#man I am so disappointed in Elliott tho

[avidya-musings]

Regarding the Twitter drama, I would like to make it clear I DO NOT condone or support Elliott Ghindi (or his actions/decisions), nor will I ever choose to do so.

While I AM a Tighnari-themed blog (and while I heavily kin Tighnari), I do not associate him with his VA, and I especially will not ever after seeing all what’s happened. Please do not harass me for having such attachments to a character who has nearly nothing to do with his VA other than simply having been voiced by the person.

I will not condone other users coming onto my blog to yell/nag at me for liking, writing, or drawing/cosplaying Tighnari content. He is a kin and a comfort of mine, and his VA’s choices will not change my views on him. He is a separate person from those who voice him.

(That being said, I am NOT defending Elliott. However, I will block anyone who attempts to start shit with me just because I enjoy making things related to Tighnari.)

[sublimecatgalaxy]

♥️ Fezco Masterlist 2 ♥️

This is strictly my Fezco Masterlist.

Before requesting, take a look at my Masterpost to gain more insight into my DNI and requesting guideline lists. Take a look at my Prompt List for some ideas regarding request too!

This is where you'll find all of my Fezco blurbs since this list is too long to add into the regular Masterlists.

So Soft:

Summary/Request: “Short little fez blurb about cuddling and the fact that I guarantee hes touch starved.”

Tricks:

Summary/Request: “lil thing where Even tho Fez smokes, he can’t do any smoke tricks n y/n shows him how do to O’s, ghosts etc”

Jealousy:

Summary/Request: “Can you please do a blurb where Fez gets jealous because someone is hitting on his girl right in front of him”

Artist:

Summary/Request: “Could you pls do Fez x reader where the reader draws him whenever she’s bored and one day she leaves the sketchbook on the table.”

Debt Owed:

Summary/Request: “Omg what about this reader sees Ashtray bleeding or something then she helps him and he leads her to fez and says “she’s cool and I owe her one” or something like that.”

Embroidered:

Summary/Request: “The reader has a secret gift for her man, something that she knows will make his head spin.”

State Lines:

Summary/Request: “Fezco goes on his first trip with the reader, except he’s never been on a plane before and is a bit nervous.”

Playful Pleasure:

Summary/Request: “Fezco gets a call in the middle of a very intimate moment with his girlfriend. She’s disappointed that he answers it so she makes it a bit hard for him to stay focused.”

Innocence:

Summary/Request: “smutty blurb w fez where reader is innocent and doesn’t know what to do:)”

Vivid Image:

Summary/Request: “elliot or fez fluff after reader wakes up from a nightmare??”

Be Quiet:

Summary/Request: “reader x fez where he has his hand covering her mouth while they fuck so they dont wake up ash”

Engraved:

Summary/Request: “i remember how reader got underwear w fezs name on it and he flipped i wonder what he would say if she got a tattoo of his name”

Sinful:

Summary/Request: “soft dom fezco x reader smut PLEASE I AM BEGGING.”

Intimidation:

Summary/Request: “Fez meeting reader n she’s the first girl to realllyyy tell him off m stand up to him. I can imagine classic “shut the fuck up-“ angry kisses and sex”

Mini Us:

Summary/Request: “Maybe Fezco with a breeding kink and cockwarming?”

Pillow Talk:

Summary/Request: “could you write something like some pillow talk with fez where you talk about the future like having kids, marrying, a life after drug dealing etc”

Stewing:

Summary/Request: “Comforting fez after a long day?”

Stand By Me:

Summary/Request: “how bout fez slow dancing with the reader to ‘stand by me’?”

Rager:

Summary/Request: “sex with fez at a party? (established relationships)”

Over In Five:

Summary/Request: “I’ve just read the “Elliott x reader dirty talk over the phone” and I was thinking why don’t write something like that but with fez?”

Let Me In:

Summary/Request: “'open the door’ prompt but this time with reader and fezco?”

Control:

Summary/Request: “Could you do a one shot with fez where the reader gets vibrating panties and gives him the remote?”

Squirt:

Summary/Request: “A smutty blurb with fez where he makes the reader squirt for the first time”

Big Baby:

Summary/Request: “Omg could you pls do a fez blurb where we ask to wax his legs and he’s like being a total baby while we’re doing it!!”

I Got You:

Summary/Request: “Stripper reader dating fez and he sees a customer harassing her”

First Time:

Summary/Request: “hey can i request a blurb where fez and reader are doing it for the first time?”

Facial Hair:

Summary/Request: “I had an idea that Y/N would be very sad when Fez made the decision to shave off his beard. She would literally ask if he would please let her take a picture of him before he shaves because he knows she will miss seeing him like this. It’s like an environment of pure fluff and teasing.”

Proposal:

Summary/Request: “fez proposing and being all lowkey and relaxed like at home and the reader being super excited”

Bruises and Bandaids:

Summary/Request: “I’d love to see a story of Fez getting hurt and reader taking care of him ❤️ just angst and fluff!!”

Breasts are Best:

Summary/Request: “❣️Fez. Titty fuck. That’s it. ❣️”

Tainted Seats:

Summary/Request: “Hii, can you write a story about “car sex” with fez?”

Shy:

Summary/Request: “fez confessing his feelings to the reader and he being all shy about it 🥲”

The Question:

Summary/Request: “fez proposing and being all lowkey and relaxed like at home and the reader being super excited”

Steam:

Summary/Request: “Steamy shower sex for fezco x reader? <33”

Trapped:

Summary/Request: “hi lovey, can you do a smut where you let Fez go without a condom for the first time?”

Aftermath:

Summary/Request: “Please do a realistic imagine based on the aftermath of the finale😭 no one is writing about it!!! I need the reader to be there for fez and comforting him!! I beg you!!!”

Wedding Bells:

Summary/Request: “Ok so I have an idea about a fez smut lol, like it’s fez and the readers wedding day and they’re really happy to start this new chapter in their lives together but everyone keeping pulling them aside and they don’t really get to see each other as much as they want and idk maybe ash or rue notices this and creates some kind of distraction and fez takes advantage of that and pulls the reader into a bathroom stall”

Yoga:

Summary/Request: “Fez and reader doing yoga together. Like she does yoga and stretching around the house and she gets him to try with her and eventually starts making ash do it with her. Maybe fez walks in one day with her and ash doing it in the living room”

Snacks:

Summary/Request: “the night cal showed up to the store and fez stayed up all night with the gun, him and reader are together and she stays up all night with him even though he insists but she won’t leave him alone all night. he’s stressed all night but she’s there to take care of him”

Nerd:

Summary/Request: “May I please request a Fezco x reader where his gf is a huge Star Wars nerd? (Specifically like prequel era/Clone Wars)”

Aftercare:

Summary/Request: “Hi! I was wondering if you could write about aftercare with fez and make it all fluff? If not it’s totally okay!”

Mobility Aids:

Summary/Request: “Imagine Fez is dating someone with a disability/medical condition where they need help moving around or they walk slow and Fez/Ashtray are both protective over her since she needs help, especially in public or with a lot of people around her”

Concussed:

Summary/Request: “can i request an fezco x reader & ash x platonic!reader where the reader hits their head and gets a pretty bad concussion and hides it from the boys and then the reader pass out in front of them?”

Family Decisions:

Summary/Request: “Can you do A blurb with fezco and the reader and it’s an angst but then they make up?”

No Reason to Freak:

Summary/Request: “Can you write a Fezco blurb where the reader comes out as being Bi to him.”

Be Discrete:

Summary/Request: “Fezco angst x100000. I just need to be in my sad and angry element atm lol”

Trust:

Summary/Request: “prompts: good girl, that’s it. spread your legs. eyes on me. i can’t seem to get enough of you. do you know how you make me feel? right there that’s it.”

Blocked:

Summary/Request: “Fezco fic where reader and him are trying to spend “time” together and everyone keeps cockblocking?”

The Play:

Summary/Request: “Can you do a fez x reader where lexi put a fez and reader bit in her play I will just want to now what that would be. "It the only couple that made me believe in love” said lexi"

Words:

Summary/Request: “fezco, Friends with benefits, soft dom if ya can :) “Use your words” and “did I stutter?””

Matching:

Summary/Request: “SUGAR DADDY SUGAR BABY FEZCO”

Drunk and High Enough:

Summary/Request: “Fezco, 21 💕💕”

Invitation:

Summary/Request: “Can you please do a fezco x shy reader. I don’t really care about the plot of the story I just love this trope :)”

Faking It:

Summary/Request: "Wondering if you would write something about faking an O"

Impatient:

Summary/Request: "Teasy Fezco with a lil smut mayhaps and also the line “are you blushing?”"

Cool It:

Summary/Request: "6 + 7 for Nate or fez!! ❤️"

Sunshine:

Summary/Request: "i was wondering if you could write smth like fezco x sunshine reader who has a rlly close platonic bond with ash and they’re both v protective of her"

Bathroom Counter:

Summary/Request: "new yrs sex w fez after he beat nate's ass<3"

Take a Breather:

Summary/Request: "Can you write a blurb with him with the prompts 8. 'I really don’t like you.’ - 'And I really don’t believe you.’ and 15. 'How does that feel?’"

Dangerous Woman:

Summary/Request: "I really loved loved loved loved loved your Dangerous Woman fic (I miss when Euphoria was so hyped) so I wanted to request a Fezco x dealer!reader?"

Rabbits:

Summary/Request: "i live for the fez x reader x (platonic) ash. i love when ash and reader banter and tease eachother 😭"

Uncle:

Summary/Request: "PLS MORE FEZ X READER X ASH(PLATONIC) THEY ARE SOOOO CUTE"

Spoiled:

Summary/Request: "'Can I get a reader who insists she doesn’t need a lot for valentines x Imma spoil the shit outta you just you wait Fezco?!'"

Thick Thighs:

Summary/Request: "Can I request Fezco x reader? Maybe she have big thighs?"

[normal-thoughts-official]

I.t.a (Identity thief anon)

I thought I had replied (if I did and you just hadn't post it it's 1000% fine ahshs)

I love Elliott so much!! And his crush is so cute (but also looking at the bigger picture is hilarious that I killed his would be father in law lmao) also awfullest thing pixelberry did was making me choose if I wanted to be his legal guardian or if I wanted him to be emancipated only to not have to do any of them since, you know, our grandpa was still alive...

Also I thought about it way too much for a choice (with no actual impact) in a game ahshshshhs, emotionally wise I'd have wanted to be his legal guardian but I think it'd make more sense (legally) emancipation because he would still get government help but there wouldn't be a risk of someone taking him away of in case I wasn't a successful guardian, and he could apply for scholarships more easily while I worked or something lmao I was just excited in that part.

I know there are some books in which you can be poly but the only I remember was moty (mother of the year) which was a better than expected book (to be fair I didn't goof have expectations) and in that one I started to date the three love interests <3

How far along are you in endless summer, who are you romancing, what do you think of the classmates + lila and what do you think about the story in general 👀

u hadnt replied!!!! hi i missed you!!

i didnt know u could be polyam in moty! i might try it out then, i never gave it a shot cuz i hate the idea of having kids ���� but anything for rep i guess

and YEAH I KNOW DIDNDIDNDO i love elliot so much and him and robbie are SO cute together but damn his in law straight up tried to kill us huh. like robbie deserves better than bobert or whatever his name is and im glad to have killed him but

also okay im in the middle of the second book idnfidndidndo around the part where the arachnids show up for jake. my opinions so far are kind of messy but uhhh

grace and raj are my faves, hands down. craig is a close second

i like almost everyone except for jake because hes just military propaganda in a trenchcoat with that annoying wahh im too conflicted to care about anyone white boy complex, and aleister because he was a dick to grace. idc how much he simps for her now she deserves better than him. and Quinn is kind of whatever. like her whole personality is uwu and its kind of annoying but i dont hate her or anything

the story is such a fucking mess?? udndidn i have NO CLUE whats going on 😩 if they manage to make everything make sense by the end ill be REALLY impressed cuz damn wtf is going on

im romancing sean!!!!!! what can i say, i have a type and that type is self sacrificial idiot. he has a heart of gold and he deserves better and aaaa 😭😭 u idiot man stop putting ur life in danger as the instinctual reaction BLEASE. i just want to wrap him in a blanket and make him take care of himself for once

i also like estela a lot but im not really that interested in romancing her ig? i enjoy our moments together but my feelings for her are more casual ig

i rlly want to like lila but i cannot stand her simping for discount tony stark my god. please lord just make it end

i rlly like everyone's dynamics???? its so nice to see how the group has been growing together more and more. i love them ❤️

i LOVE the vaanti. every last one of them. my beloveds. if they tried to kill us it's cuz theyre valid

varyyn and diego are the greatest couple this game has ever given me i am SO grateful for them. i just got to their first kiss and aaaaaa it was so sweet. upset at choices for not giving me art of their kiss when i had to watch aleister and grace's but 😩 its fine im fine. holding onto hope that ill get art of them eventually but i dont want to look it up and risk spoiling myself

i actually like craig and zahra as a couple a lot too which i didnt expect. i still dont fully understand what happened between them but i really hope they work it out :(

on that note i love zahra. anticapitalist queen. cant believe she fucking hacked wall street. id die for this woman even tho she wasted tiramisu

tbh i dont wanna get off the island. like what for? to go to college? when i could stay with the cool vaanti culture and be happy and not have to worry about capitalism and have sick ass tattoos? lets just kill tony stark and stay there besties

really like how they made the MC's past a mystery? like yeah we have absolutely zero past and backstory as per usual but this time it actually is an integral part of the story that we dont know that we were born in la huerta or basically anything about ourselves truly (even tong stinky didn't so like?). and it was nice to see that being a part of the story rather than just this weird feeling of detachment from the MC

the MC is so stupid and i love him

sean and craig are gay for each other. michelle and quinn are gay for each other. i diagnose everyone with gay

i literally dont have a single theory as to what the hell is going on like not one. and i have gotten almost every clue/idol/file but like i literally have no idea how to tie all of this together. this is such a mess didndkdndkdndidn im kind of excited to see what happens because ES seems to be so popular in the fandom i can only imagine the plot is gonna blow my mind, but im kind of afraid of being disappointed

and thats all ive got so far i think? udndidjd god

[leliana-sings-mozarts-requiem]

Answer 30 questions and tag 20 mutual

Thanks to @thatmusicgeek22 ❤️

Name/Nickname: I’ve found myself going by Pixel on Tumblr, tho if you look carefully you can find my real name 😉

Gender: Non-binary

Star sign: Virgo

height: like 5’11”?

Birthday: somewhere in the virgo range.

Favorite bands: oof they change so regularly, but I listen to a lot of The Arcadian Wild, Lord Huron, Black Hill & Silent Island, and Kaleo. Most of what I listen to is soundtracks tho.

Favorite Solo Artists: been listening to a lot of Hozier, Ella Fitzgerald, Mark Knopfler, Jacob Collier, and Alexi Murdoch.

Song stuck in my head currently: Dear Fellow Traveler by Sea Wolf.

Last movie I watched: documentary on Jane Elliott’s blue eyes/brown eyes experiment (called “a class divided”)

Last show I watched: heheheh I’ve been watching She-Ra againnnn. Also been watching sense8 which idk where this show has BEEN all my life.

When did I create this blog: ah shit, I think like January 2015?? I was still in high school and had it for most of the time.

What I post about: mostly political shit and dumb memes, occasionally I post about VG things and writing and misc art. Started out as video games and music but I stopped trying to have a set theme years ago. (((Psssst you can follow my music blog @thepixelbard for music stuff if you don’t already)))

Last thing I googled: a map of the world of Earthsea bc 1. I was trying to trace the path of Ged’s travels and 2. Maps are just *sexy* dhdhsjsk

Other blogs: @thepixelbard is my music tumblr! I don’t always post things often but that’s where I focus my music endeavors. Go follow meeee!

Do I get asks: not very often but I love getting them 🥺👉👈

Why I chose my URL: well, my first URL was dumb and had my name in it (bc I was like 16 and stupid) so I changed it to ‘Sibelius-M-D’ for favorite composers of mine and “MD” the title, then to this long monstrosity came about a few years ago for my favorite bastard man Mozart and my best girl Leliana from Dragon Age.

Following: uuuh like 500-something? I used to think it was a lot but yee

Followers: 233 absolutely beautiful bastards ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Average hours of sleep: oof it’s either like 9 hours or 6, not super healthy

Lucky number: don’t really have one but I’d say 7

Instruments: flute and cello are my primaries, but also trombone, piano, guitar, Irish whistle/low whistle, bodhran, and voice.

What am I wearing: PJs bc I just woke up shsjdjfkd

Dream trip: I wanna go back to scotlanddddd I was studying abroad there when COVID happened so I feel cheated out of my spring in the Highlands. Other than that, probably Norway, Germany, or northern Japan. Anywhere with cool music.

Favorite food: I will LITERALLY eat anything so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Nationality: Tragically American. Sorry to disappoint.

Last book I read. Most recently, I read A Wizard of Earthsea which is unbelievably good, but I’m also reading The House on Mango Street, The Ranger’s Apprentice, and A Court of Roses and Thorns.

Top three fictional universes I’d like to live in: this might be cheating since they’re by the same creator, but Princess Mononoke, Kiki’s Delivery Service, and Howl’s Moving Castle. I’m a simple queer who wants the escapism what can I say

Favorite color: lol well if you’ve seen my blog, various dark shades of blue, but also a nice rich dark green or the color of healthy soil.

Tagging: don’t feel obligated but I’d also love to get to know my mutuals better

@queertrashpotato @ikknowplaces @pastelmercutio @thewholeguacamole @life-not-needed @mahlerlove @declanexgf @spacehamsterthings @great-lake-state-of-mind @butchbatman @heyyitsjayy @plathcamusdostoyevskyjagger @in-the-key-of-f-major @peggyosgood @i-mossy @valeroyeaux @cryptid-god @a-girl-with-dumb-bitch-disease @legendofcutiepies @agenericpianist

[luckycheesefoodie321]

I WATCHED UMBRELLA ACADEMY S2 (SPOILERS + LONG POST)

I HAVE FEELINGS

IN THE MEANTIME

HERE’S MY NOTES AS I WATCHED

TWO THINGS:

A LUTHER APOLOGY SCENE THANK FREAKING GOD THAT IS LITERALLY ALL I NEEDED FROM YOU ONCE YOU MET UP WITH VANYA AGAIN

AND THAT DIEGO V REGINALD FIGHT???? HELL YEAH... and that asshole even conveyed his utter disappointment in his son without even knowing who Diego is

DID BEN FALL IN LOVE?!?!

That Klaus-Allison reunion was so wholesome

OOOH EVEN DIEGO IS FALLING IN LOVE

The Handler is SLAYING this look

Luther sweetie you need to chill and just move on bro you’re freaking out your brother in law

Ok but Allison the badass

BABY DAVID

That sit-in scene was potent...

But yknow I can see where Ray is coming from but damn...

THE HANDLERS DAUGHTER

WAIT SO THE HANDLER ADOPTED STOLE HER

I dunno if Luther is the best guy to tell Vanya the truth but I just want them to have more talking time

I meaaaannnn he could’ve done worse to you bro. He could’ve really turned on you for screwing up but this isn’t bad.

C’mon STOP BEING MEAN TO VANYA

I’m hoping Lila is gonna switch sides bc she likes Diego but this whole cutesy moment where she’s on his shoulder and sharing her coffee with him and feeding him is hella adorable

Awww nooo Klaus

Awww nooo Allison

THREE YEARS SOBRIETY BABY NOOO

GRACE WAS YEEHAWIAN

OH MY GOSH SISSY MADE THE FIRST MOVE

I love that Allison can’t help but let Klaus in and even covers him with a blanket

WHY ARE WE GETTING HIGH ON NITROUS YALL

Wow this is super depressing wtf

GRACE WAS A SCIENTIST did her consciousness just get transferred or something????

Oooh and she was involved in raising Pogo by too

POGO WENT TO SPACE

OH NO POGO

Wow what a mirror of Luther’s accident

I’m sorry was Reginald Hargreeves more of a father to Pogo than the children he adopted

WAIT WAS THE OLD LADY GRACE FROM S1?!?!?

I adore Ben and Klaus but I gotta know if Ben was in love with someone!

Awww Ben thought Allison was discouraging the drinking but once again ONLY BEN CARESS ABOUT KLAUS’S HEALTH

I see no regrets in Sissy’s eyes we are doing well!!!

BEFORE YOU EVEN KNOW YOUR SON YOURE AN ASSHOLE FATHER WTF

That entire conversation between Five, Luther, Diego and Elliot whole Luther was stuffing his mouth with scrambled eggs was just spilling all the tea on S1... Five calling Luther out on squeezing Vanya unconscious, Diego questioning Luther’s feelings for Allison

Ok yknow what everyone needs to stop being so harsh on Vanya

Especially memory addled Vanya

I love that Diego is just exhausted and frustrated and he does accept her apology gracefully

Oh nooooo someone listen to Diego’s girl troubles!!! They really just swerved the poor guy

THIS UMBRELLA REUNION SCENE DAMNNNNN

SO MANY APOLOGIESS

Five has been through so much man seeing his family die MULTIPLE TIMES

TACOS BABEYYY

Bennnnnnnnnnnn we need more time with Ben yo KLAUS ACKNOWLEDGE HIS PRESENCE ASSHOLE

Oho Diego and Luther are finally gonna talk!!

And Luther learned something

KLAUS CALLING OUT ALL THE BULLSHIT YESSSS

And yknow what Five and Delores were the best couple

MORE DANCING

Ahhhhhhhhh noooo Sissy

Oh no now I feel bad for the Swedes. They just lost their brother.

SWEDISH HELLO?!?!?! This is haunting

I’m mad they didn’t fist bump Diego

OH MY GOSH JILL

WHEN REGINALD SLAMS THE DOOR OPEN AND THEYRE ALL SHOCKED SILENT AFTER BICKERING AND SIT DOWN IMMEDIATELY WITHOUT BEING TOLD HOLY SHIT THEY BECAME CHILDREN AGAIN

Klaus LET THEM KNOW BEN IS THERE GODDAMMIT

Wow Reginald goddamn immediately taking notes on them

Oh my god that little playful oops Vanya you baller

Their panic when she decided to showcase her powers bahahahahah

When Diego stutters after his asshole of a father destroys him

Ahh man they really need to care more about Klaus’s health. And he very clearly said “I’m Ben”

What a shitshow family meeting

Lol Luther dragging Klaus out of the elevator while Ben was waiting awkwardly for him to move

That was a weird humanising moment between two old men

OH NO ELLIOTT

NOOOO CARL KNOWSSS

Ahhhhhh poor Elliott

I’m sorry what was up with the Fudge Nutter??? They fully let Aiden slip the f bomb in there

HOLY SHIT I FORGOT FIVE WAS AN EXPERT ASSASSIN HOLY FUCK

Lol Ben and Klaus basically playing chicken on when Ben can possess him again

WHY IS THIS PLAYING LIKE A HORROR MOVIE

Five has got a lot going on right now like damn

OH MY GOSH BEN BOUTTA LIVE HIS DREAMS

Ben really just got sidetracked by what’s in Klaus’s pants huh

Wow Carl you just had to be like this huh

Awwwww wait hang on that Diego-Ben reunion was so sweet!!!

Oh my goodness that standoff between Vanya and Five???? THE TENSION. makes you wonder how powerful Five could be against Vanya

I AM NOT OK. ALLISON AND RAY THO. BEING INTERRUPTED BY THE SWEDES.

BACKSTREET BOYS?!?!?!

Wow Klaus just vomited up Ben

Ohhhhh man I know we’re not meant to like them but Big Brother Swede killing his brother was really sad

This is a wild time this episode idk what ep this even is I haven’t stopped to check but gotta appreciate Luther quietly soaking in the two Fives and then patting down Aiden!Five with a napkin

Rock n roll Herb!!!

BEN NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

HES AN ALIEN. I KNEW THIS BUT HOLY SHIT

Awwwwwwwwwwwww they all came with!!!!

THE ENTIRE FUCKING COMMISSION HOLY SHIT

HOLY SHIT DIEGO BENDING THEM BULLETS

OH FUCK VANYA DECIMATED BABEY

SHE WAS ONE OF THE KIDS????

Aww Diego and Vanya

THAT HAT

OH SHIT THEY FUCKED UP THE TIMELINE

BEN MY LOVE WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU

[number5theboy]

ALRIGHT

THIS SEASON

IT WAS A LOT

my liveblogged thoughts under the cut

Episode 1

·         Exhilarating! I love Ben

·         Ben already has more lines in these first five minutes than he had in the first season

·         This montage is good

·         ALLISON BABY

·         Luther yelled for Diego first I love this

·         Diego is immediately in vigilante mode…….hot

·         THE SHOT PARELLING VANYA’S FIRST WORDS

·         Vanya is a mess we love to see it

·         The shot of Five’s feet hitting the puddle? So aesthetically pleasing

·         The battle scene is such a smart way of reintroducing everyone’s powers and their Final Form™ succinctly

·         I love Hazel. So much.

·         The Umbrella Atomic Explosion™ is SO clever I love it

·         ALRIGHT UNCHARTERED TERRITORY LET’S GOOOOOOOOOOO

·         Oh Hazel and Five make me soft

·         Agnes and Hazel had a good life

·         Hazel is so dead

·         Welp that took no time at all

·         “How many times did I say bulletproof briefcases?” ily mister five

·         I love the Swedes they’re stupid

·         Are we ever gonna know what Agnes made Hazel promise?

·         Five is honestly world’s best character

·         FUTURE HEADQUARTERS

·         “Well the truth is out there!” abkdkblhlkbkhl

·         I shouldn���t make quick judgments, but conspiracy nut guy is nice and I hope he doesn’t turn out evil, because I also through Harold was nice in the beginning

·         Diego got himself arrested already what an idiot

·         Asddjgflkflhfl Diego’s problems all put out

·         Okay, set-up for Diego’s character arc of self-actualisation we love to see it

·         Lila is awesome, but I hope they don’t make her crush on him excessively

·         Diego and Five is an underrated duo

·         THEY ARE SO BICKERY

·         Five is jut gonna murder him sometime along the way

·         I LOVE FIVE SO MUCH WHAT A LITTLE SHIT

·         Oof Vanya is so cute in that outfit

·         This scene perfectly encapsulates women having to listen to men

·         VANYA’S GOING TO MILFTOWN Y’ALL

·         I cannot tell white men apart, does Carl look like conspiracy nut guy or is it just me?

·         As usual, Ben and Klaus are bad at everything

·         “neither does your beard” icon Ben Hargreeves

·         I support Ben pummelling Klaus

·         I passionately hate the beard and love the coat

·         Why do all the white men look alike, I thought this poker dude was a Swede

·         I KNEW BEN WAS LYING

·         “Pick a better time to self-actualise!”

·         I still hate the beard, let’s see if it grows on me

·         Yusuf Gatewood………….hot

·         By far the hottest couple so far in TUA

·         Please tell me she’s not still hung up on Luther

·         Yes she is goddammit

·         The moon thing is cute though, I can appreciate that

·         Luther finally gets a well-soundtracked fight scene I love it

·         OI THAT WAS BRUTAL HOLY SHIT

·         Oh Luther is pulling a Five in feeling bad about his excessive violence

·         I already hate his boss

·         Raymond marry me pls

·         Allison marry me pls

·         OH MY GOD VANYA LAUGHED

·         Sissy and Vanya have excellent chemistry

·         Oh I see the deliberate parallel with Vanya, Umbrella Academy, you aren’t fooling me

·         SWEDISH ASSASSINS BABY

·         Do you think they’ll say a single word or?

·         Literally the only way this show knows how to signal danger is through flickering lights

·         Two bopping fight scene and Five hasn’t been in any of them

·         Lila and Diego have no braincells between them it’s beautiful

·         Alright, she knows how to fight……..supicious

·         If this show wasn’t so hellbent on making Luther and Allison a thing, he would be best ace rep

·         Lmao “I don’t give a shit” I love you Luther

 EPISODE TWO

·         ALRIGHT THE HANDLER IS BACK???????

·         Okay so Hazel and Cha-Cha are dead but that pestilence still runs around??? Bruuuuuuuuuh

·         Kate Walsh is still hot though

·         AJ??????

·         THE FISH SMOKES?!?

·         God the Commission is such a capitalist hellhole

·         Oh there we have 743

·         H E R B

·         Okay I am here to see her humiliated but please no redemption arc for her

·         I love the deliberate parallels between Five and the Handler

·         “Like a masseuse?” IDIOTS

·         Oh Five is so lost and vulnerable baby boy

·         Also the character developments in Luther!!!!!

·         “Dad should’ve left him on the moon.” Five is, simply said, an icon

·         Oof Sissy is SO cute

·         I’m already not ready for Five to find Vanya

·         Lila is so extra can we keep her

·         Great now I have sympathy for Carl

·         Luther’s new outfit looks so good on him

·         OH LUTHER IS THE FIRST ONE TO SEE HER

·         Well that was dramatic and didn’t lead anywhere

·         Alright two episodes in, Civil Rights plotline hasn’t been fucked up yet

·         WHAT THE FUCK IS THE SWEDE DRINKING SO CONSCPICOUSLY

·         ELLIOTT IS THE NAME OF MISTER CONSPIRACY

·         “cousins on my robot mother’s side”

·         “Imagine Batman, then aim lower.”

·         Lila is great I love her

·         Diego is gonna throw both Five and Lila through a wall at some point

·         Five is so ready to throw Diego under the bus

·         Klaus Hargreeves, world’s worst cult leader

·         ……….did Klaus built a cult on pop lyrics?

·         Klaus and Raymond bonding I love it

·         DIEGO AND FIVE BEST TEAM

·         REGINALD IS THE UMBRELLA MAN

·         OH LUTHER IS GONNA FIND HER HOLY SHIT

·         THE BARN FROM THE PROMO PICTURE

·         This scene is so good

·         “You shouldn’t be the one to apologise.” I’M GONNA CRY

·         Tom Hopper and Ellen Page are so good in this scene

·         WHY DID HE LEAVE

·         What the flying fuck is up with the Swedes

·         BRO WHAT THE FUCK

·         Is Five ever gonna bring up the fact that he was supposed to kill Kennedy or?

·         Raymond is wasted on someone who doesn’t give him her whole heart

·         What the FUCK, Klaus

·         Why does she remember her name tho

·         The violin starting up when she talks about the callouses on Vanya’s hands

·         Brotherly bonding is my new favourite scene

·         Do the filmmakers know that your scene can be suspenseful and well-lit

·         Okay maybe baby Pogo is cute

·         There is gonna be no Five murdering spree, the blood is solely from Pogo

·         Next well-soundtracked fight scene

·         The choreography of this!!!!!

·         Man Reginald is a shitty dad before he even becomes a dad

·         Diego cannot catch a break poor baby

 EPISODE 3

·         SHITTY WIG ON KLAUS ALERT

·         THE LEVITATION IS BEN I HATE THIS

·         So far, all title card umbrellas have not disappointed

·         You are running in a straight line you really should hit her

·         Yep, Watchmen flashbacks

·         Luther remains cute and awkward

·         THEY ARE TALKING TO EACH OTHER BABY

·         S E Q U I N S

·         SNEAKY LADY ALLISON IS BACK

·         FINALLY

·         A HUG  

·         Allison and Klaus are so cute

·         What in the goddamn Looney Tunes is this outfit lady

·         WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU LADY

·         ALLISON HARGREEVES YOU QUEEN

·         This spooky ghost show is great

·         Everyone going off on Five is great

·         @ this show stop ripping Vanya and Five apart and let them be soft

·         Diego is so naked this entire season

·         Diego and Lila are a good dynamic

·         Elliott is a babe I love him

·         The Handler continues to be creepy about Five

·         So much driving

·         Luther is baby and Raymond deserves better than to deal with all the baggage from all the Hargreeves brothers

·         HE SHAVED THE BEARD

·         Ouch this is awkward

·         I don’t get why they didn’t cast normal Dave to play young Dave they’re not that far apart in age

·         Oh he’s gonna have to let Dave go

·         Oh this scene must be so triggering

·         Oh shit’s bad and it’s only episode 3

·         PUPPY???

·         WE WERE RIGHT ABOUT LILA

·         WHAT DO YOU MEAN THANKS MOM

 EPISODE 4

·         Oh my god the Handler is pure fucking evil

·         She learnt the fighting from her mom alright

·         THE RED BOOTS WERE THERE ALL ALONG

·         Man I hoped that the antisemitism was gone

·         Vanya being protective of Luther :’)

·         Luther only has shitty father figures

·         I can’t believe they were better organised last season

·         Why do you hate the Vanya/Five dynamic so much, show?

·         Five got an extra dose of asshole today this season huh

·         Reggie is probably the twelfth

·         Oh boy Klaus is a trainwreck

·         That marriage is also a trainwreck

·         I understand Ray though

·         Why is there Styx on this soundtrack

·         Oh Klaus baby

·         GALA NIGHT BITCHES

·         Five is a smart young old man

·         Oh baby is eating his heart out

·         Oh the hug makes me soft though

·         Honestly, Tom Hopper and Emmy Raver Lampman have such cute chemistry

·         AWKWARD DARLING MAN

·         “Doomsday” *nervous chuckle*

·         Ballroom lessons as kids

·         This is an excellent dance scene

·         OH MY GOD MOM WAS MADE AFTER A REAL WOMAN

·         THIS SHOW MAN THIS SHOW

·         Reggie is gross

·         Diego’s mommy AND daddy issues are put on blast this season

·         Sissy is such a babe

·         Man we got budget BUDGET for this season

·         Alright, the white violin can revive people now cool cool cool

·         How different her powers are when powered by love

·         I love Elliott I hope he survives the eason

·         I am down for Luther and Elliott getting high together

·         LET’S GO LESBIIIAAAAAAAAAANS

·         God Allison and Klaus make me so soft

·         I am very supportive of Elliott and Luther becoming bros

·         You already shanked one son, go poker stick another one

·         YES EXCELLENT FIGHT MUSIC

·         They both?????? Just left him to fend for himself??????????

·         Ancient Greek??? Bitch what

·         This show is rated for violence and we have barely seen any!!!!!! What!!!!!!!

 Episode 5

·         Okay baby Pogo and Grace is adorable

·         Why is Pogo in space now

·         THEY KILLED POGO

·         AGAIN

·         Hargeeves got a hug before Five did what the effing fuck

·         He might be a dick but his instincts are good

·         Haha old cowboy

·         Ben is so done

·         Vanya……..Sissy……..my heart

·         Wow Reginald continues to be a massive arse

·         Luther/Diego/Five are DUMB and I love them

·         “No, bro, he shanked your heart.”

·         God the Handler!!!!!!

·         THE MUSIC AT THE REUNION

·         We didn’t even see Five reunite with Allison and Klaus!!!!!

·         GOD WHAT A SISTERLY UPGRADE

·         KLAUS VANYA AND ALLISON HUGGING

·         Allison and Diego rights babey!!!

·         Are the Swedes ever gonna say something or

·         LILA AND FIVE TEAM-UP LET’S GO

·         I’VE MISSED YOU ALL SO MUCH I’M GONNA CRY BABY

·         The red-blue dynamic in Luther and Diego I live for that

·         Luther and Diego are gooooooood together

·         What is up with that

·         Klaus, Vanya and Allison are dumbasses and I love them so much

·         Alright where are the Swedes doing and why is that tree so creepy

·         Oh the youngest Swede just went tits-up

·         Please tell me Five is finally getting a fight scene

·         Excellent fight scene

·         Great, now I feel sad for the Swedes

·         They deffo have a cooler aesthetic than Hazel and Cha-Cha

·         This cover is beautiful

 EPISODE 6

·         This wig looks better than Klaus’

·         Also Ben has barely been in this season where is he at

·         Oof Ray is so cute

·         The Handler and Five have such good chemistry holy shit

·         Diego, Luther and Vanya are a god-tier dynamic

·         We love the CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT

·         BENNY BOY HAS A CRUSH

·         Wait how is this only episode six I feel like this is already the pensum of the first season

·         Clothing montage baby!!!!!

·         God they look so good together

·         Oh Allison can be RUTHLESS

·         THE BINGO CARDS

·         Oh no no no no I didn’t think Klaus and Dave could be even more tragic

·         THEY TALK

·         God she is so fucking creepy stop lusting after a child

·         World’s most satisfying elevator shot

·         This scene is chaos I love it

·         God everyone just harps on Diego’s daddy issues jesus

·         Oh baby no

·         Oh babies no

·         NO NOT THE DISSOLUTION OF TEAM ZERO

·         Why are there so many antisemitic dogwhistles in this

·         This scene between Five and Reginald is good

·         NOT ELLIOTT

·         Oh no no no no Carl

·         Alright at least this promises a good fight scene

 EPISODE 7

·         This polka music bops

·         Wait how did he get to 1982

·         HE SAID FUCK

·         Man Carmichael was out so quick

·         No fish-eating?

·         Awwwww Klaus and Ben have a heart to heart

·         Oh God, Diego and Luther have no brain activity between the two of them

·         That is a Look

·         Oh this montage of Ben rediscovering touch

·         The writing of this show was oddly prophetic

·         Oh wait Vanya’s gonna be incarcerated too right????

·         Oh this is heart-breaking

·         Really?????? Ben’s the dorky one???

·         Oh my god Ben is getting a hug and Diego is so soft

·         Man why are Five and Vanya so antagonistic

·         FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

·         Dude a fight between them would have been so epic

·         Diego

·         You idiot

·         Oh Allison really loves him and he loves her

·         Oh I am so sad

·         Yeah this episode is infinitely worse than the day that wasn’t

·         FUCK YEAH BACKSTREET BOYS

·         What the fuck

·         Yo that is sadistic as fuck Allison what the flying fuck

·         This scene might ruin the song for me

·         There definitely was an easier way out

·         They fucked it up

·         I am not surprised

 EPISODE 8

·         Oh she speaks Russian

·         Five just snapped and honestly deserves it

·         Yeah I feel for the Swede

·         What is it with commission assassins and axes this season

·         “Your vagina needs fresh glasses.”

·         Nepotism

·         Oh Grace is turning on him baby!!

·         Ha remember when we were all like ‘oh no they’re making Reggie sympathetic’

·         Yeah so much for that

·         Five and Luther are……..soft

·         What the fuck is up with that

·         AYYYY BUTTHOLE SURFERS ON THE SOUNDTRACK

·         Oooooohhhhhhh trippy kid scene

·         Also Reggie is bad at German

·         I love Luther and Five so much

·         We finally get to see older Five’s tie pattern

·         Alright Lila makes me uncomfortable

·         FIVE IS GONNA GO FERAL Y’ALL LET’S GO

·         Man after the last rampage you’d think they’d upped security in this place

·         Herb for president!!

·         Some catch Diego’s ego is going berserk

·         Oh not again

·         Dot is a rebel now

·         Everyone is ragging on Five, even Five

·         This is so trippy

·         Oh yeah the brains. Forgot about those.

·         I……….sad

·         Oh my god oh my god oh my god

·         Of course it’s all the government’s fault

·         Love how they just walked into an FBI building

·         Bro what the fuck is going on

EPISODE 9

·         Allison is always there for Vanya and I love her

·         Hello Klaus and Diego are so cute

·         Oh my heart you go Klaus

·         So much for that

·         BUT BEN

·         YOU ARE CLIFF-HANGERING BE INSIDE AN EPISODE

·         Crazy Five is an idiot I love him

·         “I’m the daddy here” is not the gazelle, but it’ll do in a pinch

·         The 743!!!!!!

·         Oh God, Harlan is in danger

·         She loves him?!? You barely know the man!!!!!!

·         WHAT’S ON THE PAPER

·         Oh it’s her file

·         HELLO LET US SEE THE FIVES TYING TO OFF EACH OTHER

·         This continues to be trippy

·         These visuals are so stunning

·         This is my favourite scene so far, this is so good, this is an excellent talk

·         NO

·         NOT BEN

·         NOT BEN

·         “I’m askin’, Carl.” You go Sissy, love you, you’re doing excellent

·         Alright, we have a mini-Vanya here

·         Oh I hate the Handler so fucking much she is the worst

·         What a plot-twist

·         Oh god so much is going on in this season

·         Oh we get fish-eating, but it’s not Five? That’s lame

·         Why are they all so hell-bent on making stupid decisions

·         Klaus you idiot

·         Oh that SON OF A BITCH HARGREEVES

·         What the fuck what is on the dark side of the moon

·         What the flying fuck what the fuck what tebdjbdgkbjdsgkbjgsdjgnj

·         WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU’RE GOING TO WAR

 EPISODE 10

·         Oh the kids are back for Ben’s funeral

·         I hate this

·         Reginald is just. The worst.

·         My emotions are all over the place

·         Oh……..babies

·         OH MY GOD DIEGO

·         AND FIVE

·         It wouldn’t hurt to go to an abandoned farm

·         God this is a family of shitty choices

·         I don’t want Ben to be gone

·         FAMILY TIME

·         Oh shit I totally forgot about the last Swede

·         BRO THE STAKES

·         YEAH THIS LOOKS BAD

·         ALRIGHT Harland is gonna be alright

·         All these assassins have shit aim

·         HE’S MATRIXING

·         LILA’S ONE OF THE 43

·         SHE CAN ABSORB AND REDIRECT THEIR ENERGIES

·         ONE OF THEM ONE OF THEM ONE OF THEM

·         Awwwwww they love each other

·         Oh great THEY’RE DEAD AGAIN

·         Oh now LILA will have to fix the timeline

·         Wait now they’re all dead

·         The swede to the rescue?

·         Please tell me she’s dead for good this time

·         We love a de facto protagonist saving everyone’s asses once more

·         GO VANYA SAVE THE BABY

·         Dot and Herb are precious dumbasses

·         This is heart-breaking, but I understand Sissy so much

·         WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS CLIFFHANGER

[papermoonloveslucy]

TALKING SHOP

June 25, 1967

ON CAMERA, LUCILLE BALL is the funniest female in America. They gave her a second Emmy early this month to attest to the fact. 

With the cameras turned off, she is an interesting combination of several people - hard-headed business woman, mother concerned and even outraged at some of the things being done to today's children, and talented actress who, happily, does not feel a need to keep reminding everyone around her she is a talented actress. 

The last is an attribute rare among Hollywood's distaff division. 

It was in Hollywood this writer met Miss Ball recently and talked with her at Desilu Productions, formerly the old RKO movie studios. Lucille once worked for RKO for $50 a week; now she is president of Desilu and in the process of selling it - for 17 million dollars. 

I let a tape recorder run while we talked. So, take the stand, Miss Ball. 

Q. You've sold Desilu to Gulf & Western Industries for all those millions. Have you turned over control yet? 

A. No, not yet. We haven't signed, or had the stockholders meeting, but it's coming up, and to all intents and purposes the deal is going thru. 

Q. What are you going to do then? What about next year will there be a Lucy Show on television in 1968-69? [The coming 1967-68 season is the sixth for the program, never out of the Top Ten.] 

A. I don't know. I never know about a next year until it comes. They [CBS-TV officials] always start asking me in December, and I tell them in March, April, or May. 

Q. Then you don't know whether you'll do another year of Lucy Shows after 1967-68, or some other series, or what? 

A. O, I wouldn't do any other series, ever. I may do the Lucy Show again, and I may not. I may just do movies. I really have no idea, not now. 

Q. Don't you ever reach a point where you'd like to put your feet up and not do anything, just loaf, with all that money? 

A. Sure I have a wish to put my feet up, but only because I've earned it and have something to go back to. To put them up forever wouldn't interest me. I can enjoy a vacation because it has an end. 

Q. What is there to stories about you being peeved because CBS is planning to build a show around Doris Day next year? There were reports in gossip columns. 

A. They didn't come from Doris Day or from me, and both of us are embarrassed. The story is true they have asked her to do something, and there apparently was an assumption by someone they were asking her to be available in case I stop. 

Q. But the story is you were angry because they were planning to put so much money into this Doris Day thing, to make it so big? 

A. Those are just lines people put in. I haven't any reason to be peeved, no reason to be anything but embarrassed. It doesn't matter to me, one way or the other, what they do. 

Q. In your biography, provided by your publicity agent, it says that when you were a 15-year-old you enrolled in the John Murray Anderson dramatic school in New York City, and that the first lines you read caused the instructor to "close his eyes in disbelief." Did that happen, and what were the lines? 

A. [Laughing] Something about water and horses, and I said "warter" and "horrrses," and he imitated me and then kind of gave up in disgust. 

Q. After that, you were a chorus girl on Broadway? 

A. [More laughter] Nope, never got in a chorus. I had several jobs, but always got fired before a show opened. 

Q. Why? 

A. I just didn't measure up. I was tall enough and young enough to be a show girl, but I guess I just didn't make any impression. 

A switch in the interview came about here. Lucille asked a question - How far from Chicago is Northwestern University? 

"My daughter Lucie [15 years old] is interested in the drama school there," she explained. "A lot of great people have come from it, so it evidently has a fine way of teaching. I suggested it to Lucie, in fact, so she could be thinking about it, because she is interested in acting." 

WHAT, we wanted to know, did Miss Ball think of the practice of "aiming" shows at the younger generation, of trying to capture such viewers thru sensationalism and sex. 

She had thoughts on the subject, angry ones. Yes, it's being done, she said, and deliberately, in TV. 

"But they are doing it in movies even more, and in books even more, more, more," she said. "I see motion pictures my children have seen, and I tell them, You went to THAT movie - They let you in THAT theater - I don't believe it.'

"Further, I can't believe kids can walk up to a rack in a store and buy the books they can buy today. I just can't believe it, but there the books and magazines are, in any stand all over the country." 

Lucille Ball has been "Lucy" on television for 11 years now, from 1951 to 1957 in the I Love Lucy series, and since 1962 in the Lucy Show. 

Who is Lucy and what is she like? We asked because characters on the home screens seem to develop real personalities of their own. Lucille Ball recognized this in her answer; she talked as tho of a living person, not an image on celluloid. 

"Lucy is very much like I am, I've found, in her sincerity and her enthusiasm, almost childish enthusiasm, and in her exaggerations and disappointments," Lucille said. "And these are the things we play on in the show. 

"We've found thru the years people love Lucy because she gets into predicaments they can understand. And we've found out something else that any man or woman playing opposite Lucy must be careful never to show what looks like real anger towards Lucy, because that will bring the audience down upon them. 

"They must be long suffering in enduring the troubles Lucy causes. If they seem really impatient with our gal, viewers will say - in hundreds of letters - 'My gosh, don't you know Lucy didn't really mean to do that to you?" 

Maybe it's just that Lucille, herself, attracts such sympathy from audiences. Because, back when she was playing the wife on radio's My Favorite Husband, the husband [Richard Denning] also had to be careful not to sound really angry at her on the air. 

"If he did," she giggled, "letters poured in. The ones to him would say, 'How can you treat her that way?' And those to me would announce, 'You should have a more understanding husband.' Poor Richard, he couldn't win." 

It seems possible. We felt mighty friendly, ourself, towards this Lucy, just from talking with her for an hour. 

#   #   #

FOOTNOTES FROM THE FUTURE

The sale of Desilu went through as anticipated at the end of 1968. Lucy chose to re-invent “The Lucy Show” as “Here’s Lucy” renting space from Paramount and creating her own production company, Lucille Ball Productions.  

The photo included with the article is from “Lucy the Stunt Man” (TLS S4;E5) aired on October 18, 1965.

CBS created a sitcom for Doris Day titled “The Doris Day Show”.  Like Lucy Carmichael and Lucy Carter, Day played a widow with two children living in California.  Like Ball, Day used her own first name for her character, Doris Martin. After one season on Tuesday nights, “The Doris Day Show” moved to Monday’s at 9:30pm, right after “Here’s Lucy” where ratings instantly improved. 

Both shows had a very recognizable cast member in common - Nelson, the sheep dog. Other cast connected to “Lucy” were Kaye Ballard, Jackie Joseph (Ken Berry’s wife), Strother Martin, and Van Johnson. Other actors recognizable to Lucy fans were Mary Wickes, Barbara Pepper, Charles Lane, Jerry Hausner, Ross Elliott, Bobby Jellison, Lou Krugman, Shirley Mitchell, Parley Baer, Madge Blake, and many, many others. 

[problematic-camren]

Thoughts on Down

This is a long-ass shit, and I’m not forcing you to read. Also, please be reminded that this is just MY opinion. We all have different opinions, and I’m here to simply share my thoughts, and not to convince you to change yours. So please don’t go to my ask pushing your opinion. I already heard yours. I woke up to a bunch of “asks” and I already know that some don’t like it, while some do.

My initial reaction:

• why is this so auto-tuned? Okay, Dinah’s voice sounds like smooth warm caramel on top of a sundae. Why is this so basic? Lauren’s adlibs tho! Why are the lyrics so generic? Oooh WFH melody… It’s gonna be a bop! Wait why is the chorus so blandly repetitive? But it’s not that bad. Why do they sound so alike?

• and picture me with my earphones on listening to the first verse, pre-hook, chorus and shit with a pensive look on my face, and disappointment running through my head like damn I wanted more…

But then Gucci Mane came in, (and I know I’m the minority in this one), but for me, the first authentic reaction the song elicited from me was his part.

Why? Because his part was so off and out of nowhere that it took me out of the rut I was in. Like imagine a flat line where the song was just monotonous, like a car cruising on a smooth freeway (not bad, but also kind of boring) but then you run into a pothole and you get jerked off your stupor…

That’s what gucci’s part was for me. A tiny spike on that flat line. A deviation that held my attention. I’m not saying it’s amazing. I’m saying that the grating sound of the bass and the randomness of it was what made me smile while listening to it. I’m not even exaggerating when I say that I was smiling the whole time I was listening to that weird bass with a tiny bit of goosebumps on my skin because I knew then that I COULD like Down without lying to myself. It was the only thing that caught my attention, aside from Lauren’s adlibs (which, girl, I wish she did more. I live for Lauren going offffff)

Don’t get me wrong though, I’m so done with these collabs with rappers, like I wanted to hear them alone, like they did with Boss (idc if you say that one is trash lmao, Boss is a bop for me. I fucking love that shit 😂), but if they really have to collab with rappers, I wish it wasn’t Gucci. Maybe Chance, or Migos damn…

But if it were up to me, I wish they would have collabed with female rappers. I still am salty that NTKG wasn’t utilized much. A missed opportunity with Missy Elliott like bitch you had to release TMG over NTKG? NTKG was at least more authentic with the sound it’s trying to project. It was old school and it owned it. Like Voicemail was reminiscent of 90’s bops and not lacing it with today’s trendy dancehall or tropical vibe. It has its own sound, and not a mix of everything generic we hear today where we hear a song and we automatically hear the edm producers more than the artist.

But OMG I digress, sorry.

So yeah, DOWN…

So after my initial reaction, I gave it a couple more listen, and then I watched the live performance, then I slept, then I woke up the next day and I listened to the audio a couple more times, watched the live several more, and here’s my conclusion:

• Down is that kind of a summer bop which grows on you. It’s not a bad song. It’s simplistic but also season-friendly. It’s probably what the label insisted on as their first release.

The reason why it probably feels lacking for me, aside from its repetitiveness, is that maybe it lacks another verse. It’s shorter than WI and WFH so it feels incomplete. There must be a reason for it. It could really be just a teaser.

• at this point in my 5h-stanning life, I’m not even expecting anything mind-blowing. All I want is for 5H to slay the charts, because this should be their era. They seem genuinely happy now and my god after everything they’ve been through (label shit and all), ALL FIVE OF THEM deserve our unwavering support.

• Sure, Down isn’t what I expected. Yes, I wanted more. I wanted more lyrics. I wanted a kickass sound. But, idk man, after several repeats, I think it’s a good enough bop.

• with regards to the vocals, I still hate the auto-tuned shit. I get that maybe they’re finally utilizing Lauren’s range, but I prefer that they don’t auto tune much because I could barely hear her rasp (which was still obvious in her live performance, despite the higher tone she’s using).

Maybe they’re doing it on purpose, making them sound the same as a symbol of their new sound’s “cohesiveness”, but I prefer old 5h where their voices are uniquely different.

• and I’m not even complaining that it sounds like WFH. I don’t have a problem with an artist using a tried and tested formula for ONE of their album’s single. It’s meant to hook the audience. It gives them that familiar sound which could make a NON-FAN recognize their older hits and draw them to the new one. Just because they said “NEW ERA” doesn’t mean that they should change their ENTIRE sound. There’s always that one or two singles that are meant to hook the general public. It’s a constant compromise a mainstream artist makes with their label.

(I mean, The Chainsmokers basically generate the same sound over and over and they’re charting as if they created music. And no, I’m not a big fan of the chainsmokers.

Point is, re-using WFH is not something unheard of. It’s a business move.)

You really can’t please everybody. Because when Lady Gaga released an album that felt authentic for her, some people criticized it and kept saying they wanted the old “Bad Romance” Gaga. When Lorde released her new single, Green Light, her hipster fanbase called her a sell-out and didn’t like that she’s deviated from her “sound” to be more mainstream and I was like bitch can’t an artist explore a different side of her artistry?

And on the flip side, can’t an artist use their old sound? My point is, Down was produced by the same people who made WFH for a reason. They are playing safe. They wanted a single that would generate enough attention like their previous ones did. Then maybe, just maybe, their next singles which probably showcase their authentic sound and lyrics will have as much impact since now people are paying attention. Because no matter how much we want them to be authentic, they’re still a girl group under a greedy ass label who needs them to maintain what their idea of a girl group music and image should be..

And while Down is not something I’m particularly excited about, it’s starting to get stuck in my head, and I don’t hate it. It’s a light summery chill song that’s good to play with your friends while sipping on your drinks by the pool. It is what it was supposed to be.

I get it, I was disappointed too. Down is a downer. But I’m not gonna judge the whole album with one single yet. I’m gonna wait.

This is why I wrote this one before Down was released:

https://problematic-camren.tumblr.com/post/161338803713/5h3

Because I knew that I wasn’t expecting much from their music. I sure hope for more, definitely, BUT stanning 5H isn’t always about their music.

And just because I don’t like a few of their songs, doesn’t mean they don’t deserve my support.

I’m supporting 5h because they represent girls who are not a standard definition of what society thinks a girl should look like or how they should act like. They symbolize us. They showed us that one can achieve their dreams through hard work, and while they have been mistreated before (by their label and by fans alike) they still kept their heads up high, with grace and maturity, and kept on spreading love and inspiration, and they kept on smiling even if their hearts were breaking. They kept striving to be the best they could be, and it’s inspiring. And to see genuine warmth from these pop stars, their love and appreciation for their fans, is something that makes me wanna stan them forever. That’s why even if i really don’t like their music, I’d still keep on stanning them, because what they shared to us, the representation they gave us, the beauty and poise they all showed us, man, even if they fucking screeched for an entire album, I’ll be fuucking putting that on loop and still support their asses.

And I know it’s blind support, but I knew what I was getting into when I started supporting 5h. I wasn’t a pop person before this, I knew I won’t love their music so much. I stan them because I like them, plain and simple.

And I know it’s different for everybody. It’s all just a matter of preferences. Some could unstan just coz they don’t like the song, and that’s totally okay. We’re free to stan or unstan whoever we want. But like I said, it’s just one song. Let’s wait for the other singles and the album.

Ideally, I would love for them to show us everything they have as artists. This is their chance to go big. They have so much potential and I would have liked to see it shine while they’re still in the group. I want the brand Fifth Harmony to leave a lasting mark in this industry. I want them to be on the same spot as TLC or SG or DC. I want them to legit deserve their title.

And Down is not it. But guess what? Down is just one single. I’m gonna wait patiently for the rest of their stuff. I ONLY NEED THAT ONE CLASSIC HIT I’VE BEEN CRAVING FOR SINCE I STARTED LISTENING TO THEM. ONE CLASSIC SONG THAT WOULD STILL BE PLAYED GENERATIONS LATER BECAUSE IT’S JUST SO DAMN RELATABLE AND HEARTFELT.

That’s all I want. And I hope I’ll find that in 5H3.

Yes, Down is empty.

But I won’t unstan just because of one song. We can be disappointed (as I sure was), but I think that 5H is worth more than a few musical disappointments.

💁🏻