#make sweet potato cake
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going to the grocery store is the most fun a girl can have without staying in her bed drenching in her own loneliness and thinking about what could've been
#heading to buy some veggies. dont know exactly what to make for iftar but i was thinking of making mashed sweet potatoes with grilled#halloumi and sauteed veggies on the side.. yum#ofc a lil simple soup. most likely smthg with mushrooms#+ i have some cake left for dessert:-)
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idk if we can say apex mobile images confirm anything but i KNEW the legends had a holiday potluck. IIIIII knew it . infodump —vvv
#i know what type of shit they’d all bring too. FOR SURE !!#mirage i think obv brings some kind of pork (pork chop. or whatever .#but i also think he’d make a killer pasta salad#and ummm pathfinder duh. leviathan stew. What else. maybe she bakes smt sweet as well#lifeline i think would make tamales & bacalao w octane and they’d bring those#she’d also bake cookies and maybe a little cake#wattson and gibraltar prepare the turkey together (disaster but gibraltar keeps it together)#wattsy also bring latkas and applesauce#fuse was originally making the turkey but he fucked it up bad and set everything on fire so gibbs and watts took over#newcastle gets bangalore to make sticky toffee pudding with him (family recipe that she never liked)#caustic brings mash potatoes. not much but he’s caustic . so (they still taste good)#hound bringing a very well done and decorated rack of some creature meat (it’s definitely delicious though#wraith bakes a pie with wattson a few days before holidays probably#rampart also brings a pie or maybe mathri……….ouuugh mathri…..(wants some)#loba makes creme de papaya and a christmas cake with valkyrie and horizon also helps#seer makes stuffing and catalyst also makes stuffing and they are both really good so they don’t get mad about it#i feel like maggie could make a good nut roast.. if they even let her in the kitchen#vantage and her make a nut roast. why not#and vantage’s mom always prepared yuca around the holidays so she HAS to bring it. or else#pathfinder also decorates for the potluck btw. gibraltar and wattson help also#crypto ash and revenant don’t bring anything . crypto because he doesn’t like to cook and ash and revenant because they suck. ❤️#sorry i needed to share my truth#apex legends
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I love my dad, he still has that picture of my neon orange buzzcut as his whatsapp profile pic 🥲
#i also love my mam bug this is about my dad#*but not bug#who makes certain foods just for me when I'm visiting home like that apple cake or that dish with sweet potatoes and spinach#who randomly gifts me books about topics i mentioned and talked only a bit about#i love my dad and its nice to know and feel that he cares about me and loves me too#.txt#sure he's not perfect but neither am i
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i know my biggest red flag finally.....
......i do not like most sweets, im very picky abt them actually, and i REALLY dont like chocolate unless its in very specific forms
#hadjfkakdhskkajff#this feels out of the blue but i saw a silly red flags post the other day and its been rotating in my mind since#and then i just saw a video of that chocolatier guy making some kind of new chocolate thing idek#and it was like chocolate baked flaky roll with a cookie on top??? and it made me gag#cause the thought of even a chocolate cookie let alone All that chocolate made my teeth and tummy hurt#the sweets i tend to like are like...... spiced#spice cakes. pumpkin or sweet potato pie. i do like those breakfast pastries but i dont always end up finishing them#i like vanilla cake but NOT french vanilla. plain vanilla or vanilla bean. i cannot stand anything that tastes too much like a candle#i like some candies - most fruity or sour but when it comes to chocolate based things its like. coated items. like almond joys or 100 grand#i do like tootsie rolls but that's bc they taste like PLASTIC!#and I frequently get the urge to eat plastic so yk. good to have substitutes#anyway ahkflajdkflajdjf sorry for the 10am lore drop#OH AND I DO LOVE SWEETS THAT ARE NUT BASED BC THEY'RE ALWAYS LESS SWEET#(almond croissants my beloved)#im much more of a savory person tho and i have so many friends who would die if i had nuts near them so i usually only have these things#like at home or alone
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storebought is fine if you want, but you are encouraged to make something yourself! share what you're bringing in the tags :3
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It sucks how bad cooked carrots suck, because raw carrots are awesome
But you've got no crunch, almost none of that flavor... ugh
#like I can tolerate it this time cause it's using up carrots we have on hand#but just... I want to like cooked carrot; but I actually like raw ones and none of what's good transfers over#glazed carrots or whatever they're called are even worse; can't stand that style of sweet thing#like candied stuff is just disgusting to me; give me the regular pecan which is great; candied stuff makes me feel sick frankly#and like I'm not saying never cook a carrot; carrot cake is great; but it's got body and it's actually good#it's just... it's not like a potato where you put it in a stew and it's great; put a carrot in a stew and it's mushy trash
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Would you ever do like mob and Simon’s first date night together or something like that ( love your writing )
mail-order bride (18+)
the wine sits idle in the middle of the table. simon leans back against his chair, sighing deeply as he runs a big palm over his lower stomach, all pudgy and full from the meal you had placed on the table.
you had surprised him. candles on the table, his favorite red wine decanted into a crisp glass, beef short ribs falling apart over a plate of mashed potatoes. he had no time to scold you for cooking because you had been finished by the time he stepped through the door.
immaculate, sweet girl. the first bite of the food had him sucking on his teeth, biting back a moan. such a good meal, perfection in a pot, with creamy potatoes that had him licking the prongs of the fork as he watched you from across the table, eyes glazed over with love for feeding him better than he ever had been in his whole life. he had seconds, thirds, pawing at your skirt when you asked if he wanted more, his tongue sliding over the knife that he didn't even need to get any piece of sauce off the plate.
and then dessert. perfect little chocolate cakes in pretty little tins, with a cracked top. and when he broke the surface with his spoon, it was flooded with hot ganache, a gooey molten lava cake that he gave you heart eyes for as he ate it up with dramatic slurps.
fuck, he cannot stop looking at you. maybe you put poison in the food because you've never looked more beautiful than you do right now. you're sitting there, hair off your face, spoon in your mouth as you lick off the warm chocolate from it. that pretty pink tongue sliding over the edge of it, gathering that sweet center and swallowing, the bob of your throat making his breath catch as he follows it all the way to the low neckline of your dress. that sweetheart neckline makes your tits look so perky, so bouncy, and he can tell you aren't wearing a bra because he can see your nipples between the polka dot pattern.
"come 'ere," simon says lowly, dropping the spoon with a defiant clatter onto his plate. you smile, standing from your seat, and you bounce over to where he's sitting. simon sits you down on the table in front of him, shoving his plate far back to give you room. he picks up his glass of wine and chugs it practically, licking the last drop before setting down the glass and flipping you over with practiced ease.
you gasp as your hips hit the wood. you bend, barely having enough time to catch yourself with your hands before you hear his chair scrape against the floor. you can feel his size as he stands up and towers over you, and your toes curl when you hear the buckle of his belt.
"w-what--"
"'m not gonna fuck ya, baby," simon sighs, smoothing his hands up the back of your thighs before flipping your skirt up. he snorts when he sees you're wearing polka dot panties to match your little dress, and you squeak when he grips the flimsy fabric with one big hand and shreds it with ease, tossing it aside. "first time 's gonna be so nice, i promise..." he clicks his tongue, "but fuck, ya gotta let me, luvvie..."
"please," you gasp, sliding back a little, pressing your ass against the front of his jeans. you can feel the open zipper scratch against your cunt, and he sighs shakily. you hear the rustle of fabric, and you sob with relief when you feel the warmth of his cock slap against your ass. "oh, god--simon!"
"i know, luv," he groans, "i know...not ready for it, not yet..." he licks his lips, sliding your dress up further, exposing your lower back and the sweat that's gathered there. he grips himself at the base, swiping over his wet tip before using it to give himself a languid stroke. at the first sound of a squelch, you whine, and he squeezes your hip gently. "agggh--fuck--"
your back bows when he slides his cock between your thighs. he's so big. thick and wide, not as lengthy as you might have expected but god, he's got the girth of your fucking arm. he keeps your back arched as he grips your wrists and tugs, drawing you up until your neck leans back against his chest. he gives you a slow thrust, the tip of his cock catching on your clit as he rolls his hips just right.
"oh--simon--"
"can't wait," he mumbles, sliding a thick palm over your throat, mouthing against your ear. "fuck, i can't wait to 'ave ya...can't wait to devour this fuckin' pussy--"
"simon--" you cry, reaching up and gripping his hand around your throat, and you sob again when you feel the cold band of his wedding ring. mine, mine, mine, mine--
"wot's y'r fuckin' name, baby?" simon asks, rocking his hips. you shake every time he hits your clit, and with his tight grip, all you can do is stand there and take it as he fucks your thighs. his cock is moving so nice between your folds, stimulating every little part of you, and you aren't coherent enough to be ashamed of how wet you are, starting to soak his cock and contribute to the intense wet shlick that sounds from between your legs. "huh? tell me--"
"'m mrs. riley," you babble, sucking his fingers into your mouth as they move up your throat. your eyes flutter shut, your entire body going slack as he lets go of your wrist with his free hand and pulls your hips back against his.
"tha's right," simon grunts, "my pretty girl. my perfect little wife, cookin' so fucking good for me, takin' such good care o' me, fuck--" simon groans, "rock fuckin' hard ever since i walked through tha' fuckin' door, baby."
"mmm--!" you squeal, bracing yourself against the edge of the table as he cups your pussy with one hand and cums between your folds the next. with just a few warm strokes, you're spilling into his palm, jelly in his arms as he collapses into the seat behind him and cradles you in his lap. "mrs...mrs. riley..." you're babbling again, giggling all warm and lucid, and simon chuckles as he cups the back of your head, feeding you his wet fingers and cursing under his breath as he watches you lick the slick off his hand.
you pay special attention to his ring finger, tongue swirling around the gold band. when you let his finger go with a pop, your eyes flutter open, and they meet his.
yeah, he thinks. she's ready.
#remember when i said i couldnt write#well i got this thought and just had to write it down#im still mentally FUCKED right now#simon ghost riley#simon riley#simon ghost riley x reader#simon riley x reader#simon riley x you#ghost mw2#ghost cod#ghost call of duty#ghost mwii#ghost x reader#cod#call of duty#simon ghost riley smut#ghost smut#simon riley smut#order up
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cw: pregnancy
“when you said we were sneaking out to go for a ride, i didn't think you meant that,” you sigh, breathless but content as you slump against your husband’s chest.
“deep breaths, darling,” diluc encourages, fingertips brushing down your spine. it makes him think of before, of juvenile fumbling and embarrassment. he’s much less chaste now. confident in his touches and his ability to please you. “why let the horses have all the fun?”
“you’ve been spending too much time with kaeya,” you grumble.
“i agree. it’s why i had to sneak away from his party with you.”
“your party,” you correct, letting him twine your fingers with yours. just like he had earlier, when he’d convinced you to sneak out of the surprise birthday party thrown in his honour. “the guests are likely looking for you.”
diluc’s used to being the center of attention. he doesn't necessarily enjoy it, but his day-to-day is filled with employees searching for his signature or potential clients seeking his participation on new ventures. as the king of the wine industry, he’s possibly the most in-demand person in mondstadt.
but their attention is nothing compared to yours. you’re his favourite person.
“you didn't even make it to the cake,” you add, shifting in his lap. “which means they'll be looking for us soon.”
he brings your hand to his lips, placing a soft kiss upon your knuckles and making your heart flutter. “i've already had dessert.”
your face warms considerably against his skin as he chuckles, releasing your hand in favour of slowly smoothing his palm down your side, resting on your hip. he’s more than content to abandon his birthday party entirely in favour of being here in bed, watching the sunset over the fields of your home and bathing you both in golden light.
“well, it’s your birthday party,” you say softly. “even if your actual birthday is two days away, i still want you to have everything you could possibly want. and if what you want is to sneak away from your party to bed me so thoroughly, who am i to argue?”
his heart starts to thump so loudly in his chest that he fears you can hear it. he does want something else, an answer to a question that’s been stifled by shyness, fear, and uncertainty.
“and if i wanted…something else?”
your fingers trace idle patterns across his arm as you hum. “i’d do my best to give it to you.”
he knows you would. which is why he’s been waiting, making sure you want this just as much as he does.
“kaeya said something to me earlier,” he starts.
“please tell me this doesn't end with you hitting him.”
“of course not.” well, not this time. “he asked when i would make him an uncle.”
your movements pause, and diluc wonders if he'd messed up, if it was too soon–
you sit up immediately, grasping his shoulders. “he told you i was pregnant, didn't he? i knew adelaide wouldn't be able to keep it a secret. she’s been knitting baby socks since last week.”
wait.
wait.
“you’re–”
“i wanted it to be a surprise,” you deflate, a frown tugging on your pretty lips. “on your real birthday. adelinde was the only one i told, only because she’d caught me throwing up in the rose bush she’d just pruned and insisted i get checked…”
diluc’s hardly hearing you, your rambling slowing to a stop as he holds your face in his hands.
he needs to hear you say it.
“we’re having a baby?”
you place your hands atop his, nodding. “we’re having a baby, diluc.”
he presses his lips against yours, one firm kiss before he rests his forehead against yours. you are and will always be his favourite person, the only one who could give him a gift as special as this.
_____
BONUS:
“lavender bisque. whispering peach. sweet potato surprise…” adelinde murmurs, hunched over a few sheets of paper.
“what is that? is that the menu for tomorrow’s party?” kaeya asks, peeking over her shoulder.
adelinde sighs, shaking her head. “they're sample colours i had sent over for the nursery.”
“nursery?”
“yes–” the colour drains from the poor woman’s face as she realizes her slip. “oh dear!”
the realization takes a few moments to sink into the cavalry captain’s “my brother had sex?!”
for @mydiluc aka mrs diluc ragnvindr for listening to my endless rambles...and also diluc bday fic!!!
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have your cake | quinn hughes
warnings: overstimulation, multiple orgasms, oral (fem!receiving), fingering, unprotected p in v, coming on reader's body, subspace (not directly called that but gf is DEEP in SOME headspace) pairing: birthday boy!quinn hughes x fem!reader summary: it's quinn's 25th birthday, so fem!reader gives him the chance to do his favorite thing in bed for as long as he would like. wc: 2992
“Thank you for dinner, sweetheart,” Quinn says, bringing his napkin to his face and wiping his mouth. “And thanks for not making my birthday such a big deal.”
He had asked for such, so you were just trying to follow his wishes. The Canucks hadn’t had a game today, so Quinn had gone to practice like normal. He had grabbed a drink with Petey, Garly, and J.T. afterward as a special treat for his birthday. You know that Tocchet had asked catering to make Quinn a singular birthday cupcake, since he isn’t the biggest fan of sweets during the season.
With you, though, he just wanted to spend his time. You made him a steak, his favorite. On the side, you baked a potato and heaped a healthy pile of green beans onto his plate. For fun, you made some cheesy garlic bread, and although he doesn’t normally eat gluten during the season, he’s never been able to deny your fluttering eyelashes and doe eyes.
He cleared his plate. He always does, but you feel especially proud of your cooking today.
“You’re welcome,” you respond. “I’m glad you liked it. Has your birthday been good?”
Quinn nods. “It was a good day. Very calm. It’s still weird without Jack and Luke, but I talked to them earlier. They called me before practice, right after they got out of the gym.” He pauses, reaching out with his palm up so you take his hand. “This dinner is the cherry on top.”
“You haven’t even had dessert yet,” you tell him. “Since it’s your birthday, you get to have your cake and eat it, too.” You’d been thinking about the pun for hours. It might not make the most sense, given the dessert that you’re going to offer him in just a few minutes, but you think you’re funny. You’re on the last few bites of your own dinner, so you want to clear your plate and load the dishwasher before you offer him anything.
“Baby, I don’t need anything sweet,” Quinn says. “I already had something today.”
You take the final bite of potatoes, then swallow. You stand, collecting his plate and stacking it atop your own. “You’ll like it, I promise.”
“What is it?” Quinn asks.
“A surprise,” you tease, winking at him as you rinse the debris off of the plates with hot water. Then, you load the dishwasher and wash your hands, drying them with the towel that hangs near the sink.
“You’re such a tease,” Quinn laughs, pretending to chide you for withholding. He stands from the table and washes his own hands, but as soon as he’s done, he takes the opportunity to get handsy with you. He dries his hands on your clothes, leaving wet handprints over your ass and waist, plus one over one of your tits for good measure.
You twist away from him like you hate the antics, but it’s just the precursor to his dessert, which he doesn’t know yet. Sure, he’s probably hoping to get laid tonight– and it is his birthday, after all– but you had other plans.
Quinn rarely gets to do his favorite thing in bed. Part of that is because you’re both busy and when you fuck, you want to fuck. You like getting to the point where Quinn’s ample cock is buried inside you, filling you with his come, all while he murmurs little nothings about “you’re mine,” “gonna put a baby in you,” or the like.
His favorite thing is to lay between your legs and eat you out until your thighs are squeezing his head and covering his ears and suffocating him. Like you said– you’re normally greedy for his cock, even impatient (which is how he often describes your attitude in bed), but today is Quinn’s birthday.
So, if he wants to, and he will want to, he’ll eat your pussy for dessert. He’ll eat you out until he’s had his fill, no matter how many orgasms it takes. You already set two full bottles of water on the bedside table in your shared room, plus you bought some fruit at the store so that you can recharge when he’s done with you. You’re expecting overstimulation, a fuzzy brain, and maybe even tears as a result of the pleasure.
You’re prepared for anything, because you’re at the mercy of the birthday boy today.
“Go to our room,” you tell Quinn. “I’m going to bring you dessert in bed, okay? I’ll be there in a few minutes. Just let me get everything ready.”
“Good idea,” Quinn says. “Then we won’t have to leave bed afterward.”
You playfully roll your eyes at him and shoo him away, but he’s absolutely correct. That’s the whole point.
Quinn goes, blowing you a kiss just before he walks out of sight because he can’t help himself from being silly when you share a domestic evening together.
Once he’s gone, you pretend to prepare a dish. You open and close the fridge a couple of times, you click the lighter like you’re lighting candles, you remove plates and cups from the cupboard so that he hears the clatter and suspects nothing. As you move around the kitchen, shuffling along inconspicuously, you remove your clothes.
Underneath your normal leggings, t-shirt, and one of Quinn’s Canucks sweatshirts lies your favorite part of the outfit. You’d been planning to do this since the end of September, so you’d had plenty of time to go to Victoria’s Secret and buy yourself a black, lace crotchless teddy. Quinn will get to look up at you in the (not-so cheap) fabric and admire how it fits you without sacrificing his ability to eat you out. There’s no barrier between your cunt and his tongue, despite the fact that you’ll still be clothed.
You have planned everything out to the final detail, to the final possibility, and you might be just as eager as Quinn will be when he sees you.
So that you’ll have something to snack on when he’s done, you actually wash the fruit you bought earlier and put it in a bowl. Holding the bowl in one hand, you politely knock on the bedroom door before entering.
Quinn is already in the process of removing his shirt and getting ready for bed. When you walk in, he turns to meet you. When he sees what you’re wearing, he freezes and his lips part in surprise.
In a second, you watch his expression melt into his typical “my brain has turned off and now the only thing that I can think about is getting my girlfriend in bed” look.
“Happy birthday, baby,” you say, biting your lip as you take in his reaction. You put a hand on your hip and pop it to the side, showing off your outfit.
“Are you my present?” He asks, a slow smile spreading across his face.
“I’m your dessert,” you correct.
“Even better,” Quinn decides, crossing the room and getting his hands on you.
“Wait,” You tell him.
Quinn pouts, but drops his hands to his sides.
You give him a little twirl, revealing the way that your behind is only partially covered by the lace of the lingerie. You move slowly, giving him plenty of time to stare at all of the parts of your body, thoroughly taking you in.
He gives you a low whistle as you turn. You touch his jaw when you’re done, then you turn to the bed. You actually crawl from the foot of the bed, giving him a show.
When you collapse against the pillows, making yourself comfortable. Quinn stares at you, walking to the bed and touching your ankle. He draws a star on your skin, surveying the view.
“What can I– what do you want me to do?” Quinn asks, eyes still raking your figure.
“Whatever you want,” you reply. “It’s your birthday.”
“Whatever I want?” Quinn repeats.
You hum in affirmation. “Your fingers, your cock,” you list. You raise your eyebrows, bringing one of your legs up into a bent position. His eyes are drawn to your core. “Your mouth.”
Quinn’s attention snaps to your face.
“Whatever you want,” you confirm again. “For however long you want. All night, even. Birthday boy.”
“I love you,” Quinn says, climbing up onto the bed and settling between your legs. “You’re perfect.”
“I expect the same kind of treatment on my birthday,” you banter back, moving with his touch. He nudges your knee, so you spread your legs for him.
Quinn doesn’t reply, running his fingers over the fabric that lies on either side of your pussy. He pushes his thumb against your clit, applying pressure but not giving pleasure, not yet.
You take it as a sign that you’re in for a long night. So, you shift and make yourself more comfortable. You look down, watching Quinn.
He’s gentle to start. He presses sweet kiss after sweet kiss to your folds, to your clit which is still hidden. He takes his time.
You’re not sure which is true: if you’re wet of your own accord, or if Quinn’s gentle licks and smeared kisses make you that way.
In the end, it doesn’t matter. You’re wet and Quinn’s getting to do what he loves. You’re comfortable, he’s making satisfied noises as he grows more eager, and everything feels good.
You touch his hair, smoothing it off of his forehead. You tilt your head, admiring him with slow blinks and a serene smile on your face.
Quinn has a one-track mind at the moment. Until he’s drawn an orgasm out of you, he won’t look up and check in.
His tongue teases you, traipsing along your slit and circling your clit leisurely. He’ll run his bottom lip over the skin, letting it drag along your core and create unexpectedly satisfying friction. He’ll nose at your clit, bumping his features along your most sensitive points, just because he can. Quinn’s eyes are closed, fully immersing himself in the moment.
He works his tongue into you over time, at first teasing you with flicks and short dips, but it doesn’t take long for him to grow greedy for more– greedy for your release all over the muscle. It’s then that he licks into you as best he can, using his thumb to stimulate your bundle of nerves. He repeats the same motion over and over– prodding his tongue into you, drawing it out… again and again, all the while he’s pressing against your clit.
Your first orgasm builds slowly. Slow and steady wins the race, they always say, and Quinn is drawing the orgasm out of you like the tortoise in this race. You’re starting to feel a bit jumpy, like the rabbit, your hips aching to move beneath him and grind against his face.
But, this is his birthday present. You restrain yourself because it’s his gift. He gets to set the pace. If Quinn wants to make this the most built-up, desperate orgasm of your life, he’s allowed to do so.
It takes minutes. Minutes of Quinn humming and licking and touching you with the pad of his thumb until you feel yourself start to crest over the wave of your climax.
“Close,” you breathe out.
Quinn pays you no mind, just continuing his ministrations until you’re clenching down on his tongue with a whimper. Your hand clutches his hair, trying not to seize up beneath him as you come, riding out the waves with his tongue still poking around inside of you.
He moves more slowly as you come down from your first, withdrawing his tongue from your cunt and licking over the slick that accumulated after your orgasm.
“Again,” Quinn murmurs. He doesn’t allow you to take a breath before he finds your clit with his tongue and latches on.
He seems committed to making your subsequent releases quick. His mouth feels like the tube of a vacuum against your clit, unrelenting and merciless. He’s sucking, and sucking, and sucking.
Quinn is starting to get sloppy. He’s got slick all over his lips, all over his chin. He stares up at you now, nothing behind his hooded eyes. He’s just taking you in, looking at you from his favorite angle.
His hands are resting on the insides of your thighs, laying securely to keep your legs spread for him. His pupils are dilated, massive and dark. His jaw works– you can see the bones in his face shifting as he tastes you. His face is scruffy as he nuzzles against you.
It isn’t long until you come again, just as strong as the first one. This climax seems to hit you harder, just because it came more quickly.
“Another,” he says into your skin, shifting one of his hands to push a finger into your heat. He doesn’t move his mouth from your clit, only intensifying his suction.
“Fuck,” you reply, halfway between a moan and a cry for… something. A break? For more?
You’re not sure. Things are starting to blur together and turn fuzzy. You’ve come twice without a moment of reprise, because that’s what Quinn wants. You’ll give him as many as he desires, until you physically cannot give any more.
You close your eyes and lose track of time, seeing stars the next time Quinn makes you come. He’s worked up to a second finger now, scissoring them and removing his tongue from your clit to shove it between his fingers. All three are inside of you, bringing you over the crest again.
Then, a third finger and his tongue on your nipple.
Then, again, with his tongue on your other nipple.
Another with his mouth pressing insistent kiss after insistent kiss to your cheeks, lips, and neck.
Your vision is black, then reeling with colors like that scene in Ratatouille when Remy mixes all of those different flavors, then like television static on an old TV.
“One more,” Quinn’s voice comes out of the darkness.
You whine, high in the back of your throat.
“I know, sweetheart,” Quinn murmurs. He’s touching your face, wiping underneath your eyes. “I know. You’re doing so well. You’re being so good for me. I love you so much– give me one more on my cock, okay? Then we’ll be done.”
“Quinn,” you keen, opening your eyes and finding it hard to look at him through the wetness there. You hadn’t realized that the overstimulation had gotten to you so much– but that’s what multiple orgasms will do to you. That’s how you react when your body is experiencing so much pleasure that it’s painful.
“That’s right, baby, I’m right here,” Quinn assures you. You can feel his cock nudging against your entrance, which feels like it’s gaping. You’re certain that your clit is swollen from the stimulation, the excessive stimulation. He sinks into you, inch by inch, cooing quietly to keep you grounded. “You’re so close already, I can feel it in the way you’re squeezing me. It’ll be quick, baby, I promise.”
He continues to talk while he fucks you, telling you how good you’ve been. He tells you how sexy you are, how perfect. He tells you how hard he’s been since you walked into the bedroom in your dirty, pretty lingerie and how he honestly thought he was going to come in his pants when you clenched down on his fingers for the third time and a weak dribble of your cum had dripped down his wrist.
You’re far gone. Sure, you’re there– you can feel him inside, pumping into you and throbbing against your walls. You can feel the way Quinn’s lips move over your own when he kisses you and when he speaks, feeding the words directly into your mouth. His fingers are toying with your puffy clit, and you’re sure it feels nice, but all you can feel is heat and friction.
“Quinn,” you say again.
“Let go,” he instructs under his breath. “Let go for me. Come around my cock, baby.”
You nod, agreeing to a seemingly-impossible task.
Quinn is always able to make the impossible happen. Your final climax manifests in shaking legs and bolts of lightning in your stomach, churning and folding in on itself. Your eyes are squeezed shut, tears leaking from the corners, which Quinn kisses away.
He doesn’t come inside you. After you reach your final peak, he pulls out. He jerks himself above you, continuing to kiss your face and praise you for being so good to him. He comes all over your stomach and you’re glad– if he had come inside you, or somewhere equally as sensitive like your tits, it would be far too much when the time came to clean you up. With his cum on your stomach, he’s able to wipe you down without causing you any discomfort.
When it’s all over, he helps you sit up and drink your water. He kisses your temples and your forehead, your cheeks and your jawline. He surrounds you with one of his big t-shirts, like a massive hug, and he pulls you onto his lap so that you can collapse into the crook of his neck. Quinn rubs your back and convinces you to eat some of the berries you brought into the room earlier.
You’re tired when you’re able to verbalize a full sentence again. You’re exhausted, really. Quinn pushed you to your absolute limit, although you’re not dissatisfied with the way things went. You sought a night where he could do whatever he wanted, which he did, and now you want to sleep.
“Happy birthday,” you muster.
Quinn breathes out a chuckle, cradling your jawline as you stain his neck with a splotchy kiss. “Thank you again for being so perfect,” he says. “You made my birthday so special, baby. Let’s sleep, okay? I’ll cuddle you all night long.”
Within minutes, you’re drifting off to the lullaby of his breath.
#puck-luck's fics#andy writes anything🍄#quinn hughes#quinn hughes smut#quinn hughes fanfiction#quinn hughes x reader#qh43#nhl smut#nhl fanfiction#nhl fic#hockey smut#happy birthday quinn <3
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TEEN IN A TIM BURTON MOVIE DIET 🦴🌫️
(inspired by @honeysugarfree)
.˚⊹.🎃₊˚𖦹⋆
You wake up with one thing on your mind: going out for a walk in the woods. But you can’t. You’re a teenager who has school, and your parents would kill you if you skipped school.
It’s too early to eat anything. Pass the time playing with your cat or simply reading by the window as the sun rises.
School is so boring when all you’re craving is a nice cup of warm soup or hot chocolate prepared by your mum. Whatever, you’ll suffer in silence and snack on whatever fruits you threw into your bag this morning.✧˖°.☾
For lunch, you’ll have leftovers from yesterday. roasted/baked/boiled veggies accompanied by rice or wheat. you don’t eat it all; it’s cold, and not that nice at all… Maybe your parents packed you a sandwich instead? make sure you don’t eat the crusts, though. they’re the worst part.
If you’re lucky, you might’ve even added one of your bakes as dessert (low cal pastry/cookie), or a small yoghurt. if you didn’t, don’t fret. your parent didn’t forget to include a fruit or veggie for health.
(¬ ´ཀ` )¬
Back home at last — not before you went on a small walk, though. your parents were worried about where you’d gone off too again, and you’re greeted by a warm broth/soup, or some more baked veggies.
you don’t finish your plate unless your walk was very tiring. you’re too eager to finish that book you started!
Once in a while, you might be allowed a piece of cake or some hot chocolate. not everyday, though. that would be bad for your teeth!
End the day with a cup of tea, reading under a warm blanket with a piece of your favourite chocolate or sweet. 🍂☕️🐈⬛
MEAL IDEAS I LOVE:
Chickpeas in tomato sauce with rice
Whole bread sandwich without the crust: tomato, cheese and cucumber (ham if you want, i’m vegetarian c:)
Ratatouille or Shakshuka with wheat/bulgur
Apple sauce cookies (i can share a good recipe if you want)
Pasta/zucchini gratin
Lasagna (spinach or veggies with tomato sauce - or mince, once again, i’m vegetarian)
potatoes (sweet is even better) with broccoli
Mushrooms with bread
Tomato salad (vinegar, herbs, olive oil)
Lentil/corn cakes with cream cheese
Pumpkin pie
Vegetable broth (or chicken) with vegetable dices
Potato soup
Tomato orzo soup
Mashed potatoes with lentils
Lentil soup
Beetroot (it’s so good even on it own)
REMEMBER!
You always prefer ‘halloween’ themed pastries — involving apples, pumpkin, carrots…
Eating isn’t a bother, you’re just a slow eater. don’t hesitate to share your love for sweets, while keeping consummation low.
You get tired of veggies so much! never finish a meal you don’t like.
Your favourite candy is liquorice, and most halloween themed ones like acorn or hard candy
Keep the chocolate low. it’s too heavy and nauseating!
If you must, have a piece of nutella/peanut butter and jelly toast, oats, or milk with fruits in the morning. i promise it’s much better than those ‘healthy’ alternatives (makes you satisfies and low calorie if you only have one)
No crisps — they’re too oily and dirty your books. Pop corn is so much better (and lower in cols) — caramel or pumpkin spice is a staple!
Cinnamon on apples… the best treat!
If you ever eat out with family, eat only a third of the meal and get the rest to pack. it’s so good you want to make it last!!
Bake and cook as much as you can! This will make your parents understand what you like, and not push to make you eat those gross overly fat foods.
Try to stay under 1,000 kcals, but don’t count calories obsessively. keep portions small and always leave a third of your plate.
Have fun!
(i’ll make a moodboard with meals etc, i hope you enjoy!)
#@nor3xia#light as a 🪶#⭐️rving#4norexla#@n@ diary#⭐️ve#4n@diary#4nor3xia#@na bvtt3rfly#@n@ tips#4n4t1ps#4n0rexic#4n4blr#@na motivation#@nor3×14#@tw edd#@na vent#diet#honey diet#inspiration#unhealthy wl#starv1ng#tim burton#halloween#mealsp0#⭐️ ing motivation#wieiad#3d not sheeran#weight loss#3d
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Dracula Daily Prep: Gather Your Paprikash!
It's that time of year again. Even as we speak, Jonathan Harker has departed for Transylvania, and the unhallowed halls of Castle Dracula. And as he makes his way towards that foreboding country, he will encounter a singular, most enticing of dishes: Paprika Hendl, or as we might know it better, Chicken Paprikash!
This traditional Central European dish explodes in popularity each May as we all gather around our virtual mess hall to enjoy the spirit of this most influential of gothic novels. Perhaps you yourself are considering throwing together a pot this year? Well, if you are, let this be your guide.
So, first, let's discuss the most important of the ingredients here: authentic hungarian paprika. Now, the recipe I first used last year called only for Sweet Paprika, but I personally found that version to be a little bland. I'm remedying this by adding some Hot Paprika as well. However, this is just my personal experimentation. Hungarian Hot Paprika can in fact be very hot, so if you're not comfortable with anything too spicy, feel free to opt only for the Sweet Paprika.
(Both of these I had to order online.)
Next, is another very important addition. As youre gathering your basic cornerstones of cooking (namely yellow onion, roma tomato, and garlic for this recipe) you may find yourself passing up on something that could vastly improve your dish. I'm talking, of course, about Hungarian Wax Peppers. These peppers range in heat, from meak and mild to slightly hotter than you'd average jalapeño. As per instruction, you should only use one. But on my end, I found the single pepper to be a little underwhelming, and I had trouble picking out it's flavor. So, this year, I'll be using two of them.
I got these from Central Market, an upmarket gorcer on Westheimer. They're a cousin of HEB, and you can find one or two in every major city in Texas. If you're elsewhere, try an alternative like Whole Foods, or try to find a European or International food market in your area.
Next, let's talk chicken. You can't have Chicken Paprkiash without the chicken, after all.
You're going to want to go with dark meat cuts for this. Traditionally the dish would use a mix of legs and thighs. Personally, I suggest using only the thighs, which you'll want to get bone-in and skin-on. The thigh provides a flater surface for browning than the leg, as well as more meat.
(A note on food safety, raw chicken will usually only last 2-3 days in the fridge. So you'll want to grab that fairly close to the day you're actually cooking this. If not, you can do what I'll be doing, and sticking it in the freezer until about 24 hours before I start cooking.)
So, as you gather your meat, produce, and spice you're probably asking yourself, "what on Earth am I going to be eating this with?" And the answer to that is spaetzle! A popular dumpling present in lots of Central European cooking, this is exactly what you need to tie this all together.
Now, while you should be able to find some in the international isle of most major grocers, you might also have to visit an international food store, or perhaps something more upmarket. If none of these options work, then there are a variety of other side dishes that work just as well. Egg noodles are a very popular choice, and in my very American attempt last year, I found that mashed potatoes work especially well.
Now that you've got all these things together, you're very nearly done. All that's left is the thickener. Paprikash is thickened using a blend of flour, heavy whipping cream, and sour cream. We'll get onto preparing this mixture in my post on actually cooking the paprikash, but until then, acquiring them should be a cake walk at any place food items are sold.
Now that will conclude the actual grocery list for just the Paprikash itself, but I do have one more pointer on how to really liven up this meal. Now, if you're under 21 or if perhaps you take after our dear, depraved, beloathed Count
Then you can skip this next bit. As a wine professional myself, I find that a well paired glass can add a tremendous flare to nearly any already great dinner. In the case of something like Chicken Paprkiash, and keeping with the Central European theme, I could hardly think of a better match than a good German Pinot Noir, also known as a Spatburgunder. Pinot from Germany typically has a very light body and a refreshing acidity that plays very well with the rich and creamy sauce of Chicken Paprikash. The palate of earth and red fruit should always pair nicely with the smoke of the paprika, as well as being a general good partner for any chicken. I myself am going with this 2020 Rheingau from August Kesseler.
And with that, we are done! Hit those checkout isles and make sure to get home before dark. Terrible things have sway over the world once the sun has gone down. So if the crowd does keep you locked up until nightfall, make sure to graciously accept any crucifixes given to you by kindly, elderly grandmothers and inn keepers. But whatever you do, make sure to pop in on Friday, when I'll be sharing a step by step guide on taking these ingredients and turning them into a dinner that will make our good friend Jonathan go red as a fire truck!
Happy Dracula Week everybody!
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You're the heir to the royal family of a kingdom besieged by demons and during a surrender, are offered up to one of the Demon Lords as a prize of battle. Don't worry, he assures you with a warm yet devious smile, you'll soon 'grow' to love your new life with him
You're taken back to his manor and draped in a lavish, yet skimpy outfit, one that really shows off your body and highlights the slight curves of your features. Your new Lord sits you down at a huge banquet table and takes his seat across from you. All manner of succulent and delicious foods are lined up before you, you take a moment to really take in the size of this hulking, handsome demon and assume he must eat like a beast. But when his impish servants are done setting the table, he just brings his elbows onto the table to rest his head in his hands. He smiles at you,
"You've nothing to fear. Eat."
His voice is so commanding. Nervously, you load up your plate with foods that seem the most familiar to you. Roast chicken, potatoes, various vegetables and a bread roll. It's delicious. With the effect the war has had on your kingdom, you can't remember the last time event he royal family could assemble such a sumptuous selection to feast upon... so you end up forgetting yourself a little and eating until you're quite stuffed. You lean back in your chair and graciously thank your Lord for the meal, shyly paying your compliments to the chef
"Good," he smiles wider and snaps his fingers. "Eat."
A surge of warmth courses through your body. With some demonic intervention, everything you'e just eaten rapidly digests within you and you feel hungry again. Your frame even grows a little bit softer, though not enough for you to notice just yet. You blush and oblige his order, you brain trying to rationalise what's happening. A display of dominance, perhaps? Or did he notice how much you were enjoying the food after having had so little for so long and just wanted you to get to enjoy that more? Was something bad coming after this, or was he actually a good demon somehow?
All of your questions seemed to melt away as you dug in to the feast again, this time trying the honey roasted ham, sweet fruits, leg shank and more. Once again you eat until you feel completely stuffed. Once again you thank your Lord for such a wonderful meal... and once again he smiles at you with fiery eyes from across the table, his own plate still empty and untouched,
"Good," another snap of his fingers. "Eat."
That familiar surge of warmth strikes again, but this time you notice how much plumper you look after, especially in your skimpy clothes. You look up at your Lord in shock and confusion, but he just gestures to the food in front of him. You timidly shake your head, yet your stomach growls audibly in the large dining hall
"Perhaps you'd be more in the mood for wine and cheese?" the demon snaps and the feast before you changes to a decadent cheese plate with crackers and dried meats abound. "Or would my royal prize prefer dessert?" Another snap and the table becomes stacked with cakes, pies and pastries alongside jugs filled with custards and creams, all so sweetly mouth watering The look of disbelief doesn't leave your face. Your stomach growls louder, more painfully as your owner laughs
"Better not to ignore your hunger, my dear. It'll be much more pleasurable for you if you just. Eat."
The command rings through you and sends shivers down your spine, you want nothing more than to stuff your face with every dessert in sight. Your hands reach forward greedily and you begin to eat your fill as your Lord looks on, almost lovingly at you
"So good, so obedient, I'm going to like you a lot," he stands and gently makes his way all around the table to your side, his towering form standing behind you, gently rubbing your now slightly pudgy shoulders. "I'll spoil you so much, feast after feast, night after night of pure pleasure to make you into the perfectly fattened up image of hedonism," his hands feels so good and warm on your soft skin as you gorge yourself. "Just think how demoralising it'll be for your kingdom, to see how easily their royal heir fell to demonic corruption... but I must say from a personal standpoint, I do just think you look so beautiful enjoying yourself like this. I'll have a bath ready for us after I think you're done here, there we can really relax and get to know each other, my dear. But for now, please keep eating. I told you you would grow to love it here."
#hutch posts#ok this got away from me but hoo boy#demons#weight gain#magical weight gain#rapid weight gain#stuffing#wg fiction#wg story#queer feedism#queer feedist#corruption kink
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BRACELETS | luke castellan.
pairing: luke castellan x fem!reader
summary: y/n finds herself a friend to celebrate her special day with. takes place before the lightning thief. luke & y/n are the same age. wc: 1.9k key: n/n = nickname
taglist: @repostingmyfavs @rinisfruity14 @soobin-chois | pm or comment to be added <3
a/n: merry christmas to those who celebrate!! this goes out to all my loves who just wish for one person to embrace them and spread happiness <3
sixteen.
it was finally y/n’s sixteenth birthday, and once again, not a single person to celebrate with. being a child of demeter was sweet, everyone was kind all around, but y/n simply couldn’t find her people.
she got along with everyone, no one had anything against her. sure, older kids would pick on her from time to time, but that was an automatic agreement she signed when joining camp two years ago.
she just couldn’t develop as strong of a bond with anyone. she’d sometimes fall asleep with silent tears, wondering if she was broken or missing something key. if everyone was nice, why couldn’t she trust? form a relation?
the night wielded a nice breeze, wafting through y/n’s locks as she sat by the strawberry fields, playing with the leaves. a slight glow emitted from her fingertips as she trailed them along the soil, a small smile on her lips.
glancing towards the amphitheater, she could see those her age dancing and singing, having the time of their lives. the younger kids had dispersed due to curfew, she noted.
they all seemed to be in glee.
snapping her eyes shut, she fought back the intrusive thoughts and inhaled a sharp breath. opening her eyes, y/n grabbed some of the soil, stacking it into three layers. grabbing a strawberry, she delicately placed it atop and pulled away to admire her makeshift cake.
“happy birthday, n/n — happy sweet sixteenth,” she said loud enough just for her to hear. looking up at the glimmering stars, y/n decided to make a wish.
all i wish for is belonging. true belonging.
y/n went back to her cake, grabbing the strawberry and picking herself up from the ground. dusting herself off, she took her water bottle and gently rinsed the strawberry. placing it between her teeth and softly biting into it, she savoured the taste as she walked down towards the amphitheater and then the cabins.
she felt stupid for not wearing a proper jacket or shirt, but she did enjoy the fresh air leaving a chill to her skin. y/n was hoping her black tee would blend her into the night, especially as she neared the amphitheater. she wasn’t entirely keen on interacting more at the moment — it was past twelve and she knew she couldn’t match their energy.
“hey, y/n?”
the girl halted in her tracks. turning on her heel, she came face to face with none other than the loveable hermes boy lightly jogging up to her.
“hi luke,” she greeted, passing him a small smile.
luke smiled back immediately. after a silent beat, he spoke again. “i just wanted to say, ha —“
“hey, luke! get over here, man, we need your backup vocals right now!” one of the hermes kids yelled, y/n couldn’t tell who from their distance.
“yeah, give me a sec!” he screamed, turning back to the girl.
“no dude, we need you RIGHT NOW! we’re gonna be mashed potatoes if you don’t!”
luke rolled his eyes, positioning himself back towards the theatre. “can’t you see i’m busy?”
“you can talk to anyone about anything whenever, luke! this is a one time exclusive!”
“stop quoting missy elliot, and no, give me two minutes!” he replied, a slight whine in his voice.
a scoff followed, “we’re gonna be eliminated, castellan!”
exasperated by bickering with his brothers, luke sighed and nodded. “i’ll be right there!”
the boy instantly spun back around, wanting to wish the demeter girl a happy birthday.
she was at least 30 feet ahead of him, speed walking away with a slight slump to her shoulders.
luke’s smile dropped. another day, another day of being unable to fully attend to her. these countless moments have occurred more than he could fathom — he was always pulled away from the one girl he didn’t want to be pulled away from.
and yet here she was, disappearing out of his sight once again. “this karaoke better be worth it,” he grumbled under his breath as he trudged back.
the next morning was calm, not many campers up to anything special. there was a soft pitter patter on the window panes, but y/n didn’t mind. the rain rejuvenated her.
throwing on her raincoat but paying no mind to her shorts or shoes, y/n left the cabin with her stash of bracelet material in her pocket and sprinted through the paths, heading to chiron and mr. d.
luke’s attention immediately perked up at the bolting girl, and he realized this might just be the one time he can say anything.
subtly running after her, he watched as she entered the big house and rather excitedly. he followed inside, keeping a distance when he heard her begin to speak to chiron.
he didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but he did hear it all.
“may i call my dad?”
“of course, y/n. here,” luke could hear the shuffle of a phone, and footsteps coming closer to the edge of chiron’s office.
the dial tone was evident. it went through three times before he heard the young girl speak.
“hey dad. hope you’re doing good. should've known you weren't gonna pick up. i turned sixteen today, fyi. hope your kids are doing fine and same with that blonde bimbo,” she spat, making luke’s eyes widen. “i’m not coming home for christmas. might be early to determine but i’m sure i won’t. bye.”
she walked back to chiron, and luke could hear light sniffles coming from her. his heart sank.
“for all it matters, i’m here, we all are. happy birthday, y/n. you’ve always made us proud, you’ve always been an asset to us, you deserve to know that no matter what,” chiron reassured, and luke could hear the girl softly thank him.
stepping outside of chiron’s office and shutting the door behind her, y/n broke into a sob in the hallway. it was one thing to have others not be around, but when family abandons, nothing feels real anymore.
luke observed as she stopped her tears almost as quick as they started, wiping her eyes as she headed towards him, unbeknownst to her.
“uh,” luke cleared his throat, “hey, y/n.”
y/n’s face warmed up, startled at his presence. hurriedly fixing herself up, she nodded. “hi luke.”
“i’m sorry for last night,” he apologized, scratching the nape of his neck. “i was trying to talk to you but i guess i got carried away with everyone else,” he paused, looking down, “as usual. i’m sorry.”
y/n shook her head. “it’s okay. don’t apologize, life happens.”
“right,” luke acknowledged awkwardly. “speaking of life,” he approached her in a friendly manner, “i wanted to wish you a happy birthday last night. you’re sixteen, one of the biggest milestones in anyone’s life!”
his enthusiasm made the corners of y/n’s lips tug up, and she watched intently as he continued. “you deserve an amazing birthday, and i’m going to give that to you.”
y/n was not expecting that.
“c’mon, let’s go.” luke held his hand out to her, his dark curls practically bouncing in excitement. a sweet grin crept onto her face, making the young boy smile even wider. she accepted his hand, and the second he felt her palm within his, the fragility made him realize he could never be a part of something that’d hurt her ever again.
she was stronger than anyone he knew, enduring all the shit the world put upon her. he just knew he couldn’t be one of them to do the same.
together, the two gracefully left the big house, trampling down to camp and rushing towards god knows where.
somehow, they ended up at the pavilions, and without a second thought, y/n pulled out her bracelet material. luke was confused but watched eagerly as she carefully took the little sacks out.
“wanna make some friendship bracelets?”
“friendship bracelets?” luke asked, unsure of the concept.
y/n nodded. “today’s the day someone willingly decided to hang out with me. i was going to make some alone but if you want, we can create matching ones and mark our friendship.”
luke grinned toothily, “so we’re friends now?”
y/n nodded, “i’d love to be, if you don’t mind.”
his eyes screamed happiness, “i definitely don’t mind.”
the two taped down their threads, choosing colours that work cohesively with one another’s. “now you’re gonna wanna take this thread and do a tuck-knot with it,” y/n explained, showing the boy to her left the steps.
after getting the basics down, the two fell into a comfortable silence, threading away and adding some cute hand-made clay beads here and there. “i’m not too childish for wanting to do this, right?” y/n suddenly asked, a nervous smile on her face.
luke shook his head and gave her a hearty grin. “i don’t think there should ever be such thing as “too childish”, sucks the life out of everyone,” he looked back down at the bracelet, “plus, when you’re a demigod, what else is there to do? play video games? we’d be dead in minutes.”
y/n laughed. luke froze.
he’d never heard her laugh this much. she sounded pretty.
“you’re not wrong,” she slowly caught her breathing and softly chuckled. “are you close to finishing your’s?”
the hermes boy nodded and watched intently as y/n’s delicate fingers tutored him on how to securely tie the ends of the bracelet. watching her move so effortlessly made his heart skip a beat — she was perfect.
even though this was the smallest activity they could ever do, she was perfect at it. it made him wonder why he didn’t seize the opportunity to be her friend beforehand.
“hey, y/n?”
“yes, luke?”
“i just wanted to say,” his breath lightly hitched when she began placing the bracelet on his wrist to make sure it was of right measurement, “that, uh, you’re really pretty.”
now it was y/n’s turn to freeze.
“but, i’m not doing all of this to just be your boyfriend or whatever. hell, we’ve just begun our friendship,” he stifled a small, sweet laugh, “so when i say this i really just mean it from the bottom of my heart. i don’t want it to influence you in any way, i just want you to know how i’ve seen you for the past two years.
“you’re gentle and loving, not to mention stealthy and incredibly intelligent. i love whenever i look over and you’re always doing something that captivates me. i’ve been an idiot to admire you from afar for this long, but you’ve always deserved to know and be appreciated. i’m sorry i couldn’t give that to you sooner.”
y/n looked into luke’s eyes, somber traversing in her’s. “may i hug you?”
luke nodded, and y/n wrapped him up in her arms. the boy held tightly onto her, a sudden thought of losing her intruding his mind of peace. “happy birthday, y/n,” he whispered into her ear as they continued to embrace.
“thank you, luke. this means the world to me.”
luke now knew he had to give her the world, no matter what.
their matching bracelets would only be a reminder of what there was, what there will be and what will be gone.
#luke castellan#luke castellan x reader#luke castellan x you#luke castellan x y/n#charlie bushnell#luke castellan oneshot#percy jackson#percy jackson and the olympians#pjo#pjotv#percy jackson x reader#pjo x reader#pjo x you#charlie bushnell x reader
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G'morning all! Its nice to get back things,. Theres been some roadblocks with med shortages and life, and also with the material for these recipes. So far we've covered a lot of pastries, not because theyre mentioned more often in the series, but because being mentioned lends them more specificity in flavor than things like gravy, peas, or various meats. The latter can be prepped, seasoned, and served in so many different ways that it feels harder to make them 'faithfully' because a packet of instant potato mash is just as faithful as a pot of buttered potato mash. Baked goods tend towards 1, maybe 2, 'base' recipes that get altered and added to.
Today, we'll be making Beorn's Honey Cakes! A dish from one of my partners favorite characters- a delectable little treat befitting the… warm personality of the character.
(As always you can find the cooking instructions and full ingredient list under the break-)
MY NAMES CROSS NOW LETS COOK LIKE ANIMALS
SO, “what goes in to Beorn's Honey Cakes?” YOU MIGHT ASKSimple stuff! Simple sweet stuff!
All-purpose flour
Baking powder
Salt
Ground nutmeg
Unsalted butter
Whole milk
2 eggs
Honey
Vanilla extract
The veins of honey cakes ancestry can be traced back to any moment where people began baking bread. Honey is a natural preservative, and sweeter still on its lonesome.
AND, “what does Beorn's Honey Cakes taste like?” YOU MIGHT ASKLike your aching muscles repairing themselves
Tastes like a honey graham cracker
But the texture is softer, wetter- somewhat like banana bread
Oh, and this will make your house smell So So Good
If you can resist the temptation of eating them immediately, they taste even richer the day after baking
Would pair well with milk green tea
Would also pair well with fresh orange slices (or those chocolate 'orange slices' candy)
Genuinely don't forget to flip them upside down when they go to bake the second time, not sure what it is but i was curious and did a test where i flipped half of the batch upside down and kept the other half of the batch right-side up like they cooked in the muffin tin. The ones i flipped upside down universally had a more consistent texture and the honey was able to permeate further.
.where honey called for, used clover honey
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From start to finish this recipe takes about an hour of work, give or take some negligible time for prep.
The batter is perhaps the babybird of all cake batters. The gloopy, protruding crumbs of butter, not unlike a squabs beady pupils visibly dark under its skin, break up the mass of sickly smooth and reassuringly sweet-smelling oak-colored liquid. You can feel the confusion of bees outside your home, wondering if this your attempt at making royal jelly.
Just like a babybird, it becomes more than the sum of its parts. Layer on that honey drizzle, layer it on thick, theres no risk of drowning subtle flavors. Its crisp edges will keep its form, springy and warm, inviting you as if you're not the one who crafted it (food you didn't cook always tastes better). The bees are sooooooooooooooo jealous of your opposable thumbs and muscular strength.
If you dont have eggs you could try substituting with apple mash. I can't vouch for it in this recipe but replacing eggs with mashed up apples for pancakes gives it adds a nice fruity flavor without changing the texture, and in theory should work here as well.
I give this recipe a solid 10/10 (with 1 being food that makes one physically sick and 10 being food that gives one a lust for life again.)
🐁 ORIGINAL RESIPPY TEXT BELOW 🐁
Ingredients:
270 grams all-purpose flour
1 1/2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
1/4 tsp freshly ground nutmeg
1 stick unsalted butter
160 grams milk
2 eggs
110 grams your favorite honey
1 tsp vanilla extract
Muffin tray and parchment paper
Method:
Preheat oven to 350f
In a medium bowl, whisk together the flour, baking powder, salt, and nutmeg.
Add the butter and rub it into the flour with your fingers until the mixture resembles coarse crumbs.
In a small bowl beat the eggs until just combined. Pour in milk and then vanilla extract while stirring. Keep stirring vigorously while slowly pouring in honey.
Stir until the mixture is consistent in color.
Pour the liquids over the dry mixture and stir until just combined.
Pour the batter into a greased muffin tray, don't use any muffin paper/lining/cups.
Bake for 16 minutes, or until they reach their full height.
Carefully remove from the muffin pan and place the muffins upside down on a parchment lined tray.
Using a silicone pastry brush, generously cover the tops of the cakes with honey. Allow to sit for about 5 minutes to let the honey soak into the cakes.
Bake for an additional 8-10 minutes, or until the cakes are golden brown.
Remove from the oven and allow to cool.
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Gimme a oneshot of Reader who doesn't have any experience in love so she panics when she gets feelings for Hoshina, giving him random things (a nice rock, random vegetables, ect.) And randomly blurts out embarrassing compliments "YOUR MUSCLES LOOK VERY NICE TODAY VICE CAPTAIN SIR" before she just fucking books it out of there.
I love you so much bestie. I will do this for you 100%, thanks for always matching my freak.
The Thing About Being In Love
You always thought you wouldn't know love if it hit you in the face. But then you fell in love and felt like you just couldn't stop taking hits. You had no idea how to process your feelings, no idea how to convey those feelings in a way that made sense, and no idea how to stop those feelings from overflowing.
The thing about being in love with Soshiro Hoshina was that your feelings always made themselves known to him before you wanted them to. Before you could even think about what you needed to say and how you needed to say it, you words were already tumbling out in a chaotic jumble. They always did. And it made you love him even more that he never judged you for it. He'd just smile the same sweet smile again and you could feel yourself falling deeper and deeper.
When you first met him, you made quite the first impression- after reflexively reaching out to ruffle his hair because you just needed to know if it was as soft as it looked, you earned yourself 50 push-up's and his undying attention going forward. He wanted to know more about the girl who'd said fuck it to all manner of decorum and propriety, ignoring the chain of command to satisfy her desires. It wasn't until he got to know you better that he realized that you just couldn't control yourself.
He'd been particularly amused when you'd complimented the way his muscles looked in his favorite compression shirt (it was his favorite only because you'd complimented him in it). In fact, you'd noticed that he'd started wearing it more frequently around you after you made comments on it the first time around. And you just couldn't stop making comments on it every time after that.
"Oh, wow... your back muscles are gorgeous, can I touch them?" You yanked your hand back before you actually did touch him and scurried off, red in the face.
"Your abs look so solid... shit, I'm drooling." You shook your head aggressively, wiped your mouth, and ran off again.
One time you'd even had the nerve to say "Do you think you could wear me like that shirt?" Immediately after, you slapped a hand over your mouth and bolted like you were on fire.
And when you'd taken up gardening for fun, after harvesting a bunch of potatoes, you wondered if Hoshina liked potatoes which led you spiraling down the rabbit hole, wondering if he was eating enough. So, of course, you made the walk to his apartment in your gardening overalls and offered him the potato, still covered in dirt. He took it, stunned, and watched as you proceeded to walk away as if you'd never been there in the first place. Little did he know, you were embarrassed that you'd trudged over to him, still caked in mud, just to present him with the most underwhelming of gifts. You still didn't know how you got these ideas in your head and why your body executed them before your mind could properly protest.
Then there was the time that someone had painted a smiley face on a rock and placed it near the sidewalk by your house- it had reminded you of his warm smile and you'd given it to him in the middle of a training session. Despite your malfunctioning brain, your strength and your skill were actually quite impressive, and he always enjoyed a good spar with you. It wasn't until he had you pinned to the ground that you felt the rock digging into your leg and you'd pulled it out of your pocket and gifted it to him right then and there. He did more than smile that time, he actually laughed. You flushed, wondering if he was going to make fun of you for once, but he didn't. He took the rock gleefully and even named it after you. You started giggling and soon, the two of you were just collapsed on the floor, filled with laughter.
At least some good could come out of these random bursts of affection and you wouldn't trade these precious little moments with him for the world. The thought that you were the one that made him smile and laugh like this, it filled you with the most genuine sense of happiness even if you were embarrassed at how you'd done it.
At some point, Hoshina thought he'd have some fun with the situation- he didn't want you to feel left out after all, and he wanted to compliment you too.
So he started running up to you, yelling something like "Your hair looks very pretty today!" or "Those curves of yours are looking mighty fine!" and then dart off; even though he wasn't embarrassed, he wanted to keep the same energy as you. It made you laugh. And he loved when you laughed.
And then it got easier and easier to be around him. You weren't stumbling over your words anymore, you were proclaiming them with pride.
"Thought you could hide those biceps from me forever, huh, Hoshina? Let me get a good look." You even had the nerve to fucking wink at him.
He'd smirk and flex them at you, then blow you a kiss.
And you went on and on like this, flirting with him, laughing with him, stealing little moments with him anywhere you could. The thing about being in love with Soshiro Hoshina was that your feelings always made themselves known to him. But somehow, someway, through all the awkward encounters, all the stammered words, all the heavy breaths threatening to collapse your trembling lungs, your feelings found their way into his heart. And he guarded them like they were his treasure. And he reciprocated them tenfold.
One day, he said the cheesiest thing about how when you had kids he'd have the best story to tell them about how you met and how you started falling for each other and you teased him for being so corny, but that was the day you knew you'd marry him.
Because the thing about being in love with Soshiro Hoshina is that it's the best feeling in the world, but being loved by Soshiro Hoshina is even better.
#kaiju no. 8#soshiro hoshina#soshiro hoshina x reader#hoshina#anime#oneshot#hoshina x reader#hoshina soshiro x reader#anime fanfic#fluff
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can they cook: fellowship edition
samwise: obviously. makes the best food ever. doesn’t even follow recipes anymore. can bake too. makes really great pies, both sweet and savory. makes the dough himself.
frodo: no. sam and bilbo mostly cooked for him. sam taught him how to cook potatoes. he messed even that up. he helps by doing dishes and cutting and washing food. he can bake well, though.
pippin: once put an egg on the oven for breakfast. it was in its shell, and exploded. don’t let him near the knives or stove top.
merry: makes pretty good edibles. has mastered brownies and cookies, once put weed in a tart. can make dry sandwiches, that’s about it.
legolas: lmao no. accidentally on a raw diet. he eats everything as is. if you’re luckily he will give it a quick rinse. doesn’t eat meat, probably for the best. one time sam saw him take a bite out of a raw onion like it was an apple and lost his mind.
gimli: yes! makes good roasts and hearty stews. has the best jerky, and puts way to much pepper in everything. uses ground oven for everything he can- he digs a hole, fills it with food, and lights a fire over it. says the dirt add flavor.
aragorn: it’s edible. mostly unseasoned. will use herbs for medicine instead. knows how to perfectly cook any meat, but can’t make a salad for the life of him.
boromir: grill dad. he only cooks over flame. carrots? grill. potatoes? grill. nuts? grill. he’s a big fan of just, throwing the food into the fire pit. to be fair, it tastes pretty good. only uses salt, pepper and paprika.
gandalf: no one has ever seen gandalf cooking. truth is, he can, in theory. hasn’t actually cooked in forever. the last thing he made was a birthday cake. it was no one’s birthday. he ate it by himself and didn’t share with anyone.
#lord of the rings#gandalf#legolas#jrr tolkien#pippin#samwise gamgee#aragorn#legolas greenleaf#lotr#gimli#gimli son of gloin#meridoc brandybuck#peregrin took#merry#merry and pippin#frodo#frodo baggins#boromir son of denethor#boromir#jrrt#tolkien#the fellowship#the fellowship of the ring#lotr headcanons#can they cook#lotr imagine#lord of the rings headcanons#the shire#lotr fandom#sam and frodo
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