#making weird ass posts like this is my only hobby

[mieeaahhh]

All for the game characters as nails/nail-designs! P1

(I have naturally long nails so I don’t get them done, I don’t know the proper names for some types of nails lol)

Neil Josten - bug nails because he reminds me of a bug for some reason

Andrew Minyard - black stiletto nails because they are like knifes (???)

Kevin Day - whatever this is🗣️🗣️🗣️

Aaron Minyard - nails with bone/skull designs because he wants to be a doctor but he’s also a lil emo loser

Nicky Hemmick - Fun and colourful

Matt Boyd - these cool mirror nails

Allison Reynolds - duck nails!!!!!! Dazzled duck nails!!!!!! Pink dazzled duck nails!!!!!!

Renee Walker - the nails that look like old children’s books🗣️🗣️🗣️ and stained glass window nails🗣️🗣️🗣️ and jelly nails 🗣️🗣️🗣️

Dan Wilds - fruit nails! Because it’s cute and the voices are telling me she would be fruit nails

Betsy Dobson - *sings really loud and beautifully but only Renee can hear me* MAXIMAAALLLISSSMMMM

[urdreamgirlangel]

a soft exit from doom scroll culture 𐙚🧸ྀི

Life wasn’t created to be lived through a screen, it was created to be lived through experiences ₊˚⊹ ᰔ michi

I constantly feel like I’m missing out on life. I’m never physically doing anything but I am always.. always scrolling. And for what? To be entertained. For those weak ass dopamine hits. To distract myself from my thoughts and my mental state. To have an excuse as to why I’m not doing something.

Neglecting yourself? Doomscrolling? Having trouble sleeping? Eyes always tired? Unhappy? Always feeling drained and tired?

Don’t you guys ever feel like you’re missing out? I mean you must since you’re here.

So I decided to try a digital detox.

Not in some extreme, delete-everything-and-vanish kind of way (I actually tried that many times and failed each one). I just wanted to see what would happen if I gave my brain a break. If I stopped reaching for my phone the second I felt bored, uncomfortable, or lonely. If I actually let myself sit with things instead of escaping into a timeline that never ends.

It was weird at first.

My brain kept telling me to “check something,” whether it's Instagram, TikTok, even Pinterest like ?? girl for what?? I realized I’d trained myself to need noise. Constant noise. And without it? I felt unsettled. Quiet. But underneath all that static, there was something else too. A kind of peace I didn’t know I missed. My mind actually started to feel like mine again.

Because the truth is, I don’t want to live a life I’m watching from the sidelines. I don’t want to be so overstimulated I can’t even hear myself think. I want to choose what I consume. What I feel. What I do with my time.

I want to remember that I don’t have to perform every moment. I don’t have to be productive to be worthy. I don’t have to post everything to prove I exist.

Sprinkles ˖ ᡣ𐭩 ⊹ ࣪

I thought to myself I should have rules. I should try setting rules and boundaries because, as I said, social media isn't the problem, but rather how we use and interact with it is.

When you do scroll, do it purposefully (because you’re looking for something specific rather than because you’re just bored and you’re trying to entertain yourself quickly)

Delete and uninstall any apps you no longer use & make note of the ones you use too much - a lot of similar posts I’ve read on this topic always talk about keeping tumblr because it’s not that bad blah blah.. But can you really say you don’t scroll mindlessly on here? People use tumblr as an escape from all those other apps, but at the end of the day, it’s still social media.

Set time limits for screen use

Reduce use bit by bit

be careful with what you consume

Don’t be afraid to be bored. You are going to be bored and lonely.

Silence your notifications

Realize it’s okay to have social media but it shouldn’t be abused

Be in the moment. You don’t need to have a hot girl walk with a podcast playing in your ear. Bitch, be the podcast. Yap to yourself and look fucking crazy because I do. And it’s fun.

Find something to do with your free time, in my post Pretty Girl Content, you will find some hobby suggestions, or even in my Enhance Your Whimsy posts.

Tech-free zones - keeping your phone out of the bathroom, kitchen, bed, dining area

Check-in windows: only check social media during scheduled times

A ‘why I opened this’ list - every time you open an app, ask yourself why and write it down. Write it down. After a few days, review it to see your patterns and learn from them. nd if you wanna share thats ok too!

Dopamine Menu - a list of things that gives you pleasure or satisfaction a healthy way. instead of reaching for your phone when you feel lonely, bored or restless, pick something off the list and then do it.. They start easy with the first course, then require more effort and engagement as the course goes up.

Angel’s Dopamine Menu ꒰ঌ ໒꒱

🧁 Sweet Treats (Low-Effort)

Light a candle and practice breath work

Make a cute warm drink

Do mobility routine

take a shower

say affirmations

style dream closet mentally

cuddle blanket and/or pet

stand in sun for 3-5 mins

change into favourite cozy outfit

🍱 Comfort Courses (Medium Effort)

journal with dreamy prompts or about something i’m curious about

write a letter to my future self

Walk around the block

Bake something cute and simple

read a book

Reorganize space a bit (clear bed, fluff pillows, wipe mirror)

Watch a comfort show, no snacks, no other screens

have a tea party with plushies

🥘 Soul meals (High Effort)

solo adventure

Deep clean space

write letters to past you, present you and future you

go to a concert

choose a topic that fascinates me and go full research mode

start a new cute slice of life anime/kdrama

work on a hobby (start a scrapbook, upcycling an outfit, etc.)

write or continue writing a post

sign up for a workshop/class that excites you

learn a new skill (writing, language etc)

host a themed night for yourself (cottage core evening, 2000s movie night)

Plan my dream life

But now that we’ve got that out of the way, I have a question for you

What do you want from these apps? ೀ

𖹭.ᐟ Is it validation?

𖹭.ᐟ To feel seen without having to do much?

𖹭.ᐟ A distraction?

𖹭.ᐟ Community and connection?

𖹭.ᐟ Inspiration?

𖹭.ᐟ Entertainment?

𖹭.ᐟ Self-expression?

𖹭.ᐟ FOMO?

Are you actually getting it? Or are you just stuck in the loop, hoping the next scroll will finally give you what the last hundred didn’t?

People say cons of not having social media is not knowing what’s going on “in the outside world” but.. to me that’s a pro because I get to focus on myself and my mind and loa. So nothing else really matters to me since I’m focused on building the life for me starting with myself. Which I really need right now given my mental state. When i deleted tiktok, I feel good about not downloading it. Whenever I need it, I redownload it. Hair content. That’s about it. Then I delete. I dread even redownloading it because I’m kind of impatient. But I also do the same for tumblr. If I need a little pick me up, a sweet post and I know I have no one around give it to me and I really need to hear it from someone else, I redownload. I use it on my pc mainly now and I don’t find scrolling on my pc interesting enough to do it all the time.

So let’s get to the more philosophical, harsher side.

₊˚ 🦢・₊✧ Modern life encourages consumption, rather than understanding and contemplation - challenge yourself, learn about something that honestly doesn’t seem that big of a deal, like learning random facts about random things. Remember libraries and book shops exist.

₊˚ 🦢・₊✧ One thing about social media it will give you unsolicited advice and opinions, it will try to make you feel like you have to listen and believe what is being shown to you. It could cause you to stray from your own beliefs if you aren’t strong in them. People’s opinions being thrown at you left and right when you aren’t even comfortable and strong in yourself is… jarring. “You shouldn’t do this bc..” but what if I want to? And why are people mad that I want to? Or don’t want to? Realizing I don’t wanna hear anyone’s opinions before I was grounded in mine was a big reason for my detox and regulation.

₊˚ 🦢・₊✧ You pick up a lot of stuff you consume online unconsciously. For instance, I watched a lot of American and Canadian tv growing up.. now I react to certain situations in certain ways (just like a lot of the characters I saw on TV) and I literally didn't notice until like a few days ago. That's the result of repeatedly consuming the same kind of content. So guess what- the thing people call ‘brain rot’… is actually rotting your brain. Surprise, surprise.

₊˚ 🦢・₊✧ Social media constantly exposes you to other people’s timelines, and it quietly convinces you that you’re behind in life. But most people are only sharing fragments- the polished, curated parts. And when we forget that, it’s easy to start holding ourselves to unrealistic standards or feeling like we’re not doing enough. You are not late. You are not less. You are unfolding, slowly and softly, in your own time. And there’s something quietly magical about that.

₊˚ 🦢・₊✧ And on that note… influencers really do be scamming sometimes. Like, a lot of it is just the same old stuff, just prettier now. They take outdated ideas and wrap them in pink ribbons and call it healing or empowerment. Suddenly, being “feminine” means looking a certain way, acting soft and quiet, never taking up too much space, and spending money just to seem effortlessly perfect. But don't get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with liking pink, or soft things, or wanting to feel pretty. But when femininity becomes a performance—when it’s reduced to a list of aesthetics you have to buy into to be “the ideal woman,” that’s not empowerment. That’s marketing. They just dressed it up and made you feel like you chose it. But it���s still about control. About shrinking yourself into something small, sweet, and palatable. It’s not just influencers because some of them genuinely believe in this and don’t realize what they’re doing. In the end it just leads back to men trying to be in control... Ew. You might not even realize how much of what you like or think you like is just what society has convinced you need to like to be worthy of love or attention. This is not to say you can’t enjoy this stuff because I most definitely still do. But do so mindfully. This is also not to say that life can’t be aesthetic and pretty because it can and anybody that says not is just.. boring I guess. Just be mindful.

So I’m detoxing. To control the identity I’m building for myself and making sure it’s something I like, something I’m doing for me rather than for the algorithm. This is not to say that social media- or rather, how we use it- is to blame for everything. Because it’s not. People around you can genuinely suck. You have to pull away from that. The point is, if it’s not benefiting you, it’s depriving you.

Log out. Go outside. Touch the real world. You deserve to feel real again. -`♡´-🧁

follow @urdreamgirlangel 444 more

inspired by:

⋆｡𖦹°⭒˚｡⋆ michi goodbye TikTok, hello living

⋆｡𖦹°⭒˚｡⋆ xiao's you don't have to be that girl

⋆｡𖦹°⭒˚｡⋆ denee you'd be hotter if you logged out

[loppi-exe]

What the fuck is Psychocuties?

Is it problematic?

(english isn't my first language)

Hi, welcome to my TED Talk about this russian indie series made by TAMAKUZ. I’m creating this post for people like me, who are confused, don’t know what Psychocuties is and wonder "is it problematic?". Don't worry guys I got your back.

Plot and characters

Long story short, we encounter two main characters: Dr Masacrik and Mimi (Ushka in russian). Dr Masacrik is an example of mad scientist trope (typical unhinged guy with tumblr sexy man design) and Mimi, his pet/little toy? We know that he created her, basically brought Mimi back to life. Their relationship is toxic, anyone with basic knowledge about the world will see this. I would call this a Stockholm syndrome, but it’s notlike that. You can watch two first episodes on YouTube and you’ll probably understand my vision. Also please watch Elevator Man 2022 fan animation, I think it's the first content of TAMAKUZ ocs on YouTube and also will give you some additional context.

For the plot, for now I wouldn’t say it’s going anywhere. Creator show us how Mimi’s and Dr’s relationship looks like, maybe in future episodes we’ll see something more about the world and other characters.

I want to add that animation is amazing, smooth and good looking. Colour palet is eye-catching, realy vivid. Some people may think it's similar to Hazbin Hotel and you're not wrong, TAMAKUZ made some HH fanart in the past, so she's probably a fan of the series.

Problems with series and creator

I know you came for this segment and nobody can proof me otherwise. Thanks to JuniDrawz on YouTube for Psychocuties iceberg, my knowleage came mostly from them. I won’t cover everything they said, because I think some of those things aren’t problematic at all. But we have some bombs guys and I wasn’t ready for them.

!Disclamer! Topics I won't cover here, because I don't know enough about them: "Lolita" fanart Any VK/Patreon posts (all the photos I have are from TAMAKUZ official Twitter and Pinterest reposts of her art) TAMAKUZ Lolic0n figures collection

Nun art We know that sexualising nuns is bad, we shouldn’t be okay with this even if it’s normalised by society. Mostly this art isn’t sexualising Mimi as nun and Dr. as priest but some of the works are questionable.

N@zi art I wanted to make this whole post because of this. I don't know why so many of russian artists likes to put n@zi references in their art. If I had a nickle every time I met russian artist drawing this shit I would have two nickles, which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice. I don't have to tell you that this is bad. Drawing n@zi shit is bad, being a n@zi is bad. End of the story. Also remeber this is implied, you won't see whole ass swastika here.

So what now?

I'm not here to cancel TAMAKUZ okay. I presented you two things that some of you may think are worst than the others. Whole series is rated 18+ which is good. People on TikTok are arguing as always, it's "forbid women from having hobbies" vs "abuse is bad and media shouldn't have it" discourse. Having ocs who are bad people isn't a crime. Series is 18+ so people will (or should) understand that Dr. Masacrik is an abuser towards Mimi. It's very visible that he manipulates her and makes her depend only on him. I'm not here to judge how good TAMAKUZ executed their relationship.

All I wrote here is basic information, please watch JuniDrawz video for more context. Nobody really talks about why series and creator can be problematic so here you go. If you have any questions I'll answer them.

Have a good day.

[robinvomit]

I saw you're on break so plsndont rush to answer but what's the difference in all the 90s stuff I keep seeing? if you can answer

I saw your post about 90s tim and 90s kon what does that mean? Can you tell the difference?

Yes, hi, anon. I am still on break — that mostly just means I won't be doing any requests or posting much writing for a week or so. However, I'm more than happy to answer questions.

I mean, I'd say it's pretty easy? But, I guess that depends on the media you are consuming. I mostly read comic books. Some people only read fanfics and most writers aren't going to specify which timeline/version of a character they use. I've stated a couple times that I write Kon inspired by 90s Kon for the simple fact that "Conner" is not the Kon I know ( or really care for. the yj show burned a bridge here. 💔 )

As for Tim — from what I've seen across my fyp, requests, messages, etc. Most people ( including myself, depending on the post ) tend to focus on Tim's awkward, logical, weird nerd self.

However, I used to have a couple posts based on 90s Tim ( Who I love because he was just a little shit starter, ngl. )

So here's a.. I don't know, break down of sorts for 90s Tim.

• He was sarcastic as living hell, had a super dry sense of humor. Incredibly blunt. Had absolutely no issue calling anyone out or anything. His inner monolog was actually just him being a manace.

• I don't really know where socially awkward, weird Tim came from? I don't know where it started but I can't say I haven't written him like that lol but, He was actually very socially comfortable? Like, he masked like hell. Tim had ( still has, I'm pretty sure ) trust issues, controll problems, he was snippy but he was still emotionally closed off to people. Which, that isn't new for any of them.

• He was straight up MEAN. Like — I'm pretty sure one of his biggest hobbies was poking and prodding and pressing buttons to piss people off as much as he could. Plus, Tim was VERY, VERY MORALLY GREY! He was a manipulative little shit when he saw he needed to be. He did what he thought needed to be done, whether it was good or bad. He was pretty cold hearted and ruthless when it came down to it.

• He wasn't afraid to pick at someone's weaknesses, even in a normal social setting. He thought some pretty sharp things, tbh. And, being hurt is different for all of them — like.. Jason gets angry, Damian well.. he's Damian all the time, Dick usually got quiet and dealt on his own. Tim, on the other hand, would cut deep and hurt you right back.

• I'm not going to use clapping emojis but I need people to see this as well: Tim was incredibly fucking independent. He did not want or need to rely on the batfam for support. He was self sufficient — he literally had his own base, his own tech, his own system. He had no problem working ALONE.

• Tim also ( this may still be true 🫠 I have not seen anything recent ) had issues with his place among the others. Which furthered the emotional cut off.

• He was also a little bitch to his friends. He fought with Kon CONSTANTLY — it wasn't always straight up mean fighting but sometimes it was. Tim had an ego and was pretty smug about himself. Not to mention he lied to them about missions and stuff — same thing as batman's 'well I did it for the mission'. He kept Bart, Cassie, Kon, etc etc. At arm's length and let's be honest, he just wasn't great at being a friend in general.

• major major major major arrogance, control freak, had to be right, had to make the plans, had to control everything.

• another morally grey comment because it just makes me so fucking happy: I saw someone say Tim was a pacifist and nearly lost my shit. He pretty much craved violence when given the chance. He broke bones without flinching.

• My guy kept shit secret from everyone lol He would straight up withhold info from everyone. Yes, including Bruce. ( But, I mean, he pretty much stood against Bruce and said everything but to kiss his ass. )

• You'll also notice he was a bit misogynistic, as well, which is brought up as the first topic any time someone mentions 90s Tim.

• and a fun little misconception: he did not worship Bruce. He was actually pretty tired of his shit most of the time. But, he did look up to him.

In short; 90s Tim was kind of a huge piece of shit, didn't take shit off of anyone, was a bad friend and also liked to fuck around.

As you can see, this is why I don't have a lot of requests asking specifically for 90s Tim but I do have a good bit of drafts for him.

[ oh and since I didn't say it; 90s Kon is just a character development sweetheart loverboy that just wanted to be accepted and loved and the world actually just fucking hated him. ]

✌🏻 ( pertaining to the whole me having tim vibes — yes it includes this. I am a mix of both. It's called bpd ✨️ )

[raines-here-lol]

YAP SESSION! YAP SESSION! WOOP WOOP WOOP!!! In other words, Raine talks about Gooseberry who she is heavily obsessed about to the point it's a problem YAY

This post is centered around what sort of past she had and things around it… There will be mention of sexual abuse, overdose and the things that happen in Outlast (also it's extremely long, words? And I don't think it's good but whatever)

Alrighty, her parents. Let's start with the mom. Her mom was a prostitute that ended up pregnant and abandoned her. The only proof I have of this thing is Futterman saying chased by a whore in the morning and I refuse to believe this man ever got married. Continuing with this man, just gonna drop it quickly, he's an Ashkenazi Jew. The surname, schmaltz (integral part of the cuisine), tokhes and his pronunciation of certain words make it obvious, but she probably wasn't seen as fully jewish due to the fact that her mom probably wasn't. Alright, let's continue, I think he wanted to put Phyllis for adoption but he probably couldn't in the end (someone could've noticed the baby and questioned him about it resulting in him keeping her). We all know he was verbally abusive to her. I believe she even used to be a chubby kid and ended up losing some weight around her show airing and stuff, hence the cow and big girl comments.

The thing is, the abuse didn't end just there. We have Gooseberry begging him to stop, Futterman's comments about the sex toys being suitable for kids aswell, the fact that there's a kid drawn on the sex toy box, Gooseberry's questionable comment, just Pervert the Futterman trial in general, crude comments about her being a slut and whore and her voicelines where she called the Reagents perverts with her dad calling them chomos (slang for child molester). We also have the whole gin and benzedrine thing… Listen, is it a reach? Maybe. But it's just weird you know.

The worst part is that she couldn't even get away from him. She didn't have any friends, most likely due to her hobby of taxidermy; being his assistant since her teen years (pulled the age out my ass but it kind of makes sense) and was definitely not allowed to speak to other adults/they probably didn't care. This made Futterman the only person who she was the closest to and found comfort in him, mostly around the small moments where he showed himself to be caring. She romanticized him during those moments, proving to herself that even if he is sometimes abusive and touchy, he still cares a lot about her. And the parts where he excused his actions only fueled this made up version that she made of him. I even have a headcanon that the duck puppet that she used to make the children calmer was a gift from him, hence why he usually is depicted as a duck and why she even goes with his abuse. It's always darkest before the dawn, you know.

I think she still lived with him as an adult. Making herself listen to his annoyance about still not being a wife or a mother to anyone, and this only getting worse once she got her own show. It was probably called Futterland, because I don't think she had an actual fun park. Everything was finally going right in her life, even if she was addicted to coke to wake herself up in the morning, only for everything to come crashing down due to her father's death. They still haven't found his body, so we can't really be sure how he died but my best guess is drinking and overdosing himself on the meds. Gooseberry came home, found him and had a complete breakdown to the point of hysteria and disassociation, as the document puts it. This was her dad, her comfort person, the only person that in her eyes actually cared about her and he was now gone. The reason his body is still not found is because she made sure it wasn't, not because of cruelty but due to the fear that they might do something to him. Even after doing that, her brain just couldn't comprehend his passing so it ended up forming him as a personality and attaching it to the duck puppet in her show that was definitely named Dr. Futterman. Even with her romanticization of him, her brain still remembered the damage he did and it caused him to act the same but probably bit less cruel.

However, this sort of memories od abuse could've twisted her view on all adults/parents. Viewing them as horrible people who didn't actually care about their kids (this possibly also coming from the parents around her not caring about what was happening to her). This could explain the whole putting narcotics in the Dental Drops and hooking kids on violence, theft and drug use. The violence escalating to the kids possibly killing their parents, due to her telling them to do so, because Mother Gooseberry's words were sacred to the children who were in a cult-like mindset. In her mind, however, this whole thing could've been seen as a way of protecting the children from evil (the adults) and her being the good person to be doing so. Not defending her actions, mostly giving her, what seemed to be, the reason for them.

In 1955, the police would raid the studio due to the charges of Conspiracy to Commit Murder, Kidnapping, and Racketeering, but possibly for also other reasons aswell. The kidnapping is the most interesting to me because who the hell did she even kidnap? Was it a man that reminded her of her father or was it a kid that she decided needed the most protection from the killjoys? Whoever it was doesn't really matter but it still makes me wonder. What makes the raid kind of funny to me is the fact that she used a drill to kill two and injure five other police officers, something that is now her weapon. Gooseberry would be sentenced to life in Holmesburg Prison, where even in real life the prisoners would be tested on. There, she had the two carnal (sexual) relationship with atleast two guards, which I think only happened due to her wanting to have fun (or pleasure since her character is kind of driven on that) and also to get some crafts to make the puppet for her dad. During Clyde's visit that is visible in the comic, it seems that she was skinnier than now (possibly from the coke) and suprisingly lucid.

Finally we are getting to the Murkoff thing. The face mask was definitely her choice to make herself appear slightly more on how she looked liked before the chemical burns (you can see that there's a mole on her left side of face under her nose in the comic, where the face mask has it drawn on). Although her missing her right hand was Murkoff's choice, probably due to an infection on it or to make Dr. Futterman's puppet more useful, since he acts like a prosthetic for her. Their relationship is still relatively the same, which might make her feel more comfortable around the place. But even then she does something that I haven't mentioned yet and that is age regressing. She regresses to her 14 year old self and you can hear it in some of her voicelines, my favorite where (I think) she regresses is this one. Mostly because it sounds like a teen girl trying to go out with a boy and her dad's reply makes it funnier ngl. There's slight difference between Gooseberry (adult) and Phyllis (teen) in their tone and how they talk if you listen carefully. I think it's even Phyllis talking about the scientists, making her more lucid than her adult self. Other than her dad, her relationship with the other PAs is funny to me. With Coyle it sounds that she finds him interesting but also absolutely hates him due to him being a cop and just in general, like her comment about being called beef and laughed at. With Franco it seems more... Intimate but she still sounds quite upset about things. Futterman is the one to voice his hatred towards the two though, but it's still obvious that Gooseberry's feelings for the two are terribly mixed.

The last thing I wanted to talk about her was the video Gooseberry Gets A Glimpse. She still follows the rules that Murkoff put in place even if she made her own. Her reaction to Amelia going through the monster door makes her more interesting because it kind of reveals the fact that she doesn't like things to change. Her face shows that she's worried about it and the fact that she uses the phrase "and doctor daddy help us all if someday the rules changed", makes it even possible that she has that fear. I don't think we got any document mentioning this after it happened so it makes me curious if we will get any more info about this or not.

Either way, I think I rambled enough and about everything I wanted. Congrats, you read through the whole thing and sorry if anything sounded bad (or was misspelled, I double checked enough)... You get a sticker for your troubles

[tetedurfarm]

I know I just have goat fever right now daydreaming, but I would love to hear about your goats. What's their purpose, most annoying trait, anything at all

i am so sorry in advance because i am always brutal when people want animals that i own and they ask me for my opinion. it's a personality flaw. but i need people to understand why animals suck before i say why they are fun lmao

why goat:

my goats are for milk mainly. i have a nigerian dwarf, a mini nubian, a mostly-nigerian 'mini-nubian', and a kinder. their milk is actually really good, all of them, and their production is good for my needs. i expect each to make about half a litre or so a day at peak production this year, going off of numbers from last year. it will be violet's third freshening, and phoebe's second, and they generally increase in production every year for the first three or four years before levelling off. i am not planning to breed hallow unless i find someone with a nigerian buck that they don't mind letting me borrow, cos derek is just way too big for her i fear. turnip will be on her first freshening. i prefer the mini nubians and kinders to the nigerians because they have more ground clearance and bigger teats so it's easier to use a machine on them. hand milking the itty bitty titties isn't awful but i try not to hand milk if possible lol

i do eat kids because i can't sell them, and they are dairy goats so they aren't exactly the meatiest things on the planet, but it's food. i like the taste of wether and doe but buck is stanky.

what i hate about goats:

crime. i know it's the joke but genuinely goats are little shits and your new favourite hobby is now fence the second you put one on your land. literally any sort of weakness in their enclosure they will get through. cannot overstate. if you use electric fence as their primary enclosure (if you want them to mow a weird spot for you or something) they have to be net and they have to hit hard. provided it's grounded right, my net fence with a 1 joule solar charger can hit around 4k max and they will ignore that if they want something on the other side bad enough. however they will usually respect it if they have plenty to eat within the legal zone. you cannot tie a goat because they will strangle themselves trying to eat something outside of their range or slip their collar and do whatever they want.

they will climb on anything they possibly can, including buildings and enclosures. they will also rub on things which is fine sometimes if it's a brush mounted on a pole and bad sometimes when it's your fence. also if they can stick their head through a fance they will do so and if they have horns they will get stuck. sometimes they will get stuck without horns. the issue i have the most with them sticking their heads through fence is they push on it so hard it can warp cattle panel fences and stretch tension ones so i just have to make sure they aren't overly mcfucking everything every now and then.

speaking of horns it is sort of a personal preference on whether or not you do horns. horns look sick af and help them thermoregulate in hotter climates but also horns suck ass and make a lot of things difficult if you are milking them. horns don't always fit into milking stanchions, and i have had enough situations with a bitchy nanny on the stand where if horns were involved i would have been pretty badly injured. they will press them against things because it feels good and again that's fine if it's a post and bad if it's you. my horned goats don't seem to headbutt things like my ram does, and my goats are little so they can't push me over when they press on me, but if they were normal sized goats we'd be having words. trying to medicate horned goats is a pain because i can't just pop them between my thighs unless i want really wicked bruises. i did not want horned goats. the only reason i have two is because one i didn't go deep enough when i was dehorning him, and the other i didn't plan to keep so i didn't bother. there is a nonzero chance i will replacing the horned doe with a daughter this year just because i don't want to deal with it :/

feed-wise they aren't too bad but they are ruminants and have ruminant problems. but you have rabbits and a lot of the same things apply so it's not a huge deal. they need roughage constantly which means if you don't have grass you have to buy hay, and if you can't get it cheap then get fucked. everyone's feeding methods and routine is individual to their needs and herd but mine have free-choice local hay, and i give them a flake or two of alfalfa a day depending on their condition (less in summer when there's grass, more in winter when there isn't.) i give a little grain twice a day; i personally find it less expensive and better and keeping condition on them than just alfalfa, plus it serves as a great incentive to get them all back in the shed when i need. same as the alfalfa, they get less in summer and more in winter, just kinda eyeballed and adjusted as needed to keep condition. the buck and his wether get less grain and their alfalfa is pelleted because it just works a little better with how their feeders are set up. speaking of feeders - goats LOVE standing in feeders and will shit and piss in them and then decide the food is inedible. we screwed 2x4s about six to eight inches over their troughs to prevent this but it makes the horned ones' lives harder so we will need to adjust them. in general goats will not eat food once it touches the ground. it's really fucking annoying because they will waste so much fucking hay that way if you don't have some kind of solid bottom to their feeders. this is An Problem with alfalfa because they ONLY eat the leaves and rarely eat the stems, but the leaves just fall out of normal hay racks and onto the ground. which is lava, obviously. also, they will get addicted to alfalfa and grain. and if you do not give them these things every day they will make your life hell. which is like, fine, if that is part of your feeding plan, but let's just say it took beetlebug over a month of constant screaming before he finally adjusted to his new diet of not being free-fed alfalfa like he was at his old home. he nearly was returned to sender x:

my goats are not huge fans of treats/cookies for some fucking reason and will only eat them if they're apple flavoured. most people do not have this problem.

this is only really a con for me because i also have sheep, but because sheep can't have copper in their mineral i have to bolus my goats a couple of times a year as needed which is a pain in the ass. the fig newton trick does not work because of aforementioned 'we only eat apple cookies' reasons so i have to do it the hard way and it's a rodeo every single time and i hate it. you know they need copper because their fur will get kinda dull and sometimes curly, and they will get what's called a 'fishtail' where they will start going bald on the tip of their tails. it's more a problem for me in winter because we have good copper in the soil, but when there's no grass they need a little help.

goats have soft feet that don't grind down well so you have to trim them which isn't a huge issue but just like, an issue. it's hard on my body particularly so i don't do it as often as i know i should. a trimming stanchion is worth the money. also make sure you get good quality shears because shitty ones will kill your hands.

goats do not suffer in silence and much like cats their definition of suffer is sometimes not actually suffering at all, and is just like....you did not give them alfalfa at Exactly the same time one day so you get to listen to shrieking until you do it. my nursing mamas sleep in a different area that is closer to the house and they will get Real Mad for a couple days the first few times i put them in there at night, and then also every morning if they run out of hay.

if it matters to you, the milk is naturally mostly homogenised and it means if you want to make cream or butter or whatever you have to have a cream separator which are complicated, expensive, and annoying to clean. the milk will separate a little bit on its own, so i guess if you really wanted to you could just skim it every day but you still won't get all of it without a separator.

and lastly, if you keep a buck then you get to deal with Buck Issues™️. famously, bucks stink. my old buck stank all the time, but derek is actually not so bad. outside of horny season he has very little smell but even when he's pissing on himself to appeal to the ladies he isn't nearly as fragrant as orion was. orion you could smell from a mile away. they are also rough on fences and gates for goat reasons but also for horny reasons if there's a doe on the other side. make sure your gates latch Real good. they also need less fat in their diets, can be pushy, and need a companion of some variety or they will get sad. derek lives with beetlebug, who is wethered, and they get along well. some people can keep bachelor groups but it seems to be the exception, and i personally have no need for multiple bucks so i can't give you any firsthand experience.

what i like about goats:

milk milk milk milk milk. it's real good. at least my goats' milk is; not all breeds have tasty milk. to me my goats' milk just tastes like slightly above 2% cows' milk, with a little bit of a grassy or piney taste depending on what they've been eating. mini nubians are nigerian/nubian crosses so their milk is very high in fat and very sweet. kinders are pygmy/nubian crosses so they are a little meatier and the milk is sweet but a little less high in fat.

they are very personable animals and usually will eat out of your hand even if they aren't fan of being pet and cuddled. bottle-raised ones can range from 'dog you can do anything to and likes hanging out with you' to 'trying to climb you constantly and eat your hair' but i have never had that last problem because i don't allow climbing or constant pestering. the worst i've had with a bottle-raised kid was daisy being really like...sexually aggressive towards me and that's why she's in the freezer now. they have big personalities and they are very fun to watch do their little goat thing and there is constant pecking order politics happening to spice things up.

they come in lots of pretty colours and you can mix and match pretty easily to find a breed or cross you really enjoy. like i said, i like the mini nubians and kinders because they are on the smaller side - around 60, 70lbs or so for the does i would guess? and their heads are right at bellybutton range for me who stands 5'8" - bit still have a lot of space between the udder and the ground so they are easy to milk. the nubian in them also helps their teats be a good size and their milk to stay rich.

them being browsers is sort of a blessing and a curse. they are awesome for clearing areas of brush, which is a pro for me who lives in himalayan blackberry hell, but if you want them to mow their lawn they'll only eat grass if there's nothing else. browsing is also why they are so rough on fences and why they tend to eat more shit they shouldn't, they just stuck their head through fence and try whatever they can. the browsing is why i like running sheep with them; the sheep graze and the goats clear.

in conclusion

i know that cons list is huge but i do genuinely like my goats. and i think we all know that i just like animals that make my life objectively worse. i don't know why i'm like this. they do really suck ass sometimes though and i absolutely understand why so many people hate goats. they are absolutely not for everyone. if you drink a lot of milk you are honestly probably better off getting a cow if you want an animal that probably doesn't make you want to pull your hair out at least once a month. if you just want lawnmowers, get sheep. they aren't as personable or friendly usually but they are content to eat grass and shit and don't cause near the amount of crimes.

[dckweed]

THE NEXT THING YOU KNOW, gator tillman

in which gator tillman and his arranged bride figure out life and each other and what a real relationship means to them.

warnings: mentions and depictions of abuse, mentions of bruises, arranged marriages, romance, humor, dead parents, slow burn relationship (not completely but not not), basically we know the tillman men are asswipes so i 100% see Roy forcing gator into this kind of situation for money for his militia, eventual smut with kinks such as thigh riding, gun play, choking, spanking, lots of marking and possible spit play. this chapter contains oral (m receiving), 18 & over only, MINORS DO NOT READ.

sigh I really wish i could stop procrastinating :( work & life has been busy and i keep putting my favorite hobby off. anyway, how’s life been?

also, as a reminder i love receiving asks about these two! i also love recieving maybe some drabble ideas too :) my inbox is always open!

this is normally where I post the mood board but, for some reason, it won’t attach.

series masterlist here, series playlist here.

PART SEVEN: the passenger princess and the best friends

Gator had taken to having you driving around with him at night when he was on patrol, you cozied into the passenger seat of his cruiser, music blasting from your phone as you tried desperately to create a wedding playlist for the quickly upcoming nuptials. It wasn’t how he normally spent his night when he was on duty, but he really didn’t mind it, you were cute and funny and kept him entertained throughout the long hours and after a couple of days he found that he didn’t think he could ever ride in the cruiser again without you, which is why he found himself making you a cozy passenger princess kit like he had seen on instagram one day on his day off when you were off riding horses with his dad again. Even though he was uneasy about you being alone with his dad, he’d much rather you be alone with him than alone with Boyd, he knew his dad wouldn’t lay a hand on you, nah, he would rather him do that as your future husband. Not that he ever would, he’d rather shoot himself in the dick than ever raise a hand to you.

When you got in the car to ride with him that night, you were nearly brought to tears, the thought that he had done it all for you was so sweet. “Gator, baby!” You whined, tears thick in your voice. You didn’t see the way he had to clench his fist, didn’t know the way that he had been dreaming about you saying those two words from under him, or maybe even above him..he didn’t know if you were ready for that with him yet, didn’t know if you wanted to wait until marriage or not.

“Just somethin’ to keep you comfortable, Pearlie.” He said, and you grinned, reaching over the center console of the cruiser to give him a slobbery, lip glossy kiss on his cheek (he wouldn’t let you know that those were his favorite). “Got you a blanket and some snacks down there in that little basket, and even a couple of books and an eyemask..gotta keep my girl entertained and properly rested, right?”

“You’re the sweetest, you know?” You say getting comfortable in the seat. He only hums, putting the key in the ignition. He was glad that you thought that, because he knew that there would plenty of people who would disagree with you.

“Did you enjoy your ride?” He asks, looking over at you as he drives down the dirt road of his dad’s ranch. One hand on the wheel, the other on your thigh, where he had taken to resting it whenever he drove.

“Yeah, but it’s weird not riding Bubbles,” You say, squirming a little uncomfortably in your seat. You had ridden his horse, a black stallion called Rudy. “Your saddle gave me saddle ass..” His was definitely thicker and stiffer than yours, had your legs spread wider than you were used to. You were glad you wore leggings on the ride, rather than a pair of jeans, knowing it would have made it all the more uncomfortable. He chuckles as you continue on talking, telling him about what you and Roy had talked about, and then how you wanted to pick some wildflowers from the meadow for your wedding bouquet instead of buying one of those expensive ones from the florist.

A few hours later, after he’s stopped at his favorite gas station and ran in to grab you guys some drinks, and you’ve still babbled on endlessly about things that you thought were probably useless but he didn’t seem to mind, he remembers something he’s meaning to tell you, or rather, ask you.

You’re in the midst of drinking your cold Dr. Pepper when he looks over at you, a pensive look on his face. “What?” You ask, eyebrows furrowing. “Did I spill?” You run your fingertips over your neck and the collar of your shirt, the pink fabric unscathed. He shakes his head, smile tugging at his lips. “Then what is that look on your face?”

“I, uh..have something I need to ask you..” He says, straightening in his seat, eyebrows knit together. “And, please, feel free to say no- you probably should anyway-but, my uh, friends, and their uhm..wives..were wondering if you’d like to come out with them tomorrow night?” A smile spreads across your lips, looking at him giddily. “I’d be going with you, of course, don’t want them to tell you anything too embarrassing-”

“Why would i say no to that?” You ask gently, enjoying how flustered he seemed.

“Because they’re going to tell you embarrassing stories about me..” His cheeks are flushed red, the back of his neck too and he looks anywhere but at you, eyes trained on the field outside of the cruiser to the left of the intersection he’s posted at for the evening.

“Can’t be more embarrassing than what Lucy is going to tell you when she gets here..” You counter, giving his hand a quick squeeze. “I would love to meet your friends, Gator..”

He turns to look at you then, a sheepish smile on his face. “You sure, Pearlie?” He asks, and you only nod in response. “When does Lucy get here? I’m excited to meet her, the way you keep talking about her though i feel like I already have.”

“She gets here on saturday..” You say, a sheepish look crossing your face. “Was gonna ask if you wanted to go to the airport with me..’s a long drive..”

“‘Course i’ll go with you, baby.” He says, almost offended by the way his voice changes. “You never have to ask.”

You blush then, the heat rushing through you. You bite your lip, eyeing him in the darkness of the cruiser, the only lights coming from the little gadgets on the dash, illuminating him blue and pale white. You had been wanting to do more with him the past couple of days, to take things further, but he always seemed so hesitant. You were shy for some reason when it came to him, even though you never had been in the past with guys you messed around with (but never got to date, thanks to Boyd). You wondered if maybe you weren’t being obvious enough, or maybe it was because you were usually in a house where one of your guys’ parents was.

Maybe now was a good time to try. You lick your glossy lips, putting on your prettiest smile as you bat your eyes up at him, moving closer to him from where you sat perched in your now designated seat, your little pink blanket pooled at your slippered feet as you lean your body closer to him, pushing your tits together as you shift, and you don’t miss the way his eyes stare right at them even in the darkness. “You’re always so sweet to me, Gator, y’know?” His brows furrow as you inch in closer to him, face tilted up at him, lips perked as if you’re about to kiss him. “Wanna do something to tell you thank you..”

“Pearl, you don-” You shut him up with a kiss, climbing up into your seat, body stretching over the console, his large hand finds the back of your neck with ease, pulling you closer to his body with a quiet moan in the back of his throat, you can feel the cool band of his watch on your skin, cooling your nerves.

You’re as close as you can be in the tight, awkward space, your tits pressed to his chest in the angle you’ve put yourself in, but you want more, crave more..You know your first time with him shouldn’t be in the cruiser though, not on a dark and deserted road, that wasn’t how you wanted to fuck your soon to be husband for the first time, but that didn’t mean that you couldn’t do something else for him, and maybe for you too if you really thought about it. His big hand is squeezing your neck as your hand moves from his hard, muscled chest down his torso and to his pants. You weren’t surprised to find that he was already hard, his cock uncomfortably pushing against the fabric of his uniform pants, you can’t help but to squeeze it a little, your hand moving up what bit of the length you could grasp from the outside of his clothing.

You hear his breath hitch, and his lips pull from yours. “Pearl-”

You shush him, looking at him with doe eyes as you use both hands to unbutton his pants, unzipping it before you reach your hand in beneath the waistband of his boxer briefs, pulling his stiff cock out. “Jus’ wanna thank you, baby..” You peck his lips once more before you lower your head down, using both hands to pump his cock as you let out a glob of spit, you were practically drooling at the sight of it. He was long and thick, his cockhead already red and clearly needy for attention that you were more than happy to give. With what you hoped was a whine that was so quiet he wouldn’t have heard it, you lower your mouth to him, moaning as you do (or maybe it was him, you honestly weren’t too sure at that moment).

“Jesus-” His hand was on the back of your head now, long fingers pulling some of your loose hair back as you get to work, bobbing and sucking, tongue swirling around him. You continue like that for a few seconds, letting him hit the back of your throat as he bucks up before you pull away, both hands wrapped around him, pumping him up and down slowly. Strings of spit strung from your lips to his cock, hanging on as you continued your work, looking up at him for just a few moments. His eyes were wide, pupils blown so far that all you could see was black as he watched you. “Feels so good baby,” He grunts, hips bucking into your hands. “Don’t fuckin’ stop, m’gonna cum..” You put your mouth back on him, sloppy sounds reaching your ears as you continue to suck, your hands still pumping what parts of his cock you couldn’t get into your mouth, all the while his hand is gripping the back of your head so tightly you thought it might bruise, his hips pumping up, bullying his cock farther into your mouth as he holds your head in place, practically fucking your face. It’s not much longer before he comes completely undone, hips pushing up into your face, his hand holding your head still as you gag on his cock, the entire thing almost down your throat when you feel it, the hot ropes of his cum pulsing out, coating your throat in his spend.

You pull away after a moment, his hand still on the back of your head, rubbing it gently as you swallow his cum, looking up at him with doe eyes and a smirk as you tuck him back into his pants, barely waiting for him to go soft before you zip him up. “Thank you.” You murmur, and he give you an incredulous look.

“You’re thanking me?” He asks, clearly bewildered. “Baby, you just gave me the best head i’ve probably ever had..I’ve never cum that fast before - it’s kind of embarrassing actually, maybe even a little worrisome- and you’re thanking me?!”

You shrug a little, cheeks heating up as he looks at you like you’re a chicken with five heads. “You deserve it.”

“Jesus Christ..” He breathes, running a hand down his face.

“Don’t take the lord's name in vain, Gator..” You mock, giggling when he swats you on the ass before you fully move back into your seat.

“Honey, you keep sucking me off like that for the rest of our lives, i might just start praising Satan..” You cackle at his words as he runs a hand down your face. “You hungry? I don’t think i’ve seen you eat any snacks..need to eat something, pearlie..”

The rest of the night is spent with you dozing on and off in the passenger seat, waking up every so often and chugging down some of your pop, hoping the caffeine content was enough to keep you awake for the rest of the shift, you didn’t think it was fair to Gator that you got to sleep while he had to stay awake all night. You’re in another spout of dozing when the car starts to move, waking you up with a start.

You hear the cackle of his radio before you take note of the sky turning lighter by the second, looking over at him with bleary eyes. “Officer Tillman, heading in to the station.” You hear someone talk back on the line, unable to quite make out what they say before he gives a confirmation back and puts both hands on the steering wheel.

“What time is it?” You mumbled, rubbing your eyes with the back of your hands.

“Time to go home, baby.” He says softly, looking over at you. “Put your seatbelt on Pearlie girl, you’re breaking the law..”

You hum in response, reaching your hand up blindly for the belt.

While you had been spending most nights or mornings at the Tillman house, Boyd had wanted to get caught up on the wedding plans, which Gator had somehow remembered and drove you back to the estate, a foreboding feeling washing over you as he pulling up, the dark sky breaking to day as he pulls to a stop in your usual spot.

“I hate this house.” You murmur, your face darkening as you stare up at it.

Gator hums from the driver's seat of the Jeep, eyes not leaving you as he reaches over for your hand, clasping it in his own before bringing it to his lips for a kiss.

“I know, baby..” He murmurs back, rubbing his thumb along the back of your knuckles. “Just a couple more weeks and I’ll get you out of here for good, yeah?” He would make sure that you never had to step foot back in this house unless it was on your own terms. Even if the two of you didn’t work out, even if you guys ended it after the two years that he had noted were mentioned in the contract he had signed, he would make sure that you never had to come back here, that you would be out from under Boyd forever.

The house was quiet when the two of you snuck in, closing the front door as quietly as possible. There weren’t any lights on yet, and the girls’ nanny wasn’t here yet, Boyd was nowhere to be seen or heard, hopefully out on the ranch somewhere. You quietly made your way up the stairs, treading quietly to your room at the end of the hall where you close and lock the door behind you, not wanting to be bothered.

“Bed..” You groan, kicking your shoes and pants off, crawling up the comfortable mattress. Gator wasn’t too far behind you, his body falling down next to you just as you’re starting to doze off again, arms folding around you, pulling you into his warm chest as he does. “G’night, Gator..” You whispered, falling into sleep.

You don’t hear him say it back, or the whispered ‘I love you’ that follows a kiss to the top of your head.

You’re oddly nervous to meet his friends, aside from his family they’re the only people that actually know him, and knew him when he was younger. They got to know all the parts of him that you never did, good and bad, and you hoped that you lived up to their expectations. You spent over an hour getting ready, putting on one of your prettiest, but most casual dresses, and the boots that your mama gave you. Spent so long on your hair and makeup that you could tell that he was getting agitated with you, even though he wasn’t out right saying it. He kept stopping behind where you were sat at the vanity, looking at you and then looking at his watch again. Things with Boyd had been awfully tense earlier, your nerves were already rattled because of it and he knew.

“Why are we even meeting at a bar? I’m under 21..” You say, face contorted as you contoured your jaw line and cheek bones just the slightest bit.

He looks at you, eyes pinched. “Because you’re going with me, they’ll let you in, and even so m’not gonna let you drink around these idiots.” He sighs and watches with hopeful eyes as you set down your brush, only to pick up another, and a little compartment of pink something or other that he was sure you were going to start applying to your cheeks.

“Would you quit pacin’ back and forth?” You mutter, swiping your makeup brush across your cheeks in the direction that flattered you most, the blush you were laying down blending perfectly. “Just need to lip gloss and grab my purse..”

“Don’t need no damn purse-” He says, looking at you with narrowed eyes. “You think I won’t pay for all your stuff anyway?” He was still out of sorts that you grabbed your purse any time the two of you went out together.

You pout. “What else am i going to carry my extra makeup or period stuff in?”

“I’ve got pockets don’t i?”

He’s exasperated with you by the time you decide you’re ready to leave, ushering you out the door (sans purse), and in a hurry to get to the bar. You couldn’t tell if he was eager for you to meet his friends or if he was genuinely nervous. Your nerves were shot, sure, but it wasn’t anything that you were too scared about, it made you wonder what was so wrong with his friends that he was.

The bar is noisy by the time the two of you arrive, your arm looped through his, a red and green neon sign hanging above the door and in a couple windows, he lead you through, nodding towards a raucous table of patrons in the back corner before he stops at the bar, ordering a cold budweiser. “And a Diet Dr. Pepper for my girl here,” He says, slipping the bartender a twenty dollar bill. You lean into him, looking up with a smile. A squeeze of your hand is your response as he turns to survey the room, his free hand raising up to signal to the group of people from earlier. Next thing you know, there’s an obviously pregnant dark headed woman around his age bounding up to you, cheeks red with a smile as she lets out a happy squeal and wraps her arms around your fiance’s neck, tearing his arm from yours without warning.

A flash of jealousy flashes through you briefly as his arms go around her, though his face clearly says he’s caught off guard before a smile crosses over it. “Jesus Christ Lo, didn’t think you could run this far along-” He mutters, a half hearted chuckle leaving his lips as a smile spreads across the womans lips. He turns to you immediately, his arm going around her shoulders, giving them a good squeeze and you can tell from the way that they lean into each other that they have a close relationship, but obviously not in a romantic way. It makes you smile. “Lo, this is my Fiance, Pearl, this is one of my best friends, who is married to my other best friend, Lo.”

“You are absolutely glowing!” You say, smiling happily at the woman, whose eyes immediately gloss over and you start to panic, why is she crying? You look frantically to Gator, who only shakes his head in response to your frantic eyes. “I mean..i’m..um…please don’t cry-”

“Oh Gator! She’s adorable!” The woman starts to sob and you open your mouth, eyes furrowing in worry. “You’re so cute, gonna be just what he needs!” She pulls a white tissue out of her purse and shakes it out, holding it under her eyes. “Don’t mind me, y’all, im not sad, just really freakin’ pregnant!”

You breathe a deep breath of relief, and somehow, manage to get through the rest of the night without any anxiety. You get to know his friends, telling you about all the stories they have to tell you, embarrassing their friend to no end. It was nice to see him be able to relax and be himself, something you hoped you would get to see more of in your time with him to come.

They didn’t bat an eye at the fact that you were barely 19, but, they had known Gator a most likely his father long enough to realize that the Tillman men had a type (hell, you had been around only a short time and you noticed it the first time you met his step mom) when it came to their women, and were probably used to it, or didn’t feel the need to question it.

As the night wore on you became more comfortable with the group and their girlfriends and wives, who were all close to Gator in the same sense that he was close to his sisters, by the time he had a couple beers in him you had been willingly dragged off by the pool tables, the jukebox in the corner of the bar turned up and loaded up with a bunch of songs that the girlfriends and wives had you dancing too, laughing and generally having a good time as you got to know them, enjoying the girl time.

You don’t know about the conversation happening in the corner at the table, don’t know the way two of the guys are looking over at your group, smiles on their faces.

“She’s a good one, ain’t she?” Brady, Gator’s best friend since elementary school (and Lo’s husband) asks, bringing his lukewarm bottle of beer to his lips. “Think this whole thing is gonna last?”

“Yeah, I do.” Gator says quietly, his eyes not leaving you as you dance hand in hand with Sydney, Lo’s sister, a grin as big as texas on your face. Brady had been the only friend that he had told about how he came to meet you, about how your parents were forcing both of you to do this. Brady knew what his relationship with Roy was like, and didn’t pester him about why he didn’t just say no like a grown adult could, just offered his support in any way that he needed. “She’s..she’s different, Brady. She’s like..like how you told me you felt about Lo all those years ago? She’s that, man..and I know it sounds crazy because i’ve only known her a few weeks, but man..she’s just..everything..” That didn’t even began to feel like an accurate way to describe the way he was beginning to feel about you, but it would have to do for now.

“Well, it’s about damn time you found it.” Brady says, clapping him on the shoulder be catching the time off of his watch. “Shit, i didn’t realize it was that late, better get Lo home to bed, i’m sure the sitter could use a break from the rascals.”

Gator hums and looks at the watch, nearly choking. It was after eleven, his dad would kill him for coming home this late, and Boyd would probably kill the both of you too. It was worth it though, he decides as he scoots out of the booth and makes his way towards you, still spinning hand in hand with the girls, big cheesy grin on your flushed face.

“Mind if I steal her?” You hear from behind you, and you stop what you’re doing to face him, happy smile spreading across your lips. “It’s time to go baby, gettin’ real late..” He says, spinning you slowly in his arms, just like he did that night in the kitchen.

“I think they like me.” You giggle, tipping your head back to look up at im, he can’t resist pressing a kiss to the tip of your flushed nose, not giving a shit that there were people around.

“I think they like you too.” He says, lips curving upwards at the way your nose scrunches up. “It’s time to get you to bed though, gotta go dress shoppin’ for the engagement party tomorrow, right?”

It took you a bit of goading, but you managed to let him give you the keys, reminding him that a member of the law enforcement should probably set the good example by following the law he enforced and he had to admit, you had him there. He had only had three, and he wasn’t tipsy, but you sounded so pretty begging him that he caved and tugged them out of his pocket before slipping them into your patiently waiting hand, mentally praying that you didn’t drive like a maniac down the back roads of Lehigh this late at night (you did, he nearly pissed himself).

taglist: @ruth-barnes @justherebecausesafarisucks @daisy-is-a-writer @xxbookdrunkdemigodxx @girlwiththerubyslippers @keerygal @lilllbabyyy @boa-hemian @sweetdazequeen @emilyj444 @whisperingwillowxox @babyqnn @lou-la-lou @aestheticaltcow @finalmoondragon @boxofsmittens @pollyspocketdimension @kassy-munson @frostandflamesfanfic @mysticalstar30 @totally-bogus-timelady @nerdypinupcrystal @emmiecrush5-blog @witchcovenboys @starksbabie @marrowfrog00 @boop369 @lelenikki @xmalfoyweasleyx @girlwiththerubyslippers @keerysfolklore @gothicwidowsworld @palmtreesx3 @sacr1ficial-lamb @kingdomkitten32 @littlelovebug98 @cillsnostalgia @stardancerluv @iamaconfusedpan @cupofjoekeery @underthecanyonmoon @redrae

[shedpuns]

been too long since I've written let's have some fanfic written in the tumblr post box give it up for fanfic written in the tumblr post box

Undyne and Alphys watch mew mew kissy cutie together and don't quite manage to talk through their feelings. pre-canon.

Alphys has seen Undyne make a lot of faces, watching anime together on her creased old couch in front of her dented old CRT television. She's seen her go from tensely polite to curious to genuinely intrigued to unable to look away, seen her laugh and cry and rage at the screen. But they are finally, FINALLY, watching Mew Mew Kissy Cutie together, and she has never seen this face before.

Undyne is... afraid?

Her fins are flared wide and drawn flat against her head. Her hand (the one that wanders around Alphys' shoulders a few episodes into a marathon) is white-knuckled on a teacup she hasn't touched since the opening credits, three episodes ago. Her knee is bouncing like a jackhammer. Her eye is locked on the screen, pupil dancing over every frilly shoujo detail Alphys has seen a million times.

Alphys has never seen Undyne scared before. Undyne would surely tell her that she doesn't get scared. And scared of what? This show--the original, at least--is far from a horror show. The only horrifying thing about it is all these bits from the first season that haven't aged well, geez, someone have a talk with these losers in the writers room about consent, but Undyne's been willing to laugh off a crude joke before.

"U-undyne?" she finally asks, pausing a fight scene that she's seen in so many gifsets it practically plays behind her eyelids. "W-we don't have to watch this if you d-don't want to."

"Huh?" Undyne's face resolves itself into something of a frown. "Of course I want to watch it. This is important."

"I know it's my f-favorite, but if you really d-don't like it, then--"

"Like it? Why would that matter? This is a whole anime about that mind control thing. The power to make people do stuff. Like see, this Mew Mew Kiss--" She gestures at the screen. "What would you even do to fight back? One moment, you want to kick her ass, and then the next, she tells you to stop and you listen?! That's not fair!"

"I m-mean, it's actually f-fairly well balanced because if she misses the kiss--"

"But on other shows, they do it with their weird eyeballs, or just their words! How could I beat a human that just... forces me to give up? Or worse, turn on the people I care about!"

Undyne really likes imagining how she'd fare in matchups with the main characters of animes. It's basically become her number one hobby lately. "W-well, maybe your f-f-friends would talk you out of it!" She lets the scene unfold in her head. Undyne's dizzying strength would have been turned against her, maybe by the dark, edgy, Mew Mew from the remake series. Pinning her to a wall, eye clouded with someone else's anger, she would hesitate with their faces inches apart as she obeyed the cruel command. Then Alphys would cry out to her, claws scrabbling against the shaft of her spear, begging her to remember the time they spent together. Recalling her true, heroic, nature... She imagined Undyne's face softening, her eye widening as she realized what she was doing, and just as the horror started to hit her, Alphys would lean closer, chasing it all away with a kiss of her own...

Undyne seems less excited by the idea. "I'm stronger than all my friends. Even Papyrus probably couldn't beat me in a fight." She bites her lip. "Maybe D-- Asgore could knock some sense back into me. Remind me who my real enemy is."

Alphys tries not to let her disappointment show on her face. "I-I know you wouldn't t-turn evil, a-anyway."

"Evil, yeah, I'd never kill anyone just because some human ordered me to. But what if they used me as their bodyguard like Riu Riu here? I mean, why would they ever mess up and ask me to do something that's against my nature. That's obviously like the number one way that people break out of mind control. But what if it's not one big evil thing like trying to get me to betray my friends. What if it's just... I dunno, throwing a fight? Letting them get away?"

She taps her claws together. "W-w-what's so b-bad about it, then, if it's not a big deal?"

"Everything! I mean, I'm supposed to be killing them! It's like basically all I've ever wanted to do my whole life! And then, poof, I don't want to do it anymore, because of a stupid human's stupid powers!"

"I d-don't think that could r-really happen..."

Undyne gestures vehemently at the screen.

She is right, the idea of Undyne losing all her hope and drive at a human's hands does scare Alphys. She's just much, much, more scared of her losing her life at a human's hands. That's a much more realistic fear, anyway, not that she wants to open up that can of worms. "W-well... you have a really p-powerful, um, mind. I don't think a h-human could just d-do that to you. You're so p-passionate about your dreams."

"I dunno. Like, I used to be such an impatient kid... I used to think there had to be some way to do it faster. Do it without waiting for the seventh human to fall. Asgore's really the one who got me dreaming about... this." She gestures vaguely, spear-shaped bullets dancing over her fingers. "So probably all they'd have to do is get me to think I was still setting us free..."

"W-well, then you'd still have your dream, w-wouldn't you?"

"I guess? But like, in a twisted, fucked up, way where I'm just doing whatever the human wants!"

"U-undyne, I can't even get you to put a helmet on when you go on patrol. W-who says it'd be able to convince you of anything you don't want to do?"

"Heh. But seriously, you don't think Mew Mew could mind control me into doing whatever she wants if she fell underground?"

Alphys stammers. If they were really going by the rules of the anime, then yes, of course the Mew Mew Kiss would work on Undyne. But scaring Undyne in real life isn't what she had meant to do at all! And anime totally was a good way of studying humans, even if some of the specifics were made up, but she's pretty sure if she told Undyne that, she would realize that Alphys mostly sits around reading manga and watching anime rather than being productive, and she's not sure if they're good enough friends for that. Or if they'll ever be. She breaks out in a cold sweat imagining that conversation.

"See! Exactly! She totally would mind control me! And then who would protect you? Isn't that totally scary?"

"I-I'm r-really not afraid of it! I k-know you'd pull through and d-do the right thing. L-like, um..." She casts about for an example in the show. "O-okay, so there's this character in season three who actually t-totally, um, w-wait, that's spoilers, isn't it."

"Hmph. You really think I'm that tough?"

"B-believe it!" Alphys points at the sky the way a hero would.

"I want to believe you, but... it'll just hurt even more if I let you down." She looks at her feet, her face in shadows. "I need to be prepared."

Alphys casts about for anything to say. "W-well, maybe we can watch s-some more together? Y-you don't have to worry about it tonight, after all. A-and if you're scared, you could... h-h-hold my hand, maybe?" As soon as it's past her lips she starts sweating even harder, sure she's really fucked up this time, but Undyne just sets her mug down on the side table and takes her hand.

Something she can't quite read flickers over Undyne's face. "Sure! I mean, it's pretty cool, even if it would be scary if it happened to me. Like you can totally tell she's going to actually fall in love with Riu Riu for real and feel bad about using him as bait, right?"

"I c-can't just t-tell you! That's spoilers!" Alphys giggles, glad of the distraction. She can tell Undyne's not convinced, that she's still scared of getting mind controlled by an anime girl in real life. She knows she could wash all that fear away, but the feeling of Undyne clinging to her hand... she can't bear to wash that away with it. To ruin their friendship and leave Undyne totally alone. Isn't it better like this? Maybe she can convince Undyne to trust her own strength, or better yet, to dream of something better than killing a human. Something together, maybe.

So she stays quiet, and presses play, and watches Undyne more than the screen long into the night.

[joeloverture]

ok, more on this because apparently i have to say all of this. if responding to it makes the hate worse i honestly could not give less of a fuck about it than i already do. i am here to express myself so u best believe that is what my ass will be doing!!

this is gonna be a bit long and a bit winded bc ive been keeping this close to my chest for a while.

i genuinely don't fucking write for an audience. if i was writing for an audience you'd have never seen me post fair's fair. you'd have never seen me writing flesh currency! i write what i want. when i'm horny. when i want to make other people horny (i guess?). when i feel like it. when im healthy enough to do it.

no my fics are not the magnum opus. no they arent being strung up in the goddamn louvre. that isnt what im trying to do. i juice joy out of my fanfic writing and am KIND enough to put it on the internet for others to enjoy if they so wish. nobody is holding you at gunpoint to read my "shit writing".

fanfic writers either dont post enough or they post too much you really, really gotta pick one.

i spent like 5 months on hiatus in debilitating pain and was in and out of the hospital for a few weeks out of those months. i couldnt even write a goddamn diary entry. you have no idea how happy i am to have my creative voice back.

its... my winter break. of fucking course im writing lol i dont have anything else to do!!!! there's nothing else id rather be doing because i actually like this!

id rather write as a hobby than crank out anon hate, personally. maybe that's a me issue?

then, a bit more on identity and the role of identity in all of this

ive had to start counting the amount of anons i get with hateful slurs in them. since coming back i've been called the r slur. the f slur. the c slur. the b slur. everything in the fucking book. not only is it uncreative, its regressive.

y'all either dont like me because im annoying or blatantly showing autistic traits or outspoken abt being marginalized or bc you dislike my writing or because you have absolutely nothing better to do (the latter of which is particularly pathetic)

regardless you are weaponizing my identity to either try to terrorize me in general or drive me off of this site. think about how weird that is.

also so many of these asks are laden with an undercurrent of ableism. like, oh my god, the disabled girl is posting a lot ! woah! holy shit! call the fucking news outlets!

oh my god, the disabled girl is showing autism traits on main!!!! should we call autism speaks? should we invite sia?

this isnt even me defending myself, i feel no obligation to defend myself against these fuckers. i just did want to arrange my thoughts for the dash. sometimes talking helps me compose that sort of thing.

[howlsmovinglibrary]

hi, im sorry if this sounds stupid but like. how do you get your brain to switch from academia to fanfic. like when im done with my lab reports and finally have time to write i feel like a textbook mimicking human speech

hey anon! none of this is stupid at all, please don't feel bad for asking a question :)

i think i should preface by saying, I wasn't a girl in STEM. I'm an English lit girlie, so often my academic work got me thinking about stories, which made me want to write stories, and thinking about D&D which made BG3 the perfect outlet! I couldn't write a paper titled 'D&D vampires are weird, huh?' but I could write stories around those themes. So sometimes my fic just became a place for me to explore the stuff that interested me but had no place in my professional work, which obviously made it easy to generate ideas and content.

but I have my advice under the cut! (bc this accidentally became a long post lol).

what advice I can give, however, is advice that was given to me by another friend, who is also a PhD student. She said (in quite a clinical way, but that's the kind of person she is) that she saw her fic and her writing as 'building mastery' - which was something she'd learned in therapy. the idea that practising something and working at it makes you better at it but also makes you feel better about yourself, because you can find enjoyment in the hobby and see improvements in your work. she wrote fic, to see a progress and a learning curve she didn't see in academia.

Idk what STEM is like, but often my experience in academia left me feeling stupid or inadequate. everything I wrote there mattered, and it didn't always bring me joy. I actually started writing fic, because I had just finished my PhD funding applications, and after sinking 100+ hours into something that made me miserable, I just wanted to write words that were fun for a change.

it doesn't always feel like it, of course, but fic doesn't matter. it should be fun. it can be silly, it doesn't have to fit a wordcount, it can be whatever you want it to be and it's never getting assessed at the end. and - unlike academia - typically it only receives positive feedback. so I write fic, bc it doesn't make me feel like shit, even when academia does. it's a different ballgame, and it has a much lower stakes, and more forgiving relative curve. i like it, becuase i switch my brain off, and get to have fun and play around in a way i don't in acadeimia.

so I guess my advice for this particular question - other than "please rest", bc like the last person who asked me about this you sound a wee bit burned out beloved - is.... it's literally fine, if you sound like a human textbook. forget the words and how they're coming to you as you write them - are you having fun with the idea? do you like the positive feeling of writing them, and the positive feedback you get either from yourself or others? that's how i switch from academia into fic mode. I find something that i actually find recreationally enjoyable (lol, academia).

let go of all expectations, and just follow the story or plot noodle that itches the happy parts of your brain. don't let it be about quality at all.

and, in case I've misunderstood the question and this is actually more an issue of stylistics - my fic got wordier as a result of my academia. even worse, my ACADEMIA got wordier as a result of my fic!!! (when the adverb curse follows you into your day job lmao). I don't think there's any way to prevent crossing the streams. But you can be sillier in fic, so add some jokes! make the stupid reference! let everyone be a little less formal!

and, if all else fails, get a second pair of eyes :) maybe from someone outside of the institution. they can tell you if you've become a pretentious ass overnight or not x

[two-wizards-in-a-trench-coat]

Had this blog for ~7 years now so I thought I should finally make a pinned post.

About me:

Wiz, he/him, 20 something. Art student and random hobbyist extraordinaire.

bluesky instagram inprint ko-fi

I mostly post/reblog about fandoms. I have a terminal case of never shutting up, so this blog can get crowded. If that's not your thing, and you want to see my drawings without the babbling, head to @only-one-wizard-in-a-trench-coat , no hard feelings lol

I try to use tags, and mostly fail to. but here are some links anyway:

fandoms : ace attorney disco elysium dungeon meshi madoka magica Mob Psycho 100 star trek utena

my stuff : asks handmade stuff by me my art my cat

Blog FAQ under cut :

+Do you post nsfw?

Yes and no. There will be artistic nudity, usually exempt of genitalia. Very non-sexual but if your boss want to see that? up to you. I also don't consider "female" chests to be nsfw, just like the "male" ones. again, in non sexual contexts.

if you DO want to see real nsfw stuff, head to : @sexywizard-in-a-trench-coat , which is brand new and will get asses in the future.

+Can I use your drawings anywhere?

Yes, but credit me where you can. Obviously only for non-profit uses.

+Do you take commissions?

Not at the moment. I likely won't for the rest of 2025

+Are asks cool?

Yes they are, and I love getting them! be it recommendations, questions, or just a nice message :) sometimes I forget to answer, mostly because I'm very busy IRL. oops

+Can I tag you in a chainpost?

note: anon off because people can't behave

+Can I DM you?

Sure, especially if we're mutuals. Answer time may vary depending on how busy I am. Please do not send me just a "hi" message, or I'll just assume you're a bot. Otherwise don't be weird in my dms and we're cool

Sure! Be aware that my notifications are very crowded and I easily miss thing like @'s. If you reaaally want me to see something, shoot it in the ask box.

+What's you blocking policy? :[

I think my blocklist is longer than my follow list at this point. I live for my peace of mind, which includes blocking anyone who vaguely annoys me. Again, no hard feelings

+Do you add descriptions/ID to posts?

I try to, I'm aware there's at least a few people following me that use them. I always add them to silly photoshops I made, and to screenshots. If I didn't it's likely because I was on mobile and trying to add a description with the app is akin to torture if you ask me (tumblr fix this pretty please)

However, I don't add them to my drawings. The reason I went for visual art studies is because I'm shit at verbally expressing what my art means and it makes what is supposed to be a hobby on the side become a chore. If someone is kind enough to add/make one I'll always reblog it and add it to the original post.

[meanbossart]

A long over-due ask compilation (Art & Music)

It's vaguely based on a short story from the book "The Consumer" by Michael Gira, specifically "The Boss". I think it came up in conversation with a friend or something when I was picking a new username, so that's how we arrived at it - this was almost a decade ago so, my memory on it is a little hazy!

{MORE UNDER THE CUT]

HAHA thank you so much!!! Glad you enjoy what I do 😎🍻

I BELIEVE this little guide I put together over here might be helpful to you, also! I touched on pretty much everything you brought up.

As for reference material when it comes to facial expressions, I have a mirror next to my desk which I glance at often and make weird faces at LOL and for consistency, it's really a matter of learning to dissect and remember facial structure. It's just something you end up developing an eye for when you've done it for long enough! Naturally, if we're talking about drawing existing characters, it's always helpful to just look at some pictures of their mugs and take a minute to define what features about them make their faces recognizable - I touch on this at the link above as well!

I do plan on making a "drowstarion" (love that, by the way LOL) playlist eventually, life's just been kicking my ass and I hardly have the time 😭and when I do, I just wanna draw.

Otherwise I don't have any other playlists floating around at the moment, BUT the one my boyfriend made for his Vellioth comic can be found here, and it might scratch a similar itch!

Thank you! I believe this was in reference to this post. Something like that takes me about... An hour??? If we're talking just the colors, at least. Though that's a really rough estimate because I take a lot of breaks, so my sense of time when I work ends up pretty skewed. Even if the application of the colors themselves took less than 20 minutes I probably spent 2 hours just staring at it LOL.

My friend, I have no idea. I'm in a constant battle between "I want to draw more realistically" and "I want to simplify my art so I can draw more/faster". What you see is the result of that ongoing brain-tug-of-war.

Also, just the way I assume everyone else develops theirs - they see stuff they like and emulate it until their art is Frankensteinish enough to be it's own unique thing!

I'm far from a Type O Negative buff, BUT I'm happy to share some of my favorites with you! They're quite scattered across a couple of their albums so I'm not sure I have a favorite, but I would say October Rust is a good starting point.

In no particular order, these are my most listened tracks of theirs: -Love You to Death -Black N.01 -Haunted -She Burned Me Down -Can't Lose You -I Don't Wanna Be Me -Be My Druidess -September Sun -Tripping A Blind Man

Alas, I was one of those people who was already drawing in kindergarten 😅 though I would say I only started taking it seriously when I was around 15-16 years old. As someone who has tried their hand at several other hobbies since reaching adulthood, I get what you're saying that it can kinda feel like... You missed the wagon? I've felt that way about all kind of things lol

That said, I've seen adults managing to develop their art skills extremely fast and effectively before. Understanding where and how you need to improve, and how to follow lessons/guides best is something that is vastly improved by maturity and knowing how to best hone your time, attention, and resources - and those are skills we completely lack as children. So, I sincerely believe that as long as you commit yourself, you can definitely get to a point that you're happy with in a couple of years if not less.

JUST DO IT BUDDY we are all just people looking through a screen and you won't ever see, talk, or meet 99% of the folks who ever clap eyes on what you post. Whenever you start getting nervous about sharing something, take a minute to ask yourself why you're nervous, and if none of the reasons have any genuine substance besides being afraid of what people "might think", just go ahead and post it. You're no mind-reader after all, and if you are, I doubt you can hear what a guy from Argentina or wherever is thinking about the art you made.

Point is, nobody online can touch you 🤷and if someone doesn't like what you do, they can simply choose to not interact with it, and if they do you can block and move on. There are zero reasons for you to feel "bad" about putting up a doodle when our experiences on the web are so easily curated nowadays.

[itzr4v3n]

Shattered Mirror/Distorted AU

Might actually make a drawing for this one 🤔

Anyways, I don’t know what y’all expected with the name, but it’s probably a bit misleading, lol

The main idea with this one is that everyone has their personalities altered, “time traveller moves a rock. The timeline:” type shit. They’re basically a copy of their canon selfs, but reflected differently.

Logico: a bit too unserious for his own good, often makes jokes and laughs in serious situations (aka murder scenes), probably killed someone before with no regrets and would do it again.

Irratino: Somehow never in a good mood, always snaps at people or talks in a sarcastic tone, Logico loves to purposely rile him up and Irratino hates how he lets himself be affected

Their rival arc is definitely more defined and probably takes up more time than in canon. I haven’t settled on this one yet, but I was thinking that instead of a contact with God, Irratino actually fakes all his visions ‘n stuff and is just an extremely lucky charlatan. I don’t know if I should make Logico a believer instead, cuz opposites y’know? I have considered going a full 180° for Irratino and he has contact to Satan. … would that be too much?

Uh anyways, another character I’ve settled on is the Iron Tsar. Instead of being feared and also probably hated, he’s actually a pretty chill dude who gained support from his people through good means. Major Red’s motives obviously change too, because why overthrow a dude who isn’t problematic? Unless you’re some next level jealous.

But that’s pretty much all I got so for, I don’t handle other suspects as much as I do with the mentioned ones. Except Grayscale. I make content with him and I still don’t know what to do with him. Actually make him interesting? Have some weird ass hobby he talks about a little too often, but somehow never repeats a story?

I require ideas.

Mini rant under the cut, except I don’t know if I’m being dramatic or reasonable.

So a total of 25 people voted in the poll and I honestly expected more traction for the first post. It has been 24 hours and the only person who even interacted with the Swap AU post just fast-reblogged it.

And it’s not a case of people not seeing my post, because some people who came online later gained likes and or comments (nothing against the users who posted more recently tho).

Unless it is? Did my post not show up? Is it my turn to be shadowbanned?

I don’t know, for some reason it’s been occupying my mind the entire day. The low interaction isn’t the main issue, I almost always get very few notes anyways, but it’s the fact this was unexpected on my end that made me upset. The few other AU posts or crossover posts I’ve seen always had either long comments or discussions through reblogs. And then there’s me. Niente.

*sigh*

I don’t want to force anyone to interact with my shit, in fact I don’t expect myself to suddenly gain a ton of attention after this.

I just wanted to get that out.

k bai

[agust-june]

Let's talk about KIM DOYOUNG...

I just came here to say if I CATCH yall defending Doyoung out here it's blocked on fucking site. I need yall Ncitzens and Kpop stans to STAND THE FUCK UP.

Out here posting pictures of ugly ass snowmen with MCDONALDS BS. GFTOFH. I saw this yesterday but Koreaboo pissed me off and these tweets of these fucking weirdos made me mad. So imma talk about it here.

Imma post screen shots of tweets and for those of you that are clearly not assholes or not delusional, let's point and laugh.

Fuck the first tweet bc though he is not supposed to be making political statement. That's what he's doing. And I will drop that man like a trash bag into the dumpster. The SECOND TWEET FUCK KIM DOYOUNG'S FEELINGS. Fuck him what about the feelings of the Palestinian fans that he has? What about the people you are actively dying from bombs? starvation? Dehydration? What about them? Out here actively making SNOW MEN using McDonald's shit FUCK HIM. AND FUCK YOU TOO WEIRD ASS BITCH.

The first tweet here. It's not about his family or friends. Doyoung is in the public posting pictures of McDonald's snowmen. He's fucking weird. And if we find out about his family and Friends they can get the smoke too. They ain't special. The last tweet on the bottom...yall spend too much online into kpop. I need people to be educated and up-to-date in the world bc what do you mean does that country exists??? I need people to WAKE UP GO TO FUCKING SCHOOL OR GET HOBBIES OUTSIDE OF KPOP PLEASE AND THANK YOU.

We knew SM wasn't shit. We knew. Doyoung, I am not shocked he's in SM. I like to give people chances but once you fuck up you fuck up. And THIS??? Oh baby you lucky SM needs you for they check which is why I will not be supporting Doyoung and I will give you the Wendy treatment bye bitch.

Hell isn't hot enough. That's all imma say.

On that note, I want to add that as a K-pop fan and Ncitizen, I am greatly disappointed, but I am not surprised. I had a FEELING someone in NCT was gonna do this bs. For once, I was hoping to be proven wrong. But that hoes to show you... we don't know these groups. He isn't the only one supporting these companies. Other idols are, too.

Here's some links to other idols

I also want to note that I will be taking my Doyoung post down even though it had Johnny in it. I'm clutching my pearls like a southern white woman and leaving. I can't get rid of the merch I bought, especially my DoJaeJung albums, but I won't be buying anymore. I understand some of these idols are under contract. For example, New Jeans they have a contract with Coca-Cola, and they just had a meal with McDonald's. That I completely understand. But ACTIVELY spending money to McDonald's and Starbucks and posting it!?!? Nah, you gotta go. Idc who you are. I don't care you have godly teir vocals you're done. It's not that hard to TRY to do something good. I am actively avoiding Starbucks, McDonald's, actively staying up to date on what's going on in the world. It's not just Palestine. It's Congo. Sudan. Yemen. If I can do all of that work a job. Go to school. Watch One Piece (an anime that actively talks about corrupt governments, genocide, war, propaganda, etc). Kim fucking Doyoung and other kpop idols can do it too. They just don't care and want to keep rolling their checks (he probably need to with that pocket change he probably getting). I AM BEGGING yall K-pop stans who still don't get it to STAND UP. Get a life. Read a fucking book. Because yall look dumb as hell, and I'm sorry, but my EGO MY PRIDE will not allow me to be dumb and continue to turn a blind eye when I know people are dying in a genocide. And for those of you saying "well just educate the idol." Baby, there's a reason why college is for adults, and it's not a mandatory if grown adults want to make the choice to learn they'll do it. These idols are GROWN it's not my job to educate adults who are older than me, and it shouldn't be your job either, especially FOR FREE.

I hope yall have a good day today, and I hope yall stay safe out there!

[mintyofthewired]

Media that I’m glad I don’t kin from/characters that I think I might kin but don’t want to kinfirm and why because I think this deserves a post

-Leviathan from obey me. Major reason why I don’t want to kinfirm him is because I ship myself with his brother and I don’t want incest on my doorstep😭. Other than that I am painfully like him. I isolate myself in my room all day, play dating sims obsessively, collect a ton of shit, have 6 dipshit siblings who don’t understand my hobbies, the social anxiety and being generally embarrassing. Being an annoying ass otaku. Being a sexual deviant and having an incredible amount of envy. Yeah. Only thing that doesn’t line up is my massive fear of water and mild dislike of snakes in this life but I need to ignore this because I am Ibuki and literally dated his brother

-Fred franchise. I’m just incredibly glad that despite how obsessive I am over this franchise because it’s fun and silly I don’t kin from here. Thank god

-any other British sitcoms- I’m talking about the inbetweeners, Friday night dinner, this country, Gavin and Stacey and outnumbered. Not that literally any characters from these series is as egregious and nightmarish as Mark Corrigan, I’m just glad I don’t kin anymore else from any of these shows.

-any other Otome games. For now at least. I got slight kinfeels for Gill Lovecraft while playing through Cupid parasite but obviously there’s a wide range of otomes and knowing my luck I will end up kinning from more. Which I don’t need considering I’m a fucking sheep and Richter Sakamaki

-toddler shows. See this is actually quite a difficult one to define for me because I watch an unholy fuckton of kids media for like little little kids and I do get kinfeels from some characters but like. Idk if it’d be weird to post about it?? Or if it’s weird people out? Because like for me my care bear kins and pony kins are really strong but like these are different. I am literally Minty and everypony/care bear/cousin who I’ve listed to an extent but like this is different as most of the other kids shows I watch tend to scew younger. Aswell as Minty being my highest kin

-Carrie White and Annie Wilkes. I feel like this is fairly self explanatory. When reading Carrie and misery growing up I felt I could at least understand each characters motivations and that is scary to me and I’m actively putting off rereading them because of that. I can understand Carrie more because she was heavily traumatised and was had a fully justified crashout while with Annie she just acts completely insane and believes it’s out of love but she’s just being selfish. Do not want to be the villains from any Stephen king novel

-ashfur/leafpool/crowfeather. I don’t want to kin cats? Especially an evil murder cat. Or both cats in a forbidden relationship?? I don’t need to kin cats???

-Kiibo. I refuse to kin a character from Danganronpa v3. I can’t tell if I find him cool or kin him, I find his takes on gender objectively correct

-Alphys from undertale. I definitely did when I was younger before I understood what the word kin really meant (when I was 12 I was like omg I’m literally her im this porcupine, I didn’t realise she was a dinosaur) but I don’t want to deal with all the guilt that kinning her would entail, other then that she’s a pathetic weeb scientist with a tumblr it makes sense

-Yuri from DDLC. Like alphys I definitely kinned her when I was younger but I haven’t interacted with DDLC properly for years and I don’t really want to considering the emotional impact it left on me. Especially considering Yuris character

-Ritchie Tozier and Beverly Marsh from IT. I really connected to them both for very distinct reasons when I first read that godforsaken book and if I reread it now I’d be scared of latching onto them and being like huh that’s why. I was so emotionally attached to the losers club throughout the whole story and it probably helped I was the same age when I first read it, but yeah before I could put it into words I had massive kinfeels for those 2

-sweetheart from my little pony tales, idk for certain there tbh

[judjira]

heyo it is ur friendly neighborhood joo !

it has been Quite A While since i last posted anything, whether on tumblr or ao3, but worry not! i am not dead yet, and i have no plans on being dead. i've been stuck for a while on writing, but i'll get to that in a bit.

for some reason, now that it's the end of the year, i took a moment to sit down and really just think about things, and i've come to one conclusion.

god, 2024 really sucked for me.

now, i know mindless rants and thought dumps like this aren't why you follow me or anything, but honestly, this is a writing blog, so i'm going to write. if you don't like that, boohoo (jk feel free to stop reading and go send that ask about when im going to update (fic) haha)

a lot of my friends like to say i give main character vibes, and that's not me boasting. genuinely i wonder what it is they see in me that makes them think that. maybe it's the way i tell stories about what happened to me, or how i can manage to keep up a conversation and seem like an extrovert, or just genuinely the way i live my life.

for context, i'm a freelancer doing events and theater, which means i have really, really strange work hours, and even stranger income. i suppose, to someone else, my life seems cool, leaving for work at 11 pm, going to different cities for shows, getting to meet celebrities in the industry and whatnot. and yeah, if i didn't work in this industry, i'd think that's pretty cool too.

but i do work in this industry. and god does it suck so bad. i try a lot to find the reasons why i keep doing my job, and it happens a lot like this:

i do a gig with a lot of hiccups, problems in management, toxic people, underperformance, and i consider quitting. then, something really great happens at the end, and i gaslight myself into ignoring my imposter syndrome and i keep working, waiting for another job.

so it's a lot like someone only giving me food when i'm desperately starving, just enough to keep me going for one day.

do i enjoy it? hell no. is it worth it? somehow, for some reason, at the end of it all, yes.

but the one thing i really don't like about it all is how it's affected my personal relationships. i take all responsibility for the way i act and the way i behave, but i'd be a liar if i said my workplace didn't influence me the way it did.

this year has been so full of ups and downs with my parents, my siblings, my girlfriend, my friends. i feel like, somehow, in gaining independence for myself financially, i somehow realized in the first place what i was so dependent on in my relationships. which sucks.

and to make it full circle, another thing i really don't like about it is how it's taken me away from my favorite hobby, which is writing.

i have missed out on writing for so long that it physically pains me sometimes that i'm away from my laptop and clicky keyboard, unable to pour my heart out onto some weird ass twice fic that barely anyone's gonna read. it might seem shallow to someone else, hell, probably to most people, but damn if writing isn't the one thing i come back to each and every year.

which, i think, brings me to my next point, which is i think i have to apologize for not being so active. i've made a lot of promises that i haven't been able to keep with my fics, and i have so many drafts that haven't seen the light of day. and i don't think it's just you people who read my fics that i have to apologize to, but also myself. i think i took writing too seriously and ended up having it weigh down on me more than it should have.

the whole point of this damn thing is to have fun, and to make sure other people have fun, and i don't think i've been having a lot of fun recently, honestly.

so, yeah. an apology. to you guys. and to myself. i think. im a fuckin weirdo.

but yeah, that's it for this rant. if you made it to the end, congrats! i'll be posting a s'agapo update soon, and i'm also working on the next out of bounds. after that, god knows what i'm updating. i'm gonna stop lying to myself and saying that i have an update plan when in reality i just write whatever's on my mind.

anyway, thanks for reading, and i hope you all have a very happy new year. love ya