#man i struggled to finish this one since I juggled a lot of other tasks

[carrot-junior]

BROSECUTORS

Thank you @sevarix-blogs for commissioning mee:DD

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

hi yes im still alive

DON’T MIND ME, I’M JUST--

HAVING A MOMENT TO PROCESS ALL THE LORE AND STORY CHAPTER 6 JUST DROPPED ON US, I CAN BARELY WRITE

AHHHHHHH, I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS 😭 kjdbbaufbiafafvoaybo LEMME PUT ON MY THINKING CAP AND THROW SOME STUFF OUT ASDYUBUASDLI;AGVUOQIB;VI You’ll understand why I used Leona’s face here even though it’s Idia and Ortho’s chapter after you read my thoughts--

***Chapter 6 (and other main story) spoilers below the cut!***

Okay, just to keep it simple, I’ll try to keep things in chronological order!

First is a bullet point list of my thoughts on chapter 6 so far, then all my questions and theories (mostly a biggish theory on Ace) are at the end of the post.

Expectation: Idia cowering in his room, Vil and Rook busting down his door using Epel as a battering ram, dead Ortho theory confirmed

Reality: SWAT TEAM RAID ON NRC, DORM LEADERS (sans Kalim) AND JAMIL GET KIDNAPPED

Admittedly, I’m disappointed to see that the injury Grim inflicted to MC was basically just a cat scratch and nothing more. I thought it would be a lot more impactful if MC had to deal with juggling the realization that Grim has betrayed their friendship and trust while also on the verge of death (or at least while being severely injured)... And given how MC reacted to the attack at the end of chapter 5, I would think whatever struck them was much more substantial than just a cat scratch. I’m going to go out on a limb here and say either the script got scrubbed by Disney, or the intent was that MC was still woozy from VDC / OB Vil, MC felt so betrayed that it shook them emotionally, or that MC was just that weak by default that they can’t defend themselves against cat claws.

Hey, Ramshackle’s finally getting renovated! Proceeds to immediately get destroyed again--

I feel like????????? They tried to retroactively explain why Neige won to try and mitigate the uproar over how VDC ended. There’s some dialogue between the VDC group about how they didn’t perform at their peak because of having just walked out of dealing with OB Vil, and how Neige’s fans were going to vote for him anyway because they resonated with his background. Honestly, I think they should have moved on from that sore spot instead of bringing it up again, even if how chapter 5 ended didn’t personally bother me.

BOOM, HERE COME THE TWST TERMINATORS--

NOT GONNA LIE, THOSE STYX GUYS LOOK HOT SO COOL

AAAAAAND IT’S KIDNAPPING MONTAGE TIME, KIDS

JOABSFHUPAUABDBADB CALM DOWN, RIDDLE??????? YOU’RE GOING TO COMMIT ARSON IN BROAD DAYLIGHT--

Okay, I know this chapter’s focused on Ignihyde and Grim, but the standout part to me (so far) has been the scene where Leona’s being kidnapped. Historically, Leona has not been a character that I like (excluding that one time I had to pretend to like him for a game). I feel like he’s one massive missed opportunity (he didn’t show up much in chapter 2, he’s pretty similar backstory-wise to his Disney counterpart compared to the other Dorm Leaders, he didn’t seem to learn anything or become a better person even a LITTLE after chapter 2, etc.). I’m not a fan of his lazy and arrogant attitude either (even if it is justified by his backstory). But here? THIS IS THE LEONA I ACTUALLY LIKE AND WANT TO SEE MORE OF. 

LIKE????? I CAN’T DESCRIBE TO YOU HOW MUCH I LIKE THIS SCENE???? Yeah, we have Leona fighting STYX at first, but as soon as he realizes who they are, he wises up and surrenders because he knows better than to resist arrest. AND NOT ONLY THAT, but he uses King’s Roar in a smart way--to turn the falling greenhouse glass panes into sand so they don’t hurt anyone nearby (namely him and Ruggie).

And after he turns himself in????? LEONA TELLS RUGGIE TO TAKE CARE OF SAVANACLAW FOR HIM!!! THIS is what a real leader would do. He looks after himself and his people, but he knows when to surrender, AND he leaves his “kingdom” (the dorm) in good hands while he’s away. THIS is the Leona I want to see.

AJBDUASHPFBUABFIABIYFBIPFAAFIAF I ALSO REALLY LIKE HIS SASS WHEN HE JUST THROWS HIS HANDS UP AND ASDBIASBIABAIODDAYOFAIPPADAIDB SAYS “I’ll go with you, but be careful while escorting me, okay? Despite my looks, I'm a precious prince. I’ll get sick/dizzy if you drive recklessly.” SARCASTIC SASSY SMARTASS??????? IF YOU HAD MORE LINES LIKE THIS, I’D LIKE YOU MORE

I love how Azul’s still talking about capitalism/how he can profit from Idia (apparently the Shrouds are like the TWST equivalent of Google??????) as he’s being escorted away by the agents?????? IF I WERE HIM, I’D BE PISSED OFF THAT THEY INTERRUPTED MY BOARD GAME????? At least let the man finish first--

Damn, everyone’s being tasered???????? And apparently all the STYX agents are equipped with anti-magic plates? I guess Bind the Heart can just eat shit then--

Lilia’s ringtone is cute, period.

CROWLEY CALLED STYX TO CAPTURE GRIM???? GRIM IS OFFICIALLY A SCP THAT NEEDS TO BE CONTAINED????

WAIT WHAT CROWLEY’S BEING KIDNAPPED TOO??????? Oh well, the school is probably safer in Trein’s hands anyway--

askhlbfbilhidbabbidasb RIDDLE WAKES UP POST KIDNAPPING AND HE’S USING LEONA AS A LAP PILLOW?????!

How does it feel to be held in a room against your will, Jamil? Yeah, don’t like a taste of your own medicine, do you?

OH HI IDIA, NICE YZMA MAD SCIENTIST GETUP YOU GOT THERE

Wait, what????? THAT’S IT?????? SERIOUSLY???????

MAN.

I have so many questions??????? Specifically about STYX and what they do, and how the Shrouds are tied into all of it.

So they say STYX is a specialized unit called in to quell serious Overblot cases. And if Crowley called them to deal with Grim... well, bad times ahead for Grim. STYX has also been studying Overblot for a long time, which is why (I think?) they captured Riddle, Leona, Azul, Jamil, and Vil. 

There’s been some allusions made between Grim and Stitch in a lot of fan art and fan theories I’ve seen, since their struggles have some parallels: that being them struggling to decide if they are “good” or “bad”. I don’t know if this was intentional on the part of the TWST writing team, but regardless, it’s a really good concept that plays into the themes of TWST itself. There’s no good, there’s no evil, no black and white--most of the characters we see may be BASED on villains, but that doesn’t MAKE them villains. They are good, and bad, in their own ways--and now Grim is dealing with that crisis as he fights to keep his sanity and avoid completely succumbing to Overblot.

Though Idia seems to be involved with STYX’s research, it doesn’t sound like he personally gave the order to retrieve those test subjects (or at the very least, he’s not happy about roughing up the test subjects), it sounds like the orders came from other people in the organization. His parents, perhaps?

They mention briefly that Idia’s parents are asking him to “come home”, so it must be for something urgent. Are they worried about his safety? But Idia’s lines at the end of chapter 5 lead me to think he is estranged from his family, since he straight up rejected a job offer linked to them (Olympus Corp is owned by the Jupiter family, and the Shrouds are a branch family of Jupier), and says something like “I’m not welcome anywhere”. Has Idia done something to disgrace him from the rest of the family? Or is it more of a self imposed/self inflicted statement, given that he always says he’s “cursed” and acts like he’s guilty of something that deserves scorn?

Why is Idia participating in STYX research, even if it means experimenting on his fellow students (and fellow board game enthusiast Azul)? People are speculating that he wants to use blots to fully revive Ortho (if dead Ortho theory is true), or that Idia actually has heroic intentions (he wants to know more about blots to prevent OBing from happening?), but at this point??? Literally anything could happen?!

In future parts, I’m guessing Pomefiore, MC, and Adeuce will team up to break Jamil and the Dorm Leaders (except Malleus, Malleus got left out again www) out? And HOPEFULLY we get to see Rook’s Unique Magic or at least more screen time, since I feel like he got so little in chapter 5... Another thing I’d like to see is Ace and/or Epel getting their Unique Magic, or at least starting to develop it. It’s really mostly Ace I want more details for.

A theory I’ve been holding onto for a long time is that Deuce getting his UM will spur Ace on to become jealous (since he has always seen Deuce as an idiot/”lesser” than him), and that will cause a rift in the friendship, or for Ace to throw himself into a dangerous situation to prove himself (he has done it before with Riddle)... and has his ass rescued again. This would make Ace even angrier, since he feels like everyone is treating him like a little kid or rubbing it in that he isn’t “as good” as they are. I don’t know where it would go from there (I’m sure TWST would get creative), but ultimately it would culminate in Ace making amends with everyone and rushing in to save them from either Grim or Idia OB.

I don’t think Ace would discover his UM in a similar manner as Deuce (Deuce had to embrace his own stubbornness and straightforwardness, but as the term “Unique” Magic implies, the way a magic develops and manifests is “unique” to the user). While Deuce has to learn to accept his own way of thinking, I believe Ace is already sure of his own way of thinking and has totally accepted it. I think what Ace has to deal with instead is coming to terms with his fickleness. We’ve seen him time and time again treating his loved ones kind of callously, from constantly bullying MC, Grim, and Deuce to ghosting his own girlfriend and flaking on people when they are counting on him to do a task.

The issue with Ace isn’t that he isn’t aware, it’s that he is aware and he seems to think this behavior is totally okay. He demonstrates little to no remorse in what he does and says, and he doesn’t seem to care about the consequences either (how many times does he get punished by Riddle, yet he keeps doing the same dumb things over and over?). Ace appears to operate under the mindset of always being in the right, or (if he’s in the wrong), he won’t really acknowledge it, or he will wave it off as “no big deal”--and I think that’s his greatest weakness.

In the scenario I described earlier, I mentioned that Ace’s jealousy will cause a wedge between him and his friends, and I think this will play into him realizing the error of his ways. When he has finally driven away all of the people that supported him, what will he have left? Nothing. Then maybe Ace suddenly finds himself relating to Idia, or to Grim, who have Overblotted and are in a similar emotional state as he is. Confused and lonely... and that energizes him to pitch in again, even if all he has is wind magic up his sleeve. Everyone could be shocked that Ace has returned, and in that moment, he could finally realize his true potential and unlock his Unique Magic!

(Maybe that’s too specific, but that’s a scenario that I’ve had playing in my head for a long time!)

... Buuuuut given that Ace has gotten little to no spotlight so far in chapter 6, I’m not sure if they’ll lean into him developing his UM yet (unless they pull a chapter 5 and really start addressing Ace in the latter half of the chapter like they did with Deuce). Seeing as chapter 6 is dealing with a lot of heavy topics (death, Grim lore, Overblot lore), I’m thinking maybe the TWST team will push off Ace’s UM development to chapter 7???? The only way I can see it happening in chapter 6 is if the chapter is SUPER long, or if the writing is REALLY good or really bad. 

Anyway, I’m keeping my fingers crossed!!! I’m so excited for the rest of chapter 6... I hope that we don’t have to wait too long for it!

[jumpingjaxx13]

📚 📖 📓📕📒📔📘📗📙

Lol

The joke's on you. I have a ton of these and I'm about to make it everyone's problem.

Put "📓" into my inbox and I'll explain the plot of a fanfiction that I haven't written but daydream about.

(I'm gonna cheat a little. The ones with * are ones that I have started writing, but are incomplete/have been WIPs for a long time/nowhere close to being done. I feel like that counts just because of the amount of daydreaming/not writing that goes into them lol)

(Also, if there is any that someone is particularly interested in reading once it's finished, just leave a reply and I'll reach out with a link once it's published!)

This is going to be a long post, so I'll put the answer under a read more!

📚 *

Fandom: My Hero Academia

Ships: ShigaDabi (primary), TodoDeku (background, maybe)

An AU where Tenko Shimura was found by Inko Midoriya instead of AFO and raised as Izuku's brother. He winds up becoming Hawks's secretary, meets All Might and learns about his grandmother, and gets to proudly watch his brother follow his dreams. Things start to change when he meets a strange man outside of a cafe and falls for him. How was he supposed to know that Dabi was a villain!? From there, Tenko has to do a lot of self reflection and decide what he wants to do after learning about his boyfriend's identity, especially when he found out that his boss had known all along. Does he chase after Dabi? Join him? Turn him in? I'm not 100% sure how I want to end this, but I am tempted for it to lead to the "birth" of Tomura. Any suggestions would be welcome!

📖*

Fandom: My Hero Academia

Ships: N/A, maybe background Duo Holders?

Essentially an AFO origin story focusing on his relationship with Yoichi over the course of his descent. I take a few snapshots of the brothers together, starting as teens and going through to his death, and showing how their regard for each other changed. It finally ends with AFO speaking to Yoichi's grave years later. I'm a fan of DFO, so I'm going to be using the name Hisashi for him, but if/when his canon name comes out, I'll be changing it to match!

📓

Fandom: Death Note

Ships: LawLight (primary), MattMello (secondary)

An AU where Roger Ruvie dies early on in the investigation and, with the entire world under suspicion, L can't afford to replace him. Instead, he sends the majority of the kids off to other houses that Watari had built, save for his top three successors. Near, Mello, and Matt all move into the Task Force HQ and, despite L's "best efforts" to prevent it (read: he's totally just pretending to stop them to please the others), they continually find themselves thrown in the middle of the investigation. I'm also not 100% certain how I want this to end, but I do know that it's going to be endgame L/Light and Matt/Mello.

📕*

Fandom: Bungo Stray Dogs

Ships: RanPoe (past), ODazai (past, platonic or romantic), SteinCraft (past, background)

A sequel to Unstoppable Force. I've had a few people express interest in the culprit, so I've decided to write up an optional sequal that explains it. I debated not doing it, but I know that a lot of people enjoy closure, so I thought it would be fun! I invented a new villain and a new ability and I found an excuse to drag some Guild members into it as well. Essentially, Ranpo reopens the case after the funeral and uses the strange behavior of Steinbeck to corner and catch the elusive ability user. I'm personally proud of the ability I created, so I'm going to keep it a secret for now.

📒*

Fandom: Toilet Bound Hanako-Kun

Ships: TeruKane (primary)

This one is actually based on a post that has since been deleted proposing the idea of a soulmate AU where the name of your soulmate is written on the inside of your book in the Four O'clock Library. I shook it up a bit and added the idea that if you read your soulmate's name, people will begin to forget they exist and you have to confess your love to them within a week or they will disappear from existence entirely. Akane didn't think it would be a problem to go and confirm his soulmate-- it's obviously Aoi-- only to discover a very different name written in his book. Knowing his time limit, he struggles to find a loophole in the curse that would help him avoid confessing a love he doesn't feel. In the meantime, people are slowly starting to forget who Teru Minamoto is, with Akane being the only one to remember, forcing them to spend even more time together. This one is going to have a happy ending, but it's going to be a really close call!

📔

Fandom: Robihachi

Ships: Robby/Hatchi (primary)

This is a sequel to Lovely that I've been playing around with. Someone expressed that they wanted to see how Robby's father would react to their situation and that got me thinking about it. In a misguided gesture of good faith, Hatchi's parents invite Robby's family up to the moon to help celebrate either his birthday or their first anniversary. Much to Robby's surprise, they agree to come, leaving him with an awkward mess of judgement to deal with until they leave. I still haven't decided how this will end, but I know it's going to be on either a positive or bittersweet note.

📘

Fandom: My Hero Academia

Ships: EraserMist (primary; may be romantic or platonic), Tomura/Touya (secondary)

Sequel to Purpose. Kurogiri and Tomura move in with that kind hero, Aizawa, after what happened in the alleyway. It takes a lot of getting used to, but it is leagues better than living out of a hotel. Kurogiri juggles working to obtain his hero license with raising Tomura (made easier with the new help) and investigates just why that hero seemed so familiar... Later on, when Tomura enters UA, he juggles making friends for the first time, proving his heroism despite his quirk, and a concerning new crush on the hot upperclassman.

📗

Fandom: Sk8 the Infinity

Ships: MatchaBlossom (primary), Renga (secondary), ShadOka (maybe)

This one is going to go through a week of after-hours visits at Sia la Luce. Each day, someone drops in while Joe is closing up, needing one thing or another. From relationship advice to a pleasant escape to pleas for forgiveness, Joe finds himself to be the center of all of their attention. It's just a collection of seven mini-stories that are all collected throughout the span of one week in-universe. Everyone is going to give Joe a visit for different reasons and I'm excited to see how it turns out!

📙*

Fandom: Bungo Stray Dogs

Ships: Shin Soukoku (primary), Soukoku (secondary), more potentially TBA

A fantasy AU in which Fukuzawa and Mori are the kings of two rival kingdoms, Ada and the Port Kingdom (I'll probably change the names lol). Fukuzawa has no genetic heirs, but he had taken in a number of wards, one of which will be chosen to succeed him. Mori has two children, and the prince was born with a terrible curse that leaves his reputation soaked in blood. Atsushi, one of Fukuzawa's wards, is also cursed and feels that Prince Ryuunosuke is just like him; that he can be saved with some kindness and compassion. Despite being warned not to, he sneaks out and attends a ball intended to find the prince a suitor. While there, he unknowingly defends the prince from a number of attackers, which, while unnecessary, piques Ryuunosuke's interest. The two run away together, but wind up being sidetracked by an advancing enemy and wind up lost. Chuuya, a knight from the PK, is sent by Mori to go and find his son. Dazai, Atsushi's mentor and ward of Fukuzawa, is sent to go and locate the weretiger after he does not come to breakfast in the morning. Chuuya and Dazai run into each other while searching for their respective people, which leads to them teaming up to find them while Atsushi and Ryuunosuke are trying their hardest not to be found.

[elysiashelby]

In Another World - T.Shelby Imagine Ch. 18

Paring: (Eventual) Thomas Shelby x Aliena Welsh (OC)

Fandom: Peaky Blinders

Word Count: 8,466

WARNINGS: ANGST?, Vivid Murder Scenes, Cursing, “Fluff”

Summary: It’s been three months since Aliena was hired by Cassie’s father, Dom to be an assassin. Now she has to juggle her side job, a social life, and her main job. How will take take a toll?

MASTERLIST   CHAPTER 17  CHAPTER 19

A/N: So, if you’ve haven’t realized by now. Things are starting to get “bloodier”/ more violent. SEASON 2 STARTS NEXT CHAPTER!! I think I started this story this June or July, so this story isn’t even a year old yet. It sure feels like it! Well, Happy Holidays everyone and let’s hope 2021 is a better year.

The smell, oh, the smell was pungunt. 

The scent of overwhelming iron surrounded me.

My hands were covered in it. The mixture of fresh red and dried reddish-brown made the color of my skin unrecognizable.  

With wobbly legs, I made my way into the barren street. There was this continuous burn from overexertion in my thighs. The night breeze blew my hair around me and into my view.

With confident strides, I made my way to the kitchen counter. The air was humid from the oven and I was attempting to reach my destination in a timely manner, so that I can wash away this stickiness for my hands.

Then a loud whiz...passed by my ear/breezed passed me.

I sighed deeply before pivoting toward the direction of the bullet. 

I exclaimed in surprise as John's children ran around the kitchen, passing me by with enough speed that caused me to be concerned.

I bent down, reached for my gun, and fired at the person.

I shouted at them, “Guys, get out of the kitchen and play in the living room! I don’t want youse gettin’ hurt.”

With my grip firmly around the collar of the unknown man, I drew back my fist and punched him over and over again. Daylight blinded me, but I didn’t care. All that mattered was making sure this man didn’t get back up.

With the back of my hand, I wiped the sweat from my forehead and kneaded the dough over and over again. Then, Ada came in, scolded me for doing more work than necessary, and passed me the rolling pin.

A new day and I was staring out a window, the man had an arm wrapped around my throat. Even though I was in a chokehold— I wasn’t worried. The wind that rattled the leaves of the tree outside was visually pleasing. I extended my arm and then drove my elbow into his ribs. He loosened his hold around my neck, I gripped his arm, and threw him to the ground. Without hesitation, I grasped my gun from my thigh holster and fired. 

I carefully placed the rolled out dough on the platter and started smoothing it out with my fingers. 

Killing is more work than I thought, but I didn't mind it. I held it in par with making this cherry pie. 

I dusted my hands off before wiping them on my apron for good measure. 

I wiped the blood on my hands on the guy's own face. Not like he could care. Stabbing someone without stopping would take feelings like discomfort away.

I bent down and shoved it in the oven. 

I bent down as I dodged a right hook. I sprang back up and returned the favor. I grabbed the stunned man, quickly elbowed him in the face, and flipped him on his back. While still having a grip on his arm, I snapped it, dropped it as he screamed in pain, and then put a bullet between his eyes. 

I watched as the life drained from his eyes. 

I watched as the pie, slowly, began to brown.

Another day, another “mission.” I can’t tell you how many people I’ve killed since I’ve began in May. Three months have past, and I have to admit— it felt like I was completing a job every other day. I know I’m exhausted, but this thrill—! It was like a drug and I’m an addict. 

The burning in my lungs hardly bothered me anymore as I was chasing down my latest target. He sniffed me out. Paranoid, he was, just like it said on the profile. He was just quicker than me. Noticed when I was pulling out my gun. The squirrely bastard!

I need to get this done quickly ‘cause I have to make another pie for Ada. She wanted one for her family ‘n said mine tasted too good to get one bought. I sympathized with her given her situation, and caved. Freddie was getting worse, no sign of getter any better. Despite that, he was still up and about. 

I stopped running, stilled my body, steadied my gun, and fired. He crouched, flailing his hands in the air while crying out in fear. I groaned in frustration, my cheeks puffing out. The chase resumed. 

It didn’t take long ‘til we were running across the hills. I noticed that his pace slowed and I decided to slow down with him. He was still running while I was speed walking. More like marching because of the steepness. I fired again and he fell to the ground.

Not a millisecond later, he was wailing loudly. Meaning, he was still alive. I rolled my eyes and marched right up to him. He was cradling his leg, blood seeping through his hands. 

“God, you fucking bastard. Why’d you have to run?” I moaned. I let out a loud exhale, as I tipped my head back, and shook my arms. 

He stuttered. “Please! Please don’t kill me!” 

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. I felt disgusted by his actions. I mean what kind of person do you have to be to get a mark on you, and then snivel like a little baby. It’s not just him. There’s been like six other guys who've had the same reaction. Oh, and two women.

Women targets don’t happen often. I’ve only received four orders to take out a woman. So far…

“You see. I might have had some mercy if you hadn’t fucking ran!” I said mockingly. 

“Oh, god! Someone! Someone help me!” 

I widened my eyes and began shaking my head. I took a deep breath and picked up my head. “Help! Somebody help him!” I shouted. I looked back at him and shook my head. “Nobody is out here, William.” 

“Please.” He stuttered again. “I have children.”

I pursed my lips and shook my head. “And…”

“I-! I have to look after them.” He cried out.

I shrugged my shoulders. “Why should I care?”

He shook his head. “No! No!” He held up his blood soaked hands, covering his face while scurrying back.

I just watched him with a blank stare. 

Then, he stilled and said. “Wait, wait! I have money!” He swallowed harshly. “I can give you money. I have… a lot of money.”

I prodded my cheek with my tongue before I asked. “How much?” I raised my eyebrow while lowering my gun.

He stammered for words. “200 pounds. No! 400!” 

I dramatically blinked and waivered the aim of my gun. I was getting 23,500 for this guy! ‘I’ma fuck with him.’ I thought.

I smiled and said. “Alright, let’s go get it.” 

I saw his face contort in relief. “Really?” He shouted.

I nodded, still smiling.

He struggled to get to his feet, and once he did— he glanced down at my gun.

I let out a little “oh” and pretended to tuck in the back of my pants. “You first.” I motioned him with my free hand, and watched as he hobbled past me.

I let him walk a few more steps until I felt like it was time to stop playing. I raised  my gun again and pulled the trigger. My head cocked slightly to the side as I watched his body fall to the ground. 

I sighed audibly and walked over to the body. I kicked him to face upwards and crouched down. I stared at his figure. A bullet hole in the middle of his forehead. Eyes open. He was kind of handsome. 

“What a waste.” I muttered to myself. I rose back up and tucked my gun in the back of my pants. I took the guy’s coat off and laid him on top of it then used it to pull his body back to the car. It wasn’t my car. It was his. Dude thought that he was getting lucky tonight.

I posed as an upper class citizen at some horse meeting event. I wore a blonde wig and some equestrian clothing. I acted posh and nobody noticed a thing. This man liked his women on the bossy side and that’s what I gave him.

Anyway, I had to get to the nearest payphone to tell Dom that the job was done. He would send someone to get rid of the body along with my payment. Then, I would get a ride back home.

And that’s exactly what happened.

I was stitching up a jacket of Finn’s while watching my pie bake. I can’t express how tired I am. I keep sticking myself with the needle, but… I needed to fix this up. Finn only has so many suit jackets and most of them were hand-me-downs.

My sleeping schedule was thoroughly fucked. The adrenaline from this morning's events was wearing off and that meant exhaustion was going to take over soon. 

 I covered my mouth as I yawned before I finally finished up the last stitch. I threw both the needle and the jacket on the table, and then rubbed my eyes violently. I rested my elbows on my knees as the palms of my hands were digging into my eyes. I wasn't causing myself any pain, but I was aware of the pressure it brought. 

I sniffed loudly before rising to my feet quickly, making the chair screech. I turned off the oven and then walked away. I read somewhere that if you leave your pie in the oven to cool down for around five minutes, then it does something to it. To this day, I don't know what it does. All that matters is that it lowers the risk of me getting burnt, and I have a few extra minutes to finish or start my next task. 

I walked back to the couch where I continued to fold clothes. I would have to deliver the boys' laundries to their respective homes. Tommy moved out as did Arthur. The family had enough money for it. The only people left in the main house were Polly, Finn, and myself. 

I didn't have time to adjust to the change. I'm just so tired by the time I walk into my room. The feeling of security Tommy brought with my knowledge he was just in the room over, was gone. My insomnia and paranoia would have acted up, but like I said- once I step into my bedroom, I practically black out. 

I moaned while dropping my arms and my head while closing my eyes, a shirt still in hand. I craved sleep so badly. I huffed as I quickly folded up the shirt and threw it into a pile.

The Shelby’s had no idea, to the best of my knowledge, that I was taking long breaks for well, my “missions.” I took every opportunity to do work outside of the shop, and even lied to them. Told them that I had a date or two. Sometimes they were even successful, and so far I’ve had two imaginary beaus. We always broke up, though. One was because the dude was boring, and the other because he said my heart wasn’t in.

The only reason I was allowed these “dates” is thanks to Polly. Tommy argued against letting me have them, but they had a private talk ‘n well… You know who won.

I marched over to the oven, put on my mitts, and pulled it out. I carefully removed it from the mold and onto a plate. Then, I covered it up with some napkins. Ada would pick it up when she dropped by, or Polly would use it as an excuse to go and see her. 

Speaking of Polly, I have to run and tell her that the bloody thing is done! I jogged into the shop and shuffled quickly over to Polly.

“Pol, Ada’s pie is done. I’ve left it on the counter.”

“All right, I’ll be taking it over to her flat when work is done.”

I nodded. “Well, I’m gonna get back to the laundry.”

She nodded. “Okay, love.”

I nodded one last time before marching back into the living room and began finishing up folding. I let my wander aimlessly as I did so. 

I recalled my latest kills and daydreamed about my stories. Some of them involved Tommy. He was always the anti-hero or the straight up villain. 

Also, since I have less time to myself— I’m not drawing, painting, or writing all that much. So, all of these plotlines are just in my head. They get so scrambled ‘n loud ‘cause I don’t have music to really express them. 

I heaved a sigh as I threw the last pair of pants onto a pile. I sorted the piles into their respective baskets, threw on a coat, and then began my journey. John’s house was first. I didn’t do his laundry all the time. However, this was one of the rare times that Esme wanted me to work for the family again. 

It would irritate me so much that she was practically working at the betting shop full time with John and would leave the kids running around at all hours, but now— I had my hands full. It would seem Katie is back to being a mum to her younger siblings. 

When Katie opened the door for me, I was bombarded in kisses and hugs. It really did make my heart swell. I stayed for a chat ‘n then left. I still had to deliver Arthur and Tommy’s laundry. And cook dinner as well! For both Tom and the main house! 

You’d think with how exhausted I am that I would just make the scran and scurry off to my room, but my body wouldn’t let me. I’d rather eat and it tastes like nothing than go to bed with an aching, empty stomach. 

John lived in the opposite direction of his brothers which made the walk longer and my annoyance grow with each step. I tried taking calming breaths, but— that almost never works. 

I knew he wouldn’t be home, but I knocked out of courtesy ‘n waited outside for like ten seconds. I put the basket down, scrambled to get the key to his flat, unlocked the door, and slid his basket in. I locked back up, picked up Tommy’s basket, and then went on my way.

I let out a big yawn as I walked. I covered it with my hand as best as I could. Didn’t want to be seen as improper! Believe me, I wish I wasn’t self-conscious about when I yawn, but there’s trauma behind it. 

Teachers should really mind their language when correcting a child that isn’t theirs. God, it infuriates me even now the way I was treated. They had no right doing what they did. Saying what they did!

I rolled my eyes and felt my annoyance rise along with the presence of a headache. I grumbled under my breath.

‘Idiot, now you’ve gone and given yourself a headache!’ I thought as I began to quicken my pace. 

I knocked at Tommy’s door, again out of courtesy. I knew he wasn’t home. I grabbed his key, unlocked the door, and walked right in. I ran up the stairs and into his room where I set his basket down on the bedroom bench. I dusted my hands and hurried down the stairs. My breasts bounced as I did so. 

Look, I was just painfully aware that they did so as I made my way down, okay?

I walked right to the kitchen and checked his refrigerator. I let out a sigh of relief when I saw that he had eaten the dinner I had prepared for him the night before. 

It meant that I didn’t have to throw out good food. 

I studied the ingredients in his fridge, that I jam packed, and settled on fish and chips. I took out the ready-made fish cuts, grabbed a bowl, filled it with hot water, and then set the cuts in there to defrost. I left the hot water running. I grabbed a couple of potatoes, washed them, and then began peeling. 

It would take me quite a while to get this done. And, I was expected to make dinner at the other house too!

God, I want to go to sleep! 

A whine slipped out as I stomped my foot. 

What we do for things we want to do, eh?

By the time I was done cooking, the sun was down ‘n my stomach was attacking itself. I sighed heavily as I used the tongs to place the chips on his plate. I twirled around to place the pan back on the stove, wiped my hands on a napkin, and then grabbed the salt shaker. I turned back and sprinkled some more salt on the chips. Then I stood there. I stood there and looked at the meal I made for a man who might not even eat it. 

I bit my lip and started wringing my hands tightly. After a grueling, ‘should I, should I not,’ I sat down in front of the meal abruptly and dug in. I don’t know why, but the meal tasted so much more flavorful than usual. I haven’t had fish and chips in ages, but it wasn’t that. Maybe it was the exhaustion or the fact that I made this meal in mind of another person, but the flavors just popped. 

I’m just glad that my serving sizes reflected my mother’s. Which basically meant that I cooked enough food for, at most, another two servings. When I finished eating, I washed it all down with a cup of water then I had to plate again, and wash the plate I ate from. 

When it was all said ‘n done, I made a beeline for the couch and flopped down on it. I grunted from the impact and groaned even louder. Everything ached!

I flipped ‘round, kicked off my heels, and let my hair down. I carelessly threw the pins on the little table next to me, and brought my knees to my chest. I tucked a couch pillow between my head and arm, the hand of this arm would be tucked under the pillow as my arm would rest on top of that one. Basically, the fetal sleeping position with a hand tucked under the pillow. 

This was usually the only way I could go to sleep.

I let my eyes flutter shut and made a promise. ‘Just for a few minutes.’

“Ali.”

…

“Ali!”

I sat up with a sharp gasp. My heart was poundin’ out of my chest. It felt like a panic attack. I looked up at Tommy, who was standing over me. 

“Have a nice nap, Ali?”

I just focused on getting my heart rate down.

While rolling a ciggie across his bottom lip, he asked. “There a reason why you’d be so tired? Who was it that you’re dating now? Brian? Henry? No, James! That’s his name.” His tone sounded so sarcastic that I found it to be cruel. 

It felt like he was judging me.

I scoffed as I rubbed my eyes. “His name was Joseph and we broke up like a week ago.” I watched him sit down, his elbows resting on his knees. “You know what, why do you even care?” 

I couldn’t even get my point across as he interrupted me with a sharp scoff. He took a short drag before saying, “If it affects your ability to do your job, then yes, Aliena. I care.”

I averted my eyes and replied through a semi-hidden pout. “But it hasn’t affected my job.”

“What else do you call this nap?”

My head snapped toward him and I threw him a look of pure confusion. “I was tired, Tom! Why else does one take a fucking nap?”

“Why would you be tired?”

I raised an eyebrow as I scoffed. “I had-! I didn’t sleep last night, okay! I-I’m…” I groaned as I threw myself back against the couch ‘n threw an arm over my eyes. 

It was a big lie. I was asleep for like three hours! I had to get everything ready and exercise in preparation for today’s target. Time passed quickly and before you know it I had to make breakfast ‘n then work in the shop for a little.

I knew I won this little squabble when I heard a sigh. I barely managed to register it by the way, but I heard it, nonetheless. 

“Right, well. Today it’s your insomnia, but tomorrow it can be because of something else.”

I squinted my eyes as I tried to decipher what the fuck he just said to me.

“Perhaps, it would be best if you put off dating for a while. Seems like you’re having bad luck as it is. Focus more on your job.” He heaved as he rose to his feet and began walking to the kitchen.

It was like his words finally registered as I rushed to my feet and shouted after him. “Hey, what’s up with you?”

“Nothing is up with me, Aliena.” He replied as he was pulling out his chair and sat down.

I noticed that he hadn’t poured himself anything to drink. I groaned loudly raising my arms as I did so, and marched back into the living room. “Yes, there is!” I shouted. “You’ve got a cob on ‘n you’re taking it out on me.” I poured him some whiskey and walked back to the kitchen. “You know what, you’ve been cross abar me goin’ on dates from the beginning! Why? You and the rest of the family were beggin’ me to find a fella ‘n now— what? You’ve had a change of heart.” 

I slammed the whiskey down in front of him. I placed my hands on my hips and asked teasingly, a smile on my face as well. “Do you not like the idea of losing me, Tommy? Is that it? Afraid I’m going to be whisked away by some fella? Or! Do you want me to be more independent? Thinkin’ more modernly, lately, or what?”

Tommy had raised the glass to his lips, but set it back down by the time I was done talking. He gave me this deadpan stare that did not help my giggling. 

We continued to stare at each other. While he was donning an emotionless expression, my dumb-arse was flinching up a storm. Whether it was twitches from my head or my hands. Plus the incessant laughing and ever changing facial expressions. Eventually, when my face and stomach began to hurt— I nipped my bottom lip harshly and took a deep breath.

It was then that I noticed that his jaw was clenched. I couldn’t figure out why for the life of me. I averted my eyes and took a seat. My eyes kept drifting back to Tom as I waited for him to say something, but he just kept his stoic expression for a while more. Tommy sniffed and cleared his throat as he removed the napkin covering his food, and took his utensils into his hands. 

I wanted to scoff, but something was telling me that he didn’t say anything for a reason. 

‘Maybe he refrained from humiliating me?’ I thought, trying to rationalize his behavior.

I took a deep breath before saying, “Well, fine, Tom. You win. I’ll lay off the scene for a while.” I crossed my legs and pulled my dress down. I leaned forward and rested my head in my hand. 

Tommy took a swig of whiskey before he said. “Polly rang and said that you didn’t have to worry about making dinner. Said that you looked pale when you came back from your break this evening, and that she had a suspicion you would doze off at one of our flats.” 

I chuckled as I drummed my fingers on the table. “Am I that predictable?”

Tommy looked me in the eyes and said. “Yes, you are.” 

I sat up straight, my smile falling from my face. 

Silence enveloped us, and I felt the urge to run and cry in more room grow by the second. I cleared my throat and rose to my feet. “Well, I better be heading back. Good night, Tommy.” I turned around and began making my way to the entrance.

However, I didn’t get ten steps in before Tommy called after me. “Wait!” His chair scraped along the tile loudly behind me.

I stopped where I stood and slowly faced him. His head was hanging and he was holding himself up by his arms. 

Tommy looked up at me and tsked. “Stay. … For a little while more.” 

I scrunched my eyebrows. “Did you need something, Tommy?”

He breathily replied. “No. Just. Want you to stay a little while more.” He hung his head again by the end of his words.

I gave him a small smile. “Okay, then. I’ll stay.” I walked back over to the chair and sat back down. As did he. 

I figured he wouldn’t like me just watching him as he ate, so I resorted to talking to him about my days. Just like old times.

I guess I managed to loosen him up a bit because he brazenly began to ask me about my romances. I, of course, told him the exact same things I’ve told Polly. To the T. I couldn’t afford to add on since they probably talk about this with each other, as they did with everything else.  

I managed to make him laugh twice. And, of course, it was at my expense. Bastard.

I noticed that Tom was done eating, so I rose to my feet while reaching for his empty plate. “All done, Tom?” I asked as I walked around the table and to the sink.

He let out a quick, “Yeah.” 

So, I cleaned the dish. There was a short comfortable silence before Tommy stood beside me ‘n cleared his throat. I wiped the plate dry while glancing at him through my peripherals.

Tommy took an audible breath before asking, “How is Freddie?”

I averted my eyes at the question. I sniffed. “He’s… He’s not getting better, Tom.”

Tom took the plate from my hands, which made me stare up at him. Emotionless, he was. “Tom…”

He cut me off, asking, “Has Ada told you anything? Or have you heard about his condition from the doctor?” 

I swallowed as I watched him put away the plate in the cupboard. “They, uh…” God, I was awful at this. And because I was talking so much, my fatigue was up again. “The doctor said that Freddie has a more severe case of the disease, and that he has anywhere from six months to a few years. Can’t tell, he said.” I crossed my arms and hugged myself. I muttered. “Said you can never know with tuberculosis.”

Slowly, Tommy leaned on the sink. His eyes were wide, his jaw slack. He looked vulnerable and… heartbroken. It broke my heart to see him like this.

Before I could even utter a word of my sympathies, I was being pulled into his arms. His breath was tickling my neck, so I had to bite my tongue harshly to prevent myself from giggling. 

The last time he was like this, he found out that Grace had been the traitor. I don’t know why, but I wasn’t expecting Tom to be so affected by Freddie’s illness. The two had just been so cross with each other that the fact they used to be best friends completely went over my head. They were childhood friends, at that. Maybe if I’d seen the relationship they had, I’d be more sympathetic, but… I can’t say Freddie’s illness bothered me to this extent. He was simply sick...and dying. 

Freddie only lasted a season, so there wasn’t much time to get his character development ‘n such. Even if he had, I’d doubt that I’d grow an attachment to ‘em. Freddie was borderline abusive, in my opinion. He reminded me of my sister’s ex-boyfriend, the one who touched me. I’m not saying Freddie is capable of molestation, but from what I remember about the day Polly went to see him at his mother’s grave— everything he did after that didn’t sit right with me. Plus, the time where he took his anger out on Ada while she was pregnant. 

Nobody is a saint, but those actions spoke volumes to me ‘n I grew wary around him. I’m not saying that he deserves to die. He doesn’t. But, nor do I care much about his ailment either.

I ran a hand through his hair, bringing him closer to me, and he did the same to me. I can’t deny that I shivered from the action, his cold hand running through my hair. We were hugging so tightly that I could hardly breathe. 

“Tommy!” I gasped out. I waited for a response, but he gave me nothing. I called his name out again and again and again. 

“Please.” His lips smacked. “Just-! Just a little while longer.”

I hummed and rubbed his back. 

Tommy let out a sigh before saying, “Nobody came back the same. Nobody. Freddie… Freddie took a bullet for me ‘n what have I done, eh? What have I done with that chance he gave me?”

Though, I wanted to respond. Though, I wanted to comfort him and silence the noise in his head. I knew better than to interrupt someone in a rant.

“We-We used to be so close, you know. He was my best mate, but I made a promise to meself that I’d change. I’d change this family for the better. I’d protect it better. Freddie! Freddie wanted to change the world, still. Still wanted revolution. But a war like that takes time and- and connections and money.” He scoffed. “It’s not happening in this lifetime, that’s for sure. Status, money, and violence is what makes the world go round. Not justice and pretty words.” He laughed, dryly. 

He couldn’t see with my face hidden in his neck, but my face contorted harshly. I felt like crying from his words. His tone was so strained and full of pain.

“But, it seems that there was still some part of me that hoped that he could do it. That he and Ada could change the world. And now, now… I’m losing him to the same fucking disease.”

Greta, he was talking about Greta.

My mouth moved before I could stop it. “Greta, right?” His hold on me loosened, and funnily enough— the separation allowed for some fresh air to squeeze in.

He hummed in confirmation. “Who blabbered to you about her, eh?”

“It was Freddie, actually.” He held me tight again. When he didn’t say anything else, I took it as my turn to speak. “You know, Tom, you’re right in acknowledging that you all came back different. You focused on the small, your family while Freddie focused on the big, the government. Nobody-!” I sighed while averting my eyes. “I don’t blame you for that. I’m sure you both actually held the same dream.”

“What dream would that be?” He whispered.

While I didn’t break the hug, I shifted us around so that I could cradle his face. “To protect your family.” His eyebrows furrowed and his lip quivered before he left out a snicker. “What!” I exclaimed. “Okay, maybe not just your family, but you know what I mean! Families all over.” He was still snickering as he bent down and hid his face in my neck. “Oh, do one. You know what I meant, Thomas Shelby.”

Once his snickering was under control, I added. “You know, it’s not too late to make amends. He’s still running around London, preaching of his revolution. Plus, there’s always the chance-!”

“No, no there’s not, Ailena.” His head shot up and his hands held my face. My hands, on reflex, went to remove his grip, but I took a deep breath and rested my hands on his. “He’s not miraculously gonna get better. You said it yourself. The doctor said his condition is severe.”

I hummed and muttered “is right”. There was a silence that dropped between us again. But this one was different. His eyes kept glancing up and down, but at what? ‘Was there something on my face?’ I wondered as I was admiring his eyes. I could never get tired of looking at his baby blues.

But then reality interrupted as he cleared his throat and dropped his hands from my face. We both took a step back, and I shyly hung my head. Then, I started rocking on my heels till I made finger guns as I walked into the living room. 

Tommy said. “Thanks for…” 

 I cut him off. “You don’t have to thank me, honestly.”

“Well, then. At least let me take you back to the ‘ouse.” 

I chuckled loudly. “Fine then! But I’m warning ya now, I’m super tired, right now. That means I’ma talk your ear off!” I grabbed my coat off the hanger as he opened the door for us.

Tommy scoffed while holding the door open, his head tipping back and a grin on his face. “Like I’m not used to it.”

“Ha!” I shouted while twirling around to face him as he was locking the door. “Az if! It’s been a while since you’ve had to deal with me at night.”

“Sure, but doesn’t mean that I’ve forgotten the experience. That sort of damage lasts a lifetime.” 

I gasped and smacked his arm.

I was thinking about Tommy’s smiling face as I traced the rim of my martini. 

I didn’t focus on the lavish scene around me. I was wearing a black wig that had the cut of a bob in a red dress. I was standing at the bar of this hotel. People were seated in tables behind me, their conversations were loud over the soft music playing. There were a few people and couples standing at the bar with me, but they were far away from me.

Ever since Grace, he’s been more serious. Keeps more things bottled up. I mean I don’t blame him. Probably feels that he needs to be more guarded since it was so easy for Grace to infiltrate, you know? Maybe I hurt him too. 

I laughed to myself, a hand hovering over my mouth. I took a couple of stumbling steps, making sure it looked like I was having a hard time standing up straight. While I was playing the part of a drunken damsel, nothing could break the concentration I had on my black clutch.

Tonight’s target was a poor excuse of a human being who liked to take advantage of women. Rough sex, rape, the whole fucking sha-bang! He’s been known to take a drunk woman up to his room and have his way with her. Practically gloated about it.

“Hello, pretty lady. All alone tonight, are you?”

I let out a soft, “Ha!” I took a swig of my drunk before facing him. “Wouldn’t you like to know.” My words were purposefully slurred.

“I would very much.”

God, he was so not my type. I was gonna have to put my mouth on his. He has a mustache too! Well, if Tommy looked like Cillian did in Free Fire— I wouldn’t be opposed to it.

I scoffed before giving him a sultry smile. “Well, I am. Alone.”

“Ah!” He drawled out while closing the distance between us.

He smelled rancid. I bit my tongue to stop my face from contorting in disgust.

“How about I buy another round for us, huh?”

I kept my smile as I replied. “That would be great!”

I had to entertain this guy for a while till he suggested that we should do somewhere more private. That meant going up to his hotel room. I accepted and “drunkenly” walked with him to the elevator.

I did nothing as he slammed my limp body against the wall of the elevator as basically inhaled my mouth. I let him grope my body and my only solace was knowing we would be in his room any second and the grip I had on my clutch. 

The elevator finally stopped and he took a step back from me. I panted for breath as I covered my mouth. He looked down at me as if he’d won something. As if he was saying, “There’s more where that came from.”

He yanked the gate of the elevator back and tugged me forward. I said nothing and followed him. I clinged to his arm as he led us to his room. Once he opened the door, he was on me again. 

I could feel him bend down and his hand tapped my thigh. I jumped on his command and wrapped myself around him, clutch still in-hand. He walked us into the room, slamming the door shut using his foot. Then, he walked us over to the bed and threw me on it. 

I groaned on impact and I let my clutch fall to the ground. He climbed over me, pressed his mouth on mine, and started to hike up my dress. My hands clawed at his. I desperately tried preventing him from hiking up my dress. 

‘I am still in control.’ I thought.

I did a quick maneuver, so that I was on top of him.

“What the fuck!”

“Please.” I said. “Let me take care of everything.”

In an instant, the look of anger vanished from his face into a shit-eating grin.

“You want me this badly, huh? Well, go on. Get to it.” 

I kissed him a couple of more times before I began to unbutton his shirt. I left a trail of kisses behind. Then, swung my leg off of him. I rose to my feet. I pretended to take off my heels, but I was really picking up my clutch. 

I could hear his exciting panting which told me he was focusing on the pleasure and not on me. I quickly opened my clutch and took out the syringe. I let my clutch fall to the floor twice to mimic the sound of shoes falling to the ground.

I walked to the end of the bed, keeping the syringe hidden by holding it vertical in my palm against my arm. I placed it carefully by his feet and then began taking off his shoes. 

When his feet were bare, he finally spoke. 

“Hurry up, will you? For fuck’s sake.”

I uncapped the syringe, stuck it between his big toe and the second, and then emptied its contents. I watched as horror contorted his face. His eyes went wide as his jaw slacked. 

I cleared my throat as I wiped my mouth. I walked over to where I left my clutch, picked it up, and laid it on the bed. I could hear him let out pathetic little gasps. I leaned over his face, his eyes looking up at the ceiling. 

“Don’t worry. It’ll all be over soon. In a few minutes, actually.” I looked at him and felt nothing. With my finger, I stroked his cheek. “I’ve been ordered to make your death look natural. I don’t know why nor do I care to know. However-!” I gripped his chin and made him look at me. “I know you were a very bad man who did very bad things, especially to women.” I smiled and while pursing my lips I said. “See this as your karma.” I chuckled while letting go of my grip on his chin. 

The same time I rose to my feet, I could hear the laughter of men.

‘What the fuck? What were they planning a gangbang?’

I reached down and slid out the knife I hid in my heel. I quickly turned around and slit his throat. He instantly started gurgling. Two men entered the room, not altered. They came in while talking to one another. I held out an arm to steady my aim and then threw my knife at one of them. 

The man fell to the ground while barely clutching his chest. 

I made work of the armchair between me and the man still standing. While he had taken out his gun, it wouldn’t help as I launched myself from the chair, my knee hitting his chest, and knocking him down. 

I took the gun from his grasp, turned ‘round to the man who was holding my knife, and fired two shots. One to the heart and one to the chest. 

I looked down at the man with my heel on his throat. “Are there more coming?”

“Fuck you.”

I pressed down harder. “Are there more coming?” I shouted.

“Yes.”

I shot him in the head, hurried over to the door, and then crouched down. I could hear men approaching. They were talking loudly, probably exchanging orders. I waited until one came into my view. 

There were two of them. I grabbed the one closest to me and his gun went off. He turned to me to which I did not waste the opportunity to shoot him twice in the chest. The other guy used that time I was focused on his partner to grab my wrist and move my gun away from his head. With a grip still on my wrists, I grunted out in pain as he began to deliver blows to my side.

I whipped my head forward and then back. He cried out loudly. I fought to free myself from his grip. I managed to twist myself around in his arms and send a blow to his inner thigh that had him buckling. I gained some control just in time to shoot the man who was walking in, but his grip on me was still strong. He rose to his feet, threw my arms on top of the armchair, and disarmed me. 

I quickly elbowed him in the face and his head flew back. I composed myself and readied myself for his next attack. He tried punching me, but I blocked it. He attempted it again, but I grabbed his wrist in time to notice the figure creeping up in my vision.

I made the decision to flip up onto the ground, effectively avoiding machine gun fire. I kept my grip on his arm tight to the point where he was moaning in pain. I guided us up and used him as my shield. My focus was completely on the man holding the machine gun. 

The man I was holding was begging his comrade not to shoot, but I was more concerned by how close he was getting. I walked us forward, threw him to his friend, and quickly sent the man who was holding the machine gun— a punch to his face. I quickly latched onto the machine gun.

The man I threw, sprung back up and before he could attack, I sent him flew back with a kick to the chest. I elbowed the man holding the machine gun again which made him hold onto the trigger. I aimed to gun at the other man, killing him. I couldn’t help but smile as he was sent back with his hands flailing in the air.

The man who was attached to the gun got a grip on my hair. I grunted in pain as he twirled us around to a different airchair in the room. I got a better grip on the gun and drove it into his chest. He let out sharp yelp. I hit him with the gun again, this time in the face.

Though I felt an arm wrapped around my neck, I kept my cool and drove my elbow into his torso. He groaned. I gripped the arm that was wrapped around my neck and then used my other hand to get a grip on the back of his neck. I flipped him off me and onto the armchair. Which he fell off of. 

I didn’t waste anytime retrieving my knife back, kicking the body off of my blade with a disgusted cry. Once I slid back in my knife, I hurried over to the body, scooped up some of his blood, and smeared it on my face and chest. I, also, grabbed a gun and finished off the other two I had knocked out.

I walked into the hallway and when the voices of men were near my proximity— I began crying out for help. 

One of them held me in his arms. I tried my hardest to appear distraught and pleaded with them to help the man I had killed. The man holding me led me to the elevator and promised to get me to safety. 

As we were on the elevator, my hands skimmed over his second gun in his waist holster. 

‘That’ll come in handy.’

When the elevator ride was over, he sat me down and ordered me not to move. As he turned away, I took the liberty of relieving him of his gun. I was on my feet not a heartbeat later. I blended in with the stampede of people who were rushing to get out of the hotel. 

When I separated from the herd, I reached down, tore a piece of my dress and hopefully, wiped away the blood on my face. I ran down two streets to nick a car.

It would be an understatement to say that I’m angry.  

I yanked off the wig I was wearing as I was driving, pins ‘n all. I ruffled my hair out while huffing. My eyes drifted to the middle of the car, looking for a clock. I groaned when I remembered what time period I was living in. 

With one hand threaded in my hair and the other on the wheel, I just focused on getting to the mansion as fast as I could. 

I was going over my conversation with Dom in my head before it happened.

Was I going to accuse him of not giving me all the Intel on purpose? Was I going to swallow my anger and just demand proper compensation for the additional kills? Would I even be  docked pay because the hit was ordered as a natural death, and it ultimately was very fucking messy?

I huffed and finally placed both of my hands on the wheel while increasing my pressure on the gas. 

I pulled up to the mansion with a screeching halt. I ignored the henchmen that came toward me and tried to prevent me from storming the place. I made a beeline to Dom's office and hurt anyone who got in my way. 

I pushed open the double doors so harshly, they slammed against the wall. 

"We need to talk." I demand. 

I could hear the beginnings of spluttering behind me. "S-Sir! We tried to stop her, but the orders and sh-she fought back."

Dom didn't turn around as he continued to gaze out the window. A glass in his dominant hand. With a flick of his wrist, he said. "Leave us."

His henchman attempted to plead so more, but Dom repeated himself— louder this time. 

With a clear voice, I said. “There were other men.” I let out a huff and sucked at my teeth for showing my emotions so blatantly. “He orchestrated nonconsensual orgies! I took out the ones that posed a threat.” I let my voice trail off as I began to rub my wrist incessantly.

“How many?” He asked.

I swallowed silently as I tried to recall. “Not including the target, seven extra kills.”

“Were you hurt?”

I furrowed my eyebrows at the questions. Of course, I had to fight for my life. Of course, I was hurt. “Uh, yes. I was dealt a few blows but I didn’t sustain any slashes or gunshot wounds.”

“No, Aliena. Were you hurt?”

There was an insinuation behind his words that I understood perfectly. “No.” I whispered. “No, I held my own.” 

Dom finally turned around and I could see the anger in his face. It was subtle.

I remember a time where I swore I could never read faces. But I don’t know ever since I woke up here, my body hasn’t been the same. Maybe it was this body, or perhaps it was all that time I spent with Tommy.

He slammed his glass down, which made me flinch, and then leaned against his desk. He let out a shuddering breath before he sniffed loudly, stood up straight, and pointed at me. “The target was an important one for which you would have been paid 25,500. However, now it will be 43,800. Now, leave. I’ll have Richard give you the payment tomorrow.”

I was stunned for a second before I bowed and left the house as fast as a cat running out of a rainstorm. It wasn’t until I was out on the road that I realized that I had bowed to him as if he were some fucking king!

‘Damn you and your kinks! You bloody better beaut!’ I thought. My actions spurred on my “tics” or fidgets, I call them. I was repeatedly flicking my nose, scrunching up my face, and smacking my hand over my mouth. They calmed down after a while. Exhaustion was eating me up as was pain in my side.

The fucker really got me there.

Usually, I would have ditched the car a few cities back and just run on back home, but I was so tired. I ditched the car down a hill where I knew there had been water at the end and marched back home with my wig in hand. 

When I was finally standing in front of the flat’s door, I groaned to myself. I slapped my cheeks repeatedly as I prepared myself to get back into stealth mode. I made sure to step on certain spots on the floor to decrease their squeaks, and open and close doors at a snail’s pace. The stairs were the hardest. Switching between taking one and two at a time. 

By the time I entered my room, I’d ripped my clothes off me and thrown them and my wig aside. I carelessly put on a night gown and settled myself into bed. Fortunately, soon after my head hit my pillow I was asleep.

“Aliena, love! It’s time to get up!” Polly shouted as she pounded her fist against my door.

I shot up and realized I was awake now. My face contorted as I began to sob, my arms crossing over my eyes the same time as I threw myself back down on my bed.

I whimpered out. “I’m so tired!”

TAG LIST: @amirahiddleston @nemesis729​ @salvatoreitmeanssaviour @tlfshelby1 @halepea @lilymurphy03 @marsfireeyes @masumiyetimziyanoldu @i-love-superhero​ @thatweirddaydreamer​ @xxbeckybeexx-blog​ @ilikealotofpeople-younotsomuch

[violetnotez]

They find out their s/o is a Party Princess

@memekingofwwiii , you had this fricking adorable idea of Izuku and Shoto fighting with y/n, and then she says she’s gotta leave to put on a dress and go to a tea party, and that got me thinking-What if they left because they were a Party Princess??? So of course as I was in the middle of writing it Tumblr POSTED it, so I had to redo it 😖 but I hope you like these!!!

Pairings: Izuku x reader, Shoto x reader

Scenarios (more like mini fics cause I DONT KNOW WHEN TO STOP TYPING-)

——————————

Izuku

“Hey Deku, you doing okay over there?” You yelled out, swinging your fist towards the thief’s side.

Both you and Izuku were patrolling the city today, as you two had interned with the same agency for the summer vacation. Everyday had been pretty boring since starting the program a few weeks back, but today you had finally found some action: two thugs trying to steal a poor old lady’s purse.

“Doing-just fine-how about you?”He grunted, sending a sharp kick at his opponent’s back, sending him to the ground. Izuku quickly toppled on top of the young man, tying his hands and feet together with some scraps of rope on the ground. Once he was happy with his work, Izuku quickly stood up, looking over at you to see you fighting alone against the other thief. He quickly broke into a run, trying to go and help you as quickly as possible

Throughout the few weeks interning alongside you, Izuku had begun to form a small crush on you. At first sight he had thought you were unbelievably pretty and couldn’t help but blush when seeing you. But as he began to hang out with you, you were quite possibly one of the coolest people he had ever met. You were so kind hearted and sweet to anyone you met, always taking the time to give them a warm greeting or a bright smile. It made his heart race seeing you wave to children on the road, being so gentle with them when they came over and asked if you two were really heroes. You could also be a total bad ass when you wanted to, your snarky remarks and devilish grin making his chest tighten and his heart race.

Right now, though, you were having some trouble, as the thief you were trying to apprehend was giving you a hard time. You swung another fist towards his chest this time, which the thief dodged easily. You grunted under your breath, annoyance and worry riddled in your brows.

“Can we-hurry this up a little!” You shouted between breaths. “I kinda got-places to be right now!”

The man scoffed at you, cracking his fingers. “Nah, sweetie, I’m just getting started!”

You rolled your eyes, hating how the word “sweetie” was directed towards you-but as the thief was busying himself with his knuckles, you sneaked a peak at the time- your party was in 45 minutes...if you got this wrapped up in 5, you could maybe run home, clean up, and drive to the place and might be there on time-

Noticing your distracted stance, the thief began to lunge at you, his large hands aimed for grabbing your head in a deathlock. Luckily, Izuku sprinted over just in time to propel his body at the man, tumbling on the ground as he pinned the thief’s hands on the ground.

“Deku!” You ran over to him, helping him as you pinned the man’s wrists together. That allowed Deku to tie up the thief a little bit easier, the struggling making it quite difficult to even tie a simple knot. But Izuku finished his work very quickly, pushing off the villians back as you let go of his wrists.

You looked at the greenette’s freckled face, his warm grin and bright eyes causing a soft blush to creep on yours. You had to admit it to yourself that this boy was unbelievably handsome, even if he didn’t realize it himself. And the fact that he has just saved you right now-your heart practically stopped at the idea. You wished you could stay longer with him, hating to leave Izuku with the boring task of watching the two thiefs before the police arrived, but you were seriosuly cutting time extremely short.

“Thank you, Izuku,” you said, your breathing still irregular from fighting, “for saving me like that.”

The boy chuckled nervously, his hand rubbing the back his neck. “Oh, your welcome y/n, it-it wasn’t much, youd do the same-“

Before he could register what was even going on, he felt your hands around his back and your body pressed up against his. Izuku’s brain practically began to malfunction-you were-hugging him? He was never this close to girls,or you for that matter-he could feel how soft your hair was, how wonderfully fresh and sweet your perfume smelled, even how your chest pressed up against him- his cheeks burned bright at that thought, his hands too shaky to wrap around your waist as his eyes were blown wide out of his sockets.

And just as quickly as you had hugged him, you let go, totally oblivious to the blushing mess you had turned Izuku into. Izuku busily tried to hide his cheeks as you quickly whipped your phone out of your hero suit, a curse slipping out of your mouth.

“I’m gonna be late!” You sighed in frustration.

Midoriya blinked a few times, confusion set on his face- “Late for what?” he asked innocently, his eyes wide with curiosity.

“I gotta be at a party-there’s some, entertainment going there that cant be late-“

“Oh, like a magician? I didn’t know you were excited for those type of things,” Izuku asked, watching the two delinquents on the ground.

“Actually, no, not like that,” you stated with a giggle, I’m the entertainment, I’m a party princess-

Izuku shook his head in confusion and looked at you with his eyes wide. How did he not know this about you?

“I started this summer to get some extra cash,” you continued, “it’s been kind of a struggle though juggling my scheduele with the internship. But I’ve been having a lot of fun dressing up and making these kids’ days...I just hope I won’t be late for my next party,”

“When is it?” He asked, his cheeks rosy with the thought of you in a pretty ball gown. He knew you were a kind hearted person, but you going out of your way to make a little child’s day extra special was something he found so endearing. He felt himself fall in love with you just a little more, a small smile gracing his lips.

“In 30 minutes,” you huffed, “I’ll barely have enough time to wash up and get into costume-“

“Well if it’s any help, I’ll stay and wait for the police, I don’t won’t you late for your event,” Izuku gave you a nervous smile, the green in his eyes sparkling like gems.

You gasped in relief, your smile wide as you gave Izuku another hug. “You’re the best Deku!” You yelled, giving his firm body a tight squeeze.

Before you ran off to get yourself ready for your gig, you gave Izuku a kiss on his cheeck, sending his soul over the moon. He was so thankful you ran off so quickly, because you would have deifnitely noticed the red encasing his whole face as his cheeks tingled in the place where you kissed it. He would never get use to your touches, but god did they feel nice!

——————————

Shoto

Shoto was currently helping you train, his intense tasks making you pant from near exhaustion. You knew Shoto would force you to your limits, but god-this boy was merciless.

After you had seen how agile and flexible Shoto was while fighting, you worked up enough courage to ask him to help you train. It was something you admired from afar deifnitely not from checking him out, and you were extremely relieved when he had said yes.

But right now, he was totally destroying your ass.

“Cmon, y/n,” he panted out, “I know your stronger than this.”

his hands were pinning yours to the ground: one icy and one warm.The bi-colored boy had somehow thrown you to the ground yet again, his taut body on top of yours as your cheeks flushed with color from being so close to him. You were so thankful you were also red from over exerting yourself, so he would have no idea you were blushing from being so close to him.

“Well, considering you’ve been throwing me around like a rag doll this whole time,” you quipped tiredly, “I think I’m allowed to be a little tired.”

He cocked his head in confusion, the tips of his red hair melding with his white. “If your tired, why didn’t you tell me to stop?”

Shoto knew you were getting exhausted, but he had been perplexed on why you didn’t tell him you didn’t want to continue. He was having a nice time with you, your movements keeping him on his toes and your snarkiness tugging small grins out of him. He didn’t want to stop, he liked sparring with you, but considering this was just training, he didn’t want to stop until you did.

“Cause...I haven’t gotten a proper move in,” you gave Shiro a devilish grin, making his eyes grow wide. You wrap your legs around his waist, flipping him over so it was now him, not you, who was pinned on the ground.

He couldn’t control his heart from beating so fast-his breath was coming out particularly warm from that flip. Shoto had had a very quiet crush on you for sometime, not fully aware of it himself that he had a small infactuation with you. But how your hands laced around his wrists made his skin tingle, or how your body pressed into his made his body heat up intensely, was hard to ignore.

He stared at your face, unable to ignore the invading thoughts of just how beautiful you looked on top of him, your smile shining triumphantly down at him. He began to get lost in your (e/c) eyes, wishing he could stare at your face all day.

“Alright Shoto, I gotta head out,” you patted his chest nonchalantly, abruptly breaking him out of his daze.

“Thank you for all your help,” you gave him a soft smile as you held out your hand, helping him off the ground. You walked over to grab your water bottle, taking a swing from the container.

“now I gotta go into a nightmare dress...” you grumbled under your breath, sitting down on a bench beside you.

“A nightmare dress?” Todoroki sat down beside you, draping a towel around his damp neck.

“Yeah....long story short, I somehow got wrapped into helping Uraraka with her little cousin’s birthday party. She’s obsessed with this one princess on TV and I apparently I look just like her, so...”

“Uraraka asked you to perform at the party as this character?” he finished your sentence, resting his elbows on his knees in order to look at your face.

You nodded your head as you looked down at the water bottle in your hand, obviously looking a little conflicted. Your smile was no longer on your face, you teeth capturing your lower lip in worry.

Shoto was concerned over your sudden change, missing the warm smile you had sent his way just moments before. He wanted you to smile at him again, as if he was the only one in the world that could make you grin so happily.

“What’s wrong y/n? Are-are you feeling sick?” he asked politely, watching your facial expression closely.

You sighed, lying your head against the wall of the training room.

“I’m just worried I won’t be good at this. I watched the show,got the costume, I did everything I could to make sure her cousin has a good birthday party-I’m just scared the kids will hate me, or maybe I’ll trip and just ruin everything-“

Shoto laid his hand gently on top of yours, the sudden touch forcing you to look at him.

“You are going to be wonderful y/n,” he assured you, his voice soft and full of warmth, “if Uraraka trusted something so important in you, she clearly knows your more than capabale of achieving at this.” He paused slightly, his bi-colored eyes boaring into yours.

“And so do I.”

————————

Taggings (if ya want to be added, just shoot me an ask or comment on this post!)

@orokayagi @leeeah-loooser @freckledoriya

[hoodoo12]

And So It Begins (2/?)

SFW. Orc/Human

Part 1, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6

A week later, you were chopping wood in the small clearing near the hut you shared with your mother. She sat outside the door, carding wool.

“Someone’s coming, dear,” your mother said.

You’d been making a lot of noise with the axe and hadn’t heard anyone approach. As you paused, breathing heavily, Grar the Orc walked into the clearing. He stopped and considered something when he saw your mother, who had paused in her work, but then addressed you directly.

“You forgot the steel arrows. And the dagger too. I sharpened the blade.”

Your mother cocked her head. You hadn’t told her of what transpired in the forest; you knew it would worry her to no end. Grar didn’t know that, of course, and answered for you.

“Your daughter assisted me. I was scouting deer trails for the fall’s hunting season when I was ambushed by some rogues. Without her help, I would be hard pressed to be here today. Not only did she make a critical shot with her bow, she tended my wounds.”

“This is news,” your mother replied. “I hadn’t been told of such an incident in the woods.”

You wanted the earth to swallow you up, but your mother continued before you could explain yourself.

“Are your injuries healing well?” she asked, and Grar told her they were. Your mother nodded. “I would expect nothing less. Her healing skills are developing well.”

“I’m still learning,” you muttered, embarrassed at the praise. “Mother, this is Grar.”

The two greeted each other. Grar handed the weapons to you, and you stood awkwardly with them, not sure what to say or do now. “I also brought a fresh rabbit I snared on the way here,” Grar told you, taking it from the satchel at his side.

Juggling everything in your hands to take the game, you took it over and presented it to your mother. “A heavy rabbit!” she exclaimed. “I’ll clean it and we’ll have it for dinner. Will you stay, Grar?”

The Orc declined. Clucking her tongue but not arguing, your mother set aside her wool and went inside to fetch a knife to clean the game.

Although you weren’t upset to take a quick break, you still felt awkward. Grar looked over the tree you’d felled and the progress you’d made chopping it up. Although he didn’t ask, you felt the need to explain why you were doing a job that was typically reserved for men.

“I told you my father died. And we don’t have the money to just pay someone to chop firewood. I do it any chance I get so we have enough to last through the winter.”

Grar didn’t respond. He gave no nod or words of understanding. He simply continued to take in everything around your small hut. Before the silence stretched to the point of extreme uncomfortableness, your mother was in the doorway again with a loaf of bread in her hands.

“Grar, please accept this loaf. You won’t stay for dinner, but I’m sure you’ll have another rabbit for your own meal. This will go well with it.”

Grar went to your mother. He towered over her, just as he did you, and held out his hand. When your mother didn’t set the gift in his palm, he glanced back over his shoulder to you. The look of puzzlement on his face made you smile; you’d never expect to see an expression like that on his features. You gave him a nod.

Carefully, he plucked the bread out of your mother’s hands. She smiled and nodded, and went back inside.

Grar made his way back over to you.

“My mother’s blind,” you told him.

“I wondered why she didn’t recoil when I came near.”

You looked up at him. “I didn’t recoil when I met you either.”

He considered this a long moment. “No, you didn’t.”

He hesitated as if there was something more he wanted to say, but instead he dipped his head and walked away, leaving you with a handful of arrows in one hand and a dagger in the other, watching him go.

⁂

Chopping wood was not your favorite chore, although you did it when you had time. Winters could be unpredictable, and having enough fuel stored for the fire was vital. Still, you had other tasks including taking in laundry occasionally, and foraging, and keeping the hut neat, and helping your mother when people came to visit for medicinal reasons, and cooking, and tending the chickens, and agreeing to lend a hand milking some of the communally owned cows, and, and, and--

So when Grar appeared again out of the woods over a week later, the same felled tree was laying there. You’d made a little more progress, but not much.

His knock was firm on the thin door of the hut. Your mother had been expecting a neighbor who had been battling a cough, so when you opened the door you were surprised to see him standing there.

“Oh!” you said. The hand not holding the door jumped to the dagger in your belt.

Grar noted your involuntary movement. His dark eyes were unreadable, but you thought you saw a smile of amusement twitch the corners of his mouth.

“You’re carrying the dagger. That’s good,” he said, by way of greeting.

You released it and gave a strangled laugh. “It’s a good knife.”

“It’s a passable blade,” he corrected.

“Well, it’s better than anything I could afford. Are you here because you’re having problems with your shoulder? Here we actually have yarrow, which will be better than the comfrey. Will you come in?”

Grar glanced through your small hut. It wasn’t much, you knew. Dirt floor, fire pit in the middle for warmth and cooking, two piles of straw and fur for beds, your mother’s shelf of various herbs and other necessities for her minor healing work. There were two chairs; one for your mother and one for guests. You stepped aside to allow him entry.

“Come in!” your mother agreed, waving him in. “My daughter is correct, yarrow will fix you up.”

But the Orc shook his head. “My shoulder is fine. I’ve come to help chop firewood. And fell another tree or two, if you’d like.”

“What?” you asked, while your mother seemed to process his offer more quickly.

“That would be most appreciated,” she told him, then shooed you outside.

So, unexpected as it was, you found yourself chopping the tree into manageable pieces with Grar’s assistance. Luckily he’d brought his own axe; if he had had to use yours, making you stand by and watch, you’d have felt even worse about this unexpected generosity. The work was arduous enough that the two of you didn’t talk much.

The day was hot. Grar had unloaded his weapons--two daggers, a bow, and a quiverful of arrows, but no mace, today--into a neat pile out of the way of the work but close by. Eventually he also stripped out of his tunic. You wished it was proper for you to strip down too; this was hard work. With two people, however, the process went quickly. In a shorter time than you could have imagined, the wood was chopped.

Your mother appeared at the door of the hut with a bucket. Picking up logs and stacking them, you ignored her, but Grar watched her take hold of a rope that had been nailed just outside the door and use it to guide herself around a corner, out of sight.

“Where is she going?”

To see what he was indicating, you wiped your face with the hem of your dress. You’d been told it was unladylike, but you were sweaty and didn’t care. 

“To the stream. The rope follows the path.”

If he thought this was clever or not, he didn’t say. He sized up the trees in the area. “Let’s take down another one and start splitting it too. Even if we don’t finish it today, we can make a good start on it. I can return again and help finish with them.”

With that, he walked into the surrounding forest just passed the tree line, his large hands touching this tree trunk and that to determine which should come down. You bit your lip as you watched him.

“I can’t pay you,” you blurted loudly.

Grar paused but didn’t look back over his shoulder at you to reply, “I don’t need coin.”

His answer seemed clear, but by specifying money you couldn’t help but wonder if there was something else he expected as payment. He didn’t expound, however. He simply chose a tree and began calculations as to what would be the best way to have it come down. With a turmoil of questions in your mind, you tamped them down and went to help him.

The Orc didn’t take down one tree, but two. You made short work of chopping the branches off into manageable sizes, but the trunk of the trees themselves would have to wait for another day.

At some point your mother had returned from the stream. During a break that you thought you needed more than Grar did, she called from the hut to come get something to drink. She’d been busy inside while you’d been out; not only was there ginger water but also a few roast squirrels on the spit that were crispy on the outside and dripping puddings that she’d put together to catch the fat underneath the meat.

Once again Grar declined eating with you but this time your mother insisted. You led him to the stream to wash a little, following the path your mother had taken. Then three of you sat outside and ate the meal. At first you consciously tried to avert your eyes from the Orc’s tusks as he ate, worried that it would be like watching an uncivilized animal eat, but once again what you’d been told was wrong. He ate like any other man, and even more refined than some you’d seen at your small villages festivals. Soon it wasn’t anything you paid attention to.

Grar thanked your mother mostly for the bread; he told her before the loaf she’d given him at his last visit he couldn’t remember the last time he’d had it. Not since he’d left his Clan, at least.

Your mother beamed and told him you’d made it, and if he wanted another he was welcome to it.

There was some talk of not having kin in the area and the struggle that could come with it. Grar mentioned his hunting and trapping; your mother talked about her minor healing skills and how you were ‘coming along’. It was the most talkative you’d heard him. It was comfortable.

Before you knew it, enough time had passed that Grar said he should be going. He stood up and you stood too, taking his wooden plate. Your mother held her hand out for it and you passed it to her. She disappeared into the hut again.

For the moment, it was just the two of you again.

“The furs you have are old. They can’t be too warm,” Grar said, nodding towards the inside of the structure.

“They are old,” you had to admit. “But luckily our house is small, so the fire keeps it warm. And I know where I can collect fresh grasses for better insulation, before the weather gets colder.”

Grar considered this, looking directly at you. It was a bit unnerving. He didn’t have the same body language as humans; no nods of understanding or shrugs or anything of a non-verbal nature that you were familiar with. Finally he huffed--something you’d puzzled out meant a sort of acceptance--pulled on his shirt, and found his axe and weapons again before starting off.

You remembered the bread your mother had promised. “Wait! Grar!” you called.

As he paused, you rushed back into the hut, grabbed the nearest loaf and a bit of scrap cloth to wrap it in. It wasn’t anything your mother would miss; just an old square of fabric from a dress that no longer fit you that she would have used for bandages. You it around the loaf and tied a knot to secure it while you hurried back outside.

Grar was waiting. 

“Here,” you told him, handing him the package.

He accepted it with the same direct stare but with a dip of his head too.

For some reason that made you grin like a fool, and you wished him safe travel as he finally walked away with his axe on his shoulder. 

tbc . . .

[carmeladorde]

Those Times and 4 Years Later

After watching Eliud’s documentary video made by INEOS Challenge 159, I realized a lot of things in life. Eliud always highlights from the sport he loves to do, that it’s not only the belief in oneself that’s significant in breaking barriers, but also the belief in your teammates and the training itself.

*****

It’s somehow true to the old saying that “no man is an island”. His wisdom is simple, easy to grasp and we can almost apply to different aspects in our lives. To think that I’m about his age, I would say that he’s been always one of my inspirations in sports and life. Kenyans rule the running community and we can always learn from them. They have no secret recipes why they produce champions but it’s developing the good habits that makes the impossible, possible. Being focused, consistent, hardworking and determined in their lives are the keys to their success.

*****

I only picked-up running around 4 years ago. Before that, I lived a different life. Like most of the people around us who only grind everyday making a living, paying bills and just thinking of staying comfortable. I became at my heaviest at 63kg, was too stressed out at work, doesn’t care at all on my well-being and I woke up one day realising that I wasn’t feeling ok. I thought that I needed to do something for myself. I have never been so convinced by anyone or even a friend of mine to try running. I have a friend who is into this sport since she was in school and I know how she loves running. She kept on asking me for about 2 years to participate in local races but I wasn’t interested at all. I told myself that it was a waste of time and money and I basically don’t like running. She constantly asks me every time they would register to a race until I found myself in front of the web page of Color Run, paying for the registration fee and that was it. It was a fun run anyway, and I told myself to just try and see how it will turn up after I finish it. One fun run led me to another fun run and I became addicted to it. I was slowly learning something from the sport. 5Ks became 10Ks and I was so hungry that I even went to 21Ks. I signed-up to 1 or 2 races per month and I went on trying to participate and gain experience from different types of local races. I was enjoying it and kept going for almost a year. Then, I found myself looking for another challenge. My friend haven’t been into longer distances beyond 21Ks so I couldn’t tell her at first that I’m quiet drown to the 42K. I saw the ads of Standard Chartered Marathon Singapore and I read all the information about the race. It was 2016 that I dared myself to run a full marathon. When I completed my registration, that’s the only time I told my friend that I’m going to try this distance and see if I could really do it. There was this big fear deep inside of me because this distance is for serious runners. I know nothing about marathons when I paid the registration fee. I just wanted to challenge myself. I started to read and research about running marathons and I was totally smitten. My curiosity and love for the sport grew from there.

*****

I was only relying to my phone and I always use the Nike Running Club app with all things pertinent to running. As this was my first marathon, I didn’t expect anything so fantastic to happen to me. My goal was to know if I really can do it or not. I was telling myself that if I could finish it, then I would be happy and thankful. If on the other hand that something might happen along the course where I couldn’t make it, then it’s also fine with me. I trained alone and was juggling between work and other things. I wasn’t fully committed to the training and I couldn’t follow all the tasks given from the training plan but I still tried my best. (Maybe, I will share the details of this race on a separate post.) During the entire time and along the course, I thought I really couldn’t make it to the finish line. I have all the mixed emotions and my body was in pain and I was totally exhausted. I finished the race and was thankful that I managed to surpass the challenge I’ve put to myself. It was not a fantastic finish time but little did I know that crossing the finish line of a marathon for the first time will open bigger opportunities for me. I discovered something about myself, so profound that it’s hard to explain to others. My marathon journey did not end from here.

*****

I continued to join local races and met new friends from the running community. My journey was not always tip top and there were rough patches. Friends from the beginning started to fade away and I lost some of them. True enough that people in my life do come and go. It wasn’t easy at all and I admit that I had struggles. As they say, only the genuine people will stick to you if they really want to include you in their journey too. I instilled to myself that I will do my best to still keep on going even if I must do running alone. Nothing is permanent in this world, if there are chances that I’d meet new friends, then I would be grateful then. After all, I will do it for myself to help me change for the better. Life must go on anyway. For numerous times that failed in life, one thing that I’m truly grateful is that there are few who stood by me and supported me along the way. New friendships were born from meeting them thru social media and thankfully those friends also became your “life-friends” outside of running. Friends who are from different walks of life who helped me grow and inspire me to dare greatly in life. Without them, I wouldn’t be able to strive in my own pursuit.

*****

I learned about the World Marathon Majors, particularly Tokyo Marathon. I registered thru their balloting entry and was hoping that my name would be selected. Unfortunately, it wasn’t my time and my plans to travel to Japan have been postponed. I also tried Standard Chartered Hong Kong Marathon but my name wasn’t selected. I told myself that I will wait for the following year to try again. I minimised joining in local races as I was thinking to save money so that I can prepare for overseas races just in case I get selected. In later part of year 2016, I saw the ads of Gold Coast Airport Marathon from one of the accounts of a running club that I’m following in social media and I visited the website to know more about it. I invited my friends to join me and thought that it would be fun to travel together. I registered to the race as soon as they opened it online and a few months later, my friends whom I invited cancelled their plans, leaving me alone to travel. I never travelled alone in my entire life and I was a bit hesitant to pursue my trip. Then I asked my sister to come with me. We both applied for a visa and arranged our itineraries. It was also my sister’s first time to travel to Australia. I was relieved that I had someone who accompanied me on my first overseas race. (I will share my experience about GCAM on a separate post.) We both enjoyed our trip to Australia and we even visited our relatives there. My desire to join and complete more marathons grew stronger.

*****

When 2017 came, I patiently waited for August, the month when Tokyo Marathon opens their registration for general entry. I tried again for the second time and I convinced one of my friends to try too. After a month, we received the email notification from the organisers. To our delight, we were both accepted to participate in Tokyo Marathon 2018. I felt like I won in lottery except that this has no prize money involved. I couldn’t explain in details what I felt. It was generally overwhelming and I couldn’t focus on my work for the rest of the afternoon. There, I was on cloud nine! The days came by quickly, training, preparing, and arranging things up until I saw myself standing at the start pen about to run the biggest city in the world. (To be continued on a separate post.) I felt like I was unstoppable right at that moment. Running gave me a whole new world and I was so exhilarated. I was crying after I crossed the finish line. I achieved a personal best and I broke my 7-hour barrier since my first marathon. I’m grateful that all my hard work really paid off. It was indeed a whole new level of experience. After returning from the race, I knew for myself that I was still craving for another overseas marathon. I then searched for the other 5 world marathon majors and I tried balloting for BMW Berlin Marathon and Bank of America Chicago Marathon. October came and the results were in for Berlin. My name was selected and this was on a first try. Germany is one of the countries that I wanted to visit since I was young because of their rich history and architecture. I still decided to join Standard Chartered Singapore Marathon on the same year, hoping to break my own record and run it with my friend. In the end, we finished the race but I lost to humidity only to have my timing to be the same as my first try. That was my last long run before heading to Tokyo on the following year.

*****

Nothing is fantastic about my records because I’m just your average runner here. I still have a lot to learn about running and myself. I’m not a professional athlete and like everyone else, I too, have a full time job. I’m still working on my progress and I want to take it one step at a time and keep myself as balanced as I could be in order not to burn out myself too early that I may lose enthusiasm in running in the end. I’m trying my best to go with what works well for me. It was only a challenge to myself when I signed-up for my first marathon. I hate running during my school days and I’m not an athletic person. It wasn’t my dream to run a marathon, until it became a crazy day dream.

*****

I thank every single one of you who has reached up to this point reading my story. Really, thank you for taking interest in knowing a pinch of my life. I hope everyone will gain something from what I wanted to convey. May you truly discover other great things that are inside of you. May you be bold enough in chasing things that’s worthy and will bring you to where you’re supposed to be. When the time comes that you succeed in reaching your stars, please don’t forget to share them to others and tag them along so you will bring some motivation to themselves and may they be inspired as well.

*****

C.D.

[rpgmgames]

January's Featured Game: Wishbone

DEVELOPER(S): Skitty, Kwillow, Ellie, Natasha ENGINE: RPGMaker VX Ace   GENRE: Western, Drama, Farming Simulation WARNINGS:  N/A SUMMARY: Wishbone is a character drama-slash-farming sim game that takes place in a wild west-inspired setting. The player takes the role of a farmer, fresh off the wagon in a new town and tasked with building a successful ranch. Wishbone might seem sleepy and mundane at first, but there’s trouble brewing on the horizon: a fierce, prolonged standoff between the lawmen and the outlaws that will decide the fate of the town itself.

Our Interview With The Dev Team Below The Cut!

Introduce yourself!  *Skitty: Hello! I'm Skitty, a scruffy weirdo whose hobbies include drawing, programming, and cooking. I also happen to be the coder, project manager, and one of the main artists. In 2014, I released my first game, Theo's Big Adventure, but actually haven't really been involved in the community... I'm a bit of a hermit.

*Katie: Hi! I’m Wishbone’s portrait artist, and I also do some other less easily categorizable stuff, like writing, spriting, concept work and research! This is the first game I’ve ever been a part of the team on, if you don’t count an unfinished choose-your-own-adventure game I made in Flash when I was 13.

What is your project about? What inspired you to create your game initially? *Skitty: It's kind of a funny story. Several years ago, I used to be part of the Fallout: New Vegas roleplay community on tumblr. Just for fun, a few of my friends and I came up with an alternate universe where instead of living in the post-apocalyptic desert, all the characters lived in the wild west instead. We ended up having a lot of fun with the idea! My friend, Ellie (who is also working on this project as a writer), suggested the idea of an Animal Crossing-esque game based on that setting... and I, having coding knowledge and having made a game before, volunteered to make it. The struggle between the four central characters remains the same as the initial concept, but the project and the people of the town have evolved a lot since then.

How long have you been working on your project? *Skitty: I started it around April 2015, so it's a few months short of two years old. Progress has been slow because I'm also juggling a job and other obligations, but even during busy times, I typically manage to work on Wishbone every week. Every couple weeks, new features get done and updates are posted to the dev blog.

Did any other games or media influence aspects of your project? *Skitty: The three biggest ones are Animal Crossing, Harvest Moon, and Red Dead Redemption. From Animal Crossing, we have have befriending townspeople and decorating your house. From Harvest Moon, we have the farming mechanics and romance. From Red Dead Redemption, we have hunting, foraging, and outlaw bounties. And I suppose Fallout: New Vegas deserves a shoutout for kicking the whole project off, albeit indirectly.

*Katie: I’ve liked Wild West settings for a while, but this project has made me go big on trying to absorb as much information from both the actual time period and from media as I can. Lately I’ve been trying to cram as many old Westerns into my eyeballs as I can so I get a good picture of the (romanticized) aesthetic and shorthands that have been used for this genre in the past.

Have you come across any challenges during development? How have you overcome or worked around them?   *Skitty: Honestly, we’ve been fighting against RPG Maker’s limitations since the beginning, since the game we’re making is quite unlike a top-down RPG.

I would say that the biggest difficulty so far has been the patch of code that manages animals aging, getting sick, eating, giving birth, etc when the day rolls over. Originally, each animal event had an autorun page that would process that information when the player entered the barn map, but that would get very messy if the player didn’t enter that map all day. It got even messier if the player sent the animals in the barn out to pasture! To solve this, I first had to learn the order in which autorun events are evaluated (tip: it’s determined by the event ID number!). But that wasn’t enough… as more features were implemented, it became obvious that that approach just didn’t work. There were too many conflicts, and every time I’d fix something, I’d have to go through 20+ animal events, each with 40 pages, and change something over, and over and over… it was incredibly inefficient, typo-prone, and hard on the wrist.

Eventually, I got sick of it and recoded the whole animal system to use “generic” Common Events for interaction (basically I copy the animal’s specific stat variables to “generic” variables used by the function, then call it), with the aging/giving birth/eating/etc handled by a single event that was called once when the player slept. In hindsight, it seems so obvious… but my previous project didn’t use Common Events at all, so the first year of Wishbone’s development was largely dedicated to learning how to use them effectively.

*Katie: My biggest obstacle has been myself. I’m both a procrastinator and a perfectionist, which is just a horrible combo for ever getting anything done. Thankfully Skitty keeps me as on task as she can, but I still get mired in fixing-loops, and you would not believe the amount of times I’ve sent her revised images just because I moved a nostril two pixels to the left because it had been bothering me so badly.

Have any aspects of your project changed over time? How does your current project differ from your initial concept? *Skitty: It actually hasn’t changed a whole lot. In the beginning, we had this core concept, basically just Animal Crossing plus Harvest Moon. But even back then we knew we wanted a big plot and minigames and sidequests and stuff… it was just a matter of figuring out if those were feasible to program.

I’d say it actually has more features now than it did in the original concept, too. I think in the beginning we had maybe five minigames, now it’s more like 8-10ish (depending on what you consider a minigame).

*Katie: It’s far larger than we had intended, that’s for sure! The art style has also shifted quite a bit, from the switch to wholly original graphics from borrowed sprites to subtle alterations in the sprite and portrait style. I think the biggest, most significant change, aside from making all-new sprites, is the inclusion of the sky in most of the game’s maps.

What was your team like at the beginning? How did people join the team? *Skitty: It’s pretty much the same as it always was–me as the programmer/project manager/spriter, Katie as the portrait artist and other spriter, Ellie, Dax, Jester, and Reuben as character/plot contributors. Oh! I guess the big difference now is that we are in the process of hiring a composer?

What was the best part of developing the game? *Skitty: Seeing it all come together into something finished and cool. Sometimes I like to just lovingly look at the maps and videos and such I’m proudest of and think “wow, I did that! And it turned out almost exactly how I’d imagined!”

*Katie: Agreed! The little bits and pieces don’t seem like much, but when they’re part of a whole it’s like they’re completely transformed. I’m also happy to be working in a group - it makes me so proud to be part of this effort!

Looking back now, is there anything that regret/wish you had done differently? *Skitty: Man, I’d definitely be craftier about how I handled the code for the animals. I didn’t know a lot about scripting at first, MONTHS worth of headache could have been avoided if I’d known how to use script calls.

*Katie: I don’t want to say ‘I wish I could change everything!’ because that’s not true, but it’s hard to keep myself from feeling I can always improve the parts I’ve contributed to the game. I’m doing a lot of learning on the job, and when I look back on things I’ve done before - even just a couple of portraits or sprites ago - it feels like I need to do everything over and make it better!

Once you finish your project, do you plan to explore game's universe and characters further in subsequent projects, or leave it as-is? *Skitty: We definitely have plans to use the characters again, but when they’re revisited, it’s going to be in different contexts. You won’t see the desert of Wishbone again, but the characters will absolutely be popping up in future projects.

*Katie: Yeah, these characters are sort of like… actors, in a way. Type-cast actors. We like to put them in different scenarios and see how they adapt.

What do you look most forward to upon/after release? *Skitty: Gosh, it would be amazing if people liked the game enough to call themselves a fan! I’m definitely looking forward to people’s reactions to discovering plot twists and easter eggs and such. I hope people like the characters, too.

*Katie: Having something like this done would feel amazing. I’ve never been part of something this big before, and it’s a lot to be proud of. After that - if even a handful of people like the game, I’d be elated!

Is there something you're afraid of concerning the development or the release of your game?  *Skitty: I hope there aren’t too many bugs in it when I release it! I mean, I’m testing it as I go, but it’s a really big and complex game… there are going to be things I don’t catch. I’d be really disappointed if I released it with a glitch that broke people’s save files.

Also, I really do hope people actually like the characters… I’d be sad if they didn’t.

*Katie: I hope the art does justice to the game… I’d hate for it to be distracting or off, it’s something I worry about frequently. And boy I hope the story and characters come off okay!

Question from last month's featured dev: What's the biggest turn off you can get on an RPG maker game? *Skitty: Hmm… honestly, using the default sprites tends to be a pretty big turnoff. As an artist, it is very important to me that the game have an “aesthetic”, a sense of atmosphere, that the characters feel like individuals… that’s what really catches my eye and makes me want to learn more. I know not everybody is an artist, but like, a simple 8-bit sort of style, or even a “shitpunk” style like Space Funeral is more eye-catching than the default tiles.

Also, I find games made with the default tiles tend to be very easy to get lost in due to the generic nature of said tiles… if you gotta use those, at least make sure your maps are tightly-built and easy to navigate. I’ve played several RPG Maker games where the player spent a lot of time in huge, empty green fields with little or no landmarks. Add some stuff to make the area memorable… players will thank you for it!

Do you have any advice for upcoming devs? *Skitty: Try to set realistic goals for your first (or second, or third…) project. It’s so tempting to want to tell your magnum opus immediately, but that’s usually a recipe for ending up frustrated, disappointed, and quitting. My first project, Theo’s Big Adventure, was fairly short, used mostly ripped sprites from Mother 3 and ripped music from other video games, and still took a year and three months to complete.

Also, try to make working on your project a habit. I find that the hardest part is often just getting started… but once I get in the zone, I can work for hours. Set goals for yourself (whether it’s as big as “I’ll finish Chapter 5 by April” or as small as “I’m going to work on my project for at least 30 minutes today”) and reward yourself if you complete them. If you don’t complete them, don’t beat yourself up… just set the goal again (adjusting it to be more reasonable if needed) and give it another shot.

Oh, and one more thing… it’s alright for something to not be perfect. One of the biggest killers of a long-term project (aside from overambition and having it not be a habit) is perfectionism. Don’t get caught up in the cycle of continually revamping the same pieces over and over again–just let it be imperfect and move on. Nobody’s first project is perfect, but future-you needs the experience and confidence you’ll gain from finishing it to pull off the project of your dreams in a few years.

*Katie: All of the above, but from someone who’s less disciplined, to people who perhaps have similar issues: get somebody who’ll keep your nose to the grindstone and get you working and finishing things when all you want to do is either chase butterflies or toggle an eyeball back and forth to make it “perfect”. You would not believe how much it helps.

We mods would like to thank Skitty and Katie for agreeing to our interview! We believe that featuring the developer and their creative process is just as important as featuring the final product. Hopefully this Q&A segment has been an entertaining and insightful experience for everyone involved! 

Remember to check out Wishbone if you haven’t already! See you next month! 

- Mods Gold & Platinum 

[entergamingxp]

10 Demos That Made a Good Impression

June 22, 2020 10:00 AM EST

With a wealth of game demos, I played a large selection and selected the most interesting that I could find in The Steam Game Festival.

The Steam Game Festival event that is happening right now is a pretty great idea. With all the usual gaming conventions and events cancelled due to current events, why not utilize the expanding digital space? I’ve long been a proponent of game demos, since there’s little better way to know if a game will land. Combining a week-long digital event with public access to a variety of demos and alpha builds is clever, and I hope something like it will continue.

One demo sampling spree later, I had marathoned through much of what the library offered. In total, I’ve played 24 different demos to completion, to the point that I’m as exhausted as if I’d been on a convention show floor. I intended to write impressions pieces for all of these games, so I set myself the limit of two paragraphs per demo. I’ve chosen to split these impressions into two articles so as not to completely overwhelm everyone.

For today, here are the 10 demos among the 24 that stood out to me the most, and why. They’ve not been arranged in any specific order; all of them grabbed me in different ways, so this list shall not be numbered.

Starmancer

Starmancer is a city builder and management sim set on a space station. You set up the infrastructure, reconstitute your colonists from biomass, and then make sure their needs are comfortably met. In return, the colonists can be assigned jobs, which they will gradually level up in. With the right infrastructure, you can scan the system for points of interest to deploy missions to. From this, you can gain additional resources and colonists. With the variety of features and systems at play, Starmancer is pretty damn good, even if it’s nothing that hasn’t been seen before.

The game is well presented, has lots of interesting systems, and handles well for this point in its development. My biggest concern is that I was unable to get water during my demo time, as I never found the required ice asteroids to mine. If mission appearance is reliant on RNG, it’ll eventually be bad luck that sees you out of water, and therefore out of oxygen. My original draft pointed this out as a flaw, but it’s already been patched to be more common, so issue solved. With a decent tail in the research tree to keep gameplay fresh, Starmancer would definitely be worth your time, so here’s hoping it turns out even better.

Ghostrunner

There’s been a real dearth of movement-heavy first-person games since Titanfall 2 and Mirror’s Edge. In comes Ghostrunner, evoking feelings of both of those. It’s a fast-paced game in which you play a cyborg aiming to climb a cyberpunk tower and kill the Keymaster at the top. To do this, you have the ability to run, slide, wall run, use a grappling hook, and even air dash through obstacles. These obstacles are frequently gun-toting enemies that will kill you in one shot, but die in equally short order.

I had an absolute blast playing this one. It utterly begs the player to go fast, think quickly, and use all the tools at their disposal to traverse the environment. Death is frequent but respawning is as snappy, so it constantly drove me to try again. The premise is interesting, the possibilities are enticing, and the demo is way too short. I finished it in just ten minutes, but seeing that timer at the end just made me want to replay it and do it better. Can’t wait to see speed runners get their hands on this, let alone play it for real myself. Ghostrunner is one to watch.

Fights in Tight Spaces

This game wins the Best Name award for this list of previews. That said, it’s also right up there in winning the most approval from me. Fights in Tight Spaces is awesome. It’s a turn-based deck-building game in which you play cards to move around and utilize attacks to best your opponents. What really makes it special is that the player has perfect information; you know exactly what the enemies are going to do. By moving around or utilizing this correctly, you can have them strike each other or set up for more intense combinations.

Completing fights gives you new cards and money with which to heal or tune your deck a bit for future fights. It’s simple, effective, and there’s a lot of possibilities for how these scenarios can play out. The idea of an intense tactical fighting game played via cards might not sound like much, but Fights in Tight Spaces makes it work. The minimalist presentation in the vein of Superhot suits the gameplay immensely. All that’s lacking here is a playback that runs the entire fight at full speed afterwards. Give me that, and I’ll happily pay up to live out my John Wick fantasies in this game.

Spiritfarer

I’d seen a trailer for Spiritfarer previously, but going into this demo nonetheless surprised and delighted me. It’s another sort of management and base-building game, this time set on a boat. You build additions and rooms to meet the needs of the people you’re journeying with, grow crops, fish, and juggle resources. All sounds good enough so far. But then you realize that you’re effectively Charon, ferryman of the underworld, and your residents are spirits being guided to their resting place. Somehow, despite that, the game can only be described as “comfortable.”

Spiritfarer has an achingly beautiful palette of art and colours to it. The animation is gorgeous, the sounds are fantastic, and the entire presentation is so charming and whimsical despite the sober theme and tone. Some of the tasks can be a little chore-like, but with enough passengers and things to juggle, I could really see it being an engaging set of systems. There is a lot to love here, and if executed right, this could definitely be a sleeper hit. Again, Spiritfarer was an absolute delight, and I am looking forward to playing the full thing immensely.

The Riftbreaker

I won’t mince words: this was my personal favourite of all the games I played for this piece, no question. The Riftbreaker is an absolute maelstrom of game systems. You play as a scientist in a mech suit deployed to an alien planet, and have to establish a base of operations. That means RTS-esque gathering of resources, building a base, and setting up automation and defences. This base then becomes an upgradable ARPG hub where you can outfit yourself with new equipment and research. Go out, explore, beat up hostile creatures, gather more resources and upgrades, and deal with an increasingly escalating pushback against you.

I’m a sucker for this kind of interwoven set of systems, and the combination of everything here is executed really well. The action feels good, customization is plentiful, the base construction is intricate, and the tech tree decently varied. Individual systems don’t seem to dominate one another; it all plays well and loops back together. Given that games with smaller and less ambitious systems often struggle with such a concept, this level of intricacy is seriously impressive. It even looks and sounds pretty good, to boot! For a game I knew nothing about previously, The Riftbreaker is now near the top of my list of most anticipated upcoming games.

30XX

More than any other game on this list, 30XX needed no introduction to me. It’s a sequel to the excellent roguelike Mega Man-esque game 20XX, which I still routinely play on my Switch to this day. I was happy to hear of its announcement, and happier still to play this demo and ascertain that it’s absolutely more of the same. This is a good thing.

Because I didn’t need to know much more about it, I didn’t play 30XX for very long. It’s a combat-focused sidescrolling platformer with some roguelike level generation. Items and set pieces are hidden in the levels and can potentially change up your powers, build, and stats. But more than anything, it’s a solid demo that does the likes of Mega Man proud. The new levels and enemies play well thus far, and I look forward to seeing what more comes of it. Suck it, Mighty No. 9.

Cris Tales

Other writers at DualShockers have covered Cris Tales in more depth previously, so I’ll defer to them for this one. I will say that this was my first time experiencing it hands-on, and now I’m completely in love with Cris Tales. It’s a gorgeous world with some seriously fantastic gameplay systems regarding time manipulation. I loved it, and I’m right on board with Nick on his thoughts about it. Can’t wait to play the full thing.

Solasta: Crown of the Magister

This was another real surprise! Solasta: Crown of the Magister is a near perfect recreation and implementation of 5th Edition D&D rules into a video game. The full breakdown of actions and turns is here, as are all the specific class mechanics and options that you’d find in a tabletop session. Solasta comes equipped with a pretty functional character creator, but the gameplay demo utilizes a premade party. Nonetheless, the character creator is available to demonstrate how well it translates.

Even without my own characters, the adventure demo was really quite impressive. There’s party interactions and banter, as well as dialogue with NPCs where you can choose who chimes in or makes a skill check. This will be present for a player-created party as well, according to the devs. I doubt it’ll be quite at the level of Baldur’s Gate 2 or other such classics, but there is a lot to love here. The actual combat and dungeon crawling was varied, with lots of approaches and secrets to find.

Alongside Larian’s Baldur’s Gate 3, we now have Solasta to show what a modern D&D video game can play like. Very impressed and looking forward to the full campaign.

Cartel Tycoon

Cartel Tycoon is — as the name implies — a management/tycoon sim in which you build up and manage a criminal business. You build up farms, ship the farm goods to industrial buildings for processing, then dispatch them to be sold at trade hubs. The catch between this and a standard city builder/tycoon game is that the farm grows cannabis, the industry rolls it into joints and hides it amongst legal goods, and the trade hub is a private airfield. It’s a slightly more subtle version of Tropico, in other words.

The mechanics and gameplay in Cartel Tycoon is pretty solid and the game feels quite polished and presentable. There’s a little bit of micromanagement, as your cartel boss and lieutenants are movable units that you can control. You can use them to take over territory, boost the output of buildings, or conduct actions that you’ve yet to research the automation of. I quite enjoyed my time with it, but there was a bit of concern in the late game when I found myself snowballing into an unwinnable scenario. A few more means of balancing out the Terror rating would be nice, but the effects of it causing police or federal agencies to tamper with you was a nice touch. Quite a good game, and one I’ll keep an eye on.

Cosmoteer

This game is a treat. Cosmoteer sees you starting with a simply designed spaceship, and you take it into space to fight other ships. Defeating them nets you money, and money lets you purchase upgrades and redesign your ship entirely as you see fit. Want to make it durable, fly super fast, or simply be a floating brick with a giant railgun? All of these are options. There’s a real satisfying feel to building a good ship layout, then unleashing it on the galaxy and destroying them component by component.

New aspects of gameplay opened as the game continued, and I found myself increasingly more impressed by the scope of it. Want to buy multiple ships and control them as a fleet? That’s an option. Want to accurately control and try to maximize the output of the ship against tougher targets? No problem. Or, you can just keep on building up the one ship into a hodgepodge nightmare or monster battleship, if you’d like. Cosmoteer is clearly a real passion project and I was quite impressed. There’s already a selection of original or iconic sci-fi ships that come pre-built to tinker with, some of which are community-created. Creativity is sure to run rampant with this one!

These were the definite standouts to me from my time spent sampling The Steam Game Festival demos. The event will officially be wrapping up today, so if any of these sounded appealing, you should go check them out and show your support. I will probably end up picking up the full release of most of the games listed here. As for the other games I played, tune in soon and I’ll share my impressions of them in a bonus lightning round.

June 22, 2020 10:00 AM EST

from EnterGamingXP https://entergamingxp.com/2020/06/10-demos-that-made-a-good-impression/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=10-demos-that-made-a-good-impression

[thrashermaxey]

Ramblings: Thoughts on Philly goaltending, Connolly, Hirose, Bobrovsky, Lehner and more (Mar 25)

Ramblings: Thoughts on Philly goaltending, Connolly, Hirose, Bobrovsky, Lehner and more (Mar 25)

***

Now available for pre-sale – the 13th annual Interactive Playoff Draft List. Pre-order it here. It will be Friday April 5. If you bought the Ultimate Fantasy Pack in the summer, this will be included in that purchase. It is not included in the Keeper Fantasy Pack.

*

The Flyers have lost five of seven games and their playoff hopes hang by a thread. The team would have preferred not to toss young Carter Hart into the fire at this stage in his development, but they know that he represents their best shot at getting there. So the Flyers will juggle three goalies and ride Hart in all but the second of back-to-backs. Which was the case Sunday when Brian Elliott got the start (and took the loss).

It would be interesting to see how things shake out for Philadelphia between the pipes in the summer with both Elliott and Cam Talbot as UFAs. A thought I have is that the team re-signs one of them to be Hart’s backup, giving Hart the reins next season in what I think is a full year ahead of their original plan for him. On one hand you have a veteran who still seems to be adequate when called upon, but is injury prone. At 33, I think what you’re seeing from Elliott is what you get. On the other hand you have Talbot who seems to have completely fallen apart, and what I suspect started to happen when his life changed upon the birth of his twins a couple of years ago. He could fill in as a backup and at the age of 31 I think could at least rebound a little. He could shoulder the load whenever Hart stumbles or is injured. The point is, I suspect that one of the two will be back with the Flyers next season.

Brett Connolly’s career season continues to get better. He has eight points in his last six games. This is particularly impressive because his ice time is actually declining from quarter to quarter. Here is his quarterly breakdown:

  Quarter

GP

G

A

PTS

SOG

PPP

PPTOI

TOI

1

19

2

8

10

34

1

1:12

13:10

2

22

7

7

14

36

1

1:06

14:13

3

22

6

3

9

31

0

0:11

12:20

4

13

6

5

11

27

0

0:04

12:04

  *

The favored goaltender for the Islanders has swung back to Robin Lehner. After Thomas Greiss was pulled March 21 against Montreal after giving up four goals on 22 shots, Lehner has started two straight games. He has stopped 65 of 67 and given the fact that Coach Barry Trotz rides the hot hand, I suspect this is late enough in the season for Lehner to ride this wave into the playoffs. Both goaltenders have 22 wins and SV% at 0.926 or higher (Lehner at 0.928). I don’t think the Islanders or Lehner are thinking about a contract, given the need to focus on the task at hand. But the reality is, Lehner is an unrestricted free agent this summer. The Isles have a ton of cap space and Lehner’s season is demanding a decent chunk of change, one that exceeds the $3.33 million that Greiss makes next year. The Isles do have a couple of young stud goalies on the way in Ilya Sorokin and Linus Soderstrom and really just need a goalie like Lehner for another two years, but I don’t think he signs for anything under three. I think there are plenty of teams willing to sign him for three years and $15 million-plus. At that price point, he will be a starter next year at 55 games be it with a new team or with this one. You don’t put $5 million per year on the bench for 40 games the way it’s happened for him this year at $1.5.

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He was held off the scoresheet for the fifth consecutive day but Vinnie Hinostroza had five shots on goal. We’ve been talking Hinostroza a lot here lately. Over the last three weeks (11 games), Hinostroza leads all Arizona forwards with five goals and six points, as well as 35 shots (tops Clayton Keller’s 30). His ice time has seen a bump lately as well, averaging over 16 minutes per game lately and 17:54 on Sunday. I’m bullish about him for next season.

The Coyotes have struggled to score this year, it’s no secret. They started the season with just three goals in five games, and their current rut is at four goals in the last four games. They’ve been shut out seven (!) times this year in all, including Sunday. They were held to just a single goal on 17 occasions. That’s 24 of 76 games (31.6%) scoring one goal or not at all. The Coyotes are 23rd in the NHL on the power play and second in shorthanded goals. But at even strength the team has just 139 goals, which sits 30th. I don’t really see a magic wand that can be waved over them in the summer that will make this an NHL team that ranks in the top half for offense, so being “bullish” on Hinostroza is all relative. If he finishes in the top three on the team in scoring next year, that may just mean something like 48 or 50 points.

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Petr Mrazek has been on fire this quarter though he didn’t get the start Sunday (Curtis McElhinney spotted him, and had a strong game to bounce back from a poor one on March 21). But Mrazek has posted a Quality Start in nine of his last 11 games. His last RBS (what we define as a Really Bad Start – 0.850 SV% or lower) was way back on January 20. Mrazek’s last 11 games:

9-2-0, 1.63 GAA and 0.944 SV% with 3 SO and 9 QS

Mrazek is yet another unrestricted free agent in the summer ahead and he’s completely revived his career. The Hurricanes were likely going to move on from him come July and now I think they’re interested in hearing what he’s looking for. If I was GM Don Waddell, I would see if I can’t lock him in for two years at a low cap rate of perhaps under $3 million. If this team can hang onto a playoff spot on the back of Mrazek playing another five or six strong games, he’ll be looking for a lot more. Carolina was a destination for one of the many UFA goaltenders this summer and Mrazek is doing what he can to shut the door on that opportunity for those people such as the aforementioned Talbot, Elliott and Lehner.

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One goalie is not unrestricted this summer is of course Carey Price. His numbers this season overall are mediocre but if you delve deeper you can see that the superstar is back. He has Quality Starts in six of his last seven games and since November 23 he has the following numbers:

27-18-3, 2.37 GAA, 0.923 SV%, 3 SO and 32 QS (65.3%)

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Colin Wilson has seen a surge in ice time with Gabriel Landeskog and Mikko Rantanen on the sidelines, seeing 17:48 Sunday and 19:01 Sunday. He’s still on the third line but he’s been a member of the top PP unit. No points Sunday, but he had two Saturday and has four in four games if you’re reaching for a short-term option on Wednesday, their next game. Then again, that game is against the white-hot Golden Knights so…maybe not.

JT Compher and Alex Kerfoot have been Nathan MacKinnon’s wingers, even on the power play. Compher has been snakebitten but Kerfoot has three points in two games, two on the power play.

Erik Johnson, who had six BLKS Sunday, has 21 of them in his last seven games.

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It’s a tight game and a desperate, if a longshot, run for a playoff spot. And Erik Gustafsson led Chicago in ice time with 23:33, and PP time with 3:40. We already know he’s the real deal but this kind of reliance from his coach bodes well for him maintaining his status as “the man” on the blue line next season.

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College Star and recent UFA signee Taro Hirose has an assist in each of his three games with the Red Wings. His PP time has been slowly increased (albeit small sample) and he’s been producing while playing with Thomas Vanek and Frans Nielsen, two capable veterans but hardly the elite performers  they used to be.  You can read his scouting report on DP right here.

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Sergei Bobrovsky returned in style Sunday and posted his second shutout in three games. The Blue Jackets really came to play and seemed as though Josh Anderson was the second coming of Tom Wilson in the way that he carried them – three points, plus-4, two PIM and one SOG. Anderson has quietly put together a strong year and lately he’s been huge with nine points in eight games (30 shots, 26 Hits). He, Matt Duchene and Ryan Dzingel have formed a very strong second line and if team chemistry is finally starting to mesh, Columbus could make the playoffs after all.

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See you next Monday.

        from All About Sports https://dobberhockey.com/hockey-rambling/ramblings-thoughts-on-philly-goaltending-connolly-hirose-bobrovsky-lehner-and-more-mar-25/

[whenmusicspeaksfl]

Guide To An Existential Crisis

Guide to an Existential Crisis

By Hali Neal

This has been a hard post for me to write mostly because I haven't wanted to face any of the shit that led to my moving back to Miami (more on that in a bit). Except now my brain is tired of all the effort it takes to sustain that type of compartmentalization. I know this because of this restless, irritated, disillusioned (annoyed??) feeling that infected me in the two weeks since I've finished my summer job. It refuses to go away. And then there's the fact that both good and bad memories of my year and a half in Orlando keep flooding my mind.

If I'm being brutally honest with myself, which is sometimes a hard task, it really started last summer. Last summer when it looked and sometimes felt like I was on top of the world: I worked my ass off in school, my job, and to make deeper, meaningful connections in the music industry. I was fortunate enough to grab the attention of Mike Ziemer, owner of Third String Records and founder of the So What?! festival through a competition he was running to shadow him at So What?! and because of that, he offered myself and others who participated in the contest free two-day tickets to his festival. We all teamed up to find inexpensive accommodations, flights, and rental cars. We also decided to be a part of the So What?! documentary and that experience still stands out as one of the best (and coldest!) weekends of my life.

I also had the opportunity to attend the first Warped Tour press conference/lineup announcement in Orlando, which drew a lot of the more influential players in the industry to it. I was able to network with a few of them and got offered a(n unpaid) position to tour with MetalFortress Radio, one of Warped Tour’s sponsors that year. Also definitely two of the best weeks of my life. I was also approved to cover Pierce the Veil’s (one of my favorite bands) sold out “Misadventures” show in New York, Acceptance’s (another favorite band) show in Orlando, and the opportunity to cover both Fort Rock and the Cincinnati date of the Vans Warped Tour. I thought I had everything locked up as far as pursuing the creative career I’d always wanted: I’d been offered a full-time job as a photographer for Sharpshooter Imaging that was to start as soon as I got back from Warped Tour with MetalFortress. 

Then it all came crashing down in spectacular fashion. It started with me and my friend Adria covering the Cincinnati date of the Vans Warped Tour. The online publication I’d been writing for since 2012, Examiner.com, e-mailed me to tell me and the others that the site was shutting down in favor of keeping AXS.com, the company that bought out the original owners, running. Writing for Examiner was how I got my start in music journalism and how I’d gotten as far as I had in the industry. Naturally, I was crushed. As for AXS, I’d only just started writing for them in February after applying for the job three previous times. And anyone who’s ever had a long-term job knows what happens when a new company comes in: they kick all the old people out and start fresh. That’s exactly what happened to me. This wouldn’t have been as big a deal as it became if I hadn’t been 1) struggling to find the right medication to help me manage my depression and generalized anxiety disorder 2) literally in West Virginia driving to Ohio to cover Warped Tour for AXS. 3) constantly broke because of my focus on what I thought I wanted as a career for myself. 

These points are all interconnected in terms of how I got to where I am now so get comfortable and grab a snack or some coffee, because this is going to get long. This is what happens when you bottle stuff up too long and feel like you’re going to burst. Not the healthiest way to deal with stuff (don’t follow my example, kids). And I know this, which is why I’m attempting to excise these feelings the best way I know how: through writing.

1)   I’ve been quieter about my own mental health struggles than I probably should have – the majority of people who aren’t close to me (or my friend on Facebook) seem to think I’m the picture of someone who has their shit together, but in a lot of respects, nothing could be further from the truth. I’ve found ways to function despite my illness, which I think has more to do with my being stubborn as hell and feeling like there just has to be something more than this – than these circumstances.

a.   I’ve also been quiet about it because a lot of it is still me coming to terms with it and how it’s affected my life (still working on that, btw). It’s like waking up after a 10-year nap or something and realizing that you woke up in the middle of the apocalypse.

b.   It’s also EXTREMELY difficult to find health insurance on a limited income, the right psychiatrist, the right medication to help manage your symptoms (especially when you’re like me and have a propensity for experiencing ultra rare side effects) and never mind trying to find the right psychologist to deal with the emotional sludge you have to slog through to get to the light of what’s called recovery. I’ve made a lot of progress in those areas, but I can tell this is only the beginning.

c.    I’ve struggled with feeling shame’s ugly wings flapping in my ear when it comes to my anxiety disorder and depression. I’ve struggled with the two of them in some form my entire life but I only reached what addicts might call “rock bottom” toward the end of 2015. I’d just moved to Orlando to pursue what I thought would be my dream job, digital media/mobile journalism, was literally sleeping on my best friend’s floor (and putting up with her incredibly awful, toxic roommates), and working a shitty job I knew I’d eventually come to hate but I needed something to get me through until loans came in.

d.   I felt myself falling into a familiar hole around my birthday in October as my only paying writing job, Miami ArtZine, became impossible to keep up with and everything became a fight. The other thing of significance that happened was that two South Florida friends (both of whom are no longer in my life, one for reasons other than what I’m about to describe), were supposed to come up to Orlando for my birthday to see Bring Me The Horizon (a band who’s become important to me because “That’s The Spirit” is such an accurate depiction of how it feels to have depression). One of the girls literally waited until the day of, a few hours before they were supposed to leave, to tell my other friend that the car wasn’t going to make it up to Orlando. The other friend doesn’t drive and the show was sold out, so it’s safe to say that wasn’t my best birthday.  

e.   Losing the gigs with AXS and Examiner.com, struggling to find the right medication, and the photography job turning out not to be what it promised (leaving me scrambling to pay bills and afford gas/food) were just the straws that broke the camel’s back. The medication I was taking during my trip to Cincinnati, Cymbalta, ended up making me more depressed/suicidal than I’d ever been and it just made everything 10x harder to handle. I also found out that the psychiatrists I thought were helping me were actually awful doctors, so I felt like I was up a creek without a paddle.

The one-two punch that finally finished me off while I was in Orlando had everything to do with my living situation: first, it was apartment drama that ended with me and my roommates getting kicked out of our shady apartment complex for literally signing a complaint one of the roommates gave to the property manager and then thinking I’d found a place only to have it fall through at the last minute (which would become a theme with my jobs too). This led to me bouncing around from place to place basically every month: one month included living with an emotionally and physically abusive couple, another an extended stay for two weeks, to the same “best friends” I’d stayed when I first moved to Orlando telling me they weren’t kicking me out but I needed to find somewhere else, and finally a halfway sober house whose only requirement was that you had to be homeless and have a job (you didn’t necessarily have to have a problem with alcohol to qualify… main requirement was to be homeless. However, if you were newly sober, you needed to be 3 months sober). The halfway house is where I finally ended up because I was tired of moving and the property owner was only charging me $225 a month all-inclusive (with the exception of internet -  there was no wi-fi, which complicates things when you’re a digital media major who works most mornings or is in class).   

Then the problems started. I discovered that the mattress the property owner had so kindly provided for me was ridden with bed bugs, which, it turns out, I’m highly allergic to the bite of. I was in that house for three months and ended up sleeping on the living room couch or chair for relief, a place I often had to fight over with a cranky, sick old man obsessed with Fox News as well as a creepy, older manipulative crack addict that didn’t seem to actually want to get better and constantly stole everyone’s food. It got to the point that I depended on food pantries or my job as my main food source. I felt like I was sinking even lower into myself as we had to deal with the fact that the house was basically falling apart and the property owner would say she’d fix it and then never do it, drama that involved the crack addict and the cops and eventually the addict leaving. As I’ve been made aware, this was a lot for anyone to handle, never mind someone trying to juggle a 28 hour/week work schedule and classes. Then I lost my job and only reliable source of income in December as a result of stress and being on the wrong medication… again (this time the offender was Wellbutrin. My blood pressure before I was finally able to be taken off it was 161/something else obscenely high). 

The final straw came in January when my roommate and only sane person in that entire house told me the addict was coming back in February. Neither of us were about that life so we both knew we needed out before the end of the month. She left first and moved in with a friend she’d made at the house next to ours. Meanwhile, I was still stubbornly refusing to give up on my dream career and metaphorically dragging myself to classes. With everything going on, I only had enough energy left to pony up half-ass effort for my classes. The spring semester just started and already I’d forgotten to go to one of my classes and was full of resentment and other negative feelings for a class I’d normally enjoy: college newspaper.

My thoughts swirled and sounded something like this: ‘What am I doing with my life that I'm being so stubborn/subjecting myself to abhorrent (bed bug ridden) conditions...?’ ‘And for what?’ ‘What has this ultimately brought me but misery topped with more misery (and a generous sprinkling of debt)?’

I’d gone to Valencia when I was first having housing problems and was able to utilize their emergency fund. Unfortunately, that money went to living with the abusive couple for a month. I went back to Valencia to see what I could do and if maybe the emergency fund could help me again. Turns out it really is a one time fund. I felt screwed. I explained the situation to the counselor and he gave me the “come to Jesus” talk I didn’t know I needed. He told me that add/drop wasn’t over yet, that I could still drop with no liability, that it was okay to take a semester off, and even though it might be hard to ask, to ask my parents if I can come home and let them help me. Add/drop ended after that weekend (I went to the office Friday), so I had to decide quickly. I texted my parents the situation – everything from the housing thing to the difficulty I’d been having finding a job after being let go from Dunkin’ Donuts in December. To my surprise, they understood (the reason I was surprised is a post for another time) and I knew that whatever disagreements and issues I’d had with them, it had to be better than the conditions I was currently living in. I dropped my classes that day and moved home the next day.

Adria helped me find a job once I moved back and I’m still at said job – working as an after care counselor at the school she teaches at. I’d already finished the process to be a substitute teacher in Orlando, so I just transferred my info down to the Broward office and voila – steady-ish jobs, one of the biggest issues I had in Orlando. I still had the editing job I’d started in Orlando at Odyssey, which eventually ended up becoming a content mill that was less than honest about its changes. This was the punch that knocked me out for a couple of months and the start of my existential crisis in regards to writing.

I’ve discovered that, while I’m learning to live healthily with depression and generalized anxiety disorder, I need a job that won’t give me paycheck anxiety. Also living paycheck to paycheck is miserable.

I feel like making writing a paying career is such a long shot at this point that I’m afraid of even wanting it anymore. I’m flummoxed as to what to even do with my life if it’s not writing. I’ve thought about social work since a secondary passion of mine is psychology and I like creating a supportive emotional learning environment for the kids but… I don’t know. I’d need to do my masters, which I wouldn’t mind, but it would have to be fully funded or mostly at least. I don’t want to make it hard for myself to pay back my student loans. I’ve finally found a psychologist that seems promising and he’s helping me to believe that I can have good things, to let the past GO mentally, and that I need to forgive myself for my past mistakes and/or failures. I also found a decent psychiatrist who actually knows what the hell he’s talking about and I think I might have finally found the right medication to help me manage the more physical symptoms/destructive thoughts/behaviors this illness would rain down on me before. Also, about music journalism: I still like doing CD reviews and interviews, so maybe the key is being more selective about the ones I do so I don’t get as burnt out as I’ve gotten? We’ll see what happens. All I know is that I hope I get this shit figured sooner rather than later. Figured you guys should know why I’ve been a bit of a ghost in regards to music journalism… been trying to get my head right.