with your mate’s snacks, your wallet crying at his expensive taste. You take your shoes and coat off before meandering upstairs to your shared bedroom.

You toss Katsuki a look as he whimpered at your entry. Currently, your precious pup was hog tied, thick leather cuffs around each limb. His red leather collar was chained to the headboard, though it did look worse for wear due to his struggling.

His teeth bit into the gag in his mouth, drool and slobber around his chin. Desperate whines left his lips, eyes surely rolling to the back of his head under the silken blindfold.

A fuck machine was plowing into his ass like no tomorrow, the small hearts from the flogger you teased him with still pink against his porcelain cheeks. The medium dildo was abusing his prostate as his moans grew louder and louder. A large cum spot soaked the sheets beneath him as the duvet stroked against his already exhausted cock.

Katsuki’s ears twitched as he turned to the door, saddened but desperate whimpers as he tried shaking the blindfold off. You strolled into the room slowly, enhancing your sounds so he understands what’s happening. The bed groaned under the weight of your added body, the hum of the fuck machine a steady rhythm.

“Aww, is my puppy done for now, hmm? Shall we take a break?” You teased, rubbing your fingers on the sensitive patch of skin above his tail. Katsuki sobbed and nodded desperately. Your hand flattened as you stroked his back lovingly.

“But you look so sweet like this, baby! Does this cock feel better than mine? Maybe I should leave you here for the entire week, hmm? I bet you would love that, wouldn’t you my puppyslut?” You murmur into his fluffy ear, kissing the soft down gently.

Katsuki shook his head hurriedly, unintelligible sobs drowned by his broken and muffled moans. The cuffs shuffled loudly as he fought to break free, the headboard starting to crack.

“Okay, pretty pup, I won’t. But you look so cute like this. My handsome mate, can you give me just one more? Then we can take a break,” you ask him softly, stroking his sweaty back. His tail sprung to life as his fingers flexed, desperate to hold you in some way.

You turned off the machine, causing Katsuki to whine at the lack of friction. With a single tap, he turned to his side, allowing you to snuggle up to him. He instantly took refuge in your neck, taking deep breaths to inhale your comforting scent. You unbuckled his gag, allowing him to stretch his aching jaw. Your hands rubbed over the flushed skin in silent apology, before skimming over his flushed abs and reaching his reddening cock.

“Hgnnn, just fuck my cock,” he whined noisily as you shushed him. You eventually found a steady pace and jerked him off, hissing as your mate bit into your neck in pure ecstasy. Carmine eyes were expanded into galaxies of black, too blissed out to care. His body burned with lust, and you were his only saviour.

“Fuck, fuck, shit! Oh fuck, I’m gonna-” he couldn’t finish his sentence as his cum absolutely ruined your jeans, rope after hot rope draining his balls as he chased his high. His tongue lolled out of his mouth, pants consuming his entire chest.

1 day down, a few more to go.

[inkdrinkerworld]

Post!prision!Reid seeing his daughter for the first time after he gets out 🥹 he gets so emotional because he can finally hold his baby again!

OMG OMG OMG!!!! can you imagine how teary he'd be!! post!prison dad!spencer x mom!reader, I hope you enjoy <3

You wish you could’ve been with the team at the prison, see him come out there in person, but you’re still on bedrest with your baby girl. Georgia is only a couple weeks old, but she’s so much Spencer’s twin- the same unruly curls, the same nose and the same want of you. 

You’d written all about her in your letters to Spencer, describing every feature he’s going to see today in so much detail you were sure he would see her clearly in his mind. 

“Honey?” He doesn’t shout lest he wake his daughter as he walks in, his fingers twitching with the need to see both of you. 

“I’m on the sofa baby,” it’s almost as if he was never gone. You lean over the sofa to see him pass through the kitchen, his hands holding a small bag. “I’m sorry I can’t stand to kiss you, Spence.” 

He tuts, leaning down over you, “Nonsense, how’re you feeling?” His eyes flit over to the cot beside you, roving over your daughter before settling back on you. 

“Like I missed you longer than you’ve been gone.” You’re waterlogged immediately and Spencer rounds the sofa to pull you into him. 

“I missed you too,” his lips press into your temple, “God I missed you both so much.” Tears wet your hairline but you can’t seem to care, Spencer’s home and he’s able to see your baby girl together. What more could you want?

“I brought you some snacks, I figured you hadn’t been able to get any of your cravings.” He says gently, opening a bag to show you all the chocolate malt balls, the yoghurt raisins and the nuts you’d just run out of. “I got something for Georgia too.” 

“Spence,” you gasp when you see the orange stuffed octopus that he pulls out, it’s just as big as Georgia is now. He wipes the tears that fall on your cheeks, kissing your nose before opening the tub of nuts for you. “Seventh smartest animal in the world.” you recall softly. 

“Can I hold her?” He asks finally and you nod, watching him stand and hover over the bassinet. 

“Just scoop her up Spence, she’s going to be so happy you’re home.” 

Spencer doesn’t say a word, practically holding his breath as he does as you say- scooping Georgia up in record time and holding her close to his chest. There’s a moment right after she wriggles a bit when she settles and Spencer feels an ungodly wave of emotion crash into him.

Of course, he’d read that men only feel like fathers the moment they hold their babies, and everyone had told him (everyone being Derek and JJ) that you can’t control the way your heart kind of cracks open to make room for this new love, but he still hadn’t expected it to be so immediate and visceral. 

“Hi Georgia,” he whispers, his tears rolling down the bridge of his nose as he strokes her cheek. “Hi sweet girl.” You’re enamoured already, looking at Spencer holding your daughter like she’s made of fine China. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there when you were born, baby. But I promise I’m not missing anything else where you’re concerned.” 

Tears pool in your eyes as your daughter wakes up, no crying or wailing, just small coos and gurgles as she looks at Spencer. 

“It’s your daddy, Georgia.” You murmur, sniffling and wiping your eyes as Spencer hiccups as she reaches for his face, her little fist bumping into his jaw.

Her almond eyes stare up at him, blinking all slow as she takes him in. Then she smiles, as if she's put a face to the man who spoke to her every night, telling her all the facts he'd read and learnt about babies, animals and whatever soothing topic he could find to tell her while she lived in your belly.

“Your mom lied to me, you look just like her.” You scoff, rolling your eyes as Spencer gives you a little glare. “Those eyes are all her, Peach. Maybe you won’t get your daddy’s brain either- it’s no fun being smart and getting beat up.” You throw a cashew at Spencer then, making him chuckle and come sit beside you. 

“I’m so happy you’re home.” You whisper, stroking Georgia’s cheek as you press yours into Spencer’s bicep. 

“I’m happy to be back, angel.” his eyes remain transfixed to Georgia all day, holding her and touching her foot when he can’t because you have to feed her. Spencer thinks to himself that he’d live through prison a thousand times over if every time he gets out, he can come back to this moment, to the peace and serenity in your home with you and your little girl and the life you’d made together colouring every wall of the house.

[avocado-writing]

a short fic from a conversation with @belilwen so thank her for the 'jizz receptacle/dispensary' ideas. she's very fucking funny and I love her.

Peter has given Wade a label maker, and it is the single worst idea anyone has ever had.

Wade is a menace around the apartment at the best of times, and you say that with absoloute love in your heart - but this is a whole new level of maddening. He is a man incensed. You hear the tik tik tik as he punches out a new label every time you close your eyes, and you're not sure if it's real or just started haunting your nightmares.

It was a gift given with no ill-intent. You know this. Peter is a good dude, and when he heard that Wade been having issues with remembering what was in all the tupperware in the kitchen he wanted to help. But Wade has a way of taking even the most inane item and using it to become the world's most annoying motherfucker.

Mayonnaise. Yoghurt. Moisturiser. All of them have been labelled as "jizz dispenser", much to your horror (you only found out when your parents came round for dinner, and in a panic had to throw your Dove handcream out of the fucking bathroom window to stop them from seeing when it wouldn't peel off). Mary runs around with a little "World's Cutest Most Disgusting Dog" affixed to her face. Blind Al even has a "Blind Al" on her glasses.

Then Wade gets brave. He starts labelling Logan.

He seems surprised - if grumpy - as Wade gives him a huge hug that morning, the two of them not really indulging in physical affection outside the bedroom.

"There's my peanut! Good to see you bright and early this morning, sugartits."

Logan grunts as he lets go, heading to grab some cereal. You groan as you see what Wade has slapped on his back. Jizz recepticle.

"Wade, don't label our boyfriend. It isn't nice."

"Label him? Honey, I'd never. Except as bisexual, which is something he really needs to finally start voicing, considering his dick has been inside both of us.”

Logan flips him the bird as you peel the sticker off. Wade opens his mouth to keep talking and you shove it onto his lips, a far more fitting place in your opinion, especially considering what happened in the bedroom last night.

“Stop harassing us. I love you but rein it in a bit, sweetheart.”

“Or I’ll snap the damn thing in half,” Logan grumbles, and you’re both unsure if he means Wade or the machine.

“Ugh, fine,” Wade pouts. Grabs the label maker again. Types out a “sorriest, sexiest boyfriend” and sticks it on his head. You roll your eyes, fondly.

“That one can stay.”

[jolalibrary]

18. calming peach

frankie morales x f!reader | chapter eighteen of do me yourself

summary: a meet-cute in a hardware store? impossible, out of the question. except, that's exactly what happens. a need for screws leads you to a broad-shouldered, brown-eyed man who you're sure is about to change your day, never mind your life.

wordcount: 4.2k chapter warnings: dad!frankie. frankie calls you 'rainy' (paint-related from chp.1) no other descriptions or name used. no use of y/n. flirting. too idiots who clearly want to have a future together. an: we're so close to the end and i'm crying.

prev chapter | series masterlist

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key: frankie is in bold, you are in italics

You’d never consider setting an alarm an hour early for anyone else, silencing it with a groan and stretch, leg bending out like a lazy, sleepy starfish until it meets him.

He who is waiting, palm sliding over your thigh, up to your waist, gently tickling your stomach until you wiggle. Frankie’s breath grazes your neck as he sighs, pressing each syllable to your skin, Morning.

Sometimes when you wake next to him, you stretch out and he comes to your side; others you fold over onto his, and occasionally you meet in the middle, leg between his, rousing to the sounds of neighbours, heartbeats, birds, or silence.

But like clockwork, always after a moment, your lips meet his in a tender kiss, soft and layered with a smile before growing needier, the only time his movements aren't slick and coordinated.

“Shower?”

He hums against your mouth, tracing the band of your sleep shorts.

Soon enough, the hour is stolen by cuddles and whispers before a shared shower washes away lingering sleep. Hisses blend with steam until you're both towelling off and slipping into clothes.

“Do you think you’ll be gone all day?” you ask, pouring fruit into your yogurt, handing him the bowl as he sips his coffee.

“Not sure—could be. You’re staying here, right?” You nod and grin, chewing a piece of fruit. “Good. I like knowing I’m coming home to you.”

His words spread warmth through you, a blaze of happiness. You stare at him for a moment before asking, “Is that so?”

Placing his elbow on the table, he traces his jaw as he stares. “Yeah. That okay?”

Shrugging, fighting a smirk. “Not the worst thing I’ve been told.”

“What you working on today? ” he says, pinching a piece from your bowl—ignoring the chopped-up, untouched yoghurt ones left for him. “Still those graphics?”

Nodding, you motion to stab him with your fork when he tries again. “Get your own, Morales. Stop wanting mine.”

“Can never stop wanting you.”

Narrowing your eyes, you watch him grab a piece from the free bowl, smirking as he chews.

“I made you a lunch, by the way.”

Chewing and smirking, he drags his tongue across his bottom lip. “Like a lunch lunch or—?”

“A lunch in a brown bag—with maybe a love note in there.”

His tongue pokes his cheek as he smirks. “Yeah?”

You nod, pointing at the fridge. He moves quickly, opening the brown bag, rustling through it before pausing and turning fully.

“You made me lunch.”

“I did.”

You might have ruined me for lunches from now on.

Ah, this is why I didn’t make you them before—wanted you to fall in love with me for me, and not my excellent packed lunch. You hating what you have today?

It’s not hitting the spot.

Did you make it yourself or grab it on the way?

Grabbed it?

Well, there’s why. It isn’t made with love.

I did like the fact I got a note in mine the other day.

Special treatment. Hope you didn’t throw it away.

Don’t laugh, but it’s in my wallet.

Aw Butterscotch, you loveeeee me.

If you make Luca a packed lunch, I think he’ll make you stay forever.

Well, I’m not going anywhere. If that’s okay?

I meant living with us, but good to know that we’re on the same boat about being a forever kind of thing.

I don’t make lunches for just anyone.

Because of the risk of them falling in love with you?

It’s a blessing and a curse, Morales.

Placing the platter down, a breeze blows the tablecloth on the newly painted and restored garden furniture Frankie had surprised you with.

The temperature warm, birds chirping as you check and recheck the various paint shades ready on the paper plates—the canvas’ already set up on their stands as he waits, resting his chin on his palm.

“Ready?”

Scrunching your nose, you sigh. “I think so?”

“What if I can’t paint you how I see you?”

Kissing the top of his head, feeling his head tilt up as you press another to his forehead, to his nose. “Oh, I’ll cry if I look like a monster.”

His laugh ripples out as you press your mouth to his, feeling one of his hands skate around your middle, squeezing.

A scroll on your phone one night had led the two of you to purchase a vase from Harold’s small homeware section, filling it with a bunch of different date ideas. Some cheap, at home, some further afield that required more planning.

Last week’s had been backyard camping. The tent had been big enough for all three of you, fairy lights strung on the inside as Luca’s s’mores (an insistence on them from both you and him) had accompanied well with Frankie’s reading of Luca’s ghost story. Which was basically one of his books with a ghost on the cover.

Today’s, on a rare free day off, had you both back outside and ready to paint. Thirty minutes on Frankie’s phone, a set of paint shades that would definitely make it difficult to capture the beauty of his eyes and an array of nibbles that smelt too good to keep avoiding.

As you sit, both grabbing a brush in hand, you glance over at him and nod as he begins the timer, his focus already deep on his canvas. He looks up, catching your eye and offering a smile that’s familiar, all but warm.

“You know,” he says, dipping his brush into a bright blue, “this might be my favourite date yet.”

You grin, feeling a warmth spread through you that has nothing to do with the sun. “Because you’re getting to paint something other than a dinosaur?”

He nods, eyes twinkling. “I do paint a good dinosaur.”

“You do. Very talented.”

Laughter continues as you begin with his outline, the conversation flowing as you try to capture his nose, his smile—the crinkle of his eyes. By the time the alarm goes off, you're almost happy. Dropping your paintbrush, hands up as you admire for a moment before picking yours up to show him.

“You’re going to be blown away.”

“I’m ready, baby.”

Turning yours first, his brows raise, leaning forward, slightly squinting. “I'm getting the idea that you like my nose...”

Smirking, slowly lowering yours back to the stand. “Oh, I like your nose, Butterscotch.”

Laughing, he then turns his and what you see takes your breath away. His painting of you, beautiful but also absolutely hilarious, has your smile cutting up into your cheek, teeth showing before a laugh rumbles out. It high-pitched, scratching your throat as it forces it out—tears pricking at your eyes, as he slowly lowers it.

“See? I told you I couldn’t paint you how I see you.”

You laugh, blinking back tears, heart full. “Frankie, you drew me as a dinosaur.”

He cracks then, mirroring you, laughing. “I wouldn’t run from you.”

Shaking your head, wiping another tear from your eye you snort. “I’d trample on you.”

“I’d let you.”

Wanted you to know that a certain person is wondering if he can watch cartoons and eat ice cubes with you. Aw, how’s the little man feeling? He’s still got a temp, but it’s less than yesterday and he’s managing to keep toast down. I’ve rang Harold already, thought he might have been okay today but. Does Harold need help?

You don’t even think, question.

The offer had been on your tongue on the day Frankie had called from the car to tell you he needed to pick Luca up. Explanation interspersed with hissing at traffic and grumbling, as you conjured the image of him tugging on his hair as he hurried his way to the school.

Frankie had said it would be fine when you’d offered before—it’ll be one day, that’s it. Now it was day three, and medication from the family medicine doctor as Luca battled an ear infection that had him not even wanting to talk dinosaurs.

There’s a delivery, but he says he’ll call his nephew.

Dialling his contact and pressing the phone to your ear, you drain the last parts of your coffee, tidying away the opened letters on your countertop as it rings, and rings, and—

“Call him and tell him I’m on my way.”

Frankie laughs, mumbling a hello as you hear him clanging a pan and something else. “You don’t have to do that.”

“I know, but I haven’t got much on—and even if I just accept it for him, let him tell me where he wants it, then it’s sorted.”

“You sure? This… you don’t have to do this.”

Laughing, grabbing a t-shirt from your drawer, before pulling out a pair of older jeans. “You kidding me right? I get to hang out with Harry—hear his puns first-hand? I’m more excited than he’ll be.”

“Rainy…”

Your mouth opens, letting out a heavy exhale before you stare at yourself in the mirror. Seeing the smile on your face from his words, finding yourself unable to tear yourself away from it for once. Liking it, the look of joy on your face, the one he etches just from his voice.

“Rainy?”

“It’ll be good for me—think I need to get out of the office, my house.”

There’s a silence, just for a moment. “You okay?”

Muttering an uh-huh back to him as you place him on loudspeaker, dragging the t-shirt over your head before he says your name.

“Just another rough day with a person who is using me as a punching bag. Woke up to an email, but… it’s fine, it’s really fine.”

“I hate that you keep having them.”

“Yeah,” you sigh. “Me too. I feel like I brave it up and get rid of one and two grow in its place.”

Frankie exhales, his breath sliding down the phone, “Can I do anything?”

“Well, if you don’t mind me being fake Frankie, I’d love to go help Harold out—it’ll be good for me. Feel like… I’m good at something.”

“Rainy.”

“I know,” you say, finger-tracing a pattern on your bedsheets, “I know. But… just how I feel.”

“You’re good at lots of things.”

“Like?”

He snorts, loudly. “Making me laugh.”

“You laughed at a meme for ten minutes the other day about a dog’s tongue poking out.”

“It was hilarious.”

Sitting yourself down, back lying on your made bed, you run a hand down your face. “I’m just a little tired, I think. Usually, it wouldn’t bother me this much.” Frankie makes a noise in agreement, the back of your wrist resting on your forehead. “Truthfully, I want to see if Harold would be impressed by my puns.”

Frankie laughs, more clanging heard under it. “I’ll call him—but only if you promise to let me order you food for when you’re done.”

“Oh. Not worried I’ll get whatever Luca has?”

He snorts, and you can imagine the roll of his eyes even down the phone. “Unless you think you can catch an ear infection, I think you’ll be good.”

Smiling, slowly pulling yourself up to a sitting position, a pang of worry knocks through you—threatens to shake things. “Harold won’t mind, will he… I know you said he runs things differently.”

“I think he’s been wanting to replace me with you since you wandered in that day—he’ll be hoping it becomes permanent.”

Are you doing okay?

Yeah! It’s been fine, most are on palettes. Did spot a large order of butterscotch paint—that for you?

Haha, no. It’s actually been picking up in popularity.

It’s you modelling it on your page.

Shh, no it isn’t.

Baby, I love you—but I saw your latest video. From when you helped Benny, if I wasn’t already getting the chance to be in the sheets with you, I’d be thinking it.

It wasn’t that hot.

You really, really grossly misunderstand how hot you are, Francisco. Your arms for one.

You’re making me blush.

How the turn tables turn. Me, in your apron, you at home being flirted with.

Now I’m picturing you in my apron.

Yeah?

Don’t tell me what’s under it, let me fantasise.

Should I bring it to yours later?

Yeah. Yeah, do that.

There’s something about the noise of fight night.

It is both thrilling and anxiety-inducing as Frankie leads you in, his palm firmly on your back, guiding and easing you in. You reach a hand back to touch his wrist, a comforting ritual you’ve developed since that first time.

Your eyes scan and search for the others, a routine that brings a sense of normalcy to these events. Feet slowing, almost coming to a stop as you see Will wave, drink in hand, pointing at it as you nod back to Frankie and guide him through the growing crowd.

The music is louder tonight, the air tinged with more restlessness as you move, slide, and push your way through until you reach the rope.

“VIP, are we?” you call out, wrapping your arm around Will’s neck in a hug.

“Only the best.”

You step aside as the rope is reattached, letting Frankie and Will greet each other while you wave at the others. Out of the corner of your eye, you see all the slaps on the back, Frankie’s fingers cupping the back of his friend's head as he grins, nods, and talks right into his ear.

Then, there’s an arm around your middle, a familiar warm breath on your ear. “You good, baby?”

“I am.”

His lips press a tender kiss to the side of your head before you follow Will to sit down. As you settle in, you listen to Will telling Frankie that Benny is in the back and how he’s really stepped up over the last few days. You find yourself distracted, your tongue chasing the straw in your drink, until the conversation turns to yoga. Will mentions that you think it’s been quite good for Benny to shut off, and you give Frankie a look, mouthing, ‘Told you,’ to your boyfriend.

“Hey, I’ve been meaning to ask,” Will says suddenly, shouting over the music. “How did it go showing him the—”

Involuntary, your elbow slams into his side mid-sip. Your eyes widen as it forces a cough to smother the other words, staring boldly, almost coldly, right into Will’s face.

“I haven’t had a chance to show Benny the video,” you say, curtly, sharply. “It was very bright in the helicopter.”

You hope the lie is good enough, solid enough. You also hope Will picks up on it. Notice the distress in your eyes as Frankie, who is hanging onto your side and you can feel is darting his eyes from you to his friend and back again.

It takes a second, eyes narrowing, your stomach knotting as you fear the surprise you’ve been planning for Frankie is about to unravel.

“Ah, alright. Well, it would be good to see when it’s ready.”

Nodding, you lean into Frankie’s side, watching his eyes smooth out, relief washing over you as the tension dissipates. “Hey, so how does this night go? Is he the main fight?”

Shaking his head, Frankie adjusts his hold on his drink as he slings his arm around your neck, beginning to explain things as you shoot a smile at Will, managing to catch, quickly, the mouthed apology as you wink and let Frankie explain what tonight is for.

Your phone vibrates on the side, glancing at it as you help Luca roll out a small pizza circle from the dough you made last night.

“Rainy, can you helps me with my hat?”

Fingers adjusting his chef hat further down his head, a thing you hadn’t been sure if he would like until you saw his face light up when you pulled it out with its matching apron.

We should be done in about half an hour. And then I can come inside? You will be greeted at the side door by our mini-waiter who will be happy to show you to your seat. You breaking child working laws, Rainy? He had a work permit I swear.

Stepping back from him, you turn the oven on as you mentally tick off another thing, before scanning over the recipe that you have printed out.

It’s splattered in the sauce you’ve already made—and slightly damp from grabbing Luca's water earlier.

I think you’re lying. I think you grossly misunderstand how seriously we take things at Dino-Moralesaurus Diner. Excellent name though. I can’t take all the credit, your son is a genius.

At the sound of a knock, you help Luca down from the cooking stool Frankie had made him as he runs off excitedly screaming. It’s even harder not to grin at the sound of his boots coming off, as he comments nice hat, chef to Luca as you continue rolling out the dough.

You’re aware you’re covered in flour, that the side is a mess of sauce stains and random half-chopped ingredients.

“What’s this?”

Luca, now hatless, fulfils his duty as a waiter, offering the chalkboard to him as he explains, in the most adorable voice, that the special is pizza, the main is pizza and the dessert is—

“Rainy, what’s the dessert again?”

“Ice cream.”

“’Tis ice cream, Daddy.”

Lifting your head from chopping toppings, you catch his eye and exchange a knowing smile before Luca leads him to the already set table, clinking plates and silverware as he clambers up onto the chair to pour him a glass of lake water.

“Now, tell me, are the pizzas dino shaped?”

“Hmm, lets me ask the chefs. Chef Rainy?”

“Yes, Waiter Luca-saurus.”

You can’t fight the smile that spreads as you announce that unfortunately, tonight's dishes won’t even be fully round, never mind dinosaur-shaped.

By the time you’ve rolled out the dough and just about to begin spreading tomato sauce, Luca decides that there needs to be more dinos on the table. Freeing Frankie from sitting at the table and allowing him to join you.

“Chef Rainy, would you like some help with the toppings?"

“Only because you’re nice to look at,” you say, watching him roll up his sleeves as he moves to stand beside you.

You hand him a spatula for the sauce while you sprinkle cheese. Frankie insists on creating a ‘masterpiece’ with a mix of all the toppings, while you opt for a simpler choice, sprinkling it with fresh basil and tomatoes.

“By the way, Luca’s is store-bought. Thought poisoning your child would be hard for me to live down.”

Together, you lean against the counter as Luca runs back in, little feet slapping against the tiles as more dinosaurs begin filling up the table. Frankie goes into dad mode as he asks if he’s washed his hands before he’s running off again.

It’s barely a few minutes, but the timer goes off. Springing into action, removing Luca’s pizza from the oven—seeing the cheese golden, bubbling, filling the kitchen with a rich, cheesy aroma before you place it down and throw both yours and Frankie’s in.

You call out to Luca, who’s been eagerly waiting in the living room. “Luca-saurus! Your pizza’s ready!”

Luca comes running in, eyes wide with excitement as he climbs onto his chair at the table and you slice it up into smaller pieces and place it down.

“Mmm, this is so good!” he exclaims, his cheeks puffed out like a little chipmunk.

As Luca continues to enjoy his pizza, you and Frankie take a moment to savour the anticipation of your own creations baking in the oven. The timer goes off again, and you carefully remove the pizzas, setting them down on the counter.

“They look amazing,” Frankie says, admiring the crispy edges and perfectly melted cheese.

Taking your first bite, you’re hit with a burst of flavour, the freshness of the basil and the tang of the tomato sauce mingling perfectly with the gooey mozzarella. You share a look with Frankie, who gives you a thumbs-up, his mouth too full to speak.

“How did you like your homemade pizza?” you ask Luca, smiling at his enthusiastic nodding.

“It’s the best pizza ever!” he declares, reaching for another slice.

Frankie leans over, giving you a quick kiss on the cheek. “You’ve outdone yourself,” he says softly.

You squeeze his hand, before moving to the sink to begin soaking them—just as Luca drags Frankie to pick the second part of the evening.

By the time you’re joining them, finding your saved spot in between them both, the movie is ready to begin, the opening credits starting before you’ve even got under the blanket. It’s minutes before you feel Frankie’s fingers sliding up and down your shoulder, your head turning, smiling as Luca sighs loudly next to you, eyes still closed, sinking deeper into a heavier sleep.

“You had a nice evening, Butterscotch?”

“Was perfect.”

“Thank you. For letting me do this—let us do this for you.” Shrugging, his free hand stroking over his face. “I’m proud of you. Six years is… monstrous.”

Snorting, resting his head on the back of the sofa, he grins a little wider. “Can tell the pair of you have had the afternoon together—monstrous.”

“He says it better.”

Nodding, Frankie shifts in his place, hand pausing on your shoulder, before squeezing it. “T-thank you. For tonight. For making a big deal but… not making a big deal.”

“Big deal not big deals are kind of my forte.”

Laughing, his thumb and index tracing over his lower lip, as you flick your eyes back to the brightness on the television—the high-pitched voices of the characters making you giggle, as the cartoon scene plays out.

“Wish we could do this all the time,” you whisper, fingers stroking along Luca’s hair—feeling him nuzzle further in the space between your calves and bent knees.

Frankie doesn’t move, or shift, but rather drags his fingers up and draws a different shape on your neck, forcing your eyes to move from the screen to his. And you see it, nestled there—a question, one his mouth opens to speak.

“What?” you ask.

“We could… do this all the time.”

Brows raising, you smile. “Oh? How would we do that?”

“Rainy.”

“Francisco.”

Snorting, continuing his drawing on your arm, he lets out a weighted exhale. “We could… maybe live in one place?”

“Oh?”

His hand slides over your shoulder, squeezing it as your heart races as he takes a breath, as more of his words hang in the air. It isn’t that you haven’t thought about it—that it hasn’t come up casually, a promise of asking you properly previously teased—but now it’s here, there, present.

Things crash into you as you run through the list. The image of waking up with him every morning, is slighted by the worries that he’d grow sick of you if you didn’t have your separate spaces. Would you disappoint him? Would he like the version of you he sees all the time—and not just part of it—

But, even still, the answer is so clearly there, sitting, teetering on the tip of your tongue as you begin to grin, smile. Almost about to answer when Luca mumbles in his sleep beside you, something incoherent before his eyes flip open and he makes a funny noise.

Frankie shifts, hand dropping from you as he calls out his name.

“I… Daddy, I don’t feel very well.”

“Shit,” you whisper as you throw your legs down from the sofa as Frankie moves to kneel at the same time as he whispers, “Mierda.”

The back of his hand presses to the boy’s forehead as Luca begins rubbing his stomach. “You feel sick?”

Luca nods, rubbing his eyes as Frankie helps lift him from his place between the sofa and your legs and makes him stand up.

“You think Daddy was right about all those sprinkles?”

Nodding again, Luca buries his head into Frankie’s neck and chest, little hands sliding around as Frankie looks at you and smiles, reassuringly. “He’ll be fine. But, I’m gonna put him in bed—do not press play without me, Rainy.”

Grinning, your lashes flutter as he lifts his son and stands. “Wouldn’t dream of it, Morales.”

“And, maybe we can finish the conversation too.”

Okay, you whisper—fingers pinching at the skin on the back of your arms as your brain begins to tally, to list, to think.

NEXT CHAPTER ->

an: have you seen the bonus graphics on the masterlist? if you have any moments you'd love to see from the series till now, let me know and i'll make them for after the epilogue (chapter 20)

[thenightshadowqueen]

SFTH moments that live rent-free in my head, part 2 (in no particular order)

Because apparently I have more.

“Mmm, but I’m poison and you love it”

Creepy Jim 🏳️‍🌈

The hat-nose letter

“STOPINTHENAMEOFTHELAAAWWWW!!!”

Sam losing his fucking mind during the expert game in HUGE

“Mr. André Beetroot, you’re my hero!” “Ah, I don’t like you.”

Luke as the horny goblin

Tom’s whole speech as Locomotion—it was so fucking gorgeous and it’s in my head all the time (especially “I’m older than the devil, sir” and “I am the Silver Line and the Silver Line is me!”)

“Don’t let the constant mental breakdowns get you down.”

The bit in the Suspicious Crème Brûlée where Sam yanks Luke around by his hair

“AJ stays with Luke…” (I’m sorry in advance for getting this stuck in your head)

Luke taking his trousers off in Nigel (and then using that to get Tom to do it in My First Bra)

“Lovely little Luke Manning!”

AJ’s rap about Disney princesses (Worst thing I’ve ever seen. 10/10.)

Tom holding up a fucking buttplug during one of the COVID livestreams????? (Also I can’t for the life of me remember which one it was and if anyone knows that would be very appreciated because I’m half-convinced it was a fever dream)

“Gavin, obviously there’s a difference.” (I don’t know what it is, but the way Tom says it has captivated me)

The Jane Austen bit in West End Big Boys

“Grab her by the face and DON’T LET GO! Because sometimes they run away and LEAVE YOU!”

“I’m just a writer, and I like to ride bikes. I’m not weird, I’m not strange; I enjoy juices, and I have a good family.”

“When the wind doth blow/to and fro/you must get your shit together/and fuck up them hoes”

The kiss in the prom Timewarp, and especially the way AJ and Tom were cheering them on

Also the kiss in the “what not to do with your coworkers” video, because the way Luke throws three of his limbs in the air at once is glorious

“Husband! Husband!” “Oh, darling, you’ve been down in the basement—” “The chinchilla’s a FUCKING NAZI!”

Sam calling AJ “CrossFit Voldemort”

On that note, “He looked a little bit like Henry Cavill if he had a wasting disease” (and Tom’s little sassy head movement in response)

“You’re keeping me on tenterhooks, like a piece of sirloin.”

The scene Tom and Sam did for Tom’s anniversary

“The camper the German, the more likely they are to win.”

“You said it was water under the bridge.” “Aye, and you know what’s good at drowning people?”

Giggly Luke from Hornchurch

The booba looba (and AJ’s glorious reaction to it)

“Can I call you Tony?” “You can, but my name’s David.” (“So, Tony—”)

Jackson from the COVID livestreams (“Sit in the well-done corner and just shut up.”)

Sam’s fucking apocalypse plan (which is still in my head despite my best efforts)

“I just wanted to have the talk.” “The talk? The boob talk?” “The boob talk that all women must have with their mothers.”

The wife from the casino scene (it’s the accent)

“Do you need a lie-down?” “I thought I already was.”

“Larger than a man, smaller than a dream”

Moriarty-Sherlock mental fuck chess

“Capitalism is blood!” “CHANGE!” “Communism is yoghurt!”

Tom bring an absolute menace during Puppets

“God bless the British Transport Police” (said in the most ‘what am I doing with my life’ voice I’ve ever heard)

“Stay on your stool bitch boy”

“Get your hand out of my car”

[uniquexusposts]

A cafe, a newspaper and Carlos

Summary: Y/N and meets Carlos in a cafe and they bond over a newspaper and a book. Genre: fluff Read the full story here

Y/N was on her way to the nearest city in Spain. It was sunny, it was warm, and it was not like her home country. She had been in Spain for three months now. Y/N was glad to leave the house for a day. She tried to get out of the house at least once a week for a whole day, but that rather failed than worked. Once a week became once every two weeks. Renovating a house was more challenging than you would think. Y/N would say she underestimated it.

After twenty minutes, she arrived in the city. The first thing she did was visit the supermarket to buy a newspaper from her home country and a local newspaper. Y/N was young; you wouldn't say that she belonged to the target audience for reading newspapers. She was a journalist, she had to keep up with the news. Y/N and her dad tried to get the newspaper delivered to their house, but that didn't work. They had to buy it every morning now - which wasn't bad at all.

Tourists were strolling around on this beautiful day. Y/N agreed with them. Because Y/N began to know this village more, she knew the best hotspots by now. There was a new coffee shop hidden in one of the alleys, it was her go-to spot. It was one of the hidden gems and there were a few people who knew about it, they hoped it would stay this small and unknown. How did Y/N find this? She was kinda friends with one of the baristas: Maria. Maria used to work at a cafe that fired her for no particular reason. So the 'savage'? Stealing customers.

Y/N entered the cafe. The amazing thing that made this cafe unique? It was on a rooftop. It wasn't a chic cafe. The cafe reminded her of one of her favourite places back in her home country; warm, open, happy. Y/N walked up the stairs.

"Hola, Y/N," Maria said as soon as she saw the young lady.

Y/N smiled. "Hola," she said. "¿Cómo va todo?"

"I'm fine, today is a busy day," the woman smiled. "What can I get you? I will bring it to you."

"I would love to have a coffee," Y/N said. "With a yogurt bowl and a glass of water."

"The usual," Maria warmly smiled. "We only have free chairs inside, but I think a few people leave in a bit. It's up to you what you will do."

The eyes of Y/N were gliding over the people on the terrace. "I will just look around," she smiled. "But thanks."

"Anytime, girl."

Y/N walked outside, it was indeed filled with people. However, she had spotted a free chair. But every table was occupied. Could she just ask one of the people to sit at their table? That would be rude. She was here to enjoy the day and the sun... And if you don't ask it, you don't know it. Besides, everyone in The Netherlands - Amsterdam - would share a table if everything was occupied.

She bit her lip and walked towards the free chair. Her eyes fell on the man who sat on the other side of the table, he was enjoying a cup of coffee and reading a book. Could she bother him?

"Hi," Y/N politely said. When the man looked up, she pressed a smile on her face. "Do you mind if I sit here?"

The corners of the man's mouth curled up. "No, have a seat," he said.

"Gracias," she said and turned around the chair to face the sun and view, not the man. Y/N placed her leg over her knee and grabbed the newspaper from her bag. This was the ultimate moment to enjoy the warm bursts of sunshine.

Five minutes later, Maria walked to Y/N. "Found a free chair, I see," she smirked and put the coffee, glass of water and yoghurt on the table with whom Y/N shared a table. "How are you?"

"Thanks, Maria. And I'm fine, finally a day off."

"I already thought so. I haven't seen you in a while."

"It's so busy," Y/N breathed and closed the newspaper. "But I missed this; I had to make time to drink a coffee at yours."

Maria widely smiled. "Things I love to hear," she said and looked at the man behind Y/N. "Can I get you anything?"

The man looked up from his book. "No, thanks, I'm fine."

"Also perfect. And for your information, for both of you, everything is on one bill. I couldn't split it. So when one of you is leaving, we will split the bill for your own consumption. Just to let you know when it's unclear when you will pay," Maria explained to both of them. The man and Y/N nodded. "I will speak to you later, yes?" She said to Y/N.

"Absolutely. Good luck," Y/N smiled. "Thanks, by the way."

"No need to thank me." And Maria walked away.

Y/N opened the newspaper again and continued reading. She took some sips from the cappuccino and ate the yoghurt. It was still morning, well, late in the morning. A few people were enjoying a morning off, others were working, and some were only here for a cup of coffee in their break.

One thing Y/N enjoyed about this, was that she could read and look up after a while, watching the surroundings and the people. If you didn't feel like reading for a couple of minutes, there were enough other things to fill the time.

Hours passed. The newspaper made place for a book, and the coffee made room for a refreshing juice. A lot of the same people were still present, a few left and a couple of new faces came in return.

"Excuse me," the man behind Y/N said.

She looked over her shoulder, locking her eyes with the man's. Now she noticed the afternoon was coming to an end. And she could feel it, a soft breeze flowed through her hair. "Hi."

"Hey, I'm leaving. I accidentally paid for us both..."

"Oh," Y/N softly said. Actually, she forgot that they were sharing a bill. And the man just has been too. "How much is it?"

The man looked at the bill. "13,20 euros," he said.

She nodded and grabbed her wallet. She gave him a bill of 5 and 10 euros. "You can keep the change."

The man got something from his pocket. "Here do you have two euros," he said and placed it on the table. "You can keep the 20 cents," he softly chuckled.

"Oh, eh, thank you." Y/N politely smiled.

"It was a good day," the man continued. He looked around with a satisfied look on his face.

"It was a good day," she agreed with him. Y/N closed the book she was reading and took a sip from her juice. "We all needed it. People somehow seem nicer." Her eyes fell on the time; she didn't have to be somewhere next, but perhaps it was also time to go home.

The man looked down and smirked. He nodded and looked up again. "They somehow do. I saw how you enjoyed the sun. It's somehow amazing to see how much people can enjoy the warmth and sun."

"People are desperately in need of the sun and the summer." She looked at him. "Thank you for letting me sit here."

"Yeah, no problem. The chair was doing nothing anyway," he replied. He noticed the smile on her face; she looked grateful. "What are you reading?" His eyes fell on the book.

Y/N got up and turned around her chair. "Sorry, my neck begins to hurt," she mentioned. The man nodded and was wearing a smile. "But The Secret History by Donna Tartt. My grandma recommended it, and I have to say... I'm impressed. It's a good story so far."

"I never heard of it before," he honestly mentioned. Y/N gave the book to him, so he could read the back - luckily this was the English version. She figured he might get interested in it. His eyes scanned the words on the back. "It looks good," he said and gave back the book.

"It is." Her eyes fell on his book, but she didn't say anything of it.

"Grand Hotel Europe," he mentioned. "By Ilja Leonard Pfeijffer?" He looked doubtful when he pronounced his name. "I'm not sure what to think of it, to be honest. I got it from a friend, but I'm not quite sure whether I like it or not." He slid the book to Y/N. His brown eyes were scanning the woman in front of her. She didn't even read the back, she just smiled and nodded. It made him curious why that was her reaction.

"I think it's brilliantly written. It's tough to read it, but I like it."

"You have read it?" The man looked perplexed when Y/N nodded. "Wow. No offence, but you're the first person I know who read it." He smiled. "I'm Carlos, by the way."

"Y/N."

Carlos nodded. "Y/N... Nice to meet you."

"A pleasure to meet you too," Y/N replied. Of course, she knew the man in front of her was Carlos. Carlos Sainz Jr.

The small kept resting on his face. However, his eyes fell on the two newspapers on the table. Carlos knew one of them. But one of them was in a language he couldn't make sentences of. "What language is this?" He looked at Y/N. "Sorry for looking into your stuff, but since the moment you finished reading it, I've been trying to figure out what language it is."

"It's just a newspaper, Carlos," she amusingly said. Y/N folded the Dutch newspaper open. "It's Dutch, de Volkskrant, the newspaper for the people."

He nodded impressively. "Makes sense now."

"Don't you have to go? I don't want to bother you, you already paid..." Y/N knew it was direct, but in her experience, they were leaving when someone paid.

He looked at his watch. "Nah, I don't have to go anywhere, actually," Carlos said. "Unless you want me to leave you alone."

"No, no, I mean, you already paid, so I assumed you had to go," she softly mentioned and looked away. Sometimes being Dutch in a foreign country was quite...different.

"I have the day off," Carlos mentioned, also making sure he didn't give her the wrong intentions. "But since that newspaper is from the Netherlands... I assume you're Dutch?"

Y/N nodded.

"Holiday or..?" Carlos raised his eyebrow, sharing a questionable look.

Y/N looked around and doubted what she could call this. "I would say it's an adventure," she replied. "Also, a little bit of a vacation."

"An adventure sounds exciting," he warmly smiled. "What kind of adventure, if I may ask?"

She bit her lip and made eye contact again. "Building a new home."

Taglist: @itsjustkhaos@crashingwavesofeuphoria@maryvibess

[randomquadballpun]

Beyond the Dying Light (59052 words) by randomquadballpun Chapter 6 out of 8 (WIP)

« "But I forget, breathing is just a boring waste of time to you and this ..." John gestured in the direction of the phone. "Is just a series of interesting puzzles, nothing more!" His voice broke off and he sounded out of breath.

Sherlock swallowed hard, the tea in his stomach suddenly feeling like it had been a grave mistake. There was so much he wanted to say. He wanted to defend himself, make the other man see his reasoning and at the same time he wanted to fire some devastating response and hit John where it would hurt the most. It took all his willpower to do neither of those and respond in his calmest, bored tone instead. "Yes, is that news to you?"

He could just imagine how Johns eyes would shutter at the words. How he would pull up straighter, square his shoulders and put on his most stubborn expression. It was not what Sherlock wanted, but it would put them on some sort of equal ground at least. Both of them stoic and stubborn and desperately pretending their unbotheredness.

But when he stole a glimpse across the room the other man had not returned to his customary soldier face, instead he stood slumped over, his eyes glued to the floor and looking far too vulnerable. Without a look in Sherlocks direction, he covered the yoghurt back up and returned it to the fridge uneaten. "No. No, I suppose not." He muttered in the direction of the closed fridge door. "Of course you wouldn't see any sense in caring." »

-> Emotions come to a boil right before Sherlock and John start investigating Moriartys 4th riddle and John contemplates the starry night sky that he so rarely sees all this way underground. <-

This is chapter 6 of Beyond the Dying Light, which is the 2nd part of my ongoing Sherlock series All is Violent, All is Bright. A BBC Sherlock fanfiction set in a dystopian London of the future where technology has advanced to a point where brain implants and augmented reality are the norm.

You can start reading this series from the very start HERE. I am currently posting updates for this fic every two weeks and I would love it if you could drop by and give it a try!

[jessicaloons]

Chapter 22:

‘Cause baby, now we got bad blood, You know it used to be mad love…

Masterlist - Previous - Next

TW: conversations about eating disorder

I woke up from Charles scrambling out of bed, phone in his hand, trying to be as quiet as possible and turned around, grabbing my phone. 7:13. Who would call this early after a race? I sat up and stretched a little, before I got up, grabbed Charles shirt and went into the bathroom. I freshened up a little and put on the shirt. I flinched a little when my phone vibrated on the vanity, leaving the bathroom, checking who texted me. It was Julie, texting me an agenda for this race week in Hungary. Before I could open the attachment, I heard Charles speaking fast and loud and very angry Italian. He didn’t understand why there’s a problem. He already told me. They’re being ridiculous. I slowly opened the door and walked outside. Charles stood in his living room, with his back to me, only in sweatpants, hand in his hair.

"Ciao." he hung up and threw his phone on the couch, he groaned and turned around, flinching when he saw me "Fuck! Lizzie! Don’t scare me like that!"

"Sorry! I just walked out and was about to say something when you turned around." I said and he chuckled a little before he opened up his arms, for me to snuggle into him.

"Good morning, pretty girl." he whispered against my head, softly stroking my back.

"Good morning, pretty boy. What’s going on in Ferrari-Land?" I whispered back and I could feel Charles tense up.

"Nothing you need to worry about." he assured me, gently pulling away "Can we go back to bed now? For a little while? I’m tired."

"Sure?" I said and he took my hand in his, leading us back to bed.

We snuggled into the pillows and I laid my head on his chest, his heart beating erratically, gently slowing down. His warmth engulfed me, his scent filled my nostrils and lured me back to sleep. After a while I stirred around a little, feeling hot and sweaty.

"Stop it." Charles muffled voice sounded through the silence of the room "Stop wiggling around."

"I’m hot." I whispered and he chuckled.

"I know, one of the many reasons why I love you."

"Ha ha, very funny. But no seriously, I’m really hot." I mumbled trying to get up but he pulled me even closer "Charlie." I whined.

"5 minutes, please?" he pleaded.

"Ok." I sighed and he pulled me on top of him, I buried my face in the crook of his neck and he put his arms around me, caging me in. He nuzzled his face into my hair and took a deep breath.

"Would I die right now? I would die a happy man." he whispered and his hot breath fanning over my ear mad me giggle.

"No one’s dying now, okay? Can we please get up now?" I said and he pinched my side.

"Okay, grumpy girl…" he mumbled and let go of me.

I cut some fruits into a bowl, eggs frying away in the pan, when Charles walked in.

"Smells amazing, what are we having?" he stood behind me, his arms snaking around my waist pulling me into him.

"Mashed Avocado on toasted rye bread with fried eggs and a little fruit salad, with or without yoghurt, however you like it." I answered and Charles hummed.

"I’m eating so much more healthy since you’re here more often! Andrea said I don’t even need the food plan from our nutritionists." he said and I chuckled a little.

"Yeah, JK worked with me on the way I’m eating since my eat-… since the accident." I said and he kissed my cheek.

"You can say it. I know about it. I think we all kinda knew it... we just didn't know how to help you..." he whispered and I turned my head a little, looking at him. Charles turned off the stove and turned me around, leading me away from it and gently leaning me against the counter, his hands on my waist, looking at me intently.

"I just… I don’t know. I didn’t think that anyone would notice… I didn’t think it was that… that…" I rambled a little.

"You didn’t think that it was that obvious? Mon amour, you always ate healthier than most people, but every now and then you loved to have your little cheat meal, some good pasta, pizza, fries! But in that time? You didn’t eat much at all… salad was the only thing I saw you eating, some fruits but that was it… I even thought that I heard you… in the bathroom, throwing up… but I read that it could be from the meds, the trauma… but when months after the accident nothing had changed? I just didn’t know how to talk to you about it? I was- I wasn’t sure how to approach you…" Charles said and I nodded slightly.

"I didn’t know myself… I didn’t thought it was an eating disorder, I just thought it’s… I just needed to lose some weight, you know? When I heard that I won’t be driving, I let a little loose, didn’t train as hard as usually, having a nice cheat meal more often. I saw that I had gained a little extra weight, but I thought it was not much, not noticeable. But it was apparently to some people. It was nothing more than little comments first, asking if I really should have a second serving, or another bite, and I thought maybe I just ate a little too much. But yeah I always stopped then. But the looks didn’t stop… although she never said anything directly, I still always felt her eyes on me whenever I ate something… so I began to eat less and less, skipped meals. But you- umm you practically forced me to eat sometimes with your smile and praise for the food and how you said I would love it and your awaiting look whenever I took a bite… but I knew it might’ve been too much so I- I had to get rid of it. And I thought it worked… I thought I wouldn’t gain more weight, but it didn’t apparently and after I heard her… I just felt like I had to leave… and work on myself." I looked down and Charles inhaled sharply.

"Was that the reason why you left with JK?" Charles asked quietly and I shook my head.

"No, I mean it was a part of it, JK saw how my behaviour changed whenever Camille was here, how I tensed up, became more quiet, anxiety overcoming me. But no, I- before the season started? When I stayed here with you, when we were starting to prepare for our new seasons, well and then only for your season… I heard her talking on the phone, probably with one of her friends, about me… that I was a- a bulky, fat, bitch and gained so much weight over the break, how it was annoying that I always was all over you… I don’t know, I heard it and my mind instantly said I had to leave, and when I looked at myself in the mirror I realised that she was right! She just said the truth, I was getting bulky and fat. I gained not just a little bit, no I gained a lot of weight. So yeah I left. I had to. At home I could control my eating better. There wouldn’t be someone who always wanted to know how I liked the food and gave me bite after bite of different stuff to let me taste…" I said quietly and Charles dropped his hands from my waist, taking a step back. I looked at him and his face was pale "Charles? Are you…"

"That was before your accident? I didn’t knew she was horrible to you even before… when Joris told me… it sounded like it started with your accident, before it was mostly about her being now the most important person in my life… but- but you left before the start of the season because of- because of something she said?" he almost whispered and I saw his eyes tearing up "It’s my fault… It’s all my fault. Everything that has happened to you- my fault. I did this to you… It’s my fault." Charles began to tremble. A tear streaming down his cheek as he looked down in shame. I stepped closer, cupping his cheek and gently wiping away the tear, but he turned his head away.

"Hey? What do you mean? What is your fault?" I asked him quietly and he scoffed.

"Your accident! Lizzie wouldn’t I started this fake relationship, situation ship, whatever the fuck you want to call it, with Camille she would’ve never be here with us? She couldn’t say and do all these horrible things to you! You wouldn’t have left that day if it wasn’t for me letting her in our lifes! Letting her in here! Letting her do this to you! Lizzie would you have stayed here that day… you would’ve never have your accident. That is my fault. I allowed her to push you away and then you almost died. Because of me. I did this t-…" Charles began to ramble but I forced him to look at me.

"Stop! Please! Stop saying that? It’s not your fault! I could’ve said something! I never had a problem with speaking my mind! I just could’ve told you what was going on! And it wouldn’t have happen then! But I didn’t! So if you want to blame yourself? Then you have to blame me as well! Okay? Please don’t feel guilty, Charles! Please!" I said, desperately trying to make him believe my words.

"I can’t, because it’s the truth! I did this! I should’ve never allowed her in. She shouldn’t have been a part of our life. Would I just have been not the biggest idiot on earth, I would’ve told you from the very beginning that I love you. And that for me it was always you, never someone else. Just you. We would’ve saved ourself a lot of heartbreak and drama! But most of all… you would be healthy, that damn accident would never happen! So yes Lizzie, this is all my fault." Charles closed his eyes. Silent tears streaming dow his face.

"Okay. Charles. Look at me. I only say it once, okay? I could’ve said something earlier as well. You weren’t the only one feeling this way! But I refused to acknowledge it, I pretended like I didn’t feel it. So if you could’ve said something earlier, then the same goes for myself! And like I said before. I could’ve told you how she treated me! But I didn’t! It’s not your fault! Nothing of it! You hear me? Please, please don’t blame yourself! Please stop that okay? I can’t bear the thought of you blaming yourself for what happened?" I looked him in the eyes and after a long pause he slowly nodded.

"But I need to apologise… please Lizzie, just let me say it once, please. I fucked it all up. I brought Camille into our life and didn’t protect you from her. I let it all happen! I’m so sorry Lizzie!" he pulled me into him, my face buried in the crook of his neck, inhaling his scent "I’m sorry for letting it all happen."

"It’s okay. Please don’t ever apologise for it again, it’s not your fault, okay? We’re good. We’re here. You and I. Everything else doesn’t matter anymore, okay? What happened? That’s in the past…" I pulled away and smiled at him, he smiled a little before be pulled me in for a gentle kiss.

"Okay…" Charles whispered softly against my lips. I wiped his wet cheeks and then cleared my throat a little.

"And now we eat…" I said quietly and he sighed and stepped away "Here, take the fruit salad, the bowls and the orange juice, I’ll bring the rest." Charles nodded and grabbed everything, leaving me alone. My mind was spinning with Charles words, the heartbroken expression on his face. But I meant every word I said. It wasn’t his fault. I let it all happen. I could’ve said something but chose not to. I really hoped he wouldn’t keep blaming himself for something that was out of his control. I shook my head and sighed, then turned on the stove again and finished up our breakfast, plated up our food, grabbed the cutlery and followed Charles.

"I’m out here." he said from outside and I walked out on the balcony "I thought we could eat here, the weather is amazing." the table was set and I put down the plates.

"Very good idea." I said and sat down.

"Cara mia that looks amazing." Charles said with a slightly hoarse voice, it looked like he was contemplating with himself before he took out his phone, taking a picture and I laughed.

"Are you turning now into one of those influencers who post their every food?"

"No, it’s for Andrea. To show him how healthy I’m eating." he rolled his eyes a little and put his phone down, pouring me some orange juice.

"Thank you."

We sat in silence, enjoying our breakfast and the warm morning sun grazing our skin, when Charles phone began to ring, he groaned and silenced his phone.

"You can take the call?" I said and he shook his head, when his phone began to vibrate again "Okay this is ridiculous, Charles! Someone needs to talk to you, pick up!"

"Fine!" he groaned and picked up the phone "What? Yeah. I don’t. Yeah. Whatever. Thanks for nothing. Yeah. Bye." he put his phone down and closed his eyes.

"Okay, will you please tell me now what’s going on at Ferrari?" I asked and he sighed.

"I have to be in Maranello, on Wednesday…"

"And?"

"We’ll film a clip for Vista, before flying to Hungary."

"I still understand why that’s bothering you?"

"They told me to come alone. It’s only Carlos and I and the film crew. Filming is during the flight and stuff."

Now it dawned on me. Alone. Without me. I wasn’t welcome in the jet. Of course.

"That’s fine? I just fly from Nice on Wednesday, no worries, Charlie." I smiled and grabbed my phone. Searching for a flight. Just that there was a problem. There were no flights. At least not from Nice to Budapest. I had to book a flight via Munich. I was thinking to myself if I not just fly to Munich and then there jump into the private jet of Felix and Co.

"Cara mia?" Charles said and I looked up.

"Sorry, did you say something?" I asked.

"I asked if there are any flights available?"

"Oh, yeah, plenty." I booked the first flight via Munich, deciding against flying with Felix, too many questions would be asked "I just booked a flight. It’s all good, really!"

"No, if we’re being honest, it’s not good…" Charles mumbled and took my hand in his, kissing my knuckles "I’m sorry."

"Don’t worry, okay? I’ll be fine!" I plopped a grape in my mouth and he smiled a little, right as his phone vibrated again.

"What now? God!" he grabbed his phone but the scowl on his face disappeared, replaced by a soft smile.

"Should I be jealous?" I chuckled and Charles squeezed my hand.

"It’s Fred."

"Vasseur?"

"How many Fred’s do you know?"

"What is he saying?" I grabbed my glas when Charles let go of my hand to text Fred back.

"Just checking in how I’m doing, we text every now and then." Charles smiled. He always liked Fred, when he drove for Sauber the two of them were almost inseparable.

"Felix felt really bad that he kinda kicked Fred out… although Audi offered him a position within the team… but he said that he already has a new position." I said and Charles looked up.

"What? Where?"

"You’re the one texting with him? He didn’t say more… so yeah, I don’t know."

"I definitely will ask him."

"Hey cara mia. I’m leaving." Charles kissed my forehead and I slowly opened my eyes "I’ll call you as soon as I’m in Maranello. And you’ll call me when you’re at the airport and then when you land in Budapest, okay?"

"Will do." I mumbled, pulling him down, hugging him "Drive safe and take care."

"Will do. I love you, pretty girl."

"Mhhh love you too, pretty boy."

"Alright, go back to sleep." one last kiss on my nose and he was gone.

I groaned when my alarm went off and rummaged around on the bedside table until I found my phone and grabbed it, turning the alarm off. I got up, took a shower and dressed up, eating some oats and fruits while checking my flight details.

"No. No. No… fuck!" I exclaimed. The flight from Munich to Budapest was cancelled. I checked for another flight to Budapest. Nothing today. From Zurich. Fully booked. From Turin. No flights. Genoa. Departure in 1.5 hours. Marseille. Departure in 2 hours. I was screwed. I flinched when my phone rang and dropped it, answering it in the process.

"Lizzie?" Charles. I grabbed the phone.

"Hi. Sorry I dropped you."

"Thanks. Did you sleep well."

"Uhhh- yeah. Yup. Just woke up."

"What? But you have to leave in the next minutes?"

"I- umm. I’m just messing with you. I just need to put on my shoes and then I’m good to go. The car should be here any minute."

"Okay, good! Text me when you’re at the airport."

"Yup. How far away are you?"

"Not even 2 hours away."

"Alright. Then drive safe. Talk to you later. Love you. Bye!" I hung up and grabbed my iPad, sitting down. I had to find a way. After half an hour of intense searching I found a solution. But I had to hurry up. I ordered an Uber. Put on my shoes. Checked my bag if I had everything, grabbed my suitcase, locked the door and left. I got in the car and we drove straight to the airport. In the car I sent Charles a text that I arrived but had to board soon and then it was go time. I made it in time and as soon as I sat down in the plane I took a deep breath. I looked out of the window, when a little hand poked my arm and I turned around. A gorgeous little girl, maybe 4 or 5, with chubby cheeks and golden locks smiled up at me, eyes big and blue.

"Hi, I’m Elodie!" she said in French, her voice sweet as honey.

"Hi Elodie, I’m Lizzie." I said and she looked at me for a moment.

"You are pretty." she said, cocking an eyebrow.

"Well, thank you. But not as pretty as you."

"Hmm. But you are so pretty that you are in a magazine. Are you a model?"

"A magazine? What magazine?"

"My brother has a magazine with you. It’s about motorsport. Are you a motorsport model?"

"Umm- no. Not really."

"Then you just look like that girl. I was wondering why a model would fly in a normal plane and not even in front where the rich people are." she laughed and I started as well.

"You are absolutely right, Elodie."

"Elodie, leave the nice Mademoiselle alone." the woman next to Elodie said and I smiled at her.

"Oh no worries. I really enjoy this conversation."

"Really? She just starts chatting with everyone! I never know how people will react." the mum said and I smiled at her.

"I was just like her when I was her age. It’s all good."

"Okay! Thank you!"

"It’s okay. I’m Lizzie, by the way."

"I’m Marie."

"Hi Marie, nice to meet you and your gorgeous daughter, Elodie." the girl smiled at me before she looked into her book, full of unicorns and fairy’s.

"Very nice to meet you too, Lizzie. Who’s not a model but a driver." I looked at her with wide eyes "My husband and son, are huge Formula 1 fans. We have to watch every race. And my son is a fan of yours."

"Oh wow! Really?" I smiled at her.

"Yeah. They are actually in Hungary for the next race…" she said, looking at me a little confused.

"Yeah umm, the flight to Budapest got cancelled and I checked every other connection, so I’m flying to Paris and there I will catch a flight to Budapest."

"Oh. Okay? I thought the life of a F1 driver would be more glamorous." she chuckled a little and I nodded.

"Well usually it is. But it was all a little last minute. And I know that if my team principal finds out about me being here he will be a little mad. But yeah. It’s like this."

"Your secret is safe with me."

The rest of the flight I talked a lot with Marie and Elodie and when the flight attendant announced that we would land soon, Elodie already said she would miss me. We took a selfie together and she said her brother would be so jealous, that’s when I had an idea.

"You said your husband and son will be at the race on Sunday?" I asked and Marie nodded "Here, that’s my number. Tell them to give me a call as soon as they arrive. I’ll give them a tour through our garage. And maybe I can get a hold of Charles, so that Pascal will meet his favourite driver."

"Oh no! You don’t have to do that! We can’t accept that!"

"Oh please! It would be my pleasure! Please!"

"Okay. But really only if it’s okay for you?"

"More than okay!"

As soon as we were at the gate and out in the arrival hall I said goodbye to the mother and daughter duo, waving to Elodie as she walked off. I went to grab something to drink and to eat and sat down on a little lounge area and checked the flight schedule. Boarding would start in 2.5 hours, plus the flight and drive to the hotel. Great. I would arrive long after Charles. My plan on keeping the way I got to Hungary a secret just failed. And just as I checked for any texts on my phone, I realised that my battery would die soon as well and my charger was nowhere to be found. Even better.

Charles POV:

After what Lizzie had told me, the guilt was eating away at me. No matter what she said, it didn’t change the fact that it all was my fault. I began dating Camille to make myself feel better. To not completely lose my mind over Lizzie. Telling myself over and over again that I couldn’t have her. That I would ruin everything. Living with the pain it caused me looking at her, knowing that she couldn’t be mine. Never. I brought Camille into our life’s because I thought I might be able to bury my feelings for Lizzie once and for all, as long as I have someone else by my side. Someone who would distract myself from my feelings for Lizzie. But not just that it didn’t work, it only made my feelings for Lizzie even stronger, no, that someone was making her sick. Physically. But also mentally. And I didn’t notice it. Nothing. Lizzie was suffering right in front of my eyes, but I didn’t see it. And then she had to flee. And almost died. Because of me. No matter how hard I tried. I always came to the conclusion that it was my fault. All of it. The whole way to Maranello I was mad. Seething even. Not just that I found out about how I was the one to blame for her accident and everything bad that happened after, no I had to leave Lizzie now behind as well, in her vulnerable state. I saw how she was more closed off, but she didn’t want to talk about it, said she was fine, it wasn’t true, but I knew her long enough. I knew that I had to give her a couple of days to digest it and then we could talk. But that had to wait. And why? Just because of a stupid video shoot she wasn’t allowed on board? Ridiculous. It was a punishment for her criticising Ferrari openly. And a punishment for me for not calling her out when I was asked about it. I drove through the gates and parked my car, Mia already waiting. I hugged her and we walked inside.

"Alright. You have to sign a whole bunch of cards and caps. Then there’s the pre race meeting and after that the flight to Budapest." she said and I nodded, walking inside with her. I sat down at the table, two boxes full of my photo cards and 2 even bigger boxes with my caps. I sighed and began to sign each and every card and cap. Only stopping in between to drink something or to relax my hand. It felt like hours later that I signed the last cap and put the sharpie down. Mia was long gone and I checked the time, the meeting would start in 20 minutes enough time to text Lizzie and have a little snack. I waited for Lizzie’s reply while munchin on the granola bar, popping the last piece into my mouth, I swallowed and walked into the meeting room.

"Shit, sorry! I‘m late, I thought you said 12…" I hastily closed the door and Mattia and Laurent exchanged some glances. I looked around. I wasn’t late, Xavi and the rest of the team weren’t here either. Only Mattia, Laurent, Carlos, his father, his cousin and 2 other men I’ve seen before but couldn’t place right now.

"No, no! You’re not late, we’re all just a little bit early!" Mattia scratches his head and I sit down "The rest of the team will be here any minute now."

"Yeah, I guess that’s our cue to leave." English with a Spanish accent, the two men got up. They shook hands with everyone, except me, saying something in Spanish to Carlos sr. who only laughed, then they’re gone. For some reason I had a bad feeling in my gut. The way Carlos looks down in his lap, not even looking up once at me. The smug look on his cousins face, while his father looks satisfied. Mattia and Laurent avoided my gaze.

"I hope I wasn’t interrupting something?" I said it to no one in particular.

"No, no, absolutely not. We were just happy we had the three Carloses here as translator." Mattia laughed and I just nodded as the door opened up and Xavi and the rest of the team came in. Followed by Sylvia, who only nodded to Mattia and then left again. As soon as everyone sat down the meeting started.

"Charles, could you please stay for a minute?" Mattia asked and I nodded and sat back down. The door opened again and Sylvia walked in together with two other members of our PR team and Mia, who looked at me with pity in her eyes.

"Charles, we need to discuss the situation with you and Lizzie…" began Sylvia and I cocked an eyebrow.

"This is only about the representation of Ferrari." Mattia said and I was confused.

"And what part does Lizzie play in that?" I asked as Sylvia unlocked her iPad and turned it around, shoving it in my direction.

Comments from Twitter, Instagram, comment sections from sport websites, some parts highlighted. As I read them I had to stop myself from smiling. People were saying that Lizzie was right with her critique, that Ferrari should hire her as strategist, better as team principal, but also some comments about how a fellow driver could insult the Scuderia like that without any consequences.

"I don’t understand?" I said as I shoved the iPad over the table.

"Her open criticism against Ferrari and Carlos are damaging our brand." Sylvia answered "She always criticised Ferrari, but since a couple of weeks it seems more personal. As a matter of fact, since Miami."

"You mean, since we’re a couple?" I clenched my jaw.

"Yes. Look, Charles, we as Ferrari gave you the green light for…" Sylvia began but I scoffed.

"You didn’t gave me the green light, I informed you, in private, about our relationship, I didn’t ask permission." I had to contain myself. I was already on edge with everything that was going on with Lizzie. I didn’t need this now.

"Excuse me, my mistake, that’s the wrong wording, what I meant was, we had no objections…" Sylvia began but I had to interrupt her again, groaning.

"What I do in my private life is none of your concern, I don’t care if you had objections or not. It’s my relationship." I looked to Mia who only spared me a glance and mouthed a "Sorry".

"Ok, you’re a bit upset, I understand. But her comments are bad for our reputation and we need her to stop. She can’t be associated to us while saying things like this." Sylvia was annoyed but I didn’t care.

"I’m not telling her what she can and cannot say. As far as I’m concerned she’s not associated to Ferrari in any way, not since she was removed from the FDA after her accident. And the public only knows that we’re best friends and she always fully supported me. That’s it." I said bluntly and Mattia sighed.

"Charles, with the results in the last weeks, we need to keep the Tifosi happy!" he said.

"I won 5 out of the last 12 races, twice I DNFd because of some technical issues or engine problems while leading the race, let’s not talk about Silverstone, where I still managed to be on the podium. Imola and France were my fault, I’m sorry! The other 2 races I was still on the podium… how can the Tifosi not be happy with me? Because my girlfriend criticises us? That’s ridiculous!" at this point I just wanted to get up and leave, after the many mistakes on their side in the last weeks and I still showed only love and support in front of the media for my team, they still wanted more. But right now I couldn’t give me. I felt drained.

"It’s not the sports side that concerns us, it’s the noise around. So please, talk to her, Charles." Sylvia’s words are final and I got up, but before I left I turned around.

"How fragile is the state of Ferrari, if the comments from one driver, a rookie, cause such an uproar?" and with that I left, heading to the office Carlos and I spent our time in when we were here.

A couple of minutes later Mia knocked at the door.

"I’m so sorry, Charles! They didn’t tell me what this meeting was about! Otherwise I would’ve warned you!" she said and I only nodded.

"I know, I know. It’s just… I regret telling them about us. But after Laurent saw us, I had no choice." I was mad at myself.

"Maybe when you explain Lizzie the situation? She doesn’t have to stop her criticism, but maybe not mention Ferrari anymore? She could say ‘some teams’ instead of Ferrari? I don’t want you to tell her what to do or what to say, especially not when everything she says is the truth! But I don’t want any more trouble for you!" Mia almost pleaded and I nodded.

"I’ll talk to her. But can you do me favour?" I asked and Mia nodded.

"There was a meeting before our team meeting with Carlos and his family, Mattia and Laurent and 2 Spaniards, I’ve seen them before but I couldn’t quite place them? Can you find out what’s going on?" I asked her.

"I will see what I can find out. The car to pick you up and take you to the jet will be here in 1.5 hour. I thought I arrange you a separate ride, not with the Carloses and Co." she smiled at me and I turned to her.

"Carloses?"

"Yeah? Carlos, his dad, his cousin? Carloses how we call them?"

"They’re flying with us?" I couldn’t believe it.

"Yeah? Mattia, Laurent and Sylvia as well?"

"You’re fucking kidding me?"

"No? Why? What’s going on?"

"Sylvia called Monday morning, telling me that Lizzie can’t fly with us to Hungary because Carlos and I will film a spot. Commercial. Whatever. And the jet needs to be empty? Only Carlos, I and a film crew?" I was seething. Did I leave Lizzie alone for nothing?

"What? No way?" Mia sounded surprised as well and took her phone out, furiously typing away on it "So, Callo said, that it was apparently planned… but they dropped it. On Monday. Enough time to let you know…"

"I’m not flying with them. I fly from Bologna." I was pissed, grabbing my phone to check for flights.

"As much as I would want that too, it’s not an option. The media team will fly from Bologna later today and that flight is already overbooked. You need to suck it up, I’m sorry!"

"I hate it. But- okay… Thanks Mia!" I hugged her and she nodded.

"Just don’t kill anyone! See you in Budapest."

I walked up the stairs into the jet and sat down in the back, two single seats opposite each other divided by a small table. I chose the one with the back to the rest of the jet and sat down, pulling my headphones out and a book. The flight attendant handed me a bottle of water that I put in the bottle holder when she walked away. I saw the Carloses, Mattia, Laurent and Sylvia getting out of a van and put my headphones on, starting my music, leaning back in my seat, sliding down a little and closing my eyes. Pretending to be asleep might work. I didn’t want to talk to them. None of them. I heard them get in, talking about the upcoming race and a potential sponsor being present and had to bite my tongue not to groan. Another sponsor on my helmet. Great.

"Where’s Charles?" Carlos asked and I just held up my hand "Oh, hi!"

I could see in my peripheral how he walked to me, sitting down in the seat in front of me. I took off my headphones and straightened up a bit.

"Last race before the summer break. I’m really in desperate need of a vacation." Carlos said as the jet was preparing for take off and I simply nodded.

"Yeah. Same." I looked outside but felt Carlos eyes on me.

"Ok listen, I know this tension between Lizzie and me is… well it’s… what I’m saying is, you and her are friends, that’s fine. You and me are team mates, so the thing between Lizzie and me… it shouldn’t affect us, right?" he looked at me intently and I contemplated my answer.

"I’m staying in the position I’ve been over the past few weeks, Carlos. When you and Lizzie want to fight each other? Do it. But it should be fair, like I said. If she goes too far, she should be punished. But if you go too far? Then you should be punished as well. It’s as simple as that. And if I’m being asked about it? That’s exactly what I’ll say. But Carlos? Just between the two of us, you should keep some comments to yourself. Your little gentleman’s joke wasn’t well received…" I said with a firm voice and he nodded.

"I know, I didn’t meant it in that way, it was more meant as I’m not a gentleman… I should’ve known that it would sound differently. I’m sorry about that. But yeah. I can live with that." he clapped his hands and I nodded "I’ll leave you alone, I just wanted to clear the air."

"Thanks Carlos, really." I said and put back my headphones. After an hour Mattia sat down in front of me and I sat up again, headphones back down.

"Are you okay, Charles? You seem to be a little… distracted?" he asked and I had to bite my tongue, before I would just explode. I only nodded, but he kept on staring at me.

"I’m fine Mattia, really." I said and looked out again.

"Listen, no one of us has any problems with Lizzie, we know how she is, that she always speaks her mind and protects those who she loves. All good traits. But this is about Ferrari. This team has gone through a lot over the past years. We really have to make sure that the Scuderia will succeed again…"

"And Lizzie criticising the team will prevent us from success? No, I think there are other factors. A lot of other factors." I said and Mattia cocked an eyebrow.

"I understand that you’re not fully satisfied with how some of them races went. But some things are out of our control. But that thing with Lizzie isn’t one of these things." he got up and left. The rest of the flight I was staring at my phone. Time ticking away. I just wanted to get out of this jet. Go to the hotel where Lizzie would wait and hold her close. Not letting go of her. Basking in her warmth.

"Charles? We have a dinner tonight. With a potential new sponsor. We need you and Carlos to attend." were the first words from Sylvia when we arrived at the hotel.

"I don’t know if I can make it. I really don’t feel good." I lied and Sylvia sighed.

"Now is not the time to be stubborn and rebel." she said and I looked at her.

"I’m not feeling good. My head is exploding, I feel like I have to throw up any minute and I’m tired. If you excuse me. I want to go to my room and lay down. Or do you want me to go to a dinner with a potential sponsor and throw up there? Yeah, didn’t think so." I went to the reception, got my key card and walked to the elevator. When I was inside I waved to Sylvia one last time before the doors closed. As soon as I was inside my hotel room I took out my phone. Lizzie hadn’t answered any of my messages. They were all only delivered. I tried to call her, but the call went straight to her voicemail.

"Hey JK, is Lizzie with you?" he picked up after the second ring.

"No? Shouldn’t she be with you?" he asked.

"No? She took a flight from Nice to Budapest alone, long story short, Ferrari, that’s all you need to know…" I sighed and sat down.

"Charles? There was no flight from Nice to Budapest today. That’s why I had to fly via Munich as well. I flew from Nice to Munich and met up with Felix and Co. Lizzie said she would fly with you yesterday?"

"What? No. She told me she would fly today from Nice. I couldn’t take her with me to Maranello. That’s why she booked a flight. At 11:20 departure from Nice, flight number LH1246?"

"Charles that was my flight to Munich and she wasn’t on it?"

"No. She said she was on her way to the airport! And then sent me a text later on that she was about to board the plane?" I began to panic "Why is her phone switched off? Where the fuck is she?"

"Calm down. We figure it out. Let me check in with Julie. I’ll call you back, okay?"

"Okay." he hung up and I got up. Where was she? Why didn’t she answer my calls? Messages? I began pacing back and forth in the room, waiting for JK to call back.

"Where is she?" was the first thing I said as soon as the phone rang.

"Umm- we don’t know. Calm down, okay? I’ll be there in a minute."

Right after the first knock I opened up the door, JK looked at me worriedly.

"Ok, can you please not look like something horrible has happened?" JK said and closed the door "Sit down and drink something. I’m serious."

"Where is she? She should be here for hours already!" the water bottle in my hand was shaking.

"Let’s wait for a little bit longer and then… I don’t know. We’ll figure it out!" JK tried to calm me down but I couldn’t shake the feeling that Lizzie was kinda behaving a little off since our conversation about her eating disorder on Monday.

"We talked about her eating disorder on Monday… she was kinda off since then? I don’t know. I’m just… JK what if something happened to her?" I ruffled my hair letting out a frustrated groan.

"You talked about it?" JK sat down next to me and I nodded.

"She was making breakfast and I don’t know, it came up and we talked about it. She told me why she was starting to eat less and less and also… well some things that were… what I mean is, do you think that she… would she do something…?" I couldn’t even speak out loud what my mind was imagining.

"No. She wouldn’t. Believe me." JK said with a firm voice and I nodded slowly.

We sat in silence for the next 30 minutes, both staring at our phones on the coffee table in front.

"It was good, that you talked about it, you know?" JK said after a while and I looked up "Her eating disorder. I mean sure, she’s overcome it, but it was still something she kept to herself, weighing down on her."

"I think we all kinda knew, that something was wrong? But maybe we were just too focused on her walking again, then anything else?" I whispered.

"Maybe… but it’s in the past. And now that you talked about it, it’s just another thing she can come to terms with."

"You think so?"

"I know so."

I leaned back into the cushions, eyes still trained on our phones, when I got a notification. I lunged at my phone, grabbing it. A relieved sigh escaping my lips.

"It’s from Lizzie." I opened the message "Please don’t kill me. I’m on my way to the hotel now. I’ll explain everything."

"She’s alright?" JK looked at me and I nodded.

"Yeah. Thank god." I shot a quick answer back and put my phone down "Thanks for waiting with me, JK. Really!"

"No worries, mate! But now that I know she’s alright, I’ll give you guys some space! See you tomorrow!" JK got up and patted my back, leaving the hotel room.

I took a quick shower, getting into some more comfortable clothes and ordered some food. Then I sat down on the sofa and waited for Lizzie. 10 minutes later there was a knock on the door and I jumped up, open the door. There she stood. Looking exhausted, but giving me her wonderful smile. A hint of guilt in her eyes.

"Hey Charlie…" her soft voice music to my ears. I pulled her inside, shutting the door and holding her close "I’m so, so sorry! Today was a mess…"

"Give me a moment to hold you…" I whispered and she nodded. I felt the tension falling off my shoulders. The worries fading away. My body relaxed into hers and I took a deep breath, my nostrils filling with her familiar scent, calmness washing over me "What happened, mon amour? You were supposed to be here long before me?"

"My flight was from Nice to Munich and then from Munich to Budapest, but the second flight got cancelled. I thought about calling Felix that I would join them in the jet, but… I didn’t wanted them to know that we weren’t arriving together. So I looked for some alternatives. Found a flight from Paris to Budapest. So I jumped into the next flight to Paris and waited there. But my phone died, so I had to turn it off for a while, I forgot my charger at home, but yeah now I’m here and I’m sooo sorry!" she explained quickly without taking a breath once.

"You were in an airport. Why didn’t you just buy a new charger?" I had to chuckled at the look on her face "You didn’t think about it…"

"No… I didn’t. I really hope you weren’t too worried…" she looked up at me, an innocent smile on her face.

"Umm- well… maybe a little? But it’s okay now. You’re here. You’re okay. I ordered food. It should be here any minute…" I kissed her cheek and she sighed.

"God yes! I’m starving! I ate half a pastry hours ago and that was it! Let me just take a quick shower. I’m sweaty and messy." she opened up her suitcase and grabbed some fresh clothes before she disappeared into the bathroom.

As soon as the food was delivered we sat down and began eating, while watching a movie. My phone vibrated more than once. But I ignored it and Lizzie didn’t seem to notice. The knock on the door on the other hand, I couldn’t ignore. Lizzie paused the movie and looked at me.

"You want me to go?" she asked when I didn’t made a move.

"No. It’s just… I know who it will be. Just stay back, okay?" she nodded and I got up, opening the door "Sylvia." I said through gritted teeth.

"Oh good, you’re alive. I just came to check in on you, after you didn’t answer your phone. See if you feel better. To come and get you. You know, the dinner?" she said smugly.

"I’m not feeling much better, but thanks for checking in. I was actually sleeping, that’s why I didn’t hear my phone. I had a nice soup, a hot shower and then went straight to bed." I said and she cocked an eyebrow.

"Charles, this dinner is important…" she began.

"So is my health. I’m a driver. I’m here to drive. And if I’m not resting, I’m not fit enough to do just that. That’s why I will go back to bed now. But thank you, really Sylvia, I appreciate it, that you came here, checking on me!" with one last smile I closed the door. I looked through the peephole and when she finally left I turned around, Lizzie looking at me.

"So, what’s going on?" she asked and I sat down next to her.

"They pissed me off. A lot. Now I do the same." I simply said when Lizzie took my hands in hers "It’s nothing, I promise."

"And that has nothing to do with Ferrari kicking me off the jet, but Carlos family was allowed? And Mattia, Laurent and Sylvia?" she asked and I was taken aback, looking at her "Carlos posted a story… that Ferrari reposted… so yeah…"

"That promo shoot was cancelled already on Monday…" I began but she shook her head.

"It’s okay. I’m not even surprised. Don’t worry about it! I’m here now. It’s the last race. Let’s make the best out of it." she smiled at me and I pulled her into my lap, kissing her soft and pillowy lips.

"Let’s make the best out of it…"

The weekend was a disaster. FP1 and FP2 looked promising. But FP3 was a mess. I began Q1 with a bad feeling and little to none confidence. And it ended sooner than hoped and planned.

"I’m out?"

"We’re out."

"No. I’m out. I fucked up. I’m sorry."

I drove back to the pits. Parked the car and got out. Apologised to everyone and left. Julie called after me but I walked off. Away. Just away. I stopped when I had no idea where I was anymore. I sat down on a box. Head in my hands. Last week I said I believed in karma, today it got served. I was becoming too cocky. Too full of myself. And too aggressive. P16. But with the 3 places grid penalty I definitely will get for impeding Carlos? P19. Rightfully so. Today I proved to literally everyone that they were right about me. I did not deserve my seat. Not when I made mistakes like today. Not when I let my emotions get the better of me. And not when I kept driving like today. I simply wasn’t good enough for F1 like this. I groaned and got up. The least I could do now was own up to my mistake.

"Julie? Can we go?" I said quietly and she turned around.

"Sure." was all she said and we walked into the media pen.

I took a deep breath when we walked first to SkyUK and Natalie Pinkham smiled at me.

"Hey Lizzie. Out in Q3 today. For the first time this season. What went wrong out there?"

"I made too many mistakes. First I tried to push too much and spun out. Then I didn’t wait for my race engineer to give me the all clear to join the track again, just drove back on, forcing Carlos to abort his fast lap, then I already had ruined my tires and returned to the pits got a set of new ones and headed out into heavy traffic and when it was time to put it all together I had a major lock up… so yeah I fucked up today. I’m sorry for my team who did everything to set me up perfectly today and I’m also sorry that Carlos had to abort his fast lap, I’m just glad that he still made it into Q2."

"One thing I, and I’m sure everyone else, noticed is that whenever you’re doing amazing on track, when you drive brilliantly, you always highlight that 'we did it' but as soon as it’s not working out as planned you switch to 'I did it, I messed up'."

"Yeah because whenever I do great on track, it’s because my team provides me with the car to do so, with the right strategies, right set-up, it’s a team effort. I’m just driving! But when something happens like today, where my team made everything right and I made a mistake, or more than one, then obviously the only one to blame is myself."

"I said it once before, you’re really harsh on yourself, aren’t you?"

"Rightfully so. There are only 20 seats available in this sport. I’m one of the lucky ones to have the opportunity and drive in F1. Others would kill for this chance. So I have to show that I’m worth of driving here, that I deserve driving here. But today I didn’t do that, today I wasn’t good enough."

"The race is tomorrow and I’m sure you’ll show your worth then!"

"I can only try my best and give 200%."

"I’m sure you will. Good luck for tomorrow, Lizzie."

"Thank you."

I walked together with Julie back in silence, I saw how she wanted to say something but always stopped herself.

"Say it." I said after a while and she looked at me for a moment.

"You’re way too hard on yourself. Don’t look at me like that. Lizzie, just because you had so many good results in the races before, even a win, that doesn’t change the fact that you’re still a rookie! And rookies make mistakes. It’s as easy as that. Stop dragging yourself through the mud! The media is doing that enough already! You had an amazing first half of the season! You can be proud of yourself!"

"Thank you, Julie. Really."

"I just want tomorrow to be over and then summer break here I come!" I said as I leaned against a stack of tyres.

"Oh come on! One screwed up quali isn’t the end of the world!" Matt said and I sighed.

"You still have the race where you can make up some positions!" Paul smiled at me and Matt nodded agreeing.

"Exactly! You got this! I see you tomorrow! Have a good night guys!" with that Matt left and I looked at Paul questioningly.

"You’re not driving back to the hotel with the rest of the crew?"

"No. I have a lot of pent up energy… I don’t want to go back to my hotel room…" Paul said with a grin.

"Umm okay? You’re going for a run then?"

"Hmm I don’t know? But some kind of work out for sure!" he winked at me.

"There’s a gym at the hotel? You know that, right?" I asked as a slightly annoyed Charles walked up to us.

"Can we go?" he asked without paying any attention to Paul.

"Sure. Have a good work out, Paul. See you tomorrow!" I smiled at him and Charles rolled his eyes.

"You up for a drink?" Paul asked me, but Charles shook his head.

"How very nice of you to ask, but we have a race tomorrow, so no drinks for us tonight. Good night." Charles voice was sickeningly nice. Way too nice.

"That’s not what I mea-…" Paul began but Charles had already slung his arm around my shoulder and we walked off towards the parking lot.

"That was so not you?" I said as soon as we sat in the car and Charles looked at me.

"What do you mean?"

"How you declined Paul’s invitation. That was too polite, even for you. Knowing that you seem to have kind of a problem with him."

"Sorry that I don’t really like it when another guy flirts shamelessly with my girlfriend and…"

"He’s not flirting with me! Charles we talked about him being not tired and doing some work out! How is that flirting?"

Charles stopped at a red light and looked at me intently.

"Oh my god… you- you didn’t get it?" Charles laughed.

"Stop laughing! What didn’t I get?" I pouted and he groaned.

"Cara mia, you are- you really didn’t get what he was saying!"

"Okay, can you please explain it to me then?" I was getting annoyed.

"He has pent up energy? He doesn’t want to go back to his hotel room? He wants some kind of work out? The invitation for drinks was actually just for you? Cara mia he meant the kind of work out you’re doing in a bed… oh come on Lizzie! Sex! He meant sex! He wanted to hook up with you!"

"What the fuck? What is wrong with you? Just because we talked about… no. No! You’re jealous over nothing! He didn’t mean- no!" now I really was annoyed.

"Lizzie he is flirting with you ever since he joined the team! You just don’t seem to get it!" Charles groaned.

"He’s not. Okay? End of conversation!" I looked out at the window as we stopped in front of our hotel and I got out. Not waiting for him.

"Lizzie!" Charles sighed as he followed me inside the elevator.

"When you say he keeps on flirting with me for weeks now, it would mean that I have sent him some kind of signals that he thinks that I’m available… and I didn’t do that! So no! He’s not flirting with me!" my voice was shaky. The last time someone said to me I was sending out signals and was flirting with him, although I didn’t do it, or at least thought I didn’t do it, ended up with me pressed against a wall and Diaz kissing me and…

"Hey? Lizzie? What’s going on?" Charles soft voice close to my ear made me stop my train of thoughts and just then I realised that he hugged me "Talk to me? What’s going on? You’re shaking like crazy?"

"Nothing. I’m good. Tired. Exhausted. But I’m good. Sorry. Tough day. Fucking quali." I said quietly but Charles sighed.

"When will you learn to just tell me the truth? Why are you so afraid of letting me in?" we walked to our room, Charles opening the door and letting me in first.

"There is not always a bigger or deeper problem, Charles! I’m annoyed that you think that I would entertain Paul’s flirt attempts and-"

"I didn’t say that? Lizzie, it’s just… you don’t see that he flirts with you, because- Lizzie not everyone is like you. Not everyone has this crazily mesmerising smile that makes who ever receives it feel special, I mean yeah there is another smile, that genuine one, the real one only reserved for some people, but still, your smile is almost intoxicating! And the way you act around people? You’re so carefree. Fun. The sweetest. You don’t have to send out any signals on purpose. Just your whole being is enough. And that’s nothing bad. Because you are like this to almost everyone. But most of the people get that it’s just how you are. But some people on the other hand… they just don’t care… and Paul is one of those guys. He flirts with you… like crazy."

"He’s not." I groaned and Charles rolled his eyes.

"Whatever." he mumbled and took off his jacket.

"Even if he would flirt with me, I wouldn’t care? I love you! And you know that? Why are you even worried?" I looked at him.

"Because it sucks! The way he looks at you, how he follows your every move. I’m not worried that you would do something, I’m annoyed that he thinks that he has a chance! Would he knew about me, he would stay the hell away from you!" he let out and I culled his cheeks.

"I love you. YOU. And if every single guy on this planet would flirt with me, I still wouldn’t care. They’re not you. I want you. Just you. Okay?" I smiled at him and he sighed, pressing his forehead against mine.

"Okay…" Charles said after a while and I nodded.

"Okay."

I woke up and checked the time. The alarm would go off in 25 minutes, no use to try to fall asleep again. I got up and had a shower, getting ready for the day. When I walked out the bathroom Charles sat on the bed. Rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

"Good morning, sleepy boy." I said and cupped his cheek, stroking it gently.

"Morning." he mumbled, easing into my touch "Since when are you awake?"

"Maybe half an hour? I didn’t want to wake you up, you looked so cozy." I smiled at him and he yawned.

"Would be even more cozy with you next to me." he got up, stretching his muscles before he disappeared into the bathroom to get ready. I packed my bag and as soon as Charles was ready we left, driving to the track. As soon as we entered the paddock Charles was swarmed by fans, with some fans of myself waiting as well.

"At every race there are more and more fans of yours! They finally start to support you the way you deserve it, cara mia!" Charles smiled at me as we walked to the team hospitalities.

"Yeah. I noticed that. It’s amazing, really! But also scary, because now there are even more people that I don’t want to disappoint!"

"You’re amazing! You won’t disappoint anyone! You’ll be in the points today! I know it! See you later, alright? Send me a text when you want me to show up!" he squeezed my arm and I waved him off, entering the Audi hospitality. I went straight to my room and sat down. Starting today from P19. 9 positions to points. I wish I could have as much faith in me as Charles had. But I had to at least try it. I had to give my all. And then the rest would come on its own.

"Lizzie? Your guests have arrived." Julie knocked at my door and I nodded.

"I’ll be down in a minute." I pulled over a team shirt, texted Charles and then left my room, following Julie. She stood there with a quiet handsome man and a young boy, who looked just like Elodie. His eyes wides when he saw me and I waved.

"Hi, you must be Pascal? I’m Lizzie! Your mum and sister told me a lot about you!" I stretched my hand out and he took it with a shaky hand.

"H- Hi, yeah I’m Pascal…" he said shyly and I looked at his dad.

"Hi Lizzie, thank you so much for having us here today! I’m Jacques." he offered me his hand and I shook it.

"Hi Jacques, nice to meet you!" I smiled at him and we began our little tour through the hospitality first, and then through our garage. The father son duo asking excitedly question after question. Some of them even I couldn’t answer, so I always asked someone around us to help out.

"Oh hi Lizzie, who are your guests?" Paul smiled at me as I approached him and the rest of my mechanics, working at my car.

"These are Jacques and Pascal. They are huge F1 fans!" I said and the young boy nodded.

"Who’s your favourite driver?" Paul asked.

"Charles Leclerc!" Pascal said quickly but then looked at me apologetic "And right after Charles, Lizzie!"

"It’s okay, I’ll tell you a secret, he’s my favourite driver as well." I chuckled and I could see Paul rolling his eyes out of the corner of my eyes.

"Yeah he’s not bad I guess…" he said.

"Do you want to sit in my car?" I asked and the kid jumped up and down in excitement.

"Yes! Please! That would be so cool!" he almost shouted it and I laughed, helping him in my car, explaining some of the buttons on my steering wheel.

"Dude! You can’t just walk in here like that?" I heard Paul somewhere behind me and turned around, he was blocking Charles from entering the garage.

"Actually, yes I can." Charles said, walking past him, Paul was about to say something but Matt shook his head.

"Charles is the only exception, mate, he can come and go whenever he wants." Matt explained but Paul just scoffed and walked away, mumbling some incoherent words.

"I heard there is a huge fan of me here today?" Charles asked and Pascals eyes widened, his mouth hanging open.

"Oh my god! You’re Charles! Charles Leclerc! Oh my god!" he screeched and Charles bent over, helping him out of the cockpit.

"That’s me, hi." Charles smiled and Pascal just stared at him "How did you like your little tour so far?"

"It was amazing! We’ve seen so many cool things and I was in the car and then you and Lizzie and the race! It’s so cool!" the young boys excitement was contagious.

After a big photo session and the signing of literally everything Pascal could find Charles and I had to leave for the drivers parade.

"Julie will show you where you can watch the race. You can stay here in the garage or go to the grand stand or switch in between. Whatever you want to do! I see you guys later!" I hugged Pascal one last time and then left, Charles waiting for me.

"Ready? Last race day?" he asked and I nodded.

"Ready!"

I switched everything off, shaking my head. Just a little more pace at the end and it would be P9. But at least Charles was right. I made it into the points. Barely. I sighed and saw Charles walking back to me. I unbuckled my seat belt, steering wheel out and stood up.

"P6? You were leading for a while? What happened?" I asked him as soon as I got out of my car, while he waited for me.

"A shit strategy happened." was all he said as we walked to our weighing.

"So nothing new then." I joked.

"Very funny." he was annoyed.

"I’m joking. Okay? I mean not really, but…" the look on Charles face made me stop. Before I could say anything he walked off and congratulated Max, Lewis and George and I followed him.

As soon as I hugged Max lastly I looked around for Charles, standing at the side, putting his watch and bracelets back on.

"I’m sorry, I didn’t want to tease you… it’s just, they screw you over again and again…" I began but Charles just sighed.

"I know, okay? I know! I just… I don’t want to hear it all the time!" he said and I cocked an eyebrow.

"From who? Me? You don’t want to hear it from me? Or what do you mean?" I asked.

"I know that our strategies are a mess! I’m the one who’s being screwed over by it. I don’t need to be reminded constantly! And I know that I will be as soon as this day’s over and it’s all over the media… you having said your part as well then… so I just… I don’t need to hear it twice." he groaned.

"Right. Well then I guess I better go and tell the media my opinion on how my boyfriend gets screwed over by his own team, you can read it then later on." and with that I walked off.

"Lizzie…" I heard him call out but I ignored him. Walking straight back to my garage, preparing for the interviews. Or rather preparing myself to not say anything about Ferrari, even when asked.

"What do you say about the Ferraris today?"

"They finished ahead?"

"Tyre choice?"

"Umm? I don’t know? What was with the tyres?"

"They pitted Charles for hard tyres at his second stop."

"Hard? The slow as f-… slow hard tyres? Why would they do that?

"No explanation given."

"Ferrari doing Ferrari things."

"They pitted Carlos for softs."

"Did they now? Interesting. But I don’t know what their strategy was. I don’t know what they had planned. So I can’t comment on that. Thank you."

I walked away. I already said enough. I saw Charles looking at me the whole time but did my best to ignore him. I knew that he didn’t want to let his frustration out on me. And I shouldn’t be mad about it. But something about what he said had stung. I didn’t even know what. When I returned to our hospitality I went straight into my room and got out of my suit, jumping under the shower to freshen up a little. Fully dressed I sat down next to Valtteri and our race debrief began.

"Lizzie? You’re okay?" Valtteri said after a while and I looked up. The room empty, only us two left.

"Yeah. Sure." I said and stretched a little.

"Come on, what’s going on?"

"Charles and I we had a little… I don’t even know how to call it… fight? Confrontation? Disagreement?" I sighed.

"Can I ask you something?" he looked me in the eyes and I nodded "You and Charles. Something has changed. Before Miami you never really cared how you hugged each other, or how you looked at each other. But since then? You’re more cautious. Careful with what you say, careful how to behave when you’re around each other… is that because you and Charles… are you two dating since Miami?"

"Umm- I… we didn’t- yeah. We are." I stuttered a little bit Valtteri just smiled.

"I’m happy for you guys, everyone knew that there is something special between you."

"Thanks Valtteri… but umm- as you might know, no one, or almost no one, knows about us…"

"I get that. You’re already a target for the media. Dating a fellow driver? I don’t even want to imagine how they would treat you then, considering on how they treat you already. It’s not right. They’re not right in general. What they say? Bullshit. I’ve never seen someone work this hard! You spent hours and hours in the sim to understand every little vibration of the car, you spent a lot of time with the engineers to know everything about every single part so you know on what to look while driving, to give the most detailed feedback. And then the way you’re driving? Outstanding. You’re amazing and I feel like you’re not getting the praise that you deserve."

"Okay. Stop now! You gonna make me cry!" I blushed hard. Eyes getting teary.

"Crying is nothing bad. It shows that you care. That this whole thing means something to you. That this is what you love to do most."

"I guess no one of us would be here if racing wouldn’t be our first love." I chuckled and Valtteri nodded.

"Yeah. But for you it’s not just racing. For you it’s more. It’s proving yourself over and over again. Something you shouldn’t have to do, but unfortunately with the way people are treating you… yeah. It’s a lot. But you’re doing amazing! You can be proud of yourself!"

"Thanks Valtteri! Really!" I smiled a little and he shook his head.

"This whole thing, F1, being a racing driver. It’s a lot. There are things about this life, not many know about it… it’s not all glitz and glamour. I’ve seen what people write about you. The things they call you. I know how that must make you feel. I’ve been through something similar. I got a lot of shit for my weight and how it would affect my performance… so I kinda developed an eating disorder. It was all in my early days in F1, when the pressure is this high, every little comment I would analyse and think about… so yeah, I started to work out obsessively, ate little to nothing, thinking this was the right way… but it wasn’t, of course not. So, if you ever feel like this? Like these comments weigh you down, the horrible things they say? You can always call me, okay? I don’t want you to go through the same shit like me, little one!" Valtteri looked at me sincerely and I felt tears in my eyes.

"Thank you, for sharing this with me… and thank you for being there if I need you! It’s… well I had an eating disorder myself… before my accident. It was horrible. Some comments were made and I believed them. It was all in my head, I know that now. But arg the time? No, I looked into the mirror and knew that it’s too much. Too much of everything… it was a fight, overcoming it… and even sometimes now my mind goes back to this mindset, thinking that a few pound less wouldn’t be a bad thing. But I’m in a much better place now, knowing that this voice inside my head isn’t always giving the best of advice… so I don’t listen. And if it’s hard to ignore, then I’ll talk to someone, knowing that you’re now one of these people feels good, someone who’s been through the same…"

"It really feels good to know… and now, I think we’ve earned our summer break! Come one! Let’s go!" he said and got up, pulling me off my chair and I hugged Valtteri.

"Go back to the hotel, calm down, give Charles some space and he will be by your side faster than you think!" Valtteri waved goodbye when he left the room and I took a deep breath, gathering my bag and belongings and left the track. Alone. Valtteri was right, I should give Charles a little time to cool down. He would come back to the hotel when he was ready. I took a long hot shower and ordered some food, put on a movie and snuggled into the sofa when I got a text from Kika, Pierre’s girlfriend, asking what Charles and I had planned tonight. I told her that Charles was still at the track, according to his text from earlier that he would come back late and I shouldn’t wait for him, Ferrari had a long meeting tonight. She asked if I wanted to join her and Pierre but I declined politely. I wasn’t in the mood to party. I just wanted to eat my food and watch a movie. All by myself.

Charles POV:

I sat in my room. Staring at my phone. Lizzie ignored me the whole time since after the race, not once spared me a glance in the media pen. Rightfully so. I was frustrated. I was screwed over again. Lately something that happens a lot. And I let it out on her. The only one who spoke up for me. All the time.

"Charles? We’re heading back to the hotel now? You coming?" Andreas head popped in and I shook my head.

"No, I’ll stay a little longer. See you tomorrow."

"Good night." Andrea left and I shot a short text to Lizzie. Just letting her know that it would be late until I came back. I wanted to give her some space. I left the track and drove straight to a pub. A small, dimly lit, Irish pub. Couple of streets away from our hotel. I sat down at the counter and ordered a whiskey and a beer. Not that I was a fan of it, but I needed something strong and something to wash it down. After the first whiskey, the second quickly followed. The bartender was about to hand me the third when my phone rang. Pierre. I sighed and picked up.

"Pierre."

"Charles? Where are you? Kika texted with Lizzie? Asking if you guys want to come with us partying? But you’re not with her? And she doesn’t know where you are? Where are you?"

"I don’t know. A bar. It’s nice. No one cares for me here. But you know what? It’s basically like at Ferrari. No one cares for me there as well…" I downed the third whiskey, signing to the bartender for the fourth, taking another sip of my beer.

"Ok. Umm Charles, you sound a little drunk? Are you okay?"

"I’m fine. Totally fine. The Publin is a nice place. Everyone is super friendly."

"Publin?"

"Yeah it’s funny isn’t it? It’s a mix of Pub and Dublin because it’s an Irish pub. Clever! That’s what these people are! Clever!"

"Okay, Charles, stay there and have a little more fun!"

"Will do! Have a nice evening with Kika! Tell her I really like her! You’re different with her! More laid back, fun. That’s good. Really good."

"Okay, I’ll tell her. Take care Charles!"

"Take care yourself!" I hung up right as I got the fourth whiskey "Thank you."

After a while I lost count on how many drinks I had, I just finished a beer as someone clapped on my back and I turned around.

"PIERRE! What are you doing here?" I got up and hugged him.

"Taking care that you won’t do anything stupid." he said and sat down ordering a drink.

"You’re a bit late for that." I sighed and Pierre cocked an eyebrow "Where were you after the race? Making sure I won’t let out my anger and frustration with my team on Lizzie."

"What did you do?"

"Well, my besties Sylvia and Mattia wanted that I talk to Lizzie. Make her stop criticising dear old Ferrari in public? Of course I don’t want to do that because she’s just defending me. God she’s so brave! And witty. Is that a word? Witty? If it is one, it’s Lizzie. And if not, it’s Lizzie." I took another swig of the beer, emptying it.

"So you told her off and she’s mad? I honestly can’t believe that? She would be mad at Ferrari? Not at you?"

"Yeah well I didn’t tell her. But after the race. When Sylvia saw me with Lizzie and gave me her look I just knew that she would be a pain in the ass later on, so I was frustrated, I mean the race itself was frustrating enough, but yeah I don’t know, I said something to Lizzie, that she doesn’t have to tease me now with the incapability of my team, I’ll just read it later from the news, because she will have her say in it anyways… so yeah. I’m an asshole." I closed my eyes and shook my head slightly, making my world spin.

"Oh come on, she was maybe a little mad, but that’s it."

"No. I think she was more hurt than mad? Which is even worse! Oh wait I got a text… oh it’s from Max? He’s asking where we are, they rented out the VIP area at a club…"

"Don’t you think you had enough? And also, don’t you think you should go back to Lizzie?"

"I’m giving her space! And now let’s go! The night is young! Let’s have some fun."

"I’m coming! God!" I pulled one of Charles hoodies over my head and sprinted to the door, opening it to a very drunk Charles, a smile bigger than the whole sky on his face and a very apologetic looking Pierre.

"Mon amour, I’m sorry that you are so stupid!" he slurred in a very heavily accented French "It’s not your fault! It’s Ferrari! The Scuuuderia! You know? The horse team?"

"Calamar, you just called your girlfriend stupid…" Pierre whispered while helping him on the couch.

"What? No? I meant I’m stupid? Lizzie? Stupid? She’s smart! You’re a funny guy Pierre! That’s why I like you… maybe even more!" Charles laughed and I looked at Pierre.

"What the fuck happened?"

"Umm? He got drunk? Because, his words, he’s an asshole who doesn’t deserve you? And if you would never talk to him again, he would deserve it?" Pierre said and I sighed.

"You’re a drama queen, Charles Leclerc!" I said and looked at him, while he held his hands up, making a frame and looking through it.

"No! You’re a queen! A sassy, beautiful, talented, strong, smart, sexy, oh so damn sexy, amazing and gorgeous queen! My queen!" he laughed and I blushed.

"Okay, that’s my cue to leave. Good night!" Pierre kissed my cheek and Charles whined as he walked off.

"Where’s my kiss?" he pouted and I burst out laughing.

"You heard him Pierre, where is his kiss?"

"I’m not drunk enough for that."

"Oh come on, you’re French? You basically kiss everyone all the time…" I joked and he groaned, while Charles was still pouting and making grabby hands.

"I hate you. Both." he chuckled and gave Charles a kiss on his cheek "Happy?"

"Very." Charles smiled and turned around, snuggling into the pillows "Mhhh they smell like Lizzie!"

"Yeah, I should leave!" Pierre waved one last time before he walked out and closed the door.

"Charles? Come on, let’s take a shower and then off to bed, how does that sound?" I held out my hand and he looked at it.

"Are we getting naked?" he wiggled his eyebrows, or more so he tried to.

"No, you are getting naked. I already took a shower hours ago. So up up you go." I pulled him up and he groaned. I lead him to the bathroom and helped him strip out of his clothes "Stand still! You’re worse than Liam!"

"Hey!" he pouted again and I laughed.

"It’s funny how I’m not allowed to pout while you do it quite a lot…"

"Because you look hot when you pout and I look… goofy…" he said while looking in the mirror behind me.

"Okay… whatever you say." I opened the shower door and gently pushed him in "Please sit down on the bench. I don’t want you to slip and fall. Thank you. Go ahead… I’ll be right back."

Showering and dressing up a semi drunk Charles was a task I would definitely compare to taking care of a toddler and when I finally plopped down next to Charles in the bed I was exhausted. I set my alarm and switched off the light.

"Mon amour?" Charles whispered and I heard the sheets rustling.

"Hmm?"

"I’m sorry, for what I said after the race… I shouldn’t have let my anger and frustration out on you. You out of all people… I know Ferrari said that I should tell you to stop criticising the team publicly, but I’m not doing that. You’re allowed to speak your mind… and I should be thankful that at least one person has my back and fights for me. I’m sorry… I really am."

"Charles, it’s…"

"No, it’s not okay. I should’ve never said that! I can’t even tell you how happy I am that I’m having such an amazing girlfriend! I love you, mon amour." he searched in the dark for my hand and as soon as he grasped it he pulled it to his face, kissing my knuckles.

"I love you too, Charlie. And it’s okay, really! Now sleep my pretty boy." I leaned over and kissed his cheek and he pulled me into him, my head on his chest.

I heard his heart beating beneath me, felt the slow rise and fall of his chest and after a while I heard his soft snores. I laid there for some time, sleep wouldn’t find me. I had to think of his words. Ferrari told him to shut me up? To tell me to stop criticising them publicly. Probably even threatened him with repercussions, just like I knew Sylvia. Maybe I should tone my criticism down a little. Or at least I could try it. A tender kiss on my forehead made me realise that Charles was awake and I tilted my head up a little.

"You think so loud, I couldn’t sleep…" he whispered in the dark and I chuckled.

"I’m sorry! I just… I’m just so happy that it’s summer break now. I really need to reset."

"I know. It was a crazy first half of the season. The next 3 weeks are just about us. Our families. Our friends. Sun. Beach. Fun. Relaxation."

"And you’re still not telling me what you have planned?"

"Just know that the first week will be family time. We’re all together!" another kiss on my forehead.

"Sounds good."

"Yep, it does."

"Summer break. Here we come."

Little Note:

Chapter 22 - a little filler chapter with not much happening besides the Ferrari drama… next chapter: SUMMER BREAK. Sun. Fun. Fluff. A lot of fluff. No really. SO. MUCH. FLUFF. (and maybe a little … ?)

Please leave a comment/ like/ reblog/ message and tell me how you liked it! I'm dying to hear your thoughts!

If you want to be added to the taglist, drop a comment!

Last but not least, English is not my first language and although I tried my best: please excuse any mistakes I made!

Taglist:

@silkenthusiasts @eugene-emt-roe @sunny44 @itsjustkhaos @glitterquadricorn @aundercover @kakorrhaphiphobia @alittlebitofbooksandmagic @ru-kru @glitterf1 @janeholt3 @maeve-wileyy @18754389 @chiliwhore @hellowgoodbye @queensassybitchsworld @skynel09 @harrysdimple05

All the images I’m using are from Google, Pinterest and Instagram (or self made).

[theretirementstory]

03/11/2024. Bonjour tout le monde, November has arrived and the week has seen the temperatures change and we have had misty mornings. I am in Bar-sur-Aube today 😁. The weather is 7c and could possibly hit 16c, the sun is shining so with any luck the nurse will arrive early and I can have my walk to the supermarket.

J’ai été très occupé this week (is that any change) consequently the jigsaw is not yet finished, I have been lazy with cooking meals and have spent time relaxing in the chair but let me explain why.

After the shock of finding out I had to go to Paris on Tuesday, my friend rang the hospital to find out why I had to go. Turned out it was for an MRI scan, no stay over just there and back. Monday morning I had bloods taken and dressing changed, in the afternoon the man from the laboratory rang to say my white blood cells and neutrophils were very low and to wear a mask when out to avoid any infection plus if I had a fever I was to go straight to hospital 😱. Anie called to see me bringing asters from her garden as well as apple crumble (which unfortunately I couldn’t eat) being neutropenic means I have to make everything myself so that another’s persons hands haven’t touched the food.

I was up at 04:45 on Tuesday as the taxi was due at 06:30, imagine my surprise when he turned up at 06:03 😤. Anyway, we arrived, I seemed to be “fast-tracked” through and before I knew it I was back in the car. Yes I was home by 1:30pm but I was still shattered I had been up just short of 9 hours at that point.

I realised I had three injections in the fridge which were what I needed to boost my white cells and neutrophils, so messaged the doctor in Troyes (while en route to Paris) for a prescription advising the nurse to administer the injections. .

My neighbour went to the pharmacy for my medication, I had only completely run out of one lot of tablets! Then I got a message from a friend who said she would come to see me around 18:00. My reply had confused her and so she didn’t visit. I had also asked Monique to make an appointment for Dr Stefan, at the practice in town, to come and visit me on 8 November. She did that so hopefully now I will also have a doctor in town again.

On 31 October I got a photo of my two grandchildren dressed up for Halloween. My granddaughter looks so grown up it’s just amazing.

Anie brought me apples on Monday and I still had the ones Monique had brought last week 😳 so on Friday I set to and peeled, cored, sliced, froze and stewed them. The freezer is almost full of bags of apples. Got to make something other than crumble though, think I will just have them stewed with yoghurt. It was a beautiful afternoon so I had my walk to the supermarket, not knowing what I wanted to eat I bought food to make a pasta dish.

My cleaner was ill so couldn’t come to do my housework. She also informed me that she is moving to Troyes on the 7 November. Now paperwork is an absolute nightmare here in France (mind you it’s worth it for me to live in this place I love) so I have had to have my head screwed on properly to deal with it. I am keeping my fingers crossed that everything is correct.

“The Photographer” has been busy at his day job but on Saturday he went to Burton upon Trent for the first round of the FA Cup. They were playing Scarborough AFC and he was there to take photos. I prayed for dry weather which it appeared they had. “The Seagulls” were doing really well until midway through the second half when their opponents scored. Unfortunately “The Seagulls” couldn’t even the score and it would be some disappointed fans who returned home. The thing to remember is that their opponents were in leagues above theirs so no shame in the score line, plus they played really well and as we know there can only be one winner. “The Photographer” took some great photos too.

It’s busy old days at work for “The Solicitor” and “The Recovery Coordinator” weeks are flying by so quickly. It is only two months since they were here but it feels such a long time ago. Niece and nephew went to their house on Friday evening, it was a late trick or treat, looks as if everyone had fun. Grandad had even bought outfits for the children to wear.

“The Jetsetter” with the clipped wings, at the moment, is most probably perusing holiday brochures (can you still get those) or is it all on-line now?

It seems to be that the world is not such a nice place. Countries that are against tourists, places where it’s unsafe to go out in the evening (according to the press) wars, floods, droughts good heavens it is probably better to stay home. Although being a bit of an adventurous traveller in my twenties, I understand the need to visit places. I once visited a country which at the time was “behind the Iron Curtain, and I don’t mean Yugoslavia. There were lots of things that were “scary” about it but it all adds to the memories. I laugh when I see adverts for holidays to countries being lauded as “new places to visit” when my holidays there were around 47 years ago!

A bit of a surprise with the music part of the blog this week, I have chosen two women and the songs are fairly recent (well they are to me). The first song is by Leona Lewis, it’s “Bleeding Love” from 2007 and the second is by Dido, it’s “Don’t Leave Home” from 2003.

I really must make some time to lay more cardboard. I don’t have sufficient bark to put a good covering on top but will see if my neighbour can get some more for me tomorrow. The weeds are creeping buttercup, they are coming through from my neighbours garden and they are so difficult to kill off. Some have even managed to come through the bark already (only small but it’s a start). Does anyone know how to kill off these “creepers” without killing the flowers in the borders too?

PS. I have finally out the last pieces of jigsaw into the puzzle. What satisfaction that has brought me.

Another thing that has brought a lot of satisfaction to me is the beautiful cactus I bought a year ago, it has lots of buds some due to open anytime soon. I am so pleased, it is a white cactus and I just left it to its own devices after my previous cleaner, dusted it and broke off all the new buds which were coming earlier this year! I was upset then but now I am just looking forward to the flowers opening.

It also appears that the beautiful orchid I received on the 12 September now has root rot (or similar). “Not my fault Guv, I know not to give it loads of water”.

So on that sad news, I will leave while I search Google for a solution.

Bon dimanche.

[mrbexwrites]

Sibling Q&A Tag

Tagged by @spideronthesun here- thank you <3 Leaving an open tag for anyone else who'd like to do this, as my brain is not working at the moment 😅 I was going to answer this for my Memento Mori siblings, but the questions fit Mavis & Connor best!

1. Who looks the most like Dad?

Connor: Mavis. Mavis: We're twins. I feel like we both have a lot of his features. Unfortunately. Connor: You more than me, though. You have his frown, and you wear it all the time. Mavis:...

2. Who looks the most like mom?

Both: Colleen. Connor: She definitely takes after Mum. She got her eyes, which definitely helps.

3. Who eats the most?

Mavis: Connor. You've put some weight on, recently. Maybe time t cut down. You've got a wedding suit to squeeze into. Connor: Don't fat-shame me! I've been stress eating, and Hadley says my having a tummy means that there's more for me to love!

4. Who has been in the weirdest situations?

Connor: Mavis. 100% Mavis. I mean...you've met her right? She's pretty effed-up.

5. Who sleeps the most?

Mavis: Connor. He lies in bed well past sunrise most days. Connor: Some of us just sleep a normal eight hour night, and can't survive on whatever sleep they can snatch. Mave, getting less than four hours of sleep per night isn't healthy!

6. Most stable romantic life?

Both in unison: Connor.

7. Worst habit of each one?

Connor: Mavis has a lot of unaddressed anger issues. She's going to need a lot of therapy. She likes to horde tins of food, but I think that's a trauma response. She doesn't use her words to tell us how she's feeling, she'll just sulk and lash out, expecting us to know what's wrong with her. She's pretty grumpy most of the time. But she does like to keep thins neat and tidy....a little too neat and tidy. Like 'everything has a place' tidy. So, yeah... Mavis: ... Mavis: Connor chews with his mouth open.

8. Who's the most dramatic?

Connor: Mavis Mavis: Connor. Connor: Wait...! What?! How am I the most dramatic? Mavis: You cried when you got punched in the face. Connor: That's not being dramatic! That's being in pain! You're the dramatic one! You blew up an art gallery just because Arnauld was in it! Mavis: That's not dramatic. That's being thorough. Connor:...

9. Who had a weird phase?

Mavis: Connor. He went through his emo phase. With a stupid fringe and lip piercing. The long chain hanging from his jeans. The poetry! Connor: It was a phase! yes, it was super cringe, but who wasn't a total little weirdo when they were 13 years old?

10. Best cook of the family?

Connor: Mum. 100% Mum. She bakes her own bread, makes her own yoghurt. She can take anything and turn it into a banquet. Honestly, you should come round. She'll never see someone go away hungry.

11. Best memory together?

Mavis: That day we went fishing in the river, and you caught a fish. I helped you reel it in. Connor: We were five or six. That's your favourite memory of us? Mavis: *shrugs*

12. Worst memory together?

Connor: There was this one time when Mavis kidnapped me, and took me to our father. He tortured me. That wasn't great.

13. Dream trip together

Connor: Pretty much anywhere. We've been apart for most of our childhood. Maybe a camping trip so that we can have proper time spent in nature, bonding, reminiscing... Mavis: I'd rather go to Hell than go on a holiday with you.

14. Would you rather not be able to shower for a month or have the same clothes for a month?

Connor: Shower. I'd hate not being able to shower. I want to be cleeean! I could always air out my clothes, or spray them with deoderant to try to mask the smell. But I want me to be clean and fresh. Mavis: I not fussed. Done both, if I'm honest. No-one complained. Connor: It's a good thing that smell isn't something that can travel over our psychic link...!

15. Who's the older one?

Connor: Mavis. But only by a couple of minutes.

16. Role model?

Connor: Arnauld. He's so cool, and has shaped me into the man I am today. Followed closely by Gary. Mavis: Father.

17. Who usually has the worst ideas?

Mavis: Connor. He's an idiot. Connor: Says the person who blew up an art gallery !!

18. A GIANT insect is on the wall, who's taking care of it?

Both: Mavis. Connor: I'm squemish. Mavis will get it. Mavis: He usually begs for me to just trap it and throw it outside. It's easier to kill it, but he usually asks nicely, and I'm trying to be a better person, so I'll just scoop it into my hand, and throw it out a window.

[protect-daniel-james]

(Food)moodbars for some ships

(because I often associate the ships with certain "domestic" aspects, even if I never write about those).

Ange x Poch

a feast for the senses

lots of different textures that can be enjoyed through vision, taste, smell, and touch

lots of liquids and "runny" foods or dips that can be ... dripped and licked easily, or used as a dip. yoghurt, honey, olive oil, grease from the barbecue, beshamel sauce... Surely I don't have to explain how these can be used, do I?

lots of cooking happening at home at all times

Ange has an apron he wears with nothing underneath

they're both actually great cooks, and use food as a love language, comfort(ing) thing/sexual foreplay

Eddie x Jason

no time to cook

no time to eat "properly"

lots of takeouts, sandwiches, gas station foods

occasionally dinner in a local pub, but Eddie doesn't like crowds so they just stay at home and order Chinese

not exactly peak health™ but they often go without lunch or with a very light lunch since they're keeping themselves busy during the day, so they deserve a hearty/fried/greasy meal in the evening

breakfast consists of black coffee because neither of them can be bothered. besides, they go straight to the gym at the training ground, and then they just forget about breakfast and go on about their day

(Eddie keeps some treats for JT in his office desk though)

Graham x Thomas

very autumn-like?

usually very simple, often cold (sandwiches, bread, cheese) dinners, but made from super fancy and really high-quality ingredients

when the time allows (and especially in winter), they have a proper roast dinner or something similar from the Danish cuisine

when they go on long hikes, they would have the proper British fry-up for breakfast, and then stop in a random countryside pub for lunch/dinner

they just love to sit around in the evening with fancy craft beer and chill, watch a TV series, or read

Franko x Jamie

do I have to say anything? (I'd rather not)

absolutely unhinged choices

pretty much the same as leaving an eight-year-old in charge of choosing what to eat

they do unimaginable things with the food

their wives can't control their diet and they go WILD (especially Franko, Jamie still loves bacon - I assume his wife is a vegetarian or vegan and made any meat a forbidden item at home lol)

once Franko went to Everton, his eating habits went downhill - without Christine's watchful eye and without a proper home (I assume he stayed in a hotel), he ordered KFC and greasy pizza almost daily, to the point of having stacked boxes and buckets in his room (he had to quickly hide or throw them away when his Wife came to visit him. maybe he didn't bother with hiding them from Anthony, and Anthony thought it was fucking pathetic and sad for an aging man to be living and eating like this.... Frank doesn't even bother taking Anthony somewhere nice for dinner like he used to do with Mason)

[g-xix]

Heyy could u write for gib❤️

How he'd React When You're on Your Period | Aneson Gib

Uhm ofc I can write smth for bae??? Req from the lovely @awhoreforhim , feel free to request more HC's or other oneshots from me! Quick photo check:

Cutie. Alright, enjoy the rest of the story anyways:

---------------------

-I think you'd be quite nervous sort of saying and admitting it at first because you wouldn't know how he'd take it and whether he'd be helpful or kinda mean about it... He'd keep pushing and asking "What's wrong", laughing every time you came close to saying it before backing out and turning your back to him to hide your embarrassed laughter. As soon as you admitted it, all he'd say is "Oh." and laugh about the fact you found that so hard to say.

-Wouldn't know really how to help but wouldn't be panicky about it, just sort of suggest everything that came to his mind

-Goes to the fridge, opens it and asks whether you want anything. Like, he'd literally start listing off things in the fridge and checking whether you wanted each individual thing. Carrot? No. Yoghurt pot? No. Seeded bread? No. Olives- I TOLD YOU I DIDN'T WANT ANYTHING-

-Teases you a bit by getting on your nerves- never enough to make you actually annoyed or unhappy, just to mess with you. And he'd easily laugh away any hard feelings afterwards. "I bet cuz I'm a boxer I could firm period cramps better than ninety percent of women," He'd brag, and you knew fully well he was just messing with you, but feel obligated to roll your eyes either way.

-Man never cooks but when you're on your period he always tries to cook your own food instead of ordering it on Uber eats. He read somewhere that greasy fast-food makes cramps worse and so he always tries to make things at home when your on your period so you aren't eating any preservatives or other fast-food chemicals either

-Bought you a candle smelling of your favourite scent (imma say vanilla teehee) from Amazon to add to your candle collection and try to cheer you up because your on your period. Mf forgot to order on Amazon prime though, and as it came a week later when you weren't on your period, so he just kept it as a little gift for himself. 

-Randomly begins shadow boxing your stomach when your sat together watching a movie or doing other menial tasks. Then starts joking about the fact he's so powerful he didn't even need to touch you and you was already bleeding. 

-Literally so annoying but you can't genuinely get annoyed at him because you just find yourself laughing whenever he starts pissing you off. 

-He bought a bag of literally every period product he could find at Sainsbury's the one time you asked him to get you some products, then demanded a visual explanation of how a tampon worked when you took the box. You had to take a bottle of water and show how it worked by inserting it in there, and he was shocked as he watched the tampon absorb the water and almost triple in size, shaking his head in disbelief. "THAT CANNOT GO INSIDE YOU!" He would declare in sheer disbelief, marching around the flat in horror.  Never a dull time with Gibbo.

---------------------

Hope everyone enjoyed!

Feel free to request more of whatevs u wanna see, and don't forget to press all the little buttons at the bottom if u rly liked it

As always, check out more of my work on Sidemen, Beta Squad @ Chaos crew on my MASTERLIST

And if you like my writing, check my WATTPAD ONESHOTS BOOK for 50+ oneshots on the Sidemen n friends

[nnato]

🔀 mitchtonio!!!! (Ofc!!!)

Dark Side - Bishop Briggs

—

The house is silent when Antonio comes home. Mitch is still away for work but Antonio expects him back for tonight. Which is why he went out to stock up on groceries. He plans to prepare dinner for the both of them, not keen on going out and having to share his boyfriend again after being separated.

Antonio puts the grocery bags on the kitchen counter and starts to stuff the fridge. He is about to put a handful of yoghurt cups into the fridge when he hears a dull thud upstairs. Frowning, Antonio keeps still, straining his ears but there’s nothing. Maybe he’s starting to imagine things.

Just when he closes the fridge though there’s another sound.

“Mitch?” Antonio calls. Maybe his boyfriend got home early and is trying to surprise him. Antonio decides to check, just to be sure.

He goes upstairs, looking into every room he suspects Mitch could be hiding in. But nothing. Antonio is about to go back down when he hears a muffled voice coming from further down the hallway. Slowly, he moves closer to the source of the sounds, coming to stand in front a door he knows is always locked. When he moved into the villa with Mitch, Mitch had told him to use every room as he likes. Except for this one. Antonio had tried the once while being alone but found it locked. He hasn’t tried again.

Until now. Antonio puts his hand on the door handle, pushing it down. Unlike the last time, the door gives way, opening up to the only room Antonio has never seen from inside. What he finds is not something he ever expected to see.

Mitch. A gun with a silencer attached to it in his hand. Standing above a stranger who is chained to a chair. The chair has fallen over and with him the man. He’s breathing hard, his face all beat up and bloody. Mitch is pointing the gun at the man’s face. He hasn’t noticed Antonio yet.

Antonio wants to say something, wants to confront him about whatever this is. He doesn’t get a chance to. Without missing a beat Mitch pulls the trigger. There is no loud bang, only the last twitch of a body before it goes limp, lifeless. Mitch turns his head then, looking straight at Antonio. There is blood on his face too, staining his skin.

“Oh, hi babe. Didn’t expect you to be home already,” he says with a smile.

“What- What have you done?” Antonio asks, voice barely above a whisper. He keeps looking from Mitch to the man, eyes locking on the gun.

“Just finishing up a job. Can you do me a favour and wait downstairs?”

This must be a bad dream. Maybe Antonio hit his head and now he’s trapped in the worst nightmare possible? Because there is no way Mitch, his wonderful loving boyfriend, killed a man in front of his eyes without thinking twice.

“Y-You shot him. You just shot him. That’s- I don’t- Why…?” Antonio stammers out. Breathing is hard all of a sudden. He is gasping for air but it won’t come, not as much as he needs, and his body tenses up in panic.

Mitch is with him in the blink of an eye. He places the gun on a shelf nearby, taking Antonio’s face in his hands.

“Tonio, I need you to breathe with me now, okay? Nice and steady. In and out. In…. And out.” Antonio tries is best to follow the gentle voice of his boyfriend, imitates his breathing rhythm until his chest doesn’t feel so tight anymore.

“Yes, that’s my good boy. Good job,” Mitch praises, his thumbs rubbing over Antonio’s cheek. He can feel something wet on his skin and maybe he started to cry without realising it but there isn’t the telltale sign of his eyes burning or his nose running. Apart from the slight panic attack he feels fine. That is when he realises it’s not the wetness of tears. It’s blood.

Antonio eyes fly past Mitch again to the lifeless body on the floor.

“You killed that man,” he whispers, the whole expanse of the situation slowly sinking in. Not only did Mitch kill another person, Antonio also saw him do it. He is a witness. A danger to Mitch. Oh god, Mitch is going to kill him too.

“I’m sorry you had to see this. But try not to think about it, love.” Mitch leans in, pressing a gentle kiss to Antonio’s mouth. When Antonio runs his tongue over his lips, he tastes copper. Right, there is still blood on Mitch’s face. Some of it must have caught on his lips, and now Antonio has it on his own.

“How about you take a shower and I clean this mess up, hm? Does this sound alright with you?”

Antonio nods as if in trance. He doesn’t look back when Mitch guides him to their bedroom with the en suite. Before Mitch lets him go again though, he stops Antonio again, holding his hand out.

“I would prefer if you give me your phone though. Wouldn’t want you to do something you regret later, do we?”

Antonio shakes his head in answer, taking his phone from the back pocket of his jeans and hands it over to Mitch. The smile he receives for it is the same Mitch always gives him when he does something that pleases his boyfriend, and Antonio smiles back instinctively.

“Take you time, love,” Mitch says before closing the door between them. Antonio stands there a moment longer, staring at the wood while Mitch is on the other side, cleaning up. Getting rid of the body and all the evidence. While Antonio is still here, breathing, alive. Mitch didn’t kill him too.

And while Antonio should be worried, should be freaking out because his boyfriend is a killer, all he can do is smile. Because Mitch didn’t kill him. Mitch trusts him enough that he left him alone, that he wants to keep him by his side. Mitch trusts him not to run to the next police station and spill everything that he just witnessed.

It makes a rush of adrenaline paired with affection rush through his body. Antonio vows to himself in that moment to never betray Mitch’s trust. His boyfriend might have a dark side to him Antonio wasn’t aware of before but this doesn’t change him being the love of his life. Even when maybe one day there is nothing left but pain.

[waiting-on-a-dream]

My Milgram ocs as long palette names because making the twst version was fun

Based on this post from @.fivepointpalettes + later palettes. Let's go!!

Just Friends But We Kiss Sometimes - LITERALLY DAISUKE AND RYUTO I DON'T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO SAY

Let Me Be Your Unreliable Narrator, Baby! - Every prisoner lmao

Focus On Me (Ignore The Blood) - Suzume, Haku

I Touch You And My Hands Burn My Hands Burn My Hands Burn (What Have You Done) - Daisuke, Suzume

Well First Of All I Am Positive What You Did Is A Criminal Offense / And Second Of All Why Didn’t You Invite Me - Suzume (She seems like the kind of girl who would feel left out when it comes to activities like this)

What’s A Little Murder Between Friends - Rin (This is kind of mean but its funny 💀)

I’m Sorry I Chewed Through Your Walls But You Must Understand I’m Calcium Deficient / Please Be Mindful Of The Evil Yoghurt Demon In The Freezer - I don't know why but these reminded me of Ichiro

Being In Love And How It Sucks Sometimes - Daisuke, Suzume, Rin, Noa (Sad little meow meows)

Do You Remember When You Told Me That You Love Me When You Told Me That You Love Me When You Told Me That You - Suzume

I Loved You I Did So How Did We End Up Like This - Daisuke, Rin, Noa

This Will Hurt You More Than It’ll Hurt Me - And That’s Okay! - Akane, Daisuke, Haruto (They're vibing guys)

I Need You To Understand That I Really Do Want What’s Best For You - And That Simply Isn’t Me - Noa

I’m Always At Least A Little Bit Scared Hopeless And Frustrated - Akane, Yui, Noa, Mayumi (This is the opposite of girlboss)

Can You Help Me Find What’s Wrong With Me / An Unhealthy Relationship With One’s Own Identity - Ichiro, Daisuke, Suzume, Yui, Rin, Noa (They are not having fun)

Biting Into A Rubber Ball Like An Apple While Maintaining Full Eye Contact - Haruto (I think he would do this just to spite someone)

I’m Just A Normal Functioning Member Of The Human Race And There Is No Way Anyone Can Prove Otherwise - Kiyoshi, Mayumi

The Magical Princess’s Strawberry-Scented Battle Axe Of Infinite Bloodshed - Suzume

I Hate Citations Why Can’t You Just Trust Me - Suzume, Noa

Doctors Say You Need A Consistent Amount Of Sleep To Be Healthy So I Consistently Sleep For 4 Hours A Night / Too Cool To Sleep At A Reasonable Hour / I’m Sick But The Bags Under My Eyes Are Sicker / Who Needs Sleep When I Can Just Drop Dead For A Rest - Haruto (I can't- Giving him these palettes are so funny 💀💀💀)

Lonely Sewer Cryptid Looking For Love - Ichiro

The Privilege Of Being Born Somebody Else - Ichiro, Suzume, Yui, Kiyoshi (I don't like what this says about them)

Look At Her Go Biting Everyone Who Comes Near Her Like A Champ - Akane, Mayumi (One day they're gonna snap)

I Apologize If You Found Finding This Place Difficult But You Must Understand I Am Currently Evading Detection And Arrest For Crimes Undisclosed - Daisuke

And If You Thought It Was A Threat It Might Have Been - Daisuke, Suzume, Haku, Mayumi, Haruto

Putting On A Show To Seem Alive / When I Don’t Feel Alive - Daisuke

Time Has Stopped Passing A Long Time Ago - Everyone in Milgram should be getting cabin fever by now, right?

Once Again A Cold Rainy Winter Gives Way To A Cold Rainy Spring - Rin (Him and his seasons theme)

Here’s Cheers To The Man Who Stole My Heart Away - Suzume, Noa

The Sort Of Love You Only Feel When Drunk - Daisuke (Yes another 'On love' reference I can't stop)

It’s Past My Bedtime And I’m Thinking Of You - Rin

Oh Baby Don’t You Know Our Sort Is Locked Out Of Heaven - Haku, Mayumi (I REALLY don't like what this says about them)

You Have To Stop Making So Many Enemies - Haruto @ most of the prisoners (Its actually just the guilty prisoners lmao)

Keep All Body Parts On The Inside Of The Vehicle At All Times As Failure To Comply May Result In Having Them Unwillingly Removed - Haruto (This sounds like something he'd say)

Drowning In A Coffee Cup (What An Awful Way To Go) - Noa

My Overconfidence Is Astounding And It’s A Surprise I’ve Never Been Killed - Haruto (He's lucky my prisoners are all so chill)

I Understand Where You’re Coming From But Where Did You Get The Gun - Daisuke

Well That Was A Little Unnecessarily Brutal Don’t You Think? - Sender: Daisuke (He said he wasn't cut out for his work), Receiver: Akane, Suzume, Haku, Kiyoshi

Tender Words And Hellish Screams - The entirety of Milgram

You Smell Like Nonsense With A Hint Of Melancholy - Noa

I Live In A Room With No Windows / I Haven’t Left The House In Months - People are getting depression from being cooped up in Milgram for so long, right?

Forever Dizzy In This Lonely World - Ichiro, Akane, Suzume, Rin, Noa

Summer Lasts A Week At Best But My Dedication To Sweater Vests Is Eternal So Look Me In The Eye Little Teacup And Melt If It Bothers You So Much - Mayumi

You Can’t Just Ask A Guy Why He’s In Love - Daisuke

Can’t Let It Slip That There’s More To Me Than Little Old I - Kiyoshi

I Know I May Look Like A Real Person But I Am Actually Not A Real Person At All - Ichiro (I don't know what kind of mental illness he has but he sure has one or a few)

You Know How Sometimes An Unwanted Guest Comes Over And You Do All You Can To Make Them Leave While Remaining Polite / Fizzy Brained Children Are So Troublesome - Mayumi (They both apply to her so I'll put it like this even though the palettes have nothing in common)

You’re The First Descendant In A Line Of Workaholics Utterly Convinced Your Willingness To Sacrifice Your Own Health Determines Your Worth As A Human Being And Promptly Working Yourself To Death To Provide Unto Others What You Never Had A Chance To Understand You Deserved Yourself - Kiyoshi, Mayumi

I Am The Mirror In Which You Can See All The Evil In The World - Ahaha, everyone in Milgram

My Brain Operates On Frequencies You’ve Never Even Heard Of - Again, whatever Ichiro has going on /pos

Being Told I’m Allowed To Make My Final Class Project About Any Topic I Want Awakens A Demon Inside Me That Makes Me Subject My Classmates To Only The Finest Of My Obscure Interests - Noa

The Only Thing Greater Than My Ego Is My Impostor Syndrome - Daisuke, Haruto

The Cons Of Being My Friend Greatly Outweigh The Pros - Rin

You Are Who We Say You Are Because Public Opinion Beats Self Worth Every Time - Kiyoshi

Murder And Other Expressions Of Love - Daisuke, Suzume, Haku, Rin

You Locked Me In A Cage And Threw Away The Key And When You Found Someone Better I Was Left To Gnaw On The Bars For My Freedom - Suzume, Rin

What Do You MEAN There Was A Fire - Haruto (Poor warden-san)

A Little Weirdo Driven By Consumption - Ichiro

Your Love Has Brought Me To The Point Of No Returning - Suzume

Go To Sleep In The Morning And Wake Up At Noon Only To Go Back To Sleep Till Evening And Wake Up Full Of Regret And With A Headache - All that sleep deprivation finally caught up to Haruto

A Toast To Our Special Little Brand Of Sin - Milgram~!

The Man Of Wine And Cigarette Smoke / You And All Your Money That You’ve Stolen From The Poor / Thank You For Your Loss - Daisuke (His mafia side makes an appearance!)

Learn To Forgive Yourself - Noa (The only true innocent prisoner here /j)

I Don't Know What's In Your Head Why Are You Asking Me - Haruto (I can imagine the prisoners asking him what went down in their MVs and him going: does it look like I know?)

[baconandpie1]

To Taste Or Not To Taste, This Becomes The Question

One of my ficlets from #AO3

Category:

M/M

Fandom:

Supernatural (TV 2005)

Relationship:

Castiel & Dean Winchester

Characters:

Castiel (Supernatural)

Dean Winchester

The prompt: Dean has been determined. "There is something... something out there that doesn't just taste like molecules." He convinces Cas to try every food he can think of. He's finally found it. A food Cas can taste. A food Cas now loves.

But things are never easy for Dean and Castiel. Or are they?

----------------

Dean has been cooking for Cas every day trying to find something that he will finally taste and like.

He tried everything, from his famous, mouth-watering burgers, to all the pies he can imagine, steaks, and pasta, and Dean does make a mean lasagna.

And nothing.

Cas feels bad that Dean puts in all this effort, and he can still not taste anything but the molecules. He continues to try, it’s the least he can do when Dean just keeps on cooking for him.

Weeks later Dean makes lasagna again, just because he likes it, knowing full well that Cas already tried it.

Cas doesn't even think of that when he takes his first bite, so used to just taste everything that Dean puts in front of him.

He freezes, fork still in the air as a myriad of tastes explode in his mouth. Taste, texture, it's all there - the slight tanginess of the tomato sauce, the salt, the gooiness of cheese, the meat, it all bursts in his mouth in a cacophony of tastes and aromas that soon becomes a sublime symphony, the harmony between all the ingredients pure perfection.

He moans.

Dean's head snaps up, curious and then shocked at Cas's expression

"Cas? You ok, man?"

It is long moments until the angel can answer.

"Dean... this... I ... I can taste everything!"

He takes another bite and then another, pure, unadulterated pleasure on his face as he eats with his eyes closed.

Dean watches him, thoroughly confused.

They both know Cas has tried Dean's lasagna before.

Dean takes a bite of his own, trying to feel anything different, but his lasagna always tastes the same, he uses the same recipe, the same ingredients.

When Cas is done he shakes himself, literally and metaphorically, staring at Dean with wonder in his eyes.

"That was... I ..." The angel frowns slightly, "I do not even have words to describe what I felt. The Mayans had a word that comes close to it, but there is no translation for it in English. "

A moment later he smiles gummily at Dean.

"You would say - AWESOME!"

Dean is still trying to understand what's different about the lasagna he made today.

"Cas, it's the same lasagna I made a few weeks ago. You didn't taste anything then."

He gets up and gets the peanut butter jar with a teaspoon.

"Here, taste this."

A few moments later the angel grimaces.

"Molecules, Dean."

"Then what is it? I don't get it?! I didn't change anything…"

Dean 's frustration is showing through as he goes to the fridge and removes one of Sam's yoghurts.

"How about this one?"

"Dean..."

"Try it Cas, please."

Castiel does. If just to appease Dean. He is not surprised when all he can taste is molecules.

"What the hell is going on?" Dean growls, sucking on his finger that he cut earlier while chopping the onions for the lasagna sauce.

The angel's eyes zero in on his finger.

Castiel pales, his eyes switching between Dean's finger and his eyes.

"What?" Dean grumbles.

"Dean? Did any of your blood get into the food?"

Dean frowns, "I dunno, maybe, what does it matter?"

When the angel doesn't answer, he looks at his own finger and at Cas, opens his mouth to ask again, closes it as the realization hits.

"My blood."

Castiel nods, suddenly pulling away, crossing his arms over his chest.

"I am sorry, Dean."

The hunter looks at him, incredulous.

"This is awesome, Cas! You will be able to taste everything I make! "

Castiel rises, his face a blank.

"No, Dean. The experiment is over. I will never eat anything you make again. Thank you for trying."

Dean watches, shocked into silence, the angel leaving the kitchen, and he cringes when Castiel seems to shrink in on himself with each step he takes.

He doesn't get it why Cas doesn't want to taste anymore, not after he saw how much he enjoyed the lasagna. Who cares if he needs to bleed a little to make it possible? He's bled for much less important things, for strangers. A few drops of blood would be a small price to pay to see that expression on his angel's face again.

Castiel is a stubborn son of a bitch, everybody knows that, but what the angel doesn’t know yet is that he has found his match in Dean.

Dean smiles as he mutters to himself, "You will taste again, Cas. You will."

--------------------

The link to the ficlet on AO3:

[howdoyousleep3]

Hi K<3

it’s the meal-eating tinder girl? i guess you could call me that? lmao it’s been a while!!

lots have happened since i sent that ask saying that meal making tinder guy had ended things

(he reached out after like three weeks saying how he still wanted to eat breakfast with my family, yet said «uhm…we haven’t spoken in like three weeks, what do you think??🤣» when i DARED to ask if he thought we should start talking again considering HE contacted ME🙂🙂)

((aaand i don’t think i’ve mentioned this before but we do go to the same school and this man could not look me in my eyes but would send me a snap about something entirely dumb like complaining about his yoghurt every time i walked past him))

anyway, that’s not what i’m here to complain about

i’m really sorry for venting to you but none of my friends get me on this😭

but i fucking miss getting my nipples sucked:( i have TEARED UP on several occasions just thinking about it!!! and idk what to do w myself!!!!!!

i’ve tried getting back on tinder but i just cant get over how attracted to him i was😩😩 objectively he’s not that hot and NONE of my friends agree with me on this (except one, who just refers to him as «butt», cause he has a glorious one)

but like he was just so BIG and BUFF and BURLY and his fucking neck tattoo made me WEAK IN THE KNEES and i sometimes just get these flashes of him whimpering in my ear when he came and i cannot fucking deal.

i need to get a grip, this is the same man who ate three whole boiled eggs with nothing else for breakfast. just the eggs. put them in a bowl and asked if i would like to sit outside with him. so i did. sat there on the lawn while he ate three whole boiled eggs right next to me. then drove me to work and the smell followed me all day. i can still feel it sometimes.

ANYWHO thank you for giving me some of your time. do feel free to ignore this

i hope you gave a lovely rest of your day, whatever time it is when you read this❤️

🤭😂 There is so much in this Ask and it made me laugh so hard in some parts omfg. Babe! I'm so happy to hear from you, my goodness.

First of alllllll, ugh I don't like this man! He wants to eat breakfast with your family and send you snaps but won't make eye contact with you and tries to make you feel dumb for wanting to make it work again?? EWW.

UGH, babe I'm so so so sorry. 😩 As a nipple sucking enthusiast I seriously feel for you.

He had a good ass, he had neck tattoos, he was BIG and BUFF and BURLY and whimpered in your ear when he came...but we keep those as fantasies and spank bank material because we deserve better in our real relationship.

not the eggs this is so fucking funny i just started laughing and kept laughing fuck

I'm sorry it took me a while to respond to this and I hope you're feeling happy and healthy! Lub you lots. 💕