#make this fucking international
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vaguely-concerned · 3 months ago
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the strength it must have taken for illario to not immediately go full 'lmao since when have you even had a kiss hello lucanis' sibling violence mode during the café talk. inspirational. rook and lucanis really were doing all that right in front of his salad huh
#lucanis is being SO cringe with that line right out there in public and I would die for him. it's just such a weird thing to say#tbf if anyone in the world is used to the insane things lucanis says and would go 'yes yes lucanis waxing poetic about coffee#in ways normal people reserve for trying to get in someone's pants (the roast won't fuck you lucanis)#we've all heard it' like it's all normal I suppose it would be illario. and also he's too busy with the 'shit fuck shit he's not dead#he's not dead of the family members 'supposed' to be dead we're at two definite failures out of two and woe me if the twain should meet#if that IS a demon in there it sure talks exactly in the same bizarre way only my cousin does#does that mean anything what the fuck do I do who do I kill about this' internal monologue I guess#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#illario dellamorte#lucanis dellamorte#rook x lucanis#rookanis#I mean he does very much say that to a non-romancing rook too which only makes it all the more delightfully odd#is it a very lucaniscore way of testing the waters. is it just how he always talks about coffee. many plausible approaches here#no one forced him to bring up kisses and 'you should try it' out of the blue like that is all I'm saying. he could have acted normal#(theoretically)#i feel there are reasons to read some stuff into it lol#lucanis when rye says he prefers tea: it's so over cautious overture I don't quite understand myself yet gently rebuffed#lucanis when rye takes him up on the 'so what should a first kiss be' theme: oh we're so back!!!! wait. what. what do I do now#what is this#it's kind of really sweet that rook answers with their own playfully florid beverage based barely hidden metaphor at the end too#matching freaks and having fun with it#as far as lucanis is concerned rye's only true flaws are 1) prefers tea to coffee (oh well. no one can be perfect. cross-cultural love#can conquer all even in this) and 2) weird taste in interior design (did we really HAVE to bring your 15 foot tall corpse statues#with us home rook. I can understand a tasteful skull here and there but this seems excessive. well if it makes you happy I guess)
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boarloved-art · 3 months ago
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Wei Wuxian should be able to get drunk for once. I think he'd either be singing bawdy drinking songs on the roof of the Jingshi or he'd be getting irrevocably lost no matter where he is. He's found in the bushes behind the mountains like a cryptid, and then he's like "I can't believe you all got lost" (extremely slurred) as if he didn't get embarrassed by something Lan Wangji had said and just somehow disappeared when everyone looked back at him
oh ABSOLUTELY im walking with u and nodding and agreeing, i can see him becoming an absolute menace to keep track of at his drunkest.
anyway heres wonderwall The Gang (Wangxian & their fave group of ducklings) in a city known for its STRONG wine and wuxian being like well. ur all grown now, youre technically not juniors anymore. we have to see whos lasting the longest against this stuff!, smash cut to a suspiciously wei ying-less group of the worlds drunkest cultivators being wrangled through the woods by designated driver hanguang-jun, with at least 2 of them clinging to his robes at all times.
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#i ALSOOOO LOVE the hc that wuxians just. very affectionate when drunk. bc he lowkey is that way in canon#we dont really know if the alcohols affecting him a lot when him n wangji r drinking but he sure is affectionate#but i think thats Stage One of drunk wuxian. like b99 with the 1-drink-amy system#he goes Unaffected -> lovey dovey -> musical -> fucking off into the woods#also THE IMAGES ARE LOADING IN WE DID IT GANG!#mdzs#mo dao zu shi#wangxian#wei wuxian#lan wangji#sketch#doodle#jin ling#lan sizhui#lan jingyi#ouyang zizhen#sizhui came back to life somewhere between the Petname Drop and the ensuing panic he felt the Anxious Dad vibes radiating off wangji#wangji Attempts to question wwx as to why the fuck he RAN AWAY???? when he sobers up and all wwx has to offer to the conversation is#'well to be fair im a fragile man'#as if that explains anything#except post-canon wangxian understand eachother far too well so it does in fact explain everything#wwx when lwj is nice to him: ???husband is unyielding???husband is cruel??? husband wants me dead??? husband wants me to have heart attack?#JAIL for husband! JAIL FOR 1000 YEARS! but first! self imposed exile!#i was gonna make this longer so it made more sense and was actually good but its 00:38 so u see why i dont wanna? anyway#wwx drunk out of his mind on the roof of the jingshi with wen ning: BIG DIRTY STINKIN BASS! DIRTY STINKIN BASS! DIRTY DIRTY STINKIN BASS#lwj who just got back from a solo nighthunt internally: i wasnt aware he COULD get drunk? am i impressed? i think im impressed?#also the stick in his waistband. very much not chenqing. he dropped chenqing at some point and just pciked up a random stick and was like#yuh thatll do#and fun fact it will not in fact do
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ghost-bxrd · 1 year ago
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Prompt:
It’s not that Jason forgot, per se.
But between smuggling a toddler out of the League of Assassins, trekking halfway across the world, and finding a suitable hiding place that’s also child friendly… well, it kind of slipped his mind that he’s supposed to be… dead.
Something that comes back to bite him in the ass when he takes Dami out for some ice cream and just so happens to run into non other than Brucie-fucking-Wayne
#look I’ve found a new fave trope and it’s Brucie Wayne having to keep up his act while internally LOSING HIS SHIT#Jason isn’t very into the whole revenge thing here#his mind is 85 parts ‘keep Dami safe’ 5 parts ‘kill joker asap’ and 10 parts ‘avoid bats at any cost’#Jason doesn’t know who Damian’s father is#dealer’s choice if Jason establishes himself as Dami’s dad or older brother#his build certainly makes him look old enough#if you don’t look at his baby face lol#Jason runs into Brucie and goes straight into survival mode#Damian who is very observant for a toddler immediately clocks Brucie as THREAT based on Jason’s reaction#Brucie blue screens and desperately tries not to lose Jason in the crowd#jason is absolutely trying to lose Brucie in the crowd#while clutching Damian like his life depends on it#for all he knows it does#the visceral terror that your pseudo dad will take away your little brother/baby#Bruce who just wants to know if he’s hallucinating again: W A I T#jason who is terrified of being put in Arkham for killing people: no FUCKING WAY#hm maybe Jason plays the ‘I’m not Jason’ game again#it’s not gonna hold for long#but Bruce absolutely thinks that Damian is Jason’s bio child for a while and he’s on the WARPATH#Jason was sixteen when he died and never showed any interest in dating so literally every red flag is waving in brucie’s mind simultaneousl#or maybe Jason manages to get away and all Brucie is left with is the memory of his supposedly dead son#running away from him#and clutching a tiny kid#prompts#jason todd#batfamily#Damian wayne#batdad#brucie wayne
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edwinisms · 10 months ago
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george rexstrew deserves awards for many things but i have to say. edwin’s bloodcurdling scream as niko gets killed deserves a whole award unto itself. like. that scream did not feel at all like a tv show scream. to a somewhat jarring degree. and i can’t express how much I respect that
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erinwantstowrite · 6 months ago
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got reminded of the spider-man kiss scene and like. it's gonna be SUCH a long time before LoF gets there but !!! i felt insane so i drew it
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lancelotslair · 1 month ago
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wasn t gonna post this cuz it don't make no sense without context n it was like a 15 minute warmup-joke but fucked up and made CB real rea lreal cute lookin
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whats this guy looki nso cutesy pootsy for
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ghost-proofbaby · 9 months ago
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can y'all please come into my humble abode and imagine something with me i don't yet have the wits to write a full fledged fic out of (yet)?
so, everyone knows how when you get a tattoo, part of the healing process is the itchy phase, right? and for obvious reasons, you can't scratch it. favored method, in my experience and fellow tatted friends, is to just give it a good old slap.
perfect. so now, with this in mind, can you imagine having gotten a large hip/ass piece, and how mortifying it would be to smack your own ass to soothe that itch? and it's just plain painful. you want your new ink to heal properly - it's gorgeous and you put a lot of time, pain, and money into that damn thing - but it just sucks.
enter best friend eddie.
he loves your new ink. thinks it's fucking sick. nearly creamed his damn pants when he found out you were doing a hip/ass tatt (because how can he ask to see it without being weird? how can he react to that without being weird when he's spent the last several years with the world's most pathetic crush on you?) at first, it's fine. you show him the tattoo in a totally friendly, totally platonic way. he hypes you up, he calls you 'the most metal person he knows'. flourishes you with all the compliments and looks at you with starry eyes out of sheer awe at the way he's managed to snag a person into his life who is just so. damn. cool.
but the days pass by, that new ink begins to heal, and it fucking itches.
when you first proposition him, you're even more embarrassed than he is. stumbling over all your words, the request coming out contorted every wrong way. you don't want to make things weird, but is it really that weird for a friend to help a friend? it is really that weird to ask your best friend to smack your tattoo to help with that itch you can't even really properly reach?
it's just friends helping friends.
and that's the mantra you both repeat to yourselves - as you request the embarrassing favor of him, as he agrees almost too eagerly, as you find yourself face-planted in your bed wondering how deeply you can bury down your shame as he tries to make jokes to make it all a bit less awkward.
it's just friends helping friends, until eddie's hand lands down on your ass with a resounding smack, and that first little whimper escapes your lips.
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fruifruit · 1 month ago
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normaposting
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quiet-pp · 1 month ago
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Danny, bursting through Vlad's front door on a break home from college: we need to have sex
Vlad, who hasn't seen him in months and is also "saving himself for Maddie": why
Danny: my roommates are always saying shit about how much sex they're having and i wanna know what it's like
Vlad, in a strangled voice: why. me.
Danny: in case any weird ghost stuff comes up
Vlad: you have. friends.
Danny: in case any dangerous weird ghost stuff comes up. also what if something embarrassing happens? c'mon think a little
Vlad:
Vlad: no-
Danny: I'll give you mom's actual phone number this time
Vlad: once. and only once
(it happens more than once)
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foxfeast · 2 months ago
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anyway if we were able to get a book from mu qing’s pov i guarantee his internal monologue would be the exact same as shen yuan’s. likewise everyone in svsss thinks shen yuan is a cold scheming asshole who doesn’t like anyone because they don’t have access to his internal monologue
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generalsdiary · 6 months ago
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drunk alhaitham who yaps about the improvements the sumeru education system should make & kaveh, also drunk, attentively listening- the literal most beautiful man in whole of sumeru, with sparkly red eyes, messy blond hair, and a soft blush across his cheeks, with his full attention on the autistic scribe. flustering alhaitham to the point he stops mid sentence, averting his eyes, "oh fuck."
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thereweredragonshere · 5 days ago
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How to perform self hysterectomy wikihow for beginners no glue no borax
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waitineedaname · 2 months ago
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putting aside being sad about binghe for now, I was looking for the first time sqq directly compares binghe to a maiden, and as far as I can tell, the first time he calls him a maiden is this part:
To push him away during this moment would be like giving a young maiden -- one who'd finally worked up the courage to call and brokenheartedly weep to an older sister for comfort and encouragement -- a face-turning slap. It was really a bit cruel. (Chapter 11 in vol. 2 of the English translation)
this stands out to me because this is shortly after he finally realized binghe is attracted to him, while he's still grappling with the fact that he's "turned binghe gay." it's yet another example of sqq equating being gay with femininity -- he knows binghe is into men now, and thus begins him repeatedly referring to binghe's behavior as that of a maiden's
but the other thing that stands out to me about this quote is that sqq is also making himself a girl in this metaphor. I know the translation is probably lacking here and he's probably using jiejie to mean generic older female friend as opposed to jiejie meaning older sister, but still. shen qingqiu, why are both of you girls in this mental metaphor. hello. shen qingqiu are you aware that making both of you girls does not make it any less gay. shen qingqiu are you listening to me. shen qingqiu yes it's still gay when you're both girls
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hughmanbean · 1 year ago
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The Nurturing Queen and the Greedy Duke
Credit to @sky00asara in this post for this idea I love guys who are moms (if you get what I mean) This will follow the same rough story beats but will still have a little of my own flair.
The Nuturing Queen, Mother of the Wandering Princess and Erratic Prince, has been said to provide protection and inspire devotion to all who come across her. Praised as Balance and Duality personified, she is a large influence and very commonly mentioned in every scroll, book, art piece, and all magic artifacts that Constantine has seen. He's heard from so many beings of how great she is, her feats, and her being the largest connection between the Unknown Realms and Earth.
Here comes the problem. The Nurturing Queen has an enemy who's been around just as long as she has, who's also been seen not long after wherever she goes, chasing her trail and lurking. The Greedy Duke. He wishes to have her as his own, and take the throne to himself, subsequently plunging the Unknown Realms into chaos. Whenever he confronts the Nurturing Queen, legendary battles commence, and he is beat back.
But now, things are going wrong. The Lazurus Pits have been reported as acting, well, erratic. The Erratic Prince, some beings say, has been seen discussing things with the Greedy Duke. They fear his loyalties may not lie with his family.
A shift has been felt in the magics community. Unknown Realms Beings have ventured into Earth, either out of curiosity or to wreak havoc. Now, at the watchtower, JLD work out how to summon a being and demand to know what's going on, the rest of the Justice League desperate.
When they finally do summon one, they're launched into the Unknown Realms as an answer, told to "Find our Queen" as the being dissappears. They're on a floating island in a green void.
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manglam-marfach · 1 year ago
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I have a CRYSTAL CLEAR vision of postcanon chillaios political marriage fic where dozens of suitors are vying for Laios's slightly sticky hand & he is. oblivious. Which almost causes a major diplomatic incident. Someone (Kabru) tries to delicately explain that he should probably take a spouse already and Laios is like. Oh cool. Chilchuck? Wanna get married? And Chilchuck who had resigned to let the weird Thing he had for his old coworker die quietly has to fucking deal with THIS now.
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onlytiktoks · 6 days ago
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