#man I'm so obsessed with their dynamic i wasn't expecting it when i watched

[obitoslover]

I think it's also worth mentioning Beast when talking about their dynamic

When Atsushi asked him why did he want to help him so much, there's his answer:

Considering that desire to save Dazai was from before the moment beast Dazai started to change things, it's fair to assume og Mori also thought the same, even if his way wasn't the best (ah the Kouyou & Kyouka parallels...)

After that, Mori basically adopted Atsushi, which I interpret as his way to "compensate" for failing Dazai in the past, given now he's able to actually care for a child without putting him in a traumatizing situation

Beast Mori also said earlier he accepted to work as the orphanage headmaster because he owed Dazai for sparing his life 4 years ago, which could serve as a parallel to what you said about og Dazai feeling he owed Mori for saving his life multiple times even when he planned for Dazai to die and bury the secret with him (and that's an important detail, in my opinion, because Mori DID want Dazai to die, but he never let the kid actually die; maybe he quickly changed his mind when realized Dazai could be useful to him, but for Dazai to only bringing this up a whole year after the old boss' death, I don't think that's completely the case)

Now, talking about the main universe, I have two things I want to highlight:

1. Mori kept Dazai's spot as an executive open

Yes, he definitely does that because Dazai was extremely useful in the organization, but please consider how wild it is. He's basically saying a traitor can go back to the port mafia anytime he wants and would still get all his privileges again.

Oh, and I forget to tell a tiny detail too... Dazai was Mori's right hand man. Even when Dazai wasn't officially in the pm, he was still someone Mori treated as a trustworthy subordinate, and considering Mori said if Dazai was still there the Guild wouldn't be as troublesome as they turned out to be, I think Dazai could be seem as his right hand man even in the dark era, in a way.

And also, when Rimbaud turned out to be a traitor, you know exactly what happened to his belongings (since he was already dead he couldn't be punished), all burned. The only things that survived was the documents about Chuuya and Arahabaki, which Mori kept as executives only's property as a way to make Chuuya more trapped in the pm

2. All of this

Mori expressing melancholy by comparing Dazai to himself, hello?? I blame the anime for not showing this and make Mori too happy in this scene, cuz why is nobody talking about this at all??

As a mafia leader, he needed an assistant, a secretary, a confidant, a right hand man (funny how beast Elise fulfills that role)... but, as a person, what he needed was someone, a subordinate — not an equal, mind you, he could trust to share everything, someone who could understand (highlighted, which means it's somewhat important) him while he was alone as a leader (are you that lonely you think a suicidal teenager could fill that void in your heart?)

"But not all errors are bad" thinks the guy who, even in the main manga, still valued results over intentions. /half-joking

He thinks he's "asking too much" [regarding wanting someone to, basically, bond with] since he followed such a bloody path, which implies even more he does feel guilt, or at the very least, he recognizes the path he chose isn't to be praised for

"But it was Dazai, after all. So, perhaps..." so Mori thinks Dazai can be an exception because he's also fit for darkness, so it wouldn't be a problem to "ask too much", or because he saw himself so much he thought he could be understood by this kid? Or maybe both? Who knows...

The way everyone seems to think about Mori and Dazai’s relationship really annoys me, okay? It’s like… everyone thinks Dazai always hated Mori and I just don’t understand where people got that idea from? Dazai was more indifferent to him at first and there was certainly anger, disappointment, and distrust because Mori never gave him the quick and painless death he promised in return for Dazai’s testimony of his innocence, but there was also respect and attachment. I wouldn’t say affection, not on Dazai’s end, but Mori was the only person he knew and interacted with for a year. They were tied together in this crazy scheme to take over the port mafia, they were partners in crime, even before Dazai officially joined the mafia.

For at least four years Mori was there, taking care of him, keeping him alive. Dazai probably didn’t appreciate that, but still, Mori risked his own life to save Dazai when he tried to blow himself up. He knew he was important to Mori, and I think he felt like he owed him in a very abstract way. He did so much to protect Mori in Storm Bringer. He manipulated Verlaine into killing some of the most important people in the Mafia just to buy Mori more time. He set up an ambush for Verlaine that ended in the mafia loosing a huge chunk of their forces and put his own and Chuuya’s lives in unimaginable danger. All to protect Mori. For four years his life’s purpose was to help and protect Mori. He became exasperated when Mori made his job harder but he still gave it everything he had. Until Oda gave him a new purpose he was completely dedicated to Mori, even if he hid it well. He never resented Mori for that, I don’t think, because he gave him his reason to live, pushed him towards Chuuya, gave him drugs to make him less miserable, let him do whatever he wanted. It wasn’t until Mori became the cause of his misery that Dazai turned against him. For the longest time Mori had brought him something like joy, albeit in very unconventional ways, and he saw it as a betrayal when Mori took away something that made him happy, Odasaku. And because he’s someone with severe emotional dissregulation and probably a mixed cluster b personality disorder with a lot of bpd traits, he went from being incredibly attached to Mori to absolutely despising him and never wanting to see or think about him again.

The animosity he shows towards Mori didn’t build gradually over time due to multiple factors or slights. It came from betrayal, from years of feeling like Mori cared about him suddenly being put into a new perspective after Mori hurt him deeply without any remorse. But he doesn’t hate the mafia or Mori’s methods or what he stands for, in fact he still shares many of Mori’s beliefs and ideologies. He still holds professional respect for Mori, even if he will no longer do anything to protect the man.

[honeyhae-svt]

hiii, I love your works so much and I couldn't help but to read them over and over! so may I please req actor reader x actor jeonghan but if you don't want to do it it's fine it's up to you but if you're going to do it I'm going to thank you very much!, ily🤍

Second Lead, First Choice

Yoon Jeonghan x F!Reader

Genre: smut, actor x actor, second lead x male lead, rivals to lovers(?), fake friends, unrequited love, jealousy, angst, dark romance, modern au, slowburn, toxic relationships, obsession, manipulation, betrayal, power imbalance, nsfw (18+), forbidden romance, possessive behavior, softdom!jeonghan, sub!reader, fluff (?), revenge, and emotional turmoil. (minors are NOT welcome. stay out.) warnings: explicit smut (18+), obsessive behavior, manipulation, mild dub-con, filming without consent (non-public), unhealthy relationships, slowburn tension, power dynamics, jealousy, angst-heavy themes, dark plot twists, possessive behavior, and mentions of betrayal. smut warnings: explicit sexual content, public/semi-public sex, fingering, vaginal penetration, oral fixation (kissing, biting), dom/sub dynamics (soft dom jeonghan, sub reader), overstimulation, multiple orgasms, slight breeding kink implications (mentions of cumming inside), slight cockwarming, mild praise kink ("good girl"), use of dirty talk, mentions of squirting and unproctected sex (wrap that boner !!) preview: You never expected to find yourself locking horns with Yoon Jeonghan, the nation’s beloved leading man. Being cast as the second lead was bad enough, but sharing the screen—and off-camera moments—with him tests every ounce of your patience. Jeonghan is intoxicating, infuriating, and far too good at blurring the lines between acting and reality. His touch lingers longer than it should, his whispers send shivers down your spine, and his smirk hides secrets you’re desperate to uncover. But behind the glamour lies a dark game of power, manipulation, and obsession that threatens to unravel everything you’ve worked for. It was never just about the spotlight—or even revenge. Now, every glance, every word, and every forbidden kiss carries consequences neither of you are ready to face. wc: 7773 a/n: im sorry it took me months to finish ! i hope i make it up to you by this, and please do enjoy. (i write too many stuffs before getting to the real stuffs. sorry not sorry lmao) THANK YOU FOR REQUESTING !

"CUT!" the director's voice boomed across the set, signaling the end of the take. Jeonghan pulled back from the female lead, Hye-soo, his face carefully neutral despite the exhaustion tugging at his features. He tried not to grimace as he stepped away, running a hand through his styled hair. The bright lights, the endless retakes, and the physical closeness—it was all too much for him today.

On the sidelines, you sat perched on a folding chair, clapping your hands softly in a show of support. "Good work!" you called out cheerfully, your voice cutting through the hum of the bustling set. You'd wrapped your own scene hours ago, but instead of heading home to rest, you stayed to watch him.

Jeonghan noticed you immediately. It didn't matter that there were dozens of people milling about—his gaze found yours like a magnet. And for the first time all day, he felt a flicker of relief. If only you were the female lead. If only it were you standing in front of the camera with him, sharing the screen and the story. The thought had crossed his mind far too often, lingering in ways he wasn't sure he could hide anymore.

He walked toward you, his usual easygoing smile faltering at the edges. It was subtle, but you caught it. Even through his perfectly sculpted persona, you could tell he wasn't feeling his best.

"You did well," you said when he reached you, your voice softer now. Your hand lightly brushed against his as you stood, the gesture so casual and natural that no one else might have noticed. But he did.

Jeonghan looked at you, his heart thudding a little harder at the warmth in your expression. You were smiling sweeter than usual—just a tiny shift, but enough to send his thoughts spinning. He knew that look, the way your eyes sparkled when you wanted something.

Without saying a word, he took your hand, holding it for just a second longer than necessary before his lips curved into a faint smirk. "You're too nice to me," he teased lightly, though his voice was quieter than usual.

"You deserve it," you replied simply, squeezing his hand.

Jeonghan tilted his head slightly, leaning just enough so that your faces were closer. His voice dropped lower, almost conspiratorial. "You're the main character of my life," he murmured, the words slipping out before he could stop them.

The confession hung in the air, delicate and fragile, but he didn't give you the chance to respond. Instead, he gently tugged you by the wrist, leading you toward a nearby hallway where the noise of the set faded into the background.

He pushed open the door to an empty dressing room and pulled you inside, your lips quirked into a small grin as you cast a glance over your shoulder. There, just outside the hallway, you caught sight of Hye-soo, her expression a mixture of irritation and disbelief as she watched Jeonghan whisk you away, before he shut the door softly behind you. 

The satisfaction was instant, your grin widening as you turned your attention back to Jeonghan. His eyes searched yours, an unspoken question lingering in their depths.

"Someone's jealous," you whispered, a playful lilt in your tone.

"Let her be," Jeonghan replied, his gaze dropping briefly to where your hand still rested against his arm. "I only care about you."

Jeonghan caught your lips into a deep, deep kiss. His hands finding your waist, kissing you hungrily like he's never before. You gladly let him, kissing back with precision, catching up with his desperate kisses.

Four months ago, the welcoming party was an elaborate spectacle where actors who are casted and crews, glittering lights and clinking glasses, an unspoken contest of charisma and charm playing out in every corner of the opulent ballroom. Jeonghan stood near the director, his expression schooled into polite interest as Hye-soo's melodic laughter rang out beside him. She had been holding court all evening, effortlessly drawing attention to herself, her hand resting possessively on Jeonghan's arm like it was her rightful place.

But Jeonghan barely noticed her.

From the moment you stepped into the room, late enough to make an entrance but not so late as to be rude, his attention was a prisoner to your presence. You hadn't done anything dramatic—there was no sweeping motion or grand gesture. It was simply the way you carried yourself. The flow of your dress, the way it seemed to move with you like an extension of your being. The quiet confidence in your steps, your head held high but your smile understated, as if you knew you didn't need to demand attention; it came to you on its own.

It wasn't just beauty—though you had that in spades. It was something deeper, more magnetic. A natural ease, the kind of charisma that didn't shout for recognition but instead whispered for it, softly and irresistibly.

Jeonghan felt it before he could stop himself—the tightening of his chest, the way his eyes betrayed him by seeking you out even as Hye-soo leaned closer, brushing her arm against his as she spoke. He forced a polite laugh, nodding at whatever she was saying, but his focus was across the room.

And you, as if sensing his gaze, looked up.

Your eyes met his, and for a brief moment, the noise of the ballroom faded into nothingness. You didn't smile right away; you just held his gaze, the faintest quirk of your lips following as though you knew exactly what you were doing to him. It was infuriating, how effortlessly you dismantled his composure with nothing but a look.

Hye-soo's hand on his arm tightened, her laugh becoming just a touch louder as if trying to pull him back. But Jeonghan's thoughts were already elsewhere, his mind circling a question that had been nagging him since the cast list was announced.

Why were you the second lead?

You had everything—beauty that could silence a room, talent that elevated every scene you touched, and a presence so commanding it didn't just complement a story; it shaped it. He'd even asked the director about it once, in a moment of unguarded curiosity.

"She's too perfect," the director had said, a bemused smile on his face. "We needed someone who could challenge stereotypes. Beauty isn't everything, and we're trying to show that. It's about balance, Jeonghan. She's our second lead because she'll redefine what it means to be one."

At the time, Jeonghan had accepted the explanation. It even made sense—logically. But now, watching you glide through the room like you owned it, he couldn't shake the thought that the story needed you at its heart.

As the evening wore on, his fascination deepened. He wasn't the only one who noticed you, of course. By the time he'd taken a sip of his champagne, you were already surrounded. First, a well-known photographer approached, gesturing animatedly as you listened with that soft, knowing smile of yours. Then a manager from a major modeling agency joined the conversation, their posture deferential despite their stature in the industry.

You handled it all with ease, laughing lightly here, tilting your head thoughtfully there, your charisma weaving a web that no one seemed able to resist. Jeonghan felt something strange stir within him—a mixture of pride, admiration, and something heavier, something unfamiliar.

"You should go talk to her," the director said suddenly, his voice breaking through Jeonghan's thoughts.

Jeonghan blinked, glancing at the older man. "What?"

"You've been staring all night," the director said with a chuckle, clapping him on the shoulder. "Might as well make an introduction."

Before Jeonghan could protest, the director was already leading him across the room. Hye-soo followed, her expression tight as she trailed behind, her earlier ease replaced with something sharper.

When they reached you, the director spoke your name warmly, introducing Jeonghan with a familiarity that suggested he'd been waiting for this moment. You turned to face Jeonghan fully, and for the second time that night, his world narrowed to just you.

"It's nice to finally meet you," you said, your voice smooth and melodic, the kind that lingered in the air even after the words had faded.

Jeonghan opened his mouth to respond, but for a brief, embarrassing moment, nothing came out. You smiled at that, a real smile this time, not the polite ones you'd been giving all evening. It was a little crooked, a little playful, and it hit him harder than he wanted to admit.

"Likewise," he managed, his voice quieter than intended.

Hye-soo stepped forward then, her smile a touch too bright, her hand reaching out to touch your arm as she offered some polite compliment. You accepted it graciously, your demeanor unchanging, but Jeonghan saw the way your eyes flickered—sharp, assessing, taking in every detail of her performance.

He didn't know what passed between you in that silent exchange, but when your gaze shifted back to him, something about your expression had changed. It was softer, more amused, like you'd already decided he wasn't worth sharing.

And for the first time that night, Jeonghan smiled—a real one, small and almost shy, but real. Because for reasons he couldn't yet explain, he wanted nothing more than to be worthy of the attention you'd just given him.

The door to the dressing room clicked shut behind you, the muffled chaos of the set fading into a distant hum. Jeonghan's gaze was dark and focused, his usual easygoing demeanor replaced by something more raw, more consuming. You barely had time to catch your breath before his hands found your waist, pulling you flush against him as his lips claimed yours with a fervor that sent your head spinning.

It was a whirlwind—a blur of heat and longing. His fingers slid under the fabric of your top, skimming the bare skin beneath, his touch both electrifying and soothing. You gasped against his lips, your arms instinctively wrapping around his neck, anchoring yourself to him as your knees threatened to give out. Jeonghan was gorgeous, unbearably so, and in moments like these, he felt almost unreal.

Your heart pounded wildly, each beat echoing in your ears. It was impossible to reconcile this moment with the doubts you'd carried when you first met him. Back then, you thought he'd barely notice you, that someone like Jeonghan—dazzling, untouchable—would never look at you twice. Yet here you were, his hands roaming your body like he couldn't get enough, his lips moving against yours like you were the air he needed to breathe.

You broke away for a moment, your chest heaving as you tried to steady yourself. But Jeonghan didn't let you get far. His hands tightened around your waist, pulling you back as his lips hovered over yours, the soft warmth of his breath brushing against your skin.

"I can't let her lips stay on mine too long," he murmured, his voice low and rough, a stark contrast to the teasing words. His nose brushed against yours as he leaned in closer, his lips grazing yours lightly before retreating just enough to make you ache for more.

A soft laugh escaped your lips, your fingers threading through his hair as you tilted his face toward yours. "I'll wash them off for you, my love," you whispered, your voice thick with both playfulness and desire. The words barely had time to settle between you before you captured his lips again, pulling him into a kiss that was deeper, hungrier, more desperate than before.

Your tongues tangled in a rhythm that felt instinctual, a dance of passion and unspoken words. His hands roamed freely, tracing the curve of your spine, brushing against the sensitive skin of your waist, leaving a trail of fire in their wake. You shivered under his touch, your body pressing closer to his as if proximity alone could satisfy the yearning that consumed you.

"Do you have any idea what you do to me?" Jeonghan whispered against your lips, his voice trembling just enough to reveal the depth of his emotions. His hands found your hips, gripping them firmly as his forehead pressed against yours. "You drive me insane."

A blush crept up your neck, heat pooling in your chest as you tried to catch your breath. "I could say the same about you," you replied, your voice breathless but steady, your eyes searching his. "You're impossible."

He smirked, that familiar glint of mischief returning to his gaze. "Impossible, huh?" His lips brushed the corner of your mouth, his hands slipping to the small of your back, pulling you impossibly closer. "You're the one who walked into my life and flipped everything upside down."

You wanted to respond, to tease him back, but the intensity in his eyes silenced you. It was a look that made your chest tighten, a look that spoke of feelings too complex to put into words. So instead, you kissed him again, pouring everything you couldn't say into the way your lips moved against his, the way your hands clung to him like he was your lifeline.

Minutes passed, maybe hours—it was impossible to tell. All you knew was the warmth of his touch, the softness of his lips, the way his presence consumed every inch of your awareness. For a fleeting moment, nothing else mattered. Not the set outside, not the chaos of your lives, not even the knowledge that this would complicate everything.

In this room, in his arms, it was just the two of you. And that was enough.

The two of you stepped out of the dressing room, the air between you still charged with the remnants of your stolen moment. Jeonghan's hair was slightly tousled, his lips swollen and redder than usual, while your soft pink lipstick was now smudged, leaving just enough evidence for the curious stares around the set. The whispers were immediate.

It didn't take long for someone to notice, and of course, it had to be Hye-soo. Her eyes darted between you and Jeonghan, narrowing with an intensity that made her look like she was plotting to leap and attack you. She clenched her jaw, her entire body radiating frustration. You, however, were perfectly unbothered.

Pausing mid-step, you turned to Jeonghan and tugged him gently by the arm, making him face you. With the utmost care (and an intentional touch of theatrics), you reached up to fix his disheveled hair.

"You're such a mess," you said playfully, brushing his bangs into place.

Jeonghan smirked, leaning down to your level as if he couldn't resist getting closer. "And whose fault is that?" he teased, swiping his thumb over your lips to clean up the smudged lipstick. The gesture was tender, but there was a flicker of something mischievous in his eyes as he added, "If you're trying to make a statement, you're doing a phenomenal job."

You glanced over your shoulder, catching sight of Hye-soo, who looked seconds away from exploading. "Putting on a show?" Jeonghan whispered, his hands finding your waist like it was second nature.

"Maybe," you replied with a sly smile, purposefully glancing in Hye-soo's direction. The minute your gaze met hers, her expression darkened, and she stormed out of the studio with a huff loud enough to make the crew turn and stare.

Jeonghan chuckled lowly, watching her retreat. "You're dangerous, you know that?"

You shrugged nonchalantly, turning back to him with a lighthearted grin. "Honestly? This isn't even about her anymore. It's about us." You punctuated your words with a quick kiss to his cheek, then pulled away before he could pull you back in.

Just as Jeonghan opened his mouth to respond, the unmistakable sound of someone clearing their throat cut through the air. The two of you turned, and there stood the director, his arms crossed and his eyes narrowing in disapproval.

"Woah," Jeonghan said, feigning surprise as he chuckled nervously. "How long have you been standing there, sir?"

"Long enough," the director replied, visibly irritated. "You two shouldn't be doing this in the middle of the studio. Get a room, will you?"

You suppressed a laugh, but Jeonghan, ever the troublemaker, grinned and replied, "We already did."

Your elbow jabbed him sharply in the stomach before he could elaborate further. "Ow!" he yelped, doubling over slightly, though he was still smirking.

The director pinched the bridge of his nose, exhaling slowly like a parent scolding unruly children. "Do you two have any idea how much trouble this could cause for the production? I can already see the headlines: 'Male lead Yoon Jeonghan and second lead Y/N caught in scandalous affair!'" His tone was exasperated, though slightly melodramatic.

That was the final straw—you burst out laughing, the sound bright and carefree, echoing through the studio. Jeonghan froze, his gaze softening as he watched you. His irritation melted away entirely, replaced by a warmth that made him forget anyone else existed.

Your laughter was infectious, and even the director blinked, momentarily disarmed. The entire crew, who had paused to watch the scene unfold, also seemed captivated. It wasn't just Jeonghan who adored you—you had the entire set under your spell.

Jeonghan caught the lingering stares from some of the staff and cast members, their admiration for you clear as day. His expression darkened almost comically, his gaze sweeping the room as if to warn everyone, Back off—she's mine.

Finally regaining his composure, the director shook his head. "You're impossible," he muttered. "If this blows up, I'm blaming you two."

Smiling sweetly, you clasped your hands together like a picture of innocence. "We'll make sure that never happens, our best director-nim," you said, your voice as soothing as a lullaby. Somehow, even the director, who moments ago had been fuming, softened under your charm.

Jeonghan leaned in, muttering under his breath just loud enough for you to hear, "You could get away with murder if you wanted to."

You bit back a grin, glancing at him out of the corner of your eye. "Only if you're my partner in crime."

The air outside the studio felt heavy, the crisp breeze doing little to soothe your frayed nerves. You excused yourself from Jeonghan and the director, feigning the need for a breath of fresh air when, in truth, you were looking for her—Hye-soo. She'd been haunting your thoughts ever since the shoot began, her presence always a bitter reminder of the tangled history you shared. You weren't sure what you expected from this conversation, but you had to try. You always had to try.

You found her near the corner of the lot, scrolling on her phone with an air of detachment. Her perfectly styled hair caught the golden light, making her look like the picture-perfect heroine she was cast to be. The sight of her still brought a pang of nostalgia, even after everything. For a moment, you hesitated. Was this worth it? Would she even listen?

"Hye-soo," you called out, your voice steady but soft.

She turned, her expression cool and guarded the moment she saw you. "What do you want?" she asked, her tone sharp enough to cut.

"I just want to talk," you replied, taking a cautious step forward. "Can we please—can we try to fix this? Whatever happened between us, I—"

"Fix this?" she scoffed, lowering her phone to give you her full attention. Her eyes blazed with an anger you hadn't expected. "You think you can fix this? After everything?"

"I've been trying to," you said, your voice trembling slightly. "I've tried to reach out to you, to explain—"

"To explain what? That you're not guilty of anything? That you didn't go behind my back and let people pit us against each other?" She laughed bitterly. "You don't get it, do you? This isn't something you can just apologize for."

Your chest tightened, the weight of her words settling like a stone. "I never wanted any of that. I hated the comparisons, the rumors—it wasn't my fault. You were my best friend, Hye-soo. I didn't ask for any of this."

"And yet, here you are," she snapped, crossing her arms. "The second lead, with Jeonghan wrapped around your finger. Isn't that enough for you?"

Her words stung, but you held your ground. "This isn't about him. It's about us—about how we used to be. Don't you miss that?"

Hye-soo's expression faltered for a moment, a flicker of something soft and familiar crossing her face before it hardened again. "If you want to make it up to me," she said coldly, "then break up with him."

Her demand hit you like a slap. You stared at her, stunned, your heart racing as your blood began to boil. "That's not fair, and you know it," you said, your voice low and trembling with emotion.

"Fair?" she echoed, taking a step closer. "Nothing about this has ever been fair. You were handed everything—"

"I earned it!" you shot back, cutting her off. "You think my life has been easy? That I didn't work for every single thing I have? You know that's not true."

She glared at you, her jaw tightening before she turned on her heel and walked away without another word. You stood there, your chest heaving, your emotions swirling in a chaotic storm.

The memory of her retreating figure lingered as you stared into the distance, your hands balled into fists at your sides. The bitterness between you two hadn't always existed. Once upon a time, Hye-soo was your everything.

The flashback crept in like an unwelcome guest, bringing with it the bittersweet memory of your early days in the industry.

Back then, Hye-soo had been your anchor, your partner-in-crime. You two had been inseparable, bonded over sneaking snacks during strict diets and whispering secrets late into the night. She was the person you looked up to, admired, maybe even loved in a way that you didn't fully understand at the time.

She had always been magnetic—bright, charming, and full of life. It was impossible not to be drawn to her. And for a while, things had been perfect. Until the comparisons started.

It wasn't your fault. At least, that's what you told yourself. You couldn't control how the managers and producers favored you, how they praised your acting skills and visuals. But the more they built you up, the more they tore her down.

At first, Hye-soo acted like it didn't bother her. She'd laugh it off, telling you it was fine, that she didn't care. But you knew her too well. You saw the cracks in her facade, the way her smile didn't quite reach her eyes anymore.

You tried to confront her, to assure her that you didn't want the comparisons either, but the rumors had already started. Whispers about you sleeping with managers and producers to secure your roles spread like wildfire. It was cruel, baseless, and you hated every second of it. But the damage was done.

Hye-soo began pulling away, her warmth replaced by icy indifference. And then, when this project came along, you both fought for the spot. You knew she wanted the role for Jeonghan's sake—her feelings for him were no secret. But no amount of her family's wealth or influence could erase the connection you and Jeonghan had. Even as the second lead, you'd won a part of him that she never could.

The sound of footsteps snapped you back to the present. Turning, you saw Jeonghan approaching, his expression unreadable. He must have seen Hye-soo leaving—or rather, storming away.

He stopped in front of you, his gaze searching your face for answers. "Are you okay?"

You nodded, though the tightness in your chest said otherwise. "She doesn't want to talk."

Jeonghan's jaw tightened slightly, but he didn't press. Instead, he reached out, his hand brushing against your arm in silent comfort.

"I told you this would happen," you admitted quietly, your voice trembling. "That being with me would make everything worse."

Jeonghan shook his head, his gaze softening. "It's not your fault. None of this is."

For a moment, the weight of everything—the past, the present, the impossible tangle of emotions—felt a little lighter. With Jeonghan by your side, you felt a flicker of hope.

"She said I should break up with you," you confessed, your voice barely above a whisper.

"And?" Jeonghan asked, his lips curving into a faint smile.

You looked at him, your heart aching with the intensity of how much you loved him. "That's not an option."

Jeonghan's smile deepened, and there was a warmth in his eyes that made the air around you feel a little less suffocating. He took a small step closer, his presence grounding you in a way you couldn't fully explain. "Good. Because she's not the one you need to be worrying about right now."

You let out a shaky breath, glancing down at the ground for a moment, trying to gather yourself. It was hard to look at Jeonghan without feeling both a sense of relief and a twinge of guilt. Hye-soo's words kept echoing in your mind—If you want to make it up to me, break up with him—but you had already made your choice.

Looking back up at him, you smiled faintly. "I don't know what I expected, honestly. She's changed. We've changed. I never thought it would come to this."

Jeonghan's fingers brushed against your cheek, his touch so gentle that it almost felt like a promise. "Sometimes people change, but that doesn't mean you have to. You're not the person she's trying to make you out to be. Don't let her take away your peace."

His words were like a balm for the wound Hye-soo had left. You swallowed, feeling the weight on your chest slowly lift. Jeonghan was right—this wasn't your fault. But the pain of losing Hye-soo, of watching the bond you once shared with her unravel, still cut deeply.

"It's just... hard, you know? I never wanted to lose her." You looked up at him, your voice barely above a whisper. "But I don't think I can keep pretending that everything's okay when it's not."

Jeonghan's eyes softened even further, and he placed both hands on your shoulders, steadying you. "You don't have to pretend with me. And you don't have to do anything you don't want to do. You've got me, always."

For a moment, there was silence between you two. The weight of the past few months—the rumors, the lies, the rivalry, the betrayal—hung thick in the air, but Jeonghan's presence made it feel bearable. He wasn't just standing by you; he was anchoring you, in a way only he could.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked quietly, his gaze not leaving yours. "The rumors, the truth... whatever you need to say, I'm here."

You swallowed again; your throat tight with the emotions you'd kept hidden for so long. "I don't want to drag you into it... but it feels like everything I've worked for has been overshadowed by rumors that I can't control. I've done everything by the book, Jeonghan. I've worked so hard to get here, and now it feels like everyone's just waiting for me to fall."

Jeonghan shook his head, his hands gently cupping your face as he forced you to meet his gaze. "Listen to me. I know who you are. I know what you've been through. And I know how much you've sacrificed to get to this point. Don't let anyone's words—especially hers—make you doubt that. You're not alone in this. I'm not going anywhere."

Tears welled in your eyes, and for the first time in what felt like forever, you let them fall. You didn't care. Not anymore. Not when Jeonghan was holding you like this, as if you mattered more than anything else in the world.

"I just... I feel like everything's falling apart," you whispered, your voice breaking. "Hye-soo, the rumors, even my own family. I don't know who to trust anymore."

Jeonghan's thumb gently wiped away a tear, his expression soft but unwavering. "You trust me. And I trust you."

You leaned into his touch, closing your eyes as the weight of everything seemed to melt away, if only for a moment. His words were like a quiet promise, a reassurance that despite all the chaos around you, there was one thing you could count on—him.

You finally opened your eyes again, meeting his gaze with renewed resolve. "I'm sorry, Jeonghan. For everything."

He smiled, the corners of his lips curving up in that familiar, reassuring way. "There's nothing to apologize for. We're in this together. You don't have to face it alone."

For a long moment, you simply stood there, enveloped in his warmth, the world outside fading away. Hye-soo, the rumors, the industry—they all seemed distant now. Because right here, in this moment, you had Jeonghan. And that was all that mattered.

A few days later, you found yourself once again in the studio, the weight of the past still lingering, but a quiet sense of peace settling within you. Jeonghan had been right there by your side every step of the way, offering unwavering support when things felt impossible.

The shoot was going smoother now, though the tension with Hye-soo was still palpable. She avoided you at every turn, and the coldness between you two lingered in the air like an unspoken challenge. But you no longer cared.

As you prepared for the next scene, Jeonghan leaned in close, his lips brushing your ear. "You're amazing, you know that?"

You turned to face him, surprised by the sincerity in his voice. "You really think so?"

"I know so," he said softly, his fingers brushing against your hand. "Don't ever forget that."

The connection between you two was undeniable. And in that moment, as you shared a quiet, knowing smile, you realized that everything else could fall away—but this, this bond, was something that would never break.

The sound of bustling voices fades as you and Jeonghan slip away from the chaos of the shoot, finding yourselves in a secluded, dimly lit lounge area. The atmosphere is heavy with the weight of unsaid words, the quiet hum of the room pressing down on you both. You're sitting close on the couch, but the space between you seems like miles. The room smells faintly of leather and wood, the faint scent of cologne lingering in the air from where Jeonghan leans in a little too close.

You both start talking about the shoot, trying to keep things light, but the tension is palpable. It's as if every word you speak makes the air thicker, more suffocating. You catch him glancing at your lips a few too many times, but each time you meet his gaze, you notice how his eyes darken, his pupils dilating just a little. The subtle but undeniable spark between you two has always been there. Today, it's dangerously close to setting everything on fire.

You reach for your glass of water, your hand brushing against his as you both move at the same time. It's subtle. An innocent touch. But the moment your skin makes contact with his, everything changes.

His fingers freeze for a split second, the warmth from his hand making your skin burn. You pull away instinctively, but the damage has already been done. The soft touch, the heat from his hand, lingers on your skin like an invisible brand. You swear you can still feel it even though the touch is long gone. Your heart skips a beat, your breath catching slightly in your throat as you glance up to meet his gaze.

His hand is still hovering near where you touched. His chest rises and falls in shallow breaths, as if trying to regain control of the situation. His lips part slightly as if he's about to say something, but no words come out. Instead, there's just a sharp, silent acknowledgment in his eyes.

The tension between you two is unbearable now.

Jeonghan shifts slightly in his seat, and his gaze flicks down to your lips for a fraction of a second. It's as if he can't help it. He swallows hard, his jaw tightening. It's clear he's fighting something—fighting the urge to pull you in, to kiss you, to close the space between you that feels too far apart.

You don't move, frozen in the moment, feeling your body heat up in ways you hadn't expected. His breath hitches as he leans just a little closer, his body language unmistakable. You can't ignore it any longer. The undeniable pull between you two has taken on a life of its own, and you're both powerless to resist it.

"Jeonghan..." You whisper his name like it's a question, but it comes out more like an invitation.

His breath catches again, his lips barely an inch from your ear. You feel the heat of his body close to yours, the warmth radiating off him, as he leans in even further, his breath hot against your skin. His lips graze the shell of your ear as he whispers softly, "Do you feel it too?" His voice is low, barely a whisper, but it sends a thrill through you.

You don't answer him with words. Instead, you let your body answer for you, shifting slightly toward him, tilting your head back just enough to give him the opening he's been waiting for.

Jeonghan's lips brush against your neck, soft at first, but with a slow, deliberate pressure that sends shivers down your spine. He's testing the waters, sensing the way your body reacts to his touch, and it's driving you crazy. 

He grabs the glass of water you were holding, placing it back on the table without pulling away from you or your body.

His hand moves from the edge of the couch where it had been resting, coming to rest on your thigh. He doesn't move it at first, just leaves it there, the pressure of his hand causing your skin to burn beneath the fabric. It's a gentle touch, but you feel it deep in your core, your body reacting almost involuntarily.

You shift slightly, your breath quickening as you feel him slowly inch his hand further up your thigh, his fingers brushing the sensitive skin there. Every small movement from him feels like an invitation, and you can't resist anymore. You lean forward just slightly, your lips finding his in a kiss that's soft at first but quickly grows deeper, more desperate.

His hand slides from your thigh to your waist, pulling you closer as he kisses you harder. You can taste the urgency on his lips, the need that's been building for far too long now.

His other hand moves to the back of your neck, threading through your hair and gently pulling your head back, exposing your throat to him. His lips follow, trailing soft kisses down your neck, before they return to your lips in another searing kiss.

You can feel his heart beating against your chest, and you can't help but want more, the desire building between you two like a slow burn that's finally breaking through.

Jeonghan's lips pull away from yours for a brief moment, his breath coming in shallow gasps. "Are you sure?" he asks, his voice rough with desire. It's a question, but his eyes already tell you he's certain of the answer. He doesn't need to hear the words; he can see it in your eyes, the way you're looking at him, the way you're holding him closer.

You nod, your fingers gripping his shirt as you pull him back toward you. Your lips meet again, this time more fiercely, more urgently. You're both hungry for each other, the restraint that had held you back now gone.

Jeonghan's hands are everywhere—on your back, your hips, your legs. His touch is both gentle and possessive, as if he wants to savor every inch of you but also claim you as his own. You can't help but respond to his every move, every touch, your body betraying you as you lean into him, giving him more of yourself.

His lips find their way back to your neck, trailing kisses along your jaw and down to your collarbone. The way his lips feel against your skin, the pressure of his touch, sends waves of pleasure through you. His hand moves lower, resting on your waist before slipping under your shirt, his fingers brushing against your bare skin.

You gasp as his hand moves higher up to the inner of your thighs, and you spread your legs open, his touch insistent but slow, savoring every moment. His lips return to yours, and the kiss deepens, filled with the hunger and need that you've both been holding back for far too long.

He moves your skirt up, now feeling the wetness of your underwear. You muffled in between kisses, with Jeonghan swallowing your every moans. He pulled the fabric off your legs and buried his fingers deep into your cunt, his thumb running circles on your clit. 

You shivered under his touch, his fingers working to stretch your already soaked cunt. He fucked your pussy with his fingers well that you were squirming under his touch, sounds escaping from your lips louder. 

Jeonghan had to shut you up with him kissing your lips. Once you reached your high, cumming all over his fingers, he unbuttons his pants down and you can see the tip of his cock glimmering with precum. "I'm going to put it in, stay quiet this time."

You swallowed hard before nodding. He placed his cock on your clit, giving it a few rubbing before slowly inserting it fully in your cunt. "F- fuck..." He grunted, his head spinning because the way he slid in you almost too easily was too hard to miss. You covered your mouth, not risking being caught by someone again like the last time.

"J- Just put it in," you muffled out, but Jeonghan didn't listen. 

"Can't have you begging me to stop later," he whispered, his fingers stretching you out, making it impossible to hold out your moans. Jeonghan just had to kiss your sounds—as much as he wants to hear you make those sounds of pleasure, he just can't. Well, not at a public space like this. It's possible that someone will eventually step in.

As he pulled his fingers out, he pulls his pants down just enough for his cock to be freed. It was long, and hard as ever. Jeonghan places the tip of his cock on your clit, rubbing it in your pussy before entering you fully. 

You moaned, with Jeonghan trying to quiet you down. "Shhh... Damn it."

"I- W- wait," you muffled, your cunt twitching on his cock. "I can't." Jeonghan replied, moving his hips in slow thrusts. "Your walls are swallowing me whole. You're awesome."

His hips moved a little faster this time. You were breathless. Jeonghan has you pinned down on the couch, fucking you now roughly while you hold back the sounds from coming out of your mouth. 

The sound of skin slapping, your pussy squirming and squelching when you meet his hard thrusts, and muffled moans filling the room. When your walls started to tighten around his dick, that's when he lets out grunts.

Jeonghan thrusted in your cunt, burying himself inside you like never before. He was fighting hard to meet his highs, and yours too. 

You cum all over his dick before him, but that wasn't enough for him to pull away. He ran circles on your clit, his tongue all over your neck as he finally reaches his own high. 

Cumming, he lifted your shirt as he took his hot load on your stomach. Your cunt glistened with your own fluids.

"You're amazing," Jeonghan says as he looked at the quivering mess underneath him. Your hair disheveled, cheeks all red looking so pretty like that.

You pushed him before straddling on his lap. "Let me take care of you," you muttered, kissing him immediately right afterwards, leaving him no room to respond.

Him already hard cock springs up again and leaks with precum as you fucked him with your soft thighs. His cock twitching as you rocked your hips back in forth. Rubbing yourself on his cock, hips shaking as you overstimulate yourself above him. 

And that's when you finally entered him. Your eyes rolling to the back of your head as Jeonghan looked at you with awe.

He lifted your shirt, unclipped your bra as he finds your nipples, kissing and nipping on the sensitive skin there, making you let out a moan. He didn't stop you this time. Who cares if you get caught.

You finally bounced on him, making Jeonghan pant breathlessly. His eyes focused on the way your tits were bouncing before him so sinfully—he loved how you took control over him. Especially when he knew you wouldn't do something like this in a public space.

Jeonghan kissed your lips as you grind yourself further into his cock, reaching the depths of heaven. Jeonghan held your hips in place before cumming inside you, the mix of your cum and his blending perfectly as it coated your walls. 

Your head fell down on Jeonghan's shoulder. Catching your breath as he clips your bra back, cleaning your messy body. His fingers moving to the soft of your hair as if to soothe you off. 

"You did well," he whispered, planting a kiss on your cheek. He didn't let you pull away from his cock just yet. He wanted to feel your warmth covering his cock. Just by the feeling of your gummy, hot pussy made him hard again, and your tried to squirm away, but Jeonghan didn't let you.

He rocked your hips slowly as he grunted with lust. Moaning as he felt you pussy twitching. "J- Jeonghan... Wait..." You called out, finding his shoulder to bite into his shoulder as he moves you a little faster now.

"Last... one..." He muttered; his breathing heavy as he slides in your cunt a little rougher. 

With a few more pounds and squirms, he finally cums in you again, with you passing out on his arms right after you squirted three times on his cock.

The room was heavy with the aftermath of passion, the air thick with warmth and the lingering scent of Jeonghan's cologne mixed with your own. Your body was draped against him, utterly spent, your breathing shallow as you rested in his arms. His hands traced lazy patterns along your bare back, his touch possessive, yet oddly tender. You felt the faint thrum of his heartbeat against your cheek, steady and unhurried, as if he had all the time in the world.

Jeonghan, finally contended, ran his fingers through your hair, lulling you deeper to sleep as he uses your pussy to warm his cock. 

You barely registered his quiet chuckle, the sound sending a faint shiver down your spine. Your mind was hazy, the weight of exhaustion pulling you under. You were vaguely aware of his body still connected to yours, his warmth anchoring you as your consciousness started to slip away.

"Good girl," he whispered, his voice low and laced with something darker, something triumphant. He brushed a strand of hair from your face, tucking it behind your ear as he studied you with an intensity that made your skin prickle, even in your half-dazed state.

You stirred faintly, murmuring something incoherent, but Jeonghan only smiled. "Shh," he cooed softly, pressing a kiss to your forehead. "You've worked so hard, my love. Rest now."

And you did, succumbing to the pull of sleep, blissfully unaware of the way his gaze shifted, how his expression turned from soft affection to something far more sinister.

The soft click of a door opening pulled Jeonghan's attention, though he didn't move. He didn't need to. He knew exactly who it was.

"Good job, Hyesoo," he called out casually, his voice smooth and unbothered. His fingers skimmed along your bare skin one last time before resting on your hip, his touch possessive as he glanced up.

Hyesoo stepped into the room, her face a carefully constructed mask of indifference. In her hands was a camera, and she held it out to him silently. Jeonghan smirked, his eyes gleaming with satisfaction as he took it, already eager to see the results.

"She's full of my scent," he murmured, his voice low and almost reverent as his gaze shifted back to your sleeping form. His pupils dilated as he took in every detail of you—the flush on your cheeks, the marks he'd left on your skin, the way your body was still connected to his, as if even in unconsciousness, you belonged to him. "I'll save this picture in my head forever."

Hyesoo said nothing, her jaw tightening slightly as she turned away. She didn't need to watch him replay the footage; she already knew what was there. She had filmed it herself, after all. Jeonghan's obsession was no secret to her—it never had been. And yet, she stayed by his side, playing her role in his elaborate scheme.

Jeonghan leaned back against the couch, his free hand absently brushing over your arm as he scrolled through the clips. Each one was a masterpiece to him, a testament to his control, his possession of you. He watched them over and over, his expression shifting between adoration and something far darker.

"You're mine," he whispered, more to himself than anyone else. The words were both a promise and a declaration, one he had ensured would be true no matter what.

Jeonghan's smirk deepened as he reviewed the footage one last time before setting the camera aside. Everything had gone exactly as he had planned.

From the moment he saw you, he had known you were meant to be his. But he also knew you wouldn't come to him willingly, not at first. So, he orchestrated everything—down to the finest detail.

Hyesoo had been a key player, pretending to be your friend, earning your trust only to betray it when the time was right. The rumors about you? All planted. The whispers about your connections to the higher-ups, the way people started to question your integrity—it had all been his doing. He needed you vulnerable, isolated, desperate enough to turn to him.

And it had worked. Every step, every move, had brought you closer to this moment. To him.

Even your role as the second lead in the film had been a calculated choice. He had pushed for it, knowing it would keep you close, knowing it would force you to rely on him as the chaos of the industry swirled around you.

"You really are perfect," he murmured, his fingers brushing over your cheek. "Even better than I imagined."

Hyesoo shifted uncomfortably in the corner of the room, her arms crossed as she avoided his gaze. She had agreed to help him, but even she hadn't anticipated the extent of his obsession. Watching it unfold, seeing the lengths he was willing to go—it made her stomach twist.

But she stayed silent. She always did.

Jeonghan glanced up at her, his smile sharp. "You've done well, Hyesoo," he said, his tone dripping with condescension. "Don't think I've forgotten how valuable you've been to me."

Hyesoo's jaw tightened, but she nodded, her expression betraying nothing. She knew better than to challenge him. Not when he held all the power.

As you slept peacefully in his arms, Jeonghan allowed himself a moment of indulgence. He had won. Everything he had ever wanted was now his.

And he wasn't about to let you go.

Not now. Not ever.

a/n: thank you for reading. the plot isnt plotting cause like.. wtf did i just do? i shouldve just put a smut with no actual plot lmao. anyhow i hope reader likes it ! lmk if i missed a few waqrnings or what i should add on the tags/genre. ty ! LY! ᓚᘏᗢ

also, huge thank you for @ririesna who requested for this fanfic idea (actor x actor). without her req, i wouldnt be able to post anything at all. im open for requests, if you want to leave some, i will be posting.

i just made a taglist for oneshots (general groups)? click this link if you want to be added ;)

[hyuckkaiji]

my love - ominis gaunt x f!reader

summary; pt.2 to only mine. Ominis has loved you since the moment he met you. He found the universe cruel to give him such a love yet allow you to love his best friend. But now you're his, and he can never let you go. Not after all he did to get you in the first place. Ominis!pov up until the actual smut then it's kinda dual!pov pt.3: ominis , pt.3 sebastian

word count; 5.1k

warnings; 18+, explicit sexual content, dark themes, dubcon, porn with a plot, dark!ominis, sub/dom dynamics, mentions of cheating/infidelity, manipulation, obsessive behavior, controlling behavior, If I'm gonna be real with y'all ... yandere!ominis

note; in love with this man, need him to treat me like this. idc if he locks me up in his basement as long as I'm with him. maybe went a lil overboard. Second ever smut 🥴🫶 also ik I didn't specify but the spell he used locked her in the house so she couldn't run away 🤪

The memory of meeting you is ingrained in Ominis' mind, every part of you is. The sound of your laugh, the smell of your hair, the feel of your skin against his. You are undoubtedly irrefutably the most beautiful creature to have ever walked this earth. He's known that since he was fifteen.

But you didn't love him back, much to his dismay. Although he could understand it. Who would love him? Not even his own family did. No, he didn't fault you for not loving him. He faulted you for loving Sebastian Sallow.

He would tell himself he understood, of course he understood. He loved Sebastian too, Sebastian was one of only three people he had ever loved. He understood it, he did not blame you, he understood it, he did, he swore he did. But he didn't, not really, and as time went on, his lack of understanding only furthered.

And he began to blame you, such an intelligent witch, and yet you continued to be fool when it came to Sebastian. You watched him make all the wrong decisions, for merlin's sake, aided him in those decisions. You not only stood by but stood with Sebastian as he delved deeper and deeper into the dark arts, all in hopes of saving Anne.

Constantly defending his decline into utter insanity, "If it were my sister..." But you didn't have siblings, Ominis did, and he would never do what Sebastian was doing. It wasn't right. When would you stop being such a fool? He told you and told you and told you some more how bad the dark arts truly are. But you always did favor ignoring his warnings.

Did you just not care about what he had to say? No, you cared, you told him you cared, and he knew you spoke truly, but you cared about Sebastian's happiness more. Even when he couldn't take it, even when he begged you to speak some sense into Sebastian, you defended your lover. "Would you not use the unforgivables to save a loved one?" For you he may, but he had pushed that thought away, doubling down, telling you under no circumstances would he ever.

His last straw was the killing curse, the bloody killing curse. There was no coming back from that. He could no longer stand by his friend, his brother, really. The only family he had, he couldn't stand by Sebastian when he wouldn't even stand by his own blood for using such heinous magic. He had expected you to side with him. You weren't that much of a fool. His heart broke when you didn't, Sebastian it was always Sebastian. You begged him not to tell, Sebastian had good reason for his actions. No one need know what he did.

According to you, Sebastian always had good reason, and you begged so prettily, the word please sounded so right coming from your lips. Until he remembered why you were saying, "please," why you were begging. But he agreed none the less, agreed to keep Sebastian's secret. But that was a lie, a lie he swore to take to his grave. Sebastian had gone too far.

Ominis hadn't slept. In fact, he was on his fourth cup of coffee. Tea, tea, you had told him, with some of the other ladies, wives, of Feldcroft. But tea does not take all night. He had opened up a book when you left, opting to read until your return.

He had wanted to beg you to stay in with him, wanted to let his hands roam your bare skin, wanted to drop to his knees, and hike your leg over his shoulders then and there. But he is a gentleman. So he decided to wait until you got back home to satiate his desires, you wouldn't be long and he's not an animal, he could wait.

Waited he did, waited until the book began to bore him. Waited until the moon hid away, waited until the vibrant colors of dawn began to paint the sky. You were like this sometimes. He had learned to work around it. So, like the good husband he is, he waited. Other men would have demanded you stayed. Other men would have gone out and dragged you back home, beat you bloody perhaps. But he isn't like that he loves you and he'll work around your moods. You always come back to him any how.

He knows it's just one of your moods or moments as he calls them. Those times where you think you want to leave him, where you think you'd be able to. But you know and he knows, he's all you have and you'll come back. He'll wait until you feel better, but he'll not sleep without by his side.

So there he sat, swirling a fourth cup of coffee, with just a hint of milk and sugar. He didn't like it too sweet. The sun not yet fully in the sky when he hears you shuffling your way to the front door. Perhaps you thought he'd still be asleep. He did enjoy extra time in bed on his days off. Perhaps you thought you could climb into bed with him and pretend you hadn't been out contemplating running away, again.

You did that semi-often. He would pretend to be asleep, he would pretend not to notice you'd walked your night away, lost in that pretty head of yours. But he knew, he knows everything about you. It doesn't bother him the way you feel, not really. He would love it if you loved him back. Hell, he'd be over the moon about it, but it's not important. You can hate him, he doesn't really care, as long as you're his, your feelings don't really matter.

As long as you sleep by his side at night, as long as you have breakfast with him every morning, as long as you welcome him home with false kisses in the evenings, as long as you quiver when his cock enters you, he's perfectly happy letting you have your little day dreams about leaving.

Something about tonight had felt different, though. He had felt off. It was not long before dawn when he let his worries get the best of him, the sky more dark than light when he cast his spell. His intuition was right, it always was.

Sebastian Sallow was in Feldcroft. Ominis should have been more diligent with his wards, he knew he had been getting slack. It had been so many years now, he thought surely Sebastian would have moved on by now. But no, he supposes, had roles been reversed, he would not have moved on either. It's his own fault, he should have never slacked on his wards. He would need to remedy his mistake.

Perhaps you hadn't run into Sebastian, perhaps it had just been a normal walk for you. No, Ominis knows Sebastian, even after all these years, he knows him. He found his way to you, his perfect little wife. Gods help him if he has touched you in any way.

How to deal with this dilemma? Oblivate maybe. No he doesn't feel right casting such a spell on you, a good husband would never. He needs more information before-

"Husband." Merlin, how he loves hearing you say that. Yes, yes, he is your husband, you needn't ever speak his name again. Only call him husband, stake your claim on him, call him yours. Yes, your husband. Your good husband, your sweet husband.

"Wife." His voice is calm, he looks over in your direction. Wand in one hand, coffee in the other. "You did not sleep, darling." A statement. "You did not come home, I couldn't sleep without you." True.

"I-I-" You didn't continue, letting the awkward silence settle, thick and heavy. "Come sit, my love, I was worried when you did not come home, but as you said, this is Feldcroft, so I did not necessarily worry for your safety." A lie, normally true, but tonight had been different, "Do not take that the wrong way. I always worry for your safety, I only meant-"

"I know what you meant, husband." You tossed your coat over an armchair before sitting next to Ominis. He set his wand and coffee to the side on a small table, uncrossing his legs, patting his lap for you to rest your head. A common gesture, he enjoys the way your hair feels like woven silk between his fingers. You obeyed, such a good wife, his wife.

You wiggled a bit before finding a comfortable spot on his lap. He was still in the same outfit. Though he was only in his dark blue trousers and his white button-down shirt. "Where were you?" His fingers started their routine, your hair was knotted, more than usual. His fingers gently worked out the knots regardless.

"Walking, I'm sorry, I should have come home. Should have come back to you." Liar, his fingers twitched, wanting to grab you by your hair and force you to speak the truth. He knows where you were. He always knows where you are. Just as he always knows where Sebastian is.

It was one of his main reasons for becoming an auror. Of course, he enjoyed his job and enjoyed taking down dark wizards, scum of the earth. But his main reason was to keep Sebastian away from you, to keep you all to himself. You, you have been his reason for everything, his reason for living. His need for you is insatiable.

Before he met you, had Sebastian went down this dark path he might have mourned his friend, would have left his life but never betrayed him, never turned him in. But after you, you his sweet wife, his one true love. You're the reason Sebastian is on the run, this is really all your fault. If only you had loved him to begin with, he would have never needed to get rid of Sebastian.

Never needed to do all that he has done, for you, he did it all for you. Do not misunderstand, he regrets nothing but still it must be acknowledged, he is no betrayer by nature, he is only what you have made him.

"Speak the truth, y/n." He has no tolerance for liars, your falsities he could deal with but blatant lies, he could not. You shot up from his lap, moving to look in his face. Though his eyes could not see the worry etched into your features, he could feel it radiating off of you.

"Ominis." He perfers when you call him husband, but his name has never not sounded heavenly on your lips. "I speak the truth. Why do you accuse me otherwise?" Do you think him a fool? Blatant lies, by the gods, he never took you for a liar, yet here you are. He is a fool. He stands quickly, grabbing his wand.

"Ominis." You sound afraid, your voice coming out in a slight whimper. You've never sounded afraid of him before, something about it sends a jolt to his cock. You should sound afraid. He is a powerful wizard, after all, one of the most renowned aurors of your time. Him and his partner are responsible for putting almost half of the new prisoners in Azkaban, several he managed to capture on his own.

You should be afraid of him, you should respect him, you should love him. After all this fucking time and everything he has done for you, given for you, why don't you love him? Why is it still Sebastian. You would rather live a life on the run, a life of a criminal, than be with him?

He casts the spell while you still cower before him, one of his own creation. One, powerful witch you are, even you could not take down. "What...what was that?" Still whimpering, he'll give you a reason to whimper, a reason to beg.

Too long he has been the gentleman, the good auror, the perfect husband. Clearly, you crave something different than what he's been providing. "A spell."

"Cleary." You snap, fear gone, back again is his angry little wife. He loves you, anger and all, but dear, this not the time. His hand connects with your cheek, the sound of the slap vibrating in the silent house. He can smell the tinge of blood in the air, he must have broken your lip. He does not know his own strength, he should not have struck you so hard. No, you deserved this, he needs to teach you a lesson. He grips your face harshly, forcing you to look him in the eyes. He knows it's bothers you, makes you squirm to look a blind man in the eyes.

"You will not speak to me like that again. Unless you enjoy being struck?" You did not respond, at a loss for words he supposed. He's never been harsh with you, never even raised his voice at you. He can be a cruel man, truthfully he is a cruel man, just never to you. It's a side of him he has made sure you were never subject to.

He leaned down, until your noses were almost touching. He could feel your eyes scan his face, hear your short rapid breathes. Fear or anger? He wished you would speak. "Do you understand, wife?" He could barley hear you and he has superior hearing to most men, "yes."

"Yes, what?" He did not know what he wanted more, for you to anwser correctly or incorrectly so he could strike you again. Feeling you tremble beneath him, it was exhilarating. You need to understand how good you have it, need to understand all the leniency he gives you is a courtesy, one he will rescind unless you learn to behave like a proper wife, the wife he deserves.

"Yes husband." Such a good girl, his good little wife. He should be kind, he wants to be kind to you. But making you bleed, making you afraid has awoken some animal instinct in him, unchecked need.

He tilts his head letting his tongue dart out to swipe away the blood building at your lip, letting the metallic taste settle in his mouth. A part of you he is only tasting for the first time, a taste he wants more of. But he pulls back, he needs to control himself at least some what, at least until you beg him to continue.

He crouches before you, his hands against your knees, face tilted up towards yours. "My love, I know where you were." You shake your head, "I was walking, I just needed to breathe, needed to be away from the house for some time. I-" You let out a choked sob, fighting back your tears, he wants to comfort you, he hates when you cry, "I just wanted some time alone, sometime to feel like my own person. Not just Ominis Gaunt's wife."

His wife, his wife, his wife. Those words made his cock twitch, not the time. He stood and struck you again, this time you cried out, this time you brought your hands up to shield your face from another blow. His hand snaked into your hair, wrapping the loose strands in a fist, yanking your head back painfully.

"Speak the truth woman, unless you wish for me to forcefully extract the information." He was a master at such tactics, an empty threat when it came to you. He would never harm you in such a way, but you needed to believe he would.

"Ominis." Tears streamed down your face as you pleaded, but the way you said his name didn't have the intended affect on him. "Truth." Was his only response.

"I was with..." A hiccup, a sob, "Sebastian." The truth. Ominis released his harsh hold on you. Taking a seat next to you, pulling you into his chest, gentle hands stroking your head, rubbing your back as you continue to cry. "There, there my love. All I needed was the truth, if you had only been truthful to begin with." That only made you sob harder, but you did not pull away, instead burying your face deeper, holding his shirt tightly in balled fists.

When you finally calmed down, the only remnants of your break down being dried tear streaks and the occasional hiccup, Ominis held your face in his hands running a thumb over your busted lip softly. "I did not mean to hit you so hard, my love. I apologize."

"I-I can forgive you husband. Can you forgive me?" Did you mean it? Do you regret the night you spent with that fugitive? It doesn't matter, as long as you're in his arms, his wife, his love. "Tell me why you did it? Why you are not happy with me?" You face snaps to his, shocked at his words.

You stutter, unable to form a reply. "Yes, I know, I've always known. I just," He paused, leaning in to brush his lips against yours, "hoped you would learn to eventually." A shiver runs down your spine.

What made you do it, he isn't sure, but you lean in, closing the distance, locking your lips in a frenzied kiss, hands coming up to bury in his sleek blonde hair. Guilt? Best just to enjoy the moment. He kissing you back just as hurriedly, hands tearing your clothes off in a manor of disregard he has never shown before. Slow and loving has always been his way .

In a matter of moments both of you are naked, your kiss a mess of teeth and tongues, hands gripping hair and nails raking across bare skin.

His teeth bury into your neck, sucking and biting an angry red mark into your skin. You moan in response, using his shoulders to steady yourself, nailing digging into his pale flesh. "You're mine, my wife." His mouth is back on yours before you can respond.

This feeling is new for you, this way that Ominis is treating you. But you can't help the spark you feel, the tingles making their way through your body. You rub your thighs together to ease some of the friction, to feel some sort of sensation where you need it most. Where you need him, your husband, Ominis.

He slowed down, feeling you shift around, kissing soft chaste kisses, his normal kisses, into your skin. "Are you feeling needy, my love? Tell me what you wish." You always come first, "Your mouth, fuck, please Ominis."

Normally he would, as soon as the words "your mouth" left your lips he'd be down on his knees lapping away at your juices, swirling his tongue around your clit just the way he knows you like, the way that makes you come undone and shake beneath him. This is not a normal day.

He forces you down on your knees, your face aligned almost perfectly with his waiting leaking cock. "Ominis?" You're confused. He looking down, looking into your soul again, it's sends a shiver down your spine. But it's different this time not kind, not loving, but angry, hungry, a beast in a man's skin.

"I always give you what you want, I do my best to make you happy, I fuck you the way you want to be fucked. And still you have the gall to shut your eyes and imagine Sebastian while it's my cock you come undone on." His hand is in your hair, firm but not painful, "No more love, you're going to start being a good wife to me. You're going to listen and you're going to learn."

For the first time you want to, you stare up at Ominis' face, taking in every minute detail, the way his hair clings to his damp skin, mapping out the moles the scatter across his body, the ridged muscles he gained from years in the field as well as the scars he's got in battles, you've never cared to notice all this before. But right now I this moment, you can't deny, he's beautiful.

"Lesson one," He leans down, pressing a quick kiss to your waiting lips, "use that pretty mouth of your for something other that talking back to me."

"How do you know my mouth is pretty when you can't even see it?" He sneers at you, holding your hair a little tighter and it sends a wave down to your core. With his other hand he grabs his cock directing it down to press again you're lips.

In the four years you've been married to him, you've never done this. Sex has never been about his pleasure, only yours. Time and time again he had delved between you legs until you came apart on his tongue, yet he never asks for anything in return. You're not quite sure what to do, not sure you want to, not sure you could make him feel good if you did.

He taps your lips once more, "Open." His voice is gruff, he looks like he's barely restraining himself. You open hesitantly, but he's pushing his way in before your ready. You moan around him in protest, hands shooting up to push against his thighs, to no avail.

He's using his grip on your hair to make you bob around him, your tongue wrapping around the underside of his cock almost instinctionally. His head in thrown back, his chest rising and falling in rapid pants. "Fuck, pretty girl, I always knew your mouth would feel like heaven." He's jutting into your mouth, hitting the back of your throat repeatedly, making tears well in your eyes as you gag around him.

He keeps at this, holding you in place until he find his release. He lets go of your hair, moving both his hands to hold your face in place as he fucks the last few thrusts roughly into your throat. Your nails claw into his thighs at the assault. He doesn't pull all the way out, forcing you to swallow his load, the salty flavor settling, not nearly as bad as you would have imagined... almost pleasant.

He pulls you up, peppering kisses on your face. "You did so good, my sweet girl, my lovely wife." You don't know what to say but you feel an odd sense of pride, having made him feel so good, having made him come undone as he has you so many times before.

"Do you want me to touch you?" He's nuzzling his face into the crook of your neck, breathing in the scent of your skin. You hum in response, "Please husband." You can feel him smile against you, one hand grips your hips and the other trails up and down your spine.

"Good start, my love. But I know you can beg a little better than that." He presses a kiss to the tip of your nose. "Do you remember how you begged me not to out Sebastian, you almost got down on your knees, you were on the verge of tears, begging me, it was so pretty, you were so pretty. I used to touch myself every night to the way you sounded that day." He chuckles, "Ominis, Ominis, please, I'm begging you Ominis, please. Fuck I can never forget how you sounded." He groans.

"Be a good girl and do it again. Beg me to touch you." Your face flushes, a mixture of anger at him for bringing up that situation, embarrassment at his mockery, plus an overall heat radiating through your body at his confession and demand.

You don't give in at first, you need not be at two men's mercy, allowing two men to abuse your body in such a way. But Ominis' hand shoots out, wrapping around your throat, your breath catches, unable to successfully suck in another. "P-lease." The word is rough and broken. "Atta girl." His grip loosens and you suck in a greedy breath but he doesn't let go all the way, "Go on, love, beg."

"Please husband." Your tone is soft, low, testing the waters. Ominis says nothing. "Please, Ominis..." You debate, will you really lower yourself to this, begging your own husband to have sex with you? But he struck you, forced his cock down your throat without permission and you still stand here, aching to feel his long slender finger burry themselves inside you. You need it and you will grovel to get it.

"Please touch me, please husband, I'm burning up, I feel as though I will combust if you do not touch me soon. I need to feel you inside me, please Ominis." He moans, actually moans at your words alone and without missing a beat his hand is between your legs.

"Fuck." He groans, leaning in to nip at your neck, "You're so wet, pretty girl." He run a finger between your lips, gathering the fuilds with his fingers, bringing it back up to circle your clit. You buck at the contract, electricity coursing through your veins as his slender fingers circle delicately, the pace and pressure teasing.

"Is this what you want, wife?" You grab his hand, trying to force him to put more pressure, how you like it, how he knows you like it, what will make you come undone in a matter of minutes. But he only tsks at you catching your hand with his free one, pulling it away as he continues his teasing ministrations.

"Yes, husband, yes, please" You whine, moving to grip his shoulders for balance. At your surrender, Ominis moves his free hand back to your hips, holding you in place.

"Did you beg Sebastian like this?" He doesn't stop touching you, "Did he make you this wet?" The teasing is becoming too much, you really do feel like you'll combust, "Does he know how to touch you just the way you like?" His fingers adds more pressure, pace quicking and in mere moments you're putty in his arms. Body tensing and convulsing against him as his strength only is the only thing to keep you upright.

His free arm wraps protectively around your waist, his other collects your juices, giving one final swipe over your clit that makes you jump in hypersensitivity. He brings the his wet fingers to your mouth, forcing them in with little resistance. "Do you taste that, pretty girl?" You hum around him.

"I did that to you. Not Sebastian. Me, your husband. This," his arm slides from your waist down to your bottom, grabbing the flesh roughly, "is mine. You are mine." He pulls his fingers free of your mouth with a pop, a thin string of saliva still connecting you two.

Before you can prepare yourself, Ominis' hand is back between your legs, three fingers buried deep inside you, curling at that spongy spot that makes you jump, that spot he always knows how to hit.

"This." Another curl of his slender fingers, "is mine. Only I get to touch this, taste it. Do you understand, wife?" That sensations is building in the pit of your stomach for a second time, it's too much you think, you always stop after the first one, he never pushes you further. You try to shove at his chest, he doesn't budge, but it's more so that your arms are too weak to actually push.

"Who do you belong to, my love?" You're so close, you can feel your resolve snapping like an old rope, string by tedious string. He stopped when you don't respond and you cry out in protest, trying to rock your hips against his still fingers. "Who do you belong to?"

"You, Ominis, I belong to you, my husband, my beloved. Fuck, please, I'm so close, please Om" His pace is punishing and in all of three strokes you feel the coil snap, see white behind your. You hold onto Ominis, trying to ground yourself to this reality as his fingers continue, drawing out your orgasm.

You couldn't stand if you tried, couldn't move a single muscle. But Ominis isn't done with you yet, no, his plan is to break you. You are his, only his, today is the day you finally get that lesson through your thick skull. He picks you up, carrying you in his arms to your shared bed.

He lays you down and you give an appreciative moan, your bed is so soft, familiar and welcoming. It smells like him you realize in your haze, you've never stopped to notice how his scent clings to everything in this house. How his scent gives you a feeling of safety, of home.

Ominis lines himself up with your entrance while you aren't paying attention, half gone nuzzling your face into the comforter. You moan at the intrusion, a mix of pain and pleasure and total oversimulation. You screw your eyes shut, trying to adjust to him inside you.

"Over my dead fucking body." Ominis grabs your face, forcing you to look at him. "Keep your eyes open, I want you to watch me, look at my face as I fuck you. Remember who's cock it is that's inside you." You nod, or you think you did, your body is so heavy, so far out of your control. All that exists is the overwhelming pleasure and Ominis face.

Ominis, you watch as his jaw clenchs, his head falling into your chest before picking back up just so you can see him, his brows scrunch together in pleasure, his eyes screwing shut. His hold on your waist is brusing as his hips jut against yours. Once again your struck by how beautiful he his, how consumed he is by you. You feel that pride again. You make him feel like that, why has it taken you so long to see it.

You reach a hand up, just as his trusts become erratic, your own body falling in sync with his, you pulls his face down just just enough to let your lips meet his in a ghost of a kiss. You finish for the third time this morning just as you feel him shoot his load inside you, he pulls you up holding you tighter against him, burying his face in your chest as he rides out his orgasm.

You rest your head on top of his, running a near limp hand softly through his blonde hair. "I-" the word catches in your throat, "I love you, Ominis."

He pulls away at that, bringing you into a gentle kiss. "I knew you would. I knew it. That's why I had to get rid of Sebastian. My wife, my love, you're mine."

[writing-with-gremworm]

The Winter Duke

Notes:

Mentions of/implied abuse

Unhealthy relationship dynamic

Obsessive behavior

Yandere!Wriothesley

A little slow to start

The Duke of the North is a terrifying and cold figure. He is said to have slaughtered thousands and abandoned many to the monsters plaguing the snows. So it came as a surprise to you when he seemed like an ordinary guy during your first conversation.

"You must be (Y/N). I'm sorry you had to come here on such short notice, but I can assure you that this arranged marriage will not be permanent." The cold Duke states, motioning for me to sit down, "In the meantime, we have much to discuss. I don't expect your help for free."

"Ah, yes, that is only fair." Your voice quivers slightly. You were surprised he offered you such a deal. Generally speaking, you were seen as useless given what your power was. You had an affinity for minor mimicry. This meant you could make ice cubes after someone made a glacier, or a glass of water after someone made it rain. The power itself was weak, so it was dismissed. Especially since you came from a long line of saints. The (L/N) family were known as some of the greatest healers. Though how that healing was developed was a family secret and one that made you want to throw up when you thought about it. Your skin itches a bit at the thought.

"First, allow me to make a proper introduction. My name is Wriothesley, the Duke of North Fontaine."

"You've already gathered my name ... um, Rizzley."

"Wriothesley."

"Rizzley, what exactly do you expect of me? I know you seek the (L/N) name because of its ties to previous saints, do you seek a healer? If so, I can not help you." You state simply, looking at Wriothesley with a shakey gaze. Your heart was racing, he was said to be the coldest man in the empire, how could you not shiver?

"No, I already know you're the black sheep of your family. What I seek is your ability to move freely. I am confined to this place, as such, I need eyes. One who is as, and forgive me for this, generic as you will go unnoticed." You wince a bit and sigh. You were glad he wasn't going to kiss up to you because of your title, but it still stung to be told so blatantly you were boring.

"No, that's a fair assessment." You smile, Wriothesley's lips flatten more, but you don't notice, "But why can't you just leave? I know the social world has cast you in a ... less than positive light ... but you're not trapped here are you?"

"We'll discuss that when it becomes relevant. For now, just know I can not leave the North."

"... Cryptic. But okay. So, what will you offer me?" You swallow, looking at him with feigned courage. Your heart beat so quickly it felt like a hammer was bashing against the burdensome ribcage acting as a wall.

"If you help me, I will help you. This means you can ask for anything. A villa, money, even fame." Was he serious? You couldn't sense any change in tone, and he didn't put on a fake smile like your father did when he wanted something. Maybe you wanted to believe him. Maybe you should.

"Money ... sounds reasonable." You start, taking a shallow breath before continuing, "But you'll have to compensate me appropriately. Let's write a contract detailing what you want from me and what you think it's worth. I'll adjust it as needed to fit my conditions."

"... Alright. I can do that. Louis, escort Mx. (L/N) to their room." Wriothesley looks to his attendant and gestures toward me.

"Of course, Your Grace." Louis states with a polite smile, "Come with me Mx. (L/N)."

-- After the door closes Wriothesley smiles a bit before quickly covering his mouth.

"They're even better in person ... Ah, I hope you stay for a very long time (Y/N)" Wriothesley mutters to himself.

In truth, Wriothesley has been watching them for a long time. Fleur, his assistant, helped curate rumors to make the (L/N) family give in to his wishes. --

Louis opens the door to your room and you're surprised by its grandeur. It's a stark contrast to the attic you'd lived in before this. In the (L/N) family you aren't permitted to live in the second-floor rooms until you've awaked holy power. As you did not awaken said power, you were forced to remain in the attic. This attic was designed to test the limits of your body to encourage the propagation of holy power. Though, no matter how much you were tested, not a speck of holy light flowed through your fingertips.

Laying on the fluffy bed you close your eyes. If your bed had been like this, would you have been less tired? You don't know, but you can feel the exhaustion setting in. The distance between the Duke's estate and your own was several weeks without a magic portal. Given the prowess of both families, you only had to spend a few days on the road. The trip was still unpleasant. As part of the (L/N) tradition, you had to ride in the most frugal of carriages and fast daily.

"I'm scared." You admit, hugging your pillow tightly as your heartbeat lulls you to sleep. The familiar racing pace creates a frame to justify rest. After all, you already knew the pattern, it was too tiresome to punish someone half asleep, they never seemed to remember properly.

--

"So this is all?" You look at the contract, surprised it is so short.

"Yes, that is all. It is simple and to the point. I'm quite certain you'll be happy with the terms." Wriothesley states simply, leaning onto his hand as he glances over you. His silver eyes seem to pierce through you. You avert your gaze and quickly read the contract.

"So you wish for me to be your face?" This was troublesome. Your face in the social world was not well known, but your name was the current gossip of high society. Would you really be okay if you became his face? Surely Wriothesley, someone of Ducal status, already knew this. So why?

"That's ... one way to phrase it. Yes, as stated there, you'll be taking my place in socials and surveying the territory while I am still bound to my place." Wriothesley's expression shifts slightly, a hint of annoyance clouding his eyes before his gaze returns to a neutral state. You flinch without realizing it, it would be too much to ask him more now. It was safer to accept this.

"This ... is too much Mora. Besides, this contract doesn't detail the marriage aspect. I thought that was part of this." This much was reasonable, it didn't make you seem weak, and you could still get more information.

"The marriage is set to last until I'm no longer stuck in this place. I will write that down if you need."

"... Alright. I didn't realize you were the forgetful type. I thought that was my role." You write down that and alter the amount of Mora you'll receive before handing the document back to Wriothesley. You swear he smiles a little when you pass it over.

"Well, now that the contract is settled, I'll have Louis fill you in on your first task."

"Right, right, you're probably busy since you still have to do all of the paperwork." You nod and look over to Louis who has the same polite smile as yesterday. Besides, this was a great excuse to leave the room.

-- "Fleur, I have a task for you. Can you do some research into the secrets of the (L/N) family? Ah, and look into Transfer Relics." Wriothesley had a feeling his reports were missing something, while he liked this malleable version of (Y/N), they seemed different from what he'd been told.

"Transfer Relics- but aren't those only effective at moving curses?"

"Exactly." Fleur knew what that meant. She thought (Y/N) was fragile, a glass bird riddled with imperfections. Maybe that is why Wriothesley had taken an interest in them.

"... Understood, Your Grace." Fleur was sure now, Wriothesley's interest in (Y/N) would act as their cage, and she had no intention of saving them. At least in a cage, the glass might not break. --

"Eh? Wait, I have to attend the Royal Assembly? I guess that's why this marriage was so rushed." You mutter. You swallow nervously and place a hand to your chin. Your eyes dart to the nearest vase so you look preoccupied with thought.

"That is correct Mx. The Duke's family was required to go this time, however, as you can see, only Wriothesley remains of the main bloodline and until you, he had no spouse."

"Ah ... because of the rumors right?"

"Yes, I'm afraid so." Louis pulls out a handkerchief and wipes his eyes, "Ah, forgive me, I'm a little emotional. It's been so long since Wriothesley had someone to call family, however temporary this is." Something about the way he said it made you feel a little bad.

But, this was temporary, and you all knew that. Though, staying here for a while doesn't seem like a bad thing. At least you get to eat multiple times a day instead of just once. Your bed was soft too, it felt much warmer than the firm attic one at the (L/N) residence.

--

Attending Empress Furina's Assembly is something you never expected to do. Your oldest sister and father attended regularly, but you were never qualified to attend. Even now, you were taking Wriothesley's place, so it felt like you didn't belong. You may have accepted it with open arms, but the doubts you had were so loud. They screamed at you, tearing at your hair and reminding you of what happens when you don't listen.

You make it to the assembly room before your mind traps you in the background. You hear your name announced, but you can't even move your lips.

You try to step out of your head, but something drags you back in. The tendrils of cold and hot wrap around your body and remind you of the torn flesh and the inability to breathe. You try to scream, but nothing comes out. You try to look around, but the only colours surrounding you are black and red. They cover your vision and the red creeps outward. You finally move your hands, only to see them covered in a deep crimson that has started to flake.

"Mx. Are you alright?" A cool voice cuts through the screaming silence.

"A-Ah ..." Your mouth opens, but only weak sounds escape it.

"My liege, I'll escort this guest to a rest chamber, please continue the tea ceremony without us." The man with silver hair tells Empress Furina calmly. The blue streaks reminded you of the water, or maybe of a dragon's horns. Your eyes widen when you realize who is escorting you away from the Royal Assembly.

"Justice Neuvillette ... You need not have left to escort me ... but I ... thank you. I am in no place to berate you for attending to my needs. That would be rude." Your throat hurts, but at least the words seem to sound normal, maybe no one would be able to tell you'd just frozen up. Unfortunately, your legs and hands were shaking noticeably, so it was clear you shouldn't be left alone. The red still faintly overlaid your fingers, it made you want to puke.

You look at your hand and notice Neuvillette holding it. Maybe he thought you wouldn't be able to follow along without guidance. It was sweet in its own right. Neuvillette, too, had a reputation that preceded him so this gentle side was new. Maybe that difference made you feel a sense of calm.

"Think nothing of it. I simply wanted to help my friend's spouse." Neuvillette dismisses it with amusement colouring his words.

"Did you two bond over scary reputations-" You start before covering your mouth with your free hand. Why did your tongue move so freely with this man?

"No, though said rumors are one thing we seem to have in common. If that were a tell, then you'd be my friend too, no?"

"Huh? But I- don't have much of a reputation, do I? As the black sheep maybe, but nothing more."

"Ah, I suppose you're not aware of the other rumors. Then pay me no mind, if such things have not tainted your ears, it is better to leave it here." Neuvillette states, clearing his throat and opening the door for you to step inside the resting area. You furrow your brow.

"But if it is about me, then shouldn't I be aware?"

"Some things are better left unknown. Though, if you wish to know, I will ask you something first. Why weren't your sister and Father with us at the assembly Today?" You look surprised. You hadn't had time to register anyone's faces, just the flood of anxiety that threatened to eat you alive.

"I ..." You start, but you realize quickly your answer wouldn't have made sense. You could have suggested they were both ill or otherwise wished to avoid you, but in public, they always pretended to adore you and they were healers who had excellent natural constitutions, "Someone prevented them from being here today."

"... In a sense, they were prevented from being able to attend," Neuvillette confirms, though his phrasing concerns you a bit.

"I ... see. What does this have to do with the rumors?" You ask pointedly.

"They imply that you're the person who ... barred the attendance of your family." Neuvillette pauses in the middle, clearly thinking about something else before deciding on this phrasing.

"But it doesn't make sense for them to avoid me ..."

"Regardless, you should take a seat and breathe. I'll return to the assembly if you do not wish for me to stay."

"I'll be fine. Thank you." You say certain that you could find your way back when you were sure you were okay.

--

"Fleur, you've done exceptionally this time. The (L/N) family was keeping this sort of thing, hm? Well, I suppose as a family of healers, it's only right they once held something so precious." Wriothesley smiles, his lips forming a tight curve as he holds a glowing sphere.

"Your Grace, this has caused rumors to spread about your spouse. Should I handle those?"

"... No, rather, we should use them to our advantage, no?" Rumors are what brought them here, so rumors would bring them closer.

"Understood."

--

"I apologize for earlier, your highness." You bow before Furina once you get a chance to speak with her.

"Hm, well I suppose you should. It's only right." Furina starts before Neuvillette clears his throat quietly, "Ahem, I graciously accept your apology! But to make up for this transgression, you must attend my next Tea Party!" Furina insists, throwing her hand out to point at me. You blink, a little surprised this is the only reprimand someone of her stature is giving you.

In the (L/N) household you had to isolate and pray for several days for your wrongs, especially with something of this caliber. Your knees start to tense up, and your calves pulse with phantom pain at the thought of it. You notice Furina's gaze and realize you haven't responded.

"Oh- yes, of course, Your Highness." You promptly reply with a polite smile. Neuvillette notices something in your demeanor that concerns him. Perhaps, he thought, Wriothesley's words were correct.

--

Wriothesley was displeased when he heard (Y/N) was invited back to the palace. He was well aware of why, (Y/N) was his spouse, so they should stay nearer to him, but it wasn't time to let them see that side of him. After all, wouldn't they run away? There were moments, little flickers of their gaze, a slight alteration in the way they breathed, a change in stance, or even something they forgot in their routine that told him they were afraid of something, but their smile remained.

He recognized that smile, it was something he had grown tired of using. The mask to deter those who would pray on sorrow. It was the mask someone deeply hurt would use. It was the reason he'd orchestrated the death of the (L/N) family.

"They need me. They need my hand." He mutters. Wriothesley closes his eyes and imagines holding their fragile body in his arms. In this fantasy, one hand was on their fragile neck, the other wrapped around their waist. He imagined how warm they would feel in his arms, how delicate their lips would look as they trembled. His breath hitched as he thought about kissing them, taking their soft lips with his own. The petal-like touch and spring warmth would surely be addicting. He knew, of course, that he was the one who needed them most. Though, he didn't understand how he'd come to adore this fragile being.

Wriothesley opened his eyes and peered at the artifact. He smiled, knowing it was almost time to put it to use.

--

The day you were to attend Furina's Tea Party approached more quickly than you imagined. You sigh as you look out the window. You wondered if it would be like last time- if you would freeze in place and be unable to speak. Your fingers trembled, so you gripped your dress clothes tightly.

The carriage rattles and thrusts you against its door. You take a moment to reorient yourself before you see the window is looking up into the sky, not the treeline. Your carriage had fallen over.

"Assassins." You mutter. You knew some hated you, but you never thought it was to the point they'd want you dead. Though, did you mind? Before this, hadn't you wished for death?

"I need someone as my eyes and ears." But you were needed now. Even so, was it a position only you could fill? Surely not.

"Found you~ Now, why don't you let your Godfather take you home, hm?" A strange and yet familiar voice coos, accompanied by sullied blue hair and a crow-like mask.

"Godfather- then- Father has died?" You ask, looking at the man, confused. You're not sure if he heard you. Your throat feels stuffy, so the volume of your words is minimal.

"Yep! You have no idea how long I've waited. So, (Y/N), will you come with me willingly? You have nothing to lose, do you?" The man, claiming to be your godfather, whispers cruelly. Your hands shook, and his grin seemed to widen. Did your fear excite him? Who was this? It hit you. This was the 'God' that Father prayed to. But he was no God, not really. His essence was too cruel to be the benevolent God Father claimed to love.

"Y-Your name." You stutter.

"Hm? Well, I suppose I can tell you that, under the pretense, I get to know something from you first. Tell me, (Y/N), what do you think I am?" Did he know what you were thinking? Could he read your face? You didn't know, but your mouth refused to move. His presence felt like a thick ooze, sinking and slipping over your skin, entangling your flesh and clothes in its putrid fluidity.

"I asked a question. Do I need to ask again?" His hand touched your chin, his skin freezing to the touch.

"A false God." You manage. Though you hadn't intended to be so honest.

"A false God? Hahaha! Good, then you don't expect me to be gentle. I am Il Dottore." The man smiled widely, his sharp, shark-like teeth catching light on the edges as shadow cascaded over his face and mask. You press your back against the carriage door instinctually, your body shaking. Why did that scare you? Why did that name sound so familiar? It wasn't the name of a God, no, it was the title of something far worse, far more mortal.

"The Wings of Revolution-"

"Oh? You know of us? Well, that makes it easier." Dottore grabs your wrist and pulls you out of the carriage, "Ah, minor mimicry, what a fascinating skill. I'm excited to learn all about it."

Just like that, it felt like your world was being consumed. How would you escape this? You were frozen in place. A stream of water replaces the spot Dottore's head used to be.

"It looks like I got here on time. I'll escort you back to the Wriothesley Estate. I'm afraid it would be too dangerous to finish the journey to the palace." Neuvillette states with a sigh, "Worry not about Furina, I will discuss this with her." You nod without thinking and look down at the headless body in front of you. Instead of viscera, you notice wood.

"It wasn't ... him ... Then what was that ominous feeling?"

"... Yes, it was Puppet Magic. The real culprit remains intact." Neuvillette confirms your suspicions in an instant. Puppet magic is well known as cruel magic. It is a manipulation of the soul and body. That magic is most commonly used like this, as an extension of the creator's will. In this case, it was a doll made to host a piece of the soul and memory of the creator. Of course, this likely means that the creator knows what happened here since those memories return once the exterior unit is destroyed.

"Then he will come back ..." You realize, your gaze blurring as a rush of nausea grasps your neck and stomach.

"I can not deny that. However, I can assure you that Wriothesley, within his Domain, will stand by you." Neuvillette tries to comfort you. He sounds so sure. You want to believe him. But is it safe? Puppet Master's manipulate the soul. His strangely soothing presence could be a result of that. You nod quietly. Did you have anywhere to go? You had no friends, your family wasn't an option, and Wriothesley was the only one with his arms open to you. Did you have a choice?

Yes. You told yourself. Of course, I have a choice. It's just a bad one. Truthfully, you only had one choice to survive. Despite your prior thoughts on the matter you weren't willing to actively choose demise, it had to take you itself.

--

"... I have a way to guarantee your safety, but it means giving up your freedom," Wriothesley tells you. His voice is softer than usual, and his eyes look tired. You falter.

"That is the only way. That is what you mean." You mutter, biting your lip. Did you have freedom? Was that a right you felt was worth the risk? You close your eyes and think. The creeping shadows and cold touch creep through your thoughts, scrapping at your mind and digging into you. You stop breathing for a moment before opening your eyes. The world is slightly blurred and you feel unsteady. You came to a decision. Wriothesley was generous compared to his rumors. You knew that the safest option was to be near him in this house. It still felt suffocating, but you knew it was the right choice.

"I'm sorry that this is the choice I can offer you. A binding to this place." What you didn't know was that Wriothesley's heart was racing. His lips had shifted into a subtle smile covered by a thoughtful cup of tea.

"I ... accept. So tell me what to do." Your voice shakes despite your wishes to sound confident. Wriothesley doesn't comment on this, instead he asks you to close your eyes and hold out your hand. There was no other option, so you did as he said. It was only when the whispers of a curse settled in that you understood what he had done. He had given you the same curse he bears. This curse was cold, like steel cuffs clinging to your wrists.

"Don't cry, I'll protect you." Were you crying? The hot tears fall down your cheeks, falling pleasantly into the hungry carpet beneath you. Wriothesley sounds happier than normal, but maybe you're mistaking his kind consolation as something more. He offered you a hug, a gesture you were not well acquainted with. Maybe that is what drew you to it, why you accept his arms so willingly around your smaller frame. His breath tickles your ear as he whispers gentle consolation. His breath feels strangely cold, but not unpleasant.

"I will make sure no one takes you away carelessly." His words were surely meant to be sweet. You knew he was trying to be kind. You just felt a strange sense of sickness twist in your stomach.

...

...

--

"I don't take kindly to false promises Wriothesley."

"I did not lie, you have done well to aid me. In return, here are the artifacts you wanted. You may do as you please with them according to our deal."

"I'm sure you'll need my help again soon. You know how to contact me."

"Of course, Doctor, I hope you weren't too bored. You even sent a puppet alone."

"Minor Mimicry. You know that 'minor' mimicry doesn't exist don't you?"

"Of course I do."

...

...

[voyaging-too]

2024 December Media

Recs bolded.

Books:

Sheri S. Tepper: Grass. Gorgeous sci-fi about Catholicism, plague, monks, weird creatures, complex space aristocracy social dynamics slightly reminiscent of Barrayar but worse, and a lot of horses. The protagonist is a middle-aged Olympic equestrian lady.

Cornelia Funke: Herr der Diebe (The Thief Lord). I'm practicing my German! This is a great middle grade book about orphan kids running around Venice, the atmosphere of the city is so vivid it covers up the occasional plot hole.

Robert Musil: The Man Without Qualities (vol. I). This book is somehow both boring and terrifying. It's set just before WW1, but the protagonists don't know that, and so they keep having long-winded conversations about how nothing ever happens.

Han Kang: Human Acts. A short, visceral, painful book about the 1980 Gwangju Uprising, and the people, (civilians (children)) who were killed in it. Fiction, heavily based on non-fiction historical research.

Mercedes Lackey: Magic's Price (Last Herald Mage III). The previous two books in this fantasy trilogy weren't good either, but they were at least fun. This one wasn't.

Vivian Shaw: Bitter Waters (Greta Helsing 3.5). Sweet, beautifully written, ultimately plotless addition to the series.

vol 1. of that weird Stalin-era world literature anthology I impulse bought at the second-hand bookstore and am occasionally reading on the toilet to stop myself from doomscrolling.

Films:

Louis Theroux: Tell Them You Love Me. A masterful, disturbing documentary of the Anna Stubblefield case. Trigger warning for... everything, but especially rape, ableism, and horrible people genuinely believing they're in the right.

John Palfreman: Frontline. Prisoners of Silence. After watching the documentary above, I got obsessed with the failure of facilitated communication, and had to watch this one-hour documentary on it. It's thirty years old, so expect some not-so-great language on autism, but the overall points stand.

Kenji Kamiyama: The War of the Rohirrim. Anime vaguely based on Rohan lore in the LOTR appendix. Weak writing, meh plot, middling animation, transparently desperate attempts to recapture the glory of the original trilogy, the only saving grave was Olwyn and her capacity to pass the Bechdel test.

Starkid: Working Boys. Fun short film about Prof Hidgens trying to stage a musical, set in the Hatchetfield universe. Multiverse? Idk anymore.

Podcasts:

Jo Walton, Ada Palmer: Ex Urbe Ad Astra. Two brilliant writers talk about history and fiction, sometimes with guests. They never talk down to the audience and that feels amazing, even when I don't get what they mean at all.

Friends at the Table: Live at the Table. The FaaT gang plays a whole bunch of one-offs and short campaigns. They try a dozen different TTRPGs in a dozen different settings, not all of them work equally well, but sometimes you can listen to them create the best wordbuilding out of thin air.

Gabriel Urbina: Wolf 359 (season 2). Captain Lovelace arrives, space comedy is now officially a space dramedy. Still works well on relisten.

Shelved by Genre: Last Herald Mage unit. These guys are a great read-along book podcast, even when they are reading a book I hate, because they dissect it in really interesting ways.

Gabriel Urbina: Dracula. The Danse Macabre. I'm conflicted, this adaptation of Dracula has tons of great ideas, but they don't gel. The condensed plot isn't really intelligible unless you've read the original novel and know it pretty well, but if you know the novel that well, the arbitrary changes are far more likely to annoy you.

Theatre

Starkids: VHS Christmas Carols. (online ticket) An eighties-style musical adaptation of The Gift of the Magi, The Little Match Girl and The Christmas Carol. Takes itself surprisingly seriously for how funny it is. May be the second best adaptation of Christmas Carol out there.

Sándor Zsótér: Bertolt Brecht: Round Heads and Pointed Heads. A gorgeous studio production of one of Brecht's lesser-known plays. There's no point in me recommending this, because there's no way you guys can come here and watch it, but it was legitimately one of the funniest, most moving, most upsetting things I've seen this decade.

[rise-my-angel]

It makes me so sad and annoyed people seem to think guys can’t be sweethearts and also have passionate sex like…HAVE YOU NEVER BEEN WITH A MAN these are humans, living beings who are capable of multiple emotions and idk what show they’ve been watching or book they’ve been reading but robb and jon are very intense emotional characters…you think they are vanilla subs? NOOO that is not to say they can’t act all soppy but again not mutually exclusive, they can be total simps and still be beasts with their cocks…

the wolfish kings of the north who are devoted to their wife to the point of near obsession are not going to be giving “sex for procreation” stannis energy…LIKE YESSS MY KING POUND ME TO THE POINT OF EXHAUSTION

Its just very frustrating. My Robb and Jon smut is something I'm very proud of because of how much characterization I get through during those scenes, and a lot of the time I just get asks about why I can't write them as nicer.

Like, in hotgw, I cant possibly make Robb any sweeter. His entire marriage to reader outside of the bedroom is nothing but gentle and loving and close. I make it clear, sex is an outlet for two very stressed out people leading a war. In the show, Talisa doesnt have that stress. She doesnt engage in this war beyond being Robbs wife. In hotgw, reader is an active participant in war and has a lot of her own personal stakes in fighting it as well beside Robb. They have a lot of stress on them and the bedroom is an outlet for them to let that stress out sexually, so that the rest of their marriage is gentle.

Robb relfcted many times that he wishes he could be back in Winterfell and have a proper relationship with you. Indicating this isn't what he wants your whole marriage to be. He wants to be softer and gentle in bed, but you both need an outlet and sex is an agreed, healthy and consensual way to let that stress out. If Robb wasn't actually sweet on her, she wouldn't fall asleep with him pulling her into his arms after every time they have sex. I feel like the scene she tells him shes pregnant is proof of how sweet and gentle he really is.

As for Jon, I dont know what people want. Hes a ressurected man with a significant amount of trauma, some of it, sexual trauma of his own. I've made it clear his connection to the reader is deeper then love, because they are literally bonded by blood magic. I write so much smut of him, because sex is where you can truly see that dynamic play out. Jon is not a very talkative man, you feel his heart through his actions, and a man with that much darkness and trauama in him will not always be slow and gentle with expressing how he feels.

I dont expect everyone to like how rough or dominant I make these characters, but Its very demoralizing to constantly be asked why I can't make them nicer or sweeter when its like, I cant write a version of these characters that dont exist. Thats not what my series is for.

Its just...it's very...it doesnt feel good to constantly be questioned why I can't just write more gentle smut, when it feels like some of these people haven't actually read a lot of it and are just making assumptions that in my smut, rough = mean, when thats not the case.

[randomfoggytiger]

I am stuck on something right now and you are a meta queen and I did read this and I haven't watched IWTB in over 15 years and you have so I'm hoping you can help me out. I was so angry and disappointed when the film came out because so much of what you wrote about in your analysis. However, my delicate little shipper heart didn't clock their fight as a break up. And I'm wondering if I missed something or if it's a case of the revival breakup got retrospectively applied to IWTB. I know she says she's not coming home but I took that as she wouldn't be coming home until the case was done. I could watch for myself I suppose but honestly I just can't and it's driving me kind of crazy.

tldr: Yes, it was permanent; but DD and GA can't (read: won't) act "permanent", and thus break the immersion.

CC, in my opinion, has two modes when "breaking up" his characters:

The implied rift: One Son is the perfect example. Scully lays down her boundaries, stating that if Mulder doesn't trust her the partnership (read: relationship) won't work. She walks off, leaving the choice up to him. Yet, when she finds a lead, she calls him and expects him to immediately jump on board. Moreover, he isn't surprised that she calls, only that she is going off on her own with or without his help. Ultimatums have been given but no break has occurred.

The permanent rift: IWTB and pre-Revival fall into this category. Scully separates from Mulder because he pursues the Truth above their (read: her) relationship needs. She leaves, sleeps elsewhere; and in the Revival had no intentions of going back. Why the break is also permanent in IWTB is because Scully knows Mulder will put the truth above her; meaning, he will choose the case, enforcing her decision to leave.

Why break it only to put it back together? Because CC loves being the puppet master, the man behind the curtain: creating disaster and watching his audience clutch their chests in horror before knitting everything back together better than before. Scully and Mulder have to believe it's over in order for his writing to work; and if you peek at the scripts without the natural charm of DD and GA's dynamic, Mulder and Scully do seriously believe it's over.

But yet, the characters don't... seem to believe it's over, even when the script and dialogue are enforcing that fact.

Acting in nuances have been DD and GA's M.O. since Season 1; and what's on the page often doesn't come across as permanent or life-altering when the two act it out on the screen. But that doesn't mean it wasn't intended: the rest of IWTB falls in the same lines, David and Gillian often spout lines with completely different body language than their words imply, creating a disconnect that lightens rather than elevates the script material.

In short: DD and GA more often than not act their lines in such a way that nothing feels permanent; but if you read the scripts or listen to the lines devoid of their mannerisms and interplay, it becomes obvious IWTB was supposed to be about conquering fears and reknitting them back from the chasm: Mulder's obsession and Scully's fear, sure, but most importantly, their broken and (*gasp*) irrecoverable relationship.

Thanks for dropping in~! :DDDD

In short short, whenever I hear others say the rift wasn't permanent... yeah. It does come across that way because of the actors involved, what they believe Mulder and Scully stand for, and how they execute the material together. But CC did/does intend for things to be "over", affording him the opportunity to make it "right." (Not a bad thing... but a frustrating one if carried out incorrectly.)

[enneamage]

I would like to revisit your stance on Wilbur having NPD. It has never quite sit right with me and now I think I can verbalize why. I think he actually has AvPD. There are a number of similarities between the two in how they manifest, but also some clear divergences. He does not like to celebrate his birthday. He once talked about how he wanted people to watch and enjoy his content but, when he wasn't streaming, to not think about him. These things are antithetical to what a narcissist would say and do and, I would think, would exclude being labeled as such. I will admit that putting himself in front of an audience does not sound like someone who is avoidant, but he does so with the requirement that he is the person with the most control of the situation. He has written the script or lyrics. He is the person in charge. It is only with that dynamic that he feels any level of comfort to be able to be ok with all of those eyes on him. Having control in that manner isn't about having power over others, which is the narcissist's MO. It is making sure no one else has power over you. That is the avoidant's MO. I am curious if you have seen something that excludes him from a AvPD diagnosis.

I don't think that we could split those things into an either-or binary, cleanly splitting one from the other. His sensitivity is a major part of why he acts the way he does, regardless. The short version is that the needing control, the wanting control and what he's compelled to do to get control wouldn't be out of place in an NPD diagnosis, it's just a matter of framing. His tolerance for social situations can hinge on how much control he can get, and maybe he experiences that as trying to find his footing in front of people so he doesn't feel so easily undermined, but that need is so deep it can make him impulsive, and things can snowball from there. 

I want to meet you in the middle here-- at the end of the day, the map is not the territory. Nearly any model we work with is flawed when it comes to figuring out One Specific Guy, because it sounds like we agree on the key points when it comes to observing him and just disagree about what 'models' would best fit them. Beyond a certain point I would be talking about definitions of NPD more than what's going on with him in particular, which isn't as useful. 

When I first really went in with NPD truthing, the point I had in mind was "this man isn't neurotypical, and it will be a mistake to expect him to act like he is." Since that time, he has had habits and compulsions that have messed with his decision making and interpersonal relationships. I'm not obsessed with him being lower-n 'narcissistic' as much as him having the uneven behavior of someone who has the thought patterns you just mentioned.

[fleur1005]

YiZhan fandom interviews!! 003 @OldObsess/overthinkingthis

I am so thankful that not only she accepted this interview, but accepted it with eagerness! 🙏 I was actually very excited about finally being able to talk to her because one of my first fics I read in this fandom was hers (and is my favorite to this day) and it was rec’ed by none other than Ren 😆 Now you can imagine what fic that is lol, but I digress. So without much ado… here’s Tee, aka @OldObsess!!!

▪️ Please, tell us about yourself. How you like to be called or how you go by in this fandom and how long you’ve been in the swamp.

i respond to a lot of names in this fandom, it's all good. on twitter, i'm @oldobsess... if i could do it again, i'd probably pick a new handle, but i had never used twitter before this fandom, so didn't know what i was doing! my first screen name was "too old to obsess over 💚❤️" and then sometime later i decided that there was no shame in being an older fan, so i changed it to "never too old to obsess over 💚❤️" 😂

on ao3, i'm "overthinkingthis" — i deliberately picked a different handle entirely because i had never read or written fics before, and wanted to keep my fic activities separate, like a secret side thing. that did not last long. again, shedding the shame!

on tumblr i'm "overthinkingyizhan" but i'm new to tumblr so there's not a lot going on there yet.

fandom friends also call me tee, and that works too!

how long have i been in the swamp? i watched cql in march 2020... my family watched it first, and i had no interest in watching with them until i saw xz's face. i literally asked, "why is that man so beautiful???" i watched the entire series twice, read mdzs a couple of times, and then one day i was listening to wuji and thought, "are the actors singing this as a duet?" i googled them, was horrified by 227, amazed by yibo's dancing, and then started mainlining the official bts and all the fan analysis videos on youtube. i was so charmed by how happy they looked together, but i'd never shipped anyone in my life before, so wasn't sure what to make of all the shippy stuff. i came to yizhan twitter in april 2020 to find out what happened to them after weibo night (aka "divorce night"). what finally threw me into the pit was seeing video of yibo looking teary in a ddu clip from the first taping after 227... i remember thinking, "oh my god, he really loves him."

wow, i'm rambling. let me let you ask your questions!

Ooh, I’m loving your story…! You could keep going and I can keep listening/reading it… 🥹🥹🥹

So it was the first time you shipped someone???

yes, this is my first and only fandom! i was very lucky to find really good friends in the fandom when i came to twitter, and they have been such good guides. that's one of the reasons i love what you're doing with this project (and i very much vibe with your "omg how can i organize all this information" panic because that's how i ended up on ao3!) i could go on, but let me answer your next question:

▪️ Where are you most active/ favorite place to dabble in fandom-wise? (Twt, tumblr, ao3, pixive, privetter, etc)

i'm most active on twitter as @oldobsess… i've posted more works on ao3 than i ever expected to, and i have a tumblr that i hope to use to archive more of my collected fandom candy if i ever find the time

▪️ I’ve also been very fortunate to be in friendly fandoms, but being this your first, were you surprised by the toxic side of it when you found out?

yes! i mean, because i learned about 227 right away (it had just happened when i started watching cql in march 2020), i learned about antis very early on. i don't really understand why anyone takes the time to hate a character or celebrity when they can spend that time on the character or celebrity they love, but sadly, i know now that there are people who do that in every fandom.

i was also very surprised that dynamics is a thing some people get very worked up about, especially with an rpf ship where no one has any idea what people do in private. i've tried to be more mindful about it now that i know it's a thing, but i wish everyone could assume more positive intent when it comes to this particular topic. personally, if i see or read something that isn't my thing, i don't stop to comment and i don't like to do callouts in public. (that's what private chats with friends are for!) instead, i scroll on by or use the back button. i don't like to give fandom wank more exposure by posting about it publicly. there's enough negativity in the world as it is — i don't need to add to it!

i'm also aware that as an rpf shipper, i have to be careful about where i do my screaming. i don't do it on posts by official accounts (whether in comments or qrts). also, i follow a fair number of solo accounts because we share a love for either xiao zhan or yibo, but i am careful not to say shippy things on their posts... i think that's basic courtesy, because they're entitled to do fandom the way they like. if i don't like the way they do it, i scroll by or i can block if it's really something i don't want to see. some solos block me, and i prefer they do that than to say unkind things to me.

basically, i try to follow the golden rule... how would i feel if something said X to me? i feel like i've had a relatively drama-free fandom experience by following these guidelines. fandom should be fun, so as long as you're not hurting anyone, you do you!

I very much share the same opinion about how to handle 🐜.

Now that you bring up the topic about the dynamics, I think it’s a cultural thing b/w Asian countries and Western countries. They simply have different backgrounds of how they came to be and have very different view points. They can’t really be compared. But I still love both styles.

▪️ What was your first motivation to start writing/ drawing about them?

before this fandom, i never read or wrote fic! and i had no idea rpf was a thing! to be honest, i was a little weirded out by the idea of reading or writing fic about real people. 🙈 but then after spending hours chatting about ggdd candy with my first fandom friends, i felt completely overwhelmed by the need to organize everything they were sharing with me. (also remember that the pandemic lockdown had just begun, so i was going a little stir crazy and needed something to do with all my restless energy.)

one night, we were musing over when ggdd might have first gotten together, and one of my friends told me that a significant minority of cbxg (chinese ggdd shippers) believe they got together BEFORE cql. i demanded to know more about this theory, and after countless hours of drowning in candy from 2017, i decided i had to write a fic with this alternate timeline or i would lose my mind.

i opened an ao3 account and started posting "we are made to love" in june 2020. https://archiveofourown.org/works/24669283/chapters/59612737 i had no idea what i was doing! i just wanted to write something about all the candy for myself and to amuse the three fandom friends i had then. 😂 but then what started out as "maybe i'll write 15k on this, 20k tops" turned into a 20-chapter, 83k work that took me six months to post in full.

i swore all along that i would write that one fic to get it all out of my system, and then never write again, but that did not happen. these two beautiful and talented individuals are just too inspiring! i've created or co-created over 50 works since then, but wamtl is still my best-known work.

sorry, these responses are just so long! renren was so much more succinct... please feel free to tell me to shut up hahah

No, I won’t cos I’m enjoying this way too much myself 🤭

▪️ How many fics/ fan arts have you written/ drawn so far? Which one is the one that you’re most fond of and why?

i've written 45 fics (including two drabbles that i drew art for, and one anonymous work). i co-wrote an additional eight fics with friends. i also posted two works (a recipe and a knitting pattern) that were part of an art/fic collab that i did with some creative fandom friends.

i don't know how to answer this question (about what fic i’m most fond of)! i've been asked before, and my answer changes all the time. it depends on my mood, and also on what it means to be fond of a work. sometimes a fic is bound up in the feelings i had when i wrote it, or who i was writing it with or for. if you asked me what fic of mine i would most want to reread, that would also depend on my mood. do i want to laugh or cry?

i am really fond of "talk to me," which is the fic i HAD to write after i saw an article about a japanese man who rented himself out as a "rental-san" to keep lonely people company... i was absolutely seized with the idea of writing yibo as a "rental-ge," hired by xiao zhan to listen to him talk about a boyfriend who keeps breaking his heart. it's also a wholesome t-rated fic, and soft getting-together fics are really my jam.

i'm also very fond of "lying in the dark (no sunshine)," which is my angsty break-up/make-up fic. it's based on the movie "eternal sunshine of the spotless mind," which is one of my favorite movies. i am also in love with the concepts of memory and forgetting, and this fic is a long meditation on those themes.

i'm really cheating now, but i am super fond of my tattoo and tentacle aus ("under my skin" and "wrapped up in you" ) because i wrote them with and for dear fandom friends, and so both were so much fun to write. when i re-read them, i think of these friends, and the warm feelings i have for this fandom.

Ooh, I’m glad you mentioned “Wrapped Up in You” cos it’s been one of my first fics I read when I came into this fandom and was rec’ed by none other than Ren and it’s one of my fave fics for so many reasons! 😆😆😆

*screaming* i cannot believe that you joined this fandom and read TENTACLES right off the bat 😂😂😂 i love that! 🐙

▪️ What’s your favorite trope to write/draw or a new one that you want to try this year?

"established relationship" is my most common "additional tag" for my fics! i just adore writing yizhan all soft and secure with each other, even if they're sharing insecurities or bickering. to me, they fit together like puzzle pieces, so no matter what i put them through in the story, when i get to the parts where they're settled and happy, with all the trust and fondness that comes with that, the writing feels effortless.

among the projects i want to finish these year is a getting-together rom-com, a sci-fi au, and a fairy tale! occasionally i think about writing more "canon" fics based on real-life candy that they throw out there, but i also feel like i've written so many of them already, and i have a lot of other ideas i'd like to try to write.

oh, i should say, since this is supposed to be a guide for baby 🐢, i've dumped a ton of links to candy in the endnotes to a lot of my fics, especially wamtl and the fics in the "extra chapters" series. since i started writing fics as a way to organize my thoughts and the fandom candy, i actually do continue to revise the endnotes as i come across new sources (and if links go dead, i try to fix them). ideally, i would post all these links to tumblr so people don't have to go to my fics to find the links, but there are only so many hours in a day!

Wow, I’m amazed at how organized and prolific you are!

▪️ Are you bjyx, zsww or lsfy? Is this dynamic important to you?

i would say i am lsfy. i do not care about who does what physical act. i do care about characterization, and to me, that is completely separate from how the characters have sex. if a fic is written well, and the way yizhan is written feels real to me, i don't care how they have sex (or if they do at all).

one of the things i've really enjoyed about writing yizhan fics is that because they are both men, i don't worry about gender baggage the way i might if i were writing a m/f fic. i have the freedom to flip things around to fit the story and i don't spend emotional energy worrying whether having a character cook, cry, or apologize — or bottom — is gender-coded. honestly, i spend enough time irl worrying about race and gender, so i like that these are not issues i need to think about when i write yizhan.

so yeah, at this point, i have written all possible dynamics (and with tentacles, you really can do everything, everywhere, all at once 😂)!

i do try to tag my fics for dynamics (the actual sex act, not for vibes or characterization) so that people who *do* care can find what they want to read. i'd rather that someone who cares a lot about such things is able to avoid reading a fic of mine that doesn't suit their tastes so they don't feel compelled to write me a nasty note (also, readers, don't do this. there's a back button for when that happens).

That seems to be a very important issue in this fandom, they even have names for each dynamic. That a first for me and it was another thing that surprised me as a new 🐢.

▪️ What’s your most fave 🍬? Have you written about it? Where do you get your 🍬 sources?

i don't know if i can pick a favorite candy! like renren, i love the tattoo cpn, and so i wrote an entire fic about them having tattoos ("under my skin," in which xiao zhan is a tattoo artist and yibo is an idol who meets xiao zhan and suddenly wants to be inked all over his body haha).

i am fascinated with kadian, which is a kind of number language that's popular in china. i honestly thought it sounded far-fetched the first time i was introduced to it, but over the course of the years i've been in this fandom, i've seen enough evidence to know that kadian is real and yizhan use it (for example, 520 means "i love you" because the chinese numbers read out loud (wo ai ni) are a homophone for 我爱你, or "i love you" — may 20 (5/20) is a nationally-recognized couple's day in china for that reason)... yizhan (and all of their endorsements) post at 8:05 or 10:05 frequently because those timestamps represent their birthdays. there are many examples of different codes in wide use in china that have shown up in yizhan's various socmed posts... and there there are all the 18s (一八 sounds like yibo) and 3s (三 sounds like zhan).

i do incorporate kadian in nearly all of my fics in some way (and there's a whole chapter about it in wamtl), often because i’ll have yizhan post not-so-secret kadian messages to each other over weibo and oasis.

i even embed kadian codes into the word counts for nearly all of my fics, i'm that obsessed.

twitter followers know i post about kadian a lot too!

my first fandom friends have been such excellent sources of candy... @ShirasagiS @VenOceanofStars were the ones who spent hours talking to me about the candy that cbxgs had unearthed when i was writing my first fic. they helped me so much with translations (translation from chinese can be so difficult, especially when it's xiao zhan who's posting... he loves the word play and can get very literary in his wording).

other good accounts to follow to stay on top of weibo/oasis posts, endorsements, past appearances and such are @wxyzybxz @bjyxiaos @bjyxnoa @sunhuas

i also follow some solo accounts... although they don't *intentionally* deliver candy, they always have great content about xiao zhan and yibo.

candy also comes my way through chats with friends!

i'm not on tumblr much, but i like UntamedConnotations and AccioVictuuri for roundups of candy that aren't captured as well in tweets

Wow, thank you for sharing with us so generously your sources! I for one am very grateful cos I didn’t know several of them.

▪️ Open topic: hot/latest topic of the boys and/or fandom.

the latest hot topic!? i think it has to be yibo's new song, his performance, and his many, many posts about them! it's ticking all the boxes for me... a GORGEOUS, heartbreaking song, a beautiful and emotional performance, and a tidal wave of posts about it, with kadian, possibly hidden messages, and yibo looking incredibly handsome.

just today, he posted pictures of himself in a hoodie with a rainbow logo and his ever-present 🦴 necklace, and combined with a song and performance that already feels like yibo baring his soul in a way we haven't seen before, it's just SO MUCH and i am just in awe of how comfortable he is in his skin, how unapologetic he is about who he is... and how safe and secure he must feel to be able to shout all this out. i realize i could be completely deluded, and that none of this has to do with love, or that maybe he loves someone who isn't xiao zhan, but after all that i have seen over the past few years, i'm not sure how else to harmonize it all if they aren't szd. if nothing else, it makes me so happy to imagine that they've really found a love like this with each other, and for me, that's been the joy of being in this fandom (especially these last few years, with all that has been going on in the world).

anyway, i like to tell people that i fell into the wangxian pit because of xiao zhan's beautiful face, and that i tripped and fell into the yizhan pit because of yibo's lovesick face. everything about yibo's "like a sunshine" song and performance is just making me even more emotional about them and the epic romance that i see between them, and it brings me so much joy.

▪️Now that you bring up about the the 🦴 necklace, do you think the necklace is actually XZ’s gift? Does it really have a 王 engraving on it? Do you think the 🦴 necklace some kind of statement?

i'm not sure if it's really engraved with a 王... but i think the 🦴 is (1) a gift from someone special because yibo wears it so frequently... you only come back to a piece of jewelry that often when it has great personal meaning... especially when you are someone who wears fancy accessories for work all the time. it has shown up in inappropriate times too, like under a period costume on set, when he's not supposed to be wearing personal jewelry... that tells me it means something very special, because he just won't take it off. and (2) i think it's from xz because he has called yibo a puppy (gouzaizai), there was that time yibo's co-star from LoF said in a livestream that he can't call yibo gouzaizai because he's not xz (which tells me that other people know about xz using that term of endearment)... also xz has called yibo clingier than jianguo (comparing him to a pet), so yeah... i think it's really only xz who could give yibo a 🦴 necklace 🥰

could it be another person? i guess if i am wrong about them being szd, it could be someone else... but to me that would mean he's in a relationship with someone else. i have jewelry that other friends have given me that i wear on occasion, but the pieces that i wear all the time are the ones my husband has given me.

In between this answer and the next question, we both became a crying mess remembering the beautiful and meaningful dance performance of Yibo’s LtS at the New Year’s Gala, till we regained our composure, lol

▪️ How did you come to meet your good friends when you first started out in fandom?

when i first came to twitter in early april 2020, i really didn't know where to start. i wasn't a twitter user, and i'd never done the fandom thing before. i lurked for awhile, following solo accounts (at first, just xfx, because i was really worried about how xiao zhan was doing... it was still very early after 227). i stumbled over ventus's (@VenOceanofStars) posts, and spent a few long nights scrolling her posts of old candy. she noticed that i was liking literally hundreds of her posts, and dm'd me to ask me "how old is too old to obsess over ggdd?" and that's how we became friends. 🥰 she introduced me to @ShirasagiS and the three of us spent a lot of time just talking about ggdd and c-ent generally, since they are fluent in chinese (i am also asian, and although i've been perpetually trying to learn chinese, it's been a slog!)

i also found @BjyxObsessed because i thought her pinned tweet was hilarious and it spoke to me (back then, it was all about the shock of falling into this shippy pit as an older fan), and because i am not a shy person, i slid into her dms and forced her to be my friend. 😂 she introduced me to the world of rp fiction, and her sweet and funny fics were among the first i read (in any fandom!)

that's generally been my pattern... i see people around who might share an opinion or a demographic (a lot of my fandom friends are older fans with families and irl jobs) and i might dm them to see if we click. sometimes we do, sometimes we don't (and that's okay!)

when i finished posting wamtl and realized i was not done writing after all, i helped put together a discord server with some other writing friends, a place where we could encourage one another as we prepared for an upcoming fic exchange that we were all participating in. that was a great way to make friends... gathering around a common creative interest, be it writing or art or maybe just yelling about the boys.

some of those writers have since moved on, and some new writers have joined... it's sad when friends go on to other fandoms or to other interests, but i'm told this is a natural ebb and flow of fandom, and so i've learned to roll with it and keep making new friends.

somehow, nearly five years after yizhan started filming cql together, new 🐢 still find their way here, and i like to think that that's a testament to how beautiful and real their story feels.

▪️ Okay, I have the exact same question. How old is too old? Because I regard myself as one of the older 🐢 age-wise. I was VERY relieved to see several 30+ or 40+ in fandom 🤭

well, i don't like to tell people how old i actually am because i feel like putting a number on it might make people wonder if they're too old (if they're older than i am)... i prefer the mystery! but yes, i've been told that my saying i'm an older fan makes other older fans feel more comfortable with being here, and that's nice to know!

i do have readers and followers who i know are older than i am, and i think that's awesome!

▪️ Lastly, a piece of advice for newbie 🐢, please!

i would second renren's advice to respect the boys, their business partners, and their co-stars/friends and don't write shippy things on their posts. think of the golden rule before you hit "send" on things... how would you feel if you were yibo or xiao zhan and people were yelling shippy things on your work projects? for that reason, i try to keep my nonsense within this fandom bubble... i don't hashtag with their names, and i don't interact with solo accounts unless i *know* they're tolerant of cpfs.

the other thing i would say is to spend your energy positively. being excited about yizhan's projects and their accomplishments does not mean you have to trash someone else... that's a really bad look, and can only make trouble for them (and especially don't do that if you're using them as your profile picture because it reflects badly on them).

finally, don't evangelize. if people see what you see and want to find out if they're szd, they'll find their way here. arguing with people and trying to "prove" to outsiders that they're together is bad form... remember that we really don't know anything. i might personally feel they're szd, but if other people don't see it, i respect that too. THAT SAID... if they trip and fall into the pit the way i did, i'll do what i can to make them feel welcome so they can enjoy a positive and joyful fandom as i have!

END

[emometalhead]

OH MY GOD DO I HAVE SQUID GAME THOUGHTS

gi hun and front man??? doomed gay nerds from the start. I love them but they will make eachother worse

HYUN JU MY BADASS MARINE QUEEN!!!!!! literally she’s my favorite character. I support women’s rights and women’s wrongs and whatever else she has going on. I aspire to be her. I want her to be my older sister. if (after sae-byeok it feels more like WHEN bc they love killing fan favs) she dies I will be devastated.

season 1 had the better crazy lady because the shaman had NO redeeming qualities

the potato sack type race was interesting mainly because it made me feel bad for that one guy who kept missing the big stone :( it kinda reminded me of the saw 8 shotgun carousel for some reason??? idk just on vibes

gi hun. please. use your brain. your gay lover who you have trauma bonded (?) with is the frontman. never trust player one I thought we established this.

and a question for you because you’re always right: what do you think the next games are??? I’ve heard human chess and monkey bars based on the paintings in the big room with all the beds, and a lot of people are saying the game with the two dolls will be jack and jill?? and someone also suggested like trolley problems based on that railway crossing thing I guess. anyways any and all thoughts appreciated!!!

Hi!!! I am so excited to talk about this!!!!!!!!! I'm going to follow suit and do coordinating bullet points!!

• Gi-hun and the Front Man. OH MY GOD. Toxic and doomed. I'm obsessed with the dynamic. The Front Man is so unhinged. Him straight up killing that guy with his bare hands to save Jung-bae during the carousel game just to murder him in front of Gi-hun was crazy!!! I actually gasped. I wasn't expecting Jung-bae to make it through the show, but it was still a bit chilling for him to die in the way he did. The Front Man slipped back into his role so easily. The dude is frightening. That being said, I am so eager to see more of his interactions with Gi-hun in season 3! I totally agree that they are making each other worse, but I am living for that toxicity.

I need to know what's going to happen if/when the Front Man reveals his identity. I'm really dying to see more from the Front Man. Also Gi-hun is very single-mindedly focused, and I'm curious to see if it will ultimately be to his detriment. I hadn't expected him to coordinate the seize/attack in that manner, and I truly don't know how to predict where things will go from here. The Front Man definitely has an interest/investment in Gi-hun, but I can't determine if/how that will work to his advantage.

• Hyun-ju!!!!!!! QUEEEEEEEEEEEN!!!!!! She is everything!!! The way she stepped up and took charge when the contestants agreed to fight back against the people running the game was so bad***. Her interactions with Young-mi were precious, and Young-mi's death broke my heart!! Also the change in relationship between Hyun-ju and Geum-ja was sweet. Geum-ja went from not understanding to taking care of her. Her reaffirming Hyun-ju's womanhood and inviting her into the bathroom and her stopping Hyun-ju from picking up the guns again at the end were both very sweet, maternally protective moments.

Hyun-ju is so damn cool and impressive. I am rooting for her survival. (Sae-byeok's death hurt so much!! I can't handle this again!!) I'm going to be so upset if she dies. I really really hope she makes it through. If not, you and I can both riot together.

• I hated the shaman!! She's so annoying!! I was lowkey hoping she would die, because I was tired of everyone having to deal with her 😭. I watched the show with my parents and brother, and none of us liked her at all.

• I felt so bad for the guy who kept missing the stone!! That game had me so stressed! Like with Red Light, Green Light, I wasn't overly stressed for the most part since I had a basis for what to expect. That obviously went out the window for the other games!

I had to look up the Saw 8 shotgun carousel. (I know, I'm sorry, but I haven't seen any of the Saw movies.) That was an intense watch! I can kind of get why you felt similar vibes with it. Since everyone in the group had a game to play, their inaction could lead to multiple deaths. Also there's a similarity in being stuck in a game even after seeing others in your situation die.

• Literally!! Gi-hun. Listen to me, man. Do not allow your attachment to 001 and your perceived knowledge of his death blind you. Do not allow this to deter you from your mission of ending these games. The Front Man can't be trusted. Even if the gay trauma bonding has been intense, the dude is the Big Bad you're looking for. I am already on the edge of my seat for season three.

As far as what I think the next games will be, I have no clue. I honestly haven't put any thought into it. I hadn't even taken a second to consider it until reading this ask yesterday night. I think I need to look back on the hints we've been given, and I'll have to really put thought to it. That being said, I definitely couldn't have predicted the games we saw in season two, so I don't feel very confident making predictions about it.

Additional thoughts:

• My heart was breaking for Dae-ho in the last episode. He had tried to be so helpful to everyone throughout the season, and then he was clearly unprepared and overwhelmed for the armed conflict. I was so stressed watching his breakdown/PTSD flashback. I've seen people online very harshly criticize his character for not delivering the ammo, but I am sympathetic to the context of his inability to complete the task. Also he very clearly respected and cared for Jung-bae, and I'm already sad thinking about how it will go over when Dae-ho learns of his death.

• Min-su pissed me off. Se-mi was so kind to him, and he totally betrayed her. I know he fought back when she was attacked, but he did not treat her with the same care or respect that she showed him.

• I'm extremely nervous for Jun-hee. I really hope she's able to make it out. Her plotline is really tragic. Like her deadbeat baby daddy scammed her and then let her believe he was dead!!!!! For her sake, I hope he makes it out too, because by the end when she stopped him from joining the fight it's clear she wants him safe. But like bruh. He better step up and help her out.

Some random things:

• Idk if you watched it dubbed or subbed, but I watched it dubbed. (Subtitles aren't accessible for everyone in my family.) I had no clue until yesterday when my dad mentioned it that Thanos was sometimes speaking in English! I found a compilation on Twitter, but I had no clue while watching! Also like we thought it was odd for him to say "señorita" a couple times, but it makes sense now knowing he was literally just randomly using other languages. Also it's kind of funny that most of the times when he spoke in English, he was cussing.

• All of that being said, he was annoying lol. I kept calling him and Nam-gyu "the drug guy and the other drug guy". I typically used everyone's name, but they pissed me off so they got nicknames lol.

• My brother and I also kept calling the Salesman "the insane guy" which I feel like is self explanatory lol. He was so unhinged, and I could not look away.

Final thoughts to round this out!! I feel like there's things I'm forgetting to say, so I will send you an ask if I remember anything else. I think I have more feelings than actual coherent thoughts about it all, so I tried my best to articulate my opinions instead of just screaming here lol. I'm also like really considering rewatching season one. I didn't do so before starting season two, and I definitely felt out of the loop during the first episode. Plus, it's just so good. Idk when I'll have time to rewatch it, but I definitely want to do so before season three comes out.

If you have any other thoughts or feelings, please feel free to drop by anytime!! I love hearing what you have to say, and it is so fun any time we have a shared media interest to scream about together.

[simping-for-kamski]

So the rundown is:

62% of respondents are rabid Gavin fans

100% of respondents do not need Gavin for sexual gratification

11% of respondents don't give a damn about Gavin or who he is

A whooping 30% of respondents don't get the dude bro hype

This was actually pretty hilarious :D And nice to see that we folks who don't like Gavin, however scattered we are in the fringe of the rat man imperium, are still more numerous than we might seem. And not alone.

My take - the backstory~

Well, I didn't start out hating Gavin. In fact, a Reed900 fanmovie on YT is what got me into DBH at all. I thought "holy shit, I want to be in a fandom that makes such amazing content" so, kudos to you Reed900 fans.

So I watched a playthrough and was MINDBLOWN over the fact that there were OTHER characters than Connor, Hank and Gavin. I legit did not expect Markus and Kara and all the characters in their stories. I thought it was going to be Connor and Hank bromance in a vacuum.

So, 5 days fresh into the fandom, only having watched that Reed900 movie and an "Everybody Lives" 6h playthrough, I started writing a fic called Gardengate that would turn into 270k of deep lore plot and praised for its characterization. It even has Gavin in it.

But as months went by, I felt like all I saw everywhere was "fucking Gavin Reed again" and it bothered me so much. But why? I see iterations of Connor all the time too (and yes, I think Connor is a bit overrated too). I sure wish I'd see more of Leo who also is a racist, hot-tempered, disrespectful, brash raccoon boy kinda character like Gavin (with much better looks, and witty lines).

And that's when it started to grate on me. Why all the obsession for Gavin when Leo, a much-more developed and intriguing character is RIGHT THERE. Wanna hook up him with Connor? Have him get interviewed, interrogated, arrested, be an informant, anything! Wanna hook him with RK900? Give Markus a bodyguard! But no. No, fandom wasn't looking for that. Gavin and RK900 are those minor non-characters that can be plied into whatever fanon fandom wants to create for them.

And that's where my irk starts

To me, Gavin is a spinoff fandom of his own, and I'm not into that fandom. I'm into DBH. Then why am I more tolerant of RK900, who I also view as a spinoff fandom? Well.

Gavin is a bully. An ugly, dumb, pos. He doesn't have an agenda, he's just a basic dudebro with a self-confidence inversely proportional to his non-existing self-insight. You can't write him in an enemies-to-lovers dynamic because he's not anyone's enemy, just a nothing with a foul mouth. It's bully-to-lover at best and as someone who's been bullied by small hormonal versions of him, it's just yikes to me.

I know these people don't grow soft or sweet on you just by proximity. They don't open their eyes one day and realize you're a person, because they don't have to. They're already in power, they want to keep that power, and they have zero interest in not keeping you down.

At this point I'm lowkey regretting to have included Gavin in Gardengate because I'm so tired of him. It's complicated. I'm normally really good at having fifty different versions of a same character and acknowledging they're not the same, letting them have different dynamics and relationships—here Kamski and Chloe are siblings, here they're friends, here they're lovers, etc.

But Gavin is the face of "Assholes Won"

Gavin makes me feel like those times I tried to emulate popular art styles and ended up heart-broken over the art pieces I created no longer feeling like "me". In the end, Gavin puts me face to face with the fact that as an autistic Queer person, I've always been scared of the majority and always sided and been drawn to the minorities and niches, where I could usually be safe from the dominant norm people.

Anything that is popular squicks me, the way popular kids who bullied me squicked me. I've had this in every fandom—I always simp for the resident mad scientist, ship rarepairs and dodge the popular ships and fanon stuff.

But Gavin burns me like no one else because he's a bully, and to me, it feels like taking your local nazi ugly douchebag and attempting to tone him down and redeem him by prettifying him on FaceApp, turning him gay for autistic dick and having the cute autistic boy thirst for that not-a-nazi-ugly-douchebag dick. EW YIKES.

So there. END OF THE FUCKING ESSAY shit that was long lol nobody gonna read that

Feel free to reblog and write entire essays about why you love, hate or don't care much about him!

(Just remember nobody's wrong for loving or hating a character, or for having a different interpretation of them than you do! Be kind!)

[dejwritesarchived]

♡ ˙ ˖ ✧ — tell my brother she ours. 🥴, p power by gunna ft drake [ ft your fav brother duos, osamu + atsumu, rindou + ran, & zeke + eren, her/she pronouns, female anatomy, smut, threesome, degradation kink, pet names [babygirl, slut, pretty girl, etc], slight bimbo sugar baby recording of intercourse (for rindou + ran part), reader (for rindou + ran part), oral / f.receiving (for atsumu + osamu part), power dynamic & corruption kink (for eren + zeke part), slight drabble format ]

♡ ˙ ˖ ✧ — ZEKE YEAGER + EREN YEAGER

YOU THOUGHT BEING GRISHA YEAGER'S APPRENTICE WOULD BE EASY WORK. Being able to be the mentee of one of the best surgeons in the medical field was a dream come true considering that you were currently in medical school. However, it wasn't going the way you wanted it to go. You were expecting to be able to watch him perform surgeries, read his personal research from the surgeries he's done, and the list goes on. You've only been met with such a harsh old man when you met him. You've only been able to watch about two of his surgeries within your month of being his mentee and he didn't even like you stepping into his office (unless you were fetching him a patient's file). Don't get you started on the unofficial role of babysitting his sons.

Two complete opposite of each other. It was like flipping a coin and deciding who was exactly going to bother you as you sat in your little office right across from Grisha's in his clinic. You were quite observant though. Mondays and Fridays, the youngest Eren would always pop into your office with some goofy grin and even goofier pickup line because he didn't have classes that day. While Tuesdays and Thursdays, the eldest Zeke would bother you with a cup of coffee and some sarcastic remark about his dad. On those days, he didn't have to go to his job as a T.A at the same university Eren attended.

You were observant of their little tricks to try to toy you and for the fun of it, you let them play with you. Just to get under Grisha's skin. A poor example and even bad influence on you as the three of you managed to break into the clinic after it was closed. You just didn't expect to bent off Grisha's desk as Eren's cock was bullying its way into your tight cunt. Your desperate moans are muffled with Zeke's girthy cock in your moan.

Your sweet moans vibrate off the back of your throat causing the eldest to groan in complete bliss. You can feel Eren's grip on your waist get tighter as he's backing you up on his cock like his personal fleshlight. Your mascara stained your hollow cheeks with each tear droplet that ran down them. You just kept wondering which was going to give out on your first. Your pussy that Eren was fucking into like a madman or your throat that Zeke seemed to be obsessed with thrusting so harshly forward until the tip of your nose kissed his happy trail.

"Maybe if we make a lil mess in his office he'll finally pay attention to you." Eren groaned out through his breathless groans.

"Probably not, but it's worth the try." Zeke added as his hips trusted forward to feel your wet mouth around his cock some more.

♡ ˙ ˖ ✧ — ATSUMU MIYA + OSAMU MIYA

YOU WERE A PRETTY SIGHT AS YOU TOOK ORDERS AT ONIGIRI MIYA. A wonderful worker that came to work on time every day, helped out when the restaurant was closing, and the list goes on. You were practically employee of the month every month. Obviously, being the cute girl you were, you always had your boss Osamu swooning with each passing by step you did by him. Osamu would get a quick whiff of your flowery perfume that caused him to smile. You also gained the attention of his twin brother also who would stop by occasionally to get food and annoy his brother.

"No." was the only thing that uttered out Osamu's mouth as he noticed Atsumu staring at you while you were chatting with a customer.

"You don't even know what I'm about to say," Atsumu argued.

"But you have that look on your face and I know that look," Osamu ended his comment with an annoyed eye roll.

"Oh come on, I know you think about it." Atsumu nudged him playfully.

The two didn't expect their pornographic daydreams to become a reality after a devious dare after sharing a bottle of sake with you. Who's the better kisser, Osamu or Atsumu? You can't even tell even after lip-locking with the two as you're sandwich in between them on the sofa. "It's no fair, he kissed you longer." Atsumu pouted causing you to let out a giggle. A couple more kisses later, Atsumu had taken comfort in between your plump thighs. His face buried into your cunt which caused you to arch your back off of Osamu who was sitting behind you littering small kisses and nibbles on your naked. His large hands lean over to squeeze at your breast, occasionally pinching at your nipples to gain an intoxicating moan from you. Your body radiated so much heat feeling the way the flat of Atsumu's tongue slurped up your arousal.

"So, tell me (Y/N), is Atsumu eating you out correctly or should I take over?" Osamu whispered in your ear.

♡ ˙ ˖ ✧ — RAN HAITANI + RINDOU HAITANI

YOU WERE ALWAYS A GIRL LOOKING FOR A CHALLENGE. Always looking for a rich person to grasp upon to fund your luxury lifestyle of designer clothes and diamonds. You even had a black book to keep up with the elite people you've milked out dry before ditching them for the next. Just your luck, you've grasped upon not just one Haitani, but both of them. A spoiled airhead that lips would curl into a pretty smile when one brother put a new diamond Cartier bracelet on your wrist. An even huger smile on your face when the other brother is zipping up the custom Versace dress that hugs your figure perfectly.

You have Ran and Rindou feeding out the palm of your hand.

Or so you thought you did?

They caught onto how you were eyeing for your next victim as you sat in the private section of a Bonten owned club. The way your eyes lingered a little longer on Japan's Attorney General son. They saw how your eyes no longer lit up when they gifted you things or placed a quick peck on the corner of your Fenty lip gloss-covered lips. You've grown bored of them.

And boy did they put you in your place.

Your head buried into the flushness of the pillow while Ran was bottoming down into your drooling cunt. You could only hiccup moans with each harsh thrust forward from the eldest Haitani brother. Each time you tried to break the perfect arch, he's pushing you back down thrusting even quicker. The lewd sound of skin slapping against each other echoed within the master bedroom of your highrise penthouse (Haitani funded).

Rindou held his phone recording the action. His cock is rock hard and coated with your saliva and he couldn't help but use his free hand to palm his own cock at the sight of his brother fucking their favorite girl. He's very sure to get your pretty fucked out face in the shot. Your hand going to cover your face, but Rindou instantly moved it away, and Ran only stuffed you some more. Your thighs were stained with their cum and drool droplets were on the pillow as Ran fucked your cunt.

"Maybe we should send this those lil rich idiots that are in that black book of yours, hm? They wouldn't want something that's the Haitani's." Rindou questioned as he brought his phone closer to Ran just to get a perfect view of your cunt swallowing his brother whole.

TAGS — @festive @nanaminshousewife @luffysthickwaifu @thicksimpx @gabzlovesu @misss-chrisss @maydayaisha @novaresque @gardenof-venus @plussizeficchick @queenmjp @itzgabz22 @caribbeanwifey19 @sunkissedebony97 @hw-shorty @gaiasmight @himbrosimp @sakusakwiyoomi @rinhoes @maideneyes @thenerdyrebel @reiners-milkbiddies @woahhajime @little-aruma @sleepy3 @ghoejo @daichisbunny @xsweetdellzx @manjiroscum @minniecums @serotoninaf @greattragedy @sal3m-is-lon3ly @onyxluva @anajah @bokutossidepiece @ceeriusly-dumb @hellavile @blessings-phiri @cloudseo @solaceinarts @7inaa @myabae-blog

[sanstropfremir]

ok!! i'm sure a couple of you were waiting for this, but here it is:

my fave choreos of 2021!

i'm gonna go in reverse order (top faves are last) this time just to mix it up. i don't think this is as long as my stylings posts but also who knows anymore, honestly.

---

runners' up

lay - flying asparas

this is only a runner up because it's not technically kpop but make no mistake, this is the best kpop adjacent choreo to come out of 2021. no exceptions. this man is king shit no wonder sm won't let him back in korea, he's too powerful now. watch this performance and CRY.

+

area - minho

really late entry from minho, from a rearranged version of area from his fanmeet on dec 21st. it's the most complex or fancy choreography this year but i really enjoy watching it during the fanmeeting, and i love the use of the rolling stool.

+

intro: crown - purple kiss

again with the rbw groups killing the intro choreographies. this was for the intro for their DEBUT!!! it's clean, it's sharp, it's interesting, it's got character, and the track itself is fun even if it is a billie eilish knockoff.

+

vibin' - youngjae

honestly i wasn't expecting a whole lot out of youngjae as a soloist, mostly because i didn't know what to expect. so therefore i was pleasantly surprised by how much i liked vibin'. it's cute and fun and i love that it has a lot of partner work and a bench. there's also a lot of depth of movement and it's very dynamic for a relative simple choreo (as you can tell by the camera shake).

+

not the end - highlight

another relatively simple choreo that's clean and satisfying to watch and doesn't impede vocal performance. choreos don't always have to be revolutionary to be good. also is that their practice room?? it's fucking gorgeous with that light setup.

+

intro: devil is in the detail - oneus

the first entry from oneus, and spoiler alert it's not the last. i love the use of the backup dancers for large multiple leveled formations, like right at the beginning and at 1:03. i also like the combination of really sharp isolated movements and smooth lyrical ones. like the name of the song, the devil really is in the details.

+

waiting - woodz

i liked this choreo a lot but i didn't like it more than i liked feel like, so i bumped it down. but we love a good stool choreo in this house and the dance practice is halloween themed, which is cute.

+

intro: window - oneus

do i even. have to say anything.

+

teardrop - sf9

honestly this is here just for intro, because those tree of life formations are so pretty. it's a bit hard to tell from this choreography video but if you're reading this you've likely already seen a lot of this choreo already, so you know.

---

faves

us - moon jongup

there is SO much lateral movement in this choreo i am obsessed with it. and longitudinal. there's just so much movement in general in this choreo that even though it isn't complicated it's still fun to watch. he's not afraid to have his backup dancers be doing things of equal importance to himself as the solo performer and it adds a lot of texture to the performance that sometimes is lacking in solo stages.

+

black mirror - oneus

that knee move. that knee move. this choreo really demostrates how versatile oneus is in their style of movements and concept execution. although there are a lot of groups that have a very consistent level of skill, oneus really is a step above that. obvious i love the props use, even if it is a bit of a challenge to use mirrors on stage (they ended up not being real mirrors in the stages because mirrors that big are huge hazards in terms of light direction, and can blind audience members and performers alike, especially when they move).

+

ra pam pam - golden child

i'm actually not going to talk about it too much here because addy sent me an ask about this specifically that i'm also in the middle of, but please know that i am deeply in love with this choreography and golden child has had a special place in my flop collection ever since rtk. it is an actual crime that they never put out a proper dance practice for it.

+

spider - hoshi

i don't think i really have to justify spider's place on this list. i really wish more idols were willing to use props like this but also i know that he only was able to pull this off because he's got access to hybe money + power and it didn't have a full promotional cycle attached to it. this choreographer is really good and i know team same has choreographed for svt before, but this was such a nice change from the vast majority of choreos this year.

+

thank u - yunho

listen, any choreo where yunho gets to sit on a throne of his dancers is a good choreo, and that intro image is SO strong i literally forget everything else that happens in this choreo even though so much of it is good. that point move with the hand in the chorus is so simple but such a great image and also it's a really clear example of letting a specific body part lead your movement. again, great example of how a choreo doesn't have to be crazy complicated or insanely difficult to be good.

+

tail - sunmi

i've talked about this choreo a bit in my sunmi posts before but we all knew this was gonna be here. i will always be said that they changed it from her jumping on that dancer's lap but at least we have a record of it. sunmi's choreos are always intricately tied to the themes of her comebacks and tail is no exception. and it's one of only a few choreographies of hers that is sexy sexy on purpose, even if it still is being used as a manipulation tactic. go browse my sunmi tag if you wanna hear me talk more about this.

+

feel like - woodz

not a technically difficult choreography by any stretch of the imagination, but it is difficult because there is so much empty space that relies on the charisma of the performer, which you can see really clearly in the follow shot version and also in just. any performance that he does. this choreo is also built for him; it uses a lot of movements that accentuate his very long limbs (he's about 6') and how much space his body takes up. he's physically bigger than most of his backup dancers and even with the male dancers it minimizes them by changing levels constantly or keeping him at the very front of the formations. although a shorter dancer could cover this choreo easily, just the disparity in size would pretty dramatically change how this choreo looks and it would take on a different meaning; which is the mark of a good and well thought out choreography. also any choreo that opens with someone lying on the ground and flipping up like that reminds me of chanyeol's intro from obsession and that's a big plus in my books.

+

advice - taemin

y'all knew this was gonna be here. there's a lot to love about this choreo but something i want to point out is that, like i previously mentioned with the feel like choreo: advice is built for taemin's size. he uses the fact that he's a little smaller than the average dude to augment the theme of dualities that runs through advice; so when he's with the female dancers he's larger than them, and when he's with the male dancers he's smaller than them, giving him the illusion of occupying two different spaces of power even though the movements are exactly the same. that's why for youngbin's cover, even though it looks right and it sure as hell was ballsy to do the supreme look, it also doesn't look right because youngbin has a totally different body type and he's got at least 3-4" on taemin, so he's as big/if not bigger than his backup dancers. byeongkwan from a.c.e has also done a cover and he gets much closer to how it feels like it should look because byeongkwan is the same height as taemin, and therefore smaller than the backup dancers. even if this choreo wasn't hard as fuck it would still be extremely difficult to cover just because of that, much like every other taemin choreo ever.

+

will make a mistake - blitzers

am i going to lose credibility in some people's eyes because i'm putting a rookie group choreography near the top of my list? probably, but know what's worse? that the industry is so starved for theatricality and character in performances that i immediately latched onto this because it's one of the first times i've actually seen a whole group give 100% to a goofy concept in a while. i've never gotten tired of watching these performances and i watched every single music show stage they did. i love the gimmick of the mouth and they don't overuse it (here's the performance mv so you can see it proper), and they really try to diversify the shapes and numbers within formations. i don't know what else to tell you other than this is what i think 4th gen boy group choreographies should look like.

+

luna - oneus

i know a lot of people are gonna compare this to vixx's shangri la and want to cry foul that it's 'just a copy and it will never compare' and i gotta stop you right there. firstly, i am very sure that some things are in fact, referential to shangri la on purpose (the opening pose of shangri la + the ending of luna, for example) and it's done in homage rather than strictly copying, and also: shangri la has an entirely different theme. shangri la is an abstract work, conceptual (literally) on purpose to invoke the actual meaning of the shangri la myth/story, and it uses something closer to 'generic east asian' as it's styling to highlight the orientalism of the whole as an idea and a term. versus luna, which is very very deeply grounded in very real korean folk traditionalism and pansori, especially in the choreo and costuming. there's at least three instances of korean folk dance moves that i could spot right away, and they use the extended sleeves from talchum, and the fabric sheets are the six traditional colours (obangsaek + green). and when it comes it the choreography itself? it takes all the ideas that the shangri la choreo introduced and built them into something bigger and better, and that is exactly what an adaptation on a theme should do. just watch the dance practices side by side and you'll see; a lot of shangri la's elegance is carried solely by hakyeon and despite the fans it's still a fairly typical bg choreo. luna has the fans built in as an integral part of the geometry AND brings in other elements from korean folk dance, so even though there's a more hiphop dance break, the full choreo itself is a hybrid mix of lyrical and traditional and hiphop. i really love this choreography and this comeback and i am so glad it got them their first win.

---

that's it! i've spent a loooong time mulling this over and there were a couple that just barely didn't make the list, including a.c.e's higher and bad love, as well as a couple others. but i gotta stop somewhere, sadly. fingers crossed for some good stuff this year!

[thelonewolf48]

Ok so... that was a lot and I wasn't expecting it lol also why would I mind you reblogging my reblog?! I want to know how other people see and react to this production and I'm dying to discuss things with someone! So please keep reblogging and commenting and anything you want! (Also I'm following you after I finish this reblog because I've seen other posts and my hands are dying to comment on those too! [Also I ramble a lot so bear with me!])

Ok! Oh boy, that's a lot to unpack and imma try to explain the best I can with my limited vocabulary... so I'll go point by point...

1. There's a lot of cultural stuff to unpack here so, I'll just stick with your comments for now!

2. One thing I want to be clear about this, is that depending on the city/state someone lives people can perceive certain things slightly different, so my opinions/comments/perception could vary from your friend... that said... international audiences have to understand that Mexico is a VERY catholic country, last time I checked I think like 80-85% of the population is Catholic (the rest professes other religions but its still a small part). There were some catholic groups that wanted the series cancelled and all (there were petitions and complaints sent to Netflix too).

Also culturally, telenovelas and like the biggest television networks here have done an amazing job to advertise heterosexual relationships as a rule and turning queer couples into comedy cliches or these big perverted sick people. Many abuelitas can tell you. These television networks grab tropes and make them into silly or over the top unbelievably portrayals that many grown people (my dad for example) 100% believe are true. (They've messes even with the Otaku community and even Kpop and made them look like obsessed behaviors that are super toxic and need to be cure... just to give you an idea... a mess I tell y'all)

But as far as I know (because it's been like a decade or so since I stopped watching telenovelas) that image its beginning to change. Sure, you still have the cliché super feminine gay boy that only talks about fashion that falls for the hyper-masculine macho that swears he won't ever touch a gay man cuz he doesn't want to become one, but I've also seen a few couples doing it right! I don't remember the name of the telenovela rn but there was this one young guy (maybe between 16-25 years old) that was struggling because he was kicked out by his father who couldn't accept that his son was gay and it wasn't a disease, and the guy along the boyfriend (who thankfully wasn't a walking cliche) and friends tried to make the dad understand that there was nothing wrong with it and it was a nice change! I've also seen these other about a lesbian couple that looks super cute and like a normal idiot meets idiot then fall in love that I've seen floating around but I haven't seen that one so I can't comment.

And then MSHD and tbh? I'm glad the perspective is changing! (Baby steps, baby steps)

But returning to the topic at hand... can you see how these cultural things affect the comments? (I mean, I guess this happens everywhere too but, maybe not to these extremes(?))

No! Maybe to someone not used to Mexican telenovelas this dynamic seems like overused and all, but NO! At least not when you compare the other telenovelas. And believe me, I've watched them my whole life! These dynamic and portrayal is fresh (for Mexican standards/eyes) and HEALTHY! (Maybe not much in season 2, but season 1 felt like 🤔 a natural(??? I forgot the word) progression and I believe no one was expecting that season 1 finale!

Exactly! And for any international fan out there that might read my comment... BELIEVE ME, IT COULD'VE BEEN WORSE!

Ah, whitexican... (wait Jane the Virgin counts as a telenovela? /insert surprised Pikachu here/ not that I watched but... wow okay!) Listen, here in Mexico we say we aren't racist... but we divide people into colors, social status, and culture... that's racism 😐 (we are too used to call it colorism and classism(? If that word exists in English) And yes! You see any commercial in Mexico and you'll barely see a brown skin person on TV... and the ones you'll see are either the ones with the lowest status and or delinquents... full of cliches 🤷‍♂️ (right now "los exitosos Perez" doesn't ring any bells but maybe I did watch but don't remember or I just simply didn't watch, depends of the year it came out and if I was either too young or it was when I didn't watch telenovelas lol) I think it was rated 16+ not only because of the women nipples but also because of the thing they're obviously smoking (like, hello, cliché again). Again, keep in mind how women (abuelitas and mothers) would react to some nipples appearing in TV... they would pray and ask for forgiveness 🙄

The only male perspective I have rn is my dad's. And as I said before, he makes mistakes but he tries! (Please, let's thank my mom for making my dad a little more open-minded.) Because I asked these questions and what he, as a father and as a male, thought about such comments and his answer was "Están pendejos (they're idiots... in Spanish sounds better though) what happened it's normal and Juan Carlos is such a stupid man because how could he do that to his family? And Pablo? A child! Besides, he told Mariana he didn't want the baby, why is he fighting for it now?, just because his friends told him he was less of a man now he wants the baby" (let me say, I'm proud of my dad and how, after he calmed and said he didn't expect season 1 finale, that these things sometimes happened in real life. That men are like that and that the women represented in the series are real strong ones. He was also a little confused as to why they kissed but he said he understood Mariana's side and Ana's reaction. Isn't he lovely?)

I always liked Ludwika as an actress, she's very convincing, not that Paulina isn't but you can see the experience Ludwika has right away. As for the finale, I was hoping to see them together at the end (before knowing there would be a second season) and was shipping them from the start! I just didn't think they would dare because all the above I explained lol and HELL YEAH I WAS SURPRISED TOO! And you're not alone, I also thought Ana would become a mentor of sorts instead of Teresa because she was giving Mariana all the right advices! And then BOOM KISS! And excuse me while I die because "momzone us"????? 🤣 (I really laughed out loud the first time I read it)

Re: Re: "normal" queer relationship

As I said, I really don't want to use that word because even within heterosexual couples, each person has different stories and nothing is really "normal" but I guess I don't have a better English word to describe how not cliché Ana/Mariana relationship is. Especially considering they are polar opposites, not only in their beliefs but also in terms of Social Status (obviously Ana is rich/from a higher status and Mariana is not really poor but she is from a lower-middle social status (??? If it makes sense), religious beliefs (one catholic the other atheist but allows her grandmother to have these rituals), and color of skin (I mean Paulina isn't super brown but we can see contrast cuz almost everyone on Mariana's side are brown and in Ana's case everyone is white with the exceptions of her driver... so, real clear statements right there) I do hope we see more about them next season!

And yes! I think they're doing a good job with Ana/Mariana story... (not the perfect one I want but baby steps.) And I'm really hoping they don't give us an heterosexual ending (crossing fingers because I don't trust Mexican telenovelas/writes)

Ferran-in-the-way thingy

It screamed heterosexual bullshit and it was unnecessary! Me and dad were like, I feel he is just an extra and he was unneeded. I don't hate Ferran or the actor, I just hate how they wrote him.

They had 8 episodes

True! True! These whole pandemic is messing with us. But as I said... they could have used one of the many Juan Carlos whining/crying/begging scenes to give us at least one single discussion between Ana/Mariana... I don't know... like a bathroom of all places isn't the best place(????) Also one moment they are "I dislike you a lot rn (because I never believed they hated each other) and then BAM BFF and everything forgotten" I don't believe Ana to be that way, at least not without a proper talk first.

The no cancer issue too! And I don't know what all those things you mentioned are but YES, WHY THE WHOLE SHOW IF IT WAS NOTHING? Like you give everyone a heart attack woman! At least give us 2 minutes and explain what the doctor told you or if you had to be removed or just ANYTHING! It felt too "this doesn't help the script anymore, let's ignore it" if you ask me.

WHAT TATTOO?????? SHABSHSHSJABDDJ I need to watch season 1 and then again 2 to remember this fact because, EXCUSE ME? My mind forgot that tiny detail... and OMFG DON'T PUT SUCH IMAGES IN MY HEAD CUZ I DON'T WANT MORE IDEAS TO WRITE! LOL

Anyway, I hope I really clarifying all your points and if not, sorry 🙃 you can keep asking things if it wasn't clear enough... forgive my English too and my ramblings! 🙃🥴😆

Ok. Re: Ferran + Ana/Mariana in season 2

I see so many people talking about what a mess season 2 was and--hm. Maybe it's that I'm too easily entertained, maybe it's because it's hard for me to get genuinely critical of such a lighthearted, soapy show, but--I dunno.

Were there flaws? Sure. Did the second half of the season drag a little with certain secondary arcs? Yes. (Which is funny, because season 2 was much shorter than the first one.) Did those flaws make season 2 any less enjoyable/binge-able? In my humble opinion, nope. And it's not like season 1 was flawless to begin with.

I feel like a lot of fans were way more disappointed with

the lack (of a lot) of gay content (e.g., smooches),

the direction the writers took with Mariana/Ferran

than they want to admit.

Regarding No. 1, I (kinda) get why this matters to a lot of fans. I do. For a show with 2 queer leads, 1 secondary lesbian character and a recurring/guest lesbian character, there was a surprising amount of het stuff. And yes, Netflix has been promoting/pushing Ana/Mariana as a couple since Pride month, and double yes, the series is one of the first ones that come on top when you type/search "gay" or "lesbian" on Netflix.

That being said, Ana and Mariana did go ~canon~ with that kiss in the finale. Netflix didn't "queerbait" anyone, because Ana and Mariana are actually queer and now their romance arc has officially started. I mean, come on, fake dating? Is there a more cliched/fanfic-like trope?

Also, two more words here: slow burn. After all, how often do we get to see actual slow burn romance arcs between two women on (either prestige/auteur or trope-y) TV? The kind of arcs that are messy yet well-developed, because they span through multiple seasons? Most f/f fictional pairings start dating/get together after, like, 3 episodes. Definitely not 3 seasons. So, let's have a little patience here. Ana and Mariana read like a 150k+ tropefest/fanfic, heh.

Personally, I think season 3 will be very satisfying to watch.

Concerning No. 2 now: I think that Ferran was a boring character ngl, cause, so far, he hasn't had an arc of his own. He just stood there as Mariana's love interest and created some soapy drama/friction between the two protagonists (it's the telenovela element of it all)--made Ana jealous and helped her realize™ certain thingies. Well, almost made her realize™. She was a really dense cookie this season (which is funny, because she's sharp/smart generally), but figuring out your orientation can be a long and painful process. So who can really blame her?

And, honestly? I didn't get why all those female characters went bananas over him. That's my very biased opinion here, but he's not even that handsome, lol. Hell, Pablo is a more good looking dude, but admittedly less charming/charismatic and more annoying.

But I loved how the writers handled it. There was no stupid love triangle (something that many fans had feared would happen), no cliched, misogynistic catfight (that would have been quite ironic with all those feminist speeches). No bickering about him. Nada. Mariana calmly confronted her, they sat down, discussed it and quickly resolved it--just like they do with everything else.

And if there's anything that scene--among many other ones in season 2--proved? That their relationship is more important to both of them than any of their romantic interests. Didn't the finale prove that? That no matter what, these two will always choose each other over anyone else (except for their kids)? That the idea of them "fake" dating (wow, such a chore/sacrifice there /s) sounds less "crazy" to them than having to stay away from each other? Even for a short period of time?

Moreover, let's give Mariana a break, huh? Ana needed time to process everything that's happened to her: the breast cancer scare that made her put things into perspective, the divorce/separation, trying to figure out what's the next step in her career, and of course, the nature of her feelings for Mariana.

But Mariana needed time, as well. After all, that kiss/confession in 1x09 was a rushed and desperate/spasmodic move to prevent Ana from hurting her.

It's clear that she's trying really hard to prove to herself (and thus Ana) that she's over her romantically. Trying to convince herself that what Elena had said is true. "She's become one of the important people to me. I confused my close friendship with her for something more/different" and "Even if those were romantic feelings, I was projecting, Ana is not into women, it was one sided, I need to move on already," because she

can't possibly know that Ana feels the same way. That asshole, hurt/angry or not, certainly didn't show it in the first half of the season. She reverted to her terrible early s1 self and told Mariana that she's not fit to be a mother, that she should just give up her child to her, and even casually mentioned that, if needed, they could steal Mariana's idea and keep her out of it. Dick move after dick move, and yet, Mariana forgives her more quickly/easily than Ana does for the JC/Tere affair--as if that were Mariana's fault in the first place.

is afraid of getting rejected a second (third?) time. So, of course she won't risk "ruining" their friendship a second time by pushing Ana.

Besides, wasn't Ana the one that encouraged her to move on? So, instead of just moping around and waiting for her indefinitely, she follows Ana's advice and goes for a rebound relationship instead. Ferran is cute/cool (according to Mariana), and there, and likes her. So why not give him a chance?

And, sure, I don't doubt that Mariana likes Ferran back, but I don't think she's in love with him as many fans claim--not yet anyway.

When the opportunity presents itself and Ana comes clean about her feelings, there's no doubt in my mind that Mariana will dump Ferran (or anyone else) to be with her first person/choice. She's kind of already made that choice in 2x08 anyway.

They both talk a big game there, but they're taking a big risk with that ~crazy plan.~ It could really backfire and impact Ana's custody battle (just imagine how JC can spin this), their professional image, and more importantly, their relationships with their families and friends. Like, ok, Ceci will be supportive and Ro will eventually come around 'cause he adores them both, and Romelia isn't that close with Ana, but what about Mariana's rocky relationship with her mother? Teresa sure didn't look happy with this particular development. Although if I had to guess, her anger is strictly directed at Ana and not Mariana.