#mamoonde fics

[mamoonde]

i really really want more modern cultivation au secret genius wei wuxian who just drops mind-blowing revolutionary theories and innovations anonymously under a stupid ass middle school pen name like yLlingla0zuxX

comical plot twist:

lan qiren has a secret hobby ever since he discovered the joys of Online Cultivation Forums, especially one where he can scout for people with Massive Potential and/or Brilliant Ideas and offer to help them formalize their ideas into actual Papers (or discover Horrible ones and send them better reference materials).

of course, Internet etiquette sanctifies anonymity so lan qiren doesn't press for personal information from the few brilliant minds he meets. he has a good instinct for identifying the younger ones from the tried and true experts, and this yLlingla0zuxX clearly is an esteemed veteran.

his methods may seem scattered, but lan qiren is Most Willing to Invest in the Time to help this esteemed cultivator get the merit and proper consideration his ideas deserve. under the very proper alias: GrandArchivist.

GrandArchivist reaches out to yLlingla0zuxX offering to help him flesh out his innovations so yLlingla0zuxX can get it published and patented as Proper.

yLlingla0zuxX is reluctant at first, but agrees to do it. he shares a gee doc link.

it takes a while, but - between lan qiren's initial bafflement at real-time collaboration and yLlingla0zuxX's erratic and rambling thoughts - they manage to publish it.

offscreen:

GrandArchivist reaches out to his nephew A-Huan how this gee doc works and if he's Sure it's not a bad virus or phishing scam link or anything. he opens the link to see. bulleted paragraphs??? paragraphed bullet points??? either way, the most horrible draft he's ever seen... typing itself???? a-huan, are you certain this yLlingla0zuxX has not hacked my computer?

[wangxianficrecs]

🔒 baby fever by Mamoonde

🔒 baby fever

by Mamoonde (@mamoonde)

T, WIP, 4k, Wangxian

Summary: Lan Zhan wakes to a pounding on his door in the middle of the night. For a moment, he assumes Wei Ying must’ve come over after all. Instead, it is Jiang Cheng, soaked and covered in mud, and holding a child— A child who looks up sheepishly, with the same light grey eyes as Wei Ying. “I told him we didn’t need to bother you, but he insisted you would want to help.” Jiang Cheng says. or: yet another wwx age regression fic. but modern cultivation au. Kay's comments: Ah, this is so cute and funny! And also the first time I've seen an age-regression story where the de-aged person in question retains their adult mind, which makes it even funnier how immediately Lan Zhan is hit with baby fever and the need to baby-proof the entire house. Excerpt: He almost starts counting the years, but this child looks to be around 2 or 3 years old. Even though he and Wei Ying have been intimate immediately after getting together, they have only tried dual cultivation once. And even if a child might have resulted from such, it’s only been three months… Surely he would’ve noticed such a huge development? His fantasies of having a family with Wei Ying have only ever been in the abstract. Their relationship still feels so new and miraculous at times and he’s loathe to jinx things by being greedier than he already is. Yet now, confronting it in reality — he wants— “Well?” Jiang Cheng snaps, cutting his thoughts from spiraling further. Lan Zhan blinks. “Of course. I would also care for. Any child of Wei Ying’s.” “What? What’re you—” Jiang Cheng sputters. The child breaks into peals of laughter then – and it’s so patently Wei Ying’s that it makes something in him ache. “Lan Zhan, ah Lan Zhan!” The boy lunges forward, and Lan Zhan scrambles to catch him. The boy pats his cheek, and Lan Zhan’s world stills again. “What 'child of mine'—haha! It’s me, Lan Zhan – it’s your Wei Ying!”

pov alternating, modern setting, modern with magic, age regression/de-aging, de-aged wei wuxian, fluff and humor, crack treated seriously, established relationship, baby fever, good sibling jiang cheng, junior quartet dynamics, adorable juniors

~*~

(Please REBLOG as a signal boost for this hard-working author if you like – or think others might like – this story.)

[mamoonde-thinks]

once again am at that point in writing where i'm begging for the scene to write itself fhjkdsfjdkslfh

[mamoonde]

thinking about a canon div au where lwj goes to yunmeng jiang the summer after gusu lectures, walks in just in time to see a sweaty half-naked wwx, his dirtied training robe left hanging around his waist where it's tucked into his trousers and belt, tousling with equally sweaty and dirty junior disciples (only a handful of them are in equal states of undress).

wwx spots him half a minute later, right after demonstrating the proper archery stance to another disciple. the moment he does, he blinks, then brightens, dropping the bow to make his way towards lwj.

all six feet (how is he suddenly so tall?!) of him, sunkissed skin, toned chest and stomach bare and gleaming with sweat.

lwj can hardly breathe. his right hand is a tight fist behind his back. he imagines his frayed tether to his sanity in his desperate grip.

wwx is in his usual teasing lwj mode, especially now that he's a solid 2 inches taller than lwj (for at least the summer), back turned to his silly shidis shooting kites, revelling in lwj's attention—

his hand moves before he can think, snatching the arrow in midair an arm's length from them.

lwj had been so preoccupied he hadn't even noticed it before wwx had suddenly turned and seemingly plucked it out of thin air.

wwx clicks his tongue. "watch it, guys; i can't have lan zhan thinking i'm a crappy teacher!" he chucks the arrow as though it were a spear, where it lands dead center at a target.

lwj desperately recites the gusu lan precepts about restraint and proper conduct in his head. mostly, he would like to – needs to – lie down.

"but you are a crappy teacher!" one of the disciples retorted. "you all but left us for dead the moment you saw some handsome gongzi!"

"what, am i supposed to choose you stinky lot over a handsome er-gege?!" wwx snorts then turns back to lwj with a grin.

please don't notice my traitorous body, please, please, please, lwj prays desperately.

"sorry about that, lan zhan! these guys still only hit about half the kites—oh? do my eyes deceive me?" wwx leans closer, a mischievous glint in his eyes.

before lwj can step back to safety, wwx's hand grazes the tips of his ears. end me now.

"my poor dear lan-er-gege, has the yunmeng sun already given you sunburn? your ears are as red as my hair ribbon!" wwx cackles, then grasps his sleeve, tugging him towards the pavilions. "don't you worry, i'll take good care of you, lan zhan! shijie should know where to get salves to soothe the stings."

lwj swallows, wanting to collapse right there and then if that wouldn't only add to his mortification. he eyes the lakes. maybe if he could just stay there the entire summer...

[mamoonde]

mdzs ancient magus bride au where

yiling laozu is the mage risen from the nightmares and resentful energy of the burial mounds, neither human nor fae

and lan zhan is a pre-adolescent, rare and very coveted dragon halfling, one of the last known alive, captured and sold at an underground auction.

the yiling laozu buys lan zhan to rescue him and takes him away to their remote little cottage in yiling. lan zhan is understandably mistrustful at first, but a week of living with this strange, kind, dark being who treats him as a person instead of a slave or rare artifact, well.

lan zhan falls.

and when lan zhan proposes to stay by the yiling laozu's side forever and ever and be his, the yiling laozu laughs it off and brushes it off as the whimsy of a duckling imprinting on the first carer it meets. a fleeting childish phase. perhaps lan zhan has more human in him than dragon, the yiling laozu thinks. they are always so easily swayed by emotion...

but lan zhan is determined.

and so, as lan zhan grows up, he learns more about his dragon-side, his magic, his whole self. and he trains hard to be a suitable for the yiling laozu. he takes note of the yiling laozu's likes and dislikes, carefully tests his boundaries, tries his best to show how much he loves the yiling laozu in every way.

and then when lan zhan comes of age, he gets discovered by his kind - he learns he has a dragon brother and a paternal uncle. he leaves to spend a year with them, with his kind, far and protected in the unreachable mountains of gusu.

when he leaves the yiling laozu's cottage - a place that's felt like home more than any he remembers - he's barely shoulder-height (head-to-head if they count his antlers) of the man who makes it home.

the yiling laozu waves goodbye, feels a bit of pain and heaviness in his chest and thinks, oh, this must be what "missing someone" feels like.

the year trudges on like a slug.

the yiling laozu misses lan zhan more and more, sees his tiny serious face in every little nook in his - their - home. which should be weird, because he has had this house for longer than lan zhan has been here. and yet it feels incomplete to be in it without lan zhan there.

so he spends less and less time in it, spends his days where it's less empty, hoping the loneliness will fade away.

it doesn't.

until one day, as the yiling laozu drags his feet back to his house - dreading another night in a cold, empty space - he finds something is different.

the lights are on and there's a fire going.

and outside, on his doorstep, there's someone there.

the person standing by his door is huge - tall and broad, maybe something familiar in the regal set of the shoulders, the stiff-but-not posture.

it's the golden eyes that freezes the breath in his lungs, that force his feet to move, like a lighthouse guiding him home.

"lan zhan...?"

the yiling laozu feels strange. he feels light and heavy at the same time, hot and prickly even though the air remains the same temperature.

the lan zhan before him is more dragon, more man now than boy. so much of him has changed -- has his gaze always been so intense?

"i have come back," lan zhan's voice has lost its adorable pitchiness; now it is deep and smooth. like rumbling thunder, the call of the heavens. "wei ying."

the yiling laozu freezes. the name - those two syllables that no one has called him by in-- in a long, long time.

it feels like lightning in his bones.

distantly, his own words echo back at him, spoken to a then younger lan zhan.

"if you still feel that way when you come of age, you can call me by my name." "what is your name?" "now that is a secret! only if you are determined to call me can you do so." a small pout. "already am."

"oh, lan zhan..."

"though my mother was human, the dragon blood in me is strong." gently, lan zhan takes his hand in his. "did you know? dragons only love once. for the rest of their lives."

wei ying smiles shakily, " that's a shame then, surely you want a redo?"

lan zhan's hold tightens, another hand cupping his face.

"never." lan zhan presses a gentle kiss on his knuckles, almost an affectionate nuzzle that washes wei ying's hand with a cool breath. "i will only ever want wei ying. i will always want to be by your side."

and isn't that a tantalizing offer.

the yiling laozu has lived long - longer than even he remembers. and the immortality has only ever hammered in the fleetingness of life, the loneliness of time.

and yet here lan zhan is, offering him the promise of something a little more permanent. perhaps it was fate that wei ying had chosen to settle down in a house in yiling, a scant few decades before he met lan zhan.

perhaps it was a sign, that wei ying only ever called it home, when lan zhan was there to call it home, too.

[mamoonde]

thinking about wcz seeming the "calmer/less reactive" parent (and he usually is) so wwx typically confided in his dad more... until wwx tells his dad "offhandedly" about his cool new friend in school who's really smart and funny and "perfect-looking, honestly" for over an hour, to which, wcz just "hmm"s and "ahh"s and "i see"s from where he's "tinkering w a talisman" (but has actually ruined the paper with huge blobs of ink).

wwx retires to his room with a, "we're gonna be best friends, i can tell!" and wcz chokes out a, "uh-huh, that's nice, a-ying."

and the moment the door closes, wcz dashes out of the study to where cssr is rush-ironing out their formal robes for the conference tomorrow (like he knew she would even though he'd reminded her about it everyday for the past 2 weeks) and blurts out in a panic, "A-YING IS IN LOVE!"

CSSR: He is? Really? And he told you that?? WCZ: Well, no, not exactly, he claims to wanna be this boy's best friend, but- CSSR: so why are you freaking out about this? it's just a friend- WCZ: No, you don't understand, he's your son, he had that look and- CSSR: Hey, what's that supposed to mean?! WCZ: He talked about the boy's 'perfect hair' for 15 mins and every other way he's perfect for the rest of the hour. CSSR: Oh. Huh. He is my son then. Who's the boy? Did he say? Maybe we can look him up! WCZ: No, he didn't, but that's not the point! A-Ying, our baby!!! Is in love!!!?!?!! CSR: And? WCZ: And!! He'll want to marry the boy!!! And move out!!! And never wanna see us again!!!! 😭 CSSR: Hold your horses there, buddy. If they do get married, which I imagine isn't going to be any time soon, I will demand visits, especially with the grandchildren- WCZ: Grandchildren!?!??!?! Nooo, not my baby!!! He's still too young for such things! CSSR: Our boy is almost 20, baba. WCZ: Yes, but he's our boy 🥺 CSSR: And he always will be, but remember, we weren't that much older when we made him- WCZ: Cangse...! CSSR: -and anyway, if you're feeling the empty nest now, we could always make another... 😘 WCZ: 😳 A-ahem. You should, uh. You'll burn our robes again.

Much Later in the Wei Household

CSSR pats WCZ's hand where it lay on her bare stomach. "There, another one cooking."

WCZ snorts. "Your period starts in two days, love, I highly doubt it."

"Spoilsport." CSSR blows a raspberry at him, then sighs with a smug smile. "Wait 'til I tell Qiren about this! We may not be Lans, but we Weis do fall pretty hard, you know." She boops his nose.

WCZ smiles. "That we do."

[mamoonde]

if wwx were a public figure (like a legit science/physics geek with a phd who organizes science festivals/makes fun sci experiments on ytb) ppl would have a lot of fun making parody accts of him always mooning over olympic medalist figure skater lwj

wwx complains that he doesn't sound THAT much of a simp, except his followers come at him with receipts - videos of interviews where he brings up lwj unasked/unrelatedly - videos of panels where he gushes abt lwj's quad jumps - timeline-span tweets of his rts of lwj fan accts

even his own phd colleagues who had to peer-review his latest article come at him with snippets of the heavily edited out paper where they had to remove chunks of anecdotes feat. lwj

wwx is a good sport tho and thanks the fan accts who supply him with HD photos of lwj mid-jump / during rehearsals one follower makes a fanart of "the universe accdg to wwx" and it's a collection of galaxies that form a picture of lwj and wwx rts it and asks permission to print

one of them goes to far tho, tweeting: "i am (wwx is) a flat earther bcuz my world is lwj's ass" wwx screencaps the twt "1 that is factually untrue on many accts. 2 only I can talk abt my husband's ass." then blocks acct. lwj fans also mass block and report the acct

hd photos of lwj's "not flat" ass floods the tl. it even trends. lwj's ears burn the whole time that week's family dinner. its ok wwx eats him out for a long time that week. also maybe lwj wears those ass-emphasizing leggings to rehearsals that week 😏🤭

[mamoonde]

continuation of part 1

Wei Ying doesn't get the green light from Wen Qing. He doesn't get the chance to.

Even with the cursed item of dubious origins -- er, well, more dubious than usual -- stored under Wei Ying's best containment talismans and protective arrays, he can feel dark tendrils of resentment energy leaking, hissing in his ears.

He ends up closing the shop early, hours before sunset. He puts up more heavy duty protective talismans (albeit self-made, not that they've failed him before) around the shop's walls, doors and windows. Just in time too, as the seals around the puzzle box barely light up anymore on his phone.

Oddly enough, nothing happens either other than pin drop silence.

Well, that's not creepy at all. Wei Ying thinks.

The puzzle box is fairly simple to solve. A twist of the odd knob, a camouflaged panel that slides into an invisible latch, and a couple other easy tricks before the top unlocks with a loud clack.

Wei Ying barely has time to brace himself before darkness engulfs the shop.

"Fuck!"

Having encountered more than his fair share of cursed objects, things filled with resentment, Wei Ying knows what to expect. The ice needles digging in his veins; the heaviness driving his heart to the pit of his stomach; despair that's his and isn't seeping into his bones. He's used to hearing the voices of corrupted souls attached, echoes of the strangers passed, wailing in his head. Those are pretty much par for the course.

He isn't prepared to feel them a thousandfold over, all at once. Nor is he prepared for the strange, bone-chilling feeling of familiarity.

Welcome back, master.

A thousand voices hiss and croon and purr and growl in unison, and it's creepy as fuck.

What the fuck are you?

Inside, sits an iron tiger amulet, nestled in faded silk. Innocuous enough, except, it looks like a replica of the Yin Tiger Seal. It's worn and frankly crudely hewn, clearly not the work of a master toolmaker. For the purported source of evil and chaos that once had the cultivation world in near shambles, it sure doesn't look it.

But given what just happened, Wei Ying doesn't think it's just a mere replica.

In fact, this might really just be the real deal.

(And he's not a fan of the mocking way they call him 'master' either. Yeah, that doesn't seem to bode well for him.)

[mamoonde]

modern au for cssr x wcz

where cssr is a touring pop indie artist and one night after a set where she performed brooklyn baby (lana del rey) in a bar/club, wcz the bartender serves her drink and asks, "is your boyfriend really cool?"

cssr blinks, gives him a (slow) once over, smiles.

"depends. are you?"

mama wei got soooooooo much game i just know it. she knew it, wielded it, killed (metaphorically) with it.

baba wei got game. didn't know it. didn't flaunt it. poured delicious cocktails w his sleeves rolled up his forearms and a genial smile and assumed everybody else got the same insane amount of tips every night.

cssr chatted wcz up, and wcz responded in kind without expectation. when a persistent guy wouldn't take the hint, less so the blunt 'no,' wcz deftly deals with him with a mere forbidding look and even (dangerous) tone.

cssr took him home that night.

wcz thought that was it. and was proven wrong.

cssr kept coming back, night after night, even when she didn't have to perform, reveling in doing the chasing for once.

wcz thought cssr who lived that kind of wild carefree lifestyle couldn't possibly 'settle' for a guy like him. and yet cssr is sooooooooooo gone for him.

some spurned loser: you know she's just playing with you, right? cssr will never be tied down, least of all by you

wcz: thank you for your concern, but i'm afraid you're not my type. and i would be a fool to even think about tying cangse down. she loves being a free spirit and i wouldn't change her for the world

cssr: marry me

🔞 later in wcz's apartment 🔞

wcz breaks off their kiss. "you could have any man... why me?"

"can't i just want you? don't you want me too?" cssr pouts playfully, tugging at his hair.

wcz gives in and kisses her again. "you can. i do. so much." he says between kisses.

and then they don't speak again until they're both undressed on wcz's bed, cssr straddling wcz with him deep inside her.

"those men only want to own me, control me--" cssr gasps. "make me a trophy to display at home. but you," she rolls her hips. "you're not like them. you wouldn't do that."

she revels in the way he looks at her, like he sees right through to her soul. not some work of art display or land to conquer; just her.

wcz lets her set the pace, then lifts her off him by the hips and just holds her there. "are you calling me weak?" he tugs her nipple with his teeth.

cssr squeaks then tugs at his head.

"nooo, you know what i mean!" she whines, kicking her feet when he keeps holding her still with just the tip of him inside her.

she retaliates by clenching her walls, rolling her hips and sucking at the sensitive spot behind his ear.

their little game continues until neither of them can keep any semblance of rhythm, devolving into a relentless chase to the end.

"you really won't tie me down, a-ze?" cssr pants against his lips.

"not unless you want me to." wcz says, still rubbing her clit, wet with their spend, until cssr shudders again.

~~ end of nsfw bit ~~~

they stay like that for a while, catching their breaths against sweaty skin. then cssr blows a raspberry into wcz's chest.

"should i be offended that you won't even try?" she says dryly.

"i will not do anything you don't want." wcz looks her in the eyes. cssr flushes with an eep! then looks down, tracing his clavicle.

"so if i say i want to keep traveling?"

wcz holds her wrist, pressing her palm to his heart. "then i will say, where to?"

"you'd come with me?"

"if you'd let me."

"what if i lose my voice?" cssr asks later as wcz washes her hair.

"then we'll take sign language classes and i'll work extra until you can find a new job."

"what if i get old and wrinkly and all my hair turns grey?" cssr asks while they're shopping for groceries.

"then people will finally believe me when i say i've been had by a cougar." wcz says while placing a jar of cssr's favorite peanut butter brand in the cart.

cssr squawks and smacks his arm with a bag of gummy bears.

"a-se, no one will believe your age with the way you act." wcz deadpans, then kisses her forehead. "if it bothers you, we can dye your hair to match mine, or mine to match yours."

"hmm, i do think you'd look cool with silver hair." cssr says, then challenges, "what if i want us to get pink hair?"

"then we'll both get pink hair dye."

.

.

.

"what if i'm no longer beautiful?" cssr asks as they settle in for bed. "will you still love me?"

"it's a good thing i don't love you for just your looks then," wcz says then kisses her pout away with a smile. "i will always love you no matter what you look like. my love is always beautiful."

cssr smiles and kisses him softly.

"good answer!" she chirps then turns on her back. "'cuz in four months, my belly will pop and my ankles will be swollen, and in eight months, i won't even be able to see them! but you still need to tell me i'm pretty, okay?"

"yes, yes, you're pretty," wcz mumbles half asleep... then blinks awake. "...wait. cangse?"

cssr hums. "good night, baby daddy."

then she conks out.

wcz blinks, and blinks again. he starts counting.

"what."

he counts again. fuck, they hadn't used any protection that first time, did they? neither did he use a condom that one time at the bar... or that other night... oh.

oh.

wcz doesn't sleep for a long time.

when morning comes, cssr wakes to wcz curled up against her waist, hand on her belly.

"silly changze, the baby's still just a pea!"

she smiles dopily. yep, this one's a keeper.

the end

eight months and twenty years later, wwx asks his parents about their love story to deflect from his own love woes, does the math, and realizes they conceived him the night they met:

[mamoonde]

science guy wwx x figure skater lwj au

imagining physicist wwx. Professor of Physics wwx who organizes all these science festivals where he invites scientists and specialists to panels that Everyone can join and make science more accessible and easy to understand...meeting the most beautiful man skating in the park

olympic gold medalist figure figure skater lwj skating in a public park even tho he got kicked out of the rink to Take a Break meets this beautiful man trying to skate while talking himself thru the motion theories and when he falls, laughing with the kids watching, lwj falls too

wwx is just brimming with genuine love and interest for his field and lwj is just instantly enraptured, incapable of not listening, and even tho he barely has interest, watching and listening to wwx makes it so Interesting and wonderful--

later, when lxc gives him his latest batch of fanmail and a summary of the crowd reaction from his last program, new and old fans of fs talking about how his genuine love for fs made them fall in love with him and fs too -- lwj gets it now.

as for wwx, he's incredibly charmed having someone who not only /lets/ him ramble about his niche discoveries, but also genuinely listens enough to ask thoughtful questions, that in turn inspire him with new points of view of looking at things.

and when said someone is Particularly Beautiful Beautiful man, who isn't shy at all about giving him sincere verbal affirmations... well, it just really isn't good for his heart, but he can't stop coming back for more.

and then of course, as in bunnxianluvsu's thread (which started this whole shebang for me), there's the hilarity of wwx's friends and family belatedly realizing wwx's shiny new boyfriend is THE lan wangji of the figure skating world...

lwj's family, coaches and trainers torn between exasperation, frustration and gratitude because lwj having a boyfriend means he's now sometimes not as in top condition as he was before; but when he /skates/. well. he's Very inspired and passionate about it which is. fine, not Bad

jc, 3 secs from pulling out his hair over their weekly family dinner: DO YOU EVEN /KNOW/ WHAT YOUR BOYFRIEND DOES FOR A LIVING!??!?!? wwx: he says he skates sometimes! and sometimes coaches the children's skating lessons during the summer in gusu! isn't he the best?

later, as wwx devolves into another rambling session over something lwj did or said that was incredibly funny, "he's so knowledgeable in figure skating and also really secretly bitchy about the !5U, he's hilarious--":

also hilarious when wwx holds a smaller master lecture - the first lwj can witness (which is also a marvel, being in the sidelines and watching another master in his own element, watching wwx rouse a crowd with words) - and when a kid on the 2nd row falls asleep, lwj is Furious

wwx: ah, forget about it, that's par for the course honestly, for this particular subject matter - hehe, get it? cuz it's one on dark matter hehe lwj, still scowling: nonetheless, it was Rude. lwj, inwardly: how could ANYONE find wei ying boring?! what an ingrate...!

3 years of marriage later, lxc messages lwj abt a tiny piece on the newspaper - an article about wwx winning a nobel peace prize - captioned, "is this our wwx???? he's a big deal?????" lwj, smug, "yes, that's My wwx. i told you. wwx is Special."

the first family dinner they have right after, lwj spends the whole time "subtly" gloating about it, how wwx IS as famous as lwj is wwx: aiya, you're still more famous than i am! more kids would rather watch the most beautiful and the GOAT, lwj skate than listen to me ramble!

wwx: which they should! cuz lwj is truly the best--! jc: god someone please get them to STOP nmj passing money to lxc: that was cheating, you practically goaded your brother; we could've at least gotten through dessert before he got started lxc: whatever you say a-jue

wangxian had been dating for a year and living together for 6 mos. of that before wwx finally realizes just what his boyfriend does for a living. and no, it wasn't when he found lwj's olympic gold medal while wwx was rooting through lwj's sock drawer for something or other.

(which at that time he'd thought was a prop??? some inside joke kind of replica????)

no, it was when, on a rare day off (where wwx was banned from the lab for holing up in there for 72 hours when he was supposed to be on mandatory leave), wwx finally turns up the news to find his boyfriend answering questions in a very formal very live press conference.

it takes wwx 5 mins of ogling his boyfriend all made up, so handsome, In A Suit, before he processes the headline: NATION'S REPRESENTATIVE OLYMPIC GOLD MEDALIST LWJ PREPARING FOR WINTER GAMES

(which, he knew lwj was leaving for work related to the olympics, but he didn't know it was AS A COMPETITOR - AND AS THE DEFENDING CHAMPION AT THAT!??!!?!?!!??!?!? LIKE, LAN ZHAN IS AMAZING WBK, BUT?!??!?!?!? HE'S DATING AN OLYMPIAN????? LAN ZHAN????????)

and Then, someone asks about lwj's new program. "i cannot say much detail, but i have been very inspired lately by cosmology - my partner has taught me a lot about matter and anti-matter, the various theories, and the wonder of its mystery. i dedicate my free skate to him."

wwx, in his boxers and one of lwj's older shirts, sitting in their shared living room with his red face in his hands: "y..yaep. yaeh... that's my lan zhan...lan zhannnnn"

and it's not like wwx is dense or dumb. he just has very niche interests and a near-obsessive, singular focus on these very niche and choice interests. but he does know how to put 2 and 2 together, very quickly when he notices them.

5 mos ago when lwj kept asking him about his last panel on anti-matter theories. the kids' idolization of lwj. the rigorous training lwj goes through. the couple of competitions lwj had left for a few days at a time (he'd thought as a coach!).

and knowing lwj, it's not so much as him actively keeping it from him, but rather that lwj rlly isn't one to talk about his achievements, fame and status. "gusu lan won again" probably meant /lwj/ won again. and wwx just replied with "oh yea? that's nice, as expected of my lz"

on the spot, wwx makes a few calls to his department (who is relieved and more than a little surprised that wwx finally decided to spend his vacation leaves) and his research assistants. he sends vicious messages to his siblings (YOU GUYS KNEW?!? HOW CLD YOU NOT TELL MEEEE?!?!?"

and then he fixes himself up and waits for lwj to come home.

lwj comes home, mentally exhausted as most media days always tend to leave him. except this time, there's a little more relief to coming home, because he knows wei ying will be waiting for him there.

wwx is not waiting for him there. or well, he's not waiting barefoot in the kitchen like he'd promised to this morning.

instead, wwx is staring up at the lwj skating his short program for sochi 2014 with the same starry-eyed, slack-jawed expression he wore when lwj did a tiny double toe loop at the public park on their first date.

(he'd been immediately scolded by the guard but that same expression on wwx's face had been worth it) lwj feels his ears heat up, though most of his embarrassment is taken over by slight trepidation.

he'd known from the moment they met that wwx had no interest or much knowledge about figure skating - he barely even knew how to skate. and though lwj never really talked about his career, he /has/ mentioned it to wwx, who seemed to have taken it in stride...

on screen, lwj's short program comes to a close, the camera focusing on the overwhelmed tears lwj had thought he'd managed to completely hide. wwx sniffles a little and lwj offers him his handkerchief. "wei ying...? are you oka--"

wwx jumps a foot of the couch with a screech. "LAN ZHAN!" lwj flinches a little. "YOU SCARED ME!! SINCE WHEN DID YOU COME BACK?!?!"

"just a few minutes..." truthfully, lwj's starting to feel a little miffed, the stress of the day catching up with him, and not a single hug or kiss from wwx in sight. "--ah, no, that's not it," wwx groans into his hands.

"aiyaa i lost track of time, this wasn't how it was supposed to go." wwx laments before launching himself out of the couch, wrapping arms and legs around lwj.

lwj inwardly thanks his core training for keeping him steady, and letting him enjoy having wwx in his arms.

instantly, all the tension eases from his shoulders and disappears completely when wwx pulls away to kiss him deep and slow.

"lan zhan, i missed you so much." wwx says in between pecks all over lwj's face. lwj hums in agreement. it truly was a long day.

"poor you," wwx says, rubbing circles at his temple and beneath his eyes. lwj barely resists the urge to purr. "were the press people mean to you?"

"not any more difficult than usual." lwj says, depositing the both of them on the couch.

then lwj pauses, wondering if he'd mentioned to wwx that today was indeed a press day...

"well, you know who's been mean to me?" wwx pulls away. "my whole family and friends, and even my own boyfriend!"

wwx pokes at his chest before lwj can even get a word in. "that's right, even my own boyfriend!"

"i--"

"why didn't you tell me you were famous?!?" wwx grasps him by the shirt and shakes him, wailing, "ALL THIS TIME I'VE BEEN DATING A CELEBRITY!!!"

"i am not--"

"lan zhaaan, you get featured on TV and lots of people know you, and you've got people idolizing you!"

"wei ying is the same." wwx gives him an unimpressed look. "that's not the same, and you know it. i'm not the one breaking world records every competition!"

"i do not break world records every competition." lwj replies dryly.

"lan zhaaan, that's not the point!" wwx kicks his legs in the air. "my boyfriend turns out to be a very important person and i didn't even know about it - i haven't been treating you right at all!"

"in what ways has wei ying not treated me right?" lwj tugs wwx closer by the wrists. "have you ever harmed or abused me in any way? have you ever treated me unkindly or with disrespect?"

"of course not, but that's basic human decency!" wwx says. "i should've been spoiling you!"

"and am i not spoiled with wei ying's affection every day?" lwj asks. wwx pouts. "the only way i want to be treated is as wei ying's partner - not as a celebrity or someone to worship - but as wei ying's equal."

"aiyaa, what have i said about those words of yours! have mercy on my poor heart." wwx whines, before kissing him again, and lwj knows he's won.

"i still think you deserve better..."

"i could say the same to wei ying." lwj says.

"my boyfriend is also an important figure in his industry, and has contributed greatly, making history with his many accomplishments." lwj says, immensely enjoying the deep flush creeping up wwx's face and neck.

"lan zhaaan, you don't play fair," wwx whines.

“i’m still bummed i had to find out through your press con - by /accident/!” wwx huffs later, after dinner and dessert featuring all of lwj’s favorites, and then Dessert...

“i truly did not mean to keep it from you.” lwj kisses his temple in apology. “i thought you knew.”

"i know," wwx blows a raspberry into lwj's nipple. lwj jolts and he grins with an apology kiss.

"at first, i did enjoy wei ying not knowing about me." lwj admits. "it was...a relief. there was no pressure."

"having all that attention, must be tough on you, huh." wwx laments.

"mm..." lwj hums, and wwx waits.

"but then, when i attended that conference with you, and saw you in your element - i wanted you to see me, too." lwj admits.

"oh, lan zhan," wwx rises so he can look into lwj's eyes. "i want to see you, too. i want to be part of your world, too"

"that's why i'm going with you to the olympics - and every event that puts you on ice, for that matter!" wwx says. "i want to see you doing what you love."

and lwj melts, the lines of his face softening into that rare but beautiful smile wwx loves so much.

"i would love that."

[mamoonde]

more headcanons from the ancient magus bride wangxian au

��� lan zhan takes wei ying out for a ride in his dragon form, once. wei ying just needles lan zhan to take him to town for groceries via dragon flight every week after that. and the "occasional" errand. and sight seeing trip. lan zhan usually agrees.

✨ a few times, 14 year old half dragon lan zhan gets nabbed by some unhinged/cocky poachers who want his dragon parts for money. the yiling laozu always comes to save him, all menacing shadow monster of death. lan zhan secretly likes these, cuz wei ying gets clingy for a while after, always insisting on carrying him home and fussing over him (even though he's totally fine, he's not even scared at this point).

✨ the yiling laozu in his more human form is Attractive. very attractive. which is bad because he's also naturally charismatic, so all this means is that he attracts more people. which lan zhan hates, particularly when people - humans, especially - start thinking it's okay to flirt back. or get touchy. or too close. errands in towns had been hell because of this when lan zhan was a pre-teen. especially when the yiling laozu chooses a more adult appearance.

✨ one time someone tries to go after the yiling laozu, lan zhan loses control of his dragon powers in public for the first time. it's a good thing they were in a remote cemetery. and that it was late autumn; the sudden snow storm was only slightly difficult to explain. global warming, ykno?

[mamoonde]

continuation of part 1

Wei Ying doesn't get the green light from Wen Qing. He doesn't get the chance to. 

Even with the cursed item of dubious origins -- er, well, more dubious than usual -- stored under Wei Ying's best containment talismans and protective arrays, he can feel dark tendrils of resentment energy leaking, hissing in his ears.

He ends up closing the shop early, hours before sunset. He puts up more heavy duty protective talismans (albeit self-made, not that they've failed him before) around the shop's walls, doors and windows. Just in time too, because the sealing pouch he’d stored the box in looks decidedly faded. He’ll have to make a new one after this.

The puzzle box is fairly simple to solve. A twist of the odd knob, a camouflaged panel that slides into an invisible latch, and a couple other easy tricks before the top unlocks with a loud clack.

Oddly enough, nothing happens either other than pin drop silence.

Well, that's not creepy at all. Wei Ying thinks.

Wei Ying barely has time to brace himself before darkness engulfs the shop.

"Fuck!"

Having encountered more than his fair share of cursed objects, things filled with resentment, Wei Ying knows what to expect. The ice needles digging in his veins; the heaviness driving his heart to the pit of his stomach; despair that's his and isn't seeping into his bones. He's used to hearing the voices of corrupted souls attached, echoes of the strangers passed, wailing in his head. Those are pretty much par for the course.

What he isn't prepared for is the sheer magnitude of resentment that buffets him. Nor is he prepared for the strange, bone-chilling feeling of familiarity he gets from it. 

Welcome back, master.

A thousand voices hiss and croon and purr and growl in unison, and it's creepy as fuck. 

“What the fuck are you?”

Do you want revenge once more?

“What? No! What are you talking about?”

You’re so weak now, don’t you want power? We can make you powerful once more—

Wei—

Untouchable

—Make everyone fear you—

Wu—

Invincible

—Obey you—

Xian—

Kill everyone who did this to yo—

“Shut up!” Wei Ying shouts through the din.

Immediately, the shop flickers back into view, a ringing silence filling the space. Wei Ying’s head pounds; his nose and cheek feel wet. When he rubs at it, the back of his hand comes away with dark blood stains. Belatedly, he realizes he’s on the floor, the puzzle box open in his bare hands. When had he taken off his gloves…?

Inside, sits an iron tiger amulet, barely the size of his fist, nestled in faded silk. 

Innocuous enough, except, it looks like a replica of the Yin Tiger Seal. It's worn and frankly crudely hewn, clearly not the work of a master toolmaker. For the purported source of evil and chaos that once had the cultivation world in near shambles, it sure doesn't look it.

But given what just happened, Wei Ying doesn't think it's just a mere replica.

In fact, this might really just be the real deal.

[mamoonde]

meanwhile lwj learns about wwx's new cottagecore life (highkey wanting very much to be a part of it) and then slowly learning just what exactly happened that got wwx so burnt from working in the industry.

also falling deeper and deeper in love with this man cuz he's so smart? and he's so good with his kid? he's a bad cook (lwj always goes to bed feeling like his mouth is on fire) and terribly messy, but he goes around town helping people fix their broken stuff and tend the small farm.

lwj does his best to help wwx, trying to convince him to wife him up help them fix the Thing based on wwx's og prototype/architecture.

he cleans and eventually is able to take over the cooking (his mouth finally stops feeling numb) and helps a-yuan with his homework.

when lwj goes to bed in wwx's guest bedroom, wwx goes to his basement to work on the schematics/program/tech thing that could help reboot his old system and make it more compatible to the new systems used today. (he's up to date with the latest tech innovations. he needs to tinker sometimes, okay.)

a-yuan: why don't you just tell him that you're already helping him dad?

wwx: aren't you supposed to be in bed by now?

a-yuan: aren't you going to ask him out on a date yet?

wwx: SDFHJDASHJFAF WHO TOLD YOU THAT

a-yuan: dad, i'm twelve. i know what guys who have a crush look like. you look at him the same way uncle fourth looked at auntie chen before he proposed to her.

wwx: *face red and buried in his arms*

a-yuan: *pats his hair* don't worry, lan-gege looks at you that way too

the next day, over breakfast lwj cooked

a-yuan: lan-gege, dad has something to tell you

lwj, inwardly: oh god is he kicking me out have i not done enough IS IT BECAUSE I HAVEN'T GIVEN HIM THE GOOD SUCC??? BUT THERE'S A KID IN THE HOUSE--

lwj: *ahem* ...yes?

wwx: i, uh, about the old system... i uh, have most of the patch update ready?

lwj: *thoughts screeching full stop* what. you. you've been working on it?

wwx, shyly rubbing his nose: uhhh yea, i'm almost done i've managed to find a way to make it work

lwj: i thought you didn't want to help?

wwx: well i don't wanna help them, but i wanna help lan zhan - and besides, the ones who'll benefit the most from this are the common folks, so. *shrugs*

lwj: how can i help? you were never supposed to do it alone. that's why i'm here.

wwx: oh about that, that's what i was getting at. i just need more information about the system you guys have now so you guys can take over it

lwj: whatever help you need, you have it.

wwx: aiya, so serious! its no big deal--

lwj: it IS a big deal. wei ying, thank you.

wwx flushes a deep red from the roots of his hair, all the way down his neck. lwj wants to tug his shirt collar down to see how far it goes, trace it with his tongue---

yuan: OH-KAY, thanks for the food, lan gege. dad, i'll stay over at uncle ning's house for the week. have fun.

now it's lwj's turn to blush, his ears deep red.

wwx: w-what! what for?

yuan: if you're helping lan-gege, why not just go with him to the city to make sure it goes well? you know you'll just be curious the whole time to see if it did work.

wwx: but what about you? yuan: that's why i said i'll be at uncle ning's house. it's closer to the school, anyway. and it's not like you'll be away forever. i'll be fine dad wwx: lan zhaaan my little radish is growing up too fast!! lwj: wei ying is a good dad. thank you a-yuan

a-yuan packs his stuff good for two weeks. just in case adult time lasts longer than he expected.

uncle ning has a washer anyway, and school's on its last week. he won't need to return home until dad picks him up, hopefully with lan gege as his new other baba.

the moment the door closes, lwj finally makes good on giving wwx the Good Succ.

and after, while wwx presses kisses all over his sweaty, cum-stained face, wwx confesses how good he was, such a good wife, a good parent, a good boy, the best--

lwj comes.

and then lwj gets carried to bed 💕 and railed into the mattress ✨ and against the wall 💖

some time in between they manage to actually work on the project, email nhs the urgent bits and pieces of it that they can while lwj sits on wwx's lap, wwx's cock snug in his ass.

the trip to the city is not as short as they liked.

between lwj roasting the company for the sabotage on wwx, threatening them until they compensate wwx for his contributions then AND now; wwx teaching the team how to work the old system with the new one and debugging sht; AND both of them packing lwj's things, both at work and his old apartment -- well, it's a lot of work. especially when they have a hard time keeping their hands off of each other long enough to actually pack.

eventually, they do manage to get things done.

they return to yiling, pick up a-yuan from wen ning's house and finally get back home to live their new and improved domestic af cottagecore life as soon-to-be-husbands.

💖 the end 💖

don't you just love the idea of recluse wei wuxian chopping wood deep in the forest living his cottagecore life, while out in the city, the country's top engineers are losing their minds trynna contact him to work on some ancient complex system he designed when he was bored & 16

young engineer genius wwx coming into the scene all cocky cuz he rlly is the sht, except he hated politics and that ended up biting him in the ass (no thanks to good ol' money and nepotism) until he was burned out, spat out and forgotten by the industry

young lwj, who sucks at politics so badly not even his pedigree can completely save him, is the capable team lead sent to find the legendary wei, expecting to find some old rickety man he'll have to speak slowly to, to get him to decode this ancient script

and getting the boner shock of his life when he turns up to the address in the middle of nowhere, and sees this ruggedly handsome man not THAT old, hair long and in a messy ponytail, half naked with an old ratty shirt tied around is waist, chest gleaming with sweat 😳😳🥵🥵

wwx: *chops wood, all sweaty, chest heaving, abs gleaming, muscles flexing with every swing* lwj: 🧍‍♂️ wwx: you lost kid? lwj, inwardly:

[mamoonde]

i really really really love the idea of wei wuxian revolutionizing modern cultivation over breakfast and conceptualizing these different theories simultaneously because the adhd brain has no brakes and the only reason it took him a decade to publish all these ideas was because he could not stick to a single train of thought long enough to finish (verbalizing) it, let alone put it down on paper coherently.

the only reason he even got to publishing them eventually (and enrolling to cultivation theory grad program to get on that track) was because one morning, his undergrad thesis advisor, lan qiren, finally got fed up and sat him down for an early morning progress check-in because it was midterm season and wei wuxian still hadn't decided on a topic.

wei wuxian, fueled by an unhealthy amount of redbull and three all-nighters, finally word vomits all his 'convoluted' ideas which he'd thought were uselessly obvious and redundant (because he's gone over these like a bajillion times, it's very plain-as-day to him, so he probably just hasn't read the articles that say these exact things).

lan qiren, teacup frozen halfway to his mouth: ...first of all, i only understood half of how you got to these conclusions, which only means they are indeed too convoluted and will need to be pared down; secondly: you have never mentioned any of these ideas before. why.

wei wuxian: oh. haven't i? oh well, i just thought, xyz, because, obviously, abcde. which is really what the 2 centuries old law on ghjkl was alluding to, right? and so, logically, xyz.

lan qiren: [mind blown, screaming, good gods this is the same child who's always tardy and spent freshman year pulling on the metaphorical pigtails of my straight-laced nephew?!?!??!??!?!] ..again, why...how have you never even spoken or submitted these ideas?

wei wuxian: because!!! they're so obvious!! surely, it's been published somewhere already? i can't be the only one to connect these dots, surely??

lan qiren: incredibly, you are. no one else has even thought to question tradition nor pursued more thoughts on the law of ghjkl, with half as much...sound arguments as you seem to have. in the past century, the focus of modern cultivation has tended towards practical uses and tools, some fine-tuning, perhaps. not entirely new theories.

wei wuxian: huh....

lan qiren, sighing, feeling a migraine: your problem with your thesis is not a lack of focus or ingenuity, but likely to be more a lack of recent, evidentiary sources. you will need to become very familiar with the university archives and dig deep for sources that will back up every argument you make.

he jots down notes on a paper. "you will also need to strictly adhere to the structure and methodology of these articles, especially given how radical your thesis will be. if you are diligent enough, you may just be able to submit your thesis without too much of a delay." he slides the list of materials to a gaping wei wuxian. "depending on your output then, we can discuss the possibility of submitting this for peer review."

"peer review." wei wuxian repeats. "as in, that thing where some uppity committee of old coots put their stamp of approval for it to become the reading materials of undergrads like me. you're joking."

lan qiren chooses to ignore the sentiment about peer review committees being uppity old coots, especially considering how he can't completely deny it on account of some of his colleagues, but also as a member said peer review committee, he isn't exactly pleased about being lumped in the same category.

wei wuxian backtracks at his unamused look. "right, you're not joking, of course you're not." he slowly inches the list towards himself. "right, yes, i guess i'll uh, get to it then. ok bye."

----

idk, just, waves hand at wei wuxian candidly explaining new modern cultivation theories over cheerios at 2 in the afternoon to lwj who's trying to help him structure his grad thesis, getting mind blow dick hard at how this messy genius who's talking with his mouth full of half eaten cereal is the object of his affection....

wwx: --oh, oops, your highlighter fell

lwj: mn

wwx: ...aren't you gonna get that?

lwj: it's fine; i'll pick it up later. finish your thought.

wwx: right... i'll pick it up for you!

lwj, fighting for his life, trying to think unsexy thoughts: NO! sit. finish your meal, and then your thought.

[mamoonde]

prompt: shizun wwx with pouty yet protective disciple lwj

Lan Zhan already has Bichen half-unsheathed before his shizun's familiar black robes billow in front of him; ahead, the disrespectful old man gets away.

"Zhanzhan aren't you old enough to know better by now? And what's with that pouting about, huh?"

Not even his shizun's warm hand ruffling his hair eases his pout frown.

"He was insulting shizun; that is unacceptable." Lan Zhan looks at his shizun right in the eyes; it pleases him that he no longer has to look up. "Shizun is good and deserves respect, always."

[mamoonde]

prompt: wangxian, milfxian royalty au!

Wei Ying kneels as low as he can, hoping the boy will remember his small kindness in the past and spare him the fate of the rest of the late emperor's concubines.

However, instead of the edge of a blade or a strip of white cloth, large warm hands tug him gently out of his bow.

"Why would I harm the very reason I have spilled blood for, including my shameful father?" The boy - no, a young man, now - says, his golden eyes still as intense as they had been ten years ago.