#making this gifset healed something in me

[cedric-k-rossignol]

Ciel & Sebastian + une gifle

[cabinetofquriosities]

The Ritual

Agatha x Reader || Warnings: Smut, violence

Done for an exchange with @marril96 who made this gifset as a preview for my upcoming detective Agathario fic. Check her stuff out!

Agatha hadn’t been able to use her magic for months.

She couldn’t sense a hex or a binding spell. If there was one, it was intricately done. No, there was a block. Regular people had the flu, witches had blocks. It wasn’t often and it typically never lasted more than a few days.

It was sometimes brought on by being near overpowering magic while your own was unstable. Other possible causes were new overwhelming emotional changes, mental torture, or lack of practice for more than a few decades. It was often psychosomatic, caused by the mind rather than anything external.

Agatha had never suffered from it, given that her major life changes were almost immediately followed by absorbing the powers of a coven. Nicky died, she created the con of the road. Rio left her after brief reunions, she would find more witches to use. The pair had finally let go of one another decades ago, so it couldn’t have been Rio.

When she met you, though, her entire world shifted. She was finally feeling grounded by someone who wasn’t running off for a greater purpose like her ex did. You both made each other your purpose.

She had plunged the depths of her mind to figure out what the cause of her block was, but couldn’t find anything. She researched every text on the subject of blocked magic. All it said was to find the cause and make peace. Agatha had always considered peace to be overrated.

Agatha had moved in with you a few months prior, right around the time of her magic freezing up. You both lived in an old victorian at the edge of the woods. You found yourself holding her at night, whispering words of comfort in her ear. You would help her look for answers while reading up on your own healing magic. You supported her the best you could. She was happy with you, but incomplete without her purple. It was a new thing for Agatha to feel happy and to feel powerless. Both were unnatural states for her.

One day, you were working on a new healing salve as the sun set outside. You plucked a bloom from the dried flowers you had hanging over the kitchen island amidst the pots and pans. You dropped it into the boiling water, watching the color change.

A crash yanked you out of your focus. You froze, conjuring a ball of energy in your palm as you listened for a possible threat. Instead, you heard a familiar groan. You extinguished the orb before running to the source of the sound.

Agatha had collapsed after opening the door. Blood poured from a wound in her side. She had bruises and cuts all over her form. You knelt down, moving her onto her back so you could get a better look at the damage.

“What happened?!” you asked in a panic.

Agatha let out a pained wheeze. Your heart raced and your chest tightened.

Agatha coughed up some blood before saying, “A warlock… he followed me from the magic shop in town… he knew who I was. Wanted to… be the killer of the witch killer.”

As if she had summoned him herself, a tall man appeared in the doorway. He was unable to come inside due to the sigils surrounding the house. He smiled and laughed.

“A healer? Oh, this is going to be far too easy. I am surprised the great witch Agatha Harkness couldn’t find a protection witch to keep her s-“

You cut him off with a powerful beam of destruction shooting out from your palm. So many mistook healers for being peaceful or having passive magic. They didn’t realize that such witches also held command of the opposite end of the spectrum. While you could heal, you could also harm more harshly than other types of witches. It was the balance of magic that some so easily forgot.

The warlock landed in the dirt like a ragdoll. You stepped out onto the porch, looming over him. He winced, opening his mouth to say something before you shot him with another blast, holding this one until it left him a blackened husk of meat.

Once your were assured of his demise, you ran back to Agatha’s side. She wasn’t doing well. You knelt down, having a second look at her injuries. She gasped sharply in pain as you moved her shirt up enough to see the wound. It was definitely one that could prove to be fatal with how much blood was being lost. You were too far from any hospital, so you would have to find a way to somehow heal an injury that was damn near impossible to do with magic.

You were a healer, yes, but you were a healer of witches. You could only help so much with fixing regular people, especially when they were harmed by a witch or warlock. With witches, she could channel her magic into theirs to heal their bodies. The fact that Agatha no longer had access to her power meant that you couldn’t save her life without going to extreme lengths. Even then, there was only a chance of success.

You stood up and ran to the kitchen, leaving Agatha on the floor in the entryway.

“Oh no… it’s fine… I’ll stay right here…” she called.

You would have smiled if not for your fear. As long as she was being her sarcastic self, she was still alive. You already had half of the concoction done since you had been working on healing salves already, but the substance itself wouldn’t be enough. It needed a ritual to go along with it.

You threw in more ingredients and let them boil as you ran to the living room to retrieve candles. You rapidly and clumsily set them down in a circle around your girlfriend. You noticed her eyes had drifted closed. Your stomach dropped and you bent down, shaking her awake. Agatha woke, groaning in pain.

“Owww! Damn it!” she scolded.

“Good! Keep yelling at me. Keep your eyes open. I’ll be right back,” you said before running off.

She did just as you said, finally following orders for once. You ripped a page out of one of your spell books. She loudly complained about everything she could as you brought the serum, gemstones, matches, and chalk out. You set them all down and got to work. You drew sigils in chalk between each candle before lighting it. The gemstones were placed in a specific order.

You consulted the torn page that detailed the ritual. You had never attempted this ritual before. It was too risky for both parties involved. If it went wrong, your own form could be drained of life along with hers. Agatha, who had been bitching just a moment before, recognized the preparations.

“No…” she said.

“Yes,” you said back while lighting the final candle.

“No… there has to be another w-“

“This is the only way.”

“My love, you can’t…”

“I can and I will,” you said with an assuredness that you weren’t sure you completely felt.

You moved into the circle with her, stripping her clothing from her. She gasped and winced, but neither of you had the luxury of being delicate. You carried on, taking the serum and pouring it from the pot over her torso, coating the injury. Her back arched as she screamed out in pain. You hated that you were unable to let it cool properly. The salve instantly healed the burns caused by the boiling temperature. She passed out from shock, but you slapped her awake.

“Agh! What the fuck?!” she yelled, “You couldn’t have BLOWN ON IT or added ice before giving me THIRD DEGREE BURNS?!”

“Oh, hush, they’re already gone,” you chided.

You began chanting in Sumerian as the energy around them shifted. The ritual was older than most, something that was created before Latin. The candles would be the first measure of how it was working. The flame shrank to nearly nothing, signifying a lack of effectiveness. A second passed before the wicks re-ignited with bursts of fire. You felt your body relax slightly as you kept chanting.

You then changed your chant, moving to her wound. You hovered your hands over it as they glowed. The imbalance of power created a vacuum, with Agatha’s lack of magic causing your own to begin breaking down. Your face began to lose color and your arms shook. The gemstones vibrated against the wooden floor as a warning that you swiftly disregarded. Agatha realized what was happening, watching your lips turn blue as her own body began going cold. You doubled over, your face close to her shoulder.

“S-stop,” she whimpered, wanting at least one of you to survive the ritual.

You simply kept chanting, even as your voice constricted. Agatha brought her hand up and cupped your cheek. You turned your head to face her, knowing in that moment that you would rather die with her in an effort to save her than sacrifice her to save yourself. The only way out was through, for better or worse.

You leaned into her touch as your skin began to warm again. You watched pink returning to her lips and cheeks. The wound was also beginning to heal slightly. You could tell from Agatha’s smile that you looked better as well. You finished the chant and looked back at the page showing the steps of the ritual. A sly smile tugged at your lips.

“I doubt we will have an issue with this part,” you said.

“What do you mean?”

You didn’t answer as you hiked up her loose skirt. You said an incantation before bending Agatha’s legs. You leaned down, your eyes gazing into your girlfriend’s as your tongue slipped inside of her. Agatha whimpered before arching her back. She shook from the shooting pain of the wound, but the pleasure outweighed it.

You slid two fingers into her, curling them with every thrust. You needed to bring her to the peak of pleasure to essentially give her body a jump the way you would a car. It would give Agatha a magical influx on par with adrenaline in combination with electric shocks to the chest. With nothing to work off of on Agatha’s side, you had no clue if you would survive this. Her climax could restore her or it could drain you both depending on what the universe allowed.

Although you would never tell Agatha for fear of giving her a fatal case of performance anxiety, Agatha was familiar enough with the ritual to know the stakes. She looked down at you with so much love. She had been so terrified of having someone who she loved like this in her life, but this risk you were taking for her cemented what she should have already known. You were devoted to her more than anything and would never leave. As that realization clicked into place, something finally changed within herself.

Just as you were beginning to feel another drain, Agatha’s body began to emanate energy. The magic rushed through her, finally flooding in after months of being blocked. Her acceptance of you as a constant in her life sparked it.

You could taste the power restoring itself as you devoured her. You sucked aggressively on her clit as your fingers thrusted faster. Both of your eyes locked, your magic balancing with hers. The wound healed with a blinding glow, closing completely with her orgasm.

She had never looked more beautiful than she did in that moment with her energy visibly engulfing her. Shades of purple licked at the outline of her form. Her eyes shone with violet and gold. Her walls clenched and pulsed around your fingers.

One candle flame extinguished itself after another. The stones stilled. The aura of Agatha’s power absorbed back into her. She took a shaky breath, lifting herself up on shaking arms. You crawled over her before kneeling, straddling her lap. Your palm rubbed over her now unharmed skin. You couldn’t believe it had worked.

Her hands held your face and guided you to look at her. You beamed at her like you had fallen for her all over again without knowing.

[daynascullys]

AMIDST THE CHAOS: An MSR Playlist ⤷ Part One: Mulder

It's the heart in you, I know it in my bones, that made me change direction when I thought better off alone.

playlist / songs ↘

FAVOR by Julien Baker / "Who put me in your way to find? What right had you not to let me die?" I think in the context of an MSR playlist, this song speaks to Mulder's self-destructive and self-sacrificial tendencies and how he comes to learn that Scully does what she does for him — "I used to think about myself like I was a talented liar / turns out that all my friends were trying to do me a favor / I always want to tell the truth but it never seems like the right time to be serious enough / ... / how long do I have until I've spent up everyone's good will?"

FOUR by Sleeping at Last / The lyrics featured in the gifset are from this song: "This blurry photograph is proof; of what, I’m not sure, but it feels like truth" is such a Mulder line. I'm not sure what enneagram I would guess Mulder is, but I think there's something to this song and his tendency to seek out the extraordinary/learning to find the beauty and mystery in the ordinary. Plus the line right before the one above: "I've fallen in love with a ghost / I lost my balance when I needed it most." And in an MSR context: "What if we already are who we've been dying to become? / In certain light, I can plainly see a reflection of magnificence hidden in you... maybe even in me."

I LOVE YOU, I'M SORRY by Gracie Abrams / Anyway... pain!! This song describes how Mulder loves so well: "I like to slam doors closed / Trust me, I know it's always about me / I love you, I'm sorry." And I think it touches an important point about how trauma can impact behavior: wanting to do better is one part of healing, but sometimes we end up in patterns despite ourselves. It doesn't mean that it's not on us to do better, but there can be a feeling of helplessness that comes with trying to do better and failing, knowing you're hurting others and wishing you were learning faster.

SOON YOU'LL GET BETTER by Taylor Swift / This song is so devastating to begin with—truly one of my favorite songs ever—and it is absolutely the worst thing ever to think about the cancer arc and this song :) This whole song fits cancer arc (and abduction arc/literally any time Scully is hurt) so well, but I especially die when I think about the bridge: "And I hate to make this all about me, but who am I supposed to talk to? What am I supposed to do if there's no you? / This won't go back to normal / if it ever was / it's been years of hoping / but I keep saying it because / 'cause I have to." And if you really want to hurt, watch this incredible video. It's fine, I'm fine.

READY TO LOSE by Ingrid Michaelson / The chorus really says it all: "I'm ready to lose everything but you." This song is also where the lyrics I featured in the post come from: "It's the heart in you, I know it in my bones, that made me change direction when I thought better off alone."

ANYWHERE BUT HERE by SafetySuit / Something something abduction arc... "and when I'm not with you / yeah, I know that it's true / that I'd rather be anywhere but here without you."

RUT by the Killers / "So I'm handing you a memory I hope you understand / that steadily reminds you of who I really am." This song reminds me of I Want to Believe; I think it's some of what I imagine Mulder to feel when Scully prepares to leave.

COME AROUND by Rosi Golan / "You feel like breathing / come around, come around, come around, come around to me / can't you see you're my lifeline?" To me, this song feels like a companion to "Rut."

A THOUSAND YEARS by Christina Perri / Cliché, I know, but hear me out — "The Field Where I Died." I know their conversation is Mulder asking Scully about it, but it's so Mulder to believe that they've known each other and been friends, always. "I have loved you for a thousand years, I'll love you for a thousand more."

THE ARCHER by Taylor Swift / "And all of my heroes die all alone / help me hold on to you." There's something so, so beautiful about the way this song builds — "they see right through me, they see right through me, they see right through—can you see right through me? they see right through me, they see right through me, I see right through me, I see right through me." And the way the questions that are asked—"Who could ever leave me, darling? But who could stay?"—are then answered: "you could stay." And guess what? Scully does.

LET YOUR HEART HOLD FAST by Fort Atlantic / This song was one of the choices I almost put for the description: "to believe I walk alone is a lie that I've been told." I've always loved the core message of this song — let your heart hold fast, for this soon shall pass — and it makes me think of Mulder surviving all these years of loss, especially with Samantha.

ORPHEUS by Sara Bareilles / I think there's a theme of "don't give up on me" in these songs, but I think this one adds softness because it goes beyond what Mulder perceives as his own personal shortcomings to speak more generally: "don't stop trying to find me here amidst the chaos / though I know it's blinding there's a way out, say out loud: we will not give up on love now." The beginning of the song makes me think of Mulder as a child: "I know you miss the world, the one you knew—the one where everything made sense because you didn't know the truth." And then one of my all-time favorite lines: "if the bottom drops out, I hope my love was someone else's solid ground." And really, Mulder is love.

PEACE by Taylor Swift / I'm so glad that we get to see Mulder grow over the course of the series and that this song begins to take on new meaning, but I think this song speaks well to the idea that chasing ghosts and monsters is part of who he is, as well as his worry that that isn't going to be good enough, that he can't be what Scully needs—"would it be enough if I could never give you peace?" I think by the end of the series, the meaning of this song can change to refer more to the questions that may never be answered, rather than Mulder's difficulty giving up the chase, which reflects his growth in his partnership and relationship with Scully. But I also think this feels like a very Mulder song because there is so much insecurity; I think at the core of his character is a sense of unworthiness, and it's part of what's so beautiful about his relationship with Scully—eventually, he's able to give her the peace that she brings him.

[myownwholewildworld]

well, i decided to bite the bullet on this one! thank you to the lovelies @almostfoxglove and @gothcsz for the tags, and a special thanks to @jolapeno for this beautiful 2024 tootathon event! i think it's a pretty common theme between us lot, but seems like tooting ourselves is not our forte - at least not mine! i had been lurking in the shadows for a long while, but july came around and i said, why the hell not? so basically i'm a baby in the fandom, learning from the very best. i've been writing for almost two decades now, but mostly in spanish and on different platforms. i found myself looking for a creative outlet this summer and transitioning out of my online rpg era (foroactivo/jcink, i won't miss you). i am so glad i did, cause i found a home here 🥹 anyway enough yapping!

i have written over 170k words this year (probs a lot more if i take into account my rpg shenanigans) and at one point i've been very attached to everything i've written, so it's really hard to pick some favourites, but here we go!

per aspera ad astra (marcus acacius series) - this is one series i wasn't expecting to write as a fic this year as it was planned for something else, but here we are! i am just enjoying all the angst, it's like therapy lmao

the right kind of wrong (dbf!joel miller one shot) - look... the brain rot won and i gave in to the dbf trope. i loved writing it and seeing that other people enjoyed it too!

the way to a great wide somewhere (beast!din djarin one shot) - i just... idk 🫠 the moment i thought of this i knew i had to put it into words or i would quite literally die.

when the moon howls (javier peña one shot) - as i was rewatching narcos i had this itch i needed to scratch and the jolabrew + withcheese fall challenge gave me the perfect excuse to try my hand at writing Peña.

i regrettably have not been giffing as much as i would have liked to this year, but i promised myself i would pick this up in 2025 again! but here are my two favourite gifsets i've made.

tlou 1x03 - if you know me, you'll know that my favourite episode from tlou is 1x03 because i love bill and frank to fucking bits 😭 it broke me and it healed me in so many different ways.

pp press tour interview - when i watched this the first time i was like "yeah 1000% agree" because marcus acacius in that white armour is my fucking everything.

nothing of this would have happened if it wasn't for the people who stop by and read our stories, and for the writers who feed us amazing fics - writers and readers alike, god i love y'all. we all keep this amazing fandom alive. and i know there's been some rough lows this year, but here we still are!

i could go on and on tagging people who make me smile every fucking day but i'd be bound to miss someone and i could not forgive myself if i did that. so please, take this as my heartfelt thank you to every single one of you. i see you, i appreciate you, i love you. like for real.

some np tags for moots who might want to participate (and apologies if you already have!):

@joelmillerisapunk @joelslegalwhre @inept-the-magnificent @punkseyes @styleispunk @aurorawritestoescape @syd-djarin @katiexpunk @baronessvonglitter @orcasoul

[rjshope]

gifmaker / cc wrapped 2024!

I was tagged by most beloveds @raplinenthusiasts @cosmicdreamgrl @jkvjimin @cordiallyfuturedwight @yooboobies @taehyunghobi and @jinstronaut(thank you guys🖤🌷) to share my most popular posts and my favorite ones.

Let's go!

january:

⟡ Yoongi with painted hands // he's cute here no arguments from me ♡ adorkable namgi // lol ♡ that Namjoon live // i'm still recovering btw

february:

⟡ happy Hope on the street♡ rapline saving Jin // i love how you can see their personalities here ♡ Jimin as the cutest dinosaur ever // esp soft for this one

march:

⟡ thank you fo being my artist Jimin live // he said very important thing here ♡ namjin bickering (+Hobi enjoying the show) // i live for bickering namjin ♡ Hobi being Yoongi's favorite seat // yoongi never beating lil meow meow allegations

april:

⟡ Tae and his big brown eyes // y'all just couldn't resist him could you?😁 ♡ that Malta Namjoon // despite the fact that this is my least fav bv season i have a soft spot for this gifset ♡ Dimple gifset for Kayla's birthday // very special work for my very special person🌷

may:

⟡ vibing Namjoon // lmao this is just two simplest b&w gifs and what have y'all done??? 🙈🙈 ♡ namjin laughing // luv my soft boys ♡ Nuts MV // i'm just a weak woman what do you want from me

june:

⟡ SYS Final Kim Taehyung // i'm happy with it, i love this gifset very much <3 ♡ hyung line dynamic in a nutshell // they never fail to crack me up lmao ♡ laughing namgi // so wholesome i love them so much!

july:

⟡ Jin being a good infuence on Namjoon pt.2 // i carried the thought of this gifset in my head for two years, it displays perfectly why these two are so important to me and it's nice to see this post being so appreciated ♡ Hobi being handsome to infinity and beyond // i'm still lost for words you know ♡ Tae gifset for Annie's birthday // this one is very important to me bc it took a lot of my time, blood and sweat to make it, and seeing it floped breaks my heart. Well at least Annie liked it, that's the most important thing. ♡ namjin "revenge is sweet" gifset // if you hear someone making weird evil giggling noises that's me

august:

⟡ jihope being jihope // this is not a gifset this is a happy pill ♡ hyung line from memories of 2015 // i hope i don't need to explain this?!?! ♡ RJ comforting rapline // i'm still sobbing

september:

⟡ namgi dealing with their Jin-hyung // lol#2 ♡ Namjoon birthday compilation gifset // it was my first time doing something like this and i really love how it turned out ♡ maknae line for Pat's birthday // i know this is my post but whenever i see it i sit and look at it in awe (i'm allowed to be proud with myself from time to time) ♡ sope flirting // they are so married it's annoying

october:

⟡ Jin and his mindset // if more of us were like him it would be a merrier place (yes, quoting king of my heart here) ♡ namseok gifset for Julia's birthday // i had so much fun making these ♡ peach Namjoon // iykyk ♡ winter package 2020 hyung line // rare photoshoot with just four of them in the same unit

november:

⟡ Jin, Joon, the saxophone and Jimmy Fallon // totally agree with y'all😌 ♡ Bangbangcon namgi // Yoongi's smile i'm gonna sob ♡ Namjoon and his healing smile // i miss him so much ♡ Jin performing Another Level // i do not make performances gifset often and this is a good song and a good performance and i love how these look

december:

⟡ cute barefaced Yoongi from ITS1 // lol we all are so whipped for him ♡ Jin for Dicon // playing with color isolation was fun ♡ soft (and a bit drunken) Hobi from ITS1 // the look on his face make my heart flutter ♡ cuteness agression namgi // i can't stop giggling, Yoongi your crush is showing ♡ ON Kinetic Manifesto Film Shoot Sketch | Hyung line // my boys looking fine as hell, that's it that's the tweet

Idk if it me or you really can see how my january gifs look different from december gifs. It didn't happen on purpose, but it's something that is interesting to see.

It fun to see how my year started with 2019 year and with MOTS: Persona era. And now i'm closing it by entering BE and Life Goes On era *breathes out* Yeah, life goes on and my journey goes on as well😁

Anyway it was my second year here and i'd like to thank you all for staying with me, for you support, for your reblogs and comments, it means a lot💖 I enjoyed this ride, let's continue next year with the boys!

tagging @namchyoon @kimtaegis @jung-koook @hvseoks @btsiu

@taee @kth1 @heybaetae @oumoumimi (no pressure ofc <3)

[yichens]

edits i made in 2024 ✨

thanks for tagging me krish @i-got-the-feels [x] ♥ am also trying to incorporate the tumblr top ten posts into this bc i don't want to do that as it is, so thank you for tagging me into that antania @riggerbison [x] and zey @fadelsburger [x] ♥

Post your most popular and/or favorite edit/gifset for each month (it’s okay to skip months!)

tagging: @forcebook @thamepo @chezlalune @ruanbaijie @luna-lina @srnileforme @wanderlust-in-my-soul no pressure and if you've done this or something like this already, please send it my way or tag me into the post's replies! i'd love to look at everybody's creations and give them some love :')

JANUARY: morkday + holding hands [x]

the most popular and tbh my personal favorite was this morkday edit i made based on a quote that is from the damn city of bones (2007) by cassandra clare. i didn't know that back when this quote punched me in the face and made me think about it for a couple of days but i honestly laughed when i finally googled it... worked out very well tho! i love hand symbolism, especially in last twilight, and the golden colors are lovely for them ♥ i also ended up loving the last image in this set even if i first struggled with the composition.

this was my number 1 post on my tumblr top ten.

(also gotta add that it still feels insane that last twilight was still going on in 2024... it feels like it was ages ago. i barely remember most of it anymore, probably bc of the heartbreak and trauma. i'm a changed person in january 2025)

rest of the months under the cut bc i ramble!

FEBRUARY: valentine's day vice versa rewatch [x]

my best decision for last year was to rewatch both my school president and vice versa during the time before valentine's day. it healed me, held me gently, filled me with love and warmth. am happy that the set i made after that to show love, once again, for the romance show and soulmates couple of all time was both my most popular and personal fave ♥ i love how the set turned out and how the colors work in this. i will forever be thankful to vice versa for its colors and overall brilliance.

this was my number 8 post on my tumblr top ten.

MARCH: 23.5 episode 3 [x]

it's a close call between several of my 23.5 episode edits but this happens to be the most popular one during this month. i never finished 23.5 which somehow saddens me, but towards the end, i just lost interest, and so this edit series was also left unfinished. i liked the concept tho and loved playing with the colors each week!

tribute to mork methas [x]

personal favorite cannot be any other edit than this bc i put all my heart into creating it. i am still so angry about what last twilight did to mork as a character; how all his trauma and pain was pushed aside, how the story never gave him the space and time he needed, how on top of all else they managed to butcher this amazing man. i don't even want to look at him in episode 12 bc i cannot recognize mork there. he is no that person, at least not to me. mork my beloved, i wish the writers didn't hate you so much </3

(btw i have this whole explanation/essay written under this post in my drafts. it's mostly me sharing in detail the thought process behind me making this edit and going through the several elements in it. if anyone is curious, i can post it, just holler haha)

APRIL: us / thamepo pilot crossover [x] [x]

the most popular edit for this month deserves to be the edit i made for the us pilot that was revealed during gmmtv 2024 part 2. i am still very excited to see the show itself and follow their filming journey occasionally on twt. i am just soooo ready to break my heart over the tragic lesbians woven together with strings of comfort, self-discovery, and heart ache.

this was my number 2 post on my tumblr top ten.

i picked the thamepo sister set as my personal fave bc i cannot separate these two. it was fun to connect them together and switch around the dialogues we hear in these pilots bc they just worked. they had very similar vibes and both talked about somewhat forbidden love. no wonder am currently so into thamepo (i hope it stays that way, am done with all the disappointment i've experienced with shows lately).

this was my number 4 post on my tumblr top ten.

MAY: 23.5 episode 9 [x]

the most popular set of the month. not much else to comment. i love the shot of ciize in this one, she's so cute :(

puentalay k-i-s-s-i-n-g [x]

my favorite for this month! a very impulsive edit that happened solely bc this ear worm of a song (that puen would def listen to) wouldn't leave me alone. it's silly, it's fun, it's cute, it's sexy, it's passionate. it's everything i could ask for! i honestly had a ton of fun with this edit despite having to edit a bazillion (26) separate images for this. the fact that those images are mostly of puentalay kisses makes it worth it.

JUNE: we are episode 12 [x] / 11 [x]

during summer, i was deep in my we are era. i honestly loved each set i made for the series bc for the longest time, i've wanted to make sets like this. i had my struggles with some of them but they all worked out in the end! episode 12 was the most popular one and episode 11 is just my personal favorite bc i love the purple + hints of yellow/golden -combo.

JULY: we are final episode [x]

to honor this show and all its relationships, from romantic to platonic, i decided on a rainbow set. it worked super well and i am happy it was so popular ^^ i miss this whole bunch and the amazing summer we had together. (sorry about the quality of this screenshot, the set is too long to fit it on my screen hhh)

this was my number 10 post on my tumblr top ten.

morkday + pvris songs [x]

probably my favorite set i've made this year overall. my whole year was defined by pvris's music (my spotify top artist) and it felt appropriate to link it together with morkday (and puentalay). i love the layout of this set, the colors, the noise. getting into the lyrics and choosing fitting parts for each image was the best part. my favorite image in the set is the last one that i started from while creating this set. i love the background image for that so much. another one i like is the green one for anywhere but here, bc of the image itself but also bc of the song and its message.

AUGUST: we are couples [x]

due to traveling around a lot in august and being exhausted from that, i didn't create much. but i am extremely happy with this set that is both the most popular and my personal favorite! everything about this one just worked out. i feel like it really summarizes all of these couples and shows their different sides.

as a fun fact, i have to say that i never put too much thought into choosing the animals for each couple, other than picking the bird for chainpun (for obvious reasons). cat for phumpeem came through peem more than phum who is very dog coded to me. instead, dog (or wolf?) ended up with tanfang bc of tan's puppy-like nature. qtoey getting the bunny feels like a stroke of genius given to me during the making of this set bc looking at it now, it's perfect. they have that sweetness and energy in them i connect with rabbits.

SEPTEMBER: sanvee + moon phases [x]

ok i might have lied in the july part bc this might be my overall favorite edit i made in 2024. creating it was a battle tho, and i felt like screaming for the best part of the process bc nothing felt like it was working out and i had a ton of problems while figuring out the aesthetic and the typo and the texts. but it all came together better than i ever expected and i just love this set now. i was happy to see ppl liked this too, so this is the most popular edit of this month.

(oab)plawan + hurt by sleeping at last [x]

it's hard to pick a favorite for this month – despite the sanvee edit already being my obvious FavoriteTM – bc i also love my set for miss mhon (day's mother) [x] that let me went my frustration towards her and my puen x phum parallels set [x] that makes me feel wrong in the head. but i loved this love doesn't have long beans a crazy amount compared to how short and silly that show was. there's just something about oab and plawan - about sailub and pon. they dragged me deep into places with this show and this edit is my ode to that. it was fun to make in its simplicity, i love the colors in it, and pon as plawan is just too pretty (especially when he cries).

OCTOBER: pluto episode 1 [x]

considering how popular pluto has been and how desperate we all are for gls, am not surprised this set is the most popular one for this month. tbh all my pluto edits have been doing quite well in my standards. i love making these so am just happy you guys like looking at them ♥

pit babe pairs + cartomancy [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6]

never thought 2024 had a sudden pit babe obsession in its sleeve for me but i decided to embrace it. they've talked that the second season would start airing in april, after boys' journey s2 has ended most likely, and i am so very normal about all thi. i've fallen in love with all these boys, both the characters (more than i already was) and the actors, and this edit series only made everything worse. i haven't spent this much time researching things for an edit in a while and i just loved all the analysis i got to do. the process had its ups and downs but overall, i have to say i had a blast.

(picture chosen purely bc i vibed with this kim picture today, tho the kentakim edit might also be my favorite in the set bc the yellow is so good)

NOVEMBER: pluto episode 4 [x]

absolutely deserves to be the most popular set of this month! it's also my personal favorite out of all the edits i've made for pluto. the colors for this one just worked super well and the scenes are perfect, too. let's see how the series ends in two days, i hope i manage to find some fitting colors for the last episode, too :'D

this was my number 6 post on my tumblr top ten.

DECEMBER: yuanyi + you can love him, but you can't keep him [x]

the most popular set and also my favorite of this month, all bc i've gone down the rabbit hole with fangs of fortune. i spent an embarrassing amount of time making this set with all its details; starting from screenshotting the whole damn show and then picking the pictures for this edit from the over 400 images i got, to drawing the golden lines by myself on my drawing tablet so i got them just like i wanted. i shall be making so many more edits for this show, be warned.

this was my number 7 post on my tumblr top ten.

top 10 posts of 2024 then are:

morkday + hands (381 notes)

us pilot (295 notes)

last twilight episode 11 (285 notes)

thamepo pilot (283 notes)

jimmysea for starry magazine (271 notes)

pluto episode 4 (252 notes)

yuanyi + you can love him (231 notes)

vice versa rewatch 2024 (222 notes)

last twilight episode 10 (211 notes)

we are final episode (207 notes)

(you can check your top ten posts here)

it was fun to look back into my year in edits like this and see how i've gone through so many phases in 12 months. i cannot even recognize the person i was in around, let's say, last february. or during summer. it's insane how the night changes or however that thing goes.

thank you if you read this far, and if you've liked my creations or left nice tags under them, i thank you even more! it's an honor to be creating to everybody here and i am grateful that others keep enabling me even when i usually create for myself and maybe two other ppl. it is very important to me tho that i get to be part of this amazing community and don't need to just yell into the void by myself ♥

[rom-e-o]

You realize, of course, in their worlds, there are undoubtedly people that will have social media pages dedicated SOLELY to fanning over the Wolves and Sunflares. People dedicating their spare moment to finding and scrounging up EVERY BIT of media to be found featuring the couples and their relationships. Posting pictures of them caught being lovey-dovey at events and captioning them like, "GAG ME NOW. they're too cute!😭". Sharing clips of one of the boys being interviewed with wifey right there next to him, hand-in-hand, looking at him with a besotted smile with comments of, "if she don't look at me like this, I don't want it". Making gifs of them being sultry together. I can see the Tumblr blogs now.

#6

Oh, you KNOW this is true, 10000%.

There are Tumblr pages, Tiktok fancam accounts, the WHOLE shebang.

I feel like the couples find it very amusing to comb through the videos and posts. I think it’s also unbelievable for all four of them to a degree. These are four people that thought they would never find happiness with another person, and now? Two sets of soulmates, and one big thriving family.

And seeing other people ALSO covet that relationship? I think it’s equal parts amusing and healing.

I just imagine a video from a recent public appearance, Bess waves to Wolf after a Moonrock charity performance, and he helps her step off the stage and gives her a bouquet of roses. Of course the footage is dramatically slowed with “YOU SEE ME IN HINDSIGHT, TANGLED UP WITH YOU ALL NIGHT” blasting as the background music for the video.

Others where Wolf is taking her out on his motorcycle, and her hands are … appreciating his chest while they’re at a stop. 😏

Comments be like:

“I can’t even get my date on my bike, and he can do THIS? UNFAIR. But also, teach me your ways.”

“Look at how he smirks before he kisses her - I would literally melt!”🥰

And, of course, the Tumblr gifsets of them.

Connie and Adonis at some gala, and his eyes get caught lingering? And that moment lives on forever in steamy gif form. Something like this:

AND THE COMMENTS. They would be FERALLLL.

“GET A ROOM.”

“STOOOP why are this like this???” 😭💕

[konako]

an alternate universe of an alternate universe? what the fuck is going on in the rlh, bless you and screw canon material ;)

WHAT THE FUCK IS WDC:BB? (it's complicated)

Hohooh, this will be fun. Let me try to explain how this happened in the simplest of ways, without being put in virtual jail. As it's truly this:

It all started back in 2021. When we were still young, naive and pure....

The Ruby Lucas Appreciation life was seeing a resurgence thanks to some maniacs out there somewhere. Gifsets were flowing, asks were coming in, ideas were brewing.

The domino pieces were being placed...

Anon sends me a message about a trope they like. I agree. I imagine Red Queen in that trope. Kat (@lovecanbesostrange) sees the vision.

A writing demon takes over Kat's body. She writes a fic.

Safe Cage is born.

Unrelated to that (somehow)

Anon sends me a message to share a fun fact about a college football team with an interesting name. I reply with a silly idea for a story. As you can see in the replies under the post, Kat and I went mad again.

The Ruby Lucas Harem Server is created.

RRCAU is born.

It doesn't stop there...

RRCAU is developed over three years of collaboration and compatible unhinged behaviour. The story grows, we uncover the backstory, the supporting characters, the dynamics, the many different developments... It's a complete story.

But see. Kat has been cursed with a fantastic, fruitful imagination...

We had a habit of taking stories and imagining "What-Ifs" to some scenarios (because we struggle with definite decisions when it comes to plot, and we like to experiment! who doesn't?). It was fun to think of what could have been different and how that change would affect the larger story.

Soon enough, Kat had a thought: What if, instead of changing an event in the later parts of the story, we changed it in the very beginning?

What if Ruby's miserable up-bringing in a trailer park with a passively neglectful mother... was WORSE?

What If: Ruby was raised in troubling poverty by a physically, verbally and mentally abusive, constantly intoxicated mother?

Worse!RRCAU is born.

Still not connected to that (Palpatine has returned)

Anon sends me a message about Regina wanting people to kneel. I reply with a joke about Ruby being eager to kneel, so they work as a couple.

Kat sees that. She adds to that. She chooses violence. And she writes about it.

DRK AU is born.

These three AUs lived together in harmony. (Ruby disagrees. She keeps getting fucked over).

Until a 4am thought attacked.

Narrator: she did think mean things.

We.... thouroughly fucked Red over this time. Meticulously. We thought nothing of it. Torturing Red was routine. It was for fun! A 4am angsty brain fart!

But then the scary thing happened: it started to make sense.

There was no coming back from there. The story took over. We had no power over it. It had power over us.

WDC combined the three big stories that contributed the least with the rent in our heads:

Worse (Worse!RRCAU) brought the world without magic and the usual translations that came with it. Along with the setting, it brought the feeling of Red's early life and how it shaped her to be accostumed to abuse. Dark (DRK AU) brought the torture, the body mods, the calculated disfiguration of Red and the need for a domestic life that would attempt to heal it. Cage (Safe Cage) brought the most important: Corrupted Red Snow. Red as Snow's weapon. The manipulation, the abuse, the years and years of conditioning, lying, training, until Red was no longer a person, but a monster to serve Snow's needs. Originally, it also brought Regina, as the opposition to Snow's force, and the person that stepped in at the right time to rescue Red.

It was clear. It was obvious. It was meant to exist.

Art was made.

And something that's important to note: in WDC, Red is kind of the bad guy. She's Snow's Bodyguard, Guard Dog, Pet. She has no agency, and she does whatever Snow orders her to do.

Including severely hurting Belle.

The way that Red hurt Belle is critical to WDC. (Don't worry, I won't go there). It's a major part of Red's story, and a defining moment in Belle's development. The trauma was even responsible for the unearthing of a new ship: Kansas Beauty. A relationship that began in, of all places, a mental health facility.

It was a fascinating story. A vessel to some dark, dark thoughts. It was to be kept in a secret alley, to never see the light of day (much like WDC!RED—). I failed at that one job, but... whatever. Anyway!!

We explored other stories, parallel to that. We have the range. (While confined to the Red Snow spectrum...) We thought of different things...

Then. Kat thought more thoughts.

And I indulged her with a list of possibilities to fit that desire. Among which there was:

Kat had even more thoughts.

This change took us to a similar place, with a similar brain wave. (It happens often)

And.... yeah..... This had some... unforseen consequences.....

↓

This is where we are.

[antiadvil]

what are some phancoded songs?

okay i have been sitting on this for a while bc i feel like all of my suggestions are basic but i've been emboldened by the recent phan song posting. a lot of the songs on my phlaylist i added because i associate them with wad/ii/etc but here are the ones i can actually lyrically defend:

the tortured poet's department (taylor swift): look. this song is way more toxic than i usually like to imagine dan and phil. but some lyrics are just SO. look.

But you're in self-sabotage mode Throwing spikes down on the road But I've seen this episode and still loved the show

imagine: it is 2010. dan is saying he doesn't know if he and phil should move in together because phil makes him too happy and complacent in life. self sabotage mode!! throwing spikes down on the road!!

Who else decodes you? And who's gonna hold you like me? And who's gonna know you, if not me?

like. when you just click with someone. and you're like: this is it for me. if they leave me i will never love or be loved again. one of the things i like about this song is just how intense it is- i think it captures the intensity of their relationship (especially their early relationship) or at least, the intensity i feel about their relationship lmao

I chose this cyclone with you

this is probably my favorite lyric on the song and i think it's something many mentally ill people want to hear from our partners: you're an intense, dramatic mess, but you're my intense, dramatic mess, and i love you.

they don't know about us (one direction): okay this one is a little more self explanatory and like, thank god, because if i go to that level of depth on every song i'm going to be here all night.

They don't know about the things we do They don't know about the I love you's But I bet you, if they only knew (They don't know) They would just be jealous of us They don't know about the up all nights They don't know I've waited all my life Just to find a love that feels this right (They don't know) Baby, they don't know about, they don't know about us

like. you get it right? it's just. it's just them

that's so us (allie x): this one is sooo basic but i just had to put it. "we've been a wreck together since 2009." <3333333333

danny don't you know (ninja sex party) just has some really crazy parallels lmao, i saw someone use its lyrics once for a gifset and i was never able to unsee it:

Hey little Danny, don’t you cry I am you from much later in your life I know your hair is wild, I know you have no style

Danny, don’t you know that you are cool as fuck on the inside? You’re just going through an awkward phase from 12 to 29

Now you’re on tour and they want more! You step on stage and they come alive No one cares that you’re 35 You’re a rock star on a centaur! Where'd he get a centaur? You’re still a nerdy kid inside But now you’ve finally found your tribe Hear the crowd roar! Give ‘em what they came for!

like!!! they even got the hair!!! (dan has always had a sense of style though i think. not always a good one. but he had one)

sinners (lauren aquilina): this song just reminds me a lot of how dan talks about his internalized homophobia (and of my own experiences with that).

And judgement taught us that our hearts were wrong

The rules say our emotions don't comply But we'll defy the rules until we die

The world may disapprove But my world is only you

You showed me feelings I've never felt before We're making enemies, knocking on the devil's door And how can you expect me not to eat When the forbidden fruit tastes so sweet?

yeah this is like half the song. deal with it. like. i think there can be something very healing about entering into a queer relationship with someone who makes you feel loved and safe after years of being told that was wrong. "how can you expect me not to eat / when the forbidden fruit tastes so sweet?" when i was young i had a very powerful sort of reverse conversion experience, where i had been struggling to make sense of catholic teachings on homosexuality because like... it just didn't seem that bad. but everyone around me was saying it was. parents, teachers, family friends. and i was like, 14, and at that age, you kind of assume that adults do know more than you. they wouldn't all be against this if there was no reason, right? and then i fell in love with a girl and i was just like. wow. okay. these people are just wrong?? because this feels so good and normal and right?? like. yeah. the forbidden fruit tastes good. and is good for you, actually.

the alchemy (taylor swift) is just like, a power couple song. i don't know that any lyrics are super specifically phan coded (phoded if you will) like i just hear anything about love and go "oh my god that's so dan and phil coded." but:

Call the amateurs and cut 'em from the team Ditch the clowns, get the crown Baby, I'm the one to beat

These blokes warm the benches We've been on a winning streak

like! they are THE youtube couple sorry everyone else is just trying to be as cool as them.

'Cause the sign on your heart Said it's still reserved for me

gay

Where's the trophy? He just comes runnin' over to me

boncas anyone????

okay this is like so long and i have so many chores to do so i'll cut it here but not without adding still into you (paramore). self explanatory

[uhbasicallyjustmilex]

happy new year everyone!! 🌟✨ it's been almost exactly a year since i first tentatively poked my head into this little space here on tumblr, and being part of the wonderful am/miles/tlsp community here with you all has truly been one of the highlights of my 2023 💗

as i'm sure is the case for most of us, it's been a year of ups and downs for me. i've been lucky enough to experience some amazing things (living in a new city, reconnecting with my creativity, getting my dream job, discovering music that speaks to my soul, making new friends, reading some amazing books) and human enough to experience some less incredible things (chronic pain, family difficulties, discovering my dream job is not in fact my dream job, getting long covid, the ever uphill battle of healing from trauma). through it all, this space has been a continued solace and source of joy, where i've met some truly special people and felt part of a little community where i get to have fun and flail and just be me. i can't even begin to express how grateful i am to be part of a space like this, or how grateful i am to everyone here who makes it what it is ✨

i also just wanted to say a quick thank you to everyone who has supported me with my writing over this past year, whether that's through kudos or comments or messages or amazing cheerleading/editing help. one of the absolute gifts of discovering this fandom has been the writing fic side of it. maybe it sounds silly, but writing four walls has genuinely been one of the highlights and biggest achievements of my year. writing has always been something incredibly close to my heart, but my degree left me totally sapped of inspiration and confidence, and i'd been struggling for a while to climb out of that after graduating. something about alex and miles just instantly sparked off inspiration in me that i hadn't felt for a long time, and getting to write about them over the past year has reminded me of the sheer joy of creating and the magic of getting to share that with people ✨

it's something that's finally given me the confidence to pick up my own original writing again too, and i couldn't be more grateful to alex and his wonderful lyrics (particularly the entirety of humbug) and to everyone who's supported my fic ventures for helping me reconnect to and explore my creativity. it's the best feeling in the world to finally feel like i'm coming home to that part of myself and carving out a proper space for it in my life 💗

2023 was far from perfect, but it was filled with so many brilliant moments of illumination and i feel i am leaving it with a deeper sense of myself and my path moving forward. i know it's going to be a rocky one at times, but i am excited for what 2024 holds in store for me - and i can't wait to continue flailing with you all over all things milex and to enjoy all the amazing fics/gifsets/posts/art to come!

wishing all of you a year ahead full of wonderful moments and new experiences and fulfilment 💫✨ i really am more grateful than i'll ever be able to adequately express for this space here, and to all the amazing people i've been lucky enough to get to know through it. here's to an amazing 2024 for all of us 💗💞🩷💓💖💕💝

(the photos above are just a random little collection of ones over the past year that i particularly associate with the various things i've talked about in this post)

[angst-is-love-angst-is-life]

thank you so much for your tags, they always make my day ❤️

honestly, i can easily imagine Zoom stopping several times on the way to beat Barry up, probably even taunt him and remind him the last time something similar happened and how Barry still hasn't gotten closer to being able to beat him and so on. i mean, Barry does heal fast so it wouldn't be weird that he woke up in the cage with not so many bruises or anything, doesn't mean he didn't have them at some point i guess?

I’m happy you enjoy them!!

OOOOOOOO YES! I’d never considered that but it would’ve been a nice parallel to Enter Zoom.

And since Cisco was in that gifset it got me thinking— Within the taunts, Zoom can also tell Barry that he’ll kill Cisco once he finds him and Harry, and that Cisco won’t be able to save him this time (since Cisco ofc saved him in 2x06).

[scoobydoodean]

do you think Dean has survivor's guilt? I'm thinking mostly of 01×12, but I'm also wondering if there's a running theme there that I don't remember

Yes, I do. In fact, I think Dean blaming himself for the outcome of traumatic experiences he couldn't have changed or that aren't his fault is something that happens very frequently, because Dean has a very overactive sense of responsibility—primarily resulting from his parentification (and the people in his life don't always help—sometimes they do, but they also sometimes feed into it).

1.12 "Faith" sets the stage for the entire theme. Dean struggles to deal with Layla not being healed when he is, and how horrible it is that a man died in exchange for his life. At the end of the episode, Dean stops running from the reaper, planning to let it kill him so Layla can be healed, but it doesn't happen because Sam disrupts the ritual before Sue Ann can complete it. (Kya has a great gifset here). What tends to co-occur with Dean struggling with survivor's guilt is the idea that Dean has a job—a responsibility, even—to the rest of the world. This is both why he must survive, and also something that weighs him down with even more guilt in a vicious cycle.

DEAN Why? Why me? Out of all the sick people, why save me? ROY Well, like I said before, the Lord guides me. I looked into your heart, and you just stood out from all the rest. DEAN What did you see in my heart? ROY A young man with an important purpose. A job to do. And it isn't finished.

I've written about Dean's survivor's guilt in the context of season 2—how 1.12 and John's sacrifice in 2.01 are primary motivations for Dean making the demon deal in 2.22. We get dialogue from Dean in 2.04 actually apologizing to Sam for John's death, because he blames himself even though it wasn't his fault and none of this was his choice.

He also blames himself for Sam's death in 2.22, even though that also isn't his fault. The parentification aspect of all of this is screaming loud in the following dialogue from Dean in 2.22:

You know, when we were little— and you couldn't been more than 5— you just started asking questions. How come we didn't have a mom? Why do we always have to move around? Where'd Dad go when he'd take off for days at a time? I remember I begged you, "Quit asking, Sammy. Man, you don't want to know." I just wanted you to be a kid... Just for a little while longer. I always tried to protect you... Keep you safe... Dad didn't even have to tell me. It was just always my responsibility, you know? It's like I had one job... I had one job... And I screwed it up. I blew it. And for that, I'm sorry. I guess that's what I do. I let down the people I love. I let Dad down. And now I guess I'm just supposed to let you down, too. How can I? How am I supposed to live with that?

Dean even as a child felt responsible for Sam, and even for John. We see John blame Dean for his own failures as a father in episodes like 1.18 "Something Wicked" and 1.21 "Salvation", and we see the impact of that tendency reflected in how Sam sometimes treats Dean as well. Hell—we have indication that even before Mary died, Dean was "cleaning up [John's] messes" according to Sam (5.16). We see John apologize for Dean having to take care of him in 2.01 instead of the other way around—an acknowledgement that he knows this has been a source of harm to Dean for a long time... but it's too little too late—and ultimately is ruined by John's next actions, leaving Dean seething with resentment toward John for seasons to come even as he grieves and blames himself for John's death.

Dean's guilt for things that aren't his fault is further explored in episodes like 1.18 "Something Wicked", 5.11 "Sam, Interrupted" and 7.04 "Defending Your Life", where Dean is confronted by his guilt over Jo's death, and feeling responsible for Sam being a hunter, which is absolute horse shit despite the fandom also trying to insist this is the case frequently (see my tags #sam the hunter for a start). He blames himself for Kevin even getting involved with hunting to begin with. Dean blames himself for the havoc Michael is wreaking (14.03, 14.06, 14.14). Dean also blames himself and feels horrible guilt for torturing souls in hell, despite the fact that this happened under extreme duress and literal decades of torture and psychological conditioning—i.e., Dean had no actual choice—he's just presented with the horror of being made to feel that it was his choice when it was deeply and torturously coerced. The very worst part of Hell for him was that he tortured other souls, and I don't think he ever recovers from the guilt of that. He clams up about it after being called weak and pathetic for being guilty about it and then he never speaks about it ever again.

Dean certainly isn't the only one with these issues. Sam, Dean, and Bobby's survivors guilt is all explored simultaneously in 4.02 "Are You There God? It's Me, Dean Winchester" when people they couldn't save like Meg Masters and Victor are brought back by a curse.

DEAN It's my fault you're dead. I left you [Victor] behind. And the minute I heard about that explosion, I thought, "I should have known." I should have protected you.

This whole episode implicates hunters as a whole with serious survivor's guilt for the people they can't/don't manage to save. Multiple hunters die in the beginning of the episode, killed by the people they're haunted by not saving. This is a natural and understandable result of the work itself. You just barely don't get to someone in time, or you make a choice with an outcome you didn't forsee at the time, or you weren't fast enough or strong enough, or you dodged left when you should have dodged right, or you should have stayed, or you "let" the monster get away and it killed again. You are in a line of work where you are probably always left thinking, "If only I had done [insert hindsight judgement here]". Bobby blames himself for the deaths of two kids in 4.02. He blames himself for his wife Karen's death (3.10). Sam blames himself for Ava (2.11) and they all accept blame for the Devil's Gate even though that wasn't their fault either (and other hunters throw the blame on all of them too) (3.01).

The thing about being a parentified child is that you are, by definition, held responsible for things you are not equipped or qualified to handle—things that are too much for you, that are not actually your responsibility, and that are/were entirely out of your control. Combine growing up being blamed for things you did not actually have the power or authority to make happen or prevent from happening, with the overall tendency within the line of work hunters are in to feel survivor's guilt, and you get Dean. Add in that Dean cares deeply for other people—even strangers—and therefore feels an extra empathy when people are harmed for these things he thinks he could have prevented. You get someone whose moments of suicidal ideation are usually deeply connected to survivor's guilt or guilt more generally.

[sophsun1]

hi soph!! just wanted to say i hope you're doing okay after everything <3 thank you for still making so many gorgeous gifsets from that episode, i loved every single one of them!!

hey abigail!

awww, you're very welcome, i'm glad you're enjoying them and i hope they are maybe helping everyone heal a little somehow in their own way 💛

it took me two days just to be able to even look at a gif of them without bursting into tears never mind making one so i guess i'm feeling slightly less depressed about it all, though i'm sure i'll swing wildly back and forth the other way at some point lol.

i'm hoping to make a few more sets to celebrate what we got and going forward whatever happens with this fandom, whether everyone goes their separate ways and moves on to something else, it's been a joy to be a part of it all for however long we got them.

p.s 🕯 never stop manifesting tommy kinard's return 🕯

[danandfuckingjonlmao]

i am so thankful for fandom.

i am so thankful for the gifsets, the fanfic, the fanart, the memes, the overanalysis of every little aspect of a piece of media, the group chats, the private spamming in dms, the openness towards making our own representation, the queer and neurodivergent safety that is created, the lack of shaming for intense emotional reactions or for being obsessive, the community aspect and discussion, etc.

and i am especially thankful for the validation, the closure, the healing, the solidarity, and the connection that fan spaces can provide. i’m thankful that i can have so much content for all of my interests, that i can feel that fulfilment of my deep desire to enjoy the things i love fully. i’m thankful that after i finish a show, a book, a movie, anything, and i’m genuinely upset, in tears, or maybe even having a trauma response (ex. media with mental illness or grief themes), i can come here and laugh. if i’m angry, if i’m ecstatic, if i’m unsatisfied, if i’m so anxious i don’t know what to do after i finish something, i can come here and know i’m not alone.

fandom is NOT all good. the discourse, the gatekeeping, the lack of boundaries when real life people are involved, and yeah, a lot of it enables unhealthy relationships with media. so many obsessions i’ve had have been toxic (*cough* supernatural *cough*), and being a part of fandoms didn’t exactly help me get out of that. however that can coexist with the fact that having other people as passionate as i was made me feel so much less alone and to this day gives me a safe space to release what is in my mind.

basically, thank you. if you’re on this hellsite, if you’re a creator within fandoms, a commenter, or just a lurker contributing with likes, you contribute to people like me feeling less alone, and i’m really glad you exist.

[twoidiotwriters1]

The Curse of Oenone (Leo Valdez xFem!Oc)

A/N: Yes I'm still using the gifset shut up -Danny Words: 2,811 Series' Masterlist Previous Chapter // Next Chapter Listen to: ''Til Kingdom Come' -by Coldplay

LIX: I Wanna Go Home

"What are we looking at?"

"Ah, Señor Zhang, you know how you're always saying, 'Leo, you are the only true genius among demigods'?"

"I'm pretty sure I never said that."

"Well, turns out there are other true geniuses! Because one of them must have made that work of art down there."

When the eery-looking boy taps away in the Archimedes sphere, all Ara sees is her favorite person on Earth, and the closer they get to fighting Gaea, the more Ara wastes her time staring at him.

"It's a stone circle," Frank raises a brow. "Probably the foundation of an old shrine."

"No, it's more than that," Piper studies it carefully. "Look at the ridges and grooves carved around the rim."

"Like the teeth of a gear," Jason points out.

"And those concentric rings." Hazel adds. "The pattern reminds me of Pasiphaë's pendant: the symbol of the Labyrinth."

"Huh." Leo frowns. "Well, I hadn't thought of that. But think mechanical. Frank, Hazel... where did we see concentric circles like that before?"

"The laboratory under Rome—"

"The Archimedes lock on the door," Hazel nods. "It had rings within rings."

"You're telling me that's a massive stone lock? It's, like, fifty feet in diameter." Percy scoffs in disbelief.

"Leo might be right," Annabeth shrugs. "In ancient times, the temple of Asclepius was like the General Hospital of Greece. Everybody came here for the best healing. Aboveground, it was the size of a major city, but supposedly the real action happened belowground. That's where the high priests had their intensive-care super-magical-type compound, accessed by a secret passage."

"So, if that big round thing is the lock, how do we get the key?" Percy asks.

"Way ahead of you, Aquaman."

"Okay, do not call me Aquaman. That's even worse than water boy."

"You gotta give me something, man, you don't let me call you Nemo!"

"My name is Percy."

"Boys, focus," Ara presses.

Leo shifts his attention to Jason, Piper, and her. "You guys remember the giant Archimedes grabber arm I told you I was building?"

"I thought you were kidding," Jason frowns.

"Oh, my friend, I never kid about giant grabber arms!" Leo rubs his palms excitedly. "It's time to go fishing for prizes!"

While Leo and Jason open the entry to the secret palace, Piper pulls her away from the group. For a moment, Ara feels a wild desperation, because she isn't ready to say goodbye and others can see it.

"You okay? I'm getting big waves of 'Help me!' from you, and I was standing pretty far away."

Ara watches how Leo works from a distance. "He treats machines in a kind, gentle way—they need care as much as us... He'll be sorely missed in camp."

Piper tries to get a real answer. "Ara, what's the matter?"

"Take a wild guess," she turns to her with frustration. "Jason is at risk of dying too. How do you feel about that?"

"I don't need to think of Jason to understand it," Piper responds dejectedly. "I'm scared for Leo too—even if he pretends to be okay, he's dreading it as much as us... I can try and make him reconsider."

Ara gives her a dry smile. "And what about me? Are you going to try and charmspeak me too?"

Piper looks like she might cry, but her face sets determinately. "If that's what my General orders me to do."

"This is my order, McLean," Ara squares her shoulders. "We can't fail, so make sure we stick to the plan."

Piper hugs her. "Ara..."

"It's opening!" Leo calls to them. "Piper, Ara, get ready!"

"Idiot mode," Ara kills the flames on her shoulder, groaning as they walk through the empty corridor. "I would've never thought of that."

"I do the absurd thinking for you," Leo winks, looking just as beaten. "I don't know why Hazel was so worried, it was easy."

"Yeah, right," Jason scowls at his ruined T-shirt. 

"At least now we're seeing a doctor," Piper says. "He can fix us up."

"If he's a nice doctor—but maybe he's the father of apathetic medics," Ara jokes.

"Sometimes I wish you used your inner voice," Jason grumbles.

Piper knocks on the door gently. "Dr Asclepius?"

The guy behind the desk reminds Ara so much of her father—Paul, not the other idiot—that it softens her. He's got the hair, and smiles in the same playful yet calming manner her dad does, Ara almost expects him to start talking to Leo in Spanish.

"Hello!"

"Doctor." Piper smiles. "We'd be so grateful for your help. We need the physician's cure." Six months ago the girl had to lean on Ara to get her charmspeak working, now she's pouring it out of her effortlessly. 

Asclepius presses a hand to his chest. "Oh, my dear, I would be delighted to help."

"You would?" Piper pulls herself out of the shock promptly. "I mean, of course you would!"

"Come in! Come in!"

The tug of nostalgia grows stronger when they enter his office: it reminds her of the infirmary in the camp. It's crazy, she's been away for only two months, but it comes down on her just now, as she's reaching the end of her trip—being so close yet so far from home is pure torture.

"Please, sit!" There are only two chairs, so Leo and Ara remain standing behind Jason and Piper. "So, I can't tell you how nice it is to actually talk with patients. The last few thousand years, the paperwork has got out of control. Rush, rush, rush. Fill in forms. Deal with red tape. Not to mention the giant alabaster guardian who kills everyone in the waiting room. It takes all the fun out of medicine!"

"Yeah, Hygeia is kind of a downer," Leo replies.

"My real daughter Hygeia isn't like that, I assure you," Asclepius chuckles. "She's quite nice. At any rate, you did well reprogramming the statue. You have a surgeon's hands."

"Leo with a scalpel?" Jason gets goosebumps. "Don't encourage him."

The doctor laughs openly. "Now, what seems to be the trouble?" He scans Jason. "Hmm... Imperial gold sword wound, but that's healed nicely. No cancer, no heart problems. Watch that mole on your left foot, but I'm sure it's benign."

Jason's eyes widen. "How did you—"

"Oh, of course! You're a bit short-sighted! Simple fix." He draws out a case and scribbles something on a notepad before handing it to the boy. "Keep the prescription for future reference, but these lenses should work. Try them on."

"Wait," Leo smirks. "Jason is short-sighted?"

"I—I have had a little trouble seeing stuff from a distance lately, I thought I was just tired." He puts on the glasses and blinks a few times. "Wow. Yeah. That's better."

"You look very distinguished," Piper smiles.

"Your transformation to nerd has been completed," Ara pipes in.

Leo snickers. "I'd go for contacts—glowing orange ones with cat's-eye pupils. Those would be cool."

"Glasses are fine," Jason glares at them. "Thanks, uh, Dr Asclepius, but that's not why we came."

"No? Well, let's see then..." He turns to Piper. "You seem fine, my dear. Broken arm when you were six. Fell off a horse?"

"How could you possibly know that?" Piper breathes in awe.

"Vegetarian diet—No problem, just make sure you're getting enough iron and protein. Hmm... a little weak in the left shoulder. I assume you got hit with something heavy about a month ago?"

"A sandbag in Rome. That's amazing."

"Alternate ice and a hot pack if it bothers you," Asclepius looks up at the person behind her, which happens to be Ara. His smile falters like he's reading something nonsensical. "Who are you?"

"Arae Jackson..." she voices reluctantly.

"The daughter of Olympus! That explains it," the doctor chuckles but still looks slightly tense. "You'll be fine."

"Cool," Ara tries to push her sarcasm to its lowest level. "That'll help me sleep at night."

"You sleep? Even better!" The doctor moves to Leo. "And you... Oh, my—Oh, I see..." The god's happy demeanor deflates as if there's nothing left to do.

"What?" Jason demands. "What's wrong with Leo?"

"Hey, doc," Leo clears his throat. "We came for the physician's cure. Can you help us? I've got some Pylosian mint here and a very nice yellow daisy..."

"Hold it," Piper interrupts. "Is there something wrong with Leo? Because he's planning to do something crazy, and if that won't help him—"

"Seriously, guys," Leo presses. "I'm fine, except for the fact that Gaia's destroying the world tomorrow, so I'm a bit bummed out about it. Let's focus."

"So this daisy was picked by my father, Apollo?" Asclepius continues. Ara has to admire his determination to maintain Leo's dignity.

"Yep—He sends hugs and kisses."

"I do hope Dad comes through this war all right," he glances at Ara. "You should too. Now, the only missing ingredient is the heartbeat of the chained god."

"I have it," Piper says. "At least... I can summon the makhai."

"Excellent. Just a moment, dear—Spike, are you ready?" The doctor asks to his staff.

Leo can't help snorting. "Your snake's name is Spike?" The python spreads its deathly-looking crown with a hiss. "My bad," he squeaks. "Of course your name is Spike."

"He's a little grumpy," Asclepius explains. "People are always confusing my staff with the staff of Hermes, which has two snakes, obviously. Over the centuries, people have called Hermes's staff the symbol of medicine, when of course it should be my staff. Spike feels slighted. George and Martha get all the attention."

"Unacceptable," Ara retorts plainly.

"Pylosian mint—certainty of death," the god lists the ingredients on his desk. "The curse of Delos—anchoring that which cannot be anchored. Now the final ingredient: the heartbeat of the chained god—chaos, violence and fear of mortality—My dear, you may release the makhai."

Wind surrounds Piper before it slides across the desk, carrying screams with it, and landing directly into Spike's mouth. The python then swallows the rest of the ingredients.

"Won't the poison hurt him?" Jason asks with curiosity.

"No, no," Asclepius brushes it off. "Wait and see."

Spike regurgitates a glass tube containing a dark reddish liquid that looks like thick blood, it's fragile, thin, and unassumingly small. "Lovely," Ara gulps, feeling sick. "That's it?"

"The physician's cure." Asclepius picks up the vial and blinks in confusion. "Wait... why did I agree to make this?"

"Because we need it to save the world. It's very important. You're the only one who can help us." Piper says, reaching out for it.

"Of course," Asclepius smiles again. "I forgot. But you must be careful. Hades hates it when I raise people from the dead. The last time I gave someone this potion, the Lord of the Underworld complained to Zeus, and I was killed by a lightning bolt. BOOM!"

Ara makes a face. "I know how that feels..."

Leo tilts his head. "You look pretty good for a dead guy."

"Oh, I got better. That was part of the compromise. You see, when Zeus killed me, my father Apollo got very upset. He couldn't take out his anger on Zeus directly; the king of the gods was much too powerful. So Apollo took revenge on the makers of lightning bolts instead. He killed some of the Elder Cyclopes. For that, Zeus punished Apollo... quite severely. Finally, to make peace, Zeus agreed to make me a god of medicine, with the understanding that I wouldn't bring anyone else back to life. And yet here I am... giving you the cure."

"Because you realize how important this is," Piper insists when the god's eyes lose focus. "You're willing to make an exception."

"Yes... At any rate, the potion must be administered as soon as possible after death. It can be injected or poured into the mouth. And there is only enough for one person. Do you understand me?" He looks pointedly at Leo.

"We understand," Piper glances at the boy with concern. "Are you sure you don't want to come with us, Asclepius? Your guardian is out of commission. You'd be really helpful aboard the Argo II."

"The Argo... back when I was a demigod, I sailed on the original ship, you know," he smiles. "Ah, to be a carefree adventurer again!"

"Yeah..." Jason lowers his gaze and pouts. "Carefree."

"But, alas, I cannot. Zeus will already be quite angry with me for helping you. Besides, the guardian will reprogram itself soon. You should leave. Best wishes, demigods. And, if you see my father again, please... give him my regrets."

This is a haven she'll miss, but she must face the world no matter how much it stresses her out—it is what she asked for, after all. Ara doesn't want to leave, but the reason she wants to stay is ridiculous.

"Birdy?" Leo tugs her hand. "Time to go."

The girl clears her throat and nods, turning around quickly. "Gods, I miss my parents."

"So where are you putting that?" Percy asks. "It has to be close to you when you die, so where are you keeping it?"

"Festus," Ara and Leo reply.

"We've been working on something... Leo did, since we started building the ship," Ara glances at the boy, still grumpy about it. "The blueprints never made much sense because they were two machines combined."

Annabeth raises a brow. "You're trusting Festus will work perfectly on its first try?"

"All my machines work on their first try, Chase, don't insult me," Leo scoffs.

No one speaks against it, all they know is they've been talking to Nike and Apollo, and their plan is solid enough to give them a glimmer of hope. That is all they'll get while handling two prophecies at once.

"Okay, then!" Leo claps, bringing them out of their stupor. "Athens tomorrow morning, gang. Be ready to fight some giants."

"Yeah..." Frank heaves a sigh. "I know I'll sleep well."

***

Leo sets the cure in place. "That'll do."

He traces the outline of Festus's open panel with reverence and Ara's heart tightens at the scene. Leo spent months perfecting the ship, and now they'll have to say goodbye to it... It's meant to be, but that doesn't mean it hurts less.

"Stop staring like that," Leo mumbles. "You make me feel like a wounded animal."

Ara looks away. "I know we didn't have a blast here... but I love this spanking hot war machine."

Leo scans the room wistfully. "We had our first kiss here, remember?"

All she can do is nod. Leo stands and hugs her loosely, leaning his head on her shoulder. Ara takes a shaky breath. "Such clumsy and unromantic first kiss—"

"Shut up." Leo scolds her. "You don't get to decide what it was. It's my first kiss. Mine." He shakes his head and steps back slightly. "I've heard all of your stories—even the ones you probably don't want me to know, and they tell me that inside this immaculate Barbie, there is a human girl who doesn't care about perfection. Why do you torture yourself like this?"

"That Ara isn't good enough," she scowls. "I'm better this way."

Leo frowns. "Do you know how much I love you just the way you are?"

"Do you know how long it took me to become the Ara that you know?" She asks back. "Nothing comes naturally, Leo. I don't wake up and simply exist—it's a full-time job..." Her voice dies a little, her words reminding her of what Eros hissed at Nico.

"Love is no game! It is no flowery softness! It is hard work—a quest that never ends. It demands everything from you—especially the truth. Only then does it yield rewards."

Ara's voice quivers. "I know you love me, Leo... I don't think I've done a good job loving you, that's all."

The boy cradles her face so she looks at him. "You warned me of the risks, and I fell in love anyway. You didn't trick me into being here, and I'll never regret it."

"I'm sorry," she sulks. "I focused on being a leader and I pushed our relationship aside, I should've—"

"Look at me," he insists, holding her firmly. "I dare you to say we weren't happy."

Ara tears up. "I thought I had more than enough to get by and then... I met you. I laughed and loved so much—life was beautiful for a moment. I was so lucky."

Leo's hands are shaking, but he manages a crooked smile. "Honestly, I still can't believe my luck either. My girlfriend is the hottest girl to ever live—" He lowers his gaze a moment when his voice breaks, unable to hide his true feelings. "Gods, Ara..." he takes a shaky breath. "I used to be so lonely."

Festus interrupts and Leo responds without looking up. "Yeah, buddy, it's time." The dragon creaks again and the boy chuckles weakly. "Yes, she'll wait for us. Won't you, doll?"

Ara pouts and nods, Leo wipes the tears from her face tenderly. "I've been waiting on you my whole life, and I'd like to say there is no pressure, but..."

Leo smirks. "I love a challenge."

Ara grins through the tears, then glances at the cure in Festus's panel. "So this is really happening, huh?"

"Too late to change plans," the boy nods, also staring at the vial.

"You can sleep in my cabin tonight."

"PUT SOME CLOTHES ON!" Bufford hollers.

They burst out laughing. "Don't worry, son," Leo tells the small table as he closes the access panel. He then holds Ara's hand and pulls her out of the engine room. "We'll save that part for when I get back."

Next Chapter –>

Taglist.

@siriuslysirius1107 @ask-giggles1303 @im-planning-something-look @bandshirts-andbooks @coolninjapaper @thewaterlily @whenisthefall @1randomcomic @you-bloody-shank @sunflowergraves @owlalex44 @taylordaughter @typicalsolangelolover @writingmia @espressopatronum454 @slytherinnqueen @orbitingpolaris @obxstiles @ellipsisspelled @thepixiechicksh @ebony-reine-vibes

[golden28s]

Totally optional, fun Gallavich questions ☀️🌙

thanks for tagging me to the coolest person @callivich 💖

What’s a fic you’ve read more than once? i havent read that many gallavich fanfics since i watched the show in like april BUT im loving Africa and ill probably read it once it's finished

What’s a gifset you always have to reblog? s7 gifsets are really person to me but also maybe s10 and s11 because they reached the peak of softness

What’s a headcanon you can’t stop thinking about? maybe that ian would tell mickey "i told you so" when they become parents and mickey turns out to be an absolute incredible dad that will play, sing, dance anything with his children.

What’s a fanart you love looking at? maybe @gallavichonly @heymrspatel and i accept recommendations btw id love to see more fanart

What’s an idea you’d love to create if you had the time/inspiration? id probably write like a series of one shots based on taylor swift songs

What’s something you’ve discovered since entering this fandom? A new trope you love? A different analysis of the show? Something else? i think that not judging characters, like always be aware of their circumstances and what made them do or say that and that might not justify them but it explains their thought process, it explains why and gives them some sort of humanity to their mistakes idk if this makes sense but yeah that, don't judge a character too soon, try to understand them.

What’s an underrated trope or concept you’d like to see more of? the secret dating, we know they secretly dated and stuff but i feel like it's actually a really fun concept to play with despite their circumstances in the show, it gives you so many possibilities.

What’s your favourite season? And has this changed after multiple rewatches of the show? the early seasons have special place in my heart, so s4-5 and i think gallavich totally saved s7, i love that part of the season

What’s a plot hole you wish had been answered or resolved? i would've loved to see ian healing from the grooming and realizing it was grooming, it would've been nice for the character to heal old wounds and start fresh a new life with mickey in a new neighborhood ready to create new memories

What scene or moment do you feel isn’t discussed enough? the just wondering if we're a couple or not scene, we definitely should discuss more the fact that mickey answered too quickly, he absolutely had been calling ian boyfriend in his head

What line/dialogue/description from something else (a poem, a book, a tv show, a movie, or something else) do you feel describes Ian and Mickey’s relationship? im gonna quote noel fisher and as he said: "Ian's been that kind of guiding angel for Mickey so he's going to have to turn into a pretty much kind of a protective angel for Ian"

What do you think is next for Ian and Mickey post-finale? i think they're gonna learn to communicate even more, they were in really good path already. i think the writers didn't have much faith in them in that aspect but the conversation they have in s11 about going back or not to the new neighborhood made evident that they can communicate, they listen to each other and understand the reasons, each other's feelings. so yeah, i think they're gonna get even better at that and also they're not gonna wait that much to become parents. i think they eventually will find new jobs, ian will have his tomatoes and mickey will adore looking at him doing his thing every sunday morning. i really really think they finally found their peace, their home and are gonna be very very happy and disgustingly in love forever because they're also hopeless romantic and want that so bad.

im gonna tag a few people and as always feel free to do it or not <3 @lupeloto @mikhailoisbaby @mickeysgaymom @redwiccanrobin @lyricailove @energievie @depressedstressedlemonzest @juliakayyy