#man i dunno this show is ridiculous

[theshitpostcalligrapher]

okay so i just recalled a little murdoch mysteries fact that i feel like tumblr ought to know

so the show is camp as hell with using historical figures as cameos right? everything is kinda overly dramatic and at the very least a little ridiculous in how they intersect with the show considering it's set during the belle epoch? tesla, conan doyle, roosevelt, etc?

I just fucking remembered since they usually adjust for age/time, they had an Annie Oakly cameo where she's this absolute smokeshow of a gunslinging milf in her mid-thirties

[the-dance-of-italy]

Anyone else has that weird aftertaste in their mouths about The Chosen?

I mean sure it has its flaws (aside from the zionists in the production) and odd undertones in some aspects, in general terms and in comparison to other Jesus related series and movies, it is a really good and engaging show.

[chocolate-cream-soldier]

-

[obsesssedblerd]

“Megumi!” You call your son in the living room, who’s sitting next to his father, Toji, on the couch watching the news. “Could you go grab your sister and tell her to put her studying on hold? Dinner’s almost done.” 

“Yeah, no problem,” Megumi says as he rises to his feet, putting his headphones around his neck and pulling his phone out of his hoodie pocket. “Oh, uh, Mom?” 

“Hm?” 

“Can Itadori spend the night after dinner?” He then looks over at Toji with a small scowl. “After Dad hides all of his assassin stuff?” 

“Hey, watch it,” Toji says.

You nod with a light smile. You loved having Yuuji Itadori over. He was a bright kid, and besides, he made Megumi relaxed and happy. “Of course. Go prepare the guest bed, yeah?” 

Megumi departs with a nod, then heads upstairs. From the living room, you hear Toji whistle. “Wow. Baby, looks like Spider-Man stopped that bank robbery.”

You look up from the dishes in the kitchen, then hum in delight when you catch what’s on the screen. It looked like small clips from the internet as the reporter gave details. The masked hero, wearing blue and red, swings, fights, and rescues hostages swiftly. “Incredible,” you say, then walk over to hand your husband a list of groceries. “Could you head to the store and grab these? I want to make sure that we have enough food for breakfast in the morning now that Yuuji will be staying the night.” 

Toji looks around to make sure that Megumi and Tsumiki aren’t present, then lowers his voice to a whisper. “Actually, I wanted to talk to you about Yuuji.” 

“Megumi has feelings for him. Yeah, I know.” 

“No- Not that. Amazing for them, and I think they’re adorable together, but,” Toji points over at the TV. “I think he’s Spider-Man.”

You blink, then burst into laughter as you head back into the kitchen. “Toji, what? Don’t be ridiculous. He’s only fifteen and very busy. You know how often he studies with Megumi.” 

“I’m serious,” he says as he follows you. “Think about it. Do you know how often Yuuji shows up with bruises or scratches?” 

You begin arranging plates on the dining room table. “Just like our son, the kid’s a fighter. I mean, his uncle Sukuna was a huge fighter before he passed away. Plus, he spends a lot of time with Satoru Gojo, and we know how he is. Also, doesn’t he have an older brother? Brothers fight.” 

“True, but just walk with me for a second.” You sigh and look up to see Toji waving his hands animatedly as he explained. “Do you remember when we all went to the parade on New Years together, and that giant robot appeared?” 

“Yes, it was all everyone could talk about for days.” 

“Uh-huh.” He then points at you. “Do you also remember how Yuuji was gone when Spider-Man appeared at the scene?” 

You stare at him blankly. “...Toji, he went to the bathroom before everything happened,” you remind him. “I’m certain that he got lost in the crowd when everyone started running.”

Toji groans. “You don’t believe me. Baby, I’m telling you—He’s Spider-Man. I can’t prove it now, but I will eventually.” 

You sigh again and cross your arms. “Okay, so, let’s say he was. What would you do?” 

“Well, I mean…” Toji mutters, then sheepishly rubs the back of his head as he quietly chuckles. “I dunno, give him a high-five? Worry about Megumi?” 

“Trust me, Toji. The only people with secret identities here are you and I.” You reach over and grab a stack of napkins. “By the way, Megumi had a point earlier. Be more careful about where you’re leaving weapons. One of Tsumiki’s friends nearly saw one not too long ago.” 

He winces. “Sorry.” 

“You’re fine.” You push to your tip toes and gently kiss him. “No job tonight, right? I know I don’t have one.” 

“Nope. Once I get those groceries, I’m all free.” He grabs the list from you, then reaches towards you to lovingly push a loose strand of hair away from your face. “I’ll be back soon.” When he leaves through the back door, the front doorbell rings. 

You hear Megumi rush down the stairs. “I got it,” he tells you as he passes you. When the door opens, Yuuji Itadori waves at you with his usual grin. “Hi, Mrs. Fushiguro!”

“Hi, Yuuji. What happened to your face?” You ask. His lip is slightly busted, and there’s a bruise beginning to form on his jaw. Yuuji laughs sheepishly, shoving his hands into the pockets of his yellow hoodie. “Oh, uh, me and Okkotsu fought again. Gojo-sensei had to pull us apart.” 

Megumi rolls his eyes. “I swear, you’re always fighting.”

“Aw, come on, Megumi,” Yuuji teases with a smirk as he crosses his arms. “You’re just as bad. I heard about what happened a few days ago.”

Your son’s cheeks dust with pink, and he clears his throat. “Yeah, whatever. You need to get cleaned up before dinner. Come on, there’s a first-aid kit in the bathroom.” 

Megumi goes upstairs, and Yuuji follows close behind him. You’re about to tell Yuuji that the flap of his backpack is slightly unzipped, but the words get stuck in your throat when you catch the tiniest hint of the red and blue suit. You only see it for a split-second before Yuuji swings his backpack around, excitedly telling Megumi about a new action figure he wants to get for his birthday.

Your eyes widen. Holy shit. 

-----

a/n: lol i can't believe I wrote this. spidey yuuji au, you'll always be loved by me <3

[hihhasotherfixations]

This has been stuck in my head, and I gotta know your opinion. How do you think Price would react to reader showing him the cringe/perverted dms they’ve been getting from newer recruits?

You know, those, “your husband doesn’t doesn’t have to know, babygirl,” messages.

I imagine the reader being like, “haha look at these idiots,” and laughing about how cringe it is while Price is just like, “yeah haha…” while silently seething.

I really liked this so I couldn’t stop myself from writing a little drabble :3

Totally agree with you though

Word Count: 791

“John, look at this.” You chuckled as you leaned over on the couch, leaning onto his lap as you held up your phone for him.

On it, your messenger app sat open, a message from an unknown number, though given it was sent to your work phone, it was clear it was from someone on base.

Frowning, Price grabbed your phone, pulling it away from his face a bit so that he could actually read.

‘Hey sweetheart.

I’ve noticed you seem lonely during training. I can fix that, if you so wish ;)’

Instantly, Price’s brows furrowed deeper, his eyebrows tightening together as he read your reply.

‘I’m married, thank you.’

‘Your husband doesn’t have to know, sweetheart.

I know the old man can’t do what I can. Let me show you what you’ve been craving. You need someone young to satisfy your needs.’

Clenching his teeth, the captain tried to scroll to continue to read, but that’s where the chat ended - you hadn’t deemed the man with a reply.

“It’s ridiculous.” You chuckled. “The absolute gal of some guys, I mean come on.”

Blinking out of his thoughts, Price looked at you, sighing out a breath as he then gave your phone back. “Who is it?”

You took your phone back, placing it beside you on the couch as you shrugged. “Dunno, just some recruit. I got this after one of the skill tests. You were working with new sprouts while I was evaluating, remember?” You ask, turning and laying down with your head on his lap, your legs over the edge of the couch. “Think he saw me on the sidelines and made his own assumptions about my happiness.” You snorted.

Glancing down at you, Price took in a deep breath, his left hand moving to cradle the top of your head. His mind went back to training that morning, trying to recall the faces of all the men - because it was a man, obviously. A bad one at that.

Softly scratching your scalp to distract you, you went back to watching the television while Price stewed in his thoughts, replaying the messages.

Hell, it wasn’t even so much the blatant hitting on you - he trusted you implicitly so that was not an issue. He knew you were happy with him, he was confident in his abilities to care for you and all your needs, emotional and physical. No, it was the fucking petname.

The bastard had used one of his petnames for you.

Sweetheart. It was something he always called you. Be it to tease or genuine, there was always a good time to use it. But now, even thinking about the word left a vile taste in his mouth.

Sitting in silence for a little while, you were just enjoying Price’s ministrations when he suddenly spoke up.

“You think I’m old?”

“Older than that guy, sure, but definitely not old.” You chuckled, glancing up, seeing the frown that had appeared on his brow as you showed him the messages hadn’t left. “Oh, John.” You coo’ed softly and he blinked, looking down.

“What?” Confused, he stopped scratching your head, just holding as he looked at you, then watching you slowly sit up, turning to him as you shuffled closer until your hip was pushed against his thigh, with you facing him.

“You grumpy from the message?” You teased softly and the captain scowled.

“Fuck no. Just thinking about the training for tomorrow.”

Grinning, you placed your hand on his cheek. “You gonna punish all the recruits just for the actions of one?”

“No.” Price countered, though it wasn’t incredibly strong, with him instead just wrapping his arms around your waist, pulling you close.

“You’re adorable.” You smiled, leaning in and starting to press sweet kisses all across his face, a little hum leaving the man until you kissed him on the lips.

Instantly he responded, his hand moving up to cradle the back of your head as he then pulled you into his lap, deepening the kiss.

Smiling into it, you pulled away after a moment. “See? Adorable.”

Huffing a little chuckle, Price dropped his hand to your neck, brushing the back of his fingers across your skin. “In your eyes maybe. But you on the other hand need to stop being so damn desirable, sweetheart. Lest I need to set up a fortress to keep others out.”

At that, you threw your head back and laughed, a proud grin spreading on Price’s face as he held your waist to keep you steady while you did.

He knew you were his. And that was never going to change.

He was still intensifying the training for tomorrow though. You know, as a reply message for the recruit. And a warning.

[chiyuuchu]

Who the hell would buy a Labubu? <3 (3rd November 2024)

Bakugou Katsuki x Reader

Prompt! Bakugou overhears his crush whining over wanting a Labubu and goes out of his way for it

The cafeteria was shrouding with the latest trend: Labubu figures. Everywhere you looked, someone seemed to be talking about them, pulling up pictures on their phones, or showing off new additions to their collections. The Bakusquad was no exception.

“Dude, have you seen these things?” Kaminari said, scrolling through his phone and shoving it in Bakugou’s direction. “They’re called Labubu. Apparently, they’re, like, the hottest thing right now.”

Bakugou gave the screen a disgusted look, raising an eyebrow at the tiny creature with big, weird eyes and a goofy grin. “What the hell is that? And who’d pay that much for something so ugly?”

Kirishima chuckled, trying to explain. “I dunno, man, it’s kinda cute in a strange way. People are obsessed with them. They’re even blind boxes, so you don’t know which one you’re gonna get until you open it.”

Bakugou scoffed. “So you’re telling me people are throwing cash away on some creepy-looking gremlin they don’t even get to choose? That’s dumb.”

Just as he was shaking his head, he heard a familiar laugh nearby. He glanced over to see Y/N with a few of the other girls, chatting excitedly, and his ears perked up when he caught her mention the word “Labubu.”

“I’ve wanted one for ages,” Y/N said, her eyes sparkling as she spoke. “Especially the pink one, Dada. It’s so cute! I’ve tried to find it, but it’s sold out everywhere.”

Mina nodded enthusiastically. “They’re hard to get your hands on right now. But I bet you’ll find one soon, Y/N! They’re so you.”

Bakugou’s eyebrows knitted together as he watched her. He didn’t get the appeal of those weird little figures, but seeing Y/N light up while talking about it stirred something he couldn’t quite ignore.

Turning back to his friends, he scowled even harder. “It’s still ugly,” he muttered, though now his mind was racing with the thought of Y/N smiling with one of those creepy toys in her hands.

He didn’t get the appeal, but… maybe it wouldn’t hurt to try finding one for her anyway.

Bakugou pushed through the door of the specialty store, the bell jingling above him. He took a quick glance around, noting the colorful shelves lined with various Labubu figures. Each one looked weirder than the last, and he scowled at the thought of spending money on such ridiculous toys.

“Can I help you?” the cashier asked, her friendly tone grating on his nerves.

“Yeah, I need one of those Labubu things,” he said, crossing his arms.

“Which one?” she replied, eyeing him curiously.

“Uh, the pink one. The Dada,” he muttered, trying to sound casual.

“Oh! That one’s really popular,” she said, her eyes brightening. “But it’s a blind box, so you won’t know if you get it until you open it.”

Bakugou frowned, the frustration boiling in his chest. “What do you mean? How the hell am I supposed to know if I get the pink one?”

“It’s random,” she explained, shrugging. “You can buy one box, but there’s no guarantee.”

He huffed, feeling the pressure of time ticking away. Y/N had been talking about wanting a Labubu for weeks, and if he was going to do this, he wanted to make sure he got the right one. “Fine, give me six.”

The cashier blinked in surprise. “You want a bulk pack?”

“Just give me the damn boxes!” he snapped, not wanting to waste time debating. The thought of Y/N’s smile pushed him to act, no matter how ridiculous it seemed.

After paying for the bulk pack, he exited the store, the weight of the bag heavy in his hands. He couldn’t help but feel a mix of embarrassment and determination as he headed back to the dorm.

Once he got inside, Bakugou tossed the bag onto his bed and unzipped it, revealing the six colorful Labubu boxes inside. He could feel a sense of anticipation building up in him. “Let’s get this over with,” he muttered, grabbing the first box.

With each box he opened, his heart raced. The first one revealed a bright green Labubu with silly eyes. “Nope,” he said, tossing it aside.

He tore through the second box, revealing a blue one. “Not it either,” he grumbled, throwing it next to the first.

The third box contained a purple Labubu, which only added to his growing annoyance. “This is ridiculous,” he muttered, grabbing the fourth box.

As he opened the fourth, a yellow Labubu stared back at him, and he groaned loudly. “Why is this so hard?”

He moved to the fifth box, desperate for a win. But it only brought another bizarre figure. “Are you kidding me?!” he shouted, tossing it aside in frustration.

Finally, he reached the last box, his heart pounding with hope. He ripped it open, pulling the figure out slowly.

As the pink Labubu came into view, his breath hitched. “Yes! Finally!” he exclaimed, unable to contain his excitement. It was the Dada Labubu, the one Y/N had wanted the most.

Bakugou quickly shoved the figure back into its box, a grin spreading across his face. He couldn’t wait to see Y/N’s reaction when he surprised her with it.

“Now I just have to figure out how to give this to her without making it weird,” he murmured, already plotting the perfect moment to reveal his secret.

Class 1-A was buzzing with excitement and chatter during lunch, but Bakugou barely noticed. All he could focus on was the small, carefully wrapped box sitting in his bag, and his heart was beating a little faster than he wanted to admit.

He glanced across the classroom at Y/N, who was laughing with Mina, and felt a surge of warmth he tried hard to ignore. For weeks, she’d been talking nonstop about how she couldn’t find a Labubu figure anywhere. She’d checked every store, every website, but they were sold out, leaving her heartbroken and, to his quiet dismay, a bit gloomy.

Bakugou had found himself listening to her without meaning to, her excitement and disappointment lingering in his mind longer than he’d expected. After a while, he couldn’t shake it; he’d gotten up, practically stormed through every store he could think of, and, by some miracle, found the last Labubu in stock. It was ridiculous how much effort he’d gone through—but he’d done it. For her.

Taking a deep breath, he stood up, box in hand. The class quieted as they noticed him crossing the room, eyes widening in surprise when he stopped in front of Y/N’s desk.

“Bakugou?” she asked, looking up at him with a puzzled smile.

He held out the box, clearing his throat as he forced himself to meet her gaze. “Here. Since you wouldn’t shut up about it.”

Her eyes widened, realization dawning as she carefully took the box from his hands, hands slightly trembling. “Wait… no way…”

“Yeah, it’s that damn Labubu you kept going on about,” he muttered, his voice softer than usual. “Figured you’d be happier if you had it.”

Her expression shifted from disbelief to awe as she looked at him, her face lighting up in a way that made his heart stutter. She opened the box slowly, as if savoring the moment, and when she saw the figure, her eyes filled with happiness and something else—a warmth that made his face feel unexpectedly hot.

“Bakugou… thank you,” she whispered, her voice gentle, like he was seeing a side of her she usually kept hidden. She bit her lip, staring at the Labubu and then back at him. “I can’t believe you actually found it. I’ve wanted this for so long, and you… you really did this for me?”

“Don’t get any ideas,” he grumbled, looking away, his cheeks dusted pink. “It was just… annoying to hear you complain about it every day.”

But she only laughed softly, shaking her head. “You’re really sweet, you know that?”

The class, watching the exchange, started to murmur, sharing knowing glances and grins. Kaminari leaned over to Kirishima, whispering, “Dude, Bakugou’s totally got it bad.”

“Shut up, idiots!” Bakugou barked, his voice snapping the class back into silence, but the embarrassment only made him redder.

Y/N giggled, and without thinking, she stepped closer and hugged him, burying her face against his shoulder. “Thank you, Bakugou. Really. This means so much to me.”

He froze, feeling the warmth of her arms around him, and for a split second, all his defenses melted away. His hand hovered before he slowly placed a palm on her head, just for a moment. “You’re welcome,” he mumbled, his voice barely above a whisper, only for her to hear.

When she pulled away, her cheeks were flushed, but her eyes sparkled with joy. “Guess I owe you one now, huh?”

“Tch, whatever,” he muttered, but his gaze softened as he watched her. “Just… don’t lose it, alright?”

She nodded, clutching the figure to her chest. “Don’t worry, I won’t.”

“Open it,” he said, crossing his arms, trying to look indifferent. “If you’re lucky, it’ll be the one you wanted, right?”

She grinned, carefully unwrapping the box with everyone watching, the anticipation building in the air. The class waited with bated breath as she peeled back the top, lifting out the mystery figure. Her eyes sparkled with excitement as she slowly unwrapped it, revealing…

A flash of pink fur.

She gasped, holding up the tiny pink Labubu figure—Dada. It was the exact one she’d been hoping for, the one she’d mentioned every time the topic came up.

The girls beside her all gasped.

“No way! It’s Dada! The pink one!” she squealed, looking up at him with a mixture of shock and happiness. “Bakugou, this is the one I wanted most!”

He shrugged, fighting a smirk. “Guess you got lucky, then.”

She stared at the figure, clearly overwhelmed, then met his eyes with a soft smile that made his heart skip. “Thank you, Bakugou. Really. This is perfect.”

The class burst into soft laughter and teasing whispers, and Kirishima nudged him with a grin. “Aw, man, you really went all out!”

Bakugou scowled, looking away to hide the warmth creeping up his face. “I just wanted some peace and quiet, alright?”

But Y/N only laughed, cradling her Dada Labubu, and gave him a look that told him she saw right through him. And, just this once, Bakugou didn’t mind.

After the excitement of lunch had settled and the class had dispersed, Bakugou found himself sitting alone in his room, staring at the collection of Labubu boxes he still had. He’d returned home with the six he’d bought, but after seeing Y/N’s joy, he hadn’t had the heart to keep the rest.

He picked up the boxes one by one, contemplating what to do with them. They were all the same—a mix of colors and characters he couldn’t remember the names of, each one just as bizarre as the last. He scowled, trying to shake off the thought that maybe he could just toss them or give them to someone else.

With a sigh, he stood and marched over to Y/N’s room, rapping his knuckles against her door. “Hey! You in there?”

A muffled voice called back, “Yeah, just a second!” The sound of shuffling filled the air before the door swung open to reveal Y/N, her eyes sparkling with curiosity.

“Uh… I was thinking.” He rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly, avoiding her gaze. “I don’t know what to do with these,” he said, gesturing to the boxes. “So, here.”

He shoved them into her arms, watching as her eyes widened in surprise. “Wait, what? Bakugou, are you serious?” She looked down at the colorful boxes, clearly taken aback.

“Yeah, yeah. Just take them. I don’t want them.” He shrugged, trying to play it cool even though he felt a rush of warmth at seeing her so happy.

Y/N laughed in disbelief as she glanced at the boxes, her heart racing with excitement. “But… these are all so expensive! Are you sure you don’t want them?”

“Does it look like I want them?” Bakugou snapped, but he didn’t mean to sound harsh. “I already got you the pink one. Just take them, dammit!”

She was still processing, her mind racing with thoughts. “I can’t believe you’re giving me all of these. Bakugou, this is so generous of you!”

He scoffed, crossing his arms defensively. “Don’t go making it weird. I just didn’t want to deal with them.”

But as she looked up at him, her smile genuine and bright, he felt something shift in his chest. “Wait, you’re keeping the yellow one, right?”

Bakugou blinked, the question catching him off guard. “What? No, I just—”

“Wait, you like Labubu?” she asked, tilting her head with a teasing grin.

“W-What? No!” He turned red, the rush of embarrassment hitting him like a tidal wave. “I mean, it’s just… it’s growing on me, okay?”

She laughed, clearly enjoying his flustered state. “Yeah, right! Just admit it! You like them.”

“Shut up!” he barked, but the corner of his mouth twitched upward against his will.

“You do! I knew it!” she teased, playfully nudging him.

Bakugou huffed, turning his head away, but deep down, he couldn’t shake the feeling that maybe, just maybe, those weird little figures weren’t so bad after all. Not when they made her smile like that.

The next day, the sun shone brightly over U.A. as Bakugou made his way to class, still riding the high of Y/N's delighted reaction to her pink Labubu. But as he entered the classroom, the teasing atmosphere hit him like a ton of bricks.

“Look who’s proud of his new friend!” Kaminari called out, pointing at Bakugou’s backpack, where the yellow Labubu dangled from a clip. “Nice one, Bakugou! Is that your pet now?”

Bakugou glared at him, scowling as he rolled his eyes. “Shut the hell up, you idiot. It’s just a stupid thing.”

“Stupid?!” Kirishima laughed, leaning over to get a better look. “You’re the one who bought six of them! And now you’ve got one clipped to your bag? Sounds like you’re a fan!”

“Just because I bought one doesn’t mean I’m a fan!” Bakugou snapped, the heat rising in his cheeks. “I’m just making sure it doesn’t get lost, dumbass.”

Just then, Y/N walked in, her own bag swinging at her side, the pink Labubu proudly displayed as it dangled from the strap. The moment her classmates spotted her, the teasing escalated.

“Hey, Y/N! Looks like you and Bakugou have matching accessories!” Mina chimed in, her eyes sparkling with mischief. “Isn’t that adorable?”

Y/N’s cheeks flushed as she smiled, glancing over at Bakugou, who was scowling like he was about to explode. “I guess so! I mean, he found it for me after all,” she said, her tone light and playful.

Bakugou tried to suppress the grin that threatened to break through as Y/N beamed at him, but his friends weren’t having it.

“Aww, Bakugou! You two are, like, Labubu buddies now!” Kaminari teased, wiggling his eyebrows. “Next thing we know, you’ll be collecting them together!”

“Shut up!” Bakugou growled, though the edge of his voice was dulled by a hint of embarrassment. “It’s just a coincidence!”

“Yeah, right,” Kirishima chuckled. “I can see it now: ‘Bakugou and Y/N, the ultimate Labubu collectors!’”

“Ugh! Just drop it already!” Bakugou shouted, crossing his arms defensively. He tried to focus on the board, but he could feel Y/N’s gaze on him, a mix of amusement and something softer that made his heart race.

As the laughter and teasing continued, Y/N stepped closer to Bakugou, a playful glint in her eye. “You know, I think you look cute with your little Labubu,” she said, her voice teasing yet sincere. “And it really suits you.”

Bakugou’s cheeks burned, and he turned away quickly, trying to hide his embarrassment. “Tch! It’s not cute! It’s just… it’s just practical!”

But Y/N’s laughter echoed in his ears, and as he caught her smile, he couldn’t help but feel a warmth spreading in his chest. Maybe having the yellow Labubu wasn’t so bad after all.

[coquettetoji]

i need more bf armin if you can please🥹🥹

i’m such a hoe for this man so like

QUESTIONS WITH BF ARMIN 🎀

warnings: literally just gonna make you hate couples in love, i’m nauseous reading my own writing bc i want this so bad. a little suggestive but doesn’t get into it much

context: y/n, as armin’s lovely girlfriend, asks him a series of questions in her own little interview that she records on her phone.

✧─── ･ ｡ﾟ★: *.✦ .* :★. ───✧

it was your average Tuesday night, and you with your ever so spontaneous ideas wanted to sit down with your boyfriend of 2 years— Armin, to put him to the test on a multitude of semi-serious but mostly ridiculous questions.

you take in a deep overdramatic sigh, staring at your boyfriend with a dead-set look in your eyes “so, armin.” you cross your arms in front of you as you sit criss cross apple sauce straddled in his lap, with a small stack of flash cards held in your hands. your phone was stood up by a box of paper tissues off to the side, showing both you and your boyfriend in the phone screen recording.

“yes, baby?” he answers you with a soft dazed smile, his pupils dilated staring at you intently, hands on your waist drawing small circles waiting for you to ask him the oh-so-serious questions, he shouldn’t be scared. after all, they’re just some questions, right?

you stare at him with a glare trying to look intimidating, “question one…” you trail off dramatically.

Armin stares at you with a stifled smile, trying to remain serious just for your sake and to make you happy for this little TikTok trend you want to participate in again. He leans slightly forward to place a small chaste kiss on your cheek.

“that was not part of the question, i told you to be serious.” you huff jokingly but he just smiles brightly up at you.

“i can’t help it, you’re right here in my reach and you’re just so- ugh..” he emphasizes with a fake swoon and a chuckle.

“okay, AGHEM-”

✧─── ･ ｡ﾟ★: *.✦ .* :★. ───✧

question number 1:

“what pet names do you call me the most? n’ what’s the favorite name that I call you?” you say sweetly. your eyes bore into his awaiting his answers while clutching onto your flash cards.

his fingers lightly tapped the sides of your legs, occasionally tracing small circles dazedly as he thought about it.

“i call you baby the most. i dunno what else. there’s sweetheart, angel, honey. momm-” he trails before you cut him off and stare at the camera with wide eyes. you clear your throat slightly side eyeing the camera before returning your view to him and his stupidly adorable dazed smile.

“OKAY! and what’s your favorite name that i call you, minnie?” you ask him with a tilt of your head, reaching a hand out to play with the tufts of his blonde hair.

he huffs, softly dropping his head onto your chest while wrapping his arms around you tighter, squeezing gently.

“mmm, i like everything you call me. but i think that one time i was uh like panicky and stressed and you called me baby, my heart kinda j-just like.. skipped. ya know? like what are they called— heart palpitations? in that situation it just made me feel really good.” he tilts his head up at you, his chin propped up, slightly rambling.

in this moment he really just looked like the embodiment of the cutest golden retriever ever.

you smile at him, “you’re just adorable aren’t you?” he reacts to this with a small blush forming on his cheeks shaking his head side to side slightly.

“y/n/n you have to cut off some parts of this video. i ramble too much when it comes to you i just start rapid firing shit out like i’m rapping.”

“it’s for comedic purposes. shush.”

✧─── ･ ｡ﾟ★: *.✦ .* :★. ───✧

question number 2:

“if you would rather have me with the personality of your ex, or your ex with my body. who would you choose to date? choose carefully and think about what you say before you say it.” you tease him.

his eyes widen slightly as if you had just asked him the most life threatening question ever (honestly to him it could be).

“w-well..” he buffers. he looks up at the ceiling in deep thought or as if it’s gonna have an answer written out on it.

“i would remain single until you return back to normal.” he nods, seemingly assured that his answer was the right one.

you stare blankly at him, then at the camera, then back to him. “the audience is going to have to decide on that one.” you assert.

at this armin’s eyebrows furrow confusedly and his arms wrap around you tighter. “w-what? baby i don’t have much to work with here for an answer.” he sasses.

“you could’ve just said you would- you could like- well in the sense that.. yeah you’re lowkey right.” you shrug sheepishly.

he rolls his eyes jokingly, “can i ask you a question now?”

“if this is another question like gay son or thot daughter im not answering it.”

he laughs slightly, “no no no. it’s something different.”

you nod for him to continue, “what is it then?”

“uhhh can we turn off the camera for this one?” he looks at the camera quickly before returning his eyes back to you.

your eyebrows raised at his shy question, his gaze adverting from you and staring down at your his shirt that you are wearing.

“whisper it to me.”

pst pst pst whisper whisper whisper

you stare blankly at him after pulling the side of your head away from his face with a rosy pink blush now surfacing on your cheeks.

“s-so you see.. i can not answer that…?” you buffer just as he did earlier.

he giggled softly at your confuzzled expression and he squeezed your leg gently with his hand.

“mm see how you can’t answer that one either, angel?” he grinned smugly tilting his chin up at you slightly.

“oh shut up.”

(news flash: he asked you what position he hits it best in 😸)

✧─── ･ ｡ﾟ★: *.✦ .* :★. ───✧

question number 3:

you grab your phone, quickly clicking the .5 button as the phone camera zooms out in view, now causing armin in the view of the camera to look a bit—stretched?

he stares up at the camera, the angle making his puppy eyes just like that much larger and cuter in the process.

“can we not film me from this angle, baby? i don’t get to look at you properly with the phone in the way.” he huffs slightly.

“no.”

“yes ma’am.”

“anyways, next question and i want you to think about this in depth.” you nudge him

he hums along, “i’m listening.”

“what made you realize you loved me?” you ask him deeply.

this question causes armins mind to suddenly blank over a tad bit just to reminisce about the first moments he met you.

he stares up into the camera as you try and withhold a laugh at how stupidly cute the .5 angle is making him look.

flashback:

it was junior year of high school, and at your lovely age of 17.

the teacher was passing back the recent scores from your latest exams. high school was definitely hard but you always seemed to manage with your high grades, expectations, and your extremely competitive nature.

the only person who seemed to have always come close to you or beat you was Armin Arlert.

*insert sparkle noises here*

yeah, he was a little infuriating when it came to competitive aspects but his pretty face lets him get away with it—but definitely not when it comes to you right?

the teacher came around the corner and placed your paper upside down on the surface of your desk. feeling confident with the results, you flip it over to reveal the high score of 98 percent on the white parchment. with a giddy smile, you turn directly behind you in your chair to come face to face with Armin.

only to see him already staring directly at you with a dimpled smile.

“98. what did you get, arlert?” you boast to him while holding up your paper.

“really? i can’t believe it after your poor performance last time.” he teased still grinning at you.

“i got a 90 last time, that’s not even poor.” you roll your ey at him with your mouth slightly agape. “what did you get if you’re so smart?” you huff.

he hummed, his glasses shifting slightly down the bridge of his nose as he leaned slightly forward closer to you in his seat, “a 94, y/n/n.” however his paper remained flipped over and his forearm rested on top of it.

you glanced down at his desk where his veiny arms lay upon the paper, your tried to squint to see some type of number in red but his arms covered it.

you brushed this off, instead focusing on how you scored higher than him as an even bigger smile now appeared on your face. “hm, better catch up next time, arlert.” you nudge him.

“you already know i will, princess.” he nods as his he leaned his head on his left hand looking into your eyes.

you turn around in your seat and face back towards your desk as the school bell rings to signal the next period of the school day. “i’ll see you tomorrow, might wanna get back to studying a little more.”

you pack up your bags, proudly stuffing the 98% exam in your bag. zipping up your backup, you smile, happily leaving the classroom oblivious to Armin’s lovingly proud gaze, as well as his now-flipped-over exam on his desk that revealed a 100%.

flashback over

armin looked up into your eyes with you still in his lap, disregarding the camera shoved into his face.

“i think the moment i realized i would do anything to make you happy, even lie and make myself look worse, is when i just knew i would do absolutely anything for you.” he gushed.

“like you didn’t even know i lied about half my scores until like a year ago. i just loved seeing you smile because you’re so just— ahh.” he hums as he throws his head back slightly and dramatically with a toothy grin.

you cup his cheeks in your hands as you trail your eyes over all his features. “i’m honored that if anyone was my academic rival, it was you, blondie.”

“oh stop it.” he gushed. “but yeah, i just knew when i just felt that weird feeling in my chest every time i saw you happy.”

your heart felt as if it was going to explode, sure you’ve been with armin for a solid 2 years. but this has never really ever been brought up.

“and i also realized when i had the urge to throw jean against a wall when he was flirting with you.”

“okay well atleast chivalry isn’t dead.” you sigh, armin laughs before reaching up slightly to place a gentle peck on your lips.

✧─── ･ ｡ﾟ★: *.✦ .* :★. ───✧

let’s just say the peck led to other things because your lips now were noticeably swollen and your hair was messy from armin’s hands running through it.

you pick up your phone camera that was absentmindedly discarded when the two of your guys’ small peck definitely did NOT escalate into a make-out session **blame armin.

“so g-guys.” you take a second to collect your breath. “that’s some questions that my boyfriend answered. this definitely will get me banned if i post all the clips but they will be edited so..” you glance at armin who drags his eyes from up and down your body.

“yeah. i gotta go.” you quickly blurt before clicking the end record button then immediately drop your phone back onto the couch, crawling back into armin’s lap and continuing where you left off.

“love you, love you, love you.” armin mumbles against your lips, clutching his arms tighter around your middle.

✧─── ･ ｡ﾟ★: *.✦ .* :★. ───✧

notes —

hi guys!! lets just pretend it hasn’t been 2 months since i last posted. i’m reading requests and im gonna try and put out as much as i can before spring break ends. thank you for all the love and support <3

also armin as a hot nerd is just everything i’ll ever need.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

I’m so sorry for this guys but

AITA for telling someone their horse was masturbating?

Basically does what it says on the tin. For those of you who don’t know horses can masturbate. It’s most common in male horses under the age of three who have not had their testicles removed and who are confined to a stall or small pen and get really bored. They typically grow out of the behaviour once they’re older or given more freedom. Some owners try to train them to stop it from happening but most just ignore it because it’s better than other boredom behaviours like cribbing and wind-sucking (both are SFW to Google btw).

Anyway, I’m a groom and stable hand, mid-twenties now but been working at my job since I was fifteen (part-time then, now full-time). The stable I work at boards horses and gives lessons but also offers training for young horses, so we get a lot of OTTB here – that is “off-the-track Thoroughbreds”, so ex-racing horses that people typically buy cheap and then retrain to be show jumpers or dressage horses or whatever. One such horse is Bert, who is the horse in question in this situation.

Bert has excellent bloodlines but he sucked as a racing horse so he was sold OTT. The man who bought him, I’ll just call him John, knows nothing about horses – he’s a total beginner in every way, has never ridden and pays other people (including me) to take care of Bert, but claims to be an expert in everything equine because Bert cost him so much money (I don’t know the actual amount but he’s in the section of the stable where the $20,000 Warmbloods are boarded so I’m assuming around that amount which is a lot yes but also not the most expensive horse we’ve had here).

Anyway the actual story – I’m at work cleaning out stalls when John walks past, he completely ignores me as he always does so I do the same and get back to work. A few minutes later he goes sprinting back in the opposite direction which I thought was weird but whatever, I kept mucking, until I heard him shouting for help. I went out into the aisle and he’s there shouting at another groom and demanding to know the emergency vets number (it was a weekday morning btw, so he didn’t need the emergency vet, he just needed the regular vet but that’s meaningless anyway). I went over to see what was happening and he tells me his horse (Bert) is ‘acting weird’ and needs a vet immediately, so I offer to go see Bert for myself and then call the vet if necessary.

So basically yeah Bert was masturbating. Had an erection, was rocking about rubbing it on his tummy, and did NOT want anyone going in his stall or touching him. John points at Bert and says something like “see, he’s sick!” and then tells me Bert tried to attack him when he entered the stall and I just, I dunno, I cough and say that Bert is fine and just wants some privacy right now, figuring that the obvious erection might be a giveaway as to what’s happening? But John turned to me and blurts out word for word “are you an actual retard” and then starts cursing at me and telling me I know nothing and Bert needs a vet etc and so on. I kind of blanked on everything else he said after he called me a retard to be honest because WTF? I don’t really know what went on in my brain in the next few seconds but I ended up shouting – yes, shouting, extremely loudly, it fucking echoed in the stable – “he doesn’t need a vet because HE’S JUST MASTURBATING” in John’s face and then walking back to the stall I’d been mucking.

As I got back to the stall I heard laughter from a couple of aisles over. Apparently my co-workers and some riders who were there had all heard me shout and found it hilarious, and that made me laugh too because it was so freaking ridiculous. I honestly kind of forgot the entire encounter afterwards because we had a horse who actually needed a vet a little while later and yeah, John and Bert just slipped my mind.

I didn’t remember until that afternoon when my boss came to see me and said he’d had a complaint from John who wanted me fired. I did not get fired but I did get ‘warned’ (just a formality, my boss didn’t actually punish me but wanted me to act like I had been if John questioned me later, which he never did). John complained that I’d treated him like an idiot, spoken down to him, and “acted above my position” (those were the exact words he used) causing people to laugh at him. I explained the entire situation to my boss, who also laughed, and that was that, nothing else ever came of it aside from my co-workers telling the story of me shouting HE’S MASTURBATING so loudly it scared a pony into jumping so suddenly that it farted to everyone they possibly could.

Since then John has ignored me even more than before which I honestly consider a blessing, and I would leave this situation thinking I’m NTA except that one of my co-workers brought their boyfriend to the stable recently and when they introduced us the boyfriend said something like ‘oh right, you’re the asshole who talks down to people who don’t know everything about horses’ and yeah. My co-worker was blindsided by that as well and we basically both said you don’t have to know everything about horses to know what an erection means, but since then I’ve been wondering if I am TA in this situation? Like, clearly there were better ways to tell John what his horse was doing, but he called me a retard and also I get paid to take care of horses not to teach the birds and the bees to fifty year olds so I don’t know. I’ll let Tumblr decide.

So, AITA for telling John his horse was masturbating?

Additional info: I'm on a rota with other stable hands so I sometimes groom Bert, muck his stall, attend to his vet/farrier appointments, give him worming paste, etc and so on. I am not his trainer and have no input into when he gets to leave his stall. I've mentioned to my boss a couple of times that he boredom stims and should be in a paddock with other young horses, but John refuses to agree to that for reasons I don't know. My boss has since spoken to Bert's trainer who is now trying to convince John to let Bert have more time outdoors.

What are these acronyms?

[wileys-russo]

can we pls get ready x leah and/or lessi on the beach in portugal?? maybe sneaking off to have alone time while the teams all there etc. etc.

portugal sunsets II l.williamson

you watched with a shake of your head at the sight of kyra grappling around on the ground with katie, the irishwoman threatening to make your national teammate eat sand as kyra desperately struggled to get away and make a run for it.

"help me!" kyra reached out for your hand as you kicked it away making her gasp and katie grin wolfishly, shoving kyras head into the sand.

"no loyalty!" the midfielder yelled at you with a grunt, elbowing katie and trying to break away as the girl grabbed her ankle and sent her flying back down into the sand.

"do we step in and stop them?" steph appeared beside you with an amused smile as you firmly shook your head. "no way. i hope ky eats sand she tied all my shoes together last night and she's been trying to cheat this entire game." you shrugged as steph hummed in agreement.

"she's really taking this annoying little sister title in her stride isn't she?" you sighed as kyra broke free, sprinting away to tackle an unsuspecting caitlin to the floor as katie dove to dog pile on top of the both of them, kyra tossing handfuls of sand at both girls as if it was snow.

"well she's only taken the title from you hasn't she?" steph cooed pinching at your cheeks condescendingly making you roll your eyes. "i am twenty four year olds steffy i am not the baby anymore!" you huffed wrenching her hands off and shoving her playfully.

"you'll always be a tillies baby. because never will we forget the nervous little kid in a training shirt two sizes too big and her socks on inside out showing up for her first senior call up!" steph teased as you groaned at the memory, the two of you walking down the beach and away from the game which had now resumed.

"i was really nervous okay!" you defended with a pout, body slumping into stephs making her stumble a little as you hugged yourself into her side. the brunette called away by jen you waved off their invitations to join in and wandered back toward your girlfriend.

you chuckled and shook your head at the sight of her laid down on a towel in the sun, bundled up in a ridiculous amount of layers for the only slightly cool air with a pair of sunglasses covering her eyes, hands tucked behind her head.

"you know babe the whole paint of tanning is to actually expose your skin to the sun so it tans." you teased, leahs head turning as your body flopped down beside her, nudging her to move over a little.

"get your own towel." leah mumbled, finger tips pressing to your forehead and pushing you away as you tried to tuck into her. "leah!" you huffed in offence, sitting up and glaring down at her as her lips curled into a smug smile and she opened her arms.

"only jokin gorgeous." she patted your cheek a few times as your head rested on her chest. "why are you wearing so many layers? its a lovely sunny day." you laughed as your girlfriend shrugged.

"dunno i'm comfy." she murmured and you rolled your eyes at the use of her favorite word. "my love you're the first one to complain about english weather and here we are abroad in the sunshine and you're dressed for a rainy day at colney!" you laughed at her thick puffer which was shrugged on over a hoodie and track pants, all the arsenal training gear of course.

"then the loafer slides...didn't realise i was dating a dirty old man." you teased earning yourself a sharp pinch to your exposed thigh. unlike your english girlfriend you were embracing the weather in shorts and a training top, your hoodie loaned to laura who forgot hers back at the hotel.

"you're so mean to me." your girlfriend sighed, eyes still closed and covered by her sunglasses. "maybe, you kinda like it though." you pushed yourself up onto your elbows and hovered over her, the corner of the blondes mouth curling into a smile confirming your words.

"and you give as good as you get, don't pretend like you're nice and sweet and chivalrous all the time williamson." you clicked your tongue at her as her smile grew.

"stop!" leah whined as you continued to poke at her, smacking your hands away. "oo jackpot! thank you." you found and fished a chocolate bar out of the pocket of her pants, laying back down on the towel. "oi you little thief thats mine!" the blonde protested as you sat peeled it open, taking a bite with a grin and sitting up trying to wriggle away from her grabby hands.

"well darling whats yours is mine and whats mine is ours." you explained moving it out of reach as she tried to reach for it. "you better at least share!" leah grunted, grabbing at you and dragging you back to the ground.

"you're gonna get it all sandy you idiot!" leah groaned, eventually plucking it from your fingers. "such a pest." leah pinched your cheek as your head settled in her lap and she finished off the last couple bites, tucking the rubbish into her pocket and resting back on her arms.

"oh go ahead, didn't want those anyway." leah scoffed as your own arm reached up to snatch her sunglasses, placing them down over your own eyes as you blew her a kiss.

"think i deserve a proper one for all this sharing and caring." leah tutted, dipping her head so her lips just ghosted over yours.

"mm i guess you've been pretty well behaved today." you teased with a hum, stroking your chin thoughtfully. "yeah thats cause i'm a good girl." leah smirked with her infuriatingly attractive accent though right before she could close the minuscule gap which was left between the two of you there was a shout.

"leah heads!" your girlfriend looked up right at the wrong time as the aussie rules ball kyra had insisted on bringing everywhere with her this trip sailed through the air, smacking her right in the side of the head.

"leah i am so so sorry!" steph apologized profusely with wide eyes, hurrying over with beth in tow who was too busy laughing at your girlfriends misfortune as she grabbed the ball back off the sand.

"just a little tip when someone says heads leah it doesnt mean to look up it means to duck!" beth patted the girls shoulder sarcastically as the defender glared at her and you squeezed her leg sympathetically.

"yeah cheers mate!" leah grumbled with a frown, steph apologizing again as leah mumbled it was fine and you sent the brunette a smile and mouthed it was okay as she left the two of you be.

"come on then cranky lets go for a walk." you patted her thigh and hauled yourself up to your feet, holding out your hand for her. "up you get!" you wiggled your fingers impatiently as leah groaned.

"i'm concussed i can't go for a walk." her arms fell to cover her face as she lay back down. "you are not concussed! honestly you're the most dramatic woman i've ever met you could get a papercut and tell the doctor your finger needs amputating." you smiled as she moved her arms slightly and shot you a glare.

"come onnn, up you get! go leah! go leah!" you clapped and cooed at her, encouraging as if you might a toddler or a puppy as her look of distaste continued to grow. "im so tired." leah sighed, arms flopping to her sides.

"leah you are not being very romantic, acting like asking you to spend time with me is apparently a grave inconvenience." you frowned, folding your arms across your chest.

"baby no thats not-" "well hello lovebirds, not quarreling are we?" lia arrived with an amused look as you smiled knowing this would work to your advantage.

"wally she's being a bad girlfriend." you accused with a point as leah sat up and scoffed. "i am not! she's just being annoying." leah retaliated as you gasped sarcastically and clutched at your chest.

"you see the way she speaks about me? all i wanted to do was go for a lovely little sunset stroll together hand in hand down the beach and she won't get up!" you pushed your foot into leahs side making her whine.

"well then i will go for a lovely sunset walk with you instead. come on schönes mädchen!" lia offered you her hand as you interlocked your fingers and started to walk away with her. "i give it thirty seconds." the swiss mumbled to you knowingly with your backs turned to your girlfriend.

"i give it ten." you shot her a grin as sure enough within seconds leah was scrambling to her feet and sprinting after the two of you. you squealed as her arms wrapped around your waist, her hand smacking lia's away from yours as she lifted you into the air and carried you away.

"you are welcome, enjoy your romantic sunset walk my lovers!" lia called after the two of you with a grin as you waved to her over leahs shoulder before she placed you back down on your feet, her fingers interlocking with yours tightly.

"you're so easy to get to bite." you teased, the girl bringing your interlocked fingers up to her mouth and placing a few soft kisses to the back of your hand. "and you're a wind up." leah rebutted before the two of you fell into a comfortable silence and you swung your hands back and forth.

the chatter, laughs and yelling of your teammates and friends faded into the background the further the two of you walked, eventually reaching the end of the beach and the rocky cliff face loomed in front.

"view would be better from the top!" you grinned suggestively, leah sighing dramatically before agreeing, but not before of course her competitive nature kicked in and she deemed it a race.

"oi! cheat." leah laughed as you took off running, shoving her aside and racing up the small hill that lead to the top, grateful you'd chosen to wear trainers today and not slides.

"loser, loser, loser!" you chanted as you reached the top first, watching as leah struggled up after you. "oh yeah sorry dunno if you realised i done my acl!" leah huffed, eyebrows furrowed in annoyance at the loss as she finally reached the top.

"that excuse has an expiry date you know baby and its coming up fast." you teased as leah grabbed your hand again, the sun had already started to set, bathing you both in the warm burnt orange of the golden hour glow.

you dropped the blondes hand and wandered closer toward the edge, leah warning you to be careful as you snapped a few photos. you missed the way your girlfriend watched like a lovesick puppy at the soft smile which graced your face, forever in love with sunrises and sunsets.

whenever you and leah were apart that was always something you knew drew you together, the two of you sending photos of the sunset to one another for every day you were apart, which was more often than either of you liked given you were born and raised on opposite sides of the world.

"c'mere and give us a cuddle sweets." leah was quick to pull your body into hers once you were within reach again, your back tucking into her front as her arms hugged you tightly and your hands rested on top of hers.

a few beats of silence passed as the two of you just watched the dying sun and the way the sky changed colour, wrapped up tightly in a shared embrace, leahs chin coming to rest on your shoulder.

"don't think i'll ever get over how pretty the sky can be." you sighed happily. "don't think i'll ever get over how pretty you can be." leah sang out with a smile, nose tucking into your neck as her lips peppered warm kisses along the skin of your shoulder.

"charmer." you smiled, more sweet words mumbled into your ear as she continued to trail kisses across every inch of your skin her lips could find.

"see baby girl? i can be very romantic." leah murmured, one hand coming to grab your chin and gently tilt your head back, rewarding you with a soft and tender kiss.

"it was my idea to come up here! all you did was walk with me and even that wasn't without complaint, few cute words doesn't change your moaning about it." you teased, pecking her lips a few times.

"yeah but here we are havin a cuddle, havin a kiss, watchin the sunset, thinking of everything i want to do with my pretty girl once we get back to the hotel." leah smirked, kissing you again though this time a little less sweet as she slipped her tongue in, licking the roof of your mouth as your breath hitched.

"laura do not leave me behind! you are being a bad friend!" you recognised the dutch accent as you broke apart at that, leah sighing as vic, laura, teyah and kyra appeared a few metres away.

"aw sorry did we interrupt your smooch sesh?" kyra cooed making kissy faces as teyah joined in and both you and leah rolled your eyes. "well romance is dead now." the blonde mumbled with a huff as you kissed away the fast forming pout.

"maybe, but whatever you were thinking about doing in that hotel room is still very on the table when we get back baby."

[wlntrsldler]

Hiiiiii!!!! I love Apple Pie by Lizzy McAlpine!! Can I get Jamie Tartt to apple pie?

apple pie | jamie tartt

based on the song apple pie by lizzy mcalpine

description: jamie gets insecure sometimes, but having you with him helps.

pairing: jamie tartt x actress!reader (f!reader she/her)

warnings: lots of kissing, self-doubt, insecurities, mention of jamie's dad

word count: 2631

ted lasso requests are open | main masterlist

When Jamie first got into a relationship with you, he knew that both of your busy schedules would pose a problem down the road. With his football career seemingly reaching new peaks every season and your acting career taking off after being cast in what is being called “the film that revived the dying genre of romantic comedies,” the amount of time you get to spend with each other decreased significantly since the start of your relationship. 

You first met Jamie halfway through his returning season at AFC Richmond. You met him at a birthday dinner party for a friend of a friend where you relentlessly teased him for his ridiculous, but outstanding performance, on Lust Conquers All. You had originally praised him for it when you were fully under the impression that he was putting on an act. You didn’t find out that he was just being his prick-ish self, albeit his younger prick-ish self, until about four months into your relationship when he embarrassedly admitted it to you. That’s how you found yourself rewatching the entire season together on his couch until 2 hours before Roy knocked on his door for his training session. 

At first, Jamie thought you were making fun of him. His insecurities would still peek in here and there and sometimes he couldn’t help but worry that you’d see him as nothing more than a dumb footballer like everyone else does. He quickly realized, though, that while you were losing your mind laughing at how he acted in the show, making fun of him was the last thing you wanted to do. 

“Why’d ya wanna watch this shit anyways?” he grumbled, trying not to let his emotions get the better of him. “It’s just poopy. ‘M not even like that anymore.” 

“I know,” you sat up, pausing the show when you heard his voice crack. You knew the tone of Jamie’s voice when he was cracking jokes and when he was happy, and this voice wasn’t one or the other. You turned your body to face him, “I know you aren’t like this anymore, I just thought it would be funny.” 

“I dunno, I suppose it doesn’t make much sense to me.” 

“What doesn’t?” you questioned. “Why I want to watch it?” 

“Yeah,” Jamie replied. His eyes were looking at everything but at you. He was playing with the threads of the blanket loosely draped over his legs. He rubbed his nose with his balled-up fist. “Why does it matter how I was before you? I’m better now, yeah? Unless you don’t think so...” 

“Oh, love,” you grabbed his face, forcing him to look at you. You were so engrossed in the episode on the TV that you didn’t realize how uncomfortable Jamie was feeling about the whole situation. “I’m sorry, I should’ve been paying more attention to how you were feeling about this. We can stop watching it.” 

“Yeah, I’d like that.” He hummed, tugging on your hoodie to pull you closer to him. “I just don’t want you to see how I used to be and realize you don’t want to be with a prick like that, even if I have changed, you know? I don’t know… I just thought that with ya, I’d have a fresh start.” 

“Jamie Tartt, enough of that now,” You took over being the big spoon, which made Jamie nuzzle into your neck contently, “You have changed. You’re an amazing man and the best boyfriend I’ve ever had. I only wanted to watch this show because it’s such a shitty show that it’s nice to just unwind. When I watch this Jamie on the screen, my brain can’t even comprehend that it’s you.” 

“You don’t think I’m a prick anymore, yeah?” Jamie asked again, hoping that he’d get a confirmation, “Like you wouldn’t leave me over that?”

You’ve learned over the past few months things about Jamie– one of which is that he needs to be told positive things or else he’d spiral. The thing is, if you could go into his mind and turn off that control box that spews self-doubt and insecurities to him, you would do it in a heartbeat. But since you can’t, you were more than happy to shower him with love and adoration in hopes that your voice can drown the rest of them out. 

“Never,” you placed your lips on his in a soft kiss. “You’d have to work a hell of a lot harder to get rid of me.” 

“I’m working double overtime just so you’d keep me, love,” he murmured, pulling you in for another kiss. His hand reached for the remote to turn the TV off to leave you both in the glow of the floor lamp in his living room. 

“You don’t have to work hard for that.” 

Jamie had gotten used to having you around his flat. He would leave for 4 AM training with Roy with you on his bed, often naked, then return at around 6:30 AM to shower and join you back in bed for another hour before you woke up. He’d wake up for the second time that day with you drawing patterns on his chest and a soft smile on your face. He’d lean over and place a loving kiss on your lips and he’d feel prepared to start the day. 

You were filming a show in London for three months, which meant that for three months, this was Jamie’s life. In between projects, you stayed at his place. For two weeks after the wrap party, you came home to him, visited him at the facility, and went to all the team outings, home games, and away games with him. He was with you 24/7 and he wouldn’t have it any other way. He didn’t realize how he took it for granted until filming ended.

Three weeks ago, you flew to New York City to begin filming another movie. With training and games, Jamie hasn’t been able to take time off to visit you, and with filming just starting, you couldn’t fly back to Richmond either. 

Jamie was doing fine– as fine as someone can be when their daily routine was abruptly disrupted. He was proud of you. The premise of the movie seemed perfect for you and was a seamless continuation of the romantic comedy trend you were on. People were buzzing for your next project, especially after your last one was so well received. He was so proud of you…. But he also missed you. 

During the three weeks that you were gone, you and Jamie still texted each other constantly and FaceTimed everyday, despite the crazy time difference. He wanted to make it work, and so did you, so you did what you could to stay in touch. While not being able to hold you and kiss you for three weeks was killing Jamie, he was glad he was still able to spend time with you. Things didn’t get to Jamie until Jan Maas made an off-handed comment about it.

All of them were packing up after training, feeling extremely antsy with the Man City match on the horizon, Jamie especially. There were a lot of things on his mind, including the possibility of seeing his father, who he hadn’t seen since Wembley, and playing against his old team was always a trip. In short, he wasn’t feeling his best and the fact that you weren’t nearby made it worse. 

“Jamie, we have not seen Y/N in a while,” Sam noted, “Is everything okay with you two?” 

“She’s filming a movie in New York, bruv,” Isaac replied before Jamie could speak, “Right, Tartt?” 

Jamie nodded, putting his shirt over his head, “Yeah. She’ll be gone for a few months, at least.” 

“I do not know how you’re gonna survive, Jamie,” Jan Maas said. “You are so clingy when it comes to her. I don’t think you can make it all those months.” 

The rest of the team chuckled at Jan’s teasing tone, but Jamie furrowed his eyebrows in thought. Was he clingy? He frowned as he continued to put his things away. He picked up his phone from his cubby, smiling when he received a few messages from you while he was at training. As he was about to respond, Jan’s comment made him stop in his tracks. 

Maybe it would be best to let you have a night to yourself. You had a life outside of him and you deserve to be able to live it without having him cling to you all the time. He rubbed his eyes tiredly, slipping his phone in his back pocket, before walking out of the locker room to head to his place. 

When you woke up to no text from Jamie, you assumed that he was just worn out from training and didn’t have the energy to reply. You’ve seen the intense training he went through, so you wouldn’t be surprised if that was the case. But as the day went on and there was still no word from Jamie– you’d even checked the timezone clock on your phone to make sure you weren’t being unreasonable– you began to worry. FaceTime calls went unanswered and instead, you were met with the Apple automated response, “Sorry, can’t talk right now.” 

To: lover boy <3

“Hi, love. Got some exciting news, you free to chat? Xx” 

By the time you were boarding the plane to Manchester, Jamie still hadn’t texted you back. After begging the producers to give you a week off filming, they finally agreed. You asked for this week in particular, knowing that you wanted to be there for Jamie for the Man City match. There was a lot on the line for Jamie and you wanted to be there for him no matter what happened. 

The entire plane ride back to England was filled with dread and anxiety. It wasn’t like Jamie to not respond. Unless he was at a game, training, or sleeping, but even then he had a special ringtone for you that wakes him up whenever you called, he always replied to your messages as soon as possible. When you landed, everything that could go wrong went wrong. Your plane was stuck on the tarmac for an hour because there were problems with the gate. Your luggage got delayed which left you sitting at baggage claim for another 45 minutes. When you finally arrived at the hotel the team was staying at– shoutout to Ted for being yours and Jamie’s number one supporter and telling you where they were staying– Jamie was nowhere to be found. 

You dragged your luggage to Jamie’s room, plopping on the bed tiredly. You glanced at the digital clock on the nightstand. 9:28 PM. Ted mentioned that there was a 10 PM curfew so you hoped that tonight was not one of the nights where Jamie decided to break the rules. Ted also mentioned that Jamie has not been himself lately, which did nothing to soothe your panic. You hopped in the shower to rinse yourself from the long day you’ve had. You did your night routine and dug into Jamie’s bag to retrieve his AFC Richmond hoodie. Before putting it on, you held it up to your nose, sighing as your senses were filled with Jamie. You missed him. 

It was 9:57 PM when you heard the door unlock. You were on his bed, scrolling aimlessly on social media, when you saw him. You sat up, shutting your phone off. He walked in with his head low. His shoulders were hunched over a bit, but he looked okay. He looked better than how Ted described him. 

He kicked off his shoes, before looking at you on his bed, startled. His eyes widened, first in fear that there was someone in his room, then in surprise that it was you in his room. His lips curved down in a frown, eyebrows furrowed in sadness. 

“Baby,” you whispered, moving to the side of the bed to make room for him. 

Jamie knew that he needed to not be clingy. He didn’t want to bother you too much. He was trying to be cool. But when you called him “baby,” with that voice, in his hoodie on his bed, his resolve crumbled to pieces.

He ran to you, nearly tackling you off the bed when he engulfed you in his arms. He buried his face in your neck, a mix of your lotion and the cologne he sprays on his clothes surrounding him. You cradled the back of his head, mumbling how much you missed him into his shoulder. Jamie could cry. He hasn’t seen you in so long, but here you are now. 

“What are you doing here?” He asked when he finally pulled away from you. He couldn’t stray too far though. His arm was still wrapped around you while you cuddled into his side. “I thought you were in New York.” 

“Well, if you bothered to answer my texts,” you trailed off, faking a voice of sadness. You poked his side, “You would’ve seen that I had exciting news. The producers gave me a week off after begging them since I first got to New York and this week is perfect because I know tomorrow’s match is gonna be a lot for you. I wanted to be here for you, whatever the outcome is.” 

“Oh.” Jamie was speechless. Here he was ignoring you like a prick while you were planning to come back just to be here for him. He didn’t deserve you. 

“Yeah,” you continued, “If tomorrow we celebrate, I’ll be here making sure that you drink enough water so that your hangover the next day won’t be too much. If tomorrow we try to never think about it again, I’ll sit next to you on the bus in silence holding your hand and when we get home we can do the same thing.” 

Home. You were here and he felt like he was home. 

“I missed you so much,” Jamie sighed. He kissed you all over your face, giving your lips extra attention. “‘M sorry if I was bothering you by texting and calling so much over the last few weeks… I just missed you loads and I wanted to talk to you.” 

“Baby, you didn’t text and call me enough,” you played with his hair, running your fingers through the strands. “If it was possible, I would stay on a call with you all day, everyday. Can’t get enough of ya.” 

He smiled, his worries disappearing with every word you said, “Yeah?”

“Oh yeah, I love you, Jamie Tartt.” You kissed him deeply. “Couldn’t get tired of you even after a million years. Now, catch me up! Tell me everything.” 

Jamie, feeling like himself again, began to tell you everything you missed over the last few weeks– meeting Sam’s father, meeting Ted’s mum, Roy and Keeley, and seeing his mum earlier that night, which is why he came home late. He talked about how a visit to Georgie and Simon helped lift his spirits, and how Georgie was gushing about you and asking him when you’ll come to visit again. 

Then he talked about his fears for tomorrow and everything that’s been piling up on him ever since you left. As he spoke, you rubbed his back comfortingly, a small reminder that you’ll always be here no matter what. 

Jamie knew that he still had a lot of work to do. He knew that his insecurities could get the best of him sometimes and it can cause him to push back on people who love and care about him, but he was trying. You believed in him and that’s all he needed.

[zan0tix]

May I just say I really really appreciate your approach to and respect for the transfemininity embedded in Homestuck. Like the fact that you depict Jake as a kind of "genderfuck" (for lack of a better word) character without trying to divorce that from transfemininity as so many others do, as well as being able to depict Roxy with certain clocky characteristics without disregarding her femininity or making it feel fetish-y, is all really admirable in my eyes. It gets extremely frustrating seeing large swathes of the fandom constantly trying to separate the story of Homestuck from transfemininity despite it having a transfem enby author, so I really appreciate that you don't shy away from it in your art :)

I am so glad!!!!! Its something ive Always noticed in like every fandom since i first got onto the internet the disparity between the amount of transfems i knew vs how often their story got to be uplifted in fandom spaces or get to be celebrated how transmascs did considering how queer dominated they are but then i grew up and realised how badly male centric queer spaces are too😭

Homestuck is one of the spaces that has a big amount of transfems openly engaging in fandom activities and that makes me really happy to see! since i often see gross rhetoric from transmascs or cis women about fandom spaces abt “who is allowed” and “fandom being a safe space” cough blatant transmisogyny (sobs everywhere its so bad)

I DONT UNDERSTAND HOW PPL BRUSH PAST HUSSIE BEING TRANS SO OFTEN ISNT THAT INSANE. To me it reframes homestuck how the creators of the matrix being trans does. Like I dunno maybe that informed the works presentation of gender somehow. Maybe all the commentary and critique and displays of frustration at the contradictory nature of gender but especially trying to fit “being a man” in society came from somewhere when they were writing it 🤔🤔🤔 hussie said it herself that alot of homestuck was just stream of consciousness. Everything that comes out of daves mouth near the end seemed very plausible to be a reflection of hussies own journey realising that Actually these boundaries of what defines A Good Man and A Good Woman are ridiculous and no person can possibly live up to that no matter what were told from birth.

But i try my best to reflect the innate transfemininity of homestuck and the majority of its cast, its something integral to the works themes and just the community who built it! It saddens me how skittish other transmascs are about engaging with or portraying the transfeminine stories when its just. Practically textual. And all you need to do is Listen and empathise. I love learning how other feminine people see themselves in this story like how often do you get such a menagerie of in depth fem characters. And i love seeing what the experiences transfems see echoed in homestuck are because its all such insightful stuff About femininity and its beauty and its ills all at once. Roxy..kanaya.. wipes tear from my eye.

I want to actively include and celebrate transfem features and bodies as much as transmasc ones get to be around here and i am glad my jake and roxy do feel that way 🥹🥹 my aim with my designs is to make them feel like some everyday people youd see, no fetishisation/sexualisation or demonisation, just Existing and appreciating. Because i know how much it can mean to see yourself in something and for that to be treated with care and kindness. Its why i create in the first place! Because of how others creations gave me that comfort when i couldnt find it elsewhere

I feel similarly about how people portray fat women or just like. Women in general. its sad how badly the whole sexualisation = acceptance warps how people portray things fatness or transfem features. Never ever saying these things arent hot or sexy or to be appreciated. Duh. I think how i portray jake says enough abt what i think of that LOL just that It feels like its the only way people try and show theyre accepting? Which just feels so gross and dehumanising the only way they think to display they feel empathy is through saying “Yeah i can get off to people like you”😭

Rlly bad in society in general so also in the homestuck space. Worlds hardest challenge is liking the alpha kids. Im so sorry for what they do to you jane and roxy🥲🥲🥲 Its baffling because Homestuck is Prime Example Numero Uno of how to humanise characters. Just display them being people; their thoughts, their feelings, their insecurities, their passions, their woes, their loves, their losses. So much can be communicated through how a character speaks with their friends.

I wana do that for jake and roxy! They get to be dimensional too! I like showing their laughs and their sorrows, just them Existing with the people around them. They get to be a part of the lighthearted comedy just as the rest of them do. They get to be a part of all the gender and sexuality insanity going on in their friend group, can point out their flaws and mistakes and insecurities. I dunno its rlly not that hard to just empathise with them and want to tell their stories.

I am so invested in the raw unabashed Humanity of homestuck. Its just one person pouring their brain contents into this huge thing and it displays the best and the worst and the absurdity and the questions. Its so interesting and hussies transness IS JUST BAKED INTO IT. Thus the characters contain that too and it kinda stinks of transmisogyny to throw that out!

YAPPING TOO MUCH OMG but i rlly appreciate this ask🫶🫶🫶makes me so happy to hear

[beanghostprincess]

Silly vampire buggy being so very normal about it while the rest are absolutely FERAL is so funny.

Buggy, before Roger passed, still on the Oro: hmm, I'm kinda thirsty-

Shanks, ripping his already open shirt further off: Oh Dear, Oh My Look At ALL THIS So Very BITEABLE SKIN, Sure Hope There's No VAMPIRES Thirsting Near Me, Wink Wink!!!!

Buggy: I bet Gabban still has some juice boxes. I hope he has that guava one. I'll be right back!

Shanks, half naked and drooping: 🥺😟😥😫

<><><><><><><><><>

Mihawk: I read this interesting novel yesterday which gave me much to ponder.

Buggy: oh? Awesome! Which was it?

Mihawk, side-eying Buggy pointedly: it was a supernatural romance between a human and vampire. It was rather explicit and had many scenes which piqued my interest.

Buggy, absolutely Not Getting It: oh man. I usually hate those. It's a toss up between bad writing or the vampire is always a top. Like? Give me gay bottom vampires too, we deserve to be recognized!! Oh, Hawky, can you hand me my sunscreen?

Mihawk: ........... here.

Buggy: thanks, love!

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Crocodile: hey you drink blood.

Buggy, sipping A+ out of a care bear cup: yeah?

Croc: does it work on Logia users? Or would your fangs need Haki to pierce us?

Buggy: hm. Good question? I dunno, actually!

Crocodile: seems this could be a learning experience. Would be a shame to not experiment. I know how much you like your science.

Buggy: I do like science. Yeah. Yeah. You're right! I SHOULD experiment on that!!

Croc, unbuttoning his shirt, tugging down his cravat: uh huh, well, I suppose we ought to get to it- where are you going

Buggy: to my workshop! Science waits for no man!!! Nor clown, in my case. Man clown? Vampire? Who knows. Wait. Am I a man...? Hm, what is the gender today... wait, have I eaten at all? I don't remember. Anyway, I need to grab my suit, I'm low on sunscreen again. Oh, remind me to add that to the next shipment request. Oh, I should also grab a bloody mary!! That sounds great! Okay. Bye bye!!

Croc, halfway undressed, watching Buggy run outside, start swearing bc he didn't pull up his hood and is cursing the light, before tripping flat onto his face: ............. shit.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Buggy rarely pushes the limits of his abilities BECAUSE of the vampirism. If he uses his DF more than usual, it makes him hungrier. And once he hits a certain point, he begins to lose his already loosey-goosey sense of humanity. It scares him to be so cold and uninterested, especially since he always feels things turned up to eleven. When his hits that point, EVERYTHING turns off. At best, he'll be mildly annoyed, angry, amused - but it's like being in a glass bowl, watching things happen from the outside. It terrifies him.

His partners...? Well. It does things to them too, but terror isn't exactly the dominating feeling... 👀

((Also, the romanticism of blood. Of life energy. Of an exchange of that out of love. Of giving parts of yourself to sustain and satiate another. Carrying pieces of someone else in your body to propagate your own life. Of giving and taking consensually the liquid which carries your time. The inherent provocative nature of taking someone else's essence into yourself with full permission and full understanding because they receive so much from you in turn that it is simple, easy, logical to consent to this.))

Vampires 🥰

THE FIRST ONE IS SO REAL EFJKBWEJKBWJEKBF Shanks does that constantly he's DYING for Buggy to bite him and the clown won't even notice he's trying so much. It's ridiculous. Shanks and his failguy moment simping for a vampire that doesn't want his blood.

Mihawk and Crocodile trying to flirt and failing miserably because Buggy is always oblivious to what they do is amazing and no matter the AU it's always like this. I adore. They just want their vampire boyfriend to bite them :(( Failguys.

The last thing you said is so real. Vampires can be something so romantic and I think usually books/TV shows/Media in general don't focus on the important stuff. I want to see teen!Shuggy with Buggy and Shanks traveling together right after the crew disbands (before Roger's death) and Buggy not having access to other types of blood. So Shanks offers him his blood and they have like-- This moment of realization of how intimate it is. And Buggy will forever remember what it felt like to feel Shanks' embrace while sucking his blood without any complaints. And!! Both Mihawk and Crocodile wanting to do the same but it's definitely just for the horny, they don't expect it to be so passionate and intimate, and romantic.

Also, I agree with Buggy, the vampire should be the bottom. Really necessary for this situation.

[lovemyromance]

Azriel, the "entitled incel" of the Bat Boys

So I started laughing my head off as soon as I typed the title for this post. Because it's honestly so, so ridiculous this is even an argument people are using against Elriel.

Let's take a quick trip down memory lane, because people are calling Azriel entitled because of the following excerpt:

This man, is so desperately obsessed with Elain, that he is questioning his religion, their GOD (The Cauldron) on why the woman he loves was given to another. He is tortured over it, losing sleep thinking about it.

How does that scream entitlement? Is it because he says the "third sister was given to another"? Because Rhys assumes "You believe you deserve to be her mate?"

Azriel did not even consider the possibility of a future with Elain because she already has a mate. Not because he's only lusting after her, but because he is convinced that he will not get the woman he loves. He has such low self-esteem and image issues that he doesn't think himself worthy of even touching her skin, and you think he feels entitled to her?

Or is it the fact that you decided he just wants a mate? Nowhere in this bonus chapter does Azriel say he just wants a mate, btw, so not sure where that argument came from. Also, if Azriel just wanted a mate, why tf would he go for the only mated female in his proximity?

Wouldn't he, I dunno, latch onto any available single lady in Velaris over the mated and now forbidden Elain Archeron? I believe a relevant analogy is:

If I had a group of friends I hung out with, all consisting of married couples, basically, and I was the lone single friend. OF COURSE I WANT WHAT THEY HAVE AND OF COURSE I WANT TO BE MARRIED TOO? But....even if I wanted these things so desperately, my first choice for love would not be the married guy in my friend group, whose wife lives far away. Like, no. That's not who I'm going for first, or second, or ever, even.

So then why is Az only showing feelings for Elain? He's had sexual relationships before, why can't he just find someone else, why is he still obsessed with Elain?

Also, the incel thing is such a joke. Yes, he has romantic, sexual thoughts about Elain. And that somehow...makes him disgusting and toxic?

Are we just choosing to ignore Rhys's thoughts about Feyre? How these two mfs nearly risked their lives from a trauma-bargain because they were too horny to show enough self-restraint to not f*ck in the goddamn sky?? Those poor pedestrians of Velaris.

Are we just choosing to ignore Cassian's thoughts about Nesta? Like literally every other sentence from his POV was about her thin frame and massive tits, for ffs. He was absolutely chafing for her 99% of the day. But no one had a problem with that?

Cassian even stated he's jealous of Rhys, what Rhys has with Feyre, their bond. But we just decided to ignore that little tidbit too, huh?

And I know this entire argument is just performative. Because if Azriel had shown any even mildly romantic thoughts about another *ahem* character, that side would be screaming from the rooftops in joy. That's just a guess though, given how much they reacted from just platonic banter and something about sparky glow glow warmth in the bonus chapter. If you give a mouse a cookie, I guess.

Either way, I actually read the books, so Elriel is the only answer for me.

I mean, I thought it was obvious.

[o-sachi]

Dance With Me? - Oneshot (Request)

ᯓ ume tasks sugishita to accompany his little sister to her dance except... they kinda hate each other.... ᯓ character; sugishita kyotaro (wind breaker) ᯓ tags; reader is ume's biological little sis, tsundere sugi, enemies to lovers-ish fluff, sfw, afab reader, no y/n

@pixelcafe-network

It's not news to anyone that Sugishita would do absolutely anything that Ume would ask of him—tending the garden, patrolling the town, hanging out at the cafe. Done, done, and done.

But there was one thing that he—with utmost reluctance—would not do gladly even if the revered Umemiya Hajime told him to.

And that was to interact with Ume's little sister.

You'd think that siblings would at least be similar to each other, but you were nothing like your brother. While the two of you were both outgoing and friendly, Ume was a bit more gentle and easygoing while you were... a bit of a firecracker to say the least.

Ume stood in front of Sugishita. He clasped his hands tightly as he pleaded with the younger man. They were in the middle of gardening so peacefully when he decided to ruin it for them.

"Pretty please? If you can't do it for her then do it for me."

Damn it. Sugishita huffed out. When he put it like that—there was no way he could disappoint his favorite upperclassman. But maybe... if he started suggesting other people, then that should be sort of like helping too... right?

Ume sighed, exhausted from begging. Not to mention, you were already on his ass about this whole situation. The thing is—there was a school dance that everyone at your school was looking forward to. But you had to bring a plus one. Otherwise, people would judge you for not having one. High school works in ridiculous ways.

Initially, Ume already offered to go. But who the hell goes to a high school dance with their brother?

"I can't ask Sakura because he'd explode before he even gets to the dance. She thinks of Nirei as a brother too and Suo intimidates her too much."

"Kaji-san?" Sugishita adds.

"No dice," Ume sighs again, placing his hands on his hips. "She wants to go with someone in the same year as her.

And asking her enemy would be any better? Sugishita felt his heart being gripped and not in a good way. Ume's puppy eyes really had no effect, though Sugishita was starting to feel bad. Maybe one night with you wouldn't be so abysmal.

"...Fine."

"Hooray!" Ume almost jumped up for joy as he finally had some good news to bring home to you...

Or not—because you may have thwacked him over the head with a book after he told you that the one and only Sugishita Kyotaro would be accompanying to the most important event of your high school life.

But there was nothing else to do as both of you stood outside of your school. Ume had just dropped you off after what was the most awkward car ride ever. Your brother talked the whole time—hyping up the both of you while neither of you even talked.

"So..."

"So what?"

Sugishita clicked his tongue. You haven't even exchanged more than 5 words tonight and you were already showing attitude. "Aren't we gonna go inside?"

"I dunno, do YOU even wanna go inside? 'Cuz I don't."

"But Umemiya-san told me this was important to you."

Your crossed your arms and looked off to the side, embarrassed to be put into this situation. "Well, it is... but now I don't care anymore."

What a brat, he thought. But as annoying as you were right now—Sugishita had promised Ume that he'd make sure you would have fun. The longer the arrangement simmered in his mind, the stronger his resolve became to stay true to that promise.

Never mind that you two were oil and water. If he had something to prove to Ume, then maybe the same could be said for you. Sugishita wanted to shut you up after all.

"C'mon," he insists, grabbing your hand and dragging you into the building.

"Hey—what the f—wait!" Though your tried to resist, his grip was too strong. He was hellbent on getting you inside and showing you that your brattiness was making you miss out.

Your resistance was futile as you found yourself in the event hall where the reception was asking for your ticket. You begrudgingly held it in your fist before Sugishita swiped it.

"Here. Two tickets."

The attendant examined the small pieces of paper. Then, the two of you were finally at the dance. The lights were dimmed and upbeat music played while people danced. A sigh of relief escapes you, thankful that it wasn't a slow dance yet.

As the newcomers, eyes were on you. Of course, people were curious who this tall and scary guy was and how he knew you. The guys were sizing him up while the other girls were whispering among themselves.

You noticed this all, but your "date" was seemingly oblivious to it all.

"Aren't you gonna go and dance with your friends?"

"What about you?"

"What about me? When did YOU care about ME?" he asked, emphasizing the two words that never got along well.

Crossing your arms, you looked around the place. You looked forward to this event for weeks—maybe even months. But here you were, sulking. But why? You came in a nice dress with a date who doesn't look too shabby. Did you really hate him in the first place or...

"My friends are just gonna ask me about you and I don't want to explain all of that."

Sugishita scoffs. "Just tell them we're friends. No need to go on a whole rant about how you hate me."

That catches your attention and you crane your head to look up at him. "Okay, first of all, you're the one who hates me. Not the other way around."

"And when did I say that?"

"Well, you—" pause. "I just—" another pause. "You just seem to dislike my presence. I can tell. I'm not stupid."

He grumbles, letting his arms fall to the side. It completely slipped your mind how much he was talking today.

"You're annoying and you bother me a lot but I don't hate you," he admits. And somehow that sincere concession has your heart beating a little faster than normal.

"Well whatever. I don't ca—"

"Do you hate me?"

The question catches you off-guard. That's the million dollar question. "No... I guess not. You're just not the most receptive to my actions so I think you're weird. Like something's wrong with you."

"Maybe if you respected my boundaries and didn't annoy me all the time. Maybe I'd like you."

The air stills. Momentum kept building up and that's what he blamed for the last few words he spoke. Then again, "liking" someone doesn't have to be taken in a romantic context. It would be your fault if you misunderstood.

With all your bickering, you were late to notice that the song had slowed. People had calmed down and gone in pairs. Hands were attached to waists and eyes were peering into each other. It was starting.

Sugishita took a few steps forward before turning to look back at you. He held his hand out. "Dance with me?"

You stared at him, dumbfounded. Was this guy so devoted to your brother that he'd throw all his dignity away as soon as he asks him to dance with his little sister? It was both impressive and ridiculous at the same time.

"What about your boundaries?"

He shook his head, shoving his hand in his pocket instead. "Fine, be the loser that stays in the sidelines."

This was nothing like the Sugishita that you know. He wasn't acting right that it was almost concerning. But... maybe you were both crazy because as soon as he turned his back to you—you were chasing after him.

Linking your arm with his, you tugged at him a bit. "You're the loser. Not me."

A sly smirk crosses his face. "Let's see if you manage not to step on my foot then, Loser."

o-sachi © 2024 pls do not translate/copy/reupload my work on other platforms.

[schrijverr]

Works Alone

When trying to pull the team together, Bruce’s ideas are dismissed, because he works alone. He goes home to his kids to pout about it.

On AO3.

Ships: none

Warnings: none

~~~~

Bruce isn’t pouting. He isn’t! He’s not even a little bit miffed, because he doesn’t want the Justice League to succeed anyway. He doesn’t trust them, hell, he’s not even a full time member, he’s only playing along to keep the others in check. So why would he care?

However, attempting to convince himself doesn’t mean it is working or not clear on his face. The second he steps into the Cave, Dick comments: “Someone is pouty. Did anything happen with your new friends, B?”

He sounds a little too jovial about the whole thing for Bruce’s taste, because despite what he’s telling himself, he is pouty.

“Ridiculous. Father would never stoop so low as to pout,” Damian sticks up for him.

Damian had been sparring with Dick when Bruce arrived, but is now taking a break to drink some water. Seeing the two of them work together makes Bruce both feel better and more prissy, so he just grunts.

“He’s totally pouty,” Jason crows, from where he’d been ruffling through Bruce’s equipment. He would gladly give Jason all the stuff he needs, but Jason insists on stealing it, even if he’s stealing it in plain sight, which is more closely to just taking it.

“Take it back,” Damian frowns.

“Nah,” Jason says. “You know how he gets when y’all don’t come by enough. I mean, you shoulda seen him when Dickface first moved out. Man’s a pouter, I dunno what to tell ya.”

“What’s B pouting about now?” Steph asks, falling into the conversation since she’s only just arrived to start getting ready for patrol tonight.

“We don’t know yet, he’s still denying he’s pouting,” Tim calls out, not having looked up from where he’s working on the Batcomputer all throughout. “Though it’s likely something with the League, since he just got back from giving back up.”

Heads turn his way and Dick concernedly frowns: “Are you okay? Did they do something?”

There is a dark, yet gleeful glimmer in Damian’s eyes as he asks: “Do we need to go out there and vanquish these super powered morons, father?”

“No,” Bruce sighs, still a little miffed, though his mood has definitely been improved by his kid’s banter, as well as their worry for him.

“Then what happened, old man?” Jason demands. “Stop that vague bullshit you always do.”

“Oehhh, Jason swore!” Steph immediately chimes in. “I’m telling Alfred.”

“Don’t you fuckin’ dare,” Jason whips around to her, pointing his knife at her.

“Knock it off, I wanna hear why B is being pouty,” Tim interrupts them.

“Yes, cease this chatter,” Damian adds, a rare show of agreement with Tim. They’ve all been growing, Bruce thinks proudly.

“So what happened then?” Steph asks, rolling her eyes, though stopping her fight with Jason.

Jason luckily also lets it go for now, so Bruce can answer: “They aren’t working as a team. It’s just a group of skilled individuals now and it’s becoming a problem.”

“You’ve been observing that for a while, B. Why suddenly the long face about it?” Dick asks.

And now the embarrassing part, Bruce thinks as he admits: “John is trying to do something about it now. I offered my help, but he refused, stating that I don’t know how, since I work alone, while he has been in the army.”

It’s quiet for a moment. Then, the whole group bursts out in laughter.

“What?” Jason wheezes, while Dick cackles: “He actually said that? Are you for real? Oh my god.”

“I’m going to loose my shit,” Steph snorts, Tim chuckling in the background.

Even Damian is looking amused, although also slightly judgmental. He disdainfully comments: “They are not very bright and must lack observational skills, father. Are you certain you wish to proceed in sponsoring them?”

“Yes,” Bruce sighs again. He’d already had that conversation with himself. Many times. “There is a lot of potential there too. Which is what makes them dangerous. However, out there is dangerous too. They can protect like an army can. Like we can’t.”

“Tt, we can take on extraterrestrial threats and some villains,” Damian huffs, obviously displeased. Out of all his siblings, he’s been the most vocally against the Justice League.

“The brat has a point,” Jason surprises him by backing him up. “I mean, between us here and those still on the streets or running late, you basically have your own little army right here. Just recruit Wonder Woman and I’m sure we’d have a chance.”

“You just wanna work with Wonder Woman, don’t you?” Dick says, sounding a little smug as he slides up behind Jason to make a kissy face at him.

Jason just pushes his face away as he blushes and exclaims: “Shaddup, Dickhead.”

“Yeah, shut up! That’s the most sensible thing he’s said all his life,” Steph hollers.

“Kids, kids, calm down. We’re not disbanding the Justice League and adopting Wonder Woman,” Bruce interrupts, wondering how his life ends up with him saying sentences that he never thought he would be saying.

“I never said nothin’ ‘bout adopting her,” Jason scowls.

“Cuz you want to kiss her!” Dick sing-songs.

“Isn’t she like a few thousand years old or something?” Tim asks.

“Also not marrying Wonder Woman. Any of you,” Bruce says. “Why don’t we all just stay away from Wonder Woman. And the rest of the Justice League, which will continue to exist and not fall apart because they struggle at teamwork. Maybe John’s idea will work. It’s too early to say.”

All of them are giving him a judgmental look now and Bruce struggles to not react to it. It’s always harder when he agrees with them.

“But Green Lantern’s plan is hinging on esprit de corpse,” Tim says. “And that will never work, because it’s a military mentality and while you’ve been working together, there is no real interdependence outside a few emergencies.”

“Yeah, what Timmy said,” Dick agrees, gesturing towards Tim.

“I loathe to admit it, father, but Drake has a point,” Damian nods and that truly shows that it is a hopeless mission for John.

“We’ll just have to see,” Bruce says, deciding to end the conversation there. “Now get ready for pre-patrol brief. We have a few open cases to assign. Cass and Harper will soon be reporting from their early rounds, so get suited up.”

There are a few groans around him, but his kids grant him the mercy of dropping it. They probably know as he does that this won’t be the last time they discuss it.

Indeed a few days later, Bruce comes walking into the Cave again, trying not to let the thunder cloud above his head show too much. However, he knows his kids notice, some sending him a raised brow or an inquiring look. Bruce is glad that he’s come far enough as a parent that not even Dick or Jason are put off by his bad mood.

Dick is also the one to tentatively ask: “Not a good training session with the Justice League?”

“John has us running drills,” Bruce grunts. “It’s showing us each other’s moves and how to play into each other, but…”

“It’s not turning you into a team?” Dick suggest.

“Yeah,” Bruce says, sighing.

“Esprit de corpse,” Tim sing-songs, walking by with a steaming mug of coffee that he went upstairs to refill, ready to start working on the case he’s in the middle of.

Bruce ignores Tim, knowing he’s right, and pulls the cowl off to card a hand through his hair. “We don’t need to run drills, but we need to do trust exercises, talk with each other, get to know each other better, be- be-”

He doesn’t know how he wants to end that sentence, but Cass does, materializing out of the darkness in her sweats, she says one word: “Family.”

“I thought you didn’t like the Justice League,” Duke asks. Luke is covering his day shift today since the last few days have been busy for Duke, but as a true Bat, he doesn’t really know what taking a break means, so he’s in the Cave training.

“Hn,” Bruce replies, thinking. “I mean, I do like them, I just-”

“He doesn’t trust ‘em,” Jason says. He wasn’t supposed to be at the Cave, but it’s clear why he’s there when Bruce looks his way in surprise. He’s holding a box of files, likely stuff he needs for his organization, Bruce wouldn’t know. They’re at a point where Jason doesn’t kill and Bruce doesn’t ask.

“What? Why?” Duke asks. “You fund them and go on missions with them. Even share intell and use them as backup, despite the fact that there are metas and aliens among them. Why do that if you don’t trust them?”

“’Cause he’s also paranoid,” Jason answers for him. “He’s monitoring ‘em.”

“But also befriending them,” Dick says, defending Bruce. “He just needs to vet them closely first, before he does that.”

“Right, ‘cause he’s paranoid,” Jason says.

Duke looks at Bruce, who sighs: “They’re not wrong. The Justice League has a lot of potential to do good and they’re showing they want to be that goodness. But they also have the potential of mass destruction. We need to be sure they won’t be a threat and that we have the right contingencies, before we let them in.”

“Like I said, paranoid,” Jason repeats.

“But trying,” Dick adds.

“And is stepping in to help them get better teamwork going to backfire?” Duke wonders. “Like are we scared we’re going to teach them how to destroy everything as a team? Is that it?”

“No,” Bruce answers, before the peanut gallery consisting of Dick and Jason can. “I offered help to John, he didn’t want it. I don’t think they’re willing to listen to my opinion on it, since I work alone, so have no expertise.”

Duke snorts loudly at that, then suddenly says: “Wait, you’re serious?”

Bruce grunts as conformation.

“Why?” Duke asks.

“Paranoid,” Jason says, rolling his eyes, before hoisting his box up again, before walking off.

Meanwhile, Bruce actually explains: “I haven’t mentioned you, like I said I would. It’s best if they don’t know we’re connected, nor that Gotham hosts more heroes. Connections like we have could be exploited by them and Superman can do a lot more damage should he so choose than Killer Croc or Bane.”

“But they’re good guys, right?”

“For now,” Dick answers morosely. “I’m not saying I agree with B’s paranoia, I mean, I was doing team ups before him and it worked out fine for me without the layers of paranoid he has. But a lot of things can go wrong, especially when working with people that powerful. I also maintained a semblance of mystique just to be safe.”

“But you can try to tell them this isn’t working, right? They must see that it’s not,” Duke says.

“From what I’ve seen both Hawkgirl and Wonder Woman are warriors like John, so they think the same about this. Superman and Flash are office workers, they’d think of horrid team-building days. While J’onn is used to working together with people who can read minds,” Bruce answers. “Out of all of them, only J’onn might listen.”

Cass nudges him and signs: ‘You are not saying something. There is hiding in your shoulders and a bit of guilt in your jaw.’

“What are you hiding, B,” Dick prods, a little bit of genuine judgment and worry coming through the tease.

“It’s a risk to tell them,” Bruce answers sulkily, knowing it’s a little silly, but unable to stop his brain from providing pop-ups of all the ways it could backfire.

“B,” Dick whines, throwing himself to hang over him. “You can at least try.”

“I will, I will,” Bruce says, placating yet also meaning it. He wants to do right by his kids and they want him to have friends, most of them encouraging him with the Justice League.

And, he does. Tentatively he suggest doing some trust exercises among the drills they’ve been running. As expected he gets weird looks and even a scoff from Wally and a frown from Clark. But he manages to play into John’s ideas brotherhood, which means the others are forced to give it a try.

It’s not perfect, of course it isn’t. They still have to deal with the fact that they never agreed on a strategists or a leader of sorts. They still have to build an organization, a system, a proper way of working as a unit.

However, they are getting somewhere. Some prodding here and there helps and the more it helps, the more others prod.

Though it’s not until years later, when Damian is nearly outgrowing the Robin mantle, that Bruce finally allows them to meet his kids. To let them in on the inner workings of Gotham vigilantism.

Then John will point at him and exclaim: “You son of a bitch, you lied to me! You let me struggle on my own to pull these idiots together.”

And at that point, Bruce will be comfortable enough to ignore everyone’s protests and smirk: “I offered you to help, didn’t I? Too bad I work alone.” Making his kids – though they’re adults at that point – laugh like the day they first heard.

~~

A/N:

I think the League thinking Batman works alone is hilarious, especially if they establish later than the batfam

[artdcnaldson]

Consider: you're a close friend of Tashi's from stanford and you'd drifted apart after the injury. You vaguely recognize Patrick at a bar and decide to go home with him despite not... Really remembering where you knew him from. This becomes a semi regular hookup. Until...

You get pregnant. You try calling him but it's not like he picks up. And you'll be damned if you beg for help from any man, especially Patrick fucking Zweig. So ... Maybe it's a bit spiteful. You could've included that important detail in any of your voicemails.

You have a girl. Victoria. (Ricky for short. Yeah it's corny but hey. You're a single mom. You get the right to feel however you want about the situation.) You try not to be bitter - even when you start seeing news that the three of them are together again and you're... SOL.

There's a kids tennis day camp nearby. Shed seemed interested and it gave you some free time. Ricky's 6 now, just a couple years younger than Lily. You show up to pick her up, all sunglasses and tight ponytail and cool ease when you see a girl with the same eyes as your college best friend clinging to your baby girls hand with two men walking behind a bit awkwardly.

What were you going to say now?

This actually makes me insane like hbngngnggg also changed the daughter’s name one fraction ok i think it makes sense tho

Patrick was getting too attached— 24 years old, in his prime, and he didn’t want to tie himself down to someone. He stopped picking up your calls and fucked his way through the eastern seaboard— far away from you so he could get you out of his mind.

A little over a month after he started ignoring you, he got a text.

hey. can you call me?

And he was mean. He knew it was mean, because he saw the message come in and he felt a fondness. And he wasn’t sure if he missed your pussy, or if he missed you. He knew he longed for conversations with you, the way you’d mindlessly trace whorls over his back and talk about the day, ask about things he liked, his childhood, fond memories, tell him some of your own. It came too easy, the most natural thing he’d felt since Art, since Tashi, so he got out. He stayed out.

who is this lol

You don’t text back. He doesn’t see you again for seven years, but you don’t stop seeing him. Partially, you see him in your daughter, in her personality, in her eyes, in her crooked smile, in her ears. It always struck you as funny, the way genetics picks and chooses things like that.

It wasn’t just her— it was your incessant need to know about him. You kept up with his ranking, watched a few of his matches after Ricky goes to sleep and you have the TV to yourself. It was just like that for a while— his rank would dip, it would rise, but he stayed relatively stagnant.

Until New Rochelle. You watched the match live with Ricky, because she had developed a persistent interest in the sport since she’d learned about it in P.E.. A month prior. After the match, after the insanity of the tie break, when Patrick wins, Ricky asks for you to please put her in lessons.

You start small— a local thing at the YMCA. She takes to it like a duck to water. Fucking genetics, if that was even how it worked. You start working your way up, wind up paying a ridiculous amount of money for a fancy tennis camp just because she loves it so much. You show up a couple minutes late for pick up a few weeks in and Ricky runs up to you with a friend in tow.

“Can Lily go to lunch?”

You crouch down and push your sunglasses atop your head, smiling fondly at your daughter. “I dunno, baby… does Lily want to go to lunch?”

“My dad and Uncle Patrick already said yes,” Lily supplies, gesturing behind her.

And fuck, of fucking course. You stand, sweep invisible dirt off of your legs and look at Patrick Zweig in person for the first time since, what? 2012? He looks good, of fucking course he does. You’d seen him during matches, but normal clothes look good on him. It pisses you off.

“You know you just agreed to Chuck E Cheese, right?” You say in lieu of a greeting, omitting awkward pleasantries with Art and Patrick. Maybe Art at least deserved a hello, congratulations on retirement, on the US Open, but the asshole standing beside him was all you could focus on. “I take Ricky after tennis lessons.”

“You have a kid,” Patrick says, not a question, just a statement of fact. You nod, swallowing down irritation. Your luck was so fucking bad. “And she’s…”

You sigh. “She's turning seven in a few months,” you supply. He swallows, nods, does the math in his head

Chuck E Cheese is hell. You remembered liking it as a kid, having your fifth birthday there and being scared of the animatronics. But they got rid of the animatronics, and made the mascot in question creepy and skinny and all but one skeeball machine is out of order. But you play anyway, leave Art and Patrick at the table as soon as the girls get up.

Patrick finds you, sidles up so close it’s like he has no sense of personal space. “She’s mine?”

You huff in annoyance, flub your roll down the skeeball lane. 0 points. What you want to say is something along the lines of, what the fuck do you think? But you remember where you are, sigh, and try your best to censor yourself. “Yes. Biologically, she's all yours.”

He fucking groans, swears under his breath, paces a bit behind you as you ignore him and keep playing. You toss another skeeball down the lane, then another, and the timer runs out before he speaks again.

“You didn’t think maybe you should tell me anytime in the past seven years?” He finally says, He grabs your arm, his hands warm and big and exactly like you remembered.

“I thought I should,” you reply, as casually as you can as all of the hurt and frustration and resentment rears its ugly head. “But you lost my fucking number within the same week that you ditched the west coast for wherever the fuck you went. I called you— over and over. You were the one that never picked up.”

He huffs in annoyance. “You could’ve left a message. Something. I deserved to know that I had a fucking kid running around.”

Ricky darts by, steals your hard earned skeeball tickets from the machine, and runs off giggling like a maniac. You smile fondly and pocket your game card. You turn to Patrick and let the expression fall back into something cold and stern. “I disagree. And I think it’s best if Ricky doesn’t find out.”

He grabs your arm, pulls you closer. “You fucking named her after me,” he practically growls in your ear. You clench your jaw and look away. “She’s never asked who I am? Never wondered about her dad?”

You pull your arm away and glare. You’re sure you look like two divorced parents trying and failing to play nice for their kids’ sake. It honestly amuses you a bit— you might have laughed about it if you were with anyone else. “One, her name is Veronica, okay? Ricky’s a nickname. Two, yes, of course she wonders. She’s a kid. Kids ask questions. You should know that Uncle Patrick.”

“Shut the fuck up,” he mutters, an annoyed smile twitching at the corner of his lips. “I’m living with Tashi and Art. Tashi’s coaching me this season.”

You laugh wryly and start to walk back towards the table. “I didn’t ask.”

“Yeah, but you want to make bitchy fucking comments, don’t you?”

You roll your eyes and brush past him. “Fuck off, Patrick.”

But you can't deny it. As you sit at the table and watch Patrick get roped into some game hacking scheme by Lily, as Ricky stands to the side and watches with wide, interested eyes, that you feel a twinge of... something.

When Ricky comes back to the table with a large plushie she got from the prize counter and happily says that man helped her win it. When Patrick smiles fondly down at her and steals crusts from Lily's plate. Maybe you don't have to hold him to a seven year grudge. Maybe you could let him back in.

Not for your sake, of course. Clearly that would be a bad idea. A horrible idea.

But for your daughter? Maybe you could just reap the benefits.